#just gonna stick this in there in case anyone was interested

[puppy-the-mask]

Couldn't decide if i wanted to keep my initial idea of having her only have purple legs or if i wanted her to be fully purple since the outfit washes her out. Either way this is what she'd look like if Cas got caught by the Spider Queen! She is now 'Recluse*' the experiment. {* Name has since been changed to 'Fiddle')

{THE COLORS LOOK WAY DARKER ON MY PHONE- on my comp the purple looked more lavender. I don’t wanna edit it rn though cause I put my comp away :/ I’ll see about color picking from a different ref or something idk}

She isn't treated the best by the spider crew since she doesn't want to help them take over the world, constantly using her brain to figure out loopholes in the Queen's orders. Her personality is very casual despite her situation, constantly making jokes and teasing the others. If she wasn't so good at her job then spider queen would've gotten rid of her ages ago- the two have a very strained relationship because recluse will call SQ out when she thinks her plans are bad and find any way to challenge her that she's able. Despite this she's actually pretty nice towards the other spiders!

She has a love-hate relationship with Syntax. He finds her really annoying and thinks she's stupid- like the queen's own personal jester- she never takes anything seriously and it bugs him. Meanwhile Fiddle finds his insults funny and informative and actually likes his company- he's the one who she spends the most time with since he's trying to fix the venom she was injected with, constantly running tests and keeping her close in his lab. When it's later revealed that the venom is actually working as intended and she's been acting this whole time he's floored. He thinks his data is off or the tests got tampered with because there's no way that she could have been playing them this whole time. When she confirms this he suddenly sees her in a new light- drawn to intelligence he wants to know how smart and crafty she Really is. She becomes a puzzle he wants to solve. Fiddle is more open to letting hints of her true self slip in front of him because she relates to him, she wants to save him from the queen and help him lead a normal life again. She also just thinks its funny to see his face when she corrects him or adds onto a theory when he's thinking out loud- especially when she's Right.

Goliath is her buddy, her favorite spider of the bunch. He's the only one who goes out of his way to visit her in her little corner of the lab since she is/is going to be part of the group soon. He wants to make her assimilation into the group easy so they can work together flawlessly. Where with Syntax she purposely drops hints, with Goliath she legitimately is slipping up and letting her walls down. She talks about her past and hobbies and anything under the sun when they're having their private chats. They also work out together- both being brawlers they share tips and their routines. He's the only one of the group she'll sing for- though it's just small jingles or a couple lines whenever a song gets stuck in her head. He's the only one who can get close when she's going berserk- physical proof that she's starting to trust/care for him. He helps her look after her cat since she's cooped up in the lab almost 24/7. He gives me big bro of the group vibes- strong and silent but when he talks he can definitely talk some shit/sass. I feel like he'd make quiet offhanded comments when Syntax and Huntsman are bickering that Fiddle would pick up on and laugh with him about.

Huntsman is interesting because they don't have much to do with each other at first. He doesn't really interact with Fiddle unless he has to and finds her to be a waste of time and resources. An opinion he Loves to share with Syntax and hold over him since the new venom and experiment fall under his responsibility (Queen got tired of dealing with her even though the venom is supposed to be Her thing while Syntax is computers- she figures he's smart he'll figure it out) Though when the two actually talk he finds it kind of hard to keep an aggressive or mocking attitude, either his jabs roll off her like they're nothing and they end up having a semi-normal conversation after she steers him away from insults and into an actual topic. Or she's so weirdly positive that it infuriates him, he's not used to people reacting to him with kindness and positivity- especially when he's Trying to be Mean. He ends up leaving in a huff and sulking that He's the angry one now or finding something else to do to distract himself. After his encounter with Sandy is when things start calming down with him- he's nicer to her cat and even offers to look after it when Goliath can't. She still infuriates him but now it just reminds him of how Sandy was acting and gets him thinking about their encounter again... he kinda ignores her to avoid thinking about it too hard. But it'd start keeping him up and so he ends up coming to her to ask some questions and share some thoughts. She's completely blindsided that somehow Huntsman of all people has been sent down a redemption arc/is becoming self aware but wholeheartedly supports it and encourages him to come back and talk to her ("or this new person who's got you thinking- no? ok ok i don't mind the conversation anyways!"). She becomes something of a confidant to him since he feels he can't share this with the others and it's not like Fiddle would call treason considering her position, plus nobody would ever believe her if she tried!

I see Fiddle as their gofer- since her upper body looks normal enough she can go into town and buy (or steal) things for them without much fuss. Of course she's heavily monitored through a tracker and surrounding cameras but she likes doing grocery runs since she gets to go outside and have a couple minutes to feel like a normal person again. She also takes over chores and some of the cooking since they can't reliably make her do anything else. Spider Queen would've made her into her handmaiden, but doesn't trust that she won't ruin her clothes or hair or Something just to spite her.

And then there's LBD, Fiddle doesn't trust her and the only time she gets openly serious or actually acts like a part of the group is when she isn't around. She's constantly trying to advise SQ against having her around, she can Sense the power in her and does not trust it for a second. She's spent lifetimes dealing with demons and there's no way someone with that much power is just here to help SQ of all people. She doesn't know who she is, the true extent of her power, nor her motive, but Fiddle avoids LBD like the plague. Once SQ finally gets wise to LBD's true nature Fiddle doesn't hesitate to tell her they should run- where Huntsman chokes Fiddle is standing up and saying it without a hint of fear for her queen. She may not like the woman but the venom compels her to do whatever it takes to keep her safe and there's no way they can take LBD on while still sharing the underground caverns. They need to get far away and regroup because she obviously wanted Something from them and the mech isn't complete yet. In this Au the spiders survive at the cost of Connie, Fiddle unleashes the full might of the consumption to hold LBD and the Mayor off so the others can get away and gets captured. idk if they needed SQ specifically or just a powerful demon's soul so i'm going with the latter in this one. There's specifics to what happens exactly for they to get connie without killing Fiddle- who ends up getting away thanks to a last act by Connie- but that'd be a bit graphic so lets just say the jacket used to have sleeves 6-6 anyways during the fight Fiddle gets to help by tapping into her connection with Connie- who was used to make the mech- and waking them up so to speak- having them help destroy the mech from the inside, then after LBD's defeat Fiddle reclaims the lost shards and her little sibling. Lots of character development could happen in the time they were apart, relationships could change and the spiders could become more of a closer knit group- maybe pull a DBK and chill out on the world conquering idk. this is just a base idea but a fun one to consider. i could just let lbd have sq but there's no way the others would let her get captured without dying first and the venom still affects Fiddle so she can't leave her either (even if she really wants to)

[toxycodone]

𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘰𝘳 !

𝘤𝘸. 𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘦

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘰𝘴, 𝘬𝘢𝘣𝘳𝘶, 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘤𝘬

Laios:

I genuinely think Laios is attracted to the unconventional or stereotypically attractive. Anyone with unique features, personality quirks, etc. If you don't fit in, you're more willing to catch his eye.

He finds it difficult to really like? Gain an interest in someone who doesn't really "stick out". I think it's clear with the way he treats Kabru that like! People kinda are a blur to him! So! anything that makes someone stick out will catch his interest and he'd be more willing to remember them + actually continue to think about them.

MUST. Share his interest in monsters/animals. This is very important. Like there must be a shared interest there whether its just about anatomy, behavior, etc. I just think he needs to be accepted to talk about this and share fun facts. He likes it. Cooking or an interest in food would also be another plus.

Also just? He likes really easygoing people who aren't super judgemental. Laios is really unapologetically himself and he gets chewed out for it by his friends enough. He's very self aware when it comes to his own issues (esp by the end of the manga) so. Yeah. Just someone who he doesn't feel the need to mask around.

Honestly, maybe someone childish would fit his vibe too? I mean this in a more lighthearted sense. Like someone he could play tag with or goof around in the woods with. He missed out on being a kid for a while, and he's still kinda interested in stuff like that (bug collecting, cool rocks, etc.). Even in post manga he still wants this.

Also uhhhh beastkin/monsters/whatever of any kind get bonus points. Do they have to be this way? No. But. It would definitely do some favors to be feral/wild in some way like this.

Kabru:

Okay I am not saying this is healthy or anything, but Kabru is ridiculously attracted to fixer-uppers. The main character/savior/hero complex kicks in and he cannot help it.

This can either be super good for him if the person is like. not terrible and is actually okay with this. but uh. that isn't always the case. Bro is often setting himself up for some sort of situationship most of the time. He cannot catch a break.

But he totally needs to be confronted about this to have a relationship work out. Hope you can be at least a little assertive!

Oh and the people pleasing. It's going so far. Please, I-....

He needs to be stopped.

Ultimately. He's gonna go after the people who show the least interest in him and this SPECIFICALLY comes from his own insecurities as a person.

But in the end he's gonna truly fall for someone who can put their foot down and confront him about these issues. He's so insightful and perceptive when it comes to others and can easily point out and help you with you're own shortcomings. But he is super blind to his own faults. Legit does not. Even realize.

He honestly needs someone to help him grow, because in my eyes I can see him like even post manga being pretty stagnant here so . Yeah. You don't need to be like some badass assertive person either. As long as you can just sit down and have a serious conversation w him about this I think it'd go well.

And he'd fall for you because I think it's the first time he genuinely sees someone who recognizes things that are bad about him + still loves him despite that + wants him to grow as a person and assert his own wishes and needs more. Yeah. I just have a lot of feelings about that.

Chilchuck:

This goes two ways.

Non Toxic Route

He'd easily see himself falling for someone mature and responsible. It would start out as just a professional admiration but it would slowly become more intimate as Chilchuck starts to enjoy their more unique personality traits (and even ones he'd consider annoying) --like being feisty, or maybe they're picky, or they can be silly sometimes. That type of thing.

It's a total slow burn with him.

But he also likes people who are more lowkey. Chilchuck is not a "falls for you immediately/puppy love" kinda guy. He's jaded and has a past and has KIDS so. He needs to be treated gently and not rushed into things. Anyone who lets him come to them and start to be more affectionate without demanding it...yeah. Handle him with care PLEASE.

And speaking of this...he wants to keep up appearances since he does value his professional life and has kids and an ex-wife. So he wants someone that can blend into this life without causing drama or more headaches (his party gives him plenty. pls.)

"Toxic"/Not Gonna Last Route

Chilchuck is easily motivated by the more basic pleasures of life, so I can definitely see him having a bootycall that becomes some weird "what are we" type of vibe.

He's like...in the back of his mind the type to enjoy a "dirty little secret". Something he thinks only him and this person know about. But as time goes on he eventually gets emotionally involved with them and is like "we need to cut this off".

It is an extremely painful breakup on his end for sure and makes him more jaded when its literally! His own fault.

[vonlycaonwife]

May I ask if you could write a Lycaon x AMAB Reader whereas the reader was patiently waiting for Lycaon to return while helping the proxy and suddenly gets kidnapped by the ethereals?

This was an interesting idea! Though I do apologize that I didn’t stick with the ethereal part of this! I hope you enjoy it either way!

Warnings: kidnapping

Oh, I don't think anyone has seen him lose his composer any worse than this moment.

It was just any other day, and he was returning home from work. He expected to be greeted by the sight of his partner on the couch doing his daily activities. But instead all he could see was an empty home.

He didn't think much of it, besides it being odd. But it was only once he sensed an odd smell that he realized what could've happened.

He searched the area frantically, searching for any clues he could find about what took place. That's when he would find a note from the kidnappers, some petty gang members from the fake Mockingbird that wanted revenge.

Oh he was pissed, he's immediately sending a message to Phaethon asking for assistance. While he would rather rush in, he knew it would be better to have a proxy just in case.

Once the quick preparations are met nothing is stopping him from rescuing his partner.

He doesn't hold anything back while fighting, most likely scaring the proxy siblings. But they don't blame him since they understand his anger.

Once they find him, Lycaon is quick to dispatch anyone in his way. His fighting is much less refined and more like a wild animal as he tries to get to his partner's side. He would be close to killing some of them if he noticed his s/o being badly injured, nothing could really stop his wrath then.

But once he's successfully saved his partner, he immediately brings him to urgent care. Once his partner is in proper hands, he's giving a quick call to the other members of Victoria Housekeeping, giving them a quick explanation for him not being able to work for the next few days.

He's not gonna leave his side for awhile after this incident, and definitely will take extra measure to ensure anyone he slights in the future won't use his partner as a way to get revenge on him.

[strawbeelemonade]

ROMANTIC HEADCANNONS: Hobart Brown

i don't know much about Hobbie, just what i've seen of him in the trailer. i think he's fun! :D this was made before the movie's come out by the way, so we're going off the barebones research ive done on the wiki and my silly brain impulses.

