#just need to work 40+ hours like everyone else and suck it up. two days off if that everyone else does fine with it. at least then my body w

[theood]

Idk. Sorry once again all I do is complain complain complain whine and complain I'm so fucking unhappy with everything in my life and I just straight up don't see the way out ever being available to me. I have wasted every year of my life since first grade

[defilerwyrm]

I'm a trans man who wants phallo SO bad but the Fear Mongering people do makes me so scared. I have such a fear of surgery anyway and people say phallo is nearly 23hrs long, and it has more risks than heart surgery does, and idk if these are true bc I'm too scared to google it..But I want it so bad, but the stuff I hear scares me. Also people saying it doesn't have any sensation worries me. You said trans men can ask about it so I hope this is ok to do on anon!!! I'd appreciate a non fear filled reply so much thanks!!

23 hours!! Those poor surgeons, can you imagine!

Virtual hugs if you’re the hugging type, Anon, and a cool rock if you’re not.

Those things are definitely not true, not remotely. It’s a long surgery, but when I say it’s long that means it’s about 8 hours all told. It sounds like maybe someone heard it referred to as an “all-day” thing meaning a full WORK day, but instead assumed that that meant a full CALENDAR day. Or, you know, a transphobe made shit up to scare people.

It is most definitely not nearly as risky to your wellbeing as a surgery in which they saw open your sternum and cut open your actual beating heart. There is a fairly high chance of a minor complication that can result in the terrible ordeal of getting pee on your pants sometimes—a urethral fistula—and in most cases, they close up on their own anyway without needing another surgery to correct them. And in this case, “fairly high” means 40%, so it’s still less than half a chance that it’ll happen in the first place. At worst it’s annoying. Serious complications, the type that put you in danger, are extremely rare.

The sensation thing is also false, because they literally harvest a length of nerve from your donor site and hook it up to your existing bits specifically so you WILL have sensation! Sure, it takes a little while for the nerve to heal, but that’s just the reality of ANY surgery.

The nerve grows back in your donor site, too, by the way. While I was typing this up I discovered that one particular spot on my graft is ticklish.

Everyone has their own individual healing factor, but speaking for myself, I had full erotic sensation before the 3-month mark, and the orgasms have been incredible. The head and base are highly sensitive, and everything in between responds pretty damn nicely too, just less of a hit-the-ceiling level of sensitivity. And, you know, if you’ve handled an AMAB person’s penis much at all you’ll know that’s pretty much in keeping with how their dicks work too.

It is an in-patient surgery so if you have it, you’ll be staying in a hospital for a few days so they can keep an eye out for rare disasters. My stay was four or five days of snoring most of the day and periodically getting woken up to eat or answer some simple check-in questions, lift my arm for nurses to move stuff, etc, and then conking back out.

Being cathed sucks, but two weeks of frequent trips to the toilet to drain your bag is honestly nothing compared to a lifetime without (or with vastly reduced) bottom dysphoria. That’s the part that I hated. Everything else was your typical recovery: 10-15 days of sleeping 20 hours a day, then however many weeks of being tired, taking meds, and careful washing, gradually feeling more and more normal until you’re back up to full and ready to get back to business as usual.

Except with this one, you get to learn to pee standing up in the process. :D

(Protip: don’t try a public urinal until you’ve got it down pat at home. Not because of cis men, but because the learning process is messy, lol! The overwhelming majority of cis men in public restrooms want nothing to do with anyone else while they’re in there. The only place anyone’s gonna give your dick more than half a second’s accidental glance is in a gay bar. In 8+ years of using public men’s rooms I have yet to see one (1) penis that wasn’t mine!)

[hobisexually]

Sooo I don’t know how you’re feeling right now and if you can relate but lately I feel like I’ve just been working allll the time and don’t have any time to think and pause? I’m 30 years old, single since forever I guess, and life just keeps on flowing without anything really happening apart from work. I get home, eat, watch some series or something, go to sleap and repeat? And I want to change things up but I just really don’t have the energy to??

hiya darling, ironically enough I didn’t answer this yet because… I didn’t have any time to think and pause dndnd

no, but, I understand you, I really do. I felt the same for a really long time and even though I really love my job, and I would probably still do it even if I was a millionaire, the repeat and the being so wiped out from giving everything at work was too much for me. especially with covid in between, the only thing I focussed on was work (because all social events were out of the question, and if they weren’t they were out of the question for me specifically because I was really very fucking terrified about getting covid so I cancelled almost everything). work was all I had so I gave it my everything and then realised I didn’t want to live life like this

the problem is, though, that we also have something to prove? especially when you’re young and just starting out (30 is still young and at the beginning of your career) so I gave myself some goals and some time and then started looking into ways I could do work a little easier. what I found was that I was much happier when I worked four days a week instead of five but I realise that’s not a possibility for everyone because we need the money, but maybe you can look into working 4x9? Or 36 hours instead of 40? because even only working Friday mornings rather than the whole Friday makes a difference for me

and I also made myself do at least one fun thing during the weekend or at night during the week. fun can mean anything that’s relaxing to you — sports, art, shopping, meeting up with friends, partying, or just going for a walk through nature. I know how hard it is to do anything when you’re this tired and when work and society demands this much of you but when the balance is skewed you need something that refreshes you. I’m not saying push through all your tiredness, definitely rest where you can, but there are different types of rest and sometimes going into nature, venting at a friend in person or exercising also is rest. mental rest, emotional rest, a rest from the burdens you carry…. it matters and also gives you more energy to do things in the long run

idk, the balance is hard and I tend to overdo it and then crash again because I gave too much, but when I did it just right I feel so much better about my life in general as well, it’s about finding out what works for you. and I also don’t know whether there’s anything you go through that makes your energy levels even lower so if you know there’s something chronic at play for you, of course take that into account or make the activities smaller, but life isn’t about work. we work to live, we don’t live to work, even if society and work try to tell you differently.

but this they don’t tell you about adulthood, right? and I’m sorry you’re in a slump, I was in it for two years as well and it felt horrible. and it’s still there sometimes, and sometimes there are weeks I cannot get out of bed outside of work at all and I just accept my fate — that is okay too as long as it doesn’t last too long, you know?

also. the being single thing fucking sucks and it gnaws at me every fucking day, I really get you and I don’t have much to say on that that you’re not already feeling or thinking, just know I understand and I deeply hate it too. that’s the one thing I’m still stuck on as well and I hate that everyone else seems to be able to date so easily 🥲

[toehwa6]

What’s up partner wanna talk about chronic pain?

Here’s the scoop on chronic pain, at least in my perspective.

So everyone is different, but my shit is I’m 25 with a fuckin degenerative disc disorder which for me is when your fuckin bones just go away. It fucking sucks and it gave me stenosis, two partially herniated discs, and now I’m starting to get fuckin sciatica.

As you can imagine, but back fuggin hurts all the fuckin time, except when I’m walking or on Valium.

Unfortunately I can only walk like 2.5 miles, stand for 40 min, and sit for like 20-30 but when im sitting im fucked and I usually have to get up a bunch.

My life rn is fucked cause I literally do PT for 30min in the morning(not too bad), an hour in the afternoon, and then another 30min session before bed.

All in between im fuckin walking on a treadmill or juggling because I learned to do that recently so I have a something to do while im standing. (Actually very nice)

Anyway, down to the meat of it.

The shit I just described is fucking horrible, and some days I can’t walk or go and do shit like work or get groceries. And everytime I think the pain can’t get worse it does.

But fr the shittiest part about chronic pain *for me* is the fuckin depression that comes along with it.

All I think about all the time is

Im a burden, im worthless, im stuck here, I invalidate myself and my disability even tho Im in pain and can’t walk.

I went to a chronic pain seminar and they focused on the intrusive thoughts.

But they talked about things like

Is the pain ever gonna go away, is the pain ever gonna get worse, am I ever gonna get better

None of those applied to me

Imo those are thoughts you have in the first 6 months of chronic pain, but then you adjust and you don’t care anymore. At least I didn’t after awhile.

I accepted that my situation was fucked, it was never going away, and it was only going to get worse.

Easy peezy

But that weight is always replaced by something else.

Now I hate myself because I’ll never be better than what I am now.

I can’t go to school or have a career I want.

I can’t travel or do things I want to do.

I can’t even be comfortable in my house anymore.

All the while I’m just so focused on not bothering anyone with my problem’s because I’m so afraid of being a burden.

About 8 years ago, my little brother passed away. It took me years to not be known as the dead brother guy.

Now I’m just the disability back pain guy.

I don’t want to be that. I just want to be me.

But for anyone looking in, especially when I can’t hide it. That’s what they see.

It’s funny when people say if they had what I have they would just kill themselves. Like I get it lol. It’s nice to laugh instead of be pitied.

It makes me feel so bad when people have to make accommodations for me.

I spent my whole life trying to be as independent as possible, and now I’m in a position where I NEED to rely on others.

Idk. I know how having chronic pain can make you feel hopeless.

But everyone I’ve talked to who is also in my position are the most positive and ambitious people I’ve met. They want to live their lives so much.

It’s people looking in with their oh no that must suck glasses that assume how I feel.

And that’s why it sucks that people think being in pain all the time when for me it’s just the depression.

I feel so bad that I’m choosing to just push through the pain to have a full time job because I don’t want to feel like a loser anymore.

I’ll literally be taking a pay cut and I’ll have to work more which will be hard. But idc because at least I’ll feel like I have a purpose and I’m doing something.

People always say, but toehwa6, you have a part time job, and you’re fucked! What are you gonna do!

I’m gonna do whatever the fuck I want even if I want to kill myself the whole time.

Hopefully it makes my depression better.

I’m starting to just ramble and shit but idk I hope you read it.

I just say push til tomorrow and it’ll be better. Even if it sucks too or it’s worse just tell yourself tomorrow will be better.

Just do what you want to do

Thanks

[omegawolverine]

puts my chin in my hands n kicks my feet behind me. bff do u have any headcanons for craig and those guys, i love the way ur brain interprets these silly paper cutout guys ^_^

yaaaa ofc bestie <3

craig:

-is a movie snob but not in a "this movie needs to be the most well written film Ever" way, he's a snob in a "if this movie isnt so bad my sides hurt from laughing i just wont fucking watch it" way. seed of chucky is peak film to him

-has two left feet but likes to dance <3 his lanky body does not agree with the movement but that wont stop him from bussin it down celibate style or whatever they call it nowadays

-used to build wooden model airplanes and then paint them with tricia (i almost typed ruby somebody take my hands away), most of them are hung in her room but craig kept a few

-this mfer the type to go to college with literally zero plan, decide to take art after being undecided for as long as possible, hate art bc they make him do other types of art besides what he normally does, then drop out or smth along those lines

token:

-the worst excuse for a mom friend but the guys dont care. he can't cook. he will send them a text just saying "go bed" at like 10pm before immediately going to bed himself and not bothering to see if any of them actually Plan To Sleep. carries around bandaids but will not give them out unless they are deserved (you fell jumping off the swing? dont jump of the swing next time, bitch. no bandaid for u). literally only the mom friend bc nobody else could fill the role

-white chicks is unironically his favorite movie, right next to the medea halloween movie (incase yall forgot token canonically likes tyler perry movies. i cannot blame him. they suck so bad they're good)

-he dresses like a 60 year old dad going fishing or like he is going to the most important meeting of his life, no inbetween

-wants to learn an instrument really bad but has sucked at every single one he's tried so far, not to mention he cant read sheet music for shit.

-is the only one in his class who can write in cursive but he only learned bc both his parents wrote in cursive and he got tired of not being able to be nosey when he found notes around the house. turns out they were mostly grocery lists and appointment reminders.

clyde:

-he/they user

-^ goes thru a gender identify crisis in the 10th grade before goin nah. just a dude who likes they/them pronouns sometimes.

-is on the football team all throughout high school but only bc they need more players. everyone knows he sucks at the game. he does not gain any sort of popularity from being on the team, but he stays so he has an excuse to get out of the house more 🤷‍♀️

-dylexic AND dyscalcic. double whammy! with a side of adhd <3

-is craigs certified dance partner whenever the dude starts jamming. craig will just drag him out to the middle of the room and make him lead in a shitty foxtrot.

-speaking of craig, the height difference between them is crazy. craig gets tall, ofc, but clyde is just kinda. at his chest. face in boobies. it's like u got the absolutely twig of a man at 6'4" and then there's his bestie at 5'6", dragging him around by their linked arms.

tweek:

-despite the whole meth thing, regular coffee is actually apart of his enrichment. it's like the adhd meds he never got, without the extra upper of doing way too much meth on a day to day basis! is a fan of the starbucks iced carmel frappes.

-likes to cook when he is overwhelmed but cooking for him means being up and moving the entire time otherwise he will start to overthink again. he cant do none of that oven cook shit. give him a meal that requires a lot of prep work and watching the stove so he will be busy for a good hour and suddenly it's like he was never upset to begin with.

-an alt baby <3 screamo calms him

-^ wants to take the guys to a concert but clyde "has never listened to something not in the top 40s" donovan and craig "nearly died in the pit at a local punk gig that kenny dragged him to" tucker are against this idea.

jimmy:

-him 🤝 craig

shitty scifi movies

-^ anything with bad aliens in it will become his new obsession for like 4 months and everyone will have to hear about it. hyperfixation go brrr or whatever

-hates scripting sets for the life of him. like. will just write down jokes and hope he remembers bc he cannot be fucked to actually attempt to stick with his own plans

-speaking of scripts, he enjoys a bit of acting but, again, cannot be fucked with scripts. he hates memorizing and feels like it sounds more. well. scripted, when he actually memorizes lines, rather than just getting the jist of his lines and how his character acts and improving it. this technique has mixed results and, obviously, does not go over well with other people he is supposed to be acting with

-^ that being said he is a hit in improv classes ofc

-becomes a big fan of photography sometime in high school, is the resident phototaker both of the group and the grade. if people are posting a candid group photo, it's probably from him

[frankiekatt]

Wowy hii, saw that you're writing for slasher, so here I am!

Can I plz have some hcs about any slashers with s/o, but their s/o is a literal gremlin, like they're not serious at all, always joking and annoying people around, but sometimes might be quite soft and quiet.

Thank you and have a nice day! ❤️

This was fun to write lmao

Warnings: Sexual harassment, NSFW, murder, blood, canabilism

Characters: Thomas Hewitt, Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Billy Lenz, Stu Macher, Michal Myers

Slashers With An S/O That Never Takes Anything Seriously:

Thomas Hewitt:

Thomas is a little overwhelmed by your personality at first.

He’s a quiet and reserved man who’s never had any kind of friends, so goofiness and jokes can make him feel uneasy at first.

But!! He gets used to everything very quickly!!!

Thomas loves everything about you and he finds you to be incredibly charming.

He can get a little anxious when he sees you annoying Hoyt because he doesn’t want his uncle to do anything bad to you in irritation/retaliation.

Your jokes are always a stress reliever for him, since he spends most of his days in a dark basement, surrounded by blood and gore. Your humor just shines a little bit of light on his day, and he loves you for that!

While Luda Mae and Hoyt might not like the fact that you never take anything seriously, Thomas finds it relieving. At the beginning of your relationship, Thomas was terrified of losing you because he thought you would be terrified of all screams, murder, and cannabilism, but he was pleasantly surprised to see that you didn’t pay much mind to it.

Thomas’ family mostly saw you as a clown, but Thomas could only ever look at you as the brightest ray of sunshine that has ever graced his life.

After all, he was the only one that saw your softer side.

Your soft and quiet side mostly shone through during the evening. Something about the sunset and cicada chirping calmed your heart.

You would often take Thomas by the hand and lead him outside to sit on the front porch with you, so the two of you could cuddle and watch the sunset together.

Thomas was always so used to your voice, because you loved to talk about anything and everything, so your temporary quiet nature was new, yet comforting.

During these moments, there didn’t need to be any talking between the two of you. You deep emotional bond allowed you both to communicate through actions.

You would lay your head on Thomas shoulder, stroking his chest, and Thomas would wrap his big arms around your smaller frame, resting his masked cheek against the top of your head.

This was Thomas’ way of saying, “I love you, you’re the best thing in my life,” and your way of saying “I could never live without you.”

Bo Sinclair:

:|

You’re gonna annoy the fuck out of this boy

Sometimes you both wonder how the two of you even got together, but the nights you and Bo spent pleasuring each other, going round after round, reminded you both how. (Your both just sexy okay its that simple)

Bo was a serious guy, so he was a little miffed that he was always the one having to take the lead in everything since you just couldn’t stop making a joke out of everything.

Sometimes you would actually make him really irritated due to your tendency to irk people endlessly, so he would have to step away to cool off and blow off some steam.

Sometimes he would yell at you in anger, which always made him feel like shit after, so he tended to stalk off to his shop to calm down before speaking to you.

