#just gotta complain and let the built up steam out once in a while

[swankpalanquin]

every time i think maybe season four wasn't that bad (compared to tbe rest of the show) and i was just being overdramatic, im reminded of bitey and im like... oh. right :l

[sunflower-gvf]

Medicine

Harry Styles x Fem!Reader

SMUT, THIS ONE IS SO FILTHY SO PLZ 18+

Warnings: degrading kink, size kink, p in v, facefucking, oral sex (m receiving), daddy kink, choking, spanking, slapping, spitting, a little bit of pain kink, fluff at the end

~not my gif~

It started out like any other show, you watched from backstage as Harry performed. But tonight something was different, every note he sung and every movement he made had you aching for him. You didn’t think it could get any worse, but you spoke too soon. You heard the opening to “Medicine” and mentally cursed. Seeing him throw his head back with a slight moan in one part had you soaking through the flimsy fabric of your panties. As soon as the show was over you ran to his dressing room, pulling off your clothes and laying on the small couch.

“Fuck,” You breathed as your fingers made circles on your clit, trying to relieve the built up tension. Soft moans and whimpers fell from your mouth, too focused on reaching your high to realize you weren’t alone.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Harry’s voice broke you out of your trance. Pulling your hand off your body, you saw him standing at the end of the couch, steam practically coming out of his ears. 

“I-I, I didn’t-” You stuttered, trying to find some sort of excuse. 

“Spit it out, angel.” You stayed silent, knowing you didn’t have a good excuse. He walked over, towering over your desperate body. “You know you shouldn’t touch yourself without my permission.” His ring clad hand roughly grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at him. 

“Please, Harry.” He slapped your cheek, rings stinging your face.

“‘S not my name, is it, darling?” He tilted his head, taunting you.

“Please, Daddy.” You corrected, a grin taking over his face at the name.

“On your knees.” Scrambling to the floor, you knelt on the scratchy carpet. You went to unbutton his pants but his hands quickly slapped them away. “No touching, baby.” Whimpering at his words, you watched as he removed all his clothing.

“Daddy please, I need you.” You whined but were quickly cut off by Harry’s hands pulling your hair.

“Shut the fuck up, you’ll take what I give you.” His words barely registered in your head as you opened your mouth and he forced you onto his cock. A salty taste filled your mouth as he did a few test-thrusts, making sure you were okay. After he knew you could handle it, he picked up his face, fucking your mouth. “Fuck, you like that, angel? You like me fucking your mouth?” You choked around his cock as you bobbed your head up and down. The sound of Harry fucking your mouth and his moans filled the room. You could feel him getting close right before he pulled away. “You okay?”

“I need you so bad, Daddy.” Your words were raspy due to the previous assault on your throat. Harry said nothing, pulling you up by wrapping a large hand around your throat. He sat on the small couch and pulled your body over his so your lap was across his.

“Count.” Was all he said before landing a smack on your ass.

“O-One,” You breathed out, the pain sending pleasure throughout your body. “Two,” You couldn’t even think about anything else other than him. 

“F-Fifteen,” When your “punishment” if you could call it that, was finally over you were actually dripping onto his thighs.

“Makin’ a mess of m’thighs, angel.” One of his fingers ran through your folds, swiping across your wetness. 

“Please, Daddy, I need you so bad, I can’t.” Tears started to pool in your eyes. Once again, he had no reply. Harry pulled you up by your hair, forcing you to walk backwards until your bare back came in contact with the wall. 

“Do y’really think I’d give you want y’want just because of some tears?” He faked sympathy as he wiped them off from underneath your eyes. He brought his lips to your ear, “You’re gonna get whatever I give you, without complaining.”

“Daddy please, I promise I won’t disobey you again, just please fuck me.” The tears he wiped away finally fell, mascara running down your cheeks. 

“You asked for it, angel.” His words confused you, but that confusion was quickly wiped away when he pushed into you. Harry gave you no time to adjust to his size, quickly thrusting in and out of you.

“O-Oh my god, you’re so big, Daddy. Feels so good.” You were a complete mess under him, the sound of your moans reverberated throughout the small room. He snaked a hand around your throat and his rings digging into your throat. The lack of air only added to the heightening pleasure coursing through your veins.

“Open your mouth,” You were confused but did so anyways. It was a pleasurable surprise when he spit into your mouth. “Swallow.”

“F-Fuck!” You moaned. He slapped your cheek once more. 

“This what you wanted? To be fucked like a whore?” He growled into your ear, his pace never once faltering. “Gotta be quiet f’me, don’t want everyone to hear you moaning under me like a cockslut,” His words made you clench around him and moan louder, causing him to cover your mouth with his other hand. “Oh, you’d like that, though, wouldn’t you? Everyone watching while you fall apart f’me, such a fucking whore.” His words were degrading, but they only spurred you on and brought you closer to your release.

“Daddy, fuck, please I can’t, I need to cum. Please let me cum, I’ve been a good girl.” You sobbed, desperate to cum.

“Yeah? C���mon then, cum f’me, show me how good you are.” Those words were all you needed and you fell off the edge. Your entire body shook and eyes rolled to the back of your head when you felt him finish inside of you. The exhaustion quickly took over as the adrenaline wore off, your body would’ve collapsed onto the floor if it wasn’t for Harry holding you up. “Are you okay, angel? I didn’t go too hard, did I?” You opened your eyes to see him stroking your hair while bringing you over to the couch.

“No, it was amazing, H, you’re amazing.” He could barely understand what you were saying because of how slurred together your words were.

“C’mon, let’s get home so we can properly clean you up.” Harry tried his best to put your clothes back on your mostly limp body. “Thank you for t’night, I love you. My perfect angel.” 

a/n

PHEW IS IT HOT IN HERE OR IS IT JUST ME?

also i havent proof read this so there are probably mistakes

i was listening to medicine and this came into my brain so enjoy

please request anything in my request tab or just talk to me :)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

More than just a game

Warnings: dark elements including noncon and rape, oral, fingering, doxxing, stalking, and other explicit content. 

This is dark!Jake Jensen and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You find a new gaming buddy but he sees you as more than that.

Note: So this is my first Jake Jensen fic and it was lots of fun so let me know what you think and hope you enjoy. :D

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Special shout-out to @navybrat817​ for helping me with this idea

After too many nights scrolling through subreddits and searching for something to keep you distracted, you decided to bite the hook. Several other redditors agreed to hop on Minecraft and it had been a while since you logged in. You missed the almost relaxing ritual of mining and building.

You joined the chat, quick to hit the little microphone emblem as you listened to the voices in your headset. You learned long ago to keep your mic muted on the servers, especially with strangers. The last time you dared to speak up as a woman in a game chat, your DMs had become so overwhelmed you deleted and started a new account on Discord and changed your ID on Steam.

You were all given your tasks as players called out coordinates and you kept to chopping up the side of a mountain. You mostly worked alone, chatting through text instead of voice chat. As you placed a crafting table in your little mine, another player, JJ-Smooth, popped up and dropped some iron for you. 

He stayed close but you didn’t mind. A lot of players tried to work together the deeper they got and you were used to it. As you uncovered some lava, he dumped water before you could get burned and helped you hack up the obsidian. 

He thanked you on the voice chat but you knew any courtesy in return would earn you the attention of the entire server. So you dropped some gold for him and went on your way.

“I hear a zombie,” he warned.

You turned to hack up the undead before it could get you, only to be shot by a skeleton hidden on the next level. Another appeared and you died before you could hide, the bony villain killed by your ally as you watched your possession scatter over the death screen.

“Hey, I got your stuff,” he said as you loaded back up, “I’ll find you.”

You typed quickly in the chat, ‘sorry, mic busted, give me your coordinates and I’ll come to you.’

You waited as ‘JJ-Smooth is typing…’ appeared at the bottom and finally he sent the numbers. You hopped over the blocky hills and through the forests until you found the mine again. He was just outside and handed over all your tools and ration. He headed back into the mine and you followed him. This time, you began your own path in the opposite direction.

Before you knew it, you’d lost track of time. You sat back as you realised it was only you and JJ on the server. The silence should have tipped you off earlier. He was the host and you felt super awkward for staying so long. You typed that you were logging off for the night and thanked him. 

You hit the keyboard with your knuckle and yawned as you opened the screen, 

“God, it’s late,” you muttered.

“Hello?” he said.

Your eyes rounded as you looked at the mic symbol and the lack of red line made you cringe. You’d hit an extra button without noticing.

“Um, hi, sorry, I just--”

“Mic busted, huh?” he asked.

“No, I--” you didn’t know what to say, “anyways, I should--”

“So, you’re a chick? Is that why you mute?”

“Uh, well, it’s just… easier, sorry, I--” even if you weren’t trying to hide from gamer dudes, you weren’t the best at conversation.

��A gamer girl, nice,” he said and you sighed, “sorry, that sounded weird, didn’t it?”

“Mhmm,” you touched your bottom lip as you cupped your chin, “it’s late, I have to work tomorrow.”

“You comin’ back?” he asked, almost hopeful.

“I don’t know--”

“I won’t tell anyone,” he said abruptly, “promise, lips sealed.”

“I really don’t know if I can do this too much, I usually work early mornings so… yeah,” you said.

“I get it but you know you’re always welcome, hope you don’t mind if I send you an invite now and then. No pressure,” he offered.

“Uh, sure,” you shrugged, “okay, yeah, good night.”

You left the chat quickly and pulled off your headset. Shit.

‘I’m Jake by the way,’ a pm popped up, ‘gg.’

You typed back, ‘gg, it was fun’ and quickly logged out. You sat back and rubbed your eyes. Well, he didn’t seem like a total creep, maybe just a bit awkward but so were you. You shut down for the night and stretched out as you switched off the lamp. You were going to pay for your session in the morning.

🎮

A few nights later you got an invite to the server. You debated it but as it was Friday, you decided to make good use of the PC you’d saved up forever to build. You spawned in the middle of nowhere and built a bed before you found the half-finished settlement. You joined the chat but you must have been early as you were the only one there.

You headed back to the same mine, some work done since the first night, and laid your torches as you ventured into the depths. You jumped in your seat as a voice broke your peace.

“I don’t think anyone else is gonna join,” JJ-Smooth, or Jensen said, “you think maybe you’ll unmute?”

You stopped your mining and stared at the screen. You hovered over the mic button and re-read his name, he was the only other one there. You clicked and gave a strained smile to the screen.

“So, um, what’s the goal tonight?” you asked.

“Get some materials and go back to the settlement, keep building, oh, maybe we could try a portal, you ever gone to the nether?” he said but before you could reply he kept on, “shit, I shouldn’t assume, you seem like an experienced player.”

“Yeah, a few times, but I’m more a casual miner,” you went back to harvesting stone and ore.

“Ah,” he said, and it was silent for a moment, “so, you work again in the morning?”

“Not tomorrow,” you said as you focused on the game, “daycare isn’t open on the weekends.”

“A daycare, huh? That sounds fun, I love kids… not in a weird way but you know, I… urgh, I have a niece,” he said with a nervous chuckle, “nah, that’s cool though, sounds more fun than my gig.”

“Oh?” you turned and kept your axe moving.

“IT. You know, some people would be like ‘hey Jensen, why do you spend all your free time staring at a screen when that’s what you do at work?’” he scoffed, “well, who says I’m not mining there too.”

You wrinkled your forehead and gave a small laugh. He was rambling and it was kinda odd. You were happy for once not to be the strange one.

“But anyway,” he said, “I found lots of diamond over here. If we get some lapis lazuli we can build an enchanting table and get some sick armour.”

“Awesome,” you pressed your fingertips to your lip as you leaned on your elbow, “should try to head back before dark…”

“Hard to tell down here. How about you mine and I’ll keep an eye out for monsters?” he offered.

“Sure,” you agreed as he came onto your screen, “that works.”

🎮

Another week went by and you ventured back into the server a few times but not for very long as late nights did not mix with young children. The next weekend, you joined again on Saturday night and like the last few times it was just you and Jensen. You wondered why no one else was joining when the subreddit was so popular but you didn’t worry about it for long.

You mostly played in silence, Jensen did most of the talking and it was never about anything more than the game or his niece’s last soccer game. That night when you left the game, he kept typing on Discord.

‘I like playing with you,’ his message blipped up.

‘Same, thx.’

‘Really, you’re awesome.’

‘Thx :) Tired, gotta sleep.’

‘Sweet dreams.’

‘Night.’

You changed your status to offline and dragged yourself to bed. You opened your phone as you laid in the dark and went to the subreddit, you scrolled through the builds and screenshots of other people’s catastrophes. 

You came to Jensen’s last invite post from that night but all the comments complained that the world code was incorrect. Hmm, you should tell him next time.

You blackened your cell and plopped it on your night table. You rolled over and buried your face in the pillow, the light still etched into your vision. You fell asleep quickly and woke the next day to another invite from Jensen.

‘How about some Fortnite? If you’re into it?’

‘Srry, can’t, my mom’s expecting me for lunch.’

‘2 bad, maybe later.’

‘Maybe’.

You got ready to go see your mother for your usual Sunday afternoon visit and it went by like any other. When she asked you what you’d been up to, you didn’t mention the gaming, she was never a fan of it. When you got back home, Jensen was messaging you again. You didn’t open the notification and settled in to catch up on some streaming before another week of work.

Monday hit you like a train and you were glad you hadn’t spent the night mining again. If you had, you doubted you’d even be able to open your eyes. You got to the daycare centre and welcomed in the kids. You got them set up for the morning snack then cleaned up as Sandy took them over to the reading circle.

You wiped the tables and then did some painting before you went out for some play time in the yard. As you watched several of the children on the swings, you glanced around. There was a man across the street. You squinted through the chain link as he seemed to be watching but assured yourself it was nothing as he quickly headed for the corner and disappeared.

Inside, the kids were due for quiet time, some napped and those who didn’t, stared at the ceiling and yawned. You could have joined them but knew that wouldn’t be acceptable. The end of the day came and you helped the kids pack up their paintings and their sweaters. You waited in the yard with them as the parents showed up and handed them off one by one.

You waved to Danika as she clung to her mother and your eye was once more drawn beyond the chain link. The same faded grey jacket, the same glasses, and the hat with the frayed brim. It was a better look at the man. Was he looking at you? Why on earth was he hanging around outside a daycare?

“Sandy,” you turned and lowered your voice as she neared, “see that man?”

She peeked over and shrugged, “which one? The guy crossing the street?”

You looked up again and like before, he was walking away casually as if he hadn’t just been staring through the fence. You shook your head and huffed. “Sorry, never mind.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” she waved her fingers, “come on, let’s clean up.”

With the kids all sorted out, you went back in and tidied up the last of their mess. You and Sandy were friendly but like with any, you weren’t very talkative. You never really knew what to say but you were never unkind.

You pulled on your jacket and checked your purse for your phone and wallet. You checked the time and turned off the lights. You bid Sandy goodbye as she headed for her SUV and you took your usual route down the sidewalk towards your bus stop. 

You stopped short as the man was there. You were paranoid, he must just be waiting for the same route. You approached and he turned to watch you as you sat on the bench. He smiled and the dread sank deep in your chest. 

