#just feels a bit like youre using me as a platform rather than actually talking to me

[13eyond13]

Headcannons where Light never got the Death Note but he was still a serial killer? (I also encourage people in the notes to provide their thoughts too!)

Hmmmm.... I don't really know if I think Light would ever be a serial killer without the notebook, tbh? The way he found the notebook and started using it, and then developed his reasons for doing so, and the specific way the notebook works, is so intricately tied into him becoming a murderer for me that it's just difficult for me to swap his methods or motives for anything else and still find it actually in-character for him.

[coolprettyleo]

talk of the town - will smith

tw: lowkey cringe. if ur not into it lmk lowk...

wc: 1.4k

will smith x influencer/ d'amelio sister

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dylan couldn't believe the shit day she was having. she had woken up late and missed her pilates class, then she spilt coffee all over her laptop, and right now she was fifteen minutes late to her music class. it was her first ever day of college too.

even though she was having a horrible day, she was still dressed cute. she decided she wanted to start taking her school more seriously. and that meant actually going to class.

the thing about dylan though is that she didn't need school. she had over one hundred million followers on all platforms. she was what someone would call an influencer.

influencers usually didn't continue with school if they didn't need to so when dylan decided to still attend college it was a shock to a lot of people; including her family.

her family were all also influencers and didn't decide to attend college; rather deciding to work on their brand instead. a brand that dylan opted out of, she had decided to enter marketing at boston college.

she entered her music class to find that there was no less than twenty five students inside. thats what happens when you attend a private college! dylans strategy her whole life was to always sit in the back of classes. (it was easier to skip class and just lie to the professor and say you were there)

there was one seat left where three other boys sat. she set her stuff down. the boys giving her an odd look, not thinking anyone was going to take that last seat between them or probably trying to figure out why the hell she looked so familiar. dylan got that look often.

the professor though was deep in lecture about their upcoming assignment and dylan was too busy trying to find a top for her upcoming brand dinner in New York. she was pulled out of her own little world when the professor noticed she was not listening and had missed the introduction part of class and decided to call her out on it.

she felt a tap from the boy next to her getting her attention because it seemed the professor had been calling her.

"oh my gosh im so sorry what" she said removing an AirPod and sheepishly looking at the class who all seemed to be either smiling at her or giving her dirty looks.

"since you decided to grace us with your presence introduce yourself please" she said pointing to a slide that stated what exactly to say.

"uhm... im dylan. im from connecticut but I've been living in LA for the past four years, and im a marketing major" she said awkwardly feeling like everyone was judging her.

"alright thank you miss dylan. I want to see the title slide of the assignment done before I dismiss you guys" she said.

the three boys she sat with seemed to be life long friends and she was feeling a bit left out. she had zoned them out till she heard them whispering to each other.

"ask her"

"no thats weird"

"ill ask"

"your tiktok famous huh"

she looked up to a freckled boy her while the dark haired boy giggled and the blonde haired boy cringed.

"uhm, yeah... I guess" she said awkwardly. she really didn't know what to say.

"nice" he said going back to working on his assignment.

she smiled awkwardly and looked at the other two boys. who looked like they were cringing about their friends actions. the dark haired boy seemed to let it go and work on his assignment while the blonde one spoke up.

"im sorry about him, ryan doesn't know how to talk to girls"

"yes I do! if I didn't how would I of pulled frankie" ryan says.

"she basically pulled you" gabe quipped back.

dylan just giggled along to their battering. they seemed funny.

"he's fine. a lot of people don't realize its me in real life but instead just stare at me trying to figure out why I look so familiar, and thats creepier to me"

"well we knew it was you because everyones been saying you go here" ryan told her.

oh god it was a hot topic?

"people talk about it?" she said grossed out.

"yeah, but like no one ever sees you for some reason"

"I did online classes and lived in LA last semester" she told them. it was true, her family was filming their Hulu show and it didnt make sense for her to leave mid-way through filming.

"do you live on campus?" the blonde one asked her again. he seemed like the quiet and calmer one of the three boys.

hes hot

"no, I live in beacon hill, the city"

"why didnt you dorm" gabe nosily asked.

"I didn't think it would be too fun to share an apartment with random girls at first but now I regret it, because I have no friends here" she honestly told them.

"oh my god! my girlfriend has no friends!" ryan said loudly. which made will, gabe, and the people around them to laugh.

"im telling her you said that" will smiled mischievously at him.

"shutup smitty. we have a game tonight and she usually sits alone or with my parents but they're not coming tonight so she'd probably like the company!" ryan said. he was honestly just trying to do a nice thing. he knew frankie struggled with the fact she had no girl friends; even though she said it was fine, and dylan seemed nice.

"game?" Dylan said confused.

"oh ya! we play hockey" the freckled boy answered.

"oh thats cool!" dylan said. she had attended a couple games recently due to the fact her sister was dating an NHL player.

"im will, thats gabe, and ryan" the blonde one said pointing the dark haired boy and the freckled one.

"im dylan. and what's your girlfriends number, id be down to go" she said to the freckled one.

"here" he said writing it down and handing her a crumpled paper.

"her names frankie by the way"

"okay, ill text her after class" she said smiling getting back to work.

"what's your major?" will asked her. he didn't want the conversation to end for some reason. she was lowkey his celebrity crush since he was like fourteen and they first started getting famous.

"marketing. you?"

"communications"

"your quite the communicator then" she said.

oh my gosh dylan you sound pathetic what the hell even is a communicator?

what didnt help was that will looked clueless and Ryan and gabe seemed to be biting back a smile acting like they weren't listening.

"im sorry?"

"like, you like communications- like the major" dylan said, trying to save herself but digging an even deeper and awkwarder hole, turning as red as a tomato.

"uhm ya, I didn't really know what major to pick coming in" he said smiling at her. a smile that dylan liked to see.

"well what do you want to be?"

"a hockey player."

"oh... too bad hockey isn't a major huh" she said chuckling at her own joke while ryan and gabe gave her funny looks except will of course, who was laughing at the joke like it was the funniest thing ever said. (thats what your supposed to do when your crush tells a joke)

"and what do you want to be"

"honestly, I dont know. I just want to have the degree so I can have more of a say in the brands I deal with, and all that"

"so you want the knowledge" gabe said, since he's been listening.

"yeah, basically" she said. making eye contact with will who looked to be studying her a bit.

he knew she wanted to say more but seemed to be putting up a wall which was understandable seeing as she just met these boys twenty mins ago.

"well im all done." she said closing up her laptop and standing up.

"maybe ill see you guys later!" she said waving to them.

"look for 6" will said to her.

"six what?" she said confused.

"what?" he said equally confused now

"six of what" she said cluelessly.

"like the number six" he said smiling awkwardly.

"oh!! omg I knew that! okay!" she said grabbing her bag and waving bye to them.

gabe and ryan gave each other a knowing look before immediately chirping will.

"you are such a flirt"

"that was painful"

"and he said I dont know how to talk to girls"

"shutup guys" he said packing his stuff away before leaving. hoping to see her in the stands tonight. her personality was even cuter.

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im so sorry for not uploading! I just keep overthinking everything so I end up just deleting it! but thats just a me problem lol. but I hope u guys like this au. I plan to the it all together.

[pictureinme]

no need to be shy – patricia 'kitten' braden

❧ request: the shy reader is at the club and she knows the kitten and the kitten knows her! The reader is sitting in the corner all quiet by herself until the kitten comes over and gets her comfortable before fucking her senseless in a private room! Or the bathroom …

word count: ~1.5k tags: semi-public, a tinge of roughness + dirty talk, p in v, grinding masterlist | ao3

You huff as you make yourself as small as possible in the already cramped club– the sticky leather booth you’ve huddled yourself in only making you more aware of the hopelessness of the predicament. You were never the ‘party animal’ or even the clubbing type as so many of your peers were, but decided tonight would be the night that all changes. To no one’s surprise, that didn’t work out, not even for a second.