You would have to go see him a couple hours later to wrap your arms around him from behind and shyly apologize to him.

He favored these moments the most.

Your voice quieter than usual, focusing on just him, touching him gently.

He would always accept your apologies, of course, and would let you know by kissing your lips softly.

Bo liked to take advantage of your softer side by lifting you up by your waist and setting you on the hood of whatever car he had been working on and kissing down your neck.

As revenge, Bo liked to draw out his teasing as long as possible. Kissing down your neck, chest, stomach, massaging your pussy through your skirt, palming your breast roughly.

It gets to a point where you just have to tell him, “Bo, I need you to fuck me.”

And he would oblige.

He would take you right then and there, on the hood of the car.

The metal beneath you was always shockingly cold, making you shiver against Bo’s chest.

“You cold, Darlin,” Bo would ask teasingly as he pulled your panties off. “Don’t worry, I’ll warm you right up.”

He would spend hours licking your pretty pink pussy if he could. He licks and sucks and kisses your most intimate part until you're shaking and crying above him, begging him to fuck you sensless.

After he’s satisfied with your helplessness, he’ll lean back up and ram himself inside of you. There have been many nights where he has taken you gently and slowly in his garage, holding your hand with every thrust, kissing your sweet lips to quiet your whimpers, but tonight was different. There was a primal need shared between you two. Bo wanted to let his frustrations on through loving you, and you wanted to be taken hard and fast.

When the two of you are done, you lounge around inside the car to catch your breath, holding hands. Everything seems so perfect.

Until-

“Hey, Bo? What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?”

“.....”

“I want you inside me! Eh ha ha..”

:////

Lester Sinclair:

!!!!!

You like constantly joking and never taking things seriously? He does too!!

Lester would find you absolutely hilarious. Every joke you cracked would have him doubling over in laughter. Which would make you double over in laughter. Which would make Lester laugh harder, because now you both have the giggles and both of your laughs are just too infectious.

Everytime the two of you would go to Ambrose to visit his brothers, you guys would annoy the hell out of Bo and Vincent. Bo just wants to be left alone to work in his shop but instead he’s stuck listening to you tell a 40 minutes story about how you burnt dinner last night.

And Vincent just wants to be left alone to paint and sculpt but instead he’s here listening to Lester crack jokes that are a.) not funny and b.) don’t make any sense. -_-

Your and Lester’s trailer is always filled with so much love and laughter and the two of you could not be any happier.

You both have your own soft and quiet moments that hit at random times.

Sometimes it happens when the two of you are play fighting in the living room, howling with laughter. You both fall to the floor, wrestling and giggling until the both of you run out of breath and just gaze at each other as you lay on the carpet.

“You look so cute,” he giggles.

“No, YOU look so cute!”

“W-well!!! I love you!!”

“Uhm...well...I love you MORE.”

And it just turns into an argument about who adores the other more.

Billy Lenz (1974):

The perfect couple.

Literally.

The two of you are always joking around, cackling and goofing about every little thing.

Billy has finally found his soulmate and he could not be happier.

He two of you prank the sorority girls together, making sex sounds in unison to sound even more vulgar.

Everytime you crack a joke, you get worried Billy is joking because of how hard he’s laughing.

“Umm Billy you okay? It wasn’t even that funny.”

“HA haha...piggy makes me laugh...Billy loves your jokes.”

Needless to say, your relationship is filled with smiles, laughter, and praise.

Billy will tell you you’re the funniest person he’s ever met and he wants to keep you forever.

You tell Billy you love how much he laughs at your antics and that you can’t live without him.

It’s impossible to annoy Billy. It’s just not feasible.

Any time you try, he’ll just giggle and pat your head, telling you you’re his ‘favorite piggy ever.’

He LOVES when you annoy the sorority girls thoug!

Hearing you moan and squeal and speak so sexily vulgarly to Barb and Jess makes Billy so proud. And horny.

Almost all of your sexual encounters are filled with complete silliness.

Sometimes, however, the joking and cackling subside. The two of you will just be chilling, nothing else to do, and you just feel the need to profess your love for your boyfriend.

“I love you so much Billy.”

Billy will look startled at your sudden outburst, before he breaks out in a huge grin, launching across the room to tackle you into a hug.

“Billy loves you too! Billy loves you more than anything!!!”

Now the rest of your day will be spent in Billy’s arms, whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Stu Macher:

Match made in Heaven!

Stu loves to joke around.

He hardly ever takes anything seriously.

He annoys everyone.

And once he meets you? It's love at first sight.

The two of you are always in detention because you guys just cannot shut up in class. You are always disrupting something.

But you know what that means!

Detention dates <3

As long as the two of you together, Stu couldn't care less about where he was.

He and Billy appreciate your habit of not taking anything seriously because once the murders start occuring, you don't think too much about it, never asking questions or arousing suspicion around your boyfriend and his bestie.

When Billy had told Stu his plan to kill Sydney, and asked him if he was going to kill you as well, Stu’s heart sank.

He remembers when he was dating Tatum, just a few months ago, before he broke up with her for you, he had no qualms about killing her,

But you?

He loved you. You were his other half. The one person who understood him, who accepted him. He could never hurt you.

“Nah dude. I’m leaving her out of this.”

That night, he sneaks through your bedroom window to see you.

“Stu! (where the hell have you been loca) What’re you doing here?”

The sparkling smile you flash at him and the love swimming in your big, beautiful eyes makes him feel even guitler.

He feels bad that you’re dating a serial killer. He thinks you deserve better, but he would never let you go.

“Hey babe! I just missed you!”

You rushed over to him, dressed in kitty cat pajamas, and hugged him tight. He had only snuck through your bedroom window a couple of times before, and they had all been planned. Seeing him in your room as a surprise made your heart burst with happiness.

Stu led you to your bed and pulled you up onto his chest to cuddle you. It was late, and the both of you were tired. Stu just wanted to lay with you in silence, appreciating your presence.

You didn’t feel like releasing your usual high energy at the moment. Right now, you just wanted to fall asleep on your boyfriend’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat.

Michael Myers:

Girl

Michael does not appreciate your antics.

Annoying him is easy, but you would never know that.

He keeps his emotions very private, so when he is annoyed he’ll just stalk away from you.

He does not think you’re funny :(

He does enjoy your quiet moments. He likes to come home when your energy is low.

He’s usually covered in blood when this happens, so you clean him up without cracking a joke which he appreciates.

You’ll turn on a movie for the both of you, and Michael lets you cuddle up with him.

He does like you, he just doesn’t want you to know that...

[the-marvelclub]

Don’t forget me

steve rogers x reader

Summary: Steve and reader are happily married, so what happens when a mission goes wrong and Steve is pronounced dead? And what if he comes back but she’s already in a relationship?

Warnings: Fluff, a lot of angst, main character death (?) but with a happy ending.

masterlist

Author’s note: Happy because i finished this in just a few hours, hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always appreciated.

Little caresses of soft fingers running up and down your bare back made you shiver, waking you up, your eyes flutter open.

You groaned and buried your face in the pillow. Steve's chuckle echoed throughout the room before you felt wet kisses being spread all over your lower back, slowly making their way up to your shoulders. Fingers moving your hair to one side exposing your right ear. 

"Good morning, Dollface" he whispered in your ear in his husky voice, which honestly always sounds like that when he just woke up, and he bit your ear lobe making butterflies erupt in your stomach and making you a little giddy.  

You had spent the night in Steve's room, the light soft reddish color coming through the windows and painting the white walls of Steve's room making you aware that it was probably just dawn, the atmosphere was calm and familiar and his bed was certainly a thousand times more comfortable than yours could ever be. 

"Good god, Steve. I bet you it's not even 6:00am" you mumbled sleepily, he might be a super soldier but you needed your 9 hours of sleep. Steve let out a chuckle in your ear again, bringing shivers all over your body. 

"You really look cute when you're half asleep like that" he replied still talking into your ear, running his soft hand all over your back only to then grab your waist, letting his arm rest there. "I want to marry you." 

You smiled before turning your body to be face to face with Steve knowing he wouldn't let you sleep anymore, you pulled the white silk sheet in your best effort to cover your body looking up at him. He was leaning on his left elbow, his right arm still wrapped around your waist, his torso was naked, the sheets on his hips.

"But I already said ‘I do’, baby" you smiled showing him the ring on your left hand and remembering your wedding day. You had been best friends for what seemed like forever before a mission which required you to pretend to be married led to you both confessing your feelings, then you had realized it had all been a plan by the others to finally get you to admit what they had already known for quite some time, that the mission never really required you to go as a couple, but you couldn't be mad at them, quite the opposite, you felt a deep gratitude towards them, because you would never have been able to do it on your own. A year later, Steve had taken you to the roof of the Compound where you could see the distant lights of the skyscrapers of New York, where he had prepared you a dinner with your favorite meals and a bottle of wine and had gotten down on one knee, opening the little red velvet box with the most beautiful ring you had ever seen, he really was a 40s man, full of romance and chivalry.  Six months later you were married.

"Right, but I'm talking about a vow renewal, I just can't believe you're mine, you're like a dream" he let out, the pink painting his cheeks matching yours.  His dirty blonde hair was a mess and his eyes sparkled with pure adoration.  

"You really are full of compliments today, huh?" you smiled bringing your hand to his hair and giving it a little squeeze. You loved this Steve, he had always been romantic and protective of you, but this Steve, the one you only knew in the early morning hours was driving you crazy, the sentimental Steve, full of compliments and caresses and without shirt on. The Steve who could look into your soul with just one look and that lazy smile. The one only you knew. 

"Stop complaining, you know you love it" he said smiling mischievously, like a little boy.  

"I can't complain" you shrugged, sliding your fingers down his hard chest, imagining how good it would look with a couple of tattoos on it. You bit your lip thinking about it before returning your gaze to him, who already had his eyes on you, his eyes glowing, fingers at your waist squeezing. Before you could register what was happening, he had lunged towards you pressing his lips hard against yours, you sighed as you felt his lips sucking on yours and grabbed his cheeks pulling him closer to you, his hands taking your waist and lifting you up to get you on top of him, he bit your bottom lip asking for entrance but you put both hands on his chest putting distance between the two of you, ending the kiss and shaking your head. You still hadn't brushed your teeth. 

He grunted with discontent and pouted, completely adorable, but kept his arms around your waist. You stroked his hair and he closed his eyes, sighing. 

"I really love you" he let out, looking into your eyes, with an expression you couldn't read, he suddenly looked worried and even a little scared. "I would do anything to protect you, you know that right?". 

You frowned. 

"What is this all about?" you asked leaning your face on his chest looking into his eyes. “What’s on your mind?”

He shook his head before giving you a small smile, wanting you to forget the subject. 

"It's the mission, isn't it?" you sighed.

He looked at you for a long moment and you knew the answer. 

Steve along with Fury had been tracking a dangerous organization for months that for some reason were targeting Steve. They both believed it wasn't that big of a threat. They had only sent Steve a couple of death threats, but being Captain America and part of the Avengers, there were always enemies. But when one afternoon, a threat had come to you, Steve got to work and he and Fury had been tracking the origin of these for months and now they finally had a lead.  

"It's probably nothing," he said, "don't worry about it, Fury will go with me on this one. Maybe the lead will be useless." You knew he didn't want to worry you but you couldn't help it, you wanted to go with him this afternoon but you as well as everyone else had other missions to attend to. 

You nodded and kissed his chin reassuringly. 

He placed a kiss on your forehead and released you by turning you to your side of the bed, before getting out of bed, putting on his sweatpants and putting on his white shirt. 

It was your turn to pout, missing his warm body. 

"Come on, Dollface." He said placing his palms on the mattress and leaning over to you "I'll make you those chocolate chip pancakes and when I get back from the mission we're going to watch that Jason Bourne movie you love so much."

You let out an excited squeal and hugged him by the neck pulling him back into bed.  

"You sure know how to spoil a girl."

_

Steve never returned from that mission.

That afternoon you were in the kitchen preparing popcorn for movie night with Steve and the next minute, Fury had come out of the elevator doors, concern filling his face and honestly it was the most you had ever seen him show any emotion, he had quietly approached Tony, ignoring the greetings of the team that was hanging out in the living room, he had taken him to the briefing room and they had been inside for quite a while. You had been watching the elevator doors waiting for Steve to come out of them before deciding to ask Fury, but before you could even take a step, Tony had left the room and the moment you looked at his face, your stomach sank, a horrible feeling surrounding you. You had never seen Tony like that before, the look in his eyes was something you would never be able to describe, he was pale, his eyes seemed sunken and he kept looking nowhere in particular. A few moments later that seemed like hours, he had uttered the words that broke you inside.

Steve hadn't made it.

You don't remember much after that, all you remember is popcorn strewn all over the kitchen floor, a deafening scream that you never realized you had let out, and the pain in your knees as you fell to the floor. You remember screams coming from the others, asking Tony and Fury for explanations and a lot of commotion. But what you could never forget even if you wanted to was the pain of your heart being squeezed inside you and the horrible feeling that now everything would be different.

That had been 1 year and 6 months ago. Since the news everything had been a blur. It was as if you were seeing everything from outside your body. The first few days, you didn't leave the living room couch, your gaze focused on the metal doors of that gray elevator, you didn't eat, you didn't sleep, waiting for Steve to show up with his suit dirty from the mission and the shield in his hand, telling you that it had taken a little longer than usual but that everything had gone well, that he had nothing but a few scratches on his body and that he would take a shower before cuddling up with you in bed.

The day you understood that Steve would never walk out those doors, you couldn't help but be angry at him for leaving you alone that morning after breakfast and not asking for help from the team, but more than anything you were angry at yourself for not doing anything about it. You thought it was a routine mission, just to confirm that the clue was legit. You never gave the subject much thought. You couldn't believe you had been so naive and you knew it was your fault.

The next few months after that you and the team as well as Fury had been immersed in the case, trying to track down the organization and the man responsible for Steve's death. Thousands of leads were emerging every day but they all led to a dead end. The team wasn't much better, everyone blamed each other for Steve's death but you knew it all affected Tony the most. Natasha and Wanda were there for you but Bucky was the one who were constantly with you during the first few months, supporting you and looking out for you. But you could see he was hurting too, Bucky had gone back to his old self, he was withdrawing from everyone, except you. Barely making conversation with the others and most of the time going out without telling you where he was going. You wanted to ask him about it but you knew he needed time. Hell, you needed it too. A year and a half later it seemed like everything was back to normal, even though you knew that inside you were all different people. Losing family wasn’t easy.

Thank God you had Matthew, an agent who worked at the coumpound, he had been in charge of the funeral and since then, he always made sure you were okay, at first it was small talk in the hallways, telling you how sorry he was and asking you how you were feeling, then it was little gifts, he always brought you coffee and gave you a smile when he saw you filling out reports in the briefing room, before you knew it he had become a great friend. His blue eyes and the way he treated you reminded you of Steve, and you knew you were drawn to that sense of familiarity and comfort. Then at that party, he had kissed you and although his kisses were nothing compared to Steve's, you accepted a date with him when he asked you the next day.

"Are you okay? You look distracted" Wanda's thick accent brought you out of your thoughts, you turned to look at her and her eyes were looking at you with concern.

You cleared your throat. "Yeah, I'm fine." You replied avoiding her questioning eyes, taking your necklace between your hand squeezing it. The wedding ring now taking its place on this one and not on your finger. Everyone was in the kitchen; you were sitting at the table peeling an orange and Wanda was next to you. Natasha was next to Bruce making himself a sandwich while Tony was complaining about the coffee grounds they had toss out in the sink, you let out a small chuckle, you knew it had been Sam who was sitting there reading a magazine completely ignoring Tony. Clint was spending the weekend with his family and Bucky was nowhere to be seen.

"I know this may be a difficult day for you" Wanda murmured moving closer to you, making sure no one else could hear. "We completed the mission. We arrested the bastard who..." she sighed "I know that maybe you thought this would bring you relief. But everything gets better with time, believe me I know." She had promised never to read your mind and you knew she had not. You smiled at her, you loved the fact that she knew you so well that she didn't have to use her powers to know what you were thinking.

2 days ago, the mission had been completed, they had found the person responsible for Steve's death and had dismantled the organization, surprised to find that they had some infiltrators right there working in the Compound, people you looked at every day, people who had seen you suffer and they were responsible all this time. You pushed those thoughts out of your mind quickly as you felt rage growing inside you again. You sighed deeply and remembered that Fury was taking care of it. Everything would be okay now.

"So how are things going with Matt?" Natasha asked approaching the table as she munched on her sandwich. Before you could answer, Fury appeared through the kitchen door. You frowned. It was unusual to have a visit from him at this hours of the night.

"Briefing room. Now," was all he said before turning and walking out of the kitchen. The whole team was surprised but followed him without a word. Entering the briefing room, you leaned against the wall in one of the corners waiting for Fury to speak.

