#just like. stopped caring about that boundary and just kept talking about the ship in qrts

[romijuli]

Posting this not on the post itself because I feel like ppl will get pissy but

The people tagging “no I just generally don’t like some popular pairings” are missing the POINT it’s not about “why is this pairing popular” (though I’m not gonna say I never ask that lmao) it’s about shipping culture and how it interfaces with both general fandom culture and interactions with the work itself!

[pechaberriesandsoju]

Don't You Dare

This is a re-upload of the original Don't You Dare lyric fic I wrote back when I originally did my self shipping on a side blog. I finally decided to edit it up some more and put it here. I only finally decided to say fuck it and finish it up recently cause I got a bit stumped on my newest lyric fic and I thought this would help. And it kinda did. Also, for those who remember this from my old blog?? HIIII READY TO BE SAD AGAIN?????

Anyways, just like before, this is before Echo changed her name to Echo. Before she became an nsr artist. But it does take place after the main events of the game. And yes, there is a slight crossover mention here because your girl is addicted to crossovers, and it's incurable.

Pink italics are lyrics like before. The song used is Don't You Dare(Make Me Fall In Love With You) by Kaden MacKay.

Anyways, tw: Self Depreciation, blood and injury mentions, lots of angst, character a not noticing and acknowledging the signs that character b genuinely likes them. And possible grammar errors because grammar was never my strong suit.

Divider by @/cafekitsune

Pro.ship and com.ship and what not, do not interact. Respect my boundaries.

Don't you dare make me fall in love with you

Kore knew better. Or she should know better. He's an NSR artist for crying out loud - she's just an assistant.

Her job is to work on security drones and new tech with her father. His job is to sing and dance and make people swoon. He was literally programmed for it, after all. Maybe that's what this was - he was being kind due to his programming. These gestures of kindness are nothing but actions from his "perfect boyfriend" programming. Nothing more, nothing less.

Don't you dare enchant me with those eyes

Yet here she was, still enchanted by those eyes. Those damn glowing green android eyes. Curse Neon J for making them so expressive. She had to give him credit, though. They almost gave her a sense that there was genuine care and curiosity in his eyes. But that could just be her mind tricking her. She shouldn't be getting close anyway.

If I fell through your skies,

There's no way you would catch me

She stopped in her tracks when a hand gently pulled her back, eyes glancing back over her shoulder in time to make eye contact with bright glowing green ones framed by green curls. Shit was all she thought, as he carefully reached for a box she was carrying, a warm smile on his face. "Here, let me help. You looked like you were about to fall." His robotic voice still made her heart soar - she hated it. Kore didn't respond. She kept a straight face and nodded before continuing on, maybe even speeding up a little. She wanted to avoid small talk as much as possible.

There's a tear in my heart,

But your patch wouldn't match me.

She wished he didn't fret over her like this. She wasn't fragile. Yes he was an android and she was...human. Yeah, human. Another reason why they couldn't be together. They're too different. It could lead to issues in the future. Besides there are better humans he could fall for. Ones that weren't as short as her, not as scarred and battered as her. Physically and mentally. Eloni deserves better than her after all.

Being near you still adds to the size of my sighs,

Kore didn't get why he insisted on being near her when they visited. The other 1010 units would stick near by but not as close him. For the fifth time that day she let out a heavy sigh as she moved her line of sight back to the circuit board before her. She couldn't focus with him being so close to her. It made her mind wander to what ifs and maybes- things that wouldn't be possible. Not with him anyways. Not him with her to be exact.

There's still seismic events at hellos and goodbyes,

She hated how her heart ached seeing him have to leave. She hated how her mind tricked her into thinking he genuinely looked disappointed that he was leaving her behind. It wasn't real. It couldn't have been real and she needed to get it through her mind that it wasn't real. They wouldn't match anyways.

She especially hated how her heart leapt when he entered the room. The way it raced when he gave her that damn smile and waved at her like he was genuinely excited to see her. He was just being nice- it's all his programming she reasoned. It's not real.

And I still need reminders of why it's unwise

To stare

Kore cursed to herself when she realized she was staring at him. She only caught herself cause they made eye contact and he immediately smiled and winked at her. She had to pull herself together- this wasn't professional of her. She had to remind herself that it wasn't wise to be falling for him. To not fall for his damn programming. Not read into it. He was just being nice. She needed to pull it together.

So don't you dare

         ⋅⋆∘✯∘⋆⋅

Don't you dare make me fall in love with you

Don't you dare do something so cliché

"Oh stay still." She froze as he reached up to her face, heart racing as he gently pushed back some of her hair out of her face, fingers barely grazing her skin as he pulled away, a warm smile on his face. "There we go, wouldn't want that to get in the way as you work." He teased lightly, her chest growing warm from the action.

How long had these feelings been chewing away at her? They definitely got worse over time. She hated how it got harder to fight off. When he would make silly faces across the room to try and make her smile. She hated when it actually worked. And she hated how it made her heart race when he gave her that smile every time they saw each other. She hated how he genuinely brought a smile to her face and made her laugh. She hated how it made her fall for him more. It wasn't fair.

Just get out of my daydreams,

You're an unwelcome guest

Kore jolted with a start as she realized she was spacing out again. Her thoughts had turned into daydreams of what ifs again. Another dangerous habit she's developed ever since these feelings showed up. She couldn't let them distract her this much. It was bad for her work. Gold eyes glanced down to her sketchbook in front of her, widening at the sight of a small faint beginnings of a sketch of Eloni on the corner of her work. She muttered a curse under her breath as she quickly erased it. Her cheeks warm as she got rid of the evidence of her feelings.

And stop making me miss you

'Cause you leaving's for the best

She hated how she missed him. How she longed for him to walk through the door during those long weeks. How she wished he was there to make silly faces, and send absurd memes and videos to her during meetings, anything to make her break into silent giggles or snickers. She hated how her heart ached for him during these periods of time. It lead to more distractions. Distractions lead to more errors and more errors lead to more work.

'Cause I just couldn't stand having you as my crutch

The idea of blaming him for her errors felt unfair. But the emotions he was putting her through made it feel like it was justified. But Kore kept fighting it. She kept fighting the feelings. She should know better. She knows better. She'd hold him back. He didn't deserve to be held back.

You're a simmering stovetop, I was tempted to touch

But god, did she hate how she felt how relaxed she felt when he showed up the next day. She wouldn't admit how her heart almost leaped out of her chest when he sat next to her during the meeting. She wouldn't admit how she struggled to pay attention to Tatiana, Neon J, and Tony talking over the next upgrades and blueprints. She would definitely refuse to admit how her heart stuttered for a second when she felt his hand brush against hers under the table. How she fought back the blush the grew on her face when she saw his smile grow in the corner of her eye. How part of her wanted to reach for his hand, and just hold it, but then it came rushing back. She shouldn't. She couldn't. It wasn't real. It's the programming, Kore, she reminded herself. She would never admit how her chest ached when she pulled her hand away, and how she swore she saw his smile falter when she pulled away. It was more than likely a trick of the light. Why would he be disappointed about it? It's not like he actually really cared about her. It's more than likely a game to him anyway.

If you ever return, it'll burn me too much

To bear

Another distraction was another mistake - she hissed when she pulled her hand back, tools going scattering to the table as she stood up abruptly. Her hand stung from the hot metal. Even if it was touching her for a second, it burned. As she quickly made her way to a sink in the warehouse, it reminded her of why it wouldn't work between them. She was too accident prone, more these days now that he occupied her thoughts. It would be disastrous for him to be with someone who got injured as much as her. No one would want to be stuck with someone like her. She ignored how her chest and eyes burned at the thought as she ran her hand under cold water. It was a fact, after all. And you can't argue with facts.

So don't you dare

      ⋅⋆∘✯∘⋆⋅

And I know it's all so shallow, but a shallow cut still stings

Watching 1010 performances and interviews made her chest hurt. Alot. It was selfish of her to feel a type of jealousy when others held his attention. She knew it was selfish of her because he didn't return the feelings. She knew this by now. He just wanted to be friends. And she had been a shallow, selfish person for falling for him and that programming of his that made him this nice. For reading into it too much. She hated it, but it stung her heart so much. And she hated how it stung.

And before my heart becomes Amelia's heir, I need to clip its wings

"Fuck fuck fuck.."She cursed to herself as she stared at the page,  filled with sketches of him. This was getting out of hand. She couldn't be in love with him, she shouldn't be in love with him. He didn't even feel the same way towards her.  She swallowed her heart for once and ripped the page out of the sketchbook. She ignored how her heart started to ache as she crumpled the page and tossed it out. She ignored the tears that filled up her eyes as she slammed the sketchbook shut and stormed out of the warehouse. She ignored the ache all the way back home. She ignored it as long as she could. She had to after all.

So don't you dare keep mocking me with those

Thousand little things that I adore

Eloni made it hard to ignore these feelings every time he and his brothers visited. He'd always try to stick by her side when he wasn't rough housing with his brother or talking to the other NSR artists or B2J. He'd be sitting nearby as she sat on the ground, elbow deep in a bouncer drone, immediately handing her a tool she was reaching for when she didn't ask for it. Always helping without prompting. He kept talking to her about his day or about something that reminded him of her or showing her memes and videos that he thought would make her laugh. And it always brought a smile to her face no matter how much she tried to fight it. He made it difficult when he always helped her up from the ground when she didn't need it. Everything he did....she adored it. And she hated it. It made it harder to distance herself from him. From her feelings for him.

Let me ignore you, don't let me care

She tried to ignore him. Tried to distance herself as much as possible. She ignored how it it hurt her. How it made her feel awful doing this to him. But she had to stop this somehow. It was a difficult task but she had to if she wanted to spare him from her one sided attraction. She was almost successful for the day. Until the turrent drone they were testing started to malfunction. Mostly everyone got out of the way in time- except for him. She knew he could be easily repaired but she couldn't stand by and watch.

She acted before she could think. She didn't even realize she shouted his name as she tackled him out of the way. It only sunk in what she had done when she opened her eyes too look down at him, almost in the same position they were in when they first met. This time was different. She was the one above him this time, bright green eyes staring up at her in shock. Her heart stopped for a second when she saw a red droplet fall on his face, but then she remembered. Androids don't bleed. But she does.

The adrenaline started to fade, the stinging in the back of her neck came rushing in, the feeling of warm blood dripping down her neck registered not too long after. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she stared down at him with a straight face, ignoring how her body shook as she started to push herself backwards to sit on her legs, hand reaching to cover the shallow cut on the back of her neck, fingers brushing past what was left of her hair to try to stop the bleeding.

"Guess we're even now." She stated, ignoring the pain in her neck as the blood seeped through her fingers down her back, and how the ache in her chest came back. How guilt consumed her, dread of what would come next slowly creeping in.

    ⋅⋆∘✯∘⋆⋅

And don't you dare leave me still in love with you

It had been a week or so since the incident. Her neck had healed a few days after it had happened, but Tony insisted she rest longer. It was probably him worrying over her as her father, but more than likely, it was to keep the others from worrying and wondering about such a fast recovery. She was grateful for the time away, though. Yet it was also hell. The aching feeling came back when she realized she missed him. Kore tried to distract herself from how much she missed him as much as possible. It worked until he started texting her. Then it got harder. He'd check up on her, send her updates on what his brothers and his day were like, and wish her a speedy recovery. It warmed her heart yet made the ache so much worse. She hated it. She hated how she was still in love with him.

Nothing's fair when love is war

She responded to the texts at first, but it made her hurt more. So she gradually started to keep quiet. It made her feel guilty. It made her feel sick. Not as sick as the thoughts of how this was more than likely him being kind out of pity. It must have been. Or this was some sort of sick game. Some bet he lost or something. It didn't feel fair though.

And I just can't endure any more of the fight

It felt like a losing battle the longer she went on. The aching pain in her chest wouldn't leave, the doubt that he ever cared dug it's claws deep in her and refused to let go.They both made it hard to sleep. Hard to focus on anything. Made it easier for her to space out and think of those damn what ifs. They got cruel over time, reminding her of how they were never meant to be, should never be and could never be. She was exhausted from it all.

When the casualties rise with my heart rate each night

Then the gift came in. It made her heart sink and race all at once. Especially when Tony confirmed it was from Eloni. Part of her didn't want to open it. The other part was consumed with curiosity and was touched by this. Yet she was hesitant to open it as it sat on her bedroom desk. Her heart felt like it would burst out of her chest as she carefully opened it. Gently removing the soft grey and green tissue paper, her eyes widened at the sight of a plush bunny. It looked familiar to her. Then she remembered. Eloni was with her when she was looking at the listing for it. They talked about it for a while - she never got it in the end. Kore claimed it probably wasn't a good idea anyway, so why give into another childish desire.

Her eyes began to water, she acted quick and blinked them away as she gingerly took the plush out of the box, as if it would fall apart if she wasn't careful, like it was an illusion somehow. It was bigger than she thought, much softer too. Her fingers ran over the grey fur, gliding over the transition to pink fur on the left side of its face. She let out a sigh as she moved to sit on her bed, thoughts of doubt starting to speedily sneak up on her again. They sunk in faster than she expected, tears filling her vision as her mind raced with the thoughts and shame for even believing something like this would mean anything more.

Though I know I'm to blame for the glances I'd steal,

For the time I kept spending pretending it's real

She knew it was her fault as the tears streamed down her face, dripping down her chin. Her grip on the plush tightened as she brought it closer to her chest, body shaking as she let out a strangled sob. This was all her fault, for believing any of her hopes of being with him could be real. That there was a chance that he truly loved her the same way she loved him. The "perfect boyfriend" programming he had did its job- it made her fall for him no matter how hard she tried to convince herself she wasn't in love. She had fallen for an fantasy and now she was paying for it.

And now that it's ending, I still have more feelings to spare

The sobs slowly started to become to much for her, she fell backwards onto her bed, hold on the bunny plush still tight as she laid there staring at the ceiling with blurry vision. Kore mentally cursed at herself for falling for him, wishing she only saw him as a friend like he saw her. She wished it didn't hurt as much as it did. That her heart didn't ache so much over him. And she dreaded how the ache would haunt her when she goes back to work, and would double every time she saw him. She wished it had been easier to ignore him, to just not care. Maybe then her heart wouldn't be broken if she had just kept her walls up.

The wishing turned into hoping as she hoped she would be able to keep this under wraps. She didn't want to ruin what they had. Even if part of her was tempted to ruin it, just for a chance to admit how she truly feels about him. She didn't want to risk it. It wouldn't be fair. But it already wasn't fair, he had made her fall for him inadvertently just by being kind to her. It was too late now.It wasn't fair for him. It wasn't fair for either of them.

But don't you dare

How dare he, no- how dare she fall for him like this. How dare she fall for someone as perfect as him when she knew the risks.

Don't you dare

[ripjulie-gone]

Okay so I really, really didn't want to have to make this post and it took me… a lot to get to this point and i thought about it last night whether or not it would even do any good but in the end… well. i need to stop letting people walk all over me and drag me through the mud after everything i've done for them.

now, this post isn't meant as a callout or to have anyone "choose sides" or any of that childish stuff. it's just me being able to defend myself from the shit being said about me. i don't care who anyone is friends with or writes with. that's not my business nor is it my prerogative to dictate that kind of stuff. both can exist peacefully.

and yes, i will be naming who it is that is causing shit, because for once she needs to be held responsible and accountable for her actions.

so i've been dealing with some shit the past couple months and i guess it finally came to a head?? i don't know who has seen abi's ( wiredsmile + about a dozen other blogs ) post yesterday about me basically casting her aside and using her just when i need her. well all of that is bullshit.

now, i do have receipts for everything i'm going to be saying but because the point of this is NOT a callout, if you want to see them i am more than happy to send them to you privately.

i'm also prepared to lose a lot ( more ) people because of this, but i needed to at least try and defend myself. to show that i'm not some heartless person like i'm being made out to be.

there's a reason i severed the friendship between us. on three separate occasions she had betrayed my trust and tried to start shit amongst our shared friend group. she has actively tried to turn people against me ( and still is apparently ). she's also lied about what i've said and did on numerous occasions.

i have never cast her aside, but when she broke my trust not once… not twice.. but three times, it grew harder and harder to stay as close to her as i once was. i tried to let it slide, i did. because she was one of my best friends, but it kept happening and then i kept being made to feel bad because I was the one being distant and making her feel bad.

when she should have felt bad.

i had approached her about this behavior after every time it happened. and i thought maybe my boundaries would finally be acknowleged but alas.. it would happen again.

but what really sealed the deal was the fact that we were in a group verse together where is where i made my oc ( bandit ) and we shipped together and it was fine. well the group kind of dissolved and other ones rose. well, i decided to branch out my oc and explore some ships with him and she got mad at me because i wasn't shipping with her with this one character in this one verse ( we were shipping outside of that, it was just this one verse ), and then decided to talk shit behind my back to people and try and steal my friends just so she could flaunt them in front of me.

it got worse when things shifted to another verse. i was made to feel guilty about who i wrote with, who i shipped with, and who i was friends with.

we lost most contact when she started something horrible between me and a couple friends of mine and i came to her privately about it and she gave me a cookie cutter apology ( she also sent the same one, verbatim to one of the other ones she lied about ), but i was on vacation at the time and could not reply to it fast enough. by the time i did, i was unfriended on discord and blocked across tumblr and that's when she went on her run of playing the victim about how she was cast to the side and treated so badly.

she got someone else, evie ( who had also been a friend of mine ) to make a julie blog ( deadlysmile ) and all but lifted my blog for it, including the url and started saying how horrible she was being treated.

when i tried talking to her about it, because it bothered me because i have worked hard on julie and i had done a lot to build a world with both my julie and her suzie. she blocked me and again, tried to play the victim and dragged the friend in as well who called me names on a vague post.

so that brings us to the now.

now she's saying i treated her horribly and i used her and none of that is true. she was one of my best friends and i loved her. i supported her however i could. emotionally.. financially. whatever she needed i did my very best to help. i never cast her aside or suzie or any of her muses. i never used her just for my own enjoyment. i never did any of that. i was the best friend i could be until she stabbed me in the back and even then i gracefully bowed out. i never said anything bad about her, i didn't drag her name. i didn't do any of that. i simply cut ties with her because that was what i needed for my own mental health.

i try and be good to everyone around me. i try to be the best friend i can be. and it upsets me and breaks my heart to see myself get dragged and lied about for things i never even did.

so if you made it this far, thank you. i love you all.

[lnterjection]

on hermit shipping there is was an account on tumblr called @hermitcraft-boundaries that had a master doc of shipping boundaries. It is neutral/positive towards shipping and was first created as @actual-hermitcraft-boundaries in response to the original URL being used to argue negatively towards shipping. Either way, the account is gone now it seems, but you can still find it's pinned post here.

Hello! This is a very late reply because I do not check my Tumblr regularly anymore (or like... at all, it seems). Sorry to the other people who submitted stuff to my inbox in 2022... I fear it is too awkward to respond to you guys now but know that your words are appreciated.

So! Since I made my original post about Hermit Shipping boundaries, some new stuff has been said and other stuff been made to my attention (as in, various tweets, clips, private message screenshots, etc from the Hermits about this topic), some of which are in the Google Doc Ichi linked here and some of which I have found elsewhere after a little digging. After sorting through what I have found, the general consensus still seems to be among the Hermits who have spoken on the issue that they want shipping content kept away from them and filterable, but that they don't want people who produce shipping content harassed or asked to take their stuff down and don't really care as long as they don't see it. Please note that harassment is just not okay in general.

Grian and Pearl have both expressed discomfort with the idea of being shipped and Pearl has asked people to not ship her as it makes things awkward between her and her fellow hermits. This is in line with the "do not show the hermits shipping content or talking about wanting to ship hermits around them". We do have to note that there is a distinction between character Pearl and CC! Pearl. I think it's up to the individual to decide how comfortable they are with this, with the hard line that no one should ever show Pearl or any of the Hermits shipping content including her, and do their best to make sure it's filterable. I've also found clips of Gem talking about shipping - older ones saying to not ship her and a newer one saying she's been a less against it recently as long as she doesn't see it, because her main source of discomfort with shipping was chat and people in general talking/asking about her being in a relationship with any man she interacts with, and that recently people have calmed down about it. Please note while I distinctly remember watching this clip, I have not managed to find it again so do not take this as hard fact. I will try to scrounge up the clip eventually (and if anyone knows what I'm talking about please let me know).

Also note that while I watch Hermitcraft episodes, I don't watch streams live (I only watch the occasional VOD), check Tumblr like once a year now, and have stopped being on Twitter completely (not that I was really active there to begin with). When I research for this sort of stuff, I first use Google to help me find sources, and then sometimes ask around on tumblr blogs and discords. Please don't expect me to be "in the know" about what's going on in the fandom right now.

At some point I should probably make a follow-up post going into detail all the other stuff I've found, but as anyone still paying attention to this blog can see, I am no longer active in this fandom (or any fandom). I am still an avid fan of Hermitcraft content and am up to date on everything (as in, I've watched the Season 9 perspective of several hermits from beginning to end and am as excited about Season 10 as the next person), but due to becoming a college student, simply don't have as much time or energy to write as much as I used to. Hopefully it doesn't take another year for me to make a proper post again.

And thanks, Ichi! Sorry it took so long for me to reply (I just saw this in my inbox today, because I haven't check my Tumblr since like... July or August).

[treesnutsandleaveswrites]

Real

Pairing: The Bad Batch x Reader (Polyam)

Summary: The Captains settle into the bunker with you and the Batch

Warning: ANGST, SMUT, 18+, P in V sex, fingering, MDNI, descriptions of dead animals

Word Count: 2347

A/N: Sorry, I know it’s been a while. Was dealing with school and stuff. xoxo

pt xxv, pt xxvii

XXXXXXX

You all sat around the cramped table of the bunker, eating and talking. You were helping Howzer clean up and ease the aches of his bruises with some measly cloths soaked in water. Gregor was causing a ruckus with Wrecker and Omega at one end of the table while Hunter, Echo, and Rex were deep in conversation about recent events. Tech was working on some spare parts that he plans to add to the speeder.