🕷- If Hobart has a crush on you, you will probably not know about it.

🕷- But there will be signs.

🕷- He doesn’t project a lot of his feelings on the surface. He keeps his cool in most cases. But you WILL get little smiles and hums occasionally.

🕷- When you mention you liked one of his guitar picks, he’ll give it to you.

🕷- He’s not afraid of eye contact, especially with you.

🕷- While he randomly practices he might catch you watching him in awe, and when your eyes meet he won’t look away.

🕷- He starts playing faster.

🕷- He’ll greet you first out of anyone in a group every time. Even if he has to walk passed someone else to say hi.

🕷- He seeks you out first and gives you a little “hey.”

🕷- If he’s sat and you come over he’ll pat the spot next to him.

🕷- “C’mere.”

🕷- Is comfortable sitting in complete silence.

🕷- If you you don’t have any spider powers and you guys have to run he will grab you.

🕷- No questions asked. YOINK.

🕷- His outfits are full of sharp edges and spikes, so he’s mindful. But there’s a sweet spot tucked right at his side with a space between his collar and jaw for your head to rest.

🕷- He likes it. Keep your head there.

🕷- He’s always coloured his nails in with sharpie, but If your lucky he might even let you do it.

🕷- If you have nail polish on hand he’ll let you paint his nails instead, which he ends up preferring the look of and might make the switch.

🕷- Polish is way messier, though. So he was hoping you’d do it whenever he sees you.

🕷- He’ll do yours. Give him your hand.

🕷- No matter how tall you are, Hobart will almost certainly be taller.

🕷- while holding a conversation he’ll get closer to you then he would with other people.

🕷- He’ll greet you by locking your fingers with his in a high five format… if that makes sense

🕷- His hands are huge, and unusually warm. You tell him it’s nice.

🕷- His reaction time is crazy, if a projectile is headed your way, and he can stop it? Best believe he’s gonna catch that shit. And chances are he’ll be close enough to you to just stick his arm in front of your face and stop it.

🕷- He will opt to stay close to you.

🕷- If you give him any band pins or patches he will put that on the front of his jacket. If there’s no room he’ll make some.

🕷- He has an affect on the emotional environment in a room.

🕷- If someone tries to intimidate or square up to him chances are they are gonna look pretty stupid. He’s just unbothered.

🕷- If someone tries to bother you he’ll let his presence be all the message they need to get lost. He won’t budge, no matter what. He’ll look out for you, Dw.

🕷- He will stand behind you and just watch them with this foul, unimpressed look on his face.

🕷- Canonically Hobart is super politically active, so his moral compass is strong. he stands up for what’s right and defends what he believes in. If he defends you, it will mean a lot.

🕷- If you’re anxious, scared or stressed you can hang out with him for maybe like 5 minutes and you’ll immediately feel better. He likes that you come to him for things like that.

🕷- You make him relax easily. You’ll have no idea, but you have a huge affect on him.

🕷- I can imagine he writes music in his free time, he might play a song or two for you if your interested…

🕷- He’ll get a little shy, so make sure to tell him how cool you think it is!!

🕷- You make him go shy more than you realise.

🕷- In his universe Hobart has canonically experienced homelessness, so basic amenities that you might take for granted mean a lot to him. He’ll share what he has with you, no matter how small of a thing it is.

🕷- If you packed a little lunch or grabbed a snack from somewhere and share some with him then he will smile a bit.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: january 2025

I'm a bit behind on getting this posted, so I'm gonna do it quick and dirty. this is not the most elaborate reading round-up I'm ever going to do, and that's okay!!! january has gotten off to a weird, uneven start in terms of reading, and that is what it is!

The Extinction of Irena Rey (Jennifer Croft, 2024) - this book is great for anyone who likes dark academia but wants to see what those students will be like when they’re adults who have to get by outside of college. in this case, they become translators for an enigmatic woman who makes them gather in a remote Polish forest and then disappears. pure vibes all the way down; truly things just happen in this book. the gimmick of the novel itself being a work by one of the characters, told from her perspective, and then translated by another character that the narrator despises, is soooo rich and interesting, and I deeply wish it had been used much more extensively.

Darknesses (Lachelle Seville, 2022) - is this book good? I couldn’t possibly say. it was very fun to read on vacation with like 12% of my brain operating. the best way I can possible explain it is that by the time the book is over it feels like Seville is running one of those old ask blogs where artists would have their blorbos and their OCs answer questions and hang out and stuff. do you know the kind I’m talking about? it’s like that, it’s dissociative identity disorder Dracula and the descendants of the human Dracula characters and Norse mythology werewolves and a vampire bunny and a dragon and Satan who’s a teenage girl with pink hair and they’re all hanging out in New York City. don’t think too hard about it. 

Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps to Attracting Your Perfect Mate (Patti Stanger with Lisa Johnson Mandell, 2009) - I’m not proud of this and I can’t really justify it except that my housemates and I have gotten really into watching old episodes of Patti Stanger’s terrible TV show, Millionaire Matchmaker. the show is atrocious and so is the book but in my defense it’s extremely funny.

Queen Takes Rose (Katee Robert, 2020) - guys I can’t stand Katee Robert. I really can’t. I thought it was going to be fun but god this just sucked.

Adam & Evie's Matchmaking Tour (Nora Nguyen, 2024) - after that last one I really needed a good, normal romance novel to get me back on track, and this delivered! I don’t think it’s going to be one of my all-time faves, but the characters are lovably realistic losers and I was really rooting for them—especially Evie, who feels like a messy bitch I would love to hang out with. plus the setting, a romping tour across the sights of Vietnam, was so fun and I’m always willing to award points to a romance novel that supports telling your awful to fuck off right to hell!

Mystery Lights (Lena Valencia, 2024) - here’s the thing. every short story in this collection is a well written, coherent short story. thematically there are really clear throughlines; you’ll get a lot of mileage out of this if you like middle aged women who have complicated relationships with their daughters between the ages of 13 and 23. I really wanted to like this! and yet, I feel like this collection just isn’t going to stick with me very well. there are some cool concepts and ideas (there’s a creepy story involving a little girl who disappears into some underground caves and comes back Weird that actually spooked me pretty good) but overall I feel like it’s just not going to stick with me :/

Is Love the Answer? (Uta Isaki, 2021; trans. Sawa Matsueda Savage, 2023) - huge thanks to the person who sent me an ask to recommend this manga! it’s a very quick, sweet read about a university student coming into her aroace identity with the help of a circle of newfound friends supporting her along the way. I really liked the way it delves into the way anxiety can have you second-guessing and overthinking your sense of self even after embracing an identity. this was my Heartstopper (I say, without having ever read Heartstopper).

The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse (Louise Erdrich, 2001) - I picked this up at Erdrich’s bookstore, Birchbark Books & Native Arts, last summer while I was briefly in Minneapolis, on recommendation by an employee at the store. I was initially hesitant about the novel’s focus on spirituality and religion, given that it follows a Catholic priest working on an Ojibwe reservation throughout the 20th century, but man, this was an incredible introduction to Erdrich’s work. Father Damian Modeste is an incredible character and one of my favorite depictions I’ve ever seen of a woman living long-term in disguise as a man, and how the line between those identities blurred. there’s a scene I don’t think I’ll ever forget, in which Modeste is asked, essentially, “Are you a man or a woman?” and answers firmly “I’m a priest.” and all the while, despite the fact that he’s supposed to be an agent of colonization and the destruction of indigenous culture, more than anything he is changed by the Ojibwe people he works with. it’s a surprising, elegant book, and I was shaken to find myself crying at the end. 

A Magical Girl Retires (Park Seolyeon, 2022; trans. Anton Hur 2024) - this book is a short, rapid-fire read that’s a dry, funny take on the magical girl genre. our protagonist starts the book so mired in credit card debt that she’s considering jumping off a bridge when she’s summoned to be a magical girl, and things will only get weirder for her from there as Korea’s magical girl union recruits her to help them combat climate change. a fun read, easy to polish off in a single sitting at less than 200 pages.

salt slow (Julia Armfield, 2019) -now THIS was the short story collection I was waiting for! it reminded me so much of why I loved Armfield’s novel Our Wives Under the Sea. she has another new novel out this year and I’m really looking forward to reading that as well! she has an incredible way with love and melancholy.

[gallapiech]

Some of the art I've done for the currently released chapters of Highway of Hedonism :) [READ IT HERE]

+ some wip stuff in case anyone is interested in that lol

I'm a very visual person (duh) So I struggle a lot with getting my thoughts across through words, so sometimes while discussing the drawings with rory, I had to quickly doodle them with stick figures on my phone to get my idea across. It certainly made some, masterpieces !

The club drawing was initially gonna be different! But I struggled too much with it lol so we decided to change it.

It makes me think of that one image of the stick figures playing basketball and then one sucks out the other's soul through its face lmao (yall know which one im talking about?)

This is a sketch I found of the bed drawing :) Pretty self explanatory !

The car one was also gonna be a bit different at first! I rotated it because i figured with the smoke that would be more atmospheric or whatever lol

The sketch of Ian w/ his hand out in the car was created by Rory! So I'll give her the honor of posting that if she desires :) If y'all want to see more of these for the other drawings of the fic please lmk!!! I always enjoy seeing progress stuff, but maybe that's just a me thing lmao ♥

[konnosaurus]

after all this time working on them, konno finally has humanisations!! just these guys for now but there will indeed be more to come. i've had so much fun with these so i hope that you guys like them :3 they Will be showing up alongside my engine stuff hehe!

i'm gonna stick some design notes under the cut in case anyone is interested!:

thomas:

actually the last of these i designed. as always, i find him Difficult, but i am happy with what i have done :3

the bracelet around his ankle was made by percy- james and percy also have them, just in different places. thomas doesn't like things around his wrists or arms in general (no tight sleeves, either!) so has his on his ankle!

originally the jacket was a non-zipped hoodie but it didn't feel Dynamic enough for him, so i decided to go for the open jacket look. it feels more active- perfect for the cheeky lad himself.

he does know how to tie his laces, he just Cannot Be Bothered.

edward:

this design came the most naturally. i didn't really have to do any second guessing or anything- edward is edward and he just felt like edward to me!

of these seven, he is the only one who wears glasses. he is NOT, however, the only one who needs glasses. gordon, james and emily should heed his advice and get some themselves (they will not.)

originally his trousers were going to be a much darker brown, but the lighter just felt a lot more old-man-comforting which i feel fits his pizazz better.

henry:

henry :3

henry is the sort of person to have a little bag that just contains like,, Anything that one could need in a situation. you require an item? henry has it!

the long skirt was initially alllll the way to the floor, but i wanted to show a bit of boot to make it just,, lightly more practical than a full floor-length one. it is a very swishy skirt.

henry has my favourite face/hair design of them all i just love how poofy the hair is and the little EXPRESSIONNNN!

gordon:

mr professionally dressed!

he wears old man shoes because i can't imagine gordon not wearing old man shoes even though he does not consider himself an old man. someone calls them old man shoes and he goes home and cries.

he's got some Muscle to him- beneath those sleeves he has got the p o w e r. also a bit of chink- not all that much, but he is noticably Wide as well as Tall.

james:

my favourite design for my favourite little lad!

i wanted him to be flashy but not Overly obnoxious- his vest is bright and his jewelry is dramatic but he also has some more muted colours. having a scheme is very important to him- the only thing that breaks it is the friendship bracelet from percy that he has on his wrist.

he has long boots because he would have long boots <3

the red strips in his hair are entirely just because he wants to be more red and more colour coordinated.

percy:

his trousers brush the floor because he is not the tallest and the ones he liked weren't quite the right lengths. so many people he knows could shorten them for him but he actually quite likes them like that.

percy gets freckles just because i wanted him to have them hehehe no other reasoning!

his green is a lot more yellowy and bright than henrys more dull and sappy greens, and his red is a lot deeper than henrys more pinky red.

his bag has his little friendship charm on the buckle. he doesn't wear it as a bracelet like thomas or james do- it stays on his bag because he loves his bag and is never without it.

emily:

despite her engine being a dark green, her main outfit piece (the dungarees) is a lighter green. this is Entirely just because i liked how it looked better.

her boots have detailing meant to be like her great race livery!

emily had one of the easiest outfits for me to design- she just feels like a dungaree sort of gal to me, and i just worked from there! the little gold patterns on her dungaree pocket are meant to reflect the big ol wheel pattern on the stirling single.

and there we have it!

[adventurouslesly]

Clashing together

Logan Howlett x fem reader

Warning: little bit of violence,smut,and nightmares

Word count:4K

Summary: you found Logan after being the first experiment for adamantium and escaping and Logan challenged you to see what you are made of

This is also my first time writing a Logan fic so I hope I do him some justice!!! Also this is my first detailed smut so hopefully it’s good.

