#just finished the good place which i started watching primarily because of him in the acolyte
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alastorsbookie10228 · 4 months ago
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Could you do hazbin hotel (romantic) (you pick which characters! I primarily would like husk and angel) x reader that really loves PDA and just make it wholesome and fluffy
OMG GUYS MY FIRST ASK ANFIHFOHVKVEQHOV (i'm literally giggling and kicking my feet)
Hazbin Hotel men + PDA
includes: Alastor, Husk, Angel Dust, Vox, Lucifer
i made all gender neutral
(Vox is NSFW)
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Alastor is a very reserved, "no touchy" kind of guy. he usually is kinder and more polite to the people he knows (and gets along with), and when you and him started dating, he started to let down his guard. at first, he was still reserved, but he slowly adapted. when no one's around, he'll hug, kiss, and hold you like nobody's business! (literally lol)
"dear?" Alastor said as he walked over to you in your now shared room. "yes?" you respond, looking over at him. "what is it?" wordlessly, he walked the rest of the way towards you and looked down at you, his ever present smile faltering to a small grin and his eyes hooded. he leaned down and kissed your cheek, his hand placed on the other side of your face. you wrap your arms around his neck and hug him, smiling as his arms snake around your waist. "i love you" you mumble into Alastor's shoulder. "and i love you, mon cher" he responds, sealing the deal with a kiss on your lips.
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Husk is...probably not super opposed to PDA, but i feel like he isn't all about it either. he'd be more affectionate in private, or when he's drunk. especially when he's drunk.
"hey babydoll" Husk says to you as you sit on one of the bar stools. you turn to look at him, a small smile on your face as you think "uhm...what?" he smiles at you with a dazed expression as he leans forward. "gimme a kiss, hun" he says, resting his elbows on the wood of the bar and his head on top of his hands. you blush slightly and lean in, pressing a soft kiss on his lips. he watches as you pull away and looks at your lips. "another one, baby" he says and smiles as you lean back in. this goes on for hours. just take the poor baby to bed at this point.
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now...we know he's affectionate in public or private. PDA is his way of living, hun.
"hey baby" he says as he sits by you on the couch. he grabs your chin and turns your face towards him and presses a long kiss to your lips. "how was your day, toots?" he asks, laying his head on your shoulder. "it was good. and yours?" you ask and look over at him. "meh. Val had me fucking randos all day. i'm exhausted"
*30 minutes later*
you lay next to Angel in his bed, Fat Nuggets laying between you both, snoring soundly. your head was rested on Angel's chest fluff as he ran his fingers through your hair, his bottom set of arms secured around your waist. he tilts your head up and kisses your lips. "good night, baby" he says with a small smile. "i love you"
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Vox is very loving, and he'd want to love on you all hours of the day...but the stupid meetings always get in his way. so that kind of means that he can't really have you latched on to him. so he'll make do with what he has. you.
Vox sat in his chair, watching the screen in front of him. the meeting was only 10 minutes in and he'd already missed you. he missed how your mouth felt wrapped around his length. he decided to send you a text.
7 minutes later, and you were back where he wanted you. under the desk, mouth stuffed with him. you slowly bobbed your head and watched as he held back his moans, tightly gripping his desk.
once that meeting was finished, he grabbed you by the hips and picked you up, slamming you into the chair and plunging his length into you.
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okay, now we're talking. so Lucifer isn't opposed to PDA, but he isn't sure he's good at it. he often blames himself for Lillith's absence, and he fears it was because he wasn't good enough. he's just a little baby that needs reassurance that he's good enough...and that his ducks are good enough, too.
Lucifer sat in his office, painting a duck. he hadn't moved in almost 2 hours. you were starting to get concerned. you walked into the room and knocked on the door. "Lucifer?" you say softly and see his shoulders slump slightly. you walk over to him. "honey, you okay?" your worry only increased as you saw the small liquid droplets that were on the desk below his head. he looked up at you. "honey, am i good enough?" he asked, his voice soft and weak. your eyes soften as you kneel down next to him and grab his face. "of course you're good enough, Lucifer. you're the best thing that's ever happened to me!" you lean forward and kiss him, softly smiling as you feel him wrap his arms around you. "i love you" he mumbles against your lips.
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ifwebefriends · 11 months ago
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A Reflection of Starlight Review
(TW: brief mentions of COVID, cancer, and suicide) (spoilers for Les Mis but no spoilers for AROS)
Please indulge me as I tell a bit of a personal story.
I took French all throughout high school and also participated in French club. I was also really into musical theatre (and I still am) so I was interested in the musical Les Misérables. I saw it live once and it was incredible. Sometime during my sophomore year I tried to read the original Brick but didn’t get very far, it’s just kinda not my thing I guess. But the characters were so charming and endearing to me and I was primarily moved by the stories of Jean Valjean and Inspector Javert. I was moved by how their characters and stories mirror each other and how they’re so alike but their differences drove them to very different places. During my senior year of high school we watched the 2012 Les Mis film in French club one day. At the end when Javert kills himself, almost everyone in the room cheered, but I did not. While Javert did many bad things, had a very narrow worldview, and made things so much harder for our protagonist, I still felt pity for him. I felt pity that he lived by this one doctrine all his life because he kind of had no other choice and when faced with the idea that he may be wrong, he was so distressed and had no one to turn to, so he took his own life.
Earlier that year, I started reading a fanfiction called A Reflection of Starlight by AutumnGracy, and I was quickly sucked in. For those unaware, it is a continuation of the Les Mis book that starts with one big difference: Jean Valjean saves Javert from drowning after he throws himself into the Seine. From there, the two grow closer and Javert learns to live with the fact that the law isn’t infallible with the help of Jean Valjean.
I started reading this fanfic in the spring of 2019 and I didn’t finish it until today, January 15th, 2024. Over four years. To my credit, it is a HUGE work, spanning over 379,000 words; that’s longer than the entire Hunger Games trilogy, which is about 301,000 words in total. A lot has happened in my life since I started reading that slowed my progress. The COVID pandemic hit, I got diagnosed with cancer, beat cancer, started college, had a cancer relapse, beat the cancer relapse, and got a boyfriend all in the time that it took me to finish this thing. This is the longest text that I have ever read.
And there’s a good reason why I stuck with it: it’s absolutely amazing. While I didn’t read the original Brick, the wording and structure of the story seems very appropriate for the original time period and story. It’s extremely well-written and tells a compelling story all on its own that gives all of the main characters a resolution to their pasts and a hopeful and happy ending. It’s kinda plot-heavy, there’s a lot of original stories and plot lines taking place, but it is all engaging and wraps up really nicely.
The center-point of the story, however, is the growing relationship and eventual romance between Jean Valjean and Javert. From beginning to end you see how this beautiful relationship slowly develops and grows. And I mean SLOW. This is literally the slowest burn that I have ever read. But it’s worth it. Even before it’s explicitly romantic, there are lots of cute, endearing moments between the two that kept me hooked. They’re even asexual which makes my aspec heart so happy. This is probably the greatest fanfiction that I’ve ever read.
@autumngracy thank you so much for such a wonderful work. Your authors notes throughout were entertaining and made me feel like I was experiencing this story along with you. Your writing is phenomenal and I hope you know how great your skills are.
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joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 3 months ago
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For the first time in probably... 5 years? Bit more? Bit less? I rewatched A Silent Voice. I wanted this to bookend the KyoAni groupwatch because it's pretty much their only standalone feature film, and I already know it's good and I like it, so it seemed like a nice spot to finish off with. And, yeah. I feel a little more complete having done this. Also feels like spring cleaning in a sense because I torrented the ITBD release and that was a clean 40GB I've finally gotten to delete lol.
But anyway. I've kind of had a bit of an arc with this movie. I watched it a long time ago, honestly think I gave it a 10 at first, and then hovered it down to a 9 at some point, and I'm pretty sure that happened when I read the manga. For a while there I thought the manga was straight up better, primarily because the manga is more. It's longer, there's more time spent on the supporting cast, there's more scenes pertaining to the main cast, there's an entire subplot about making a movie, and it continues for about a full volume's worth after the movie ends. And, you know, that's all a good thing, right? Everyone's fleshed out, there's more time with these characters, their relationships are better realised, it's all good.
But at some point, and I admittedly couldn't really tell you when, I started to prefer the movie. I haven't reread the manga whereas I've rewatched the movie several times which probably caused this, but I noticed that I'd basically forgotten everything that had happened in the manga that wasn't in the movie, and I think that's because I kinda stopped caring. Like the characters are more fleshed out, yeah, but when I'd be remembering the series I'm only really remembering Shouya and Shouko plus to a lesser extent Yuzuru. There's a movie making arc, but do I care? The best part about this story by far is Shouya and Shouko. Two wounded individuals trying and struggling to reconnect with each other but also their desire to live at all. It's a story of guilt and of redemption and of how painful it can be wanting to live despite everything. At some point I'd convinced myself Naoko Yamada and Kyoto Animation made the right call cutting a lot of stuff from the manga, because it gives the story a clearer focus on its best part. Their relationship is the thing that I care about and it's the thing the movie decided was the most important. Just cut the bullshit, the movie's better for it.
And so we get to today's arc, wherein I feel like I've realised that the movie simultaneously cuts too much and yet too little at the same time. It does focus primarily on Shouya's story of redemption and his development with Shouko, but a lot of other things are still kept, sometimes to the movie's detriment. Does the movie benefit from having Mashiba be a character? He's fleshed out in the manga but in here he just shows up, wants to be friends, and then gets yelled at. Shouya and Shouko's whole narrative would feel less muddled without him. Although at the same time he was a fleshed out character in the manga and it'd be better if that came across in this adaptation at all. Like you can cut him and it'd be better or you could have more of him and it'd be better. We're basically in a sour spot where entire parts of the movie don't really work because they should have a different level of focus - whether it's more or less. Entire swathes of this movie feel somewhat meandering because it doesn't commit to either approach. It wants to present everyone faithfully but it also cuts a lot of everyone's scenes to focus on Shouya and Shouko stuff. This leads to this whole thing where certain characters like Ueno and Kawai are really hard to get a read on because we don't spend the time we do with them in the manga. But again if we did it might just be sorta boring? Like do you see the problem I'm having. The movie's caught between a rock and a hard place. There's a perfect version of this story somewhere but it's neither the manga nor is it this anime. Cutting like half the cast is probably my preferred option but that's also a little nuclear and enough of them are important to where that probably wouldn't work. But again it doesn't really work as-is and it mostly works in the manga but it's also a little dull. There is no victory to be found.
And with those very mixed feelings aside that I don't think I communicated all too well, I have in fact lowered my score for this movie once again, and now it is down to... 8/10 lol. Yeah no I can say all that shit but I mean the movie's still an audiovisual masterpiece and has a fantastically written lead pair and tons of very strong emotional moments, like I still found myself crying several times during this rewatch. It's got by far the best depiction of bullying I've seen in anime such that the things it has to say about why bullying happens and what it does to people feel extremely potent and relatable. There are characters I don't love if everything I already said wasn't proof enough but certainly the lead pairs' family members in particular are incredibly likeable and compelling characters that are involved for lots of the strongest scenes in general. There are aspects in which the movie is a little confused and I think should've been adapted slightly differently but god damn if it isn't a gripping story all the same.
That's all from me, bye lol.
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selfproclaimedunicorn · 4 months ago
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For the OC heraldry game, Azure 1, Gold 2, and Black 3 for Ella!
Azure 1: Does your OC have a guiding principle by which they live their life--such as duty, self restraint or vengeance? Has this ever been tested by circumstance or challenged by another person?
I'd say that Ella's guiding principals are love & loyalty. Primarily to her family, but that kind of intense love can be pointed in the direction of a friend. A lot of what she does can be tied back into whoever she's showing this kind of devotion to & what she's decided to tie her love & loyalty onto.
This does get tested in some major ways throughout her arc, & I wouldn't say she ever wavers, but the tether these principles are tied to gets shifted around when her mother is murdered, when she confronts her dad later, when she finds out about Laenamon, when her favorite cousins respectively act like a freak & a half, with the whole Evyn Waters situation, when the stuff at Driftmark happens. And like, these are just the things I have happened or have been planned so far (no one ever ask me what the middle of my outlines look like). TBH, a lot of Ella's arc is finding where to place her big emotions & how to deal with them.
Or 2: Does your OC have any wishes or desires of which they are ashamed or otherwise wish to keep secret? Or do they loudly proclaim their every wish to those around them?
Everyone is gonna know what she wants whether they want to or not. I think she'd be ashamed to admit she used to want her parents to fix their marriage & for them all to be a big, happy family, but at the time that she was experiencing that want she was definitely gonna let people know about it. She was maybe quieter about that desire when she was a teenager, but, like, if you asked you were definitely gonna know about it/she wasn't gonna lie or hide it.
In terms of things she wants/desires/wishes for now there's not really a whole lot at this particular moment in the fic. She wants justice/vengeance for her mom, but her family wants that too. Otherwise? She's kind of getting everything she wants. She has a hunky simp boy toy malewife, she has a son she loves to bits, she gets to keep living at Runestone, she has her dragon, she has her brothers (even if one is being fostered atm), she's surrounded by friends--she wishes that the friend breakup with Laena hadn't happened, but that's more a "she shouldn't have done what she did" thing & she's not really ready to move on to fix that bond yet.
Sable 3: Is your OC comfortable in expressing their grief? Such as by crying at funerals or memorial events? Or do they always keep their emotions intensely private? Or perhaps not express them at all?
Babygirl has such a complicated relationship with grief & its expression therein.
She's good at expressing it in the moment, but she kind of also never got over that little kid thing where all your emotions feel like the biggest, most intense, extra version of that thing because you have never felt something so big in your life considering you haven't been doing this "alive" thing for too long. RIP Ella Royce, you would have loved modern psychiatric medicine & getting a proper diagnosis for the mood disorder you most definitely have.
She'll cry & carry on for however long she deems appropriate/believes that the cause of her grief is fresh, but she also gets incredibly overwhelmed by negative emotions so after a while she's going to run from it. She'll cry at the funeral & when a situation has just happened, but afterwards she's going to try to find some way to try to move on because "I want to be done now."
When her Grandfather Yorbert came home from being Jeyne Arryn's regent because he was sick, & she was having to watch him die, she started writing her fantastical, escapist self-insert history OC. When her Aunt Aemma died, she went back to those stories & actually finished writing them even though she hasn't touched them in at least a year. When her mom died she threatened to burn down King's Landing & then ran away from home so she wouldn't be at the place that was the source of her grief.
So, like, she's very good at the initial catharsis, & about as comfortable with it as one can be, but she's not good at when you have to process the feelings that come after that initial out pour.
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caelmewedd · 2 years ago
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@fallesto continued from X
SHE REALLY REMINDED HIM OF SASKIA
A strong, bold woman who wants peace and equality for humans and nonhumans. Unlike many lesser barons, princes, or King Henselt, she was not venal and was determined to protect the Pontar Valley from further conflict and bloodshed at all costs. With the help of him, Gwynbleidd, and many brave men, elves, dwarves and a few other unusual allies, she managed to achieve her goal. However, Saskia was hailed as the official queen of Upper Aedirn and the Pontar Valley, remaining modest and fair to all, regardless of status or race. It was a great honor to be queen, but that honor came with responsibility.
Iorveth felt more than proud that the dragon queen and mistress of his heart wanted him for her husband. He was the queen's husband, a ruler who always stood by her side, but he too did not pay much attention to honors and titles. He just wanted to have the woman he loved with him and a place that after a hundred years of war and bloodshed, he could call his home. His people, faithful comrades in arms, could also lay down their arms and lead a better and happier life.
"You are doing well to want to improve the lives of your people, in this respect you remind me a lot of Saskia. She fought for the good of humans and non-humans among whom she wanted to live. She did not give up, she fought and with the help of many great allies won and ended the war." Iorveth replied as he feasted, glancing at Cerys as he did so. "You also have the makings of a great queen, which I am sure you will become…however, know that being a queen is indeed a great honor, but if you want to achieve your goal, focus primarily on what you can do for your people. push thoughts of competition to the background and think about what you can do to make life better for your people. You seem to me a very tough and brave person, fight when necessary, but do not start pointless conflicts."
Ciaran and Aevon nodded silently, knowing Iorveth had spoken well and wisely. They both knew Saskia and how she dealt with her subjects, although in her case the term "people" was more appropriate.
"Other candidates for the crown of these islands probably bet on the traditional 'force' approach. Don't make their mistakes and go your way. Believe me, sometimes it's better to conquer with courage than with strength." Iorveth replied, looking out of the corner of his eye at the tiger who was walking around the room unable to find a place. The elf cut off a piece of roast and threw it to the animal. Encouraged by the generous offer, Rajah lay down against the wall and busied himself eating a piece of meat.
"I don't know if I can offer you any great adventure, because that's not what I came here for, but I will definitely leave the hut after the storm. Maybe I will be able to do something for you." Iorveth replied, and they all finished their dinner in silence.
Although Ciaran did not share the idea of leaving the warm and cozy cottage, he knew that he must be with his sister and watch over her as she always watched over him. Aevon also had some ideas for spending time on the islands.
