#just let's keep the mutual
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It seems my love language turned into sending random memes through my mutuals' ask as I don't know how to keep a long conversation 😔🤲
#I'm so sorry to bother you all#I hope you understand my lack of communication#but I love you#i don't mind if you bother me back#just let's keep the mutual#pls don't hate me
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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new fucking video just dropped babes
#thanks to my mutual keira for posting about this and letting me know oh my god. it just keeps getting worse.#hbomberguy#james somerton#todd in the shadows
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2023 year in review with hyunjin [it’s a wrap] 🎉
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#*with hyune#they are not positioned as they came. i wanted to match him with the hyunpics 🥹#this is not nearly half of the shit they did this year#but a girl can only add so many pics.#2023 marking the year i could actually see u live too.. is crazy it’s so sosososo crazy and it still brings tears to my eyes#waited for it so much and for so long and it blew my expectations away 😣#i keep being so hooked on u year after year and it hasn’t changed at all this year too..#ig im just in this hyunjin shaped ride for life#ilu… i wish i could thank you personally for saving me every year 👍🫠#also happy new year to mutuals and all the other followers 💘 i love u and i appreciate u all and i hope#all the good an lovely things come#to your way in 2024 💖 let’s all assemble in europe when skz comes here heh#<- this is me manifesting.
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff#hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3#doodles#sketches#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me
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Love how carla went from 'hmm idk idkk I like her but this is so new haha uncharted waters I mean like' to 'DONT. GET. DRESSED' in a matter of minutes
#she's crazy shes insane for this one#okay but the way they both look at eachother to confirm that this is indeed what they both want#the absolute feral lust taking over#they way they both so desperately want this need this even#but deep down carla knows It'll be temporary#one small thing and the distance between them grows once more#when she hears the call from betsy she just knows its going to end#because lisa is so good at running away#and carla knows this. carla even spits it in her face she tells it like it is#and she just wants lisa to see that her words are truth and she can be happy and she wants to be happy and carla wants it to be with her#she cant keep running away she cant keep letting betsy dictate what she thinks is right for her#she needs to stop being a coward and just listen#carla knows it was over before it even started#but neither can actually keep away for long#their relationship has become too mutually dependent#and even through gritted teeth even while spitting vitriol carla will always always defend lisa#because its truly all she wants. for lisa to be happy and for betsy to step down from her red haze#just owch#coronation street#swarla#carla x lisa#carla connor#lisa swain#i love and hate these women and they will be the death of me
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as yr favorite local jason todd fan sometimes i get so fed up with the apparent inability of most dc comic writers to write a class conscious narrative about him.
and yes, i know that comics are a very ephemeral and constantly evolving and self-conflicting medium.
and yes, i know they’re a profit-driven art medium created in a capitalistic society, so there are very few times where comics are going to be created solely out of the desire to authentically and carefully and deliberately represent a character and take them from one emotional narrative place to another, because dc cares about profit and sometimes playing it safe is what sells.
and yes, i know comics and other forms of art reflect and recreate the society within which they were conceived as ideas, and so the dominant societal ideas about gender and race and class and so on are going to be recreated within comics (and/or will be responded to, if the writer is particularly societally conscious).
but jesus christ. you (the writer/writers) have a working class character who has been homeless, who has lost multiple parents, who has been in close proximity to someone struggling with addiction, who has had to steal to survive, who may have (depending on your reading of several different moments across different comics created by different people) been a victim of csa, who has clearly (subtextually) struggled with his mental health, who was a victim of a violent murder, and who has an entirely distinct and unique perspective on justice that has evolved based on his lived experiences.
and instead of delving into any of that, or examining the myriad of ways that classism in the writers’ room and the editors’ room and the readers’ heads affected jason’s character to make sure you’re writing him responsibly, or giving him a plotline where his views on what justice looks like are challenged by another working class character, or allowing him to demonstrate actual autonomy and agency in deciding what relationships he wants to have with people who he loves but sees as having failed him in different ways, or thinking carefully about what his having chosen an alias that once belonged to his murderer says about his decision-making and motivations, you keep him stuck in a loop of going by the red hood, addressing crime by occupying a position of relative power that perpetuates crime & harm rather than ever getting at the root causes, and seesawing between a) agreeing with his adoptive family entirely about fighting nonlethally in ways that are often inconsistent with his apparent motivations or b) disagreeing and experiencing unnecessarily brutal and violent reactions from his adoptive father as if that kind of violence isn’t the kind of thing he experienced as a child and something bruce himself is trying to prevent jason from perpetuating. because a comic with red hood, quips, high stakes, and familial drama sells.
it doesn’t matter if it keeps jason trapped, torn between an unanswered moral and philosophical question, a collection of identities that no longer fit him, and a family that accepts him circumstantially. it doesn’t matter if jason’s characterization is so utterly inconsistent that the only way to mesh it together is to piece different aspects of different titles and plotlines together like a jigsaw. it doesn’t matter if you do a disservice to his character, because in the end you don’t want to transform him or even understand him deeply enough to identify what makes him compelling and focus on that.
and i love jason!!!!! i love him. and i think about the stories we could have, if quality and art and doing justice to the character were prioritized as much as selling a title and having a dark and brooding batfam member besides bruce just to be the black sheep character are prioritized. and i just get a little sad.
