#just hits so different after jj telling emily: it gave me *you*

[isagrimorie]

Criminal Minds: Evolution 17x08 - Northstar

"Timing, huh?"

[thedoctorisgroovy]

Schooled - Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

» Pairing: Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

» Word count: 1640

» Warnings/Tags: bad relationship with family, unsupportive family, feelings of failure, Spencer being cute and protective.

» A/N: Final chapter of backstory I promise! Thank you for the support on the first two chapters, now that I have an outline I think this will be around 8-10 chapters to complete. I really enjoyed writing the team this way, they really are a family and it's adorable.

Taglist: @esposadomd, @gghostwriter

Until you sat down on the jet, you didn’t realise that your brain hadn’t stopped from the moment you left the briefing room. Settling into a seat next to Spencer and opposite Emily, you let out a big sigh and leaned your head on Spencers’ shoulder. He shuffled in his seat next to you to put his arm around you and pull you closer for maximum comfort. From across the aisle Emily gave you a gentle smile. You half expected Spencer to press you for “that chat” now that you were sat down but he also respected your feelings and knew you’d explain when you were ready to.

The air in the jet was different this time. You’d travelled on this plane hundreds of times and everyone was usually just in focus mode. Heads buried in case files, studying every aspect before landing to make sure you were all fully prepared. This time however, the rest of team were laughing and joking. Reminiscing on their own personal high school memories, eliciting groans when certain hairstyle choices were brought up or dating horror stories or the fact that Prentiss used to be a goth. You closed you eyes and listened absent-mindedly to the banter happening a few feet away from you. It felt strange to be relaxed at a time like this. You were heading to a disappearance/kidnap/potential homicide and yet it was like you were all heading on vacation. You wondered if this new energy was a slight farce planned by everyone to keep your anxiety at bay, but currently you didn’t care. It was nice to hear laughter for once in this line of work. You would've bet that with your eyes closed, you could tell that even Hotch was smiling.

“So Hotch, how come Reid got picked to be the teacher?” Morgan asked, a slight pang of jealousy in his tone.

“Because he’s a genius.” JJ retorted. You felt Spencer tense at the moniker. You didn’t have to open your eyes to know he was rolling his right now. He’d once confided in you that being called a genius made him uncomfortable. When he first joined the BAU, he revelled in it. He loved being the youngest, the smartest and being trusted to do the job he does based on his intellect. He felt it gave him a sense of importance and authority. Agent Gideon, his previous boss used to introduce him as “Doctor” on purpose to make sure others respected him despite his age. But after 5 years, he didn’t want the identifier anymore. After the things he’d seen, the things he’d been through and the cases he’d solved for the bureau, he felt he’d earned his place based on merit and hard work. He wasn’t desperate to fit in and be respected any more, he just did and was. You decided to open your eyes and watch how this was going to play out.

“And? You don’t need to be a genius to teach high school.” Morgan rebuffed defensively.

“Okay tough guy, explain Pythagoras to me right now then.” Prentiss scoffed at him. Morgan adjusted himself in his seat, sitting up slightly, taking the situation very seriously. He looked around nervously at all the eyes on his, awaiting his explanation.

“Yeah alright, it’s that E=Mc squared thing right?” Morgan mumbled slight, his bravado trying to compensate for what he didn’t know. The jet was full of people trying to stifle their laughs, not wanting to be to mean to Morgan, he had tried after all. JJ hit his shoulder playfully, the mistake and embarrassment dawning on his face before clearing his throat to try and save face.

“Okay so maybe I don’t know Math, but I’d still take any of you in an arm wrestle.” - Morgan booed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. Spencer had bolted upright in his seat, bouncing his knee waiting his for turn to speak. Any chance to explain something made him so excited. You looked up at him and saw the sparkle in his eyes that you absolutely adored.

“Pythagoras is the theory that when dealing with a right angled triangle, the area of the square whose side is the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the areas of the squares on the other two sides. "A squared + B squared = C squared" is the equation you were trying to think of. We shouldn’t really call it a theory anymore in my opinion because it’s been proved many times. An interesting fact about Euclidean geometry is that it uses a Cartesian coordinate system…” God you loved this man.

“Okay kid, we get it, you’re the right one for the job.” You scowled slightly at Morgan for cutting Spencer off, you loved his facts and trivia, it was one of the few times you knew he was relaxed and right now that’s all you wanted for him. Spencer sat back in his chair, and you repositioned yourself on his shoulder giving his arm a small squeeze to show you cared about what he was saying.

“Reid is the most experienced, he’s taught at the university before and knows a lot of information about a lot of subjects, simple as that.” - Hotch asserted.

“Can’t believe you’re jealous that they both have to go back to highschool” Emily teased. Morgan just blew her off with a wave of his hand, clearly done with the conversation. You tapped Spencer’s arm lightly and he hummed in response. You turned your body into his slightly and looked at up his kind eyes. Emily realised this was about to be a private conversation by the way you’d made your own little bubble and tried to look anywhere but at you two, much to your gratitude. You knew you’d still likely be heard - it was a small jet after all - but you still appreciated the gesture. Taking a big breath, you locked your fingers with Spencers’ and thought carefully about your words.

“I’m sorry I worried you back at Quantico, I was just in shock about my home being in danger. I realised it’s more than that though.” Your eyes dropped from his face, looking down into your lap, watching the way your fingers fidgeted nervously with his, an anxious habit you’d picked up a while ago.

“Spencer I feel like a failure.” You said in the smallest voice possible, admitting it felt like the most vulnerable secret in the world.

“My family and I, we don’t exactly have the best relationship. In my town, people don’t really do much after highschool. When I told my parents that I wanted to leave and join the FBI they acted like I was crazy, they thought that I thought that I was better than everyone else. They think I’m pretentious, all high and mighty. They’ve never once told me they’re proud of what I do, and even though I’m coming back now to try and save lives, it feels like it doesn’t matter.” Tears start welling your eyes, you don’t want to cry - not here, not now - but the dam is close to breaking. Spencer lifts one of his hand to your chin, tilting your head back up to meet his eyes. Those eyes. So full of kindness, compassion and understanding. He presses a small kiss to your forehead before speaking,

“Listen to me, you are not a failure. I know they’re your family but they’re idiots. I’m sorry but they are. Actually, I’m not sorry, because anyone who can’t see how smart and incredible you are deserves to be insulted. You’re not returning because you did anything wrong, or because you couldn’t cope. You’re returning with the best criminal analyst team within the FBI, that’s so small and exclusive you have to be brilliant to work for. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone and if your parents say anything when we meet them, I have no problem defending you.” And with that, he pulled you into him, his long limbs enveloping every part of your body. You laugh/cried softly against his chest. You knew he meant that last part - you’d seen him be sassy and assertive with cops and other FBI members, he certainly wasn’t going to be afraid of your parents. It was Hotch who broke the moment between you two.

“I’m sorry to eavesdrop, but I’m afraid you won’t be able to see your family. We can’t risk anyone recognising you or giving away your identity. We know there’s already risk of that since it’s only been a few years since you’ve been around but seeing your family would give away the connection straight away. As soon as we land, you and Reid will be going separate ways.” You felt Reid’s grip tighten on you, pre-emptively holding onto you.

“Agents’ Prentiss, Morgan, JJ and myself will be heading straight to the station to meet with the local PD. If this unsub sees us arriving it might cause him to get nervous and slip up, meaning we can catch him sooner. We’ll be able to stay in contact with you both through calls and emails but we can’t be seen physically together, I’m sorry. Garcia will send you your accommodation details when we land.” And with that, the jet become reminiscent of how it always is before a case, quiet and contemplative.

Hearing that you’d be able to stay in touch provided minimal comfort to the pounding heart in your chest. The remaining time on the flight was spent nestled into Spencers’ side, trying to calm your thoughts. You were used to going into the field alone sometimes but never like this. “At least you’d see him at school everyday” you thought chuckling internally.

All that was left to do was to await the call from Penelope at touchdown.

Chapter 4

[aperrywilliams]

Green Card - Ch5: Not That Selfish (Spencer Reid x Fem!OC)

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Author Masterlist / Series Masterlist

Previous chapter < > Next chapter

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!OC (Ana María González)

Series summary: What reason leads two complete strangers to marry? For Spencer, the chance of his mom being admitted into a new medical trial. For Ana María González is to get the elusive green card.

Chapter summary: Ana and Spencer need to agree on what to say about them to the rest of the world. Different people, different lies. Will they be able to keep up the groove?

Word Count: 5k

CW: Some strong words. Talking about food and recipes. Mention of Diana Reid’s illness. Mention of Spencer’s bad luck in the field. More Spanish sentences. If I forgot something, let me know.

A/N: Hey! Here is chapter 5. Part of my childhood is displayed as well.

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"Wow. This is the most delicious thing I have ever eaten in my life. Why I didn't know you before?" Garcia asked Ana, who gave her a shy smile. "How did you say this dish was named?"

"Carbonada," Ana replied.

"Delicious. Marvelous. Boy genius, you can't let her disappear from your life again," this time Garcia told Spencer, who rolled his eyes.

Ana and Spencer thought it would be harder to convey a convincing story about how they knew each other and why Ana was living at Spencer's right now. But Ana quickly explained that when she moved to DC, she did it with her boyfriend, and just two weeks ago, he kicked her out of their shared apartment. That's why Spencer offered a place to stay until she could find a new one. It seemed enough to Penelope, and now she was more interested in convincing Ana to trade some cooking lessons for cocktails with the BAU girls.

Ana said she had no problem with the lessons, but the cocktails weren't necessary.

"Of course it is! Food and alcohol are best friends. And the girls will love you. JJ and Tara are so sweet, and Emily is so funny. She has a lot of stories to tell. And! We can tell you some about this boy too," Garcia alluded to Spencer.

"Now I don't think it's a good idea," Spencer voiced this time. Ana laughed. She liked Garcia although her bubbly personality. It reminded her a bit of Sarah.

"It's the best idea, Reid," Penelope decided. "Oh! You have to come to Rossi's the next Saturday," she blurted then.

Ana looked at Spencer in confusion, who almost choked sipping his water.

"Garcia, I don't think it is a good idea. Rossi doesn't even know-" he started, but Penelope cut him off.

"I bet he would love the idea! And don't be rude, Reid. Are you going to leave this poor girl alone on a Saturday night? She needs to have fun after what her asshole ex-boyfriend put her through," Penelope scolded, hitting Spencer's arm.

"Thanks for the worry, guys, but I think I can manage myself," Ana assured, but Garcia wasn't having anything of it.

"Honey, I know you can! I don't have any doubts. But you don't have to do it alone. Not when there are many sweet people - and by sweet people, I mean us - who can help."

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to argue with her. Ana thought about that, peeking at how flustered Spencer looked. So she went with a smile and nodded in appreciation.

Later they would think of something to do about it.

After Penelope left, Spencer did the dishes as Ana tidied the table, putting everything in place. As Ana set the last few glasses in the sink, Spencer made his first comment of the night.

"Thank you. I know Garcia could be a bit intense, but I didn't feel okay leaving her going home alone tonight," he explained.

"I don't mind. Spencer, this is your place, and she's your friend. If anything, I think it's very sweet of you. However, we didn't think this through. I mean, about the chances of running into your coworkers or relatives," Ana voiced, grabbing a dishtowel to help Spencer.

"You're right. You did pull it this off pretty well, though."

"By now, you must think I'm a pathological liar,” she scoffed, piling the dry plates over the counter.

"I know you are not. These are what we might call compelling circumstances,” Spencer corrected.

"They are, in fact. I'm sorry we couldn't openly celebrate your mom getting her place in the clinical trial, though,” Ana lamented, due to it being the idea of dinner in the first place.

"Uhm. Yeah. Although, if I remember correctly, I think some wine is left in that bottle,” Spencer pointed casually, turning off the tap and grabbing the end of the dishtowel Ana was using to dry his hands. She chuckled, amused by Spencer’s suggestion.

"What a coincidence I have two glasses here," Ana added, grabbing them from the drying rack.

Almost two full weeks have passed since Ana settled into Spencer's apartment. They didn't have the interview date yet, but they diligently used the time they both coincided to study.

Although the term ‘study’ might not often be seen as such. More than once, Ana or Spencer strayed from the topic, and they ended up chatting about anything.

It didn’t matter, though. They have been feeling comfortable talking with each other. Not to mention the roommate thing has been working fine for them—a routine they are getting used to. Spencer calls or texts Ana when he has to leave for a case; Ana calls when she has changed shift or will not make it to the apartment for the night. They coordinate when they need to buy something at the grocery store. And the meals now are not only take-outs.

Today was officially Diana's settlement in the new facility. Spencer had picked her up from the former sanatorium to Fogarty’s yesterday, but it was late, and Fogarty wasn’t there to welcome them properly. He insisted Spencer bring his wife the next day. That means Ana would meet Diana for the first time.

“What did you tell your mom?” Ana asked as they drove to Diana’s new facility.

“Half of the truth. We’re colleagues, and we have an undercover assignment where everybody needs to believe we are married. She doesn't know details, though.”

“And she accepted it without further explanation?” Ana asked in disbelief. Spencer shrugged, his eyes not leaving the road.

“She knows me enough to understand things could be weird in my life sometimes. Especially in my job,” he explained too casually to Ana’s liking.

“What a relief,” she pointed, gazing outside the window at how the buildings passed by.

Once they got there, Fogarty was waiting for them. He told them Diana was already in the yard.

“Hey, Mom,” Spencer called when she was at his sight.

“Spencer! Honey. I thought you would be here later,” Diana said, standing to hug him. Then her eyes trailed to Ana.

“Dear. No time to see, uh?” Diana greeted her, and Ana could feel the intensity of Diana’s gaze, analyzing her from head to toe, but her eyes were soft and kind. It was a rare contrast, Ana thought.

“Diana. It’s nice to see you,” Ana nodded at her, hoping her nervousness could go unnoticed.

Spencer tried to break the awkwardness.

“And how did you sleep, Mom?”

“Good. I really don't see much difference between this and the other place, though. Only God knows why you brought me here,” Diana said unamusedly. Fogarty intervened this time.

“Well, as long as you feel comfortable, that's all that matters. And speaking of your stay here, I'd like to review a few things with you,” he prefaced.

Fogarty explained the visitation regime and how the care plan would work. He had previously agreed with Spencer not to inform Diana of all medication changes but as they occurred.

Diana Reid seemed unperturbed by what Dr. Fogarty explained; she was more interested in seeing how Spencer didn't let go of Ana's hand and how he played with her fingers. A knowing smile adorned her face.

“I think that’s all for now. Dr. Reid, can you join me in my office for a moment, though? There are some papers you need to sign.”

Ana’s hold of his hand tightened.

“Don’t worry honey, my daughter-in-law can keep me company,” Diana reassured Spencer with a smug smile. He looked at Ana to see if she was okay with that. There weren’t many options, though. Ana swallowed and nodded to the man, trying to mask her nervousness.

“Okay. I’ll be right back,” he told Ana, giving her a reassuring squeeze on her hand.

Once the men had entered the building, Diana sat on the bench, motioning Ana to the spot next to her. She took that cue to sit down too.

“So friends, uh?”

Of course, Diana would use the opportunity to interrogate her.

“Yeah.”

“And faking a marriage for job reasons,” Diana added, pointing to her wedding band. Ana nodded again.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Spencer’s mom hummed, contemplating her following words.

“I have seen Spencer doing a lot of things for his job. But this? I have to acknowledge my son gets better at surprising me every time.”

So it’s true what Spencer said about his mom knowing how weird his life could be.

“I guess it's the perk of being an FBI agent?” Ana tried to play along.

“Oh honey, don’t deny him credit for it. Not every FBI agent ends up twisting things as Spencer does. But don’t get me wrong. I love my son with my life, even if I can’t fully understand what’s happening in his brain sometimes. But it’s my fault, you know? I can’t even go along with my own brain some days,” Diana exhaled. It was a recognition that pained her, Ana could notice.

“He’s a great guy and loves you so much.”

Diana smiled. She knew that. Maybe her brain plays tricks on her frequently, but she knows Spencer loves her, as she knows the good man he is.

It was nice others could see that too.

“And you seem a great woman,” Diana added, taking Ana’s hand without prompting. The girl’s cheeks flushed.

“I’m a very ordinary person. I wouldn't dream of being compared with Spencer’s achievements.”

“Maybe not, but it doesn't make you less than him. He chose you to do this for a reason.”

“It was just-” Ana was about to explain, but Diana didn't let her continue.

“Work. I know. And I will pretend I believe what Spencer told me about that, but between us? I don’t buy it.” Ana’s face was filled with pure panic now. “Don’t worry, darling. You don’t have to tell me anything. Maybe I can’t remember things, but I do notice. I saw the way you looked at each other. I don’t know what it is, but it hasn’t to do anything with your job. Oh, and did you know Spencer is a germaphobe? I almost forgot it when I saw him holding your hand and toying with your fingers. That reassurance gesture wasn’t fake.”

Ana’s mouth dropped. She wanted to say something, but nothing came up. Ana kept looking at Diana dumbfounded as she patted her hand softly, just in time as Spencer returned to the yard.

“Oh, darling. Just in time. I was about to tell Ana some embarrassing stories about you as a baby,” Diana announced.

“Mom, please. That will have to wait, though; we must leave now,” Spencer said, smiling to Ana.

The ride back to the apartment was silent. Spencer asked Ana if something had happened with his mom. She wondered if it was a good idea to tell him what Diana revealed to her, but what was the point? It would make Spencer nervous, and Ana was sure his mom wouldn't want that. So why did she tell her? It didn't make sense. Also, while Diana Reid knew they were lying, her conclusion wasn't correct. Of course not. It was all a lie. Both the story they told Fogarty and what Spencer told Diana. And they holding hands? A lie too.

“Ana?” Spencer probed again.

“Uhm?”

“I asked if something happened while I was with Fogarty.”

“Uh. Not really. Your mom is adorable, though. She kept me entertained with some old stories.”

Another half-lie. Ana wondered if her life would only be like this from now on.

In the following days, Spencer tried to come up with a plausible excuse for Ana not going to dinner at Rossi's, but Garcia had pestered him all week in such a way refusing would have been worse. Somewhat embarrassed, he told Ana about his failure, and the girl shrugged, sighing.

“I guess I should pick a nice dress, then?”

“I promise I’ll make it up to you. Dinner is up to me next week.”

“That means you’ll cook? God, no. I’ll do it for free,” she teased. Spencer huffed.

“Well, at least I tried, okay?”

That afternoon, at the agreed time, Ana and Spencer arrived at Rossi's house.

“Kid! It’s good to see you. And to you, bella señorina,” Rossi greeted the couple.

“She’s Ana. An old friend of mine from Vegas.”

“Nice to meet you, mister Rossi,” Ana extended her hand, and Rossi gentlemanly kissed the back of it.

“Please, call me David or Rossi. Not mister, I don’t like to feel older than I already am,” he scoffed.

“Okay, David.”

“Fast learner. Very good. Please, come in. The people are in the backyard.”

Spencer looked at Ana before passing the glass doors.

“You okay?” He checked. Ana nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s do it,” the girl reassured him.

“Hey, Reid,” Luke is the first to notice them.

They both made their way to the people gathered around a fire pit.

“Well, guys, I already told you about Ana. Ana, this is Emily, JJ, Will, Tara, Luke, Matt, Kirsty, and you already know Penelope,” Spencer introduced each of his friends.

Indeed, after their encounter with Garcia at the grocery store, Spencer told them about Ana and why he didn’t say anything when they met at the coffee shop. Basically, he repeated the same story they told Garcia before.

As Spencer did the introductions, Ana tried to memorize each name. Spencer told her about them before, although she was sure some names were missing. She made a mental note to ask him later.

“Nice to meet you all,” Ana greeted. “And properly this time,” she now looked at JJ and Luke.

“Yeah. I agree. Our boy genius didn’t want us to know about your existence,” Garcia complained.

“Ana a secas? (Just Ana?)” Luke asked the girl, who smiled.

“No. Actually, is Ana María,” she replied.

“Ah! Latina de tomo y lomo (A Latin girl through and through),” Luke pointed.

“Alguna duda, cariño? (Do you have any doubt about it, honey?).” Ana said playfully.

“Por favor, enséñale a Reid a hablar un español más decente. Lo necesita con urgencia. (Please, teach Reid how to speak better Spanish. He really needs it)” Alvez requested, laughing.

“No hago milagros. (I can’t do miracles).” Ana held her hands' ups, and Luke snorted as the rest of the group looked amused. Spencer’s cheeks flushed a bit, but he chuckled nonetheless.

The group chatted for a while until Rossi announced dinner was served. Ana sat next to Spencer, and during dinner, she struck up conversation with almost everyone. Garcia and Tara were the most enthusiastic.

Fortunately, the team knew little of Spencer's childhood in Vegas, so any inaccuracies Ana might fall went unnoticed.

Despite her previous anxiety, Ana now seemed at ease and open to joking from time to time. Spencer was relieved things were going well, and you could tell he was having fun too.

“So, Ana,” Rossi said once they were eating dessert. “They told me you were an excellent cook.”

Ana shook her head, using the napkin to wipe her lips.

“Me? Oh, no. Only what my mami taught me when I was younger.”

“But I’m sure you are better than the genius here,” Rossi joked. Penelope piped.

“Oh, way better! She made a delicious meal the day I met her. What was called?”

“A carbonada.”

“Carbonara?” Rossi asked, confused.

“It sounds similar, but no. This stew has potato wedges and veggies like pumpkin and green beans. You can add beef if you want,” the girl described. Rossi hummed.

“It sounds delicious. I'd love to try it sometime. If you don't mind, you could be our chef at the next meeting. I'll take care of having everything you could need," Rossi offered.

“Sure. Why not,” Ana agreed. She didn’t think it could be a genuine interest anyway. Why could an Italian millionaire sybarite be interested in such a simple dish?

After the coffee, the group dispersed between the living room and the backyard. Spencer had not left Ana’s side in the evening, but Garcia insisted on having a girl’s talk with her, JJ, Tara, Kirsty, and Emily.

“Will you be okay?” Spencer whispered to Ana before moving to the group with the guys. She smiled appreciatively at him. It was nice having Spencer worry about her being comfortable.

“Yeah. More than okay. Don’t worry about me. I promise not to say anything embarrassing about you,” Ana whispered back, winking at Spencer, who chuckled, shooking his head.

“Oh, thank you for that.” Spencer joked back before walking to the backyard.

Garcia didn't waste time and started planning the next girl’s night, insisting Ana join them. The young woman tried to come up with a plausible excuse, but as Spencer had already told her, it was impossible to say no to Penelope.

“Okay, now we are good with the plan; I need to ask something to our newest member,” Emily announced. Ana frowned.

“I know you said you are old friends, but that makes me wonder if you were Reid’s first.”

“Emily!” JJ scolded. Ana’s cheeks suddenly turned red. She only expected questions about whether they were dating or something like that.

“No. I did not. Why do you think that?” Ana asked defensively.

“I guess Emily noticed the familiarity between you both—a closeness forged by a deep intimacy. It's not rare between old friends, but considering you both lost contact for many years, now you look as if time hasn't been a big issue,” Tara formulated.

“That’s how you do the thing you do for your job, right? Profiling?” Ana asked, sipping her wine and trying to hide the blush on her cheeks.

“Don’t pay attention to them,” JJ intervened. “They only want the gossip.”

“It's not like that!” Garcia chirped. “Well, kind of. But our main concern is our boy. We want him to be happy, and honestly, her last girlfriends didn’t like them that much,” Penelope shrugged. JJ and Tara nodded in agreement.

“Are you talking about that Maeve girl?” Ana asked, almost sure they were talking about her.

“Oh, you know that bitch!” Garcia blurted.

“Garcia,” Emily warned.

“Sorry, boss. But you know what I think of her.”

“But Spencer loves her,” JJ commented.

“I don’t think that’s love,” Tara contraried.

“Do you know her?” Emily asked Ana, who shook her head.

“Dear, I swear you’re way better,” Garcia suggested.

“But I’m not Spencer’s girlfriend, so I’m not in the competition,” Ana stated, sipping her wine again.

“You should be,” Tara mentioned.

Without ever meeting the aforementioned Maeve Donovan, Ana could picture some things about her from Spencer’s story and his friend’s impressions.

“I’m sorry if we are a bit intense about it. It's just we worry about Spence. He has been through a lot in his life. Not to mention doing this job,” JJ explained.

“How is so?” Ana asked with picked curiosity.

“Oh, dear. Our boy genius has been beaten, kidnapped, shot a few times, and a long etcetera,” Penelope described. Ana’s face showed how shocked she felt hearing all of that.

“You are kidding me?” she asked in disbelief.

“I’m afraid we are not,” Emily seconded.

While in the opposite corner, the guys were talking as well.

“She is nice,” Matt pointed, referring to Ana. Spencer’s brow furrowed.

“And very beautiful,” Rossi added, making Spencer blush.

“Not dense at all. And with a great sense of humor,” Will observed, sipping his whisky.

“Not like Maeve,” Luke blurted suddenly.

“Luke? What the hell-?” Spencer was about to complain.

“What? It's true. I’m sorry, man, but that girl? You don't make her laugh even if you had a circus full of clowns,” Alvez complained as Matt, Will, and Rossi snorted.

The evening turned to an end, and one by one, people were saying their goodbyes. It was the cue to Ana and Spencer to go home.

In the cab, Spencer inspected Ana’s face, who was looking out the window.

“Was it terrible?” He asked. Ana turned to see him and smiled.

“Not at all. Quite the opposite. Your friends are fun.”

“I’m glad. They liked you, by the way,” Spencer announced, smiling back. Ana’s cheeks flushed a bit.

“They did? Wow. I’m flattered,” Ana declared, satisfied. Spencer hummed in agreement, and now it was his turn to look out the window.

Ana kept thinking about her conversation with the girls. Something they said bothered her, but she didn't want to seem out of line voicing it.

Bad thing her mouth sometimes didn't follow her brain’s directions.

“Spencer?”

“Yeah?” He turned to see her. Ana cleared her throat.

“Is it true? What they told me about your bad luck in the field?” she asked tentatively. Spencer frowned. He didn't know how much they told Ana about that, but it couldn't be so detailed.

“Well, bad luck is a good way to put it. But yeah, I guess it's true,” he shrugged.

“But you still are doing this job. Why?”

‘Oh, Ana. You don't know where to stop, do you?’ The girl chastised herself, seeing Spencer go silent for a moment.

“Well, this is who I am. I mean, since I was recruited from the Academy. Twelve years by now. I don't know what else I could be, honestly.”

Ana frowned. Spencer saw his answer didn't satisfy her.

“What? You don't believe me?”

“No. I do-”

Before Ana could fully reply, the cab driver announced they had reached their destination. Spencer helped her to descend, grabbing her purse and offering his hand. Once they both were on the sidewalk, Ana resumed her idea.

“I do believe you. It's only- I don't know, for a person who could have chosen anything in this world - I mean, you are literally a genius - you choose this, and it's like you have no choice besides to continue doing it.” Spencer listened to her intently until his eyes darted to his building’s entrance.

“Shit,” he exclaimed. Ana frowned.

“What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Maeve,” the man mumbled, looking in front of him and barely paying attention to Ana. The girl followed his line of sight and located a woman at the entrance of Spencer’s building. Fortunately, the woman was checking her phone, so she didn't see them.

