#just fucked up my whole life manipulated me used me as a side piece had a whole minor apocalypse over me Ruining Your Band

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

Now why does hearing that The Guitarist’s band has NEVER talked shit about me to their manager cut deeper and feel way more fucked up and triggering than hearing they had would be

[harbingerscry]

Graves Relationship HCs

I am unapologetically down bad for this man, thank you Tech, I am what you created. Big thanks to Luci and Tech for letting me bounce ideas off of them. I also let my southern out while typing this because I feel like this is an appropriate character to do it with.

This contains NSFW content.

Graves loves you, his partner, more than he can verbally express, which is why his hands are constantly on you. In your home, at the store, walking down the road, even on base in front of his Shadows, it does not matter. It could be as simple as him holding your hip or hand. When he's feeling needy or cheeky though, his hand is in the back pocket of your jeans or, if y'all are seated, he's caressing the inside of your thigh and inching ever closer to the heat hidden between your legs. The man is a certified fiend, I don't know what you expected.

Got jewelry on? He's rubbing it between his fingers, fiddling with it, admiring how it feels and how it looks on you. He loves it because he's bought you every piece of jewelry you wear and it serves as a reminder to himself that he can provide for you. It also feeds his possessive nature, even if he won't openly admit it.

Darlin', sweetheart, baby, pumpkin, doll, he's calling you everything under the sun just to see you smile at him.

That all changes at night when he's balls deep inside you, fucking you into the mattress like the man has been deprived of pleasure his whole life. Those cute pet names only serve to mock and tease.

"Fuuuck, look at my little pumpkin~ Not even able to keep those pretty eyes on me when I ask. Always so fuckin' stupid under me." Philip's smirk was wicked as he pulled on the leg hooked over his shoulder, using it as leverage to bully his cock impossibly deeper into you. Fuck if it didn't feel like Heaven as he rocked inside you. He could feel what it did to you too, the way your walls clenched around him even tighter, threatening to push him out as your whines of his name got louder. "Shh, it's okay baby, just take it"

You can bet your sweet ass you have some bruises and you're having to hide some very visible hickies with your favorite concealer. You could have the biggest pout on your lips about it and he'd just be smug as can be.

"Come on sweetheart, just shows how much I love you." You wanted to wipe that smug smirk off his face at this moment, but nothing you've ever done has. "We're having lunch with your parent's Phillip!" You were pouting, small tears of frustration threatening to well up. It's not because he marked you, but because the outfit he wanted you to wear left your neck and part of your chest exposed, showing off the small galaxy he had made. Graves' chest jolted as he held back his laughs, pressing his lips to the side of your head like it would help silence him. All you could do was reach around and slap his hip in retaliation which just made him finally laugh out loud. "O-Okay baby, you can pick a different top, just no more poutin'."

Oh yeah, by the way, if he's home and you're getting ready he's switching out whatever you intended to wear with something that pairs well with he's wearing. If he's wearing a white polo and jeans he's pulling out that pretty white and pink floral dress/top he got you for your birthday. It's another small way he makes sure everyone knows you're his.

Also, You and your friends want to go out for the night? He's instantly offering to cook for everyone because he doesn't want you out of the house. You don't know it (or maybe you do) but it's because he can't stand you being where he won't or can't be. It's always cleverly hidden under excuses and reasons that make sense if you don't look too deep. Man is a master manipulator when he needs to be.

"Me and the (ladies/guys) were talking about going to the new restaurant downtown for a (girls/guys) night this Saturday, is that okay with you baby?" You called out from the bathroom of your shared bedroom. Phillip immediately tensed from where he was sat in the bed, the hand he was using to scroll on his iPad stilled as he thought of ways to keep you home. "Well, it was supposed to be a surprise but, I was planning a date night for us that evenin'...." You turned off the bathroom light and you padded over to the bed, climbing in next to him. Your body immediately attached itself to his as you snuggled up. "I'm sorry baby, I didn't know. I could just tell them I can't join?" You couldn't help but feel bad, after all, he worked so hard but still made time for you. "No, I know you want to see your friends. Maybe you and the (ladies/guys) could have your night here and I'll cook?" Phillip turned off his iPad and sat it on the nightstand, making a small show of giving you his undivided attention. "That's a lot though, I don't want you overworking yourself more than you already do..." You bit at your lip as you looked up at him with worry. "Pumpkin, if it makes you happy that ain't nothin'. You deserve to be spoiled. Besides, once they leave we can have our alone time and I'll get all the rest I need." The 'our' was accented by a seductive smirk and kiss to the side of your head as he wrapped an arm around you. When you texted the group chat the following morning everyone was happy to agree to coming over. They love his cooking, plus who would ever say no to free food?

I also have to warn you, Graves is a mama's boy. Luckily though, he's not the kind who worships his mom or picks her side over yours. There have been many times his mother has tried to split the two of you up or been nasty towards you. Each time is happens though it is quickly shut down because Graves' isn't going to put up with it. He'll be down right disrespectful to her when she does it and not even bat an eye when she starts getting upset because you've 'turned her baby against her'. He left home young for multiple reasons and she was one of the biggest ones, regardless of how much he loves her.

At the end of the day, this man would choose very few things over you. He's possessive, cunning, manipulative, but his feelings are very much real. He would never put you in danger or hurt you intentionally. That doesn't mean he hasn't before, when he gets mad his mouth moves before his brain. He's stubborn and doesn't like to apologize, but once he realizes how bad he's fucked up he's doing whatever it takes for you to smile at him again.

[devoureddreaa]

diary of a mad black woman

i’m totally not projecting in this /hj. buuuuuut, i love love love the movie: diary of a mad black woman. probably the best piece of fiction tyler perry has created. but, i hope you enjooooy!!

cw: toji is an asshole (mb…), you’re gonna be kind of a bitch too if you squint, relationship issues, infidelity issues (on both sides), an established relationship coming to an end, you’re not getting back with him….. (sorry not sorry), uhh y/n is black woman coded (hii ting at the title). lemme know if i forgot anything !!!!

five long, draining years.

five years ago..you married toji right after you two graduated. don’t worry, your clan didn’t sell you. marrying toji is what you wanted to do. only god knew how bad of a decision you were

toji fushiguro, had his owns dreams and aspirations. ones that most possibly didn’t involve you whatsoever, but you forced yourself into them. the first year was just fine, it was like you were laying on cloud nine.

that was until you were pushed off that cloud.

he moved you away from your home. he wanted to “forget about the past” he said, and leave everything behind. and that included your own family..you didn’t know how long it had been since you last heard their voices. now you were isolated, and that only made things worse cause toji knew what sort of power he had over you now.

you did anything in your power to stay in his vision. whether that was dealing with his manipulative behavior, or even his infidelity..you sticked around.

cause you loved him??

or cause you didn’t have anyone else to go to?

weird, cause then you got kicked out of your own home and he got a divorce. he packed all your shit in a truck and replaced you for some hooker. bet enough booger sugar and lube got her to stay. you drove that truck back over to your grandmothers house…who almost shot you since it was the middle of the night. you got over it after a few months. got a job, made friends, reconnected with family..even your mother, and maybe even found some newfound love.

that’s until toji got injured and he was temporarily paralyzed. the hooker he wanted so badly wanted to leave him for dead, but you..were still legally his wife. so you made the last call.

to keep him alive.

as you sat there, thinking about picking up the pieces of what used to be your life..you realized something. every room in this place that you used to call home held a painful memory for you. even though toji’s suffering…something in you wants him to suffer even more. few months in a divorce can take a person through just as many emotions as five years in a marriage. oh, and you’re starting to feel all of them at once.

but the one that is clear…is rage.

now here you were, in your old home, in the office looking for old bill files for him. while he sat in his wheelchair…quietly.

shuffling through the stake of papers, you started to shake your head. “i don’t see it..”

toji’s head perked up, “you don’t see it?” he repeated, in somewhat of a mocking tone..

“no.”

he scoffed, “you really are good for nothing.” here he goes again. “find my bank statement and get the accountant on the phone.”

you looked up from the stack of papers and looked up at him. into those dead cold eyes, those eyes that used to give you so much love..but now…they just give you a whole lotta hurt.

“then call somebody, anybody and you can leave.” toji motioned down to the wheelchair he was sitting it. “this, is not gonna beat me.”

“oh really?” you’re tone was cold, ice cold. you were watching a grown man, that was fully capable of finding his own bank statements, throw a fit cause you couldn’t find it.

his legs were paralyzed, not his fucking arms.

“yea, and whatchu staring at?”

“you get stabbed in the spine, and you’re still the same.”

“i am who i am, and im gonna die that way. toots.” toji gave you a dirty, damn near disgusting look as he looked you up and down. “i don’t even know why you’re here, i’m not givin’ you shit. matter fact, where are my kids?”

“you done, toji?”

“yknow what bitch, just get out.”

you could feel your jaw clenched up when he said that.

he pinched the bridge of his nose, “i ask you to do one simple thing, and you can even do that after five— get out!”

you dropped the papers that were in your hands, you got up from the rather comfortable leather seat. grabbed your things from off the desk and proceeded to take your exit back home quietly.

but then you stopped.

who the hell is he? the man who hasn’t dont anything but hurt you. and now…you were about to let him keep doing exactly that? keep letting him control you like some toy. nah…that ain’t gon slide. before you could even think about it, your arm swung forward then swung back..the back of your hand connecting with toji’s face.

you turned yourself back around and leaned down to face him, placing your hands on the arm rest of the wheelchair..practically caging him in.

“let me explain something to you.” your tone of voice was sick, nasty. it was damn near like you were spitting pure vemon. “old y/n..is gone. and you will not talk to me like that.”

“now i came here..to help you. but now, i’m here to get even.”

“y/n, you—”

“shut up!” your yell echoed through the quiet home, the rain outside just barely being able to heard over it.

“you want your whore..” you walked over and grabbed the picture of toji and his little hooker..that was framed in a pretty little frame. “and your damn kids?”

you raised your arms up and threw the picture onto the ground, shattering the frame. “do you see what you left me for?!” you bend down and quickly picked up the picture, shoving it in toji’s face.

“this..is what you left me for!”

you started to rip the picture to shreds right in front of him, letting the loose parts fall to the floor. “she didn’t give a damn ‘bout you toji, she told them to let you die.!”

you walked back over by the desk, using your arms to sweep the top of it clean..everything falling on the floor, some of it even breaking.

“and yknow what’s funny? hm?” a condescending smile grew on your face. “i fucking gave you life boy, even though you took it from me.”

you’ve never seen toji so quiet and still before for how long you’ve known, but oh, that didn’t mean you were about to let up. you grabbed a play bat that was sitting on the floor..

“ya kids..your boys.” you swung the plastic bat and hit toji in the head. “i wanted children toji! and had you not been a public sex-stop, we would have them!”

you backed away and anger started to consume you. it showed in your face, your body movement, even in the way your heart was racing. you didn’t know if this felt good or not..

“got me all stressed out, my hair fallin’ out, my weight up ‘n down, can’t keep anything down! two miscarriages! you took life from me, and you never even said ‘i’m sorry’..”

was that it? the end of your rant.

hell nah, you walked out of that office. and you let toji sit there alone for a few days. when you can back it smelt rancid.

“god..” you groaned and covered your nose. walking up behind him. “ya smell like shit.”

you grabbed the handle bars and started to walk, then you started to run towards the bathroom.

“y/n. hell are doing?” toji asked, a bit afraid (that’s a new one.)

you ignored his concerns, barging through the bathroom doors to reveal a tub filled with water and a little bit of bubbles.

“y/n, stop—!”

the wheelchair hit the edge and toji was flipped over into the water. you pushed the wheelchair back and watched him, in silence for a bit.

“bathe him, feed him, clothe him..they say.” you say on the edge of the bathtub just watching him. “what bout me, huh? and jesus, stop lookin’ like an idiot.”

you begin to light a cigarette while toji just laid in the slightly cold water. “you try and..kick me out of our house, and keep me away from our money? hell nah. fuck nah, at that.”

you looked back over to see that toji’s head was started to submerge under the water. you quickly got up, dropped your cigarette in the water, and practically dragged toji back up to the surface.

“remember toji, i was there..when all you had was me.”

you stepped out of the tub and left him there.

later, you both sat at the oddly long dinner table. you on one side, and toji on the other. weird thing was you had a plate with a salad on it, and toji? he didn’t have a thing in front of him.

meanwhile, you were eating like it was the best salad you had ever had.

suddenly, toji had..started to cry? “y/n..”

your eyes perked up, “awe, you hungry?”

maybe he was. but who fucking cared? “hm..maybe you should go into the kitchen and get yourself something to eat then hm?” the smile on your face was brutal

“christina..” toji quietly cried out.

you looked over your shoulder, confused. “christina?!” you looked back over at the pitiful man in front of you..trying to hold back to boiling laughter. “christina’s gone…”

you smiled wildly, “your little tramp didn’t have any money to her so she left.” looking back down at your plate using your fork to pick up for more food. “just like your slut.”

