#just kind of sad to see my term and this blog misused

[segreid-persona-builder]

Mm,, it’s a little uncomfortable seeing people add posts from this blog to “sysmate hoard” blogs.. like idk obviously the personas created here can be inspiration for headmates and stuff but seeing them reblogged alongside BAH blogs’ posts without any separation feels like the personas, as they are, are being treated as headmates

Just feels a little disrespectful to the term I coined, treating it as just another form of plurality when it’s explicitly not that :(

[just-a-little-unionoid]

babe me ironically telling you that I "sadly can't kill myself like you told me to do because some people care about me" isn't trauma dumping, implying I'm suicidal isn't trauma dumping, telling you "I have plenty of occasions to kill myself" isn't trauma dumping. I live near a train track, a cliff, a tumultuous river, and work with dangerous machines, those are the "occasions". don't use terms you don't understand you're just making yourself looks stupid.

"trauma dumping" would be to tell you (oversharing) about traumatic experiences. which I will not do. but learn the vocab.

again I'm not defending anyone and it's sad that you can't understand that giving some nuance to a situation or even explaining some context isn't "defending", or I guess what you mean is more likely "excusing". context is important, understanding complexity is important, you can't change things if you don't understand why they happen, stop with the black and white mentality. fucking WHY are you even watching the show at this point?

anyway, want honesty? okay, I can do that. it's not even 8am on a non working day, I must admit that reading your message first thing in the morning piss me off, and I've yet to activate my social filters, so that should be easy.

you're right, I do care what you think of me. not that it matters at the end of the day, but it pisses me off that someone can put so much effort into misreading someone, into twisting or ignoring all of their words. I can't even begin to understand how your mind works. why you would hate so much someone you know nothing about. it does actually worry me tho, because I've seen your other posts. you seem to dedicate half of you blog to hating on Alastor specifically, and his fans, picking fight against people who don't care what you think of them if not downright trolls. I care about you, that other person with the Homelander (or whoever the fuck this character is) memes was absolutely trolling you and was delighted by your angry reblogs. gosh how old are you even? (don't answer that) back in my days "don't feed the troll" was common knowledge. stop giving them what they fucking want.

I do honestly care about you. why is it that? because I'm a proud member of a social species and when I see my kin hurting themselves, I find it very unpleasant. also because I tried to emphasize with you so I could get under you skin. I'm stupid so it backfired and now I see you as a person instead of a concept without shape behind a screen. now I can't hate you, the joke's on me.

I've been there, like I said I know anger feels right, but it's also intoxicating. quite literally I mean, anger prepare your body to fight, it releases chemicals, hormones, to do so. it feels great but too much of it will hurt you. I know it's not easy but keep that anger for what you can actually fight. anger is a useful tool but you're misusing it. stop exposing yourself to online content that distress you like that. yes, I know, it's an addictive feeling. stop it anyway.

[this is where I take a pause so I can do things irl, idk what mood I'll be in when I start writing again, so the tone can shift]

you want to have the last word, I want it too, we're kind of in a situation here.

I could just stop responding to you but I don't want to, because I am indeed arrogant and believe I am right, you are wrong, and I want to convince you of my point of view. don't think you're better than me tho, you're also arrogant and think you are right, and me wrong. the main difference being that you're not trying to convince me, you're just getting mad at me. I don't think that makes me better than you but I do think screaming at me is useless. or well again I guess it can let you lose some stream if you need to, I don't really care. but anyway you're not going to convince me without using arguments (again not that I think you're trying to convince me, I'm just pointing at our differences)

my point of view is that having a morally complex character isn't a writing flaw. exploring said characters limites and empathising with them isn't a flaw either. some people use fiction to safely explore subjects that would be dangerous to explore irl. we've done that for literal thousands of years, maybe there is a reason for that, don't you think so?

you won't find characters being punished by death (and it being shown as a good thing, I mean) in Hazbin Hotel. it's a show about redemption and a metaphor for criticizing the prison system (as well as imperialism but that's not really the subject here). I'm sorry but it you expect Alastor (or others) to be killed for their crime it will not happen. will he suffer consequences? I do believe or at least hope so. this guy is an absolute moron who's incredibly bad at dealing with his own emotions and he will hurt others and himself over it, and it will likely come to slap him back in the face at some point, it's pretty much inevitable. but see, this is the difference between consequences and punishment. when you say "consequences" what you actually mean "punishment". you expect the character to suffer because you believe he deserves it, not just because it's the logical consequences of his actions. that's very different. the narrative of Hazbin Hotel (likely, if it stick to its current morality) won't approve of punishment. again it's a show about redemption, about trying to find alternatives to punishment, so it can't present it as an acceptable option.

