#just feeling kind of shitty bc i know that they're mad at me or think that i'm an asshole

[koenigami]

am i an asshole for not wanting to share my notes with uni "friends" who were too lazy to attend some classes themselves? lmao this sounds like a reddit post

[chasedeys]

HI ME ASKING ABOUT JJKOC. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THEM AFTER THAT RAMS GAME. CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 STRAIGHT UP ANGSTTTTTTTT TALKKKKKKKK goddddddddd oh but like. disclaimer lmaooo i keep saying that for all my shit but for real i wasn't really present for that game 😭 i was away for my death i fear so like. i know bits and pieces of that game by which i mean i saw koc mad and jj fucking. devastated. and like. ashen faced. and like. that pr perfect face locker room interview. and answers im assuming lmao truly suchhhh a fascinating man the way he alwayssss has the perfect answer on hand!! was he built this way brick by brick coming into the league lol how has ja'marr differed so loudly from him in this aspect when they're so similar in so many other aspects ANYWAYS MORE UNDER THE CUT 😭 warning mentions of joemarr because of-fucking-course.....

but for real that rams game that i didn’t compute at all bc i was off tumblr and like. came back and was flabbergasted. holy shittttttt. justins face (beautiful. haunting.)…….koc spitting mad (hot. compelling.)……….oh my god…………....

but like. okay. so im like. not that good at angst tbh LMAOOO im more of a crack and joke kind of shitpost feel-good writer i fear but i will delve deeper into Comfort Dynamics!!

the thing is to meeee the way i seee itttttt ->

koc is soooo soft. he's such a?? good coach???? a players-coach is the word people use i think? you can see how much he cares so fucking deeply for his players not just like. as an athlete he has to move around as chess pieces on a board or players on a field but like. as a person. wait sorry i gotta mention this lol i've sent you this when we were like. comparing the vikes and lions game as like a basically who loves their coach more game LMAOOOO (also can i just say. it's objectively fucking hilarious. that dan campbell said. see you next week. to koc. and um. um. um. BUT ANYWAYS.) but do you know depaola has like a mug of my coach is hotter than your coach aksaskfl THAT'S SO???? (justin and harri also have a hawk statue?? with patched up holes these men are so. just. god why are they like this akfaklsf) BUT LIKE you can seeeeee you know that he loves them and they love him and they're comfortable with him!! that's speciallllll arhrgrhrghh soooo happy he's extending lmao BUT TO THE JJKOC OF IT ALL SORRY got distracted by ko's insane charisma lmao

koc's soooo soft, he has sooo much fun teasing his players and them teasing him back, and justin is no exception!!! seeking him out and throwing at him and needling at him and justin doing his nasal ass laugh delightedly whenever ko gets within even 30 yards of his vision and needling him right backkkk they have so much funnn teasing each other its so!!!! cute to me!!!!!!!

like. that's comfort!! that's a nice ass basis to have for a relationship!!!! something to look forward to when you know you're getting to a shitty ass situation and you know you're in the last quarter it's the last 3 minutes and your quarterback (sam....im also so sad about sam btw.....that clip of sam hoisted to the air and ko looking fondly at his team and then. flash forward to their last game. wow.) just threw another fucking pick (i have no idea how the game went btw lmao just that it was um. shit. and sam was um. shit.) because he's throwing to the ghosts of his teammates past apparently who the fuck knows and this is the nth time of your fucking life that you're falling short in the post-season and you're looking to your left and it's your coach and his face is rigid and he's staring at you evenly but he can't keep looking at you he has to be at 5 places at once and you close your eyes and all you can see is darkness but you're the face of the franchise the star of the game there's nothing dark about you not since 20 fucking 19 the stadium lights pulsing into the back of your eyelids as the crowd roars disjointedly pounds your eardrums making you sway and stutter and feel like you're disappearing and reappearing in and out of reality but if you just dig deep you can imagine him—him—pressing his cold fingers into your bicep during winter practice making you yelp in affront and imagine looking up and seeing him laughing at you crinkly eyed and rosy cheeked and so fucking handsome it makes your heart clench up and you hope he doesn't see the way it's leaping forward right at him and he's saying to do your stretches i get you're 20-something but come on now and with that you're shrinking back to reality but you keep that minute paradox of cold-warmth loud-quiet crowded-alone memory to center yourself so you won't break down into tears to be caught in front of all those 4k cameras waiting to capture their next 30 second viral clip to burn over and over and over until you're nothing but just a typed out what a waste of talent there in the vikings get justin jefferson out of there in every single social media account you aren't even really a part of but can't get out of because you have a record breaking contract saying you have to have them. you look to the left and he's gone but the memory of him is etched in you so deep it's enough. you sit on your bench and wait for another chance to fight and it might not be enough but knowing that he's there is enough for you for anything. your hands are so fucking cold but at least that minute warmth isn't just a minute, not really. wow. not rereading all that <3 hope there isn't a typo or grammar error and it makes sense <3 and like not disgustingly corny wow should i reread it.. no ok wow no. BUT ANYWAYS.

justin simultaneously looks like he wants to break down into tears and like he wants to pick a fucking fight. something like ja’marr lmao augh love me a good justin ja’marr parallels why is that i think like. they’re both so good at picking fights and shit at letting people be kind to them. (well no. i think like. justin's better at knowing who he can pick fights with and who he can't. and keeping people away via spinning words and poof they're gone with literally zero trouble. while ja'marr's better at ignoring people because he cares very little for those who aren't really up to his standards whatever the fuck that is. but well that leads to not so good things. but yeah very good at picking fights when they really want to lmao.) and so confused at people wanting to be soft with them. at people choosing to not be like high strung competitive and sharp the way they usually are with each other (which they love and appreciate about each other, btw)!! (see: tee with ja’marr! joe pursuing ja’marr with like. a way that he isn’t used to. a devotion he isn’t used to being on the receiving end. MOREEE ABT THIS IN THE ENDDD which is so very typical sorry).

like justin is not used to. like wait okay so. you see ko poking fun at him!! teasing smiles pokey and jokes and jabs and sharp at times knows when to make it pointy but knows boundaries and that’s the kind of thing he’s used to! that’s the bro ish friendship he’s used to in lsu etc etc competition with ja’marr being a receiver under joe etc etc butttt. kos also so good at like. soothing him. he’s good at picking him apart. being soft with him. when justins needling at him trying to get a rise kos being indulging and when justins purposefully trying to get him angry at him he’s intuitive and gets justin to settle down and breathe. gets him to unclench his jaw lower his spikes soften his brow unsharpen his tiger claws he still wields even if he isn’t a tiger in name anymore and the first time ko ever does this justin runs away spooked new coach what the hell is he doing. i think justin didn't have the best experience with his previous coaches too? not sure abt this lmao but like. koc is definitely a wholeeee ass upgrade im sure. and that’s so. he’s intrigued. he’s charmed. kos always offering him a handsome smile. a warm hand on his shoulder on his bicep on his hip. a little how many times do i have to tell you to stretch i get you’re young but come on now. a little hey made some cinnamon rolls yesterday you want some? c’mon now you’re fit you don’t need any diet grab three i got you. here you look cold wear my jacket keep it it looks good on you. clicking his tongue applying antiseptic on his turf burn and pressing bandages over it even when justin laughs over his mothering tendencies. that overly long ass explanation of his mic'ed up moment too btw that shit was so. why the hellllllllllll did he go on such a long tangent just saying shit about his 'world class relationship' with justin just to say he was mic'ed up while pretty princess justin jefferson laid there all pretty and proper trying to stretch oh my god. ko you are so....and justin you are so......

