#just in case I don’t end getting tickets or being able to go …

[moonlight-fawn]

the way I lowkey wish I never heard about mitski’s tour with Ethel Cain and Laufey because it truly has the possibility of changing my future

[trashland-llamas]

Fork in the Road

x gn reader

Plot bunny/ramble based off the one Cells! At Work episode where the rbc tries to navigate the circulatory system & wbc follows her, making sure it goes well. Instead it’s the batfam w/ their vigilante identities and Reader.

Reader who tends to be easily taken advantage of by Gotham locals, what with being a transplant to the area. But one day they decide they want to learn how to navigate the city, as in go through all the train and subways lines. And then at the end, figure their way back home. It starts with Dick in Bludhaven, riding on top of the train in his Nightwing attire with a clear view of Reader sitting in an aisle seat. Showing their ticket to the conductor, smooth sailing ahead. He’s noticed by a few Gothamites who just hope that his presence doesn’t make them late to work.

‘You’re being a creep. I don’t know how Reader hasn’t spotted you.’ Jason tells him, coming to take the next shift as they had started to encroach on Jason’s patrol territory. ‘I just want to keep them safe.’ Once again, everything goes well as the ghost that was the Red Hood lurking close by. No one dared bother Reader with their scary guard dog privilege equipped. They get spun around a few times and Jason has to stop himself from helping or comforting them. Dick strictly said they only could if it was life or death. So he instead watches from the shadows as Reader pulls out their phone and successfully corrects course. ‘Tag, you’re it.’ Is all he says to Damian after exiting the subway.

Damian helps them get to the edges of the city so Tim can then do the dutiful job of supervising them on their way back to the center. Damian isn't nearly as watchful as Jason or Dick. Oddly defending their choice. Getting into an argument over the phone with the others, 'You all told them to be more self-sufficient. That's why we taught them self defense. For fucks sake, have a little more faith in them.' Hanging up, he places a tracker on their backpack. A last ditch effort in case they did end up lost and unable to find their way back. At the very least to keep his brothers from breathing down his neck.

Tim has the easiest job as Reader's able to apply everything they've learned up to that point. He's not even dressed in his usual Robin attire when he walks straight up to them. The weekly family dinner taking place at the manor and Bruce told them to invite Reader. An invitation that they had agreed to, dressing casual. It wasn't a gala, they reasoned. The duo is two stops away from their destination. Making light conversation, 'heading to the manor?'

'Oh, hey Tim.' While it wasn't out of the norm for him to take public transport, he was a known figure. Wouldn't it be better to travel via Bruce's private car? 'Having a good day so far?' Reader lets out a long 'eh' sound, exhausted by their travels. But ends up yapping all about their adventure into the city. Tim perfectly acts as if he hadn't been following them for the past few hours. By the time they finish, they're at the manor's door with Alfred to greet them. They happily sigh at the thought of a nice, hot meal surrounded by familiar company.

[coichii]

LIGHTS ON ✭

—(🎧)—> the first flight went smooth, landing swiftly in Melbourne on a layover to Sydney to visit your wonderful long distance boyfriend. when the cold, wintery weather freezes up, turns out it’ll be a while before you see him again.

pairing - longdistance!bf!felix x fem!reader

genre - fluff & comfort (what a shocker)

word count - 1.8k (yk how I said it was gonna be rlly short..nvm! I was thinking like..barely 1k☠️)

warnings - cursing & that’s it!

series note : hello !! welcome to part six of my winter series, “winter records of love” where there will be 8 individual short stories for each member :) these stories are based off of songs I deem “winter” feeling ! this story is based off of “lights on” by Tyler, the creator. enjoy <3

Seeing your long distance boyfriend after what felt like years despite it only being months was blissful.

You always missed him. Missed his warm smile, adorable freckles, kind & loving words, and everything more. Missing him was all you did at this point.

So when you got a text from your boyfriend last month saying he’ll pay for your ticket to come visit him and his family, you couldn’t have been more happy. Ecstatic even.

You’re not surprised when you find yourself smiling at nothing on the flight to Melbourne, looking out the window at the beautiful, vast ocean of waves.

The excitement bubbled in your stomach. It’s always so nice to visit him and his family. His mother is always so caring, his father is funny and kind, and his sisters are entertaining and hilarious.

You loved seeing him most of all though. His warm kisses that you missed resonated on your cheek as you thought about him, warmth rising on rosy red cheeks.

You always visited him around this time, when the rain froze into snow. You remembered how he would always wrap his warm scarf around your neck, pulling you into his warm side.

“Plane is now descending into Melbourne. Please at this time, fasten your seatbelts and put up your food trays.” A voice over the intercom sounded, filling your heart with even more excitement.

It would be only a matter of time before you see him again.

◂—♥︎—▸

“What! What do you mean our flight is delayed!” A voice, angry bellowed from beside you. Delayed? What do you mean the flights delayed?

“Sir, calm down. As soon as the blizzard passes, we will board and take off for Sydney.” An attendee ushered, going back to talk with other worried staff.

Now that you think about it, you haven’t picked up your head from your phone much since you arrived, nor have you taken in your surroundings really.

You spare a glance to the side with a huge window and your eyes widen in shock.

The sky, runway, honestly everything, is completely white. All you see is snow absolutely overrunning the airport.

Yeah, there’s no flying in this.

Beep beep! Your phone sounds as you process everything. Looking down at it, you see an incoming call from felix and pick it up.

“Hey baby! How’s everything going!” You hear his voice on the other end of the phone. “You’re about to start boarding, right?”

“Ha.” You dryly chuckle. “It just got delayed. There’s a horrible blizzard...” You explain, voice trickling off at the end.

You play with your hands nervously as the people besides you get nervous, calling their families and telling them they won’t be able to make it intime for Christmas.

It’s hard to not let it get to you, causing you your own form of anxiety. If you can’t see him this holiday, you’re not sure what you’re going to do.

“Oh, that sucks, baby. I hope it clears up soon.” He pouts. You can’t see it of course, but you can hear it in his voice.

“Yeah I know. Sorry about it though.” You mumble, guilt sinking in. It’s been forever since you’ve seen him and he’s the one who payed for your ticket. This is the worst case scenario at this point.

“Hey, no no. Don’t apologize for something that isn’t your fault.” His voice was soft and reassuring, comforting you from your mind, which was slowly drowning you in guilt.

“Okay, ba-“ you were cut off by the sound of a speaker. You look around to find an atendee standing with a mic in her hand, an uneasy look on her face.

“Unfortunately, it is loooking like this plane won’t be taking off until tomorrow.” A collective groaning was heard. “Please come check in and we will offer our complimentary rooms to stay in.”

You were in complete shock, and so was everyone else. Until tomorrow? Could the weather actually be that bad?

“Hey, love? What’s going on?” He asked, weirded out by the sudden cut off of your voice. “Everything okay?”

“Uhm, no.” You replied, voice quivering slightly. “We have to stay overnight, I’m going to be so late.”

He notices the shiver in your voice, heart breaking at the sound of a slight sniffle. He knows you hate disappointing him, and he wants you to know that you’re not.

“Hey, angel. Don’t you worry about it, it can’t be helped. We’ll still be waiting for you, okay?” His warm voice felt like a comforting blanket being placed over your shoulders, comforting you in a secure and safe hold.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll call you tomorrow, baby. I’m sorry, I love you.” You respond as your cheeks turn red. You try to convince yourself it’s the bitter cold rushing in from the outside, but you know better.

“Don’t apologize, y/n. I love you too, good night, sweet girl.”

You hang up and make your way to your room, slamming your luggage that you had received onto the wall before plopping down on the bed.

Man, you can’t wait until this plane can take off.

◂—♥︎—▸

Turns out, you’re going to have to suck up those wishes.

You woke up this morning to absolute pandemonium. Angry people shouting at any staff member they saw, spewing their anger for something you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“How are we supposed to go home if the flight is cancelled?” A young woman’s voice screamed, and your heart dropped to your stomach.

Cancelled?? Wait wait wait… that can’t be?

“We apologize for the inconvenience.” A robotic voice started over the speakers. “All flights departing have been cancelled until further notice. Please prepare to leave within the next twelve hours.”

You can’t believe it. You need to leave within twelve hours. Not only are you not going to be able to visit, but your stranded in a foreign country for who knows long just because of some stupid snow.

You can feel the tears swelling up in your eyes, them beginning to slowly tip over your bottom eyelid.

You go to the only sense of comfort you have left; Felix.

“Hey, baby!” He chirps, the phone only having to ring twice. “On your way?”

“I wish I could say that.” You dryly chuckle, and he can immediately tell that it holds no humor behind it.

“Baby? What wrong, is everything okay?” He asked, voice soft and comforting.

“It’s cancelled. I don’t know what to do or where to go, Lix.” You voice cracked, tears rolling down harder as your breathing unevened.

“Hey, listen. Everything is going to be okay. You can get a hotel and get the closest flight out of there, but don’t cry please. It’s all going to be okay.” He tried to comfort, but it mostly ricocheted off of you and fell on deaf ears.

“I’ll try the hotel, but the first flight to Melbourne is sold out, I heard about it before I called you. I’m stuck here.” Your voice trembles, the feeling of hopelessness creeping its way up your spine.

It feels like being in a forest at dark, owning a compass but it not spinning around the way it does. It feels like nothing is going to save you.

“My love, I need you to listen to me.”

Your ears lock on to his voice, paying the upmost attention to the soft yet firm tone of his words.

“Everything is going to be okay. You’re going to get yourself a hotel, and I’m going to figure something out for you soon, okay? You’ll be fine, I promise you.”

You can feel his words warming up your stomach like a pot of hot soup; comforting and home like.

And that’s what he always felt like to you.

◂—♥︎—▸

Knock knock knock! The loud sound echos off the hollow wooden door of the room.

You had booked a room at a nearby hotel, noticing multiple familiar faces from the airport staying there as well. It was a little tricky, but you eventually got settled at a room on the 3rd floor and hoisted all your luggage up there.

You must have fallen asleep there, because the time all of a sudden jumped from 11am to 5pm from when you had layed your head down.

Cautious, you make your way to the door, not forgetting to peer through the peephole first.

And then, you saw him.

“Felix!! Is that really fucking you?!” You shouted, heart blasting with joy and love after you opened the door. You practically shoved your body into him, laughing at a slight ‘oof’ sound he made when he hit the back wall.

“Yes it’s me, darling.” He coos at your incoming tears before quickly moving to wipe them away.

“H-how’d you come here so fast?” You whimpered, checking and touching his face as if to check if he was real and not a made up figment of imagination.

“I came just as soon as you hung up, i told you I’d figure something out, didn’t I?” He explained. You observed the love sick look in his eyes, wondering how somebody could be such an angel.

Wondering how you got so lucky with him.

“I’m so happy baby, I seriously love you so fucking much.” You said, finally letting go of him and ushering him into your cramped room.

“I love you too, princess. It was no problem.”

“No problem? The drive is eight hours!” You chucked, cuddling into him from where he had taken a seat on the small couch.

“Well, yeah. But it’s worth it for you.” He whispered, stating this as if was just some small thing he had did hold the door open for you.

But it was so much more. No one had ever shown you that they cared for you like this.

Ever.

“Let’s take a rest here for the night then we can go back to Sydney, yeah.” He suggested, and you jumped.

“Wait wait, you’re still taking me to Sydney? You don’t think that’s too much for you, babe?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing in slight concern.

“No, silly. You came here to see me and my family and that’s what you will do.” He giggled, pressing kisses over your cheeks and smiling at your reddening face.

All you could do was look at him, the most fond, loving look in your eyes.

Wow, this is definitely the man you’re going to marry.

[fasolabean]

warninggg this is a long one ,,,

(Okay so I started writing this uhhh vent before more posts on the n//fts appeared later so plz keep that in mind hah)

So I haven’t been too active on here for the past month – a bit personal start, but I’ve moved to a different country whooo!!!! (its terrifying) (my brains been involved in fandom stuff as usual but physically I wasn’t lmao).

But I wanted to talk ab the n//ft (censoring bc idk ab bots here) thing bc while some people on here provided some great context and threads, most of the talk has happened on twitter. So like. Since it was first confirmed what the raffle thing was I was veryyyy disappointed, especially bc K has made fun of this very thing on stage previously. And like yea, the nature of what hes doing is different than the n//ft crypt0 scams, since the cost of the paywalled content is set and not fluid and the raffle thing was free to enter, and I know there have been threads about the website not being the worst on twitter (link) (edit: now here on tumblr too). But still man. Both of these could’ve been done on either an independent website or through stuff like youtube members or patreon. Or hell, even just on the merch store? Like buy a promo code that buys you access to the material?

