#Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

[beeseverywhen]

So I've been thinking about what tumblr is in this metaphor and I've decided: tumblr is like a pirate radio ship/commune on a boat. Some ppl saw what twitter was doing and they were like yeah we could do that and they grouped together and bought one of those really big ships. Like an ex cruise ship. And everyone was like 'this will never work they are doing what twitter is doing but in a batshit and frankly stupid way. They are more interested in painting the boat to make it look all funky rather than learning about how boats work and what they need to do to keep it afloat and how they are gonna get food and stuff. Everyone is like 'this is gonna end up badly and they'll all come to land with their tail between their legs, apart from those that are chronically sea dogs, who'll end up going to twitterland where things are actually being run properly, or else they'll consider Facebook' (which is actually a harbourside company town, but the houses are all on stilts.)

While twitter was ensuring they got important society running tm people and Facebook was ensuring the company store was filled to the brim with products from their sponsors and was like selling timeshares so that ppl could live part time in their little pods on stilts tumblr was like yeah sure everyone come on board. So you had like a section of the ship full of clowns and another full of tired adults who've quit their professional jobs and run away to find themselves and there's also a thriving lbgt section of the ship that's just like regular lbgt people who don't feel they fit in to the communities they lived in before. And there's a reasonable number of teenagers barely old enough to leave home, who've all run away from the confinement of the societal expectations or whatever

Every now and again there's rumours from the land press that some celebrity is in hiding on The tumblr (this is some kind of pun between like a drinking glass and a boat. I don't know) but all the tumblr residents are kinda shifty about it and no interviewer knows if it's all some big joke or if rockstar of the week really is hiding out on there, apparently along with a few actors, some authors and a few artists. They aren't lying they just don't seem to care. Celebrity? What celebrity? That's just Neil. He's on dish duty this week.

So for a good few years twitterland is thriving Facebook town is thriving. Tumblr is doing better than expected? They haven't sunk the boat yet. Lots of people from various walks of life like to come there to get away from things on a little retreat in to Weird tm culture. People on there are a bit elitist like 'yeah we aren't sheep, living on land under capitalism, we are here, living life as humans are supposed to. Creating art, having weird sex parties. It's all good'. The only thing these groups of ppl have in common is that they don't really vibe with regular culture on land. Its a counter culture thing. But they all live alongside each other pretty well. Mostly keeping to their own parts of the ship but getting on well when they bump in to each other. The guy that owns the largest share of the boat is like 'look. I'm going to sell a stake in the boat to my buddy so we can do some improvements' nobody agrees but it happens and nothing really changes. The old owner is still the captain. People are kinda annoyed cause they are like. 'This was a communal thing' but the guy is like, yeah but I decided to get things going, to find a boat, refit it, invite people to stay. I've been steering the boat all this time. This is for the good of everyone, the boat will be better for it

And then, a group of some of the younger residents, decide to put on an event, but they have no event planning skills and also, commit a deadly sin on board the boat: they bring money in to it. Usually money only changes hands when ppl leave the boat, but they decide to host a party on board the ship and get residents to pay for it. The party is very underwhelming. It's a great embarrassment and lots of people leave the boat for good. Its no longer seen as a good retreat for celebrities, a few stay, but they are more 'tumblr weirdos' than they are celebrities by this point. They've shed the garb of 'celeb' and fully acclimated. The hold outs are mostly ppl that were already kind of uncomfortable with being 'celebrities' they've always been more comfortable just being a weird guy just like everyone else left on the boat.

News places stop bothering with tumblr, they are more concerned with Facebook town and twitter which are considered successful, and are making money with advertising/ product placements in the 'life in a day' videos they churn out. The ppl left on the tumblr ship fully lean in to the weirdness. But without any celebrity following/positive news, on land ppl are very much unimpressed with tumblr. The guy who bought out the share goes bankrupt and the share of the boat gets transferred to a different business. After a while the original captain is like 'you know what. Its been a wild ride but I don't think boating is for me. I'm going to go live in a house. GL.

The business conglomerate that owns the share in the boat is like. Well. You need a captain. Can't just leave you to it. We've got a great guy for the job. Don't worry he loves this whole thing. He's a strict business guy and everyone is like 'he's going to sell the boat off for parts! They'll take our home!' But actually the new guy is very in to the idea of the tumblr boat, though he really doesn't get it. He keeps popping in for little holidays. He's like 'I think we could make this a holiday resort' and all the residents are like, this would be a terrible holiday resort. It was once a cruise ship, sure, but its something very different now. Why would we turn it in to a holiday destination when there are already 100s of non converted cruise ships doing a better job? And the guy is just like sipping a pina colada through a straw still dressed in a suit, like shrugging. 'It's only an idea'. He seems to be enjoying himself but he still seems a bit baffled by things, he's like 'so what's with the sex parties' and everyone is like, it's no big deal. Those of us not involved are used to it by now we don't care. They seem to be having a good time. Good for them.

Tumblr has been finding it hard to find places to moor up and resupply (it's still disorganised as hell so who knows how they're buying their communally owned food) for a while and it's not been helped by the fact that their 'all are welcome' policy has led to a few on the run criminals camping out on board, without them knowing which has given them bad press. The new captain is like 'I can solve this. Don't worry about it' and next thing they know, he's hosting a press conference saying that the boat is banning sex parties. And everyone is like?! How could you do that? Some of them are like 'sex parties are a part of life on board. We'd be nothing without them' and others are like 'personally I'm not bothered about the sex parties but I don't think they are the problem, we keep asking you to remove the wanted criminals we've warned you about, but you did nothing and now you want to boot out the rule abiding, perfectly civil sex party attendees? How could you make a decision like this without consulting us. Who will you be kicking out next? This is a slippery slope'. And the guy is like hold on a second let's not be too harsh. "Look guys. We need to reboot our image. These harbours are saying they don't want us to dock. They say we aren't family friendly. They say we've got nothing to contribute to their economy's. Banning the parties is the only way. Nobody's getting booted. You all have the opportunity to promise not to have sex on board again, and to dispose of all the posters advertising past parties and the photo collages and stuff and If you do that, you're free to stay.'

Nobody's impressed by that so loads of people leave. Either because they were attending parties and want to continue to, or just because they don't agree. By now parts of the boat are straight up abandoned. There's nobody new to move in to the rooms people left, so they are just like, standing dark and empty, still decorated, but abandoned. Time goes on, they don't have any trouble docking but it's getting harder and harder to pay for supplies, with so many less people and the company with the big share in the boat are not so willing to pay for things now they see there's little hope of them getting any of it back. (Things are just depressing now it's all empty. They'll never sell this as a resort) eventually they sell it off to another company.

The ppl still living there are very resistant to the new owners like 'they already took our sex parties and drove away our friends. How much worse can it get? What are you going to do?' And they don't trust any suggestions. But the new owners are like 'look. We kind of understand how things work on your boat. We don't personally have anything like this, but we do have experience managing a load of little communities living as property guardians in abandoned hotels/resorts. Its not the same! But we do have an idea of what you are trying to do here. You are artists. We get that.

And people start to warm up to them a bit when it's been a year or so and they aren't selling off bits but eventually the new guys are like 'look we can't keep paying for your food without any contribution. Our other communes give us a cut of their business proceeds, some of them pay rent. Everyone is very unimpressed by this, but over time they warm up to the idea somewhat (it's made clear that the boat needs major repairs if it's gonna keep floating) and unlike the last guy who was pretty content to drink pina coladas and imagine he was on a different boat, the people from this company do seem to be interested in hearing from the residents. They are making small repairs. They are hosting residents meetings.

They set up a gift shop, stocking things that the residents might find amusing. They set up a few paid for initiatives that get completely shot down. They convert some of the abandoned rooms in to double sized rooms and are like 'you can pay to upgrade and live in a bigger cabin'. You can pay for a new door in an interesting color or new carpeting. They set up a stage and a gallery. People can pay to display their art/ do a comedy routine or play music. Some people pay for stage time to bring issues to light. People are still very hesitant. There's a spectrum of ppl joining in with the efforts they approve of (gift shop. Personalised doors) but ignoring those they don't agree with, and then some ppl strictly refusing to support any of it, and setting up sit ins/graffiting posters advertising the paid for ventures.

And then, some ex twitter residents start dribbling in. Some are like 'I'm only here for a short holiday while they work on putting out the fire' some are like 'I'll be hedging my bets and splitting my time' others are like 'wow this is like vintage tumblr. I can't believe you've remodelled this ship to look just like the one from a decade ago'. Twitter does not work to put out the fire. Long lasting residents are a bit like ??? Do they not know we've been here all along. More and more people move in, trying to bring some of the quirks of their twitter world community to the boat. The gift shop keeps going. Advertisers pay to put up posters. The gallery seems to regularly have art so clearly someone's paying. Nobody is really sure what the future looks like.

I can not tell if some of these bots are bots. By combining random words they are perfectly emulating tumblr users. The only thing that I'm clinging on to is how averse the average tumblr is to having their face next to their posts. But some of these bots are starting to use pictures of ppl out doing things/ messing around and I'm like... this could be a person. Is this them or is it a meme. Their face isn't in it. It's not centred on their body. This could be a person. Especially as twitter continues to slowly sink like a very slowly burning very very large construction in the sea.

It's like one of those big abandoned rigs/sea stations where years after its been left some ppl come across it and move in like 'we can repurpose this' and next thing you know they are living there like 'we are a country now' and things seem to be thriving and they appear to have a functioning society and its like 'have these ppl escaped capitalism' and then one day there's some kind of disaster and loads of ppl abandon it and come back to regular society and they are all like telling stories about how it was.

And then as time goes on every now and again another person gives up and abandons ship, and comes back to land living society with a even crazier story about what's been going down since the last person left. And time goes on and eventually it's like largely abandoned. The ppl still living there are either very loyal or remain thanks to sunk cost. And its pretty well understood that by this point the guy in charge is a dictator and its all a bit culty and there's no real reason to stay. Its just living amongst like empty rusting offices (cause there aren't enough ppl left to keep it running like a society/improving so it's just like an abandoned weather station in the middle of the sea again and the weather's always shit cause its the middle of the sea. The dream is dead, they are just only realising one at a time.

And then one day someone's boat goes past and the place is on fire and everyone's like hey are you guys OK? And tries to evacuate them. But they are all like 'our leader says its fine. Its cool we don't need rescuing. Like you could rescue us. Life on land is shit. Enjoy capitalism losers!' And everyone's a bit like uncomfortable about leaving them there, but it's like. What can you do. They are just like 'the fire keeps to its side of the station we keep to ours, its np.'

But everyone decides to keep an eye on things all the same. Reporting on things out of morbid curiosity and a little bit like 'you can still get out. We're here.' And then one day the place (still on fire) starts to sink in to the sea and you really think they'll jump ship now. What's left? But they are still clinging on to this dream of what it could have been. And the place is like burning but also littered with advertisements cause the cult leader is letting just about anyone sponsor them, and it is a burning wreck sinking in to the sea, but also its on the news 24/7 so there are always ppl willing to stick their logo on it

Anyway, I've got completely carried away with my metaphor here. But twitters like that. And as ppl slowly abandon ship and are like 'I guess we'll return to the shitty lives we thought we'd escaped' they bring a bit of 'comune that's also a country on a rig in the middle of the sea' culture with them. And so there are now more ppl on tumblr doing twitter things like having attractively posed pictures as their icon

[star-maiden]

Weekly Tarot Forecast 11/30/20 - 12/6/20

Hello and welcome! This is a general outlook tarot reading for the collective, by zodiac sign.This week, we are focusing on any message or messages coming through from Spirit that you need to hear right now in order to navigate the week ahead. If you happened upon this reading, then there is a message here that is meant for you! As with all of my readings for the collective, these messages are meant for a wide range of people, life paths and situations. It is general outlook advice. As such, you may find that not everything resonates with you completely, and that is ok. Please take only what resonates and leave the rest. You will also want to check your sun, moon and rising signs for the message or messages that are meant for you. I sincerely hope that these messages will serve your highest and greatest good, and assist you in making wise, informed decisions. Best wishes and many blessings!

♈ - Aries: Knight of Swords R: There is a situation in your life or coming toward you where you may feel as though you are bumbling around in the dark. Usually, the knight of swords charges in and defeats any obstacle with logic and discernment, but in this situation you may not have all the facts. Moving forward while in a state of fear or confusion is not likely to yield the best results. Alternatively, you might be rushing into something without conviction. When our actions are out of alignment with our true heart’s desire or higher calling, then we may feel stuck, bogged down or that we are just going through the motions for the sake of pleasing society or someone else. This isn’t good for you, Aries. You might need to reconsider a few things, and decide how you would like to get “unstuck” and move past this situation in a way that is supportive and healthy for you.

♉ - Taurus: The Empress R: This card feels very emotionally charged. There may be a pervasive feeling of lack or disconnection from abundance. You might be fearful about losing something that is close and dear to your heart. Taurus, there may be a situation in your life that is causing undue stress and/or anxiety. If this is the case, then the Empress Reversed is reminding you to slow down. Reconnect with yourself and the Earth. If you are open to alternative spirituality, you might want to practice connecting with the Earth as Divine Mother. Remember how she supports and sustains you, and know that there is no burden too heavy for her handle. If that’s not for you, consider focusing some extra attention on your self care practice. What can you do today that will help you feel more secure and supported? Who in your life can you talk to. It’s ok to lean on your loved ones for support. The key thing to remember here is that the Empress is never truly lacking in all resources. There is always a solution. There is always a way forward.

♊ - Gemini: High Priestess: Gemini, this week you may find yourself tapping into your intuitive side more than ever before. For any ongoing situation in your life, or for anything that comes up for you this week, know that your subconscious has been speaking to you. Trust your intuition and yourself enough to make your own decisions. Look for internal insights and convictions, rather than any form of external validations. Right now, speaking your own truth can be the most powerful catalyst for change. If you have been wondering about something, then this card is confirming that you already know the answers. Quiet down the outside noise and opinions of others. Listen to the voice of your inner wisdom; your experience. What is it saying to you?

♋ - Cancer: The Hanged One R: This week is time to get moving toward your goals! If there has been something that you have been trying to accomplish or bring into your life, then now is the time to start actively working toward achieving it. This message is especially true if you feel that you have been stuck in a period of waiting around, or a stalemate of some sort. Right about this week, things should be looking a lot clearer than before, and you should be feeling pretty on top of things. Your understanding and insights should be crystal clear in the coming week. What is it that you need to accomplish? How will you get there?

♌ - Leo: Knight of Pentacles R: There may be something coming into your life or a situation that you have been dealing with that now feels well and truly stuck. All progress has halted, and you may be feeling unmotivated and uninspired to continue. The important message of this card is to not give up hope! Often times, when we feel stuck on something and don’t know the way forward, we need to spend some more time researching and planning. Through the act of examining alternative routes and talking to those who have had similar experiences, new doorways will open up and you will be able to get things moving again, back on track. Another message that I’m hearing with this card is that you may need to take a bit of a break. This second message is especially true if your project is related to your creative capacity in some way. Sometimes, the best way to unblock a situation is to completely ignore it for a little while. This way, you can rekindle the passion and inspiration that helped you get started in the first place.

♍ - Virgo: 10 of Swords R: This week, you may find that a burden of some kind will be lifted from you. This is likely to be more mental/emotional than anything else. Old wounds are finally getting a chance to heal, and you should be feeling pretty good about things moving forward. For some of you, this may take the form of something moving out of your life for good (and for the better!). If there was a person or situation that was causing you a lot of stress, then this card is indicative that things will soon be resolved. You can hasten this healing process by releasing anything that does not support you mentally and emotionally in a healthy way. If something appears to be on its way out, it may be time to let it go. “Good Riddance” to old habits and dramas that were weighing you down.

♎ - Libra: 4 of Cups R: This week is a good time to notice the many blessings that have always been around you. You should be moving into a situation or mindset that feels more positive and uplifting. If you have been feeling lately that you’ve been in a bit of a slump, then this card is confirming that you are now reading to move away from that. This message may be related to social media or communication by phone in some way. If you have been feeling a bit off or like the people/situations/energies in your life just don’t hold the same spark for you anymore, then it may be time to look inwards for a bit. Consider what you really want in your life, and what would be most fulfilling to you. Opportunities will always present themselves to those who keep an open mind and look for them, but remember that you don’t always have to take what is being offered. If there is something in your life that you feel like you have to take because there are others telling you that it’s too good to pass up, be sure to check in with yourself and make sure it is actually in alignment with what you truly want. A blessing from one person’s point of view can seem rather disastrous from another.

♏ - Scorpio: 8 of Swords: There may be a situation in your life that has you feeling stuck and unable to see the way out. It may feel that your hands are tied or that the ground you have built your life on is mushy and slowly sinking into the depths of the earth. In your life, this feeling may manifest itself as a job you don’t like, or as a relationship that no longer feels fulfilling for you. It could even be a general sense of unease and entrapment. However, it is important to remember that there is always a way out. Oftentimes, when we are stressed, we can talk ourselves into a feeling of being powerless and unable to act. If this is the case for you, Scorpio, you’ll want to be extra mindful of your self-talk. We can easily make a situation feel worse than it is simply by using words that are negative, untrue or downright mean. It doesn’t have to be all sunshine and rainbow language all the time, especially if that’s not your thing. But consider how the words you use with yourself and others either disempower  or empower you. How do your words inform your actions or inactions? Do they make you feel paralyzed, or do they inspire you to move forward toward your goals? Another thing to notice is that this card always comes with a silver lining. See the water at her feet, flowing away from the situation? Water has a lot to teach us. With patience and diligence, it can flow right through any obstacle. There is always a way out.

♐ - Sagittarius: 7 of Cups: This week, there will likely be many possibilities opening up for you. In situations involving choices that must be made in order to move forward, you may find that there are too many options to choose from. Each path forward may seem mystical and utterly full of excitement and magic. You may even be feeling a bit overwhelmed with the sheer number of possibilities. This may manifest as a feeling of feeling scattered or unable to commit to a person, situation or mindset. While it’s generally a good thing to keep our options open, sometimes we can become so mystified and distracted by the possibility of achieving what we desire, that we miss out on the opportunity to act. This week, Sagittarius, it may be beneficial for you to commit to one path and/or decision. Having a clear goal or purpose in mind while you make your choice will assist you in this.

♑ - Capricorn: The Hierophant: This week there is a lesson that needs to be learned or experienced in order for you to move forward or step away from a situation that has been causing a lot of harm or discomfort. This lesson holds the key to your success and inner growth, and will likely seem a bit stuffy or restrictive at first. The Hierophant is a card that speaks of tradition, status quo and learning for the sake of spiritual and/or character growth. It relies heavily on the idea that there is a certain way that things must be done, and to deviate from the traditional path means that you cannot achieve or accomplish the thing you are trying to attain. Is there something in your life right now that requires you to follow steps or a specific order? If so, then this card could be reinforcing the need to make sure you follow the proper guidelines well. When we are learning something, or being initiated into a tradition of some sort, then we can expect to follow certain steps or sequences of events. If this kind of learning is not for you, then there may be another path or study that will be better for you.

♒ - Aquarius: 8 of Pentacles: This week is the time to begin the work toward any project or goal that you have been considering. Being an air sign, it is likely that you excel at the mental/planning stages of the creative process, but you may struggle with the actual, physical work part. If this sounds like you, then this card is telling you that now is the time to go for it. You have planned and envisioned the way you’d like everything to be, and now it is time to bring your idea into being. This will likely be a process that could span several weeks to a few months. Know that any hard work you invest into your goals now will majorly pay off in the future.

♓ - Pisces: The Queen of Cups: This week, you should be able to embody the archetype of the Queen of water. This could mean that you are feeling in tune with your emotions and intuition. Your actions should be feeling in alignment with your emotions, and while you are able to source your inspiration from your deepest feelings, you should also have no trouble a healthy separation between your emotional reality and your physical reality. You may be feeling so in tune with this compassionate energy that others may look up to you or come to you for advice. You give off a vibe that makes others feel that they can speak with you about any personal or sensitive issue. They trust that you will always listen with compassion and empathy, and that you will never mock or belittle an experience, no matter how it seems. This week, you may find yourself stepping into the role of the Queen of Cups. Alternatively, this could be a gentle reminder to embody all of her qualities in your own life, for yourself. How can you bring the energy of this queen into your life this week?

[westannatasharomanoff]

THG AU Chapter 28

Chapter 1       Chapter 2     Chapter 3     Chapter 4    Chapter 5    Chapter 6 Chapter 7   Chapter 8   Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11 Chapter 12  Chapter 13 Chapter 14  Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19   Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22  Chapter 23   Chapter 24  Chapter 25 Chapter 26   Chapter 27

TW: Major Character Death

*One month after S.H.I.E.L.D. successfully stole the file,  it was once again time for The Hunger Games. Bruce was no longer a mentor, but Natasha still had to go to The Capitol. Unfortunately, she couldn’t help as much this year because she couldn’t teach tactical climbing. Luckily, Wanda offered to help Natasha’s tribute learn what he needed to learn. Once the games started, Natasha’s tribute was dead within two days. She decided that she wanted to go home instead of staying in The Capitol.* 

Bruce: You’re home early.

Natasha: I missed you. Besides, everyone was asking me questions about the baby and it was a bit overwhelming. 

Bruce: Did you convince them to tell you if we’re having a boy or a girl? 

Natasha: I asked, but they wouldn’t tell me. 

Bruce: I need to mentally prepare if we have to name our child Triffle. 

Natasha: *laughs* Yeah. 

Bruce: In all seriousness, I’m excited no matter what we’re naming our child. 

Natasha: Good. So am I. 

*A couple more months go by. S.H.I.E.L.D. successfully carries out a few more missions to subtly weaken The Capitol. The Capitol brought Natasha there to have the baby. Bruce waited in the hallway until he was allowed to go in.*

Nurse: Sir? You can go in now.

*The nurse lead him into the room. *

Bruce: How’re you feeling?

Natasha: Tired. You? 

Bruce: Excited. And also very nervous. 

Natasha: Okay. Well, there’s someone I’d like you to meet. * handing him a baby with dark hair and blue eyes wrapped in a pink blanket* This is Victoria! 

Bruce: *crying* Wow. 

Natasha: Is something wrong?

Bruce: No, this moment is just so perfect. I don’t think anything could mess this up. 

*Just then, several camera crews and a bunch of reporters barged in. They all started talking at once while crowding Natasha, Bruce, and Victoria. Victoria starts crying.*

Random reporter: Everyone wants to know if it’s a boy or a girl! Why don’t you tell the people what they want to know?

Bruce: Huh? Why are you- she literally just- GET OUT! 

Other reporter: We’re allowed to be in here, Snow’s orders. Now, tell us if it’s a boy or a girl!

Bruce: My daughter is not an it!

First reporter again: You heard it here first. It’s a girl! Victoria Banner has officially been welcomed into the world. 

Bruce: Okay, will that be all? Because Nat should really be resting and-

A third reporter: We will decide when we’re done here. Now, let us see Victoria!

Bruce: Hey! You get that camera out of her face! You’re scaring her! 

Third reporter: Oh, how cute! She has her father’s hair, but her eyes are just like her mother’s. It’s a real shame she’s so loud. If she were quieter she’d be adorable.

Natasha: She was being quiet, then a bunch of people came in here unannounced! 