Trembling, Spencer felt the panic in him. Out of instinct, he returned Ana her purse, faster speaking.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take Maeve to another place. You have the apartment key. See you tomorrow.”

And just like that, the man strolled where Maeve was. Ana stayed on the spot, astonished.

“Maeve?!” Spencer called the woman, who lifted her gaze from the phone.

“Spencer! I was texting you right now!”

“Hey! What are you doing here?” he asked, engulfing her in a tight embrace. Maeve reciprocated, quickly shoving her phone in her pocket to wrap her arms around Spencer’s neck and kiss him passionately.

Ana was uncomfortable looking at the scene from a few meters behind. In order not to give the impression of eavesdropping, she reached for her phone, pretending to make a call and looking towards the street. Still, she could hear what Spencer and Maeve were talking about.

“Why can we go upstairs?”

“I didn’t tell you. I’m painting the place, and it’s a mess. Let’s go to your hotel,” Spencer offered to what Maeve didn’t argue. Hand in hand, the couple walked in the same direction Ana was. Ana still was focused on her phone, but from the corner of her eye, she saw Spencer and Maeve get a cab.

With the coast clear, Ana could now stride into the building.

Ana didn't quite know what bothered her the most. If the quick way in which Spencer left her in the middle of the sidewalk, the excitement on his face to see Maeve, or the boldness of that woman to show up without even calling first.

Being any of them, Ana knew it was irrational to get upset about it.

Moreover, Spencer perfectly could have told her to fuck off so he could go upstairs with her girlfriend.

‘Why do you keep thinking about it?’ Ana wondered, grabbing a glass and pouring herself some wine.

Something left her with a bitter taste. After the fun dinner they had with Spencer's friends, it all ended abruptly. In fact, when they were talking about something important.

‘Stop it, Ana, you're meddling in things that aren’t your business,’ she scolded herself. And although the BAU girls’ words lingered in her head, Ana knew she couldn’t do anything about it. It's not her place.

Spencer didn’t return that night, nor did the next day. That Sunday, Ana did sleep until noon and got immersed in the novel she was reading during the afternoon.

Spencer wanted to apologize to Ana for how rudely he had left her that night on the sidewalk. But when he got home on Sunday night, she was already preparing for bed in her room.

They didn’t talk Monday morning either; Spencer left for his job early and was called in a case for the rest of the week.

Sarah knew about the coming interview with Immigration. She knew Ana was living in Spencer's apartment, too. But whenever she asked the girl about it, Ana would say everything was fine and change the subject quickly. Although, Sarah could tell how absentminded her colleague was some days. She wondered why.

“The doctor is out of town?” Sarah asked one afternoon during their break. That day Ana seemed especially distracted.

“Uh? Yeah,” was her short answer, still focused on the crossword in front of her.

“Are things good with him?” Sarah tried again.

“Yeah, they are.” Same reaction from the girl, who filled the empty squares with a newfound word.

“You miss him,” Sarah affirmed casually.

“I do,” Ana replied, not realizing what she had said until the words left her mouth. At that moment, she trailed her gaze from the newspaper to Sarah, who sported a smirk on her face.

“I knew it,” she triumphally exclaimed.

“What?” Ana asked, annoyed.

“You’re falling for him,” her coworker informed. Ana rolled her eyes.

“I’m not!”

“Sure you do. And there is nothing wrong with it!”

“Are you listening to yourself? Firstly, I’m not falling for anyone. Spencer is a nice guy, he’s helping me, and I’m helping him. And secondly, if it was the case, there is everything wrong with it! We are literally strangers and living totally different lives! Sarah, please, gobiérnate un poco, ya? (Slow down and don’t say nonsense, okay?).”

Sarah shook her head but didn’t say anything else to not piss Ana off more. Although Sarah was sure, no one could tell she wasn’t right.

Time will tell, she thought to herself.

That night, Ana was watching TV when she heard the keys jingling in the lock.

As Spencer closed the door behind him, Ana turned to see him.

“Hello to you,” she joked, but the smile on her face faltered when she realized the frustration radiating from Spencer.

“Hi,” he barely said, hanging his coat and satchel on the rack. Ana watched as he slowly moved—heavy footsteps on the hardwood floor.

“Can I ask what happened to you?” Ana asked tentatively.

Spencer sighed. “I don’t know if I want to talk about it.”

“Okay, you don’t have to,” Ana conceded.

“Thank you. I guess I better go straight to bed,” he announced. Ana could have let him go, but she was worried.

“There is some dinner left if you didn’t eat,” she commented. Spencer shrugged.

“I’m not hungry,” he dismissed. It was a lie, though. Since the jet touched land that afternoon, his stomach has been grumbling nonstop. But he only wanted to sleep to stop thinking about his day.

Spencer was about to walk down the hall to his room when Ana spoke again.

“You know what? Stop right there,” she commanded. Spencer did so, brows furrowed, turning to see Ana standing from the couch. “You don’t have to tell me anything. But you can't go to bed before eating and relaxing a bit. So, come and sit here.”

Spencer was confused. He didn't doubt Ana’s good intentions, but she had never been this forward in the almost month of living together.

But Spencer was so tired and jaded that he had no energy to fight. Silently he returned to the sofa and plopped down as Ana went to the kitchen to heat some food. She came back quickly and handed him a tray with dinner. Plopping down next to him, Ana grabbed the remote from the coffee table.

“You ready?” she asked excitedly.

“For what?” Spencer asked, chewing a mouthful of pasta.

“Look what I found...” Ana grinned, pressing play. A very young Neil Patrick Harris dressed like a medical doctor was displayed on the screen. Spencer cocked an eyebrow.

“Wait a minute. It this-?”

“Yes! A Doggie Howser re-run!” Ana confirmed, clapping her hands like a child.

‘Oh God, what have I gotten myself into,’ Spencer thought. But whatever it was, with the girl sitting by his side, it could be nothing wrong.

——————

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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine​ @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @tvandfanfic @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @disaster-in-waiting @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger

[her-storybooks]

The Greater and Less - Aaron Hotchner and Y/N

Summary: Prompt - Stargazing Author's Notes: Hello dear readers! It's me, back from the dead. I went on hiatus as I started my new job. It's currently my week off and since I had some time today, I thought I'd get back into the writing mood. It's just a little drabble but it's on the fluffy side! Enjoy!

San Diego in Spring, trapped in a small stuffy room filled with police officers with bad B.O and profilers with high adrenaline running through their veins. Cases involving children were always the worse. The haunting knowledge of a small innocent life being tampered with and destroyed echoed through everyone’s minds as they tried to build a profile of Sanita Cole’s abductor. On Monday morning the team was called in after a series of unsolved child abductions became a series of unsolved murders. Victimology was a mess. There were 5 children so far, all of different races, gender, schools, and family wealth. The only correlation was that these children were all a week away from turning 10 years old. The current theory was that the Unsub must have experienced some form of trauma once they turned 10 years old. The question was, was the Unsub acting ins a twisted act of mercy, ensuring these children never got old enough to experience the pain they had endured? Or was this an act of revenge? An eye for an eye?

Y/N was hunched over a desk, staring down at picture after picture of bloodied and uncensored pictures of children’s bodies corrupted and tortured. Looking up from the pictures was no relief, they were on the walls as well. Along with a list of suspects and their previous convictions for child abuse. All in a small dark and stuffy room in San Diego during Spring.

When the door burst open, Y/N looked up to see Sanita Cole’s mother covered in dirt and tears hurdling down her face. The primal pained scream gave Y/N all the information she needed. Just like the other children, Sanita had been left half-buried in her mother’s backyard. A poor attempt at remorse? Allowing the child to finally rest in their home. Or an evil twist of a knife already slicing a mother’s heart. Malinda Cole was forced to use her manicured figure nails to dig at the ground and claw her way to her cold daughter. JJ and Emily bundled up the grieving mother from the ground and carried her to an empty room, leaving the room in icy silence. Y/N looked around and saw the faces of officers sigh with contempt and slug their shoulders before turning their attention back to their jobs. There was a protocol to follow now. Crime scenes are to be cordoned off, neighbors to be interviewed and autopsies to be scheduled. It angered Y/N how the first thought in her mind was what Sanita’s body could teach them about the Unsub. A calculated and impersonal thought for the child. She angrily shook her head and her thoughts and rushed out of the building.

The night air was no relief. She had yearned for a cold wind to hit her skin and wake her up from this nightmare. Instead, it blanketed her in a sticky blanket, weighing her down. Her neck was hurting after hours of looking down at coffee-stained wooden tables. Craning her head upwards to let her eyes close for a moment, relishing in the darkness before peeking through her eyelashes into the night sky.

She saw the stars but looked quickly away, turning her body back towards the police station to get back to work. A large solid bolder blocked her path as she stumbled over his shiny black shoes. “Hotch!” She jumped, scolding him for scaring her. “Don’t you make any noise when you move!” Complaining she scoffed and annoyance. “Y/N,” he whispered her name in a gentle warning as he placed his protective hands on the side of her arms.

“What?” she snapped back. She looked up and expected to see Hotch about to scold her and tell her to watch her tone. Instead, she saw the kind eyes of the man who left flowers on her desk with a secret note just a week before. She felt the gentle brush of his thumb on her arms and the patient smile curving on his lips. She sighed heavily and fell into his arms, crashing her head onto the pillow of his chest. “Aaron.” She sighed heavily.

“I know,” he whispered, wrapping her body up in his arms and holding her close.

“How many more children have to die before we catch this guy?”

“Stop,” he hushed gently, stroking her hair lovingly. “Just take a breath away from work.”

“But…” she began to protest, pulling away to meet his eyes and give him her long mental list of reasons she couldn’t afford to take a quick five-minute break.

“Look.” He interrupted, turning her around in his arms and pointing up to the sky. “Ursa Major.” Y/N rolled her eyes and looked up to the night sky, following Aaron’s stretched-out arm.

“No,” she sighed. “that’s Ursa Minor. That’s…” she moved his hand to the left, pointing to the large and almost mirrored constellation beside it. “Ursa Major. See it’s bigger and the round spoon-like bit is at the bottom.”

“Oh yeah,” Aaron feigned ignorance and hid his smirk in the locks of her hair. “How does that story go again?” he dropped his arm and wrapped it firmly around Y/N’s midriff, holding her back close to his stomach.

“Well remember how I told you Zeus was a bit of a lady's man?” Aaron hummed in remembrance of the many late-night chats where Y/N shared her love for Greek Mythology over a glass of wine. “Well, he had a child with Callisto and that angered Hera.”

“Zeus’s wife?”

“Yeah, she was the jealous type. For good reason. Anyway, she took it out on Callisto and turned her into a bear. When Callisto’s son went out hunting, he came across Callisto in her bear form. He didn’t realize it was his mother and was going to kill her. To save them both Zeus threw the mother and son into the sky where they became Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. The Greater Bear and The Lesser Bear.”

“Sad story,” Aaron mumbled, happy to feel the friction of Y/N’s palm against his arm as she patted whilst she spoke.

“Maybe,” Y/n mused. “But it beats the alternative. Imagine the guilt he would have felt knowing he killed his mother. At least this way they’re together.”

“Hmm.” Y/n relaxed into Aaron’s embrace and caught herself smiling as she marveled up at the stars that shone above them.  

“You’re a sneaky mean, Hotchner.” She laughed as she realized what Aaron had done. How he had distracted her and forced her to relax. She felt his chuckle as she pressed his lips to the top of her head.

“Take five minutes to breathe then come back inside and we’ll catch him.”

He departed with one more kiss on her cheek. Y/N felt a cold waft as Aaron’s body heat was removed from hers. She found the cold awaken she had come outside for, and now she could breathe, even just for a few minutes.

Author's Notes: I confess to injecting my own personality into this fic as I love Greek Mythology. I have no idea if you can see Ursa Major and Ursa Minor in San Diego, but you can see it in the UK so forgive me if it's inaccurate!

[lipstickstainz]

mismatched socks - s. r.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Request: Spencer's girlfriend (reader, FBI agent too) always wears mismatched socks and when they have their first night together at his apartment he notices, and his brain goes to mush, and falls in love with her even more

Warnings: fluff, some talk about Spencer being insecure Word Count: 2.2k A/N: thanks for the request, love! I really enjoyed writing it! requests are open guys! hope you enjoy. gif not mine.

Spencer had always known he was different. He had always been the smartest in school, which could be attributed to his eidetic memory. He wasn't invited to birthday parties because he liked to tell facts that were funny to him, but that no one else found funny. And he had been rather an oddball in other ways, too.

All his life this fact had made him insecure. He thought of himself as too skinny, too unathletic-especially when he compared himself to Derek, which was pretty stupid, of course-and his hair always lay funny, no matter how hard he tried to tame it. He wore cardigans over shirts-the watch over the cardigan, of course-which was pretty weird, but he wore Converse with them and two different socks every day. He loved magic and physics jokes. Spencer couldn't talk about the latest episode of Greys Anatomy, and he wasn't sure what Team Stefan and Team Damon were. Spencer didn't fit in perfectly anywhere and it had taken him time to accept that. He also never imagined anyone would find in attractive, or even want to be with him.

Until you came along.

On your first day at BAU, he immediately noticed three things about you. First, you walked incredibly fast, actually too fast to just walk from one office to the next. It seemed to her as if you were flying. Second, you tucked your hair behind your ears every few minutes, even when it wasn't falling in your face. He wondered why you didn't use a pin or a scrunchie. But it was a habit that didn't bother him in the least. From the moment he first saw you, he found you irresistibly pretty, and he was glad your hair didn't cover your face. And third, you could write ambidextrously. As the team sat in the conference room and you scribbled something in your case file - also something he noticed, you seemed to prefer paper as much as he did - you reached for your coffee cup with your right hand and continued to write undisturbed with your left, until the entire team looked at you as if you were from another star. It was a look Spencer knew all too well.

He had never met anyone like you.

Spencer liked you from the first moment he saw you. He liked that you took your backpack on both shoulders and that you preferred cocoa to coffee. He liked the way you smiled at him when he brought you one from the office kitchen and set it on your desk. And he liked the way your skin felt on his when you reached under the desk for his hand when you noticed a change in his demeanor. You then squeezed his hand twice. Once for "It's all right" and once for "I'm here, with you."

In your presence, everything seemed as easy as breathing. You listened to him when he blathered on about a subject you didn't understand, because you liked his intelligence and the way he explained things without looking down on others. You even asked when he had to explain something to you, which had surprised him so much the first few times that he had completely forgotten what your conversation was about. He had stared at you and the blush had come to his face. One feature that didn't escape you, but made him even more attractive to you.

When you went to his table one morning and told him that you had seen Star Trek for the first time the previous night, and now wondered how realistic the physics in the movie were, he could hardly stand it. You were beautiful and intelligent and interested in Star Trek? And when you asked him if he could explain something from the movie to you, he was sure his dream girl was standing right in front of him.

"I need your help", he told Derek that very day as they stood together in the kitchen. "How do I ask a girl out?"

Derek nearly choked on his coffee before turning to Spencer. "Since when do you want to date?" He noticed Spencer's gaze, which wasn't on him, but slid past him and lingered on you.You sat at your desk and tucked your hair behind your ears before looking up and over at Spencer's desk.  Derek could see your gaze wander around the office and then linger on Spencer before you smiled and got back to work. With a grin, Derek looked at Spencer. "You're going to ask Y/N out on a date? Oh boy, it's about time you finally do. I already said to Penelope that -"

"Please, Morgan. I just want to know how to ask her out”, Spencer interrupted him, looking at his friend.

Derek's grin gave way to an honest, friendly smile. "Don't make a big deal out of it. Just ask her directly."

"And if she says no?", asked Spencer uncertainly, his mouth twisting into a thin line. He couldn't imagine you going on a date with him, but he couldn't stay in the dark any longer either. He had to at least try.

"She won't”, Derek assured him. The whole team felt that Spencer and you would be perfect for each other, but he didn't tell him that. Spencer should learn to walk before he starts running. "I can see the way she looks at you. And if she does say no, she's not as smart as I thought."

Spencer trusted Derek's words and took it upon himself to ask you out on a date that very day. He had phrased the question countless times in his head, even encouraging himself in the mirror in the men's room, but every time he stood in front of you and looked at your beautiful face, he couldn't get a single word out. They got stuck in his throat and he was so embarrassed that he fled from you several times. By the third time, he had red marks on his neck, which you noticed immediately, and you wondered how you had made him so uncomfortable without having really done anything. When he said nothing again, you put your hand on his forearm.

"Are you okay, Spencer?", you asked, and he just nodded. It's now or never.

"Wouldyougooutwithme?" He almost mumbled, but you had understood him perfectly. "If you don't want to, that's fine, and we'll pretend I never asked. We'll just keep being friends and -"

"Spencer," you interrupted, smiling up at him, "I'd love to go out with you," you replied, and he was able to breathe deeply again. The marks on his neck faded as you tucked your hair behind your ear.

He had done it. Spencer had asked you and you had agreed, but where was he going to take you? Nothing seemed good enough for him. Going out to eat was nice, but you didn't seem like someone who needed to talk the whole time. He thought movie theaters were dumb because you couldn't talk there at all. After two days he had thought of something and he wouldn't have minded if you thought the idea was stupid, but when he presented his idea to you, you smiled at him excitedly.

"I can't wait."

You spent your first date in Spencer's favorite library, surrounded by knowledge and stories. You walked the aisles together, telling stories of books you had read and found to be good, and books you had abandoned because they were so bad you couldn't finish them. As you walked through each aisle, which had actually taken an entire afternoon, Spencer didn't want the date to end. He was going to suggest something else, but you beat him to it.

"There's a couch over there. Shall we sit there? Then you can read me something from your favorite book."

You would be the death of him.

A few weeks later, you had arranged to go for a walk. The weather was nice, not too hot and not too cool, so you strolled hand in hand along the paths. He liked the fact that you worked together but couldn't just talk about the job. You were explaining to him why a certain Matt Donavan from a vampire series was incredibly annoying when someone stopped in front of you.

"Y/N! How nice to see you!", the young woman said, unceremoniously wrapping her arms around you. When she broke away from you, you looked at Spencer.

"Spencer, this is Lisa, my college roommate. Lisa, this is Spencer, my boyfriend”, you explained before you could think about what you had just said. You chatted briefly before going your separate ways again. You noticed a change in Spencer's behavior and feared you had misinterpreted everything. When you couldn't take it anymore, you stopped.

"Look, I'm sorry I called you my boyfriend”, you said, looking down at the ground in shame. "We've never talked about what exactly we are, but it feels like you're my boyfriend and I wish you were, so I -"

"Y/N”, he interrupted you and tenderly reached for your hand. A smile spread across his face. He couldn't believe himself that he would ask you that. "Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

The bar was crowded and the later it got, the more crowded you felt. The team had been in the mood to celebrate after a difficult case, so everyone had gathered in the regular bar. Penelope was putting on some dance moves on the dance floor while Emily and JJ were bawling out the song, which neither Spencer nor you knew. He had his arm around your waist and pulled you tightly to his side, which you enjoyed very much. He didn't fit in here with his shirt and cardigan, but he fit you, you were one hundred percent sure of that.

As you stifled a yawn, he looked down at you. "Shall we go? You seem tired and I'm getting ready to go to bed too”, he suggested and you nodded. Outside, he hailed you a cab and as you got in, you gave the driver Spencer's address.

"We're going to my place?", asked Spencer, looking at you in confusion as you nestled into his side.

"Yeah, I hope that's okay”, you replied, "If it's too soon for you for us to sleep together, then you just have to say so. I won't be mad at you."

How could he be mad at you? You wanted to spend the night with him. You wanted to fall asleep next to him and wake up next to him. He had hit the jackpot.

"Would you like to drink something?", he asked as you sat down on the couch and kicked off your shoes. It wasn't the first time you'd been in his apartment, but you'd never entered his bedroom before and you didn't want to take the step without him. It was still his apartment and his privacy and you respected that.

"Just water, please”, you replied, pulling your legs up so he could sit next to you. He handed you the glass and you took a big gulp.

In your presence, Spencer had never felt like an oddball. You never made him feel like he was different or weird. You didn't laugh at him, you laughed with him, and you had assured him many times how incredibly attractive he was to you, even if he couldn't see it. He wasn't too skinny or too unathletic for you. He dressed askew, but it suited him like a glove and you had imagined more than once what he would look like without clothes. It didn't bother you in the least that he wasn't interested in the technology of today. For you, he was just right. For you, he was perfect.

Even though you often assured him how much you liked him and how happy you were with him, he was still insecure from time to time. But as you sat there together on the couch and you put your legs on his thighs, he was one hundred percent sure that he didn't need to be insecure. On your left foot was a green sock, while on your right dangled an orange sock.

You wore the socks like he did. Two different ones. Had you seen this on him and copied it or had you always worn socks like this? A question that could be answered later. His heart stopped for a second, his brain turned to mush, which is why he couldn't control his following words either. "I think I love you."

Surprised, you looked to him and noticed that his gaze lingered on your socks. "You see my socks and then say you love me? Maybe something isn't going right in that clever head of yours”, you grinned and leaned towards him. Blushes shot up his face. "I love you too, Spencer."

Gently, you placed your lips on his. The kiss was tender, hesitant, but Spencer saw his chance and gently pulled you onto his lap before wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. His heart threatened to overflow with love. As he placed his hands on your butt, you moaned softly into his mouth. He smiled.

In your presence, he didn't feel like he was different.

[moon-light-jukebox]

Germs [Reid x Reader]

this gif isn’t mine

Summary: Reader is sure the resident BAU genius doesn’t like her, but she’s not sure why. But even if he did like her, he’s a germaphobe, so he wouldn’t be comfortable with the things she wants to do to him...would he?

Pairing: Spencer Reid / (Female) Reader

Word Count: 5.6k

Rating: Mature 

Category: Fluff and Smut 

Content Warning: Brief mentions of torture and violence, usually criminal minds stuff, nothing explicit. Light choking, oral sex (female receiving), penetrative sex, fingering, language (maybe?) 

A/n: I have come out of fan fiction writing retirement for this one. Let me know what y’all think!  masterlist

y/n - your name

y/l/n - your last name

italicized text is Reader’s sassy inner thoughts

---

I’m not sure if I believe in hell, but if there is a hell, I’m sure it feels exactly like Louisiana in July. Every time I walked outside I felt like I was walking into soup. Gross. I couldn’t help but feel guilty over my sigh of relief when I walked back into the local precinct the team was currently working out of. Young women are dying, and I’m worried about a little bit of heat.

But, fuck, it was hot.

Speaking of heat, I thought as I threw open the door to the conference room only to run smack into the hottest thing I’d ever encountered.

“Shit,” I exclaimed before I thought better of it. “I’m so sorry.” I ran my eyes up, up, up, all the way up his body until I met his eyes; those beautiful honey brown eyes that threatened to have me acting like an idiot if I stared into them for too long.  

Dr. Spencer Reid’s cheeks were tinged pink, his posture stiff, his fingers clutching the file he was carrying for dear life. “Don’t worry about it, Y/n,” he sounded uncomfortable, which made my stomach drop. “My fault.” With that, he quickly maneuvered around me and headed off to complete whatever genius task he had to complete.

My eyes followed him until he was out of sight before I mentally shook myself. ‘C’mon, this is pointless,’ I thought. ‘He doesn’t even like you.’ Which I really thought was true, the good doctor went out of his way to avoid me whenever possible. ‘Plus, he’s a germaphobe.’ This thought was confirmed true. He didn’t shake people’s hands, the only people I’d seen him touch during my time at the BAU were members of the team that he’d known for years, and some of those even seemed reluctant.

Admittedly, I didn’t know a lot about germaphobia; since I couldn’t ask the only genius I knew, I did the next logical thing. I googled it. Every person I’d read about seemed to experience germaphobia differently. Some people could have sex, but others were grossed out by the very idea. Knowing my luck, Spencer Reid and his beautiful hands, and his soulful eyes, and his cheekbones that could cut glass was in the repulsed by sex category. Which is fine! Right, it is fine to not be interested in sex; the only problem was I was very interested in every part of him.  

Maybe he thinks I’m gross. Maybe I stink? Maybe he’s just repulsed by my very presence. Regardless, I couldn’t see Spencer Reid ever shoving me against a wall and fucking me senseless.

I sighed, making my way over to the conference table, pulling out a chair before I flopped into it. I could feel the exhaustion settling into my bones. We had been in Louisiana for almost a week now and we were still no closer to finding our unsub. He was a white man, he worked in a lower-paying job, and he hated women. Obviously, that didn’t narrow it down much.

The unsub was targeting women in clubs and bars, following them outside before he bashed them on the back of the head. After that, he threw the girls over his shoulder and took them to his car; he moved them to a secondary location before he tortured them. The first two victims had survived. They were traumatized, but they were fighters; they both said the same things, ‘he kept my eyes covered the entire time,’ “I never saw his face,’ ‘I did whatever he told me to do.’

We thought the killing of the third victim had been an accident, but that accident had excited our guy enough that he changed his ritual; the killing was crucial now. We had 4 bodies, 2 live victims that couldn’t tell us anything, and no leads.

Sighing, I leaned forward, bringing the heels of my hands to my eyes. I hated feeling helpless. The answer to who this fucker was is in this evidence somewhere and I will find it. If it’s the last thing I do.

The doors swung open again, pulling me from my thoughts. Hotch lead the parade of people, followed by Morgan, JJ, and Dr. Reid. Our unit chef looked gravely serious…not that that necessarily meant anything, in the 6 months I’d been with the behavioral analysis unit I hadn’t seen him have any other expression.

Morgan pulled out his phone, hitting what I suspected was speed dial number 1. “Hey baby girl,” he said, without his usual swagger; even he was tired. “You’re on speaker. You’ve got me, Hotch, JJ, Reid, and Y/l/n.”

“And I have the always wonderful Emily Prentiss, and the dashing David Rossi on the line, effectively putting my favorite people together again, as they should be,” Garcia quipped. I don’t think she meant to include me in her list of ‘favorite people,’ but it made me smile anyway. “Okay, crime fighters, what’s the play?”

“We’re still no closer to finding the unsub,” Hotch began. “He’s highly organized, methodical, and paranoid; but he hasn’t killed in 3 days, this is a break from his escalation pattern. He’s going to strike soon.” Hotch leaned over resting his palms on the shiny fake wood of the conference table. “Our best chance is to send an agent out there as bait.” There was a general murmur of agreement before he continued on. “Garcia, we need you to find all of the night clubs, bars, and whatever else you can think of in the updated comfort zone.”

The sound of keys clicking made its way through the speaker. “Assuming we’re excluding the places he’s already hit, that leaves us with 3 possibilities.”

“So far he hasn’t struck a place twice,” Prentiss chimed in. “Do we think he’s going to hold to that pattern?”

Reid moved over to the board where the map of the county was displayed. “I think so. This guy is too careful to risk going to a place where he’s been before. The chance of him being recognized is too great, especially when everyone is on high alert.” He gestured to the area he had circled on the map. “His pattern seems to be focusing in on this center point right here,” he said, placing a pin in the map. “This area means something. Garcia, what is the closest club or bar to the intersection of Washington Avenue and Harrison Street?”

“That would beeeeee…The Blue Fox.”

“That’s where he’ll be,” Dr. Reid said confidently, his eyes moving to Hotch’s face.