"Even if this garden is hard to get to, I might be able to do it. And if not, I'm sure there are many interesting places on the island…And you, Cerys, which place do you like best?" Aevon asked, curious about her opinion.
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dracowars · 4 years ago
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LOVED YOUR TOM RIDDLE. Can I please request a arranged marriage au where yn is in love with him but he hates her so when she decides to let him go or someone else wants to marry her, Tom finally realises he’s in love with her. happ ending :))))
my heart belongs to you | tom riddle
pairing: tom x black!reader
word count: 3,3k
summary: where tom and y/n are in an arranged marriage
a/n: i'm so sorry for being so inactive recently, uni is taking its toll on me.. i had to do a bit of research for this one and also tom is a pureblood here!
warnings: toxic relationship, violence
universe: harry potter
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“Get out of my sight, will you?”, he angrily snaps at you out of nowhere, for the third time already on this still very early day. Furiously, he stomps past you, pushing you to the side harshly, the filled glasses on your tray swaying dangerously. Knowing that you should just leave him alone, you stand there completely frozen at the door, still feeling the breeze on your skin after he stormed past you.
The glasses clink on the serving tray as you try to keep your trembling hands under control, but you terribly fail while tears shoot into your eyes. A lump forms in your throat and you gasp in desperation, losing your composure after hearing the front door slam shut.
Slowly, you slump down and therefore with a loud rattle let happen what could have been foreseen already: a thousand shattered pieces of glass scattered across the floor around you while you cower against the wall, your elegant dress pulled over your knees, your forehead leaning against it. Heavy sobs rock through your body and tears find their way down your cheeks, dripping from your chin onto the expensive fabric of your dress.
You just wanted to spend some time with him. Together, in the house of your parents, who went on a daily trip with their close friends early in the morning, all part of the most notorious popular pureblood families in the wizarding world – the Nott’s, the Macmillan’s, the Malfoy’s, the Lestrange’s. And if his parents were still alive, probably with the Riddle’s as well.
This is primarily the reason why you even are in this position right now; crying and huddled in the living room because your fiancé hates you profoundly.
After graduating from Hogwarts last year, the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you, descendant of the pureblood Black family, got engaged to Tom Marvolo Riddle, the last living heir of the Riddle’s. He would offer you a good future, they said, and you would never have to worry about anything again.
But nobody knows that in reality, your own beloved fiancé really does not want to have anything to do with you. He does not even want to stay in the same room as you.
You can’t explain why he acts like this towards you. You do not know why he harbors such an abysmal hatred for you and any clear-headed, rational person would have done something about it long ago. Unfortunately for you, you feel the exact opposite for him.
Your heart belongs to him and only to him.
You have liked him since you first met him at Hogwarts, back in 1938, when the two of you were sorted into the Slytherin house. This initial friendly liking has quickly evolved into something more than that over the years and lead you to where you are now, at a point where you would have never seen yourself back then.
You have already tried everything to convince him that you are not as bad as he seems to think. Every morning you bring him his breakfast, you give him everything he needs. Even when you were still at Hogwarts, you always looked after him, finished his homework for him when he was too busy to do it by himself, and helped him pass all of his exams.
And not once did you hear a thank you. Not then and not now either.
Slowly gathering your thoughts together again, you rub the long sleeves of your velvet dress over your damp face, wiping away all of your tears before you get up on shaky legs and begin to clean up the mess that you have created. After you went back to the kitchen with the broken pieces and some injuries on your hands, your gaze longingly slides out the window.
Outside, the sun stands high over the magnificent garden of the mansion, making the clear water in the fountain shimmer in its bright light. A gentle breeze blows through the air and rustles through the perfectly cut trees that line a small path through the garden.
The loud, excited voices that suddenly roar through the house snap you out of your daydream and you quickly wipe the blood from your fingers before you step into the huge marble entrance hall. You arrive at the front door just in time to open it for your parents, who, to your surprise, did not come back alone. You are amazed to find not too familiar faces in front of you as they climb up the stairs to the door where you are still standing.
“And that has to be Y/N. Oh, how you have grown!”, an older man smiles friendly at you and you return his smile with a certain uncertainty in your face.
“Darling, we brought guests over for dinner today. You surely remember the Lestranges?”, your father announces happily and only now do the faces that you have seen at numerous balls and celebrations seem familiar again. Especially one.
“Reinhard?”, you ask in amazement when you spot him standing behind his parents, a big smile on his face when he sees you.
“Y/N, how nice to see you again”, he grins, carefully pushing his way past your parents in order to slightly bow venerably to you, taking your hand in his to place a kiss on the back of it. “It has been some time.”
“I am sure you have a lot to tell each other”, your mother mentions in a sweet voice, but before she can continue, she watches how your facial expression changes from one second to the other as you look past them, out into the yard.
Next to the carriage with which they have returned, Tom is standing now, petting one of the splendid noble white horses before he joins all of you.
“Tom! There you are, I was already wondering where you went”, your father says, visibly pleased when he too spotted his future son-in-law, drawing everyone’s attention to him.
“Reinhard?”
“Tom?”
Within a few seconds, the two former best friends lay in each other’s arms, obviously happy to finally see the other again.
“Let us go inside. We want to show you our newest masterpiece of art in our wonderful collection, come on”, your mother announces happily and leads the Lestranges inside, but not without turning around to you once more. “The children can catch up on what they have missed.”
“I can’t believe it! You are really here, Tom. Man, you look even better than at Hogwarts”, Reinhard laughs, playfully pushing Tom to the side while you watch them in silence. “What are you doing here with the Blacks?”
“They kindly took me in”, Tom lies to him and for a moment you think he threw you a glance out of the corner of his eyes after uttering these words. His statement makes Reinhard realize that you were still there with them, who had apparently completely forgotten that you were even there.
“I am so happy to see you again, Y/N!”, he grins and takes a step closer to you, probably to be able to take a closer look at you. “Still just as beautiful as I imagined. And just as smart, I guess?”
Reinhard’s sudden compliments make you blush and your cheeks glow, which is why you nervously avert your gaze from him, directly falling on Tom, who looks at the scene in front of him with incredible resentment.
Unlike Tom, Reinhard was always there for you. You spent a lot of time together in your school days and if your parents had known about your close friendship, you are sure that he would have been your fiancé by now. Which, to be honest, does not sound bad anymore right now.
And yet your heart still belongs to Tom.
When you all sit together at dinner later in the evening, where your parents are talking about irrelevant things like Ministry of Magic, you keep making eye contact with Reinhard, who seems to be staring at you.
“Is there something on my face?”, you ask uncertainly and put your glass back on the table when you can no longer bear his piercing gaze.
“No, no, not at all. I was just wondering how a beautiful witch like you could have become so much more stunning”, Reinhard winks at you, causing you to swallow hard. You are not used to getting compliments, especially not from a handsome young man like him. Before you can answer to him, however, there is a loud clink and you startle, your eyes immediately fixed on the cause of the noise.
The glass, which you have certainly placed far away from the edge, is now lying in your lap, the little liquid that was still inside now spread over your elegant evening gown. You move your chair back in shock when, in the corner of your eye, you see how Tom puts away his wand. And not only did you notice Tom just now, but the rest of them follow your gaze.
“Tom, darling, how about you tell our guests how you and our daughter got to know each other”, your mother suddenly prompts him, not even realizing that he has just deliberately spilled your drink on you. But why did he in the first place?
„I would love to“, Tom puts on a really believable smile that no one but you questions and starts telling them how you met and fell in love with each other. He tells one lie after another, explaining the web of lies that you have spun around you over time to make your relationship as credible as possible, at least in front of other people. And suddenly nobody cares about you or your still soaking wet dress anymore.
“What a wonderful story”, Mrs. Lestrange applauds and everyone else seems to be completely enthusiastic about Tom’s fairytale. To top it off, he then reaches across the table to take your hand in his, just like a real affectionate couple would do.
You lower your gaze as he gently strokes the back of your hand with his thumb, trying your best to not show how uncomfortable you are. Oh, how much you wish that this were real, that Tom would actually treat you like this when you are alone, the same way as he does in front of your parents.
But he does not and deep down you know that he will never do.
“So, you are engaged?”, Reinhard scrutinizes the statement of his former best friend, his eyes focused on you suspiciously, as if he is expecting an answer from you and not from Tom. A slight pressure on your hand makes you flinch and look up.
“Y-Yes”, you force a smile onto your lips, whereupon Tom seems satisfied with your answer, letting go of your hand again with a - what seemed to you like a – disgusted expression on his face.
An uncomfortable silence spreads between the three of you, which is drowned out by the loud conversation of the adults on the other side of the table. Finally, making up your mind, you clear your throat loudly and get up from your chair, gaining everyone’s attention in a matter of seconds.
“Excuse me, I have to go freshen up for a moment”, you explain with a slight polite bow before turning away to leave the dining room.
“Reinhard, would you be so kind and help Y/N”, Mr. Lestrange asks his son, who stands up with furrowed brows, apparently just as surprised about this sudden request as you, but then follows you out into the hallway with no further objection.
“I really do not need any help, thank you”, you try to get rid of him as you walk up the large staircase leading to the first floor together, only wanting to be alone.
“Dinner like these are totally boring anyway”, he chuckles softly and shows no intentions of leaving your side any time soon, which is why you do not even try to search for further arguments. He follows you to your room where you are able to tear yourself away from him to put on a new dress while he waits outside in front of the door.
With an equally elegant burgundy red dress you step out of your room after a few minutes, Reinhard’s eyes greeting you with a sparkle.
“Wow”, he breathes out barely audible and takes you hand without asking to swirl you around, causing your dress to fly around gorgeously. Unintentionally, warmth rises in your face again and your hearts makes a barely noticeable jump inside your chest when he looks deep into your eyes after catching you back in his arms.
The loud clearing of a throat behind you makes you turn around in shock, only to see that Tom himself is now standing at the end of the corridor, not seeming very enthusiastic.
“We did not see you there, Tom”, Reinhard disguises his obvious nervousness with a laugh, acting like Tom had just caught you in doing something he should not have seen. Tom, however, does not even react to his words, but looks past Reinhard at you, his eyebrows raised meaningfully.
But when you do not move under his piercing gaze, his facial expression changes and he quickly approaches you, Reinhard instinctively pushing you behind him so that you can only see Tom approaching further over his shoulder. Before neither you nor Reinhard can say or do anything, Tom has already pulled out his wand and aims it directly at Reinhard, who flies back through the air only a few seconds later, hitting the hard marble floor at the end of the corridor with a thud.
“What the-?!”
“Come with me”, Tom orders, now standing directly in front of you. When you stubbornly refuse, he suddenly grabs your wrist to pull you away from there. No matter how much you fight against his firm grip, you cannot tear yourself away from him as he pulls you into the closest room, which turns out to be the library.
Once there, you can finally free yourself from his tight grip, but before you can reach for the doorknob to leave immediately, he locks the door with a spell. Angrily, you turn to him, despair written all over your stunning face.
“What is this supposed to be, Tom? Let me out of here, now!”, you command him in a loud voice, not caring if anybody can hear.
“What did he want from you?”, he asks you urgently and steps closer to you. Since the door is in your back, every possible escape route is blocked, and you are caught.
“We just talked to each other, you know. Like normal people do”, you answer irritably and cross your arms in front of your chest, not in the mood to justify yourself, especially not in front of someone who does not care about you at all and not after what he has done.
“But that did not look like it.”
“Tom, stop it.”
“You belong to me and nobody else!”
These words coming out of his mouth echo loudly through the dark library, his face wrapped in an eerie candlelight. Before you can even control yourself and fully process what he said, you severely slap him.
Frightened by your own horrible deed, you immediately pull your hand away, your gaze filled with fear, but the anger that keeps building up inside of you winning the upper hand after all.
“How dare you call me your property?!”, you scream in rage and tears form in your eyes because of your uncontrollable anger. However, Tom needs a moment to collect his thoughts after your heavy smack before he can answer you.
“You are my fiancé”, he spits out coldly, a touch of shock in his voice, apparently not expecting you to react like this.
“And that does not make me nowhere near your property! You never treat me like your fiancé anyway, so why now all of a sudden?!”, you bicker at him, your voice loud and constant, even though you would like to flee from this situation right away if you were able to.
But Tom does not have an answer.
“Fine, okay. If you have nothing to say to me, like you never have, then I will go back now and ask my parents to end this damn failed engagement and engage me with someone else who truly cares for me!”
Suddenly, without letting you time to catch your breath after your outburst, he presses you with your back against the door completely, his hands tightly grabbing your wrists, a little too tight for your personal liking.
“You mustn’t do that”, he softly whispers, his head lowered as if he does not dare to look you in the eyes.
“What is stopping me?”, you hiss, still full of anger and – probably for the very first time – hatred towards him.
But when you feel his lips on yours all of a sudden, all of these emotions evaporate and all that remains is your racing heartbeat, which is being repaired at this very moment. You never would have thought that at some point in your life the moment would come when Tom Marvolo Riddle, who absolutely loathes his fiancé, kisses you.
After kissing you, he looks straight into your eyes, and the Tom you met in 1938 is standing in front of you again. The Tom you fell so deeply in love with.
“I can’t explain it to you”, he finally breaks the silence, his gaze directed to the floor as he moves away from you, giving you enough space to breathe regularly again. You, however, do not say anything but just stare at him.
“I was not aware that I am capable of feeling such feelings for someone. I am unfamiliar with this feeling and I did not know how to deal with it, Y/N. I treated you badly because I did not want it to be true, I did not want to accept it. I could not imagine having feelings for the little nuisance that has always been running after me”, Tom explains, choosing each and every single word very carefully, trying to put his emotions into words which does not really work the way he would like it to. But that is how you know him. You know that this confession must be extremely difficult for him, but you can’t help but feel a sense of relief inside of you.
“When?”, you ask and manage, with this tiny little word, to make him look up at you. “When did you know?”
“Since I have been here. You served me every day and took care of me, even though I wanted to push you away from me with all of my might. You have already helped me so many times in the past without me even asking, you have always accepted me for who I am”, he desperately tries to but his feelings into words, asking himself what he is even doing right now.
“Tom..”
“No, I have to sincerely apologize to you. I had no right to treat you the way I did. And also today.. when I saw you with him and how well you got along, it finally became clear to me. Reinhard has felt something for you since our school days, I know that even though I could never understand, but now I do. I understand why he fell in love with you”, Tom continues without breathing, pouring out all of his feelings that he has hidden for so long.
“I understand if you want to dissolve this engagement and I will not stop you if that is what you want”, he quickly adds, looking at you with desperation in his eyes. He already prepares himself for the worst when you are the one getting closer to him this time.
“Idiot”, you smile slightly and place a gentle kiss on his lips while he looks at you puzzled. “I love you, I thought you knew that.”
“I know, but-“
“But nothing”, you interrupt him and take his hand to lead it to your fast pounding heart. “It always belonged to you.”
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ronnieiswriting · 3 years ago
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Sweet Dreams- Boxer!Paz x Baker!Freader
Inspired by the events of Foul (following straight after) and the Boxer Din AU created and written by the wonderful, amazing, brilliantly talented @djarinsbeskar! WC: 1,641 Tags: 18+, mentions of smut, its a smutty AU ya'll know the drill, sickeningly sweet fluff I have been driven to write this to deal with all my Paz thots- it will become very clear that I make up for the fact that I can't write hot smut by writing the softest shit. Excuse the lack of editing, also, its quite the mess x
After Din had stormed off with his “not-girlfriend” at Avika, Paz was more than ready to go home right then and there, thoroughly unwanting to deal with the feral frenzy that Din had stirred up in and out the ring. But there was no doubt that there would be more calls for blood. And even if that weren’t the case- even if Din wasn’t on the lists tonight- Paz had to stay.
It was his job after all. And one he enjoyed more often than not.
But when he thought about you, Paz’s priorities became trivial- like dust in the wind.
He hadn’t been dating you for long but he already knew that he was in deep. To Paz, you were the one that hung the stars in the sky; you, a hardworking baker with a smile that made his heart ache and hips that made his cock twitch. It was love, the realest he’d ever found, and every day he swore his gratitude to whatever force had sent him to you.
It was almost a taunt to watch Din leave Avika with his “not-girlfriend” tucked into his side- he’d been disqualified from any more fights that night but he couldn’t look any less content about it- when Paz had to stay behind with nothing but the thoughts of you waiting for him back at his place to keep him company.
To pass a bit of time between the words that were being exchanged between Boba and Din’s opponent’s trainer, Paz checked his phone- his mood instantly brightened when he saw a notification from you.
From: Sugar Cookie💖
Hey babe, I just got home. Did you feed Kitty yet? He’s begging me for food rn but I know he’s probs got a full belly and is just being a little gobble guts lol. sent 4:13am
I gave him a tinyyy bit of kibble to hold him over in case you didn’t. Kitty knows I can’t resist him. Sorry for messaging you at work btw. I know you’re busy xx Love you xx sent 4:19am
Paz checked the current time. 5:30am. Shit. He must’ve missed the buzz of the notification amidst the chaos. Usually, your shifts at the bakery ended closer to midnight but he knew you to be a hard worker, proud of the bakery you ran by yourself, and always likely to get caught up in a task until it was done to a high standard. It was just another thing for Paz to love about you.