“Is that alright?” You asked, applying light pressure against the bruises on his knuckles. He nodded, eyes wavering as the others talked. There was a swelling thought in his pupils, but you didn’t want to break any boundaries. You could hardly imagine what the Empire had done to him. You and Hunter were lucky enough to just be kept in cells after getting captured. They must’ve inflicted punishments for Howzer’s action of going against orders. You looked up at him, forgetting about his tainted knuckles. You had noticed the small scar against his head and hummed.

“Rex told you about the chips then?”

Howzer nodded, stoic and silent. That must have been what was bothering him the most. From what little time you spent with Howzer, you noticed how resilient and loyal he was. However, you knew he had different morals that went against what the Empire--even the Republic--stood for. You placed the damp cloths in the small bowl next to you and grabbed it.

“Try to eat a bit more.” You insisted softly before heading to the refresher. You wrung out the cloths and hung them to dry, then went back to join the others.

“Lodestar used to stay here with a bounty hunter!” Omega explained to Gregor, which caused Rex to furrow his brows.

“Is that true?”

You nodded, “I had to do some work with the guild after I left… just to get some credits.”

He hummed, sipping his drink. Omega looked over to you, “Why can’t we just hideout here? Forget Ord Mantell! Staying here would be great!”

You shook your head, “We can’t do that, Meg.”

“Why not? You know this place well, the people know you. We can just live here.”

“We need credits, Omega-” Hunter started.

“Lodestar said she gets credits from the town when she sells them the game she hunts.”

“It doesn’t pay a lot, Meg.” You explained.

“Then maybe we can look deeper in the forest, find some bigger animals.”

“Omega, this town doesn’t rely too much on credit sometimes. The people here don’t have a lot to begin with.” You insisted.

“There must be other towns then.” She urged.

“The next town is nearly on the other side of the planet.”

“We’ll use the Marauder.”

Tech spoke up, “I’ve concluded that our ship is a bit too recognizable now.”

“We use it all the time when we do jobs for Cid, what’s the difference?” Omega asked, “Maybe we can find jobs without Cid, or maybe join the bounty hunters!”

“Omega, that’s enough.” You said sternly.

“But why? Why can’t we try something else?”

“We aren’t going to affiliate ourselves with the guild.”

“You’re already affiliated with them!”

“Omega-”

“Like you said: you took jobs that didn’t involve killing anyone.”

“Please, Meg-”

“We could do that-”

“Omega, stop it!” You snapped, causing a pregnant silence. Omega looked at you with confliction and you sighed, “I… I wish we could give you a normal life. Live like Cut and Suu do… but we can’t, Omega. Being in the guild doesn’t guarantee our safety. As a bounty hunter, you do things for money, not morals. People did things for the Republic and for the separatists. I’m sure now bounty hunters are willing to do jobs for the Empire since the Republic is gone… We do things for Cid because she can keep secrets. The Guild doesn’t care about secrets unless you can profit from it.” You looked back at her, “Cid is our best option. We can’t stay here.”

“You’re just saying that.” Omega huffed.

“I’m saying it because it’s true. It’s not what I want, Omega! It’s what keeps us safe!”

“Then you can go off and do that with whoever wants to join you! Take the Marauder if you have to, that’ll be safer, right?”

You shook your head, “Lets… let's just get some rest.” You gathered the empty plates and bowls then put them in the sink, “We can talk more in the morning.”

“You’re just scared.” Omega scowled.

“Yes, I’m scared!” You tossed the dishes down into the sink, causing some to break, “And I have good reason to be! I don’t ever want you to know what life is with the guild. What it’s like taking another life! Watching people die!” You gasped on your breath before gathering yourself again, “There are no guarantees out here, Omega. It’s just one decision after another, you don’t always get what you want. Before this, we had the war… Every person here can tell you that it was just the same. And that life you want? It may never be real. Now get some rest.”

Omega turned away, “I hate you.”

Everyone was taken back by her response. Hunter was about to say something, but you spoke up.

“Fine. You can hate me all you want, but that won’t stop me or you from getting on that ship and heading back to Ord Mantell when the time comes.”

Silence filled the bunker again as you walked out and Omega tucked herself into bed. Hunter tried to follow you, but Rex stopped him and gestured to Omega. The Sergeant nodded and sat on the bed while the Captain exited the bunker.

*******

You walked past the holo shield, tears streaming down your face. There was only one place you wanted to be at that moment. You made your way through the vegetation of the forest and walked a bit longer until you reached a large tree then fell to your knees in front of it. You sat there silently, not bothering to turn when rustling came closer. Rex stepped into the small clearing to see you at the base of the tree. He came closer and another thing came into view. It was a stick holding up an old helmet, causing images to flash in his mind. He crouched next to you and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Was this the bounty hunter you were staying with?”

You nodded weakly, fixing the flowers that were laid out against the makeshift grave. Rex looked around in the dim light of the lantern he brought with him and saw two other makeshift graves under the trees nearby.

“His wife and daughter…” You whispered, “They all lived here together. They died a month before he met me. I guess I provided the company he missed…”

Rex nodded gently before speaking, “Just give it some time… Omega isn’t like her brothers…”

“I know.” You whispered.

You both took a moment before Rex stood and held out his hand for you to grab it. You smiled graciously before taking it and standing up.

“Thanks, Captain.”

He nodded before you both headed back to the bunker.

*******

The next day, you were getting ready to go hunting with Rex, Wrecker, and Hunter. You sheathed your knife and picked up the small bag with bait and tools for traps. Howzer, Echo, and Gregor were going to work on the speeder a bit more while Tech and Omega were going to figure out what was wrong with AZI.

“We’ll try to be back in an hour.” Hunter announced before walking out with Rex. You looked back at Omega, who was focused on AZI. Wrecker nudged you gently which urged you to walk out before him. You walked deeper into the forest with them, thinking quietly.

“Ad’ika?” Wrecker called, which made you look up. The others were looking at you expectantly.

“Sorry, did you say something?”

“You know these woods better than us, is there a good place we can start the hunt?”

You looked around for a moment before nodding, “Let’s go this way.”

You all walked for another half hour or so before stopping at a certain spot. Everyone started to set up and wait for anything to pass by. You were helping Hunter set a trap while Rex and Wrecker set up a good hiding place for you all. You all laid on your stomachs and watched through the bushes while waiting.

“How long is this gonna take?” Wrecker groaned which caused you to smile.

“Wanna go out there as bait?” You offered, which caused Rex and Hunter to chuckle.

You all waited until there was some rustling nearby. It was in the trap you had set up with Hunter. You both looked at each other before nodding, then Hunter got up quietly while making his way towards the trap. A small squeak resonated before it went quiet and Hunter came back into view with the dead creature in his hands. He placed it into the sack before laying back down with the rest of you. It was another hour that passed and Wrecker was starting to doze off while you all waited. In that time, a few more traps were set and some more small creatures were caught. From the position of the sun, you knew that the bigger animals were going to get closer to this area. Rex was generous enough to go back to the bunker to get some lunch, so it was just you, Hunter, and Wrecker. Suddenly, Hunter’s vambrace clicked and he answered.

“Hunter, Tech needs you back here for a sec. Something about the Marauder.” Rex disclosed.

“Alright, be there soon.” He responded before cutting out.

“We’ll be good here. Take all the time you need.” You affirmed.

He nodded and looked at Wrecker who gave him a small nod. He then got up and headed back to the bunker, leaving you and Wrecker alone. You two were laying in your hiding places in silence, still waiting for any animals to pass by. Wrecker groaned and turned onto his back, looking at the canopy of the trees.

“Sorry, love.” You laughed sheepishly.

“It’s alright, ad’ika. I told Hunter I wanted to get good at this.” He sighed.

“You’ve gotten pretty far, to be honest. I’ve never really seen you so patient, unless it had to do with any detonators.”

Wrecker couldn’t help but laugh and turn his head to you, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

You nodded before laying your head against your folded arms, “It’s nice to have some time to ourselves…”

He hummed before moving to lay himself on top of you, which took you by surprise. You let out a small gasp as he wrapped one arm around you and used the other to hold himself up so not all his weight was on you. He dug his head into your neck to kiss and suck on the skin.

“Wreck-”

“Sh… we don’t want to scare the animals…” He muttered, moved your hair away, and bit at your shoulder.

You let out a small whimper as he propped himself onto his knees and started to move his hands down to your waist. He moved your pants and underwear down your ass before grabbing the soft flesh to squeeze it in his hands.

“Kriff, ‘s been so long, ad’ika…”

“I know, Wreck.” You whispered.

He brought two of his fingers to his mouth before sucking them and lubing them up with his saliva, then teased your slit before sinking them into you, which caused you to cry out. He took his other hand to cover your mouth and brought his lips to your ear.

“Sh… you have to be quiet, ad’ika.” He chuckled, “Be quiet for me…”

You nodded, which led him to move his hand away and place it back on your waist as he moved his fingers gently.

“I could never forget how tight you are, ad’ika…” He muttered, admiring his now glistening digits, “Can’t wait to feel you around my cock again.”

You held in your whimpers and moans as he continued to finger you before pulling them out. He then moved his hands towards your mouth.

“Be a good girl, ad’ika.” He ordered, which caused you to open your mouth so you could suck his fingers clean. You whimpered and gagged on them as he moved his own pants down and pumped his cock. He spit on his hand and spread it along his shaft before teasing your entrance.

“You ready, baby?” He checked in on you, which made you nodded rapidly while gasping when he pulled his fingers out of your mouth.

He held himself up on his knees and gripped your waist to raise your cunt higher, then sank his cock into you. You let out a strangled cry as he stretched you out.

“Been so long, ad’ika..” He grunted, relishing the nearly suffocating feeling of your cunt around him, “You can still take all of me, I know it.”

*******

You walked back to the bunker with Wrecker, who had a large animal over his shoulders while you carried the sack of smaller animals. Hunter had just exited the bunker as you both approached.

“Wow, looks like you scored big.” He remarked, patting the large creature’s hide.

“You could say that.” You shrugged while glancing at Wrecker, who hadn’t stopped smiling since you left the hunting site. All of you made your way into the bunker after leaving what you hunted outside to skin later. Everyone was busying themselves with different things while you went into the refresher. You stood at the sink, looking at yourself in the mirror. You could still feel Wrecker’s release dripping out of you, which made your stomach flutter in nervousness and excitement. None of the other boys knew about your implant… and you didn’t have the heart to tell them. Now you were relying on empty prayers--you cursed yourself for being so reckless. You sighed and washed your face in cold water before leaving the ‘fresher to join everyone else.

XXXXXXX

Taglist:

@darkangel4121 @lightning-wolffe @alucas528 @rintheemolion @shadowfoxey @butch-medusae @gabile18 @incandescentlywarm @echo-is-worth-more-than-2000

[abschaumno1]

On fandom, shipping and boundaries

Since I have seen a lot of talk about boundaries and shipping over the last couple days, and because that has led to me doing a lot of thinking on it/ I just wanted to share my few cents on the topic.

For those who haven’t seen me talk about this before I should probably mention that I’ve been in fandom for over ten years and in RPF spaces for six years now. So that’s the background that informs my opinions.

So let’s get into this.

Most of the arguments I see center around the opinion that we as fans need consent from content creators to essentially do anything in fandom. Which is right where it starts for me to be honest.

Fandom is and has always been a subculture where fans of a thing meet and exchange their ideas and create art and fic and all sorts of other transformative works for each other. Emphasis on “for each other”.

As a fan I am in fandom spaces to talk to other people who like the same things I do, and I am in fandom spaces to share with other fans what I create based on the things we like (fanfic in my personal case).

Over the past ten years I have watched the increasing shift towards where fandom is more out in the open, and where fans apparently feel like they can and should approach creators with the things they used to share in fandom circles. Obviously some creators have made it clear that they don’t have a problem with that, have actively encouraged it, or admitted to seeking it out to some extend. I think the most famous example for this is probably Bryan Fuller and his enthusiasm about Hannibal fandom in general and Hannigram fanworks in particular, or Mads Mikkelsen, who to my knowledge has publicly admitted to reading (and liking) explicit Hannigram fic. They made that decision for themselves and I think that’s great for them.

Now here’s also the heart of the issue for me. Because I am a very strong believer in the fourth wall, meaning that there is fandom and then there is the spaces where we get to interact with the creators (cons, more recently social media accounts), and yes, sometimes those things intersect, but that does not mean the fourth wall is and should be disregarded.

Shipping especially (since that’s the reason I am writing this post) is a subset of fandom. Not everyone in fandom ships; not everyone in fandom wants to ship. And that’s completely fine. We’re all here to have fun and we all look for different things from what we do in fandom. But at no point does that entitle any of us to demand others to cater to what we personally want from fandom. And at no point does any of this mean we should feel like we have to ask for permission to do the things we do.

Fandom is not just transformative, it is transgressive. Modern fandom, especially modern slash fandom got popularised by women writing queer content about Star Trek in the 1970s (the first published slash story was published in a zine in 1974). And yes, there are cases where I would argue for being publicly transgressive, but I do not think that this should apply to fandom, and being transgressive means that I can and will do things without regard to what any creator wants me to do.

And this is where we go back to the fourth wall and the question of boundaries. I have seen a trend in Hermitcraft fandom specifically where people approach content creators to ask them what their boundaries are and compile lists of who is fine with what. And that in itself crosses a boundary for me.

See one of the most important things I learned in fandom in general, and in Hockey RPF specifically is that the fourth wall is one of the most important boundaries we have in fandom. Shipping is for us. Not for the creators or the professionals involved. And I will be honest with you, none of the shippers I know in Hermitcraft fandom actively share their shippy stuff with creators. In fact, a lot of them feel uncomfortable at the mere suggestion that any of the Hermits could read or see their shipping content.

Asking the Hermits (and other content creators) what they think about shipping and whether they are okay with it is crossing that boundary, and in my personal opinion it shows a disregard for the content creators these “fans” presumably care about. If you actually want to respect them, just keep that stuff away from them. They are adults, if they happen to find it they can decide to ignore it. And if they decide not to ignore it then that is their own decision. A decision they can make for themselves, because once again, they are adults.

But people will use even ambiguous statements or non-statements and twist them to mean what they think they should mean and then go and harass people who kept this content to their own circles and sharing it with others who want to see it and try to tell them what they can and cannot do. They will tell you “I don’t speak for them” and then tell you that the only way to read a statement is their way. The moment you take an ambiguous statement or a statement that has never been made and say "this means that" without letting the person in question clarify, you are attempting to speak for them. And no, this does not mean I want people to ask the Hermits for clarification. I want people to not bring this up with the Hermits at all

And I have seen the concept of consent being brought up in this context and I am just going to say it: The concept of consent does not apply here.

The concept of consent as used by anti-shippers and yes, also shippers insistent on respecting these boundaries, whether they are correctly interpreted or not, is the concept of consent we apply to s*xual encounters. And that concept does not apply here. At all.

Consent as applied to s*xual encounters is a legal tool used to determine whether an encounter was unconsensual and thus breaking the law, or not.

I have seen an analogy being thrown around where creating shipping content without being told by the person you create it about that they are okay with it is the same as walking up to a stranger and holding their hand without asking if they are okay with it.

This analogy is false.

A more fitting analogy would be this: You see a stranger and you would like to hold their hand. You walk up to them to ask if you can, potentially making them feel uncomfortable. This is what people asking Hermits about whether they are okay with shipping are doing.

Or you could quietly draw art of yourself holding the stranger's hands or write about it, and not show it to them, meaning they will never know, which has literally no effect on them whatsoever. This is what shippers are already doing.

We all have fantasies. It's human to have fantasies. There is nothing wrong with that. The moment this becomes an issue is when we ignore the boundaries of the objects of our fantasies and tell them about them unsolicited.

Another thing I want to make abundantly clear here is the following: The Hermits are not your friends.

They may be accessible online and they may even talk to fans online, but they are not our friends. We know as much as they are willing to share publicly. Nothing more and nothing less. What we know about and of them is a public persona. And yes, that persona may or may not include aspects of their real personalities, but at the end of the day they are effectively strangers.

Accessibility online does not mean we are entitled to cross boundaries we would not cross in real life either. And someone talking to you about something unrelated does not make you entitled to ask them frankly invasive questions about things they might not have encountered or put much thought into without you asking those questions.

Furthermore, I would like us all to remember what happened when ZombieCleo came out and told anti-shippers that they should stop harassing shippers. This fandom has a history and considering that history, I am not surprised when Hermits give ambiguous statements or try to avoid saying anything, even ignoring for a moment that it's invasive. If I had witnessed people bully my friend and that same community is now asking me to state my opinion on the same issue I would think twice about how to reply. Especially if I rely on that same community for part of my income.

This is a lot of text already and I could probably find more to say but I'll wrap it up here. If you have any concerns or want to discuss points further my ask box is open. Just don't be an asshole.

[mariaiscrafting]

no, you know what, I’m going to stop vague’ing on the dash. my anger is about to get extremely direct and enraged, so fair warning, but I don’t care about anyone’s comfort right now. I’m going to get fucking mad, and you all will fucking deal.

not a single one of us has the right, or should even have the option, to guess about ccs’ sexualities. I’ve kept my mouth shut when it comes to people analyzing george/dream and guessing they’re some kind of queer, but I’m fucking done. I’m going to go into every single reason “truthing” about ccs’ sexualities is just so beyond fucked.

first of all, this is in response specifically to ranboo and tubbo truthing. being a kid and getting thrown into such a massive spotlight, where you will undoubtedly be subject to some fuck shit eventually because the internet is full of thousands upon thousands of people, is already terrifying and anxiety-inducing and damaging enough. but for their own audiencemembers - their own supposed fucking “fans” - to take it one step further and speculate about their sexualities? oh, for the love of god. I can barely believe I even have to explain how fucked that is. it is one thing to be friends with or close to someone in real life and recognize your own queer struggle in them, to approach them with sympathy and support in case they are questioning. it is another thing entirely to speculate about the sexuality of someone you don’t even know, and to then take it a step further and “truth” about your fucking theories. you are not an expert, you are not their friend, and you are not a fucking oracle. you can guess all you want about a cc’s sexuality, you can comment on how their actions or behaviors or words resonate with you when you were questioning or closeted, but to go ahead and take your own speculation as truth is arrogant, presumptous, and damaging as all hell. 

I can just imagine what it would’ve been like if I’d grown an online platform that ripped me of my privacy when I was a teenager and trying to figure out my own sexuality. if I had a section of my audience analyzing my every social media post, the inflection in my voice and the nature of my laughs, my every interaction with my best friend, you know what I would’ve done? retreated so far into the closet that I would probably have tricked myself into thinking I was heterosexual. I would’ve been so fucking terrified and felt so stripped of any privacy or control I had over my own goddamn thoughts; do you understand how fucking vile that is? have none of you ever been terrified of giving away your own sexuality through your mannerisms and facial expressions and words, while you were closeted? have none of you ever experienced that utter fucking terror when you notice someone start to question your sexuality, the immediate urge to retreat and back up and act and believe the complete opposite just to prove them wrong and go back to the safety and security of them believing you were straight? for fuck’s sake, now imagine that feeling amplified a hundred fold, applied not just to one instance or one person in your life, but to thousands. do y’all not understand just how a) morally fucked it is to inflict this same kind of practice onto someone you supposedly care about and support, and b) potentially psychologically damaging this could be to ccs who are closeted, especially the fucking minors? oh my fucking god.

that isn’t even to point out why people do this shit - which is to project and find solace and derive some kind of enjoyment out of cc’s. that’s what cc’s are there for; they are entertainers, first and foremost, which continues outside of streams and bleeds into fandom culture and the kind of enjoyment fans can make out of interacting with other fans and creating their own fan content. the problem with this fact is that fans take it too far, like 85% of the time. cc’s aren’t just there for our own enjoyment. they are fucking people, oh my lord. they are real people that we will never know, and while we may have our fun with our little theories and talking to other fans and making and watching cute compilations and writing fanfiction and making fanart, we are just deriving entertainment from the parts of themselves they choose to show us. that persona they put on for the stream, that is not 100% them. they are real, rounded, 3-d, full people who we only ever get the privilege of witnessing a small sliver of. and we need to fucking remember that, because we can’t just keep running with the ideas of ccs that we have in our heads and treating them like they’re malleable characters for our own entertainment. 

anyways, specifically about truthing (and mind you, this is the point in the rant where a little of my anger starts to seep out because I’m tired and it’s 1:40 AM and I have class tomorrow): there’s so many things that can be said about gaydar. I’m not here to argue whether or not it exists, or the details of the morality of straight versus non-straight people engaging in the practice of truthing. I’m just here to say that, even if you believe gaydar exists and can be accurate when employed by non-straight people, that still only applies to people you fucking know. what you see of a cc is not “getting to know” them. what you are seeing is one face of a multi-faceted jewel, cut in far more ways that you can ever hope to one day perceive. your theories are just those - theories. whatever you might think of the giggles you heard or the pickup lines you saw uttered or the softness you imagine between x and y, human interaction is far too complex and laced with meaning for some rando on the internet who watches youtube videos and twitch streams to fully grasp from two entertainers working from behind a screen. your gaydar is not going to fucking work through a screen, fuck off with that shit.

another thing that’s fucking bothering me so much is this assumption that comes with being at all open about queerness when you yourself are not queer. ik this is just one of the many factors “truthers” use to justify the findings of their totally infallible, prophetic gaydar, but it’s a factor nonetheless, and it bothers the fuck outta me. someone being willing to express support for lgbt people or donate to lgbt chairities or open to conversations with other lgbt people about lgbt endeavors is not evidence of queerness. to say that it is contributes to the harmful belief that cishets still have that they cannot be any of those things - that is, exceedingly open about and to queerness - without being perceived as queer themselves. 

anyways, and now we are at the bottom line, which is that, this entire conversation wouldn’t even have to be had if people just fucking listened to cc boundaries. ranboo and tubbo do not like being shipped. it is that fucking simple. i know that it is tempting to ship two people you think are cute together. i know it is tempting to indulge in a dynamic you find comforting. but idgaf. temptation is not an excuse. find some fictional characters to ship, and kindly fuck off.

