#just needed to vent a little. i'm in the middle of some of the worst pain ever and i'm having Some Strong Feelings

[lowcalwillow]

being disabled and having an eating disorder sucks. i do my very best to get my steps in, but some days the pain is too much and i can’t. that’s why seeing lazy able-bodied people really pisses me off. you’re telling me that you have a functional body and you’re just going to let it go to waste and become obese because “you don’t feel like working out”?? i would LITERALLY kill to have a body without constant pain. get off your ass and stop taking your blessings for granted!!!

[vinceaddams]

@mxbuster replied to your post “Being a part time alterations tailor may be a very...”:

Omg you are amazing. If you ever want to do a tutorial…….

​Sorry for the delay, I put the photos in a folder on my desktop and immediately forgot they existed.

Alrighty, here is how I shorten modern jacket sleeves.

First I should note that:

I work for a suit store that doesn't take very many outside alterations, meaning almost everything I alter is from the same few brands and I'm used to a specific construction. Other jackets from other brands may have different construction, but it shouldn't be too wildly different.

All the jackets I work on have false buttonholes, or none at all. If you've got one with functional buttonholes (statistically unlikely, but not impossible) you're kind of screwed, unless you need to shorten it by so much they'll all be turned to the inside.

The amount you need to shorten it by should already be marked on the sleeve, or you should have a measurement written down. The salesmen leave a little chalk line for me.

Start by cutting the buttons off. (Both this shop and my previous job use razor blades for this kind of thing, so I can only assume it's common in the professional tailoring world.)

Then turn the sleeve inside out. There will probably be a section on the lining seam where the 2 edges have been topstitched closed. Carefully pick this out with a seam ripper on both sleeves. If it doesn't have this, just open a section of the seam, but not too close to the end of the sleeve.

Often the sleeve lining will be tacked to the outer sleeve's seam allowance in a few places, and you can cut these if they're in the way.

Now you can easily pull out the threads that were holding the buttons on, and can remove the false buttonholes if there are any.

Most of the buttonholes on the jackets I do at work are chain stitch, which means they're easy to pull out quickly once you get one end loose and can un-chain them, but some of them aren't and take a lot longer. I especially hate the ones on the sport coats that have a little contrasting bar tack at the end, those ones are the WORST and take forever to pick off.

There's a seam holding the ends of the lining and outer fabric together. Cut it off.

On jackets with a particularly loose fabric there may be a bit of blindstitching around here holding the end up, same as there is inside a dress pants hem, and you should remove this first. It's big and loopy on the inside and you can find the end and pull on it to make it come apart, just like the string on a potato bag.

There's probably also a bit where the edge of the jacket sleeve is stuck in place with a bit of fusible tape, so pull that apart. Cut through the threads where the seam allowance is sewn to itself, and pick apart the seams that form the corners of the vent.

(I use the razor blade for this too, by pulling the 2 halves of the seam in opposite directions and cutting the threads in between, but you'll probably want to use a seam ripper.) Don't cut the top part of the seam on the vent though, that bit where the seam allowance juts out to provide extra material for the overlap should still be sewn shut, as you can see at the top of the photo below.

Turn the sleeve back right side out and mark the new line all the way around. At work I mainly use wax chalk which disappears as soon as you iron it, but regular chalk works too, it'll just take a bit more work to brush it all off after.

Press out all the creases from the old seams at the corners. (I have to be careful not to get steam on my wax lines, or else they'll disappear.)

Now press the end of the sleeve in and make the new crease. Sometimes I press out the old crease first, if it's far enough away from the marked line, but sometimes not.

I like to press both layers of sleeve at once in the middle, avoiding squishing the sides, and then I press each of those side bits using this little dense pillow thingy we have at work. It's kind of like a tailor's ham but small. You could easily make one and fill it with scraps, it's a useful thing to have. Make sure the overlap & underlap are facing the correct way.

I then straighten out the sleeve and see how the lining length looks. The end of the lining is usually quite wrinkled, so I press it first.

Here the lining is barely protruding, so I didn't trim anything off, but if there's more than about 1.5 cm sticking out past the sleeve then I'll trim that excess off.

Turning the sleeve back inside out, trim any excess off the folded up bit. I try to keep this bit about 4.5 cm wide, so this one just needed a little bit removed.

At this point you may want to add a bit more fusible interfacing to the button area, but it usually goes pretty far up, so I only do this if I'm shortening the sleeve by a LOT. (And if I'm shortening it by that much then there probably isn't enough overlap left to redo the vent.)

Now there should be creases showing where the new vent corners will be. On the underlap side I mark a little + right where I'll start sewing there.

And on the overlap side (the one with the mitred corner) I mark a diagonal x and then draw a line over the whole corner with a ruler, like so.

That is NOT your stitching line!!

This corner isn't perfectly square, it's a slightly wider angle. So when I fold that corner right sides together and match up the lines I start sewing from the tip of that marked line at the fold, but I veer off at a slight angle (in the direction of the seam allowance) and end about 4 mm out from it.

It's not very clear in the below picture, but you can hopefully see it.

Flip those 2 corners right side out, turn the whole sleeve right side out again, and press those corners nice and flat. I use the little sleeve pillow for this too.

Then you can pin the overlap shut just the way you want it to sit, turn it inside out again, and carefully re-pin it so the pin is on the inside, before removing the first pin.

(I actually skip this step and just pin it from the inside and go straight to the rest of the sewing up, and then press the corners after the lining is closed up, but I've done hundreds of these at this point so you'll probably want to do it this way.)

Sew the two halves of the vent together so that it'll stay closed. Just a tiny spot of backstitching on the seam allowances, like so.

Now you can match up the ends of the lining and outer sleeve and reattach them. I always start with the seam opposite the vent, since the vent side doesn't line up precisely.

I put them together like this, right side to right side, and pull those ends out through that opening in the lining before pinning it closed.

Then sew it, starting and finishing on either side of the vent.

There will likely be a small gap between the ends of the seam, since the vent is in the way, but this doesn't matter.

On the non vent side, clip into one of the seam allowances right below the seam.

Fold that seam allowance right sides together, keeping the rest of the sleeve out of the way, and sew it to itself. This is the same bit of stitching you removed earlier in the process, and it helps to keep the end of the sleeve from sagging.

If the seam allowances are too small or frayed you can also just turn it back right sides out and stick a bit of fusible tape in there.

Stuff everything back so that it's right sides out but the sleeve itself is still inside out, and redo that topstitching on the linings. (Or do it for the first time if there wasn't any. You may want to press the lining first if you don't have two nice creased edges.)

If this is your own personal nice jacket you might prefer to slipstitch it closed by hand, or to instead machine sew it closed from the inside and hand sew the lining back to the end of the sleeve, but I'm obviously not going to do that for my very low paying alterations job.

Turn the sleeve right sides out, sew the buttons back on, and you're done!

Nice mitred corner and all!

The first time I did this it took me over 2 hours because I didn't know what I was doing, but 5 years later I've got it down to about 45 minutes.

If the sleeve needs to be shortened by so much that there isn't enough overlap material left to redo the vent, then I just sew it shut and fold the whole thing up. I have to add new interfacing behind the buttons, as mentioned. For this I also need to turn it back right side out before I close up the lining, so I can stick the not-vent-anymore area to itself with some fusible tape.

Sometimes I have to lengthen sleeves, and for that the process is fairly similar, except of course I have to carefully unpick the seam at the end of the sleeve instead of cutting it off, and I sew an extra strip of fabric to the end. (I keep a box of cut off ends from some of the pants I've hemmed for this.)

For that you also need to use fusible tape for both seam ends, because when you've added an extra bit on you can't sew the seam allowance to itself. The amount you can lengthen a sleeve by is limited, since you need to make sure the new piece of material is entirely folded to the inside and out of view.

I hope this helps and makes sense!

[glitchtricks94]

TWST Guys Bringing You Home!: Heartslabyul Edition

Welcome to part one, I'm planning on writing all the dorms + Idia. Ortho will just be included with him, personally, since Ortho is too adorable to ever defile in any manner outside of being a cute little brother. Headcannons, headcannons, headcannons! Let's start this off with some cottoncandy fluff, shall we? Not gonna lie, I felt like a mom gushing about all her chaos children over tea writing this. I hope you enjoy these headcannons, and let me know your thoughts. I love interaction and would love to hold a conversation with you guys. Anyways, sit back, relax and have fun. -Glitchtricks Word count: 4k

Ace Trappola

Oh, this is such a delight to see. Little Ace is in love! Ace is super awkward and very defensive, and yet somehow little ol' you broke down all those walls of arrogance and faux confidence, such a special darling you are. So, how would he be if he decided to bring you home to meet his family?

Two words: Nervous. Wreck. Ace is a disaster before bringing you home to meet his brother and father; he's sweating, internally screaming, his anxiety is spiked, and you have to handle everything with your usual grace. Ace has some bad anxiety, which he confided that he coped with it by being all snarky with everyone, i.e. being a dick way too often. You didn't mind though, but you did gently encourage him to come to you if he felt too overwhelmed by everything, just in case he needed to vent. How sweet! There was a lot of texting back and forth, nights cuddling on your near dinosaur era furnishings of Ramshackle, and plenty of kisses on his temples, Ace had calmed down enough to not feel like an anchor was being dropped on his chest at the thought of bringing you home. He was ready to announce you as his to his family!

Oh dear, sweet Seven, he couldn't have predicted any of what happened... First, his brother decided to do the worst thing ever and brought up Ace's old view on dating and how his first girlfriend got ghosted. Ace wanted to die then and there, even being collared by Riddle was more tolerable than this hell... "Hey, (Y/N), you know my baby bro here had a gal before you, right?" "Oh? He did?" You said, your pretty eyes widening. "He's never mentioned her before..." "Dude, please, don't...!" Ace quietly pleaded, humiliation seeping in like a cold rain. "Yeah, he went out a few times with this one girl in middle school. She'd always go to amusement parks with him and stuff, topping it off with a Ferris wheel, but he ghosted her." Ace's brother continued, sipping on his tea. "And why's that?" You prodded, sipping your own tea as you shot a small glare at your boyfriend. You shared stories of your exes, but why didn't he? Did he not trust you? You didn't know whether you should feel hurt, or pissed. You chose to feel pissed. "Got bored, 'cording to him, she was just bland beyond her coffee tastes and liked a lot of stuff that just didn't click with him. She was pretty, but had as much depth as a piece of paper." The elder Trappola explained. "Her friends called him out for his shit, and he swore off dating, too much of a hassle in his opinion, so I'm surprised he decided to go out with you, much less bring you home." "I see." You hummed. Ace knew he was in the dog house and was now preparing to ask Sam if he sold flowers and romance stuff to try and make it up to you when you both got back to Night Raven.

Well, at least pop likes you! Can't wait to have you as an in-law! During dinner, Ace's dad smiled and chatted all about his boys, saying how proud he was of Ace for bringing home such a sweetheart like you! You ended up forgetting the upsetting conversation from earlier given how jovial Mr. Trappola was, he was like that one cool uncle that was trusted with looking after the baby, or that one cool barbeque dad your friends might have. Card tricks were shared, food was eaten and conversation was exchanged, if at a little of your boyfriend's expense. Funny stories were shared, like that one time he accidentally hit his brother in the groin with a bat as a kid when he came home for the holidays, or that time Ace got pranked by his dad with a classic; pouring soap on his head while he was rinsing out his own lather. "My hair was never as silky as it was after that." Ace laughed, starting to loosen up as he threw his arm around your shoulder. You leaned over and pecked his cheek, making both your faces bloom red as you both grinned happily. Overall, you're basically already known as the best in-law ever even before Ace put a ring on it. He's already planning how to ask a few years down the line, though~!

Deuce Spade

Another cute boy, who's mildly awkward when in love. Oh, how sweet! He took a lot of time learning how to properly approach you. didn't he? Deuce is beaming with pride having you on his arm, smiling that cute little boy smile he shows off when he's excited. He loves holding your hand in his as you stroll about the rose gardens of Heartslabyul. You knew he was close to his mom, having ditched his old delinquent days after hearing her crying on the phone to his grandmother, and he often talked about you to her, sometimes while you were sitting right there! Oh, how your cheeks reddened hearing him spout compliments about you to his mother. Both you and Deuce were arranging to meet his mom and grandma, in fact Deuce wanted to introduce you as soon as possible! You're one of the most important people in his life, so he wanted to share you with his familial circle asap. So, how does this all go?

Oh, honey, grandma practically fell in love with you on first sight. You met Deuce's grandma and mom at the same time, the two sitting at the dining room table in Ms. Spade's home, sipping away on their tea. It was a little awkward with Ms. Spade, but granny practically pounced on you when Deuce said you were his significant other. She was just smiling up at you, going on about how much of a cutie you were the whole while. It was quite nice, talking over tea, Deuce smiling happily as he had an arm respectfully wrapped around your waist. Needless to say, mom relaxed a bit seeing how her mother was reacting alongside her baby boy.