His rectangular glasses gave light to his blue eyes and a goatee trimmed his jaw. He was tall and well-built, you could tell even under his comic book tee. He was going to talk to you, another weirdo in the city.

“Hey,” his voice was chillingly familiar, “how was your day?”

You stared at him and blinked cluelessly. You looked around, it was only the two of you. You opened your mouth but you had to be wrong. He said your name and you winced.

“Jensen?” you breathed as you stood and squeezed the strap of your bag, “why? How--?”

“You weren’t answering me, I was worried,” he said, “just making sure you’re okay.”

“What the-- I don’t understand how--” He stepped closer and you backed up against the bench. “Don’t, I’ll scream.”

“Scream? Why? I’m just-- You know me, it’s me, Jensen.”

“You doxxed me?” you snapped, “what the hell?”

“No, I didn’t-- I’m just checking on you--”

“I don’t know you,” you said as your heart began to race, “so please, leave me alone,” you edged away from him, “and don’t message me again.”

You sprinted across the street and as you came up on the curb, you looked back at him. He watched you but didn’t follow. You could tell from there he wasn’t happy but the brim of his cap shadowed most of his face so you couldn’t guess if it was hurt or anger. You quickly spun away and continued down the next street to the nearest stop.

You couldn’t believe he’d just shown up like that. You couldn’t believe he would think that was okay. You couldn’t believe he’d think that much about you.

🎮

You blocked Jensen on Discord and left his world on Minecraft. That night you were shaky and nervous, afraid that he would show up at your apartment. Did he know where you lived? He must if he could figure out where you worked.

You didn’t open Steam that night. You paced your small apartment, jumping at every noise. Sleep didn’t come easily but in shallow spurts that left you even more tired. You watched over your shoulder as you walked to your stop and boarded with one eye on the door.

Work was little better as you found yourself distracted in the room full of toddlers. Sandy asked if you were okay as you kneaded play-do violently. You shook yourself out of your paranoia and assured her you were only short on sleep, not a complete lie.

You took out your phone when you stepped out for a small break. Your mom had called but you would have to get back to her when you had two hours to waste. There was another notification, that one from Discord, a friend request from JJ-NoRematch. It wasn’t hard to guess who it was and you declined it right away.

There were several others from Jensen, too. He followed your Insta, blocked; he followed your mostly empty twitter, blocked; and he even commented on your LinkedIn like a weird. You closed your phone and took a breath before you headed back into the kids, their voices rising in their excitement to go outside.

In the yard, you had another look around, expecting to see him there on the other side of the fence. You were slightly relieved when he wasn’t but still on edge. You joined a game of tag then watched several of the kids line up for the slide. You lost yourself in your job as you told yourself he must have gotten the hint, at least not to bother you irl.

Just like the day before, and every day, you left work and headed for your stop. He wasn’t there either and you sat down and phoned your mom, hanging up as the bus pulled up with a promise to call her again when you were home. At home, you felt almost normal again and checked your notifications; no more follows, no more requests, nothing.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday passed in a similar fashion. Each saw your anxieties less than the day before. You even resolved to open Steam and start a new world for yourself. You spent hours mining and almost fell asleep in your chair. When you nearly tipped over, you decided it was time for bed.

You slept better than you had all week and woke up before noon. You wanted to log right back on but you had life to deal with; groceries, cleaning, and of course, making that call to your mother you’d delayed the night before. After all that, you felt accomplished and you decided to treat yourself to take out, a rare divulgence.

You called the local Chinese eatery and waited eagerly for your feast as you turned on a new episode of your current binge. You played on your phone until the battery was low and had enough juice to buzz up the delivery man. You dug for your wallet as you went to the door and unlocked it without looking up.

“How much--” you asked as you opened the door.

Your eyes met a familiar pair, two blue gems behind a pair of narrow glasses. Jensen wore the same cap and held the paper bag of take-out with a smile. You grabbed the door and tried to swing it shut but he was too quick as he slapped a large hand against the peeling paint.

“It’s on me,” he said, “I love spare ribs.”

“What the--” you gasped as you pushed on the door helplessly, “please go away.”

“You’re not answering me,” he said as he stepped closer and forced you back as his body brushed against yours, “you blocked me and I can’t even get a hey, Jensen, how are you?”

“I don’t want you here,” you tried to shove him and he shouldered you away easily, “get out!”

He slammed the door and you flinched. He put the bag down on the corner table and reached back to twist the lock without a look. His eyes roved around your entryway and further into your apartment. He smiled as they stilled and focused on you.

“This place is cute… like you,” he said and you heard a slight hesitation in his voice.

You swallowed and backed away from him. You spun on your heel and ran for your couch. You reached over the back to your phone and unlocked it as the battery icon flashed. You had just enough juice to make the call. You dialed as you turned back to him.

“I’m calling the police so you b-better l-leave,” you warned as your voice and hands shook, “I me--”

He was quick and before you could pull away, he swiped your cell out of your hand. He scoffed and tossed it across the room. It hit the wall and landed screen down on the hardwood. You bit down and pressed yourself to the couch. You stared at him and kicked yourself forward as you tried to slip past him. He caught you and wrestled you back into the front room.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked calmly as you struggled in his grasp, “I’ve been nothing but nice to you.”

“N-no, you’re-- you-- let me go,” you stammered as he angled you around the couch. He pushed you down so you bounced on the cushion. You tried to push yourself up and he pointed his finger in your face and wagged it. 

“No, you stay,” he growled and wiped his other hand on his jeans. He was nervous, even if he was angry.

“Please, why-- what do you want?” you grasped the cushion and hovered at the edge of the couch.

He sighed and sat in the chair. He took his hat off and set it on the table as he ran his fingers through his short hair. 

“Good question,” he said as his jaw squared and his eyes turned to pinpoints, “better one, why did you block me?”

“Are you serious? You-- you--” you struggled to get your words out, your voice even more splintered by your fear, “you doxxed me, you came to-- to my work-- and…”

“I thought we were getting along. I thought you liked me,” he said with a frown, “I really did, you sure acted like it and-- I only wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“But why wouldn’t I be? I--” you shivered and crossed your arms as you withered beneath his gaze, “Jensen, this was only supposed to be online.”

He scoffed and stomped his boot on the floor. He shook his head as he looked to the ceiling and his anger bulged along his temple. He tilted his head and looked at you again.

“You know, for years, I have been a nice guy, I am a nice guy,” he pushed his shoulders to his ears as he threw his hand out, “I’m so patient and caring and you girls, you don’t even give me a second look.”

“Jensen--”

“No, really, I mean look at you, you’re no supermodel and yet it’s the same thing, ‘let’s just be friends’,” he spat, “but I watch guys all the time treat women like shit and they don’t have any trouble at all, they got them hanging off of them and I’m a creep for giving them a compliment or opening the door--”

“I don’t… know you,” you eked out, “you have to understand--”

“I don’t understand,” he stood abruptly, “I’m done trying to understand.”

He pulled his jacket open and slid it down his arms. You watched him sling it over the chair and as he turned back to you, you stood. He caught your shoulders and held you in place. His strength was plain in his grip as he squeezed then slowly moved his hands to cradle your face.

“I just wanna be nice,” he said as he leaned in. You tried to pull away but he moved a hand around the back of your head and forced your lips against his. He poked his tongue inside your mouth roughly as you tried to shove him away. Finally, he parted, his hands still firmly around your head, “wasn’t that nice?”

“Please,” you begged as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip.

His eyes searched your face as you stared back at him in terror. He sighed and dropped his hands back to your shoulders. He pushed you down to the sofa harshly and backed away.

“Fine, I won’t be nice,” he snarled as he took his glasses off and folded them carefully. He put them on the table beside his cap and twined his fingers together, loudly cracking his knuckles.

You blinked at him as your eyes grew glossy. You brought your legs up under you and pressed yourself to the back of the couch. You grasped the upholstery and turned as you launched yourself over to the other side. You stumbled as you landed on your feet and ran for the door.

You were yanked back as he snaked his arms around you and took you off your feet. You kicked out and screamed but it was cut off by his palm as he kept one arm around your middle. You scratched at his hand as he dragged you back to the couch. He pushed you face down onto the cushions and planted his knee in the middle of your back, slipping his hand away as he put enough weight on you to keep your voice suffocated.

“Listen, I know I look like some IT nerd but I’m a lot more than that, now don’t make me hurt you,” he played with your hair as he smiled down at you, “you try that again and I will shut you up and if someone hears you, I can take care of them too.”

You sniffed as tears pricked in your eyes and nodded frantically as it felt as if he would snap your spine. He pushed off of you and you stayed as you were, paralysed with fear. He sat and unlaced his boots one at a time. He looked up as he set them neatly beside the foot of the chair and he bent to catch your eye.

“Well?” he pointed at you and traced the line of your body in the air, “let’s go.”

You stared at him dumbly and he stood to pull his tee over his head. His torso was sculpted perfectly and his chest trimmed with hair that trailed all the way down to his pants. He stepped forward and tugged at the back of your shirt.

“You want me to do it for you, baby?” he purred, “I can help you.”

You swatted him away and sat up. You bent your legs to your chest and hugged them. “Please, I’m scared, just leave me alone--”

His hand rested on his belt and exhaled again. His fingers moved swiftly to unloop the striped belt and unbutton his jeans. He pushed them down, nearly tripping as he stepped out of them. He stood in his boxers, tented with his impatient excitement, and gripped his hips.

“It’s okay, baby, I know you’re shy, I am too,” he neared and you winced as he grabbed your wrist. He tugged on your arm and you resisted until he bent your hand back painfully and you cried out. He tickled your jaw as he looked you in the eye and tutted, “it doesn’t have to be like this, alright?”

You went limp and let him pull your arms apart. Your legs slipped down and your feet dangled above the floor. He got to his knees and pushed between yours. He slowly rolled up the hem of your shirt and bent to kiss your stomach as he bared the flesh. You trembled as he forced your arms up and swooped the fabric over your head. It fluttered through the air and to the floor as he cupped your tits through your bright pink bra.

“Is this so bad?” he asked as he nuzzled your chest and pushed your tits up. 

He glided the straps down your arm and slid your bra lower so that you popped out. He nibbled at your flesh and traced your nipples with his tongue. You sat rigid and let him explore your body, too terrified to move a muscle. He reached around you and struggled with the hooks, frustrated he snapped the clasps and the band came free.

He continued to play with your chest, his fingers crawling up and down your stomach and sides. There was a genuine curiosity to his touch and it sent a chill through you. His fingertips pressed to the top of your pants and he pulled at them as his lips travelled down to your hip.

He tugged on your pants and jerked your entire body. He tore them lower as he pushed you up and you lifted yourself to let him peel away the layer. He added them to the floor and toyed with the elastic of your panties. The little bow in the front drew his attention as he pushed your legs wider and ran his nose along the cotton.

He hummed and rubbed his fingers down your crotch, pushing the fabric to your folds as he teased you through them. You inhaled sharply at the tingle it inspired and he pressed firmer against you, flicking his fingers along your bud as he noticed how it made you squirm.

He gently pulled aside the cotton and you felt his hot breath against you. You pushed on his head before he could delve into you. “Please, don’t--”

“Shhhh,” he threw your hand away from his head and bent over you, “just relax.”

He dragged his tongue along your cunt and lingered around your clit. You clenched as it sent a thrill through you and he moved his lips against you, suckling at you bud as your breaths grew raspy. You pushed yourself against the back of the couch and dug your nails into the cushion.

He slid a finger along your cunt and circled your entrance. He rubbed up and down as he kept his tongue swirling over your clit and you swallowed back as gasp as he poked inside. He felt around and added another finger, stretching you as he carefully pushed them in and out of you in time with his mouth.

He lapped you up and you closed your eyes, desperate to resist the coil winding within you. Your legs tensed against the couch and you tilted your pelvis without thinking. He sped up, the noise of his mouth and your slickness filled the silence. You let out a puff and moaned as you slapped the couch. The waves rolled over your flesh and you came into his mouth with a pathetic mewl.

He stilled his fingers as he lazily teased you with his tongue. He pulled his fingers out and sat back, the heat between your legs cooling in his absence as he licked up your juices. He watched you as he sucked his fingers and stood. Your head lolled and you edged forward on the couch. You tried to stand but he caught you and flung you back.

“We’re not done, baby,” he winked at you as he grasped the top of his boxers, “go on, lay down.”

You murmured your refusal and once more tried to get up. You slipped onto the floor and shakily crawled away as he dropped his boxers to his ankle. He grabbed you before you could get around the side and lifted you easily. He turned you and shoved you down onto your back as he lifted a leg over you.

He straddled you and again his hands roved over your body. You smacked at his fingers weakly but he easily ignored you. He kept one hand moving along your curves as he stroked himself with the other. He groaned and shook as he stroked his dick. Your eyes followed his hand and you gulped, he was thick.

He moved his knees back and pushed them up beneath your thighs as he kept a hand planted on your chest. He ripped your panties down your legs and untangled them from your feet. 

He held you down as he ran his tip along your cunt, wetting himself with your coerced arousal. You groaned and grabbed the arm of the couch above you. You tried to pull away from him.

He pushed against your entrance and you looked at him in shock. You couldn’t stop him. His eyes were set between your legs as he inhaled and slowly eased into you. He gasped as he got his tip inside you and his muscles tensed. He bit his lip as he dove further in and you gasped as he filled you inch by inch.

“Shitttt,” he moaned as he reached his limit and you whined at how full you were, “oh, baby.”

His hand slid from your chest and he gripped your hips as he pulled back and thrust. You exclaimed and he did it again, slowly as he watched himself impale you over and over. You curled your fingers against the couch arm and your feet arch as you pressed your thighs around him. He lifted your pelvis high as he angled his dick even deeper.

“You feel so good,” he rasped, “oh, baby, you’re so good. Ahh-hh-hh,” his voice fizzled as your walls clenched him and you closed your eyes as you felt the heat building. 

He moved his hand along your thigh and stretched it over your pelvis, pushing his thumb to your clit as he kept his pace. He purred as you writhed helplessly against him and you panted through the rising ecstasy.

“Please, please, please…” you chanted, unsure if you were begging him to stop or for more.

He moaned as he sped up and you sucked your lip under your teeth as you neared your peak. You quivered as your orgasm crashed into you and you let out a strangled cry. He snarled and planted his hands beside your head as he leaned over you, his hot breath tickled your face as he pounded into you.

Your legs bent around him as his pelvis rubbed against you and the friction drove you to another climax. You held onto the arm of the couch as he fucked your harder and harder. He kissed you and nibbled at your lip as he groaned and hooked an arm under to hold you close.

“You’re gonna make me cum, baby,” he said against your cheek and you turned your head away from, “ah, here I--”

He spasmed and slammed into you. He took several long thrusts and stilled. He grunted and drew heavy breaths as he rested his weight over you. He grabbed your head and turned your head up as he pressed his forehead to yours. You kept your eyes closed as the flames slowly dwindled.

“Was that so bad?” he stroked your cheek and trailed his finger down to poke between your lips, “No, it’s what you wanted, isn’t it, baby?” he wiggled his hips and you hissed, “yeah, you want me.”