but anyways. post game. silent. bus ride. plane. vikings stadium? im assuming? restless. justin fucking struggling but he's always been picture perfect. he's already said his peace with sam, who's clearly haunted (i truly do not know what to say about sam 😭. like....girl.......also question is like jj mccarthy playing next year lol. will sam like. return...he's also in the probowl right. which. wow.) and koc finally has a chance to lock in justin jefferson who has been avoiding him for some reason. clearlyyyy this man knows that ko is the person who would. understand him most. who would. pick apart his bullshit pr perfect exterior. then pick apart his next layer of spikes and snarls and a whole other set of perfect words to be said to instigate a fight. always knowing exactly what to fucking say. justin jefferson. is his major communications lmao what the hell made him to be this way i am sooooo. and so koc has his hands all up around the sides of his neck even when jj is snarling at him to shut the fuck up who the fuck does he think he is acting like justin is some kind of child to tend over he's an adult he doesn't need to be coddled over a loss this isn't some high school rusted consolation trophy—and koc has his head ducked down to press over justin's forehead, shushing him, telling him he's so fucking proud of him this season, telling him he's one of a fucking kind, that he's never been so amazed at a player before, that he's never had the pleasure of coaching someone so talented before, that he wished he played with someone like justin—with justin, that he was justin's quarterback, if he was even worthy of him, that he'd do just about anything to get justin a fucking ring, and justin's breaking into tears at the press of skin, at the spill of words, at the sincerest of voice, at the way this man believes in him like no other before, at the way that even with the loss he knows that it never really is one because he has it with him, with koc, so whatever the outcome is—it's okay. god that's corny as shit im so sorry but anyways they kiss. salty as hell because justin's crying all those pent up tears. and ko's kissing up his wet cheeks over his lids pressing down on his cheekbones telling him he's so pretty even when he cries but hey isn't his head hurting why doesn't he let up and show him his pretty smile instead so ko can also get to some healing of his own and justin starts beating at his stomach smiling through his tears complaining thats so fucking cheesy oh my god did he just imply justins smile heals him shut the fuck uppppp. they don't fuck? maybe they fuck who knows. they're exhausted thoughhhhh so maybe they fuck like. the day after 😭

ALSO. IT'S SO. all of justins faces of like. him staring besotted heart eyes at koc is so. wait no i'll talk abt this in the other ask lmao BUT LIKE this is truly insane to me....the hell is wrong with him.......girl the fuck.........and i think like. koc has this man looking at him like this and has him. pupils dilating like crazy....

(a little joemarr off tangent lol boy jjmarr parallels sorry they’re like. twin flames. to me. joes like this to ja’marr too but not exactly? joe isn’t soft per see. he’s so fucking pushy he’s an entitled brat to ja’marr's space at times and that’s the thing that draws ja’marr to him because ja’marr has never once had someone be that into him. be that interested in him as a person not just as an athlete or as a warm body. joe wants all of him and that makes him cave. joes isn’t naturally soft but he’s learning how to be because its ja’marr—it makes him want to be and that fucks ja’marr upppp looking at this man being this way about himmmm is it really a wonder that ja’marrs a bit well a lot lmao crazy about him right back. aauguhgu corny asssss but whatever we move on i have to. go 😭)

also. if i had even a reach of understanding of the vikings rosters personality the way i do the bengals. how is that like oh my god i fucking adore the bengals i could write fucking pages of their stupidity and like. characters and personality??? like i get them?? sort of. obviously surface stuff what they show and what not but like. i can't do it about the other team rosters???? pisses me off. why is that. i watch their shit too. sort of lmao. i think bengals are just. truly my beloved 😭

[jewish-vents]

My entire life, I've yearned for the kind of community the Jewish community and Judaism have provided me. I found out I had Jewish ancestry when I was a kid, I looked into it more later and realized my most recent Jewish ancestor (like three-ish generations back) was almost certainly forcibly converted out, and decided to convert to like. Make amends for that I guess and also because I really vibed with the holidays and how we turn up everywhere in history bc we keep doing cool stuff despite consistently shitty circumstances.

But I digress.

I have waited my WHOLE LIFE trying to experience the joy becoming Jewish has shown me, and that gets shit on constantly.

My sister has started making a truly obscene number of Jew jokes. My mom scoffs at all the 'nonsense rules' and has said repeatedly that she thinks choosing a 'restrictive' religion is dumb and I've made a mistake. She even said it's an insult to HER parenting skills that I would seek out religion after she tried to teach me to know better.

My dad is dead but I never ever in a million years would have told him even if he were alive, and my sister thinks it's funny to threaten to 'out' me as Jewish to his relatives even though they're basically KKK-adjacent so she actually enjoys threatening mg safety at this point. (Yay family right?)

My friends have turned everything into an Israel/Palestine discussion lately and I know damn well what they're doing when they start saying truly horrible shit about Israelis and looking at me. They get mad if I try to temper their extremism so I've given up. I barely talk to them anymore and I spend more and more time with other Jews from temple and I don't want to like. Isolate myself from all non-Jews I guess bc I've always felt like that leads to weirdness and perpetuates shit about Jews being unfriendly I guess idk?

Anyway I digress again. My point is I'm really sick of constantly being expected to tolerate it when people think I shouldn't be Jewish.

Other queer people think I'm somehow compromising my queer identity by being Jewish, leftists think I hunt Palestinian children for sport now apparently, right-wingers think I traffic good Christian babies for organ harvesting or some shit idfk, my friends think that if I'm not being more vitriolic in my hatred of Israel than they already are I'm some kind of secret rabid Netanyahu fan, my family think I've been recruited into a cult apparently and the only other people who show me even an ounce of compassion or regard are other Jews and Gd knows there's like ten of us and that number is unlikely to increase.

Just. Fuck. I've put blood, sweat, tears and money into this, I invested more time and emotional commitment into this than I have into going to college or choosing a career, I love it more than anything and have only loved it more the more I learned about it, and all I get when I express this or even just let slip that I am Jewish and chose to be, I get nothing but hatred. I will never understand how a religion that has spent all 5000 years of our existence minding our business and arguing about the same book over and over can possibly have offended this many people with our existence.

Dmn anon, that is a lot you're dealing with right now. I'm so sorry you're surrounded by people who clearly don't respect you. Because yes this is a lack of basic respect, and it is antisemitic. Now I don't know how old you are and how safe you are, but if you can safely do so, set very hard boundaries. Do not tolerate this amount of disrespect towards who you are. It is hard, and many of us have had to go through similar situations, as you can read all over this blog. But I think having to spend your life surrounded by people who make you feel unsafe and disrespected is worse. I know sometimes there are situations in which people cannot safely set these boundaries, I hope it's not your case, but if it is feel free to come here to vent again.

I know you don't want to isolate yourself from goyim. Many Jewish people don't want to. Sadly, when people disrespect us like this, they're the ones isolating us. It's not your fault. Seek people who love and accept you. Sadly, a good chunk of goyim won't - I'm not saying everyone, obviously, but a portion. Having a good Jewish support network seems to be more and more important, whether it's irl or online.

I hope you can soon be in an environment that's safer and more accepting

- 🐺

[pseudowho]

hi Haitch, its relationship anon again 🤡🫶🏻

Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your kindness and advice! You’re helping me stay level headed here and not become delusional.

Okay now onto the tea-

Following last week’s little club moment, things went (briefly) downhill. I decided to be an adult and take a break from the female friend that I mentioned in the last update. She proceeded to go around our workplace and tell EVERYONE, including one of our managers, that I was mad at her. I was trying really hard to involve everyone else in my business and it really upset me that she did this. In addition to that, I had to take my sister to the ER on Monday and had an incredibly difficult cardiac test on Tuesday, so a bitch was going through it.

When I got out of my clinical on Wednesday, I was exhausted but I really wanted to see my male friend before he left. Was I exhausted both emotionally and physically? Yes. Had I been running around trying to help one patient with Afib and another who needed a midline placement ? Uh huh. A girl just needed some ice cream and to hang out with her favorite a loser.

So, I asked him if he wanted to get ice cream and he said yes :). I showered and put on the most causal outfit possible. My sister asked if I was goin to get more dress up to which I was like “no I just off a 12 hour shift, he should be happy I’m even leaving the house.”.

Anyways! We didn’t end up doing ice cream bc I was nervous, but we instead went out to get drinks with one of our other male friends. I didn’t have to be DD so I was able to actually get somewhat drunk (which was super needed after this week) and my loser was taking care of me. Our other friend kept making excuses to get up and walk away from our table so just the two of us could talk.

Some highlights:

•He was teasing me about falling at work. When I asked him how he knew, he said “I ask about you, duh”

•The way we were sitting, our legs were pressed up against each other. If he moved his legs, he’d still find away to make sure they were touching mine.