The older man nodded. “It’s our best lead so far, we have to run with it.”

“It’s Friday night,” Rossi pointed out. “We’ll have to act soon.”

Hotch nodded, seeming to be lost in thought. “We need to send agents in there tonight. We know the victims were all on dates or flirting with a man right before their abduction. He targets women that are happy with their companions then waits til he can separate them.”

“Who are you planning on sending in, Hotch?’ JJ questioned.

“Y/l/n is the youngest, she fits the build of the previous victims the best.” His heavy gaze rested on me. “What do you think?”

Like it was even a choice. “I’m in.”

Hotch nodded, accepting my answer. “Good. You’ll partner with Reid.”

“What?!” I squawked, much to my embarrassment. I cleared my throat before I continued. “But, Reid and I…I just thought Morgan would be the obvious choice.” Fuck, I’m just digging a bigger hole.

Morgan gave me an easy smile. “You’re just saying that because you wanna see my moves, little mama.”

Hotch cleared his throat, bringing our attention back. “Morgan is too intimidating; the unsub might not move in if he feels too threatened. You’ll go with Reid.” When he was met with silence he continued on, “alright, let’s get to work.”

-

And that is how I wound up in a club in Louisiana on a Friday night, in a tight black dress, with Spencer Reid beside me. After he walked into the club holding my hand. He doesn’t hold hands, I cringed internally at the thought. He must feel so uncomfortable.

He waved the bartender over, ordering a drink for me and a water for himself before turning to me. “I thought a drink would loosen you up a bit. You look nervous.”

I am nervous. “Right. Thanks.” I drummed my fingers on the bar, my gaze sweeping around the club for anyone who seemed out of place and especially creepy. Most lone men at clubs and bars were creepy, but we need especially creepy.

“Is that because you don’t think I can have your back?”

My head snapped back around. “What?”

Spencer paused to accept the drinks from the bartender, sliding him the money. “In the conference room. You seemed upset that Morgan wasn’t going to be your partner,” he stated matter-of-factly. “Is that because you think I wouldn’t have your back?”

Fuck. I blushed to the roots of my hair. “No, Spencer! God no! It’s not that, I know you’d have my back.” I took a sip of my drink before I said anything else. “It’s just that…you don’t seem to like me very much, and I know you have a thing about germs, and I thought maybe that’s why you didn’t like me.” I was babbling; I was absolutely babbling. “I just didn’t want you to be uncomfortable, that’s all. Morgan has never seemed uncomfortable around me, so…” I trailed off lamely.

The corners of his lips quirked up in amusement. “So, you didn’t want to partner with me on this because you didn’t want me to be uncomfortable?”

I nodded, fidgeting with the straw in my drink.

Spencer moved closer to me, his right hand coming to rest on the small of my back. He seemed as calm as he could be, meanwhile I suddenly had trouble breathing.

It’s for the case. He has to do this for the case. Calm down.

"What do my issues with germs have to do with this?" he wondered, leaning closer to me. I could feel his breath on my neck; my skin broke out in goosebumps.

Double fuck. “Well, we’re supposed to be…together. And you think I’m gross. What if you have to kiss me?” TRIPLE FUCK. “Not that we’d have to kiss,” I tried to backpedal. “But we might, you never know. And I just didn’t…I don’t want you to dislike me more than you do.”

The teasing smile slipped from his face, the fingers on my lower back flexing slightly. He regarded me with a tilt of his head. "You're serious?" At my shaky nod, he continued. "Y/n, I don't think you're gross."

“You don’t?” I squeaked.

He lifted his hand from my back then, sliding it up to my shoulder, his free hand moving from the bar to rest on my hip. Spencer brushed my hair back before he leaned forward. Slowly, slowly, slowly, I felt his lips touch the tender skin of my neck. My eyes fluttered shut, unable to suppress a gasp at the contact. Spencer Reid’s beautiful lips slid down to the place where my neck and shoulder met, then I felt his teeth nip the skin before he placed another kiss there. He worked his way back up towards my ear, the hand on my hip moving slightly so he was almost grabbing my ass. “I don’t think you’re gross,” he breathed, causing me to shudder. I could hear the smirk in his voice. “Germs don’t bother me in that way, especially around people I know. I wouldn’t have a problem kissing you, baby.”

I was going to need new panties after this. Spencer Reid, awkward, sweet, Dr. Spencer Reid just called me Baby.

“…Oh.” Really, y/n. Oh; you went with oh?

The good doctor pulled back, his face close enough to mine that I could see that he had freckles under his eyes and that those beautiful eyes got more golden towards the center. "Oh."

-

Michael Watkins was the name of our unsub. He was a short white man with a receding hairline and a bad temper. His last relationship had ended 3 months before the first attack; Spencer was right to pick this bar. Shortly after he tried to make my pussy combust with his neck kisses, Reid suggested I walk to the bathroom, assuring me he’d be watching if anyone followed.

Watkins’ hand was in my hair, dragging me outside before I made it to the ladies’ room. I felt a jolt of fear as I struggled to escape, strands of hair being ripped from my head. I shouldn’t have worried, because no sooner had the outside door opened than I heard the velvety voice of Derek Morgan. “FBI! Put your hands where we can see them.”

He attempted to run. Why would anyone try to run from Derek Morgan?  

After the medics confirmed I was okay, I was sent back to the hotel while the rest of the team went with the local police to book Watkins and try to get a full confession.

“Good work,” Hotch said, his hand clapping down on my shoulder.

The highest praise I’ll ever need.

I hopped into the shower right when I got back to my room, not wanting Watkins’ touch on me for a moment longer.

Spencer’s touch, however,…That was a touch I wouldn’t mind having on me. But he’d barely looked at me once he made it outside. I knew he was being affectionate in there because of the case, we were playing a role. I knew that. I still couldn’t stop the twinge of hurt I felt.

But he doesn’t think I’m gross. That had to count for something.

I had just got done blow drying my hair enough so that it wouldn’t look too crazy when I woke up when there was a knock on my door. Figuring it was Emily, I didn't consider the fact that I was in my pajamas, and my face was scrubbed free of makeup.  

It wasn’t Emily. Spencer Reid stood on the other side of my door, his eyes running down my body before he met my bewildered stare again. “You look comfy,” he commented with that damn little smile on his lips again.

“Oh. Yeah. I took a shower.” Way to go, y/n, you’re really killing it tonight.

“I see that,” he said, his cheeks going a little bit pink. “Can I come in? I thought we should talk.” Was he nervous? Why would he be nervous?

I ushered him in, shutting the door behind him. He sat on the bottom edge of my bed; his body angled towards the headboard. I briefly debated about where to sit before I joined him. Don’t make it weird, y/n.

He cleared his throat before he began. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable tonight. I just wanted to make sure we got the guy.”

Right. “Oh, it’s okay, Spencer. I get it. I wasn’t uncomfortable.” I picked at the frayed edge of my sleep shorts, my eyes dropping so he didn’t see anything on my face that betrayed how I was feeling; you can’t be too careful around profilers.

His hand reached out to cover my own fidgeting hands, one of his hands covering both of mine. His hands were so big. His fingers were so long, the veins in his hands were so pronounced. I bet those fingers would feel really – FOCUS.

“I’m also sorry you thought I didn’t like you.” His thumb had started to move slowly over the back of my hand. “I do like you. I like you a lot, actually. I just…” I brought my gaze back up to meet his eyes. “I just get nervous sometimes.”

“You didn’t seem nervous in the club.”

“No,” he chuckled. “I wasn’t nervous then because it was my job. I wasn’t worried about misreading a signal…doing the wrong thing…I’m not the best with social cues.” I had noticed that about him before. “But I am a really good profiler.” And he’s humble too, apparently.

“I know that you couldn’t fake your reaction to me in the club. Your breathing became quicker, I felt your pulse jump under my lips when they were on your neck. I saw how blown your pupils got." He shifted closer to me then, bringing his other hand up to push my hair behind my shoulder like he did earlier in the night. "Just like they are now."

He leaned closer to me, his voice was lower, and it made my stomach flutter. "You're clenching your thighs together, Y/n. Your shirt may be baggy, but I can see how hard your nipples are too." His tongue ran out to wet his lips. "If I'm wrong, just tell me now. If I've misread this, I will leave right now, and we can pretend this never happened." Spencer brought both his hands up to cradle my face; despite how wet my panties were, how tight my nipples are, how badly I wanted him to touch me, this gesture made me feel special. He was holding me like he actually cared about me like I was precious. "But, if I'm not wrong, and you want this too, Y/n, tell me. Tell me you want this too and I won't stop touching you until you scream my name."

I let out a soft whimper then. Like it’s a choice. “I want this,” I leaned into his touch. “Please, Spencer.”

His thumb brushed over my cheek, his eyes never leaving mine. “Please, what, baby?”

“Kiss me.”

No sooner had the words left my mouth than his lips were on mine. His lips were softer than I imagined, they were firm and almost…questioning. When I nipped at his bottom lip, something seemed to break free inside of him. His lips slanted over mine with a hunger I had never felt. His tongue ran over my bottom lip before I opened for him. Spencer’s tongue moved into my mouth while his hands moved; one hand moved back to grip my hair at the base of my skull, tugging firmly, the other moved down to my neck, not applying any pressure, just resting it there in a gesture that felt possessive.

The need for oxygen broke us apart, his lips moving across my cheek to my jaw, then down to my neck. “How could you think I didn’t like you?” he mumbled into my skin. “You have no idea what you do to me. None.”

I threw my head back when he sucked on my pulse point, a moan ripping from my throat. “W-what…what do I do?”

Pulling back from me, he gripped the bottom of my shirt, looking at me for consent before he pulled it over my head. His eyes were firmly on my chest, his lips parted, his breathing heavy. He pushed me down slowly on the bed; I was on my back and he was hovering over me. I felt his mouth place hot, wet, kisses from my collarbone down towards my breasts. His right hand landed on my breast, his thumb brushing back and forth over my nipple while his lips moved closer and closer to my left. I tangled my hands in his hair, urging him forward.

“You want to know what you do to me?” he raised his head slightly, making sure my eyes were on him when he flicked his tongue over my nipple, causing me to gasp. “What do you do to me in your little skirts, with your little smiles, and your little laughs?” He gave my nipple a sharp pinch. “You’re all I fucking think about, y/n.” With a growl, he finally took my nipple in his mouth, teasing it with his teeth and tongue. He switched to the other breast while he adjusted himself over me, bringing his pelvis down to rest at the seam of my body between my thighs. I shifted restlessly under him, trying to grind my pussy against him. He was so fucking hard.

With a groan, he lifted his head and started kissing his way towards the middle of my chest, moving down to the curve of my stomach. “Do you know how many times I came back to my hotel room after spending all day with you and was so hard I had to cum before I could think of anything else?” he peppered kisses down my body as he spoke.

My eyes shot open at this confession that he seemed to think was no big deal. “What?” I couldn’t believe this. “You…you touched yourself and thought of…”

He hooked his fingers into the waistband of my shorts and panties, taking my raised hips as an invitation to remove both from my body. "You. I thought of you." He threw my clothes on the floor, pulling my legs open. His eyes moved over all of me, his Adam's apple bobbing when he swallowed hard. “I thought about kissing you. About making you squirm for me.” He ran his fingers up and down my thighs, his mouth running slowly over my inner thighs. Spencer’s hands hooked around my upper thighs, moving me to where he wanted me. “But, most of all, I thought about this pretty pussy.” He placed a kiss on my clit, chuckling at the wanton moan that came from me and how my fingers tangled in his soft brown curls. “I thought about all the different ways I could make this pretty pussy cum all over me.” With that, he ran his tongue up my slit before flicking it over my clit.

Dr. Spencer Reid was good at everything, so of course, he was good at this too. His mouth moved over me, watching my reaction to see what I liked best. His tongue moved in circles around my clit before slipping down to my opening. His tongue plunged inside me, fucking me, while his thumb came over to rub my clit.

“Spence- fuck- Spencer, please.” My hips tried to shift restlessly, but his arms were iron bars holding me still. He slowly moved his left forearm to rest across my hips, bringing his right hand down to my throbbing pussy. He pulled his mouth away from me, much to my dismay. He pushed one finger, then another into me. My head thrashed wildly, and my thighs started to shake. “Spencer!”

He just smirked and curled his fingers, hitting the spot inside me that made everything in my body pulse. “What, baby?”

My breaths were coming in gasps, my voice was a needy whimper. “Make me cum, Spencer. Please, please make me cum.”

He needed no other encouragement. His fingers continued their steady thrust in and out of me while his mouth covered my clit again. He alternated between flicking my clit with his tongue, then circling it before pulling it into his mouth, sucking lightly.

“Spencer.” I felt my orgasm rising. “Spencer don’t- don’t stop. I’m gonna cum, please make me cum.”

He kept his pace steady, sucking on my clit, moaning at my words. His eyes had been closed, but at that moment they opened and met mine. Then I felt his teeth ghost over my clit, I saw the want in his eyes. That was my undoing. My back arched, my mouth hung open in a silent scream. I heard myself say his name over and over again. Spencer pushed his fingers inside me, massaging me through the most powerful orgasm I had ever had. With one final kiss on my oversensitive clit, he withdrew his fingers, putting them into his mouth to suck my orgasm off of them.

He kissed back up my body, and I tried to respond, but I was still so shattered. I had never felt anything so powerful before. He cupped my face in one hand and kissed me slowly. I returned the kiss, moving my hands to the buttons of his shirt.

Spencer broke the kiss, pulling back to look at me again. “Hang on, baby.” His hand came up to still my own. “We can take a second. It’s okay. Just breathe.”

This beautiful man smiled at me then. I felt my heart flutter when he leaned down to pepper soft kisses along my jaw, his thumb coming up to wipe a tear that fell from the corner of my eye that I hadn’t even noticed.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that. He shifted to lay beside me, whispering reassurances to me while I came back down. This was just one of the ways that Spencer was so different from every other man. I didn't feel rushed, or pressured. I could feel how hard he still was, I could feel the tension in his body, but he simply kissed me while he cupped my jaw.

He made me feel…cherished.

I moved my hands to tangle in his hair again, deepening our kiss. He didn’t move my hands away when I started to work on the buttons of his shirt. The fire that I thought had been calmed by my orgasm had come roaring back. Spencer moved his hands to his belt while I finished with his shirt. His shirt came off, tossed in the same direction as my clothes. I pulled his pants and boxers down his legs, watching his cock spring free.

Everything about him was painfully beautiful. His angular cheekbones, the jaw that looked like it was carved from granite, even the toned muscles of his body. He had a small trail of hair that went down from his belly button to his groin. His cock laid against his stomach, the head glistening with precum.

“You’re beautiful,” I whispered, kneeling beside him, running my eyes over his body.

His soft hand came to grab mine, pulling it to his lips. He kissed the back of my hand, smiling softly at me.

I moved to straddle him, lower on his thighs. I took him in my hand, moving up and down, twisting my wrist as I neared the tip, swiping my thumb over his head.

“Baby,” he groaned. “Y/n, as much as I want you to do…whatever the fuck you want with me, I’m so close. I feel like I’m going to explode.” I bit into my bottom lip, unable to totally stop the smile spreading over my face. “Please, I need to feel your pussy wrapped around my cock.” He moved his hands to my hips, urging my body forward.

I raised up on my knees, taking him in my hand again, lining him up with my entrance. The tendons in his neck were strained, his fingers gripped my hips so hard I knew I was going to have bruises tomorrow. As I slowly started to sink down on his cock, Spencer let out the sexiest groan I had ever heard. His eyes were fixed where our bodies were joined, watching his dick slid deeper inside of me.

“Come on, baby,” he whispered. “You’re doing so good. Just a little bit more.”

He was so long, he wasn't overly thick, but just thick enough to cause a pleasurable stretching when he breached me that was almost painful. I gasped out a sound that might have been his name when he bottomed out inside me. I slowly circled my hips, adjusting to him. Spencer’s nails dug into my hips as he forced himself to stay still.

“Please move, y/n. Please. You’re so fucking tight.” He groaned as my walls fluttered around him. “Do you like it when I talk to you? Does that make your pretty pussy wetter?” He smirked at my whimper as I tightened around him.

I began at a slower pace, trying to tease him. Spencer quickly lost patience with that; he thrust his hips upwards, meeting my movements, his hands pushing me down onto him. I leaned forward, bracing on hand on his shoulder, the other on the bed. He pounded into me while I tried to match his pace. Spencer’s hand moved from my hip up to wrap around my throat. I nodded, forcing my eyes to stay open as he moved inside me.

His fingers squeezed slightly, pulling my face closer to his. Our lips met in a sloppy kiss. My thighs burned from matching his movements. “You feel so fucking good, y/n.” His grip on my neck tightened ever so slightly, which only heightened my arousal. “I want to feel you cum on my cock. Can you do that for me, pretty girl?”

He flipped us over quickly, never pulling completely out of me. Spencer moved to push my legs further apart, the change in angle allowing him to fill me deeper than I thought possible. His hair was sticking to his brow, his cheeks were flushed, his breathing erratic. He was the most fucking beautiful thing I had ever seen.

One hand held my leg, the other went down to my pussy, his thumb moving over my clit at a rapid pace. “Tell me what you need, Pretty Girl. Tell me how to make this pretty pussy cum all over me.”

I whined at his words. “Spencer, I-“ my voice broke off. I was so fucking close. "I need you." He seemed to understand my broken plea. He brought his body down, his chest flush against mine. He rocked into me at such a fast and hard pace. His hand still in between us rubbing circles around my clit.  

I felt his lips ghost over my ear. “I want to fucking hear you, y/n.” His speed increased, his thrust getting choppier. He was close. “I want this whole fucking town to hear what you sound like when I make you cum. When you cream all over my dick, I want you to scream my name.” With that, he moved his mouth down my neck. He bit the same tender area he had kissed in the club, where my neck met my shoulder.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck yes, Spencer!" I felt myself begin to splinter apart. “Please make me cum, fuck please.” My babbling finally broke as my orgasm tore through me. I couldn’t hear his deep groan when I came, my scream was too loud. I felt the vibration against my neck. It was only as I started to float down that I realized my nails were dug into his back. With a few last thrust and my name on his lips, I felt Spencer pulse, cumming inside me.

We lay there for a few minutes, just breathing before he rolled off of me. I felt overwhelmed, so I was relieved when he tugged me over to him. He wrapped his arm around me when I laid my head on his chest. I felt his lips on my forehead. “It’s very important for women to urinate after sexual intercourse to avoid UTIs, but you have another minute or so before that becomes more urgent.”

I couldn’t control my laugh at his comment. "Thanks, Doc." I kissed his chest. "Only you could make me cum so hard I almost blackout, then go back to being…you." I slowly untangled myself from him, going to the bathroom to handle business. When I returned, I found Spencer where I left him, his eyes were fixed on the ceiling, one hand resting behind his head, the other over his heart. He looked so lost in that moment.

“Spencer?” I asked, crawling on to the bed. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t pretend that something wasn’t bothering him. “When you said that I just go back to being me…Do you not like that?”

My heart broke a tiny bit at the question. “Spencer, no! I love that! I love your little facts and statistics!” How did he not know that? “The best part of my day is listening to you talk. Just being with you is wonderful.” I cupped his face, bringing his gaze to mine. “Sure, I like what we just did; but I liked you before that. I want both.” Fuck. “Assuming you want me,” I rambled quickly. “This doesn’t have to mean anything, I know that it doesn’t always-“

He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine in the sweetest kiss I had ever felt. It was filled with hope and promise and…Spencer.

“It means everything to me, Y/n.”

-

I didn’t see the rest of the team until the next morning when we all boarded the jet; I was so ready to go home. I personally didn’t think anything appeared that different. Spencer sat beside me on the couch, but that wasn’t weird…right? We were just co-workers, sitting beside each other super casually. Had we spent most of last night and a little bit of this morning screwing each other’s brains out? Certainly. But you couldn’t see that…right?

Morgan’s chuckle is what confirmed I was so wrong. “Hey, y/l/n,” he called, smiling so hard it looked like his face would split from his amusement. “You missed a spot.” He pointed towards his own neck.

There was a beat of silence before Hotch snorted. SSA Aaron Hotchner, the man who never found anything funny was laughing at me.

I felt myself turn tomato red, angling my body towards Spencer’s, burying my head against his shoulder, away from the rest of the team.

“I bet you’re glad pretty boy was your partner now, huh?”

I may have wanted to melt into the floor in embarrassment, but it was sort of worth it to see the blush on Spencer’s cheeks.

--

[sequinsmile-x]

Hi babe! I read your most recent prompt and loved it, but it made me think about how different Aaron is at home vs in the office. Would you consider writing a prompt where Hotchniss’ kids see serious Hotch for the first time and almost get spooked by it? Then ofc Aaron and Emily comfort the children and everyone is happy like normal. I love how you write domestic Hotchniss and thought this would be an interesting way to really delve into Hotch vs Aaron. Thanks so much!! 💜💜

Ooo I love this one <3 I hope you like what I've written!!

-x-

Apprehension

Words: 2k

Warnings: mild references to Aaron's childhood/abuse

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily was having one of the longest days of her life. 

She’d barely slept. Her two year old son was going through the sleep regression that JJ had warned her about, something she thought her friend had been exaggerating until it started to happen a couple of weeks ago. Her and Aaron taking it in turns to try and get Harry back into bed, often giving up and having him sleep in between them. Agreeing that figuring out the issue that caused was the lesser of two evils for now. She’d been in the kitchen, making the strongest pot of coffee she had ever made when she’d heard Aaron yelling from the porch. She had run outside, the edge of fear in his voice all too familiar, to find Jack, Harry and Aaron all standing very close to the street, the youngest of the three Hotchner boys far too close to the road for her liking. 

There hadn’t been a moment to figure out what had happened, her toddler all but throwing himself at her, his arms tight around her neck as she picked him up. Jack was apologising for something, something Aaron returned with an apology of his own, and before she knew it she was standing alone on the porch with Harry, his face buried in her neck. 

It was only when they were on the way to work, Jack dropped off at school and Harry at his daycare, that Aaron told her what happened. His hands tight on the steering wheel as he explained he had realised he’d left his car keys on the hook just past the front door, leaving the boys by the car as he went back to get them. He’d asked Jack to keep an eye on his brother in the few moments they’d be alone, but he’d been distracted by a video game he was playing, both Aaron and Emily too tired that morning for the usual debate about how his game console was just for after school. Aaron had turned just in time to see Harry running towards the road, following a cat he had seen in the street, only stopping when he heard Aaron shout, startled to the point where he lost his footing, landing on his bottom on the sidewalk, crying out in surprise. 

A car had flown past a second later.

Emily’s own fear at the thought of her son narrowly avoiding getting hit by a car was pushed down by the look on her husband's face. The tightness in his jaw gave away how close he was to losing it, his own fear so sharp it threatened to tear him open. He refused to talk to her about it any more than the facts of what had happened. She knew it was best to leave it, to talk about the concerns she knew all too well when they got home later in the day. 

Aaron’s mood wasn’t made any better by the team, all able to realise that he was upset almost immediately. Emily told them a vague version of what had happened, met with sympathy from JJ, a hand on her friend's arm as they shared a tight smile. A silent way of making sure she was ok, knowing how shaken up she would have been if the same had happened to her own children. 

Derek had made it worse. A poorly timed joke about Harry meeting ‘Hotch’ for the first time, something that Aaron overheard, making Emily start to plan what felt like well-deserved revenge in her head. 

When they got home there was still something in the air, Aaron sequestering himself to the home office almost immediately. She knew he needed it, so she sorted the boys herself, gentle reassurances to Jack that neither she nor Aaron was angry at him, but telling him he had to be more careful in future. It was something he clearly took seriously, a solemn nod his answer before he hugged her tightly, his game console left on the kitchen counter as he went to bed. 

Emily sneaks out of Harry’s room, the little boy fast asleep after two bedtime stories, and she closes the door softly behind her. The toddler had been his usual self all evening, any shock or surprise he’d felt that morning long gone. 

She takes a deep breath as she walks towards the home office, ready to comfort her husband, the one remaining Hotchner still overthinking the events of that morning. 

She opens the door without knocking since it was a space they both shared equally. He’s pouring some scotch into a glass, evidently, the first one he had poured, and he sets the bottle back down on the small bar behind the desk.

“You should go to bed, sweetheart.” 

“Aaron-”

“Just go to bed, Em.” He says, not looking up from the untouched glass of scotch in front of him, his palm flat on the desk next to it. “I’ll be fine.” 

“Honey, that’s clearly not true.” She replies softly, taking another step towards him but still keeping her distance, wanting to take his lead on this as far as she could, prepared to make him talk about it if she needed to. Not wanting to let him fester in this any longer than he already had, to let the very worst things he thought about himself soak into his bones, and leave a permanent mark behind. “Please talk to me.” 

His eyes snap to hers and the look in them makes her heart ache, the sadness he doesn’t try to hide from her, concealing the self-loathing underneath. 

“He was afraid of me.” He says bluntly, his voice void of emotion. “My son was afraid of me.” 

She closes her eyes and sighs, wrapping her arms around herself, holding herself together in the way she hoped he’d let her do for him. She knew, the moment Harry had recoiled slightly from Aaron, taken aback by his father’s uncharacteristic yelling, exactly where Aaron’s thoughts would have taken him. A treacherous journey down memory lane that he knew too well, a path he could walk with his eyes closed. Everything he had lived through was etched into him, sometimes as visible to her as the patchwork of silver scars across his abdomen. 

She didn’t have to use her profiling skills to know that, she just knew him. His pain, his past, as much a part of her as hers was. A burden they shared with each other, the load easier to bear. 

“No, baby,” she says, imploring him as she finally closes the gap between them, sitting on the edge of his desk as she faces him, “he wasn’t.” 

Aaron scoffs at her, shaking his head. “Then what would you call it, Emily?” He asks, looking back at her, a bitterness in his voice that made her want to cry. She places her hand over his on the desk, grateful when he doesn’t pull away, and she links her fingers through his. 

“He was startled.” She replies carefully, unsurprised when he laughs humourlessly, another slight shake to his head. His reactions to anything were as predictable to her as her own, or those of the boys, their family held together with honesty and love in almost equal measure. 

“And what is the difference?” He asks, sounding defeated, his gaze drifting back towards the drink he had poured himself. 

“He’s two, love. Two.” Emily says, the hand not over his on the desk cupping his cheek, making him look back at her. She smiles at him softly, her thumb skating over his skin. “He’s never heard you yell like that,” he opens his mouth to interrupt her, to try and prove her wrong, but she pushes through, not wanting him to spend another second thinking he was anything except the best father their children could hope for. “You were scared and you reacted. Fuck, Aaron, if I’d seen it happen I think I would have shouted louder.” 

His lips turn upwards into the ghost of a smile, the first sign of him shining through since she’d run outside to find Jack on the verge of tears and Harry running towards her like he was being chased.

“What is it Garcia calls you? A Mama Bear?” 

She raises an eyebrow at him. “I’m going to let that slide because you’ve had a hard day,” she says, standing up from where she was sitting on the edge of his desk to slide into his lap, her arms wrapping around his neck as he secured her to him, his embrace tight as always, “but if you ever call me that, I’ll never have sex with you again.” 

He holds her a little tighter, his usual retort about how she’d never be able to hold out on that threat lost to the seriousness of the day. 

