#just more being frustrated with credit stuff lol

[astarionposting]

Can someone tell me if this is a feature of tiktok or something… 🥹🥹

I would like to know why a watermark is being put over my screenshots by people who don’t take them? Is it a tiktok feature that is done automatically? It is just frustrating because it’s being incorrectly credited now… I don’t use tiktok often and only installed because I saw people posting my screenshots and wanted to ask for credits. What is happening!!! I have also seen people cropping out my watermarks and posting with no credit. So I may have to make it so my watermark is not easy to crop out… 🥹🥹🥹

I am fine with my stuff being reposted for tiktok, it is just nice if you credit! Because I see people in the comments asking to download the photos but can’t! Like let them come here to enjoy :(

Edit: so now I know it is unintentional! It is a tiktok feature itself. Oh well!! That is the internet lol

[alicesivory]

The Moon Song

Inspired by the movie ‘her’ 2013 - directed by Spike Jonze 

Pairing: Billy Washington x female! Reader

Warning: smut, angst, and teeth rotting fluff (mdni), and not proof-read lol. 

WC: 7005 

Disclaimer: I am not comfortable using [y/n] but I won’t be using any OC since it’s still an x reader fic. But I’ll slip a nickname or two in some stories ;) Oh and I took some words and sentences from my favourite scene from the movie and the iconic monologue at the end but I revised it so it would fit into the story but all credits goes to Spike Jonze. Enjoy!

“War? You don’t got a clue- what do you know about war?! War against halal butchers? You don’t know anythin-.”

Billy nodded as tears started to build up in his eyes. Of course he knew nothing. It's as if anyone gave him a chance to know something. It’s meaningless at some point, he meant his life and all this bullshit about all of this charade. Just when he felt like a somebody, of course his sister had to crumble it all down.

Or just trying to make him snap out of it from this dreamlike state he’s in as his inner self tries to justify his actions. 

He didn’t mean to be like this in the first place or mingle with those thugs. 

He never did. 

“-grow up, Billy!”

He nodded once more as a tear dropped from his eye. 

“You done?”

“Yes, I am.”

Billy kept an eye on his sister as she stomped away from his room, and finally from his apartment. 

Slamming the door. 

Humiliation weighed over his shoulders as he hung his head low, running his fingers through his sandy blonde hair with frustration. It wasn’t supposed to end up this way. Not the way he wanted it to. Taking a deep sigh, he lets go of all of his tears letting them roll down from his cheeks. Sniffling and crying alone in his dark room. But just as wanted to just curl up in bed and cry ‘till exhaustion, he heard a knock from his apartment door. 

Wiping away his tears and snot, he stood up bravely and walked towards the door. It’s probably his sister, wanting to yell or lecture him about…literally anything, really. Nothing’s good enough for her or their parents. He sighs and opens the door with no hesitation without checking who it was. 

“Coming back for mo-.”

Oh, it wasn’t his sister. 

Her name rolled off his tongue easily like he was dying to say her name for months. She looked at him curiously as she stood there with an awkward thin smile. “I bumped into Lana and…she looks pretty pissed. Did I come at the wrong time?” she asked, pointing towards the apartment hallway. He quickly shook his head.

“N-no! Not at all. We just had an argument- you know how it is.” 

It has been…8 months and 2 weeks since he broke up with her (yes he has been counting) and 2 months since he last saw her. Their breakup was hard for him and sometimes Billy believed that their breakup was the one that caused his downward spiral. He had known her since they were in university, she was his friend before he slowly developed feelings for her. His train of thoughts were snapped away by her gasp. “What happened to your hand?”

He quickly hides it away behind his back.

“N-nothing! By the way, What’re you doing here?” He asked, not wanting to tell her the truth. What will she think of him? He can’t just dump his troubles into her. 

“I know this is silly, but I forgot to take some of my stuff,” she sighed in defeat, clearly letting him brush away the topic of his hand. Billy knew what she left and he didn’t even bother to tell her since he..well..just wanted her to maybe stop by or just kind of let it stay in his apartment to remember something of her. A piece of her, some sort.

“Yeah? What did you left?” He asked, acting dumb. 

“Some books and my brown watch. Have you seen them?”

“No, not at all. Come in.”

Three years ago. 

Laughter filled the apartment floor as his pale cream couch was being moved from the first floor to the third floor. He was at the bottom end while his sweetheart was trying to pull the couch up. “It’s getting heavy, love!” He teased as he tried so hard not to laugh seeing them fail over and over again to move their couch up to their apartment. 

What’s now his apartment, used to be their apartment. 

“Hold on! Oh dear Lord-,” she cackled as she took a step back up the stairs, lifting up the other edge of the couch. 

“Alright, now push!” She ordered as they finally succeeded to drag and carry the couch unison. It took them a while to finally make the couch fit through the doorway, but they managed. Back then, their apartment was still empty. No mess or dirty clothes scattering around the floor. It still smelled like paint. “Phew!” She said before crashing onto the couch. Billy follows along, putting his arm around her, letting her lean onto him. 

“Tired, sweetheart?” He teased.

“Terribly.” 

“Gosh I think the last time you were this tired was two nights ago when I fuc-,”

“Ew, no ew stop-,” she says with a giggle trying to get away from him but he won’t budge.

“And you told me to keep going! ‘Ah harder Billy! Harde-,”

“You are so disgusting!” She exclaimed as she covered his mouth with her palm, but he kept teasing her with his stupid dirty jokes. “Really? The last time you told me that was when I gave you backs-,”

“You are so infuriating!”

The only thing to make him shut up was tickles and her plan worked. When her fingers started to wiggle on his stomach, he burst out laughing like a mad man. “Stop! Stop!” He begged her. After one last tickle, she pulled away with a satisfied grin. “You’ll be the death of me, woman.” Billy placed his arm back around her shoulders and gave her a sweet peck on her lips. “I shall be,” she replied cockily, booping his nose. He smiled at her as he admired her features that he loved more than anything. 

He didn’t know he was able to love someone this much. 

“Can’t believe we have this place to ourselves,” he said softly to her, brushing a hair away from her face. She smiled back, “Can’t believe I’m doing this with you.” They both shared a sweet kiss where no one could disturb them or interrupt them. Ever.

“I uh…I applied for the military,” he informed her as they pulled away from their kiss. “Yeah? That’s amazing..,” she said supportively, brushing his hair with her gentle fingers. “Yeah..I wanted to try, y’know? Seeing Lana on field…I  want to be like her y’know? Brave…tough…,” he listed. 

“But you are.”

Her words made him scoff. 

“You’re only saying that ‘cause I’m your boyfriend. It’s biassed.”

“It’s still an opinion,” she said gently, still brushing his hair. Seeking her comfort, he leaned his head on her shoulder. “You think I can do this?” He asked with a hint of insecurity in his voice. “Of course you can,” she reassured him, giving him a gentle kiss on his head. 

Present day

They ramage through his apartment trying to collect all of her stuff. Piece by piece they collect the stuff she left in his apartment. “Alright we have the books…wuthering heights, pride and prejudice, little women, yada yada yada, and all I need is my brown watch. And it’s nowhere to be found- you sure you haven’t seen it anywhere?” She walked towards his gaming chair and sat on the pillowed chair while he sat on the cream coloured couch. 

Normally, he won’t let anyone sit there. Even Becky, or Lana. She was the only one he trusted to touch his possessions. He smiles as he listens to her babbling and talking. He hates to admit it, but he missed it. 

“Nope, not at all,” he lied. 

Sighing in defeat, she starts rocking the chair as she looks around the room they’re in. “How you’ve been, by the way?” Billy shrugs at her question, acting all casual even if his life was basically crumbling down. No job, shitty friends, commit a minor crime, his sister, parents, even current girlfriend hates him. “Just fine, really.” 

His answer made her smirk. “Well your hand says otherwise,” she says. Her witty answer made him chuckle. “What can I say? I’m a busy man.” He always liked how easy it is to talk to her. “What about you? You doin’ alright?” He asks, his tone gentle and eager to know if she’s been alright. 

“Well, yeah I’m alright. Ups and downs here and there, y’know?”

“Compared to me, you look like you’re doing amazing,” he compliments her, leaning in to take a good look at her even if they’re a little bit away from each other.

His compliment made her chuckle. 

It always does. 

“Thanks..,” she replies, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“I’m serious though..you look amazing.” His tone genuine and full of meaning into it. 

She looked at him for a moment, trying to read him before nodding. 

“Well you look like you need a haircut and a shave.”

Her comment made him laugh. Genuinely laugh. It’s been awhile since he felt that much comfort in him. 

After a while, their laughter died down and a comfortable silence swept the room. “You seeing anyone?” she asked. He nodded, “Yeah, but it’s a bunch of crap. Her name’s Rebecca and I haven’t heard from her since last week.” She gave him a thin smile, both of them knowing that they don’t want to discuss that topic further. “And you?” 

“Been on a date or two but none of them worked out,” she shrugs. He nodded again, a little bit glad to hear that. “You happy with your new book?”

“You’ve read it?” She asks with a chuckle. “Well, I saw it in a book store last week and it looks pretty cool, I might have to buy a copy after this,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I mean sure I like how it is,” she says. But he saw how she pursues her lips with a pregnant pause coming from her. “But I feel like it’s true to what I set out to do. So I’m happy with that.”

“I swear, You’re your own worst critic, I’m sure it’s amazing. Even that paper you wrote on synaptic behavioral routines made me cry.” 

“Yeah, but everything makes you cry.”

“Everything you make makes me cry.”

A sense of familiarity washes between them. How easy it was to just talk like normal people would. Alice looked into his eyes for a moment before darting away and spots his injured knuckles once more. 

“No but seriously though, what happened?” She asks, pointing at his hand hesitantly. He looked down and felt heat coming up to his cheeks.

“I uh…it was an accident.” “What accident?”

“An accident that involved me and some glass shards.”

“How the hell did that happen?”

Why is she asking me all this shit?

“You don’t want to know.”

“I would love to know, actually.”

He looked at her for a while to sense any sort of hesitation in her words but the only thing he could find in her eyes was determination. It intimidates him. She could scoop anything from the bottom pits of his heart. 

“For fuck’s sake, Ismashedawindowatabutchersh-“

“What?!” 

“It was a fucking protest-“

“—What protest, Billy?! All I see is that you’re now doing property damage-,”

“—Am not!—”

“—Then what was that for? Why on earth would you smash a butcher shop’s window?!” 

Billy was silent.

Why did he do it?

“I..”

Did he actually believe all that bullshit? Or was he just tagging along with his buddies? To be…accepted?

“Everything I do is never enough for you, is it?”

His words created this thick tension in the room. Her brows crinkled as she took his word as an offense. “Why would you say that?” She asks, her voice cracking. “Because it’s the truth-.”

“No it isn’t,” she said, stern and true. “I always felt like you wished I could just be a happy, light. ‘everything’s great’, bouncy girlfriend who always puts a smile whenever you come home either happy or angry and I’m sorry but I can’t do that, I still have feelings too-.”

Billy winces at her words and shakes his head, “No I didn’t want that.”

“You avoid me and shut me out whenever I point out something wrong about you, or us- even when we argue you never wanted to listen!—“

“—No I don’t!—”

“—It’s like as if you can’t handle real emotions, Billy—,”

“—They are real emotions, how do you—,”

“—What? Say it! Am I really that scary, Billy? Say it- How do I know what?!” 

Silence hung in the air once more. They were both seeing red and they…she...he…realized how this argument was going nowhere. Billy saw how her gaze shifted, how her brow relaxed and her eyes slowly softening. Her once angry demeanour changed into what is now left with regret and embarrassment. Rubbing her arm, avoiding his gaze. God, did he really messed up this bad?

“I was gonna marry you, y’know?” 

He didn’t even realize that he said those words out loud, avoiding her gaze as his head hangs low once more. Not realizing how her eyes softened, looking at the man that she once loved and believed was the love of her life. Maybe he is still the one she loves- but he sees that as wishful thinking. 

“I’m sorry that came out of nowhere-,”

“—Billy, It’s okay-,”

“—But I mean it though, I…really want to marry you. Back then, after I’m finally in the military or something- but turns out none of that shit worked out, so…,” he says running his hands through his hair once again. His sentence hung in the air as he shut his mouth from talking any further. 

Billy’s birthday, last year. 

“You’re so infuriating..,” she giggled lowly as she laid on his bed, in his arms, tangled in bedsheets as the moon shone bright from the window. “Me? Infuriating? Is that a proper way to say to your birthday boy tonight?” Billy teasingly replied, leaning his head to hers letting his forehead rest on hers. 

She giggles again shifting her whole body close to him as she clutches the blankets close to her chest to keep her warm. “Jeez sorry, it’s not my fault that you keep giving bad activity ideas for your birthday. Like, seriously? Skydiving? You know I hate heights, you arse!” She slaps his chest, earning a cackle from him. “It was just a suggestion, love that’s all…,” Billy grunts as he cuddles her tightly. 

“Ugh you’re squishing me..,” she complained.

“Stop whining..,” he replied, giving her a sweet kiss on the neck. “It’s still my birthday tonight, I can hug you as tight as I can..,” he murmured sleepily. Alice chuckles and slightly shifts, facing up to him. “No but seriously though, what do you want to do tomorrow?” she seriously asked. 

“I don’t know, really…probably taking you out and the lads up for a few pints. Just the usual, love,” he said, rubbing her arm. “Just wanna spend some time with the people I love.” Giving her a sweet peck on the lips.

“Yeah? You gon’ give your mum and da a visit then?”

Billy groaned as he nuzzled his face on the crook of her neck. “Knew you’d say that.”

“Oh c’mon, love…it’s been a half a year since you saw them. One visit won’t hurt…,” she said gently, running her fingers through his hair. “Yeah one visit will end up my da making fun of me and seeing my mum’s disappointment up close,” Billy sarcastically chuckled. “I won’t let them,” she whispered closely to his ear. 

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Her response earned her a smile out of him. “What’d I do without you, sweetheart?” He asked sultry before he started to kiss her jaw…down to her neck as his big hands snaked her waist, holding her gently. “I think you’d do just fine,” she answered with a sensual sigh. Billy smiled, nuzzling her cheek with his nose before capturing her lips with his. 

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him back with a low hum, their bodies moving in perfect harmony as they explored each other's mouths. Billy took his time as he slipped his boxers down and placed them somewhere in the bed. “Mm…y’know I love you right?” He asked in between kisses as he pinned her down to bed, hovering over her. “I know,” she said. His kisses trailed down from her lips, her jaw, her neck, down to her chest. Gently squeezing and caressing one of her breast while his mouth nipped and sucked the other carefully. He’d then squeeze one to make her nipples perk so he could kiss it and suck it better, leaving wet trails down to her tummy and finally finding his treasure.

Gently spreading her legs, he could see that her white cotton panties had already left a dark wet patch on it. A smile tugging at his lips and he gently nuzzled his nose on her clothed sex. “Already all wet for me, babe?” He asked, placing a sweet kiss onto it before pulling down her panties in one swift motion as if he’d done this a thousand times already.