•I was showing him my Choso costume and he said “oh you’d look so good in that” and told me he’s going to try to come down for Halloween. I told him that if he came down, I’d dress up as Yuki so he can be Choso. He told me that I wasn’t allowed to show him my sexy Choso costume and then not wear it for him.

•Told me he wanted me to come visit him when I have time off from school, but he understood if I can’t.

•I was talking about cigarettes after sex and he said he knew maybe one song. I got all excited (drunk) and asked him which one. He looked at me and told me it was the one on his sex playlist and then said he was sad that I didn’t save his playlist. I told him I’d save his if he’d save mine.

•I showed our friend a shirt that said “don’t let my big tits scare you, I’m actually a nice person” and I said that I want it, but mine would have to do say moderately sized. My loser said “oh they’re more than moderately sized” (thank you for noticing 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️)

•He was taking really good care of me and was constantly asking me how I was feeling.

•We decided it was a good idea to look up nsfw anime figures and I was pretty much leaning on him as he showed me them and we kept reading each other about them.

•When we were leaving, we hugged for a hot minute and he told me to text him as soon as I got home. When I did, we talked for a bit, but he told me that I really needed to get some sleep.

Nothing too crazy happened, but I’m still calling this a somewhat success! I didn’t get my back blown out but I think I’ll survive 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Okay. It's clear. You don't need this tacky 'friend' in your life at all. They're a whole bucket of shit. You're undoubtedly younger than me, but I assure you, in just a few short years you, too, will be ruthless about cutting out shitty people like this from your life.

At this point, Relationship Anon, you and this guy are two dolls that I'm floating towards each other, and I'm about to make you kiss.

He has a more than moderately sized boner for you.

He want you.

*spinning like a fucking top here*

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[valdangelodreams]

Au9 (my head screamed this at me)

I am, as I'm writing this, bracing myself for this to be found and repercut on me, but I'm posting regardless

-no TOA but canon au

-I've decided this is called the "the right one doesn't have to try" au

-leo returns sooner, this is important

-there's technically solangelo in that Will is trying to flirt with Nico

-actually, the au is that will tries and fails, and leo doesn't try but succeeds

-anyways, nico still does the line thing and Leo still takes it like a champ

-but leo's internally like, wtf? why is he this angry? did I miss a memo? are we friends and I didn't know?

-and so he kind of feels bad, bc he thinks Nico thinks they're friends, and Leo's been kind of really shitty to him

-so he starts acting like an actual friend

-meanwhile Will tries to do romantic shit and it keeps being read as friendly (it's not like, movie romantic, just him showing he cares u know)

-also meanwhile, Nico himself is trying to make sense of why he'd been so mad, cus now Leo's actually friendly and it puts shit in contrast

-also, we know Leo likes creating shit for those he cares for, and now that includes Nico in true fic miscommunication fashion

-some of the gifst could read as romantic coded, and like Nico's obvs having the epiphany of what we all thought when we read that one scene in TOA (u know the one)

-ie, Nico knows he has a crush, and is reading into thingsTM

-actually, this whole au is Nico being terrible at reading signs yet winning somehow

-Leo and Nico get closer, and Leo's not dumb so he immediately realizes Will is into his new friend

-he feels kind of bad, but also not? which he has to process

-I also, at this point in the dream felt kind of bad, but I also found it really funny

-Leo, being Leo, still acts the same despite the mental crisis, but finally does something that totally reads as romantic (unconsciously)

-so Nico is like, holy shit, but he still wants to say nothing, so he does something for Leo in return

-probably makes him something from scratch, cus he figures Leo would appreciate that the most

-this is where my alarm woke me so y'all can have fun figuring out if the sillies ever say anything

-or the much funnier option of them never confessing but still becoming an item

-everyone else finds out somehow, even in the second version

-that's all, I'm gonna go hide now until I think something else up, love y'all

[vole-mon-amour]

3x09, part 1.

The opening with that music is sooo unusual for them? :D Reminds me of circus.

No but the amount of fans there? That's a lot. That's cool, but also unusual.

"Whistle! WHIIIISTLE!" Give him a freaking whistle lmao.

This moment in the trailer is from another angle and it looks sooo much fun there. First Jamie and Keeley, now this. Some poor choices were made in the editing room. Let me see Beard falling!!

What the hell is Isaac doing? Why are they trying to create this fake drama? "I'm mad at you bc you didn't tell me"? He didn't HAVE to tell you. Not even for a second I'll believe Isaac is homophobic. Colin is his best friend, come the hell on.

Scene forward when Colin tries to resolve it and offers to have a bear and a chat, and Issac refuses. Hello???? What IS this???

I dislike this kind of picking on your friend, but the fact that Richard is ok with that and Jan immediately pats him on the shoulder, like, "It's okay, mate." I love seeing those boys being friends.

*whines* Can we, as a fandom, PLEASE jump on the train of Rebecca and Keeley being girlfriends? I've been struggling here alone since s1. There is so much!! possibilities!!! And they look great together. And they love each other. Ahhhh. Ughhhh.

I'm on this boat!!!

"I saw this spa with kittens" Keeley is everything. This show gives me so many ideas. Ok, Rebecca agreeing to go to a spa with Keeley so the kittens walk all over them??? I need someone to draw that, PLEASE?

The way Rebecca looks at her. GUYS. GUUUUYS. That's love.

<3

You know what's going on here? Jamie does the same thing with Keeley. Ot3 when? My tinfoil hat is always on.

LMAOOOO. When two independent women stare you down silently & judge you & suddenly, you're not so tough.

I actually love that they're doing this bc sometimes I feel like Roy is getting too comfortable swearing and acting like a bully and thinking it's ok. I love seeing Rebecca as a boss for real and putting Roy in his place. :') I also think it's bc she tries to protect Keeley, but yeah. I like how supportive she's with Keeley. Girlfriends. Besties.

Jade is the real one. Her look with shitty men, "I see right through your bullshit." I don't buy her buying his bullshit, "he's nice-like." Impossible that she doesn't know what he did to Rebecca and isn't just being nice with Nate about his boss.

You can see that he did that to Rebecca as well & it's creepy as fuck.

Beard nearly had a fight with press. I love that man. The press also loved their time with Beard, so I don't see a problem here. :D Roy is an ass, though, for doing this to Rebecca.

SCREAMING. You honor, there's been a murder. Get Beard back in the room. :D

[phoebehalliwell]

how i would redo the charmed reboot (pilot specifically!) to make me like it more uwu

okay so one of my biggest gripes with season one specifically is how fast it moves i mean like by the second episode we already have the Harbinger of the Apocalypse like woah baby girl let's hit the breaks for a 22 episode season i feel like we really don't do enough meandering i would have really loved to see them fumble around with their powers more so Sorry Harry!! but you're getting dialed back a little. maybe a lot.

anyways

i would have really loved for the girls to unbind their powers a little more intentionally i think what i would have done is had marisol tuck them each away with a keyphrase somewhere in their lives so maybe on the back of the photo of marisol and macy and idk in a card for maggie maybe a congratulations on graduation high school card and an inscription in one of marisols favorite books for written for mel that mel would find after her death. and when macy first pulls up i wouldn't have her roll up during that argument specifically maybe maggie's about to roll out and mel's scolding her or something and she opens the door and boom it's macy!! and she shows the photo and maggie's looking at it like wow but mel's looking on the back bc that note is like the note she left for her and either it's the full spell or the phrases are all linked and mel's like what's that and macy's like oh it's [KEYPHRASE] i don't know what it means and mel's like cause it sounds a lot like [KEYPHRASE] and maggie's like wait that kind of reminds me of [KEYPHRASE] do you think- BOOM blackout. whoooooooooo swirling lights what the fuck? zoom they go up to thru the ceiling. and macy's like okay that's weird so i'm gonna go and maggie's like idk maybe her and mel are still iffy so maggie's like yeah me too and mel's like whatever i'm going to explore and goes up and it's the attic ooh they're never been in there (marisol died elsewhere. idk where yet maybe near a creek if we have a creek anywhere i'm still early in my rewatch. like ooh what was she doing there that was weird but it was bc of the spell of something) and mel goes into the attic and is like what the fuck and texts maggie like there's something you need to see

