#just move along and let the old lady yell at nebulae

[etakeh]

OK SO the short version is: this wasn't meant for me. I might fit the target demographic, but sentimentality makes me want to vomit.

The ONLY things that got me through was Vadic and my inability to stop hate-watching so I could write this.

They should have called it "We're Getting the Band Back Together".

Is there such a thing as "fan service" for 50+ people? I was a teen when TNG came out, and this just feels pandering and sentimental.

The theme music seems like it's playing in a theater to a bunch of old fucks who cheer when it gets to *that part*.

They crammed in every tired trope they could.

This is a script designed to provoke an emotional response.

The whole "parent" theme is incredibly heavy-handed. I am a parent, and I have lost a child, and I still think it's over the top.

Instant Parent: just add adult child you had no knowledge of or interest in having until you knew about.

and then it squeezes in a generational schism for about 14 seconds, only to have the Olds regain control with barely a blip.

It does the thing that I hate about most action movies: doesn't matter who or what is destroyed in the effort to save one person. The needs of the few to save the one is somehow greater than saving the many. Spock would be...ugh.

And it's only for Picard and his kid. No one else merits extreme measures. I guess Beverly gets it a bit at the beginning, but then she's

mama bear. grr. oh wait, put that up in the "tropes" category.

Why did Raffi and Seven gotta go back to Star Fleet. Boo.

Worf's a joke. I mean, he's fine, but he's a running gag.

SO FURCKING TIRED OF THAT OLD FUCKER PICARD

yes I know that's the name of the show but damn

The renaming of the Titan. Why. It did pretty damned good as Titan.

The only good parts were Vadic and to a lesser degree Shaw. And that bit about swords being fun. That was pretty good.

I mean yay, they all get a payday. But.

I don't think I've given any spoilers here, but I have to say this:

They really should have let him die at the end, it's getting kind of pathetic.

bonus spoiler bitch: and of course his kid joins Starfleet as well. Oh an on an "accelerated track". and they joke about it's not nepotism. hmm.

FFS why did I finally convince myself to watch Picard Season Three: We're Getting the Band Back Together and It Still Sucks

spoilers I guess

Could have been a great story, but the trite "oh being a parent is hard" bullshit makes me want to punch them.

A lot of us lose a child, and we don't stop and weep about it every time we're on a starship in a fucking nebula about to be sucked into a gravity well, now do we.

No. We don't. We don't have the luxury.

Also Picard can take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. He's the epitome of the rich old white man who somehow is always right, despite all.

it's just gross.

[living-dead-parker]

Grocery Store Antics - Dad!Tony

Summary: Tony takes his kids to the grocery store

Warnings: cussing, probs ooc, nebula was adopted by Tony idc idc idc, tony in a dad outfit just picture it plz, not super funny but i tried 

Part of a new collection I plan on starting called Tony Stark and his kids.

Word Count: 1.8k

"We need some hot links, hot dog buns, some chicken, drinks, and some desert," Pepper says out loud before turning to look at May who is making the list. May gives her a thumbs up, completing the shopping list. Among it includes bug spray, pool noodles, and tons of ice cream. All of it completely necessary.

The heat is returning once again, and while not super hot, it's warm enough for a barbeque and swimming in the lake. Tony insisted on grilling and making a day out of it. He has his dad outfit on; a pair of khaki cargo shorts, random SI shirt, and his dad sandals. He has on a bucket hat, of all accessories, and some sunglasses with the lanyard strap on it. Peter insisted Tony wears the ensemble, making him look like the ultimate dad. You're not sure how Peter convinced him to do it, but maybe he's finally accepting that he's becoming an old man. Either way, you're shocked because you remember being 14 and hearing your dad claim that you'd never catch him dead in a pair of cargo shorts and a bucket hat.

"Someone go with me to the store!" Tony exclaims, hearing feet running down the hall. In seconds, all the kids come tumbling in. Morgan up front, Peter next to her. You stand behind Peter and Nebula behind Morgan. Tony rubs at his temple before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Dad move!" you yell, causing Peter to giggle. Tony looks up, beginning to regret any of this. Now his children are gonna bully him? It's like the Avengers all over again.

"What store are we going to?" Peter asks, walking over to May and grabbing the list from her.