I'm telling you that because it seems that you decided to keep watching it and I don't want you to get your hope crushed, y'know, prepare yourself for disappointment because what you wish would happen is the polar opposite of the show current morality

I mean like, I can be wrong, I've been wrong about fiction analysis before, I could be wrong again, but think yourself about it, okay? take a few minutes to analyse the show morality and purpose and draw your own conclusions, I'd be happy to hear about them if they end up being different of mines, always useful to get different pov on a subject

as for our emotions, I think that yours are raw. you feel a lot and let yourself feels, that's good but it doesn't mean you're being honest with them. maybe you think you are, and maybe you are indeed, I'm not in your head. but listen. just because you feel a lot doesn't mean you know why you feel so much or that you choose a good target to express it. emotions are just hormones, it's logical, your body (and so all thoughts, emotions or feelings it can produce) is just a complex biological machine and there is no such thing as chance in it. everything that you do, feels or think is the logical result of past and current experiences. but while it's logical it doesn't mean it's rational. us humans are still animals, even if we're able to talk we're not rational beings, we think and feels things by instinct and then we try to rationalize and justify them. that's how it works. most of the time it's bullshit tho, just because we feel something doesn't mean we have a "good" reason to do so. we have reasons, causes for it, but there's no morality behind, "good" and "bad" are concepts created by humain but biology and physics don't give a shit about those concepts. we have to try to follow them but they're not at the core of our decisions, that's what I meant.

so like, idk try to find why you're angry, what exactly makes you angry in what I'm telling you. don't answer "you're excusing the actions of a terrible person/character" again because you already said that multiple time but it doesn't say much. WHY does it makes you angry? (I'll save you some time: the answer is likely that you believe punishment to be an acceptable consequence, and it displease you that I think differently. but don't hesitate to tell me if you think I'm wrong, I actually quite enjoy to question my certitudes) then you have to ask yourself whether or not it is justified. from a moral standpoint I mean. are you right to be angry at me, at my opinion? and finally you can ask yourself if it's useful to be angry at me, like, whether you are right or not, does that change anything? (that's the part where I'm telling you being angry at me doesn't affect me that much, but that can affect you, do your choice)

hum... I think I covered pretty much all I wanted to cover 🤔

oh right! I said I was trying to be honest so there you go:

the reasons I keep talking to you (and caring despite of everything, and notably of what I keep saying) is because 1) like I said I'm arrogant, think I'm right and want to prove you wrong, but also 2) because I like conflict, it makes my brain happy because it force me to think of arguments, of how I should build my sentences, and there's probably also the part where English isn't my main language so it demands a little more efforts too. in resume, I crave stimulation and this exchange provide that, speaking of which 3) I'm desperate for human connection, I don't care if it's a positive interaction or not, I just fucking need to connect to other people, I'm aware that it's quite pathetic but you more or less asked for me to be honest so that's on you 🤷

yeah yeah I'm an arrogant bastard, I know, you keep telling me

I’m afraid he’s contracting babygirl disease :(

[midzelink]

Well, this is certainly something that happened.  

In response to a post I made stating the various reasons I don’t like the Twilight Princess manga (which was in and of itself a response to some replies I got on this other post), I got a barrage of replies from a user (who will go unnamed, they’ve already been blocked) in defense of the thing - which, ordinarily, wouldn’t be a big deal!  People are allowed to have different opinions and I never once stated anyone who liked it should feel bad!  I started writing up a reply to them in the middle of this barrage, but their replies just kept coming and got subsequently worse, yet it was all...so bizarre to the point that it would feel weird to not address that it happened.  I’m putting all of this under a read more, because wow this is a wall of text, but also this is the kind of nonsense I want people to avoid having to read if it can be helped.  At any rate, this is what they had to say:

I don’t know, this really honestly feels like reaching. It feels like criticism for the sake of criticism without actual narrative flaws being shown, but your anger seems to stem from “This interpretation is different from what I thought even though I admit all official art shows the charachter this way” and “Link HAD to be raised in ordon because of one quote from the enclosed instruction book”. Twilight Princess was literally made to be “the edgy zelda” in reponse to fan overreaction to wind waker. This is undeniable. All official art depicts link this way. He turned into a freaking wolf in the middle of the twilight craze! but no, he *can’t* be like that because of random expressions he makes when holding pets or items? First of all, even in the manga he isn’t an edgeboy all the time.

Secondly, it feels like you're merely glossing over all that was added in terms of charachterization! In the original game, I felt nothing for Ilia. She showed up, yelled at link for maybe getting epona slightly hurt, and then got kidnapped. Maybe a bit of tsundere stuff, but seriously, Midna is literally the best tsundere ever. You can't out midna-minda in her own damn game. XD In the manga, Ilia and Link actually have a warm and very close relationship, you can see them through all the slice of life in the first volume. I really grew to like her and truly felt sorry for her when bad things happened to her. She actually gets far, FAR more respect as a person and charachter in the manga than merely a trophy for link to get back. But no, you're far too focused on subtle expressions and insinuations because that is literally all anyone had to go on for the longest time. In reality, Link, as has been said many times, is an avatar as much as he is a charachter. You can't gloss over his official art depicitons any more than I can random expressions he makes when finding a heart piece.

Not to mention, you call the blog midzelink yet you make zero mention of the super obvious wlw-as-fuck zelda flashback in volume 5? It's a sad thing that Shad being straight is something I have seen people complain about, yet Zelda and Midna's relationship getting such a huge focus passes without a peep. It's a disturbing trend I see in my fellow Fujoshi. And on the subject of Shad, his relationship with Ilia is far more likely something included to give her a happy ending, rather than just seeing link off into the sunset to try to find midna and live forever alone in ordon. On that note as well, Link not being from Ordon fits PERFECTLY with the ending, Link being the only hylian, link being from there, all of this is SCREAMING that that is the place he never truly belonged, the manga simply takes it one step further and in this version says he was never from there any way, cementing that. It gives the concept that Link was using Ordon as a place to avoid being who he was extra weight. And Honestly, it makes him less of a jerk in the end for leaving ordon, as he never truly belonged.  