anyways maggie is at a party thing or something blah blah blah and we'll say brian her ex lover is there and it's thru this heightened emotional/physical connection (about to hook up) that she first starts to read his thoughts. and she's like whoa wait that's fucking weird also um i'm getting this vibe ur still in love with me. so like. i need to end this stat. then maybe lucy catches her down in the dumps and like bonds with her in her weird little lucy way (anyone else ship them?) and maggie's like yeah i'm better and lucy's like yay!! they hug and lucy's like god i hope she makes it thru rush i like her and maggie's like yeah i hope i make it thru rush too and lucy (already p sloshed) is like !!! oh my god that is so weird i was literally just thinking that!! and maggie's like uh oh not better. macy's still out getting drinks with galvin but instead of being mad about the sister thing she's just being really cagey about it and then whenever galvin is really supportive or kind to her something winds up falling off the bar and macy just gets so flustered she goes back to her shitty airbnb and then gets a text from galvin like hey are you alright and when she reads it idk the toaster flies into the drywall or something major. mel i honestly don't know. maybe she's reading about all this witchy stuff and she knocks something over and it freezes very briefly before crashing to the ground.

so maggie pulls back up home like mel somethign really weird happened and mel's like i literally texted you like 4 hours ago and drags her up to the attic and maggie's like what what is this this isn't happening etc etc they argue a bit maggie is exiting the attic mel's tailing her still arguing blah blah blah boom it's macy at the top of their stairs like i'm so sorry to do this but has anything weird happened to you guys. so idk mel drags them up to the attic where she shows them the unbinding spell which happens to be the stuff they said and macy's like yeah to that's not really but BONG CLOCK NOISES BONG ooh it's midnight on a full moon and now all three of them are in the attic ooh something strange happens maybe we color code each of their powers a la the witch of time / witch of space / witch of emotion type deal we end up with in the finale. and maybe some text reveals itself in the book of shadows and it's written in their mom's hand about the prophecy of the charmed ones

[tmwcs]

RAEEEEE GUESS WHOS HERE ABOUT DT SUPER LATE🤩

Me😌

Im sorry BUT NOW IM GONNA START READING IT AND YOULL GET ALL MY LIVE REACTIONS🤭‼️

"Gently rubbing his fingertips along your skin, swaying them back and forth"

RAE😭😭 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO USSSSS, pls pls take our well being into consideration 😔😔

“Good girl... you even know how to pronouce it correctly"

good girl? GOOD GIRL???? AND HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO WINK AFTERWARDS???? im done I cant with this guy

“Maybe….we’ll see.”

Maybe yes, hopefully not😌

“Night sweet thing.”

Boy im no object 🤨🤨 (but since its you saying it, I dont mind as much😋)

“Let us know if you need anything.”

You sir pls?🤯

Gazing at the message that you had just received, you saw that it was from Kurt, who expressed how good it was to see you again. “…Hmm…I wonder….” You mentally noted as you came up with an idea and messaged back.

No no pls dont "wonder" it usually ends bad😨

OMG IM LOOKING AT THE PICS YOU ADDED RN AND IM- SUISHSEESDDD let me suck your dick pls??? (Both)

“You would look so pretty in a wedding dress.”

THIS AND THE PICTURE UNDERNEATH IT????VBYXDGHHHHH, Heejeong does smh unexplainable to me😣

“Yeah?.....I beg to differ.”

SIR???? STOPPPP

“Hey, y/n. I’m finally here, sorry I missed the ceremony, but I’m glad I could make it in now.”

You missed the ceremony what else you here for boy?💀 also rae pls pls dont do what im think you're going to do pls pls dont

You had invited Kurt, as a manner to introduce him to the family since you had recently decided to give him a chance and accept his offer to begin a relationship

Bye.

WHYYYYY TELL ME WHYTYYY???????? I dont even know what to say🤯🤯

Im kurt number 1 hater #kurtkys #kurtleaveynalone #kurtpullasamuelsoicanhaveareasontohateyou

Im never forgiving you for this rae

"Im good Mrs....um..."

Bro doesn't even know the name of his girlfriends mother 💀💀 this is way worse then what samuel did I think I have reason to hate him now😌

Heejeong merely looked down at Kurt’s hand before glaring back up at him….then over to you.

YES BAE IGNORE HIS DIRTY HANDS WHO KNOWS IF HE EVEN WASHED THEM???😨‼️

"Nice to meet you. I’m Kurt.”

No one cares bro you can stop💀💀

You figured they were disappointed that you hadn’t told them about Kurt sooner

Nah babes they're mad bc they want to fuck you

"We’re dating.”

Im so done with y/n

"They were busy.”

Pls keep em busy🙏🏻🙏🏻

"It’s okay….” You bit your lip as you chuckled once more. Leaning in, you whispered out. “Should we try again?"

NO???? how about y'all DONT try again💀

"So..."

FINALLY OME OF MY BAES🤭🤭

"Come again?....”

Y/n bae in the nicest way possible, stfu🤗

"Nuh-uh. Come here, we need to have a little talk, you and I.”

Okay lets talk😋 OMG THE PICTURE????? IM DYING DJJDUDJEJD

“Shhh….come here…..COME HERE.”

Come here and get some~~

ANOTHER PICTURE???? *this user has died*

Okay ill continue dying after i finish this ask 🔥🔥

“Stop! This is wrong! You’re insane, get off!”

Dont stop! This is feels so right! You're not insane, dont get off**** sorry had to fix your typo😰😰

"Dont be like that…..haven’t I shown you kindness and affection?....Haven’t I shown just how much I ADORE you?”

BAE PLS PLS FORGIVE MY DEAR Y/N, SHES JUST BEING SILLY 🤗🤗

"Those are some pretty strong words princess…..are we fighting? Hmm? Tell me…..” placing a hand on your hip, he starts to motion your body to grind against his crotch as he whispers out the last bit. “Are we fighting?”

I might have to resume being dead soon bc oh my god i cant handle this

"Tell me baby….since we’re fighting…tell me what I gotta do to fix it…tell me.

Nothing babe you're perfect 😌‼️ #loveyourself #changeyourselffornoone #beyourself

"Come on baby…tell me what I gotta do to fix it….so we can get along…”

OH WAITTTT, that shitty gf of yours💀 we can get along then👍🏻

No princess….dont think I will……I don’t think you want me to…..that’s okay because that’s what I’m here for…..”

You're right, pls dont stop😣

"Boyfriend hasn’t touched you yet…has he?”

THANK GOD NO 🙏🏻🙏🏻

"Let me fix it."

Yeah this is my last straw, im dead 👍🏻

Okay kids, lets all thank rae for the amazing chapter 🤭🤭

Bro the way I laughed at this….this is…this is gold. I’m literacy saving this right now so I can refer back to it bc this was just absolutely hands down the best Silky. Omg. Lol! I loved that enjoyed the chapter. Bro..the part where Heeseung was like “let me beat it up and say sorry to it with my tongue later” I died lol. Could you imagine? I should have chapter 6 posted by tomorrow maybe since im working on HHP ch 20 rn ;)

[missinconsistent]

Man, I have so many mixed feelings about the "statement" that was made by Elira, Vox, and Ike.

There's a lot of debate if the three were forced to speak on the situation, and I really don't know what's true. But they've burned their bridges with Selen, and it's just really shitty seeing friends have such an awful fallout, and it all being aired to the public of bad actors to jump in and send hate.

I feel disappointed because I do believe the livers should be allowed to speak their side, defend themselves from the harassment and accusations made towards them, and they're allowed to be upset. I think it's understandable they'd feel scared their personal information and jobs are at stake. But there is no proof that the legal documents would ever go public to dox them. They only incriminated themselves further by mentioning they thoroughly went over the legal document shared with them, which was meant to be private.

Vox particularly had a certain attitude that really rubbed me the wrong way. I could understand where Elira and Ike were coming from, regardless if you agree with them, but Vox just sounded so fed up and too combative.

