#just know i’ll have the karaoke clip on repeat for weeks

[moonylouwho]

thinking about 7x06 and how we’re gonna get hungover buddie trying to piece together the previous night

they’re gonna be such messes i cannot wait

[trashydemigodmess]

los angeles, 2015

“I can't feel my hеartbeat way up in the Hills. Burning down my mansion, didn't write a will. Front row at my funеreal, crocodile tears. Came here for the weekend, but I haven't left in years. (Is that weird?)” - tired of california, nessa barrett

tw: brief, non-detailed mentions of drugs & throwing up

The small mansion on the cliffs of Beverly Hills was buzzing with activity. Cars lined up the street, and a rotating lineup of Ubers were dropping people at the front door. Loud music poured out of every corner above the noise. Grace stepped around a couple of awestruck girls, doing her best to not roll her eyes as they hovered in the doorway. What a privilege, somehow knowing the right friend of a friend to get invited to one of Dex Finley’s house parties.

It was like clockwork: his dad would go out of town for a few days for work. Dex would throw a party. Fill the place with an A-list of Hollywood teen socialites. Spend a lot of money to expertly cover up all the evidence. Repeat.

Grace wove through clusters of people. Colored lights pulsed to the bass of the music, already rattling her skull. The dining table had turned into a beer pong tournament. Someone was standing on the coffee table, doing karaoke for a small crowd. Others were doing lines off the kitchen island. The distinct crash of someone cannonballing into the infinity pool. Some people waved her down, most didn’t give her a second glance. ‘The personality of a wet towel’, if she remembered correctly, were the words Dex’s so-called friends once described her as. 

“Grace!” An excited chirp came from the other side of the room. Ella was perched on a windowsill, the solo cup in her hand perfectly matching the color of her Hervé Léger bandage dress. In a sea of cutoff shorts and bandeau tops she stood out like a neon light. Like it was on purpose.

“How are you, darling?” Ella reached out to pull Grace into a casual half-hug. When Dex called someone darling it came off as warm and endearing. When Ella used it, in her clipped, British accent, it felt like a formality. “Want me to get you a drink?”

Ella was tiny. Sleek, dark chocolate hair and matching sultry eyes, but the brightest grin that made anyone feel seen and welcome. And a voice that deserved to be on Broadway, not wasted on Disney Channel movies or walking Paris Fashion Week. 

Grace waved her hand, “Nah, I’m good for now.” It was funny how the world so desperately wanted them to hate each other. She leaned on the windowsill beside her, “‘Where’s your boyfriend?” “I think he was feeling sick, so he ran upstairs.” She pouted, “Poor thing. He was so excited to do karaoke.”

Grace wasn’t a fan of the dismissive tone. She knew better. ‘Running upstairs’ for Dex could mean so many things, and the range of fine to terrible was too broad for her to feel comfortable about it. “Have you checked on him at all?”

Ella glanced at the rager happening around them, as if that was explanation enough. “Someone has to hold down the fort here.”

It didn’t look like much was being held down from where she lounged against the window. Normally, Grace would’ve responded with a similarly easy and kind response. But tonight her patience was thin. “Right.” She sucked in a quick breath and continued, “I’ll go poke around and check on him if I can.”

Grace hopped up the staircase two at a time. The mansion was all bright, white walls and open spaces, but the hallways still felt winding and secluded. By the time she got to Dex’s bedroom the party goers had thinned out to no one. The door was locked. She knocked once. Twice. Again.

“For fucks sake,” Grace sighed, “Dex—“ She pounded on the door this time, loud and assertive, “Open the door. It’s me.”

Finally, the door yanked open, just a crack.

Dex’s face was slightly paled, eyes bleary and dilated, and from the hazy look on his face, very, very drunk. “Why are you yelling?” He hissed like there wasn’t a house party happening beneath them.

“No one knew where you were,” She hissed back, forcing herself inside and locking the door behind her. The room was sterile and fairly boring. Floor to ceiling windows across from the bed looked out on the sprawling Hills. All of the lights were off, the natural light of the glittering city below the valley reflecting off the walls. If it weren’t for the random personal items scattered about—a guitar resting against the wall, some laundry on the floor, a lone shelf of plaques and awards—no one would even know this was his bedroom. Effortless, but cold and empty. The same energy that radiated off her friend in front of her. “I came to see if you needed help while you spewed your guts out.” 

A dark grin grew across his face as he snorted a laugh, “Sometimes I worry you planted a chip in my brain or somethin’,” He’d stopped bleaching his hair once their show had wrapped. At the time it made him look striking. Older, more mature. Now, after a tour that almost destroyed him, all the light brown did was accentuate the bags under his eyes, make his usually golden skin look dull and pale. Swaying a bit as he moved back towards the en-suite bathroom, still grinning, Dex tossed a finger gun at her, “You know me too well.”

Grace sat on the cold, marble floor as international popstar and teen heartthrob Dex Finley violently puked into the toilet beside her.

A few minutes later they were laying on his bed, waiting for Dex’s head to stop spinning. The echoes of the bass crept through the floor. She could tell he was holding something back. It poked at the corners of his mouth, glinted in his eyes. Eventually, he rolled over to face her,

“Oh, Gracie Lee, I did something veeeeeery bad.” Dex whispered loudly, smiling like it was an exciting little secret.

She quirked an eyebrow. This too, could mean so many things. “You got very drunk and popped a Molly?”

He laughed. “Oh, darlin’, that’s just a Saturday night.” It was with eager, drunken carelessness that he smiled, “I came up here becauuuuse…I was doing some things I shouldn’t with a very cute boy.”

Grace blinked, doing her best to keep her expression neutral. Those certainly weren’t words she’d ever heard him utter before. “…What?”

“I think he thought I made up being sick as an excuse. Like I was scared or something.” He huffed, annoyed as he rolled onto his back, folding his arms, “So he left.” There was an odd, genuine hurt on his face. “Dumbass. It’s not my fault that Hailey dared me to shotgun a Four Loko.”

Grace was trying to take in the story one piece at a time, but it was hard to digest when alarms were blaring in her head and she wanted to hug him at the same time. “Have you…ever done that before?”

“Shotgunned a Four Loko? Or messed around with a boy?” Dex raised an eyebrow, smiling. But when Grace didn’t laugh, he caved, face falling once again. “No.” He confessed, going back to staring at the ceiling. His voice softened, “I’ve only kissed like, two. Ever.” Even that felt like a heavy statement, something that’d been weighing him down for far too long. “I know I should’ve told you. But I don’t even know—” He waved his hands around in a confused manner, “—What this is.” Grace doubted he’d speak this candidly sober. It almost felt like she was intruding. “But…” He whispered, after a contemplative moment, “I really liked it.”

Grace felt the air exhale from her lungs, the room now eerily quiet. She reached over and pulled him into a hug. He groaned a bit, stomach probably still lurching. “You don’t have to know what it is. I’m just happy that you trust me enough to share.” Grace let go of the hug and propped her head up on her hand, “And if you want to talk about it more tomorrow we can.” 

That was the easy part. Now, the alarm bells. “I just—you’re saying that you…cheated?” The word made her cringe a bit, “On your girlfriend who is…in this house right now?”

She knew it was the wrong question the moment Dex rolled his eyes. Just as quickly as he’d gotten shy and sentimental, he was back to careless arrogance, “Does it really count as cheating if it’s with a guy?”

“Um, yeah—“

His entire face changed in an instant. The pent up years of anger and stress always churned just beneath the surface of his skin. But it was moments like this where it began to boil a bit too hot. She’d seen it before. Messy, drunken ease becoming a ravaging hurricane. The threat of a show-stopping tantrum. He sat up, glaring, “I thought you’re on my side.” Dex snapped. 

“I am, but—“

“I share this deep, dark secret with you and all you care about is what Ella will think?” He stood, saying her name like it was a curse.

“No, that’s not what—”

“Uh-huh.” He refused to let her finish, his large stature looming over her like a threat. “God, was she the one who fucking sent you up here? To spy on me?”

This time Grace didn’t even get to attempt sliding a word in. “She’s been cheating on me and thinks I don’t know about it.” Dex began pacing. His energy took up the entire room. It pressed against the walls, suffocating the sound. Bitter, furious. A God at seventeen who got everything he wanted, unsatisfied and grasping for whatever he had left. “That stupid bitch. She won’t even let me get even. I hate her guts.”

Grace’s heart had started to race a bit. But she refused to let it get the best of her. Instead, she stood to meet him. Dex was flexing and closing his hands, his broad shoulders tense with anger, like he wanted to throw something, or scream at the top of his lungs. 

Her words were steady. “Why don’t you break up with her?”

He turned, finally stopping his pacing. It was with alarming clarity that he spoke, like it was obvious. “Because I love her.”

The words were so genuine, it scared her more than the erratic anger bleeding out of him. Grace felt her breath catch in her throat. “That’s not how love is supposed to be, Dex.”

Thankfully, it was just a football. But with the force that Dex threw it, it was with a startling crash that it collided with the wall, knocking a picture to the ground. She jumped.

“Oh my god, Grace, shut up. Shut up, shut up!” He yelled, finally succumbing to the hurricane. “If I have to hear one more lame fucking pep talk I’m going to throw myself out a window. Jesus Christ. Grow up!” He marched up to her, every step intentional. He knew how big he was, how he towered over her. He was sneering, “How the fuck would you know? You’re a fucking virgin, whose only ever been kissed by me, on a fucking tv show. You don’t get to tell me how to live my life.”

Dex always kept a water bottle on his bedside table. One of those stupid, bro-y gatorade ones. She didn’t even have to look. Grace grabbed it and sprayed it directly into his face. The startled noise that came out of him was satisfying enough. 

“Fuck you, Dex,” Grace finally snapped. She may have been smaller, but she stood up to him with the same amount of confidence. “Fuck you. You’re high as shit right now and I’m the only person who even cared to come up here and check on you. Ella didn’t give a shit where you were. Which is fucked up and you deserve better.” She was so angry her hands were shaking. “I’m always looking out for you, even when it puts my own fucking reputation on the line. So you don’t get to be a bitch to me for trying to help you.”

Water dripped down Dex’s eyelashes and chin, soaking his shirt, gaping. “Well no one asked you to do that!”

“You’re my best friend! Do you just expect me to sit around and watch you set your entire life on fire?”

He opened his mouth to say something, then retracted it, most of the fury evaporating instantly. And in that moment, Grace realized he was about to say yes. Everyone else in his life had.

“Just…go take a shower or something.” She sighed, “You smell like vomit.”

His nostrils flared, but he didn’t say no. Without a word, Dex walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

When he returned ten minutes later, Grace was still sitting on his bed. He blinked in surprise. Wordlessly, Dex walked over to his closet and found a black tee, sliding it on and exchanging his basketball shorts for jeans. His hair was wet, but he simply put a hat over it, turning it backwards.

He looked better. Still drunk, but better. Dex sat down beside her on the bed.

“I’m sorry.” He finally relented.

“I know.” 