"Not sure, but let's get going while May and Pep set up. Rhodey should be here in a bit, so we should get going."

With that, you lead the way out, followed by Morgan, Nebula, then Peter. Tony walks behind everyone, closing behind him. You sit in the passenger seat of the Audi SUV, connecting your phone once the car is on. Peter sits behind you, Morgan in the middle in her car seat, and Nebula behind dad. Tony pulls out of the driveway, heading off towards the city. Taking over the music, you start by playing some RHCP, to which both you and Tony sing to.

The drive wasn't too long, but it wasn't super quick either, having to drive a good twenty minutes to reach the nearest grocery store. You played some classics, singing along as loud as you could with your father. Every once in a while, the two of you would glance over at each other, smiles as wide as rivers and oceans. Tony would take in the sight of his first born, the pride and joy he's felt overpowering anything. Getting you back was probably the biggest event in his life. You, on the other hand, seeing the old man makes you feel nostalgic. He's been through so much and you owe it all to him. He's always been so selfless with you, even if things were bumpy at times. Cheesy as it may sound, he's your soul mate and you're his soulmate.

"Alright," Tony says once the car comes to a stop in the parking lot of the grocery store. "No lollygagging, in and out. Hear me?"

"You got it, sir."

Peter runs off and grabs a cart from the parking lot collector things. He returns to you all, moving over to your side. Tony picks up Morgan and puts her in the small seat on the top basket. He turns and sees Nebula eyeing the cart, never having done it before. It's quite adorable, actually. She's been getting used to more human things. Shopping malls, movie theaters, parks, and watching TV. For now, Tony and Pepper are letting her be a kid, seeing that she didn't get much of that. They're letting her experience the good stuff in life. All the ice cream, the fun parties, and bounce houses, cool music, and television. All of it.

So Tony chuckles as he nods his head to the bigger basket. "Get in, ya big dope," he jokes. A full belly laugh comes out when Nebula gets in excitedly, squealing as she sits down in the cart. You giggles, taking a quick picture of her in the cart. Having a blue alien sister is cool, except for when it's not. The only times it's not is when you see people staring at her like some kind of monster. It tends to happen a lot in public, much like at this very moment. There's a couple staring harshly while their kids ask about the 'cool blue lady'.

"What are you looking at?" you call out, causing Tony and Peter to pause in their steps. Your group all look over at the people on the other side, meanwhile Nebula looks down shamefully. Sometimes, she refuses to go out for that reason. People tend to ruin the moment. "She's cool and helped save the world, so a thank you is in order instead of staring at her like she's a monster."

The couple turns away and walks faster, almost running away. You flip them the bird when they look over their shoulders, but ultimately they speed walk away all the way. Tony chuckles, lightly clapping your shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. They're not worth the stress," Tony says looking at you and then at Nebula.

"Let's just go inside and get what we need," you mutter softly, calming down from the moment.

Upon entering the store, things went downhill. Morgan was beginning to get antsy, so Tony put her down so she could walk. The first thing you all got was the dry food items. From there, you went to other non-perishable items or things that did not need to be refrigerated just yet. Before getting the meat and cake, you all happened to walk into the aisle with toys and pool supplies.

"Dad!" you exclaim, grabbing an already inflated whale floatie with black handles on it. "We need him!"

Tony sighs, pointing at the basket nonetheless. You giggle villainously and throw the floatie into the pool. Peter grabs a couple of pool noodles, Morgan grabbing three boxes of donut floaties, three mattress floaties. Behind Tony's back, you and Peter sneak in two boxes into the cart while Tony answers his phone. When he turns around, he has five super soakers in his hands.

"So, change of plans. Steve, Nat, Sam, and Bucky are going to be joining us for some food and a swim."

"So we ambush them with water guns?" Nebula asks. Her voice sounds almost menacing. It's awesome.

"Morgan, you take Nat. She won't attack. Peter, Y/N, Neb," Tony continues, looking at the three of you. "You take Sam and Bucky. I'll get Steve. That sound good?"

"Sounds better than good," you respond excitedly. Tony chucks the soakers into the cart, grabbing the handle and pushing it. There are still so many more things to buy, and the first cart is already running out of space. Even without Nebula in it. So Tony sends you and Peter to get a new cart.