He spends too much time defending management about The Last Cup of Coffee video but the issue of Selen's termination was NOT that she had failed getting all the permissions because, other than some bad actors, a lot of us already understood she broke that rule. But it was literally everything else about the termination and the culmination of events that people are mad about.

Even though Vox said they don't take Selen's "attempt" lightly, it isn't proven with how they spoke about her and the whole situation. It really did feel like they were more focused on trying to paint Selen as a bad person than showing any bit of understanding for her mental health. Imho, they are allowed to be mad at her AND also show her some sympathy. But Vox, only saying they aren't taking her attempt lightly, is basically all we get. Everyone had reached out to Selen after hearing of her attempt, and getting updates through her emergency contact isn't proof that they handled the situation with care. It almost comes off as they were worried about how it would reflect on the company more than Selen's wellbeing.

It is morally grey that Selen had recorded Vox without his permission to get some kind of dirt out of him (even if it is legal in Canada), but using a very specific instance of when Selen broke Vox's trust still doesn't amount to what she went through that drove her to commit an attempt. Vox going to that moment just felt petty because it made HIM hurt that something like that happened to HIM, and HE was willing to graduate with Selen even though HE would never feel that way if it wasn't for Selen pulling his strings..?

With Ike and Elira, they, too, are both guilty of painting a bad picture of Selen in an attempt to save face for the company and their own careers within Niji. I don't like how they did that, but I understand how Elira would be worried about herself and her two close friends in Niji being doxxed. And Ike, as someone who was considered a friend of Selen, would just feel generally hurt and confused about the situation going on. It's not a black and white situation. But I wish they would have been able to express their negative emotions without feeling the need to speak badly of Selen's character.

Even though this is clearly a tough time for them and everyone in EN, I think that video would've come out a little better if they weren't so focused on trying to paint Selen as the bad guy. As a Niji fan, I wish the company- and the livers- knew how to speak neutrally. They could've just been ambiguous and say they felt upset and betrayed, but they are going to keep working with the company bc that's the choice they stand by, without pointing fingers or especially talking about confidential legal documents.

As angry as everyone is, neither of the livers deserves to be harassed. There has been incredibly dehumanizing shit said and done, and if anyone is sending hate or doxxing them, then you are no better than Anycolor. Selen is not the only person to have mental health struggles, and, she's already asked people not to bully or harrass anyone because she knows how shitty it feels. We don't need to push another liver to their breaking point and act like that is any favor to Doki, to Nijisanji, or any community.

Me venting my frustration isn't meant to be harassment towards Elira, Ike, or Vox. I think they're also victims of their management's incompetence. As a fan, it's just disappointing they blamed Selen for all the problems. And even if they never meant to harrass her, shutting down her frustrations and pressuring her to do what's told of her or else she'd been hurting everyone else while no one looked out for her, is probably what led her to feel the way she did. It shows the company hasn't been doing any introspection and are continously having their livers stick their neck out to avoid doing so.

Nijisanji is lucky that a lot of people are giving the three the benefit of the doubt that they are sharing their true feelings and are only forced to have made the video by management. And it would be nice if, for once, management would take the bullet for their livers other than the other way around and just take some responsibility for their actions without throwing their talent under the bus or using them as a shield. Then, if Elira, Ike, and Vox do choose to leave the company, they'd still have a reputation after Niji after everything they've been put through.

[imagoodone-iswear]

i know ive talked abt not liking how things are w my sister... today ive decided to talk to her about why she does what she does. i think it went well and we actually were able to talk abt some stuff... i hope i made her understand that if i get angry its nothing personal, but also why i feel angry sometimes... i hope she didnt think i was just talking without a point... sometimes she has the habit of not... thinking that deeply about things and that can come at the disadvantage of not getting points if they need a more social approach, ig.

like cmon it's not hard to understand that im upset when we shared a friendgroup and then three people just do their own shit and leave out the fourth. idc abt once or twice but that literally happened four times in a row. and then nobody asks themselves that, "hmmm maybe the brother of our friend, who technically is part of this group, would wanna come with..." but then all of them are surprised why im angry and upset and feel left out like srsly... even just talking to me, clarifying that they're not leaving me out, wouldve helped. but these mfs just go n leave me out of everything. there is no consideration for the rest of the group and that is just... upsetting especially as someone w bpd... i explained it to my sister but honestly im not friends w these people anymore like i thought we were a group but apparently im just a standee and these people are sooo inconsiderate. thats also experiences i made on conventions when we went, these two just didnt give a fuck about ANYTHING else but themselves. like i was the one who took note of my sister at those times like mf thats not a friendgroup thats you wanting to be viewed as popular people even though you are egocentrical af and literally dont care abt your "friends".

sorry for the ramble but i really dont like these people anymore and they piss me off so hard. like they're both shitty people but they are engaged... but someone better like me has to fight to even get a fucking hug its so unfair and it pisses me off.

anyway, i just wanted to explain to her why i was mad and upset and why i felt left out, i feel like that kind of open communication is important especially bc i have bpd, so i explained it... i hope she didnt just disregard what i said... sigh.

[daz4i]

putting thoughts in text in hopes it'll clear my mind enough to sleep 🫡 (aka. a vent. maybe a call for advice...? tho idk if there is any)

i feel like. maybe. i'm having such a hard time lately (beyond like, making a lot of big changes in my life and lowkey overhauling it) bc i'm filled with opposing and contradicting emotions and thought processes

i am on the path to recovery. but i don't want it, bc i want to die. i need to put in a lot of effort into doing anything, but i don't have any energy, in part bc i don't want to do any of this. i know in order to be more stable i need to be kinder to myself, but i don't think i should be, bc i don't think i deserve it and idk how to do it and it's not a good driving force for me bc i'm already lenient with myself enough as is and and and look it's all excuses at the end of the day, truth is i just don't want to

i don't know what i want. ig death is the only thing really. unfortunately that's too much effort too (really i'm just scared of the repercussions of a failed attempt). but i can't move anywhere like that. i don't have a direction. bc i don't want anything

but at the same time i do, like. i want too much. and that's the issue ig. bc it's unachievable. and i'm not willing to settle for anything less. bc nothing is ever enough no matter what

my singing teacher kinda called me out on this today lol like how i'm never giving myself any kind words or how i'm never proud of doing good even tho in her opinion i'm already great. i can't ever be proud of my achievements (in general, not just singing) bc they don't feel like achievements to me ig. bc ik there's always better, so what's the point in less, yknow? to compare it to video games. yeah bronze medals or half collections are fun at first but at some point it's frustrating to not get gold or 100%. but it takes way too much work to get there or relies on things you can't even do

not even getting into things ppl in my life consider achievements when i do them, even tho i know they're below the bare minimum for a normal person lol (like any of the mental health shit i do today). not to mention how much i struggle with it anyway, i can't even get through things that are meant to be fun without feeling like i'm dying before during and/or after them

or how awful it feels to be unable to do things i used to. not even when i'm looking far back (<- peaked at 13-14 y/o) but even like, oh last month i was able to complete this task easily, this month i had a severe panic attack trying to do it or ended up being unable to do it at all

i wanna say i'm trying but idk if i am. bc i have no goal. i am definitely putting in effort, too much by my own standards tbh (hence why i'm in a constant state of debilitating stress and why my body feels like it's falling apart all the time) but it feels all over the place, like instead of pushing a boulder up a hill it's pushing multiple of those but on different hills. just running back and forth between them before i can even get a single boulder to any top

idk how to go at it in a different way or a different pace tho. idk how to make it better. i already committed to this program and if i leave it now i won't be able to get it again later in life. and like, i got into it in the first place for a reason, life of Nothing is so fucking boring and i got tired

but before i started it. i told my friend that being this depressed and doing nothing is better than being this depressed and trying to do things bc at least i'm not putting in meanless effort. and he got mad - we had this conversation more than once and he got mad every time - and said i can't know that, and that if i did things i may not be as depressed. well now i AM doing things and as expected i was right!!!!!!! it IS fucking shitty!!!!!! i AM getting worse!!!!! in ways i wasn't before, even!!!!!! and maybe it's bc i'm so fucking stubborn and it only happened bc i expected it too, but it's not like i can turn it off 🤷‍♂️ that shit happened subconsciously

so that just makes me think. again. how am i supposed to get better like this. my own body and brain battle me on every move and make it thrice as hard, things that are already hard as is, and i am very very weak and don't have any tools to deal with hardships (before you suggest therapy, I've been in dbt for years, my therapist just gave up on me bc he already taught me all of it and nothing ever worked bc my brain is fundamentally broken) so in this 2 on 1 battle i am not even armed in any way, obviously i'm getting wrecked no matter what