“she packed all her shit, and some of yours toji fushiguro..and went on her merry way.” you started to laugh. “come to think of it..she cleaned out your bank account. all of it!”

“oh, sweetheart, you tried to keep from me? and she ended up taking it all..huh?!” you started to laugh even harder, throwing your head back and slamming your fist on to the table.

this was even better then therapy.

“toji..you are like soooo many men.” you paused to get a good look at him. “you’d rather lay with dogs then make it work with a women.”

“you’re a bitch ass, toji..a coward.”

you forcefully pushed your plate of food, sending it flying across the table towards toji. it ended up landing on his lap and some fell onto the floor. but you sure as hell weren’t gonna pick it up, you got up and went upstairs to go to sleep.

toji ended up getting better, and you let all your anger out on him..later forgiving him. you took that divorce as a blessing, the thing you used to see as curse. he still loved you, but you didn’t love him the same. you didn’t want to be back with him. pain can hurt someone, but it won’t change anybody; and toji is a perfect example of that.

but you? oh you knew better. and anyone that would cross you in the future would learn that.

signed,

a mad black woman.

did it well…and did it good. PLSASE WATXH HIS MOVIE, I LOVE IT!!! anywho coming with the content..smash that like button for more bangers!!! /lhj but, hope you enjoyed!! love you baaaaaaai (if you saw any typos..not you didn’t)

[99hook]

Empty Promises

Synopsis: he no longer kissed you without the taste of another woman on the tip of his tongue

Warnings: extreme angst, cursing, endless arguments, smutty flashbacks, cheating, lying, manipulation

A/N: you guys reallllly wanted angst so here it is! Unlike the rest of the fics I’ve written this far, there’s no happy ending here. If you’re an emotional girlie like me maybe grab some tissues. Enjoy!

(Hes a major dick in this one so if that’s something you don’t like, I wouldn’t read it)

Italics=flashbacks

Standing in front of him now, being forced to feel the complete carelessness he doesn’t bother to hide, you stare up at him through the tears blurring your vision. You couldn’t figure out how you got here. You wondered how you were so oblivious to the signs that giving him your heart was the deadliest choice you could’ve ever made.

His eyes were low and shadowed by the hoodie that had the scent of perfume that was not your own embedded in the fabric. There was no empathy, no remorse whatsoever for what he’s done to you. He can see clear as day that he took a girl who was formerly so happy, so joyous, so naturally herself, and he broke her down piece by piece until she became nothing but a shattered version of who she used to be.

And he would be lying for the thousandth time if he told you that he was sorry for what he’s turned you into.

“I thought you loved me.” You croak, doing everything you possibly could not to let another dam break loose in front of him. “You told me that! You told me that I was the one for you! That it was always going to be me and you in the end, no matter what!” Your strained voice bounced off the walls. Your heart was spilling out of your chest and he just stood there like it didn’t affect him in the slightest.

“I have been there for you through everything!” You reminded him, “From your debut in AEW to now, I’ve been your biggest fan! I’ve been nothing but your biggest supporter! I’ve changed my whole life around for you! So we could be together like you told me you wanted!”

The memories came rushing back right before your eyes. The times when it was simply you, Tyler and all the love the two of you could ever possibly pour into each other. The late night phone calls after his matches when you were the one he wanted to tell everything to and the times you were front row cheering him on. It all came flooding back as you stood in front of him, feeling the impending end.

“This is all I thought about tonight” he whispered against your lips as he cupped your cheek with his taped up hand. His other hand gripped your hip as he thrusted himself into you, rocking you against the closed door he had you pinned to.

You lulled your head to the side and his lips trailed their way to your neck, slowly sucking on your heated skin that was soon to be left with a purple discoloration, a way of claiming you, in his mind.

You had to muffle your moans and used his broad shoulder to do so, biting down on his slick skin when he pulled his hips back just to slam right back into you. There were people walking past the room and you could hear the muffled conversations through the door but Tyler didn’t care. After his debut he was so amped up he sent you a text from where you were leaning against the barricade and told you he needed you immediately.

Having you front row cheering him on did nothing but make his adrenaline rush that much more, which served as the reason why he couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel to have you like this.

Your legs locked around his hips and soon your hands were pinned above your head when he leaned back and picked up the pace, knowing it wouldn’t be long until someone needed to use the locker room.

He watched his cock disappear and reappear with your sweet, shiny juices coating every inch before he brought his sights to your face, loving the way you were trying so hard to contain the loud moans and whimpers threatening to break through.

“You’re so fucking beautiful” he huffed out rather breathlessly, “all the time but especially like this, God I can’t wait to get you back to the hotel so I can fuck you like this all night long” he groaned as he pressed his forehead to yours and brushed his lips over your own.

Hot breaths and low sighs, moans and whimpers intermingled between you before he hit a particular spot that he knew was going to make you scream. He covered your mouth with his hand and snapped his hips into you and out so forcefully that you couldn’t control anything your body was doing.

Blissed out and ever so dazed you were snatched back to the moment as soon as his lips lingered to the shell of your ear and he breathlessly whispered, “I love you, Y/N” for the first time.

The memory that used to make your heart swell now sickened you when you realize he never meant anything he said. The lies he’s told you over the years that you’ve had to find out in the most heart wrenching of ways. The harsh realization that while you were completely and utterly his from the start, he was never yours at all.

The way you loved him was what destroyed you. You put everything on hold for him without a second thought and he never considered to do anything like that for you. You were always there the second he needed you but when you needed him there would be excuses made left and right until it was of his convenience. You gave him everything you possibly possessed and willingly took all of it and let it die in his hands.

“How many times am I supposed to let you do this to me?” You ask, shaking your head. “How many times are you going to lie to me, Tyler?!”

His emotionless state was making you internally plead for something. For anything that showed that he had at least some sort of heart buried deep down. You couldn’t understand how he could watch you fall apart right before his own eyes and not feel a single thing after everything you’ve been through together.

“Fucking say something, Tyler! Anything!” You shout, begging damn near.

He eyes you over before he drops his head and plops down on the couch, staring down at his feet with his head hung low as he shrugs his shoulders. “What do you want me to say, Y/N?” He muttered before he lifted his gaze. “That I’m sorry? Haven’t I said that enough?”

“I don’t give a fuck about an apology anymore because I know you never fucking mean it!” You felt like a broken record replaying over and over again. “I want answers! I want to know why you keep fucking destroying me! I want to know why you keep lying! Why you can’t keep your fucking dick in your pants when I’m not around! What the fuck did I do to deserve any of this?!”

He remained silent as he stared up at you, watching the tears stream down your cheeks. You dropped to the other end of the couch and let your head fall in your hands, mascara staining your palms as you completely fell apart.

“Don’t cry, please.” He whispers from above you as you bury your face in his chest. “It’s only a few weeks. I’ll be coming back to you as soon as I can.”

You pulled back and wiped your eyes, but it did no use. You looked up at him for what was going to be the last time for a while. He was going to be on the road and you were going back to school to finish out your degree. The only time you’d be seeing him was on tv, on FaceTime or all over the internet and it was killing you both.

He looked down at you and swallowed thickly. He was doing his best not to break down too, but seeing the tears on your face was shattering his heart.

“I’m gonna miss you.” You whimpered as you cupped his cheek, and he leaned into your palm. “But I’m so proud of you, and I’ll be watching dynamite and rampage every single time you’re on.”

His lips tipped up before you pressed yours to them. Taz came and tapped his shoulder, breaking the two of you apart. “Planes boarding, bud.”

You unwrapped your arms from around him and he grabbed your hands, squeezing them once before letting them slip. Then he took a step back to let taz hug you goodbye.

“It’ll be alright, you two will be back together again before you know it. Go get that degree, kid.”

When you pulled back, Tyler was standing behind you with his suitcase in hand. His eyes were tinged red but he must have wiped away the tears. You gave him one last kiss as he whispered against your lips, “I love you, and remember that when it gets hard without me.”

You nodded, pulling apart for the final time. “See you soon, champ.”

You remember Taz telling you later on that Tyler was just trying to hold it all together in front of you, but when he got on the plane he bawled like a baby.

You couldn’t understand how he was able to sit in front of you, watching you completely fall to pieces over what he has done and not shed a single tear. You heard him shifting on the couch cushions before you felt him get up, pulling your hands away from your eyes only to see him heading to the kitchen, grabbing a beer from the fridge and casually coming back to take his seat.

“I don’t fucking understand, Tyler.” You sniffled as you tried wiping the wetness off of your cheeks. You looked over at him but he was staring out the window, up at the moon as he tipped his bottle back and chugged.

You didn’t take the time to really process before you reached over and snatched the bottle out of his hands. He cut his eyes at you, “Give me my fucking drink back.” He demanded with an all too non suggestive tone, but you didn’t. You got up and walked over to the kitchen and stared at him as you poured it down the drain.

“Fuck your drink” your spat as you came back over to him. “You owe it to me to fucking explain yourself, Tyler! You fucking owe that to me!”

“I don’t owe anybody shit.” He muttered as he stood from the couch again. You stared up at him, your eyes following him back to the kitchen, where he grabbed another beer and stared dead at you while he tipped his head back and chugged.

Just then, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He grabbed it, looking down at the screen and he had the audacity to let a smirk slip across his lips. You knew who was texting him. It was two in the morning.

“Are you fucking serious?” You felt your eye twitch. He lifted his head and wiped the smirk away with the back of his hand. “Right in front of me?”

“It was my dad.”

“Then show me.” You stood up, crossing your arms as you eyed the phone that he quickly locked and stuffed back in his pocket. That alone told you what you already knew.

“You’re fucking lying again!” You shout, your voice trembling before it cracked. “God Tyler do you ever fucking stop!”

“Do you?!” He shouted back, his voice bellowing out so loud it caused you to take a step back. “You’re always fucking doing this! All you ever want to do anymore is fight and bitch and moan all the fucking time!” His eyes were filled with fury now and it was a stark contrast from the lifelessness you were unfortunately used to.

You found yourself speechless for a moment. You couldn’t believe he was turning the tables on you when he was the one who caused all of this in the first place. You’d gotten in many arguments over the years but it seemed that they just kept escalating and escalating and your brain flashed back to the very first one, and how you were so foolish to believe that you could patch things up under his bedsheets after.

“I told you, I’ve been busy.” He grumbled as he ran a towel through his wet hair.

“I’ve been busy too, but I still make time for you, Tyler.” You point out as you sit on the edge of the hotel room bed. “I’m supposed to be at school right now but I took a few days off for you.”

“I never asked you to do that. You really should be at school right now. I’m not the one who told you to take days off.” He said as he tossed the towel into the hamper and grabbed his hoodie. “I already told Ethan I would meet them in the lobby way before you showed up. Just stay here and when I come back we’ll spend time together. I can’t help that I had plans already.”

Watching him throw that hoodie on felt like you’d lost the argument. He leaned down and placed a kiss to your cheek briefly before he headed towards the door. “Love ya.” He said before he headed out.

You waited all night for him. Around two he stopped answering your texts. You ended up texting Ethan just to make sure everything was okay, but didn’t get a reply back until four in the morning.

You woke up to Tyler’s arms snaking around your waist from behind and the sun peeking through the blinds. The tear soaked pillow stuck to your cheek and peeled from your skin as you rolled over to face him. His eyes were bloodshot and breath reeked of tequila but, at that point you were so exhausted from crying that you didn’t have the energy to tell him how you felt.

His hand trailed down to your thigh where the end of his shirt laid against your skin and he slipped it underneath until he found your panties. His lips latched to your neck, roughly sucking your skin as his drunken voice muttered, “Missed you” against it.

You knew you were putty in his hands and allowed it anyway. You felt the distance between the two of you and that alone terrified you to no end, so whatever you could do to bring that closeness, that connection back, you’d do it in a heartbeat.

That led to him lazily thrusting into you moments later from behind. He held your thigh hiked up on his hip and with every thrust he huffed the strong scent of tequila against your cheeks. He buried his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly pushed into you, and despite how the night began, you couldn’t help but to moan his name as he held you tight.

Despite the way you wanted to tell him just how bad it hurt that he left you for so long, you swept it all under the rug and took the way he was peppering kisses to your skin, muttering your name under his breath and two i love you’s as his apology.

You knew this wasn’t the type of fight that could be smoothed over by a quick and meaningless fuck that only felt like it was passionate at the time.

This was time and time again of multiple arguments, hundreds of lies and infidelities being stuffed in a bottle until the cap blew off.

“You can’t turn this around on me anymore.” You glare at him, watching as he glared right back. “I wasn’t the one who fucked someone else when we were apart! I was the one trying to call you every single night to tell you how much I loved and missed you and you were the one going to strip clubs and parties and fucking every trashy whore you saw!”