"Two years ago we became aware of an existing threat that was harming one of our team. We mistakenly thought it was something minor, it wasn't until a year and a half ago that we discovered it was all part of something bigger and more dangerous. Something highly sensitive that if not handled correctly could harm us and the nation by exposing secrets of our operations."

"We already know that..." Tony began speaking, with one hand on his head, looking exhausted.

"Maria and I came up with a plan that we would put into action once we got the first lead" he interrupted, ignoring Tony's comment. "If we made them believe that they had achieved their goal, we would have an ace up our sleeve when it came to dismantling their organization, which we have done successfully, thanks to the help of this person..." he sighed and looked at the floor "I ask you to please try to understand."

I frowned, just as confused as the whole team.

"What are you talking about, sir?" You let out and he turned to look at you, sighing once more before shaking his head pointing towards the door.

"Hello, Dollface."

Everything happened in slow motion, the room filled with a deafening silence, you turned towards the door directing your gaze to the source of the voice. And if it wasn't for those blue eyes that wouldn't take their eyes off you, You knew you'd pass out right there.

Steve.

He was standing in the doorframe. And he looked different; his hair was longer, his beard covered half of his face and he looked 10 years older, he had dark circles around his eyes as if he hadn't slept since that morning when he had woken up next to you kissing your body. He was wearing a dark blue suit, and Bucky was standing next to him.

Realization fell over you and you felt your stomach sunk. Tears stung your eyes and you couldn't breathe. You walked slowly towards him, not trusting your own legs and planted yourself in front of him, he was like the ghost of the old Steve, only this one was rough around the edges, his eyes looked at you with adoration but also regret. Before he could say a word, you slapped him.

The sound of hand against cheek echoed across the room. Steve didn't seem surprised. Suddenly the whole room was filled with commotion, everyone started talking at the same time, but you couldn't take it anymore, you felt that at any moment you would fall to the floor. So you just walked out of there, but not without giving Bucky a death glare. The bastard knew it all along.

You ran to your room, ignoring the calls of Steve running after you and the commotion of the place. You locked the door to your room and locked yourself in the bathroom, where you couldn't hear Steve knocking on your door over and over again. You looked at yourself in the mirror, you were a mess, the tears wouldn't stop falling even though you didn't feel them and your face was pale, with trembling hands you ripped off the necklace with the ring and threw it on the floor before sitting down on the floor and started crying.

_

It had been a week since Steve had returned, a week that you had been avoiding him, against your better judgment you had gone to Matt's apartment where he had offered you a place to stay, the coumpound being the last place you wanted to be. You felt your body move and perform the simplest of tasks like washing the dishes, folding your clothes or even watching a movie but your mind just wasn't there, you were like a zombie, and it was already starting to affect your relationship with Matt, you knew it wasn't fair to him but you couldn't care in the slightest, not for now. You hated to admit it but you missed Steve, you missed his voice, his laugh, the way he looked at you, his kisses, his touches. And knowing he was so close to you was driving you crazy. But he had betrayed you. He knew it, he knew it all that time and he didn't tell you, he didn't dare to tell you that morning when it was just you and him. He had let you suffer for a year and a half. To hell with the plan, he had broken your heart. The next morning after he came, you had sneaked into Natasha's room and left the necklace with the wedding ring for her to give back to Steve, she tried to talk some sense into you but you had already made up your mind, after that you had left with Matt.

"I like this part, it's when she realizes the alien is with her on the ship" you heard Matt's voice speak, you two were watching a stupid sci-fi movie, your gaze on the screen but you weren't paying attention to it, your mind wandering elsewhere.

"Mmmh."

"And then she befriends the alien."

"Uh-huh."

"And then they move in together and play badminton on Sundays."

"Interesting."

"That's it" he said letting out a sigh before grabbing the remote and turning off the TV, snapping you out of your thoughts. "You're not even listening”.

Guilt wash all over you.

"Sorry, I was just a little distracted that's all." you said quickly.

He turned to look at you and gave you a smile but it didn't reach his blue eyes, which now that you took a good look at him were nothing like Steve's at all. "This isn't going to work, is it?" he finally asked but you knew he already knew the answer.

You sighed and shook your head slowly. He was a sweet boy and deserved better.

"I'm sorry" you said "I don't want you to think I'm just using you to get over Steve, I really like you, it's just... things are really complicated in my life right now" you finally admitted.

"I know" he said wiping away a tear you didn't know had escaped. "I knew from the moment I heard he was back. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now" he murmured.

You gave him a weak smile "I know I haven't been fair to you the last few days and I'm sorry, I know you deserve someone better, a woman who is completely crazy about you, and who will be because you are kind, thoughtful and deserve better than someone who is broken."

"You're not broken," He assure you. "I just think you really miss him and need him, and I'll let you in on a secret...he does too."

"Thank you, Matt." you said before getting up from the couch and grabbing the few things you had brought with you before heading for the door.

"I know this job demands a lot from us but there is nothing you two can't overcome, you are Steve and Y/n after all" he spoke behind you "just give him a chance to explain himself, you both deserve it."

You turned and gave him a small smile before walking out the door.

_

Steve was sitting at the bar, drinking his whiskey even though he knew he couldn't get drunk no matter how much he wanted to. He was twirling your wedding ring between his fingers. Ever since Natasha had given it to him he hadn't been able to take his eyes off it. Everything had gotten out of control. He took one more sip, savoring the burning sensation in his throat when he did, a hand patted his shoulder and he watched as Bucky sat down beside him.

"You're missing the party," he said sipping from his beer.

"Did you know that she's been staying at Matt's apartment these few days?" he blurted out completely ignoring his friend's earlier comment.

Bucky sighed, not quite knowing what to say.

"I remember Matt, I used to train him when he was first recruited, a good guy" he muttered "He can give her the life she deserves".

"Come on dude" bucky snorted "they've been dating for a month, it's not like they're getting married".

"It's not like she can't" Steve said "I'm sure she'll be sending me the divorce papers any minute now".

Bucky gasped.

"Impossible, she's crazy about you." He said continually shaking his head.

"I messed it up with her, Buck" he said finishing his drink before getting up and heading to his room, he was in no mood to party.

He had messed up, that morning he just thought it would be a simple mission and that he would be back that afternoon but then the lead had turned out to be more important than they had thought. Fury had told him the plan but there was no time to think about the pros and cons, they were up against the clock. So decisions were made and as much as it pained him he knew that was the only way to keep her safe, because they would come for her, of that he had no doubt. And he would do anything to protect her. Anything.

_

You could hear the faint sound of music coming from downstairs, the party was in progress as you walked down the empty hallways leading to the bedrooms, relieved that everyone was at the party and didn't see you coming. Matt’s words surrounding your thoughts, maybe what you needed was to hear it from Steve before you could move on with your life. You didn't realize that you had unconsciously made your way to Steve's room until you opened the door and looked inside, the room that for a year had been empty was now occupied by his things. With trembling hands you closed the door behind you and looked at his things, a shirt was on the bed and you couldn't help but pick it up and smell it. God, you had missed him so much.

Tears began to flood your eyes again but you were sick of crying so you left the shirt where it was and sat on the big bed, memories about that morning before he left filling your mind.

"I would do anything to protect you, you know that right?". 

You shook your head at the memory, pushing those thoughts out of your head and placed your head in your hands.

You heard the door to the room being open and you cursed under your breath. You knew you had to face him but you didn't think it would be so soon, he was supposed to be at the party, his party.

You quickly raised your head and watched him walk in, he was wearing a completely black suit, his long hair was perfectly combed back and he still had that beard, he looked like a dream, butterflies erupting in your stomach and you had to take all your willpower not to jump him. There was a lot to talk about.

He had his eyes on the floor but when he looked at you an expression of surprise covered his face. This was the last place he thought you would be. He called your name in surprise and you quickly got out of bed.

"Sneaking out of the party?" you let out a nervous laugh at his intense stare, he hadn't moved a muscle "Come on, Steve. You know that’s not nice."

Several seconds passed and he didn't speak, maybe this was a bad idea, coming to his room was a bad idea. You turned to grab your bag off the bed and get out of there when his voice spoke behind you.

"Can I hold you?" he blurted out, startling you. You turned to look at him, he had his hands shoved in his pockets and looked shy, as if he was sure you would tell him no.

Your heart skipped a beat and you nodded your head slowly. There was a lot to talk about but you missed him more than anything in the world and you needed him. Without you having to repeat it to him, he took long strides to where you were and took you in his arms, pressing you against him, burying his head in your neck and inhaling your scent, making you shiver. You slipped your arms around his neck and shoulders and held on to him, he smelled just like you remember, of his favorite cologne and mint, and now a little whiskey too. You felt tears fill your eyes and you squeeze them shut to keep them from coming out. It felt almost unreal, while he was gone you had dreamed a thousand times of holding him in your arms, you didn't think you would ever be able to feel him again, to hear his jokes, his laughter and the way your name came from his lips. It was all too much.

Just as quickly as he had walked towards you and hugged you, he broke away from you and walked to lean against the wooden door he had entered through, too far away from you for your liking, his gaze fixed on the floor and his hands in his pockets. "I need to say this, and I can't do it if you're too close to me," he let out in a hurried voice and continued, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you during the time I was away, that morning I didn't know things would end up so badly, but it was worse than we thought and everyone was in danger...you were in danger. And I couldn't let them harm you because of me. There wasn't enough time to think of a better plan than the one Fury had come up with. I promised myself I would tell you I was safe but we realized there were infiltrators here in the building, I knew they would be watching your every move, I would put you in danger if I told you. So I told Bucky to look out for you. I know that it doesn't justify what I put you through but I needed you to know." He sigh closing my eyes. "I understand if you hate me, I know I ruined us and Matt is a great guy, I always knew you deserved someone who didn't have such a complicated life or put you at constant risk but please, I just want you to know... not only am I deeply in love with you, you are my best friend."

You couldn't breathe and you were aware that you were crying again, so without thinking twice, you advanced with a determined step towards him and when he looked up, you took his face with your hands wiping his tears away and planted a kiss, pushing your body to his, you took him by surprise but it only took a second for him to grab you by the hair and get you closer to his mouth. You had missed him so much, and yet it was as if you still knew his lips by heart and he knew yours, both matching perfectly. You let out a small groan as he lowered his hands to your waist and grabbed one of your thighs indicating you to jump, turning you around pushing you to the door, the new angle allowing you to kiss him better since he was much taller than you. After a few seconds you broke away to take a breath of air. You leaned your head back against the door running your fingers through his beard, taking your time to memorize him, he was the same yet so different but you definitely liked it.

"Stop looking at me like that, you're making me weak" he mumble hiding his face in your neck, his beard scratching your bare skin making you shiver and let out a giggle.

"I really like this beard, please don't ever shave it off". You sighed as he gave you little kisses on your neck, tickling you.

"Mmmh."

He planted one last kiss on your neck before you brought your legs to the floor again.

"I think you have something that belongs to me" you whispered as you reached into the small pocket of the black shirt; the small wedding ring. You had felt it when you were kissing him. You took it and placed it back on your finger. Steve looked at you confused but at the same time a full smile appeared on his face. You pressed your forehead to his and placed your hands on his chest.

"Don't leave me like that again, you scared me." You whispered to him.

"I promise I won't, Dollface" he whispered back. You knew there was still a lot to talk about but what you were completely sure of was that Steve Rogers never breaks a promise.

[cowboylikeghost]

Here are 73 fact about me that nobody ask for but i need validation

1- I love Reading, drawing and plants even if i always kill them

2- I'm a whore for Jane Austen

3- I love when people prove that a conspiracy theory is false

4- I have a weird passion for geology and paleontology

4- I probably have undiagnosed ADHD because of my mother

5- I'm bad at frienship, every of them have to be special

6- My love language is talking about my passion and learning everything about the person, people think it's weird, i have nobody

7- I'm hopeless romantic even if i act like i'm not

8- I hate being touch and i hate hug, they feel weird to me

9- I hate when someone is next to me and their arm or knee touch me, it's make me feel anxious

10- I'm an introvert with diagnosed social anxiety, i'm also an infp and a sagittarius

11- I'm bi and disgusted about the idea of having s*x with someone, i think i'm ace, nobody will ever love me like i do

12- Autumn is the best season and i basically live for rainy day, if it could rain forever i will be the happiest

13- I love academic validation but i suck at school, my only way to work is to pretend i'm Chilton Rory Gilmore

14- I read non stop for 6 month and after i go on a reading slump for the rest of the year

15- I don't have a stable personality

16- I write sad poetry

17- I'm sad and this is my main personality trait

18- My family said that i'm basically sadness from this Disney movie

19- I want to move in a cottage in England with a lot of mountains so i can found cool rocks

20- I have a no self control and a big problem with my emotions

21- I get angry very easily

22- I only have 3 friends and one of them is my sister

23- I have commitment issues

24- I broke up two times in two years with two different girls that lives at more than 8h from me

25- I hate what the french language became even if i can't write a sentence without any fault

26- English is my fav subject at school

27- I hate eyes contact, it's make me uncomfy and i feel like people judge me

28- I feel like i'm better than everyone

29- I feel like everyone hate me

30- I feel sorry for every teacher

31- I love being in my bed, scrolling on my phone or reading but i hate sleeping because i feel like i'm wasting my time

32- Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night because i feel like i forgot something for school, even if i'm in vacation

33- I hate people at school because i get bullied

34- People don't like me but i would kill to have someone like me in my life so i don't understand

35- I don't understand every jokes, i just know it's suppose to be funny so i laught, i just understand that

36- Taylor Swift is my only religion

37- I Iove more Harry styles songs than Harry styles himself, i found him arrogant and he always date problematic women, Stan Niall

38- I would do anything for Ben Barnes and Tom Hiddleston or any british men in their 40 who have a degree in literature

39- I relate to Spencer Reid in a way that nobody could ever understand

40- I love true crime, my favorite stories are about cult

41- My love for my cat is not healthy, if he died, i have to follow him

42- I alway stop watching Gilmore girls when Rory finish Chilton because i hear that she became annoying but she's one of my confort character so i don't want to see it

43- I prefer the marauders over the golden trio

44- I'm a Remus Lupin kinnie and a James Potter Simp

45- I hate Dumbledore with my whole heart i could talk about it for hours

46- I started all the young dudes, i like it but i cry at every chapter so i stoped

47- I hate my brother but if he died i would be destroyed

48- When i was little i have an obsession with panda and now i have panda everywhere in my room

49- I don't know if i want to live alone forever because i like the idea or because of any other reason

50- I alway need adults validation

51- When i was a kid i was sleeping with my socks on because i liked it but i learned that some people think it's weird so i stoped

52- I eat my cereal with no milk and i don't understand the debate, for me it always taste the same: disgusting

53- I hate touching food that isn't mine ( like when someone ask if you want to taste their meal, or if you have to clean something that someone else eat in, it's just make me want to threw up)

54- I have to sleep with no sound, if you breath a little to loud i will not be able to sleep, i'll be angry and probably hit you, one time my sister breathed too loud and i cryed

55- When i was a kid i hated turtle neck, it maked me feel like i was chocking but i learned how to support it even if it's still uncomfy

56- I hate when a shirt, a dress or a blouse show too mutch of my skin, i don't like it

57- I always wear a tank top with my t-shirt and if i don't i feel naked

58- My first panick attack was because i had a fight with my brother and my dad was yelling at me and didn't see it (i'm not mad at him)

59- When i was little i acted like i couldn't read because i was scared my mom will not read story to me anymore

60- I had my first phone at 13 but i wish i didn't

61- When i was 11 i started reading sm*t on my DS and it became an addiction, i wish everyday i forget what i read

62- I realise i was bi because of Millie Bobby Brown in Stranger things

63- I didn't realise my feminisme wasn't good until a 12yrs old insulted me in a comment section, i said thanks to her after

64- I love kids, i think they're cute and i'm jealous of their innocence so i act like i hate them

65- I want to raise a kid alone in the forest

66- I'm sure that my grandma in my dad side is a lesbian and that my mom is bisexual but have internalised homophobia

67- I hate when boomer joke about hating their husband/wife, just divorce

68- I still have my babies plush even if they're disgusting and look possessed

69- I sleep with my fairy lights on because three month ago i had a sleep paralysis

70- My parents are responsible of 80% of my insecurities and don't even know it

71- I love when it's get dark earlier in autumn/winter

72- I'm an Amy March simp

73- I just made a liste of 73 fact about me

[goldencherryhazz]

my stress reliever

Sub!h x reader

Warnings: smut, oral (male receiving) fluff and some swearing

A/N: so the grammys are tomorrow and I am not prepared physically or mentally, so I decided to write a little something to calm myself. Its nearly 2am so there’s probably a load of mistakes! Pls don’t copy my work. Hope you enjoy!