His thumbs hovered over the reply box; you had probably already gone to bed, exhausted from your own long day of work. He couldn’t bring himself to disturb you but he pushed past that doubt a second later, typing out a response, softened when he reread your messages about his kitten.
“Vizsla!” Boba’s voice pulled him back into reality. “Are you listening at all? This does concern you.”
Paz managed an easy half-lie, fingers tapping away as he switched contacts and began typing another message, “I’m sending Din a text- trying to figure out what started all this.”
When Paz finally did get home it was pushing 8am. Expecting to find you curled up in his bed, comfortably asleep, he was shocked to see you as soon as he opened the door to his apartment. You were propped up against a wall of cushions on his couch with a book resting in your lap and his kitten snoozing on your chest. Head thrown back and peacefully still, he could tell you were fast asleep.
Just the sight of you, the shape of your body outlined by the drape of the blanket that was thrown over you, your features illuminated by the warm light of the lamp, the splay of your hair over the pillows- just looking at you relieved him of so much of the stress he had carried home. His eyes traced over your form, picking out the dip and curve of your hips, and he was struck again with the amount of love he had for you. He still couldn’t believe how quickly he had developed such deep feelings for you but that fact made them no less sincere. The softness and simple intimacy (whether that be primarily sexual or emotional) that your company alone promised never ceased to amaze him.
Trying to be as quiet as he could manage, Paz shut the door behind him, put his backpack down by the door, and crossed the room to kneel down at your side. He considered leaving you there for the rest of the night- if he did he could go take a nap and then come back and wake you up by eating you out before making you breakfast- but ultimately he wanted to, needed to sleep next to you… and he couldn’t manage that on the couch.
He got the best sleep when you stayed the night, your chest made a far better pillow and your arms though relatively small provided him with so much warmth that he would be more than content to sleep without any covers (which happened sometimes when you hoarded the blankets).
Paz let out a silent sigh and reached out to stroke the hair away from your face. You stirred in response and he leaned in to press a kiss to your nose, “Hey, baby, it’s just me.”
You let out a soft moan, eyes scrunching up before blinking open, looking up at him blearily, “Paz~”
His heart could have burst at the sound of your gentle voice laden with sleep. Carefully so as not to disturb your place, Paz eased the book from your fingers. The exhaustion was palpable on your face, the weight of many hours of work pulling at the edges of your eyes. “I thought you’d be in bed by now.”
You eased yourself up on the cushions, one hand bracing the kitten against your chest. “I wanted to stay up for you. I didn’t mean to doze off.” Fuck. Paz was slipping his arms under you faster than you could process and when he stood you were tucked against his chest, kitten, blanket and all. You didn’t even seem bothered by the shift, curling your fingers into the neckline of his shirt. The simple touch drove him wild- the burn of your warm skin against his throat like a blowtorch- and the fact that you seemed oblivious to that only made him ache for you more.
When he had gotten you halfway to the bedroom you spoke again in that voice that threatened sleep, “I would've been able to stay up for you if I didn’t have to spend three hours on a last minute order for a wedding cake.”
Paz opened the door with his hip. “You don’t have to say yes to every job you know.”
“I know- but the couple was so sweet, I couldn’t say no. Plus they paid me double and half on top because of the short notice.”
He laid you out on the bed and replaced the throw blanket with his thick quilt, kitten moving to curl up beside your head on the pillow. The comfortable setting was luring you quickly to sleep again but you were still determined to see him next to you before you shut your eyes again fully. When he didn’t immediately join you, you frowned.
Paz eased the crease in your brow with a kiss there, “Don’t pout, sweetheart. I just gotta take a shower.” He could have skipped one for now, knowing you wouldn’t protest his sweaty skin, but he wanted to be rid of the flecks of blood that had stuck to him, everything that had stuck to him from that ring, before he touched you. You started to protest but Paz silenced you with a searing kiss to your lips, “I won’t be long, I promise.”
If he had thought you would be back asleep by the time he finished he was fooling himself. You scooched backwards on the mattress and petted the space you made in front, “come here.”
Paz went willingly, instantly. He eased back the covers and shuffled in next to you, clad only in a pair of boxers, hands instantly finding your skin to greedily palm the warmth that radiated from you. You cozied up to him just as naturally, arms wrapping around his neck so that he could tuck his face against the crook of your neck. With the covers pulled over the both of you, Paz felt surrounded by your presence and it calmed any remaining stress he had.
Although he had reprimanded Din for taking a violent approach to defending a woman’s honor, Paz couldn’t deny the fact that he’d be just as likely to take a similar action if anyone spoke about you like that- just thinking about those vile, entitled words directed at you made his jaw clench subconsciously. And yet just as soon as that anger stirred up in him, it dissipated again, soothed by the thump of your heart against his chest and the delicate fan of air you puffed over his damp skin.
He was reminded of the first time he told you he loved you; not long ago, in the middle of a good hard fuck when he had you by the hip, lost in the emotion of your eyes to the point where his confession had come out as a babble that became a mantra that he punctuated with each thrust of his hips. You had been on the verge of tears then, overstimulated and shaking, when you returned the words to him from your own lips: I love you too.
“I love you.” Paz whispered.
You snuggled against him tighter, a sleepy sigh escaping you when his hands ran up and down your sides. “I love you too.”
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thefanficmonster · 4 years ago
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Fated
Karl Heisenberg x Autistic, Sound-sensitive Reader (Female)
Warnings: Swearing, Spoilers for RE8:Village, Noise sensitivity
Genre: Romance, Comfort
Summary: Not everyone could love a man like Heisenberg. But Y/N isn’t everyone, nor is she just anyone. She loves him as the whole package he is: murderous intentions, human experiments and all.
Requested by @phoenixofthevalley Hi dear! Here you go - the first fic I’ve ever written for Karl Heisenberg (first of many) and thank you so much for being my first ever Resident Evil 8 requester! Hope you enjoy the read! Feel free to correct me if I’ve described anything incorrectly or in an accidentally offensive manner. I have no intention of spreading hate or any type of misconception so I’d really appreciate the correction. Love, Vy ❤
Watching Karl get so excited over this grand plan of his - the destroying of Mother Miranda, his revenge - it all makes me feel uneasy. I can’t explain the feeling, mostly cause I’ve never felt it before, and I can’t quite describe it either. I don’t connect to people easily and I’ve always been told I’m the problem but I guess it took the right person to make me feel things I haven’t felt for no one else all my life.
“The weren’t worthy of your emotions, darling.“ Karl told me on one of the rare occasions when I opened up my mind to him. I felt his words wrap around me like a comforting embrace. For the first time in my life, I felt understood.
I think that’s what took me the longest to get used to - being understood, seen and validated. My opinions had never before been taken into account seriously, my personal boundaries were rarely respected by others and people always had a hard time dealing with how distant I can be. But what bothers me above all is how people refer to me as dramatic because of my sound sensitivity - something no one took seriously when I’d tell them about it.
Karl did though, surprising me to no end.
He respects that I like my personal space and prefer not being shown much affection, especially not physical. He understands that I have a hard time showing people affection myself. He goes out of his way to make sure I’m ok with whatever it is he’s doing, saying or suggesting. And I’m sure that if I were to ever tell someone about this, they wouldn’t believe me. That’s most definitely due to his rough exterior and intimidating appearance. Also probably because he comes off as downright selfish and rude when you first meet him, but getting to know him was a journey worth taking because I now know the real him. A trust me, his rough exterior and the softness of his true self have nothing in common. Although, he does claim that softness is only reserved for me.
With all that laid out, it’s completely understandable that I don’t want him going up against Mother Miranda. Thanks to Karl I’ve never had the displeasure of running into her, but I’ve heard countless stories of how powerful and downright terrifying that witch is. Bottom line: I don’t want Karl walking into something that’s the equivalent of suicide.
And I’ve finally decided to let him know exactly how I feel about it.
I’ve been sitting here, searching for my voice as I observe Karl in his deepest thinking space. He’s constantly in it, if you ask me - constantly thinking, looking for ways to make his innovations better, stronger, more powerful to add to his chances of victory against the sadistic ruler of this village. He was already at his desk when I walked in, hunched over dozens of drawings drawn with cut-edge precision yet in his mind they are probably not near good enough. In his mind, all he does is never good enough. He prides himself on this factory and what he’s produced thus far but he cannot stay proud of himself for very long, he constantly feels the need to better himself in order to remain worthy in his eyes. I wish I could change his mindset on those grounds but I know that my tries would be futile and pointless.
“Karl?“ I suddenly speak up, surprising both him and myself. I don’t know what I was thinking opening my mouth when I still have no idea how to go about this without making it seem like I don’t believe in him. That is in no way the case. I believe he can defeat her, if he cannot do it himself, his robo-army most certainly can. But I don’t want defeating her to cost him his life cause without him in mine I’m not sure what will be left of me.
He straightens up from where he’s been hunched over for the past God knows how many hours, rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms as her turns to look at me, his sunglasses capturing the white neon light in the office as he does so.
“What is it, darling? Something wrong?“ he takes a step towards me as I stand up and go to approach him.
“Actually...“ Suddenly, that thing he keeps in a safety cell just below this room starts going off with that annoying loud sound it makes. It’s always disturbed me, ever since it came to exist which was not so long ago considering it’s been his latest project. It not only terrifies me but triggers my sound sensitivity as do most of the machines in this forsaken factory.
I close my eyes tightly shut as I cover my ears with my hands, praying for the sound to go away as soon as possible because I can’t take it. It almost makes me physically nauseous and gives me vertigo, bringing me to the brink of tears because of its loudness and intensity, like it’s drilling right into my brain.
I can’t quite pinpoint the exact moment the sound went away because when faced with such a pain-inducing experience, my senses tend to tune out while I still remain conscious, but when my hearing returns I the only thing I’m able to hear is a steady heartbeat and a steady breathing. 
“It’s ok, darling. You’re ok.“ I hear Karl’s quiet whisper, giving me peace and coaxing me into opening my eyes.
When I do so, I come to realize why the rest of the world has gone quiet. Why I’m suddenly so flooded with comfort like no one is able to bring me. No one but him.  One of my ears is pressed up to his chest while the other is covered by his warm hand which travels up to move a strand of hair from my face and put it behind my ear as he repeats his soothing words like a chant, slowly starting to let go of me out of fear that he’s crossing a line. He’s always so wary about that and I’ll forever be grateful to him for it.
“Are you ok, sweetheart?“ His hands gently cup my cheeks, tilting my head so I can look him in the eyes - directly in the eyes, for he has ridden himself of his glasses. I’ve found he does that often when around me - removes his glasses. I once asked him why that is but the answer he gave me was vague, all the while a small smile played on his face. Guess he’s a bigger secret-keeper than I primarily thought. It doesn’t bother me really, I know the only secrets he keeps are the ones that would be a hazard for my safety if he exposed me to them, so I allow him his secrets and I keep some of my own to myself. It’s only fair, after all.
I nod, blinking up at him, “Yes, I’m ok. But...“ Now or never, girl. Now or never. “But if you want me to be honest, I will be.”
He looks baffled by my answer but he doesn’t falter, quickly regaining his composure before he replies, “Of course, dear. I always want you to be honest with me. What’s on your mind, what’s bothering you?“
Now “I haven’t been really ok for a while now.” I take his hands in mine, removing them from my cheeks but holding them firmly between us - a gesture that surprises me just as much as it shocks him. Never have I felt the need to be so close to someone. It may be momentary and temporary, but I refuse to dwell on that as I push forward with my argument, “I haven’t been ok since you told me about your plane. The whole thing with Mother Miranda and all that...” Not the time to be leaving me, words. I started this, I’ll finish it. “Look, Karl, I know you and your army can bring that witch to her demise but...”
“But what, Y/N? Tell me.“ He encourages me softly, his hands subtly tightening their hold on mine as if to keep me grounded, remind me he’s listening closely to every word I’m saying. Like he always does.
“But what if it doesn’t go as planned?“ I blurt out, biting my bottom lip nervously. It makes me anxious, being so honest and emotionally exposed. That’s so rare for me I doubt I’ll ever get used to it, but that’s the only way I have at least a fragment of a chance of convincing Karl to drop this. “What if things go south and you end up killed or turned into a monster or something else?“
The concern on his face washes away when he hears my words, getting replaced by a soft, consoling smile. I quickly look away, feeling that confession on my part was quite odd. I feel out of place but not uncomfortable, I don’t know how to explain it. It almost feels like relief, like I’ve finally gotten a huge boulder off my chest and I can finally breathe properly. But I can’t, not until I hear his reply. That smile should probably tell me something but it doesn’t - I won’t believe anything until I hear it come out of his mouth with my own two ears.
“Oh Y/N, darling, you won’t lose me. Ever.“ His thumb swipes across my knuckles soothingly, drawing abstract patterns on the skin of the back of my hand, “You never need to worry about me, hun, I ain’t going anywhere. No one can take me away from you or you away from me. Anyone who dares to try, well, bad things will happen to ‘em.“ He chuckles, easing the tension enough for me to able to look up at him again. When our eyes meet again, I see something I can’t name nor describe. All I know is that what he’s telling me is genuine and comes, “I’ll always be here, by your side, Y/N. I will always be here to shield you from anything and anyone. Any rogue lycan or any loud sound, I’ll be there to prevent it from reaching you. Never forget that. Ok?“
That urge to be have him close takes over me again. I think that somewhere in the back of my mind I see a clock ticking down, counting down the numbered hours we have together before he inevitably carries out his plan. As scary as that is, I think I can do nothing but accept it.
And so, that’s exactly what I do.
Wrapping my arms around him tenderly, enveloping him in the first hug I’ve ever given him - probably the first hug anyone has given him - I accept our fate, silently hoping it changes somewhere along the lines.
“Ok.“
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cayofdreams · 4 years ago
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Relieving Their Sleepy Stiffy~
~A Mini Fic Collection~
(Feat. Eijirou Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, and Katsuki Bakugou)
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Summary: self-explanatory really
Words: approx. 1k per character; 3.3k total
Rating: 🌊 Explicit, Smut 
Warnings: somnophilia, oral (giving), hand job (giving), humping/grinding, the ruining of clothes with pre-cum 🤪
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Eijirou Kirishima – Stiff Muscle Massage
You and Kirishima had both passed out on the bed after coming back home from an intense workout at the gym. Usually the two of you would make protein smoothies and watch a bit of reality TV but something about that new leg workout really took a toll on you both. You had been asleep for about 30 minutes before waking up next to a still sleeping Kirishima. Tracing your fingers along his bare chest, you admired his well-formed pectoral and ab muscles. He really had to have had the best body of all the previous boyfriends you’d been with.
As you placed your head on his chest, you continued to trace along his stomach, his body subconsciously twitching due to touching him in ticklish areas. Your eyes started to feel heavy again at his peaceful heartbeat before you saw something intriguing through your fuzzy vision. It seemed not everything of Kirishima’s body was sore and drained from the recent workout.
You giggled at him before sliding your body down so your head was now resting on his thigh, right beside his pitched tent. Softly petting over his clothed length, you placed soft kisses on his hips and thigh. His soft grunts egged you on, so you got on your forearms and laid your torso right between his legs. You hovered over his crotch, letting your hot breath warm him underneath.
“Does my baby need a post-workout massage?” You placed pecks over his clothed hardness as your fingers traced him up and down. “I’ll take care of you, Kiri~”. Sucking over his pants, you let your saliva soak through the fabric, causing Kirishima’s cock to grow stiffer by the increasing wetness. You grazed your teeth over him admiring the sleepy whimpers he made from above. Eventually you were able to taste the salty pre-cum seeping through his pants which let you know it was time for the next stage.
You slowly pulled down his pants, stopping whenever it seemed like he was about to wake up. He worked so hard today so you wanted to make sure he was completely relaxed through his oral massage. When you were able to lower his pants enough, his cock sprung free and bounced against his abs, already shining with your saliva and his pre-cum. You took the base of his cock between your thumb and middle finger and glided your tongue up and down his shaft. You made sure he stayed asleep by pausing when his groans got too loud.
Periodically keeping your eyes on his face, you took his tip in your mouth and slithered the bottom of your tongue over his slit. You felt the vein in his cock bulge against your thumb and you let out little moans to create stimulating vibrations. When it seemed his body got used to those movements, you lowered your head letting the tip of his cock graze against the back of your throat. He was a little big but after much practice you were able to take more and more of him in your mouth without gagging. Judging by the moans leaving him, it seemed he appreciated that.
Pretty soon, Kirishima’s cock was smothered in your saliva as you bobbed your head up and down. You swept the hair out of your face, becoming entranced by his throbbing cock and harsh grunts. You tasted more of his pre-cum filling your mouth and the taste made you feel wet underneath your shorts. But you wanted to focus primarily on your tired boyfriend so you left your underwear to collect your horny essences for now. Becoming so entranced with Kirishima’s meaty cock, you didn’t notice him waking up until you felt his hands caressing your head.
