#just in case you haven’t cried enough the last few days

[youwannadance]

spoiler: they never got to be consuegros

[so-much-for-the-seashells]

The Fun Kind of Sparring Pt. 2

Soldier Boy (The Boys) x Reader

(Aka minors do NOT interact with this post)

A/N: Sooooooo… did ya miss me?? Heh. My down stairs brain has been exercised, that’s for sure. Took five but now I’m trying to change lives 💪

Anyways, as always, all interaction, especially commentary/tags, is extremely appreciated! It really makes my day to hear that people like what I’m putting out there.

Content Warning: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ If you thought the last one was diddle-that-skittle-worthy, this one… I think I’m going to need to take a cold shower. I mean, my man doesn’t stop talking. I will say he’s really sweet to the reader. A few things he says sound more like him in canon, but overall he’s really sweet. Look, guys, life is lifing rn so I just needed a sweet hot old man to talk me through it 🤷‍♀️

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Previously on The Fun Kind of Sparring

"Good girl," he praises, and it's all I can do not to keen. I have to be soaked through my shorts by now, there's no way. "Well, what l'd do next... that's simple. I'd fuck her until she cried, and then I'd keep going. And I'd keep going until the only thing she can remember is my name, until she's gooey and clingy and a sweet little fucked out thing, all for me," he finishes, his grin from before returning back to his face. I'm losing it. I can't think straight. And yet- he's still waiting for me to make the first move. Son of a bitch.

"O-okay," I clear my throat, unable to find my senses. "And if that hypothetical girl was me?" We both know it's me, I just need to hear it.

"Well in that case I think l'd be the luckiest bastard who ever lived," he says sincerely, looking at me with a gaze that can only be described as pure adoration and lust. Yep. That's it for me. I lean up and kiss him with as much force as I can muster.

A strand of spit connects our lips when we part, and if I hadn’t heard him say all those dirty things I’d think it was the most erotic thing imaginable. It’s certainly a close second, though.

He crashes his lips back to mine once the strand breaks, demanding access that I could never be strong enough not to give. He explores my mouth with great fervor, silencing the small whimpers and whines trying to tear themselves from my throat. Once he’s sure I’m breathless he moves down, planting a row of kisses to my jaw before kissing down my neck, biting and sucking dark marks at the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

But through the lust induced haze that’s already clouding my brain I can only remember one thing.

“Uh, Ben?” my voice is unrecognizable, breathy and high.

“Yeah?” He says into my collarbone where he’s been leaving more love bites.

“What about you? Don’t you get to come in the story?”

“Oh, you’re sweet on me, huh, baby? Don’t you worry about me sweet girl, that’ll come later- no pun intended.”

“Oh, okay,” I mumble, tugging him up by the hair so I can kiss him again. “I could kiss you forever,” I say. And it sounds stupid, but his plush pink lips are just too good to be true.

“That can be arranged, sweetheart,” he smirks, leaning down to kiss me again. There’s just no feeling like it. I reach for the hem of his grey sweatpants, but he grunts, pulling away. I look at him, eyes wide with confusion.

“Sugar, as much as I’d love to give some sad sap the chance of walking in on this, I think it’s better we move this to my room.”

“Oh, okay,” I concede.

“Trust me,” he says, almost… shifty? Whatever. I’m too horny to decipher his gaze at the moment. I let him all but pick me up off the floor, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror embellished wall: my face is sweaty and splotchy, hair already a wreck, hickies everywhere on my neck and shoulders. Holy hell. I haven’t even gotten laid yet, and I look like I went nine rounds in a porno. Motherfucker. Me-fucker, in a minute. Good god.

“I think I’m an artist,” he says smugly from behind me, admiring the blues and purples on my neck and shoulders, and catching my gaze in the mirror. He presses his bulge to my ass, at which I gasp. He’s huge. I can already tell. How the fuck does he even-? I don’t even know how I’m going to finish that question.

“C’mon sweetheart, my room ain’t far.”

“Okay,” I mumble, stuck on the absent feeling of his bulge against me. “But the floor was so hot,” I pout.

“Don’t I know it, sweets,” he grins. “But I’ve got big plans for you, if you remember.”

I moan softly at the memory of his dirty words

“Attagirl.” The shit eating grin from before is right back on his face. “Now c’mon, sweets,” he tugs my hand in his, practically dragging me out of the gym. Before I know it I’m laying on my back in his soft bed, him over me. He somehow kisses me both soft and slow, and rough and fast, and it’s almost impossible to breath. Especially as he adds more to the canvas he’s made of my body.

“Can I?” he asks, tugging at the hem of my shirt. I nod, and pulls it up over my head, obviously enjoying what he finds under it.

“Of course my pretty girl has pretty tits too, I shouldn’t even be surprised, but”-he kisses the tops of each of my breasts-“damn, baby.”

I blush at his praise, unable to help myself. “Can I take off this cute little bra?” he asks.

“Mhm,” I say, hoping that he’ll just rip it off. But instead of being raucous he gently unclasps it from behind, teasing it off of me. He trails lower with his lips, lavishing my breasts in attention that leaves them perky and alert once he leaves them for my stomach.

I can’t help but start giggling at the feeling of his scratchy beard on my stomach as he continues his trek of kisses and such southward. “What’s funny?” he asks, obviously amused by my laughter. I can only giggle harder because he seems to catch on, now intentionally scratching at me with it. He starts kissing lower and lower, and eventually my giggles dissolve into moans as he nips at the juncture of my thigh and pelvis.

“So sweet,” he mumbles, tugging at the waist band of my shorts. He pulls both them and my underwear off in one go. “Oh, sweets,” he breathes. “You this wet all for me?”

I squeak, unable to respond to the dark, lust-filled look in his eyes as he asks. Thankfully the question is rhetorical, because my brain is already starting to get fuzzy.

He gingerly pulls off my shoes and socks, before pressing featherlight kisses to and massaging up my left leg. Just as he reaches my sopping heat does he stop, biting the squishy flesh of the inside of my thigh before returning back down on my right leg.

“Ben,” I whine impatiently, unsure of how much more of this teasing I can take before I just come without him doing anything.

He just tuts at me before continuing his ministrations. And good grief does he know what buttons to press, because my legs already feel like jello in his hands.

Finally he bites my other thigh, and I’m all but shaking with how eager I am for him to do something, anything to me. And he seems to be more than happy to comply.

“Listen, if you tell me to stop, I’ll stop,” he says roughly, sincerely, as his cheek rests against the inside of my thigh.

“O-okay?” I say, my tone far past breathy.

“That’s my girl,” he grins before diving in.

It’s like nothing I’ve felt before. It feels like he’s lit orgasmic fireworks, like far too much and not enough all at once, like… it’s fucking inexplainable. Especially while I’m physically squirming from how good it feels, while he only needs one big hand splayed over my stomach to keep me down. I couldn’t even tell you what I’m moaning between the incoherent mess of his one syllable name and the whines he’s pulling out of me.

It’s incredible. And he’s so methodical, so good at it. Eighty odd years of experience will do it to you I guess, but this is like, next level.

And before I know it my stomach is tightening in on itself, and I try to warn him. I really do. But he doesn’t even need me to warn him. Instead he takes his hand off my stomach and places both on either of my thighs, locking me in place around his head. And before I know it, his tongue thrusting in and out of me and his nose and facial hair rubbing on my clit have me coming with a loud cry of his name. I’m physically shaking by the end of it from how he continues to fuck me through it, lapping up every last drop.

The thing about Ben is that he does everything with great fervor. Passion, really, except he thinks that’s too feminine a word. There just has to be a certain exceptionality to the way he does things. When he snorts a line of coke, the line had better be four times longer than anyone else’s. When he performed back in the day, it had to be more grandiose than Queen, more ostentatious than Madonna. When he eats pussy, it has to be fucking leagues ahead of any other man or woman in the entire world.

And man oh man does he deliver. I think I come again, but it’s hard to tell from how intense the initial orgasm was and how fuzzy the overstimulation is making my brain. But he eventually pulls back, once again resting his stubbled cheek on the inside of my thigh, my come glistening on his jaw and mouth. It’s a sight of debauchery in its purest-or should I say filthiest- form. I’m panting, trying to ground myself as he smugly smirks at me, his greens eyes sparkling like cut emeralds.

“Y’like that, sweetheart?” he asks, knowing damn well I do. And yes, he’s cocky as fuck, but… he’s not wrong.

“Yes,” I mumble.

“Good girl,” and at that I clench around nothing. And he does not fail to notice.

“Aww, my sweet girl likes being a good girl,” he observes, languidly running a knuckle through my folds. I gasp, and he chuckles. “Easy.”

He surprises me by thrusting one finger in- and like he said, it wouldn’t do much with how wet I was. So he gives me a second, and I start to feel it, especially when he hits my g-spot on every languid thrust, eliciting tinny moans from me. The tinny moans get louder when he starts scissoring his fingers inside of me, opening me up as far as he sees fit. “Gotta get you ready for me,” he explains, spitting on his other hand before brining his thumb to my clit. I’m beyond fucked once the rough pad of his thumb meets my sensitive bud, gasping his name and arching my back.

“You’re taking ‘em so well, sweet girl. Gonna give you another,” he tells me before adding a third finger and rubbing on my clit even faster. I barely last three minutes of this before I come for the second-third?- time with a weak cry of his name, still ready for more. I’m flustered from how easy it was to make me come, and his words certainly don’t soothe my blush.

“Oh, look at this pretty pussy gushin’ f’me, she’s too good to me,” he groans, slowly thrusting his fingers in and out to prolong my bliss. “Aww sweet girl, why’re you embarrassed, huh? I think my new favorite color is pink cause of your sweet cheeks. My pretty girl, my perfect girl.”

My mind is so fuzzy. Ben- Soldier Boy- is literally praising me whereas he calls anyone else a disappointment or a whore. And he’s making me feel so good, not only because of the incredible sex but with the way he’s treating me.

He kisses me again before he stands up, and I can taste myself on him. I don’t mind though, because his lips, his tongue… I can hardly account for my senses, much less comprehend the taste of myself. He stares at me and finally takes the waistband of his sweatpants in his hands. I can’t help the way my jaw drops as he finally pulls them and his boxers down, and naturally he gives me his signature smirk.

The bottom line is that he’s even bigger than I had thought earlier. Like, this is a size I thought only dildos came in, not the real thing. It’s long, it’s thick, and it’s rock hard. His eyes are trained on mine, so naturally he catches me gaping and laughs. Jackass.

“You know that not all of that is going to fit, right?” I ask, a little nervous.

“We’ll see about that,” he says, cocksure. I can’t help but gulp involuntarily, but once he brings his lips back down to mine I’m right back into my whipped frenzy, pouting and following his lips like a puppy when he pulls away, rummaging in his bedside drawer but talking all the while.

“Don’t worry, m’gonna give you what you want, just gotta ease you into it, okay? Ain’t gonna treat you like a loosened whore, I could never. My sweet girl. Didn’t bring you in here for nothing, wanted this.” He holds up a small bottle, and that’s when I get it. He needed the damn lube. That’s why he wanted to come back here. Not a big connection, but for someone who’s ready to let him doin all sorts of unspeakable things to her and thank him for it, it’s a revolutionary revelation.

“Oh-oh,” I say, my voice breaking when I watch him fist himself a few times.

“Gonna make it feel so good for you,” he mumbles, rubbing a generous amount of lube up and down his length. As if it hasn’t already been beyond good. “Tell you what, baby, I want you to ride me, just to start. Y’can adjust on your own time, take it as slow as you need, okay sweet girl? ‘Cause if I’m on top… I don’t think I can make any promises.” At least he’s honest. The horny part of me wants him to just go ahead and rail me within an inch of my life, but the small, annoying, rational part of me recognizes how huge he is. He sits down next to me on the bed, comfortably resting against the pilos and the headboard. His legs are splayed, showing off the endearing curve to them.

It takes a lot out of my already fucked out self to move two inches and straddle him, but I do. He smiles, genuinely smiles, and I can’t help but smile back.

“Take it easy, sweet girl,” he tells me. “We’ve got all night. You just take all the time you need.” I’m so turned on by how sweet he is, I genuinely can’t even help it.

“Okay,” I mumble, reaching for his cock, feeling it in my hands. It’s just a little thicker than the grip of one of my hands- definitely thicker than anything I’ve ever had, but not as scary as I thought. I rub the leaking precum over his tip, because even though he’s already poured a more than generous amount of lube on himself I can’t be too sure. Not to mention the delicious gasps he’s making at every touch are enough to just do this for the next six hours.

But finally, finally I’m ready. I position myself over it, my arms encircling Ben’s wide, freckled shoulders.

And then I slowly, ever so slowly sink down on the tip. We both moan at the newfound sensation, and I physically have to stop for a second. He’s just so big. All of him is, from his ego to his overall stature, but inside me? He’s huge, and the stretch is beyond satiating.

“You okay, sweets?” he asks, recovering quicker than me.

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“Good girl,” he kisses me on the lips. The distraction of the kiss lets me move more comfortably down his length. I make it a little bit more before I have to stop again. “You’re squeezing me so good, this pussy was made for me,” he groans when I stop, and I hide my own noises into the crook of his shoulder.

“Ben?” I mumble.

“Yeah?”

“I need help,” I whine, keeping my face hidden to hide my embarrassment.

“Aww, sweetpea,” he lets out a small laugh despite himself, furthering my angry red blush. “C’mere, look at me,” I do as he says, my thighs sore from keeping me up as I do so.

“No need to be embarrassed with me, sugar,” he says softly, before bring my lips to his, a big hand cupping the side of my head. I barely notice his other hand on my hip until he slowly starts guiding me down on him, lifting me up and down where I’m and pushing me down further and further as he does so. He muffles my whimpers and whines into the kiss, kissing me so long that I forget what it’s like to breathe.

Once he’s bottomed out and I’m properly seated on his lap does he pull away, letting me moan as loud as I need to.

“How do you feel?” he asks, his own voice strained.

“Full,” I mumble, because it’s true. He’s so all consuming in this moment, all I can concentrate on is how he fills me to the brim.

He twitches inside of me at that, his brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothin’ baby, you just can’t be throwing around words like that,” he groans.

“You asked,” I protest.

“I know,” he retorts, kissing me again. After a few moments of sitting there on his lap, I tell him I’m ready to move a little.

“You need help, sweets?” he asks, giving me a knowing look. And I want to say no, that much is probably written on my face. Want to show him that I’m capable of bouncing on his enormous cock, but I sincerely don’t think I am.

“Maybe,” I concede sheepishly.

“That’s okay, baby,” he smiles gently, grabbing me by the hips. He slowly lifts me up his length, and I can feel my walls trying to contract around him as he moves me up, clenching him like a vice. A soft groan leaves his lips whilst various whimpers leave mine.

He keeps this gentle pace, so slow that I can feel every single inch of him slide in and slip out. Slowly the burn from the initial stretch disipates into pure pleasure that leaves me whispering his name every time he bottoms out. But eventually it’s not enough, because the thoughts of his promises creep into my empty mind, his promises of fucking me. Until I cry, until I can only remember his name and nothing else.

“Ben,” I mumble, my head still resting in the crook of his neck as he eases me up and down. “I’m ready.”

“Ready for what, pretty girl?”

Jackass. He knows damn well what, I can hear it in his voice. “I don’t want to say it,” I whine. He pulls me back so we’re eye to eye, resting me on his lap.

“I think you’re gonna have to,” he’s grinning ear to ear.

I pout, my hands resting on his chest.

“C’mon baby,” he prods, thumbing my lower lip. I take his thumb into my mouth, sucking on it. It clearly takes a lot out of him to take his finger out of my mouth, he seems to be turned on by the action.

“Fine. I want you to fuck me,” I tell him, crossing my arms.

“You’re lucky I like you so much. If anyone else were acting this bratty with me I think I’d have to teach them a lesson,” he smirks, the cocky promise clear in his eyes. Before I can retort he slips out of me, and I whine at the emptiness. I don’t like it.

Thankfully I don’t have to wait long because he lays me down, resting over me in a plank just as he was when we were “sparring.”

“Y’trust me?” His thumb comes up to meet my pulse point, his other fingers grazing across the bitten flesh of the juncture of my neck and shoulder, creating the most delicious sting. I nod frantically. “Words, baby.”

“Yes,” I whisper. His presses down barely a fraction harder, and yet it’s already enough to set me off even while being empty.

“I need you to promise me something, gorgeous,” he says, making the most intense eye contact I’ve ever seen from him.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“If you need me to stop, you tell me, okay?” His eyes are slightly wide, indicating how important to him this is. It’s easy to say: “Okay,” he has all of my trust. I kiss him for good measure, and we’re back. Fireworks gone off again halfway through as I take initiative to deepen the kiss before he can. But it doesn’t matter, because he’s stronger and so all consuming, and before I know it my mind is blank again. Blank and wanting one thing: him.

He gets up and I whine, not wanting him away from him. “Miss me already? My clingy girl,” he says affectionately, grabbing a pillow and putting it under my hips, kissing my stomach.

Settling above me once again, he lifts my legs up so that my ankles are resting on his shoulders, nearly bending me in half. But I let him, I’ll be as malleable ad he needs me to be if it’ll help him deliver on those promises.

“You sure you want this, sweets? Last chance to back out,” he tells me. I can’t believe he has the audacity to let the thought of me wanting to back out cross his mind. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want him.

“I’m so sure. Fuck me, please,” I tell him. This is the strongest my voice has been this far, and I think he gets the memo.

“As you wish,” he grins, before sheathing himself in me in one go. I scream his name, but the noise is cut off by all air leaving my body as he thrusts into me at a literal superhuman pace. The sounds are ungodly, with every thrust a broken moan and the occasional grunt from him. He finds my g-spot with ease, slamming into it with every thrust ad he pounds me into his mattress.

“You sounds so pretty, maybe we should look into making one of those Internet videos.” I moan at the idea. I didn’t think starring in a porno would be my thing until he and his transatlantic 1950s accent suggested it.

“Yeah, everyone would want a piece of this pussy. But she’s all mine,” those last three words are punctuated with particularly hard, possessive thrusts that leave me gasping his name.

He brings his hand up to my throat once more, and the moment his thumb grazes my pulse point as it did before I realize just how much I want to come. “You like that, huh. Such a good girl,” I clench around him as he presses light pressure to my throat, and even though he’s not even done anything with my clit and it’s been maybe two minutes I’m coming hard and all-consumingly. It washes over me in waves that match Ben’s pace, seemingly getting more intense as he keeps fucking me.

“Oh sweetheart, you look so gorgeous when you make a mess of my dick. I’m hopin’ to see that five more times before the end of the night,” he tells me, but I barely hear him, too engulfed in my pleasure. He somehow adjusts the pillow under me while continuing his incessant pace and his grip on my throat and the new angle has me crying from how good it is.

“Aww, what’s the matter sweets?” he coos, knowing damn well what the matter is. It’s just too good.

“You’re so deep,” I sob, unable to gain my bearings because of how full I feel.

“Don’t I know it,” he groans, going impossibly harder. Eventually he takes his hand from my throat, and I whine, until he brings it down to my clit.

“Make it a good one, beautiful,” he winks with a click of his tongue before skillfully rubbing circles into my sensitive bud.

“Ben, it’s too much-,” I protest, but all it takes is a few more circles and I’m coming undone around him again. I’m both hyperaware of my tears soaking my face and the burn from the position of my legs but also on the verge of unconsciousness with how good it all feels. My legs are quivering around him but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“You’re okay, sweet girl, taking it so well,” he mumbles against my lips, kissing away my tears. I’d never had a lay so good that the guy had to reassure me that I was okay because I was shaking and crying uncontrollably from just how good it was. But then again, prior to tonight, I’d never had a lay with Ben.

He quickly brings me to the edge again, his fingers fast on my clit and his thrusts deeper than ever. When I come I can’t say his name, I can’t say much of anything because my mind is blank. Fuzzy, syrupy, I feel almost soft while the only noises I can make are little whimpers as he just keeps going. And I fucking love it.

“‘m gonna come,” he warns, and I muster enough of my bearings to tell him ‘please.’ He gladly obliges, coming with a loud grunt of my name, bottoming out so far inside me that he may damn well be in my cervix. I can feel it leaking out of me, and even in my fucked out stupor I can remember to moan. It’s the hottest feeling I’ve ever felt. He slowly pulls out then, gently easing my legs down.

I look up at him with questioning eyes, wondering why he doesn’t go for another three like he was planning to.

“Don’t want to break you on the first night, sugar,” he says, sweetly cupping my face in his hands. “I know you don’t feel it right now but you’re gonna be real sore in a couple hours.”

I pout, unsure of how to react to that. My legs are still shaking and while I do feel tired I’m still turned on.

Okay, maybe there’s dull ache.

“Oh, don’t pout. There’s other nights, and I’m gonna take care of you,” he smiles softly.

“Okay,” I whisper, finally regaining enough sense to talk.

He leans down to kiss me, softly this time. I melt into the kiss, and that’s when I realize: I don’t just want Ben. I think the feelings might be deeper. Maybe I… love? him.

But hey. There’s other nights.

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As a bonus, cause I love y’all: if we can get 250 notes on this post by the end of the poll time then I will do a spicy soldier boy fic with whichever of these gets the most votes. If we can somehow get to 400 I’ll do the top two! No kink shaming, okay? 🥹🎀

In the meantime, if you want more Soldier Boy try Taming the Supe!! <3

For fans of Big Sky!Jensen, part two of 2SC (aka my favorite project thus far) should be coming out next!

And don’t forget, asks/requests/thoughts/thots are always open!!

