#just felt all the feelings after watching the festa dinner in full

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

I'm curious what you think about jungkook's apparent eagerness to do solo work at the beginning of chapter 2 when compared with the way he actually seems to have approached chapter 2. When I was watching the documentary, it struck me how early-2022 jungkook seemed eager to start solo work and very ambitious about what to do with it, and it reminded me of the 2022 festa dinner where he seemed like he was one of the members most interested in taking a break from group work (I believe he said something in the realm of 'it's been a long time coming'). None of this is bad and jungkook's been consistent, including when he started releasing his singles and album, about his ambition to do really well. Maybe I'm reading too much eagerness into him, but he seemed ready to go, and was even talking about his predicted album release order at festa 2022, but then the wind must have gone out of his sails a little bit? We know that the songs in golden were given to him mostly towards the end of 2023. I totally support the members using chapter 2 to live more normal lives and take a break, and I even wish some of them had worked less, so this isn't meant to judge him for not going full steam ahead but more wondering whether it was surprising to anyone else. At least to me, it seems like something changed in his mindset, and I'm not sure if it was maybe him realizing that it was more important to him to spend chapter 2 differently, that maybe he didn't have the same type of ambitions he thought he had for solo work, or maybe even just the pressure getting to him early on and causing him to stall out a bit? Do you have any thoughts on it? I know this is mostly speculation, but it just stood out to me when watching the documentary

Sorry for not replying sooner... I'm not watching the documentary so I can't really comment but even without watching it, I've seen clips so I get what you're saying. I agree that during Festa Jungkook seemed - not excited - but relaxed, comfortable with each member temporarily going solo. He didn't seem worried for the fans or the group. Plus, he's always had ideas for his mixtape and he likes challenges. I'm not watching the documentary so I don't have the full context of that clip of him talking about what he wanted to show as a soloist, but seeing the upside to a potentially challenging and scary situation is very Jungkook. Overall, it can be easy to see the positives and get excited about the possibilities of a given situation...

But then life happens, or we realize things aren't as doable as they seemed. Jungkook took an extended break, and when we stop for a while it can be difficult to get back to the swing of things. He knew he was supposed to release an album, but he enjoyed resting. It seems like he chose to rest, maybe because he didn't have a real grasp on what he wanted to do for his album. Jungkook took a break after Left&Right and Dreamers, and it's possible those two successful, though vastly different, songs made him feel pressured to go for a more pop sound since he became a lot more known through them. Maybe actually seeing the members plan their solo activities made him realize he didn't have their motivation? Or maybe the pressure of releasing an album, especially when all the members except V had already done it, got to him? Maybe Jungkook started thinking about his album and became unsure as to what he wanted to do - what kind of music, with what lyrics? I don't know if that extended break was planned from the beginning or if it was a consequence of all the other members going first, and if Jungkook extended his break because he didn't know what he wanted to do (we know Seven is the only reason he went back to work) or if it was always supposed to be that long... During his break, fans were always saying Jungkook looked sad. Maybe he felt a bit lonely, and a bit adrift without the members? Or a bit lost in life? BTS weren't super active in 2022, but the first half was full of possibility while the second half was full of goodbyes.

I don't know, maybe Jungkook had all these expectations, but reality is sadly always different. Jungkook is also very much the type to get super into something and then drop it. Remember when he took his drumsticks everywhere? Does he still even play?

Anyway, I talk too much. Did any of that make sense to you? Your guess is as good as mine.

Thanks for the ask!

[xjoonchildx]

I haven't watched the Festa video myself yet, just been reacting to other people's responses essentially. From what I can gather thus far -- I feel... relieved?? A major reason why I don't actively "stan" any other Korean artist besides BTS is knowing how truly toxic the Korea entertainment industry can be. The horrific working conditions and lack of freedom Korean entertainers are put through. It's not something I can so easily stomach if I think about it for too long. But I couldn't NOT fall in love with these seven amazing men. Ever since I became an official fan, I've had this nagging anxiety the extent of what they might suffer through because of the specific demands that come with the industry. As I'm sure many other ARMY feel. That we've seen glimpses of here and there over the years. Members on oxygen backstage at shows. Members literally collapsing from sheer exhaustion. Members vaguely admitting suffering through eating disorders, anxiety, and depression in relation to their work. And so on.