“C’mon…where’s my sweet darling..ah there she is…,” he muttered to himself. Without a warning he kitten licked her whole sex making her gasp in pleasure. Smirking smugly up at her, he continued to tease and lick her pussy before managing to eat her out properly. Hungrily munching on her like a starved man. He rubbed her clit gently in a circle motion as he stretched her hole with his tongue, fucking her with it. 

This motion made her squirm and gasp, her brows crinkling feeling the intense pleasure that she couldn’t get enough of even if he’d done this to her more than she could count. “M gonna put a finger in, yeah?” His voice said in a reassuring and gentle tone. She nodded with no hesitation and just as she knew it, she felt his finger slipping into her. One finger then became two fingers, slipping in and out of her dripping hole as he licked her clit making her cry in pleasure. 

He took his time to help her find pleasure. He could die between her legs and he’d be happy. He groaned in delight as he licked all of her juices when his fingers pulled out of her weeping hole. He couldn’t get enough of her as he licked off her juices before he had to pull away and looked up to her. 

“W-wha- why did you stopped?” she asked. He hovers over her once more, “Need you inside of me.” Needily nuzzling his nose to her neck, sucking onto her. He then felt his body shift as now he has is back on the bed as she sits on top of him like a queen on her throne. Straddling him, he could see all of her. Caressing her sides, he saw how she looks down and groped the base of his shaft, giving it a few strokes. 

“You okay with this?” She asked.

“Mmhm…y-yeah- fuck yeah,” he couldn’t even speak properly, blinded with pleasure.

Then he felt her lining up their sexes, his cock leaking with pre-cum as she teasingly rubs the outside lining of her pussy with it. “Don’t tease-fuck!” Before he could even finish his sentence, she slips his cock in making both of them gasp in unison. “F-fuck, Billy…,” she moaned, adjusting to him. She loved how he felt inside her. Not too overwhelmingly big or small, to her it’s the right size and girth. 

“You’re made for me,” he grunted as he needily thrust up begging for any movement or friction. Billy saw how she looked at him, eyes full of lust and love as she started to move up and down and rocking him as they adjust to their pleasure.

“Billy?” she called out to him as she thrust into him, her body full of sweat. “Y-yeah?” Holding her hips with his big calloused hands. “Wake up.”

“W-what?”

“I said wake up.”

Present day, Billy’s birthday. 

The sun started to rise, but only tiny streaks of sun rays managed to peek through the blinds. Billy opened his eyes, finding his room empty, finding his bed empty. 

Fuck, he just had another wet dream of her.

He looked down, finding a dark wet spot on his pants. Of course he did. His phone kept buzzing beside his bed, probably some ‘happy birthday’ notifications from his mum, dad, and sister. Becky didn’t even bother to send him a ‘i’m leaving you’ text. Ghosted and gave up on him. 

Like the others do. 

He sighs, getting up from bed and throws a shirt on himself and changes his shorts before finally picking up his phone. Then he saw it. A notification with her name on it. It’s been months since he last saw a notification from her. What is she going to say? Should he open it now? Maybe later- oh fuck it!

Hi Billy how you’ve been? I just want to say happy birthday here and hope you have a great birthday this year🎂 Sorry for the other day, I really didn’t mean a lot of those things, just wanted to see how you’ve been.

I know it’s been 10 months since we broke up and I know you probably don’t want me in your life again but I really just want to say that I wish you nothing but the best things in life. We’ve gone through a long way, we grew up together and all that shit and I just can’t act as if you don’t exist in my life. You always do in some way and I hope that’s okay. 

Have a great birthday Bil.

That text was the last straw for him. He looked around his no-good apartment, in the back of his mind he remembered everything he’d shared with her in every corner of this apartment. It drives him insane how he can’t have that now. But God he’d take it all back and do better for her. Reading her text, knowing how much of a shitty person he is, and she could’ve ghosted him and never talk to him ever again yet she decided to acknowledge him as a person. Not wanting to cut him out of her life, even he himself wouldn’t do the same thing if he was her. It drove him off. 

He hates the way he projects himself. But it is how he is.He hates everything in his life. It’s insufferable and suffocating in his own flat. He didn’t ask to live like this, but he knew the only person he could blame was him. 

Not his family, 

Not his friends, 

And definitely not her. 

He couldn’t stay in his place any longer but as he was about to just grab his stuff and leave the place, there was a heavy knocking on his apartment door.

-

Life went on for a while that summer. He jogged to his car and placed his phone on the phone holder. He opens his phone, checking if he has any texts to answer before he starts driving. He sighs as he spots her name again when he opens his messaging app. He has read her text but he hasn’t replied to her. Opening her chatbox, he realized that there were also a few things he’d like to say to her. Tapping his heel and his leg bouncing anxiously, he contemplates whether or not he should reply to her or leave it be. 

“Fuck it,” he muttered. 

Pressing down the voice message icon, he starts to speak,

“Hey uh…hey love, thanks for the uhm message, I appreciated it r- fuck why do I sound so nervous?” Billy presses the stop button and deletes it. He clears his throat, “Hey uh, I got the birthday message, I really appreciated it, ta. I’ve been doing better…thanks for asking.” He said as he starts to drive his car. 

“Listen, I…I’ve been sittin’ and thinkin’ about all the things I wanted to apologize to you. All the shit and…pain we caused each other and everything I put on you, like how you think I needed you to be or needed you to say, and I’m sorry for that..really. I think I’m just doin’ that because I want to be better for you,  even until now.  And you know what, you helped make the best versions of me. We grew up together and there’ll be a piece of you in me too, always. Whatever we are in the future, and wherever you are in the world I just want you to know that I’ll always look for you and…I…,” he paused. 

I love you and I’ve never stopped loving you. 

“...I hope you have a great day too. Bye.”

Taking all of his courage, he presses the send button. 

Letting out a big sigh, he leans back onto his seat and tries to drive peacefully. 

Maybe a gum will help him calm down. 

A year ago. 

Billy remembered it like it was yesterday. It was late at night and Billy was watching something off the old Telly. He had a terrible day. After he failed to get into the military, he tried applying for high end jobs but it didn’t work out. Did another interview today and he just knew he’s gonna flunk it. The next thing he knows he’ll get an email saying that they’re sorry and all that bullshit. He sighed, leaning his head back on the couch. 

“Billy?” She called out from the doorway. 

“Hm?”

“How was the interview?” 

“Horrible,” he grunted. 

“You don’t know that-,”

“-They laughed at me,” he snapped his head towards her to the point it sets her off. “I-I didn’t kno-,” “Of course you don’t.” He cuts her off once again before getting up from his couch, brushing her off as he passed through her. “Fine,” she muttered and went to the bedroom. “Can you just be supportive for once?” Billy snapped again as he threw his beer bottle to the trash bin. “Just for once, be supportive of me?” He emphasized, with a hint of sarcasm, bitterness and frustration. “Supportive? Isn’t that what I’ve been doing all these years, Billy?” She replied, taking his words to an offence. 

“Oh really? Well I don’t think you’ve been supporting me, more like nagging at everything I do!”

“Criticising isn’t nagging, Billy!” 

“You call that criticising? Critics are supposed to help me be better not bringing me down!”

“I wasn’t bringing you down, Billy! I was just saying the truth! Your CV was weak you didn’t put your best qualities that should’ve been the key point-,”

“--Just stop! Stop it, you’re such a know it all, aren’t you?--”

“--Me? Ha! I’m not the one who can’t accept criticism! Who can’t accept real emotions–”

“--Oh fuck you! Atleast I’m not the one who got rejected by 10 publishers just because the book you’re writing is complete rubbish!”

Her eyes widened. As much as they like to argue, Billy will never dare to say anything about her work- most of all, her book. Billy’s rage died down as he realized what he just said. He crossed the line. He fucked up. He saw how her lips slightly trembled as she wanted to speak. 

She nodded as tears built up in her eyes. “So that’s how it’s gonna be?-”

“--No, fuck- babe I didn’t mean that I’m sorry–,”

“--No, it’s fine–,”

He gently walked towards her and tried to keep her from going away from him. Trapping her in a gentle embrace. “--No, it’s not fine…I’m sorry..I didn’t mean any of that…I messed up I’m sorry,” he apologized over and over again. Placing gentle kisses onto her head. His heart sank when he heard her sniffles. Gently stroking her hair, he murmured his apology to her showering her with kisses to make it all better. “Why are we like this?” She asked in a small tone. “Like what?”

“We keep hurting each other.”

Billy’s thoughts were suddenly snapped when a notification enters his phone 

Lana: Mate, I’m with Becky. She came to mine looking for you. Call me NOW. 

Becky? Why did she came to Lana looking for him?

That doesn’t makes any sense. 

Billy brushed it off and probably thought that Becky’s there to call him off or take her stuff from his flat or something. So he clicks on Lana’s contact number and dials her after constantly ignoring her. 

“Billy!”

“Can you put Becky on?” “Where are ya? Ya sound like you’re drivin’,”

“Yeah was drivin’ to meet my mates, why? Let me speak to Becky.”

“What mates? Anyone I know?”

“Just mates, Lana.” Billy says as he takes a turn on the road. “Why, what’s going off?”

“Listen, Billy I’m not with Becky- I just needed you to call me.” Billy furrowed his brows as he listened to his sister speak on the phone. 

“What?- What do you mean you’re not with Becky?- What do you mean- what- why?”

“I need to talk to ya. You’ve not been answering my calls. You’ve not been about-wh-where are you driving to?

Suddenly his car bumped into some people who were doing some protests. Flipping him off for bumping into them. “Billy? Billy- Where exactly are you?” Lana asks again. Billy flips a protestor on his side bumping into his car. “Farringdon Tube Station,” he answered Lana, annoyed. 

“Listen, Billy, it’s important, what are you doing at Farringdon Station?”

“I was meant to meet the lads but they’re not here. Outside the tube he said, but I can’t see them. Just a load of lefty wankers.”

“Billy, why did you drive, was that your idea?”

“Nah, my mates asked me to give some of the lads a lift down. Must be some kind of joke.” 

Billy looked around not finding any signs of those so called lads. Shit, he got set up. A joke, like people would see him as. Fuck. 

“Yeah they’ve set me up, haven’t they? Havin’ a laugh, aren’t they? Knobheads,” he says with a disappointed demeanor that even Lana could detect. 

“Billy, these new mates of yours, they’re not who you think they are.”

“Lana, what you on about?”

“Nick. Nick Roberts, he’s a…he’s a terrorist. One of the Crusaders that killed Nut.”

In a flash, he finds himself in the middle of Cranstead Fields with a fucking bomb inside of his car. He could hear his heart beating rapidly, his ears ringing as it mutes everyone and everything around him. From many different scenarios in his head, Billy didn’t think he’d die like this. Trapped in a car in the middle of Cranstead Fields with a ticking bomb that’s about to go off at any minute by now. His breath ragged and unstable as he kept an eye on the timer. Swallowing a lump on his throat, he looked up to his rearview mirror. “Oh no..,” he pants to himself. Scared to death, really. He wondered if he’s ever going to survive this. Maybe he should’ve chosen better shit in his life and maybe he won’t get blown off by a fucking bomb latched onto those terrorists. If only he chose better friends, listened to his sister, he’d be at home patching things up. If he was any good maybe he’d be watching some old telly show with her. 

Fuck, he didn’t even said goodbye. 

He hasn't told his mum and dad how sorry he was for being a mop, and for everything he did. 

“Billy! I’m here! Alright it’s gonna be fine! Just stay really still for me, I'm gonna have a look around the car.”,“Yeah you gotta do something about this,” he pants, glancing at the timer that’s still ticking. “About three minutes, yeah?” Three minutes and twenty five seconds. Twenty four, twenty three..shit! He hasn't read her new book. Lana tried to take a look at the bomb as well through the window with a worried and nervous expression. But when Billy faced her again, she tried to put on a brave face for her brother. “Okay stay still, I’m gonna go have a look- Don’t touch anything, I’m just gonna check the car okay?”

“Y-yeah, yeah…just-just hurry!”

11 months ago.

Billy leaned onto the hood of his car as the night breeze swept through him. One hand on his jacket pocket, and the other holding a fag as he took a drag out of it letting out a puff of smoke into the air. Looking down at his phone, he saw that it’s 7:00 pm sharp. She should be home from work by now. He sighs, flicking the cigarette down to the ground before stubbing it as he walks to the building. After going through security, he saw his sweetheart talking to the receptionist at the lobby as she had her bag on her shoulder. After finishing her chat with the receptionist she turned around and spotted him immediately. A smile plastered on her face. 

“Heya Billy…,” she greeted with a smile, hugging him with her arms around his neck. He kisses her cheek and neck intimately. “Hiya, love.” As they pull away from the hug, he has his arm around her waist leading her out of the building. “How’s work?” He asked as they walked towards his car together. “Same old, same old,” she shrugged. 

“And…how’s your book going?” His question made her giggle and grins in excitement. “I just got an email that..they’re actually going to publish my book!” She cheers. “Told ya they’d love it,” he said to her smugly, giving her a kiss on the head. “I was so scared and nervous though…but I guess I just needed to take a deep breath with it all,” she said, opening the passenger door. “Yeah, you actually do need to do that,” he said with a pregnant pause. He kept his eye on her as she fastened her seatbelt. 

“Hey, babe?”

“Hm?”

He gently strokes her hair. “Look, I just wanted to say sorry about that night. I was a big dick to you that night, didn’t know what came over me…,” he said carefully to her. “It’s fine–,”

“Don’t say that it’s fine, bub. It’s not. It was stupid and fucked up for me to say about your book. Those 10 publishers who rejected your book were also stupid. I think everything you write is amazing. Can’t wait for the next one.” He kissed the back of her hand, his eyes not leaving hers for a second. “You forgive me?” He asked. Billy saw a smile creeping on her face, “I’ll forgive you. If you promise you’d buy a copy of my book everytime I release one.” 

“Easy, I’d buy Five.”

“Five, huh? I’ll keep your promise, Washington.”

He chuckled, giving a kiss on her temple. 

“Promise, love.”

Present day, Cranstead Fields. 

What felt like an eternity of Lana checking the bloody car, he gripped his steering wheel while glancing at the timer once more. Two minutes and fifty three seconds. Fifty two…fifty one…his heartbeat was banging like a drum inside of his chest. Breathing in, breathing out. Lana looked at the timer and the bomb through the passenger seat’s window, trying to find a solution and just..anything! To turn that stupid bomb off. But her expression wasn’t that convincing. It scared him. 

“How bad is it?” He had to ask Lana. 

Lana could only look back at him with a nervous smile. “It’s fine,” she lied. 

“I can tell when you’re lying, man! So how bad is it?!” He asked again. 