[kikyoupdates]

Otherworldly Attraction ⭑˚🔮⭑ 𝑠𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

yandere!jjk x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, isekai, jujutsu kaisen x fem!reader, slowburn, slowburn yandere

You don't know how or why, but you've been isekai'd into the world of Jujutsu Kaisen. Although your first instinct is to stay away from the plot, you've been blessed with an abnormal amount of cursed energy, and for better or worse, you find yourself sucked into the storyline. You decide that you may as well use your newfound powers for the greater good, and if you're lucky, you might succeed in rewriting some of the characters' fates. But it turns out that your presence in this world is an even bigger deal than you first thought, and soon, everyone wants to make you theirs.

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“Draw two,” Sasaki says. 

“I’ll add another draw two. So now [Name] has to draw four,” Iguchi follows up, throwing another card onto the pile.

You stare at the two cards left in your hand, and then you cast a glance beside you, over to poor Itadori, who’s easily holding more than ten. Part of you wonders if you should be nice and spare him, since he’s clearly suffering more than enough already, but then again, this is Uno. 

Uno is just about as cutthroat as it gets. 

“Sorry,” you mumble, wincing a bit as you add another card onto the pile. “I still have a draw four card left… which means Itadori has to pick up eight cards in total. Also, um, Uno.” 

“No way!” he cries out, and you swear you see his soul leave his body. 

Sasaki throws her head back and starts laughing. “Man, Itadori, you stink at this! I swear you’ve placed last every single time we’ve played. It’s actually kind of impressive how unlucky you can be sometimes.”

“I haven’t lost yet,” Itadori stubbornly refutes, but of course, within the next round, you win, and Sasaki and Iguchi quickly follow suit. 

You watch as Itadori’s shoulders slump in defeat. 

“Fine, now I lost,” he sighs. Most people would probably be pretty frustrated seeing as he’s lost more than four—or is it five games in a row now? In any case, Uno tends to ruin friendships and drive people insane, but since this is Itadori, it only takes a few brief moments of adorable sulking for him to perk up again. “Alright, well, I’m ready for the next round!” 

Iguchi shakes his head. “Sorry, but no more. I’m starting to feel bad about beating you this badly.” 

“Really?” Sasaki blinks. “I’m having the time of my life.” 

“You don’t always have to voice your intrusive thoughts aloud, Sasaki.” 

“We can play more next time,” you say, gently patting Itadori on the shoulder. “And I’m sure you’ll win a bunch then. Enough to make up for all the losses from today.” 

“Doubt it,” Sasaki muses. 

“Sasaki, that’s seriously enough out of you,” Iguchi sighs.

“Alright, fine,” Itadori relents. He quickly glances towards the clock on the wall. “I guess it’s about time for me to head out anyway. It’d be nice to get to the hospital early for a change.” 

More than a week has passed since you first awoke in this world, and during that time, you’ve spent pretty much every day hanging out with Itadori. It’s quite literally a dream come to true to be able to talk to him like this. From the moment you discovered you attended the same school, you were already starstruck, but you figured you would only ever be able to stare at him longingly, from afar. Never in a million years did you imagine that you would actually become his friend. 

Even though your friendship is destined to be cut short, you’re determined to enjoy these blissful moments for as long as you can.

You and Itadori say goodbye to Sasaki and Iguchi, and the two of you walk out of the building together, stopping by a vending machine to grab some canned drinks. You crack your can open and sit down next to him, relishing in the fresh air paired with the cool liquid running down your throat. 

“Visiting your grandpa again, right?” you affirm. 

Itadori takes a big gulp, then nods. “Yeah. Same old, I guess. That’s another reason why it’s nice being part of the Occult Research Club. A lot of people have pestered me to join athletic clubs, but they run way too late. I wouldn’t be able to make it down to the hospital in time for visiting hours. It just works out better this way. Plus, hanging out with those guys is a lot of fun.”

“It’s nice that you always make an effort to visit him,” you say, smiling gently. “I’m sure he really appreciates the time he gets to spend with you. It must mean a lot to him.” 

“Well, I’m the only one he has left, so I’d feel really crappy if he had to spend every day all on his own.”

“Still. Not everyone would make sure to visit every single day, like you do. You’re really kind. You’re a good person, Itadori.” 

You hold your smile as you take another sip of your drink, and you don’t notice that Itadori is staring at you wide-eyed, at least, not until you turn and realize he’s nearly breathing down your neck. 

“Um,” you say, feeling a bit embarrassed by how close he is, “y-yes? Is there… something on my face?” 

Itadori scratches his neck. “Uh. This might sound like a bit of a weird request and all, but I was just wondering if… maybe you wanted to come with me today?” 

“Come with you?” 

“Yeah. To visit my gramps. Since we got to talking and all, I figured maybe he’d like to see someone other than me for a change. To be honest, I don’t think he has much longer left. He’s always snapping at me for visiting him, saying I shouldn’t waste my time going to a depressing place like that, and that I should be spending time in clubs with my friends instead. Maybe he’ll feel better if he sees me bring a friend along. He won’t worry that I’m lonely, like he is.” 

You proceed to just stare at him, and although you didn’t intend for your gaze to be unsettling, Itadori lets out a nervous chuckle and quickly shakes his head.

“Aw, man, what am I even saying? Sorry. That was kind of weird. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to waste your free time going to a hospital, of all places. I didn’t mean to try and pressure you into anything. Just forget what I—” 

“I'll go,” you blurt. “If you're sure you want me to come with you, then yes. I'd be happy to meet your grandpa.”

Itadori blinks rapidly, clearly bewildered, but it doesn’t take long for one of those ridiculously cute smiles to spread across his lips. 

“Awesome! Thanks so much, [Name]. That’s really cool of you. I feel like you’re always the one doing me favors, even though it should be the other way around.” 

“It’s not a favor,” you reassure. You pause, smiling shyly. “I really like spending time with you, after all.” 

Itadori’s smile shows no signs of disappearing, and together, you make the trip to Sugisawa Hospital, where his grandfather is currently admitted. 

You have to admit, you feel a little nervous. His grandfather is his only remaining family, and naturally, you want to make a good impression. Even more so because you know that he doesn’t have much time left. You may not be able to stay by Itadori’s side once the canon plot begins, but at least for now, you’d like to put his grandfather at ease. 

“Don’t worry,” Itadori reassures, smiling brightly. “He might seem like a crabby old man at first, but he’s not actually that bad. I know he’ll be happy to see me with a friend.” 

You smile back and quickly nod, and after a moment’s delay, Itadori slides the door open. 

“...you again, Yuji?” a gruff voice immediately barks out. “I thought I told you to quit wasting your time stopping by. Don’t you have anything better to do? What about your school club?” 

Itadori steps into the room first, rolling his eyes as if this kind of reaction is typical, but once you follow behind him and make your presence known, his grandfather’s expression does a full one-eighty. 

“Oh,” he blinks. “Who’s this now? Yuji, don’t tell me… you finally managed to get yourself a girlfriend? Good going, kid. I didn’t know you had it in you.” 

Itadori blushes a bit, but his embarrassment dissolves once he lets out a sigh. “Cool it, old man. Don’t make me regret bringing her. This is [Name]. She’s my friend. You always seem so worried about me not spending enough time with other people, so I invited her to come, and she accepted. Make sure to be nice to her, okay?” 

“It’s very nice to meet you, sir,” you say, bowing your head. “I hope me being here isn’t an inconvenience.” 

“Itadori Wasuke,” his grandfather introduces. You watch as he sits up a bit straighter in his hospital bed. “Hm. Are you sure you’re not dating Yuji? You seem like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You’ve got manners, unlike this brat. Hey, Yuji. Don’t be stupid. You don’t want to lose a pretty girl like her to someone else.” 

Itadori rolls his eyes again. “It might be easier said than done, but try to ignore him. Sometimes I think he just says things because he likes hearing the sound of his own voice.” 

“See that?” Wasuke points. “Do you see how this ungrateful grandson of mine treats me?” 

You bite back a chuckle. Naturally, you’ve already gotten a glimpse of what their relationship is like, well before meeting either of them in person. Wasuke may have a sharp tongue, but it’s clear that he loves his grandson, and he wants him to have a good life. He wants him to be surrounded by people who care for him, and even though Itadori will face plenty of hardship in the future, the fact remains that he will have plenty of friends who are willing to stand by his side. 

“Itadori’s a really good guy,” you say, lacing your hands together and smiling. “Everyone likes him. He’s got a lot of other friends besides me. And I know he’ll make countless more friends from here on out.” 

You pause to gauge their reactions. Itadori is blinking at you, perhaps a bit flustered by your sudden declaration, and Wasuke’s expression hasn’t really changed much, but you notice that his eyes are a bit wider than they were a second ago. 

It’s awfully subtle, but for just a brief moment, a smile rises to Wasuke’s lips. 

“Is that so?” he chuckles. “Thank you for saying that, young lady. I’ll admit that it brings me some relief. I’m glad Yuji isn’t just wasting the best years of his life tending to a sickly old man like me. If he’s got friends like you who speak so highly of him… then I guess he must be doing something right.” 

“No way,” Itadori marvels. “Did you just compliment me, gramps?” 

“Don’t get used to it.” 

“Still! You actually said something kind of nice for a change!” 

“Alright, I take back everything I just said.” 

The two of them go back and forth like this for a while longer, and you’re perfectly content to just stand there and watch. It’d be nice if Wasuke could stick around longer. It’d be nice if Itadori didn’t have to lose the only family he has left. But without a doubt, Wasuke will live on in his heart, and you get the feeling that even when he passes, he’ll be watching over him for a long, long time. 

Wasuke clears his throat. “Seriously, though. If you don’t act fast enough, by the time you know it, [Name] will be dating someone else. Don’t live a life filled with regrets, kid.” 

“...gramps, come on.” 

Uh-oh.

You’re not an idiot, so of course, you know what this means. The wooden box he’s referring to is where Sukuna’s finger was being kept. Up until Itadori found it, that is. 

Which can only mean that soon—like, very soon—the main plotline will begin to unfold. 

You nervously chew on your lip. Truth to be told, you want absolutely nothing to do with that stinky finger. You already know that everything will be fine until the Occult Club members remove the seal, but still. The whole thing just freaks you out, and it’s way too scary to even fathom getting involved in. 

While you struggle to come up with a reasonable excuse, your phone buzzes again. 

Balls. He’s just too goddamn cute. It makes it downright impossible to turn him down. 

With a heavy sigh, you text him that you’re on your way, and you eventually get there, unsurprised to see him standing in front of the same storage box that Fushiguro was frantically searching at the start of the series. 

Itadori grins widely. “Thanks for coming! Here, check this out. Have you ever seen something like this before? It looks kind of supernatural, doesn’t it? I bet Sasaki and Iguchi would go crazy over this.”

He proceeds to hold up a small, visibly old wooden box, and you gulp as he opens it up to reveal the cursed object inside—one of Sukuna’s fingers.

Of course, he doesn’t have the slightest clue what it actually is. It’s completely wrapped up in the seal, making the object inside indiscernible. He probably wouldn’t be grinning ear-to-ear if he knew it was some wrinkly old finger. 

…then again, he swallowed said finger without even hesitating, so maybe he wouldn’t actually care that much. 

“Oh, c-cool,” you say, doing your best to mask your discomfort. “Yeah, it definitely gives off that occult vibe. I’m sure the other club members would like it a lot.” 

“I really wonder what it’s even supposed to be, though.” Itadori frowns as he picks up the sealed finger—much to your horror—and leans in closer to get a better look at it. “Yep, I honestly have no idea. You got any theories, [Name]?”

Without warning, he tosses the cursed object towards you, and out of pure reflex, you lurch forward to catch it. 

The second it falls into your hands, you experience a sense of dread that is almost too nauseating to put into words. 

It’s only for a moment, but the scene before your eyes changes. All of a sudden, you feel something wet sloshing around your feet, and you look down to find crimson liquid, red water, or perhaps—blood. 

You try to choke out a few words, but no sound escapes your lips. You’re understandably disoriented, so your gaze then pans upwards, and to say that you’re terror-struck would still have been an understatement. 

Right there, sitting on top of a pile of skeletons, is Sukuna.

It seems as though you’ve lost the ability to speak, but even if you could speak, you doubt you would have been able to find the right words. You’re too overwhelmed with fear to even think clearly, and right before you collapse onto your knees, just shy of a meltdown, Sukuna knits his brows together and leans forward.

“...who are you?”

You snap out of it with a gasp, only to find that you’re still standing in front of Itadori, who has a worried look on his face. 

“[Name]?” he frowns. “What’s wrong? You don’t look so good. Sorry, did I freak you out by tossing that thing at you? I probably shouldn’t have done that. I get why you’d be startled.” 

He crouches down to pick up the cursed object, which you apparently dropped to the ground without even realizing it. You place a hand over your chest, exhaling shakily. Your heart is pounding relentlessly, and you feel dizzy, like you might pass out at any given moment.

Just now… that was Sukuna’s Innate Domain, right? But how is that even possible? He hasn’t even been incarnated through Itadori yet…

You swallow hard. That finger is completely sealed. Even though the seal is old enough to be torn off by even a regular human—like Sasaki, for instance—Sukuna shouldn’t have appeared before you. Or at the very least, you shouldn’t have been able to see him. 

Maybe it was just a strange vision. Maybe the shock induced some kind of hallucination, or something. None of this makes any sense in the first place. The fact that you’ve been transported into the world of Jujutsu Kaisen.

Itadori places the cursed object back inside the box, then tucks it into his pocket. “Sorry again for catching you off guard like that. Are you okay? You look a bit faint. That was my bad. You even mentioned before that you don’t really like scary stuff, so I should have thought twice before doing that.” 

“I’m okay,” you reassure, and it’s true. You feel perfectly fine now. That sensation of choking up and being overcome with fear is already a thing of the past. It seems more and more likely that it was probably all in your head. 

Yeah.

You must have just been imagining things. 

“Kokkuri, Kokkuri, please tell us… which creature is the school council president weaker than?!” 

Ah. So, it’s finally starting. 

The question is all too familiar, of course, and as you allow the coin to be guided around the board, the word formed is exactly what you expected. 

“What? A fish?” everyone laughs in response, and just like in the canon series, the door abruptly slides open, revealing none other than the student council president himself. 

He starts berating everyone in the room, of course, but you're not really paying attention. 

Instead, you gaze at Itadori with a wistful smile, realizing that after today, you will no longer be part of his life.

There's no place for you by his side. It's simply too dangerous, and even if you were strong enough, you can't risk upsetting the delicate balance of this world. Everything will unfold the way it's supposed to, which means that your role here, albeit small as it was, is over. 

…or is it?

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[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds- Part 9

Former (ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, BabyDaddy! Jay Halstead x Reader

When an undercover op leaves Jay struggling you don't leave him to face it alone

Warnings: talks of violence, hate crimes

“So are we doing a co-ed baby shower or am I gonna be the only guy there?” Kevin asked, sitting on the edge of your desk with a broad grin. You pushed your chair back a little to look up at him and shook your head with a laugh “Didn’t really think it was an issue of guy or gal. If anyone who loves me and Jay wants to come celebrate our daughter, they’re welcome to”

He nodded “Well then you know I’m gonna be there. Vanessa and Jordan have even sent gifts once they found out she was a girl and you know uncle Kev has to make sure she’s looking right” time he said that apparently Addy wanted to make her opinion known because you could feel what was either her elbow or knee running across your stomach. Kevin watched the movement with a small smile until you grabbed his hand and felt around a little before placing it right on top of her movements. His smile grew when he felt her “Damn. She’s as strong as her mama”

Kevin was one person you hadn’t worried about judging you in the least from the word go in any of this. He’d always had the biggest heart and if he cared about you? He’d go to war in a heartbeat. “I’m sorry we haven’t really gotten to spend any time together in the last few months Kev. I swear you’re still my best friend” you told him and he laughed lightly, turning his hand from holding your stomach to holding yours “I know lil mama. You’ve been going through a lot. I’m just glad it seems to be calming down a little because I was worried there for a while”

You cut your eyes around to where Hailey was talking to Kim, Hank was on the phone and Adam was gone with Jay. “Did everyone notice how insane my emotions were?” he shrugged “Upton pushed it off on hormones anytime anyone mentioned it so they wouldn’t push the subject but I know you. You know I love Jay and Mouse but if those two would’ve put enough stress on you that something would’ve happened to you two? I would’ve been helping Stella drop bodies”

You laughed at the thought of your fire lieutenant sister and detective best friend sneaking onto a military base in an active war zone to go after someone, only after taking out a detective in Chicago. “Neither of them would’ve purposely done that” he nodded “I know but that wouldn’t have helped our feelings” you shook your head “You two are insane, you know that?” he shrugged “You are her sister and damn near mine. We’re just as protective of you as you are of us” 

You gave his hand a squeeze “And I always will be” he winked at you then stood up “In that case since I know I don’t gotta crash next week I’m gonna get back to work” you motioned to your computer “Me too”

Things had gotten better. Things were still pretty silent from Mouse but you hadn’t expected him to exactly be chatty. That man had taken more than anyone should’ve had to in stride and still put your health first. 

The first time you’d gotten an email from him after telling him about Addy you’d nearly cried even if it was just a photo of a crescent moon over the base with one line that said Made me think of you

You’d changed the background of your phone to the photo and planned to keep it like that until Addy was born and took its place. The standing plan was that he’d only call if his unit was moving, his orders changed or his contract got an end date. Beyond that or the emails you sent him he didn’t want any contact and you couldn’t blame him. That was why you always kept the emails short, just told him you hoped he was safe and left it at that. You refused to hurt him worse, even if it made you ache not to tell him at every chance just how much you loved him and hoped like hell you’d get to see his face again one day.

It was about noon, everyone was just finishing up lunch at their desks when Hank came walking out of his office “Listen up. We had a shooting at a mosque on the south side. Three confirmed dead, two on their way to med. Upton and Burgess, go to med and interview the families. See if anyone remembers anything. Kidd see if you can pull anything from any traffic cams or security cams nearby. The rest of us will head to the scene”

You nodded and turned to your computer as everyone started grabbing their jackets. You felt Jay’s hand on the back of your chair before he was leaning over you to gently touch your stomach. “I’ll see you when I get back” “Talking to me or her?” you teased so he kissed the top of your head “You’re carrying her so both”

You heard him turn to catch up with Kevin who he was no doubt riding with so you turned your attention to trying to find any footage you could of the shooter.

___________________

By the time everyone got back to the precinct the knot in your stomach was growing. You’d clocked the posture and formation of the guys the moment you saw it. When you pulled the partial of the tag you’d gotten from the getaway car it had confirmed your fear. It belonged to Matthew Riley, an Army vet who was medically discharged about four years before.

When you dug deeper you found out he’d struggled with PTSD, depression then that turned into substance abuse which in turn caused his wife to leave him and get granted full custody of his two kids. The last social media footprint you could find was on a page for a militia type group that was ranting about the “outsiders” in the country and how they needed to “purify” it.

“Kidd, what ya got?” Voight asked as everyone filed in from the back hallway because you were at the board, adding everything you’d found. Your eyes flickered towards Jay before you ran down everything you’d found out.

“Ok, do we have anything more on this group?” you shook your head “I’ve put in some calls but so far nothing. This is the first big move they’ve made. Considering the gear I couldn’t identify any of the other men and on their site there’s too many to narrow it down before they could hit another target. I’ve got an address on Riley’s ex wife and an A.P.B. out on his car”

Hank nodded “Ruzek and Burgess go talk to the ex. Atwater, Upton and Halstead hit the streets, see if any of your C.I.s may have heard something” “Got it boss” Adam nodded then him and Kim headed for the back hall. 

You grabbed Jay’s hand on the way by “Hey, you good?” you knew how these types of cases affected him in the past. He smiled slightly  “Yeah, I’m good” then slowly pulled his hand out of yours and headed behind Adam and Kim. Kevin patted your shoulder on the way by and Hailey assured you “We’ll keep an eye on him”

The ex wife proved to be a bust. She hadn’t spoken to him since their divorce two years before. “She stuck with him as long as she could. It just became too much” Kim explained from where she sat on Hailey’s desk. Jay hadn’t spoken since him, Kevin and Hailey had come back from talking to C.I.s and you were starting to worry but you weren’t going to say anything.

“Kidd, anything on any of the other members of the group?” Hank asked you so you shook your head “The ones that actually have phones I’ve got but they’re inactive. The ones that have cars I’ve yet to find on any traffic cams. It’s like they’re all hold up somewhere just out of eyesight and that thought alone is scary as hell”

Kim’s phone started ringing so she answered it, looking around as she said “Thank you for letting us know” when she hung up she stood and walked to the board to move one of the victim’s faces over to the deceased slot. “Damn” Kevin breathed. 

Adam ran a hand down his face “How do we find a fricking unit that has just as much, if not more training as we do and doesn’t want to be found?” Jay cut his eyes up “Put a prime new member out in the open for them” you felt your heart drop. Was he really offering to go under?

You could practically feel everyone’s eyes on you when Hank said “You think that’s a good idea Jay?” Jay nodded “C’mon Voight. We set up somewhere with a few other undercovers. Make it big enough and look good enough to get their attention. They’ll find me then we got em”

Your hand went to your stomach without thinking. You wouldn’t interfere with Jay’s job anymore than you’d want him to interfere with yours. That didn’t mean you had to like it and that didn’t mean you wouldn't be keeping Stella and Will on speed dial for the entirety of this op.

Hank nodded slowly “I’ll make some calls and get your uc apartment in line” Jay nodded as Hank walked towards his office. You refused to look anyone in the eye but a pin drop could’ve been heard when Jay stood and walked over to your desk “Hey, can we talk?” you looked up to see he was holding a hand out. Hailey, Kevin, Adam and Kim were all four trying their best to make it look like they weren’t paying attention.