When their tour was first cancelled I desperately had hoped the group could have taken advantage of an overdue break. To enjoy themselves for once and just live their lives freely. Of course considering the circumstances, it's understandable that didn't really happen... I'm incredibly grateful they seem to be allowed to not only admit their struggles (to an extent) but hopefully have the safe space and time to now unwind and explore their own individuality. If they want to keep performing, keep working on stuff semi separate from the group, more power to them. I just hope they really take the time to put themselves first for a change. As that's what all true ARMY want -- for them to be happy. ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ 

i think you made some really amazing points here, friend.

the first thing i want to say is: please watch the video. i didn't get a chance to watch in full until last night and it was really eye-opening.

they were very honest (surprisingly so) about what they're going through as a group and as individuals. they really took a risk and put their feelings out there and i honestly could not love or respect them more for it.

but that doesn't mean that it wasn't hard to hear how they've been struggling.

there were times in that video where i really wanted to cry -- hearing yoongi talk about how painful it's been to write lyrics and feeling like he had nothing to say, hearing namjoon say they felt disconnected to the music and felt like they lost the mission of BTS, hearing hoseok say this is the best thing for all of them at this time because they all need space to grow as people and artists. it was hard for me, not because it disappointed me as a fan but because these are people i love and admire and i don't want them putting on masks to be what we expect of them and/or being hamsters on a wheel for us. i want to them to be happy and healthy and fulfilled in what they do.

but i understand your relief, too -- because it feels like they voiced out loud what i know many of us were feeling -- that their latest releases were well-written and fun and chart-topping but somehow missing that element that makes them BTS.

namjoon said at the end at he wants BTS to go on forever, but that in order to do that, they have to do this. and i understand him. they are not the same people they were ten years ago and i hope fans will follow them in this new journey that they are calling chapter 2.

at the end of the day, these are insanely talented people who've worked their asses off and have something new to show us and the rest of the world. i'm not going anywhere -- i'm going to support every album drop and MV release and every live show i can.

one last thing and i swear, i'm not trying to get too sappy but --

i discovered new things about myself through becoming an ARMY. i started writing fic and made amazing friends and experienced some of the most fun times with some of the coolest people i'll ever know, people from literally all around the world. if not for BTS, i would never have had these experiences and for that, i will support them now and always.

i hope we get to see new, more complex sides of them in this new music. i hope to have a whole new appreciation for what they do as they bring their individual projects out for us to see. and i hope that one day, just like they've said, we can see them back together in a cohesive unit -- with the drive and passion that brought them together in the first place.

borahae 💜

[jmdbjk]

But my chest is what comes next.

So, Chapter 2 consists of: chests, lots of chests. Bare arms, sleeveless shirts. No more stickers or CG to protect artists’ modesty.  JK’s tattoos full out and proud (God, please hear my prayer: I hope the sleeves fall off of every one of Jungkook’s shirts). Normalizing naked Bangtan. I’m here for that. 

But seriously...that’s not what this post is about.

I am late to the party but you have to admit, it’s been quite the whirlwind following June 13th’s Festa Dinner revelations. And I am sorry to be visiting a topic that’s maybe been talked to death. Sometimes my brain doesn’t let go of things in a timely manner. Sorry! 

I think the release of the crushingly expensive collector’s edition of PROOF triggers me to relive that feeling I had immediately following the dinner.

After processing a few months now I have something to say about the song Yet To Come. 

Still got a lot to learn My life, got a lot to fulfill If you're askin' me why My heart's tellin' you We ain't about it The world's expectations We ain't about it That step of being the best We ain't about it Crowns and flowers, countless trophies We ain't about it Dream and hope, and goin' forward We so about it It's back to square one after making one long turn, back to one

It took me a while to put the song in rotation on my playlists. I could not watch the song’s video very much after the premier. It took me a while to watch the music show performances they did immediately following Festa. I was that heartbroken... I could not make myself watch those music show performances for at least two or three weeks. They still make my heart drop because the expressions on their faces, knowing those were their last moments performing in front of Army for a long time [feels my heart stutter again]. I cannot fathom what the members felt knowing they were stepping away from performing in front of us. 

Now I am ready to talk about this lyric: “back to square one”

I posted a few days ago about hoping BLACKPINK did well with their new comeback and I 100% meant it. I am not a fan of theirs and literally know nothing about their music and from what little I’ve heard and seen, it is not something I really connect with. I’ve seen the fan war crap on Twitter. It is what it is...it’s Twitter after all...and the farce of the VMAs last night was embarrassing. 