A fourth reporter: That’s a real shame. Where are those people now?

Natasha: Still in here asking me questions. 

*All of the reporters and camera crews laugh. They continue to ask questions until Bruce realizes how upset Natasha is getting.*

Bruce: I think it’s time for you to leave. *a few reporters try to argue* You asked your questions, now get out. 

*The reporters leave.*

Bruce: Are you okay?

Natasha: I’m tired and overwhelmed, not to mention my whole body hurts. But other than that I’m great.

Bruce: Maybe you should get some rest. *kisses her forehead* I’ll be sitting right here, okay? 

Natasha: Okay. 

*The next day, they went back home to 12 and everyone came by to meet Victoria.*

Melina: Well isn’t she just cute as a button? 

Alexei: She has your eyes, Natasha! And such wonderful dark hair! 

Wanda: Can I hold her next?

Natasha: *taking Victoria from Melina* Of course. Say hi to your Aunt Wanda!

Wanda: Aww, she’s so tiny! *Wanda starts bouncing slightly*

Pietro: She’s a baby. What were you expecting? 

Bruce: Okay, be careful. Don’t drop her. 

Wanda: *stops bouncing* I won’t. 

*Later, after everyone leaves but Fury, Maria, Wanda, and Pietro.*

Fury: Okay. *encases them in bubble* We make our first major strike next month, after you’ve had some time to recover and get back to normal. You guys will bring Victoria on the hovercraft because if you leave her home, she may be in danger. Those few days will hopefully be our first and last strike and we should be able to overthrow The Capitol. We’ve been tearing them apart from the inside, and now it’s finally falling into place. The key is to get them to destroy themselves. 

Natasha: And we’re starting with the weapons warehouse, right? 

Fury: Right. Be prepared for anything, physically and mentally. There is no way all of us are making it through this alive. 

Natasha: We’ll be ready. 

Wanda: Panem is about to enter a new era, and we’re ready to make sure it’s a change for the better

Bruce: I’m just as ready as these guys, but are you sure we have to bring Victoria?

Maria: It’s that or leave her behind without proper protection.

Bruce: If that’s the only way, I guess it works. 

*One month later, everyone was on the hovercraft. They got to the weapons warehouse and Daisy and Leo were sent inside to take plans and sabotage weaponry. Soon, The Capitol catches wind of it and schedules the destruction of the building. Leo gets out and onto the hovercraft in a timely manner.* 

Tony: We did it! The Capitol is going to destroy their own building!

Steve: I hate to rain on anyone’s parade, but that Daisy girl is still in there. 

Leo: What? She was right behind me!

Daisy (over her communication device): My leg is stuck under a bookshelf that fell while we were running. I’m not getting out of this. 

Daniel: No. No, we’re getting you out of there! *stands up* I’ll go in and get you!

Daisy: *the signal is breaking up due to the preparations for the incoming attack* No. I’m not worth that. Besides, you’ll never get us both out in time.  Just leave and win this revolution. You have to. *connection is lost* 

Daniel: Daisy?! Do you copy?! We lost her. 

Phil: We have to save her! I’m going in.

* A few people try to protest, but Coulson grabs a parachute and jumps down. He runs into the building. A moment later, the building and everything in it is completely obliterated.*

Mack: Yes! The Capitol destroyed its own warehouse!

Melinda: No. Nonononono. We have to get them out of there. 

Fury: We have to move along. This revolution is not going to win itself.

Daniel: But what about Phil and Daisy? They’re still in the building!

Grant: There is no building! It’s been reduced to rubble! We have to go.

Melinda: No, Phil has this talent. He never actually dies. He has to be alive, we have to get them out of there! 

Daniel: If it were any one of us down there, Phil and Daisy wouldn’t give up.

Fury: Maria, why don’t you handle this?

Maria: *sigh* In 12, we coal miners have a policy. We never abandon a mining accident until it’s completely hopeless. 

Melinda: See?! We can’t abandon them until this is hopeless!

Maria: That being said, we need to go. 

Melinda: What? No. It isn’t hopeless! We need to search the building!

Grant: What building?! The building is gone! They’re gone. 

Melinda: *holding back tears* We’re sure it’s hopeless? *Everybody but Daniel, Natasha, and Wanda nods.* Okay then. I- I need a minute. *runs to the next room in the hovercraft*

Daniel: *sobbing* No! We can’t leave them here! I don’t care about your stupid mining policy, this isn’t hopeless! *into his communication device* Daisy! Daisy Johnson, do you read me?!

Tripp: *sniff* She’s gone, Sousa. Give it up. This is going to be rough on all of us, but we can’t lose this now. You heard what Maria said. We wouldn’t be abandoning this unless it was absolutely hopeless.

Natasha: *also holding back tears* Maria forgot half of the policy.

Wanda: That’s right, she did. 

Maria: What do you mean?

Natasha: Clint always used to say that an accident is never hopeless until every last miner loses hope. If he were here, we’d keep looking.

Fury: Barton’s been dead for two years! Stop acting like he’d be saying anything if he were here right now! 

Natasha: Just one quick scan. That way, we’ll know for sure if anyone is still breathing under that rubble. 

Peggy: *pressing the scan button* I guess it couldn’t hurt to- well, would you look at that! One survivor, female, about 19 years old. DNA match for Daisy Johnson. 

Daniel: I’ll get her! *tries to run out of the hovercraft*

Gamora: You might want to use a parachute. 

Daniel: Right. 

*Once Daisy was back on the hovercraft, they put her on the bed in the medical area and dealt with her injuries. Daniel sat next to the bed and waited for her to wake up.*

Daisy: *opens her eyes* Huh? What happened?

Daniel: You’re alive! I mean, obviously we knew you were breathing but we weren’t sure if you were going to wake up. What’s the last thing you remember?

Daisy: The warehouse. I was stuck under the bookshelf and Coulson threw a soundproof bubble at me and encased me in it. Then everything went black.

Daniel: That must be what protected you from the initial explosion. After that, you must have been hit by falling rubble or something. 

Daisy: Wait, where’s Coulson? I don’t see him here in the medical area, so what happened to him? 

Daniel: I’m so sorry, I know he was like a father to you.

Daisy: *sits up* He’s dead?!

Daniel: Please lie back down, we don’t know if it’s safe for you to be sitting up-

Daisy: *tearing up* So he died to save me? You let him run into that building to get me unstuck? I’m not worth that! You should have left me there! You all should have left me there! I told you to go!

Jemma: Everyone tried to convince him to stay on the hovercraft, but he went in anyway. 

Daisy: You should have tried harder!

Bruce: Daisy, lie down. We need to check you for a concussion. *Daisy reluctantly complies*

Daniel: We couldn’t just leave you there. You would have been killed. 

Daisy: Next time, let me die. 

[almajonesnjna]

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s 5:45AM, and I’m lying in bed with my eyes closed. I’m exhausted because I managed to have one of my recurring nightmares the previous night where I dreamed my bed was covered in spiders—this happens once every few months, especially when I’m overtired.

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

“ACK! I was supposed to call the dermatologist yesterday to schedule an appointment—it’s been on my to-do list for 10 days weighing me down and yet I can’t get myself to pick up the phone. Why am I so averse to talking to a human on a telephone? Just do it, idiot! Call them today at 9AM.

“Why the hell did I dream about spiders again last night? I have to write thousands of words today. And I have that awkward meeting planned stressing me out. OH **** I forgot to send my mom a mother’s day card! I did send her flowers. Is that enough? She loves cards. Can I express ship one in time? AHHHHH!

“Is that networking event I agreed to tonight or tomorrow night? Why did Past Steve commit Future Steve to that? I hate that guy! Wait, is today Wednesday? Sonofa, today is a training day at the gym too. Good luck finding time for that. Oh GOOD, I’m out of clean underwear. And the fridge is empty. And how do I have a pimple inside my nose? I would like to curl up into the fetal position and opt-out of all responsibilities today.”

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

What the inside of my brain looks like: take my crazy stream of conscious above and read it in the style of slam poetry, while a Tasmanian devil plays the bongos with no discernible rhythm in the background. He then eats the bongo and starts Irish step dancing. Out of rhythm. While setting off fireworks.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t seem to make any progress on anything, and yet I know making progress on stuff is the fastest path for me to escape this maniacal prison my brain has trapped me in!

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

I learned this philosophy from William H. McRaven, retired US Navy Admiral and author of the book Make Your Bed: how you do the little things will impact how you do the big things. And by starting with a simple little thing, it can help me build momentum and show myself that I do have control and can affect the outcome of things.

Sure, I don’t make my bed with military precision (sorry Admiral!)—I simply pull the covers up as neatly as I can, I put the pillows on the bed and make sure it looks presentable. This takes less than 2 minutes and gives me a quick win before I’ve even left the room.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Note: Comically, this is often the suggestion I get the most vitriol or controversy for. I’m going to ignore the argument of “this makes it easier for bed bugs Steve” or “I read that creative geniuses have messy beds and I’m unique and blah blah blah” or “nobody else sees my bed; why should I waste valuable time making it?” or “I get up early and my spouse is still asleep and thus I cannot make my bed.”

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

If you are vehemently opposed to making your bed (or there is a person still asleep in it!), pick another thing like cleaning up your room, cleaning out the sink, cleaning off your kitchen table, etc. as soon as you wake up to give yourself an early win. OR, just make your bed, take the win, and move on!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

But I’ll be damned if it’s not an actually important thing that falls by the wayside when life gets busy. And I imagine if you’re a mom or a dad, you have plenty of other people to care for, and caring for yourself is often at the bottom of the list.

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

But I’ll be damned if my teeth don’t feel great after a good floss. For whatever reason, flossing is something that I avoid, until I actually do it and realize “that wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I did that, I feel better.”

I like to think this primes my brain to tackle other undesirable tasks later on in the day. Flossing wasn’t bad, and I’m glad I did it. What about that other task I’ve been avoiding? I bet it’s not as bad as my dumb brain has built it up to be.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

WHY IT WORKS: They say dress for the role you want, not the one you have. And I don’t currently have a spacesuit. So I’m stuck with dressing like a more grown-up, put-together version of me. When I’m showered, shaved, shampooed, conditioned, and flossed, I just feel like a better human being worthy of some compassion and also a guy that can get things done.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

It’s a video I can put on that takes 5 minutes or less that makes me want to run through a brick wall. In lieu of a brick wall being readily available, it inspires me to start actually getting things done and getting closer to my goals.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

WHY IT WORKS: Motivation is a real thing. And when timed correctly, it can really help me get unstuck and get the ball rolling on a project or a good pump-up talk before hitting the gym. What I don’t do is force myself to watch 40 motivational videos and run out of time to exercise. This is neither productive nor helpful. And I know motivation wanes, so I use the motivation strategically to set myself up so that I don’t need motivation later.

Side note: please don’t get lost down a youtube rabbit hole—that’s how you end up watching 15 videos about baby goats. Not that this just happened to me. Have your go-to video that you watch and reminds you that you can get stuff done, and then go do it.

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

When life gets too busy, exercise is often the first thing to get thrown by the wayside. And I know that when I can’t get a workout in, I tend to eat like an idiot too, which makes things even worse.

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

I’m a big fan of the mentality: “do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” (Thanks, Teddy Roosevelt). And this protocol will allow you to diffuse bombs and apprehend fugitives snap out of a funk with a clear head and remind all the muscles in your body: “We’re doing fitness things today!”

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

WHY THIS WORKS: The 10-10-10 gets the blood circulating. It gets my muscle fibers firing. It gets my brain working. And that 10 minute walk can really clear my head. It allows me to get out of my head, stop worrying about the past and the future, and just focus on what I can do TODAY.

Unsurprisingly, I get my best ideas walking around, NOT sitting at my desk. And I know I’m not alone on that—this is borrowed from Steve Jobs, who held walking meetings instead of “sit in conference room” meetings.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

WHY THIS WORKS: When we get overwhelmed, it’s because our brains like to make Misty Mountains out of molehills. The “stuff” we have to do is nebulous, opaque, and scary. Until it gets broken down into steps.

And then it’s not so daunting. And once you can start to cross a thing or two off the list, or make meaningful progress on a project or activity, you come to the realization I come to every single time: I do have the time to do things. I need to say no to more things, I need to manage my time better, and the sooner I can get out of my head the faster I can be DONE.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

(Before you get offended at my self-talk here, I mean “idiot” in a joking, loving manner to remind myself that I’m probably overcomplicating things to the point of paralysis and I need to just slow way down. Feel free to use the term “nerf herder or “cotton-headed ninny muggins” instead.)

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

I’ve tried meditating for 20 minutes a day and kept it up for 60 days (I used Headspace, and I’m also a big fan of Calm). It was like herding cats, and it didn’t unlock the secrets of the cosmos. I did enjoy the Cosmos miniseries on Fox, but that doesn’t apply here.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

WHY THIS WORKS: I find big time value in reminding myself to breathe and just focus on the day I’m living. 5 minutes is enough for me to settle down and then I can go back to #5 (work on the very next step) of a project without being overwhelmed.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

In each of these instances, I’m an innocent bystander. Sure, video games are an active activity, but they can take over one’s life and contribute to overwhelm (I see you Fortnite), so I’ll put gaming in the “consumption” category.

If I’m overwhelmed, to borrow from Nate Green (who calls it “Nuclear Mode”), I recognize the things that are contributing to my overwhelm, especially the stuff that I can’t control—I see you political outrage on Facebook—and GET IT OUT OF MY LIFE.

I already don’t have any social media apps on my phone. I then use Freedom.to to block certain websites for the ENTIRE day. No more mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram. No tinfoil hat theories on Zero Hedge.

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

WHY THIS WORKS: Creating makes me happy, and it makes most humans happy. And yet, our default behavior is to consume because consuming is so much easier. So I remove the temptation of consumption by blocking sites and deleting apps, and emphasize creation—even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide..

https://ift.tt/2GBwV7u

[joshuabradleyn]

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s 5:45AM, and I’m lying in bed with my eyes closed. I’m exhausted because I managed to have one of my recurring nightmares the previous night where I dreamed my bed was covered in spiders—this happens once every few months, especially when I’m overtired.

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

“ACK! I was supposed to call the dermatologist yesterday to schedule an appointment—it’s been on my to-do list for 10 days weighing me down and yet I can’t get myself to pick up the phone. Why am I so averse to talking to a human on a telephone? Just do it, idiot! Call them today at 9AM.

“Why the hell did I dream about spiders again last night? I have to write thousands of words today. And I have that awkward meeting planned stressing me out. OH **** I forgot to send my mom a mother’s day card! I did send her flowers. Is that enough? She loves cards. Can I express ship one in time? AHHHHH!

“Is that networking event I agreed to tonight or tomorrow night? Why did Past Steve commit Future Steve to that? I hate that guy! Wait, is today Wednesday? Sonofa, today is a training day at the gym too. Good luck finding time for that. Oh GOOD, I’m out of clean underwear. And the fridge is empty. And how do I have a pimple inside my nose? I would like to curl up into the fetal position and opt-out of all responsibilities today.”

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

What the inside of my brain looks like: take my crazy stream of conscious above and read it in the style of slam poetry, while a Tasmanian devil plays the bongos with no discernible rhythm in the background. He then eats the bongo and starts Irish step dancing. Out of rhythm. While setting off fireworks.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t seem to make any progress on anything, and yet I know making progress on stuff is the fastest path for me to escape this maniacal prison my brain has trapped me in!

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

I learned this philosophy from William H. McRaven, retired US Navy Admiral and author of the book Make Your Bed: how you do the little things will impact how you do the big things. And by starting with a simple little thing, it can help me build momentum and show myself that I do have control and can affect the outcome of things.

Sure, I don’t make my bed with military precision (sorry Admiral!)—I simply pull the covers up as neatly as I can, I put the pillows on the bed and make sure it looks presentable. This takes less than 2 minutes and gives me a quick win before I’ve even left the room.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Note: Comically, this is often the suggestion I get the most vitriol or controversy for. I’m going to ignore the argument of “this makes it easier for bed bugs Steve” or “I read that creative geniuses have messy beds and I’m unique and blah blah blah” or “nobody else sees my bed; why should I waste valuable time making it?” or “I get up early and my spouse is still asleep and thus I cannot make my bed.”

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

If you are vehemently opposed to making your bed (or there is a person still asleep in it!), pick another thing like cleaning up your room, cleaning out the sink, cleaning off your kitchen table, etc. as soon as you wake up to give yourself an early win. OR, just make your bed, take the win, and move on!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

But I’ll be damned if it’s not an actually important thing that falls by the wayside when life gets busy. And I imagine if you’re a mom or a dad, you have plenty of other people to care for, and caring for yourself is often at the bottom of the list.

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

But I’ll be damned if my teeth don’t feel great after a good floss. For whatever reason, flossing is something that I avoid, until I actually do it and realize “that wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I did that, I feel better.”

I like to think this primes my brain to tackle other undesirable tasks later on in the day. Flossing wasn’t bad, and I’m glad I did it. What about that other task I’ve been avoiding? I bet it’s not as bad as my dumb brain has built it up to be.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

WHY IT WORKS: They say dress for the role you want, not the one you have. And I don’t currently have a spacesuit. So I’m stuck with dressing like a more grown-up, put-together version of me. When I’m showered, shaved, shampooed, conditioned, and flossed, I just feel like a better human being worthy of some compassion and also a guy that can get things done.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

It’s a video I can put on that takes 5 minutes or less that makes me want to run through a brick wall. In lieu of a brick wall being readily available, it inspires me to start actually getting things done and getting closer to my goals.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

WHY IT WORKS: Motivation is a real thing. And when timed correctly, it can really help me get unstuck and get the ball rolling on a project or a good pump-up talk before hitting the gym. What I don’t do is force myself to watch 40 motivational videos and run out of time to exercise. This is neither productive nor helpful. And I know motivation wanes, so I use the motivation strategically to set myself up so that I don’t need motivation later.

Side note: please don’t get lost down a youtube rabbit hole—that’s how you end up watching 15 videos about baby goats. Not that this just happened to me. Have your go-to video that you watch and reminds you that you can get stuff done, and then go do it.

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

When life gets too busy, exercise is often the first thing to get thrown by the wayside. And I know that when I can’t get a workout in, I tend to eat like an idiot too, which makes things even worse.

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

I’m a big fan of the mentality: “do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” (Thanks, Teddy Roosevelt). And this protocol will allow you to diffuse bombs and apprehend fugitives snap out of a funk with a clear head and remind all the muscles in your body: “We’re doing fitness things today!”

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

WHY THIS WORKS: The 10-10-10 gets the blood circulating. It gets my muscle fibers firing. It gets my brain working. And that 10 minute walk can really clear my head. It allows me to get out of my head, stop worrying about the past and the future, and just focus on what I can do TODAY.

Unsurprisingly, I get my best ideas walking around, NOT sitting at my desk. And I know I’m not alone on that—this is borrowed from Steve Jobs, who held walking meetings instead of “sit in conference room” meetings.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

WHY THIS WORKS: When we get overwhelmed, it’s because our brains like to make Misty Mountains out of molehills. The “stuff” we have to do is nebulous, opaque, and scary. Until it gets broken down into steps.

And then it’s not so daunting. And once you can start to cross a thing or two off the list, or make meaningful progress on a project or activity, you come to the realization I come to every single time: I do have the time to do things. I need to say no to more things, I need to manage my time better, and the sooner I can get out of my head the faster I can be DONE.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

(Before you get offended at my self-talk here, I mean “idiot” in a joking, loving manner to remind myself that I’m probably overcomplicating things to the point of paralysis and I need to just slow way down. Feel free to use the term “nerf herder or “cotton-headed ninny muggins” instead.)

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

I’ve tried meditating for 20 minutes a day and kept it up for 60 days (I used Headspace, and I’m also a big fan of Calm). It was like herding cats, and it didn’t unlock the secrets of the cosmos. I did enjoy the Cosmos miniseries on Fox, but that doesn’t apply here.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

WHY THIS WORKS: I find big time value in reminding myself to breathe and just focus on the day I’m living. 5 minutes is enough for me to settle down and then I can go back to #5 (work on the very next step) of a project without being overwhelmed.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

In each of these instances, I’m an innocent bystander. Sure, video games are an active activity, but they can take over one’s life and contribute to overwhelm (I see you Fortnite), so I’ll put gaming in the “consumption” category.

If I’m overwhelmed, to borrow from Nate Green (who calls it “Nuclear Mode”), I recognize the things that are contributing to my overwhelm, especially the stuff that I can’t control—I see you political outrage on Facebook—and GET IT OUT OF MY LIFE.

I already don’t have any social media apps on my phone. I then use Freedom.to to block certain websites for the ENTIRE day. No more mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram. No tinfoil hat theories on Zero Hedge.

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

WHY THIS WORKS: Creating makes me happy, and it makes most humans happy. And yet, our default behavior is to consume because consuming is so much easier. So I remove the temptation of consumption by blocking sites and deleting apps, and emphasize creation—even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide..

https://ift.tt/2GBwV7u

[johnclapperne]

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s 5:45AM, and I’m lying in bed with my eyes closed. I’m exhausted because I managed to have one of my recurring nightmares the previous night where I dreamed my bed was covered in spiders—this happens once every few months, especially when I’m overtired.

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

“ACK! I was supposed to call the dermatologist yesterday to schedule an appointment—it’s been on my to-do list for 10 days weighing me down and yet I can’t get myself to pick up the phone. Why am I so averse to talking to a human on a telephone? Just do it, idiot! Call them today at 9AM.

“Why the hell did I dream about spiders again last night? I have to write thousands of words today. And I have that awkward meeting planned stressing me out. OH **** I forgot to send my mom a mother’s day card! I did send her flowers. Is that enough? She loves cards. Can I express ship one in time? AHHHHH!

“Is that networking event I agreed to tonight or tomorrow night? Why did Past Steve commit Future Steve to that? I hate that guy! Wait, is today Wednesday? Sonofa, today is a training day at the gym too. Good luck finding time for that. Oh GOOD, I’m out of clean underwear. And the fridge is empty. And how do I have a pimple inside my nose? I would like to curl up into the fetal position and opt-out of all responsibilities today.”

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

What the inside of my brain looks like: take my crazy stream of conscious above and read it in the style of slam poetry, while a Tasmanian devil plays the bongos with no discernible rhythm in the background. He then eats the bongo and starts Irish step dancing. Out of rhythm. While setting off fireworks.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t seem to make any progress on anything, and yet I know making progress on stuff is the fastest path for me to escape this maniacal prison my brain has trapped me in!

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

I learned this philosophy from William H. McRaven, retired US Navy Admiral and author of the book Make Your Bed: how you do the little things will impact how you do the big things. And by starting with a simple little thing, it can help me build momentum and show myself that I do have control and can affect the outcome of things.

Sure, I don’t make my bed with military precision (sorry Admiral!)—I simply pull the covers up as neatly as I can, I put the pillows on the bed and make sure it looks presentable. This takes less than 2 minutes and gives me a quick win before I’ve even left the room.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Note: Comically, this is often the suggestion I get the most vitriol or controversy for. I’m going to ignore the argument of “this makes it easier for bed bugs Steve” or “I read that creative geniuses have messy beds and I’m unique and blah blah blah” or “nobody else sees my bed; why should I waste valuable time making it?” or “I get up early and my spouse is still asleep and thus I cannot make my bed.”

