#just let's keep the mutual
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It seems my love language turned into sending random memes through my mutuals' ask as I don't know how to keep a long conversation šš¤²
#I'm so sorry to bother you all#I hope you understand my lack of communication#but I love you#i don't mind if you bother me back#just let's keep the mutual#pls don't hate me
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i canāt show it to him bc itās basically my personal diary he went āoh so I canāt see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??ā he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#Itās just so different#even though itās public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head Iām also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts Iād feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. Iām not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile Iāll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. Iām already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. itās so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& Iāve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc Iām surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least itās hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and Iām part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#itās nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and itās low stress and people get me#I donāt have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. itās just nice to have this#so idk thatās why I think Iāll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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new fucking video just dropped babesĀ
#thanks to my mutual keira for posting about this and letting me know oh my god. it just keeps getting worse.#hbomberguy#james somerton#todd in the shadows
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2023 year in review with hyunjin [itās a wrap] š
#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#*with hyune#they are not positioned as they came. i wanted to match him with the hyunpics š„¹#this is not nearly half of the shit they did this year#but a girl can only add so many pics.#2023 marking the year i could actually see u live too.. is crazy itās so sosososo crazy and it still brings tears to my eyes#waited for it so much and for so long and it blew my expectations away š£#i keep being so hooked on u year after year and it hasnāt changed at all this year too..#ig im just in this hyunjin shaped ride for life#iluā¦ i wish i could thank you personally for saving me every year šš« #also happy new year to mutuals and all the other followers š i love u and i appreciate u all and i hope#all the good an lovely things come#to your way in 2024 š letās all assemble in europe when skz comes here heh#<- this is me manifesting.
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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblrā¦at least now I know Iām able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! Iāve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle Iāve dug myself into. Think Iām getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isnāt really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I donāt want to disappoint my professors. Weāll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye
#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe itās just overstimulation stuff#hoping itāll die down because I canāt keep enjoying myself when Iām like this#seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things#like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork#but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating#my brain kept saying āno I donāt want to I canāt do thatā even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts#like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#Iām a mess. Iām such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular#maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well#I canāt tell you why Iām like this I just am š#anyways thinking Iāll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now#I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others#anyways whatās something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I donāt seem patheticā¦.#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period#one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me āis that Mr. Puzzles?ā#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK#Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal āWAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???ā while trying to suppress grinning or going āteeheeā#anyways now itās my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS IāM LOSING IT#proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didnāt think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu šš#itās a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college wonāt be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy#PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD#all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shitālike imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! IāD STILL BE LONELY AS HELL#okay sorry Iāll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ānormallyā :3#doodles#sketches#hplonesome art#not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa donāt look at me
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Love how carla went from 'hmm idk idkk I like her but this is so new haha uncharted waters I mean like' to 'DONT. GET. DRESSED' in a matter of minutes
#she's crazy shes insane for this one#okay but the way they both look at eachother to confirm that this is indeed what they both want#the absolute feral lust taking over#they way they both so desperately want this need this even#but deep down carla knows It'll be temporary#one small thing and the distance between them grows once more#when she hears the call from betsy she just knows its going to end#because lisa is so good at running away#and carla knows this. carla even spits it in her face she tells it like it is#and she just wants lisa to see that her words are truth and she can be happy and she wants to be happy and carla wants it to be with her#she cant keep running away she cant keep letting betsy dictate what she thinks is right for her#she needs to stop being a coward and just listen#carla knows it was over before it even started#but neither can actually keep away for long#their relationship has become too mutually dependent#and even through gritted teeth even while spitting vitriol carla will always always defend lisa#because its truly all she wants. for lisa to be happy and for betsy to step down from her red haze#just owch#coronation street#swarla#carla x lisa#carla connor#lisa swain#i love and hate these women and they will be the death of me
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as yr favorite local jason todd fan sometimes i get so fed up with the apparent inability of most dc comic writers to write a class conscious narrative about him.
and yes, i know that comics are a very ephemeral and constantly evolving and self-conflicting medium.
and yes, i know theyāre a profit-driven art medium created in a capitalistic society, so there are very few times where comics are going to be created solely out of the desire to authentically and carefully and deliberately represent a character and take them from one emotional narrative place to another, because dc cares about profit and sometimes playing it safe is what sells.