“Jack and Harry both love you so much,” she says, palming his cheek, leaning forward to kiss him briefly, “you weren’t angry at them, you weren’t taking anything out on them. You were scared. You reacted. They are both fine.” She assures him, leaving no room for doubt, for his fears to resettle and seep into his veins. She pauses, taking a breath before she continues, wanting to ensure the last remaining thought she knew was floating around his head was also extinguished. “You aren’t your father, Aaron.” 

He sighs, the sound so deep it reverberates through her chest too. “Em.” 

“I mean it,” she says, cutting over him before he could argue any further, “even on the hardest days of being a parent you’re far better than his best.” 

He smiles slightly, one corner of his mouth curling upwards. “You never met him.” 

“I never had to.” She replies, shaking her head. Not for the first time finding herself wishing she could meet the man who had caused her husband so much pain, wanting nothing more than for him to see that his son had made something of himself, was so much more than he had ever been, despite his efforts. “You’re a good man,” she says softly, her fingers trailing through his hair, “the best actually.” 

Aaron chuckles. “You might be biased, sweetheart. Since you’re my wife.” 

She shakes her head defiantly. “Absolutely not,” she replies, biting her bottom lip, “I’m always happy to tell you when you’re being an asshole.” 

He laughs, his actual, full-bellied laugh, and it makes the tightness in her chest loosen, her heart soar. 

“You’re right. You are.” 

She kisses him, her forehead against his as she pulls away. “I’m always right.” She smiles at him, his hand running up and down her back. “You ok?” 

He nods. “I will be.” He replies. “Thank you.” 

“Anytime, love.” 

Any response, any further conversation, is cut off by the door opening, no one initially visible until Harry takes a couple of steps into the room, his favourite toy in his hand. 

“Do you think if we stay really still, he won’t see us?” Aaron whispers into her ear, making her laugh. 

“Mommy, Daddy?” 

“No such luck.” Emily quips, unfolding herself enough from his lap to make space for their toddler. “Come on, sweet boy.” She says, her hands already reaching out for their son as he makes it to them, easily hauling him up into their laps. He immediately snuggles into his father's side, resting his head on the shoulder opposite to Emily. She reaches out and tickles Harry slightly, the little boy squirming. “You should be sleeping, mister.” 

“Not tired.” He replies, and both his parents groan in response, exchanging a knowing look. 

“Well,” Aaron says, encouraging Emily to stand as he does so himself, ensuring Harry was secure on his hip, “Mommy and I are tired.” 

Harry rests his head on Aaron’s shoulder, clearly sleepy despite his protests otherwise. “Big bed?” 

Emily yawns as she exits the home office, shaking her head as she turns back to look at Aaron and Harry together, love filling her lungs as she does so. 

“We’ve created a monster.” She says through another yawn.

“You go to bed, sweetheart,” Aaron replies, “we’ll be right behind you.” 

She winks at him before she turns away, making the short journey to their bedroom.

“Big bed?” Harry repeats, gaining Aaron’s attention quickly, a look of confusion on his face at his request being ignored. 

“Yeah buddy,” Aaron replies, kissing his son’s head, “big bed.”

It was going to be a long night. 

-x-

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[the-bau-quinjet]

Please Don't

Summary: Hotch and Y/N have been pining for each other but everything changes after they go undercover for a case.

Warnings: Criminal Minds level violence, angst

Word Count: 2289

a/n: Thank you for this request!! I love a good Hotch moment. I hope you like it!

Masterlist

"Alright ladies! Here's the first round." Emily smiled as she set the four glasses down in front of you all.

Girl's night had just started. It being Penelope's turn to pick the nights events meant you, Emily, and JJ were in for a long night of bar hopping.

"Yes!!!" Penelope nearly screamed, grabbing her drink and taking a large gulp. "First question of the night goes to Y/N."

Your eyes widened as everyone turned to look at you. Whatever game Penelope was trying to play was clearly not going to go well for you.

"Oh, God. What is it?" You grimaced, eyes flitting between the three of them.

"When are you going to do something about your crush on Hotch?" Emily wasted no time in getting into the hard hitting questions.

"And don't even bother denying it! It's so painfully obvious." JJ added on, eyeing you skeptically.

"First of all, rude. Second of all, fine. I have a hopeless crush on our boss. Are you happy now?" You playfully glared, knowing there was no use in even trying to pretend.

"So? When are you going to do something about it?" Penelope was giddy, always one to celebrate new relationships.

"Uh, never." You deadpanned.

"Why not?" She whined in response.

"Pen, he's my boss for one. Plus it's highly unlikely he feels the same. I mean, how would I even bring that up?" You shook your head, trying to avoid the conversation.

"Y/N, Hotch is totally into you-" Emily's rant was cut off by the sounds of all of your phones buzzing.

You all shared a glance before confirming your suspicions.

"Another girl's night cut short." You shook your head. "Who needs a ride?"

The four of you quickly made your way out of the bar before piling into your car and heading to the Bureau.

-

"Damn ladies, looking good." Derek greeted you when you piled into the elevator together.

You hadn't thought about changing before coming in. None of you were wearing anything wildly inappropriate. Your outfit was just a bit more form fitting than a typical day in the field required.

"Thanks Derek." You rolled your eyes, stepping out of the elevator and immediately heading for the conference room.

Aaron's eyes were on you almost instantly. He always looked for you first when a new case came in.

"You ever gonna tell her?" Rossi asked from next to him.

"I have no idea what your talking about." Hotch kept his face neutral despite knowing there was no real point in denying it to Dave.

"I see the way you look at her. You know, I see the way she looks at you too. you deserve to be happy, Aaron." He replied easily, a smirk on his face as he took a seat in the conference room.

Hotch merely shook his head, trying to supress the smile forming at the idea of you returning his feelings.

He quickly moved on to debrief the team ultimately telling everyone to meet at the jet.

-

Three days later, another couple was dead, and you were no closer to catching the guy.

"Wait, there's a new pattern." Reid jumped up, pointing out the abduction sites on the map. "He's moving south, alternating between 11th and 14th Street. Each abduction happened at a different club on those streets. If he follows pattern the next abduction will be tonight at Cameo." He pointed out the next club on the map.

"So we'll stakeout the club, stop him before he gets another couple." Morgan suggested.

"We can't risk a takedown inside the club." Hotch ran a hand over his face.

"What if two of us go undercover? Pretend to be a couple and then we can stop him when he tries to abduct us." You suggested a new plan.

"That could work." Dave added on, sending you a nod. "You and Hotch fit his victimology."

"What d'ya say, Hotch?" Your heart was beating rapidly, but you refused to let it show. "Wanna go on a date?" You playfully nudged his side.

"It's our best plan." He nodded resolutely. "Go with Emily to get something to wear."

You smiled at him before turning to see a mischievous look on Emily's face. She whispered in your ear as you walked out of the room.

"Get ready. Hotch won't be able to keep his eyes off you tonight."

-

"Are you sure I should wear this?" You pulled the dress down a bit, trying to cover more of your thighs.

"Yes. You look amazing, and this is definitely going to catch the eye of our unsub." JJ complimented as she added a few finishing touches to your hair.

"It's just now dawning on me why we don't do undercover work." You flinched away from Emily as she attempted to add a third layer of mascara.

"Oh, hush. This was your idea. Everything will be fine. Better than fine if you're lucky." She winked, capping the mascara and throwing it back into your makeup bag.

"Em, this is work. I'm absolutely not making a move on Hotch while trying to lure an unsub to abduct us." You deadpanned.

"I'm not saying make a move! This is your opportunity to flirt a little and see how he responds." She shrugged casually.

You were about to provide another rebuttal when a knock sounded on the door to the bathroom.

"Y/N, you almost ready?" Derek called from the other side of the door.

"Coming out now!" You nearly ran out before Emily or JJ could try to convince you to flirt with Hotch again.

"Damn, L/N." Derek smiled when you exited the bathroom. "Looking good. You know who else might think so?"

"Can it, Derek. I'm in no mood." You swiftly walked past him. You could hear Hotch arguing with Rossi about something as you walked up to the conference room door.

"Dave, cool it will you?" Hotch rolled his eyes, not noticing you yet.

"I'm just saying Aaron-" He tried again.

"Well, don't." Hotch's playfulness rarely came out on cases, but you could see a glimpse of it in the way he bantered with Dave.

"Ready to go?" You asked from the doorway, putting your comm's device in your ear. You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at the way Aaron looked at you.

"Ready." He gave you a tight smile, diverting his eyes from your tight dress.

"We'll be right outside. All the exits covered." Dave reminded the two of you, nodding as you walked out the door.

-

"Here you go, one vodka cranberry." He winked when he passed the glass over, a subtle reminder about the lack of alcohol coursing through you.

"Thanks." You shifted awkwardly, unsure of what to do now. You'd been by the bar for about an hour, and nobody suspicious had caught your eye.

"Do you want to dance?" You surprised yourself by asking the question, watching as Hotch's eyes widened slightly. "I just, the other couples? Didn't witnesses say they were dancing?" You whispered the last part, obviously trying to limit anyone overhearing your conversation.

"Right. Of course." He looked nervous, but you chalked it up to not doing undercover often.

You lead him to the middle of the dance floor, trying to find the best view of the doors. It took a few minutes of awkward swaying, but the two of you found your rhythm.

"Behind you, there's a man watching us." Hotch whispered in your ear sending a shiver through your spine.

You nodded slightly in response before turning around. You pressed your back to his chest to cover the movement, eyes flitting around the room to observe anyone suspicious.

It didn't take long for you to spot the man Hotch was talking about. You moved your arms up around his neck, pulling his head closer to you so you could whisper to him.

"Got him. How do we get him outside?" You suppressed the urge to grind your hips against Hotch's. It was hard enough to deal with the feeling of his hands on your hips.

He spun you around, pressing your chests close together. Again, he moved his mouth close to your ear to whisper, "we just need to give him a show."

He pressed his lips to yours lightly, waiting for your response. You kissed him back with passion, relishing in the feeling of his lips moving against yours.

Your breath caught in your throat when he pressed a series of light kisses to your neck. You involuntarily tilted your head to the side, giving him more room to work.

"I think we've got his attention. Let's head out the back door." Hotch grabbed your hand, pulling you behind him toward the back of the club.

The cool night air sent a chill through your body, but you didn't have long before the man burst through the door behind you.

Hotch easily overpowered him, knocking the gun from his hands. He pulled handcuffs from his pocket, quickly securing his hands behind his back.

"Morgan, we got him out back." You spoke into your comms, turning slightly when movement in the shadows caught your eye.

"Y/N, get down!" Hotch jumped in front of you just as you heard a gun being fired. He fell into you, slumping against your body. Everything happened so quickly.

"FBI, drop your weapon!" Morgan yelled, running closer to the man in the shadows.

He quickly handcuffed the partner, leading him to a waiting officer while Emily collected the other unsub.

"Aaron?" You looked at him in your arms noticing the blood soaking through his light blue shirt. "I need a medic!" You called down the alley, watching in terror as two medics removed Aaron from your arms.

You were frozen in place as they put him on a gurney and pushed him into a waiting ambulance.

It wasn't until the ambulance was completely out of sight that you realized Reid was talking to you.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" He gestured to the blood on your dress and hands.

You nodded silently, pointing to where the ambulance just was.

"Let's get you to the hospital okay?" He spoke softly, not wanting to add to your distress. He grabbed a shock blanket from a paramedic before leading you to an SUV. Derek and Emily sat in the front, ready to drive as soon as you got in.

You don't remember the ride to the hospital. You don't remember JJ helping you wash the blood from your hands. You don't remember a nurse updating you on Hotch's surgery. You don't remember anything except the look in Aaron's eyes as he bled out in your arms.

"Aaron Hotchner?" The doctor called out into the waiting room. All six of you stood up, eyes fixed on the woman in scrubs. "His surgery was successful. I can take one of you to see him."

The whole team gestured to you, knowing how you felt and how much you needed to see that he was okay.

"Follow me." The doctor lead you down the winding hallways to a recovery room where Aaron was asleep. "He's still under anesthesia for now. It should wear off in a few hours."

You nodded as she left, still unable to form any words as you took in his pale appearance.

"Aaron." You whispered his name, eyes brimming with tears. You pulled the chair as close as you could next to his bed, both hands wrapped around one of his.

You must've fallen asleep because before you knew it, the hand in your grasp was squeezing you back.

"Aaron?" You lifted your head from the side of his bed, eyes focusing on his. "Oh, thank God." You felt the tears brimming again.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm okay." He murmured softly, moving his free hand to wipe your tears.

"No. You're an idiot who jumped in front of a bullet for me." You whispered back, voice breaking.

"I'd do it again." He took no time to craft his response, only causing more tears to fall down your cheeks.

"Aaron-"

"Y/N, I don't have anyone else in my life quite like you. I haven't in a long time." His eyes never left yours as he spoke. "You make me feel like I could be happy again. Like Jack could have two people to provide him unconditional love everyday in his life again. Like maybe, just maybe, I could love someone again. I would jump in front of countless bullets for you because I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"Please don't." You whispered, eyes still watery.

"What?" Hotch could feel his heart breaking at the thought of you not returning his affection.

"Please don't jump in front of anymore bullets for me. I don't think I could survive this feeling again." You took a deep, shuddering breath. "Watching them wheel you away on that gurney... it felt like my heart was being cut open. Aaron, there's not a day that goes by where you don't make me smile. Even if it's just the thought of you. I can't imagine my life without you either."

He continued to wipe tears from your face as you spoke.

"Would now be a good time to ask you out to dinner?" He smiled when you laughed.

"I think now is a great time for that." You smiled, leaning your head into his hand.

"Perfect. So, will you get dinner with me?" He nearly whispered.

"I'd love to." You pressed a soft kiss to his lips before setting back against your chair.

It didn't take long for him to fall back asleep. This time, when you leaned your head against his leg, your heart felt full.

Permanent taglist:

@averyhotchner

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@strawberryspence

@sebastnstn

Criminal Minds taglist:

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@measure-in-pain

[babymetaldoll]

Birthday wishes (Spencer Reid/ Reader)

Requested: Nope

Summary: Spencer overthinks Reader’s birthday present ‘cos he doesn't know if they are dating or not

Warnings: No… maybe a few sexual references but nothing too explicit. 

Category: Pure sweet, delicious fluff 

Word count: 3,2K

Part II

Masterlist

.

What makes a relationship official? Are you just "going out" o "just seeing each other" after five dates? Five incredible, unique, perfect dates? or do you have to ask: "Would you be my girlfriend?"

Spencer rolled in bed and kept asking himself questions he couldn't answer. Were he and (Y/N) a couple? So far, he hadn't asked, ‘cos he was scared, which made no sense, ‘cos he had already asked her out and they had already kissed. Besides, they had already met for five years, which meant, well, it felt like they were already a little ahead on the "getting to know each other" part.

So, after five dates, were they already dating? Were they exclusive? Could he tell her he loved her? No, probably no. Who could he ask about it? No one in the team knew what was going on between them. They didn't want to tell them. It was too soon. Besides, Spencer didn't even know if they were an actual couple.

Reid kept rolling in bed. It was already three in the morning. He was overthinking everything, and he knew it. But it was (Y/N)'s birthday, and the present he had for her was hunting him. He couldn't shake the thought he had gone a little too far with it. He wanted to give her that present ever since he saw it, months ago. He bought it and kept it hidden in his closet. He had no idea why he was hiding it if no one was ever in his house. No one but (Y/N), but she never went through his things. If so, she would have found the picture of her he also had hidden in his drawer.

It was a picture of the two of them sitting together at the round table in the BAU conference room. They were eating a cupcake, and their lips were covered in frosting. They were laughing. They were happy. It was Penelope's birthday, and they had thrown her a surprise breakfast celebration. JJ had taken that picture, and secretly, Spencer asked her for a copy.

When they were just friends, he didn't overthink that present, he just got it for her. But now everything was different. And he was scared of every movement he did around her, terrified he could frighten her away.

- "Stop!"- he commanded himself and closed his eyes. He had to sleep at least an hour, or the rings under his eyes were going to scare (Y/N) away. Not like she hadn't seen him looking like he hadn't slept before.

.

Penelope had baked a gigantic Halloween themed birthday cake, ‘cos he knew (Y/N) was a sucker for horror movies. It had pumpkins, a Jason mask, and a knife stabbing the cake. It was perfect. JJ and Emily brought presents and more food. Everyone had helped to make sure her day was special. Derek decorated her desk with balloons and confetti, got her a funny birthday paper crown, and wrote "pretty girl" with his terrible handwriting. It was adorable. She was like a little sister to him, and he just wanted to make her smile.

And Reid, well, he… he was all over the place. Hanging more balloons all over the bullpen and making sure all the food was ready. He actually got there an hour and a half earlier than everybody, just to make sure everything was set.

No one got how he could think he was fooling them about his feelings for (Y/N). To be fair, he wasn't trying at this point. He was now too concerned not to scare her away by accidentally saying "I love you" or saying they were in a relationship, ‘cos he didn't know if they were. All those things Spencer could quickly fix asking, but he was too scared to ask.

.

- "Happy birthday!!!"- Penelope yelled as soon as (Y/N) set foot outside the elevator. She was greeted by her friend's tight hug, and along came the rest of the team.

- "Thank you so much!! Thank you!"- she was moved by all the love they gave her, they were her family far from home, and they meant the world to her.

- "Hey! happy birthday"- Spencer was the last one to hug her; he waited until everybody had walked back to the conference room. She smiled and bit her lips as he moved a step closer and wrapped his arms around her.

Those arms made her feel safe and loved, and it was an addictive sensation; she didn't want to quit. She was a self-declared addict to Spencer Reid, and the latest weeks had been the best of her life. But she still felt she was walking on eggshells around Reid. She loved him so much, and she was scared, 'cos she thought she might say it too soon. Was it too soon considering they had known each other for the last five years? she had been in love with him for the last four and a half years. But yes, it was too soon.

They hadn't even had sex yet.

Sex with Reid. That was a thought that had kept her awake many nights. It kept coming to her mind, especially when he held her the way he was doing now. She could feel herself melting to his touch, and the idea of feeling his skin against hers, the idea of being naked with him. The thought of having him inside of her was too much to process. If kissing him was breathtaking, having sex with him had to be heaven.

- "So, happy birthday"- he repeated and smiled at her, still holding her tight but now staring at her blushed cheeks.

- "Thank you"- she giggled nervously and looked down

- "I hope you are hungry, ‘cos we've got a whole breakfast party ready for you"- she nodded, but neither of them moved- "Garcia really went overboard with everything she brought…"

Why would Reid hide the fact he had gotten half the things on that table? Something inside him kept forcing him to hide his true feelings for (Y/N) 'cos he was still sure she would reject him. Again, they had been into five dates, held hands, kissed, looked at each other with puppy eyes for hours over dinner. Why did he feel he needed to hide his feelings?

- "And maybe we could go out tonight…"- he whispered as they walked to the conference room- "I would love to take you out for dinner on your birthday"- (Y/N) turned to him with the brightest smile and nodded.

- “Sounds like an excellent plan”

.

- "And where's your present, pretty boy?"- Derek asked Reid frowning after (Y/N) finished opening all the presents the team had gotten her.

- "I…"- he had an awful excuse- "I left it at home, I'm sorry."

No one was ever going to believe that. He knew it

- "I was…. well, I had a lot of things to bring, and I left it on my table, but I'll bring it over later, ok?"- (Y/N) just nodded and smiled, thinking they had a date later. But the rest of the team was confused. Reid would never forget something. Never, eidetic memory, he was doomed.

- "Are you ok?"- JJ walked to him as they cleaned the table after breakfast and looked at him, worried.

- "Yeah, why?"

- "You look nervous"- Spencer even stuttered to answer

- "I, I, I'm not nervous, JJ, I don't know what you are talking about"

- "Spence, come on… tell me, what is it? What happened with (Y/N)? why didn't you bring the present you had for her?"

Reid sighed. He knew he could trust JJ. He was just… ashamed of sharing his feelings with someone.

- "I didn't forget it"- he whispered- "I want to give it to her later."

- "Later? when?"- he stayed quiet for a few seconds and then took a deep breath

- "Wehaveadatetonight"- Spencer slurred and closed his eyes, ‘cos he didn't want to look at JJ's face

- "What? Sorry, I couldn't understand that"- he sighed, frustrated

- "I said, we are goingoutonadatetonight"- it took her a second to understand it, but when she did, JJ wide opened her eyes and looked at her friend in shock- "Don't say a word"

- "But oh my god!! Spencer!"

- "Shh!! please don't say a word!"

- "Spence! It's huge! It's your first date!! When did it happen? when did you finally ask her?"

… And Spencer actually thought no one knew about his feelings.

- "It's not… our first date"- he whispered and looked at his shoes. JJ stood next to him in shock and hit his arm as her mouth fell open.

- "JJ, please, I'm just telling you ‘cos I trust you I don't want anyone else to know?"- he begged

- "How many dates so far?"

- "Six, including tonight."

- "Oh my god! are you two together??"- JJ was making her best not to yell, but she was in shock. However, she realized it was a sensitive subject for Spencer. She wanted to make her best not to make him feel uncomfortable.

- "We've been going out for a few weeks now, but…"- Spencer made a pause and sighed- "How do you know when you are in a relationship with someone?"

- "Usually, you talk about it… you haven't?"- his silence was too long, enough sign for JJ to get he hadn't had that conversation.

- "Ok, you should ask her, Spence. If you've been out on several dates already, it means she likes you the same way you like her."

- "But I love her…"- Reid looked at her friend with puppy eyes. He was honestly anxious about the whole situation and couldn't say another word.

- "She is crazy for you; you have to believe me"

- "I know she likes me, but it's nerve-wracking to feel you love someone who just likes you"

- "Believe me, Spence, she doesn't just like you"- he just sighed and nodded, not because he believed her, but because he didn't want to persuade that conversation. However, JJ wasn't going to let it go so quickly.

- "So… what did you get her?"

- "It's nothing, just something I thought she might like"- he tried to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal.... like he wasn't freaking out. But he was dying inside.

- "What is it?"

- "A necklace…"- JJ nodded, surprised- "And a ring"- surprise was not enough to describe her face. Shock might have been closer. Yes, JJ was in shock.

- "Are you going to…"

- "No! no, no, I'm not, I mean, it's too soon to…. I just don't want her to feel pushed, I bought her the present months ago, and I never thought we were going to be … well, whatever it is that we are now… that's why I need to know where we are now… I don't want to blow it."

Spencer bit his inner lip and pouted. He was upset, he was having a hard time explaining his feelings and his mind, and most of all, a hard time sharing what he was feeling. JJ smiled at him and simply shook her head, with an honest, proud look in her eyes.

- "I know it sounds scary, but the only way to know is asking her"- he just nodded and let out a deep breath. That wasn't the answer he was waiting for.

.

(Y/N) looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. She was glad no psycho killer had decided to start attacking innocent that night, ‘cos it meant she could actually go out on a date with Reid. Their sixth date. Usually, the sixth date meant sex for her. But she had no idea what it meant for Spencer, and she wasn't going to push him. She just couldn't shake the thought off her mind, but she had to. Thinking about sex with Reid was too much.

- "Wow"- that was all Spencer managed to say as soon as (Y/N) opened the door for him. He looked at her up and down. His eyes couldn't stop running through every inch of her skin. It was like the dress was hugging her body, wrapping her and following every curve of it. He couldn't believe someone so beautiful wanted to go out with him.

- "You look very handsome"- (Y/N) smiled and chuckled. Reid just shook his head and stared.

- "Come in, just let me get my purse and put on some shoes, and I'll be ready to go."

Spencer couldn't speak. He just nodded and watched her walking to her room. He couldn't even be subtle at that point. He couldn't and wouldn't stop staring. Not if she was going to look so hot.

The thought of having sex with his best friend was hunting his mind since they were on their third date. That was the very first time they made out on her couch. They hadn't even passed second base, but for Spencer, that had been enough to start fantasizing about how it would be, how it would felt, and… when it would be.

- "Buttercup?"- he asked and couldn't see (Y/N)'s wide smile as soon as she heard that word. She loved it when he called her cute names. It made her feel special and closer. She had always called him "honey" even before they started going out. After their second date, Spencer had finally seemed comfortable calling her that.

- "What is it, honey?"- she asked, walking out of her room, wearing her favorite shoes and carrying a tiny purse.

- "I just wanted to… give you your birthday present before we leave"- Spencer smiled at her, and she could tell he was nervous.

- "Sure… thank you, by the way."

- "I still haven't given you the present. Why are you thanking me for?"

- "‘Cos you organized the best breakfast celebration the BAU had ever seen"- she simply answered, and her smile stopped his heart for a second.

- "You deserve it"- he simply replied, standing right in front of her. He could only think about leaning in and kissing her, but he was so nervous, he just stared at her, feeling his hands sweating.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah, it's just that… sorry, you look stunning, and I can't stop looking at you"- (Y/N) felt her cheeks burning red in a second. Spencer Reid had just told her she was beautiful. That wasn't something she was used to, but she would gladly live the rest of her days hearing him saying it.

Slowly, (Y/N) wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck and moved closer, not taking her eyes from his.

- "Can I ask for a birthday kiss?"- the way she whispered those words did things to Reid. Things he didn't know how to handle just yet. All he managed to do was to smile and reach her lips. It started like a sweet, loving kiss, but soon it changed. It was getting harder and harder for the two of them to hide their true feelings.

That kiss was screaming: "I love you." It was hungry and also filled with the deepest desire. It wasn't plain lust. It was the eagerness to feel the one you love as close as possible, for as long as possible.

- "Are these "birthday kisses" a limited edition, or can I keep asking for them for as long as I want?"- she murmured, rubbing her lips against his.

- "All the kisses you want, as long as you want them"- Spencer whispered and deepened the kiss as a soft moan left (Y/N)'s lips. That was music for him, the music he wanted to listen to all day long, if possible.

They had saved way too many kisses during those years. They could kiss forever, just to catch up. But there were dinner reservations and a present in between. So the kisses had to wait a little bit.

- "I got you this"- Spencer whispered and moved his lips from hers, smiling at the soft whine that came from her as soon as he did.

- "I thought about you when I saw them a few months ago ‘cos I knew you would love them, and I've been saving them for today"- he opened his satchel and handed her a small box.

- "Thank you, honey"- (Y/N) was blushing, trying not to show she was so nervous. It wasn't just because of all the kisses. It was because now she knew he had thought about her months ago, and got her a present. That was melting her.

(Y/N) was speechless when she opened the box. She looked at him. He was blushed and excited at the same time.

- "Spencer… you shouldn't have"

- "You deserve to have these; do you like them?"

- "Of course I do, you were right, I love them… would you?"- (Y/N) handed Spencer the necklace, and he clasped it around her neck. She looked at the ring and smiled, sliding it in her finger.

- "I didn't want you to feel I'm pushing you to…"

- "No, honey, it's ok. I know you didn't mean anything like that"- she was blushing as well, but loving the gesture- "It's beautiful, Spencer."

- "No, you are beautiful"- (Y/N) giggled at his words and sighed

- "No, you are beautiful"- she repeated and hugged him again.

Spencer looked at her in adoration and ran his fingers sweet and carefully down her rosy cheeks. 

- "I... wanted to ask you something"

- "What is it?"- that was it. It was now or never for Spencer.