Deuce didn't know why he didn't expect the baby pictures to be brought out... Baby books, baby books and more baby books. You were surprised by the sheer amount that Deuce's mother loved to do scrapbooking, it was like there was a mountain of baby books from when your sweet card soldier was growing up! There had to be about six books sitting on the coffee table. Everyone had gathered into the living room after tea, Ms. Spade excitedly flitting about the place like a child on sugar, gathering all these books to stack, Deuce slowly turning red seeing his old baby books being yanked out again. You sat next to Deuce, holding his hand with your fingers interlaced. "Here's when Deuce was two, he always played with his food, he was such a messy baby!" Ms. Spade gushed, showing off a picture of baby Deuce smiling up at the camera; baby food was smeared all over his smiling face, his hands caked in the stuff and the bowl on his little head, his pretty jade colored orbs shimmering with joy. "His little smile is infectious!" You chirped, smiling warmly at the picture of your darling boyfriend. Deuce buried his head in your hair, hiding from his embarrassment.

Deuce felt like melting into your embrace at this point. You made his night. After a fun dinner filled with embarrassing stories from when Deuce was young, warm hearty laughter and sweet gazes exchanged with your boyfriend, the two of you settled into bed, you sneaking out of the guest room grandma insisted you stay in to steal some kisses and snuggles. You settled into Deuce's arms as he kissed your rosy cheeks, tangling your legs with his under the covers. Looking into his eyes, you've never seen him look so happy since he got an 86 on his history exam. "I love you so much, baby." Deuce whispered sweetly, your heart fluttering in your chest. "I love you too, honey." You replied, your own voice laced with the sugar of your love for the jade eyed boy. "I wanna say thanks for coming with me to meet my mom and grandmother, it meant a lot to me." "Deucey, it's no trouble!" You chirped softly, smiling up at your lover. "I'm just happy they like me." "They love you, you fit perfectly into the family!" Deuce laughed, his shoulders shaking. "It's honestly a relief that you get along, I was scared things would go wrong. But, I guess I panicked for nothing." The navy haired first year continued, turning to gaze at you with so, so much love. "You're perfect after all." Deuce was gonna be the death of you, he was always so sweet. You could mark this day as a sweet, sweet success: Your boyfriend was happy, grandma loves you, mom thinks you're perfect for her son, and everything felt like utter bliss. So, without saying another word, you sealed your night with Deuce with a kiss...~

Cater Diamond

Cater being in love honestly isn't surprising; being in love is such brand booster! Cute Magicam couples? Yes please! Being real though, Cater's honestly a major handful for you, because under that cheery "Caycay is gonna slayslay" vibe that the 3rd year carries, he's honestly a complete wreck and is terrified that you'll get tired of his anticks. Shocking how he and Azul aren't besties in that regard. However, he had no need to fear! The marvelous S/O was here to save the day: Cuddles, kisses, spicy ramen and at home spa treatments were being rapid fired from your heart to claim Cater's love and destroy his anxiety! So, with the day saved, you and your lovely boyfriend could be free to talk about a tough topic; when are you gonna meet his family? Cater ended up laughing at your question and told you to start packing your bag, he's going to talk Crowley into letting you have a weekend getaway! Even if he disliked his sisters!

Already he was regretting life... Cater's sisters immediately burst out to greet their baby brother after his mom called, and the first thing they do? Tell you that your shirt is super not cute and Cater should go buy you another one. "It's what a good boyfriend would do!" The eldest sister said, folding her arms over her chest. "Yeah! It's what our boyfriends did!" His other sister chimed in. Cater was here less than five seconds and already he felt like blowing a gasket... "But this is my favorite shirt. That I bought myself." You said, crossing your arms over your chest. "You don't get to tell me what to wear, so shush." "Way to stand up for yourself, honey bunny~!" Cater chirped, smiling at you as he led you inside with an arm around your waist. The ginger boy swore he fell even harder than when he first started dating you in that moment.

Cater was internally screaming at how his sisters acted and just wanted to go home. Oh, and mom didn't really like you, so there's that. The room was a bit tense as you sat and shared tea and some lightly burned pastries made by Cater's sisters. Cater himself was suffering the overly sweet baked goods and planned to just spend the after noon there. "So, how did you and my son meet?" Mrs. Diamond asked, eying you with a sharpened gaze. "Oh, I met him at Night Raven. My friend had gotten into a predicament and I ran into him while he was painting his dorm's roses!" You explained, a warm smile coming to your face as your boyfriend started to blush softly. "He was so cute and charming, still is, honestly." "Awww, babes, stop!" Cater giggled, nuzzling your cheek against his, making you laugh in turn. "I see." His mother huffed. The rest of the time was awkward to say the least.

You could tell your boyfriend could finally breathe after you left the house. Dad wasn't around that day, bit too busy with his banking job, so you didn't get to meet him; not that you really cared, Cater's sisters ruined a good chunk of the afternoon and made your poor honey work himself to the bone! Cater dropped the cheap, fake smile on his face when you both made it out of the house, his anger flaring up as he started muttering various rants under his breath. "Caycay, do you wanna get some lunch? There's a nice ramen place we could go to." You gently suggested, wanting to make your sweetheart feel better and ease his stresses. "It's that reaaally nice one you saw on Magicam the other day. The one that Vil praised" "That...That sounds wonderful honey bunny." Cater sighed, looking at you with a tired grin. Without much thought, you pressed a kiss to his cheek, making his heart flutter. So over lunch, you both came to terms that the fam might not dig on you, but that didn't matter to you or Cater. You had each other, and that's what mattered most to you two lovebirds.

Trey Clover

You have such a good man on your hands, even if he's a touch shy with his affections. When you first broached the topic of meeting his family, Trey was taken aback. He adored you to no end, and he could see a future with you, even if it'd be long distance for a few years, why hadn't he thought of showing you off to his family? "Of course I'll introduce you, darling." He said with a warm smile, leaning down to press a peck on your cheek, "How about we visit this upcoming weekend? I'm sure Riddle can hold it together long enough."

It was a really sweet reception when you showed up. Trey's parents were told about you ahead of time by their eldest, given how he's the responsible boy he is, so you were greeted by a small banner and a custom cupcake in your favorite flavors. The banner that was hung read "welcome home!" in bold, glittering rainbow letters; it tickled you pink! You felt at home already when Trey walked you up to the bakery, and the feeling intensified when his little siblings ran over, cheering over their big brother being home and asking if you were the person mom and dad talked about on the phone with Trey. Already you loved Trey's family, they were adorable in your eyes! "I hope you're ready for the insanity that's my family." Trey playfully remarked, pulling laughter from everyone around him. You hugged your boyfriend with a smile on your face. "I look forward to every minute we stay here."

Trey loved baking alongside you, but you and his family? Talk about heaven! Trey had to help out in the family business still, given his parents ran a bakery that had opened for lunch, so alongside the sweet smells of cake, the occasional smell of crisping pepperonis and melting cheese filled your senses. You found it odd at first, but your boyfriend's father swiftly explained that a demand for some more dinner and lunch friendly goods should be offered and they complied, if only a touch. You were surprised by how willing Trey's parents were when offering your help to ease the rush, helping your darling make and top some sugar cookies with oversized chocolate chips. You ended up swiping kisses from your boyfriend while his mom worked the front of house and his dad prepared the pizzas to be sent out. It seemed the more homely setting brought out the more affectionate side of your lover; small coos of adoration left his lips, tiny kisses peppered your cheeks, and skin to skin contact was through the roof as he guided you by taking your hands into his. It was all so romantic and sweet.

It had to be a bittersweet departure after your little weekend of fun was over, but everyone loved you. You had your bags packed back up with Trey, the luggage sitting in the foyer as you ate a delightful breakfast, feeling right at home as you sat next to your beloved. Trey was holding your hand under the table as you two dug into the fluffy blueberry pancakes his mom and dad had made for everyone, one of his little brothers quickly getting your attention. "(Y/N)?" The little boy called out quietly. "Yes, little one?" You asked, your voice a soft coo. The 3rd year glanced over at you as you interacted with his baby brother, watching carefully. "Will you come back with our big brother again soon?" "Well, that depends on both me and your big brother, dear. I'd love to, though!" You replied, flashing a smile to the little guy, who hugged you. "I'm gonna miss you..." He whined. "Me two!" Trey's sister piped up. "Me thwee!" The youngest chimed in, Trey and his parents chuckling at your interactions. "You have quite the partner here, Trey." His father spoke, looking at his son in pride. "You really do, sweetie, you better try and hold onto them!" Trey's mother spoke, smiling warmly. "They're a keeper!" "I know." Trey replied, looking at you now hugging his younger siblings, warmth bubbling in his chest. "I plan to treat them right." Overall, you had a new home in the Clover family, and your boyfriend's thinking of ways to properly propose to you after the trip. Never hurts to plan it out!

Riddle Rosehearts

Oh god, oh no, this one hurts. This will never ever end well if he picks the S/O... You knew Riddle had some problems he was trying to work through, you understood, truly! And Riddle was eternally grateful for your presence and influence in his life, you had to be the best thing to ever happen to him! You were his angel sent from the stars. Which is why he dreaded introducing you to his mother. He knew his father would've been okay, and he honestly has zero issues showing you off to him! If he was actually at home that is...He was currently abroad when Riddle accidentally let it slip that he was dating. So, in came the demands to meet you to make sure you were good enough for her baby, and the news that you two were going to his house for dinner.

You both had pits in your stomachs when you showed up to the Rosehearts household... You were greeted by the intimidating visage of Riddle's mother, who was standing in the yard with her arms folded tightly over her chest, her eyes boring into you. "Hello, mother." Riddled greeted, closing himself off to your presence and tensing up, his shoulders stiff; a telltale sign that he was stressed. You had to bite back the urge to coo and coddle him like you normally did when he was upset. "Riddle." His mother hummed looking at you with disdain. "Why is your...companion here dressed like that?" She asked sharply, making you feel embarrassed. You had asked Rook of all people to style you, but it appears it's simply not up to par with the impossible standard's Mrs. Rosehearts held. "We had asked one of our fellow classmates to dress them in the finest clothes they had available." Riddle spoke. Riddle's mother tsked. "I thought that I raised you better than this, they look terribly tacky, and I thought you would've had better tastes. Come. Dinner is waiting now." Riddle clenched his fists, feeling sorrow well up in his chest as he looked at you apologetically. You rushed forward, hugging Riddle from behind and kissing his cheek to reassure him. It was still quite the sting hearing his mother act so harsh, though.

Dinner wasn't much better either... You made sure to study proper etiquette with Riddle before you came here, but none of that seemed to matter as you choked down the bland food. Seriously, who doesn't bother to season meet and just serve nothing but tomatoes, onions and iceberg lettuce for a salad...? You tried your best, but Mrs. Rosehearts just eyed you in disgust, biting her tongue but looking at Riddle with a disappointed gaze. Riddle himself couldn't tell if sorrow or anger was bubbling up in his chest. You explained you were from another world when she asked where you were from and she looked at you like you just spat on her when you told her you were magicless; despite her already knowing that. She made Riddle tell her about you after making him nearly break down in tears over the phone last night. "Pathetic! I raised my son better than this, and yet you're barely passing, have no magic, and carry no knowledge of anything worthwhile! You're nothing but a waste of his time and my own!" The harpy of a woman shrieked. Oh, that was it, he picked his side of the fence...

Riddle felt a cord finally snap as all of his years of strict, lonely suffering drove him forward. "Why can't you just be happy that I finally found someone, mother?" Riddle hissed, catching the attention of his present parent. "Because, your selection was terrible! I could pick you a much better partner." Mrs. Rosehearts said, you feeling like you could start crying. "No! I-I don't want anyone else, much less an arrangement where I'll feel nothing for the other party!" Riddle barked angrily, slamming his fist on the table as he stood up. "I want who I fell in love with! I want my rose! I want to stay with (Y/N)!" "When will you see that you're worth more than them?!" "They've been nothing short of an angel to me, fixing the damage you caused!" Riddle yelled, his face bright red from anger. "They're worth far more than me from where I stand!" "Then you can just take that garbage and get them out of this house, you and I will start studying to find you a suitable-" "If they leave, I'm leaving with them, in fact, that's a wonderful idea!" Riddle bellowed, you looking up at him and rising from your seat. Rushing to his side, you tugged him out of the house as Riddle's mother screamed at you two from the kitchen and out the door, Riddle yelling that she won't take you away; he's had so much stripped from him, he refuses to lose you. This entire situation was a disaster, but you knew your precious prince loved you so dearly. Once you two made it back to his dorm, Riddle looked exhausted. You asked him what you could do to ease his struggles after he changed into his pajamas. "My rose, tonight, I just want to forget everything, rules and all..." Riddle whined, looking at you with tired slate grey orbs. "I just want to hold you in my arms and wake up to your face..." "Of course, my love." You cooed softly, kissing his cheeks as you both crawled under the covers of his bed, Riddle curling into your form instantly. Under the warmth of the duvet, everything felt right; you were his and he was yours, and no tyrant was ever going to rip you apart. Riddle had proven his iron clad love belonged to you and you alone.