“Whatcha doin, babe?” His voice was raspy from his groggy state as he lifted his head to get a better view. His voice seemed to resonate through his cock and you felt the vibrations on your tongue. You popped his cock out of your mouth to which his face twitched at the feeling.
“I’m giving you a post-workout massage.” You licked and sucked at his frenulum. His eyes squinted at the intense pleasure on the area. “Do you feel good?”
Before letting him properly answer, you sunk his cock back in your mouth, letting yourself deep throat him. Constricting your throat muscles, you made sure he could get the same feelings as being inside your tight pussy. If not better. You breathed through your nose as you swallowed his cock to the base, sticking out your tongue so that its tip gently tickled over his balls.
“F-fuck yeah, babe. Feels fucking amazing…” His fingers gripped gently at your hair as he savored in your athletic tongue. “Please don’t stop. Fuck!”
Popping him out of your mouth again, you made spit bubbles on his cock as you looked up at his flustered face. “Don’t worry, baby. Just relax and focus on feeling good, okay?”  
He simply nodded as he let his head plop back onto the bed. He felt your pools of saliva drip onto his tip before you slurped it back into your mouth. The wet sounds you were making brought him closer to the edge. “Shit Y/N, m-move your head. I’m gonna cum!”
Still working your tongue on him, you slurpily replied. “Jush leh it ouh, babe~ I can chake it.” You sucked vivaciously at the upper end of his shaft, while your hand messily stroked the bottom. The copious amount of saliva flung over his thighs as you jerked him. “I wann yor cumm, baby~”
“Fuck!” Kirishima cursed as wads of his cum spurt down your throat. His grip on your hair tightened as you kept sucking the cum out of him. You didn’t swallow it, instead slurping it around his head creating more wet stimulations for him. “Shit, Y/N! Oh my god…”
Slipping his cock form your mouth after he was done, you lifted your head so he could see you swish his cum with the saliva in your mouth. Almost as if you were savoring it like a sweet wine. You made a loud gulp as you slowly swallowed all of it, looking lustfully into his eyes. “Mmm~ so thick, Eiji.”
Kirishima could’ve came again from the little show you just performed. He licked his lips as he grabbed at your arms, pulling you forward so he could now grip at your thighs. 
“I think its only right for me, as a man, to return the favor. Come sit on my tongue, babe.”
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Denki Kaminari – Mutual Study Break
You were helping Kaminari with his studying in your room, going over his last exam trying to help him better understand the questions he got wrong. It was a bit taxing because at first you didn’t know how to explain certain things, but eventually you were able to break down the question in a way that made it more understandable. In a way, helping him helped you as well since having to explain a complex problem to someone really tests your own knowledge of the material. After about an hour or so, it seemed Kaminari was growing tired of looking at the exam material and he plopped his head down on the coffee table.
“Y/N~ I need a break.” He let out with an exhausted sigh, closing his eyes. He looked kind of cute being so sleepy after a nice study session but you were determined to help him improve.
“C’mon Denki, I really want you to learn this.” Stroking your finger along his cheek, you heard a faint grumble at your request.
“Please~ just 10 minutes, I swear.”
Before you could even reply you heard a soft snore purring from him and you couldn’t help but just give in to his adorableness. You leaned down to his lips and gave them a small kiss.
“Only because you’re cute, okay.” You softly whispered, making sure your voice didn’t disturb his nap. Pleased with his sleeping face, you pulled out your phone and started scrolling through social media.
As you caught up on various hero topics, you lost track of time and realized it had been 30 minutes since you let Kaminari rest his tired brain. Gently rubbing your hand along his back, you tried to wake him up.
“Denki, wake up. There’s only a little bit left to go.”
“Hnnggh…” His eyebrows twitched at your voice but he was still sound asleep. You decided to lean down into his ear and whisper to him.
“Denk- heh?” That’s when you noticed his reddened cheeks and strained facial expression. You thought he might be sick, so you placed your hand on his forehead to check if his body temperature was warmer than normal. It seemed fine though, but you were still a bit concerned. Until you heard him whimpering your name in his sleep.
“Haahnn~ Y/N- feels so good…”
It didn’t take you too long to realize that he was having a wet dream- and starring you no less. It made you kind of happy that your boyfriend was a simp for you asleep just as much as he was when awake. So being the flattered and concerned girlfriend you were, you peeked under the table to see if he were having any other reactions. Unsurprisingly, you saw a nice tent being pitched underneath his jogger pants.
“Aww, Charge Bolt needs de-stressing, huh?” You dipped your hand under the table and rubbed along his clothed erection, smirking at his whiney, but sleepy reply. Kissing along his red cheeks, you placed more pressure on his growing cock and before long you felt the seeping of his pre-cum through his pant fabric. You rubbed it between your fingertips, chuckling at how much he was leaking despite his sleeping state. “No wonder you couldn’t focus, Denki.”
“Y/N~ Inside…” A bit of saliva drooled out of his lips at his whimper and onto his notebook. You wiped it up with your thumb before slipping your hand in his pants, smearing it on his tip with his abundant pre-cum.
“You can’t come inside, baby. You haven’t finished studying.” You continued to press chaste kisses along Kaminari’s face as you stroked up and down his shaft. The increasing amount of pre-cum made you able to stroke at faster and faster paces, allowing you to hear louder and cuter moans leave his sleeping lips.
“Hnnmmgh~ Y/N...”
The lewd adorableness of it all made you slick between the hips yourself, so you spread one of your legs across him and slipped your free hand down your shorts and panties. Flattening your fingers around your pussy lips, you circled around your clit, smearing your juices all over your inner thighs. Eventually you increased your pace to be equivalent to the hand stroking your boyfriend’s cock. “Ahhnn~ Denki, you make me feel good even when you’re sleeping.”
“…Y/N~ gonna cum...” More slobber fell from his lips as his breathing became more labored. His hips started to subconsciously thrust into your hand, trying to chase his dream-filled high. Apparently, his body was too stimulated because you were soon met with his golden irises. “Y/N...Y/N~!” He raised his head and gripped at your arm that was heartedly pumping at his cock. “Oh fuck!”
“Hahh…You had a sleepy boner, babe. You must’ve worked so hard while studying~” You continued to simultaneously jerk and flick with your hands while gazing at Kaminari’s extremely flustered face.
“I-Its because the way you were sitting with those s-shorts on! Your thighs are so gorgeous, Y/N!” He gasped as you lowered your hands to tighten around his base.
“Just my thighs though?” You feigned an innocently upset expression as you held his cock hostage in your hand.
“A-All of you! All of you is gorgeous, Y/N!”
Smiling, you went back to your jerking his cock. “Aww, thank you, babe.” You leaned over to capture him into a kiss, his tongue mindlessly licking around your lips as he focused on his building orgasm. “Gonna cum from my hand?” He nodded eagerly as his grip on your arm tightened.
You leaned your head back as you quickened the motions around your clit, also about to reach an orgasm. “Me too, Denki~”. Kaminari’s cock twitched wildly in your palm and you stroked harder around the head in hopes you both would reach a mutual orgasm. “Oh shit-! D-Denkii!” Your eyes rolled back as your pussy quivered under your hand.
Meanwhile Kaminari’s hot cum was being spilled all over your knuckles. You slowed your pumps on his cock, essentially re-lathering him with his own lubricant. As the two of you regained your breaths, you slipped your hand out of his pants, his cum sticking on all of your fingers. Kaminari laid his head back down on the table, sighing as exhaustion dwelled over him again. You got up to wash your hands in the sink and looked back at your tired boyfriend.
“You ready to try Question #7 again?”
“W-what?!”
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Katsuki Bakugou – In Heat
Bakugou was taking a nap on your bed after a long day at his internship, and it honestly irked you. It seemed like nowadays when he came over all he did was eat or sleep because he was too tired for any other nightly activities. How could he just lay there on your bed with that beautiful face of his and not at least submerge it between your thighs? What was the point of all that stamina if he wasn’t going to share it with you?
You’d make sure to complain about it when he woke up, but he was just too cute to disturb right now. This of course was probably the only time you’d get to bask in the peacefulness of Katsuki Bakugou. You decided to grab your phone and watch a movie as you distracted yourself from your horniness. Everything was going fine until- a sex scene popped up. Just your luck. Deciding to be petty, you turned up the volume to max so that the moans of the actors would wake up your boyfriend and hopefully he’d get a clue.
“Oiii wake up and fuck me, already.” You softly spoke into his direction. He lazily grunted but was still very much asleep. “Stingy.”
You were about to give up when you noticed the moans from the movie did seem to get a reaction out of him, a reaction his sleeping state was not aware of, of course. “Aha! So the bastard does work.”
Turning down the volume so he would now not wake up any further, you spread your leg over his hip so that you were sitting directly on his crotch. You snickered over his sleeping face having rarely had such a domineering stance over him. “Yeahh~ Just stay asleep, Katsu. I’ll have fun by myself.”
You placed your hands on his chest to steady your position and slowly grinded away, stopping briefly when his eyebrows twitched like he was awaking from his slumber. The silky lace of your panties made for a sleeky smooth friction with his soft nylon shorts. The thinness of the material made it so that you could feel the increasing stiffness of his cock between your clothed labia. Your clit was nicely stimulated by the materials that separated the two of you.  
As you felt yourself get more aroused you couldn’t help but notice the pre-cum that started to drool through Bakugou’s shorts and smear onto your own panties. “Katsu~ You’re leaking so much for someone who’s been ignoring their girlfriend for so long. Prick.” Despite your harsh whispers, you leaned down so you were pressed chest to chest with him, softly peppering kisses along his jaw.  
You nuzzled yourself into his neck as you humped with increasing pressure against his cock. No longer caring if he woke up or not you let out soft moans that vibrated against his throat. “Hahh Katsuki, I can feel you throbbing~ You gonna cum?”
“With you humping like a bitch in heat like that? Hell no.” Bakugou’s raspy voice against your eardrums immediately stopped you in your chase of pleasure. You lifted your face and met his eyesight.
“That’s not what your leaky cock says.”
“Me?” Bakugou pushed his hands against your stomach so you’d sit up. Hooking his hand under the wing of your panties, he easily ripped them from your hips. He raised the panties in front of your face so you’d see the gusset that was lush with your juices. “Sweetheart, that’s all you.”
You grabbed your panties away from him before throwing them sharply on the floor. “That was your cock’s leakage seeping through.” Ignoring his rolling eyes, you leaned back down against his chest. “Now can I finish my business in peace, please?”
Bakugou slithered his hands down to your ass, grabbing at the jiggling fat. “Just hurry the fuck up. I’d like to actually do something that feels good at some point.” He grinded your ass further against his now damp shorts, giving your clit an insanely pleasurable amount of friction. But you wanted to feel something smoother so you slipped your hands between your bodies and tugged his shorts down. But only enough for half his cock to peek out from the waistband. You then readjusted your seating so that you could grind directly against his slickened cock.
“I don’t make you feel good, Katsuki?” You teased as you went to press lovingly tender kisses on his cheek and jaw.
“H-Hell no. Look how you’re selfishly humping away right now…how could this shit feel good for me?” Contrary to his verbal expression, Bakugou’s fingers were gripping tightly at your ass, desperately trying to get you to hump him more ruggedly. You could feel the imprints that would be decorated along your faint stretch marks. But two could play that game, so you wrapped your lips around a part of his throat, sucking deeply until the skin bruised. He twinged at the pain but kept his grip on your rear firmly pressed against him. “Who the f-fuck said you could do that, huh?”
“Ahhh~ you haven’t fucked me in so long I had to make sure you were still mine, Katsu.” As you  humped at his cock, you could feel the friction get more slippery as your pussy’s soppiness mixed with Bakugou’s pre-cum. The mess the two of you were making dripped over Bakugou’s hips and onto the bed sheets that lied below. Your clit swelled against his throbbing cock as the both of you became clouded with a looming orgasm.
“Shit- of course you’re mine. You always will be whether you fucking like it or not. Dumbass.” Bakugou’s grunts became more hoarse and his hips grinded up against you. “Fuck! I’m gonna cum. Don’t stop- shit!” As you moaned in reply, Bakugou grasped one hand around your jaw and pulled you into a sloppy kiss. The feeling of his saliva swapping with yours felt almost as lewd as the desperate humping being performed by your hips.
Bakugou’s cock pulsated under your twitching clit as orgasmic waves washed over the both of you. You felt his hot cum seep into your thin pajama top and slicken over your navel.  He didn’t dare release your tongue from his until it felt like every drop had been drained from him, leaving you to whine and pant into his mouth. He softly kneaded at your ass cheek as your grinding slowed from your post-orgasmic, sensitive clit.
Thoroughly satisfied, he let go of your face so your head could drop exhaustingly onto his shoulder. “You’re changing the bed sheets, right? Seeing as how you started this?” He heard nothing but soft snoring in reply and he clicked his tongue.
“So damn spoiled.”
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purrincesskittens · 3 years ago
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Some pure indulgent fluff in my dragons atla universe slightly inspired by @muffinlance Scaled Over writing out how Bato comes into the possession of a little scaly Zuko still but I just had to get this fluff out first. Sorry for tagging you so often muffin you have inspired me to write again and actually finish something for once.
Zuko's scar isn't as bad over his eye it's larger though it covers more of the left side of his face and down his neck and across his shoulder. It's not as bad though it's second to third degree and will scar but not nearly as bad as it looks in canon like this but on a small child
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Bato was drifting between wakefulness and sleep wanting to go back to sleep unsure as to what woke him. His hammock rocked with the ship he was comfortable under his furs and blankets. They were almost home and just in time to beat the late season storm coming their way. He was almost asleep again when the baby in his arms sat up on his chest. After a moment of squirming little hands patted his face gently and cautiously to wake him. Giving a yawn and stretch Bato opened his eyes to look at the little one he held.
"Sorry." The 3 year old little boy whispers so softly Bato wouldn't have heard if he hadn't been holding the little one so close. "What's wrong buddy?" Bato asks as the kid squirmed again. "Umm." The little one grabbed at his front as he squirms in a matter Bato recognizes from Sokka who had just started potty training. "Need to go?" Bato sat up holding the boy to his chest as he did before unburrying them so he could swing his legs out of the hammock and set the boy down.
He knew what woke him now. The boy had been squirming for a while before waking Bato. The child was still very cautious about everything he did which angered Bato. The boy was barely 3 and was surprisingly very good about potty breaks although he did have accidents that caused him to break down in tears. Bato would love to murder the child's father. Not only was the man responsible for the large burn that covered the left side of the child's face and down his neck and shoulder but the man didn't seem to understand children. Didn't want the child to make loud noises and apparently yelled at every little thing the boy did.
Bato wasn't even a father but he was a damn proud uncle to Hakoda's kids and understood children were noisy and messy. He didn't have a high opinion of any servants hired to care for the boy either. None seemed to have had the patience for a young child struggling to be more mature then their age while still being a toddler. Standing up he guided the kid to use the bathroom yawning as he did. The boy finished with only a slight mishap at first not a big deal, he watched Sokka for Hakoda and Kya before he knew this could happen.
The boy looked at him like he expected to be hit or yelled at. "I missed." The boy whispered looking down at his bare feet. "Sorry." Bato had to close his eyes and count to ten silently so as not to show he was upset. Not at the little one but at the man the boy calls father. Kneeling he hugs the tiny thing to him before murmuring reassuringly. "It's okay accidents happen. You'll get better with time." He stood cleaning up the mess and then cleaned the child and himself up, using a clean wet cloth to whipe the boys face after to remove snot and tears.
Scooping him up he nuzzled the child's soft black hair with his nose. "Let's get a snack and then back to bed okay?" He got a nod in response as the little one tucked his head against his neck. Hakoda intercepted them after they had grabbed a few sea prunes yawning as he ruffled the child's hair causing the boy to squeak and hide his face against Bato's skin. "Midnight snack?" He questions his friend nodding to the half eaten prune in the toddlers hand. "Bathrrom visit first then snack as a reward for doing so good now back to bed." Bato explains bouncing the child in his arms gently to reassure him.
"I missed." Came the response from the half asleep bundle in the tribesman's arms. "That's okay Sokka, my son, misses alot too. It happens." The chief reassures the tiny thing who peaks at him with sleepy gold eyes. They eventually got back to bed with Bato settling the toddler in his arms under the furs and blankets.
The next day brought them into colder waters and icebergs appeared. The child stared with wide eyes from his place at the railing of the ship under the watchful eyes of the crew. As they traveled further south the more the ice grew bigger. It was early spring so the waters were barely safe enough to traverse meaning they had to slow down and take it easy. This also meant the icebergs appeared to be closer to the ship. Almost within touching distance it would seem. Or at least it seemed so to a tiny tot who had never seen icebergs before. One second he was standing by the railing, the next he's climbed up on the railing, and the second after that a little black dragon is launching himself across the distance little wings incapable of true flight, beating the air in an attempt at keeping him alight.
The ship lurched and a large blue dragon is grabbing the baby dragon in his teeth scuffing them and hauling them back on board the ship ignoring their whines of protest despite being a limp noodle hanging from Bato's jaws as he settles back in the middle of the deck depositing the little creature in front of them caging him with his claws so the little one can't scamper off.