And It's actually a narrative flaw in the original for Lanaryu to make mention of misusing the power of the master sword and then having nothing come of that warning later. If you're going to set chekov's gun down on the table, you better use it by the end of the play. It's simply capitalzing on something that the story actually set up, and playing into the tone of the story nintendo marketed it. But really, most of my annoyance dosen't come from the fact that you don't like the manga. People can dislike what they want. It's that all your grievances seem to come from stuff at the very beginning, and you liked it for so long, when they were there just as much as they are now. This kinda reeks of someone else slowly influencing you over time, rather than your own thoughts.

Phew.  

Okay.  

First of all, what the f**k, dude.  Who leaves this kind of essay in the replies of someone else’s post?

Secondly,

(Note: a “fujoshi” is a woman who likes yaoi, usually used in a derogatory manner, but it seems to be self-proclaimed in this case.  That is to say, this person proudly announced they fetishized MLM relationships, and then proceeded to tell me my opinion was Bad and Wrong because I didn’t praise Himekawa for a scene that ultimately wasn’t WLW at all, even though I and a lot of other people liked to interpret it that way.  Do not give Himekawa credit for gay rep, ever.)

Again, I was going to reply to this person civilly...up until I read the Midzel/Fujoshi reply, which decimated me on impact. There’s a heckuva lot I could say in response to, well...everything else, but in the interest of making this post shorter, I’ll break it down into a bulleted list:

Link being raised in Ordon is not based on “one quote from the enclosed instruction book” - Ilia specifically states when she gets her memory back, “When we were young, you and I... You were always there... You were always beside me... Link.” (I already mentioned this in my original post, which they evidently neglected to read properly.) And this is to speak nothing of the familial bond between Link and all of the Ordonians that is fairly evident within the context of the game, i.e. Rusl trusting him to deliver a very important gift to the Royal Family, or all the children looking up to him as much as they do.

Saying “all official art depicts Link this way” in defense of his characterization in the manga being edgy (when his in-game persona is far-flung from that) is pretty shaky when you realize that the same can be said for Skyward Sword, which arguably has the most emotive and happy Link of any game. In all of SS Link’s official art, he is angry, mid-yell, or stone-faced.  That’s how character art works.  That’s how marketing works.  They wanted to market TP especially as a darker game, yes, in response to the critiques of The Wind Waker, but this is literally a man who smiles softly every time he picks up a dog or a cat. You can pet the goats.  You get excited about fishing.  If TP Link should be “edgy” because of his official art and no other reason, then SS Link should be, too.

it’s your own damn fault you felt nothing for Ilia, Ilia owns, suck it

MIDNA IS NOT A TSUNDERE, HOLY SHIT.  SHE’S NOT.  I WILL NEVER CONCEDE THIS. She doesn’t mistreat Link because she likes him, she mistreats him because he is nothing to her when they first meet, and this is a stance that slowly changes as they get to know each other!  She stops treating him like garbage when she stops seeing him as such, and her behavior throughout the game post-Zelda is a mixed bag of shame over how she treated him previously and a longing to make up for it.  How anyone can construe that as tsundere I will never, ever understand.

the Midzel comment is so wack I really can’t believe I had to read that shit with my own two eyes

no, Link likely isn’t from Ordon (again, already addressed in my original post, but again, I guess this person can’t read), but he was certainly raised there, see: the first bullet point

Lanayru never once mentions ANYTHING about misusing the power of the Master Sword, so that entire point is completely invalid.  I literally have no idea what they’re talking about here. Lanayru does have the famous line, “Those who do not know the danger of wielding power will, before long, be ruled by it,” but that’s in reference to the Fused Shadows, not the Master Sword.  Which, you know, you would know if you actually knew the source material as well as you claim to, dude.

Lastly, yes, I did like the manga when I first read it, but as I already stated, that was because I blasted through all four (available at the time) volumes in one sitting, and it was immediately after my hyperfixation for this game resurfaced (about a week or so before I made this blog!).  I was Starved For Content, and the manga was Content.  Now I’m not Starved, and two more volumes have released since, and guess what!  People’s opinions can change!  And my opinion is that the manga isn’t for me, and this entire, extremely accusatory essay of yours in the replies of a post I made stating my own opinion was entirely uncalled for and rather intrusive.  So, yeah.  Blocked.

This has certainly been a trip.

[legionnaireslover]

Inspired by doctortwhohiddles' excellent post!

Here's my contribution to answering @thoroughlyskeptic...

-sending threatening asks to anyone who likes a blog’s posts, even when unrelated to the fandom : I've never seen any of these so-called "threats" either. But I have seen Haters threaten Sophie with harm. I have seen Haters try (and sometimes REPEATEDLY try) to follow anti-hate blogs - has happened repeatedly to me. And I have REPEATEDLY told them I don't mind them reading my blog (unless they become abusive, which a few of them have, so I have had to block them... but only a handful) but I don't allow known Haters to be followers of my blog.

