#just made me feel like i was back in 2016 again. felt kinda childish

[hellhoundlair]

saw a callout post today where at the top of the list of their many crimes was "liked an nsfw photo of a minor on twitter" which made them sound like a closeted sex offender and not like someone who liked one suggestive DRAWING of a teenage cartoon character. Come on man.

[buckyswinterbaby]

Always By My Side — Chapter 1

Click here to read the Prologue.

Synopsis: The fates have spent millenniums correcting the daily mishaps that interfere with soulmates ever meeting. Will they find a way to bring together Bucky and Zara, two people separated by time and circumstance, just as they’ve done a thousand times before?

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Black!OFC Ziarah Heartwell

Warnings (will change with each chapter): flashbacks, PTSD, mentions of past sexual assault, angst, bits of fluff

Word Count: 3,791

Acknowledgement: I’ve created this AU alongside my best friend Taylor in roleplays, along with many of the plots and scenes that will be featured. I’m posting this with his expressed permission as we both continue to work on the story in our chat. Credit for its creation goes to both of us.

Please like, comment, and reblog (I love that shit). The divider was created by me, please credit me if you use it. The gifs are not mine. Click here to fill out the form to be added to my tag list!

Note: Here’s chapter one of my new series “Always By My Side”. It takes place in a soulmate AU where a bond is triggered when one or both halves experience a life threatening level of distress. The bond allows them to see imaginary versions of their soulmates to help support them while they wait to meet their other half. Just a warning, up until we reach the current time in the story, there will be significant time skips for plot progression’s sake. The time changes will always be labeled.

Addition: I said I’d tag you when I posted my WOC OFC story so here’s chapter one, @bucky-the-thigh-slayer !

[Bucharest, Romania -- 2016]

The Romanian streets were bustling with early morning energy as Bucky took the final steps outside of the clearly worn apartment complex that he had been calling home for sometime. He seemed unfazed by the sixteen year old girl practically jogging to keep up in step with his longer strides. He had grown rather accustomed to her presence and her commentary since she first appeared to him in 2014. It had been during his final brainwashing session with Hydra before they fell. He couldn’t help but view her as a banshee of sorts, harkening the end of what remained of his mental stability. He couldn’t fathom another reason as to why he would hallucinate an opinionated teenage girl.

Even so, he found comfort in their conversations and how at ease she seemed around him. Almost as if she had always been with him, a piece of himself that still saw the good that was left. Never addressing him with fear or apprehension, never as the monster and killer he was forced to become.

Her features were young and innocent, seemingly unscarred by life despite the bruises that graced her skin--which he was never sure why they existed. At first, he feared that she had been one of his countless victims who had returned to haunt him in her afterlife, though the theory became less likely to him as more time passed.

The defined coils of her hair were pushed up into a messy bun, edges laid smoothly to her forehead in defined loops. When she first started showing up, Bucky had attempted to make sense of the witty phrases and references that so frequently adorned her clothes but he had long since given up on ever understanding them. He had to admit that the shirt she wore that day, a middle finger painted with pink, yellow, and blue, was quite the fashion choice. Not that he could particularly judge with his similar pieces of clothing that were practically identical besides in color.

The pair made their way down the familiar stretch of pavement on their way to the outdoor market that Bucky had made a habit of visiting. He had found that a reliable schedule throughout his week helped him better grasp the passing of time, a fact that his companion had been informing him of for weeks before it finally seemed to click.

The girl’s nose clinked as they neared the fresh fish stand, just as it did every week. Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle at her childish antics as they were so few and far between for someone who seemed quite mature despite her appearance.

“It smells like cat food,” she whined, making a clear act of breathing primarily through her mouth as she jogged to keep up. “How are you not gagging?”

“Not all of us have the luxury of being a figment of someone’s imagination, Zara. If I start gagging, I have a feeling a few people will start to notice.” The man gave her a knowing look. Drawing attention to himself was the exact opposite of what he wanted during his brief outings. “Besides, I can’t say I’ve smelt cat food or have any intention to. So I’ll just have to take your word for it.”

Zara rolled her eyes as the smell began to dissipate the further they moved past the stand, her trademark smile working its way onto her features. “Could’ve had me fooled, I thought that was your guilty pleasure. I can’t say I’ve ever intentionally gotten a whiff, but when I feed the outdoor cats at my house, it’s kinda unavoidable.” She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as if it was the most natural thing in the world for an imaginary person to have their own home and animals.

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed as he narrowed his eyes down to her smaller form beside him. “You don’t have a cat because you aren’t even real,” he retorted. Somehow the idea that she could be real made her presence in his life even harder. The idea that she was just some girl he had passed by in the street or on a mission and his brain decided she’d make the ideal emotional support apparition.

“Who are you to declare that?”

“The creepy hundred year old man who hallucinates a sixteen year old girl, occasionally in her pajamas, for one.” His voice raised a bit louder than he intended, drawing the attention of a few nearby pedestrians. Bucky offered them an awkward smile before ducking back down under the bill of his hat and picking up his pace a bit. She couldn’t argue with his logic so she focused on keeping up until they reached their destination, the produce stand that had the best plums in the city, or so Bucky described.

Zara watched as he spoke Romanian with the merchant, only catching a few words she had learnt over the past few months from their conversations. She couldn’t help but smile at how effortlessly Bucky seemed to interact with the man and how it contrasted so starkly to how he acted when he first arrived in the city. Decades of next to no positive human interaction left the soldier awkward and clunky in his exchanges, often stumbling through questions and requests, or simply forgetting them altogether. It had taken a great deal of patience and metaphorical hand holding to build up his confidence and ease his anxiety on the matter.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to blend in, in fact he was almost too good at it at times. Over their conversations, she had managed to show him that yes, blending in made him go through the motions of life, which was better than nothing. Yet, the beauty of his life now and the freedom that came with it was that he no longer had to settle for simply surviving and he could instead use it as a chance to learn to live again. It started small, like convincing him to get a pillow and blanket for the mattress on the floor, to which they compromised with a sleeping bag. Soon came two pillows for the couch and a lone floor lamp that he shoved in the corner near his bed for the late nights when night terrors had him scribbling away in his journals. They were minor improvements, in truth, but the progress spoke volumes as Bucky worked on building a place that felt a bit more permanent than his last few hideouts.

Zara had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t even registered that Bucky completed his purchase and had moved to stand at the edge of the sidewalk. She approached him curiously, watching the way he hesitantly analyzed the seemingly anxious newspaper peddler from across the street. It was very clear something was wrong from the way his demeanor had changed.

“Buchanan?” Her voice raised a bit at the end of his name, concern now replacing her curiosity as he began to make his way to the stand. He either didn’t hear her--which she found unlikely--or he simply opted to ignore her as he picked up the paper, ocean blue eyes scanning over the headline. The color seemed to drain from both of their faces as they took the accusation in, not having to speak to know what it meant.

Bucky would have to pick up his life, yet again, and run. Find a new country, new home, and start the process all over again. The ex-assassin hardly seemed surprised at the realization, as there is no rest for the wicked.

[Boston, Massachusetts -- 2016]

Zara made her way down the hallway to her bedroom, an imaginary version of Bucky trailing along behind her. She let her book bag drop to the floor once she entered the room, stepping out of her shoes before flopping down onto the soft, sunflower themed duvet of her bed. A look of weightlessness overtook her features as she let the events of the day settle in. Today she would graduate with a PhD in Biomedical Engineering from MIT, top of her class. It was the culmination of years of pouring herself over every textbook her parent’s provided, testing out and early graduations. At only sixteen, Zara would join the ranks of some of the youngest individuals to ever receive a doctoral degree. It truly seemed unreal to her.

Emerald eyes drifted to where Bucky sat at her desk, his arms crossed loosely in front of his chest.

“I wish you could be there tomorrow,” Zara commented, propping herself up on her elbows as her fingers pulled at the frayed threads on the yellow quilt folded at the end of her bed.

A smile teased the corner of Bucky’s lips as he leaned back against her swivel chair, long hair swaying as he tilted his head to the left to look at her. “I will be there, maybe not in person, but I’ll be there cheering right along with everyone else,’ he assured.

“It’s not the same and you know it, Buchanan.”

“I know. Just try to focus on the positives. Tomorrow is your day, you’ve more than earned it.”