- "Do you… want… do you want to be…"- Spencer was trying to say it without stuttering- "Would you be my girlfriend?"- her smile made him sigh relieved, as she leaned in and kissed him softly.

- "Of course I would…"- he held her closer and pecked her lips once, twice, three, four times, before cupping her face with both hands, deepening the kiss.

- "Do you want to know something funny?"- she whispered when Spencer rested his forehead on hers and looked at her in adoration

- "What?"

- "That was my birthday wish."

- "What?"

- "I wished you'd ask me to be your girlfriend."

Reid smiled and sighed. He held her hand and kissed it, speechless, thinking he had been a fool for holding that question for so long.

- "Do you want to know what I wish for right now?"- she whispered and smiled- "I'm wishing we were having dinner 'cos I'm starving."

Spencer chuckled and shook his head.

- "Come on, Buttercup, let's get you the best birthday dinner"- he walked with her to the door but stopped when he felt her pulling his arm. 

- "And do you think we could come back here after dinner?"

- "Sure, what do you have in mind? Wanna watch a movie?"- but she shook her head.

- "I wanna kiss you until I can't move my lips anymore"- she confessed- "Now that you are my boyfriend, I think I can say those kinds of things, right?

Reid was in shock, his mouth hanging open, his red cheeks burning. And his girlfriend - he loved the idea of calling her that - smiling in front of him.

- "Would you like to do that, doctor?"

 - "What if we ask for take-outs and stay on that couch all night long?"- he simply answered, finally not overthinking every word.

- "I thought you would never ask."

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

liar liar pt. 2

request: I have a request, the reader is dating Spencer, and she and JJ are the ones that know that Emily faked her death. I’m thinking of it taking place in “It Takes A Village,” and she has to deal with Spencer being upset with her, like he was with JJ, but it has a fluff ending? Thanks!

for: @flklrevrmre

word count: 2,192                                                                                     reading time approx: 9 mins

a/n: i hope you enjoy this ending ;) and i’m elated to have so many new friends on my taglist.

masterlist

pt. 1

My ring finger traced the circumference of the wine glass I was drinking out of, while my eyes followed the marble trails of Rossi’s countertop. The team was giggling and chatting amongst themselves as I secluded myself. My thoughts were captured by my insecurities, paralyzing every fun bone I had in my body. Occasionally, I would contribute to their conversations, but only enough that I didn’t make myself seem bereaved. 

After a while, it became apparent that I wasn’t participating in the festivities, which conjured Emily and JJ to step away from the group, joining me. “Hey…” JJ eased into small talk, stuffing her hands into her pocket as she approached me. I replied with a light smile, their presence uplifting my current state. 

I knew what they wanted to say. I knew what they were going to ask. 

Spencer. 

“How are you holding up Y/N?” Emily hesitantly brought herself into the conversation. They both gazed at me with doe eyes, tenderness evident in their touch as they resided beside me. 

I took my lip in between my teeth, shaking my head as the fatigue had finally caught up to me. My chest throbbed from being sore all week, my shoulders were frail from being uneasy all the time, and my heart burned with self-reproach. With every passing day, I felt my limbs grow limp and my soul go numb. In contradiction, the two halves of my brain battled one another till my doubts were left to torment me further. 

With the silent response, JJ and Emily shared glances of disquietude, pondering their next steps. “Y/N?” JJ called out softly, laying a tender hand on top of mine. “You took a burden alone. That doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone,” she murmured, nodding to Emily. 

“Y/N, I can’t help but feel like this is my fault,” Emily lamented. “I just...tell me that there’s a way I can help.” 

“There’s nothing either of you can do…” I smiled bitterly, glancing at both of them. I squeezed JJ’s hand, feeling a film cast over my eyes. “And Emily, you had to protect Declan,” I empathize, using my other hand to pull her into a side hug. “I would’ve done the same.” 

“I can tell,” Emily looked at me with somber reverence. “Especially for what you did for Spence.” 

Another pang hit the center of my chest, making my ribcage sting. The mention of his name made my skin crawl instead of making my heart flutter like it used to. I wordlessly winced at Emily’s notice, trying to conceal it the best I can. “And I would do it again,” I declared, meaning every word. “I’d burn the entire world if it meant making sure that he isn’t alone. I...I know what it feels like to be confined in your head--it’s something me and him share. It’s a merciless place.” 

“You really do love him, don’t you?” 

“More than I can ever fathom.” 

I  stared at the ceiling, letting my tears travel back inside of my head. I shut my eyes, feeling a deep burn envelop my eyelids from all the crying I’ve done previously. “I spoke to him,” Emily brought up. 

My attention instantly shifted to her, prompting her to elaborate. “I spoke to him when we wrapped up that case in New York,” she explained. I unknowingly leaned over, listening intently to her story. “We had a conversation about everything--you. I won’t get into details because that’s between you and Spencer, but I did encourage him to come tonight.” 

My nerves did small somersaults, unable to process the new piece of information. “Are you sure?” I falteringly asked. 

“I’m sure he’ll come.” 

But he didn’t. 

A few hours had passed, and there was no evidence of Spencer’s attendance. With another disappointment, the burden of my thoughts pried at my most vulnerable parts. 

I had enough. 

I rose from my seat, bidding everyone adieu as I excused myself to the backyard. Amid the formalities, I assured everyone of my well-being and that I would return soon. Their persistent objections were loud, loud enough to stifle the opening of the front door as I stepped outside.

I felt the cool air caress my shoulders while crickets chirped a nightly symphony. The moon glowed with elegance, and stars painted the sky in an ethereal light. From a distance, it looked as if the planets were mere neighbors greeting one another. 

It was beautiful; it took me out of the confines of my mind. 

Chatter can still be heard in the background, but somehow it blended nicely with the lively sounds of night creatures. Although what I didn’t realize was the thump of approaching footsteps behind me. 

“Hey,” muttered a hushed voice. 

The instant I recognized the presence, my entire body stiffened. The inside lights cast a shadow on the wooden porch I sat on, displaying a lanky silhouette on the ground. I couldn’t bring myself to move, let alone speak. My tongue was pierced against the roof of my mouth, petrified to unpack the situation at hand. 

He responded to my silence with a reluctant step towards me. Even in our circumstances, I can still feel his presence lingering on the soft skin of my back, making the little hairs stand. Our proximity was slowly closing in with every soft thud until he was eventually situated next to me. 

I unconsciously looked over my shoulder, opposite of him, to avoid his curious stare. I shut my eyes, isolating myself in my mind in the hopes that this was a dream. But the frequent trembles of my stomach told me otherwise. 

“Y/N?” he called out delicately. “Y/N...please,” he attempted to brush my hand with his fingers, but by instinct, I retracted them with swiftness. A bolt of electricity shot up my arm from Spencer’s touch, a cruel remeberance of the fervor we used to share. My fingertips shivered at the loss of contact, but the static sensation remained. 

“Y/N, I know that you probably don’t want to talk to me--and you have every right to…” he babbled. “...but I just--please just listen to me.” 

But I refused, every word that fell from his supple lips made the echo in my head boisterous. 

I was a mistake. 

I was a mistake. 

I was a mistake. 

I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling my abdomen clench in misery. The sensation traveled deep into my chest, pulling me in different directions. My throat cinched up, and the coldness wandered all over my body. Every muscle in me cried out in anguish, unable to persevere through the exhaustion that I’ve let consume me. 

“Y/N-” 

“Please just go…” I whispered, choking on the aching sobs rising in my esophagus. 

“I’ll leave...I promise,” he muttered in a pained voice. “But just...please, let me say this.” 

Newfound tears threatened to spill over my eyes, the sorrow in his voice creating a void in me. With the little compassion I had left, I turned around facing his direction. Although I didn’t dare to acknowledge his gaze, instead, I settled my attention on the wood below. 

“I know that it’s hard to get through to me, and I know I get stuck in my head,” he began, lowering his head. “You and I both know how hopeless it gets being alone there.” 

He twiddled his fingers as he spoke, an implication of his distress. An infinitesimal part of me still yearned to comfort the man, to ease his worries away, but I didn’t have to courage to do so. 

“When I get into that space, I get...I get frightened by the doubts that my mind conjures up,” he admits. “Everyone looks at me as the genius--the expectation given to me. But, only you and JJ look at me for who I am instead of who I must be for the team.” 

His voice started to crack in between his words, his deliverance laced with dejection and bitterness. I rang my fingers over the textured floorboards, distracting myself from the swelling ache in my heart. 

“But you Y/N…” he whispered, gazing at me with a rueful adoration. “You alone bring so much light into the obscurity of my mind. You...you make all my pains go away with nothing but a glance of your smile, ” he chuckled pitifully. “Y/N, you-” 

“You told me I was mistake…” I croaked, ignoring the sharp twinge in my throat. 

I finally met his gaze with a weary expression. His hair was slightly disheveled, and the bags encompassing his eyes were prominent. But it was the torment evident in them that was the most striking. His irises failed to gleam of their usual autumn hazel, and the golden specks scattered across the tender hue were dull. 

“I...I know,” he struggled to admit. “But, I was wrong-” 

“You...you told me I was your biggest mistake,” I reiterated, my voice coming off shaky and unstable. “Reid, you…” I paused, my pitch elevating as a whimper loomed to escape my lips. “You hurt me...so much, Reid.” 

I scoffed, my vision going blurry from impending tears. Spencer hung his head in remorse, combing his hand through his curls as he attempted to keep his composure. An uneasy silence ensued that not even the blissful sounds of wildlife can mask the tautness in the air. 

“I...I know,” he muttered quietly. “JJ, she told me the truth after our...after what happened at the station during the case,” he confessed. “You did all that...you took all the blame, just, so I had someone to be there with me.” 

I sighed, shutting my eyes at his admission. “I didn’t...I couldn’t bear the thought of you going through it alone,” I affirmed. 

“But you…” Spencer paused, shaking his head at himself. “You...did it all alone.” 

All of my guards fell at the utterance of his words. My heart throbbed, and my chest ultimately gave out. Suppressed sobs wracked my entire being, slipping past my tired lips with ease. My head felt faint, and my shoulders slumped. Agony coursed throughout my body, feeling it prick every inch of my skin. 

Spencer shifted next to me in an instant, engulfing me in his arms. There I wailed and cried every tear that was humanly possible. I set free the entrapped painful sentiments I’ve burrowed under my stubbornness, and I let the numbness drift out of my body. All that was left was the carcass of my grief and an apprehensive heart. 

“I’m sorry Y/N...I’m so sorry,” Spencer repeated, cradling me back and forth while he tried to mask his whimpers. 

For most of the night, we stayed in each other’s embrace as the moonlight graced our figures. My face was delved into the cleft of his neck, and his chin laid snugly on my head. The rise and fall of my chest was still erratic, but it was in a much healthier state than before. Our combined breathing was the only distinguishable sound floating in the air after we had steadied ourselves. 

The party inside was subdued, and the chatter was nonexistent. The lights were still on, but it seemed that the team had moved elsewhere to celebrate their festivities. Before long, the quiet around us ceased as Spencer broke the silence. 

“Y/N?” Spencer whispered. 

I nudged my face further into his neck, prompting him to continue. 

“What I said...the horrible things that I told you, you have to know that they’re not true,” he lamented, taking my balled-up fists into his palms. “Y/N, you’re far from a mistake. The biggest mistake I’ve made to date is making you believe that,” he croaked. 

“Spencer...what you did-” 

“Wait--just--let me finish,” he nodded, playing with my hands. “Y/N, you bring color into what I see...yo-you bring color into everything that I do,” he professed, stumbling over his words. “You make it easy to wake up every day and do what we need to do because I know I get to wake up next to you.” 

His lips began to tremble, and his hands began to shake. Instinctively, I cupped his hands and brought them close to my chest. 

“I…I love you...so much, Y/N,” he whimpered. “And I hate myself for making you feel like you were comparable to anyone else, or that you were insignificant.” 

I pressed small kisses to his knuckles, knowing that it would calm him down. I felt a pang hit my torso in Spencer’s discomfort, igniting the part of me that longed to console him. I observed the collapse of his stature and the decomposed state of his demeanor, his appearance visibly in plight. 

“Truth be told, Y/N. You are the most significant thing in my life…” he whispered. “You make me whole.” 

As he finished his declaration, tears welled up in both our eyes for the last time. “Spence…” I breathed, basking in the warmth that his eyes radiated, despite his desperation. 

“Loving you...is one of the greatest thing I will ever do.”

-

taglist: @rexorangecouny @howdycharlie @honeymilk-4 @linthebinbag @andreasworlsboring101 @ssareidbby @kyleetheeditor @tclaerh @jimilogy @lulwaxim @jhillio @m3ssytrash @haylaansmi @meowiemari @ashwarren32​ @spencerwaltergubler​

‘liar liar’ taglist: @lieswithoutfairytales​ @foreveryoungxx3​ @goldentournesol​ @l0ve-0f-my-life​ @kenny-0909​ @andiebeaword​ @hercleverboy​

tags that don’t work: @crazymar15 @nighttimerain123

[cinemassance-oneshots]

Don’t Touch Her—Spencer Reid

Word count: 3.6k

angst and fluff

Synopsis: you and Reid go undercover for a case and it goes wrong. You finally hear how Reid feels about you.

Warnings: mention of violence and gore.

A/N: I’m quite new to one shots, so I hope you enjoy. You are free to send in requests. I am still new to tumblr, so I hope to figure stuff out soon on here. I plan to do more characters, make a master list pinned to my board, and do smut chapters in the future <3

I was originally getting my morning coffee until I got the call from Garcia. I pressed my lips together as she confirmed it was another case before I proceeded to ask what coffee she wanted. If I ever got a call about a case and I was already at a coffee shop, I would grab coffee for the rest of the team. It was only fair, and they would do the same for me. We’re all a family.

I carefully carried the trays of coffee in my hands to the building.

“Do you need a hand?” I didn’t have to look up to see who it was. I would know that voice anywhere.

I turned to look at him with a smile. “That would be great, Spence.”

He shot me a smile as he reached over and grabbed a tray. The brief contact of our skin touching made my heart flutter momentarily.

Without hesitation, Spencer opened the door and let me in. “You shouldn’t spoil us with coffee all the time.”

I shrugged my shoulders as I glanced up at him. “It’s fine. I’m keeping tabs,” I joked. “Don’t worry. I got your coffee how you like. Although, I don’t understand why you insist on dairy since you’re lactose intolerant.”

“What can I say? I like dairy.” “But tummy aches,” I replied. “A little pain is worth it.”

I rolled my eyes at him. He could be so stubborn at times. We stepped into the elevator to go meet the rest of our team. Most of them were already seated at the table.

“You’re such a life-saver,” JJ told me with a grin. I smiled back as I started to hand everyone their coffees.

“Last, but not least,” I said as I turned to face Spencer. “Dr. Reid,” I finished in a softer tone. I could’ve sworn I saw him gulp, but I was probably imagining it.

As soon as everyone showed up, Garcia went on to tell us about the new case. We all flipped through our files as she spoke. It’s not hard to admit this job is difficult, especially with how monstrous some people are.

“Wheels up in 30,” Hotch told us as he left the room.

***

Spencer and I were partnered to go to the coroner’s office. The person went over the details as I looked at the bodies and Spencer read the files.

“Can he really read that fast,” the woman asked me, making me briefly glance up at her.

“Yes,” I replied before looking back at the bodies. “You said the male was most likely hit with an iron chain that was also used to strangle him afterwards?”

“That’s what it points to. Why?”

“Wielding a big chain is a lot harder than most people tend to believe,” Spencer informed as he handed her the file back.

“Here’s the other thing though,” the forensics started to speak, “the female victim had lacerations on her skin from leather. It’s possible she was whipped with leather while he was whipped with a chain.”

“We could be looking at two unsubs,” I thought out loud as I looked up at Spencer. He nodded.

“I think so too.” “I’ll call Hotch.”

I stepped outside of the room as I called him. Not long after Hotch answered. “What did you guys find?”

“We’re looking for two unsubs. One is strong enough to wield an iron chain as a whip and the other is weaker since they used a leather whip on the female victim.”

“Thanks. If you and Reid find anything else, let me know.”

And with that, the call ended. I found my way back to Spencer to catch up on any more details he learned. He caught me up on the information, which shocked forensics to see he spoke every detail verbatim.

We thanked the woman before leaving to head to the precinct to catch up with the team.

“What are you thinking Reid?” I glanced over at him as I drove. It was as if I could see the wheels turning in his head.

“I know it seems weird, but I think it might be a couple who committed these murders.”

“So the guy kills the male and the girl kills the female. They probably get off on watching each other torture and kill their victim.”

“The male uses a chain to beat and kill the guy showing his dominance and strength.”

“And the woman uses a leather whip which is usually associated with BDSM.”

“Exactly,” Spencer agreed.

As soon as Spencer and I got to the precinct, we told the team what we came up with and what forensics showed. We all went around putting in our input based on the evidence all of us gathered and learned.

Unfortunately, that’s when we all received news there were more victims just found.

I went with Emily and Morgan to look at the crime scene. The victimology was the same. The male was brutally tortured and killed with a metal chain and the female with a leather whip. It’s unsettling to know there are couples who do these things together, let alone a single person.

Once we returned to meet with the rest of the team, we learned each couple went to the same bar the night they went missing. It was no coincidence. That bar meant something to that couple. With all the information we gather, we were finally ready to deliver the profile.

After it was delivered, Hotchner began to talk about a plan he had in mind.

“We need to set up an undercover operation for tonight,” Hotch spoke. “We’ll have multiple people stationed throughout the area to keep an eye out.”

Everyone nodded. Everyone understood the plan.

“Two of my agents will be the ones going undercover. I need as many others as possible to be around the area ready to catch this couple. Be careful and aware of everything, but remember to be subtle. We don’t want to announce our presence before they’ve made themselves known. Any alarm could ruin this.”

And with that the plan was set in motion.

Hotch pulled me and Spencer aside to speak with us. “I need you two to go undercover as the couple.”

I almost wanted to look at Spencer and imagine it was all real. I desperately wanted to know what it would be like to be with him, but I made sure to keep my mind fixated on the case at hand.

JJ helped me get ready. I wasn’t exactly great at doing my makeup myself, so I was glad she helped.

“Try to explain to me why you and Reid aren’t dating in real life again,” she asked with a small smirk.

“I don’t know..,” I softly said.

That was the truth. I didn’t know how to make a move or what to do with Spencer. Every time I thought about it, my palms would sweat profusely and my heart would race that I would have to change the subject in my head.

“I see the way you both look at each other. Trust me, everyone does.”

I quirked a brow. “What?”

JJ let out a small chuckle. “After we close this case, I think you should go for it. I just hope you do it soon, otherwise I’ll lose this bet going on.”

“You have a bet going on about me and Spencer?”

JJ did a sly smile and shrugged her shoulders. “Good luck tonight. We’ll make sure nothing happens to you two.”

“Thanks, JJ.”

I felt a little odd wearing a dress. I prefer slacks or skirts but dresses always felt different to me. I at least felt more secure having one of my smaller guns strapped to my thigh.

“Hey, hot mama,” Derek said with a grin.

I lightly punched his arm. “I can still kick your ass, Morgan.”

He let out a laugh as I rolled my eyes. Hotch walked up and handed me my earpiece. “We’ll be listening to everything. We’ll tell you and Reid if we notice something.”

I nodded as I listened and put the piece in. I let my hair fall over it to help conceal the device.

As soon as Reid walked over, my heart raced at the site of him. It was rare to see him in jeans and a plain button down. He looked good in anything.

Hotch gave him his earpiece as well and told him what he just told me. I almost felt that out of the corner of my eye I saw Reid glance at me a few times.

Spencer and I made our way outside of the precinct to use one of the undercover cars to drive to the place. He got on the drivers side.

“You, uh, look really pretty,” Spencer spoke. His voice came out a little broken and nervous.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I smiled. “Thanks. JJ did a good job.”

I watched as his mouth parted but closed after a second. I wanted so desperately to know what he was planning on saying. Usually he never thought about not speaking once something was on his mind. It made me even more curious.

“You look good too,” I decided to speak. I watched as he gulped and lightly blushed.

“I-I do? I haven’t worn jeans in about 20 years.”

“You always look good,” I mumbled. I was afraid he would hear what I said.

“What?”

“Oh, sorry,” I replied in a fast tone. “I was mumbling to myself.”

“Oh… Okay.”

I glanced over and saw a ghost of a smile on his lips. My heart raced as I asked myself if he heard me or not.

When we arrived at the bar, Spencer opened the door for me like he usually does.

“Such a gentleman.” I smiled and looked up at him.

“Well, you deserve the best.”

My heart fluttered. Did he mean himself? Was he trying to be the best he could? For me?

He held out his hand before I grasped it in my own. I couldn’t deny that it was a wonderful feeling holding his hand. Mine felt so small in his.

We walked inside to find it crowded. Apparently it was a popular bar. It was also happy hour, so that explained a lot of things.

“What would you like to drink,” Spencer leaned in and asked me. His breath on my skin sent exciting shivers down my back.

“Cranberry juice. That way it looks like I might be drinking a mixed drink,” I whispered to him. He nodded.

I don’t know how long we were there, but it felt like a while. Spencer and I sat at the bar sipping our drinks, talking, and looking around inconspicuously.

I leaned in and whispered into Spencer’s ear. “I don’t know if this will be enough to attract them. But when I pull away, act as if I said something enticing to you.”

When I pulled away, I saw a smile on Spencer’s lips as he looked at me.

“I’ve never seen you two in before.”

Spencer and I turned to see a guy in his mid-30’s holding two beers.

“We’re just visiting. We had to try this place out because we kept hearing so many good things,” I replied with a smile.

“We always love welcoming new people. I’m John, by the way. That’s my fiancé Cindy over there.”

He turned and pointed to a blonde woman seated at a table who waved over at us with a bright smile.

“Fiancé? Congratulations,” I told him. “When is the special day?”

“We’re still settling on one. You both are more than welcome to join us at our table.”

I looked over at Spencer to meet his eyes. “Does that sound good, Matt?”

He nodded with a smile as we walked over and joined them at the table.

“Hi, I’m Cindy,” the woman said with a smile.

“June.” “Matt.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both. I hope John wasn’t bothering you. We’ve just never seen your faces around here before.”

“We’re visiting,” I answered.

Something in my gut told me this was them, but I didn’t have any proof. Yet.

We spoke with them a for a while. Without thinking, I reached under the table and searched for Spencer’s hand. It was almost like he knew because his hand found mine and squeezed it reassuringly.

“How about another round of drinks,” John asked as he stood up.

“I’ll come with,” Spencer replied as he stood up.

They left leaving me and Cindy alone. “You’re a lucky girl,” she told me.

“You are too. You and John look so happy together.”

“But the way Matt looks at you,” she spoke and bit her lip lightly. “John never looks at me that way. You got yourself a winner.”

“I think we both do.”

I suddenly had a nausea wave over me. “Woah, hun! You okay there?”

“Yeah, I, um—where’s the restroom?”

“Here, I’ll help you. You don’t look so good.”

I didn’t have time to think since I felt like I was about to puke any second. Cindy stood up and helped me stumble my way to the restroom.

I rushed into a stall and immediately threw up. I plucked the piece out of my ear and held it in my palm so the others wouldn’t have to listen to me puking. I know I wouldn’t want to listen to it.

I slumped over after I finished.

“Are you finished yet?”

I could barely form a word as I glanced over and saw the end of a barrel. How could I be so stupid? I just hoped someone would come crashing into the bathroom to get her, but no one came.

“Get up,” she told me.

I could barely stand as I did what she told me to do. I briefly looked around and noticed the restroom didn’t look like a public one but a single person one. I cursed myself in my head.

She grasped my arm tightly and held the gun to my side. “Walk with me like normal and I won’t kill you right here. I want to at least have some fun before I do that.”

There was excitement laced in her voice. It made me sick again hearing it. How someone could be so excited to kill something else. Another human being.

I was led to a van. Every step I prayed someone would come help. Anyone.

I was shocked inside with the door immediately closed behind me. I threw up again. I couldn’t think of when my drink could’ve been drugged.

My legs and arms felt numb as I slumped onto the floor of the van. I wanted to reach for my gun or do something, but my body wouldn’t let me.

I could barely make out the sound of Spencer’s voice as he clung onto me.

“What did you do to her,” he demanded. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so angry.

“Relax, why don’t you,” John snapped. “She’ll be conscious enough soon.”

And with that, Spencer went unconscious beside me after the end of a gun butted against his temple.

***

My eyelids flickered open adjusting to the lightly. My arms were tied being my back with rope. I looked over to find an unconscious Spencer. I knew my gun was snatched away by them, so the hopes with that were gone.

I softly spoke his name as I tried to move closer to him. A hum left his throat as his head slightly moved. I nudged him lightly a few times.

As soon as his eyes opened, they landed on me with a worried expression.

“Did they hurt you?”

I shook my head as I looked at the small patch of blood on his temple.

“Is your head okay?”

“It’ll be fine… I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Spence.”

“I should’ve paid attention more, then we wouldn’t be here. I could’ve done more to protect us, protect you,” he said as he looked away.

“Spence, look at me,” I pleaded. “None of this is your fault. We’ll get out of this.”

I looked around, but we were in a completely bare room with nothing that could help us. When I looked back at Spencer, he was looking at me.

“Why are you looking at me that way?”

“I want to make sure the imprint of your features are engraved in my brain in case something happens.”

How could he make my heart swarm in a situation like this?

“This might sound insanely morbid, but if I had to die with anyone, I’m glad you’re the last person I’ll see.”

A small chuckle left his throat. I loved that sound so much.

“That is extremely morbid, but I understand what you mean... I have to tell you something.”

I stayed silent to let him know I was listening. I watched as he glanced down and swallowed hard.

“I want you to know that I’ve liked you ever since you joined the team… I regret never doing anything about it. I guess I was scared.”

Spencer slowly looked back up at me. I almost felt like I was going to cry from both the situation and finally hearing those words leave his mouth.

“I like you too, Spence.”

I wanted to say more, but the door busted open and the couple walked in.

“Well, ain’t that precious,” John said in an amused tone.

Cindy walked closer to me. I tried to move away, but I was helpless.

“Don’t touch her,” Spencer demanded as he lunged forward but was held back my John.

“You don’t get to make demands. I can’t wait to see you watch her die. Cindy is amazing with her craft.”

I felt sick at his words as she wrapped a hand around my throat. Her grasp tightened as she pulled me up. John ordered Spencer to get up as well as they led us to another room.

Spencer was forced into a chair and was tied down as my arms were lifted above me to be locked to a chain.

I watched with disgust as Cindy stroked Spencer’s face. “Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this one. He loves her so much.”

She smiled wickedly as she glanced up from beside him. “I can’t wait to see the look on your face when she takes her last breath. I’m getting turned on just thinking about it.”

“Kill me first,” his voice broke out.

“What?”

“Kill me first. It should be me.”

I yanked on the chain as tears threatened to stream down my cheeks. I wanted to scream at him for saying such a thing.

Cindy stood up as she hummed. “I thought John told you that you don’t get to make demands.”

I kept my eyes on Spencer that I didn’t even notice her pick up her whip. It wasn’t until the first slash cut into my skin that I noticed.

A cry erupted from my mouth as my eyes squeezed shut.

Spencer screamed out as he tried to get out of the chair to help in some way. Tears poured down both of our faces.