“I didn’t just go out looking for bitches to fuck! It may seem that way in your twisted little brain but that’s not what fucking happened!” His chest heaved deeply as his words echoed through the room.

“Then what fucking happened?! Because I recall clear as day what I found out from multiple people except you!”

The text came through while you were sitting in class. It was from an unknown number but you didn’t pay attention to that when you saw the picture of Tyler and a blonde girl in his lap. It took everything for you not to burst into tears in the middle of the classroom. You’d had a gut feeling that things were off between the two of you but he always assured you that nothings changed and he can’t wait to get home to you.

You laid in your dorm room bed with your face buried in the pillows, crying until there were no tears left. Tyler didn’t answer when you called thirty two times and all you could think was that it was because he was with that girl.

Your heart physically ached, feeling like it was being squeezed by stone hands. Everything hurt but not nearly as much as the way his words kept echoing through your mind. All the I love you’s and I’ll never leave you’s, the lies. That’s all they were.

You got one single text from him at one in the morning and all he said was hey. He didn’t bother to answer when you immediately called and you knew he always had that phone on him. He was avoiding you. So you sent the picture and told him to explain it.

You double and triple texted for two days with no reply and for the first time ever you came to realize that it was over between you two. There was no more Tyler and Y/N and there was no closure either. You were in so much pain you could hardly stand to get out of bed but you needed that degree, and you had no choice but to force yourself to get it despite how much you’d rather stay curled under the bedsheets, crying until your eyes ran dry.

You got back to the dorms and drug your feet to your room. When you opened it, Tyler was sitting on the edge of your bed. He lifted his head and his reddened eyes met yours. Immediately you let the tears spill over and he rushed up to you, cupping your cheeks and tilting your head up to look at him.

He stared you straight in the eyes and said, “I’m so sorry. Im so sorry and I’ll never do it again. Please forgive me, babygirl. I know I don’t deserve it but I love you so much and I can’t lose you.”

You held onto every word. You believed him. You unfortunately always did.

“You’re nothing but a liar. You always were.” You shake your head as you feel disgust lurk inside of you. “You still can’t look me in the eyes and admit everything you’ve done. You still can’t own up to shit like a pussy little bitch!”

He scoffed and shook his head, looking away from you.

“It’s funny to you?! Really?!” You glared.

“Kinda, yeah.” He looks back at you and nods. “It’s funny cause you really don’t know shit.” He chuckled mockingly. “But you think you have it all figured out in that pretty little head of yours.”

“I’ve figured a lot more out than you think, Tyler. I just stopped begging you for the truth since it’s clear you’re too much of a fucking bitch to give it to me!”

A smirk played on his face and he dropped his head.

“You’ve figured out more than I think, huh?” He muttered beneath his breath. “So I guess you know about how your best friend tried to fuck me too?” He lifts his head and catches your reaction. “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” He chuckles again before he slips past you.

“You’re lying.” You cross your arms defensively.

“Yeah? Am I?” He smirked as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll show you the messages right now. She was tryna get me to come to her house when I went back home for the weekend and you were still away at school. If I supposedly fuck everybody, then why would I cuss this bitch out for trying to fuck her bestfriends boyfriend?”

You felt a new set of tears stinging your eyes and he noticed the way you were trying to hold them back. He shrugged. “I told you from the jump that girl wasn’t your friend. But you don’t trust me, so.”

You dropped your head, feeling a million weights bearing down on you. Your mind was in shambles as you stood in the middle of the room, feeling like you were permanently placed there, unable to move a muscle.

Tyler held his eyes on you and the lack of reaction. He expected more than that, but you had nothing at all to say and that wasn’t usual of you.

He was starting to get annoyed by all of the dramatics. All the fighting and the crying, especially. He yawned and outstretched his arms, rolling his head before he stepped closer to you. “Are we done fighting now?” His voice was suddenly no more than a soft whisper. “Cause I just wanna go to bed with you.”

You picked your head up and all he saw was pure devastation in your bloodshot eyes. You were weak and spineless. He’d effectively destroyed every inch of you from the inside out, even though he never intended to. Not from the beginning.

He almost didn’t recognize the shattered girl staring back at him. Those low, dead eyes were nothing like the bright and joyous, round and wide eyes that used to fill with adoration every time you looked at him. You never used to cry. You never used to yell. You never used to even be able to imagine the two of you fighting this bad.

Back when things were way too good to be true. And you wish you’d known that then.

“I’m so proud of you.” You grin from ear to ear as you lean your head on his shoulder. “You are by far the best FTW champion there will ever be.”

He placed a kiss to the top of your head as the two of you sat together on the couch, rewatching him winning the title earlier that night.

“I’m just glad you could be here.” He gave your thigh a squeeze. “It wouldn’t have been as special if i didn’t have you standing front row, supporting me.”

“I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, Tyler.” You look up at his relaxed face, and the gentle smile on it just as he looks down at you. His smile widens when he looks into your eyes. One of his favorite features. Didn’t matter how long you were together, he was always going to find himself lost within them.

“I love you.” He whispered before he placed a lingering kiss to those lips. “So much” he hummed against them.

He remembers that night for far more reasons that just winning the title. He remembers the pure excitement on your face the second his music hit and his eyes catching yours immediately in the swarm of faces around you. He remembers not even waiting for the show to be over before he told you to meet him back stage and sending one of the security guards to get you because all he wanted was to see you. All he wanted was to hug you and celebrate with you.

He had to push that memory out of his mind or else. He doesn’t like to live in the past.

You shook your head at him. “No. I’m not going to bed with you. I’m not doing that anymore.” You told him, taking a step back. “I can’t keep letting you do this to me, Tyler.”

He dropped his head back and sighed deeply, running his hand down his face before he found your eyes again.

“I can see how much you don’t care. I already know you never did.”

That’s when you heard another scoff and he looked away from you again, shaking his head. “Never did. Right.” He muttered only barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Yeah. I am right.” You shrugged your shoulders weakly. “I just wish I would’ve realized that you were never going to love me way before I fell in love with you.”

“Can you just fucking stop!” He suddenly shouts, eyes bursting with fire yet darkening by the passing second. “All this fucking talk about how I never loved you, never cared about you, it’s fucking bullshit and you know it! I made mistakes but that doesn’t mean I never fucking loved you, Y/N!”

You shook your head slightly. “If you did you never would’ve even thought about fucking anyone else but me, Tyler. It never would’ve been something that crossed through your mind and I know that because nothing like that ever crossed through mine and I loved you with every fucking thing in me!”

“People fucking make mistakes! I mean fuck what do you want from me? I’m not perfect but I fucking tried for the longest time and it was never good enough for you! You just wouldn’t trust me after that one incident and that pushed me further and further away from you! I can’t help it if I can’t sit here and be questioned all the fucking time like I’m under interrogation by you! I can’t help it if I don’t want to be haunted by the past forever!”

“Shut the fuck up Tyler.” You muttered, silencing him. “If it was one time that would be different, but you and I both know it was way more than that.”

“You did it again.” You whispered. By this point the tears had dried and the screaming match had simmered into an exhausted, dying conversation.

“She reminded me of you.” His eyes stayed on you, wishing you’d spare him a single glance but you couldn’t manage to look into those dark eyes that you loved way too much.

“You did it again.” You repeated, “after you promised me you’d never-“

“I missed you so much, y/n. So much it was painful for me to even breathe.”

“I missed you and I didn’t fuck anyone else, Tyler.” You finally raised your eyes and he caught the heartbreak shadowing them. “I just- I don’t understand. I don’t get why you-“

“Fuck y/n I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did it I just- she was there and she looked like you and she, fuck she even sounded like you and I was so drunk I somehow convinced myself that she was you.”

“But she wasn’t me.” You whispered weakly.

“No, she wasn’t. And I regret it more than any fucking thing. I swear to God I want to go back to that night and change everything, but I can’t baby. I can’t do that. All I can do is show you how sorry I am.”

He was breaking you down and you could feel it. Your heart always wanted him even though he was the worst thing for it.

He reached over and cupped your cheek with his warm hand. Your eyes falling to the floor when he held his gaze on you.

“Look at me, baby. Please.” His voice was pleading, cracking at the end. Your eyes met his and that was your biggest mistake.

“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry and I know you don’t believe that but I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you just how much I love you, and need you if you’ll give me that chance.”

You leaned into his palm, like you always would and caught the flash of relief washing over his face.

That all resulted in slow, sweet and passionate love making until the sun peeked through his curtains.

“I love you so much” he heavily whispered as he hovered over you, his hips rocking into you as a slow and steady pace. He placed warm kisses to from your forehead to your cheeks to your lips as he rolled his hips, driving so deep inside of you that your head was spinning.

“You’re so perfect for me” he breathed out as he cradled your face with his calloused yet gentle hands. “Everything about you, you’re an angel on this earth”

Your hands roamed down his back, nails digging into the same places that another woman’s hands had been. You wanted to feel him in that moment but you only imagined him saying these same things to her. Only imagined her nails clawing his skin. His lips against her cheeks. Her moans echoing through the air. And he didn’t even know that was all that was running through your mind as he intently studied your face, your response to his praises, your reactions to his body slickly gliding against yours.

When he went to sleep, you buried your face in the pillows and let your muffled sobs drench the fabric. But Tyler never knew that.

“I told you a long time ago that your constant questioning was doing nothing but pushing me away.” He tells you. “And you kept on, and kept on until I finally just snapped and said fuck it. If she doesn’t trust me then why should I keep trying?”

“Keep trying? When did you even start trying?” You countered. “You always had lingering eyes everywhere we went. You never even held my hand when other women you work with were around us. You never wanted anyone to think you were taken because you wanted to keep your options open, and still wouldn’t let me go. You should’ve left me alone the first time we broke up, but you couldn’t do that, could you Tyler? Because you needed your solid ground when the other bitches didn’t work out.”

“I couldn’t let you go because I fucking loved you!” He took a large step foward, closing the space between you. “When you left me I was fucking devastated! I tried to move on and everything reminded me of you!”

You rolled your eyes, a scoff of your own passing through your lips. “Yeah, like the other two sluts you ended up fucking? Or was it the stripper shaking her ass in your face?”

His teeth clamped together behind his lips, his jaw throbbing.

“You had a funny way of showing you were devastated.”

“None of them meant shit to me! You did!” His eyes widened. “Do you know how many times I cried to my dad about you?! Do you know how long I waited for you to return a single text?! I was so fucking depressed Y/N I had to take a month off of work!”

He was doing it again. That affect he always had on you. Almost like it was a spell he had casted over you long ago, but you couldn’t let him do it this time. You couldn’t take anymore of this and he was beginning to realize it. That was probably the only reason he was fighting back this time.

“Yeah, I hung out with a few girls because I couldn’t stand being alone with my own thoughts anymore, but every night when I got back home to that empty fucking bed and your goddamned pillow still sitting next to mine, I broke down and begged God to give you back to me!”

You felt your heart being squeezed with a vice grip. His eyes welled up with tears but he quickly dropped his head the second you caught it.

“And I came back to you” you remind him, “and you betrayed me again.”

You watched his shoulders slouch, as if there were weights bearing down on them.

“You continued to lie to me about where you were. You continued deleting texts. You were still liking half naked girl’s pictures on instagram. Still entertaining bitches when you should’ve been only focused on me!”

He lifted his head but remained silent.

“I gave you so many chances and every single time, you showed me why I never should’ve said yes to you years ago when you said you wanted to be more than just my best friend.”

You saw the flash of pain in his eyes and you wished you really meant those words, but he believed you did.

“I can’t believe this is what we’re doing on senior ditch day” you chuckle as you plop a chip in your mouth, eyeing the movie on tv. “Everyone else is at the beach and we’re sitting at home watching a cheesy ass movie.”

“I told you we can go to the beach but you said you wanted to chill at my house instead” he points out as he reaches into the bag of chips sitting between you.

“Yeah, I know. I’m in an introverted mood today.” You shrug.

“Me too.” He says before he leans up and grabs his phone off the coffee table. “But I’m also hungry. This pizza needs to hurry up and get here.”

“What kind did you order?” You asked. “Please don’t say cheese only.”

A smirk spread across his lips but he shook his head. “Not this time. I know you can’t stand a naked pizza. I got pepperoni and meat lovers supreme”

“Thank God.” You chuckled. Just then the doorbell rings and he was quick to get up off that couch. You stayed there and waited for him to get back.

His phone buzzed next to you and you peeked down at the bubble across the screen, brows knitting in confusion when you read a text from his friend that said, “Just ask her out or shut up about it.”

He came back seconds later with two boxes in his hand and a grin plastered on his face as he brought the pizza into the living room and set it down on the coffee table.