Zara nodded, though her disappointment was still evident. On the average day, Bucky’s seemingly invisible presence to everyone else but her came in handy. As she was willing to bet her parents wouldn’t be too keen on the amount of time she spent alone with the grown man, let alone if they knew who he was. The public’s perception of James Buchanan Barnes, who she had quickly identified him as, was low to say the very least. Though it was days like this that she found herself wishing the most that he could truly exist in her life outside of her mind.

She could never quite pinpoint why she began hallucinating him two years prior. Though, the time before and after her fourteenth birthday had flown by in a post traumatic daze so it was even more difficult to analyze. The aftermath of four older boys assaulting her in her own bedroom left her wishing to repress that portion of her life altogether. Zara squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the ghost of their hands on her body. Grabbing, groping, pulling and tearing at clothes. She had hardly seen them since their attack but her mind was still trapped in the room with them.The feeling took her back to meeting Bucky that night, or more so the Winter Soldier, as he appeared at that time.

Upon entering her room, Zara failed to notice the masked man sitting silently in the corner of the room, illuminated only by the small lamp on her bedside stand. When she caught a glimpse of the figure, her body jumped to it’s fight response, just as it had an hour or so before. The young girl grabbed the closest thing she could find, a textbook on advanced chemistry, and held onto it tightly before turning to face the intruder.

“You need to leave,” she ordered, her voice wavering at the end of the demand. Her green eyes only met a pair of dark glasses securely strapped to his face. She couldn’t make out any facial features to identify him by, as all but his forehead and hair was covered.

It wasn’t just his silence that sent an unnerved shiver down her spine. It was his demeanor, cold and nearly unresponsive to her presence and defensive stance. Had his head not briefly turned her way when she started to speak, she’d question if he even heard her at all.

A large gun, likely a rifle from what she could tell, was resting across his lap. His hands weren’t actively gripping it, but something told her he could take aim in the time it took her to breathe her next breath. A variety of handguns and knives were also visible from the holsters adorning his thighs. If he had this many weapons visible, Zara could only imagine how many he had stashed under his tactical vest and heavy boots.

Her green eyes followed where she believed his gaze had drifted. He seemed laser focused on the strip of light just barely visible from under her door as a roar of laughter could be heard from just outside. His hand moved to rest just over the barrel of his gun. The young girl analyzed him for another moment before lowering the textbook, while still keeping it tightly in her hands.

“Will you at least tell me why you’re here?” There was a hint of desperation in her voice, one that vocalized all of the fear she had been trying to hide. She was met with more silence, which quickly became deafening to her. She was afraid to make a move to get his attention again, naturally unsure of how he would react. Yet, at the same time she couldn’t relax, not with him in her space.

After another few moments of no response, she allowed herself to consider the possibility that he wasn’t actually there. She had just been through something horribly traumatic and it was entirely possible that this was her brain's way of coping with the stress and fear. That it had conjured some masked figure to sit at her bedroom door and keep all the bad away.

She knew how best to test her theory, but she recognized the risk that came with it as she picked up a neon pink highlighter that she had been using earlier that night. She gripped it for a moment while weighing her options, throwing it across the room only seconds later. She didn’t put too much force behind it, hoping that if it gently came into contact, he’d be less likely to be angry. The consideration meant very little as the marker passed straight through the man and knocked against the wall before falling to the floor. She watched as it rolled across the floor and disappeared underneath her nearby dresser, a bittersweet feeling washing over her. On one hand, he wasn’t real and couldn’t hurt her. On the other, she was truly alone and definitely going crazy.

“This is fine,” Zara tried to reassure herself with very little luck.

She was pulled back from her thoughts as Bucky called her name for the third time, snapping her back to reality. Their eyes connected for a moment as she attempted to ground herself again, focusing on the small changes between how he was now versus then.

He had since lost the mask and goggles, she remembered him removing them a month or so after he first appeared. His current casual attire contrasted starkly with the hard kevlar of the tactical vest she first met him in. His features were more at ease now, no longer reflecting the fear that she could only compare to an animal in captivity. While she wasn’t fond of the comparison, following what she had learned of the real James Barnes, it wasn’t entirely far off.

As if the world was reading her mind, she faintly heard the voice of the local news anchor from the living room directly below her bedroom. Her features scrunched as she focused in on hearing the report, only catching snippets here and there. The words explosion and Sokovia Accords were most of what she could make out along with what she could’ve sworn was the suspect’s name, James Buchanan Barnes.

Before Zara could even question it further, she found herself racing down the main staircase of their suburban home, sock clad feet skidding to a halt on the polished dark oak flooring. Her eyes widened as she took in the security camera footage that was believed to place Bucky near the scene of the crime. Despite having no real proof, something deep within her gut screamed that it wasn’t true. She knew him, maybe not the real version, but he’d never do that.

Imaginary Bucky followed her into the living room a minute later, his pace slow and relaxed in comparison as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Being held responsible for the most recent atrocity was honestly just beginning to feel like the average Tuesday to him. More than anything, it was Zara’s reaction that took him the most by surprise. Her unwavering faith and loyalty was unexpected and as he believed, undeserved.

He had committed unspeakable acts over the years and this was likely far from the worst he was accused of. Sure, they had grown close in the two years since he first appeared and he imagined that made it easier for her to block out the rest of the stories, since she knew at least some version of the person in question.

Zara was good, in every sense of the word. Of course she had flaws, but who didn’t, especially at sixteen. But he saw the way that she looked at the world with love and curiosity despite the violence and violations she had experienced. It was a strength of character that he truly wished he could grow to embody. Bucky couldn’t help but find it funny that he was left looking up to a teenager who hadn’t even passed her driver’s test yet; but she honestly had more morals and heart than most of the adults he had met in his life. All of those facts being true is what made her belief in his innocence all the more confusing.

His eyes fell to her father, Gabriel, as he sat on the couch to take in the evening news. The man’s head shook in what seemed to be disappointment, or maybe it was anger, Bucky honestly couldn’t be sure anymore. They had never spoken, as Bucky’s intangible form made communication with anyone other than Zara impossible, but he knew Gabriel was a black and white kind of person. He couldn’t help but accept that to anyone who didn’t know him, the evidence would be damning.

“They need to just put him down while they have the chance,” Gabriel scoffed, speaking to no one in particular while switching the flatscreen off before they could finish the broadcast.

“He’s not a wild animal to be euthanized.” Zara’s expression twisted in disgust at her father’s casual nature. “He’s a human being. If he's guilty, and that’s a really big if with how blurry that security footage is, he deserves a trial just like anyone else!”

Gabe turned to look over the back of the couch, clearly displeased that she would defend the man. “I’m in no mood to debate with you, Ziarah.” He rose from his seat and dropped the remote onto the foot stool before leaving towards his study.

Zara watched him leave, her eye practically twitching with each step he took. She wanted to tell him he was wrong, to make him see that there were likely more sides to the story than they were seeing but she knew that it was useless. Her father rarely took her opinions or beliefs to heart on things that actually mattered to him, a topic like this would truly be a lost cause.

She looked up at Bucky as he shook his head lightly, letting her tension fade away as she accepted that it was pointless. “It’s okay, Zar,” Bucky assured, his small smile wiping away any lingering doubts she had. “There are more important battles to pick with him. This isn’t a hill worth dying on.”

Zara would’ve liked to argue that defending her friend was more than a worthy cause but she nodded nonetheless.

“How about we go find your mom. I bet she’s already working on the cake for your graduation and knowing you, you can convince her to let you lick the spoon.” His tone was playful as he coaxed her into motion, the promise of sweets and a friendly face luring her into the kitchen behind him.

Hanna was busy mixing away the different batters she would need for the next tier, the sweet aroma of baked goods filling the air. She hummed lightly as she worked, creating her own personal mix of her favorite 80’s songs together in a unique medley. Her green eyes moved to the doorway as she heard Zara walk in, a bright smile overtook her features as she set down her mixing bowl.

“There’s my little scholar,” she praised, moving around the kitchen island to take her daughter into her arms. Her warm embrace was a welcomed escape as Zara melted.

“Momma,” Zara grumbled as her mother placed a series of kisses on her forehead. “I thought you stopped doing that since I was a baby.” While Zara whined, deep down she always loved her mother’s open displays of affection. Not that she was willing to admit it.

“That’s the beauty of you always being my baby. You’re never too old for me to embarrass you. Just be grateful that I’ve opted to do it now instead of at your party.” The woman grinned away as she moved back to her work.