“I’m so drunk.”

“I know.”

“I’m really sorry.”

Grace sighed once more, this time pulling him into a hug. Dex held on tight, pressing his face into the crook of her neck. Like he needed it.

“You brought your stuff, right?” He sniffled as he sat back up again.

“Of course I did.” The duffle bag in her car she’d toss into one of the guest rooms later tonight, sleeping over and making eggs in the morning, helping Dex clear up the evidence that this party even happened. “I’m not going to sabotage our routine just because you threw a fit.”

He smiled a bit. Appreciative.

“Do you want to go back out there?” She asked, “Or we can just stay in here and pray everybody gets bored and leaves.”

“Oh, Gracie Lee,” Dex rolled his head over to look at her, already coming back to his usual mood, “You know I have to go back.”

“No, you don’t.” 

He hopped off the bed and offered his hands out to help her up as well, “You gotta rally and join me.” 

Why Dex had a bottle of Tequila hidden in his room was a problem for another day. Grace had taken a shot as he requested, and they now stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at the party below.

Dex relaxed his shoulders and stood a bit taller. In one breath, he seemed to exhale all of what had just happened out of him. He blinked, and he was charming, fun-loving, golden boy Dex again. He gave Grace one last glance before hopping down the stairs.

The party greeted him like an old friend. Parting like the Red Sea to bring him back to his red hot girlfriend, perched on the edge of a sofa. Dex threw himself around her, Ella squealing in delight as they fell backwards onto the couch. The desperate way they grabbed at each other while they kissed felt like an omen. All of this, Grace worried, still standing at the top of the stairs, felt like an omen. Hanging by a thread, destined to break into a million little pieces.

[bluezey]

Inside Onward - Risky Business

Part four of the Onward/Inside Out crossover.  I’m starting to feel a little better about this.  There’s more moments where we see it’s not going to be a point by point rehash of the Onward plot (though it kinda is) and the other emotions besides Fear get some time to shine.  So I’m sure there’s some typos and she/her pronouns in there to piss me off a bit.

I’ll try to get the next chapter up this weekend, but if not, week after.

Fear was eyeing a purple orb that just rolled into short term memory, inside was the image of the page from the Quests of Yore book displaying how to cast a levitation spell. Mumbling under his breath as he read it to himself, Fear quickly began jotting down the important notes on the page, ignoring what looked like board game information such as dice rolls.

Sadness looked over his shoulder at what Fear was doing.  “I don’t know why you’re making notes for yourself.  We can just recall this memory if we want Ian to remember it.”

“I just want to be safe,” Fear stated, clicking the pen closed before slipping it in his back pocket with his notebook.  “We need to be sure Ian can recall it quickly.”

“Recall what?” Anger commented, sitting on the couch with his arms crossed.  “Some stupid page from a game manual?”

“Yeah, this is ridiculous and pointless,” Disgust added, sitting on the couch as well, both his arms and legs crossed.

“Look, I think this is crazy too, but if Ian wants to try it,” Fear told them, pointing to the Islands of Personality, “then we should give it a chance.”  Fear cleared his throat and straightened his posture before walking up to Joy at the console.  “How’s Ian doing, Joy?”

“Oh, great!  Just great!” Joy chimed.

Fear smiled.  “Oh, so he figured out the spell?”

“Uh… not yet,” Joy replied, his smile wavering.

Fear’s face fell. “Hm, let me give it a try.”  Fear stepped in, then checked his notes real quick. “Says here to cast the spell Ian has to aimeth- aimeth?” Fear shook his head and tried to ignore the olde style talk. “Aim the staff at the target and say ‘Aloft Elevar.’”  Fear looked up puzzled.  “That- that didn’t… that sounds right, right?”  Joy nodded, Sadness shrugged, while Fear took the controls.

Ian was in the passenger swivel chair, facing towards the back of the van.  He had his staff in both hands, pointing it towards an empty soda can lying on the floor of the van.  “Aloft Elevar… Aloft Elevar…” Ian repeated the phrase a few more times, but nothing happened.  No reaction from the staff or the soda can.  

Fear tried the command a few more times, but after a few more failures, he just dropped his head and sighed.

“Maybe he’s saying it wrong,” Disgust teased sarcastically.

“Or… maybe Ian can try another spell,” Joy suggested.

Fear nodded, “Yeah… yeah,” Fear convinced himself.

Ian sighed in defeat. “I can’t get this spell to work. Maybe I should try something else, like…”  Ian flipped further into the guide book.  “… Arcane Lightning?”

Barley laughed.  “Yeah, like a level one mage can master the hardest spell in the enchanter’s guidebook.”  Barley casually flipped back to the levitation spell.  “Let’s stay on the easy ones.”

“But, it’s not working,” Ian replied.  “Am I saying it right?”

“You did,” Barley explained. “What you need is to speak from your Heart’s Fire.”

“His wha?” Joy asked aloud, with the emotions just as dumbfounded.

“My what?” Ian asked.

“Your Heart’s Fire,” Barley explained boldly.  “With passion, with courage.  Don’t hold back.”

Fear slowly went wide eyed as his fingers slid off the controls.  “uhhhhh…..”  Passion? Courage?  How is he supposed to be any of those things?

“Passion. Courage.  Oh!  Anger!” Joy exclaimed.

Anger waved his arms. “Oh no no no.  You’re not going to rope me into this crud.”

Fear sighed, both in relief and because he was out of ideas.  “Come on, Anger.  For Ian.”

After a brief pause and glare, Anger hopped off the couch and stormed up to the console.  He placed his thick red palms on the levers and pushed them forward.

“Aloft elevar!” Ian exclaimed, trying to focus on being confident.

“No.”  Barley shouted with dramatic boldness.  “Aloft elevar!”

“Aloft elevar!” Ian shouted.

“Don’t hold back!” Barley instructed.

“Aloft elevar!”

“Aloft elevar!”

Fear kept snapping his head from the screen to Anger and back again, back and forth back and forth. Anger was growing more frustrated, pushing the lever further and harder.  Ian was growing more frustrated, more angry, the more he tried, the more Anger pushed him.  Anger began to give that low growl he gives before he blows up in rage, causing that shivering feeling to rise up Fear’s spine.

“Heart’s fire!” Barley exclaimed.

“Stop saying Heart’s Fire!!” Ian threw off his seat belt and stormed across the back of the van.  He slumped onto the bench, slipping his hands under his arms.

Meanwhile, Fear was hunched over the console with his arms out, and Anger shoved onto the floor. All Fear could do was stare blankly and worried at the other emotions, as the emotions stared right back. Disgust eventually sighed and slapped his hand to his forehead.

A moment of silence lingered through the van before Barley turned and told Ian softly and encouragingly, “Hey, it was a nice try.”

Ian just slumped further, looking down at his feet, ashamed of himself.

“Fear,” Joy finally spoke up, gently.  “What was that?”

Fear tried to stand up and collect himself.  “Uh, what was what?”

“You pushed Anger,” Sadness replied.

“We all saw it,” Disgust snapped.

Anger jumped back into his feet and stormed up to Fear, pointing his stubby finger in Fear’s face. “What has gotten into you??”

Fear held up his hands and backed away in fright.  “Ah, me, I dunno-“

The emotions were interrupted by Barley’s booming voice echoing through headquarters.  “Ah ha, brace yourselves, Lightfoot men.”

“We’ll discuss it later,” Joy said quickly.  “To the console.”

“Yeah!  The console!” Fear exclaimed, just glad the focus was off of him.  He stood at the console with the others, standing close to Joy and away from Anger and Disgust with their judgmental stares.

The van pulled up to an old tavern, looking decrepit and unwelcoming as it was cast in the shadows of the night.  The building looked towering, almost threatening, nearly engulfing in the Lightfoot brother’s presence.

Barley parked the van by the entrance.  “The Manticore’s Tavern,” he proclaimed.

Fear swallowed his fears, but they just rolled right back up his throat.

“Uh, guys?” Sadness realized, pointing to Dad in the back of the van.  “How are we going to keep an eye on Dad?  He can’t see where we’re going.”

“Whatever we do, it can’t be conspicuous,” Disgust suggested.

The emotions paused for a brief second in thought, but it was Joy who caught sight of Blazey’s retractable leash in a corner of the van.  Immediately, Joy ran off, snagged an idea bulb off a shelf, and ran back.

Ian ended up walking up the dirt path towards the tavern, retractable leash in hand, with the leash clipped to Dad’s belt.  “Come on, Dad.  This way,” Ian whispered.

Disgust eyed the screen in flat disbelief.  “Great idea, Joy,” he said sarcastically.  “Not conspicuous at all.”

“Thanks,” Joy brimmed with happiness.

Barley led the way up to the mighty oaken doors of the tavern.  “Oaky, first, let me do the talking.  Second, you must give the Manticore the respect she deserves.  Or, third, she won’t give us a map to the Pheonix gem.”

“A map?” Ian asked. “I thought she had the Pheonix gem.”

“Oh, you’re cute,” Barley chuckled.  “See dad, he’s a smart kid, he just doesn’t know how quests work.”

Joy covered his mouth and giggled at Barley’s comment, while the other emotions were just growing more aggravated with him.

“Well, is there anything else I should know about?” Ian asked.

To which Barley replied, “Uh, no?” before opening the doors.

The tavern inside looked like the complete opposite of its threatening, foreboding outside.  Every single inch was brightly lit and welcoming. Families filled the clean booths, enjoying modern day eats like burgers and nachos.  At a large table was a group enjoying a birthday cake for a happy little five year old.

Even Joy dropped his hands and groaned at the sight.  “Are you kidding me?”

“I know,” Fear muttered, strictly dumbfounded.

“Exactly!” Joy pointed to the birthday party.  “You can’t have birthday cake without ice cream!”

The emotions just turned their heads to Joy in disbelief.

All the while, Ian was turning his head to Barley in disbelief.  Barley glanced back and explained with a shrug, “Okay, so the place has changed over the years.  But the Manticore is the real deal.”

Ian followed Barley into the tavern, or, restaurant, Dad following behind as he was tugged by the leash. Ian looked around, eyeing some more modern appeals such as arcade games, appetizers and karaoke.  All the while, he was getting this weird feeling creeping up from the back of his head.

The emotions stared at this screen, getting this weird vibe from the place.  “Uh, anyone notice this place looks… familiar?” Fear thought aloud.

“Yeah, I’m getting that feeling too,” Disgust mused.

“Have we been here before?” Sadness asked.

“I don’t think so,” Anger shrugged.

“Hm, weird,” Joy hummed before keying a few buttons on the console.  “Let me see if I can locate some memories…”

Barley caught sight of a hostess who wasn’t busy with a customer.  “Excuse me, madam,” he proclaimed in a low, serious voice, accented with his acting.  “I request presence, with the Manticore.”

“But of course, my lord!” The waitress blew into a toy horn she unsheathed from her waitressing apron.  “Oh, Manticore!” she called out in a sing song tone.