You’re a new mutant same as Wolverine Stryker kept you hidden after he used you as guinea pig to see if the adamantium would work on Logan but once Logan got the adamantium he was lucky ran away from the shit hole instead of claws coming between your knuckles it’s your nails.

One day you were able to escape and after years of being alone Charles Xavier found you and brought you back to the x mansion he gave you a tour around and you see all the different mutant who are mostly kids and teens even though you may seem young you are much older then everyone.

You meet with the older people Storm,Scott,and Jean at the moment Logan wasn’t present he was doing something so you thought maybe later you’ll see him.

It was night you settled in your room and looked around it had en-suite bathroom which is pretty nice,a desk by the room, queen bed, and a window that looks out the beautiful garden.

You decide to go to the kitchen which was dark but you didn’t seem to mind you look out the window not noticing the man in the corner who’s sitting down drinking whiskey.

The man looks at you. “Who the hell are you?” He said harshly you turn your head from the slight jumpscare from his voice. “I would ask the same thing.” you cross your arms.

The man raised his eyebrows as if he’s shock at your response and gets up. “Funny everyone knows who I am but I’m Logan known as Wolverine too I’m gonna ask who you are again?” he starts circling around you looking at you up and down.

You gave him a surpise look. “Oh so you’re the Wolverine I just didn’t know what you looked like but I’m y/n.” Logan smirks “The one and only wolverine you’re looking at kid.” This was the perfect moment to tell him he’s not the only one.

Logan still circling. “So y/n what kind of power do you have? Hopefully it’s interesting.”Logan questioned you “I’m exactly like you but my claws comes out of my nails” you said.

Logan stops in his track his back in front of you and turns his head to look at you. “Your nails?” As he try to process the information you gave him. “You got adamantium claws like me?” He turns around to face you. “Let me see.” Logan said.

You put your hands in front of him and your nails grew. “I do got adamantium like you.” his eyes widen as he sees your claws extended. “Stryker kept me hidden cause he wanted to test me first for when they experimented on you which obviously worked and you escaped.” you explained and retract your claws.

Logan nods and think for awhile his fist clenched. “Was there more like us?” As he intensely stare at you. “There was after it was successful to me and they tested it on more people to make sure but we all planned to escape weeks after you did but I was the only one who lived and I was hiding for while till Charles found me somehow.” you said coldly Logans jaw clenched.

His face is filled with anger. “the others didn’t survive.” he repeats. “This is what we gonna do we’re gonna stick together In case Stryker comes after us and have each other back.” said Logan.

You extend your hand. “we’re a team then.” Logan extend his hands out too “We’re a team.” then shakes your hand and lets go. “Anyone who messes with us they dont know who they’re messing with it’ll be too late when they realized they fucked up!” you nod in agreement in Logan’s rant.

Then you guys stand there in silence for a bit since obviously the wolverine isn’t much a big talker and there’s you who kinda the same but you’re a quiet person. “So uh have you got a tour around the place?” Logan said “Professor showed me a little bit till he introduced me to jean,scott, and storm they ended showing me more of the place.” you explained.

Logan nods. “Right…well I think you should head to bed since I bet with you being new and all they will get you to training.” Logan said he’s probably right they’re probably gonna see what you’re capable of with your claws. “Well I’ll see you tomorrow." you said as you walk away.

Logan follows you. “I can actually lead you to your room it’s no problem.” Logan said you guys walk in silence there was a few kids up and Logan warns them they should be asleep to wake up for school tomorrow.

As you get your room you turn to look at Logan. “Goodnight Logan.” you smile. “Night bub.” then he walks away you open your room and close it and lay in yout bed wondering what’s the next day will be like.

The next morning Logan goes to professor office but he was talking to a student he waits patiently and looks out the window and see you exploring the garden he wanted to know more about you but wants to keep a safe distance between you guys.

As professor finish his conversation with the student and they leave he looks at Logan. “I seen you met y/n already." Logan turns to look at professor. “Why wasn’t I informed about them?” Logan questioned.

Professor sighed. “You weren’t here when she arrived you were on the small mission I sent you.” professor said logan crossed his arm. “You could’ve told me when I got back and checked in.” Logan said.

Professor smiled. “Cause I knew eventually you guys would’ve bumped into each other.” Logan rolled his eyes. “Of course." Logan mumbled and looks out the window and see you gone.

Professor noticed how Logan looks out the window. “I sent storm and jean to train her you could join.” Logan chuckles. “You think I would go easy on the kid just cause we have the same mutant power?” Professor laughed a little too. “I would be foolish to think you would."

Logan then change the conversation if he needs to do anything around the mansion once the Professor told him he has nothing yet Logan leaves Professor office.

As logan walks around the hall he decides to go to the training room once he got there he leans against the doorframe with arm crossed watching you with storm and jean giving you physical task with your claws and without them.

After a while Logan leaves you noticed he left even though you were busy training and didn’t make eye contact with Logan you smelt he was there since he’s the only person who smelt like cigar,cinnamon probably from his whiskey,and wood there is a forest area in the yard so assuming he probably goes there to relax then you wonder if he remembers you guys got the same sense too if he was trying to sneakily watch you.

Couple weeks later you were still in mansion you and Logan barely talk besides “Morning.” “Night.” ,small talk, and a grunt sound as he head nods when you see each others in the hall it doesnt surprise you since you herd he doesnt let people in much of his life.

It was around the afternoon that storm and jean was supposed to train you but they had an emergency mission and Scott was with the professor which lead to Logan this should be interesting…

You walk to Logans room and knock on his door after a minute of you standing there you press your ear on the door. “Logan?” You hear nothing then you decide maybe he’s in the kitchen so you walk over there.

Logan was drinking whiskey alone in his thought till you walked in he nods at you as he drinks. “I need you to train me.” you said right away Logan sets the whiskey down he scoffs. “Where’s Storm and Jean why aren’t they helping you?” Logan said clearly not wanting to help.

You knew it was bad idea to ask but you wanted to continue your training schedule. “They went to a mission.” you said. “What about laser boy?” Logan gruffly questioned and picks up his drink. “He’s with professor and the kids.” you said Logan settle down his drink.

Logan studies you. “Alright let’s do this kid.” he finally said you were shocked you thought you needed to argue with him some more to agree! “Ok well go easy on me since you’re more stronger then me.” you say.

Logan grins and starts to circle around you. “Where would the fun be if I took it easy on you I want to see what you got.” he then lunges forward swiping at you with his claw you luckily dodge them well then it looks like you’re doing your training in the kitchen.

Logan grins some more. “Thats what im talking about!” you then swipe at Logans arm but he manages to block your claws with his claws making a clashing sound like if you guys are fighting with swords then he headbutts you.

You stumble back. “I thought you were fast.” Logan teases you,you rub your temple. “Oh it’s on!” you said Logan smirks with amusement. “Come on show me what you got y/n!” Logan challenges you.

You then run up to Logan managing to tackling and pinning him down,Logan looks at you with widen eyes. “I’m surpise you took me down not many can do that.” Logan chuckles you shrug. “Maybe im just lucky.” as you’re still on top of him.

Logan grins mischievously. “Lucky huh? We should test that theory out more let’s go another round.” Logan challenges you again. “I would definitely be down.” you challenge back.

You get off of Logan and gets up and gets to the other side of the kitchen while Logan doing the same both waiting to see who makes the first move with claws out you decide to go first and try to swipe at his legs.

But Logan was faster he jumps up from your swipe and landing on his feet. “You got to do better than that!” He then swipes on your side and you wince from his attack even though you got quick healing it still hurts.

Logan nods. “Forgot you got that too might have to try harder.” he lunges forward you tried to block but you managed a little but he still rip part of your shirt with his claws man no wonder he doesnt train anyone he’s ruthless!

Logan was staring at part of y/n skin where the shirt was ripped showing the color of her bra he wasn’t sure if the whiskey was making him feel like this or the fight is intense with you two just as he was distracted you claw his face.

Logan thoughts suddenly abruptly stops when he felt the sting on his face. “I see how it is no mercy.” Logan runs up to her but she manage to be quick and kick him making him crash on the ground you smirk.

Logan grunts as he crashes on the floor hitting his head on the counter and sits up rubbing his head. “Good thing I can heal quick since that headache was no joke when I hit my head on that counter well played.” Logan says with a look of admiration which is rare.

As Logan gets up he looks at you. “Rematch?” You nod your head while catching your breath. “I think that’s enough.” Logan looks at you disappointed. “Aw come on I was getting warmed up!”

You think about it you really don’t have anything to do so might as well take up his offer. “Fine I’ll do it” Logan grins. “Let’s go then” before you can process anything he suddenly lunges at you his arms wrapped around your waist as he lifts you off the ground. “What you gonna do now?!” Logan challenges you.

You jab your elbow against his stomach hard Logan grunts in pain you were able to squirm away from his grip being loose and you go back to your fighting stance. “You fight dirty.” as Logan clutches his stomach.

You chuckles. “I see why you want to keep going it’s fun.” you smirk Logan looks at you dangerously. “You’re having fun now? Let’s see how you handle this!” He charges at you clawing your leg. “Fuck!” You yelled.

As Logan sees you winced from the pain he took the perfect opportunity to grab your arm and throw you on the ground and is on top of you pinning you down and you try to flip him.

Even though you got super strength too he’s more heavier. ”You’re not wiggling out of this one.” Logan smirks knew what he’s doing then he stabs you leg and you snarl and digs your nails on his muscles.

Logan winces as your nails digs in and takes his claws out of you and he looks down at you his pupils dilated. “Oh you really done it” he presses his body against you he suddenly leans down burring his face in your neck licking your neck.

You try to squirm from denying the lustful feeling you were getting since you met the man not even for 3 months! “You do this with every women you train with? get a couple jab in and sleep with them?”

Logan chuckles against your neck he knows what you’re trying to do trying to deny the feeling between you and him. “I never do this to anyone well besides storm but it’s been two years since me and her slept with each other after a middle of training but I’m not focus on her only on you like how wet you are I can smell it.” Logan says bluntly.

You freeze process the things he said about him and storm and made a mental note to ask about that later but also forgot he has keen sense like you of course he can smell the arousal on you. “Admit you like it cause your body says otherwise you can’t deny it darling.” he then continues to giving your neck attention and sliding his hand on your hip.

Logan then grinds his body against you and your breath hitches. “You know this is one hell of foreplay we’re doing.” you can feel the body heat from each other Logan grins. “It sure is what can I say it’s intoxicating the way we clash and the adrenaline.” playfully bites your neck.

You feel his hands going underneath your shirt roaming around feeling his fingertip brushing by your bra. “wait Logan.” you said hesitantly Logan pulls back looking at you. “Let’s not do anything here in the kitchen floor just in case someone walks in we can do it in your room.”

Luckily Logan didn’t argued he picked you up easily in his arms and took you to his room settling you down on the bed and locks the door goes back to kissing you. “This needs to go.” Logan mumbles as he pulls off your shirt off and unhooks your bra leaving your bare on top.

Logan licks his lip at the sight and starts kissing you and making his way down to your nipples sucking and swirling around it and pressing his body against yours. “Tell me baby you want this.” Logan said as he switches to the other nipples and grinds on you again.

You moan softly and nods your head. “Mmhm.” Logan stops swirling his tongue around your nipple and looks at you. “Use your word darling I really want to hear you want this.” Even though Logan knows the answer from the heavy breathing and the smell of you being turned on.

you look at Logan. “I want this I want you to make me feel so good.” Logan grins at the word giving your nipple one last suck before kissing down your stomach stopping by your sweatpants.

Logan pulls down your sweatpants as you lift up for him and see the damp spot on your underwear. “Shit already so wet for me.” Logan bites his lips at the sight and rubs his hand on the wet spot. “Logan.” you whimper as he teases you.

Logan smirks “Sound so pretty when you’re whimpering I wonder what you sound like when I really make you feel good with my cock.” he then pulls down you underwear leaving you completely bare you can see how Logan looks at you hungrily.

Logan then strips off his shirt and his pants and boxers revealing his throbbing cock with precum already dripping down. “Fuck you’re huge.” looks at him surprise. “Glad you think so darling.” he gets between your thighs and drags his fingers between your inner thighs making you have goosebumps.

Logan sees as you spread your legs. “I’m gonna prepare you before you take my cock.” before you could say anything he slips a fingers inside you making you gasp. “You feel so good with my fingers can’t wait till i feel you with my cock.” he starts a slow pace then he slowly goes faster and adds another finger.

as he fingers you you feel Logan thumb drawing circle around your clit going to the rhythm of him fingering you. “Oh god Logan!” you moaned out.“I think you’re ready for me.” Logan huffs out and takes his fingers out of you and taste you in his mouth.

