#just got in my mine turtle game it rules

[tubapun]

Leather daddy asdfguy?

[snowlupinwoodstories]

Time To Get Your Nails Did!

Say hi to Jeremey, the red eared slider who has a date with a caimen girl. He needs his claws done because he's been neglecting them!

Jeremey tapped his claws against his shirt covered shell out of nervousness. He couldn’t believe he’d planned a first date without being sure he’d found a proper turtle claw salon! His nails were dull and he was worried he might be close to having them crack or break off since he hadn’t spent time making sure to keep up on natural filing. Sure they were long and attractive, but it wouldn’t be good if they snapped off in the middle of the date. 

He did however find a salon that accepted walk-ins. He decided it was better to take the chance and get someone to touch up his nails the right way, rather than try and undo all the neglect at home. 

It was a small place, nestled between a Starbugs and a Chinese take-out. It had faux plants in the window, and advertised itself as a premier nail spa. Jeremey entered, the door causing an electronic ‘ding’ to ring out in the small space. It was filled to the brim with chatter, several of the nail techs talking amongst themselves, or to their clients, seeming to run at least two conversations at once. He tapped his nails against his shell again. All the techs were women, and all those getting their nails attended to were also women. 

At a turtle claw salon, or a claw salon in general would at least have one or two more masculine people at any time. He felt out of place, the bright lights showing off the soft pinks and yellows, the chatter, all of it reminded him this was not a place where he belonged. 

“How can I help you?” A voice called from the back of the store as an alligator snapping turtle moved down the center of the store to the front. 

Relief settled into Jeremey’s mind. Another turtle would at least understand what he was needing. Maybe this wasn’t a lost cause. “I’ve been kinda neglectful of my claw maintenance,” he told her. “I need some help,” he splayed his claws out, careful not to wiggle them so she didn’t think he was flirting with her. That would be awkward. “I have a date tonight.”

“Ouff, honey these need work,” she grabbed his wrist and pulled him over to an open station, pressing a button to fill the bowl with warm water. “Now why don’t you tell me about this date of yours.”

“Is she a nice girl with a large shell?” she chuckled as she began to scrub Jeremy’s claws, removing the dead worn bits, buffing them to the darkier more healthy color hiding underneath.

“Well, she doesn’t really have a shell,” Jeremey told the older turtle. “She’s a caiman. We met while at a Warhammerhead 40k tournament at the local game store. She whooped my ass, but really liked the paint job on my hound shark faction. She wanted to have dinner somewhere and get some painting pointers.”

“Oh, someone likes his girls big and scaly do they,” she guaffed, wiping down each claw with a soft towel, letting her get a better look at the poor cracked and worn talons. “Hmm, I’ve got my work cut out for me,” she muttered as she grabbed a bottle of oil and began rubbing it into the claws, helping to moisturize and bring shine back to the claws. 

“W-well maybe. I mean she’s really attractive,” He choked back, watching as her claws rubbed the oil into his claws in small deliberate circles. “And she’s really smart. I didn’t expect her acrobatic katshark specialist army to route me as well as it did.”

“Is this some type of video game?” the matronly alligator snapper asked slowly working her way over the claws. Her own claws never stopped moving, rubbing in the healing oil and helping to fill in the cracks and snags. 

“Not a video game. A tabletop war game. You buy the miniatures, the game pieces and paint them. Then you play the game with them,” he explained. “Each piece has its own rules and what they do. I just didn’t expect her army, which is made out of light weight models with gimmicks, would work so synergistically well against mine!”

“But she liked how you painted your pieces?” She put the oiled towel away, pulling out a very fine file and going carefully over areas that were damaged to further smooth the area. She’d re-apply the oil as she went making sure to lock in the moisture from the water in front of them.

“Oh yeah, she was really stoked that I’d done some really cool non-metallic metal, basically making the piece look like it was made of metal without using metallic paint. And the shading. Her army was cool too-she made her army bluegrey-orange-white calico! The amount of control you need on the brush to get those spots to not look like splotches is really difficult!”

“I see,” she stared off into the distance before asking, “Would you mind if I went a bit wild with the lacquer on your nails? I think I have a fun idea for your date!”

“Uhh, really just the clear lacquer is fine. It’s not like she knows turtle culture and I don’t want her to think I’m gay or something,” Jeremey pressed.

“Listen here!” She barked roughly grabbing his foot and pulling it towards her, “If she can’t handle a turtle with painted claws then turtles are too good for her. It's important to show them off, and may encourage you to spend extra time caring for them. “

She grabbed a white bottle of lacquer, and began brushing it on, the gray polish coating and sinking into the cracks and the rest of the claw, helping to protect and draw more attention. “You will feel better for it too, don’t let other ideas make you feel less of a person for honoring your heritage.”

Jeremey went silent, knowing better than to argue with an older matron about claw lacquer. He remembered his mother painting his claws red when he was a young hatchling, saying it brought out the red around his ears. Or when his mom and dad went on date nights, they’d both spend time lacquering each other’s claws in complementary colors. 

He watched silently as she applied the gray lacquer to every other claw, making it obvious that she was planning to build some type of two tone effect. “How did you paint your pieces?” she asked as she picked over her colors.

“Oh, my army is painted in a dark blue gray with white accents. Really hard to get right, he let slip out. 

“I see, then we’ll start with a dark blue lacquer,” she grabbed the bottle and began to tint the other claws. Once they were coated she switched back to the grey ones, coating them with a thin coat of bright white, thoroughly changing the color of the claws. She coated the blue ones with a thin coat of grey before switching to a much thinner brush, and that was where the artistry began. 

Orange and blue-gray spots nestled together on the white claws, and white tips and edges further tied the look together on the blue-gray claws.  A clear coat was applied at the end before she turned on a blue light and held it over his claws. “Just sit there a few minutes while I get your bill tallied,” she left him to grab an ancient calculator with paper printing out of it, typing each number with one claw at a time. 

Ten minutes went by and Jeremey couldn’t help but admire his claws. They were shiny, bright, the cracks were well hidden and they gave a lovely clack-clack sound whenever he tapped them. He was surprised that the snapper only charged him for a fill and buff, but when he tried to ask she simply said, “Go land that gator-girl!” she all but shoved him out the door, with an excited cackle.  

@bloobluebloo @standingpillar @doveghost @asordidbarwere @stoneshrike @saphoblin

[rjcopeseethemald]

WIP Questionnaire ±1

To be honest, I keep looking for these as an excuse to talk about my work

This one I got from @illarian-rambling, I wasn't tagged in her post but I accepted the open invitation However, since this is how my mind works, I'll turn this into a game. Updated Rules: 1. Answer as few or as many of the following questions as you'd like! 2. In passing the tag along to others, you can add one question of your own, or replace an existing question.

1. What was the first part of your wip that you created?

The magic system. It took years for the idea to finally click in my head, too. It started when I watched the Terrible Writing Advice on Myths, Legends, and Gods; JP just had to challenge me with "A pantheon of the Periodic Table would be way too big". So I said "Alright, bet", but the idea still wasn't there. Then, I finally began watching ATLA and Breaking Bad (very late to both parties), and then my brain went: "What if... chemistrybending?"

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Probably a more light-hearted version of "Can You Hear The Music" from Oppenheimer.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

Hydrogen, Admiral Wright, and Miilo Saba. Hydrogen is the Elemental of their namesake atom, and I attempted to write them as wholesome and eccentric. I would liken them to a much older and wiser version of the Collector from The Owl House. They also wield a flaming shortsword, and can turn invisible (since hydrogen gas is invisible by default). Admiral Wright is the main antagonist of volume one. She was the first woman (and still only one of two) to be fully commissioned in the Lodinican Republic Navy, and is otherwise known as its toughest commander. Her backstory is a commentary on how simply letting marginalized people into unchanged power structures doesn't change their marginalizing nature. Miilo Saba is the older cousin of the twins Lia and Lioko, and he's the captain of an anarchist smuggler ship. He's mostly light-hearted and laid-back, except in a situation where there's no messing around, in which case he can become deadly serious. Why? To be honest, I picked these three because they were the most engaging for me to write.

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

Likely the animated ones I've mentioned before: ATLA (Legend of Korra included) and The Owl House, plus other animated shows like Steven Universe. The book will include illustrations a la The Chronicles of Narnia, except in an art style that would easily translate to 2-D animation.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Holding myself to the standards of good writing. In particular, character writing and depth of worldbuilding.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

I have sea wyverns, which are about twice as big as an albatross; landback tortoises, which are somewhat of a grounded take on the mythological giant turtle/tortoise trope; and more minor appearances like torpedo-fish (fish that can swim up to 80 knots in short bursts) and taransis, cat-sized Lucas-the-Spiders.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

The equivalent era to our world is the 1910s-early 1920s. There are ocean liners, trains, and horses, and the occasional airship, while cars are still rather new.

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

I am almost done, thank God. I'm planning to take spring quarter off from community college to finish it.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

The novelty of its magical premises and take on the fantasy genre. Perhaps its politics, too, but those are more of a background thing.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

I hope it's as original as I claim it to be! A pipe dream of mine is that the complete series financially sustains me, but I'll just retire to a commune upstate if that doesn't happen.

I will add a question 11: What pieces of media have been the most inspiring to you for this WIP? Passing this along to @serotoninshift, @kaylinalexanderbooks, and @she-who-fights-and-writes if any of you all are interested!

Blanks below:

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

What part of your wip are you working on rn?

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

What are your hopes for your wip?

What pieces of media have been the most inspiring to you for this WIP?

[dascarecrow]

Build The Roster - Injustice 3 (DLC)

And with that we arrive at the conclusion of this Build The Roster project. And we're going to wrap things up with one of the most exciting parts of any fighting game roster. The DLC.

Before we do anything with this we have to determine how many DLC characters there are going to be. Considering Netherrealm Studios has been implementing progressively larger numbers of DLC characters since they started doing such a thing we're going to have to speculate a little on just how many characters are going to get in for post-launch. We'll settle on 15 being the magic number this time, going by the rate of progression we've seen for DLC numbers.

Now that that is out of the way we're going to detour a bit to discuss exactly how the DLC is going to work. With 15 prospective fighters we're going to go with a pattern in regards to who gets in. That is going to be 5 packs of 3 characters with those characters consisting of 1 hero, 1 villain and 1 guest character for each pack.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way let's get on with the actual choices, which are made up of...

Superboy

He's had a prominent role in the extended media for the games and his tactile telekinesis could make for a fascinating moveset.

Metallo

Decided to put another Superman villain in the game and we need a follow up to that stage cameo.

He-Man

There was already an Injustice comic crossover with He-Man so why not put him in a game already. Not to mention the Masters of the Universe property has been on the rise lately.

Donna Troy

Wanted to put one of the Wonder Girls in the game and Donna would give us that.

Deathstroke

If the main five Titans are going to be in the game then we need to bring back the Titans enemy. Plus we need an assassin in the roster.

Reptile

It's basically tradition to have a Mortal Kombat guest character and after Scorpion and Sub-Zero he's the most iconic ninja from that franchise.

Tempest

I like his powers which could become a phenomenal moveset and it gives us another Titan and someone else from Atlantis.

Despero

Basically the same reason as Deathstroke, if the founding seven members of the Justice League are in the game then a Justice League villain would be all too fitting.

Judge Dredd

With Hellboy and Spawn already having been used as DLC before by Netherrealm Judge Dredd is one of the few well known comic book characters that could be seen in an Injustice game.

Doctor Light

Just a personal favorite of mine who has unique light powers that could be fun to see in a fighting game.

Larfleeze

We've had the Sinestro Corps and the Red Lanterns show up so why not complete the trifecta with the Orange Lantern holder Larfleeze?

Space Ghost

Another personal favorite of mine who has a variety of beam-based attacks that would be perfect for a fighting game.

Adam Strange

Just a character that I like and think could be a cool addition to the roster.

Sabbac

Decided to throw in a Shazam enemy. Mostly for being a left field pick that people wouldn't be expecting.

And finally we have...

The Power Rangers!

After the Ninja Turtles got in all the rules went out the window and as a Power Rangers fan I would love to see them join the world of Injustice.

And with that we have reached the end of this Build The Roster. Feel free to read and review and let me know if you agree with my choices or feel different ones should have been made.

[luminalightsverse]

15 questions, 15 people

Rules: answer the questions & tag 15 people

1. Are you named after anyone?

I don't think so but I never asked how I got my name.

2. When was the last time you cried?

A few days ago. But thoes were happy tears. I found pictures of my passed grandmother again that we couldn't find anymore after we moved. I waited about 4-5 years to get them beck so this was a very emotional moment for me... and I can be a crybaby 😅

3. Do you have kids?

Nope and I don't want any

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No, never. Would never use sarcasm. I'm always serious and boring as hell. 🤷‍♀️

5. What is the first thing you notice about people?

Good question, I never paid attention to that... but I think also the eyes... and/or the hair.

6. What’s your eye color?

I think it's called hazel? It's mostly green and brown but also a bit blue/gray or something like that. Once a person told me she could see something golden or honey colored in it but I never saw it myself so idk. What colors one can see best always depends on the light.

7. Scary movies or Happy endings?

Happy ending. Hate Horror movies.

8. Any special talents?

Idk I write poems and other stuff and I often hear that I'm talented at this so I guess writing? I'm also very good at interpreting like poems etc. and I can be really good at talking dependig on the theme and the person I'm talking to.

9. Where were you born?

Germany

10. What are your hobbies?

Listening to music while dancing like crazy and singing along badly, watching series and movies, writing, make up characters and stories, rp, and a bit gaming

11. Do you have any pets?

Not anymore. I once had many. I had mice, dogs, cats, birds, bunnys and two hamsters. We had more animals, but they weren't mine, they were my father's and my brother's animals. These were fish, turtles and degus. But they all already died and one cat I had to leave at my father's house after I moved away with my mother and stepfather.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Many... well I started many but I canceled everything because I'm way too lazy. I was in ballet, gymnastics, dancing and riding... and idk what else. I also did traditional dance of the danube swabians/banat swabians. My family descends from them that's why we were in a club for a while where we also learned those dances.

13. How tall are you?

1,55 m I think this was something between 5′ 1-5′ 2. I'm not sure I never use feet always m or cm.

14. Favorite subject in School?

German, English, Psychology/Pedagogy (both were on subject), theater and of course the breaks

15. Dream job?

Don't really have one, I just want to do something in the field of consulting and organization.

Tagging: @jiabeewrites @kaijusplotch @cc-3636wolffe @its-cody-not-kote @dara-kell @businessbadger @ct3113official @nekotaetae @imrowanartist @anstarwar @paperback-rascal @justalittletomato @blog-o-randomness @jswahaarts @amikoroyaiart

15 questions, 15 people

Rules: answer the questions & tag 15 people

1. Are you named after anyone?

No, I am not!

2. When was the last time you cried?

I have no idea

3. Do you have kids?

No, someday after I’m married I’d like to, but I’m only 19 so I got time.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I’m more sassy than sarcastic but I can be sarcastic

5. What is the first thing you notice about people?

There’s eyes normally.

6. What’s your eye color?

Blue

7. Scary movies or Happy endings?

I don’t watch scary movies so that answers that.

8. Any special talents?

I can play piano but no nothing real exciting.

9. Where were you born?

Cincinnati, Ohio

10. What are your hobbies?

Cosplaying/leading worship

11. Do you have any pets?

2 Soft coated Wheaton terriers/ Lily is my girl (left) rosy is my sisters (right)

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I’ve been a cheerleader before but that’s about it.

13. How tall are you?

5’9”-5’10” I don’t know the exact height

14. Favorite subject in School?

History or lunch 😂

15. Dream job?

Worship leader (oh wait, I’m already doing that)

Tagging: @oldmanwithashield, @accidental-spice, @possible-cryptid, @zephyrmonkey, @girlzrok-archive, @locitapurplepink, @basketball-broadway, @starry-voids, @beth-is-rainpaint, @dannyboy-and-quake, @drama-is-my-second-name, @aesira-of-orion, @aeterna-auroral-avenger, @askthewasp, and @maddies-marvel-muses

[bakubub]

favourite time of year

w/c: 1.2k

written for @kal0psi-a 's halloween collab

folding the sticky dough carefully, just as the recipe instructed, i try my best to ignore the itching in my nose in a feeble attempt to stay concentrated, but give up when it starts to irritate my eyes.

"eughh, because of you there's flour in my nose," i complain to my boyfriend, who has his chin hooked over my shoulder and very heavily leaning over me.