[peaxhxhair]

Hi!! First off, I hope you're doing well! :) Just wanted you to know you inspire me a lot, your writing is admirable <3

Onto the request (can be an oneshot or headcanons! no preference, go with what you want!), how do you think Venture would treat a sensory overstimulated FTM!reader? I know for sure they would respect him and treat him like he wants to be treated in that moment, being there for him OR leaving him alone, if he wants to. Personally, I think they would try to talk him through it (that actually helps me a lot!), letting him vent or distracting him with their excavation stories in a sweet, low voice... jwhwhwjshs I love them so much

If you don't want to write it, it's okay!! Hope you have a good day/night <3

Pairing: Sloan Cameron x FTM!Reader Warnings: Binders, mentions of claustrophobia, sensory overload / sensory overstimulation. Word Count: 1.3k A/n: AHHHH I LOVE YOU!!! I'm gonna give you a little kiss on the forehead ahhh!! <3 Thank you for the request!

I've really gotten into doing head-canons with little drabbles in the middle, so that's what I decided to do here! Hope you enjoy!! <3

Navigation Overwatch - MASTERLIST Consider becoming a Member! <3

The Background

Let's say you work within the wayfinder society with Sloan.

Maybe you two started your apprenticeships at the same time.

Being similar ages, the two of you got along like a house on fire.

It was nice, speaking to someone your age.

~~~

You figured out your identity at around 16 years old - right as you accepted into your apprenticeship into they Wayfinder Society.

It was difficult - telling everyone you knew to change their view of you.

Well, it wasn't hard for you - but it was hard to make them understand.

You tried, but if the words you said to them didn't stick - then they just didn't stick.

You preferred to focus on yourself, rather than on what other people thought of you.

It was easy for you to deal with the silent disagreement with your identity.

You focused on your apprenticeship - moving to live close to their main base.

All on your own.

~~~

Meet-Cute

Meeting Sloan was well - a little chaotic, as one would imagine.

They had found you cutting your hair, with the bluntest scissors on earth.

You had finally been given a chance to work with archaeologists, so obviously you wanted them to view you as you saw yourself.

Or at least...Make a good impression.

It had been a while since you had cut your hair...

You family weren't exactly into the idea of you cutting your hair short.

~~~

"Woah, hey there!" You startle slightly at the sound of an extra person in this bathroom. It was lucky that the scissors you had acquired were the worst - so you didn't end up cutting any hair off of your head unintentionally. You were surprised to see someone your age when you looked to the left.

"Uh...Hey?" The look on their face was concerned, and slightly scared, even as you regarded them. Maybe it did look a little crazy - the fact that you were cutting your hair in the sink of a public bathroom. But hey, desperate times.

You observed them as the two of you stared at each other. Dirt on their face, long beige over-coat, pride pin secured to their front pocket.. Oh hey! You knew that flag!

It seemed like when you noticed their pin, they had noticed the trans flag pin you had secured to your backpack - which was still on your back despite being hunched over the bathroom sink. You both stared at each other in recognition - before they grinned at you.

"You uh... need some help with that?"

~~~

Their offer to help cut your hair was weird - but they did give you a sick ass haircut.

The idea of it made you slightly nauseous at first, but you did end up grateful that they were good at cutting hair.

…Better than you were anyway...

They introduced themself as Sloan, and you told them your name.

It felt weird, having someone actually call you by the name you told them.

In a good way, of course.

Since that day, the two of you spent every day together - and quickly became close. They were there for you through everything - as were you with them. The good, the bad and the ugly.

~~~

Sensory Overload

Since graduating from your apprenticeship with the Wayfinder Society, the two of you had travelled around the world.

Sloan was very opposed to taking days off - since they enjoyed their job so much.

You sometimes struggled to keep up with their enthusiasm.

By no means did you hate your job - you knew that you wouldn't want to be anywhere else.

But...Everything was.. loud, and touching you.

Having to hold heavy machinery - hear the sounds of drilling - feel the dirt against your skin.

Sometimes it got to you.

~~~

You felt nauseous. Overwhelmed by the constant noise and heat - the goggles over your eyes making you feel claustrophobic. Your fingers shifted against the drill in your hands, and you tensed, immediately feeling more uncomfortable than you had been before.

The overwhelming need to stop sensing anything was the only thing you could focus on. Too. Much. Everything. You were in a bit of a difficult place to just, stop sensing anything. So, you kept drilling - pushing through the ache in your chest that made you want to just, drop everything.

The wayfinder society had decided that travelling to the middle of nowhere to find an ancient omnium was a good idea. Drilling for something none of you had any idea how to find, was just crazy.

There was so much drilling, and talking. and YELLING. You could hear it echoing through the tunnel you had made. The drill slips from your hands as you lose your focus - clanking against a rock as it falls onto the ground. Your first thought was to leave - but you hated the thought of moving. Feeling your clothes against your skin. It made you feel sick.

You slump onto the floor - shutting your eyes and covering your ears with your hands. An attempt to block out the noise. You could feel the fabric of your binder digging into your skin - making you chest feel tighter than it already was. There was a lump in your throat - and a pain in your jaw that you tried to suppress. You couldn't cry. You have no reason to.

~~~

Sloane is a very nosy person - I think everyone knows that.

On expeditions like this, Sloane would probably come and check on you.

Maybe they'd help you out, or show you a cool rock they had found.

In this scenario, they had found a geode when digging a tunnel of their own, and had come to show it to you.

Though, when they find you curled into yourself in a corner, they have an idea of what's going on.

It wasn't like this was the first time it has happened.

There had been a few times in the past where you had gotten overstimulated like this at work.

Every time was slightly different, but they knew what to do now.

~~~

"Hey dude! Look at this geode I found" Sloane calls as they wander down the tunnel you had dug. They weren't far enough in to spot you just yet, though when they didn't hear a response from you, they grew concerned.

Sure enough, when they reached the end of the tunnel, they spotted you hunched over - your knees pulled to your chest as you attempted to block out any noise. It doesn't seem like you notice them at first, only flinching slightly as Sloane takes a seat in front of you.

The first time they had found you like this - they had sat with their legs out-stretched. It hadn't been a big deal at first, until you had sat the same way - pressing the bottom of your shoes against theirs. You had explained at one point that it was somewhat grounding...To know that they were there.