But from what I understand, BlackPink was away for a long time and now they are putting out new music, so good for them and their fans. Their fans seem just as rancorous as Army when it comes to our loyalty. Their song skyrocketed on YouTube and was at the top of the iTunes chart until 2-year old Dynamite dethroned it.

My point is, Blackpink’s fans were waiting a long time for this come back. 

Just like we are waiting for the day BTS will come back with new group music.

Another Korean artist whose fan base stuck around: PSY.

We really need to thank PSY because in my mind, as far as the western music market goes, HE is the one who paved the way. HE was the first Korean artist I heard played on mainstream radio with Gangnam Style. He brought Kpop to the world. That’s my opinion because that was MY first exposure to Kpop before I even know what Kpop was.

And then PSY was away for a while being a music industry exec and then he came back with That That with SUGA and that song is a smash and he seems to be very beloved in Korea and even across the world because that song did well and is still doing well.

My point in all this is, it made me start thinking about BTS and the lyrics of Yet To Come. I interpret the song as “we’ll be back at some point in the future, the past was really great but when we come back we know we will be more ourselves and starting from scratch.” 

Now I get it. 

Yes, as far as we know at the time of this post, the military obligation will be something they will complete in whatever way it ends up being whether one at a time or in groups or whatever, and supposedly beginning at the end of this year with Jin. They may be gone away for quite a while. We don’t know.

They are saying in those lyrics that they will have to start from scratch with their more grown selves, their more mature outlooks on life, their statements about whatever it is they want to tackle in their song lyrics. And the ever-present spectre of wondering if their fans will still be around. Back to square one. 

I don’t think they understand that Army are still going to be here just like Blackpink’s and Psy’s fans were for them. There won’t be that much they’ll have build back up in that regard.

Armys, be prepared, we must be strong for however long it takes them to get back and embrace and support everything each individual member gives us/has given us in the meantime as solo work. 

So was it honestly the best? (The best) 'Cause I just wanna see the next ('Cause I just wanna see the next, yeah) Dazzlingly passing Through the memories (Through) so beautifully (Beautifully) Yeah, the past was honestly the best (The best) But my best is what comes next (But my best is what comes next, yeah) We'll be singin' till the morn Heading towards (Towards) the day more like ourselves (Like) You and I, best moment is yet to come

Heading toward the day more like ourselves. I can’t wait. 

A bittersweet feeling lingered because I was expecting a tour or at least a few more concerts this year, but I am also so grateful for all the music, appearances and content we’ve received since. 

Now that we know there will be a super-mega concert in October, the bittersweetness has mostly faded away. Run BTS Special Telepathy episodes also helped sweep that lingering feeling away as well.

If they are so inclined, maybe they will give us more information about what’s in store for their future. We may have another solo album dropped by October or at least know which one is coming next. 

It’s just that the PROOF collector’s edition feels like the heavy vault door from the PROOF concept photos...the vault door closing with a deep and dense resonance. Makes my heart tremble a little however, knowing they had the freedom to take this direction means the world to me. 

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

What do you think of all the “hiatus” wording / mistranslation issue and JK and RM’s messages? It is as if Jimin predicted this would happen and asked that we take their words as they are during the festa 2022 dinner. Do you think this is damage control by the company?

First of all, I've always believed what BTS say. I take it as a fact and I've always been strict about believing them because in the end, what they say is close to the only thing we have, the only way we have of knowing them. Actions, a facial expression, a flinch, can be, and usually are misinterpreted but words... words mean what they mean.

I talked once about how Jimin is really good at anticipating people's reactions and he would post stuff that later you'd go back to and think "oh, I see." A lot of people are having this reaction to what he said about taking their words for what they are and I think it's great that they're going back to what he said because he's always been someone who means everything he says when he's talking to the world.

I didn't want to say what I actually thought about it back then because I said that I didn't want to possibly make people feel bad about it but his birthday live last year is just so sad. If people could go back and watch it again, and take notice of the way he talked about mental health and being in the process of letting go, and how he wanted to be honest but in the end he wasn't. The live he did in August I think, he was in a car on his way to a schedule, he said too that he couldn't go live often because he wasn't happy. Jimin has been letting go for two years now and as dumb as it might sound, his change of social media habits is part of that. Social media is for communicating with fans, with trying to maintain some resemblance of connection or familiarity and at the end of 2019, he just stopped. He tried for a while again in 2020 And then stopped again. He wasn't okay for the longest time, I don't know if he's okay right now either. I've always tried to not speculate too much on their feelings and I never said everything I really thought but I guess it would be okay now.