"hey, don't complain! have you seen my hair?" he asks, stretching his neck to show me. sure enough, his hair is more white than it is black. i rake my hand through it before he can say anything, my dough covered hands clumping his hair together as an avalanche of flour sprinkles all over my chest.

he screeches, jumping back from me and i quickly use this chance to start running, because based on previous incidents, there's a 90% chance he will chase me relentlessly.

his cough from across the kitchen halts my escape plan, "are you happy now? i have flour in my nose too," he complains.

i watch in amusement as a cloud of flour puffs around him in the shape of a mushroom as he sneezes heavily, looking quite literally like a cartoon character and quickly near him to snap a picture. this will do nicely for the autumn section in this year's album.

since we started dating, tetsuro and i have been taking photos of one another, which we organise into albums by year, separated by season. it started when he gave me an album on our first anniversary, now, 6 years later and married, putting together an album of the past year has become tradition. each season we do an activity that correlates with the vibe, and today, we're making pumpkin pie with halloween shape indents because really, what else comes to mind when you think of fall?

i laugh loudly at the photo i took, his face caught mid sneeze, and it seems to flick the switch deep within tetsuro that i thought i had flicked earlier, and his feline gaze snaps to mine, before lurching forward in an attempt to catch me. i move just in the nick of time and run to the other side of the bench. he chases me until we're playing cat and mouse around the bench like children, slowly stalking one another as the other makes it as though they're backtracking but running forward instead.

"give up, wicked witch!" he exclaims, putting his right hand on his heart and holding the other outwards as he closes his eyes, apparently overwhelmed with emotion, "it is i, prince tetsu-" in the midst of his theatrics, i move in for the kill. his need for dramatics is most definitely his achille's heel, i think as i stab him in the hip with my fingers, and he yelps, opening his eyes only to find the mouse catching the cat.

"and the wicked witch of fall wins!" i yell, jumping up and down, getting flour all over the hardwood floors.

"fine, this round goes to you. your reward? a magical kiss from your prince charming," he says, leaning in and halting my celebration.

"the prince kisses the witch? haven't heard this fairy-tale before," i mutter before he silences me by placing a soft but unhurried kiss on my lips. my hands automatically make their way around his neck, and i lean back slightly as his hands firmly hold my waist, providing protection and support even in a moment as miniscule as this. in the glow of the autumn sunset, painting our kitchen with a golden hue, with the man i love in front of me, everything is perfect. we break off, his forehead leaning on mine, neither of us moving away.

"this is our fairy-tale, with its own happy ending."

looking up, I'm met with his golden brown stare, the small specks of gold especially visible in this lighting, practically glowing. his white turtle neck hugging his form nicely, and his raven hair sprinkled with flour, i can't help but wonder if this is what we're going to be like in the future, when we've lived our lives, and grown old together; the only indication of our age being the salt and pepper hair, and the slightly more prominent lines around our eyes from spending a lifetime of smiling.

because that's how it would be, i think, to have tetsuro next to me for eternity, to smile and to laugh every day.

he has to kneel down considerably to reach my lips with his own, to rest his forehead on mine, but the look on his face and the emotion in his familiar, beautiful eyes reflect nothing but comfort and content, genuine even as he says stupid and cliché things. in a way, he’s promising me nothing but a life full of the music of our happiness.

"i love you, witch," he whispers, as if afraid to ruin the moment by speaking.

i kiss him again, before pulling out my secret weapon and dumping more flour over his head. "love you too, prince!" i screech as i run away. i hear his chuckles as he chases after me, muttering empty promises of revenge just as he did before, and every other time, and hopefully, if my luck holds out, every time after.

---

"okay, nod gonna lie, dis ith really goo-dh" i say, speaking with a mouth full of the pumpkin pie we finally got around to baking.

i watch him snap a photo of me, smiling through my full mouth, knowing full well i have pie all over my mouth and teeth.

“you’ve never looked better, babe,” he says, chuckling, before trying it himself, moaning through his full mouth, "oh mhy gohd." i roll my eyes as he continues, "baby, thth is fudding amathing," he says, taking another, and then another bite.

“slow it down, moron. you’re going to choke and the wicked witch is going to have to ruin her comfy position to give you the heimlich,” i say, my legs crossed on the carpeted floor with my feet nice and warm in my thick panda bear socks.

“how abouth we sthip straighd to the kith of life?” he asks, wiggling his eyebrows with a mouth full of pie.

"how about you shuffle the cards, prince? i'll pick a movie," i suggest, or rather order, raising my brows. he salutes sarcastically as he sets down his plate and goes to get our worn out deck of uno cards.

"i thought you were a witch, not a princess," he mutters once he swallows his pie.

"actually, i married the prince so that legally makes me a princess. c'mon tetsuro," i say, pressing play on a random comedy to play in the background.

with the fireplace going under the television, and our pumpkin spice and cinnamon candles lit, the room is cozy, warm and calm.

that is until tetsuro yells his profanities about me placing a 2+ on his 4+.

"THAT'S NOT ALLOWED! YOU CAN ONLY PLACE A 4+ ON TOP OF A 4+"

"since WHEN?! THIS WASN'T THE RULE LAST WEEK!" i scream back, refusing to back down. i am not picking up four cards. "i would never cheat. unlike YOU," i accuse, shoving another fork full of the pie into my mouth in defiance.

he dramatically gasps shoving a fork full of pie into his own mouth, and glares at me. i glare right back, both of us wordlessly agreeing that whoever loses the staring competition loses the uno argument. ignoring the burning in my eyes, i keep my expression neutral as i watch the tears building up in tetsuro's lashline, his right eye twitching and turning slightly red.

"YES!" i scream as he blinks, wiping his eyes and sighing dramatically before beginning to pick up six cards, unable to come up with an excuse.

i laugh mercilessly and we continue the game, which i ended up winning after he picked up another 12 cards, flashing me the 'please have mercy on me' eyes every time he reached for the deck.

"you really are a wicked little witch aren't you?" he mutters as he gets up. i snort in response, eating the last of my pie.

"i wanna another slice," he announces. "you want?" nodding eagerly, i give him my plate.

"i want a slice with a bat," i call out, referring to the misshapen shapes we cut out on the top layer of the pie.

when he came back, he halted at the door as he silently watches me set up face masks and mani-pedi equipment on the coffee table, the entire pie tray with two forks, instead of two slices, in his hands. i raised my eyebrows, and he mirrors my expression towards my makeshift salon on the floor of our living room.

we both shrug and he comes and sits next to me, picking up a face mask packet and reading the description.

"ooh! aloe vera!"

that's how we ended up watching shitty comedies all night with white face masks on and stomachs stuffed with pie.

---

laying in bed my head resting on tetsuro's shoulder and my hand rhythmically stroking his hair, i bask in the feeling of comfort and my mind being stress free. shielded from the cold night with a million blankets and the massive man sleeping next to me, with my especially cold, numb feet tucked under his thigh, i match my breathing with his easily as i follow after him into a deep slumber.

because that's what the season of autumn is about, really. taking it easy after the adventurous months that were spring and summer, to rewind and become a home-bug again as the weather cools down. and these moments with tetsuro?

these moments are what makes this my favourite time of year.

ahhh this was so, so fun!! special thanks to @/kal0psi-a for organising this entire collab <3

[gerrypleasedefaultme]

Tagged by @tam-is-blogging!! tysm!!

Rules: answer 10 questions and tag 10 people you want to know better!

Relationship status: Single

Favorite color: Blue. Like a baby/light blue

Three favorite foods: Honestly, I'm not sure. I like pulled pork and chicken and maybe just like good bread. Like the kind you buy that comes in the lil paper bag that you can just bite

Song stuck in my head: Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland but only the, "It's okay, it's alright, I got something that you gon' like." part

Last thing I listened to: A voice recording of myself talking about the Zootopia movie

Last thing I googled: mitch marner home game so I could see the Leafs home and away colors

Time: 3:20 AM

Dream trip: I'd like to go some place outside the US or maybe like Washington DC just to see what's there and visit my cousin. Or maybe go on like a scenic drive that's really well known around the US just bc of how pretty they are.

Anything I really want: I want the Leafs to win the cup like in the next three years or so, I feel like maybe it'll heal their 50+ years without a cup curse. I also want to do my makeup for school one of these days, I feel like it'd be cute.

Currently reading: Sandy Koufax: A Lefty's Legacy by Jane Leavy and fanfiction. Also What's the T? by Juno Dawson.

Last song: How Do U Want It? by Tupac Shakur

Last movie: Zootopia on the bus on the way to competition with a friend of mine

Last series: It's been a while honestly. I think it may have been Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Sweet, savoury, spicy: A mix of sweet and savoury

Currently working on: A fic I'm writing and my lesson plan for my teaching class

Craving: Sugar free powerade for some reason and kettle corn

Tea or coffee: Tea

Anyone can participate if they want to!! I won't tag anyone specifically but tysm for tagging me!!

Tagged by @alipeeps! Thanks so much.

Rules: answer 10 questions and tag 10 people you want to know better

Relationship status: Married

Favourite colour: yellow. It makes me think of sunshine and sunflowers.

Three favourite foods: croissants, sushi, Mediterranean cuisine

Song stuck in my head: Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift (thanks, Roger Federer IG post)

Last thing I listened to: my coworkers talking during my last Zoom meeting

Last thing I googled: menu of a nearby restaurant

Time: 1:56PM

Dream trip: trekking around Europe with my husband and kids, maybe Germany-Austria-Switzerland or France-Belgium-Netherlands. 

Anything I really want: more quality Fedal content, either fictional or in real life. And for Andy and Rafa to be healthy and for Roger to continue living his best life. Oh, wait, you mean in real life? For myself I want this personal medical thing to turn out well, fingers crossed; my kids to grow up into good people; and me and my husband to grow into that cute old couple that holds hands on park benches.

Currently reading: nothing, I don’t have time to read books. (And yet I somehow find time to read 40K+ word fanfics)

Last song: Anti-Hero by Taylor Swift

Last movie: Top Gun: Maverick

Last series: BBC Ghosts. Only the first 4 episodes, but they were great!

Sweet, savoury, or spicy: sweeeeeeeeeet

Currently working on: 6K words into a Fedal A/B/O fic. Yeah….I’ve reached that circle of fandom hell. 

Craving: Korean tofu soup. I got it for lunch, yay!

Tea or coffee: neither, I can’t do caffeine. Ginger tea when you’re sick does wonders, though.

Tagging @zingaplanet, @bluskype, @tam-is-blogging, @aliceinqueensland, @a-swiss-and-a-spaniard, @janerurlife, @bluespring864, @pearandalmondtart, @roscoespaws, @deirdremayfair

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Imagine flirting with Azula constantly because you have a crush on her and love making her blush until one day Azula decides to call your bluff and flirt back...

You’d liked Azula from the moment you’d been put in the same sparing class as children. She was just the smartest, most determined person you’d ever met and a beautiful princess too. You were smitten, but telling Azula was out of the question and so as you started spending more time with Azula, Mai and Ty lee you had to find an outlet for all those emotions and you chose flirting. You were quite a cheesy person, you never missed the chance for a sickly sweet line or compliment so it managed to mask your crush quite well. You flirted with all of your friends, partly to cover your back but also because you liked their reactions. When you flirted with Ty lee she'd laugh adorably. When you flirted with Mai she'd roll her eyes and give you her signature death glare but Azula’s reaction was your favourite. For the girl who was prepared for everything she still didn't know how to take compliments, especially if they were mixed with flirting. Every time you flirted with her, Azula would blush and you found it amazing. Even if it was just tucking a piece of hair out of her face or a comment when you were sparring and very close together, Azula would blush and lose focus for a second and you thought it was the most adorable thing in the fire nation. Forget the turtle ducks, Azula blushing and becoming awkward made you melt. Of course you didn’t flirt with her constantly, you we’re worried to push Azula too far, not to mention half the fun was catching Azula off guard. Not knowing where the next one would come from and the suprise when it did was what made her blush. So you spent a lot of your time lost in thought about Azula and your secret self appointed mission to make her blush as much as you could get away with.

As luck would have it Azula invited you to go on a holiday to Ember Islands with Mai, Tylee and Zuko and you jumped at the chance thinking of all the fun situations you could get into. Not wasting any time, the minute you stepped onto the island you started teasing Azula. You walked into the villa beside her and looked around the room."Bagsie this bed!" you cried rushing forwards and jumping on the biggest one. "No fair" Ty lee frowned and you just smirked back at her. "You can’t have that one that’s mine" Azula said stiffly coming to stand infront of you, hands on her hips. You smirked up at her as the line formed in your head. "I’m more than willing to share if you are?" you asked with suggestive grin. Azula went bright red, Li and Lo being just outside the room, and you smiled "so is that a yes...". Azula walked away quickly and you smirked jumping up from the bed and following.

At the beach you didn’t let up either, you and Azula ended up sat together across for Ty lee who had an army of men around her. Azula glared after Ty lee and you watched her growing anger amusedly. "She’s so embarassing" Azula hissed aggressively applying sunscreen "and Mai and Zuko huddled together aren’t much better". "Aw leave them be they’re cute, you just need to relax". Azula raised an eyebrow unimpressed and you saw the opportunity. "Want me to do your back?" you asked nodding to her suncream “i’ve been told I’m very good at it”. Azula blushed and looked away "no i’m perfectly capable of doing that myself". You smirked laying down "sure, i mean no human can actually bend their arms backwards to fully reach all their back but hey i’ve seen you do many impossible things so i have faith in you" and winked before closing your eyes. You heard azula tut and your smirk grew.

Your day at the beach unsuprisingly drew attention and Ty lee got you all invited to a party. You were excited, the capital hardly ever had parties and never ones thrown by teenagers. You got ready rapidly, just so excited to get there, but had to wait for the others. Mai and Ty lee appeared not long after you but time passed and still you were waiting. Unsuprisingly the royals, with nobody here to dress them, seemed to be having problems. Zuko appeared first and a while after him Azula emerged. “About time” Zuko complained and Azula rolled her eyes “now now Zuzu, someone would think you actually wanted to go to this party”. She looked around and her eyes landed on you. You’d never seen Azula like this before and knew you were staring. She looked stunning, her hair mostly down, her face lacking any makeup just showing the tan she’d got today, she made it look effortless. "What?" Azula asked seeing you look at her and you shook your head "nothing you just look really beautiful". Azula blushed and looked away figuring it was just another one of your jokes but it wasn’t, you were deadly serious. Azula was the most beautiful woman you’d ever seen.

Azula’s POV

Unsuprisingly Azula was not enjoying the party. The teenagers were loud, messy and she struggled to relate to them on anything. This realisation made her even angrier as she saw you, Ty lee and even Mai had no problems talking to the locals. Ty lee had been swamped by men, Mai had some guy rushing over to her whenever Zuko left her side and you were amusing a group of teens with some story she’d never heard before. Azula glared watching the other teenagers looking at you when she realised she wasn’t alone. 'What you staring at?" Ty lee asked and Azula darted her eyes away you.

Azula didn’t hate the flirting or even dislike it, it was more the opposite but she just didn’t know what to do with the emotions you gave her. So naturally she repressed them but they had a way of coming back up. Like now, you’d been pretty flirty all trip and Azula had been annoyed at how that put her on edge, not in a bad way just Azula liked to have all her emotions under control but with you that was hard. Now watching you chatting with attractive men and women, Azula recognised a new emotion, she was jealous. She liked the attention you paid her, you were the only person who had ever made her feel desirable, like she was a person worth liking. People fawned over Zuko her whole life, but only you had ever chosen her and only her, it made her feel special. She also liked your confidence with her, your daring to flirt with her and she definitely didn’t like watching you flirt with someone else. But she couldn’t tell Ty lee that.

"Nothing" Azula snapped folding her arms tightly. "Wow y/n seems popular" Ty lee smiled obliviously. Azula glared, she wanted your attention, she wanted you to leave those people and focus on her. But Azula didn’t know how to do that, there was no way she could just tell you how she felt, that was preposterous. So Azula decided to play a game instead.

Your POV

You were talking to some supringly not annoying fire nation teens and enjoying yourself when someone appeared next to Chan, the boy beside you. A girl called his name softly and tapped his shoulder. You did a double take when you realised it was Azula. "I still haven’t had a tour of the house" she smiled at him sweetly and you blinked. 

Was Azula flirting?

That was something she knew how to do? 

Since when?

