#just let me scream into the void for a min
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francisofthespook · 4 days ago
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Yesterday when I went to the gas station they gave me THREE percent juul pods instead of 5 and because I am nervous I let it go
Then today I bought myself two nail polishes and when I got home only ONE was in the bag and because I am nervous I let it go
FFF and then I saw today on ig my friend group went on a trip without me and it hurt but because I am nervous I let it go
And a few other things but like whatever it’s all the little things that add up yk
And now I’m sad and frustrated and need to vent ugh I’m sorry idk just needed to say that ‘out loud’ to feel better although I don’t feel much better and I just miss my friend in my hometown and I wanna go home and I was supposed to go this weekend but with all the weird plane stuff going on I canceled my ticket and I wish I had gone 😭😭
If I wake up tomorrow and still feel like crap except a DEVASTATINGLY sad one shot sorry not sorry it helps me cope 🙂
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midnightmasterpiece · 9 months ago
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Is she ignoring me or does she just live in a different time zone?
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dollerines · 1 year ago
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How I entered the void so easily after 1 year of trying
So after 1 year and half of trying to enter I finally did it and I am so mad because it REALLY IS SOOOOO EASY and tbh if in this post you are looking for any sort of validation or info you smart ass already know then please REMEMBER THIS : entering the void is extremely easy. You just have to do it in a way that resonates with you.
Personally for me since I had adhd I couldn’t just stay still and affirm for 1 or even a few for 10 mins. Not just because I was lazy but because just repeating “I am in the void” for so long gets me tired and makes me think of the void more and you actually don’t want to think too deeep about it. I couldn’t wake 3 hours prior and then affirm or even have the patience to do the psych k, yes I was extremely lazy back then and unpresistent but one thing that helped me even backed then was THE ALPHA STATE MEDITATION !
You just have to find what works for you, find a method technique whatever you want to do that doesn’t seem like a chore. So In a post back then I found on @gorgeouslypink acc talking about doing the alpha sate meditation and I tried it back then and I felt really relaxed and it was a good feeling but like I said back then I was realllly lazy so after a few mins I stopped. Then many months later passed and I was still looking for anything and everything on the void. Then just like two days ago I came across another post which was pretty simple and the technique I used was called the DISTRACTED TECHNIQUE.
All there was to do was the usual you get into a comfortable position and then she said to use the alpha state meditation and used the one gorgeouslypink recommended. So I used it and then what she tell you to do is to just think of anything else just get distracted basically and this WAS SO GOOD 4 ME because back then I had adhd so it made it harder to concentrate on just affirming and so yeah I just thought of random things and then at some point where I was completely distracted I felt my body like lift up 😭 if that makes sense I just can’t clearly describe it. It felt really like a shift and I was like ‘panicking’ in a way but I wasn’t actually panicking I just kinda became aware what was going and then I got scared a little but I just relaxed shortly after. Also my fan that was making like a loud noises was coming in an out and then I only hear it in one ear and then I didn’t hear anything and I just stayed there wondering if I reached the void and i actually was!!! I didn’t feel my body it felt like I had no body at all and it was pitch black just like how I imagined the void to be. For a few minutes I just stayed there feeling the most surreal peace I have ever felt. I needed that peace fr 💀.
So then I affirmed for my desires all I said was “I have all my desired results from my subliminal playlist.” Then just to be extra sure I just said “I have everything I want.”
At that point I got really excited and then I wiggled my toes to get out because I was too dam happy I needed to see all my shit the moment I wake up and then I slowly started getting out and when I tell you I cried for like a good dam minute when I woke up and saw how DIFFERENT. My room looked. I literally screamed onto my pillow. I was so dam scare and yet excited to see how I looked.
WHAT I MANIFESTED :
Desired body and face
Having silky straight tailbone length hair cuz mines was originally curly
And everything in my sub playlist
My desired boyfriend and guys I made him be like Gojo Satoru ( because we are all delusional over him 🤪) and let me tell you he is so tall, handsome, sexy and a literal god. He is so silly too 🩷
Moving countries I now live in ny
Never actually meeting my ex and all the people in my old school forget me and have actually never even met me. Like if u asked them about me they have never heard or known me before
Extremely rich rich like hella bands
Got rid of my anxiety and mental health issue
Plus +++
NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
Even if the circumstances seem to be eating you alive don’t mind that too much. Even if all seems hopeless don’t give up because you already know nothing can decide or be unless you give it power to be. So stop being goofy and take responsibility and DONT STRESS!! You don’t see God stressing do you. All he has to do is blink and whatever he wants to happen, happens. Plus a lot of confidence came from non dualism that I owe a huge thanks to @trynafindbarbiee she really said it like it is !!
YOU GOT THIS ML 🩷🩷🩷🩷
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girls-and-honey · 2 years ago
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why can't hydration be passive and automatic
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shout-it-out13 · 6 months ago
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This fandom I swear
So I know I’m basically screaming into the void here but I have seen some seriously alarming tendencies of both parasocial behaviour and now downright infantalisation regarding Yoongi’s DUI incident
Now I’m a big fan of Yoongi, and I’m just as fond of the “lil meow meow” memes about him as anybody else, but it just doesn’t apply in this case.
Let me spell out the obvious (because then takes I’m seeing is downright worrying):
1. Min Yoongi is a 31 year old man. Not a baby or a teen, a whole ass adult, in his 30s. Thus him being of legal age, makes him as fully subject to the law, as any other legal adult of legal age (or even those of minor age, persecution of underage people is very much a thing, and even if he wasn’t an adult, he would still have received criminal punishment).
(Edit: It has been brought to my attention that I had misunderstood the situation and I must admit that I based this post when I wrote it on what I had seen on Tumblr of the situation (no, I didn’t fact-check online and I won’t now either, this post was made out of an emotional response to the overall fandom situation)(I get if people thinks that’s messed up and ignorant of me (which you’re entitled to totally) but personally I have never been personally invested much in BTS beyond their music and I don’t see that changing). I just wanted to vent and say my piece, I apologise for any misinformation I may have caused. Again, I do not condone the media backlash that has gone beyond the reasonable amount (holding him accountable is different from going on a outright witch-hunt).
-I know this post is months old, and I see now I have had people in my inbox since I first posted it, and I only have seen them now (I ignore that I even have mutuale, inbox and dms on here because that’s just not what I’m here for). I must admit that I did delete your messages and could have actually researched the situation, but to be honest I can’t be bothered (again, I’m not Wikipedia, the facts are there online, this post was made and now edited out of my emotional frustration over the situation), but felt I should at least say something so here it is, lazily edited and smacked in the middle.
2. A DUI (which you can get while operation any form of vehicle or mode of transportation, be it cars, scooters, boats, bikes etc) is a serious offense, no matter what the outcome is. It’s fortunate that this situation was so mild, nobody got hurt nor no personal damages, it still is a serious offense and should have be treated as such. Yes, we shouldn’t be treating this situation as if he hit and killed somebody, but he still could have, and this needs to be taken seriously.
Min Yoongi, a man in his 30s (a grown ass man of legal age, whom I’m seeing getting his criminal offense downplayed like nothing happened by those both of legal age and those not), committed a crime, as mild as the situation was, is a serious situation and for that break of the law, he deserves to be punished for it. And the fact that there are people treating like he did nothing wrong is just idiotic.
The amount of parasocial behaviour (friendly reminder, you will never truly know any idol, youtuber, celebrity, actor etc if you don’t personally know them (no meeting them multiple times and borderline stalking them and learning evrry single detail you can about them online doesn’t count) and infantilisation in this fandom is insane.
Stop putting people you look up to on such a high pedestal until the point where you think they can do nothing wrong (like some armys are doing right now, with a man in his 30s)
I love Yoongi, I still look up to him even after this, I’m glad that he wasn’t hurt and that this doesn’t hurt his military service. I hope he learns from this, faces whatever legal punishment they give him, and hope that he can regain his license again in the future.
I hope he, the company and most importantly the fandom, recognises how serious this situation is and stops going “poor little meow meow” or “I’m in love with a criminal” (no you don’t, nobody in the fandom knows who and how BTS are in their private lives (private lives whom they are fully entitled to keep hidden from overobsessive fangirls who thinks stalking people counts as knowing them. They’re people, not objects nor saints, please treat them as such) over a man who commuted a criminal offense, aka broke the law and now needs to face said punishment.
I know I have been repeating myself over and over, but with the amount of braindead takes seen in this fandom regarding theses legal grown men, is just painful.
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jukti-torko-golpo · 7 months ago
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I have been in a terrible slump lately. I had been considering not writing on tumblr about this. But I realize that I need to scream into my beloved void to get something off my chest. It is a part of my coping mechanism now.
So I know that going to a different place for job/studies is something many people do and for a lot of people it is indeed very difficult. But I will talk about my feelings here. I was recently given a different city as my base location for work. And I feel shattered. I feel like a chunk of my soul is being yanked away from me.
I am completely open to the idea of going to a different place for any project. But the base location being changed is just shattering. More so because as far as my communications with them was going it seemed like I would get Kolkata. But suddenly it all just fell apart.
I am really close to my family. I have my two sets of grandparents who I love. And both live within 5 mins walking distance from me. And I visit them very frequently. The thought of not being able to do that is TERRIFYING. Secondly my parents need help with managing the household and my grandparents. They would never say that out loud and support me in whatever is best for me but I know that they do and it is exhausting. I want to be actively present. My partner is also in Kolkata and the thought of being away from him sucks. I know long distance relationship is a thing. But I do not desire it if it can be avoided.
Secondly I had a plan about what I want to do with life. I had plans for saving for things. My financial plan would crash if I have to move to the new place. I will barely be able to save anything. All my plans would be completely snuffed out.
Secondly my city....I love my city so freaking much. It is a part of me. I do not want to leave her behind. This is home.
I am trying my level best to change my location to Kolkata. And I am hoping and praying so hard. I have a habit of writing my prayers on tumblr. And this is my prayer. Please let me not be taken away from home. Please. Just PLEASE. I feel desperate. And I have not been able to function. I can barely function. I am so scared all the time. I had so many plans on how to spend my post college times. But I just cannot. Waking up is so difficult. My room has not been cleaned for weeks. And I just cannot bring myself to do it. Everything feels so dusty. I cannot draw. I cannot write. I cannot take pictures. I cannot feel things. I am tired and sad and shattered. Please just let me not be yanked out of home.
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toastandjamie · 1 year ago
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You know how in a previous post I talked briefly about how Mat is subversion of masculinity? Yeah that but now I’m also going to talk about how all of that and the contradicting nature of his character can all be traced back to him being Odin. Bare with me lmao.