A big, puffy, happy, cartoony mascot of a Manticore looking character costume hopped out from the employee entrance into the dining room.  The mascot was acting silly and peppy, but Ian was stepping back, but not sure why this thing was giving him the creeps.

The other emotions jumped back from the console in fright as Joy’s eyes lit up in realization.  “Oh, I remember now!” she proclaimed as she typed in a command, calling a repressed memory.  A memory orb dropped from the recall tube and into the projector, the memory was faded a darkened gray, but still had a glint of purple shining through it. Onscreen, the memory played a grayscale colored memory of a two year old Ian crying his frightened little heart out while clinging to his mom.  It appeared to be an old, forgotten memory Ian’s toddler years, of Laurel, Barley and Ian in a booth at the same Tavern, with Laurel apologizing to the staff while trying to calm down the traumatized Ian, still frightened of the Manticore mascot who was trying his best to cheer up the child, but unknowingly making things worse.

Fear screamed the loudest of all the other emotions as he dove for the console, smacking the buttons to return the memory from where it came.  The memory was vaccumed back up into the tube, and now onscreen was the current sight of the mascot attempting to happily hug Ian, who was trying his best to scramble away.  Disgust and Anger took controls, trying to help Ian escape.

Fear glared at Joy, the happy emotion could only sheepishly smile with his hands innocently behind his back.  “Never. Recall that.  Again.” Fear scowled.  “Ever.”

“No, no, the real Manticore,” Barley clarified to the waitress, once he helped Ian become freed from the mascot.  “You know, the famous warrior?”

The waitress dropped her acting façade and spoke in her normal tone.  “Oh, you mean Corey?  She’s over there,” motioning to the kitchen.

That very second, the kitchen doors swung open.  Busting through was a large, powerful beast, with the make of a lion, the tail of a scorpion, and the mighty wings much like a dragon.  The beast herself, however, had a personality tamed down to an underpaid restaurant manager remaining calm during a panic attack brought upon by a busy dinner rush.  “I need help!” she called out to any coworkers within earshot.  “These griffin nuggets were supposed to go out minutes ago!”

The emotions just stared unimpressed at the Manticore, watching the coworkers take each plate off of her hands.

“That’s the Manticore?” Ian asked, equally unimpressed.

Barley was still impressed, still seeing the legendary adventurer hidden behind her ponytailed mane and back paws stuffed inside high heeled shoes.  He knelt down in great humility, removing his beanie in her presence. “Oh great and powerful Manticore…”

The Manticore nearly tripped over Barley and stepped back in surprise.  “Woah, sir, you’re right in the hot zone.”

Barley raised his head. “Manticore,” he humbly begged. “We need a map to the Phoenix gem.”

“Oh, well then you’ve come to the right tavern,” the Manticore smiled, making her way to the hostess podium. “I have the exact parchment you’ve been searching for.  Behold!” she proclaimed, showing them a pristine piece of paper.

The emotions leaned in, unsure of what they’re seeing is real.  “You have got to be kidding me,” Disgust said sourly.

“Oh, that’s a children’s menu,” Ian commented, eyeing the placemat.

“Ain’t it cute? They’re based off my old maps,” the Manticore continued, tossing a tiny box at the brothers.  “Uh, the Manticore gives you fellow warriors a hero’s blessing, and here’s some crayons.”

“Uhm, that’s very funny, miss Manticore,” Barley asked, “but do you have the real map?”

Distracted with more orders, the Manticore offhandedly replied, “Oh, yeah, it’s over there.”

The Lightfoot brothers looked over to a wall displaying the remaining relics belonging to the Manticore. Displayed dead center was a centuries old map.  “Perfect!” Barley ran up and grabbed the map.

The Manticore immediately grabbed it back.  “Woah woah woah, you guys can’t take this.”

“I’m afraid we have to.” Barley took off the fake top half, revealing the lower living half of their dad to the Manticore.

The Manticore gasped. “What is that?”

“That is our dad,” Ian explained, quickly placing the disguise back on.  “We have to meet him, but-“

“But, we need a Phoenix gem,” Barley finished for Ian.

 “No!  My days of sending adventurers on quests are done!” Manticore argued.

Barley was shocked. “What?  Why?”

“Because, they’re dangerous,” the Manticore replied.

“Corey?” a hostess called out to the Manticore.  “The karaoke machine is broken again.”

The Manticore sighed in frustration.  “I’m sorry, but you two are not getting this map,” she quietly told the brothers before busying herself with the karaoke machine.

Fear turned to Barley, quietly thinking what to do, then back to the Manticore, still in possession of the map.

“Ugh, this is a complete waste of time,” Disgust sighed.

“Time we don’t have,” Fear added, placing his hands under his arms.

“Okay, think think think,” Joy thought aloud, tapping the side of his head with his fingers.  “How would we get the map if we were adventurers?”

“But we’re not,” Sadness corrected.

“But if we were.”  Joy hummed in thought before she perked up with an idea.  “Aha! Remember the Heart’s Fire thing? Passion?  Courage?  We just need to be bold.”

“But we’re not,” Fear replied.

“But we can be,” Joy corrected.

“But I- I mean, we’re not,” Fear reiterated.

“Think about it,” Joy encouraged them.  “If wizards are bold, and dad was bold, maybe Ian can be bold.  Anger’s pretty bold, let him try.”

Fear shook his head. “No no no.  That ended in a disaster, remember?”

Anger glared at Fear, clenching his fists.  “What did you say…?”

Fear squeezed his sides before letting his hands slip out from under his arms.  He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to calm himself.  “Okay… be bold… like dad… just… be bold…” Fear placed his shaking hands on the console.

Ian gathered up what little courage he had and quietly approached the Manticore.  “Miss Manticore… ma’am?”

“Look, kid,” the Manticore said, messing with the karaoke machine, “this is not a good time.”

“It’s just,” Ian tried to continue, “I’ve never met my dad, and-“

“Look, I’m sorry about your dad,” she interrupted, beginning to grow frustrated, “but if you get hurt on my quest, guess who gets sued and loses her tavern?  I can’t take that kind of risk.  Now if you excuse me, I have important things to do.”  The Manticore went to busying herself by checking the microphone.

While Fear tried to help Ian, and failing, Anger stood there, his glaring gaze snapping between Fear and the Manticore.  The more the futile argument continued, the more Anger grew madder, hotter, stewing in his own rage at what Fear dared to say about him.

“Please,” Ian practically begged. “We need that map.”

The Manticore practically slapped Ian’s hand away as she pulled the map away.  “No.  I am not giving you this map.  I am done talking.”

“That’s it!”  Anger punched Fear in the back, sending him flying and slamming against a wall.  Anger grabbed the levers and shoved them forward with all his might.  He screamed at the top of his lungs, his fuming head erupted into roaring flames, his blue curls flickering and dancing within the fire, thankfully immune to the heat and burn.

“Well… well I’m not!” Ian snapped, planting his wizard staff into the ground.

“Woah, wait a minute,” Barley was only able to say, surprised to see Ian like this, especially to such beasts as the Manticore, or any beast for that matter.

“You said you can’t risk losing this tavern!” Ian continued on his anger fueled rant.  He turn noticed an aged, framed painting of the Manticore back in her prime and pointed straight at it.  “Look at that Manticore!  She looked like she lived to take risks!”

“That Manticore didn’t have investors to look out for!” the Manticore shouted back.  “She didn’t have payroll!  She could just fly out the door whenever she wished and slay a magma beast!”

Fear was just collecting himself from being thrown against the wall.  He shook the daze out of his head with a grumble, looking up at Joy and Sadness, checking if he was okay.  “Ian… Ian.  Anger!” Fear raced over to the console.  “Anger, what did you do?”

“My job!” Anger shouted, the flames from his head beginning to subside, along with his hair folding back into barely controlled curls.

Fear shivered with fright, realizing what those flames meant.  “Oh no, you got Ian mad at the Manticore?”

“So?  She’s nothing!” Anger yelled.  “She’s a pushover!  A complete and utter pussycat!”

Joy tried to pull Anger away.  “Okay everyone, let’s just calm down before we make Ian say something we’ll regret.”

“Get off of me!!” Anger shouted at Joy.

The Manticore continued her rant.  “So what if this place isn’t as adventurous as it used to be?  So it isn’t filled with a band of motley horde raring to risk life and limb for a mere taste of excitement?  But so what?  Who says you have to take risks in life to have an adventure?”

Through the struggles and arguing, Fear managed to wrangle control of the console again.  But before he could even touch it, he froze as the Manticore was asking that very question straight at Ian.  He was at a loss, not sure what to say to that.  He looked around in a panic, before catching sight of something barely behind the Manticore’s wing.  Nervously, he placed a trembling finger on a tiny button.

Barley able to raise a finger, Ian replied in quiet fear, “Apparently… you did?”

The Manticore turned to where the elf boy’s slender finger was pointing.  Behind her, above the framed, proud painting of her fierce, younger self, garbed in strong armor, was a quote etched into a gold plaque:  You must take risks in life to have an adventure – The Manticore.

It as if a hard stone club of reality hit the Manticore upside the head.  “What have I done?”

“Uh, but it’s not too late,” Ian quickly tried to say.  “If you can give us the map-“

The Manticore couldn’t hear Ian over the existential spiral she was stuck in.  She looked over her old tavern, buried in so much fluff and gawdiness that it was a foreign building to her now.  “This place used to be dangerous…. And wild… I used to be dangerous and wild…” A small growl rose from her throat, turning her gaze to the mascot that just happened to be walking by that very moment.  The beast pounced on the innocent soul in the costume, pinning him to the ground and tearing the mascot’s head off in a blind rage. The patrons gasped, the employees in shock, Barley pulled Ian away.

“I’ve been living a lie!” the Manticore roared.  “What have I become?”  Upon instinct, the Manticore roared a mighty, beastly fuming roar, as flames shot out of her mighty maw burning the plush costume’s head to a crisp.

“Ohh, no,” Barley gasped.

“Guys,” Fear whimpered. “That’s not a pussycat.”

The Manticore threw the smoldering head aside, letting it land wherever, which just happened to be a random table.  “Everybody out!” she demanded to the entire building!  This place is closed for remodeling!” she unsheathed her sharp claws and gave a loud, angry roar that echoed through the wooden rafters.

The patrons and employees scattered, evacuating the building for their dear lives as the Manticore continued her rampage.  The Lighfoot brothers grabbed their dad and hid under a table for safety, just as they realized the building was quickly building into a blaze as the burning mascot head started a fire.  As the Manticore destroyed a plastered wall and pounced away, Ian caught sight of the map falling from her grasp… and immediately burning from the intense heat.

“No!!” Fear pushed the levers forward.

Ian raced towards the map and tried to snuff out the flame, but it quickly ate up the parchment and turned it to ashes fluttering from his fingertips.  “No…”

“We gotta go!” Barley shouted as he grabbed Ian and Dad, helping the three raced to the exit before the fire trapped them inside.