And YES Aeltri HAS a habit of jumping all over positive posts about Sophie and Ben (so have other Haters), especially on her Twitter account! She literally went into a Twitter rage during the Flourishing Diversity event, calling Sophie a whore, cunt and a criminal!

-ostracizing someone for saying ANYTHING not completely positive about your Queen : NOT ostracizing - just NOT letting them get away with sneaky, hypocritical behaviour... having their "Sherlock/Ben fandom" cake, and yet all the while supporting and enabling disrespect and hatred for Ben, his wife and his children.

All I want from these people is honest TRANSPARENCY. If you are going to show total disregard and respect for Ben's choice of wife and their children, then at least own your petty hatred. Don't sneak around the fandom pretending to respect BC. Just come clean and stop pretending to be something you're NOT! The most likely motivation for these people to HIDE their true nature is NOT fear - it's done because they are ASHAMED of their hatred and don't want others to know about their pettiness and small-mindedness. BTW most anti-hater bloggers don't care if someone doesn't LIKE Sophie - all they care about is that they don't spread HATRED AND FILTHY LIES ABOUT HER, BEN AND THEIR CHILDREN!

-blocking people and DEMANDING others block them too, if they don’t follow your “rules” : I don’t ever remember anyone DEMANDING that someone block a Hater either. I ABSOLUTELY remember telling Haters that unless they UNFOLLOWED ME I would block them from MY blog because I don't allow Haters to follow my blog. But if they did unfollow me I DON'T BLOCK THEM. And I remember other blogs saying the same thing... but demanding others block them... nope!

-DOXXING : I think Gator PURPOSELY misuses the term "doxxing". She KNOWS that she and other Haters have exposed personal info on the internet and then she cries about doxxing when she want to play the victim card.

And I remember all too clearly that it was GATOR AND AELTRI who tried VERY hard to publish personal information about someone's address on their blogs (thank goodness they're complete incompetents and they got it wrong).

-MAKING MULTIPLE SOCK PUPPET BLOGS TO DOXX : Oh please, Aeltri is the fucking QUEEN of sockpuppet accounts!

-POSTING A MAP TO SOMEONE’S PERSONAL HOME TRYING TO INCITE OTHERS TO HARASS : Ditto to Doctortwhohiddles response! As for inciting others to harass... that's practically a national pastime for the hater crowd on Twitter!

-having people blocked from other chat sites : just show us ANY real evidence of this! If it has happened (I don't visit chat sites) these people probably decided to block Haters because their obsessive insulting of Ben's wife and their children more in likely disrupted the chat.

-trying to have blogs on Tumblr shut down JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE THEM : No, it's not just because we don't LIKE them... PLENTY of Hater blogs exist and no one reports them EVER. The few that are reported are ones like Aeltri who post outrageous hatefilled and dangerous comments. Like the latest diatribe from Aeltri stating that people SHE labels "defective infrahuman subspecies" be FORCIBLY STERILIZED! Is it any surprise that some are HORRIFIED by this and demand that some restrictions be put on this kind of hateful talk?

-TRYING TO GET PEOPLE BANNED FROM EVENTS : like Doctortwhohiddles said this is specifically about ONE person... Aeltri - and that was a case of due diligence because Aeltri was hell bent on seeing BC in person and all that was done was notify the organizers of the event about who she REALLY WAS and THEY decided to take that action to protect Ben. Honestly, what did you expect them to do once they read Aeltri's blog??? Welcome her with open arms? AELTRI GOT HERSELF BANNED FROM THAT EVENT BECAUSE OF HER OWN BEHAVIOUR on her blog!

TRYING TO GET PEOPLE FIRED FROM THEIR JOBS : Well the one that comes to mind where someone had proof of it actually happening is when a person published the incident in full on the XOJane site. And that was someone who was HARASSED BY A HATER because they posted that they had seen a pregnant Sophie with Ben. As for the Haters being hounded by others... never seen ANY proof or FULL accounting given - just accusations slung out by Haters and NO receipts EVER given! The XOJane incident... I remember reading the tweets AS IT HAPPENED, so I KNOW the harassment took place. Sooooo, who are the bullies???

-SENDING THREATENING LETTERS TO THEIR HOUSE : Just post the letters please! Otherwise it's just more imaginary delusions of the Aeltri ilk - "Sophie is making PHONE CALLS to me and hanging up!! Sophie has been making harassing phone calls to me PERSONALLY!! Sophie is HAVING ME WATCHED!! She's READING my blog!! She's hiring people to harass ME!" Sure Jan!

-SAYING YOU WANTED PEOPLE WHO DON’T AGREE WITH YOU TO DIE HORRIBLE DEATHS : Well, let's look at the timeline, shall we? If I recall correctly it was the Haters who started that sort of shit talk.