So, Sloane sits the way they always do - giving you that invitation. They fish something out of their bag, pulling out a pair of soundproof earmuffs. You don't notice at first - due to your eyes being firmly shut. So they place them over your ears for you, having to tug your hands from your ears with the sleeves of your shirt.

~~~

They hate sitting in silence. But they'll do it for you.

They'd do anything for you.

It's a while before you open your eyes - blinking away the tears that had formed.

You prop your feet against Sloane's, and they grin happily at you.

The earmuffs were definitely helping - as you couldn't hear the sound of drilling anymore.

Having finally looked at them for the first time in what felt like hours - Sloane pulls out the geode they had found.

They crack it open, showing you the inside.

A beautiful Amethyst geode.

Having them show you that distracted you from yourself - from what you were feeling.

You were grateful for Sloane.

You always had been.

[whatwooshkai]

Fav number 15 since it is May for the smoke and mirrors ask!

"What are we looking for, again?" Heatwave asks for what must be the hundredth time.

Quickshadow takes a deep vent and adjusts her sunglasses. "Plates, cups, napkins. Then we can go home."

"Seriously, why do we need any of this?" Heatwave continues, running a hand through his hair. "It's not like we'll be using any of it!"

"I know," Quickshadow snaps through gritted dentae. "Boulder and Graham are handling the ones for us. And I know you know that, so shut your mouth-"

"I'll shut your mouth-" Heatwave snarls and lunges forward, but there's an unmistakable beat of excitement that escapes through his field.

So he wants a spar. In the middle of a Party City.

"Not happening," Quickshadow says, attempting to push him away from her, just for Heatwave to shut his tangibility off and make her stumble through him. "Don't do that in public!" she snaps. "What if someone saw you?"

Heatwave doesn't answer, just sticks out his glossa at her.

"You're such a sparkling," she mutters, turning back to the shelf.

"And you're a bitch," Heatwave snaps back. Great. Now he's using human words.

Quickshadow takes another deep vent and tries to ignore him.

Of course they stuck her with him. Heatwave, on a good day, is a great sparring partner and makes good conversation. But on a bad day, especially when he's bored, he's about as mature as a newforge.

The other rescue bots must've planned this. Even Kade jumped at the assignment to distract Blades while the rest of them split up to go shopping for his forge-day surprise party. She should've known something was up.

Alas, there is nothing she can do now but deal with it.

"You really shouldn't talk to your mother like that," a shrill voice chides, and Quickshadow's battle protocols nearly click on.

She needs to remove both of them from this situation right now before Heatwave causes a scene and gets them both kicked out.

The offending voice comes from a human woman, with silvery blond hair tied up what she assumes is uncomfortably tight in a bun, with her stature just as taut as her hairdo.

Heatwave opens his mouth, and before Quickshadow can stop him, he blurts, "That's my dad."

Oh, Primus. The worst part is is that he seems genuine. Like he thinks that's the actual term that should be in use here.

Quickshadow swoops in behind him, placing both hands on his shoulders and steering him towards the other end of the aisle. "Go find the orange napkins, will you?" she asks sweetly, but sends urgency pulsing through her field. "I'll handle this."

By some divine act of Primus, Heatwave doesn't fight her, instead walking off in the direction she's pointed him in with only a shrug.

"I'm sorry about that," Quickshadow says to the woman, who's giving her a suspicious look. Oh Primus, how do I fix this... "He's adopted," she starts, wracking her processor for a believable way to continue this story. "He had a really bad home life, you know, and a lot of trauma with his mom... it's just easier for him to call me Dad, and he tends to get a little defensive about it. You know how teens can be," she says, drawing upon all her knowledge of human terms and things she's seen in Blades' favorite soap operas.

And it works. The woman's glare drops immediately and she holds her hands out placatingly. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" she says quickly, waving her hands a little. "I didn't- I shouldn't have assumed, I'm sorry. Have a wonderful day, you two." And with that, she's rushing out of the aisle.

Quickshadow heaves a full body sigh, dragging her hands down her face. "The things I do for you," she mumbles, before turning back to Heatwave, who seems to still be attempting to figure out what a napkin is. "What were you even thinking?"

"Parental figures on Earth are 'dads'," Heatwave says matter-of-factly, making an educated guess and guessing wrong, but they are plates, so Quickshadow doesn't correct him. "I was just correcting her for our story."

"Only male ones are 'dads'," Quickshadow tells him. She pulls the napkins off the shelf and the cups, knocking them into the cart. "Female ones are 'moms'. You should know that."

Heatwave rolls his optics. "There are no female creators on Earth. That's only in movies and stuff."

Quickshadow takes a second to process the information given, before suddenly it clicks. Neither the Chief or Doc Greene have wives. No wonder he'd think that. "Well, there are. So next time someone says it, just going along with it. Or better yet, let me do the talking."

Heatwave grumbles something unintelligible, something about Kade being a liar, then fixes his optics back on her. "Are we done yet? Blades is blowing up my comm, he knows something's happening behind his back."

Quickshadow sighs again. "Yes, we're done."

[kazarinn]

I watched Last Evolution a while back and found it to be extremely grim and cynical with its talk of "potential" but i'd be willing to watch the movie again if the translation was at fault if there was a more accurate sub. I see a couple sub groups did translations for the movie, but I wasn't sure if there was one you recommended or worked on? Otherwise I'd be very interested in hearing what bothered you about the official translation, regardless of my own feelings about what I watched, but I was having a hard time finding a post on your blog that talked about it directly.

Hello! Yes, I would absolutely agree the official subs are a mess to the point I can't even recommend the movie with them. Personally, I think any of the fansubs should be fine; the one I personally had a hand in was the L Subs version (which I did not translate myself but was lightly involved with the subbing process for), but to my understanding, there is at least one other well-done one done by a fan who clearly knows and loves the series.

(I actually am tentatively interested in maybe trying it out myself in the future for the hell of it, but I'm not super pressed to do it ASAP because there are so many other things with higher priority. Other than subs of the movie itself, I also personally translated the Shueisha Mirai Bunko version of the novelization, which doesn't have a 1:1 transcription of the dialogue but is still more accurate than whatever was going on with the official translation, or at least I would like to believe.)

I haven't made a proper post breaking it down yet, but what I will say is that, as someone who has spent a long time translating for this series and has gone through the movie's dialogue multiple times (way too many times?) in Japanese, it is absolutely, 100%, for sure, not supposed to be a cynical movie. The official translation had butchered a number of things related to that, such as:

The fact that they didn't preserve the nuances related to 宿命 and 運命, an issue that my senior translator (who translated the L Subs version) and I consider to be important enough that my senior wrote about it on Twitter and I touched on it in my own discussion of Crest names. There are certain distinct contexts where the word that means "something truly unavoidable" and the word that means "something we are guided towards" come up.

The fact that Menoa's motives make no sense in the official subs; certain lines are translated to suggest the opposite of what they should, and certain lines will directly contradict each other, meaning the only thing that a viewer can get out of it is that "she wants to save everyone" and that she might even be right about her ideas (which probably doesn't help the viewing of the movie as cynical, since it sounds like Taichi and Yamato are rejecting her "good but extreme" intentions at worst and not her distorted view of the world as a whole).

The conversation between Gennai and Taichi in the middle of the movie has about two or three critical lines that are mistranslated, and those are probably some of the most important lines in terms of establishing the movie's themes, especially given the issue of "potential"/"possibility" that you mentioned.

In general (well, this has very little to do with your question, but I feel the need to vent about this anyway) the official translation is just plain klutzy about everything. There's no conscientiousness about character voice, one of the most important things in translating Digimon works. References to the original series' plot points or lore don't match up at all, and I don't get the impression the translator or editor was familiar with the original series. (Adventure tri. and The Beginning's subs had this problem too, but not to the same degree; in the case of Adventure tri., the lore was vaguely referenced or contradictory in Japanese to the extent a compliant English translation probably wouldn't have even been possible, and in the case of The Beginning, the issues were less common and less plot-relevant.) Even beyond just plot-important lines, there are far too many lines that are semantically mistranslated. All of it makes the movie an unpleasant experience to watch in terms of sheer vibe, and that's something I think is far more important than people tend to treat it as.

I will give a disclaimer that I feel obligated to give during these situations: if you did not like the movie, while I think it is highly likely that you'll enjoy it better with a properly done translation, I cannot guarantee that it'll turn your opinion over 180 degrees and make it your favorite movie ever. I am a translator before I am a literary critic, so while literary analysis is important for a translator, there is a point I have to hold back before it starts turning into my own fanfiction. But it's exactly because of this that the official translation is so poisonous, because a translator's job should be to maximize potential for readings and interpretations for others. If a work could potentially have a "nonsense interpretation" and a "sensible interpretation", and a translation outright invalidates the possibility of having the sensible interpretation because of how sloppy and nonsensical it is, it becomes a perfect example of what I've referred to as "insidiously bad translation", where it looks passable on the surface but is far more poisonous than it seems.

[harus-simp]

Overflowing darkness

-Jeonghyeon x reader-

Warning:angsty at first (kind of a fight) but just for a moment

Author's note: This is based on something that occurred to me the other day(without the boyfie part of course 🤡) so yeah got some inspiration :))

Hope you like it ;))

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The later it gets the more worry is present in jeonghyeon as you hadn't return from work yet, earning a lot of scolding and clinginess later.

It was around 2 a.m but you still hadn't came back home yet, jeonghyeon was really pissed and mad because of the late hour. You never came that late so he was assuming the worst, his baby was nowhere to be found and he was starting to get quite scared of your current location.

He had called you multiple times, but you didn't answer to any of his calls. It wasn't because you didn't want to answer him tho, it's just that your phone was silenced lol 🤡

.

.

.

You on the other hand was becoming anxious and frightened due to the long walk you were having home, the buses were not active at that hour and you saw the last one go away right in your face.

'Great' you thought to yourself

With no other option left, you decided to start heading back home, walking. It wasn't the best option, you were perfectly aware of that, but what else were you supposed to do?

You could have grabbed a taxi, but you couldn't find one at that moment. So you opted to just ignore your crippling anxiety and go back as soon as possible.

And everything was going quite well, until you started to feel like you were being observed from behind. However, when you turned around there was no one there. You continued your journey with the same sensation still present, so you quickened your pace and decided to forget about it and focus on the front avenue.

Everything was good again, that felling disappeared, but instead it was replaced by little sounds of wood breaking or muffling voices in your back. The creepiness that once was present came back like a powerful storm in the middle of the night making you question your decision of coming back alone.

Your own thoughts and worries were silenced when you noticed an upcoming call from your boyfriend.

"Y/N WHY HAVEN'T YOU PICKED UP MY CALLS?"

"Sorry babe, my phone was silenced"

" WERE ARE YOU?"he screamed furiously

"I'm near the convenience store down the road"

"WHAT? But the bus doesn't take that route?"

"I know, I kinda lost the bus so I've been walking back home"

"YOU WHAT?"

"I'll explain you later, I'm almost there, love ya"you said while hanging up

Damn, he was pissed. REALLY pissed.

.

.

.

Once you were approaching the entrance you saw him leaning on the door frame with a worried expression, and as he saw you he runned directly to your direction bringing you into his embrace hugging you tightly and sniffling into the crock of your neck.

"Thank God you're okay" he whispered, any signs of fury or anger not visible anymore, instead replaced by gratefulness and relieve.

You hugged him back placing your arms around his frame and just enjoying the close proximity between you both.

"Sorry hyeonie, I lost the bus and then I had to walk home alone and I felt like I was being watched and then-"

You were cut off by his finger being pressed onto your lips to keep you from your venting, figuring out you would rather need a more relaxed demeanour to talk things out without feeling overwhelmed.

"Don't worry babe, I'm really sorry for screaming at you, I was just so worried. Why don't we come in and I make you a cup of tea while you tell me about your day?"

You calmed yourself and agreed to his plan hoping that would be a much better option than the previous one.

So he took you inside making you feel right were you belonged, at home. After your explanation he reassured you everything was okay now.

He pressed a loving kiss on your lips making you forget about all your problems and worries and just focusing on the kiss you were sharing with junhyeong.

It was sweet and delicate, yet a little desperate due to all the accumulated emotions inside of you both. Like a taste of black coffee with a kick of milk on it.

When you separated you saw his loving and adoring gace on you bringing you so much comfort and joy to be by his side.

You both decided to call it a day and head off to bead due to the long day you both had. When you positioned yourselves on bed you noticed how he hugged you from behind and wasn't planning on letting you go at all as he nuzzled closer on the nape of your neck.

And he indeed didn't let go of you till the next day, keeping you safe in his arms making all your worries go away ❤️

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[lemyvents]

⚠️ Trigger Warning⚠️: Heavy venting/Mentions of Suicide/Aggressive Ranting/Abuse/Mentions of Self-Harm

⚠️Viewer Discretion is Advise!⚠️

Hello everyone, Nicole here, and this is something that I that I need to get off my chest. This is a vent post before I go on hiatus. If you are willing to listen please keep reading this post carefully and actually listen. I would greatly appreciate it a lot! ❤️

I am NOT doing this for attention or to gain sympathy, I don't want so much attention on this post and I don't want to get overwhelmed by countless people trying to support me. I'm just Genuinely venting out my true feelings about what I’ve been through and saying what I have to say. It's not organized so be patient with me, please, and thanks. ❤️

Read at your own risk!

As an actual Autistic person with ADHD and other disorders that I am not undiagnosed for, I would usually never post vents on here or anywhere else due to my trust issues with my followers and audience but…For the past months, Maybe even Years, I started feeling less motivated to do things I am passionate about such as drawing and making fan art or characters or for people that I care about. I would feel like my art is shit and did not receive the attention it needs, and I would struggle to try to improve my art every time I receive a comment about my art, I would get high anxiety and have a triggering episode of something traumatic such as being bullied and tormented from school in the real world.