Also like I get that this was probably a contract that would be rly hard if not impossible to terminate. STILL though, I wish we just got an even short thing like “hi sorry I wasn’t aware this is gonna be a one time thing we’re not doing it again”. I don’t mind extra content being paywalled personally, I know some people do, but I just really wish it wasn’t don’t with that technology. And yes, I also now know it’s a safer way to handle shit like that but I just cant see this excuse being used for commercial use? Like maybe I can see why I could be made to use it for like idk an important document, but a raffle ticket? Nah

I also, ugh. Felt weird about mikke in the team since the winter. This whole thing seems to be – at least to a large extent – either done or influenced by him, judging by even the fact that the europass thingy webpage has oy photomikke marked (no im not buying it but i did look around curiosity was stronger). Also the previous thing that had made me go hmmm about käärijä as a brand was the bnb, which now seems to be ran entirely by mikke and his wife. Like stick to your photos man? That being said tho, Jere IS an adult and he IS the face of this brand. If he doesn’t think hes qualified to make business decisions all by himself (which I get, this shit is hard), nothing is stopping him really from getting a professional to help him with those things. And if there IS something stopping him then hey man I think you should go to the press with that lol. From any interviews ive seen or read, you can feel he feels this responsibility to keep his friends and family that initially helped him afloat. But I wish he understood that not letting people who in the end are not professional about business and PR and having them stick to their own thing does not have to mean cutting them off.

But now I just wanna share a thought that to some might seem like me defending him – which, in case you didn’t get I am very much not lmao. The thing is, im really glad the fandom is able to call him out on a shitty thing – like a bad baaad business decision. You can like somebody’s art, hell you can even like the public person they are, while not agreeing with everything what they do. What annoys me though, is that apart of the kä fandom, he is also often talked about (usually negatively) in the wider esc fandom. Over the past week I’ve seen multiple threads on twitter from people that rarely ever mention him about this. That would’ve been like, not that much of a deal (though sometimes it really got… engagement bait-y) but the amount of bodyshaming and shaming of his fans that comes up with every valid criticism is making me wanna pull my hair out.

Especially cause he’s neither the first finnish esc-related artist to do that (Robin and Cyan Kicks are mentioned on the kollekt website) nor is he the first esc artist of his influence to do it either. Last year Loreen and Alessandra have released n//fts last year, and Loreen did a very similar raffle a couple months ago. Now I wanna be very clear: I don’t want this to be like. Cancelling these people, that would be so hypocritical of me. I also don’t want this to be like a fandom war like oh youre mad he did xyz?? Well THIS and THIS person did THAT!!1! I’m just merely annoyed that these people doing essentially the same thing went with no echo at all, but now I’ve seen us (the fandom) be literally called the r slur and the most vile things being said about jere and, for some reason, his appearance???

Idk man. I really try to  make it clear im not trying to excuse his decisions and I think being angry and/or disappointed at him is absolutely understandable. Im just angry that every single time he fucks up, every single time he makes a mistake, my timeline is filled with a wave of people rejoicing in it. I know he’s a controversial figure, he’s been one since day one, but I just wish he’s gotten the same amount of shit his peers do for the same actions? And this happens every time, and each time im like “well ig I can see why hes so bad when it comes to criticism”. Because imagine doing a thing that your peers have done with no/minimal criticism and then the moment you try it out you get people calling your fans slurs and commenting how stupid you are. Like ngl id also think any criticism was hate lmao.

Again I wanna be very VERY clear im very critical ab what he chose to do. I wish he took some responsibility – and hope he maybe does, at some point in the future. This year has been a whole lot of bad business decisions for the käärijä brand in my eyes, and I hope he can actually see where its gone wrong and do something about it, both for his and our sake. I am also happy to see fellow fans who are able to call out their fave. But man I am TIRED of him just getting all the shit (from people who very visibly fans are not)?? And now I have the proof that it is comparably more than other people and not just my bias towards him because wdym there’s been at least 4 esc artists, 2 of which more famous than him, and 2 umk artists doing exactly the same thing with almost no echo??

TLDR (thishasover1kwordsfuckshit); I wish he did better, simply. I kinda cling to some hope that maybe hey finally this time he will see that criticism can be constructive. I think this is still a level of fucking up that you can like, come back from. Pity it’s connected to the eurotour since kinda souring my excitement ab my first concert in a new country a bit :(

[bicokun]

It’s such a relief hearing about Biden dropping out of the race. His domestic policy has been pretty decent, despite the clear capitulations to Republicans and conservative Democrats he made early on in his term. His support for Israel honestly doomed his electoral chances, though, as there are some evils many people just aren’t going to be able to bring themselves to vote for, no matter how much greater the evil the other viable alternative is. It’s like asking people to vote for being shot in the face or being drowned, even if you can argue one mode of death would be worse, some people just aren’t going to be too excited to vote for either option. His debate performance was honestly just icing on the cake, making it clear even to the Vote Blue No Matter Who diehards that even if they thought his genocide support would fade out of the public’s consciousness by November, he just wouldn’t be able to pull off a successful campaign regardless.

It’s very probably Harris will replace him given she’s officially on the same ticket and is literally there to replace him in the case of him not being able to fulfill his duties. She can continue the same campaign with the same people and treasury with no drawbacks due to having to create a new organization from scratch or having to use that campaign money indirectly through a SuperPAC. And as many issues as she also had as a candidate, I can actually justify to myself voting for her, while I was having a very hard time coming to terms with voting for somebody like Biden. Yes, she was part of the administration, but she signaled early on that she did not want to support Israel’s genocide like Biden does, and actually empathized with Palestinians and anti-genocide protestors that we just never saw Biden do. And for domestic policy, I just don’t see her being less progressive than Biden. Biden’s palatability to conservatives has always been a bit of a delusion, too. This isn’t the late 1900s anymore, and Biden’s insistence on rolling out the gate with conservative compromises doesn’t get him anything but conservatives deciding to paint his moderate position as the extreme left so they can get moderates on board with what would have otherwise been an extreme right proposal. Harris has always been a lot more shrewd and—fittingly—prosecutorial about her fight against Republicans which I think will fit better. If VP Harris ends up just taking over the nomination for president, I have no doubt that the outcome will at least be better than what we would have gotten from the Biden nomination.

[marengogo]

Silver Lining - What If #4 : Thoughts of you …

Toxic - by Yael Naim  [A cover song of Britney Spear’s Toxic]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

🐺 — 🐺 — 🐺—

Hello my beautiful people,

How have we all been? But most importantly: who is ready for SEVEN?

If, like me, you stop by the bird app every once in a while, you’ve probably read about the fact that Han So Hee is said to be the heroine of the MV and with this bit of news, all the speculations around it. SOME PEOPLE ARE GETTING BARE MAD. Me? Well, following the release of the promotional posters and the schedule, my mind started racing with possibilities; I am a film geek after all.

So I hope you have your tickets ready, as the time to jump on the train to Delululand has arrived, as I take a wild guess about what the song and the MV might be about. As the loco pilot of this train I would like to remind everyone, as always, to exercise caution and open-mindedness as we enter the fun and treacherous environment of Delululand, as everything that is said henceforth is nothing other than my thoughts and opinions. Okay? Let’s go! 🚂🚂🚂

As you might or might not know, I have a deep connection with our Golden Maknae (as mentioned in this post —> Jungkoo-gate ) so as I tried to channel myself into the elements that we know thus far, a couple of things came to mind. Let’s start with the word obsession, which definition is:

An idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind.

As we know, when JK finds something that he likes, he dives deep into it. It becomes all that he talks about, that he wants to do and know about.  Though some of his interests have changed through the years, as he gets older some are becoming fixed passions. Such as body art (tattoos & piercing), boxing, comfy and practical clothing, appreciation and expression of sensuality I’ll get to this in a sec, etc etc etc.

I’m not sure if this was the case before the beginning of their Chapter 2, but mental obsession in particular seems to have become a common theme in JK’s everyday life, and I feel like in SEVEN he might be exploring this side of his. We can notice this for example in Left and Right

Or his bringing up / reacting to JM related content, on multiple occasions

And also, fore= example, the repetition of the song up at night by Kehlani (feat. Justin Bieber), after which particular song he suddenly got inspired and went to work on music.

Up at night, like Left and Right, is a song about not being able to stop thinking about a person, Not a thing, a person. Be it during the day with a therapist, or at night while in bed. SEVEN DAYS A WEEK. Not one day a week, not two days a week, but seven, meaning EVERYDAY. Everyday what? Eating everyday? Singing everyday? Boxing everyday? Thinking of something everyday? Thinking of someone everyday? Knowing JK, if this were to be a person, he’ll most likely say it is ARMY 🤡LOL … Mmmm, moving on.

Sexual vs Sensual.

In the same way the word “Anger” has been highly desensitised as the rapline has cleverly explained in UGH!, I feel that the same faith has met the word “Sexy”. By definition, something sexy is something that makes you think about sex, period. Nowadays however, the word has almost “downgraded” to something a bit tamer, when you see your best friend dressed in a provocative way and say “Ooo, sexy!” you don’t mean that you’d like to have sex with them, nor that people will try to jump them, but most likely they will attract their sex of preference with goals that aren’t necessarily ending up in bed with them. 

The word “Sensual” hasn’t met the same treatment, however, in a weird way, it has been almost replaced by the word “sexual” in everyday vernacular.. By definition something sensual, is something that has to do with the appeasing of the senses, especially sexually. So what’s the difference, you might ask. I once, read this difference explanation and I think it makes very much sense:

Something sexual would equate to having sex, whereas something sensual would equate to making love. 

You see the difference right? One is just the action, the other is the action mixed with emotions, which makes it much more visceral and quite a deeper experience. 

Since Fake Love, we’ve seen JK evolving into a young man who is comfortable with body. When on stage, very much like JM, he has been using his body as part of his performance.

Which begs the questions; is it doing it to be sexual or sensual? 

Whenever he says that JM is sexy does he actually mean it in a sexual way or in a sensual way? When he shows us his abs or poses for a CK shoot, does he mean it in a sexual way or a sensual way? Mind you, as with many “similar but different” aspects in the Jikook dynamic, skin exposure also has its difference between the two. JM seems to have no-clothes as a default in his everyday life, whereas JK has a baggy-clothes policy in his everyday life. IN ADDITION, JM has almost become a bit of a prude reaction to anything that is skin revealing, or vulgar, off stage and in front of ARMY most likely thinking of younger ARMY, JK on the other hand doesn’t seem to mind a tiny little bit as he just want to be free to be himself most likely wondering why are younger ARMY watching.

Now, I’m going to get to the appreciation and expression of sensuality part of this post. A lot of talk has been also made in particular with regards to the rings that JK is wearing in one of the posters:

The most prominent speculation has associated the ring/s with BDSM related items and, obviously, we can’t know if this is the case or not, but what we can do is to point out the fact that JK has found himself inserted voluntarily and not into BDSM related conversations.

If you haven’t seen Love and Leashes I would suggest it, it is a very cute and tame way to introduce or just, explain, the BDSM world, without having to go hard core, it is a movie about BDSM afterall so there will be BDSM stuff but in a very tasteful manner. That being said, as the title and topic of the movie is quite explanatory, the only way you’d watch it is if you are interested in BDSM, or at the very least curious about it, as this is NOT an oscar worthy movie, and you can very much live without having watched it if you haven't noticed by now I am very big on both sex and sensuality. 

Am I saying that JK is about to star in an MV where he is BDSMing with a person he is obsessed with? 

NO. Obviously. This is how antis create stories to rattle people, taking information and reaching possibly triggering conclusions to many a person. But if you take these items singularly and in a mature way, sex, sensuality & BDSM, they are all very adult things that can be dealt with in an adequate and safe way for those who are propense to such things. In the simple manner in which JK answered to have watched Love and Lashes. In the same way, walking around with a T-shirt that has a bisexual flag on it, is different from walking around with a T-Shirt that has someone having sex with both gender sexes, A poster of someone with allegedly wearing bondage rings, isn’t the same way as a poster of someone showing how to use the rings, all supposing those rings are used as those type of rings. For all we know they mean something completely different to JK and only the MV, and lyrics, might shade a light to it as well as JK telling directly what it all means of course. 

And now, last but not least: Han So Hee. Imma keep my pansexual ass at bay and just leave the following edit for all of you to summarise the actress that is  Han So Hee real quick

Also, it is interesting to point out that her latest movie, Heavy Snow, is a Sapphic one (this has english subs —> Heavy Snow):

Now, I don’t know if this has anything to do with anything as I think she is famous in particular for being the heroine in the korean drama My Name, as well as the fact that Han So Hee has something to do with the Wooga Squad, or at least Choi Woo Shik as she was at the premiere of IU & Park Seo Joon’s movie Dream with Choi Woo shik, Tae and JK, but it is something that is worth pointing out, I think. 

So what do I think might be her role in JK’s MV?

In the above picture JK is being pictured in “real-life” and Han So Hee in a movie role. One of the interpretations of the female role in JM’s Like Crazy was that it was his reflection, which I’m also very comfortable in believing, so like, the female equivalent of JM. So what if Han So Hee played the female version of JK shiiiit, if I were JK I'd want Han So Hee to play me!!!?

HAN SO HEE movie  : boxing movie, queer movie, korean movie

HAN SO HEE real-life: has tattooes, has piercings, “has” Wooga” squad easy approach 

Looks like a very good actress to represent me, but also if that is the case, the fact that she is a woman, rather than a man is HELLA TELLING, WHICH IS WHY, we need to slow down real quick and think of the other side of the scenarios real quick. 