It was the night before the Grammys and Harry had to admit he was feeling a bit stressed but even more nervous, he was so grateful for the fact that he would not only be opening the show, but that he had been nominated for not one, not two, but three Grammys.

When he got the phone call from his manager Jeff he was over the moon and y/n was jumping for joy, whilst hugging Harry, he was also pretty sure he saw a couple tears slip down her cheeks. That feeling lasted for weeks, but now with less than 24 hours to go the nerves had definitely set in and he didn’t know how to soothe them and had been basking in his troublesome thought for the past 40 minutes.

Y/n was currently out shopping for some essentials but Harry wanted her to be no where else except in his arms, they had both become a bit clingy towards each other during the pandemic, they had heard lots of couples break up or get divorces, but with Harry touring all over the globe and y/n having to stay put for her own jobs hey were more than happy to spend months on end together.

When he heard the front door open he practically leaped up from his spot on the couch, rounding the corner to the hallway immediately spotting y/n carrying multiple bags, still clad in a coat and woolly hat, her cheeks slightly red from the cold air even though it was nearly half way through March.

‘Hiya baby’ she smiles at him

‘Hi angel, missed you’ he said fumbling with the ends of his fingers.

‘I’ve only been gone about half an hour H’ she chuckled slightly, sensing he wasn’t feeling himself and hadn’t been all day.

‘Wanna come and help me put some shopping away’ she asked starting to take her hat and coat off, before getting a nod of the head in return his shy eyes making contact with hers. She ventured her way through to the kitchen, Harry trailing his way behind her like a lost puppy, starting to feel a bit calmer just due to her presence.

They then started to putting items in their allocated places in their kitchen, working like a dynamic duo somehow knowing wherever the other was at each given moment. Once the last item was put away Harry folds away the bags and puts them in a cupboard to be used another time. He then stands there in front of her, strands of his hair falling into his face in which y/n reaches out to push them back, he nuzzled into the slight touch, craving closeness with his girl. He makes grabby hands towards her in which she immediately complied and crashed into his warm chest wrapping her arms round his shoulders, fingers tangling into his hair. He sighed deeply in contentness but with a hint of worrysome into the crook of her neck ‘what’s going on in that head of yours baby’

‘I’m just worrying about tomorrow’ he speaks honestly ‘there’s just loads of thoughts of what could go wrong running through my head, and I can’t stop them’

‘Well I know that once you get out on that stage you are going to take it and rock the hell out of it, cause that’s just you and no matter how much you doubt yourself I know you are going to be amazing no matter what happens, and I think I can speak for pretty much everyone when I say that, you’re incredible baby no matter if you win a Grammy or not, I don’t really care about a shiny piece of metal I care about you’

‘But what if I mess up the words to the songs, or fall over on stage or something stupid like that’ he rushes out.

‘Your overwhelmed baby, and that’s very understandable because you haven’t really been doing a lot of this stuff cause of the pandemic, you just need to get in the swing of things again, but I’ll be there every step of the way, don’t need to be nervous H I’m here’ she cooed as he wrapped his arms around her tighter.

‘Thankyou angel, I love you, don’t know how much I needed to hear that’ he whispered kissing her neck.

‘I love you too, no need to thank me baby, that’s why I’m here, I’ll always be your moral support. If you want I can stand at the side of the stage with banners and everything,’ she says manoeuvring to grab a tea towel to demonstrate, she starts to swing her hips around, her body going in a circle with her hands in the air that was gripping the towel, whilst cheering ‘go H, go baby, go H, go baby.’ This made Harry laugh, a real laugh immediately lighting up the whole atmosphere. He swore he couldn’t live without this girl, who was dancing around the kitchen and would probably actually do what she was demonstrating on the side of the stage whilst he performed at the Grammys, because she cared about him that much.

‘There’s that smile, missed seeing that on your pretty face today’ she smiled right back at him, glad that he was happy again.

She made her way back to him, hugging him once again placing a kiss to the side of his jaw.

‘Wanna go upstairs and get all snuggy?’ She questioned.

‘Yeah, sounds perfect angel’

‘C’mon then’ grabbing his hand and leading them to their bedroom.

When they were half up the stairs y/n suddenly spins to face him again ‘you know, if your still feeling stressed I can help you even more, pretty sure I could eliminate all of it’

‘And how do you plan on doing that angel’

‘Oh my beautiful boy, the list goes on and on’ she says almost seductively.

They both knew where this was heading so they start to rush more up the stairs, excited to get to the bedroom, and as soon as they are and the door is shut behind them, Harry is pushed so his back was against the door before y/n starts kissing his lips hungrily, biting and sucking hickeys onto his neck making him groan ‘wanna be my baby boy tonight, just want to love you on you, make sure you’re totally stress free, how does that sound baby’

He whimpers at her words he could feel his length harden at her words ‘y-yes angel, want you to take control, wanna be your baby boy’

In turn y/n whimpers feeling her panties get wetter and wetter, she backed him up to the king-size bed, their lip connecting and reconnecting, the head in the room seeming to go up about 10 degrees, Harry loved it when y/n had her way with him, taking control of his pleasure, making him cum so hard he saw stars, he swore she was magical, the fact that he was worrying about every little thing about 20 minutes ago and now not having a care in the world, he could have been in the deepest, darkest whole and she still would be a been able to pull him out.

She turns both their bodies so that Harry’s would be the first to hit the bed, she was kissing him so hard it was making his knees buckle ‘do you want to take your shirt off and lay on the bed for me baby boy’ she says in which he quickly complies, lifting the fabric over his head, to see y/n doing the same taking her bra off at the same time, making him practically drool at the sight of her perky tits just begging to be played with.

He laid on the bed following her instructions, waiting for her to come over to him, and when she did y/n let out a small moan at the sight of his fucked out face and she had barely touched him, she loved it when he was like this, letting her take control when the roles were usually reversed, she just wanted to make him feel as good as he made her feel, which was pretty dam amazing.

She leaned over kissing his lips, her tongue diving into his mouth dancing with his own, she pulled away slowly ‘what do you want me to do to you baby’ she asked already knowing the answer ‘want me to play with you cock’

He whimpered and nods, his doe eyes begging her to do something about the tent in his sweats.

‘Use you words baby, wanna hear you say it’

‘P-please angel, want y-you to play with my cock’

‘Okay baby boy’ she reaches down to the tie on his sweats undoing the bow slowly, almost teasing him making him squirm and moan out ‘please touch me angel, m’starting to ache’ she works quicker getting the trousers off of his legs before throwing them somewhere in the room, then going back to pull his boxers down his long legs, his cock finally springing free from its confines and gently hitting his stomach.

Her eyes went wide at the sight of his cock, the tip an angry shade of red leaking precum, the thick veins more prominent, his balls looking deliciously filled with cum, just ready for a release. She lays between his spread legs, wasting no time in gripping his girthy shaft in her hand making Harry throw his head back and stifle out a load moan, she smiled knowing she was making his feel good with only one touch. ‘Who’s made you this hard baby?’

‘You angel, only you’ he moans as she starts bringing her hand up and down his cock, her thumb swirling over his sensitive tip making him groan every time. She then brings her head down, making eye contact with his green orbs as he lifted his up, her lips encased his tip before going down inch by inch until she was about half way, Harry let out a prolonged moan, loving the feeling of her mouth in him. Y/n brought her head up after a few more seconds gasping for air ‘taste so good baby, can’t wait to taste that cum though’ he whimpered his legs spreading even more to give her more room. When she reattached her lips to his shaft she starts bobbing her head up and down, taking him down her throat aswell, her hand tugging the rest ‘feels so good angel’ he says whilst gathering her hair in a makeshift ponytail.

At this point y/n panties were soaked, she managed to get a little stimulation by grazing her clit on the rough fabric of her jeans, making her hum in delight around his cock. She brings her other hand down to his balls, rolling them in her palm. She then comes off his cock with a pop, taking one of his balls into her mouth instead, changing between the two all whilst tugging his cock.

‘M’gonna cum if you keep doing that’ his legs starting to shake around her

‘Well that was my aim, baby’

‘wanna have you wrapped around me when I cum, please angel’ he whimpered

And with that y/n was already unbuttoning her jeans and pulling them down her legs, because how could she say no to him, her clit was starting to throb aswell, she smiled knowing that it wouldn’t take long for them both to cum, she straddles him bringing her lips to his once again, he grabbed hold of one of her tits massaging it before tweaking her nipple making her whimper into his mouth. She becomes desperate pulling away quickly before gripping his shaft and lining him up with her entrance, sinking down onto him with ease because of how wet she was. They both let out prolonged moans, loving the feeling of being wrapped around each other ‘pussys so fucking tight, s’like you were made for me’ he moans out, ‘think your cock was made for me too baby boy, stretches me out soo good’ placing both hands on his chest, she whimpers slowly lifting herself up before going back down, making a slow pace. They were moaning in unison the only sound in the room, and small whimpers of ‘baby’ and ‘angel.’ y/n brings her hand down to her clit starting to make small circles, knowing she wouldn’t need much to topple over she was amazed at how fast her orgasm was creeping up on her ‘m’gonna cum baby boy, you close’

‘Yes m’so close, your gonna make me cum so hard’ his legs starting to shake again, one of his tell- tale signs.

‘Cum with me baby’ y/n says not holding back anymore, with a few more thrusts and circles to her clit she was cumming, she whimpered the words ‘baby boy’ over and over, that’s when Harry toppled over he felt his cock twitch and with that he was releasing ribbon after ribbon of cum inside of her, he stopped breathing, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, toes curling, legs shaking practically screaming profanities. He felt like he was on cloud nine, he was gasping for air, a faint ringing in his ears.

Y/n leaned down to his chest kissing a few spots, now utterly exhausted ‘you okay baby’

‘Never cum so hard in my life angel, felt incredible’ he breathes out a lazy smile on his face.

She slowly lifted herself off of him, knowing he would be sensitive before laying down beside him ‘thankyou angel’ he whispers to her

‘What for?’ she asks

‘For making me forget all of my worries, for being my stress reliever, probably would have lost it by now if I didn’t have you’ he says sweetly. ‘I don’t know what I do without you either baby’ she says kissing his lips and then pulling his head to her chest, he nuzzled into her, his long arm draping the duvet over them, before gripping onto her waist.

‘Now go to sleep my beautiful three time Grammy nominated boyfriend, you’ve got a big day tomorrow’

[dearly]

Pete Wentz (6:39:20 PM): Hey Ryan Ross (6:39:39 PM): hey Pete Wentz (6:40:09 PM): Is this the guy fro poanic at the disco Ryan Ross (6:40:23 PM): yeah im ryan, is this pete? Pete Wentz (6:41:12 PM): Yeah Ryan Ross (6:41:18 PM): hey man Pete Wentz (6:42:37 PM): How arer you Ryan Ross (6:43:17 PM): im not bad, working on a paper for english. hows everything with the new record? Pete Wentz (6:44:37 PM): Going really well Pete Wentz (6:45:04 PM): How's everything wiht your band are those just remixes Ryan Ross (6:46:01 PM): awesome, yeah we only did those on my laptop because we cant get into a studio yet. but we still have alot of those parts live and full band Pete Wentz (6:46:25 PM): Does it have samples like that Pete Wentz (6:46:42 PM): How many people are in the band.... Are you guys all in hicghschool Ryan Ross (6:47:20 PM): do you mean do we use a sampler? our drummer uses a drum sampler which we put some of the stuff on, and he plays some of it Ryan Ross (6:47:43 PM): im in college. im 18 the other three of them are 17 and in high school Pete Wentz (6:48:26 PM): Like of the pure volume site songs what would not be part of your live show Ryan Ross (6:50:18 PM): well right now the synth stuff because we need a keyboard player. we are trying out a few guys soon though. and some of the drum parts are different. Pete Wentz (6:50:48 PM): I absolutely love the stuff Ryan Ross (6:52:16 PM): but we have two guitar players one sings and i play lead. its kind of hard to describe it. we are a rock band but about half of a song will be dance-ish or sort of 80s sounding Ryan Ross (6:52:28 PM): really? wow thanks alot man Ryan Ross (6:53:12 PM): it really is a huge compliment coming from you Ryan Ross (6:53:35 PM): i was actually really suprised you listened to it Ryan Ross (6:53:40 PM): i didnt expect you to see it Pete Wentz (6:54:00 PM): Is there some pics of you guys anywhere Ryan Ross (6:55:10 PM): no, we are taking them pretty soon for the website, its just not done yet. i have some just of me on livejournal. but thats wierd haha Pete Wentz (6:56:09 PM): Yeah fuck get some to me Pete Wentz (6:56:19 PM): I think I may come see you in californaia Ryan Ross (6:56:44 PM): really? Ryan Ross (6:57:08 PM): that would be awesome Pete Wentz (6:57:46 PM): I've been listeneing to those songs nonstop. Is the band a side thing or is it gonna be fulltime? Ryan Ross (6:58:20 PM): no its full time Ryan Ross (6:59:24 PM): well aside from school. which sucks Ryan Ross (6:59:32 PM): but we want to do this Pete Wentz (7:00:00 PM): When are those kids out of school Ryan Ross (7:00:26 PM): the drummer and bass player are graduating early. so like january and other guitarist/singer graduates in the spring Pete Wentz (7:01:16 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:01:23 PM): Do you know about my label Ryan Ross (7:01:46 PM): yeah i think i saw something a while ago on a journal entry, is gym class heroes the only band on it right now? Pete Wentz (7:03:10 PM): Yeah. I signed the academy. But they are fbr strictly gym class and I am looking for another Pete Wentz (7:03:33 PM): The cool thing about it is I just met with waner and they want both of the bands and to give me an imprint Ryan Ross (7:03:55 PM): oh cool i like the academy alot, oh i see yea i was going to ask you about that Pete Wentz (7:04:03 PM): Which pretty much means a lot more money to promote cool artists Pete Wentz (7:04:14 PM): You guys plays out a lot? Ryan Ross (7:04:39 PM): thats awesome man. actually no we just kind of started this thing up a few months ago, the show in victorville is going to be our first one Pete Wentz (7:05:51 PM): Really Pete Wentz (7:05:56 PM): Interesting Pete Wentz (7:06:11 PM): How much do you guys practice Ryan Ross (7:06:45 PM): we've been trying to figure out the best way to do this stuff live, and we've been having a hard time on figuring out how to make it sound good. depending on the place we might not be able to use all the electronic stuff that we want to do which sucks but alot of venues, at least here might have a hard time setting us up. we practice at

least 4 times a week so like. between 24-30 hours a week Pete Wentz (7:07:09 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:07:21 PM): I am gonna come to the show Ryan Ross (7:08:13 PM): we wish we could more often. but school is getting in the way. and it sucks cause parents think its a waste of time playing music and want me to focus on school. im sure you know how that is. Ryan Ross (7:08:23 PM): thanks alot man really Pete Wentz (7:08:55 PM): I do Pete Wentz (7:09:05 PM): What are peoples reactions to it Ryan Ross (7:10:04 PM): some good some bad. everyone is so into post hardcore stuff these days that some kids just brush it off. which is fine but then some kids like it cause its a little different i guess Pete Wentz (7:11:30 PM): Can that kid sing live? Ryan Ross (7:12:54 PM): yeah, he's been taking voice lessons for a little bit so thats starting to help him Pete Wentz (7:13:19 PM): Is he on? I mean on here he sounds awesome Ryan Ross (7:14:21 PM): yeah he's on pitch, we recorded that stuff with like a 100 dollar vocal mic. the only effects we used was pretty much reverb on the main parts. Pete Wentz (7:14:42 PM): Yeah sounds good kind of like patrick Pete Wentz (7:14:47 PM): I like it Ryan Ross (7:16:57 PM): yeah thats the only thing we get that alot. and thats just how the kid sings. we like your band but we dont want to sound like you guys, or be compared to fob all the time you know? but yeah he is aware that kids say he sounds like patrick so he's just trying different vocal stuff sometimes. Pete Wentz (7:19:06 PM): Here's the thing if I show you guys interest a lot of crappy labels are gonna come and do the same and I don't want a huge mess out there. I mean how interested are you guys in going fulltime when you can Pete Wentz (7:19:19 PM): Yeah you'll get eh patrock thing but how many people. Sound like hime Ryan Ross (7:19:47 PM): so you really think we've got potential then? Pete Wentz (7:19:54 PM): I do Ryan Ross (7:20:05 PM): i've wanted to play in a band for my job ever since i started high school at least. Ryan Ross (7:20:07 PM): we all want to do this Ryan Ross (7:21:05 PM): its like i cant put enough dedication into anything exept playing guitar and writing Pete Wentz (7:23:01 PM): I'm with you Ryan Ross (7:24:05 PM): but yeah. i cant see myself doing anything else but playing in a band, cause every job i've ever had ive hated it Pete Wentz (7:24:57 PM): You don't have a picture of the band Ryan Ross (7:25:44 PM): no, but if you need it i could have my buddy take some tomorrow at practice Pete Wentz (7:26:58 PM): That would be rad Ryan Ross (7:27:37 PM): okay we'll take some Ryan Ross (7:28:08 PM): are you online much? Pete Wentz (7:33:12 PM): Sometimes Ryan Ross (7:33:35 PM): okay, i was just wondering if this was your email incase you arent on i'll just send them Pete Wentz (7:34:17 PM): Yeah send it here for sure Ryan Ross (7:34:36 PM): okay Ryan Ross (7:34:55 PM): dude this better not be a joke, it better be you Pete Wentz (7:35:12 PM): It is Pete Wentz (7:35:34 PM): But there are a lot of fakers out there Ryan Ross (7:35:55 PM): okay. yeah i know someone has shown me like fake journals of you and stuff. thats creepy Ryan Ross (7:36:10 PM): thats why i asked if it was you for sure Pete Wentz (7:36:32 PM): This guy who is iming me is your manager Ryan Ross (7:37:03 PM): is it xxxtoughffxxx ? Pete Wentz (7:37:22 PM): Yeah Ryan Ross (7:37:38 PM): i dont know if he's our manager. he's our friend, he's been helping us out with a website, merch and the show in victorville Ryan Ross (7:38:35 PM): he's starting a company up and he wants to help us out Pete Wentz (7:43:04 PM): Ah I got t Pete Wentz (7:43:32 PM): It Pete Wentz (7:43:37 PM): You guys are awesome and if its what I think it is I want ti to be thenext academy Ryan Ross (7:44:58 PM): wow thanks alot. i hope you like the stuff live, its not completely different but it is different. i mean the singing is the same and all that. Pete Wentz (7:47:46 PM): cool Pete Wentz (7:48:06 PM): You guys look good. The chicks gonna be swooning? Ryan Ross (7:48:38 PM): once we get