(one might argue that part of the issue is me seeing my body and brain as opponents rather than just me. and to that i say. bro if you had these they'd be your enemies too, this shit is hopeless, they're built for suffering is2g if you wanna feel anything positive that's a bummer ig. bc you won't. ever. and no amount of therapy and no medication and no life changes seems to help. and it's been 14 years of only getting worse. not that you were doing great before, you just didn't actively want to kys, bc you didn't know it was an option. so. 25 years of getting worse really. god i'm too old to be this fucking useless still lol)

[voidtheacesuccubus]

1. Asexual, recently added Quoiromantic

For further context I am nonbinary, but visually indistinguishable from a perfectly "regular" cis het woman, giving me the classic cis-het-woman-problems in dating as a base line. Like, we're really out there playing among us with a bunch of "nice guys". Somewhere is an abusive asshat, but you don't know where and you're guaranteed to be at a complete physical disadvantage should he try something shitty. Also for some reason it's always a totally innocent guy who gets kicked out of the ship first.

2. Romance in theory nice, in reality gives me anxiety bc I feel like I'm too stupid for it and a partner doesn't feel loved by me

Touching/Hugging only with permission but can be nice

Kissing (with permission) very dopamine printer button, I only care about who does it to me bc shit like herpes exists.

Sex (with consent) very dopamine printer button but I am too stupid for it and get anxiety if I have to come up with ideas myself. And the partner literally doesn't matter outside of my trust issues and, again, getting sick. Imagine the dog meme going "no attraction! Only sex!"

Love nice in theory gives me anxiety in practice bc see romance, very one-sided situation, not because I don't love but bc I can't express it

QPR very new concept to me, feels like the ideal thing the more I read about it though. Kinda what I always imagined a romantic relationship would be before I recently realized damn I'm an idiot nobody(outside of aros) else thinks this way

Significant other I love the idea of having a very close, personal partner to battle whatever life throws at you with, I hate how possessive some people are about them. I am my own person, not one half of a conjoined unity.

One night stands in theory very interesting, I am hypersexual after all, but in practice I have nothing exciting to offer and would be at the complete mercy of a sex-hungry stranger, not a comfortable position to be in when you're *complicated*.

Porn gives me nothing. I'm not a visual type.

Smut of fictional characters I already have some kind of emotional bond to is amazing, can't get enough of it, love you AO3 M rating writers, doing Dodo Jesus's work.

Dates are ugh. Tell me upfront what you hope to achieve, otherwise any hints you place will go right over my head and I will be an anxious mess because of it. Nothing is worse than a guy misunderstanding you and having expectations that don't get met. So I don't actively seek out dates, but avoid them at all costs. Unless they're established friends. I go on dates with my hetero male friends all the time and at this point we're all just laughing about how other people think we're a couple.

Yeah I should maybe have suspected this aro-spec-thing a lot earlier...

3. Most people just put me right back into the allo-box when I say I'm not repulsed by sex, then get annoyed when it turns out I'm not lol. Not that I'm mad, I'm annoyed with myself, too, because it makes obtaining (consentual) sex as a hypersexual very hard.

4. Not really, but I don't tell many people because why would it matter to them, it's only relevant for romantic(-esque) relationships and only one guy ever got that far with me. He was not aphobic, just confused, but same mate, same.

5. I am autistic, which has a massive impact on all this. The alexithymia is strong with me, my connection to my feelings overall is bad, but with romantic feelings it seems much worse. Maybe I can mend this one day, maybe I will not go ???? when things get romantic at some point. But right now this is where I am, which is why I adopted the Quoiromantic label.

And I'm ace bc all people are equally unattractive to me. I can go "nice fashion" or "such skill making that hair" but people overall give me nothing, not a single attractive person on this dirtball.

The Aspec Questionaire

Aspec is such a vast category and one some folks (especially allo folks) tend to treat like a monolith. So I thought it’d be good to do a little questionnaire to demonstrate.

(Skip anything you don’t want to answer.)

1. How do you identify?

2. How do you feel about the following, one word answers are fine if you want:

- - Romance

- - Touching

- - Hugging

- - Kissing

- - Sex

- - Love

- - Queer Platonic Relationships

- - A Significant Other

- - One Night Stands

- - Porn (Video)

- - Smut (Written)

- - Dates/Dating

3. What is the thing you think most people misunderstand about your identity?

4. Have you encountered aphobia in your life?

5. Anything else you’d like to add on the topic?

[thedreadvampy]

I think a huge amount of my issue with how people (leftoids) recieve (leftist, countercultural or similarly aligned) art online is:

a) a lot of it seems to be based on a perceived failure of the art to live up to some radical ideal of Changing The World. this is an issue to me because I don't think art is for changing the world. creating art isn't an act of direct revolutionary praxis the way like, blowing up pipelines or drafting new legislation or building mutual aid networks are. art is there to change you so you can change the world. no art whether it's Disney Film #284367 or some indie antiart installation piece is sufficiently threatening to the status quo in and of itself to Be The Revolution - revolution comes about through connection and unification and art can help us do that. or can help us believe in fucked up shit. but like. it's happening in us not in the art. getting mad bc a piece of art isn't Sufficiently Changing The World is missing the point imo. the question is does it change you?

b) the closer a piece of art is to challenging the hegemonic art institution the more critical we are of it, and I don't think that's down to corporate capture or a failure to notice the institutional issues as much as that people's reactions to institutional art is 'well what can you expect' whereas there's a much more personal betrayal from indie or countercultural art sources. a version of this might be how people have responded to shitty corporate exploitation and abuse at say CDPR vs Ubisoft, or to the value of art made by A24 vs Disney. Or like, in general the reception to artists like Neil Gaiman or Amanda Palmer or Lil Nas X or Rebecca Sugar or Contrapoints who are engaging imperfectly but nonetheless engaging with stuff like race, sexuality, gender, colonialism, capitalist power etc. Like the criticisms levelled are usually valid, it's not that they're wrong or necessarily disproportionate, it's that there much more often levelled at people who are trying to say something we broadly agree on than they are at people who aren't. you know? and I think it's a fatigue thing. like the entire mainstream arts establishment is fucked and full of people and institutions who hold awful beliefs or have done awful things and we can't get mad at all of them. but the annoying impact of that is that collectively that energy seems to land more with, you know, Taika Waititi than Mel Gibson. More with A24 than Marvel Studios. More with Contrapoints than The Quartering.

like we give more critique to artists we expect more of and that's fair enough. except a) this is the internet so it's often not really so much critique as CANCELLED CANCELLED CANCELLED NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN but also b) idk. it feels like when we're waiting for the Perfect Piece Of Radical Art To Lead The Revolution and will accept no less from any art that tries to make any kind of critique of the world as it is, but don't hold the same expectations towards art which is fully hegemonically aligned and within the expected norms, what we've ended up with is a world where

let's say for example

a fun murder mystery about evil rich people defeated by the cleverness of a working class heroine is Bad because it criticised capitalism and racism in a broadstrokes and milquetoast liberal way that won't Change The World, and this makes it Counterrevolutionary Pro Capitalist Propaganda That Is Making You Stupid

but a Disney film about how the US military is great actually and the only problem with it is that you don't believe hard enough in yourself!!!! and in reifying that punching things will fix the world and anyone trying to enact change from the status quo is de facto evil regardless of how correct their complaints are? that's just a fun film, it's Disney, you can't expect it to be radical, just have fun!

Idk it's very wearing.