What if, instead of a young woman whom often has thoughts of thoughts of many things that are often thought as  provocative and/or taboo, so basically a Daring Summer Song, Haegum style, what if it is your everyday love story of a vanilla couple from the female POV as I do think JK is in the video, but not the main character and the seemingly sexy looking part of the promotion poster refers to a sexual part of their “vanilla” relationship in the song, or maybe is just for the posters and has NOTHING to do with the action video and/or song? Because, you know, couples can get freaky every once in a while and if not we need something innovative for a poster which actually has something to do with the personality of the singer?  … 😬😬😬

… ALL THAT BEING SAID, the time has now come to get out of Delululand and straight back to reality. At the end of the day the chances of me being completely wrong about my entire speculation are 85.31%. Yes. But, it did give me a fun ride into JK’s environment and possible scenarios so if all that I thus here speculated turned out to be FAR AWAY FROM WHAT THE SONG AND/OR MVIS ABOUT, then I’ll use it as a prompt for a future movie of mine 🤡.

Always respectfully yours,

Marengo.

[theme-park-concepts]

I know this blog has been pretty quiet lately, and reflecting on it there’s a lot of reasons for it.

One is that this whole account started as a place to chart my journey from being obsessed fan to actually doing theme park design as a career…a journey that has for the most part run it’s course for now and has led to interesting unexpected places, and - mostly a good thing - quite a bit too busy to consistently post things.

But also during that journey, partially as a consequence of it, and even more so a consequence of how the industry has changed since I fell in love with it, and maybe just a bit of how things change over time…I find myself a bit less interested with theme parks, certainly as compared to my relationship with them most of my life.

I’m not uninterested, I still follow all the news, still actively planning to visit new ones, still think it would be fun to participate in designing one…but I just feel less invested. I think partially this is because I’ve had the platform to be able to say a lot of the things I’ve wanted to say, and now having said them, I simply have less on my mind. And maybe realized how few people in the field wanted to hear them.

Having had the chance to go to school for themed design, meet and get to know many of the people involved in it…it’s satisfied my curiosity and questions in many cases, and frankly been a bit dispiriting and disillusioning in others. Meeting your heroes is a very mixed bag.

I think ultimately though one of the reasons I find myself less interested in them, is they keep getting less interesting. It’s not just that I’m not thinking about them as much as I once did, I’m not going to them either, or even wanting to go. I’m finding myself much more interested in theatre, independent immersive events, traveling, exploring local hideaways etc.

The world of themed entertainment, at least in theme parks, has just been getting less and less interesting overall. There’s some really great stuff every now and then, but so many new attractions, parks, coasters seem interchangeable, formulaic, paint by numbers, more product-like than anything anyone actually cared about or had an opinion on. And I don’t say this to diminish the work the creatives, engineers, project managers, etc are doing…the work they do continues to be stellar…just in service of or stifled by strategies, philosophies, visions that I largely don’t find inspiring. Tbh a lot of the industry very much operates that way….you get a recycled master plan, and you get a recycled masterplan, you’re all getting the same masterplan!

And the stuff that genuinely is interesting and different ends up being placed behind enormous paywalls or placed in countries that aren’t safe for me to visit largely for the glorification of a couple investors…and that’s not particularly interesting either. Meanwhile touring musical theatre shows these days you can get great tickets for like $40. And most of those shows, despite being big business enterprises, still manage to say something worth saying.

There’s a whole ass brand new theme park being built by the 2nd biggest player in the industry and I can’t be bothered to do much other than glance at construction photos…and despite knowing many people who’ve been a part of it, I can’t say any of them seem particularly excited either. Though I can’t decide if it’s the fact the park is uninteresting, or that it’s just hard to care about when the governor of the state is banning ap psychology because kids might learn about gay people.

Suffice to say, this blog isn’t going away, I’ll be on tumblr until it literally stops functioning, but I just have less to say these days.

[neonartistycauseidk]

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Headcannons Part 1(?):

- The Golden Tickets have some form of healing properties. I headcannon this because…well…I mainly wanted to solve that conundrum caused by Grandpa Joe suddenly being able to walk, dance, and move around perfectly after being paralyzed (assumably) for years. So, the healing properties…let's get into that. The Golden Tickets were made purposely, by Wonka, with healing properties of sorts. Reasons may vary but I’d say it was because Charlie was the pre-chosen winner and his (and his family’s) eventual fates were sealed from the beginning. And, well, what do the Golden Tickets do? Heal, of course…in more ways than one. See, when Charlie first held his Golden Ticket in his hands, I like to believe that he suddenly felt full—-for the first time in months—-maybe even years—almost as if he had eaten an entire meal. And when Grandpa Joe held it…he found himself able to walk again. Perfectly. Just like that. Completely out of the blue. Now, of course he got up because of excitement for his grandson—-but I think that if the Golden Ticket didn’t have these abilities…I think Grandpa Joe would’ve likely stood up, for a brief moment, and fell immediately after…which would lead to Ms. Bucket going with Charlie instead—which is a whole OTHER situation even in itself. But that's besides the point. So, yeah.

- Here’s one about Grandpa Joe. Remember when I said once he held the Golden Ticket he could walk perfectly again? Well…not really. It helped him get back on his feet, sure, but it’s not like the Golden Ticket could turn back time! Grandpa Joe is still old…very old…and hasn’t been in good health, in all reality, for the past couple years. This is why (even though I mainly go off of the 1971 version in terms of visioning the characters and overall story), I see Grandpa Joe using a cane…or at least carrying one just in case.

- And now…here’s one that's been spinning around my brain recently. Wonka is Charlie’s biological father. Again, I tend to use the 1971 version as reference so keep that in mind! Now, most of my headcannons for this line up with the original Reddit user (?) who came up with this theory/headcannon…However, I’m going to add something of my own. So, as far as I’m concerned, in most versions of Willy Wonka, the Bucket family worked for Wonka and even knew him personally. That being said, I don’t find it difficult to believe that Ms. Bucket (Who I’m going to call Amelia—-a name I got from a fanfic) and Wonka were close…assuming that he was particularly close with her family. Who he was close with…not only because of their candy-making skills—but also because of how nice they all were. Anyway, so, Wonka was close with the not-100%-Buckets (due to the last name likely coming from Mr. Bucket) and at some point, got closer to Amelia. So close in fact that they may have actually been in a relationship. Shocking for Wonka, I know. And at some point, of course, Charlie was conceived. However, it’s a known fact that Wonka ended up firing all of his workers under the firm belief they were all, except for only a select few (like the Oompa-Loompas and whoever was Slugworth in disguise)…which means that Amelia and her family…even if she was in a relationship with him…were fired. Leaving Amelia, not only a single mother, but also searching for jobs to support her family. Now, there are two ways to look at this: one, which I more closely believe, and another that I find less likely—-but it has appeal because of angst. Let's look at the less likely option first. There’s a possibility that Wonka—not only knew about Amelia being pregnant with Charlie…but also, even, had Amelia and her family living with them at that time. Eventually Charlie would be born and Wonka would get to be a father—-yay! But, due to the mass-firing event happening either way…even though it hurt for him (still either way…just this time it hurt more)…he just couldn’t let them stay. Leaving them to leave the factory, with a few-months-old Charlie, to go find a new job and home. Depressing, I know. But hey, here’s the more likely version of events. Wonka had no idea about Amelia’s pregnancy and fired them all just the same—-because, well, he was afraid of his recipes being sold and stolen.

- Continuation of that same headcannon—-just on a different event…So, if Wonka set up the contest to ensure that Charlie, without a doubt, gets the last ticket, wins the contest itself, and later becomes the owner of the factory someday…how did he even find out about his existence? Especially assuming he was unsure what happened to Amelia and her family after firing them…Well, I have an idea. Wonka has some pretty crazy, out of place for the time (technology wise), incredibly powerful inventions and tech, right? Yeah. So, let's say for the sake of this headcannon, Wonka had invented some kind of spy device—-that he likely never used and discarded it soon after making it (he definitely made this machine while under the belief that everyone was out to get him…but once that all stopped, he had no purpose for it). However, since I said he happened to not only be close with Amelia’s family…but also in a relationship with her, at some point he must’ve wondered what happened to her—and Mr. Wilkinson (who I think (?) was Slugworth in disguise) uncovers it for him because he’s like: “Well, Mr. Wonka, if you miss her so much, why don’t you use that machine you made to see her…only if for a little bit.” And he’s all like “No, no—-I couldn’t do that—I made that machine to spy on people. It’d be wrong to use it for this.” And then Mr. Wilkinson says something like—“Alright, then—-I suppose we don’t need to talk about this anymore.” And just as he’s about to leave the room, Wonka says something along the lines of “Wait…maybe I could. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if I’m not intending to spy on her and steal her life’s work, right?” So, Mr. Wilkinson uncovers it for him, sets it up, and they find out what happens to her. Getting his results, likely by searching her name (or something like that)…he sees her in her house, with her family, a man by her side…and a child, toddling about. The entire time, he’s probably trying not to cry—-as he realizes just how much of a horrible man he was. He caused this woman to not only lose her job but to also go dirt poor. And yet, here she is…still happy. She has a family…and she’s happy. But…the more he looks at the kid and the supposed father, he kinda can’t help but notice the baby doesn’t have any of his features. The little boy has his blonde hair, his blue eyes, and basically looks like a baby version of him. So his eyes continuously dart back and forth between Mr. Bucket and toddler Charlie…and at some point he starts counting on his fingers like he’s trying to remember how long ago something was—-so then he’s like: “Uh, Mr. Wilkinson???? I think we have a situation—” and Mr. Wilkinson goes “What do you mean, sir?” Then Wonka says “How long ago did I fire all of my employees???” And Mr. Wilkinson says “About four years ago, sir…why?” And Wonka says “And—-how old is the little Bucket?” And Mr. Wilkinson goes “I’m not sure, sir—but he looks to be about four or five—“ Then Wonka starts to freak out and like pace around the room and Mr. Wilkinsons like “Sir? What is going on?” And then Wonka goes “Mr. Wilkinson…I think I might have a son.” Then Mr. Wilkinsons like: “Sir, that’s impossible! How could you possibly have a son?” And Wonka's like “IT WAS A VERY INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP, MR. WILKINSON.” Then there's a pause…That lasts a very long time…until Mr Wilkinson says something along the lines of “So…You mean to tell me…that there’s an heir to your fortune, business, and factory?” And Mr. Wonkas like “Well, it certainly appears that way.” And then Mr. Wilkinsons all “Okay, so what do you suppose we do about this?” And Wonkas just like…“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……I don’t quite know just yet….uh…just…uh…give ME SOME TIME TO THINK, G*DDAM*IT, I JUST FOUND OUT I HAVE A SON.” And then, over the next couple years…Wonka checks in on the family every now and then while coming up with the Golden Ticket competition.

- Also, here’s a sad one, after finding out about his son…Wonka starts investing in the Lickable Wallpaper…for nurseries. Hey, since when was Wonka’s target demographic babies? I mean, I get kids, sure—-kids like candy…but, uh, babies? Yeah, something tells me that Wonka started making the wallpaper as a way to cope with not being there for Charlie as a baby…and for his entire life up until that point.

So uh…yeah, here were my goofy little headcannons. CATCF has officially claimed residence in my brain and will NOT LEAVE.

[shiningwonderland]

Ren Jinguji (Repeat)

Translator: Mimi (Twitter: _mimisaurora)

December — A Fickle Score

It's now December, and I still haven't been able to talk much with Jinguji-san.

To study abroad....

It's without a doubt an amazing opportunity, but....

It's such a significant decision to make.

Besides....

I catch a glimpse of Jinguji-san.

He looks to be having a fun chat with the girls about the dance party.

Haruka: It’s already that time of year, huh….

A dance party will be held on Christmas Day at the academy's party hall.

The party hall.... The place Jinguji-san took me to during summer break.

I would like to go to the dance with him too....

Should I try asking him...? 

Select the phrase!

Talk to him (+20 Love +0 Music)

Haruka: U-Um… Jinguji-san.

I muster up my courage and try to approach him, but he just stares at me silently.

I can tell without him having to tell me.

His gaze clearly shows that he did not want me getting any closer or speaking to him.

Haruka: Nevermind….

I give up and back away.

I will try to talk to him another time.

I couldn't bring myself to talk to him at another point during the day, and now, it was after school.

Haruka: Sigh… Looks like there’s no one I can talk to about this….

Ryuya: Hey, Nanami. You’re here at the right time. I thought someone might still be sticking around, and you're the right person for the job.

Do you have any plans after this? If not, I'd like you to help me... Can you transcribe this song onto some sheet music?

Select the phrase!

Leave it to me! (+0 Love +15 Music)

Ryuya: Great. I can count on you then.

And so, while listening to the song he'd given me, I transcribe it onto sheet music.

Haruka: Let's see... This part is…

Ryuya: By the way, Nanami. Have you gotten the chance to talk to Jinguji about you studying abroad?

At the abrupt question, I pause for a moment.

Select the phrase!

It’s been difficult talking to him about it (+20 Love +0 Music)

Ryuya: If you’re struggling to talk about it, does that mean you’re seriously considering the offer?

Haruka: …No, I’m still undecided…. I just don’t know how to bring it up to him….

I came to this academy because I want to become a composer.

I’ve been working hard to write songs for idols.

All I had to say is, "I'm going to study abroad."