The moment you were let into the club by the bouncer, who was a bit too generous with the cologne, you felt as though your heart dropped to your stomach. The music was shit, and the blokes were even worse– hounding you like you were easy and fresh meat for them to intoxicate until your standards lowered. You thought a drink might actually help in the end, but it was not only expensive, it tasted like watered-down gasoline.

Beginning to collect your purse and coat, your eyes fall upon a familiar face making her way through the crowd– bouncing off the energy of everyone in her path effortlessly. It was Patricia Braden, but you know her solely as Kitten, one of your most drop-dead gorgeous friends. You often dreamt of the day it would become more, with all her flirtations towards you, but you’d have to be held at gunpoint to admit such a thing.

Before you can hide yourself away amidst the crowd of drunkards, Kitten spots you– immediately lighting up like nothing else. She saunters to your booth, her platform heels clicking on the floor– the sound drowned out by the obnoxious music.

She tilts her head and smiles, "Well, fancy seeing you here, gorgeous! Mind if I join you?"

Kitten slides into the booth beside you before you can mutter a response, her fur coat brushing against your bare thigh. She takes a sip of her martini, the glass cradled so delicately– her eyes never leaving your face. "It's quite a surprise running into you here, (Y/N). This really isn’t your scene, is it?"

Her cadence is soft, leaving you with that familiarly strange sense of comfort in her presence. Shaking your head gently, you tug nervously at your ill-fitting dress for the evening, “You’re quite right, I… don’t know what was expecting by coming here. Was actually gonna leave before you spotted me!”

"Oh, sweetheart, don’t leave now! You look absolutely stunning, it would be such a waste,” Kitten leans closer, her hand resting lightly on your arm, “You know, there's plenty of fun to be had around here… as long as you know where to look."

Your heart speeds up as her eyes practically drill holes into your own, yet you can’t find the courage to meet them, “Well, you’re the life of the party, aren’t you? I’m sure it comes easy to you…”

Kitten hums, pulling your arm closer to her, the warmth of her body making you dizzy, “Oh, come on, then! Let’s get you used to the clubbing lifestyle– dance with me, dear!”

You let her drag you out of the booth, everything becoming a daze as her body seems to slot itself behind yours perfectly– the music suddenly seeming less shitty than it once did. You allow yourself to move with Kitten, her guidance with the rhythm made the rest of the club melt away. You lean back against her body, the fabric of your dresses shifting against each other perfectly– you don’t yet notice that delicious warmth igniting in your stomach at the touch.

“Not so bad, is it?” Kitten leans to your ear, her warm breath and voice causing you to tremble.

Opting to just nod in response, rather than embarrass yourself with a crack in your desperate voice, you feel her body shake with a laugh. Her hands snake their way all over you, seeming like it was all part of the dance she had guided you in– until she squeezed your hips.

Your legs open wider at this, the subconscious reaction telling Kitten everything that she needed to know, “Much less shy, aren’t you now, love?”

She spins you around to see your expression– the two of you share the same lust-filled gazes. You nod again, grateful that the music masked your heavy breathing– but it couldn’t mask the way you stared at her perfect lips. Not wasting another precious moment, she grips your hand in hers, and you allow her to take you wherever she was planning to.

Kitten sneaks around the perimeter of the club with you, knowing exactly where the private rooms are– you would never question how she knew such a thing when your brain was so dizzy from her simple touch. She swiftly unlocks the inconspicuous door, and before you know it, has you pinned behind it with a surprisingly gentle kiss.

“Been wanting to kiss you for so long, you know,” Kitten breathes out a laugh, her blue eyes darting between your eyes and lips, “Just needed an excuse, didn’t I?”

You let out a whimper at her words, and a simple utterance of, “Please.”

She locks you in another kiss, more searing than the last, as she quickly lifts your dress to caress your hips properly. You do the same to her, fingers brushing against her growing arousal– held back only by the thin fabric of her panties.

Separating to breathe again, you nod vehemently as she pulls down your panties, her fingers teasing at your wetness. Kitten brings them to her ruby red lips, savoring the taste as you feel your knees almost buckle at such an erotic sight.

She reaches up to stroke your cheek, her fingers tracing the line of your jaw, "Are you ready for a little more fun?"

You let her lead you to the velvet couch, the wide seating allowing the two of you to rest comfortably– it was becoming increasingly obvious that this room was used for a lot more than just dancing. You fall back against the plush fabric, legs spread as Kitten crawls in between them– leaning down to kiss your awaiting lips. She kisses down your neck, leaving red lipstick in her wake as you feel her hips begin to rock against your own. You let out a moan as her bulge rubs particularly hard against your already sensitive clit, and she moans as well.

“Please, Kitten,” you look at her weakly, your trepidation long gone, “I can’t wait anymore, please, I…”

She pouts, and you would have believed it, if it were not for the way her hips twitched at your pleas, “We’ll draw out the fun another time, then…”

Kitten quickly pulls down her panties, and without hesitation, starts to grind against your arousal again– but with no flimsy barriers in sight. The two of you whine in tandem as she coats herself in your wetness, all in the name of preparation, you’re sure. You feel as though you would burst just from this, but she just as quickly enters you with one swift thrust.

Your head falls back against the couch, thumping repeatedly as Kitten desperately fucks into your warmth, like it was the last thing she could ever do, “God, you feel so good, love… I always knew you would.”

“Kitten, oh!” You quickly cover your mouth with your hand at both her movements and words, the two seeming to concoct a plan to get you off embarrassingly fast.

She grabs your wrists to quickly pin them above you, not letting you hide your high-pitched moans from her, “Been wanting to be inside of you for so long, sweetheart… need to hear your cute little moans for me, don’t hide away.”

Her unexpected roughness has your legs wrapping around the small of her back, pressing Kitten even further into you– her shallow and quick thrusts deepening. You were completely at her mercy, and it only increased the volume of your moans– rivaling the music just outside the door.

“Always so perfect and shy,” she smiles as her grip on your wrists tightens, “Just needed me to fuck it out of you, right, my love?”

Nodding again, as it was the only thing you felt you could do in her presence, you mewl at her term of endearment despite the way she fucked into you, “Please, please, please…”

Kitten’s thrusts stutter at your already fucked-out expression and voice, “You’re so close, aren’t you? How long has it been since you’ve been loved properly, hm? Let go for me, angel.”

With her permission, you let yourself fall deeper into the pleasure she was giving you, the peak in sight as she reaches one of her hands down to rub deep circles on your clit. Your back arches off of the velvet, the blend of pain and pleasure from her insatiability crashes onto you like a tidal wave as you release.

She keeps thrusting into you, muttering praise as your legs keep her deep inside of you as she releases as well. You would figure out that predicament later, the only thing you could focus on was calming your breathing, and tiredly kissing Kitten back as she pulled out of your aching warmth.

[geryone]

hey so your blog is an oasis of comfort for me. im at a point in my life where I'm gaslighting my algorithm that i don't actually enjoy movies or books or any of my hobbies, because the takes I see online are so inherently reductive and based on engagement bait that it sucks the joy out of anything. the current online booksphere is very pro-censorship and moralism in a way that reminds me of religious fascism, with a bit of aestheticisation of classics without delving into the subject matter while still upholding a facade of elitism. i just want to feel im not alone in being alienated from my hobbies by social media.

sorry if this was too much of a vent, or if I come off as snotty while trying to be earnest in my disappointment.

i want people to engage with the art they consume, i want them to actually emotionally and mentally communicate with the author, and not just close off the parts they have been conditioned to dislike by the benign entertainment fed to us by capitalism breed of art. they don't have to like it, but i want them to fall in love with life and friendship and art and community. i want them to know that there is a world outside of optics and themselves.

thank you for being part of my journey. once again sorry if it's too long, i wanted to have a bit of communication. hope you're doing well!