So let’s start with the fact that Odin as a god covers a LOT of domains, and a lot of them contradict eachother. He’s a god of war and death but he’s also a god of healing and poetry. He’s a god of wisdom and knowledge but also frenzy and bloodlust. A god of royalty favored by princes and also a good of thieves and tricksters. The Allfather indeed! Odin is a god but very importantly he’s Mortal, he’s a god of wisdom because he seeks it out, he is a surprising Human god, with complex and often selfish motivations. Which is very perfect for a character like Mat. But this post isn’t just going to be me pointing out every single thing about Odin that parallels Mat because we’d be here all day and even though I can because everytime a mythological reference appears in those books and twirl my hair and kick my feet I will refrain lol
The main focus of this post is talk about one really interesting facet of Odin’s domains and myths. And that is his connection to magic, specifically the distinctly feminine magic tradition of Seihdr(and that in of itself is a whole thing that’s makes me scream and blather in reference to wheel of time). Odin stands out as a male practitioner of Seihdr, which is traditionally considered a ‘feminine’ craft. Seidhr is a type of magic related to telling and shaping the future(so no shock Odin as the ever curious god of knowledge practiced it) but according to Snorri in the Ynglinga saga the practice of Seidhr leaves the practitioner weak and helpless thus male practitioners were considered ‘ergi’ a designation for men in Norse society who were unmanly and feminine. Odin was no exception being called ‘ergi’ by Loki in Lokasenna.
This is really interesting when we view Mat’s characterization through this lens. Specifically he’s described in relation to other more traditionally masculine characters and his relationship to the one power specifically Saidar. Long before I did any research involving Seidhr and Odin I had noted to myself that Mat would’ve had an easier time channeling Saidar vs Saidine. I’ve always felt that Mat was better at embracing and submitting to power and change than he ever was at forcing it, which of course is mostly because of his adaptability and flexibility which make him such a great general in the first place. There’s a reason Mat never got a handle of the flame and the void despite both Rand and Lan trying to teach him in books 1 and 2. Mat also acts the most like the women in the series in comparison to say Rand or Perrin. jokingly I’ve mentioned how in Shadow Rising a big plot point in Rand and Elayne’s relationship is a miscommunication because Elayne was upset Rand didn’t ask her to stay when she left for Tanchico, and Mat practically has the same exact fight with Rand over Rand not asking HIM to stay when he said he was going to leave before the battle at Cairihan. I also want to point out that in the Wheel of Time, daggers and throwing knives are mainly used by women(see, Min, Faile, Berelain, Tuon) with Mat and Thom being the only men we see using throwing knives(something something the idea that subterfuge and caution are feminine traits) while swords and axes are mainly used by men or women specifically breaking gender convention such as Cha Faile and Elayne’s Queen’s Guard. interestingly spears(Mat’s other weapon of choice) is an androgynous weapon used by both men and women(this is solely because the entire Aiel culture uses spears and will fight with them), bows are also a relatively androgynous weapon in the context of WoT used pretty universally. There’s also something to be said about how the entire subplot with Tylin puts Mat in the role of the ‘pursued’ or as Mat himself puts it ‘the woman’ where Tylin takes the commanding and dominant role in their dynamic. There’s a whole different essay to be written about Mat’s romantic relationships and the vast power dynamic disparity in them and how the relationships with Tylin and Melindra primed him for the way his dynamic with Tuon works but once again that’s a different essay.
Mat’s relationship with the one power is also really interesting, because for a non-channeler he’s pretty heavily linked with magic. He’s effected by the magic inherent in the world despite for all intensive purposes being perfectly normal to start with. The Aelfinn and the Eelfin, the fact that he’s hunted by the Gholam who was created solely to assassinate channelers. Both of his sisters being born with the spark and him marrying a woman who was trained as a sul’dam(and in a prophetic vision said woman literally collaring him after we had just been introduced to the concept of a’dams). His medallion that negates channeling, the cursed dagger and him getting the first powerwrought weapon of the series in his Ashandarei. Mat’s practically rolling in magic nonsense despite wanting nothing to do with it. Not all of this was created by the one power, but he’s still very associated with it whether he wants to be or not. It’s also probably safe to say that between his sisters and being Ta’veren it’s likely he could probably learn to channel if he wanted to, of course he never would want to learn and as I established earlier I think he’d have a hard time channeling Saidine in the first place. Trying to wrestle a force of nature using brute force isn’t exactly his forte.
There’s also another essay about Mat and Elayne’s dynamic and how I think Elayne is a Freya parallel, and how that relates to Odin and Freya being the two patron gods of Seidhr- but I digress.
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whentherewerebicycles · 6 months ago
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today was hard! I am really grateful he is napping now as I was kinda hitting my limit and needed a little bit of a reset. also he looks so sweet when he sleeps so I can remind myself that he is actually my darling little boy and not just a bottomless void of furious discontent. I am going to let him nap till 6:30 and then I’ll wake him up so he has a decent wake window before bedtime. this will trigger an EPIC meltdown but we’ll go out and look at the trees which usually helps. I might also just put in headphones and listen to music while he shrieks! I can soothe him just as well without having to actually listen to this poor kid scream his head off about how hard it is to be a baby who is growing like crazy and forging a million gazillion new neural connections every day.
mm okay. I am very tempted to just scavenge for dinner again because I’m so tired but I think it would be better for me on many levels to actually make some food. I think I will compromise with a very easy meal that involves a vegetable (frozen ravioli + pesto and a side of roasted asparagus). I also really want to spend at least 20 min working on this story idea after he goes down for the night because I think I need to do something today that makes me feel more like myself. I have decided we are going to forge ahead with no swaddle tonight even though I’m scared of not being able to sleep. if he wakes up I’m going to let him fuss for 15-20 min before I go in and soothe him. I know he can learn this! it’s just going to take us both some time to adjust.
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barn-dawg · 2 months ago
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okie I made a post re: making a list of music I enjoyed this year so here it is because @rotmaxx and @m1stth3c4t were nice enough to say yes to that so the rest of you have to suffer
going to limit it to music released in 2024, everything is under readmore bc it's going to be link and word salad hell - this is in no particular order
got into screamo this year thanks to a brooklynvegan article covering their favourite screamo albums that had come out in 2024 at the time of the article's writing - I listened to everything At Least Once but two albums were on repeat for me
One of those was Frail Body's Artificial Boquet which is blistering front to back, starting with the blistering Scaffolding and never relenting in its 40 min runtime. It does have some more quiet moments (though they are still pretty crushing), which are an appreciated break from some of the tightest playing I've ever heard since Deafheaven's Sunbather.
The next was Respire's Hiraeth, a slower but more complex album with orchestal sections and quite a few medleys. They're self-described as "post-everything" on their spotify, which I can see since they remind me a lot of Godspeed! You Black Emperor. I appreciate that Respire isn't afraid to slow things down and just let you breathe for a minute - a lot more so than the Frail Body album. My favourite off the album has to be Home of Ash.
Another screamo album I was anticipating was Touché Amoré's Spiral In A Straight Line, an excellent addition to the screamo/post-hardocre band's discography filled almost front to back with bangers (save for Force of Habit, which is a dud imo), the opening track, Nobody's, feels like a song tailor-made to be screamed back to Jeremy Bolm at the beginning of every show the band will do for the rest of their career - I highly recommend this album if you want to get into the band.
In a similar vein, Agriculture released an EP this year called Living Is Easy. They're a breath of fresh air in the black metal scene, their music being far more hopeful and optimistic than their contemporaries. Agriculture is screaming in defiance of the void rather than embracing it, I think the title track shows that off really well.
There was also Bongripper's Empty. Extremely heavy stoner metal following in the footsteps of Sleep's Dopesmoker, a great instrumental album that would probably scare me a little bit if I got high to it.
For something even more oppressive, check out Civerous' Maze Envy if you want to be crushed to death by audio It speaks for itself really.
There was also Chat Pile's Cool World, imo it's a far groover, less uncomfortable experience compared to their previous album God's Country though arguably equally as crushing. My favourite off this album has to be Masc, an uncomfortable look into how toxic masculinity affects the relationship between a man and his partner and how the simple fact that he has needs as a human negatively impacts his self perception.
Taking a sudden left turn into hip-hop because a lot of good fucking rap albums came out this year!
Starting off strong with Doechii's mixtape Alligator Bites Never Heal, easily the most varied piece to release this year, Doechii flexes her muscles by hopping from sub-genre to sub-genre and does it really fucking well from back to front, and keeps doing it with jazz renditions of songs off that album - Doechii is definitely one to watch, I'm really excited to see what else she comes out with. My personal favourite off her mixtape is NISSAN ULTIMA.
Doechii also featured on a song on Tyler The Creator's new album, Chromakopia, which was announced without warning around the 21st of October before releasing a week later. Tyler has had an amazing run since Flower Boy and shows no signs of stopping. This album, to me, feels like a mix of Igor and Call Me If You Get Lost in terms of aesthetics and sound. Chromakopia has an explosive opening in St. Chroma, and goes on to explore Tyler's thoughts on aging and different aspects of sexual and romantic relationships, includin polyamory and a pregancy scare, it's an easy recommend from me.
Speaking of surprise releases, Kendrick Lamar silently released GNX on the 22nd of November. It's very different from his prior releases, not having an overarching story or idea, though that doesn't mean it's any less deserving of appreciation as a piece of art. GNX is a love letter to west-coast rap and RnB. The opening Wacced Out Murals, to me, feels like a manifesto for Kendrick's jaded view of the rap game and its current state - it managed to get responses from both Lil Wayne and Nas (who had opposite reactions). I think, overall, GNX is Kendrick is showing that he's capable of stooping down to the level of his peers and outdoing all of them (as if this year's beef didn't show that already).
Changing gears, we also have The Thief Next to Jesus by Ka - the final album released before his passing earlier this year. A lo-fi rap album with a heavy emphasis on religion.
There was also Memoirs In Armour by Navy Blue, a very mood rap album with an amazing mix on the piano seen in the opening of Take Heed.
VEENA by Heems was another album to release album, instrumetally I thought it was fantastic though it can be spiritual lyrical individual bar-wise, however I think it's well worth checking out. The album art is also very nice.
Another album with fantastic instrumentals to release this year was I Lay Down My Life For You by JPEGMAFIA, definitely the most unique release of this year. Peggy shows it's entirely possible to do a rap-rock fusion and do it very very good. It's intense from beginning to end and I really hope JPEGMAFIA continues making music in this style. Just linking the whole thing because asking me what my favourite song isoff of this album is like asking me what my favourite oxygen molecule I've breathed in recently is.
Capping things off, we also had Killer Mike release Michael & The Mighty Midnight Revival, Songs For Sinners And Saints . This is a direct follow up to last year's MICHAEL, bringing back the gospel choir that did a lot to elevate that album. KM&TMMR is, to me, an elaboration and build-up of the musical ideas presented on MICHAEL, I'm pretty confused by SLUMMER 4 JUNKIES because a huge portion of that track is just SLUMMER from MICHAEL which I just don't understand personally.
Kneecap has a pretty intense year, releasing both a movie and an album, Fine Art, which lives up to its name. Fine Art is almost a concept album, covering the West Blefast trio's night out in the pub, doing drugs and avoidng the dealers they owe money to, and going to raves. The album has beats making use of traditional irish folk music, the gaeilge language, with adoration of club bangers that shine on songs like I'm Flush. They also hate british colonialism, and as a Fenian cunt I respect that to put it mildly.