and yes, i know comics and other forms of art reflect and recreate the society within which they were conceived as ideas, and so the dominant societal ideas about gender and race and class and so on are going to be recreated within comics (and/or will be responded to, if the writer is particularly societally conscious).
but jesus christ. you (the writer/writers) have a working class character who has been homeless, who has lost multiple parents, who has been in close proximity to someone struggling with addiction, who has had to steal to survive, who may have (depending on your reading of several different moments across different comics created by different people) been a victim of csa, who has clearly (subtextually) struggled with his mental health, who was a victim of a violent murder, and who has an entirely distinct and unique perspective on justice that has evolved based on his lived experiences.
and instead of delving into any of that, or examining the myriad of ways that classism in the writersā room and the editorsā room and the readersā heads affected jasonās character to make sure youāre writing him responsibly, or giving him a plotline where his views on what justice looks like are challenged by another working class character, or allowing him to demonstrate actual autonomy and agency in deciding what relationships he wants to have with people who he loves but sees as having failed him in different ways, or thinking carefully about what his having chosen an alias that once belonged to his murderer says about his decision-making and motivations, you keep him stuck in a loop of going by the red hood, addressing crime by occupying a position of relative power that perpetuates crime & harm rather than ever getting at the root causes, and seesawing between a) agreeing with his adoptive family entirely about fighting nonlethally in ways that are often inconsistent with his apparent motivations or b) disagreeing and experiencing unnecessarily brutal and violent reactions from his adoptive father as if that kind of violence isnāt the kind of thing he experienced as a child and something bruce himself is trying to prevent jason from perpetuating. because a comic with red hood, quips, high stakes, and familial drama sells.
it doesnāt matter if it keeps jason trapped, torn between an unanswered moral and philosophical question, a collection of identities that no longer fit him, and a family that accepts him circumstantially. it doesnāt matter if jasonās characterization is so utterly inconsistent that the only way to mesh it together is to piece different aspects of different titles and plotlines together like a jigsaw. it doesnāt matter if you do a disservice to his character, because in the end you donāt want to transform him or even understand him deeply enough to identify what makes him compelling and focus on that.
and i love jason!!!!! i love him. and i think about the stories we could have, if quality and art and doing justice to the character were prioritized as much as selling a title and having a dark and brooding batfam member besides bruce just to be the black sheep character are prioritized. and i just get a little sad.
#jason todd#jason todd meta#red hood#batfam#batman#dc comics#comic analysis#classism#tw: csa mention#maybe someday half of the most intriguing and nuanced aspects of his character will be touched upon#red hood outlaw 51-52 had some cool moments wrt jason + class + hometown friends + systems of power but. that was a two issue arc#and even then it was admittedly messy#GOD i want him to be three dimensional and well rounded and well used#even if a writer wrote a fucking. filler comic for an annual or smthn exploring what jason does outside of being red hood#keep the name if u want. have him have deliberately taken the name of his killer and twisted it until ppl from his city know rh#as a protector of kids and the poor and sex workers and so on. that WORKS. but show him connecting w his community#have him get involved in mutual aid. have him do something when heās not out as red hood at night. let us see jason & barbara interact more#or jason and steph !!!!!!!! or another positive but complicated dynamic (he has a lot of those)#i just. i think that his stagnancy makes me fucking sad. i liked some aspects of task force z. felt like it ended too soon tho#FUCK the joker lets unpack his self concept & have him be a real person outside of vigilanteism (?) and vengeance#i liked some aspects of the cheer arc in batman urban legends mostly bc he had SOME agency and bc he wasnāt completely flat#even tho i hate the retconning of robin jason being angry and moody and so on#part of the problem is we donāt see him too too often for more than semi brief appearances so im so happy to see him iāll just accept it#love the idea of a nightwing & red hood team up comic. hate that tom taylor a) wrote it and b) gave jason that stupid ass line abt justice#u think this man trusts cops ????? or the legal system !????????? BITCH.#get jason todd into like a sociology / gender and intersectionality / feminist studies class NOWWWWW#ok im done im sleepy and going to watch nimona. thx for reading to anyone who did#PLS anyone who reads this let me know what u think im frothing at the mouth rn#wes.txt#mine
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some guy winked at me during one of my classes yesterday and now i'm studying him like a scientist studies cells under a microscope
#romance mention#full story in the tags btw#i'm honored and confused at the same time because i was zoned out and wearing a mask and made eye contact with this dude for a few seconds#and then he smiles and winks???? i do find him aesthetically good looking so that caught me off guard and i had to take a break#to process what just happened to me#i kinda wanna ask him was his intentions were with that because i'm curious#but meanwhile i'm just kind of keeping an eye on him aka 'studying' him just to see what happens#ALSO let me clarify that we're not strangers. we're mutuals on instagram and share a few friends and classes#aggie posts
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I think rye thinks it's incredibly adorable of davrin to be worried about him after the accidental hallucination tea experiment. that stoic option 'you know, I lived a whole life before you' contains a world of 'davrin, I'm a mourn watcher with a severely misspent youth behind me. I've been stratospherically high on things you couldn't and probably wouldn't want to imagine, this is barely a tickle'. to me.