[cipheress-to-k-pop]

Hi hi! I was wondering if you could do a dick Grayson x Avatar like fem reader with either a jealous Babs or Zatanna I hope that made sense🥲

True Love’s Kiss

Pairing: Dick Grayson as Nightwing x Reader

Warnings: I don’t think so

Word Count: 4.1K

@writing2sirvive : Hi love, me again but with a request this time. If you have time of course. I was thinking true love’s kiss with Dick Grayson. You can go crazy with it because I know you love Dick Grayson as much as I do. Btw I love your writing so much.

A/N: I think I did it wrong...cuz even though this is a Dick Grayson x reader fic, it’s mostly centred around reader and Zatanna???? Sorry about that???

You were fine with knowing that Dick was still friends with most of his exes. You completely accepted that he was able to keep functional relationships with most of them. In fact, it showed you how amicable and neutral Dick was and how he never held any grudges against people.

Of course, you were surprised by the sheer number. And the fact that he seems to interact with them practically every day. But eventually you managed not to let yourself get too bothered by it.

I mean, how could you? Barbara was the smartest, funniest, most approachable person you had ever met. She always made sure not to overstep her boundaries and was unusually open with you, given that Dick was her ex-boyfriend.

Raquel was adventurous and fun and you always had a good time when you were around her. She was another one who was respectful of your relationship. She never brought up her past flings with Dick, nor did she ever try and put you down. In fact, she was one of the people who really shipped the two of you.

You liked most of his exes. To the point where it made Dick kind of uncomfortable.

You liked most of his exes.

Ever since you had joined the team, being introduced as Nightwing’s significant other, Zatanna had been a constant thorn in your side. She was nice and sweet but there was something about her that rubbed you the wrong way. You could tell almost immediately that she wasn’t quite over her relationship with Dick. Short as it was.

Or maybe she was just the type of person who didn’t want someone, but didn’t want others to have the same person either.

Nonetheless, being around her put you constantly on edge. You lost count of how many times she redirected a conversation to be about her previous relationship with your boyfriend. ‘Oh, Dick took you to a fancy restaurant for your birthday? Well, I remember back when we were dating, he threw a huge party for me on mine.’

‘Oh, you celebrated your one-year anniversary with Dick in Paris? Well during our 3-month-aversary he bought me an expensive necklace.’

It didn’t bother you in the slightest. At least, not in the way that she hoped. It didn’t make you insecure or doubt or feel intimidated by her. It was just an annoyance that you couldn’t shake off, like the teacher you didn’t like or your annoying neighbour.

Unfortunately, Zatanna couldn’t take a hint that it made you and your friends (Barbara and Raquel included) uncomfortable and slightly irritated. Yet, everyone was just waiting for you to express the slightest distaste, not wanting to step on your toes. However, they were quick to change the topic in case they thought she was going too far.

Dick had been blissfully unaware of everything and you wanted to keep it that way. The last thing you needed was this turning into some sort of issue, especially since Zatanna was still his teammate.

However today you had enough.

You could look past Zatanna’s petty jealousy but allowing the jealousy to come to the forefront during a mission was where you drew the line.

Dick, M’Gann and Conner had been on a covert mission for Batman and out of the country and under team vote decided that you should be made in charge until he returned, since you were the only other older member (other than Zatanna but you were voted leader unanimously. Something you were extremely proud about). That was well and good, until you had been given a mission.

Regardless of how much you did not want to work with Zatanna without the others there to wrangle her, you had to put your personal feelings aside when you had a mission to complete.

You thought you could both be professionals about it and act like mature adults.

You were dead wrong.

If it wasn’t disagreements, it was insubordination. If it wasn’t insubordination, it was blatant arrogance. She questioned your judgment in front of the other members and even had the nerve to argue with you about mission strategies. You were trying to look out for everyone and put yourself in the line of fire since the squad members were better at stealth.

Zatanna seemed to think you were trying to steal the show and insisted that she be partnered with you even though you wanted someone with the younger members to keep them safe.

When you relented and agreed to go stealth, she accused you of ducking out and intentionally trying to put her in danger. The others had to watch as steam practically came out of your ears when you relented once again and decided you’d be with her because you honestly couldn’t argue with her much longer.

As if that wasn’t infuriating enough.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she refused to work as a team, putting the mission at risk and nearly getting the both of you hurt. She was fighting on her own, not bothering to have your back and going into it alone. Obviously, the two of you were overpowered quickly once they realized that you were pretty much behaving solo.

Luckily, the others pulled through and got you both out of there before anything horrible happened.

You sat in the ship, jaw clenched so tightly that they swore they could hear your teeth cracking, fists nearly white as you tried to control your anger and keep yourself from screaming at her while you were still in the air.

Once the ship landed in the docking bay and Zatanna was the first one to leave without saying another word, you snapped.

“What the hell did you think you were doing today!” You growled out, fisting her collar and stopping her in her tracks.

“What are you talking about?” She feigned innocence and you felt your skin burning. Everything around you faded out and all you could feel was fury. In hindsight, you would have liked to handle this issue in a more refined manner, but you honestly couldn’t care.

So, you didn’t notice the rest of the team, along with the a few members of the Justice League watching you chew Zatanna out.

Whatever would keep you from lighting her on fire was enough.

“I’m talking about putting the mission, not to mention ourselves in jeopardy, all because you can’t stop acting like a spoilt brat!” You hissed.

She rolled her eyes and you and the thought of strangling her briefly crossed your mind before she shoved your hands off her, dusting herself off like your fingerprints were dirt, “You need to stop blaming others for your inadequacy.”

She turned on her heel sharply and walked away. Blood pounded through your ears and your fingers twitched by their sides before you formed a whip of water from the bay and lashed it against her feet.

Zatanna, caught off guard, was thrown across the room before she caught herself with a muttered spell and turned around, glaring at you furiously.

“We’re going to settle things, right here, right now!”

“If you would stop being so insecure, then we could sort out our differences like mature adults!” She screamed back at you and before you could control it, flames erupted from beneath your feet and raced towards her, scorching the ground beneath it.

Each puff of breath you took released sparks. Zatanna immediately got into an offensive stance, levitating one of the weapons crates and chucking at you. You blocked it effortlessly using a wall of earth before throwing an inferno at her.

You kept fighting, flames and splashes of water going into the air every time you collided. The others watched in fear as you both raced towards each other, it looked like neither of you were holding back.

Before you could strike her again, you were being pulled away by Superman and as Zatanna was by Batman, they both pulled you yards apart. Even with his strong, authoritative grip on you, you couldn’t stop thrashing in his arms, throwing gusts of air at her.

“(Y/N). Enough.” Superman spoke in your ear and you calmed down, relaxing in his grip. He let you go after and you winced, feeling your skin bruise where he grabbed you. He gave you an apologetic glance at that.

“You both have to put your differences aside and work as a team or you won’t be allowed to go on any more missions.” Batman told you, voice firm but it didn’t shake you.

“No, Zatanna is going to have to put her issues with me aside and learn that when I have been elected as leader of the squad then you are supposed to put your petty jealousy aside and know your place.” You spat.

“You weren’t right for the position!”

“I did everything right! And if it hadn’t been for you, we wouldn’t have been under open fire tonight!”

“You’re not the boss of me!”

“When I am the leader of the squadron then I am! And you’re meant to listen and not question my judgement because you’re being blinded by your pathetic jealously!”

“I’m not jealous of you!”

“Oh, please! That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve heard from you and it was all proved today! Admit it! You were immature and fucking stupid because you can’t get over that fact that you dated Dick for what? 3 months?”

“That’s because he’s supposed to be with me!” 

“LIKE HELL HE IS!” You roared.

Batman felt a little helpless watching the two of you scream at each other. All this fighting? Over a boy? His son, no less? He had other sons and you were free to have your pick. But at this point, he wasn’t even sure what to say.

“You just can’t seem to accept the fact that he doesn’t love you anymore! Get over it! Because he certainly has!” You shouted, spinning on your heel and stomping away from her, determined to have the last word. Superman sighed in relief. He thought another fight would break out.

“You’re just insecure because you know that if he had the chance, he would come crawling back to me!”

A chill went done your spine and you felt cold fury run through your veins, turning around to glare at her murderously and clenching your hands tightly. You were so angry your feet were rooted to the floor, body seizing up slightly.

The others looked anxiously between the two of you as you glared at each other for a minute before you spoke with the calmest, yet most terrifying voice they’ve ever heard from you.

“Zatanna, you can try your damn hardest to win him back. But I promise you, you’re never going to get what you want.” You told her darkly, before walking away.

As Zatanna glared at your receding figure she decided she was going to prove you wrong.

***

To keep you from fighting with Zatanna again, when Batman came to you with a solo mission you couldn’t agree fast enough. Even though you knew you’d miss Dick’s homecoming, you still wanted to get the hell away from here. Not like you’d be missing anything important, other than Zatanna fawning over him.

You’d get to tell him how much you missed him in private anyway.

As soon as you were out of the cave, you couldn’t help the relief that filled your bones. You had been so on edge the past few days, still furious with her so the distance between the two of you was appreciated.

When Dick got home, he was ecstatic to see you again. It had been nearly 3 weeks since he had last held you and his skin was practically buzzing with excitement when he reached a cave, desperate to hug you, kiss you, touch you.

He got to the mess hall quickly, running all the way there and when he opened the door, he was instantly disappointed. You weren’t there.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” He asked Beast Boy, hoping he would tell him that you were just back at your apartment or that you had gone out for a while and would be back soon but he felt his heart sink when Gar gave him a sympathetic smile.

“She’s on a mission for a week.”

“A mission? Who’s with her?”

“No one. It’s a solo mission.”

Now he was worried. You usually didn’t take solo missions, liking to work in a team, knowing that there would be people who would be watching your back was reassuring. He knew you were more than skilled to handle a solo mission but not being by your side made him nervous and slightly antsy.

He was also upset that you weren’t here. So, he decided to do the most adult thing. Go home and sulk in bed while holding your sweatshirt that smelt like you.

But apparently the world had something against him because when he was about to go through the Zeta tube he was intercepted. By non other than Zatanna.

Now, poor clueless Dick had no idea that you had thrown hands with Zatanna just a day ago and was the reason why you weren’t there to welcome him when he got back. If he had he would’ve sulked at her and whined loudly for her to hear while he dragged his feet.

But, poor clueless Dick had absolutely no idea Zatanna was the reason he was being deprived of your kisses. So, he just smiled brightly at her and asked her if she needed anything.

“As a matter of fact, I found an old spell and I need someone to test it out on!”

“I don’t know how I feel about being your non-scientific experiment, Z.”

“Come on, it’s totally harmless, I promise.”

“I don’t know...”

“Don’t you trust me?”

He did. But there was just something about this situation that made him uncomfortable. Maybe it was because he missed you like crazy and just wanted to go home and sulk until you came back. Maybe it was because he felt uncomfortable to go somewhere private with his ex-girlfriend without telling you first. Or maybe it was because of the way Zatanna felt the need to guilt him into it.

Nevertheless, he agreed, albeit reluctantly and went to her room. Inside Zatanna had a bunch of ruins written on a paper and some weird poultices beside it.

“Now this isn’t going to work unless you give me your consent.” She informed, bustling about the room and Dick suddenly felt the air was a little stuffy.

“What do you mean by consent? Consent for what?”

“It’s a love spell.” She told him, smiling slyly but he couldn’t quite understand why. His hands got a little clammy at the announcement. What did she mean by love spell? Was she trying to get him to fall in love with her? Why would she be so open about it then? Especially when she knew he was in love with someone else?

“What do you mean?”

“Oh relax, stop being so tense. It’s just a love spell that proves who you truly love.” She said, immediately noticing how stiff his body was. Though she chalked it up to confusion. Dick was simply confused about who he loved, he was clouded by his attraction to you and he felt guilty about being unfaithful. But deep down, he really loved her. And this spell would prove it.

“In the olden ages, people would use it on their wedding to prove that their significant other truly loved them.”

He nodded, mouth falling open with realization. He already knew what the answer would be so why even bother? He assumed it was because Zatanna was curious to whether it actually worked.

“Too bad (Y/N) isn’t here, I mean I know who I love but I’d like to try it out on her. I mean, who takes a mission the day before their boyfriend comes back to town.” He complained, more to himself but Zatanna still heard it.

“Anyway, can I cast it on you?”

“Sure, couldn’t hurt.”

Oh, how he’d come to know just how wrong he was.

***

You raced through the halls, panicked, hearing your heart beat out of your chest as you sprinted to the Med Bay. Even though you were running as quick as possible you still pumped your legs to run faster, needing to get there quickly.

As soon as you saw Zatanna outside the Med Bay, you skidded to a stop in front of her and grabbing her collar, pinning her against the wall. She hit it with a thud and she saw white for a second when her head collided with the hard surface.

It was then you got a good look at her face. Her eyes were red and face wet. Her lips were bitten until they bled. You gritted your teeth, grip tightening around the collar as tears pricked your eyes.

“What the hell did you do!”

She whimpered, eyes getting glossy again before she started crying, incomprehensible words leaving her lips and you snarled before shaking her again, “You don’t get to cry! What the hell did you do to him!”

“It was a love spell!” She cried out, “It was supposed to reveal who he truly loves.”

“AND?!”

“It’s activated by a kiss.” She sniffled, “And I did.”

“Is it done?” Dick asked just as she finished casting the spell. His body was enveloped by a slight glow that was only visible to her and Zatanna’s lips curled when she realized it had worked. Now there was only one thing left to do.

“Yep.” She said, slinking over to his side and he pouted curiously.

“Are you sure? I don’t feel any different. You said it was supposed to reveal who I love. What happened?”

“We’re gonna find that out. Hold still.” She said, smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck to press a kiss to his lips. Dick froze, feeling her lips move against his and his mind went blank for a second before his chest contracted painfully.

He gasped against her mouth, before his legs buckled and he tumbled to the ground. Zatanna’s eyes widened when she saw the way his body twitched, pained gasps leaving his mouth and tears began falling from his eyes.

“Are you okay?!” She panicked, wrapping her arms around his thrashing figure but he couldn’t choke out an answer.

“Someone help! Anyone! Please!”

“A kiss doesn’t put people through cardiac arrest!” You screamed, feeling your chest tighten as you heard it out loud for the first time. Your eyes began burning and your throat contracted, feeling tears build. It was the first time you had admitted it to yourself.

You were scared. Emotions that you could barely process or understand swirled around you in a dark cloud and you were scared that Dick wouldn’t make it out of his critical state. If he was taken away from you because you hadn’t been there to stop it, you would never forgive yourself.

“I’m sorry.” She whimpered, sobbing and her body went limp in your fists. The urge to rip her head off her shoulders resurfaced. She didn’t get to be upset, not when this was all her fault.

“I don’t give a shit.” You hissed, “How do we save him?”

“A true love’s kiss should stop all the side effects.” She whispered, looking up at you with wide eyes, “If Dick truly loves you, then when you kiss him, it’ll reverse the spell.”

You needed to get in there.

You released your hold and Zatanna and she slid to the floor pathetically, holding her body as she cried. But even with her heartbroken sobs, you couldn’t feel any sort of remorse to her, glaring at her instead, “You better hope this works. Or I’ll kill you myself.”

And then you rushed in.

When you got to Dick’s side your breath stuttered when you noticed just how many things he was connected to and you felt your body shake. Batman was carefully watching him from his bedside.

You carefully walked to his side, gently brushing your fingers against his cheekbone. He looked like he was in so much pain. He looked so weak. You wanted to help him but a part of you was scared. For the first time in your life, you doubted Dick’s feelings for you.

The time you needed his love and devotion to be true the most, you were doubtful. A million thoughts rushed through your head and for a second you were tempted to just avoid doing this at all. But you knew that you had to at least try.

So, with trembling hands, you held the ventilator fastened to his mouth, taking a deep breath before tugging it off. Batman, already knowing what you were about to do, let you pull it off him before pressing a fluttering kiss to his lips. Tears gathered underneath your lashes when you didn’t feel anything happen.

Just when you were about to pull away, Dick took a deep breath through his nose and panted against your mouth, kissing you more firmly. You couldn’t help the sob that bubbled out of your throat and he swallowed it without any qualms.

Even through bleary vision, you were able to make out his blue eyes and the small smile on his face. 

His hands came up to weakly cup for cheeks, gently wiping away the tears with his thumbs, “I missed you.”

You sniffled, letting more tears fall because you knew he’d be here to wipe them away, “I missed you too.”

***

Bonus:

You walked into the mess hall quietly. Dick had just fallen asleep in the Med Bay where he would be kept for a couple days under observation. It was past 1 in the night and you wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed but you had some unfinished business left to handle.

It was dark and it was hard to make out your surroundings until your eyes adjusted to the darkness. As you walked to the kitchen island, your eyes landed on the sorceress that had her head in her arms and wondered if she was asleep. Batman had said you were free to deal with her anyway you liked and that had been exactly your plan.

“He’s okay now, if you’re curious.” You told her. Her head shot up and she looked at you out of the corner of her eye before bowing it away shamefully. But you caught a glance at her face. She looked like she had been crying for hours, eyes bloodshot and face red and blotchy.

“Thank god.” She croaked out.

There was a beat of silence.

“I’m so so sorry, (Y/N).” Zatanna whimpered out before crying again, “You were right. I was jealous. And I did a crazy, wrong thing. And I’m so sorry.”

You sighed, nodding at her apology even though you knew she couldn’t see you. You weren’t sure if you accepted it, and you didn’t have to. For now, it could remain in the air.

“He really doesn’t love me....” She whispered out and you sighed once again, stepping up beside her and setting something on the table.

Zatanna glanced at the bottle of tequila and the two shot glasses you left. You didn’t look at her, instead choosing to stare straight ahead. You opened the bottle, pouring yourself a shot before tilting your head back and downing it, hissing at the burn.

“Obligatory break-up drink.” You mumbled, pouring her a shot and passing the glass to her.

She sniffled, looking at the glass in her hands before gulping it down. You took a deep breath, refilling the glasses. You still didn’t look at her, didn’t speak to her, just poured a refill when either of you finished and downed it in one gulp. The excitement from today and the tense feeling from sitting beside Zatanna kept you from getting drunk too early.

You two ended up finishing half the bottle, drinking in the dark until she passed out first and you followed soon after.

The others found you the next morning, passed out at the kitchen island, clutching empty shot glasses.

***

Bonus bonus:

Batman sighed, smelling the overwhelming scent of tequila as he came closer. None of them were able to wake either of you up. You were out cold, face scrunched up and head against the table in a position that would no doubt have your neck in a crick.

Zatanna was no better. Her hair was a mess, tequila spilt on her clothes and she was drooling all over the table, snoring unattractively.

“All this over a boy?”

Forever Taglist:

@simonsbluee

DC Taglist:

@emmacata

@p--e--a--c--h--e--s

@sometimeseverythingsucks

@sokkas-honour

@unstable1902

@lostgirlheart

@missdisapear

@tadpole-san

[beyondspaceandstars]

Renegade

Relationship: Din Djarin x Reader Warnings: N/A Summary: [based off the song Renegade by Big Red Machine feat. Taylor Swift] You're a shopkeeper in a remote corner of the galaxy just trying to get by. For some reason, every now and then a certain Mandalorian pops into town. He comes and goes as he pleases until one day you finally get the courage to confront him on his drifter habits. Unexpected confessions spill out. A/N: I haven’t written something for The Mandalorian in a long time but i just had this idea for a while and i wanted to actually try to execute it. Idk if this came out good but i think it’s still sweet. I hope someone enjoys it :)

Masterlist

You never knew when he was coming into town.

It would happen pretty much in the blink of an eye. You’d shut down your store for the day, retire to your home, then he’d be there, in the middle of the village, bright and early. The Mandalorian kept no schedule it seemed but his surprise visits were always welcomed by you. 

He’d make it a point to stop at your store first. He never really bought anything, just browsed the fabric and clothing you had to offer. The Mandalorian seemed to appreciate your craftsmanship, always taking time on his stay to ask about your newer items or what your plans were for your next collection. Your shop was modest but it helped bring in some kind of income which was very valuable as the fate of the galaxy hung in limbo.

You built up some kind of rapport with the masked man but feelings have been shifting within you for a while. You didn’t really understand how it was possible. You had begun falling for a man that never even gave you the courtesy of saying goodbye. But at the same time, the hours you would spend chatting meant everything to you. It felt so good to confide in someone as a life as a solo storekeeper could be quite a lonely one. He also seemed to be no stranger to loneliness as a man roaming the galaxy, taking odd bounty jobs. Nowhere to really call his own. 

A deep, deep part of you wished he would call this village his home. He seemed to enjoy it here, evident by his numerous stops. When he’d come and go from your shop, he was always bringing back new treasures. The woman down the road would be testing a new stew recipe or the jewelry maker at the end of the block had talked him into buying something. Most of the time, he’d just give the items to you, claiming he couldn’t resist the shopkeeper but had no use for the trinkets. The pseudo-gift giving was a little ridiculous to you but it couldn’t help but fuel your burning crush. You always accepted and wore whatever the Mandalorian presented. 

Yes, you two definitely had formed a relationship over time. You didn’t know really what to call it and you two never seemed to want to speak about it but it was no secret that it was there, and you were a bit thankful for it. No matter where he had gone or how long he had left for, you were always there to welcome him back to the village with open arms.

As many times before, the Mandalorian arrived unexpectedly one beautiful, clear morning. He was hovering around your shop, seemingly waiting. His armor shined so loudly in the daylight, it was nearly blinding, but you appreciated how powerful he was. He may show you his soft side in the village but you’d heard plenty about his hunts. If the truth was even half as alarming as the gossip, you were impressed he could have such a gentle side. 