He kept screaming his sister’s name as she went away for awhile- but she can’t just  leave him, he needed his sister. Screaming out Lana’s name like a mad man, his face gone red as he cried inside his car. He does not want to die. He swore it felt like hours inside that stupid car. From the rearview mirror he saw Lana running back to him. “Billy! Listen to me! LISTEN TO ME! LOOK AT ME, YEAH? The timer means nothing! They put it there as a trick so you’ll open the door–,”

“--please–,”

“--Can you hear me?!”

“...please,” he begged again.

“Don’t touch it! Stay still! It’s gonna be fine.”

“Oh fuck,” His head hangs low as he realized that there’s no way out of this situation. 

“Listen to me, I’m your sister, okay?!”

She’s his sister.

“You need to trust me, I’m gonna go and get some stuff–,”

“--Lana please, don’t go–,”

“--You gotta trust me! It’s gonna be fine.”

He swallowed a lump in his throat as he nodded. Okay. It’s gonna be fine. It is. It is. 

He resisted the temptation and fear of opening the door. But when the timer ran out, it freaked him out. But everything was silent, no explosion or anything going off. There he realized that Lana was right. It was a trick. Okay- fuck. He has to stay focused right now. Watching from the rearview mirror once more, he saw Lana’s team hurriedly bringing their tools. 

“Alright Billy, we’re gonna just take off the rear window so you could crawl out, yeah? Stay. Still,” Lana reminded him calmly. She takes a glance at the bomb once more, giving him a thin reassuring smile. “See? It’s gonna be fine. Don’t touch anything.” Billy nodded at her words even if he was internally screaming. Slowly, he saw how her team plucked out his rear window. “Okay Billy, just slowly crawl right out. We got you,” Hass says, reaching out his arms to pull Billy out. Billy nodded and carefully crawled from the front seat, avoiding the shift gear or anything really! Not wanting to trigger the bomb. As he reached the backseat, the timer of the bomb went on again. 

“Shit!” Billy screamed, hastily scrambling out of the car. He lets his sister and Hass pull him out taking his arms. “Get me out of here!” He screamed as they all grunted, pulling him out of the car. Billy landed on the ground with a thud and the team ran from the car as the timer counted down from five.

“Fuck, ma ankle!” Billy winced as he rubbed his ankle that got twisted after he got out from the car to the ground. 

Four…

“Billy!” Lana screamed from afar. 

Three…

“Shit shit shit shit.”

Two…

Billy tried to walk as fast as he could, away from the car. 

One. 

-

Billy didn’t explode in the car, but his ankle got twisted and his leg was burned from the sparks of the explosion. Laying down on the hospital bed after consulting with medical staff in the ER, Lana accompanied him throughout the day. Not leaving his side. Even his parents came to check up on him. His mum was crying, thinking that he died or something. It made his heart warm by the fact that he had a second chance with his family. His dad hugged him for the first time in years which was also surprising. But, he liked that surprise. 

“Miss, you’re not supposed to go in there-,” he heard one of the nurses said from outside. What kind of commotion is happeni-.

And there she was. 

Panting like as if she was just running a marathon, she stood there by the ER doorway. Then she saw him. “Billy!” she sighs in relief before instantly running to him. Billy couldn’t believe it as they both embraced each other. She hugs his head close to her chest, her heart beating rapidly. 

“H-how did you-,”

“--Lana called me,” she says with a relieved smile, running her delicate fingers through his hair. Billy turns to look at Lana and saw Lana sipping her coffee with a mischievous smile that says; ‘Thank me later’ all over her face. He gave his sister a nod before turning back up to her. 

“Are you okay?” She aks, concerningly. “Never better, love.”

He was done with being afraid. Done being a coward. 

In her embrace, he pecks her lips. 

Even though she was quite surprised, he earned nothing but a smile from his sweetheart. 

“I’d say yes, y’know?”

“About what?”

“If you still want to marry me.” 

Billy smiles to her. Guess he gotta save up then.

A/N: I SWEARRRR this fic took me so long to complete cuz it’s so overwhelming to write especially the Cranstead Fields scene- I had to go back and forth on youtube to keep the dialogues and description right꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱. But anw, thank you so much for reading until the end! I hope you guys enjoyed it and I still had so much fun writing this fic. I hope this fic makes sense, cuz I really wanted to keep it as accurate as possible with ‘Trigger Point’ in the first place(゜▽゜;). I’m up for requests for any Ewan characters and if you want me to write something in the future or you have ANY fic ideas, don’t hesitate to hmu! My inbox is open :D THANK YOUU!!! 

P.S, I would like to give a little shoutout to @/targaryenrealnessdarling and the Cranstead Fields scene was also inspired by their Billy Washington series fic called “It’s Who We Have” so please check their blog as well they wrote so many amazing fics. 

That’s all! Love, Alice!ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐

Tags🎀: @ladytargg @anukulee @michaelsgavey @whencokewascasual @fan-goddess

[slayfics]

Hello! I’ve been reading your posts for a couple weeks now and I love them sm! Muichiro has a place in my heart after season 3 lol. I was wondering if you could do a one shot where the reader saves him from a vital blow from a demon after a bad argument? It hits her in her shoulder and goes almost all the way through her body. So there’s blood and all that stuff. It splashed muichiro in the face and he’s just silent as reader hits the floor. He defeats the demon and reader is just unconscious (not dead) and he freaks? Idk how it would end though? If this sounds absolutely crappy just ignore me 🥹 love your writing!

You get badly hurt by a demon after a fight with Muichiro.

Warnings: blood

You couldn't believe after all this time Muichiro still had the nerve to talk down to you. Sure you were still ranked lower than him but you had proven your worth, the days of feeling you didn't deserve respect were long gone.

You cursed the fact that you both were summoned in the middle of an argument to quickly catch a group of demons. Even more, frustration welled up inside you that Obanai had already beaten you both to the demon.

Why were you even summoned when a Hashira was already at the demon? Whatever the case, you and Muichiro quickly got to work attacking the demons with Obanai.

Whether it was due to the reassuring presence of Obanai being another Hashira in the fight, or the argument you were both in right before the fight, you both seemed to be disorganized in the fight.

To the point that you saw Muichiro left an opening for a demon to come right for him. Without thinking you quickly moved yourself between Muichiro and the demon.

The demon's attack went completely through your shoulder splashing blood everywhere. Swiftly Muichiro spun and cut the demon's head off as you fell to the floor.

Obanai had just taken out he last demon and rushed to assess the situation with Muichiro.

Muichiro stared over your body completely in shock as more blood from your wound spilled out to soak his feet.

"What the hell are you doing just standing there!" Obanai barked at Muichiro. Obanai quickly took off his haoir and wrapped it around your wound.

"We have to get her to the Butterfly Mansion right away,"

Muichiro blinked away the tears forming in his eyes, "Right-" He finally spoke.

"Well pick her up!" Obanai commanded, irritated at Muichiro's shock and lack of action.

Muichiro shook his head quickly trying to focus then carefully grabbed you into his arms. Obanai took off in the direction of the Butterfly Mansion and Muichiro followed right behind.

"Why were you both fighting so carelessly?" Obanai asked, as the two Hashria's continued to run.

"We were in the middle of a disagreement when we were summoned," Muichiro spoke.

"Hmm- I see," Obanai responded.

"Iguro..." Muichiro called from behind.

"Yes, Tokito?"

"She'll be alright won't she?"

"If we are fast enough," Obanai answered.

You woke up in the Butterfly Mansion to the sight of a misty-eyed Muichiro sitting across from you. Immediately he stood up when your eyes opened. You didn't feel any pain, actually the opposite you couldn't feel the right side of your body.

"Tokito?" You called hazily looking at the Hashira.

"Do you need anything? How do you feel? Are you ok?" He bombarded you with questions.

"I can't really feel anything yet," You answered. 'What happened?"

"I wasn't paying attention and you took an attack from a demon to save me," he explained.

"Oh..." You started to have some memories of the event flooding back to you.

"Are you ok?" You asked.

Muichiro scoffed, "Yes thanks to you," He answered. "I shouldn't have been so careless," He said, looking down at the floor.

"It's ok- we weren't really in a good mindset. I'm sorry we fought," you said.

"No, you don't need to apologize. I'm the one that let you down. I was useless in that fight," he scolded himself.

"You got me back here safe. It's ok, don't be so hard on yourself," You tried to console him.

"No, I can't take credit for that either. I stood frozen while Iguro took control of the situation. You should be thanking him, not me," Muichiro said, tears beginning to form in his eyes.

"Tokito, it's ok. It was just a bad day. Nothing we can't overcome," you pleaded with him.

"No, I- I'm sorry I should go-" He said, turning to walk out and get one of the butterfly girls.

"No!" You yelled at the Hashira. "Don't leave me please!"

"You really want my company after the harsh things I said and my negligence in today's fight," he said bitterly.

"You're so aggravating sometimes, Tokito! Just come here," You said sternly, swallowing a lump in your throat.

Muichiro reluctantly moved closer to you. You reach out for his hand bringing it to your lips and gently placing a kiss.

"Stop being so difficult," you commanded. Finally, Muichiro's shoulders relaxed a bit and a smile found a way to his face.

Thank you so much for the request I hope you enjoy it~

Tags~

@aeolia18 @yandere-kou @sakurasunkiss @hashiroses @plvuii @snowmist-hashira

[akatharton]

now that i've thought about it for a little bit, i think i can articulate why forsaken fell flat for me. major spoilers ahead, obviously.

i had a lot of issues with the way bowden characterized haytham, tbh. an advantage of writing in first person POV is that it allows you to really get into a character's head and dissect whatever it is that makes them tick, but haytham comes off like a disinterested bystander in his own life for much of this book. it's most apparent in the earlier parts--like, i really can't suspend my disbelief enough to buy that any child would be able to sit down and write a dispassionate play-by-play of their father's murder shortly after witnessing it. yes, haytham is emotionally closed-off even by 18th century british guy standards, but i didn't get the impression that bowden intentionally wrote him as a character who represses his emotions to avoid dealing with pain--honestly, he just seems kind of bored.

this is made worse by the fact that a lot of important character moments happen offscreen or are breezed through haphazardly. to give an example--around halfway through the book, haytham witnesses braddock's troops massacre a group of dutch civilians. this is presented as a major turning point for his character, as his disgust and horror at the experience prompt him to question his (up until that point) rather insouciant attitude towards violence. you would think that we, as the audience, would get to witness this scene and be privy to our protagonist's thoughts and reactions during what is ostensibly a very traumatic moment for him. yeah lol no. we only hear about it secondhand when haytham relays his falling-out with braddock to birch. but we do get around 50 pages of him chasing a bunch of mercenaries through the black forest in a plot thread that ends up leading nowhere and getting unceremoniously dropped.

to give bowden due credit, older haytham seems much more like a fully realized character than his younger self, though as a sad middle-aged man enjoyer i may be biased. i love how jaded and bitter he is, though it's frustrating how the story never really goes into why he no longer believes that any sort of detente between assassins and templars is possible. his reflections on his relationship with connor are probably the strongest part of the book, and some of their interactions--like the scene where he saves connor from execution--are, imo, better than what we got in the game. that said, i really cannot wrap my head around some of the retcons, with the most egregious being the scene in which haytham finds out about ziio's death from connor. in bowden's version, he already knows that washington murdered ziio and is faking his reaction for... gaslight girboss reasons, i guess? (side note: his dumb ass is not that good of an actor.) just a baffling authorial choice. that scene was hugely important for both characters and one of the few times in the game that we get to see haytham genuinely panicked and unguarded, but god forbid you ever include drama and emotional gravitas in your story, i guess? can't distract from the important stuff, like uh... *checks notes* haytham strangling a guy with his thighs and burning a bunch of coptic priests alive for chopping his valet's dick off.

[mythica0]

Medicine

🎂:fop; a new wish

🧁: Peri

🍫: Dev

Summary: when Peri is grumpy one morning, Dev thinks it’s a prefect opportunity for payback.

A/N: Revenge for Dev!! >:3 I kinda wish this was longer but Y’know it is what it is. Also Im not a fan of the title lol. It sounds so basic.(if you have a better idea comment it or put in your reblog and maybe I’ll steal it and credit u :3)

Medicine

Dev was about to get revenge.

He had now been tickled twice by Peri for being sad. And here Peri was. Sad.

Well, it was more angry or frustrated but that’s basically the same thing!

But he had to do it right. He needed a nice dramatic entrance!

“Hey Peri, what’s bothering ya?”

“Hmm? Oh, nothing much, just some stuff with Jorgen. Y’know- work things.”

“Okay then. How bout I help with that?”

“Huh?”

Dev then pounced on the fairy, quickly going for his sides.

“Whahait whahahat?!”

“What was it you said?” He pretended to ponder, “… Doctor tickle monster is here to cure your blues!”

“Whahahat nohohoho! Stohohop!”

Dev smirked, “‘I’m afraid I can’t do that until you’re cured!’” He mocked, “And i think you need a taste of your own medicine!”

“Dehehehev whahahat thehe heheck!”

“Revenge, Peculiar!”

Peri did a double take, “Thahahats nohot myhy nahame!”

“I know. But misnaming is kinda my thing, Pancake.”

Just then, Dev decided to dig into Peri’s tummy, Causing his laugh to drastically increase in volume.

“Oh! What’s this~ you got a ticklish belly too, pinball?” He teased, Smirking as he watched his godfathers face go red.

“MAHAHAYHAHAPS!”

Dev snickered “mayhaps? What kinda silly word is that?”

“I DUHUNOHO! CRAHAHAHAHAP!” His laughter echoed, his wings fluttering rapidly.

“C’mon Pineapple~ it can’t be that bad!”

“YOHOU KNOHOW IHIT IHIHIS!”

Dev shrugged “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“WHAHAT? YEHES YOHOU DOHO, JEHERK!”

“Okay, fine, ya caught me. But that was rude! I think that’s a perfect excuse to try a little something..”

Then Peri heard a deep inhale. “CRAHAP, NOHOHO!”

Dev gave him the biggest raspberry he could muster right in the center of his tummy.

Peri absolutely screamed.

“Wohoah!” Dev giggled “that was so loud! I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole town heard you!”

Peri blushed more at the comment, “IHI CAHANT HEHELP IHIT! THAHAT TIHICKLEHES SOHO MUHUCH!”

“Aww~ too bad, Pencil! You’re just gonna have to deal with it~ and hey! I think you’re having fun~ just look at the way your wings are flapping!”

“STOHOP, DEHEHEV!”

“Hmm, let me think about it….No.” Dev smiled, he really enjoyed being a mischievous little fella. Or should I say, Dev-ious?

Peri’s laughter filled the room, flowing from him relentlessly. Dev decided to move to a different spot, moving up towards his underarms.

“I wonder if this’ll tickle just as bad, hmm~”

Peri’s laughter quieted slightly.

“Aww, not as bad. But that’s okay- we’ll just come back to your tummy later.” Dev winked at Peri and his face flushed even more at the thought.

Peri giggled for a while, Curling around himself but never trying to push the kid off of him.