[grantzarrr]

Just a thing g.d

summary: Y/n and Grayson don’t like labels but they fuck around with each other and feelings are definitely there, but what happens when they are revealed?

warnings: poorly written smut :)

tags: @fangdolan @gothlydolan @onlyyyarii (idk why it didn’t work :(( )

There she is, in her sexiest piece of lingerie that she could find. What was she doing? Well, she was taking mirror pictures for her boyfriend—fuck buddy—? To everyone besides them, they were seemed to just be dating but Y/n and Grayson just didn’t want to put a label on it yet. They never claimed each other but would always deny that they were fuck buddies, they just wanted to enjoy each other without having to feel like there was a need to call- what they have- something. Just taking it slow.

But while she was setting that up, Grayson was in the middle of filming for his podcast with Ethan and Ryan and she knew far and well what he was doing. She knew exactly what time it was, she knew that if Grayson’s phone ‘blew up’ a few times, everyone would be on his case ready to ask questions. And that's exactly how she wanted and what she wanted.

“So gray, are you still trying to figure your love life out or—like what’s going on there?” Ryan asked, being very keen on his relationship.

“Uh, ry you mean fuck partner?” Ethan teased knowing where to push him.

“Oh fuck off e, we’re not fuck partners nor in a relationship—just enjoying each other for a bit.”

Then he felt it, his phone buzzing notifying him that he received a message, he only glanced though, roughly seeing your name and turning his phone back over. But then, that notification went off again back to back. That right there caused some heads to turn as Grayson saw it was you again and going to see what’s up this time. And oh- was he surprised, there you were sitting on your knees in some lingerie, giving him that little smirk he would love to fuck outta you. He noticed the first little remark of 4 that you sent, that one just stuck out more it seemed like you were talking as if you had known what exactly he was doing.

here’s something to talk about on ur little podcast. p.s ik u wanna tell them were together so go on ;)

And that fucked Grayson up, as much as he wanted to fucking call you his just for you to say that did something— but he couldn’t be quite sure. But as he continued staring he started to shift in his seat a little, only staring at your tits in that, looking so perfect for him. Only him. All he wanted to do was to cover them in hickies. Oh, how bad he wanted to flip you over your vanity and force you to watch him through the mirror as he pounded into you miraculously. Then to place you on your knees and shove his dick down your throat until he saw the tears himself.

“Yo gray? seems as if someone got you a little tensed there? You’re shifting bro..” Ethan chuckled, he knew it was you asking to get dicked down or something. He just wanted to fuck with his brother and see how long it would take here. “Oh no, it’s nobody.” He blurted out quickly but he knew for this to stop he had to respond, to at least say something so he did it swiftly as possible.

Y/n you better fucking stop or I swear you won’t even have free hands to type.

He was pissed, aggravated he was so mad that you were getting away with that, and he couldn’t do shit. He had to sit there and film his podcast for about an hour and he just fucking knew you wouldn’t let this go, not even for a second. And he thought everyone forgot until Ethan brought it back up and he had to say at least something they wanted to hear now.

“Is that uh is that your girlfriend? Hm? Is she asking for you to come over again?” Ethan lightheartedly joked but still, he was so determined to get Grayson to boil and steam over like he did every time just on camera. “Jesus e, would you let it go already.” Grayson gritted being so easily tempted to just end the podcast, it's been at least 58 minutes he can firmly say.

“Oh no go ahead, I would like to hear about this so to be fuck buddy, what is it only on Fridays? like a club? because I would love to be invited” Ryan joined in with Ethan on the little joke but he seriously wanted to know about this just in the goofy little way to make of it. But just as Grayson was about to answer, another one of a more scandalous photo sent. This photo made its way to his number one spot on the “Private Folder” of his. Grayson felt like he was gonna explode but the explosive was straight at his dick and his face went beat red. Not of embarrassment but because holy shit— look at you.

It was you legs spread and the camera hovering just where to leave the imagination running wild but still enough to tell you were wet, even if he has already seen it all. It still fucked him up in ways he couldn’t even began to fonder over. And it was just enough for him to say enough of that teasing.

“Yo, um, I gotta go- but finish the pod ok? Alright, I’ll be back...later.” Grayson rushed off quickly. Everyone in the room just watched in silence as he quickly gathered his phone and a few small little things he carried with him and he left. “Yup, booty call- where the fuck is my 10 dollars, Ryan!” Ethan shouted, happy he won this little ‘bet’. “Wow-.” Was all Ryan could say.

Once Grayson got to her house, he didn’t even bother to knock, he knew that the spear key was always under the 4th rock to the left. And when he got in...oh boy was he furious. Talking as he closed and locked the door back, not knowing she was right in the living room getting herself off. “Y/n what the fuck was that!? I told you that I-.” He was stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her wimpier his name softly, he gulped quickly and turning her way to watch exactly what she was doing. “Oh-, I see you’ve started without me—and that’s the biggest mistake of your fucking life babe.”

And with that, he went and grabbed both her hands and held them above her head, diving in with a very heated kiss. Y/n begun mumbling words against their kiss as she tried rolling her naked hips against his crotch for some friction. “You wanna go and send shit like that to me when I’m filming? Then have the audacity to finger yourself? Instead of simply telling me you wanted to fuck—god why are you so risky.”

He tried to not rage at her, there was no point she wasn’t his girl but nor was she a ‘fuck buddy’ well technically yeah, but to them, they weren’t. But the shit she pulls sometimes fucks him up, having him thinking about it for days and easily getting hard at the smallest memory and he can’t say shit or it’ll be over, and boy he fucking loves it, who wouldn’t? The adrenaline is what Grayson Dolan is all about. He doesn’t know if she feels the same or he just really knows how to fuck her right yet. “ Mhmm I did and I’ll do it multiple times until you boil over because I’m your little risk maker.” She smirked—oh did she just say-

“You wanna fuck with me like that hm? Have me thinking about it for days? Well, I’ll show you a good fucking alright.” He growled at her, having a good reason to give it to her good after that claim. He started attacking her neck. Sucking and licking, little nibbles here and there and he then moved down her body. Still having her hands above them. He stopped right at beginning of her pussy.

“Get up and bend over on the couch, now.” He demanded and was very determined to show her what she could have if they were together. He still didn’t quite know if she meant what she said but shit... he’ll take it. As she was getting up he smacked her ass giving her more of a little pep in her step, and she didn’t dare to say anything. As she was getting in the position, he got behind her and started to scrip, he just wanted to see her bend from behind, getting some of the action in. Once he did he started to stroke his cock, eyes fully on her pussy from behind and her ass. Her being impatient and hearing his short little breaths, she peaked from her shoulder at him and God was that a sight to see.

“Does that feel good, angel?” His deep voice rumbling within her, he knew he wouldn’t get anything out of her. His dick is big enough to keep anything but moans and groans from escaping. So all she did was nod quickly. The couch was snacking, she was shaking he was pounding into her giving out everything he had built up. “Fuck, I love the sounds my fucking pussy makes.” He gritted. She already knew face down on the couch, ass up and he hammered, Y/n wasn’t even sure she would be able to walk after this. And oh wait— did he say?

He just filled her up to the brim with his cock alone, the thickness and fullness of it alone would fulfill her. God was he good, gripping a handful of hair for a leverage of their position, “Graysonn, don’t stop, please.” She begged and since she asked so nicely he didn’t stop and wasn’t going to until her orgasm had her in tears. “Come on, baby. I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.” But she couldn’t, her neighbors recently complained about it since their baby was born. But when he was going at it like this, all she could say was “Neighbor. Babies—FUCK!” He understood completely- on both ends. The neighbors that had their baby and that she was gonna cum, he also felt her pussy clench so he knew for a fact. He was already at the edge of his orgasm.

“Did you claim me?” They both coincidentally said at the same time but who was gonna answer it...

A/N: helloo, hope you liked it!! im gonna drown in holy water now :D

[internaljiujitsu]

5 Realizations That (Finally) Got Me Off The ADHD Treadmill

I used to hate reading books. I did it anyway but couldn’t last more than five or ten minutes before dozing off or having my mind dart away to distant lands. Like the skinny kid with no appetite that had to force feed himself to pack on muscle, I shoved books into my brain because I hated the idea of not being well read more than I hated reading.

As a kid, I often left things undone. — or worn out to the nub. After beginning enthusiastically, I’d soon lose steam and beat myself from pillar to post for quitting. I’d always hang around through the torture just to avoid the sting of giving up again. Once the interest was gone, whatever I was doing became pure misery. This would inevitably lead to mental and physical breakdown, as every cell in my body rejected the reality my mind was accepting.

I got good grades and excelled athletically but always thought I could do better. There seemed to be a gear missing — the one that I just knew could take me to a place that felt right. If I were just better, more disciplined and able to focus more — but I didn’t think I had it in me.

Back then, I didn’t know I was working with a slight disadvantage. While medication has played a crucial role in managing my ADHD, and no doubt would have made a massive difference in my childhood, it’s been just as important to build coping and productivity skills. While ADHD makes it difficult to work for other people, it also challenges your ability to self-regulate. Your perception of time is thrown off, so keeping track of your own schedule can be tough without a system.

Before I ever tried medication, in my forties, I spent my life learning skills to make up for what I saw as inadequacies. I’m thankful that I built a technical foundation before supplementing with chemicals, but eternally grateful for what meds have done for me. Once I was properly diagnosed, I realized that the progress I was able to make on my own was astonishing. Giving myself credit for putting in the work motivated me further. The medication made it all click. It was the missing piece I’d been searching for after years of hard inner and outer training.

Here are my five keys for finally jumping off the ADHD treadmill. Once I inserted these into my belief system, I no longer felt hopeless. The limiting, negative self-talk stopped. It took a long time to finally put everything together, but the results have been life changing.

Meds Are Not Evil

Like a lot of other people, I didn’t believe ADHD was real. My perception was that it was a made up disorder designed by drug companies to pump kids full of personality stifling drugs — an excuse for parents to medicate energetic kids and abdicate responsibility.

Meanwhile, I lived every day in lonely terror, until my symptoms became so overwhelming that I became suicidal. At that point, medicine was my last hope. I read books, meditated, prayed, had countless therapy sessions, including EMDR, and took massive action to change my life — but I hit a healing wall. I needed a boost.

The wiring in my brain makes it so ADHD medication that would make the average person speedy simply makes me feel normal. I am no longer listless and suicidal, disappointed in myself because my aspirations outweigh my self-belief. Before meds, it felt as if I was receiving random radio signals from everywhere. The one that always caught my ear never had anything good to say. Still, my disciplined nature dragged me through my days.

The stigma against medication and the dangerous abuse of these drugs by the general public has left many people unnecessarily living in misery. Prisons and homeless shelters are purgatories for the mislabeled, ignored and discarded members of society unlucky enough to suffer from mental illness. How many of those fortunes could have been altered with the right diagnosis, treatment and protocol?

2. Medication + Discipline = Badass

As a person that uses discipline as therapy, I once thought I could muscle my way through pain. Becoming older in the martial arts world means you have to fight smarter. That’s the trade off — you are wiser and have a much better understanding of your art, but your body does not react the same. Nature seeks balance.

But fuck that. If you take care of yourself, you can whip on the youngins long after your head is covered in gray. Combining experience with conditioning makes you unstoppable. That’s how I see my mental health approach.

If you have no clarity, you won’t make the best choices. You simply can’t see what’s in front of you without a trained eye. The frantic nature of the ADHD mind is like a white belt thrown into what we call the “shark tank.” It’s a relentless onslaught of tough competitors coming in fresh at intervals to continuously beat your ass. No place for white belts. That’s what life feels like off my meds.

The passions that occupy my time have kept my brain buzzing enough to distract me from my buzzing brain. Now that the unwanted chatter is gone, I can feel the good kind of buzz — the warm, fuzzy feeling of loving what I do without feeling like I have to do it.

Would I have preferred avoiding all the pain I felt over the years and just been medicated all along? No. If life didn’t necessitate that I acquire the skills that I have, I wouldn’t have been driven to pursue them. I may have relied too much on the drug. I would not have changed. But I have a feeling the relief of the meds wouldn’t have been enough — It’s just not who I am. I know that now. Eventually, I would have gone searching. At times I almost feel like I have an unfair advantage now. Technical ability and practical experience. Strength and skill. Balance. I’m glad it happened the way it did.

3. You Feel How You Eat

While nutrition has always been important to me for physical fitness, I was more concerned with appearance. As I got older, my focus became increasing my energy levels and feeling better. It wasn’t until after being diagnosed and forming habits around optimizing my abilities that I realized the importance of nutrition for good mental health. Inflammation caused by certain foods is detrimental to brain function and a frequent culprit in ADHD.

Once you’ve gone down a suicidal rabbit whole, giving up gluten is a tiny price to pay for sanity. Not that you know what sanity is — you just know you don’t have it.

Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t give a second thought to the type of food they put in their mouths. Lifestyle is a gigantic factor in mental fitness. Eating foods that promote brain health (fatty fish, blueberries, avocados) and avoiding processed products and sugar will ensure you have the energy and mental clarity to face the day.

4. Your Phone Is A Tool

People love to complain about how their phones have taken over their lives, but we’ve got the most amazing tools ever invented in our pockets. You can read books, listen to podcasts, watch Ted Talks — non stop learning at your fingertips — all the time.

But, with great power comes great responsibility (Stan Lee will never steer you wrong). Just like television can range from “The Sopranos” to “Jersey Shore,” your cell phone can educate or anesthetize you. If you’re not disciplined, your time will be eaten up swiping left to right and “liking” shit you couldn’t care less about.

Take advantage of your calendar and alarm features to schedule everything. Don’t assume you’re gonna remember, because let’s be honest, you’re gonna forget. Use voice memos and notes to keep track of ideas and journal your feelings and thoughts. You know you have to keep yourself occupied, so download the Kindle app and have a book at the ready for down time. Listen to a guided meditation. Take an online course on the go. Learn a new language. It really is endless. Use it wisely, and your phone is the ultimate weapon. No utility belt required.

5. Less Sleep Isn’t Helping

Feeling lazy had me convinced I needed to force myself to do more. That meant getting up earlier so I could get shit done. With a schedule that had me winding down at ten o’clock at night after teaching martial arts classes, it was tough to go right to bed. If I wasn’t careful, I’d lose a half hour of sleep here and there because I wanted to stay up watching television (which miraculously has a way of leading to chips or ice cream). Arnold Schwarzzenegger famously said that you should learn to sleep faster if you can’t get by on six hours of sleep. After years of insisting on shutting down for a minimum of 7–8 hours to promote physical recovery from training, I tried getting by on just 5–6 hours. No dice.

My brain and body just don’t work the same. The sleep I was getting wasn’t all that restful either. I’d frequently wake up during the night feeling restless. It wasn’t until I developed sleep rituals that I began falling asleep quickly and getting a deeper rest. With repetition, my body and mind got used to the same sequence of events every night leading up to bed time. Once I trained my brain, my body knew what to do as soon as my head hit the pillow.

By now, I’ve learned that seven hours is my sweet spot. Eight clean hours can make me feel like superman (mental note: start sleeping eight hours a night).