You stood without Jay’s help and walked towards the breakroom. He walked in behind you and shut the door then pulled the blinds. You turned to face him after taking a deep breath. “I don’t fucking like this Jay. The last time you went under like this you and Mouse were up for a week straight after”   

He took a step towards you so you met him halfway, letting him slip his arms around you. He rested one hand on your lower back and one on your stomach “I’ll be ok. It’ll just be a few days but you saw what those guys did. What if that was the beginning? You pulled the videos off their site, saw what their ideas are. We can’t leave them on the street”

You nodded “I know. I know it’s our job. That doesn’t mean I have to fucking like it” he smiled and leaned closer to press a kiss to your temple “Can I ask one favor?” you nodded “Yeah” he pulled away to look down at you “Will you stay with Stel while I do this?”

“Why?” you asked and he moved the hand on your stomach around just enough that Addy reacted to it. “Because you’ll be worried. Here you’ll have everyone around you but when you go home I know your mind will get too loud. With her and Kelly there it wont. Plus if something went wrong they would be there. That helps me focus knowing you two are good”

“Low blow Halstead” you grumbled and he grinned “See? I can play that game too” you shook your head “I’ll text her to let her know” “Thank you”

It was decided Adam would go under with Jay because a two man team taking out a clinic of “outsiders” was more believable than one. While Adam’s undercover persona Jon didn’t have the military background Jay’s undercover persona Curtis did because he didn’t know the things Jay did, you did make Jon’s father former military to make him more attractive to the group.

You sat watching the security footage of the “clinic” from the precinct. The plan was for “Jon” and “Curtis” to attack the clinic around ten and the CPD to barely miss catching them. You had rooted their online manifesto right to the militia group’s front door. All you had to do now was sit back and let it play out.

________________________

Once Voight called it you made sure the false news report would be everywhere online any member of the group looked. They’d have no choice but to find “Jon” and “Curtis” 

You sat at your desk,waiting to get a text from Jay. He was supposed to let you know when he and Adam got back to the uc apartment. Hailey, Kim, Kevin and Hank were on their way back along with a loaner detective from major crimes that worked well with the unit in the past since you couldn’t exactly hit the streets.

You were on the verge of panicking when your phone chimed we’re under. Stay safe. See you soon. That would be the last contact you could have with Jay until the actual meet with the group came down. All other contact would be through Voight or Kevin.

You let out a breath and laid your phone down, running a hand over your stomach. Why had your life gotten so complicated? You couldn’t dwell because all at once the group’s phones started lighting up one by one “Took the bait” you whispered to yourself with a smile before going to work to try to triangulate their locations.

You couldn’t sleep. Why the hell did you expect yourself to be able to sleep? Your baby was planning soccer with your internal organs, the father of said child was undercover waiting to be plucked up by an extremist group with one of your closest friends.

You turned over for what felt like the thousandth time when the door opened of Kelly and Stella’s spare bedroom you were back staying in. You looked over your shoulder to see Stella. “Did I wake you up?” you asked with a grimace. She shook her head “No. I was worried about you”

She walked over and climbed into the bed behind you, sliding her arm around your waist to rest her hand on your stomach. “Mouse will survive this tour. Jay will survive this undercover op. Addy will be the healthy and happy and everything will eventually work out ” “I know” you whispered and she buried her face into your hair “Then sleep because my niece needs it” you laughed lightly and said “Yes ma’am” 

It wasn’t long before you did indeed find yourself lulled to sleep simply by the comfort of being held.

It took exactly two days before Adam and Jay were neck deep with the group and privy to their next target. It was the larger mosque on the north end that was hosting a celebration. Over two hundred people planned to be in attendance. They also didn’t plan to just use guns this time.

The unit’s floor had never been more insane than it currently was. Detectives from Major crimes, a couple marshals and even an agent or two from ATF was slammed into the tight quarters ready to swoop down upon Voight’s all clear. 

You’d had one or two of them doubt your being there with how far along you were until you hacked one agent’s phone while smiling in his face. “What she can’t do in the field she’s learned to do behind a computer” Hank told them with a smug smirk. You shrugged at the agent “That was slow compared to who I learned from”

After that no one doubted you being there and instead was routing questions your way too. Especially when Hank added in one of the detectives that had gone under was your child’s father. That had earned you a look of respect from the marshals at the fact that you were working so calmly under pressure, if only they knew it was a fake it till you make it kind of thing.

_______________________

You watched everyone leave and was left listening to the coms and watching surveillance from the convenience store across the street. You felt your stomach flip when a truck rolled up outside of the mosque and men started to step out. Even in full gear, with a mask on you would recognize Jay anywhere. Next to him you clocked Adam along with half a dozen other men. 

According to the message Adam got out to Hank there were four other men that would plan the explosive while the rest of them were supposed to take out who they could with the firearms. “Hold until my signal. Those are my guys” Hank warned across the coms and you smiled. He was an asshole but his unit was his. 

You saw Jay say something to another man and assumed that was probably Matthew Riley. Damn you wished he had a com to know what was going on. Another car rolled up and that must have been the signal because the men spread out and moved towards the mosque. Four went to the front entrance and four towards the back.

You said a silent prayer when the group with Jay and Adam disappeared from the screen. You didn’t have eyes inside so you would be blind. The sound of automatic gunfire made you flinch right before Voight’s voice “Go go go”

You watched as agents poured out of homes and cars that were around the mosque. You saw Hailey’s blonde hair next to Kevin’s broad frame followed by Kim’s dark brown hair and took a deep breath. Your unit would bring him back. You had to trust that.

Out of the ten members of the group, eight arrests were made. One guy got shot drawing on Hailey and unfortunately Matthew forced Jay’s hand into putting him down.

In total the group had thirty three members. One of the arrests rolled over on the rest of the names and after that addresses were easy to find. Judges were lining up to sign their warrants. It was nearly ten at night by the time the final arrest was made and your unit made it back to the precinct to finish up and head home.

You were talking to Trudy when Hank led the unit up through the back hallway. Adam was first through and he gave you a tired smile then was Kim who smiled “That was exhausting” Hailey walked over to whisper in your ear “He tried to talk Matthew down. Adam said the two spoke a lot over the last couple days” you nodded and she patted your shoulder with a small smile.

Kevin walked over and leaned down to hug you when he walked in “I hate these kind of cases but love when they’re done” you laughed lightly “Yeah, they’re even worse when you’re stuck here”

Jay was last through the door. He looked like he hadn’t slept since the last time you saw him. There was blood splattered on his jeans, what looked like dirt or soot smeared across one side of his face and the look in his eyes told you his mind was anywhere but there. You cut your eyes at Hailey who gave you a small nod. “Everyone head on home” Voight dismissed you all as soon as he saw Jay was in the bullpen as if he was waiting on him. 

You stood up and walked over to where Jay was now leaning against the wall, hands resting on the vest he still wore which alone told you his head wasn’t on right because normally he would’ve already stripped the vest. You didn’t quite touch him, afraid of startling him because you didn’t know how bad it was “Jay?” you called his name lightly and he blinked before his eyes finally focused on you and the look in them softened automatically “Hey”

“Hey” you smiled and held your hand out “You headed home?” he nodded and took your hand. He didn’t say anything as the two of you walked downstairs behind Kevin who looked over his shoulder at you twice. You shrugged because you didn’t really know what Jay needed at that moment so you had to trust he’d let you know.

Once you were outside in the cool night air Kevin wished you both goodnight and headed for his car. You walked with Jay to his truck. “So I’m gonna go home tonight since you’re not under anymore” you spoke and he nodded “Ok” he reached out a hand to your stomach but stopped and curled it closed “I’ll see you later” he spoke low, eyes moving from your stomach to your face. You nodded “If you need anything you know where I am” 

He watched you walk over to your jeep and get in before climbing in his truck. A part of you started to ask if he wanted to stay with you but you weren’t sure that was the right idea either. You sighed as you pulled out onto the road, glancing down at the polaroid and ultrasound on your dash before turning your attention to the road.

You were asleep, curled up on your side  when your phone started ringing. You groaned as you pushed yourself up the bed and tried to find it without opening your eyes. When your hand finally wrapped around it you brought it to your ear and just answered it with a “Kidd”

At first you thought whoever it was had hung up before Jay’s voice finally hit your ears “I’m sorry for waking you up but can I please come over?” you wiped a hand down your face,worry for him pushing sleep out of you. “Of course” “I’m on the way” he replied then hung up.

You laid the phone down then climbed out of bed. You needed to put on sleep pants considering you’d gone to bed in just a maternity camisole, which considering it was winter was probably insane but she was making you a human furnace most night.

_________________

You’d nearly dozed back off on the couch by the time Jay knocked on the front door. You walked over and opened it to let him in and closed it behind him. The moment he crossed the threshold he pulled you into a hug, one hand going to your stomach. “Please don’t take her from me” he begged, voice breaking.

“Jay?” you asked, leaning back as far as you could from his grip to look up at him. Dark circles were under his eyes, that same hollow look still there along with unshed tears. He’d showered and changed but you doubted he’d ate or slept since leaving work.

“What is it?” you asked, feeling your own tears threaten to fall at seeing his. “It broke him losing his kids sweetheart. That’s what made him not care. Everything he saw, everything he did. He could deal with it by going home to his kids but when he lost them he didn’t care anymore. Please don’t take my little girl, I love her so damn much already. I know the shit in my head gets to be a lot at times but I am trying to be better for her I really am”

You pulled him down into a hug and felt him bury his face into the bend of your neck, tears wetting your skin “Jay you listen to me. You are her father.I would never take her from you. I see that you’re trying. You’re a good man and if you stumble I won’t leave you down there I’m gonna help you to your feet. We’re partners, remember?” 

He nodded and you blinked hard a few times to stop your own tears from falling. “I knew this case would mess with your head” “I’m sorry for waking you up for this” he whispered and you stepped back to look up at him, really look at him “How much have you slept in the last week Jay?”

At his silence you shook your head and grabbed his hand “C’mon” He let you lead him through the apartment and to your bedroom, his eyes widening slightly “Don’t get excited cowboy. We ain’t hitting round two” you teased, reaching to take his jacket off then nodded to his boots “Kick those off”

He did as you told then looked at you questioningly so you said “Take your jeans off unless you’d rather sleep in them and if you would it’s nice knowing I’m pregnant by a psychopath”  “I didn’t come over here to try to get in your bed” he whispered, eyes dropping to the floor as a look of shame flashed across his face at the thought that you were thinking this was a show to get you to take him to bed. You nodded “I know but you have said and I’ve seen that you sleep pretty well when you’re near her and currently being near her means near me. So get comfortable and get in the bed. I’m pregnant and tired. You’re exhausted so let's go to bed”

He nodded slowly and unzipped his jeans before pushing them off his hips. He folded them in half and sat them on top of your dresser. You smiled “See? No big deal since I have seen you naked after all” you ran a hand over your stomach and he smiled so you waved a hand “I’ve got the left side so you’ve got right” you slipped under the covers and motioned to him.

“Is it ok if I take my shirt off?” he asked and you touched your hand to your chest in mock shock “Oh my Mr Halstead! Topless! That’s indecent” and was rewarded with a full grin before he slipped his shirt off and put it with his jeans before joining you in the bed. 

He turned on his side facing you and brushed the hair out of your face, hand cupping your chin. “Thank you. I know I’m not who you want here but thank you” you covered his hand with yours and smiled softly “Get some sleep Jay. You deserve it” his hand moved from your face to your stomach “What happens if Mouse decides to come home when his contract ends?”

That was the first time in weeks he’d directly said anything about Mouse. You raised your eyes to look up at him “What do you mean?” he raised his eyes to yours “He still loves you now just as much as he ever did.Addy doesn’t change that..Are we still going to be good if he comes back? Don’t get me wrong baby I want him home safe and I want you happy but I want us good”

You reached a hand up to his face “What happens if you date?” he smiled “They’ll have to accept that you’re my partner, the mother of my child and my other half in some ways. No matter if we’re not together we’re gonna be in each other’s lives regardless”  You nodded “Same goes for me, now like I said before..get some sleep and for the record, if I didn't want you here, I wouldn't have told you to get in the bed”

“Goodnight” he whispered, hand gently rubbing your stomach. “Goodnight” you replied with a yawn. You fell asleep with his hand stretched wide across your stomach.

@desimarie12

Part 10

@allisonargent144

@waywardhunter95

[anzynai]

Day 5 - Boo!

Xingqiu & Chongyun (Genshin)

a/n: hiiii i missed writing them thank u sm for the prompt pookie…. I LOVE XINGYUN SO MUCH ABGAJAJAJAJAJAH theyre technically NOT dating here but i think its a little implied teehee but they are still technically friends unforch …. anyway i hope u enjoy!!! @tklpilled

——

oh, look at him, so blissfully unaware, xingqiu thought, watching the other eat his popsicle, content on his face as he walked closer and closer to the corner of the hallway.

he had invited chongyun over today. he had dramatically exclaimed that he would be oh, so bored because his father and brother would be speaking to business partners almost all day, but had to stay in case they needed him. it was the truth, but xingqiu didn’t really invite chongyun over for just that. he really just wanted to spend more time with him.

it had been an impulsive idea to scare chongyun like this. chongyun would never see it coming, which made it so fun, and even now, he could imagine the shock and betrayal on chongyun’s face.

xingqiu almost felt bad. almost. but alas, it was not enough to deter him from his goal. as chongyun was about the turn the corner to go into xingqiu’s room…

“boo!” xingqiu jumped out, grabbing the other’s sides in the process and squeezing.

“w-WAHAHA, x-xihihingqiu?!” chongyun jumped, startled and completely caught off guard. xingqiu inwardly applauded his stealth skills.

“chongyun, you’re here! it’s been so long!” xingqiu joked, still kneading his fingers along chongyun’s sides and tummy.

“ihihit’s beheheehen two dahahays!”

“two too long, don’t you agree?” xingqiu tsked.

“stahahap ihihit! ihihim tihihicklish!” chongyun cried, his face turning a bit red already. how cute, xingqiu thought a little mesmerized, not for the first time and not for the last.

“oh yes, we have established that, haven’t we?” xingqiu tried to deadpan, but he was far too amused to keep a straight face. chongyun was really so silly.

“gahahahaha!” chongyun pushed away at xingqiu’s hands as he backed into the wall, partly reflex from the ticklish sensations. unfortunately for him, that left him trapped and much more vulnerable to xingqiu’s devilish fingers.

“you’re so ticklish, chongyun,” xingqiu giggles along with the exorcist, who flushes in response.

a few seconds later, chongyun is looking a bit too red that, even though he really doesn’t want to, xingqiu relinquishes his attack, not wanting the other to overheat.

“you’re evil.” chongyun pouted, crossing his arms when he calmed down.

“how could you say that? i am not!” xingqiu denied, passionately holding a hand over his chest.

“yeah, right.” chongyun rolled his eyes, but xingqiu could see him trying to resist a smile. xingqiu felt like smiling too, but he didn’t resist it.

“come now, let’s go to my room. i have some new leads i think you might be interested in!” xingqiu said, smiling happily.

chongyun did smile that time. “okay, but they better be real ones.”

“of course, don’t worry!” xingqiu had assured him, as they walked to xingqiu’s room.

[xmtposts]

updates since you last posted! <3

thanks for the reminder! i haven’t gotten any diaper checks in my inbox and haven’t had any cool horny thoughts to share so i’ve just been lurking the past couple days lol

but. it’s officially a week into my almost 6 months of mandatory diaper time, so here is a little update with some stuff i’ve learned/noticed!

- i go through so many diapers in a day, going from 1 maybe 2 diapers a day for bedwetting to 4-5 for absolutely everything has been quite an adjustment! i luckily prepared on the having enough diapers front, i have ~8 cases of various thickness and print diapers plus all the proper extras like changing supplies, plastic pants, etc. what’s been more of a challenge is changing. i’ve a very heavy wetter, it only takes around 2 wettings until i have to change or i’ll leak. but since i can’t hold my bladder, it’s hard to tell when i’ve hit one full wetting, or really even gauging how wet i am in the first place! needless to say, i’ve done so much laundry from leaking and am looking for someone to be my full time diaper changer!

- pacis are wayyyy more addicting than i thought, i seriously thought i’d get sick of it and have to swap out the goal with something else. but i invested in some nicer rearz pacis for this challenge and holy shit, i can’t get enough of them. it’s gotten to the point where i get upset when i have to take them out to drink water or go run errands, i almost feel naked without it now!

- onesies are incredibly helpful, every baby should have at least one. since i’m such a heavy wetter, it’s easy to get my diaper sagging (all these messy requests don’t help either! 😤). but with onesies i’ve felt so much more confident and comfortable wearing in public. does it keep yucky diapers smushed against your butt? yes, and it’s a little gross, but totally worth the peace of mind they give me.

- my libido is slowing down, almost like im too little to do that kind of thing anymore! i used to “get off” almost twice a day, now im lucky if i have the stamina to do it once a day. humping diapers takes time, and although my wand does help, it’s still significantly slower than touching myself. i will note that onesies have also been a godsend by helping deter touching, i was so horny once that i just tried to say “fuck it” and reach a hand under my diaper, but couldn’t cause of my onesie so i gave up and went back to humping! it feels so right to only get off or just edge barely once a day, and it feels so much more intense doing it in a wet diaper!

- kids shows are genuinely good, especially bluey! i’ve rewatched so many kids movies and the plot isn’t half bad in most! but mainly bluey is just phenomenal. i get so into it, i’ve cried a few times and i always shake my diaper butt to the theme song! it’s soooo catchy! it has great lessons and is genuinely so heartwarming and wholesome, i almost don’t miss big kid tv! i did have to switch to youtube kids which is such a downgrade, let me know if you have any channel recommendations for that!

that’s all for week one! i don’t know if i’ll do weekly or monthly updates from here on out, let me know what y’all would like! feel free to also tease me about this in the comments, it’s all just apart of the challenge you guys fueled 💕

[fairy-writes]

Hello! It’s my first time here and I just checked out the rules but let me know if messed up. Can I get jouno and Tecchou (if you write for him) with a Reader who acts like Makima? Minus the way she is with Denji since he’s a minor.

I hope this makes sense but I might be requesting more csm characters (Fixating on chainsaw man and Tecchou + Jouno at the same time )

CONTROL

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing(s): Saigiku Jouno x Reader

Suehiro Tecchou x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Gender Neutral!Reader, Reader is shorter than both Jouno and Tecchou, Mentions of blood and gore

Notes: Since there are multiple characters, I’m doing HCs :)

I also haven’t read Chainsaw Man since the first arc ended, so I’m bound to get some stuff wrong. I’m using her Wiki page as a crutch, lol.

Also also, I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret your request, so I just gave Reader Makima’s powers :) (I tried giving the reader her personality, but I liked the personality the reader got instead, so it’s what I’m rolling with)

__________________________________________________________________________

Saigiku Jouno

You were a fascinating case to Jouno. 

You were the newest member of the Hunting Dogs, having been recruited by Captain Fukuchi after being a member of a black market organization not unlike the Port Mafia. 

Just… with less influence and money.

You were the resident interrogator of said organization, so it was no surprise that your expertise transitioned to the Hunting Dogs. 

It was also no surprise that, seeing as you were so good at your job, that you got along well with Jouno. 

So well, in fact, it was almost scary, according to the rest of the Hunting Dogs. 

Your Ability was also fascinating to him. To be able to control someone like that… He feared the day that it might be used on him. 

“Are you done yet?” Jouno knocks on the interrogation room door and peeks his head inside. He can hear the sounds of your victim gasping for air. 

“Almost. Just a few more moments, and I’ll have everything I need.” Comes your voice, and he huffs, 

“It’s taking you forever.” He says conversationally and hears the person you were “talking to” whimper as you shift in place. 

The sound of cracking bones fills the air, and the person cries out in agony. 

“Oh hush, I’m doing exactly what I’m told.” You shoot back, and he rolls his eyes.

“You’re just having fun, aren’t you?” At that, you laugh. 

“Oh, but of course!” He hangs his head and chuckles but leaves you to your work. He takes his post outside the door and just listens. 

Sounds of begging and crying get on his nerves, but he doesn’t say anything. He knows you’re getting what you want. Even if no one else can understand what’s being said, you can. And that’s all that matters. 

Soon enough, you step out of the interrogation room. Jouno can hear the rustling of fabric and the squishing of liquid as you wipe fluids off your hands. The scent of iron is strong, and he knows that you must’ve used your ability to extract any information you needed for your reports. 

“All done?” He asks and hears you whip out your phone. 

“Sure am. That’s the last one for today, too.” You say, and the typing noise coming from your phone lets him know that you’re likely texting Fukuchi to get the mess cleaned up. 

You were always very messy. 

Your shorter legs skip to keep up with his, and he slows his stride so you aren’t running just to keep up with him. Jouno can hear the passing of several cleanup workers and figures by the path you’re taking that you’re on your way to your room. 

He barely waits a moment before kicking off his boots as per your request, shutting the door behind him, and following you with socked feet into the ensuite bathroom. He can hear your clothes drop to the floor, but embarrassment was a thing of the past between you two.

The shower turns on, and you barely wait a moment before stepping under the stream of water. Meanwhile, Jouno picks up your bloodied uniform and steps out of the bathroom to find you new clothes. Your dorm room at the Hunting Dogs Headquarters is as familiar as his own. Everything is perfectly in place. Your clothes are color-coded from dark to light, your bed is neatly made, and it all smells of the mint room spray you use. 

Everything in your dorm is perfectly controlled. Hell, Jouno might even be part of that. But he can’t bring himself to care all that much. 

Suehiro Tecchou

This is a similar backstory to Jouno’s HCs :) 

You were formerly part of a criminal organization that is now a part of the Hunting Dogs. 

But the difference in this is that you are watched by Tecchou instead of Jouno (duh, Fairy, get to the writing already!)

That being the main change, how you go about your interrogation is incredibly different. 

Tecchou teaches you to be gentle with your victims. 

Well… As gentle as your ability can be. 

You went for more mental manipulation rather than physical this time. 