You can feel Logan’s cock twitch against your thigh as he tastes you. “Fuck that was hot” you said Logan chuckles and goes back to pressing his body against yours kissing you roughly so you can taste yourself and breaks the kiss. “I hope you’re ready for my cock sweetheart.” you feel his tip rubbing against yours pussy lips. “I want it inside me Logan.” you grind against his cock.

That’s all Logan needed to hear he slowly puts his cock inside your pussy making both of you moan from the feeling Logan eyes roll back from the tightness and wetness around it.

He slowly thurst into you. “You’re taking me so well with your tight pussy fuck.” Logan pants he fills you up completely making you moan and Logan growls from how good this all feels and how good you look writhing underneath him and your pussy wrapped around your cock.

You wanted to feel him more you wrap your legs around him so he can go deeper. “Logan faster I want more.” Logan chuckles as your request. “You’re asking for it.” he then starts pounding into you like a wild animal you can hear the skin slapping against skin flesh sound hitting around the room.

Suddenly Logan stops his cock still buried inside you,you guys are both panting his locked on you looking at you like you guys were perfect to each other like this he rubs his thumb on your bottom lips looking at then his other hand cupping your face and he looks back to you and you were also looking Into his hazel eyes and lips after it seems like forever that you two were drinking into each other features he goes back to thrusting inside you

He can feel you getting close after he keeps senseless fucking you. “Gonna cum on my cock? Do it cum all over my cock.” As he keeps thrusting inside you he reaches between and plays with your clit faster. “Fuck I’m gonna-“ you cums on Logan’s cock he felt your pussy spasm on his cock making him cum too inside you.

He buries his head inside your neck as he painted your walls white after a while of you guys catching your breath he slowly takes his cock out your pussy and he sees his seed leaking out on your thigh as he rolls over you and lays next to you.

You look down and see the same thing. “I think I have a perfect way for you to clean this up.” you smirk. “Oh yeah? What is it?” Logan curiously ask. “By sitting on your face that’s how you can help clean it up.” you said boldly.

Logan then grabs your thigh immediately and pulls you onto his face you sink into his face and he swiped his tongue into your fold. “Logan fuck!” you tug on his hair he wraps his hairy arm around your thigh to keep you steady.

He mumbles as he eats you out. “You taste so good fucking hell.” you roll your eyes in pleasure as he’s eating you like a starving man licking every inch of you even slips his tongue further inside you. “You feel so good!” you manage to say.

You feel his nose brushing against your clit and also feel his beard nuzzle against your thigh and you start to grind on his face. “Mm fuck yeah use me baby!” Logan grunts occasionally you see Logan’s eyes closed to savor the feeling.

You feel yourself getting close and starts to ride his face more. “Come on be a good girl and cum all over my face!” just by those words you scream Logan’s name and cum on his face.

For a few second you sat on Logan’s face catching your breath then you flop down next to him and see him coated in your slick even seeing how his beard was dripping down with your cum it looked so damn good and he wipes his face with his fingers and taste you again in his mouth. “You feel and taste so good” he smirks as he looks at you and then away.

It was silence you didn’t know what to say so you start getting up and Logan grabs your arm. “Where you going?” You look at Logan. “Going back to my room since I don’t want to get up early to sneak back before anyone sees.” you explained he then pulls you in. “Stay with me tonight please? I promise I’ll behave for a little.” he wraps his arm around you.

You liked how he felt around you and you sighed. “Fine I’ll stay but let me shower and put on something comfy.” as you looked at him. “Fine I’ll let you go for now.” Logan dramaticlly says.

You get up and he smacks your bare ass you squeals then changes back to your clothes and goes to your room to shower and change and comes back to Logan’s room and see him in sweatpants and him being shirtless.

You went back to cuddling with Logan in bed as Logan rest his hands on to your hip. “Can we just sleep? You made me all tired out.” You say as you rub your hand on his hairy chest Logan chuckles. “We sure can sweetheart” he nuzzles against your neck you then you were fast asleep.

It was midnight Logan woke up to the sound of whimpering he sits up quick and see you thrashing around and you were sweating a lot. “No stop I don’t want to do this anymore!” you mumble Logan been through this road hell still is with having nightmares.

He wonders what type of nightmares you’re having since you both have different experiences he starts to shake you. “Darling you’re having a nightmare.” that just made it worse. “No stop!” You screamed.

He grabs you but your claws nails came out to scratch him obviously it hurts him a little he shakes you more eventually you wake up you’re panting and breathing heavily as it takes you a while to adjust what’s going on.

You look at Logan and looks at arm and see the scratch you made on him and looks at your nails and retracts them. “Lo-“ Logan interrupted you. “I’m fine and you know it, it’s gonna be gone in a few minutes.” he assures you.

You nod your head and hugs him and burst out crying he doesn’t try to tell you to get off he rubs your back soothing you letting you take your take to calm down.

You sniff and pulls away. “I remember everything they did to me…” you weren’t looking at Logan just at the wall. “Like what?” Logan curiously asked and you take a shudder breath. “Like how they burned me alive,drown me, forced me into a room where they could bomb the place just to see how indestructible I am.” Logan growled after you told him what they did to you. “Stryker and their fucking minion.” you swallowed hard. “At times I didn’t cooperate they hurt my family in front of me so it’s probably my fault they’re dead since I escaped.” tears starts to build up.

Logan grabs your chin to forcefully looks at him and lets go. “It’s not your fault those assholes tortured you it may seem harsh but at least you didn’t watch them die.” Logan was right you would’ve killed everyone there who tortured your family if you saw them being killed in front of you. “I’m kinda lucky that all I remember from being there is getting the adamantium being put in then I fought some people and escaped.” Logan said as those memories are in his nightmares.

You didn’t say anything for while till you decided to speak up again. “Were you serious about us sticking together?” As you look at him. “I always take my words seriously especially how I’m being here for you right now.” he affectionally squeezed your thigh.

You hug him. “Thank you Logan for calming me down.” Logan kisses your forehead. “Anything for you.” he then lays both of you down to cuddle again It was the comforting silence Logan running his fingers on your skin and you look at Logan. “Since I told you something personal mind telling me about you and Ororo situation?” Logan then chuckles as he reminiscing the past of him and storm before telling you.

I hope you guys liked it not sure if I’ll do a part 2 but if you have some idea comment it down below and I’ll figure something out 👀

[inuxi]

that ask was rude of me, i should've just blocked you instead of telling you about it, i'm sorry. i'm aroace and sex+romance repulsed, and i guess i thought alastor was gonna be something i could enjoy for once like everyone else gets to without feeling like i'm intruding on a conversation i have no right to be part of. i'm on ios so i can't use browser extensions to actually get rid of all the alastor ship posts like i want, and i'm not sure my problem even has a solution short of just giving up trying, because so far i have found exactly zero blogs that are 1.) still active at all, 2.) still post about Hazbin, 3.) aren't actually 12 years old, and 4.) don't post about fucking Alastor ships. i got so excited seeing such good, recent art i haven't nuked yet considering how old every other post i can still see is, and i'm not kidding when i say i sent that ask through tears. it was rude and unacceptable either way, and i'm sorry.

i've blocked over 200 different people and i'm not exaggerating that number even a little bit. i would rather put a gun to my head and pull the trigger myself than see them so much as breathe next to each other ever again. i am so. so so so so so sick of searching and searching and searching and finding nothing.

the thing i've learned from alastor's aroace representation is that not only is the world as a whole not made to accommodate me, fandom space isn't either. i am an alien on a planet i was never made to fit into, and i don't even get to escape that through fiction like everyone else does. no amount of filtering and blocking and searching will bring into existence a community for me that simply does not exist, and it is futile for me to try. that's what this fandom has taught me.

i think the chances of me sticking around in this fandom are slim, so at least it won't be an issue for anyone else anymore. i think being excluded from conversations about an aroace character sting a lot more than just not being represented at all to be honest.

Okay, listen.

First of all, Alastor is officially an Ace, NOT an aroace. That means he can still be interested in any romantic things or finding a couple. No one is stopping you from seeing him exclusively as an aroace. But shaming people who don't share your point of view is a bad idea.

Secondly, I am an aroace artist myself. Romantic and sexual themes are virtually non-existent in my art. I can joke about it, but almost all of my drawings explore completely different things. And you come to me and try to talk about how hard it is to feel socially comfortable being an aroace? I understand your worries, but, again, trying to shame other people because they don't share your point of view is NOT a healthy coping mechanism.

Third, I have done THREE drawings in all my time that include a romanticized Alastor. Two of them were collabs, and the third was asked to be drawn by people. And these three drawings made you give up on my art, which you said you really liked?

The community is too heavily oriented towards romantic and sexual themes, it's true. People like us are often uncomfortable in that environment, that's also true. But aroace people can't just come in and ban others from having fun just because we don't find that fun or interesting.

Man, I'm not even Alastor's artist! What the kind of Alastor shipper am I? And you picked me out of a thousand people to block? Oh my God, that's as funny as it is sad.

In case you haven't looked at my art, I am a Lucifer artist. I very rarely draw Alastor, simply because I don't find him interesting enough. And because of that, I find it so funny to be labeled an “Alastor shipper”

[trixter-god]

Classical Conditioning

Paring: Bruce Wayne x Logan Howllet

Summery: Logan and Bruce play a game of cat and mouse or is Bat and Wolverine?

Warning/tags: smut, 18+, one shot, mlm, gay, old man yaoi, cursing/profanity, jealousy, crack ship, self indulgent, oral (male receiving), I gave Bruce normal friends

Chapters: 1/1 (completed)

Words: 4572

An: Merry Christmas and happy holidays you filthy animals. Everyone thank MCR for keeping me up long to finish this lmao.

How did he even end up in this situation? That question had become a staple in Logan's everyday life as of late. It certainly didn’t help that he somehow found a home in the worst city on the east coast. Gotham city for all its mysteries and ever rising crime rates was at its core just some shitty new jersey city. Yet only this one kept Logan coming back like he was out of cigar’s needing a nicotine fix. He’d normally blame his old age for making him circle back to old haunts wondering if anything he remembered stayed the same but he’d also be stupid to admit he was sticking around for merely nostalgic reasons. He could still hear Scott’s laugh ringing in his ears thinking about the call he made what felt like forever ago telling Scott he was staying in this hellhole for a bit longer than originally planned only to find increasingly dumber excuses to not head back upstate. No he was here because he somehow found someone who understood him before they even said two words to each other. Someone that he could relate to without having to hide the darker parts of himself. A fact that still made Logan uncomfortable if he thought too hard about it but luckily his thoughts don’t normally linger. Plus he hasn’t made a run for it yet so he assumed this was going well. Logan would never say it out loud because it would make him sound like one of Rouge’s shitty romance novels but he was stuck in Gotham because of a man. A paranoid, stubborn, hypocritical, annoyingly charming, and very pretty man.

Which is why Logan was now sitting at the bar of some overpacked, overpriced club he swore he wasn’t gonna be at. With a dark whisky in one hand and his other digging into the meat of his thigh so as not to leave dents in the dark wood in front of him. The deep crease in his brow and the almost permanent frown on his lips gave out the obvious signs he didn’t want to be here. Though that didn’t stop the occasional drunk girl who was dared by her equally drunk friends to talk to him. Thankfully they were easily shooed away with a raised eyebrow or a firm no to their advances. Not like he wouldn’t be interested if it was any other night he just had a very specific itch he needed to scratch that only could only be done by the only other person in this room who probably had every exit mapped out in his head just in case. He was just about to ask for a new drink when that fucking addictive smell hits him again. Leather, citrus, pine, something else that Logan didn’t know but made the crease in his brow deepen. Sharp brown eyes cut through the crowd of drunks to the vip lounge where sat the reason why Logan was sitting in a hard ass barstool in increasingly uncomfortable jeans.

Bruce Wayne.

Orphan, playboy, millionaire, pain in his ass, and dressed like the fucking Holster store mannequin he was. Sleeves rolled to the elbow accentuating his arms in that dark blue practically see through button down which was unbutton to an outrageous degree. Bruce’s synthetic second skin worked overtime to cover up the miles of scarred and torn flesh that only Logan had memorized like the back of his own hands. Giving anyone with a pair of eyes the view of his tone physique. All tucked into those fucking pants.

Where the fuck did those even come from? Logan wasn’t one for keeping close attention to someone’s fashion choices but he would have definitely remembered tearing those in two. black slacks made from some expensive fabric just tight enough to accentuate what Bruce woke up at unholy hours of the morning to train for. If the place wasn't packed in like sardines Logan would have dragged Gotham’s sworn protector by his perfectly disheveled hair back home to that obnoxiously big bed of his. Finally get to sink his canines into that teasing smell that has been following him the whole night. Just a hint of that disgusting concoction of scents it was over. Logan was hot wired to it like the good hunting dog he was and he wasn’t leaving without his prey. Yet why did it feel like he was the one being hunted?