“You’re early,” you called out, pulling your shawl tighter around you as you walked towards the passing bounty hunter. He stopped dead in his tracks upon hearing your voice. 

“It would appear I am,” he said, letting out a breathy laugh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the time.”

You came to stop right in front of him. You peered up at his helmeted face. You certainly couldn’t see anything through that insane gear but some part of you still felt him staring into your eyes, deeply. Instinctively, you fiddled with the necklace resting on your lower neck. The charm was a piece of some dark crystal. You didn’t know what it was and you were slightly too nervous to inquire the jewelry maker about it but the Mandalorian standing before you had given it to you the last time he was here. He simply said he thought it would look nicer on you. You didn’t ask anymore.

“It’s alright,” you smiled. “I’m just glad to see you back here in one piece.”

He seemed a bit taken back by that. You worried you had overstepped the boundary between flirting and kindness but then he tilted his head, curiously. “Yeah?”

Oh, you felt yourself blushing a bit. You ducked your head and stepped around him, beginning to work on the lock of your shop. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged and opened the door. The Mandalorian followed closely behind. “I’ve heard your work can be demanding. Lots of opportunities for you to get hurt.”

“Does that worry you?”

You stopped in front of the pile of new fabrics you had just woven. You sighed. “I’ve come to think of us as a little bit more than acquaintances. It’s normal to worry about others.”

You swore you heard him let out a low chuckle at that but he didn’t acknowledge it. Or your statement. You chose to do the same. You walked around to the counter and began prepping the logbooks for the day. The Mandalorian continued to hang around, gaze and hands roaming the new pieces you had set up last night. You were hoping this new collection you were previewing was going to bring in some hefty credits. Maybe allow you to take a holiday.

The Mandalorian broke the tense silence with the most unexpected comment. “I worry about you too, you know.” 

Your finger stopped abruptly as it scanned your list of sales for the week. When you had offered your care, you had never expected it back. You two technically weren’t on that level, at least not verbally. In other formats of gift-giving and worried looks, it was a different story. 

“You worry about me?” You inquired, brows raised in surprise. 

He gave a very Mandalorian-like shrug, his gaze still fixated on your for-sale items. Something in you was crushed when it looked like you weren’t getting any more from him. Maybe he’d disappear tonight, embarrassed by this exchange. But then by some miracle, he spoke again.

“Of course,” he said it like it was so obvious. “You’re a very kind shopowner living out in this village alone. This galaxy, no matter what corner you hide in, can be dangerous.”

You smiled to yourself. “I’ve done this for many years, Mandalorian. I think I will be alright.”

He hummed in acknwoeldgement. “I’m sure,” he mumbled. “But can you blame me for having concerns?”

This conversation sure was going to a funny place, you thought, but you were along for the ride. If he was going to talk about concerns, you could for sure rattle off yours. He was worried about your safety in this little village while you worried for his health. It cannot be good for a human, assuming he was human under all that gear, to be wandering the galaxy with no rhyme or reason besides the bounties strung about this galaxy. You never thought you’d express these things to him but the Mandalorian appeared to be a talkative one today. And you felt you two were beyond strangers. 

“Well, I’m flattered you think of me,” you admitted. “But I fear it’s you who faces more dangers than me.”

The helmeted man gave a little scoff at that comment. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Sure, you didn’t doubt that, but that wasn’t what was on your mind. “I’m not talking about bounty hunting. I’m talking about your habit of being a drifter.”

The words didn’t feel very impactful in your brain but when they hit the open shop it was like you had dropped a bomb. The Mandalorian stilled, his gloved hand letting go of one of the scarves you had laying on a table. He began making his way suddenly towards where you still stood behind the counter. You frowned.

“A drifter?”

His eye gaze wasn’t seen but it was sure felt. You shrugged. “I’m not a fool. I know you bounce around from planet to planet throughout this galaxy. Maker knows why you keep coming back here but... I just worry you don’t have a home-,”

“I don’t,” he confirmed. Your heart all about stopped. Well, you didn’t exactly want to be right.

“Oh,” you said, averting your eyes to the wood counter. “And that doesn’t bother you? You must want someone waiting for you. Someone to just spend...moments with.”

“Don’t I have you?”

The question hung in the air between you two like a heavy pendulum. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He… He thought of you like that? Of this village? But why would he… Oh, but didn’t it make some kind of sense? The reappearing? The coming and going… He waltzed in and tried to get to know everyone. Got to know you.

Your head was a jumbled mess, so much so the only thing you could get out was a soft, “Me?”

The Mandalorian nodded. He wasn’t looking anywhere near you, finding such interest in the wall of your shop. But you noted his stiff stance. Maybe he hadn’t meant to say that… Except he had. And now it was out there. Something in the mysterious bounty hunter made him let out such a grand confession.

“Yes,” he eventually confirmed. “You. This village. I have that. I have this to come back to.”

With thoughts swimming violently, you had to ask, “But why don’t you stay?”

“I have jobs to do.” He almost sounded offended you had asked that. You shook your head.

“N-No, I mean… Get a place for yourself. You’re always sleeping on that ship. Maybe accept the invites to dinners the sweet lady down the path invites you to. Or you and I could…” Your words faded fast, slightly scared of what was going to slip out. But the Mandalorian wasn’t letting it go.

He turned his gaze back to you. “We could what?”

“S-Spend time together or something,” you mumbled. Real smooth, you thought. Just the perfect way to flirt. You expected him to now be so offended, maybe even storm out such a suggestion, but the armored man didn’t move. Instead, he cocked his head, curious.

“You’d want to do that?”

You sighed. “I want you to start a life somewhere. Really start it. Drifting around this galaxy cannot be very promising. You deserve this. You deserve a home, Mando.”

“Din.”

Your brows furrowed. Now it was your turn to be curious. “What?”

“My name is Din,” he explained. “You don’t have to call me Mando.”

If a heart could sing, yours would be a full chorus. He finally told you his name. After collecting jewelry and stories, he had finally opened somewhat to you. That was a good sign, a great sign. 

“Din,” you said, testing the name. It rolled off your lips easily. “We’d love to have you around.” A beat. “I’d love it, especially.” It was a bold declaration but he had given you something, the least you could do was make your intentions more obvious.

“Thank you,” Din said. 

“Of course,” you shrugged. “We all need to find the place where we belong.”

Din let out a bit of a chuckle. You frowned at that.

“You think I belong here?” He asked, amused. 

You didn’t like that he wasn’t taking you seriously but it would be okay. Just gave you more of a reason to show him everything this place had to offer. From the nice shopkeepers to the lovely food. This would be some kind of home for him or at least a place where he���d always be welcomed. Your heart fluttered at the idea of him leaving less, maybe even never leaving. He could train people on fighting or - or… 

You had to stop yourself as your brain was getting beyond reality. You shot the Mandalorian a smile.

“I think you’ve always belonged.”

[floating-mid-air]

The Princess of All Saiyans

-

Masterlist

-

Chapter 10 is finally here. Something I noticed while working on this chapter is when I'm writing as the narrator. I use Goku and Kakarot interchangeably. I looked back into the other chapters and noticed I've been doing that the entire time. I honestly just write whichever name feels natural in the context. I think I'll continue writing like that. I think it's more fun switching up Goku's name every once in a while. As always, if you have any comments or questions, feel free to let me know.

-

Chapter 10

-

You and Goku sit on opposite ends of the ditch. The choice to sit as far away from him as possible was strictly for your own sanity. You can feel his scolding gaze on you, burning holes through the entirety of your body, making your skin crawl. 

You've been desperately attempting to evade eye contact with the defective Saiyan, which is becoming significantly more strenuous with each second that passes. Goku lets out an exaggerated sigh. "Can we at least sit closer together?"

You turn your head at him, narrowing your eyes. "No, Kakarot."

Goku presses his thumb and index finger together, leaving a tiny hole. He brings the flexed hand up to his eye, looking at you through the minuscule opening. "What about this much closer?"

"No." Your gaze remains locked on him, with a deadpan look on your face.

"But why not?" He wines as you begin to massage your temples. If he keeps this up, the two of you won't survive down here together for much longer. You're ninety-nine percent sure that being stuck with Kakarot will somehow be the greatest adversity of your life. Okay, so maybe you're being just a tad bit overdramatic. 

"Because I don't trust myself not to kill you." You snarl at him. Your composure is dangling by a thin thread, and Goku is an extremely sharp pair of scissors.

Your words seem to have shut Goku up, well, at least for a little while. "Hey Y/N?"

You ball your hands into fists, clenching your jaw as your right eye begins to spasm. You're developing an eye twitch. How lovely. "What is it now, Kakarot?"

"How did you do that thing with your eyes?"

You furrow your brows at the younger Saiyan. "What the hell are you talking about?" You're really starting to get fed up with him, and you've only been trapped down here for around fifteen minutes.

"Your eyes turned red when you were fighting that guy." Your eyes widen before you quickly cover up your shock with a scowl. Fuck. You knew you should've kept your temper under control. How could you have been so stupid?

Lucky for you, Kakarot is a moron. He lacks understanding regarding body language and various emotion cues. It shouldn't be difficult for you to get out of this at all. "Your eyes were just playing tricks on you. Your vision was probably strained from traveling for such an extended amount of time. My eyes did not, nor have they ever changed color."

"But, I saw---" 

"Well, you saw wrong!" You take several deep breaths, attempting to regain your composure. Spoiler alert, it doesn't work. "I can't take this anymore!" You've finally snapped, but to be fair. You lasted much longer than you expected. "Stop asking me a million questions! No, you know what. Stop speaking to me in general! You are the most infuriating---"

Amidst your screaming, Goku jumps up, pulling you into a far corner of the trench. One of his hands is placed over your lips. And his other arm is tightly wrapped around your waist, his hand ghosting over the base of your tail. Your back is pressed up against the rocky wall, and you feel like his larger body is engulfing your form entirely. You glare at him in irritation as an oddly serious expression crosses Goku's face. 

"I'm gonna take my hand away. Be quiet and focus for a minute." He moves his hand, resting it comfortably on your side. It's placed directly on your wound, courtesy of your battle with Burter. You bite your lip, preventing yourself from wincing. Even the smallest amount of pressure is causing you severe pain. Maybe your injury is worse than you presumed. 

You shut your eyes partly to distract yourself from the pain, but the main objective is to focus on the energy around you. There's someone out there, and they're powerful too. That has to be Ginyu. Shit, your explosive outburst could have just gotten you both killed. What is wrong with you today? 

Where you're standing in the pit. There's still a patch of grass over the top. Providing a shield from anything or anyone from the outside. You hate to admit it, but this was actually a wise decision on Goku's part. Never did you think that Kakarot would be the one to remain collective while you're the one behaving recklessly.  

The two of you remain pressed up against each other. Frankly, you're too close for comfort. You can feel every fall and rise of his chest. You can even hear his heartbeat, which is thumping just as rapidly as your own. The sound of Ginyu's faint murmuring invades your ears, though you can't hear anything he says clearly. He must be too far away.

You try to keep your erratic breathing under control, which stems from both pain and nerves. Your surroundings grow quiet, and Ginyu's energy disappears altogether. He must have left. You finally have room to breathe as Goku takes a few steps back, distancing himself from you. His eyes scan your face before quickly darting down to one of his hands. Specifically, the one that's now covered in your blood. His eyes go-round as he moves closer, invading your personal space once again. "Are you hurt?"

His tone lacks his typical cheery nature, causing you to tilt your head upward, your brain desperately attempting to form a contingency plan to get you out of this mess. "I'm fine." Goku makes you uneasy. He's nothing like a Saiyan should be. His behavior is all over the place, and not a single one of his actions adds up in your realm of logic. Out of all the ruthless and sadistic Saiyan's that could've survived, never in a million years did you expect one as pathetic as Kakarot to live.

"But, you're bleeding." This timid side of Goku is somehow worse than his typical cheerful self. You didn't think he could disgust you further, but once again, that defect proves you wrong.

You suppress an eye roll, keeping your piercing gaze locked on him. If you were to look away now, it would appear like you were backing down. And you refuse to let a fool like Kakarot win. "It's not my blood, Kakarot." Hopefully, he'll fall for your lies and drop this pointless conversation here.

"If it's not your blood, then let me see." He moves his hands to your hips, clawing at the bottom of your chest plate.

You grab his wrist, pushing them away. The two of you continue going back and forth, gripping and pushing at each other. It's been a while since someone challenged you like this, one on one. No one back on the Frieza Force would have dared to go against your wishes. Goku's different from them. He's not afraid of you, and it doesn't seem that he'll give up anytime soon. You would've never pegged Kakarot for the stubborn type. Maybe there's still a bit of true Saiyan nature in him, after all. And as infuriating as he is, you can't say you're disappointed. "Knock it off, Kakarot!" 

"Stop being such a baby, and let me help you." If you were in a public setting, those passing by might have believed you were a couple. Having one of those sweet but sicking play fights. While in reality, that was far from the truth. This proves just how thin the line between love and hate truly is. 

"I don't want your help!" You stop fighting him, crossing your arms over your chest, denying him access to your upper half. 

You thought you had outsmarted him, that was until his hands landed on the sides of your top. "Fine. I'll just tear your armor off then."

You stare at him in disbelief. "Do you have no boundaries?" He has to be bluffing, right? No one could be this shameless. However, the look on his face, mixed with his grip on your top tightening, tells you a whole different story. He's serious about this. "Wait---" You place one of your hands on his chest. "If you back off, and shut up. I'll take it off."

He complies with your terms, stepping back, pressing his lips into a thin line. Your hands are violently shaking as you slowly move them to the corners of your chest piece. You've stripped your armor off in front of Raditz, Nappa, and Cado a million times before. So why does this feel so different?

You steadily pull your tunic above your head, slipping your chest piece off your body, leaving you in your nylon blue sports bra. And it really doesn't leave much to the imagination. You turn your head, finally getting to see the wound yourself. It's much deeper than you thought, but due to your Saiyan genetics, it's already healing quite nicely. "Are you pleased? Now, will you finally shut up?"

Feeling self-conscious from his gaze, you cross your arms over your chest again. "No. Why would I be happy about this? It looks, really, bad Y/N." Why does he care about your physical condition? At the end of the day, you're enemies, and your nauseating alliance is only temporary. You just don't understand him. You can't read him either, so you have no clue what he'll do next. And it's driving you mad. 

"Wait." He grins. "I brought Senzu Beans with me." A Senzu what now? Those must be those healing beans he gave Krillin and Gohan back on Earth. He searches his pockets, only to come up empty-handed. He grabs his head as a look of realization crosses his features. "I'm so stupid. I left them on the ship."

Well, there's one thing you both agree on, Kakarot does have a moronic nature. "Hey, relax. I'm fine, Kakarot." You wrap your tail around your waist, applying pressure to your wound. "This is all I need to do. I've done this several times before, and look, I'm still standing, aren't I?"

Your assurance doesn't seem to be enough for Goku. "Please--- just let me help you." He's pleading with you. Does he really have no ulterior motives? Does he really just want to help you? You'd typically laugh at someone pleading with you, but when it's from him. It makes you uncharacteristically sad.

Those puppy dog eyes should be illegal. You swear Goku would be able to make you do anything just with that one look. "O-Ok." Did you seriously just agree? How can a simple glance make you so weak? An expression like that would typically make you sick. Maybe the amount of blood you've lost has made you delirious. That's a plausible explanation. You're clearly doing everything under Namek's three suns to evade the possibility that these new strange feelings could be your own mind's fabrication. 

He removes the cord holding his gi together, causing the orange fabric to hang loose. You now have a clear view of his torso, revealing the blue undershirt that was once hidden under his gi. He slips the shirt off, ripping the bottom of his shirt into strips. "You know I might not be the smartest guy in the world. But I do know that you have to keep wounds clean to avoid infection." He kneels in front of you, giving himself easier access to your side. You don't mind. Him leaning down to help you would've probably made you even more flustered. 

His hand brushes against your tail, causing you to jump. He stares at you in alarm. "Sorry, I forgot that hurts you."

"I-It didn't hurt. I trained myself out of that weakness a long time ago. It's just a sensitive area still." He nods as you uncoil your tail, giving him direct access to your injury. He wraps the strips of cloth around your torso. The fabric is in replacement of a bandage, not bad for a makeshift patch-up at all. You've seen Nappa and Raditz do much worse.

Goku stands back up, tying his gi back together. "See. Good as new." That dopey smile on his face really makes you want to punch him. His facial expression may be causing you mild irritation, and his words had no humor to them, but you can no longer hold back your fit of laughter that is now escaping your lips. "What's so funny?"

"You are."

He pouts, which only makes you laugh more. "I'm not funny."

"Oh, yes you are, Kakarot. Everything about your existence is either. A. amusing or B. irritating." You're about to berate him even further, but you stop yourself. Someone is standing directly above you, and It isn't Ginyu this time. Their power level is far too low. It's not anyone you're currently aligned with either. By now, you know Vegeta's power level by heart, and you were able to memorize the other's energy levels during your previous encounter with them. So it's best to assume that above you is one of Frieza's minions. 

You do have a weapon at your disposal. No one knows that Goku is here except for you. And you intend to use that piece of knowledge to your advantage. You grab his wrist, pulling Goku back to the wall, successfully switching positions with him.

 You look up, getting a good look at the figure above you. Just your luck, it's Jeice. What's next? Will a scorned, old flame of yours show up in an attempt to win you back? Or will Frieza show up for a tea party?

Sadly, it's too late for you to duck back into the corner. That prick already saw you. You move out into the open, keeping Jeice off Kakarot's scent. A self-satisfied grin appears on Jeice lips as he admires your practically bare torso. "Hello, love. You having fun down there?"

"Oh, it's a real party, Jeice." His gaze makes your skin crawl differently. Kakarot's makes you nervous, but Jeice's makes you want to hurl.  

"I have to say, Y/N. I am surprised you'd fall for something so simple-minded."

You turn your head, subtly glaring at Goku. "You're right. That's not like me at all. I must have had a severe lapse in judgment."

"Well, gorgeous. Looks like today's your lucky day. I'll pull you up, but under one condition." You wouldn't accept his aid even if there wasn't a catch. You'd rather spend an eternity in the pit with Kakarot than owe Jeice any favors. "All you have to do is betray Vegeta, re-pledge your allegiance to Lord Frieza, and of course, become my wife."

You scoff, shaking your head. "Ya, no chance in hell I'm doing any of that."

"Oh, come on, Y/N. You'd rather be stuck down there, all alone. Then be with me."

"I wish I was alone right now." You mutter to yourself. Whether this statement was directed at Jeice of Goku is unclear, but it's most likely the latter.

He moves his hand to his scouter. "I didn't quite catch that Y/N. Was that your native tongue? Or were you just whispering?"

"I said I'd rather rot down here! And by the way, the only thing less appealing than death on this shitty planet would be marrying you."

He scowls at you. "I was trying to play nice, but now I see that's not a viable option. So if you insist you'd rather die down there, I won't be the one to stop you. Just know, you lost your only chance of leaving this damn rock alive." He takes off, now in an irritable mood. Maybe you should've played nice and asked him about Vegeta and the others. It probably doesn't matter either way. Who's to say Jeice would've told the truth.

Goku walks over to you, sheepishly handing you your chest piece. You find him much less irritating now. It turns out Kakarot isn't the worst being you could've been trapped with. It could've been much worse. You could be stuck down here with Jeice instead.

-

The group of four has covered a lot of ground, considering what terrible shape they're in. Recoome really did a number on them, especially Vegeta. He's limping while the others are still able to walk with only mild discomfort. After Vegeta was down for the count, it took Gohan, Krillin, and Raditz all together to finish Recoome off. Raditz is by far in the best shape of the group. Since he jumped in last, getting the KO. The other three would've been executed without the intervention of the largest Saiyan. And lady luck appeared to be on their side because Jeice fled shortly after Recoome fell. A few weeks ago, this group teaming up would've been unimaginable, former allies, enemies, and friends alike, with the lines between each category, quickly blurring together.

The issue with you suppressing your power level is now more prominent than ever. They can't easily locate you, so a search party is sadly the best they can do. Vegeta knew he should've gotten you chipped when he had the chance. He'd be able to locate you anywhere, anytime he wanted. So what if it violated your privacy. If it was up to Vegeta, you'd be one leash by now.

Gohan turns to his uncle. "Do you think Y/N's alright?"

"She's fine. Y/N's incredibly resourceful. If she couldn't surpass him in strength, she'd be able to easily outwit him. Y/N's always done as she's pleased, so it's not surprising if she got a bit carried away." Raditz knows you're alive. He can feel it. A creature as brain-dead as Burter wouldn't be the one to take you out. You'd definitely go out with a bigger bang.

"Stop the chit-chat, and stay focused!" Vegeta snarls at the uncle-nephew duo.

Raditz lowers his voice to a whisper. "Don't mind him. Vegeta's just worried."

"Shut your damn mouth, Raditz! Before I shut it for you, permanently." Raditz's eyes widen in terror as he frantically restarts his search. Pissing off Vegeta right now would not be an intelligent choice.

They explore another good portion of the planet. The only downside is they haven't found any sign of life. The group was about to pause and rest until a strange ship entered their field of vision. Krillin's eyes widen, a grin spreading across his lips. As he reads the words located on the side of the vessel. He begins sprinting toward the machine with Gohan not far behind. "Capsule Corp! We're saved!" 

Vegeta and Raditz observe the two in bewilderment. Vegeta never thought that Raditz could ever be the second smartest person in his vicinity. Today is just full of surprises. "Slow down, you neanderthals!" Vegeta shouts. "It could be a trap." The two Saiayn's have obviously seen more of the world. Even a fool like Raditz understands protocol about behavior on a foreign planet.

The pair ignore their Saiyan allies. With Krillin entering the ship first. "Goku?" He shouts.

"Dad?" Gohan enters the ship, only to find no sign of his father. The pair begin searching the aircraft, looking for clues to where Goku's whereabouts may be. The two Saiyan's tread carefully into the ship. Nothing seems dangerous at the moment. And they wouldn't put it past Kakarot to abandon the only source of transportation off this damn planet. Gohan furrows his brows. "Where could he have gone?"