THEY were the ones who started with talking incessantly about harming Sophie, slapping her at events like red carpets and Letters Live, and then that escalated quickly into wishing her to have a "sad life event" (dead baby), wanting her to miscarry, saying they wanted to punch her in the belly to PROVE her pregnancy was a sham, posting photoshopped pics of her being run over by a train, posting allegorical pictures of dead octopuses (because their nickname for her was "octopus"), and then finally this culminated in Gator's horrible "warning" post to Ben about how he, Sophie and the children would be killed for PR. So, who wins the "Horrible Death Wish Crown"???? I think it's the Haters hands down!

And this doesn't even touch all the other vile lies that certain Haters have been spewing out over the years including accusing Sophie of sex trafficking, being a drug addict and a prostitute, killing and eating babies (!!) in satanic rituals (!!!), torturing Ben by scaring his head with secret cult brands, starving him to kill him, poisoning him... all under the guise of just partaking in innocent celebrity "gossip"!

So, the question is - why should we believe ONE FUCKING WORD ANY HATER SAYS if they readily partake in this sort of outrageous discourse?

Let's stack up THIS kind of rhetoric the Haters use ON A REGULAR BASIS, against the reactions of some people who are absolutely disgusted by the blogs of Haters, and see who has a CREDIBILITY PROBLEM, shall we? I don't think the Haters would come out on top!

[deutscheshausnyu]

Interview with Writer-in-Residence Ursula Fricker

Ursula Fricker was born in 1965 in the Swiss town of Schaffhausen. She trained as a social worker and taught theatre studies. Her first novel, Fliehende Wasser (Fleeing Water) was awarded the prize for single best work by the Swiss Schiller Foundation in 2014 as well as a year’s writer-residency by the City of Zürich. In 2009 she published Das letzte Bild (The last Image), and in 2012 Ausser sich (Frantic), which was nominated for the Swiss Book Prize. Lügen von gestern und heute (Past and Present Lies) was awarded the Brandenburgischen Kunstföderpreis in 2017.

Ursula Fricker will participate in the upcoming Festival Neue Literatur 2018 (March 23-25), a collaborative project of New York’s leading German-language cultural institutions. The 2018 festival invites authors from Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and the U.S.  to tackle questions of identity and belonging in a fracturing Europe and beyond, using race, religion, immigration, status, politics, and even soccer hooliganism as lenses to explore contemporary society and the recent past.

© Susanne Schleyer/autorenarchiv.de

When did you know you wanted to become an author?

This was more of a subtle process than a decision. I´ve always read a lot. I remember that once when I was about twelve or maybe thirteen, I asked myself how it would be to write a novel and thought that it must be incredibly difficult. My origin is a working-class family without much of an affinity to the idea of making a living out of art. Nevertheless, bit by bit, I made a living out of art. Writing became my place to be.

Can you tell us a bit about your creative writing process? What inspires you? Where and when are you most productive? Do you have a favorite place to write?

I need long term empty periods of time. Full schedules make me sick. I need a room for myself. It’s a bit sad to say and also a cliché, but my most productive inspiration seems to come out of a certain discontent, discomfort, and doubt about political or social development – an impulse of contradiction.

You were born in Switzerland, but you moved to Germany following the fall of the Berlin Wall. Which of these two countries do you now consider home, and has this in any way shaped how you view the world (and render it in your novels)?

First, home is where I am. But of course, Brandenburg/Berlin, where I’ve lived for almost thirty years now, has become home. Home contains the Brandenburg landscape, which I admire a lot: mostly unspoiled, original plains and endless woods, wide and wild. In that sense, I am an old romantic, although I also love huge chaotic cities, majestic architecture, industrial sites, bridges, and human formed landscapes. In a way, of course, I am a migrant – of free will. While I’ve assimilated into Eastern Germany, I still feel a sense of belonging to Swiss society…not so much in national terms, but rather in terms of the mentality and way of thinking.

I can´t say whether the experience of migration has shaped my way of writing, because I just don´t know how it would have been otherwise. What my life and writing may shape is a certain urge and passion to start anew, which is a blessing and curse in one.

Your fourth novel, Past and Present Lies, is set against the background of the current refugee crisis and tackles contemporary subjects head on. What special powers does fiction have to help us understand and confront the world today, and what overarching message were you hoping to communicate with this book?

Well, the novel was actually written before the current, what we call, refugee crisis in Europe occurred. I started research in 2011/12 and finished writing in the summer of 2015. The setting tackles a very special issue we had in Berlin throughout this time: an activist/refugee camp in a small park in the city. And we had a local government who accepted the occupation as an expression of comprehensible protest. The narration is built around this situation. There are three characters: an activist, a migrant, and an interior senator (Innensenator). It was essential for me to draw three more or less understandable views on the same issue.

Since 2015, the debate has been heating up. My novel came out just at the peak of the so-called “welcoming culture” (Willkommenskultur) in Germany during the spring of 2016. Since not all characters in the novel empathize with the refugees, some blogs and newspapers (if they reviewed the book at all) accused it of being “politically dangerous”…whatever that means. When I wrote the novel, I had a quite naïve intention. I wanted to open the window and see what’s happening. Empathy, I think, is a very valuable thing, and should not be misused to comfortably confirm the side we sympathize with and deny or exclude all other perspectives. The result would be, I believe, a very restrictive and illiberal way of thinking.