Bruce was barely listening to whatever the story was being told to the table. He’s been barely participating since that pissed off Canadian took a seat at the bar. Giving a nod or a laugh when it was appropriate but studying the way Logan’s shoulders would tighten when the air vent perfectly positioned above his head would turn on in ten minute cycles knowing with that enhanced sense of smell that Lo possesses could pick him out even in a room full of sweat and alcohol. Bruce normally hated the feeling of being quietly tracked but it was different when he was asking for it. That rush of adrenaline he’d been normally numb too thanks to his nightly escapades now crawled over his skin. The bat did have a reputation of killing the mood. He just wasn't aware how much it had bleed into his personal life. That was probably why Bruce has gotten increasingly attracted to danger over the years and what's more dangerous than willingly being stalked by an apex predator.

It was a simple case of classical conditioning, something that Bruce found increasingly more entertaining even if it was an accident. Who would have known Logan's mutant genes made him more susceptible to being easily persuaded by just a bit of cologne. Now Bruce knows he isn’t absolutely innocent that his instinctually inclined friend seemed to want to jump his bones the moment he got even a single inkling that Bruce was gonna touch that bottle that sat in the back of his bathroom cabinet let alone wear it out anywhere. Sure it was “brucie’s” signature scent and maybe it's the only strong cologne he wears in general but he did have no intention of turning Logan into a Pavlo’s dog experiment. Happy accidents and all that.

A hard glare was shot his way after only five minutes of Logan pretending he wasn’t sitting roughly 13.65 feet away. Not that Bruce cared all that much, Logan can stew at the bar for as long as he wants. He doesn't assume that that will be much longer, coinciding Logan's right hand having been firmly drugged into the thigh of his well-worn jeans for an hour now. Not to mention that prominent vein just peeking out of the collar of his flannel. Wonder how long it would take before Bruce finally got to see it pop.

Now Bruce did ask if he wanted to come out with him tonight. Maybe finally meet the few people he considers his normal friends but no. Logan said he was quite content staying home watching tv and loosely keeping an eye on the kids while Batman was off duty for the evening. Which Bruce was fine with even if he did intentionally rummage in the “what happens in boring school stays in boarding school” section of his closet. Squeezing his now built frame into pants that used to be baggy on him. Getting an ego boost that he could in fact still fit in them yet increasingly more humbled as he struggled to button them for longer than he’d say aloud.

Bruce’s calculated thoughts were broken up by a soft hand against his chest bringing him back to the party he was supposed to be participating in. The semimonthly gathering of his old college friends. Michael, Ben, both his college roommate at Gotham Academy for the five months of pre-med he took before realizing there was no fun in being his father. Michael’s wife Michelle who hasn’t looked up from her phone since they arrived, and Nicole, an old fling of his, highly intelligent woman, sat pressed against his side batting her heavy lidded eyes at him innocently as if her stiletto nails hadn't been not so subtly tracing any portion of his exposed skin all night. He gave a smile that wasn’t meant for her catching the sudden hard scrape of a bar stool from the other side of the room.

Logan can’t tell what’s pissing him off more, the shitty DJ that doesn’t believe in too much base, the cheap ass whiskey he was forcing down that was more bite than burn or the way those famous steel blue eyes catch his glare just long enough to tell him what he already knows. He’s being played like a goddamn fiddle. Actually it was probably that pretty little blonde who’d been hanging off HIS billion dollar baby the whole night. Sitting so close she was practically in Bruce’s lap.

The blonde makes a bold move which makes the glass in Logan’s hand threaten to crack under his grip. Her hand slipped down the front of that deep navy button up, ghosting over the very open front of Bruce’s shirt to get a feel of what Logan’s knows first hand is well trained muscle. Logan bites back the growl that wanted to crawl out of his throat when Bruce— no not Bruce. Brucie cracked a shit eating grin at the bold blonde. Well truly it was a gentle charming smile but Logan knew fucking better.

He should’ve been embarrassed of how fast he succumbed, It was probably a new record honestly, if his brain wasn’t busy imagining the way he wanted to become front page news for Vale’s gossip blog. He could see the headlines now. “Bruce Wayne bent over in front of the crowd” maybe she’d make some shitty pun that he’d have no choice but send it to Wade, that's if that loud mouth wouldn’t already be blowing up his phone with those fucking emoticons that somehow mean something suggestive. Why did he even mention that walking ball of cocaine and cancer? He’s not even here and yet the mere thought killed his very small buzz. Logan rubbing his face before downing the rest of his whisky hoping it would keep him satisfied for now. He had a point to prove. A point he didn’t know but peeled himself out of his favorite recliner to follow Gotham’s Prince downtown to some shit club anyway. Logan gave his head a shake before getting back up, keeping his back to temptation to go sneak a smoke outside.

Bruce gave a pout watching Logan head out the front and not towards him. Looks like Wolverine is finally getting used to his tricks. Bruce noted that for next time already thinking of the needed adjustments.

“What’s wrong Bruce? Is Michael boring you as bad as he is me?” Ben’s voice cut through his thoughts making his pout turn into an awkward smile. Bruce couldn’t even think of an excuse before Michael’s heavy old Gotham accent butted in.

“Oh piss off benny boy, everyone loves my stories.”

“They love your stories all right. Everyone at this table knows that after you took that fist to the face Kevin had to pull you out.” Ben crossed his arms leaning back into his chair. His signature smirk landed on his lips.

“Tomatoes, tomatoes. So I took the first hit. It doesn't matter who actually finished the guy off, we all won.” Micheal tried to wave Ben’s comments off.

“If I remember correctly we all got detention for a month.” Bruce finally found his footing picking up his barely touched glass of champagne. Giving the glass a small swirl in his fingers just keeping busy. “Not to mention you got a concussion.”

“Yeah, but we won. Which reminds me of another story.” Micheal retells some story about his football years. Snapping at the young waitress who was checking another table. Earning him a solid hit in the shoulder by his wife, Michelle, making Ben let out a snort.

“Eyes in the back of her head.” came a much softer voice to his left. Nicole made her quiet presence known with a hand on this thigh looking out in the direction Logan disappeared from. She rested her chin in her hand giving him a knowing glance.

“Who’s the cowboy?” She asked, amused.

Bruce gives her his best shifty eyed confused expression as he made sure no one else was listening. Luckily Ben was too focused on correcting everything that’s coming out of Micheal’s mouth and Michael is just trying to yell over him that they don’t notice. Michell never looked up from her phone.

“What?” Bruce breathed out pretending to be flustered in confusion.

She only narrows her eyes looking him up and down. The woman used to be an analyst; she could smell tension before she knew there was tension. Dangerous skill to have so close to you, one he had even closer at one point in the past. He Should have known better than to date a physiatrist but you live and you learn.

Nichole drums her well kept nails on the top of the table. “Oh please, you’ve been pining all night.” She lowered her voice taking a long sip of her martini.

“He’s a good catch, how’d you get him?”

Bruce chuckled, his eyes couldn’t help but drift over to Logan’s now empty seat at the bar. How did he do it? Bruce remembers how it started, a rather intense argument over something he couldn’t remember that turned into an event that The Hall of Justice had seen before. Yes, those tapes were deleted and yes, it did end up happening again. Far too many times until it evolved into whatever it was now. Too serious to be a fling yet they were far too old to be boyfriends. Maybe partners was the correct word even if it made Bruce feel very old. He didn’t like to linger on a title and Logan ever cared to name it.

“Just picked him up one day, haven’t let him go yet.” He shrugged at the blonde. “I have a problem with picking up strays.” That earned him a small chuckle even though he was serious.

“I understand that.” Nicole tipped her glass to him and he in turn did the same. The soft clink seemed to echo between them.

・・・・・

The night air in Gotham was always cold. Something Logan found oddly comforting about the city. The end of his cigar bloomed in the darkness of the alley as the music from the club thumped quietly through the wall behind his head. He rolled his shoulders back hearing a rare pop from his spine. The tension in his neck released, making a string of repetitive words tumble out of his mouth on instinct. “I'm too old for this.”

He debates with himself again, that urge to leave, another to just throw his patience out the window. Logan watched the smoke disappear from his lips into the dark night around him as the sound of rusty hinges echoed in alleyways. His nose twitched. Leather, citrus, and pine. A dangerous combination and yet he didn’t make a single effort to leave. The sound of expertly polished shoes echoed in the small alley until that smell turned into heat by his side. Logan picked up his head to look over at his… at Bruce. Bruce didn’t return the gesture instead staring off at the door he just snuck out from. How he managed to get away from a crowd without worry was something only he could pull off. The tension was softer than it was inside.

“Does this mean i win?” His voice was rougher than intended as he talked around the cigar on his lips. Logan mentally thanked the cold for that as he took one last puff before snuffing out his cigar against that palm of his hand. That burn was welcomed as the action made the heat beside him scoff. “Got something to say princess or you just gonna play mute?’

Bruce hummed softly in response. If Logan didn’t have such good hearing he would have missed that almost mocking sound. “Thought you didn’t want to come out tonight.” Bruce’s words teased him just an octave higher than normal. That pretty boy persona got harder and harder to slip from when he was being smug. Logan could knock his perfect teeth out right now and not feel bad.

“Changed my mind.” Logan shrugged, pocketing his cigar in for later. “Not that i had much choice” he gave the taller man a well deserved once over. The glow of the moon above mixed with the club’s neon casted the dark knight in a familiar way. It was honestly unfair that one man could look good no matter if he was pretending to be an urban legend or slumping with the first class. Now closer Logan could see that Bruce decided to wear his earrings for the first time in who knows how long. Little black studs glistened in the low light. And was he wearing eyeliner? It was smudged to an unrecognizable degree but it was there. Detailed oriented his bat was, which only solidified that he was set up from the start. Logan ran his tongue against the inside of his cheek as a poor attempted to silence himself but since when has that ever worked. Logan unconsciously leaned closer, his senses burned. “Can't have you walking around like a cheap whore, bub”

The smallest of smirks formed across Bruce’s lips as his eyes dropped to watch that vein in Logan's neck finally pop. Letting out a rare chuckle as he pulled his gaze away shaking his head. “Please, I'm anything but cheap Lo.”

His nickname felt like velvet in winter as it rattled around in the night. It was the same unoriginal name he’s had for years but it alway sounded different from him. It sounded right. If he wasn’t already so stupidly obsessed with that man next to him. Bruce would have caught him off guard just enough to shut him up.

“So you’re a rich whore?” Logan didn’t miss a beat with his comeback as they somehow got even closer.

“Why? Want one?” Bruce countered with a skilled practice. It was instinctual, the joking comment slipped from his lips like a bullet in the chamber even as the shot rang out it left a heavy weight behind.

There was a stand still then, as they stared silently at each other. The sting was pulled so thin between them it didn’t take much for the snap. This time it was Bruce’s callused hands making their way into Logan's hair pulling him into a heated kiss which pulled a deep growl from the other as thick fingers dug into the artificially perfect skin he forced himself to wear in public. Teeth clacked against each other as animal instincts kicked in. Logan took advantage of his strength and pressed that intoxicating smell into the cement wall. Not caring as the noticeable smack of what had to be Bruce’s skull hit the brick. Logan’s knee slotted between Bruce's legs pressing into his harding cock. The whine that slipped his lips was like a well deceived award for having to put up with his well planned torment all night. Reasoning thrown out the window as their bodies gilded messily across each other like horny teenagers practically devouring the other until those dangerous hands tighten in Logan’s hair pulling another growl.

“Fuck, Lo.” Bruce broke the kiss, sucking in the cool night air into his lungs felt like fire. His hips not stopping in their attempts to basically hump Logan’s thigh. His already uncomfortable attire rubbed just right against his cock. Logan wasted no time to dig his canines into his throat. Biting just hard enough to leave an imprint yet he didn’t break skin. Not now anyways.

“What, bub? Ain't this what you wanted?” Logan dragged his teeth over his neck, marking over that pale expanse of his throat. “Huh? Wearing that fucking collone like you don’t know what it dose it me.” His voice was nothing but rasp. Teetering just close enough into Logan's feral territory that Bruce couldn’t help the groan that slipped his lips. “Dressing like fucking sex on legs. Do i even want to know when you got these fucking pants?” To further push his point home Logan hands cupped a fair amount of his ass through the tight fabric. Bruce bucked his hips in retaliation. The friction makes both of them hiss.

