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rphelperblog · 3 years ago

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Will Herondale Quote Rp Meme

Based on the victorian era welsh shadowhunter of famed humor, heart, and looks as well as a deep fear of ducks by Cassandra Clare- feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

“Life is a book and there are a thousand pages I have not yet read.”

"Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck.”

"Lack of certification hardly proves intelligence,"

“No, i mean enterprising. When I mean morally deficient, I say,`Now, that is something i would have done´”

“If love is great, then it is worth fighting for.”

“He is my greatest sin.”

"Dear me, massive blood loss. Death could be imminent.”

“With God on your side, what does luck matter?”

“I think I may be in love with you. Marriage could be in the cards.”

“How rude. Many who have gazed upon me have compared it to gazing at the radiance of the sun.”

"Is it because I'm better-looking than you?”

“If there is a life after this one, let me meet you in it.”

“You said I am a good man,but I am not that good a man. And I am--I am catastrophically in love with you.”

“I thought perhaps that when you told me you did not love me that my own feelings would fall away and atrophy, but they have not. They have grown every day. I love you now more desperately, this moment, than I have ever loved you before, and in an hour I will love you more than that”

She may be a thousand years old, but she makes an incomparable jam tart. Beauty fades, but cooking is eternal.”

“On the contrary—in order to learn how to pretend to be inebriated, once must become inebriated at least once, as a reference point. Six-Fingered Nigel had been at the mulled cider—“

"That silly thing? Men going around getting their heads chopped off for love? Ridiculous."

"Clearly the word excellent means something else on this side of the Atlantic.”

“I shall charm him with such force that when I am done, he will be left lying limply on the ground, trying to remember his own name.”

"I have wanted to do this, every moment of every hour of every day that I have been with you since the day I met you.”

"I had come to think i would never love anyone, but I love her.”

“Do reasons matter when there's nothing that can be done to change things.”

T’aint my way to turn down payment, but any man who looks like you has got no need of love potions, and that’s a fact.”

“since you say there will be another life for me, let us both pray I do not make as colossal a mess of it as I have this one.”

Our souls are knit. We are one person,”

“While the society disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way.”

you were the mirror of my soul. I saw the good in me in you. In your eyes alone I found grace. When you are gone from me, who will see me like that?”

“Who knows your courage better than I?”

“There are so many worse things than death. Not to be loved or not to be able to love: that is worse.”

“What kind of monster could possibly hate chocolate?"

“Is this a game? We just blurt out whatever word comes next to mind? In that case mine is ‘genuphobia’. It means an unreasonable fear of knees.”

“There's plenty of sense in nonsense sometimes, if you wish to look for it.”

“Oh, I can never get enough, which, incidentally, is what your sister said to me when-"

"You wish to marry me now?"

"Such harsh truths so early in the morning cannot be good for the digestion.”

“I’m boasting of my investigative skills, and I would prefer to do it without interruption. Where was I?”

“Are you implying that shreds of my reputation remain intact? Clearly I have been doing something wrong. Or not something wrong, as the case may be."

We must away at once to the nearest brothel. I seek scandal and low companionship.”

"She is my priority!"

"I've never swum naked in the Thames before, but I know I wouldn't like it."

“If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?”

“Sometimes, when I have to do something I don't want to do, I pretend I'm a character from a book. It's easier to know what they would do.”

“Excellent. I've been told I have a lovely, melodic reading voice."

"You do believe everything I say, though, don't you? Do I seem unusually trustworthy to you, or are you just a naive sort?”

"No, here you'll find all sorts of advice about how to chop off someone else's head if you need to; much more useful.”

“It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them.”

“having your annual ‘everyone thinks [your muse’s name] is a lunatic’ meeting, are you? “

“Sometimes,they're even supposed to blow up.”

“What he needs now is to love and have that love returned.”

“Trains are great dirty smoky things, you won't like it."

marry me and stay with me and never leave me, for I cannot bear another day of my life to go by that does not have you in it.”

You are not the last dream of my soul.You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth.”

Was there ever a more beautiful sound than your name? To speak it aloud makes my heart ring like a bell. Strange to imagine that, isn’t it – a heart ringing – but when you touch me that is what it is like: as if my heart is ringing in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins and splinters my bones with joy.”

“Dear God, I thought she was marrying your brother. I take it all back.”

“Do you even care where I’m going? What if I were going to hell?”

'Was that before or after he tried to eat you?'”

“I hurt everyone but you. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Probably all poisoned by parsnips,”

“You made me want more than that. You showed me I was only ever cursed because I had chosen to believe myself so. You told me there was possibility, meaning. And now you would turn your back on what you created.”

"Nice place to live, isn't it? Let's hope they left something behind other than filth. Forwarding addresses, a few severed limbs, a prostitute or two ..."

The touch was like white fire through his veins. He could not feel her skin only the cloth of her gloves, and yet it did not matter. You kindled me, heap of ashes that I am, into fire. He had wondered once why love was always phrased in terms of burning. The conflagration in his own veins, now, gave the answer.”

“Most people are lucky to have even one great love in their life. You have found two.”

Wherever we are, we are as one”

“What are you doing following me around the back streets of London, you little idiot?”

“I suppose it would depend on whether they cut me a part of the profit.”

“What I do know is that if we are born again, I will meet you in another life, and if there is a river, you will wait on the shores for me to come to you, so that we can cross together.”

“I had such plans for the evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower-selling child who asked me for two-pence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me.”

“What’s to miss? Sheep and singing,” he said. “And the ridiculous language. Fe hoffwn i fod mor feddw, fyddai ddim yn cofio fy enw.”

“It means ‘I wish to get so drunk I no longer remember my own name,’ Quite useful.”

he loved like few ever could love, with all and everything. I see you are like that too; it burns more brightly in you than the fire of Heaven”

“Dw i'n dy garu di am byth,” [I love you. Always.]

“Your honorable father has been impugned. Attack, attack!”

“Meet me in the courtyard in half an hour, then,

“I’ll wake Cyril. And be prepared to swoon at my finery.”

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nightferns · 4 years ago

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The Third Variant to the SootCraft Fundy and Wilbur family drama that Maybe Accidentally Started it

So yesterday me and @bigbraveboop came to the conclusion that C!fundy had an arc in early early L'manburg that we were kinda unaware of. And it cracks the case of... how the family drama started. And also is why is this exists

C!Tommy was the catalyst of the c!Fundy | c!Wilbur family drama in S1 and i promise i have proof

all /rp

So what does Fundy repeatedly say is his biggest gripe with Wilbur currently and multiple times after his death? Well:

“You were there for me for a very very long time and then when i needed you the most, you skedaddled fuck the out of my life and died. Because of what? L’manberg’s causes, huh? You thought that was- You thought that was justice? You thought that was good for me? You left me, man.’

“The dad that- my dad that exploded himself for the sake of a country, just for that country to be demolished in future hands?-"

“He put me to priority number 2, man. He put me in the second place.”

So its about L’manburg being more important than him to Wilbur.

Now lets dig deep, where did that insecurity start? Why did Fundy arrive at this conclusion? Why did he feel like this in the first place about his position in L’manburg and his Father?

We kinda assume it was always there or was because of Wilbur actually prioritizing L’manburg over his son/being negectfull. But no! Fundy was very confident in his realtionship with Wilbur and his position in L’manburg at the Start and we see tha change so!

I want to argue that this insecurity... didn't come from Wilbur or any of his actions or lack thereof. Not directly.

“Wilbur? I dunno, Wilbur’s a man of chaos, alright- due to the lore of the server, Wilbur may or may not have been the father of our nation, but- that doesn’t mean he’s for everything I do. That doesn’t mean he stands behind me, alright? Not necessarily...not necessarily.”

This is the first instance of Fundy doubting his connection to Wilbur helping things, i'd argue it still was a part of a lighhearted bit that isn’t to be taken too seriously in the context of the larger story but i realized something that made me change my mind, i mean it is still a lighthearted bit but it connects to a certain quote from uncle Innit:

“What would father think?”

And then that got me thinking and:

Part 1 aka Early L'manburg Fundy had different feelings towards Wilbur than Civil War Fundy

So how did Fundy act towars Wilbur early on?

Fundy: "Don't speak to me ma- hey that's fucked up don't talk about that. That's-"

Tommy: "Listen Th- you gotta kn- you gotta know you don't speak to the boss's son like that. Nevermind about- about the boss's wife to the boss's son in front of the boss's right hand man! You really gotta- You really gotta read the room Thunder."

Fundy: "Yea you don't. You don't."

JM: "fine ok let him do what he wants to do, i just don't wanna hear about it [..]"

Tommy: "Listen to me Fundy- Listen to me Fundy- he didn't mean that- he's just a bold man- he had- he had a little-"

Fundy [turning to JM]: "I will tell on you."

Tommy: " NO no no no Fundy- Fundy He had a little flirt with Dream- he had a little flirt with dream, he's- he's a- he's really new, he's learing his boundaries, he's over stepped them, alright, listen, but you don't have to tell Will, you don't have to tell no-one. "

[To JM] "Thunder you need to to calm your fucking- holy shit."

"-Please, please give him a rest."

JM: "no i- im sorry, im sorry, i'm sorry Fundy"

Fundy: 'I don't want this behavior again, alright."

JM: "no i wont- i wont-"

Fundy: 'Don't talk to my Dad OR my salmon Mother like that ever again, i will tell on you, keep it in mind. I have privilege to speak up against-"

JM: "i understand."

I will come back to the i have a privilege line later but first, from this we see Fundy being confident that Wilbur would take his side because he is his son. He is the “i will tell my parents about this” kid, alongside that he doesn’t feel like he has no imput in decisions, he doesnt feel insecure here he is in the position of power.

So again when did it appear?

Well,

Fundy: “I may or may not have scammed a bunch of people, including all of L’manburg people, um…”

Tommy: “You scammed L’manburg members?!”

Fundy: “But here’s the thing – I’m willing to pay you a part of the profit if you help me out here!”

Tommy: “Fundy…okay, can I tell you what’s happened from my point of view? The son of the President has gone around scamming the other presidential members, and as the Vice President whilst the President’s not on, this is my duty to make sure that this doesn’t pull apart L’manburg. And what you’re saying – what you’ve essentially just said is, ‘hey, can I bribe you?’“

Fundy: “…Can I?”

Tommy: “Jesus Christ…No, okay, we need to settle this now, ‘cause I mean if this happens on my turf, I’m gonna fucking take the blame from this from Wilbur, alright…so listen, Fundy, under no circumstances can you bribe anyone!”

Fundy: “I got two Netherite scraps?”

Tommy: “Okay, okay – explain to me what’s happened, please.”

[Fundy explains the conflict]

Tommy: “What would father think?”

Fundy: “Well, he always – he always sides…by me…obviously.”

Tommy: “Would he though? I mean, you’ve gone against the other members of the nation he fought to build.”

Fundy: “Well only because my loot has been stolen! Alright?”

Tommy: “This sounds petty, Fundy.”

Fundy: “Okay, okay, I can word this differently in my favor.”

Tommy: “No, okay, no – you’re not meant to say that out loud! Okay, I’m gonna ask Tubbo what’s happened, and then from there on we’ll – but please do not do any – we can’t have L’manburg falling out over this, alright?”

So here we see Fundy the president’s son being put in comparison to L’manburg the nation the president built for what Wilbur would prioritize for the first time, and Tommy sows the seeds that maybe L’manburg matters more to Wilbur than him, that Wilbur would choose the nation. this is also first time Fundy has been sort of excluded from the Whole of L’manburg.

and we see Tommy’s words affect Fundy,

Fundy: “We gotta list everyone who’s against me:”

“I killed Tubbo twice, I stole his bow. Tubbo’s probably against me.”

“Tommy has always been against me from the start.”

“Sapnap is against me because I killed his animals and stole them.”

“Punz is against me ‘cause I stole his bees.”

“Eret is against me ‘cause I went after Karl.”

“Karl’s against me ‘cause -- I just realized I’ve made a lot of enemies...I just realized I don’t have many -- I don’t have many allies on the server. There’s not many allies.”

“Who’s neutral? Niki! Niki is with me! Niki is friendly.”

“Wilbur? I dunno, Wilbur’s a man of chaos, alright...due to the lore of the server, Wilbur may or may not have been the father of our nation, but...that doesn’t mean he’s for everything I do. That doesn’t mean he stands behind me, alright? Not necessarily...not necessarily.”