Recent research suggests ADHD symptoms are often a result of insufficient restful sleep. Sleep deprivation also exacerbates symptoms in kids and adults with ADHD. Your physical and emotional state is undoubtedly better when you get sufficient rest. Staying up late into the night with unproductive bullshit is a mistake, but so is getting by on five hours because you want to prove you’re a tough grinder. You simply won’t be functioning as well. It’s self-sabotage.

There is no magic pill to fix you. If you think of meds that way, you’ll be putting scotch tape on a gunshot wound. You’ve gotta stop the bleeding. Dig the bullet out. Repair the internal damage — then stitch it up. You’ve gotta let it heal and start actively rehabilitating if you want to get stronger. It’s not going to happen by accident or by divine intervention — even though it may feel like that in the end.

Although I’ve developed a good arsenal of skills to maximize my mental wellbeing, I still want to continue growing. My next step will be scanning my brain to understand what areas are being over or under stimulated and adjusting my lifestyle accordingly. As Dr. Daniel Amen, one of the nation’s foremost psychiatrists and a leading expert on brain health says, “Did you know that psychiatrists are the only medical specialists that virtually never look at the organ they treat? Think about it. Cardiologists look, neurologists look, orthopedic doctors look, virtually every other medical specialist looks — psychiatrists guess.”

It seems so obvious now that I want to run out and get my brain scanned as I write this. I’m excited to discover what changes I can make to improve my performance and sense of well being. Brain imaging will provide a road map.

No matter the cards you’ve been dealt, planning and hard work can help you become who you want to be. No circumstance is a limitation to an open mind. There are always ways to improve if you’re willing to search long enough. Luckily for me, I tend to get a little obsessed.

[baektempo]

Tiny Victories [2/6]

Pairing: Byun Baekhyun x Reader 

Summary: The Adventures of Baekhyun, his failing Divination classes, and his broomstick named Peanut.  

Warnings: Language 

Author’s Note: Please tell me what you think of it so far, I would love to talk to you about it :)

Saturday morning. After two hours of Quidditch practice, Baekhyun is soaked in sweat. He has a fuzzy head and nausea is clenching his insides. Chanyeol did not joke about preparing for their next match with Ravenclaw.

He groans as he flops onto his bed, towel drying his hair. He remembers the roasted chicken. Your lips—your pretty, pretty lips. The kitchens. And—fuck, the donuts. The jam donuts he was supposed to be eating with you at midnight.

He’s ready to throw himself into the Black Lake and get eaten by the Giant Squid or something.

He sits there for a few minutes. Would you still talk to him after he ditched you to sleep? And his class—Professor Sinistra is gonna hang his ass from the Astronomy tower.

A while later, Jongdae comes into their room and gives Baekhyun a funny look. “Did you not see those?”

He points at a paper bag resting on his nightstand, with a note attached to it. Baekhyun sets the towel down and picks up the paper bag.

I figured you’d stood me up when you didn’t come to eat these sugary beautiful donuts. Don’t worry, I saved you two. And don’t forget, you’re gonna buy me all the Cherry Syrup I want from Madam Puddifoot’s. ☺

Your writing is neat and scribbly. He’s unsure of the huge smiley face that you’ve drawn, it seems like a warning. Next time you ditch me, I’ll hex you—something like that.

But still, there’s a grin on his face he re-reads it again. He looks up to see Jongdae with that funny look still on his face. “What?”

“She asked you to meet at the Hogsmeade Station,” Jongdae looks at his wristwatch, “at 10 am.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun says and chews his cheek. “It’s 9:45 am.”

Jongdae shrugs, plopping onto his bed. His cat, Blossom, climbs onto the bed, purring at Jongdae and gives Baekhyun a dirty look. That cat hates him.

He wastes no time as he huffs down the stairs, running through the corridors. He even considers flying to the station with his broomstick. But none of that can do.

He sees you talking to some third years by the time he makes it to the station. Although he’s bundled up in his warmest clothes, he feels almost as a cold sweat breaks out. He just doesn’t want to disappoint you—again.

“Glad to know you could make it on time, Baekhyun,” you tease, a smile gracing your lips.

Baekhyun is caught off guard as he puffs out laughs into the air, still trying to catch his breath. “I’m, I’m so sorry—I fell asleep after practice. I also missed class,”

You didn’t ask for an explanation nor do you look mad, but your lips still quirk up with appreciation as you nod. “Jongdae was complaining about how you and Chanyeol wouldn’t wake up. Let’s get going then, shall we?”

The carriage ride to High Street isn’t anything notable, just a few pubescent boys trying to impress you as Baekhyun tried his best to keep a scowl off of his face. He should be getting all the attention.

However, ten minutes later, his hands are freezing as he’s gathering all the snow he can possibly collect to form the largest snowball he can make.

He aims directly for your face and shoots, and as the best Chaser in the team—he scores.

The snowball catches you off guard, as you yelp and fall on your butt. Baekhyun is chortling, hand on his knee, one hand on his stomach because there’s a cramp from laughing too hard.

You laugh too.

“That was so unfair!” you say, aiming a poorly built snowball at him. It lands three feet away from him.

“Alright,” he chuckles, “Now that we’ve decided on who’s the best snowballer, lets go drink something warm.”

“Hey, I could’ve cast a charm to win but I didn’t,” You sass. “But now I’m freezing, and I forgot to bring my gloves.”

There’s a million spells Baekhyun knows that can warm you up, but at this moment he doesn't need the feel to pick out his wand and cast a charm.  Instead, he takes out his favorite gloves. The color is fading and there are strings hanging loose, but they’re still his favorite. He hands you his gloves.

“But won’t you be cold?” Steam blows as you speak ruefully. Baekhyun starts to see flecks of snow gently falling atop your head.

“I don’t mind the cold.” Liar. He despised the cold.

Maybe you know that he’s lying out of his mouth. But you still put on his gloves, and they’re a little big for you but there’s a huge grin on your face and it makes Baekhyun feels a bit warm on the inside.

By the time the both of you make it to Madam Puddifoot’s, he knows more about you: the socks that scream once Jongdae has worn them too much was a gift you gave to him last year. You would like to become a Curator, but you don't tell anyone about it because they might think that you’re a bit boring. You also hate going to the Forbidden Forest because spiders scare you a lot.

He also traded some secrets: he wants to compete in the Quidditch World Cup one day. He once cast a memory charm to make sure Filch didn’t remember him sneaking out with his friends to drink Firewhisky. He also is terrified of owls.

Madam Puddifoot’s is a dainty little tea shop. He feels out of place as he sits somewhat cramped on the chair.

“I know, the place is super… tacky. But I promise the drinks are really good,” you say hopefully.

“It’s okay, I’ve just never been here before.” He takes a peek at the other customers in the tea shop. They were all cuddled up against each other and… are they—are they making out?

Baekhyun coughs and clears his throat, hoping his ears aren’t red with embarrassment as he focuses his attention on you again. You are fidgeting with the lacy napkins on the tabletop, acting like you didn’t see him witness the snogging couples.

“I guess this place is more popular with couples.” He comments.

“I guess so.” You admit, a shy smile on your face.

“Miss ___, you sneaky girl. I did not know that you had a boyfriend!” Madam Puddifoot greets the both of you.

“He—he’s not my boyfriend!” Your eyes widen, cheeks flooding with warmth. Baekhyun is having way too much fun to see you flail over the accusation.

“Yet,” the older witch winks, taking both of your orders. Baekhyun picks a black coffee and you go with a warm tea.

“God, I’m so sorry. I think we’re better off at The Three Broomsticks.” you snort. He gazes for a moment at the soft expression in your eyes, and nods.

“If you want to.”

“We could meet up tomorrow… if you’re free?” you suggest.

Baekhyun pauses. He picks up the freshly brewed coffee, thinking of how to reject you in the nicest way. “I’m, uh, not gonna be free tomorrow.”

“Oh. Well. There’s always a next time,” There’s no anger or disappointment in your voice. Which is why he has been looking forward to spending more time with you. “There’s an essay I have to complete by Monday, so I’ll just stay back at Hogwarts.”

Baekhyun feels bad. “I, uh, I feel like I’m bringing the team down. So I want to practice more.” He admits.

There's a flash of emotions on your face, but a warm smile wins. He nearly faints as your hand covers his on the table. “I can’t imagine how bad you must be feeling over losing, but I promise you that I always admired your skills.”

His lips part in surprise. “You’ve seen me play?”

“Well, I am in the same house, you… goober. Gotta be supportive and all that.” You say lightly, and draw your hand away from his. He nearly protests at the loss of contact.

“Will you come to cheer me on for the next match this week?” he asks coolly and pauses, “Only if you’re free.”

Your eyes are glinting with a warmth and he feels cozy by it. “I would love to.”

—

Baekhyun breathes out a massive sigh and blinks his eyes. He can hear the snowstorm outside, and shivers in the dark of his dorm room.

He yanks off his blankets as Jongdae’s cat meows at him. He gives the cat a good glare. What business is the dumb cat upto this late, anyway?

He sucks in a breath, swings his feet onto the hardwood floor and walks downstairs. He blinks at the fireplace, and finds his way onto his favorite armchair when he spots you—laying on the carpet, scribbling away furiously with your quill.

He whispers out your name, and you nearly leap into the fireplace. “Merlin’s beard!” you gasp, “You scared me,”

He snickers and slides down onto the warm, thick rug—right next to you. “Why are you up so late?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” your voice is only a hush in the dim lit common room. The wind scratches against the windows, and Baekhyun sees the snow swirling furiously in the air.

“I couldn’t sleep.” He admits.

You set down the quill, and curl up next to him. An embrace of seeping warmth from your body makes him sigh.

“You’re nervous,” you state. Your eyes are closed. Baekhyun hums, he doesn’t really want to agree with that. Especially to you. He doesn't want to seem… weak.

“Hey, its okay, you know,” your voice is a soothing balm. “I used to think that purebloods were better than me. But honestly, it never mattered. Because at the end of the day, I became a prefect only ‘cause I worked my ass off for it.”

You chuckle. Baekhyun’s throat feels tight.

“What I’m trying to say is that… you work really, really hard. And although you don't think so, I think that you’re the best Chaser in all of Hogwarts. I know that you’ll do your best tomorrow, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun is quiet for a moment—he is wondering if you’re heaven-sent. He then shifts his body towards you. His lips lift into a loopy smile.

“I really hope we win. I heard that there’s gonna be a scout for the National Quidditch Team tomorrow,” he sighs.

“They better pick you, I’ll make sure they do,” you say. “If not, I’ll protest outside the Ministry or something.”

Baekhyun laughs—it echoes in the open space of the common room. He yawns again, and closes his eyes.

“I know we just became friends but, thank you. For always believing in me.”

—

Baekhyun’s face is bright red when he enters the Gryffindor common room with his teammates. A cacophony of voices and laughter fill the overcrowded room. Students wearing blue, yellow and green pop out from the dozens of reds.

He feels a bit overwhelmed with everyone’s eyes on him. He tries to hide away in a corner, but Jongdae’s shrill voice thunder across the room.

“Coooongradulaaations!”

“Good lord,” Baekhyun mumbles, and his eyes catches a huge three tiered chocolate cake. It is smothered in chocolate frosting, and there’s a huge CONGRATULATIONS! written on with red frosting. He licks his lips in anticipation.

The chocolate cake is placed on a small table and Baekhyun wonders how it’s holding up as he shuffles closer to Chanyeol. His teammates blows the candles—and he’s worried for a second that Professor Dumbledore is gonna get annoyed for such a huge ruckus being caused at the common room.

Baekhyun can't help but snicker as he sees Sehun, a close friend from Slytherin getting tangled in a streamer.

Jongin shoves a plate with a massive slice of chocolate cake towards Baekhyun. He digs into it with a fork, and takes a bite. He swallows, and almost cries from how amazing it tastes.

“Isn’t it good? Me, Jongdae, Minseok and ____ went to the Kitchens last night to help the elves bake the cake,” Jongin says. He has been a friend of Baekhyun ever since they were in the same train compartment on his first year at Hogwarts.

Baekhyun speaks with his mouth full. “It’s really good.” Jongin cringes at him.

He finds Jongdae tucked away in a corner, laughing as he speaks with Minseok. He hears Minseok complaining about an owl biting his finger. He shudders at the thought.

“Hey, Baekhyun! I almost fell out of the tower from screaming out your name so loud,” Minseok jokes and slaps his back. “You were truly the star of the match.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

There’s a proud smile on Jongdae’s face.  Minseok tells them he’s going to the Ravenclaw common room to grieve over their loss.

“When did you have the time to bake a cake?” Baekhyun blurts as soon as Minseok leaves. “You were dead asleep last night!”

“You were asleep next to ____ when I woke up to my alarm,” Jongdae says impishly as he grins back at Baekhyun and wiggles his eyebrows.

Baekhyun clears his throat.

“This is so good,” he says loudly to Jongdae over the scuffle, shoving another forkful of chocolate cake into his mouth. Jongdae does not tease him about it afterwards.

The cake is nearly gone by the time everyone gravitates to other places. Baekhyun waves to Sehun and Kyungsoo as they leave. Chanyeol is arm-wrestling with Yixing. Their voices hit the ceiling. Junmyeon couldn’t make it to the party, considering that he was the Head Boy—and had to soothe his Housemates over their loss.

That was okay, he can meet up with the boys next Saturday.

Baekhyun watches you play rock, paper, scissors with a 4th year, and grins as you snatch the plate of cake away after winning. You’re smiling as you catch his eyes, heading to sit on the same couch as him.

“You did so great,” you say lightly.

“Thanks,” Baekhyun replies, smiling a little. “You didn’t have to do this.”

He gestures at the floating balloons, pieces of paper scattered from the party poppers and what is left of the cake.

“Okay? But we did it anyway,” you shrug.

He scowls, and nudges you with his elbow. There’s a gleeful laugh, and you set the empty plate on a table top and collapse next to him.

Baekhyun shifts closer to you as you find the perfect spot to rest—using his chest to rest your head on.

His insides feel funny—and it's not from the cake.

“So, did you sneak into the kitchens without me?” Baekhyun says, pretending to be hurt.

“What makes you think I’d make you decorate a cake that’s meant for you?” you quip lazily.

“Fine. I liked it. And I like you a lot better now,” Baekhyun mumbles.

“Well, I like you enough to make a cake.” you clarify. “I’m so proud of you, Baek.”

“I haven’t felt this happy for the longest time. Maybe I was in a slump,” Baekhyun breathes in your familiar, warm scent.

“I’m glad you feel better now,” you squeeze his hand. Baekhyun feels his heart almost lurch out of his chest.

Baekhyun pulls you in closer with a fond smile.

“Wonder what’s for dinner tonight.”

[yukiwrites]

Baby Cyn’s Time Was Now

Thank you so much for the support and the patience as always, @breeachuu​! This was so heart-warming to write alskdjlmasd I hope you like it as much as I did!

Summary: Nidra was (finally or already?) pregnant with Cynthia, but this time around, she wouldn’t let herself be overcome with anxiety -- nor would she want to. She wanted to spend all the time she could with her family, and share these wonderful, nurturing moments of her pregnancy with them.

Commission info HERE and HERE!