“C’mohohon, kihihid! Cuhuhut ihihit ohohout!”

“Alright, alright..” He slowed down, and then-

He blew another raspberry on his tummy, Scribbling his ribs at the same time.

After he finished the raspberry, he moved his hands back to the death spot, applying the perfect amount of pressure to put Peri through tickle hell. Not that Peri truly minded.

“Ha! Tricked you!”

“YEAHAH, YOHOU GOHOT MEHE, DEHEV PLEHEASE!” Peri was admittedly having fun, but he was reaching his limit.

Picking up on this in his plea, Dev stopped for real this time.

After Peri could actually talk again, Dev looked to him. “You okay? I didn’t go to far, did I?” He looked slightly scared- as if worried he did something wrong.

Peri was quick to reassure him. “Yeah, yeah I’m ok, Dev. You stopped right when I really needed you to.”

Dev let out a breath. “Thank goodness. You feeling any better after that?”

Peri smiled at his godkid, “Y’know what, kid? I am.”

“That’s good. Maybe we should come up with some kinda code so we know when to actually stop, since we both protest too much.”

“A safe word! Excellent idea. What about the stoplight system, it’s a classic.”

“What would that mean?”

“Red for stop, Yellow for slow down, Green for all good. It’s a great way to check up on the lee.”

“Sounds like a plan. Glad you had fun, Peri”

“Oh, Peri? Not Pizza or Prickle or Pristine or something?”

Dev laughed. “Yeah, yeah, you know I was just teasing.”

They both laughed together.

Maybe Peri didn’t mind the taste of his own medicine.

———THE END————————————————

[personality-corner]

My Thoughts on Popular Personality Websites

Inspired by conversations happening in the comment section of this post (shout out to @istj-mbti and @flayedsheep )

16 Personalities

Ah, 16 personalities, the enemy of the MBTI community… I’m joking… kind of. In all seriousness though, 16 personalities is really more similar to the Big Five personality types, than it is to MBTI. It can be a great tool… just not for understanding MBTI.

If you take it, you might get an accurate type, but more often than not… you won’t. I’m an INTP, and for the longest time, I always got INFP or INFJ on this test. My ISFP friend and ENFP friend both got INFP, and my INTJ friend has gotten variations, from INFJ, INTP to his actual type.

It has a big intuitive bias, and even though most of the MBTI community rejects this website, I definitely feel like this website is responsible for the intuitive bias present in the community. The biggest flaw however, is the disregard for cognitive functions.

And I get it. Cognitive functions are complicated and not everyone wants to sit down and learn the cognitive functions, and they really wanted to market this test for general audiences

I do think that alot of people who get into MBTI, start with this test, because it is so universally used in schools and jobs and stuff.

Personality Database

I have mixed opinions on PDB. Hypothetically, it’s a great place for discussions, when it comes to fictional characters, but like most MBTI forums it can turn sour very quickly, and it’s filled with people that have varied understanding of MBTI or enneagram.

Like, you’ll have a lot of adults who have been into MBTI for years and have a strong understanding of all the types, you have people who are just learning what cognitive functions are, then you’ll have teenagers who have just taken the 16 personalities test.

So in general, typings on that website are very hit or miss, but it’s a really great place to start when I’m unsure about a character typing, and want to see arguments other people have. However, I really hate when people use the typings on that site as the end-all-be-all of character types.

I mean, look at this?

Anna and Mirabel? ENFPs? I don’t have a super popular opinion on Anna’s typing but… ENFP?! Really? Also, how tf is Mirabel ANYTHING but an Fe user?

I agree on the consensus for Mulan though.

Sarkinova.net

I do think that out of the majority of the MBTI tests online, this one is the most accurate, because it takes cognitive functions into account. However I do have a few concerns with it, the first being its so long lol.

I know that they want to get the most in depth understanding of a person, but a lot of the times, it just feels like they are asking the same questions over and over again, but with different wording, and that can make it frustrating, and a lot of the time, I don’t finish it.

Not to mention, even though this one is more accurate than most, there are always flaws with these types of test. No test will be in depth enough to understand you enough as a person to give you an accurate type. This is another test I’ve taken multiple times and have been given a different type.

Though I will give the test credit, this one has been given me my actual type before… so at least there’s that. I do think if you’re going to take a test, this one is a good one to take.

MBTI Online

No judgement… but I am begging people to not pay 60 dollars for this test. You can find ones that are just as good for cheaper, or even better yet, free. This test isn’t going to give you anything any other test will.

I do know someone who spent the 60 dollars, and still got mistyped by it sooo… yeah. If you really want to take it, by all means, go ahead, I just wouldn’t.

[crehador]

brother crab's summer 2024 parting thoughts: a bunch of stuff

i've been falling behind on jotting down my thoughts this season and if i don't do it fast i am 100% going to forget what i watched lol so here's a bunch at once

tasuuketsu:

YEAH. GOOD. PLEASE. LET IT BE OVER

unfortunately this isn't actually over but you know what it is? bad. it's bad. worst death game series in A While. there are some... maybe? faintly compelling ideas here? but the execution is just a mess. the cast lured me in but i should have been more discerning umu

what's worrying to me is it feels like it could have ended in ep9 but then propelled itself straight into an incredibly unnecessary second arc (i mean in fall fairness the first nine episodes were also unnecessary) and there's still no episode count on anilist. i pretty much never drop anything but if this somehow ends up being two cour i might bounce

it's so so so rare for me to not have something good to say about a series but... yeah. not good

boku no tsuma wa kanjou ga nai:

if i turn my brain off this is a pretty cute, funny, and fun show! i had my reservations at first but after a few episodes wound up enjoying it quite a bit

if i think about it even a little it becomes completely frustrating to me that this show doesn't get deeper into the psychological and moral aspects that could have been explored here, which isn't fair to the show because that's not really what it set out to be

to its credit, it does kind of get into that sort of thing. not too deep, but in ways that were reasonably satisfying to me. i guess my mehness comes from the fact that this premise would have been more interesting to me if it had been played as a psychological/existential horror instead of a romcom, but again that is not the fault of the show itself, it can be whatever it wants to be

and seriously, decent romcom! mamoru is especially adorable. just leave your brain at the door

shikanoko nokonoko koshitantan:

i will admit that no episode of this was as gut-bustingly hilarious as the first episode to me, like it came out the gate strong and maybe floundered a bit along the way

but overall i still enjoyed it immensely! i'm a fan of surreal, absurdist humor, and while i wouldn't say this is one of the best in the genre (there are definitely better) it was a fun ride

the girls were great and i'm also a huge fan of a) narrators who get to be funny little assholes too and b) toriumi kousuke so the narrator here was a double win for me

[butterflydm]

wot reread: a memory of light (ch 7-10)

spoilers through the final book, a memory of light

While they were inside having the meeting, Rand's presence in Merrilor has caused trees to sprout and grow outside the pavilion. Perrin says they're the same kinds of trees that he's seen inside an Ogier stedding. The trees are already hundreds of feet tall. I like all of this One with the Land stuff for Rand. It's enjoyable.

2. Elayne doesn't let herself get too distracted, instead calling for maps so that she can start figuring out the logistics of the army. Bryne being cold to Elayne because he holds the actions of her mom against her: damn, Siuan, you really settled when you went for him (he does mellow later and make it clear that he respects her as a leader but that his loyalties are now with the White Tower, so I will give him partial credit). Elayne does take charge here, even when Amys tries to say that the Aiel can handle their own parts of the battle and she doesn't budge when Aviendha tries to press her either, which I really like.

Proud as I am of Elayne for being the wrangler for the entire war effort here (she spends hours here with the generals, clan chiefs... and Perrin, lol), I am not super interested in the details of battles, so I'm not going to be relaying troop movements or anything like that unless it's emotionally important to one of the characters.

3. Let's talk about the Five Great Captains thing for a hot minute: one of the frustrating things that Jordan did was create five continent-famous generals and... they're all men. And the one place where maybe we could find a female Great Captain (the Green Ajah), we're explicitly told: nah, she isn't. So I am definitely glad that Elayne was placed at the head of all the armies here because it's really a Dude Show apart from her (and some input from Amys & Aviendha as Wise Ones).

I kinda hope that the show just does away with the whole "the Five Great Captains" concept as a whole. Give us one or maybe two really good generals on the Westlands side (Bashere is the most important) and then let the Captain-General of the Green Ajah actually be one of the big military leaders, along with including representatives from the Aiel (Rhuarc, Amys, & Aviendha) -- instead of Bryne, let the head of the Green Ajah in Salidar be the one leading Egwene's army.

Because as awful as the Seanchan are, one thing that they do have over the Westlands is that women are just as likely to be important military leaders (like Perrin's slaver BFF Tylee) as men are -- though even there, we had the weird thing where, at least for some of the female soldiers, marriage disqualifies you from service (just like with the Maidens).

So clearly Jordan was aware that women are capable of having strong tactical minds. He just... decided not to do that with the Westlands. For whatever reason.

(oh, I just realized that Lord Agelmar, one of the great captains in the books, has already been killed off in the show! My wish is partially granted already; and we've also seen that the Greens are more willing to fight in the show as well, so the other half of my wish -- that the Green leader in Salidar lead Egwene's armies -- seems pretty plausible, and that would cut Bryne out of the story fairly neatly)

4. The Ogier arrive, which is also when Elayne finds out that they were on the verge of leaving the planet entirely. But Loial's speech worked and every Ogier who is able to fight has come to fight on the side of the Light. lol, forever at Perrin pretending that he did anything when it comes to this; he says that he went ~looking for the Ogier~ to try to see if they could help but then they were already here at Merrilor. You stepped outside a tent? That's your big accomplishment here, Perrin?

5. When Elayne goes to assign Perrin a task, he refuses, because he is a useless person, but Faile steps up to volunteer, because she is a useful person. Anyway, Faile is now in charge of the supply chain, because Perrin thinks he's too good to listen to the person that Rand put in charge of the battle. The excuse he gives is that Rand ~needs Perrin by his side~ so I will wait and see if Perrin actually does stick right next to Rand's side to protect him or if he wanders off on his own.

6. Speaking of people who won't do as they need to: we get a mention of Mat not being here (this time in context of shirking his duty as the Hornblower for the Horn of Valere) and Perrin says that Mat is in Ebou Dar "doing something with the Seanchan" (you know, the people who are still the enemy right now).

How could Perrin know that? He's never been to Ebou Dar. He wouldn't recognize it even if he saw that Mat was there in a color swirl vision. Also, it's only been "hours" since Perrin had the vision of Mat on a dusty road and it takes a bit longer (weeks longer) than "hours" to go from the Tower of Ghenjei (which is in Andor) to Ebou Dar (which is on the southern tip of Altara).

...but I will refrain going into detail on this until we get a Mat PoV chapter, in case there is an explanation on his travel logistics.

7. Also, wow, we really needed to get more from Elayne on what she thinks is happening here. Perrin does not mention here that Mat is married to the Empress of the Slavers Seanchan so... interesting for him to leave that out, since he knows and was so tickled pink by it in his conversation with Mat; and Elayne is only aware that Mat had kidnapped one of the High Blood during his escape from Ebou Dar and that he'd freed Aes Sedai who had been captured as damane. Per ToM, Elayne got the 'heroic' story from Thom while Perrin got the 'Mat married a slaver' story from Thom.

So Perrin and Elayne are actually approaching this conversation from incredibly different levels of knowledge but we don't really get any implication here that Perrin is intentionally hiding the truth about Mat's relationship with the Seanchan from Elayne (due to her being a channeler and Mat's slaver wife being someone who would happily torture and enslave her), he just... doesn't happen to mention the full extent of what Mat is doing. Also: Perrin doesn't mention here that if Elayne wants to know more about what Mat was doing last, she should talk to Moiraine, Thom, and Grady. Why not? Why are we acting like Mat's movements are a state secret that can only be found out via mystic color swirls? Mat cannot go from Point A to distant Point B instantaneously unless he has a strong channeler helping him, because Mat can't channel.

8. All we get from Elayne here is "the Seanchan are the enemy. Mat doesn't seem to understand that, considering what he's done," which could just literally be a reaction to Perrin telling her that Mat has quit the field to go hang out with slavers. Especially since Perrin's 'explanation' was so vague and cagey despite how he actually knows for a fact that Mat is married to the fascist leader of the slaver empire. It could be that he's worried that if Elayne is hesitant to trust Faile due to not really knowing her*, that Elayne definitely wouldn't be willing to trust Mat with the Horn, if she knew that Mat had run off to play house with the enemy (because they are under the impression that the Heroes fight for whoever they're called to, rather than fighting for 'the Dragon' specifically). But, again, we don't really get a hint of that in his thought process here. He just doesn't tell Elayne about Mat's true relationship with the Seanchan for... reasons, I guess.

Elayne even worries here that Mat's "put himself into trouble" with the Seanchan, which makes sense, since the story she got from Thom was focused on Mat being a sneaky freedom fighter who frees slaves! And Perrin offers zero clarification.

(* I am going to point out that Elayne knows Perrin and Faile roughly equally well? She doesn't actually have a developed friendship with Perrin. She saw him briefly in Falme, post-battle, probably, would have spent an equal amount of time with Perrin and Faile during Tear because they were basically joined at the hip, and then the next time she saw him was when he showed up in Caemlyn in ToM. It's Mat who Elayne has spent time with and knows, not Perrin. It's weird because it felt like Sanderson was aware of this in the Elayne & Perrin scenes back in ToM)

9. Yeah, I really do feel like having Caemlyn be one of the battlefronts of the Last Battle doesn't feel needed at all. I'm guessing it's supposed to be there to add ~personal stakes~ to the fight for all our Andor-born characters but... literally all of them are people who understand that all of existence is at stake. They didn't really need the fight to have additional personal stakes. The stakes are already there. All the Caemlyn battle did was make it so that the book doesn't have room in the pacing for the important character moments that we keep skipping. This scene with Lan at Tarwin's Gap is good, though.

10. Elayne talks to Talmanes about the tragedy of Caemlyn. Perrin and his troops have... apparently come with Elayne to Caemlyn? Even though Rand isn't here? Wow, that really does make it seem like Perrin used Min's viewing as an excuse to get out of work that he didn't want to do rather than it actually being the main concern in his mind. That was literally only last chapter and Perrin has already gone away from Rand's side, lol.

Elayne notes here that Talmanes is one of Mat's "most trusted" men and is slightly disappointed that Mat hasn't 'corrupted' him into swearing more. I will note again that Talmanes is the one person* who knows that this entire tragedy could have prevented if Mat had been willing to read a letter. Mat not being confronted with his failure here is another example of Mat vanishing from a storyline and leaving a gaping hole, which is something that Jordan (and now Sanderson) did with Mat but not really any other character. It really does feel like Mat should have been two separate characters by this point in the story (honestly leaning towards feeling that Harriet was wrong to suggest Jordan cut The Fourth Ta'veren Boy back in TEotW) because he just leaves these massive narrative holes all over the place that have to be hastily shored up with tertiary characters.