a keyboard player who can do all of the sampling we want to do it will be alot better too. its like we know how we want to sound, but just finding the right way to do it i guess is what we are working on. Ryan Ross (7:48:40 PM): hahaha Ryan Ross (7:48:51 PM): i dont know man, we look alright i guess Ryan Ross (7:48:57 PM): we look young Pete Wentz (7:49:42 PM): Youngs not abd at all Pete Wentz (7:49:47 PM): How does the singiner look Ryan Ross (7:50:05 PM): dead sexy. Ryan Ross (7:50:41 PM): he's no pete wentz. but still Pete Wentz (7:51:42 PM): Hahaha Pete Wentz (7:51:54 PM): Goddamn as long as he looks cool.singing Pete Wentz (7:52:14 PM): For sure send me pics and all how many songs you guys have? Ryan Ross (7:52:39 PM): haha Ryan Ross (7:53:00 PM): kk Ryan Ross (7:53:54 PM): we've only got 4 right now, its been tough to write since school started and everyone's busier. and those are the first 4 songs we've written as a band. at the show we'll play those and a cover of new order maybe. or depeche mode. we dont know yet Pete Wentz (7:56:08 PM): Nice Pete Wentz (7:56:21 PM): I gotta run Pete Wentz (7:56:32 PM): But ill hit you on here later Pete Wentz (7:56:38 PM): Send me those pics and write the hits Ryan Ross (7:56:43 PM): okay dude. good talking to you Pete Wentz (7:56:43 PM): Peaaaaaace Ryan Ross (7:56:44 PM): hahaha Ryan Ross (7:56:47 PM): later man Pete Wentz is away from the computer as of 7:56:51 PM. Auto response from Pete Wentz: Igot99problems Pete Wentz is back at the computer as of 10:05:48 PM. Pete Wentz is away from the computer as of 10:06:23 PM.

[j-ungkooky]

Temptation (Taehyung)

Ceo Au! Suggestive smut (he’s crouched under ur desk and :)) (smut will be in future chapters) Angst (later) 3181 Words Chapter 1. 

“Good morning.” Taehyung simply greeted before disappearing into his office. 

It was enough to get all the women in the lobby immediately shooting each other knowing glances because not only was Taehyung the company’s CEO, but he was a very handsome one at that too. His polite demeanour and respectful nature only contributed to his desirability. Due to everyone’s unanimous acknowledgement of Taehyung’s appeal, there seemed to always be some sort of competition for his attention. Whether it was to drop something off for him in his office or offer him leftover donuts, his deep voice thanking you followed by his infectious smile was all worth it. Taehyung being new to the company only made the competition over him more fierce. He had taken over the position from a now old and retired gentleman and because he had no idea what the personality of each individual in the office was truly like, it was all fair game. 

She definitely would’ve been lying if she said she didn’t have some sort of crush on Taehyung but it was all physical and surface level. He was her boss after all and she only saw him for a few minutes each day. They’ve barely exchanged more than a handful of words to each other in the month of his takeover.  

“Jesus...did you see his arms? They’re suffocating in that button up.” Jisoo, her colleague commented. 

“You’re drooling,” she teased, “besides, you should be worrying about your meeting today and not about whether or not blood is circulating through his arms.” 

Jisoo scoffed and pushed herself off of the reception desk. 

“Don’t remind me,” Jisoo groaned, “it doesn’t help that Taehyung’s going to be sitting in for that meeting too. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through anything without puking.” 

The two of them continued to talk and catch each other up on what they did over the weekend before Jisoo eventually had to go back to her desk. She watched as her colleague walked away and felt a twinge of jealousy within herself. For someone like Jisoo to get nervous despite being pretty, charismatic and the office favourite was a slap to her self esteem. Jisoo also held a high position within the HR department while she was just a measly receptionist. She definitely wasn’t going to stay in this position forever but the job paid well and would suffice for now. 

As the clock inched closer to everyone’s starting time, the lobby began clearing up as people went to their respected department. After a few minutes, she was left alone to man the front all by herself. She stared at the closed office doors surrounding her and felt another pang of envy in her heart knowing that people behind those doors were doing far more important work than her. Her days consisted of sorting through mail, sending emails, transferring calls and light house duties. She tried to convince herself that it wasn’t all bad because at least she could surf the internet whenever she wanted without anyone monitoring her. Her eyes traveled towards Taehyung’s door and she wondered how he was adjusting to everything before an email notification needed her attention. 

With it being Monday and the meeting Jisoo was talking about earlier being held today, it was quite busy. She usually had an hour of free time before her lunch break but the emails had been nonstop. People kept revising their forms and asking her to print out multiple copies of the revised papers to the point where the printer just stopped working altogether for a scary moment. With it being so busy, she decided to stay at her desk for lunch today. She was buried so deep in her computer work that Taehyung’s presence had gone unnoticed. He needed a break from staring at his screen all day and decided to go explore the office. In the month that Taehyung transferred over, he had no time to go around introducing himself or making himself familiar with the space. His decision to finally become accustomed to his environment brought him in front of her desk. The unusually loud crinkling from the untouched candy jar she left out for everyone broke her focus. She looked up to see her boss struggling with how small the jar was. 

“Do...do you need help?” she finally asked.

Up close, Taehyung’s visuals had her feeling shy and flustered like a high school girl sitting next to their crush. Taehyung seemed just as surprised to hear her voice as his movements came to a halt and he pulled his hand out of the candy jar sheepishly. 

“Sorry,” he apologized while rubbing the back of his neck, “I realized I must’ve looked really stupid.” 

She waved his doubts away and took the jar from him. She tried her very best to seem unfazed and collected but the red tint in her cheeks and her inability to stop smiling so wide probably gave her away.

“The um...” Taehyung cleared his throat before continuing, “the watermelon flavour please.” 

After a few seconds of sifting through the numerous options, she found the one he wanted. Taehyung opened his hand and she almost laughed at how tiny the candy looked in his gigantic palm. Her amusement didn’t stop at his physicality but shifted towards his entire personality. When she first met Taehyung, she was beyond intimidated. She couldn’t look at him for too long without feeling like he was looking right through her. Taehyung carried himself with an air of confidence and always had an answer for everyone, as expected of a competent CEO. She wasn’t nervous around him because he was scary but because his presence was so large and full while she was so small compared to him. But having him stand before her enjoying a piece of watermelon flavoured candy with an innocent smile on his face was just so...unexpected. 

“Is this your lunch break?” Taehyung asked noticing her untouched sandwich sitting beside her keyboard. 

She looked where he was and let out a forced laugh at her pathetic set up.

“Yeah I didn’t have time to properly take a break today.” she explained. 

The reason she was eating at her desk suddenly occurred to her and her eyes traveled over to her inbox which was now at double digits. With only an hour before the big meeting today, she was already behind despite only talking to Taehyung for five minutes. 

“Sorry Taehyung I have to get back to work,” she sighed running a hand through her hair, “is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked looking at him for a quick second before going back to her monitor. 

Taehyung watched as she worked and wondered if this was the kind of work culture he wanted to uphold. He didn’t like that she didn’t take a break and was going unnoticed for her extra work. Perhaps he’d talk to HR and accounting later to avoid situations like this from happening again. Taehyung drummed his fingers against his her desk and sucked his teeth. 

“Nope, nothing else you can do for me!” he smiled, “Thank you for your hard work but please make sure to take a proper break next time. I’m going to the coffee room to take a breather myself.” 

She looked up to thank him out of courtesy and he surprised her by thanking her once more and using her name. He grabbed a few more pieces of candy before going on his way. 

“Hey Taehyung!” she called, leaning over her desk. 

He turned his head with a raised brow. 

“If you’re still going to the break room, it’s the other way.” she informed him. 

Taehyung turned around on his heel and began walking hastily in the correct direction with bashful smile on his face. 

“What an interesting guy.” she thought while laughing to herself. 

________________________________________________

The hour leading up to the big meeting didn’t get any easier as her inbox continued to flood with people requesting numerous things from her. She was finally able to breathe when the meeting started and people stopped demanding her assistance. Jisoo had come up earlier asking for words of encouragement before Taehyung emerged from his office. She watched in awe at how effortless Jisoo made it look cracking jokes with Taehyung and drawing out deep belly laughs from him. She cringed at how awkward she must’ve been with Taehyung earlier and refused to look at him when he walked by; not that he would’ve noticed anyway as Jisoo had his full attention. She made an early new years resolution to be more like her follow coworker in the coming year. 

Despite the craziness earlier, she was already bored browsing through the same pages for the past 40 minutes. The meeting seemed to be going well as no one left the boardroom to ask her to do anything. With her sanity hanging onto Pinterest boards, she welcomed the delivery man with a gigantic smile and lively greeting. 

“Big one today.” the delivery man commented while slapping the stacks of boxes on his trolley. 

She took a look around her desk to see if there was any available space to put the packages but to no avail. 

“You can just leave them there.” she said and began rolling up her sleeves. 

“You sure?” the man asked, “these are quite heavy.” 

She reassured him by telling him that she deals with deliveries every Monday and that this was no different to prior ones. She bid the delivery man farewell as he disappeared through the elevator doors with the same concerned face that never left during their entire interaction. 

"Finally something to do.” she thought and with that, began working on the boxes. 

Taehyung struggled to keep his eyes open during the meeting. He opted to rest his chin on his hand and pretend to take notes when in reality, his eyes were closed and he was drawing random shapes in his notepad. From the moment he received emails outlining what the meeting entailed, he knew it meant absolutely nothing to him. He didn’t actually know why he agreed to be a part of it but he was definitely regretting his decision to do so. Taehyung had a long list of tasks to fulfill especially since he was only a month onboard this company and this meeting was wasting his time. Wanting to make a good impression on his employees, Taehyung tried really hard to pay attention but he simply could not trick himself into caring as the minutes ticked by. He racked his brain on ways to escape and took a deep breath before pursuing his liberation. Taehyung looked at his apple watch and feigned surprise at a non-existent message on it. 

“Everyone, I apologize for leaving so suddenly but there is an issue I have to attend.” he announced while getting up from his seat. 

He uttered a few more apologies before leaving the boardroom and closing the door. It wasn’t until he was out in the hallway by himself that he suddenly felt incredibly foolish over how easy it was to leave. He sat in that godforsaken room for almost an hour thinking of ways to flee and that was all it took. Pinching the bridge of his nose and inhaling a sharp breath, Taehyung made his way back to his office. 

“Holy shit! What is in here?!” she groaned struggling to lift more boxes from within the delivery boxes.  

In the span of an hour, she was still working on one of the four boxes delivered. Perhaps she should’ve listened to the delivery man earlier but her pride got in the way. It didn’t help that the skirt she was wearing today was a lot shorter than her usual choices but all her work clothes were currently in the wash as she simply could not be bothered to do laundry over the weekend. Every time she lifted something up, she had to immediately place the item somewhere so she could pull her skirt down or she’d accidentally flash the office. 

She attempted to set one box down on her desk and winced when it slipped from her fingers and landed on the floor with a heavy thud. She waited a few seconds to see if anyone came out to figure out what the noise was and breathed a sigh of relief when the office remained undisturbed.

“Better than aimlessly scrolling through Instagram.” she thought before bending over to pick up anything that fell out. 

“Do you need help?” a familiar voice called out. 

She jumped in her shoes and proceeded to drop everything from her arms. She snapped her body up to see who it was and surprising her again for the second time today, Taehyung was standing in front of her desk with a curious look on his face. 

“I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that,” he apologized profusely as he made his way behind her desk, “please let me help you!” 

It took her a beat to register her appearance and she quickly pulled down her skirt that was riding up way too close to her crotch. She smoothed her hair before attempting to stop Taehyung from doing anything. 

“No, no don’t worry!” she laughed as he held up the items out of her reach. 

“If you want it then you have to grow a whole foot taller.” he teased. 

“You have a meeting to go back to.” she reminded him to which he scrunched his face in disapproval. 

Just as she was slowly convincing Taehyung to go back, his face turned from playfulness to dread when the boardroom door opened. 

“Let me ask Taehyung to join the meeting again.” a colleague’s voice could be heard before their footsteps approached the lobby.  

She was about to tell Taehyung that he was needed when he ducked under her already cramped desk and put a finger to his lips as his eyes pleaded for her to keep quiet. Before she could process what was happening, Jin, her coworker appeared. 

“Hey! Is Taehyung around?” Jin asked as he marvelled at all the boxes spread out in the lobby. 

She stood still trying to calm her nerves. On one hand, she was fighting against the biggest laughing fit of her life and on the other, Taehyung her boss, expected her to cover for him as he cowered under her desk. 

“He is...” she glanced down at Taehyung who was now shaking his head and making a cutting motion with his hand, “I-I haven’t seen him actually! Is he not in the meeting?” 

Jin cocked a brow and leaned over her desk trying to see what she was looking at. 

“Is everything okay? You look like you just saw a ghost.” he laughed. 

She forced a smile and shook her head, “Oh yeah I’m fine! My computer’s been acting up all day and it’s getting a little worrisome with everything going on.” 

Taehyung was impressed by how quick she was on her feet and slowly breathed a sigh of relief until he heard Jin offer to come around and take a look at her computer for her. This whole situation was already absolutely ridiculous and humiliating until she sat down on her chair to click a few keys and feign relief that her computer was magically working again. The issue was no longer the fact that Taehyung was hiding from his employees but that he was contorted under her desk that was way too small for his large frame, now with her cunt inches away from his face. 

“Well now that you’re here anyways, I was hoping you could help me with some paper work and scheduling.” Jin said. 

“S-sure.” she managed to answer despite her throat drying up and the adrenaline slowly making its way through her veins. 

She could feel every time Taehyung breathed because his exhales would land right against her inner thigh and when he sighed, she could feel it right against her sex. Her thong provided little to no protection against any sensation caused by him. She tried to clamp her thighs together but her knees would hit Taehyung’s face in the process causing her to open her legs again as a reflex and there was no more room for Taehyung to back up against.

“Are you okay?” Jin asked. 

She could only nod as a response; she did not trust her voice to come out stable and natural. The battle she was fighting up there was mutually shared by Taehyung underneath. His brain was going a million miles a minute as he tried to figure out how to talk to her after this. How was he going to make this all alright and normal? He could offer her a raise and an extra week of paid vacation? Maybe he could fire her but he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if he did that. Taehyung was beating himself up for putting her in a situation like this and began to mentally prep for a lawsuit. While trying to figure out a solution, Taehyung forgot that he was just a man with a simple brain and another mental battle was underway as he tried very hard to avoid gazing somewhere he really shouldn’t. As she kept squirming, her skirt kept rising and Taehyung couldn’t help but steal a glance at the growing wetness appearing on her undergarment. The growing arousal within Taehyung’s pants made him feel more cramped and with his legs were beginning to fall asleep, he began to pray to any god out there for some sort of divine intervention. 

“Fuck fuck fuck...oh my fucking god,” he chanted in his head, “Jin shut the fuck up already.”