Zara honestly couldn’t argue with the logic as she found a seat on one of the tall bar stools. She quickly lost herself in the pleasant conversion with her mother, happily opting to clean the excess batter and frosting off of the bowls and mixing spoons like the helpful child she was. Imaginary Bucky sat quietly at the kitchen table, watching the women as they fell into the usual banter and discussion. After they finished her conversation she quickly grabbed a snack and made her way towards the door.

“I believe you’re forgetting something,” Hanna reminded, sending Zara a knowing look.

She huffed lightly before turning on her heels to grab her blood testing and insulin kit, waving it at her mother knowingly. She quickly turned back around and left the kitchen, making her way back upstairs.

Bucky didn’t hesitate to follow after her, stopping only when he saw Zara staring in her old room, which now housed her older brother Daniel. He could practically see the wheels turning in her mind as she ran over the events that more often than not had her scurrying past said room without acknowledging it. It was easier to just pretend it didn’t exist.

A few more moments passed before Zara pulled herself back from the darker parts of her mind, focusing in on everything else in her life that was good and worth celebrating. She had known pain and a time in her life where she often considered if it would’ve been easier to just fade away, but she had made it through to the other side. She had a lot going for her now and that was enough to push her feet forward again.

Chapter 2

[nerdybibeans]

WHAT COULD HAVE FIXED THE RATCHET AND CLANK MOVIE

Now before I start I think its fair to say that well, I really do like the Ratchet and clank movie, it can be super funny and even has a few goods Quote, but on the other hand it does have a few BIG PROBLEMS, and I think even with the seven adjustments it still needs a lot more time, but here we go!!!

Number one stay closer to the Original humor- Though it do enjoy some of the jokes of the 2016 movie it can at times be a little bit childish, and some Jokes can Drag on a little to long, while others don’t get enough time, I know they had to tone it down a little bit to keep the movies PG rating but I feel it was a big hindrance in people’s enjoyment of the film as Ratchet and Clank is know for it dry and Ronchi humor and even in a smaller dose I think people would have liked it better

Number two it should have been PG-13- like I said Ratchet and clank is definitely more for older kids and adults, and I think it could have used a PG-13 rating to it’s advantage from working in more dirty jokes and getting to use more violence and who know what else, and its not like little kids would be traumatize or anything as most ever single Marvel DC and Star Wars movies are all PG-13, and family still go to those movies

NUMBER THREE MAKE DREK THE MAIN BADDIE- one of the biggest problems is chairman Drek getting pushed into well not even a side villain role, more like a background character at times, I personally love Drek and think he could have been a super fun villain of well Nefarious didn’t steal it from him, it hard to keep your attention on what Dreks plan is because well ITS DR NEFARIOUS he always has a funny line or just having so much fun being Evil it hard not to want him to win!

NUMBER FOUR MAKE RATCHET AND CLANK HAVE TO WORK FOR THEIR FRIENDSHIP- one of my favorite aspects of the original game is seeing Ratchet and clank build up their friendship, seeing the two strangers slowly because the best friends we know and love is just so heartwarming, and even though I like their Relationship in the movie, it comes in way to quickly, and don’t feel really, it takes time for people to become friends!! And they really missed a shot to pull on everyone hearts

NUMBER FIVE KEEP THE GAME FROM NEXT YEAR- now everyone knows that both progress were Rushed, and I feel the game suffered more severely in this aspect, as it feels kinda Unfinished at times and doesn’t line up with the movie at all, yes Qwark gives us a reason why but still

NUMBER SIX USE NEFARIOUS AS A RANGER/FUTURE BADDIE- I adore the idea of Neffy being a disgruntled Ranger,and I feel like it was a HUGE waste of potential to not explore that, have him be a member of the time and show him slowly losing his goodness, hell even for the ending could have been him Plotting to atomized the city!! To tie in for a second movie and game!!!

And THE BIGGEST PROBLEM

NUMBER SEVEN NOT GIVING THE CHARACTERS ANY TIME TO LEAVE A MARK- outside of the character we knew all the new characters felt very rushed and empty, which makes me sad as I can see they could be super kickass if given the time of day especially Elaris and Braxs they need more time on screen so people would have wanted to see them win!!

And a honorable mention

BRING BACK MORE OLDER CHARACTERS- I want to see Helga again so badly...that’s all

Thanks for reading please share your thoughts on the movie and list!!!! Tell me what you think could have made the movie and game better

[ellana-ravenwood]

“It’s them, but it’s not them !” 2/2 -Bruce Wayne x Reader

@m-fairbank also asked the same thing, things happening on Batmom’s point of you, and also some of the batboys...and I kinda planned something like that anyway. So here’s a sequel for “It’s her but it’s not her”, and I hope you’ll like it (and hope the “mixed feelings” were still good ones ;-)) AGAIN felt like I could write something better, might re-write everything...I rushed a bit writing it cause I’m in L.A but I also wanted to write something and...I guess it’s this kind of time eh. 

Summary : Batman and his kids accidentally got send in an alternate dimension, and Batmom has the displeasure of realizing that her Bruce from this other world is...not hers at all. 

FINISHED SERIES : PART 1

my master list blog :@ella-ravenwood-archives

_____________________________________________________________________

When your husband and kids came home with Diana and Clark, you didn’t think too much of it. It wasn’t unusual for your friends to come over to the bat cave and work, or even just chill. 

But when you went to kiss Bruce, and you felt him stiffen under your touch. When he didn’t kiss back, and even moved away, his head moving back and forth between you and Clark, stunned. When your sons stared at you with wide eyes and open mouthes...you realized something was wrong. 

-Wh...what is it ? 

Bruce didn’t say anything, he found he couldn’t say anything. The Hell just happened ? Clark’s wife just kissed him ! And...What was she doing in the bat cave anyway, at this hour ? 

Under your husband’s gaze, you felt uncomfortable for the first time in your life. Usually, he had the opposite effect on you, you were always so relaxed around him. Even during charity balls or such obligations you had as Waynes, when your introverted self felt awful, his mere presence calmed you down and helped you get threw the night. 

But right now, the way he was looking at you made you shiver. You didn’t recognize his usual look...In his eyes right now, there were no love, no relief to see you well and alive, no joy, no slight impatience to finally get to bed with you. Instead, there was confusion, embarrassment, and a slight touch of curiosity maybe ? 

And your children...None of them rushed to hug you first, or to tell you who’s ass they kicked this time. 

Something was wrong. Terribly wrong. 

Clark approached you, and laid a soothing hand on  your shoulder. 

-They...Hum...They’re not who you think they are. 

Diana rolled her eyes, leave it to Superman to not be able to actually explain something properly. She came close to you too, and said : 

-There was an...accident with the League. A portal open and your family went threw, they came back, and they’re not...

-I understood what Clark meant. 

Even though the situation was serious, Superman couldn’t help but give a look at Wonder Woman that meant : “See, she got it”. Diana stuck her tongue out to him. Those two could sometimes be so childish. And cute. But right now, you weren’t feeling like you could appreciate how cute they could be together. 

You looked at Bruce, and you were sure everything was true. This wasn’t your Bruce. And they weren’t your children...You felt sick. And you fainted. The Batman was the fastest to catch you, and you collapsed in his arms. 

You were as light as a feather, and holding you like that made him feel weird...he just couldn’t pinpoint what exactly were those feelings. 

Alfred rushed toward you guys, and said : 

-Oh my oh my oh my, let’s take her to your...hum...Her room I guess. Follow me...Master Bruce. 

**********************

Bruce, not your Bruce, another one, took you to the room you shared with your husband. You were still unconscious. Too many emotions at once. What if this “portal” couldn’t be re-open, meaning you’d never see your family again ? No. That couldn’t happen. And yet...

Batman laid you down delicately in the bed, noticing that it was left undone and that there were definitely two people usually sharing this bed. He didn’t really know what he felt right now. So, in this World, you weren’t his best friend’s wife, you were...His. 

-Come Master Bruce, let Lady (Y/N) rest, it must be quite a shock to...Well, you know. 

He definitely knew. He couldn’t believe it, in his World, you and Clark were so in love...Yes, he knew you had a crush on him years ago, and he liked you too, but he also knew that in his line of work, there was no time for serious relationship and all...Was he wrong ? Did he make a mistake ? According to what his friends from this World’s League told him, everything was fine here too, mostly thanks to the Batman, to this other him who was...married. To you. His best friend’s dear wife. Who used to like him, and vice versa. He just couldn’t wrap his head around that.