Those words are the golden ticket for my dream come true.

It will come true, but....

Why does my heart hurt so much?

Ryuya: Are you having second thoughts?

Haruka: Yes. I think it’s a wonderful opportunity. I honestly am undeserving of it.

I'm also well aware that it would be rude to turn it down. But….

Ryuya: It’s Jinguji, isn’t it? You’re worried about him. Well, he is your partner, so it’s only natural to be concerned.

Haruka: …You’re right. I am helplessly captivated by Jinguji's voice and his very presence.

I can't allow this to end with that voice, that incredible presence, that brilliant aura… going to waste.

I want to write him a song that is second to none. It’s what I’ve been working so hard toward this entire time. 

My dream is no longer merely just about becoming a composer. I want to debut with Jinguji-san.

Ryuya: I see. It sounds like you're pretty devoted to Jinguji.... In that case, it would be all the more reason to go now and decline the offer to study abroad. Why are you hesitating?

Haruka: ...It's exactly because I'm so obsessive over Jinguji-san that I'm having second thoughts. I wonder if he really needs me.

I guess you could say our enthusiasm towards all this is so vastly different. Jinguji-san is not as interested in singing or being an idol as I thought he was.

I'm the only one devoted to this debut, and it's pushing me to get desperate. I see how I might actually be more of a nuisance than anything else.

Ryuya: Well, that may be true. But it’s useless mulling it over without confirming the details without confirming with the guy himself.

Haruka: I know….

What he’s saying is right.

It’d be faster to just ask, than worry about it.

But….

Ryuya: What? Are you scared?

Haruka: ….

I suppose… I am afraid.

If he were to tell me he didn’t need me….

“I have no desire to have you by my side.”

Those words he said to me last month. Every time I remember them, it feels like my heart is being torn to pieces.

Ryuya: Looks like I’m right. Well, supposing he does say he doesn't need you as a partner, I'm sure that would sting like hell…. 

But you've known for a long while that he couldn't care less about being an Idol, haven't you? And yet, you've been working hard all this time.

Am I wrong?

Haruka: ….

He's absolutely right.

Despite Jinguji-san not showing up for practice or even letting me hear his voice, I still pushed on.

But now....

If Jinguji-san were to say he doesn't need me, I might break.

Ryuya: So why are you losing that drive now?

Haruka: ….

I think it is because I am in love with Jinguji-san.

A one-sided romance is not a violation of school rules. So it doesn't necessarily mean that I have to give up my feelings for him.

But I can't imagine I'll be able to stop loving him now, and even if we can't be together, at the very least, I don't want him to hate me.

Ryuya: Well, you’re probably going through all this trouble because you don’t understand it yourself. Sorry about that. I’m not criticizing you or anything. Don’t take it to heart.

After that, he gently pats my head.

Haruka: Sensei….

He’s worried about me….

Oh, I’m eternally grateful!

Ryuya: Anyway, no matter how scared you are, you shouldn't avoid him. Just talk to him straight.

Haruka: I will!

I’ve made up my mind that I can’t make a decision on this without telling Jinguji-san first.

I need to face him properly sooner rather than later!

I’m ready.

The next day, I sent Jinguji-san a message.

I didn’t want anyone else to know about my studying abroad, and I figured no one would hear about it if I told him here....

But honestly, whether he would come or not was a gamble.

He still hadn't been talking to me much lately, which made it all the more uncertain....

Ren: Hey, Lady. Inviting me to a place like this is rather intense.

Jinguji-san glances around, amused.

Haruka: Jinguji-san!! I’m… glad you’re here!

Ren: It's something important, right? Ah, I also want to apologize about the other day. I took it a little too far, saying you were unneeded. I'm really sorry about that.

Haruka: No, you’re fine…. I’m the one who overstepped your boundaries….

Ren: …You kind of scared me a little. You were suddenly so straightforward and earnest….

His eyes, unlike last time, look at me kindly.

But his gaze is a bit sad.

Haruka: Jinguji-san…?

I didn't sense any of his usual enthusiasm.

Instead, he sighs and looks down.

Ren: I was just glad to hear how you felt. I appreciate your kindness. So, what can I do for you?

I wanted to talk to him about studying abroad….

But….

Haruka: Um, before that, can I ask you something?

I want to find out if he needs me as a composer, if what I'm doing is helping him.

Ren: Go ahead.

Haruka: Jinguji-san… What am I to you… Is my music….

…wanted? I can’t bring myself to say that word.

Haruka: …. …Would you miss me a little if I were to be gone?

I realized exactly what I was muttering. 

Ah... Wait. 

Why did I ask that? I didn't mean to….

Ren: No, not at all. We don’t have that kind of relationship.

He averts his gaze and mutters back under his breath.

Whenever I try to bridge the distance, I am confronted with merciless rejection....

He will never allow me to be by his side.

How much does he need me?

What can I do?

Haruka: I see… I guess you’re right.

Ren: …Please don’t… make that face. It troubles me when you do… You look best with a smile….

His hand, which rose for a brief moment, fell back down effortlessly, and Jinguji-san looks down again.

Select the phrase!

Jinguji-san… (+20 Love +0 Music)

I grab onto a corner of his clothes without thinking.

Ren: Lady? What’s wrong?

Haruka: Ah, I-I’m so sorry. Uh! Everything’s alright. I’m fine!

I tried my best to manage a smile, not wanting him to worry, and Jinguji-san looked a bit worried.

He then gently brings me into a hug and softly pats me twice on the back. 

Ren Jinguji: It's nice to see you smile, but not when you have to force it.

He whispers in my ear and lets go of his embrace.

A fleeting touch.

But that tenderness hurt, and it almost brought me to tears.

Haruka: It’s… about me studying abroad….

I somehow manage to get the words out.

Haruka: ...I've been recommended to study abroad in America….

"It was on your brother's recommendation."

I kept that part to myself.

I feared that if I said that, it would only serve to cause Jinguji-san even more grief.

Haruka: After studying in America, I'll be able to debut as a composer….

Jinguji-san brows shoot up slightly and he brushes his hair out of his face.

Ren: Oh, that’s great to hear. I assume it's the result of your abilities being duly judged.

Jinguji-san replies with a coy smile on his face without batting an eye.

I should be happy to hear his praise, but...

It fills my heart with loneliness.

Haruka:  …I am very grateful for the opportunity to debut, but I....

I want to work hard with Jinguji-san….

Is what I was about to say….

Ren: Go wherever you want to go, even if it’s the States. I have no right to stop you.

He interrupts me and I'm left speechless.

What Jinguji-san said is valid.

I have to make the decision because it is my life.

It's wrong to leave that choice to someone else.

But....

There's something that still bothers me.

Select the phrase!

I want to do debut with Jinguji-san… (+20 Love)

Haruka: If I’m to debut, I want to… I’d like to do it together with you.

Ren: Of course, as your partner, I'm delighted you feel that way. But your debut is not guaranteed if you try with me.

Now, if you study abroad, your debut will be practically confirmed at that point. Did I get it right?

Haruka: …Yes.

Ren: Say, Lady. What's your dream?

He places a hand on my shoulder and whispers in my ear.

Haruka: My dream is… to become a composer.

My voice shakes as I answer.

Then, grabbing both of my shoulders, he looks into my eyes with a serious expression.

Ren: Exactly, you’re here to become a composer. And now, they’re rolling out the red carpet for you. So why are you hesitating?

I’ve told you before, haven’t I? You’re destined for this. You should think about that.

With those words, he lets go of his grip.

Ren: Is that all you wanted to talk about? Then I’ll get going now. I have somewhere I need to be after this.

Haruka: Yes… Thank you.

So… that was it?

My absence didn't seem like a big deal to him.

Ren: Well, I’ll see you around.

Flashing his usual smile, he raises a hand and walks away.

I wish Jinguji-san would have stopped me.

It was a thought I had entertained somewhere in the back of my mind.

I was naive enough to think that I would give up the idea of studying abroad if he did so.

I had hoped Jinguji-san would make the decision for me, even though it was only for me to make.

This is my life after all.

I've relied far too much on Jinguji-san just because he was my partner.

Let's rethink this.

What is best for me and for Jinguji-san?

And above all.

What do I want to do?

It’s been a few days since I last went over everything with Jinguji-san.

I still couldn’t decide on an answer.

I definitely think that studying abroad would be better for me in the long run.

But I don't want to leave Jinguji-san's talent untapped.

By coming to this academy and meeting him, I have found a new dream.

I want him to sing with his heart.

And I want to share that song with the world.

But...

It's nothing more than my own selfish dream.

I'm just forcing him to become someone he's made clear he doesn't want to be....

Tokiya: So, I heard the news, Nanami-kun. It sounds like you’re going to study abroad.

In the classroom, Ichinose-san approaches while I’m lost in my thoughts.

Haruka: Ah… Yeah. I was invited to study abroad and pursue a more advanced study of music.

The truth is, I haven't formally replied yet, but for some reason, the proposal is continuing to move forward, and it's hard to say no....

But then again...

I wonder how he possibly could have heard about it, I've been trying to keep this a secret for as long as possible....

I guess I can't keep it to myself forever.

Syo: Seriously?! How come I didn’t know about this? And Ren…? What do you think?

Ren: It doesn’t matter to me… It’s her life. It's up to her what she wants to do, right? Who am I to interfere with that?

His cold words stung a bit.

Syo: Oh, come on. You’re so mean! You should be trying to stop her!

Syo-kun retorts, looking annoyed.

Tokiya: Syo…. They are entitled to think what they want. It's not something for others to meddle in.

Ichinose-san calmly reminds him.

Syo: Yeah, I guess I see your point… It’s just kind of sad. Let’s all at least throw her a huge going away party!

Haruka: Thank you.

It made me happy to know he’d miss me.

But... seeing as the offer has gone ahead and my classmates are even aware of it...

There is no turning back now.

If they took my silence for confirmation, I can't refuse them at this point.

I will soon have to part ways with Jinguji-san....

Then I have to at least finish the song before that.

This is my unrequited love.

My final selfish act.

I'll write a song for the graduation audition, hand it to Jinguji-san, and then wish him farewell with a smile.

Then, in a matter of what seemed like seconds, things moved quickly, and it was decided I would leave the day after Christmas.

So that I could leave with no regrets.

I poured my everything into this.

All of the love I carry... every single bit of it, I put it all into this song.

I weave a melody straight from the heart.

And then, I carefully arrange the melodies one by one.

And finally....

Haruka: …It’s done.

On the day before the dance party, I finally managed to end up with something I was happy with.

I leave the day after tomorrow....

It came down to the wire, but....

Even so, I'm thankful it's done.

Haruka: I hope he listens to it….

Preferably, I want him to listen to it right now, in front of me.

He's a busy guy, so it's unlikely he'll show up on such short notice.

Still....

I really wanted him to listen, so I sent him a message.

“The song is ready. Please give it a listen. I'll be waiting for you in the recording studio.”

Haruka: …I wonder… if he’s coming….

An hour has passed since I sent the message.

I just sat in the recording studio looking out over the booth, unable to motivate myself to do anything.

Ren: Hey, Lady. I heard you finished the song?

Haruka: I did!

He really came….

What should I do? I'm over the moon.

Haruka: Um… Thank you so much!

Ren: You’re… thanking me? That should be my line. This is the song for the graduation audition, right?

Jinguji-san gives a genuine smile, looking really happy.

Up until July, he never really showed any interest in music or singing.

If anything, it almost seemed more like a chore to him than anything.

But during summer break, little by little, he started to look more interested.

Whenever I composed a new song, he would enjoy listening to it, and even sometimes share some advice on how I could improve it.

Before the school festival, he was having a lot of fun with it, and I wish we could have kept writing music together like that.

But those fun times came to an end with the school festival.

I hurt him by going too far.

I believed he hated me already.

But my songs....

He didn’t hate it.

I could tell just by looking at his eyes.

Jinguji-san still loves music even now!

Ren: You've probably been swamped preparing to study abroad. Do you mind if I take a listen?

Haruka: O-Of course! I’ll play it now!

And so, I played the newly completed song.

I wonder what he thinks....

From the start until the end, Jinguji-san listens to the song intently.

I hope he likes it.

After the song ends, he parts his lips to speak.

Ren: … I see. Not bad.

Haruka: So… d-does that mean you’ll sing it at the graduation audition?

Ren: Naturally…. I am the only person in this world who can perfectly handle performing this song.

He replies with a wink.

Haruka: Thank you!!!

He likes it….

I’m so glad….

But, in the next moment, his face clouds over.

Ren: …You’re leaving the day after tomorrow, right?

Haruka: …Yes.

We'll have to part ways in two days' time.

Thinking about it makes my heart ache.

We won't... be able to see each other anymore....

I will no longer be able to have him smile at me like this or listen to my songs.

Ren: You don’t look too excited….

Jinguji-san walks up next to me and brushes my bangs aside.

Ren: You were having doubts about studying abroad a little while ago, right? Is it because you were worried about not knowing the language? Or maybe you lack confidence in your own talent? Or perhaps....

He trails off, biting his bottom lip.

Ren: No… Nevermind. Anyway, this is a huge opportunity for you. Do your best out there. I have high hopes for you.