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

If you are vehemently opposed to making your bed (or there is a person still asleep in it!), pick another thing like cleaning up your room, cleaning out the sink, cleaning off your kitchen table, etc. as soon as you wake up to give yourself an early win. OR, just make your bed, take the win, and move on!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

But I’ll be damned if it’s not an actually important thing that falls by the wayside when life gets busy. And I imagine if you’re a mom or a dad, you have plenty of other people to care for, and caring for yourself is often at the bottom of the list.

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

But I’ll be damned if my teeth don’t feel great after a good floss. For whatever reason, flossing is something that I avoid, until I actually do it and realize “that wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I did that, I feel better.”

I like to think this primes my brain to tackle other undesirable tasks later on in the day. Flossing wasn’t bad, and I’m glad I did it. What about that other task I’ve been avoiding? I bet it’s not as bad as my dumb brain has built it up to be.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

WHY IT WORKS: They say dress for the role you want, not the one you have. And I don’t currently have a spacesuit. So I’m stuck with dressing like a more grown-up, put-together version of me. When I’m showered, shaved, shampooed, conditioned, and flossed, I just feel like a better human being worthy of some compassion and also a guy that can get things done.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

It’s a video I can put on that takes 5 minutes or less that makes me want to run through a brick wall. In lieu of a brick wall being readily available, it inspires me to start actually getting things done and getting closer to my goals.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

WHY IT WORKS: Motivation is a real thing. And when timed correctly, it can really help me get unstuck and get the ball rolling on a project or a good pump-up talk before hitting the gym. What I don’t do is force myself to watch 40 motivational videos and run out of time to exercise. This is neither productive nor helpful. And I know motivation wanes, so I use the motivation strategically to set myself up so that I don’t need motivation later.

Side note: please don’t get lost down a youtube rabbit hole—that’s how you end up watching 15 videos about baby goats. Not that this just happened to me. Have your go-to video that you watch and reminds you that you can get stuff done, and then go do it.

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

When life gets too busy, exercise is often the first thing to get thrown by the wayside. And I know that when I can’t get a workout in, I tend to eat like an idiot too, which makes things even worse.

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

I’m a big fan of the mentality: “do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” (Thanks, Teddy Roosevelt). And this protocol will allow you to diffuse bombs and apprehend fugitives snap out of a funk with a clear head and remind all the muscles in your body: “We’re doing fitness things today!”

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

WHY THIS WORKS: The 10-10-10 gets the blood circulating. It gets my muscle fibers firing. It gets my brain working. And that 10 minute walk can really clear my head. It allows me to get out of my head, stop worrying about the past and the future, and just focus on what I can do TODAY.

Unsurprisingly, I get my best ideas walking around, NOT sitting at my desk. And I know I’m not alone on that—this is borrowed from Steve Jobs, who held walking meetings instead of “sit in conference room” meetings.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

WHY THIS WORKS: When we get overwhelmed, it’s because our brains like to make Misty Mountains out of molehills. The “stuff” we have to do is nebulous, opaque, and scary. Until it gets broken down into steps.

And then it’s not so daunting. And once you can start to cross a thing or two off the list, or make meaningful progress on a project or activity, you come to the realization I come to every single time: I do have the time to do things. I need to say no to more things, I need to manage my time better, and the sooner I can get out of my head the faster I can be DONE.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

(Before you get offended at my self-talk here, I mean “idiot” in a joking, loving manner to remind myself that I’m probably overcomplicating things to the point of paralysis and I need to just slow way down. Feel free to use the term “nerf herder or “cotton-headed ninny muggins” instead.)

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

I’ve tried meditating for 20 minutes a day and kept it up for 60 days (I used Headspace, and I’m also a big fan of Calm). It was like herding cats, and it didn’t unlock the secrets of the cosmos. I did enjoy the Cosmos miniseries on Fox, but that doesn’t apply here.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

WHY THIS WORKS: I find big time value in reminding myself to breathe and just focus on the day I’m living. 5 minutes is enough for me to settle down and then I can go back to #5 (work on the very next step) of a project without being overwhelmed.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

In each of these instances, I’m an innocent bystander. Sure, video games are an active activity, but they can take over one’s life and contribute to overwhelm (I see you Fortnite), so I’ll put gaming in the “consumption” category.

If I’m overwhelmed, to borrow from Nate Green (who calls it “Nuclear Mode”), I recognize the things that are contributing to my overwhelm, especially the stuff that I can’t control—I see you political outrage on Facebook—and GET IT OUT OF MY LIFE.

I already don’t have any social media apps on my phone. I then use Freedom.to to block certain websites for the ENTIRE day. No more mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram. No tinfoil hat theories on Zero Hedge.

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

WHY THIS WORKS: Creating makes me happy, and it makes most humans happy. And yet, our default behavior is to consume because consuming is so much easier. So I remove the temptation of consumption by blocking sites and deleting apps, and emphasize creation—even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide..

https://ift.tt/2GBwV7u

[albertcaldwellne]

Overwhelmed? Here Are the 8 Things I Do to Get Unstuck.

“Why is my eye twitching?!”

It’s 5:45AM, and I’m lying in bed with my eyes closed. I’m exhausted because I managed to have one of my recurring nightmares the previous night where I dreamed my bed was covered in spiders—this happens once every few months, especially when I’m overtired.

It’s real enough to me that about 50% of the time I actually jump out of bed and run into the other room.

And yet, despite being sleep deprived, there’s no WAY I can go back to bed either. Because I have far too much on my mind. It looks something like this:

“ACK! I was supposed to call the dermatologist yesterday to schedule an appointment—it’s been on my to-do list for 10 days weighing me down and yet I can’t get myself to pick up the phone. Why am I so averse to talking to a human on a telephone? Just do it, idiot! Call them today at 9AM.

“Why the hell did I dream about spiders again last night? I have to write thousands of words today. And I have that awkward meeting planned stressing me out. OH **** I forgot to send my mom a mother’s day card! I did send her flowers. Is that enough? She loves cards. Can I express ship one in time? AHHHHH!

“Is that networking event I agreed to tonight or tomorrow night? Why did Past Steve commit Future Steve to that? I hate that guy! Wait, is today Wednesday? Sonofa, today is a training day at the gym too. Good luck finding time for that. Oh GOOD, I’m out of clean underwear. And the fridge is empty. And how do I have a pimple inside my nose? I would like to curl up into the fetal position and opt-out of all responsibilities today.”

They say depression is worrying about the past, while anxiety is worrying about the future.

Like many who read this site, I’m quite good at both of those things!

Even though I’m generally a happy person with a very positive outlook on life, life can get overwhelming at times and my brain likes to take over and shut everything down.

What the inside of my brain looks like: take my crazy stream of conscious above and read it in the style of slam poetry, while a Tasmanian devil plays the bongos with no discernible rhythm in the background. He then eats the bongo and starts Irish step dancing. Out of rhythm. While setting off fireworks.

The days where this happens are shitty.

And many shitty days in a row only seem to compound the problem.

I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t seem to make any progress on anything, and yet I know making progress on stuff is the fastest path for me to escape this maniacal prison my brain has trapped me in!

I am a logical, rational, scientific person, which means thinking through this logically, rationally, and scientifically makes sense to me.

And yet in those moments, emotions sit in the command chair and start calling the shots.

At this point, you are either nodding your head going “Steve, WTF are you talking about?” orrrrrr ”OMG I totally know what that feels like.”

I’ve been running Nerd Fitness for close to 10 years now. I’ve seen and heard it all, and been through some shit.

In that time, I’ve come to a few universal truths:

“Busy” and “overwhelm” are serious problems that don’t go away without a plan to tackle them. Having a Strategy Guide to deal with these scenarios can be huge.

Knowing that, I’ve created a personal checklist (yes, a real checklist) for myself of things I can do when I can’t seem to get out of my own head.

These ideas help me break through overwhelm—and get back to a more natural state where I can start making progress on tackling what I need to for the day.

And today, I want to share that personal checklist with you!

#1) GET AN EARLY WIN

For me, the best early win? Making my bed.

When I’m stuck in a rut, lying in bed, and faced with a daunting day ahead of me, I try to give myself a quick momentum-building win to start the day.

I learned this philosophy from William H. McRaven, retired US Navy Admiral and author of the book Make Your Bed: how you do the little things will impact how you do the big things. And by starting with a simple little thing, it can help me build momentum and show myself that I do have control and can affect the outcome of things.

Sure, I don’t make my bed with military precision (sorry Admiral!)—I simply pull the covers up as neatly as I can, I put the pillows on the bed and make sure it looks presentable. This takes less than 2 minutes and gives me a quick win before I’ve even left the room.

WHY IT WORKS: “Look, you already did a thing today. Today can be different. What’s next?” It’s an instant, quick, gratifying win that is the first action meant to build momentum.

Note: Comically, this is often the suggestion I get the most vitriol or controversy for. I’m going to ignore the argument of “this makes it easier for bed bugs Steve” or “I read that creative geniuses have messy beds and I’m unique and blah blah blah” or “nobody else sees my bed; why should I waste valuable time making it?” or “I get up early and my spouse is still asleep and thus I cannot make my bed.”

Okay, that last one is totally valid. I hear ya!

If you are vehemently opposed to making your bed (or there is a person still asleep in it!), pick another thing like cleaning up your room, cleaning out the sink, cleaning off your kitchen table, etc. as soon as you wake up to give yourself an early win. OR, just make your bed, take the win, and move on!

#2) QUICK HYGIENE FIX

At this point, I’ve already started off my day with a win in the bedroom.

Wait, that came out wrong.

Next up: self-care! This term is hot these days, like “bitcoin” and “avocado toast.”

But I’ll be damned if it’s not an actually important thing that falls by the wayside when life gets busy. And I imagine if you’re a mom or a dad, you have plenty of other people to care for, and caring for yourself is often at the bottom of the list.

And yet, a little bit of work can go a long way.

Although I work from a home office and often type these articles without pants on (too much? cool), I still find it to be incredibly valuable if I treat myself like an actual adult:

So I take a shower. I shave my face. I put on moisturizer that makes me smell like I have my act together. I actually comb my hair.

Oh, and the big one:

I floss.

Yes, I know you’re supposed to floss every day. I do not floss every day. As the late comedian Mitch Hedberg once said, “It’s as hard [to quit smoking] as it is to START flossing.”

RIP Mitch.

But I’ll be damned if my teeth don’t feel great after a good floss. For whatever reason, flossing is something that I avoid, until I actually do it and realize “that wasn’t so bad, I’m glad I did that, I feel better.”

I like to think this primes my brain to tackle other undesirable tasks later on in the day. Flossing wasn’t bad, and I’m glad I did it. What about that other task I’ve been avoiding? I bet it’s not as bad as my dumb brain has built it up to be.

That first tooth is always the hardest, but once I do one, I know it’s all downhill from there to do the rest of them.

WHY IT WORKS: They say dress for the role you want, not the one you have. And I don’t currently have a spacesuit. So I’m stuck with dressing like a more grown-up, put-together version of me. When I’m showered, shaved, shampooed, conditioned, and flossed, I just feel like a better human being worthy of some compassion and also a guy that can get things done.

Plus, I know flossing will avoid my nightmare scenario laid out here.

#3) WATCH A MOTIVATING YOUTUBE VIDEO

I have a love-hate relationship with motivation.

Mostly hate.

Motivation is a consistently flaky friend that shows up when things are good and abandons me when I need it most.

So I don’t let myself be victim to the ebbs and flows of motivation. Instead, I make motivation work for me, and use it to strategically get me out of my own way and back on track.

It’s a video I can put on that takes 5 minutes or less that makes me want to run through a brick wall. In lieu of a brick wall being readily available, it inspires me to start actually getting things done and getting closer to my goals.

So before I do any of the next steps, I often put on this SINGLE VIDEO:

WHY IT WORKS: Motivation is a real thing. And when timed correctly, it can really help me get unstuck and get the ball rolling on a project or a good pump-up talk before hitting the gym. What I don’t do is force myself to watch 40 motivational videos and run out of time to exercise. This is neither productive nor helpful. And I know motivation wanes, so I use the motivation strategically to set myself up so that I don’t need motivation later.

Side note: please don’t get lost down a youtube rabbit hole—that’s how you end up watching 15 videos about baby goats. Not that this just happened to me. Have your go-to video that you watch and reminds you that you can get stuff done, and then go do it.

#4) DO THE 10-10-10 PROTOCOL

When life gets too busy, exercise is often the first thing to get thrown by the wayside. And I know that when I can’t get a workout in, I tend to eat like an idiot too, which makes things even worse.

Which means when I’m overwhelmed and need a reminder that I’m a work in progress trying to level up my life, I do the 10-10-Protocol.

Why is it a Protocol and not a Workout? Because I’m the one writing, and I decided “protocol” made it sound way cooler and possibly makes it connected to espionage or Batman.

So what is the 10-10-10 Protocol?

Think of it like a system reboot for your body and brain:

10 push-ups

10 lunges

10-minute walk

I’m a big fan of the mentality: “do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” (Thanks, Teddy Roosevelt). And this protocol will allow you to diffuse bombs and apprehend fugitives snap out of a funk with a clear head and remind all the muscles in your body: “We’re doing fitness things today!”

This is a workout that can be done no matter what you’re wearing. It can be done in your cubicle. It can be done in a house with a mouse. Or in a box with a fox.

WHY THIS WORKS: The 10-10-10 gets the blood circulating. It gets my muscle fibers firing. It gets my brain working. And that 10 minute walk can really clear my head. It allows me to get out of my head, stop worrying about the past and the future, and just focus on what I can do TODAY.

Unsurprisingly, I get my best ideas walking around, NOT sitting at my desk. And I know I’m not alone on that—this is borrowed from Steve Jobs, who held walking meetings instead of “sit in conference room” meetings.

If you want to stop reading right now and initiate the 10-10-10 Protocol yourself, go for it.

#5) DO THE VERY NEXT THING

There’s nothing more frustrating than feeling so overwhelmed at all of the things that I’m trying to do and not being able to get anything done.

It makes me want to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and hide from my responsibilities. Or play victim and lament the fact that I have so much to do. Or complain that life is so busy.

I do all of those things for about 30 seconds. And then I realize:

Busy is a choice.

It might not be my fault, but it is my responsibility.

And then I do three things:

Get mad at Past Steve for saying yes to so many things.

Make a note to start saying no to way more stuff to protect Future Steve.

Write down on paper all of the crap I have to do.

Sometimes if I feel like I could use a win, I put “make my bed,” “floss,” and “10-10-10 Protocol” at the top of the list and then immediately cross them off.

Progress and momentum for the win!

Next, I try to number these things in order of importance if possible. I ask, “Which of these things can I do today that will actually make an impact on my life?”

Then, I ask: “Okay, I now have my most important priority. What’s the very next step I need to take on this particular item? Good. Now shut the hell up and do that thing.”

As you can tell, I have to have conversations with myself like I’m a 5-year-old.

WHY THIS WORKS: When we get overwhelmed, it’s because our brains like to make Misty Mountains out of molehills. The “stuff” we have to do is nebulous, opaque, and scary. Until it gets broken down into steps.

And then it’s not so daunting. And once you can start to cross a thing or two off the list, or make meaningful progress on a project or activity, you come to the realization I come to every single time: I do have the time to do things. I need to say no to more things, I need to manage my time better, and the sooner I can get out of my head the faster I can be DONE.

No joke: halfway through writing this article I finally called the dermatologist, and timed how long the process took.

It took 2 freakin’ minutes.

This is something that had been on my to-do list weighing on me for the past 10 days, and it took me 2 minutes to schedule the damn appointment!

#6) BREATHE, IDIOT!

The past: I can’t change it!

The future: It hasn’t happened yet!

Today is a pretty good day. And yet, I have NO problem spending all of my time worrying about tomorrow.

This is suboptimal.

So I force myself to “breathe, idiot!”

(Before you get offended at my self-talk here, I mean “idiot” in a joking, loving manner to remind myself that I’m probably overcomplicating things to the point of paralysis and I need to just slow way down. Feel free to use the term “nerf herder or “cotton-headed ninny muggins” instead.)

Cool? Cool.

5 minutes. I just sit there and focus on breathing. In, out. In, out. You get the point.

I’ve tried meditating for 20 minutes a day and kept it up for 60 days (I used Headspace, and I’m also a big fan of Calm). It was like herding cats, and it didn’t unlock the secrets of the cosmos. I did enjoy the Cosmos miniseries on Fox, but that doesn’t apply here.

But just taking 5 minutes to breathe can help me slowwwww way down and just get back to work.

WHY THIS WORKS: I find big time value in reminding myself to breathe and just focus on the day I’m living. 5 minutes is enough for me to settle down and then I can go back to #5 (work on the very next step) of a project without being overwhelmed.

#7) CONSUME LESS, PRODUCE MORE

Whenever I’m overwhelmed and feeling crappy, a look back at my previous week will always reveal one constant:

I consumed more than I created.

For starters, from a pure health perspective, when I consume more than I produce—meaning I eat more calories than I burn—it’s going to result in weight gain.

The whole reason we have survived as a species is due to us producing more than we consume! Saving for a rainy day, thinking beyond just TODAY, growing more crops to share with society, etc.

So let’s get back to this concept of too much consumption.

I look back at how much time I’ve been spending consuming:

Television

Video games

Social media

Outrage news stories

Takeout

Books

In each of these instances, I’m an innocent bystander. Sure, video games are an active activity, but they can take over one’s life and contribute to overwhelm (I see you Fortnite), so I’ll put gaming in the “consumption” category.

If I’m overwhelmed, to borrow from Nate Green (who calls it “Nuclear Mode”), I recognize the things that are contributing to my overwhelm, especially the stuff that I can’t control—I see you political outrage on Facebook—and GET IT OUT OF MY LIFE.

I already don’t have any social media apps on my phone. I then use Freedom.to to block certain websites for the ENTIRE day. No more mindlessly scrolling Facebook or Instagram. No tinfoil hat theories on Zero Hedge.

JUST GET THE STUFF DONE I NEED TO GET DONE.

And that means less consumption, more production and creation!

Writing and creating content, like this article

Playing music (violin, piano, guitar)

Cooking my own meal at home

Creating art, doodling, drawing

Creating conversation with friends

WHY THIS WORKS: Creating makes me happy, and it makes most humans happy. And yet, our default behavior is to consume because consuming is so much easier. So I remove the temptation of consumption by blocking sites and deleting apps, and emphasize creation—even if it’s just for a few minutes.

Who cares if what you create isn’t worthy of being recorded or published or hung in a museum. It’s not the end result, it’s the activity itself!

#8) ASK FOR HELP, TALK IT OUT

When I get stuck in my own head, it’s easy to feel like Chris in Get Out: trapped alone, swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Eeesh, that was dark, Steve.

It’s ALSO easy to tell myself: “Suck it up, Kamb! Other people would kill to be in your position! They have it WAY worse!”

And I have to remind myself that everybody is dealing with their own stuff, and just because others have problems doesn’t mean I can’t be allowed to deal with mine!

So I ask for help. Depending on what I’m struggling with, I’m not afraid to ask for help:

I might reach out to my dad or mentors for business advice.

I might call my mom just to tell her I miss her (moms love this).

I might text my online fitness coach to ask about how I can scale or change my workout schedule.

I might schedule a therapy session to help me manage all of this stuff!

I might reach out to a friend for relationship or friendship advice.

I avoided therapy for years until my friend Lindsay once told me: “Steve, fit people still go to the gym to exercise. There’s no shame in going to exercise your mind.”

We’ve written an ENTIRE article on a Beginner’s Guide..

https://ift.tt/2GBwV7u

[thetalkingbrain]

Dance prodigy wannabe.

Standing outside the dance studio, I felt exhilarated by the unknown. Those few moments before it all begins, where the outcomes are limitless. There was a strong chance I was going to look utterly ridiculous.  There was also this fantasy playing out in my head where I might actually be really fucking good at this. If this beginner to intermediate hip hop dance class required shoulder shimmies and a textbook executed stanky face, I was bound for glory.  But until the dancing started, I could only imagine what would happen next. So when the class began and the choreography ensued, I had the most thrilling 60 minutes of learning to let go.

After the first 10 minutes of class, our very passionate choreographer, Terry, cut the music and told us that “no matter what, when the music started we should be dancing.” Get our money’s worth. Doesn’t matter what it looks like, we chose to be here, so don’t hold back. So I tried, and with each swag-less dance move, I gained a little more rhythm. After each 8 count, I would turn to my friend Sarah and the other dancers who also chose to be in the back row. We’d lock eyes and share crooked smiles as confirmation that we were all in this together. At minute 10, I needed the affirmation from those around me to say, “We all look a little silly right?.” At minute 40 I started to realize, “who gives a fuck?”

I spend most of my time thinking I’m never doing enough. It feels like sometimes I’m so deep into my own life that I can’t see what I’ve even done or where I should be headed. When big life events happen to people around me - it’s my reflexive urge to believe that I should be on the same plane as them. I take a blinking glimpse of my own timeline for a moment and think, “It’s all wrong. Look where they are.” When you’re unsure of what you want, the idea of what’s next is so hard to envision and it becomes so overwhelming.

I signed up for this class for two reasons. Number one, please defer to the fantasy listed in the first paragraph regarding being a hip hop dance prodigy. And number two, I wanted to do something outside my comfort zone. It was an experiment, because honestly, I’m not even sure where my comfort zone is anymore and I’m not entirely sure when I’m stepping outside of it. There are moments when I’m fairly certain life is mainly uncomfortable. And the real secret is to actually seek out where you can step into the comfort zone. I want to be comfortably uncomfortable. Is this a thing?

And yet because I’m craving change in my life, I’ve been seeking out that free falling sensation that comes with making a decision but not necessarily knowing what comes next. I feel like right now I’m less so falling and more just incrementally dripping through molasses. And I know I want to be moving faster but I can’t. Like in a dream when you’re trying to run away from something or punch someone but your legs won’t move and when your fist hits the target it’s soft and weak.

I’m trying to relish this in-between feeling. Where it feels like nothing is happening and everything is happening. Be it with my job, with love, my friends, my family, myself - there is so much magnificent space to explore and to grow. There is also room to grow scared and let the uncertainty of what is next paralyze me. Sometimes it does. And then sometimes the space for exploration takes me to a new plane of how I connect with the world.

Near the end of the dance class, I’d started to really get a rhythm. It all felt so new, there was a real positive energy in the room and I just loved the sensation of everyone moving together. And while the music was still blaring before Terry reset the song, I turned to Sarah and screamed, “I feel so alive!” On the word “alive” the music cut out. By this point, I was on such an endorphin high, I was incapable of feeling embarrassed. Sweat dripping down my neck, hair sticking to my face, about to perform this 20 second dance routine with strangers and for strangers - I was alive. Very much alive. I was out of my element and I was certainly going to forget one of the moves. But I had a willingness to fail I haven’t felt in a while.

I feel stuck. And in trying to get unstuck, I try to envision all the paths I could take. Hypothesize what could have been or will be. All it takes is a decision, calculated or spontaneous, to set in motion a new path. Whether a person chooses steadiness or taking a leap, I want to allow myself to be inspired by others. While also acknowledging that there are times when it’s okay just to admire.