Throughout my Elementary (5th grade) and Middle School days as a child, I was always tormented and harassed by other students and I would cry every time they made a threat to me, made fun of me for jokes that I didn't understand, and physically hit me and the teachers would usually do nothing about it. Nobody gave a shit that if I had Autism, ADHD, or Anxiety whatsoever, I felt like hell throughout school. I hated just about everything around me, I felt like an outcast, and I felt like I was not worth living for. Not to mention, I was dealing with my Ex Boyfriend cheating on me as well which made shit worst for me and made me Self-Harm myself and I cut myself with a Razor, trying to k*ll myself by cutting through my veins and letting myself bleed to death to the point where I lose oxygen and consciousness.

My mother started to be extremely concerned and worried about the cuts on my arm, so she took me to a therapist to get some help the therapist helped for a little bit until a new therapist arrived when I had another appointment with a Mental Health Clinic. The new therapist wasn't much help, to be honest, so we stopped seeing that therapist and then. After I moved from my old home to a new home, I transferred to a new school in the neighborhood where I live. The school wasn't very far, it didn't take long to get there by car, but never mind that! After I was transferred I felt more comfortable and open toward new people, but then, I started to get harassed there too at times, and made my mental health worsen more. Although…

During my high school years at my New High School, I discovered something that actually made me feel lots of joy in my heart. I started watching Roary The Racing Car. The show changed a lot in me. when I heard Maxi’s voice for the first time. I felt an instant connection with the Maxi. The more I watched Roary The Racing Car the more of a connection towards both the show and Maxi grew more and more. The show made me feel very safe and I would stim and get excited quite often Especially when Maxi was on screen and talking or whenever there was fan art of Maxi. I couldn’t help my autistic stimming whenever I see stuff like that or things that I am very interested in. I became so obsessed with the show that I collected some of the merch. I would ramble about how down bad I am for Maxi but….That’s the topic for another day and I don't feel comfortable talking about it at the moment.

So after graduating and still having love for the Roary show, My mom and I went out at night to pick up a friend of ours from work while my mom and I were sitting in the parking lot chilling then after so many people from around the public came around and started parking in spots that they weren’t supposed to be, it would trigger me and I started to go on a 2-hour rant about how much I hate the world and the people within this world. Then I started to think a lot about suicide, venting to her about how I wanted to k*ll myself. Then the next morning I still felt like shit, which then lead to my mom calling the Suicide Hotline then next morning because I felt like shit. After talking to my family and relatives, a team of mental professionals showed up at our home and asked me some questions about my trauma. After talking with the mental professionals, and LOOTTSSS of venting. I felt a lot of stress come off of me.

But…That doesn’t stop there. Even after some some emotional support, It would all come back to me like a boomerang just by getting jealous of others who are talented and gain more attention than me. One of my dreams is to become talented like them and show the world that I am just as talented as they are.

I would feel dehumanized by certain people, and sometimes those people would remove me from groups and unfollow me without me even knowing or without a given reason and possibly talking shit behind my back EVEN IF I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO THEM!

I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE THIS WORLD RIGHT NOW, I GENUINELY FEEL LIKE I AM SECRETLY HATED…AND POSSIBLY EVEN SHADOW BANNED ANYWHERE ONLINE.

But eh…WHATEVER…People come and go I guess…

I would feel like the entire world is against me. I see the entire world as a threat to me and I feel hurt by the evil people. I am genuinely SICK of people seeing me as an attention seeker when I literally vent about something that bothers EVEN IF ITS THE SMALLEST THING EVER! People would say “I aM So tiRED Of yOuR vEnTinG It’S getting oN My NeRvEs aNd OLd !1!1!1 🙄😒” or “YouR just aN aTTentiOn seeker who FaKes mEnTal diSorDers foR aTTentiOn, You're noT AuTistic, ADHD, or have PTSD aNd DePressiOn!1!1!1 🙄🙄🙄 😒😒🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️” or “It’S noT mY fAult yoUR suffering!1!!1 😒😒😒”

SORRY THAT I CAN’T HELP MY FUCKING EMOTIONS, MY MENTAL STATE, AND MY MENTAL DISORDERS. SORRY THAT I HAVE FUCKING EMOTIONS. SORRY THAT I AM AN ACTUAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING THAT IS TRYING TO LIVE LIFE. SORRY THAT I HAVE MENTAL DISORDERS THAT I CAN’T HELP. SORRY THAT I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!! THAT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU’RE SHITTY FUCKING PERSON AND DESERVE TO GO TO HELL FOR DEHUMANIZATION, ABLEST SHIT, AND ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR!!

I CAN’T FUCKING STAND GASLIGHTERS AND VICTIM BLAMERS WHO THINK THEY HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!! WELL GUESS WHAT HERE’S A REALITY CHECK FOR YA! 😃

NOBODY HERE IS PERFECT AND NOBODY HERE IS A FUCKING SAINT! FUCKING WAKE UP!

WE…ARE…HUMAN!!!

YOU HEAR ME….

HUMAN!!!

I am SOOOOO ready to die right now, it’s not even fucking funny. I can’t help but feel like shit total shit for what I do. I would isolate myself from things that bother me and try to cope with them and learn how to deal with situations I am in. It’s VERY VERY HARD to control. I am always desperate for emotional support and need of comfort, but I just can't bring myself to trust people in this big wide world…

Sometimes I wish I had never been born…Never existed…maybe the entire world would be happy if I never existed…

If anything I rather be hated for being myself rather than just faking a smile and bottling up my emotions! I rather express my feelings and be myself and make innocent people happy and be their emotional support instead of people tossing my kindness and compliments in the trash like it is nothing. If you do toss my kindness and compliments in the trash, Then FUCK YOU!!

Say all mean Shit all you want, but I don’t care, you’re just wasting time harassing me and others anyway!!

To People who have done me wrong in life such as my bullies, my former computer middle school teacher, my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, and others who harassed me online and treated me like shit….

FUCK YOU!! Just…FUCK YOU!! BURN IN HELL!! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!! STOP HARASSING ME AND MAKING ME FEEL MISERABLE. I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT AND THE BAD TASTE THAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH!! STAY OUT OF MY LIFE AND GO MOVE ON IN LIFE GOD DAMMIT!! STOP WASTING YOUR TIME ON HARASSING OTHERS AND MAKING OTHERS FEEL LIKE SHIT. YOU’RE BEING A PIECE OF SHIT!! WAKE UP AND REALIZED THE DAMAGE YOU CAUSED!!! I HOPE YOU REGRET IT FOR ETERNITY!!

I…HAVE…HAD…ENOUGH…

Ughh…That was the cringest, cheesiest, and most tough thing to vent about. Anyway, that’s enough venting I said what I needed to say.

To people who listened and read this post and ACTUALLY appreciate me.

Thank you VERY VERY much and I appreciate you for listening to me, really and truly. ❤️❤️❤️

Now for my announcement. I am currently going into therapy and of course, I am starting college soon. I am mostly going to be on Hiatus and very busy because I am going to be focused on my goals in life such as becoming a successful artist, animator, storyboard artist, graphic designer, and game developer. I am going to step away from social media and spend more time with my family as well. I am going to explore the world and meet new people along the way. I am going to make my dreams come true and spread my wings. I want to come out of my introverted shell.

But, yeah, now that you have read this post, Again…Thank you for listening and I appreciate your support very much. ❤️

Thank you and I’ll see you guys when I feel ready to come back, I promise! I love you all that support me! ❤️

Goodbye for now! 👋

-Sincerely, Nicole ❤️

[crescentblossom66]

Bond of the Beasts Chapter 12

“School sucks! It was the one thing I totally didn't miss when I was all on my own.” Mu lamented as she entered the school after Hattie and Bow, the latter turned around to make sure her friend was following. The day after Mu was introduced to the remaining two adults, the DJ had insisted to buy her new clothes, an offer that the werewolf girl couldn't really turn down, given that her old clothes had been pretty beat up. She now had a red hoodie which was perfect for covering up her wolf ears and black jeans which were...not too great in making sure it wasn't a pain to hide her tail. The only thing that she couldn't hide was her mustache, but that didn't matter, she was proud of it, no matter what anyone else said.

Bow opened the door to the classroom for her. “Learning things is hard for me too, and I struggle a bit with talking to others, but I enjoy it a lot, it beats what we've been through before.” She said that in a more quiet tone to make sure that the kids that were already in the room didn't hear. Mu just sighed..

“At least tell me that you're sitting next to me.” Bow nodded. When Mu was accepted into class as a new transfer student, Cookie had requested that she could sit next to Bow, thinking that it would help Muriel adjust better if a friend sat next to her. Feeling indeed a bit better about this whole situation now, the red-clothed girl sat down with a huff, thinking that maybe she should act up in class...but that might make it worse for Bow and Cookie, both had been very nice to her. The last few days, the young girl had made due on her promise, keeping her company and helping her settle into the new household. Cookie had been maybe the nicest adult, other than her parents, she had ever met. She was always around if she had a question and had listened to her vent about the Hunters. The DJ had been nice enough to to help her buy clothes, it apparently was surprising him that the Conductor decided to pitch in with paying for them, Bow had informed her that these two didn't really see eye to eye. By a long shot the weirdest and most enigmatic guy in the household had been this Snatcher character, not only did his appearance make her feel on edge, but his whole demeanor. Only Hattie and Cookie seemed to be interacting with him, Bow had been right to warn her.

Mu leaned back in her chair and started to rock back and forth by leaning far back and then moving forward just a bit so the chair was teetering constantly. Bow gave her a concerned look and was about to open her mouth, but Mu interrupted her. “I know what you're going to say 'It's dangerous, Mu, you shouldn't do this, you'll fall!' I don't care, I'm bored and I need some fun in this place.” Bow looked down at her desk, feeling a bit called out. Hattie on the other hand only sighed, she had been reading the same book for what felt like hours. “Hey, nerd, what are you reading there, some kind of ancient history book or something equally as lame?” Mu smirked, wanting to poke fun at the young sorceress, who only shook her head.

“No, it's a magi-” Bow stopped her by putting her hand in front of Hattie's mouth. The other girl recoiled, but understood the issue a moment later, she had forgotten that they were in the middle of school. “Sorry...”

“It doesn't matter what book it is, reading is lame! So is learning...it's sooo boring.” The blonde girl sat back down normally once English class started and they had to read. It was a book about a small fox that got separated from his mother and was trying to find her.

Thanks to having been in school for a few years before her family got found out and hunted down, Muriel was mostly able to read the paragraph she was supposed to read quite easily, only stumbling a little bit when she had to read a more complicated word. Mu didn't seem to care too much anyway about how well she'd do, as long as she would pass the class with a C or at worst a D. It was amazing to Bow just how quickly Hattie had improved in reading compared to her. It wasn't like she wasn't trying to read or get better in school to get rid of the disadvantage the isolation and lack of education given to them in their lives up until this point had created, it was just that Hattie seemed to pick up things a lot better than her. It caused her to feel a bit dumb and inferior to her sister. When Bow's turn came around, the young changeling struggle to read the words, even easy words still felt rather hard to her. Her embarrassment only increased when the other kids in the class started snickering at her subpar reading skills. Her face turned bright red and she sunk into her chair more and more, her paragraph didn't seem to have an end at all, her tears that blurred her eyes half way through, didn't make it any easier on the girl.

Hattie was too busy to notice having opened her magic book behind the book they were actually reading, now that her turned to read had been over. Mu on the other hand noticed, she felt a bit of rage build up in her and she slammed her fist on her desk, she would have loved to call the other children out for their awful behavior, but she couldn't act up, she'd cause problems for Cookie and so she had to just endure it. She placed a hand on the back of the changeling who would have turned a mix of blue and purple if she hadn't taken her potion this morning. The rest of the day, Bow felt down, even playing hide and seek with Hattie and Mu later during recess didn't cheer her up at all. “What's wrong, sis? Why are you so down?” Hat Kid asked after finding her sister way too quickly, normally Bow was excellent at hiding.

“It's noting...You don't need to worry.” Bow forced a smile through which the other girl saw easily.

Hattie's expression softened a bit and she knelt down to the girl that was only halfway hidden behind a bush. “You can't lie to me, Bow, I know that response, something is bothering you a lot.”

Bow just sighed, a bit frustrated that she had to explain the situation now. “You know how everything comes fairly easy to you? You picked up reading really quickly and even in math, you're doing much better...-” She lowered her head in shame, “-I feel a bit stupid.” Like she expected, Hattie didn't laugh at her confession.

Hattie looked at her sister with understanding and concern. “It's just really easy for me, I can't explain it, but I don't think you're stupid. I just have more of a reason to learn quickly.” The other girl tried to reassure, her efforts unfortunately didn't have the expected result, as instead of Bow's happy, cheerful smile, all the young changeling managed was slight raise of her lip that attempted to be a smile, but failed miserably.

Loud footsteps and even louder yelling startled both kids who's heads snapped over to the annoyed girl in the red hood. “Were you trying to make me wait until I turned old and gray?! If I wanted to bore myself to sleep, I'd go back to class and read!” The previously rather depressing atmosphere switched instantly, neither Bow nor Hattie wanted to be subjected to Muriel's anger.

When school finally ended, Mu charged out of school like she die if she spend another second in the old building. “If tomorrow is going to be as boooring as today, I swear, I might just have to nuke the place.” She more or less screamed at no one in particular as both Bow and Hattie exited a few seconds later. “You two are so slow, I've seen snails move faster.” Mu crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the other two to catch up.”

“This isn't a race, Mu.” Hattie said rather monotonously which only annoyed the hot-headed girl, who scoffed. If Bow hadn't been to caught up in her own rather detrimental thoughts, she would have easily picked up on the tension between the other two girls. Instead, her thoughts ran rampant with her own insecurity. She really felt like she wasn't contributing much compared to Hattie. While Hattie had her strong magic that could be used in all kinds of ways, she had nothing. She couldn't move objects with an unseen force, she couldn't summon a rain cloud to make water appear out of thin air, and she couldn't conjure up a shield like what Hattie was trying to learn and had moderately succeeded in already. Even Mu, who no one had any expectations for, was very agile and strong, with her being a werewolf. A changeling like her had only the ability to change her color...that was all...all she could do anyway. It wasn't useful and posed more of a problem as she couldn't control it at all.

“...Bow!” The purple-eyed girl gasped and nearly jumped out of her skin when Mu waved her hand in front of her face. “You were miiiles away there. I was asking if you wanted to come with me into the forest later.”