#also I think a 'haha oh no TOO close back off pls' moment even at that point. do not care for me like that it freaks me out!#i amn uncomfortable when we are about me actually (and you are smart and also tenacious enough that you'll realize that#and follow up on it. because you're an *asshole* who never lets me get away with *anything*. you'll just keep pestering me#until I have to throw my hands up in defeat and let someone perceive me and care about me. total horror show.#can't have this be happening to me right now I'm putting off having a personal and spiritual crisis until 5 minutes before I die)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#davrin#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#their relationship. it is everything to me. the mutual 'hey punk you ever consider that there are people who love you. asshole'#'well I GUESS that *groan* my life has been infinitely enriched by your presence in it even though you're kind of a dick. there happy now'#'yeah I love and treasure you like a brother. a very annoying brother. what of it. wait you need help??? I'm here who do we kill'#and then you add lucanis' energy in there as well and you see why this is the best beloved boys squad to ever do it#also so sweet how much it's davrin opening up and showing vulnerability and uncertainty that's helped them get there the most#rye stays almost completely sober these days b/c his late teens and early twenties were uh. they got kind of rough!#so the rare times he drinks he's cautiously very very restrained about it. we simply cannot have student days shenanigans rye back.#we cannot. he barely survived being student days shenanigans rye the first time around let's not tempt fate#but in his time I think he's sampled some of that weird bottled fog stuff emmrich implies you can get some kind of high from#and then some lol#rye '*is* it drinking alone in the depths of the necropolis if the skeletons walking by give you friendly nods tho' ingellvar
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Iāve had this blog for almost ten years now and let me tell you I have NO CLUE whatās going on. Iām 90% sure most of my followers are porn blogs, I donāt know who my mutuals are (if I have any), half the people I follow havenāt posted in years and out of the ones still posting, a quarter are posting for fandoms Iāve never interacted with before
#and no#I have no motivation to change anything#Iāll keep doing my thing#if you wanna be mutuals just let me know#piml#booklr#reading#books#blogs
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"friends of lava" new lgbtq+ euphemism
#not art#fhjy spoilers#half the battle thru I am Enamored with how much porter's people do Not have Any affection for each others#in a sense that so couldve been what the bad kids wouldve ended up as! they did not set out to be friends#people forced together by circumstances. but they were like no lets develop some mutual fondness about this#also learning that kipperlilly willingly did the ritual..... oh the stonecold killer!! the girlbossitude!!!#none of them were ever her friends... her one friend did not return. its delicious!!#very specifically mirroring riz loving this game so much. loving to be in this world with his friends so much that he'd take on#any amount of burden just to keep this. kipperlilly wants to win the game without playing. she doesnt like playing the game!!#she doesn't want to go Into the game with her friend. she wants her friend to pull away from the game with her#and like I dont love the idea of hardship as a measurement of ur commitment to the game (see: previous posts)#but wanting to be good at the game without playing the game.... youve chosen a lonely margin to put urself in babygirl#youre no friend of lava thats for sure!
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I think a lot about how V remembers so much more than N. And Cyn said she wanted them to "retain their original personalities" which means V was intended to be the same... Which means something changed her... And she had to see N and J stay the same. Stay unaware completely.