You’re already waiting for Tecchou by the time he arrives to escort you to your office to finish your reports. The door to the interrogation room is shut, but he can hear the sounds of someone crying inside. As iron-willed as he is, it still makes his heart ache. 

At least you didn’t break them physically. That’s what Jouno would’ve done and he had always hated his fellow Hunting Dog’s cruel tactics.

“Did you get everything you needed?” He asked, and you hummed, nodding absentmindedly.

“Of course I did.” You say simply and he jerks his head for you to follow him. You do so without complaint. Teruko passes you two with a wave as she goes to escort the victim to the vans where he’ll be transported to prison until his trial. 

You report to Captain Fukuchi while Tecchou waits outside the door. Soon enough, you are dismissed and hold Tecchou’s hand as you head back to your shared dorm. The scent of juniper fills his nose, and he finds himself relaxing in your presence. 

You always did have this effect on him. Whether it was your Ability or not was unknown, but he didn’t care to find out. If you controlled him, you controlled him. He didn’t mind. 

[aparticularbandit]

Donuts and Lavender Tea

Summary: Mukuro works at a small town coffee shop and bakery and spends her free time playing COD competitions online. She's intrigued by one of her COD squad members, but she doesn't think she can just slide into her DMs. (She also desperately wants to flirt with one of her customers, but she doesn't want to make things awkward.)

What's a poor girl to do?

For DR WLWeek 2024: Prompt Three: Talentless.

Rating: T.

AO3

“Cover me, cover me!”

“I’m down!  I’m down!”

Mukuro hides along the outside of the broken down house, clutching her gun to her chest.  She breathes easy – the adrenaline will come later, after they’ve won (or lost).  Right now, though, she’s relaxed, even as her comms fill with the cries of her squad falling one by one.

They haven’t gotten Ghost yet, though.  They haven’t gotten Ghost, and they haven’t gotten her.

Everyone else is just to distract them.

Ghost never communicates when they’re in the thick of things.  Mukuro rarely does either – only when things are getting drastic, only when she can feel herself going down.  Then Ghost needs to know.

(Even alone, Ghost wins.  Ghost always wins.)

Eventually, while Mukuro waits, their squad count drops.

Then there’s only the two of them left.

Mukuro smiles.

~

The Clean-Up Crew wins the match.

Of course.

They always win.

(But they put on a good show while they do.)

~

After the match, Mukuro pulls up the Ghost’s DMs.  They’re empty; she’s never worked up the ability to send an actual message.  No good games, no good jobs, no see you next times, no nothing.  Her fingers hover over the keyboard.

Eventually, she closes out of it again, just the same way she always does.

Next time.

She’ll be more prepared next time.

Besides, she needs to sleep.  She has to get up early for work in the morning.

~

~

Everything’s Coming Up Roses – a small, local coffee shop and bakery in the midst of Sunset’s old town downtown, only a few blocks from the local university (Hope’s Peak), home of the best coffee in the entire small town, and Mukuro’s job.  It doesn’t pay much – not even enough to pay the bills – but it comes with a lot of free coffee and a handful of free donuts every now and again.  Most importantly, Mukuro likes the job.  The pay offsets the prize money she gets from the Clean-Up Crew, so it’s all about the enjoyment anyway.

And there’s one more thing.

Kirumi Tojo, a professor at the local university, the first customer there every morning after Mukuro takes her shift, who always offers her a small smile when she orders.

It’s the best part of Mukuro’s day.

They never say anything much – just small talk.  Mukuro asks about Kirumi’s day, Kirumi says she can’t give information on her students (but often mentions something in passing anyway and gives that amused little smile), and that’s it.  Kirumi wishes her a good day.  It lasts all of five minutes – ten, at most – but it’s enough.  Every now and again, Kirumi returns at the end of Mukuro’s shift to grab lunch – one of the wraps that Clara, the owner, keeps on hand for her – but not often.  Still, Mukuro stays late most days anyway.  Just in case.

Today looks to be no different.

Except that this time, when Mukuro asks Kirumi how she’s doing, Kirumi avoids the discussion.  Her eyes grow dark.  “I….”  Her voice trails off, and her lips curve in a little frown.  “Nothing.”

“Something big coming up?” Mukuro asks as she gets Kirumi’s lavender tea ready.  (She’s considered having it ready and waiting before, but she’s never actually done it.  Maybe tomorrow….)  “Something…bad?”

“No.”  Kirumi sighs.  “Yes.  I’m not at leisure to discuss it, unfortunately.”

“Of course.”

That’s normal.

Mukuro wants to press further, but she suspects that trying to do so will only make Kirumi uncomfortable.  So instead, she hands her the cup of tea.  “Here,” she says.  “On the house.”  She opens her mouth as though to continue, closes it again, and then says, “And a donut.  They always make me feel better after a rough night.”

“You don’t have to—”

“It’s fine.”  Mukuro doesn’t smile, just rests her arms on the countertop and gives her a little nod.  “Just tell me which one you want.  I’ll take care of it.”

A blush spreads across Kirumi’s cheeks, and she nods once.  “Okay.”

~

Mukuro usually crashes immediately after her shift at Rose’s.  She sleeps during the afternoon and then spends the night and early hours of the morning playing COD.  Casual games, usually, or warm-ups for weekend competitions.  That’s no different today, and just as always, she pulls her phone up to check her DMs while she waits for the game to load.  Only this time, she has a message from the Ghost.

Her eyes widen.

Of course, Mukuro doesn’t have her settings to keep randos from sending her DMs, and since she and the Ghost share a common server, the Ghost can send her a message easily enough, just like Mukuro could send her one.  It’s just never happened before.  She takes a deep breath.

hidekisghost: are you free?

It’s been a couple hours.

Shit.

corpsey_mcmurderface: free now. corpsey_mcmurderface: sorry. crashed after work. corpsey_mcmurderface: what’s up

The Ghost probably isn’t available anyway, or she might be asleep, or—

hidekisghost: are you free to play a few games? hidekisghost: it would be beneficial to let off some steam. corpsey_mcmurderface: bad day? hidekisghost: you could say that. corpsey_mcmurderface is typing…. hidekisghost: thanks. hidekisghost: for being available. corpsey_mcmurderface: any time.

~

Mukuro loses count of the games that the two of them play – the games they win.  There’s no competing with them; the Ghost picks up when she falters.  Mukuro’s not bait, of course; she can take care of herself.  But whenever anyone gets close to her, the Ghost blows them out of the water.

Letting off steam indeed.

But eventually—

hidekisghost: i should go.  i have an early morning waiting for me. corpsey_mcmurderface: so do i corpsey_mcmurderface: i stay up and crash later hidekisghost: what a great schedule hidekisghost: but i’ve got people depending on me.  i can’t stay up too late. corpsey_mcmurderface: what, like a family? hidekisghost is typing…. corpsey_mcmurderface: not that that’s a bad thing corpsey_mcmurderface: families are cool corpsey_mcmurderface: expert cod player for a parent sounds super cool tbh hidekisghost: i’m not a mom corpsey_mcmurderface: you could be a dad hidekisghost: not that either. corpsey_mcmurderface: no offense hidekisghost: none taken. hidekisghost: funny that your first thought was parents. corpsey_mcmurderface: what else? hidekisghost is typing…. hidekisghost: nothing. hidekisghost: it’s nothing. hidekisghost: i’ll talk to you tomorrow. corpsey_mcmurderface: can’t wait.

~

~

Kirumi is whistling the next morning when she arrives at Rose’s.

Mukuro can’t help it – between having an actual conversation with the Ghost and Kirumi’s apparent cheer, she smiles, too.  Not much, not flashy, the way her sister might, but there all the same.  “Good morning?” she asks when Kirumi approaches the counter.

“More like a good night.”

“Oh.”  Mukuro’s smile freezes, so it’s a good thing that she’s facing away from Kirumi, fixing her tea.  “Good date?”

Kirumi smiles, a small thing easily hidden as she brushes her fingers through her hair.  “You could say that.”  She has the money set on the counter when Mukuro turns around.  “Thank you, for yesterday.  I didn’t deserve your kindness.”

Mukuro hands her the tea.  “Don’t mention it.”

“And you?” Kirumi asks, warming her hands on the cup.  “How was your evening?”

“Good,” Mukuro says, unable to stop the smile spreading across her face.  “It was really good.”

~

Mukuro doesn’t notice until after Kirumi’s gone that she’s left more than enough to cover her drink – more than enough to cover what Mukuro’d put on the house the day before.  Too much to be just a tip, even if Kirumi always tipped well.

It makes her smile.

It makes what already looks to be a good day even better.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Okay. Cool. That’s good to know. A part of me figured that was the case but since that everything purely said ‘Ask box closed’ I figured I’d better be safe than sorry and should wait until you opened it up again. And I’m so sorry that someone sent in that spoiler with a request. I really do hate that. And that’s great to hear that you slept so amazingly ☺ Gods, me too. I have this weird thing where I absolutely have no idea how much sleep I actually need beause I’m always tired, even if I sleep more than normal. Sure, I feel slightly more refreshed, but still hella tired. Okay. I’ll try to come up with everything I thought of saying at the time and will send it next time you respond to our DMs. And thank you so much for saying that. It most definitely was a great chapter and I hope I have good enough thoughts to add onto everything you’ve already said about it. Oh I see. That makes sense. I also usually go for those kinds of things and rarely watch purely romantic series, unless they’re recommended to me or they’re said to be really good. It really is. I finished A: TLA a few days ago and cried so much at the end. And I hope that you also get the chance to rewatch it at some point and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it when the time comes. I immensely enjoyed rewatching A: TLA and it’s funny beause even though it’s been a while that I’ve watched it before , I still knew a lot of everything concerning the story but that didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the moments. Like I still cried at another emotional scene a few episodes before the end beause it really is just so beautiful. I just started the last season of Demon Slayer that’s out today and I’m just in awe of the animation and how it looks and it’s making me emotional. I’m really so grateful that a series as good as that has such a beautifully well done adaptation. Couldn’t ask for anything more and hope that they continue doing it justice until the very end, though I have a feeling they will.

Thank you. I managed to get through everything I didn’t get the chance to read yet today, as you may have noticed 😅 And I enjoyed all of them and have written my thoughts down for them, though I feel like they’ll probably look quite repetitive 😅 Yeah, fandom is amazing like that. I’m really grateful for that and the way that they write all of the wikis. Yeah, one of the filler arcs in Bleach is really weird and I never rewatch that one. Oh that’s nice to know. And it’s also cool to know that they also translated the songs. Were they sung by the English voice actors or something?

It really was and luckily, now that I’ve restarted my computer again since it was being really slow, it’s gone back to how it used to be. And that could be. And thank you for calling the explanation clear. And that sounds good. I hope you get to read it beause one of the matches centres on some of my favourite babies and I really do hate that they messed up the adaptation like that. At least I’ll always have the manga, though it still sucks 😭 Yeah. And the fourth season still has some really well-done scenes, and there’s this scene of another kind of fave that I haven’t mentioned at all, that appears in that season, and they have like this really beautiful shot of his eyes. And that’s nice to know. No problem at all. Even though I probably won’t rewatch the movies, I do really appreciate that they animated those extra scenes beause they’re all important in their own way. Shame can’t be said for some later stuff and I know Covid had something to do with the second half on the fourth season, but the movie of this year and those OVA’s from many years ago have no excuse so yeah, it’s still a shame (I know I’m being really salty here so sorry for that). The chapter limitation really does suck, especially because both were really easy to get through for me, someone who doesn’t read as fast so I hope that you do get to read both on your normal app one day. Yeah, me too. Like even though I do have my faves that I’ve talked to you about, I still love all of the characters and am so proud of the growth that certain ones went through and it’s just all so nice. Like even my non-faves make me emotional. And yeah, especially those. Like the other boy I’m not normal about has such noticeable flaws and is such a silly boy (like I call him silly so often while rewatching some of his scenes) but he’s such a well-made character that you can’t help but love him.

Oh I’m so sorry to hear that and I can’t blame you for being upset by it. I hope at least that that character has good reasons or something. I’m also scared now, but also kind of intrigued to see it all. And true and that’s really nice. And you’re amazing for that. Glad to see that I’m not the only one who likes justified text. And no problem at all 😄 I’m doing pretty alright. Like I said, I watched some Demon Slayer today, which put me in a good mood but my mum was really judgemental about a certain thing concerning my dad which was so horrible to hear sine it was during dinner time so I just had to sit there and listen to everything she had to say, especially since I couldn’t come up with enough stuff to counter her. It really is always so painful to have to hear her comments about all kinds of things but I won’t let it keep me down because I know I have your writing to look forward to and many great anime and all kinds of stuff. Just couldn’t help but mention it. Hope you’re doing amazing and that the writing is going great 😊

C

I know you had figured that and I think it’s really sweet of you to be concerned about bothering me! You’re never a bother though and I enjoy seeing you in the inbox 😊Thanks – that one was rough as I’ve done amazing at avoiding Jujutsu Kaisen spoilers (blacklisted the general tag until I’m completely finished the manga read just to make sure of that). Though, just saying – I called that one way back in our messages but ouch, rough yeah, for both being spoiled and for what it said happened. I need way more sleep than the four to six hours I’m lucky to get a night. I’m horrible in being a super light sleeper where every little sound wakes me up though, even with my pills being in me. Caffeine is my best friend in all forms (coffee, energy drinks, caffeine infused chocolate or my favourite, chocolate covered espresso beans, even caffeine pills if the insomnia is really bad…yeah, I know, I’ll probably die of a heart attack from all the caffeine guys but adult life sucks and requires you to stay awake). Sounds good! I’m hoping to get a reply to our dm’s off maybe this weekend in between writing other things, where I have a weekend off. I can definitely get checking out series that are recommended to you, even if they’re not what you’d normally watch. I recently paused watching my other shows to binge through Mashle because it came highly recommended by two people I trust, even though it seemed like it would be just a blatant rip-off of One Punch Man. Turns out they were right and I loved it. I hope it will be that for you with the romance series when you do watch it through! The ending of A:TLA was definitely worthy of the crying and I remember crying quite a bit throughout that show. I loved Iroh, but I really had a soft spot for Azula and things got real rough for my girl around the end of the show. I felt horrible for her, I really did. I’m so glad that you enjoyed your rewatch of it, that it could still hit you in all the right ways despite knowing what was coming. When you say last season, do you mean this is it? It will wrap everything up completely or is there a plan for more (like a spin-off or anything) after this season or a follow-up like Naruto: Shippuden? I’m so glad the last season is starting out so well though and I’m with you in hoping it will continue to be beautifully done right up until the end, and not just because it’s high on my watch list.

I noticed and appreciated all the likes and am happy you enjoyed them all! And I never find your thoughts repetitive and am always really glad to hear your thoughts on my posts! Comments are always wonderful and motivating! I hate the Bount arc for Bleach and when I do get the urge to watch it, I always skip that arc, since it’s pure filler anyway! I’m pretty sure it’s all the English VA’s singing the songs but I noticed about halfway through season 2 there were some songs they didn’t translate and upon googling it, it looks like sometimes it’s hard to get the permissions needed to translate and revoice those songs. Either way, the music is really solid all through the show!

I’m glad your computer has gone back to how it should be and hopefully isn’t running super slow anymore! It definitely was clear and it helps me know what to expect. I’m someone who likes to get every single moment, so even if the movies are a lot of recycled stuff, I still need to watch them. Oh no! It sucks that your favourite didn’t really get what they should have when it came to the anime adaptation. I know how that feels and it sucks big time! I hadn’t even actually thought about the impact Covid would have had on animators and studios! A lot of what came out during that time would make more sense if they couldn’t really all do their work successfully from home, I guess. And hey, no, please feel free to be salty. Everyone has things they’re salty about, even me, and it’s cool that you feel comfortable enough with me to feel safe getting salty about things. Thank you for that! And so far, all the characters are great. I was pretty sure I’d dislike Hinata going into it, because those kind of characters normally bore me but I ended up just adoring him, which is the one that surprised me the most!

Thank you! I do hope that, when I get to reading and finishing up everything for the manga, I’ll see the reasons the author went that direction and that it ends up making sense in the story. If not, I’m sticking just with writing Nanbaka up to the end of the anime seasons haha! I’m so glad you’re doing okay and that you had some good moments, though I’m really sorry to hear that about your mother. I personally am of the opinion that spouses shouldn’t bicker or pick at each other in front of their children, but I know it happens all too often. It’s awkward for the person sitting there and uncomfortable. I’m sure you did your best to defend your dad and that he appreciated it a lot! I know it’s hard but try to focus on some of the positives of your day or lose yourself in something you enjoy and don’t let her steal your joy, my dear! You deserve more than that! And thank you! I’m doing okay tonight – just got my pills into me, sitting on my couch in boxers and a comfy t-shirt, eating a McCain cake out of the tin and writing (just finished a chapter…it was supposed to be a request for a one shot little drabble about me travelling with comfort characters and now it’s bloated into a whole multi-chaptered fic, haha)!

[ponds-of-ink]

Notre Dame AU One-Shot: “To Sketch A Specter”

In case anyone was wondering why I haven’t been active as much today, um.. This is why. 😅 This took pretty much all afternoon, but I’m happy with how it turned out! @angeygirl, I hope I did Mable justice. :D

It was a busy afternoon at the Fazbear’s Kingdom attraction. Young couple filtered into the small chapel to survey their future wedding destination. Curious children ram around the main area, telling tales of fantasy and mayhem as their parents watched from a nearby sitting spot. As for the teens and adults, not many stuck around for one reason or another. The few who did were either trading sketches of the grand facade on the outskirts or trying to scrounge up loose change for Sun’s Traveling Caravan. One such person who fell into the former category  met up with those in the latter. “Excuse me,” she said to one of the quarter carriers. “Do you know where I can find The Bell-Ringer?”

The boy quit scrounging for loose change. He looked at her with a puzzled expression. “‘The Bell-Ringer’?” he echoed. “Isn’t that just some way to explain to the kids why the clock tower goes off every hour or so without boring them to death?”

“Not necessarily,” the woman replied, turning to face the towering castle walls. “I heard from one of the workers that there’s someone actually up there. Dunno if it’s just some guy or a projection, but you can catch him at certain hours.”

The boy checked his watch. “Is one of those hours coming up?” he asked as he gazed up at the huge clock tower. “I kinda want to see this.”

“I have no idea,” the artist answered uneasily, taking a few steps forward. “All that the employee told me was that to look for a flickering lantern, then watch the bell itself. If you go inside the castle and view it through the Princess’s Perch, you’ll get a much better look at both the lantern and the Bell-Ringer.”

“Well, that sounds like your ‘quest’ now,” the boy quipped as he stretched wearily. “I’ve been running around the entire mall all day, and I’m not going to let my aching feet take another step. I’ll be sure to watch from down here after the show, though, Miss.. Uh...”

“Mable,” the woman answered simply. “You can just call me Mable.”

“Mable.. Right..” the boy muttered as he walked back to the decorated wagon. Then he added aloud with a wave: “Have fun trying to find that perch! Believe me, it’s a maze in there!”

Mable only waved back before entering the front courtyard. Her footsteps slowed as she took in the scenery. Despite being an impressively carved facade for a walkthrough attraction, it still had the look of a true castle or that one famed cathedral in France. Looming and majestic stone structure. Colorful stained glass painting its colors onto the “cobblestone” floor. Stairs partly under sweeping arches that slowly bathed the curious wanderer in shadow. Two giant ironwood doors that guarded whatever—or whoever— lurked inside. These two doors Mable shoved her shoulder into, slowly but surely allowing her in.

The incessant creaking those doors produced alerted the costumed employees. “Welcome, weary traveler!” one of them cried out after she fumbled inside. “Are you here for an adventure of a lifetime?”

Mable opened her eyes to see a long hallway with a velvety carpet leading to a somewhat elderly-looking man dressed in a scarlet-and-gold robe. “I guess so,” she answered honestly while advancing towards him. “I’m just here to find The Princess’s Perch.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place!” the man exclaimed with some jollity before gesturing to a small door with his walking staff. “Beyond that door is the path you must go to reach the Perch. But be warned: The time of the flickering lantern approaches. That means the Judge may be surveying the upper levels, ready to hunt down anyone daring enough to try this challenge.”

Mable raised an eyebrow at the last remark. “What’ll this Judge do to me if I get caught?” she inquired slowly as she made her way to the door.

“Hopefully, he will let you off with a warning,” the man responded warily, stepping in front of her and unlocking the door with a keycard. “If not, then be prepared to either be sent to another section of the castle— Or worse, be cast out of here altogether.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Mable concluded as she began her trek up the winding staircase. “Thanks so much!”

“You’re very much welcome!” she could hear the man call out as she climbed higher and higher. “May the golden lamps guide you...!”

Now left alone with her thoughts, Mable kept ascending the steep stairwell. Her surroundings grew darker and darker as the narrow “windows” to the outside world became scarcer and scarcer. Fake candles soon took their place. The deafening silence gave way to an ethereal melody. And, as she finally neared flat ground once more, a glowing light aided her to the top. A shame that the source of the glowing light was yet another long hallway. This time, with blacked out arches and eerily familiar marble floors. Mable’s eyes lit up. “Hang on,” she thought as she properly stepped into the room. “This almost looks like that one level in Princess Quest I, except...” She halted her musing to peer through each open doorway. “That’s weird,” she muttered to herself. “There’s no monsters here like in the game. I guess I could see why they wouldn’t be able to put them in, but—“

Padded, static-ridden footsteps cut her words short. Thinking fast, she dove into a shadowy corner and stood as still as she could. Her fast-acting rewarded her with an unexpected sight: A cartoonishly blonde-brown rabbit dressed in judge-like robes phasing into the room like a literal ghost. It looked around, twitching its whiskers with a sneer. It pulled out a small bell from some pocket and rings it. “It’s almost time again, Agonia,” it announced in a deep, authoritative voice towards the two shut doors. “The Northern Wing must tremble with the clangs of those bells.”