Him and his children followed Alfred threw corridors, and they couldn’t help but stop at almost every pictures hung on the walls. It wasn’t austere paintings like in their house, it was colorful photographs. 

Dick stopped in front of a picture where he just graduated from High School, and you and Bruce were on each side of him, arms around his shoulder. All of you smiled, even the bat. “I’m so proud of you son”, was written on the picture, signed by Bruce. A little cute heart followed by “I love you my wonder boy, you’re the most fantastic one ever !” was also written, with a signature he didn’t recognize, probably yours. His heart tightened, Bruce wasn’t even at his graduation day where he came from...

Jason’s eyes got attracted by a picture where he was sitting on Bruce’s shoulders. Bruce was looking up at him, a bright smile on his face, one of his hand holding his, while the other held the hand of Clark Kent’s wife...Apparently his wife in this world. You. Jason looked happier than he ever felt in this picture. In his free hand, the one Bruce wasn’t holding, he had some cotton candy. On the bottom of the picture was written : “Gotham Fair, summer 1996, picture proudly taken by yours truly, Dick Grayson”. How was this possible ? In his World, Bruce and Jason weren’t on the best terms at all. They actually rarely spoke, though they worked together...This was all so unsettling. 

Tim was in front of a picture of him, age 10 or something. Bruce was holding him in his arms, hugging him lovingly. You were next to him, holding a trophy in your hand, and Tim recognize the science fair he won 7 years ago, but neither Bruce nor you (obviously) were there to congratulate him. He was smiling like crazy, his arms in the air as a sign of victory, and Bruce was raising him almost above his head, pride shining in his face. The caption under the picture read : “Timmy winning the science fair, 4th grade, picture taken by proud big brother Jason (Dick was flirting with Tim’s teacher, of course he would...)”. Tim felt tears welled up in his eyes, his life was so far from what he was seeing on this picture...

Damian stopped in front of one where it was just you and him. Outside on a snowy day. You were bending down a bit to be at his height, your arms slung around him, clearly laughing, and he was...smiling. Not of the fake smile he gave people at charity balls and such, no, a real, true, heartfelt smile. He never smiled like that...Also, he was holding your arms in a sideway hug. He couldn’t remember one time he ever hug anyone, or been hugged. Under the picture was written : “Damian and mom, Winter 2016, Dami’s first snowballs fight, picture taken by a very defeated Bruce”. 

Bruce was standing in front of a picture that made his heart beat faster than ever. It was you and him, he wore a beautiful suit, and you were in a wedding dress. Your foreheads touched, and the smiles on both your faces were the most broad and beautiful. “Wedding day, 1992, picture taken by little Dickie”. His eyes then went to the picture next to that, you were both in front of a Japanese temple, he was kissing the crown of your head, and you were smiling, your hand splayed on his chest, your head on his chest. “Honeymoon, 1992, Japan”. ��Next picture, you and him at a charity ball. You were so beautiful. The entire wall was just pictures of the two of you, and another life he could have had unfolded in front of him. That other Bruce seemed so happy...Maybe he did make a mistake by turning you down all those years ago. 

Dick took him away from his sad thoughts : 

-Wow. It sure seems like we have very different lives here eh...

-No shit right ? Maybe I never got beaten by the Joker with a crowbar here...

Alfred jumped in, so far, he didn’t say anything and let them look at the pictures that littered the walls : 

-I’m afraid you did die, master Jason. However, Lady (Y/N) convinced you long ago to give up your...murderous ways you adopted after you came back to life.

-Oh...Well...Shit. That’s...That’s so weird. I feel weird. 

-I feel weird too. 

Tim said, looking at multiples pictures of himself and his brothers having a good time...Christmases, easters, birthdays...They were a real family here.

Damian didn’t say a word, but thought the same things. He felt jealous toward the other version of him. He had a dad and a mom. Real ones...

Bruce’s harsh voice stopped all of their thinkings. 

-Let’s go boys, we have important things to do. 

*******************

You woke up during the night, alone, and remembered everything. You felt sick again, but didn’t faint. 

For the next two weeks, you tried to help them as best you could to find a way back home. You felt so strange, not being able to touch any of them without them stiffening under your fingers. You felt so strange, not being able to kiss your husband, or hold your children. You felt...incredibly sad. You missed them so much. 

And they were no better. They had a hard time handling their discoveries. That in this world, they were a family, they were happier. Everything was not always perfect, according to Alfred, but they were...together. 

Alfred’s heart bleed with the thought that somewhere, his Bruce wasn’t the one he raised at all. Somewhere, he never met you, and never got out of the dark well he fell into when he was 8. Somewhere, he was just The Dark Knight and nothing else...and apparently, he had a very difficult relationship with his sons. 

You intervened multiple times to stop a dispute that sprout between them. All of this was so wrong...

At night, Bruce couldn’t sleep. More than usual. Plagued with dreams about what his life could have been. 

*********************

Finally, they found a way home, though they weren’t sure they really wanted to leave. But they couldn’t stay, they couldn’t steal what their other selves had. It wouldn’t be right. 

You felt a deep sadness in your heart though, as you saw them leave. From your understanding, their lives weren’t the greatest, and you couldn’t help but feel terrible at the thought of your children, and him, your Bruce, being miserable...however, they weren’t really yours, and when your family went threw the portal to return to you, you forgot everything. It made you feel guilty for a while, but what could you do ? Bruce’s decision in the other World were his. You felt so guilty feeling like it was his fault if things went that way...but realistically, it was...He’s the one that didn't let you enter his life. 

However, the thoughts of that other Bruce, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian never left you. From the day your family came back, you loved them even more than before, if that was possible, and took care of them even more too. Because you realized that without you, things would be very different, and you hated how things would be. You hated the fact that they all looked so sad and distressed. That they all seem to lack love and affections so much. It made you physically sick to think about those other boys...So you turned your pain for them into love for the one you had. For your husband. For your sons. Because here, they were yours. And they’d always be yours. 

However, you could just never forget about them, even though you thought it was kind of that other Bruce’s fault. You just couldn’t be that cold. Your heart went to those boys, and to the man that never married you. It might have been his fault if it didn’t happen, but you knew he didn’t deserve to be miserable...

******************

Back in his dimension, he was thinking about it, and would definitely agree with you. It was his fault. And he knew now that he made a terrible mistake years ago. He should’ve never turned you down all those years ago. Maybe now, he wouldn’t feel so hollow, so empty...Maybe you were the missing piece. But he could never have you. Not anymore, it was too late. You just had Clark’s child...

He put his head in his hands, and let himself cry. For the first time in years. Because the thought of what he let go off was just too painful. Things could be so different, for him AND for his children. Especially for the kids...they deserved so much better than a broken man unable to show them his affection. 

They deserved you. But you were going to love that child you just got with Clark. His son was going to have the life his children should have had. 

And it was all his fault...

The End.

[godeki]

Gotei 15 Through the Years (An IRL Story)

Where to begin... Well let’s see, 12 year ago I started dating a girl who seemed very much like me. We hit off very easily and after a lot of complications and various issues (this is another story in itself) we ended up together. Now, you just keep in mind that when we started dating neither of us were reading/watching BLEACH (hell i didn’t even know about it yet). Well sometime in the first year or so of being together, I found BLEACH and I fell in love with it. As a natural gesture, I shared this new love with the girl I loved. After some early dismissals of the material, she eventual began to like BLEACH as well.

From there, things only escalated as we and most of friends discovered that we shared a lot in common with the two main protagonists of BLEACH (Ichigo and Rukia). From our personalities, to behaviors, to even mannerisms. Now you must also keep in mind, we were like this before we ever found BLEACH. However the fact that we were so similar to these characters, made our bond to one another seem even stronger. We loved the back and forth relationship that these two shared and how well they complimented one another. It was like they were made for us in some way, shape or form.