For example, I´ve set the character of Interior Senator Otten not the way everybody would expect. In my novel, the “bad guy” is a decent human being. Readers find themselves, maybe against their will, understanding the thoughts and arguments of a conservative politician. Can you do that, everybody would ask. If literature has a power, what else could that be but to allow us to slip into the mind of somebody else, someone who may even be the opposite of us. This, of course, is also quite delicate and raises the question of who is worth being understood. Is there a red line? These are interesting questions that are important to discuss.

You will be presenting Past and Present Lies at the annual Festival Neue Literatur in New York, where the theme this year is INSIDER | OUTSIDER.  Could you reflect on this theme in regards to your novel, and your novel’s main characters Beba, Isa, and Otten?

It’s all about insider/outsider in the novel, it is actually one of the main subjects! The leftist group around Isa, the activist, is loudly claiming for inclusion. But in real life, they are drawing a sharp line between insiders and outsiders. Interior Senator Otten dealt with the same issue in his youth. This has marked him for life and shapes his action today. Beba as a migrant and prostitute is a clear outsider, but feels like an insider. Some wished that she would have been more vulnerable, but she is an unconventional, willful character, not a victim. And sometimes, outsiders become insiders very quietly and draw new lines of segregation.

Is this your first time visiting New York? If you have been here before, how are things different now from the last time you were here?

I´ve visited New York several times before. The first time was in 1987, when I stayed in Queens in a kind of commune, together with a bunch of Irish expats for almost four months. Fun times!

Everything is quite different now. Safer. Cleaner. Less crazy. But New York is still overwhelming in so many ways.

How do you plan to spend your residency in New York? Will you take advantage of the cultural scene or do you plan to mainly focus on your writing and research for future projects?

I have to focus quite strictly on the current project, my next novel, which is just about to be finished. But since I mainly work in the very early mornings, I allow myself to stroll around in the afternoons. I love observing the street life, discovering outlying parts of the city, and marveling at the architecture. I also go to museums, exhibitions, and concerts now and then.

[the-record-columns]

Sept. 13, 2017: Columns

Class of '67 and my friend Marie...

     Marie Cashion Ray

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

Elsewhere in this edition of The Record is a blurb reminding anyone in the Wilkes Central High School Class of 1967 that there is still time to make plans to come to our reunion, Saturday, September 23, 7:00 pm, at the Stone Center in North Wilkesboro. It continues with a note to call Marie at 336-782-3093 for complete information.

That would be Marie Cashion Ray, one of my oldest and dearest friends.

Marie was born just a few days after me up on Hinshaw Street in North Wilkesboro. We played together, went to school together, and have stayed in touch all our lives. Her mother, Ardena Spicer, was like another mother to me her entire life, and, I say with great authority, that I know I was her favorite of all the Hinshaw kids she so ably helped raise to adulthood.

In any game where we had to choose sides, Marie was almost always on my side. She would pick me, or I would pick her and that always kept either of us from being the dreaded, “..last one chosen.” As noted, we were almost always on the same side, but you could count on Marie to take care of herself when it came right down to it.

To that end, the story that follows tells it all. It was 1962, we were I the 8th grade, old enough to be changing classes like big kids. Most of our teachers were 100+ years old it seemed, until Freida Matthews came along. Fresh from Appalachian State Teachers College, she was (and is) beautiful, and every boy in the 7th and 8th grades was in love. I mention Freida just because she is every good thing you could ever ask for in a person, and that always bears repeating.

Today's story, however, centers around Mrs. Nell Helms and science class. Somehow, I had gotten a handful of rubber bands and, during science class, I had been shooting them at Marie every time Mrs. Helms turned to the blackboard. By the time the bell rang to change classes, Marie had had enough, rose from her seat about three persons ahead of me, and, I one swift move, swung the shoulder bag she was carrying like a weapon at me. 

Wham.

She got me solid on the side of the head. Marie smiled, and Mrs. Helms didn't see a thing. It wasn't like I didn't deserve it, so I said nothing and simply shook my head and started down the hall to my next class. A moment later, I felt a warm tickle on my neck, and, when I rubbed it, my hand was bloodied.

Yes, the buckle on the shoulder bag had cut me behind the ear and I was bleeding like a stuck pig. There I was, one of the Great Unwashed from Hinshaw Street bleeding everywhere, and because I got hit by a girl—litttle skinny Marie at that. I thought I was going to die. I had no choice but to tell my next teacher, Roy Furr, about the incident and he took me to the Emergency Room at the hospital. There, I saw one of the kindest men I ever came to know, Dr. Robert E. Lewis, a surgeon who began to clean the cut and stitch it up. When he asked how I got hurt, I confessed that I got hit by a girl with a pocketbook. Mercifully, Dr. Lewis had pity on a young boys pride, and didn't laugh out loud. I did, however, take a lot of ribbing by the others of The Great Unwashed about being put in the hospital “...by a girl.” In no time the cut had healed and it was forgotten To my memory, I have never had another disagreement with Marie of any kind--after, all, I now know what could happen to me.

Once warned, as they say.

As an adult, Marie ran a frame shop called The Stitchery in North Wilkesboro for a number of years. It was an amazing place to visit, and gave the term full-service a whole new meaning. You could have something framed, buy needlepoint supplies of all kinds, have coffee, a sweet roll, get marriage counseling, legal advice, psychiatric help, and she would let you use the restroom.