“Quackity? Quackity’s definitely not -- no, listen, Quackity’s definitely not for me, okay. I called him a whore. There’s definitely -- there’s definitely many things Quackity has against me.”

so here is my argument... Fundy’s insecurity started with Tommy.

Part 2 Development Of Those Feelings (Uncle Tommy you’re not Helping)

Fundy, growing disillusioned with Wilbur and L’manburg, lead to this one coversation between Fundy and Wilbur,

Wilbur: Well the uh- the ballot entries have closed now.

Fundy: Who's in it?

Wilbur: Well it originally was just gonna be me and Tommy, me and Tommy tired to do it so- tried to do it so we will be the only ones running, then suddenly out of nowhere Quackity joins and enters himself on the ballot-

Fundy: Ok.

Wilbur: -so it's me and Tommy against Quackity and someone else.

Fundy: Who's someone else?

Wilbur: We don't know yet, he hasn't announced,

Fundy: Wait then- oh, so it's just a random… sneaky person who put himself in the ballot not announced who he is.

Wilbur: yeah, yeah. I mean if you wanna try and convince Quackity that you wanna run against your father.

Fundy: Yeah ok.

Wilbur: Wait, you- you wouldn't though.

Fundy: What if i win? What are- what are you gonna do?

Wilbur: Well then you'd be Vice President.

Fundy: but-What if i win?

Wilbur: Why do you want power in L'manburg so much?

Fundy: Why do you want power?

Wilbur: Because- i led the revolution, i'm your… i'm your president.

Fundy: That's history.

Wilbur: Wh- d- Do you not think i- i'm suitable to run for president?

Fundy: I think you are, but i think I am as well.

Wilbur: I don't know man. I don't- i think- i think you- i think you'd be s- i think you'd be getting into a fight you wouldn't want to start with me. You've only been on the positive side of me, you've only seen my nice side, because y'know? being my son you get- you get special- y'know? You won't ever see me going against you.

Fundy: Wait so you're a biased person going for presidency.

Wilbur: Biased to my son? Yes. But, if you're gonna run against me then i'm changing, i'll- i'll go guns blazing.

Fundy: I'll have a word with Quackity.

Wilbur: Fundy i… i've got- i've got- i've got a bad feeling about this. I think you're just gonna… you're just gonna get hurt.

Fundy: That will happen-

Wilbur: Fundy yeah- Yeah someone in my chat just pointed out, Fundy you started the civil war.

Niki: I mean technically Sapnap started the civil war.

Fundy: I mean- i mean technically- Yeah y' know, technically- and i'm gonna win it! It's fine! I mean what does he have on me, really?

Wilbur: I thought it was you fighting Tubbo?

Fundy: what?

Wilbur: I thought civil war was you and Tubbo?

Fundy: No, Tubbo's just a prick.

Wilbur: Sapnap's not even- not even part of L’manburg how is it a civil war?

Fundy: I don't know you brought it up!

Wilbur: Tommy told me- Tommy told me it was Tubbo and Fundy.

Fundy: Yeah no Tommy is a little bit delusional.

Wilbur: I think i've spoiled you.

Fundy: How?

Wilbur: I think you need to learn some manners.

Fundy: I dunno- power seems nice.

Wilbur: Fine, you can run against me, it won't end well for you but you can give it a go.

Fundy: Like i said i'll- i'll have a word with Quackity i'll think of my actions, see what will happen, i'm not saying necessarily that i'll go against you, then again i'm not standing beside you because you may or may not be the father of L'manburg

Wilbur: And you! The father of you!

Fundy: That's irrelevant. To-

Wilbur: No it's not irrelevant! It's very relevant to this!

Fundy: I don't- i don't think that's relevant to presidency

I’ll talk over Wilburs pov here in a little bit but focusing on Fundy,

He wants to run, other than everything we established before here Fundy wants to run to prove himself to himself, and we see the other part of this conflict more internally is,

(“[..] may or may not be the father of L'manburg- “ , “ That's irrelevant.” )

Well, here is the insecurity about Wilbur choosing L’manburg (here his position as president) over Fundy, the being second place to L’manburg part matters here becasue i think this is where Wilbur and Fundy fundamentally clash, so Fundy doesn’t want for it to matter to Wilbur, he doesn’t want for his position as son to have any influence over Wilbur here beacuse of this fear that that’s why he may be in the second place.

now let’s move on to,

Uncle Tommy ‘helps’

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

Tommy: “I just, I – yeah. You’re stinky, you’re shitty, the fur that’s sewn onto your skin, I look at it and I go (retching sounds) And whilst you’re a lovely guy, you’re actually not, you’re really…and all the viewers are like ‘oh no!’ But they can’t smell you. I can! Holy shit, you know? I mean you know, Sapnap…”

Fundy: “I showered two hours before the stream…”

Tommy: “I know, and that’s what makes it so remarkable, how you smell that terrible.”

Fundy: “I used coconut oil…it smells good…”

…

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

Fundy: “Being neutral is – is asshole?”

Tommy: “Yes. Come with me, Sapnap. Yeah, I’ve denounced you – well no no no, you were challenging him. You were challenging him.”

Fundy: “Denounced to what?”

Tommy: “I just – it’s just a formal way of saying you suck.”

(Tommy and Sapnap leave)

Fundy: “…They are mean…They are mean! Why are they so mean? That is so mean…”

Fundy: “Listen, it is one thing making fun of a person’s appearance…it is one thing making fun of a person’s blindness, but hey – don’t fucking make fun of my coconut oil! Listen dude…that shit smells tasty! That smells good! Man…that’s…god…coconut oil, man…dude.“

…

Fundy: “TNT their houses? That will just prove their point, chat. That will just prove their point. That will just prove their point…they’re just mean. They’re so mean. But it is okay, chat. It is okay. The reason why it’s okay…that’s actually true. Why is he talking to the enemy? Wait…wait a minute. Wait a minute! So let me get the story straight real quick.”

“Chat…just hold up a second here! Hold on a second! So Tommy is demoting me, right? And he’s saying you’re only in L’manburg because of Wil. So Tommy says…in theory, he would kick me out if he had the chance. But considering that, while he’s together with Sapnap…it leads me to believe…Tommy wants to destroy L’manburg!”

“Why would he do that? Why would he team up with Sapnap? He had no correlation with this conversation at all. What was the reason for that?”

“…Do we have another traitor in our midst?”

…

Fundy: “Listen, Tommy, here’s a really interesting theory, alright…here’s an interesting theory, Tommy. I got a little theory on my mind! Listen, boy, we’re part of L’manburg, you and me. Wil as well, Tubbo, all of us, alright? And we’re supposed to be a union! Now here’s the thing! Here’s the thing. If you said, due to Wilbur I’m still basically part of L’manburg – in other terms saying that if it was on your hands you would get me out of there, right, why would you excessively bring Sapnap, out of all people, for that conversation alone?”

Tommy: “Shall I explain to you? It’s because, Fundy, we fucking need votes, Fundy. We need votes! This Quack City guy, son of BadBoyHalo? He’s just – he’s just, like, oh my god. We needed votes. And listen, Fundy–”

Fundy: “You basically just lost my vote, and I feel like that’s your purpose!”

Tommy: “You’re in L’manburg! You vote for us already – you vote for your own father, don’t be an idiot!”

Fundy: “I feel like you’re trying to bring us apart, Tommy. I feel like your goals are not supportive towards L’manburg at the moment…”

Tommy: “From my perspective, Sapnap hates you, Fundy. Sapnap hates you. And if I go listen, if I had to tier list all of the members of L’manburg, Fundy would be in D tier. He needs to hear that.”

Fundy: “…Tommy, are you Eret?”

Post the court debate Fundy was more decided on running on his own,

“Honestly, I feel like everything just needs to change. Honestly, I feel like neither of the parties have done enough right to deserve leadership, to deserve presidency in the first place. I feel like a lot of shit needs to change.”

Fundy didnt want to endorse any of the parties, SWAG2020 was endorsed by Dream, and he belived POG2020 to be corrupt because of the bribing Karl situation, so he was more keen on running on his own, and then came the public denouncing situaion.

Obviously Fundy was hurt by this, especially considering Sapnap was his enemy, and Tommy’s words didnt do Fundy’s and Wilburs already shaky relationship many favours, but his behaviour both pushed Fundy futher away from the POG party, and started Fundy’s ‘traitor Tommy’ theory that he shared with Niki after which the Coconut2020 party was formed.

Part 3 Wilbur is a oblivious dumbass but it makes sense now.

now lets look at Wilburs pov of things, which means we are coming back to the privilege line,

-----

JM: "no i- im sorry, im sorry, i'm sorry Fundy"

Fundy: 'I don't want this behavior again, alright."

JM: "no i wont- i wont-"

Fundy: 'Don't talk to my Dad OR my salmon Mother like that ever again, i will tell on you, keep it in mind. I have privilege to speak up against-"

JM: "i understand."

So coming back to this quote, i belive Wilbur didnt realize Fundy had these doubts about thier relationship, because he was used to Fundy sharing his problems with him, and he was left kinda drifting in an ‘why is my son suddenly against me now??’

Wilbur didnt realize Fundy’s feelings about him had changed, as in Fundy no longer WOULD come to him if he had any probems, because Fundy used to come to him with problems, ("I will tell on you.") But Tommy’s first comment knocked him down and the debate and the Sapnap-Tommy situation had as well and the denouncement, (which Wilbur also knew shit about) because he was already insecure about his place in L’manburg and Wilbur. AND he wouldn't come to Wilbur like he used to because Wilbur was the point of his insecurity even if he wasnt the couse of it.

So we see Wilbur kinda be sad and confused and misstepping becasue of that,

Fundy: Wait so you're a biased person going for presidency.

Wilbur: Biased to my son? Yes. But, if you're gonna run against me then i'm changing, i'll- i'll go guns blazing.

Fundy: I'll have a word with Quackity.

Wilbur: Fundy i… i've got- i've got- i've got a bad feeling about this. I think you're just gonna… you're just gonna get hurt.

------

Wilbur: Tommy told me- Tommy told me it was Tubbo and Fundy.

Fundy: Yeah no Tommy is a little bit delusional.

Wilbur: I think i've spoiled you.

Fundy: How?

Wilbur: I think you need to learn some manners.

Fundy: I dunno- power seems nice.

Wilbur: Fine, you can run against me, it won't end well for you but you can give it a go.

-----

Wilbur: Wait, look who’s coming, look who’s coming.

Tommy: Uh oh!

Wilbur: My son. My boy.

Tommy: Your ex-son.

Wilbur: Yeah. Well, I mean, he’s still my son in blood, but, he’s just…

Tommy: You should put him up.

Wilbur: What d’you mean, put him up? What, for adoption?

Tubbo: For adoption.

Tommy: Yeah. You should see if Big Q will adopt him.

[They discuss Fundy’s Twitch Prime cape. He runs up on stage, to the microphone, and starts punching the air. He’s not in the same vc as them.]

Wilbur: What’s he doing, what’s he doing- what is this? What is this bit? What is he doing?

Tommy: What the fuck are you- no.

Wilbur: He’s just not- he’s not- he’s really upsetting me.

Tommy: Just- just- he’s not President is he? He’s got no manners, he has no manners. No etiquette.

Wilbur: Look, he’s supposed to be my son.

[Wilbur types in chat: “fundy talk to me” and Fundy immediately leaves the game.]

Tubbo: He is trying.

Tommy: Tubbo, you’re gonna get murdered, my friend.

Wilbutr: He said, he said, “I am here for the Presidencialcy-” He just left.

Tommy: And then he- [sighs] I’m so sorry you have to deal with him.

W: I don’t- I- It’s really sad, like I… Honestly, I- when he turned around to me and he said he wasn’t gonna vote for me, and then he decided he was gonna vote for the opposition, and then he decided he was gonna run against me, that was- one of those was the straw that broke my back. I’m not sure which one- I’m still contemplating which one was the- are you listening?

[Tommy has jumped off the podium to join Tubbo in the audience.]

Tpmmy: Yeah, I’m going down to Tubbo, I just- I’m just letting you vent, Wilbur, I want you to have time to vent.

Wilbur: Yeah I just- I miss me son! I miss me son! I miss when he was my boy! Do you remember when he was my boy?

Tommy: Yeah, I’m not really good at handling… People who are emotional.

Wilbur also didn’t know anything about the denouncement situation,

Sapnap: “Will you continue to have your son banished from L’Manberg if I vote for you?”