The hatred of The UK contiunes because Bob Vylan, a grime/punk duo released Humble As The Sun which comes out swinging on the title track, advocating for a united Ireland and railing against the exploitation of black men for white profit within the music industry. Humble As The Sun is a staunch refusal to be submissive in the face of british systemic racism and austerity while celebrating black art.
While I've enjoyed rap for years, this year in particular I really branched out and found new artists to keep an eye on. My usual wheelhouse is punk, which also had a pretty profilic year for releases.
This is especially true for Fucked Up, who released three seperate albums within a pretty short time of each other - all of which had been written and recorded within 24 hours (one of them livestreamed too), those albums are Another Day, Who's The Time & A Half, and Someday. Who's Got The Time was only available for 24 hours on bandcamp, so I won't cover that one.
Another Day is Fucked Up's shortest album to date, clocking in at 37 minutes, and is the sequel album to 2023's One Day and it's definitely audible. It very much sounds like they immediately stopped recording One day and immedately went into Another Day. It's not as synth-forward as One day is, the synths take a backseat - however they still make songs like Stimming.
Someday, in constrast, is the most unique of the trilogy, most of the songs make use of aso many features that Damian Abraham's signature bark is a rarity on the record and none of the songs are what you would expect from a punk album, songs such as I Took My Mom To Sleep straying pretty far from the genre. The album mainly focuses on the hostility of Canada towards migrants and is incredibly blunt with its messaging, something I always appreciate from hardcore bands. Off of Somneday, Feed Me Your Feathers has been on repeat for me with its infectous melody.
Drug Chruch also released PRUDE, I don't have tons to say about it - for me, it's a continuation of their ideas from 2022's Hygiene which I enjoyed quite a bit.
Kill Lincoln released their No Normal, a ska-punk rager and follow up to 2020's Can't Complain. It's tighter, higher energy, everyone brings their A-game, it's fun - No Normal is everything ska-punk should be. The opener I'm Fine (I Lied) being a great example of this - if they ever put out a modern Tony Hawk's Pro Skater I expect Kill Lincoln on that soundtrack.
This last section is for albums I listened to that are in their own genre.
Starting with the metalcore heavy-hitter for this year, Knocked Loose's You Won't Go Before You're Supposed To, an album that feels like being punched in the face for 27 minutes straight. This album is unrelenting, vocally and instrumentally punishing from beginning to end - it's pissed at you for deciding to listen to it and you're going to feel that the entire time. My personal favourite track is Suffocate, which has a feature from Poppy on it.
In a completely opposite vein (mostly) is Mount Eerie's Night Palace! A lo-fi indie album, entirely recorded on analog equiment (just like Phil Elverum's magnum opus, The Glow Pt. 2), the album skips from fuzzier cuts like the title track to groovier cuts like the follow-up Huge Fire, alongside references to the prevoisly mentioned The Glow Pt. 2 and Mount Eerie's devastating A Crow Looked At Me. It's an album about colonisation and our society's deteriorating relationship with nature, Phil Elverum's muse, first and foremost though imo.
After the band went on hiatus, Black Midi's Geordie Greep released The New Sound, an album that pulls from many many different genres, from prog to jazz to latin to rock. It's an excellent display of technique and whatever pervert Greep was embodying in the lyrics.
Foxing released their self titled too, a vast depature from their prvious material that I was familiar with. I'm not even sure what to label it genre-wise, is it screamo? At some points, sure. Industrial? potentially! Regardless, it is easily their best worth without a doubt with Secret History and Greyhound being my personal favourites off the album. I'm not sure how you scream like that without fucking up your voice permenantly.
Vampire Weekend also released a new album, Only God Was Above Us, their first since 2019's Father of the Bride, and what an album it is from front to back, this is some of the most unique music I've heard ever, not just from this year. Connect has to be my personal favourite, the piano on this song is just beautiful.
There was also a personal favourite of mine, Trauma Ray's Chameleon. This album is a crushing wall of sound with dreamy vocals, excellent shoegaze that almost feels like that state you're on the cusp of falling into a really deep sleep - it's a suffocating embrace of an album from beingging to end, my personal favourites are Ember and the title track.
There's also Hiatus Kaiyote's Love Heart Cheat Code, an album that's hard to pin down with it bouncing between soul, funk, and psychedelic, it's definitely worth your time with it being beautiful from beginning to end.
A highly anticipated release this year for me was Godspeed! You, Black Emperor's "NO TITLE AS OF 13 FEBURARY 2024, 28,340 DEAD" a direct reference to the death toll of the Gazan genocide, which most likely has doubled since the date mentioned in the title, though we don't know for sure.
This is an instumental album mainly, the only break being the reading of a poem by Michele Fiedler Fuentes on Raindrops Cast In Lead. To me, this album contains multitudes, having moments that are extremely bleak only to be contrasted later by moments of hope. There are highs and lows that alternate, there are green shoots sprouting from grey rubble. There's a lot to be said about this album and what it envokes, but all that there is really worth saying is
NO TITLE AS OF 25 DECEMBER 2024, 45,400 DEAD
NO TITLE AS OF 25 DECEMBER 2024, 45,400 DEAD
NO TITLE AS OF 25 DECEMBER 2024, 45,400 DEAD
NO TITLE AS OF 25 DECEMBER 2024, 45,400 DEAD
NO TITLE AS OF 25 DECEMBER 2024, 45,400 DEAD
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kats-kradle · 10 months ago
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rant
losing my mind. it’s the last week of my classes and im so close to the end but on Saturday ive got a concert. not really a concert it’s like band/concert my violin teacher teaches a TON of instruments and every six months all the students perform songs together its a blast. im so stressed its unreal because the week before the last one my violin hairs just like BROKE and i had to scramble to last minute get it fixed. so im super paranoid that it’s gonna happen again like i think it’s just my imagination but I can feel the hairs going again. its also almost the recital at the dance studio I work at. i heard through the grapevine that some of the other teachers don’t think I’m strict enough with my kids but like. the kids in question are 5. they gotta be a lil squirmy and crazy if you want them to listen. so stressed that they’re gonna be absolutely bonkers and make the other teachers think i can’t control them. my mom is frustrated with her weight and she keeps yelling at me because of it. i love her but i don’t like being the target of her anger for no reason. she’ll just start yelling at me about nothing with no warning and it really puts me on edge around her because i don’t know what she’s gonna do. also triggering because my dad was verbally abusive. my room is a mess. my adhd is bad. im still recovering from my concussion so i can’t write for more than like 20 min before i get a headache. im so bad at speaking spanish which is a problem because i got to a latino church. i worry that im an intrusion but we’ve been there a year and everyones said multiple times how much they love us. i feel the need to show them ive improved since ive joined. im so stressed about being perfect because im so used to having consequences if im not. when my parents divorced my dad tried to take homeschooling away from my mom by using my bad grade as proof in court that she shouldn’t be teaching me and my sisters. do you know what that does to a kid?? 12 years old and having to know that your inadequacy could take you and your sisters away from your mom. every time i got a bad grade i knew he was using it to hurt my mom. let me tell you that’s SO MUCH PRESSURE😭 i started cheating in high school. i stopped by my senior year and i don’t anymore but i never know if all my A’s are because im smart or because it was essentially beaten into me that people got hurt when i didn’t do well. i keep having to telling myself “no one will get hurt if you don’t do perfect” and “there’s no consequences for not being perfect.” I finished a novella a wrote by accident and i want to publish it but i don’t know where to start. my older sister told me she’s a little jealous of me because she’s always had the goal to write but she threw herself into her education first. she’s overcompensating for her jealousy by offering me advice that she doesn’t know how to give and trying to be nit picky trying to make my story “perfect.” im so so tired of people trying to make me perfect im so tired of nothing i do being enough. can’t it just BE.
anyways i need to have serious prayer time and give this to the Lord but it felt good to scream into the void.
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ayoharuko · 2 years ago
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Hello! When you get back from your Hiatus, may I request Mukuro Ikusaba comforting her S/O after a nightmare?
A/N: Also this was finished a few days ago and I did an oopsie by reading ur request wrong T-T, I accidentally read it as Mukuro being comforted by reader and not the other way around, I'm so sorry T-T I know that its not an excuse but I'm really really sorry...I hope you still like it tho.....
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Hellooo anon-chan! I'm finally back from my long hiatus~
Sorry for taking long to answer your request, I appreciate you waiting :)
I hope you enjoy and love this! Reader here is gender neutral(They/Them)
This will be a min oneshot~
REMINDER: This character does not belong to me, but belongs to Kazutaka Kodaka. This is just fictional work so please try not and take this too seriously :)
T/W: Mentions of dark thoughts and abu*se, so if your sensitive to this feel free to skip this post :)
''Just hold me and don't let go...''
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It was dark....like she was being sucked down a void.....
It was scary
She remembered her dream vividly. The screams of people from the war, her sister laughing insanely at her, and her classmates deaths.
It was all so....hauntingly scary
Mukuro felt like her throat was tightening, like someone was choking her.
She tried to scream but Mukuro felt that she couldn't move nor talk, like she was fully frozen in place, and then...a bright light came and she heard your voice...
Your oh so wonderful voice....
Your voice was light and gentle as an angel, well you were her angel. An angel protecting her from the bad nightmares and thoughts....
As soon as Mukuro opened her eyes she immediately hugged you so tight that you felt like she was almost crushing your bones.
''M-Mukuro...wait...your..c-crushing my bones...'' You manage to wheeze out.
Mukuro mumbled an apology and pulled away looking off to the side, your eyes were filled with worry. You knew that Mukuro would often have nightmares....but you hadn't expect that it'd be this bad.....
''Do....you wanna talk about it? I mean....its okay if you don't want to of course...'' You ask the dark-haired girl.
Mukuro just nodded and looked at your eyes, ''Can...can we cuddle while I'm...telling you about it?'' She asked you with a tiny blush present.
''Of course my love'' You say to her with a smile, you and Mukuro both lay down and she buried her head onto your chest.
''My nightmare was about....the screams from the war....my sister who abused me and didn't show me love or care and....the d-deaths of my c-classmates....'' Mukuro mumbled out.
While in the middle of venting out to you, you felt Mukuro shaking and your chest becoming wetter...
''Oh baby...shh please stop crying...'' You coo at her, pulling her face from your chest and wiping her tears from falling.
''Listen love, it's all in the past. I know its hard to move on but I worry for you....I worry that you'll get too...caught up in the past.'' You tell Mukuro with a sadden expression.
''I know...I know but...its...just so hard..'' Mukuro cried out letting more tears fall....
''Shh baby...my love, I'll always be with you...I'll protect you from all those bad nightmares every night....just please don't cry'' You tell her kissing her forehead.
Mukuro just nodded and kissed your neck, you soon heard light sores and breathing. Ah Mukuro has fallen asleep.
You let out a soft chuckle and kiss your forehead once more before mumbling out an ''I love you'' and joining her to dreamland as well~
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Done!~
Sorry it took quite long to finish I was pretty busy lately :)
I hope this meets up your expectations and you like it! :D
Thanks for requesting~!