Using the hand that had brushed back my bangs, he lightly caresses my cheek and flashes a kind smile.

Haruka: …I will.

Jinguji-san is sincerely cheering me on.

I want to meet his expectations….

Ren: Ah, right. The dance party is tomorrow, may I escort you to the dance?

Haruka: Oh! Are… Are you sure?! I-I’m really glad… but…. Are you sure you want to go with me?

Ren: Of course, tomorrow is the end….

The end….

Those words pierce my heart.

Ringo: Ah, there you are…. Phew, I'm glad you're still here. Hurry back, everyone is waiting.

Ren: Waiting…? Didn't we already wrap up the interview a while ago? I made sure to check with the director.

Ringo: It seems there was one thing they missed, so it should only take a second. 

Ren: I see, if that’s the case, then fine. Well then, Lady, I’ll be seeing you tomorrow.

With a wink, Jinguji-san leaves the recording studio.

Ringo: Thank goodness… What a relief. Looks like everything will work out in the end. I got so worried about what I was going to do when my cell wasn't getting through.

Haruka: U-Um… About Jinguji-san’s interview….

Ringo: Oh, it's for the Jinguji conglomerate. It happens from time to time. That kid is really liked among the bigwigs because of his good looks and great way with words. 

He's often sent out whenever there's a special feature on the wealthy. He's usually really good about standing by for a while after the interview is over.... 

This time, though, he wanted to finish early for some reason.... He didn't even wait for them to check over the footage, he just asked the director if it was okay to go....

Haruka: Oh… I see….

Jinguji-san.

Despite being so busy, he made sure to come….

Ringo: But I’m glad to still see your face around campus. Well, I have to go now too. I’ll catch you later, Haru-chan.

Haruka: Of course. Thank you.

What am I going to do with myself…? I'm so happy.

He came in spite of his busy schedule....

He didn't even look annoyed at me for sending a message on such short notice....

He hurried as soon as he was done to listen to my song....

Tomorrow will be the end.

I poured all of my feelings into this song.

And even now, I feel my love for him about to overflow.

I didn't want to leave, my heart felt like it was going to weep.

And then, the next day.

Tomochika: Alright! You’re perfect. I think I did pretty good if I do say so myself.

Tomo-chan helped me dress and apply my makeup before the dance party.

Haruka: T-Thank you. I’m sorry for leaving you with all the work. You’re still not even ready.

Tomochika: Oh, I don't mind at all, I can get myself ready in 10 minutes. And besides, I actually enjoy doing makeup for others.

It's fun to be able to see things objectively and, with my own hands, watch it all come together to form something pretty.

It's practically a hobby, and I like doing it, so don't worry about it.

Haruka: …Thank you.

Tomochika: Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re going to be studying abroad.

Haruka: …Yeah. It’s a great opportunity….

Tomochika: You don’t look too happy about it…. Well, you can do whatever you want with your life but... If it gets tough, you know I'm always here for you.

Just make sure you have no regrets!

We're friends no matter where you go. You can talk to me anytime. And... I'll make sure to keep your space here ready for you if you ever decide to come back.

Speaking, she gestures to my bed.

Haruka: …Thank you.

Ren: Lady, are you in?

Haruka: Ah, yes.

Tomochika: Looks like your partner’s here…. Perfect timing. I’ll be leaving soon too, so you go on ahead.

Haruka: …T-Thank you.

Ren: You look absolutely beautiful in that dress. The lace stands out perfectly against your fair skin. You look like a princess straight out of a fairy tale.

Haruka: Uh… I… I don’t…. T-Thank you.

Ren: I'll be with you for the entire evening.

Haruka: Huh... With me? But, the other girls….

I thought he'd at least be dancing with the girls....

But Jinguji-san just grins and without another word, we start walking.

Huh…?

Isn’t the party hall over there?

Haruka: W-Wait… The party hall….

Ren: We’ll be here tonight.

Haruka: ???

And then, we arrive….

Ballroom music plays in an empty auditorium.

Haruka: There’s… no one here. I knew the party hall was in the other direction….

Ren: No, this is the right place. I don't want anyone disturbing us, at least this one last time. Come on, let's dance.

Jinguji-san takes my hand and we start dancing.

Haruka: Um, y-you know, I’m not really… good at dancing….

Ren: Then allow me just one song. Don’t worry, I’ll lead you along well.

He winks and begins to take steps forward.

He skillfully moves his arms and hips to lead the dance, not minding my clumsy gait.

Jinguji-san was so good at leading that although I was hardly moving on my own, I almost believed I was dancing magnificently.

...This is it.

This is the final night I can call myself Jinguji-san's partner.

With a heavy heart, I still found myself able to be happy dancing together with him.

When the dance ends, Jinguji-san holds my hand and escorts me to the center of the stage.

A small table and two chairs were placed there with food, cake, and wine glasses arranged on the table.

Ren: It's not much, but I prepared a cake and some drinks. No champagne, of course.

He speaks up with a soft smile.

Ren: I thought about reserving a restaurant… or something like that… but I figured you wouldn’t be too happy with that…. So….

I put it all together myself. I didn't rely on using my family's wealth, but instead, I did everything from scratch.

Haruka: Um….

Ren: It’s not really something I’m used to doing. The cake turned out looking a bit funny.

Haruka: You made all of this yourself!? That’s amazing… I don’t know what to say, that makes me so happy to hear….

What should I do?

I feel like I'm going to cry….

Everything is handmade…. I’m so overjoyed that Jinguji-san went through such lengths for me that I didn't know what to do with myself.

Ren: I had watched the chef make it and thought it would be easy for me to do myself. Well, I ended up making a mess with the whipped cream flying all over the room. 

I ended up just leaving it as it was, and I'm sure Hijirikawa will complain about it later. But, like I care.

Finishing that thought, he suddenly smiles.

Ren: Now, the taste may not wow you… but since I followed the recipe, it should still be pretty good, don’t you think?

Haruka: I don't even know how I can possibly repay you for treating me so kindly. Ah, I should have also prepared something for you.

Ren: Lady, you don't have to worry about a thing. We're celebrating you studying abroad tonight. Please, go on, have a seat.

He smoothly pulls out a chair and, with a practiced hand, helps me sit.

Haruka: Ah, s-sorry.

Ren: There’s no need to be so nervous, I want you to relax.

Haruka: Ah, a-alright. I’ll do my best!

Re Jinguji: Come on, relax, relax.

He lighty pats me on the shoulder and smiles.

As he gazes at me tenderly, I naturally begin to break out into a smile.

Ren: Yes, there we go. That smile. I hope it remains that way always. Tonight's a special occasion, after all.

A glass of a richly hued grape juice is poured and a plate of cake and chicken is served.

Haruka: I-It’s alright, I can serve myself.

Feeling grateful, every time I try to do something....

Ren: Not today… Allow me to do this for you.

Jinguji-san kindly assures me, and I end up leaving everything in his capable hands.

This is the first time in my life I've experienced something like this….

I've never had someone handle everything for me this way before.

I wonder if… this is really okay?

It feels like a scene straight out of a drama, and my heart begins to race.

Ren: Here’s to your new beginning… Cheers.

The sound of our clinking glasses resonates throughout the spacious hall.

Haruka: Thank you very much.

Ren: Now, go ahead and eat….

Haruka: Alright.

Jinguji-san watches me with a smile on his face as I bring the food to my mouth.

Haruka: Ah… It’s delicious….

Ren: That’s good to hear. I hardly ever cook, so I was a little worried how it’d turn out.

Haruka: No way, it's super tasty! I'm very grateful that you made this for me….

Ren: It's worth all the hard work to hear you say that. It's very rewarding to know when someone is happy as a result of something you created yourself. Oh, and by the way....

Jinguji-san stands and comes up behind me. 

Ren: Stay still for a moment….

He brushes my hair aside, brings his hands around my neck and places something on it.

Is this… a necklace…?

Ren: There, that’s better. You look lovely, my Lady.

He kisses the pendant at the end of the necklace and smiles.

Ren: I actually also handmade this myself. I was looking through some jewelry during the school festival and thought maybe I could do it myself instead of buying something that already existed. 

I gave it a try and it turned out to be surprisingly easy. That is the first piece I ever made... Do you like it?

Haruka: I-I do. I’ve never seen anything so wonderful!

Ren: Then, will you cherish it forever?

Haruka: Uh… W-Well….

Ren: It’s already yours. There’s no one better suited for it than you.

Haruka: Thank you so much!

Ren: You’re very welcome… Ah, look, you’ve stopped eating. Go on, your food will get cold.

Haruka: R-Right.

Every time Jinguji-san flashes me a kind smile, tears threaten to well up in my eyes.

But if I cried now, surely I….

I don't want to leave, I want to stay by your side.

I love you.

...Is what I'd like to say....

But I knew I couldn't do that.

So, I held back my tears.

Ren: …Oh, it’s gotten quite late…. There’s actually one more gift I have for you.

Haruka: Please, I’ve already received plenty. This is too much. I already don’t know what to do…. 

Just celebrating with you like this fills me with so much joy! I can't imagine anything better….

Ren: My lady…. Don’t hold back. Today, I want you to leave everything to me.

Haruka: Ah… Is that….

Ren: Yes, this is your final gift!

Jinguji-san swiftly pulls out his saxophone from under the table, hiding behind the tablecloth.

He’s going to play… for me.

…I’m so happy!

Ren: I knew it.... You love music better than any costly item. You look absolutely delighted right now.

Then, with the saxophone in his hands, Jinguji-san wears the most serene and tender smile I've ever seen.

Haruka: Ah… Yes. I love your saxophone playing, Jinguji-san, so I'm honored I get to be able to listen to it.

I really don’t know what to say. This will become a very treasured memory. Thank you so much.

Ren: Good. I dedicate this music to you!

With a determined look on his face, he breathes in, grins, and begins to play on his saxophone.

He was just as incredible the last time I heard him perform, but....

His technical skills are in a completely different league.

I always considered Jinguji-san to have a superb ear for music, and his ability to draw people in was remarkable.

While gazing at him, transfixed, our eyes suddenly locked.

Then, Jinguji-san smiles and winks at me.

Ah!

He's so cool!

He now plays with an even greater range of expression, making his performance on par with that of professionals.

If music were to be compared to writing, technique would be language.

If someone with a natural talent for writing learns many words, the number of ways in which they can express themselves will increase dramatically.

Even if they want to convey something as universal as "love", the more words available to them, the more impactful their message will be....

His performance is splendidly majestic.

It is passionate, yet delicate in its delivery.

Just listening to it, my heart trembles, and tears well up in my eyes.

I was so absorbed in applauding that I forgot to wipe away the tears that were falling down my face.

As I continue to clap, Jinguji-san gives a wry smile, sets down his saxophone, and approaches me.

Ren: Was it good enough to make you cry?

He gently wipes away my tears with his fingers.

Haruka: Yes… It was… very touching…. I’m so happy….

My tears continue despite his best efforts to wipe them away.

Ren: I didn’t mean to make you cry, but if they’re tears of joy, I can live with it…. 

I guess all that practice paid off a little. Oh, and I also wrote some lyrics for your song, even though it's not quite finished yet.

Jinguji-san opens a notebook and hands it over to me.

The moment I see the words written on the page of the notebook, the melody of the song I composed comes to mind and Jinguji's voice plays in my head.

It's only an imagining, of course.... But, it's so cool, and I want to hear the song as soon as possible.

Haruka: Um… Could I… listen to you singing this?

Ren: I'm afraid I can't do that. The lyrics aren't even complete yet. I would like to work on it some more.

Besides, I need more practice. I can't let you hear it when it's still incomplete.

Saying that, he takes the notebook from my hand.

Right....

Of course. I also wouldn't want to show off a song that was unpolished….

But it’s really a shame….

Ren: You really wanted to listen, huh?

Haruka: Yes… but I’ll deal with it. Oh… the graduation audition!

I will make sure to return on the day of the graduation audition. So… please let me hear it then. Um… I’ll be looking forward to it….

I want to listen to it soon so badly.

I want to create a song with him.

But we are unable to stay together.

If I were to cancel my plans to study abroad now, it would only cause trouble for Jinguji-san's brother....

I never did end up telling him that his brother is the one who made this study abroad possible but....

Inconveniencing his brother would ultimately be the same as inconveniencing Jinguji-san....

I want to stay here.

I want to remain by his side forever.

Biting back the words that nearly slipped from my mouth, I tightly clench my fists.

Haruka: I will continue to support you no matter how far away we are from each other.

I truly believe that you will become a wonderful idol.... I'm sorry I couldn't be with you until the end. 

But with your talent, you'll be able to debut even without me around.... Ah, but wait, that's right.... 

You... don't even want to become an idol.... You never need me to begin with….

Huh? That’s strange….

I didn’t mean to say any of that….

What should I do….

I can’t control myself….

If I let myself continue like this, I might end up saying things I shouldn't….

Haruka: Uh… so that’s why… I’m sorry. I’ll be going now.

I find myself starting to run away.

But....

His hand quickly shoots out and grabs onto my arm.

Ren: Don’t go!

Haruka: What…?

Before I can react, he pulls me into an embrace.

Jinguji-san's fingers bury themselves in my hair as he hugs me, so tightly that it hurts.