I could feel my own blood run down my skin as the slashes kept coming. It soaked my torn clothing and my body. My throat finally started to feel hoarse from my cries. My legs couldn’t even keep my body up. Only the chain kept me up.

“FBI, put your weapons down!”

I could barely raise my head to see what was going on. I heard a shot ring out before I felt hands on me.

Spencer gently held me and made sure to not touch the cuts as someone else freed my wrists from the chains. I fell into his arms as he kept me up.

“I need a medic,” he cried out.

My heartbeat was going incredibly fast. The pain was unbearable.

“Someone get a medic now!”

Everything was a blur. One moment I was in Spencer’s arms, then I was in an ambulance with Spencer holding my hand firmly in his before I went unconscious.

***

I woke up in a hospital bed.

I felt something beside me and saw Spencer’s hand holding mine with his head slumped over on the bed asleep. A small smile formed on my lips.

I moved to readjust as I felt a wave of pain sear throughout my body. I hissed at the sensation, which immediately woke Spencer up.

“What’s wrong?” He instantly asked as he looked at me with a worried expression.

“Just the pain,” I replied.

I saw guilt wash over his face as he looked down. His hand left mine. It felt cold and lonely without his touch.

“It’s my fault you’re like this.”

“Hey,” I reached up to hold his face with my hand closest to him, “None of this is your fault. Don’t you dare feel guilty about any of this. You did everything you could.”

Spencer reached up and grabbed my hand. He brought it back to the bed and held it in both of his hands.

“I’m so sorry.”

I gave his hand a light squeeze. “I’ll let the others know you’re awake.”

I grasped his hand tighter to stop him. “In a little bit. I just want to be with you right now.”

Spencer sat back down as he nodded.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything,” he said as he looked up and gave me his full attention.

I took a deep breath before I parted my lips to speak. “Did you mean everything you said back there?”

His brows furrowed together. “I meant every word. I would never lie to you.”

My heart fluttered at his words. It made me so happy to hear him say that despite all the pain I was currently in. In a way, having him beside me and talking with him made the pain easier.

“I, um, was wondering if maybe we could try a real date once you’re better and everything,” Spencer softly spoke as he looked down at our hands. I smiled at how cute he was being.

“I’d love that.”

[cacoetheswriting]

for you and i

Pairings: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Warnings: honestly just pure fluff, mild swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, implied smut (nothing graphic) Word Count: 2.2k Summary: A small collection of moments throughout reader’s and Spencer’s evolving relationship that features their song. A/N: this symbol ~~ signifies a time jump.

A/N: i finished my rewatch of bones last night (im hella emotional), and one of my favourite “running gags” from the show is hot blooded being booths and brennans song, and how the writers reminded us of that from season to season. it definitely definitely inspired me to write this. also i did this instead of working on my assignment as a birthday gift from me to me lmao ENJOY

-

The plane trip back home was completely silent.

Morgan and JJ were catching up on much needed sleep. Emily, lost in thought, observed the night sky through the small window. Rossi was reading, as Hotch worked his way through some case files.

Spencer sat next to you at the far end of the jet. You were listening to music while his nose was buried in a book. Although you could tell he couldn't really concentrate on the words as the page remained unturned for the last fifteen minutes.

“Why don’t you let your eyes rest for a minute?” You suggested, carefully taking out one earphone. “A short nap could be good for you. It doesn’t look like you’re retaining any information anyway.”

Spencer nodded slowly, agreeing with you. He shut the novel in his lap and tilted his head to look at you, his lips pursed into a thin shy smile. “You should get some sleep too Y/N.”

“I’m okay.” You replied. “Plus someone has to keep watch in case the jet gets abducted by aliens or something.” A sly grin appeared on your face as Spencer chuckled softly. He rested his head against the chair and gradually closed his eyes.

You watched him for a moment. Examining his perfect features. Your innocent crush growing by the second - something you would never admit out loud in fear it would ruin your friendship.

When you were about to place the earpiece back in your ear, his eyes shot back open. He sighed heavily.

"I actually don’t think I can.” Spencer said quietly and once again turned his attention to you. His gaze briefly landed on the phone in your hands before travelling up to your face. “Did you know that in addition to aiding relaxation and helping with falling asleep quicker as well as improving sleep quality, playing music before bed can improve sleep efficiency? Which means more time you are in bed is actually spent sleeping.” You raised a curious brow waiting for him to continue, but he just asked: “Can I ask what you are listening to?”.

Instead of answering his question, you wiped the dangling earphone against your blouse and handed it to him. He took it, a little hesitantly, and placed it in his ear - the two of you unconsciously shifting closer to one another.

You could tell by the expression on his face that he didn't know the song currently playing, nor did he particularly like it, but he didn't protest or ask you to skip it. In his eyes, you were kind enough to share your source of entertainment therefore he would never push to change what you were clearly enjoying.

The song ended, another began, and another, and another. Eventually Spencer closed his eyes again. The two of you continued to silently listen to the various songs on your playlist - a wild mix of different artists and genres, definitely showcasing your weird music taste.

Touch Me by The Doors began to play.

“I like this one.” Spencer muttered, eyes still closed. “I didn't peg you to be a rock fan.” You stated curiously. Spencer chuckled softly. “I wouldn't call myself a fan per se, this is just a very good song.” “This is actually my favourite song of theirs.” You proclaimed.

Sinking deeper in your seat, you quietly sang along. “What was that promise that you made?” To your pleasant surprise, the young doctor joined in. “Why won't you tell me what she said? What was that promise that you made?” 

Lost in the pure bliss of the moment, you gently rested your head against Spencer’s shoulder. His eyes fluttered open. He glanced down at you and smiled to himself. Yes. Yes, he could definitely get used to this.

~~

“Watch it!!!” You shouted and rudely gestured after the vehicle that overtook you out of nowhere, almost sliding right into your car. Frustrated, you ran your hands through your hair before placing them on the wheel again. A deep sigh escaping your lips in the process.

Spencer chuckled next to you. “Maybe next time I’ll drive.”

“Sorry.” You muttered, tone of your voice changing completely for a moment. “People are just so fucking stupid.” The groan was full of annoyance, and it only made the young doctor snicker louder.

“How about we turn on the radio?” Spencer suggested. “Cool you down a little since we have another hour drive ahead of us, and I would preferably like to get there in one piece.” He teased. You rolled your eyes at his comment, but didn’t protest.

Taking your silence as a yes, Spencer fumbled with the car radio.

‘Come on, come on, come on, come on Now touch me, babe’

Voice of Jim Morrison blared through the speakers. Instantly, your whole body loosened up. No longer feeling annoyed or angry. Driver’s rage dissipated. The frown circling your features was replaced by a happy smile.

‘Can't you see that I am not afraid?’

Stopping at a red light, you looked at Spencer who was lightly bopping his head to the beat of the music. His gentle curls bouncing with his every move.

“You know, the universe is telling us that this is our song now.” You noted. The young doctor met your gaze, and the grin present on his face made your heart skip a beat. A faint hit of nerves cascaded through your body as you anxiously waited for his response.

Spencer shrugged his shoulders slightly. “It’s a good song. The universe could have wished us a lot worse.”

As the light ahead turned green, and you were driving once again, the two of you burst into the chorus as loud as you possibly could: “Now, I'm going to love you! Till the heavens stop the rain!”.

~~

The bar was filled to the brim with people wanting to unwind after a long week of work. That included the BAU team.

“One more for the road!” Morgan exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. He motioned to Hotch for assistance and the two of them briskly walked off in the direction of the bar. “While they’re gone, I’m gonna hop to the loo.” Penelope chimed. “I’ll join you.” JJ spoke up and they hurried off.

Spencer sat beside you, shoulder pressed lightly to yours. He was sipping on the remainder of his drink and you were about to open your mouth to say something, engage him in conversation, when you heard it. The song. Your song.

Your head instantly snapped up at him and a mischievous grin spread on your face. By the time Spencer realised what was going on, you were up on your feet grabbing him by the arm, and pulling him onto the self-made dance floor.

You began to sway along to the music. The alcohol currently flowing through your veins definitely made you that much braver. It also gave Spencer the confidence boost he needed to join you with no objections.

Despite the questionable looks you were undoubtedly receiving, the two of you jumped around like kids. Singing the song out loud to one another. It was as if the world around you disappeared. Like you and Spencer were the only people left in the bar.

‘Till the stars fall from the sky’

And when the night concluded, when everyone said their goodbyes, Spencer continued to hum the melody of your song as he waited with you for the taxi. It was then you chose to make the first move - colliding your lips with his in a carefree kiss.

They were softer than you ever imagined. 

All at once, the attraction between you two and the tension that built up over the years burst. You grabbed onto his jacket pulling him even closer. Suddenly, the cold night air didn’t feel so cold anymore. It was hot, burning like a flame. Your body was on fire and so was his. 

Spencer’s long arms wrapped around you, trapping you in the fire. One of his hands moved lower down your back, while the other tightly gripped your hair. The sensation that he felt was unimaginable. He always imagined what you would taste like, although he never expected anything would happen. He imagined how your body would feel against his. How your lips taste. But this, this exceeded all expectations.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He said in a smoky voice after pulling away, his hands now holding your face. “That’s what I was going to say.” You managed to whisper before his lips landed on yours again. Your heart pounding hard inside your chest, it felt as if it was about to explode.

~~

Spencer huffed as he placed a heavy cardboard box down on the ground. He straightened himself, flattened down his crinkly t-shirt, and turned to you with a smile. “That’s the last of it.” He stated proudly, placing his hands on his hips.

“My hero.” You ambled towards him and pecked his lips. “Thank you.” His arms made their way around your waist, pulling you in close. He placed a tender kiss on your forehead before glancing around the room.

“I can’t believe we’re officially moved in together.”

“It’s been a longtime coming.”

“That it definitely has.” Spencer smiled kissing you. He let his arms fall and shuffled around to start unpacking. 

Having planned ahead, you removed a speaker from your handbag. You quickly set it up, connecting it to your phone, and pressed play to ease the process that would carry on into the night.

Starting with the kitchen, and the more fragile items, the two of you made your way through the new apartment. 

Hours passed. It was getting quite late as tiny yawns continuously escaped your lips. However, the hard work was paying off because space started to feel more and more like home.

You decided to finish up for the night - tomorrow was another day. Yawning, you leaned into the arms of your boyfriend. Spencer kissed the top of your head and began to sway you slowly from side to side.

Right on queue, the guitar intro you both recognised well began to play through the speakers. You smiled into his chest before breaking free from his embrace. 

‘Yeah! Come on, come on, come on, come on Now touch me, babe Can't you see that I am not afraid’

Sharing a knowing look, you both started to dance. Not wanting to disrupt any neighbours you both chose not to sing along like you usually did. Instead, you mouthed the words in sync as if you were competing in a lip-sync battle.

‘What was that promise that you made? Why won't you tell me what she said? What was that promise that you made?’

The two of you circled happily around one another. It wasn't long before the air guitars came into play. 

And as the song concluded, Spencer cupped your cheeks. “I love you.” He muttered, gazing deep into your eyes. “I love you too.” You replied smiling.

Without another word, Spencer’s lips crashed against yours. Both your heads tilting hungrily from side to side to vary pressure. Hearts hammering loudly. Your hands made their way up his muscled back as his hands traveled down your neck, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Why don’t we move this party to the bedroom?” He suggested, his face still only inches away from yours. You lifted your hand, and brushed some of his light curls away behind his ear. “I do believe I read somewhere that it is considered bad luck not to christen the bed on the first night of living together.” You stated giggling. 

Spencer raised an interested brow. “What else does the article say?”

“How about I just show you.” And like that, your lips were on his once again as he blindly led you to the bed.

~~

“And now ladies and gentlemen we would like to bring out our newlyweds, Dr. & Mrs. Reid, to dance their first dance as husband and wife. Let’s give them a hand.”

Spencer turned to you, that warm kindhearted smile you loved so much circling his lips. He offered you his hand. “Mrs. Reid.” You took it gladly. “Dr. Reid.”

He led you to the middle of the dance floor and swiftly wrapped one arm around your waist, holding you close, while the other hand intertwined itself with yours. Music started to play and the two of you swayed elegantly from side to side.

“I have a surprise for you.” Spencer whispered in your ear before briefly pulling apart and twirling you around. 

Suddenly the music stopped. Sounds of disappointment echoed through the watching crowd as you shot your husband a quizzical look.

A melody you knew all too well filled the space.

Your mouth parted slightly in shock as Spencer let his arm fall from your waist. He spun you around once again and began rhythmically banging his head to the beat of the song. You couldn't help but giggle at the sight before joining in.

Excited screams echoed through the crowd as they cheered on. Even though you heard them, you knew people were watching and documenting this moment, you felt as if there was no-one else around - déjà vu.

Spencer pressed his forehead lightly to yours, his hands cupping your cheeks. His lips twirled into a smile. A big smile that you reciprocated. Feeling as if you were on cloud nine, you looked deep into each others eyes and whole heartedly sang along with the song. Your song.

‘I'm going to love you Till the heavens stop the rain I'm going to love you Till the stars fall from the sky For you and I’

-

masterlist

[aderiex]

Aaron Hotchner x Reader (Jealousy)

Warnings: Smut, unprotected sex, oral, coarse language.

Summary: The team goes to DC for a case but Hotch can’t seem to take his eyes off of you. After an incident at a bar, he gets jealous and realizes he wants you. 

Everyone all sat on the plane to D.C. They were working a case of younger women abducted from clubs and bars. The Unsub was torturing and killing his victims. Washington PD said the abductions go back a few weeks, 8 bodies had just showed up, half buried in the ground. You sat next to Dr. Reid like you normally do; you two had become close when you had first joined the Bureau and you have become inseparable ever since. He was sitting with the file propped open in his lap and you were leaning over his shoulder to get a better look at the crime scene photos. “So, we have 8 dead women in 3 weeks. The coroner said they had all been dead about a week when they found the bodies.” JJ explained, “So he was keeping them for a while.” Morgan concluded.  Emily sighed and looked over to you, it was hard for the women to do cases like this knowing the victimology, they were within the killer’s preference. Reid put a supportive hand on your back and offered you a warm smile, you smiled back and tuned in to what Hotch was saying. He was talking about what our next moves were when you landed. “JJ and Reid, I need you in the precinct, looking over all the evidence, get our team somewhere to set up. Morgan, Prentiss, and Rossi will interview the families of the victims.” You watched his hesitated eyes looking around the plane when they finally met yours, his gaze softened a bit. “Me and y/n are going to go have a look at the crime scene.” He finished. Everyone agreed and the pilot’s voice came over the speakers, telling the team they were coming in for landing.

As soon as you were on the ground, you were being transported into SUV’s and on your separate paths to do the assigned jobs. It was just you and Hotch in the car, he was driving, and you rode shotgun, with a map splayed out on your lap with all the last known locations of the girls and then the dumpsite. Hotch tried to make some small talk, but it was mostly silent for the duration of the car ride. You pulled up to the dumpsite to see state police around, police tape up to keep civilians out. You put on your rubber gloves, and stepped out of the car, joining up on Hotch’s side as you both approached the scene. The state police chief came up to you and shook both of your hands, introducing himself. He explained basic knowledge of the crimes, which you had already read about, but still listened intently to his words. You and Hotch walked over and inspected the dead bodes. Him checking their pockets and looking at how they were placed, you still looking through the files, trying to identify each girl.

After a few hours spent at the crime scene, you and Hotch decided to rejoin the rest of the team back at the precinct. The drive back less quiet, mostly just filled with work discussion and quick phone calls to Reid and Garcia, but still something. Back at the precinct, Reid and JJ had all the crime scene photos laid out on the big conference table, along with all the evidence. You and Hotch joined them at the table, Reid joining up on your side. Looking down, at the file in your hands and matching it with the last known location of the girls. “They were all last seen at a bar or club…” Morgan mused, “Hey babygirl,” He said, getting on the phone with Garcia. “I need a list of all the bars and clubs that are in a 10-mile radius of the dump site.” Garcia chuckled, “Already on it big boy, I’m sending them over to you right now.” The list popped up, about 7 bars and clubs. “2 of them closed due to renovations and aren’t due to open for the next month.” Garcia added, “Ok so that makes 5. We should split up and hit the bars tonight. Morgan, you take the one uptown on 5th. Reid, I want you and Prentiss in the one on Main. Rossi and JJ will take the one on the far side of town. Me and y/n will take the one on 22nd.” Hotch gave everyone roles, “That leaves one, the one on 33rd.” JJ brought up, Hotch nodded and turned to the state police chief, “I want you and a partner there tonight.” Hotch said, in a serious tone. The man nodded and everyone went to get changed into more casual clothing, as to not seem too suspicious to the unsub. You all were told to tuck your guns behind your waistband, and you kept your badge and cuffs on a belt loop you kept hidden underneath your shirt.

You and Hotch headed for the bar, this was the one time he wasn’t dressed formally, he wore a simple grey button up and jeans, he looked good. You both sat in the car, driving in the dark, the quiet was comforting. Hotch looked over to you multiple times during the drive, just quick glances, not long enough for you to make eye contact with him. You pulled up to the bar, it looked busy, the parking lot was full and there was a steady stream of people going in and out. Hotch looked over to you and sent you a small nod as you both got out of the car and walked in together. It was even busier inside, people were packed in, standing almost shoulder to shoulder. You and Hotch headed immediately to the bar, you found two open spots and sat down, the bartender walked up to you guys. “Busy night?” Hotch asked, the bartender nodded, exasperatedly. “It’s like this almost every night. Popular spot.” He laughed out, “So you probably don’t remember many of the people that come through here?” you asked, the bartender thought about it for a second, “Not really, unless its one of my regulars or they are quite memorable.” He shrugged. You pulled a picture out of your pocket of the girls, “Do any of these girls look familiar?” You asked, the bartender inspected the photos, he shook his head, “Sorry, like I said we have a lot of people that come through here.” You nodded, “What about a man? He would have been quite reserved, sat near the back, didn’t talk to anyone, seemed to just watch?” Hotch cut in, the bartender paused, “Yeah I think I know who you’re talking about, he comes here sometimes, orders a beer and sits in the back. He leaves pretty discreetly.” The man said, “Is he here tonight?” You asked, the man looked around, “Not yet, he normally shows up later in the night.” You nodded and turned to Hotch, “Guess we play the waiting game.” He said.

You and Hotch sat at a table in the back, just talking. Hotch had ordered a beer, as to blend in, you were taking sips of a virgin drink the bartender had recommended. A man approached your table and sat next to you without warning, you could smell the alcohol on his breath. “Hey pretty lady.” He slurred, intoxicated. You forced a smile and looked to Hotch, who was sending the man a death stare. “Are you single?” he asked, paying no attention to Hotch. He didn’t even let you answer, “Let’s get out of here babe. I’ll show you a great time.” He shot you a dirty smile. You were getting visibly uncomfortable, “Get off of her.” Hotch spoke up, you both looked over to him and he was getting serious. “Hey man calm down, I’m just picking up your leftovers.” He snickered, Hotch was up in a second, grabbing the intoxicated man by his collar and pulling him out of the booth. “I wasn’t asking.” He practically spat at the man. The fear in the man’s eyes was prominent as Hotch let him go and he drunkenly stumbled away from our table. “Thank you.” You spoke up, giving Hotch a warm smile. Hotch returned the smile which made your face heat up and you averted your eyes.

The night was long but by the time the bar had closed, there was no sign of this man. You and Hotch packed up and left the bar, getting into his SUV and heading for the hotel. The drive home felt different, the silence wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable. You couldn’t help but steal glances over to him. You pulled into the parking lot of the hotel and Hotch helped you out of the car, “About what happened back there...” He trailed off, you smiled “Hey, don’t worry about it. I wanted to thank you for sticking up for me.” You smiled, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. You felt the heat rush to his face under your hand. You stayed there for a moment, staring into his eyes, watching them try to read you. His brow furrowed, his eyes scanning your face. You pulled away, breaking the trance “We should probably go… go to bed.” You laughed nervously, he said nothing but a brief nod and you both headed into the hotel. Checking into your respective rooms.

It was the next day, you and Hotch were both extremely tired and showed up to the precinct late because of the late closing time of the bar. Everyone watched you two walk in, JJ raised her eyebrows suggestively and you blushed slightly but shook your head, “It’s not what it looks like, the bar was open until 1am.” You said, yawning.

The day was very long, but you eventually caught up with the killer, he had made a mistake in covering his tracks and you had been able to find his tab at the bar. Garcia had tracked his card and given you all an address. The whole team pulled up to the man’s house, you hopped out of the SUV gun in hand, approaching the house with the rest of the team. Morgan kicked down the door and everyone surged into the house.

The next events went by in almost slow motion, you turned a corner, the first thing you heard was the shot. You didn’t know where it had come from until you felt a breathtaking force on your vest, knocking you back into the wall, Morgan was right behind you, putting a bullet through the man’s shoulder. You stumbled back and slid down the wall, clawing at your vest, trying to get it off. Hotch ran in and dropped to his knees in front of you, “Y/n! Y/n can you hear me?” He cried out, your ears were ringing but you nodded, and reached out to grab his hand. He practically tore your vest off, looking for any signs of bleeding, but the vest had done its job. He helped you up, his arm around your waist as you caught your breath before guiding you out of the house. Morgan was shoving the unsub into the cop car, as Hotch helped you to the SUV. “I’ll take y/n back to the hotel for some rest. I need you guys to go back and pack up things at the precinct.” Hotch said, everyone nodded.

You were breathing shallowly in the passenger seat as Hotch drove you both back to the hotel. He wouldn’t even let you walk in by yourself, instead he hoisted you up in his arms and carried you through the hotel to your room. He walked you over to your bed and gently laid you down, sitting down on the bed beside you. You drifted peacefully, grabbing out for his hand as you slept.

When you woke up Hotch was still there, holding your hand. He had laid down and was sleeping peacefully. You checked the clock; it was around 3 in the morning. You shifted slightly and you heard his wake up, stretching his arms above his head. “Y/n how are you feeling?” he asked, sitting up. You smiled “I’m feeling better, good as new.” He stood up and you stood with him. As you came to your feet, he was a lot closer than you had expected. You were centimeters apart. You felt his breath on your face, making you shiver. His eyes were scanning you again, looking for some kind of clue as to what you were thinking. “I was worried about you…” He said quietly. You smiled and reached up for his face again, he grabbed your hand and spun you around, walking you back into the wall. Your back was against the wall, he was pressing his body against you, keeping you still. Fear flashed through his eyes as he started to step away. “I-I’m so sorry-” you cut him off, pulling him back in by the collar and pressing your lips to his. He kissed back immediately. His lips were so soft, felt so right on yours. His hands immediately found your hips, pulling you even closer as your hands played with the hair on the back of his neck. He pulled away, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He admitted, “That guy at the bar…” he paused, you kissed him again to shut him up. “I know” You mumbled against his lips. His kisses got hungrier, his hands going over your body, as if he were memorizing all the curves of your hips. He squeezed at your waist, making you moan quietly. That drove him crazy, his grip immediately tightened, kissing you harder. You reached your hand down and rubbed him through his pants, causing him to groan against your lips. You smirked and felt him almost come undone in front of you. Your shirt was the first to go, he took your breast in his hand making you throw your head back in pleasure, giving him access to kiss at your neck. Biting and sucking at your neck leaving bright red and purple marks, you moaned lightly, your hands tangling in his hair. One hand going to your waistband, the other coming up to grab your throat. He scanned your eyes, making sure it was okay. You gave him a confirming look, he squeezed your throat and whispered in your ear. “That was dangerous y/n.” He said before pushing his fingers past your waistband, making you gasp. “Going in there alone like that?” he was still whispering in your ear as his finger circled your clit, making your grab his biceps. Moaning quietly, “You could have gotten hurt.” He growled, continuing with his fingers. You whimpered, not able to form any eligible words.

You were getting closer to your release, Hotch knew it too and pulled away. Leaving a lingering kiss on your lips before pulling his own shirt over his head. He was toned, strong, you couldn’t help but stare. Seeing him in this vulnerable state, this way, you forever wanted this image of him in your mind. He smiled at you and pulled you back in, “You should have stayed with me.” He said, his voice deep in your ear, making you shiver. His hand going right back into your pants, circling your entrance before pushing a finger inside of you. Your breath hitched, and you opened your mouth as if to let out a moan. “Ah ah. Quiet now.” He growled, you whimpered quietly but nodded. He went back to his fingers, slowly pushing one in and out, watching your face twist with pleasure. Soon you felt him add another one, he curled them inside of you and you felt the tip of his finger graze your pleasure point. You moaned out, he smiled, knowing he had found it and kept going, hitting it with every pump. You dropped your head to rest on his shoulder and bit down on your lip to try and stay quiet. “So wet for me already?” He groaned out, you nodded as best you could while trying to hold in the moans of pleasure. He pulled his fingers out and grabbed you up by your thighs, carrying you over to the bed, placing you down lightly and starting to unbutton your pants. He pulled them off your legs with ease, leaving you in nothing but your bra and underwear, his pants were next. He crawled on top of you in his boxers, you felt his bulge through his boxers rub against you, causing you to moan lightly in his ear. “Fuck Aaron.”

He started kissing down your stomach, all the way down to your thighs, you felt his breath on your inner thighs, causing you to arch you back. He circled your clit through your underwear, making you shudder. He pushed your underwear to the side and licked a flat line up your entrance. You couldn’t keep the moan in that time, it wasn’t that loud, but he heard it. Making him lick you again. You grabbed his hair as he went down on you, you threw your head back as your body was overwhelmed with pleasure. While he was still licking you, he stuck a finger in again. You tightened your grip on his hair and he kept going harder. You couldn’t keep the moans in anymore, grinding down on his fingers, chasing your release. “Not yet y/n.” He whispered. Pulling away. Before he could do anything else you flipped him over, so he was on his back. You trailed down his body, teasing your fingers around his waistband before pulling down his boxers. His member coming up and hitting against his stomach. He groaned at the sudden stimulation, you look his entire length in your mouth making him gasp and throw his head back on the pillow. You bobbed your head and swirled your tongue around him, making him groan and grab your hair. You could feel his tip hitting the back of your throat as you went, amazing moans escaping his lips.

Before he finished, he pulled your hair, letting his member fall out of your mouth. “On your back.” He growled, you obliged and laid down on the bed, you watched him slip your underwear off your legs and throw it behind him as you unhooked your bra and tossed it onto the floor. He leaned down, kissing you and his hands pleasuring you again before you felt his tip slowly push into you. Your nails dug into his skin as you winced. He stopped and looked down at you, you nodded and reached down to push his member farther into you. He groaned and hung his head in pleasure as he bottomed out in you, you moaned as his member hit your pleasure spot. He moved slowly, small thrusts until he was able to slide in and out easily. He held your leg up above his shoulder and continued to thrust. You felt the friction and pain dissipate as it was replaced with pleasure. His groans in your ear, turning you on even more. Your moans were heard all around the room. He leaned it, still going, “You feel so good.” He groaned, you whimpered and ran your nails up and down his back, leaving bright red scratch marks. He moaned at the feeling of this and went harder. He put one hand around your throat and used the other to pin your hands above your head. He was hitting your pleasure spot with every thrust, making you almost scream. You were getting close and Hotch was too, “I-I’m going to-” you didn’t even finish before you released on him, moaning loudly. He was groaning with the feeling of it before pulling out and finishing over your stomach, gasping as he rode out his release.