(* apart from Olver, who didn't really seem to fully understand the note; also, side note... where is Olver? I dimly recall that he isn't dead -- no thanks to Mat -- but no one has mentioned him)

The Boy Who Defects To The Seanchan and The Boy Who Saves Moiraine At The Tower Of Ghenjei really are incompatible character through-lines, including just needing to be in completely different physical locations at roughly the same time. If we still had Fourth Boy (who I am assuming would be Seanchan-Defector Boy), then I assume Seanchan-Defector Boy would have simply gone back to Ebou Dar with Fortuona.

11. Elayne notes that it has been 'one day' since Talmanes was pulled out of the city. The attack on Caemlyn began literally while Talmanes and Olver were still waiting for Mat to return from the Tower of Ghenjei, something that Mat was explicitly planning on doing at the end of ToM.

I'm trying to wait until Mat's PoV chapter to truly judge this storyline but, wow, the logistics are a mess and make zero sense in terms of the timeline and geography involved. Mat is not a channeler. The channeler who was helping Mat with the Tower of Ghenjei is at Merrilor.

Mat has no viable path to Ebou Dar that doesn't go through Merrilor, not if he wants to get there sooner than a month or two months from when he and the others exited the Tower of Ghenjei. Moiraine went into the 'finn doorway before Egwene rediscovered Traveling for female channelers, so Moiraine would not know the Traveling weave (though I'm sure she's learned it by now -- probably the first thing she did after the meeting with Rand!).

I'm... extremely curious to see how Mat's first PoV chapter makes sense of the logistics of his storyline. Because as it stands right now, it looks like Sanderson & Team Jordan simply dropped the ball when it came to Mat's timeline in comparison with everyone else's, because this makes no logical sense.

12. It's so weird for Elayne to casually be thinking about how "Tam" has come along with Perrin with absolutely zero internal acknowledgement that he's the grandfather of the kids that she's currently carrying. I'm... pretty sure she knows that he's Rand's dad, right? Otherwise, why would she even mark out this specific captain of Perrin's as special? Also, Bashere has told Elayne that Rand gave him ~special instructions~ to watch over her. The contradictions of whether or not Elayne is being treated as Rand's love interest (who is pregnant with his kids!) continues to be super-weird.

Bashere suggests that Elayne make it public that her kids are also Rand's, and she tells him a. it's none of his business and b. that sort of thing would make her kids targets. Also, you know, if she does decide to do that, maybe she should... tell Tam first? Separately? Because he's their grandfather?

But, nope, Elayne decides to just make a general announcement, against her better judgement. I will note again that Tam is part of this wing of the army, so he would find out here that his son, who gave him a ~special introduction~ to Min back in ToM, also got the Queen of Andor pregnant. How is it possible that Tam doesn't have some questions about that?

13. The Last Battle is actively occurring on four different fronts, and Mat Cauthon is a deserter. It's hard to avoid that thought, as we move from battlefield to battlefield and Mat continues to be inexplicably not present. In Tarwin's Gap, Lan's forces have to retreat from the full crush of the Shadow's forces.

14. We learn from Egwene's thoughts that she and Gawyn got married in a private ceremony. Once again, I say, stop having important emotional moments happen off-screen!

How is the Morgase & Tallanvor's wedding ceremony more relevant to spend page time on than Egwene & Gawyn's wedding? Baffling priorities!

I feel like that's the main issue at hand with A Memory of Light: it does not feel like the narrative priorities are in the right place. We keep skipping important emotional moments so that we can have battle scenes instead. We've spent way too much time on tertiary characters in a subplot that is completely detached from the main plotlines (the Black Tower plotline).

I have absolutely no idea what rumors or gossip is currently out there about Rand's various relationships (especially after Elayne has now had it announced that she's pregnant with his kids -- Rand parading around with Min while Elayne is several months pregnant seems like it could hurt morale as much as it boosts it, because now Rand looks like a philandering douchebag, which is maybe not super-reassuring to the rank-and-file, who already viewed Min as Rand's "pet", per Min's PoV in TGS. we saw what kind of impact the Berelain situation had with Perrin back during the Slog; it made his men look at him with less trust and respect. not ideal!).

And we keep getting reminded that Mat isn't here, but it also makes no logical sense for him not to be here, given the set-up we were left with in the last book.

15. Elayne has suggested setting up a hospital for the wounded soldiers, run by Yellow Ajah Sisters. Of course she has! <3 <3 <3 <3 Egwene agrees that it's a good idea and suggests that they set it up in Mayene, far away from the various battlefields.

16. It's finally time for Egwene to talk to Leilwin née Egeanin, who Nynaeve has deemed 'marginally trustworthy', lol. Leilwin née Egeanin swears herself to Egwene's service but then admits that she doesn't have the kind of inside knowledge that Egwene is asking for. Even so, Egwene tells Leilwin née Egeanin to tell her what she can of the Seanchan & the Empress's plans. I, uh. Hope that someone is taking notes. For. Reasons. For the future.

17. Are Rand and Elayne finally going to interact in private? Rand snuck into Elayne's tent and is checking out her maps. It's so weird that he feels like he needs to sneak around to see her when she's literally throwing out public 'I love you's (and now announcing that he's the father of her future kids), what on earth is the public status of Rand's relationships?

(if Rand is here 'in secret', does that mean that Perrin still gets points for 'staying near him'? The color swirls aren't a radar detection technique that tells him where Rand is at all times, so I'm going to say 'no')

18. I genuinely loved this reunion but the timing makes no sense -- either they should be cutely sneaking around at the very beginning of the book (before the big meeting) or they both should have been firm on doing the spy games and pretending that they don't have a relationship and then it would make sense that it took this long before they could arrange to be in the same place. The half-and-half thing that the books actually went with it... kinda just weird.

19. But I will choose not to focus on that at this time and will instead focus on what we actually got out of the reunion: he's impressed by Elayne's battle planning (🥰🥰🥰); "golden hair with a hint of honey and rose" (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 he is GONE for her 🥰🥰🥰🥰); here is life (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰) ; he thinks everything about her is beautiful and amazing and wonderful (🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰). I love that he is capable of being absolutely gone over her in his head but also had zero issue treating her like fellow a capable ruler that he respects. They have the range. Ugh, we were cheated out of so much Rand & Elayne time in the books!

20. Elayne and Rand both mourn that they've never had time to figure out where their relationship fit into the whole 'the world is ending' scenario. Hey. Hey, there would have been a quick fix for that: Rand not immediately bouncing after their day & night together in Winter's Heart and actually staying in contact with Elayne & Aviendha after the bonding!

And even if his head was too screwed up to do that until after the epiphany, Rand had all of Towers of Midnight to visit Elayne BEFORE it was literally 'the middle of the Last Battle'; he knew exactly where to find her. But, in addition to letting him find out about the pregnancy, Rand visiting Elayne in Towers of Midnight would have also meant a Cauthor reunion in Towers of Midnight, and that would have made it even more ridiculous that Mat spontaneously deserted on the eve of the Last Battle, I guess. I mean, it's still ridiculous, because Mat was planning to return to Caemlyn at the end of ToM, but I repeat myself, lol.

(yes, yes, I promised I would hold off on complaining about the Mat plotline until we actually got there. I'm trying! lol)

AU idea: Rand goes to Caemlyn after his epiphany; runs into Mat and I guess maybe Perrin too, lol.

21. Okay, if she didn't know before that Tam is Rand's dad, she definitely knows now because he just said "Tam will be a grandfather" (which Tam also knows, because Elayne literally announced it to her army). So if Tam and Elayne interact in the future, they do so with Elayne knowing that's her boyfriend's dad and with Tam knowing that's the mother of his son's kids. So I would expect to actually see that reflected in how they interact.

Rand kneeling in front of Elayne so that he can touch her stomach is pretty cute. 🥰

So, Rand tells her here that he didn't know about her pregnancy "not until the night before the meeting." This would have been a perfect place for a justifiably puzzled Elayne to ask, "why didn't Min tell you? She told the entire Royal Palace," but then Min might actually be treated like a person who is capable of making mistakes* and not just as Rand's Sexy Accessory, so of course it doesn't come up.

(* the mistake in question being blabbing all over the palace about Elayne's personal secrets, which resulted in Elayne getting objectified by much of her household staff and being treated as nothing but a vessel for her pregnancy; Min getting so drunk that she forgot everything is just the Hand of the Author making sure that Rand isn't allowed to get any positive news during his downward spiral)

22. Rand feels "warmth" at the knowledge that he's going to be a dad but sorrow at the thought that he will probably die and leave them fatherless.

Awww, at this "last lesson" from Elayne on being a monarch. "It is all right to plan for the worst possibilities but you must not bask in them. You must not fixate on them. A queen must have hope before all else." As @markantonys and I have talked about, this really does feel like such a major part of why Jordan kept Elayne separated from Rand for so long -- because she could have given him useful advice on how to balance the concerns of being a ruler with what he needed to do to keep himself emotionally centered as a person.

What we've seen Rand get from both Elayne here and from Aviendha earlier on in the books, it's advice and reassurance that Jordan felt he needed to withhold from Rand in order for him to spiral down to rock-bottom. Rand wasn't allowed to have hope, so that's why Jordan made sure he couldn't spend too much time with Elayne. We saw in his private scenes with Min that she brushed off moments like this or tried to distract Rand with sex rather than engaging with him as a person (or sometimes she would threaten him with a knife).

23. Our two workaholics talk shop during their romantic dinner together. Of course they do. Elayne talks shop when she's taking a bath, lol.

Aaaah, I really do love Rand's thoughts here about how his love for Elayne was forged because of the things that they have in common and the burdens that they share. He feels like she can really understand the part of him that has been crushing him the most (maybe the second-most, after the prophecies of the dragon). Respect, understanding, attraction, and affection.

24. Elayne asks him about what happened "that day atop Dragonmount" and Rand thinks that he's not talked about that specific moment with anyone yet. He tells her that he realized how important it was that he care in order to fight this battle, and that means that he now truly feels the pain of all the deaths that are happening due to the Last Battle again, whereas before he could block it out.

Elayne intuits that he has Lews Therin's memories and when he confirms that he does, she's thrilled and tells him what an advantage that it gives them, and Rand is just blown away by her reaction.

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

I do like Rand and Aviendha and I find a lot of their culture clash elements charming and enjoyable, but Elayne and Rand Just Get Each Other on a fundamental level (and they always have! Elayne often had thoughts about how Rand would likely react a certain way to something and she's usually correct!). If they'd actually been allowed to spend more time together... *regretful sigh*

And even with how much they have in common, Elayne's passion about doing her part in his fight still pleasantly surprises him and he compares talking with her to watching fireworks -- always beautiful but the form that the beauty will take can still surprise him. I love them, your honor.

25. Rand literally uses his ta'veren One With The Land Dragon Reborn powers for fix Elayne's tea so that it isn't spoiled any more. I will die from the cute. I will die. Such a lovely and sweet quality of life thing for him to do for her!

And then he gives her a personalized gift that shows how well he knows her and respects her both as a person and with her specific Aes Sedai Talents: a Seed to help create angreal. And she gives him the ter'angreal knife that will protect him from the view of the Shadow, to help him during his fight, the one that Aviendha gave her (so in some ways, it is a gift from both of them to Rand -- one way that the show could, imo, improve on this scene is by letting Aviendha, Rand, and Elayne's reunion all happen together the same night rather than Aviendha's right before the Last Battle and Elayne's while the battle is already underway; then they could give him the knife as a joint gift).

26. "They stayed together long into the night. " Oh, I bet they did. *wiggles eyebrows*

🥰🥰🥰🥰

27. Hmm, we get the info on how many medallion copies currently exist:

There's Mat's medallion

There's a medallion copy that Mat currently has that he was planning on giving to a slaver

There's a medallion copy that Birgitte currently wears

And one copy was stolen by the Darkfriend queen's guard dude

So one original medallion and three copies, at this point in time. And Elayne has said that she can't make any more copies without the original, I think.

28. Birgitte has also continued to get ever more bitter and controlling, which I have speculated was a deliberate change of characterization to show how her memory loss is affecting her but the issue is that some readers of the book will take any bitter rant against a character they dislike as the gospel truth, rather than treating it as a biased PoV. And that can be very frustrating.

Just... man, remember when Birgitte was a fun character to be around? I miss when Birgitte was fun.

29. On her way back to the battle-planning tent, Elayne runs into Uno here, and he tries to watch his language and she ~generously~ tells him that he doesn't need to. Haha, she should just tell him that she likes to listen to swearing; he would probably find it a relief.

30. Lan's front continues to need to retreat from the battlefield and it makes him feel like he's abandoning the idea of Malkier all over again. Aww, Lan.

Oh, also, the 'dreadlords' of the Shadow have shown up (the Black Ajah and various Turned channelers and Darkfriend Asha'man, I assume. No mention of the Aiel in red veils yet).

31. ...we just casually mentioned that Elayne is relaying some news to "Talmanes, the Aiel, and Tam al'Thor." You can probably guess what I'm going to say.

Stop! Having Important Emotional Moments! Happen Off-Screen!

Elayne and Rand have reconnected. That is Rand's father, who presumably knows by now that Elayne, Queen of Andor, is pregnant with his grandkid(s). How is it possible that we completely skipped over any kind of conversation between them at all? We got a whole, like, page-long scene about Bashere pressuring Elayne into publicly announcing her pregnancy, but this scene we skip? Priorities!

32. Also, I just want to note that Perrin is off "engaging the Trollocs" and not, in fact, hanging around Rand in case he's needed to save his life. I really do think that Perrin was just using Min's viewing to get out of a job that he didn't want to do.

33. It is genuinely so bizarre that Elayne is hanging out with the Two Rivers archers, led by Tam al'Thor, and absolutely no one in the scene acknowledges that she's pregnant with Rand's kids. Everyone is just strictly all business.

...did Elayne have a sword before? I don't remember her having a sword before.

34. Feels weird that Mat isn't the one who sees the dragons finally being used in action for the first time. Again, it feels like Mat is missing out on all the conclusions to his various character arcs -- this one being about the industrialization of war. Mat has been tied to this from very nearly the beginning (TDR when he used fireworks to blow a hole in the Stone of Tear), even before he got his 'finn memories, and yet he's not allowed to finish out this character arc either. Of seeing this moment and realizing how much the battlefield has changed. Sure, he can see it again later on, but the impact of the first time that the readers saw this weapon of war in action, and the destruction that it leaves behind... this is part of Mat's story. That's the third story element where it feels like Mat has been abruptly cut out of completing part of his character journey:

irrationally mistrusting Aes Sedai leading to the attack on Caemlyn -> Mat doesn't see the results of his mistrust and doesn't actually learn the lesson

accepting Rand as the Dragon and as a friend at the same time -> doesn't actually talk with post-Dragonmount Rand about it, to bring their story full-circle

bringing new (non-Powered) war to the world -> is not one of the first people to see the destruction & cause it, not there to realize how much this changes the future of war (Birgitte gets to do it instead)

Theoretically, that could all be on purpose, in order to deliberately leave the feeling that Mat's story is the most unfinished at the end, but the way that he's been vanished from the Westlands stories just doesn't add up on a practical level, either logistically or narratively. Doesn't make sense.