The rest of the day is spent with a shaky noodle hiding in Bato's parka half because he got scolded for trying to jump off the ship to touch an iceberg half because he was cold. Aake's mutter suggestion about wing breaking had been overheard and the little one was terrified of him now. Bato hadn't liked that suggestion even if Aake wasn't completely serious.
"You need a name boy." Kustaa informs the child as he changes the bandages that cover half the boys face, neck and shoulder. "He has a name." Bato comments as he holds the boy still. "But he hasn't said what it is yet now has he? If he is staying he needs a name. We can't keep calling him boy now can we?" Cool salve is applied to the burn with gentle steady hands. Bato hums in response but thinks on what the healer said.
"If you don't want to tell me your name that's fine but since your starting a new life with us how about a proper water tribe name?" Bato asks the child as he carefully runs a brush through the boys hair. The little one practically purred in his lap as he pulled the brush through his thick black hair. "What do you think of Kanut? It means white polar bear goose." The boy scrunched up his nose and shook his head. "Yeah polar bear goose doesn’t suit you does it? Hmm how about Nanook?"
A little sneeze greeted this suggestion drawing a chuckle from the man. "No? Let's see then something that would suit you." Bato ran the brush once more through the toddlers hair before tying it up in a warriors wolf tail. "I know how about Tulugaq? For your raven hair." This last name earned a bright eye look. "Tulugaq it is then." Bato chuckles wrapping his arms around the newly dubbed Tulugaq giving him a hug.
Kustaa held Tulugaq in his arms as the crew ran around getting the ship ready as they drew closer to the South Pole and their village. Once they docked the ships would be unloaded and sleds packed up with supplies to be distributed among the various tribes and villages that made up the Southern Water Tribe enough to last the tribes to the summer when the traders came. Tulugaq only liked Kustaa and Bato primarily although he was growing used to the chief. Hakoda had been spending time with Bato while the little one hide under Bato's clothes or clung to him.
Bato had been named the boys guardian and new dad in everything but name. It had been agreed upon that if his mother came looking for him and proved to be trust worthy she would be welcomed by the tribe or allowed to take her son, the boys father would never get him back and would never lay another hand on the boy. Finally Bato came over scooping his new son up into his arms. "Welcome to the Southern Water Tribe, Tulugaq."
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justreadingfics · 4 years ago
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Best Gift Ever - an “It’s a Deal” one-shot
Summary: It’s almost time for your first Christmas with Bucky and he really wants you to open his present for you early.  
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Words: 4.5k
Warnings: one-shot part of a complete series’ universe, smut, 18+, masturbation, use of sex toy, dirty talk, praise kink, the characters celebrate Christmas.
A/N: I miss these two too much, so here’s our first one-shot to see what they’re up to these days… and what they’re up to is a surprise to absolutely no one who knows them, lol. You can read it as a stand-alone story, but this is part of the universe of a series of mine (It’s a Deal). I have no words that can thank @callmeluna​, @addikted-2-dopamine​, @gogolucky13​ and @whisperlullaby​ enough for jumping right in to help me when I asked. You all rock. 
Masterlist on my description. 
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 Even with your still half-asleep brain, it is hard to not let the lazy smile curl your lips when you feel the light scratch of his beard brushing your neck before the softness of his mouth touches your cheek. You hum in satisfaction.
“Bucky…” you breathe, stirring as you lay on your stomach, still incapable of opening your eyes at this ungodly hour.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers against your ear, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I just wanted to say goodbye, didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Goodbye?” You whine. The memory of the reason why he is up so early flashes in your mind. Shooting your eyes open, you turn around to meet his beautiful face above yours while he stands by the bed, uniform on, leaning over with his arms straddling you. Stretching, you curl your arms around him and pull him closer. “No goodbyes…” you mumble, kissing his neck.
Bucky sucks in a breath, looking down at your chest – still bare from the activities of no more than a few hours before. He tilts his head to peck your lips. “Have to go, sweetheart…I’ll be home before you know it, definitely before Christmas.”
“No…” Your hold on his neck tightens while you assault his lips, cheeks, and jaw with sleepy kisses. “Too long… want you here.”
“Alright, then,” he says before swiftly jumping on the bed beside you, already starting to push his boots away from one foot with the other.
“What?” You yelp, holding yourself up with your elbows, shooting him a wide eyed look.
“My baby wants me to stay, I’m staying,” he states, in all seriousness while he tosses a boot across the room. “Screw the bad guys.” He then moves towards you, spreading your legs with a knee to accommodate himself while you promptly put your arms around him, even if your stare at him is of pure astonishment.  “Screw Tony Stark, Nick Fury and by all means-“ He starts kissing your neck down your chest, “-screw Captain America, I’m staying here with my love.” Nuzzling your breasts, he punctuates his resolve by capturing a nipple with his mouth.
The warm sensation makes you gasp and you almost give up on saying what you’re about to say, but you keep yourself strong. “No, baby, no…” You chuckle, pulling his face up and almost melting at the love you find plastered there, “Ugh… no, no you have to go… I was just being silly.” You twist your face in a dismissive way. “And I definitely don’t want Captain America bursting through the door again,” you add, remembering how mortified you were the time Steve and Nat caught the two of you right in the act.
“Screw that jerk,” Bucky spits, tipping his chin up before leaning down to kiss you.  
You laugh but the sound turns into a moan as you meet him halfway to the kiss. “You already said that,” you speak when he once again starts the descent in exploring your body with his mouth. You squirm and giggle once he reaches that ticklish spot of yours right by your clavicle, but pull him up again, cupping his cheeks. “You go on that mission, and I’ll be here, watching Alpine and waiting for you, just like we agreed I would do. Ok?”
He pouts at you and you can’t resist to give his lips a quick peck. “And when you come back, safe and sound, world saved and all, I’ll take good care of you, huh?” You raise your hips against his while one of your hands leaves his face in favor to grab a handful of his ass.  
“Sweetheart,” he groans down at you, “This is not helping your case. Like… at all.”
“Go!” You shout, giving his ass a sharp smack
“Oh, wow, ma’am.” He bites his lip. “Haven’t met this dom side of you yet, and damn… we should explore it…”
“Maybe when you get back.” You wink, before urging him to get up, “Come on, babe, you go Avenge the ass out of this world.”
“Alright, alright…” he relents after pecking your lips, and with a smile plastered on his face, he moves to sit up. “Alpine’s routine is on the fridge,” he says, sitting by the end of the bed with his back to you while he works to put his boots on again.
You chuckle from where you remain laying down and stretch your arms again. He had gone over Alpine’s routine a thousand times the previous day. You're staying at his place to watch over her while he’s away, and you have a guess you’re not the only one he’s having a hard time leaving behind.
“Ok,” he stands up and moves to you for another goodbye kiss, “Will you call me if you need anything?” He asks, his face inches from yours.
“Mhm-hmm,” you nod, laziness invading you again and turning your eyelids heavy, “Love you, come back to me soon.”
“I will,” he promises in a whisper and a kiss on your cheek, “Love you too…Oh, and by the way, I left your Christmas present on the nightstand. I sure hope you open it early.”
You register the mischief in his voice, but sleep wins you over. Snuggling into your pillow, you mumble out just an “ok” and fall into slumber again.
~~~
It’s already night time when you step into Bucky’s place again after quickly dropping by in the afternoon to check in on Alpine. Damn you if you leave her alone for a whole day… But it’s been a hectic day at work, and it doesn’t help that you hit the snooze button of your alarm one too many times this morning. 
“Hey, sweet pea.” You lean down to scratch her ear when Alpine greets you by the door with a meow, brushing her head against your calves. You chuckle, remembering the first encounter with the cat—a white ball of fur and anger hissing at you. 
“How was your day, huh? Did you miss dad?” You ask, her eyes closing with delight from the caress on her neck. “I know I did… come here,” you say, standing up and walking towards her food spot.
After changing her water and food, you leave her there, eating contentedly. Then you move towards the bathroom, longing for a long, hot shower to relax a bit, and then, hopefully, try to reach Bucky on the phone.
Within the first few months of finally setting your feelings for each other straight – well, after you finally set your feelings for him straight, because he was there long before you were – your relationship has been like anyone would expect, filled with overwhelming love and…
Sex…
Lots of sex.
All the time.
Everywhere.
You know it has a lot to do with the fact your relationship is still fresh and new, and it doesn’t mean that’s all you two are about. You love him and he loves you. But that’s how you two got together in the first place and how you’ve been primarily expressing the tremendous love you feel for each other. You’ve been attached to him at the hip and every other little part of his body and, boy, do you love it…
This is the first long mission he’s gone on since the two of you got together, and you know it will be especially hard to be away from him after the amazing goodbye night he gave you. Damn… you swear you can still feel it in your bones and every other part of you he’s touched.  
Finishing up your shower, your muscles relaxed, you grab one of Bucky’s shirts from his closet, relishing in the way his smell envelops you when you put it on.
That’s when something on the nightstand catches your attention.
A rectangular pink box with a golden ribbon. Bucky’s gift for you.
The last words he had said to you before he left for the mission resounds in your mind…I sure hope you open it early…
You cock an eyebrow at the package and next thing you know you’re sitting on the bed, untying the ribbon.
What you find inside the unassuming white box kicks the air out of your lungs. The surprised gasp quickly gives place to a large smile, because…Bucky… of course. His Christmas present for you, the first one you’re spending together, is… a rabbit vibrator.
“Hope it keeps you happy while I’m gone. Love you. Bucky.” You read on the card you find inside the box, and your smile widens even more.
You take it out of the black tulle bag to examine your gift further. The baby blue color of it makes you smile and your eyes widen realizing it’s gotta be the girthiest rabbit you’ve ever had the pleasure to see in person… Ah, Bucky… always thinking of your satisfaction, no matter if it’s provided by him or not. He must have figured you would miss him, all of him, that’s why he was so keen on you opening the gift soon.
A thought crosses your mind and makes you bite your lower lip. Just the fact of Bucky hoping you would use the gift twists your core in a very naughty way and you wonder whether you should give it a try right now… Well, he did tell you to open it early, which means he wanted you to use it… you better not disappoint him.
You’re quick on sanitizing it like the manual told you to. You check on Alpine, spotting her taking a nap on the couch, before shutting the door to Bucky’s room and grabbing the lube on the nightstand. You take off your underwear and, wearing just Bucky’s shirt, you sit comfortably on the bed with your back  against the headboard, lube and rabbit in hands.
You take in a deep breath to figure out how to get started. You sure are a bit excited already just by the thought of doing it, and you know the lube would certainly come in handy. However, considering the remarkably thick toy Bucky has chosen, you figure you should prep yourself better before starting. Grabbing your cell phone, you set the lube and the rabbit aside while you search through some porn videos.
Scrolling through some old favorites of yours, you realize it’s been a while since you’ve watched them. Not that it would be a problem with Bucky – like it would have certainly been with your ex, Eddie- but because you just didn’t have the time, always being too lost in each other to need anything else to excite you. After two or three videos, you notice / realize it’s not bringing the same effect they did before… they’re just not enough. You groan in frustration… has Bucky not only ruined any other man for you, but now also porn, too?
Well, if that’s the case, you might as well appeal to the vivid images right there in your mind. And that’s precisely what you do. Tossing the cell phone somewhere in on the bed and closing your eyes while leaning against the headboard, the little private show in your imagination begins.
The first image that flashes in your mind is his head between your legs on the very first night you two got together. The way he lapped and sucked and kissed, feasting on you like you were the most delicious meal he was ever fed. The image of him jerking himself off while eating you out that night twists the knot in your belly.
Your breathing becomes deeper and the knot twists further when you recall that night in some dark alley of the city after getting out of a rooftop bar. The thrill of the possibility of someone spotting you two while his cock was deep inside you makes you gasp again. The way he talked to you, with filthy praises… God… your hand slides down your body to between your open legs. Hot, soft and now perfectly wet… You hum in delight thinking how he would praise you for feeling so good…
With a finger you circle your clit and moan… you do feel good… with Bucky you’ve learned how to appreciate yourself in that way and damn… that’s one of the hottest things ever.
Feeling as ready as you could be, you open your eyes and retract your hand to grab the toy. You position it between your legs, and it makes you shiver when the velvet sensation of it meets your heat. You still need to lube it up, but you’re wet enough to let it slide between your folds. Your other hand flies to grab a handful of the sheets at the feeling and it stumbles against your phone in the way.
You just leave the toy there for a while, allowing the temperatures and textures to get acquainted. The heat flushes up your core and you experiment with the first of many levels of vibrations.
“Oh…” it slips from your lips and your head falls back against the headboard.
You guide the tip of the toy to your clit and push the button to the next level. And then the next…The sensation of Bucky’s tongue on that very same spot invades your senses, “Oh, yes, fuck... Bucky…” you moan loudly.
“Goddammit, baby, what are you up to?”
You scream and jump on the bed, tossing the rabbit away at the sound of your boyfriend's voice. 
“Bucky?” You call, widened eyes at the door, imagining you would see him there.
“Down here, babe.”
You follow his voice to see the cheeky grin on his face through your phone’s screen, which was tossed on the mattress beside you. You must’ve accidentally video called him at some point.
“Fuck…” you say under your breath while you swiftly work on swiping away the thin coat of sweat off your forehead and attempt to fix your hair a bit before grabbing your phone. “H-hey, Bucky.”
“Hey there, sweetheart,” he says, the grin on his face lingering. He’s still in his uniform, but you notice he’s sitting on an armchair in a bedroom. He must have just arrived in their safe house. “I take it you liked my present. It hasn’t even been a full day, yet,” he adds with amusement and, to your mortification, the buzzing of the still vibrating rabbit resounds in the room.
The embarrassment burns your cheeks, and leaves you speechless, but it doesn’t last long, because you know Bucky too well. You know he’s given you this present with your enjoyment in mind, but you do spot a glint of mischievous interest in his eyes.
Oh… you love that man.
“Yeah… I did love it. You have excellent taste.” Embarrassment completely gone, you decide that if he’s going to be cheeky about it, two can play this game. You slowly lick your lips before you give the lower one a long bite. Bucky’s eyes drop immediately to them, “You did say I should open it earlier,” you add, a tad of innocence in your tone.   
His chest heaves… he notices what you’re doing, “Fuck…” he breathes, eyes on your lips, “Damn me for getting in your way...” The camera of his phone is focused on his upper body, but by the position of his arm, you have an idea on where his hand lays now. You gulp down at the mental image of him rubbing himself through his pants, “Do you mind if I watch you, sweetheart?”
You absolutely love that he asks you that in that way, like he’s so eager to watch you but he would hate to be an intruder in your moment, even though all you’re thinking about in this moment is him. You smile when you hear he’s already working on opening his trousers. Definitely a perv, but your perv.
“You’re the one who gave me the gift… You’re more than welcome to join me.” You wink and move to put the cellphone on the phone holder on the nightstand. You position the camera towards you while you sit on the bed in a way that would give him a privileged view of your body.
His hooded gaze is unyieldingly on you as you place your feet on the mattress and open your legs. Widely. He sure enjoys the generous view as his eyes now drop to your exposed pussy and his jaw goes slack.
“Fucking hell, babe,” he barely whispers, his arms moving slowly on himself, “I love my shirt on you, but why don’t you take it off and let me see all of you babe? Show me those tits, will ya?” He nods towards the shirt you have on.
You promptly obey him, pulling it over your head and tossing it aside. The vision of yourself on the phone, completely exposed, makes your cheeks burn and you almost forget the cheeky performance you’ve been putting on so far. But the look he has for you … that look… the one that assures you’re the most beautiful woman in the world keeps you grounded… and hot… so fucking hot. Your fingers move on their own and find your dampened and swollen clit again. Your jaw drops at the sensation of you touching yourself.
Right there on the other side of the screen, Bucky brings his hand to his mouth, and, with his sultry eyes on yours, he draws his tongue out, licks his palm and spits on it before bringing it down again. Fuck… you’re about to come just by that image itself and the touch of your fingers on your pussy. You can’t even see his cock but you know it must look big and hard and damn beautiful in his hand. You gasp while your fingers race up against your clit and you hold yourself by twisting a fist on the sheets.
“Shhhh…. Slow down, babe…” Bucky warns in a restrained groan, “Don’t you have a gift to use?”
At that, your fingers freeze. Catching your breath, you reach for the rabbit. Knowing you’re wet enough to take that toy perfectly, you decide to tease Bucky as you put the length of it in your mouth, giving it a sultry lick before engulfing it with your lips, coating it with your saliva.
“Fuck yeah… suck it, baby, suck it good,” Bucky encourages through a tightened jaw as his arm speeds up on himself.
You twirl your tongue around the toy a few more times before bringing it down. Under his lustful gaze, you slide the rabbit between your folds, sinking it in your wetness before guiding the tip to your clit again and turning the vibration on.
“Oh, Bucky,” your voice is a whisper through the sound of the vibrator buzzing in the room.