“Sorry, I was just...thinking about something.-” Bow explained while Mu gave her a rather annoyed look. “-I'll come with you, maybe we can find some mushrooms.” She forced a small smile which Mu couldn't see through as easily as Hattie could, the blonde haired girl rose her fist up in the air in triumph instead.

“Great idea! I know aaalll the edible ones out there! It will give me an opportunity to do something nice for Cookie.” Mu grabbed Bow's arm quite forcefully and dragged her with her. “We'll go right after lunch.” Bow had trouble keeping up with Mu as she hurried home, passing by Hattie who had been ahead a little, looking equally as spaced out as Bow had been earlier. “Wanna come with us, nerd?”

Hattie nearly tripped after being snapped out of her thoughts. “N-No, I can't, I have more important things to do.”

Mu only rolled her eyes at that answer. “Fine, have fun reading or what other lame thing you had planned.” Mu continued to drag Bow with her, the changeling nearly stumbled several times on the way home, especially now that autumn was near and the trees were losing their leaves, coupled with the rain, the forest ground was quite slippy. When they arrived home, Cookie had left a note, saying that she had gone to work and had left them a stew on the stove that they only needed to heat up. While Bow was preparing the stew according to the instructions left behind, Muriel had gone up to change into something that allowed her tail to be more free, the red-clothed girl wondered if she could just cut a hole in the back of her trousers to put her wolf tail through, it was quite uncomfortable, and she could at least be comfortable at home, right?

Hattie returned home around 5 minutes after the other two, she sat down on the corner bench with a sigh. Bow started to place down three plates of stew, surprisingly, the smell hadn't attracted the werewolf girl yet. Thinking that Hat Kid was upset because Mu and her had rushed ahead, she decided to speak up. “Uh...are you upset?”

Hattie shook her head, not really focusing on Bow's words at all, she didn't even look at her. Contradictory to what that action made Bow believe, Hattie wasn't upset with her, the young sorceress was thinking over how to make that shield spell work. Maybe Snatcher could give her some pointers on how to do it, the instructions in the book were insufficient. “Think of something protective”, was a rather vague description.

Bow mistook Hattie's silence as her being mad at her, causing her to fumble with the hem of her white shirt and looking away. The changeling's sad expression was replaced by one of shock when Mu came barreling down the stairs, looking even more upbeat and energetic when before. “I finally fixed my worst problem, look!” Mu turned to show her tail which was now free as she had cut a hole her other pants which were meant to be worn at home. “It's so much better now, I feel a lot better!” She gave a wide smile and sat down opposite of Hattie. Unlike Hattie, who still hadn't so much as touched her spoon, Mu started to eat like a starved animal.

Bow joined the other two girls, staring down at her plate of stew as if the pieces of meat and vegetables could give her a solution to the issue that troubled her. She absentmindedly just took a spoon full and dropped its contents back down into the bowl. She got torn out of her thoughts by Mu yet again, who spoke up after seeing that she hadn't eaten anything at all yet.

“Come on, you gotta eat something, you won't be able to search for mushrooms with no strength!” Mu got up to get seconds while Bow glanced back at her and then back at the stew. She reluctantly started to eat, by now her food was merely lukewarm. While Mu started to eagerly at her second bowl of stew, and Bow was now eating slowly, Hattie didn't even touch her stew and simply started out the window before she got up and headed upstairs. After they had finished eating Mu got up and grabbed her and Bow's dishes, the young changeling got startled by that. “Let's go! It will get dark if we don't hurry.” Bow just nodded and followed Mu after the werewolf girl had put their dishes in the dishwasher.

While Bow was minding nearly every step she took as to not slip on the muddy and mossy forest ground that was littered with colorful, yet very wet and slippery leaves, Mu jumped from one pile of leaves to the next, kicking the maple and chestnut leaves into the air and watching them tumble back down again. Bow was glad to see the other girl look happy and enjoy herself, but she truly wondered how the more unruly girl managed to not fall flat on her face, she had nearly fallen three times so far and had been lucky that she there had always been a tree for her to catch herself. Bow had to say that she really liked the forest, even if it was slippery, the various shades of red, orange and yellow that the trees and bushes around her sported were incredible beautiful. She really had to try and draw them later when she had time. Even the smell was different, the fragrance of wet moss and wood was definitely preferable to hand sanitizer and the strange chemicals that were used in the laboratories.

“Look Bow, that's an edible mushroom over there!” Bow followed Mu who hurried over to the mushroom to inspect it closer before she picked it up and covered the area where she plucked it from with soil again. “I know this one, I've eaten it before with my father.” The blonde girl handed the mushroom over to Bow who looked at it as if she hadn't ever any sort of fungus in her life. “Have you never seen a mushroom before? It's nothing that interesting, you know.”

Bow shook her head solemnly. “This is the first time that I've seen one in the wild, I've only ever seen them in pictures before.” Mu frowned at Bow's comment and mumbled something under her breath.

“Something bad happened to you and Hattie, right? It's obvious that you two didn't have a normal upbringing, you're way too strange for that.”

Bow looked down at the ground for a moment, being called strange yet again, she wondered if she could ever escape that lab, even now that she was out of it, the simple fact that she knew almost nothing about the world was causing her to feel out of place, like she didn't belong. “We were...raised in laboratory. Both Hattie and I only recently managed to flee.”

Mu gasped in shock, she had thought that Bow and Hattie were much like her, having lost their family due to them being hunted down, but this was truly awful. She had heard about the facilities, that quite a few magical creatures were brought there to be experimented on. “Did they...experiment on you?” Mu asked with an unusually quite tone of voice, yet it still caused the changeling girl to shiver for a moment.

Experiment was a word that would likely haunt her for the rest of her life, the mere mention of the word caused all the bad memories to resurface. Her skin turned to a deep shade of purple, the potion had worn off. Bow nodded, but didn't want to elaborate, she prayed that the werewolf girl wouldn't ask what sort of experiments they had performed on her.

Mu panicked after seeing Bow Kid's color change to purple and she looked afraid. “I-I'm sorry, uh...” She looked around, trying to find something to distract the other girl with. “-There! Uh...a wild apple tree!” Mu pointed at the tree and went over to it, getting one of the small apples. “They're smaller and a bit more sour than the ones you can by at the market, and you have to watch out for worms, but they're super tasty.” She smiled and offered the apple to Bow, who took it and just stared at it for a moment. The sight of the fruit at least got her mind off the terrible memories and Bow tried her hardest to calm herself, telling herself that she was safe. She also didn't want to worry Muriel any further, the young werewolf looked like she was trying really hard to be empathetic.

She took a bite of the apple offered after making sure that there wasn't a hole in it, she had to say that it tasted exactly like Mu had described, sour, but the flavor was a lot stronger. “It's tastes great.” The changeling gave a thumbs up while the blonde haired girl breathed a sigh of relief.

As they headed home, Mu's ears began to twitch, and her fur bristled. “Do you smell that? A boar is in the area. We should take another path.” Mu grabbed Bow's hand and tried to get away. The tension of the blonde girl made Bow feel on edge and she followed as silently as she could. When she turned her head, she spotted the wild animal. She had never seen a wild boar before, but she had to say that, even though it wasn't that big, its tusks looked like they'd hurt if it decided to attack.

“Mu...it found us.” She whispered anxiously and Mu turned toward it, pushing Bow behind her.

“Back away slowly, don't run. It might chase us and they aren't as slow as they might look.” Bow did as she was told and backed away slowly while the boar seemed to watch them. All went well until the slippery and muddy forest ground thwarted they're plan. Bow slipped and fell backwards which startled the boar and made the animal rush toward them. Mu wasted no second and started to let out a loud wolf howl to try to deter the animal, when that didn't work she had to fight. Fighting an animal that weight 300 pounds and above would proof difficult even for a werewolf adult, but for a child, it was pretty much impossible, thankfully, this boar was still quite young and only half the size of a fully grown version of this species. Mu had one advantage though, her speed, she lured the boar toward her by waving her arms and then dodged at the last second when it charged at her, causing the wild pig to collide with a tree which gave her the opening she needed to use her sharper canine teeth to bite the boar's neck. It was enough to deter the wild animal and it ran away, retreating back into the forest. “And don't come back!”

Mu wiped the blood off her mouth while she helped the startled and amazed Bow to her feet. “Wow...A-Are you okay?” Bow asked worrying about her friend while also in complete awe.

Mu smiled with confidence, “Of course I'm okay, a wild boar is no match for me.” Outwardly she portrayed self assurance, inside however she was freaking out, she only hoped that Bow couldn't see how her body was shaking. “We should hurry back before more of these guys show up.” The changeling nodded.

[queenie-says-free-palestine]

Hi! I came across your blog and wanted to offload some feelings, I hope you don't mind.

I've been kinda aware of the situation in Palestine for a few years now (However I am sure that there is A LOT more I don't know) I'm from Western Europe, I'm sure you're aware of how little concern there was and is for Palestinian here. My stomach just dropped when I turned on the news this past weekend. The first thing I saw was the Israeli president proclaiming war. I felt horrified, I knew that whatever Hamas had done, the Palestinian people would be punished for it. It's terrible what happened to the Israeli people, of course, but the entire western world doesn't seem to acknowledge, accept or even care about the fact that those in Palestine are living in an 'Apartheid system'

I've seen videos of kids being 'roughed up' by Israeli military, old people forced from homes they've lived in for generations. They have been suffering for decades like this. Why is it okay for them to be treated like this? Because they're brown? Muslim? I'm sorry if that's a controversial thing to say, but I can't think of any other reason for it. It is both heartbreaking and infuriating.

I wish the western world just cared, if only a little bit. We have been bombarded with 'Israel the victim' narrative, there is some reporting about what they are doing to Gaza (cutting aid etc) and it's generating a little sympathy but not enough to change the overall narrative. Those who publicly support 'Free Palestine' are painted as antisemitic at best, a terrorist sympathizer at worst.

I'm sick of it!

Forgive me if I've got anything wrong here, but this is the opinion I've come to from what I've seen/read. Feel free to correct me.

Thanks for letting me vent.

sorry, i meant to reply to this when you sent it but ive been so busy 😭😭

im glad you feel that my blog is a safe space to vent :) and no worries, im fine w you feeling the need to spill all this. if anything im somewhat honored you chose my blog !

i will be expanding on some notes you said, but trigger warning for graphic depictions of violence. also notable that if people will get triggered at the very ideas of these things, at seeing them as words or on screens, then imagine those who face this in their every day lives, who have faced this every day for decades. you can choose not to read and not get triggered and move on. they dont have a choice.

the first thing id mention is that you mention how the condemnation is "why is it okay for them to be treated like this? because theyre brown? muslim?" and as a brown muslim, yes this is exactly why its okay for them to be treated like this. the west has made it clear for decades that muslims are terrorists or plane hijackers or bombers and they should be disciplined and indoctrinated, and arabs are either oil money bilionaires or robbers or sex objects who live in tents and dont use cars because they have camels. thats why white ukrainians are defending themselves but brown palestinians are terrorists

but also keep in mind that minorities such as arab christians are just as threatened, especially due to a lack of awareness about the fact that theres actually a large number of christians in arabia, and the christian communities in the middle east are some of the oldest in the world, with the ones in palestine able to date back to the birth of the church. in fact, arab christians are almost condemned more than arab muslims because people tend to blow them off because theyre arab christian and somewhat alien to other people.

not to mention that people have the nerve to say palestinians should die bc the majority are muslims and want to kill infidels and queers. what of the queer palestinians? im friends with palestinians irl and two of them are queer. are they excused from the massacre but their families should die? and its sad that this next sentence might be controversial, but even homophobes dont deserve to be slaughtered. yes, i said it.

next, this is smth that angers me, not what you said, but the fact that its so unknown. youve seen videos of "kids being 'roughed up' by israeli military, old people forced from homes theyve lived in for generations". i promise you, anon, this is the tip of the iceberg. scroll far enough, esp on twitter under the hashtag #freepalestine. the things ive seen will stay with me forever. the things youll see if you look far enough, i promise, you wont be able to comprehend how people who witness this every day can still have the will to live.

if you scroll far enough, youll see videos of women screaming in pain as they watch their homes getting bulldozed. youll see a video of a hearing impaired palestinian girl running, only to get hit in the face w a stun grenade. shes only eleven years old. youll see videos of a boy, only about six, eyes wide and staring off, silent as the person holding the camera urges him to speak and shakes him. youll see a father crying over his sons body after finding it among the dead. youll see a boy running through a crowd, screaming and crying for his dad, only to find his fathers corpse being held up by the people in front. youll find people being pulled out from rubble. youll find a boy pointing at his little sister and saying "look at the blood on her feet." youll see videos of people being held hostage in al aqsa mosque, the third holiest site in islam, by the idf. they did nothing but pray. youll see a man holding a dead fetus, saying that its mother was killed. youll see a father vlogging what life is like in gaza, he buys gifts for his daughters for eid but they keep hiding under pillows thinking that theyre going to get bombed and he has to reassure them and hug them. he died a few days later. youll see two children being held by an idf soldier as they cry and swear they havent done anything. youll see a palestinian girl gesturing towards destroyed buildings behind her and saying "you see all of this. what do you expect me to do, fix it? im only ten." youll see a woman talking about how her two and a half year old son, who was shot by israeli soldiers, was loved by everyone and he loved everyone. youll see a group of men in the middle of prayer, refusing to stop even when they hear israeli missiles hitting. they flinch but they dont stop praying. 

and what of the incidents that didnt get recorded? these are just from the last decade or so. what of the sixty five years before that? this is what i call terrorism. the hijabi on your flight is not a terrorist. the zionists who tells people to leave the land they grew up in, the land their ancestors grew up in? THATS who the the terrorist here.

and even those who dont get killed are terrorized. there are people who have to sign in with checkpoints any time they enter or leave their own home. theyre arrested by the idf for no reason and interrogated for hours.

i would also like to add a point. palestinians arent punished for hamas's crimes. palestinians are punished for being palestinians. people could argue that "oh, israels trying to attack hamas, the civilians are collateral damage, thats inevitable in war!!!"