I'm about a third of the way through, so here are my feelings about the book so far in my reread:

There are some fantastic individual scenes:

The Avilayne reunion: adorable

The Avirand reunion: funny and sweet and cute

The Randlayne reunion: peak romance; I died several times

Rand setting up the pavilion at Merrilor: amazing

But the overall priorities of this book feel like they are in the wrong place. The center does not hold. Those great individual moments are in a framework that is rushing past and ignoring many other potentially great character moments. And I get why the book feels rushed -- it is rushed. AMoL would have been, like, three or four books all on its own if Jordan had lived to write it. But I feel like Sanderson was choosing some of the wrong things to brush over and some of the wrong things to linger over.

Anyway, this is getting long enough, I think, so I will end this section of the reread here.

spoilers for the rest of the book below, past chapters that I've done in my reread

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Was the Elayne & Bashere scene meant to be a clue that Bashere had been Compelled?

Because Elayne is correct that there's no need to announce that her kids are also Rand's, and all it does it paint a new target on her back from Forsaken & Shadowspawn. Though from what I recall, there's absolutely zero story impact from this at all? Which kinda makes it even more unnecessary.

Arguments against this: Birgitte also seems all for it, for whatever reason?

I think that Bashere should have made the suggestion to make the announcement, Elayne should have rejected it, and then Bashere should have done it anyway. That would have been a very good clue that something was wrong with Bashere (though he could still justify it to himself by saying that he believes it will motivate the soldiers) without having Elayne cave to him for no real reason.

Elayne could even have found out that Bashere went behind her back because Tam came to her asking if it was true! We could have had an actual conversation between Elayne and Tam that led to them talking about the whole "Tam is gonna be a grandfather" thing.

[lordkingsmith]

Another little snippet for the Coinless/Just Dance Au;

Because I can’t help myself but this is one of my personal favorites @augment-techs

There will be a chapter three lol. This is the first of a new little bit of snippets

A month into being Drakkon's spy and Jack's guard Ollie broke. He broke because it wasn't fair, and Jack didn't mean to but was so close with so much skin, trying to make the best of what was going on. Ollie had to remind himself over and over Jack had grown up like this. A captive bird that still enjoyed more than Ollie ever had. He would always be a little apart, even as his mother's head general. He would always enjoy a slight bit more freedom than Ollie ever would. Jack was given special treatment and by virtue of being his guard, so was Ollie.

He hadn't wanted to be so high in the ranks. It made sense they wouldn't give Jack a green around the ears nobody to guard him. Even if that was exactly what happened, it wouldn't look good. Ollie didn't like being so high up, and nobody else liked it for him either.

He was often given the worst jobs when he had to be away from Jack. Or tripped or pushed or made the butt of snide jokes. The rumors about being Jack's appointed pet slut also dug under his skin. He found himself wishing the Orange Spectronizer would break in again, and either kill him or whisk him far away. Not anywhere near the Coinless. They'd undoubtedly want him dead too. But maybe the other dimension Jack was from. It'd be nice.

Jack was nice. He was very nice. And that made this worse. Ollie had imagined a snotty, spoiled, loud and brash, cruel little brat of a man. And then got a quiet and apologetic introspective man who tried to respect boundaries and actively reigned in any time he was even a little enthusiastic about anything.

If he'd just been an asshole this would be so much easier.

So when Ollie's feet were tripped and hand to hand training yielded a black eye and several scratches on his face the last thing he wanted was Jack trying to offer a bandaid of all things.

"Don't touch me!" Ollie shouted at him finally. There was a sick pleasure as Jack reared up and away from him. "Don't you fucking get close to me. Don't touch me."

"Ollie" he said, voice infuriatingly reasonable. "You're shaking."

"Shaking" Ollie laughed meanly. "Shaking. Okay. I'm shaking" he pulled his helmet off. "You wanna try to put a bandaid on this? Leave me all the way alone and let me do my job."

"I…" Jack to his credit had put a bit of space between them, but he again had that apologetic look. "I'm pretty sure your actual job is prying into my business so…we can't actually leave each other alone? But if you want to just do the guard bit right now…fine."

"Argue with me!"

"No"

Jack watched him quietly from his seat on his bed. Ollie gripped his head and let out a short scream of frustration. "I'm not even supposed to be here! This is all your fault!" He shouted. "You and your fucking obsession with Adam! I shouldn't be alive! I should be dead! Like Aiyon!"

When Aiyon's name left his lips he froze, everything rushing to him in a deep realization. Jack was looking at his folded hands, the red hair all Ollie could see. Ollie wished he'd look up again. "I don't need your pity." He spat after a moment.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jack asked finally. "Actually talk."

Ollie crossed his arms over his chest. "Fuck off."

"Trust me. Picking a fight isn't going to make you feel better." Jack said quietly. "Punishing me will just make you feel worse."

Ollie's lip curled. "You talk like you have experience."

"…Wanderlust." Jack admitted. "I turned him into a swan sentry hoping it'd get mom to be nicer. Or make me feel better. It didn't."

"…your brother has shit luck when it comes to this stuff doesn't he." Ollie slid down to sit on the floor. He threw the helmet across the room. It sailed past Jack's head without the red head flinching. "People call me your pet slut. Try to rip this suit off to try to find hickies." He rubbed at his face. "They're mad you keep me out of normal sentry duties most of the time. Mad that I sleep in here."

Ollie pointed at Jack as he opened his mouth. "Don't. Don't you dare say you're sorry." He scowled. "This would be so much easier if you actually were, you know."

"…if I was as awful as Drakkon?" Jack clarified quietly. At Ollie's nod he smiled bitterly. "Tell me about it."

Ollie drew his knees to his stomach. "I always thought I liked girls." He said with a faint shrug. "Never really thought about it. Didn't need to. My mom was an archaeologist and I followed her around you know? Drakkon had taken over but it took a while for me to feel it. Got to a small town, made friends…" he drew in a shaky breath. "…they died."

"And Aiyon?"

"He woke up out of a cyrostasis. When he went in dinosaurs were still walking around. By the time we met I was with the Coinless. People didn't like me, but he liked me. Didn't know if I was being honest, at first. But even before I realized…being with him was better than being alone."

Ollie sniffed as he rubbed at his eyes angrily. "We tried to get medicine. Here, we figured it'd be easier. Got caught. He died. Infection." Ollie's lips stretched into a macabre grin as he fought with the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm a traitor because Drakkon needed someone to use against you. And you aren't even doing what you're supposed to!"

"…do you even like men?" Jack asked quietly. "Aside from Aiyon. I don't..doubt you loved him I just." A soft huff. "I don't operate on mixed messages, Ollie."

Ollie wrapped his arms around his legs and rested his cheek on his knees. "It's easy to lean into it when its my job." He admitted. "You're my job. It'd be easier to do this if I could just pretend you're just my job. But you keep being nice to me!"

"But do you-"

"I don't know!" Ollie shouted. "I don't know if I like me or if I'm desperate and scared. I don't know if I like you! I don't know! I haven't felt anything for years and I don't know if I can tell you if I can tell!" He buried his face in his knees with his arms wrapped around them. "The suit doesn't even feel right." He said, it coming out muffled. "Eugene says that's not uncommon. But it always feels like it doesn't fit even when it does."

Ollie heard Jack get off the bed and walk to sit next to him. "My dad brought my mom from earth to the danciverses." Jack said. "And tried to make her go back when I was four. She scared me so badly about earth, filled my head with horrors. My dad never quite forgave me for going with her. My brother brought a girl into the danciverses a few years back. Sara."

"Sara's from here?"

"She was from the capital city, but didn't talk about it. I don't know much else about her life. Just that she told me while there was still bad stuff..there was good, too." He chuckled. "If it helps she didn't like me at first either."

"Kinda" Ollie went to wipe his face, the cuts stinging from the tears."what else?"

"My friends are under the same spell as that um. The pink ranger."

"Ranger Slayer." Ollie paused. "She's under a spell? How do you know?"

"Eyes. No matter what the eyes always go funny."

Jack got up and offered his hand to Ollie. "My step mother's one of the swan soldiers." He continued as Ollie let him help him up. "Traveler only sticks around because Night Swan is holding his son and wife hostage."

"Don't you mean sons? Plural?"

"No."

Jack led Ollie to the bathroom and pulled salve out of the mirror cupboard. "The god king of the danciverses never forgave me for choosing my mom. He says he looked for me and I believe him, but he found Si'ha before he found me…and he got a new son out of it. No need to keep looking for the old one." He hummed as he gently pulled Ollie's face into different angles for lighting.

"Strip. I want to see where else you were hurt."

"Those were healed."

"Yes." Jack agreed. "Strip."

"No." And then "why do you care."

"Well if you're going to be my pet slut" Jack and Ollie both made a face at the words. "I might as well directly avenge every scar made on you. If you know the names of who did it of course."

"I-" Ollie swallowed thickly. "No." And he had never felt so sorry to have to admit he didn't know the answer to something in his life. Jack just shrugged as he rubbed cold salve into Ollie's burning face.

"Still. I want to you go to bed. Properly. So strip. I'll guard our room."

"You're…not going to sleep with me?"

Jack patted his head.

"I'll see you in the morning."

[roominthecastle]

so....... RA 301, "Lone Wolf"

high points:

• the two Greys (a middle manager and a trainee acc. to the end credits lmao) tackling human abduction logistics - "Well, you got the 'leave him inside the house' part right." LOL I'm currently in my UFO/UAP phase again, so this little moment (along w/ that hangar full of retrieved alien spacecrafts) was a treat. This whole abduction storyline continues to simultaneously creep me out and delight me to no end. It's an odd but good feeling, and I'm excited to see how it plays out. FINALLY they made me interested in Ben & Kate again -- already one major improvement over last season.

• Alan Tudyk. In a suit. Thank you.

• the interactions btw Sheriff Mike & Deputy Liv retain their golden status. I just love them.

Mike: Look, there goes a damn government drone watching us right now. Liv: I think that's just some mustard on the window. Mike: That's what they want you to think. You gotta trust no one, Deputy. Head on a swivel. You ain't never really safe until you learn to look behind yourself. Go ahead, watch your back. Go ahead. Do it.

• Kevin and her lil' kitty towel awww

• "I had to stop because of you. I will always have to stop because of you." !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the stuff I'm here for. It reminded me of Hannibal: Tell me, Clarice. Would you ever say to me, "Stop? If you love me, you'd stop"?

The feelings, guys... the feelings I have are MANY and STRONG

but:

In general, Harry's characterization continues to frustrate me. We get a reminder how "going it alone" is hard-wired into his DNA. Even the two Greys are a brief counterpoint to this, presented as a team, supporting each other. But Harry still has to keep re-learning -- or more like re-realizing -- the basic tenet that confiding in Asta is the way to go, and we're already in S3. It just feels needlessly repetitive at this point. And hand-waving his behavior w/ "oh he just has the amorality of a child" is so... thin, such a basic cop-out. I know that emotional maturation is built on a long series of missteps, many repeated ones, but please let some stuff stick already so it can be built upon and keep things fresh. We have seen just how much development Harry's capable of in the character of Goliath. He is the best (a future) version of Harry and I'd really like to see him start moving in that direction now instead of coloring over the same lines ad nauseam.

That being said, the glorious clusterfck that is his relationship with Asta remains to be so fascinating. His alien core keeps crashing against his feelings for her and amidst all my frustration these moments somehow keep hitting the right sweeeet twisted spot for me????? I mean, apparently, he violated the Galactic Federation Charter 3 times already - for her. He def betrayed his own species - for her. First he was willing to save Earth - for her, now he would let the whole planet burn - for her. He then contemplates killing her to stop the fracture of his very being only to screech to a halt by her bed -- all of which is just...... WOW. He is so torn and confused yet so viscerally attached to her. He first calls her his kryptonite, then his Lois Lane. His core instinct is to protect her now and then try to fumble his way back to his mission, which is a complete 180 to how he behaved originally. So we def have development, I just wish they stopped trying to drown this precious nuance in a caricature. We have gold here, writers, let it shine.

[hecatesbroom]

I've been thinking A Lot about how Dorothy apparently wanted to open an antiques shop and uh, a little AU might've sprung forth from it. I present:

Golden Girls antiques shop AU

After divorcing Stan, Dorothy opens up her own antiques shop (let's keep it in Miami because that's just easier lol)

Sophia still burns down Shady Pines has to move in with Dorothy at some point, so she also helps with the shop. Much to Dorothy's frustration because all she really does is scare off customers by threatening them (admittedly with increasing creativity) when they attempt to haggle.

Sophia also glares at people when she thinks they might be stealing stuff (they usually aren't, but to her credit, she's caught and handled at least two real thieves. Never mind the poor, bruised, innocent people who received the same treatment)

Blanche, who already lives with Rose (they've been roommates for about 6 months), often stops by to see if Dorothy has any new paintings. Working for the museum, Blanche likes to stop by antiques shops from time to time to see if anything valuable pops up.

Dorothy's shop is Blanche's favourite by far. Not because she actually finds anything there (Dorothy doesn't even have a lot of paintings to begin with) but because she loves its owner.

She's not quite prepared to say how much she loves its owner, but suffice to say she would've been able to get herself invited to dinner (at the very least) if Dorothy had been a man.

So Blanche stops by very very frequently. They talk a lot.

Dorothy feels like strangely enough, Blanche is the only person she's ever been really open to about her divorce, since it happened 2 years ago.

Dorothy keeps any paintings she does receive in storage until Blanche has seen them, before puts them in the shop. Just in case there's one she does want for the museum this time.

Blanche starts bringing Rose along, because Rose wants to meet this really nice lady at the antiques shop herself. She's brought cookies (the cookies are tooth-shatteringly sweet, but then so is Rose, and Dorothy can't help but love her for it)

Rose shows up more often by herself, because the shop is on her way to the counseling center and she likes Dorothy and Sophia's company. She tells them St Olaf stories (Sophia tries to usher her out the moment she gets the St Olaf Story Look™ on her face, to no avail)

At some point Dorothy needs an assistant in the store who won't scare off customers. She shares this with Blanche, who suggests hiring Rose, who was told only a week ago that the grief counseling center is going bankrupt.

Dorothy's unsure about this, initially. I mean, could you see Rose working in a store? She might give away everything for free! But she feels bad about her being without a job, and if she's really honest with herself, she knows she'll miss Rose's company when she stops dropping by on her way to work.

When Rose starts to work in the shop, she turns out to be shockingly good at her job. Dorothy has no idea how she does it, but when people haggle with her, Rose somehow ends up getting paid more for the item than it initially cost.