With an optimistic and melancholic acceptance I know that change is imminent. And there is a beauty in the impermanence of things. I am certain that I’m the first person to realize this. When I make my many “next decisions” in life and when decisions are thrust upon me, I will assuredly be filled with a multitude of doubts. And when that happens, I’ll remember catching the reflection of my sweaty red face in the mirror, in the final minute of class. I’ll share a crooked smile with myself that says, “we might look a little silly - but also, who gives a fuck?”

[lightofsveta]

40  top  rated self improvement podcasts in 2021

Self-improvement podcasts are an efficient and handy method to make positive changes. I have gathered numerous podcasts in this post, focusing on developing oneself and how to view life in a more positive manner. Whenever you need or want to, you may listen to it. There is an infinite quantity of stuff to listen to.

1.The Happiness Lab

The Happiness Lab's host, Dr. Laurie Santos, is a Yale Professor of Psychology. Although many of her episodes are aimed at improving the mental health of college students, her lectures on stress are relevant to anybody involved in the rat race known as society. The tone of the show, which is occasionally evocative of a TED Talk, is akin to that of the much-missed The Cut on Tuesdays. Dr. Santos understands how to deliver an enthralling speech. She offers a full tool kit in a style that will appeal to people who are skeptical of other types of "New Age" thinking, making ideas like meditation accessible to those who need it the most.

2.Life Kit

NPR's Life Kit series is important self-help listening, with a no-frills approach focused only on tried-and-true counsel. The podcast covers a wide range of subjects, from how to talk to kids about our tumultuous news cycle to how to find a mentor or get better sleep. I discovered Life Kit while waiting for the proper opportunity to inform my then-manager that I was leaving my job — and the country — in a couple of weeks. Timing was everything: if I started too soon, I could miss out on valuable training; if I started too late, I wouldn't be able to seamlessly transfer my successor. Procrastination web-surfing led to Life Kit's episode "Want to Quit Your Job? Here's How to Do It Properly" on my radar.

3.The Rich Roll Podcast

Rich Roll's commitment to long-distance running may be reflected in the speed and consistency with which he produces his podcasts, several of which are over two hours long. Roll, a 53-year-old plant-based ultramarathon runner, just hit the 500-episode milestone on his famous podcast. Roll provides a forum for scientists, athletes, and thinking leaders to discuss their perspectives in a conversational environment that strikes a mix between casual and rigorous. Roll is a fantastic interviewer, putting his guests at ease but never being afraid to challenge their opinions.

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4.Under the Skin with Russell Brand

Russell Brand’s development from promiscuous addict to spiritual guru is almost too bizarre to believe. His personal evolution was documented quite publicly, and it is perhaps because of this exposure that thousands have followed him into this new realm of “consciousness.” His experiences inform his discussions on the show, which feel intuitive and provoking in a way that appeals even to those who aren’t a fan of his political ventures. His recent conversation with Brené Brown is one of his best, the flow of their discussion revealing new elements to two personalities we thought we had figured out.

5.H.E.R Space

Hosted by Dr. Dominique Broussard and Terri Lomax, H.E.R Space intends to give women of color a resource to inspire them through conversation. An acronym for Healing, Empowerment, and Resilience, H.E.R addresses universal issues, such as one’s life purpose, through a lens of a particular experience. It’s a valuable and refreshing approach, as these existential topics often aren’t discussed alongside the nuances of gender or race. Broussard, who is a psychologist, and Lomax, who is a motivational speaker, make for an effective hosting duo. Their subjects range from the practical, such as the importance of assertiveness, to the magic of manifesting your dreams and goals. Listening to their weekly episodes feels like having a coffee with two highly successful friends, and I defy you to leave uninspired.

6.How To Fail With Elizabeth Day

Elizabeth Day’s How to Fail explores self-improvement through her interviewees’ worst moments, asking us to find lessons in our challenges. Her attempts to humanize the rich and successful work for the most part, although many of her guests overlook the benefits they’ve received coming from a privileged background. But the show offers an alternative look at career development, with Day’s experience in media giving it substance. Whenever I ask friends to recommend self-help podcasts, How to Fail is invariably mentioned. With an unexpected guest list and an approach that isn’t focused on self-aggrandizement, How to Fail’s success should come as no surprise.

7.Feel Better, Live More with Dr. Chatterjee

Dr. Rangan Chatterjee broke into the mainstream following the success of his bestselling books on stress and nutrition. What makes him effective as a podcaster is not merely his eloquence, but also his softer approach to interviewing. Where other hosts dictate into the microphone, Chatterjee questions everything, facilitating discussions with a unique mixture of scientific skepticism and New Age optimism. This style makes the topics he covers accessible to those at the beginning of their health journey, yet the discussions contain a depth that will attract even self-help veterans as well.

8.Routines & Ruts

If you’re the sort of person who looks for life inspiration by scrolling through Instagram, then Routines & Ruts will speak to you on an aesthetic level. But don’t let its cutesy imagery fool you; there is much of concrete value in this new self-help podcast. Host Madeleine Dore is the woman behind Extraordinary Routines, an interview project examining the everyday patterns of the creatively-inspired. On her website, Dore conducts experiments designed to test out concepts like “digital detoxing,” but her podcast is a platform to broadcast the conversations she has with writers, artists, and designers. It is a well-executed concept that is original enough to make the dull reality of other people’s daily routines intriguing. Dore acknowledges that different techniques work for different people.

9.Help Me Be Me

After listening to too many self improvement podcasts, you may find yourself disillusioned by the advice — because, let’s be real, not all of us feel will better after taking a cold shower. Help Me Be Me, a self-help podcast that doesn’t make unrealistic promises, knows how you feel. With over 150 episodes on topics like tackling shame and overcoming loneliness, Help Me Be Me believes that feeling overwhelmed by self-help advice can be alienating and risks driving you even further from the life changes you want to make. The show’s host, author Sarah May B., isn’t going to flatter your ego. In a recent episode on journaling, she tells us: “We all kind of know, deep down, when we’re resisting something, we’re resisting it because we already know the answer — and we don’t like it.” May B. pairs her opinions with tried and tested methods for dealing with feelings of sadness, stress, or lethargy. With talk of “accessing your truth” and cultivating “self-forgiveness,” Help Me Be Me might sound like those other self-help podcasts, but below the surface, the show is a toolkit of well-intentioned, gimmick-free advice.

10.For Procrastination

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…If that’s the tune that plays in your head when trying to complete a work, school, or home project, then you might be dealing with a bout of procrastination. Check out one of these podcasts to see if you can learn some new tricks that will help keep you on-track.

11.The Joy of Procrastination

What if procrastination could be reframed as a good trait that would allow you to accomplish more in life? That's precisely what Dean Jackson and Dan Sullivan aim for when they produce The Joy of Procrastination podcast. Jackson and Sullivan assist listeners in developing strategies for utilizing procrastination in a constructive manner by eliminating the guilt associated with procrastinating.

12.Beyond the To-Do List

If procrastination is keeping you from being productive, then Beyond the To-Do List is for you. Host, Erik Fisher talks with guests on all aspects of productivity in order to reach the end goal of living a meaningful life. In each episode, he takes a deep dive into why we are not meeting our goals at work and life and how we can implement productivity strategies to get unstuck and move forward.

13.For Anxiety or Depression

Anxiety and depression are the two most common mental health conditions in the United States, with anxiety impacting more than 40 million adults each year. Despite the sheer number of people living with mental health issues, it’s not uncommon for many of us to feel isolated and alone. To help feel more connected and less alone, consider listening to one of these self-help podcasts.

14.The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast

Dr. Robert Duff, a psychologist and the presenter of the Hardcore Self-Help Podcast, knows a thing or two about living with and treating mental health issues. He also knows how to address concerns regarding anxiety, depression, relationships, sex, perfectionism, PTSD, eating disorders, and a variety of other issues without making listeners decipher all the psychobabble and medical jargon. You can also depend on a weekly rendezvous with Duff the Psych because he goes live every Thursday.

15.Not Another Anxiety Show

“A podcast for all,” is how host Kelli Walker describes Not Another Anxiety Show. While not a mental health expert herself, Walker does an excellent job of interviewing psychologists, doctors, and other experts to give listeners guidance and practical tips on managing the day-to-day struggles that come with living with all ends of the anxiety spectrum.

16.For Eating Disorders

If you or someone you love is struggling with anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, body dysmorphic disorder, binge eating disorder, or any other specified or unspecified eating disorder, finding support and guidance is key to the recovery process. While these podcasts are not intended to take the place of therapy or any other medical interventions, they can provide support and encouragement as you work through the recovery process.

17.The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast

Licensed psychologist Dr. Janean Anderson not only knows how to treat eating disorders, but she also knows firsthand what it’s like to live with and recover from anorexia. Twice a month, she hosts The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast, where she covers the psychology of eating disorders, what the recovery process looks like, and how the cultural context of eating disorders impacts recovery. Through personal stories and insight from expert guests, Anderson helps listeners unpack and begin to understand the seriousness and complexity of eating disorders.

18.The Recovery Warrior Show

Think of The Recovery Warrior Show as your monthly dose of motivation and inspiration to help guide you through the recovery process from an eating disorder. Host Jessica Flint interviews eating disorder recovery warriors and treatment experts to get their take on how you can begin to heal your relationship with food and your body.

19.For Grieving

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but sometimes when you’re in the middle of tragedy, it can be downright challenging to put one foot in front of the other. Finding solace and support with people who understand what you’re going through is often one of the best ways to cope. If you need connection, check out these two podcasts dedicated to grieving.

20.Terrible, Thanks for Asking

Nora McInerny shares her personal stories of loss, and there are several, along with countless stories from others in her podcast Terrible, Thanks for Asking. Each episode, McInerny interviews guests and explores issues around emotions, trauma, loss, mental health, and finding community, hope, and happiness after grieving.

21.Grief Out Loud

Grief Out Loud tackles the challenges many people face when discussing grief with others. Hosted by Jana DeCristofaro, this podcast comes from The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Families, which specializes in grief and loss. Through expert tips from bereavement professionals and personal stories from the real people she interviews, DeCristofaro brings awareness to the importance of talking about grief.

22.For Making a Major Life Change

Making a major life change can be both exciting and stressful — and often at the same time. The good news? We’ve all waded through new territory and come out on the other side. That’s why these podcasts on major life changes are so inspiring.

23.What It Takes

We all know people that have “made it” in life, despite obstacles or major changes that might have prevented them from achieving their goals. What most of these people have in common is a desire to tackle major life changes with the mindset that growth will occur regardless of the outcome. What It Takes shares stories of perseverance from some of the most famous visionaries and leaders of all time.

24.The Tony Robbins Podcast

“Why live an ordinary life, when you can live an extraordinary one?” This is undoubtedly the most famous line from life and business strategist Tony Robbins. It’s also the foundation from which he has built The Tony Robbins Podcast, a weekly show that tackles major life changes related to business, health, finances, relationships, and more. Through interviews and stories from some of the most influential people in the world, Robbins gives listeners proven strategies and tactics for how to help live your best life.

25.For Forming New Habits

Breaking old habits and forming new ones can be challenging, especially if you’re not sure where to start. The good news is, you’re not alone. These podcasts will help you feel inspired to dive in and get things done.

26.The Habit Coach

If you need encouragement to make permanent changes in your life, then The Habit Coach With Ashdin Doctor is for you. Each episode is centered around tips and motivation that encourage you to create new habits that impact your daily life. Host Ashdin Doctor covers topics like nutrition, fitness, health, sleep, and productivity. And the best part? The majority of the episodes are less than 10-minutes long.

27.Tiny Leaps, Big Changes

Forming a new habit takes time. It also requires tiny leaps along the way, and no one knows that better than the host of Tiny Leaps, Big Changes, Gregg Clunis. This personal development podcast dives deep into the most common daily behaviors and looks at how those behaviors determine results, both positive and negative.

28.For Weight Control

When it comes to weight loss, it’s easy to get bombarded by the massive amount of information available at your fingertips. And with so many claims of fast fat loss and quick results, it can be challenging to find the truth and the motivation to lose weight and keep it off. That’s where podcasts come in to play.

29.Food Heaven

It takes both diet and exercise to lose weight and keep it off. Unfortunately, it’s the diet part of the equation many of us struggle with. The good news? Each Wednesday, you can get the most up-to-date information about all things food, health, and nutrition on the Food Heaven podcast. Co-hosts Wendy and Jess are both registered dietitians with master’s degrees in nutrition, and they are also BFFs who share a passion for helping people live a healthier life.

30.Cut the Fat

Cut the Fat podcast delivers science-based strategies and facts about weight loss along with a message of hope and motivation to help listeners find their own formula for weight loss. Co-hosts Dr. Ray Hinish, a pharmacist, and Blythe Wagner, a personal trainer, break down the complex and often conflicting information about fitness, fat loss, and wellbeing.

31.For Coping With Addiction Whether you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, finding ways to cope is a critical part of the recovery process. Podcasts can be a valuable tool to help you learn how to identify addiction issues, ask for help, find support, and connect with others during your recovery process.

32.Recovery Unscripted Recovery Unscripted, a podcast powered by Foundations Recovery Network, takes a deep dive into the most complex topics related to addiction and recovery. Through guest interviews with some of the most influential figures, like Glennon Doyle and Herschel Walker, and expert advice from clinicians, host David Condos takes listeners through the ins and outs of addiction treatment, mental health care, and recovery.

33.That Sober Guy When Shane Ramer got sober in 2013, he decided to share his story, along with many others, on his podcast, That Sober Guy. Relatable, real, and raw, Ramer gives listeners a glimpse into the world of addiction, alcoholism, recovery, and so much more. While his focus is on the person coping with or recovering from addiction, he also provides family and friends a place to get information, tips, and support.

34.For Improving Relationships We can all use a few tips and tricks to help improve the relationships in our life. From suggestions to help you get out of a relationship rut to tips on keeping the lines of communication free-flowing with your boss or co-workers, tuning in to one of these podcasts can help improve your relationships both in love and life.

35.Where Should We Begin When you don’t have time to go to couples counseling, why not bring the therapist to you? Where Should We Begin, the brainchild of relationship therapist Esther Perel, tackles complex issues many of us face with our partner including sexlessness, infertility, communication problems, infidelity, trauma, regret, roles, and so much more. And the best part? Each podcast features a different couple, so listeners get to be a part of a private therapy session as the couple shares the intimate details of their relationship.

36.Savage Lovecast When it comes to talking about sex, Dan Savage leaves nothing off the table. And we mean nothing! In his long-running, incredibly popular podcast, Savage Lovecast, Savage, answers the most intimate questions about love, sex, and relationships. Plus, listeners can call in their most-burning questions for Dan to answer in a later podcast.

37.For Spiritual Growth Spiritual growth is a journey unique to each of us. While each path may look different, connecting with your inner soul can help you find meaning and purpose in life. Discovering what is possible by working from within is the focus of these two podcasts about spiritual growth and self-discovery.

38.The Chasing Joy Podcast When Georgie Morley talks, people listen. Through her own struggles with an eating disorder, depression, and bipolar ll, Morley guides listeners as they take a look at their own spirituality on The Chasing Joy Podcast. She explores a new topic each week related to spirituality, wellness, and personal growth. Her hope? That you leave each episode feeling more joyful, energetic, and focused on your journey.

39.Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations If you need a weekly dose of inspiration and spiritual awakening, then Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcast is for you. With guests like spiritual pioneer Eckhart Tolle, Father Richard Rohr, Gretchen Rubin, and Brené Brown, Oprah takes listeners on a unique and purposeful journey of spiritual growth.

40.Design Your Dream Life

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Design Your Dream Life is all about the journey we all take in trying to attain fulfillment and contentment in our lives and careers.

Hosted by renowned personal growth writer and life coach Natalie Bacon, the podcast is both uplifting and inspiring to listen to.

After turning her back from a successful career in finance and law, Bacon transformed herself into one of the country’s premier life coaches; and helps women realize and reach their greatest life goals.

If you want a podcast that can help you change your mindset for the better, teaches you how to persevere through challenges, while allowing you to attain financial freedom doing the things you love, then Design Your Dream Life is a must-listen.

41.Bulletproof Radio

Dave Asprey is all about “biohacking” things that take a lifetime to do.

Personally referring to himself as a “biohacker” Asprey is a world-class public speaker, a best selling author, and the creator of Bulletproof Nutrition.

The concept behind Bulletproof Radio is to combine all of Asprey’s in-depth work towards hacking human biology for the purpose of achieving the apex of good health.

Each episode of Bulletproof Radio is an exploration of the question “What are the simplest things you can do to be better at everything?”

And in each show; Asprey tries to answer the question using the opinions and findings of experts around the world.

If you are the type of person that is health-conscious; this is one of those self-improvement podcasts that will definitely pique your interest.

A must-listen for anyone who wants to “upgrade” their life, mind, and body.

42.Optimal Living Daily

With a step-by-step approach to personal growth and development, host Justin Malik takes his listeners on an inspirational, motivational, and educational journey.

Listening to Justin Malik is educational, motivational, and inspiring.

His Optimal Living Daily podcast is a treasure trove of developmental and personal growth teachings.

And unlike some of his peers, Malik presents all of this in a way that is very easy to understand and apply.

Episodes revolve around topics like strength training, productivity, and minimalism to name a few.

With each episode only lasting around 10 minutes; it is quite surprising how Malik presents arguments in an enlightening manner.

43.Happier with Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, is on a mission. And that is to discover the solution to a question that many of us face on a daily basis: "How can we be happier?"

Happier with Gretchen Rubin is a book in which the renowned author offers her expertise and ideas on how and what she considers to be pure "happy."

Listening to her program, it is clear that Rubin is happy and pleased with her current situation.

And after a few episodes, you'll understand that all she wants is for you to be happy as well.

44.The Tony Robbins Podcast

A name that needs no introduction. The Tony Robbins Podcast is nothing more but an audio manifestation of the teachings and philosophy of one; if not the most recognizable name in the self-help industry around the world.

In typical Tony Robbins fashion, each episode is a deep dive into practical teachings about relationships, health, finance, and business.

With famous people like Wayne Gretzky, Serena Williams, and Bill Clinton singing his praises, it is no wonder that The Tony Robbins Podcast has amassed a very huge following.

If I was asked to personally pick and recommend one from all the self improvement podcasts out there, this has to be it.

45.Kwik Brain Podcast

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If you had the chance to be able to be really good at learning something; what would you choose?

Would you like to be great at learning Math, Languages, or maybe people’s personalities?

What about being ridiculously good at “learning”? Would that be something you would be interested in?

This is what Kwik Brain Podcast is all about; “meta-learning” or being good at “learning how to learn”.

Jim Kwik has established himself as an authority in this field. He has trained numerous company CEO’s and even played the role of consultant for some of the cast of the movie Dr. Strange.

If the idea of meta-learning is something that you’re curious about; I suggest you give the Kwik Brain Podcast a listen.

46.Unlocking Us

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Unlocking Us revolves around topics of vulnerability and shame to name a few.

Conceived and hosted by Brené Brown, the #1 New York Times bestselling author talks about her 20 years of research and experience with human psychology in a way that is unpolished, raw, and honest.

As far as self improvement podcasts go; Unlocking Us takes on a different route and forces its listener to reflect on the core of what does it actually means to be human.

The idea is that by being uncomfortable, realizations unfiltered, thus more honest.

I admit that the approach is not for everyone. But it is definitely refreshing and quite interesting.

47.Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu

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The Impact Theory podcasts revolve around the question of what are the secrets to success.

Hosted by co-founder of Quest Nutrition and globally known serial entrepreneur Tom Bilyeu; Impact Theory is all about Bilyeu discussing his philosophies and secrets to attaining success.

With the reputation Bilyeu has, it is no wonder as to why his podcast has played host to other notable industry names such as Vishen Lakhiani, Jim Kwik, and Peter Diamandis.

Each episode presents a diverse spread of methodologies and teachings around how to reach the pinnacle of success.

This is one of a handful of self improvement podcasts that can really keep you glued; and left wanting for more.

48.The Good Life Project

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The Good Life Project by Jonathan Fields takes its listeners on an explorative journey into real-world approaches on how to live a much better and fulfilling life.

With different guest teachers on each episode, Fields and his guests present real-world-tested systems that inject better meaning; and more love and connection into a person’s daily life.

And these guests are not your everyday people as well.

From the author of The 4-hour Workweek and Tools of the Titans, Tim Ferriss to professor and Buddhist philosopher Robert Thurman; each guest on the show provides a unique insight into personal development.

A great podcast to listen to for those that are looking for self improvement podcasts with a spiritual component to it.

49.The Lively Show

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Hosted by Jessica Lively, the podcast’s claim to fame is its rating by Inc. Magazine as the “#1 Podcast That All Female Entrepreneurs Should Listen To”.

Lively, a former business owner turned life coach, inspires, and uplifts her listeners to move away from a ‘hustle’ based mindset; teaching them to find balance between life and work.

Though self improvement podcasts are seen by many as nothing more than emotional porn wrapped in spirituality; Lively presents talking points that can actually make skeptics second guess their stand on things.

The Lively Show is intriguing as it is motivating.

And after listening to a few episodes; I’m certain that your general approach to life will be much clearer and with a more profound intent.

50.School of Greatness with Lewis Howes

The School of Greatness podcast, hosted by former pro athlete, lifestyle entrepreneur, world record holder, and New York Times bestselling book Lewis Howes, seeks to answer the question, "what makes individuals great?"

Howes attempts to discover a solution to the issue by engaging in thought-provoking talks with guests about how to demonstrate.

Each episode is a rich mine of philosophical information and enlightenment, featuring important thought leaders, world-class athletes, and forward-thinking business executives.

This is one of those self-improvement podcasts that not only helps you grow as a person but also feeds your creativity.

Anyway, that's my list of self-improvement podcasts.

I'm sure there are still a lot of things out there that I'm not aware of. So, if you think one of them should be in one of our future lists, please include a link to it in the cement area below.

[youdecode]

19 Will Power Strategies & Tips to recharge self discipline

Glad you have decided to uplevel your life by verging on the path of self-discipline.

By disciplining yourself, you are changing your whole lifestyle. I believe life’s too short to waste time.

Luckily there are a few small steps that you can start taking today. 

PS : Don’t forget to grab the freebie at the end of post, specially crafted for you  !

 1- Becoming unstuck

To get self-disciplined you have to forbid the entry of “stuckness” and it all starts with your mind.

Do you know why people remain unmotivated?

Because they allow themselves to remain in the loop of stuckness.

If they would not feel like doing something then instead of getting out of that feeling, they will knit their existence into it.

The mindset of “life is not honest” is normal.

And sometimes, you are forced to think that way.

But remember that this thinking should not take over your goals and your life.

Don’t allow it to make you remain stuck. Remember that you are not your problems but bigger than them.

 2- Imagining

 The best way of boosting your willpower is through the power of visualization.

This is an extremely useful tool that only successful people rightfully deploy.

I have been talking a lot about visualization for mindfully using the law of attraction.

If you need to manifest something in your life then begin by imagining.

Do not confuse this imagining by daydreaming. You are not a dreamer rather than a creator of your reality.

One of many quickest methods to enhance willpower is by making use of your creativeness.

Place yourself somewhere.

You need to do that.

Imagine yourself becoming the person whom you have always thought of becoming.

For developing stronger self-discipline in life, an ideal image of a perfect future should be carved into your subconscious mind.

Get out of the victim state through powerful imagination and create your dream reality.