Reblogs and Feedback/Comments are always appreciated! :3
(Note: Please don't copy and paste my works anywhere, and if you do see them on other platforms please inform me.)
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mitamicah · 1 year ago
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Lemme hear your songs :3
2/4/9/12/17/21/23 :3
I hope this is too much, if it is just pick the ones you like the most. :3
Okay let me get mentally ready for this xD
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2. A song to sleep to?
Silence x'D no, but I am not a fan of falling asleep to a song tbh because I want to finish it and the fear of not hearing the whole song is scary OVO
I remember this one song I heard that had a very dreamy, sleepy vibe to it, let's see if I can find it :3
Goodnight Moon by Go Radio
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4. A song that hypes you the fuck up
Do you know how hard is not to go for Cha Cha Cha rn x'D? Hmmm... what other songs hype me up 🤔Okay Hoita Mut and Gay (both by Benjamin) also does something for me x'D
Hoita Mut by Benjamin
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GAY by Benjamin
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9. A song that makes you want to go on an adventure?
Now we talked about the HTTYD soundtrack recently why not go for Test Drive x'D
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12. A song to listen to whilst you lie in a meadow?
I think I got it: Nocturne by Secret Garden ... it is just so pretty and so cool that it is basically a 2 min violin solo sandwiched inbetween some pretty lyrics :'D (Also, it won Eurovision the year I was born x'D) but I Hear A Symphony is another good meadow energy song tbh :3
Nocturne by Secret Garden
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I Hear A Symphony by Cody Fry
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17. A song that makes you want to grab your friends jump up and down dancing and screaming the lyrics?
Oh boy then it need to be a song we both know x'D (not very likely with how my playlist looks like rn :'D) ... Oh, I believed I've done this specific thing to Toxic so I guess that one x'D
Toxic by Britney Spears
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21. A song for when the sun has gone down and you are feeling absolutely buck-wild with exhilaration!
The whole scenario gives me vibes of Ethnic tecno weirdness from Eurovision so I'm sorry I have to go with my gut and say it is a three way street between Shum, Fulenn and Spirit in the Sky ... due to post limitations however I'll go with Keiino :'D
Spirit in the Sky by KEiiNO
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23. A song that when you listen to it you’re transported to a liminal space, time is pointless and you must sit and wallow in the void that remains
Am I being too much up ESC's butt if I say my gut reaction was Tout l'univers :'D?
I think I might go with the Synthesis version of My Immortal instead tho :'D
My Immortal by Evanescence
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sekhisadventures · 6 months ago
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Murglblrgle
Avalon House, Stormwind City
Dareley Steelhammer gasped as he stood in his room, the paladin gazing into the mirror above his washbasin. “Light… guide me ‘n protect me… dunnae forsake me…” he whispered, sweat beading on his forehead and rolling down his cheeks, soaking into his snowy-white beard.
Behind him, he heard a faint chuckle, but he ignored it.
He was dressed in just his house clothes of a white cloth tunic and leather trousers, the elderly dwarf taking several deep breaths as he steadied himself with his hands. “Imma Knight o’ th’ Silver Hand… th’ Light is with me, even in th’ darkest o’ places…” he intoned, then gasped and clutched at his chest as the laughter began to get louder.
He shuddered, then pulled off his shirt and moved his beard, gasping at the sight.
He had a barrel chest, still sturdy and muscular even in his old age, but there was a splotch of pure blackness dead center on his torso, and it was spreading. “No! Light! I call ta ye, banish th’ darkness! It has no place here!” he shouted, pressing a hand to his chest… but the Light would not answer him…
He shuddered, pulling his hand back, and cried out in horror as he saw his skin on his hands turning the same shade of inky dark. Not just dark skinned, but the darkness of a starless sky on a moonless night.
The darkness of the Void.
“LIGHT! I BEG O’ YE! DUNNAE FORSAKE YER SON!” he gasped as he fell to his knees, then onto his side, but the darkness was spreading across his body now, leaching color and warmth from him as it went.
The laughter echoed around him, and he saw someone walking towards him… he looked up, and bit back a scream.
Dissonantia, in the sha-corrupted form she’d worn the day she died, grinning down at him. The dark shadow-covered claws, the huge demonic wings big enough to engulf her entire body, and her eyes… all seven of them, five an acidic yellow and two a deep bloody crimson, all focused on him.
“Yez got me… but I ain’t bloody goin’ alone Steelhammer!” she sneered as the shadows crept up his chin and began to engulf his head… the paladin shuddering in pain and terror…
Suddenly, a loud clang echoed through the area!
The Hold of the Glittering Prize, anchored near a small, unnamed island east of the Isle of Dorn
Dareley sat up with a start, feeling over his chest, then examining his hands, then sighing as he looked around. To his left was Zhan-min’s bed, the pandaren man rising and yawning hugely to reveal a mouth full of sharp bear-like teeth while, to his right, was Grimo’s bunk. The goblin sat up, coughed dramatically several times in a way that suggested something horrible was happening to his lungs, then shrugged it off and picked up his cigar case to go have his morning smoke.
Above them Jeemjazo let go of the bell’s rope, nodding to himself before he went to do his morning rounds, checking the most important knots were secure as the others got up. They had anchored there last night, intending to use it for resources. It wasn’t huge, but it was big enough to have a small forest with its own little ecosystem, and the group figured they could restock fuel and food there.
Thus, while Dareley, Zhan-min, Galdia, and Nitika would gather lumber from the nearby trees for cooking and to fuel the steamboat’s engine Grimo, Aziguni, and Edwood would go hunting and foraging. Grimo and Aziguni being skilled with ranged weaponry that they might get some game, Edwood knowing how to recognize a toxic plant from an edible one. While they did Jaie and Shalandrae would gather food from the sea. Jaie using a fishing line, and Shalandrae by using her shapeshifting powers to simply gather it directly.
A couple hours in and four trees had been felled and cut into manageable sized logs, Nitika and Zhan-min in charge of hauling them back to the ship as Dareley and Galdia did the chopping
Dareley swung his axe with the ease and precision of a dwarven man, most of their people having trained to use such tools as weapons growing up. Much like a tree, their enemies had to go all the way to the ground, and a good chopping motion with an axe or a hammer would do a number on a foe’s legs.
As he did he heard the sound of sand crunching as Nitika walked towards him. “Hoy lass, almost got this one. Go ahead ‘n catch yer breath fer a bit. It’ll be ready soon.” he replied.
“Er… actually Dareley, I wanted to ask you something.” she replied, coming to a halt a few feet away.
The dwarf looked up at her curiously, then shrugged and sat the axe down blade-first on the sand, resting his elbow on the other end of the tool as he wiped his forehead. “Aye? Alright then, whatcha wanna know Nitika?” he asked.
“Dareley… are you alright? I’ve just been worried about what Dissonantia’s spell did to you back in the Void. I mean, you were almost dead when we got you back to Valdrakken. It took all of us who could use healing magic to bring you back from the brink.” she asked, kneeling on the dunes so that she could be closer to his height, which was a difficult as most dwarves never grow taller than four and a half feet, and Nitika was tall even by the standards of tauren women at nine feet.
Dareley snorted, “Oh is that all? Aye I’m doin’ jus’ dandy lass.  Ye lot did a good job. Still got a few aches from it but, eh, I’m an old soldier. I got scars all over me body, this is just one more piece o’ proof I was out there given what fer ta somethin’ that deserved it.” he replied with a firm nod, moving to pick up the axe again.
“Dareley I…” she began, reaching out a hand, but the dwarf waved her away.
“I’m fine Nitika. Its nothin’. Still plenty o’ steel in me hammer.” he nodded, then swung it at the tree again with a loud THUNK as the blade bit into the wood.
Nitika hesitated, then sighed, “Alright, fine. Just… let me know if you aren’t, okay?” she asked, standing up and stretching.
“Aye aye, ah will.” he shrugged, landing the blade home with one final THWACK as a creaking filled the area, the dwarf shouldering the blade and calling out, “TIIIIIIIMBER!” to warn anyone nearby to watch for the falling tree.
As Nitika stood by, waiting for him to quarter the tree into logs, she heard a voice in the back of her mind.
“(I could just, you know, make him tell the truth Sunny.)” pointed out Darkhoof.
Nitika frowned and snorted like an annoyed bull, “(Absolutely not!)” she whispered back, “(For one, Dareley is a Paladin so it might not work and for another… absolutely NOT! We’re not going to use your powers to control his mind!)”
“(So you’d rather wait for a obstinate old dwarf to admit he’s still hurting from what Dissonantia did to him? He’s a dwarf Sunny! They’re a stubborn as rocks and we both know it.)” retorted her darker side.
“(I. Said. No Darkhoof.)” she growled under her breath, gazing out at the sea. “(There’s some things I just won’t let you do. Deal with it.)”
Deeper inland Edwood was humming a sea shanty to himself as he filled a basket with a fruit not entirely unlike oranges, nodding happily at the find. “Lovely lovely, looks like we dodged scurvy fer another day mateys.” he grinned over at Aziguni and Grimo.
The draenei smiled, “Wonderful news Edwood. I’m sure Jaie will have plenty of ideas for how to use those.” she chuckled as she knelt down, checking the ground. “Hmm…” she mused, looking over what she found. “About… seven inches wide, irregular shape… if I’m not wrong this is…” she began, then winced as a cry of disgust went up.
“OH FUCKIN’ FEL!” cursed Grimo as he looked down, his foot standing in a slightly larger pile of what Aziguni was examining. It was dark black, and now that he’d broken the crust it smelled awful.
Aziguni chuckled, “… wild boar droppings.” she finished, standing up, “A large one too. Should be enough to feed most of us, perhaps all of us if there is more than one.”
Grimo frowned, then tried to scrape his boot off on a nearby tree root. “Great… definitely wouldn’t mind putting a bullet or two in whatever left THAT…” he grumbled, cocking his rifle as he did.
Aziguni looked around, narrowing her eyes. “Hmm… hoofprints, they look fresh, and the tree roots here are dug up. They were likely seeking food themselves.” she nodded, drawing an arrow from her quiver and sliding it into place. “I would say…” she looked around, spotting several more trees marked with tusk strikes, “… that way.” she nodded, carefully picking her path through the underbrush as Grimo followed along behind her.
Edwood grinned, heading further along the other way. If the boars were that way he’d search for useful fruits and herbs somewhere else to ensure the goblin and draenei had a clear line of fire for their quarry. “Hmm… hmm… oh? Oho! Island peppers!” he cackled, picking several, “Sailor musta lost some seeds, these ain’t native ta this part o’ Azeroth…” he nodded, “Bet Jaie can make a REAL treat outta this.” he grinned, “… ‘n… lets see…” he mused, the forsaken warlock leaning into a nearby bush… “Hmm… smell somethin’ ‘ere… somethin’…” he parted the bushes, then froze.
On the other side of them was a village, several crude huts made of sticks tied together with vines. Specifically with seaweed with roofs of palm leaves… and among the ramshackle buildings were no less than sixteen murlocs, all of whom were staring right at him.