Wilbur: “My son. My- My son. Look, we’re talking about politics here, I don’t want to talk about my family, if that’s alright. … I would like to say, thank you, Sapnap, for the question, I very much appreciate it, but I’m not gonna be fielding responses about my family situation, thank you.” (Alivebur)

*Wilbur proceeds to step off the podium and cry*

Wilbur: “Fundy...!”

Besides that fundamenatally Fundys and Wilburs views about the presidency oppose eachother,

“Tommy, I’m- I’m- I’m- I don’t know what to do, Tommy, I’ve never not been President.”

Fundy sees Wilbur and L'manburg as two separate things that he has to unfiairly contest with and for

1. for Wilbur because of his fears, for a place among L’manburg members

2. Because He wants to prove himself to himself. he needs to know what Tommy said, isn’t true/he can thrive regardless without his fathers support he can still be a great member of L’manburg and even a president

Wilbur sees himself as inherently connected trough L’manburg with everyone to the point that he thinks that without his position he cant do anything for his loved ones/ he wont be usefull. he thinks of l’manburg as something he does FOR all of them including Fundy.

“My son… My son is tearing down the walls, in front of me! My son is tearing down the walls in front of me! The walls I built to keep him safe! I promised him this world, Tommy, I promised him this world.”

----

“Fundy was the closest thing I had to something I cared about in L’Manberg, when it all began. You know, when it started, the closest thing to anything I cared about was Fundy. Fundy was my, he was my, he was my boy! My rock!”

----

Ranboo: "I don't know if they actually needed me, but I was there.(about his work in the NLM cabinet)"

Wilbur:"I know that feel."

This why Fundy and Wilbur clash fundamentally here,

Wilbur: And you! The father of you!

Fundy: That's irrelevant. To-

Wilbur: No it's not irrelevant! It's very relevant to this!

Fundy: I don't- i don't think that's relevant to presidency

Part 4 Tommy WHY? (he is propably protective and and a tiny bit jealous )

----

Tommy: “Hey, you know about Fundy’s little rebellious stage he’s going through?”

----

Fundy: “You basically just lost my vote, and I feel like that’s your purpose!”

Tommy: “You’re in L’manburg! You vote for us already – you vote for your own father, don’t be an idiot!”

Fundy: “I feel like you’re trying to bring us apart, Tommy. I feel like your goals are not supportive towards L’manburg at the moment…”

----

Wilbur: Wait, look who’s coming, look who’s coming.

Tommy: Uh oh!

Wilbur: My son. My boy.

Tommy: Your ex-son.

Wilbur: Yeah. Well, I mean, he’s still my son in blood, but, he’s just…

Tommy: You should put him up.

Wilbur: What d’you mean, put him up? What, for adoption?

Tubbo: For adoption

---

Wilbur: He said, he said, “I am here for the Presidencialcy-” He just left.

Tommy: And then he- [sighs] I’m so sorry you have to deal with him.

[Tommy has jumped off the podium to join Tubbo in the audience.]

Tommy: Yeah, I’m going down to Tubbo, I just- I’m just letting you vent, Wilbur, I want you to have time to vent.

Wilbur: Yeah I just- I miss me son! I miss me son! I miss when he was my boy! Do you remember when he was my boy?

Tommy: Yeah, I’m not really good at handling… People who are emotional.

Besides Tommy genuinely wanting to get more votes during the dennoucemnt situation, his seconddary motive was well, he was protective over Wilbur, he noticed that what Fundy did during the debate hurt Wilbur, and kept acting bitter towards him from then on. ( “ I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night.” / And then he- [sighs] I’m so sorry you have to deal with him.” )

the he a was tiny bit jealous point IS more up in the air but we can compare this to how Tommy acted towards Ranboo just after leaving prison, when he learned of the c!beeduo marriage.

Quotes from @/kateis-cakeis, @/findingjoynweirdstuff, @/ace-enderchest and my own transcripts, thank you guys!

#dream smp #dsmp #wilbur soot #fundy #tommyinnit #night's talk tag #dsmp analysis #night's meta tag

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daughterofhighever-blog · 2 years ago

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Hey there, I was hoping to ask if you could stop tagging your replies (especially the spicy ones) for "dragon age RP" cause it's flooding the tag and burying promos, RP search ads, and other content. Also, when it comes to the nsfw replies, your mutuals have already consented to see it on their dash/potentially reading it but not everyone else has, and there could be minors browsing the tag. Thanks and sorry to bother you!

I really struggled today with whether or not to answer this anon. I hate causing drama, but there are some things I felt strongly I needed to say. Below the cut, for those who wish to avoid. I will not be making a habit of these kinds of posts.

-------

'Ho boy... we're doing this. Alright - to begin with, this is a discussion I would have rather had in private over DMs. I'm not an unreasonable person, and I'm not going to bite someone's head off for having a concern they want to address with me in a respectful manner.

In the interests of maintaining good relations within the DA RPC, I went ahead and deleted most of the "dragon age rp" and "darp" tags off my RP replies. I say most, because I don't have a promo post I use to advertise - I promo myself by tagging my writing/replies; something I have as much a right to do as anyone. That being said, I can see how doing so on every reply was a lot - and for that, I apologize.

As for the tagging of replies that have 'spicy' content - I tag ALL such posts with 'tw nsfw' and 'tw smut', as well as place a "read more" cut above the actual spicy parts. In the future I will be adding the break above the entirety of such posts. So, again, in the interests of keeping things pleasant in the community, I removed the "dragon age rp" and "darp" tag for all my spicy posts. In the future, I would advise you to utilize the blacklist feature for tags related to content you don't want to see, and to not click on the read more breaks on posts tagged for nsfw and smutty content.

This is a fandom with mature, spicy content that is sexual. I'm not, nor am I going to be, the only person who ever tags dragon age content that is spicy in this fashion.

Which leads me into your concerns about Minors inadvertently viewing this content by browsing the Dragon Age RP tag. (Something I can understand... however...)

There shouldn't be minors in the tag to begin with...

Every Dragon Age game has been rated M for 18+ since Origins. And even were that not the case - my aforementioned measures of tagging things as nsfw and smutty, combined with the read more breaks means that any minors who are in the tag would have to deliberately ignore those tags and make a conscious choice to read it.

That's not something any of us can stop - all we can do is put up our warnings, and our DNI requests, and if a minor lies about their age, or ignores those warnings and reads anyway - we've already done our due diligence to prevent it. We can't be held liable at that point.

I'm not trying to be unpleasant, or rude; and I'm not angry. Please, just reach out to me in a way we can converse and discuss future concerns without me having to publish it for everyone else to see.

#dragon age rp #ooc #;;ooc #;;psa #i really wanted to just adjust my tags and let this stay quiet #but it was bugging me too much #to be deleted later

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miengsol · 2 years ago

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4, 6 & 30 !

truthful tuesday except 2day is monday so truthful monday ( ft. truthful tuesday meme w/ @bloodxhound )

4. what’s one thing that always manages to get under your skin?

unfortunately, a lot of things 🥲 but i hate, hate it when you get to plotting with someone they're like, tell you 'i'm good with whatever' or with multimuses 'pick whoever you want'/'i'm good with anyone you pick' especially when they asked to plot with you in the first place :/ like, do you even care? did you even want to plot with me in the first place? because having no preferences in this kind of situation reads as apathy to me and quite frankly, i don't want to write with someone who is apathetic about my characters/our interactions.

6. what’s one thing the rpc has to realize?

which thing do you want me to say first? jk, how about this one:

the fact that people first have to be the roleplay partner they want to have. i've seen so many mutuals ( who strictly former for this very reason ) who complain about not having the dynamics or interest or investment in their muses and like honestly?? from my experience of interacting with these kinds of individuals, they don't make any effort to reach out or do replies or even just show their mutuals that they care about their muses or even the mun ( saying that one is shy/nervous isn't an excuse either bc there are many easy ways to show interest and support of mutuals without actually talking ). it comes off as rather...standoffish if not self-interested in those cases. i know this is a hobby first, but rp does take effort so what one puts into it is most likely what they're going to get out :/

30. what’s the hardest character type to interact with?

i used to be guilty of writing this kind of character, but muses who are so closed off esp. as a result of trauma that it's impossible to get any meaningful interaction with them. they don't have to open up to my muse about their past, but i would want some kind of openness to make it a fruitful interaction for both parties.

of course, it is an understandable coping mechanism in real life, but also rp is interactive....if it feels like the other muse doesn't want anything to do with my muse, then i'm not going to push it any further.

that and muses whose trauma make up the entirety of their character. like their trauma is literally the only thing they ( & the mun ) will talk about ever. tbh i straight up avoid those kinds of characters & muns. i came here for an escape :/

#bloodxhound #with a gentle heart ( answered. )#forgive yourself a little ( ferre answered. )#thankies cyan <3 <3 <3 #u know me well sometimes i want to be salty #but i always feel bad afterwards #so i only do it once like a year XD fsdlskjflkj

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crystalblessed · 2 years ago

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DISCLAIMER: Nothing on this blog is owned by me unless stated otherwise. Credit will be written where it is due.

Fanart Credit:

Dash Icon ✦ ???

Alphinaud Banner ✦ Aduma Aki

G'raha Banner ✦ Shigeaki Yonega

Orion Banner ✦ ???

Theodore Banner ✦ Tsukimi Ayayoru

( FOLLOWING )

Mutuals only & highly selective. I will only interact, make starters and answers asks for mutuals so sorry!

If a blog I follow requires a password, I won’t send in passwords because I know it’s common sense to read rules before and even after following a blog. It’s one of the first things I will check upon going on your blog so don’t worry about me not reading rules.

I am willing to follow any canon muse and OCs from any fandom as long as they pique my interest. I follow based on writing and not graphics. It won’t matter to me if you have amazing graphics or not, as long as your writing is coherent and interesting enough for me (however if you have graphics that are insanely large and clog up the dashboard then I will probably not be following you)

I will not follow anyone that does not have a proper tagging system (all I ask is that you tag your partner's URL during a thread so we can keep track of things!)

I will not follow any RP blogs that has excessive OOC, especially if they tend to reblog things not relevant to their blog. I don’t want my dash to be clogged up so sorry ;w;

I will not tolerate any remarks that shows blatant discrimination and/or hate for any ethnic, gender and sexual/romantic orientation groups. If that is displayed in any way, I will not follow and if I discover along the way that you are toxic, it will be an immediate unfollow.

( INTERACTION )

This blog is mutuals only and semi-selective. If we’re mutuals, feel free to like my starter calls and send me ask memes if you’re interested in interacting! I am totally open to interaction if I do follow you haha.

I am of age but I will only write smut with those who I am comfortable smutting with. I will also not smut if the mun or the muse is a minor. It will fade to black if it ever gets to that point for our muses.

I am willing to RP nearly any genres please warn or discuss with me beforehand if you want to RP something darker! I’m literally up for anything so just let me know in advance

Please do not reblog my roleplays/threads if you’re not involved in the roleplay or a personal blog.

Personals, I will not interact with in any way as they are not actual characters or ocs. I will block on sight if they reblog my threads

Please don’t reblog a meme from me as tumblr notifications are messed up now

If we are threading, no need to match my writing length but don’t respond with a one-liner if I write multiple paragraphs. All in all, no need to match the amount of paragraphs I write. I tend to ramble on so I’m sorry!

( SHIPPING )

Due to Alphinaud being underage, he will not be available for shipping unless he develops a relationship of someone of similar age to him but in most cases, his interactions will be strictly platonic

I am multiship and multiverse. I am willing to ship romantically but I ship based on chemistry so sorry if it doesn’t work out

If I am romantically shipping with a canon character, I will only ship with one duplicate per muse. I’d rather not ship with 3 other versions of the same muse as it begins to feel repetitive and it doesn’t feel as special. However, I am willing to do other forms of shipping (platonic, hateship, etc) and/or ship in different verses with duplicates!

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coffee-or-murder · 3 years ago

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Lately there has been so much Danya rp going on (all in sandbox play that has been so much fun to do. I have a billion screenshots now lol) that I have way too much Danya brainrot. So here is Benji trying to talk Feelings to his niece and failing. (Not pictured at the end, Danya throwing her shoe and him)

“Uncle. I need to get back to work. Can this unnecessary conversation wait until after this case is concluded? Or at least until after our guests have returned home?” Danya sighed as she glanced over the same paragraph in one of the multitude of case files spread across her desk. This was the tenth attempt at reading the same seven lines since Benji had wandered into her home office and started spewing his nonsense. Frankly her patience was beginning to wear thin.