Many people have trouble imagining their future selves. In that case, these things will surely help:

Try vision board (simply tear some pictures from the magazine which reminds you of your goal)

Meditate and sink into the perfect world

Play your favorite song into which could drive you into the imaginative world

3- Developing realistic targets

 To maintain your will power, you need to develop realistic goals.

I have been teaching to think big and at the same time of starting with small targets.

Eisha are you kidding me?

This may sound confusing but it is extremely powerful once you understand it. In the law of attraction, I teach to let your imagination run wild.

Go beyond the impossible but then “trust”. Know that you will have it one day or the other.

But at the same time, you need to recognize the small opportunities that the universe will be throwing your way. You need to then set the targets.

By setting small targets for so-called “impossible” goals, you will be training your mind.

Your mind will get that if you can achieve that smaller one, then larger ones are not as hard as you have thought.

Think big and start small.

A simple and effective trick is to set a measurable target.

Measurable targets are always time-framed.

Here Are Some Related Massively-Transformative Resources Which Will Ever Need.

56 Insane Benefits of Rising Early

4 Unbeleivably Powerful ways of Tackling Procrastination

8 Quick ways of finding your purpose in life

4- Concentrating on the pink elephant alternatives

 Find alternatives to pink elephants. Which element keeps you off your goal?

What is keeping you away from self-discipline? What weakens your will power?

The distractions.

You might have heard of the Pink elephant theory based on Fyodor Dostoevsky.

If I were to tell you that do not imagine an elephant in your head but do not visualize that color to be pink.

But you know what you will do?

Yes, you will exactly imagine a pink elephant.

Individuals are bound to think of the things which they are informed not to think of.

If you are trying to develop a will power to study then what are your distractions which you are not supposed to think of?

Netflix?

But you will exactly keep your mind preoccupied with it.

Similar is the case if you are trying to lose pounds.

You are not supposed to think of sodas and junkies but you will exactly keep dreaming about it.

So what is the solution?

Find alternatives. You need to replace what not to think of with fruitful substitutes.

If you are studying, force yourself to think of reviewing old assignments [yes, you will exactly think about it.]

For weight loss, think that you would think about the target areas which need weight reduction.

In short : distract the distractions

5- Constructing good habits

 To own a self-disciplined life, you need to construct great habits.

Your life will be in no time full of motivation if you will construct good habits.

Your habits are the assistant.

Maintaining willpower is not the story of passing the sea without a storm, rather it is about overcoming all such challenges.

So, to get past the storm you need to develop powerful habits.

What are some effective habits that you can adopt from today for a self-disciplined life?

Always remaining ahead of time for controlling stress

Becoming a morning lark to maximize your time

Become indifferent of what others will think

Become mindful of your eagerness

Train yourself

Eat a healthy, wholesome diet

6- Training yourself

 To strengthen your willpower and remain self-disciplined you need to train yourself.

By training yourself through different exercises you will be releasing comfortable hormones that would suppress the stress hormones.

If you are thinking of different ways of training yourself the go on for :

Jogging

Crunches

Biking

Strolling

Swimming

And this list will never end. The key is to look for a way of physically strengthening yourself.

By getting physically strong you will become mentally tough and self-disciplined.

7- Getting to know yourself 

You will never be able to develop a stronger will power without knowing your true self.

Bear in mind that sometimes we are trying to find the answers to the problems, whose answers exist within us.

So verge on a journey of self-discovery.

You need to rediscover your values so that they could become a pivotal point of guiding your will power.

The best approach which I take into practice is journaling.

I have been doing journaling for manifestation and for rediscovering.

Pitiful is the life that fails to uncover who you are.

Here are 1000+ journal prompts for rediscovering yourself.

Talk to yourself and get self-disciplined.

There is nothing to get overwhelmed by. You can simply take 5 to 10 minutes out each day for scripting.

8- Handling stress

 You will find your stress level increasing throughout the day.

Stress will be that invisible enemy that will threaten your will power at every stage. What will be the results?

An undisciplined life. You will get sunk into an emotional misery, sleep depletion, and poor diet. So what to do?

Find what works as your stress relievers.

Here are a few ideas:

Practice journaling techniques

Go for mindful meditation

Listen to charging-up songs

Grab a punching bag!

9- Getting extra sleep

 Many individuals deprive themselves of the necessity of sleep that is needed for the growing willpower and motivation.

Let’s get a little scientific here.

By getting sleep disadvantaged, you are impairing the prefrontal cortex.

What role does the prefrontal cortex play?

Well, this is in charge of growing your retention in discovering or studying apart from boosting the willpower.

Some tips:

Sleep no less than 6.5 hours, maximum of 8

Create a zen-like atmosphere – dim light to no light, no sound

Drink a cup of cherry juice

Take a heat to bathe to wake up with great vitality next morning

10- Determining the obstacles

 Prepare for the challenges and obstacles in advance.

You need to get hold of your life by foreseeing the obstacles.

Challenges are bound to strike so the wise option is to be well-prepared. If you will be prepared then the barriers will not harm you.

If you are wondering that in which domains you need to remain prepared then:

Your financial plan must be backed by one mean or the other

Your time. You need to be prepared that at any moment you can experience a lack of time thus how you manage your willpower going.

11- Reviewing your routine

 Self-discipline calls for the updated routine and that cannot be achieved by first getting the review.

You need to review and find what is going wrong.

Your life will remain stagnant if you will be caught up in the monotony of the old routine. Thus, to make your will power going you need to have a change.

Start by the modification process and that too little by little as you cannot change the routine completely in a day.

If you used to wake up at 8 then try 7 then 6 then 5 (yes, at 5. I wake up at five and it is a blessing)

Include journaling in the routine.

If you are not sure how to discipline yourself through journaling then I have written several blog posts.

12- Being mindful of the self-talk

 What you say to yourself directly affects the way you live. How so?

Well, if you are used to saying that

“I can’t do that . . . ” then there is a huge probability that you would not be able to do that.

Your self-talk is directly sinking into your subconscious mind.

Once your thought sinks into your subconscious mind they turn into belief.

And belief guides your life . . . it guides the action you take, it guides to miracles you attract.

So be mindful.

You can not have the strong will power of self-discipline if you will keep chattering about the impossibilities.

Do not limit yourself in any way thus replace your every negative suggestion with a positive one.

Even if you do not believe Or partially believe in the positive suggestion.

Even if you think that you would not be able to do . . . just repeat the affirmation that you can.

This repetition will change your life.

You will ultimately believe.

13- Making use of affirmations

 Talking about affirmations!

Most interesting topic as they have the capability of changing your whole lifestyle. Life is a bumpy road.

It will throw you down and force you to live. In such cases, you need to own power tools like affirmations.

This tool will make sure that you remain undamaged when life threatens to damage you.

Simply repeat the affirmations in the morning, throughout the day, and especially at night.

The key is to repeat with conviction.

Listed below are some examples. 1. This day is great, It will go great and I know it 2. No matter how time tests me, I will never quit. 3. I’m at peace with myself. 4. Life is simply beautiful. 5. I own the capability of achieving my goals

Please pin this family, for later reference

14- Getting aware about the selection

 Monitor your choices and see what is influencing your decision.

Which pivotal thoughts drive your actions, decisions, or choices.

This is extremely important in getting self-disciplined.

You need to review a thought before following it blindly else it will make you suck at self-management.

Don’t let your thoughts manage you.

If you have willed to make juice for yourself and ended up making an egg then see what influenced your will power.

15- Knowing your passion

 A self-disciplined life and a strong will power need persistence.

And one can never achieve persistence by an unknown driving passion.

You need to ask yourself your “why” else out of everything you do, several will remain incomplete.

You will find advanced willpower once you start taking pleasure in what you do!

16- Weeding out negativeness

 Your peace of mind can be destroyed as long as you have the poisonous energy surrounding you.

Thus, spend a good amount of time in identifying which act, and who is your energy drainer.

Don’t let your will power weaken. Remember every person to whom you tell your problems is not your friend.

Thus, effectively get them out of your life. Remember you are not obliged and you never were.

How to filter people?

Simply filter the people if they own the following attributes:

One will give negative feedback

One will make you feel down

Joke around about something related to you, without realizing the pain it causes

One who can never please or help you in any way when approached.

Did you get the idea? Great!

Journaling for success

17- Your Reward

To get going, you need a reward. So simply reward yourself and never expect someone else to do that for you.

You deserve your present . . .

With every small accomplished target, you can reward yourself . . .

it can be as simple as dining at your favorite place! Little things matter!

18- Calming Down

Sometimes simply learn to sit back and chill.

You do not have to put a strain on yourself.

Willpower is not about showing the world how much work you do. . . instead, it’s about managing everything in a balanced way.

It is about working, yet chilling and monitoring!

It is about living productively while not compromising on all the fun which life has to offer.

  19- Invest (Bonus)

If you truly want to achieve success then become a productivity powerhouse.

Let me tell you something :

I invested in myself for a better life. 

I have taken several audio books, best ebooks and courses.  

I loved the investments because when I see myself now:

I have just more time for everything. 

I used to rant that why God has just given 24 hours in a day. 

My to-do list always used to get shifted on the next day.

And most importantly I was compromising fun in my life.

If you are asking yourself that why you need to become more productive then the answer is :

Because you deserve success in your career, and health in your lovely relationships. 

If you want to live more intentionally then do check this productivity bundle.

Before you go know this secret:

 Lastly, do not forget to comment about which self discipline idea will you adopt in your life.  

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On Baby Changing Areas in a Men’s Bathroom — Curtis McHale

When my oldest daughter started to read on her own it took so much concentration. Every single word involved 120% of her attention. She’d start to sound out a word, get close and guess and then ask me because it wasn’t quite right. I’d tell her what word she was searching for and she’d go off on the next bit. About half way through her first page she was fed up, not because of the effort of reading though.

Whoa, this is a long post. Did you know that Members get it in PDF, and other eBook formats? They also get to join me for discussion on how to improve their business monthly and finally a monthly book group. You should become a member. You can also purchase Getting Unstuck on Amazon.

Sure the work was hard, but the frustrating part for her was that the story didn’t make any sense. The writing wasn’t bad and the story wasn’t over her head. It was a decent kid’s book for a 6-year-old. The problem was that with all of her attention focused on figuring out which word she was looking at, she had no attention to spare to piece the whole sentence together at once.

She couldn’t grasp the flow of the story because she was just barely getting the individual words.

This is where you start with any endeavor. The simple fact of getting the basics done is overwhelming. When I started teaching myself web development while getting my Counselling Degree I could barely get a site up and launched. It was all held together with duct tape and promises.

I couldn’t spare any time to dig into what it took to run an awesome business. I was hanging on praying it didn’t all fall apart around me. I didn’t have a client vetting process, or know how to do great client communication. This is normal. In fact, one of the reasons I suggest you work for an agency or web firm before you head out on your own is so that you can learn a bunch of the lessons while getting paid by someone else.

Then you have less skin in the game. The risk is lower. Once you’re out and running your own business, the risk is all yours. If you make a mistake, you pay the price.

I remember sitting at my screen in my early development days with no one to ask for help. I sat debugging for 8 hours and at the end of the day I still didn’t even know the right questions to ask.

I cried.

You don’t have to do that if you work for someone else to start.

Many people get stuck focusing on the craft of code, or design. They want to sit walled off all day and do that work, but running a business is much more than the specific item you’re selling. Thinking that your business is only about the code is like my 6-year-old spending all her concentration on the words in front of her, with nothing to spare for the bigger picture.

If you’re running a web development shop, or a web design shop, or a freelance writing agency, you are not actually in the business of design, code, or writing.

You’re in the business of sales. You need to know how to figure out the value that the client wants if you want to earn well.

You can’t sit and focus all the time on code like a Maker. You have Manager tasks to do that no one can do but you. I manage these two different types of tasks with The Mullet Method for Deep Work.

With The Mullet Method, I work 6 am – 9 am on Maker tasks. I focus without distraction. Then I take an hour or two off work and get back to it for another three hours where I allow some distractions to be around.

If marketing and sales and managing client relationships all sound like a terrible idea, then keep your job. Stay where you are and do your Maker work, with little worry about sales and management and hiring and billing. Not everyone is cut out to run their own business.

Don’t idealize running a business. It’s a lot of pain and hard work.

photo credit: kwl cc

What You Need To Learn to Run a Successful Freelance Business

You don’t have to stay stuck though. In fact, I assume you’re tired of being stuck and you’re looking to learn to do more than write code. You’re ready to stop focusing on just the design or the writing, and dig into how to run a business that earns well and leaves time for a life outside of working.

You want to start being not only a financial force at home, you want to be a great dad as well. Someone who has the time to build Lego with the kids while not being stressed the whole time about ‘work’ and how it’s going to happen.

You’re in luck then, because we’re going to cover the big areas you need to have a handle on if you want to build an amazing business.

First, we’ll dig into marketing and sales to help make sure that you have a handle on what it’s going to take to handle those well.

Second, we’ll look at what it means to run client relationships well. This is the part where you follow up with prospects and former clients to keep your pipeline full.

Third, we’ll discuss what it means to run a great client project. The tools don’t matter as much as the methods you use to approach the client and keep them in the loop.

Finally, we’ll dig into what it means to be personally productive. When you are on your own it all comes down to you. There is no other team member to jump in and pull you out of the fire. You are either productive and get the work done, or you aren’t. The only person you can blame is yourself.

Now, let’s get started with marketing and sales for the freelancer.

photo credit: clement127 cc

Marketing and Sales for Your Freelance Business

The first place you’ll need to start is to figure out which niche you’re going to serve. I’ve already written a whole book called Finding Your Niche and Marketing which addresses the specifics, so this will be an overview of the high points you better have covered to even be playing the right game.

Why You Need to Niche

Deciding to go for a niche is scary. When you’re starting it feels like you’re going to be saying no to so many prospects that your revenue will dry up.

Your butthole tightens up so hard that it could be played as a snare drum.

I get it. When you’re starting it’s hard to say no to anyone with money because you’re trying to make it all work with duct tape and string. It’s okay to start here. I started there and I haven’t talked to anyone that didn’t. If you want to raise your rates and move out of the barely holding it together financially mindset, you need to start working into a niche.

The thing about a niche, any niche, is that it lets you start to target your marketing. If you decide that you’re going to work with rural farmers, you don’t bother with all the possibilities that market to New York business people. When you’re “for everyone” it’s much harder to make that decision about where to target your marketing.

You’re much more likely to make an inch of progress in 1000 directions and thus gain little traction.

My friend Philip specializes in helping businesses…specialize. He has often said that he’d rather have you pick a niche at random then market to everyone. He’s had clients do this and start earning way more money. They also find out that the random industry has interesting problems to solve. Far from being bored, Philip’s clients dive deeper and enjoy the work with that random niche.

While I agree with Philip that any niche is better than no niche, with a bit of work we can do next, you don’t have to have a random niche. You can be more intentional so your niche builds a freelance business you enjoy.

How to Find a Niche

Let’s start by thinking about what you like to do. What problems do you enjoy solving for clients? Do you love to dive deep into bad code and figure out why it’s terrible and what it should do being so that you can extract a stable system out of it for your client?

Do you love building a basic beautiful and functional site for small businesses?

Are you in love with eCommerce and making more sales?

Each of these is a valid option for a niche, but they’re not an ending point. While you can gain more traction by focusing on eCommerce, you still have to compete against everyone that does eCommerce for any business. It’s even better if you can look to a specific industry.

Do you have a background in farming, or compete in horse jumping? I spent a decade guiding outdoor trips, then 5 years selling canoes and kayaks. This experience puts me in a perfect position to market my eCommerce skills to the outdoor industry and become the leading choice for anyone with an outdoor shop wanting to move into online sales.

Now, it’s time to ask yourself, what provides the most value to prospects out of the things you like. It’s likely that building a basic site for someone is of less value than building them an online store, or increasing their conversions. You need to choose something to work on that has decent interest for you and high value for potential clients.

The final money question to ask yourself as you pick a niche for your beginning freelance business is, who has money to pay for your services.

It’s easy to default to “Fortune 100” companies, but the truth is that along with the high fees you can charge these companies is huge headaches. You get to charge lots because of those headaches.

Instead, think about what scale the business needs to have to pay for your services. You don’t need hundreds of clients a year to build a six-figure business. Five clients with an average project of $20k is a six-figure business. The Fortune 1-million has plenty of money for you and a much larger pool with less headaches. Deal with a niche inside that Fortune 1-million.

Building Persona’s

With your nice defined, it’s time to dig into exactly who you’ll talk to in that niche. Again, you can’t assume you’re going to talk to everyone if you want solid traction. You must pick specific people to talk to and then tailor your marketing to them.

A persona is a named ‘person’ with some basic characteristics defined that you can speak to. As I write this I’m thinking of my “Bob” persona.

Bob has been running a freelance business for a few years. He has had some success, but is ready to start taking the whole thing seriously. He needs to get better processes together around marketing and his own focus time. He’s tired of working 12 hour days. That worked when he didn’t have kids, but he does have kids now and he wants to be a great dad. Phoning it in at dinner while being stressed about the next payment is not what he ever dreamed of.

He dreamed of being around to build cool stuff with his kids. He wanted to roll around on the floor with them and take them sledding in the winter on a random Monday.

That means that as I write this and I’m stuck I can ask myself “what would Bob need to know about this so that he can be more successful.” That question clears up any content blocks right away.

photo credit: clement127 cc

How Do You Build a Persona

If you have any experience in your niche at all, then you have some idea of the people that are around. Start there. My first personas were nothing more than a customer I’d met. I even used their name on the persona and then some bullet points about where they were in business and what the big problems they struggled with were.

Just like any niche is better than no niche, any persona is better than none.

If you’re trying to enter an entirely new market, then you need to start digging into it. Find the blogs, podcasts, forums, and Facebook Groups that serve the industry. As you do this, you’ll see a bunch of the same names pop up. Dig into them and start building your personas off these people.

Look at who they serve as customers and build your persona off your best guess for the customer they serve.

As you’re building persona’s aim for three. I have Brian, the person with a job that wants more freedom to be an awesome parent and is trying to start a freelance business. Bob, has started one and is needing to move it to a business instead of a shoestring and love endeavour. Finally Dave, has been doing 6-Figures consistently, but wants to do more either by building better systems or a team. Dave wants to be able to walk away for a few weeks and still have money coming in.

Each piece of content, each book, each podcast, each guest blog, is aimed at one of these three personas. Some content may be aimed at all three, say something on how to negotiate work and home time with their spouse.

Use Persona’s to Guide Your Content

Now, you’ve got some persona’s which means it’s time to use them in your business. While I don’t claim to be a daily blogger, it pretty much turns out that way. My aim is to have something for each persona in a week.

When I pick the content I’m writing I look at the three persona’s and shape the content to suit them. If I look at a week and only have stuff for that person that wants to run their own business, but isn’t doing it yet, then I look around for other content so that I can hit my other two persona’s. I don’t look at my site content every day. A monthly check in to make sure I’m hitting content relevant to each persona is enough.

Every single piece of content you put out should have these persona’s in mind. Every conference you speak at, should be shaped by these persona’s.

If you’re doing it all in a haphazard way, then you might hit the mark sometimes, maybe. More likely, you’ll scatter your marketing so far and wide that you never reach anyone effectively.

How to Get Your Name Out There

With your persona’s in place, it’s time to get your name out there because it’s possible that your niche has no idea you exist. In fact, it’s almost 100% guaranteed that most of your niche has no idea you exist.

Sure, some of the people in a market have considered you (and even rejected you). But most of the people in the market have never even heard of you. The market doesn’t have just one mind. Different people in the market are seeking different things. – The Dip

The first thing you’re going to have to get over is your fear of selling yourself. If you’re not selling yourself then no one is. There is no freelance god that blesses a beginning freelance business with goodness from the benevolent “awesomeness” of the universe so that it succeeds.

If your plan uses the word “hope” then you’re relying on this god, that doesn’t exist. Hope is not a strategy that’s going to get your beginning freelance business to the next level. It’s going to keep you going at the same barely hanging on level you’re currently at.

Now, let’s look at some of the specific methods you can use to get yourself out there. I’ve written about them in more detail in Finding and Marketing Your Niche, if you need to go deeper.

Blogging

The first place to start is your own site, and blogging on it. This is the place that you control in the easiest manner. If you build a Facebook Group and then Facebook decides that they hate groups and are killing them, your whole following is dead.

While search engines are getting better at reading content that’s not plain words, words are what they’re best at dealing with. Blogging, and being focused in your blogging, will help you get found by your ideal clients.

Start by writing one item a week. If that sounds crazy because writing is hard, you’ll get better. Maybe you need to set aside an hour a week to write and then publish something every other week. The more high quality content you put out there, the faster you’ll see traction from it.

The more you write the faster you get. I can write upwards of 5000 words in two hours, but I have written 5 books and at least 1500 blog posts. Probably more because I have at least 3 old sites that had lots on them which no longer exist. You can get here, it’s going to take a while, but you can get here. All you have to do is start, and then publish.

Once you’ve got a handle on getting content on your site, it’s time to think about guest posting. Strategic guest posting can yield awesome returns. I had one guest post earn me over $50k in a year because people kept reading it and feeling I was the expert they needed. The next year it earned around the same. While I didn’t get paid for the guest post, it was obviously worth the investment of time.

Another great avenue for your content is Medium. I’ve found that republishing my content on Medium, and getting it in a publication, has been a huge driver of traffic to my site. If you’re scared of guest posting and the extra time commitment it may take then start by republishing your content on Medium and trying to get it into a publication.

Podcasting

Podcasting is another great way to get your voice out there. It can be better than blogging because podcasting is a higher trust method of communication. Podcasting is higher trust because people can hear your voice and your mannerisms and they are more likely to trust you. The closer you can get to shaking someone’s hand the better.

In fact, podcasting is so good that I’ve see amazing returns from my podcasting endeavours. Especially when I get one someone else’s podcast. It’s so good that no other method of ‘guesting’ is even in the same league.

I have noticed over the last year that it is getting harder to get on podcasts as a guest. As a podcaster and blogger, I think this is because so many of the requests to get on my site or show are terrible. They’re some generic email I’ve seen a many times. They tell me why whatever the person wants to talk about is perfect for my audience.

It almost always shows that they haven’t even listened to my show or looked at my audience or what I like to talk about with my guests. It’s marketing people trying to get their clients on podcasts.

If you want to start getting on podcasts, then start by finding the most obscure and niche shows possible.

For creators, it is typically easier to reach the smaller, better-defined group. If you reach the smaller group and wow them, there will be many opportunities to spread outward and upward. – Perennial Seller 

If you’ve got your niche defined, and some solid persona’s then you can find these podcasts. Listen to them and figure out who they love to talk to and what they love to talk about. Then armed with this information, send a personal pitch telling them why you think you might fit with their guests.

This is a much slower method than the pump and dump method where you fire off the same email to everyone, but you’re much more likely to hear yes.

Networking

As I said already, the closer you can get to shaking someone’s hand, the more trust you’re going to build. It’s far too easy to sit behind your computer screen, sending off emails, and think that you’re doing an awesome job marketing your business. The fastest way to getting clients will always be getting out and shaking hands.

Now, I’m not saying that you need to go out to every crap marketing event that’s out there. You should be picking any networking event in light of your niche and your persona’s. Only go to the ones that fit in with those two filters.