"Do you guys think he could've been captured? Krillin's question was directed toward the Saiyan's. Vegeta and Raditz both know what the Frieza Force can do while he and Gohan are basically fish out of water.

"Relax." Raditz is the one to break the silence. "If Kakarot was captured, we'd all already know."

"There would be signs of a struggle. And extreme damage to the outside terrain. Kakarot left on his own accord, now let's go, we now have two fools to find."

Krillin was about to follow Vegeta's orders until his eyes land on a small bag. "Wait." He grabs the bag from the table. "If this is what I think it is--- it is. Leave it to Goku to forget an entire bag of Senzu beans." He pulls one of the green beans out of the bag, tossing it to Gohan and grabbing another for himself. 

He throws the bag at Raditz, who catches it with ease. The Saiyan watches the earthling and half-breed eat them first. Their injuries heal instantly, so it isn't poison. That small fact seems to be enough for Raditz, as he eats one of the beans himself. 

After he heals, he hands the bag to Vegeta. "Wait! Raditz!" Krillin shrieks. He's aware that their alliance is quite temporary and will probably end once they successfully disband the Ginyu Force.

Krillin charges at Vegeta, only to be stopped by Raidtz's hand. Which is placed firmly against his forehead, the Saiyan can hold him back with ease. "Stop. You know we can't do this on our own, even with Kakarot's help. Take it from someone who personally knows Frieza and the Ginyu Force. We need him."

Vegeta holds the Senzu bean in his hand, eyeing it skeptically. Before tossing it in his mouth, chewing it slowly. His eyes flash in amazement as his substantial injuries heal instantly. Even though he's seen the bean work wonders before, he still can't believe its capabilities. 

"Do you guys think that Goku and Y/N could be together?" Krillin's question makes a lot of sense, and unknowingly to him, very accurate. 

Vegeta sighs. "It's a possibility." The idea alone makes Vegeta cringe. Just the possibility of you being alone with Kakarot makes him irritable. 

"Well, if they're together, that's a good thing, right?" Gohan's cheerful voice cuts in. "It should be easier to find them, then."

Raditz snickers. "But, will they both be alive? That's the million-dollar question."

Krillin's eyes widen. It wouldn't surprise him if Goku's personality pushed you over the realm of sanity. He sometimes even feels like he's losing his mind when he's with his childhood friend. "Good point. If that's the case, we better step up our game."

The group of four exits the ship, continuing their search. And it doesn't take long for them to discover something else that stops them in their tracks. They located Burter's corpse, more specifically a headless Burter. Decapitation seems to be your go-to method of execution today. It's good to mix things up once in a while.

"Well, it looks like we know what happened here." You jump up in the pit. You'd recognize that voice anywhere. As always, your big brother, Vegeta, comes to your rescue.

"Vegeta! Get me the hell out of here!" Vegeta furrows his brows, desperately looking in all directions. He flys up to get a birds-eye view of the landscape. A higher altitude should be beneficial in tracking you down.

As soon as you hear Vegeta's obnoxious laughter, you know he's found you. He lands on the side of the dip in the ground. "Looks like you're in quite the predicament there, baby sister!" You've never been happier to see that arrogant smirk before in your life. 

"Vegeta, come on, get me out of here! I can't take another second of this torture."

"I don't know." Vegeta rubs his chin. "You did leave me alone, with those three idiots. Maybe I should leave you down there with Kakarot so you can learn a lesson."

"Come on, Vegeta. You know we don't have time for this." Raditz places a large branch in the pit. You should easily be able to climb up it. The barrier is only activated for those inside the hole. So it should cause a rift when something is poking out of it.

You place your hands on the wood as you start shimming upwards. You wince in pain, stumbling a bit. Your injury must be affecting you more than you thought. Goku quickly grabs you, placing his hands on your hips holding you in place.

"D- Don't touch me!"

Goku sighs. Your hot and cold behavior is really confusing to him. "I was just trying to help you. You were gonna fall."

"As we discussed before. I don't want your help." You pull yourself up the rest of the way up, rushing to Raditz. You wrap your arms around the giant, desperately clinging to him. "I take back every bad thing I've ever said about you."

Raditz furrows his brows, looking over your head at his brother, who had just climbed back to the surface. "God, Kakarot. What did you do to her?"

"Relax, you drama queen. You were only down there for about an hour or so." Vegeta pulls you off Raditz as your hand quickly lands over the sight of your wound. There's no need to worry Vegeta about this. It's just a minor scratch, that's all. He scans his eyes over your from, checking for any irregularities. "No injuries. All your limbs are intact. I'm surprised."

"Well, actually---" You slap Goku's leg with your tail, causing him to yelp out in pain. 

"Yep, I'm all good." You plaster an ingenuine smile on your face.

Gohan, Krillin, and Goku all have a little reunion. The rest of you will not take any part in that conversation. Kakarot's arrival isn't something to celebrate. He won't be your saving grace. "So, what's our next move?" Raditz turns to Vegeta. It's almost like nothing has changed. Like you've stepped into a time machine and went back to a much simpler time. Back when things were much less complicated.

"We go find Ginyu and Jeice too." Vegeta turns to you. "That red menace got away."

"I know. Jeice paid Kakarot and me a visit. Putting it simply, he's not gonna be in very high spirits."

Raditz chuckles. "Well, getting turned down so many times can't be good for his ego. Especially by the ice princess."

"She's far from an ice princess. Saiyan-wise, my sister is actually quite friendly. Out of our entire bloodline, I'd say she has the best people skills. She knows how to work a crowd. That's why our father wanted to put her in charge of foreign affairs."

"Was that a compliment, Vegeta?"

"I wouldn't dare." He pauses, turning to the other three. "Alright, let's get this over with. I don't want to spend any more time with you fools than necessary."

-

The group is finally reunited. But what does Captain Ginyu have in store for our heroes? And will Jeice ever get Y/N's attention? Find out in the next chapter of The Princess of All Saiyans..

[mystery-star]

Wherever you go – Spock

Pairing: Spock x reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: mentions of blood and injury

Words: 3943

A/N: I had to write this after discussing the quick idea of it with @elysiansith

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms.

-

“No, I’ll do anything but that” you insisted, shaking your head

“Come on, you lost the bet, you agreed to this beforehand”

“It was agreed that I would do something that involved Spock”

“And I didn’t tell you what exactly so you’ve gotta do it”

“Come on, search something else. Make me spill a drink on him, sing a song in front of his quarter but not this”

“Nah, that won’t be as funny”

“No please” you begged

“Oh come on, he’ll ask you right away. I don’t think he likes it if people are following him around” you sighed

“But what do you mean with everywhere? I can’t go to his quarters if he doesn’t invite me in. What if he’s on the toilet?”

“Okay well that are exceptions”

“What is while I’m on my shift? I can’t just get up and leave the bridge whenever the Commander does”

“Fine, then you’ll need to say that you need to do something and then go to the toilet or something. Or just ask if you can go with him” you shook your head

“No please choose something else, this is ridiculous. Besides, when he does ask me why I’m following him, what am I supposed to say? He won’t understand the bet thing”

“Then tell him the truth”

“No”

“I bet he’ll find your declaration of love logical”

“Yeah sure. But what if someone else asks why I’m following Spock everywhere?”

“That doesn’t count. You’re not relieved then”

“Oh come on! You know exactly that Spock won’t address the matter until some days later”

“I know. Which’ll make it funnier for me”

“You’re the worst”

“I know”

-

As you had agreed with your friend, you would start with following Spock as soon as your shift started on the next day. But before you could start, the Captain came to you and said there was something he had to discuss with you.

“Am I in trouble?” you asked after the doors of the turbolift closed

“No, not at all. Just wanted to say that your friend informed be about the betting debt you have to honor”

“Oh God please no. I’d rather be in trouble”

“Well anyway, I just wanted to say that you’re free to leave whenever Spock goes. I might even send you with him from the start”

“What crime did I commit?”

“Now come on, Lieutenant. Almost everyone on this ship knows about your crush on Mr Pointy. Except for him but he doesn’t notice anything that has to do with others and their feelings. But something tells me, he cares for you too in a way that is more than just a professional relationship”

“Great and I just thought this couldn’t get any worse” the lift stopped and the Captain ordered to bring you to the bridge again.

“Oi, others would be happy to hear such news. Considering it’s Spock it’s almost as good as a ‘he loves you too’” you let out a groan.

“Just great” you repeated and the Captain only chuckled “I hope I die from embarrassment”

“Now come on, maybe it will quite alright”

“Yeah and you surely believe in the Easter bunny and Santa Clause?”

“Most did as a kid” you shook your head. When you finally were back on the bridge you were more or less pulled to the First Officer’s station “Mr Spock”

“Captain, Lieutenant (Y/L/N)” he greeted back.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about how you could use help sometimes”

“I doubt I have ever addressed such a matter and I do not know what could have given you the impression I would…”

“That is why I decided to name (Y/N) as your assistant”

“No” you moaned

“So I think it would be great if the two of you could get to know each other a bit and spend time together”

“No” you groaned, knowing that it meant it would only prolong your betting debt because it would deter the Vulcan from asking you why you followed him

“Very well” Spock answered after having eyed you “Please have a seat, Lieutenant” he slightly nodded his head to the vacant chair that was at an empty console.

“You know I wouldn’t mind if we collided with an asteroid today” you muttered to yourself as you sank down in the chair. It kinda looked like maybe you had to follow him to the toilet anyway to have him ask what you were doing.

-

As he had announced, the Captain kept sending you after Spock whenever he left the bridge and although Spock kept insisting that it was not necessary you followed him, Kirk too insisted on you accompanying him since he could also make it an order. So in a way, you were glad when your shift was over. Since Spock stayed a little longer, you too wanted to do this so that you could go with him but then you remembered that you only had to follow him, it had never been said that you had to wait for him to move. So you said goodbye and wished him a nice evening after five minutes and returned to your quarters. Of course your friend called you to hear how it was going and was delighted when you mentioned what the Captain was doing.

Also the following day was quite the same but fortunately this time Spock only had to leave once. But this evening he left with all of you and since you found it would be creepy to just follow him you took a deep breath you asked him if he would like to have dinner with you. To your surprise he agreed. But it also relieved you because otherwise you’d still have to follow him, which would have made it even more awkward. On the other hand, then he probably would have asked you about the meaning of it.

“I’m sorry by the way. For being around you all the time. But we don’t have a choice during work and I think it would make sense if we got used to it. Maybe it would help to get to know each other better” you gave a shrug

“You do not need to apologize”

“But… don’t you wonder why?”

“You mean if I wish to learn the reason that you decided to spend time with me?”

“Yes”

“No. After all you have just explained your reasoning” shit. That meant he probably wouldn’t ask you for the reason that. Of course unless you passed boundaries in a way. Which was something you were not willing to do. Not only because he was a superior officer and a colleague but also because you didn’t want him to think negatively of you “If you want, you can search a suitable table while I get food from the replicator”

“Hm” he had allowed you to leave but the rules of the lost bet said that you had to ignore that and still stay with him “Or what if we both got food and then search a place together? I don’t know maybe you have something like a favorite table or you find that there are seats that are better than others” he raised an eyebrow

“Having a preference towards a seat seems illogical but I agree to your suggestion”

“Great” you smiled.

-

For some reason, a part of you was surprised that you had a very nice evening with Spock and that you enjoyed it more than you thought. Of course you had to accompany him to his quarters afterwards and he had only said that you did not need to do this and but you had just insisted that you hadn’t noticed and thought it wouldn’t make sense to turn around now. But what surprised you most was that he thanked you for spending the evening with him, even though you had asked him to do so. Maybe your friend and the Captain were right. Maybe all of this wasn’t so bad. Which didn’t mean you were happy about it.

On the following day, however, you were quite glad about the fact that you were following Spock around. He was scheduled to go on a planet mission and or course Captain Kirk insisted that you went with him, as his assistant. A part of you wondered what would happen once the whole betting debt was resolved. If you would still be his assistant then. Maybe you should talk to Kirk about this. Because somehow you didn’t know if that was what you wanted. What if it meant you would be promoted? It didn’t feel right if that would just happen because of a bet. But it would be cool and a great way to pay your friend back in a way. Once you arrived on the planet, Spock started to put you into small groups in which you should explore the planet. And in the end, you were left but all teams of two were already formed so he just told you to join one of the groups

“Actually…” you said “Since I was made your assistant, I thought I could go with you?” right now you didn’t even know if you just wanted to be around him or if you just did it because of your bet. Your stupid friend had been right that you would enjoy following him at times

“Very well, Lieutenant, you may come with me” you gave a nod and took out your tricorder to get started with work. On your little tour, you finally came to a cave. While Spock stayed away from it you went closer and closer, curious to see what was inside. “Are you certain you wish to go inside?” he asked

“I just want to have a look inside. I won’t even go in far. Maybe there is something really interesting inside” he gave a nod and came closer, walking past you and entered the cave

“It actually was my cave” you muttered but followed him. He kept walking and walking until you reached a huge kind of hall “Okay wow that is awesome” you breathed as you started to make even more recordings while Spock must have seen something else. It turned out to be a nest with five big, turquoise eggs. Your superior had to squat down and started to examine them while you were not so happy anymore. What if suddenly the parents came and got mad? You doubted it ever was a good idea to get to close to animal’s babies. But the Vulcan didn’t seem to worry at all and he even touched one of the eggs with his palm. Shaking your head you walked away and started slapping the cold stone, trying to get a tricorder reading on them to determine the material. Suddenly you felt Spock look at you “Something wrong?”

“Can you try not to make any sounds?”

“Why that? Is something…”

“Shh” you were surprised that he actually shushed you. But it made you react and you were quiet, trying to listen to what he could have been hearing. Then you finally did hear something and you did not like it. It sounded like something screeching and rather loud thumps

“Maybe we should leave?” you asked Spock who gave a nod and you were trying to get back to the tunnel you had been coming from but it was blocked by a huge grey-brown animal that looked a lot like a pterosaur. “Okay I suppose Mommy is back home. And she’s blocking our only way out”

“We cannot be certain if it is a female” the animal screeched at you and started coming at you

“But we can be certain that it is mad” you growled as you jumped aside and regretted that you had no phaser with you.

“As soon as it unblocks the entrance you need to run”

“And leave you behind with this Pteranodon? It looks like it could swallow you whole”

“Judging by its size I suppose that the term Quetzalcaotlus would be more fitting”

“This or that, it’s mad and you don’t stand a chance” luckily, he took out his phaser and tried to shoot the alien but it didn’t seem to deter it a lot “Just great” you muttered as it came closer to Spock and when he tried to dive away under it, the being still managed to dig his claws into his back. When the animal moved away you saw that it had torn quite a piece of Spock’s uniform and his back was quickly covered in green blood. Unfortunately, the animal didn’t seem done and tried to pick at the Vulcan with it’s long beak, only narrowly missing him because he had rolled onto his back and then back to his stomach and was trying to get up. Not knowing what to do, you ran towards the nest and heaved one of the eggs out of it, kicking it away from it. Of course that caught the alien animal’s attention and it was slowly coming closer to you after it used it’s beak to stop the rolling egg. Quickly, you took another egg and rolled it into the other direction and then a third one in yet another direction. As it seemed the being decided that the eggs were more important than you and went after them so that you hurried over to Spock, pulling him back to his feet. He didn’t seem to be in best form, so you draped his arm over your shoulders, trying to support him

“Leaving me behind would increase your changes of escape and survival by 76.2…”

“Shh” you said “It was my idea to go in there and we both will get out. Now come on” you started pulling him back to the tunnel and he complied. Much to your luck, the alien was not following you anymore and you hoped it would stay like this and that not a second one of them would come. Shortly before you reached the exit of the cave, your superior took out his communicator, drumming up the rest of the landing party but you just snatched it out of his hand and then contacted the ship, telling them to beam Spock up right now because he was injured. “And don’t you dare saying something like ‘it’s just a scratch. I can do this’”

“Seeing that the being has hit me with three of his claws it would be incorrect to claim that I only obtained one scratch” you rolled your eyes when you felt the transporter beam and then were back on the Enterprise with him.

“Dear God, what happened?” the man behind the console asked

“We got attacked by an angry Mommy pterosaur”

“Well shit but the fact that it was a dinosaur is cool”

“I doubt it was a real dinosaur”

“Yeah whatever. All I hope is that this being wasn’t poisonous somehow because that looks quite bad like this already” you didn’t even dare to throw a glance to his back, knowing you’d regret it. You shifted your hold on him a little and wanted to bring him to sick bay when you met some doctors and nurses that probably had been on their way to you. Of course they were taking over for you and started asking questions about what had happened while they ran scanners over the two of you. Finally, you reached Medbay and one of the nurses told you that you couldn’t come in but much to your surprise Spock said that it was okay if you stayed with him. Needless to say that it flattered you and made you happy. Of course you couldn’t be in their way as they treated his injuries but afterwards you were allowed to move closer and looked down at him, not sure what to say.  “Does it hurt?”

“No, the medication I received is still effective” you gave a nod

“Do you think they’ll give you more?”

“Should I request for some, yes” you gave a nod and were not so sure what else to say but luckily he continued “(Y/N)”

“Yes?”

“While your choice to help me escape as well was not entirely logical since it endangered your own life, I still appreciate your actions” you chuckled

“I suppose this is your way of saying thank you?”

“No. I merely wanted to tell you that I appreciated what you did. However, I do thank you for helping me”

“You’re welcome. And I’m sorry I even wanted to go inside this cave. If I hadn’t, this wouldn’t have happened”

“As you surely know, I have taken the lead upon entering the cave therefore you do not need to feel responsible for what has occurred for it is not your fallacy in any way” you gave a nod “I would have explored the cavern even if you had not been with me”

“So a good thing I started following you around, huh?” you chuckled. Maybe you should thank your friend anyway.

“I suppose so”

“And you still don’t wonder why?”

“I do. However, the Captain has asked me not to inquire the reason”

“He did what?”

“He requested I did not ask you for the reason that you are following me around”

“That idiot” you muttered

“Why does this bother you?”

“Uhm… just because”

“Perhaps it has to do with the fact that you wish to be around me as much as you can due to your affection for me”

“My what?!”

“Is it not true that you hold romantic affection for me?”

“I-I…. How the hell did you know that?”

“Dr McCoy has informed me about it three months, two weeks and five days ago when he has been intoxicated”

“Wait you knew for almost four months and never said a word?”

“I was thinking you would wish to tell me about it yourself”

“Fuck that’s embarrassing”

“Why do you think so?”

“Well uh, here you are, telling me you knew and you don’t even seem to care. Because you surely don’t like me the same way”

“Your statement is correct” you stood there like struck by a lightning. Of course you had suggested it but hearing it like this, in such words, made it even worse. You really had to ask your friend to stop the stupid betting debt because it did not have the effect as you both wished. “Yet I have considered the information in an attempt to determine what you mean to me. I have come to the conclusion that I care about you in a way I have never cared about another but I cannot say if this is what humans would consider as loving someone, which is why I have found it better to not tell you since it could disappoint you”

“So you say you care about me? But why would this disappoint me?”

“While I am not certain which answer humans expect after the confess their feelings, I do believe that what I have just said is not it”

“Well it wouldn’t be nice to hear this from a human but from a Vulcan it is different. I-I mean I probably have already known you would not ‘love’ me. Or well maybe you do but you would suppress it. I mean… I didn’t even know what I was expecting when I was thinking about telling you how I feel. I never really thought as far as your answer, you know. My mind just always kinda skipped that part”

“If you say that you have skipped my answer, might I inquire the outcome you have imagined?”

“Well there were different scenarios of course. In most of them we just decided to be friends, sometimes we came together as a couple and sometimes it just ended in the most logical way”

“If you would clarify, which is the most logical way?”

“Okay good back then I thought that you’d just tell me you feel nothing for me…. but now you told me that you care for me, whatever exactly that means. So maybe I was right about the friends vision one” you gave a shrug and let out a sigh

“(Y/N)?” he said after some seconds

“Yes”

“I personally would prefer one of the scenarios where we start courting” you stare at him in disbelief.

“But… what if it turns out that you don’t love me or something?”

“(Y/N), as I have already assured you I care about you. And it is a different way of affection than the one I hold for my mother or Jim. Which is why I am certain that it must be a romantic affection”

“Oh” you looked down, then started smiling “Well that sounds awesome” you said “But you don’t even know what I have planned in all my scenarios” he raised an eyebrow

“I am certain you will let me know and I am willing to try out different things since I do not know much of human courtship. Maybe I can use the time I spend on sick leave to carry out some research on the topic” you chuckled

“Only if you want. After all, you live the Vulcan way and I could do some research on that as well. And maybe it’s best if we just do whatever we both are fine with”

“That sounds agreeable” you gave a nod and considered if it was appropriate if you took his hand but then you just decided to do it and see how he reacted. It seemed, like he was a little surprised but then squeezed your hand back, making you smile.

“I suppose that dissolves my betting debt as well”

“Which betting debt?”

“Oh… well” you chuckled, not sure if you should tell him but then grinned “I’m gonna tell you the real reason I followed you around. I lost a bet and because of it, I had to follow you around until you asked me why. But since the Captain heard of it, he made sure to give me a logical reason to follow you around by making me your assistant and asking you not to ask me why I’m following you” he raised his eyebrow again

“Please remind me to offer my thanks to him and your friend”

“No that would be so embarrassing!” you protested “But that doesn’t mean I’m fired?”

“Fire?”

“Well, I only was made your assistant because of the bet”

“I would not have agreed to the proposition if I did not believe you were suitable for the position. If you prefer your previous occupation, however, I will…””

“No! I mean I like it but working with you is fun too. I just thought you would be fed up with me or what do I know. Or that you would not want me as your assistant after I told you the reason why I became it in the first place”

“I have believed humans would enjoy to work with their partner if possible?”