You’re definitely not alone in feeling alienated from your hobbies bc of social media!! You won’t catch me on YouTube/instagram/tiktok because to some extent talking about books on those platforms feels performative rather than personal. If I was a stronger person I would limit my time on tumblr as well lmao. What I appreciate about this space is that I can share what I’m reading but know that my own thoughts and opinions are not informed by what other people think!! Not to dunk on booktok romances too much (bc I absolutely read them from time to time) but if all you read is easy and comfortable for you then what are you gaining from it?? Push yourself a little!!! Force yourself to read about different beliefs & perspectives!! Read something that is hard to understand!! Work for it!!! I’ve read so much I disagree with and dislike but I have never regretted better understanding the world around me

[solarwynd]

Tbh I don't even care / dislike boycott armys. If you don't want to spend money on BTS because they haven't spoken about Palestine, that's your perogative. Because they're enlisted, that does make a difference for me - maybe others find it an excuse but as someone who doesn't live in a liberal western country myself, I know how things like this work in my country and how vulnerable you can be in this situation, so I don't know how it works in s korea but still I'm giving them some leeway. Also there's just this weird disconnect for me because on one side yeah they're millionaires with a huge platform, on the other side they're currently in the mfing army right now. It feels foul to start tweeting about their privilege from the comfort of my bed in my home - something they currently do not experience. That's just my opinion. Someone else might perceive them to have more power than I do and maybe they're right. I won't say mine is the only right way to think. Plus again it's your money - if you donate more and spend less on merch then that's still a net good imo.

But the whole tone of people remarking on this donation has been completely gross. The way they talk about a genocide the same way they talk about the stupid fanwars that happen on twt everyday rather than with the weight it deserves makes me feel like this is some performative bs. Tweets like the ones some armys and kpop stans make just degrades the whole movement.

If you do have genuine intentions and start making stupid tweets like that, you should really touch some grass, log off twitter and do some more actual activism offline instead of letting twitter brain worms consume you. Acting like everyone's misconstruing what you said and playing victim is also not the move. This is a serious topic so I'd expect tweets related to this to have some actual thought behind it instead of spewing some idiocy as a gotcha because again it looks like you're treating this whole issue like some fandom war and trying to one-up the other side. Click-clack my ass.

Armys always come at BTS crazy during times like this and it’s not because it’s “necessary” since you want them to speak up. It all just comes off as sanctimonious and BTS ruining the perception armys have built around them as stans of them being a bit more conscientious than other k groups. I’ve never had an issue with boycotting in theory it’s just that armys can’t stand behind shit or just go about it the wrong way.

Why is it the minute they don’t perform to your exact standards, all of a sudden they’re low down and evil?Why couldn’t y’all have used Jimin donating as a beacon to rally fans to open a pool or something? And I try not to go tit for tat on things like this, but it’s extremely hard not to when you see proof of all these armys happily buying and streaming golden from last year and have been the main ones making these posts about jimin’s donation.

Nothing has changed from that time to present day. Same with the kpop stans trying to join in on it stanning groups who haven’t said a word either. How do you expect me not to believe y’all don’t have ulterior motives by singling him or BTS out? Now all those accounts have deleted those tweets cause they’ve gotten called out on their hypocrisy and got caught up in how dumb they look getting Jimin dragged over something so harmless. Cause it’s not like he gave money to something inane or inconsequential. He’s helping underprivileged children. Just real dickheaded behavior from that person.

Now considering how a member has close ties with scooter, making a statement would come off as hypocritical. I know in the grander scheme of things, what’s needed and what’s important is the awareness and I’d take it as such. But denouncing Zionism with a Zionist so avidly in the mix still wouldn’t be a good look. Which is why I feel like donating would have been the better option. It’d be much more substantial helping out with funds/materials imo because those are things Palestinians desperately need. But I understand that it’s not on the table since they’re in the military.

[rohirric-hunter]

I made an @ellipsus-writes account yesterday and with one day under my belt here are my first impressions.

It's basically Google Docs, but without being associated with Google. You're able to edit documents from any device with a web browser, which is a lot more convenient than the WebDav server I'm currently using.

Things that are less than ideal:

There aren't a lot of customization options. You can switch between light and dark mode, but I would like to be able to set my document backgrounds to a color. Also it would be better if you could change your view layout. Right now it looks like this:

and I would prefer to have these documents in a list, rather than these big bubbles. The bubbles might be cool if you could change their color or add an image background to them, but as is they're just boring white and taking up a lot of space. I have only 12 documents in this folder and it's a bit silly that I can't see them all at once.

2. You might also notice that these documents appear to be in a completely random order. They're actually in the order I last edited them in. I prefer my documents to be in alphabetical order, and this is an option that exists, but a) when switching to this view it for some reason defaults to reverse alphabetical order and I then have to manually select regular alphabetical order, and b) this setting will not be remembered between sessions.

3. I can't seem to get rid of the, "Need help? Chat with us" popup at the bottom of the page. It takes up an annoying amount of space, and I wish it was collapsible.

Things that worry me:

Instead of having a password system, Ellipsus sends you an email link every time you go to log in. There's nothing wrong with doing it this way I guess, since you can access the link from the same device you're accessing the website from, but it kind of just smacks of being different for the sake of being different. Makes me worry about security. Not that I write anything worth stealing.

Instead of having a normal profile system, Ellipsus uses Gravatar, which is some "universal internet account" nonsense that I will absolutely not be using. This probably won't be a huge issue, though, as I don't really plan on using the collaboration tools, so I won't need to make a profile. I wish I could change my email address, though, as I accidentally used the wrong one to make the account. I might make a new account.

I don't understand how all this is being paid for. There are no ads, the account is free, but the hosting is all done by Ellipsus. While text does not take up a ton of space to host, it does take up some space, and that costs money. Are the creators doing it out of their own pockets? Do they have a donor? Will there be donation drives to support it later? Or will they adopt advertisements in the future or introduce a "premium" option where you can pay for additional features? The last one normally wouldn't worry me, but since it is currently so bare-bones I'm a bit antsy. What if you have to pay for the option to have your documents in alphabetical order by default?

Their advertising is. Vague. I put this off for a long time because looking around on their website there was a lot of talk about how you're a writer and super creative and also they'll never steal your data to train AIs, but it was really hard to find a place where it outright said what the product was. This concerns me because it makes me feel like the company has something to hide.

Good things:

It's a platform that does the same thing as Google Docs without actually being Google Docs. This is a powerful pro. I'll probably keep using it for now.

Oh yeah and they don't have an app. A few years ago this would have gone in the less-than-ideal section for me but these days with the way app stores are about user generated content it's probably best to avoid the whole thing. I followed their suggestion to set a link on my homescreen (through Firefox) and it works very well. I was worried it might be laggy (Tumblr was laggy when I used it through Firefox) but it's been very responsive. No server access if you're not connected to the internet, but if you have the document already open then you can keep typing into it and it will update when you reconnect. This is the same way I used Google Docs back in the day and perfectly serviceable in my opinion.