You don't even have to go too far back to know where they were standing. Even the day the album was released Jimin said that yet to come was meant to be used as a comma in their journey so far. Not a full stop but a comma. It's a pause. A time to breathe, to recover and keep going.

I think they probably knew, the company must've told them "you do this and then we release an official statement". If they aren't on the best of terms with the company right now, they most likely expected something like this. I actually think everything was way too calm the first 12 hours or so. Maybe I didn't check enough army accounts but I seriously thought it would be more chaos. I didn't think the chaos would be brought by hybe itself.

At first, I said this some days ago, I didn't understand why there wasn't an official statement about what will they be doing now. When the Festa dinner kept getting "postponed", I knew. I thought there was probably going to be some talk about the future that's would be hard to digest. After watching it, I understood that there wasn't an official statement because BTS brand has always been centered around two things: ARMY and 7.

The announcement being made that way is about BTS still focusing on the fans and the group. Feelings are a powerful engine. Making the announcement like that, through the dinner talk was a way to reach us. An official statement would've been too serious, too unattached, too distant. It wouldn't have brought closure. The fact that they could talk about their feelings and be honest about their burdens and struggles is also a way to bring closure to the whole thing. If they hadn't done that, there would be too much confusion and despair. As much as people are confused about if they translated the right word, or are trying to ignore the word "hiatus", there are no doubts and questions about everything else that they said. Nobody is asking "why, why would they stop BTS" because they laid it all out in that conversation. People are clinging, like they usually do, to "nuances" and the differences between off-period and hiatus when there really isn't any different between them. Even if the word hiatus hadn't been used, they still said everything else.

I don't know who decided to do it like that, it was probably them to some extent, but I think it shows that they respect the people who have supported the group so far. Yes, I'm sure they also did it because they were scared shitless of the reactions and they wanted to make it clear that they love the fans and how much they think of us because there's always some element of it, it can't be helped. But more than anything, the point of it all was being honest once and for all.

This has been going on for way too long... They're just announcing it now but they haven't been doing BTS stuff for a long time. The concerts in LA and Las Vegas were the final push, and that was it. Hybe hasn't been treating BTS as their priority after dynamite, and the members themselves haven't been "in it" either. There's a reson they didn't go to Korean award shows last year either, they didn't have anything to show or wanted to show. I'm pretty sure they prepared everything for this album (everything being, 3 bad songs) and then they had that really long break, something that was unheard of for BTS because they had already stopped working as BTS. I think they prepared everything and ever since they went back from LA last year they've been working as solo artists. They said they have almost everything ready to start solo activities, and they obviously do; not even a month from now Hobi will be a performing solo artist. The album hadn't even been released and JK was filming a collab MV and changing up his instagram and with it how he presents himself to the world. Until that moment, he had been using instagram casually and as a way to be Jungkook from BTS. He won't be using it like that anymore.

Hybe is messy. I can't say if they expected such drop in their stocks or if they knew this was going to happen but still, what they did can't be excused. They should've foreseen this and decided in anticipation what were they going to say after the group's video was posted. It's just foul to post something like the dinner, to which they knew the content of and then release statements somehow contradicting what the members said. They also never made it clear what BTS activities they would still be doing, they just said run episodes. A company is not going to hold itself up on run episodes.

The reality is exactly what Namjoon said; people don't know who they are as individuals. I'm afraid we don't know either. BTS is something familiar, we know, or we knew how releases worked, what activities they would do for promotions, we knew bon voyage and summer/winter package, memories every year. We knew American award shows, end of the year Korean award shows. We could more or less predict all of that.

Solos activities.. nobody has any idea of how it's all going to develop. Nobody knows if they will fail or they will succeed as solo acts. Or how great will that success be. This wouldn't have happened if people had seen them already but it's all unfamiliar and new and recent. It's no use to cry over spilled milk, they didn't do solo activities before and what's past is past. But it's true that things wouldn't have sounded so terminal (for fans and for investors) if anyone had any idea of what to expect of them as solo artists.

It is a hiatus. It's a pause of BTS as we know it. Time passes, and life moves forward, it's only logical that things would shift to accommodate time. I wouldn't count on it being over so soon, either. I think it's going to take from 3 to 5 years minimum. I'm saying just so you all won't hold your breath for something that it's frankly going to take a while to go back to what it was or to something similar to what it was. They changed so much as people in these 9 years and I know they will change even more now that they actually have the chance and freedom to know themselves better. Just be prepared for anything.