Some years ago, she moved to Forsyth County, but has now returned to Wilkes and lives in the very house she grew up in on Hinshaw Street.

I say a heartfelt welcome home to Marie and George, and look forward to seeing them at the reunion.

  Healthy Coping

By LAURA WELBORN

The goal is to grow so strong on the inside that nothing on the outside can affect you without your conscious permission.

When you find yourself facing a disheartening reality, your first reaction might be to deny the situation, or to avoid dealing with it altogether.  But by doing so you’re inadvertently holding on even tighter to the pain that you wish to let go of—you’re, in effect, sealing it up inside you.

When you face struggles with an attitude of openness—open to the painful feelings and emotions you have—you find out that it’s not comfortable, but you can still be fine and you can still step forward.  Openness means you don’t instantly decide that you know this is only going to be a horrible experience—it means you admit that you don’t really know what the next step will be like, and you’d like to understand the whole truth of the matter. It’s a learning stance, instead of one that assumes the worst.  How we cope becomes a defining moment -  it’s when…

 A task is harder than you expected it to be — Instead of running from a daunting and overwhelming task, you can accept it and see what it’s like to feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed, and still take action anyway.  

 An interaction with someone you love angers or frustrates you — Instead of lashing out at a loved one when you’re upset with them, you can sit quietly with your difficult feelings and just be open to what it’s like to feel them.  And then, once you’ve had a moment to breathe, you can see what it’s like to deal compassionately with someone you love who you’re also upset with.  To try to understand them instead of just judging them at their worst.

 Unhealthy cravings overwhelm you out of nowhere — You may be inclined to indulge in unhealthy cravings like alcohol and sweets for comfort when you’re feeling stressed out.  But you can sit with these feelings and be open to them instead, and then gradually build positive daily rituals for coping in healthier ways—taking walks, meditating, talking with someone about your feelings, journaling, etc…

You are forced to deal with a loved one’s death — When someone you love passes away, the grief and sense of loss can seem overwhelming.  And at that point, it’s incredibly easy to give in to unhealthy, “quick-fix” ways of alleviating the pain.  But you have to force yourself to do the opposite—to give yourself compassion, to sit with the powerfully difficult thoughts and feelings you have, and to open your mind to what lies ahead.  Gradually it becomes evident that death isn’t just an ending, but also a beginning. Because while you have lost someone special, this ending, like all losses, is a moment of reinvention. Although sad, their passing forces you to reinvent your life, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places.  Marc and Angel Hack Life blog 

So often this is how substance abuse/misuse starts - by trying to avoid situations that are painful. The substance we choose helps “numb the pain” and enables us to avoid facing the pain.  No one I know wants to be in pain, and openly deal with it.  We tend to want to give it time to go away and when we do we push the pain to the back of our brain- which then sits and waits until we are least able to deal with it before it goes to the front of our brain.  

The old saying “Can’t go around it, must go through it” comes to mind and the longer we try to go around it the more painful it becomes.  Children are really good about dealing with things until they feel it’s not ok to talk about it, then it goes deep and stays there.  AA has a practice of talking in front of the group about their “story” of addiction.  We can learn from this practice as we “own’ our stories and face our tragedies so that it doesn’t stay hidden but out in the open.  So I ask you “what’s in your life that you are avoiding?” 

So, where's the beef? Maybe in a Palestinian tunnel

By EARL COX

Special to The Record

Why are Palestinians smuggling cows through the tunnels that connect Gaza with Egypt?  Reportedly the Palestinians need these cows for religious purposes such as the Muslim festival, which just ended on Sept. 5, called Eid al-Adha or Festival of Sacrifice. They claim the cows supplied by Israel do not meet their criteria for height and weight. The question begs to be asked, “Aren’t there any Palestinian cattle farmers?” Surely there must be but perhaps they are too busy manufacturing bombs or building more terror tunnels. Too harsh a statement? The facts say otherwise.

Israel has always acted in good-faith in seeking peace with the Palestinians. Remember the unilateral move by Israel to evict and forecfully expel more than 10,000 Israelis from their homes in the Gaza Strip in order to give this land to the Palestinians - land that rightfully belonged to Israel just as Texas rightfully belongs to the United States? These vacated Israeli communities were constantly referred to by the media as “settlements.” To our Western minds the term “settlement” conjures up images of trailers and outhouses, barren land and camels however nothing could be further from the truth. Israeli "settlements” are actually thriving communities with beautiful homes and gardens.  They have functioning municipal governments with elected officials, sound infrastructures such as paved roads, hospitals, banks, shopping, community centers, schools and thriving businesses to include agriculture, greenhouses, animal husbandry, vineyards, orchards, and technological centers to name only a few. The Gaza “settlements” even had million dollar beachfront homes and all were gifted to the Palestinians back in 2005 in what became known as the “Gaza Disengagement.”

From the “settlements” of Gush Katif and Neve Dekalim, the Palestinians were handed approximately 380 highly productive, largely organic farms that produced luscious fruits, vegetables and flowers to export. Livestock, including cattle, were also raised. The World Bank, along with a small number of private donors, purchased these farms and turned them over, fully functioning and fully intact, to the Palestinians. So what did the Palestinians do with them? They demolished the buildings and dismantled the greenhouses — reportedly using the metal in their Kassam rocket industry.