Haruka: U-Um… I….

Ren: Today is not over yet!

Jinguji-san raises his voice. As I tremble under the fierceness in his voice, he loosens his hold and gently strokes my hair.

Ren: I give up. I wanted to see you off smoothly... but you... the look that you have on your face….

His voice quivers, hugging me tightly again.

Ren: I don’t want to let you go….

Jinguji-san mutters in a voice so small I thought I’d imagine it.

Haruka: I… don’t want to go. I want to stay by your side forever. But I'll be causing problems if I don't leave, so…

Ren: That’s not true. I need your song…. Is that selfish of me?

Haruka: That… I'm so happy to hear you say that. But….

Now that the offer has gotten this far, I feel it would be rather disruptive to turn it down now.

Besides... Jinguji-san's brother is the one who recommended that I study abroad....

Haruka: ...Your brother recommended that I study abroad. To refuse now would be…

Jinguji-san's shapely eyebrows twitch.

Ren: It was my brother…? If I had known that, I would have never supported this in the first place.... 

He must be trying to use you for something absolutely idiotic. That man wouldn't have suggested you study abroad otherwise....

He tightly bites his bottom lip.

Haruka: But… studying abroad… Jinguji-san… You said it was fine.

Ren Jinguji: I won’t let you go!

He tightens his hold on me.

Ren: This is your future we're talking about. I don't care if my brother is involved, as long as it's really for your benefit. But there's no way to be sure. Besides....

Haruka: Jinguji-san….

I murmur softly and glance up at his face.

He then places a kiss on my forehead before letting go of his embrace.

Ren: Sorry… This isn't like me. It seems I got caught up in the spirit of Christmas Eve and got a little emotional.... 

But... I still don't want to let you go. At first, I genuinely believed it would be better for you if you studied abroad. 

I thought it would help you release the music I was so captivated by out into the world as quickly as possible.... But it seems I was wrong. 

It was a new chapter in your life, but you were on the verge of tears the entire time. I can't allow a woman with such a look on her face to leave. 

You have something more important on your mind than making your debut. Tell me, what is your real dream....

My real dream….

Haruka: …I want to…. I want to make a song with you. I want to….

I want to properly get through the graduation audition. I want us to work hard together. I want to… aim for our victory….

Holding back tears, I finally confess my honest feelings.

Ren: Alright lady, I'll make sure that dream of yours comes true. I swear on this night, I will.

Haruka: T-Thank you….

Ren: I won't let you cry alone. If you're going to, do it in my arms.... Okay?

Gently, he pulls me closer to him and guides my face to rest on his chest.

Haruka: …Okay.

And so, Jinguji-san gently caresses my back until I stop crying.

He told me not to go.

He needed me.

And that made me happy….

The very thought of ever leaving him completely vanishes.

The next day.

Haruka: Please accept my most sincere apology!!

I stand in the principal's office and bow my head.

Despite the fact I had never given them a formal reply, they had already started making arrangements for me to study abroad.

And they canceled it on the day of my departure.

I can't think of anything more tremendously inconvenient than that.

Haruka: It was very last-minute…. I caused trouble for so many people….

Ryuya: To be fair, they had already made their moves before you even had a chance to give them a proper response….

When it comes down to it, it’s better than getting on that plane only for you to have to come back later.

Shining Saotome: Hahaha!! Well, we somehow managed to salvage the situation! Shining’s political power is invincible!

Haruka: T-Thank you very much!

Sensei….

Shining Saotome: In return, give it your all and do your best!

Haruka: Absolutely! I will try my hardest!

Ryuya: Oh, and I'll let them know, so you don't have to worry about it.

Harukai: Hyuga-sensei… Thank you so much!!!

And so, I canceled my study abroad.

I caused trouble in many different ways, but even so, I decided to take a stand and give it my all.

Haruka: Ah, Jinguji-san. Did you wait for me?

Ren: Well, yeah. It seems like things went well from the looks of it. Now then, shall we go? I've reserved a recording studio for us.

Haruka: Thank you!

Starting today, I’ll work hard together with Jinguji-san!

And together, we will win the graduation audition.

Without fail….

Mini Game

Ryuya: Hey, Nanami. Sorry for calling you out here. But, here's the thing. I'd like to ask for your opinion as a composer. 

There's an unfinished set of lyrics that a student of mine wrote, and he’s still struggling with a few parts. 

When you think about putting a melody to it, as a composer, which phrases would you choose? I'd like you to choose from among these options. 

Just think of it the same way you did the previous lyric test. But since the lyrics are not yet set in stone, it's not like there is a clear-cut right answer. 

If I had to say, it would be about how well it might resonate with him… or something like that. You know what, nevermind. 

Are you ready? We’re about to start.

The next day, I show Jinguji-san the lyrics I had written.

Ren: I knew I could create this with you. My own personal music. I'm sorry for stopping you. But I have no regrets. Let's debut together.

Haruka: Yes! I have no doubt in my mind that we will definitely debut!

I won’t be sparing any effort.

I will do whatever it takes.

Chapter End

[faraige]

ok so my two cents on what I'd like to see/my theories for Além do Guarda-Roupa (My Magic Closet/A Través del Espejo) season 2 in case it happens:

First of all, Carol explains the whole Fever Kiss Mistake asap and Kyung believes her (after the ending I don't think it would make sense for him not to). She wanted to fix that mess before they closed the portal and with her progress after they did I don't think she'd chicken out this time around.

Chul and Dieguinho’s relationship!! Dieguinho’s father grumpily learning to accept his son and Chul being a part of it as his boyfriend!! His father being hard on Chul at first until he sees how strong, fit and agile he is and ending up bonding over sports and how much they care about Dieguinho!!

Mok and Nayara being the absolutely amazing team they have proven to be before and just being the absolute MVPs in their job of helping the rest of the team in whatever the hell they do.

Onto more Plot Heavy things: Everyone gets an Emergency Meeting so Luisa doesn't sell tickets to Carol's room to pay for her mother's treatment. This could lead to an ultimatum to get her the money or else she's doing whatever it takes to save her mother. Here they could do parallel plans:

seeing how the guys can't simply send the money to Carol or Luisa directly without getting A LOT of eyes on them, maybe Mok and Chul work with Nayara to rally the fans somehow (make the cafeteria an event point for something without the band having to break the k-pop history of not going to Brazil? Idk enough about k-pop to know what could be believable, tbh).

Carol goes find her father to ask for the famed money. The way they wrapped up that storyline in the ending felt complete to me, seeing how she could let go of the guilt about what happened to her mother after her own father wrote to her that it wasn't her fault, nor the accident nor him leaving, and it could be closure enough for her. Still, they left the door open for her to go find him if she wanted or needed to, which could be a great way for her to reconnect with her South Korean heritage, visit Seoul and spending time with Kyung as her guide. Seeing that journey could also open the wound Kyung carries from his childhood about his mother abandoning him and start to heal it, although I don't feel that's necessary, even if it could be interesting. Plus, both Carol and Kyung being lovey-dovey around Seoul could stir some drama the same way sightings of ACT in Brazil did in S1.

Carol uses the money she wins on the competition, which should be for her to be able to dance without a worry in the world, but we know that’s not how this kind of stories usually go. She could get in a lot of trouble if she gave that money to Luisa, so either she gives her the money and has to make it back before the wrong people notice, but at least her aunt gets more time, or it’s a last resort plan that they save in case of it being necessary. Not very sure how this could thing could go because I don’t know anything about ballet or its world aside from it looking pretty, but I feel Carol’s dream when it comes to ballet mixing with the harsh reality paralleling the idols' carrer struggles could be very interesting. (Maybe the group “hires” her as a collaboration with the ballet institution that did the competition and ImpACTades? Idk!).

The Whole Dae Ho Thing. There's a lot to unpack there, because if the show had a villain at all (aside from the company that created ACT and their manager), Aunt Rebeca was it for most of the time, seeing how she was the Evil Stepmother in this Cinderella story, even if at times it felt like Dae Ho could toe the line if he wanted to, but firmly staying a "white swan". Still, by the end of the last episode one could argue that he did end up crossing that line, stealing Kyung's credit and following every single agency order, even if apparently he felt bad about it.

The same way Carol's arc in S1 followed themes of letting go and accepting and embracing herself fully through her friends, Dae Ho doesn't have that through the season at all. It's almost the contrary, almost accepting himself as a tool to others and losing himself in the process, so S2 could explore how broken and barely holding on he is and how he needs to break down the pieces to rebuild himself better and more loyal to himself and those he loves in a harsh, injust world.

Honestly, there's A LOT that could be said about Dae Ho and his development through the season and what it could mean for him going forward, but because the group has to stay together and working successfully in order for them not to get evicted and losing the portal, they have to resolve it internally and quietly (their manager is probably gonna make things incredibly more difficult). Therefore, I expect and lot of Mok and Chul hijinks to cover up whatever's going on.

Kyung doesn't care about being the leader or about recognition (his credit is his tho, even if he doesn't care as much as he would have once), but Dae Ho lost his trust even after they both closed the portal together. I'm very, very interested in seeing how they decide to explore their life-long friendship and their possible reconciliation.

I hope there's a conversation about how Chul and Mok weren't told about the closing of the portal, but I'm not holding my breath.

Ok! I honestly have a lot more thoughts that I initially believed, but I needed to get them out of my system!

[bulgariansumo]

Back at it again, editing Episode 1 of Galactiquest. Version 3.0 patch notes:

-Removed all unnecessary epithets (Hopefully. I found one instance of brunet that I thought I deleted the last time around)

-Toned down the amount of exclamation points

-I think I slightly pared down a scene in Chapter 4? But I added a new one over it, so that probably cancels out

-Gave other characters a little more dialogue, especially Leon

-Changed descriptions around to be more concise, less repetitive, and less verbose (For these being Leon's chapters, I got weirdly fancy with some of the prose)

-New scene 1: In Chapter 1, a girl talks to Leon while he's waiting in the spaceport, eventually leading to him realizing he's late. This finally gave me a chance to explain why the Interstellar Forces is called that and set up that it is struggling somewhat. I think this also the first time I've gotten to mention that the IF was banned from having weapons.

-New scene 2: In Chapter 4, Jun questions why the IF would let such an inexperienced group go to Neptune (in nicer wording, but still). It sets the tone for the trip in a way that was lacking before.

As much as it stung to realize those chapters were a little rougher than I thought, I'm glad I did this. It's not a complete overhaul, but it brought the quality a little closer to my current stuff. I'm grateful some people were still able enjoy them despite rough edges.

In the times that I've asked for feedback, a few people mentioned Chapters 3 and 4 being a bit of a slog. I... did not trim them down as much as I intended. Every time I tried, it went something like this:

Hopefully, adding that section to Chapter 4 will help it feel a little more worthwhile. That being said, if I'm compelled to edit again, I know there's a few scenes in Chapter 4 that probably should go.

For people who want to see the new scenes without reading the whole episode again, I'll post them down below. If you do want to read the full thing, here's a link.

---

New Scene 1 [Bon Voyage, Celestion-5] Ch 1. Boarding for Takeoff

A monitor nearby played an informational video about Earth’s one and only moon colony: Lunaria, the city of his dreams. Though so far away, he felt like it lay within his grasp for the first time. What choice did he have but to be captivated by it?

“Are you heading to your first deployment?” The girl a few seats over might as well have appeared from thin air.

“Hm? How’d you know?” He shook his head out of a daze. Only now did he realize his mouth had been hanging open for who knew how long.

“You seemed pretty enthralled by that video for a star ranger.”

“Oh yeah. Some nights, I spent so long looking at the dome through my telescope, I’d dream about it.” He sighed. “Even now, I can almost breathe that artificial air.”

“I’ve heard it’s cool. My aunt’s paying my way. I bet you’re glad you don’t have to pay those ticket prices either, huh?” She had a pretty laugh.

“Gosh, I thought I’d have to spend my life savings just for a visit. Thank goodness for the IF.”

“You know,” she tilted her head, “I’ve always wondered, why’s it called the Interstellar Forces when we haven’t gone past Mars yet?”

“We’re supposed to dream big now and grow into it later. It worked for me, so…!” he ended with a shrug. “And who knows,” he knew, “we might be going past Mars soon.”

“That’s cute. Sorry about the budget cuts, though. No more weapons, I get, but you guys don’t even have your own ships anymore? They’re just deploying you with us civilians?”

“My ship’s kind of a special case.” Out of curiosity he decided to check his phone. “But I guess it wouldn’t hurt to che–”

His eyes widened in horror at what time it displayed. It was 25 minutes past when he should have boarded.

“Is something wrong?” asked the girl.

“Sorry, I gotta go.” He gathered his bags and hurried over to the receptionist. “Excuse me. This is the boarding area for the Celestion ships, right?” Maybe everyone else was just late. “I was supposed to be boarding a ship 25 minutes ago.”

“Oh, no sir. Are you with the Interstellar Forces? All military spacecraft are located on the opposite end.” The receptionist motioned directly behind him.

“Thank you, thank you so much,” He shook the receptionist’s hand vigorously. “Seriously, my career is in your hands. And yours too,” he sped past the girl, “have a nice trip, bye!”