“Who are you asking out?” You asked, pushing his phone closer to him. His eyes widened when he looked at you, his cheeks dusting over with a rosy hue.

“Uh- I- I don’t know.” He shrugs. “It’s nobody, really.”

“You didn’t tell me you liked anybody?” You pressed on, placing the chips down on the table and turning to face him fully. “Who is she? Do I know her?”

He grabbed his phone and slid it in his pocket before he shook his head. “No, not really.”

“Well what’s her name?” You asked. “Do you have a picture of her? What does he look like? You never have crushes on people I’m so intrigued right now-“

“It’s you, Y/N.” He confessed, his eyes trained on the floor.

You felt your heart suddenly flutter in your chest, skipping a beat, even.

“Me?” You asked, dumbfounded.

He only nodded, pulling his lips underneath his teeth as he tapped his fingers over his knee.

You were speechless and he was way too flustered to speak himself. You sat there in awkward silence for a few minutes before he finally broke through it.

“If you want me to take you home now, I understand.”

But you shook your head. “No.” You whispered, watching as his head turned to face you and a look of pure astonishment played on his face. “I wanna hang out here with you.” You tell him, reaching over and grabbing his hand. “And yes” you nod. “The answer is yes.”

How it was so simple back then. Two teenagers who fell in love so hard and so fast, thinking they had the world in the palm of their hands.

Life hit fast after he left for AEW and that was always your biggest fear. You held onto him with claws latched but it was never enough to keep him. He was only there when he wanted to be.

You stared back at the man before you. The man who was once, your best friend. Someone you confided in with all your petty high school drama and the crushes you had that never gave you the time of day.

The man who quickly became your first real love the summer after senior year. Many hot nights spent under the stars, laying on a blanket and talking about the future you really thought you would have together.

The man who turned into a quick rising star when he left school to peruse his dream. You were his biggest fan through it all. The pride you felt when he made a name for himself in the company and worked his ass off day in and day out to only make himself better.

All the times that you came to visit while he was on the road and you’d spend hours upon hours making up for lost time behind closed doors. Even got a noise complaint in Chicago.

Somehow that was the same man who manipulated you time and time again. The same man who lied to you constantly. Who took advantage of your forgiveness too many times to count. Who couldn’t be loyal when you weren’t around.

He still had those eyes you fell in love with even before you ever realized you did. He had that youthful face that made him appear so warm and so sweet but that just wasn’t who he was anymore. He wasn’t the same man you fell in love with and you weren’t the same girl either.

As much as you tried to prevent this, you knew you couldn’t anymore. As much as you wished you could bring that former version of him back, he just wasn’t in there anymore.

“Tyler” you inhaled a shaky breath, and he could tell this time, it was different. You weren’t going to get under the sheets with him and he wasn’t going to wake up next to you in the morning.

“You’re leaving me.” He muttered, dropping his head. “I know.”

You watched as he collapsed down on the couch and ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the roots.

Suddenly he was seeing everything that you were, unwillingly, that is.

All the moments that made up such a long, chaotic and passionately painful relationship the two of you built together before he started to tear it apart piece by piece.

All the times he held you in his arms and listened to you tell him all about school and your friends there that are big fans of his. All the times he watched you break down in front of him, much like tonight, and he just stood there emotionlessly and waited for it to all be over because he knew you’d just come to bed with him after the fact and he knew how to make you feel better when you got underneath the bedsheets. All the lies he’s told that you still didn’t fully know and how you didn’t need to, because all it would do is keep you from restoring yourself.

He felt the ache of his heart and the impending emptiness that was soon to replace it when you walk out that door. He knew this was only the beginning of an end he caused himself, and he only just started to realize that when it was way too late.

You had to look away before the tears started streaming down your face again. You looked around the hotel room and took in the scent of his cologne lingering in the air that was unfortunately embedded in your senses now. It would probably haunt you forever.

Your eyes fell on the promise ring wrapped around your finger, one you’d worn since he gave it to you right before he left for AEW, and worn through every trial and tribulation that he drug you through.

The hardest part about looking at that ring was knowing the promises behind it were empty, broken and never true. You twirled it around your finger before you slid it off and it had been on for so long there was a permanent indentation where it should always be. Another thing that’s going to haunt you.

You turned around and saw him watching you, his eyes falling to that ring laying in your palm. His shoulders slouched as if he realized in that moment that this was real, you were already gone and he just gave up on trying to keep you there.

You extended your hand, gesturing for him to take back the ring but he shook his head lightly, looking up at you with tired, low eyes filled with pure pain.

“Don’t give it back. Please. Just keep it as a reminder that what we had was real.”

But you shook your head as you set the ring down on the armrest of the couch and mustered enough strength to say, “I don’t need any more reminders.”

His mouth clamped shut and he simply watched as you took a step back, slipping on your shoes that were sitting next to the couch before you crossed your arms over your chest, attempting to internally comfort yourself but you knew it wasn’t of any use.

The ending was just on the tip of your tongue and as much as he wanted to stop you from saying it, he knew he had no right to do it. He knew he was the reason why you were no longer the girl you should’ve always been and he knew that he was nothing but poison in your veins.

You took one last look at him, taking in the image of this man you were going to spend the rest of your life thinking about no matter what. He was going to be the story you told your future daughter when she has her first heartbreak. He was going to be the one that you would always wonder about no matter where your life takes you.

He dropped his head in his hands the second you spoke.

“I wish it never would’ve ended this way.” You whisper, knowing if you tried to speak any louder your voice would betray you. “I wish it never would’ve ended at all.”

He inhaled deeply and held that breath in an attempt to hold everything in.

“But I think we both knew it was coming. Goodbye Tyler.” You bid him the final goodbye and couldn’t bear to spare one more look at him before you walked out the door.

He sat there with his face buried in his hands, feeling the atmosphere of the room shift the second that door closed behind you. Emptiness quickly set in, the one thing he’s never done well with. The loneliness he always tried to avoid. The racing thoughts crashing through his mind that consisted of nothing except for you.

He reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone, seeing a text floating on the screen from a random girl he met a couple nights prior, and he chucked it against the wall, watching as it fell to the floor with a now shattered screen.

He glanced to the right where that ring sat. The engraving on the inside of the band staring back at him. The word forever etched into the solid gold now serving as a cold reminder that forever was shattered, much like all of his promises he ever made you.

[an-idiot-in-fandoms]

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE WAY WE TALK ABOUT THE MEMBERS OF MCR???

A-FUCKING-TTENTION. I WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS SOMETHING.

as my followers may know i am a giant mcr stan. i love their music. i think most of the band are good people. however, something came to my attention.

i haven't made it a secret that i am NOT a fan of Lindsey Way, Gerard's wife, who is a racist, pedophile apologist. learning about her being a giant piece of shit made me very sad to acknowledge that if Gerard is willing to not only marry her, but use the reunion tour as also an opportunity to uncancel his dear precious wife or some bullshit, then he's not obviously the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to race and racism in general. the fact that they even endorsed and was a fan of MSI, a "shock humour" band, which used slurs to get attention (which is fucking pathetic by the way), says a lot already. perhaps it speaks to the rock scene's general tolerance for racism at the time in the 2000s, but it wasn't the 1800s. Jimmy Urine was still a white man using the n-word at full volume, and profiting off of it during his concerts and releasing his music.

and maybe shut the fuck up if you're going to call me a "snowflake" about it, because chances are you're white, and you have no fucking clue how dangerous this rhetoric can be towards POC, who have to put up with the normalisation of slur use that the band encourages. i am a POC, and i find the fact that he used that language for money and fame absolutely disgusting. the whole band is disgusting. they can rot in hell.

anyway.

i came across a blog, not going to say which one, but one where it called out Lindsey Way. i was like "ok cool someone else who can use critical thinking in this fandom and doesn't just blindly support Gerard even though he's still definitely not the goddamn messiah". so i go on a scroll through their blog. they were a big fan of Frank, and i respect that, Frank deserves all of his flowers and more.

and then it got weird.

i came across posts where they speculated on the dynamic of the band. and a lot of things were spoken about, where they talked about Gerard being manipulative towards Frank, and how Frank didn't like going on the American leg of the tour during the reunion, and how, basically, they weren't friends, and how Gerard wasn't a good person.

the point is - there was A LOT of speculation. it made me upset to be reading it because i felt as though i'd been punched in the face, reading all this stuff about a guy i look up to partially. i sort of fell into a rabbit hole scrolling through their tumblr, getting more depressed, feeding into the logic that i could never truly feel happy about liking mcr again, reading about all of these theories, and---

hold the phone.

did you read that?

THEORIES.

it occurred to me that these were THEORIES. and the way they were demonising certain people, such as putting down Ray in certain posts to make way for Frank, made me realise that there's a problem with this fandom and how people like to assume what happens with the band members' personal life, and how they interact with each other. people like to speculate in this fandom. like, a lot.

i'll assume it's partially due to how most of the band don't shed a lot of light on their personal lives, only really Frank and Mikey are active on social media, usually showing appreciation for their families/or Frank's countless side-projects (which are all great btw, go listen to Parachutes again). so a lot of the fandom turn to speculation, to come up with these theories that "oh there's in-fighting", or "Gerard is secretly an evil genius who manipulates the whole band".

these are real people. Gerard isn't a saint, despite what some people may believe (cough, girlgerard, cough), but what we don't have to do is start making up bullshit about them being a certain way with no evidence. it's all speculation. and it's demeaning, not only to Frank and Gerard, who've probably had enough with the rumours about them over the years, but for Mikey and Ray as well.

these people aren't your friends. they're not some mystical beings shrouded in darkness that you have to find everything out about either. they are people in a band.

going too deep into speculation robs them of their autonomy. it makes everyone in the fandom look like creeps as well. it's horrible to see, and it takes away the real importance of critical thinking.

you can think critically about Gerard for marrying and excusing a racist woman, because there is EVIDENCE of her being racist. there is EVIDENCE of her being a pedophile apologist. that brings up questions about his own views on race, and how much he's willing to excuse, if he could love someone who willingly takes part in racism.

you can't do the same for Frank and Gerard's relationship. we know JACKSHIT about that. they have never said anything negative pertaining to each other in interviews, whatever "beef" people have made up between them is entirely manufactured by the fandom's overactive imagination. it's like a dead-dove fanfic on AO3 for fuck's sake, where Gerard is tagged as an asshole.

i'm aware it is only a small proportion of people who do this. but the extent to which they do it is honestly shocking. so i got pissed off.

we don't need to know everything about what happens with the band members. Frank has LS Dunes. Mikey has his family. who the fuck knows what Ray and Gerard are doing.

(now, no one's complaining about the lack of Ray on social media, but when people see a picture of Gerard's hand they flip out and beg for a face reveal - but no one's ready for that convo...)

point is: let them be. work with what you get. there's no need to make up things to make it all interesting, to create conflict - you've got that with the heavily problematic connection to MSI. evidence is key. you do not need to analyse these people like they're fictional characters.

because they are PEOPLE. and people are neither completely good or bad, they are usually in the grey area.

[shysublimecoffee]

Itachi would've been fine to me tbh if like the story just let him be humbled lol. The main issue is that nobody called out Itachi for his actions, except for Itachi himself, which ironically serves to make him seem even more virtuous and flawless. "I understand feeling upset when some people in the fandom community don't use critical thinking. However, imagine investing a lot of time following a story you read since you were a kid. Many people simply follow the story as presented, and can you blame them when the story validates Itachi? I can't really blame them that much when even the writer seems to be bending over backwards to portray the character as a well-meaning hero, like in the case of Itachi." Now, I don't really know how well something like reading a piece of Naruto media can translate to real life but the saying the things we read and watch can influence on how we perceive the world rings true in my opinion because unfortunately some people really do believe in the Uchiha curse b.s and to me reflects a lot when it comes to how marginalized groups are stigmatized like the idea of a group having the curse of hatred inside of them is fucked if you are so set to believe in something based on a fictional group in a piece of media well... it raises questions about how that might influence real-life beliefs and attitudes towards marginalized groups

I think it's important to be at an age where you have developed critical thinking skills to engage with complex narratives like this. Many people are influenced by nostalgia and are such huge fans of certain characters that they are inclined to make elaborate analyses justifying their actions. For example, some might argue that because Itachi was just a kid when he committed certain acts, it excuses his behavior. However, if we start using age or other factors as excuses for heinous actions, where do we draw the line? What other circumstances would you be willing to bend over backwards to justify committing heinous crimes similar to what Itachi did?

Naruto is a bitch. I don't really want to extend to much with this character since I just feel disappointment. I wanted him to do more then he failed. He's become a politician I don't know what else to say lol. So many people say he inspired them how? What did he accomplish besides obtaining Hokage their world is still fucked up man the shinobi system still rotten. I thought this kid would grow up to do something about it but he remained complacent and changed nothing only difference is he's on top. I realized about later that was Sasuke role as an antagonist and it wouldn't make much sense lol there need to being 2 opposing sides but yeah... He was a whole lotta nothing as a protagonist he was cute kid but he grew up to be a dumb fuck who can't figure out why his "dearest friend" is siding against him and became man who can't keep promises.