Later that day, you and Hotch sat on the plane back to Quantico, Reid and Emily were playing chess together. No one knows why she still tries, Reid has yet to lose since Gideon. JJ was finishing her report and Rossi was laying asleep. Hotch sat across form you, his professional face back on, looking over to you and shooting you a smile every once in a while. The flight back is always shorter than the flight out, Reid explained why is physically was, but it felt faster mentally too. As soon as the team landed, there were SUVs outside waiting to take you back to the bullpen. You, Hotch and Reid all sat in one SUV, Reid was forced into the back. The drive was silent other than Reid spouting random facts, you found yourself staring at Hotch while he drove for long periods of time before he would meet your gaze and break you out of the trance.

Everyone was sitting at their respective desks, filling out all the reports quietly. Hotch stepped out of his office, “Y/n. My office.” He said, a shiver went down your spine and you stood. Everyone’s eyes were on you as you walked up the steps and into Hotch’s office. As soon as you got into the office, you closed the door behind you, he closed the blinds and turns towards you “Lock it.” He said, your heart rate picked up and you nodded before turning around and locking the door behind you. You turned around and Hotch was immediately in front of you, grabbing your waist and pinning you against the door. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” He growled in your ear; your knees quivered. He didn’t waste time kissing you, pulling you closer to his body. Holding you up. You immediately reached down to rub him through his pants, but he stopped you “We’re going to have to be quiet.” He murmured. You nodded and he let our wrist go, letting you slip your hand into his pants and slowly stroke him, making him throw his head back and breathe heavily. “Desk, now.” He demanded, you giggled and sat on the edge of his desk. He walked over to you, taking off his blazer and undoing his tie. He came right up and stood between your legs, craning his head down to kiss you, stroking your hair and one hand on your thigh. He pushed you back lightly, letting you come to rest on your elbows, he unzipped his pants and pulled his boxers down enough to pull his hard member out. You bit your lip as he slid into you, his face showing pure pleasure as you contracted and moved around his member. He started slow, until the pain was gone again, the thrusts become easier, and he started going harder. You threw your head back, biting your lip hard as you avoid moaning. “Shhh, good girl.” Hotch praised you, that caused a slight whimper, but it wasn’t too loud. He gave you a warning glance and you nodded desperately. He grabbed his tie and shoved the fabric in your mouth. “Quiet babygirl.” He cooed. You bit down on the tie and let it muffle your moans.

He was getting close; you were coming up on your release as well. You sat up and grabbed his collar, “Cum in me.” You whimpered in his ear. He gave you a confirming look and you nodded. He nodded and as you released on his member, he let himself finish inside of you. You felt his hot release fill you up and you threw your head back. “F-Fuck.” You moaned out. He held you there as you both rode out your orgasm. As he stood back up, putting his clothes back on, kissing your forehead. You felt his warm release running down your leg as you stood, your legs shaking. He gave you his spare shirt to clean up with, “Clean yourself up love.” He said softly. You smiled and he pulled you in for a handful of light kisses. On your lips, your cheeks, and your forehead.

You walked out of the office, slightly stumbling down the stairs and sitting back down, across from Spencer. “What did he want?” He asked you. “Just a second opinion.” You answered, going back to your work as if nothing had happened. Spencer didn’t question it. But Morgan saw the messed-up hair and swollen lips. But he didn’t say any    thing.

Word count: 4k

[aperrywilliams]

Home (Spencer Reid x Gn!Reader)

(Not my gif. Credit to the creator)

Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gn!Reader.

Summary: Reader gets a call from JJ saying that the last case hit Spencer hard. So Reader is determined to make Spencer feel at home when he returns.

Word Count: 2.1 k

Warnings: Mention of Mexico, Cat Adams, and Spencer’s PTSD.

A/N: This one is based on this request. A little comfort and fluff to start Monday. Have a great week, everyone! Do you want to be added to the taglist? Go HERE

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Thursday afternoon found you in the grocery store. You decided it was time to make a proper meal at home. After a week full of take-out, you craved some different.

This pattern usually happens when your boyfriend Spencer is away for a case. You don’t feel like cooking for yourself, so you prefer to order some Chinese and eat on the couch while watching a soap opera on TV.

The informal and relaxed routine at home doesn’t prevent you from worrying about Spencer, though. You usually talk to or text him at night when he is on cases, but sometimes you get only radio static. You know he can be busy, so you try not to freak out, but after what happened in Mexico, it’s difficult not picturing the worst. You still remember like it was yesterday when Emily called you to tell you what happened. At some point, you really thought you would lose Spencer locked in Milburn.

Walking down the aisles, you were about to stop to grab some vegetables when your phone went off. You took it out of your jeans pocket and saw JJ’s name on the screen. Your stomach immediately clenched. Last night you hadn’t been able to talk to Spencer, and during the day, he didn’t answer the text you wrote him in the morning. Nervously, you pressed the green button.

“Hello? JJ?”

“Hi (Y/N). I’m sorry if you are busy right now. Can you talk?” JJ questioned. The knot in your stomach tightened.

“Uh- It’s okay. I - I can talk. Is something wrong? Is Spencer okay?” You hastened to ask.

“Yes! He’s fine. We just landed, and we‘re going to the case debriefing. I’m calling you because this one was pretty intense for Spence. And I know he won’t admit it, but I’m worried; I have seen some of his PTSD since yesterday. I just wanted you to know,” JJ explained.

“Oh. Okay. I get it. Thanks, JJ. For letting me know. The case? Was related to Mexico?”

“Not quite, but the unsub acted pretty much like Cat Adams. I think that triggered his initial discomfort,” JJ told you.

Your poor Spencer. It took him months to appease the nightmares. He usually woke up screaming and crying. When it started, you didn’t know how to help him, but with time, you learned how to soothe him so he could relax in your arms and fall asleep again.

After hanging up, you started to move faster. Spencer would be at home in an hour and a half top, and you knew how exhausted your boyfriend would look. Plus, the information JJ gave you was enough reason for you to do something about it.

-

The keys jingle in the lock alerted you that Spencer was at home. You were chopping some vegetables and putting them in the pan. You wanted to stop your doing and rush to hug him, but you knew better.

Spencer needed at least some minutes to realize he wasn’t at the BAU or catching monsters anymore, so you kept cooking, trying to act normal.

You heard the thud of his go-bag on the floor. The slow and heavy steps cracking on the wooden floor were another clue of the weightiness he must have held on his shoulders. You smiled at him when he was at your sight in the kitchen.

“Hey, handsome,” you greeted. Spencer looked at you with a weary expression on his face.

“Hey,” he responded, leaning on the door frame whit arms crossed over his chest as he tried to conceal the exhaustion. Averting your gaze, he attempted to evade any question you would have. There wasn’t a hug; there wasn’t a loving kiss.

Surely you would notice something wasn’t okay, but his voice was gone, and his body didn’t let him move.

You just turned off the oven and walked to him without saying anything. He still didn’t want to see you. Tugging one of his arms to unfold, you opened your arms and hugged him. Spencer hugged you back, hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

“You are home, baby. It’s okay. I’ve got you,” you mumbled, tenderly caressing his scalp. A muffled sob escaped his lips.

“I’ve missed you. I didn’t even reply to your text. I’m sorry,” Spencer sobbed.

“I’ve missed you too, Spencer. But you are here now; it’s all that matters. Do you want to talk about it?” He knew what you were asking. Spencer shook his head, not leaving his right spot on your neck. Being in your arms and smelling your scent was the only thing grounding him right now.

“It’s okay; you don’t have to talk now, but you need to eat, though,” you asserted.

“I’m not hungry,” he refuted, parting from your embrace. His glassy eyes only added more exhaustion to his face.

“Baby, please. I’m sure you didn’t eat the past few days properly,” you guessed.

“I just want to go to bed,” Spencer mumbled, briefly rubbing his palms over his eyes. Your hand came to rest on his cheek, and he leaned into your touch.

“Tunnel vision?” You asked. He nodded, blinking several times. You grabbed his hand and pulled him to the hallway, where the light was dimmer than in the kitchen.

“Tell you what. Why don’t you get a bath, change your pajama, and then decide if you want to eat something before bed.”

Spencer considered your words and shrugged.

“Okay.”

You led him to the bathroom. Spencer’s brows furrowed when he saw the room littered with aromatic candles. He could smell the faint scent of lavender from the candles mixed with vanilla from the bubbling water in the tub.

“How did you-” Spencer wanted to ask. You smiled at him, pecking his lips as your hands working on his clothes.

“Let me take care of you, okay?” You asked, removing his tie.

“(Y/N), you don’t have to. I’ll be okay,” he told you, holding your hand and kissing your knuckles.

“I don’t have to, but I want to. Please?” A kiss on his cheek accompanied your request.

Spencer sighed. It was always difficult to accept that he needed to be cared for too.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

As you helped him to get rid of his clothes, you could feel how his body gave up. He barely raised his arms so you could take his undershirt off. When he was fully naked, you helped him to step into the bathtub. Once the warm water enveloped his body, he let out a contented sigh. With eyes closed, his head rested on the edge of the tub.

Spencer seemed lost in thought when he suddenly opened his eyes and saw you with the shampoo bottle in your hands.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” he asked. You chuckled.

“Not this time. I already told you, love. I’m going to take care of you. Now close your eyes, baby; I’m going to wash your hair.”

Gently, you massaged his scalp, spreading the lather over his curls, then rinsed them. Spencer looked so relaxed that you were sure he had fallen asleep at some point.

When you were done, you soaped his body and gave it the same attention you paid to his hair.

Spencer opened his eyes and looked at you adoringly. Your gaze met his, and you chuckled.

“What?” you asked playfully.

“I love you,” he said.

“Wait till you see what I made for dinner,” you joked.

Once ready, you left him alone to take his time getting out of the tub and drying off. You left one of his pajamas on the bed and went to the kitchen to finish dinner.

When Spencer was ready and shown in the living, a plate of his favorite meal was waiting on the table. Only the lights of the lamps were on so as not to have the place too bright. You knew about his photo-sensitivity and didn’t want to give him a headache.

A smile spread across his face when he saw the table.

“I told you,” you reminded him. “Come, love. It will do you good to eat something.”

You guys sat across from each other, and Spencer’s appetite seemed to have whetted because not ten minutes had passed, and his plate was nearly empty. Neither of you spoke during that time. But it wasn’t an awkward silence. Instead, it was nice to be able to enjoy each other’s company.

After sipping some of his water, Spencer cleared his throat.

“The unsub was doing the same thing Cat did to me,” he murmured. Your gaze moved from your plate to his eyes.

Spencer was looking at you with those kicked puppy eyes.

“Baby, I’m so sorry. Did you catch him?”

“Catch her. Yes, we did. But it wasn’t easy, and I wasn’t much help either. I felt so useless (Y/N). I can’t believe it still affects me this much,” Spencer confessed, averting your gaze.

You took his hand across the table so he would look at you again.

“Spencer, love. You have every right to be affected by this. What happened to you is not something that will go away overnight. And maybe not in a year, or maybe never. But you’ve been strong enough to face it and continue your life. That’s what matters. And if there are days that are better than others, no one can blame you for that. And I’m sure the team understands that. Don’t torture yourself with those thoughts.”

Spencer squeezed your hand appreciatively.

“You’re right. Sometimes it’s hard to see and accept, though,” Spencer recognized.

You huffed playfully.

“I know it’s hard for you to accept that I’m usually right, but you should get used to it.”

Spencer’s face turned red and shocked.

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant when I said that - I mean, what I wanted to say was that the hard part was-” Spencer stuttered. You started to laugh.

“I know what you meant, Spencer. I’m messing with you.”

Spencer eased then and laughed. It was a genuine laugh. Mission accomplished.

After dinner, you guys moved over to the couch.

You were sitting, and Spencer was lying with his head on your lap while you played with his hair, something you knew he loved very much. A playlist that both of you liked was playing over the speakers.

From the moment you saw him walk in tonight, only now could you tell that Spencer was utterly relaxed. After telling you what happened in the last case and how much it had affected him, it seemed like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

And so it was. Spencer could only repeat to himself how lucky he was to have you by his side. No one had ever put so much effort into these kinds of details towards him before.

Spencer had never felt so blessed to be able to come to his home and truly feel like it was home to him. That happened when you came into his life.

“How are you feeling?” You asked in a whisper so as not to scare him. He turned to see you.

“Like at home,” he answered.

“Well, indeed, you are home, baby.” you joked. Spencer chuckled, and his eyes began to sparkle.

“It wasn’t like that before, though,” he stated. Spencer sat on the couch to get a better look at you. You frowned.

“I mean that this space wouldn’t feel like home if you weren’t here. It would be just four walls with some rooms and furniture.”

Your cheeks flushed at his admission.

“Oh, please, are you suggesting that I’m so loud that I fill up spaces?” You tried to joke to hide how flustered you felt, averting his gaze. Spencer tilted up your chin with his fingers.

“Hey, I’m serious. What you did for me today, and what you have done for me since we met, only makes me fall more in love with you every day. And asking you to move in with me was the best thing I’ve ever done. For now,” he winked at you, and you grinned.

“Are you saying there are better things to come?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“If it’s by your side, I’m sure it will. I love you, (Y/N),” he whispered, leaning in so he could kiss you.

“I love you too, Spencer Reid,” you said, closing the gap between you and letting his lips capture yours.

It was a sweet kiss where Spencer showed you how important you were to him. You reciprocated in the same way, conveying your feelings as well.

This was the life you wanted. Next to whom you were sure was the love of your life.

The man who had hidden a velvet box with an engagement ring in his sock drawer.

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Spencer Reid’s Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective​ @jayyeahthatsme​ @rosalinasam2​ @averyhotchner​ @tvandfanfic​ @lovelyxtom​ @princessmiaelicia​  @reidsbookclub​ @alexxavicry​ @gspenc​ @spencerreidisbae123​ @calmspencer​ 

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[libraryofloveletters]

Ok request: how about Spencer and reader in relationship, but he ends up meeting Maeve and reader is devestated when she(or GN) finds out obvs, but finds comfort in... Hotch?? And somehow that makes more sense to everyone like they partner up a lot and are close?? Idk something along those lines 🥺

Mended Hearts 

Spencer Reid x Reader, Aaron Hotchner x Reader 

Warnings: cheating, mild arguing, a kiss or two 

Category: mix of angst and fluff. 

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: I know Spencer and Maeve didn’t email but for the purpose of this, they did. Also, reader is friends with Matt and Kristy before Matt joined the BAU, just go with it :)

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Spencer’s been distant lately, more than usual. He seemed happier too and it couldn’t be from you because he barely spoke to you now. Your mind wandered to the most hurtful conclusion, he’s cheating. 

Something about it felt wrong, it hurt you but if he was, you wanted to know. You turned to the one person you knew could help you, Penelope. You knocked on her door before she called out to come in. “Office of supreme knowledge, how can I be of service ?” she spun her chair around to see you with a pout on your face. 

“Oh sugar plum, what’s wrong?” she pulled you into a hug, your head resting on her shoulder. 

“I think Spencer’s cheating” you admit to her, she looked at you, she couldn't help but let out a giggle. 

“Boy wonder ? Cheating ? No, I don’t think so. He was about to combust when he asked you out, how could he manage having two relationships ?” 

“Pen, I'm serious. Haven’t you noticed him lately ? Happier ? It’s not me that’s putting the smile on his face” 

The smile dropped from Penelope’s face, she looked sad. Sad for you, sad for Spencer, sad for herself because she never thought Spencer was capable of those things. 

“What can I do love?” 

“Can you check for me? Find out if he is?” 

“Are you sure you want to know ? There’s no going back after this.” Penelope said to you as she sat in her chair, turning to face her monitor. 

Letting out a shaky breath, you nodded. “yeah, I want- need to know” 

“I'll find you later sugar, you should get back before they start to wonder” She gave you a smile as you left her office. You stepped back into the bullpen and made your way to your desk, Spencer stopped by your desk as he headed to Hotch’s office. 

“Hey” he smiled at you, you could feel your heart hurting already. 

“Hi Spence” you smiled back. 

“Almost done ? I can take them up to Hotch” he glanced at the files on your desk, you shook your head. 

“It’s alright, I've still got some more to do” 

“Okay, where were you ?” 

“You’re awfully nosy today Dr. Reid” 

Spencer chuckled, “Sorry” 

“It’s okay. I went to the bathroom and ran down to the IRT to see Kristy, she came to visit Matt” 

Spencer nodded and kissed the top of your head as he left. You watched as he walked up to Hotch’s office. Something felt off, even if he wasn’t cheating then he was definitely up to something. The pen tapped against the desk, your eyes glued to Spencer and Hotch in his office. 

They were two opposing personalities. 

Spencer was shy and quiet, liked to spend his time buried in books and ramble his way through a conversation and you loved that about him, but Aaron, there was just something about him. Aaron was bold, he was born to be a leader. Someone who didn't shy away from trouble, not that Spencer did but Aaron would let himself take the heat of the trouble over any of you. He made sure he was the one bearing the burden so none of you would have too and you admired that about him, you always have. 

A chime coming from your computer pulled your focus from the two men. 

From Penelope Garica: my office, 10 minutes babydoll. 

Penelope’s messages always brought a smile to your face but not today. Today was much different. She said she would call you if she found something and she did. Your heart sank in your chest when it popped up on your screen. Spencer was coming back into the bullpen as you were getting up. 

“Ready to head home ?” 

“Oh no, you go ahead. I have to go over something with Penelope and i’ll be home in a little” 

“You sure? I can wait if you like” 

“It’s fine Spencer. I’ll see you at home” 

You left him standing in the bullpen and headed to Penelope’s office. She spun her chair around when she heard the door shut. “Baby..” she started, her screens covered in emails between Spencer and a woman named Maeve. 

“I want to see you” 

“Hold your hand and walk together, no one would be able to stop us” 

“The sun to my moon, Spencer Reid. That’s what you are” 

“I love you.” 

Your eyes clung to that last line. 

“I love you.”

The same words he hadn't said to you in weeks. The words that used to mean everything to you now meant nothing. 

“Who is she?” 

“Maeve Donovan. She’s a geneticist, in her late 20s. There isn't much about her out there hun, I'm sorry.” Penelope gave your hand a squeeze. 

“How long?” 

“Beginning of last year. They exchanged numbers.” 

“His work number ?” 

“Personal” 

You nodded and let out a sigh. There was a weird sense of relief, like a weight lifted off your chest because you knew, you didn’t have to wonder if he was cheating. 

You knew he was. 

“Thank you Penelope” you kissed her cheek, she smiled at you. “I’m here if you need anything else. Call me whenever sweetie” 

Rushing back into the bullpen, you grabbed your car, Aaron was stepping out of his office as you hurried to the doors. “L/n! your reports?” “my desk Hotch!” you shouted back before running to catch the elevator. 

There was a rush, unlike anything you’ve felt before. You knew you couldn't stay with Spencer, especially when he was in love with Maeve, whoever she might be. It didn't make it any less painful, but it was what was best for you and you were all that matter because clearly Spencer didn’t feel the same way. 

Approaching the apartment, you could hear Spencer’s loud laugh from the other side of the door. When your key clicked in the lock, he whispered a goodbye to whoever he was speaking to. Spencer smiled at you when you walked in. 

“Sorry, did I interrupt your conversation ?” you asked, he shook his head. 

“No, it’s alright.” 

“Who was it ?” 

“Just a friend.” 

Just a friend, my ass. you knew it had to be Maeve, who would make him laugh like that? 

“oh your new friend Maeve?” 

Spencer’s smile dropped, he looked as if he saw a ghost. 

“Sorry should I have said your girlfriend Maeve ?” 

“How did you-” “so you are cheating on me? Let’s just make that clear” 

Spencer was at a loss for words and that’s something you don’t ever see. You headed to the bedroom to pack up your clothes. “Where are you going ?” Spencer followed you to the room, he watched you put the clothes in the bag. “I don't know, I’m not going to stay here” 

Spencer grabbed your hand, you pulled away from him. “Maeve and I.. we’re- we’re just friends” 

“Tell me you don't love her Spencer.” you stopped and looked at him. “Can you tell me that you don’t love her? That you love me instead?” 

“I do love you, y/n” 

“But you love Maeve more ?” 

“Y/n, please. Let me explain what happened” Spencer begging you. 

“Spencer stop, please. I don't want to hear it. I know you love me but you can’t love us both. Maeve makes you happy, and you deserve to be happy, even if it’s not with me” your voice wavered for a moment, you closed the bag. 

“It’s over Spencer” 

“No it can't be done, not like this” 

“Then what Spencer ? You want me to cheat on you too ? For a whole year nonetheless and then lie to your face ? Would that be okay ? Because That’s fair, right? You broke my heart and I break yours. Life isn’t fair Spencer, you of all people know that.” 

Spencer followed your steps to the door. “You can’t go” he sighed, “Watch me” you stepped out of the apartment and left as fast as you could. 

You drove around aimlessly for an hour, stopping in a parking lot to figure out where to stay for the night. Dave had a date, Emily had a sin-to-win weekend, Derek was working on house renovations all weekend so you didn’t want to disturb any of them. You thought of calling Penelope but you knew she’d already bed in bed and she deserves her rest. JJ had a full house, you could stay with Matt but he already has two kids and two more on the way, you’re sure they wouldn’t mind but you couldn't do that to them. By default, you ended back in the F.B.I parking lot. 

You took the back stairs up to the BAU. The bullpen was empty and only the desk lights were on. Tossing your bag on the door by your desk, you spotted your reports still on your desk. Figuring you'd take them up to Hotch’s office and he’d have them for the morning, you picked them up. 

Up the stairs and you pushed the door open, Aaron sat at his desk. A mug in one hand and a pen in the other. The two of you looking at each other like deer in headlights. “What are you doing here?” you both say at the same time, making you smile. 

“Um I forgot something” you stood by the door. Aaron glanced at his watch, “y/n, it’s 2:20 in the morning, what did you forget that was so important ?” 

“my chapstick” you lied, Aaron hummed.

He didn't believe you. 

“The truth, agent l/n ?” he asked, his eyes on his papers. You let out a sigh, do you come up with another lie or do you pour your heart out to your boss ? Aaron glanced up at you, waiting on an answer. 

“Spencer cheated on me and I found out. I ended it with him and I didn't know where to go so I'm here” 

Second one it is then. 

“Sit down” was all Aaron said to you. Making your way to the couch in his office, you quietly sat down and waited for Aaron to say something to you. 

An hour had passed and you made yourself comfortable on the couch as you watched Aaron do his work. Your shoes were on the floor and you curled into the side of the couch. You had dozed off at one point, only to be awoken by Aaron putting a blanket over you after coming back with another cup of coffee. The clock chimed as it hit 4am, Aaron finally shut the file he was working on and looked over at you. 

“Y/n” 

“Sir” 

“It’s just us, you can call me Aaron you know” he made his way over to you on the couch. 

“Don’t you want to get home to Jack ? You could probably be there for when he wakes up” you looked over the man that was sitting beside you.

 His hair was ruffled from his fingers running through it, his jacket and tie hung on the back of his chair and his sleeves were rolled up. His shoes seemed to be somewhere in his office, he shifted on the couch, bringing up a leg on the couch, his sock clad foot hanging off. 

“Jack’s at a friend’s house tonight. What happened with Spencer ? If you don’t mind me asking of course” Aaron leaned into the side of the couch, you let out a sigh. “That bad huh ?” Aaron joked, making you smile. 

“Well, he had been distant lately but he seemed happy and I knew it couldn't be me making him happy. I had Penelope do some digging for me, you know, just in case he was” you said, Aaron gave you a look when you mentioned Penelope. You put your hands up defensively, “come on Aaron, it’s only fair. You know he probably would have done the same.” Aaron nodded, waiting for you to continue. 

“Penny found a bunch of emails between him and some woman named Maeve from last year to now. I asked him if he was cheated and he didn’t deny it so I left. I wasn’t sure where to go and I ended up here” 

Aaron just looked at you. He too, was at a loss of words. 

“I can transfer him” Aaron said, you shook your head. 

“Thank you but that won't be necessary. Spencer made his choice. He can continue to work with me without issue, like he did when he was lying to me” you leaned against the backrest of the couch. Aaron smiled at you. 

“You’re always been a tough one y/n. I admire you for that” his hand reached out for yours. You smiled at him, your hand in his, Aaron’s hand fit in yours like you were made for each other. Your side pressed into the couch, your eyes felt heavy. 

“Hey, come here” Aaron stretches out his arms, you look at him, unsure if you should go. “It’s okay, I don’t bite” he chuckled. Shifting on the couch, your back rested against Aaron’s chest, his arm wrapped around you. 

“Comfortable ?” 

“mhm hm” 

--

“Be quiet” Penelope whispered to Emily who was taking pictures. Spencer and Derek walked in to see them standing by Hotch’s office door. “What’s going on?” Derek asked, jogging up the stairs and Spencer followed him. 

Derek and Spencer both halted when they saw what was in front of them. Hotch was laid on the couch and you were on top of him, your head on his chest and his arm resting on your back. 

Derek looked over at Spencer, Spencer’s eyes glued to his boss and his ex cuddled up on the couch together. Derek grabbed Spencer’s arm and dragged him over to the other side of the door. 

“Okay what the hell is that Reid ?” 

“Uh I um-I don't know” 

“Stop bullshitting Spencer, you know everything. Now why is y/n cuddled up with Hotch right now?” 

“Derek I-” 

“God, just spit it out Spencer!” 

“I cheated” 

Derek looked at Spencer, his eyes wide and he was in shock. Did he mishear him ? Was this a dream ? 

“You did what ?”

“I met this woman, Maeve and she’s amazing and she makes me so happy... happier than y/n did” Spencer whispered that last part. Derek didn't say anything, he was still trying to process what Spencer had just said. 

“How could you ?” Derek asked him, Spencer’s heart dropped. His best friend was disappointed in him. “They did nothing but love and support you and this is what you do ? you cheat on them ? I never expected this. I care about both of you but I can’t believe you right now.” Derek left Spencer standing in the hallway. 

“Babygirl should someone wake them ? We have a case” Derek’s arm wrapped around Penelope’s shoulder, her arm around his waist. Before Penelope could answer, Hotch’s phone rang. The ringer woke the both of you, you sat up as did Hotch. You rubbed your eyes, you saw Derek, Penelope, Emily and Spencer at the door. Hotch went over to get his phone, he didn't notice the company you had. 

“Y/n, we’ve got a case” he turns to you, your eyes on the door. Hotch followed your eyes to the door, now seeing the group of agents at the door. “Good morning everyone, we have a case. Wheels up in 30, we’ll brief quickly and then get on the jet.” Aaron walked over to the door and shut it. 

You watched everyone walk down into the bullpen from the window before turning to Aaron. “I think we should talk” you say quietly, “about ?” he begins unbuttoning his shirt. 

“What are you doing ?” your eyes wide, confused as to why your boss was undressing in front of you. “Changing my shirt” he pulls on out of the drawer. “Hm anyways, I’m pretty sure they’re all wondering why I was asleep with you when I'm still with spenc- oh shit, I'm not with Spencer” 

“Are you going to tell them ?” Aaron asks you while tucking his shirt into his pants. You nodded as you walked over to him, you pulled up the collar of his shirt, you tied his tie and rested your hands on his chest after fixing the collar. 