The two of you do just that, grabbing a new cart and racing back inside. However, when he hears the distant sound of singing, he knows it's you. As the words to My Heart Will Go On fill Tony's ears, he sighs. Not a minute later, you're rounding the corner into the aisle that Tony is in, revealing Peter kneeling at the end of the cart with his arms spread as if he was in the king of the world scene in Titanic. Tony sighs, assuming his signature Tired Dad™ stance; head down, temple rub, pinching bridge of nose.

"Onward, trustee sea captain!" Peter exclaims. Tony flips the kid off, pushing the cart out of the aisle and into a new one.

"Dad," Morgan says excitedly as the group approaches the produce section. Tony turns to see his little girl with an orange in her hand. "Orange you glad I'm the normal one?"

Tony chuckles, shaking his head but approving of the joke nonetheless. However, you approach with your hands behind your back. You look at the little girl before squatting down to her level. You pull one hand forward, revealing an avocado.

"Avocadon't go there," you start. You proceed to reveal a squash in your other hand. "Before I squash you," you continue, pulling out your phone and showing your screen to reveal a google image search of baby goats. "Kid."

The beginning probably wouldn't have been funny, but Tony finds himself busting a guy at the preparedness and the commitment to the joke. How you had that ready, he'll never know, but he doesn't want to. He likes the mystery.

"Tony," Peter comes up, holding his hand out to reveal an orange in his hand. "Orange you gla-"

"Morgan beat you to it," you say, looking around a grabbing a bag off one of the nearest stands. It seemed to be all so conveniently placed. Tony's impressed. A bag of peas. "Pea-ter."

Peter is stunned into a silence. First Morgan steals his pun but now he gets punned right back. Not even by Morgan. He feels bamboozled. Peter looks around and grabs a small bag of beans just a few feet away from the group.

"I feel so bean-boozled."

"How do I do it with all of you kids?" Tony asks as he begins pushing one of the carts away.

"Should have kept your legs closed," Nebula cuts in, causing you to burst into laughter.

"She got you, dad."

"It doesn't even work like that-" Tony cuts himself off with a playful sigh. "Plus two of you aren't my creation, so," Tony mutters, not sure what to say next.

The rest of the grocery trip was spent making dumb puns, mispronouncing any and everything. It also involved bugging Tony as much as possible. There's one thing all four of you enjoy doing, and it's bugging Tony. Who doesn't enjoy bugging their dad?

"Morgan, say cupcakes are for basic bitches," you encourage the girl. Tony turns to look at you two as Peter and Nebula continue looking for some kind of desert to feed everyone. You suggested cake, but dad keeps saying no.

"Morgan if you say it I will tell mommy-"

"I'll have Peter make you a web swing!" you bargain.

Morgan nods, watching as you pull your phone out. You open your camera and begin recording.

"Daddy," Morgan begins, smirking as Tony begins shaking his head. "Cupcakes are for basic bitches,"

Suddenly, Peter and Nebula burst into laughter at the young girl's words. At that point, Tony calls it a day. They've been at the store for about an hour, things are running behind. So Tony heads to check out, pay for everything. Damn near has a heart attack at the price, despite the fact that he's a literal billionaire.

"500 dollars? How?"

He looks over the receipt and sighs when he sees what cost him almost three hundred dollars and something that cost him 70.

"A raft lounge for almost 300 and an inflatable pool seesaw for 70? Wow. Bamboozled by my own kids."

[mystictruth123456-blog]

Settling down in England Part 2: The "Revolution De Cuba"