Mable waited for the doors to open, but nothing happened. Only the rabbit’s perked up ears and self-satisfied smile told her that this “Agonia” had responded. She cautiously side-stepped to the nearest open door as the rabbit walked in the opposite direction. Then, feeling a new sense of dread, she hurried down the corridor and into another chamber.

Before her now was four LED torches boxing in a tile puzzle at the center of the room. Said puzzle seemed to be easy enough for the average family, but the dim lighting and the ever-present passing of time made her mind race. She tried several different combinations by moving the tiles with her feet. An abstract compass. Triangles stacked on top of each other. Even a simple square looked like a good option. Finally, after what felt like hours, a hint revealed itself. The edges of the puzzle lit up with four different colors: Red, blue, green, and yellow. Those same four colors were present in the tiles, albeit in a more muted tone. “I’m supposed to match up the edges with those colors, aren’t I?” Mable asked tiredly as she shoved the tiles once more.

The edges glowed even brighter once everything was in place. A click from the adjacent set of doors confirmed the poor girl’s suspicions. Shaking her head, she walked past the lanterns and into yet another chamber. 

This time, a wide hallway riddled with pits and more red-tinted tiles greeted her. She walked up to a red tile to step on it, but a message scrawled on the wall stopped her: TOUCH THE RED, THINK YOURSELF “DEAD”. 

“That makes sense, I guess,” she muttered, taking another look at the placement of the tiles. “They do line up with where the enemies would spawn in the game..”

Carefully, she backed away from the danger and started her trek again. Her lips moved faster than her entire body while maneuvering, mouthing either where each imaginary enemy’s location or the mantra the wall had given her. By the time she neared the scribbles on the wall, the melody died away. A faint thunk reached her left ear, making her head turn in that direction. Amid all the pitfalls, there stood a white-and-gold door shining like a beacon in a stormy sea. Her legs trembled as she removed herself from the wall. Step by step, she navigated the rest of the labyrinth.

Soon, she shoved herself into bright lights and fresh air. Her eyes widened as they processed her new surroundings. Instead of a rainy night “sky” and a graveyard, she was standing on a balcony overlooking the rest of the Kingdom. She leaned over the railing, surveying the events below. Sun’s Caravan sprang to life with its eager host regaling some tale of yore. The teens that once lurked in the outskirts now stood a short distance away from the clock tower itself, a few even having their own sketchbooks out. Mable’s eyes drifted from the group to the top of the tower itself. The clock’s hands marked five minutes before the hour while a black-iron lantern showed its purple flames restlessly moving in their glass chamber. A smile grew on Mable’s weary face. She had done it. She had already made it to the Princess’ Perch.

Unfortunately, her joy diminished as those same padded footsteps emitted from behind the white and gold door. She whirled her head to look at the wall behind her. Two wooden signs hung on the stone wall. One that said “Princess’ Perch - Rest Here if You Are Tired” and another that just had an arrow pointing to an ironwood door. She swung open the second entrance and hurriedly closed the door. Now she was plunged back into near-darkness. However, she lingered near the door for a moment. Waiting. Listening for the padded footsteps to go away. 

The only thing Mable heard in that darkness, however, was that same booming voice issuing out a warning of “five minutes to the hour” to the Bell-Ringer before leaving through the same door he entered. A relief for her, yes, but now she had concerns for the poor soul forced to do this. “I hope he’s not as stuck as I am,” she muttered to herself as she glanced over at the puzzle before her. “I’d hate to solve any of this on top of having to ring that bell.”

Seeing as she was most likely stuck in here, however, Mable pressed on. She looked at the unlit lantern, then at the empty “crevice” blocking her from her exit, and finally resting her eyes on more etching on the wall. “‘What color was the lantern’s flame on the Princess’ Perch?’” she read slowly, hoping that the barely visible black-light paint was highlighting the words correctly. “‘Purple, yellow, green, or blue?’”

Pulling out her sketchbook, she wrote down her answer and pinned it onto the wall. “Please accept this, O whoever runs this puzzle,” she pleaded in a low tone. “I seriously don’t think I can shout ‘Purple’ out loud right now.”

To her astonishment, the unlit lantern flared up with a golden glow. Another question revealed itself on the wall adjacent to the crevice. “‘What time did the clock show?’” she asked softly before returning to her sketchbook. Scribbling in an answer, she hung her page up against the wall. “Is this right?” she questioned a tad louder, gazing up at the ceiling as if there was someone controlling things above her. 

A section of the floor slowly slid out from underneath the pitch-black rectangle. The ever-so promising click of an unlocking door made Mable’s heart race. “Thank you so much,” she whispered to her unseen guide as she walked over the ‘bridge’. Elated with her current situation, she swung open the door and entered into the main hall. Another thunk followed, this time accompanied by fairy-like lights and more ethereal sounds. “Congratulations!” the robed man’s familiar voice called out around her. “You have found both the Perch and the way out! Now, before you leave, you have a choice to make. Beyond those doors is the way to escape the maze, but you will be unable to go back and see if you’ve missed anything. If you decide to stay a while longer, the doors will remain open. However, you will run the risk of encountering the Judge and losing it all. Tell me, O brave defender of the realm, what is your choice?”

Mable checked her watch. It was now three minutes to the hour. “I only have one question,” she said aloud, cupping her hand to her mouth. “Do the traps reset themselves if I decide to stay?”

“No,” the man answered promptly. “The only trap you will have is the Judge himself.”

“Well, if that’s the case, then I’m definitely staying,” Mable grinned, making her way back to the starting puzzle with an eager stride. “All I have to do is wait it out on the Perch, do what I need to do, then hurry out the exit. Shouldn’t be too hard now that all the obstacles are turned off.”

“Very well,” the man responded solemnly as she navigated the maze much more swiftly. “All I can ask is for you to not be so sure of yourself. He’s very quick to disappear into the shadows..”

“I’ll keep that in mind, sir,” the young woman answered as she put her hand on the white-and-gold door. “Thanks again for the help!”

With one cautious push, Mable re-entered onto the balcony with much greater enthusiasm. Her eyes bounced from the clock hands to the lantern. She neared the railing and pulled out her sketchbook. The clock ticked as she flipped to any empty page. Her smile grew wider as she returned her attention to the scene before her. “Five,” she mouthed along with the ticking. “Four. Three. Two...”

The lantern’s purple flame flickered in-and-out, as if a great wind threatened to snuff it. A lanky, tattered figure materialized right in front of the artist’s eyes. Seemingly unaware of her presence, the ghostly stranger picked up a huge strand of rope and tugged on it with all his might. The bells clanged, forcing Mable to cover her ears with one hand and her shoulder until the ringing stopped. Then, when all was quiet again, she scribbled her rough outline as the stranger disappeared. Mismatched, hunched over, yet somehow strong enough to ring a giant bell— this was the Bell Ringer in a nutshell for her.

Somewhat content with her work, Mable strolled to the other side of the balcony. She took one last look at the view before entering back inside the building. Her footsteps lightly carried her as she crossed the bridge and once again completed the loop. She skipped to the two doors with bright eyes and a mind at ease.

A faint creaking put out the shine in those eyes. Mable froze. She listened once again for those padded footsteps. Only silence greeted her. 

Mable crept back to the adjacent room on her left. To her surprise, the Bell Ringer was also peeking behind a door. “Hello, um,” Mable sputtered out, brushing back a strand of her long hair. “I’m just about to leave, don’t worry! I was sketching out the tower, and—“

The Bell-Ringer put a skeletal pointer finger to his mouth, as if to noiselessly shush her. Then he gestured to certain words and letters on the walls. 

Mable stared at him slack-jawed for a minute or two, but a repeat of the gesture made her realize his intentions. Using her sketchbook, she translated his movements: “What—d-i-d—y-o-u—d-r-a-w–?”

“Well, I drew a bit of the tower itself,” Mable answered, flipping until she found the correct page. Then, she lifted it up  to the lantern’s light so he could see. “I tried to sketch you too, but it came out a bit rough. Sorry if I didn’t nail your... um.. physique at all, Mr. Bell-Ringer.”

The stranger looked at the sketches, then nodded slowly. “Good drawing,” he signaled.

“Thanks,” came the woman’s sheepish reply as she flipped back to her original page. “Hey, can you stand there for a second longer? I think I can do a better job now that you’re actually here.”

“All right,” the poor man answered via his ‘code’, readjusting himself a little. “But please hurry.”

Mable bobbed her head in agreement, then got to work. Her pencil flew through the structural part despite having to deal with a half-human, half-pixelated face (among other things). She did falter a bit on the cross-hatching section due to having to account for the pupil, but that could be fixed later. All that mattered now was getting the subject matter properly represented in her style.

Meanwhile, the man tried to stay as still as possible. He did let his eyes repeat the “hurry” message whenever she looked up from her drawing, but her confidence eased his worries a bit. So much so that a new thought came into his mind: What if, when the Judge came by and saw them, he could cover for her somehow? Say that he got too curious and stalled her when she was really wanting to go back to the outside world, maybe? That technically was how they got to this point, so the alibi could be fool-proof.

Fortunately for them both, that moment never came. Mable closed her sketchbook and gave him a thumbs up. “It’s been fun exploring this place and getting to know you better, but I’ve gotta go,” she quietly explained as she waved. “I’ll send you a finished version of the sketch, Mister... Uh... What’s your real name?”

“Agonia,” he answered before pointing to himself. 

“You’re Agonia,” Mable replied, putting a hand to her face. “I should’ve remembered that. My bad.”

Agonia noiselessly chuckled, then shooed the flustered sketcher back into the main hall. With one final wave of his hand, he vanished behind the door out of sight.

Still reeling a bit from the encounter, Mable pushed through the two golden doors and entered into the final chamber. Above her was a mural with a yellow-dressed princess running from a shadowy creature and the words “You survived the gauntlet!”. Feeling even more proud than before, she descended the much more grand staircase as a fanfare sounded. The closer she reached the bottom, the more commotion she witnessed. Employees dressed in medieval garb talked in hushed whispers around the man in the scarlet robe. She couldn’t gather much of what they were saying, but she figured it had to have been about her and that dumb judge. “I’m all right, by the way,” she announced to them as soon as she made it to solid ground. “I made it out alive, and I got what I needed.”

Some of the employees stopped talking instantly. Others hurried to her side and inquired about a lot of things. A few stayed behind to give one final warning to her once-jolly guide before joining the questioners. Though this was a bit stressful to enter into, she humored them with her story.

[jodilin65]

I've been feeling a little down the last few days, but we think we know why. Yeah, I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed in general. There are a few reasons, and they’re kind of intertwined.

My glucose was 103 when I got up. Kathy says that's good, but I thought that was pre-diabetic. Technically it is, but as Tom said, because I'm not 25, there's no real need to worry about it. A doctor wouldn't recommend medication in this case. I was still hoping that by now I would be at 95 or lower, and I still worry I'll get pushed into diabetes in the end, no matter what I do.

Maybe I need to cut more carbs and have fruit that's lower in natural sugars. I've been having a lot of grapes lately, and they’re high in sugar. I was surprised to learn that pears are also high in sugar, though I'm not big on pears. I was also surprised to learn that raspberries are low in sugar when I thought it was the other way around.

Anyway, it's looking like cutting sugar hasn't increased my energy, and once again, it's mostly down to sleep apnea, chronic fatigue, or both. I think I’ve always had a tendency for sleep apnea, but the heavier I got, the more it affected me. It seems that once I got over 140 pounds, I started having more fatigue.

Tom thinks the Inspire device would’ve been a nightmare for me, and personally, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was. It sounds great in theory, but I’m hesitant to try something I can’t return if it doesn’t work out due to how sensitive I am in some ways. I guess I’ll never know for sure, or if the ENTs are doing me a favor by canceling my appointments, or preventing me from getting more energy.

I noticed my moods heading south a few days ago, and I started getting teary-eyed the last couple of nights, almost like I was back in perimenopause. I cried more in the last few nights than I probably have in the last year. I just don’t cry anymore, so that should tell you something. My worst fear was being sucked back down the rabbit hole for another 8 years, unable to do a damn thing about it. But the more I thought about it and the symptoms I’ve been having—except for feeling cold at times—I realized it might be the opposite: that I’m getting high in thyroid versus low. That’s what Tom thinks, too. These are the classic mindfuckers I experience when my TSH starts getting low, so I’m backing off the vitamin D for a bit and just going by how I feel.

I wanted to cry for no reason. Sure, I’ve got some stressful things going on, but not enough to draw tears. I’m stressed because the last few days I’ve had bad fatigue, and Tom thinks it's because I take things to help me sleep too often, like Benadryl or melatonin. I don’t know what to think anymore, but I wouldn’t be surprised if most of the fatigue is from sleep apnea, especially since I haven’t been able to lose more than a few pounds. I’ll never be 150 again, let alone 140.

Tomorrow’s my last chance to wake up refreshed before I’m exhausted for days, as we’re expected to get hit with storms, most of which could be from Hurricane Helene. The spaghetti models have the outer left side of it aimed at us.

We set up an account for me on our smart scale to evaluate more than just my weight, and if it’s correct, then the few pounds I lost aren’t due to bone or muscle loss. Besides, you can see all the muscle even through my fat, particularly in my upper arms, shoulders, and upper abs. You can see a little in my calves and outer thighs as well, just not as much as before, because when you have fatigue for 10 to 15 days a month, it really holds back your ability to be as active and productive as you’d like.

I looked at the calendar on the app for the last 6 months where I mark my energy levels (not counting when storms or nightmares would wake me up), and there was a month before I cut sugar where I actually had the least amount of fatigue. It was disappointing to look back and see, but the pattern clearly shows that cutting sugar hasn’t affected my energy levels. Tom thinks it just hasn’t been long enough, but I disagree. Maybe once we’re out of storm season, we’ll find out.

Anyway, I have good bone density, and my bones weigh 5 pounds while his weigh 8 pounds. I do have a high amount of fat, but I’ve got a lot of muscle too, about 85 pounds worth. I’m a little low on protein and water, though. His visceral fat is high but mine is surprisingly good. I’m surprised because I have a prominent menopause belly.

If I can get my TSH under 10 when I go to the lab, it will be the first time I’ve ever altered fate in a sense. One of the things I’ve always hated about being the kind of psychic that I am is that whenever I get a vibe or have a dream about something I feel is about to happen that does happen, there’s never anything I can do to stop or change it in any way. However, I’m going to do all I can to stop that dream from becoming a premonition where Rhonda and I were discussing having to increase my thyroid dose!

Tom replanted the lemon tree in the large planter and it looks great.

[thatinsufferablenerd]

Languishing in the Relentless Ache

The weather here is cool but cleared up from the rain we had last week. My husband started using our fireplace to keep our poorly insulated house warm without running up the gas bill. Our dogs like it. We all caught COVID again. Well, we’re not 100% sure it’s COVID since no one has gotten a test, but the symptoms line up and the misery is very, very real. It started setting in last weekend and has been kicking our asses since. My son spent three days home from school. All my energy has been focused on making sure he’s taken care of, that the bare minimum of housework is done, that our dogs go in and out and stay out of the litter boxes, things like that. My husband was affected differently and spent two days mostly asleep in bed. Between that and drumming up the courage to put out the call for a critique partner/writing buddy (and possibly finding one), I haven’t had the energy to do much. I don’t have the energy to be depressed about the election or worry about the actual nightmares I’m having at the decision to get a job. 

That being said, I am in the final chapters of the Arrancar saga of Bleach. The Big Bad has been defeated along with the other major players. I’m a little behind on my update thoughts and haven’t read much in the last few days being busy with other things. I’ve enjoyed the experience so much more in page form. I think anime is obligated to drag out fights a lot longer than necessary because they have a run time to fill and used to run week to week rather than the season model we get these days. I’ve noticed it less in more recent adaptations. Combat just feels snappier on page. I’ve learned that there’s a difference between watching fight choreography and watching UFC or HEMA (shout out to Scenic Fights on YouTube). It’s kind of the same in anime. I like a big dumb anime fight as much as anyone else, don’t get me wrong. When they hit, they really hit. I could name a dozen off the top of my head that are iconic and incredible for multiple reasons. But when they miss, they REALLY miss. Limited page space and chapter length really does help keep it from overstaying its welcome. 

Instead of reading anything else on my TBR, I made an author friend who generously let me read his books in exchange for my first draft. I’ve finished the first, barely started the second. Ruins of Ivy by Aaron Ramsby is book one in the Aurora Project series, Forgotten Steel is the second. Post-apocalyptic settings can offer quite a bit of material to explore. It’s a good opportunity for speculative biology, stories with themes of perseverance and the power of community, interrogating our relationship with the past or other institutions. Like other types of speculative fiction, it relies on worldbuilding and lore revealed throughout the story. Ruins of Ivy was a zippy read for me with approachable prose and some intriguing hooks that are keeping me engaged into book two. 

Making a friend with someone who’s a published author is always a treat. Most authors (at least self-published ones, in my experience) are happy to lend a helping hand to newbies or other up-and-comers. I’ve had more than one offer me encouraging words, compliment my work, give me some really helpful advice about the writing process or the publishing industry. In several cases, it’s led to free books too. Not as many lasting networking opportunities or friendships, though, but I’ll admit that’s partially my fault. I’m as bad at keeping friends as I am making them. I’m hoping to keep this friend. Having someone else believe in you is such a confidence booster. Sitting around thinking you write like a middle schooler on Wattpad and then having a stranger say you have an elegant, high brow style that inspires them to up their game? I cried. 

Aaron has been kind enough to look over my current project. While he’s currently not far into it, he has given me a lot to think about. That’s what’s taking up a lot of my time right now. Catching up on his books and talking nuts and bolts of prose to him. Well, that and being sick as a dog. It’s nerve wracking, of course. The constant critical questions and playing devil’s advocate. My knee-jerk reaction is panic and put up my boxing gloves, but I know he isn’t doing it to be an asshole. Critique is key to the editing process, and if I intend to publish, GoodReads reviewers will be way harsher than he could ever be. It’s easier now than it was at the beginning, and having reassurance helps. I wish I had more writing friends, though. Tolkien was lucky enough to have peers in two separate writing groups in his lifetime. That’s my dream. 

I have done a little bit of writing. Not a lot, but enough to say I wrote. A page or two. I’m more disappointed that I keep saying I need white board time and not getting it. I did get out my little one and jot some things down, but I need REAL time, with my thinking cap on, with notes and documents and research, like the old days. It’s harder when I have sick kids to care for. Other things have been taking up my time. Like sleeping. And crying over the new Dan Da Dan episode. 

Instead of rehashing in paragraph form all the good fucking good I watched YouTube this week, here’s a handy list: -Pop Culture Detective: “Human Nature, Hope and Ice Cream” 

-FD Signifier: “Edgelord Movies Finally BROKE ME” 

-Wrestling With Words: “If You’re Doing These 7 Things You’re Doing Worldbuilding Right” 

-The Legendarium: “What Makes Prose Good” (parts 1-3) 

-Tale Foundry: “The Kids’ Horror Spiral”

-Princess Weekes: “Main Character Syndrome and The Authenticity Trap”

-Curious Archive: “The Most Powerful Type of Worldbuilding” 

I know this post is much shorter than the last two, but I am very tired and sick. I’m looking forward to being better next week. 

Stay safe out there y’all. <3

[xstarsdiary]

guys I haven’t even watched the fnaf movie yet cause I’ve been so busy but I’m already so obsessed with Josh Hutcherson as Mike Schmidt 😫 I also have the worst case of baby fever so I knew that I had to write this straight away.

not avatar related but i seriously just needed to get this out my system.

Imagine Mike having a pregnant s/o who is in the second trimester of pregnancy as is just so needy for him all the time..

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 : pregnancy sex, pregnant reader, teasing, pet names, unprotected p in v, slight fingering, barely any foreplay, masturbation, breeding kink, light spanking, creampie, aftercare, kisses & cuddles at the end ☺️

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬 : mike schmidt x pregnant reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.2k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : bit rushed at the end, 𝐦𝐝𝐧𝐢 𝟏𝟖+

You feel so deprived. Deprived of your husbands touch. Deprived of his praising words in your ear. It’s torture. Months and months without any release has left you stressed and touch starved, the need to be filled up and stuffed with cock worsens everyday.

For the first few months of your pregnancy you felt nothing but sickness and exhaustion, wanting nothing more than to lay down and sleep all day. Now that you’re in your fifth month of pregnancy and your morning sickness has stopped you’ve been a lot more productive, cleaning more, cooking more, you’ve even started to make your husband meals for when he has his night shifts.

The only downside now is you’re so fucking needy. All you need is to be filled, pumped full with your husbands seed all over again but you’ve just been to shy to ask, too shy to make any moves.

That was until tonight. Your husband had the night off work and so he had taken the opportunity to go late night grocery shopping. He made sure that you gave him a list so that he doesn’t forget anything, remembering the last time he had gone shopping for you and forgot to get three avocados instead of two. That day was an absolute shit show.

You had been pumping your fingers in and out of yourself, tears flowing down your cheeks and your body hurting as you struggled to even reach over your growing bump. You’re now desperately chasing your climax, your fingers not long enough to reach that spongey spot inside of you nor thick enough to pleasure you.

You huff as you change positions, now kneeling on the soft mattress with messed up blankets and pillows surrounding you as you mindlessly grind against your fingers, letting out a lewd moan and sigh of relief as you begin to feel that familiar knot tighten.

With tears building up in your eyes all over again and small whimpers leaving your lips, you hastily chase your sweet release. You feel so so close, inches away from pure ecstasy before-

“Fuck!” Your loud cry can be heard from the other side of the house as you hear the front door slam shut. You quickly get up from the bed, holding back sobs as you cry over your failed orgasm. You were so fucking close, so close to snapping before you heard your husband come home, ripping your orgasm away from you.

