#just hot DAMN | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lovelyirony · 5 years ago

Note

I just came here to say, can you imagine after endgame Sharon finds Nat's white suit in her belongings and decides to wear it and make it her own as a reminder of what she lost and what is left to fight for?

When Sharon Carter first came to SHIELD, she wanted to be just like the other agents.

And yet that was hard for her. It was hard to act like every other agent because she wasn’t like the other agents and they knew it.

She had someone in the organization before her. That’s why she was Agent 13. There were always members of family, but it was usually only the agents that either posed an individual danger or a family danger that got the number.

In the first two weeks, the rookies had figured out that Sharon and Peggy shared the same harsh gaze when they were frustrated.

They scorned her, leaving her to fend for herself.

“You got in because of Carter,” they sneer. “I’d rather have someone who actually earned their spot.”

“Even if that did happen, do you think my aunt would’ve let me into this profession if I wasn’t as skilled as you?” Sharon fires back. “I can finish this mission in twenty minutes on my own if I really wanted to.”

“Then do it,” Agent Riker bites, smirking. “Go ahead and prove yourself, Thirteen.”

Nineteen minutes and twenty-two seconds.

And she does it all in a white t-shirt and jeans, the worst outfit that could’ve been.

“So what, you’ve proved yourself,” they shrug. “Doesn’t make a difference to us.”

So Sharon scraps the idea of having people who are friends at work, friends that she can talk to and go to the bar with after work.

And then she does perhaps the ballsiest move.

She orders a custom white jumpsuit.

The SHIELD tailor laughs. He’s an old man who goes by the name Joe.

“You’re crazy,” he tells her, sweeping a measuring tape across her shoulders. “Maybe they need a little crazy.”

Sharon nods, looking at herself in the mirror.

She shows up to work in white, ponytail out of the way.

Fury gives her a look.

“Really, Thirteen?”

“Everyone’s already criticizing,” Sharon answers. “Why not get some for the suit as well?”

White really is her color. It’s what she’s known for, and a lot of agents still criticize her for it.

“You trying to show off even more?” one sneers.

“Why would I have to after your last mission?” Sharon answers sweetly. “It’s clear to me that you obviously need more tips on how to be inconspicuous.”

It’s bitchy. She knows that. But she also can’t be bothered to give a shit if they’re judging her by family and not by skill.

And then Black Widow.

Natasha Romanoff takes one look her and scoffs.

“Got something to say?” Sharon asks.

“I don’t get the white suit.”

“You will,” Sharon responds. “Just wait.”

Romanoff hears the rumors. Sharon Carter only got into the organization because of her connection to her great-aunt.

“You really think SHIELD would be that stupid?” She asks Agent Riker. “To hire an agent off a basis of family? I thought they hired people smarter than you.”

Sharon’s surprised.

She also makes her first friend.

Natasha Romanoff is deadly, has horrible humor, and wears fun socks after Sharon takes her to get some color in her wardrobe.

“You cannot tell anyone,” Nat makes her swear.

“Who is there to tell?” Sharon asks, grinning. “Besides Clint.”

“Clint doesn’t count, I’m not even sure if he’s human. He ate a paper plate because he was too tired to differentiate it from the pizza in the fridge.”

“I love that man,” Sharon deadpans. “I think if I ever dated men, he would be my type.”

Natasha laughs.

They’re friends. Sharon’s there with coffee in the rough mornings and Natasha is there with words that have lost their edge as she sheds her reputation at the door.

The Avengers is a new thing for Natasha. She loves it because she tells Sharon that it makes her feel like she finally has a family and she’s doing something that’s worthy.

Sharon ignores the jealousy and envy and sadness burning in her gut as she takes a sip of her wine glass and asks Natasha how it is working with Captain America.

(She knows who he is. She’s always known. But that kind of connection is one that she’s not sure she’ll ever flaunt because Steve does not know that she knows Steve.)

Natasha gets more involved with the Avengers and still texts Sharon, but she knows. This friendship is fading and Sharon turns back to a white jumpsuit lying on the couch when she gets home and gets out of her shower.

Natasha can’t make it to lunch. Or dinner. And their shopping trip gets cancelled by an Avengers mission.

Then Sharon loses SHIELD, which in some cases was everything to her. It’s the last connection to family, to a place where Sharon did what she did best: her job.

And now it’s razed to the ground and the Avengers are still there and Natasha--

She has her hands full.

Sharon bitterly looks up at the sky to see the Iron Man armor and for a brief moment, hates the team that has taken her friend from her.

But Sharon has shit to do. She has to decide if she wants to work for the FBI or CIA, and which one can offer her more security.