It makes sense he had a hunger for acknowledgement I'm not discrediting that since he was a child but he wanted validation from everyone that he has such an obsession with his own self-image and how everyone thinks of him that I find it portrayal to be unhealthy. Sasuke at the end was just a checklist a reward at the end of the day that he wanted to gain for his personal goal.

Naruto talk no jutsu is so manipulative to me sometimes that instead of directly confronting Sasuke's ideas or opinions as equals would in a debate or discussion he would indirectly undermined them. He did this by ignoring Sasuke's valid arguments and instead focusing on exploiting Sasuke's emotional vulnerability, particularly his feelings of loneliness and despair stemming from the loss of family. Like his approach to me suggests a tactic to manipulate Sasuke's emotions rather than engaging with his ideas or concerns directly. But, I ain't sure if he's doing this deliberately since I don't know if he's that smart or I'm looking to much closely.

I'd rather ship his character with fucking OC's. I feel like each member of Team 7 are obsessed and want something from the guy but they don't care for Sasuke personally because if they did it would show but they're after him for what they want from him as a goalpost and hey they won.

[rillils]

what hurts me most is thinking abt people realizing just how YOUNG bucky actually is

it's so fucking unfair, it just breaks your heart to even think about it, doesn't it?

consider catfa. here you have a young man barely into his late 20s, when you're technically a fully grown adult, but really you're most likely still trying to get your shit together, you know, still figuring out how Adulting™ really works - and then it's one tragedy after the other for him

Bucky has his whole life ahead of him, and instead of getting to choose a path of his own, of building a life for himself, he is:

drafted into a war he never even wanted to be a part of

captured, forced into hard physical labor and ultimately experimented on against his will

kinda roped into going back to the front lines after being rescued (not against his will this time, but let's face it, there was no way in hell that he would have gone home while Steve was still out there putting his life on the line)

captured once more when his whole team thought him dead, tortured in every possible way, taken apart, experimented on some more, quite possibly put on god knows what kind of substances, either to further improve his physical performances or to aid in keeping him docile and easier to manipulate - or, well, for both of those reasons I guess

brutally stripped of his identity, his memories, his free will, his humanity, and reshaped into a killing machine, a weapon to be used whenever necessary, and, as they say, put away wet. and then rinse and repeat for sixty-nine years.

the truly horrifying part is that they didn't just hurt him, they also forced him to hurt other people. people whose lives were taken by his own hands, when he was barely even an unwilling passenger in his own body. so here he is, just… grieving,

both for himself - the years he lost to torture and brainwashing, and can never get back again; and the life he could have had, with all the people he loved, in the place he used to call home - and for all the victims of the Soldier and their respective families, left to mourn their loved ones, often without even knowing why.

he could have lived a normal, quiet, happy life, but all of that was taken away from him.

BUT but but butt butt

here's the thing.

actually, here's a couple of things.

you see, pieces of crap like Endgame will try to convince you that, if things didn't go exactly your way the first time around, you should just give up on your future altogether and fuck off to the past, where you can live out an unhealthy fantasy and have a creepy, dystopian-coded life as-- well, not even as yourself, just as somebody else wearing your own face.

don't listen to pieces of crap like Endgame, they give the shittiest kind of advice.

because! because even after everything he went through, Bucky's still alive! his life isn't over. and that's the beauty of it! he SO can still be happy, and do all the things he didn't get to do back in the day. sure, the timing might not be what he originally thought, back before the war, but just because his plans got derailed doesn't mean that he can't build his own life now. and that's exactly what he's going to do, one step at a time - and YES, with Steve by his side, if I get any say in this (and this being my answer to an ask on my blog, I get all the say lol)

so I hereby declare that Bucky gets to be as fucking happy as can be! like, SO MUCH FUCKING HAPPINESS, YOU CAN'T EVEN QUANTIFY IT. so much fucking happiness, you'd think he might get sick of it!!!! but he won't!!!!!!

I think he does find that calm he so desperately needed. I think he gets to find himself again, gets to meet all the parts of him he thought he'd lost, the ones even he had forgotten. I think, he even gets to meet some new sides of Bucky Barnes he hadn't had the chance to discover yet.

I think he learns that some days are worse than others, and on those days, he learns to show himself a little kindness, and a little forgiveness for not being who (he used to think) he was supposed to be, and a little love for who he is.

I think he also learns that, while there are some bad days, and there will always be, most of them are actually, surprisingly, good days. I think he learns that he has the right to have good days. I think he learns that he deserves to have good days. I think he learns that it's okay to feel good; that there's nothing silly or lazy in just sitting outside in the sun, and basking in its warmth like a happy little lizard, and wishing you never had to move from that spot at all.

I think he gets to be the nerd he always was deep down; science nerd, space nerd, book nerd, any sort of nerd flavor he can find the time and will to explore.

I think he gets to build a home for himself, with the man who always meant Home to him, more than any house ever could.

I think he gets to wake up to good-morning kisses, and to good-morning fingers carding tenderly through his hair, and good-morning playful groping under the sheets, and good-morning "sorry I just kneed you in the groin, lemme kiss it better for ya", and good-morning giggles because Steve's bedhead achieves epic levels of Bird's Nest first thing in the morning, and good-morning pretty eyes looking back at him from Steve's pillow, drinking him in like no sight in the world will ever be as heartrendingly beautiful as Bucky waking up next to him in their big, big bed, and good-morning "how do you want your eggs?", and good-morning "let's skip eggs and have french toast today", because today, today he's feeling good.

and that's only the start, honey 💕💕💕

[kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay]

View 🏙️

Summary: This isn't how you thought you'd see the city from above for the first time.

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+, black mail, non-con (touching and sex), loss of virgintiy, coercion, manipulation, improper boss-employee relations, hidden cameras, power-imbalance, hinted anal sex

Word count: 1.5k

Author's note: And here we have entry number four for @the-slumberparty's BINGO challenge! I can't believe I'm writing so much lately and I am truly grateful to have signed up for this fun little venture because it has helped me write more than I probably have in the whole past year.

I ticked off a single square this time, which is "blackmail" and turned it into a deliciously spicy piece of writing. Enjoy!

...

He has you naked and pressed up against the clear glass pane of his office, the streets of the city sprawling in every direction far below you.

His suit brushes up against your bare back, legs encased by his to keep you immobile against the window. Your head is turned to the side, left cheek against the glass, your hitching breaths fogging it over.

“Don't be so difficult, darling,” he slithers in your ear, his warm breath sending a shiver through your already trembling body. “We both know there's no way out of this.”

You try to shake your head no, shame and helplessness scorching your insides. You know calling for help won't do you any good. No one is coming.

“All you have to do is spread your pretty legs and you can go unscathed and with a glowing review on your records once the internship is over,” he says lowly, letting go of one of your hands he'd pressed to the glass to reach around your body and grab at your chest. He lets out a hum and bend down further to nuzzle at your neck.

“No...” you whisp weakly, your now free hand reaching back to bat at his fruitlessly.

“Yes,” the black-haired devil calling himself your boss replies. “I will split your tight little virgin pussy open on my cock whether you want to or not. But it is your decision if the footage of your deflowering is gonna be spread around or kept safely in my pocket.”

You let out a sob and sink further against the cold window. You can't get out of this. You fought with everything you had, shouted for help, bartered for your life with anything you could think of. But he kept on.

Stalking you through his sealed off office like the predator he is, stripping you of your clothes piece by piece once he's caught you and telling you about all the horrible things he wants to force you to do.

“You were asking for it, lovely. So eager to please, jumping at every opportunity to be of use, looking at me with those innocent eyes... Very tempting indeed,” he husks, giving your neck a playful bite.

“And what can I say, when I see something I like, I take it.”

You shake your head again and push back against his hold, but he is stronger than you and just like before, all your effort is for nothing.

“Better accept it, darling girl. I can ruin your reputation with the flick of a finger. I'm pretty sure you don't want all your future job prospects to go down the drain just because you're a little scared to get fucked like you deserve, hm?”

You can't speak. You've gone mute in your shock, mind and body out of sync as the situation unfolds, and not in your favour.

“Come now, let's get you away from the window,” he coos in a mockingly caring tone when he notices your defeat. You silent acquiescence.

Mr Laufeyson steps back, pulling you with him as he walks away from the window and drags you over to his desk. Giving you an unkind shove, he sprawls you over the hard wood, your back painfully colliding with the cold surface while he grabs your dangling legs and presses them apart.

You let out an embarrassed cry and try to close your legs, but he's stronger than you. When you reach down to hide yourself, he gives your hand a mean smack and pinches your thigh until you retract your hand and sag back against the desk with a quiet sob.

“What a pretty little flower we have here,” the raven-haired man praises and you jerk when he reaches out to spread your lips with his index and ring finger. His middle finger flicks down and coyly circles your clit until you whimper helplessly.

“Ripe and ready for the taking,” he muses, sounding all too pleased with himself when he inserts a finger into your barely wet pussy and pushes it as far as it can go.

You twitch and writhe, your body wanting nothing more than to escape this man's unbidden touch. But you can't. He'll ruin you, showing his mistake for everyone to see and still it will be you who reaps the consequences of his actions.

Your hands reach up to grasp the edge of the polished desk with a death grip and keep them away from your splayed body parts.

Your boss keeps toying with you, finding better ways to stimulate your clit and adding a second finger to your quickly moistening cunt.

When you let out a whimpered moan he gives a triumphant chuckle and lets go of your thigh to instead reach up and massage your breasts, squeezing and kneading, pinching your nipples until you cry out and twist your body away from his cruel touch.

Horror bubbles in your gut when you feel a familiar heat rising in your loins and more tears spill out of your bloodshot, swollen eyes.

Your muscles bear down on the man's questing fingers, but just before you can tip over that dreaded edge, he pulls his hand away and gives your cunt a harsh spank that almost has you jumping out of your own skin.

“Little harlot, almost coming on my fingers. If you are to come, you will do so writhing on my cock,” he states and pushes his slicked fingers into his mouth while undoing his belt.

Once they are clean of your essence, he pulls them out and shoves down his pants and underwear until they fall down to his feet and he steps out of them.

You're too dazed and terrified to do more than watch as he unbuttons his blazer and tosses it aside as well before pushing up the sleeves of his dress shirt and reaching your your frozen form.

His movement startles you out of your state and your eyes automatically dart down to the erect cock standing proud between the cruel bastard's legs.

You gulp. That would never fit in you-

Mr Laufeyson pulls you off the desk and leaves you on shaky legs as he slides between the desk and yourself. You can hear the wood creek when he leans just against the edge and you make to turn around to see what he's doing but his hands clamp down on your waist to keep you facing forward and away from him.

You puff out scared breaths when he slides his hands down to your thighs and bends to get a good grip on them before hauling you off your feet and back against his chest, thighs spread wide apart like butterfly wings, baring every hidden crevice usually kept safe between them.

“Wait- wait, please,” you croak out suddenly, your hands scrambling for anything to hold onto but coming up empty in the position he's got you in.

“Shhh, lovely girl, let it happen. I promise you're going to feel pleasure beyond your understanding,” he shushes you.

His body shifts and the raven-haired man briefly lets go of one leg, letting it dangle uselessly while he reaches between you and draws his cock up against your defenceless pussy.

He guides it through your pussy lips, sawing up and down to coat himself in your slick before drawing back and nestling the head just in your opening. Once he's in place, he hoists your leg back up and pushes away from the desk to fully stand on his own two feet while you precariously dangle from him with just the tip of his cock touching your pussy.

“Ready?” he taunts in your ear and you make to shake your head, but the cruel man doesn't wait for your answer.

Instead, he loosens his hold on you, using your own body weight to impale your tight pussy on his cock, forcing your wet walls apart and breaking through the tissue lining your precious entrance.

You let out a howl and writhe in Mr Laufeyson's arms, pained moans and babbled pleading flowing from your deflating lungs.

He doesn't listen. Instead, he slams you down all the way, his tip painfully hitting the back of your tunnel before pulling out and immediately pushing back in without giving you a moment of reprieve to wrap your head around the fact that you've just painfully lost your virginity against your will.

“Oh Norns, your tight little pussy feels like heaven,” your boss groans, his breath puffing against the back of your neck as he keeps moving you up and down his cock, his hips mercilessly meeting your body's motions on every thrust.

“St-Stop- pleaaa- please..” you cry, your words chopped from the rough bouncing of your body. “H-hurts.”

“It'll get easier once you're broken in,” the man grunts, his voice strained by pleasure. “Maybe I should get my brother to help me open up this tight body. He's never been one to say no to a virgin ass.”