Fear was in a flurry over the controls, helping Ian run as fast as he can out of the dangerous inferno. He tried to focus through the flames and ignore the sound of the emotions yelling, directing him where to go.

But one voice shattered his concentration.  “Dad!!” Joy shouted, pointing out that the fake torso the brothers were carrying didn’t have legs.

“What??” Fear pulled the levers back.  “Where did he go??”

“There!” Disgust pointed to a pair of legs, trying to climb to his feet after recently falling.

Before Fear could catch his breath, he heard a loud fiery crack of wood from the ceiling above. The emotions gasped as the saw a rafter above dad bend sharply downward.  Just as it collapsed, Fear dove onto the console, slamming his hands down on a few precise keys.

“Aloft elevar!!” Ian shouted, aiming the wizard staff at the falling debris.  Within an instant, the flaming beam froze, encased in a glistening aura.

The emotions were in a silent awe as the console Fear was lying atop of was glowing in a mystical beaming light, much similar to the light keeping the beam above the ground.  Joy saw as Fear began to struggle, his arms shaking weakly.  “No no no, hold, hold it!!  You’re doing it, Fear!!  You can do this!!”

Barley ran quickly and grabbed Dad, immediately turning back and racing to the exit.  Just as soon as the area was clear, Ian pulled the staff back, letting the beam fall as he raced out of the building.  The Lightfoot brothers disappeared into the chaotic crowd of confusion and panic, climbed into the van after helping Dad inside, and sped off into the night.

Fear was slumped over onto his knees, trying to catch his breath and his thoughts.  Joy and Disgust dragged Fear’s limp body across the floor and propped him onto the couch.  As his bearings slowly returned, Fear looked up, glancing from one emotion to the other. “What… did I…” he panted.  “… what I do?”

“You did it!!” Joy cheered, leaping onto Fear and clutching him into a big congratulatory hug.

Fear was still kind of dazed as he held onto Joy.  “What did I do?”

“You did the levitation thing!” Disgust clarified.  “The aloft spell!  The beam- it was just floating in midair!  And you- and the console!  I never seen it light up like that before!”

“I couldn’t believe it worked!” Anger shouted in awe, smiling at Disgust, still in a bit of disbelief.

Disgust smiled back, no longer doubting what just happened.  “I know!  I couldn’t believe it either!”

It was as if the cogs in Fear’s head were finally turning.  “I… helped Ian?”

“You did more than help!” Joy exclaimed straight into Fear’s face.  “You had Ian do the levitation spell!  Ian’s a wizard, Fear!  Our Ian is a wizard!”  Joy ran off, going to hug Anger and Disgust in a group hug, before racing over to Sadness at the console.

A small smile emerged from Fear’s face, trembling at first, but calming as he finally rose to his feet. He walked back to the console, taking Sadness’s spot as Joy spun the melancholy emotion into a big hug.  As the others calmed down from their celebrating, Fear placed his hands on the console, looking up at Ian, brimming with pride.

Barley was in the driver’s seat, fueled with overwhelming excitement from what he just saw.  “And that beam was just floating there!  My brother is a wizard!!”

Ian was hunkered down in the back of the van, finally collecting himself.  “I can’t believe that worked,” he gasped in amazement.

“Oh, you are going to nail Dad’s spell now!” Barley told Ian, brimming with pride for his little brother.

Fear’s face suddenly fell, his hands beginning to grasp control of the console.  “No no no, this isn’t right.”

“What are you talking about?” Joy asked Fear, still high off her own excitement.  “Ian did the thing!”

“But the map!” Fear snapped back in worry before looking back at the controls.

Joy gasped.  “Oh no, the map.”

“It burned up in the fire,” Sadness cried.

“Did anyone get a good look at the map?” Disgust asked.  “Did anybody make a memory of it?”

“No,” Sadness sniffled, as the other emotions shook their heads.

Ian sat down in the passenger seat.  “But, we don’t have a map.”

Barley reached into his denim vest as he replied, “But we do have this.  Behold!”  Barley pulled a crayon colored kids placemat out from his vest.

The emotions flatly stared at the screen.  “By Faldar’s horn,” Disgust groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead.

“I could strangle him right now!” Anger snapped.

“Look, on a quest, you have to use what you got,” Barley explained to Ian, as Ian just glared at Barley, “and this is what we got.  And, little Kayla here solved the puzzle.”  Barley showed off the scrambled word puzzle at the bottom of the placemat, completed in crayon.

Ian took the placemat and explained sarcastically, “Well according to Kayla, we just have to go to… Raven’s Point.”

Disgust slowly pulled his fingers off the buttons as a realization washed over him.  “Raven’s Point… that sounds familiar.”

Sadness was already at the bookshelves, pulling out an atlas of star maps and their adjacent maps to the earth on specific times of the year.  His little blue fingers flipped through the various maps of the world before he found the one where New Mushroomton is located.  He then turned the map to the other emotions and pointed to a mountain range north of New Mushroomton, specifically to a mountain named Raven’s Point.

“Now Ian needs a map,” Fear told the other emotions.  “Get Ian to the glove box.  There must be a map in the van’s glove box!”  Before any of the emotions could take control, Fear was already taking over at the console.

Ian fished through the many, many parking tickets in the glove box before finding a map.  On the south side of the map was New Mushroomton. To the north, the mountains, including, “Raven’s Point.”

“Yes,” Barley smiled, glad they got their destination.  “We should be there by tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow morning?” Ian asked, worried about how little time they have.

“That gives us plenty of time with dad,” Barley assured his little brother.

Fear thought aloud, “I guess twelve hours is better than nothing.”

“That’s the spirit!” Joy told Fear.

Ian took another look at the map as Barley stopped at a red light.  “Looks like the quickest way there is to take the expressway.”

“Uh, the expressway’s a little too obvious,” Barley suggested.  “On a quest, the clear path isn’t always the right one.”

“What?” Ian asked.

“One Quests of Yore campaign, Shrub Rosehammer and I took the easy route, he ended up in the belly of a gelatinous cube,” Barley explained.  “The reason why I didn’t suffer the same fate?  I followed my gut.  And my gut says we take an ancient trail called the Path of Peril.”

“But the expressway is faster,” Ian explained back.

“Maybe not in the long run,” Barley corrected.

“That doesn’t make sense,” Fear told the other emotions.  “How is the quickest way longer?”

“Maybe it’s some ancient riddle?” Joy pondered.

“Why are we even thinking this?” Disgust said.  “We’re seriously going to follow this nonsense?”

“Hey now,” Joy told Disgust. “A minute ago you believed in magic.”

“Yeah.  Magic,” Disgust clarified.  “Not this role playing griffin sh-“

Disgust was interrupted by the chime of Dad Island activating.

“I know you want this to be one of your adventure games,” Ian told Barley, “but what’s important is that we get as much time as possible with dad.”

It was at that moment, Barley felt a tapping near his foot.  He looked down to see Dad’s foot finding its way on top of Barley’s before gently pushing down.  Barley tried to smile, though his brother’s lack of faith in him was still sticking into his heart.

“So, maybe we should take the expressway,” Ian suggested once more.  “Right?”

“Right.”  Barley cleared his throat before adding, “But, if you end up inside a gelatinous cube, you are on your own.”

The emotions watched as the two brothers merged onto the expressway.  Meanwhile, Joy leaned close to Fear so he could whisper, “Hey, great job helping Ian back there.”

Fear exhaled a laugh. “Heh.  Thanks.”

“Anger did a good job too,” Joy added.

Fear paused a moment. “But, we didn’t get the map.”

“Nope,” Joy replied. “But Ian sure was bold.”

Joy leaned away, leaving Fear to think about that for a moment.

[karaokeadvice]

Meaningless Time

It’s a...Tuesday? I think? In the summer? I do know that it’s August, because I moved back to the States on August 1st. So I’m also completely jet lagged and I don’t have any sense of the time of day. To add to my confusion/displacement, I’m staying in my childhood bedroom at my mom’s house which has remained relatively unchanged since the mid-90s. (Case in point, my sister and I still refer to one of the bathrooms as “the new bathroom” although it was renovated in 1995.) So every day I wake up at about 5am craving enchiladas, and unsure about what decade it is, and where I am in my life. But I don’t think this is a unique problem. I assume that most of you are feeling aimless, unsure of the day of the week, and perhaps craving enchiladas at whatever hour you awaken. All of the “normal” markers of life are gone. Seems like a good moment to do a deep (medium?) dive into songs about time. 

Time (Clock of the Heart) - Culture Club 

[This is Karen’s only entry because not only is time meaningless, but I can’t remember any songs I have ever heard at all over the last 44 years.] 

I go through periods every few years where all I want to do is listen to this song on repeat and start crying a little bit when actual chiming reminiscent of a beautiful yet merciless clock gently starts up during the chorus, and if that���s not something you can relate to, I guess you probably didn’t grow up waiting to just get to the part when you’re an older yet wiser divorcee in a peignoir with a high rise apartment featuring large windows to knowingly gaze out of over a twinkling cityscape as a saxophone solo wails in the background. 

Well, some of that has come true for me, but not most of it, but luckily there’s always SOPHISTI-POP to help me cut to that feeling. According to Wikipedia, this is a term applied retrospectively to music “that emerged during the mid-1980s in the UK which incorporated elements of jazz, soul, and pop.” To me it’s songs that came on Top 40 radio after my mid-1980s bedtime of 8:00 pm so I had to listen to them on my clock radio stashed under my pillow and fantasize as detailed above and also something about impatiently taking off a large clip-on earring to answer the phone. 

This feels like a love song but it’s actually a giant dis and a meditation on the sunk-cost fallacy of long-term relationships that are dead in the water. “Time won’t give me time / And time makes lovers feel / like they got something real / but you and me we know we got nothiiiiiiiiiiin’ but time.” At first it feels romantic--we’ve got nothing but time, baby, time to spend together in this beautiful partnership. But wait a minute. Time makes lovers feel like they have something real, but in this case the lovers have...nothing but time. That’s it. Time and nothing else is what’s keeping them together. The charming chiming is actually signalling the death knell of a relationship. “Time won’t give me time.” Isn’t that the truth? Also: an excellent saxophone solo.

Time Passages - Al Stewart

I always get Al Stewart and Dave Stewart of The Eurythmics mixed up. (I know, I know.) This song is actually pretty boring: a perfect fit for this period of ongoing malaise. The experience of listening to it is the equivalent of not listening to anything. It also seems to go on forever, clocking in at 6 minutes and 40 seconds. 

There’s a seemingly endless youtube video someone made which pairs the song with just pictures of sunsets and skies. It’s exhausting and somehow irritating to watch. I think it’s supposed to be relaxing? 

There’s also a weird screaming instrument (or person) at just about the halfway point. So, it turns out I hate this song. I didn’t know until I started this entry. I learned something new about myself today. If you want everyone to die of boredom, you could sing this at karaoke. Actually, that would be a great idea for a room full of drunk kickball players. Please someone take me up on this challenge when and if we can ever safely gather again.