“You know we just want you to be happy Danny. The Family would never keep you from that, even if your happiness would take you away from us,” Benji sighed from his perch on the window seat in front of her. A growl rumbled deep in her chest, and she cleared her throat to dissuade it. Benji watched her, still as he’d ever been, dark eyes soft and unwavering.

“There is nothing there. You know there isn’t. My feelings are not returned and I have made peace with that,” Danya snapped, flicking to the next page of the file and sighing deeply. Her tail lashed at her side, thumping against the side of her chair with every swipe “I would appreciate it if you would leave this foolish thought alone. They are…merely a warm and kind person. The attention they give me is not out of the ordinary for them. You know this as well as I do, and I will not allow myself to be swept up in this fantasy only to ruin one of the few friendships I have.”

“Have you talked to them then? They’ve actually told you, to your face, in plain words that they aren’t a little bit interested?” he asked quietly. His deep voice was even and warm and somehow the most grating thing Danya had heard in her life, and her growl rumbled back to life to settle low in her throat. If it was anyone other than Benji they would have left at the sound. He stayed. As always. Still and patient.

“I have enough evidence without risking an irrevocable change in our dynamic. I will not put it at risk for a relationship that would only put them in danger, especially since they are -for the most part- unaware of the true extent of the risks and the reasons behind it,” she said. Her tail continued to thump against the chair and she flicked it over her lap to hold it down still against her lap under her hand. It continued to twitch under her palm and she pressed down more firmly.

“So if they return your feelings, tell them. Tell them about all of it. Do you really think they’re the type of person who would stop being friends with you over this? That knowing-”

“I said no Uncle. Cease your meddling and leave me to work in peace. Please.”

“When I throw you in a closet and make you use your words you’re going to thank me.”

#dnd story #dnd danya #danya dnd #benji dnd #dnd benji

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theji · 4 years ago

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Things Yizhan Made Me Do

It's BXG Day today! 🐢💛

To commemorate the occasion, I thought of making a list of 13 out-of-character things that I've done since falling into the fandom. (OK I'm a bit late I meant to do this sooner, the day is ending soon in a couple of hours).

1. Start a blog

And a public one, no less. I had a blog when I was in my teens but that was private, like a personal diary. My day job already involves writing so off-work I would usually like to indulge in mindless activities. Now, here I am, maintaining a Yizhan blog. I have not even used Tumblr prior to this but I'm enjoying it now, rambling about our fav boys. Writing is not a chore if it's about them.

2. Join a fandom

I joined a boy band fan club once upon a time, some 15 years ago, but I was never as invested in it as I am now with Yizhan. Back then it was just buying some merch, attending their concert/autograph sessions, listening to their songs. Apart from work, dog mum duties, personal relationships, other hobbies like kombucha brewing, most of my free time is now spent on the fandom. My Netflix account is crying. There is just so much to do and catch up on (I'm not complaining). I also enjoy interacting with and learning from other bloggers here. Antis are no fun and some industry news/developments/hate messages are upsetting but ultimately, you curate your own fandom experience. And I choose positivity and rationality.

3. Indulge in RPS

I don't ever 'ship'. What is 'ship'? 😆 I was always a dutiful audience, just enjoying whatever drama series and moving on after that. I started with CQL like most people and I didn't even notice/like GGDD until much later. Didn't even set out to 'ship' anyone but now I'm a self-professed turtle. SZD is SZD, and anyone can see something special between them if you keep an open mind. I wrote about my SZD reasons here previously. That said, GG & DD are individuals, each with their own successful careers. They come first, the ship comes second. That I'm very clear of.

4. Use Chinese apps

Gosh, my phone and tablet are now full of Chinese apps. I used to have only WeChat cos I needed it for work but now I have Weibo, Oasis, Douyin, WeTV, MangoTV, Youku, etc. Some of them are not even available in the app store so I had to find alternative sources to download them. haha..I even have paid membership for some of these apps. And now, browsing Weibo daily becomes a routine. If you wish, you can just get stuck browsing Weibo for a long long time. It's entertaining.

5. Read fan fic

I only started about 6 months ago but now I'm hooked and fics are largely the only thing I read these days, apart from news. But I only read Yizhan or WangXian fics (p.s. calling for fic recs of other pairings!) I know some might have different feelings about fan fics but to me, I really just see them as fiction, with characters (and sometimes traits) bearing similarities to GGDD. Similarly, I separate the platform from the incident so I have no problems going to A03 despite GG's incident. I just enjoy seeing the characters named XZ/WYB having happy endings in many different timelines and universes. While most of the fics I read are explicit (by design), I don't use them as tools to play out certain fantasies or to think of GGDD in a sexual manner. In fact, I really hate fics that have little substance and just go into the explicit parts without plot development. I like those with interesting premises too, like one I read recently where XZ is a serial killer and WYB is a police officer investigating the case but also in love with him. I do have plans to share my list of fav fan fics some time down the road so keep an eye out for it!

6. Willingly read Chinese

Yes, Chinese may be my mother tongue but I don't use it much in daily living unless I have to. I also find it tedious to read Chinese cos the characters are just so squashed together. If I have a choice, I will always pick English. But now, I read so much Chinese from my daily weibo browsing. I even read fan fics in Chinese! Who am I? On the plus side, I think my Chinese comprehension and translation skills improved. I also picked up some internet lingo used by Chinese netizens, which are pretty interesting like doi, 🐮🍺, 🖍. My all-time fav is yyds.

7. Act like a cougar

In real life, I have always maintained that younger men are childish. At least those I have encountered. But look at me now, fangirling over two younger men (I am closer in age to GG, but still..). I even jokingly call them my 'China Boyfriends'. I look at them very respectfully most of the time.

8. Buy merch

Seriously, once you start, you can't stop. At least that was what happened to me, although I'm still quite selective when it comes to supporting their endorsements. I usually go for consumables like food, cosmetics vs collectibles cos I'm more practical. Also, GG says to support their merch within reasonable means so that's what I'm doing. Just buying things that I'm interested to try and not because it has their faces or names slapped on it. In a way, this suits me cos I like trying new brands and stuff anyway.

9. Keeping a Yizhan archive

Photos, weblinks, videos, songs, fan fics list..my phone is full of these things now. I think my Yizhan photo gallery is only second to the folder with my dogs' pictures. But how can you resist when we are blessed with new pics of them almost every week?

10. Camp for livestreams

I'm lucky I live in the same time zone as the boys so I don't have to wake up in the wee hours of the morning just to watch something. But that's the thing, being in the same time zone sometimes make me feel like I HAVE to watch that thing live because, why not? Why wait? Not shy to admit that I once watched a live programme in the middle of work but I made sure I finished what needed to be done. I think so long as we don't let these livestream schedules run our lives, there's no harm in camping for them.

11. Watch c entertainment

I am one of those who used to pass over Chinese productions, simply because it's a Chinese production. Not in a scoffing manner but I'm just genuinely not interested in them nor the celebs. I was more of a US/UK production kind of person, occasionally Korean/Japanese. Now, I'm learning to enjoy them although I just watch those with GGDD in them. No energy to follow other Chinese celebs anyway. The other programme I'm contemplating watching even if it doesn't have them in it is Who's the Murderer (GG was only in one of the cases) cos I like the premise. On the flip side, now my sis and partner keep making fun of me cos to them, all I do now is "watch China shows". That is so not true. Or is it?

12. Write fan mail

I wrote a letter to GG once. A long-ass letter. I hope he read it. That's all I'm gonna say. 🙈 hahahahaha

13. Desire to visit China

China was never on my list of to-visit places. Just wasn't interested. I have been to Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou a few times in the past for work but even then, I never felt the urge to revisit for leisure. Now, I wanna visit GG and DD's home town, visit Chongqing to see the graffiti wall with Bobii Zanbii on it, eat mala hotpot and try out their sauce recipe, attend BXG events, dine at the CQL restaurant... Watching TTXS also made me realise that there are many beautiful places in China with natural landscapes and all that. I used to be clouded by my disdain for the regime and some behaviour of its citizens but now, I recognise that the country is separate from the regime or a smaller group of poorly behaved citizens. China is a beautiful country and I would love to visit some day. I will fly over immediately on my own if someone gives me tix to ADLAD!!

Well, I hope some of these things resonate with you. Feel free to share the OOC things that Yizhan made you do.

Once again, Happy BXG Day! 🐢💛🐆🐇🐷🌶🦁🍑🐶🍍🛹🎋

#yizhan #bjyx #things yizhan made me do

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beldamwrites · 3 years ago

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hi! i’m beth ( 32, she/her, gmt ) and this blog is literally solely used for me to find writing partners for discord. so please don’t be discouraged by the lack of content here. it all happens on discord, as well as pinterest where i post all my musing/inspo and visuals!

i typically write anything from fandom, ocs, slice of life, fantasy and supernatural, but i am open to most things so just ask. right now i do fxf, nbxf, mxf, nbxm and i will write as any role (but please don’t just assume i’ll play the male, it’s really off putting). i am also open to doing doubles/multiple ships/world building with the same person (this doesn’t mean we have to do all hetero ships to balance out who plays who, we all need fxf ships in our lives!)

under the cut are my rules, please read through them first before interacting with me. thank you!

you must be 21+ since i am 32 i am extremely uncomfortable with roleplaying with anyone under 21. if i cannot find your age easily on your blog then i won’t interact with you, this also goes for if you state your age as 18+ as it still isn’t clear if you’re over 21 or not.

i won’t use or write against fcs that are under 21, deemed seriously problematic, deceased or have asked not to be used. i also won’t use or write against muses that are under 21. i do have some fcs that just make me uncomfortable but i will let you know if you choose one of these fcs and please do the same for me.

with faceclaims, i will only use real person fcs and expect my writing partner to do the same. i wont use/write against fcs that are cartoons, anime, drawings, etc.

i will happily write smut and adapt to your comfort, however smut isn't a necessity if it's something you don't like and i won't do a plot that is solely based around smut.

i won't rp anything that's problematic or gross, i will let you know if something in a plot makes me uncomfortable and please do the same.

i typically write between 300-700 words depending on my muse or the situation that we are writing. i will however happily adapt to your comfort and how you like to write.

i require a healthy amount of angst and fluff in order to keep my muse for a ship. i'm someone who, as much as i love torturing my muses, lives for the cute fluffy moments as well.

don't pressure me for a reply as i won't do it to you. i don't typically do rapid fire and mostly take a few days to reply. however if our replies are short and i have free time, then you might get some replies back a lot quicker than normal. i will let you know if it’s going to take me a week+ to reply. if it becomes a running theme of pressuring me (whether its direct or indirect) then i will leave the server.

i don't have triggers, but please do make me aware of yours beforehand so i know what to avoid.

if we are in the plotting stage and i don't hear back within a month then i will presume the 1x1 is over. if we are writing together and i don't hear back in 2 months then i will presume the 1x1 is over. this is a case by case situation and if i feel like you’ve ghosted i may remove myself from the server sooner. however i do understand real life comes first and as long as we have some brief communication that you are still interested in the 1x1 then take all the time you need to reply! i won’t ever pressure anyone for a reply! also please don’t ever hesitate to get back in touch if we have lost touch, i will always be more than happy to start writing together again.

don't ever hesitate to come talk to me ooc, i'm always up for a good chat and becoming friends. i thrive off sending each other headcanons, inspo, playlists etc. please note though that i am naturally a shy and anxious person who tends to overthink a lot. so if it seems i’m being quiet and not discussing things about our ship then it’s due to social anxiety.

please respect me as i will do the same to you. we’re all adults here and so should be acting as such. if you show any signs of being disrespectful, homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or any type of hate speech i will not hesitate to cut ties immediately.

don’t godmod my muses. you’re more than welcome to put my muses into a situation and i’m okay with suggesting some kind of movements e.g. if my muse walks up to yours, or if my muse holds their hand out to shake yours, etc. But please don't decide their speech, more personal actions or reactions to anything.

i like to think i’m pretty easy to talk to, so if there’s anything you’re not happy about, you wanna change, or if you just don’t wanna write together anymore then please just let me know. i definitely won’t be mad so please just talk to me! i’d rather you be happy and comfortable then keeping it bottled up inside and not enjoying writing with me.

i don’t really have any preset ocs, i typically create my characters specifically for the plot that we’re doing. however i will happily rp against any preset ocs that you might have and i can create characters centred around them, as well as the plot.

#rules have been updated: 23/11/22

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clairesweirdstuff · 3 years ago

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I think something might be wrong with me.