[bodycountgame]

This is an odd kind of question but I’ve been seeing a bunch of ifs originally written in CS move over to twine (even this game made this change!!) and, as someone who isn’t on the dev-side of if games and has only been reading ifs for a little while, I was wondering if you could speak to why you chose to make this switch? Was it just personal preference? Could twine do things CS couldn’t? Was there something wrong with CS and COG that pushed people away? Obviously you can only speak to your own experience (and only if you’re comfortable answering!) but getting some perspective could help explain this larger trend I’ve been noticing

i feel like in general this has been hashed out a few times within the community so i can't speak for everyone but i had a few reasons for moving away from choicescript.

to be absolutely clear, these are just reasons for Me Personally and there are obviously plenty of reasons that someone might want to use choicescript that are all perfectly valid and choice of games as a platform still hosts some of my faaaaavourite IF games and writers, so absolutely 0 shade to those lovely people!

in terms of things that you can do in twine that you can't do in choicescript, there's more freedom with UI/design in twine, which is nice! i feel like the new UI (designed & built by @nyehilismwriting mwah mwah) really adds to the ~vibe~ of body count as a story.

in general, though, my concerns were more practical.

the main thing is that choicescript isn't an open source language, which has some implications for ~ownership~. it means that authors get a cut of the earnings of games published through hosted games (that i understand to be pretty decent based on industry standard but correct me if i'm wrong?) but it's a cut nonetheless. it also makes things like having a patreon a bit less secure - i think CoG have said that things like early access are fine on patreon as long as they'll eventually be released through hosted games, but i wanted to be able to write side stories etc that would (and have) stay/ed patreon exclusive and that wouldn't really have technically been allowed. i think most authors using patreon have done so without incident, but just that legality aspect made me nervous! since it's my aim for body count to be a free game in the end, i really rely/ied on the income that comes from patreon during the creation process.

i also had some issues personally with some of the messaging coming from CoG and the idea of my work being associated with another brand first and foremost rather than just with me as an independent author, i guess? there was talk about NFTs which i'm not into and i think that was the final straw that made me decide to take the plunge and move to twine, but actually looking back it was really a culmination of things. had a few bad experiences with the forums, generally just didn't ~feel right~.

ultimately for this project in particular i was like. well if i'm gonna write like a million words and invest years of my life into this thing i want to be able to do what i want with it, release it on my own terms, actually own it etc etc.

anyway, i hope that all makes sense! as i said up top, i can't speak for other authors and there are probably a lot of pros to using choicescript compared to twine as well, it's a perfectly valid choice, just not the right one for me :)

[behindthewox]

I have a question for you all. If you could decide the content and focus of this blog, taking the opportunity to make use of the established audience and reputation that already exists, what would you do?

There are a lot of things I want to do with this blog, and it's not just criticism. I'd like to do tips and tricks, guides and helpful examples to actively provide help and support for the sites too. But I'm just one person, I only have so much time and although I have some experience and skill to share I'm not an expert by any means. But we have a lot of people across WoX who are very experienced and very skilled in various jobs, and it's a shame we don't make that available across sites for others to learn from and make use of.

This blog could be a platform for sharing tips, advice and how-to guides between sites to help each other out. It could even be used to advertise site events and reach out to potential new users. But for that it needs contributors who contribute with content, and I can see why people would hesitate to get involved in that.

I made a decision early on with this blog: the most efficient way to get attention and reputation within the WoX community would be to make content that people would talk about and have strong opinions on, for better or worse. I'd say it worked, people have strong opinions on the content and that makes them pay attention and talk about the content they feel strongly about. A lot of people across WoX are familiar with the blog and there is a regular audience. It comes at a price though: this blog now has a reputation for being controversial and problematic. It's a price I was, and am, willing to pay. A risk I took knowingly and strategically. In some circles it's mostly supported and people appreciate the content and the platform as an option to be heard and supported, and do so anonymously without risk of repercussions. In other circles it's considered a venomous pit of hate and bitterness, toxic and abusive, spreading radical views and unfair assumptions, using misinformation and false accusations under the guise of "voicing opinions" to bully and hurt people because they're upset about something. (I personally think that's a rather extreme and unfair opinion/accusation based on personal feelings rather than objective observation, but I can see where they're coming from. Credit to the anon who summarised these opinions for me in a submission.)

The problematic reputation will probably stick, no matter what sort of content I choose to focus on. And to some extent I think we need to be a bit problematic and controversial in order to change for the better. We need some radical opinions to start discussions about things we wouldn't discuss or even consider otherwise. It's a tricky balance but progress doesn't come out of compliance - progress is triggered by criticism. It's a process that does damage but like the saying goes, "you can't make an omelett without breaking a few eggs".

That said, I'd like for this blog to do more than just breaking eggs. I'd like to provide the instructions for how to make an omelett out of it too, and I do my best to try when I can. The question is, is it worth the time and effort to create the content? Would it be helpful or just dismissed because it comes from a blog with a problematic reputation? Would other people be willing to contribute? Would it be worth making an offensive overstep, an outsider providing a service that the community leaders should provide, making them look bad for failing to provide it? These aren't rhetorical questions, I actually need answers. And we, as a community, could probably use a healthy discussion about it too.

Feel free to make subsmissions with your ideas on how we can change and improve things, not just this blog but also the WoX sites at large. It's important to discuss the problems, but it's even more important to discuss the solutions.

[zones-spinterest-corner]

Content/trigger warnings: discussions of anxiety (specifically health anxiety/illness anxiety disorder), talk surrounding life-threatening/life-altering illnesses, and general uncomfortable topics like death not everyone may want to read! Click “read more” at your own caution and take care of yourself!

I’ve been suffering with health anxiety for years on end now, but it had died down a bit until recently. I don’t actually see people talk about it all that much (at least in the circles I’m in), so I want to use my teeny tiny platform to hopefully help at least one other person know they’re not alone.

I won’t go into the event that I believe kickstarted it as it’s a traumatic and sensitive memory, but it got significantly worse during 2020 and the Covid lockdown. As that died down, so did my health anxiety, but as I’ve been experiencing new and unprecedented problems as of recent, it’s come back with a force.

My anxiety mainly focuses on illnesses that can become very dangerous very quickly if not caught early enough, mainly ones like heart attacks, strokes, appendicitis, and the like. Slower onset illnesses can also cause some fear, but not nearly as much as the fast acting ones.

I decided to try and project these fears onto something outside of my own mind, and ended up giving my main oc, Zone, health anxiety as well. I also ended up personifying those feelings into an antagonistic, but not necessarily malicious, character.

Fuan is the embodiment of anxiety, and happened to latch onto Zone, who was already riddled with those feelings and only made them worse.

The broken and dripping heart in their design alludes to health anxiety, as a representation of the fear of dying. Chest pain is a symptom of anxiety and/or panic attacks for some people, me included, which it can also represent. The spiky tail is supposed to look somewhat like a knife, which is more synonymous with Zone’s lore as a character and why he specifically suffers with health anxiety, but can also probably represent some aspects of anxiety.

Fuan doesn’t want to cause pain, in fact they want to prevent it by predicting threats, but over time their perception of reality became more and more warped, to the point they take something small and insignificant and blow it out of proportion because of what it *could* be. Logic doesn’t work very well when dealing with them, as when they feel like they’re being ignored or talked over, they amplify their voice to make sure their warnings are heard. They want people to be safe, but are far too paranoid about non-threats.

This ends up putting Fuan into a “the boy who cried wolf” situation, too, as when they do predict an actual threat, they’re less likely to be listened to as they’ve been warning people of non-threats for too long that it seems like another one of their overblown dramatisations.

This is how I perceive anxiety to work. It’s not an evil emotion by any means, it wants to help, but in disordered cases it becomes too paranoid about tiny things that it raises alarm bells when there shouldn’t be any.

It actually helps somewhat to envision anxiety as something that just wants to help, but ends up being far too cautious and only causes more pain in the process. I’m fairly certain Inside Out 2 did this? I haven’t watched the movie so I don’t know for sure, but I know Anxiety isn’t portrayed as a villain, rather an antagonist who’s doing the wrong things for the right reasons.