As for my feelings, I knew this was going to happen since 2020. Ive talked before how they were already talking as if things were coming to an end back then.

Still, yes. I'm devastated. I've actually been crying everyday for like the past 10 days and I cried a lot yesterday and today even more. I am of course going to keep up with all of them if only because I'm nosy but also because I think there will always be a part of me that hoped things would get better before they ended like this, and I didn't get that. And because I can't just let go of all the past five years in a few weeks.

[escapewithbts]

Take Care, Always - Hoseok

This is soooo fluffy, like teeth rotting fluff :)

———————————-

Yet another coughing fit escaped from your lungs before you curled further into the depths of your couch, wishing the cushions would just swallow you whole.

You hated being sick. So until this pesky cold was through, on the couch you would stay, away from the world, away from all other people.

Or so you thought.

You suddenly heard a knock come from the front door of your small apartment. You groaned. Who on earth would be coming to see you while in a state like this?

You swung the blankets off your aching body and stood up slowly as to not feel too dizzy, then you ambled over to the door.

When you peered through the peephole you saw your friend standing there, a brown paper bag in his hand.

“(Y/n)-ah,” you heard him call, his voice muffled from the door between you two, “I know you’re in there. Please let me in.”

You sighed.

“But Hobi, I’m sick...” you replied, voice deeper than usual and full of congestion, letting out a cough to help your point.

“I know silly goose. That’s why I’m here.”

You watched him shuffle impatiently. You wanted to let him in, but you would feel horrible if he fell ill because of you, and in just your year or so of friendship he had never seen you like this.

“But Hoseok I’m also so... gross and ugly right now,” you complained, leaning your body against the cold door.

You heard him scoff.

“You’re always beautiful, don’t even give me that,” that made you smile and a blush creep up on your cheeks, “Just let me in, pleeease!” he begged in a sing-song voice.

You sighed and stood up straight. Then you combed your fingers through your hair quickly before complying with his request and opening the door.

When he saw you a small smile appeared on his face that he attempted to hide by quickly changing it into a frown.

“Ahhh don’t look at me like that!” You whined, hiding your embarrassed but smiling face in your hands and turning back toward the couch.

Hoseok shut the door behind him and followed.

“Like what?” he asked innocently, unable to hide his big heart shaped grin behind his hand.

You sat back on the couch and curled your legs underneath you, wrapping yourself back up in the blanket like a burrito so only your face was peering out. Hoseok sat at the other end and placed the things he brought on the floor.

“Like I’m the most hideous and pathetic looking person you’ve ever seen!”

You dramatically threw your face against the back couch cushion.

Hoseok let out a high pitched laugh and you felt his hand rest on your knee.

“You are neither of those things. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you cuter than you are right now.”

Hoseok often called you cute, it was just his nature, but still every time it made you blush and feel giddy.

Though you looked back up at him in doubt.

“You’re so full of shit, Hobi.”

He shook his head.

“Nope, I’m not. Also,” he reached into one of the bags and pulled out some containers, “I had my father make you some seaweed soup. We had it all the time growing up. And then my mother insisted on making dumplings to go with it, so I have those, too,” he paused, “want me to heat them up for you?”

You cocked your head at him.

“Don’t you have, like, a shoot or dance practice or interview to be at?”

He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head, giving you a warm dimpled smile.

“My only job today is to take care of you.”

You brought your knees to your chest.

“But what if I get you sick?” you questioned worriedly.

He stood up.

“Aiisshh I’m not worried about that. I never get sick,” he walked into the adjoining kitchen and opened the microwave, “and after this soup and a bit more rest you won’t be either.”

He nodded his head triumphantly, his yellow bangs bouncing against his forehead.

You had to admit, the soup felt amazing against your sore throat, and the warmth spreading through your body was an instant comfort. When you finished, Hoseok took your bowl, washed it in the sink, refilled your glass of water and came back over to your laying form on the couch. He gently lifted your legs and took a seat, letting them rest across his lap.

“Mmmm I feel sleepy, Hobi-ah...” you mumbled from the pillow.

You felt him rub yours legs before responding, “Good, get more rest. I’ll be here.”

You weren’t sure how long you were out before you awoke to the feeling of being lifted and cradled in strong arms. Your eyes fluttered open, noticing there was no longer any light pouring in from the windows. Then you looked up and was met with the outline of Hoseok’s strong jaw and dark eyes above you.

“Hobaaa...” you murmured in a half asleep daze making him glance down at you, “where are you taking me?”