Fast forward a bit and my love (who has a talent for sewing and such) made us both Shinigami robes for our respective characters and we used them for cosplay purposes at several anime conventions we were going to at the time. Eventually I was given an upgrade as she made me Ichigo’s Bankai coat. Now I must tell you the amount of detail and time she put into this coat. She spent quite some time starring at pictures of his coat over and over to get all the details down. She managed to work out all the tattered cuts and “spikes” at the end of his coat...TWICE! Once for the black outter coat, and then again for a red inner liner for the coat. Now the Shinigami robes were not our only BLEACH costumes, we both had the corresponding characters School Uniforms for cosplay use as well. Later we adopted a fan theory about Ichigo being the captain of Gotei 15 ( with the flower for the squad be a Strawberry Plant) and Rukia being his Vice Captain. My love then decided to take this one step further and actually make herself the Vice Captain badge with the strawberry plant on it and a captain’s cloak for me with the #15 on the back in the same design style as the other 13 official ones. 

Now, you might be wondering why I mention all of this, well it is to help further your understanding of who we are and how much we were into BLEACH. Let us skip ahead a bit more to about roughly 2.5 years into our relationship. It is currently 2007 at this point and we are at Otakon (an anime convention) and I am about to make the biggest change in my life. On July 21st, while we were at the convention, in front of a bunch of our friends, I asked my Rukia to be mine forever. I had this whole proposal worked out. I had been plotting for months exactly how I was going to do it, where I was going to do it and when I was going to do it. I even had my male friends all in on it and made them assist with getting things prepared. After all my planning for the months leading up to actually popping the question, I had everything figured out.... that is, everything except for actually handling the final part that involved presenting her with the ring. I got all the way up to that moment and literally just winged that last part. It was a bit haphazard and I did not get down on one knee or anything. I literally fumbled the ending, after all that careful plotting.

As the years went on and BLEACH’s story continued, we continued to use our cosplays of each character. Every convention saw the return of our dynamic duo despite the fanbase dying off more and more each year. It didn’t matter to us, they were us and we were them and nothing was going to change that. Or so we thought. Jump ahead to August 2016, and we are at Otakon once again (there is roughly 2 chapters left in BLECH) and just like most people, we feel like the series should have ended after Aizen. ( I hate to admit to it though) We did our usual routine, used some new costumes, some old ones, and of course our BLEACH ones.

Then, the last 2 chapters arrive, and needless to say we weren’t happy with the outcome. Of course the biggest shock was that our pairing, the two people we identified with most, the two that seemed like a 100% shoe in thing, in the end, did not end up together. This hurt, a lot, but it wasn’t the only thing. We knew all about the controversy going on for the last few months between Kubo and Jump. So we knew things were rushed, but the whole ending just seemed wrong and not just because of the Ichigo and Rukia parts, but also because every character seemed wrong and things felt like he pulled an Evangelion on the fans. Now I am not here to debate things over the ending, but it is important that I mention all this for the rest of my story.

My other half took the ending much harder than I did. She was terrified to an extent for various reasons. One of the bigger ones was, she was worried about using our costumes ever again. Part in due to the out lash we might get from other BLEACH cosplayers and part was her fear that my emotional state might deteriorate from it. These two fictional people, had been our everything for the last 10+ years. As I stated, they were our go to cosplays, they were our pairing, and they were our engagement. So they mean a lot to us because as I said, they are us and we are them. We share a lot of fond memories that came about because of them. Now this may seem childish to some or even outright dumb but it is hard to just get over something that has been so prominent in your life.

We were both worried about each other and how we would handle the subject going forward and what we would do if the subject was brought up. I assured her of one thing shortly after the ending had happened ‘We will have the ending that they didn’t.” That one line from me to her seem to set her mind at ease some and I think helped her to understand that nothing was going to change between us. Needless to say the ending still baffles us and even gets her upset from time to time but I just keep reminding her that “We will have the ending that they didn’t.” and it always seems to help some. I am sure that over time things will get easier and it won’t bother us as much as it did/does.

Now let us skip ahead once more to the present day. Two anime conventions have passed since the ending of BLEACH and I am pleased to say that nothing has changed. We still behave the same ways we always have, we still have the same personalities, and yes, we have still been using our BLEACH cosplays. Surprisingly (or maybe not) no one has heckled us or given us and crap over it. (I’ve had my share of BS experiences from a cosplay community before so I am a bit surprised honestly). This past weekend was once again Otakon and we once again donned a familiar set of robes and had our fun as always. There was even a BLEACH photoshoot again, granted there was only like 5 or 6 of us that showed up (strange because we saw a lot more BLEACH characters walking around that didn’t show up). The shoot was short and sweet and there was a lot of laughs. At the end though came a surprise, one that I was expecting at all. 

My Rukia, grabbed my attention and started off on a cute little speech about this being the 10 year anniversary of my fumbled engagement proposal, needless to say I was a bit caught off guard and embarrassed by what she was doing in public. The embarrassment only worsened at the end, when SHE got down on one knee and (sorta renewed her vows to an extent) and asked if I would stay with her for another 10+ years (yea I know she meant forever but it was worded that way when she said it. :3 ). Being the spaz that I am at times I excepted it my usual way which kinda threw her off but I made a slick recovery (not really but I did fix it). She then presented me with a hand made stuffed bunny (my own Chappy), what made this special was she had managed to sew our Gotei 15 Strawberry pattern into the inner part of the stuffed bunnies ears (the same idea style used my captain’s cloak from way back near the start of this story) for that little extra bit of awesomeness. 

I am not sure what more to really say about us. If you spent a day with us (before we discovered BLEACH or even after) you’d swear you were watching Ichigo and Rukia were just going about their normal business with one another in an episode. My other half means everything to me, and no matter what changes in our lives she will continue to be everything to me. She will always be my Rukia and I will always be her Ichigo. It is just the stubborn side of us both that doesn’t want to let them go an probably never will let them go. I don’t feel there is any real reason for us to let them go. As long as we continue to be who we are, they will always be a part of us and honestly I am fine with that. They have been a part of our lives for so long it is hard to imagine them not being there anymore. Sure the series is over but it honestly doesn’t matter, they will always live on as part of us.

I think I have gotten my point across and told enough of our story for now. Maybe one day I will share certain parts of this story in greater detail but for now, I need to sleep. To anyone who actually reads all of this, I thank your for your patience and for reading my little tale of my Rukia and I.

[sebuntease]

My Ear’s Candy. (Mingyu Smut)

This has been in our inbox for months now definitely and I’m so sorry I only ever got to finish it now, to the anon who requested it, I’m so fucking sorry it took so long. There are still like 18 more smuts I have to finish and I’ve been working on my writing, I’ll also be editing some posted works if I get the chance to. Also, I’m sorry it’s short, this is probably one of the shortest smuts I’ve written probably cause I don’t know how to write oral just yet, but I’ll be sure to improve it. Thank you so much for waiting, and again I’m sorry if this was boring and stuff shit, I’m sorry. Wegkhagfkjawfa

-admin kate

this contains oral!sex, a little fluff, is kinda short. But I hope ya’ll like it.

“Te quiero.” Your boyfriend’s voice boomed across the loud speakers, it was the 2016 Thank You Festival and your boyfriend was featuring in Baek Ji Young’s ‘My Ear’s Candy’ with his fellow member Moon Junhui, Jun was a natural troublemaker you could say. You wanted to surprise Mingyu, because his schedule is always packed that he isn’t able to squeeze some time for you, but you understood that, it was his job after all and it was just something he loved doing, and you loved how passionate he was. So instead, you made some time for him, not only that but you had definitely noticed the extra lines on his forehead and his tired eyes, but even so his orbs held genuine happiness. He really didn’t want you to come today because he would be more nervous than usual because then he’d remember the last time that he had invited you to one of their shows, he remembered losing composure and it resulted in a good laugh with the members.

But shit, you knew your boyfriend was handsome, but boy does he look good in that suit, absolutely fuckable indeed. You love his tan skin just the way it was, his skin looked great on him. You never understood why he was so insecure about his skin tone, you’d always remind him he was perfect just the way he was. But maybe those never-ending questions that people would ask, ‘Why are you so tan?’ actually made him think about it more, when he really shouldn’t. But it really doesn’t matter at all, he’s so lovable that anyone would like him.

As you watched him intently, he was the only one you saw. You’d always be reminded of how much you love this person and how glad you were to be his significant other, and you were the lucky person, because not anyone could be in your place. Mingyu was everything you could ever ask for. As you stood backstage, you didn’t think you’d be this affected. You’ve seen him perform on stage loads of times, but his performance right now was sending tingles down there. He just looks so hot, you couldn’t wait for him to finish to give him a reward for working so hard. You also know how exhausted he was lately because you keep tabs on his members and they were more than happy to provide information about his condition, you all were great friends after all.