[theringers]

V-card anon: hi sorry about that first ask i kinda went into a fugue state (spelling?) altered state of reality maybe when i wrote that and damn near outlined a fic in your inbox

The way we played hot seat was either part of a larger drinking game when a certain card was pulled from a deck, or just on it's own. You sit in a circle, everyone has a drink, usually a beer or cider. In the card pull version, the one who pulls the card gets asked a question by every person playing and if they refuse to answer they drink from their drink. In the standalone, you do that but everyone gets a turn being asked until people get bored and leave. Fun way to find out shit about people. Usually the unwritten rule is that you can't lie. I imagine everyone sitting on shitty chouches and chairs in a semi circle around a table full of cups and bottles playing it

Questions i have been asked: are you a top or bottom? Do you like anal? Wheres the weirdest place you've fucked? Body count? Favorite position (sexual)? Fuck marry kill/ignore people in this room (EVERY TIME I PLAYED I GOT THIS QUESTION)? Tits or ass or other? Favorite non sexual body part ex. Thigh? Ideal fuck buddy? Sex regrets? Etc

Also more weird details i have head cannoned out for some drivers and most likely does not fit with irl personalities, do with this what you will, use it or don't i just have feelings. Also everyone is like compressed in age to like 20-27ish except for some of the grid who i will just think of as younger alumns who come back:

Danny R: social chair, owns a jeep he takes the doors off of in the summer, walks girls home at night to make sure they're ok, tries to DJ house events and is rebuffed by literally everyone, has like 30 pairs of vans you trip over in his room, stolen roadsigns everywhere, masters in something arigcultural or physiological, cutoff frat shirts for days, fuckboy but nice, a bit cringe, will drive around with you at night so you can scream, met reader bc she had a band tee on and wanted to talk to her about it (no gatekeeping)

Charles: some kind of engineering or math degree but no one has any idea how the fuck he's gotten so far, 4.0 never studies, games with other house members, will show up at events randomly you will have no idea how he gets on your couch but he is there, the best and worst taste in clothes, is the only one allowed to play the piano in the house, sweet, cannot help you with studies but is always down for helping you out after, has to be reminded to clean stuff, disaster bi, reader met his gf first and they probably met through that

Pierre: good fashion and music taste, shirt is gone halfway through the night, also fuckboy but wholesome, actually studies, plays a sport for sure probably soccer in some way either club or Division he's too good for rec, will hold your hair back so you can throw up, will tell you your outfit sucks, good at math, also part of the squad that games, econ major, workout buddies with reader anday have taken a math class together

Max: is part of the hockey team he will go pro, also actually studies, got into gaming because of Charles, has the nicest car, is serious until he gets a couple drinks in him, he and Daniel are close and roomed together at some point, owns like 30 sets of the same outfit a white tee and jeans, knows reader through Dan and they get dragged by him to some of the same stuff

Lando: is a pledge or new member his big is Carlos, undeclared major, just happy to be here, gaming squad, used to play lacrosse or something equally obscure, king of knowing where the good snacks are, weirdly good at beer pong, growing into a fuckboy wholesomeness level tbd, probably sweet with reader as she helped him through a blackout or something, met her because she's basically house mom for some of the new boys (the kind of mom who will teach you to do laundry or iron ONCE)

Carlos: hockey flow but does not play hockey, actually studies and is smarter than what people give him credit for, came from a private high school and uni really opened his horizons, also good study buddy, gets along with most people, goes to office hours the most out of the actually studies gang, fun at parties, owns the frat dogs, he and reader met at Office hours (they were the only students) and found they had mutual friends too

Lewis: is/was president of frat, great grades greater bod, did full evolution from fuckboy to good man, has the back tests and the moral support, up for late noght talks about life, definitely was a D1 athlete, best fashion game, implemented no hazing policy, fits into notable alum or PhD category

Mick: undergrad like Lando, also plays soccer or something, too sweet, also walks girls home/holds your hair back etc, cleans parts of the house that aren't his responsibility, higher alcohol tolerance than you expect, everyone is bizarrely protective of him, legacy member (his dad was a legend), drives a motorbike around campus and can't decide between law and psychology, actually studies, met reader through the frat and she would die for him, brings her to class on the bike sometimes because the bike is faster

George: business major, frat treasurer, three ring binder business casual in class kind of guy, nice enough, shirt comes off when drunk, runs marathons and a podcast about investments, best notes in the game and great study partner, actually studies, is drinking monster at 6AM but not because he stayed up late, he and reader met through the frat and sometimes drink wine and bitch together

Lance: hockey player, legacy member, studies sometimes, sarcasm on point, great at stack cup, very chill, knows every good nap spot on campus, also has high alcohol tolerance, is the kind of person who does well in the cold but does not like it, wears headphones so people don't talk to him, great one on one but not in crowds, business major and minor in computer science, probably also met thru Lance's gf but vibe as more introverted people and will cover for each other if one does not want to go out

Nicky: a good boy, part of the walks people home squad, sets up designated drivers for parties, good snack game, future in medical field, good listener, pretty good study buddy, midnight snack enabler, met reader through frat and his gf he and reader are on babysitting duty together sometimes when others get too drunk/high

Yuki: also a pledge or new, majoring in games or computer science as they gave me the same energy as him, games squad, bit of a mad lad, has several stolen street signs, good, met reader through frat and Yuki is the only one patient enough to explain some games to reader, they cuss people out on mic

Esteban: good man, has a full ride scholarship, actually studies, also good study buddy, Dan's little, plays soccer but maybe on a rec team because he prioritizes school, very sweet guy as well, probably chose a really practical major/dual major, met reader through Dan and are also dragged similar places by him

Antonio: manbun, philosophy or classics major possibly business dual, generally good natured but can be seen supplying his own wine at parties, used to be really into metal but kept the hair, does not know that people find him attractive, soccer boi, met reader through frat and she's the only one who will (pretend) to listen to him rant about philosophy

Alex Albon: another full scholarship guy, somehow gets along with everyone, switched majors due to an asshole professor, electrical engineering or computer engineering, actually studies, helps with frat pets,will show you pictures of his cats at home, sweetie, another contender for will hold your hair or walk you home, probably met reader through a class or club and found they had mutual friends and that reader is friends with his gf

Notable alums:

Checo - dad, successful in finance somehow (he looks like an really successful accountant of CFO to me idk why)

Kimi - dad but people forget he is, holds the record for most drinks in 24 hours that will never be come close to by anyone else, shows up on random alum weekends with 2 kegs, legally cannot tell you what he does or he would actually have to murder you

Valterri - was good at a sport when he was there, now a very effective lead engineer at an architectural firm

Seb - environmental or mechanical engineering, all around good guy with someone the best grades in frat history

Alonso - legendary for sexual exploits (consensual)

Anyone I put as actually studies is probably the type reader would hang around for more serious stuff/schoolwork and would probably be closer to, with the exception of Dan bc I feel like he'd be like we're friends now :)) we shall hang or Charles bc he will just show up. I also imagine she has a pretty good friendship with any existing gf, however if a driver does have a gf and he is the love interest sorry bb girl u gotta go for the purposes of this fic

Sorry this is so long hahaaaaaaa glad you liked my Charles thoughts ilu

i honestly wasn’t going to share this like the rest of the anon asks i’ve gotten that i keep close to my heart but this was just too good to keep to myself.