He smiled down at you.

“To your bedroom where you can get proper sleep,” he replied.

You mumbled a sound of approval and nuzzled your face further into his strong upper arm.

Then he laid you down softly on your bed and pulled the covers down for you to climb into. After spending the past couple days on the couch only, the comfort of your mattress was a much welcomed feeling.

You suddenly felt Hoseok move a piece of your hair out of your face and instinctively leaned into his touch. You opened your eyes to find him smiling down at you.

“Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be just in the other room, okay?”

He started to walk away but you reached out and grabbed his hand making him look back at you.

“Nooooo, Hobi… Please stay with me.” You whined, patting the large empty space of your double bed behind you.

“Are-Are you sure?” he scratched the back of his head, “I don’t want to disturb you.”

You nodded against the pillow and moaned out,

“Mmhmmm.”

You heard him stroll over to the other side of the bed and felt his weight dip beside you. A small sigh escaped from his lips and you allowed your heavy eyelids to close again. You liked him being close to you.

“Thank you for coming to take care of me, Hoseok,” you murmured lowly.

“Of course,” he responded quietly, “I just want you better.”

“And I want to take care of you,” you told him, your brain already beginning to drift off to dreamland.

You heard him chuckle.

“But I am not sick.”

“I know,” you mumbled, “I just mean always. Like, I don’t know, if you had a bad day or you want a home cooked meal or you need to be held for a while. I want to be there for you... you know?”

He didn’t reply right away and you had pretty much fallen back asleep completely until he finally said, “Go to sleep, (y/n)-ah, I’ll see you in the morning.”

The sunlight poured in from your bedroom windows making you squint your eyes upon opening them. The only sound in the room was that of the birds chirping outside; that is until you heard a loud sneeze come from behind you making you jump. You turned onto your other side and was met with the puffy face and shirtless body of Jung Hoseok laying next to you.

“Ohhhh shit,” he groaned when he noticed you were awake. He rubbed his eyes with his palms and looked back at you , “I feel like shit.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Hobiiii-ah, this is why I told you not to come!”

He sneezed again and then sniffled, finally turning to look at you.

How could someone be sick but still look so freaking handsome??

“But how do you feel?” he asked.

You hesitated, debating about lying to him so it wouldn’t make him feel worse.

“I feel so much better, honestly…” you mumbled, hiding most of your face under the covers.

Hoseok smiled.

“Then I have no regrets.”

You blushed and scooted further down.

“Do you… have anywhere to be today?” You wondered, worried his illness would affect his busy idol work schedule.

He shook his head.

“No,” he sniffled, “Since Festa just ended we have some time off.”

You suddenly threw the covers off and jumped out of bed, feeling the best you had in days.

“Good! That means now I get to take care of you,” you headed to the door of the bedroom, “first I’m going to heat up some of that soup your dad made because there’s obviously some special healing powers in it or something.”

But Hoseok’s voice stopped you in the doorway.

“(Y/n), wait.”

You looked back at him.

He had sat up, his blonde hair tousled messily atop his head, the necklace he always wore shining against his muscular chest, his pale skin illuminated by the light of the sun. He looked like an angel.

“I also want to take care of you.”

You cocked your head and furrowed your eyes in confusion.

“But I feel a lot better now, I’m not sick anymore.”

He shook his head gently and curled his lips into a small smile, his deep dimples becoming prevalent on his chiseled face.

“I know,” he said, “I mean all the time. If you have had a bad day or want dinner at home or you just need someone to hold you for a while. I want to really take care of you... you know?”

Suddenly it was all coming back to you now… he was repeating almost the exact words from your confession last night. You swallowed hard feeling your heart thump against your chest.

“Hoseok, I-I…”

But you were at a loss for words. You couldn’t say you didn’t mean it because, well, you did. You really really did. Maybe you could just apologize, say it was your sick and half-asleep brain saying nonsense. Or say you were dreaming. Would he believe that?

Before you could make up your mind however Hoseok stood up and sauntered over to you, not stopping until your bodies were just inches apart. You could feel him peering down at you but you were too embarrassed to meet his gaze. So instead he placed his finger under your chin to tilt your head up gently, a warm smile still across his lips. He blinked slowly at you in adoration

“Do you know what I’m saying, (y/n)?” He murmured softly.

You shook your head, biting your bottom lip and staring into his dark brown eyes.

“I’m saying… I love you.”

Your heart suddenly felt like it could burst out of your chest, happy tears welled up in your eyes, a huge grin spread across your face.