Breathe (2 AM) - Anna Nalick

I don’t know where Anna Nalick came from or where she went after she wisely cautioned us all to “just breathe” at 2am when we are waking up in a cold sweat and calling her for advice. Actually, at 2am I haven’t gone to sleep yet. I’m likely doing one of the following: having a debate with myself in my head about whether or not I should just give up sleeping and start a movie; deciding if it actually matters if I brush my teeth; wondering what things are plugged in that shouldn’t be; and/or mentally cataloging every boy I ever kissed. Also if someone called me at 2am I would scream. I’m calling BS on Anna Nalick actually picking up. At any rate, she is a really good friend to even consider answering the phone at that hour. Also maybe put your phone on vibrate?

Chicago - Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?

This is truly the question for RIGHT NOW. It’s also a really really dumb song. It seems like a filler song, like truly stream-of-consciousness writing (no shade; I’m doing the same thing right now!). But I’m envisioning the producer of Chicago’s album saying kind of last minute, “guys, we need one more song on this record. Literally anything.” I mean, look at the lyrics:

As I was walking down the street one day / A man came up to me and asked me what the time was that was on my watch / And I said / Does anybody really know what time it is 

I mean, maybe I’m not giving the songwriter (Robert Lamm!) enough credit. I guess he’s having the same existential crisis that we all are? But I just find the whole thing so irritating. Who wants to listen to a play-by-play of his day and the people he encounters while on his ambling stroll? TL/dr: one guy wants to know what time it is, some lady feels the need to inform him that her watch has stopped, and then there’s a lot of pushing and shoving (?!) as people are going to and from work. But not our narrator! He’s just walking around, waiting to be approached, so he can NOT ANSWER the question he is asked, and instead ponder the meaning of life. It’s so annoying! And also completely confusing how this was a HIT SINGLE?!! The 70’s, man. (More about this soon.)

Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce

When I lived in England (the first time, as a kid) I had my first BEST best friend, Judith. (Hi Pudes, if you’re reading this.) Like the first person outside my family who actually totally *got* me. I guess we got each other? It was actually how I always imagined friendship to be, but it had never happened like that for me before. 

We hung out every day after school and spent most weekends together. We’d stay up late listening to music in her room and just talking, talking, talking deep into the night. It was just before either of us had discovered boys, so all the energy that would later be used for crushes and romance was channeled into this amazing friendship. 

When we moved back to the US, I was devastated. 

We wrote long, newsy letters to each other faithfully for years. We saw each other every summer. I think it was the first summer we were reunited (her family came to the US to visit) that we sunk a lot of hours listening to “Time in a Bottle” and feeling sad about our fleeting moments together. We took the unusual step of writing the lyrics out on belts (?!!) for each other, and that belt with her handwriting and Jim’s lyrics hung on my closet door for all of high school. 

But there never seems to be enough time / To do the things you want to do / Once you find them / I've looked around enough to know / That you're the one I want to go / Through time with.

The bitter irony here, of course, is I lived in England again until last Saturday, and there still wasn’t enough time to see her. Not that we were allowed to for much of the past several months, anyway. But regardless, we have families and busy lives of our own now, and that brief fleeting moment when friendship is your only responsibility has long passed. 

Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper

I get a Strong Emotional Reaction from the opening chords of this song; do you? Flashback, warm nights!

This is one of three CL songs that I mix up. I always wonder, is this the one that makes me sad and I also think might be good to sing at karaoke? So I start here. Then, I realize, no, the one I’m thinking of has a longer title and something to do with night.

Oh! It must be “I Drove All Night.” So I move on to that one but it’s too upbeat.

Finally, I realize I must be thinking about “All Through the Night” and get the gut-punch nostalgia hit I was seeking from the opening keyboard twinkle. (Twinkle?!)  Hope you enjoyed this tour of my brain.

Anyway, back to this song. Time after time, Cyndi helps me sift through the suitcase of memories, dreaming about my bright future as Mrs. Corey Feldman. Like Karen’s SOPHISTI-POP entry, this is another ten-year-old under-the-covers listening experience. With no baseline for actual relationships, I pictured this as a treatise on Adult Love. A series of gauzy-hued Missed Connections, punctuated by consent issues (you say, go slow).

Upon grown-up relistening, it is a strikingly accurate portrayal of Relationships. She’ll be waiting for her lover, time after time, no matter what; but also literally waiting--what with the clock ticking and the second hand unwinding. I’ll wait for you forever but also it’s 7:35 WHERE ARE YOU.

(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life - Bill Medley / Jennifer Warren

This is not the best song on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. That honor OBVIOUSLY belongs to “Hungry Eyes” by Eric Carmen. I don’t think you need to hear any more details about my ten-year old fantasies though, so I will spare you. 

“(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” made a recent reappearance in my life when it was played at a Halloween party. I had a drunken miscommunication with my friend Nelson where I stood at one end of the dance floor and ran towards him at full speed, thinking he would somehow instinctively do “the lift”. But instead I just crashed into him and almost broke his glasses and nose. So, this is really just a word of warning. 

Also, Patrick Swayze is SO MUCH OLDER then Jennifer Grey; how did we not notice/care? Just so busy stanning Baby and Johnny Castle. Better or worse than the glaring age gap between David Bowie and Jennifer Connolly in Labyrinth? EVERYTHING IS RUINED.

All My Life - K-Ci & JoJo

Luckily, the YouTube comments have written this entry for us. 

Y.N. 2 months ago

Who’s listening during quarantine?  😁

O.S. 3 weeks ago

If you are also randomly playing old music. Hit like

JO 1 month ago (edited) 0% Butt shaking  0% Drugs 0% Lambos 0% Strippers 0% Cursing 100% TALENT

J.C. 2 weeks ago (edited)

TIMELESS!!!

[nothesc]

Fix-it fic. Post Sterk i din tro

Hi! 

So as I said I’ve written a continuation of today’s clip to try to cheer everyone up a little bit.

In this fic Yousef and Sana talk with real words about their situation. 

This is not entirely fluffy but frankly, the situation isn’t either so I’ve tried to keep it as realistic as possible.

I hope you like it and that this doesn’t upset anyone for any reason, I’ve written it with all my respect.

------------------------x----------------------------

How could he be so stupid? What kind of 19 years old boy leaves his phone at work and doesn’t think about getting it back? Yousef cursed himself as soon as he read Sana’s message.

The previous day he had been so busy at the kindergarten that he hadn’t had time to check it and then he had forgotten it at the place. Now, any normal teenager would’ve come back and got it but he thought that it wasn’t a big deal being a day without his phone. Well, surprise Yousef, it is a big deal when your crush decides to finally text you and you take 29 hours to answer her.

Now the question was, what should he answer? Should he just say yes? Should he try to act cool? Whatever, he wasn’t cool, not at all.

“Of course I want to hang out with you!” he texted “What about Friday? I’m leaving on Saturday”

 He paced nervously around his room waiting for her reply. What if he had messed up? What if he had waited too long to answer? What if she already had other plans? What if…?

His heart skipped a beat when he heard his phone beeping. He unlocked it and saw a facebook notificacion.

“Oh are you leaving this Saturday? I can’t this week” the text said “I hope you have the world’s best summer”

Yousef felt his heart breaking when he read the message. Once again he had lost the opportunity with Sana. Of course she had plans, if only he hadn’t left his phone at the kindergarten. When Sana finally talks to him, he screws up. He sat on his bed and put his head on his hands. He should’ve told her sooner about his trip, he should’ve told her when he was leaving, he should’ve…

Wait a minute. Yousef took his phone and read the message again, and again, and again. There was something that didn’t make sense. He had told her when he was leaving, he actually had. On Sunday Elias had asked him when he was leaving and she had heard, she had even asked him for how long he was leaving. Why would she act like she was surprise because he was leaving that Saturday? Yousef tried to calm himself, maybe she hadn’t understood him, maybe she thought he meant the following Saturday. But no, the boys were specifically making plans for Friday because Yousef was leaving that Saturday, Sana was there she heard the whole conversation. What was going on? That text didn’t make sense. Was she backing off again? Was she just trying to confuse him? What exactly was she doing?

Well, sitting in his room he wasn’t going to find out, that was obvious.

 -x-

He knocked on the door and waiting impatiently. He was about to knock again when the door opened.

“Yousef? What are you doing here?” Elias asked

“Is Sana home?”

“Why?”

“Elias, is Sana home?”

“Yes, I think so. I know my mom left but I think she’s in her room”

“Cool” Yousef said trying to walk past Elias

“Wow, wow, wow, where do you think you’re going?” Elias said stopping him

“Elias I need to talk to your sister”

“Well, like you just said, she’s my sister so before I allow you to go talk to her you’re going to tell me what’s going on”

“That’s what I want to know. I want to know what’s going on” Yousef said exasperated

“Elias who is…” Sana said as she entered the hall “Yousef…”

She froze when she saw him. She thought she wouldn’t see him before he’d leave.

“Sana we need to talk” Yousef said taking a step towards her

“About what?”

“About the text” Yousef said

“Look, I’m sorry I can’t meet…I just…” Sana said looking at the floor

“Don’t lie to me, Sana, just don’t”

“Okay, can someone explain me what is happening? What text?” Elias asked looking back and forth between the two of them.

“I just want to talk to you Sana, please” Yousef pleaded

“Elias go” she just said

“Are you sure?” her brother asked

“Yes, just go”

Elias nodded and left his friend and his sister alone.

“Sana, what is going on?” Yousef asked

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” she said

“Of course you do. Why are you talking like you didn’t know I was leaving on Saturday?”

“I didn’t…”

“That’s bullshit. You knew” Yousef took a deep breath before continuing “You know Sana I’m just…I’m trying really hard to understand you but you keep giving me mixed signals. We spent the afternoon together and we had what I think it was an amazing time together and then you blocked me on facebook”

“I blocked you before that” she muttered

“What?”

“I blocked you before that…”

“Okay, whatever the fact is that you blocked me and then you invited us to the karaoke place and surprise Even was there and you knew. Then you started to act super cold towards me and I tried to get closer to you and I know I was a dick when I stole your ball but I was just trying to make you smile. And then at Eva’s party you smile at me, like I wasn’t imagining things Sana, you looked at me and smiled and on Sunday you sat by me and talked to me for the first time in forever and then you add me on facebook and say you want to hang out and when I say yes you change your mind and act like you didn’t know I was leaving. Why? Why are you doing this? What exactly do you want from me?”

Sana felt her chest tighten and her stomach sink. She looked at Yousef, she could see the pain in his eyes, the desperation to try to understand her but how could he when even she didn’t understand herself. She tried not to cry but she felt so bad about hurting Yousef and eventually the tears started to roll down her face.

“No, no, no, don’t cry please” Yousef begged her taking a step towards her “Sana please don’t cry, I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m really sorry”

Sana shook her head and looked at the floor.

“Sana please…I just…look Sana I like you…I more than like you, I’m in love with you and I just…I thought that maybe you felt the same but then I’ve been receiving this mixed signals from you and I didn’t know what to think. But I’m really sorry I didn’t want to make you cry, that’s the last thing I wanted”

“I do” Sana muttered

“What?”