A gasp escaping from her lips followed by her suddenly jolting startled Jin and he gave her an odd look. Taehyung had completely lost feeling in both of his feet and he fell over grabbing onto her thighs for support. His hands felt so warm against her skin and their sheer size grabbed a lot more area than anticipated. Taehyung fought back a groan when the bottom of her skirt had flipped over and her entire lower region was in full view. 

“Hey Jin, is it okay if we do this over email? I’m suddenly not feeling so well.” she was able to muster out. 

It didn’t take a doctor to know something was wrong from her complexion turning completely pale. 

“Yeah I think you should go home for the rest of the day. You really don’t look well,” Jin acknowledged with furrowed brows, “I’ll just catch Taehyung up with the meeting myself.” 

The minute she heard the boardroom doors close, she pushed her chair back so forcefully that it crashed into the wall behind her. She got up and immediately pulled her skirt down and made a beeline towards the washroom without saying a single word to Taehyung. Taehyung on the other hand stayed fixed under her desk with his eyes bulged and his mouth ajar. There was absolutely no positive outcome for what he had caused. 

[hopetofantasy]

Actress Nora Dari (wtFOCK): “I hope I don't go crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if that happens”

Two years ago she was allowed to bump into Matteo Simoni in ‘Patser’, now your fifteen-year-old knows her as Yasmina from ‘wtFOCK’ and she ended up in Cannes because of the new film by Bas Devos. Where it ends for Nora Dari remains to be seen, but you don't want to get in her way. “You’ve been looking so long for a Moroccan girl who wants to act and then you get me.”

“So I always try to be a bit low key...” She hesitates. "Eumh, do you know what 'low key' means?" "How much of antique do you think I am exactly?" “Gosh. You have a flip cover for your smartphone, I saw.” “Point for Dari. But what are you trying to be a bit low key...” “Huh? Sorry, I have no idea anymore. I was completely distracted by that pigeon over there.” It’s easy to forget - especially when she starts talking in her Genk dialect about her sky-high ambitions or her tough childhood in Winterslag - that Nora Dari is barely seventeen. After all, she’s already accumulated a nice record of achievements in two years. From the Belgian-Finnish crime series ‘Bullets’ (shown on Telenet) and a leading role in ‘wtFOCK’, the online series of SBS and Telenet, to her supporting role in ‘Ghost Tropic’, the most recent full-length movie by Bas Devos, who made the selection of Quinzaine des Réalisateurs in Cannes in May. The day after our conversation at an Antwerp terrace, she  leaves for London, for a fourth and final audition for a lead role in an international film project. “It looks good, but I can't tell you anything about it yet. That’s a tough assignment for me: my whole body really wants to scream. Seriously, I'm pretty much the Moroccan Tom Holland (Spider-Man, and the spoiler king of Marvel's Cinematic Universe). But I'll remain silent!”

How does a large, international production house ends up at your door? Nora Dari: “I started knocking on their door. I'm really not going to sit around and wait for someone to discover me miraculously, so if someone gives me a tip about an interesting movie, I'll go after it myself. I always want more and everything I set my mind to, seems to be working. An international series, ‘wtFOCK’, Cannes with my first film role and now this latest project is also within reach. Can you blame me for believing? In my head, I'm already in Hollywood. First become a Shooting Star at the Berlinale.” Just in between everything? Dari: “You can dream, right? Acknowledgement is not for me - I don't even know who decide such things - but rather, it’s a means to an end. If you end up in the same list of acting prodigies (those Shooting Stars) as Marwan Kenzari, Matteo Simoni and Matthias Schoenaerts, every director knows who you are.” You can also quietly build an acting career in Belgium. Or is that really not an option? Dari: “Why should I linger on a few square meters? My world was so small in Winterslag and now that it’s gradually getting bigger, I really don't know why I should stop at Flanders. Even if ambition is a very dirty word where I come from.”

How? Dari: “Winterslag is a neighborhood where many young people are going into the wrong direction. Big dreams are taboo, apparently. I was bullied, mainly because I wanted to start something with my life. Even if I said that I would one day want to go to New York, I would be laughed at: “Just sit down, Nora! Who do you think you are?”

Keep your head down, keep your nose clean and make sure that you can start working at the age of eighteen: something like that? Dari: *nods* “Graduating and going to work at the age of eighteen seems like quite an achievement in Winterslag. If you hadn't gotten into the wrong shit by then, you would’ve done well. At my school, we had two pupils without an immigration background and otherwise exclusively Turks, Moroccans and Italians from families who were really poor. Our parents worked very hard, you spend a lot of time on the street and bad things sometimes happened. *thinks* There’s a reason why I almost exclusively watch gangstershit movies. I come from a neighborhood where a lot of gangstershit happens. I’ve seen and experienced so many bad things, but at the same time Winterslag is such a big part of who I am and I get very angry when someone else talks about it like I do now. *small laugh* 

I’ll buy a house there one day. It’s still my home, all the beautiful things and all the rotten things in one pile. To be clear: I don't want to romanticize my childhood. Winterslag is hard, but nothing to be sad about. There are so many people who have gone through the same thing. Only, it sucks to be called a whore, because you want to do something that is apparently 'not normal'.”

It dawns on me why you once said that Algerian-Canadian Zaho's song Kif'n'dir summed you up quite nicely. Especially the text 'Je fais la morte pour ne pas mourir'. Dari: “That's what I've been doing for a long time. Keeping myself deathly still and don’t stand out too much. In the long run, you also start to believe what others are telling you, that acting is not for you.”

When did you finally stopping ‘being death’? Dari: “When I was fifteen, when I heard that Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah were looking for extras for ‘Patser’. That didn't mean much more than just bumping into Matteo Simoni, but I was sold immediately. In between shots, I approached Adil: “Mr. El Arbi, thank you for opening my eyes. From now on, I’ll go all out for this.” *laughs* We clicked and in the meantime we’ve become friends. I hope he thinks of me when they start recording ‘Patsers’, so that I can show how much I've grown in those two years.”

Not much later, through their casting agency Hakuna, you ended up as a suicide bomber in the Finnish-Belgian Crime series ‘Bullets’. What have I missed? How did you go from a sixteen-year-old extra to such an intense role in a few months? Dari: “I think - if I may say that - they were shocked after my casting. I’ve never thrown myself into a project as hard in my life. Whining. Shouting. Tantrums. All fucking emotions, one after the other. You’ve been looking so long for a Moroccan girl who wants to act and then you get me. *laughs* I've never loved anything as much as acting, so I’m giving everything during a casting. I know that I’m not the best and still have to learn, but I suspect my energy is making up for it. That, and I consider myself a very pleasant colleague. *laughs* I greet everyone in a Genk dialect, always walk around smiling and even bring cookies.

I've always had the feeling that I have to work harder than the rest, because people expect less of me. That's what my father taught my brothers and me. At the Liège boarding school where he studied, he was the only Moroccan in Latin studies: his classmates thought he was weird, because of his origins and the other Moroccans looked at him weirdly, because he aimed higher. "Ah, Mr. pope is back there." In the end it became so unbearable that he enrolled in the TSO (technical school), which was socially accepted.”

How does a 16-year-old feel like a suicide bomber? Dari: “They gave me a background, but I added a few things myself to make it easier. And music helps me really hard too: ‘Qui suis-je’ from Scylla on repeat and then a little method acting in that character. My mother was there on set and apparently got terrified. *laughs* I asked them not to accompany me anymore. When I see them, I come back to myself, while I try very hard to forget myself in front of the camera. I need to be able to get into a role on set. Although it remains very strange to hype yourself up for hours with the mantra 'I'm dying and I'm taking all these people with me'. Fortunately, I can also easily let go. I had to, I had exams the next day. *laughs* Suicide bomber by day, studying economy by night.”

In May you hopped around on the Croisette for the world premiere of ‘Ghost Tropic’. You play the daughter of Khadija, a woman who walks home through Brussels after falling asleep on the metro. Devos makes quiet, poetic arthouse films: it’s a huge leap from teenage series and thrillers. Dari: “It was an adjustment, yes. Before I played in ‘Bullets’, I had never even seen a Flemish film. Not a single one. Or wait: one at school. What was it called? I have to give a speech soon, with its protagonist.”

‘Daens’? With Jan Decleir? Dari: “That one! Everything I had already learned about acting was from Hollywood movies. That enlarged playing style also worked in ‘Bullets’, but when I tried that in ‘Ghost Tropic’, Bas blocked it very quickly. *laughs* "The less you do the better, Nora!" I thought about it all too hard. "Nora, just go." “Yes, but Bas, who am I? What have I been through up to this point?” I have a hard time playing without a backstory in my head.”

Did you learn something from Devos? Dari: “Bas and Maaike Neuville told me in Cannes that I shouldn’t forget to live. I was only busy with what should be my next big step, but I also have to learn to enjoy. Surrendering is nothing dirty, but if I put everything aside for this job, I’ll never be able to put content in my characters. Then they’ll give me a heavy role and I’ll get stuck.”

Sensible advice. Alarm bells already went off when I read in ‘Het Belang van Limburg’ that you certainly wanted to remain celibate until you were 27 and wouldn’t continue your studies, just focussing on your career. Dari: “In the end, I’ll study cross-media management and I’ve come back to that other one as well. *laughs* What?! I’m seventeen, I change my mind completely every month. When I am 40, I don't just want to have a nice IMDb profile to look back on.”

'9000 followers? That is more people than have seen my last film', Devos thought humbly in your Instagram Stories. Dari: “I hope ‘Ghost Tropic’ gets more visitors than I have followers, but I'm not going to bitch if only fifty people come to watch the film in the end. I just like to act and have hardly seen anything from ‘Bullets’ or ‘wtFOCK’ myself. When I'm not on set, I just feel bad. As if I'm not getting the most out of my life. 

At the very least, ‘Ghost Tropic’ gave me another experience and I was able to take my father with me, when we went to the Dominican Republic. My grandfather had passed away just before the shoot and we kind of processed that together there, while we were watching the sunrise at five in the morning. A very tender moment. Very cinematic, too. *thinks* I’m a very passionate person. Everything I experience is immediately very big. It’s all hard, good or bad. So hard that I can't always process all the feelings. *dryly* I hope I don't go crazy. I really wouldn't be surprised if that happens.”

You seem to be especially prone to obsessions. Whether it’s making music, painting or acting: if you decide to do something, everything has to make way for it. Dari: “When I got a keyboard, I was immediately very invested in my music. Making beats to accompany my slam poetry, tinkering at night, searching and keeping my parents awake until they went crazy. And then I suddenly got tired of it and started painting. Swimming. Dancing. I also played soccer for a while, mainly to get my dad's attention. During the 'consultation hour' around the tajine I could never have a chat with my brothers and father, because it was only about football and anime.”

Anime? Dari: “The men in my family are all next-level anime fans. They even speak Japanese to each other. *thinks* And I also plunged into my religion for a while, in between football and slam poetry.”

How? Dari: “When the community center closed its doors around the age of 13 and I saw a whole circle of friends go away in one go, I started clinging to something else. So, faith. At that time I also wore a hijab, because I was convinced that you could only be such a good Muslim. I was really pretty strict and took everything way too literally. Today I understand that you mainly have to look for your own interpretation.”

In the meantime, the average 15-year-old is also going through a storm for the second season of wtFOCK, which can be followed daily on Instagram and wtfock.be, good for about 400,000 visitors a week and more than 8 million watched - or at least started - episodes. Significantly more than the first season, although that also had good numbers. Especially for a series that was deliberately launched in silence. “You’re already bombarded with advertising on Instagram, subtle and less subtle,” says Dari, while she tries so intensely to make eye contact with a waiter that he almost bumps into a glass door. “I don't have any big theories about the future of television, but ‘wtFOCK’ really was a relief. It’s on the internet and you mainly do what you want with it. "Ah, I don't have to look?" That unforced approach works. The worst thing that could have happened to us, was that the press started writing about it en masse: it had to remain a bit mysterious and above all belong to the young people themselves. Normally we don't give interviews either: ‘wtFOCK’ is one big bubble that you shouldn't talk too much about.”

Without any illusions about the appeal of Knack Focus to fifteen-year-olds: is this conversation a good idea? Dari: “Sounds okay to me. I’m more now than just Yasmina? And I think fifteen-year-olds do know Knack.” 

For real? Dari: “That's the book we get in History as source material in class. *laughs* I think I'll stop giving interviews again after this. A little mystery can't hurt.”

SKAM, the Norwegian series of which ‘wtFOCK’ is a remake, became a hit in its own country. That’s not always the case with foreign remakes, except for the Flemish one. It continues to gain popularity. Do you have an explanation for that? Dari: “No idea why things were less successful in other countries, but ‘wtFOCK’ is so good because it is real. We don't disguise anything, don't pour Hollywood sauce on it and talk like I talk to my friends. Apparently, a lot of teachers also follow the series to get a better understanding of their students. Smart, because we tackle all issues a teenager has in a very realistic way.”

The makers of SKAM were prepared with a tour through its country and a survey of Norwegian teenagers. Their biggest conclusion was: no generation suffers as much from performance pressure and comparison anxiety as yours. Dari: “Social media. Instagram is a very beautiful, but at the same time very scary place. A lot of girls now ask me, for example, how they can also enter this profession. But if you ask them why, it turns out that there’s no passion, they just see it as a fast road to fame. Then join ‘Temptation Island’? They see  people like Millie Bobby Brown (from Stranger Things), who is barely fifteen and has a crazy career and they let themselves be hyped about it. I should actually say 'we'. I said it already: I ​​hope I don't go crazy.” *giggles hysterically* 

About 1200 teenagers showed up for the casting of wtFOCK, but the makers did not find their Yasmina there. Dari: *nods* “In the end they also had to call Adil, who gave me the tip.”

Why do you think that is? Dari: “I get angry when someone says they want more diversity, but can't find anyone. *throws arms up dramatically* "They aren't there!" They are there. In my neighborhood alone, so much talent is packed together. You may have to do your best to find them, because if you come from a neighborhood where ambition is laughed at, you’ll not find your way to a casting. Because the TV and film world seem so closed off from the outside - and it is. I also didn't know how to do that, I was just lucky that Adil, Nora Gharib and Ikram Aoulad wanted to help me. They helped me avoid a lot of rookie mistakes. And that I won't sign myself up for Temptation Island or something tomorrow.” *laughs*

Gharib also predicted that as a Moroccan woman she would have problems with ‘Patser’. From the moment you do not portray a classic religious Muslim woman, it seems to already lead to commentary. Dari: “I've had my part too. Women who send to me that I brought shame on the entire Moroccan community, for example, because Yasmina doesn't always wear her hijab. Usually these are women who’ve seen two minutes of the series and then get angry without seeing the context. *blows* You know, I don’t care. If my parents and I are okay with it, then no one has anything to say to me. Criticism slips away from me. It really takes more than an angry DM to get me off my path, I come from Winterslag breeding.”

*** Bas Devos, director ‘Ghost Tropic’:

“I had never seen Nora at work, but her audition video immediately made me curious. At the final casting, where she had to improvise a bit, it was already clear to me after a few minutes. She did a beautiful job. Nora is not trained as an actress, but I often work with a combination of non-professional and professional actors. That really doesn't matter to me. It's all about how naturally someone relates to the camera and how relaxed you are while being filmed. Then very beautiful things can happen. And I think she also liked not having to make her character bigger in an understated film like ‘Ghost Tropic’, as that’s sometimes the case for TV. To hear that you are still playing without doing anything. 

It's cool how she dares to go for something so outspokenly at such a young age, but I did point out to her that working alone isn’t the perfect solution. She’s very fond of that international career, but it is also easy to walk into a wall there. Seventeen-year-olds have to live, right? Well, she's sensible enough, I'm not worried. She'll eventually find the right balance. At the end of the shooting period, she said she hoped we could work together again. I told her that I hope she still likes it by then. *laughs*  Who knows which films will she be in then.”

[waterparchive]

Woodrow Whyte — May 19, 2021

"I don’t know if I want a lot of musicians I love to know I exist because then the possibility of them thinking I suck comes into play"

To quote a famous drag queen, the cheek, the nerve, the gall, the audacity and the gumption of Waterparks to name their fourth album Greatest Hits. It's a bold statement but if anyone can pull it off, it's the Houston trio and their charismatic frontman Awsten Knight.

Like many releases this year, most of the record was written, recorded and produced during the pandemic, and the enforced downtime leant itself to introspective songwriting sessions.

"When you’re alone for so long, it takes a toll on you and forces you to examine yourself more", Awsten said in promotional materials for the album, before adding “When you hear this album, I hope you walk away feeling like there’s no other band doing anything like it. In my opinion, these are our Greatest Hits. As long as you go into it without expectations of prior things, I think it’s going to be your favourite fucking Waterparks album.”