In the previous post, I had been at a language exchange, which took place on a Thursday. It was Friday Now. After leaving my Afro fusion dance class, I met up with my Moroccan friend and a bunch of spanish people at the angel inn in Leeds, a pub with many floors and picnick tables in the back, in a alley for people to chat and get wasted. with us we had with we also had one italian guy and a Indian Guy. It was quite a lively crowd. There I found out my friend from Moracco was 44, he looked like he was 30 or maybe even 28. I hoped I would look that young and still be as easy going as him when I was in my 40's. I have been sober from alcohol for well over a year and a half now and being in a environment where everyone was drinking wasn't really a temptation to me but kinda just felt nasty. The utter desolation of drinking culture is very easy to recognize when your sober, yet everyone is just doing what their doing. In England they seem to get drunk to epic proportions and often very early . My theory it is due to the emotionally repressive, cynical, private culture. English people in general are often cold and standoffish to people they don't know and critical of those who express themselves to openly. So alcohol is a key and a excuse to break free from that repression. But like anywhere drunk people are the very similiar. Fighting, yelling curse words, or being the most friendly in the world for a night. Jonas and I left the angel Inn for the revolution of Cuba, a Cuban restaurant turn small club playing Latino Music on Fridays upstairs and usuelly American pop music downstairs. Walking down Brigitte street on our way there, it is the usuel, birds (women) dressed in almost see-through shirts, with their asses hanging out from shorts or miniskirts, lads (guys) in suits speaking with a thick yorkshire accent 'owz, et Gowen pal, ya ight'." To get into the revolution of cuba you had to wear fancy shoes like a lot of clubs in Leeds. Trainers were not allowed. I had tried before to get in the club by putting black socks over my shoes to make them look like fancy shoes, an idea I got from a Finnish girl. That last attempt had the bouncers laughing at me. I was glad this time I had the right attire, though last time was pretty funny I have to say. Once in the revolution of Cuba I quickly changed from my heavy fancy shoes into my light dancing shoes and began to do some freestyle salsa moves. It wasn't the same as my saturday nights at Casa columbiana where DJ Pipo from Cuban was on the decks. There it was very multicultural, warm, friendly and a bit smaller. There was often many south American and Spanish people at casa columbiana and at the revolution de cuba it was mostly english folks. When that reggaeton song came on it didn't feel the same with a bunch of English people, then it did with a bunch of Latinos, Spanish and other internationals. Jonas and I even saw some English girls we had met at the exchange we completly gave us the cold shoulder. This didn't stop me from trying to dance with the girls in there. It came time where I had to catch my bus and I ran up Brigitte st. To see my last 36 bus to Harrogate in all its glory 'leave.' I let out a giant "Nooo" like I was a character in some dramatic tv series. Almost in the same moment, I look to my left and see a drunk guy crying. I forget about my bus leaving and ask if he is All right. I bring him out of sight of people around the corner in this arcade with shops on either side. People may have thought I was trying to molest him while he was drunk. Whatever. He told me he was from southern England (I could tell from his accent) and that the reason he was crying was because the security guards at the club had thought he was doing drugs in the bathroom and kicked him out. He begin crying again saying "I wasnt. Though." all his coworkers were in the club and now he was alone outside. He said he was able to get home. We parted ways. I returned to the revolution of Cuba to find the spanish and internationals from the Angel inn there. I explained how my next bus was at 6am in the morning and that I would just stay up all night. So that's what I did. I begin attempting to dance with many of the English girls in there and was getting turned down so many times that I begin to think maybe I should stop. I even tried to dance with the showgirls at the door and got turned down. I wanted to go back upstairs but suddenly the showgirls who were wearing next to nothing begin dancing on the tables. It's in that moment I saw again the paradox of when you are willing to walk away, it all comes to you. It was like the spirit of revolution de cuba was seducing me to stay and it only made me dance harder. After being subjected to much desire, Jonas and I wandered upstairs danced a bit more, got a few nasty looks from people and left. I needed to get something to eat. We stopped at a kebab spot. I was short 20 p for my food. This wonderful english gentleman without asking helped me out and even bought me a extra veggie wrap and offered us a taxi. I saw it as karma for helping out the drunk crying lad earlier. I hung outside casa columbiana, eating my pizza, while Jonas went to withdraw money from an atm. It was Kazumba night at casa columbiana and out came a lot of black people speaking Portuguese. That through me off a bit. I have began to learn the world has become a lot more multi -cultural and not to assume based on someone's ethnicity that a black, Asian, white, Latino person etc.. is probably from a black, Asian, white or Latino country. I have met english Asians, Pakistani heritage but british nationality cab drivers from Bradford (very Pakistani and middle eastern city, basically connected to Leeds) who sound like they are