“I do” she repeated this time looking at him “I do feel the same way about you”

“You do?” he took another step hesitantly

“Yes and…I’m sorry I’ve given you mixed signals it’s just…” she said wiping the tears from her face “I saw you kissing Noora and I thought you were together but then Noora told me the truth and she told me that you liked me so I texted you because I really really wanted to hang out with you and to tell you that I like you”

“And why did you cancel?”

“Because you’re not muslim” she said biting her lip

Yousef’s face dropped as he took a step backwards aware of the little space that had been between them

“I understand” he said nodding

“No you don’t. Yousef I want to be with you, I really do but I don’t know how we could make this work. I wouldn’t give up my faith for you and I would never ask you to believe in something you don’t so how could we make it work when we don’t share the same values?”

“But we do, Sana” he said “Look, I’m not going to pressure you into being with me if you don’t feel comfortable with it but we do share the same values Sana. And I respect you and your faith so much and I would never ever do anything to keep you apart from it or to make you feel uncomfortable. If you gave me a chance I’d prove it to you. Just one chance Sana, let me show you that this can work. You put the rules and I follow them”

“Yousef…”

“And if at any moment you want to give up, you want to stop I will respect it, it’s your decision Sana. Whatever you decide I’ll respect it.”

“It wouldn’t be easy” Sana said shaking her head “You wouldn’t just have to convince me, you’d have to convince my whole family, everyone that is around us”

Yousef nodded and took his phone from his pocket.

“What are you doing?” Sana asked frowning “We’re talking about our future here and you’re texting someone?”

“I’m cancelling my flight” he said still looking at his phone

“What? Why?” she said but he didn’t answer, she took a step closer to him “Yousef, why?”

“Because Sana…” he said looking up at her “If I have to convince you and your whole family that I’m worthy of being with you I should get started right now, right? I can’t leave for two months”

“Yousef…you don’t have to do that” she said shaking her head

“I told you, I’m going to prove you that this can work, this is just the first step. So, what do you say? Would you give me a chance and make me the luckiest man alive?”

Sana laughed and rolled her eyes

“Is that a yes?” he asked

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“I’m sure if you are” he said

“Then okay…let’s try this”

“Yeah?” he asked with a big grin on his face

“Yeah” she said smiling

“Yeah?”

“Yousef, yes”

“Just wanted to make sure” he chuckled.

“So, what’s the next step?” she asked “Since you have it all planned”

“Oh, I’m going to make your mom fall in love with me, she’s going to love me”

“A little cocky don’t you think?” she said raising her eyebrows at him

“I made the great Sana Bakkoush like me, after that I can achieve any goal”

“So I’m just a goal for you?”

“You’re more than just a goal for me, you’re my…”

“Soulmate?” she finished for him with a smile

“Exactly that, you’re my soulmate” he said

“And you’re mine”

------------------------x--------------

Prompts:

Set at the "Sterk i din tro" klip Seen from Yousef's pov, when he just realises he has gotten the message from Sana and then reply quickly after felling so happy, but then she turn him down. Later that evening he comes over to be together with Elias and he tries to get in contact with Sana, but she is cold towards him. He confronts her and she tells him everything or something like that

A fix-it for todays clip? where they sit down and talk about stuff, i know you've written a hundred fix-its now but tbh your fics make me happier than the actual show right now. I hope you are well and that your exams are going well. Love You and your writing

after Yousef read sana's response he decides to go to her place and talk face to face

I’ve received another prompt regarding next Friday’s clip and I think maybe I’ll write it tomorrow

I know this isn’t my greatest fic but I was really frustrated when I started writing so I’m sorry for that

Hope you’ve liked it

Thanks for reading!!

[lady-mug]

Hakumyu Tag Game

Hi friends! So @allyyyyy0619 tagged me in this post about my thoughts on Hakumyu, and I was so touched she thought of me that I definitely want to answer so pardon me as I regale you with my thoughts on Hakumyu!

1. Which musical was the first that you have watched? Your impressions on the overall production? Hm…This is really a two-part answer for me. My friend and I saw the ads for the newly released DVD of Hijikata hen in animate, and after watching some clips of Hakumyu on Youtube, we decided to buy it to see what it was all about (and subsequently bought the soundtrack because we knew we’d probably like it lol). What we did not know was that Hijikata-hen was not the only one, and what we had watched on Youtube was from Okita hen. So as we were watching, there was some frantic googling and buying of DVDs. We had noo idea what we had gotten ourselves into, but I was into it hard. I had Yaisa stuck in my head for weeks. I’d listen to the soundtracks on the way to work every day. It was great.

Which leads to the part two of the question, the first show that we watched live was Kazama-hen. On such a Hakumyu kick, I looked on a whim to see if there would be more. By sheer luck I found out that Kazama-hen’s tickets were going on sale the very next day, so we overcame many hurdles that is Japanese butai ticket-buying to go see it. Although the ending wasn’t super happy, and my overall impression of it is still that they removed way too much of Kazama’s snark/craziness from his character for that performance, the fact that it was the first time seeing so many songs I loved in person gives it a special place in my heart. Wow that was long sorry

2. Which musical is your favourite in terms of the song performances and why?

Here’s where my musical biases are going to start showing Heisuke hen. The song were perfect, the overarching musical salsa theme blended seamlessly, and it was a treasure to watch. I’m sorry Sano I still love you best but that show is just damn

3. Which musical is your favourite in terms of the storyline and why?

I think Sano hen did a great job portraying his story line, but….again with the love for Heisuke hen lol. I don’t think I can just separate the storyline for judgement, but if I had two those two would probably tie.

4. Which musical is your least favourite in terms of the song performances and why?

…Shinsengumi Kitan. The show was one of those that had a bunch of small, quick vignette songs that either left you wanting more or just came out of nowhere. And, although he is a perfect Hijikata and has since clearly gotten more vocal training (because he was great in Live 2 and Sano hen), Gaku’s singing voice in Kitan just….doesn’t work for me. And the poor guy gets steamrolled by Shougo. It’s not one of my favorites.

5. Which musical is your least favourite in terms of the storyline and why?

Also Shinsengumi Kitan. We did this story already, but they just redid it with the BS ending from the anime. If anything, they could’ve taken the ending from the movie and that would’ve been great.

6. The musical that you didn’t initially love, but has/have grown on you?

I have either loved them right off the bat or they’ve stayed not one of my favorites (looking at you Reimeiroku and Kitan). I love all the different route musicals for their different strengths (even Saitou hen). I guess I could say Reimeiroku’s music has grown on me just from repeat listens and I just love Hungry Guys lol

7. Original or latest casts?

The latest casts do an amazing job, they really do, but they aren’t the original. Which is fine, but I hold a special place for the original cast in my heart (Higashi Keisuke is the exception, he is my favorite Sano forever and I’m so glad they waited for him lol).

8. Live 1 or Live 2?

Live 2! How can I not love the Live that foreshadowed my love’s musical!

9. Favourite actors/characters?

Ever since we knew this existed, I have been waiting for Sano’s musical. Higashi Keisuke does an amazing job at bringing my favorite character to life. Also! Ikeda Junya is literally Heisuke come to life, adding more reasons why I love Heisuke hen.

10. Actor/actress whom you think has the best vocal skills?

I mean, don’t you get chills when Shougo hits that note in Heisuke hen’s Yaisa? Because I do.

11. Actor/actress whom you think did the best in bringing out the character into life

See number 9. Also! I still remain very impressed at Gaku’s Hijikata and how much chemistry he had with Chizuru in Kitan (my favorite part of Kitan!). He has such dedication to the role and it shows.

12. HIjikata,Souji,Saito or Harada,Shinpachi,Heisuke?

Harada, Shinpachi, Heisuke ;)

13. Favourite minor character?

Does Yamazaki even still count as a minor character now that he has his own route?

14. Favourite Shinsengumi member?

Sanoooooo

15. Favourite demon character?

Chikage, or Kags as my friend and I lovingly call him

16. Favourite Chizuru?

You know I don’t have one! I think they all do an excellent job, and I have favorite things I like from each of them.

17. The actors/characters that you didn’t initially love, but has/have grown on you?

My overall impression of Gaku probably falls into this category. Also just in terms of characters, I used to hate Chikage. Utterly hated him. It was really movie 2 (and Shougo) who really changed my mind.

18. Least favourite actors/characters? Why?

I don’t really have anyone I don’t like; all the actors bring their own special somethings to the role.

19. Favourite solo song?

Oh gosh I have to pick one? Um. Well if I have to pick one, I do love Heisuke hen’s opening 明日へ. It is an upbeat and fun beginning to the show!

20. Favourite duet?

It’s really hard to pick these lol…I have always enjoyed all of the duets in Okita hen, and Heisuke’s duet with Chizuru in Heisuke hen too, and Sano’s duets in Sano hen are growing on me really quick so…a lot of them lol.

21. Favourite group song?

I mean if we don’t count Yaisa, I’ve always enjoyed Beautiful Drunkards (both versions).

22. Which Yaisa! is the best?

Heisuke Hen’s. Salsa-y Yaisa is my favorite. Although Hijikata hen’s Yaisa is the most Yaisa-y Yaisa if that makes sense. I love them all.

23. The songs that you didn’t initially love, but has/have grown on you?

I think I’ll just put all of Reimeiroku’s songs into this category (except Hungry Guys that was great from the word go).

24. Which production are you most looking forward to?

{I’m so happy I can say was looking forward to since we have them all for now} S a N o H e N <3 <3 Years man YEARS

25. What does hakumyu means to you?

Hakumyu means…..means seeing some of my favorite stories come to life on stage and in song. It means singing Yaisa at the top of my lungs in karaoke and now in the car. It means improving my listening skills in Japanese. It’s changed my life, and I hope it will continue to do so.

Anyway thanks for reading, and thanks again @allyyyyy0619 for tagging me! I’m not going to tag anyone in particular, but if you want to by all means answer away!

[cocowriteskpop]

Again? Maybe |Lee Sung Hwa

Reader(You) x Gray

Genre: High School AU, Romance, Drama

Rating: Fuff, with some adult lanuage

A/N: Italics are your thoughts

You watched from down the hallway as the girls crowded Sunghwa at his locker, handing him love notes and gifting him with candies. Letting out a sigh you walked two your own locker which happened to be four spaces from his. Not that you counted or anything. You replaced and removed books trying to prepare for your next set of classes but your eyes continued to wander to Sunghwa and his groupies. You admired and pitied the girl who chased after him every chance they could.

It took a certain amount of perseverance and determination to still chase after a man who broke your heart every other day. You let out another palpable sigh, you’d cut your loses with Sunghwa freshman year. That didn’t stop the want though, you wanted him bad. You slammed your locker in an attempt to banish unwanted thoughts but that only startled the groupies at Sunghwa locker. Figures.