Fans won't have long to find out if the Greatest Hits lives up to its name, as it drops this Friday. To tide you over until then, we asked Awsten to take a trip down memory lane with our My Life In 20 questions.

20) What did you learn about yourself in 2020?

I learned that I can stop using social media if I want to. I knew we weren’t gonna be doing anything so I took a good 6 months off and when it was time to come back in September, I really didn’t want to. I broke that addiction to checking Twitter all the time. It was cool though because we also grew a lot in that period, so I didn’t have to feel guilty for taking that time.

19) What was your favourite album from 2019?

FANDOM. I make all the songs I wish someone else would because they’d be my favourite band if they did. I’ll also say Igor, Amo, Weezer (Black Album), When We All Fall Asleep..., Anonymous, 7, prob some others but the wiki list is very long and I still have 18 questions to go.

18) What was the most important thing to happen in your life when you were 18?

Graduating high school, I guess? Getting a car was good too! I got my permit late because I was scared to drive and didn’t really care about going places, what a dope guy!

17) Who was your crush at 17?

I’m kinda blanking. Maybe Miley Cyrus?? Do people normally remember this stuff?

16) What can you remember about your 16th birthday?

I truly don’t remember it. I was probably wearing a studded belt if that helps though.

15) What did you hate at 15 which you love now?

I hated the straight edge youth crew dudes that would hang out at local venues and crowd kill when there were only like 40 people, like bitch you’re 28 and I’m 15, stop punching kids you my children my bride looking bitch good lordddd corniest dudes ever, looking like Christian Joe Dirt punching kids for scene clout.

14) What TV show were you obsessed with at 14?

I think 14 I was into Dexter. Amazing show but oh my god that ending. I didn’t have opinions back then about quality, but even at that time I was like 

13) 13 is unlucky for some. Do you have anything that you’re superstitious about?

I’m very superstitious. Before shows I need everyone to stay away from me and let me play solitaire. I don’t walk under ladders, you can’t split the pole when you’re walking with people, I sage myself when I come home from anywhere, whole lotta stuff, baby.

12) If you could live the life of any other person for 12 hours, who would you be and why?

Honestly I’m fine being me, but if it was just for like 12 hours uhhhhh Charlie Day so I can do that thing with my voice when he says “OOAH HELLLLAOOOH”

11) Who was your best friend when you were 11?

Everyone I was friends with before music was just a friend via proximity, like we were on the same sports teams or had the same classes. That’s how it is when you’re younger. You don’t choose that shit when you’re younger, you’re just like, 'You’re near me, what’s up do u like Captain Underpants?' That’s kinda the deal until you’re old enough to be picky. I remember being friends with these twin dudes on swim team Benito and Ernesto, shout out those dudes wherever they are!!!

10) Where do you hope you'll be in ten years time?

Somewhere the internet can’t find me. I hope I’m into some stupid shit like boats, no wifi on the water.

9) What was your biggest fear when you were 9?

Ghosts, I think. And yeah, I used to hear voices! Not dope!

8) When you were 8, what did you want to be when you grew up?  

I used to want to be an author/illustrator for kids books and an archaeologist! I’ll still do the kids books but, man, archaeologists have to be in the sun so much and I need to keep my skin cute so people buy my album. Greatest Hits May 21.

7) Which of the seven deadly sins are you most guilty of?

I just googled them for a refresher and it’s all anime. I’d either say envy or anger. By the way, who made this? It’s stupid as fuck that “anger” is a sin, like huh??????? Bitch I’ll kill you.

6) You can invite six people to your dream dinner party (dead or alive), who would you invite?

No dead people at my dinner party, gross smell. Here’s the thing, I don’t know if I want a lot of musicians I love to know I exist because then the possibility of them thinking I suck comes into play, and if someone like Donald Glover actively had the thought “god, Awsten sucks”, I’d be devastated. So I don't know if I want anyone in that realm to know who I am, I’m cool with loving them from afar.

I’m gonna say a group of people who have nothing to do with me. Like, 6 people who are working on the next Conjuring movie and I just wanna listen in on them and be like, “holy shit??????” I love y’all so much. Quick shout out Lin Shaye.

5) Name five things you can't live without.

Besides the obvious ones: dogs, personal space, sunglasses that cover most of my head, coffee, and tennis/biking. I need to tire myself out as much as possible or I get moody.

4) Describe yourself in four words.

Capricorn. Flexible. Weirdly tall.

3) Your top three songs of all time.

The Beach Boys - 'Wouldn’t It Be Nice', Rihanna - 'Bitch Better Have My Money', and Macklemore - 'Thrift Shop'.

2) Name two things on your bucket list.

A platinum Waterparks album, get a horror music video produced by Blum House.

1) What or who is your one true love?

Having one true love would be scary! Too much emphasis on one thing, too much to lose; can’t put that much on one person either! That’s a crazy level of pressure and expectation! Also Gwen Stefani.

[missmorosis]

Bad Days

AHH hi everyone! So this was kinda all over the place- also @urmomoness​ i couldn’t put him in jail. I just couldn’t. Not even for his ponytail crime.

Enjoy another Zuko x Reader! Sorry for doing this to Zuko ahaha- I’m writing like two more Sokka x readers soon to MAYYYBEEE make up for it!! 💖

AHH also! I just reached 40 followers & this is my 200th post :) I love all of you guys, thank you so so so much!! 💖🧡🥺💛💚🥰💗😭✨💜

Pairing: Zuko x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k :)

Warnings: None!

Summary: Zuko was having a really bad day until Y/N came along to cheer him up!

Zuko was having a bad day. Scratch that, his day was worse than bad. 

To start off his day, he clicked his phone on to check the time. The time “7:49 AM” flashed up at him. He had 41 minutes to get to work, which was enough time since he just had to get in the car by 8:00. It was a thirty-minute drive, and his shift started at 8:30. He got ready, throwing on some clean clothes, brushing his teeth, and combing his hair. He hopped into the car, sticking his hand into his pocket, searching for his keys. 

Shoot. He forgot his keys. He ran back into the house, almost tripping over himself, frantically searching for his car keys. He looked under his mail, around the counter, and in every drawer. Where were they…? 

On the edge of his vision, he spotted something bright yellow, hidden under some papers. He shuffled them around and sighed. Thank goodness for Y/N. She had attached a neon yellow cat keychain onto his keys. Now slightly smiling at the memory, he ran back to his car, starting his engine. He pulled out of the driveway but frowned. 

Why was the engine making that sound? The car sputtered to a stop. Zuko cursed, jumping out of the car to try and see what was wrong. Smoke was blowing out of the front, and Zuko knew that he couldn’t take the car to work anymore. The only choice he had was to go on foot or catch a bus. The coffee shop was 12 miles away, so he decided to go with riding the bus. He Googled the nearest bus stop and went from there. The closest bus stop was 5 minutes away, and the bus was 3 minutes from reaching that stop! 

He ran as fast as he could in order to make it in time, rushing past trees and almost tripping over himself a couple of times. Breathing heavily, he plopped onto the bus stop bench as soon as he arrived. The bench was cold, but he didn’t mind. He was just relieved that he made it in time- 

What was that…? He squinted at something in the distance and cursed. The bus already left, and it was getting farther every second. Zuko pulled his hair in frustration. WHY. DID. EVERYTHING. SUCK. 

Sighing, he started jogging on the sidewalk, heading toward the coffee shop.

“Zuko?” A white car pulled up next to him after a good amount of time jogging. The window rolled down, revealing a smiling Y/N behind the wheel. 

“Y/N! Oh thank goodness, can you please drive me to work? I woke up on time, but I couldn’t find my keys and my car broke down, so I had to take the bus, but the bus left witho-” Y/N stopped Zuko from rambling and unlocked the car door.

“Get in, loser,” she said, laughing. Zuko let out a sigh of relief as he got in next to her, closing the car door behind him.

“Thank you so much, you’re a lifesaver.” He meant it. Zuko didn’t know what he would do if she wasn’t here right now.

“I know. You owe me some boba later, though.” Zuko rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Please take me to work, I’m going to be late.” Y/N started the engine and drove on course to the coffee shop. As soon as they arrived, Y/N blew Zuko a kiss goodbye as he ran into the shop. The bell jingled as he opened the door, rushing in as fast as he could. He glanced at the clock on the wall and cursed under his breath. He was an hour late.

“Zuko. Why were you late? We couldn’t open on time, since you’re our only worker today. I know we said it was going to be a slow day, but that doesn’t mean you can just show up whenever you want to.” His boss looked stern. Zuko looked at the floor, nervous for what was about to come.

“I’m sorry, my car broke down.”

“You missed one hour of your shift.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Zuko. There are a lot of others who want this job. You aren’t exactly the best at making coffee either.” Zuko bit his lip. He knew what was coming.

“I- I know.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to give your job to someone else. I’ll send your last paycheck to you on Monday.” His heart sank. He was officially fired from his job for being late. He knew that the manager was really picky about their workers, but he didn’t know that being late was enough to get fired. 

“I... understand.” He opened the front door of the cafe, unable to look anyone in the eye as he walked out. The bell jingled again behind him when he closed the door, leaving the coffee shop behind. He walked away, biting his lip to stop himself from crying. He was just fired. He had no job. He let that sink it. He was just fired. He had no job. 

He looked around to see that Y/N’s car was still in the parking lot, and she was just getting ready to pull out. Zuko ran up (he was getting tired of running) and knocked on her car window. She looked up, giving him a perplexed look, but perhaps looking at the state Zuko was in, her face softened. She reached out to open the car door for him, and he fell in. 

They drove for a bit in silence, and Zuko thought about what just happened. What was he going to do…? He had no job, he needed a new source of income. He sighed, causing Y/N to glance at him. She kept driving until they pulled up at a boba shop, and now it was Zuko’s turn to look confused.

“Y/N, what are we doing here?” he asked. Y/N smiled at him.

“Well, I know you already owe me boba, but I decided to treat you since you look like you need it.” Y/N parked her car and got out. Zuko opened and closed the car door, making sure that Y/N locked the car, just in case, before he went on. Y/N grabbed his hand and pulled him with her into the boba shop. 

He had never been to this place before, and as he stood in line with Y/N by his side, he saw that the shop was called “The Jasmine Dragon.” Hm, interesting name… Zuko thought the name had a nice ring to it. 

When it was his turn to order, he had no idea what to get, but luckily, Y/N had his back. “We’ll take two White Lotus teas, please! One with boba, and one without.” Y/N turned to Zuko and whispered, “I promise you’ll like it! It’s totally your taste. Also, I know you hate boba, so yeah.” She remembered... Zuko’s heart felt warm. Y/N remembered the littlest details about him, and he was lucky to have her. 

Together, they sat down at a table for two, waiting for their order. When one of the employees called their order number, Y/N gestured for him to stay seated as she went to get their drinks. 

She was taking a lot of time to just pick up drinks… After another minute or so, she came back with two teas in her hands. They were aesthetically pleasing; some foamed milk floating to the top of the translucent drink, a bit of brown sugar falling down from the sides. Zuko almost wanted to “instagram” it, even though he wasn’t even that type of person. 

“Come on, try a sip.” Y/N pushed one closer to Zuko. He pulled it to his lips, trying a taste. Oh. Oh wow. It was sweet, but not too sweet. It was light and cold, refreshing his taste buds. The flavor was a perfect balance- 

“This… this is the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” His eyes widened. Was it possible for anything to taste this heavenly?

“I know, right?! It’s SO good! People say it’s the best in the entire city of Ba Sing Se and I agree.” She stuck the straw into her mouth, drinking the tea as if the straw was permanently stuck to her lips. 

Together, they walked out of The Jasmine Dragon, drinks still in their hands. 

“Oh!” Y/N turned around to face him. “There’s more!” Her eyes twinkled. More..? “I scored an interview on Tuesday for you! I saw that they were hiring, and I knew something happened to your job earlier.” That’s what she was doing… 

“Y/N…” His voice trailed off. “Thank you.” He smiled at her, unable to express his gratitude.

“You still owe me boba!” She laughed, getting into the car once more.

Zuko was having a bad day, but when he ran into Y/N, his day got a lot better.

A/N: hopefully this wasn’t too bad! firing zuko was honestly hard but ofc he has a y/n to cheer him up! LOVE YALL!! thank you for reading 🥺💖

again, thank you for 40 followers & 200 posts :)

Writing Masterlist

Taglist! @urmomoness​

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

I just discovered the cns au today but I love it so much 🥺 Not sure if you discussed it before since I’m still reading through stuff but — do you think the staff who are on their 1st year did some sort of a bonding activity tgt at some point? They seem to be a diverse group to say the least (lol) but I think someone could’ve tried to put them together and say it is a mandatory activity for the ‘newbies’ at camp??? (my heart says boo seungkwan but maybe you have another candidate for this lmao)

Lee Gahyeon x Lee Chan

I thought this was cute but it got really long oops. Chan gets kinda mean at one point. That’s the only thing I think needs a warning.

[10:02]

“Do we have to do this?” Gahyeon grumbled.

“Believe me, I’d much rather be hiking than here right now,” Chan scoffed.

“Yeah, I had plans today,” Yeosang said.

“Quiet,” Seungkwan warned. “This is fun. We’re going to have fun and get to know each other better.” He looked at Yeosang. “And no you didn’t. I know you didn’t.”

Yeosang crossed his arms over his chest, disgruntled. 

“It really will be a good time,” Mingi said brightly. “You guys will have fun and get to know each other. It’s good to bond.”

Gahyeon shifted closer the Chaeyoung as she looked at the small group. Seungkwan and Mingi had insisted on collecting the new staff and spending the day doing... something. She wasn’t sure what. They had done ice breakers before, they didn’t need more trust falls and silly games to remember everyone’s name.

At present Chaeyoung and Yeosang looked bored. San looked sad. Chan was obviously ignoring her in the loudest way possible. And Jongho was just staring at his feet.

Sure. Fun.

“I’m not doing more trust falls,” Gahyeon said.

“Those were lame,” Yeosang chimed in.

“You are all so ungrateful,” Seungkwan sighed, pinching his nose and a hand on his hip. “We’re doing something fun for you.”

“Doubt it,” Chan mumbled. Seungkwan shot him a glare as Mingi started to talk.

“It’s not trust falls. We know you all know each others names and don’t need ice breakers. We want you to actually work together. Do you remember bingo night?” Mingi asked.

Chan stood a little taller, puffing out his chest. “Of course we do.”

“You’d think he’s a peacock the way he postures like that,” Gahyeon muttered to Chaeyoung, earning a giggle.

“He’s too full of himself,” She chuckled.

“Well,” Mingi continued. “We have a scavenger hunt for you. You will have to work together, all six of you for some things. But you also will spend most of the day with your partner. It’ll help you get to know them.”

Gahyeon looped her arm around Chaeyoung’s. “Perfect, I call Chaeyoung!”

“Oh no,” Seungkwan said. “We’ve already decided the partners. You just have to deal with it. Also, if you are the first or only pair to finish your list you win...” He pulled a bag of candies, chocolates, and some home baked cookies from his backpack. “...a prize!”

The whole group was much more invested seeing the prize. Even San and Jongho seemed much more interested.

“Alright, give us the lists,” Chan said impatiently.

“Last thing, you finish by 9 tonight and have to have proof of each item,” Seungkwan said. “And unlike bingo night this is pg.”

“Let us get started,” Yeosang said.

“Okay,” Mingi said brightly. “Jongho and San.”

The two looked at each other, Jongho seeming a little shy. They grabbed their sheet before pouring over it.

“Chaeyoung and Yeosang.”

“Wait,” Gahyeon said, feeling her stomach drop. “no.”

“Seungkwan, what the hell!?” Chan protested.

Gahyeon was sure Seungkwan was smirking at them. “Enjoy your day together,” he said, handing Chan the paper.

[12:15]

“Oh hey!” Gahyeon looked up, relieved to see the others approaching them. The last two hours had been snark and silence and it was driving her nuts.

“Perfect,” Gahyeon said. “Let’s do that pyramid.”

“Whatever,” Chan mumbled. Gahyeon threw him a glare. Why did he have to be difficult for no reason?

“Sounds good to me,” Jongho smiled. He seemed a little more comfortable now. “How should we do it?”

“I’ll be on the bottom,” Yeosang said. “I don’t mind. And you’re pretty strong, Jongho.”

“I’ll join then.” He said.

“I’m strong too,” Chan said quick. Gahyeon bit back her laugh. What did he have to prove so badly. “Gahyeon you’re pretty small, maybe you can be on top.”

“I- sure,” she mumbled, feeling a little flustered. Was that a compliment or an insult?

“Looks like you’re having fun.” As Chaeyoung and San climbed on the other three’s backs you looked up to see Minji coming closer. 

“Can you take the picture?” Gahyeon asked.

“Of course,” she said. “It’s cute to see you all working together.”

“It’s painful,” Chan muttered.