“Hobi-ah,” you whispered, “I love you, too.”

He moved a piece of your hair behind your ear and rubbed your cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“I would really like to kiss you right about now,” he said, “but I don’t want you to get sick ag-“

You didn’t even hesitate as you placed your lips on his in a loving and tender kiss, not letting him finish the sentence.

You didn’t care if you caught another cold. You had each other. And now, there would always be someone to take care of you.

*

Masterlist

[jmdbjk]

Grab a beer and let’s talk.

I got a LOT to say. And the following is all over the place.

I wrote this about an hour after having my heart ripped out while watching Namjoon try to stifle his tears while speaking: 

Just putting this out there because we are all being raw and open today: One thing they cannot realize yet is that when you are not around people you work with day in and day out, if they don’t maintain contact often by spending time together, you sometimes can’t help but become distant. 

It is just a natural thing. It has happened to me several times after leaving a workplace where I was close to people but couldn’t stay in touch after leaving. This is their first job. They don’t know what it’s like to leave the only work family they’ve ever known and pursue something else.

BUT they’ve been together this long, they’ve spent so much time together, they ARE family, they said it during this Festa Dinner, THEY ARE FAMILY. So even though you are apart now, when you do finally get together with family that you might not see often, if you have that familial bond, it will feel like you were never apart. You just fall back into your family rhythm. I have had that happen to me as well with people I became extra close with at work but didn’t keep in close contact with. We can go years without speaking but when we see each other, there’s no awkwardness, it’s like family. Sometimes a bond forms and its there forever. Unexplainable.

We keep saying they’ve been trying to prepare Army for a while now but I think they’ve been mostly trying to prepare themselves to tell us.

All that was the first thing I thought of to write when I believed they were actually putting BTS on hold indefinitely. My reaction was to express my concern that they are leaving a place/job/daily life that is all they’ve known for the last ten years and maybe not be able to find their way back.

Then after hearing about HYBE’S clarification on the “hiatus/it’s not a hiatus it’s a break/time off period/whatever the fuck its called” my heart stood up out of its puddle of tears and I edited through these thoughts:

Going back in time to the V Live in Vegas back in April with Hobi, Jimin, Tae and finally joined by JK. They knew. They knew way before then too. 

They knew what they were working on and what was in store. I want to think they were already invigorated by it. They talked about Jimin’s new song (With You) and Jimin and Hobi joked about going to each other’s concerts!

Looking back at the ending ments of their Vegas concerts it really seemed like Hobi was savoring those moments, you could read it on his face and hear it in his words.

And the other day, Jimin taking the time to monitor Army during their music show tapings instead of sleeping, he knew these moments were precious and winding down to the last minute. I think he probably felt a pang of guilt because no one knew what was in store for us this morning. I love him so much. 

BUT NOW I REALIZE THEY ARE STILL DOING THINGS AS A GROUP AND WILL REPORT TO “WORK” JUST NOT MUSICAL WORK and probably not as tight and full of a schedule. But maybe by the end of this year we will have Run BTS again! 

And during the Festa dinner, the teasing from JK to JM about hearing Jimin’s new songs he’s working on...THEY KNOW WE KNOW. I am doing a whole post just on that brief few minutes of the Festa dinner shortly.

One of the things that Joon said was kind of a negative thing about the idol system and how it didn’t allow artists to mature and thinking about that I mean we as fans, we’re maturing and living a normal life as the years go by, having boyfriends/girlfriends and getting married and having babies and all kinds of stuff but the idols, if you’re an idol in an idol group you don’t get to do those kinds of things, you don’t get to share those kinds of things with the world, you’re sort of stuck in a glass jar and you’re supposed to stay timeless and young and it’s very restricting and I can see why there’s a seven year time limit for idol groups to stay together. In BTS‘s case they’ve been kind of making it up in uncharted territory as far as idols go these last few years after they crossed the 7 year mark and I think they’ve come to see how detrimental it is to just keep working nonstop.

I have several draft posts saved about mental health and what I think happened from mid year 2020 through 2021. One of the things I had thought was that the unwanted break really made all of them re-prioritize. The pandemic did that to all of us. 

Now we all know the truth, they were planning to take this non-hiatus hiatus after their MOTS:ON:E world tour. And then all of it was pulled out from under them. 

But they regrouped and put out an album and Dynamite came into being. And they spoke at the UN again. And again. And then went to the White House and spoke again about important issues.