 “Are you okay?” Sunghwa asked you with a knowing smirk. “Just peachy” you answered as you turned to walk back in the direction you came. You heard feet scampering behind you right before someone pulled the collar to your blazer. You whirled around staring directly into Sunghwa’s eyes. “What” you bit out averting your eyes. “I don’t know” he replied in the same clipped tone you used with him. “You didn’t really sound like every thing was ‘peachy’” he made air quotes with his fingers. “Sunghwa” you huffed “go away.” 

“Only if you meet me at the spot tonight.” 

“Fine” you agreed finally turning and walking to your class.

You rode the train to the local karaoke bar and used Sunghwa’s name at the door. An attendant gave you the room number even though you didn’t need it. Walking down the familiar hall to room seven you took a deep breath as if gearing up for war. Pushing the door open you walked in on a scene your eyes world have been glad to never see. Sunghwa, his friends and a few of their groupies (yes, all of his friends have groupies) were in very compromising positions. Typical Sunghwa. You Embarrassed, a little envious and a whole lot of pissed you slammed the door to the room against the wall. 

Every eye in the room turned in your direction while you quickly masked your feelings and gave a amused smile to everyone. “Maybe I’m in the wrong room” you looked up at the number on the door. ‘Nope, right room” you looked at Sunghwa “wrong time. I’ll see you around Sunghwa.” 

That right there you thought to yourself is the reason why you cut your loses with Sunghwa three years ago. The man could not keep his junk in his pants.

You avoided Sunghwa like the plague for a week. Not because you were still mad no, you learned a long time ago to just take Sunghwa as he was and never expect more. It was out of necessity seeing Sunghwa like that with other women never ceased to rattle you. You needed to find your inner peace and detachment from all things Lee Sunghwa.

You sat at the lunch table with your best friend Natalie and listened to her rave about the boys she was going on a group date with after school. Apparently they were all super hot and were just starting to get into the underground rap scene which added another layer of hot. She’d finally stopped talking for a blissful two minutes to check her phone.  “Grrrr” Natalie growled angrily. “What’s the issue?” you asked even though you already had an idea. 

“Tiffany just canceled and now were short a girl.” 

“And this is a problem?” You asked seriously you didn’t fully understand the dynamics of group dates you’d never been on one.  

“A serious problem! If all the guys don’t have a girl to talk to the start competing with each other for attention and when boys compete it always turns into a brawl.” 

“So cancel. It’s not like it’s a real date anyways.” Natalie gave you a look, one you knew well. “It’s a real date?” you questioned. “Wait don’t answer that answer this. You have a boyfriend and didn’t tell me?” Natalie facial expression said it all. She was sporting her infamous pouty bottom lip and her ever so sad doggy eyes, you couldn’t even stutter the word no. 

 So for the second time this week you found yourself at a karaoke bar and just when you thought it couldn’t get worst, it did. It got way worst, in the forms of Park Jaebum,  Kwon Hyukwoo and Lee Sunghwa. You glared at your best friend as she gave you a sheepish shrug before kissing Kwon hyukwoo lightly on the lips. You rolled your eyes before staring at the white wall in front of you. Maybe if I don’t look at him he’ll go away. 

“I’m not going away.” The all to familiar voice of Sunghwa whispered in your ear. You shrugged your shoulders and continued to stare at the wall. “What are you doing here anyways, I was expecting Tiffany.” 

“I was coerced. I have no plans on taking Tiffany’s spot ever.” 

“I didn’t say I didn’t want you here I just didn’t expect it, it’s a nice surprise.” 

“You raised an eyebrow “I wasn’t expecting you either, I would have rather stuck it out with Jay’s touchy feely ass.” You spoke matter of factly as you opened a can of pop and took a sip.

“I can’t say I would be too happy with one of my best friends touching on my girl.” 

You nearly choked on the pop as it went down your throat. “Yeah it’s time for me to go.” You stood with your coat and Sunghwa stood too. Ignoring the fact that Sunghwa was following you, you waved goodbye to Natalie and gave her the hand signal for call me. In the hall you turned on Sunghwa “Why the hell did you follow me?” You ranted “Do you know what it looks like to them.” you gestured to the door. 

“Shut up” Sunghwa told you  before shoving you in a utility closet. He closed the door behind him then turned on the light. He watched you for all of 30 seconds “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” he says softly. “So you shove me in a closet?” You raise a eyebrow “I want to leave.”

“I want to talk to you (Y/N)”

“There’s nothing to talk about Sunghwa” 

“That’s a damn lie and you know it” He was starting to get frustrated with you, Like always.

“Let me rephrase it, there’s nothing I want to talk to you about Sunghwa. So please let me out.”

“I want you to be my girl again.” He blurted out ignoring your previous statement. You leaned against the wall furthest from the door.

“You mean you want to fuck me again?” You asked crudely.

“If that’s what I meant then I would have said that.” he shouted.

“You didn’t say it the first time, or  the second, not even the third Sunghwa so why would you say it now?” You kept your voice leveled and calm which the exact opposite of what you were feeling. Your insides were twisted in knots and you felt your heart was breaking slowly every time he acted as if he truly wanted you and just not sex.

“Fuck” he ran his hands through his hair disheveling it. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he repeated. Shards of your heart fell into your stomach. Your eyes began to water so you covered your face with your arm. Sunghwa was staring at you but you couldn’t see just like you probably didn’t know your body shook with unshod tears. 

“Baby” Your heart finally fell into the pit of your stomach. Sunghwa pulled your arm away from your face and embraced you in a hug. He kissed your hair while running his knuckles up and down your back. “I messed up with you a lot.” He spoke softly “I always treated you so carelessly because I thought you would never leave me. But, baby do you know how much I love you? Of course you don’t” Sunghwa rambled “I do love you though and I want to fix this, fix us.” 

You pulled away from Sunghwa, you needed to breathe and to think and you couldn’t do that in the warmth of his arms. Did he really love me? No he couldn’t. He lying like always. “I’m not lying.” He grabbed your hand and laced his fingers through yours. “Just tell me you’ll think about it.” 

“Maybe” you replied while staring at your fingers laced with his.  

[nothesc]

Hii!!

New prompt! This is a mix of all the prompts I received about yesterday’s clip.

The prompts were:

“ I have a prompt request if it'a okay because I love the bakkoush siblings and Yousana :) Based on the latest "Ramadan" clip : Elias is angry at Yousef and confront him. “

“ Prompt after the newest clip of sadness, (please only get to this if you have time) Elias pov, talking some god damn sense into Yousef about what he's doing. Cus Elias doesn't have time for nonsense like this. “

“ Hellooo I have a prompt if you are looking for ideas: Elias grilling Yousef about what's going on with him and Noora (I'll let you decide whether he lets on that he ships yousana haha). Also possibly Sana overhears?? “

“ I have a prompt. Sorry, I know you probably have so many, but I want things to be okay, even if everything is so sad now. So I was thinking that while Sana was in her room, crying, Yousef will come back to the boys and he will be sad and will tell them everything, he will start to cry and then he will ask permission to Elias to let him see Sana and he will go to her room and she will not let him enter, but he would do that anyway and they will see each other crying and they will fix everything.”

“ Hi! Okay so I know you already wrote something about Elias confronting Yousef but I wanted to ask if you could write something about Yousef finding out what the boys said to Elias and realizing that Sana could have heard them and Elias could have thought he was playing with her sister's feelings... let me know if you decide to write it! “

So I decided to make a mix of all these prompts. I didn’t want to make Elias angry or violent or anything like this because I think that being Ramadan he would want to try and be patient with him and understand him. 

I hope that you like it and that it doesn’t upset anyone.

-------------------------------------x-----------------------

Elias was still shocked and angry about Adam’s and Mikael’s revelation about Yousef meeting Noora when his friend joined them.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late” Yousef said greeting each boy with a hand shake

When he got to Elias, though, he didn’t returned the greeting and just stared at him

“Where were you?” Elias asked

“Just out, dealing with some stuff” Yousef said shrugging

“It’s that how people call it these days?” Mikael asked laughing

“What are you talking about?” Yousef asked confused

“I know you were with Noora” Elias said bitterly

Yousef widened his eyes at that comment and looked at the rest of his friends trying to figure out how he could know

“Mikael and me saw you and Noora in a park in our way here” Adam explained

“It’s not what you think. I have an explanation” Yousef said facing Elias

“Really? Enlighten me”

Yousef thought for a moment about the best way to explain everything, he didn’t want his friend to think that he had been playing with his sister all this time, because he hadn’t, not at all.

“I met Noora to tell her that there won’t be anything between us, ever”

“And why would she think that there could be something between you in the first place?”

“Because…because we kissed a couple of weeks ago…at the karaoke place” Yousef admitted looking at the floor

It took Elias a moment to process all the information, his mind went back to that day and then to the days that had passed since then, everything was starting to make sense, especially certain girl’s behavior.

He wanted to scream at his friend, he wanted to curse him, he even wanted to punch him but he tried to calm down, he decided to give him a chance to explain everything, he wanted to forgive him.

“That’s why she’s so upset” Elias whispered more to himself than for the others to hear

“Who?” Yousef asked

“Who do you think?” Elias said, he didn’t want to say his sister’s name out loud, he didn’t want to reveal her feelings, not in front of the rest of the boys

“How could she…?”

“She saw you. I’m pretty sure she saw you”

“What? No, she couldn’t, how?”

“She didn’t leave with me, she probably just went back inside after the fight”

“I screwed up, I screwed up big time” Yousef said covering his face with his hands

“She’s been acting really weird since that day, always sad, always angry. I thought it was just about the fight but I’m not so sure anymore” Elias explained

“What’s going on?” Mutta asked “I’m lost here”

“Nothing, this is between me and Yousef” Elias said

“I screwed up, I screwed up, I screwed up” Yousef kept repeating

He looked at the sky and then back at his friend but something caught his attention.

“Is that Sana’s bedroom?” he asked pointing at a window on the house

“Yes, it is” Elias said confused as to why that was important

“The window is opened. Have you talked about me and Noora here?”

“Yes…”

“Do you think she…?” Yousef left the question unfinished

Elias widened his eyes when he realized what his friend was implying.

“Let’s go”

Both of them entered the house leaving three confused boys behind. They went straight to Sana’s bedroom and tried to open the door but it was blocked, like something was against it.

“Sana? It’s me open the door” Elias said

“Leave me alone Elias” Sana said

“Sana, please, why are you blocking the door? What’s going on?” he tried again

This time she didn’t answer. She had been crying for the past half an hour. She looked at the paper on her bed, the one with Noora’s password. She was tempted to use it, to expose Sara and to hurt them all the way they had hurt her, but something was stopping her. She didn’t want to be like this. She wanted to be a better person than them.

“Sana? It’s me, Yousef. Please let me in”

She froze the instant she heard that voice. What was he doing there? Why did he want to talk to her? Was he there to tell him that he was dating her best friend? She was definitely not ready for that.

“Please, Sana…” he almost whispered.

He turned around to look at his friend with a defeated expression.