Chan was just as impressed and smiled at her "sure come on" and led her away. You stared after her amazed and jumped when she looked back at you a smirk on her lips. You had no idea what Azula was doing or how it involved you but something told you that you’d find out soon enough.

Ever impatient, you turned back to your new friends but struggled to get back into the conversation.You couldn’t help but wonder where Azula and Chan were or what her smirk to you had meant. There was only one way to find out and so you excused yourself from the group and decided to look for her. You wandered the party, nodding to Ty lee and Mai but still saw no sign of Azula. After a thorough search of the upstairs you sighed convinced she’d vanished when you saw someone open the balcony doors. You didn’t know there was a balcony. You walked towards it and stepped outside. You spotted Azula down the far end with Chan and froze, did she have a hand on his arm? Chan certainly looked pleased with the situation but you were not. Not thinking about how annoyed Azula would be to be interrupted, or your rule of not provoking her unwisely, you walked down the balcony to them. "Chan?" You called knowing you’d have to outsmart Azula and quickly to get rid of this boy. You we’re searching your brain for a plausible excuse when you heard a smash and smiled, "Someones broken your dad’s vase". "No!" Chan cried and practically ran past you. Azula watched him go and her eyes fell on you "that was convenient". "I saw the fight coming" you lied shrugging and turned to go back inside. "So you send away my company and then intend to leave me alone? I don’t think so" Azula declared "you will stay here with me y/n". You smirked at her authoritative tone and shrugged coming to stand beside her "you make it sound like i’m not desperate to be around you" you smirked but this time Azula didn’t blush. She just stared at you, not replying, she seemed to be studying you intensely. It was unnerving and made you blush instead.

This was new.

You stared at your hands and let silence settle, you should say something to diffuse the tension but didn’t know what to say. Azula didn’t seem to want the conversation to change though. "If you’re so desperate to be around me then prove it" Azula said simply ending the brief silence. You looked at her confused "what?". "You've been dropping hints for years of your infatuation for me, this trip you’ve taken 4 opportunities today alone to flirt with me, so prove it, put your money where your mouth is" she said simply. Azula had turned to face you fully and it was intimidating. Having your crush telling you to do what you’d been joking about for years. "I....i..." you stammered and Azula smiled slowly. "I knew it" she smiled "you talk a pretty big talk but you’re too scared to make the first move aren’t you?". You blushed and hesitated to response, you didn’t want to agree but she was correct. "Don't worry y/n your nerves wont be a problem" she smiled sweetly at you. You looked at her confused "i don’t understand" but Azula seemed to have everything sorted. "You will soon" she replied before kissing you. The contact made you jump and the fact it was Azula was almost imobilising. You never imagined someone like Azula would return your affection but here she was kissing you. You were so shocked you didn’t retaliate and Azula seperated from you briefly "come on y/n i can’t do all the work" she smirked. Although you felt like you’d been liquified her smirk made you want to kiss her, even if this was most likely a hallucination caused by heat stroke, so you did. Azula laughed as she felt you kiss her back and rushed to establish dominance. You didn’t let her take it easily, after all your years of sparring you knew how to out manouver Azula and she you, so the battle was a long one but eventually Azula won. You sighed as she pulled away and blushed to see Azula looking at you how she was right now. "Well that was nice" Azula smiled fiddling with a piece of your hair "we'll be doing that more often" and she walked away.

You stumbled back into the party in a daze and Ty lee appeared. “There you are! Mai wants to leave she’s waiting outside”. You nodded and walked outside, still feeling tingly from where Azula kissed you. Ty lee chattered on the way home but you didn’t reply too caught up in what had just happened. When you arrived back home Mai frowned “okay what’s wrong with you?”. “Me?” you asked realising she was staring at you “nothing i’m...” you blushed and smirked “perfect”. “Oh my god what happened! Who did you kiss!” Ty lee cried and when your blush deepend Mai grabbed your arm “you didn’t! Who?”. “You wouldn’t believe me even if i told you” you grinned and Mai gripped your arm tighter “you’re not going anywhere until you tell us”. Ty lee nodded “yes y/n, that’s an order”.  You laughed and blushed even more, you looked around to make sure you were alone. “Azula” you said and waited for the gasps of suprise but there weren’t any.  "It’s about time" Mai cried "god the tension between the two of you". "Wait...you guys knew she liked me?". "Duh!" Ty lee and Mai said at the same time. "Y/n how did you not? You openly flirted with Azula! Azula!!! And she didn’t kill you". You shrugged at the fair point "i guess i just figured my charm was too effective and Azula was embarrassed to admit that". Mai raised an eyebrow "no your flirting skills are awful she didn’t kill you because she liked it". "Ow" you mumbled blushing and Ty lee laughed hugging you "this is so great! You guys are perfect for each other".

"Who’s perfect for each other?" Zuko asked appearing and you all froze. 

"I believe they were talking about me and y/n brother" Azula called out entering  behind him "i mean i can only imagine after that kiss i’m all y/n can think about". You went bright red and Zuko frowned "you know as your brother you really don’t need to tell me things like that". Azula’s eyes flickered to Zuko in annoyance before landing on you and the blush on your cheeks. Azula smirked examining your reaction. She saw why you flirted with her so much, seeing you blush and squirm under he gaze was very enjoyable. Now she knew the effect it had on you, Azula was going to be doing it to you a lot more often....

____

All my Azula imagines are always soppy so I wanted to write something a bit more fun and happy for Azula...but this confident and skilled at flirting Azula would actually kill me though 😅 . 

[finiteuniverse13]

Bravo's Banned List

With the help of @bravo-four-seal-team, @@jayhalsteadfan-2417 and @rebelwrites, we made a list.

A list, posted on various walls throughout the Naval base, the plane and the cage room. About 1/3 of it is typed up, the rest is in hastily written pen. Made by Blackburn to try and corral Bravo. It's doing its best.

Tag: @rebelwrites @chibsytelford @bravo-four-seal-team @velvetcardiganbucky @supervalcsi @abby-splace @itsonautopilot @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @pinkrockstar19 @softi92 @mrsmarvelous1995 @jayhalsteadfan-2417

Just so you're all aware, this is a 6.5-page document.

0: On the days of Adam and Swanny’s Death, leave the group be to remember them. I will not protect you.

1: Brock Is Not Allowed Coffee. No exceptions.

1.1: Do not leave Metal alone with Brock when Coffee is around.

2: Dick jokes are not required in briefings

3: If a single one of you bastards get between me and my coffee, we will be having issues

5: You made the dog sad; you die.

8: DO NOT GIVE THEM NERF GUNS

9: WHO THE HELL GAVE THEM WATER GUNS

9.1: STICKS DO NOT GIVE THEM STICKS THEY WILL PRETEND THEY ARE GUNS

10: Dirt bikes (don’t ask)

11: ARCHERY IS A BIG NO

12: FISHING. WHY AM I BANNING FISHING

13: Fire. That is all

14: KNIVES. WHY ARE YOU GIVING THEM KNIVES?

15: LADDERS (NEVER AGAIN)

16: PLASTIC CUTLERY ONLY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES GIVE THEM METAL CUTLERY

16.1: Scratch that, they stab people with the metal cutlery. Let them suffer the consequences of their actions. They can eat with their hands.

17: MEMES ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE MEETING ROOM

18: Horse riding. (METAL IT IS NOT A TACTICAL DISMOUNT ITS CALLED FALLING AND GETTING A CONCUSSION)

19: BOY BANDS (not allowed to be played on the plane)

19.1: GIRL BANDS (for the love of god, they will try and imitate them)

19.2 RAP MUSIC (they think they are the next Eminem and will make your ears bleed)

20: Do not tell Jason he is not allowed to do something. He finds a way to do it

20.1: Apparently Ray will do the exact same without question

21: Do not leave any members of the team with upper brass. (How did you make an Admiral with years of combat CRY!)

22: Clay is under Jason’s protection don’t go after him they will not find your body

22.1: If Clay calls Jason dad just leave it ok

22.2: Actually, check on Jason, he’s been standing staring for the past hour now

23: Hairdryers are banned (HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR BEARD CAUGHT SONNY)

24: Only Trent is allowed to call Metal by his legal first name. Ensign Williams learnt that one the hard way.

25: Paintball is banned from the base the last time it was extreme and got violent

26: The transformers movies because clay tried to do a stunt it ended badly

27: Thumbtacks apparently

28: Any Marvel movie (Jason you’re not Captain America)

28.1: DC movies are out as well

28.2: Disney Princess movies as well (don’t ask)

30: Do not leave phone unlocked around Sonny, he will not hesitate to change everything

36: DO NOT LET THEM GET SO DRUNK THEY START SINGING. IF I HEAR IN THE NAVY ONE MORE TIME, I WON'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS

37: IF THERE IS SILENCE DROP EVERYTHING AND START HUNTING AND PANICKING

38: Grenade launchers are not required for every mission Trent

39: WHO GAVE METAL A SWORD

42: Yes, Clay does know an Admiral by name. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to.

45: If Clay starts angrily ranting in a foreign language, don't worry. He's thinking out loud, not plotting to destroy the base

45.1: If Clay is calmly talking in a foreign language just back away slowly

48: SpongeBob is a Bad Idea because they are way too Annoying and make References (I’m looking at you, Clay)

52: Sharpies. When I find whoever gave me this sharpie tattoo sleeve, there will be hell to pay

56: DO NOT LET CLAY HAVE A GRIMM REAPER OUTFIT! THIS IS THE THIRD TIME HES NEARLY GIVEN SONNY AND TRENT A HEART ATTACK AT 3 AM

57: Red paint. I went to check something at 3 am and Clay was painting a satanic ritual on the floor

58: 3 am checks are a bad idea. (I have seen things, people!)

62: Explosives are to be locked away when not on mission Sonny and Clay will try and play catch with a live homewrecker

62.1: I expected Metal as a Master Chief to know better - he falls under the same rule as Clay and Sonny.

63: Don't wake Clay when he is sleeping back away slowly and leave the room

64: If I'm sleeping, back away and leave the room. Interrupt me if they've broken a rule, or if the base is actively being bombed. If not, I don't care.

65: Have multiple phone chargers or they will disappear and you’re not getting them back

68: If you call Clay anything other than a nickname expect to get punched or stabbed or sniped in the ass when least expected

68.1: Metal will stab you. Please remember he has a shovel and lye in his truck (WHY DO YOU HAVE IT)

68.2: Don't try to take the shovel and lye off of Metal

69: NEVER say the number 69 around them they are all immature children and expect tongue in cheek comments

70: NEVER interrupt Sonny when he is eating breakfast, he is grumpy in the morning

72: If they are all asleep make no sound - YOU WAKE THEM THEY ARE YOUR PROBLEM NOT MINE

73: For the love of god, stop giving Clay earth mineral nicknames. This is the third time this week I've watched Sonny empty limestone dust from his pack

75: Do not give them hammers! What is wrong with you people?

79: Do Not talk to Trent unless it’s after 2 coffees

83: For the love of god, don't ask Metal if he ever did nude modelling in art school. He will begin stripping, literally anywhere

91: Cerberus is a good boy and you hurt Brock you die

98: Super Glue (never again)

99: MY COFFEE IS OFF LIMITS WHOEVER PUT SALT IN IT WILL PAY

100: Do not give in to their peer pressure while they are drunk, I will not be doing it again

100.1: WHY AM I HEARING IN THE NAVY AGAIN?!

100.2: Sweet Caroline won't work twice

100.3: WHY ARE YOU SINGING BARBIE

100.4: SONNY, CLAY IS NOT A BARBIE GIRL

103: Don't tell Sonny he looks good in pink because you better believe he will keep wearing it (and probably some girl clothes too) to keep getting compliments

114: I ALREADY WROTE SUPER GLUE WHY DO I NEED TO WRITE IT AGAIN

115: HAIR DYE (Why did you dye Metal and Trent’s hair pink?!)

115.1: Face paint (Sonny, their faces did not need to match their hair)

116: Do NOT touch Clay, Charlie team learnt that, and someone ended up nearly losing a finger. (And it wasn’t because of the dog)

117: If they offer you a drink whilst smirking DO NOT take it

118: Sea shanties – if I hear one more SEA SHANTY while we are FLYING

119: If you hear someone shout incoming, run, it’s not an attack, it is Bravo, someone has done something and they’re coming to tell me

120: Vegemite is not allowed in the base after Jason let Clay eat it

121: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (JASON I DONT CARE IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO ACT LIKE LEO IT WAS A BAD MOVE)

122: Hawaii 5-0, if I hear one more thing about how we should hang people of the rook of buildings I am going to shoot someone

124: Mortal Kombat (Clay was acting like Scorpion for a month)

130: Itching Powder (looking at you Brock)

131: DO NOT TOUCH JASONS TOMATOES - you will get a bamboo cane jammed into your thigh

134: Capes - YOU ARE NOT SUPERMAN CLAY STOP PRETENDING YOU CAN FLY BY JUMPING OFF THE HOOCHES

134.1: Edna Mode said NO CAPES - I EXPECT NO CAPES WORN BY ANYONE ON MY TEAM

138: Laser Tag is fun until someone gets hurt (Sonny and Clay you know what happened)

138.1: Laser Tag! (Ray needed to go to the hospital guys, come on)

143: Basketball. My nose will never be straight again.

144: Bravo and Ice skates don’t mix (the only person good on them is Jason but no other member of Bravo is allowed on the ice again)

144.1: Same goes for rollerblades

145: Ash Spencer is not allowed to be alone with Clay (Jason punched him last time he was on base)

145.1: Do not leave Jason, Metal or Sonny alone with Ash Spenser, it’s going to end up with a murder charge.

146: Clay is Jason’s adopted kid and needs to be supervised when Jason is away

151: SLIME - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT GIVE THEM SLIME

152: GLITTER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

153: SCISSORS - Jase cut a chunk of Clay’s hair in the night now the base is a war zone

153.1: DONT FUCK WITH COVERBOY'S HAIR see point 68 for consequences

154: NAIR (why do you even have it?)

156: Call Of Duty (Clay must be supervised when playing it)

157: Do Not leave Clay unattended with Metal (They are both recovering from the ONE CHIP/DEATH CHIP Challenge)

158: Marshmallows (don’t ask)

163: The Hunger Games (are not a good training exercise)

164: The Olympus Has Fallen movies are not allowed to be mentioned in any given time)

173: If you mention the word ice-cream just run, run for your life

176: If I am sleeping STOP THROWING PAPER AT ME

177: Yelling FOR NARNIA is not an appropriate battle cry

178: The Fast And Furious movies (Clay you are not Brian so stop)

182: Nap time is important if their asleep do something else but if you wake them run like hell

190: Any movies about WAR are BANNED (I need a drink to talk about that one)

200 (From Bravo): Blackburn isn't allowed any more paper

200.1 (From Bravo): or pens

200.2: (Blackburn) Handcuffs. They handcuffed me to my desk and wrote that

200.3 (Blackburn): Bravo will not be allowed to tell their Commanding Officer what to do

202: Who keeps giving them superglue? This is the 8th time we are having to unglue Sonny and Clay’s hands

203: Do not let any of them take point on Briefing EVER

205: Are you serious? Paperclips! Do not give them PAPERCLIPS

206: Leaving anyone unattended with fire is a bad idea - I can still smell burning

210: This is Sparta (Jason don't kick people off the roof)

210.1: JASON I SAID NO KICKING PEOPLE YOU DONT LIKE OFF THE ROOF

213: Ash Spenser is not allowed on base. DEVGRU heard about what kind of dad he is, and now its kill-on-sight

213.1: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ASH BEING ON BASE

214: Puppy dog eyes because Clay has been using them on anyone to get out of doing paperwork

215: RAY STOP DOING JASONS PAPERWORK

216: GO TO A HOSPITAL IF INJURED, TRENT HAS A LIFE OUTSIDE OF YOU LOT

217: THE GLEE CAST SOUNDTRACK IS NOT TO BE USED ON THE BASE

218: DO NOT PUT LION KING ON - they will cry like babies and there’s no consoling them over Mufasa

220: If I have to explain why BRAVO will not be joining teaching GREEN TEAM please see rule 1 and understand from that then ask the Green Team Instructor. (Brock terrified them by running the O Course in 30 minutes, all because someone gave him coffee)

220.1: And yes, that is the on the 50-minute-record O course. The time hasn’t been counted since it involved performance-enhancing substances

221: WHO THE HELL INTRODUCED THEM TO FROZEN

221.1 NO I DONT WANT TO BUILD A BLOODY SNOWMAN

221.2: WE WERE DEPLOYED TO SERBIA YOU BASTARDS

222: Gray’s anatomy (That is all)

227: VAPES - YOU DONT SMOKE AND ARE NOT PUFF THE MAGIC FUCKING DRAGON (clay I’m looking at you)

228: HATS ARE NOT ALLOWED IN BRIEFINGS (Sonny you know what you did)

229: MAGIC MIKE AND MAGIC MIKE XXL (still haunts my dreams)

233: I am begging you can you please BE NICE TO THE FLEET ADMIRAL (it's the 3rd time he's left in tears)

234: Chocolate - just run ok

235: Please stop re-enacting the screen from titanic when we are on a boat (I’m looking at you Brock)

235: PIZZA NIGHT IS A FREE FOR ALL AND IF YOU DONT WANT A BROKEN NOSE JUST BACK AWAY

236: Jokes. JOKES ARE BANNED - IF I NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY I WON'T BE HAPPY – NO ITS NOT FINE TO JOKE ABOUT THE FACT YOU HAVE BEEN STABBED CLAY

236.1: STAB WOUNDS ARE NOT ADDITIONAL POCKETS

237: Monopoly got violent last time and Jason got punched

237.1: In fact, any board games turn violent even snakes and ladders

237.2: Board games. Just please stop playing board games

240: Why am I revisiting the nerf guns people? IT WAS A FAMILY BARBECUE! (You lot need to learn to let your kids win!)