LOOK! AT! THIS!

f1 drivers as frat bros/college students headcannon

i’m writing a series - each “chapter” will be a smut with a different frat bro and i’m hoping to post a sneak peek this week some time but here’s something to hold you over and give you some ideas

to my vcard anon - i appreciate this so much. my inbox is always open for ur thoughts bc they are SO GOOD !! can’t wait for you to read the first part of the series bby

PS if some of this doesn’t make sense to u feel free to send in asks (i know a lot of this is focused on american college culture so if u don’t get it i’m happy to explain)

[faggotron9000000]

fully admitting that my roommate Just Sucks and is just kind of a shitty person after doing mad apologetics for them for like ~8mo really sucks lolle

when i moved in here i was really hype to be living in the gayborhood and moving in with another queer person but. i don't know how to be nice about this--

my roommate is one of those white nbs who have like, reckoned with their own gender feelings at least somewhat-- enough to examine their personal relationship to gender, and take some agency over where they're at-- but also have not really changed their life in any way or really spent much time thinking about their political position in relation to other trans people

the "i'm nonbinary, but i'm not trans" crowd, right? right

its difficult to talk about bc i simultaneously really want to open my arms to every person who aspires to something other than what society tells them they have to be, whatever that is, but realizing you are/deciding to be (whatever, who cares, no difference to me) Queer, does not teach you how to be queer.

when i started coming into my identity as a trans man, that personal introspection did not magically give me the ability to understand why other queer people didn't trust me yet. it didn't teach me the visual language for recognizing queer people in the wild, or give me the words to address them respectfully.

so this is how my roommate ends up being really transphobic to me, even though (at least imo, though they might disagree) they're unquestionably included under the trans umbrella.

i've done so much caretaking of the emotions of white nonbinary afabs who project their insecurities onto me and i'm fucking tired. people who think that they can get all the queer education they need by simply introspecting and reading the Identity Wiki until they find something that sticks. you end up with opinions that are based only on your own comfort with no consideration for the context of who you are in relation to the people around you-- queerness ends up contextualized entirely as an internal feeling that comes from nowhere and is totally unmoored from the context of the world we live in.

so you don't think that maybe you are not the first or even tenth person who has told me with a sneer, I want to start T but I'm scared of bottom growth and body hair-- you don't consider that maybe your fucking fear isn't just this super unique individual personal feeling, but is an opinion formed in the landscape that we live in where transsexual bodies are considered disgusting and scary.

you don't think that maybe you aren't the first or even tenth lesbian who has told me that dick is scary and it stops you from dating trans women, because your feminism also begins and ends with your own personal comfort. it doesn't occur to you that considering trans women sexually dangerous because of their bodies is a terf opinion.

we all look at someone like central park karen and see exactly how a white woman's tears can be a weapon, but we don't seem willing to self-criticize in the same way. i can do it-- trans men don't lose the ability to weaponize our tears (or the desire to use that weapon) when we transition, either, and it grosses me out. fear is not contextless or an intrinsic part of the self, and others are not obligated to accommodate fear that comes from bigotry.

it's fucking 2022 and i still have to see posts constantly that act like getting surgery and hrt are a privilege in themselves, that binary trans people are intrinsically more privileged than nonbinary people. i don't know how to explain to people that this is completely unhinged and doesn't track with reality, and believing it tells me that you have not spent any fucking time at all with transsexuals outside of tumblr. it doesn't matter that you don't Literally Hate Trans People if you still end up acting like a transphobe and spreading their bullshit

i'm happy for everyone who finds themselves under the umbrella, i don't question whether my siblings' and cousins' identities are real or "valid" or if they belong here. i think whether you chose to be trans or transness is an inescapable and eternal core of your psyche, you're entitled to that no matter the reason, i'm happy to have you at pride, whatever. but it makes me feel insane that people seem to think we can have a broad umbrella and also claim that there's a strong delineation between Cis and Trans, or that identifying as trans instantly puts you in a different position as the cis person you were yesterday. we still talk about queerness and gender like it's this on/off switch that exists only in your soul, and not a process of practice and evolution and construction that happens over time, in the context of the world around you.

when i point out that white nonbinary afabs frequently do, say, and believe a lot of the same transphobic bullshit white cis women do, its always taken as an attempt to undermine nonbinary identity, when i'm actually begging people to have a little self-awareness for all our sakes. so many times i've seen people complain about "gatekeeping" when it's clear that they have never stopped to consider why experienced queer people might not instantly trust every new little gayby who walks through their door. just this total unwillingness to consider that maybe you are the one who needs an education. maybe you are the one who isn't safe. maybe people don't trust you for reasons that have nothing to do with your identity or who you are as a person, but rather because the world is more fucking dangerous for them than it is for you.

maybe i don't want to hang out with every random freshly-out white afab not bc i think i'm better than them, but because they frequently do the same shit-- they make cruel comments about my body and my gender, they ignore my pronouns, they wrinkle their noses when they see men kissing. they complain about cis peoples' ignorance with zero self-awareness of their own, they complain about mens' egos and lack of emotional awareness while insulting me to my face, they complain about having to do emotion work for men while i'm sitting under a firehose of their feelings about my gender. this has been so consistent that when i meet someone new, our shared queerness is not enough, when so many queers have treated me like this-- and most people that i encounter like this are so obsessed with their own discomfort that they don't consider mine. you have to prove to me first that you aren't going to treat me like that before i'll want to be around you.

idk i'm tired. queer feminism has tired me out. i would like it if the majority of my potential queer social sphere was not dominated by people who think it makes sense to proudly proclaim a queer identity while maintaining a white woman's disdain for anything that instinctively grosses her out. i'm exhausted by the lack of self-awareness re: race and class and how much the world really considers you a freak compared to the rest of the freaks. i'm exhausted by this solipsistic obsession with queerness as a vehicle for boosting your ego and nothing more. in general i'm tired of how much online trans discourse has been dominated by people who have been trans for five minutes and are extremely raw and defensive and have no fucking clue what it's like to be trans when you're ten or twenty years in.

i was a trans dude who grew up in 2014 tumblr and got told constantly that self-sacrifice and self-criticism were my moral prerogative. i think it was unfair that i was saddled with that responsibility when so many other people are not. it hurt to learn those lessons when i was y'know, 21 and super vulnerable, but i did my best and i think i'm better for it-- i'm expected to understand and not take it personally when other people see my gender and don't trust me, but nobody seems to think that's a responsibility that they also share. i don't think it'd kill anybody else to also try their hand at it, too.

it sucks to keep running into other trans people who are like, really weird and transphobic at me in the same ways everywhere i go. if we're supposed to be sharing the umbrella, then maybe you could try fucking acting like it sometime??

[bisluthq]

Mom of many boys (2+) but no girls: best MIL. //

Oh no, my grandma had 3 boys too, and they're all in their 40s now and she still acts like a petty b*tch towards their partners, especially with my dad tho my grandma hates every partner my dad finds

When my mom was in the family they used to treat her so bad like taking the remote control out of her hand so she wouldn't watch TV bad, like my dad cheating on her and bringing other women to his mom's house and my grandma being ok with it bad

My dad has a partner now and my grandma decided to just hate her, she even got my dad's girlfriends neighbors to gossip for her (they live in a small town), wich resulted in a situation being completely taken out of contex by them wich was convenient for my grandma to the point of not even wanting to hear her explanation, and she swears she doesn't like my dad's girlfriend bc of this but we all now the truth

What upsets me is that my grandma loves my mom now and thinks she's a "good woman" for her son but yeah they didn't help with that did they? And my mom just defends what she says about his current partners bc she wants aproval so much but doesn't realise my grandma is just doing with then and she did with her. She raised my dad to be a complete asshole, like getting home from work and being angry that there's not dinner ready yeat kind of asshole

Everytime we're at a family gathering she gets pissed when his girlfriend arrives and even got mad at me once for inviting her lol

Btw I don't like this grandma so much cause she was also a b*tch to me during my childhood and gave me a lot of body issues (ex: I was chubby and she used to call me piglet)

BRUHHHHH SHE SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE.

Y’all are making me feel better about my shitty grandma like I hardcore beef with the bitch and she does now idolize my mom lol like as a matter of principle really (although has still tried to shit stir lol between me and her but in big family settings she’s all about my mom) but like she would never be okay with him like expecting dinner cooked as soon as he arrives but also maybe because she’s like an ex-Soviet lady who rose to like rank of professor in the field of physics and so ergo she basically never cooked when he was a kid. I can’t imagine my dad making that comment though so idk what she’d do if he did do it lol. She’d probably look away but it wouldn’t occur to him.

What she does do now is like she’ll come to my dad’s house and look in the fridge and say to my stepmom “oh shame like should I come bring you some food?” which is just intended to embarrass and is rude and then my dad yells at her and my stepmom runs out like crying because she can’t do yelling and my family YELLS and then my dad drives her home and stays with her for like 3 hours just hanging out and THAT makes his wife mad and that latter behavior is what I think wouldn’t happen if he had a sibling he could ask to help him lol coz he knows she’s wrong but now she’s in a state and stuff.

Your gran sounds like a bigger bitch so thank you.