“Well yes, but you’re Vulcan”

“I am also half-human” you chuckled

“So you’ll half enjoy working with me?”

“No, I suppose I will fully enjoy it” you smiled at him

“I’m just asking for my own safety” you heard McCoy call suddenly “Are you two decent so I can let Jim in? Or he’ll rip off my head”

“No you may allow him to come” Spock said “There is something that I and (Y/N) must inform him about” he added with a look to you that could be described as soft. At least for his standards. Well Spock probably was right about one point: you owed your friend a big thank you.

-

Taglist: @softsapphicideals

[lassieposting]

I'm mad at myself for asking this but 💘 skug/alt!Serpine

WHEEZES

U CONVERTED

send me 💘 + A SHIP and i’ll tell you—

where they first met and how

KOTW.

Then, after Skug refuses to kill Serpine at the end of SOW, China spitefully makes him responsible for Serpine's behaviour while he's living in Roarhaven. "Parole officer" isn't part of Skug's job description but honestly he doesn't trust anyone else to make sure Serpine doesn't slip the leash, so

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

I mean, Serpine literally gets his dick out in their very first scene together, and he throws his towel over Val's head so it clearly wasn't for her benefit.

My headcanon is that he did have the hots for his own dimension's Skulduggery before he died. But Serpine has a very warped experience of emotions - he's not insane, and he's not a complete psychopath, but he has very low empathy, an obsessive personality, a considerable sadistic streak and a tendency to be jealous, narcissistic and manipulative. So his crush on Skug was more like an unhealthy fixation - hatred and lust and humiliation and the need to control, all tangled together.

On Skug's side...he has a few lines that read as flirty, in a D/S kind of way. But honestly I don't think this was deliberate. I get the impression he's actually imitating how Serpine spoke to him when he was the prisoner. Serpine's entire arc in SOW can be condensed down to "microdosing on what he put Skug through before killing him". He's surrounded by enemies who want him dead, he loses a body part, he's beaten up, he's humiliated, he's cut off from his magic - and he hates it. I get the vibe that this isn't lost on Skug, and he's repeating things Serpine once mockingly said to him just to rub it in.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Serpine.

I have him converting to the Church of the Faceless as a teenager, so he's spent his entire adult life surrounded by other selfish, scheming social climbers who'd sell him to Satan for a corn chip. His relationship history is chock full of psychopaths. He's used to betrayal and being used by his partners - such is life, as a bad guy.

So Skug protecting him during the Leibniz mission makes quite an impact. He even says himself that Skug has every reason to hate him and want to make him suffer - which is an attempt at empathy considerably deeper than anything we've seen from him before - but he's still shocked and devastated when Skug cuts his hand off. He genuinely expected Skug to decide to fight their way out rather than harm him. To me, that says he's come to rely on having Skug in his corner, which is a security net he is decidedly not used to having.

He doesn't necessarily express it very well? His feelings are complicated, and he doesn't understand most of them. A good part of him still hates Skug, just as a good part of Skug will always hate him. But his fixation on Skug shifts a bit - rather than obsessing over him as an enemy, he obsesses over him as an ally. He starts wanting Skug's approval and digging for praise, he gets sulky and jealous if Skug implies he doesn't trust him or goes to someone else for help or information instead, and he starts trying to insert himself into Skug's life.

Basically, he's gotten over that he spent the past 300 years as Skug's enemy, so Skug needs to be over it too. Right now. And it's unreasonable and unfair that he isn't over it.

where their first date was and what it was like

Skug is willing to acknowledge that if they were a couple, which they're not, because they're arch enemies, then maybe, if you really had to look at anything they do as "a date" then...perhaps the first time they went to the opera could in some way be considered their first date. But it wasn't. Because they're not together. He doesn't even like Serpine. Valkyrie just doesn't appreciate "yowling" and he had nobody else to go with because all his friends are dead.

Serpine will agree with this - but only because he knows that announcing that he lowkey considers their three day torture extravaganza to be their first date would go down like a lead balloon.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

They never have a "going steady" discussion. It's just

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

They're adamant that there's nothing to let anyone know about. They spend a lot of time together, and sometimes Serpine helps with cases, and they angry fuck sometimes, and Skug keeps a few shirts and a toothbrush at Serpine's apartment, but they're not a couple.

who’s more dominant

Skug. Serpine will die mad about it. He complains constantly about how much he gets manhandled during the Leibniz mission, how undignified it is to be cut off from his magic, how everyone tells him to shut up every time he tries to join in a conversation, he hates you all, remember that time he killed people you all cared about?

Unfortunately, Serpine is a massively subby bottom, so dom!Skug makes him deeply horny and even more angry about it. He's the epitome of "Stop looking at my fucking boner when we fight."

where their first kiss was and what it was like

It's New Year's. Serpine is out at a bar with some of his student neighbours because, why not. Skug is at the same bar, questioning the staff about a grizzly murder. The usual. Serpine goes over to say hello and make fun of him for Always Working and tell him he should chill out on occasion because isn't it your fucking birthday and you're still at work??? They're still talking when the countdown finishes and everyone around them starts kissing, which is a completely new concept to Serpine because that tradition wasn't part of the Leibniz dimension's New Year's festivities, so he just sort of panics because everyone else is doing it, grabs Skug by the front of his coat and goes for it.

Skug freezes, because who would know how to react when the man who killed you once tries to go to town on your fake face, and then gets his shit together and promptly arrests Serpine for assaulting a Sanctuary official, because he's petty and he can and Nef needs to learn some fucking boundaries.

They end up lowkey working on the case together through the bars of the temporary holding cell, and although neither of them would admit it, they actually have a good time. At the end of the night Skug relents, lets him out for "good behaviour" and gives him a lift home.

how into pda they are

Serpine is hugely into PDA. He likes a possessive, jealous partner, he's got a bit of an exhibitionistic streak, and ultimately he wants to be wanted enough to be fought over.

Unfortunately for him, Skug is not a PDA fan in the slightest. Serpine finds this bitterly disappointing.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

A Roarhaven restaurant with a live jazz band. Serpine likes the food, Skug likes the music, and it's public - so neither of them feels wrongfooted and vulnerable in the other one's territory. Although, as Serpine likes to point out, it would be a bit difficult to torture and dismember a man in his student accommodation apartment. If he can hear Maddie-across-the-hall having muffled sex with her latest beau from the far side of his flat , he's pretty sure the entire building would hear Skug fighting his way out of whatever diabolical trap he seems to think has been set for him every time he comes over.

who’s more protective

Skug is more obviously protective - he protects Serpine almost the entire time in Leibniz, rows with China in defence of his freedom, and (however reluctantly) steps up to help him settle in Roarhaven. But Serpine is territorial, and he can be surprisingly proactive about it. If Skug comes home injured, he can always tell - no matter how much he tries to hide it - because he's seen Skug at his very worst, he knows what 'trying to mask pain' looks like in the set of that jaw and the grit in that voice. He doesn't like anyone else playing with his toys, so sometimes he'll get very angry and lash out at whoever damaged Skug in the first place.

(He also tends to hover at the clinic like a particularly irritating bad smell. He insists it's because he just finds Skug's pain amusing. He's not concerned. Not in the slightest. He doesn't care at all. No, he will not go home.)

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

They first hook up a few months after returning from Leibniz, but it's a half-dressed up-against-a-wall sort of thing and neither of them sticks around for pillow talk. They don't actually share a bed - as in, fall asleep together - until at least a year later. Technically, the first time they fall asleep together, they're on a stakeout and Serpine dozes off on Skug's shoulder, then wakes up with a cricked neck.

if they argue about anything

Literally everything, 90% of their interactions are arguing. Bickering and snark is the only way they know how to communicate.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Serpine loves leaving marks and doesn't mind getting them, either. He's territorial and has an exhibitionist streak, so he likes everyone knowing who he belongs to, and he's deeply thirsty over the idea of everyone knowing Skug belongs to him.

Unfortunately, Skug is not easy to leave marks on. Any hickies he gives the facade will disappear as soon as Skug turns it off. Some of his scars still show, though - the ones that scored his bones - so at least there's that.

who steals whose clothes and how often

They're not too different in size, so they could probably both get away with it, but everything Skug owns was tailored for him and Nef is narrower in the shoulders, so Skug's shirts don't look quite right on him. That doesn't stop him borrowing a couple to wear around the house, though. He has no stored wealth in this dimension, so he's wearing off the rack until he can get his feet under him again, and Skug's shirts are all obnoxiously fine fabric. It would be silly not to steal a few.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

They're not that cuddly. They do have occasional moments of softness, but it's more likely to be, like. A shoulder bump. Fixing each other's shirt collar. Tending an injury with a minimum of mockery. They do a fair bit of this when no one's watching, though.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

Bickering.

They also both like working cases. The Sanctuary won't officially hire Serpine because he is who he is, but when Skug hits a dead end in a case or has something that's really frustrating him, they'll go over it together. 400 years of enmity aside, their minds work in similar ways, and they're both very good at that sort of thing - if they hadn't met on opposite sides of the battlefield, they probably would have gotten along very well.

how long they stay mad at each other

They've never actually not been mad at each other. They're just all each other has left because all their friends are dead.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

Initially, both black - maximum stimulants for Skug, maximum edginess for Serpine. But then he discovers Starbucks, and all the fancy things mortals are doing with coffee these days, and starts branching out into what Skug calls "frilly froufrou nonsense". After that his drinks are like 95% sugar and syrup.

if they ever split up and / or get back together

They never officially split up. This is mostly because neither of them will admit being together in the first place. They absolutely go through phases of being far more enemies than fuckbuddies, and they know how to push each other's buttons and hurt each other like no one else. This ship is comedic and incredibly toxic in turns.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

They don't live together. Serpine has no idea where Skug lives, and Skug wants to keep it that way. Serpine's flat is technically student accommodation - he just needed somewhere the landlord was too young to remember him from the war - so when Skug crashes there it's usually cramped and noisy and there's a revolving door of neighbours knocking on to ask to borrow some milk/loo roll/"hey, you're old, help me with my history thesis?"/"Are you coming out tonight?"

All Serpine's neighbours think he's a sex worker - to them, he seems to have a different well-dressed sugar daddy staying over every week. They keep trying to set him up an OnlyFans. Skug finds all this very amusing.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

Christmas was banned in Leibniz (as a religious holiday of a banned religion) so Nef hasn't celebrated since he converted in his teens, but he gets into it, because it's an excuse for a party and nobody is policing him. Skug is his usual grinchy grouchy self. Nef also celebrates several holidays that Skug isn't familiar with that were commonplace in Leibniz, but are only observed by strict Faceless worshippers in Roarhaven.

what their names are in each other’s phones

Skug is an old man about his contacts, so Nef is just "Nefarian Serpine".

Serpine, on the other hand, has recently discovered emojis, so Skug is "💀🍆".

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

Who falls asleep first varies; Serpine is a night owl and likes to go to bed in the early hours of the morning, but Skug has some really fucked up working hours, so a lot of the time he's awake long after even the night owls have gone to bed. But it's always Skug who wakes up first - Serpine is Absolutely Not a morning person. He fits right in with the students in his building who have to be coaxed from under the quilt by the smell of frying bacon.

Skug, because he enjoys the odd opportunity to be an asshole, will sometimes wake him with a cup of coffee, and sometimes by holding a flame up to the fire alarm. Variety is the spice of life, Nefarian, didn't anyone ever tell you that?

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

Cuddling is fairly new to Serpine. He's always enjoyed sex, but he has a solid tendency to jump into bed with the enemy - as shown by his laundry list of Resistance conquests - so he's never really gone for relationships where cuddling is a thing. He's more into the "forbidden passion" sort of dynamic.

Skug is a cuddler, but not so much in this particular relationship, for obvious and understandable reasons. Serpine does figure out though that he can burrow under Skug's arm while he's half-asleep or in a postcoital fugue state and Skug will just sort of let him, so he's probably the little spoon.

who hogs the bathroom

Both of them.

Serpine lives in a tiny one bed flat in a student building. His bathroom is miniscule. And when Skug stays over, they're both crammed in there first thing, Serpine trying to shave and do his hair and Skug elbowing him out of the way to cycle through facades until he finds one that's handsome enough to leave the house in. They bicker horrendously the entire time. It's a logistical nightmare.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

Nef kills them. Not because he knows Skug's not a fan, but because he's not allowed to torment humans anymore, so. Last time he checked, killing spiders wasn't an arrestable offence, Skulduggery, stop looking at him like that.

[saphirered]

Something to tug at the heartstrings: How about a sequel to Ghost, wherein the reader loses Lucien a second time but, eventually, finally, finds happily ever after with Kingsley? A sorta soulmate AU, where the reader is just meant to be with this soul. Thank you! 💜

Okay, this one turned out a loooooot longer than I intended but I'm happy with the way it turned out. Definitely something to pull on your heartstrings with a good amount of angst and fluff. Hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting! 😘

-

You knew it was over, the end had come when even across the worlds you felt like a final thread within you had snapped yet you felt nothing, just empty. You knew that moment would come at one point and while you hoped things could have been different… No, things could never have ended differently. Even then, you already knew there was a madness, greed and hunger for power within Lucien he could never escape. Never would it be enough. He’d stop at nothing and would sacrifice everything if that meant he’d achieve his goals. He was willing to do it before, he had done so before and would do it again a thousand times over.

Lucien had been angry, upset, trying to convince you this is not where it had to end between you two. That you could follow him along this path, forever, no longer bound by a fate not your own, a life in the hands of another. You could truly have been free. You could have been like gods among the ants left at the mercy of the whims of circumstance. That’s what he promised you. He promised you greatness, the world, a future of your own making, power, riches, you could have named your price and he’d offered it to you. Lucien had told you no price would be too steep for him but you had found one.

You’d asked him, once faced with the choice, would he choose you or would he risk it all in the pursuit of this damned purpose of his? Lucien didn’t have an immediate answer. Those moments of silence before his honeyed words were enough for you to know the real answer and deflecting, dancing around the truth like he had, all of it was just a dead give away. Nevertheless he tried to keep you at his side because if you know one thing, Lucien is a selfish man and he’d do anything and everything in his power to keep you at his side unless you’d leave of your own volition.

Lavish gifts, romantic gestures, luxuries he’d bestow upon no other, no expense was too great, no time wasted and no love spared. Lucien really went all out to show you just how much you mean to him, how much he needs you, needs you at his side. But nothing could make up for the fact that in the end he wasn’t sure wether he’d choose you or power when faced with the ultimatum. He knew that if he asked you, you’d give your life for him but he could not return the favour and his love knew boundaries set by his idealistic purpose. The more time you spent with him, the clearer that became.

When you became more reserved, coming to terms with this truth that did not mean you distanced yourself from Lucien. You still loved him and that wouldn’t change but like before, you refused to be part of his own demise. You’d not stand idly and watch as he went on a suicide mission with some perverted shadow of what was once living. You don’t know whether or not it was something Lucien had planned, if it was a spur of the moment, if he even was aware he was doing it or the Eyes of Nine reaching out to you but you’d seen the visions, you started waking up being faced with the horrors to a red eye marked on your skin, and another, and another.

And the more you were shown, the clearer it became. You could not be part of this. You’d not resign yourself to this fate and watch the others fall for the whims of one man and his own stupid greed, watch the man you loved fall to his own selfish hunger for power. You’d spare yourself the heartbreak of having your lover be torn away from you yet again. So you left. You did what you couldn’t do before; said your goodbyes and left. If this is truly what Lucien wanted then you would not stand in his way. You’d not be an obstacle but you’d also not be watching from the sidelines waiting for a side to win. You’d not interfere because after all this is the man you’d sacrifice the world for but you’d not stand by and watch him sacrifice you for his own visions. Should he find his way back to you you’d embrace him with open arms. Should he not, you’ll have departed on your own terms and made peace with that. You’d have said your goodbyes.

So when that final thread snapped, the eyes disappeared and a quietness hit you, like all sound had been pulled from the world but the wind and the waves you knew it was over. Lucien was dead and gone and Lucien would not be returning this time around. The world was spared and had gone back into tune. The Mighty Nein had returned and truly became the unsung heroes of Exandria. They did what you could never. They’d risked it all for the people they loved and they succeeded. And while your heart warmed at the thought of that love you also felt an emptiness, an emptiness you’d experienced once before when Lucien was first taken from you.

—————

Even now, that feeling of emptiness, a part of you missing still lingered. It’s as if when Lucien finally passed he took a part of you with him and your life would never be as it was before. You still wouldn’t change a thing. You had found purpose not only in your skills but a sense of belonging among the Revelry. Sure they were a rowdy bunch but something about Darktow and it’s people reminded you of the early days of the Tombtakers. Call it sentimental. But you made yourself useful, proved your usefulness, resourcefulness and connections across Wildemount and beyond to benefit you and ended up with a ship of your own, a respected Captain among Darktow with the favour of the Plank King himself. Though the latter is mainly to do with the copious amount of gold you’ve brought him. You and your crew alone have given the man a private fortune that must have made him richer than the kings of the mainland. Not that you cared. Gold did little to fill that void left in your heart. You had no use for it save for the upkeep of your ship, the payment of your crew and the copious amounts of booze and gambling you and your crew partook in simply because you could.

Life in Darktow and as a member of the Revelry is anything but uneventful but that’s exactly what you need to keep you on your toes. The day you resign yourself to a quiet and restful life is the day you die. You’d been in port for a week and a half and things have been going smoothly. Too smoothly in your opinion because if you know anything it is the gods like messing with your threads of fate a little too much. Perhaps your next voyage will be all storms, or you’ll get stranded somewhere? Maybe the Concord will be on the hunt for you again? A naval battle or a few could be fun? What will the gods throw at you next?

Maybe you shouldn’t have tempted the gods like so because the next thing you see is a tiefling of lavender skin, intricate tattoos all over, and a charming grin on his face attempt to barter with one of your deckhands for something. Your stomach drops, shivers running down your spine and conflicting emotions of joy and pain rush through you all at once. Your bosun shakes your shoulder after seeing you so shellshocked and checks in to see if you’re alright. You shake it off and take a minute to breathe studying the interaction with the tiefling.

Right from the get go you know it’s not Lucien. It couldn’t be and wouldn’t be. Yet it’s also not Mollymauk. However brief your knowing him may have been, you knew well enough this was also not the circus man you’d grown to admire. So who is this? Curious by nature and unrestrained, unbound by the knowledge you probably shouldn’t against all better judgement, you step over to the gangplank on the other end of which your deckhand and the tiefling are conversing. You stand there, crossed arms and just watch. Neither seem to notice you as of now but you’re sure they will if you stay long enough.

As Kingsley goes on, trying to convince this deckhand he just needs to speak to the captain for a brief moment because the Plank King has told him he is to deliver an urgent message, all lies of course, he catches the glimpse of someone that seems familiar to him in some way. He hasn’t ever encountered this person standing at the top of the gangplank before. This isn’t a face he’d forget. He’s never one to forget a pretty face and well, this one’s the prettiest of them all. Okay, he may have seen people as pretty before, so he’ll blame it on attraction then because the moment his eyes fall upon this figure the world just fades for an instant, the words of the deckhand falling on deaf ears but he’s good enough to not let it be noticed.

“You wish to see the captain? Well here I am.” Finally you make your way down the gangplank with a walk that expresses authority and grace but there’s something Kingsley can’t quite put his finger on. You turn to the deckhand.

“I’ll deal with this. Back to work.” The deckhand with a nod to you and not so much as a goodbye to him scurries up the gangplank and goes back to whatever task Kingsley had kept him from.

“My my, captain, I must say your ship is magnificent…” The tiefling tries to sweet talk but the expression you give him shows you’re not buying it. That doesn’t mean he’ll stop trying. He’ll just have to up his charm a little. Kingsley wants a ship and this is a great ship. He meant that part.

“Cut the crap and get to the point. I don’t have all day.” You give the man a wink for some reason feeling yourself slip into that back and forth game of wit and charm you’d had with Lucien. Gods be damned for pulling on those strings again, your heartstrings no less. And damn your own weakness for not being able to resist that charming grin of this man.

“Perhaps this is a conversation better had in private?” Kingsley, as promised picks it up a notch and walks up the gangplank like he already owned the ship but gestures for you to lead the way. Deciding to humour him and yourself you lead the way to your cabin, the door falling shut behind you two.

—————

The events that followed were the beginning of the end and the more time you spent with this man, this new version of the face you’d been so familiar with, the more you felt that emptiness begin to fade. At first Kingsley had tried to persuade you to go to the Plank King to give himself the opportunity to get the ship’s papers and convince the crew that you’d done something terrible and face judgement while he’d offer to vouch for the crew to be spared if they accepted him as captain. When that didn’t work he tried to coax you in sharing a drink with him, one he had spiked with a strong sedative so he could leave you at the docks and sail away. When that didn’t work he tried to sleep with you. Maybe a few days or weeks in your company wouldn’t be so bad. Have you seen you? He could spent hours just getting lost in your eyes.

But he didn’t manage to charm his way into your bed either. You’d caught him on all accounts, somehow figured out all his attempts and called them out exactly how he planned them. It’s like you could read his mind, or at the very least calculate his every move before he’d even done so. He isn’t anything if not persistent. He wanted your ship and he’d work for it. What he didn’t expect was the need to literally work for it when you offered him a job as a second mate since the last one had fallen to the jaws of a dragon turtle.

Over the weeks on your ship you’d eased him into fact that you had a very intimate relationship with Lucien and had met Mollymauk. You knew who he used to be, you knew his story up until a certain point. In turn Kingsley filled in the gaps, though even his knowledge felt more like second hand too. While you both tried keeping your distance when it came to the undeniable attraction between the two of you it was difficult. That pull remained, be it from your own memories of the past, the ghosts that still plagued you sometimes, or his phantom visions and feelings from a life he never lived himself.

You had to come to terms with it but the more you got to know Kingsley and the more he got to know you, why should you keep fighting something you both felt? Why put up walls, put in time and effort in something so… so stupid? So you had a good and honest talk. Set some boundaries and drew a line. You’d see where this would take you and won’t put any pressure or expectations on the other but you certainly wouldn’t spent a moment more trying to fight this stupid pull between the two of you. Those days were over.