It’s hard to feel any empathy towards an emotion that only seems to cause pain, but no emotion wants to do that in my opinion. They’re all here for a reason, and while sometimes they get it wrong (in disordered cases more than others), they don’t have any malicious intent.

I hope me sharing some of my experiences and feelings towards this topic helps someone else feel seen, I think respectful discussion about difficult mental health topics is very important as there’s so much misinformation around some, and some people feel so alone because their specific illnesses aren’t spoken about a lot. I know this feeling in both the physical and mental health departments.

If you’ve made it this far, even if you just skimmed, remember you are loved and you are not alone! Think about it this way: if you were the only person in the world to have an illness or disorder, you would’ve probably been asked to name it by now! Sometimes you do have to go looking to find people with similar struggles, but they do exist!

Have a cookie, I have options that cater to specific allergies and intolerances if need be! -> 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[sickknotdoom]

I've seen you pop up in the #sparkletag quite a bit recently, and as both a Patron and as a friend of Kneeby, I think I've had enough of your antics.

It's really depressing to see someone dedicate their entire online presence towards hating someone. It's extremely creepy and weird to obsess over every single thing kit does like this. I urge you to go find a better hobby, and I mean it. This kind of parasocial behavior is toxic and only serves to hurt everyone including yourself. Take a break from this and use that time to reflect on yourself and what you really want. Do you want to dedicate all of your time constantly rambling and raving about everything kit does online? Does that sound like a productive use of your time? I don't think it is.

all my posts boil down to "the pacing and prioritization of this comic could use a lot of improvement + i find it weird that the creator isnt raising awareness to a literal genocide going on rn" and you react by writing an angry essay. your ask seems to boil down to "you cant criticize my favorite comic because it might hurt the creators feelings" so im gonna respond with an angrier essay

there are good things about sparklecare, obviously. i resonate with it in some regards. but that doesnt mean its perfect, as nothing is. i dont even tag my shit under the main sparklecare tags (apart from the stuff about kneeby not raising awareness towards palestine) because i know people like you are gonna get upset if you see a conflicting opinion on your dash. the only tags i tend to use are #sparklecriticism and #sparklecare criticism, none of the main tags. block those tags if you dont wanna deal with me.

my criticism is valid (i think) since yeah. the comics writing has a huge problem when it comes to letting things happen naturally instead of rushing them, which results in kneeby having to explain things on the blog (which 99% of the time you have to scroll deep into since the main blog is constantly reblogging the cometcare one) rather than having the comic clarify it on its own. thats a genuine issue in storytelling so i feel like it should be addressed and worked on.

i have way more of a presence online than this blog, obviously. i just dont want this blog connected to my real identity for a wide variety of reasons (mainly not wanting to be harassed even further than i already am)

if youre a friend of kneeby then i think you should tell kit to actually DO SOMETHING to raise awareness to the genocide going on in palestine and other targets, PUBLICLY. not just an announcement in a private discord, a public statement, or AT LEAST reblog the fanart of uni waving the palestinian flag. all the social commentary ive seen (yes im still taking the social commentary into account since the comic was described as such until my blog popped up) has come across as performative to anyone besides the clowns themselves, id love to see kneeby talk about issues that dont just apply to kit.

i know damn well the sparklecare blog is kits biggest platform, kit should use it to raise awareness, i dont care if the topic makes kit sad, it makes me sad too, but i still retweet as much shit about it as possible whenever it crosses my mind because i actually care about issues that dont involve just me and i actually want to do something to change the world. im a teenager and i do more to raise awareness than a group of adults.

im just a kid with opinions

[utilitycaster]

i saw a comment on reddit about what previous villains may return as result of magic prisons dispelling, like Trent or Vecna. And it got me thinking I prefer C2's separation from C1. While bringing 3 campaigns together is fun. With the Mighty Nein, Keyleth, J'mon, Vax and everyone involved it feels like Bell's Hells are a tiny cog in the wheel, not the heroes? Which is realistic. But (bar Imogen and Orym) it doesn't feel like their story anymore? They keep asking 'why us' and I don't know either

So I'm going to just state that I dislike and don't use Reddit as a platform anyway and have specific reasons to mistrust the CR Reddit's rules and moderation. I take any comment made on the Reddit with an entire shaker of salt and would advise people to just not look at it, because I don't think worthwhile discussion is encouraged there.

On the one hand, "why us" is at some point a question most D&D groups ask (and that does include Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein). This is such a massive undertaking that any one group or individual cannot just fix it, and significant and powerful NPCs are a normal part of the game even for past campaigns; J'mon couldn't fix all of Vox Machina's problems so there's no reason to believe they can fix Bells Hells' problems either. Bells Hells are a small cog right now, but missing a small cog will still entirely stop the gears from turning properly.

It's fair to say that because of the setup of this campaign, that sense of "why us" is heightened: most campaigns would probably either build up to the events of episode 51 as the final boss battle, or alternately introduce it very early, before the party can do much about it at all, as something they will build up to solving. Having it as the party hit mid-levels and when they were extremely involved in the lead-up, sometimes at the cost of character development/party meshing is admittedly tricky, and I've said before, the lead-in suffered at times. But that doesn't mean it's not their story. I have had my frustrations, and to be clear if we spend a protracted amount of time in Zephrah I will not be a fan of that specific decision, but since the solstice it has finally, to me, felt like they've been properly in the driver's seat.

I'd also add that my takeaway for quite some time from this campaign has been the theme that imperfect but thoughtful action nearly always is far superior to unrealized perfect ideology. "Why us" isn't really a question they need to answer. Who cares why. It is them, so it's time to shoulder that responsibility. Honestly it's when someone like Ludinus says "yes, it should be me" that we get problems. Had he perhaps looked at all of the things he claims are problems, after serving in positions of power within two separate major governments, and made an effort to actually fix them in real time rather than developing a centuries-long master plan involving draining the life out of various fey creatures, and blowing up the moon we might not be having these problems.

I do still prefer the Mighty Nein as a campaign for a number of reasons, and I still believe that a lot of what I found rough in the earlier campaign would have been improved by, if not the same limitations of the Nein, at least a similarly well-informed character creation process. But that's not something that can really be addressed now, and the appearance of, say, J'mon Sa'Ord is a nonissue entirely unrelated to that.

This is not the first question I've gotten in this vein recently so I'm going to repeat a bit more clearly: I respect people finding that this campaign isn't for them, and as all the above outlines I have had my own issues. However, this is something you should be talking about on your own blog and not my inbox. I probably will answer some, especially if I see a hook to talk about my thoughts, but I'm not going to be terribly validating to you if that's what you're looking for, and I'm not really a good person to vent to if that's all you want.

[denimbex1986]

'Since only recently opting to have a new host each year, the BAFTA Film Awards have had various big names on master of ceremonies duties including Joanna Lumley, Graham Norton, Rebel Wilson and Richard E. Grant. While all popular figures, none managed to get the public reaction of this year’s host: David Tennant.

According to sources at the British Academy, the announcement that David Tennant would be overseeing the U.K.’s biggest night for film on Feb. 18 was met with an overwhelmingly positive response that even they weren’t expecting. Whatever the “Doctor Who” legend’s fanbase may be called (even he says he’s not sure and is “open to suggestions”), they certainly took the news well, and he says he’s “grateful for anyone who thinks it’s a good idea.” But he admits that he’s still somewhat “bewildered” by BAFTA’s decision.

Speaking to Variety ahead of the ceremony, Tennant discusses keeping things friendly on stage, how the interest in what he’s going to wear has matched the excitement about his first “Doctor Who” outfit and why he won’t be aiming any jokes at the biggest name in pop (whether she’s in the room or not).

Are you excited about hosting the BAFTAs?

I am! But I’m a bit bewildered. I don’t know what to expect, if I’m honest with you. The whole thing just feels like one of those experiences you say “yes” to because it would be churlish not to. But what an amazing thing to be asked to do. What a privilege.