The AP reported that “more then 3,000 greenhouses costing the World Bank and private donors approximately $14 million were completely stripped and totally destroyed.” These greenhouses and farms were to have been part of the economic foundation for the Palestinians to build their own viable economy. However, instead of choosing growth and prosperity, they chose war, terrorism and destruction. This took place back in 2005 and nothing has changed since.

The media has brainwashed the world into believing that Israel is responsible for Palestinian poverty. In truth, the Palestinians are victims of their own leaders. The people are afraid to speak out as the cost for doing so may be too high - it may cost their lives.

Palestinians have learned well how to harness the power of the media to influence public opinion. In preparation for past religious festivals there were media reports showing mature cows compressed into tiny circular metal cages bent so that their noses touch their tails, or bound with chains and ropes around their legs and hooks through their noses, being dragged along tunnel passages. These images could have been staged for the media in an attempt to demonstrate the desperation of the Palestinian people because Israel is supposedly denying them suitable cows to use in the fulfillment of their religious demands. This is absurd.

The following quote appeared in a World Bank report out of Washington, DC.

“Most of our work here focuses on the twin pre-conditions for the establishment of a viable Palestinian State: sustainable economic growth and robust institutions of state and civil society,” said Mariam Sherman, World Bank Country Director for West Bank and Gaza. “We must not forget, however, that it is the resilience of Palestinian society that makes these long-term goals achievable. Therefore, programs designed to preserve valuable social and human capital in the short-term are critical to the state-building effort.”

What’s really happened, though? More than a decade after the Gaza Disengagement, where is the “economic growth and the robust institutions of (Palestinian) state and civil society” upon which the World Bank was banking? Perhaps they have fallen victim to the “greenhouse effect” — which, when translated, means “a bunch of hot air.”

The Palestinians have never truly wanted to build a viable state of their own living peacefully next to the State of Israel. What they want is the total and complete destruction of Israel and her people, and the world seems not to notice. They blow the hot air, and we inhale it like a sweet fragrance knowing full well that it stinks, or we look the other way and pretend all is well.

So, where’s the beef? Ask the hordes of Palestinians who dismantled the thriving farms and greenhouses of Gush Katif and Neve Dekalim. They were handed, on a silver platter, the tools and foundation upon which to build a solid, self-sustaining economy just as the World Bank said needed to happen. But, instead of putting their hands to the plow and the sickle they put their hands to the bullets and the bombs - and nothing has changed.

Friday Afternoons

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

Friday afternoons are always exciting to me. It’s the time of the week when the whims of life become empowered.

Due to my travels and location story development work, I am seldom in the office on Fridays. Sometimes however I am, and on a Friday not so long ago that is exactly where I found myself.

Allow me to set the scene. In the grand room,the back wall has a black backdrop with lights. On one side of the room,there is a comfortable gold couch circa 1980’s and on the opposite side, an easel with adequate paint, brushes and new canvas for anyone who feels creative. There is also a sitting area with two chairs, a center table, small Zen garden, and lamp.  

Meredith is at the easel working on her second painting of the day. Summer is on the couch with lyrics to a new song she has written, Emma is sitting on a stool beside the sofa with a guitar in hand. Producer Jared is directing with good feedback and capturing some video of the activity.

While I was doing a bit of work in my office, I left the door open so that I could hear the progression. I looked in a few times, but I could hear that things were going nicely. Over the course of three hours, I witnessed something wonderful. Two paintings were finished. The lyrics of a heartfelt song about being grateful for people while they are still around, come to life with rhythmic vocals and nicely balanced guitar notes.

I am fortunate to be around a lot of talented people. I have had the opportunity to visit with and interview some of the most talented individuals in the Carolinas.

I remember visiting Cheraw, S.C., during the Dizzy Gillespie Jazz Festival, and it seemed like every venue in the entire town had a talented Jazz group performing, each one as dynamic as the other. I have learned much about our historical and current Jazz scene in the Carolinas.

Lonnie Davis is the President of the Jazz Arts Initiative, based in Charlotte. Her husband Ocie Davis is the artistic director for the organization. The dedication to high standards for education and performance opportunities for great Jazz musicians is impressive.

I don’t think I will ever forget the first time I went to the Pop Ferguson Blues Festival in Lenoir, N.C. I was taken by the authentic talent of Pop and the incredible talent of those that performed during the festival. Pop said, “you can make Blues out of a personal thing, it’s according to how you feel, Blues is low down gutbucket stuff.”

Tim Eaton owns the Legendary Studio East in Charlotte, back in the day it was the producer, he has introduced me to some of our music legends. I recall doing a series of recordings at the studio; I noticed that the mic I was using was a U-47 Telefunken, to say that’s a good mic would be a significant understatement. Johnny Cash, James Brown and many others had used the same U-47 that I was using. Yes, I think that is cool as well.

The talented stage performers, actors, and filmmakers in the Carolinas are creative, hardworking and committed to producing something heartfelt and spectacular.

Okay, It’s true, I love Fridays and the whims that come with it, and now I’m off to see another show.