Their New Year messages on December 31, 2020 that were supposed to reflect on 2020 and look forward to 2021 were so somber. They did not get the closure they needed. 

Some of the posts I have in my drafts about mental health were my thoughts about how the loss of their last concert tour visibly impacted Jimin. 

By the time they headed to Los Angeles, they already knew the PTD concerts might be it for a while. The rough plan was in motion.

The New Year messages on December 31, 2021 were a huge difference from the previous year’s. By December 31, 2021 they already knew they were going to be able to be more free in doing their own thing. We got individual Instagrams. We knew Hobi was working on his music. 

They’ve spent the last six months trying to get us and themselves ready for changes. We will learn about all the new stuff soon. All in due time. 

Joon’s words during the Festa dinner were filled with regret, resentment, guilt and uncertainty about how to proceed as BTS and how responsible he feels about what he personally says on behalf of the group. He strongly reiterated how much he needs to be on his own for a while. 

As he began talking about his concerns about hanging on to BTS he says he felt he knew what BTS was all about through Dynamite but after Butter and Permission to Dance he wasn’t sure what kind of group they were any more. I think that’s why the lyric in Yet to Come says back to square 1. 

Yoongi does say he keeps very busy doing all kinds of things these days, mostly because they are things he wants to accomplish and in a year or two when they are doing concerts again, he will not have time to do them. He is speaking like a man who sort of knows how the future (at least the next two years) might play out...like they have a rough idea of how long they will be away from a group stage (31:19).

But we know who is working on something: Hobi, who will release his work first. Jimin, Tae, Jin and Joon. According to Jin, everyone has their release date planned except him. But then JK says his will come out after Yoongi’s. I am not sure if he is being facetious as in “Yoongi is not working on anything and mine will come out after that.” Unless I missed where Yoongi mentioned he was working on his own music...

Joon said he (and maybe all of them) had mixed feelings about doing the music shows that are coming up, that they did the pre-recordings for last week, but felt strongly that they had to do something and they yearned so much to hear K-Army cheering again. (excuse me while I cry a minute)

They know that we are wild about the song Run Bulletproof and they want to have a performance of it, they even mentioned that there’s choreography already being created for it. They said next time they perform together it will be included. That song would just blow everything out of the water if it was released and performed live.

Them talking about the friendship tattoos. And deferring to the tattoo experts of the group, Jimin and Jungkook, to come up with a possible tattoo for them all. Kookie almost pulling up his sleeve to show his arm...sksksksks

I have no doubt that Jungkook made the appointment with his tattooist and will accompany Tae just to ease his mind about the quick process. For all we know, Yoongi might accompany them too. I hope we get to see them soon!

Jin started out saying he had wanted to be an actor so he could experience different things but he became an idol instead and got to experience even more things than he ever thought possible. They said he could still do some acting, but being the unambitious person he has always claimed to be, he said he would just be ready when it was time to be an idol again.

Kookie looks excited about being able to do whatever he wants. Everyone commented about how wise and mature he’s become. And also that he’s the most eccentric person Yoongi knows.

Tae has felt like he’s been holding back and now has a chance to do things he’s always wanted to do. The small slivers of himself he has shown us, his social butterfly personality, his great snippets of his music...I hope he lets it all fly to the sky this year.

Hobi was tearing up throughout the entire dinner and Kookie said he’s about to make us all cry again. Hobi says this is a very important moment for BTS and hoped we understand why it’s happening. (excuse me again while I cry)

Jimin says they are nothing without Army and he just wants the members to be able to tell us everything and for us to take their words as they say them as they are AND NOT MAKE UP BULLSHIT (sorry, I added that last part).

Joon wonders how he (and BTS) came from such a small place and managed to reach the things they have. He too wishes they could be free of the world’s constrictions and speak freely about everything because he believes Army deserves that from them, Jimin chimes in again saying that even though they’ve grown along with Army, they cannot share everything with us and that is the saddest and hardest thing. Joon manages to make everyone start crying. 

They all speak as if there is no such thing as military enlistment. I suppose we will find out what the deal is with that eventually.

They were obviously all a little tipsy. They were all very emotional at the end. But they all seemed relieved and happy even though we are all crying lumps of emotion here at the end.

I am exhausted emotionally. I think we all are. I need to create a meme to illustrate what we’ve been through since June 9. 

I am so sorry this was so long but I had to get it all out so I could move on. I am not leaving this blog and I hope y’all stick around too.

I will follow up with something we all love to see.