New Scene 2 [Bon Voyage, Celestion-5] Ch 4. Tour's End

“Quick question.” The oddly familiar one smoothed dark, wavy bangs out of her face… or his face? Leon couldn’t tell at this angle. The androgynous voice didn’t help. “The Celestion crews were chosen by chance, yeah?”

“There’s a coupla exceptions as you’re no doubt aware,” Emil winked, “not to mention the captains, but yeah, most of us are random picks.”

“Right, cool. So, like, not to harsh the vibes, but I noticed that none of us except you and the captain are ranked higher than rangers.”

“I almost ascended to corporal~” Allen spoke up.

“I know, Rox.” The familiar one addressed Emil again. “I dunno, I kinda assumed we’d get stationed on each ship based on our experience and ability level.”

That did surprise Leon when he first heard about the opportunity. Described by his old warrant officer as ‘remarkably average in all abilities,’ he never dreamed he’d be offered the chance to go to Neptune. No one from his base deployed to space in years. He hadn’t even earned the star on his uniform yet. No way would he let such good luck pass him by.

“Huh,” Emil pinched one of his curls, “that does make sense.”

A click from the ceiling brought with it Captain Galhardo’s voice. “Randomized crews are a key element of the Celestion Project. Though each captain, including myself, went through a series of tests to ensure our capability.”

“Well, there you have it. Besides, as long as my brother’s piloting, we’ll make it back a-ok. Nothin’ to worry about.” In only a few strides, Emil made his way to the cooking area. “Over here we have a microwave, an oven, dishes, other kitchen-y stuff–Oooh, guys, I gotta show you something!”

He stuck his arm over the stove, to the confusion of Leon and most of the others, and to their horror, turned it on.

[moviemunchies]

[Doing another TV show review. This one can be found on Roku.]

Over a decade ago, the Sci-Fi Channel/SyFy was known for two things: terrible original monster movies, and great original television shows that it canceled too soon. Alphas was the first SyFy original series that I watched, so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

I was fairly impressed by it.

Alphas takes place in a world (perhaps the same world as Eureka and Warehouse 13) in which certain individuals, dubbed “alphas”, have enhanced physical or mental abilities–superpowers. Ordinary human psychologist Dr. Lee Rosen (played by David Strathairn) leads a government-funded team of alphas to investigate criminal cases involving alphas, especially regarding a secret activist group called Red Flag. Along the way, the team has to cope with their own problems–after all, each power comes with a physical or mental drawback.

This show came out about a year after the NBC series Heroes, I think? Do you remember Heroes? It was a show that everyone went nuts for even though I don’t know of anyone who has much positive to say about it after the first season (it also got hit by the Writers’ Strike in its run, so maybe not its fault). Alphas got a lot of comparison to Heroes. It had a much lower budget, but I think that it works in the show’s favor? It’s aiming for a more grounded attempt at superhero fiction, after all.

I do not want to call the superpowers in this show “realistic”; some of them are quite ridiculous! But they’re generally smaller in scale and the show works to create explanations that sound somewhat plausible. There’s an alpha who doesn’t turn invisible, as much as walk in people’s blindspots. There’s an alpha who can shapeshift, but he has to study his subject extensively before transformations. 

Leaning into that: a fascinating aspect of the powers in the show was that each one came with a disadvantage. Some of these are physical; on the team, for instance, Bill has enhanced strength that kicks in with his body’s fight-or-flight response. The problem is that his body can’t handle going through that for extended periods of time. Sometimes (and seemingly more often) the side effects are psychological; Nina, whose power is temporarily being able to mind control people, has significant trust issues and a tendency to use her ability for petty tasks like getting out of speeding tickets.

This adds a dimension to the powers–it helps build these characters, so that their powers don’t feel as if they’re just tacked on. The psychological aspects help the characters feel more grounded, as it questions how people would act if they had these powers, and the physical limitations puts boundaries on what the characters are capable of. There’s nothing as gaudy as time travel or throwing bolts of lightning here.

The main conflict of the series is between the government and the group Red Flag. It’s pointed out more than once that alphas have every reason to be antagonistic towards the US government, given its tendency to exploit and imprison alphas whenever they want. Many in Red Flag have sympathetic motivations and backstories, making the heroes wonder at times if they should really be fighting them at all.

If you decide to get invested in this series (which maybe you should, as it’s pretty good), you should be aware that it only lasted two thirteen-episode seasons, and it ends on a cliffhanger. Not one of those, “Oh, what happens next?” cliffhangers, a full-on, “Everything is screwed!” cliffhanger, that makes you think there must have been a really good plan for what happens next. That doesn’t change that the show is good, but you might end up deciding that it wasn’t worth getting worked up over a story that’s clearly unfinished.

But overall, Alphas is good. It’s really good. If you’re into superhero fiction, but won’t mind the lack of costumes or secret identities, this could be a good show to try. Or if you’re just interested in science-fiction series, it’d be worth giving Alphas a try.

[apex-academy]

Chapter 6: The Decay of Our Lives (#12)

I make my rounds from task to task all evening, and Aidan has to remind me to sit down for a minute at some point. Even so, I’m pretty exhausted by the time 9:00 hits. At least the bedsheet “screen” seems to be holding up despite Ichiriki’s best efforts to not perform his task.

Despite our event being a movie, there’s no popcorn this time—trying not to think too hard about who made the last batches—just some fruit, veggies, and a nacho bar that no one with an appreciation of symmetry could stand if all the lights were still on. 

There were only so many matching containers in the kitchen, okay?

There’s also a big jug of hand sanitizer, in case anyone doesn’t want to take five more steps to go wash their hands in their dorm bathroom. Or someone else’s. Most of us are set up with chairs at our own doorways, but Kanagi’s apparently crashed Ichiriki’s to be a little closer to the screen. Tsunyasha’s room is even farther, but I think she’s more interested in watching the rest of us than the movie, anyway. Not sure what she’s got against the silver screen, but as long as she’s not stirring up trouble, I can’t complain.

Aidan and I ended up with front-row tickets, so he doesn’t have much issue getting people’s attention as he prepares to start the movie.

“It is now 9:00 PM, and our feature film will be beginning shortly!”

“First, I do want to thank everyone for coming, and for your cooperation in getting everything set up!”

“Should you need to take a break or start to nod off—well, your rooms are right there, nehe.”

“But, as far as what you can stand, I’m confident we can all enjoy this event if we only allow ourselves to.” 

“So, grab some food while we’ve still got it, and we’ll get this thing off the ground, shall we?”

Kanagi cheers, while Tsunyasha almost seems to consider a sporting and/or sarcastic clap before focusing on her food instead. Mahavir remains a few awkward paces back from his doorway, like he’s unsure if he’s supposed to have his door closed for this. Don’t think that’d be a great way to see the movie, though.

“Just allow ourselves to enjoy things, huh.”

I side-eye Ichiriki, but he’s busy... filing his nails? Sure, why not. Makes it easier on the rest of us if his concentration’s elsewhere.

At least, until he gets bored in a few minutes and starts complaining again.

Aidan whoops back, then makes sure he and his poof of hair are out of everyone’s way before hitting play. Despite a few ripples in the bedsheet Ichiriki put up, the picture and audio seem to be working just fine. Aidan’s chosen video opens with an airplane moving through the clouds.

How shocking.

I’m probably paying more attention to my food than the movie as it leads us into an airport. Not like things have gotten good yet. Just... a little weird.

We manage to make it a few jokes(?) in before Kanagi cackles loud enough to overcome the soundtrack.

“Did...”

“Did you actually get that pun? I wasn’t sure how well these would go with a Japanese audience.”

“Pff, nah, I totally don’t get it at all! I can just tell it’s funny, dude.”

“...Good enough!”

With that, we’re back to actually being able to hear the movie. It’s really not getting any less absurd. All right.

“........”

“This is SO unrealistic.”

Ah, there he goes. I check over my shoulder, but so far Ichiriki doesn’t seem to be up to any crimes besides eating nachos with a fork and knife.

We didn’t even bring silverware over? Why is...

I’m not gonna worry about it. It’s Ichiriki. If it fits whatever his thing is now, he’ll find a way.

“It most certainly is!"

“Like, why would you want it to be real crap? We already get that with, like...”

“...real crap.”

“But surely any departures from your sad, limited reality should be more glorious than this?”

“Tales of heroes, rather than...”

She shakes her head with an unenthusiastic gesture at the screen. I’m not sure what we missed there, but there sure are babies being thrown now. Amazing. This thing keeps oscillating between slapstick gags and extended-setup puns, and it’s hard to know what I should be paying attention to. Is there a plot?

“Not exactly as intellectual as I would have expected.”

“Hey now, some of those setups are quite clever!”

He makes a passing attempt to scoot towards me before deciding it’s too much effort. The gesture’s been made.

He lifts a hand near his mouth for his best stage whisper.

“And you know what? You’re allowed to laugh at stupid jokes, too.”

He mimes an elbow nudge that is both too far away and on the wrong side to actually reach me. Work with what he’s got, I guess.

“Thanks for the permission.”

“You’re very welcome! Use it well.”

“.........”

And back to the train wreck—plane wreck?—that is this movie. I guess it’s not terrible, just... Is there a plot yet?

We finally make it from the airport onto a plane when the camera focuses on some overhead service button labels. Simple enough English, just above something that is clearly not actual Spanish. The screen flicks back to the actual characters.

“Hey! HOW am I supposed to read a FOREIGN LANGUAGE that fast?!”

“Special training?”

“Oh no are we supposed to be reading.”

You... are at least reading the actual subtitles, right? Right?

“Well, we CERTAINLY aren’t if THAT’S all the time they’ll give us! UNBELIEVABLE!”

“Now, who’s this ‘they’ to whom you’re referring? Because...”

He pauses the movie—on a frame of a character looking even more nervous with the motion blur—and rewinds.

“...we have the technology to take as long as we need.”

He pauses on the text in question. The dorm hallway is infinitely quieter for a few moments.

“I STILL can’t read it! What GIVES?!”

“Yo, my name’s Ich, I’m 19 years old, and I never learned how to frickin’ read.”

“That fool is nineteen?”

“NO!!!”

Why is this happening.

“Er...”

A quiet but rough throat-clearing.

“If it’s of any assistance, I don’t believe that’s intended to be a faithful translation into... any existing language whatsoever.”

“So they MADE IT UP? Just for ONE movie? Who DOES that?!”

“That isn’t... precisely what I...”

“Oh, there’s a sequel, don’t worry!”

“I’m classifying that as a threat.”

“As you well should.”

Before this can devolve any further—I don’t know how it could, but with this team, anything is possible—he hits play again. Back to airplanes and flashbacks and whiplash every which way, with the whole bizarro tone being the only thing holding somewhat steady.

But none of us get up to leave. At least some people end up laughing from joke to joke—mostly Kanagi, but she’s been having a rough time of it. It’s nice to hear her back to normal.

Back to weird?

Anyway. It’s just a night of snorts and snickers, random interruptions that can’t take much away from a random movie, and general split attention between subtitles and congealing nacho cheese. I never burst out laughing, whether Aidan’s horribly disappointed in me or not, but a few moments catch me off-guard enough to get a good snort. 

By the time the movie ends, Aidan and Mahavir have already retreated into their dorms to various degrees in case they pass out, which they do. Ichiriki has successfully kicked Kanagi out of his own room by virtue of shutting the door behind him when she went to grab a refill. She just booed at him and went to try Tsunyasha’s instead. 

I wander back to the refreshments table and try not to pass out myself as the menu screen loops. I should probably turn that off, or something. Not sure I care enough.

“.....”

I’m tired. Not because it’s what-even-o-clock now, though that sure isn’t helping. There’s just too much to worry about. One bizarre lighthearted movie night isn’t going to fix that.

“But it wasn’t a bad break.”

[BACK] [NEXT]

[islaytonlost]

The Jigsaw Museum Part 1

This is being crossposted to a03 if you prefer to read on ther but I'll update both platforms at roughly the same time.

Part 2

------------

Fendi stares at the envelope in his hands, the garish red puzzles bordered the pink background. It was an eyesore to say the least. An eyesore he would only be expecting to be holding if he’d found it on the scene of some crime not posted through his letterbox, without a stamp, without anything to identify it but his name.

“Dear Detective Layton and his assistant,

You are formally invited to the grand opening of the Jigsaw Museum. As one of the leading detectives on the case and the detective that figured the whole case out, we’d be delighted if you could grace us with your appearance.

The museum was curated to honour those who were lost by the puzzle murders, to commemorate them and so that the general public can understand that these deaths were not in vain but each one lead the famous detective Layton to the killer. Then, at the end of the experience we commemorate the final case, the one was Alfendi Layton proves himself innocent for the crime he accused himself of a few years prior.

Doors open at 18:00 the Sunday coming up. Tickets for opening are £50 but of course you go free as a VIP. The museum curator would love to talk to you one on one.

Regards, The Jigsaw Museum

The letter was garishly perfumed, as if to make up for the fact it was black ink on white paper, as if this too had to be garish. The puzzle they sent him was bad enough, poorly phrased and lacking a certain understanding of what a puzzle should be. Hershel had always taught him about this and that alone put him in a bad mood. So did the fact they seemed to have forgotten Lucy unless you counted the first line, where they seemed to have forgotten her name.