Summer was nearing its end. According to Henry's, well, calculations, Nidra should have conceived sometime between mid-July and early August.

The dark mage wriggled his eyebrows to his wife one morning, silently hovering over her just to watch how increasingly red her mien became.

Nidra pressed her lips into a thin line, turning away from her husband as she boiled water for her morning tea. Henry circled around her, barely containing his large grin, but once again Nidra looked down, her face burning as hot as the boiling water.

That silent dance went on until Nidra finished making her tea and hurriedly sat by the table to drink it. Henry almost threw himself on the chair beside her, giving her almost no personal space, his breathing so close to her cheek he could feel the steam coming out of her cup.

"E-enough, Henry!" Nidra finally gave in, loudly placing the cup on its saucer, covering her face with both hands.

The dark mage snorted loudly, almost forgetting they weren't alone in the house, immediately leaning back to her. "Wellll?! You're preggerz, right?! You gotta be! We didn't rest at all this summer-"

"By Naga, hush!" She covered her own and Henry's mouth with her hands, her face as red as a cooked octopus. Henry gurgled a laugh under his wife's hand, tickling her fingers. "I-I'm not sure yet, alright? It's still too soon to know and- and there are no foreign pregnant dragon shape-shifters to shock me into realizing my pregnancy on its early weeks."

Nidra could feel Henry's smirk growing under her hand. "But you gotta be! There was boinking happenin' everywhere! Dang, even here in the kitchen-mmmph" His voice sounded muffled at first until the manakete used more strength into shutting her talkative husband up. "And there was that tea you made, too!" He pulled away from her to continue with his lewd speech, enjoying how flustered that made her.

"By the heavens, I know!" She hissed, leaning closer to him so as not to wake up any sleeping dragonlings, infant or what not. "But it's still too early to tell!" She leaned her head on his shoulder, suddenly feeling very drained despite having just woken up. "IF, and I am saying IF I c-con, cough, if I conceived during the window of time you so very readily calculated, I should be around my 6th to 8th week or so."

Henry giddily wrapped his arms around his wife, enjoying how she tilted her chair towards him to dive into his hug. "If you were human, you'd have the bloody days-- wait, lack of them, nyaha! As an indication, right? As it is now, we..." he carefully brushed his hand up her back, feeling her shivering with his touch, "... gotta wait 'till it's around your 'heat' months to make sure, yeah?"

Nidra blushed again, wriggling inside Henry's unexpectedly strong arms so as to leave that den of lewdness that was brewing inside that kitchen. "T-that is so, indeed." She tried to sound proper despite still struggling in Henry's arms under his easy-going laugh.

After needlessly struggling for a few more seconds, Nidra gave up and melted into her husband's arms, giving into her own eagerness to find out if baby Cyn was on her way or not.

"I have been paying close attention to any bloating and sickness, but so far, I'm healthy as a horse. As far horse's health go, anyway." She commented, hearing her own voice echo into Henry's heartbeat. "I barely, if ever, felt the morning sickness humans so often complain about during Meli's term, so that will not help either..."

Henry stayed oddly silent, his hands simply going up and down Nidra's back. She could almost hear the gears of his brain circling around, trying to find a way to know for certain that she was pregnant without having to do it the old-fashioned way and wait. The both of them shared the same serious, frowning expression when a noise from a nearby room made something click inside Henry's mind.

"Oh!" He mused at the same time Nidra heard Cynthia jumping out of bed. Before she could ask what he had thought of, the younger manakete's loud stomping passed through the kitchen towards the door.

"Morning, Mom! Dad!" She ran outside. "I gotta brush my partner! Can't believe I woke up this late after dawn! She must be starvinggg! Sorry, sorry!" She cried out, explaining while she ran towards the small stable she and Henry had built for her pegasus the previous year.

From the kitchen window one could see the backyard completely -- from the stable to the tall hill Nidra usually liked to take a nap atop of. Watching her daughter run around with her pegasus brought a smile to Nidra's face, but suddenly her eyes trailed to the tree on the hill, her lips forming an exclamation of surprise.

"Oh!" She perked up from Henry's chest, glancing from him to the hill. He snapped his fingers, smiling widely.

"I thought so, too!" He laughed. "You're really preggerz!" He opened his arms so as to engulf Nidra in a deeper hug, dissolving into a warm laughter.

From outside, one could see Cynthia freeing her pegasus so it could take flight at the same time Cynthia herself transformed into her dragon form. "Need to stretch my wings too! Let's race, partner!" Her voice sounded into their minds rather than leaving through her throat, her eagerness seeping into every awake being at the premises.

Still laughing and feeling her eyes burn with tears, Nidra squeezed her husband with everything she had, almost breaking a bone or two.

She didn't feel that urge! She hadn’t been feeling that urge for at least a month now! that was the sign they've been looking for -- Nidra's body's own way to preserve the half-human baby inside it was to simply not wish for transformation, much like what had happened the first time around.

Neither Nidra nor Henry had noticed that she was taking her naps in human form, unconsciously leaving her dragonstone inside the velvet box by their room for weeks.

His heart almost exploding with emotion, Henry jumped out of his seat, taking Nidra in his arms towards the window. "YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY, CYNTHIA! RIGHT HERE!" He yelled atop of his lungs, lifting Nidra princess-style to their flying daughter in the sky.

It took Cynthia a moment to understand. "I'm what? On my way? Eh-" she blinked slowly, then glanced from her Father, Mother and her partner flying beside her. "MY LIL' SIS! She dove downwards, almost crashing into the ceiling before transforming back and throwing herself through the window. Henry let go of Nidra so he could catch their cannonball daughter and roll around the floor, knocking down the table, all the chairs around it and the now cold tea all over the floor.

Instead of yelling at them for the mess, Nidra screamed a laugh, holding her stomach with both hands as she lied down beside the husband-daughter ball on the floor. Of course, the mess was not without repercussion as it woke up both Meli and Meliodas, making the older brother run to pick his younger sibling up and go to where the noise was coming from only to find his family sharing a laugh attack all wrapped around the tablecloth.

Influenced by the laughter, baby Meli quickly shifted from crying to laughing, cooing with both hands towards his father-mother-sister ball on the floor.

Also infected by the good humor, Meliodas giggled as he also lied beside Nidra, placing Meli over his chest, dissolving into a bigger ball of laughter.

After they all managed to calm down (Cynthia's pegasus watched everything from the window with the most amused expression a horse could make), Nidra covered her children with kisses while Henry proudly announced that she was expecting baby Cyn.

"That's wonderful news, Mother! But-" Meliodas tenderly hugged his mother, though the worry from the memory of the first months of her previous pregnancy still gnawed him intimately.

Nidra touched her eldest's lips, preventing from speaking any further. "I will be alright, my dear. Thank you for worrying, as always. I plan on spending as much time with my family as I am allowed to."

"Which is ALL THE TIME EVER!" Cynthia bounced, her loose pigtails coming off after all that excitement. Nidra smiled fondly, turning to her daughter so as to caress her cheeks.

The young manakete squeezed her eyes to enjoy her mother's petting, getting on the tip of her toes as Nidra's hands moved from her face to her head.

"Why, your hair is rather long, Cynthia. Though fluffier than mine, it's rather resembling my own once I leave it down." She commented, running her hands through her daughter's green locks.

"Heehee," Cynthia smiled proudly, happy to have been compared with her mother. "I'm thinking of growing it out like you and Meli, Mother! But since it gets in the way when I fly, I gotta tie it up in pigtails."

"Which only enhaces your adorableness, my dear." Nidra pinched her cheeks, then caught her nose. "I am honored you will grow it out to match me, but only do what you must, hm? I wouldn't want it to get in your way during your flights and result in an accident."

Cynthia saluted, puffing her chest up. "Aye aye, Mother!" She laughed, stealing a few giggles from her brother and mother, as well. "I'm so happy that my lil' sis is on the way! I'm gonna teach her everything I know! And more! Hey, Meli! Teach me how you braid your hair like that, too! I wanna teach her that myself!"

Meliodas adjusted baby Meli on his arms, though managing to make a pensive expression. "Oh? You wish to steal MY bonding moment with my little sister for yourself?"

"But you're gonna bond with THIS little sister first, right? Riiight?" She got on her toes and blinked adorably, making large, irresistible puppy eyes.

Blushing with his sister's adorableness, Meliodas lifted his chin, "I-I suppose I can spare a moment or two for this little sister, yes."

"Yahoo! Thanks, Meli! Let's start right away- ouch, ouch, my ear, Mother!" She was about to pull Meliodas out of the kitchen right in time for Nidra to pull her daughter's pointy ear.

"Clean this mess first! Try not to cannonball from the sky into the house again as well, yes?" The mother snorted, doing the 'I'm watching you' sign to both Cynthia and Henry before reaching out to pick up baby Meli from his brother's arms.

Henry and Cynthia exchanged playful glances, their wide smirks mirroring each other. "I'll tryyy," the younger manakete said after her father winked at her, promptly getting ready to start cleaning up.

Nidra narrowed her eyes at the interchange, but never lost her smile. She deeply wished her days would continue on being as peaceful, though with less mess, if possible.

Now fully prepared for the 11 months term ahead of her (well, technically, as her husband would say, 9 months since she found out about the pregnancy after the eighth or so week), Nidra felt infinitely more at peace with her pregnancy than during the time she was with Meli.

Spending time with her baby boy during the particularly slow afternoons helped immensely as well, of course.

Still, she would catch herself humming the lullaby she sang for Meliodas even during her alone times, absent-mindedly caressing her still flat stomach. Whenever she closed her eyes she would remember Henry's eye-opening words from last time and fell her heart filling with warmth and love.

She didn't feel anxious, nor nervous.

She was only a mother who patiently nurtured her baby inside of her until the day of their meeting would arrive. She still enjoyed warm naps under the tree atop the hill, all huddled around her husband and children (young Meli properly laid inside a comfortable basket beside them as well); she still loved hearing all about Cynthia's day as a city guard (she decided to join in alongside Owain some time after Meli's birth) as well as answering any questions Meliodas had about their draconic ancestry.

She would never trade the nights she shared under the same blankets as Henry, his tight and needy hug all she ever needed to assure herself that she was, and always will be, loved.

Peacefully did she watch the days go by, between visits from her friend Robin and her family and lazy afternoons filled with knitting for her babies.

In one of her latest visits, Robin had gifted Nidra a rocking chair so she could sit by the veranda to people watch and enjoy the breeze while still rocking slightly.

It was the best present Nidra could have had ever asked for -- she loved the way the gentle rocking would lull her to sleep while she caressed her growing bump and hummed her favored lullaby.

After waking up from one such naps, the sun still strong up in the sky, Nidra rubbed drowsiness out of her eyes as she heard mumbling coming from hers and Henry's room.

"Henry?" She asked, her voice still hoarse from sleep, as she walked towards the noise.

Inside, she found her husband perched on his chair, nose deep into his research papers as he mumbled this or that detail aloud so as to counter-check himself if he had said something wrong.

For years now, he had been studying ways of extending one's life so he could maximize the time he would spend with his immortal wife -- and the center of that research fell into Nidra's dragonstone, which he absent-mindedly fiddled with.

Smiling softly, Nidra's soundless steps tiptoed into the room, carefully placing one hand over his shoulder so as not to startle him out of his skin.

Used to his wife's silent movements, Henry simply drooped his head backwards, resting it on her overgrown belly. "You sure you don't mind if I chip away a piece of two of it? It's so carefully polished..."

Never losing her smile, Nidra gestured for Henry to give her the stone, which he complied. She closed her eyes and focused her energy on it, the flow of power inside the room swirling around her, much like the times she would transform.

Henry raised one eyebrow, knowing that she wouldn't transform while so far into the pregnancy, and much less inside their house, so he simply turned to her and watched.

"See here?" Her voice sounded distorted, as though she had transformed, her eyes shining in its draconic color. She tilted the stone to the side, showing how it shone from within -- a single pearl-like glow at the very center of the stone flickered with waves of draconic energy. It ramified itself through the entire stone, as though it were a heart beating energy into its veins, syphoning the power from the core to the manakete holding it.

"Oh, wow, I never knew it did that! I can't see this core thingy at all when I'm studying it." He mused, digging his nose into the stone so as to count how many 'veins' were there.

Nidra stopped tapping into the stone's power, her eyes turning back into their normal color, without the draconic glow. "This is the core of the dragonstone -- you can chip away as much of the stone as you want, as long as you don't harm the core. It's actually from it that we draw the power necessary to transform and retain our conscious mind."

"Muh? So your stone could've actually been way smaller? Like, pearl-sized?" He put his index and thumb a centimeter away from each other.

"Indeed. Though it would be that much easier to lose it, hence the reason why we either keep them as large stones or fashion them into jewelry, always keeping the core's size in mind, of course."

"Huuuuh," Henry hummed, his thin eyes narrowed towards the stone, his frown deep. "Hey, do you think I can, maybe, pierce it with a real tiny drill all the way to the core?"

Nidra leaned on the chair's backrest as her husband took the stone to look at it through the sunlight. "As long as the core isn't harmed, I do not see why not. Does such a drill exist, however? It would require much precision..."

Henry shrugged. "I'm sure I can ask Miriel to help with making one; she makes her own tools, didya know? Her laboratory's amazing!"

"Mhm, I know... of it. She hasn't given up in studying me so I was invited over many, many times." Nidra cleared her throat, making way to sit on her husband's lap. "What do you have in mind, Henry? To go as far as drilling the dragonstone open?"

His eyes shone with wisdom. "Y'see, here I wrote how drinking water after soaking your dragonstone in it for three days made me feel not, like, rejuvenated, but reinvigorated? I felt like I could stay up for a week on end!" He puffed his chest, adjusting Nidra on his lap so he could go through the mountain of papers by his desk.

Nidra coughed awkwardly, remembering his, ah, vigor during that time. "I, uh, remember it well."

"Riiight?" He wriggled his eyebrows wickedly, stealing a kiss on her lips before continuing. "So when you showed me the dragonstone doing all that twinkly stuff, the power went FROM the core TO the edges through some sorts of veins, and it actually looked like liquid? Power in liquid form that evaporates into energy to help you transform? If that makes any sense," he scratched his head. "Sooooo, If I manage to drill a way towards the core -- I'm assuming that those ramifications aren't actually physical so I don't think I can drill THEM, but if they are, I would wanna try, of course -- and stop right at the, uh, cove? Where the core is stored? I'm sure the stone itself is like a carcass to hold the core in place so it might be inside a lil' round opening thiiiiis thin," he almost touched his index on his thumb, "that if I drill up till this cove and have you do this twinkly thing again, the core might expell the power directly into the water! THEN, I drink it!"

Blinking, Nidra simply placed both hands behind her husband's neck, processing everything he had said. "You thought this all up just now? On the go? I confess I... have no words to express my surprise."

"Welllll," he chuckled, placing his forehead on hers, "I actually thought of grinding the stone into powder and then mixing it into my tea to drink it once, so that's just a derivation of that theory.

"Don't drink stones! Grinded or not!" She reprimanded, though giggling.