-

Mingyu walked off stage with Jun beside him, drinking big gulps as he quenched his thirst, his head still in the clouds after the performance. Bowing to everyone gratefully as they wiped off their sweat with folds of tissue, he didn’t notice you stalk behind the pillar just across from where he and his member stood.

“You’ve worked hard.” Their senior, Baek Ji Young had greeted the boys with the smile, and they return the gesture respectfully, bowing the second they saw her. A faint smile had spread across your features at their response.

Jun’s head swiveled around the place, looking for a familiar face, and just as his eyes landed on you, he gave you a knowing smirk. In which you replied with a sly thumbs up, you then noticed him chat with Mingyu a bit before speeding off, leaving your confused boyfriend behind. Just as you were about to tip-toe your way towards him, he sheds himself of the blazer he had on, even under his black shirt you could very well see his toned chest threatening to break through the thin fabric. You couldn’t help but swoon at the sight, you bit your lip slowly, the mere thought of  the countless things you could do to him and the countless things he could do to you.

You embrace him in a tight back hug and he jerks forward in surprise, but when he craned his neck to look at you, his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Y/N!” He held you close, you buried your face in his chest, his cologne strong even thought he was covered in sweat beforehand.

“You looked so cool!” You gushed, and he gives you an embarrassed smile. “You were watching?”

“Saranghae~” You mimic him from earlier, and he only pulls you in for a savoring hug, because he missed you and maybe because he was just a tad bit embarrassed, knowing you’d tease him all about it later.

“I love you.” He sang softly as he held you tight, and you feel your heart flutter in your chest. “You’re so cheesy, why am I even dating you.” You complain, but hide a smile as you bury your face in his chest.

“I really missed you.” He hugs you even tighter, making you struggle to breathe, he was a big man, he could bend you easily like a toothpick. You let out a squeal because of how tight he squeezed you, “Jesus christ, easy boy.” You joke, tip-toeing to pat him on the head, he pouts playfully, intertwining his large hands with yours, rocking back and forth on his feet as he leans close to you, eyes solely trained on your lips.

“Didn’t you miss me too?” He says lowly, in a suggesting tone that only you could hear. You bit your lip, looking around cheekily before replying, just as hinting.

“You bet I did.” You say softly, your eyes land on his lips, in which he notices and takes his bottom lip between his teeth. “But there is something else I kind of miss.” your hands graze against his belt, a mischievous look on your face, you feel him tense against your touch.

“Yeah?” He almost growls, with a very cloudy look in his eyes, his hands land on your waist, pulling you closer, not wanting to leave even an inch of space in between you, and you could already feel something stiff poke against your stomach.

“Yeah.” You purr, hooking your hands behind his neck, slightly tugging at his hair and you could faintly hear him let out a quiet groan. “You know,” you start in a seducing tone, and at this moment you were both just staring into each other’s eyes, just deliberately forgetting about the fact that you were surrounded by people, people that were busy bustling around.

“You did a really amazing job today. Proud girlfriend here.” You whisper, and he hums lowly in response knowing you had more to say. “And this,” You tug at the collar of the shirt at his nape, he feels himself ignite something from deep inside him. Every single touch you gave, left a trail of burning desire.

Was this the effect of not seeing you in so long? If it was, then it had already been decided that you weren’t going to leave him hungry today.

“Looks really great on you,” Your husky voice was music to his ears, he had to resist closing his eyes and just listen to you speak all day, he just couldn’t get enough. Loving the compliments and knowing where the conversation was going, he once again hums in response. “And I’d really love it if you’d…” You were stalling your words, making him grow impatient, his grip on your waist tightened quite considerably.

“If I’d what?” His hot breath fanned over your face, growing impatient, but he still dares to take the torture.

“If you’d maybe…” You trail off, making him groan in protest. “Fuck, what is it.” He demands in a harsh whisper, grinding your hips to his roughly, and you only giggle at how he was rushing you. You were very turned on at this point, and the bulge on his jeans was more than enough proof he was too. “You gonna keep on giggling like that?” He taunts, leaning in for a kiss, but your finger was on his lips in a matter of seconds, stopping him with a sexy smirk.

“Not here.” You whisper, looking around to see a few eyes on the two of you already. He stomps his foot childishly, but he knew he had to resist. It was risky, too risky.

He takes your free hand, “But I’m already hard.” And he slyly places it on his growing bulge, and you immediately pry your hands away, looking around nervously. You hit him on the shoulder to scold him, but he only chuckles at your reaction. “Keep it in your pants for little longer.” He then scoffs in disbelief, “Then you should’ve made me hard later, not now.” He groans, you giggle at his childish reasoning.

“Why did you make me hard if you weren’t going to do anything about it.” He continues to whine, you roll your eyes and drag him somewhere, as eyes were falling on the two of you too quickly. He’s literally a man-boy.

“Shut it, what if someone hears?” You look around for any doors to go through while scolding him, he just tags along behind you.  “Then they’ll know you seduced me, and what’s worse- you didn’t take responsibility.” He answered, as if trying to blackmail you and you only snort in response. You didn’t notice him halt in his tracks and smiles to himself as he saw a sign that read ‘Pantry’.

Isn’t there a damn bathroom in this area?-

Your thoughts were cut off when you felt a grip on your wrist, pulling you into a cramped room, it smelt of a supermarket, weirdly. And judging by the neatly stocked food and chips you had only figured it was a pantry, and that it was very dark.

But it worked.

“Well?” Your boyfriends voice startled you, it sounded like he was just in front of you but he was at least a foot away, leaning against the shelf. He had this cocky smirk on his face, and you knew that face really well.

“You really couldn’t wait, can you?” He just watched as you walk closer, by the tone of your voice that was unusually low, he knew what it meant. Finally, some release.

He wraps his arms around your waist, capturing you in a passionate kiss, the sound of lips smacking against each other and naughty hands filled the small space. His hands find their way down your back, taking a handful of each cheek, he squeezed your ass making you giggle into the kiss, taking him aback. You break the kiss, starting to suck on his jaw, and all you could hear was his ragged breathing and grunts, your hands trail down his stomach and over his clothed bulge, palming him through his pants he lets a string of curses fall from his mouth.

“Fuck yes.” He groans, his knuckles were turning white as he almost desperately gripped the shelfs like his life depended on it. Your kisses, touches, everything was just driving him to a corner, it was driving him insane. He loved it. You could feel him harden under your hands, and you slowly got to your knees.

Boy, did he miss this sight.

You look up at him with your doe eyes, with a cheeky grin you slowly undid his belt, and just as you were about to pull it out of the rings, you place a gentle kiss on his clothed erection. He sighs upon the sight of you, on your knees, ready to worship his cock. It was everything he’s ever dreamed of.

Knowing anyone could waltz right in, you had to keep quiet in order not to draw any unwanted attention, but knowing how noisy and verbal Mingyu could be, you wouldn’t be surprised. But you liked it, seeing him writher under your presence, was a sight you were very fond of. Pulling his pants down, almost painfully slowly, you were met with his beautiful length. It made your mouth water, beads of precum had already leaked through the tip of his cock, the veins were very prominent, and he was very hard. You had no idea how long it had been since he’s last been inside you, but one thing you knew for sure was that you wanted him in you, now.

But time wasn’t on your side right now, you’ve only got enough time for a quick blow.

“I really missed your cock.” You give the tip a small peck, the precum staining your lips, you lick the salty substance making Mingyu moan in anticipation.

“Yeah?” He mutters, both of you at this point were starting to sweat, this room had no ventilation, it was very cramped, and it was very uncomfortable, but the two of you didn’t really care. “You know what I missed?” He asked, holding back a sigh as you wrap your hand around the base of his length.

“The sound your pussy makes when I fuck you hard, just how you like it.” You moan at his words, taking him in your mouth midway, the vibrations from your moans if not doubled, then tripled the amount of pleasure he was feeling. Warmth just spreading along every inch of his body. He feels his toes curling in his shoes, and you were positive you were also dripping with arousal.

You had trouble taking him all the way in, so your hands covered what couldn’t be reached, his hand tangled in your hair, forcing you to take him even deeper, he was already jabbing the back of your throat and you start sobbing around his dick, large tears streamed down your cheeks, and whenever you’d gag, he let out such pleasured moans, you just let him do it. After a few minutes of merciless mouth fucking, he pulls out, a string of your saliva connected your lips to his cock.