“… fishy… ah bugger.” he swore as one of the murlocs pointed a stone spear at him and let out a gurgly scream to the others.
“BUGGER!” he swore as another spear suddenly lodged itself in the tree next to his head, the warlock turning and running towards where the ship was anchored! A murloc wasn’t an extremely dangerous foe for an experienced adventurer, but a whole village?!
Behind him a loud war cry of “MURGLEBURLGLEBLURGLE!” went up and he heard the sound many of feet beating a path out behind him.
“SHITE SHITE SHITE!” he shouted, running as fast as he could. If there was one advantage to his undead state it was that he didn’t need to worry about running out of breath, stitches in his side, or muscle cramps… but he wasn’t exactly athletic in life and less so in undeath! The murlocs were gaining on him!
Back near the ship those who weren’t on hunting or logging duty were relaxing near the surf. Jaie was seated on the beach cross legged, meditating and enjoying the salty smell of the ocean (it reminded her of her childhood on the Wandering Isle,) and Shalandrae was lounging in the sand in her dreamsaber form next to Eocundo. Muaaqi was having a snack on the greenery growing on the isle, rather happy to have something besides raw oats to eat.
Both Jaie and Shalandrae had already finished their food gathering duties, between the two of them it was quick work to harvest over a dozen large fish with ease, and Shalandrae had managed to gather up a good supply of clams from the seabed as well for a rare treat.
Jeemjazo was at the waterline, letting his footpaws soak in the sea as Murgly Jim splashed happily about in the waves. Leza giggled at the sight, then went back to her spellbook as her new familiar flitted around her head. The fiery hummingbird was as easy for her to summon as a candleflame after what had happened, and she couldn’t wait to tell Nelen all about it now that she knew (though she couldn’t quite put into words how she knew,) that they were alive on the Isle of Dorn.
Mola’raum was laying down in the sand himself, his hands folded under his head as he lounged. He was undead, he didn’t need to sleep, but he did enjoy just chilling out and, hey, it was a relaxing place to do it.
However, it was about to become a lot less relaxing.
Jeemjazo heard it first, the vulpera looking up as his ear flicked. “Huh… hey mateys? Isn’t that Ed?” he called to the others.
Jaie opened her eyes, looking up, “Whats going on Jeemjazo?” she asked.
“Dunno, I think I hear Ed shouting something…” he frowned, stepping out of the surf as his hand reached for his cutlass.
Mola’raum raised his head as Shalandrae rolled onto her belly and stood up, yawning huge as she slowly rose back up from four legs to two, changing back into an elf. “Yeah… I hear something too…” she nodded. In her elven form her hearing was among the most acute out of all their allies. “Something like…” she trailed off, then she recognized the gurgling guttural cries. “MURLOCS! LOTS OF THEM! HEADING THIS WAY!” she shouted, and immediately she fell to all fours again as her body swelled into the massive ursine form of a bristlebear.
“AH KEEHAUL IT ALL!” swore Jeemjazo as he unsheathed his sword and axe, “There must be a village on th’ island!”
Leza yipped and scrambled to her feet, then picked up her wand from where she’d dropped it, then picked up her spellbook from where she’d dropped it picking up her wand, then held both firmly and began to conjure a flame at the tip of her weapon.
Mola’raum rolled back, putting his hands next to his head, and with exceptionally impressive agility for someone wearing plate armor he leapt up onto his feet in one fluid motion, pulling his runespear from the sand where he’d stuck it point first next to him.
Jaie jumped to her feet as well, slipping into a fighting stance as Edwood came into view around the curve of the island, running as fast as his undead flesh would allow.
“MATEYS! MURLOCS! MAN TH’ CANNONS!” he shouted as he sprinted across the dunes, his feet kicking up sand behind him as his pursuers came into view. At least two dozen now, likely they’d passed more in the ocean who had been out hunting or gathering, and they were all bearing down on the forsaken man!
Shalandrae roared in defiance, clawing at the sand as Eocundo and Muaaqi took up positions at her sides. They may be Aziguni’s animals, but they had grown to see the druid much the same as her draenei lover in recent months, they would not let her stand alone!
Jaie moved into position next, standing ready as Mola’raum glared, gripping the haft of his spear and staring down the encroaching swarm of fishmen. “We gotta keep dem away from de ship!” he warned as the others nodded, Jeemjazo gripping his weapons tightly as Leza whimpered and aimed her wand forward. If the murlocs got past them they would likely head straight for the Glittering Prize for its less glittering but no less prized provisions inside and tear the ship to pieces stealing them!
Edwood reached them first, stumbling to a halt with what produce he’d managed to keep from dropping and quickly set it behind them, then turned to face the murlocs and raised his hands which were suddenly wreathed in felfire! “Right ye bloody piranhas! Lets see how ye like THESE odds!” he snarled as the adventurers made ready, the murlocs almost within range to begin a counterattack… and suddenly…
“MURGLEBURLGE!” came a loud, high-pitched voice.
The murlocs in the lead jumped at the sound, slowing as the ones behind them almost collided with them from behind. “Mruglb? Mrublgbl?” gargled one of them, looking around.
Before anyone could act there was a sudden scrabbling sound and a small creature ran between the two groups, holding a small red object.
“What in th’…” whispered Jeemjazo, staring in shock at the sight before them.
Standing between the adventurers and the murloc villagers was Murgly Jim, his red coral wand held out like a sword.
“MURGLY!” he shouted, pointing it at the lead murloc.
The murlocs weren’t charging now, they were all staring at Jim with a look of… well, a look of a murloc as far as the others could tell, but to another murloc it would seem to be a very confused expression.
“Wot da fook be goin’ on?” whispered Mola’raum to Jeemjazo, not lowering his spear, but not attacking either.
“Matey I got no bloody clue…” the vulpera whispered in reply, “I don’t feckin’ speak murloc! Nobody but murlocs do! Its just gurgly screaming! Sekhi is th’ only one I ever met who could work out what he’s on about!”
Murgly Jim pointed to the group behind him, “Mrugblgbl…” then to the Glittering Prize in the distance, “Burblblrbl…” and then off to the west, “… burblublblblrbl!” he nodded firmly.
The lead murloc looked at Jim, then at the adventurers behind him, then pointed at Edwood and let out a string of guttural gurgling sounds. They didn’t sound very friendly.
Murgly Jim shook his head at the murloc villager. “MURGLYBURLGYBLURGLE!” he retorted, gesturing to the woods and the coastline, then back to the ship and back out to sea. “Blurbleblruble!”
Shalandrae cocked her head, then slowly her body shrank back in on itself as she changed back from a bear to an elf, the woman standing up. “I think… he’s trying to tell them we’re not their enemies?” she tried, sounding surprised.
Jeemjazo looked at her, his eyebrows raising high, “Ye can understand what Jim’s sayin’?” he asked as Leza looked between the elf and the murloc tadpole in surprise. To her it was just what Jeemjazo had said, gurgly screamy sounds. Total gibberish.
She shrugged, “Some of it yeah… Its not too different from the language of other sea creatures and I can kinda get that… bits and pieces anyway.” she nodded, “He says… at least I think he says… that we didn’t know they were on the island and that we were just getting supplies.” she nodded.
Shalandrae, being a druid, could understand the language of animals to some degree, on an instinctual level. She’d never had reason to pay attention to what a murloc was saying before (normally because the murlocs she’d encountered would be doing their very best to kill her) but now that she was it was not too different from the voices she’d hear of fish and other aquatic life… that being said, she couldn’t understand all of it. Like someone who had taken Spanish in High School encountering someone who grew up in Mexico, they got the main points… but a lot of nuances were lost.
The lead murloc gurgled loudly and angrily thrust his spear towards them again, the other murlocs behind him raising theirs and gurgling in fury.
Shalandrae winced, “From what I can tell… the murlocs don’t believe him. They said that every time sailors come to the island their villagers wind up dead. They think we’ll attack them just because we found them, so they want to kill us first.” she looked around, then waved her hands downwards, “Everyone! Put your weapons away, hands out where they can see them!” she hissed.
The rest of the group quickly stowed their weapons and held out their hands, palms open as Murgly Jim looked back at them, then nodded to the murlocs and gurgled out a string of rather watery sounds.
The murloc leader cocked his head, blinking his huge yellow eyes, then gurgled out something that sounded irritated, but not aggressive and waved a flipper. As one the group of murlocs turned to go, though they didn’t stop glancing back at them until they were out of sight.
Shalandrae let out a breath, “Okay… I think they said that they’ll give us until nightfall to get what we need and leave. After that, no promises. I’m going to send a message to Aziguni and Nitika and have them pass it along to the others, but yeah. We’re sleeping out at sea tonight.” she murmured, taking her gemstone out of her pouch and drawing a rune on the surface.
After getting the message the others helped bring in what logs they had found, then Nitika, Galdia, and Zhan-min helped Aziguni and Grimo haul two rather impressive boars out of the forest and butcher them on a makeshift frame on the beach before loading up on as much of the meat as they could. As soon as they were done the group cleaned up, raised the anchor, and sailed out to sea.
Nearby was a trio of murloc scouts, waiting in the water. They emerged as the ship left and found on the sand several cuts of boar meat in a wooden bowl. The murlocs shrugged, then took the bowl back to the village. They may not understand the gesture, but they were carnivores and wouldn’t turn up their noses (or what they had instead of nostrils) at fresh meat.
That night, after a meal of roast peppered pork with fruit salad for dessert, Jeemjazo lay in his bunk with Murgly Jim dozing in his shell nearby, the vulpera glancing over at the eggshell where he slept. Outside on the deck Mola’raum and Edwood kept watch over the ocean. It was always their duty, but they didn’t mind as it meant nobody else had to worry about being tired. After all, they were the restless dead. They didn’t need to sleep.
Jeemjazo’s ear flicked thoughtfully as he watched the murloc tadpole snoozing away, then he looked up at the ceiling above. “I am definitely gonna have ta tell Captain Brokenbirth ‘bout this one when we meet up on th’ Isle o’ Dorn…” he murmured, then he rolled over and closed his eyes.