The threads of fate could be a twisted thing but at times could be so in a humorous way. Kingsley had ended up with the ship he wanted after all. Not be leaving you stranded, poisoning or even killing you. Instead his secret message from the Plank King did come. Though his had been a lie when you first met, this one wasn’t. With the discourse on the high seas, the tensions between Xhorhas and the Empire on the low and the Concord’s opportunity to look towards the Revelry, you were needed as more than just a captain in a fleet. You’d be a commander instead and your captaincy would have to move to someone else so who else could you have handed it to? Both of you had been laughing like idiots when you finalised the deal and signed over the deed of the ship to Kingsley Tealeaf.

Despite this new promotion you’d still find yourself back on your old ship with Kingsley going on adventures of your own. He made a good captain save for the mornings he’d be preoccupied and slacking leaving his first mate to take over his duties. Coincidentally those were the days you’d spend on the ship and of course the captain could not let you sleep among the crew. No, you deserved a place more suitable of your station; the captain’s cabin. Part of that arrangement neglected to mention to the others was that the captain would be sharing his cabin with you.

So you’d wake up in each other’s arms like plenty of times before, fingers brushing through your hair, gently dancing over your shoulder and arm up and down as the light bleeds through the curtains signalling the afternoon’s approach. And as per usual with a groan, you’d shift and readjust yourself into a more comfortable position and allow your sleeping limbs to wake. A kiss would be pressed to your cheek, forehead, crown, shoulder, neck, wherever was most convenient pulling you from the final clutches of sleep and easing you into the day.

These moments would be spent embracing the quiet sounds of the waves rocking the ship gently and the shanties of the working crew, until one of you decided to break that silence.

“You are the most truthful and up front person I’ve come across in a long time.” Kingsley speaks as he presses a kiss to the top of your head as you wrap your arms a little tighter around him. You look up to him with an amused half smile, final hints of exhaustion still remaining on your features.

“I am a liar, a thief and a killer. I live a life of piracy and plague the seas.” You deadpan and earn a ‘you know what I mean’ look from the tiefling as you flick his chin. He catches your hand before you can do it again and instead kisses your knuckles, holding on tightly with an amused grin as you try to retaliate.

“And yet you stand out among the masses like a beacon. I could be faced with the promises of the world and my eye would still fall to you. I don’t pretend to understand why or how but it’s true.” Kingsley might have given the words a bit more flare but they’re true no less. He doesn’t understand why but the two of you, or whatever version of him, seem to be entwined wherever you go always bound to end up meeting over and over again like you can’t escape. It’s not like he minds because the two of you meeting back up in unpredictable spaces and situations has been rather enjoyable. Especially once you’d gotten a moment to yourselves.

“Are you trying to charm me, captain Tealeaf?” You tilt your head slightly giving him the same look you’d done when you first met; innocent disbelief.

“I don’t know. Is it working? Because if so, I will lie and say it’s intentional.” At this comment you sit up, pulling yourself free and leaning on your elbow to allow your lips to meet in a sweet but quickly heated kiss. There’s a knock at the door and you pull away making move to get out of bed but Kingsley holds you there. He’s got no intention of leaving this bed just yet and neither are you if he can persuade you to stay. Let the outside world stay that; outside.

“You’re a good man, Kingsley.” You stroke his cheek tracing along the peacock feathers crawling up his neck and jaw. Kingsley raises an eyebrow but when you see that half grin crawl up his face you know you might just have said the wrong thing. Not bad but more akin to provoking the devil.

“I am a liar, a thief and a killer. I live a life of piracy and plague the seas.” Your own words are turned against you and you scoff. The knocking on the door doesn’t go away and Kingsley rolls his eyes childishly clearly not wanting to be bothered by the whines and responsibilities of the day just yet.

“Yes. Yes. I head the first time.” He shouts annoyed with the interruption and the knocking stops but instead of making any move of getting up he pulls you into his lap. A surprised giggle escapes your lips as playful kisses are peppered all over your shoulders and neck.

“Did you have to deal with their constant antics or could they figuring things out themselves?” Kingsley asks between kisses.

“Always.” You pull yourself out of Kingsley’s grasp and get off the bed reaching for a shirt and pulling it over your head earning a groan of disappointment from the man. You shake your head in amusement.

“I suggest you get dressed before you have a mutiny on your hands for neglecting your crew, Captain Tealeaf.” You put on your pants and sit down on the edge of the bed to slip on your shoes, tying the laces as you go. You feel the tiefling slip up behind you arms wrapping around your waist.

“Is that an order, commander?” Kingsley whispers into your ear. You smile turning your head to face him, waiting to see who will lean in first and close the gap. The knocking on the door returns and you take this moment to gently flick Kingsley’s chin again as you slip from his grasp and step over towards the door. Kingsley grumbles a collective of rather colourful words making you grin.

“It is, captain. Back to work.”

[sharkselfies]

The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast Transcript - Episode 2

Here is a transcript for episode 2 of The Minds Behind The Terror! In this episode, showrunners Dave Kajganich and Soo Hugh are joined by author Dan Simmons and actor Adam Nagaitis, who plays Cornelius Hickey. They cover episodes 4-6  of the show, getting into Hickey’s psychology and Adam’s incredible acting, Dan’s feelings about never revealing the monster too soon, Adam getting locked in a conference room with the Tuunbaq prop for twenty minutes, and the spectacle that is Carnivale.

The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast - Episode 2

[The Terror opening theme music plays]

Soo Hugh: Welcome to The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast. I’m Soo Hugh, executive producer and showrunner of this labor of love, here with my partner in crime Dave Kajganich, executive producer and showrunner.

Dave Kajganich: Hello. 

SH: Today we welcome The Terror author Dan Simmons, and actor Adam Nagaitis who plays Cornelius Hickey in the TV series. Dan is calling in from Colorado, and Adam you’re here from London.

Adam Nagaitis: I am! Hi! 

DK: Adam and Dan, I don’t know that you have been introduced to one another, so welcome both we’re happy to have you! 

AN: Thank you! It’s lovely to be here. 

Dan Simmons: Thank you. I have to start with just a fanboy meltdown here, I don’t do this, I don’t praise actors that much even when I’ve met them, but I need to use a word that as a novelist and as a mature, American human being I don’t use because the younger generations have appropriated it, it’s the only adjective that they use in their whole vocabulary, but Adam, your performance as Cornelius Hickey was brilliant. It was awesome. 

AN: Thank you so much, Dan, and obviously the feeling is beyond mutual. There is no Cornelius Hickey without you, so, um, really overwhelming to hear someone like you say that, so thank you so much.

SH: This is so touching.

DS: And I’ll confess something else to Adam, the first time I watched it, I thought your character was a good guy because he jumped down in that grave to put the lid back on.

[laughter] 

DS: It was on my second viewing I thought, “Wait, he stole the boy’s ring! Bastard!” 

SH: So this is the second podcast of this series, if you haven’t heard the first one, episode 1, we recommend highly that you go back and listen to those, that first episode will cover episodes 1.01-1.03. Today we’ll talk about episodes 1.04-1.06, and if you have not seen those episodes please, please don’t break our hearts and listen to this podcast! Watch the show first! We’ll have many spoilers that we’ll be discussing. 

SH: So now since you guys have finally met one another, Dan and Hickey--Dan and Adam.

[laughter]

SH: Should we talk about, Dan, just how you first originally structured Hickey in the novel, and we know that you loved Hickey, but your experience watching the show in terms of seeing the changes that we have made and what we’ve kept from the book, how that affected you. 

DS: Mostly the changes that you guys and Adam did for the character of Hickey I think, uh, I don’t wanna praise too much, but they’re marvelous. They showed me a succession of, um, not villains but a complex, sometimes wicked character in a way that I don’t think I got to in the book. My character was like--a bit too much like Iago in Othello, you know, he tended to be motiveless malevolence, or malignancy, which is the way you describe Iago. And there are many Iagos in the world, but the way that Adam created Hickey out of the soft clay of my introduction was marvelous to me. I could just see all the wheels turning in Hickey’s head, all the ways he’s looking for an edge, so I took it to maybe point C or D, you guys took it through Y. 

DK: The last thing that we’ve seen Hickey do is that he has gone through the lower decks of Terror and has shat on a bed...

[laughter]

DK: ...and has found a resignation letter from Crozier that no one is meant to see, because Crozier is now in command of the expedition. We have laid out a different kind of ascension, if you will, or architecture for Hickey’s arc in the show from the book, and I wonder, Adam, if you could speak a little bit to having read, I think, part of the novel and been told to stop reading by me and Soo because we didn’t want you to be confused. How did you receive these episodes, and how did you plan to sort of make the--cover the distance between those two points in Hickey’s arc, which it’s a lot of distance to cover.

AN: There are pieces of the novel that stayed with me and unfortunately I could not get out of my head as much as I would try, ‘cause they were very potent aspects of Hickey, were always useful, but it’s as you said, Dan, it was just that the switch, I’m just backtracking ‘cause there’ll be a reason, but the switch from, the clarification for me, or the justification of his motivations was all really I had to find. A new soul, a new motor. And that motor sort of begins--perhaps changes gear, in episode 4, when Hickey is--I don’t wanna say betrayed? But you know, for the first time he’s proactive about a decision he makes when he goes and grabs Lady Silence.

[show audio]

Crozier: There’ll be no violence towards this woman without charges brought and well proved. Who is responsible for this?

Hickey: I am, sir. 

AN: He’s pushing the boundaries of what his courage is allowing him to do at that point, and he knows that this is dangerous. But it’s also completely necessary and he can’t help himself. And I think he’s fairly sure of a reward. But what ends up happening, he considers himself constantly self-aware, like an incredibly high introspective IQ, that if he’s achieved anything in his life, it’s that he is completely honest with himself at all times. He has these conversations in the mirror all day, every day, just to make sure that he’s sharp, that nobody will call him out on any sort of fracture that they can see within him. He sees his weaknesses, he accepts--that’s a soulful narcissist, I suppose, as a way of describing him, but one thing that has escaped him he realizes is that his desperate need to be accepted, to be loved, to be seen, and be patted, and to be, um, to have that authority figure, whatever you wanna call it, allowing you the rite of passage.

[show audio]

Hickey: Captain Crozier, there’s something I wanna say, but I hardly dare speak the words.

Fitzjames: Oh, speak the words, Mr. Hickey. 

Hickey: Well, of all I know in this world--and of this world… I tell you. That… I do not believe it is an animal we battle.

AN: And he realizes when he gets lashed, this day of sort of revelation, where he understands every time he gets hit, you know, he--I took a lot of the lashing I took through the way that Hickey’s described in the book, that his life has been this low level horror story, and pain is something that is incredibly interesting to him. It’s not something to be avoided, it’s something to be embraced. 

[show audio]

[sound of the lashing, Hickey gasping in pain]

SH: Adam, if we had to break down the whipping scene, ‘cause I mean your performance in that moment, I mean, it’s so extraordinary, the amount of what you were able to pull out physically as well as just emotionally in your face in that scene. Will you walk us through, what did you internally--‘cause in all you were saying about Hickey being with one foot planted in practice but also at the same time being the self-aware philosopher, but in that moment of the lashing, some different, higher kind of understanding must have been in place, ‘cause pain is at work there. Was your process different in that scene? 

AN: You must forgive me as well for goin’ on, ‘cause when I talk about Hickey I get lost 

[Crosstalk, Soo reassuringly saying “No!”]

AN: and I go forever, but I remember it sort of breaking it down, preparing it was breaking it down into how you are perceived when you enter that realm of torture or judgement or whatever it is, and he always is gonna make sure that he didn’t lose the experience in stupid, human things like shame, or, you know, consideration of embarrassment, he never walks in--it’s almost as if there’s never anybody else in the room, he doesn’t care to cloud it. And that was the very first point, was to get in and go, “What does it mean to be punished as a boy?” I was thinking, “You know, that’s it, what does that mean? I wonder what they’re gonna do to me?” When he realizes that and these people around him, that--I don’t know, it’s kind of--I suppose it was such a strange collaboration of sensations, because at the one point, you know, I’m in this, as an actor I’m naked in this scene with all these people, and being punished as a boy should have taken Hickey down, you know, the shame should have overwhelmed him, and it should have been this sort of embarrassing situation, and instead it became empowering. He wasn’t afraid of crying and screaming, and again, it’s not--if it’s practical, and it helps, it’s no big deal. It’s just pain. And everybody else would be in pain, and it doesn’t matter. Even if, you know, if people perceive him as weak, he’ll find a way to get ‘em. It doesn’t matter. 

[show audio]

Crozier: Again.

[whip cracking, ship creaking, muffled groan from Hickey] 

SH: And something we haven’t talked about much yet in these podcasts is this theme of hubris and the hierarchy and the patriarchy, and Dan you explore it fully in your book. In terms of figuring out, you know, where our characters come from, and their foundations and backbones, they come from a very distinct historical period that really thought that their empire was the crowning achievement of human civilization, right? And that the royal navy is this prime embodiment of that conquest. They were gonna go out into the world, find that sea route to China, and the world will be theirs. In both the book and our show, that kind of thinking is what drives them into the heart of peril, right? And what was always interesting about the Hickey character, in some ways, was he questioned--in some ways he’s very--too modern for his times, in some way, in that he questioned that hierarchy, that patriarchy. 

And that’s something that I think Dave and I can both sympathize with as well. The character was so interesting to write for because Hickey was in some ways an easy embodiment of our voice today. And then when you--when we watch your performance, what was great about your performance was it was never slippery, ‘cause it’s really easy to play Hickey as slippery. I always felt that your performance was always located in something very very direct. People can play characters like Hickey where you don’t--they never wanna commit to anything because he’s supposed to be nebulous, or too ambiguous. That was never the situation. When you had that smile on your face, when Irving is saying, you know, “climbing exercises!” we know you’re not playing Irving, which is great, and I think that’s such a success of your portrayal of Hickey, is it never feels slippery. 

DK: Well an awful lot of people came in to audition for this part, and what we found was a lot of people, most people--in fact, everyone but you, Adam--played Hickey as a kind of pre-built villain, and when we saw your first tape come in and you were open-handed, and you were smiling your way through the same monologue that everyone else had put fangs on, we knew that you were our Hickey, because that kind of charisma, and that kind of confidence, and that kind of hubris, in a way, is what were going to be the magic ingredients, I think, it’s what we sort of loved about the opportunity for the show to take the Hickey from Dan’s book and sort of turn it in a different unexpected way so that readers who hadn’t read the book wouldn’t know right off the bat whether they were meant to sympathize with Hickey or be wary of him or both, and I think that’s a great achievement of the performance is you sort of feel you’re on both rails the whole time, and I think that’s kind of an amazing achievement.

AN: That’s how you wrote it! I mean that was exactly--I think that you saw what you wrote, the real strength of that character was in his understanding of himself and his understanding of the hierarchy and how this world functions, you know? He’s studied it, gave him an intelligence, that’s the way I saw it when I read it.

DS: But it’s pretty amazing to think that by this point in the show, you have stolen a dead boy’s ring, you have shit on your ex-boyfriend’s bed, you have murdered our favorite doctor--

[laughter]

I mean there’s a lot, you’ve done a lot of things to turn the audience against you, but I don’t think that’s how an audience will feel! 

AN: All completely justified.

[laughter]

SH: You’re acquitted. 

[laughter]

SH: Can I steer the conversation just slightly in a different direction, ‘cause Dan, you made our lives very difficult in one way, so you have these two incredible set pieces in your book

[Crosstalk, Dave saying “yes.”]

SH: and they happen to fall chronologically so close to each other that production wise we had to film them one episode apart.

[Dave laughing, and he laughs a few more times in the background throughout the following]

SH: So in 1.05 we have the huge Blanky mast Tuunbaq fight sequence, and then in 1.06 we have Carnivale. They are along with something that comes at the end of our show, they are--those two scenes--those two sequences are, you know, some of our biggest biggest, just, action set pieces. They’re just extraordinary spectacles. But Dave and I, you know, we grew many grey hairs in this process because they’re so fantastic in the book, they’re fan favorites in the book, we knew that we had to--we knew we were gonna be pillaged based on whether or not we succeeded in those scenes. So seeing the mast sequence and seeing Carnivale, what did you think? DS: I know the difficulty in putting two set pieces like that close to each other, I mean, the chase with Blanky was pretty dynamic, and even more so from the book to your show, it was very dynamic.

[show audio]

[Tuunbaq fight scene! tense music, Blanky yelling, Tuunbaq roaring]

Hodgson: Fire!

[cannon fires, the shot hits the Tuunbaq and it growls, Blanky falls and screams, the mast creaks]

DS: And I love the character of Blanky, all the way through to, you know, his ending. He’s wonderful. 

SH: Speaking of the mast sequence, what we were discussing prior, this is the first time we actually get to see the Tuunbaq. We’re curious how both of you--you know, ‘cause Dave and I, we’ve been very careful about how we utilize and deploy the Tuunbaq in our show, and making sure also that narratively in the story-wise it didn’t feel like, “Oh, we need to ramp up this episode, we’ll throw the Tuunbaq in,” that we were very more deliberate about when we put the Tuunbaq in our show, and making sure that it didn’t, like Dave was saying, didn’t fit the monster of the week. But I mean Adam, you have a very particular relationship with the Tuunbaq that starts to become revealed in episode 4, could you just walk through how you were thinking about it? 

AN: The way that I started to think about the Tuunbaq was as a character, that was the best way for me to think about it, as another, you know, another member of the narrative in general, and it’s a person--it, of all the people, there are only, including the Tuunbaq, there are two that I respect: Crozier, who I see as something of maybe a soul mate, would be a way of describing it; and the Tuunbaq, who I see as a person who is, he or she is, true to themselves and unafraid, and undeterred, and pure in their resolve, you know, and their execution, and so it’s almost admiration and mutual respect, and that when that Tuunbaq looks at me, and I look back, that I see myself. And I see what I might become, you know, and I have--and Hickey sees himself as having elements that the Tuunbaq doesn’t have, you know, the idea of, Hickey so rarely sees people that he acknowledges, that, in his mind, deserve or warrant his acknowledgement, and when he first meets eyes with the Tuunbaq, that’s what he goes through.

[show audio]

[wind whirling, footsteps, Tuunbaq growling]

DK: Dan I was always curious to ask you about the Tuunbaq in terms of your creation of that creature. I mean in our research we found elements of different sort of spirits from Inuit mythology that seem like the Tuunbaq is kind of an amalgam of, can you walk us through sort of how you hit on that idea and what parts of it are from Inuit mythology that you can remember and what parts of it are your own invention, or just how that creature came to be, it’s such an interesting, fascinating creation?

DS: That’s a good question, I’ll answer it, but first I wanted to add an unharmonious, non-praising comment, which is when I was watching the series on my little computer screen and I got to the Tuunbaq chasing Blanky up the rigging and so forth, I paused the show, walked out in my front yard, aimed west, and shouted, “Don’t show the fuckin’ Tuunbaq!”

[laughter]

DS: “Not yet!” I’m sure you heard that. 

SH: Did you think we showed it too much in that sequence? 

DS: I did when I saw the sequence. When I’d seen the show front to back, one and a half times now, I think it’s fine. Dave, you remember, when we first talked about things, that was--I was stressing that left, right, and center, which is--I was basing it on a favorite movie of mine, which nobody else has as a favorite movie, but it’s the 1951 version of The Thing. Howard Hawks directed it even though he gave the credit to his DP, but he directed it, and it got so every time a door opened, every head, every person turned to look. And the monster turned out to be James Arness in a silly suit. But the tension was tremendous, and I think you guys build up very nicely, you know, everybody’s ready, looking over his shoulder, there’s that scene where somebody does, and the wiser man says “It’s only the ice, Georgie, it’s only the ice,” but of course it’s not.

[show audio]

[Neptune the dog barking]

Strong: He’s been goin’ on like that since the wind died. 

Hartnell: Take your wigs off. 

[rustling, wind whistling, Neptune continues barking]

Hartnell: Don’t you hear that?

DK: It was a fine line to walk, because on the one hand, you know, I don’t know if anyone would have made the show if it didn’t have, you know, quote unquote “a monster” in it. So we were trying to be very intelligent on how we deployed the Tuunbaq in the show, and wanted to make sure that when we did it didn’t feel like it was meant to spice something up, that it felt sort of earned, in some way, and you were confident that the less we showed of the Tuunbaq the better. But that isn’t--it’s not the easiest sell if you don’t happen to agree with this point of view, and you know, luckily we were sort of able to have our cake and eat it too, in a way, but still, even when episodes one, two, and three aired, we were reading reviews and people’s comments online saying, “Is there a creature in this show or isn’t there?”

DS: Or what, yeah. 

DK: Some people really want that settled, and so we tried to do it both ways, we tried to show just enough to make sure that it felt like we weren’t being coy about it, but not so much that we exhausted what’s interesting about it.

SH: And also the fear--there is a danger, if you put it off, ‘cause, Dan, Dave and I agree with you that you wanna hold off the reveal of the monster as long as possible because it’s just gonna be more satisfying that way, but there’s a tipping point to that as well, of course, you know, right? ‘Cause if you delay it too long then the expectations are almost too great. And when you delay the monster for so long the level of perfection that the audience is gonna expect is never--we were never gonna please them. So at some point, by finding that right balance point of “we show them enough that they know we’re not playing coy with them.” 

DK: We also had a storytelling reason, a really good one, to make sure we did show it up front in the first third of the season, which is, you know, by the time you reach episode six you realize there’s something wrong with the Tuunbaq, that it is getting sick, or it is going off somehow, I mean, when Lady Silence finally decides that she’s going to offer her tongue to it in hopes that it will accept her as a Shaman and that she can contain this sort of mythological disaster that’s happening, and it rejects her, and it shows up to that scene looking a little woozy, and you know, there’s obviously a cause to be concerned about it.