“Look at you.” He says more to himself as he held you by your hair, taking a good look at the dried tears, some of his precum dripped from the corner of your swollen lips, and your lust-filled eyes. He’s never found someone all tired out, look so beautiful. He leans down to give a long deep kiss, he almost grimaced at the taste of himself in his mouth, but he just really loved kissing you. “Will you let me come in your mouth?” He held your chin in his hands, his thumb grazing your bottom lip as he gazed deep into your eyes, you were totally under his word.

“Are you going to fill up my mouth again?” You say with a beam of excitement, he smiles at your eagerness. “Do you want me to?” He asks lovingly, and you nod eagerly, shifting on your knees. He rubs his hand along his shaft, and you watch hungrily, he taps the head of his cock on your lips, and your tongue circled around his head before taking him in once again.

You take him in a deep as you can, starting off slow. Your hands are fisting his shirt as you swallow him in, the sounds of slurping, pants, and the sound of faint music in the background. This was crazy. Giving your boyfriend head in some pantry, if someone knew what went down in here, you weren’t sure if they’d eat the food from here anymore.

When you gag around his cock, he accidentally bucks in your mouth, and you sob. “Yes.” He growls, eyes rolling to the back of his head in complete ecstasy. He was so goddamn close, and by the pace you were going, and your fucked-up state, he feels all the blood rush to his head. You moan around him for the umpteenth time, and he’d just lost it. He’s milking himself down your throat, his cock twitched inside of your mouth as he came, His hot cum trickled down your throat, the substance thick and creamy. His groans as he emptied himself out of you were heavenly.

He pulls out slowly, watching you with his cloudy hazel eyes, you leave your jaw slack, and he almost melts down at the sight of your tear-stained cheeks, flushed face and messed up hair, giving him a view of his white thick cum that just swirled around in your mouth, he gives off a look of authority, “You look beautiful baby.” His voice was a mixture of proudness, and content. You give him a curt smile, and swallow his thick semen. As you did he kneels down, locking lips with yours, yet again, you tuck in his now limp member in his pants, and you could feel him rushing to end the passionate kiss.

“I have to get going, they might be looking for me.” He genuinely seemed like he didn’t want to leave you so soon, but he had to. You give him an assuring smile, “It’s okay, you go ahead. I’ll clean up.” You say rummaging the pantry for any tissue or cloth to just wipe the accumulated sweat, drool and cum you were certain you had around your mouth. But he seemed to have a disapproving look.

“But I feel bad, you didn’t get to cum-” He protests but you cut him off immediately, “Then you can make me cum as many times as you want later.” You shut him up with a quick peck on the cheek. His concerned face morphed into one of mischief, “Later?” He gives you a cheeky smile, his tone was hinting.

“Yes, later.” You chuckle, seeing his excitement. “You’re staying?!” He wraps his large arms around you in a tight hug, but you could barely manage a ‘yes’ because of the lack of air.

“That’s the second time in one day you try to suffocate your girlfriend to death.” You say in a strained voice, and it was only then he lets go of you, now having an apologetic look. “But I thought you love my hugs.” He pouts.

“Do I?” You tease, and he only pouts even more, if that was even possible, seeing he was going to start sulking soon, “I’m kidding.”

“Sorry~ I just love you so much.” He acts cute, you had to hold back an eyeroll, he almost fails because of his deep voice, but since he looked cute anyway, you take it.

What did you ever do to deserve him?

But what he says next only made you anticipate what you were in for later tonight.

With a very innocent voice and face, the words rolled out of his mouth smoothly as he whispers into your ear. “You can just choke me all you want later then.”

So there you stood, watching his back as he walked away.

It was going to be one hell of a night.

[awed-frog]

I find your thoughts about Snape really fascinating! Recently I've dusted off my old books, reread some parts and also some really good fanfics - but when I read HP for the first time, I wasn't really present in forums or followed blogs about it, I consumed the books pretty much in my personal bubble of one. I regret that now, because it took me some time to see how differently people saw the characters or reacted to their stories, beyond the simple "X is my favorite and Y is kinda dumb". 1/3

Snape is still kind of difficult for me to categorize - of course I disliked him in the first books for his behaviour and the way he treated Harry, but even then I never really hated him. I mostly asked myself why he did the things that he did, and I remember when I read his backstory in book 7 it made me profoundly sad - even more so than the deaths of others, for example Lupin, which really suprised myself. I agree with you that it does not excuse his actions, 2/3but the thought of what man Snape was, being stuck in a life with people who hated him and him hating himself for what he did when he was young - his story was one that really stuck with me, even years later. So, what I wanted to say (before this got a bit out of hand) is that I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on Snape, and that I definitely should go follow some HP blogs to freshen up my dash a bit :D 3/3

Hi caeillian - thank you for your lovely message. Those books had such an impact on so many of us, it’s always interesting to hear about the experiences others had with them. 

(The question of whether it’s more rewarding to read alone or follow the same story with others - that’s complicated. I guess we mostly evolved to hear fiction as a group, and I sometimes wonder if this is why some of us are so affected by books we read alone - you know, like it happens with post partum depression, in a way. Anyway - the HP books certainly had a profound impact on me, and if you want to compare your experience to mine, I wrote about it in my 2016 thank you to fanfiction authors - you can read it here.) 

Profoundly sad - yes. I remember that before the whole story came out (we were perhaps between books five and six), someone asked JK Rowling if Snape had ever loved anyone, and her answer was, “No one would want to be loved by Snape” or something similar - the rest of her comment, which I have now forgotten, implied there was something sick in the way he loved people, and the forums went wild with talk of BDSM and weird torture kinks. Instead, well, it turns out she meant it in a very different way: this is a man who never learned how to form any significant relationship, and therefore loves in absolutes - which sounds nice, but is really not. 

(I knew someone like that, and it ended in the worst possible way.)

Lily was Snape’s whole world - we’ve seen how jealous he was of her friends, how he probably didn’t take the time to get to know any of them, how he basically didn’t care about anyone else except her - it must have seemed so extraordinary, after years of bullying and neglect, to find this one amazing person who could see him, who cared about him and what he had to say, he very likely didn’t know how to handle it. It was disturbing and sad to read about Snape’s complete incomprehension of Lily’s relationship with Petunia when they were all kids, because those moments highlighted, very clearly, that Snape did not understand unconditional love (which is what a parent’s love should be). He assumed Petunia and Lily stopped loving each other when they were cross with each other, and despised Petunia so much (this girl who couldn’t see beyond his drunk father and mismatched clothes) that he genuinely couldn’t understand Lily’s love for her. That tells us a lot about his relationship with his parents, and ouch. I seem to remember JK Rowling described kid!Snape as ‘a plant someone had left in the dark’, and that just about broke my heart. Snape’s inability to feel secure enough in himself to give people a chance, his obsession for this one person who’d seen the best of him and his deep lack of self-worth culminated, of course, in that dreadful plea to Dumbledore - to keep Lily safe even if James and Harry should die. Dumbledore was horrified, as were we all, but I always disagreed with his immediate reaction (‘Her husband and child can die, as long as you get what you want?’), which was also Voldemort’s reaction after he had killed Lily - I don’t think Snape was hoping, back then, that if James died Lily would come back to him. He must have accepted something between them had broken beyond repair, and, as far as we know, he never made any attempts to sabotage her relationship with James. Personally, I always felt he simply couldn’t conceive of others as being real people with feelings and needs as complex and deep as his own and Lily’s - again, a childish trait and a heritage of how he grew up - and therefore no one else truly mattered, in any way. Which is dreadful, of course, but way more tragic and layered than simply being a jealous dick or a carefree bully. 

There are a number of neglected or abused boys in JK Rowling’s writing, and it’s not random that their faults shine through so clearly: the whole point of the books is to show how peculiar and extraordinary Harry is, because Harry, unlike Snape, unlike Sirius, unlike Pettigrew and Lupin and Voldemort himself, managed to hold on to his instinctive love for others - his empathy, his trust in Good. To use a whovian quote, “All that pain and misery, and loneliness - and it just made him kind.” Sometimes I think we were meant to walk away from this story having learned precisely this - that kindness is a choice, not a trait of character; and that it’s hard, excruciating, at times, to step back from that edge - to let go of those who abused us or taunted us or simply didn’t see us, and choose trust and forgiveness instead. This was Harry’s journey, and it was a profoundly Christian one. But Snape, of course, as the antihero, was always set up to fail and fall.