...

Ah, I live for cruel Loki. He's such a bastard and it's really fun to write when he's paired with a helpless little birdy. Such a manipulative fucker :D

[lavend-ler]

you're literally so real and based about the misogyny in the onceler fandom like none of the plot would've happened without audrey or norma (although i am a bit biased when it comes to norma cause she's my fave), and mrs wiggins helped A LOT and everyone just ignored them. also the vitriolic hatred towards the onceler's mom (yeah she sucked but still) is kinda weird where is that treatment towards the rest of his family

thank u dear anon 🙏

I posted my post out on a whim from my drafts but lemme elaborate - the lorax/onceler fandom is incredibly misogynistic. from the fact that ppl make fun of younger often girls having fun and being attracted to Once-ler. I was also a young girl when I first joined this fandom and I could completely feel the mockery over the years. all bc I dared to have fun abt one of my fave characters. and over the years I feel like the nature had become even more so hostile against fans, esp abt women who just join

my another glaring issue is with the fact that this fandom completely overlooks female characters. as u've said, the plot wouldn't have happened without Audrey and Norma. and when u join the fandom discussions u see ppl complaining abt how thinly they are written, the fandom does nothing to expand on them

I'll start with Norma bc she's my absolute fave too - u can barely find anything with her these days. yes I love Normaler but it doesn't have to be all there is to her. if u don't like Normaler, why can't u make Norma be Once-ler's friend? why aren't u exploring her life as a young woman, single mother and then a kind and upbeat old woman? why can't u pick up the pieces in canon abt her spunky but lighthearted nature, love for stories, enigmatic but understanding personality, nostalgia towards different times but still living in the moment, even affection towards things as gentle as nature and as extreme as sports? she fckin drives a crane all by herself! Norma is such a fantastic character to explore but this fandom just doesn't want to. and then when ppl DO explore her character it's dismissed as a self-insert fantasy for girls. even if so, so what? are we circling back to hating young girls for having interests?

Audrey is a similar case. she's either used as a mouthpiece, side piece for Ted or fucking shipped with an adult. why don't u explore her life beside this? why won't u talk abt her being an artist, softspoken dreamer and an introverted character who has to make choices? I love when ppl make her more active but she can also be passive, not everyone has to be an adventurer. and if u make her active, she could make a fantastic protag. all I'm saying is, do better

I'd argue the story of The Lorax also couldn't have happened if it wasn't for Mrs. Wiggins. she's such a fun character too, lovable and sweet and energetic, but also no nonsense and stands up for what she believes in? when I read this ask to my bestie they looked at me and said "Mrs. Wiggins has more personality than Ted" and I AGREE. she deserves more spotlight as a single woman who tries her hardest and balances her life all around. she's so so good

as for Once-ler's mother, she is a total bitch but like........so is his whole family. yes, she's the abuser but everyone else enables her abuse so they're also guilty. like fuck them. I do totally get hatred for Once-ler's mother but she's also a pretty good antagonist. her manipulative behavior and mood swings are very well written in a realistic way. why can't we even say that a woman is a good antagonist? besides, she can also have her past (which does not excuse the abuse ofc, just makes her a deeper character). I see a lot of potential and it's just wasted a millionth time

can I also say that female OCs in this fandom are super scarce? I remember there were a lot of times when fem!Once-ler blogs got deactivated bc they were relentlessly bullied. all for the sake of shipping two mildly different flavors of the same guy. and u don't have to make them side pieces to ur Once-lers. women deserve their own stories to tell. when I was developing my Lorax OC Felicia, her relationship with Once-ler was the last thing I thought of

anyways, it's a total tangent at this point but I wanted this to be an ode to female characters of the lorax/onceler fandom. they deserve their stories and they deserve to be treated with respect. do better

[daffodilsonaprettystring]

I just saw someone on SOC twitter say that Matthias is worse than the Darkling

That same person also said Wylan was illiterate and gay and that’s all he has going for him and that he and Jesper were the token side gays

………….TELL ME YOU DONT UNDERSTAND COMPLEX CHARACTERS WITHOUT TELLING ME YOU DONT UNDERSTAND COMPLEX CHARACTERS

LIKE GENUINELY

Wtf,?????

Matthias was raised and manipulated in under severe religious views and when he realized that they were wrong he did EVERYTHING in his power to change it.

THE DARKLING COMMITED MASS GENOCIDE AND SOLD INNOCENT GIRLS TO ABUSERS AND MANIPULATED A YOUNG GIRL THEN PROCEEDED TO TREAT HER LIKE HIS PROPERTY AND DIDNT GIVE A FUCK WHO HE HURT IN THE PROCESS INCLUDING THE GIRL DARKLINAS CLAIM HE LOVES???

Listen even going I to the show KNOWING Darkles was bad, I still fell for Darklina. Ben Barnes is extremely charismatic and yeah Darkles was a good actor and it was hard not to fall for his charm. But that’s exactly what it was: charm, and acting. We got to see so much more of his manipulation and true dark side this season, yet people still try to say he’s misunderstood and just fighting for the Grisha. No?? He’s tryna take over the damn country and keep Alina under his thumb in the process??

Do not ever compare Matthias, who died doing what was right, to Darkles who died because his ass got hit with some well earned karma. They are nothing alike.

(This is not to say Darkles isn’t also a complex character; I really enjoyed the show giving him that backstory with the Heartrender girl he loved dying and the scene where Baghra died in his arms had me feeling very bad for him, even knowing what he’s done. But that’s the thing; you can see Darkles as a complex character and still acknowledge that he is an AWFUL human being. There is no redemption for him, and he deserved the ending he got. Darkling stans take the “complex character” term and run far past the finish line with it to the point where they idolize this guy to insane levels. Just—try to remember what you’re saying when you say Darklina should have been endgame. You’re saying Alina’s and Zoya’s manipulator and the reason Genya was abused for YEARS should end up with the girl he claimed to love even though he literally used her as a tool for his own gain and didn’t give a fuck about her own wishes? Please guys.no. )

AND WYLAN?? How dare you reduce him to the stereotypical side gay. My man spent this entire season proving his worth, and he and Jesper, while admittedly moved fast, were the most stable ship in the show for a goddamn reason. Wylan has been through hell, fuck all of the crows have, and yet they all still manage to hold some good inside them.

(Yes, even Kaz. I don’t care what anyone says, that man still wants to be good for those he cares about (Yes Inej but also the other Crows) along with being a crime lord. I did a whole presentation on it for my seminar last semester. Fight me.)

The reason SOC fans love those books is because Leigh Bardugo blessed us with these incredibly dynamic characters who are flawed and human and make mistakes but at the end of the day are just kids trying to make it through life the best way they can, and doing it as a FAMILY. Shadow and Bone, while still very good books, is missing that vital piece somehwere in the Malina Darklina ship war.

This was such a long rant I’m sorry

TLDR: Darkles sucks Matthias deserves better and Wylan is still my favorite Grishaverse character ever don’t dump on him or I’m coming for your eyeballs Kazzle Dazzle style

[shouxryuuxha]

The saga

Ok, since the time frame is up I can now say what has been going on since Nov. 18th.

Trigger warnings for mentions of s***de, mention of manipulative behavior, parental death, mention of eating disorder, brief mention of different types of abuse, drug use, harassment, and stalking.

On the 18th of my now ex-roommate decided that through snapchat it would be ok to call me a bunch of things, along with calling my boyfriend slanderous names; questioning his manhood and calling him names like "rabbit" (odd but ok), "pussy" and things like that. He threatened non-payment of rent and continued his gaslighting of me through snapchat since he, as a person, only felt comfortable saying all this ugly and slanderous things over the internet and not to my face; he crumbles like a piece of paper when you confront him in person. He kept it going well into the weekend, saying things like "this is all your doing" "all you wanna do is play house with your rabbit boyfriend" and tried to manipulate by then saying "If you would just apologize, it would be water under the bridge" and other pretty fucked up shit to the point where he wouldn't stop and I had to delete my snapchat, not before I took pictures of over 20 messages from him alone.

That following Monday, Nov. 20th, during therapy, I started getting text messages from someone I didn't know wanting to me to confirm my boyfriend's father's names. I asked who was this, they responded with the same question so I used an alias, and they responded with their name (or probably a fake) saying how after 8 years of having his friend's back, I betrayed them; that's friend's don't keep secrets from friends. Only to then have the gall for me to again, confirm his dad's name. At that point, I blocked the number and after a mild panic attack thinking that this man fully gave out my phone number and possible other details, me and my boyfriend went down to the court house to file a order of protection.

20 minutes before talking to the judge about this, my now ex-roommate proceeds to blow up my email inbox, his first wall of text email starting with the title "I'll drop your name in my s***de note" and with the big wall of text, that when printed was 2 pages long of just vile gaslighting and manipulation. I was granted the order and all I had to do was get it served. Problem is, I didn't know where he was; he was with a friend somewhere and with the safety, he continued to harass me via email for 18 straight days. My complex were given the order and even sent him a email notice that the locks were changed. He didn't care to read it and continued to beratement of me, my character, my past and everything. He said things like "You probably cheated on your exes and you're probably cheating on your [insert bf name] too." Mind you, my first relationship was for 8 years. I moved across the country for this man, just to him to never claim me as his girlfriend due to my weight, race, height---you name it, he claimed it. Manipulated and gaslit me to the point where I developed a eating disorder just to be the weight he wanted among other things to keep me under his control like breaking up with me to get me to beg and spiral, emotional abuse, mental abuse, psychological abuse, and sexual abuse. My second ex, was not only cheating and taking advantage, but he had a whole fiancée on the side that I did not know about which made me a mistress without my consent, on top of his man trying to impregnat me with his child. Luckily, there is no child because I am not dumb.

My ex-roommate threw those in my face, my lack of self esteem in my face, my weight in my face and saying things like "I should have left you stroked out on the floor; fuck me for saving you", referring to the stroke I had last year. All while using the fact that he "saved [your] life" as way to make me owe him for the rest of his life. And then on Thanksgiving, to fully dig in the knife in, he stated in another brick wall of text "Your mother would be ashamed of you" and "How selfish of you to not go and see her as she was dying." My mother passed away on April 6th, 2002. Time of death was call at 9:12 pm. Her viewing was on a Thursday, the burial was on a Friday, my 11th birthday was that Sunday. My mother passed away from Lupus 8 days from my 11th birthday. How dare a 10 year old not know when their singular parent was going to die and not suck it up to go and see her with you know, a feeding tube, a breathing tube, and a dialysis machine all attached at once. But you know, he didn't care, it was just ammunition.

For 18 days. I didn't eat. I was up at 4 AM regardless of work, I was puking bile every morning and due to stress I lost over 15 pounds. I had constant headaches, nothing brought me joy and I was in a constant state of panic. He kept on harassing me through email, sometimes sending 10 emails a day. It got so bad that I had to have my friend filter my emails and put them all away so I could go into my own email. He said I was keeping him from his medication, that me and my lies to the judge and cops are making him homeless and how he will sue me for human rights violations. Waking up to a wall of text, the longest one being 4 pages long was a nightmare. Being called a liar, a fucking bitch, a cunt, a backstabber, and other things left me questioning my own sanity. This is not the first time I've people gaslight me for days, months and some people years just to control me.

I was under a huge mountain of stress. Now add to that stress, having to go into work every day because now you are the sole breadwinner. 18 long days. Finally all came to a head on Dec. 6th. At this point, the complex knew about him, I had retained an attorney, 2 neighbors, my boyfriend, my work place and the complex all had a copy of the order and were instructed to call 911 if he steps foot on property. He had already been trespassed due to the order. It just came down to getting him served. So, around noon, my neighbor texted me saying that he was here at the complex; according to my friend he stated in a email that he was coming back that day and just going straight the gym; he was going to force me to come home to him being there and just force me to go back to normal since his friends told him to "stand his ground" and that "we're going to be a team". He basically wanted to make me help him get his life together after 18 days to beratement and mental and psychological abuse. He wanted me to go back to normal, not talk about it or bring it up in order to sweep it under the rug. He didn't want to be reminded of it so badly, that he began telling me that he did not want my boyfriend sleeping over for the foreseeable future and preferred me to stay at his place and not to have him order until he was ready to have him back.

Yes. The sad thing is, that I condensed alot of things.

But, on the 6th of December, left me with a final message before the officers got there and served him with a full no contact order, INCLUDING EMAIL. This was his final email to me before the cops showed up who fully believed he was in the right for his degusting behavior and fully believes that I lied about him being abusive since he never hit me:

Emotion abuse. Mental abuse. Sexual abuse, Psychological abuse. These are all just as bad as physical abuse and usually, these are precursors to physical abuse.