[show audio]

[eerie music, Tuunbaq growling and snuffling]

DK: That wouldn’t have landed if we hadn’t seen, in some form, the Tuunbaq in all of its majestic glory. You know, we think of the Tuunbaq as quite presidential, in terms of its comportment, you know, that it is a pure expression of this mythology, it is the keeper of equilibrium, it is neither a hero nor a villain. But by the time we get to episode six, we should be feeling a little bit panicked about what this creature is becoming. It seems to be falling apart in front of us in the same way that the men are.

SH: Our Tuunbaq exists. We don’t play that game of “it’s a figment of our characters’ imagination.” That is one route we could have gone, we did not wanna do that. 

DK: Adam, I don’t know if you remember, when we finally got the scale model head of the Tuunbaq to Hungary, and we had it in a conference room, I think, and I grabbed you from set and I didn’t tell you where you were going, and I took you to a door and I pushed you through it and closed it behind you, and in that room was the Tuunbaq, and you were the first person in the cast to see it. Do you remember what that experience was like? 

[laughter]

AN: That was terrifying! 

[laughter]

AN: I do remember, I remember that day very very well. It was just a head on a stick, wasn’t it? 

DK: A big head, but yeah.

SH: Enormous. 

DK: It was just the head--

AN: A great big head on a stick! And I knew the importance of it, so I sort of closed my eyes and opened them. I remember thinking, it was the eyes, the human eyes, that convinced me that it was a unique, thinking machine. It was a unique creature that had--that was worthy of respect, that was kind of the thing that I remember thinking about it. And of course it was terrifying. But yeah, I remember the teeth, the human teeth. It was so brilliant, it was so brilliantly conceived. I remember it was head height, and I just stood in front of it for a while.

DK: I remember it was twenty minutes before I opened the door!

AN: You opened it for a long time! I was like, uh, is it gonna move? It was great. It was really scary.

DK: So Dan, walk us through where it came from. I mean, this is a creation from, almost from scratch, I think, from you. 

DS: Well first I built the Tuunbaq out of what I think is a good monster and would be a good monster in the Arctic. And after constructing it, I went just tearing through Inuit mythology and stories and oral tales for quite a while before I found the right creature. He was called Tuunbaq in the mythology, but it could’ve been Sedna, Sedna was a great sea monster. They have so many wonderful beings. But you guys summed it up in dialogue…

[show audio]

[man speaking Inuktitut, another man translating] 

Translator: From the Shamans… the thing that eats on two legs and four… a thing made of muscles… and spells. 

James Clark Ross: I don’t understand. Is he describing a man? 

Translator: Sorry, Sir James. I don’t know what the hell he’s describing. 

DS: That was the best summary of the Tuunbaq that I’ve heard. I’m gonna steal it from you if I ever do readings on this book again.

DK: Oh good.

[show audio]

[men cheering]

Fitzjames: There it is. We’ve not heard that sound in far too long.

DS: I especially enjoyed Carnivale. I like it that you didn’t follow my lead and turn the Carnivale on the ice into the scene from The Masque of the Red Death. I had a sailor who’d actually read that story in Boston in my novel, so he’s the one who set up the Carnivale with all the rooms from the Edgar Allan Poe story, and yours, the idea of celebrating, going home essentially, when the sun rose, that made a lot more sense to me. 

DK: Well do you know the reason we went in that direction, I think in the writer’s room when we were discovering all the different sort of signs and symptoms of things like scurvy, nostalgia was considered a primary symptom of scurvy, and one way you could diagnose it. And we thought, well, if these men were going to throw a party and all bets were off in terms of what the theme of that party would be, we wanted to embrace the likelihood that a lot of those men who were in early stages of scurvy at that point might have leaned too heavily on nostalgia. And that gave us a kind of a surprising new sort of code to sort of explore in Carnivale. 

[show audio]

Fitzjames: Come on, boys! 

[cheering]

Fitzjames: Now, let’s get our hair good and powdered before that damn sun finds us again.

[more cheering]

DK: The idea that Dr. Stanley, who has a child back in England, and, you know, has a clear sense of what the kind of illness that’s on the table being discussed could do to the men, and he hears the news of the beginning of episode six that they’re probably running out of food and, you know, the episode, that episode six is called “A Mercy” for a reason, that really Stanley thinks he’s doing a great favor to all of the men by killing them. And it just was--I’m curious, when you watched that reveal in particular, that the Carnivale disaster was not going to come from the Tuunbaq but was going to come from somebody who was a kind of Cassandra in a way, like understood what was coming, in a way that lot of the men didn’t understand, whether that rang true emotionally to you in terms of how you would position these characters at that point in the novel.

DS: In the novel, you don’t have to compress time like that. The things can almost coexist and still work. So I had a little more freedom to do the Carnivale. But when you showed the malignant motives of the various people behind it, the doctor and so forth, the burgeoning insanity made sense.

[show audio]

[distorted music, liquid pouring, yelling]

Crozier: Hold him, hold him!! 

[flames crackling, more yelling]

DK: Hickey’s arc between episode four and episode six, you sense someone who’s coming into a power, but doesn’t exactly know yet how he wants to use it, and is scanning other people and other relationships to try to find out where will the advantage come from. And I think what’s great about the final shot we have of Hickey in six, that is Hickey just before someone tells him, probably, that they’re going to be walking out.

AN: By the time we reach episode six, he’s well on the way to formulating in the material world, in our physical world, to formulating his sort of group. What’s going on inside him, what’s going on in his--maybe even subconsciously, or even very very very quietly consciously, is a furthering of his understanding that this universe is for him. These happenings are for him. They have his name all over them, his real--and since the beginning of his life he’s been checking the dials, trying to tune into the right radio station where there’s a clear voice of the numinous, or the supernatural, or the universe, or God, or whatever you wanna call it. He’s hoping for the clear voice that says his name. 

DS: I have a question for Dave and Soo, which you looked at the muster of the crew as I did, you know, I had to decide who was what in a fictional term, you have about 127 interesting stories if you want to pursue them, but were you aware early on that there was gonna be one messiah developing in the story? 

SH: I don’t know if we looked at it in terms of a messiah figure.

DS: Ah, but Hickey does. 

DK: In these episodes, I think he doesn’t quite yet know what he’s going to become, except he knows he doesn’t have to be subservient anymore to other people’s versions of what he could become. I think he’s not quite sure where he is. He knows he’s just moved from one ladder to another ladder, he’s no longer on sort of the hierarchical ladder of the ships, he’s on a bigger ladder and he’s climbing, and he doesn’t quite yet know what heights that will reach, but it’s fascinating to see Hickey unleashed in these episodes, but not yet know what he’s going to put his power toward. 

[audio from the show]

[the music from the end of episode six during the brief moment of sunrise plays]

SH: 1.04-1.06 takes place from the last sunrise of the year, and then the end of 1.06 is the sunrise of the year, so in terms of just that lovely visual metaphor, it’s also our dark nights, where we have polar nights. Did you guys, watching the episodes, did you guys feel that darkness? You know, Dave and I were so curious whether or not people understood what it feels like to live in perpetual darkness for months, and whether or not our audience was gonna get that. How did that come through for you? DS: The darkness, it was a hard thing, I think, to do in a series like this, it’s pressures, like the men in the ship not only have the pressure of the ice groaning and moaning and growling and pushing at the ship, they have the pressure of the months of darkness. And I think you did it well, I don’t know if it was a reviewer or a friend who said the show is all about--in the ship it’s all about claustrophobia, outside the ship it’s all agoraphobia, fear of open spaces. 

SH: Oh that’s wonderful! 

DK: Absolutely. We talked a lot about that in the writers’ room, about how there was--we didn’t know which was worse, you know, and characters would have different opinions about that. Is it better to be sort of sealed up in almost a coffin-like environment, or is it better to be exposed with no way to protect yourself? I don’t know what I would choose. 

[The Terror opening theme music plays]

SH: So that is episodes 1.04-1.06, Dave and I are here with Dan and Adam, and it’s been such a pleasure you guys, thank you for joining us, and next time we’ll be covering episodes 1.07 and 1.08. Dan and Adam, both of you will be back as well. 

DK: Wonderful. 

DS: Great. 

SH: Thank you! 

[preview snippet from the next episode plays]

AN: In complete honesty, it never occurred to me that any of those things were cruel or despicable!

[laughter]

[poliel]

It's Not Okay

The promised post bad end fic that I wrote because playing through it made me sad.

~

Buddy’s apartment was surprisingly small for someone who owned an airship. Though considering their job – more like former job – they probably spent more time out of it, running after story leads than in. But hey, Filbo was allowed to leave it finally now that the snakification had worn off. He could leave all the way if he wanted to, go back to his own life from before Snaktooth. But… he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay in fact, maybe not for forever but for a while at least. If Buddy was okay with that anyway.

He found Buddy on the couch. They weren’t doing anything, not even watching TV. Instead, they just sat there, staring at nothing. Not an unusual way to find them these days. It was a drastic contrast to how all over the place they’d been on the island. But at least they were finally resting, right?

“You still upset about being fired?” Filbo said as he stepped further into the room. They’d been quite irate about it since this morning but seemingly had finally cooled off.

Buddy turned their head to briefly glance at him. “Not anymore. I deserved to be fired.”

“That’s not true. Even edited, your story was great and you worked so hard on it back on the island.” To the point of hurting themself but that didn’t need to be brought up right now. “After everything you put into it, you’re the person who deserves to be fired the least. If that Clumby lady can’t see that then well… that’s on her.”

Buddy sighed but didn’t respond even when Filbo walked around to sit next to them. He wanted to comfort them and offer his support but… neither of them had talked about what had happened on the island in handful of weeks they’d been here. They’d both danced around it when figuring out what parts of the story would be okay to tell and how to phrase other parts to omit the presence of bugsnax, even as it hung heavy in the air between them. They couldn’t keep pretending it hadn’t happened forever but… how was he supposed to bring it up? He didn’t even really know what had happened, he’d been too busy fixing the balloon to even glance down at town. So how was he supposed to offer them any kind of real comfort?

Because he didn’t know what to say the silence between them stretched. Growing seemingly more awkward and heavy every passing second. Just when it was reaching a point in which Filbo was sure he couldn’t stand it any longer Buddy finally broke it, speaking softly as they turned to look at him.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Smile. Act like things are okay. Sometimes it seems like it doesn’t even really bother you. But I know that can’t be true. So how do you do it?”

“I just don’t think about it. It’s like the one thing I’m good at. I put all the painful and bad thoughts away and put on a smile for everyone around me instead.” Because he didn’t know how to do anything else and because he needed to be there to support Buddy especially after how much Buddy had done for him back on the island. Even if it had all ultimately fallen to ruin.

“That can’t be healthy.”

Filbo shrugged. “It works though.” Until it didn’t anyway. Often at night when he was alone it would hit him and become overwhelming. But that was how it had always been. “You uh… want to talk about what happened?”

“Not really.” They looked away, their eyes unfocusing in the general direction of the TV.

“Okay. But if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll be here for you, all right?” It was the least he could offer.

“Thanks.”

Silence fell between them once more. Not awkward or terribly heavy this time though. Now might be a good time to bring up Filbo’s desire to remain roommates indefinitely. But… after a couple minutes he got up instead and went to the kitchen.

Where despite being a little hungry, he very much wasn’t in the mood to cook anything. And eating anything uncooked was not an option he was willing to truly consider. So he made some tea instead. He prepared a cup for Buddy too because why not? And because it kept his mind and paws occupied for that little bit longer.

He was soon headed back into the living room though. “I made tea,” he said with a smile as he handed Buddy their cup.

They muttered a halfhearted, “Thanks,” as he settled down beside them again. Before he could decide between trying to talk to them about staying or just turning the TV on, they spoke up again, staring into the mug as they did so. “It’s my fault everyone died.”

Filbo took a breath to deny that because it simply couldn’t be true. But… he bit back on it. They were finally talking about it and he didn’t want to discourage that. So he kept silent for now.

“They were all depending on me to help them but I… couldn’t. I tried but there were just so many. The… the swarm didn’t even pay any attention to me even though I was right in front and the one with the weapon. It wasn’t enough though, they ran right past me and into… And everyone just… and then… Everyone died because of it. If I had just…” They cut off with a surprised hiss of pain as their still hot tea sloshed over the side of their mug and onto their shaking paws. With a grimace, they leaned over to put it on the coffee table.

“You okay?” Filbo asked unsure if he was asking after how badly they’d burned themselves, their emotional state or both.

“No.” Buddy pounded a fist into the couch’s armrest. “Everyone died because of me. I always thought I was competent and strong, that I could get stuff done. But when it really mattered, I was none of those things and people diedbecause of it. Basically, all I could do was watch it happen.” They’d started mad but their voice quickly lost its strength as they curled in on themself, pressing their paws to their sides of their head. They were starting to cry.

Filbo quickly put his own mostly untouched cup of tea on the coffee table too so he could scooch closer to them. Unsure of what else to do and not wanting to cross any boundaries, he put a paw Buddy’s shoulder. They flinched and stiffened hard enough that he immediately started pulling away. Before he could do much more than take his paw off their shoulder though, they uncurled themself to throw their arms around him instead.

The position was a little awkward because they were still sitting next to each other but regardless they clung to him tight enough to almost be painful, pressing their face into his shoulder as their shoulders shook with sobs. He wrapped his arms around them and patted them gently on the back. He took a breath to say that was it was okay or something similar but… it wasn’t okay. Nothing about what had happened was or could ever be okay.

All their friends were dead, Liz and Eggabell most likely among them too because really, what were the chances they’d survived? People who Filbo had lived and worked beside for about a year. People who he was supposed to have been in charge of and taking care of after Liz’s disappearance. Largely with Buddy’s help they’d gathered everyone up and they’d all been starting to get along. It had been great and potentially the start of something wonderful but… they were all gone forever now. And as if a cherry on top, they’re deaths had all no doubt been awful and torturous.

Now Filbo was crying too, clinging just as tight to Buddy as they were to him. He shouldn’t because he was supposed be comforting Buddy but… he couldn’t stop now that he’d started.

-

Eventually they both stopped crying and their tight embrace ended. Long before Filbo was ready to let go even if the weird position was growing increasingly uncomfortable. Neither of them made any move to pull further apart though, remaining close enough that they could touch again with little effort.

“Sorry,” Buddy said with a small sniffle, looking away. “I didn’t mean to dump all that on you. You shouldn’t have to comfort me.”

“I… I want to though.” Especially since there wasn’t anything else he could do for Buddy right now.

Buddy sighed, shaking their head. “If anything, I should be comforting you. All of them were your friends for a lot longer than they were mine. And they all died because I couldn’t save them. So you should be mad at me for…”

“No! I could never be mad you. And it’s not your fault.”

“It was though. They were depending on me and I failed. You weren’t there so you can’t…”

“Then maybe it’s my fault. If I had gone with you then maybe we could’ve…”

Now it was Buddy’s turn to interrupt. “No. If you had gone with me, you’d have died too. And then there would’ve been no one fueling the ship for the escape so I would’ve died as well.”

Filbo couldn’t argue with that even if it still felt like he could’ve and should’ve done more to save his friends. Still though… “It’s not your fault.” He wasn’t going to let that point drop because it wasn’t true. “I saw how you interacted with all of them in town, all that work you put into helping them with stuff. If you couldn’t save them then well… no one could, not alone anyway, not even Liz.”

Buddy looked like they were going to argue but thought about it a few seconds instead before letting out a sigh. “Maybe you’re right. I could’ve done more for them before though and maybe they would’ve had the will to resist for longer, giving me time to save them. They all had things they wanted me to do for them. And I was going to do them but… I thought I could find Liz first and thenfinish helping everyone.”

“Or maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference. So don’t blame yourself, okay?” If Filbo had known they’d been blaming themself for everyone’s death this whole time he would’ve made sure to insist on this point long before now. “It’s not your fault.”

Buddy was silent for a few seconds before suddenly standing up. “And here you are trying to comfort me again, the exact thing I don’t want.”

“Then stop blaming yourself.”

Buddy glared at him in annoyance but it quickly melted off their face, leaving exhaustion in its wake. “Sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with me and my problems. I’m going to go take a nap.” They turned and started walking away.

Filbo got up too and placed a paw on their shoulder, stopping them and turning them back around before could get more than a few steps away. He wasn’t going to let this conversation end here. “I want to be here for you though.”

Buddy paused, their eyes welling up with tears again. “You do? Why?”

“Because I care about you. And because… I need you. You’ve been the only thing keeping me going since we got back from Snaktooth.” Maybe the way he was dealing with his grief wasn’t good or healthy but clearly neither was Buddy’s way of dealing with it. “And… I don’t know and I wouldn’t want to speak for you but… maybe you need me too. You certainly need someone, right? Because who could bear to go through this alone? So… so… let’s be there for each other, huh? We could comfort each other and stuff. Please Buddy. I… I can’t do this alone. And I don’t want you to either and I just…”

Buddy hugged him. “Okay.” They pressed their warm body into him as their chest rumbled with a weak but still comforting purr that Filbo found himself mirroring before giving it any thought as he held them close again. “You’re right, I need you. Thanks for being here for me.”

If Filbo hadn’t just gotten done crying himself out a little bit ago he’d probably have burst into tears again. As it was, he just squeezed Buddy a little tighter. They were the only good thing to come out of his decision to follow Liz to Snaktooth and he wasn’t about to let them punish themself for what happened.

Eventually their embrace ended. But they remained close, holding paws and purring softly to comfort each other.

“Does this mean I can keep living here?” Filbo asked. “Like… indefinitely.”

“Oh, uh… yeah, of course. I’d like that. I didn’t even consider that you might leave any time soon.”

“Cool, thanks. And uh, thanks for… everything else too.” There was more Filbo wanted to thank them for than he could easily put into words.

Buddy hummed acknowledgement, rocking back and forth on their feet for a seconds before speaking again. “Were you serious about that running for mayor thing this morning?” It was an abrupt topic change but… they were both too emotionally spent for anything else by now.

“Yep. Maybe not right away like I first thought though. I think I still need some time. Not to get over it, because who could every really get over something like that, right? But to… I don’t know, you know what I mean though, right?”

“Yeah, I do. Now let’s um… reheat our tea in microwave, it’s probably cold by now. And then we can find something relaxing to do to get out minds off stuff. I think I’ve had about all the emotional stuff I can take for the day.”

“Me too honestly.” And Filbo had somehow completely forgotten about the tea. A shame because fresh tea always tasted the best. Reheated tea was better than cold though so… he reluctantly let of go of their paws and turned away.

It wasn’t long though before they were on the couch again with hot tea, leaning into each other and purring softly as they watched TV. Things still weren’t okay but for the first time since escaping from Snaktooth Island it felt like they were actually starting to head in the direction of getting better.

[elthadriel]

Hi! So, ‘Love each other with abandon’ is one of my ultimate favourite pieces of work from any fandom I’ve been in. I 100% do not ship Codywan (like, NOTP levels of do not ship) but the way you wrote the dynamic between the brothers was phenomenal. I agree with the post you made regarding Cody’s characterization concerning Obi Wan, but I think the way you wrote him with his brothers was pretty much how I envisioned them. Anyway! For the fic commentary I was wondering if you’d mind breaking down from “I swear, Fox, I will kill you in this bar. How much?” To “Cody loves them both so much.” Of whatever part you think displays them as individuals and together best? There was so many to choose from.

Have a lovely day💙

Thank you for the kind words. As I’ve said in the past, it’s a fic I have complicated feelings on but while I’d approach it differently now, I don’t regret writing it. And the parts with sibling nonsense are some of the parts I’m still the most happy with.

I rewrote this entire scene a handful of times because a) Fox will not stop fucking talking ever, and b) because it was one of the last scenes I wrote and I’d already decided what I should have done with this fic and kept writing the scene as if I’d done that. One of the things I wish I’d added is subplots where it’s clear Fox, Wolffe, and Rex were all sort of dealing with their own shit, and were avoiding doing with it directly, in the same way that Cody was using his fixation on Obi Wan to avoid really acknowledging the whole personhood problem. There’s still lingering stuff — like Wolffe’s relationship with Plo, and Fox’s jokes about how miserable his job makes him that ring a little too true — but they weren’t all that fleshed out, and I was trying to introduce those themes and wrap them up all in one scene and it was a clunky mess.

So I got formulaic, which I do when I’m really struggling to get a scene to come together. Normally I’d put in a table so it looks a little prettier than this, but it basically goes:

What is the point of the scene? —> How do I achieve that?

Cody is making a conscious effort to be more involved in Fox and Wolffe’s lives and making sure they’re involved in his —> Make sure that between shit talking there are moments of sincerity.

Differences between when Cody is with Wolffe or Fox one on one vs all three together —> shifting target of who’s being bullied at that moment. Easier to defuse tension. When Cody is with Wolffe and Fox they sometimes upset each other but when there’s a third party there they can deflect and make sure everyone is on the same page.

Obi Wan and Cody are friends now —> Cody and Obi Wan have barely any scenes together because Cody was focused on the idea of OW rather than him as a person. Clearing the air has allowed them to form an actual relationship.

Highlight some of the age difference between Obi Wan and the clones —> Different in general life experience but also their approach to things. They’re left alone and immediately are 20 year old idiots who each think they are the only mature adult of the group.

Then I engage in the fun task of hacking out everything that doesn’t aid one of these goals. Once I have a draft some of the stuff I just particularly liked can be added back in, but it helps me stay on topic.

This section in particular is a lot about the first two goals. Cody gets bullied over OW, and then they shift it around on Fox, but there’s a couple of moments where they are serious and places were how they are working to some issues in their relationships. Fox has been shown in a previous scene that he’s not good at recognising when he’s crossing a line, and this time, he is much more careful to make sure that everything is landing as a joke. Like Fox’s joke about Plo being Wolffe’s father, I wanted to show a comfort in poking in vulnerable places other people wouldn’t get away with, while also showing a respect for hard drawn boundaries.