[brothalynchhung]

2017 overview

FOR FUCKS SAKEEE IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 5 YEARS LMFAOOOO anyways lets goo... this gone be a lot i learned a lot this year

the year started out...

kinda weird tbh like i was in a weird state

i was back to being obsessed following jk/gl lool

it was nice but i got to hopelessly obsessed

but they came back and it really motivated me it made me happy

hes so comforting until this day

he earned so much!! achieved so much! I'm so happy for him

i gained a lot this year too .. in a way

yeah 2017 was weird introspectively...

lot of internal rebuilding...

i did video 1 which was fun i got to make some cool shit and work hard on projects

i met my girl xy lol her talented ass

ate out a lot tbh i was a fatass beginning of 2017 wtf

still am tho wtf who am i kidding 🙄🙄🙄

jus classes with z as usual but winter 2017 was so weird cuz like.. i barely went to any of those classes LOL

video 1 was fun

adv com theories was ass idk how i got a B+ in that class i failed everything LMFAOO

phi was whatever

women and media was weird cuz of that weird girl but we got a good mark so whatever

quantitative LMFAOOO fuck that class and that bitch ass prof i didnt learn shit

other than that personally...i was going through some mental shit.. i felt alone. i felt out of it. i felt regretful

i felt so regretful i felt like shit

i fell into such a nostalgic moment like i just missed everything

jk kinda reminded me of like.. how i was? happy? in 2016 i kinda of left everything and secluded myself in a weird way other than fighting with ayt/mh on some bullshit i just was out of it.. i was chilling with weirdos lol

i was thinking like.. i miss how it is??? I'm not that different? i like all the people from my past why are we not that close

spring day came out.. that hit it. bullseye. 

childish gambinooo....

just really looking back, looking back on who i AM who I WANT to be truly. who i really want to be around and create

i valued my friendships

i was super creative... working on my book, investing in artistic pursuits.. 

i wanted to recreate everything i lost, i wanted to reclaim my trauma with that bitch.

i got to spend fun times with my friends, running around train tracks becoming closer again like how it should have been all along

jk had me looking forward to leaving to dubai

and so i did. 

i tried chasing him there but it didnt really work out

its not really meant to be sr...

he's just an inspiration for what you want and for who u are

the whole groups a blessing lol

even tho i left that shit cuz it got too much and too weird why bitches gotta make shit mediocre🙄

anyways dubai was kinda ass but i got to realize something important... who i miss, who i wanted/wished were with me, who actually cares about me..

WHO ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME

yo sr... if someone really cares.. they'll take the effort. STOP chasing people who don't care.. STOP damaging yourself and the people who love u for people who don't give a fuck

i dropped that bitch so hard i hope she fucking rots in hell

2017 . APRIL 2017 LAST TIME EVER I WILL EVER SEE THIS BITCH. NEVER AGAIN.

my life got so much better.

dubai was a detox but after i came back it was so good

hot as fuck

ramadan lol

fat as fuck -_-

dubai was just weird lol kinda realized its not my place but it was nice(ish)

need to learn not to rely so much on material shit lol

my family is the best

they really tryna teach u and care for u, u will never have another family.

also met nr!!! she was sweet kinda weird tho lMAO the cat shit jesus lol 

misk lol

WENT TO LONDON IT WAS AMAZING I LOVED IT

but fuck... lmao u know what the fuck u did yesterday -_- u DUMB bitch lmao who cares tho (...>_>)

came back... greeted by my friends who care 

chilled with them, adventures with them

but came back.. sorry. sorry to myself. sorry to the people i hurt

ayt, mh

i was thinking about it since winter i knew i had to make it right again, i knew i was wrong, that fucking bitch fucked shit up for us, we could have had so much memories in 2016 if shit didnt go sour

i gave the wrong person another chance they didnt deserve

so i reflected.. and swallowed my fucking pride

apologized. to who i needed to

and u know what? we good. like it was never bad. we good

...thats real. no flop shit, no fake shit, we good. loyalty. blessed.

u really gave the wrong bitch another chance u real did

stupid ass

then it was good.. adventures with my friends, rebuilding, forgetting, growing

together.

beach!! hiking!! badminton in the middle of the streets singing backstreet boys!! lol music!! 

KENDRICK LAMARRR

i made friends w ht again amazing lol

really remade friends w a lot of people lol

kendrick was so good tho fuck he was amazing my eyes were tearing/shining i cried like 5 times LOVE.. PRIDE. fuck those got to me

my ass saw get low live?? by YG fuck i love him too 

best night

amusement parks x3.. lol mtl with my fams..

yo me and lina got so close

i love my family. always.

NTCCCLMAOOOO 

they gave me so much hope after i dropped stb cuz or their weird ass fandom.. i couldn't deal with that shit they're ruining my damn nostalgia. but whatever I'm not gon hate on their success.. jk is still jk to me i hope he reaches the stars with his success

but yeah damn ntc made everything sooo good damn how u not have 1 dime but like 8 LMAO in one group

literally lights of my lifeee

jn😤jh😤hc🍅😩m😤jn😭jm😭WTF BITCH so much possibilities tf

love them they made me so happy

also their fandom is so funnny love the bitches i been following and talking to

anyways i saved up my money a lot but now its like all gone cuz nadas work so idk

UHMMMM I BOUGHT MMM??? WTF BITCH WTF

I WIN IDC I WIN fuck all these bitches

glow up glow the FUCK up

lost a lil weight.. probably gained it all back idk fuck me -.-

since fall 2017.. i been happy.. i got my friends..my groups..

rm, mc, ys💘 

nz,suz,lul,mar💖

prgl,sr,joan💞

hct!

nm💗

ayt

zainb,rame

xiny, jelly

and more...

hearts 4 all I'm just lazy lol

nice to have friends, nice to know there are people who actually like u and care for u and are fun to hang with, nice to know people like u for who u really are unconditionally 

nice to know bitches i hate will never NEVER have that

stay lonely pitiful boring unsuccessful and fake . 

priorities straight. emptying out ugly shit, rebuilding myself and who i am. having fun, fixing my look. investing

music music music GOOD MUSIC

movies movies movies

books books books

those 3 things will never change

unbrainwashing myself

realized so much shit.. istg my glow up is associated with freeing my mind from all this bullshit...

RATHER BE PROUD OF WHO I AM RATHER THAN TRY TO BE SOMETHING IM NOT JUST TO FIT INTO SOME LOWKEY RACIST UGLY BORING BULLSHIT

crazy how deep into my coma i was

BITCH IM BACK OUT OF MY COMA

going forward.. going forward.. investing.. changing... 

mentality shifting.. my image of diserable.. who i want to be 

better important goals, fun goals, fun shit, cool shit, new shit

destroying the fuck bitches who tried to kill me

bunch of fucking losers. 

I'm better now I'm happy now i ended 2017 happy as fuck

i DONT have my gl but i don't need him rn. I'm loved. i love me. my family and friends got me. so until i act on some long awaited shit and gain more resources and achieve more personally UNTIL I'm ready and deserve some shit. then ill get gl. I'm going towards him. 

you're with me.. even when you're away.

hope u feel all this happiness too, hope you're warm, hope you know I'm not where u are right now and hope ur working your way towards me too

ill meet u in the warm .

happy. i spent many nights happy no fights no drama no sadness (other than not having gl i get hopeless being in love with someone i don't know yet but i cant help it)

soon tho dw.. it 2018 now lol

anyways!! i grew so much in 2017 I'm back to who i really am I'm motivated I'm happy I'm inspired I'm ready for the next year

i ended this year losing my bitch ass acne studios scarf!! like a dumb bitch!! so I'm still a dumb bitch!! but who cares -.-

need so stop buying dumb shit.. ill get the trousers when i get a job and the fucking scarf won't matter.. yo ass don't even like scarfs wtf -_-

lool see this optimistic dgaf mentality.. 

CAASH DONT LAST MY FRIENDS WILL RIDE FOR ME

and thats exactly what we did tonight, dance and sing to disney hits and sean paul . happy and careless af 

I GOTTED WHAT I WANTED RIGHT NOWWW 

GOD DOES IT FEEL SO GOOOOD

2018 lets fucking go. I'm ready . I'm going to make so much shit. I'm out my coma, i know what the fuck i want . no more dumb shit, we do dis. LETS FUCKING GOOOO.