#jason todd#jason todd meta#red hood#batfam#batman#dc comics#comic analysis#classism#tw: csa mention#maybe someday half of the most intriguing and nuanced aspects of his character will be touched upon#red hood outlaw 51-52 had some cool moments wrt jason + class + hometown friends + systems of power but. that was a two issue arc#and even then it was admittedly messy#GOD i want him to be three dimensional and well rounded and well used#even if a writer wrote a fucking. filler comic for an annual or smthn exploring what jason does outside of being red hood#keep the name if u want. have him have deliberately taken the name of his killer and twisted it until ppl from his city know rh#as a protector of kids and the poor and sex workers and so on. that WORKS. but show him connecting w his community#have him get involved in mutual aid. have him do something when he’s not out as red hood at night. let us see jason & barbara interact more#or jason and steph !!!!!!!! or another positive but complicated dynamic (he has a lot of those)#i just. i think that his stagnancy makes me fucking sad. i liked some aspects of task force z. felt like it ended too soon tho#FUCK the joker lets unpack his self concept & have him be a real person outside of vigilanteism (?) and vengeance#i liked some aspects of the cheer arc in batman urban legends mostly bc he had SOME agency and bc he wasn’t completely flat#even tho i hate the retconning of robin jason being angry and moody and so on#part of the problem is we don’t see him too too often for more than semi brief appearances so im so happy to see him i’ll just accept it#love the idea of a nightwing & red hood team up comic. hate that tom taylor a) wrote it and b) gave jason that stupid ass line abt justice#u think this man trusts cops ????? or the legal system !????????? BITCH.#get jason todd into like a sociology / gender and intersectionality / feminist studies class NOWWWWW#ok im done im sleepy and going to watch nimona. thx for reading to anyone who did#PLS anyone who reads this let me know what u think im frothing at the mouth rn#wes.txt#mine
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some guy winked at me during one of my classes yesterday and now i'm studying him like a scientist studies cells under a microscope
#romance mention#full story in the tags btw#i'm honored and confused at the same time because i was zoned out and wearing a mask and made eye contact with this dude for a few seconds#and then he smiles and winks???? i do find him aesthetically good looking so that caught me off guard and i had to take a break#to process what just happened to me#i kinda wanna ask him was his intentions were with that because i'm curious#but meanwhile i'm just kind of keeping an eye on him aka 'studying' him just to see what happens#ALSO let me clarify that we're not strangers. we're mutuals on instagram and share a few friends and classes#aggie posts
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I’ve had this blog for almost ten years now and let me tell you I have NO CLUE what’s going on. I’m 90% sure most of my followers are porn blogs, I don’t know who my mutuals are (if I have any), half the people I follow haven’t posted in years and out of the ones still posting, a quarter are posting for fandoms I’ve never interacted with before
#and no#I have no motivation to change anything#I’ll keep doing my thing#if you wanna be mutuals just let me know#piml#booklr#reading#books#blogs
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"friends of lava" new lgbtq+ euphemism
#not art#fhjy spoilers#half the battle thru I am Enamored with how much porter's people do Not have Any affection for each others#in a sense that so couldve been what the bad kids wouldve ended up as! they did not set out to be friends#people forced together by circumstances. but they were like no lets develop some mutual fondness about this#also learning that kipperlilly willingly did the ritual..... oh the stonecold killer!! the girlbossitude!!!#none of them were ever her friends... her one friend did not return. its delicious!!#very specifically mirroring riz loving this game so much. loving to be in this world with his friends so much that he'd take on#any amount of burden just to keep this. kipperlilly wants to win the game without playing. she doesnt like playing the game!!#she doesn't want to go Into the game with her friend. she wants her friend to pull away from the game with her#and like I dont love the idea of hardship as a measurement of ur commitment to the game (see: previous posts)#but wanting to be good at the game without playing the game.... youve chosen a lonely margin to put urself in babygirl#youre no friend of lava thats for sure!
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I think a lot about how V remembers so much more than N. And Cyn said she wanted them to "retain their original personalities" which means V was intended to be the same... Which means something changed her... And she had to see N and J stay the same. Stay unaware completely.
#tzu rambles#she knows too much#its not good for ehr dude shes so miserable to me#she wanted to keep him safe#and unaware#but he kept pushing and pushing and she just. cant bring herself to hurt him#idk. it hurts me.#also her forgetting his name was 100% intentional lets be real#sorry platonic nv makes me sad dude#it makes me sick#the progression of their relationship...#when she was kind and loved him and they had mutual feelings (in my head at least idk if thats canon)#but her love died when everything went to shit#and his love died slowly#but theyr still love each other#just not the same#murder drones
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Some people need to go touch fucking grass.