“Fucking brat.” Logan spat, grabbing a fist full of Bruce's thin shirt to force him down to his knees. The playboy silently cures his choice in fashion when he feels just how tight his pants pressed back into him. Bruce swears he can hear the stitching against his thighs screaming for help not to mention the actual crack his knees make. He cursed under his breath as hands found Logan’s waist for stability.

His eye flicked from the bulge he was now eye level with to Logan's blown wide pupils. Bruce's hands popped off that obnoxious belt buckle Logan loved to wear with a practice ease acting like he wasn’t the one on his knees. His lips dragged over dented denim making Logan choked out a curse from above. Bruce continued to mouthed Logan through his pants until he felt a hand grab a fist full of his hair tugging a pained moan out of him. Bruce popped off the button of Logan's jeans, unzipping them and pulling him free from his flannel boxers.

Logan’s cock stood proudly now free from its confines. Its reddened head weeped pre-cum from the slit. Bruce smirked, wanting to say something snarky only to look up to meet pleading brown eyes. Okay so maybe he was being too much of an ass all night. Though this was hardly the worst he could have done, still Bruce took the hint and took pity on him. His hand slowly wrapped around the thick base of Logan's cock giving him a couple good strokes. Nuzzling into his hip as he used the leverage to keep Logan from bucking into his hand as he stroked him dry. Not breaking eye contact as Logan's eyes rolled back into his head briefly just from such a touch. The friction makes Logan's head spin just enough to not to complain.

“My poor darling.” Bruce cooed as he pressed a few kisses at the base. Bruce shifted on his knee to straddle Logan's boot so that he could please his own needs.grounding his hips down against worn leather as he nipped at that prominent vein down Logan’s hip, up the underside of his cock.

“Shut up” Logan spat out when Bruce”s tongue flicked the head of his cock before trailing back down the underside only for his hand to replace his mouth again. His hand retreated from Bruce’s hair as his claws fought to make an early appearance.

“Make me” echoed in Logan's ears as his eyes opened in surprise. He stared down at the smuggest person he’ed ever seen on their knees. Logan tried to memorize this exact moment in his very shitty memory. Bruce Wayne on his knees in an open alley, looking at him like a kid during christmas while he stroked his dick actively taunting him. No. Asking him to let go. If Logan believed in a god he'd probably be thanking him right about now.

As Logan's brian took its time to process his request Bruce took no time to wrap his lips around his throbbing cock not stopping into his nose brushed against that tufted of hair against the base. Everything about Logan was thick. His skin, his skull, his fingers but most importantly his dick as it took up most of his mouth. Bruce used his breathing skills to good use not to gag when Logan seemed to finally get the idea bucking into his throat suddenly. Logan’s hand curled back into Bruce’s hair pulling him somehow farther down his cock so he could fuck into the wet heat of his mouth.

“So good baby.” Logan muttered his praises through his teeth.

“Good fucking boy.”

Bruce’s hands dropped to finally free himself from his own pants. Moaning around Logan as he stroked himself to the same hard rhythm that was set in his throat. It didn’t take long for either of them to get close to the breaking point.

“You gonna take it baby? Huh? Be my good fucking boy and take everything i give you?” Bruce was too far lost as he moaned out his agreement. Trying to nod around Logan's brutal trust of his hips into his mouth. “Here it comes baby, here it comes.”

An inhuman noise escapes his lips as Logan’s hips halt suddenly making sure to pull Bruce all the way down around him as he releases down his throat. Bruce followed close behind, spilling out of his fist onto the ground and Logan's boot below. The two of them just stay there for a moment before Bruce finally frees himself with a cough. His lungs felt like they were on fire as he breathed in lungs full of cold air.

“Shit, you okay?” Logan tucked himself back into his pants before kneeling down to Bruce's level.

Bruce nodded between coughs waving it off. “I’m fine. Just forgot to breathe for a second.”

Logan shook his head gently pushing Bruce's now actually messy hair from his face. His eyes now soft and concerned as he gave Bruce a good once over just in case knowing Bruce isn’t one to complain about pain.

“Come here.” Logan muttered pulling Bruce gently into a soft kiss which was pleasantly returned without hesitation. The taste of himself on Bruce's lips didn’t go unmissed.

“You are the worst”

“You love me for it.” Bruce chuckled cupping his jaw, running his thumb across his cheek before pressing another quick kiss to his lips.

“Yeah, I do.” Logan got back to his feet giving Bruce a hand up as they both fixed themselves to be less disheveled. Logan takes another shameless look over Bruce hooking his fingers into one of his belt loops pulling him closer. His voice dropped an octave giving him a weak glare.

“Seriously though, were these fucking pants come from.”

“My first year of college. ” Bruce gave him a little pose looking down at his somehow still intact pants. “I didn’t make it through pre-med but I did party like I was. Honesty impressed they still fit.”

Logan hummed letting him go. “oh, they fit alright.”

Bruce gave him a slap to his arm which Logan overreacted to making Bruce crack a smile. Logan threw an arm over Bruce’s shoulder pulling him down to his height. “Wanna drink? I still have a tab open.”

“You just want me to cover the bill.” Bruce rolled his eyes leaving his grasp to pull open the metal door letting out the loud music spill out into the quiet night for the two of them.

“Promise to repay you when we get home.” Logan smirked, slapping Bruce on the ass as he headed back into the noisy club. Bruce, not too far behind, shakes his head amused as they find two empty seats at the bar.

“Yeah, yeah.”

[sufferu]

Did you read that WHDAAA spin-off fic by Vyazov23 called Watching Arc 4 in The Theater of Despair ? Any things you liked and have problems with?

I did! I appreciated that the guy managed to actually FINISH a react fic lol: I’m realizing more and more that these things are a pain and a half to actually write. SERIOUS props to the one who actually managed to pull it off, I’m not even being sarcastic.

Though, to be entirely honest…I disagreed with the entire main premise regarding how the characters would react, lol. I actually don’t want to shit on a singular work, though — especially not one that had so much effort put into it, like goddamn the guy actually FINISHED that one — so I’m gonna go ahead and use this as a segway to talk about the most common usages of this trope that I disagree with in this fandom.

The idea that anyone would learn about Return By Death and go “Okay! This is a good thing, and Subaru is a hero!” — I feel like it goes against the themes of Re:Zero, as well as a lot of established characterization. (And also the harem subplot that often seems to go alongside that idea, lol.) And I feel like a react fic that goes over the experiences of Return By Death, furthermore, should be centered around the characters coming to terms with (or grappling with, anyway) the fact that they FUCKING KILLED HIM. Like, SOO many times. Rem and Ram, in particular, should be characterized as absolutely, irreconcilably devastated by what they did in Arc 2. In fact I actually have a lot of criticisms about how these fics tend to characterize a lot of these characters in general, especially Julius, Ferris, Wilhelm, and Rem. Rem is simple — I don’t agree with the idea that she is actually a good influence (or that the other characters would see her as such, more on that in a sec) — but for the other three…I think a lot of these fics tend to twist themselves in knots trying to make them approve of Subaru’s self-destructive behavior, despite all three of them having canon moments contradicting it.

Julius’ first appearance was him desperately trying to save Subaru from getting slaughtered and most of the subsequent scenes with him have included something about him either trying to be a good role model (that will help Subaru Not Die Horribly) or taking some step to actively keep him safe (whether that be going out of his way to teach him a hands-on lesson about self-awareness the moment they meet up again post-Whale or quietly sticking Ia on him without letting him know). Hell, it’s heavily implied that he associated Subaru with his beloved, sickly, baby brother pre-Gluttony. The knowledge that Subaru has apparently been not just getting regularly put in mortal danger, but not even getting out of it ALIVE in a lot of cases — I think he’d have a way worse reaction to that than is normally shown.

Wilhelm, too — not enough focus is given to the fact that Subaru’s situation is basically just a worse version of the one that Theresia was forced into by being the Sword Saint. Wilhelm went and dueled his wife specifically to free her from the shackles of being forced to wield a sword when all she really wanted to do was care for flowers. Hell, in canon he already has a scene where he refuses to keep training Subaru because he realizes that Subaru has no actual interest in the sword and does not want to facilitate that kind of self-destruction. Wilhelm would have a fucking seizure if he learned that his beloved not-grandson was being forced to die repeatedly in order to keep his loved ones safe. And he’d probably have a really horrible reaction to the idea that some of those loved ones were straight up RESPONSIBLE for some of those deaths. This is the man who spent 14 years hunting the White Whale, he’s second only to Otto when it comes to revenge schemes (and even then it’s debatable who comes out on top over there).

Ferris, though, gets it hands-DOWN the worst. First reason is that the fact that he would almost certainly have the absolute worst reaction to the PREMISE of Return By Death out of the entire cast (due to his strong value of life and pride as a healer) is — often completely glossed over. This is the same guy who grieved suicidal Witch Cultists, was referenced as one of the two bleeding hearts of the Witch Cult elimination squad (the other being Subaru), who (in the LN) had what sure looks like a breakdown at the idea that Subaru wanted to die during that one Arc 3 loop where he went into shock, to the point where Crusch had to step in and speak (even joke) on his behalf as he basically sat in the corner with his head in his hands, cursing Subaru for not valuing his own life. If Ferris ever finds out about RBD he’s gonna fucking kill himself. But then, on top of that, he so often gets reduced to this — purely antagonistic force that just hates Subaru for no reason, who needs to learn to respect Subaru as a hero for his sacrifices, in a way that just — not only is kinda mean spirited, but completely glosses over some of the most fascinating parts of his character.

Also — I feel like a lot of these fics have the characters reacting like Subaru is an anime character to them rather than their friend, if that makes sense. Like, some of the reactions we see end up being like…the typical fan reaction to scenes? Instead of how someone would react if that were a Real Person up there doing that shit. Rem, in particular, is cut WAAAAY too much slack in most react fics, with everyone pretty much losing their anger towards her after hearing her tragic backstory and then glossing over everything she does in Memory Snow and Arc 3 with “Hah, that’s cute.” Like — I’m sorry, I think there should be a bit of a reaction to the revelation that the person who tortured Subaru for HOURS on end spent the next month sneaking into his room to watch him while he slept, following him around constantly, and enabling all of his bad behavior (which is now very obviously just a collection of trauma responses) like the world’s most dedicated Yes man (with the singular exception being the “From Zero” speech). Also, so much of what she does to him pre-Gluttony is just — horrible? And would be seen as such by the other characters, who do not have the same sense of naïveté/love of waifus/lack of self-preservation instincts that Subaru does to prevent him from seeing Rem for the danger that she is.

And well — I don’t think there’s enough consideration given to the fact that, most of the time, these characters already know how things are going to end, since they have their own memories to use for reference. Most of the time, they already KNOW whether Subaru is gonna survive or not, and that should impact how they respond to what they see next.

[l-in-the-light]

The most embarrassing series of posts about Lawlu you will ever read: edition Dressrosa (part 6)

Two long posts in one day?? I guess I really wanted to get into "carrying Law like a bag of treasure" mini-arc that badly haha. Love is a hurricane so let's go!

Luffy's back to his "I don't have time for this" antics. He wants to save Torao, there's no time to be idle or to waste, alright!

Luffy's done with being patient and sticking to plans. He was interested in his life to stick to only one plan anyway, which he believes is shattered now. Too bad, Viola. You're just not Law.

Luffy has enough of waiting! Faster, faster! And again, not interested in any other plans, unless they're Law's. (yes, he asks about the plan, but only to complain. He's not gonna listen)

Torao's fine! Luffy looks really happy and he calmed down a bit and does he have a slight blush here or what lol. But like I told you all, he's not interested in listening to plans and idling around. He wants to go, go, go and he isn't even trying to understand what they're waiting for. This is the Luffy we all know, the "before Law" Luffy lol.

To understand why Law says that the alliance is finished, we need to rewind to his fight with Doflamingo. He said that to protect the Strawhats. In case Law gets captured and loses (and he expected to be defeated), cutting his ties with Strawhats should make them all leave the country, right? After all they will have no more business here because the whole alliance was focused on Law's plan, and once that is no longer their business, in Law's mind it means they will leave. After all that's what pirates do. They don't care about countries, old allies etc.

I mean, if it was anyone else than Strawhats, Law would be right, wouldn't he? He just didn't know them well enough yet at this point. He probably thought saving kids at Punk Hazard was just a whim on their part, a precedence, and normally they would only do such things for their friends. And Law isn't their friend, neither is anyone in Dressrosa.

Luffy: Omg Law I missed you so much!

Law: Not this again!

Luffy wastes no time anymore and is so, so happy to be able to rescue Law it's unreal. Meanwhile Law tries to push him away, shocked that he's here.

He tries three different tactics to push Luffy away: 1. You were supposed to take care of the factory, did you do it already? 2. The alliance is no more, scram from here 3. If you rescue me, I will be your enemy!