Now, you're probably wondering, why would anyone do this? Clearly I did something to get him going. What if I told you, that what set this off was half of a conversation that was intended to help him. That his own illegal steroid used paranoia put him in a spiral and caused to do this. Every friend he had all went through this even before the drugs. Whenever he didn't get his way, he would resort to this type of behavior. He blew up a ex-friend's relationship because said ex-friend didn't take him to the gym so he felt entitled to blow up that relationship and reveal things that was not his business to reveal. He cut his foster mom out of his life because of a remark. He threated to dox a girl who was a camming on the side to make extra money to start her candle business and expose her because he wanted a relationship and she didn't. 2 separate girls, one in a different state, called a 5150 because of the stuff he was saying to them and blaming them for his behavior.

So, I am talking about this now because, yesterday was his last day to formally file a contest against the order. He did not. I finally feel I can breathe again. I don't feel like there is a rope around my neck and the feeling of my house feels different.

So, I wanted to come on here and explain myself. I wanted to come on here and apologize for being gone. I feel like those who have known me and know me through writing Shiryu for so long, I feel that I needed to tell you all. I wanted to share this with you and tell those who might be going through something similar, if every fiber of your being is telling you its wrong, its wrong. You are not alone. I hear you and I see you. Physical abuse is not the only form of abuse. Don't let anyone tell you different.

My name is Brooklyn. I am an abuse victim.

[ugh154628]

Part 2 of "Cece's" post responding to my first post:

Context and things to be noted:

#1: Before "Cece" started outwardly accusing Sam ("Ricky") of assault, she first accused him of "making" her feel bad for not having sex / guilting her into sex.

What was weird to me about this is that she used to tell everyone, including me, that she had some weird issue where she wasn't sexually attracted to people she loved and only wanted to have sex with strangers. Whatever to each her own, but the second Sam starts dating me, she completely switches up to some sob story saying he was taking advantage of her sexually like that isn't weirdly coincidental at all.

#2: She admits they tried to be polyamorous, like I explained before. Which she said happened so HE could have sex with other people so he wouldn't make her feel bad...even though she was having sex with other people herself...and actually trying to or ultimately dating some of those people. All the while, he still slept in her bed. Even though they were broken up? And then she got mad that he didn't want to sleep in her bed as "friends" anymore. When she started actually dating one of his old friends. And got mad he started dating other people, particularly me, during all of that. I explained all of this more in previous posts.

She goes on to say, "it was more or less my way of backing out of the relationship." Saying SHE was essentially trying to get away from him without communicating it directly, and yet, getting mad when he didn't want to be "friends" anymore. AKA a friend, that is your ex, that you still expect to sleep with very night, while dating someone else..and then getting even more mad about them moving on and spreading rumors about their new girlfriend about it? But nah, SHE was trying to get away from the relationship and didn't like him anymore, right? Okay.

Then I would like her to explain why she now says "Amber dangled him in my face and took him from me!!" when she was going off about trying to get away from at first, how she didn't want him anymore, how much he abused her, how she hated him and never wanted him back....until I broke up with him and she could get him back LOL. Then, she just magically erases the picture that she was desperately trying to paint of him for years -that he was a psychotic abuser/r*pist... and finally admits she was actually jealous the whole time. It makes no fucking sense. I seriously don't understand how some people can't connect the very clear line of dots at this point.

#3: She says that Sam was using self harm to guilt her. That's pretty shitty. I don't doubt that now because man, does that sound familiar. Kind of like how he was whining about trying to drive into a river one night over me posting a fucking bikini selfie. And now, she goes around saying shit like "Amber made him want to kill myself" on top of that.

Actually, what he does to himself is on him. Not anyone else. To say that others are to blame for someone is fucking ridiculous, and the act of doing that is manipulative. ESPECIALLY when a person uses self harm and suicide threats to guilt their partner into staying with them or controlling them in some way. And she even said here that he did that to her.

#4: I said this before, but he told me they stopped the polyamous stuff end of 2018 after their big break up. She started regularly seeing someone else. The dude that was "friends" with my brother. Sam ("Ricky") did say that she gave him head for drugs though. That was the "romantic contact" she was talking about. And it was happening while they were broken up and she was talking to others after that one guy.

#5: "Now that he's got some dumb little bimbo talking trash about our personal shit, I'll say it." Translation: "Now that he's moved on and I'm mad at him for moving on because that means I can't keep him as a side piece anymore, and he cut me out of his life, I'll be...hOneSt."

Oh, and friendly reminder, she had already been making nasty posts about him before we started dating. This post wasn't the first time. The very first part of the posts connected to this one outline that.

And "He bought me things so I would keep fucking with him, fyi". So essentially, she would keep leading him on to believe they would get back together - just to get drugs, money, and gifts from him. While also talking to other people and not telling those other people about it. Nice.

#6: "He got drunk and accused me of leaving to suck dick when I ran out to get something. We were getting too close and should stop romantic contact." Meanwhile, broken up, calling him a "friend", still sleeping in the same bed, still fucking around apparently. Man, I wonder why someone who dated you that YOU actually refused to give space so they could move on, that you expected them to continue doing relationship things as "friends" with you, and get mad if they want to stop hanging out....would get upset. And then, you "cut off romantic contact" but STILL expect them to come over and sleep in your bed like thats normal and fair to a person who needs space to move on. Everyone needs fucking space to actually move on and lose feelings, but you bitched at him when he brought that up. Maybe he cut you off to move on, like you apparently wanted him to anyways? Even though you say NOW that you alwayssss wanted him. Like jesus christ, dude. You are fucked in the head.

And, it is shitty he would be making off the wall comments like that, but that was probably coming from a place of hurt and confusion. At least in this case. He used to make underhanded comments at me like that, but in my case I wasn't fucking around, I actually dumped him, and didn't expect him to keep living with me and sleep in my bed while I dated other people after that LMAO. Him doing that shit to me was always uncalled for, but when he said that to you I sympathize, even though he's ultimately a douchebag anyways.

#7: And oh yeah I bet he did talk shit about me before we dated. Seems like there's a pattern of him talking shit at or about the girls he likes and that don't like him back. She said it herself, and I already believed it anyways. With his character in mind and the pretty clear pattern -not even just with me or "Cece" but several other girls in my friend group- it makes sense. And I mean, just his whole passive aggressive and fake behavior when he doesn't gain what he wants from people in general. I could make a whole post just about that and even "Cece" mentions a few examples throughout this one.

#8: "He's a lying, manipulative, piece of shit asshole that won't be friends with you when you break up. As soon as he has to stop putting his hands on you, it'll be over."

Sheeeeeesh. "Cece" said that about him.

And damn, ain't that the truth though. A lying, manipulative, piece of shit asshole. Some other words to add for extra flae would be psychotic, narcissitic, sociopathic, and soulless.

And I'm 100 percent good on being friends with him anyways by the way. Unlike some people, I was willing to have MONTHS of space from him before hanging out with our mutual at the same time and I said that, even before all of this. I said I would stop going to Blayze's house for a few months since he was moving there to give him space like a normal, thoughtful person. I never expected us to stay close in the first place either. And I definitely won't be associating with him at all after all of this because I'm not a fucking idiot. He can rot.

Like seriously, if you guys ever do break up and if he comes crying to my inbox with bunk ass apologies all I'd have to say is "stop fucking contacting me". He should already know not to. I've already said it enough and no change in this situation will change my mind about me wanting him to stay the fuck away from me both virtually and physically.

#9: So, "Cece" says I "threatened" her after she made her second post about me and she hangs on it constantly to this day because its like the second worse thing I ever posted. Which isn't even that bad mind you.

She edited this post to include the bit about me "threatening" her because the screenshot of my post I'm putting below was my response to her posting this. But no, I didn't threaten her. Here is the post:

I was being petty because I was pretty fucking mad at the second post she made as well as the first. As well as another few that happened in the day day or matter of days, but I will talk about that in my next blog post. I was even more mad about her intent behind all of what she had done so far, too. It was ridiculous how this all came down to her ex moving on with me and then, her stepping on our new relationship and falsiying our character, mine in particular, publically.

The way she talked about me and her overall behavior so far was the nastiest I had ever dealt with in any person before. And this was even before things really blew up and got out of control on her end. She still takes the cake on being the most evil and insane person I've ever dealt with to this day.

I partially posted it because there were people encouraging me to fight her and that was my way of explaining why I wouldn't/don't want to, I thanked people for support, and I also talked about getting surveillance since Sam ("Ricky") told me she vandalized cars and he witnessed it when he dated her as well as when they were "friends". She apparently spray painted one some dude's girlfriend's car when he stopped talking to her, according to him, and that dude confirmed it happening in messages when Sam messaged him and told him about it. Guess I wasn't the only new girlfriend she was trying to get revenge on for dating one of her exes. Shocker.

I even showed this to law enforcement myself, and they said it was in poor taste but not a threat. I clearly said that I wouldn't touch her because she's not worth it, I still feel that way, and she exaggerated the ever living fuck out of what I said. Frankly, no stupid words from any asshole is worth a fight and life ruining charge, and I will stand on that. And this in 2019 almost 6 years ago mind you. This status was stupid and cringy and I have yet to talk like that since. I've never even been in a fight before either, and I don't plan on being in one unless I'm absolutely forced to defend myself. I would only fight if I never had a choice, and I hope that never happens. Physically harming another person is NOT something I would want or enjoy whatsoever.

And what's really funny about this is that "Cece's" mom directly contacted me and actually threatened me:

And then "Cece" says "don't cry boo hoo I have cameras on my house when people send it right back" admitting that her mom threatened me for her and mocking me for wanting home surveillance about it.

.

.

.

And in conclusion:

Lies

Lies

Lies

Projections

Projections

Projections.

That's the most of what this post she made is, and what everything negative they say about me has continued to fucking be. Lying, exaggerating, and projections. And if that's not clear yet, welp, I'm not done. I still have a long way to go to get to the best parts.

Like I said before, nothing else will make sense until I explain how this actually started first.

Next relevant post here:

[dabiisgender]

Fucking finally doing a deep dive into poly and what boundaries and stuff I want for myself is interesting. I’m not gonna lie and say none of my anxiety comes from a fear of losing my partner, but only like 1% of it is losing my partner to someone else.

The rest is different percentages of insecurity of me not being able to find others and what will happen if I can’t find anyone? Like that wouldn’t be good for anyone unless they were, for lack of better terms, just a side piece. There’s also just insecurity of my own emotions that don’t match my actual thoughts and feelings. There’s just so many thoughts and conflicting emotions that it’s really weird and hard to manage.

I’m also terrified of losing my partner in the aspect of what our current relationship is. Cause I want my happiness but I also want theirs, so I dread a point where the best solution would be to disentangle our lives from each other. Ie get a divorce, split up in every sense but title and emotions with moving out and being single income people somehow. I just feel like at that point for myself I’d have to end the whole thing cause I want a life partner to live with and I truly don’t think I could find someone else that would fit as perfectly as they do.

Side note for any wondering how we got married but didn’t have bigger talks about being poly: I’ve grown up never understanding monogamy and why you can’t be with multiple people. So I’ve always identified as poly but until recently that hasn’t really been an acceptable thing to be. At least more publicly. So I’ve only had monogamous relationships until this one and we entered it with them having a primary relationship with someone and me just being a friends with benefits. I slowly helped them leave that relationship as their partner was highly toxic and manipulative (story for another day) and we also connected in ways that really neither of us had before. Like we both identify as aromantic and were both saying we didn’t want anything serious and once they left they wanted to not officially date anyone but before we knew it we basically were. And there was enough shit going on in both of our lives that neither of us were really in places to see others and anything else from there was very sex only for them. And it was only one person that ultimately just used my partner as a rebound until they got back with their ex again. So like there wasn’t even a real emotional connection that it was kinda whatever.

[hislittleraincloud]

i know ur not ok, i wont ask if ur ok, but i hope ur ok :)

You're right though. Haven't been okay in a while.

Dunno what it could be, maybe it's that I've been dragging my feet with 8 because God, I hate this part of the story (not that my own chapter isn't already mostly written for its third part), or if it's the whole Junkie Cat Lady thing wearing me down (I had to drag in two pieces of her most characteristic furniture back into my cramped space: a mirror box end table and a leopard print Ottoman that the cats used to sleep on whenever I catsat them). Or, the fact that I've got nothing left besides my dogs and two are hella old and can just keel over at any given moment, given their age (17+). Yeah, my parents are still around but I think my mother's getting some sort of dementia (I can tell by talking to her), but that's what you get for neglecting the intellectual part of your brain in favor of being a nasty, narcissistic, manipulative cunt your whole life. Figures that would be her goddamn fate...to start to actually forget the shitty things she did to me when I was growing up.