#sam rants#like if you don’t like my content or you don’t like that I’m expanding to other fandoms the unfollow button is right there bookie#keep it up I’ll switch up my kinktober Masterlist so fast#I’m sorry I usually try and keep my blog a really positive space#but sometimes it just gets to me you know?#I’m typically not the type to let the hate anons get to me but idk I’m only a person#and the amount of hate anons running around between myself and what I’m hearing from my mutuals is crazy#this content is free mind you if you don’t like it please the unfollow and block buttons are just as free#just go away pls thanks#givin me agita hiragi hook ya girl up with some pepto#shaking my damn head
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Guess who has a new inconsistent style? :)
#korranok art#now seriously#Ihave not been active for personal reasons#and let´s say I REALLY messed up#so I lost all my drawings that I didn´t post here#And well I had to get a quick substitute for my old drawing tablet#so I am getting used to this new method an it will take me time to adjust#so of course the comic is going to be paused until I can draw decent art again haha#that's why the line art such as the color is too weird here#just posting this to know I still care about you guys and hope ya all are doing fine#some mutuals deactivated recently and well...#someone has to keep the problematics ships floating right?#and it seems we gotta keep up with the task!#hope to adapt to this soon
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I'm sure they'll understand if Kuukou and Ichiro get busy 😌
they are literally this meme btw like just put them out of their misery and tension and leT THEM GET BU—
#vee got an ask#sometimes it’s the other way around lol ichiro’s also objectified kuukou ITS MUTUAL ATTRACTION THEY WANT EACH OTHER#THEY KEEP DANCING AROUND EACH OTHER SO IF YOURE TIRED OF IT THEN JUST LET THEM HAVE IT LMAO#i didn’t have the actual meme on hand so i made my own lmao
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dw i'm writing, but promise me you won't let me get back into h.aik.yuu!! i'll go truly insane if i collect any more silly lil boys to write or start contemplating old oc's again. i don't wanna do it
#lies!! i wanna do it!!#though it feels bittersweet bc back then i was writing makiko and i loved her so so much she went through such beautiful development#some of my favorite character development i've ever gotten to write tbh#and writing makiko and getting back into rp led me to writing chiyo again#but i also didn't have the confidence i have now? so aside from a few mutuals who followed me from blog to blog#i don't know if anyone i knew back then still writes bc i didn't keep in contact#and let's be real i'm bad at messages now too but at least i try to be active on the dash when i can be#i dunno i just regret not being better back then#so i hope i can continue to improve and be a good friend and writing partner to everyone here#anywayyyyy ignore me i'm feeling nostalgic!! but back to drafts!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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I think this summer, in addition to building a new catio, I’m gonna try to get the cats out hiking more. This is just a big vent/ramble under the cut.
The last couple years we haven’t been out as much. A part of it is just mental health making it hard to Do Stuff, but also I’m apprehensive about going hiking on my own with the cats. I’m not really concerned about coyotes or bears or elk, but the prevalence of off leash dogs on trails still makes me afraid for my and the cats’ safety. I can do everything right and responsible with my cats and still have someone’s dog chase or attack us— both have happened before and will again if we go out. It’s just frustrating that other people’s irresponsibility and selfishness keeps me from enjoying time outside with my pet. I can only control myself- I can’t control someone’s “””friendly””” dog that is “good” off leash and *only* chases people for 15ft before going back to its owner. It’s not barking and chasing for 50 ft, so it’s fine right?
All that being said, I think I might try to do what I can to better prepare myself and my cats for encounters like that and actually get out again. I can tell Dave misses hiking and being outside, and my mental health has gotten worse staying indoors all the time.
Cat wise I’m gonna try to train the cats’ recall better this spring, and maybe invest in some shorter leashes to keep them closer by on walks. I was also considering getting a hard-shelled cat backpack and seeing if they’d like cycling. Dogs can’t kill them if we’re on a bike…
#this post is brought to you by: depression and the Instagram post I saw today where someone’s cat got mauled#ughhh this is all so frustrating#I USED to like dogs#I WANT to like dogs!#I like the idea of dogs#I like dog photos#I like my like 3 dogblr mutuals who are actually decent dog owners!#however I am now afraid of dogs#bc SOME people think it’s more important to let their dog run around off leash#than to keep other hikers safe and comfortable#I go to leash only trails. I go to no dog trails. I tell people I’m afraid of dogs when they pass by#what more do they want from me 😭😭#all I want is for your dog to be walking nicely on a leash when it’s in eyesight#is that really too much to ask#i’ll probably delete this later#I’m just having Big Emotions#aughhh
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