241: Brock is banned from Cooking - I do not want food poisoning again

244: WE DO NOT NEED A FLASH MOB EVERY TIME DONT STOP MOVING BY SCLUB 7 COMES ON

246: If they pass out around the fire pit for the love of god move them Clay and Sonny tend to like melting the sole of their boots on the flames even when passed out

251: Plastic cups only (this rule is to stop sonny from smashing them)

254: Why am I needing to revisit Sharpies? They aren’t allowed them, give them Crayola's or crayons

254.1: Scrap that YOU CAN’T EAT THE CRAYONS

256: Clay you are not Spiderman get off the walls

257: WHO GAVE COFFEE TO BROCK!!

257.1: THIS IS RULE ONE ON THE LIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

258: Don't mention Hawaii five 0 just don't

258.1: They will attempt the intro to it, it’s just painful

259: Don't mention Harry Potter because they will all cry over different characters deaths

287: Soup is now banned (Ray. I honestly thought you were the normal one of the team. I am disappointed)

321: If you see Clay and Sonny cuddling just walk away, pretend you didn’t see anything, one of them had a bad day and the other is the only one they will confine in

322: Don't mention the Philippines or India just don't

330: If Metal and Trent are talking, just leave them be. (No one wants to know if Metal is yelling about something stupid Trent did)

331: Popcorn is not allowed on base it ended up in everyone's gear

342: Non-Aerosol Deodorant. (Two of them tried to eat it before realising it wasn't edible)

344: Aerosol Deodorant. (Metal and Sonny used it with lighters. to create a flamethrower)

344.1: Side note LIGHTERS ARE BAD

345: Headphones. DO NOT ASK

346: Rubber bands are not slingshots

FINAL NOTE: FROM BRAVO - BLACKBURN LOVES US REALLY PLEASE IGNORE THE ABOVE LIST ITS ALL LIES

[pietropatrol]

Marvel High (Part 4)

Read Part 3

A/N: Happy Fic Fri--Saturday! Had this most of the way written up yesterday, but my daughter has not been going down at her bedtime very well so I didn’t get it done before bed! But here I am now, posting as my husband is now trying to get her to go back to sleep. Babies, I tell yah.

Welcome to Marvel High, where being the new kid wasn’t the worst. Your homeroom couldn’t be weirder though; your teacher wears an eye patch and is always shouting for some reason, and a group of dysfunctional teens calling themselves the “Avengers.” Probably the weirdest thing is their insistence that you join.

Pairing: Pietro x Reader Warnings: language, sexual innuendos, teenage substance abuse Words: 1,300ish

The dynamic of the group was odd to witness. They all had drastically different personalities, something you had already gleaned from the bickering during the school day, but under the influence of alcohol, it became even more obvious. It was as if the group was comprised of smaller groups. 

The Maximoff twins were obvious. Natasha and Clint were a pair, that you were sure of. The way they shadowed each other and communicated in their body language was hard to ignore. Either they had been friends for a long time or something was going on between them. Though you felt it would have been inappropriate to ask. Tony and Bruce seemed close, from what you had overheard from their in-depth science conversation at lunch earlier. You could always find Steve, Bucky, and Sam together, but Bucky seemed annoyed whenever he was left with just Sam.

Thor was an outlier and seemed to bounce around all of them seamlessly. His cockiness rivaled Tony’s. Thor appeared to be about six beers deep and enthusiastically telling a story about how he wrestled some unnamed beast in is home country.

“Where is Thor from again?” You turned to Pietro who was watching the group from a distance with you. Though you had felt him watching you when you weren’t looking.

“Some Scandinavian country… we think.” Pietro shrugged. “You sure you don’t want another drink? Nat makes a mean cocktail.”

“I’m sure she does, but I should probably keep my wits about me and not smell like I’ve been drinking. My dad is like a bloodhound with that stuff. One beer was already a risk.”

“So, what is up with your dad anyway? He seems…” Pietro struggled to find the right word.

“Hella protective?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Yes, hell-ah protective, as you so put it.” Pietro inclined his head in your direction, closing the small gap between your bodies.

“He means well. I haven’t made the best choices in my life. And trouble seems to follow me wherever we go. It’s only a matter of time before it finds me here.” You were being intentionally vague. It was a can of worms that someone you just met shouldn’t have sprung on them.

Pietro furrowed his eyebrows but didn’t push. “So, you set fire to your previous school?” He guided you back to the group and you sat next to Wanda on a loveseat, Pietro perched on the arm.

“Fire? Is Y/N talking about setting her school on fire?” Tony had been making his way to the bar when he heard the word fire. Another lit cigarette dangling from his lips.

“Yes, but don’t even think about sitting next to us with that lit.” Steve waved his hand to the offending object.

“It’s my house,” Tony guffawed.

“Rule eleven, specifically made for you, is not smoking within the group circle, because not all of us are trying to get lung cancer before twenty-five.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“I think it’s unfair that we have rules specifically aimed at me. But fine.” Tony dropped his cigarette into his glass and joined the group.

“Rules?” You echoed.

“Top secret,” Tony winked, “Back to the fire, what did you do?”

“It wasn’t anything crazy. I was in wood shop and got bored, wondered if I could burn in a design on a plank with my lighter, and it was highly flammable, apparently. It didn’t take long for the rest of the shop to start on fire, the air was basically half saw-dust.” You shrugged, honestly, it wasn’t the stupidest thing you’d done. It was also an accident for once.

“It only went as far as the home-ec classroom. No big deal, aside from being expelled." 

"Lame!" Tony yawned. "Let's play truth or dare!" 

Everyone groaned and threw empty solo cups at him. 

"Why do you always insist on playing?" Nat looked to him, incredulous. "We've been friends long enough that it isn't fun anymore. You just want us to do stupid shit." 

"What's wrong with stupid shit?" Tony insisted. "Besides we have a newbie now!"

  You looked at your phone and saw it was almost ten o'clock. Had it really been two hours already? "Sorry, but I have to head out. Curfew." 

"And here I was thinking you were a trouble maker," Tony smirked. 

"Oh, I am. But I don't want to be grounded for eternity. Great party though, Tony. Thanks for the invite." You made to leave with Pietro and Wanda on following behind you when a young boy, probably about 14, came running in, out of breath. 

"Alright, who invited the freshman?" Steve rubbed his temples. "We agreed, no freshman." 

"Parker isn't going to cause any trouble, the kid's a saint," Tony argued. "What's going on?" 

"Some--oh hi," the freshman saw you. "I'm Peter Parker. You must be new."

"I'm Y/N. You okay, Peter?"  

He was still trying to catch his breath. "Oh yeah! There's a bunch of Hydra High douche-bros who snuck in. They're by the pool." 

"Fuuuucccckkkkk." Bucky cursed. "They're definitely here to start some shit." "Alright, is everybody sober enough to deal with them?" Steve looked pointedly to Tony who was rolling up his sleeves, already looking ready for a fight. 

"We should probably go, you don't need me and Wanda, right?" Pietro looked to Steve. 

"Umm... if you're parked in the driveway, you won't be able to get out. They blocked it with their own cars." 

"Looks like you're going to be late. Sorry." Pietro frowned at you. A heavy sigh escaped your lips. 

"Nah, it's not your fault. How quickly do you think we can scare off these guys?" Tony held up his hand, gaining everyone's attention. "I might have a solution. Let me go down to my basement, and I will meet you out there." 

The group made their way down to the pool. Your other classmates had crowded around, keeping a distance from Hydra.

  Hydra was raiding the outdoor bar and the scariest student among them was lounging on a wicker chair, sipping lazily on a bottle of vodka. A small voice in your head said he was the leader. Maybe it was because everyone else was at work nabbing whatever they could and he was already enjoying their spoils. You just knew. 

"Avengers!" he called out, happily. "Great party!" 

"Avengers?" You whispered to Pietro. 

"I'll explain later." 

The leader's eyes narrowed in on you. "New recruit?" 

The hair stood up on the back of your neck as he stood up and stepped closer to you. He looked you up and down, perplexed. "Do I know you?"

"Doubt it." Pietro pulled you behind him, breaking his line of sight. 

"Maximoff onto a new toy already?" 

"What are you doing here, Keller? I thought we told you not to come near this place again?" Steve pulled the attention to him. "The message was pretty clear when Thor cracked open your forehead." 

"We heard about the dope ass party, Rogers. Thought some of your classmates would want to have a little more fun--" 

"We don't want your shitty drugs." Peter piped up. "Like weed is cool and stuff, but--" 

"Your shit is garbage." Tony sauntered through the group, a contraption strapped to his arms. "And calling it 'Candy Andy' is kinda lame." 

A light emitted from Tony's palm and beam jutted out and shatter the bottle of vodka in Keller's hand. Tony hissed from the hot metal burning into his palm but stood his ground. 

Keller remained calm and held up his hands, though you could see a slight look of terror in his eyes. "Alright, we'll see you around another time then. Good to see you again, Y/N." He winked at you and they took off. 

You froze, you didn't know him, how did he know you?

****

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[mythicalsecretsanta]

12 Days of Christmas... Almost (E)

This gift is for: Cal (AKA @mythicalamity) Surprise! Keeping this secret from you for the last month wasn’t easy! Thank you for being the kindest, most loving friend I’ve ever had in this fandom and for being a pretty spectacular person in the real world as well. Merry Christmas, Cal! From your Secret Santa, @fanbabble​

Link to AO3, or read below:

The Holiday season was in full swing at Mythical, as much as it could be at least. The virus had put quite a damper on festive activities across the world and Myth Ent was no exception. There were lights strung up and a Christmas tree, but there would be no company Christmas party this year, no cookie exchange, no getting together at each other’s homes for dinner parties or gift swaps. The mood in the office was a little low and Link found himself looking for ways to encourage positivity and the good feelings of the season. That’s why when Stevie suggested a secret santa gift exchange, Link took the idea and ran with it. Employees would play secret santa leaving their secret giftee presents for the 12 days leading up to Christmas. Not only would this game bring a bit of fun into the office, but it could also be done safely as social distancing was a literal part of the rules. You couldn’t reveal your identity to your giftee until the final day of the exchange. It was perfect!

Rhett was less than excited about the prospect. He complained to Link about not wanting to participate. He was nervous he wouldn’t know what to get the person he chose or how to keep the secret. Rhett’s enneagram three-ness was getting in the way of him enjoying himself again. He was worrying too much about impressing the person he got, rather than letting himself relax and have fun with the idea. Link finally convinced his friend to participate. 

“How would it look if one of the owners of the company didn’t play along?”

“Fine. But if my gifts turn out to be duds and ruin someone’s Christmas it’s your fault!” Rhett said as he stood to join Link and walk down the hall to the Mythical kitchen for the name exchange.

Chase mixed the names of everyone in a Santa hat. The in-office folks would be in one drawing and the staff who were working virtually would draw amongst themselves. In all there were about 15 names in the hat that Chase held shut in his grasp. The group took turns reaching their hands in to pick a slip of paper with their giftees name written on it. The PAs went first, followed by the camera men, then the directors, followed by Chase, Stevie, and finally Rhett and Link. 

Rhett stuck his hand into the Santa hat. His gaze was trained on the little opening. 

“No peekin’!!” Link smacked his arm and scolded him. 

“I’m not! Besides There’s literally only one name left in the hat, Link.” 

The kitchen filled with the crew’s laughter. 

“Can’t exactly pick and choose who I want, man.”

Rhett glanced at his friend and then looked at the little slip of paper. The apples of his cheeks became more obvious as a small smile spread across his face. He grasped the paper close to his chest and then tucked it into the pocket of his jeans. 

Everyone in the kitchen celebrated the exchange with a cupcake whipped up by the Mythical Kitchen and then retreated back to their personal space to finish up the day’s work. 

Before the office door was even fully shut Link was in Rhett’s space. 

“Who’d ya get?”

“What?! I’m not telling you. It’s not fair.” Rhett sat down in his office chair and opened his laptop.

“Come on, Bo. Tell me. I got…”

“STOP” Rhett put his hands up to his ears as if to block out what Link was about to reveal. “I don’t wanna hear it. Let’s do this right. Keep it a secret.” 

“Since when do you care about keeping this kinda stuff secret? You usually can’t wait to tell me everything and anything,” Link was teetering on the fine edge between annoyed and amused.  

“Well this year is different. If this is one of the only ways the company gets to celebrate then I wanna do it right.”

“Fine,” Link huffed. He flopped down on the leather couch and draped his arm over his eyes. “You don’t want to tell me, that’s your business, but don’t come begging for gift ideas when you come up dry.” And with that healthy dose of snark the smaller man settled in for an afternoon nap. 

The next day Link walked into their office and threw his jacket over the back of the gray chair that sat by the door. He put his backpack on the floor by his desk and was just about to head to the office kitchen for a cup of coffee when he noticed a box sitting by his desk lamp. He picked it up and examined it. 

“Dang, my santa must get here early.”

It was only 7 AM and Link had just arrived to an empty building. The box was wrapped in shiny green paper and tied with an elegant red bow. He turned it over in his hands looking for some kind of tag or label. When he found nothing, Link slipped the ribbon from the package and pulled off the lid. Inside was a perfect golden pear tucked into a pillow of soft fabric. Link wasn’t sure what to do with the gift so he sniffed it to confirm it was a real piece of fruit. He lifted the pear out of the box and saw that a small note was hidden underneath. He held the pear in one hand and opened the slip of paper with the other. 

“On the first day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me,

A partridge in a pear tree”

-You may be a “sweet peach” but I think we’d make a great “pear”  Love, Your secret admirer

Link read over the note three times before he could totally comprehend what it said. He turned it over to look for any kind of identifying mark or signature. There was nothing to be found. He blushed hard and tucked the note into his pocket. It had been a long time since he had had anyone in his life, much less a Love, but he knew no one at Mythical felt that way about him and even if they did it would be totally unethical to pursue anything. Link was sure it was just some kind of joke by one of the writers and tucked the green box into his backpack before heading off to get his coffee.

When Rhett came in half an hour later, he was all nervous energy and talking 90 miles a minute. He said it was because he had almost gotten into a car accident on the way in. He had found his Secret Santa gift sitting on the back of the toilet in the bathroom and showed it to Link. 

“It’s gotta be Jordan, man,” Rhett said as he held out the bag for Link to inspect, “Who else would give me a bag of cotton candy?” 

Link peeked inside the gift bag and said, “Seems kinda obvious, but it’s possible.” He couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander back to the little green box he had received and the love note that it contained. 

“Earth to Link,” Rhett took the bag back and set it on his desk. “You alright man?”

Link shook his head to clear his mind and refocus on the man before him. “Oh yeah, sorry. Must need more coffee.” He held up his empty mug and headed toward the office door. 

As he reached for the doorknob, Rhett asked quietly, “Did you get your first gift yet?”

Link paused and laughed without looking back, “Yeah, pair of socks. Womp womp,” then he headed out the door.