“Does that feel good, babe?” Bucky questions and you can tell he’s slowing down his rhythm to prolong his own pleasure
“Oh, yeah… so good,” you moan.
“Then take it, sweetheart, take it good and let me see you. You’re so damn beautiful,” he coos, knowing exactly what a sucker you are for a few praises.
Your cunt clenches at his words and you guide the toy to your entrance. There’s a bit of a sting that hits your senses once you push the tip inside. Your jaw drops as you push it further. The length and girth are almost a challenge, but a delicious one that you’re willing to take.
“That’s it… so fucking sexy…”
With Bucky’s praise you let out a languid and loud moan, having the whole length of the toy deep inside you. Your other hand twists the fabric of the sheet and your head falls back.
Eager and dripping wet, you start pumping in and out, not slowly, not gently, as the knot inside you gets tighter and tighter, longing for a release. The vibrating little rabbit hits your clit every time you push in, and your vision becomes glossy and blurry, your mind lost in the pleasure you’re giving yourself under Bucky’s eyes.
“Baby that feels so good,“ you tell him, not caring about the sloppy sounds of your wetness, knowing that, if he can hear them, he’s losing his fucking mind right now.
“Shit… fuck… I’m so fucking lucky… look at that… look at you… fucking yourself so hard like that,” Bucky speaks in a raspy voice and between heavy breaths, jerking himself in a hasty pace, “God I miss that pussy so much already.”
“Fucking shitballs,” you choke, clenching around the toy. You have your eyes shut so you don’t see it, but you do hear the heavy chuckle Bucky lets out at your favorite curse.
More than willing to put on a show for him – and for your own pleasure, since you have a thing for that position - you remove the toy from you just quick enough to turn on all fours.  
“Oh shit…baby, you’re killing me here with that sexy ass of yours,” Bucky’s voice is a raspy sound from behind you, “You love that, don’t you? You love when I take you from behind, my cock deep in that sweet pussy... fuck.”
You look over your shoulder to spot his arm moving frantically, hypnotized by the vision of you. Hooded eyes focus on your ass as you pump the toy in and out of your pussy from behind. You glance at your own image, too and fuck, yeah, you do look exposed and sexy as hell.
Your eyes shut and your cheek meets the mattress.  You quicken your pace, letting yourself be guided by the increasing spark in your core. … you’re there. You’re almost there.
“Ride it… ride it good baby,” he groans through heavy breathing.
“Fuck… I’m gonna cum.” You pant and, for a moment, you forget all about putting on a show for Bucky. Your mind and body focus solely on fucking yourself, on the toy in your cunt… the thickness of it…the slide through your wetness… the sweet vibrations on your clit…
Your legs start shaking and you let out a loud moan when the tightening pleasure in your core breaks into a powerful orgasm. Your body moves in waves with the sparks of sheer pleasure washing over every little part of you, making your mind nothing but a fog.
With a relieved cry, you let yourself fall flat on the mattress, but still hold the toy inside you, allowing the vibrations on your clit until it’s too much. You yelp as you pull it out and toss it aside. Still trying to catch your breath and your senses, you turn on your side and reach over to grab the phone from the holder and bring it close to your face as you support your head on your straightened arm.
You could come all over again just by the image of Bucky there, face red and sweating, jaw clenched, and arm moving frantically on himself.
“Goddammit, goddammit,” he growls.
In your blissful state, you smirk. You know him too well to know he’s holding himself back, which means the sensation is just too good for him to easily let go, “Let me see…” you whisper before biting your lip.
Bucky promptly moves the camera down to his cock. Big and hard and pulsing in his flesh hand. You draw blood out of your lips at the sight, and can’t help but to press your thighs together to scratch the itch growing back between your legs.
The tingle in your pussy only sprouts once Bucky moans out his finish. and You watch the big spurts of come spilling down his hand and clothed belly, making a mess of his uniform. Pressing your thighs tighter, another orgasm hits you and takes your breath away all over again, prompted by the filthy vision of him and the eager still lodged between your legs. A small, yet greatly satisfying orgasm as you watch your boyfriend come all over himself through the phone screen.
“Shit… that was something… Best gift ever…” Bucky declares when you two manage to breathe properly and his camera is now back to his grinning face.
Your head falls back as you laugh. “I’m glad you liked it, but I thought the present was for me?” You cock an eyebrow at him.
“It is, but I know you’re generous enough to include me sometimes. Aren’t you, beautiful?” He winks that mischievous wink of his.
“I’m sure we can figure something out,” you answer, the smile never leaving your face or his, before turning to lay on your back, holding the phone up as you rest your head on his pillow, “So, how was your day?”.  
Bucky shrugs, “Same old same old, bad guys being assholes, Avengers being awesome… and my hot as fuck girlfriend at the end of the day to make it all worth it.”
The fondness in his voice and face, a complete contrast to him calling you “hot as fuck”, makes your heart jump funny and you can’t help but giggle. It turns out Bucky is, not just a real Sex God, but also the sappiest and sweetest man on earth. A combination that makes him almost irresistible… damn… who are you kidding? There’s is no  “almost”. He’s thoroughly and deliciously irresistible. 
“How’s Alpine?” He then asks, laying back on the chair and placing an arm comfortably behind his head. 
“She’s great. I think she didn’t even notice you’re gone.”  
Hurt falls upon his face as he aims a kicked puppy look at you.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you’re quick to add with a chuckle, “The cat is miserable”, you lie. Now that Alpine has warmed up to you, she’s very comfortable and happy in your presence, even in Bucky’s absence. So when you see the pout on his face, you decide it’s enough for you to not break that man’s heart, which is as soft as cotton, you’ve come to learn. “Come back to her soon, will ya?” As relief shows on his face, you plead, not talking solely about Alpine anymore. It’s been a day and you already miss him like crazy.  
“I will,” he answers with a smile and a meaningful look, before the mischief is back again, “So tell me, how did you prep yourself to try out my present? Just by thinking of me?” The cockiness is obvious in his voice.
“Yeah, actually…” You see no point in hiding that from him, “But don’t get too cocky…” You point a warning finger, “I couldn’t find any good porn.”
Bucky’s laugh lights up the room even miles away and through a tiny screen.  “Well, well, that’s too bad,” he says, nonchalantly, “Maybe we should make our own for next time, then.” He bites his lip and wiggles his eyebrows.
You register the wicked promise in his words and smile, as cheekily as he does.  
You’re so here for that.
 ~~~
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cqlfeels · 3 years ago
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@lansplaining encouraged me to finish this random meta nobody asked for, so let's talk about Meng Yao, Meng Shi, and 孟母三遷 (mèng mǔ sān qiān), a proverb about good parenting.
A warning: this is super long (even for me!) and is less quality meta and more my ADHD brain jumping around a maze of loosely related ideas. Proceed with caution!
Let me start by briefly going through why I decided to write this, because it’s important. In haunting Meng Shi’s tag in my starvation for Meng Shi content, I’ve multiple times come across the idea that Meng Shi pushed Meng Yao too hard, that she should’ve been more careful with teaching him to seek his father’s approval at any cost, and that she was too naïve. I’ve never reblogged this kind of post because 1) I personally think it’s rude to go out of your way to ramble about how much you disagree with someone on their own post and 2) if this was an isolated incident I wouldn't care either way, so I didn’t want to direct this rant at anyone in particular. It’s more to do with a tendency, primarily (as far as I can tell) from fans who haven’t had much contact with Chinese culture, to oversimplify Meng Shi and make her relationship with Meng Yao slightly disturbing, and I think part of it is due to CQL basically cutting out her entire storyline (so fans simply don’t have info about her to assess her fairly) and part is due to misunderstanding what a good parent is supposed to act like in the context of Ancient China.
[Of course, Ancient China is not a very useful historical concept, not any more than “ye olde Europe” - things change a lot based on time and place - but you know. It’s fantasy. Extremely broad trends are okay in this case.]
Anyway, the idea behind the posts I mentioned is, basically, that Meng Shi (usually through no fault of her own) is to blame for Meng Yao’s obsession with power, since his desire for approval was inherited from lessons she taught him. Just to start with, I’d argue that Meng Yao isn’t power-hungry as much as he craves security and respect, but that’s a different meta. Let’s assume that she really did teach him to be Like That. Was she wrong to do so? I’m not looking for “does that make for a happy, well-adjusted childhood?” or “would you raise your own son as Meng Shi did?” - I’m trying to figure out, would she have been considered a bad mother in the context of the society she lived in? I don’t think she would’ve.
It is surprisingly hard to find texts about the obligations of parents in Ancient China. Their main obligation is to raise filial children, but I feel like that’s not very useful: whether or not parents are good parents, children are expected to be filial, so a child being filial really says more about the child than about the parent. Maybe the parent completely missed the mark and society at large was what taught the child to be filial!
We can assume, of course, that parents were to raise good people, and that by learning what a good person looked like, we could figure out whether the parent was successful, but once again, I feel like that’s pinning things on the outcome, not on the process - the best of parents can end up with an awful kid and vice versa.
While thinking about all this, it took me a frankly embarrassing amount of time to remember the story of Mother Meng and Meng Zi, but once I did, it wouldn’t leave my mind - in part because the Meng here is the exact same Meng of Meng Shi and Meng Yao (yay! fun if useless parallel!), and in part because this is a story about how a woman can successfully raise a son by herself.
Okay, so important note: one of the most influential ancient Chinese thinkers is Meng Zi (孟子 Mèng Zǐ), who is known in the West as Mencius. If you've never heard of him - he's perhaps second in importance only to Confucius. When Mencius was still a young child, his father died, so he was raised by his mother, who is usually known only as Mother Meng (in Chinese, 孟母 Mèng Mǔ.)
Mother Meng's story is told in Biographies of Exemplary Women (列女傳 Liènǚ Zhuàn), which for around 2000 years beginning around the 18th century BCE, was the most commonly used book used to educate women. The book is divided into sections, each one showing a different way women could be honorable and good. Mother Meng's story is told in the Maternal Models section (母儀傳 Mǔ Yí Zhuàn.) The story has a few parts, some of which I'll quote, always from Kinney's 2014 translation.
Before I go on to quote it, though, I'd like to establish that Mother Meng's story is so, so famous that even if Meng Shi had never read this particular book, I'm almost certain she would've been familiar with at least the outlines of Mother Meng's story. I'm not cherry picking a suitable chapter from the book, I'm literally going with the most famous story in it because Meng Shi would be most likely to know this one if she knew no other story.
Okay, the first part of the tale takes place when Mencius is a young boy and Mother Meng is a widow raising him.
The mother of Meng Ke of Zou [a different name for Mencius] was called Mother Meng. She lived near a graveyard. During Mencius’ youth, he enjoyed playing among the tombs, romping about pretending to prepare the ground for burials. Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son.” She therefore moved away and settled beside the marketplace. But there he liked to play at displaying and selling wares like a merchant. Again Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son,” and once more left and settled beside a school. There, however, he played at setting out sacrificial vessels, bowing, yielding, entering, and withdrawing. His mother said, “This, indeed, is where I can raise my son!” and settled there. When Mencius grew up, he studied the Six Arts, and finally became known as a great classicist. A man of discernment would say, “Mother Meng was good at gradual transformation.”
According to the translator's footnote, "gradual transformation" is "a childrearing technique, whereby a child is morally formed through daily exposure to correct models of behavior."
From this story comes the proverb 孟母三遷 (Mèng Mǔ sān qiān) - "Mother Meng moved three times." It's come to mean that a parent - especially the mother of a male child - should spare no efforts to provide an environment that will give their child a good education, paying particular attention to what models are surrounding them.
I'm sure I don't need to say if Meng Shi was at all familiar with this proverb (and she would probably be), she must have been very stressed out over literally raising her son in a brothel. (Here I must mention sex workers in ancient China were often essentially owned by the brothels, so literally "moving three times" wasn't really an option for Meng Shi even if she could miraculously pick up another trade.) Meng Shi did however at least try to surround Meng Yao with the accomplishments appropriate for the son of a cultivator:
Xiao-Meng, are you still learning those things lately? [...] The things your mom wants you to learn, things like calligraphy, etiquette, swordsmanship, meditation… How are those things going? [...] His mom’s raising him as a young master of a wealthy family. She taught him how to read and write, bought him all those swordsmanship pamphlets, and even wants to send him to school.
Meng Yao actually talks a little bit about “those swordsmanship pamphlets” in the only time in canon he directly shares memories about this mother:
Lan XiChen, “Your [guqin] skills are also considered quite fine outside of Gusu. Were they taught by your mother?”
Jin GuangYao, “No. I taught myself by watching others. She never taught me such things. She only taught me reading and writing, and bought a handful of expensive sword and cultivation guides for me to practice.”
Lan XiChen seemed surprised, “Sword and cultivation guides?”
Jin GuangYao, “Brother, you haven’t seen them before, have you? Those small booklets sold by the common folk. First jumbled sketches of human figures, then deliberately mystified captions.”
Lan XiChen shook his head, smiling. Jin GuangYao shook his head as well, “All of them are scams, especially to fool women like my mother and ignorant children. You won’t lose anything by practicing them, but you definitely won’t gain anything either.”
He sighed in a rueful way, “But how could my mother have known this? She bought them no matter how expensive they were, saying that if I returned to see my father in the future, I had to see him with as much competence as possible so that I don’t fall behind. All of the money was spent on this.”
See what’s happening? Meng Shi cannot physically take Meng Yao to cultivators, but she spares no efforts in giving him the closest thing she possibly can -- figuratively, we might say she moved three times.
Of course, these booklets don’t work, but as Meng Yao says, how could she have known this? The cultivation world is very closed off - think of how the entire Mo household gathers to see Lan juniors, and how Wei Wuxian mentions once that “Cultivation families, in the eyes of common folk, are like people favored by God, mysterious yet noble.” Not just noble, but mysterious. That tracks, too - I mean, they live in inaccessible households and mostly leave to night hunt or visit each other, neither of which is an activity that would allow commoners to get much more than an occasional glimpse of them.
Now, if Meng Shi doesn’t even know that a pearl for Jin Guangshan was just a trinket, if she doesn’t know even the wealth of a major sect, how can she read booklets and decide whether that’s genuine cultivation or not? All that she sees is a chance for Meng Yao to be surrounded by the ideas and skills of the people she wants him to emulate - cultivators - and therefore she does everything she can to get him that chance. Mother Meng moved three times.
Okay, but maybe the argument is not “Meng Shi shouldn’t have pushed Meng Yao to cultivation” but rather “she should’ve pushed him, just not too hard." To that, I present another tale from Mencius' childhood:
Once, when Mencius was young, he returned home after finishing his lessons and found his mother spinning. She asked him, “How far did you get in your studies today?” Mencius replied, “I’m in about the same place as I was before.” Mother Meng thereupon took up a knife and cut her weaving. Mencius was alarmed and asked her to explain. Mother Meng said, “Your abandoning your study is like my cutting this weaving. A man of discernment studies in order to establish a name and inquires to become broadly knowledgeable. By this means, when he is at rest, he can maintain tranquility and when he is active, he can keep trouble at a distance. If now you abandon your studies, you will not escape a life of menial servitude and will lack the means to keep yourself from misfortune. How is this different from weaving and spinning to eat? If one abandons these tasks midway, how can one clothe one’s husband and child and avoid being perpetually short of food? If a woman abandons that with which she nourishes others and a man is careless about cultivating his virtue, if they don’t become brigands or thieves, then they will end up as slaves or servants.” Mencius was afraid. Morning and evening he studied hard without ceasing. He served Zisi [a great scholar whose grandfather was Confucius] as his teacher and then became one of the most renowned classicists in the world.
Notice that Mother Meng moved three times to ensure Mencius would have the highest of aspirations - to become a scholar. But just aspiration isn’t enough. Not by any means. Now that Mencius is actually studying, Mother Meng is willing to take an extreme action to ensure he's taking it seriously. Mencius doesn't have a father to smooth his path to success. He has to learn that aspiring to greatness isn't enough. He'll have to put in the effort as if his life depended on it. And if he doesn't persist in his hard work, everything he's done thus far will be useless. Sounds like a lesson imparted on young Meng Yao, doesn’t it?
A lot of fandom rage towards Meng Shi would apply to China's Best Mom Contender, Mother Meng. She gives her son big dreams, and teaches him how to go about achieving them in a society where failing is easier than succeeding. Yes, it's fair to say that Meng Shi taught Meng Yao to refuse to settle for anything less than being “Jin Guangshan's son, a respected cultivator.” Yes, it's also fair to say that she probably didn't allow him much time to play like children his age did. But unfortunately, in the world of MDZS, poor children probably wouldn't get to play anyhow, the difference is that they'd usually be working, not studying. Studying is a privilege! It’s a privilege Meng Yao could not afford but was given to him anyway, through his mother’s many sacrifices. We can even say that while she was alive, Meng Shi was trying to ensure Meng Yao would one day have a better life, at the expense of a fun childhood - and that's very Mother Meng of her, whatever our modern Western sensibilities might have to say about that.
Finally, I’d skip other tales (which show Mother Meng and an adult Mencius) and go straight to the poem that ends the Mother Meng section:
The mother of Mencius
Was able to teach, transform, judge, and discriminate.