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kalims · 2 years ago
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˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "who i like? do you seriously think I'm gonna tell you that? anyways its—"
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大好き
premise. someone asks who you like.. and you respond with their name—said person right beside you!
characters. all dorms and their prominent students
includes. gn reader
note. after a long wait! and the almost month this has been on my 'to be added' category it's hereeee.. fun fact.. I actually finished another work because I liked the idea of it more even though this was my prioritized.
was 20 mins late because I was fixing my posts aksbja
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heartslabyul
looks at you like you're insane. I'm confident everyone can envision riddle's face like that. it's in between the verge of being flustered and being appalled by your lack of filter. heat practically steams out of riddle's ears as his movements stutters, clearly struggling to comprehend what you said. maybe you should get ready for an earful but you're pleasantly suprised when riddle sets aside his.. passionate emotions to shyly ask a confirmation. (with admitted aggression as if he's in denial)
trey's eyebrows shoot up but the action looks way more casual than it should be. I mean, surprisingly he's pretty calm on taking it into account but he ends up just being a smiling fool beside you as you continue your conversation with your friend. he's like... ‎◜◡◝ beside you as your friend looks between the two of you in a hurry before breaking into a laugh. should be be worried that you're this bold..? well, it did work in his favor so he can't say a thing.
happy go luck cater looks even more happy than you've ever seen him in your life. hanging lowly by his sides, his hands twitch and he itches to pull out his phone to basically renounce to the world that his feelings are very much reciprocated and probably lowkey shitting on the people with one sided loves because, ha! he wins!! you bet he's gonna settle for screaming in his private account and then proceeding to scream in his pillow.
before he could foster up a grin and break out of the 'calm and responsible' honor student, deuce had to keep his lower lips under his teeth lest he looks like a weirdo smiling uncontrollably tinged in flush. the whole time he was just staring at you goofily.. like he's on cloud nine, which I concur. because he is. the one who gets gaslighted (not by you) into thinking that you both now are in a relationship like.. deuce be for real you didn't even ask me on a fate. (actually both of you might think you're in a relationship because of the way you're acting like yall are)
contrary to beliefs I think ace would be on the more casual side. you know? throwing an arm around your shoulder and shattering whatever personal space criteria there was. clearly there's no need when you 'like' him so much. he's using your words as an excuse to do whatever he wants, like leaning strangely close, letting a hand linger longer than it should. whatever restraint he had before is gone now because now he's moving onto a new level of personal. you'd either hate or secretly like the change. hate because ace wtf we're in class and like because,, who wouldn't want your crush to be overly affectionate with you?
savanaclaw
you'd think leona wasn't listening at all just from the indifferent look on his face but you know better just from the way his eyes perk up, tail sticking up in dormant but still a signal of alert and attention. for once he doesn't quip a tease, or a smart-ass remark that would want you to shovel your way to the ground on embarrassment. he just.. sits there, staring seemingly into the void of thin air itself. maybe it's because he's feeling particularly sentimental or sensitive today that his heart feels like it's encased in warmth. it feels good.
a laugh too shaky for his preferences, ruggie hopes he didn't look too nervous for his sake. I mean, this is literally his suprise of the century and when I tell you that it's a big shock to him, it's an understatement. come on, if he did think you had feelings for him ruggie imagined the confession going normally. either buttering him up or going straight to the point—the latter, which he prefers but when he said to be direct he certainly didn't expect this! the hyena runs away with jitters and a skip to his steps but he comes back a few minutes later looking more relaxed than you've ever seen him.
once again. contrary to expectations which the savanclaw boys had practically shattered those, many would think jack would go all shy. from the previous savanaclaw boys you'd think I'd go against expectations again but you're.. wrong hehe. i don't know how to explain other than he wills himself to show a reaction other than fluster, maybe it's just in his pride to now show you an ounce of weakness but literally how could be when you're the weakness? he doesn't know if you making him soft is good or not.
octavinelle
if it was real and possible to actually happen without a third party force, azul's glasses would've definitely shattered the moment you said the direct confession. he's torn between wanting to excuse himself to scream like a school girl or intent to not let the fluster show. well, either way he does both. keeping his emotions hardly in check, sometimes slipping up multiple times but when the time comes where you both part ways you know he's silently smiling to himself when he turns round a corner. the twins are suspicious and curious as to why azul had been in a good mood nowadays..
either jade maintains his cool, natural closed eyed smile or he crinkles his eyes when he breaks into a large sharp toothed grin. of course both has the lingering ominous feeling around it because it's jade.. and even you have to agree that him openly cracking a grin isn't exactly a good sign of peace, rather so a harbinger of trouble. if you were bold enough to say that in his presence I wonder how that previous confidence will fare when he's practically picking at your earlier words to gouge a reaction. no jade, I only said like. not love (yet).
no one other than floyd would be more than ecstatic. he didn't hear it at first, blinking then tilting his head to the side when he pauses to register it. so when he finally processes it you bet he's giggling in his head but in real time? he's practically sweeping you off your feet to hug you in the air. figures with the strange merman strength.. you find out that floyd is quite clingy when he's immensely happy, he even refused to let you go through classes and when you insisted he just sat down next to your seat and promptly kicked out whoever sat there before! floyd atleast hide! I mean the professor would surely notice the eel that's not in supposed to be in their class.
scarabia
if there was an option where he could purchase everything in the world then giving it to you without expecting anything back kalim would surely choose it. you got him so happy to the fact that he's willing to do practically anything that you ask. he doesn't mean to be over the top but.. he just wants to make you happy, which is more than you deserve. no matter how many times you tell him that you don't need any gifts but rather him only, it seemed like it only did worse since he practically fell a hundred times harder which brings us to the conclusion that he wants to give you the world a whole lot more now..
a complete opposite of kalim. jamil merely blinks and casts you a side eye. for the record, he is a little impressed you're that bold because if it was him he would've just brushed this person away or claimed that he liked no one but here you are. completely obliterating the concept of secrets. perhaps that's why he likes you in the first place, your personality is certainly a force to reckon with.. but sometimes you just have to tone down the chaos.. *please* 😐
pomefiore
vil is no stranger to bold proclamations but he can't deny he's a little startled. well, he didn't pick you out to be that type of person. either way usually he'd plaster a quick smile, the words not hitting anything other than the skin of his heart. strangely enough he can't keep the smile wider than he'd like off his face, he's immensely pleased by your words and pomefiore has never been so happy by the obvious good mood their dorm leader had. cause he left them alone for the whole day to practice stick to your side.
his eyes immediately crinkle in joy, rook has to look away and cover the lower part of his face to shy away the flush in his cheeks that would give away his thoughts. rook wouldn't mind if you knew how he felt, but this time he feels as though he's doing this to contain the excitement off his face. you can practically hear the tremble in his voice as he giggles out. "oh tricheur ! mon coeur bat pour toi dans ma poitrine!" it looks like rook completely forgot to existence of the person right next to you. if he got madol from the amount of times he practically sang of his love for you rook would be rich.
just like any other time where you say something off handed epel quickly goes out of character and nearly screams. asking, shaking your shoulders, out of breath by the amount of times he aggressively shook you for the answer of "really?!" his voice becomes that of a boy you aren't used to, but if he's really that willing to show you the person he truly is it makes you like him more. if you do agree, admittedly with your surroundings growing distorted he yells out a happy "YESSS." then coughs and resumes to his soft persona like he wasn't the complete opposite a minute ago. (the person that asked was shook)
ignihyde
it's hard to say if idia is actually gonna be next to you since,, he's idia and do you really think he'd entertain the thought of being in a conversation with someone who he doesn't know? so let's just pretend his tablet is floating next to you, it's better than nothing you guess. you spared a glance to the electronic when you literally confessed your type, idia himself fitting the category perfectly. you swore you heard a squeak but ehh.. maybe it was a rat or something.
meanwhile. ortho comes inside idia's room expecting his elder brother to just be sitting on his bed, gaming chair or something but no. idia shroud is on the floor, with his headphones hazzardly over the floor like it fell over when he did. his hair is sprawled around the floor, heating into a concerning passionate pink as he rolls around and... squeals..? just from the headphones ortho can vaguely hear a "my type..? oh you know idia? I'd kill to have a boyfriend like him." playing on repeat.
diasomnia
he would be like: ˘ ˘ and then: ‎◜◡◝ after he hears you. if there a sound for a big, happy dragon malleus would be excluding them. when I tell you he wishes nothing but to just whisk you away on spot he's not kidding, unlike everyone else who unintentionally forgot the person who asked. this man forgets them intentionally because he can't keep his eyes off you like.. 'hey other human. me and my child of man are having a moment here. will you please leave now. did you not get the sign'
giggles but with his deep voice it sounds kinda weird, but nice to the ears nonetheless. lilia labels you as his main target now, perhaps scaring you shitless at the random times is his love languange because he does it a lot. don't worry though, he always says a half hearted apology with a smile and showers you with affection right after. how could you be mad with how he treats you? even though he cares for you after you can't help but pray that the glint you saw in the ceiling was just some shiny thing.. maybe malleus got it from him because he doesn't care for the other person too.
sebek scolds you period. not only have you mentioned his name (which he's embarrassingly torn between being disgusted and fluster) but you've also mentioned that he's your type?? but I honestly think he approves your taste. "OF COURSE I am the ideal man! I applaud you for once human. not everyone can see the value of loyalty and devotion to waka-sama!" he says but with the increasing pink in his face you know better than to think that it's for the sole reason of malleus.
with the increasing time you've both spent together, silver has practically devoted himself to following you around whenever he's awake. (sebek says something about him always needing to be by malleus' side but quickly shuts up after silver comments that sebek is more than capable to look after him) the surroundings are growing hazy when you say it but he hears it nonetheless. he's happy to say that he dreamt a pleasing dream he's ever gotten in a long time. and since you were in it, it's safe to say that he's positively infatuated now.
clarifications
translation for rook is,, "oh trickster! my heart beats for you in my chest!"
I connected ignihyde parts since I REFUSE to leave out ortho!!
I really liked how those ^ parts came out. my favorite actor cause I think it's cute for idia to be freaking out like that lolol. especially with the idea of recording of your voices to listen to cause he's that down bad
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handsingraphite · 2 years ago
Text
A Mishmash of Thoughts on KP World Tour Manila
I just need to get out my thoughts and feelings on everything that went down last night at the KPTS World Tour Manila stop. There aren’t a lot of places where I can scream into the void, but this is one such place.
As with all my screaming, it tends to get very long, though, so they’re under the cut.
On the Day of the Show
MOA Arena has a sporting event capacity of 15K to 20K. It can actually accommodate more at the producers’ discretion (of course, considering safety standards). It’s a huge venue, in short. Given record-high inflation, the fact that some people would have to fly in from their provinces and find accommodation etc -- I was afraid that the venue would only be about 30-50% full. Even though I do believe that without logistical constraints, they had enough of a fanbase here to fill that arena.
But when I arrived at the venue, there were so many people. That was a core memory for me: seeing the same level of enthusiasm as for any other touring artist, the organized fan projects, and the banners and lightsticks being passed around. I saw photo-op booths for the different cast members. People were so nice, too: I was the only one who’d gotten into Soundcheck, so I was on my own, but other fans immediately approached me, talked to me, and helped me out. It was such a nice atmosphere to be in.
I do regret not coming earlier to go around all the fanclub initiatives. I hadn’t realized that the Soundcheck winners would basically be held inside the venue already from 2PM. 
(Side note: I think in the future, there’s a better way of going about this. I remember getting into Soundcheck for another artist in the past, and the Soundcheck itself was held not too long from the show start. It also did not have such a long queuing time. Being there by, technically 12PM for the strapping, meant that we could not leave for ~8 hours.)
Soundcheck
Ticket strapping started at 12PM which was a nightmare to queue in due to the noonday sun
I was at the entrance by 1:45PM, on the dot, but nothing was happening yet; we stood in line for 30-45 mins and in typical Filipino spirit, were jokingly heckling the marshals 
“Kuya, anong petsa na kami papasok diyan!” (Kuya, what day will we be able to go inside!)