CIA agents don’t give a singular shit if she came from SHIELD or what her last name means. They’re mostly concerned with making sure that the Congress and the Senate don’t fuck everything up and that they catch whoever the hell is eating all of the leftovers on the third floor fridge.

Sharon gets paid for this. Real, actual money.

And they know that she’s good and they send her on protection missions and she misses Natasha’s calls and she doesn’t feel quite bad about it.

It’s when she’s assigned to survey Germany because some idiot used facial recognition software and Steve’s making boneheaded decisions that she reconnects with Natasha.

“Your hair got longer,” Natasha says.

“Nice of you to notice,” Sharon says tersely. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re about to be in? You won’t be able to go anywhere.”

“Anywhere, really?” Natasha asks, amused. “I’m sure I can think of someone who would welcome me back with open arms.”

“Clint doesn’t count,” Sharon fires back.

“Not who I meant.”

“I know exactly what you meant,” Sharon says. “No calling, no plans, all of it cancelled. You’re a family kind of girl, Nat.”

“You’re part of it.”

Sharon turns, incredulous. “Really. You’re doing this now?”

Sharon knows Natasha like she knows her apartment. She could walk it with her eyes closed. And she knows that Natasha is never this open, not in public.

“Either you’ve changed how you approach your emotions or you’ve gotten sloppy in how you manipulate people,” Sharon says, casual as can be. “I know that you want to go against this. I understand that because chances are later on down the road this will blow up in your face.”

“And now you’re going to pretend like you didn’t slip that file to Steve?” Natasha accuses.

“I slipped it to Steve because as much as I don’t like this, I don’t want an innocent man to die,” Sharon hisses.

She has her white jumpsuit. But she hangs it up in her closet because for something like what they’re planning, she can’t afford to be in white. This isn’t like the twenty minute missions.

And then it gets more serious and she’s fighting like hell against Thanos and his aliens and the fact that everyone is gone.

But not Natasha. Not she’s still on this earth and Sharon knows it kills her because she’s never thought she was enough for that.

They make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and sit on the floor in a sunroom. It’s a beautiful day, probably one too beautiful for how many memories they both hold.

“I don’t know if it’ll be okay,” Natasha says. Her voice is thick with unsaid and unheard emotion, and Sharon pulls her into a hug.

“It might not be,” Sharon says quietly. “But we’ll have to keep going anyway.”

So Sharon is introduced to Steve, the guy with a beard who still keeps fighting and looks at Sharon as if he’s expecting someone else. (She pretends like she doesn’t know what he’s doing.)

She starts looking at sightings and patterns and helps people who she’s never met help keep the world safe.

Natasha and Sharon tell stories to each other of people they’ve known. Sharon listens as she grieves and Natasha finds out that Sharon’s own family has been gone.

They spend Christmas together and Christmas kind of sucks right now because everyone is crying and the only thing that’s sold out at stores are tissues.

Sharon wonders if Tony got dusted. No one knows. He was up in space and they haven’t found him yet and she can’t say it doesn’t hurt.

But then. He comes down in his spaceship, Carol Danvers finding him on the verge of death.

He can’t stand the sight of Steve, and Sharon can’t say he blames him. She’s in charge of getting him to in-house care and making sure he doesn’t stray off the nutrition goal.

Pepper and Rhodey sit by his side all the time and they give Sharon looks because she’s Tony’s cousin but not really, not in the sense of a traditional cousin.

She met him that one time when he was probably a little bit buzzed, definitely over having small children look up to him and ask if they can have him play, and probably brushed her off.

Or something.

He’s angry with Steve and tells Sharon right off the bat that he refuses to have anything to do with what’s going on.

“This is my second chance and as shitty as it is for all of you, I’m keeping it,” Tony says firmly.

Sharon says okay because she really can’t blame him.

(Not when six months after he gets back and gets himself better, Pepper announces that she’s expecting.)

Sharon visits often. She brings Pepper her first supply of diapers and formula and Pepper smiles and says she’s welcome for lunch if she’d like.

Natasha doesn’t talk to Tony. Sharon thinks she kind of resents her own position in this whole thing, but Tony nods to her and they understand each other on a level that’s changed.

“Do you think you’ll ever want a family?” Natasha asks one night. They watch the stars and come up with new names for them and sometimes talk about emotions. Like tonight.

“I’m not made for that,” Sharon says. “Work and all.”

“Me either.”

Sharon looks at her.

“No, you are. Because you care so much. You just learned it a little bit differently. You’ll get your family, Nat.”