Gahyeon climbed up to the top. “Chae, will you knee him in the back for me?” The whole pyramid giggled as Minji took a series of pictures, asking you all to smile for at least a few.

“I took a bunch,” She said. “Good luck with your day.”

“I feel like we need it,” Gahyeon mumbled.

[2:48]

“Okay, what’s next?” Gahyeon sighed.

“We’ve done a lot of it.” Chan looked at the list. “We can climb up on Cheol’s roof once the kids are in bed so they don’t see us.”

“Should we get the boring ones out of the way?” She suggested.

Chan groaned. “I don’t want to do them. The interviewing each other thing is dumb. What do I even need to know about you?”

“You think I want to do it?” She questioned, plopping down in the grass. “I didn’t ask for this. But I want to win.”

“Me too,” he said. “Otherwise I would have dipped. I don’t need to spend any more time with you than necessary.”

Gahyeon rolled her eyes, ignoring the slight sting of his comments. “Yeah, whatever, we can just do this then it’s done.”

“Sure,” he said, sitting down and grabbing a notepad from his bag. “Best moment at camp so far?”

“I don’t know,” She mumbled. “We put music on the first night the campers were here cuz one girl was sad. And we all just danced and jammed out. It was just fun and wholesome.”

“Cool,” Chan said flatly. Gahyeon felt frustration bubbling up inside her. He could at least pretend this didn’t suck for 5 minutes. “Worst moment so far? Should I just say this? Cuz I’m putting down it’s spending the day together.”

“No,” she said through gritted teeth. “Actually last night one of my campers got sick. I held her hair for an hour while she was throwing up and had to get Minji to call her mom.”

“Oh,” Chan said, his tone much more sincere. “That actually sucks.”

“Yeah, I know. I was there.” Gahyeon replied coldly.

“Uh-” He looked back at the questions. “What worried you most about coming to camp?”

“You know what,” Gahyeon said, crossed her arms over her stomach. “I’m doe with this. If we lose we lose.”

“Come on,” he whined. “I won’t say anything this time. I’ll just shut up and write.”

Gahyeon looked away from him, pulling her knees into her chest. “I don’t get along with people easily. I was worried I wouldn’t fit in and everyone would hate me.” She didn’t hear the sound of pencil on paper, instead of Chan placing the notebook down.

“I’m an ass, aren’t I.”

“Yeah, you are,” Gahyeon mumbled.

“I’m sorry. That probably doesn’t mean much.”

“Nope.”

She heard him writing. Then the notebook poked her leg. Gahyeon spared it a glance before taking it reluctantly. Chan didn’t meet her eyes as he passed it. She looked down and read his answers, realizing he’d written something else for the third question.

“You didn’t write what I said.” She said.

“It kinda felt like something you didn’t want everyone to know,” he shrugged. “I don’t think you wanted me to know.”

Gahyeon doodled a star on the page idly. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he said. “You can take a turn asking some questions.”

Gahyeon nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

[8:40]

“Come on,” Gahyeon giggled, dragging Chan to the side of Seungcheol’s office. There was an antenna with a metal base that was easy to climb. “This is the last thing.”

“I’m coming,” he said. “We have time.”

“I like a good margin,” Gahyeon said. She rushed to the metal structure and started to climb. Chan let her go up first. The climb seemed easy but as the evening came dew was settling on things. Gahyeon felt her foot slip as she scrambled.

“Oh my god!” Gahyeon grabbed the metal as she screeched, managing to get a had hold as Chan caught her waist. “Be careful!” He scolded.

“I’m okay,” she said. Still, she climbed more slowly. Chan followed her up closely until they were both of the roof. He took a picture as Gahyeon sat down. He was quick to send it off to Seungkwan before settling beside her.

“Job well done,” he said.

“Looks like we can work together,” Gahyeon said. “Imagine what we could achieve.”

“But then, who’s my competition?” Chan questioned.

Gahyeon felt a smile tug at her lips. “True, it’s more fun that way. So long as you stop being an ass.”

He gave Gahyeon a sheepish grin. “I can do that. We can compete civilly.”

“Agreed.” Said Gahyeon. “But let’s start again tomorrow.”

“Sound good to me.”

[cherrypieships]

the amusement park: chapter one

A/N: Hi all! This is my first fic posted here on my self ship blog! I’m really proud of this story, it’s gonna be a two-parter.

Ship: davey jacobs x pepper simmons (s/i), featuring my best friend V and my gf Khourey and their respective f/os, race higgins and jack kelly!

Summary: Some of the newsies head to Canobie lake's haunted house/amusement park. Pepper and Davey are the only non-couple.

The backseat of Race’s mom’s minivan was one of the last places Pepper wanted to be at 7 o’clock on a Friday morning. Yet here she was, awaiting their arrival to Canobie Lake Park’s annual Screemfest as she got crammed in next to Davey Jacobs.

Not that she disliked Davey. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Pepper liked Davey a whole lot. And that was exactly the problem. Here she was, in such close proximity to him that their knees knocked together every time Violet hit a pothole, harbouring a gigantic crush on her best friend. And everyone in the car knew beside him. And they were totally fifth- and sixth-wheeling on this trip.

It was fine.

Besides, Pepper was willing to endure a few hours pining quietly if it meant she could go on some sick roller coasters. So she sucked it up and tucked quietly into her seat.

Mickey turned around from the middle row and handed Pepper a piece of her chocolate croissant. “You cold back there?” She asked, wild red curls framing her face as she spoke.

After popping the pastry into her mouth, Pepper shrugged. “I’m fucking always cold.”

Jack tugged his hat up from where it rested over his eyes. “That is a fair point, she is always cold.” He said pointedly, and yelped when Pepper flicked the back of his head.

“I have poor circulation, dickhead.” She whined.

Race snickered from the passenger seat. “Good thing my dickhead doesn’t have poor circulation.” He quipped.

Though Pepper couldn’t see it, she could feel Violet rolling their eyes at their boyfriend. “I’m gonna file for divorce, Race.” They picked up their coffee and took a brief sip. “And I’m taking the kids.”

Beside her, Davey was digging around in the duffel bag he’d brought for the ride. He’d described it to Pepper as a ‘Minor Catastrophe Bag’, with a tiny first aid kit, nail clippers, some snacks, ibuprofen, pads, and a pair of tweezers. As much as she would have loved to gently bully him for being such a mother hen, she knew she’d be thanking him later through an inevitable headache. He straightened, finally, and emerged with a sweater. “Um, if you’re really cold,” He held it out to her. “You can wear this. It’s my backup but I’m pretty warm.” He said.

Pepper took the sweater in both hands with a gentle smile, trying to ignore the soft brush of his fingertips against hers. “You sure?” As much as she would love to immediately engulf herself in his clothes, it was Mid-October and she didn’t want to steal Davey’s source of warmth from him.

Like usual, he waved off her gentle concern. “I have my jacket and I’m wearing layers.” He explained, pushing the sweater towards her.

She took it in her hands, hoping and praying that the heat in her face wasn’t visible. “If you insist.” The teasing was playful, as it always had been. Their friendship had existed for years, the product of a few friend groups merging and discovering that they fit like puzzle pieces. Davey always gave up his cherry Starbursts to Pepper because they were her favorite. Pepper let Davey borrow her favorite poetry books. They spent summers at the pool together. Had napped, cried, laughed, celebrated together for what seemed like forever.

So why did wearing his clothes make her so much more flustered than anything before?

She slid the sweater on, enveloping herself in his scent- oh Christ she was dying- and did actually feel much better. Even though the dark blue didn’t exactly match her outfit.

Davey smiled at her. “When will you learn to dress for the weather?” He admonished gently.

“That’s why I keep you around.” Pepper said, rather than admitting that she was just forgetful and liked her outfit too much.

“Davey’s new occupation: Pepper’s coat rack.” Violet chimed in, handing their phone to Race to switch the song that was playing.

Davey sighed. “I’m really putting that college education to good use.”

The rest of the car ride went by relatively quickly, much to Pepper’s delight. They hopped out into the cool autumn air, cracked their cramped joints, and headed into the park. Davey thankfully left most of his supplies in the trunk of the minivan (save for the ibuprofen he’d managed to sneak into Pepper’s purse just in case), so they’d made it through security and into the place without much fuss as well.

Jack, ever the natural born leader of the bunch, snagged a map and immediately started planning their route for the day. He unfurled it in front of the group and, as Mickey curled into his side, eyed the pathways and rollercoasters thoughtfully. “So do you guys wanna start at the front and work our way back? Or the other way around?”

There was a beat of silence as everyone worked the thought over. “We should just head towards the back, I think everyone’s gotta start testing the rides first anyway.” Mickey piped up first.

Davey nodded. “Gives us more time.” He added.

They made the trek towards the back of the park, Mickey and Jack leading with the map.

Race sidled up beside Pepper and hip-checked her. “You been to these haunted houses before?” He asked, making reference to the night-time festivities. Once the sun set, the park released creepily-costumed actors to scare those who stayed, and previously blocked-off areas were transformed into small haunted houses. Truthfully, Pepper had never been to any haunted house, let alone ones set up at an amusement park.

So, she shook her head. “It’s my first haunted house, actually.” Something she’d confided in Mickey and Vi about.

Race feigned a gasp. “Well ain’t this a hell of a place to start!” He elbowed her, and she returned the gesture, their own weird little handshake.

“Are you serious?” Davey asked, his own elbow catching her shoulder, fucking ow, he’s bony.

Pepper nodded. “I was too scared when I was a kid, and then when I stopped being a baby, all that stuff with my mom happened, so I just never went.”

Davey hummed in acknowledgement, evidently eager to skip past the whole ‘my-mom-is-ill’ conversation. “Ah, well. If you need a buddy, I’m sure we’ll be left alone. Together.” He said, his head tilting to their friends, who had once again broken off into couples, leaving them to their own devices.

Shoving the impending smile down, she nodded. “I’m sure we will.”

“Well, we have a good, um,” He checked the watch on his wrist (the one with the brown leather strap that he wore with every outfit, even if Pepper told him it didn’t match, or that it was too clunky.) “Like, ten hours before we need to even think about that.”

She crumpled into a fit of giggles. “Perfect. I’m sure we’ll spend that time wisely.” She swatted his arm as he shoved his watch in front of her face.

---

They did not.

Six and a half hours later, the group stood in line at one of the concession stands, staring at the menu and nodding to the song playing in the background; some mid-2010s Kesha track that was making Vi go absolutely crazy.

Jack squinted at the chalkboard. “They don’t even have chicken tenders here?” He nudged Race. “They don’t even have chicken tenders here.”

Race nodded slowly, also squinting. Pepper wondered, briefly, if the pair needed glasses or if they were just trying to look contemplative. “Mickey���s gonna call it homophobic, you know.” He said.

“It is!” Mickey called dutifully from the table they had snagged for the gang to inevitably sit at. “I’ll take some cheese fries though!” To which Jack nodded and stepped up to the worker behind the plexiglass, beginning to list off the group’s orders.

Vi’s voice floated through Pepper’s ears. “Oh what a shame that you came here with someone,” they approached her, eyes closed and hands up by their shoulders as they got all the way into their performance. “My god, if they have candy apples at a stall somewhere, I’m gonna go buckwild.” They said suddenly, snapping out of their trance to stare at Pepper expectantly.

Before she could say anything, though, Davey stole the words from her mouth. “You are allergic to apples, V.” He chided, maybe more kindly than Pepper would have put it, but she was willing to overlook it for the sake of the way a small smile pulled at his mouth.

Violet dropped their hands. “Only a little bit.” They argued.

“A little bit allergic.” Davey repeated, and Pepper pressed her lips together firmly to fight off the grin at the exasperation in his voice.

“To apples, yes.” They nodded, and, evidently done with arguing, turned to keep Mickey company at the table.

Davey turned to Pepper, disbelief crossing his features. “Can you believe-”

“Yes.” She cut him off. “Yes I absolutely can believe it.” Pepper said, digging through her memory of the times V had pulled some similar shit; eating eleven mozzarella sticks despite their lactose intolerance, buying a Panic! At The Disco vinyl despite wanting Brendon Urie dead, and spending $40 on a Funko Pop figure of Spiderman Noir for no real reason other than some guy at a convention told them to.

Jack turned to his friends. “Okay I did the ordering, someone else has to do the collecting.” He announced, shoving the receipt with the order number on it towards Davey, who had inadvertently become Second In Command. Then, with a signature Jack Kelly Smug Smile, he stalked off to where V and Mickey were seated, Race following behind.

Great, Pepper thought, another conveniently timed moment alone with Davey. Briefly, she wondered if her friends had planned this ahead of time, and then she came to her senses and realized that yes, of course they had. Those conniving little weasels had been conspiring to get Davey to like her since senior prom.

She still remembered the way Mickey had shoved Davey at her when a slow song came on that night. Work Song by Hozier had drifted over the speakers, and V’s elbow caught her in the ribs as they growled a furious “Dance with him or I’ll fucking kill you.” and skipped off to sway with Racer. Pepper had stood on the dance floor, gaping as she watched Jack wink at Vi. Those two never got along about anything.

Davey’s hand had entered her field of vision, skin almost glowing under the light of the mirrorball. He’d smiled sheepishly, admitted that this was one of his favorite songs, and asked if she’d like to share a dance.

The strange thing was, she didn’t actually like Davey before that. At least she thought she didn’t. It wasn’t until she was cradled close to his chest, breathing in the smell of his soap and some soft, powdery cologne he frequented, that she found her heart pounding and her palms going clammy. And when he’d started humming against her hair, one hand in hers and the other around her waist, she knew she was absolutely fucked.

She’d started thinking about it and, yeah, it made sense to want to be with Davey. Handsome Davey, who sometimes made her laugh until soda came out her nose, and whose affinity for children’s cartoons made him the ideal conversation partner. Three years later, she was still in love with him.

And it was all her stupid, evil friends’ faults.

Back in the present, Davey tucked his hands in his pockets, his lips twisting as he lost himself in thought. “We’re gonna have so much shit to carry.” He murmured, exasperated at being the ones left behind.

“We sure are. At least you and Jack ordered drinks, so that’s more stuff to spill.” She twisted a long strand of hair around her finger.

Davey scoffed good-naturedly. “Yeah well you made me leave my water bottle in the car so I needed to be hydrated somehow.”

Pepper kicked at his shin with the toe of her sneaker. “And a caramel hot chocolate is the best way to stay hydrated?” She grinned up at him, watching him tuck the receipt into his back pocket and start moving for the pick-up window as the drink in question was called out.

He hummed in assent. “You bet it is.” He picked up the paper cup, taking a short sip and licking at his bottom lip. Pepper ignored the urge to run her thumb across it.

She must have been staring, because after a second, Davey held the cup out towards her. He didn’t say anything, didn’t need to. She loved chocolate and caramel, and always ran cold. He knew there was no way she’d have turned down a sip if he’d offered, so he must have decided to save his breath. She took the cup in her hands, the warmth emanating from it seeping pleasingly into her palms, and took a sip as well, subconsciously hoping to taste more than the drink. She licked her lips.

Davey watched her intently. He opened his mouth, ready to say something to her, when the order bell rang out. “Order sixty-nine!” The college girl behind the counter announced.

“Oh, fuck yes.” Race cackled from the table. V leaned into him, trying to hide their own laughter as Mickey gave him a high-five.

Pepper sighed, she should’ve known that would be their luck. The pair of them moved forward, Davey pushing in front of her to grab the tray before she could even reach for it. “I got it.” He mumbled, holding onto the plastic tray like a nervous Disney-Channel-Original-Movie teenager. “Grab the drinks, don’t worry about it.” And then he smiled up at her, a closed-lipped little smile that made her heart race as she picked up Jack’s orange soda.

Behind her, someone clicked their tongue. Pepper turned, making immediate eye contact with an older lady with greying black hair and soft folds in her skin, who gave her a knowing smile. “And they say chivalry is dead. You got yourself a sweet one, honey.” She said, then winked.

Pepper’s jaw went slack trying to think of a response. She turned back to Davey, whose eyebrows were so far up his face that they were basically in his hairline. “Oh God,” he said simply, “Um, thank you, ma’am.”

The woman laughed softly, leaned over and patted Pepper’s shoulder as if she knew something Pepper didn’t, and then disappeared into the line to order food.

There was a long, silent moment, where Pepper was racking her brain, searching every corner for something to say that would shift the air, move the mood from awkward to playful with a joke of some sort. She looked at him again, and he was staring at her, unblinking. There was a funny look on his face- regret maybe- his eyebrows low and his eyes a little soft. She wondered, distantly, if he was realizing that she was in love with him; if it was a look of pity-

“Hurry up with my goddamn cheese fries!” Mickey yelled, their hunger obviously taking control over their inhibition.

Without a second thought, Pepper turned on her heel and walked to where their friends were, leaving Davey and the unnerving encounter behind.