“Yeah I am” you leaned up slightly and gave Aaron a kiss, he smiled against your lips and kissed you. 

“Let’s go” you walked out of the office, Aaron followed you to the briefing room. “Goodmorning, are we ready to start ?” Aaron asked as the two of you settled in. “Okay I have to ask” Emily started, “What the hell was that ? You’re sleeping with Hotch ? wWhat about Spencer ?” Emily turned to you. You shook your head and looked over at Spencer, his head hung low. 

“Spencer cheated on me, I didn’t know where to go, I ended up here and I hung out with Hotch last night. That’s all. Now can we get back to work ?” 

The room went quiet, you could feel the tension building in the room, the eyes shifting in the room from you to Spencer to Aaron. 

“The sunshine state requires your presence, my crime fighting darlings!” Penelope started, pulling the attention away from you guys. 

--

The flight home from the case was quiet, everyone had gotten over the cheating fiasco, Spencer sat on the couch at one end of the jet and you sat at the other end across from Hotch. He was working on some paperwork and you were reading a book, everyone else was asleep. 

“I'm going to get some tea, would you like some ?” you put the book down and stood up, “maybe some coffee?” he mumbled and you nodded, “I'll be back” you walked down the jet to the coffee machine. You could feel Spencer’s eyes on you as you walked past. You walked back towards Spencer and sat beside him on the couch. 

He closed the door that was in his hands and rested in on his lap. “Hi” he whispered, “hi” you whispered back. 

“Can we talk?” you asked him, he nodded. 

“Why’d you do it? I’m not upset, I just- I need to know” 

“Would you believe me if I said I never meant to ? She was helping me with my headaches and we began talking. I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed her company until it was too late” 

You just let out a hum, you didn't even think his answer was worth a response.

“Y/n, I promise you,” he reached for your hands, you watched him but didn't move, “I never meant to hurt you, I will always care about you and I'm sorry. I really am.” he said to you. Spencer seems genuine but you weren't quite ready to forgive him. 

“I don't forgive you. I don't know if I can but.. I appreciate it. Can I ask you something else ?” 

“Anything” 

“Did she know?” you look at him, his eyes on you. 

“About ?” 

“Us, did she know you were in a relationship?” Spencer paused for a moment, he nodded. “She did” he said and you chuckled, “some girl you got there Spencer” you stood up.

 “I’ll be by on Saturday for my stuff, I'll be there from around 9 or 10 until 5 so can you leave during that time ?” 

“Uh sure, that's fine” 

You left Spencer on the couch and you went to make the coffee. You returned to Aaron a few minutes later with a mug. Sitting beside him this time, your head rested on his shoulder, “thank you” he smiled, you nodded, “of course” 

“Who were you talking to just now ?” 

“Spencer” 

Aaron put down the pen and turned to you. “What ?” “I just needed to know Aaron” you sighed. 

“What did he say ? Just remember I can still transfer him” Aaron smiled at you, his comment made you laugh. “He said he didn’t realize they were so into each other until it was too late” Aaron face twisted into a weird expression, “oh okay then” 

“mhm hm” 

“What are you going to do now ? You have to get the rest of your things, right ?” Aaron looked down at you. Shifting, your head now resting on his lap, his fingers running through your hair. “I do, I'm going over on Saturday” you mumbled, eyes fluttering shut. 

“Do you have somewhere to stay ?” he asks you, his eyes on you. “I was thinking of staying with you if that’s okay ?” your eyes were still closed and you couldn’t see him but Aaron had a smile on his face.

“Yeah, I'd like that” he leaned down and kissed your forehead. 

---

taglist: @mac99martin @aaron-hotchner187 @tclaerh @luke-alvez @iconicc @lieberhers @pumpkin-reads @katexrichardson @sluttytears @thelukealvez @scandinavian-punk @laurenxreynolds @haleymalaffey @shotarosleftpinky @mrs-dr-reid @hqtchner @averyhotchner @willlemonheadsupremacy @ssa-autumn-hotchner @potter-reid

[rcksmith]

Spring breeze part.4 — Spencer Reid

Icon by @obiwansjedi

Part.1 Part.2 Part.3

Sumarry: After the breakup, Spencer and the Reader follow different paths and lives. But, after 8 years, Gideon's death brings an avalanche of emotions, putting the two face to face again in a reencounter that could break their hearts again — season 10 —

Couple: Spencer Reid /Gideon's daughter!reader.

Warnings: mention of death, mention of violence, death of the father, depressive thoughts, murder, crying, swearing, a lot of anguish, mention of love, fluff (but it has a very fluff too, I'm not a monster)

Word count: 5k.

A/N: This is the most sad chapter that has, I promise that the next will be very cute.💖

I saw Gideon's death episode again to make it as faithful as possible for you guys. I used the original Criminal Minds chronology too, being 8 years from Gideon's last appearance until his death.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Let me know if you want to be added for a taglist for a specific fandom (Criminal Minds, The Umbrella Academy, Riverdale, Roman Godfrey, or all)

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — — —

Hunting bandits. Save people. Improve the world a little bit every day. Those were the three things Spencer believed it was worth to be at BAU. It was worth fighting for, holding on, staying sleepless for days, being haunted by murderers by day and nightmares at night. For what it was worth looking at the abyss, even when it looks to you

Reid could deal with human perversion, with the thousand and one ways to practice heinous crimes, the sowing of evil and cruelty. He could cope with constantly being inside insane minds, learning his whys and mechanisms. He could take it. He put up with it day after day, case after case. He endured being tortured, stay being held at gunpoint, having a piece of his essence plucked with red-hot iron month after month. Spencer knew he could handle it.

But he couldn't handle death. Goodbye. It shattered his soul far more than difficult cases, pushed his own sanity to the limit. Perhaps burying his feelings as deeply as possible was just a method of delaying the wave that would drown him at one time or another. Inevitably.

Each farewell took a piece of Reid away. His father, his mother, Ellie, you, Gideon, JJ, were just a few of the people who left, living their lives elsewhere. But what about those who died? The victims, the children, Hayley, Maeve, Emily (even if only for a short time) and so many others. These took much more than a piece of him. Maybe costu his whole soul.

Spencer felt himself harden over the years, the cases, loss after loss, day after loss. He felt the purity of his own heart slip through his fingers like sand, the faith in humanity to be put to the test. Sometimes even faith in himself.

Was that the price to pay for that job? Being constantly vulnerable? See his life and the lives of the people his loved most at gunpoint?

It was worth?

Maeve's death shook him more than any other, sucking all the pink glow from his world, leaving him with only the cold feeling of hopelessness. A very deep void. It took a long time for memories of she not to hurt like red-hot iron, for his breathing not to be heavy. It took a long time to be happy again.

And when Spencer felt healed from the deepest wounds, the most visceral pains, he was hit again. Deeply. If Maeve's death was a wave that brought him down, Gideon's death was the tsunami that destroyed him.

“It's Gideon.” Hotch's voice confirmed the fear of everyone in that cottage.

Then Spencer felt shattered. Torn apart. Torn like a rag doll and placed on the fire. He wanted to scream, to scream so loudly that he would never regain his voice. He wanted to break something, destroy some, run away.

But run away from whom? From what? That pain or himself? If Spencer had been able to tear off his own skin at that time and be someone else, he would not have hesitated. Not having dropped to his knees in that cottage was a miracle, because Spencer no longer knew what was holding him upright.

Jason Gideon, in many ways, was all that Spencer had. He knew that they took different paths and traveled different roads, living different lives, but he believed that they always end up on the same, even one they was old. Spencer was sure that if he was dying on his knees, Gideon would be to rescue him. For all those 8 years, it was extremely comforting to think that Gideon was out there, living life, finding the hope he had in college, finding the brilliance the world had.

And Reid knew that Jason had you. And you had Gideon. That was the most soothing and comforting thought. No matter what, he knew that you would take care of Jason, just like he would take care of you. But now... now Spencer's world had dissolved in the air. Like a sandcastle knocked over by the wind.

And the pain was surreal.

When he realized, he had left the room, close to the... body. If he could, Spencer would have moved away from himself. How would he take it? One more death, another psychopath. How many other people he love will are died at the hands of the work he did every day?

The answer to all of these questions was frightening, and Spencer wasn't sure if wanted them.

The trip to the coroner was the worst Reid had ever done, talking about the body was the worst conversation he had ever had. And when Morgan put his hand on his shoulder and said that he couldn't close himself now, that they were going to get that son of a bitch, all Spencer wanted to say was that he couldn't take it anymore. That he couldn't breathe. The emptiness was too oppressive. So much visceral pain.

But that was not what Spencer said. He just clung to the only lifeguard in the middle of the rough and deserted sea: justice. Gideon deserve it.

Reid doesn't know how he managed to get back to the Gideon’s house, how he managed to hear Hotch and Rossi talking about what could have happened. But he was there, standing, by some miracle.

“Do you know who might want to have done this?” Hotch asked Stephen, who had arrived, his eyes red from the crying he struggled to hold.

“No. I know he had a list of things he wanted to do before he died... That's how we came back to speak, one of the things was to get back in touch.” His voice was so reminiscent of Gideon's that it was stabbed in the heart of Reid.

“Didn't he talk about being chased? Feeling anything strange?” Rossi commented.

Reid watched Stephen's expressions carefully, first because he reminded Gideon a lot, and second because he looked for any clues in his reactions.

Stephen took a second to think before saying: “No, but we both don't keep in touch daily, you know?” He swallowed a sob, probably with regret, but then his eyes lit up with some information: “'But Y/n surely know, they both spoke to each other every day, if my father was thinking differently, surely she know.”

The mention of your name hit Reid with a very different wave. Bringing a very different feeling than it should. At that moment, he felt himself holding the air.

For a second, a lapse of consciousness, Spencer had not connected any of this with your physical presence. The notion that you were Gideon's daughter was obvious but, for some reason, Spencer didn't think about the fact that you were going to be there. That you would share the same air with him again, the same place...

“We will have to call her, bring her here to see if something has been left, or taken. If there is anything important on the scene.” It was Hotch.

“I called her as soon as you guys called me.” Stephen said “She arrived from California the day before yesterday, my father and she were going to travel.” He tried to swallow the crying, his eyes trembling.

"And you weren't going?" Rossi added.

“I have a son and a wife.” He gave a smile broken by the sadness of the mourning “They would stop by before I go… Y/n was going to tell me the news, since our schedules hardly match much, she works as an astronomer in…”

“Caltech.” Spencer completed, without even realizing it, like a thought out loud.

“Yea.” Stephen agreed.

Spencer felt a chill go from head to toe, and another ton of feelings were thrown at his back. The reality that he was going to see you again hit him hard. Like an arrow. Suddenly, Reid wanted to get out of there. Run as far as possible.

He couldn't see you. He had no ability to deal with those feelings now. Not now, when his life was so overwhelmed with emotions for Gideon’s death that he still hadn't dealt Not when you aroused the feeling of... hope. Spencer can’t could hope, of any kind. Not for them to be taken from him with visceral force. Reid was already hurt enough for handling another fall.

“... But I don't think it's a good idea for my sister to be here, anyway.” Stephen continued to speak.

Rossi and Hotch frowned: “Why?”

“They were very connected. Seeing this scene is not going to do her any good...” he sobs this time “Y/n is not like me… she is sentimental, emotional. ”

“As long as you're trying to stay calm, she'll be the opposite.” Hotch completed.

“I just don't want my sister to suffer anymore and...”

But it was too late for Stephen to complete. It was too much for Spencer to escape. It was too late to be born again, in a different life.

A gray car moved forward on the stone road, at too high a speed not to have washed several road fines. That was so much typical of you who hurt Spencer's heart pieces more than he thought possible. More than he thought he could feel at the time. You were always so wild at the wheel. But Reid didn't have time to finish a thought, not even Rossi, Hotch, Morgan who was with them or even Stephen. Because car brutally stopped it, the door opened and…

And it was as if the sun came out from behind the clouds after years. As if summer had finally come after decades of overwhelming winter. In a burst, everything you've ever represented for Spencer has come back for him once again. And he felt the same thing that he felt when he first saw you, 8 years ago. And he was catatonic.

You got out of the car in a very hurried and desperate way. And as much as there were tears in your eyes and redness in cheeks, Spencer has never seen anyone so beautiful. Your hair was longer, in a brighter shade, maybe you had dyed it. Your features were more lyrical and beautiful, and Reid thought that the passage of time had no effect on you. While he considered himself just less clumsy over the years, you proved to be blooming like Romania's most superb rose.

“DAD!” But that was when your desperate voice brought Reid's consciousness back to earth.

You weren't calling your brother, you weren't asking why, you weren't in mourning. You were in denial. Disbelieving. You called out to your father, with the certainty that he would show up. And the despair in your eyes hurt Reid more than being shot.

But before the agents could do anything, you were running towards the house and Stephen ran towards you, taking you in his arms, trying to keep you from getting inside.

“LET ME GO, STEPHEN!” You struggled, trying to get rid of your brother's arms, your hair messing with the wind, tears streaming down your eyes. “They are wrong! It's not our father! Let me fucking go! DAD!”

“Y/n” Stephen had a broken heart in his eyes, some tears streaming down his eyes “You need to calm down before you get in there !”

“LET ME GO!” Yours sobs broke the hearts of the four agents over there “DAD!” You was cryng out, almost like a prayer, in a desperate call.

"He's gone, Y/n.” Your brother kept his arms stronger in you, trying to contain you while you struggle in trying to break free and go inside the house, under the illusion that you would find your father there.

“NO!” Now your crying was continuous “I spoke to him yesterday! It's not him, Stephen!” Then your brother turned you to him, holding you tight, and you melted into a visseral pain “It can't be him!”

“I know...” he sobbed, looking at you with the same shared pain “I know...”

So you gave yourself up to a painful, loud and desperate crying, the kind that won't let you breathe. And, unlike Reid, you fallen down. Your knees found the stone and grass floor, your hands clasped on Stephen's shirt, who knelt on the floor with you, delivered the pain you both shared.

You knew what your father's risks were in working in such a dangerous profession. Expose yourself to constant and frightening danger. You always knew about the risks, you just tried to ignore them all your life, sinking your fears about your father not coming home at night. Then, when he let the BAU, that fear dissipated. You felt a colossal weight being lifted off your shoulders, like tons of lead, and you let go of a fear so great that you didn't even know you had it.

For 8 years you thought that the chances of him not coming home were over, that the chances of seeing him the next day had increased dramatically. For 8 years you two traveled together, stopping at every type of diner for milkshake, chocolate ice cream and mint - his favorites - For 8 years you had your best friend, the only thing you knew you had in the world. You always knew that if you were drowning in the ocean, it would be your father who would give his lungs for you to breathe.

You didn't see a life without Gideon.

For you, you were crying for hours in what one day was your father's backyard, totally devastated, but for the rest of the world it was a matter of minutes.

Your sobs were so loud and real that Hotch and Rossi caught themselves with watery eyes, perfectly understanding the pain you were going through, the devastation. The two had lost many people, many of them being essential pieces to be able to continue breathing. Many of them felt wounds that would never heal.

But it was Rossi who approached you, the pain at the top of his throat, his mind wandering the day Gideon said he was going to have a little girl. Unlike Stephen, Rossi never saw you in person, but the sparkle in Jason's eyes whenever he talked about you, or with you on the phone, was enough to know that you were one of the essential pieces to keep breathing.

“Hi, my name is Rossi.” He knelt in front of you and your face went towards him, your cheeks and nose as red as your eyes.

“M-my dad talked about you."” You were still sobbing, slowly letting go of Stephen's shirt.

"Good things, I hope.” The two of you laughed like a sigh, and soon the pain returned to your eyes in a visseral way. “I know this is not fair, and I know it is asking too much, but I need you to go inside and try to find something out of place. Something that whoever did this to your father may have taken or left. ”

You closed your eyes in pain, tears streaming as you sobbed. Your hands, trembling and cold, went to your face, perhaps trying to hide from reality, perhaps wiping away tears. Maybe both. When you looked back at Rossi again, you saw the pain in his eyes too.

"I don't know if I can do it.” You admitted, your voice shaking.

"I know.” Rossi took his hand to yours, squeezing comfortingly “But only you can help us now, help other daughters not lose their father to the same killer. Being inside in the house can bring information that is in your subconscious. I promise you will make it, we will all be here with you.”

His handshake got stronger, and it reminded you of your father. That should have been the same way he comforted the victims' relatives, the way he was supposed to act with people.

'Everyone is somebody's son.' That's what Gideon said. It hit you like an atomic bomb. And, for a moment, you thought it was possible to die of sadness.

You squeezed Rossi's hand tightly, as if you were looking for courage. When you opened eyes again, you gave a weak nod. Carefully, as if any sudden movement is capable of causing you more pain, you stood up, your legs wobbly, your heart bleeding, sadness clouding your vision. Rossi put his hand behind your back, in a way to make sure him were there, as an anchorage in reality that would not let you get lost in the valley of sadness and pain.

As you walked up to the house, you didn't see the other agents, you didn't see the trees, the cars. At that time, you didn't even know what color the sky was anymore. It was like a suspended moment, when the world is in slow motion, the hemisphere is terrified. The sadness was palpable in the breeze, in the way that the rays of the sun did not reach the ground. The whole land looked like mourning.

As soon as you stepped inside the house, the smell of home and Gideon hit your nose, and you felt your face tighten in an expression of pure pain. You didn't notice the agents coming in behind you, you didn't notice Penelope and JJ. You just saw the furniture, the decor, his stuff. As if Gideon had just left for the market and was going to come back.

Everything was in was there. Minus the most important thing: him.

You did not notice when Rossi left you, you did not notice who approached. Everything was in a haze of pain.

But that's when you saw the strong blood marks on the floor, stuck to the wood with possession. A cold shiver as sighed from death ricocheted through your entire body, bristling all over your skin. In a burst, like the bursting of a violin string, the mist dissipated, the state of tupor burst, and reality hit you with overwhelming force.

And then the plug fell.

Jason Gideon had died.

You fell again, barely noticing the sobs and loud crying starting to come out again, the most desperate and painful in you life. But this time the arms that took you were different, bringing with you sensations that you haven't felt in a long time. That a long time ago you forgot that you could feel.

They were long, thin, and contained a vigor hidden beneath the thin facade. The smell of his presence was… heaven. That feeling was your anchorage on the high seas, in the valley of despair, and you clung to him for fear of drowning, of not finding your way back home.

You didn't have to see it to know who it was.

You turned to the arms that took you, now Spencer kneels with you on the floor, and you cried in a way that you never cried before, with a visseral pain. Your hands went to the brown cardigan he wore, closing there as if the fabric was your only chance for salvation.

So you looked at the immensity of the his brown irises.

"He was the only thing I had, Spen.” You sobbed loudly with the crying, gently swaying his coat, your voice utterly torn.

Spencer felt his eyes sting, his throat lock and the remains of what was his heart ache in a hideous way.

“I know.” He felt a tear run down his left cheek, his hands on your arms.

At this time, the two of you supported each other. Gideon meant a lot to you two. An irreplaceable role in yours life. And Spencer knew that was what you were talking about when you said:

"He was the only thing we both had.” You closed your eyes, your hands still firmly on his coat, your heart pounding.

But this time Spencer's voice was just as broken when he said: “I know.”

Then he hugged you.He hugged you for everything. He hugged you because it was a pain that only you two could understand. He hugged you because you needed it, and because he needed too.

Jason Gideon had a special connection with you two, a connection that only the two of you had ever experienced. Each relationship with Gideon was different, special in different ways, but only the two of you had him as a protector, mentor, a much more paternal and confidant figure. He was the kind of person you could leave your life in his hands, the kind who would teach you the secret of the worlds, show you what goodness was and at the same time strength. And you two had that.

You stained Reid's coat with tears, and Reid stained you with the strong smell he had. He stepped far enough away to be able to see your face perfectly, at a considerable distance, and, against everything he had ever done before with anyone, he took your face in his hands, his eyes fixed on your in pain shared.

“We will catch how did it.” Reid assured you, as if he had tattooed this words on your skin. You closed your eyes in pain, but he brought you back “Hey, keep looking at me."

So you did it. Because you would always follow Spencer. To hell if he asked.

"Don't take your eyes off mine, okay?” His voice was so sweet, so gentle, and you couldn't have done anything but agree. “When was the last time you spoke to Gideon?”

“Yesterday.” You replied “We were going to travel to the beach today, I took a vacation from work.”

“Was he at home when you two talked?”

The team looked at each other, with several questions in those look.

You denied it, the hiccup now because of the shortness of breath you had because of the crying.

“He stopped at Roanoke for...” and that's when you seemed to remember something.

Your eyes widened softly, your lips trembled, and you let out a stammering sigh as you try to remember something very important.

“What do you remember?” Spencer stroked your cheeks with his thumbs, trying to calm the beating of your heart that went back to being frantic and making you focus on the question, not the sea of ​​emotions you felt.

“He…” was when your eyes fluttered before meeting Reid's again. “He said he saw a woman on the news who was found dead. And ... and that he had to make sure of one thing ”

Rossi looked at Hotch, who gave an attentive and objective expression.

“Did he tell you why?” His eyes closed again and you sobbed. Reid moved closer, bringing your face back in his direction again “Look at me, Y/n.”

As soon as you did, he gave you a gentle smile, but contained all the pain in the world. He understood what you were felling.

“Why was he interested in the case?” He changed the question.

“I-it was something about...” you searched in your mind “Girl named Tara. I don’t know. He mentioned about a blue butterfly tattoo on her ankle as well, and that it was something to do with a… a case or something.”

“1978” Rossi interrupted and everyone looked at him “Gideon and I worked on a case in 1978, the suspect was never caught and Tara was a teenager who we thought had been kidnapped by him. The killer left dead birds in the hands of the victims ”

“But he didn't mention birds and...” That's when your eyes, fluttering, darted around the room and you stopped abruptly.

Spencer turned his attention to you again, seeing that you were staring somewhere. His hands slowly left your face and he asked:

“What?”

“The board.” You pointed to your father's board, which had a beautiful brown bird.

“Does say anything to you?” Rossi turned his attention to you.

You shook your head, your body too exhausted to go to the painting and examine it.

“He shot the board.” You looked at the agents “My father loved that painting, he never would have done that. Even though my father is stunned, he has the best aim I have ever seen.”

“The devil is in the details." Rossi went to the pinting and, after two seconds, turned to the team and said “I already know who did this.”

You let out a gigantic sigh of relief as the agents split up to continue the case, speaking so fast that you couldn't keep up.

“I helped?” You looked at Spencer, tears still shining in your eyes.

He smiled and nodded “Very.”

But when he got up, you took his hand, making Reid turn his attention back to you again, a questioning look on his face.

“You're going to get it, aren't you?” The sob invaded your voice "Promise me that you will catch him, Spen."

Reid took his hand in your, giving you a strong, comforting squeeze before saying:

"I will. I promise.”

And then he left, along with the other agents.

- - -

You thought you knew what pain was, the loss, the tightness in the heart. You thought that your many relationship breakdowns showed you what it was like to suffer. But you have never been so wrong. None of that compared to how you were now, to what you felt.

You would trade that feeling for anything in the world.

This was terrible. A cold, coercive, brutal and cruel feeling. As if you were at the bottom of a black ocean, unable to breathe, falling deeper and deeper, consumed by the overwhelming cold of the water.

It was impossible to say in words how you felt. But if it were you had to define it in one word you would say: pain. A pain that bends you, a pain that makes you want to scream, that pierces your lungs so that it is not possible to breathe, but that even so, you fight for air.

It was pain at its rawest, most brutal, sharp and atrocious like a dagger blade. You would go through Dante's hells for eternity instead of living one day with that pain.

Since Spencer and the agents went after the person in charge, you have sat on the steps of the front door, watching the nature, the shaking of the trees, but your attention was so far, far away. Perhaps unattainable.

Gideon always loved watching the seasons go by, and in that moment, you wondered if looking at the same thing he looked at every day would make you feel close to him. Feel with him. It had only been three days since you last saw him, when he picked you up at the airport, but you felt like you were past three lives. How would you go without it? How were you able to think of living without it?

You pulled your knees up against your chest, hugging your legs, the metallic, atrocious and icy taste of devastation stuck to yours in your mouth. The trees shook hard, forcing the birds to fly away, but you didn't feel cold. You were not feeling the cold breeze hit your body, nor were your muscles contracting in exhaustion from the hard wood of the steps you were sitting on.

The hunger, the cold, the heat or the craving could not reach you, as if the pain had paralyzed all your system. Probably your soul.

You didn't see when Stephen put father's blanket over your shoulders, nor did you hear his sobs for seeing you so devastated. But you smelled Gideon, and the warmth of the blanket was like having his arms around you again. Then the rest of the water in your body found its way to your eyes and crying was as automatic as breathing.

You were clinging to Spencer taking the son of a bitch who did it, trying to chase away any other thoughts that weren't about that. You didn't want to think about what would happen after he was caught. Which meant his capture for you. It would bring justice to Gideon, honoring his name, his life, but it wouldn't bring him back. What was taken from you would not be repaired, regardless of the end of that damned man.

When he was caught, you would have nothing else to focus on instead.

You don't know how long you stayed there. Hours? Days? The those peach and gold tones in the sky is from dusk or the dawn of a new day?

You had lost track of time, as if your watch had stopped since the time Gideon died.

The sound of cars on the road was the only thing that pulled you out of your fucking valley, and as soon as the black SUVs stopped, you stood up as if you had been waiting your whole life for that moment. The blanket fell from your shoulders, heart accelerated at an alarming rate, and for a second, everything was gone from your mind.

Rossi was the first to get out of the car, but yours eyes darted to Reid. You wanted to run, ask what had happened, listen to the answers. But you were paralyzed in place. Afraid of the truth, of reality.

What would become of you after that news?

Spencer came towards you without hesitation, and you couldn't take your eyes off him for a second. He didn't say anything, nor did he explain anything. It was not needed. The way he reached out his hand and placed your father's rings in your palm were enough answers.

Your whole body shook and you looked at Reid with more emotions than askers.

"He is dead." He told you, and it made you fall down again.

But this time you fell into his hugging, clinging to him in despair. There were many meanings in that embrace: gratitude, relief, fear, pain and grief. And Spencer hugged you back in the same way.

You two stayed that way for a while, even when the agents went to talk to Stephen, even when Garcia and JJ left the house, even when the cold wind hit you both.

“Thanks." You heard yourself say it, and Spencer shook his head, signaling that it wasn't necessary, and the two of you moved away.

So you went to Rossi, and hugged him too. In that second, Rossi could feel Gideon in that hug, and it took a second to not cry.

“Your father was a great man." He told you when the two of you walked away, and you agreed on a sad smile.

"He was." You looked down at the rings in your hand, staying a second there before turning to the agents and saying: “You guys are going to the funeral, aren't you? I ... my dad would like it w-very much.”

"Of course." Rossi guaranteed it.

As they walked away and went back to the car, heading for their own houses, your eyes met Spencer's and he whispered in the air to you:

“I will see you at the funeral."

You nodded, giving you a sad, grateful smile. And while everyone was leaving and you were looking at the rings in your hand again, you had a feeling that your story with Spencer had just started over.

A/n: I also lost a very important person to death, and for everyone who went through it too, I mean that no one is alone! My message box is open if you need anything! Love you❤️

Tagged @gublersuvula

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