Footsteps get louder as your husband nears your shared bedroom, calling out your name with worry laced in his tone. He heard your shout.

Your still a crying mess, stood in nothing but a thin, loose blue tank top as you watch the door burst open, your husbands eyes widening with worry at the scene in front of him.

His eyes trail your body, taking in your naked bottom half as he sighs, noticing the shiny slick practically dripping down your plump thighs. He silently walks towards you, taking you into his arms as you let yourself cry.

“What is it? What do you need, pretty girl? Hm?” He knew exactly what you needed. You needed to be pumped so full of his seed until you become pregnant all over again.

Your a blabbering, hiccuping mess as you try to speak. “I need- huap! I need you s..so bad!” Your cries almost break his heart as he rubs small circles into the small of your back, pretending not to notice the wet patch on his clothed leg which in situated right in between your thighs.

Mike lets out a small “tsk”, gently tugging the hairs on the nape or your neck as he pulls your head away from his chest. Your face is a flushed red and all glossy with tears and for some reason the sight of you like this creates a funny feeling in his stomach as he feels himself begin to harden.

“Please Mike, please..” You plead, pulling at the hem of his shirt with one hand and feeling up his chest with the other. You’re no longer shy anymore. You just need his dick now. That’s all you can think about.

Mike makes no other movements, continuing to play with the hairs on the nape of your neck and gently rubbing circles on your bare hip with his thumb. “How long have you been like this?”

You let out a whine as you become impatient, tears still flowing out of your eyes and fogging up your vision. “Too long! Just please. I really need you!”

As soon as you say those words Mike decides that you’ve both waited long enough, practically ripping off his shirt as your dainty fingers unbutton his jeans. One of his hands move to wrap around you, supporting your weight as the other rests on your bump, slowly lowering you down and onto the bed.

Your light moan gets stuck in your throat when he moves back up to pull down his boxers, his hard cock springing out and slapping his lower stomach. A bead of pre-cum leaks out of his tip and drips down his length causing you to gulp and nearly drool at the sight.

Mikes hands move to your thighs, spreading your legs agonisingly slowly as you stare into each others eyes. The second his fingers touch your neglected, dripping cunt you let out a breathy moan, flinching at the contact as he rubs his index finger between your glossy folds. His touch feels like heaven. It feel so ethereal, like you’ve truly been blessed.

“So fuckin’ wet..” He’s now spreading your lower lips with his fingers, groaning at your pretty pussy on display all for him. He prods his middle finger at your hole as you mewl, slightly dipping the tip of his finger in before pulling it back out, a trail of your slick stringing in between you and his finger as he moves to rub small, gentle circles onto your clit.

“Ngh- fuck!..” your hips instinctively buck against his hand, relishing in the feeling of him finally pleasuring you after so long. He uses his free hand to push down your hips, making sure not to use to much force but also making sure you stay still.

His middle and ring fingers slide into your drenched cunt easily with a loud squelch, the sound of your own pussy driving you crazy. “Oh, Mike..” His fingers feel so fucking good, better than yours ever could as he scissors you open.

You know that you don’t need the foreplay, you’re already wet enough. Yet you let him continue for just a bit longer, letting out soft moans as you feel yourself getting even more aroused, your slick dripping down his fingers.

“Mike..” Whining, you squirm away from his fingers, tears brimming in your eyes at the empty feeling once he pulls them out. You inhale a deep breath as his raspy voice comes out, his breaths slightly shallow as his dick stands painfully hard against his pelvis.

“What is is, baby?” Fuck his voice is hot. His tone nearly makes you cum on the spot. “I don’t need- just fuck me now, Mike.”

His brows raise in surprise at your demand before a smirk appears on his face. In a heartbeat he has you on your hands and knees, now kneeling behind you on the bed as he rubs his pink tip between your folds, using your slick as lubricant before slowly sliding himself inside of you, making sure you feel every inch of him against your walls.

“Ahh~ fuuuuck..” Your voice quivers at the feeling of being so unbelievable full, getting even more stretched out by the girth of his cock. You can feel him rub and push against your sweet spot, emitting a loud pornographic moan out of you.

One of Mike’s hands rest against your plush hip, the other landing a light smack to your ass, a stinging pain shooting through you as you curse. “Shh.. i got you, i got you.” He assures you, a moan getting caught in his throat as you push yourself further against his pelvis, begging for him to go deeper.

He gently pulls your body up so that your back is against his chest, so that you’re now kneeling on top of him. One of his hands rests on your jaw, slightly tilting your head back as the other stays gripping your hip. Your hand moves behind you to grab a fistful of his hair, your mouth agape and breaths uneven as your other hand rubs small circles onto your bump.

His first few thrust are experimental, testing your reaction, making sure that your comfortable and happy sitting on his cock all pretty like this. This was your first pregnancy and so the pair of you had never had pregnant sex before, Mike made sure to be extra gentle and patient with you as you meet his thrusts, grinding down on him.

“Oh- shitt..” He grunts, his scalp burning as you tug harder on his hair, now bouncing on him to the best of your ability. He can already feel himself getting close, but I mean after months of of not being able to be inside of you he’s sensitive, almost like a virgin and has a big load waiting to be released so who could blame him for not lasting long.

He’s not mad at himself though, no. He can tell your the exact same, so close to already cumming all over his dick, he can tell by the way your walls are clenching around him and your bounces are getting sloppier and uneven.

“Mm.. Mike I- I’m gonna..” your a breathless, moaning mess at this point, the only thing keeping you upright was Mike’s hands holding you up.

“Gonna come?” He whispers, his breath tickling your neck, dragging you closer and closer to the edge. You vigorously nod, gathering up the strength to bounce faster and harder on his twitching cock, “mmmhhfff, ah-nngh” You can’t even form any words properly as you can feel yourself about to snap.

Your orgasm is like a wave at the beach, pulling back and forming before it crashes down, and when it crashes- it fucking crashes.

The second Mike’s fingers rub at your small bundle of nerves you snap. Your vision going white and mind foggy as you convulse around him, legs shaking and back arching against his stomach. “Mike- Mike- Mike- Mike- Mike!” You chant his name over and over again, unable to think of anything or feel anything but your stomach tightening and pussy clenching around him as he continues to drag his cock in and out of you, keeping your orgasm going for as long as possible as you cry out, tears flowing down your cheeks once again.

“Fuck! M-ikee!!” Your words are broken as you blabber, now overstimulated as he continues to rub your clit and pump inside of you, his thighs clapping against the back of yours and your slick making mess everywhere.

He’s so close. You can feel his dick twitching and throbbing inside of you, his load threatening to spill. “Hold on, baby.. you can take it a bit longer yeah princess?”

In all honesty, you don’t think you can. You can already feel another orgasm approaching you, this one bigger than the last. “Fuck! I’m gonna come all inside of you, hm? Fill you up with a whole ‘nother baby.” He manages to grunt out as his thrusts become sloppy and slower.

“Please! Please! Please! Please!!” You cry out once again as your second orgasm washes over you, your eyes foggy and pussy overstimulated.

Mike’s mind goes haywire as you clench around him, clenching so right that it finally tips him over the edge and into his own climax. “Shiiitt, fu-uuck…” You can feel his warm, sticky cum fill you up, your juices now mixed together as he slowly pumps into you a couple more times before gently pulling out, looking down over your shoulder and watching as his seed drips out of your used cunt.

The straps of your loose blue tank top have fallen down, revealing one of your breasts and peaky nipple to him as he gives it a gently squeeze, a sigh leaving your lips.

Mike lifts you to move you onto your back before laying you back down on the bed, crawling on top of you as your lips meet in a passionate kiss. You’re sore and dirty now, both of your liquids all over your cunt and thighs. You let out a soft whimper as Mike moves away from the kiss, silently putting fresh boxers on before walking into the bathroom, shortly coming back with a damp cloth and a new pair of underwear for you.

You smile at the sight, your husband was always so caring and attentive when it came to aftercare, always making sure you were clean and comfortable. You wince as the cloth meets your sensitive heat, Mike whispering soft praises that you can barely catch as he ever so gently cleans you up before sliding your panties onto you.

It wasn’t much longer until the pair of you were cuddled up in bed, wrapped in your warm grey blanket with the nightlight on as a random movie played on the television. You were pressed up against his side, your head resting on his bare chest as your baby bump pressed against his hip.

“I love you so fuckin’ much baby..” were the last words you heard before you drifted off into a peaceful slumber, the warm presence of your husband making you feel safe and secure.

[na-ta-sh-aa]

If in the previous chapters I had shed a few tears this one literally made me cry rivers, it was so touching to see how Honey admitted how scared she was and how she didn't want to face this alone. I loved how she let herself go in front of Jake and how he consoled her and assured her that he will stand by her and won't leave her😭🫶🏼

“I could uh—“ Bradley Bradshaw wasn’t a Christmas guy, but he was a family first person. “I could fly out? Maybe get the kids from your mum's house and get them back to Rhode Island? I’m not doing anything this Christmas so I’ve got time.” 

I absolutely loved this conversation between Jake and Bradley. The way Jake was finally able to share his pain, worries and fears with someone other than Maz, I think was quite liberating for him. I also found Bradley's gesture of offering to pick up Jake's children and stay with them incredibly supportive and sweet. It's so nice that Bradley didn't even think about it but he immediately offered to help Jake in some way. The only thing I wonder is how Jake's mom will react to this change of plans.

“No worries, I’m uh—I don’t even know what to say man, I’m so sorry, no one deserves to go through this.” It hit Rooster too close to home, his mother died when he was seventeen from Breast Cancer very similar to yours. It took her quicker than doctors had ever anticipated.”

Bradley knows what Honey is going through and I'm sure it breaks his heart just remembering what his mother had to go through.

“When I was about your age I accidentally hit one of my commanding officers' car while pulling out of the car park at the Naval Base I was stationed at.” Jake mentioned as he let himself curl up in the world's most uncomfortable chair. “Point is we all make mistakes, don’t beat yourself up about it, but I’d definitely be a little more cautious when reading patients emergency contacts.” 

I really liked how so far both Jake and Maz have been very understanding and have tried to reassure Lydia that mistakes happen. On the one hand, Jake should also thank Lydia for calling him because at least this way he has the chance to be close to Honey during her suffering and in the worst case during her last days, at least he can stay by her side and support her in all possible ways. Without the wrong phone call it is more than likely that Jake would have continued to remain in the dark about everything.

“You–” Jake clenched his jaw as tight as he could, you swore he could have chipped his bottom teeth he was clenching that hard trying to control his frustration. “You don’t get to fucking do this to me do you understand?” 

I think that at this moment Jake was no longer able to keep all the emotions of the last few hours at bay and that's why he reacted like this. He felt betrayed by the woman he loves and by the mother of his children but I also think guilty of the fact that he pushed her to no longer trust him. I think he felt anger and frustration both at being left in the dark but above all at the possibility of losing her and not being able to do anything to prevent it.

“I didnt–I just didnt think youd, you'd care about me.” Your cries were muffled into Jake's shoulder as he held you, he wanted to climb right into the hospital bed with you, but he couldn't. So Jake compromised and leaned over just enough to wrap you in his arms and rub small circles into your back as you buried your face in his chest and shoulder. “I didn't think you’d fucking care–because you haven’t cared about me in years!”

This part was so sad, but I loved that she finally told Jake how she really feels and how she has felt about the last few years of being with him.

“I have never stopped caring about you.” Jake cried too, he couldn't hold it in any longer. “I have never and I will never stop caring about you Honey.” It was a hard statement to believe especially with what the past four years had been. “I promised you in sickness and in health, I'm here, I've got you.” Jake cooed as he tried to soothe you, your cries of pure anguish for your own situation made him want to die. What more could he possibly do to ease this burden from you, what could he possibly do to take the pain away. “I'm here, I'm right here.” 

I am increasingly convinced that Jake is telling the truth here with all his heart. I think he never stopped loving her and caring about her, I think he took some things too much about her for granted and didn't handle some situations in the best way that led Honey to distance herself from him. But I think as far as his feelings for her, they never wavered for even an instant. I loved the way he emphasized and reiterated that he is now there with her.

“Unbeknownst to both you and Jake, Lydia was watching just out of frame from her spot at the nurses station. She couldn't help but to notice the loving, all encompassing look the two of you shared.”

I loved this last part so much. Seeing how they were able to talk and say things to each other that they hadn't had the time or opportunity to say in such a natural way was so beautiful. I also found it very interesting how Honey was amazed and surprised at how Jake went against the rules to save Bradley, how he somehow changed.

“You’re totally right–” Jake cooed. “He might need to bring his flight helmet as a safety precaution.”

In all of this, the idea of ​​Bradley being totally unaware of what awaits him once he takes the children and brings them home makes me laugh.

As always, this chapter was literally wonderful. I loved seeing both Jake and Bradley's relationship in more detail as well as Jake and Honey's relationship. I loved how Jake blindly trusts Bradley and how Bradley is willing to do anything to try to help in this terrible situation that is not new to him. I think that of all people, Bradley is the one who can best understand what Jake is and will be going through. I'm glad Jake and Honey spoke clearly to each other. Seeing how despite everything they hadn't said to each other and what they went through they managed to tear down the walls they had built between them and be clear about what they were feeling really warmed my heart. I think the fact that Jake thought so much and was tormented by the fact that she didn't tell him about the cancer is a gesture that shows how much of a priority she is to Jake. The development and complexity of Jake's character is something that leaves me speechless with each passing chapter, it's really well written, I love it, just as I love the fact that now she can have the man she loves by her side. I also loved this part so much, their conversation was the thing that struck me the most because of how intense and full of emotions it was but the rest of the chapter was no less, this story and the way it is written it is of a unique and immense beauty. Truly beautiful💗✨

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Eight: [Oh, Honeybee]

Summary: Jake can’t accept why you’d keep such a life-threatening situation a secret and you can’t accept why he suddenly seems to care.

Warnings: Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil.

Word Count: 4K

Author Note: Smaller chapter, but still the same level of pain. Let me know what y’all think about the confrontation of it all.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“The fuck?” Bradley Bradshaw hated the festive season. He wasn't a Christmas guy. He didn't have an awful lot of family to celebrate with over the consumerist holiday that was shoved down your throat before mid November. He just wasn't the kinda guy who wanted to get involved in the festivities. 

“Who's calling you at ten at night?” Natasha Trace would probably end up regretting her decision to sleep with her co-worker and friend, but the drunken antics she and Rooster had gotten up to earlier in the afternoon ended up with a trip back to his house. 

“Its Hangman–” Bradley answered the naked woman beside him as he sat up in the bed he truly never should have brought her back to. He knew Phoenix would end up regretting her decision to sleep with him. A pity fuck they’d both end up calling it. “Hello?” 

“Are you busy?” Jake asked as he continued to watch you sleep. It had been a few hours since he got to the hospital and about two since he told your mother to go home for some much deserved rest. 

Bradley looked over his shoulder to see Phoenix rolling over, her chest laid flat against the mattress that smelled so much of Bradley. He sighed, peeled the covers up from over his legs and swung them over the side. 

“Nah, what’s up? Everything good?” The pair hadn’t always been on good terms, but ever since Jake had ultimately risked his own life to save Roosters, the two had been able to put their differences aside and let bygones be bygones. 

“I don’t think I’m coming back after Christmas.” Jake started as he let his head lean against the far too uncomfortable hospital chair he’d been sitting in for the better half of four hours. “Somethings’ happened and I dunno what I’m gonna do man.” It was the tone Jake was using that made Bradley frown as he slipped into his sweats. 

“Something happen to one of the kids, man?” Rooster has never heard Jake sound so defeated before. But as he padded down the hall Rooster had to stop in his tracks as Jake explained your current situation. He read the notes right from your chart, from the type of cancer to the stroke you had, how he tried to tuck your hair behind your ear and it fell from your scalp. How he’d tried to win you back, how you’d slept together, how you told him you still loved him yet thought divorce was the best way to go about things. Jake emptied his heart on Bradley sleeve and Bradley didn’t know how to process the pain and anguish Jake was obviously feeling. 

“Are you at the hospital right now? With Y/n?” 

“Yeah—yeah I just sent Maz, Y/n’s mum home to rest and shit.” Jake ran his hand across his face as he watched the IV bag containing your sedative get smaller and smaller. He wasn’t sure how you were going to react when you woke up and saw he was here. “I’ll probably go between here and her house, the kids are at mum's place and I can’t imagine what they’re thinking knowing that we’re both not there.” 

“I could uh—“ Bradley Bradshaw wasn’t a Christmas guy, but he was a family first person. “I could fly out? Maybe get the kids from your mum's house and get them back to Rhode Island? I’m not doing anything this Christmas so I’ve got time.” 

“Bradshaw,” Jake nearly sobbed. “I couldn’t ask you to do that for me.”

“It’s nothing, really, you’re one guy man, stay with your wife, or ex wife? I don’t really wanna get into your business but just text me the details when you can and I’ll organise your kids.” 

“I’ll text you my sister's number.” Jake replied. “She’ll help you out.” There was no real reason to argue, Jake knew that once Rooster had his mind set on something he was gonna do it. 

“No worries, I’m uh—I don’t even know what to say man, I’m so sorry, no one deserves to go through this.” It hit Rooster too close to home, his mother died when he was seventeen from Breast Cancer very similar to yours. It took her quicker than doctors had ever anticipated. 

He just hopes you wouldn’t meet the same untimely fate. 

“Anything man, anything you need, I'm there.” 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Time seemed more like an artificial construct as Jake watched Lydia disconnect the line that had been slowly feeding your body with a moderate range sedative. The young nurse looked guilty as she tried to avoid eye contact with the man she had accidentally told private patient information to. 

“She’ll slowly start to wake up over the next hour now that she isn’t slowly taking on the sedative.” Lydia explained. “She might be quite irritable and loopy but I’ll have her surgeon come by for assessment once she’s up.”

“When I was about your age I accidentally hit one of my commanding officers' car while pulling out of the car park at the Naval Base I was stationed at.” Jake mentioned as he let himself curl up in the world's most uncomfortable chair. “Point is we all

make mistakes, don’t beat yourself up about it, but I’d definitely be a little more cautious when reading patients emergency contacts.” 

“You’re wife’s a pretty strong woman Mr. Seresin.” Lydia smiled. “I hope that despite whatever reason she was keeping all this from you, that she’s happy you’re by her side when she wakes up.” Jake chuckled as he slightly readjusted himself and pulled his hood over his head. There were a plethora of ways you could react to his presence running through his mind, he hoped though, that the young nurse who’d accidentally filled him in on your current fight was right. 

“I hope so too kid, I hope so too.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

The slow steady rhythm of the many monitors currently tracking your vitals were the first sounds you heard as you slowly but surely woke from what you could only describe as one of the deepest states of complete and utter rest you’d ever experienced. 

Next it was the multi coloured Christmas lights that were hanging around your room. The reds, greens, yellows and blues that reminded you of nineties joy were the first things you noticed in the dimly lit hospital room you knew you were in. 

The third thing you noticed wasn’t a sound or an object, but it was the all too familiar sleeping man curled up in the most awkward position imaginable next to your bedside. Jake, your Jake. Sleeping with his mouth open wide and his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Woah—“ You groggily cooed as you felt the presence of another man checking your vitals beside you. “Whatever the hell kinda drugs you’ve got me on right now Doc has me seeing my ex husband.” You smiled ear to ear as you kept looking at Jake, sleeping, a little bit of drool even tainted his chin as his arms remained crossed and his hood covered his head. “This shits strong as.”

Doctor Ignatii continued reading and recording your vitals the more you came to, he knew, judging by the time you’d finished your dose of intravenous sedative and how cognitive you were, you’d come to realise in about two, maybe three minutes indefinitely that it wasn’t the drugs making you see the mirage of a man at your bedside, but in fact the real deal. 

“Mrs Seresin, can you follow the light for me?” Doctor Ignatii asked with a smile as he clicked on the small but effective flashlight at the end of his pen. He was gentle with the way he handled your head ever so cautiously, holding your eyelids open one by one as you followed the light accordingly. “Can you count to five?” 

“One, two, three, four, five—“ You mumbled out. Jake heard your voice as he stirred next to you and shot up with a gasp that startled you. He looked like a deer caught in headlights as he sat upright and wiped the dry drool from his chin. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living Mr Seresin, I've seen a lot of ways people have tried to sleep in those horrid chairs but I’ve never seen that particular position before.” Doctor Ignatii chuckled to himself as he clicked his pen light off and placed it back in his top pocket. “Alright Y/n, wiggle your toes and touch your nose for me.” All you did was stare at your husband. Why was he here? Who told him? “Mrs Seresin, wiggle your toes for me please.” Doctor Ignatii was a little firmer in his request, he wasn't sure if you were just distracted or if you simply couldn't comply with his request because you couldn't feel your toes.  

But when you finally did wiggle your toes, when you finally brought your index finger up to your nose and when you finally spoke, Doctor Ignatii knew that in the next hour or so when he got you up and walking, that you were going to be just fine.  

“What are you doing here?” Your voice was rather horse from the sedative but you were able to ask Jake that all too powerful question that sliced his skin clean open like one of the sharpest knives never could. Doctor Ignatii knew that he had to give you some space when he was finished assessing your ability to wiggle your toes he cleared his throat. “What the hell are you doing here?” 

“I'll give you two a moment alone, but Lydia will be in shortly.” He explained before making his way out of your hospital room. The silence was deafening as Jake cleared his throat and looked anywhere but in your eyes to begin with. 

“Jake–” You immediately asked again as you tried to sit up a little straighter. “What are you doing here?” Jake ignored your initial question and instead pressed his tongue into the middle of his cheek. His blood was boiling, he was so full of rage that you hadn’t told him you were sick that he couldn't think straight now that he knew you were awake and talking. You were supposed to be the mother of his children if at the very least. He felt like you had an obligation to disclose medical diagnoses that could alter the course of your children's lives. Right? 