Natasha gives her that pained smile, the one that holds so much wisdom and hurt in it, and they drink their beers in silence as Sharon contemplates the next mode of questioning that doesn’t have to do with loss or the future. (Possibility: cats.)

And then Scott Lang makes a fucking appearance. They’re not sure how, but he gets out and starts rambling about time travel and they take it to Tony who says “no thank you and goodbye” and Steve tries to get him to help but he won’t.

(It’s bitter in Sharon’s mouth, but it’s the kind of bitter you understand that you can’t spit out.)

Natasha thinks about all the people that are lost.

Sharon asks Scott how well he can do math.

Tony passes along a note, and it seems that Scott gets it, because they’re going to time-travel.

Clint and Natasha leave together, because they’re like two peas in a pod.

“I’ll see you soon,” Natasha says, grinning. Her smile is so nice.

“You better,” Sharon teases. “We still need Margarita Mondays.”

And then Sharon is also gone on a mission to go see her aunt and see Steve witness what he’s lost. Sharon looks at a young picture of her great-uncle.

“She had a good life, didn’t she?” Sharon murmurs. “She got to have somebody she loved and she got to have kids.”

“Yes, yes she did,” Steve says quietly.

It’s heavy for him but he relaxes and they run into Howard Stark, who doesn’t quite understand why Sharon’s there but doesn’t really push it because he’s excited for a new baby.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for that baby,” he says with a gentle smile that’s so fake Sharon can’t believe it.

So she says something. Because she can’t keep her mouth shut.

“You practice that every night in front of the mirror?”

Steve scolds her, but she thinks it’s worth it. She can’t wait to tell Natasha.

Natasha doesn’t come back. She died for a fucking rock and Sharon breaks because that was her friend. That was someone that she would’ve given the world for, and now she won’t get to tell her about her sick one-liner or about how time travel kind of feels like you’re going on a loopy roller coaster.

She’s gone.

But then Sharon can’t focus on it because she has to fight against Thanos who apparently is from a different time zone and has come to destroy everything again, and Sharon really can’t let Tony do his whole “self-sacrifice” shtick he pulls. (Jesus, if he couldn’t have just pulled a Dean Martin maybe they would’ve had televised roasts instead of a universal fight...)

Tony doesn’t die. She doesn’t think he deserves that. But he falls to his knees, the stones fading, and she’s holding him to stabilize him as he falls and his family comes and he gets rushed to the nearest medical facility Dr. Cho can find.

And Sharon is alone.

She doesn’t particularly like being alone in this instance but sometimes you have to be because those are the cards out of the deck.

So she helps relocate families, tells those who were gone the news, and buys herself a pint of ice cream. The news is talking about all these new accommodations and what it’ll do to the price market. She finds that she doesn’t much care and she thinks that all those conversations will be a thing of the past.

And there things to go through. Things from the dead. Clint has his family to focus on, and so it is up to Sharon to get Natasha’s things.

Then she finds it.

A white jumpsuit.

Natasha had called Sharon’s “stupid” for years, with no real explanation to why except for the fact that she would get caught easier.

(“Maybe that’s my intention,” Sharon says, body leaning in too close. “Maybe I want to get noticed so that I can get it done quicker.”

Natasha gives her a dim smile.

“Doesn’t always mean you get the job done as quickly and efficiently as possible.”

And then Sharon didn’t ask her about that. Figured it wasn’t her place.)

A white jumpsuit is something she didn’t know connected them. And she remembers having her own, but this one...this one has to be used. Has to be reinstated because someone needs to carry on who Black Widow is. Or rather, who Natasha Romanoff was.

It’s a slow start. But Sharon starts wearing the white jumpsuit that’s a little bit loose around the shoulders and looks for criminals, because god knows there will be a plethora of those.

Bucky and Sam join her in this. They were both gone and still look stupidly gorgeous, although Sam has the shield because Steve has decided it would be utterly convenient to go on a little time travel trip.

(Sharon’s not sure what’s up with that, but so long as she doesn’t start remembering a Great-Uncle Steve, she’s fine with it.)

It’s hard, definitely. Because sometimes she pulls out her phone to send something to Natasha, and she’s...well. She’s not there.

Sharon will sometimes wear her old jackets with outfits and cry, but she still has the memories.

A cute white jumpsuit can’t hurt either.

#lovelyirony writes #this turned out to be WAY longer than anticipated #just hot damn #sharon carter #natasha romanoff #sam wilson #tony stark #steve rogers #bucky barnes #sharon and nat have difficulties BUT HEY LISTEN #THEY'RE GONNA COME BACK TOGETHER

89 notes · View notes