Over the course of the next few days, Link continued to receive themed gifts from his Secret Santa that left him giddy and baffled at the same time. The first two were silly, Turtle and Dove chocolates for Day 2 and three fried chicken legs for Day 3. They were both accompanied by notes that talked about how much the gifter liked Link and they were both signed “Love, Your secret admirer.” Link still wasn’t sure what to make of the declarations, but he played along and let himself feel special for the moment. Even if he was still convinced it was all a joke. Until Day 4 that is. 

On Day 4 Link walked into the office late to find a small book tied up with a ribbon. “Native birds of the National Parks” The gift was incredibly thoughtful and one that he would definitely use on future adventures. A folded piece of paper was tucked inside the chapter about Denali National Park. It read,

“On the fourth day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me,

Four calling birds”

- Bird calls are beautiful, but the idea of calling you mine is even better.  Love, Your secret admirer

Link opened the book again to the page about the birds of Denali. There was only one person he had ever told about wanting to visit the park covered in glaciers and snow. Rhett. Could his secret admirer be Rhett? Link’s head swam with the possibility. 

He had been in love with his best friend for most of his life, but he had kept it hidden away out of fear of losing the one person in the world who was most important to him. Surely, Rhett was not the person who was his Secret Santa. Link felt a burst of warmth spread across his chest as he let himself entertain the idea for a moment. What would it be like to finally feel those arms around his body? To finally kiss Rhett’s lips? To own his heart as well as his friendship?

As he stood there lost in his own thoughts, the man in question came barreling into the office. Link stuffed the book into his desk drawer and turned quickly to face his friend. 

“Hey, Rhett, how’s it going?” 

Link did his best to maintain his cool. He watched his friend as he moved about the office getting settled for the day. He assessed his behavior for any clues or signs that he might be the “Secret Santa Secret Admirer.” 

“Pretty good. I added some new reps to my workout and now my abs are killing me.” Rhett rubbed his hand across his stomach. His t-shirt pulled taught and drew Link’s eye to the spot. Link felt his breath catch from the promise of what was underneath. His eyes roamed over the broad chest and thick arms. The way the shirt sleeves hugged Rhett’s biceps was criminal. Link knew he would have to control his thirst better if he hoped to get any hints about what role Rhett actually played in all of this. He cleared his throat and got a hold of himself. 

“What time did you get here this morning?” Link asked as casually as he could. He fiddled with the monitor on his computer to appear slightly uninterested in Rhett’s response. 

“What? Just now. You saw me walk in.”

“I thought maybe you came in and left again.”

Rhett turned and opened his laptop. He busied himself with things on his desk while it booted up. 

“Nope. Just rolled in.”

“Oh cool,” Link paused before adding, “How’s your secret santa going?” 

Rhett reached for a pen and knocked his coffee mug off balance spilling yesterday’s brown stuff over his desk and onto his lap.

“Shit!”

Link jumped up and grabbed the roll of paper towels he kept by his desk. He pulled off a handful and held them out to Rhett. 

“Can you clean this up for me, Buddyroll? I have to go over to wardrobe and find some different pants to wear or I’ll smell like an old coffee pot all day.” Rhett grabbed the towels and dabbed at the wet spot that stretched across his thighs. 

“Yeah, go ahead. I got this.” Link began to mop up the spilled coffee as Rhett headed out the door. His interrogation would have to wait for another day.

Days 5 and 6 were once again oddly funny gifts. If Rhett was the secret admirer it would make sense because he was the funniest person Link knew. A lifetime of laughter with Rhett had been the tradeoff for hiding the fact that he loved the man immensely. The idea that his love might be returned was more than Link had ever let himself hope for. 

The notes included with the gifts were just as tender as the previous ones. Day 5’s onion rings were accompanied by a slip that described Link as “more valuable than a golden ring” and day 6’s half dozen eggs had a note that read “You are a good egg, who makes my heart happy.”

Link enjoyed the sentiment, but nothing struck him as particularly suspicious. Day 7 was, however, a game changer.

That morning as Link walked past the dark studio a glimmer caught his eye. He set his backpack and Jade down and walked onto the GMM set where he found a string of origami paper birds strung together on a piece of gold silk ribbon. The swans were hanging across the back of the set from wall to wall. There must have been at least 50. Each bird’s wings was dipped in silver glitter and twinkled in the low light giving the set a magical air. Link stood back and took in the beauty. 

When he looked closer he saw each swan was made of sheet music. Link held one small bird in his fingers gently and examined it. He would recognize those chords anywhere. It was Merle. These paper swans were made with sheet music of Merle Haggard’s song, “Always Wanting You.”

“This has to be a gift,” Link whispered to himself. 

Link held his breath, afraid if he moved he would scare away the one idea he wanted to be true most in the world. That his secret santa was not only Rhett, but that the man was in love with him as well. 

A larger piece of paper flapped at the end of the string of birds. Link grabbed it and saw that his name was indeed on the front of the folded slip. He opened it and read:

“On the seventh day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Seven swams a swimming”

- Like Merle said, “Always wanting you, but never having you makes it hard to face tomorrow.”   Love, Your Secret Admirer

Link couldn’t believe what he was reading. This had to be confirmation that Rhett was his secret admirer and secret santa. Jade sniffed at his shoes as if she were looking for the answer to a question he didn’t know. Link gently took the chain of birds down, gathered his things, and headed back to his office. 

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see the big man sitting at his desk already. He was speaking loudly on the phone about a new project they were working on. 

“No, damn it. I don’t want to cut that part! I purposely included it to help the flow of the story.” 

Rhett’s voice bounced off the brick walls. His tone was harsh. Link thought better of questioning him right now and tucked the birds into his backpack. He sat back on the couch and opened his laptop for the day. Jade snuggled into Link’s side and he petted her head mindlessly. His thoughts were only of Rhett. As he waited for his computer to boot up, Link watched Rhett. 

“It has to be him. Who else would use Merle?” Link thought to himself, “Oh you’re being an idiot. Everyone knows you love Merle Haggard, dummy. It could be anybody.” 

Link sunk down into the leather cushions and sulked. Not knowing for certain was exhausting. Only 5 more days to figure out this mystery. He glanced down at the paper swans one more time and smiled softly. 

Day 8 brought a bottle of chocolate milk and a note that read, “You’re the milk to my cookie” 

Link drank it in front of Rhett at lunch to see if he would get a reaction. Nothing. Well, with the exception of the way those green eyes sparkled when he belly laughed at a joke or the way Rhett put his hand on Link’s back as they left the office to head to record an episode of Ear Biscuits. Link noticed those things, but he couldn’t be sure if they were a reaction to the milk or to being close to Link in general. 

Link had caught Rhett in a lingering gaze more than once since the Seven Swans gift. And when they were alone together it felt like a spark was fizzing between the two of them. Something was going on, Link was sure of it. He just needed a little more proof before he could confront Rhett. His friendship was entirely too valuable to risk on an assumption.

On day 9, Link climbed into the driver’s seat of his car. He reached down to grab his sunglasses and was surprised to find something extra resting on the console. It was an old school cassette tape. Just like the kind he and Rhett used to exchange in high school. They would spend hours making the tapes and then driving down the back roads listening to their creations and singing at the top of their lungs. If he was honest, those times were when he first fell in love with Rhett. 

Link flipped the cassette over in his palm. On the outside of the case where the album art would usually be, was his name. Link immediately recognized it as Rhett’s handwriting. He opened the case and found a piece of paper folded in fourths tucked inside. It read:

“On the ninth day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Nine ladies dancing.”

- I kept trying to find a funny pun for this day, but all I could focus on was singing these songs with you as we drove down the highway in North Carolina. I’ve tried to hold out to the end of the 12 days, but this secret is an old one and I don’t want to keep quiet anymore. If you feel the same, find me in the office at work and tell me. If not just toss this cassette in the trash and pretend it never happened.  Love, Your Secret Admirer 

Link was quiet for a moment and then, “Rhett! It’s Rhett! He loves me!” Link yelled at nobody in particular. Just saying the words out loud made him feel less like it was all a dream and more like it was real life. He threw his things into the passenger’s seat. In his flustered state he tried to check the time on his sunglasses and put his phone on his nose. He shifted into reverse and sped down the block. 

Link’s heart was pounding in his chest. He was breaking every speed limit on the way into Burbank, but he did not care. Let a cop try and stop him now, nothing could keep him from getting to Rhett. Link pulled into the parking lot in record time and he bolted out of his car and through the studio doors. He was running at full speed back to the office he shared with Rhett. His Rhett. Link took a deep breath and pushed the door open. 

The office was empty. Where was he? Link knew he didn’t pass him on the way through the building. He stood still for a moment and wrung his hands trying to think of what to do next. Just when he was starting to worry that Rhett had panicked and ran, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs of their loft. 

Link watched as Rhett appeared slowly, first feet, then legs, torso, and finally that glorious head of hair. 

“Link…” 

Rhett barely got the word out before the smaller man was launching himself across the office and into his arms. He melted into the embrace and pulled Link tighter against him. They took just a moment to look into each other’s eyes before their lips met. The kiss was strong and full of promise. Link opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and the passion kicked in. Rhett lifted Link up with his hands under the smaller man’s thighs and carried him to the couch. 

They pressed heated kisses into skin and hair. Marking their love on the other’s body wherever they could find purchase. Hands roamed pulling hair and grabbing biceps. And when Rhett laid Link down on their couch and pressed his body to the cradle of Link’s hips there was no denying that both men were hard with desire already. 

Link gasped with the sensation of being so close to Rhett. The feeling of his hard cock pressed against Rhett’s made his head swim and he pulled back to catch a breath. Rhett took the opportunity to say something he’d been holding in for decades.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” 

Each declaration was punctuated with a kiss. Link’s collar bones, his neck, his temple.

Link pulled Rhett close and whispered into his ear, “I’ve loved you my whole life.”

It was all the permission Rhett needed. He worshiped Link’s body and rocked against him until they were both finishing in their jeans like teenagers. Sticky and satisfied the pair laid together on the couch exchanging lazy kisses and gentle touches. Trying to make up for all the lost time they denied themselves. 

Link was half asleep and half in awe of the way Rhett looked. He laid silently and listened to Rhett as he said, “I can’t believe it worked. I thought for sure you’d throw the cassette away.” 

Link ran his fingers through Rhett’s curls gently. 

“You doubted me? Haven’t you figured it out yet, Bo? All you have to do is be the brave one and I’ll follow your lead.” He placed a kiss on Rhett’s tshirt right about his heart. “Thanks for being the brave one.” Rhett kissed the top of Link’s head and grunted in affirmation.

Link snuggled into Rhett’s chest and closed his eyes. Just as he was about to doze off the smaller man popped up and looked Rhett in the eye. 

“Don’t think just because you love me, you’re getting out of giving me gifts. I have three days left and I want my secret presents.” Link flashed his crooked grin and poked at Rhett’s side. 

Rhett let out a booming ho-ho-ho laugh before pulling Link back down against his chest.

“You can have anything you want, Link. Diamonds, rubies. I don’t need any presents though because I’ve already got the most valuable gift of the season… you.”

[hoaqins-funk-house]

Hoaqin/White

Yandere

Part 4; Finale

Standing next to Rak (you learned his actual name before arriving), you look over at Hoaqin. "He's gotten bigger." You absentmindedly mention, Hoaqin's eyes snapping over to you as you speak, the scowl on his face quickly replaced by a grin. 

Having focused on your face first, it took a couple seconds for him to notice the change in clothing. And with it, he saw the scars. 

While he did enjoy the view, your past injuries were far too numerous for him to ignore. 

"Wait, Y/N, how did your clothes get ripped like that?!" He asks. He could question you about the scars later. 

"Oh. Rak threw his spear at me because I wanted to test my defense. I forgot that my clothes aren't as protected as my body." You scratch your cheek, hearing his sigh. 

"Well, either way, come over here."

"Uh-" Your answer gets cut off as the announcer guy begins to speak, making Hoaqin huff.

"Let's begin the last round of the Dallar Show! The name of it is-" 

He gets cut off as a familiar girl floats next to him. "Wait, you forgot to mention something. The most important participant, me."

She says, you looking up at her. "Hey, it's her."

Looking down at you, she smiles, waving.

Hoaqin looks at you, confused. "You know her?"

"Not really, to be honest. She is your last sibling, though."

"That is correct." She confirms.

"No way! She looks nothing like any of my siblings! Y/N, are you sure about that?" He asks, looking to you as you shrug. 

"I mean, I figured it out because I sensed her power." 

"Hmm…" He looks back up at her, brows still furrowed. Seeing as he was actually trying, he could sense her power, but still, he didn't like how friendly she was acting with you. She might even try and take you for her own.

You could tell by the look on his face that he was misinterpreting something or other relating to you, that jealous spark in his eyes unmistakable.

She flickers over next to Viole, leaning over his shoulder. "You're facing him, huh? A Slayer Candidate…"

As Khun and Rak begin to shout at her, she flickers in front of you, Hoaqin's eyes narrowing into a glare.

"And you, the one he's interested in."

She glances back at him, his expression making her smile grow wider. She flickers back up to the announcer guy, lifting her finger to her lips. "I guess I'll watch the game and hop in to help whoever I like. That would be okay, right?"

Hoaqin scoffs indignantly. "You're my last clone, right?! Why wouldn't you help me?!"

"Shut up. That's minus five points for you."

"What?!" 

Your expression shows your small struggle to refrain from making any noises of amusement, managing to calm yourself down in time for the announcer guy to allow her intrusion.

"Now, let's begin the final game of the Dallar Show; Go to Hell!" He calls, a ringed circle much like the one you were standing on appearing on the screen behind him.

You stare up at the screen, entertained by the name.

As he begins to explain the rules, you do your normal thing and zone out, especially uninterested in a game you wouldn't even be participating in.

"As a final note- there will be two surprise hostages, one from each team! They will be introduced in the second round!" 

That was pretty much the only part you caught as you and the others in Viole's party moved up to the next layer. 

Yura was a small bit away from you, not looking at you and instead focusing on the ball Rachel was in, which Khun had entered as well. 

"Hey, Dragon." You start, him looking over at you. "Can you decompress, put your spear down, and hold your arms out like this?" You ask, holding your arms out like you were holding a large chest. 

Confused, he does so, you taking the chance to leap up into his arms. Promptly, you fall asleep. 

"Blank Turtle! Hey! You tricked me!" Rak huffs, looking back down at the match to see Hoaqin glaring at him. 

Rak pays no mind to the bloodlust that radiates off of Hoaqin, most of it gliding off of his tough skin and exceptionally smooth brain.

Prince gets dropped, falling lower and lower.

Hoaqin doesn't move as Viole waits for the right chance, soon launching off and into the center pipe. He paid out 30 Dallars as he did so, Hoaqin's unamused eyes following him down.

He calls out to Khun, the submarine door popping open and letting the purple-haired boy tumble out and into Viole's arms. 

"Saved! Viole's team successfully saved their hostage!"

Prince floats out of Viole's arms and onto the platform that you and the rest of Viole's group was as he returns to where he began, the announcer sending the next person down.

Hoaqin chuckles, a mean grin on his face. "You're the type to try and save everyone, huh? I can tell. You know, Viole…" 

Abruptly, he launches forward, bringing down his sword as Viole tries to block it, the sword slashing into his arm either way. "You're exactly the type of person I hate!"

Hoaqin blocks the main passage from Viole's view, his grin more of a snarl. "You always do everything for everyone! That stupid altruistic mentality of yours really gets on my nerves!"

He laughs as Viole attempts to round him on his blue platform, leaping up to send him back to the ground. "You should really try and be a little more selfish!" He laughs again, louder, as Viole picks himself up, glaring.

"Why would I want to be as heartless as you?" He asks, gritting his teeth as Buelsar continues falling, his path blocked by the prior Slayer. 

"It just makes life… so fun! At this point, there's only two things I truly care about." Hoaqin's expression grows sly as Viole continues to try and get past him, failing and getting more and more damaged with each slash.

“Ah...I have a story for you.” His grin continues to grow as he sends more slashes towards Viole, who grows more distraught as Buelsar falls further and further. “Before I got trapped here, I ruled over two lands, as their king.”

He continues to tell his story to the stricken boy, whose blood was beginning to pool around his feet. Buelsar continued to fall, and Viole continued trying his damnedest to get into the pipe, continually getting blocked by the white-clad man. “It truly is a shame about the one in the submarine, but if I am going to be the pinnacle, I needn’t worry myself with such disposable peons.”