“You have cancer and you didn't tell me?” Jake frowned as he spoke through a tired growl. “You have cancer and you didn’t think to mention it at all, not even a downplayed version of the truth? You just–” Jakes reaction wasn't something that surprised you, but his anger did. That anger was something you hadn’t seen in a long time, anger born from love and compassion. An anger so pure it rivalled empathy itself just in a different font. “You just negated the entire thing? Jesus Christ Y/n! You have–” 

“Stage three A, triple positive grade three invasive doctoral carcinoma.” You interrupted Jake as tears welled in your eyes. “I know, I found out back in November, I hadn’t been feeling all that well since around March.” You kicked yourself everyday for not getting yourself to a doctor sooner, but with your separation, work, the kids, you just decided to self diagnose yourself as an overworked mum who had little to no time for herself. Finding the time to see a doctor was nearly impossible, it was only when you found that lump in the shower you panicked. “Jake I–” 

“You–” Jake clenched his jaw as tight as he could, you swore he could have chipped his bottom teeth he was clenching that hard trying to control his frustration. “You don’t get to fucking do this to me do you understand?” 

“Excuse me?” You questioned as Jake stood up from the chair he’d been cramped in for the better half of the last twelve hours. “I didn’t choose to do this willingly Jake are you fucking kidding me?” It may have come out more aggressive than Jake had intended it to, but his heart hurt so much he swore he was having a heart attack the more he looked at you in the hospital bed connected to machines and wires that told him what your heart was doing and what your blood pressure was. “I didn't choose to get fucking cancer!” 

“No, no you didn’t Y/n but you chose not to tell me about it.” Jake sighed. “Am I really that bad of a person that you can't tell the father of your fuckings kids that you might be dying? Stage three!? I'd understand if you had a scare and didn’t mention it or a bad rash but stage three?” Jake spat as he walked around your hospital room like he was looking for a way out of this whole mess. “That’s closer to a death sentence than it is to a malignant mass!” 

All you could do was listen, you couldn't run this time. You had to face the man who broke your heart more ways than one as he raised his voice and walked around your hospital room with his hands on his hips. 

“You, you had a stroke too.” Jake's voice softened as did his eyes, the realisation had hit as the immediate love filled anger that clouded his judgement faded. The misguided anger that he might truly be losing the love of his life had begun to wash away as the sadness crept in. 

“Yeah–” You didn't hold it against Jake, you'd had more time to process this than he did. “Apparently the chemotherapy was just causing havoc to my nervous system and caused a clot that travelled from my leg to my brain.” You said it with a shrug, like it was no big deal. Jake's eyes widened at the idea of something that was meant to help you had done so much damage. “I was given a pamphlet, strokes were a side effect, but I just didn’t think it would happen to me you know.” 

“Honeybee–” Jake cooed as he came back over to your bedside. “I–” There was a distinct tentative pause in the way his hand automatically went to slip into yous, but even though Jake second guessed his own judgement there for a split second, he still placed his hand in yours and reveled in the way you squeezed him back. “I can't understand why you wouldn't tell me about this.” Jake had tried to understand, truly he did. He thought about it alot on the plane–all the ways in which he’d ever let you down. He understood he was a shitty husband, or had been, but this was life or death. 

Jake almost wished he never asked why and had instead just silently accepted the fact you decided not to loop him in on what was probably your biggest health complication since Samuel was born. He almost wished he hadn’t asked because the way you looked right into his eyes as your bottom lip quivered and your eyes watered with such a heartbreaking cry of anguish that ripped through your chest, Jake wished he hadnt fucking asked. 

“I didn't tell you because I just didn't think you’d care.” You cried violently as Jake helped you sit up. “I didnt–I just didnt think youd, you'd care about me.” Your cries were muffled into Jake's shoulder as he held you, he wanted to climb right into the hospital bed with you, but he couldn't. So Jake compromised and leaned over just enough to wrap you in his arms and rub small circles into your back as you buried your face in his chest and shoulder. “I didn't think you’d fucking care–because you haven’t cared about me in years!”

“I have never stopped caring about you.” Jake cried too, he couldn't hold it in any longer. “I have never and I will never stop caring about you Honey.” It was a hard statement to believe especially with what the past four years had been. “I promised you in sickness and in health, I'm here, I've got you.” Jake cooed as he tried to soothe you, your cries of pure anguish for your own situation made him want to die. What more could he possibly do to ease this burden from you, what could he possibly do to take the pain away. “I'm here, I'm right here.” 

“You don’t have to pretend.” You tried to calm yourself down as much as you could. “Please Jake you don’t have to pretend to care about me anymore, I’m not yours.” 

“No you’re not—“ Jake nodded in agreement as he pulled away to wipe your tears, you looked like hell but he wasn’t about to tell you that. To Jake you were still the most beautiful woman in the entire world, the only woman he ever needed, wanted. “But I’m still yours alright, you have me and I’m not pretending.” Jake wiped the pads of his thumbs across your cheeks, he tried not to tug at the oxygen tube feeding into your nose. “I’ve got you yeah? You don’t have to do this alone.” 

“I never wanted to do any of it alone.” You sobbed again, it was all too much. Jake knew what you meant by all, you never expected your marriage to fall apart. Neither did he. “I can’t do any of this, I’m so fucking scared.” If someone had asked Jake three years ago if his marriage would fall apart around him, he would have stood up and punched whoever had said such blasphemy in the mouth. But here he was. 

“You’re okay.” Jake tried his best to console you, he did know what else he could do in the moment beside to hold you. The kiss he left atop your forehead was so pure and full of love you swore it sent an electric shock through your body, the same kind of electricity you felt when you slept with Jake the night before you said goodbye to your kids. “I'm not leaving your side alright, “I’m here, I've got you, I can't lose you this way– I wont.” 

Jake knew this love was a burden that you both shared. The both of you were just two sinners who can't atone from a lone prayer. Two souls tied, intertwined by pride and guilt. 

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Jake was true to his word, he didn't leave your side for the rest of the day. He stayed right by your side hand in hand, just sitting there, talking, not talking, sleeping. All that mattered was that he was there. 

“What do you mean Bradley Bradshaw offered to get the kids from your mum's house?” You thought for a split second that perhaps you hadnt woken up. Or maybe you'd actually woken up in some parallel universe where your husband never forgot how to love you and he didn't have a disdain for the man who gave him his Call Sign out of rage. “Bradley Bradshaw? As in Rooster?” 

Jake couldn't help but to smile, there was so much he had to fill you in on, the two of you hadnt really sat down and spoken uninterrupted without the kids since January. Sure there were family functions and times where you and Jake had to coexist and coparents. But he never really saw a reason to tell you all about his time in North Island. You were with him when he was called to Togun the first time, there wasn't any need to really rub your nose in the fact he was called back again. After all, a part of the reason you left was because Jake prioritised his work life over his home life, more specifically, you. 

“Would you believe me if I told you I saved his life?” Jake couldn't erase the grin that grew ear to ear from his face as he watched your eyes light up with shock and excitement. He missed this, the gentle moments. 

“You did not–” In all the time you had known Jake while he was a loyalist to the United States Navy, he had never once put a toe out of line. Never pushed back, never rocked the boat. He had a goal and that goal was to reach the top. You couldn't do that while drawing unwanted attention to yourself. 

“I did,” He chuckled through that very grin that you swore was permanently pinned to his cheeks. “Even went against orders to do it.” The look of pure shock on your face told Jake all he needed to know, you didn't believe what he was telling you. 

“Who are you and what have you done with Jake Seresin?” You chuckled softly as Jake ran his thumb across your hand. “You? Going against the brace? Unheard of.” A lot of what made Jake, well, Jake–was that he loved his job. 

“Trust me Honey I never thought I'd see the damn day either.” Jake sighed, he still couldn't believe how much his time in North Island had changed him. How it broadened his perspective on all the things that made him simply him. “But he was stuck in a pretty tight spot, so was Mav, our Captain.” 

“Well–” You smiled as you readjusted yourself in your bed. Unbeknownst to both you and Jake, Lydia was watching just out of frame from her spot at the nurses station. She couldn't help but to notice the loving, all encompassing look the two of you shared. Perhaps her small mistake that usually would have been a carrier ending HIPAA violation wasn't so bad after all. “Look at The Hangman go huh, who says he's always leaving people out to dry.” 

“Oh I could still name a few–” It was organic the way you and Jake fell into a rhythm with one another when the pair of you allowed each other to do so. “But yeah, he's gonna fly in, get the kids for us because I really don't want them there for too long without at least one of us there and bring them back to your mums for us.” 

“Is she alright with that?” As always Jake knew you would think about everyone but yourself when the only person you should have been thinking about right now was you. “What if she–” Jake cut you off with a simple shake of his head.  

“I already organised it.” Jake explained softly, his thumb never stopped stroking your hand as he held it. “Your mums gonna take the kids while we figure all this out, I don't want them with mine.” It wasn't that Jake didn't love his Ma, he did. But the idea of her having the kids for an extended amount of time gave him stomach issues he couldn't handle. “I saved his life, I trust him to escort our three terrors back here.” 

“Have you met our kids? You asked with an all knowing look that Jake caught right away. Maybe Rooster wasn't the best person to call on, he had zero experience with kids, let alone Jake's twins and two year old. 

Jake knew that you knew there was a darkness in the distance, but in the moment while everything felt normal, you both laughed together knowing exactly how the flight with your kids would go for Bradley Bradshaw. 

“You’re totally right–” Jake cooed. “He might need to bring his flight helmet as a safety precaution.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @mamachasesmayhem @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream @maverick-wingman @kodzukenmaaa @eternalsams @seitmai @nota-professional @jessicab1991 @hardballoonlove @senawashere @lafrone @fanficfandomlove @withahappyrefrain @dizzybee03 @maisie-rebloging-blog @goldenseresinretriever @a-reader-and-a-writer @sunlightmurdock @shelbycillian @memoriesat30 @accioprocrastination @the-aspiring-fanfic-writer @athenabarnes @eternallyvenus @emma8895eb

[iguana-braces]

I Heard From the Heavens (Rooster x Reader)

Based on this request (and also the iconic “Hold My Hand”) – Masterlist

Description: “You can cry every last tear

I won't leave 'til I understand

Promise me, just hold my hand”

Warnings: death, like, lots of talk about death, there’s a funeral, Rooster definitely has some things to work through, it’s 95% sad as shit and 5% not?

Word Count: 2.9k

Note: I’m sure this is way more sad than the original prompt and I am virtually hugging each and every one of you readers in apology. The total number of times I cried writing this: 19. But hey, we finally get a Rooster POV so that's fun 

Also, we’ve got some OC side characters here, so they get randomly generated names because I don’t want to do Y/F/N, Y/F/H/N, Y/M/C/A, etc. Feel free to mentally change the names as you’d like, I’m not a telepath, I cannot stop you.

Spoilers for Top Gun: Maverick (in case you still haven't seen it but are reading fanfic for it for some reason?)

You thought you'd be able to make it through the day, even as you dressed in all black.

Even when you saw Bradley in his dress uniform. Even as the two of you drove in near silence to the church. Right up until you stood at the door and tightly hugged your friend, Iris, who looked like she hadn’t slept in a month. While you knew she was a strong woman, it was like a simple gust of wind would blow her away at any time.

“It’s good to see you,” she said quietly. It didn’t feel like you could find any words that meant the right thing. I’m sorry for your loss didn’t feel like enough. My condolences. Is there anything I can do to help? You’d wanted to ask that on an hourly basis ever since you heard. All you could do was hold her hands and try to smile and hope that she knew what it meant. That was when the cracks in your façade started to show.

Then inside, there was the casket covered with an American flag, next to a picture of Wes in his dress uniform. The same one he was wearing now. Inside the casket. Funerals were always strange. How were you supposed to reconcile the memories of someone, their laugh, their smile, their shitty sense of humor, with the fact that what remained of them was now lying cold and eternally immobile just a few meters away from you? That was the most infuriating part of it all, the permanence. It's death. It's final, forever fixed and there's nothing anyone can do to change it. You don't even get the chance to try.

Throughout the service, you could feel Bradley’s eyes on you, but you couldn’t bear to meet his gaze. You bowed your head when they ordered prayers, you laughed at the anecdotes of Wes’ bumbling proposal to Iris, his love for rescuing animals, and so on. But something else kept your teeth clenched painfully tight through it all.

This was the church where Wes and Iris had been married, just two years earlier. A wedding you’d been a bridesmaid for, wishing them nothing but happiness and joy in their future together. But two years was all they got. And suddenly, the engagement ring around your finger felt ice cold against your skin.

Then there was the internment. They fired rifles and handed Iris that folded up flag and now you were really crying. There was so much ceremony involved in saying goodbye, summing up the entirety of one person’s life in a matter of a few hours. Celebrating them, honoring them, and mourning their absence all at once. Where were you even supposed to start?

You couldn’t help but think just how easily it could be you holding that flag. Even though Rooster was beside you now, he couldn't stay there forever. He’d have to leave again, and maybe one day he’d be coming back in pieces like Wes. But you had known this, you had known this from the start. And you knew it when you accepted his proposal, what was supposed to be the beginning of your future together. Still, the reality of it all had never seemed to hit you until just now.

You finally let yourself glance over at him. His lashes were wet with tears, but he remained strong, stoic, silent, saluting rigidly as Wes’ coffin was lowered into the ground.

Then there was the wake and laughter and more tears and all you wanted to do when you got home was collapse. Instead, you put on a movie in bed and let yourselves fall asleep to it. Anything to take your mind off it all.

But you couldn’t sleep. Lying there, staring at Bradley in the dark, trying to memorize every inch of his face, the curl of his hair, the temperature of the warmth radiating from his living, breathing body. Closing your eyes felt like a betrayal of the highest degree, you didn't dare miss out on a single second of existence with him.

But the longer you were awake, the worse you felt. There had been times, especially during long deployments, where you woke up in a cold sweat, thinking you’d heard a knock at the door or the ringtone for a call from a voice you never wanted to hear. And sometimes there was no way of talking to Bradley, no way of knowing if your fears were valid or not. All you could do is sit and wait and hope with everything you had.

Even now, it felt like that knock might come at any moment, waking you up from the dream that he was there with you. That was just exhaustion and trauma playing with your mind, but you couldn’t lie there any longer. Even sitting in the kitchen with a cup of tea, you felt yourself itching to walk past the bedroom again, just to make sure he was still there.

Taking only your keys and a jacket, you left. These streets were familiar enough that you didn’t mind being out so late on your own, letting your mind wander as your feet carried you aimlessly forward.

Anybody you married could leave you a widow, Rooster wasn't the exception. Car accidents were common enough, so were undetected diseases and random acts of violence, natural disasters, animal attacks. But Rooster chose to put himself in the line of fire. He was a target in the air, a threat, while piloting a delicate aircraft going hundreds of miles per hour, thousands of feet off the ground. A lot could go wrong up there, as you were both well aware.

For the most part, he never really talked about what happened on missions and of course, it had to have been classified to some degree. But there was something more than just state secrets that he was hiding in his silence. Sometimes you could just tell something had gone wrong, he'd been in some kind of danger but he never wanted you to worry about what could've happened. What was important was that he made it back in one piece and that’s all there was to say about it.

At the same time, you had stopped telling him about your nightmares. They didn’t mean anything. They were just the result of your neurons randomly firing as your unconscious mind processed information, or something like that. Just a passing feeling, nothing to waste your time worrying about and nothing to cause him to worry about. But sometimes it felt like you were too busy keeping things from each other that you ran out of material for a real conversation.

And what kind of life was that? Is this what it was like for everyone else? For Iris and Wes? For Rooster’s parents? God, what you would’ve given to know them. For what felt like the fiftieth time that day, your sore eyes started tearing up again.

Letting your head fall back towards the sky, you stared up at the stars. Beautiful as always, but who knows how many of them were long-dead already, blinked out of existence, and you just couldn’t see it yet. We’re only ever witnessing the pasts of the stars, what they used to be, beams of light traveling through space long after the source has destroyed itself. Memories, that’s all they were. Nothing but blazing, brilliant memories.

~~~~

Rooster had woken up before the sun, as always. Noting your absence next to him, he let himself assume you were in the bathroom and rolled over, closing his eyes again. After the events of yesterday, a little sleeping in could be considered acceptable.

But when he woke an hour later and you were still gone, that was when he knew something was wrong. The house was empty and your phone was still on the nightstand, your wallet still in your purse. Only your keys and sandals were missing.

You weren’t anywhere outside, and none of your friends seemed to have woken up yet, despite his repeated attempts to reach them. None of this would’ve made sense if it weren’t for the context of the situation.

He'd held your shaking hands at the funeral, seen the hollowness of your eyes as they fixed on the casket, probably imagining him lying within it. That’s why he’d always hated funerals. Not only was he starting to feel like he’d been to a few too many of them, but they just felt too much like a mirror, a solemn reminder of his own mortality. Yes, they were a way to help people grieve and to pay your respects and you were supposed to celebrate the deceased’s life, but all he could ever hear was a silent clock ticking down the minutes until it was his turn.

Even though he barely remembered the specifics of what happened, and he was much too young to understand it anyway at the time, he remembered that his dad had been there one minute, and then he was gone forever the next. And then his mom was gone too, and he'd lost friends in the service. He'd even come close to death's door on his own a few times. Loss had been such a huge part of his life, he had forgotten what it was like to fear it.

Until he met you. The thought of losing you was one thing, but the thought of you losing him was worse. That pain had always been a part of him, that gnawing ache of what if. What if they weren't gone, what if I had done more with them while they were here? Losing you was assured to split him in two for the umpteenth time, but he could learn to carry that pain again. The problem was that he refused to be the one who’d inflict that pain upon you. That's why he'd waited so long to let you in. It was a lot to ask of you, expecting you to make peace with the fact that he's willingly putting himself into dangerous situations. And how could he possibly promise to spend his life with you while continually gambling with it on each and every mission?

A familiar voice started to speak in the back of his mind, saying, Just let her go.

No, he couldn’t. If something really was wrong, if you were in danger and he gave up, he’d never be able to live with himself.

Wearing down the tires on his truck, he drove down every city street searching for you, stopping by all of your favorite places even though most weren’t even open yet. But place after place was devoid of all life, and that only made him want to tear the steering wheel in half.

Stopped at a red light near the beach, his foot tapping impatiently on the gas pedal, that was when he heard it.

"Rooster!"

He thought he imagined it, he couldn’t see anyone nearby.

“Rooster!”

Something in the rearview mirror caught his eye, a figure waving their arms some distance behind him. He almost jumped out of the car then and there, leaving it idling at the stoplight, but rationality told him to make a U-turn and park at a lot nearby.

Stumbling over the sand dunes, holding your shoes in your hand, you met him at the top of the beach. He wanted to scream at you because where the fuck had you been and what the fuck were you thinking, but you looked unharmed and really, the most important thing was that he had found you. Besides, what was he supposed to say, Glad you’re okay and by the way, I think we should break up because I’m terrified of what might happen?

Sighing, you spoke first, explaining, “I went for a walk but then I was too tired to walk home so I fell asleep on a bench until a cop woke me up. Sorry.”

All he could do was nod, as if that explanation instantly placated the wasp's nest of anxiety buzzing inside him.

“Can we talk?” he finally asked.

You nodded tiredly. “Can we sit though? I shouldn’t have walked two miles in these shoes.”

Sinking into the sand, he wrapped his arms around his knees, kicking up sand as one of his feet jittered uncontrollably. You sat next to him, picking at the stray grasses that grew in the dune. He’d been the one to initiate this talk, but now his mind was as blank as the cloudless, sunrise-streaked sky.

Don’t think, just do. Just say it.

“On that mission with Mav, he got shot down,” Rooster started, his throat dry from calling out your name for so long. “They told us not to go back for him, but I did. And they shot me down too.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you shake your head. I know, he wanted to say, I’m sorry.

“There’s more.”

“Go on,” you nodded.

“We found a plane and got out of there, but on the way back to the ship, they were on us again. We didn’t have any weapons, couldn’t eject, they had missile lock on us and…” He could still feel the shuddering of the ancient F-14 around him, the dull clicks of the ejection handles as he pulled on them futilely. “There was nothing we could do. If it weren’t for Hangman, then–”

“Hangman is the only reason you’re not dead right now?”

“Yeah." Rooster never thought he’d be indebted to that cocky bastard for anything, but without Hangman, he’d never have come home.

"Huh." It seemed you were just as surprised at this turn of events as he was. The events of that day remained an adrenaline-filled blur in his mind, but the aftermath was painfully clear to him.

"You don’t even have time to think about it, really. My life didn’t flash before my eyes. It was just one second that passed right by and that was it, we were back on the carrier. Like nothing happened. But then yesterday and today…” Despite being firmly seated on the ground, it felt like he was pulling seven Gs, his chest crushing under the weight of his own words before he spoke them. “Dying, if it’s quick, it’s easy. You blink and you’re just gone. But for everyone else, everyone you leave behind, it lasts a lifetime. You die over and over for them, every time they think of you. And I don’t want to do that to you.”

~~~~~~~~~

The strand of grass you’d been wrapping around your finger split, pulled too tightly.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Bradshaw,” you whispered. “Don’t you dare.”

“I’m sorry–”

“I love you, but you don’t get to decide what I can and can’t handle. I decide that.”

You could tell he wanted to argue, to force you out and rebuild his defenses so impossibly high he’d never see the sun again. But you’d made your decision hours ago, before your siesta on that splintery bench.

Staring up at the stars, it was as if something clicked into place inside you. Ancient memories, that was all you had. The present was nothing but a second, over and done with and gone before you knew it. The future was uncontrollable and terrifying. But he was right, memories are with us forever, the good and the bad.

“Your parents. You don’t hate them, do you?”

Rooster almost looked offended at the question. “...No.”