With skill she selected a place to raise her son,
Prompting him to accord with the great principles.
When her son’s studies did not advance,
She cut her weaving to illustrate her point.
Her son then perfected his virtue;
His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.
I’d like to focus on the last verse - “His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.” All that Mother Meng wanted was for Mencius to not completely ruin his life, but he became great. You can so very easily see a parallel with how Meng Shi hoped Meng Yao would be a cultivator but he became Jin Guangyao, Chief Cultivator, styled Lianfang-zun, one of the Three Venerable, hero of the Sunshot Campaign.
Of course you can say “Jin Guangyao did many Very Wrong Things to get there, though!” Which, sure, okay, fair point. How many and how wrong depends on which canon we're discussing, and your own interpretation, but there’s no version of the story in which Jin Guangyao is 100% an innocent child uwu. But blaming that on Meng Shi is just... straight up weird? I don’t see anyone going “If Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted Wei Wuxian, he’d never have dared become Yiling Laozu!” and that’s pretty much the same logic. Would street kid Wei Wuxian have invented a new type of cultivation if he had never been taken in by the Jiang? Probably not, but raising undead armies is very much not something Jiang Fengmian could’ve predicted. In the same way, how could Meng Shi have predicted that teaching her pre-adolescent son “You are the son of a cultivator, act like one and earn your place in society” would’ve ultimately resulted in innocent deaths? How could she predict “You’re not destined to having the same horrible life I did, you can get something better than this” was a bad thing to teach? I quite honestly don’t know.
Finally, I'd like to point towards a much flimsier evidence that Meng Shi did great as a parent. And that is Meng Yao’s love. Nie Huaisang at some point comments Meng Shi is someone who Meng Yao "cherishes more than his life," and I think his assessment is correct.
Even putting aside the fact he built a whole temple to get his mother to reincarnate into a better life, and even putting aside how he refuses to flee the country without her remains, there's still crystal clear evidence that Meng Shi must've done something right. Because a lifetime of people using his mother to bully him doesn't seem to have made Meng Yao resent her. Had their relationship not have been very strong, odds are he'd feel bitter and/or ashamed of her. That doesn't seem to be the case. He's attached to her even decades after her death.
I want to be very careful with equating mutual affection with good parenting, though. When I was a rather rebellious teenager, my mother (in typical Chinese fashion) used to say that parents and children don't have to love each other as long as they're dutiful to each other, by which she meant that a parent-child relationship isn't informed by warm and fuzzy feelings, but by whether you'd be willing to do anything for each other. Specific to my case, she meant "I don't care if it makes you hate me, you will do as you're told because that's what's best for you." (That may also be the reason why people more familiar with Chinese culture see the Jiang family less as outright abusive and more as #complicated, but that's another meta.)
Whether your kid wants to hug you every time they see you is of no consequence to traditional Chinese thought - raising them to be the best they can is all that matters, because at the end of the day, you won't be around forever, but you can definitely set up your kid's life so that it goes smoothly and virtuously. How that's accomplished varies depending on many factors, but to have the goal be "I want my child to love me" rather than "I want to raise my child right" would've been considered selfish as hell.
So even if all that Meng Shi had given Meng Yao had been stern lessons about the need to go get his birthright, she would've still have been considered a good mother!! In fact, she would've been doing everything she was supposed to do, under extremely difficult conditions! (Remember the importance of environment? That Meng Yao grew up to want to be a cultivator despite having probably never even met one speaks wonders about Meng Shi's childrearing powers!!)
But just based off how over the top Meng Yao's filal dutifulness is, I'd go a step further and say that even as she did the impossible, she was also loving enough to inspire genuine affection. This is complicated because children who have present fathers could expect their mothers to be tender with them. The first century BCE text 禮記 Lǐ Jì or The Classic of Rites says that:
Here now is the affection of a father for his sons - he loves the worthy among them, and places on a lower level those who do not show ability; but that of a mother for them is such, that while she loves the worthy, she pities those who do not show ability - the mother deals with them on the ground of affection and not of showing them honour; the father, on the ground of showing them honour and not of affection.
But when the father figure is lacking for any reason, the mother must abandon her tenderness because someone must guide the child, and without a father, the role falls to the mother. A single or widowed mother had to be very careful to not smother their children with affection and raise useless, spoiled kids, or so it was thought. (The presence of Qingheng-jun and Lan Qiren is why Madame Lan can be so affectionate with the Lan boys, by the way - if she was raising them by herself she would've been expected to be much more practical. AUs where she just gets her kids and runs away could do very cool things with this idea. But I digress!)
Where was I? Oh, okay. Because Meng Yao seems to not just respect, but actively miss her, it seems that Meng Shi somehow managed to deal with her son on the ground of both honor and affection, to paraphrase.
So basically, all things considered, it seems not only would Meng Shi have been considered a great mom (if people could look past her being a prostitute, anyway) but she also went above and beyond the bare minimum. She truly spared no efforts on any front to make sure her son had everything your average gongzi would have - someone to teach him and someone to love him, access to education and confidence in his birthright. That she couldn't actually make him a cultivator, that she couldn't actually raise him in a proper home with no one being cruel to herself or him - that's immaterial. Even Mother Meng couldn't control what her neighbors did, only what she taught her son! The key point is Meng Shi tried. She did everything she could to educate her son right. You couldn't ask more of her, and quite honestly, you should probably be asking less.
Of course we can't err on the other extreme and say she was Perfect. Given MXTX only ever writes flawed characters, we can safely assume that if we'd known more about Meng Shi, we would've seen many flaws. Indeed, just the fact she didn't teach Meng Yao the guqin when he apparently wanted to learn it might point to some conflict we don't know enough to speculate about (maybe she focused too much on cultivation when Meng Yao's interests lay elsewhere? Maybe she wasn't able to sufficiently shelter him and he felt it'd be a burden to ask her to teach him anything? Maybe maybe maybe, go wild with your fics.) Nevertheless, I would never hold a female character to a higher ideal than a male character - if the male cast of MDZS can be a hot mess and still be admirable for what they're trying to do, then so can Meng Shi.
At the end of the day, when I look at Meng Shi - and I've made myself a document with all the references to her in the novel canon so I could easily contemplate her life and character - all I see is a woman every bit as determined and resourceful as her son, willing to do everything it took to raise her little boy into the sophisticated and ambitious man he became.
Finally, here's a fun little parallel that I'm 100% sure was unintentional but I still love. I said Meng Shi couldn't have moved three times. She couldn't, but I think maybe she taught her son he was worth moving three times for. Qinghe Nie. Qishan Wen. Lanling Jin. Isn't that super fun to think about?
Alternatively, tl;dr: Oh My God I Can't Believe We're Blaming Women For The Actions Of Their Adult Children In The Year Of Our Lord 2k21, Meng Shi Was Doing Her Best, Chill!
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headgehug · 3 years ago
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my little "i want you back" review :P
Oh, boy. Big time spoilers and TMI below the cut!
So, I finished the credits, rubbed my face dry, and took my dog on a nice long walk, and pointedly ignored my screenshots folder after seeing the little number indicating how many items had been added during the last two hours. Also, thank you guys for making me feel very much like a media journalist right now– is this what blogging is supposed to be?!
Let me start out by saying that I don’t usually like/watch romcoms, or if I end up watching one, I pay a lot more attention to the side plots than the main one because it generally bores me, it’s cliche, I get major secondhand embarrassment, etc. So, all of my opinions should be taken with a) a grain of salt, because I don’t know what I’m talking about, and b) the knowledge that I’m a huge hypocrite for loving this movie when, if I had been less excited about it, I probably wouldn’t be giving it another thought.
So, acting first? Jenny Slate killed it, oh my god! It felt real, I felt so immersed, everything she did I was like, damn, same girl. I did not realize Manny Jacinto was Jason on The Good Place until I heard his voice, he was so good in this too! He didn’t feel like your basic throwaway comedic relief character, he felt fleshed out, he had his own little growth plotline, I loved it. Did you even do Little Shop of Horrors in high school? Speaking of that– OMG! Jenny doing Suddenly Seymour, well suddenly I need her to be in a remake of that, like, now. Charlie Day, I mean, I can’t tell if I’m being lenient because I like him or too harsh because I like him and want to be objective, and maybe it was just the writing, but some parts didn’t seem too natural, I don’t know. I think I’m being a little too critical actually, he was great I think and his expressions were so good, really nice to have two leads where both draw you in completely. Despite being primarily a comedic actor, he's just got the face and persona for romance, come on. Especially now, he's just such a beautiful, emotional romantic lead. Mwah.
Fashion/costuming next, because this is the best place to sneak it in before the rest of this long ass thought piece. Oh my god! So good! So modern and sleek but also classic and cute and snazzy! I’ll have to do a separate post just about the outfits because honestly I want everyone’s wardrobe from this, like I would wear everything the six main characters wore. Ugh. Gorgeous.
Writing now? I think I will ultimately blame any disappointment I felt with Charlie’s character on the plotline, it was the “funny, upbeat” counterpoint to Emma’s plotline. Made me cringe a little bit but that’s just because watching drunk people be stupid makes me do that. I also don’t really feel the need to point out what parts I didn’t think were all that funny and/or were a little overdone or unnecessary as far as jokes, cause at the end of the day it didn’t bug me that much. I thought Jase was hilarious and his background wheedling combined with Peter hyping himself up to jump really made me laugh. Like I said before, I don’t watch a lot of romcoms, so I don’t have much to compare this to as far as being super basic? I thought it was a cool storyline, it was generally predictable, it made you cry and laugh and hold your breath in all the right spots. I’m particularly fond of the very very end, if not so fond of the very cringe stuff leading up to it, on the boat. Not saying the writing was bad– just that I got maaajor secondhand embarrassment (which is fine, that’s another feeling and feelings are good. Do you remember feelings, Mac?)
Skip this paragraph if you want to know as little about me as possible <3 Oh boy, did this movie make me cry and not just because I’m a sappy fucking romantic! I’ve got those pushing people away so I don’t have to talk to them tendencies that angsty middle schoolers have! I’m at a job where I could easily stay the rest of my career if I so desired and wanted to end up like my manager who gets walked all over for a living! I’m ending a relationship with someone who never pushed me to be better and only shallowly supported me when I got the guts to try to do it on my own (there are other issues with that situation but I’m grossly simplifying it for ~the impact~). So yeah all of those things kind of made me go “Aw, shit, that’s me.” and bawl my eyes out.
(back to generally relatable and not hyper specific analyses!) While Peter just up and abandoning Emma (receptionist solidarity hell yeah girlie) made me want to deck him and made me just sit there in horror for a fair bit of the movie after that, I get it. It is so easy and desirable to fall back into what’s comfortable because it’s what you thought the ideal was, because it’s safe and it’s simple and it’s the known. Even if you know you're hurting other people (and yourself) because of it. So while he really pissed me off for doing that, I think, from a writing standpoint, from a realism standpoint, it made more sense than him going full spontaneous romantic– because whatever growth he had undergone at that point, that’s not the sort of person he is, and that’s okay. That being said, he certainly doesn’t inherently deserve Emma by the end of the movie– absolutely not (yet- he would/will, if he puts in the work, cause neither of them were perfect, so now's their time to grow and be better together), and I was rooting for her big time with getting her own life on track and pursuing her dreams on her own, without desperately running after a partner. But, it is a romantic movie, so I’m super duper happy about the ending, even though it’s a sickly sweet gag inducing cheesy as all hell callback to an earlier part of the movie that made me cringe and feel all warm and happy inside. And I think that’s what this genre is supposed to do, right?! I love that it’s open ended, I love that there’s a million different ways it could go after that, because that’s real life. And because this is fiction and not real life, obviously they work it out and fall madly in love, slowly and messily, and live happily ever after. :P
Anyways, thank you so much if you’ve read this far, let me know all of your comments and responses and senseless ramblings! By the way guys, that leading guy was like really cute… anybody know who he is?
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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years ago
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I'm Okay (Sure)
Prompts: hi there! may i request some loceit angst for the soul? - anon
oh my goodness all your writing is so good!!!! i was wondering if you could write some loceit hurt comfort? preferably with Logan hurting? -anon
Hey I’m back with another print cause the last time I did that I sobbed for 30 minutes and I loved it. Anygay...Can you write a fic where Roman or Logan somehow end up thinking their worth is hinged on their ability to produce good work and what they are able to just take? Then Janus hears them saying they are okay and then tries to help? - anon
Listen lately there have been too many of these prompts that go 'hey *sucker-punch*' SO
We're fine. Everything's fine. Everything is so fine right now. Everything is so fine and good in the way that it's happening.
Read on Ao3
Warnings: none
Pairings: LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR, can be platonic or romantic you decide
Word Count: 2198
There aren’t enough lies in the world to drown out the words that strike into Janus’s head.
I’m okay.
Janus frowns, setting his book down and glaring at the ceiling. As if he can glare the words away from the mouth of who just spoke them. But nothing changes. The curl at the back of his throat doesn’t vanish. The hiss still slides out of his mouth. He sighs and stands, sinking out to go find today’s pretty little liar.
He isn’t surprised when he strides out of the shadows next to a desk brimming with overstuffed notebooks and a box of tissues. He suppresses a sigh as he sees the door and folds his hands patiently. A few moments later, the door opens and Logan steps through, stopping when he sees Janus. Janus raises an eyebrow.
“Janus?” Logan glances over his shoulder. “How can I help you?”
Janus just hisses.
“I don’t know what that means,” Logan sighs, coming in the close the door, “just tell me what you want.”
He hisses again, drawing it out this time.
“Janus, I don’t know why you’re here.”
He sighs. The next hiss has his tongue flicking out through his teeth. Logan winces.
“Come here,” Janus murmurs, holding his hand out, “and I won’t let Patton see me.”
Logan winces again. “Did you hear both of us?”
“Just you,” Janus smirks. “Gotcha.”
“Well played,” Logan mutters, even as he walks across the room. “Now what do you want?”
He raises his eyebrows. “It’s certainly not that I’m concerned that you’re lying about being okay.”
“Janus,” he sighs, “how many times a day do you say the words ‘I’m fine?’ It’s not something to worry about.”
He narrows his eyes. “One of us is called ‘Deceit,’ my dear Logan, and one of us is not.”
“But—“
“Logan,” Janus calls softly, “don’t lie.”
For a moment, he thinks it might work. Then Logan presses his lips together and folds his hands.
“Not saying anything counts as a lie of omission here,” Janus sighs, “work with me.”
Logan says nothing. His gaze drops to a spot on the floor.
“…don’t make me do this,” Janus whispers.
Still nothing.
Oh, Logan, why so stubborn?
“You just came from baking with Patton,” Janus says softly, “there’s still flour on your tie.”
Logan’s face twitches once.
“You promised that you would stay the whole night this time,” he continues, tilting his head slightly, “but you didn’t. You only leave when you’ve given a proper explanation, because you think it’s rude otherwise.”
He starts walking in a slow circle.
“But you didn’t—Patton followed you up here.” He casts a glance at the door. “Which means that you just…left.”
He stops, right behind him, watching the line of his back tense.
“Now, what would send our dear, darling nerd running for cover?”
He doesn’t miss the way Logan tries not to flinch.
“Was it something wrong with the baking? No, no, you’ve left your sleeves rolled a little—“ he reaches out to tap the fabric— “so you left in a hurry.”
“Enough,” comes the very quiet whisper.
“Your collar is still crooked,” Janus continues as he walks, “so you must’ve frozen in the middle of adjusting your tie.”
“Stop.” Still a whisper.
“And you’ve still got ink stains on your hands—“ he points— “which means you’ve not been paying attention for a while. Your focus is elsewhere.”
“Stop it.” Not quite a whisper.
“You were good enough to fool Patton,” Janus says, finishing the circle, “but sloppy. Too sloppy. The quality of your—“
“Stop!”
Logan moves in the blink of an eye, reaching out to shove himself away from Janus but he’s too slow. Janus has him by the forearms before he can react. He trembles in Janus’s hold as two more hands come up to fix the glasses on his nose.
“And,” Janus murmurs, his voice as soft as he can make it as he tilts Logan’s chin up to make sure the glasses are in place, “you’ve let me rile you up like this.”
He takes Logan’s face firmly in his hands.
“What’s the matter, sweetie?”
Logan’s mouth trembles. “It’s nothing.”
“Sweetie…”
“It is,” Logan protests stubbornly, “and that’s the problem.”
Janus frowns, gentling his grip on Logan’s arms and looping them around his neck. “What’s the problem, what’s made you so upset?”
“It’s nothing,” Logan says again, closing his eyes, “and I can’t—they—the problem is not something, it is the absence of something that is causing the issue.”
Janus makes a noise of understanding, letting Logan pull back enough to clean his glasses and straighten his tie. “And what is it that you wanted there to be?”
Logan huffs, still not making eye contact. “Something. Anything. I…it…my work.”
“What about your work?” Janus tips his head up. “Logan, you can talk to me. You don’t have to put all of this on.”
“I know,” he mumbles, “but that’s what I have to do for everyone else.”