“Disposable…?” Viole’s breaths pick up as he glares at Hoaqin, the Thorn flaring up. “He put his life on the line to fight for you, and you call him disposable?! You truly are worse than scum! I can’t imagine living a day in which I think of those around me as disposable!”

“Oh well. You just aren’t cut out for being a Slayer, then.” He sighs, his expression neutral.

Viole rushes forward, faster than before, but still not quite fast enough. Hoaqin sends him flying back with one strike. 

“I… don’t want to be a Slayer! I’ve already told you this! And if you truly see him as disposable, or a peon, why won’t you-”

“Let you save him? It’s simple.” 

Hoaqin’s face breaks into a wide smirk, his eyes glowing underneath the shadow of his bangs. “You and your team annoy me; I wanted to watch you squirm as you tried and tried to save someone, only to fail and fail, over and over, until they were gone from this world. And look! I succeeded in that, didn’t I?” He throws back his head, letting out a mad laugh as Viole stands, rushing past and leaping into the pipe. “Jump down there! I’ll let you. No matter what you try, you won’t make it in time.”

Peering into the deep passage, he watches with twisted amusement as Viole rushes down, faster and faster, before stepping back, already knowing of his hostage’s fate. Viole’s injuries slow him down, ribbons of blood flying through the air behind him as he hopelessly descends.

“Three, two, one…” He counts down on his fingers, ending with the announcer. “Zero.”

“H-Hoaqin’s team has failed to save their hostage.” The announcer shakily states. “Any spent Dallars will be lost.”

Viole floats up no less than a minute later, his face dark as he glares at Hoaqin, the Thorn blazing behind him.

“A-at the moment, Hoaqin has 24 Dallars remaining, and Jue Viole Grace has 67. The second round will begin now!”

Hoaqin looks up at him, his playful grin making the announcer sweat. “We will now be introducing the surprise hostage from Jue Viole Grace’s team!”

Hoaqin glances back at you as he hears you wheeze, having lost your breath when you hit the floor. “Damn, wasn’t expecting that.” You mumble, using the railing to pick yourself back up. You look around behind you, trying to find the reptilian. “Rak? Oh, was he the surprise…?” 

Sighing, you lean on the bar, eyes half-lidded as you watch the submarine plunge down. You close them, propping your head up on your hand. 

You didn’t want to watch. 

“Jue Viole Grace. You can go after him if you’d like, this time I won’t stop you.” Hoaqin smirks, stepping around to get on the opposite side of him. “As a matter of fact-” He rushes forward, Viole preparing for a slash. “I encourage it!” His eyes widen as the white-haired man reels the opposite arm to his sword arm back, bringing it into his crossed arms and sending him flying back, his heels digging into the floor as he tries to slow down. 

By the time he manages to, he stands less than a foot away from the edge, listening to the announcer before paying out and leaping down. Hoaqin laughs loudly, not seeing your grimace, as you had barely opened your eyes to see what was happening. 

You knew from the start that Hoaqin, that White, was a cruel person. That by standing by him, you were standing on the wrong side. 

He held you there. 

If you ran, he would follow right behind.

If you hid, he would find you.

You didn’t take him seriously enough in the beginning, and now you were paying the price; he never lied when he told you, “You’re mine.”

Opening your eyes to escape from your thoughts, you look over Viole’s group, noticing an extra person. A purple-haired kid, who was clearly trying to calm himself down. Your eyes move back to the arena, watching Hoaqin’s last clone as she stared down at her origin, disgust and anger coursing through her gaze. 

“Jue Viole Grace has successfully saved his hostage!”

Viole called out for Khun, and Rak was saved. He was returned to your side soon after, sweat nearly pouring off of him. You pat his head, him looking up at you briefly before his eyes go wide.

“Blank Turtle!” He shouts, whipping his head around. 

You had vanished.

-

You sigh, the restraints binding you to the submarine wall. “Of course it was me.”

-

Hoaqin glances over to where you should be, only seeing the crocodile as he looked for you. His eyes widen as he looks over at the submarine, soon glaring up at the announcer. “The surprise hostage from Hoaqin’s team has been selected!”

The second the round starts, Hoaqin pays out 10 Dallars, slashing at and subsequently knocking Viole down before jumping down, boosting his speed. He got to the correct height a few seconds later, Viole unable to stand up in time. He winces as his various cuts bleed, stinging against the air.

“Woman! Open the submarine!” Hoaqin shouts, Rachel doing so right after. The door shoots open, and you fall straight into his arms, slightly disoriented. 

“Ugh, that didn’t feel good.” You lightly complain, feeling Hoaqin’s grip on you tighten, ever so slightly. He looks down at you, the sharp panic that had risen in his throat giving way to a broiling anger as he glances at his last clone and Viole. His eyes blaze, only relenting as he gets an idea, letting out a scheming hum.

“Hoaqin has saved his hostage!”

You notice a blue light surrounding you as you reach the top platform, hearing Hoaqin’s chuckle. “I said I wouldn’t be dying, now it looks like you need to make the same promise.”

You yawn. “Yeah yeah, even if I hit the acid I’d at least survive for a couple minutes.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Oh, so now you’re-” You get cut off as you get transported back to the group, Hoaqin laughing.

You huff, a small pout on your lips as Hoaqin grins, eyes on you. 

He looks back at Viole, expression growing vicious. “Even if you don’t want to become a Slayer, you’re in this battle with me. And I expect a fun fight! No more throwing yourself at my blade, make this entertaining!” 

Pointing his sword at the injured boy, Hoaqin stares down his arm as if measuring. He hums as Viole pants, still winded. His vision was fuzzy, and lightheadedness was beginning to strike him. His head pulsed with pain.

“You’ve barely used that Thorn of yours. Are you even trying?” He asks, tilting his head mockingly. “Well, I can find out your capabilities next round, I suppose.”

“Hoaqin has a total of 24 Dallars remaining, and Jue Viole Grace has 67! We will begin the next round! Viole’s hostage will be dropped now!”

Grinning, Hoaqin pays out 10 Dallars and follows Viole in jumping down, Viole turning in mid-air to face him, grimacing. 

“Now, let’s make this fun!” Hoaqin calls, lifting his sword above his head before swinging it down, his Arie heritage clearly showing as many slashes happen synchronously. Viole brings his arms up before Shinsu pours into the air, swirling into orbs before streaking around Hoaqin, leaving trails as they whirl around. Abruptly, they fly up, homing in on the prior Slayer and flying directly at him. 

He dispels them with a single swing, glaring down at Viole as he jets down. Hoaqin sneers, raising his sword above his head once more, gathering a massive amount of energy. Now, his plan would go into action.

He swings down, releasing the energy burst before following behind it, hiding himself among the light. 

Seeing the sword being thrown, he reveals himself for less than a second, knocking it out of the way. 

His last piece, having had their intervention denied, teleports down in order to block his attack from hitting Viole, who had a young girl in his arms. Holding out her arms, she begins to form a shield, only for a hand to burst forth, roughly grabbing her arm and pulling her into the attack. 

The energy dissipates as Hoaqin ignores its stability, grinning at his now hurt last piece. “You… you have so many souls within you. They all look… so tasty…” 

She was unable to teleport away as a bright light surrounded her and him.

Every spectator watched with some form of horror, you feeling the creeping dread climb your back as your future reality sets in.

“Ah, finally.” His voice appears before he does. “I'll be getting off this stuffy train in no time." 

Viole looks up, eyes wide as he stares at the Slayer. White’s gaze meets his, a grin forming on his lips. “Ah yes, you. I’ll savor your soul, so don’t worry about going to waste. Get back on the main platform. The next hostage is about to fall, after all.” 

Viole slowly ascends, Miseng disappearing from his arms as he lands himself. 

“Now…” Pointing his sword at Viole, he tilts his head. “I can’t have you winning this game, now can I? Spend all your Dallars on the next descent.”

The second Viole takes a step forward, White points his blade towards Viole’s group. A drop of sweat drips down his face, his body aching even with the adrenaline that coursed through him. 

“H-hoaqin’s hostage will be dropped now!” 

Grinning, White gestures towards the center pipe. 

Begrudgingly, Viole pays out 37 Dallars, leaping down after the submarine. 

“Pfft. Is he planning to save the hostage? He knows about the spell, does he not? It’s useless.”

He chuckles quietly.

“Hoaqin has s-saved his hostage! Jue Viole G-grace has no more Dallars to compete with, so he is... disqualified! Hoaqin wins!”

Humming, he waits for Viole to return to his level, holding Angel with shaking arms. He had lost so much blood, it was really a wonder how he hadn’t collapsed yet. “I’m impressed, Jue Viole Grace. I think I’ll eat you now, instead of waiting for the spell.”

Viole turns to him as Angel disappears, eyes dully glaring. He breaks into a sloppy run, jumping as he tries to land a punch, reinforced by Shinsu. 

White lifts his arm.

Viole stops, held in the air by a sword that crackled with energy. He chokes, coughing out large amounts of blood as he grabs the sword right where it entered his body. 

“Still struggling, hmm? It’s no use.” White levels the sword, staring at the Slayer Candidate.

Weakly, Viole shoves himself off the blade, falling to the ground. His chest heaves as he tries to stand, unable to put weight on legs without his knees going out. 

His quivering arms hold up his torso, more blood pooling in and dripping out of his mouth. 

“You’ve fought well, Jue Viole Grace.” White stands above him, sword hovering over the black-haired male’s spine. “But not well enough.”

He brings the sword down, Viole gasping out a last breath before all life drained from his eyes, face growing gaunt as his soul was consumed.

White’s eyes widen as his power surges, flaring up around him. Looking back down at Viole, his brows furrow. “An Irregular…” He kneels, picking up the compressed Thorn and pocketing it.

He sighs, stretching his limbs and dispelling his sword as Khun runs up to Viole, kneeling at his side and lifting his torso up, getting a better look at what had happened.

His body quakes, looking up at White with a snarl on his face. “You....” He growls.

White meets his gaze, amusement showing through his glowing eyes. He looks away, paying the Lightbearer no mind as he begins to walk forward, cloak fluttering behind him. 

Khun lays Viole down gently, standing up with rage seeping into his heavy breaths and clenching hands. He takes a few heavy steps, soon advancing to a full-on charge as he whips out his dagger, about to run the soon-to-be High Ranker through. White whips around, seizing his wrist with enough force to nearly snap it. “Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one? You should know it's less painful for you to simply die to the spell.”

“I don’t care about pain! If I’m about to die, I might as well go down fighting!”

Looking to the side, you watch as Rak reels his arm back, decompressing and throwing the spear before jumping down next to Khun. White easily blocks it, releasing Khun as the spear bounces off, letting Rak grab it once more.

It didn’t take long for the rest of Viole’s comrades to join him, Rachel and Yura standing somewhat off to the side.

You, however, stood still. Watching from above.

“Blue Turtle is right!” Rak shouts. “The best way to go out is with a struggle!”

Your brows furrow.

A chorus of agreement passes over the group as they ready their weapons and abilities.

You bite the inside of your lip.

“Hmph. I suppose I can reward you all for your courage with a quick death.” Lifting his arm, his lips twitch up as he notices your grip tighten on the rails. Shinsu emanates from his hand, extending in a beam as he forms the beginnings of a sword. He sees your expression grow more conflicted, the group in front of him approaching cautiously.

He laughs, letting go of his gathered Shinsu, seemingly vanishing from in front of them.

A chill travels up your spine as hands grab the railing beside your own, your back pressed into a chest and a head resting on your shoulder. “You were going to jump in.” He claims, a drop of sweat running down your cheek. “You know I won’t allow you to get hurt.”

One hand traces a scar on your stomach, making you shiver at his cold fingers and light touch. “Especially now that I know how hurt you used to get. You could probably survive a couple hits, but after that, it would be over.”

“Hey! Leave Blank Turtle alone!” Rak shouts, waving his spear at White. 

He looks down at the reptile and the rest of the group, the hand he had moved now stationed around your waist. Raising an eyebrow, the corner of his lips twitch up. “Hey, Y/N. Do I kill them now, or activate the spell?”

Your lips open shakily, closing without a word escaping your mouth.

White hums. “Alright then. I suppose I’ll choose for you.”

He grins, his other hand placing itself on top of your own before his fingers slip in between yours. “Killing them all would be a bit too tedious for my tastes. I’ll activate the spell.” He leans more into you, eyes closing.

“Even with your defense, you would die to this if I wasn’t here.” His face breaks into a satisfied smile. “I’d close your eyes. You still may be knocked out though; the attempt to rip out your soul will be rather taxing physically.”

“I... could guess.” Your drab voice makes White’s smile droop a bit.

He could see it in your eyes, that returning blankness. 

Was he not enough?

Or was it them, for even getting close enough to you for you to care if they died?

He quietly scoffs, feeling the collection wave begin from the caboose, quickly advancing along. “Well, the collection starts now.”

You hum, monotonous. 

“Blank Turtle!” Rak shouts, leaping up and reeling back his arm, spear in hand. He throws it, and everything seems to slow as it approaches.

Did you lower your defense? Let it strike you down?

Did you redirect it? Try to hit White?

Did you-

“It’s no use.”

Of course. It didn’t matter.

White holds his hand up, catching the spear by its head. He smirks, tossing it to the side.

Suddenly, the group leaps up, readying their attacks as Khun, at the front, uses his Lighthouses to form a path, running up to the next lexel. His dagger is in his hands, face serious as he leads the last ditch attack. Before he could come into contact with the amused White, he ducks to the side, slipping around White and passing something to you.

You felt the cold metal in your hands, knowing what you had to do.

White faces the group as they attack him, blocking Khun from getting any slashes in with his dagger and keeping the wide range of blasts from the group at bay. Rak, who had managed to grab his spear, jumps up, pointing the spear towards the Slayer as he descends, White looking up to block him.

You take your chance.

Whipping around, you drive the Heavenly Mirror into his chest.

A hand grips your own as you attempt to pierce his heart, silver eyes narrowed. A mean sneer takes its place on his lips. “Hmph. You almost got me. Still, that knife only stores someone if it pierces their heart, correct?”

He rips the knife out of your hands and his chest, throwing it without care at the group, whose attacks had ceased.

“How cruel.”

His eyes shift to the wall, feeling the wave as it gets closer and closer.

Rak swings his spear, White ducking and grabbing its length, snapping it in two. 

Khun again charges, White grabbing him by the neck.

“Don’t you ever give up? You’re annoying.” He throws the Lightbearer at the group as well, ignoring their startled reaction and Rak’s shout. 

“Ah, whatever. The wave is here.”

Everyone turns their attention to the wall as a bright light slips through the cracks, eventually overtaking the room. Clenching your eyes shut, you feel two arms encircle you, pulling you closer before your consciousness disappears.

-

When your eyes open, bleary and unfocused, you could tell that you were in a different room. 

Blinking, a quiet groan escapes your lips as you sit up, hand against your forehead as a dull pain pulses through it. The sheets that covered you fell, pooling around your waist and revealing the same tattered clothes. 

You sigh, looking around the room with a tired, unsure gaze. 

You tense as you feel arms snake around your waist, a head nestling in the crook of your neck. He practically deflates with a breath, leaning into you.

“How long I have waited for this…” He mumbles, his hold on you tightening as he lifts his head, placing a kiss on your neck, just below your jaw. “I’ve regained my status and power, and you are by my side.”

He smiles, pulling you into his lap. “As it should be; perfect.”

Everything worked out exactly as he wanted. 

He places another kiss on your neck, just below the previous. 

“Truly perfect.”

@astrxrism 

I am willing to tag if you ask :)

[zahra-kha]

Dear Diary 33 pt 2

We get to the clinic and Scorpius is on his way to recovery. I’d say full but I have no idea the condition of his balls and I do not want to know please no one tell me.

Not everything needs to be shared among friends.

Anyway, we get there and Aria is trying to get pizza off of a kid named Var (who reminds me of a wilder, more vulgar version of my little brother. He’s cute, I’d spoil him. Little brothers are meant to be spoiled, it’s how you throw them off when they least expect it) which I’m amazed by because we’d just eaten. Aria’s got a huge appetite I guess.

So anyway, we get there and Scorpius is ready to show off his huge manga that’s got a detailed version of his revenge plan against Khallendra, the Siren captain that assaulted him and literally crushed his family jewels. The first step of his revenge plan was to pee in the Siren’s practice pool.