Someone asked the marshals if they saw the cast, and one Kuya said no. But that the important thing was that we get inside in an organized line HAHA
A girl wearing a Sailor Moon costume joined the line and everyone was ooh-ing and aah-ing over her; the BOC videographers actually did an interview with her, which she absolutely deserved
Another fan came wearing a really beautiful dress that may have been Thai traditional clothing (? not particularly sure about this)
There was a collective sigh of relief when they opened the lobby doors and we could feel the blast of cooler air reach us
We were finally let into the lobby area at about ~3PM, cue the lining up for the merchandise booth (it was empty at the time) and handing out of fan benefits
Soundcheck started at ~4PM and lasted for 20 mins, which felt a bit cut short but was fun to be part of nonetheless. Some highlights (I was focusing on Mile, Apo, Jeff, and Barcode the most):
Everyone just started screaming as the cast came out and they were very clearly taken aback by it, but also very happy
Apo was the pack leader/main spokesperson: I know so many fan accounts talk about how hyper he is, but you really can lose sight of him in a second if you’re not paying enough attention. He was zooming up and down the aisles, going from corner to corner, and was generally just very lovely and bouncing around. Also his English is so good, and throughout Soundcheck and the concert he took the lead in introductions
Apo accidentally hit Barcode in the face, lol, poor Barcode
Mile was quite chill and laid-back! But he had the biggest grin on his face the entire time. It’s funny to see Apo running circles around everyone, meanwhile Mile took his time walking. The word I’d use for it is that he seems very deliberate in his movements -- including making his way to Apo at the end
God bless Jeff Satur and his voice. Absolutely loved that it was 100% live, and he rendered Free Fall so well; there was a moment I managed to get on video of him with Barcode behind him, and Jeff stopped singing so he could hear the fans instead
Barcode looked so fluffy! Every time I see him I am reminded by my own younger brother, I love how shyly he was going around to greet the fans
At the ending climax of the first Thai song, Jeff/Apo/Tong/Bible etc were fooling around and raising their hands to the sky dramatically
We started chanting “Isa pa! Isa pa!” (One more! One more!) but they probably thought we were just making noise and they left lol although I’m sure even if they’d understood they would still have needed to end it there
We couldn’t go out of the lobby anymore, so we got to hear the sound of Slot Machine rehearsing
All in all, typical Soundcheck length and the cast were conscious of making sure to approach the different sections. I would like to have even a fraction of Apo’s energy. I would definitely like to have Jeff Satur’s voice. 
The one thing to improve on is what I mentioned about queuing time, and relative time between Soundcheck and show start because just staying in one area for 6 to 8 hours is a bit of a downer. Plus a lot of people didn’t get to eat a proper lunch and/or dinner.
Show Proper (Scattered)
Slot Machine was such an energizing opener. They went for ~30 mins and the entire crowd was with them: Free Fall is absolutely divine to hear live. It’s that pump-up song, you know? They worked the crowd very well, and also made a lot of interactive moments e.g. asking us to make their sign, asking us to move in specific ways, throwing out guitar picks (?) A couple of fans behind me were losing their minds over the guitarist, it was really funny. They amped up they hype level very quickly, no lull moments.
There was a bit of a lull transitioning into the main show and so many fans were just randomly screaming thinking the cast was about to go out. But the roar that came out when they finally appeared was massive -- they just stood and took it all in, and a lot of them were failing to keep a straight face because of the crowd response. Everyone got a huge cheer which seemed to overwhelm many of them.
Throughout the show they kept calling the fans “beautiful”, “cute”, etc and complimenting the people who showed up in costumes. And the crowd ate it up lol we’re very easy to please: Show up and breathe, we’ll scream. Tell us we’re the best, and we scream harder.
Found myself thinking that Us was such a great performer, his styling was on point, and there’s just something indescribable about how he performed that really drew my attention. I was frustrated that I didn’t hit record, apparently, at the part where he goes, “Lips, hips, neck, fingers...” because that was such a good moment.
Barcode also has so much potential as a performer -- I’m thinking maybe the most out of them, just something in the way he carries himself at such a young age. He was charismatic during his Pretty Savage cover, cheeky and very much out to prove he’s capable of taking on a concept opposite of the wholesome, innocent vibe he had playing Porchay. Then he came up to the front and did This Song is Called You in the most earnest, puppy-like manner possible and tried to interact with everyone. We absolutely failed him when he stopped to let us sing the song, though. He very cutely fell to the ground in such a young teenager fashion, like, guys you had one job. Sorry, Barcode -- we’ll do better next time, so you have to come back, yeah?
Dance performances were fun, the crowd favorite was easily the bodyguard dance. When I tell you everyone around me got on their feet and surged to the barriers to start recording the moment that they started grinding on the stage floor... But then I remember that the Filipino crowd eats up these performances. 
Honorary mentions are: the Bible/Build scene midway through the show (still can’t tell how much of the screaming was due to the pairing vs the performance itself lol), and the Bible/Ta weapon-wielding dance along the middle of the aisle.
In general for the dance performances, though, the light shows they had going on sort of fritzed my eyesight. Which isn’t on them, I just hadn’t noticed how much my eyesight has deteriorated -- but I couldn’t properly look at the stages head-on, there were just a few moments where the lights didn’t go crazy enough so I could actually pay attention.
At this point I’d say they have great energy and stage presence, and as mentioned above, Us and Barcode have potential. It’s not a section where you can wholesale say they’re good at dancing, though, so like me, you’ll need to not take these so seriously and just enjoy what they’re giving.
Came alive for Perth’s Sailor Moon performance. He had a bit where he mentioned about the fan costumes and I thought they would call up the fan who wore Sailor Moon, but they didn’t, unfortunately. But I was very hyped for this skit because it’s just really good fun and a breather, and also, I’ve loved Sailor Moon as a kid. It definitely felt like a moment where I was harkening back to my childhood and Perth also fully committed to the bit, along with Ping, Pong and JJ, which made it even better. 
Show Highlights (for me)
No words for how wonderful Jeff was the entire night. He had my favorite performances. Especially him showcasing his musicianship with Why Don’t You Stay, because he makes dynamic vocal choices every time and his runs were so controlled. This is the sound of a singer who has spent years honing their craft. I’m really looking forward to him having a solo concert and would be among the first to buy tickets.
I have a hundred thousand feelings about him choosing to sing Leaves by Ben & Ben as the tailored song choice for the Manila stop. Aside from the fact that his voice criminally suits it, and that he sung it in a way that made it feel new -- Leaves means a lot to me personally. It was the song that got me through the early months of the pandemic, when there was so much bleak news coming in. I remember I would play it every day as a mantra to get to the next day, trying to keep living, trying to reassure myself I wasn’t alone in this though it often felt that way during the lockdowns. So thank you, Jeff. I fully expected he would sing one of the more classic OPM songs e.g. Hawak Kamay, but this song choice was even better. And he rendered it so well: the original song is softer, like a gentle reminder of things that would be better, but Jeff made this one sound like a conviction. Things are better, and even if they aren’t, they will be.
I would say that everyone’s cheers for Tong was the biggest one of the night, especially during the ending ment -- even before his declaration. He and Tankhun are universally loved. It was very sweet how he tried to tell the fans to conserve their energy during his performance in the first half of the show. (Note: That’s what tells you he’s new here: Manila concert crowds don’t let up until the very last second.) But of course I’m also going to bring up his cute moments at the ending ment, when he said he liked hearing us scream (at just about anything they did at that point, help), and when he asked to speak in Thai. I don’t think any of us expected he’d make a declaration right then and there, and right on cue someone brought a Pride flag (props to them for getting it past the guards) because it was such a pivotal moment in the show when Tong took it and waved it.
I have so many feelings about that moment. I’m so proud of Tong, because in the society we are in, it takes courage and heart to make a coming out statement. I’m happy for him, that he felt he was in a safe place, that he could say it with such strength. For us in the Philippines who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community or are allied with it, it may seem like we’re more accepting. But our general society still isn’t. Anti-discrimination and same-sex marriage bills languish as our politicians bring out bibles to argue against the granting of equal rights. Every day is a battle to get through, being who you authentically are, without being judged and oppressed by the surrounding environment. But we fight, every day, still. That was -- is --  a triumphant moment in the show, and for us in the community as well, to be seen and heard. To show a solid front. We all hold the line for each other.
Not everyone has to make a coming out statement. God knows Tong didn’t owe it to us, or to anyone but himself, but he still did it and I’m very grateful to him for it. But to everyone else who are still figuring it out, or are pressured, or maybe don’t feel safe enough yet to speak their truth, know that it is alright. We process it in different ways, and also need a conducive environment that will keep us safe.
Ending ment was very touching and meaningful for everyone, because the fanclubs (both local and international) prepared a fan video to play. It clearly surprised the boys because they were ready to start saying their thanks, then they had to turn around and watch. A lot of them started going teary -- but Mile was in permanently smiling mode, and so was Bible. The fanclubs put a lot of effort into making that MV -- I heard there was supposed to be another one that didn’t get aired due to some mix-up with Live Nation, but they’ve said they would post the part that was cut. 
Job was the first to speak and he was still recovering from the MV reveal, so he couldn’t find the words right away. Then the “We love you” chant started.
Barcode also got his own chant and it was such an Aww moment. He once again recounted his past, of not being able to travel abroad when he was younger. I’ve been in the same position before, so this message resonated with me. I really hope he finds more success and is able to bring his family around with him abroad soon.
Jeff is an angel and he earned Manila’s loyalty tonight. We love good singers. Really hoping he comes back with his own show.
Apo got his own chant as well, and couldn’t speak for a good few minutes waiting for the fervor to die down a bit so he could be heard. I remember him speaking very fluently in English almost the entire time, and he told us they’d been invited to Manila before (him and Mile), but that they waited until they could bring the entire cast and crew with them. (Note: I don’t remember anything apart from that because he glowed the entire time. I was a bit distracted.)
Mile was adorable, what the fuck. He looked teary-eyed but was smiling the whole way through, and said he was supposed to visit the Philippines before but did not push through because of the pandemic. He also said his father and brother had told him that the Philippines/Manila was unique and cute. He did seem so overwhelmed, said his “heart was shaking” at some point, likely because of the crowd response. It was funny because he said something about wanting to show his shaking heart, which then prompted the crowd to start chanting, “Take it off! Take it off!” pertaining to his shirt so he could “show his heart.” Personally endearing to me that he was smiling at first, thinking we were just making random noises, and then the slow descent into him realizing what we were actually asking him to do. He said a very bashful, “Next time, next time” to placate the crowd.
He asked to speak in Thai to give a more eloquent answer. But there seemed to be some issues with the translator, they couldn’t really catch up to whatever he was saying and there was just silence, so he took the reins back up in English. I was a bit sad by this, that he couldn’t express himself as he wanted to, and have some additional thoughts about the in-show translations later.