“You don’t curse the fact that you’re their son just because they’re gone, do you?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Do you think your mom ever regretted the day she met your dad?” Rooster went still at this for a few moments, staring into the waves on the shore. As he shook his head, tears welled over his eyes and he dropped his head to his knees.

“No, she didn’t, because they loved each other,” you answered for him, sniffling, your voice wavering more and more. “And you love them and they loved you and that’s the point of this whole thing. We love each other for as long as we can, even though it might hurt in the end because– Because it lasts a lifetime. It gives us something to hold onto. I’d never regret loving you, Rooster. Not a single moment of it.”

There was more you wanted to say, but your tears were too heavy now. You felt Bradley’s arms around you and you clung to him, his body shaking against yours as you both finally let yourselves cry.

“Just promise me the same,” you said softly.

"I do,” Bradley sighed. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[ally-holmes]

Nancy’s Wedding | Steve Harrington x Reader (ch.2)

Series Masterlist

Chapter One – Chapter Three.

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader.

Word count: 4612

Nancy's Wedding | Chapter Two.

Steve and Robin's apartment wasn't what Y/N expected. It wasn't much bigger than the one she shared, but it seemed bigger. It had very little furniture, all well placed and with a purpose, everything was clean and spotless. Their bedroom doors were open when they invited her in, and that's why she got a glimpse of their insides. Robin's had its walls filled with different posters, she had a chair with a bunch of clothes piled up on it, and the sheets on her bed were undone; it was as chaotic as her. Steve's, on the other hand, didn't have any decorations on its walls, the bed was perfectly made and the untidiest spot in the place was a little pile of papers on top of his desk. Y/N would have never marked Steve down as a neat guy, but now that she saw it she thought it made sense because he also took very special care of his car.

Robin closed both doors in a quick movement as she kept talking about the building and neighborhood in a rant nobody was paying attention to. Steve took Y/N's coat from her to hang it next to his and picked Robin's from the back of the couch as a habit. Their dynamic was very interesting. As Robin kept buzzing around, offering things, and having ideas, Steve just gestured in silence for Y/N to take a seat and handed her a soda from the kitchen before taking a seat next to her on the couch. Running out of energy, Robin sat on the floor facing the other two.

"Why am I here, Robin?" Y/N cut the other woman before she could start rambling again.

"We need a story and we need for you two to actually know each other in case the others ask something."

"You've seen too many movies," the man sighed, relaxing in his seat with boredom. He was trying to hide his anxiousness, and if Y/N hadn't been paying attention she would've been fooled.

"What kind of story?"

"Well, how did you two meet, for starters."

"Lies will only mess things up. I think the truth a little spiced up is good enough. We met at work when you two came in looking for a job."

Turning towards her, Steve was now visibly paying attention. "And when did we start dating?"

"When was the last time you complained about being single with one of your hometown friends?"

"New year's eve. I think… Yeah, I told Dustin I was upset I didn't have a date to kiss at midnight."

"Nothing after that? Not even for Valentine's day?"

"Nope. I haven't complained to them."

"Lucky them," Robin mumbled under her breath. Steve shot her a killing stare.

"Fine, then we started dating by the end of January. That explained that you haven't complained about being single anymore and the fact that you're willing to take me to a wedding as a formal introduction."

They spent hours talking. Robin threw a few questions at them at the beginning so they started to know each other properly, but she soon became a mere spectator, drifting her eyes from one to the other, pleased with what she'd accomplished. Y/N and Steve talked about their childhoods and their time in high school, their relationship with their parents, and the circumstances that brought them to be in Chicago working at The Silver. It seemed quite superficial, nonetheless. With the heavy talk going away, they discussed movies, TV shows, and music. As might be expected, Steve Harrington was a Top Gun and Lethal Weapon fan, he'd seen every Tom Cruise movie to date too. She was nerdier, she loved science fiction and the kind of adventures that mixed history with myth, like Indiana Jones, for example. A point they had in common was their passion for Steven Spielberg's work. Steve seemed reluctant to admit that he cried with E.T. but Y/N knew just how to press the right buttons to have him confess.

Steve was a huge fan of Magnum P.I. while Y/N was more of The A-Team. They spent forty minutes just arguing about the plot of both shows, counting the pros and cons for each one.

"Okay, fine. Forget about action shows. Golden Girls. That's the best show in the history of television," she stated.

"I haven't seen it."

"Don't lie, Steve! He loves it," Robin made her small intervention.

"Betty White is a treasure. You should be ashamed of not admitting her amazing acting abilities, Harrington."

In their praising of actresses, they ended up confessing how much they both loved Murder She Wrote. When Y/N mentioned the X-Files, Steve started complaining about he knew everything about the show just because his best friend, Dustin Henderson, kept calling him and writing him just to talk about the latest episode that aired. It was so fun to see him all fed up with his friend; Steve talked with the affection of a brother, always complaining about the behavior of his young sibling, but loving him anyway.

With music, Steve was open to new things and wasn't as judgy as Y/N expected; he even liked songs from bands that he didn't enjoy fully and she could understand his position. It was easier to just like songs than bands. Still, he was more of an eighties rock type of guy. He liked Queen, Bowie, Tears for Fears, Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen, Journey, and The Police mostly, he also knew every Madonna song thanks to Robin's obsession. Y/N also liked some of Steve's favorite bands and that was something they started talking about how sad they were when Steve Perry left Journey in 1987. His voice always fits perfectly with the band! She also liked The Offspring, Metallica, Dio, AC/DC, and as for guilty pleasure: A-Ha. A very intense mix of music tastes.

It wasn't intentional, but the moment she mentioned her music preference, Steve and Robin shared a sad look. They recovered soon and pretended it hadn't been there, so she just ignored it. She decided that her music taste must've remembered them about someone from their past, maybe someone who wasn't there anymore, and she didn't want to push it.

"Are we expected to dance at the wedding, Harrington?" She tried to break the layer of ice that was building between them.

"Sure. I'm a pretty good dancer."

"He's not. He just loves himself too much."

"Well, I can dance even if I'm not good. A slow dance is a different topic. If you want to have a slow dance we'll have to practice or you'll end up with your feet destroyed."

"You don't know how to slow dance? What did you do at the prom dance?"

"I never went to one."

"Really?" Robin sounded shocked.

"Not even middle school."

"You most definitely need to practice," the woman sentenced.

"Cool, now I have homework," Y/N sighed. "By the way, do they know about you in Hawkins?"

Steve and Robin shared a look before staring at her like she had grown another head, "Know what?"

"That you aren't straight." To their silence, she looked up at both of them, "What?"

"How– How do you know?" Robin was very pale.

"Don't look so scared, Jesus! I don't think people at work know, I just pay attention. The moment you see a woman you like, lo ogle her just like Steve does."

"You've known since the beginning?" The other woman was having trouble processing the information. Steve had tensed when the conversation started, but the moment Y/N proved that she didn't mean any harm he had relaxed picking some chips from a bowl.

"Pretty much, yeah."

"And you still change next to me in the locker room?"

Arching an eyebrow, Y/N stared right into Robin's soul. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know." Robin, on the floor, hugged her knees against her chest hiding her face.

"To think that just a few days ago you were claiming to be too old…" Y/N came down from the couch to the floor, kneeling next to Robin she hugged her. "Come on, Buckley, you certainly didn't expect me to hunt you down, did you? We've met for three years!"

As Robin let her emotions overflow her, Steve explained that in general terms the town didn't know about Robin, but their closest friends did. Therefore, at the wedding, there would be people that know and people that don't know.

Steve offered to drive her home. They had spent a lot of time talking and planning their sham for the wedding and Steve felt the duty of compensating for her time investment somehow. However, she declined the offer as she had the feeling that it would push her luck. She'd had a great time with them and for the first time, she really thought they were just friends hanging out. She almost forgot that it was all fake.

"Jesus Christ, Y/N, you make it very hard for people to do good things for you, you know? Fine! I won't drive you, but I'm walking you to the subway stop."

Proving that was his final word, Steve put on his coat and got out of the apartment. Y/N followed. She wasn't accustomed to being treated kindly without a hidden aim. Spencer and Dewey and Doctor Ross were the only ones who had done it and she never knew how to respond. Steve was trying, apparently, but he also wanted her to pretend to be dating him for his ex-girlfriend's wedding so…

"Why are you doing this, Steve?"

"Doing what?"

"Offering me rides and walking me to the train station."

He gave her a weird look frowning.

"I'm just confused. In these three years, you and I hadn't really bonded. We work in silence, mostly, and when we talk we banter."

"You don't think we're friends," it was a statement more than a question, but the tone was skeptical.

"Are we? Don't get me wrong, it's just that my knowledge about friendship came from the movies."

"I got my first real best friend when I was eighteen and he was thirteen. I'm in no place to judge you, but I've been trying to befriend you. Robin too. And sometimes it looks like we're building something, then you close yourself."

"Hmm… Yeah, Denny points that out a lot. I'm sorry, I don't do it on purpose."

He dismissed her apology with a gesture, "Who's Denny?"

"My roommate."

"Since when?"

"Since the beginning. Did you think I could afford an apartment by myself?"

"No… No. It's just that you never mentioned him. That's all."

"Her."

"What?"

"Denny as in short for Denise. She works at a record store. We barely see each other. Best roommate ever."

"You're weird."

"Still you don't say it as if it's a bad thing, you say it as a compliment."

"Because it is one."

"Liar."

She pushed him with her body. Laughing, he pushed her back softly. After a beat of silence, Steve complained about the weather and their conversation became empty of depth but full of intentions. They were building something, and now she knew it was meant to be built. Steve waited until she used the subway token to get inside the platform, and although she couldn't see him, he waited until the train arrived.

*

The band was still giving it all on stage, some punk rock from the new era with a woman with her short white-blond hair in spikes as the frontwoman. It was good, and Y/N bounced her head to the rhythm as she dried the last glass in her hands.

It was busy at The Silver when the most regular customer of all walked his way to his favorite stool with a friend right behind him. They had to push and fight their way between already drunk people, they even had to make people who were already on the stools.

"You're here early, Doctor Ross," she smiled politely.

"I'm treating a friend here. Mark, this is my guardian angel, Y/N."

"We've met before. How's your wrist?" Doctor Greene offered his hand, so Y/N gave him hers and he moved it, flexing it. "Healed well."

"I certainly hope so. What can I offer you, doctors?"

"I want a Flowery Miracle. Mark would take a Silver Sin." Ross' smile showed mischief.

"What the hell is a Silver Sin?"

"One of our best cocktails, Doctor Greene. Kind of sweet," she explained as she started to mix their drinks. "How's Carol doing?"

"She's at home now. Don't know much more. Hey, did I tell you about our new med students?" His change of topic was revealing.

Greene locked eyes with her and shook his head. As far as she knew, he was Ross' best friend and had the patience of a saint, as Ross had told her.

"What about the students?"

"They're third-year students and they think they know it all, but there's this particular student that's driving us crazy."

"He's not that bad. He has potential."

"Has he?" She half listened, still working on their drinks.

"Well, he's Benton's student. He wants to be a surgeon, you see, and for doing that he must be soulless."

"You just want him on your ER team, Mark."

"He's good with patients. He still has a lot to learn but he has potential."

"He's also cute. Thank you," Ross smiled when she gave him a long glass with a neon yellow drink and a straw.

"Oh, yeah. Very cute." Greene nodded to her, eying weirdly the grayish, sparkling drink in his voluptuous glass. "John Carter is the new toy for the nurses. Until now Dough was the most handsome doctor at the ER. Although I disagreed on the matter. Now is Carter."

"How cute is he?"

"I think you would like him. He's cute and he knows it. Carter always looks up; he lowers his head so he can look up through his eyelashes with his brown puppy eyes. He even wears suspenders!" Ross complained.

"Oh! Oh, this is good. Very good." Greene complimented the drink.

As she moved to serve other customers she found Steve looking at her; she winked at him. The night ran before them, Ross asked for some scotch for him after his cocktail but pushed Greene to try a different one. She overheard parts of their conversations and they asked her opinion on stupid subjects as the alcohol was working its magic. Mark Greene was leaning his head on the counter, his hands playing with a straw as he mumbled about how his wife kept pushing on the matter of him changing the ER for private practice. Ross wasn't even listening to him now, looking at a woman on the other side of the counter that wasn't paying attention to him.

"Should I call you a cab, Doctor Ross?"

The older man blinked several times in an effort to focus his eyesight, he smiled on a thin line deepening his chin against his neck. "Yeah. Yeah… That'll be good, kid."

"Same taxi for both of you?"

"Sure. I have to take care of this big baby over here."

"No. No. I have– I have to go home. Jen– Jen's going to be pissed. I– I'm really drunk." He laughed so hard he fell from his stool. Ross tried to help him up, falling too.

"Don't be ridiculous. She went to her parents' house, remember? With Rachel, for the weekend."

"Oh… Oh! That's true! That's so very true! You're a terrible friend. You got me drunk!!"

"Only a little bit."

The rest of the night went by with its usual flow. A couple of drunk boys tried to have her number, although they were too drunk to see her clearly. A group of secretaries that had Sunday free approached Steve after having ogled him for hours from one of the booths; he talked politely to them, showing his charm without really flirting.

The clock struck six o'clock and the place was empty. The waiters were already mopping the dancing floor and Steve and Y/N were finishing the bar. Robin got out of the kitchen dragging her feet as if they weighed a few tons each.

"I. Am. Exhausted." She groaned.

"You look like shit." To Steve's statement, Robin flipped him the bird. He returned the gesture with a smile.

"We still have half an hour to close up. What's wrong with you, people?"

"Mickey, we might start to think of closing sooner."

"Listen to him," Y/N claimed, pointing at Dewey. Spencer gave her a stern look. "Sorry, Mr. Spencer."

"Why do you just call us mister when you want to mock us? I'm getting old with these workers, Vincent."

Y/N shared a complicit smile with Dewey.

Spencer went behind the bar counter to look for the tip jar and do the equal piles, but he was so tired that he decided he wanted a glass of water first. He took one of the recently dried squared glasses, put it under the faucet, and filled it. The moment he was about to drink, his hand shook and contracted against his will breaking the glass in his hand. As he cursed, Steve approached to help him.

"Get away!" Spencer and Dewey yelled at the same time.

Y/N gave Spencer a rag, "I'll take of this. Go clean it up."

"Be careful," the owner pleaded.

Steve didn't understand why his boss was fine accepting her help, but not his. She crouched under the counter, took out a box of latex gloves, and put on two in each hand before picking up the glasses pieces that rested on the floor and sink.

"I– What's wrong?" He looked confused at Y/N and Dewey.

She knew the answer, of course she knew, but she would never tell a secret that was not hers.

"Michael is seropositive," the old man explained. "The last tests showed up that his transmissivity of the virus had decreased, but we still need to be careful. I know this is kind of too much. There's no way you'll get infected by touching someone else's blood unless you had an open wound, but…" Shrugging, Dewey faced Steve for the first time. "Better be safe than sorry."

"I have this under control, boss, you can go with him." To Y/N's proposal, Dewey nodded and left.

She was scrubbing the blood with bleach with the same sentiment as someone who had just committed a crime and wanted to destroy the evidence. Steve waited for her to get up again before talking.

"I– I don't understand."

Taking the gloves off, she gave him a skeptical look. "They've been together since the seventies. Together, together. Spencer and Dewey. They have a business together and they share a house, not an apartment, a house. Did you really not connect the dots, Harrington?"

"In his defense, I didn't do it either," Robin confessed under her breath.

"Well, yeah. They took me in when I was homeless at seventeen. I lived at their house until I was twenty-one, really. We found out about Spencer's five years ago. If I'm telling you this is only because Dewey agreed; if you want details, ask them."

Making a beeline to the office, Y/N left Steve and Robin to their thoughts. Spencer was seated in his chair as Dewey took care of the thin cuts on his hands wondering out loud if they should go to the hospital or not. She informed them that everything was clean and that Buckley and Harrington might have questions before disappearing.

Robin and Steve were sharing a whispered conversation with the counter between them.

"Hey, Harrington! The washrooms aren't going to clean themselves. Come on, you take one and I take the other."

In less than fifteen minutes the ladies' restroom was spotless, its walls and floors so clean that they reflected the light, and the mirrors were free from finger marks, dried water spots, and lipstick. Why use lipstick on the mirror? She'll never know. The place had a particular clean smell, a mix of cleaning products and bleach. Usually, it would have taken her a little more time, now, however, she had used the spike of adrenaline that the broken glass gave her to finish the five stalls, five sinks, five mirrors, doors, walls, and floors in less time. Thank God Steve was doing the other restroom, her adrenaline spike had left her and she could barely keep her eyes open with exhaustion.

Robin had been waiting outside and gave her a tired but anxious smile.

"You done? As we have tonight and tomorrow night off, I thought that maybe we could do the slow dance thing. What do you say?"

"I say I want to go home and sleep, Buckley." She led the path towards the locker room, closely followed by Robin.

"Steve will drive you home, and he will pick you up this afternoon. Just after lunch. We can have kind of a sleepover at our place!"

"Aren't we too old for sleepovers?"

"How many sleepovers did you have as a child? See? None. I had two before meeting all the gang. You can sleep in Steve's bed, he'll sleep on the couch."

"Now that seems just mean."

"He offered. Come on, say yes. Please. Please. Please!"

She sighed leaning her forehead against the cold material of her locker's door, "When I was little I wanted a dog. I've been trying to convince Denny of adopting one. Since I've met you I have that experience covered."

"Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?"

"A statement."

*

Just as Robin had told her, Steve Harrington was waiting outside her apartment building at three o'clock in the afternoon. He was leaning against his car side, legs crossed by the ankles, arms crossed across his chest, his hair allowing a perfect lock of hair to fall down to his forehead, and sunglasses. Damn, he was hot! He looked like the main character in a romantic movie from the eighties and there was no way he didn't know it. She loved it. She was screwed.

With her approach, he closed the distance offering his hand to take her duffel bag and put it in the backseat while he explained that he had done some grocery shopping for the sleepover and the bags filled the car trunk. His movements were smooth and clean, so calculated that he didn't leave room for her to open the passenger seat door to get inside, he was the one who opened it instead. Steve gave her his most shiny smile, pleased with her efforts for not smiling herself, pursing her lips, and biting the inside of her cheeks. She wasn't subtle.

The car ride was filled with Steve talking about how Robin had insisted on renting some tapes at the video store, which led to how he worked at a video store with Robin in Hawkins called Family Video.

"I honestly had no clue of movies and the manager was Keith. We belonged to different species in school, you know, he was the nerdy type and kind of creepy too, if I'm honest. He worked at the Arcade for some time and he never told us why he changed to Family Video now that I think about it, but there I go, with a poor resume basically begging him to take me in. Robin helped me get the job, I owed her. Keith's like this movie freak that wants you to know all the little details and remember all the names… Dude, I just watch a movie to enjoy it not to analyze it."

"And to make out with your date."

He gave her an offended look, she tilted her head to the side so he sighed nodding. "Yeah, that too. My point is that my only working experience was at an ice cream shop at the new mall of Hawkins, and that fucking mall blew up in July. I had nothing, and Keith was asking me about my favorite movies. I told him about the Star Wars movies."

"Really?"

"Yeah. What? Do I not look like someone who would enjoy some space battles?"

"You watched them with that friend of yours, Dustin, didn't you?"

"You're a demon and I hate you."

"That's a yes."

"Yes. It is, in fact, a yes. The movies were good, and I liked them. Dustin and I even had a secret handshake, you know? Pretending to be using the lightswords and all." He sounded very pleased with himself.

"Lightsabers."

"Whatever. Do you know what Keith asked me?"

"What?"

"To name the movie. I didn't fucking know they had different names!" And just with that, Y/N was laughing so hard tears were falling from her eyes. Steve enjoyed it, discovering there that it was the very first time that he had seen her laugh so truly. He did that. "I told him I liked the one with the teddy bears better."

"You did not!!"

"He wasn't going to give me the job. I assure you that even if I had had the same knowledge that him, he would still refuse. The guy hated my guts, man."

"Because you were popular in school and he was not?"

"Precisely. Also, the fact that I was an asshole in school didn't help my case."

"You were? I mean, I guess that it's just something that goes hand to hand, popularity and idiocy."

"In my defense, I'll say I was young, stupid, and had terrible friends. Although I doubt we can call them that. Robin would be pleased to explain my assholery behavior."

"Were you the kind of guy to mess with others?"

"Hell no. No. I didn't make fun of people but I didn't stop Tommy and Carol. And there's one time in which I broke Jonathan's camera. Bad time."

"Oh, my God! Did you bully the soon-to-be husband of your ex-girlfriend? Dude!"

"I know…"

"Dude!!"

He couldn't help but laugh with her. A comfortable silence settled between them afterward.

"So, what did Robin tell Keith for him to change his mind?" She reoriented the topic.

"That if he hired me, hot girls would come inside the store at all times."

"Big promise."

"I'm charming."

"You know, there's one thing that really fascinates me about you."

"Only one? Ouch."

"You're handsome. You're cute, you have the looks and the charm, and you know how to use it. You know the tools you have at your disposal. However, with some women, you use them perfectly and with most of them you just–" she snapped her fingers. "Man, I don't know how to explain it, but it's like you're all suddenly shy and awkward, and like you have zero confidence and, although it's very cute, it's also like watching a car crash."

Steve nodded as if he was considering her words. "That might be because I really have zero confidence," he confessed with a sad smile. "I don't do rejection well, and it's all I know which is ironic. Let me tell you, though, that all I'm going to remember of what you just said is that you think I'm cute."

"I don't."

"Yeah, you do. You said I'm cute, twice."

"That doesn't mean I think you are."

"But you do."

"I do not."

"It's alright, kid, I know I'm cute."

"Bite me!"

"Only if you ask nicely."

The fact that he gave her the same comeback she had given him before only made her want to smile more. Fucking Steve Harrington!

To be continued… 

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