We quickly decided we needed a new plan of action. Ray was there, bless him, and together with Aria the whole room tried to put our heads together. Eigaar was less than impressed with our influence on a young boy but well, that wasn’t really our problem, sadly. And well, that kid really didn’t need our help to come up with schemes and plots anyway - he’s a little shit all on his own. I really don’t think we can make things any worse. If anything, he helped us. I think he’s darling.

Just in case something happens and this diary gets compromised, I won’t write our plan down until after the fact. But it’s a good plan.

I won’t continue discussing what happened at the clinic save for the fact that Garlean technology is frightening. Some weird contraption nearly ate Aria and we had to do an emergency stop on it. I left shortly after that since we’d finished discussing what we needed to.

Then there was the Plume! Wowee was that a night! We had fighting on and off the stage! It was a pretty busy night, we didn’t have a bartender so Conor and I were splitting duties and tag teaming. There was this dotharl woman who was pretty snooty and making a fuss about this and that while getting drunk. That wasn’t really an issue, I suppose, since she knew Conor and he was handling her. She was mostly just distracting since I had other tables besides hers to wait on.

Then there was Shampoo Hair Advertisement Murder Hobo Guy who looked like he had come there specifically to stab anyone who looked at him wrong and look fabulous doing it...which was both amusing and annoying at the same time. You can’t be a murder hobo and attractive. Pick one my guy.

So anyway, I called out a warning about fighting outside of the stage since tensions were rising with Murder Hobo Shampoo Hair but oh no, it wasn’t him that decided not to follow the rules.

It was the dotharl. Because Zhao called her a barbarian. Because of course she did. It’s what Zhao does. If she doesn’t insult someone at least once during the course of the night it’s not Zhao.

Of course, Miss I’m From The Steppes and in The Steppes We Disembowel Anyone Who Insults Us didn’t know that so she decided to break out an axe and start swinging. Because that’s how my night was going to go, I suppose. Let’s prove the person who called us a barbarian wrong by...acting like a barbarian!

She blatantly ignores the entire staff when we ask her to disarm because, why listen to us, I guess? We only work there. Goes on a rant about, fuck if I know at this point she’s drunk and I’ve all but stopped caring about her reasons. Blah blah blah, Zhao hurt my feelings, blah blah blah, I’m a dotharl, blah blah blah, I guess the establishment needs to take responsibility for what its patrons say at a bar, because that makes perfect sense.

It doesn’t, but whatever.

So we’re cowards for some reason, I had lost track of her logic long ago and my empathy meter reached zero around when Zhao walked away and she still didn’t put away her fucking weapon.

Oh wait, there’s more! Because the drunk crazy woman didn’t want to let it go! She eventually is talked down by Conor and leaves...oh wait she didn’t. No, she hangs outside and harasses people as they’re leaving. Specifically Murder Shampoo Hobo and Finn, of all people? Someone completely unrelated to the incident! Everyone except the person who originally insulted her! Gotta love drunks!

By this point the place has nearly cleared out with the exception of regulars, and my fight has ended (my winning streak is over, oh no. Kidding, I’m not really mad about it) so we can clearly hear something is going on outside. We get out there and Finn has been bloodied by this woman and Tamala looks like she wants to murder.

We’re able to get things under control and finally psycho axe lady gets the hint that maybe what she’s doing isn’t earning her any friends. She starts cursing and spitting and whatever else drunk jerks do before they piss off to whatever drunk holes they go to settle in.

I don’t really care if she comes back or not, but I’d really like it if the bar sets a hard limit on what she gets to drink. That was a nightmare. And maybe if she does come back, it’s with thicker skin. Getting called a name at a fight club is hardly the worst offense that can happen to you that you need to break out a whole axe and wait for people to come out to start fights with them. If she’s that sensitive when she’s drunk then we need to ban her from the bar.

The grudge match between the Gil Turtles and the Sirens was shortly after that. I only went to cheer on Scorpius, who had joined onboard with the Turtles (they needed bodies for the game) for the sake of revenge. And boy was he angry. It was a good game, and although it didn’t count for anything, I wasn’t mad about the fact that the Turtles trounced the Sirens (after a shoot off).

I’ll give it to the Siren’s goalie. Ga Bu did a great job catching Neroki’s kick. The poor little guy looked like that took years off his total lifespan.

A few days later we met with Lord Thiji, mostly to give thanks for his sponsorship. We had a lovely dinner and he gave us our gifts early, these cute turquoise chocobo chicks. I originally named mine Warkie but he was a rambunctious little guy! He would run in circles and then go on the attack! He went after Hath’s tail but Hath caught on and he was too quick. The little guy was a little miffed but not deterred. He then made a beeline for Ray’s tail and I’m not sure if it’s because Ray really loves cute things but he didn’t even fight it and his tail got chomped.

The look on poor Ray’s face as he tried to continue conversation with a chocobo chick attached to his tail. At least the little chick looked happy?

Eventually, he got bored with that and I was able to snag him. He kept trying to bite my horns though, so I renamed him to Bitey. Little bugger is adorable when he’s not trying to go after my tail or horns. When I brought him home he was very curious about Fènghuáng, who looked offended I had brought home another bird, and a chick at that. He huffed and puffed out his chest and fluttered about. I had to give him some treats to calm him down. Bitey is very curious about Fènghuáng, who refuses to come down from his high perch now and just looks down at the curious Bitey with this air of superiority.

I have some strong personalities in my apartment. I don’t know how I’ll be able to take care of this little chick, I’ll have to talk to the apartment managers. I should be able to set aside a little area for now, but once he starts getting a little bigger maybe they’ll let me stable him?

[dollhousemuses-a]

INSTRUCTIONS : Always repost with the rules, answer the 11 random questions left for you and leave 11 more for the people you tag!

TAGGED BY : @triggerbigger TAGGING : @mallhit, @decanard, @ragefeathers, @terrorofthenight, @djs-muses

questions i’m answering

1. What is a tattoo you have always wanted to get?  Why?  If you don’t want tattoos, why not?

I really want a sunflower on my side, just below my ribs for no real reason past that i love sunflowers. 

2. What is your favorite Pokémon?  Why?  If you’re not into Pokémon, what is your favorite wild animal?  (Wild!  Not domestic!  So you can’t just say “cat” or something!  We’re here for the weird shit!)

Mimikyu and Sylveon. I just think they’re neat. 

3. Opinion on dinosaurs?  Please.  I need to know who I can trust.

I would 100% have gone to Jurassic park so... that’s that on that. 

4. What is a random headcanon for your muse that you haven’t gotten to talk about yet?  Any ideas for a thread that incorporates that headcanon?  (Not necessarily with me, just in general.)

I don’t think I ever talk about Gladstone enough in general for how important he is and how much thought I put into his character, but I have the headcanon that he was there when both Donald and Della’s parents died, and he was there when Fethry and Abner’s parents died. And like, obvi this is up to the other writer, but I know that @decanard shares this headcanon with me that Gladstone was in the car when the twin’s parents died and I’ll get more into this actually probably tonight. 

5. Are there any authors that inspire your writing style, whom you try to emulate?

Not really? I have a habit of mirroring the writing style of whoever I’m replying to when it comes to like, levels of decorum or simplicity, so most of the time I’m trying to figure out what my own writing style is. 

6. What, in your opinion, is the ugliest color combination?

Green and orange. Get fucked michelangelo. ( they’re also my least favourite colours so like? )

7. I have always been obsessed with the idea of living in a non-residental building (an old bank, abandoned Burger King, etc.).  What non-house building would you most like to make a house out of?

Either a church or a barn. The idea of living in a church is so interesting to me, like, I’m talking like, old style cathedral too. I’d fucking adore. A clock tower would be neat too. There was a really pretty one in the town I grew up in and I always wanted to live in it so that I could go up into the clock part.

8. What is the video game you have put the most hours into?  Be honest!  Even if your answer seems silly or embarrassing, I promise I will love and respect you.  (Lord only knows that I have put an ungodly amount of time into games like Coloring Pixels and Cookie Clicker myself.)

AdVenture Capitalist. It’s just a point and click game about capitalism that i have put in over 800 hours because it used to help my anxiety a lot. Either that or Solitaire. I play a lot of Solitaire. 

9. What is something you like to buy or do as a treat to yourself on occasion?  I get sushi once a week!

I buy myself flowers once a month. It makes me very happy. 

10. Favorite.  Cryptid.  Or favorite urban legend in general.

Big Foot. I fucking love that guy. 

11. What is one of the strangest things you have ever had to research for a roleplay?

Okay, so, I play a lot of really smart characters, so the amount of bullshit I have researched for that. Like, I could never think of just one thing. Donnie has given me many a late night research binge just on his own.. 

my questions for you

1) If you got a cat, or another cat, right now, what would you name it? ( I’d choose Hugo or Elias! )

2) If you had to pick a favourite ninja turtle on vibes alone, who would it be? ( mines still Donnie )

3) What is the one character you’d love to play but don’t think there’s a demand for? ( mine is Sylas from Never Satisfied )

4) What farm do you choose in Stardew Valley with the most regularity? If you don’t play, just put your favourite video game here. ( I like the regular farm myself )

5) What is your favourite ship dynamic? ( I love big, loveable goofball meets small, feral gremlin )

6) What’s your favourite kind of bird? ( I love house sparrows and hummingbirds )

7) Mickey Mouse of Bugs Bunny? ( Mickey <3 )

8) You’re going into witness protection and have to choose a new name, what do you choose? ( I’d probably choose Dallas or Beatrice ) 

9) Are you capable of keeping houseplants alive? ( I am not. )

10) Alright, you’re stuck on the moon. What three items do you want? ( non-survival items, be fun )

11) Who’s your favourite Chris? ( Pine or Ricci )

[prettyoddfever]

P!ATD’s tweets leading up to South Africa

THE MAIN POST

Brendon got twitter at this point and Jon followed shortly after, so the band’s all here. Sometimes stuff tweeted after midnight might be listed in a date that’s technically off, but I tried my best to put everything in order:

highlights from MARCH 29-30

Shane @ Spencer: wake up! I just wrote this 412 page silent film I want to shoot before breakfast. Its like Jaws, but without the sharks.

Spencer: DeathProof...makes me think of putting the invincible code on in Golden Eye for N64...I always rewind the crash Pete Wentz’s reply: i remember always playing as oddjob and using proximity mines.... youre the tour manager tomorrow- dont blow it. Spencer’s reply: Well I learned from the worst so we should be all good.....Its all about Baron Samedi with the RPC-90.

Ryan: Guilt tripper (Ryan & Zack were tweeting back & forth a lot today so I’ll just leave one comment from Ryan: I had some great dreams last night involving a pet bobcat in Hawaii)

Ryan @ Shane: Shane where have you been all my life? Shane’s reply: want to dress up like Indians and ride dirt bikes? Ryan’s reply: let's do it right now

Ryan: King Baby is the one who rules the roost.

Ryan: Bringing back bleached hair and puka shells Spencer’s reply: Do you know where to get the post man finish dickies shorts? Ryan’s reply: yea, I know a place on sahara and jones..ill get you a few pair?

MARCH 31

Shane:  Brendon, spencer, and I are up early today, heading to Jay Leno.. Tune in tonight!

Spencer: It's not often you get to see 3 pony tails before lunch!

Spencer: We are here.. first two to meet us get tickets to see falloutboy w/ Brendon tonight on leno (and then Spencer added “and a mango mojito!!”) Ryan’s reply: ...I'm too late aren't I

Eric @ Ryan: HA! guess we can't make it in time either Ryan’s reply: Are you coming home tonight?

(Eric was also tweeting Shane & Zack like normal but only going to bring in stuff from Shane, Eric, Dan Angel/Griffith, Pete, & Alex Greenwald when it gives context to what the 4 main band members are saying... for now I’ll post  I didn’t save much from Zack and can’t grab it now so he’s not really an option, sorry).

Ryan: "Awesome" may be the funniest episode of Tim and Eric yet.

Ryan: Almost forgot to get Jon. 11:11 wish- flight don't be delayed the cops at the airport are suspicious.

APRIL 1

Ryan: beard me.

Ryan: Drinking pork wine eating port rinds.

Brendon: now, does having an april birthday make one an april fool? in my case, most likely.

Spencer: Rehearsal for South Africa today, were honing our spear throwing skills and british accents, then we'll get to some songs.

Spencer: Got your sherrifs badge?

Spencer: We had to untangle a rats nest, but we got it...now playing 'go home grandpa'  Ryan’s reply: Join my fanclub Santa?

Brendon: just cursin and rehearsin.

Eric: Grandpa's fanclub

Spencer @ Zack: Are you gonna switch to desert camo for Africa?

Ryan: My fingers hurt. I'm pretty sure the only known cure for this is Thai food.

Ryan tweeted Alex that he’d see him tomorrow

Spencer: testing with testosterone. jon walker.

Ryan: "Weren't you going to ask me if I've raced anybody?" "Yea have you?" "Raced a Ferrari, beat it." Shane’s reply: Thats just ridiculous no one could beat my Ferrari. Ryan’s reply: hahaha

APRIL 2

Ryan: Just beat the original Ninja Turtles arcade game with Jon.

Ryan: I am tired, I am weary, I could sleep for a thousand years.

Ryan: since everyone at my house has gone to bed I will answer to as many replies as possible in the next 10 minutes – someone asked “in what sense is Mad as Rabbits about love?” and Ryan said “In the universal sense” – a fan asked why Brendon wasn’t following Ryan on Twitter and Ryan said “I'm not following him either....hmm” (fans were making such a big deal out of the stressful tension of Ryan & Brendon acting like the other didn’t exist all spring).

Ryan: this is how you write a song.

Shane: rummaging around for Brendon’s passport

Ryan: I thought I just heard Roky Erickson sing something about cell phones in a song written in the 60's.Maybe he really is an alien. Or I'm deaf

Brendon: spence and shane, bfff.

Spencer @ Dan Angel: do you know where Brendon left the camera?

Spencer @ Zack: Why is his name Zack? Why am I on this website?

Brendon: hey, remember that time when i would only smoke marlboros? nat shermans? black&milds?  (I’m leaving out a lot of the replies to Zack because they don’t mean much without his comments... but Brendon replied): i hope they have black&milds in south africa. or "BM" as we call it.. or wait, was that something else?..

Ryan (after midnight): JJAMZ experienced for the first time (this wasn’t part of his tweet, but it’s from that show)

APRIL 3

Spencer: First thing to hit my stomache, a beautiful blend of 6 different liquors.

Brendon’s reply to Spencer: what's up dude?! can't wait to see your ass in south africa ;) Spencer’s reply: Yeah man, it is a nice ass..we just took 'foghat' on a walk, performed like a champion. Did you pick up the rhino urine? Brendon’s reply: yeah man, i've got all the hyena and rhino urine we need for that safari, no doubt. (also: "urine" and "urie".. haha)

Spencer: Second...cpkbbqchknsld.

Brendon: rippin Bar Louie a new one. then letting Bar Louie rip me a new one..

Jon’s first tweet: i dont know what im doing

APRIL 4

Brendon: Check this video out -- "My Pet Monster" Spencer’s reply: When are we getting samurai armor? We need to hold a shogun battle royale. Brendon’s reply: I wholeheartedly agree.. Maybe we can find the armor from TMNT3, that'd be neat Spencer’s reply: If not, at least some foot clan outfits, just don't kick me in the chest.

Spencer @ Brendon: have you seen this... My 29 piecer will be alive soon. Brendon’s reply: dude.. insane ha. we gotta get you that 29-piecer ;)

Jon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkkBhEomlUg

Spencer: Just watched Padma from top chef seductively lick bacon from a western bacon cheeseburger. Good job Carl, you got me. Ryan’s reply: I saw that too, my new favorite commercial.

Spencer: Figuring out who's headlining Break-Fest.

Jon: Who is this?

Jon @ Spencer: you gotta get IT Spencer’s reply: you GOTTA get it

Jon @ Ryan: what happened to you?

Jon @ Brendon: they love her for the Kingston sound Brendon’s reply: flava flav and i-c-e once said somethin that made me want to burn my liquor store down to the ground

Shane @ Brendon: how’s the snorkeling? Brendon’s reply: dude! tried my hand at some "cherry wheat ale" tonight. pretty tasty ha

Jon (I think he found Ryan a couple hours later): Froggys

Ryan: The more the scarier.

APRIL 5

Brendon: some people want answers, but i've never really been good at explaining myself

Jon: Marley

Spencer: Here is the winner of our UrieLove campaign  (this picture was old)

(Spencer also tweeted his sisters... I just wanted to add that bit since he recently deleted all of his tweets and those parts were cute. I wish I had done this post last month when Spencer’s tweets were still available but at least I have most stuff).