Mile and Apo. They deserve their own section for the many moments they had during the show:
The opening scene was well-choreographed, and who doesn’t love Apo as Porsche struggling his way out of his bindings while Mile as Kinn walks about like he owns the place (he probably does). It’s an entirely other thing to see Apo kicking around the place with so much strength and grace. There was a great push-and-pull atmosphere between them, up until Apo ran.
The pier scene was a major kilig moment and everyone was shouting for the kiss every other interval. Once again -- some notable translation issues here. But they were very sweet, Apo’s body acting was great (he was flopping around while standing), and they added in a few more unique touches in how they interacted with each other. Nothing too major. We were all holding our breaths for the kiss and was disappointed when the lights turned off. :(
The post-canon beach bar scene is now one of my core memories. Apo and Mile came in holding hands, pleased as can be, and then Apo made Mile do the cutest twirl. In most fancams of this segment, the sound was always too grainy to make out their singing, but I was pleasantly surprised to find Mile and Apo sing really darn well, too. Obviously not at Jeff Satur-level, but certainly in the category of “those high school boys who would sing and make people fall in love with them.” 
When You Say Nothing At All is also personally meaningful to me, given I grew up with my mother playing it all the time and my friends usually covering it for performances. The crowd sang along, as always. Apo kept touching Mile and everyone kept screaming about it; so he touched him even more. Mile had to pause singing at some point and looked so giddy. At another point he just kept trying to make us sing some more even though the song was clearly at its end, going “When you say...” and the crowd sort of confusedly singing back, “Nothing at all...” several times. Apo was also clearly enjoying the sing-along because he took off both of his in-ears to listen, and only put them back in when it was his turn.
Fly Me to the Moon is of course, a piece of the Mile & Apo lore, and Apo sounded really good singing it. He has a strong and clear voice, and a tone made for the more relaxed, slower songs. I’d love to share a video of it because the sound is actually very clear, but the image quality is shit so I’m figuring that out. In any case, cheeky Apo realized pretty early on that we would scream at whatever they did, and do whatever they asked. I think there was a moment where he stumbled a bit, like he was supposed to sing the rest of the song, but then made Mile stop and sweetly asked us if we would sing along with him. Then he restarted even stronger than his first pass at the song, and Mile was having the time of his life off to the side watching this unfold. 
Mile did the cutest little tongue-out expression when he said Kinn and Porsche would sing us another song backstage. Please elaborate on this, good sir!
They were so cute running out of the stage, still tightly holding hands :(
Their fanservice segment where Apo first walked out wearing their Thai national costume and looked gorgeous doing so. Then Mile came out dancing in the cutest way to the cutest background music, and came hopping down exactly like a Samoyed to join Apo, where they very cutely walked down the aisle making Thai hand gestures.
I got to see them really up close when they went down the stage. Essays have been written about Mile and Apo looking unreal. I’m not sure I’m the one with the words to make it real.
Apo really does look exactly that beautiful as he does in photos, and actually even more so, except he’s doing it while living and breathing and glowing right in front of you. He’s so gorgeous. His features are very sharp and pronounced. There’s no mistaking him and his physique for anyone else’s. And as my seatmates would say, he’s really just so hot and walks like he’s the shit, which he really, really is.
Meanwhile, Mile has a smile that my friend describes as the “most genuine ever” which is a description I’m fully onboard with. He’s very pretty, much more handsome than even his photos would have you believe. I’m not sure how that’s possible. But he radiated so much happy energy, and was very attractive while doing so. He was just simultaneously laid back and yet the one person in the room you had to pay attention to the moment he decides it.
Their many, many moments together in the ending ment and even during Soundcheck. They would separate and then gravitate toward each other. I loved all of the guitar moments during Apo’s band solo, when he and Mile walked down the aisle in perfect replica of the rockstar guitarist with his vocalist muse. When Mile knelt down doing his guitar solo as Apo walked to the front of the stage and rocked out to the beat, it felt a little bit like he was paying homage. Then he sat by the side of the stage and interacted with fans while Apo worked the front.
The hand-off was already expected but no less cuter for it, when Mile willingly gave over his guitar to Apo even though he was perfectly capable of settling it in its stand himself. But are we going to complain about an iconic MileApo callback? No, we are not. Mile likes to remind us that only Apo gets to touch his precious things, and we are all here just to say, “Yes sir, noted sir.”
Mile’s This Love performance was so fun, the crowd was hyped singing along with him, and he spent a lot of time on the front stage rocking out! He moves so much like a dad, but like an attractive one? This is the weirdest combination I’ve ever had to write out. But it makes sense? I don’t think there’s any way to describe it? Any way his tone suits the song and I think he chose well. The guitars did sound a biiiit wayward without him there as well, which let me just say, he’s a really skilled guitarist and carries a lot of the technical moments on that instrument. The rest of the band are pretty good instrumentalists as well, they sounded quite solid. 
I can’t fail to mention Apo as an amazing crowd-worker. He matched the Manila crowd’s energy really well, and was very charismatic, whether speaking in English or in Thai. He knows how to initiate crowd moments and was just a very vibrant presence on the stage. Also he very much projects himself as the leader in a lot of things, I think I somehow expected Mile to do that, and was surprised to find it was the opposite.
There was a cute moment of Apo gravitating to Mile when Mile was about to throw out his guitar picks to the fans, they talked for a bit, Mile threw the pick, and then Apo gave him a light butt tap as he walked past him.
Also a cute moment when Apo made Mile dance with Jeff, and I did capture the part where Barcode and Tong piled onto the dancing as well, it was a fun quartet moment.
I just really want to say it was so great and affirming to be able to see them in person, performing their scenes again, and I really, really want more acting projects from them as a couple or on their own. I need it.
Wrap-up
When I came on show day, I was burnt out at the end of nearly three weeks of stressful work, averaging 3-4 hours of sleep daily, and barely recovered enough to be energetic in a 3-hour long concert. I was worried I wouldn’t enjoy it from feeling so miserable: I developed a migraine during Soundcheck, and then had the issue with my eyesight fritzing because of the lights. 
But the Manila concert crowd can buoy you straight out from hell. It was such an energetic, good-vibes bunch, where us and our seatmates enabled each other, screamed together, and just kept feeding off the surrounding energy. It was also great that they allowed some Gen Ad/Upper Box seats down to fill emptier seats in the middle, so you could really see the full strength of the crowd. I would estimate it at about 75 to 80% full, with the gaps really being in the weird upper corner sections. Overall, the experience was as fun as it was because of the crowd’s energy and incessant determination to support the cast in every way possible.
I loved being part of that crowd, and most of all, I loved watching the cast fall in love with it as well. I’ve never aspired to be a famous artist -- but I can imagine this is the vindication one feels, when they are recognized by so many, and see that much support being thrown at them. I’m happy we made them so happy. The entire time, they were clearly walking around half in disbelief, but managed to stay on task despite the frequent screaming.
You can see how hard they’ve worked to make the show as it is, to showcase everyone and interact with the fans as much as possible.
It was not without its hiccups: I have a major complaint regarding the translations. At some point I almost preferred there being no translations at all, because it sounded like bland dubbing in between their lines, and there were entire sections where the translations just... didn’t come, like in Nodt’s speech as Big, or when Mile was talking during his ending ment. I understand translating is hard work, maybe there were audio issues as well backstage. This is generally something that’s the producer’s responsibility. So hopefully Live Nation, if they ever produce another KinnPorsche show, makes it a better translating experience because it was a hiccup that wasn’t easy to overlook.
There were also quite a few sound and lighting issues, particularly in the opening of the show where we paused for a significant lull (5-10 mins). I’ve already talked about Live Nation’s timing with the Soundcheck, but they also had so many issues regarding the concert preparation.
Those aside, the cast and crew made the entire experience worth it. But I’d be remiss if I also didn’t mention the other international fans who joined us, and all of the fanclubs’ hard work putting together the ads around the city, the food and gift support, the photo booths, and the fan concert projects. The crowd was insane last night, and I felt very grateful to have been part of it all.
As I’m writing this, they’re already flying back to Thailand. I’m sad they didn’t get to go around more as quite a few of them wanted to. I hope they do get the opportunity, though, at least privately if it’s not as part of a public event. I really do look forward to seeing them again.
If you’ve reached the end, thank you for reading through all of the word vomit. And if you did also go to the Manila concert, do share your experience as well! Always great to hear the fans’ different perspectives. 
TL;DR 
KP cast member: *breathes*
KP Manila concert crowd: *INCOHERENT SCREAMING, LAUGHING, CRYING, LIGHTSTICK SHAKING*
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fuck-customers · 3 years ago
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Okay so I have a Karen story, but this one didn't even make me mad because it was so hilarious.
So these two teenage girls come in to return a mattress that their grandma gave them as a gift, they have their receipt, the mattress is in its box, and everything looks great so I go ahead and start processing the return. I scan their receipt to pull up the order, then scan the barcode on the box. Computer says item not on order. Strange. I scroll through the items on the computer and I see an item labeled "Mattress....$79.00" okay. Why isn't it ringing up. I look at the receipt to compare the UPC on the box to the one on the receipt and it doesn't match. However it does match an item that was rung up then voided off. I tell them as such and they're confused but not hostile, and I call my manager over to help me solve this. At first we'd told them that maybe it was accidentally stolen but then after looking at it a minute I figure out what happened.
So at my store if something doesn't ring up you can put it in by department by selecting a department and manually typing out the name and price of the item. Management has told us to never do this because it causes MASSIVE shrink. Well after talking to the girls a bit I learn it wasn't ringing up at the right price so their grandma had the cashier correct it, but instead of using our easy price override button, she rung it up as a by department which, as I said, was a no go. I knew immediately which cashier it was because I caught her doing it once and corrected her on it, but this transaction dated before that corrective action. So my manager and I have to resort to doing a no receipt return and put in the item manually (which required my managers override) but we had to give them a gift card since it was a no receipt over $10. The girls were fine with that if a bit upset, but went on with it.
This is where the Karen comes in. Maybe half an hour- 45 mins later I get a call from this old lady screaming at me, saying she paid cash so she wants cash, never giving me a chance to speak or explain, and says she's on her way to the store and I better have a manager ready and then just hangs up on me. The entire time I'm trying not to laugh, because Karen's just Don't Phase Me at this point, and I can hear subtle laughter in the background too.
Well Grandma Karen and the two girls get there later so I pull my manager out and it's just a huge back and forth between me Karen and my manager. The girls look embarrassed, horrified, and slightly amused all at the same time. Eventually my manager has a fuck it moment and decides we'll just cash out the gift card (which is something we rarely do) and Karen fucking says "oh I left it at home"
SIGH
Well we tell her we can give her cash til we have the gift card back so she goes home and sends the girls back in alone with it. They're apologizing for her and I'm feeling good vibes and tell them "oh I thought it was hilarious! I was wondering when I'd get my first Karen today!" And the girls just start LAUGHING THEIR ASSES OFF. Just saying "Oh my god we tried telling her she was being a Total Karen!!"
All in all everything got settled, I had a laugh, and we moved on.
Lesson: don't let Karen's bother you, they can be stressful in the moment but as soon as you learn to laugh at them life in retail becomes so much easier.
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