What’s your approach going to be when it comes to hosting? Warm and cuddly, nice with a little bit of snark or all-out Ricky Gervais?

I think the BAFTA mood is supportive and friendly. Ricky Gervais is brilliant at what he does, but that wouldn’t be my style. I don’t think I’ve quite got that sort of approach, so I think you just have to kind of be who you are, really. But we’ve got some good material that won’t leave anyone feeling got at.

I imagine you’ve been to a few in your time, but do you enjoy awards ceremonies?

On one level, they’re dazzling and exciting and giddy-making and then the other version is rather dull and rather repetitive. So it’s about trying to edge toward the former rather than the latter. But there are some fantastic films in the running. It’s a competitive year. So I think that will give the awards company itself a bit of pep, because I think it’s quite unpredictable. Very often, by the time you get to this stage of awards season, you kind of know who’s going to win what. But I when I look at the categories, I can’t actually guess many of them. I think they’re all quite wide open. And there’s a lot of incredibly talented people doing incredibly remarkable things in each category. So I think that, more than anything else, actually is the engine to a good awards show.

At the recent Golden Globes ceremony, one of the main talking points from the evening was how host Jo Koy bombed on stage. Did this spark any fear of jokes falling flat or you being met with a silent room?

Not being a comic I feel gives me slight cover. I’m not really expected to be good at any of that stuff. I’m just there to hold it all together. And don’t diss Tay Tay, I think is the lesson to be learned. I live in a house of Taylor Swift fans, so I know better.

The BAFTA stage has often been used as a platform to let off a bit of comic steam about some of the issues of the day, especially politics. Are you going to be using this opportunity to raise any thoughts about the government or current affairs or Scottish independence?

I think it will probably focus on the evening. There’s so much going on in the world that one could talk about. But think it would be probably a hostage to fortune to try and use that platform. Obviously, we live in a world where there’s all sorts of awful things going on and we’re all deeply moved by it. But probably the purpose of an award show at this moment in time is to have a moment away from all that.

Have you managed to watch all of the nominated films?

I made a decision very early on that as the host, I had to remain entirely neutral and not pass comment on any of the films. I’m not talking about any of this. I’m removing myself from it. I don’t want it to look like there’s any sort of favoritism going on. So that’s has been my policy, which I’m going to continue very vigilantly until after the awards show. And then I will post all my opinions about who was robbed.

Yes, you have to be the living embodiment of neutrality on stage.

Exactly. I have to be Switzerland.

Have you settled on an outfit for the evening? Have you got a glam squad and team of stylists hard at work?

I don’t think I’ve ever been in a world where people aren’t quite so interested in what I’m going to be wearing. Maybe when I had to reveal my “Doctor Who” outfit for the first time, that probably had a similar level of interest.'

[wwilsonbarness]

wings

pairings: bucky barnes x sam wilson 

summary: Sam takes Bucky out flying.

warnings: none, pure fluff

word count: 802

a/n: i couldn’t stop picturing this happening so I just had to write it  

Also i'm aware this is probably so inaccurate as to how to ‘fly safely’ LOL but let's just move past that

Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 

I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.

masterlist 

“Sam are you sure this is a good idea” Bucky was looking out the windows of the jet, this was a lot higher than he thought it was going to be. He could feel his heart rate rising the higher they got.

“Bucky this was your idea” Bucky stares at him, Sam was right. 

“I didn’t think we were going to be this high up” Sam started laughing at him.

“Believe it or not, the higher we start the safer it will be” Bucky continues to stare at Sam, clearly not pleased with what he is hearing. “Hey” Sam softens his tone and kneels in front of Bucky, “you trust me right?” 

“I do Sammy” Bucky looks out the window again before continuing, “it’s just reallllly high” 

“I promise you will be fine, but if you really don’t want to, I’ll ask them to take us back down in the jet” 

“No! I will do it” he may have been scared of heights but he was more scared of people thinking he was weak. “Just give me a minute” 

Sam couldn’t help but snicker at his boyfriend, “okay, we still have a couple minutes before we have to jump anyway” Bucky just nodded, Sam could tell he was internally freaking out but was trying to make himself look calm. 

“You ready?” 

“No. but let’s do it anyway, before I change my mind” 

“Okay, come here” Sam ties a harness around Bucky and explains what he has to do. “When we jump, keep holding on to these straps, I’ll tell you when to let go. When I tell you, open your arms out as wide as you can. I’ll do the rest, okay?” 

“Okay, you better not kill us” 

“Bucky I am very good at what I do, you have nothing to worry about” 

“Sam look how high we are, there are a million things to worry about” Sam reaches his head round Bucky’s shoulder and gently places a kiss on his cheek. “I promise, I’ll keep you safe” 

Bucky cracks a smile for the first time since they step foot on the jet but it doesn’t last long, “3, 2, 1, JUMP” 

“OH MY GOD Sam I wasn’t ready!!!” Bucky yelled just loud enough Sam could hear him over the wind. He goes over what Sam told him before they jumped, keep holding onto the straps he thought to himself, don’t let go. But before he could even get used to holding onto the straps Sam shouts right into his ear. 

“Put your arms out now Buck!!” 

“What?!” This was all happening so fast, but he surprisingly liked the adrenaline rush he was feeling. After he took a few seconds to process what was happening he opens his arms out. It’s only now that he actually takes in what is around him, the view was amazing, he couldn’t believe he hadn’t done this before -not that he would ever do it again, he’d rather stick to the safety of the jet.

He would probably never tell Sam how much he was enjoying it, but he had to admit to himself how good it felt, kind of like he was free from everything in that few minutes. Sam could see the slight smile forming on Bucky’s face and couldn’t help but smile with him. 

“We’re nearly down Buck, bring your arms in a bit” There was much less wind now they were lower down so Bucky actually clearly hear what Sam had said and brought his arms in slightly. 

Within 30 seconds they were on the ground, and as always Sam had a gracious landing, even with Bucky stumbling to find balance again.

“So, we going back up Buck?” 

“Nope, never again am I doing that” Sam laughs and pulls Bucky in for a hug. 

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad”

“Sam, that was so high” 

“Bucky, you're a super soldier but you're afraid of heights” Sam joked.

“You keep talking, but next time there’s a spider don’t scream for me to help you” 

“Hey!! Spiders are a big deal!” 

“You’re Captain America and your afraid of spiders, harmless little things” 

“They are far from harmless” Sam replies in the most serious tone Bucky has ever heard him speak in which made Bucky laugh, it reminded him of the last time there was a spider and Bucky came home to find Sam crawled up into a ball on the kitchen counter freaking out.

“I can’t believe I just did that” 

“You did good babe, I’m proud of you” Before Bucky could respond Sam continues, “Even if you did scream like a little girl” Bucky pulls away dramatically. 

“There’s a spider on your shoulder” Sam freaks out, flailing his arms around and screaming. Bucky walks away laughing.

“Now who’s screaming like a little girl” 

[sapphicscholar]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @lilolilyr!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

135 fics total!

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

2,436,430 words (jfc hahah)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ever? Listing them in vague order of when I started writing for them: Supergirl, Wynonna Earp, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Grace and Frankie, This Way Up, Once Upon a Time, Madre Solo hay Dos (just on Tumblr), Abbott Elementary, Hacks, and Julia

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

ALL of them are Supergirl from back in the early-ish days of the show when it was a pretty massive (by femslash standards, I suppose) and very active fandom! It's actually so interesting seeing how absolutely nothing I've written in more than half a decade even shows up, since I've largely switched to smaller fandoms since then.