Nothing about this was right. At all.

No shit. We have to go there. Al advises, Fendi doesn’t bother answering, too busy focused on the puzzle. Maybe it was poorly phrased or maybe he was just rusty, but he couldn’t seem to get it. Oh really, you really can’t do it? I thought you were meant to be as smart as me. Al taunts, not exactly meanly. He didn’t seem to be able to communicate any other way. He was making an effort though, which was usually nice but also, at this particular time, was really frustrating as now he was so frustrated, he couldn’t solve the puzzle.

Puzzles are stupid. I can solve a murder in just a few minutes, how is this useful?” laughing echoes. You know the answer don’t you? Smug silence. Okay please, please tell me.

The hesitation was actually worrying, Promise you won’t freak out? Fendi just glares at the puzzle, pencilling out prospective answers, it doesn’t matter. Just try not to freak out too much. The puzzle is an address and it leads to Forbodium Castle.

The world sort of blanked out then. Al taking charge and Fendi finding himself in the backseat, once again, Okay, so you know we can’t go back there, nothing good ever happens there.

I didn’t realise you were superstitious like you are, the location means nothing. It; just to commemorate Lucy’s biggest accomplishment yet! Clearing us of murder.

I just don’t want anyone getting hurt, again! You remember the whole reason we can even talk now, and you know our chest hurts whenever it’s cold because we got fucking shot and could have gone the same way last time we were there. Lucy almost went the same way! Hilda could have died and thank god for Lucy. We should be DEAD…

Well, they’ll probably commemorate her! Why else would they have avoided her name? How else? Anyone who’s spent two minutes researching that case would know she’s associated with us!

Liar.

You can’t stop me, well, maybe you can but you shouldn’t. This is big, we need to know what’s happening, what people are saying about us, and Lucy. If they somehow don’t mention her, we can make sure she gets credit. Now, I’m going to go tell her.

There’s an 78% chance that this will go wrong.

---

Breaking the news to Lucy went perfectly fine, she was her usual; chipper self and things hadn’t been busy. The rest of the force actually being competent for once (and also, extremely busy. Something both Alfendi and Lucy were avoiding for fear of being put on something that involved talking to people who weren’t suspects.

After hearing the news Lucy considers a moment pretending to be reading an old case file, a file she hadn’t read before they solved that particular case, “So it’s a museum about your cases? And you’re the VIP?”

“Yes, mostly, but it’ll feature our cases, the jigsaw killings you helped solve! What idiot wouldn’t want to see their name in lights. They may not have specified that they’re including you, but your name is on the invite and who couldn’t include you!” he was twisting the truth slightly but they had at least mentioned her. It wasn’t a lie that Lucy would really get hurt over.

You should at least let her know what she’s getting into. Fendi yells, hearing Al’s thoughts, Al ignores him. He did that a lot when they were talking to other people.

“I don’t know Prof… It sounds kind of, intrusive.” She bats the page she’s been looking at back and forth giving up even the pretence of reading. She wasn’t looking directly at Al either, pretending like she didn’t care as much about this as she did.

“Lucy, I know you’ve been reading news reports about my father, you’ve been using the news to spy on my family for a while but Hershel has never had a museum built in his name!” Al moves his hand out in a flourish, as if underlining his illuminated name. Lucy smiles slightly.

That’s why you want to go?

“Actually…” the doubt and the worry was clear to see but she didn’t get a chance to finish that sentence as Al continues, ignoring Fendi’s next statement.

And it’s the KILLER’S name in lights. And you call me the idiot Fendi mutters.

“And we’ll be guests of honour, well I am but I won’t let you leave my side, you are after all the Watson to my Holmes.” That got her going, Lucy finally looks at Alfendi in mock anger.

“Oi! I’ve solved plenty without you. I’ve outsmarted you too!” she had, solving the Forbodium case and apparently hiding case files in places so he’d go home and rest. Another way she managed to outsmart him. It really wasn’t so fair of Barton to pick someone who could show him up so much.

“Indeed, you have, and yet I am still your superior!”

“Equal!”

“Superior!”

Their bickering continued for a while, like a long while before. An actual case was deposited on Lucy’s desk and the matter was resolved by Lucy agreeing to go as long as she got to head this case.

---

“So I’ve been told about this museum about the Jigsaw killings,” Barton sighs, leaning back in his chair, the leaflet on his desk.

“Oh -ACHOO- no,” Florence grabs it, “he does not need a bigger ego, y- -ACH00- you know last week he would not shut up about this mistake I made.”

“It’s not that I’m most concerned about, I’m told someone has been interviewing Justin.”

“You do- don- -ACHOO- don’t think… Oh he’s going to lose it. It’ll be a shitshow!”

“or a bloodbath,” Barton sighs, “so you need to go.”

“Why -ACHOO- me?”

“Alfendi is quite…”

“Aggressive?” Florence offers, “angry with occasionally violent tendencies?” she raises an eyebrow.

“Quiet. So, as his friend he’ll be less of… that, towards you.”

“Oh, so I have to deal with his explosive temper!” she glares at him “-ACHOO-, no, I’m not taking this heat, you do it!”

Barton sighs, “I can’t risk being recognised, please.”

Florence pockets the leaflet, glaring at Barton. He raises an eyebrow, and she sighs nodding, “fine, I’ll babysit your favourite detective and when he catches me you’ll owe me, big time.”

[jodilin65]

THURSDAY, AUGUST 24, 2000 Things are looking shittier and shittier by the minute and my chances of doing jail time just went up, too. Tom and Paul tell me jail doesn’t look too probable, but that’s what they told me about other things, but once again, I beat the odds. When the odds are in a negative way, I can beat them and I usually do. The more unlikely they are, I’ll beat ‘em. The DA consolidated the cases so that if I went to trial and lost, I’d automatically have to go to prison for 3 years which would end up being about 1½ years. I’ve been backed into a corner and forced to plead guilty if I want to stand a chance of beating jail. As soon as Paul, who again I’ll say works for the state, went to the DA and said I wouldn’t plead guilty, the DA was then like, well if that’s the way she’s gonna be about it, I’ll give her no choice if she wants to escape prison. It’s a power thing, and they live to give ultimatums so they can open and shut cases and save the courts a lot of time and money by avoiding trials, but jail time is going to cost even more money.

They have way more evidence than I realized. Yes, they can prove I mailed those things. See, writing something down that’s either directly or indirectly threatening is a misdemeanor. Mail it and it’s a felony. Paul told me they’ve got me on tape saying, “Did you get the letters” (meaning the journals)? which I completely forgot about and I doubt he’s bluffing me. How utterly stupid of me to even think I could do what I did and not get caught and have to go to court. How utterly stupid of me for thinking for a millisecond that that black pig wasn’t lying to me, just like other pigs have lied to me and just like pigs are known for. They’re all nothing but lying little bullies high on power-play. How could I have been so fucking stupid!!! Did I really think God himself would suddenly let me get away with this? Please!

So now I have to plead guilty, watch them get off scot-free from any of their wrongdoings and their part in this and hope to hell I don’t have to go to jail for 6 months to a year. Even if I didn’t have to go to jail, I’m still 100% sure to be swamped with 3 years of probation, counseling and community service. I’m just so sick of other people telling me what I have to do and I’m so sick of being controlled! I know I’m going to be bribed into taking drugs as a way to cope with my anger. I’m not going to have any more rights or any more say in what goes into my body and how I deal with my problems than I did as a kid. I know they’ll make it a condition of the probation that I take whatever drugs they want to give me to numb my emotions so I can’t feel and express them in the way that a person should be allowed to. Then after I’ve dealt with all the side effects and am finally allowed to have a say when it comes to my body and am allowed off the drugs, I can freak out at having to learn to cope with feeling things I wasn’t able to feel on the drugs. Then again, no staff members are reigning over this house to check my mouth to make sure I’ve swallowed the drugs, but wouldn’t they do regular blood tests to make sure I’m taking the shit? I would think so. So, once again, Jodi will have no choice when it comes to her life and body, but others can do what they want.

Speaking of drugs, I had a sneezing fit start a couple of nights ago, took the Allegra, and it did stop the attack, but was it a coincidence? It’s too soon to tell. If it stops a couple more attacks, then yes, I can say the stuff does help.

Anyway, Paul called today and he called Tom at work and talked to him, too. He said that if I pled guilty and had successful probation, it’d be reduced to a misdemeanor no more serious than a traffic ticket. Well, probation and counseling are certainly better than jail or prison, but I’d really like to just drop it for once and for all and just move on and just get on with life. But that’s the big question. Now that I’ve owned up to my part in this, admitted what I did wrong, and know I won’t contact these people again in any way, when can I? When can I get on with my life and finally, after 4 years, put these people in the past for good where they belong? Huh? When? The end of this, if it ever ends, will be years to come. Meanwhile, I plan on beating the odds yet again and end up having to go to jail. Therefore, I’m going to try to make as many preparations as I can. I’m going to cut my hair off, for one, so that’s one less thing I have to deal with in jail. It may not be really long anymore, but it’s still way too thick. I’m also going to write a lot more, cuz I won’t be able to in jail. I know I’ll get one of those unusual and or real hard-ass judges who’ll throw the book at me. Any jail time I do, though, will be deducted from my probation and any other crap they throw at me.

I’m going back and forth between thinking: If they had just shut up and left us alone, I wouldn’t be in this situation today, and I wouldn’t have ended up mailing the mail and making the calls, as wrong as I admit and know it was, and thinking: If I had only been more tolerable to their noise, I wouldn’t be in this mess…but I am. Always with them, always with me. They have been a part of my life, they are a part of my life, and they always will be a part of my life because I will always have the memories. Since blaming them only pisses me off, which doesn’t help me at all, I guess it’s easier to resort to self-blame and say that I was just as wrong for the legal things I did as well as the illegal things; asking them to turn their music down, sending the city letters. It was wrong in God’s eyes, and if God thinks it’s wrong, it doesn’t matter if it’s illegal or not – it’s wrong. Period. He wanted me to listen to them, I tried to fight it, reacted about it, and even if the courts didn’t punish me, God will, not that I don’t feel I’ve been punished enough over this with just the stress alone that it’s caused. I went against him. I rebelled against the hand he dealt me. Yes, perhaps I wasn’t the victim after all, but the victimizer.

If there is a group of people I truly am done with and that is in the past, it’s Tammy, her parents, her brother, her kids and her ex. But am I? Or am I going to get hit with a subpoena in 6 months to a year? Or even in 5 or 10 years? Maybe the damn thing will come tomorrow!

Life isn’t about equal rights and fairness. Life isn’t about being able to get away with wronging those who got away with wronging you. Life is about taking other people’s shit and accepting life’s unfairness.

[dragonmasterhiccup]

“Mm, that’s good, and… completely understandable, she’s probably starting to lose her mind.”

Danny chuckled lightly. “Okay, you’re right, she is a pretty cute baby, but she looks more like Astrid, well her eyes at least,” she said, shrugging.

She burst out laughing. “Being a dad is literally a one way ticket to being called old! It’s over for you Hiccup! I’ll be preparing your send off boat and my speech to go with it; “Hiccup was pretty basic; an okay brother and a decent husband and father,” how does that sound?”

She smirked. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll get her to call you ‘old man.’”

“Hiccup, be so for real right now, she probably doesn’t even know that she’s alive, she hasn’t even gained her consciousness yet.”

“Um, it’s been pretty good, actually. As far as I know, everything’s going smoothly. Gobber did teach me how to make a saddle, and some other tools; swords, axes, all that. But yeah, it’s good. See? Just because you take some time off doesn’t mean everything is going to fall apart,” she teased.

Looking at Hiccup and Zephyr, she thought for a moment, debating on whether or not she should ask her question. In the end, she decided it’d be okay, the worst he could say was no, right? “Hey, so uh… do you think I might be able to hold her? I totally get it if you don’t want me to! I was just, I was just asking, is all,” she said, her voice a slight bit nervous.

While yes, the worst he could say was no, that ‘no’ could potentially mean that he didn’t trust her with his daughter, and that would be more than a little upsetting. Though it could also just mean that he didn’t want to let her go, which come on, why would he?

He nodded solemnly. "She was, I think today will help her a lot, especially since I have to get back to being Chief again soon."

Grinning, he looked down at Zephyr again. "She really does! Although, she does have my hair."

Hiccup laughed as well. "In that case, I guess it really is over for me, huh? Well, hopefully I have a few good years left in me, then, right?" Shaking his head, he sighed. "No, there won't be any send off for me anytime soon, not if I can help it."

Comically covering his daughter's ears, he playfully glared at Danny. "Ah, no, you will do no such thing!"

"Zeph is conscious enough to know who Astrid and I are, and that's enough for me."

Raising his eyebrows, he asked, "Wow, axes and swords? I'll have to stop by, see your handiwork. I have to thank you for your help these last couple months, with flying Toothless and helping Gobber. I really appreciate it."

Zephyr was perfectly content, watching Hiccup as he talked with Danny.

At Danny's question, a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he nodded, standing up and bringing Zephyr over.

"Just make sure to support her head."

Gently lowering his daughter into his sister's arms, he made sure Zeph was comfortable and Danny was okay before he sat back down.