from Pakistan but we're born and lived in yorkshire their whole life. (very Pakistani and middle eastern city, basically connected to Leeds.) I even met a white lady who worked at one of the Laundromats in Leeds from Zimbabwe. Assumptions make the world less interesting and the world is full of surprises. I asked one of the ladies and she said she was from Portugal but the rest could have been from a Portuguese speaking country like Angola, or Brazil or learned Portuguese along the way. Who knows. After finishing my pizza I had Jonas look up buses to Harrogate, it said the next one was soon near the Leeds bus station, so I ran down there to be a bit disappointed because no bus showed up. While asking people if they could look up when the next Harrogate bus was, I met a guy from Eritrea, a small African country next to Ethiopia, where they speak Arabic and their mother tongue is Tingrinya. He needed a taxi and his English was not the best so I tried my best to help him out. After many attempts I found him a taxi and went on my way. I had until six in the morning to kill time. So I set off back to city centre. Drunk people littered the streets. It was about 4am at this point. Some clubs not finishing until 6am. It looked like the aftermath of a battle. Slumped drunk folks on benches and friends hauling their mates between them, who had become too intoxicated to walk. I wanted nothing to do with it, I was starting to hate people. I don't like hating people. Love feels better. I I was walking on the upper part of Brigitte street, near casa columbiana and I found a pair of fancy at least £30 shoes. These taxi drivers said these guys were fighting and left them behind and weren't coming back for them. The shoes fit so I took them. Yet it didn't feel right, I already had a pair of fancy shoes so I put them back and the taxi driver said he would take them. I saw it was karma for helping the dude out from Eritrea out earlier with the taxis. There was the second clear example of karma for me that night. I felt blessed. I besides all that, I had to get out of the madness so I took a walk to Kirstall road, that Leads near to where I use to live in Burley. I ended up just napping behind a bush, thinking to myself I'm too old to be missing my bus like this. I also thought about How I'm good. I've been on many adventures, faced many challenges in life and I'm still ok. I got to Burley Park and stopped off in the little wooded area in the park there. I just chilled in there for a bit. I saw a bunch of foxes on the field outside of the trees. After chilling for a bit I decided to keep walking. I walked past my old house, a small party going on next door, this time it didn't bother me this time. Nobody was at home at my old casa. I kept walking through headingley, the more student area of town. It was an assortment of red brick, a bit run down houses that all looked the same, with quite a bit of trash on the ground from the students. Even 6am in the morning there was students hanging around. It is a very lively place. What I didn't like was a seeming army of students coming out of a party yelling at the top of their lungs like everybody in the neighborhood wanted to hear that. All I can say is alcohol is a terrible drug. I got back to the bustop for Harrogate at 9am in the morning. It seemed like a lot of people were taking the bus to work in Harrogate. It was lights out. I was really hating leeds and everyone at this point. There was a lady singing a song off key on her headphones and pigeons flying around. The whole bus ride back, I was pissed off at people. When I got off the bus nothing had changed. I saw a dude wearing spandex pants that made him look like he was from outer space, with stars and nebulas on them. Because I hadn't slept all night he sounded American. I was also thinking "who else would wear pants like that in Harrogate?" I asked him if he was american and he said "no, I'm not" almost with disdain, his italian looking friend began cracking up. Upon arriving in my apartment I continued thinking about how people have mixed opinion about America. I had met people who wished they were from America, people who were neutral and like one english girl who when I told her I was American said "that's shit" and walked away, yet most people were very intrigued I was from there. There was one funny case where I was in a bar called Brotherhood in Leeds on a Saturday night with the Italian dude and some of the others that I had met at the angel Inn, where we came across a Saudi Arabian guy with a very strong opinion about America. He was friends with some other people in the group and as I came around the corner he was yelling "fuck America, fuck America" I thought it was more funny then anything. The Italian dude with me just kept cracking up and said "I have to tell him, I have to tell him" I begged him no. He asked the Saudi guy to guess where I was from. The dude couldn't place me, from South America to Canada and back down to South America again. Finally we helped him realize it was America. All he said was something like. "You guys are cool" and he patted his fist to his chest as a sign of respect. I told him I heard him say what he said about America and he said honestly that America helped ruin the middle east with England, that his people were dying so it was his duty to talk about these things. I had respect for that and agreed the American government in general was a giant pain in the ass. Another drunk english guy in our group said he loved America and would fight for America. It seems America is a perfect example of duality. So anyway after thinking about this and making a short video about how girls wear too much makeup in england, I went to sleep. What a day.