Creatively, I've been writing other stupid crap aside from 8 and Jairo, things that could turn into mini-fic, but I dunno. Re: 8, it's like the more I watch this show, the more the glaring issues with the storyline (and this is barring ALL romantic shipping) POP out at me, nag the fuck out of me and just...ugh. I know, I've already fixed a couple of those throughout my published chapters (like Rowan's disappearing glasses), but looking at it from an objective standpoint, it's just...garbage storytelling with a lot of inconsistencies held together by the cute star of the show. Re: Jairo, I'm once again closer to publishing another Jairo than I am 8, but I just haven't had the energy.

I mentioned the other day that I had gotten new comments/praise for Under Virgin Circumstances over at AO3. And then last night, I had placed my phone into yanno, I had a story about something weird happening but I felt like I was rambling, so the short of that next thing was: Somehow, the Drive app that holds all of my Jairo documents was up and running on this phone even though I hadn't opened it in a couple of weeks.

I'm taking both of those as signs to go back to Benson for a little while. I'm not going to rush through something I care about just because of impatiences (not just the couple of fans it has, but my own...I get very impatient and frustrated with myself, it's disabling), but I really would like to publish something.

That's where I am, I guess. There, and also wanting to create more physical art. I could hardly afford it (finances have been strained ever since Cat Lady fiasco) but I got some cheap art supplies/paint and pencils for my birthday and have some ideas of what I'd like to be doing.

But I also got other needs and a brown furball that never leaves my side these days. I'm still really irritated when I think of that nurse's shitty joke...this little thing is my baby/kiddo. She acts like one. She chatters with me like a toddler when we're out on walks. (One time, she actually said what sounded like "Hello!" to some lady who said "Hi there, cutie!" on the lake and it creeped me out... I've never taught her to speak or anything. She has a weird voice...sounds like a monkey at times.) So, she's getting more of my time too, since I'm now lamenting that I didn't have enough time with her when she was tiny (the time went by SO FAST, she started growing out her limbs in barely two months 😭).

I guess I oughta keep on...keepin' on. I feel like Cairo keeps calling out to me, since all I've been seeing on my fyp has been HOD stuff, then all of a sudden there was that post I just reblogged on there. I should call her. 🫠

Anyway. Thanks for wonderin'. 💕✨

[garyfischy]

my 21 vbros rant

This is clearly cobbled together as i had way more i wanted to say, but i can't be assed to edit my writeup. Maybe youll see some of these ideas and frustrations about s6/s7 in a later essay. Feel free to leave me anon hate about putting a 9 paragraph rant on your tl. Fish out

I have a lot of feelings abt 21 vbros's ego death because thats like. All he's known his entire life. Just this world of fun and games and shit, and once that comes crumbling down once, then twice, and like. I think ironically his character development being shunted off to the side is a hilarious parallel to nerd-dom and otakus in general

After having to actually face reality and stop dicking around, he ends up spending a ridiculous amount of time devoting himself further to being a henchman. physically, on the outside, he becomes almost unrecognizable and obsessed with revenge- yet his obsession with somehow proving that manliness by having sex with women falls short, because he can't understand relationships. (Or whateverthefuck the monarch and drgf have going on, anyways). In other words, while he might be more tough and physically aggressive he hasn't matured beyond that same childishness (in the commentaries.. they were going to have a gag where he stares at drgfs tits and flashbacks to a bunch of other girls he liked as a teenager. Which is ..stupid but speaks for how inexperienced he is). Like he still talks about girls that hugged him and made eye contact years ago.

im not going to excuse the weird sexist stuff he did in s4 though. I think some of it shifts the focus away from "awkward dude" to "fucking creep" territory and a lot of it wasn't rlly needed

But then after the s4 bit he steps away to do his own thing, but doesn't really get how. Whatever he tries to do on his own just falls to pieces because he's still obsessed with being part of a cool team, one that couldn't care less about him. He ends up crawling back to the Monarch, who he's been obsessed with his entire life*, back into the same rut of being a henchman. Slightly different now that there's only 3 of them.

*hammer shifts between calling 21's obsession with the monarch vaguely father-figure like, noting he grew up without a dad, but then also contrasting it with drgf's sexual interest in the monarch, and how they both 'fall in love' in their own ways. dr girlfriend's love being pity and romance and 21's being blind devotion

s5/s6 is kind of weird because you can see the consequences of the past seasons on monarch/21's relationship. (Fuck this post is getting long! Ill have to write it in essay form later). Hammer describes it in the artbook as this sort of, abusive buddy movie relationship. Where 21 feels used and manipulated but can't do shit about it. He wrote up the blue morpho plan, after all. He thought it was cool to assasinate, but then gets all bummed out about doing the dirty work and burying the bodies. He still can't bring himself to reconcile that "cool" image of himself as Kano, mowing through enemies in a cool car, and that of himself as a lackey. Of watching his boss fuck his hot wife in the living room meters away. He still glamorizes his life even as the cracks obviously show through, in all 3 of the monarchtrio relationships. he expresses some guilt over the whole situation, and it would have been really interesting to see what happened after he was found out as the instigator of the morpho shit.

BUT THEN

THEY JUST DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

LIKE YOU'D THINK DR. GIRLFRIEND WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE UPSET THAT HER HUSBAND AND ... MANSERVANT JUST WENT OUT AND SLAUGHTERED MOST OF HER COWORKERS ILLEGALLY

But no. She just covers it up, that i understand , and nary a word is shared between them about the season-long arc. (I could write another essay about this too but that's for later). She's fine with it, because she loves the monarch, she's mrs. Wife, she moves on.

Even if the monarch jeopardized her career and possibly her life as well, doing something selfish and illegal that was completely unnecessary.

ANYWAYS this is getting way too long

But then post-s7, after both dr girlfriend and 21 express doubt over their choice in careers, after they're continuously compared as parallels/ foils to each other- they were brought into this bullshit world of larp-bureaucracy and henching and arching, and they love it, but it's starting to stress them out, they both get hard reset back to status quo by the movie. Dr Girlfriend worried about her marriage falling apart? 21 expressing remorse for his actions? Nah. Let's have them both give huge speeches about how great their lives are and how much they love their jobs! Don't even think about the irony of a woman groomed by her college professor to be a perfect trophy wife saying she "chose her station in life". Why even bother setting up all these threads of regret, burnout, remorse, if you're going to have these characters regress back to s2-era mentality?

Then again dr. Gf's arcs were never perfectly written. I just wish they did more with her as a character and her insecurities and regrets too...

This is stupid. But yeah 21 trying to escape from henching and find his own station in life, rebounding every time he tries to leave or quit, eventually ending at "i love my life and job" despite clear plot notes showing otherwise? Perfect analogy to the american nerd/otaku. Brushing off any flaws or worries in favor of being a loyal consumer.

[ashortdropandasuddenstop]

Ryan recoils in shock as the punch lands; grasping at his own face, "FUCK,"

Ryan blinks to clear the tears that have reflexively sprung to his eyes, "So, that's what it's like to be punched by one of us," he groans and winces. He then pauses as James's words finally register in his mind.

"...Excuse me?" he growls, standing up so fast his chair falls to the floor, "You fucking dare..."

Ryan's anger was skyrocketing, "Don't you ever insult my parents! They have done more for me than anyone in my life!" Ryan pokes a finger in James' chest, "News flash, asshole, not all family is bound by blood. They are just as important and valid to me as your family is to you! William Butcher and Hughie Campbell have shown me far more love than I deserve!"

Ryan started to pant in his anger, "Do you even know my full history with John? What has he done to me and my family? He raped my mother, James! And then forced himself back into her life like nothing was wrong, mentally putting her through hell to force a relationship with me!"

Ryan's eyes start glowing, "He went back on my mother's wishes and manipulated me away from her! My last words to my mother were, 'You lied, I hate you!'" Ryan's own guilt bleeds from his words, his glowing eyes filling with tears as he takes a moment to breathe, "Then he did the same thing to get me away from William. I hated the boy I became around him! I hated the things I did, the lives I took!"

Ryan sighs, powering down, "I forgave him, yes, but those things are not forgotten, James. I love John, I do," he glances at John when he speaks, "But he will never be my father. He can't...I can't..."

Ryan takes a breath and then, a few steps back, covering his nose and mouth with his hands clasped as if in prayer as he fought to keep calm, "I will, of course, help you catch the man who stole John's powers," he says after a moment, "But you don't get tell me who my father is, James. You control many things; you don't control that,"

@hom3land3r @ashortdropandasuddenstop

For a moment it felt like John wasn’t even there as his gaze shifted between James and Ryan. Both arguing, fighting. Over him. Which, normally he’d go for and preen over, but not in this context. It only caused him pain and embarrassment. Shame. Disappointment in himself for what he’d done and couldn’t fix.

He saw both sides, of course. James’ father was a true bastard and one that John would’ve gladly tore to pieces with his bare hands. In James’ eyes, he simply couldn’t understand why Ryan didn’t feel the same way John did about him. Ryan had not just one father, but three. Three more than either James or John ever had. And yet Ryan would never consider John his father. Of course James would find that ungrateful. Selfish, even. But Ryan had very good reason, and John didn’t blame him. It hurt, but he deserved it. That, and a whole lot more.

When Ryan’s anger made itself known, John stood between him and James, arms out against both. He wasn’t going to let this turn into a fight, not when they had other matters to deal with. He watched Ryan closely, saw those eyes glow and heard that darker tone. The tone that he knew all too well. Even though Ryan didn’t want anything to do with him being his father, Ryan was his son and unfortunately contained the same poison as he did. Something that would eat away at him if he wasn’t careful.

John allowed Ryan to say his peace, gaze turning to James the instant he sensed the vampire would retaliate. “James, don’t. Enough. This is something that we’ll have to agree to disagree on. At the end of the day, this concerns myself and Ryan. Not you. I’d rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all. Whatever I am to him is more than I deserve for what I did to him…and his mother. You only see good in me, James. But I can’t be excused for what I did. Not even by you.” He said, brows furrowed and eyes full of pleading. Pleading James to let this go, no matter how much it bothered him. “Ryan’s here and he’s willing to help me get my powers back. We have Zeus as our wolf-son. Let that be enough.”

It wasn’t like John to be so level headed, but he felt he needed to be when James was not. Plus, he knew he would be the only one to keep this situation…somewhat calm. “Look, we’ve all said our peace. Let’s move on, alright? Ryan, I’d appreciate your help and James would too. Like I said, it’ll give him time to feed and rest and get his energy back up. We’ll fill you in on what we know so far and plan from there. But if this asshole is out there using my powers and causing chaos in my name, I’m sure he won’t be too difficult to find. …I hope.” John said with a sigh, unaware that his nose had started to bleed. “Anyway…uh…James, what’s the latest?” He asked.

@ashortdropandasuddenstop / @mages-pandoras-box

"SILENCE!" James's voice was sharp and intense, his eyes flashing with a rare, fierce light. " Grabbing the boy by the wrist in icy grip when he shoved a finger into his chest . "What he's done in the past does NOT doesn't erase or CHANGE the fact that he is your father! Blood DOES matter, no matter how much you try to deny it!"

His own eyes are glowing vibrant green , not a threat of lasers but dangerous nonetheless. "Your father has made grave mistakes, yes, and he's hurt you in ways that are hard to forgive. But that doesn't mean he isn't trying to be better. He's repented, seeking the promise of redemption! How can he if YOU won't LET him IN?! YOU DON'T get to rewrite history to suit your feelings."

“James, don’t. Enough" John had gotten between them now, keeping him from what he was gonna do.

He'd been just about to give him a taste of what a terrible father REALLY is like when the command from John had James freeze mid-motion. John’s command carried a weight that demanded obedience from a centuries-old vampire. It was a power that didn't require V in his bloodstream. Reluctantly, James lowered his hand and took a step back, his expression clearly upset but respectful of John’s authority. He stood down, visibly disturbed by being told to drop the issue but undeniably obedient. "Sir. " he glares at John now, despite having heeded. James would have KILLED for a father like John.

James took a deep breath, composing himself before responding. “We’ve tracked some unusual activity to the outskirts of the city. It’s likely connected to our thief. ”

He glanced at Ryan, his earlier frustration still evident but tempered by a newfound resolve to work together. “I... understand that Butcher and Hughie have been there for you, and I respect that. I.. apologize for-- losing my temper. Let’s get this done. I'm weary of this ridiculousness already .. ” he snaps tossing his letter opener like a blade and it embeds in the wall , right between eyes on the picture of the fan on the map of all the places he'd hit but James was unable to pin down until he was already gone. James aim is sniper quality if not better.

And then he smelled it, the renewed scent of blood. The sight immediately diverted James’s attention from their argument. Eyes widened. His concern for John overrode everything else. In an instant, the vampire was at John’s side, his previous frustration replaced by worry.

“Darling, you’re bleeding again,” James said, his voice softening as he reached for his own handkerchief to press against John’s nose. “We need to take care of this.”

@mages-pandoras-box + @hom3land3r

How uh…how do you…nnngh aaah! Tell if your n-nose is b-…broken.