“That’s not…” Janus trails off. “Who told you that?”
“What?”
“Who told you that,” he repeats, thing a step closer, “who told you that you have to sit there and take it? To put up the front of nothing hurting you?”
Logan just looks at him. Janus bites back a snarl and tugs Logan in for a proper hug.
“You’re not just Logic, sweetie,” he whispers, rubbing his back, “you’re Logan. And you’re allowed to have feelings.”
Logan’s head bows into Janus’s shoulder and for a moment, he thinks Logan’s going to choke out a sob or at least relax.
Instead, Logan tenses. “No, I can’t.”
And pulls away.
“I have to work,” he insists, already putting the facade back together, piece by piece, “and as such, I must focus. You are correct in pointing out that I have allowed my focus to drift, thus I must get it back. Thank you for correcting my error.”
He motions to the desk.
“Now, if you will excuse me, I’d better get back to work.”
He frowns when Janus is silent.
“Janus? Are you alright?”
Yes. Absolutely. Undeniably. He’s fine.
Because every single word that just came out of Logan’s mouth is fine. It makes complete sense. It implies a perfectly healthy relationship between Logan and his work. It ensures that Logan takes care of himself and that he knows he is supported.
“Logan,” Janus says softly, “I’m going to ask you a question.”
Logan blinks. “Alright.”
“Please don’t lie to me.”
“I believe we have established that we are unable to lie successfully to you.”
That’s never stopped you from trying before.
Janus takes a deep breath. “Do you believe that your value and importance to us is based on the work that you are able to produce?”
Logan frowns. “Isn’t it?”
Janus’s heart breaks.
“Do you think,” he says instead, reaching out to take one of Logan’s hands, “Patton would’ve followed you up here if he were just concerned about your work?”
Logan frowns. “No, but that’s different.”
“Do you think Virgil would make a point of asking you whether or not you’re comfortable at scheduled times throughout movie nights if he were primarily focused on the work you produce?”
“No, but—“
“Do you think Remus,” Janus continues, raising his voice a little, “would sink into your room as often as he does because he wants to make sure you take breaks if he were only thinking about what work you were doing instead of taking a break?”
“N-no.”
“Do you think Roman purposefully takes you on walks in the Imagination, to drag you away from your work, do you think he would do that if he only wanted to spend time with you because of what work you do?”
Logan shakes his head wordlessly, looking away. Janus lets out a soft noise before he reaches out. This time he doesn’t even have to touch Logan’s chin before he looks back.
“Do you think that I would be here with you right now,” he murmurs, “if I didn’t care about you?”
There’s the sob he’s been expecting, choked out behind a hand quickly clapped to his mouth as Janus pulls him back in for a hug. He takes off Logan’s glasses and sets them on the table, crooning softly as he wraps the poor thing up in his arms and takes them to the bed.
“We care about you, sweetie,” he whispers, running his fingers through Logan’s hair, “not your work, you. We care about your work because it’s yours. Don’t forget that.”
Logan tries to pull back and say something only for his tie to get caught between them. Janus shushes him gently and snaps his fingers, changing them both into something softer. He tucks a hand around the back of Logan’s neck and coaxes him to breathe, come on sweetie, it’s alright.
“I don’t know if I can do that,” Logan manages after a moment, wiping his face, “if I can—can believe that. J-just like that.”
“That’s okay, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, “but you try for me, okay?”
Logan still looks unconvinced. Janus raises an eyebrow.
“Would it be easier to hear from everyone else?”
“They wouldn’t say it.”
“…oh, sweetie, let me call them in here and prove you wrong.”
Logan just huffs. “You can try, I guess.”
Janus raises his voice and calls out: “Logan’s upset!”
They barely have time to blink before Remus has sunk right on top of them.
“Hey, Lolo,” he murmurs, voice soft enough to make Logan whimper and Janus chuckle, “you okay? When’s the last time you had a break?”
Virgil appears before Logan can answer, tucking himself behind Remus and tugging slightly at his collar. “Get off, Remus, we don’t know if he’s okay with physical contact right now.”
Remus grumbles but listens, shuffling back to give Logan breathing room. Virgil’s face softens when he sees Logan’s face.
“Hey, L, what’s up? You okay? Bad patch?”
Before Logan can answer, there’s a knock on the door.
“Hello? Can we come in, kiddo?”
“It’s open,” Janus calls, only for Patton and Roman to bustle in, Patton cooing and rushing to take Logan into his arms at the evidence of tears.
“Oh, sweetheart, what’s the matter? I’m right here, it’s okay now, you’ll be alright.”
He hears Virgil mutter something about asking first before his attention turns to Roman. Roman raises an eyebrow at Janus, making his way over and bending down to ask, concerned: “what’s wrong? Did he tell you? Were you here when it started?”
Janus glances back at Logan, only for Logan’s gaze to land on Roman and his eyes widen.
“Hey, hey, Specs,” Roman hushes, raising his hands and doing his best to look non-threatening, “what’s that look for? Are you alright?”
“I’m—I’m sorry,” Logan stammers, “I—I’m not done yet, I can’t—we—I—“
“Oh, Logan, I don’t care about the work—“ yes, Roman— “I’m worried about you. Tell us what’s wrong, let us help.”
Logan hasn’t processed anything past ‘I don’t care about the work,’ it seems, judging by the way his breathing almost stops.
“Y-you…you what?”
As Roman’s head tilts in confusion, Janus speaks up.
“Our dear darling nerd is under the impression that we base his value on the work that he is able to produce,” he says softly, “and not that we care about him.”
Logan’s eyes well up with tears as cries of shock and immediate reassurances fill the room. Patton and Remus, it seems, can’t be held back anymore and all but launch themselves at the poor thing, cuddling him between them like some great teddy bear. Virgil carefully takes Logan’s glasses and passes them to Roman before snuggling in beside Logan’s head. Roman carefully tidies Logan’s desk—and oh, the prince knows exactly how Logan likes his desk organized, does he, how interesting—before nudging Janus’s arm so they both sit on the bed proper.
“Oh,” Logan mumbles, lost underneath the Patton-Remus-Virgil at the other end of the bed, “oh.”
“Yes, sweetie, oh.” Janus chuckles as Logan’s arms come up to shyly hug the others.
“There really are so many self-worth issues around here,” Roman mutters, “aren’t there?”
Janus hums, obliging as Logan reaches out for both of them. “We can help with those, won’t we?”
“Of course.”
Only later, when they’re all about to doze off, still in a pile, does Janus realize that he may not have been able to glare them away, but the lie is completely gone from Logan’s mouth.
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redrobin-detective · 4 years ago
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Side Effects of ghost powers
Hey all! I’m writing a DP fic called Side Effects exploring the physical and later mental/emotional impact of Danny initially getting his ghost powers. As an ICU stepdown nurse for 3 years, I wanted to view Danny’s accident through a slightly more realistic, medical lens. 
Note: I had to fudge a good amount because Danny really should have fucking died and there’s no getting around that.
I do recommend you read the fic first before reading this as there’s some spoilers. Or if you don’t care you can read on. So! The two factors we are looking at regarding the accident are: ecto-contamination secondary to electrocution. 
Electrocution
I was forced to downplay a lot of the severe symptoms of electrocution because, again, a bad enough shock will kill someone. My hand-wavey explanation is simply that the portal didn’t activate at a deadly voltage so he got a good shock but not enough to be fatal. I guess.
Muscle weakness/spasms: intermittent muscle spasms are common from shocks, muscles being activated by electricity and reacting to the lingering impulses. Danny’s is transient but quite annoying for a time. But his muscles are gonna be weak and achy af for days if not weeks after from the massive contractions caused by the shock and the after effects. Sensory issues: lots of things can cause nerve damage, including electrocution so Danny is experiencing some pretty severe neuropathy primarily manifesting with numbness and tingling throughout his body. His entire skin and peripheral nervous system got fried so while its mostly numb it’s also super sensitive for a bit of time causing massive pain and discomfort from your body tingling like a thousand bee stings. It’s worst in the hours after the accident but is something that never quite really goes back to normal both from the electrocution and his ghost half taking over and generally dulling his sense of touch.
Hearing/Vision loss: Like skin/nerves, your sensory organs in your eyes and ears would be affected by such a severe and allover electric shock. Danny has some blurred and occasionally double vision from his eyes not properly receiving/understanding input. Hearing loss is common following electricity given how delicate the inner ear is but I just give Danny some nasty tinnitus (ear ringing) for a bit. This inner ear problem also massively throws off his balance when he’s trying to move post accident. These factors are exacerbated by the ecto-contamination and mostly fade in the days following the accident before going away as his superhuman healing kicks in.
Heart Arrhythmia: an irregular heartbeat caused by the electrical impulses that control basal heartrate not coordinating they they should for a variety of reasons, in this case, massive electric shock. Danny would be somewhat aware of it, its not exactly painful exactly but you can just feel that your heart isn’t beating right. Secondary side effects are dizziness, chest pain, fatigue and shortness of breath. This resolves almost entirely when Danny stabilizes
Cognitive issues: Danny got his brains a little scrambled in addition to his molecules being rearranged. The first third of the story Danny is very clearly NOT thinking straight and Tucker/Sam should not have left him alone. Shocks can cause things like irrational emotional behaviors from hormone release along with memory loss and depression. He constantly waxes and wanes in mood and opinions on what to do in the story and never comes to a true decision that, damn lucky for him, worked out on its own.
Ecto-Contamination
Alright so Danny got massively shocked, sucks right but people live through that all the time. Ecto-contamination is more tricky (not only cause its made up and I had to think about what symptoms it would theoretically produce) but because the effects are more life threatening. It’s also irreversible, once he was contaminated it was only something that could be survived not cured. 
So I theorized that Danny got shocked by the accident and was slowly dying of ecto-contamination and was pretty much clinically dead for a brief moment there, the death was enough for the large quantity of ectoplasm in him to immediately coalesce into a ghost (Phantom). So Danny was mostly dead but not quite, I’ve coded and brought back enough people to know it can be reversed somewhat. Danny becomes Phantom but the sudden stable formation of the ectoplasm into what its supposed to be, a ghost, caused his body to stop fighting the ectoplasm as a foreign invader and become part of the self. His core finished forming in his chest and his body started back up again, his ghost safely nestled in his once again living body as he slowly comes to grips with his actual death experience. 
Nausea/Vomiting: I likened the idea of ecto-contamination to radiation poisoning, something that is essentially the antithesis to life. One of the first symptoms of radiation is n/v which is also why it’s one of the first overt symptoms Danny has. He was heavily electrocuted/irradiated and his body wants to expunge it all. As for the ectoplasm/blood he vomits, that’s the next section. 
Gastrointestinal (GI) Bleed: So I was a little mean here. When one vomits up blood (or in this case ectoplasm/blood mix) it has to come from somewhere and a lot of the times it’s a GI Bleed. These are nasty, they need to be either cauterized or surgically repaired not to mention replenishing the blood lost. Fanon says that ectoplasm is at least mildly corrosive to humans so it is here, as it’s bonding to him, it’s literally eating him very slowly from the inside out which is causing a great deal of his internal pain. It’s not enough to be immediately life threatening but would kill him eventually. He developed some nasty bleeding ulcers in his stomach which let in blood and ectoplasm which were expunged. Danny’s core formed overnight and began healing the damage it had previously been causing but Dan is still gonna be vomiting excess blood/ectoplasm not to mention having black, tarry stools for at least a few days afterwards.
Hypothermia/Tremors: Hypothermia is when the body hits 95F/35C which Danny is just above at the start of the chapter. Danny initially starts shaking really bad (rigors) but as his body temperature cools further his shaking slows and eventually stops, a sure sign that the body is rapidly losing the fight to hypothermia and will likely die soon without immediate intervention. This is caused not only by the ectoplasm but his ice core shakily starting to form inside of him. Once he fully turns half ghost his hypothermia doesn’t change but it just no longer negatively affects him (I say Danny hovers naturally around 96-95F/35-33C getting much colder as Phantom at baseline. His body still can be damaged by going too cold but that’s a whole other post.) 
Incoherency/Hallucinations: I mentioned in the electrocution section that Danny is more than a little addled and the contamination didn’t help in that regard. Not only is he not thinking clearly but he’s also getting a little delirious and seeing things. Common hallucinations I see are: someone in the room watching you, things crawling on the walls, creeping shadows, you’re in the wrong place. I think its a solid 50/50 as far as Danny straight up hallucinating but also becoming more aware of natural ectoplasm that hangs around in the atmosphere. (And before anyone asks, yes Clockwork did come and visit, Danny just doesn’t remember)
Pain: Being electrocuted, irradiated, being dissolved slowly on the inside is enough to cause massive amounts of pain. Danny is 14, he doesn’t understand true pain and probably underestimated how much it would hurt. Once it got bad, it was almost paralyzing so it got to the point where even when he wanted to call for help, he couldn’t move or think past the horrible pain of his every molecule slowly dying and rearranging itself.
Weakness/Fatigue: I don’t really have anything much to add for this section that hasn’t been said in the others. Just the combination of all of the above meant Danny is so incredibly weak and fatigued, this will be problematic in the days and weeks following the accident as his body heals from the stress put on it. Poor boy was probably just getting past the worst of his symptoms by the time of the Lunch lady attack one month in.
Ghost instinct: Going off the medical rant for a minute to go into another aspect of the contamination present in the story, the idea of ectoplasm adding inherent ghostiness to Danny. Its common fanon that all ghosts (through ectoplasm) have their own unique code and language that is just omnipresent and instinctive. Such a massive, body altering dose of ectoplasm saw those things start to leech into Danny even before he became half ghost. The biggest is his fear of being seen, majority of ghosts are completely invisible and don’t want to be seen by the living. As Danny’s suffering and literally dying, he can’t bring himself to confess to his loved ones for very understandable reasons but also this ghostly instinct in the back of his head telling him to hide and get away. Other instincts are a strong attraction to the portal/Ghost Zone, lowkey being able to sense living people around him and a bit of an emotional dampener when Phantom. 
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rivalsforlife · 3 years ago
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have u seen the aai musical? i dont think that one has subtitles but it being the only piece of media in the entire ace attorney franchise that wholeheartedly attempted to give edgeworth a female love interest is bold imo
ohhh the aai musical. if you can call it that. the greatest insult to aai2 and gregory edgeworth I've seen in my life. I did actually find out recently after MUCH digging that it actually does have subtitles, and it's been there for over a year, although it is the subtitle file on its own and not timed to the video you'll be able to find somewhat easily (you can find the subtitles here) - since the person who did the translation and subtitling specifically requested it not be uploaded onto a public video I've kept quiet about it until now, so like... honor system for whoever's reading this to not go against their wishes, that would be extremely rude. I basically opened the subtitle file in notepad and read that side by side with the musical and it's. hm. something.
(And since I'm weirdly obsessed with the musicals I also modified the subtitles a bit to clean it up a bit (some grammatical things, modifying the names in places to make them fit the characters better like having Larry call him "Edgey" instead of "Edgeworth", and changed some of the repeated songs to match the other two translated ones) and THEN timed my new script to the copy of the musical I could find. I don't want to upload this subtitle file because idk what the original subtitler's thoughts on that are and I'm too scared to ask, but. all this is to say I have watched a subtitled version of this musical. I MAY be persuaded to give a link to the script I wrote out for people to watch side by side; I just don't want it to be too easy for someone to take the file and upload it to a public video, which although I don't really have any major moral objections to it because this *never had a dvd release so you can't find it anywhere anyways*, I want to respect the wishes of the person who did all the hard work of translating.)
I'm waiting on the person who did the other two musicals to finish this before I talk about this one since I think it's kinda unfair of me to talk about this version that I have that I refuse to share with anyone? Plus the original subtitler has made it clear that the subtitles may not be the most accurate, and this musical actually deals with some more sensitive subjects (primarily the topic of illegal immigration) where I'd like to be sure of the true meaning before I start commenting on it.
However I WILL give you the rundown of Heterosexual Edgeworth's Greatest Hits:
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^ that's a rose. just to be clear. he takes it out of his pocket and dramatically sniffs it a few times throughout the musical.
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^ he’s known her for all of two minutes
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yeah they're on a cafe date and he says this out loud to her.
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^ he asked her where she learned to dance and she got upset and ran away. The original subtitles said "women are difficult things" so pick your favourite thing for him to say. oh haha edgeworth just doesn't get the woman he's attracted to inexplicably.
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^ this is supposed to be internal narration.
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^after this he says “I won’t forget your warmth” which is. well.
And of course we can't forget our good old friend Corrupt Gregory. Which tumblr won't let me post for some reason because it only wants ten images, which may be for the best. Suffice it to say they changed "A Defense Attorney's Knowledge" into a song about him singing about how all he cares about are not guilty verdicts and the truth can be washed away and sink in the dark or whatever.
I'm very much looking forward to being able to rip apart this one because I'm determined to make my insulting of this one break ten thousand words. Heterosexual Edgeworth deserves no less.
* insert general disclaimer that yes you could read Edgeworth as bi or like comphet or something like that especially considering I made the argument that he's in love with Phoenix in the second musical but You Know What They Were Going For.
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