"I'd swallow it whole if it would help me stay with you, Ni-Ni. I'm not stopping until I find a way to stay with you forever -- your forever, not mine." He said in a serious voice, digging his face into her neck. "I won't let you be alone anymore. It'll also be lonely to die first on my own." He pouted slightly, kissing her shimmering skin.

Nidra's eyes welled up with emotion, her hug faltering as her body trembled. "Oh, Henry. I love you so, so very much. T-thank you for... loving me back as intently." She whispered, more securely wrapping her arms around his neck. He reciprocated the hug, though mindful of her large stomach between them.

"I told you my feelings were heavy," he chuckled, trailing his kisses from her neck to her shoulder, enjoying how she trembled with such a slight touch.

"And I am so very glad they are," she closed her eyes to enjoy his caresses further, her love overflowing through her eyes.

The new year's festivities came and went, the half-dragon family celebrating it in their own way, amongst their close-knitted familial bonds.

With the passing of months, Lucina's birthday approached and, with it, so did Morgan's followed by Cynthia's, the most awaited one of all. As the festivities for the young crown princess came and went, Nidra's excitement to finally meet her baby girl reached its peak.

From morning to night she would caress her stomach and talk with her baby, most of the time alongside Henry who would glue his ear to her navel and try to discern the variety of sounds coming from inside.

"It's your Dad here, baby Cyn!" He would start every single time, "don't forget my voice after you come out of there, you hear? I wanna see your big, cute eyes look at me the first time I call your name!"

Nidra would laugh and pet her husband's head. "Babies cannot focus during the first months of life, Henry! She won't look AT you, but TOWARDS you."

"Mana-babies can't see from the crib, though? I remember reading about it 'cause they need to be able to discern stuff from early age and stuff," he would reply, receiving a flick on the forehead.

"They're half human as well -- indeed, the time they take to be able to focus is less than a full human does, but still more than a full manakete."

Henry smiled widely. "I don't care! I want you," he poked Nidra's stomach, feeling the baby move under his finger, "to answer me the moment you open your eyes, you hear? Dad's orders!" He giggled, dissolving into laughter as Nidra once again flicked his forehead.

As the big day approached, once again Nidra felt the urge to give birth inside the stream behind their house, but this time she only needed to hauled back home twice before being worn out -- perhaps, she thought foggily as she felt the pains of birth, I still need to have two more children to be able to fully stay inside and birth them properly.

Much like Meli, baby Cyn was larger than a normal human baby, but still smaller than what Nidra's body was built to deliver, so the birthing once again went on without any problems.

This time, however, Henry held onto Cyn after giving her her first bath and poked at her chubby cheeks, his eyes watery. It felt somehow different, to be the father of a little girl -- she looked so much smaller than their still infant son, and her tiny nails were so, so small and cute and-

"Hey there, Cyn! It's your Dad," he choked a sob as he poked her nose while she still wailed from being taken out of the womb.

But the moment she heard his voice, she stopped crying and gripped at is index with everything her little hand could. She still couldn't open her eyes, but the familiar voice made her somehow feel like she was still safe -- not in the womb, but in these very warm and welcoming arms.

"N-Ni-Niiii!" Henry sobbed, sitting beside his huffing wife. "She heard me, Ni-Ni! She-" he didn't feel the tears streaming down his face, dripping on Cyn's still wet cheeks.

Emotional, Nidra brought both hands to cover her face. "She's such a good, Daddy's girl! Oh, Henry!"

"Our baby -- our little girl...!" He stuttered, smiling widely. And now, with how fast his research progressed, he would make sure to watch over her until HER old age. For sure!

[apiratecalledav]

So, I finally saw How to Train Your Dragon: the Hidden World and I gotta let off some steam about it (and some repressed steam about part 2). Spoilers, obviously:

I do want to start off with saying How to Train Your Dragon is one of my favorite movies of all time, a near 10/10. I saw it four times in theaters.That includes skipping class one day so that I could watch it in 3D at a discount price in an empty theater at 1 o’clock in the afternoon on a Tuesday. I also think Chris Sanders and Dean DeBlois make an incredible team-- I saw Lilo and Stich a truly embarrassing number of times in theaters and they both had some input with Mulan, another fav. And though I’m about to complain about them, I do like parts 2 and 3.

I don’t know why Chris Sanders didn’t return to co-write and co-direct in the How to Train Your Dragon sequels, but I am deeply saddened he didn’t. Comparing part 1 to parts 2 and 3, I get the impression that Sanders comes up with the plots and DeBlois comes up with the emotional stuff. So without Sanders, I feel like the plots have really suffered.

I’d actually hate part 2 if DeBlois wasn’t so good at making me feel things. I found a good deal of the dialogue to be corny and I strongly dislike just about every major plot point: I could have tolerated Valka still being alive if her reason for staying away wasn’t so messy. The Bewilderbeast/Alpha stuff felt like too much of a retcon from the Red Death and gave the story a “we’re making this up as we go along” feel. Stoick dying and Hiccup having to be chief was so cliché and irritating. But even so, while part of me was screaming “this is crap,” I was also ugly crying for days over Valka and Hiccup bonding, Valka and Stoick singing together, Hiccup being able to talk Toothless out from the hive mind, Hiccup’s and Gobber’s speeches at Stoick’s funeral, etc.  So despite it all, I still like the movie and  I appreciate how DeBlois could basically take the story everywhere I didn’t want it to go and still wreak havoc on my emotions. I give it a solid 7/10.

My favorite parts of the sequel were Hiccup and Astrid changing Eret’s mind about dragons. I feel like that should have been Hiccup’s path—traveling the world, helping to stop dragon/human conflicts.  His big dreams wouldn’t just be about protecting humans and dragons from each other, but also uniting people; sharing knowledge and technology, because more people could travel quickly by riding dragons. I would have made Drago into someone who abused Hiccup’s advice and built a dragon army, causing Hiccup to rally the other tribes he’s helped to take Drago down… Hiccup is a leader and a good one, but I feel like a diplomat/ambassador would suit him and his interests a lot better than being chief. It’s also a lot less been-there-done-that. I actually think Astrid made a more natural choice for Stoick’s successor. Anyway...

So part 3. My expectations were a lot lower, both from the quality of writing and just generally not being thrilled with where the story has gone.  I liked it better than part 2, not quite an 8 but maybe higher than 7.5. The dialogue wasn’t nearly as cringe inducing. DeBlois still expertly tugs at the heartstrings and made my cry several times. And yet—

Ugh.

Let me just say, “Toothless gets a girlfriend” was one of my worst fears for this series but with the comments in part 2 about “the last of his kind” and “maybe we’ll finally find another Night Fury,” I knew it was coming. And while it wasn’t as awful as I feared, it was still annoying. Their excessive mating dances stopped being funny and got really eye rolly. And sure, the sparkles were pretty, but I didn’t like her design very much otherwise.  SUE ME. I’m sorry, but it was fan-ficy. That said, “Save him” was so fucking good. Also her rescuing Hiccup and the parallels to Toothless saving Astrid in part 1 (All the parallels to the first movie were quite beautiful).  And I freely admit that the nightlights were adorable.

Hiccup and Astrid being awkward about getting married was disappointing too. Not only because I love their relationship and thought they communicated better than that, but we have seen that shit SO many times.

And speaking of shit we’ve seen too many times, I am so tired of stories about human and animal friendship always ending in either death or “being set free.”  Can’t I just have one movie where they get to grow old together??

It was beautifully done for the most part. I really liked Toothless gaining physical independence and Hiccup learning it emotionally. And I’m glad humans didn’t decide to push into the Hidden World because that would have been stupid. The goodbyes and the epilogue made me cry. But the fact that the epilogue took a decade and Toothless FORGOT about Hiccup pissed me off.

I guess they were going for a coming of age thing by having them separate, but to me, it felt more like, “Once you get married, friendships must DIE” or “the love interest you just met is more important than your best friend of 6+ years” which is not only nonsense, it’s horrible. I know that wasn’t their intent, but it was poorly done.

I also have problems with the concept of the hidden world in general. For one thing, it was a cop-out of a solution to protect all the dragons. For another, it can’t actually be some kind of perfect dragon utopia. They would never have left it if it was. I imagine they’d devastate the fish population and run out of food if nothing else. I know: it’s a fantasy movie. But still, it feels so lazy.

I think there could have been some middle ground. Like, maybe New Berk could be about half a mile from the waterfall thing. The dragons could visit easily and often but they wouldn’t be “pets” anymore. It would still be a change and having to stand (or fly) on their own but it wouldn’t have to be so drastic.  

I still love these movies but I’m also incredibly sad that they didn’t come anywhere close to fulfilling the potential the first one offered. /rant

[oveliagirlhaditright]

Night Light Part 6

Lea’s PoV Lea... was in a strange place. And that was really him putting it mildly. How he'd even gotten here, he didn't know—since he was supposed to have been with Roxas, Xion, Isa, and Naminé—but it didn't look like any of them were around. But he was within what appeared to be some large, log rollercoaster with a wildcat beside him as they sailed along. And if it wasn’t bad enough that he was trapped with a jungle beast right now… but there was something about him, that made him seem… somehow sharper looking than any animal Lea had ever met before, and it reminded him of how Sora had always described the Caribbean—or even The Grid—to be. "...Okay," Lea muttered uncertainly, as he reached a hand out to try and pet the kitty's fur despite himself—trying to make a good first impression—but only for the cat to play bite him. And Lea could tell that it was a play bite—because if this guy had really wanted to hurt him, he would've—but any form of biting at all wasn’t good. Lea figured that this Prince of Heart—because of course he thought that was what this animal was, and why he was here—was stuck between being tame and going feral, and Lea didn't want to play games if he was about to lose his cool. So Lea just opted to stay in the “roller coaster” with the cat until he decided to get out… which fortunately, didn’t take much longer. About a half-an-hour later, Lea would say, the critter leaped out of the air (and Lea barely had the chance to create a Corridor of Darkness to follow him) and was running through a doggy door that looked like it was made for him. Lea followed the cat into this building—realizing right away that it was some sort of restaurant, and that the animal somehow seemed right at home here—when the two of them ended up getting stuck in the freezer! …It was really embarrassing that it had happened at all—and how glad Lea was, that none of his friends were here to witness his fall—but one moment, the kitten was going to check on some meat (and Lea was following him to see if he’d run into anyone of this world who could tell him if this was a Prince of Heart or not)… And the next thing Lea knew, these kids had run by the freezer without seeing them there, and had run into the door and accidentally locked both Lea and his new best friend away. Near instantly, this cat was upset—with his ears down and tail both down, as he growled for the situation and began trying to scratch anything and everything to find a way out of the room—and Lea could hardly blame him, as he was starting to freeze himself… He knew that he had fire magic that he could use to help out with the situation of course… but at the same time, Lea didn’t want to risk that spooking his new friend even more, either… and the whole idea of “spooking” was the same reason that he wasn’t putting the big guy through a Corridor of Darkness to try and escape that way. So, Lea did the smart thing that anyone in this situation would do… he began pounding on the door as loudly as he could—though still trying to keep some air of calm about him, so the big cat wouldn’t think he was a threat—as he hollered for anyone who might hear him, “Hey, café workers! You locked a would-be customer in here with your jungle cat! Now how about getting us out of here? Help!” And Lea kept on like that for a while—and it seemed to Lea like the cat actually seemed to be admiring him for his truth and no-nonsense attitude… or maybe the cold in here really was just getting to him—before finally, he and the cat (who had still been clawing at things) got someone’s attention and they flung the door open. And the cat, in being excited to finally tear out of his prison, bolted out the door and unintentionally somewhat scratched the man who had just let him out. “Oww, Jess!” the man complained, as both he and Lea watched the cat go. “Was that Charlie? It looks like he’s gone full-on wild. Someone stop that cat!” And despite the fact that Lea himself had earlier been worrying about this “Charlie” going feral, he couldn’t help feeling that this line of thinking was unfair on the other guy’s part now. And he told the man as much, as he, said man, and this Jess figure chased after their friend. “I don’t think he went wild! I think he was spooked from having been locked in a freezer. Hell, I was too!” But it was no use. Charlie had wandered into a construction zone, but that just scared him even more… And all the people who saw him running their way—in trying to get away from this massive unknown—assumed he was opting to attack them, so soon it became a mob chasing the poor thing (that Lea was warning them against the whole time—saying that this was a Prince of Heart, and that they had no idea what making him choose the darkness would do to the fate of the world. But no one would listen to him). And finally, Charlie had fallen into an elevator shaft that the men were making—and they were about to shoot the guy!—and it was at this time that Lea jumped in with Charlie, having had enough. Reaching out to his animal companion once more—but this time feeling as though they’d bonded a little bit—Lea scratched him behind his ears and said, “I don’t blame you for being afraid of the freezer, Charlie. I was the same. Here: do you want me to do some fire magic so I can show you that if you stay with me, you’ll never have to worry about the cold again?” And Lea did show him exactly that—though making sure to just summon some steam to his hands, rather than flames—and it was exactly when Charlie seemed appeased by this, that Jess jumped down and calmed—what appeared to be—his cat even more, and got a collar and leash on him so that they could get him back up into the crowd of people above them without them being worried about what Charlie may do. Lea rode the makeshift elevator up with Charlie and Jess… climbed out of the building that was being built alongside the two… and then finally, when they were walking back towards the diner, Lea asked Jess the million-munny question he’d been contemplating this whole time. “I gotta ask… do you know anything about the Princesses—or Princes, in this case—of Heart? And do you know if Charlie’s one?” …And it was plain to see on Jess’ face, that he had no idea what Lea was talking about… but he seemed willing to play along with him, since he’d just helped him save his cat from having to be murdered. He smiled at Lea, as he told him all about Charlie. “I’d say that Charlie’s our little prince and heart of the Cascade Mountains, yeah! Especially where food is concerned... But if you’re looking for a princess cougar… why don’t you go along with me to where I plan to drop Charlie off at? “As a father, it’s hard to admit this… but I think my kitten’s become a cat and it’s time to finally let him go. There’s this place in the wild nearby that I think will be great for Charlie, and that might have some female cougars there.” So Lea got in the car—err… was that what they were called? Lea still wasn’t entirely sure—with this Jess and his fiancée, and kept up a nice conversation with them the whole time: trying to make it not seem like he was going to kidnap Charlie, and whatever mate Charlie was going to choose for himself, the moment that Jess was away… when in all actuality, that was exactly what Lea was going to do. And it was when Lea was around the two cats in their new homeland (for, yes: Charlie had started playing with a female cougar right away, that Lea wondered was the real Princess of Heart here), that he heard the voice of the Master of Masters in his head and snarled at it. That menace was supposed to be dead! “Aren’t you, like, so glad that I sent you away from your friends, and gave you the easy job here, Lea? Now: bring these cats with you and come to me. Because if you want to stop Gula’s horrific plan, we need to act now.” Author’s Note: Sorry that this is just a Lea chapter, but I needed to get it done. I swear everyone else will be back next chapter. And this is the Disney movie “Charlie and the Lonesome Cougar”, for those who don’t know. It means a lot to me, because I just lost my dad to cancer and this was a movie we both loved and bonded over. This chapter is dedicated to you, Dad. I love you and miss you. But I know I’ll see you again.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. i went to class today but otherwise wasn’t productive at all. 