This is probably The Moment when Trafalgar Law realized Luffy treats him as a friend, someone to risk your life for to help. Law isn't having any of that. Luffy risks his life for friends, and Law wants the exact opposite: protect him no matter what. Those two desires clash here.

Luffy almost fell for it, to be fair. But then decides he will rescue Law no matter what he's saying. He did the same for Ace in Marineford, despite Ace screaming this is not his business, so why would Law's words stop him now?

I love how Luffy calls Law selfish. I mean, he's kinda right about it. Law doesn't take into account Luffy's feelings here. And Luffy also doesn't take Law's feelings into account here. It's a battle of who will rescue the other, lol. They're so hopeless, I swear...

Law's last attempt gets completely ignored. He again is dragged into Luffy's pace here and he knows it. He lost to Luffy, again. Hence why he will allow himself to "get saved" from this moment on, which I think makes Luffy actually happy - after all Ace didn't allow himself to be saved.

And yes, the "I'll kill you" is a lie. All things Ace said at Marineford to keep Luffy away were also lies. Those are all hints for us to connect the dots here. Not that anyone believed Law here anyway lol. There's just no way he would actually harm Luffy after trying to protect him for freaking two arcs now. But he would and will say just about anything, if it has even a slight chance of pushing Luffy away.

Now we have to address the elephant in the room. Does it all mean that Trafalgar Law was suicidal and actually expected Luffy to leave him to die? Well, yes and no. Yes, because he does care for Luffy more than he cares for himself, for multiple reasons (low self-esteem might be one of them actually). Let's not forget Luffy is the life he saved in Marineford. Saving lives means everything to Law.

No, because did you notice Viola magically spawned a key to Law's cuffs? Did you notice how prepared she was in this whole arc, even handing Sanji a map to secret factory, almost like she knew that's exactly the thing they're missing in their plan? Well. I think Law lied and did visit Dressrosa before. And made Viola his secret ally, a great chess piece on the board that's capable of making her own decisions and prepared in case Law needs a backup plan (remember fake cuffs in Punk Hazard? It's the same logic applied here. Law always covers ways to recover from precarious situations/possible emergencies/mistakes). In other words, getting captured by Mingo and rescued with help of his ally, was a part of his backup plan. Yes, he planned his own capture, you heard me right. It wasn't his plan A. Just a backup plan B or C.

You're welcome if that turned your understanding of Dressrosa's plot upside down. I'm always happy to deliver! Oh if you only knew how much of Law's plan was probably obscured from us. Because I don't think Viola is his only secret ally. Ofc you're free not to believe it and just accept the old truth fandom believes in, which is Law being a selfish suicidal idiot. Let's move on for now!

Important to remember: this is Law's narration here. After all he's the only one in this group that knows what Doffy's birdcage is, having experienced it before. He has a clear PTSD moment about it and speaks his actual mind here. Which is him being terrified that innocent people will die, all because Law's plan went to shit. He's most likely already blaming himself for that. This is definitely not the result he wanted, which might be one more reason why his original plan was so indirect in dethroning Doflamingo. He was hoping to avoid stuff like this.

Luffy taking care of Law's sword <3 Busy talking with Zoro over some stuff, meanwhile Law pays attention to Doffy's broadcast, because Luffy doesn't. Those two really fill each other's blank spots, and they do so naturally.

First time Law hears that Luffy is now after Doflamingo. He reacts to it, trying to make Luffy understand that it's a dangerous decision, assuming Luffy is just swayed by emotions.

And their wishes clash again. Law tells Luffy it's better to give it up and scramble. Law no longer tries to push Luffy away, he realizes he lost that battle already. But he's still not giving up on keeping Luffy safe. Ironic, considering he's practically helpless and cuffed here (but the key to the cuffs should be nearby). Just moments ago he clearly regretted the fact innocent people got dragged into this deadly game, but here he is trying to downplay it and even disregard it as not important.

Luffy's not having any of that. Either he heard his regret before and connected the dots, or he still deeply believes Law to be a good person. He expects him to want to help this country too. If Luffy doesn't doubt Law even once, no matter what Law has to say about it, why should we? Luffy's usually the best at reading people, their emotions and judging if they're good people or not. I definitely trust him when he calls someone a good person, and i think you all should as well.

What Luffy and Law are actually communicating here is this:

Law: "This is going too far, we should stop. We might lose our lives here" (as in: I don't want you to lose your life here).

Luffy: "This is no time to be worrying about that! We're already dragged in this!" Or even... "I'm not letting you give up everything just to protect my life! I will carry your wish to save Dressrosa!" (but I doubt Law understands it this way)

Of course Law is taken aback here. He doesn't understand why Luffy is so attached to this country already or why he made his final decision already (and we might also question it with him, because we saw how Luffy respected the plan before! Not even Rebecca or fake peace could sway him! And Law apparently was more aware of it than we expected him to be). It was less than a day. He will find out eventually though, because it will keep bugging him and be constantly on his mind, hence his immediate reaction:

And now he finally gets it. Yep, it was because of food. And it will be because of food again in Wano. It's not the full reason, but oh god it is hilarious. Neverending cycle of suffering for Law continues on.

I guess Luffy's deep interest in Law is reciprocated after all. Law is also unusually interested in things concerning Luffy and stuff about Luffy seems to be always on Law's mind.

Law already knows what's gonna happen, just by hearing "the direct one!!" answer. He still is in disbelief.

Neverneding cycle of suffering. No wonder he becomes a zen monk by Wano.

And it continues. He clearly doesn't enjoy the freestyle jumping off the cliff while being at someone else's mercy or being tossed around. Luckily for him, Luffy holds him tight.

Considering how he was just so heavily manhandled, you can't hold it against Law here that he's kinda petty. Also Luffy's panic is adorable, he's like "oh no, I totally messed it up" which he usually wouldn't care much about, but now he's literally carrying Law with him, so it's no longer about his own safety (he doesn't care) but Law's (he cares about that a lot). And can I just point out since Luffy grabbed Law he never lets him go anymore? Yeah, he loses him occassionally, but never lets Zoro carry him even for a second. Nope, Luffy's gonna carry his own treasure the whole way all up to Mingo's castle and no one's gonna put hands on it!

And I believe this to be the reason. Luffy knows that the whole Doflamingo's Family got a beef with Law, but also normal citizens would be trying to get Law, and Law is still wearing seastone cuffs so can't do much. So Luffy takes it upon himself to take care of him now! And he's so overprotective he won't let anyone else do that!

And again, it's mutual. Law, despite his position, will still fret over Luffy's wellbeing all the time. My god, can they just stop being so obvious? Worry for yourself for once, Law!

He worries and worries some more and doesn't even complain when he lands face first on the ground.

Special mention for Luffy caring about innocent people, because this proves to Law that Luffy actually does care deeply about things like that! By Wano Law will accept it as the truth and Luffy's general MO.

I wonder how it felt when Luffy laughed while holding Law on his arm like that. Law must have felt him laughing through the vibrations in his own body. It's just... so casually intimate between them. Of course Law doesn't miss the chance to actually scold them both, because they do attract unneccessary troubles on them and they're already in bad spot. Law's worrying never ends!

I just wanna point it out: Luffy is falling here, but he still holds Law close, refusing to let him go.

This is here just so you can also stare at both of them lying down at the same time, because that's so rare, whenever Luffy's not on guard, Law usually is, but not here. Here they're just both little sheeps and Zoro has to step up his game instead. Maybe on some subconscious level, Law actually feels safe when Luffy carries him, because he felt safe when Corazon carried him forever ago as well.

I just love how Luffy realizes what Cavendish is up to and rescues Law. And there we go, the infamous "crewmate" debate. Let's start with Luffy. Many people assume Luffy just lied here to protect Torao, because that's the easiest option. But it doesn't take into account Luffy's personality. Luffy never jokes about crewmate's status and if he calls you one, he actually means it (yes, I do believe he tried to seriously recruit zombie tree and Kinemon's legs. He was so deeply disappointed when he found out Kin's legs aren't a seperate entity!). Luffy means every word he said here and he only voices it outloud exactly because it will help keep Cavendish away from Law. And it's not the first time the "nakama" thing is hinted at:

He says it here as well. "My crew's life is more important than flame-flame fruit". But at this point none of the Strawhats is in any immediate danger. Law though, is, indeed.

But when did Luffy start to think of Law as his crewmate? Punk Hazard? Dressrosa after he saw Law being shot? Well, my personal bet is right after Marineford. Because by rescuing him Law proved to Luffy he's a good person. And that's all Luffy needs to want someone as a crewmate. It does help though that he saw Law fight and must consider him really strong.

There's one interesting thing here though. Usually when Luffy declares someone his crewmate/nakama, he would pursue them no matter what. But in Law's case, he just... waits. Seems he wants Law to be the one to make the final decision, and until he does, Luffy will wait for him forever. You think I'm reaching? Watch till we get to Wano haha.

Funny thing is, Zoro caught up on that before Luffy even put it into words. Let's remind ourselves of Zoro's sword languague in Water 7 for a moment:

He explains he doesn't pick sides and he draws his sword a bit and closes it again ("clicking" it) to make the point. He also gives his friends a choice: they need to decide now whether Robin is an enemy or a crewmate (original uses the nakama word). Now fast forward to Dressrosa:

Zoro does the same gesture from Water 7 and it's meant for Law. He's telling him basically the same message here "choose your side, are you with us (nakama) or against us (enemy)." It's right after Luffy and Law quarrel about fleeing or staying and helping the country. Law is also a swordsman, he most likely understood the message, hence his shocked reaction, because he was faced with an ultimatum from Luffy's wingman.

And what's Law's stance on it? He clearly refused there, right? "I'm not!" but that was before he was ready to give his actual answer, so of course he would be mad, he semi-expected this is Luffy deciding things for him. He realizes just a moment later that it's actually not the case and why Luffy said it, hence he shuts up. He shares his final decision only after Zoro leaves to fight Pica and I bet you anything it was on purpose, he was avoiding giving his actual answer in front of the other. Maybe he just thinks Zoro's crazy and might indeed treat him as an enemy as the result... or maybe, just maybe, he is actually torn. I mean, he's allowed to feel confused, he just evolved from a friend to a crewmate in a matter of one hour or less.

Law's hat is on and so is Luffy's, at the exact same time. Shared solidarity <3

Law isn't often taken aback by Luffy, but here he is. I guess it's the first time he sees Luffy so stupidly stubborn over something and the realization hits him like a truck. Yes, Law, Luffy can be just as stubbornly petty as you, are you up for the competition? Seeing your face I would assume that's a "no" haha. He might later on.

Law: Too close! (he's making a very uncomfortable expression and Jeef is leaning all over him).

Luffy: Hands off and get off!!

It looks like Luffy wants to protect Law, but actually I think he's just trying to literally push the guy off so he can win the petty competition of who reaches Doffy first. I'm sure Law appreciated Luffy pushing the guy off.

But it can be also because Luffy wanted Jeef and Abdullah to get away from his treasure that he tugged on Moocy right behind himself lol.

Should we ask ourselves another question? Why is Law allowing himself to be handled this way? There are actually multiple possible reasons for that: 1. He decided that no matter what Luffy wants he will tag along with it, there's no way he's leaving Luffy alone to face Mingo 2. He actually likes being carried around (we have Corazon to thank for that) 3. He's actually too weak in those cuffs to get himself to that palace. Which would explain why he doesn't even try to sit up while on Moocy or why his guard wasn't on around Cavendish, normally he wouldn't allow himself a mistake like that, no matter how much Luffy manhandled him. Though like I said before, I don't exclude "trust" as the partial reason as well. I just don't think it would be enough to make Law stop fretting and worrying.

The love adventures of Luffy carrying Law around will continue in next part!

[sciroccoorion35]

Lockwood POV

I've seen some discussion about whether you could write the L&Co books from Lockwood's pov and how difficult that would be with his book characterisation, but I think I've got it!

The Very Secret Diary of A.J. Lockwood

The Screaming Staircase from Lockwood's POV Rating: T WC: 543

Day 1: Well, it’s official! George and I have started our own agency right out of 35 Portland Row. Lockwood and Co. at your service. The paperwork was a chore, but we’ve done it. Now to begin building our reputation. I have plans for attracting a high paying clientele with interest in the kind of personalised, bespoke care only a small, independent agency can provide.

Day 16: Inspector Barnes himself came by today to inspect our headquarters. He also gave me some warnings about the way we took out the ghost over on Bagley Walk, but we got it to the furnaces in the end, so I don’t see that it’s any big deal. Looking forward to showing this Barnes what we can accomplish without the need for adult supervision.