“She’s not going to open the door” he said

“You think the window is still opened?” Elias whispered

“There’s only one way to find out” Yousef said making his way out of the house.

He went back to the backyard where the boys still waited for them. He got to the window, which was in fact opened, and climbed it getting in the bedroom with a jump.

“What the…what are you doing Yousef? Who do you think you are to enter my bedroom without my permission?” Sana yelled angry

“I’m sorry okay? But you wouldn’t open the door!”

“And why do you think is that?” she asked exasperated

“We need to talk”

“No, we don’t” she said wiping away the tears that had been rolling down her face.

“Please, don’t cry” he said taking a step towards her, a step she took backwards.

He nodded and looked behind him, all the boys were looking at them from the grass. He walked over to the window and closed it, this was a private conversation.

“Let me say what I have to say and then if you want me to, I’ll leave”

She avoided his eyes but nodded knowing that he wasn’t leaving anyway.

“Did you see us? At the karaoke place, did you see us?” he asked

She closed her eyes and said nothing

“I’ll take it as a yes.” He nodded “Did you hear the guys talking about me meeting her today?”

Again Sana said nothing, which he took as a confirmation.

“It’s not what you think” he said

“I don’t want to know”

“Just hear me out please”

Sana took a deep breath and sat on the bed preparing herself for the pain.

“I kissed Noora because I wanted to forget about you”

“What?”

“I…I thought you didn’t feel anything about me, I thought there was no hope between you and me.”

“So you kissed my best friend? Great” she said bitterly

“Sana, you ignored me for a week, you unfriended me on Facebook, then we spent this amazing afternoon together and I thought that everything was going to be okay, but then you didn’t talk to me during the whole week”

“Neither did you”

“I know…But I thought…I thought that maybe I was bothering you, that maybe me always trying to contact you was annoying to you. I thought that if you felt something about me you’d talk to me, that maybe you were just being polite and that’s all”

“I didn’t talk to you first ‘cause I was afraid that it was all a game to you” she admitted

“It wasn’t. I swear it wasn’t” he said taking a step closer. “When I got to the club that Friday and saw Even there, I thought that I was right, that you were only being nice to me so you could reunite us. It was stupid and I’m sorry. So when Noora kissed me I kissed her back thinking that I’d be able to forget you. But I couldn’t, so I stopped the kiss, told her I was sorry and left”

“You stopped the kiss?” she asked

“Yes. I didn’t know you were there, if I had known…I wish I had never kissed her.”

“I wish you hadn’t…”

“After that, you kept ignoring me and again my fears came back, I was sure that you didn’t feel anything about me, I was ready to finally give up on you but yesterday…playing with you, seeing you smile, it made me feel alive and I realized that I didn’t want to give up on you, I don’t want to give up on you”

“It was the first time I’d smiled in two weeks” she said looking at the floor “It was important to me. So that’s why it hurt me so much when I found out you were with Noora today”

“I was with her to tell her that I’m not interest in her, that nothing will happen between us, because I like someone else…I like you. And even if you hate me now, even if you never give me a chance, I can’t pretend that I can forget about you and be with someone else. I just can’t”

“We have a serious problem of communication you and me” she said shaking her head and feeling stupid for making assumptions.

“We do” he said approaching her and crouching in front of her. “But maybe now that it’s all out in the open we can get better”

“Not everything is out. There’s still one more thing that has been left unspoken”

“What is it?” he frowned

“I like you too” she said smiling

His smile matched hers after hearing those words from her mouth.

“But we can’t keep doing this, we can’t keep assuming things and not talking to each other” she said

“I agree. And I promise that I won’t act stupidly again”

“That’s a lot to promise” she laughed

“Okay, I’ll probably act stupidly, but I won’t ever hurt you again”

“And I promise I won’t make assumptions and I’ll talk to you when things happen”

“Cool. It’s a deal” he said smiling

“It is”

----------------------------x-------------------------

This is it!!

Thank you so much to everyone that sended at prompt and I really hope you’ve liked it!

Thank you all for reading♥

[nothesc]

prompt: sana finally opens up to Elias about the source of her "temper + grumpiness" + he confronts yousef (doesn't have to be included in your writing, can just be implied that he has confronted yousef) + yousef realizes he should probably talk with sana to clear it up + so he picks her up from nissen on Monday (as a surprise to sana) + he's like "can i drive you home?" + she says no and he's all like "i'm driving you home" + instead he takes her somewhere + you choose what to do with the rest.

Heey!

Thanks for the prompt!!

I hope you like what I wrote. I have to say that I didn’t make it very long ‘cause I feel like I’ve written these conversations in a lot of fics already and I didn’t want to repeat myself. But still, I really hope you like it!

—————————–x————————

SUNDAY

Her mind kept going to the previous day. She sawhim in her mind with the ball in his hands, smiling at her. She saw themplaying, she saw them happy, having a good time. But then, her mind made a crueltrick and took her back to a couple of weeks before, to a certain karaokeplace, to a certain moment with a certain blonde girl as the main character.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, shewanted to do anything at all that would erase that image from her mind but allshe could do was stay there, sitting on her bed staring at the wall.

“Sana? Can we talk?”

She had been so focused on her thoughts thatshe hadn’t realized that his brother had entered her room. She looked at Eliasbut she didn’t say anything

“Sana, I’m not leaving this room until we talk”

Again, all she gave him was silence

“Come on Sana, I know you’re mad at me but I’myour brother, let’s talk about it”

“I’m not mad at you Elias, just leave it alone”Sana said

“Of course you’re mad at me, you’ve been sad sincethat day. Sana, I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t mean the fight to happen, itwas all just a misunderstanding and things got out of control. Please forgiveme”

“It’s not just about the fact Elias, you’vebeen really off lately”

“I was going through a rough time but I’mbetter now, I promise”

“Well, I’m going through a rough time too andthat’s why I’m acting like this so you can relax, it’s not about you” she said trying to make him leave

But instead, he walked over to her and sat onthe bed next to her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really”

“Have you talked about it with someone?”

“No.”

“I think you should, even if it’s not me. But Sanayou need to talk about it with someone, I think that’ll really help”

“I don’t have anyone to talk about it Elias, sojust leave it alone”

“What are you saying? You have your friends,you have me, you have Yousef” Elias said

“No. I don’t have my friends, I don’t haveyou and I definitely don’t have…him” she stated not even wanting to sayhis name.

“Oh, come on. You know he’d listen to you ifyou wanted to”

“I can’t talk about this with him” she whispered

“Sana…does it have something to do with Yousef?Did he do something?”

“It’s nothing, just…stuff”

“I thought things were good between you two, Isaw you yesterday. You were having fun”

“Yes…we were, after spending two weeks withouttalking to each other” she said rolling her eyes

“And why is that?”

“I just…I got angry at him…but I’m…I’m tired ofbeing angry. He hasn’t done anything wrong, he didn’t owe me anything”

“I’m lost here, Sana. What happened?”

She looked at him, considering whether sheshould tell him or not. Maybe if she finally told someone she would feel betterabout it…maybe…

“The day of the karaoke…he…I saw him…he kissedNoora”

“What? Noora? Why?”

“If you find out, tell me”

“Of course I’ll find out” Elias said standing up

“Wait! No, Elias don’t!” she said following him

“Relax, I’m just going to ask him, he doesn’thave to know that you saw them”

“Elias…”

“Sana, relax, let me take care of it”

And with that, he just left.

Later that day, when he came home he refused totell Sana anything, he only said that everything would be alright. If Sana wasanxious about the whole situation before, now she was driving herself crazy.

MONDAY

 Finally, the classes had ended. Avoiding allthe people she knew during a whole morning could be very tiring and now allSana wanted was to go to her house. As she left the building a car caught hereye. She knew that car, and she sure knew the boy who was leaning against itand looking at her.

“Looks like someone is driving you home today” she heard someone saying next toher.

She looked at her left and saw no other thanNoora.

“Me? I think he’s definitely waiting for you” Sana said bitterly

“Why would he wait for me?” Noora asked confused

“Well, I’m not the one he kisses at parties, amI?” Sana spat

Noora’s face completely dropped.

“Sana…”

“Forget it” she said leaving her friend standing there.

She made her way through the yard, ignoringYousef completely, but as soon as he saw her leaving he approached her.

“Hey! Sana! Wait” he said reaching her

“What do you want?”

“Do you want a drive home?” he asked with his hands in hispockets

“No”

“Sana, I’m driving you home” he said

“No, you’re not”

“Please, Sana. We need to talk” he almost begged

Sana, knowing that he wasn’t giving up, walkedpast him towards his car. He stood there watching her not sure if she wasaccepting his offer or not

“Are you coming or what?” she said without turning to faceher

 -x-

“This is not my house” Sana said as Yousef stopped the carin front of a park

“I know. Let’s take a walk”

“You said you were taking me home.”

“And I will, but we need to talk first. Come on”

He got out of the car and started his waythrough the park. Sana sighed and followed him

“Okay, we’re walking. What do you want?” she said

“I know you saw me kissing Noora” Yousef said

Sana stopped dead in her tracks as soon as the wordsleft his mouth. Yousef stopped too and looked at her

“Elias told me”

Sana closed her eyes, trying so hard not tocurse her brother.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked

“It’s none of my business who you kiss or whoyou don’t kiss”she said

“Then why are you hurt?”

“I’m not”

“You are”

“No, I’m not”

“Sana, you are hurt”

“Fine! I’m hurt, I’ve been through hell thispast few weeks. That’s what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?”

“No! Of course I’m not happy! I’m so sorry Ihurt you, I hate myself for hurting you” Yousef almost yelled

“Then why did you do it?”

“Because I was trying to forget you”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense”

“I…I was a mess, I thought I wasn’t good enoughfor you, that you didn’t feel the same way about me that I would never get tobe with you…So when Noora kissed me I kissed her back ‘cause I was trying tofind a way to forget about you”

“Have you?” she whispered

“Would I be here if I had? Of course I haven’tforgotten you, I still like you, I’ll always will. I stopped the kiss because Iwasn’t feeling anything, it made me feel…nothing, nothing at all”

She looked at him not sure of what to say

“Sana, please say something…I’m really sorry”

Still, she didn’t say anything

“Okay…I get it…I’ll drive you home” he said making his way back to thecar

“Wait!” she called after him making him stop and faceher “Wejust got here and there’s still a lot of park to explore. You said we were goingfor a walk”

Yousef couldn’t hide the smile on his face. He noddedand approached her standing by her side.

“Let’s go for a walk, then”

——————————-x———————————-

Sooo this is it!

Like I said it’s not very long

I hope you’ve liked it!!!

Also, maybe, maybe, maybe, maaaaaybe I’ll post one of the yousana future!fics tonight…if I can study what I have to study and still have time to write it, if not it’ll be posted tomorrow, but I’m going to try

The next prompts have nothing to do with the clips, meaning that they’re not based on the, they’re mostly future fics about key moments in their relationship and I really hope you’ll like it

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you’ve liked this one♥