i got up a little late and zoned out in the shower out of exhaustion, which was the opposite of what i actually wanted to do. i kind of gave up on preparing lunch and just put in some of my instant oatmeal. i did eat a little more at breakfast though. that kept me going until lunchtime pretty well.

on the bus today it took 25 minutes to travel 2 miles because of people just walking out into the road without checking for buses or giving cars a chance to get out of the stop sign area. by the time we got to the physics building i had died and my body had decomposed into a skeleton.

class was fine. the first two, i mean. i actually... almost followed the classical mechanics lecture today. i feel like i’m sort of catching up, but since i’ve gotten my first assignment back the grades DO NOT reflect that feeling. 

i got a 50% on the first quantum homework. apparently a lot of other people did too but i didn’t... feel like i was wrong in the same way that everyone else was? even though i had the same things written down, as far as i was aware, people looked at my work and said “no you gotta do more than that.” even though people who scored higher than me had written less and with less detail, AS FAR AS I COULD TELL.

that was the most frustrating. jennica wrote less than me, with no math (i didn’t exactly have a lot of math but i at least explicitly wrote out what i was trying to get at), and she scored more than twice as many points as me. but i guess she included some magic word that meant she got it more right than me? it’s so frustrating to not know why the grader liked someone else’s work more than mine. our answers looked identical to me but i guess there was just some key word i was missing that was magically worth twice my score.

actually basically all of my classmates want to dispute their grades. they were going to talk to the grader about it tomorrow. i still scored the lowest out of anyone though and also they were pointing out why my answers were more wrong than theirs despite the fact that i had written basically the same thing, which i had taken to be the correct answer because we all reached it fairly separately.

i wanted to sit in a chair and curl up and whine to an empty room about it but instead i went out for “krishna” lunch with my classmates. i ate about a quarter of a plate. luis was kind and bought me a ten-meal package deal and said i could just pay him back later. it was really good, but i didn’t have much of an appetite. i thought it was kind of funny that i was praising how good the food was and when i put down my plate i had eaten like 30% of its contents when everyone else had clean plates.

oh, i made a really good joke at luis on the way over to the lunch event. when we were leaving the physics building i finger-gunned at him and said something like “bingo-bongo, let’s get some food!” and he looked at me and said “i have never in my life heard bingo-bongo before.” and i said “oh, in arizona it’s, it’s a big thing, it’s-” and then i cut myself off because i had to laugh. 

he kind of laughed too but i’m not sure if it’s because i was laughing or if it was because he understood that i was very obviously and very badly lying to him.

when we were about done eating i stood over by keegan and harrison and we were talking about random stuff. i started asking wildly strange theoretical questions built up out of weird what-ifs we were posing. like we started talking about teleporters and what that means for an individual’s life or consciousness. maybe i was getting a little bit out of hand. i asked, if two people shared a consciousness (due to teleporter cloning), what would happen if one got on a rocket ship and went at light speed for a while and then came back to earth. would they both experience a weird time dilation? would one “half” of the consciousness have more input than the other for the duration?

keegan said “luckily we don’t have to think about that because it’s not real.”

i was kind of put out but i answered with “if we didn’t think about things that weren’t real we wouldn’t have much physics.”

but i still felt dumb and awkward! so that’s a plus. i told him and harrison i was saying nonsense anyway. we walked back to the department with jennica.

i know my sense of humor is weird and not always easy to parse... i have a lot of trouble explaining why something i like is so funny. i have trouble explaining some logic leaps i make too. my thought process is like a weird black box where conclusions jump out and i can’t always remember where they came from or how they got there, but they are conclusions i made so i stick to them!

it helps to write out my thoughts. it helps a lot. when i can see the thoughts i just had i can better explain the relationship between the sentence i just said and the one i’m about to say.

going back and re-reading my old journal entries is wild though. it feels like someone i don’t know wrote them. even when i clearly remember the events and the thoughts i was having at the time, seeing those thoughts written down is really weird.

usually my first reaction is “man, that person is depressed. and very, very strange.”

um... after we got back i played ping-pong with jennica. i think i choked at the end of the game and lost but i don’t remember honestly, it was real close. jennica complained that i am way better than she thought i would be. then harrison got up to the table and we made dumb tennis jokes and compared the paddles to how you would hold rackets. we had a lot of fun screwing up our backspins.

then i played melee against keegan for a little bit. i made a lot of mistakes by trying to press all the buttons at once from panic. i ran out of steam after 30 or 40 minutes and just sat on the couch and stared at my computer screen for a while instead until e&m class.

e&m was annnnnnn adventurrrrrrrrre. we got our quizzes back. 50%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after we went over the quiz answers the professor said that if anyone wanted to dispute their grades we had to come up to the front of the class and leave our tests on his desk and come talk to him about it after class. i looked around and literally no one got up so i shuffled uncomfortably in my seat and decided to wait until the end of class to talk to him about it. THIS WAS A MISTAKE.

i took notes on the lecture diligently and left myself notes to clarify things i remembered from the last time i took this class. i think it might start to click for me soon. well, i tell myself that. there’s no guarantee. and even if it does click that doesn’t mean my grades will improve. so maybe that means i won’t understand after all.

anyway after class i brought up my quiz to talk to him about it. he was explaining stuff to other students at the board and there were a few people just milling about. this becomes very important in a minute. 

so i brought up the quiz and i said i’d like to talk about the grade i got and maybe come to a better understanding of the material. the professor told me that he had told everyone to bring their disputes up to the front of the class. i explained that i got nervous because no one else stood up so i decided to wait until the end of class when he’d be answering questions anyway and maybe we could talk during his office hours.

he said “you have to come up when i tell you to come up. this isn’t part of your accommodations.”

i kind of blinked? i knew he had said something that made me feel bad but the “feel bad” hadn’t quite hit yet. and the immediate “stomach drop” feeling i didn’t understand until i talked to the other grads about it for a few minutes.

like... the one-liners are really demoralizing. “i could tell just by looking at you.” that’s stuck with me. why would realizing i was the only student who wanted to dispute grades, and thus waiting until the end of class to talk to him about it instead of doing it in front of everyone, make him decide to bring up my accommodations letter and its contents? in front of these other students?

like, he said that! in front!! of other!!! students!!!! that’s supposed to be confidential!!!!!

i don’t know what to do about it. i was really upset... this hasn’t happened with professors before. usually it’s just mom or dad or grampa or whoever. i don’t understand where these comments are coming from.

i talked to him about my grade during his office hours. i had to wait over a half hour. i talked to two of the undergrads that were waiting outside his office door. we were trying to figure out the posters of his research he’d put on the walls. they were very badly designed. the first one was just a lot of jargon that we had to talk through. we sort of figured out the second one, but there was just so much wrong with it that i can’t even summarize here.

anyway the office hours. he wanted to look over my quiz himself since i made sure to condense my concern into a single problem that i knew had been graded wrong. so he started going over the problem with pen. i wanted to explain to him some of my notation beforehand- but he interrupted me to tell me "you go at a hundred miles per hour, and i’m sorry i only go at 20″ and kind of gave me a look, like “i’m sorry that’s not fast enough for you.” 

he started... asking questions about my notation while he was grading! and left a lot of really dense marker lines where he didn’t understand something i had written down. when he asked out loud what a mark i had made on the paper was, i hopped in real quick to say “that’s just a one-” and he cut me off with a loud sigh and then a deep breath, like he was just barely holding in an anger explosion. so i sat while he asked questions about things that would be clear once he read the next sentence, and made marks on my paper that he would cross out when he did get to the next sentence. it left my work very cluttered and covered in crossed-out marks.

he gave me the hundred-mile-an-hour comment again at the end and i thanked him for his time. there was a person waiting behind me. if i had been able to answer his questions (even just as they came up!) we could have finished sooner and wasted less of the poor kid’s time.

i went home after that... i was too tired to deal with anything. i called mom because my insurance isn’t covering all those sessions i had at the hospital over the summer and if we don’t get them to cover it in a week then my family has to pay the full price. even though insurance previously said they would cover a certain amount of sessions and i attended that many sessions and not more than that (even though it was less than standard). 

i told mom about the weird comments i was getting from the e&m professor and about how much trouble i was having trying to eat and she told me to try harder to be less stressed.

JUST!!!!!! TRY!!!!!!!!!! HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok anyway i made dinner and burned my fingers and then i bummed around on the internet for 3 hours and now it’s 10:30 and i have to go to bed so i can get up in the morning and teach for four hours straight and call a million doctors and figure out paperwork and and and and

stack overflow error

[daesungindistress]

Daesung on Weekly Idol

I’m probably super behind on all this since I’ve been away for awhile, but I finally watched the 2nd episode of Big Bang on Weekly Idol last night. And I’ve gotta say something about Daesung. It is admittedly kind of whiny (I warned ya!) so I’m putting it behind a “read more”.

So first of all, the episode was amazing, of course it was, they are all just too much fun when the five of them get together and play games. But surely... surely I’m not the only one who felt like Daesung deserved to win at least once. Yeah, yeah, here I go, boo-hooing over it like a parent pitching a fit over their child not receiving a participation trophy. But I’ve gotta let it out. Like, it’s a good thing Daesung doesn’t ever seem to care too much about winning, because dangit, y’all, he poured so much into every game he played, filled every performance of his to the brim with energy and real effort, and every time he seemed to fall just a bit short of just one of the others. Stuck in second place. Or, I don’t know, seemed like second place to me. That might be my bias showing through.

What was especially frustrating was how often everyone would exclaim, “Oh! Wow! What a strong start (if he’d gone first), how can we beat that? How can anyone beat that?” And then someone would go and do just that. Look, losing is one thing, losing is fine, but being built up and led to believe that you’re almost assuredly going to win and then having that snatched away at the last is always especially hard. Hard not to get your hopes up when people talk like that. And I just found it difficult to see happen over and over again to Daesung. Especially after the final game, the girl group dance. Yes, I’m about to be one of those fans, y’all. Because I believe Daesung should have won that.

Don’t take this too seriously. I’m not upset with any of the other members after this, just... letting off some steam, I guess. Because though it was supposed to be all fun and games, by the end I was actually physically hurting for him. From somewhere in my chest, this pain... uh, yeah, probably my heart. lol

1. Gwiyomi. Yes, yes, Seungri had this one in the bag, I think we all knew that from the start. Daesung’s gwiyomi kind of freaked me out tbh, lol, though it was still a great effort and so full of energy. And everyone was all, “Whoahhhh, that was too strong for a first performance!” But keeping in mind the criteria-- that GD wanted the performance to be so cutesy it would make him angry... yeahhhh. Seungri had that one wrapped up from the start, lol.

2. TOP’s improvised rap. I thought Daesung would win it because he did pretty dang well and I loved how, when he got up and started spinning his chair to play the part of a DJ, TOP immediately crouched down and followed suit with such an excited look on his face. They seemed to connect in that moment, and I thought Daesung would gain points for appealing to the judge. I was honest-to-god surprised when TOP awarded the win to Seungri. HOWEVER... I can see why he did it, I can. Technically, Seungri’s performance fit the judge’s criteria better. It was... different. It was weird. And that’s just what TOP likes, and it’s exactly what he had asked for. Still, Daesung making this face (below) as TOP handed his card over to Seungri with such a happy expression made me go :(

3. And then the GIRL GROUP DANCE. With Seungri as the judge, it had to be Daesung or GD. Those two are great at girl group dances (and I loooooove it). Daesung gets really into it every time, and he has this way of dancing with his hips that does the dance justice. I freaking love watching him dance to girl group stuff (wanted to kill the cameraman, however, for spending so much time filming above the waist while he danced-- what a waste! Pardon the pun). In contrast, Taeyang physically cannot do most girl group dances because he dances too much with his upper body-- like such a guy. Too much chest and shoulders and the like, not enough hip. His way of moving is too masculine. Not to mention his overwhelming embarrassment that holds him back every time. Not even going to say anything about TOP, hahaha...

That said... alright, look. GD’s dance was good. It was really, very good. But Daesung truly took it away. What’s more, he stared straight at the judge and lip-synced the song the entire way through! If the goal was to look like he was the “center” of a girl group-- which it was-- he blew it out of the water. GD, on the other hand, was looking at the ground throughout most of his dance and seemed embarrassed like he was just going through the motions and it was just... just... I’m biased, I know, so biased... but I thought he had it... I guess I just wanted Daesung to win something by then. All of his efforts had been so solid, and that one was his best yet. It’s like he got better and better the longer they went.

But when Seungri asked them to dance another song, and GD began complaining to the MC’s about how tired he was, I was like, ‘Oh for the love of-- Seungri is going to pick GD, and it will be for reasons having little or nothing to do with his performance. It’s GD. Who’s going to refuse him? He’s not going to pick Daesung over GD, he’s just not.’ And he didn’t. And then we got this shot below.

I feel incredibly silly even writing this. Like, Daesung probably didn’t even care, was probably just ready to be done with it and go home, but... IDK. He gives it his all every time and it’d be nice to see him rewarded for it. I JUST FELT SO BAD FOR DAE OKAY. I... I guess I still do. Enough to write this stupid entry about it, anyway (oh god this must be how disgruntled Seungri fans so often feel).

What still surprises me is how I hurt for him there at the end. I’m not normally so empathetic, and it’s such a trivial thing to get upset about, anyway. Got me thinking a little bit about how his fans must have felt back when actual bad things happened to him years ago. Ouch.

Although, on second thought, “beating” GD in any kind of competition might have only made Daesung feel worse, LOL. Maybe-- just maybe-- he was glad not to win? Maybe Seungri was sparing him all kinds of trouble by doing what he did? I mean, dang, I’d hate to think that GD could be that vindictive. It honestly never occurred to me until now, here at the very end of this entry. IDK, IDK, food for thought.

[multiplefandomfics]

Grimes sisters chapter 24

And here we go again...

Pairings: Daryl x Alex; Negan x Fabienne

Warnings: angst, drama

Words: 1739

Fabienne POV

Doctor Carson did a thorough check up on Alex while Maggie and I waited. I was so frightened when she had just fainted. “You can come back in. I’m done.” he suddenly announced. “And? what’s wrong with her?” I asked agitated but he only motioned to Alex room so silently we entered. She was smiling at us so Maggie wanted to know how she was while I sat down grabbing her hand. ”Well I’m better and there is a good reason why I fainted...” he stopped shortly and then started to grin widely “I’m pregnant. Seems like this sister synchronization really is a thing.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Pregnant? Alex as well? How cool was that? So soon enough there would be three children running around here. It was all so exciting. I pulled her toward me and engulfed her into a big bear hug. “I’m so happy for you, well for both of you. You really gotta tell Daryl!” I rambled. And suddenly my thoughts went back to Negan. How much I wished he was here with me. Sadly I turned my head away from my sister. She noticed my change of emotions “Hey what’s wrong? You thinking of him again?” I nodded.

Then we left her to regain her strength before we headed back to Alexandria. Maggie showed me the rest of Hilltop. “Wow it’s amazing what you have built here.” I said in awe.

Later I went back to the infirmary to ask Alex if she was ready to head back because it was gonna turn dark soon. She agreed and so we promised doctor Carson we were gonna come and visit frequently from then on and got Aaron to drive us back home.