I know I shouldn't advertise this here, but this happened a couple times now and I feel so conflicted and horny at the same time.

So I'm a sub with a hypno kink, I knew this - my partners know it, anyone who has ever read any part of this blog has probably picked that much up.

But honestly, I haven't gotten much person-to-person live hypno time. I'll listen to files or read a text induction - and I love them - but because my partners haven't been into hypnokink, I really haven't gotten much chance to engage with a real live person.

But then I joined a discord server a couple weeks ago and ... fffff... uh.. aa-a-ap-parently I'm a slut?

I don't know what it is, is it the attention? Is it finally indulging my kink? Have all the scripts I've read and the files I've listened to actually affected me?

Well, in any case, here's what happened.

I joined 1 discord server, a guy reached out to me. We chatted about how great it would feel to just let myself be programmed into an obedient toy (yessss). And then he found out I was trans and he wasn't interested. Which sucks, right? Like, this is the internet, what does it even matter? And I was a bit insulted, but I considered myself too good for this guy anyway.

But I still wanted it. I found myself wondering if maybe I could fix him, change his mind about trans women and get more of that sweet kink talk where he'd tell me how he wanted to make me his good girl (Hhhhh, pls?).

I was disgusted with myself! Claire, you don't need this jerk! And I managed to resist reaching back out to him.

And then I joined another discord server. And in this one, someone did a text induction on my and another girl in one of the channels and fffuuuuccckkk it was amazing. It was honestly nothing specifically erotic but I could feel it. My breathing slowed, my mind fuzzed out and I gave him control and it was SO FUCKING HOT. I was weak, I wanted more.

I get a DM from someone on this new server, and we start to talk.

They tell me they prefer cis women (once again, why this matters on the internet I don't understand), but they want to chat and do a trance with me.

Okay Sweet! I push my questions of why things are relevant aside and we start to chat and I go under.

He asks me to turn on my camera.

Now, normally, I wouldn't do this! Like my waking brain is continually telling me how stupid this was, but I did it. I just, I can't really explain it - but I needed to please him and I knew he wanted to see me - so how was I supposed to NOT obey and turn on my camera?

So I did, and he basically has me make some sexy ahegao type faces as my mind is just completely fucked and then he wakes me up and says "Sorry, not my type" and I haven't heard from him since.

So, who cares, right? Yeah, but it felt so good. It took me a week to delete our conversation. I'm so fucking desperate that I was hoping he'd change his mind. Like wtf is wrong with me?

Okay, then another guy messages me. This time is basically all RP. We RP this kind of Kaa junglebook storyline for a few days and it is not what I would've said I would go for normally, but it is SUPER hot. After 3 days of RPing daily, he starts to ask about me. What am I wearing? I tell him. What do I look like? I tell him. He wants a picture. I freeze.

Fuck okay, this has been great up until now, but I gotta tell him. So I tell him I'm trans, he says I'm still his girl. I'm relieved and I send him a picture. He tells me I'm beautiful.

I'm in some kind of a trance at this point and he's asking me for more pictures and less clothes and for basically the first time in my life I'm taking pictures of myself practically naked and he's telling me that I'm such a good girl for him (<shudder> fffuck, why does it feel so good.)

He says he has to go - his wife is back home. Eventually my senses come back to me and I realize what I did and I delete all the pictures from the chat and my phone. I apologize to him, and he hasn't spoken to me since (4 days now).

So I mean, the data is there. Apparently I'm a hypnosis addict who will do anything while hypnotized.

God I want more. It's been 4 days and I just edged while browsing tumblr for the last hour and my brain feels like it's about a half-step away from dropping for a stranger right now.

I.. uh... I'm gonna go outside or something. Shovel snow... try not to be horny slut for an hour. Wish me luck.

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gra-sonas · 4 years ago

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I love you but please PLEASE stop shipping Tyler and Michael irl, whenever you say something people take it as godspeak and we all know Michael is straight and, last we knew Tyler was in a committed relationship. You stopped identifying as bisexual but you shouldn't throw us all under the bus

Okay, my first reaction upon reading your ask was IGNORE IT, my second was MOCK IT (at least the part about Vlamburn). But it's been a couple of hours since you sent it, and I'm going to answer in earnest bc it really irks and upsets me.

First of all: I couldn't possibly ship them any harder than they ship themselves. If asked, I'm sure they'd very much agree with me describing what they are doing as flirting (or something similar). And there's nothing wrong with that? It's all harmless fun and feeds into our excitement for Malex. Big fucking deal.

However, I'm under no illusion that they could possibly be a couple irl. Apart from identifying as straight, Vlamis is clearly very happy in his relationship with Aurora (and vice versa), and I have the utmost respect for that (they are cute af together, and I wish them nothing but eternal happiness, if anything, I'm shipping their love!).

Tyler's personal life/relationship status on the other hand is exactly that: personal. I appreciate everything he's sharing, but I'm not going to speculate about intimate details (I get tons of asks about that regularly, and they all remain unanswered bc it's none of my fucking business 🤷‍♀️).

So, am I going to stop doing what I do regarding Vlamburn on social media or the way I post about them? Hell no, why would I? It's all harmless fun and very much on par with what they are doing. There's nothing "inappropriate" or "disrespecting" about my posts, and honestly, if there are people who can't differentiate between the harmless flirty fun they are providing, and assuming they are fucking irl, that's on them, not me.

I'm not responsible for how people read their relationship - which imo is that of two colleagues (who also happen to be good friends) who are clearly very fond of each other, adore each other, and have zero issues with intimacy, innuendo, or riling each other up in the comment sections. Do I believe they are a couple or fuck irl? No, I don't. Do I imply any of that in my posts? Also no.

They are (willingly and fully aware) playing into a fantasy, where sometimes the lines between the fictional couple they play on screen, and their rl friendship can get a bit blurry, but never in a way that would make me think there's actually more.

If anyone else does that, that's their thing (and I'm not shaming here, just keep it away from the actors), but I'm certainly not running an RPF blog here, where I promote the illusion that they are secretly a couple.

whenever you say something people take it as godspeak

Uhm... WHAT??? I'm fairly certain that's not the case. I have zero authority (least of all any kind of godly authority) over anyone. We're all just fans here. I happen to have an active blog, yes, but I'm only stating my personal opinion here, and I'm trying to provide information and facts, and that's it.

I'm not here telling anyone what to ship, how to ship it, or what not to ship. And really, for all I care, as long as no harm is done to any real persons (especially the actors themselves), if people want to ship Vlamburn "for real", go forth and do whatever floats your boat. RPF is first and foremost a fantasy, a what-if. And lbr, these two make it REALLY easy to imagine things.

I understand that it's not for everyone, and the concept of RPF/RP shipping makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable. And that's perfectly valid. No one has to like it.

But again, unless the actors are being roped into anything, are made feeling uncomfortable, or people do shit like attack Aurora for being with Vlam (to my knowledge none of this has happened, and I hope to god that it never will!), and as long as it's strictly kept in fandom circles, I have no issues with it.

You stopped identifying as bisexual but you shouldn't throw us all under the bus

And this is the part of your ask where I got angry and irritated and then really upset. What the everloving fuck are you talking about???

Last time I checked (THIS VERY SECOND), I'm as bisexual as ever. I've fought fucking hard to claim that label for myself, and just bc I also happen to identify as demi/gray-A, that doesn't make me any less bisexual.

Demi for me is just an additional identifier that describes a little more closely how I feel. I don't identify as asexual tho. I love and cherish the ace community, and I feel very close to them, but I am 100% bisexual, and no one gets to tell me I'm not. Fucking hell. How dare you!

Srsly, I'm so pissed about this. Do you have any idea how hard it is to come to terms with how you feel, how fucking hard it is to find labels that might fit, and then claim any of them for yourself, always doubting, always worrying you're not "bi enough"?

And then some holier-than-thou queer police asshole on the internet comes along and tells you you're not what you know is your truth? Don't ever do that to anyone else, it fucking sucks.

Thanks for making me angry and upset, I really didn't need that today (or any other day).

And really, where and how am I "throwing anyone under the bus"??? The way I identify has nothing to do with this blog, the way I post, and least of all with whether anyone thinks Vlamburn are more than friends/colleagues.

Man, next time you consider sending an ask like this to someone you claim you "love", think again. And then don't type any of this BS into a tiny box and send it to a real person.

Thanks for making an otherwise happy day unnecessarily more shitty.

#nonnie asks #fucking hell i'm so upset wtf

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aks3raao1 · 4 years ago

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You know, there's a thing with characters that foil each other and serve as the "good" and "bad" respectively (Toga/Himiko, Tenko/Izuku, Nagito/Hajime, Ryoko/Hajime, Atsushi/Akutagawa) but that trope felt rather annoying to write, especially in the world I am trying to write about (ALTERNATIVE's world is basically MHA X BSD but like. 1000 times more fucked up and the Specialised are always prejudiced against. A terrible lot).

The title itself, ALTERNATIVE is to symbolise Romila's POV of "infinite choices and paths present for every being" and how she starts off the story with a decisive line of,

"Many people ask me if this could have been avoided. They beg for me to tell them that things could have been better. There are others too, who try to justify that this was the only way for things to have been. If you ask me, both are living in states of denial. One can't accept the stupidity of humanity for disregarding common sense for violence and prejudices. Another can't accept humanity's choice for having better circumstances if the one with the power chose to."

The thing is, the running theme is that the story is a bittersweet one, despite there not being many deaths of the main characters, but there was always a junction where you can see it could have been avoided, that there was an "alternative" for things to have gotten better, especially in the first book.

Another reason for the title is that it's basically an "ALTERNATIVE" to this world of ours, where super powers and stuff like those exist.

The subtitles of both the books (Myriad of Colours, Colour of Death) signifies Romila's power, "Aura Tracker" which lets her view people's aura as colours (Myriad of Colours is to signify the different kinds of people she meets, Colour of Death is about what affects her the most (death) and how she's constantly seeing that colour everywhere, especially now that it's war).

The thing about ALTERNATIVES is that Romila could have chosen to be a doormat (like Koldin tends to be at the beginning (his rp self is like THAT due to circumstances different to ALTERNATIVE's actual storyline. Also because Hack's a nicer person to be around than Romila is) in order to nOt hAvE cOnFliCt™) to not get into conflict and put up a super nice persona for people but she didn't. She decided to focus on hanging onto her reasons for doing what she does and using it to create a caustic personality to shield herself because she knows that she will regret being a doormat (Her Despair takes the form of Koldin Hopkins).

Now Koldin could have certainly put his hatred for society at the forefront and taken a caustic personality but instead chooses to be nice. Because he doesn't want to become as hurtful as the rest, that's how he wants to disentangle himself from society. However he, like Romila (who just took standing up for herself to extremes), takes this to the extremes causing him to gain the personality of a nice boy™.

However this also goes into why they made the choices they did (which is what Romila realises during the Mansion of Death arc), because for Romila, she didn't really have the psychology for actually becoming a doormat (because a) Her mom wouldn't have it b) She hated to be called weak c) She didn't have anyone to fall back to after the inevitable consequences of being a doormat d) She felt that if she were to live with monsters, then it's easier to blend in by being one (this comes useful to her when she infiltrates into the Government) e) She saw doormats getting suicidal which frightened her) or not becoming fully caustic (since her standing up for herself wasn't. Liked. By. Anyone. And seen as aggressive and she basically went, "Well if they see me as bad, I will show them BAD" which led to her breakdown causing the incidents at the Mansion Of Death (especially a twisted hatred against Koldin for extremely understandable reasons).

For Koldin, being meek and peaceful had let him get by in the streets and his skills to difuse fights had come in handy. Later when Dr. Hopkins took him in, he was well. A member of the Radicals who were known to be extremely merciless towards the Specialised (he had defected but Koldin had a REALLY good reason to be wary) so he figured if he stayed nice, he wouldn't be kicked out of the house and Dr. Hopkins being Dr. Hopkins just assumed that it was his normal and that behaviour carried into school. He figured that it was a horrifying thing to be aggressive and then saw how Romila got treated and decided that yep, he was right, that confirmed his world view alright and it was more reason to be super nice. While Romila saw Koldin as a person who everyone took advantage of (a thing she hated. To be exploited just like that) and went, yep that confirmed hers and it was more reason to be super angry.

However the thing is that, Romila was chided for being anything, which caused her to just give up to be peaceful (because what would she do? Anything she tried to do got her scolded) while Koldin (thankfully) found a support system. It really goes to show the difference a good friend can do.....