bull. shit.

okay fine, lets assume that, ethically speaking, its morally just to level all of gaza with the aim of exterminating hamas. lets assume that its not morally questionable to do so, and lets assume that it doesnt violate international law. let me steal the argument of bassem youssef from when he debated w piers morgan:

lets assume hamas doesnt exist. lets assume theres a world where hamas doesnt exist in palestine, and lets call this world the west bank. ... whats the excuse for killing palestinians in the west bank?

(he said smth of the sort, im not sure these were his exact words)

why would you kill palestinians in the west bank, where there isnt hamas, and say that its "collateral damage" from a war w hamas? its thinly veiled racism, i promise you

the slightly more fortunate news is that the world seems to be waking up. there are protests, even in the west, in support of palestine. al jazeera news has an article abt places that have held protests in solidarity w palestine (the link is here) and a lot of them are in western/european countries. even jews are protesting, i remember seeing a video (its kinda old tho maybe two years old ??) of a jewish guy saying "we are embarassed of whats happening in the state of israel, in the jewish name" and that palestinians "shouldnt give up the struggle" (the video is here)

unfortunately, where i live, no protests can be held, but maybe if theres any near you, anon, you can show some love by attending :) and if there arent then you can simply donate (only if you can, obviously)

sorry this ramble is so long hahaha its just that your ask allowed me to let out some bottled up feelings of my own

[deadlifeseries]

When I can't think I think of you

T'is I with yet another prowlbulk fanfic this time focusing on the aftermath of Prowl getting possessed by fucking barnacles.

Some good ol' fashioned hurt/comfort, also they're supposed to already be conjunxed in this.

Winner of the poll, i got impatient so i posted early enjoy!

story under the cut as always

He. Was. Drained

When Prime said that there's an energy signature in the middle of the woods, Prowl was secretly exited to get away from the city for a while. Even if he had to go with Sari and Bumblebee. The trip had of course gone south with the whole space barnacles incident, although he didn't really remember it. Well, most of it.

Both him and Bumblebee had pretended that nothing was wrong on the way back to make sure Sari didn't worry, but after she went to bed Ratchet practically dragged them both off to the medbay to get checked. Besides a few minor dents and scrapes, the worst that happened to them was fatigue. Since Prowl was infected first, and for the longest he got the worst of it, and was promptly sent off to rest.

He staggered away, straight to Bulkhead's room. He was sitting at his desk, working on some new project, he was so engulfed with his work that he only noticed that Prowl was there when he slumped down against him.

"Hey... heard the trip ended pretty bad, you ok?", Bulkhead turned away from the desk and picked Prowl up into his lap. "I'm just tired, Ratchet said my circuits weren't damaged so I'll be fine" he sank against Bulkhead's chestplate and listened to his spark's gentle pulsing. But there was something he didn't say, and the feeling of dread he felt thinking of it was strong enough for Bulkhead to feel as well. He wouldn't pry, if Prowl wanted to tell him he would, so for the time being he was content holding him close.

"It... it was horrible" Prowl finally broke the silence, his voice shaky. " I could feel myself losing control to it, no matter how hard I tried to resist it". Prowl's body had begun to shiver. "I-I couldn't even think properly, but I... felt terrified".

It wasn't always Prowl admitted to such things so easily, even to Bulkhead. But now he couldn't really keep such think from Bulkhead, either, since the day they bonded their sparks.

Bulkhead held Prowl closer, "is there something i can do to make you feel better?"

"Just... please keep holding me" Prowl sat up and wrapped his arms around Bulkhead's neck, burying his face into it. "I feel safe with you, I wanted to be with you then more than anything" he relaxed against his partner's frame "you're really warm...". Soon after Prowl stopped speaking the last bit of tension in his body released as he fell asleep.

Bulkhead sat there for just a little longer, feeling how Prowl's engine and vents slowed down to a much calmer rhythm. It meant a lot to him that Prowl trusted him this much, and even more that he felt comfortable enough to say it so openly.

Slowly, he rose from his position making sure not to disturb Prowl. As he just laid down Prowl started twitching. Just a little bit at first, but then his engine started revving before he woke up with a panicked yell.

"Are you ok?" Bulkhead stirred and sat up slightly and looked down at Prowl.

Prowl looked around and calmed dow a little when he saw that he was safe. He sighed and slumped against Bulkhead. "I... I don't know..." Prowl's voice was quiet, witn an uncertanty that was so incredibly unlike him. "I don't think I'll be able to recharge right now".

Bulkhead sat up more and held around Prowl, "that's fine, I'll stay here with you for as long as you need".

Prowl slowly relaxed again, sighing "thank you... I apreciate it".

Bulkhead smiled and kissed Prowl gently, "anything for you".

Prowl buried his face against Bulkhead's neck again, trying to calm himself down from waking up so suddenly. He was obviously shaken pretty badly, since he clung to Bulkhead like his life depended on it. And Bulkhead just held him, slowly stroking his back. He had never seen Prowl in such a state, but knowing that Prowl was willing to let him see him like this meant a lot to Bulkhead.

"I'm so glad I have you", Prowl's voice was calm again and he let himself relax into Bulkhead's grasp "I spent so much time all alone, I didn't want to get close to anyone ever again, but I am so glad that we are this close now".

Bulkhead smiled and held Prowl slightly tighter. "I'm glad I have you, too. You know, I never thought that anyone would want to be with me like this... especially someone like you". It wasn't exactly a secret that Bulkhead usually didn't fill the criteria for what the average bot would find attractive, which obviously wasn't good for his self-confidence.

Prowl also increased his grip and leaned up to kiss Bulkhead on the cheek, "well, you were wrong. There's no other bot I would rather be with, don't ever think otherwise".

They kept quietly talking until Prowl gave himself over to the fatigue again and sank against Bulkhead, enjoying the warmth and closeness.

It took a while for Prowl to fall asleep again, and he was still restless. But Bulkhead was there to hold him the entire time, even if it mean he didn't get much sleep himself. Seeing Prowl sleep at least close to peacefully was wort it.

[mygeekcorner]

"Let's get personal" asks: 2, 17, 23, 44, 45, 64 (🥺), 72, 80, 90, 92, and a freebie (answer one question you wish I'd asked)

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I feel like you're supposed to say a celebrity but I think I would just like to meet any of my friends that live too far away ^^;

17: What was the last lie you told?

not sure about an outright lie, cause I'm lousy at those, but I was being purposefully vague when I made bf catch up on the Oshi no Ko manga so as not to spoil anything?

23: How do you vent your anger?

I scream. Depending on what I'm angry about baking might also be involved because lord knows whisking for a fluffy sponge will get all your violent needs out

44: What was the last film you saw?

The Menu when I visited @hobbitsus last week, I can see the appeal even if we weren't blown away

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Probably when I fractured my arm at 17. We were jumping and me and the horse had different opinions about which way to go after landing, and suddenly there was a fence and I was on the ground ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

64: Where is your best friend?

here <3

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) yes, some people for sure but I doubt I'd tell "everyone", that seems like either too much work or no work at all (eg instagram post, which would just be sucky) and I don't want that. But the people I know would be affected? yes. b) I guess I'd try to see as many friends as possible in the time I have if I'm still feeling physically functional, but I don't know any particular activities I would do ^^; c) to an extent? I guess growing up suicidal makes the idea of leaving less scary, but it's not as if I would Like the thought any more because of it now. I quite enjoy this life of mine I've built these days.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

41, which is a reasonable size now that I'm fully grown but being a little squirt who hadn't had my last growth spurt at 11 it was humiliating and I looked like an L

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

they are obviously there to guard me, I fall back asleep knowing I am safe for now

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I think would like to relive one of the sleepovers from when I was in middle school. Not because those are the best bits of my life, but I miss those people. And there was something very good about being 14 and sneaking out through the window in the middle of the night to go to a playground when we were all sugar high, or waking up to the rain on the windows and a friend making up a song about "a frog-man~~ who really was a toad-woman~~ and looking for their lilypad~~", or just falling asleep in a big pile on a too-small bed after watching movies <3

Frrebie: 3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

She lays her clutch, the many eggs of a very successful huntress.

I don't know this book or what it's about but it seemed like a fun question to check. It's one of Magnus sci-fi books.

[ghenry]

2023 YouTube channel recap!

It is now the end of the year, so now I'm looking back at the videos I managed to release in 2023! There weren't too many, but they were all challenging in unique ways. So let's take a look!

Hi-Fi Rush | As Basic As Things Can Get

So, this video is pretty polarizing. And I knew it would be! Hi-Fi Rush received endless praise when it was released in January 2023. Being fairly dabbled in both action platformers and hack-n-slash games, I had to see how it was for myself. And the water of mediocrity splashing at my face was cold enough to convince me I needed to vent about it in video form. I took this video as a lesson on exercising absolute honesty. I feel like I have been holding myself back with a lot of video projects because I was afraid of coming off too strong. But this time I didn't care. I let out my most raw, uncouth feelings about this game because I want to be more comfortable with my voice and assertiveness. In that sense, I think I succeeded. The split ratio would say otherwise, though.

The point of the video: Hi-Fi Rush took advantage of having this specific art style that not a lot of high-end companies really tackle, and that carried it throughout waves of praise, despite having middling game design and lack of confidence in what it actually succeeds in. It underplays its own strength--the hack-n-slash combat-- and pads the game out to a high degree suing boxy platforming with only character dialogue attempting to make it drag less. Games like Devil May Cry and Bayonetta have similar structures where it showcases awkward platforming that isn't very fun to perform, but they both go elbow-deep with their pure combat (which takes up the majority of their campaigns) because the developers were confident in the hack-n-slash gameplay. Tango did not have that confidence, which is why the majority of the gameplay is boxy platforming that lacked any sense of urgency or challenge.

Also, the writing sucks complete ass and Chai is a terrible example of writing an unlikable protagonist. Nothing will ever convince me otherwise. I'm so sick of everyone trying to make their own Spider-Man.

I don't regret this video, even a little bit. I don't care how many people unsubscribed, if they're not here to take in my thoughts and feelings, what are they here for? Because that's all I'm doing and will continue to do with my channel.

Crime is Crime | The Silver Case Analysis

This was something I've wanted to do for years, but prioritized Travis Strikes Again as well as No More Heroes 3. Even so, The Silver Case was a daunting project. I'm not a professional writer, I never took any elective courses for it throughout my school career. I don't consider myself even remotely smart, never-mind 'an intellectual.' I'm not even that familiar with philosophy and such, so part of me was thinking "Do I even have the capacity to analyze this game?" literally every single second I was writing, capturing, and editing the video.

Regardless, in the end, I think I got a good grasp of the story and was able to dissect a lot of it in a satisfying manner.

The point of the video: Crime will always exist, but what's more interesting is the source of it. The motivation of an individual, a society, or even a corporation. The game also showcases a lot of elements and even narrative quirks that would be prevalent in Suda51's future directing gigs. I think he and his crew have some fine critiques on things like capitalism, police justice, and what it means to be a part of a controlled society. It doesn't give any answers in how you can change the worst parts of a society, but it isn't really meant to in any real way, it just isn't that simple.

Analyzing Henry Cooldown | The Devil In the Details

What started out as a little defense piece for Henry in No More Heroes 3 ended up much longer and more in-depth than I initially planned. While looking over his dialogue, appearance, and overall design, I realized there is so much more to this living plot-twist.

The point of the video: I think Henry represents the devil for Travis Touchdown. And this further accentuates what I've pontificated in my full analysis of NMH3, that Travis is stuck in this eternal form of hell. While Suda has never explained --and probably never will-- what he was trying to say with games like NMH, I like to think having Travis be cursed with eternal battle, eternal recognition, and eternal brand potency (like many video game icons) was something he was considering, at least by the time he was making NMH3.

And, sure, I've analyzed and described Henry to mean different things, but so what? He can be more than one thing. Nothing is certain, a lot of this will remain open for interpretation. That's art.

Grasshopper's Translator | James Mountain Interview

Earlier this year I got to have a nice, long chat with James Mountain, the main translator/interpreter of Grasshopper Manufacture! I wanted his input since he was the sole individual given the task to translate the entirety of The Silver Case from beginning to end. I ended up learning a lot about him as well as the process of such a dense job that is interpreting a visual novel completely by yourself. I also thought it'd make a good exercise if I ever want to release videos like this again. I had fun learning how to make audio visualizers as well as including visual context during our conversations.

The point of the video: There was a lot of debate (and bickering) in regards to the English interpretation of the game, and I figured who better to clarify their process of the whole thing than the interpreter himself? I had a lot of fun conducting this interview, and there were a lot of bits I didn't use for my analysis video, so I figured it would make a nice bonus for everyone!

That's everything from this year! I'm really proud of how all of these videos came out, and I'm itching to keep going, expressing myself to my best ability! But I think a little break is in order. Thank you so much if you have read up to here! Have a great rest of your holiday, and I'll catch you in 2024!

[vegtable-bucket]

This is a very long and self indulgent vent post. Feel free to disregard and tw for sucidial ideation. I am currently seeking help but I needed to vent.

So 2023 I think is the official worst year of my life. I thought as the years went on life would like.... get easier??? But no lmao it somehow gets progressively harder and I feel like I am completely drowning and suffering at every turn. I will essentially plan a little treat for myself and that treat will then turn into like a comical death trap of some sort. I feel like whoever is controlling my sim is trying to torture me.

I'm just going to list the terrible things that I've had to deal with since I have what 5 months left of this year to claw my way through?

My cat was diagnosed with cancer. That cancer spread so rapidly in the span of one week, I got her diagnosis on her last day on earth.

Prior to this, she was puking 3 times a day and so I was cleaning up puke and sobbing over her for a month striaght

Vet bills