Before we could get into the car Jesus had reached us and pulled me and then my sister into a bone crushing hug “Congrats to you two!” he wished to us and we thanked him grinning. I didn’t know Jesus very well actually but he was always so nice and heartwarming.

The way back we didn’t speak much and I was just hoping to see a waiting Negan when we arrived or at least a sign… but unfortunately nothing.

Disappointed I went to my room and sat down on my bed. In thought I fidgeted with my blanket until a knock on my door ripped me out of them. In stepped Rick and sat down next to me. He wasn’t yet aware of Alex’s pregnancy because she wanted to tell Daryl first so I didn’t say anything.

How are you feeling?” he asked after a minute of silence and I pulled up my shoulders. “How am I supposed to feel? With everything going down as it is.” I whispered with my head hung low. His glance turned hard again I knew what was to come then. “You’re not really hoping that he’s coming back to get you or apologize and be suddenly interested in that baby growing inside you, are you? He’s a psychopath!” he complained. I breathed out audibly “Rick. I can understand where you’re coming from. But I have feelings for him and I have seen a good side to him. I’m not giving up hope!” I explained to him. He was not gonna stop me. He had tried before and didn’t succeed then so he wasn’t gonna now. “I’ll have an eye on you!” and with these words he left.

Alex POV

the whole car ride back I thought about the best way to tell Daryl the big news. We hadn’t talked about children but I had seen him with Judith and I just knew he was gonna be a great father. I also knew that he didn’t believe in himself and his insecurities were eating him up. He was too afraid to become like his old man or his brother. I needed to be careful with how I said it. Soon we arrived back in Alexandria and everyone went their own way. I decided to get it over with and searched for Daryl. On my way through town I met Carol “Hey Carol, have you seen Daryl? I need to talk to him. Urgently!” I emphasized. “Oh yes. He’s in the garage fixing something on his bike.” she smiled and then walked past me.

My heart beast wildly in my chest when I neared him. Seeing him bend over his hot-rod was a sight for sore eyes and I admired his backside for a second before clearing my throat.

He turned around “Hey sweetheart. You back already? Everythin’ alright?” he asked smiling.

“Yeah, yes everything’s good. How was your day?” I rambled nervously.

“Fine. Hunted a deer. That’s gonna feed us for a while.” he told me and it made me happy. Finally something other than squirrel.

“there is something else why I’m here. I need to tell you something that is gonna change our lifes. Would you sit down for that?” I invited him.

“What is it?” he looked concerned.

“Well, when we were walking through the gardens at Hilltop with Maggie, I kinda fainted suddenly and...”

“What? Are you okay?” he rushed to my side and held me worriedly.

“I’m good, well more than good actually. Their doctor gave me a once over and found out that… well… Daryl I’m pregnant… you’re gonna be a dad. Isn’t that amazing?” I asked him unsure of his reaction.

A few minutes nothing happened. He just stared at the floor and breathed. Then he suddenly moved real quick. With a loud bang a metal bowl rattled to the floor and I winced visibly.

“What does that mean, you’re pregnant? I can’t be a father. I just can’t Alex! I… I need to.. I have to go!” he was stuttering completely confused always pulling at his hair. I tried to calm him by taking his arm but he just slipped out of my grasp, grabbed his bike and drove past me and out of Alexandria. I was destroyed. His behavior hurt me so much. Then I knew how Fabienne must have felt when Negan had just left her here. My knees buckled and I sank to the ground weeping. I didn’t know what to do without him. I couldn’t do this on my own. He was the love of my life that much was clear in that moment. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably. I was paralyzed with shock and pain. That reaction was not what I had expected at all. I just hoped he was coming back soon when he had cooled off.

Rick POV

the new day had already begun and I was sitting on the patio enjoying the sun. I was thinking of how lucky I was that I hat gotten Fabienne back safe and sound. The only thing that I couldn’t wrap my head around was that she was pregnant from that murdering psychopath.

Exasperated I drove my hands over my tired eyes until I heard Aaron shouting my name. “Rick? It seems like Fabienne is trying to flee.” immediately I jumped up and ran toward the fence part that Aaron had pointed me to. And indeed there she was, outside the gates. She probably wanted to head back to Negan even though I thought that to be a terrible idea.

Aaron and I tailed her for a while until she sat down on a tree trunk to rest a bit. I needed to prevent her from doing a big mistake. “What are you doing here?” I suddenly asked her from behind and she shot around glaring at me “Holy shit Rick! Don’t you dare startle me like that again!” she yelled at me seriously. “You wanted to run and we just came out to protect you. you’re coming back with us now.” I grabbed her wrist carefully and wanted to pull her back when I saw her eyes glaze over again. “Let him come to you. Don’t run after him. He’s not worth the trouble!” I assured her. I embraced her until she had calmed down a bit and then we walked the way back to Alexandria.

Exhausted she went to bed and I hated seeing her cry herself to sleep. She really wasn’t lucky with men. My poor sister. “It’s probably just the hormones.” she excused her emotions. Maybe. Softly I stroked her hair until she had fallen asleep and then I went down and sat at the kitchen table when Alex came to me.

“Hey big brother. How are you?” she asked me and I instantly knew something was up or she wouldn’t have called me that.

“What’s wrong Alex? You sound distressed. I saw Daryl leave yesterday and he hasn’t been home yet. What happened?” I asked her and she smiled a bit because I had immediately known that something was up.

“When I was at Hilltop I had a circulatory collapse and when doctor Carson did his check up he found out that… I’m pregnant like half the women around us at the moment. And when I told Daryl he ran. I’m so afraid he’s not gonna come back again. I love him so much and I’m sure he’s gonna be a great dad.” she told me. It did shock me but Daryl was indeed a good guy and he just needed to blow off some steam.

“Darling that’s great news. Then I will have two nieces or nephews running around soon. And I’m sure that Daryl is going to be back. He isn’t mad at you. More at himself. You know him. He reacts with anger when he’s afraid. It’s his way of hiding his fear. He loves you so much.” I assured her and hugged her to my side.

“You sure?” she asked me sniveling.

“Yes very much so. Just wait and see.” I kissed her forehead lovingly and my words seemed to have calmed her. Now I had two hormonal pregnant sisters at home. One with a notorious bad boy as a father to her child who I, and most of the others around here, hated like the plague, and the other one is having a baby with Daryl, who was like a brother to me but was really afraid of becoming a father. Both not ideal situations but we were gonna make it through this. We always did!

[mtgsharzad]

GRN Prerelease Notes

WeIt’s been a while since I’ve gone to a prerelease. I think since...BFZ? But with the free Arena sealed voucher and the return to return to Ravnica, Magic’s greatest setting, I schlepped my way to the game store (after swallowing two edibles).  It’s a different store than the one I used to prerelease at. A narrow room is filled with one line of tables and barely enough space on either side of them to walk past. The counter stretches...6 metres? It’s a game store, like many and unlike many others. I showed up 3 minutes late and all the non-Izzet prerelease packs have been taken. Not much of a choice, izzet? God, kill me. I get a promo Firemind’s Insight and a really conflicted Sealed pool. I have three Selesnya rares, a Steam Vents, an Assassin’s Trophy (which I’m going to trade away) and the new 1R growing elemental guy.  I have, like, no playable creatures, and end up reaching for two copies of Muse Drake just to be able to play more than 8 battle dumplings. I built into a grixis fliers/midrange deck, mostly anchored around my copious removal and my UUBB guy.  I always forget how long we’re allowed for deckbuilding at these events. I’m usually a quick deckbuilder, but the drugs kick in and I find myself looking at the same 25 possible includes for a straight 15 minutes. I cut my second copy of the 1UB enchantment and grab basics, and proceed to have a really pleasant conversation with the guy diagonal from me about Legacy Pox. What a beautiful deck! He confessed to running the 1-of granddaddy Pox, as well as 4 Sinkhole, 4 Wasteland, 4 Smallpox, etc. Gotta love a man who plays the 1-of. He said he plays Percy as a finisher though, instead of the Nether Shadow recursion/beats strat - “make a percy, swing three times, you’re dead”, he explains. Sounds interesting! Round one. I’m up against a friendly Asian guy in his late 20s. He’s on BUG, and we have a good back-and-forth, but I take the series 2-1. Nothing really memorable or exceptional here; just some good old fashioned Sealed gameplay. I take game 3 with a reasonably-thrilling combo kill out of nohwere with Wee Dragonauts buffs and 6 points of burn going dome. Really great games, I say, and he agrees. I report the match win to the store owner, who I think gives me a little wink of approval. Who is this strange newcomer, who can win her first game? I imagine he’s saying. She must be a powerful sorceress. Round two. I deckbuilt across from this guy, so I know that he’s on Naya and has a foil Trostani (jealous). He had a bye R1, so I’m nervous, but I pretend I didn’t know this when he explains it to me. “So, you feeling good, then?” I ask, and he replies with something that’s music to my ears: He’s a total scrub! He has no idea how to play Magic, and is “usually the worst guy in the room”. I’m about 5% wary of some kind of hustle, but I don’t think I’m being hustled; this guy is earnest about how bad he is at Magic, so let’s just have some fun games! In game 1, I keep a risky hand with UR mana and two B spells. I never find a Swamp, and Sammy Scrub over here just develops a board and beats me down.  The whole time, he’s table talking nervously about how this is the best it ever goes for him, and this is probably the best he’ll do all day. A turn before I’d die, I say gg and flop the hand, which now has 4 B spells and still no B mana.  ”That explains a lot”, he says. In game 2, I take a dicy mull to 4 looking for lands. I’m sitting on Swamp, new Rupture Spire, Dinrova Horror, Goblin Cratermaker, which is at least an all-stars version of my shitty, shitty deck. I manage to do some nice stack trickery with Cratermaker that fizzles one of his Auras. After clarifying the difference between Auras and Equipment, I take game 2 easily. 

This seems like an apt point to take a moment to take a personal stand: I hate the way he taps his mana. He keeps all his lands in a single pile, behind his library (and therefore more or less underneath his arm from my viewpoint). This game, he did this thing where he’d hold up 3 mana for like 4 turns, and I’d have to keep clarifying that he had mana up, with him even doing things like casting a Worldsoul Colossus with X=2 so he could hold up mana (I Dead Weighted it. 😭Brutal😭). Turns out he was holding onto a Plummet effect; when I slammed the Dinrova Horror, he said “oh, that has flying, right?” and tried to kill it. Damn, sorry dude, but it also has Hexproof... Anyway. The experience of playing against multiple people with really incoherent mana presentation made me resolve to be even better about my own land display. It’s something Magic Arena couldn’t possibly have reminded me about; the messiness and personal flair that goes into the way each player taps, plays, and manipulates their cards, all outside of the game itself.  Game 3 also comes down to some board stall where I blunted his early assault and stabilized with Wee Dragonauts. Once I hit 6 mana I did the 4UR split card spell to search for an instant (the jumpstart draw 2) and a sorcery (the 3bb murder surveil 2). That was my endgame value chain, and he just couldn’t beat it. I played really forgivingly and walked him through my understandings of several combats in a way that I think made him a more equitable opponent to me, and so for that reason I think we had some really captivating fun games. I really liked this guy, and I hope he did well after we fought. We go to turns, so my idea to buy pizza before R3 is tragically dashed on the rocks. I still haven’t eaten (always take pills on an empty stomach, kids), and I’m starting to feel it.

 My opponent this round is a happy looking fat kid, who the entrenched player cracking a box to my left apparently mentored in Magic’s rules. The moment we square up I realize he’s a “Real Opponent” in a way the round 2 guy simply wasn’t; he does the pro player card shuffling tic, announces every trigger, and his cards make the loud SLICK SLICK SLACK of a player who knows exactly which card he’s putting where, and who intends to waste no time doing so.

We both mull to 6. “Ooh, hope you didn’t keep a fast one, or I might need to go to 5″, I tease. He tells me he kept a fast one, I stay on 6, and true to his word, he grizzly bears me into the dust by turn 6. Brutal! I mire in self-abnegation. You IDIOT, I think. He said it was a fast one, I castigate. Oops! This is not the mindset of a champion. I reset quickly for game two. At this point we’re comfortable enough in the dance, two mature players (one a child) with cleanly-laid-out mana and creatures and full understanding of the Stack, and we’re bullshitting and talking Modern while we play. It’s a joyous experience, the best time I’ve had playing paper Magic recently. I take game 2 pretty cleanly when he’s stuck on two lands, and the land clump he hits on turn 5 is too little too late, even though he slams a locket as soon as he can play it. I misplay a little by forgetting some of his announced triggers during combat, and get a 1-for-1 on my Dinrova Horror instead of the 2-for-1 I’d planned on. Oops! I win handily, though.  In game 3 I kept a risky 6 - 5 lands and a two-drop. I draw more lands and just can’t spend gas fast enough to keep up, and he curves me into the dust with his efficient little battle dumplings. RIP, really great games. The thrill of combat and the hot copper taste of blood (I think I bit my cheek accidentally?) fill my veins.  In the pizza meta selection subgame, I walk in the door thinking Potato, but audibled to Feta and Sundried Tomatoes because I heard Boros had good chances against the field. 

I walk back down the street to the LGS. The pizza did what it needed to and has loosened the feelings of self-doubt that come with your first tournament loss of the day. I am a champion. I am a queen. I’m beautiful. I visualize myself going 3-1.  My opponent for the fourth and final round is another teen, but he’s way worse than the cute friendly pro-to-be. He’s really soft-spoken, which wouldn’t be a problem but Putative Pro is the other match on this table and he and I are still occasionally shooting the shit, much to Surly Kid’s annoyance. Sorry, dog! I would normally use your turns to plan strategy or whatever, but he takes such ponderous long turns I feel like I have no choice. He’s moaning that he’s had to mull to 5 5 times already. My heart goes out to the kid, but maybe he should learn to trust in the heart of the cards!~ He’s built a pretty solid GWr aggro deck, lots of lifegain and Mentor effects. Exactly the kind of deck I’m not built to answer! But it turns out that spot removal works okay against mentor if you can keep them from having two guys attack on any given turn. I bleed out before I can stabilize game 1, though.  Game 2 I barely remember also, but I think I had a solid early curve and managed to discard his 1 answer in-hand. Hard to complain about that!

Game 3. Game 3 is scary. We both mull to 5 and have shaky starts. He hits me with early pressure and takes me down to like 5 real early, while I’ve managed to chip him down to like 16. FIVE TURNS, comes the booming announcement. Oh shit, I think. I have to take this. A 3-1 finish is so close, I can taste it. I end up stacking Wee Dragonauts and Electrostatic Wall triggers to find exact lethal on my last of the 5 extra turns. It’s incredibly, viscerally, beautifully satisfying. I feel electric, triumphant, and exultatory. This is my apotheosis. 

I win...three packs! Oops. The kid who beat me in R3 came first (satisfying to only lose to the winner), but because of the byes, someone has a 3-0-1 record, and they get the 6 packs due to second. Still, it’s a delight to place. TRADES:  traded away my Assassin’s Trophy for a K Command, new Niv, some cube cards / foils and some pocket change.