As it is, when I first began writing this, the most obvious choice presented itself to me. Koldin is the "hope" and Romila is the "despair" (on the protagonist, deutergonist side) but that seemed stupid and boring as it wouldn't make sense. Since I am trying to make a point of showing with how Romila's world view gradually changes from "there are wrong and right choices" to the fact that it doesn't have to be rigid and that *now* she wouldn't be hurt if she used what her vulnerable side wanted (a world free of prejudices and unnecessary cruelty) with the talents she had. That kindness mixed with her usual personality won't literally kill her.

And for Koldin, being a doormat means that he got taken advantage of a lot by different people and since he refused to actually stand up for himself ("Ah...aha......it seems that I can't..." "Can't what?" "Feel angry for myself......it's always anger that comes from the ones I love being hurt" "Then love yourself too, you will feel angry again" ~ Koldin's conversation with his inverted self in the Labyrinth) he got. Taken advantage of. By virtually everyone. However he decided that if being nice would keep him keep his self and his name self then it would be fine. He did not want to be the source of grief (his actual parents tossed him out because of his Specialisation). The Mansion Of Death actually causes him to snap for that reason, because Romila literally puts him in a torture dream "for the greater good" and then proceeds to kill his dear friend. One thing Koldin HATED. Killing friends. (Due to them being run over by a car, which led to his paralysed left arm)

Now on the other side, their respective friends:

Romila:

Luja: Cynical and annoyed by people's stupidity but not to caustic extents and she wants to be a scientist and isn't haunted by the possibility of dying.

Kratanos: Full of anger and hatred against the world but not entirely blinded by it and is focused to using that anger for reformation of the world (she becomes a therapist later, to help people)

They both have her caustic parts but they also let themselves embrace another side which makes them her "balance".

Koldin:

Anand: Believes that there's no requirement for violence unless it's absolutely necessary.

Karishma: Figures it's a better idea to just listen to rules but doesn't hesitate to break them if she sees that they are bs

They both have his peacefulness, but don't hesitate to do what they think they should do, which makes them his "balance".

The point is that, the case of choosing alternatives isn't possible with a tunnel vision. Even so, there are choices that literally can't be made due to the individual and circumstances. Sometimes the choice is to choose more than one choice. Well, that's one dramatic storyline......

It reminds me of DDLC side stories since everyone has a bit of the other person's solutions and more of a opposite personality (don't take this the wrong way, there are many stories like that and it's honestly a favourite to think abt but it's just that DDLC does it well especially since it's only a school environment). Tbh, I like dramatic storylines that rlly dig deep into a character's perspective (reasons why I'm in love with Hack and Axel in particular). My whole thing is that I'd rather read a story with interesting and in depth characters than one where only the plot is good so I say you made the great call of the century with Koldin and Romila's characters.

What you thought before getting into it is rlly how every great character arc starts. You focus on one, somewhat forget the other one until you review every single character for inspiration and then BAM! PARALLELS! It's really admirable how, even in this messed up world of specializations, you didn't purely focus on the plot bc it honestly sounds interesting enough to just stick around for Romila's life and journey. You could have ended it all with just that, but no, you smacked Koldin in there and said "be my interesting on par character that can kick Romila's gut" and IT WORKED SPECTACULARLY!!!

I really love ur writing and hoping to one day read (and maybe print out) every story you've ever written bc GODDAMNIT I NEED THE FEELING OF THOSE WORDS ON WORN PAPER WITH AN ARTISTIC COVER AND AN AMAZINGLY HEAVY WEIGHT

Aka, paperback. Bc that's how I like to roll and that's how good I think it is. 1000% worthy of a bestseller

#writing #mah fwend's story :3 #novel #ALTERNATIVE #Koldin Hopkins #Romila

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rphelperblog · 3 years ago

Text

Clockwork Prince Book Quote Rp Meme

book two in the TID series by Cassandra Clare- feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes- part one

“It was books that made me feel that perhaps I was not completely alone. They could be honest with me, and I with them.”

“Our souls are knit. We are one person,”

“You may choose your friends, but not your unlikely saviors,”

“If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?”

“We live and breathe words.”

“God knows we’re all drawn to what’s beautiful and broken.”

“Would you like a thesaurus? You seem to be running out of words.”

“I can offer you my life, but it is a short life; I can offer you my heart, though I have no idea how many more beats it shall sustain”

“Is it because I’m better-looking than you?”

“You can’t have wasted a life you’ve barely lived.”

“I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you.”

“I am not the one of us who has no heart.”

“I shall charm him with such force that when I am done, he will be left lying limply on the ground, trying to remember his own name.”

“You had to know a person well to make them laugh like that.”

“What he needs now is to love and have that love returned.”

“One finds nobility in the oddest places.”

“The girl behind the scrawled letters. I loved you from the moment I read them. I love you still.”

“When two souls are as one, they stay together on the Wheel. I was born into this world to love you, and I will love you in the next life, and the one after that."

“He’s very broken, like a lovely vase that someone has smashed. Only luck and skill can put it back together the way it was before.”

“Is this a game? We just blurt out whatever word comes next to mind? In that case mine is ‘genuphobia’. It means an unreasonable fear of knees.”

“What’s the word for a perfectly reasonable fear of annoying idiots?”

“They’re really quite good-looking, not hideous at all.”“I spoke of the pitch-black inner depths of their souls.”

“It's always better to live the truth than to live a lie.”

"I've never swum naked in the Thames before, but I know I wouldn't like it."

“It means ‘I wish to get so drunk I no longer remember my own name,’ Quite useful.”

“You serve a greater cause. Your life is not yours to throw away”

“Did you just kiss me?"

“They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite”

"I had come to think i would never love anyone, but I love her.”

"I haven't broken his heart at all.”

“Do you care more about the plan being enacted or about getting credit for it?”

“ he is nothing but goodness. That he struck you last night only shows how capable you are of driving even saints to madness.”

"Being lost, that is. I had always thought one could not truly be lost if one knew one's own heart. But I fear I may be lost without knowing yours.”

“She had loved him for such a long time, she thought. How was it that she did now know him at all?”

“Dear God, woman, are there any questions you don't want to know the answer to?”

I love you.And I don't want to lose you.”

“You cannot buy or drug or dream your way out of pain.”

“In honor of my birthplace, I’ve the dragon of Wales tattooed on my—”

"There is only one girl I care to make swoon,"

You are the first dream, the only dream I ever was unable to stop myself from dreaming. You are the first dream of my soul, and from that dream I hope will come all other dreams, a lifetime’s worth.”

And I mean that literally, of course, but also figuratively.”

"Perhaps we do need a chaperon.”

“You promise me that you love him. Enough to marry him and make him happy.”

"He died screaming."

“I thought... that we could at least talk about books.”

"I must be more amusing than I thought. Which would make me very amusing indeed.”

“Change is not always accomplished peacefully, but that does not make it disadventageous.”

don't tell him what I just told you. Don't tell him that I love you.”

“I love you, and I have loved you, almost since the moment I met you.”

you need not be so careful. I will not break.”

"every moment of every hour of every day that I have been with you since the day I met you. but you know that. You must know. Don't you?”

"Won't you miss it here? This place has been your home."

“Women do not think with logic and discretion but with emotions of the heart”

“When I think of you, and you are not there, I see you in my mind's eye always with a book in your hand.”

"Don't worry about that right now, my love."

“Was this what it meant to love someone? That any burden was a burden shared, that they could give you comfort with a word or a touch?”

“I had come to think I would never love anyone, but I love her.”

“When two people are at one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze.”

“for love is as strong as death.”

“But am I clever and right or clever and wrong?”

“Beauty is harsh.”

"All who love you will die. Their love will be their destruction. It may take moments, it may take years, but any who look upon you with love will die of it, unless you remove yourself from them forever. And I shall begin it with her."

“I don't know how I could sleep at night, not knowing I was surrounded by a thousand other sleeping, dreaming souls.”

“If I was harsh with you, it was because I cannot bear to see you treat yourself as if you are worth nothing. Whatever part you might act to the contrary, I see you as you really are, my blood brother. Not just better than you pretend to be, but better than most people could hope to be.”

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smol-nevi · 4 years ago

Text

I don't generally make this kind of thing a habit, but I think if you happen to be on the Crystal RP Discord, aka @crystal-rp-ffxiv, you should probably be aware of this kind of behavior, so here goes.

If you're on Crystal RP and the admin team decides they don't like you, you're going to be living under a microscope while they wait for you to mess up, if not bait you, probably while making up conspiracies about you as well. As for how I know this, I was a moderator for about a week's duration and saw it first-hand.

Unapologetically lengthy post. Receipts in the link above, long version below the cut.

From the first time I looked in the mod chat I knew something was wrong. I read backwards in the channel, thinking I'd acclimate myself and see what kind of rules precedents had been set and that sort of thing. I mostly just found out that they had it out for a particular member (at the time using the name Jericho) for not much reason. They'd spent a troubling amount of time over the past few months watching him and another member like vultures, believing them to be the same person and waiting for them to make some kind of mistake that would justify banning both of them...despite keeping different schedules, having different personalities and typing habits, and visibly being two different people. The admin team had come to the conclusion that Jericho was a troll who wanted to make them look bad, and anything he said or did was scrutinized to a ridiculous degree for evidence that would corroborate their belief.

Except none of the things they believed at all were true: he'd had a minor argument via DM with the head admin Benjimir Thursby's wife, Tessariel Aerlinn, who had made an overly broad statement about anime and Asian culture. Jericho had told her that overgeneralization about 'Asian culture' is potentially racist, and she became extremely angry, saying that because she's Asian, she can't be racist against Asians. After that, it seemed that Jericho was considered fair game for whatever retaliatory actions the two of them could justify.

Even a cursory glance at actual racism in Asia pokes Tessariel's statement entirely full of holes, and having personally read the conversation I didn't see anything actually inaccurate in his statement even if she believed it didn't apply to her. I asked what he had done that would merit such a response, because it felt very disproportionate to anything I'd ever seen him do publicly, and that was what I was told. The exchange via DMs had been screencapped and kept in a channel for evidence, and while I didn't get a copy of it, I did read it, and I said that I thought it sounded awfully one-sided and punitive and would have been much better as an actual conversation. I also expressed that I was concerned how much of the channel had been solely devoted to what was basically a witch hunt, considering that some of the server members had over the course of the past couple of months commented that the admins' behavior towards Jericho seemed biased.

I basically got a pat on the head and told that my opinion was "valued" but wrong. This would happen a lot over the course of the week.

Shit continued to escalate. Their favorite punching bag, who was acutely aware of the grudge by now and probably trying to be nice and discuss something that he thought they could all talk about, brought up some articles that stated that LOTRO might be having a graphical overhaul. This actually ended in him being put into some kind of time-out mute, because "everyone knows those articles are debunked already" despite them still being hosted on reputable games news sites. Back-channel, the admin consensus was that he was in fact trying to bait Benjimir and Tessariel into somehow looking stupid in public, because [paraphrasing] 'he knows how important LOTRO is to them.'

Benjimir in fact went off publicly about how he knows the dev team and they sent him 'personalized swag' for 'being himself' and that everyone should just listen to him because he's right. Someone else made a reasonable request for sources on statements that Benjimir made about the LOTRO improvements not happening, and they immediately became the team's private #2 punching bag.

The whole time I reiterated that this was really uncomfortable and I had serious concerns about the way they were handling Jericho. And as always I received a pat on the head and was told to not worry about it, there were really good reasons for it, really. He was 'bringing down the quality of discourse' on the server somehow. Benjimir decided that the only way he would unmute Jericho is if Jericho talked directly to him, and that Jericho tried to talk to any of the more level-headed members of the team first was taken as obvious evidence that he wanted to evade rules and create problems. I asked when we planned to unmute him, and Tessariel immediately jumped to the conclusion that he had messaged me, which wasn't incorrect but the way she worded it felt highly accusatory and I was beginning to feel that I was also in trouble somehow for not agreeing with the rest of the team.

Things came to a head quickly when I woke up and looked at the mod chat and they were having an animated conversation that started with Benjimir asking if it was 'bad that he was laughing at Jericho' and most of the rest of the team talking about how he was stupid, uninformed, a troll, etc. for the sin of having some misgivings about cryptocurrency, of all the things. One of the mods self-described their behavior as bullying. I said that this was extremely unprofessional and that I thought they should keep conversation to actual moderation matters, and if they had a personal disagreement with a server member they should handle it in a personal venue, not via official server moderation channels.