#tzu rambles#she knows too much#its not good for ehr dude shes so miserable to me#she wanted to keep him safe#and unaware#but he kept pushing and pushing and she just. cant bring herself to hurt him#idk. it hurts me.#also her forgetting his name was 100% intentional lets be real#sorry platonic nv makes me sad dude#it makes me sick#the progression of their relationship...#when she was kind and loved him and they had mutual feelings (in my head at least idk if thats canon)#but her love died when everything went to shit#and his love died slowly#but theyr still love each other#just not the same#murder drones
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Some people need to go touch fucking grass.
#sam rants#like if you donāt like my content or you donāt like that Iām expanding to other fandoms the unfollow button is right there bookie#keep it up Iāll switch up my kinktober Masterlist so fast#Iām sorry I usually try and keep my blog a really positive space#but sometimes it just gets to me you know?#Iām typically not the type to let the hate anons get to me but idk Iām only a person#and the amount of hate anons running around between myself and what Iām hearing from my mutuals is crazy#this content is free mind you if you donāt like it please the unfollow and block buttons are just as free#just go away pls thanks#givin me agita hiragi hook ya girl up with some pepto#shaking my damn head
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Guess who has a new inconsistent style? :)
#korranok art#now seriously#Ihave not been active for personal reasons#and letĀ“s say I REALLY messed up#so I lost all my drawings that I didnĀ“t post here#And well I had to get a quick substitute for my old drawing tablet#so I am getting used to this new method an it will take me time to adjust#so of course the comic is going to be paused until I can draw decent art again haha#that's why the line art such as the color is too weird here#just posting this to know I still care about you guys and hope ya all are doing fine#some mutuals deactivated recently and well...#someone has to keep the problematics ships floating right?#and it seems we gotta keep up with the task!#hope to adapt to this soon
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HEADS UP MUTUALS SINCE I KNOW MOST OF YOU ARE NOT TNMN POSTING
I'm going to be doing a lot more art for this game alongside my evil pikmin stuff, and there's a Lot of. let's justr say. Issues And Problems with the doppelganger designs !! in a horror way
I ALWAYS format it as "#cw [the thing]", if you Don't want to see blood, gore, body horror, those type things, I'd censor all those out!! so "cw blood", etc. I'll be tagging specifically with the things I listed
#jeremy lore post#JUST LETTING EVERYBODY KNOW IN ADVANCE#because for tnmn im sure people go in expecting it. but YOU my beloved mutuals i met YOU ALL through PIKMIN#which does NOT do any of that shit for the most part#so im Going to keep tagging those posts with those things regardless so you all can avoid seeing it if you want/need to#THAT'S ALL HI MUTUALS AND ALSO HI FOLLOWERS I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU. AND DIDNT WANT TO HARD PIVOT WITH NO WARNING#ALSO DON'T KNOW HOW āBADā IT'LL REALLY BE CONSIDERING MY ART STYLE BUT I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES š¦
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one daaay i will put my stb era toxic yaoi thoughts into a coherent form and by that i mean an incoherent mess of a comic but know i do genuinely think about them constantly . they were always worse .
#guy who keeps sneaking off in the middle of the night to hunt the 7'8 guy he can not fucking beat for sport#and ending up getting his ribs kicked in and his arms broken every single night .#and he keeps going back cus well sometimes the 7'8 guy is fun to talk to.#over all the rib breaking and femur shattering and broken noses and stabs.#and well i do sometimes think he sneaks away for things other than bone breakings. like sitting silently#in the same room with a strange sense of like tension and satisfaction and thrill. and i do think it drives him insane#to feel weirdly calm and safe around another human being#especially one that is constantly kicking his ribs in with his sabatons.#txt#the mutual fascination w the other in terms of āoh this guy Will Not Die" in their ways. cute. to me.#liek i feel like endwalker on is a sort of quiet acceptance of . yeah. i mean i guess you kind of are the only person who could#get it at this point . and i can not let you die. because if you die and can not prove yourself happy#it proves i can never be happy.#but stb? canis is barely a person in stb. thats just a sharp sword now bouncing dully off a sharper one.#ahh. equally made funny w the fact zenos giving canis his lip scar was always the plan.#even uh. 3 years ago when i didnt gaf about that guy and thought he was boring. LOL#anyways all this to say i think the mental image of any scion seeing canis like. calm. around anyone.#especailly zenos of all people.#is really fucking funny. like what do you mean you fell asleep in front of another human. and it was that guy.#he tried to kill you.#and canis is like yeah he still tries that.#tldr: yeah ican jack you off the blood on my hands cant stain you any further.
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