But the top 5 fics by kudos are:

Stronger Together, a collection of one-shots for various Supergirl ships (with a few gen fics mixed in), which has nearly 5k kudos (WILD to me as someone now in a fandom with maybe 25 people total haha)

Welcome to the Gayborhood, my first ever fic, a looong Sanvers and Supercorp professor AU that still keeps the alien/supernatural elements of canon

6,500 miles away...but getting closer, a Sanvers epistolary fic that my wife and I actually co-wrote and posted 1 letter/email per day every day for many months

Noise Complaint, a Sanvers next-door neighbor AU that, hilariously, given its placement in the top 5 here, is what catalyzed a series of events that led to me very much leaving the fandom (and fandom writ large for nearly a year)

Supercat Sanvers 2020, a Sanvers and Supercat political AU that was maybe one of the last long-form works I wrote before moving out of DC!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I really try to! Sometimes if it's from a person I know well, I end up responding via DMs, esp if there are questions about what comes next, plotting elements, etc., that I don't necessary want everyone to see while the fic is still being posted, but mostly I try to respond on AO3. I've gotten a bit worse in the past few years just because I'll manage to eke out a bit of time to write, which puts me behind on my work, and then I don't leave myself time to respond, and by the time I DO have time, it feels awkwardly late to do so. But even if I don't respond, I absolutely love/cherish/adore/etc. every single kind comment I've ever been given <3

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Forgoten, but not Gone - a Sanvers amnesia AU set post-breakup that's heavy on the angst with a rather ambiguous ending. I got talked into writing a part 2 that resolves the angst haha, but taken on it's own it's definitely my angstiest ending!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Huh idk! Most of my fics end on fairly happy, if a bit open, endings. I'm not a big fan of having all the loose ends tied up, and I realllyyyy don't do the marriage/2 kids/white picket fence epilogue, so I guess maybe the political AU has to be up there because it actually envisions a world where a queer woman wins the presidency on a progressive platform, and that feels rather utopian 🙃

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Not in a while, though I used to back in the days, like super vitriolic shit (big fandoms with too-big emotions, man... which has really kept me away maybe forever from those kinds of fandoms!)

9. Do you write smut?

Haha very much so. I've written and posted before about why, but I really believe there's so much interesting character work and exploration that can be done by exploring characters' pleasures, their desires (both thwarted and realized), their fantasies, etc. Obviously smut isn't the only way to do this, but fanfic feels like one of the few venues where it's a real possibility!

10. Do you write crossovers?

Nah, not really. I've written a handful of bring characters x and y into the universe of another show fics, but that feels mostly different. Every so often I'll borrow vague character outlines for tertiary characters in other fics just to see if folks recognize them (had Grace Hanson as a grumpy background character in a Sanvers fic set at PT for instance hah)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Once or twice, but we got them taken down

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, one of my SG fics was translated into Russian! I'm not sure if it's still up (tbh I can't recall which one; it's been a long time!) I've also had a couple podfics now made of my fics, one of which I still need to go listen to when I get the time!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah! The long-form Sanvers epistolary fic my wife and I co-wrote together, and a group of Supercat authors got together and did a delightfully chaotic round robin, each writing one sentence, then setting a timer for the next person to write the next sentence, etc., until we had Intergalactic Standard Cuddling

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Oh man, I really don't know that I have a favorite! I really appreciate what various ships can offer me at different times - there are certain themes that make sense to explore with one pairing but not at all with another, or certain AUs that work in one fandom but not really in another. Basically, if a show is giving me multiple female characters who interact in canon in ways that go beyond existing near each other, I'm intrigued, and if these characters actually get depth and complexity, I'm probably in! There are, however, some ships that I might not end up feeling fannish/creative about even though I love them as ships (I talked a lot to @trying-to-get-somewhere-real about this recently, actually!), so it's hard to name a favorite when the metrics get all wonky!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

I don't want to say never, but I have a Cat-centric fic that'll end on Supercat that just has a lot of angst that coincided with a period of unexpected loss and grief in my own life in ways that have made it really hard to get back into even now (it just feels so...enmeshed with that moment, even though the timing was utterly coincidental)

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I do a good job with dialogue and getting characters' voices down - I'm really into the character side of things (which is also what gets me invested fannishly in shows! I want a show that cares about developing their characters first and foremost vs. a show where plot takes priority)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Certain kinds of action scenes haha - also I tire easily of writing things that feel repetitive to things I've done/written before (this was more of an issue when I took prompts)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Largely, this isn't something I've had to deal with much outside of maybe a few phrases and sentences from multilingual characters. I've talked before about how it was actually the language/translation barrier that kept me from writing for Madre Solo hay Dos. I don't speak Spanish, and getting a show entirely via the Netflix-provided translations meant 1) I was fairly certain there were some word choice/dialect peculiarities I was missing, and 2) I couldn't catch the rhythms of their speech, the cadence of their voices at least in ways that corresponded to the specific words. For me, voice matters so much, and it really felt like a barrier to not have access to the source language because I felt like I couldn't do these two women justice!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supergirl

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Oh I've answered this elsewhere with 2-3 works, and tbh I don't think it's changed since then! I'm actually far more interested in others' favorite fics of mine because it's so interesting to think about the question of *what* sticks with a person from yours (it's often so idiosyncratic!!)

I'm getting to this pretty late, so I won't tag anyone, assuming many people already have been, but if ya see this and want to participate, feel free to give me a tag! I always love seeing people talk about their own writing :)

[not-made-of-actual-rye]

I'm not done (if you saw my last post). This time, though, I'm not talking about the sick old men who are my band directors. Let's go a little bit younger.

There's this guy I know. His fake name (because his real name makes me feel sick to my stomach) is Aaron. I've never talked about him on social media before, mostly because he's on every other platform of social media I have other than Tumblr (I'd praise god if I weren't atheist)

Aaron always scared me. Immediate red flag, right? 🚩 Well, I met him exactly 10 days after I officially started dating my boyfriend. It's probably a good time to mention (unfortunately) that Aaron is my boyfriend's oldest brother.

If you've seen the other post, you'll know I am in my school's band (this took place before all the shit that made me hate the band directors, mind you, and I still loved band with my entire heart and soul at this point). Unfortunately, my boyfriend comes from a very musical family, and every single one of them is/was an instrumentalist.

On this unfortunate day of December 15th, 2023, our band directors decided it was a wonderful idea to have an alumni game, where all former graduates of our school are allowed back to play again in a pep band game. I'd never met Aaron until this point, and I admitted to my boyfriend that I didn't want to meet him. Again, gut feeling that he was bad news.

That night, he asked his brother to point me out. Me being scared of him (he was also right behind me in the stands) I avoided him as best I could, but being in his general proximity gave me a massive headache that didn't go away for the rest of the night. He was also a very loud player (egotistical bitch) and was bothering other members of my section too

After the pre-game performance, I ended up finding him looking lost in the back hallway that typically only the band members used. Just being kind, I explained to him that most people were out socializing in the Commons, and it would be better for him to wait out there rather than alone in the hallway.

I was unfortunately naive when this occurred, and I didn't realize his intentions when he began using this time with us alone to interrogate me, including questions about where I lived and what my parents did for work. I didn't clock this as creepy behavior until much, much too late, because I assumed he was just being friendly. Even so, when I did manage to escape his questioning, I hid with a group of friends and avoided him as best I could.

As far as I knew, nothing else happened for a couple months (there was actually a lot happening at this time that I'll cover later) until my boyfriend invited me and one of my best friends at the time to a college pep band game that his father led. I had a lot of fun there, and I loved every minute of it (except when my boyfriend neglected to give me literally any important information about this event I'd never gone to despite me begging him to give me details)

At this game and at this college, there's a long-standing tradition where attractive college women will dress in bathing suits and cover up with trenchcoats, only to reveal their bodies whenever the opposing team attempted to score a free throw

Aaron made a comment about my makeup (I like to do more graphic looks including rhinestones around my eyes), saying, and I quote "At least you're drawing attention to your eyes, and not..." and he trailed off but he made it abundantly clear he was referring to the ladies in swimsuits. Especially when he followed his statement up with, "Of course, you're aware of the tradition, right?" He began explaining it to me while I stood there in silence.