Day 72: George left his ghost jar in the bath again. Seriously considering writing up an official company policy that covers this. Or possibly just a renter’s agreement.

Day 117: Hired a new assistant. His name's Robin. I think he's gonna be great. Wow, this is really starting to feel like a proper agency!

Day 123: Robin ran off a roof in a blind panic. Not a great start tbh. I will need to do a much better job checking the next assistant's fortitude. Maybe George can help me come up with something...

Day 175: New hire Miss Lucy Carlyle! I really think we've got a good one this time. She's asked me to call her Lucy and it feels weird somehow with her for some reason. But I'll be damned if I'm going to call George 'Mr. Cubbins' so I will have to get used to it.

Day 346: Lucy has burned down a house. Granted, the Type 2 inside really whipped it up into a conflagration, and yes, I did forget to bring the chains, but still, there’s no denying it was her Greek fire that was the initial spark explosion.

Day 349: 60,000 pounds!?!? Bloody Barnes. He’s doing this on purpose. He wants us out of business and out of his hair. I’ve put on a brave face in front of George and Lucy but I don’t know how we can possibly get through this. 

Day 351: I have a plan. It’s a little risky, and I need to do as much preparation and snooping as I can manage to squeeze in, but if handled carefully, I think I can save the agency and even put us ahead of where we were before. If not, well, this might just be my last entry as A.J. Lockwood, head of Lockwood and Co.

Day 365: What a year it’s been! I forgot to update after the Combe Carey affair, but it was spectacular! I’ve got a bunch of press clippings I’ll stick in here for posterity, but the important thing is that the agency is right where it should be. Between me, George and especially Lucy, I really feel like there’s no case we can’t take on. Things are truly looking up!

Day 365, part 2: Lucy has just told me the most extraordinary thing. On second thought, maybe I shouldn’t write it down just yet. Wouldn’t want anyone to think…anyways, please disregard. Looking forward to a fruitful year 2!

[your-unfriendlyghost]

sodapop patrick curtis thoughts on my desk by the end of the week or ur DONE /j

How I feel about this character

  Uh like he’s perfect and should be my wife i think

  Nah but fr Soda’s one of my favorite characters ever. He’s sweet and all, but he’s so much more than that. Pony says he’s movie-star handsome, that he can go from gentle one minute to “blazing with anger” the next, that he gets drunk just on living, and understands everybody. Soda’s a Kerouac-style “mad one”- “mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes Awww!”

He’s a guy who’s sensitive but strong, a “bawl baby” who’s tough, he’s probably got ADHD and dyslexia, the school system failed him. His folks died and left him holding his brothers together by a thread. He’s pretty but not pretty enough for Sandy to stay. He might end up dying in Vietnam, and thank God that isn’t canon, but it’s still there. He’s happy to live life simply, behind a white picket fence with a wife and kids- hell, he’s thrilled to. But that’s not gonna happen, at least not for a while, because Soda is a tragedy. But he loves his brothers and his friends so much that he becomes a beacon of hope despite it all.

  I love Soda. Honestly, this barely scratches the surface of how I feel about him. I haven’t even touched on the adrenaline junkie stuff or the ways he’s sometimes so relatable to me that it hurts. 

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Steve, and sometimes Evie. 

  I’ve found I’m a friends-to-lovers enjoyer, so Stevepop scratches that part of my brain lol. To have someone who’s got your back through thick and thin, aware of your flaws but in spite of them- well, ain’t that the dream? The angst of it being the 60s makes it interesting to me too, because there’s a lot of ways to handle that. Man, when I first read the book I didn’t get the hype for them at all, but idk. It clicked. I get it now. 

  And then Steviepop is my roman empire lol. It’s all I love about Stevepop, but Evie adds even more complexity. I like her a lot and I love writing her, and I love writing her with characters who I also love. There is absolutely no canon anything to back this ship up. But dammit that’s the point of fandom.

  I will say though that I like exploring Soda’s dynamic with Sandy, but I don’t really ship them. I think the fact that Sandy left him (and I mean cheated on him, even if that can be read ambiguously) implies that there’s something about him that could be undesirable, romantically. I don’t mean cheating is good or that people deserve it, just that in this case, the idea that Soda’s an imperfect boyfriend adds layers to a character who is mostly just positives. We’ll never know Sandy’s POV on it, and I don’t think Soda will either. Sandypop to me will never have closure. That’s what makes it hurt so much. That’s what makes it relatable

My non-romantic OTP for this character

  I mean honestly? Steve. I know this isn’t really fair, since I like Stevepop and all, but idk, there’s no one else who I think it could be. 

  Steve’s a character who’s cocky and troubled and prone to assholeish-ness, but even he loves Soda. He knows about Sandy and gets angry on Soda’s behalf at Pony for mentioning her, which means Soda can tell him- angry, tough Steve Randle- about sensitive stuff. And Soda, who I think is a little in love with everyone he meets and could have anyone he wants, sees this bastard and sticks with him. He sees the parts of Steve that Pony can’t. Parts that make him worthy of being his best buddy.

It’s been said before, but no matter how you look at it, romantic or platonic, they’re each other’s person. I don’t think I could put anyone else in this slot.

My unpopular opinion about this character

 I have a few lol.

1- I see a lotta fics and takes where the whole “drunk on living” thing is a lie Soda feeds Ponyboy, and while I like that take, I do also think it’s totally possible and even plausible that Soda really doesn’t drink and Pony’s view of him (in that aspect) is right.

  I dunno, I mean, I know firsthand what it’s like to just get drunk on adrenaline/excitement. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug, and the rush from it is better than any other high I’ve had. Thrill rides make me act as stupid as someone drinking- when I’m excited, I lose all ability to filter thoughts or fight impulses. I’ve done all sorts of dumb moves- climbing onto tables, singing loudly without knowing or caring if it bothers people, play-fighting my buddies so hard we both get genuinely injured, standing up in a convertible going down the freeway... (This is obviously anecdotal and not real evidence or anything, but like, duh. This is an opinion piece lol.)

  I guess what I’m saying is that there’s a lot of interesting things that can still be done with a Soda who genuinely doesn’t drink. (Or at least not much.)

2- I love darker takes on Soda. I love when people dig into his addictive personality, his temper, his relationship with his looks/self image, all that stuff. I love his flaws, and I especially love when they co-exist with his earnest sweetness and genuine sensitivity. In a few of my fics, I’ve explored some slightly darker Sodas- Sodas who are impulsive, pent up, semi-narcissistic and occasionally manipulative. I haven’t delved deep into it or anything, and I usually keep his character wholesome, but I love it when other folks don’t. 

3- I actually really like the Vietnam War storyline. I mean it hurts, but it seems plausible. I hate the idea of him dying there, but I like exploring the idea of him being drafted. Hell, maybe he even enlisted. The military is known for being a good way to earn enough money to pull one’s family out of poverty, and this paired with the flawed ideas of masculinity and strength of the time lead to a really interesting version of Soda’s future.

  I’m real glad it isn’t canon though.

4- This isn’t technically unpopular but brown eyed Soda will always be canon to me. I like Rob Lowe’s Soda a lot but man….he coulda used brown contacts, yk? /hj lol

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Well I still think it’s a crime his emotional monologue got cut outta the original version of the film. Thank God for the full novel version, but man, still.

Woulda also have been cool to see him mentioned in That Was Then This is Now, but I get that SE Hinton wasn’t trying to make an Outsiders sequel really.

Idk, Soda served his purpose, I think. 

tl;dr- I love him

[the-himawari]

A3! Sakisaka Muku - Translation [SSR] MANKAI Treasure (1/3)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Muku: Thank you kindly for listening…!

*claps*

Kumon: That was totally awesome! Now I wanna read all the manga you introduced. Let me borrow ‘em, kay!

Izumi: Yeah, I’d like to read them too.

Sakyo: Sakisaka’s presentations are great ‘n easy to follow.

Kazunari: I know, right! He totes got the charm of the all stories and the characters across!

Taichi: The Shoujo Manga Appreciation Club’s recommended manga presentations aren't held that often, but they're a blast every time!

Sakuya: We can get to know an interesting work every time we attend. It’s exciting to hear what everyone has to say.

Izumi: Hey, now that I think about it, all the manga that Muku-kun introduced this time had a jewel motif.

Sakyo: Is there a reason why you decided to stick to a jewel motif as the theme?

Muku: There is! My birthday bromide photoshoot is coming up soon, so seeing as the outfit I’m going to wear sparkles like a jewel… I figured it might be nice to introduce manga with a jewel motif for the next presentation.

Kazunari: Ooh, I see~. That choice screams Mukkun, alright!

Kumon: I can’t wait to see your bromides too, Muku!

Muku: Thanks. I’ll try my best to shoot some lovely bromides.

Kumon: Speaking of bromides, one fun part of the project this time is definitely the “treasure hunt”. Am I right!

Sakyo: You mean that project you started ‘cause the outfits are shiny and remind you of treasure?

Taichi: Oh right. The birthday boy looks at a note with a hint on it and goes searching for their present and the person who prepared it!

Kazunari: Right-o! Btw, we’re asking each birthday boy to film a video. But it’s just gonna be like a home video for your own records and memories.

Sakuya: They’ll make wonderful keepsakes.

Muku: Before this, I prepared a present for Misumi-san. It was fun waiting for Misumi-san to come with my heart racing in my chest. It’ll be my turn to go searching this time, but I wonder if I’ll be able to find my presents…

Kumon: It’s fine. If it’s you, then I’m sure you’ll be able to spot them!

Muku: Ehehe… You think so? I’m really looking forward to it though.

Kazunari: This treasure hunting project was your idea, Mukkun. You gotta enjoy it more than anyone else, ‘kay!

Muku: Right!

-pause-

Izumi: Here you go, Muku-kun. Here’s the camera, and here’s the sheet with the hint.

Muku: Thank you very much! I’m going to film myself while searching for the treasure, right? Since I’m here, I guess I’ll try filming from the moment I open my hint.

Izumi: In that case, should I hold the camera for you right now?

Muku: Is that alright? Please do!

Izumi: Okay, I'm starting. …And action!

*beep*

Muku: Director-san gave me the present hint sheet, so I’d like to open it right away. The hint says… “the beginning of the presentation”. Ah, could this mean…! I have an idea where this could be. I’m going to head there now. I’ll be off then, Director-san!

Izumi: See you, and take care!

---

| next

[leashybebes]

#in my deeply and thoroughly jossed tommy begins fic which i will get to some day he denies that he's traumatised because he's just #"a messy closet case who's never too far from tears when he's alone with himself" and it's like i wrote that and rewired my own brain

*ears perking up*👀👀👀

I just know this is gonna be so good!!!🩵

(Comes from a person who also denies she’s traumatized)

Ooh, thank you! I have around 5k of it written, but I wrote myself into a corner with the structure and got annoyed with myself. For you, a snippet 💖 (We can also call this fic Tommy Goes To Therapy or Tommy vs. The Trauma Checklist Agenda)

Tommy is twenty seven years old and he is trying. He is twenty seven and he is figuring himself out and he feels like a teenager, like a failure. It's horrible and difficult and mostly it feels like he gets an hour a week to pick over the corpses of his mistakes. But he thinks about the specifics, little things like having someone to drop by the firehouse in the middle of a long shift, like Hen's wife, or Howie's latest ill-advised squeeze. He thinks about not being so fucking careful all the time that he feels like he's going to shatter.

He thinks - he thinks - it will be worth it. So. Tommy is twenty seven and he feels like he's white-knuckling his way through every human interaction, but he is really, really trying.

The first time Zarah names the thing at the root of his fear as trauma, Tommy recoils. Because he's seen what trauma has done to people and he, what? He's a messy closet case who's never particularly far from tears when he's alone with himself. Wow. He knows Zarah doesn't like it when he thinks about himself in that disparaging way, but right now he doesn't care what she likes. It's stupid. He's not traumatized just because he made a shitty decision as a teenager and regrets it now.

He comes around a little when she gives him a couple of checklists to fill out, and when she makes it clear she's not talking about military trauma. Or not just that, anyway. 

One sticks out in particular, a trauma risk checklist, and Tommy remembers the high risk column blurring as he read avoidance coping style and poor self regulation of emotion and poor parent-child relationship. So. So, maybe. Maybe he's at higher risk than average but nothing really - not that nothing happened, Tommy saw shit, did shit, but no more than anyone else. No catastrophic failure, no desert crashes, no more than the usual number of desperate firefights.

"You weren't scared?" Zarah asks, looking interested.

"What?"

"I mean you've said you're scared of someone finding out right now, when you work for an organization which - while regressive in places as you've unfortunately experienced - doesn't have any active regulations against you fully experiencing your sexuality. I'm wondering why that wasn't the case then."

"I - " Tommy is stumped.