When asked about this, Rose brushes it off with a simple "I sold waffles by the side of the road as a kid"-story (Sophia doesn't cut her off this time because she wants to know if Rose will disclose how, exactly, she learned to haggle that way. But the story ends without a point, as always)

In fact, the store is busier than ever. Rose brings homemade cookies or pie to work every day that she shares with everyone who visits. And she's so nice to people they just keep coming back, and bringing friends. Even Sophia can't chase them off anymore.

Dorothy wonders, at some point, if she ought to turn her shop into a café.

(she doesn't. there's no way Rose is ever going to charge money for the food she brings to work)

Blanche drops by basically every day after work at the museum at this point, for a chat and (more and more frequently) to have dinner at Dorothy's. Sophia's a great cook after all, and Blanche and Rose rarely get the chance to cook a warm meal for themselves after work.

It's been about a year since Rose started working for Dorothy, when Dorothy develops CFS. Rose and Sophia step in and run the store together for a while, with Blanche helping out whenever she can (she usually comes in to do household chores, but considering she actually hates those, mostly ends up talking to Dorothy for a couple of hours about her dates instead. At least the sentiment is nice)

But when it's been almost a month and Dorothy shows no signs of getting better, their concern about both Dorothy and their situation grows. They need help, medically and in the store, but they can't afford that on top of the rent Dorothy pays for her own house.

Blanche offers the solution before anyone else can think of an alternative: "Why, it's very simple. You two just move in with us!"

Sophia protests about moving in with Rose of all people ("You're crazy if you think I'm willing to live with that moron! As if working with her isn't enough!") because she probably feels at least as bad about this as Dorothy.

Seeing as there's no other choice they decide to move in with Rose and Blanche. This works out even better than expected for all four of them

Dorothy goes through the whole diagnosis stuff we've seen in the show and doesn't miraculously heal between episodes, but she improves slowly with the help of her friends to the point where she can work part-time again

They keep a very comfortable chair (with one of those adjustable backrests so you can kind of lie down on it?) in the store for Dorothy so she can rest at work, if she needs it

ANYWAY they slowly start to realise how much they mean to each other and just how lucky they are to be together

Blanche keeps working at the museum because she loves that job (and also they don't really need someone else to help in the shop now that Dorothy's back part time, so financially it's a lot more secure if Blanche keeps another job unrelated to the shop)

Rose gets to bake sickeningly sweet stuff every day and befriends all the kids near the shop because of it (Dorothy tells her she should've opened a bakery)

Dorothy realises just how lucky she is to finally be living with people who make her feel better about herself and her life. Finally she lives with people she doesn't just have to put up with, but whom she genuinely loves

Sophia, who loves them a lot more than she lets on, decides Blanche and Rose are her daughters now too. Turns out she was kind of predicting the future with that because obviously Rose, Blanche, and Dorothy get married at some point

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Today’s replies! Mostly related to some of the previously posted comics and drawings.

But starting with an ask that isn’t related to our stuff!

Anonymous asked:

Ryuichi, did you see Azul's new birthday card, Platinum Jacket?!

Yes! He looks great, especially the Groovy card qwq

To be honest, this year’s birthday set/theme isn’t the most exciting (I just really loved the broomquets), but Azul’s card is very good.

Anonymous asked:

"To the VDC group,

let me welcome you once more into the halls of our dorm. With your combined efforts and talents you will surely make our college shine at the VDC, and here at Ramshackle we're glad to be able to help you in any way we can. I must however bring to your attention some unseemly behaviour that... sorry, I can't keep this up anymore, so let's get to the point: please stop treating the dorm like some cheap themed love hotel.

I understand you all have your reasons, whether it's because you get frustrated thinking about your rival and need an outlet, or because you think sex will help you fix your broken marriage, or simply because you're too  much of a wimp to say no to Ace. I get that, but I can only tell Grim that this racket is the ghosts' fault so many times, and I really am not ready to give him the Talk... So please, have mercy...

The Prefect"

Do you think something like this might have happened?

(this ask and the next one are related to this comic)

LOL ANON this is exactly what would’ve happened, the only difference is that Vil is abstaining from sex until the whole thing is over, and if he can’t have sex, no one can. So Yuu shouldn’t even worry about confronting everyone about this, because Vil is going to do it for them lol Ace and Deuce specifically will get scolded for disrespecting the Prefect’s hospitality and acting so indecently.

Poor Deuce… he really can’t say no to Ace and now he’s getting scolded too 😔 So embarrassing.

Anonymous asked:

epel has to seduce the competition then

Let’s hope he absorbs all the unresolved sexual tension of his bandmates like a sponge and marinates in it until the day he sees Neige… wait, that wouldn’t work, it’ll just make Epel horny lol

Anonymous asked:

Your deuce look like a beautiful butch lesbian in that skirt and i love this so much. You're the only one who can get me to love how he looks fr fr

(this ask is related to this drawing)

Butch lesbian omg…

Aw come on Anon, it’s just Deuce being his adorable self, I can’t take credit for that~ He’s always cute!

Anonymous asked:

Idia in a short little skirt. Lilia probities him into it. Lilia will probably also randomly flip it up much to Idia’s horror.

If Lilia sees a skirt on a cute boy, he flips it. This is the rule. It’s his instinct, his nature, his philosophy.

Stay strong, Idia… His long-ass legs would look so nice if he wore a skirt. He really should. And then instantly get attacked by this pervy grandpa lol

Anonymous asked:

Have you and katsu ever heard of the new show "Hazbin Hotel"?  it's basically without spoiling anything a Musical Black comedy drama show that plays in Hell, and it has its dark moments. I figured you two might like it, so i would definitely recommend it.

We have heard of it! It’s pretty impossible to avoid right now lol, especially with all the jp artists suddenly getting into it and drawing a lot of amazing fanart. It’s very amusing to look at…

Thank you for recommending it to us, Anon! We’re not planning to watch it for now and aren’t really sure that it would click with us (if that makes sense), but we do like black comedy a lot + I’m glad the themes of the show made you think of us!

[tallulah477]

loving how fleshed out this royalty au is getting KFNFNFDN and see i cant be descriptive like u my brain cant do all that LMFAO i love ur writing style for this and overall

but oml i imagine their first time would be after a heated argument its midnight everyone but the guards and a few employees are asleep and here loak and princess!reader are having a huge argument (basically a lot of confessing of how they both didnt want this marriage to be a thing stuff like that) and theres a quick pause between them bc theyre catching their breaths from arguing sm and they just start full on making out though princess!reader is super inexperienced and os trying to keep up with loak whose had a few one night stands here and there

loak telling her how pretty she looks pissed off at him (and everyone), how no one would put up with her attitude (not even neteyam) but him bc he finds it hot lw — meanwhile her brain is malfunctioning bc hes touching her everywhere and its getting her all hot

and when they do start fucking? as much as i would like for him to be put in her place for being a brat i 100% believe he would be super soft (yet still dominate) their first time, loak who already has had a few ons and is usually just there to fuck and dip actually takes his time with his future wife

eating her out, fingering her trying to stretch her out to fit him while his other hand was on her stomache to pin her down and shes covering her mouth so they wont get caught

and when he puts it in he goes slow, watching her reaction, kissing her temple, cheeks, eyelids anywhere saying shes taking him so well, how she was made for him, how he cant wait to have more nights like this with her - lots of praises which she cant handle bc shes not use too it and shes getting all flustered as shes getting fucked lol her nails digging into his forearms or going down his back - her eyes rolling to the back if her head bc he feels so good and so full

and loak making out with her so she wont moan too loud (he doesnt really care if they caught but she knows her reputation within high society is kind of bad so anything to avoid a scandal for his future wife <333)

— 🤍

The way this past week has kept me so busy and all I could think about was your asks 😩 😩 😩

Me too, babes! I’m living for this AU lmao. Idk though, you seem like you’re doing a great job at being descriptive 👀 but I’m glad that you’re liking my input. I think we make a good team!

Everyone knows you’re the mastermind behind this AU though, I’m just here for the ride lol 🧡

Catch up on the story:

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Extra: One | Two

CW:// Smut

Their emotions are so high!

This has been a long time coming - it's been nearly a year of back and forth. Nearly a year of glaring, of snide comments and sneering remarks as they're forced together 'for the good of the kingdom'. Nearly a year of heated arguments and even more heated glances that catch on the a long column of throat or the swell of a breast.

It's getting close to that time when Jake and Neytiri are set to step down from the throne. Both Lo'ak and Princess are old enough to take their place. Princess has been trained her whole life for this, she's ready - knows the ins and outs of royal life and how to handle foreign dignitaries and council issues without even having to bat her perfectly curled eyelashes. Lo'ak, on the other hand . . . well, he's good enough. He still learning; it will take YEARS for him to fully learn everything that Neteyam had been taught to do and handle since the moment he was born. But he's getting there - he's much smarter and more capable than his parents or Princess ever give him credit for.

But it's still intense. Nerves are getting the better of them, their anxiety is through the roof. The stress that they're going to fuck up somehow is making them worried and frustrated and they're snapping at each other even more than usual. If Lo'ak messes up, it's going to be proof to him and his parents (and the entire kingdom) that he will never be as good as his brother, and he hates that he can't even go one day without being compared to Neteyam. If Princess messes up, her life is over. Lo'ak would be upset if he messed up, but he would be okay. But she's a woman, and worse - she's a woman trying to maintain a position of power. She already has people rooting for her to fail. If this goes south for her, just one mess up, and she's done.

So they're both not feeling their best when they return to their rooms after their official engagement ball. They were paraded around, told to be quiet, to stick to the speeches written for them, to "Smile, for God's sake! Can you at least act like you like each other?"

The were forced to roam the ballroom, arm and arm, large smiles plastered on their faces as they talk to important person after important person, answering the same questions over and over and over again.

"Are you excited? You should feel very blessed,"

"How do you feel stepping into your brother's shoes?"

"Have you heard from Prince Neteyam at all?"

"Is it true he ran away with a maid?"

"How long after your marriage and coronation can we expect an heir?"

They danced together, bodies moving to the rhythm of the perfectly performed orchestra as they twirl together almost seamlessly across the shiny ballroom floor. Their eyes don't leave each other as they dance, spinning to the music and seeming to notice nothing else around them except for each other before the coda plays and the dance comes to an end. They bow and curtsey respectively, eyes narrowing briefly at the other as they both try to push the annoying thought of how effortless the entire piece was and what that might signify.

Lo'ak's not in his room for five minutes when a knock on the door sounds. He's still in his fancy clothes, and the only thing he's managed to remove is his waistcoat. He's still working on unbuttoning his ruffled shirt when Princess's maid enters his bedchamber.

"My Prince, my Princess is requesting your presence,"

Lo'ak frowns. "For what?"

"She would like to discuss with you some matters regarding tomorrow's meeting with the council members,"

"No," Lo'ak scoffs. "I'm tired. We can talk tomorrow."

The older woman nods, understanding. "Yes, my Prince. However, my Lady does want me to insist and remind you that she has been training for this life far longer than you have and it is within your best interest to heed her suggestions,"

Lo'ak's hands drop from his shirt, a deep growl bursting from his throat at the slight coming from an infuriating girl currently located across the castle. He barrels past the maid, cutting through hallways until he's outside Princess's door. His knock is rough and angry, and she's still in her ball gown when she answers, a small smirk playing at her lips with a cocky, "Oh, good. You're here,"

"You summoned me?"

She has about two seconds to gloat and take pride in his pissed off expression before he's yelling at her. Harsh words spill from his lips - "you're a spoiled brat" "you're nothing without me" "You wouldn't have this chance anymore since Neteyam left if not for me,". The words aren't new, he's said them before - but this time they hit harder, and her carefully crafted visage of complete emotional stability and self control come crumbling down around them.

She's yelling at him back, interrupting his scathing words and spitting her own about how he'll never be like his brother, how if she leaves then it will be on him to look as a failure in front of his father, how she doesn't even want this marriage, never wanted it, but she has to if she ever wants any kind of a life.

They're both breathing heavy when the yelling stops, glaring daggers at each other as they try to calm their breathing. She can't help when her eyes trail down to his torso, taking in the fully unbuttoned shirt hanging open around his muscular chest, mixed metal necklaces contrasting nicely against his dark skin. His eyes are on her too, locked onto the soft swell of her breasts heaving in the tight corset top of her dress.

It's pure instinct as they come together, neither one making the active decision to lunge forward and press their lips together. Yet, here they are - in the middle of the quiet hallway, Lo'ak gripping Princess's face in his hands as her own latch onto the strong muscles of his arms through his frilly shirt.

Lo'ak's mouth on hers is sure and practiced, moving against hers with the expertise of someone who has had his fair share of women. He licks at the seam of her own trembling lips, letting out a soft breath at the shaky moan he receives for his efforts and bites gently at her plump bottom lip.

Princess's head is reeling, nervousness and desire pooling in her chest and making her shake against him. She doesn't know what she's doing, and it shows through her inexperience as she desperately tries to keep up with Lo'ak as his tongue curls against hers. And, despite the heated screaming match that brought them to this point, he's surprisingly gentle with her.

It's only when they part, just enough for them to breath, that Princess realizes they're now alone in her room. At some point during their kissing, Lo'ak must have walked them in and closed the door behind them, shielding them from any prying eyes who may have stumbled upon them even in the dead of night. She feels something build in her heart at the realization he did it for her.

She doesn't expect to lose her virginity that night. She always thought it would happen on her wedding day and even then it would be something that she has to do - an obligation that comes with the role of a future Queen. She's never wanted someone like that before.

But here with Lo'ak, it's different. He's looking at her, head tilted down as she stares up at him, his dark eyes boring into hers so dark she can practically see her own flushed reflection starting back at her. And she wants.

And then they're kissing again, slow and gentle and oh so good. Her hands slide up the flat planes of his stomach, fingertips caressing the soft skin so lightly as she drags them up and around that they tickle his ribs. His hands are back on her face, large palms cradling her cheeks, thumbs dragging slowly under her eyes as she sighs into his mouth.

Without thinking, her hands push off his opened shirt, sliding the fabric from his shoulders. His lips move down to her neck, kissing at the delicate skin and sucking on her hammering pulse point as she gasps. His hands move to the back of her dress, playing with the zigzagging ties and loosening them up with skilled fingers. She holds her breath as her dress slides off, self-consciously avoiding Lo'ak's gaze as he marvels at her naked body.

"You're so beautiful," He whispers, breathless, and she knows he means it.

He prepares her properly, like a true gentleman. Licking up her juices as he eats her out, sucking on her clit to hear her pretty moans but biting on her thigh in reprimand when she gets too loud. His tongue dips inside her and her thighs squeeze his head as she shoves her hand over her own mouth in an effort to quiet herself.