For a while, I thought his comment had been funny. It became an inside joke between me and my boyfriend, because, again, I had been naive and not realized it was not only weird but also extremely creepy to be making comments about a 15-year old showing off her body like the adult college students were. (Reminder that he was 25 at the time, and knew my age)

This all occurred on January 20th, 2024. 3 months later (almost exactly) on April 21st, I was visiting my boyfriend's house for the second time. It was going really well, until I forced my boyfriend to show me his phone. I knew he'd been hiding things from me because he would panic every time I got his phone, even if I didn't have any desire to open it. This had been going on for at least 2 months, possibly longer.

For whatever reason, he finally allowed me to see. I looked through his texts when I found they were about me. They were between both of his older brothers. These messages varied between talking about my deepest insecurities (something I'd trusted my boyfriend and only my boyfriend with, not even my closest friends), as well as them berating me for being crazy, psycho, and a red flag. All these insults came directly from Aaron himself, mind you.

I laid on my boyfriend's bed, scrolling through and reading everything they'd ever said about me. He laid behind me, watching. He said mostly nothing, only ever asking if I was okay, to which I couldn't answer by how betrayed and shocked I felt about this whole ordeal.

The texts about me had started back in November, when my boyfriend and I had started talking and falling for each other. He'd gone to his older brothers asking for advice, and they'd given it excitedly, because they'd been wanting him to get a girlfriend for a while before he'd met me. Aaron specifically had been more obsessed with our relationships, even going as far as to make comments about how I better be pretty (his words were "she better not be mid" he then clarified "not attractive")

I cried silently while I read the story of how my boyfriend had told them almost everything I never wanted anyone to know, and even though I knew he'd been hiding something, I never would have assumed it'd be that. I screenshotted the messages (some, not all... I wanted some to remain hidden from anyone who asked to see the messages, because I knew that time would come) and sent them to myself. I sat in his room in silence for a couple minutes just to process everything, ignoring everything he'd try to say to me, and texted his little sister, one of my best friends, if I could hang out in her room for a while because I didn't want to look at him.

I showed her everything, because I figured if I didn't, someone else would, and even though she was younger than I am, she agreed with me that it was messed up and tried her best to comfort me. I stayed with her for longer than I anticipated until I was ready to face my boyfriend again. I went in his room and laid on the bed with him in silence, crying. I said I wasn't sure if I could still love him after that, and even though it hurt seeing his reaction as I broke his heart, he'd broken mine too.

I went home, hiding the truth from my mother when she asked how everything went. I texted my boyfriend and we argued about everything. I officially ended it that night, because I refused to stay with someone who never wanted to be with me forever in the first place.

It was a messy breakup, one that isn't really important to the story aside from knowing about the existence of the text messages and some of the content they contained. Long story very very short, my boyfriend and I got back together after we had a lot of long discussions about the texts.

Essentially, I realized that, aside from my boyfriend telling them things he never should have, he was mostly just asking for advice and answering their questions when the time arose. In the grand scheme of things, it was Aaron (and perhaps the other brother like... once) who was making the nasty comments about me, including not only the creepy comment about my attractiveness, but also sexual things (note that my boyfriend and I never had sex and he knew this).

As if that wasn't enough, the time before my boyfriend and I got back together (we remained friends after the breakup even though we both knew we still had feelings for each other) I learned more about Aaron. A lot of this was from my ex-boyfriend, but some was from his social media (what is with millennials and thinking they should post their every thought online?)

I learned a lot of things about my new enemy Aaron. Some of them included:

His wife, whom he'd married 3 days before my boyfriend and I started officially started dating, was only 3 or 4 years older than me, at the age of 19.

His wife was also homeschooled, never went to college, and had limited social interaction outside of her many siblings and her parents. She met Aaron at either 17 or 18. Aaron, 24-soon-to-be-25, started dating his now-wife as soon as she would've graduated high school at the age of 18.

Aaron has a birth defect (no name was given but I have used this wonderful resource named Google and am making an educated guess in saying it is hypogonadism) which, and I am very sorry to have to type this but it is important, makes it very hard for him to produce sperm.

After only 2 months of marriage, Aaron got his 19-year-old wife pregnant (and I can pinpoint the exact day it was conceived because he told his 16-year old brother, aka my boyfriend, all about it)

Maybe it's just me, but having testosterone issues to the point where you require you're essentially unable to ejaculate (infertility, a common symptom of hypogonadism) and then suddenly being able to make a kid after 2 months as soon as you fuck a teenager? Interesting...

That's all I have to say for now. My hatred for this "man" runs deep, and it will probably be like that for years, but I don't care. I want nothing to do with him

[vampirelover890]

// OC Origins game!

I am once again attempting to treat this social media platform as a social platform. Thank you to @leahnardo-da-veggie for the tag!

Rules: I want to know how you came up with your original character’s names and personalities. Are they based on people in your real life? Are they straight from your brain? Are they a mix of several people?

I already kinda did this yesterday, but this means I get to talk about some other characters in depth!

Anders:

As mentioned in this post, Anders was originally meant to be a much more timid fellow who became more confidant and scheming while a werewolf, but that was hard to introduce as a concept and so the werewolf evolved into his own personality. Anders and many other characters here are born from my curiosity of the human detached from the human form. How humanity as a trait, the compasion and rage of love and hate, all the emotions that make us human, change in the context of a non-human creature. I have no clue how I came up with Anders, but I know that Deephall came first.

Nicholas Killer:

Nick was a name created for the half baked concept that was my first story on here. I remember vividly how the story itself came to be though; I like chatting with my dad quite a lot and was talking about a movie called Nosferatu featuring Willem Dafoe as a crazed vampire hunter, when he pitched me his idea for a vampire story: a crazy guy who is a menace to public safety looking for a vampire that doesn't exist. I took the idea and ran. I don't necessarily like the story in retrospect mainly because it's rushed and I don't feel I developed Nick enough as a character, but it is still there.

Siobhan:

Is a Gaelic name I found on a cool fantasy name generator while coming up for an alias to a character. I never did get to tell that story, even to the people it was for (dnd group) but that name stuck around in my head for a long time. Siobhan was almost another vampire! I'd had an idea for a vampire who lives minimum wage and has to learn and adapt to the customs of an office job, but I'd already done a vampire story and you can never have too many vampire stories, but I wanted to vary it up a bit, and so I landed on a zombie. (Also go check out Leah's Convenience Store Vampire story for something like what I just described) Siobhan is kind of a blank slate personality wise, only learning to use her wretched voice for evil recently, but she does know she causes harm to others when she eats them. She does it willingly. To live. To experience.

Ava:

I had a hard time figuring out what I should write about next, and sat spinning in a chair for about 30 minutes until I realized I hadn't touched on ol' reliable when it comes to writing; a fighting tournament. You can actually see me express my ideas for a wip over on my main blog. I then had another hard time trying to figure out what the basic plot was, and then I came to a name which got me stumped again. The long and short of it is that Ava is named after a character with the same name from Borderlands 3, because that game is fun, and it was the first one that popped into my head. Ava dismembered her family to learn the ins an outs of the human anatomy to truly understand how necromancers work their magic.

I kinda turned this into a Origins of the story rather than the character themselves, but ultimately I had fun talking my brain off to myself about the little fictional people I imagine in little gruesome scenarios.

I leave this to an open tag, mainly because I have no one to tag, and am too afraid to go out and make friends.