The doctor who did the biopsy of my cats cancer didn't relay how severe her cancer was causing me to have to spend 5 hours in the the ER. I was separated from my cat during those 5 hours. My phone was on 1%. Ready player one was my only entertainment. Many dogs got checked before my blood puking cancer ridden cat. The person at the front desk said "we only treat several emergencies first." Meaning vomiting blood isn't urget............. wild.

Obviously I had to put my cat down. She was 7 years old. I miss Pirate everyday. I used to call her an angel from outerspace, now she's really sailing around up there.

I had to do this without my husband present because he was at.... his grandma's funeral in England. I couldn't go because I was taking care of our dying cat. I find this to be an especially twisted fate since he left right before I had a psychotic break due to all the stress

I got covid. And I got it like a month ago in the middle of the summer. This ate away at my travel time making it so I couldn't see one of my friends in portland.

I got exposed to covid over the weekend and if I get sick again my job will take my remaining 3 days off. This is my last year in America and if those days are taken from me I won't be able to see my family for the holidays

I dont get to leave this hell country this year after excitedly telling everyone I was out of here. Embaressing.

Every single trip I have planned this year has been a complete disaster

I either didn't get to see the friend I planned to see, or my time with that friend was limited to reasons outside of either of our control leaving me to feel completely isolated, lonely and like nobody's priority or important friend (even though that's irrational)

I've had an issue with almost every single flight I've taken this year. Will it be delayed or canceled making me have to take the flight that makes it so arrive home at 4am? The answer is always yes!

My job had revealed itself to be a toxic work enviornement before but it continues to worsen.

My job makes me want to kill myself, like actively. I've had the worst suicidal ideation of life since I was 13 and having to visit my abusive and neglectful father

Somehow, at 27, all of my trauma seems to be bubbling up in the worst possible way and nobody in my support system is close to me right now/alive.

Guess what? In an ironic twist of fate applying to jobs also makes me want to kill myself and I find to be a dramatic waste of time.

My husband and I set up trips around this time of year which made it so when his grandmother died, he will have seen me once in the span of 4 weeks. Meaning the only person who I can mourn the loss of my cat with is gone. I will be coming home to an empty house when I return tomorrow and my depression is not making it easy to take care of myself

Living in America has never seemed more dystopian. My rights are simply withering away while inflation stacks up. It's been an expensive year by itself but the recession isn't helping

I feel completely lost on what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to be financially stable (as I am lucky enough to be now) but I'm unsure of my future in england. I don't know if I really should pursue my masters because I feel my entire body aching to do something I enjoy and I have no idea if I'll ever be able to work in a field that improves people's lives and doesn't make me want to kill myself

I will never be mentally emotionally or financially stable enough to have kids. Having them seems terrifying to me. I cry for my younger self imagining her life and how unfair the world was to her, and wondering why I was born if not to suffer

I can barely focus on anything in my life anymore. I feel like my attention span has stopped working and I can only do a task for 15 minutes before feeling exhausted

Crippling weed dependency

I can't remember the last time I felt geniunely happy. If I spend anytime not listening to something or distracting myself my brain is essentially torturing and harassing me and telling me the many ways in which I should kill myself

I cannot afford a grippy sock vacation to make me not kill myself. I feel like I'd want to be there for a whole month and that's probably like 800k and would mean losong my job lmao

Having to wait for life to improve slowly on its own is agonizing to me as I really just want to leave America as quickly as I can to get away from it all. And then I remember all the things and people and places I will miss and I get this unearthly ache of sadness.

I'm also not blind and know terf island (england) is also doing remarkably terrible and I will be moving to a very xenophobic country far away from the familiar.

Everything that happens on the news now makes me fully believe I'm living in a dark comedy about a species that is run by a group of people so greedy that they are racing to extinction

*gestures widely at the state of everything*

I visited my dad's side of the family without nick (husband) present and not only did they bully and antagonize me the entire time, but they also said the most off the wall insanely racist shit I've ever heard in my life. So vile i was physcially ill after interacting with them. But I have to keep up appearances for my future wedding.

I want to cut them out of my life so fucking bad it's unreal. My mom is begging and pleading with me to not do it but being around such vile people makes me physically ill.

This things I used to love now feel distant and boring to me now. I feel like it's so hard to laugh at anything anymore

The real kicker for this is I always pack period items just in case, and I didn't for once and now I am dealing with painful cramps at 3am away from ibprofin and like all of civilization

Okay that's it. I hope none of you read this it's incredibly self indulgent and pitying. I feel as though I've never been allowed to be sad and it's all bubbling up this year and suffocating me. And then people keep telling me to not kill myself which makes me feel guilty for wanting to end it all in the first place. I've always hated asking for help, I hate people feeling sorry for me, I hate struggling. I've never even attempted because im too chickenshit.

Can't wait to share this post in therapy. Which I won't be able to afford for awhile.

I miss feeling joy.

[the-voidkin-playground]

vent post, tw for possible? ptsd (just some potential symptoms), eating/food issues, anxiety, etc. etc.

been thinking about band we dropped out during band camp, before freshman year we were in there for about a month? i believe?

it was nonstop suffering it was the worst we had been since we were 12 years old

we could hardly eat, we felt sick all the time, like we were about to vomit and/or pass out we were always in pain, we couldn't stand without hurting so much

we were under so much stress, we couldn't keep up, we were never good enough to keep up with everyone else we had always been behind in band, even in middle school, because they made us redo our first year of band since we missed the last few months because of the pandemic causing school to get canceled

we tried to watch a video of a performance, from our school band, the other day the one that they were making us practice to do, learning the songs, the choreography, all that stuff

we couldn't get past the second song just hearing the music and seeing the choreography that we were forced to play and march to, over and over again it made us feel sick and like we were about to cry

we can't think about it without panicking, the guilt and shame from leaving the band eat away at us, while the pain and distress haunt us we never want to go back to the band, but we wonder if it was a mistake to leave, maybe it would've gotten better, maybe we would've been okay i think the fact that we can't listen to the band's music without extreme distress says otherwise though

every time we hear or think about those songs, we want to cry, we can feel the pressure and memories digging their claws into us and trying to drag us back in we're never going back

we have no idea if it's ptsd or even trauma, since we think it shouldn't have warranted that extreme of a reaction, but it's affected us severely i think that one month of band camp was probably one of the unhealthiest points of our entire life getting too little sleep, not eating enough, always feeling sick, being anxious all the time, being in pain constantly, feeling so hopeless and trapped it was a nightmare

i think it caused some bad habits in the opposite direction as well we ended up overeating, when we stopped feeling so sick after a few weeks of being out of band camp we gained a lot of weight from it we became inactive, because any activity felt terrible after being forced to overexert and overwork ourselves five days every week for a month

we ended up becoming very avoidant of the band, and anything to do with playing music, for a while we had given up on it, so why bother? we didn't play anything for months afterwards, and we still hardly play, despite how much we used to enjoy it we still don't go to games or band performances i think we'd have a breakdown if we tried

maybe someday, we can stop associating being in a band with pain and suffering, and we can enjoy playing instruments again maybe we could join a small, non-school band, that won't force us to play and march for hours and hours every single week maybe we could find that community we so desperately longed for and felt like we had lost when we quit

i don't know someday, we'll feel better about it, and won't panic and feel trapped from the first few notes of a song, or the marching choreography of the band

anyway, we mightt have more ptsd symptoms than we thought thought it was just from other things, this may also be contributing though partner sys told us that it was a traumatic experience, because of being forced to do things we didn't want to, and the amount of pain and distress we felt from it

but anyway haha if you read this far, just like, don't mention this, i don't want to think about it any more than i need to and if you know me irl, i am dealing with it, i'm trying to cope, i am alright i'm just a little quirky, yknow? anyway, i'm going to try to sleep now, and hopefully stop thinking about this

[caitlinsnicket]

your first kiss with them (arcane preference)

a/n: I hope you like it, feel free to interact with it as you wish. If you feel so inclined, you can support me on my ko-fi!

| Jinx

she was showing you one of her newest inventions and venting about how she didn't know how to make it work

you suggest a little change and, surprise, it actually works!

her pupils are blown wide, she doesn't know if she looks at her project or at you, there's sparkles flying everywhere and you look so damn good right now

"I think I wanna kiss you, bubbles"

she just stares right at you, looking for signs of disgust or dissaproval on your face

you smile at her, your cheeks red, and you nod

she lunger for your face and keeps her hands on your cheeks, furrowing her brows at how good this feels

"I don't think I want to stop now"

cue a 30 min make-out session filled with incoherent comments and her grimy hands pulling your hair softly

she likes the way you feel under her fingertips, and so begins her newest obsession: you

| Vi

after running like hell trying to escape from enforcers, you two end up in an alley catching your breath

she looks at you and all she can see is this wild, amazing girl who's been there for her in the worst moments of her life, so beautiful with her cheeks flushed that she can barely hold herself back from taking you right then and there

"you okay?" you ask, true concern in your features, and her heart sweels

she can't help but get a little closer to you, touching your hips lightly and cornering you in the wall

"yeah, I'm fine"

you two stare at each other, the air getting thicker and warmth spreading through your bodies

"we should go" she mumbles, tilting her head to the side and placing her knee in front of your legs

"yes, we should" you whisper, almost pleading, biting your lip and leaning againts her

when it becomes too much her just closes that distance and kisses you, pulling you up a little and squeezing her body against yours and sighing

"I wanted to do that for some time now" she says into your lips, holding your neck and hair as if she was scared you'd run away

"took you long enough" you reply, clinging to her

she completely forgets about your escape and the people you're running away from

| Caitlyn

you're a bad influence

taking her to see secret parts of town in the middle of the night after her parents fell asleep, introducing her to drinks and foods, teaching her how to dance

all that is so new and for the first time she feels free

without realizing, she develops a crush on you and in all you represent to her

one night, right before sunrise, when you bring her back and help her to get in her bedroom through the window, staying on the outside to say your goodbyes

she's flushed, glowing so much your eyes hurt

"same time next week?" she asks, getting closer to you and letting her hand hover your cheeks

"maybe, but I have to take care of something first. it's a dillema actually"

"what?"

"it's a girl I like. but she doesn't seem to notice me"

she turns in a tomato and brushes her hair out of her face, inching even closer

"maybe she does. maybe she's just too afraid to tell you. maybe she doesn't know if you like her back" her eyes are cast below you, biting her lip

you get those seconds of courage you needed, and touch her cheeks

yearning in her eyes, tinting her face and lips

before you can properly kiss her, she does it first, holding her window sill so tight her fingers turn white

sighs into it and purrs whenever you touch her

almost pulls you inside

"caitlyn, are you awake dear?" her mom's voice echoes through the house, and both of you freeze

you can see her smiling shyly as you jump away in the rooftops, the taste of her chapstick still in your mouth

| Ekko

you two have been friends for your whole lifes, even though the feelings you have for each other are blooming into something else

so you basically do everything together, including the face painting

you have your own mark, one you two came up with similar to his

so after a shower it's time to re-touch it, and he goes to your bedroom

it's hard to breath, in a good way

he's shirtless, and waiting for you near a window for better lighting

he lets you touch his face, and is unusually quiet, eyes dark with something you don't understand yet

"want me to paint you next?" he asks, fingers grazing your arm

"we're out of paint, I'll do it later. there's only enough for you"

"not if we share it" he smiles in a relaxed way, and your heart melts

it's so good to see him just being... a boy

he pulls you to him and grinds his face on yours, painting your cheeks and nose

your laugh mixes and you feel at home

it slowly stops, and you two just stare at each other, entangled and so close you can feel his breath on your cheek

then he wipes your left cheek with one hand, and doesn't pull away

"there. now you're marked. my sidekick"

your face goes hot

"yours?"

his eyes widen and you kiss him, smudging more paint everywhere, and he still doesn't let go

"mine" he whispers against your lips

| Silco

there was always tension between the two of you, even if he didn't want to admit it or act on his feelings

then, something goes wrong and there's a raid of enforcers all over Silco's territory

you and Jinx go missing, and Sevika can't find you

he can't find you

the closest thing he had to family, and he just let it slide between his fingers

he's about to order a generalized attack to piltover, he's ready to see everything burn to the ground, when he finds Jinx in his office

and you're there too

you watch as they hug and comfort each other, and then he sends her to a safe place, guarded by his men

it's just the two of you

you interpret his expression as anger, maybe even resentment, and you're scared he might send you away

but he just hugs you for a long time, burying his face in your hair

"don't ever do that again, you hear me? never"

he holds your face in his hands, looking for any injuries, and when he sees none he kisses you, brows furroed

so so tender

from then on, you don't leave his side

| Viktor

vicky boy doesn't sleep

being his assistant, you get to see his sleep deprivation up close

spending so much time with each other, feelings started to develop, and each day it became harder for viktor to stop himself from just confessing to you every time he saw you

one night, after about a week of tinkering and going to sleep at 6 am, you get enough of it

practically dragging him to his bedroom, yoju push and pull until he's taken off his uncomfortable clothes and laid down in his bed

before you can leave and think about what you just did, he holds your wrist, already drifting off to sleep

"stay, зая"

you melt, despite not understanding what he meant

not giving a second thought, you get in bed with him, huddling closer until your legs are entangled and your face is buried in the crook of his neck

the night goes by, and you both wake up at the same time

one of his neighbors started screaming with their partner

one moment of staring, and then he just pecks your lips, enjoying your warmth and softness

"i could get used to this" he murmurs, kissing your neck, his voice hoarse

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