Jon: Half-speed mastered Japanese pressed vinyl using high-end recording equipment and the best sources of vinyl in prestine/mint condition Spencer’s reply: ahhh I see you found my Screeching Weasel/Lagwagon split 10" EP auction

Jon: The Sandlot 3 starring Luke Perry, directed by William Dear (Angels in the Outfield, 1 episode of 'Dinosaurs') Rated PG for some rude humor.

Brendon: just finished a very cold performance for coke. and was definitely the most awkward dude there. but in the presence of greatness.

(Zack tweeted a couple pictures – I liked this one most):

Brendon: yeah, im doin the drywall up there at the new McDonald's

Jon: Roommatist

Ryan: Farewell America get together

Jon: Keeping warm

Eric (a little after midnight): shit sounds good in here!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #289

“life by life / waste to waste / i’m the harbinger, the master of decay”

How often do you watch the news? Never. Would you rather read the news online? Yeah. Speaking of being online, what website do you visit the most? YouTube. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty. Ever caught a turtle? What about a crawfish? Turtles, yes, as a kid. Please do not take animals out of the wild for no good reason, people. I never touched crawfish because they looked scary lmao. Have you ever eaten gumbo? Idk what that is. Or do you not like spicy food? I enjoy spicy food, but not nearly as much as when I was a teen. Back then, I loved the adrenaline rush, now I just wanna enjoy my food like a normal person, lol. Do you own a bottle of hand sanitizer? Do you like how it smells? Does anyone NOT at this time? Or even before, really? But anyway, no, I don't like the smell. Do you own a pool table? What about an air hockey table? Or a foosball table? Okay so one of the coolest things we had when I was younger was this table that had different "tops" to change out to turn it into various games like these. Like, it was all in one. I don't THINK we still have it? Do you live with your parents? Are you cool with that? I live with my mom, and right now, it's the better idea for many reasons. I feel like shit about it, though. I'm nearly 25. Even if I was financially independent though, I would not be able to handle living all alone with my depression and all. When did/when do you want to move out? Hopefully when I have a stable job and long-term relationship. Have you ever been on a cruise? No. Are you better at catching or throwing? Probably throwing. I can't catch for shit. Do you ever play computer games? Just WoW nowadays. Did you used to have a lunchbox? Yeah, I went through a few. How often do you/did you bring your lunch to school? Whenever I didn't like what was on the menu. And mind you, I was and still am very picky. What was/is your favorite school lunch? I think the chicken sandwiches. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind of hat was it? Oh yikes, who on Earth knows. It has to have been years. Maybe a Carolina Hurricanes one to a hockey game I went to with Dad. I don't really wear hats. Have you ever tried to ghost hunt? If so, did you catch anything? No. Do you prefer gold or silver? What about diamonds or pearls? Earrings or bracelets? Necklace or rings? Or are you not a jewelry person? Gold; diamonds; earrings; rings (I think). I don't care all that much about jewelry, though. Have you ever made jewelry? Not really, just kiddy crafts stuff. Do you have any unique hobbies? Meerkat RP. Have you ever broken a window? If so, what with? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever had surgery? If so, what on? Yeah. I had tubes put in my ears as a kid, and I had a cyst removed from... directly above my ass lmaoooo. Pilonidal cysts are awesome. Do you know any boys named Ashley or Lesley or Lynn? I don't believe so. Do you prefer coffee or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate, for sure. Do you like green tea? Tea is gross. Do you like to play Freecell? What about Hearts? Or Mahjong? I only know Mahjong, and I've never played that. I used to watch Mom play it on the computer as a kid, though. Idr the rules. Does your family own guns? No. Have you ever been given flowers? Were they from a relative or someone special? Both. Have you ever ridden on a motorcycle? No, and I doubt I will. I'm not like... really scared of them, as a matter of fact they seem really fun, they're just too risky for my liking. Have you ever seen a dead body? At an open-casket wake, yes. What does your umbrella look like? It's just an ordinary black one. Is anyone you know pregnant? HOLY FUCK, I think 90% of my Facebook friends are preggo. It seems like EVERYONE is expecting. Ha, one of my closest friends is legit pregnant with triplets after JUST having a son... She's in for a ride. Does your family do reunion gatherings? No, we're too spread out. What would you order to drink if you were in a bar right now? A strawberry sangria sounds pretty great. When was the last time you had a first kiss? I'm guessing you mean like, my first kiss with the last person I was with? A few summers ago when we were out on the porch making s'mores and dancing like some cheesy fucks lmao. How many homes have you ever lived in? If you don't count the apartment I wasn't an official resident of or staying with a friend for a month due to homelessness, we just moved into our fifth. Or sixth. It's too early when I'm taking this for math. Have you ever donated money to charity? Yeah. What’s your favourite type of exercise? Swimming. How many jobs have you had? Three or four... I'm not even sure because they were so incredibly short because fuck me and my anxiety, right? Who do you stalk the most through Facebook? Nobody. Have you ever deleted your Facebook, then brought it back? No. Write the first song that pops into your head: Well, I'm listening to "Freak On a Leash" right now. Has anything interesting come for you in the mail lately, besides bills? Nah. What is your main responsibility each day? Making sure my cat has food, water, and a clean litterbox. Do you feel like you fulfill those responsibilities? Yeah. I've slacked on the box before on bad mental health days where I can barely force myself to do anything, but I'm usually on top of it. Were you in the wrong during your last argument with someone? I don't recall what my last argument was. I think something w/ Mom. What bands did you used to love, that you don’t listen to much anymore? Hm. It's pretty rare I leave behind bands I've LOVED, so. Are you counting down to anything? tomorrow crihmus When was the last time you used spray paint? Oh, I have no idea. Maybe for an art project in HS? What color are the chairs at your kitchen table? Brown. Have you ever or do you plan on donating to any charities? Which ones? I've donated to some you would like pass by in the store if I had some spare coins or dollars on me, and when I cut my hair to as short as it is now, I donated it all to Children With Hair Loss. One of my most cherished memories is getting the certificate that it was used. I'm sure there's more, especially for school, but idr them. I 110% want to donate to charity streams when I have my own income source. Do you believe that life only gets harder or easier? I mean, this depends on your unique life. Do you know the middle name of the last person you kissed? Hm. I don't think Girt has a middle name, and I don't think Tyler ever told me because he was embarrassed by it. I know Sara's. Have you ever had sex with 2 different people in the same week? No. Who is the friendliest person you know? Probably my friend Girt. Last song you listened to? "Milk and Cookies" by Melanie Martinez is on rn. Something that annoys you about summer: Just ONE thing???? Just about everything does. The only thing I enjoy is all the flowers. Well hell, that's even mostly a spring thing. It's mostly just... plain green in the summer. At least here. Too hot for damn flowers to survive. Something that annoys you about winter: The fact that if it snows here, we get barely anything at all. e_e Are the doors of your fridge side by side or on top of one another? Side by side. When was the last time you burned a body part other than your hands/fingers? I actually just burned the roof of my mouth yesterday. If you’ve moved out of the house you were born in, do you know the people who live in that house now? Nope. What’s one food that you eat more than twice a week? Definitely some form of bread. Do you like zombie movies? No opinion, really. What's the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? UGH. This one time I was in the bathroom with Colleen (it's a girl thing lmao) at a gas station, she did what she normally does and checks under the seat, aND IT WAS COVERED IN BLOOD. It was fucking disgusting. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? Ugh... use plastic bags when disposing of Roman's "business" in the litterbox. I feel absolutely awful using one every other day. If I wait any longer than that, Mom gets mad. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? Probably to Jason via that letter. That honestly wasn't that difficult after having fully accepted I fucked up too, though. I don't generally find it hard to apologize when I know I was wrong. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? Fuck no. They depress the hell out of me. What was your worst Halloween costume? Idk, I don't remember almost any of mine. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? When I checked into the doctor by myself. Yes, I know how sad that is at nearly 25. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? As a kid, there was just one where I was disappointed in what I got. SO fucking ungrateful looking back on that shit. I can't even imagine feeling anything like that now. I cherish Christmas deeply, especially now with nieces and a nephew who experience such joy at Christmastime, and I get to see my dad and his wife and stepson, too. At this age, it truly is about family to me. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? I think we may have some princess ones and some "boy" kind for if the kids are ever over. AKA never because their dad is far more concerned about only including his family in their lives. I don't think Ryder's ever even visited our house, and he's like, four years old. My sister's husband's parents live directly down their road, but still. It hurts Mom and I a lot that we don't seem to matter when it comes to visiting *us*. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yeah, plenty of times with our old cat nest. What's the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? I dunno, probably something at Disney as a kid. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? Yeah. I had my "good guys" - a family of alligators, deer (um they were married and had kids don't ask me, man), and some Pokemon figurines - and three big dinos that were the "bad guys." How do you feel about runny egg yolks? Egg yolk is fucking repulsive. The one and only way it's going down my throat is in scrambled eggs. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Not that I remember. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? I dunno, I have so few already... Maybe World of Warcraft? I almost quit it recently anyway because I was bored and yet it took up so much of my time, but it'd be hard now with a new expansion having just come out with soooo much to do. Man... I dunno. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? No. How much do you know about first aid? No more than the average joe, really. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? Sadly, probably my dad's oldest daughter. I know only two things about her with certainty. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? Yes, and all it does is make me fidgety and lets me think too much. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? Hm... maybe when I was at a beach when I was on vacation with a friend? I was like, a pre-teen then though, so it's been forever. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? Not that I'm aware of. And honestly, I have mixed feelings, but I think I lean more towards it being just fine so long as boundaries are set and there are very clear understandings with each other. And you ABSOLUTELY need to be safe about it. I'd far rather people get off with a consenting individual than in... y'know, other ways. It's not my business, anyway. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? In high school, I did a huge acrylic painting on burlap of meerkats grooming. I am to this day still so proud of it; I worked so hard on it. I love how the fur came out, especially. I do wish I could do over the background, though. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Excluding the obvious birds, there are tons of squirrels, and you see opossum and racoon roadkill a lot, tragically... Every now and then, you'll see deer in fields in the morning or dusk. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Yeah, hot dog.s Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? I'm positive there's something. Probably everyone has an example. OH! Looking in just my room, Venus' terrarium has saran wrap covering the top to help keep humidity in. What do you hope the afterlife is like? Really, I go back and forth between hoping it's like... this state of nirvana and where you reunite with loved ones and experience infinite peace if deserved, or just the entire lack of existence anymore. I wonder sometimes if I'd want to be sentient forever. But, with me believing in a spirit realm, I don't think the latter is the case. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? I think I once saw a kid smack their parent's arm or something? I don't really know. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? "No, but i daydream about it." <<<< Ha, yeah, I have. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? Yeah. Mom surprised me when she told me she likes writing (even though I never see her do it), and Dad likes video games. Do you have any physical photo albums? Yes. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? NOPE. Who was the worst friend you ever had? It's funny, Colleen did incredible things for me, but she also fits this description, too... Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? I mean, I voted, does that count? What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? I have no idea. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Dad got along perfectly fine with his parents, but my mom and her mother had a rocky history. Grammy treated her awfully sometimes. They'd been fine for many, many years, but Mom could never forget some things and always felt like she wasn't "good enough" in her eyes. I'm pretty sure Mom got along just fine with her dad. Do you have any framed photos of your pet(s)? Yes. Do you share photos of your pet(s) on social media? Um, duh. In 3 words, describe the last male you talked to. Who WAS the last guy I talked to... Do you own any of your favorite films on DVD? Which one(s)? No. Have you watched anything on Netflix lately? No. The last thing I did on Netflix was watch the first episode of The Witcher, and even though I liked it, I didn't continue. I just... don't enjoy watching TV, especially if it really requires you to pay attention. Have you ever heard someone snoring and thought it sounded cute? Besides animals, no. Are you particular about what you eat? In what way(s)? Yeah, I'm VERY picky, especially with textures. Is anyone close to you particular about what they eat? In what way(s)? Yes, my niece. She's autistic and has the symptom of being incredibly picky with things like textures, too. She is the one child I have ever known that doesn't really like eating. Is there someone in your life who can always make you smile? Always, no. Have you worn lipstick at any time recently? What color? No. I last wore black forever ago just to take pictures. Do you like wearing eyeshadow to match the color of your clothes? No; in the very rare instance I put on makeup, the eyeshadow is always black. What song reminds you of your childhood? Jesse McCartney songs, for sure. And Backstreet Boys. What’s your least favorite month? Maybe August. I'm sick and beyond tired of summer by that point. Nothing exciting going on. What do you do when you’re bored in class and not paying attention to the teacher? When I was in school, I honestly always paid attention because I wanted to pass. Have you ever baked a pie? No. Last person you shared food with? Mom. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Definitely not. Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? I don't think so, if that witchy photoshoot was the last time I had a pic taken of me. Do you answer the phones at your job? I did at two old jobs. Were you a hyper or mellow kid? I was kinda hyper. What are you drinking? Would you believe me if I answered "water"????? Did you get any compliments today? No. What last made you laugh? I think a moment in a WoW stream I was watching last night. Which of your friends is the easiest to talk to? Sara. What was your best summer ever? /shrug Do you have a favourite sibling? No. What color is the blanket/quilt on your bed? Navy and black. Favorite milkshake flavour? Just chocolate. Sometimes I'm in the mood for vanilla, though. Best year of your life? 2017. It's funny how that year started with a suicide attempt but wound up being the best year of my life. NEVER hestitate to reach out for help when you need it. How loud do you like your music in the car? Too loud lmao. Prefer to write or read? Write. Favourite apps? Pokemon GO, haha. What is a fruit you refuse to eat? Absolutely refuse? Maybe like, cantaloupe. Would you rather gain weight or lose weight? It'd to fuckin fantastic if I could lose 100 pounds. :^) I gained like thirty since moving... Would you rather gain height or lose height? Gain a tiny bit, I guess? But I'm fine with where I'm at. Are both your eyes the same color? Yes. Do you like glittery things? Yes, but not touching them and getting glitter everywhere. Ever watched a play in the theatre? Yes, at Disney World and also for school field trips. How many followers do you have on instagram? A depressing amount for someone desperately trying to be a photographer lmaooo. I mean I don't post on it a lot, so that doesn't help, but yeah. My secondary photography account (for roadkill/vulture culture stuff) has more than my main one. How about twitter? Don't use it. How much would I have to pay you to get you to do karaoke? I don't know, I'd be terrified of embarrassing myself. Last time you went ice skating? Never. Painting or drawing? Drawing, by far. Art or science? Now that's tough, but art. Dancing or singing? Dancing. History or geography? Geography is interesting. Favourite season? Autumn. Do you watch Supernatural? I did up to the end of Season 6. I loved it, I just was losing interest in TV, and also Jason and I broke up (we always watched it together) so I didn't want to watch something triggering memories. If you could change your eye color would you? Yes, to either a pure sapphire blue or emerald green. Are both your ears pierced? Yes. Are you lying down? Yes. Is there a tv in your room? No. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Yeah. Do you like fortune cookies? Yeah, they're oddly tasty. Do you have anxiety? You fuckin bet I do. Favorite clothing shop? RebelsMarket. How do you feel about peeing in a cup at the hospital? Is it embarrassing? No? It's too normal to be embarrassing. I mean I wrap toilet paper around it so you don't actually see, y'know, but I'm not embarrassed carrying that. Do you prefer fruit or vegetables? Fruit, by a long shot. What do you hate being called? "Bee." An old best friend who did nothing but lie about her entire life called me that. What color is the last car you were in? White. Ever studied abroad? No. Ever pulled out a tooth? Yeah, when I was a kid. Three celebrity crushes? Mark Fischbach, Link Neal, Hannah Hart. Ever been married? No. Are you proud of yourself? In most ways, no. Do you like grapes? Yep. How often do you cook for your family? Never. Is anyone in your family a lawyer? My cousin is, actually. Is anyone in your family an architect? Don't think so. Own any crystals? No. Favourite thing to write with? (pen, pencil, highlighter) Pencil. Top 5 favourite alcoholic drinks? I don't know, I haven't tried enough that I actually enjoy. Would you date someone bald? Yeah. Would you date someone who doesn’t want kids? I don't want kids either, so that's the only kind of person I'd date. That's something you can't really disagree on if you plan on lasting. Do you like candles? Sure. Favorite memory with a sibling? I dunno, probably something from when we were little kids playing together.