When you head out to a networking event, go in with a clear plan. If you can get your hands on the guest list, identify a few people that you want to talk to and do a bit of research on their business. Then, walk up to them and talk to them.

Introduce yourself and ask more questions about their business. They’ve been to a bunch of these events and they’re used to the terrible superficial questions, so go deeper and stand out.

These are not the only methods you can use to get your name out in your industry. They’re the ones I’ve seen my coaching clients do and have the most success with. In some cases, that’s been because the other even more effective methods like public speaking are so terrifying that you need a foundation of networking to even consider speaking in front of people.

How to Evaluate Your Marketing Channels

Now that you have some marketing channels going, it’s time to evaluate them. It’s no good to continue to spend time doing outreach when it’s not working. The only place you always keep going is with your own blog or podcast. This is your hub, and no matter how small the audience, it’s the place that you send everyone who interacts with you from your other marketing channels.

Establish Your Goal

The first thing you need to do is establish which channels are hitting your goals. Years ago when Stumbleupon was a thing I had clients asking how to get on it so they could get a bunch of traffic. At no point did I ever recommend wasting their time on Stumbleupon.

The thing with Stumbleupon was that it sent a bunch of traffic, that went away immediately. Sure the traffic numbers looked great, but no one made a purchase and few people converted to email subscribers. It was only a cost since it would use your server cycles and provide no benefit.

You need to think about which metric is the important one for you to measure. Do you want more traffic, or do you want more email subscribers? Are you targeting people to your video course? If you don’t know what metric is most important for your site, then you have no way to measure the success of the marketing channels you are using.

You’ll also need a way to identify users from the different channels. Say you’re on 4 podcasts. Two do little, one sends a bunch of users, but that fourth one sends you 10 solid leads who made a purchase. Which one is the most valuable one? Which one should you be looking at harder to see why it worked best and how to find that audience, or an audience like it again?

You can do this by providing a custom landing page for each audience or a coupon code to use with the purchase.

Which Channels are Hitting the Goals

Now that you have a way to figure out which channels are providing the best conversions on your important metrics, you need to look at the information. Not every day. Not every week. Don’t worry about it for at least six months.

You wait six months because it’s going to take you a while to get the ball rolling. If you’re on a podcast, it may not come out for 4 weeks so checking to see if it’s converting before it’s even out is a waste of your time.

When you look at your metrics you should be trying to figure out a few things. First, which mediums are converting the best? Is it podcasting, or blogging, or speaking, or…? Stick with the ones that convert the best and drop the others.

Second, which blogs or podcast convert best inside their medium. Try to identify their audiences so that you can find more people that might match up, but would listen to or read a different site. Then you can target that site and have some relevant “experience” inside the field to point to when you make a pitch to them.

There is more to marketing your business. This is a primer for those of you what are already freelancing, but need to turn it that beginning freelance business into something that supports you and the life you want to live.

There is a bunch more reading if you’re ready to dig in deep to the topic of marketing your business. If you’re ready for that, check out my reading list on Marketing Your Business.

photo credit: activars cc

Managing Client Relationships in Your Freelance Business

Once you get more than a few prospects on the go, you need a way to keep following up with them. While you may think you had a great discussion and that the prospect will remember you forever, they won’t. Most prospects end up going with the freelancer they most recently came across.

Sure, you’re sort of on the list, but for every month you let go by without reaching out to them you’re further down the list.

This section is going to walk you through what it takes to get on a client’s list and stay on it.

One of the big pitfalls with businesses looking at a CRM is that they start with the tool in mind. Almost every time, the tool doesn’t matter. I use a paper notebook now, but have used a number of digital CRM tools.

The issue you run into by starting with a tool is that you don’t have a process worked out yet. Instead of developing a process for yourself that works, you outsource that hard thinking to the tool and just do what it says assuming that it will work for you.

This may bring a little bit of benefit, but you’ll gain so much more benefit by testing a process first, then looking at the tools that will fit into your process.

How To Do Amazing Prospect Follow Up with Your Freelance Business?

Let’s start with the basic rule that you should be following up more than you think. If you don’t feel a bit uncomfortable with the frequency of the follow up, then you’re not following up enough. I’m not saying that instead of every 3 months you should follow up daily, but for most cases 3 months is way too long to wait. It’s so long that you won’t even be on the prospect’s list anymore.

When a prospect first reaches out to you, you’ll need to follow up with them more often. If a prospect emails me on a Wednesday and I reply I assume I’m emailing them again on Tuesday. In fact, if I’ve emailed a prospect in a week and they’re not on my long term follow up plan yet (we’ll talk about that in a minute) then I email them on Tuesday.

Yes, I might email you on Friday and then on Tuesday to check in. If I don’t hear back from a prospect, then I’ll follow up weekly for four or five weeks. I always send them one final email that goes something like this.

Hey $prospect, hope the day is going awesome. I wanted to touch base because I haven’t heard back from you recently. I’m going to assume that you’re no longer doing the project so I won’t bug you weekly anymore. If that changes, let me know. Have an awesome day! Curtis

Almost every time I send that email I get some response back. Sometimes the prospect opens the conversation back up, and I reset to the four or five week follow up scheme. Sometimes they agree that the project isn’t on the radar right now for some reason, and they give me a timeframe for when it will be on the radar again.

I write their name down for follow up in that window again.

Occasionally I hear nothing from them so I put them on my long term follow up plan.

There are a number of prospects or clients that will fall into the long term follow up schedule. The first one we’ll address is the prospect above. Assuming that nothing in the project seemed crazy, I’ll follow up with them every two months for a year. Even if I never hear back from them in the year, I still send them a check in email every two months for a year.

If I don’t hear back from them in any fashion, I drop them off my list of follow up. More often than not I do hear back in some fashion at some point. When I hear back from them I simply reset the two week counter. If they’ve indicated that they want to move forward with the project now, they go back on the weekly follow up for the four or five emails. Then they’d drop back into the long term follow up plan.

The second group of people that fall into the long term follow up strategy are awesome clients I’d love to work with again. They get an email every two months pretty much forever. Oh I’m sure that some awesome clients have dropped off my list for one reason or another, but I don’t intend for it to happen.

Over my 10-years in business, I’ve had a number of clients end up coming back for a big project because I emailed them. It’s been 5-years since we’ve had any interaction outside of my emails, and maybe the odd reply, but because I’ve been consistent they come right to me with work.

There is no one else even in the running for the work.

If you want a business that will run well and generate leads for you regularly, you need to stay on top of this follow up. I’ll say it again later, but the biggest issue I see when I talk to small business owners about their prospect and client follow up strategy, is that they don’t put aside time in their week to do it.

Make sure you put time aside.

What Should My Client Follow Up Look Like?

Now, what should your client follow up look like? First, you need to write your follow up in a way that suits you. I’m a bit looser than some, but it works for me. I use their possible issues with my terrible jokes in email as a way to filter out the prospects I don’t want to become clients.

A general email to a prospect I’m following up with on either the long term or weekly schedule would follow the format below.

Hey $prospect, hope the day is going awesome. (Maybe insert some banter here) I wanted to touch base to see what the status of the project is on your end. Are you ready to move forward with it? Is there something else that you’re planning on doing instead? Do you have any questions or issues around your site that I can help on? Have an awesome day! Curtis

That’s it, in fact the long term follow up email for great clients only has one addition to the format above, and you can see it. Since I’ve got to know them as clients over a while already I may insert some question about them and their family.

One client I have worked with off and on for 5 years is a triathlete. I always insert a question about his training. He’s also been interested in my outdoor adventures so I’ll tell him about what we’re doing and what I’m training for next. I did this for two years after our first project before he started the next one and then for three years before the last one I worked on with him.

The first project we worked on was $5k. The other two were in excess of $20k.

Yes the continual emails for five years has been worth it. I’m still emailing him every two months asking him how things are going.

Now take 30 minutes and work out your follow up process. Write down the email templates you’re going to use. If you need help with writing better emails to clients, I wrote a guide on how to do that called Effective Client Email. It covers more than just your client follow up emails though. It will give you the emails I’ve honed over 10-years to make sure that I’m weeding out the prospects I don’t want as clients.

What Should my CRM System Look Like?

You should have a prospect and client follow up process written down now, but how do you keep track of it? This section will introduce what I do for my analogue CRM system, and what you should be looking for in a digital tool.

What Does My Analogue CRM Look Like for a Freelance Business?

I’ve tried a bunch of digital tools and I keep coming back to an analogue system. If you keep track of my site, I’ll be writing a long piece about how I use an analogue productivity system for everything but client projects that require collaboration.

My analogue CRM is fairly close to a standard Bullet Journal system. When I have a prospect that needs to get a follow up, I stick their name on the monthly planning page that goes with the month.

If that means they fall out of the current month, I add their name to the future log with a date next to their name.

Beside the name I’ll put a number like 4/5 which means that this email I’m sending is the 4th email out of the five emails I send. That way I know which standard email to use when I send the communication.

For a prospect on long term follow up we drop the number of emails and a date goes there showing me when I stop emailing them. If they respond, then the date gets adjusted.

One thing to remember is that you need enough information beside that name so that you have the context required to find their email in your email application. When I used to outsource finding a prospect to a CRM, more often than not I’d have no idea who I was going to be emailing because I had barely glanced at them instead of needing to spend some brain power figuring out who this was and what we had talked about.

If it’s an awesome client on long term follow up, I just write the name down with the date so that I can find their information. Sometimes I’ve seen some extra information about them on social media which I’ll add beside their name so I can bring it up.

That’s it. It’s not fancy and it requires writing things over and over again, but I find that to be a benefit. It means that I become more familiar with the prospect as I have to expend a bit of mental energy. It also means that I only put the top prospects on the list to follow up with. I don’t bother with all the random low value people that send inquires my way until they jump the first bars in my client vetting process.

What Do I Look For in a Digital CRM for my Beginning Freelance Business?

If you’re not going with an analogue system then the place to start is your process. I’ve already said this, but you need to have a system down. You at least need to have an ‘ideal’ you’re aiming for with follow up. Then you need to look at the available tools and choose one that fits with your process.

If you don’t have a basic system ready, then stop looking and do the personal work first. Write down the problems you’re having and what you think the solutions may be.

Some good options for a digital CRM, all of which I’ve used at different times are:

• Contactually • Streak • Pipedrive

I know there are many others out there, but those are the three I’ve spend at least a few months with that I found valuable. I spent the most time with Contactually at first, but found the extra inbox to track too much overhead so I stopped checking it. Then I worked with Streak which was built directly into my email. For some reason I just never fully “got” their system and while it was checked and followed up lots I still felt like it was a bunch of extra work to stay inside Streak.

Hence my analogue system.

The Biggest Pitfalls in Using a CRM in Your Freelance Business

The biggest issue when using a CRM in your freelance business is using it. Most freelancers hear about the benefits of using a CRM and then get a software recommendation for one and go with it. They use it for a few weeks and then it drops of the radar.

They’re still paying a monthly fee, but not using the CRM they picked. It’s an expense, bringing no benefit.

You won’t use your CRM well, if you don’t have time set aside for it in your week. In a standard 40 hour week, have two hours set aside for following up with prospects. Stick to those two hours. Guard them with your life, because a good follow up system is one of the keys to building a freelance business that succeeds.

A second pitfall with CRM’s and not using them is that they’re often outside of your personal productivity system and your project management system. They fall into the category of “out of site out of mind”. You forget about them.

When you’re choosing a system you must choose something that will integrate into your current productivity workflow in a manner that ensures you will use it.

I’ve chosen to use my paper planner for this. As I described, I follow a mostly Bullet Journal system and move prospect names forward in the future log or on a monthly collection depending on when I want to follow up with them. This means that I always need enough information written down to identify a prospect so I have to understand them and know them.

When I used OmniFocus I would end up with links to emails as tasks and I would use that ease of finding the conversation as a crutch. It meant I rarely understood the client and was rarely invested in moving forward with them. They were simply a name that came up that needed a reply. I’d end up reading through a bunch of email again every time so that I had some context.

By moving to an entirely paper system I must understand the client better. I must decided if they’re worth following up with because it’s a pain to continue to move them forward in the system. I can’t simply bump a date forward, making a promise on my future time, I must evaluate their chances of becoming a paying client as I write down their information again.

This system has resulted in a much smaller list of people that I consider prospects and put time into following up with. My win rate on those prospects is much higher though so it’s a net positive.

You can go deeper on Managing Client Relationships with my resource page.

photo credit: clement127 cc

Project Management For A Beginning Freelance Business

The worst way to manage a project is via email. If there is more than a single task to get done, never manage a project in email. Email is almost always only a list of what others think is important for you to do in a week. It rarely matches up with what is actually important for your week.

The answer to “What is the ONE Thing I can do today that will make the rest of my business easier or irrelevant” is almost never contained in your inbox.

By moving your current projects out into a trusted system that’s not email, and that’s not your personal productivity system, you get to filter your incoming requests. You not longer see a client, who has a current agreement with you, and a prospect, who you have no obligation to, in the same interface.

Prospects have no sway on your time. They’re someone that might maybe have something you’re interested in doing if it’s perfect.

What Process Should You Use for Project Management?

You’ve taken the first step and your projects are no longer being managed in your inbox, but what system do you use?

Do you go old-school and stick with a waterfall method?

Do you get right “up with the times” and go for Scrum or Agile?

Does it matter which method you use?

I’m going to fall on the side of saying that it doesn’t matter so much what method you use. They all have benefits, and drawbacks. I use something close to Agile. I work in short sprints with clients on a fairly well defined set of tasks and we ship them.

Regardless of which methodology you adopt, there are a few thing that you need to get right if you want to ship winning projects.

Project Success Page

The first task that should go in your project management system with a client is for them. You should be giving them a link to your project success page with the instructions that they read it and then resolve the task. What…you don’t have a project success page? Well let’s talk about what that is.

First, the whole goal of the page is to communicate information to your client so that they can help you have a successful project. It’s not about berating them, it’s about giving them the information they need.

Many clients will have never seen a page like this. They’ll realize that they make projects harder, and the never knew it. It’s likely that whoever they worked with just made comments about it behind their back instead of addressing the issues like an adult.

In your project success page include any information the client will need to have a winning project. Inform them what a good task looks like. That a task which includes three different action items is one that will probably have something missed.

Tell them not to email you, and make sure you provide another link to whichever project management software you use.

Have them decide on the single point of contact, and any other people that need to be in the project management system. The fewer the better, and there always needs to be one person on their end that is responsible for making sure their team gets stuff done.

You can look at my Project Success Page if you need to see one in action. One I added this, and asked clients to read it, my problems in project management went way down.

photo credit: clement127 cc

Get Something Up As Fast As Possible

Next, get something up for your client to see as fast as possible. When I’m building a WordPress theme, I’ll have as much of the homepage as possible done as fast as possible. Usually within a day or two.

One of the biggest fears that clients have is that you’re going to take their deposits and then flake out. It’s happened to them before. You’ve probably taken way longer than you thought on a project before, so that means you did it as well.

By getting something up quickly for them to see, you build trust. Then you can keep plugging away on the work at a slower pace, so long as you have progress to show regularly and you meet the dates that you’ve agreed upon.

How Often Do We Communicate?

Something that developers are especially good at is going into “mole mode”. They get involved in a project and just keep focused on it for weeks and end. They barely come up for air, and are getting lots of work done.

I get it, code is a Maker task and Maker’s need lots of time to do their work without interruption. But your client isn’t a Maker. They can’t look over your shoulder every few days to see what’s up.

They figure you’ve flaked out on them unless you keep them up to date. Keeping them up to date starts with a weekly phone call. Yes, you’re going to pick one day a week and use part of it to talk to your current clients and give them an update. I use Tuesday as my day.

But that’s not all you’re going to do. You’re going to update them as a comment in whichever PM system you use on Friday and Monday. On Friday, you’re going to give them a recap of how the week went and remind them what’s on the list for next week.

On Monday, you’re going to remind them again what’s on the list for the week and when they’ve booked their weekly check in. If you need to see a format for this communication then check out Effective Client Email. I provide the templates I use there.

This communication is on top of anything you do to update the project management system as you complete tasks. The Monday/Friday email and the call are the bare minimum you should be doing to communicate with your clients. It’s the least they expect, and it will be about 10000% more than they got from their last freelancer.

Avoiding Scope Creep In your Beginning Freelance Business

The final thing that kills a project is scope creep. That list of things that sound like they’re awesome and just get added to the list. Yes, some of them are good ideas, but the longer that list gets the less likely it is that you’ll launch the project.

When I setup a project I have four lists in Trello. They’re labelled:

This Week

Tasks

Future

Questions/Other

‘This Week’ is updated every Friday and has all the tasks that are going to be done in the next week long cycle. That means on Friday you need to look at your ‘Tasks’ list and decide what can reasonably get done in a week. Only those items go on the list.

This is not a list of the hopes and dreams you have for a week. It’s a list of wha you know you can get done. I’d rather see a smaller list that gets done than a big list that you finish 50% of. When your client see that 50% done list, they’re going to loose faith in you and the project.

The second list is all of the tasks that are in the project. I usually have them organized in the order I think they’ll need to be done in. On Friday, I survey the list and move ever any items that I plan on doing the next week.

Those two lists comprise the whole project that was estimated on. The other two lists should contain nothing that was originally agreed upon.

Next, the “Questions/Other” list. This is where your client puts any questions they have on the project or any other stuff that they enter. In general, clients shouldn’t be updating any of the other lists at all unless they’re responding to something I’ve asked them about or approving and resolving a task.

From the “Questions/Other” list I may move something into the “Tasks” if it is something that is included in the project, but needs to be spelled out better for the client. Most of the stuff that comes up here though ends up in the “Future” list.

The “Future” list is for everything that’s a great idea, but isn’t part of the current project. It’s where all the crazy ideas and nice-to-have things end up. They stay there until you’ve shipped the original project and then produced and estimated and been paid for the new items you’re going to work on.

Even if there is something that sounds like an amazing idea, it doesn’t go in to the current project if it can be helped at all. The more items you move from “Future” into the current project the less likely it is that your project will ever see the light of day.

Your job is to ship a successful project for your client which means you need to help reign them in so that the project is indeed successful. It’s your fault if they run wild with extra items and the project never launches.

photo credit: clement127 cc

What Good Project Management Tools Look Like

Now that we know what the highlights of running a good project are, we need to look at what you should be looking for in a project management tool. As much as I love and use analogue productivity, I don’t use an analogue system when it comes to managing my projects.

The biggest weakness of analogue systems is that they offer no way to collaborate with your clients. You need to share screenshots, videos, links, and comments all around the tasks that need to get done for the project. We know email is a terrible way to do this, and that an analogue system like a notebook doesn’t allow for any sharing.

So we turn to software.

Easy to Use

The first stopping point is that you and your clients need to find the system easy to use. For some, that may mean that basic Github tickets can work, for others Github is going to be way to complex.

Since you’re going to be in the PM system regularly, it’s important to find one with a nice spread of keyboard shortcuts. Sticking with the keyboard navigation will save you little bits of time all over. That adds up over the year and turns into a large time savings.

Make sure that there are some training videos for your system as well. You’ll need to provide links to them for your clients to use so that they can wrap their head around the system. If your client finds it hard to use the PM system, they won’t use it and you’ll be getting a whole bunch of emails you don’t want to see.

Has Some Templates

Another key in a good project management system is it’s ability to provide you with project templates. You’re likely going to do similar projects and a bunch of the tasks are going to be the same.

You want a system that doesn’t force you to type every little piece in every time. If you have to type in every task for every project, you’re going to forget stuff. Even if you have your own list in a separate application, you’ll forget to move something at some point and then since it’s not written down, it might as well never have happened.

Link to Tickets

One of the crucial parts of your personal productivity (which we’ll cover in a bit) is pulling the tasks out of the tickets and into your own system. You do this so that client updates don’t derail you.

Remember, we pulled out of email into a PM system to make sure that we didn’t get distracted a whole bunch by the emails that come in and don’t relate to the project. The notification inbox of your PM system can turn into the same thing, especially if you have multiple projects running.

You may have your time set aside for Project A, but Project B keeps pinging you and that draws you into answering things for Project B while Project A languishes.

This is why I think that links to tickets is crucial. Then you can take the link and put it in OmniFocus or 2Do or … whatever and work on the single ticket out of your personal system. Then, when you’re done you can click the ticket link and update the single item. Now, close the browser and get to the next task.

Organizing this way will let you get work done as you had planned. It will allow you to focus on the tasks at hand instead of getting derailed constantly.

Wait, I just referenced OmniFocus which is a digital tool and I said I don’t use them. I realize that I’m an outlier here and you’re most likely using Todoist or 2Do or…something. I’ll talk about the specifics of what I do shortly.

Doesn’t Always Interrupt You

One of the best features that BaseCamp introduced was the idea that you can ‘snooze’ your notifications. They allow you to set hours where you won’t get any notifications of any kind. Your boss can’t even change that setting for the company. This means that you can set the no distraction hours up for the whole day even, and never get interrupted.

Which ever system you use, you need to make sure that it can be silenced. Some of that will come from how you work with it. If you use the system I described above, then it’s going to be hard for anything to distract you because you’ve pulled the tasks out for the day and are focusing on them instead of whatever happens to come up.

That also assumes that you silence your phone and tablet and Amazon Echo notifications. All the space you’re building is a waste if you allow other notifications to jump into your life.

How to Integrate Your Project Management System and Personal Productivity

I’ve already provided you a workflow for updating your tasks if you’re using a digital task management system like 2Do or Todoist, but I don’t use either. My personal system is a notebook and mostly follows Bullet Journal.

So, how do I use that system to stay focused on the tasks at hand and then update Trello, which is my PM system of choice.

It Starts with Planning

For about a year before I went with an analogue system I did use the methods above with OmniFocus. I would pull out the ticket link and put in the detail required in OmniFocus so that I could work on a task.

The problem was, I didn’t always get the right information. Somewhere in the back of my head I relied on the link to the ticket for the information I needed. I kept finding that I hadn’t thought through what the task would take before I committed to doing it. That left me with bigger tasks than expected and a day that felt like it was always off the rails.

I still take a task out of Trello and put it in my notebook, but I have to write down a quick sketch of the task, and any conversation that happened around it so that I’m sure I know where it’s at. If there are screenshots that may go with it, I pull them out of Trello and drop them in a folder in my Downloads folder. I label that folder the same as the task I’m working on so that I know they go together. That title matches the Trello card.

Then, I get down to work and when I’m done and need to update the task I open the Trello macOS application and search for the card to update it.

This does take a bit of discipline because I have to ignore the little red bell that Trello shows me when there are updates, but I don’t find that to be a problem. The advantages that have come from pulling out the task, and making sure I understand it the night before I’m going to work on it far outweigh the small friction that results from not being able to click a link directly to the ticket.

For the most up to date reading on Managing Projects for a Freelance Business, see my reading list.

photo credit: clement127 cc

Personal Productivity in Your Freelance Business

Another component to having an awesome freelance business is getting down to the nitty gritty of getting work done. You can have the best PM system, the best CRM workflow and the best marketing, but if you’re not shipping projects to clients your business will suck.

You won’t be getting any referrals because you’re late all the time.

This is where personal productivity comes in. You need to have a good system, and the discipline to use it so that you can get work done for clients on time and on budget.