I was, for the final time, patted on the head, and told that this was not something they would consider, because the moderation team 'needs to be able to vent for their mental health' (never mind that the job was not stressful except for the rest of the team committing worse behavior than the server members) and that maybe I was in fact too sensitive for the job. Benjimir heavily implied that I had become too close to Jericho and was being manipulated, managed to misgender me somehow despite my having used solely male or neutral pronouns the entire time I'd been on the server, and after relating a story in which a couple of years ago a well-liked moderator left after having the same complaints as I did (which he saw nothing at all troubling about), suggested that I should be demoted to babysitting the lore channel.

So I took some time to collect receipts, which are linked at the top of the post, and told him where to shove it.

Since that time, things have actually somehow gotten worse on Crystal RP. Benjimir posted an entire page screed vaguely talking about "rampant negativity" that stated anyone with questions should DM him.

Upon DMing him with questions, Jericho was banned, the only reason given being that he was a 'poor fit' for the server in some vague way. I was immediately banned afterwards for calling out this decision as being driven by a personal vendetta in the feedback channel and let him know afterwards via DMs in no uncertain terms that I had logged everything I needed and would be building my case (and that he is an asshole). Jericho was reinstated, though I'm not sure what the conditions of his return were as that was after my ban and I didn't ask since I didn't want to stress him out further. Benjimir also reprimanded someone for discussing asexuality, stating in a DM to them that the conversation was somehow ERP related. I called him out on this via DM as well. Tessariel was not much later caught posting my last DMs to Benjimir in an entirely unrelated server, though she didn't include the part after that where I brought up his aphobia (during Pride Month, in a server with a rainbow icon no less). Benjimir for some reason decided to suddenly start following my FC's Tumblr well after our falling-out.

And as of today (6/24), Crystal RP now has seven pages of draconian rules, because it wasn't micromanaged hard enough before or something. Notably, a lot of these rules describe behaviors that they wanted to punish Jericho for but couldn't at the time justify, or that they'd like to punish me for but have nothing they can do to me. Or they exist to justify their own behavior, as now seen in the very beginning of the channel:

"This approach also provides our volunteers with leeway to act in good faith without the burden befitting a professional occupation."

"So we afford them the means to speak openly, vent, lament, candidly and yes, sometimes crassly and raw about everything and one."

Not only did they behave unprofessionally and shit-talk before, they have now encoded in the rules that this is acceptable and even good moderator behavior, because they saw someone else do it so it's fine (a lot of this wording is very similar to what I was told when I protested it). So rather than address anything I ever said past or present, Benjimir is choosing to double down and giving himself and his team explicit permission to be shitty, right in the opening paragraphs where you'd have expected a mission statement or at least some sort of welcome.

Which is about all you need to know about that server and its owners, in my estimation. I'd considered not even posting to Tumblr about it, but given that it's only getting worse, I think it should be generally known that this is how you can expect to potentially be treated.

#FFXIV #FFXIV RP #Crystal Data Center #Crystal RP #Balmung RP #Mateus RP #on one hand it's drama on the other I can and will call a spade a spade or in this case a douchebag a douchebag #this shouldn't be surprising to anyone who knows me even a little

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jebazzled · 4 years ago

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They can’t ALL be serial killers: keeping your villains funky fresh

Ah, villains. Spicy assholes. Tricky buggers.

Villains can be very intimidating to write: writing requires you to put yourself in the shoes of another person, which is one thing to do with a decent person. But when you are putting yourselves in the shoes of a bad one - whether it be someone who is simply not very likeable or someone who functions in an antagonistic capacity to a story or rp universe’s hero - well, it can be uncomfortable.

I didn’t start writing villains until well into my rp career, and I can’t think of a single character I wrote in my undergraduate creative writing degree who was an asshole. I now write a small handful of them - and like most things, I don’t think writing a villain is quite as scary as we sometimes build it up to be in our minds!

That said, writing a villain is an exercise in nuance, and this is something that is often missing from antagonistic characters. In this tutorial, we’ll talk about what makes a villain, and what makes a villain a well-rounded character.

Triggers, mentioned largely in passing as examples: criminal activity, murder, assault, child abuse, car accident, drunk driving, animal abuse

What makes a villain?

Generally, when we talk about villains, it’s in the context of a narrative, some sort of overall plot theme where there is Good and there is Evil. Think: Death Eaters, the Dark Side, the Horde, the Daleks, the Orcs, etc, etc etc. For the purposes of this tutorial, I’m talking about characters who serve in that antagonistic role, but everything can also be applied to characters who are just shitty people without a part to play in any larger scheme.

In a plot context, per Oxford Languages, a villain is “a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.” To be important to the plot, you do have to post, and if that’s something you’re struggling with, you might want to check out my Writer’s Block TED Talk ;)

A villain can have any number of reasons for being Like That: perhaps they were raised with a particular worldview, or were targeted by a negative influence at an impressionable and vulnerable stage, or genuinely believe they are doing the right and good thing. Maybe they’re just an asshole. In-character, your character likely doesn’t identify as a villain (because everyone is the hero of their own story) and in-character, your character might have friends, allies, and others with varying knowledge of your character’s misdeeds.

However, out-of-character, you and other writers should recognize that your character is a shitty person. Writing one-dimensional, universally terrible assholes isn’t much fun, though. Which is where nuance comes in.

Give your character other traits than “evil.”

Unless your character is THE Big Bad - the Voldemort, the Sauron, the Hordak Prime - there is no reason for them to be Ultimate Evil, and writing them as an endless wash of evil will be boring for you to write and boring for other people to read. Your character should be something other than naughty.

Using my own handful of villains/bad guys as examples, since obviously I take my own advice, and with apologies that 99% of my rp writing is in the HP verse:

Claude is a Death Eater as well as second-in-command of the magical mafia. He’s an expert blackmailer, has no qualms with murder, and can get pretty gruesome about it if he’s pressed to make a point. He also doesn’t drink, is a devoted father (has framed finger paintings in his study! drinks the pink lemonade his daughters love in crystal rocks glasses!), uses weird slang (”beat it, bozo!”) and takes the family spaniel on daily walks through Kensington Gardens.

Cleo is a Death Eater and a lifelong bully, prone to theft, physical abuse, and with a knack for the Cruciatus Curse. She’s also deeply insecure, with an unshakeable need to be seen as useful; she’s competitive, and she’s horny enough to drop her purist pretense if a Muggle girl is what’s easiest to get her rocks off.

Sadie is a squib spying on Order-organized safehouses for the Death Eaters. She’s also intensely curious and ambitious, determined and self-directed, and if she doesn’t understand emotions, it certainly doesn’t stop her from understanding how to manipulate them to maintain the illusion that she is not a threat.

All three of these character concepts are more compelling than:

Veronica is rude, hates people, is outwardly mean to everyone she meets, uses cultural slurs on the regular.

We get it! Veronica is a shitty person! What else is she? In real life, shitty people typically do find camaraderie somewhere, somehow. Maybe Richie is a total asshole but has made a lot of money from his hedge fund, and he is generous enough with his yacht, ski condo, and jet that he has an entourage he thinks are genuinely his friends. Maybe Kaiytlynn is selfish and entitled, but her access to the entire royal family of Spain keeps her gainfully employed, and she’s genuinely good with her bedazzled bra business. Maybe Claudia is a giant racist, and she’s also YouTube’s most popular craft video creator.

In real life, maybe there are some shitty people who exhibit fully antisocial behaviors and are rewarded for it. But this is fiction writing, and moreover, it is collaborative fiction writing, and Veronica is not a character who is fun or enjoyable to plot with. Antagonistic plots can have more trouble finding their footing than strictly romantic ones - but they can be fun and rewarding, provided that the antagonist is a compelling one.

Let your character be something other than “evil.”

Give your character a cover.

More specifically than a trait other than “evil,” give your character a cover. By this I mean: give your character an angle that obscures their true colors, something that lures people - good people and bad people - into a sense of safety.

Give your character something that keeps other characters from taking one quick look at yours and immediately clocking them as a bad guy.

In real life, it often takes time to realize toxic people are toxic. In real life, people enjoy circumstances that make people less likely to view them as toxic - just look at the number of people who think Jeff Bezos’s obscene wealth is a marker of his merit as a human being.

If your character commits a murder a week, is actively abusive to everyone they meet, and has no relationships with any other characters who might vouch for them - idk, man, I think your character is going to get caught! If your character is a quiet and unobtrusive owner of a vintage boutique, however? Well, they certainly don’t scream “IT’S ME! I’M BAD TO THE MOTHERFUCKING BONE!”

In the case of my bad guys:

Claude is a doting husband and father, notably not ascribing to purist tendencies that discourage women from work outside the home. He does legitimate work in real estate and investments, in addition to his shady dealings, to have a legally-sound paper trail should he ever be investigated. His family money funds an entire wing at St. Mungo’s Hospital, and he contributes to political campaigns for centrist politicians. He presents as a harmless goofball. He killed a man well before he turned seventeen. He almost went to Azkaban before graduating from Hogwarts. (”Oh, but he’s on the straight and narrow now!”)

Claude’s cover is that he masquerades as a genuinely good person, and a nice person. When people think about his old-money Sacred 28 family and what that might mean for Claude’s political activity, they also think about how he is a Gryffindor - not known for churning out Death Eaters - and they think about how he doesn’t seem intense enough to be a Death Eater. They don’t suspect enough to have much to go on.

Cleo works as an Auror, and she’s genuinely good at her job - if only because she manipulates cases away from incriminating Death Eaters and their allies and occasionally Imperiuses a contact or two from her days as a Knockturn Alley bouncer to frame them for a crime. She doesn’t use slurs like “mudblood” at the office and doesn’t talk about blood status there, either. She doesn’t pretend to be nice, and her honesty there makes it easier to believe she’s not pretending when she does her job. It helps, too, that she is not Marked.

Cleo’s cover is that while she seems like an asshole and is an asshole, she works in the agency tasked with eliminating Dark wizards and she’s good at her job, as far as anyone can tell. She is an asshole, but there isn’t reason to suspect she is an asshole who is part of the Death Eaters, and it is not illegal to be a dick.

Sadie goes out of her way to be friendly to every new safehouse occupant, acting as a guide to newbies about how to live in the shadows. She performs the role of caretaker, therapist, and confidant, carefully doling out the reveal that she is a squib for sympathetic effect.

Sadie’s cover is that she manipulates other people into viewing her as too weak to be any kind of threat, and she intentionally manipulates people into relying on her for support and guidance.

If your character is not experiencing social repercussions for being an asshole, they need to have a cover. If they are being an outright asshole, this should negatively impact them somehow.

An outright asshole might be stuck in a dead-end job because no one wants to promote someone who’s not a team player. An outright asshole might be super lonely without the self-awareness to realize that their garbage personality is the reason for their romantic troubles. An outright asshole might not be able to talk their way out of a problem.

If your character is an outright asshole and experience no repercussions whatsoever, they’re probably a bit OP.

Give your character a motive.

Now the big question: why is your character Like That? Like, for real. It’s so easy not to be a dick. Why are they a dick? What’s in it for them?

Yes, some characters might be an asshole because they think it’s fun and they like to watch other people suffer. But if all your characters are like that - isn’t that kind of boring?

If all your characters are like that - are you actually writing distinct, well-developed characters, or are you just spitting out the same edgelord with different faces?

Some of your character’s reason for being a dick can be because they think it’s fun. It can’t be the entire reason. It especially can’t be the entire reason all the time.

Of course you can come up with a big tragic reason why a character is an asshole - but it truly doesn’t have to be that deep. (Tips on tragic backstories here.)

Of my baddies:

Claude is a purist because someone has to be a lesser class, and it’s sure as shit not going to be him! Claude is a Death Eater because his father saw a business opportunity - both direct work (e.g. the DE contracting Claude and his goons out for a hit, trafficking dark goods, doing deals with purist groups in other magical organized crime outfits across Europe) and indirect work (e.g. having stronger appeal to some of the most influential wizarding families.) He doesn’t love being branded with the Dark Mark (HE is the master of his fate, goddammit!) but hey, it’s a living.

This is a motive centered around financial gain and expediency. Claude is shitty to value money over human life, and he has no qualms about violence - but the motive is not “fun.”

Cleo is a Death Eater because, as a girl from a pureblood family of no importance, she recognizes that many of the people in the Death Eaters are important and influential, and she wants that kind of power. Additionally, she does get a kick out of violence, but she’s a weapon more than she is a fighter: she’s a tool who needs someone to wield her, to give instructions, to give her purpose. The Death Eaters offer both.