He makes her cum twice before he even gets his pants off. Once on his tongue, his eyes rolling back into his head at the taste of her orgasm, and once on his fingers, carefully pushing them into her drenched cunt, mindful of the fact that she's nervous and definitely hasn't done this before. His fingers curl inside her, thumb playing with her clit as he stretches her out to take his cock, whispering sweet praises in her ear about how perfect she is, how she's so fucking beautiful when she's angry and how hot he gets for her when she's pissed at him.

And when he pushes inside her, groaning in pleasure at the feel of her wet, warm walls hugging his cock, he kisses the tears from her face and praises her more. He tells her how he's dreamed about her, how she's doing such a good job, being such a good girl for him and taking him so well. He starts up a slow tempo, a gentle rocking of his hips against hers as he moves inside her, cock dragging against her gummy walls as she whines and moans, nails digging into his back as she tries to pull him even closer, overwhelmed by the very feel of him. She feels so good, so full - so so full. His cock is so deep inside her, rubbing a special spot inside her that she didn't know she had but makes her see stars.

"You wouldn't have been happy with Neteyam," He moans, and he shocks himself with how quickly the realization hits him. "You were made for me,"

(HELP the way this is long enough to be an actual fic lmao)

(Side note: what does lw mean?? Cannot for the life of me figure it out 😂)

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

Hi!!!

New Fiona fan here! But I suppose from what I have read here I should say early seasons Fiona fan?

I watched the uk version years ago and only just started the US one, and I'm only up to season 3.

I went binge reading on ao3 and your fics are golden! Top shelf quality writing, Fiona centric, gut wrenching stuff. I think you are one of, if not the only writers in the Fandom that do her justice.

And give her the credit she deserves.

So....

I have two questions for you, if you feel like answering: in your opinion, which was Fiona's worst self sabotaging instance?

And, does she ever go past the point of no return?

Mind you, I don't much care if there are spoilers in the answers, but the questions are being asked by someone who has watched (as of last night) up to season 3 episode 10ish

hi there! SO sorry for getting back to you so late; i'm finally out of finals hell and can get back to my inbox :)

thank you so much for your kind words! you are so so sweet and i'm genuinely so shocked and happy that my silly little stories resonate with you. thank you for reading !!! <3

i unfortunately will have to spoil quite a bit to answer your questions, but here are my thoughts!

i think fiona's worst self-sabotaging moment comes in season four, when she cheats on her then-boyfriend/boss mike with his brother robbie (who is on-and-off on drugs). he spends several episodes doggedly pursuing her, to kind of a creepy extent, but fiona still seems to find him alluring. she also feels 'safer' with him than mike, which is ironic since mike is the sweetest, most upstanding, kind guy in her life; this seems to be because mike's 'normalcy' scares her, and she admits herself that she doesn't know how to be with him because she's not 'good enough' or 'normal enough' for him. anyways. fiona cheats, gets caught, gets transferred to a different position at her job, is ostracized by her friends and coworkers, and her life comes crashing down. this leads her to end up receiving cocaine from robbie as a 'birthday gift.' fiona leaves it on the table while she's celebrating that night. baby liam gets into it and accidentally puts it in his mouth and overdoses and almost dies. fiona's negligence hurts her baby and she goes to prison. this moment was so so sad and heartbreaking and frustrating for me because she had this really amazing guy but self-sabotaged her own relationship because of her fear of intimacy/normalcy/having good things in her life, and it lead to this huge, terrible spiral that completely shattered her life. she could never have imagined/expected it to go that far, of course, but the fact remains that all of this unfortunately stemmed from her infidelity. season four makes me sob and cry every single time i watch it. fiona's devastating mistake led to some of her worst fears: hurting her kids, losing her stability for them, and having to leave her siblings behind. ughhhhhh, fiona!!!

this is a hard one to answer. i think so many of fiona's mistakes and poor decisions are things i would find unforgivable in real life, but because of the way the narrative of shameless unfolds and the reasoning behind her decisions make me more empathetic towards her. (and also, i love her so i have to admit that i'm biased lol). obviously, liam getting into her coke was an honest mistake, but it still stemmed from her irresponsibility. so although i feel absolutely terrible for her, i just can't see myself being able to forgive her if i was one of her siblings. she also kicks debbie out in season five for getting pregnant, which... i can understand the feelings behind her decision, that doesn't make it morally okay to do something like that to a teenage kid you're supposed to take care of. but i still don't think these are decisions that put her past the point of no return; i think fiona truly goes off the deep end in season nine. her whole life comes crashing down around her (AGAIN) because of some circumstances surrounding her work and love life (this guy named sean) that i do honestly think were out of her control (becoming a landlord notwithstanding). poor fiona spirals into alcoholism as a result. i don't want to demonize her for struggling with addiction, especially as it runs in her family, but this causes her family to essentially give up on her/abandon her. lip kicks her out of the house. fiona decides to leave chicago altogether. i think this was her true 'point of no return' because it showed her that she literally could not return to her old life; in fact, she needed to leave in order to save herself. she could never go back to being the kids' old, familiar fiona, because she had changed too much, and the kids could never accept her for who she had become. she could never go back. so she had to leave.

so sorry for writing you an absolute essay of a response! please forgive me for rambling so much. thank you for reaching out with these questions; as you can see, i had great fun answering them :^)

much love! <3

[rouge-fauna]

I wanted to ask you, do you have any advise in making meta analisys? I'm interested in making some analysis on the dsmp lore once i finish the lore and start watching the vod closely. But i feel kind of intimidated by seeing how people can be rude to each other when talking about the lore and a bit lost on how to interact with other's analisys. And wanted to know if you have any advise for people who want to start on the meta analysis part of the fandom?

Well, I'd hardly call myself an expert since well... I'm not exactly one of the ogs here and I'm getting the impression there are many people here who don't exactly like what I have to say, but you ask so I'll give you my two cents and hope I don't lead you a stray.

You will probably notice a variety of how people go about their analysis. I wouldn't say there is a right or wrong way, it's not like we are professionals or anything, we are just having fun looking at a story and its elements. Some people take that too seriously, which is unfortunate since at the end of the day we are talking about characters of some Minecraft roleplay series. But it's easy in a writing format to come across the wrong way and make people feel attacked, because there isn't tone or body language and stuff.

Anyways, here are I guess some of the things I keep in mind.

There is a difference in fact and opinion, and just because I see things a certain way doesn't make it fact or the other person wrong, so the way I make sure to highlight this is through statements like - "the way I see it" "in my mind" "in my opinion" "personally I see it as" "I think" "I feel like" "It is interesting to me"... etc phrases to emphasize that this is my opinion, but that is not the end all be all. I also like to include plenty of "perhaps" "maybe" "I don't knows" and legitimate questions in there. I do this to hopefully open it up to say - hey this is how I see it - which hopefully comes across as less as me correcting them but just adding thoughts. One of the things that frustrates me sometimes, is that I see people say things as if they just are facts and true when they aren't necessarily. Something that further frustrates me when no evidence or way for me to see for myself is provided. Which is why I also try to provide, links, clips, quotes and stuff so people don't have to just take my word for it. Not to say I am always great about doing this or that it is always required, there are some things that are just more wildly known so it's not needed to cite everything. My rule of thumb for this is if it's more obscure or not common knowledge, so whether it's word specific, a scene not talked about, an like an academic source (or if I just so happen to have it clipped or written down lol XD). Not that you have to do either of those things of course, it's very much up to you how you want to do it, this is just how I do it because my autism engineer ass likes the facts and the why and how of things. Like if you say 'c!Dream's hair is green' I'm like - okay, that's an opinion, good for you - but if you say 'I think Dream's hair is green and this is why', then I'm a lot more interested in what you have to say, but again that's just me. It is worth noting also, that I'd say don't insult someone's intelligence or person because of something they said about a Minecraft boy at 3am ya know? Try to avoid being derogatory or nasty. You don't have to respect their opinion or agree, but you should respect them as a person, a person with the right to say something on the internet without being bashed because people don't like it. I would say it is better to say I think 'this take is dumb', not 'you are dumb' because of this take (though also probably best to avoid dumb in general as it is kinda derogatory and rude but hopefully you get the gist). It can also be nice to highlight something you agree with or liked that the other person said to make sure you're not being all negative and give them credit when you are agreeing and adding to a statement so they don't think you are correcting them.

Other things I do, to hopefully not come across aggressive is not using all caps or exclamation points - cuz in my mind I'm like why are you yelling at me ya know :( - I prefer italics and bold and sometimes capitalizing words, but that's just how I do it because I noticed that those things make me feel attacked whether or not that person meant it that way. Sometimes people will straight up say they are done, but sometimes it may be is less directly, so in general I'd say if the other person doesn't seem to want to engage further or has conceded in any way, big or small, they are probably done talking about it. When you go past that mark, then they will definitely feel more like they're being attacked (I think this is one of the things I run into with asks as I feel done, but they continue it on (which of course I know why, they may not have gotten to share their points on the matter yet or whatever) and I'm always torn on whether to continue, because I may also just feel tired of talking about it). I'd say also either ask them permission directly or in your response, like sometimes I'll say - "I hope it's okay if I add on" because that person may not want to engage. And if it's about direct statements or arguments, then make sure the other person is made aware, like if I'm responding to tags I try and tag that person. Or if I am building off of what someone said in a different direction I might also tag them, or go to their ask box, go to the comments, or whatever. It doesn't feel good to have people pick apart what you said without being given a chance to defend yourself. Assume the best in people, they may not be trying to be a certain way, and the way you read something may not be the way they meant and I'd say it's always better to ask for clarification then take something the wrong way. (I'd say that genrally about real life too - like if you don't know a word someone is using, ask them to define or clarify, to most people it shows you are actually listening so they are more than happy to explain)

General rule - be respectful and kind, remember to not take things too seriously cuz we are talking about characters after all. We are all here to engage in something we love. <3

Also in regards to analysis and lore, I'd say be aware of bias and context and assumptions, keeping in mind are you looking at something from a character's point of view or an outsider.

[jessjustplay]

I finished (the main story of) God of War!

September 22, 2024

I saw the credits roll after I wrapped up the main story of God of War last night. I wanted to see the story play out so I focused on the main story tasks list. I'm glad I did because now I feel like I have "freedom" to just wander around completing side-quest stuff. Which I plan on doing, eventually.

God of War is definitely a good game. I had a lot of fun with the battles, they were fast and chaotic (in a fun way). Aiming Atreus's arrow was hard at first, but you get used to it. Fighting with the ax, barehanded, and then with the blades was beyond cool.

The one battle-related thing I regret is activating a skill that stopped me from recalling the ax over and over. It was frustrating when Kratos would start attacking with the ax instead of staying put. That's not what I want! Before activating the skill (I have no idea which one it was), I was able to stay in the same spot and throw the ax then recall it without issue, over and over. The good ol' days.

Mimir was a great addition to the team. I liked his accent and his funny comments. I liked that he called Kratos "Brother" and Atreus "Little Brother." The dwarves were funny, but at the very end I noticed this was very much a "Bro" game. So many guys, with the exception of one woman (Freya) who is portrayed as a mad woman at the end. Fun. So cool. We love to see it. [sarcasm]

Endgame stats!

There isn't any EXP in this game, so it seemed like the only way I was "leveling up" was by crafting and upgrading equipment. Which is fine, I guess, but I definitely prefer EXP or AP or some sort of system where fighting = leveling up.

Commentary/Thoughts:

After Freya saved Atreus, he was giving Kratos a bit of the silent treatment. I like that Kratos acknowledged the silence.

Nice little detail here.

And this was just silly. Very cute.

Shout out to the game devs for giving me anxiety with these puzzles.

Atreus lost his mother's knife saving Kratos, so it was nice that Kratos gave him a new one. One that he made for himself and for his son. Cute.

After Atreus learned he was a god, he got a major attitude! It was really interesting to see himself get such a big ego from learning what he is. I think even Kratos was shocked and worried about the attitude change. It was quite touching to see Kratos attribute Atreus's goodness to his mother, saying something along the lines of "You will honor your mother" when telling him to be better.

It was cute to see Sindri and Brok back together. Sibling love is interesting!

Same, Mimir. Same.

This part reminded me of being inside that whale in Kingdom Hearts. lol

This dude's whole story is about "feeling" anger that he can't feel anything (except anger, I guess!). Which I find very interesting. Reminds me of Tales of Berseria and how Velvet would say that feeling pain is a sign you're alive.

Also! I'm glad the green arrows finally came into play. Ever since Freya took them from Atreus and called them wicked, I was like, "What the heck?? WHY? I need more info!?" Sindri gave them to us, which made me distrust him for awhile. It makes sense now that she didn't like them because she knew they could break the spell on Baldur. Smh.

Not a fan of Freya being portrayed as a mad woman at the end. I mentioned at the beginning of this post that this game is very much a "Bro" game, as in, there are a lot of male characters. So to see the one woman in the game get overwhelmed and overcome by her emotions sucked.

However, Kratos said he understood her behavior and that he would also do the same (choose to die if it meant to save Atreus) which I think was a good detail to include. If this declaration from Kratos had not been included, it would have been too easy to dismiss Freya as a wild woman full of uncontrollable emotions, but having Kratos say that he would do the same makes her actions seem understandable, but I still think unreasonable.

Atreus is a good kid right now, so if Kratos died to save him, it would make sense. But Baldur was not a good person, and if Atreus turns "bad", then it also would not make sense for Kratos to save him either. I think Freya was in the wrong for wanting to save Baldur, yes even though he is her son. He wanted to kill her! Surely that is a sign there is something unhinged in your child's brain, heart, soul!? (shrugs)

I'm interested to see if she shows up in the next game.

At least Mimir seems to agree with me that it doesn't make a lot of sense.

So as far as the ending, I like the reveal of the mom actually being a Giant. Atreus is both god and Giant... interesting! This quick look at this mural in particular is also intriguing. To me, it looks like a snake coming out of Atreus's mouth and possibly connected to Kratos. Maybe it represents a circle or never-ending cycle, but who knows.

When Kratos killed Baldur, he said the cycle ends there. Kratos killed his father, and apparently this happens a lot with the gods lol. So it'll be interesting if this is Atreus killing Kratos or just him holding a dead Kratos, or if this even happens at all? I DONT KNOW. (I'm also not a pro on Greek or Nordic mythology.)

Cute little moment, he called him "Son" directly.

And this was interesting. Atreus is Loki??? Not sure how that will play out. They don't seem to like Odin or Thor in this world, who are portrayed positively in the Marvel universe while Loki is portrayed as a mischievous god, so... will Loki have good qualities in this game? I mean, so far he does. But again, I DONT KNOW.

Yeah I'm not doing a New Game+ any time soon, but like I said at the beginning of this post, I would like to revisit this game to do some of the side stuff that I didn't finish. I did fight one Valkyrie, but I kept dying at the very end each time. Maybe Kratos needs more HP because I got really close to killing the Valkyrie, I just couldn't find any green heals to stay alive.

Overall, a good game! I'm counting this as a "Finished" game because the credits rolled. I do not Platinum games because I do not care about digital trophies lol.