The first question that most people ask is some variation of “Should I use Getting Thinks Done or…”. They’re worried about the specific system and tools that they should be using.

Tools almost don’t matter, what matters is you and the process. Does the process fit how you work? Are you going to do it? Most of the systems around provide you with everything you need, if you do the work.

Let’s start by looking at some key concepts in personal productivity so that you can start this journey from the right frame of mind.

I’ll be writing much more about personal productivity coming in February, like 50k words more.

Key Concepts in Personal Productivity for Freelancers

Before you can dive into your personal productivity system there are a few things you need to get straight first. I’ll be covering these key items in short here, as I’ll be covering them in great depth in February.

If you don’t have a handle on these things, then it doesn’t matter what system you use. It will always suck and you’ll never get good work done.

First, you need to embrace constraints. I’ve already talked about how using a paper based system has forced me to better understand the tasks I need to do. The constraint of paper has also stopped me from making a bunch of commitments for ‘future Curtis’ that I can’t meet right now.

Second, you need to be solving a problem if you’re going to change. Most times the issue with a productivity system is you. You change from Todoist to 2Do and feel relief because you have made a bunch of commitments in the form of lists in Todoist. When you change you feel free to abandon those commitments which you never should have made in the first place. The problem is you and the next task manager you use will feel the same way in a bit.

Third, nothing is going to solve every problem. There are things that I don’t love about my paper solution but it has so many benefits that I just deal with the things that it doesn’t do well. The freedom it gives me far outweighs any drawbacks. Give up on finding the perfect system.

Fourth, you have to be willing to make decisions. All those crappy lists you hate, just delete them. Stop pushing it off on the future. Admit you’re not going to do it and leave it there.

Fifth, you need to work based on priority. Ask yourself every day “What is the single thing I can do today that will make the rest of my job easier or irrelevant?”. Then do that thing and be okay with sucking at other things.

Sixth, plan to the now. Just because you started an internal project 6-months ago doesn’t mean it’s the thing to do now. Don’t fall for the sunk cost fallacy. When you look at your goals every quarter, just do the ones that provide the most value now.

Seventh, write it down or it didn’t happen. If you’re not tracking your tasks then it didn’t happen. You won’t remember it and that can be a good thing because so often we write down crap that sits on our back and stops us from getting something awesome done.

Eight, manage based on energy. Not all of your day is equal. Sometimes you have the energy for hard tasks and sometimes you don’t. Make sure you schedule your ‘hard’ work in to the times that you have lots of energy. Brent Hammond and I had a great discussion about tasks and energy. I’ve also written more about managing your tasks based on energy in a bigger series on deep work.

Ninth, make sure that your environment is set up for focus. If you have a bunch of crap distracting you all the time then you won’t be doing awesome work. Set your phone and tablet up for the tasks they’re meant for. Set your laptop up for no distractions. Make sure your work environment is clean and clear.

Now, if you’ve got a handle on these things, you’re ready to start digging into personal productivity. If you don’t have those things dealt with, then no system is going to work for you.

You have too much crap in the way of getting good creative work done.

Which Personal Productivity System is Right for You?

While you may be looking for a specific tool recommendation, you won’t find that here. In February, I’ll walk you through what I do, but even that may not work for you. Most of the time, looking for a new tool is a waste of your time.

For most people, the problem with your current system isn’t the tools it’s you. You don’t do your weekly planning or your daily planning or review all your projects. You maybe make a task list for the day, but maybe not. You might default to email and what it thinks is important for you.

Then you wonder why you feel overwhelmed all the time, but you shouldn’t. You do it to yourself and the next tool you choose will have the same issues.

As you think about your personal productivity here are a few more rules to think about.

photo credit: curtismchale cc

As Few Pieces as Possible

A great system has as few pieces as possible to be productive. My system has a pocket notebook for on the go notes. A Bullet Journal from Leuchtturm1917 for my planning and task management day to day and finally Trello for my project collaboration.

There is nothing else that deals with any of the tasks I have day today.

I don’t have a CRM tool that’s stand alone anymore because it was an inbox I never checked and thus wasn’t getting any value out of. I moved my CRM into my notebook along side all the other tasks that I need to get done in a day.

One item I didn’t mention here is my other notebook, the one that only handles my notes on books. This is outside of my Bullet Journal because it’s got it’s own function. The only thing that goes there are notes on books and ideas for writing that are sparked by the reading I’m doing.

I like analogue systems because it entirely breaks me out of the possibility of anyone dictating what’s important in my day. Yes it makes more work because I have to take detailed notes on what needs to get done so that I don’t have to dive back into Trello or email, but planning is key to having a day that accomplishes something worthwhile.

Adapt it

Your system must also suit how you work. You can’t import my system and figure it’s going to rock your world. Maybe it will but not in a good way. Look at the ideas that come from other people and use what works for you. Throw out the rest.

I don’t use the Bullet Journal system by the letter. I don’t use GTD either, or Kanban or stuff from the 12 Week Year. I use a mash up of all those systems that works for me.

As you journey through building out your own personal productivity system, make sure you refer to the key principles in the last section. Make sure that you write down the problems you have and as you go looking at what others are doing, you import what looks like it might fix your problems and toss the rest.

Keep piloting change in your system. Your personal productivity system is not stagnant. Your work will change. You will change. Your system should change with you.

Review and Planning is Key

Out of all the systems out there, I think that the one common required piece is a review process. A good weekly review of everything you have on your plate is crucial to success. A plan for the week ahead and a daily review and replan in a key element in getting things done.

You can’t wing it and hope to have a bunch of great output. Winging it will mean that you continue to be stuck in the weeds trying to find your way out as you drown in your work.

You Must Create Space In Your Day to be Productive

If you want to get things done, you need space in your day. With a day that’s planned down to the minute with must do tasks, you’re never going to feel like you’re getting enough done.

One of those tasks will go longer and then all the other commitments you just made to yourself will stack up until you’re working late again and still not getting everything done.

The maximum percentage of your day that should have must do items is 60%. Anymore than that and you’re planning yourself into problems.

One of the key reasons that this happens to people is because they allow distractions to creep into their day. All your planning should surround the need to get focused amazing work done. With four hours of focus, you can get more done than most people can in eight hours.

You have to cut all the distractions to get that focus though and to do that you need to be familiar with the two modes of work.

photo credit: clement127 cc

You’re a Maker and a Manager

You’re both a Maker and a Manager. Makers need large blocks of time to do focused work. That’s writing, design, thinking, coding, or anything creative.

If you’re running a business, you’re a Maker and you need to make sure you have time aside to focus on the tasks that are important.

But, you’re also a Manager. You probably have to have sales calls and meetings with clients. You need to answer and respond to email and maybe even jump on social media to update some profiles and such.

The problem comes because most people go Manager first and Maker second. This is a problem because Manager tasks easily overflow into Maker tasks. Email always takes longer than you think, and it always brings up random crap that others think is important.

Instead, go for Mullet Productivity, Maker in the morning and Manager in the afternoon. When you plan your day, make sure you have the details needed so you don’t have to dip into the manager spaces in your work. Give yourself at least three hours of focused time to do your Maker work.

Then be open to Manager work in the afternoons when your brain is tired and has less energy to dive deep into big thinking tasks. I do this and I plan in a 2 – 3 hour break in between my two modes of work so that I can recharge my brain and have the energy required to dive into more work later.

You can’t be on for eight hours thinking hard about your work. You progressively make worse decisions and you can’t afford that. Give yourself a planned break in the day and when you’re working only work. Ignore distractions and focus on the most important tasks at hand.

Plan Space

Outside of planning your tasks out for the day, there are other items that need to get in your week. First, you need unplanned time every day to deal with the extra stuff that gets tossed your way. Second, you need rest so that you can focus. Finally, you need at least three hours a week dedicated to self-improvement.

No day is ideal. In fact while you may have an idea day plan, it will almost never happen. Kids will get sick. A client will have a legitimate emergency that you need to deal with. Your computer will crash and you’ll have to figure out why. If you pack your day hour by hour with tasks, you have no flex to deal with these things. Make sure you have a working hour every day that has nothing officially planned for it. Leave it for overflow so you can deal with what life throws at you.

Second, you need rest every day so that you can focus. Your schedule may not suit three hour chunks of rest between working blocks like mine does, but it certainly can support a 20 minute walk. If it doesn’t, your business is broken. Admit it and start the hard work to restructure it so you can have that walk every day.

Finally, a solid business means you have three hours every week to improve yourself. If you’re a developer, that’s not just looking at new code, that’s learning to run an amazing business. Same goes for designers or writers. You must be reading and learning about marketing your business, planning better, how to write better proposals. If you don’t have time every week to do that, then you’re on a long slow death spiral. You won’t be getting ahead like dream without the hard work required to be better in the fields that aren’t directly your work.

If you can build in this space, and stick to the processes required to have awesome personal productivity, you can get the work done you need to without needing 12 hours a day.

photo credit: ummwho cc

Are You Going to Build a Viable Freelance Business?

Now ask yourself, who are you?

Are you someone that just wants to focus on the craft of code?

Do you want to write, and hate marketing?

Who are you going to partner with to do the stuff you don’t like? Who is perfectly suited to filling in your gaps?

Back at the beginning of this, I said that you needed to figure out who you are. Are you willing to do the work needed to build a business? Are you going to admit you’re in sales and must address marketing in your week?

Are you only interested in writing code day in day out and want to deal with clients as little as possible?

One other option we didn’t go into if you just want to do your craft, is that you can find a partner. Someone that loves the sales and that you trust to take care of the things you don’t like.

If you’re not sure who you can tap on the shoulder, then start looking for them. Look with intention. Find someone that loves the parts you hate.

If even that step sounds like work you don’t want to do, get ready to fail. If you hate the marketing and selling of your business, then no one will be doing it for you.

If you struggle with client relationships and getting projects done on time, then you’ll have a dry well of referrals. Why would anyone refer work to you if you’re over budget and late all the time?

If you want to run a successful business, you’re in sales. You must get into the marketing tasks. You must plan time every week to get better at the tasks that aren’t directly a part of the work you sell.

You must have a plan each week to be focused on doing awesome work and you must stick to it. You must say no to the distractions that are around so that you can get awesome work done.

If you’re not going to do these things, go find a job and stick to what you love. There is no shame in that. It’s the right choice for some people. It might be the right choice for you, if you’re not willing to do the hard work it takes to run that business you dream of.

Have an awesome day!

Curtis

PS: If you’re looking to start filling in some of your holes, you should join my 8 Week Business BootCamp. It will help you set goals and build the processes you need to have a kick ass freelance business.

first photo credit: elstruthio cc

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[well-hidden-hot-mess]

current thoughts about the move/still being here vs. there

well someone didn’t time her ambien/melatonin very well last night and ended up falling asleep on her laptop right when she got to the important part of what she wanted to say. i wonder who that could be....  *face palm*

i feel overall better this morning but now i’m starting to question how much “better” i really feel. do i actually feel better or am i back into a more numb state where i just feel less so i think i feel better? i truly do want it to be that i feel better and even if i’m not sure try to tell myself that it is because deep down i do want to be happier. i know despite all my self depricating humor and sarcasm i am meant to be a happy person and try so fucking hard every day to “override” these feelings of being so down and blah and flat but 1. it’s exhausting and i’m only human 2. it’s not fun constantly having to fight your brain 24/7 it feels like especially since i’ve had to do this for so many years 3. i can only take so much before i just let it win because i don’t have anything left in me to fight with. i will admit i have been slipping with doing my morning affirmations and actively trying to replace negative thoughts lately but it’s extra hard to do when you feel so low down and don’t have the energy to do anything but just survive.

adding onto that is the fact that i feel just so stuck in so many areas of my life. i’m playing the waiting game with selling my place and moving to my happy place and there’s legitimately nothing i can do to make it go any faster so i just have to sit here and wait for someone to want to take it off my hands. this is one of those “onion” issues aka lots of layers to it.

i feel stuck and have no control over getting unstuck and as someone with control issues, that’s extra frustrating/anxiety inducing

it adds to my whole insecurity i guess about being subpar as a human because i should be able to afford to do this myself at my age and hate more than anything that i have to depend so much on my mom financially because of the job i used to love but not get paid enough at that has turned to a job i truly do hate and is a means to an end that still doesn’t pay me enough/doesn’t appreciate me so it’s like adding insult to injury. my job is a whole other issue that i’m sure we’ll get to soon enough because it has pretty much consumed my whole life (mostly my own fault but like i said we’ll get there soon)

i want to get a new job where i would earn more and feel more fulfilled at instead of being the “queen of remedial jobs” as tom bilyeau of quest nutrition said (that term really hit me hard during one of his youtube videos about his story and it’s been stuck in my brain ever since because of the accuracy) but i know i’m moving in a few months so why start something that i’m just going to have to quit like right as i get all settled in. plus most places aren’t going to hire me if they know i’m leaving in like 2-3 months max. plus do i really want to have to deal with showings/packing up my entire life/getting shit together to move while trying to learn a whole new job at the same time? no probably not. so this is a mindless thing i can do while i focus on the important stuff but at the same time it’s not like i’m doing anything right now to sell it other than just waiting so i’m like wtf do i do? i’m thinking of starting my PT certification again so it’ll give me something to keep my brain awake and feel like i’m being productive but can do while i’m at my current job and not get too overwhelmed. idk.

i feel like as long as i’m where i am now, i’m just in limbo and stuck which is making me feel more blah/flat and it’s like the longer i’m in limbo, the more blah i get and it just keeps snowballing until i’m at the current hot mess state i’m in now where i’m just like just keep your head down and deal with it until it’s time to jump into action but i’ve gotten too good at the “don’t think, don’t feel, just get through” thing that i just don’t feel anything anymore, hence the overwhelming numbness.

so as we can see, this move needs to happen like yesterday. plus since i was there a few weeks ago it just made the yearning to be there so much bigger and stronger and the hate for this place/anxiety to get the fuck out so much stronger that i’m like going insane counting the seconds until i can get out of here but even that’s a countdown with no end time as of right now so that’s SUPER fun *eye roll*. i had my whole trip typed out in this post but it was super long and a very different vibe than this post so it’ll be it’s own because it deserves it and i don’t want it to be tied to the negativity in this post. i know that’s weird but like i don’t want it to be tainted which i know makes zero sense but oh well, i do what i want *insert sassy girl emoji here*

i gotta tell ya, starting this blog was a great idea. as much as i loveeee hand writing out things, i just have so many thoughts going all at once that i want to get out by the time that i actually sit down to write them that my hand can’t move fast enough to get it all down and i end up missing so much and it takes so much longer that i never really feel like i have the time to get it all out but with this, it’s much easier and less time consuming. plus i can add to it from anywhere and don’t have to worry about carrying around a notebook with me that people can find or that i have to worry about having out at work. worst case, i just type it out on a word document and copy it over here later. brilliant. i have a feeling this is going to be a good tool for me to actually start dealing with my emotions rather than just numbing myself to them/the world because i really do want to be a happy, stable, sane person and this is step 1 towards that. i know it won’t be perfect all the time and it’s not a destination kinda journey but i think i’m finally at the place where i’m ready/able to make the changes to get on my way and to a more overall positive place. like i’ve been saying i need to see a therapist for so long and started with someone but stopped (another issue for another post) shortly after but felt so good during those sessions that i had someone’s undivided attention on me and would listen to me and cared about my problems instead of me trying to get other people in my life to do that and feeling like i’m putting my problems on them and all that other bullshit i tell myself. but like i don’t know if this is rock bottom or if that post i talked about in my last post about signs of being numb just like hit me THAT hard that it kinda woke me up to my own problems but idk, i just feel ready to try that again. plus now that i’m on a health insurance plan that actually covers things, i feel like it won’t cost an arm and a leg and won’t make my self imposed issues with being a financial burden that much worse. i even said it out loud last night to myself/my cat that i need to talk to someone and that’s a big step for me to not just think it and then sweep it under the rug but to actually say it out loud. now i know it was to my cat and not an actual person but hey, baby steps, i’ll take it.

just realized how all over this place this post is with my feelings. but hey at least it’s going from blah to positive and not sinking deeper into blahness, proof that so far this is helping. at least that’s what i’m telling myself but hey i ain’t even mad. okay i’m going to end this post because it’s already 8 million pages long and because i wanna keep working on the one about my trip because it’s making me happy to think about it. further proof that it’s where i’m meant to be when just thinking about it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside lol. k i’m done rambling now i swear... peace!

[brentrogers]

8 Common Patterns of Low Self-Esteem

“Forgive yourself for not knowing better at the time. Forgive yourself for giving away your power. Forgive yourself for past behaviors. Forgive yourself for the survival patterns and traits you picked up while enduring trauma. Forgive yourself for being who you needed to be.” ~ Audrey Kitching

You can try it all—exercise, a bubble bath, a relationship, a promotion, and everything else that you think will make you happy. I have come to learn those things will not give you the kind of happiness you desire until they coincide with you knowing your worth.

At my unhappiest times, my eyes were wide shut to the truth—I had low self-esteem. I never considered that the lingering feeling of being stuck was coming from a lack of self-worth. Instead, I thought if I could control what was going on outside, it would fix the inside. Believe me, I gave it my best shot.

I spent my latter twenties with a certain level of awareness that my needs were neither valued nor met. I was doing what I could to be as happy as possible, and yet I was haunted by the thought “this can’t be it.”

I was in a long-term relationship and would often find myself daydreaming about our breakup. The dream would come to a sudden halt, as I was clouded by the fear of being alone and never being loved again.

I spent that relationship feeling second best, putting his happiness above my own, longing for him to want me, and wondering if we ever fell in love. Ultimately, I buried the doubt and decided I was lucky. After all, as I knew all too well, it could be worse.

My relationships had always been full of drama. Pre and post said relationship, if a guy liked me, I would run away; I would come away from a date and complain that the smallest thing was wrong.

Then you have the guys that didn’t see me. As soon as I got wind that one was unavailable, he would become the whole meaning of my existence and I would be convinced he was the one, I loved him, he just couldn’t see how perfect we could be together. So I’d do every single cringey thing in the book to make him see that we were born for each other. This felt normal to me, and totally romantic.

When I did date someone I liked, it was all about fitting my life around them, and when it didn’t work out, I would find a way to blame myself and spend weeks considering what I woulda, shoulda, coulda done.

When it came to friends, if you could break down my wall, you were in. But I was (and sometimes still am) a bit on edge, convinced you will see through me. Convinced you don’t really like me, or I’ve said something to upset you. You probably wouldn’t know, because as far as you’re concerned, I’m strong and direct. I think that you think I’m stupid, inferior, or selfish.

I believed that in order to keep my friends, I had to be the best friend, convinced they wouldn’t stick around otherwise. Friends were allowed to be unreliable and make mistakes, but I didn’t allow myself that kind of flexibility. This way of living worked—my friends are actually good people, so it managed to go under my radar. Besides, I thought I was lucky they even liked me, given where I’ve come from.

If you’re not in my circle, it’s a bit tougher; it can be tough to get close. I’ve been told from first impression, it’s hard to know if I like you. I’m suspicious, closed, cold. One minute I can forgive easily, and the next I won’t. If you frighten me or challenge me, I can come at you with a sting.

The thing about dormant low self-esteem is you have become the master. As I walked through life, I was ‘okay.’ I had a pretty low bar when it came to happiness. Playing small, outstaying relationships, chasing people’s approval, wondering if people liked me, not taking risks; they all felt ordinary, and they all protected me from confirming my biggest fear: No one wants me.

My coping skills were doing the job, they kept me firmly in my comfort zone where I was safe.

You know what happens when you never leave your comfort zone? Life becomes mundane and sad, and leaving it becomes scarier and scarier. Yet the longing becomes stronger. You become stuck.

So how do you become unstuck?

Today, I wholeheartedly believe I am as worthy as my friends, family, and any man I ever have or will date. I make decisions, I share my opinion, I walk away, I let go, I take risks, I let people in, and I experience a level of happiness I didn’t even know was possible.

So how did the girl who ignored her inner turmoil transform her whole world?

I should confess, I didn’t suddenly wake up and realize my worth. Several years ago, my boyfriend ended our relationship and suddenly I was exposed to feelings the relationship had been covering up.

As life and luck would have it, around the same time, I was asked to deliver a workshop on self-esteem at work. That was to be my biggest eye opener of all. There I was, teaching people about self-esteem, and each session would set alarm bells off for me as it dawned on me: I did not know my worth.

It became obvious to me that up until this point, the happiness techniques (gratitude journals, fun plans, and exercise) I had tried so hard to implement were not enough with my own self-acceptance.

I started with relationships; that was where most of the anxiety and overthinking seemed to be coming from. I went for it—self-help, therapy, coaching, and any TED talk I could come across to help me understand why I was pulled toward people I knew I did not want or deserve.

I learned a lot about my why; when you grow up and the people around you are consistently inconsistent, you develop the same pattern in your own life. I didn’t experience secure attachments as a child. I experienced things not even fit for adults to experience; I was exposed to violence, drugs, and chaos. I adopted coping strategies to stay safe. Outside of the home, I pretended life was fine, and that was to become my greatest skill.

As I became more inquisitive and adopted more self-compassion, I was able to reflect on my life and identify the patterns that had been draining me and standing in the way of me being me.

I know now that shining a light on those patterns helped me during my hardest times. I understood that I was not alone, and that insight gave me the most powerful knowledge of all: I was not stuck, and I had the power to change.

To help you experience the same level of transformation, I am going to share common patterns of low self-esteem:

You are too afraid to take risks.

You play small, remaining firmly in your comfort zone. Perhaps when you consider making a change or trying something new, you are crippled by the fear of failing or what other people would think. You hardly consider you will be okay if other people judged you.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you often daydream about the change, but you don’t go much further than that. It’s a no to a new job, no to a new gym class, and forget going on your dream holiday alone. A lack of self-belief gives you an overwhelming feeling of not being able to cope and over-valuing the opinion of others.

You people-please.

You say yes too much and care more about other people’s needs than your own. Behaviors will include going out of your way to avoid conflict and doing things you don’t want to do in a bid to make other people happy.

When you have a fear of not being good enough, you will go above and beyond to make sure you are liked, often at the expense of your own well-being. Being kind is great, but that includes kindness toward you.

You see yourself as lucky or that you should be grateful.

You may well be settling for less than you deserve in life, love, and work. Niggly thoughts or feelings tell you that you deserve more, but you decide what you have is good enough. You might feel a constant longing for more—more love, more fun, more understanding… more.

Perhaps you keep yourself busy and pretend you only feel this way because you’re tired, or you find yourself with a lack of motivation and decide this will pass when you feel yourself again. When you don’t value yourself, you believe you don’t deserve more and could never have more.

You allow others to treat you poorly.

People say things and do things that leave you feeling worthless and unheard. Sometimes you might attempt to stand up for yourself and other times you pretend you don’t notice. You make excuses for their behavior, or you accept their excuses for how they treat you. You do know deep down something is off.

A significant sign here is that you spend time wishing people would show you more respect—yet you allow them to drop you and pick you up, cheat on you, put you second, dismiss your ideas and the rest. Other people treat you how you allow them; when you treat yourself poorly, others likely will too.

You get needy.

You have unhealthy patterns when it comes to trying to maintain certain areas of your life. You may know it’s not helping, but it feels out of your control.