This is a motive centered around status and around order - Cleo being a person who needs order externally forced upon her.

Sadie is working for the Death Eaters because she believes they will win the First Wizarding War, and she wants to secure a place in their new order - ideally something more than she had previously as a squib. She figures if the good guys are really good they’ll forgive her for keeping herself alive - but that the bad guys won’t forgive disloyalty. Also, her boss in the Death Eaters indulges her research in the Dark Arts, which is fun.

This is a motive centered around security and self-satisfaction. It’s very selfish and cold, but it’s not, like, Sid from Toy Story.

Why is your character Like That? What do they get out of Being Bad? What do they like about it? What purpose does it serve for them?

If you can’t think of a reason your character would be a Bad Guy beyond that you want to write a Bad Guy, you should probably rework the character. It’s tricky to write someone who really should just be a Good Guy as a Bad Guy because, depending on your site’s setting, you might end up being a Bad Guy Apologist, leaning into the positive qualities of your character without writing them as an actual villain/antagonist/baddie - and remember, Death Eaters are shitty people! Antagonists antagonize! They should be complex, but you should never lose sight of an abusive class being abusive!

And finally,

They can’t all be serial killers.

It’s tempting, since we’re writing fiction here and we all love drama, to reach straight for a Big Evil when we’re writing a baddie. They murdered ___! Egads!

If all of your baddies murdered their spouse/parent/sibling, again I ask you: are you actually writing distinct, well-developed characters, or are you just spitting out the same edgelord with different faces?

(If all your baddies specifically murdered a woman, might I ask you to examine this choice? Misogynistic violence is not a shortcut to character development.)

Cast of characters aside - what is it your character does that makes them evil? It is worth noting that bad behavior exists on a spectrum, and to jump to the far end of that spectrum without building the character up to it is often jarring and confusing. There are many, many things your character can do that might contribute to their Bad IdentityTM without killing anyone!

Baby Bads: No one gets hurt in a serious way, but the character is unpleasant. Think: a schoolteacher might not let you go to recess. You might get detention. Examples:

petty theft

general assholery

bullying

lying, small & large scale

general unkindness

minor manipulation for personal gain

Middling Misdeeds: These might cause some harm - physically, emotionally, or otherwise - but there’s some room for smart-talking or otherwise evading major consequences. Think: suspension. Examples:

larger theft and other money-related naughties: money laundering, ponzi schemes, etc

physical assault/battery

blackmail

bribery

large-scale manipulation for personal gain or for fun

hate speech (to be clear, I, JB, think this is way more than middling, but in art as in life, a lot of characters are going to do it and get away with it.)

Terrible Transgressions: The far end of the spectrum of antagonistic behavior. If your character is doing this shit, it shouldn’t be coming out of the blue. If your character is doing this shit, there’s got to be a character-driven reason beyond “flavor.” These are things that would get you expelled and moved into criminal court. A lot of things that are viewed as standard topics requiring a trigger warning fit into this category.

murder

sexual assault

torture

child abuse

It’s easy in rp, where there are often way more criminal types in a character population than we hope exist IRL, to forget that murder is.... like.... it’s a BIG DEAL. It’s not something everyone has done. And thank dog, right?

If you’re attached to your character being someone’s cause of death, for specific character-driven reasons, you might think about alternatives. For example, if you hope to convey that Brandon Baddie is a callous asshole, instead of having him kill his roommate over a household chores dispute, you might have him drive drunk, hit a pedestrian, get out of the car, see the body, and drive away. If you hope to convey that Sandy Sadist is cruel, you might have her threaten her sister’s dog, but not actually hurt it, enjoying the fear of the sister and of the dog more than she would enjoy actually hurting either. If you hope to communicate that Ruthie Reckless is thoughtless, you might have her driving 100 mph speeding to the edge of a cliff while her father sobs in the passenger seat, stopping just inches from the edge.

There are so many ways to make a point. If you’re going to kill someone to make a point, do it sparingly, and with very deliberate purpose.

Whether you’re starting your first villain or hoping to hone your villainous sword, I hope you found this tut helpful! Best of luck, and happy writing!

#rp guides #resources #rp writing #writing resources #applications #character development

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sokkisky · 4 years ago

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~baby bird part five~

Want to make a request?: https://forms.gle/NyZgUcqkCPzHRvVn6

Ghost School RP Discord: https://discord.gg/5mschvebTn

Rating: SFW (Angst, Fluff)

Pairings: Keigo Takami (Hawks) x Y/N

Warnings: Kidnapping, Pain/Torture (Not to the child, no toucha da child), Violence, Blood

A/N: OMG THIS IS INSANE! This is seriously a PART FIVE. This is such a cute little series. Part Five is a bit of a prequel though, it takes place BEFORE THE CHILD CAN USE THE WINGS. They’re not even there yet. So that’s a little important. Once again if any of the warnings trigger you, please do not read. And in the immortal words of Aphmau “No toucha da child”. No harm will come to the baby, nobody will be punting any children around here. But yeah! It’s crazy because this is how this whole series started. A kidnapping. Full circle. I’m planning on keeping this going if it continues to be requested, it’s so adorable and yeah, here are the requests. Yes with an S.

I think I request something where hawks x reader where there baby gets kidnapped something like that just in case I didn’t there we go angst to fluff <3

Sorry sorry me again LMAO I love your writing ❤️ Hawks x reader I think I requested this just in case though where the baby gets kidnapped so does the reader the reader gets tortured to save her baby but LUCKILY hawks brought endeavor and the rest of the hero commission and saves her but the baby is safe though ( no pain on the baby ) angst to fluff

Baby x reader gets kidnapped hawks series!!!!

READER AND THEIR CHILD GET KIDNAPPEDDDDDD and HAWKS has to SAVE THEM!

As you can see, this is a highly requested topic. Thank you @wafflesareniceandfluffy and anons. I’m vv excited and everything. While the second request is slightly different, i think I’m going to stick to the whole Hawks’ saves them. Also I’ve been asked a few questions

Your name? - Sokki <3

2. Can we have links to the rest of the series? - Yes <3

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Now let’s get started! Remember to take care of yourselves, be kind to yourself and you ARE WORTH THE WORLD! Please don’t ever forget that. I hope you guys enjoy!

Keigo slammed his hand on the desk. His wings fluttered sporadically with fury.

Again, he let it happen again.

You were gone. His precious baby was gone. He lost the two most important things to him.

Again

~~~

“Fro yo!” your two year old excited said pointing to the frozen yogurt stall up the street. You smiled and looked over to Keigo. “She’s been good today, I’ll go get the fro yo, what do you want?” you asked him, holding your daughter in your arms as she wiggled trying to get to the frozen yogurt stand. Keigo smiled and kissed your forehead, “I’m fine, I just have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back okay?” he said. You nodded as he walked off and you headed towards the fro yo stand with your daughter.

Keigo walked out, his wings relaxed as he looked around. He saw the frozen yogurt cart, but you weren’t there. No biggie he’d thought you’d ordered by now. He looked around the plaza, trying to see you or his kid. He opened his phone and called you.

No answer.

He texted you, not panicking yet. This was a public place, surely if something happened someone would see,

Right?

He checked his phone again, still no answer. He called you again, and again, and again.

No answer.

Now he began to panic. He went up to the frozen yogurt stall but the worker said he hadn’t served anyone that matched your description. Nor anyone with a kid. Keigo hoisted himself in the air, flying above the people looking for you. He called out your name to no answer. He desperately flew around the plaza searching for you.

It was clear however, that you were gone.

~~~

His eyes were clouded with tears as he screamed out. Crying in a mix of fury and sadness. It had been two days now and there were no traces of you or his daughter, like the two of you never existed. He clutched your family photo in his hands tightly as he leaned over on his knees, crying out. His tears dripped to the floor as his body shook. He dropped his forehead to the ground, the tears never stopping. He sobbed loudly unlike he’d ever cried before. His body hurt, his chest felt as if it was going to cave in and collapse on itself. His heart stung.

He failed you.

He lost you.

His mind raced with all the horrible things that could be happening. He remembered how he found you last time, but now they had his daughter. He wanted to throw up thinking about all of the horrible things they would do to his daughter, to you, his only family.

He sat on the ground, upright now, his hands trembling as he stared at the photo. You were there in his arms as he flew above the ground. Your baby in your arms. You both smiled brightly and your daughter was laughing.

Her laugh. Keigo’s pain was sent back in waves as the realization hit that he might never hear her laughs again. He’d never hear her excited giggles or her tiny laughter when they played hide and seek. He’d never again tickle her or fly up into the air with her.

He wanted to go out, to search again. Just one more time to go and see if he could find any clues. He hadn’t slept peacefully in so long his mind filled with nightmares about what you may be enduring.

What if you were dead?

He got up, outstretching his wings and took off towards the city again, looking around each corner, into every alleyway, moving everything around that might be a hidden door. He searched the city sector by sector, up down and all around. He watched the people, watched their movements. Listened for any words that may be clues. He felt his hope begin to drain.

That was until he heard a faint and distant scream.

~~~

“No! No!” you heard your daughter shout. Her screams were so loud. Your body was bruised and battered. Neither of you had eaten or drank in the past two days. You stayed as alert as you could, shielding your daughter from the hurt that was happening to you. You tried to keep her happy, but it was hard when you were so beaten, your body in constant pain and ache.

You always kept on a brave smile for her.

~~~

“Stop it! My daddy is gonna get you!” your daughter screamed from the cage they’d put her in.

“Close your eyes!” you shouted back at her sternly as the first guy pulled out a large whip. “Welcome to our encore sweet heart, enjoy the show!” he shouted, the whip coming down hard on your chained up body.

~~~

You looked to the doorway, watching as the first guys chased after your daughter. “Run baby run!” you shouted, praying she’d make it to the door on time. You watched as your daughter made it out of your sight but you could still hear her.

Your hands were chained to the walls, your arms out. You heard her banging on the steel entrance before another loud scream erupted from the hallway. You scream out your daughter’s name, the guy must’ve caught up to her.

Tears flowed down your eyes as you heard a loud thud, like a skull hitting the hard cement wall.

Your daughter was silent.

You cried, calling her her name, begging for an answer. There was no response.

You broke down, sobbing, your precious daughter,

until a little red feather landed at your feet.

You looked up with tearful eyes to see an angry Keigo in the doorway, your daughter safely in his arms. He stalked into the room, his anger practically radiating off of him, creating a dark aura in the room. The guy who was watching you nearly stumbled before blowing a whistle. Dozens of men ran out of the back room, armed with clubs and knives.

You relaxed, your daughter was safe.

A storm of red filled the room, each feather flying with precise accuracy. Keigo pulled his daughter to his chest, covering her ears and singing close to them, drawing out the sound of the screaming and pained men. Drowning out the voices begging for mercy.

He didn’t want her to know those sounds right now.

Once his feathers finally settled the room was nothing but a lost battlefield. Bodies laid limp across the floor. A mix of blood, shredded clothing and tears scattered around. A feather moved to your chains and undoing them before a group of them hoisted you up carrying you to Hawks.

Some feathers moved to lift your daughter, holding her to face the ceiling so she wouldn’t see the carnage her father had made. He held you in his arms bridal style before using his feathers to set your daughter in your arms. Her face was buried in Keigo’s chest as he instructed.

Keigo walked out holding the two of you, tears running down his cheeks.

~~~

Keigo flew the two of you to a summer home away from the city and far from your old home. He put his daughter to bed, holding her extremely close for a long time, even after she’d fallen asleep, before joining you in the living room to help you heal and take care of your wounds. You stood in the middle of the living room, wrapping gauze around your slit and cut torso, the marks not stinging as much now.

Keigo walked in and saw you. He pulled you into his arms. His head fell to your shoulder and he cried.

“I’m so sorry songbird. I shouldn’t have ever let this happen. I’m supposed to protect you!” he cried out, his hands clutching your cropped shirt. You held him back, tears daring to drop from your eyes as you watched him break down into a pit of guilt.

He sank to his knees in front of you, his head buried in your tummy as he cried, his arms wrapped around your waist.

“I don’t deserve you if I can’t keep you safe, can’t keep the two of you safe.”

You squatted down, your head resting on his as he held you, you ran your fingers through his hair. His body shook as he cried, holding onto you tighter than he’d held before.

You planted a kiss on his forehead prompting him to look up at you, his eyes red and puffy, soaked in tears.

“Thank you Keigo.”

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