Perhaps you want to look a certain way, you want work to stay the same, you prefer your friend to stay single, or you don’t want this person to leave you. It’s likely in these situations that anxiety is overpowering, and you become irrational at times—sulking, over-texting, ignoring, pushing and pulling, you try anything. Often in this situation, you take things personally and see change as a form of rejection, and you under-estimate your ability to be okay.

You do things you don’t want to do.

You behave in ways that are not aligned with your values and who you really are. You sleep with them too soon, you go places you don’t enjoy, you hide your real interests, you may even lie about what you want.

In some cases, you will know you’re doing these things, and sometimes you won’t name it, but you will come away from situations feeling like you have had all your joy sucked out of you. When you don’t appreciate yourself, you don’t consider that people will like you even when you have different interests.

You worry and overthink things you have said and done.

You spend large chunks of time worrying about what you’ve said and questioning if you’ve offended anyone. This may interrupt tasks that need to be done and steal happiness from your current moment.

At this point you might seek reassurance or misinterpret other people’s words and actions to mean they are upset with you. Convinced your friends no longer like you, or something you said puts people off you, you become obsessive about it. When you don’t love yourself, you find it hard to believe anyone else does and you hold onto a fear they will leave you.

You block people out easily.

You avoid letting people get too close. You might see the worst in people, judge them, or assume they will leave soon anyway. Maybe you cut ties if they say one thing you don’t like, or you list all the things you don’t like about them and decide the two of you do not fit.

You might say out loud you don’t care about not being liked or what other people think of you. Typically, you might avoid social get togethers, meeting new people, and second dates and find yourself jealous of your friends having other friends. If you don’t value yourself, you assume others will not value you, and so rather than risk being hurt, you just don’t let them in.

—

Looking back, the above patterns were some of the most prominent in my life. At the time, I didn’t give them the attention they deserved. Nobody pointed them out and they were a natural part of my day-to-day life.

As I came to realize my true worth, many positive shifts occurred unintentionally. The more you do things that make you feel good, the more attuned you become to the things that don’t. One small change can feel hugely powerful and have a beautiful ripple effect across your life.

If you are serious about having healthy, happy relationships then the first thing you can do is look at yourself. While relationship difficulties are inevitable, if you have healthy self-esteem, you’ll be able to face them feeling secure, knowing that no one person is more important than the other and for the most part, both of your needs deserve to be met.

The most important thing I’ve done is work on my relationship with myself. I’ve learned to love myself, accept myself, and get to know myself, and let me tell you, it has been a bumpy road with many trips and falls along the way. That’s the way it works.

If you have had enough of not feeling enough, it’s time to take notice. You don’t have to wait to hit rock bottom, you don’t have to wait another ten years. Start now, you deserve it.

This post courtesy of Tiny Buddha.

8 Common Patterns of Low Self-Esteem syndicated from

[mmoarsenal]

Darren Hardy – DarrenDaily Videos

Darren Hardy – DarrenDaily Videos

DarrenDaily is a global movement of 350,000+ high-achievers who are committed to #BetterEveryDay. These are unusually driven strivers who join Darren each morning to receive a specially created video packed with one BIG idea, delivered in under 5-minutes, that gives them a success advantage that day. Then day-by-day, 260 days a year, these small improvements compound into massive transformations and significant success. Each DarrenDaily message expires in 72 hours. About this collection I started collecting Darren Daily videos back in January 2017. Since then, I tried to recover unique videos from the program from previous years. Darren Daily began in 2014 as “Darren 260,” and from time to time, many videos were improved and repeated in later years. Here you have 264 unique videos from 2019. I collected every single video delivered from late January 2017 to January 2020. That collection has 765 videos, numbered from 1 to 765. List of videos (Darren Daily Ideas): 502 – How to Prepare for the Year Ahead 503 – AMA Staying Healthy While Traveling 504 – AMA Set Yourself Free 505 – 5 Day Challenge to Be the Exception 506 – Be the Exception Challenge Day 1 Cut the Bs 507 – Be the Exception Challenge Day 2 Cut the Fat 508 – Be the Exception Challenge Day 3 Best Investment Tip Ever 509 – Be the Exception Challenge Day 4 Cut the Fear 510 – Be the Exception Challenge Day 5 Your Fab 5 511 – Stop Quot Going With the Flow Quot 512 – 5 Ways to Reinvent Yourself 513 – Winning the Grudge Match 514 – A Tragic Story With a Powerful Lesson 515 – How to Get a New Perspective 516 – Be the Best Life Advice from Mlk 517 – Remembering What You Know 518 – Flush Your Dirty Mind 519 – 8 Terrible Ways to Respond to a Compliment 520 – How Change Really Happens 521 – Stop the Side Hustle Insanity 522 – The Most Productive Day of the Week 523 – AMA the Learning Glut 524 – A Better Approach to Your Health Resolution 525 – Stop the Self Delusion Happy Horse Pucky 526 – The Cave Syndrome 527 – Its Time for a Turning Point 528 – How to Make Things Easier On Yourself 529 – Why You Need to Slow Down 530 – The Greatest Trap You Face 531 – How to Make a Better First Impression (1 of 3) 532 – How to Make a Better First Impression (2 of 3) 533 – How to Make a Better First Impression (3 of 3) 534 – Lets Make Love 535 – Making a Tough Life Choice 536 – How to Really Live Authentically (1 of 2) 537 – How to Really Live Authentically (2 of 2) 538 – Stop Playing God 539 – Do Not Disturb Seriously Don’t 540 – How to Propel Your Life Forward 541 – AMA Upgrading Your Team (1 of 2) 542 – AMA Upgrading Your Team (2 of 2) 543 – 6 Ways to Be an Awesome Team Player (1 of 2) 544 – 6 Ways to Be an Awesome Team Player (2 of 2) 545 – Proof You Are Always Right 546 – Winners Never Quit Bs 547 – When to Quit 548 – When Not to Quit 549 – Reverse Engineering Your Success 550 – What Has Been Hindering Your Growth 551 – A Quantum Leap In Progress 552 – The all Powerful Alternative to Willpower 553 – Finally the Real Cure for What Ails You 554 – Lets Break the Web 555 – The Perfect Age to Make Your Fortune 556 – You Suck and Why Thats Okay 557 – What to Do When You Are Disrespected 558 – How to Make Magic Happen 559 – The Holy Trinity 560 – The Most Effective Amp Surprising Way to Avalue 561 – Success By Demand 562 – Reigniting Your Dreams 563 – Mistakes In Your Communication 564 – The Root Control Factor of Success 565 – The Actual Price of Success 566 – An Other World Success Ally 567 – Big Key to Making Tough Decisions 568 – You Are a Symbol 569 – How to Create Your Destiny 570 – Do This or End Up Fat Broke Amp Lonely 571 – A Little Fatherly Advice 572 – Plateaued 12 Questions to Level Up 573 – How to Find Your Lifes Paradise 574 – The Power In Your Words 575 – The Modern Gold Rush You In 576 – Is This the Death of America 577 – A Horror Story for Real 578 – Smack Me Upside the Head Please 579 – The Steve Jobs Mantra that Made Apple Better 580 – How Terrible Is the New Good 581 – The Details of Big Success 582 – AMA Are You Too Hard On Yourself 583 – A Silent Killer In Your Life 584 – The Hidden Difficulty With Success 585 – The Only Advice You Will Ever Need 586 – The 8 Hour Advantage 587 – How to Lift Others Up 588 – The Worst Leader In the World 589 – 3 Quick Ways to Start Every Day Better 590 – Why Go the Extra Mile 591 – Fail Fail Fail And… 592 – The Function of Dysfunction 593 – AMA Stop Being a Weirdo 594 – The Most Profound Perspective 595 – Leading With a Mothers Hand 596 – The Forging of Your Iron Will 597 – How to Become Blessed 598 – An Origin Story 599 – AMA Dealing With the Right Now World 600 – How to Be an Inspiration 601 – AMA Mining Gold from Greatness (1 of 3) 602 – AMA Mining Gold from Greatness (2 of 3) 603 – AMA Mining Gold from Greatness (3 of 3) 604 – When and How to Learn By Example 605 – Stop Being a Chicken 606 – Living the Life of an Adventurer 607 – Running for Your Life 608 – 90 Day Darrendaily Challenge 609 – When to Pump the Brakes 610 – The Mystery of Mastery 611 – The Summer Raven Run Begins 612 – The Secret to the Fountain of Youth 613 – AMA the Art of Being a Great Interviewer 614 – How to Become One of the Avengers (1 of 2) 615 – How to Become One of the Avengers (2 of 2) 616 – Being a Better Human Being 617 – Your Best Mentor Its Not Who You Think 618 – Help Your Future Self 619 – A Quick Way to Gain Back Your Time 620 – Getting People to Love You 621 – A Life Saving Idea 622 – When to Reinforce Your Culture When Amp How 623 – How to Get Lucky 624 – Staying Calm Under Pressure 625 – What to Do When You Get Smacked 626 – How to Produce More Time And Money 627 – Three Keys to Making Dough 628 – Stop Being Reasonable 629 – Why Acting Dumb Is Smart 630 – A Life Changing Lesson 631 – Gain a Competitive Advantage 632 – AMA a Telltale Frommr Padre 633 – What’s Blocking Your Success 634 – Your Independence Day 635 – How to Create Greatness 636 – Mastering the Money Shot 637 – AMA the Best Way to Break the Box Break the Box 638 – When Its Good to Be Scared 639 – Proven Formula for Problem Solving 640 – How to Build Momentum and Create Breakthroughs 641 – Increase Your Chances to Win 10 X 642 – The Quickest and Easiest Way to Break Free 643 – Your Guide to Learning to Learn Better 644 – What Everybody Ought to Know About Technology 645 – A Vital Lesson In Judgement 646 – My 2 X 2 Morning Routine (1 of 3) 647 – My 2 X 2 Morning Routine (2 of 3) 648 – My 2 X 2 Morning Routine (3 of 3) 649 – How To Turn The Mundane Into Wow the Unsexy Truth About Success 650 – The Success Disease 651 – How You Are Injuring the People Around You 652 – AMA Learning to Paint a Vision 653 – Being More Hardy 654 – A Startling Reality About Jerks 655 – What Extinguishes Your Fire 656 – AMA My Real Definition of Success (1 of 4) 657 – AMA My Real Definition of Success (2 of 4) 658 – AMA My Real Definition of Success (3 of 4) 659 – AMA My Real Definition of Success (4 of 4) 660 – Possessed By God 661 – Surviving the Valley of Death 662 – 5 Ways Your Bank Account Is Being Hacked 663 – One Way to Build a Powerful Legacy 664 – Focus Like a World Class Pitcher 665 – The Best Kind of Roi 666 – Three Keys to Long Term Success 667 – Who Do You Think You Are 668 – The Value of Ancient Wisdom 669 – How to Double Your Income 670 – A Life Changing Story 671 – Final Words of Wisdom 672 – An Elite Winning Strategy 673 – The Secret to Becoming World Class 674 – One Trait of all Successful People 675 – How to Be a Thief of Great Ideas 676 – Stop all the Work 677 – Are You Top of the Food Chain 678 – Dumping Overwhelm Restoring Sanity 679 – Instant Inoculation to 85 of all Illnesses 680 – Forever Eliminate Nervousness Worry Amp Fear 681 – Flipping the Switch to Your Passion 682 – Never Suffer from Fear Again 683 – Beware This Treacherous Enemy 684 – Why You Are Not More Successful 685 – What High Achievers Do On Saturdays 686 – What I Learned from Oprah 687 – Be Someones Hero 688 – A Productivity Super Tip 689 – Are You Sending the Wrong Message 690 – A Crucial Principle of Success 691 – Coming from Behind 692 – Two Lessons for Finishing Big 693 – Becoming the Greatest of all Time 694 – We all Need a Lil Help 695 – Live Better Than Rockefeller 696 – AMA How Smart Leaders Motivate 697 – Finding Exactly What You Want No Matter What 698 – How to Bring Out the Best In People 699 – A Grave Mistake We Continually Make 700 – Make Today Your Best Day 701 – Getting Unstuck (1 of 3) 702 – Getting Unstuck (2 of 3) 703 – Getting Unstuck (3 of 3) 704 – What’s Wrong With Other People 705 – An Intense Experience 706 – AMA One Behavior that Will Change Your Life 707 – Living Up to What You Believe 708 – How to Live Like a Boss 709 – Uprooting Your Bad Habits 710 – What’s Wrong With the World 711 – Do You Have What It Takes 712 – What To Do When You Screw Up 713 – The Goldmine You Are Overlooking 714 – What Makes You Valuable 715 – What Makes You Even More Valuable 716 – AMA Turning Ideas into Action 717 – The Biggest Lie You’ve Been Told 718 – You Need to Wait for It 719 – The Missing Piece In Your Puzzle 720 – Time Management Myth Busting 721 – The Pain of Having High Ambition 722 – Calculating When Enough… Is Enough 723 – Keep the Magic Alive 724 – Become Notorious 725 – Two Essential Lessons for Making More Money 726 – The Unsung Hero in Us All 1381 727 – It’s Not the Climb that Will Kill You 1383 728 – How to Lose Good Team Members 729 – The Price of Wisdom It’s Worth It 1384 730 – Regenerating Your Vitality 731 – A Ruthless Question 732 – AMA How to Say No to a Boss or a Bossy Client 733 – Here Is What Everyone Around You Is Thinking 734 – Success is Hard. Be Thankful 735 – A Strategy to Help You Free Flow 736 – The framework for Selling Success (1 o of 3) 737 – 3 Cs of Persuasive Communication (2 of 3) 738 – The Magic of Influence and Sales Persuasion (3 of 3) 739 – It’s a Beautiful Day, Take a Look 740 – A Dangerous Belief We Have to Abolish 741 – Get a Huge Advantage, NOW 742 – How to Achieve Your Max Potential 743 – Becoming more YOU, For Real 744 – The Big Life Questions 745 – One Way You Can Truly Be Happy 746 – Creating an Ownership Mindset 747 – How To Lead Top Talent 748 – Are You Qualified and Positioned for Success 749 – Someone’s Gonna Get Fired 750 – Warning, Holiday Danger Ahead 751 – Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is 752 – Let’s Fly, A Cautionary Tale 753 – For the Love of the Chase 754 – A Mother’s Secret Weapon 755 – Making Meaningful Memories 756 – Don’t Wish for What You Don’t Want 757 – How Miracles Happen 758 – A Fascinating Christmas 759 – How to Live a Rich Life 760 – Are You Playing to Win, Or to Not Lose 761 – What to Fight Fear With 762 – Get Ready to Kick Butt 763 – Preventing New Year’s Goals Failures 764 – How To Make Change Possible 765 – AMA What Scares Me

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[valerepoet]

Im overwhelmed with how much i love, LOVE Enderal. Its so good. Not perfect mind you, a product of the modding community at the time it came from, for absolute sure, but its just awesome.

The story line, the lore, the characters, The city of Ark, its all so, so compelling and well done.

Although, i do think i'll be sarcastic here and there about the hordes of enemies. One instance i didn't actually, truly, mind it, was in a Pyrean Memory. Made sense that LITERAL hordes of enemies were attacking you all by your lonesome. Challenging, but when you get through it, the feeling of accomplishment is great. And it fits the memory i think. It takes strstegy and knowing the land around you. There are things around the land to help you and you have to strategize and save OFTEN. Like, after you kill 2 or 3 enemies. And by gods, have a bunch of food or potions that'll heal you.

I was screaming at the screen and swearing up and down, but i enjoyed this challenge.

I desperately want to explore the world now and do everything. Even with the horde of enemies. They should have called the highwaymen the Horde. When i say that it was a product of the time, for the modding community, i really mean it. For a good few years, modders and mod makers grew more and more obsessed with ultra "realism", grim darkness, and extreme, extreme, challenge. So i think that influenced Enderal, leading us to having to fight the whole damn way through if we're not in the city.

By the way, have i mentioned just how much i Love Ark? Cause i love it. Its fantastically designed, and makes me feel that nostalgia for the Imperial City in Oblivion. But. Its more organic and its FULL of interesting people and traders and quests. Its so well designed. And its beautiful. I dont want to leave it cause theres so many interesting things i havent explored yet. Such a city of depth.

I also really love the characters. That voice actor they got for the Grandmaster? Perfect. He has such a compelling voice and he embodies the role well. I love Jespar's depth of character as well. This is my first playthrough, so i think i'll have my character romance him. Next time, i want to romance a LADY. I wonder if i can romance Lishari.

Although, Jespar did get stuck in some rocks on one of our missions. I was so frustrated, so i saved the game, then used psionic push on him until he was out of the rocks. Im happy he didnt go hostile. Got him unstuck and we were able to continue

And good fucking god, all the insane mind fuckery. It would make Sheogorath proud. I love the philosophical depth - and im usually the first to grumble at pseudo-deep philosophy. It presents really fascinating ideas and it dangles psychological torture right in from of you that you can't resist. The pacing of the story and its revelations are fantastic. Im truly amazed with the fact that they accomplished this on Skyrim's Engine.

I am starting to notice some weird issues though. Bugs or just weird choice in style i guess. Sometimes enemiee eill br completely invisible. And not as if they drank an invisibility potion sort of invisible, but the game juet wont load their physical appearance invisibility. But they still have a hitbox and you can still attack them. Half of the Pyrean Dream Horde was fucking invisible due to this bug. But i still got their asses.

And then the combat. Im not sure about it anymore. I feel like it has a major flaw - it almost seems turn based and... im not fond of that. It wont let me swing my sword half the time. But using the bow is fine. I wonder what system they're using, or if its a custom one.

I can really go on about this game but i'll just say this: it excites me. It captivates me and compels me to play it and learn its stories. I havent felt thst since i first started playing Skyrim. I love that feeling and im beyond happy with this game. I cant wait to play more.

The only reason i stopped playing is because i have to be at work at 8 am... and its 1:13 am right now. I need to sleep. But dammit, i just want to play Enderal.

So, goodnight - i'll prolly continue writing about my playthrough, but later.

[biofunmy]

How MacArthur ‘genius’ Lynda Barry is exploring brain creativity with true artists: Preschoolers

As an associate professor of interdisciplinary creativity at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, Barry is pushing the envelope on understanding how the brain creates and responds to words and pictures — a scholarly envelope that, in her mind, should be positively covered with illuminating doodles.

As part of her mission, Barry thinks preschoolers hold many secrets to creativity, before education and social expectations have trained their natural artistry out of them. Now, buoyed by the MacArthur windfall, Barry can plunge into this subject area more deeply.

“That’s something I’d like to do — to get literally on the floor with these 4-year-olds and spend a year at least just figuring out: What happens before writing and drawing split, and why did we split those things — and what happens when we do split them?” Barry said by phone while on tour for her new educational graphical book “Making Comics.” The book shares creativity exercises from her popular classes and workshops, which span campuses to prisons.

“The arts has a critical function for kids,” writes Barry, noting that we draw and act and sing and build things before anyone teaches us how to do so. “Everything we have come to call the arts,” she adds, “seems to be in almost every 3-year-old.”

Barry, who has already spent time observing pre-K classes on her Madison campus, isn’t looking to teach toddlers, but rather she thinks that researching their creative integration can benefit adults, who easily become too rigid, stratified and self-critical in their thinking. And one path back to unguarded creativity is making images without judgment or fear.

“The educational system really sees these things — words and pictures — as different,” Barry said. “And then the sad part is that writing becomes typing rather than using your hand.”

In “Making Comics,” Barry shares such classroom-tested exercises as “tandem drawing,” in which two people must each simultaneously draw one half of a picture, or closed-eye drawing, in which you have one minute to draw breakfast, or perhaps a mermaid, with only visualization sparking the mind. “They open their eyes a minute later and they’re always really happy. It’s not that the drawings are always that great, but something happened there,” Barry said. “They closed their eyes and saw something.”

Barry’s techniques — some of which she shared in a previous book, “Syllabus” — have helped non-artists and acclaimed cartoonists alike in becoming creatively unstuck and inspired.

“Most people stop drawing when they reach the age of 8 or so, because they couldn’t draw a nose or hands,” said Barry, 63. “The beautiful thing is that their drawing style is intact from that time. Those people, if you can get them past being freaked out, have the most interesting lines — and have a faster trajectory to making really original comics than people who have been drawing for a long, long time.”

Barry’s image-making exercises helped spur one of her graduate students, Ebony Flowers, to pursue art. Flowers recently published her first graphic novel, “Hot Comb.”

Together, Flowers and Barry are also working on a program called Drawbridge that pairs up grad students and preschoolers as “co-researchers.” Flowers said she is moved by Barry’s approach to teaching.

“Lynda has a knack for creating learning opportunities that push the boundaries of experimentation,” Flowers said. “This is why she participates in many different imaginative spaces and contributes valuably to what happens there. She works alongside leading scientists, facilitates lively workshops about art and literacy, and loves to draw with preschoolers.”

“I’ve collaborated with her during these and other projects,” the young artist continued, “and it’s always amazing to witness her profound and authentic curiosity.”

Barry created alt-weekly comics for decades, including the long-running strip “Ernie Pook’s Comeek,” before deciding to pursue a teaching career in a formal setting. What she learned while attending the Evergreen State College in Washington in the ’70s, especially from one teacher, Marilyn Frasca, continues to fuel her educational curiosity today about the power of image-making — a well of inspiration that never runs dry.

Barry combines such intellectual questing with an infectious spirit and lively sense of humor. One of her Evergreen classmates and longtime friends, “Simpsons” creator Matt Groening, was drawn to her unique presence from Day 1.

“Lynda can take the unlikeliest situation and amp it for everyone around her,” said Groening, who did a public talk with her in Los Angeles during the current tour. “I’ve seen her bring a stodgy outdoor wedding to life by getting the whole party, including the cranky sourpusses in the corner, to join a 50-yard-long conga line. I’ve seen her get a standing ovation in a crowded theater by singing with her mouth closed. And I’ve seen her belt out a song so sexily at a Japanese bar that they unplugged the karaoke machine.”

In Groening’s eyes, “Lynda is a joy to behold, and she makes it safe for anyone to join in her happiness — except the manager of the Japanese restaurant.”

Barry had a hard blue-collar upbringing in Seattle, and her parents, of Irish, Filipino and Norwegian descent, divorced during her middle-school years. She was drawn to warm comics that depicted family stability, such as “Family Circus,” as well as the kinetic line quality of some underground “comix” artists.

Barry herself creates comics and graphic novels, such as “One! Hundred! Demons!,” that contain brutally honest autobiographical elements. And her busy lines — once criticized as looking unschooled, she has said — now win major awards, including an Eisner Hall of Fame induction, for their idiosyncratic greatness.

And that pursuit of the most “alive” line — what she sees in the organic work of small children — infuses most everything she draws, teaches and tries to instill in others as they make their own creative discoveries.

“If you have fond memories of that one special teacher who noticed something promising about you, who encouraged you to take chances and be yourself, who took exuberant delight in your creativity, you can have that experience again with Lynda Barry,” Groening said.

And now, armed with the MacArthur money while on sabbatical, Barry is free to pursue so much educationally without distraction. “It is really overwhelming, just beautiful, like somebody handing you five years of life and saying: ‘Look here, what do you want to do?’ ” she said.

So now she can sit with the kids and, right beside the grad students, try to understand the brain on creativity.

“I know that there’s something big there,” Barry said with a laugh. “And to be able to have time to really research it makes me so happy.”

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