#just because you want to fuck him does NOT mean he wanted to fuck shuri 😭😭😭 my god

[kindlespark]

CANNOT be getting into marvel fandom discourse in the year of our lord 2022 but you guys have to be more normal about namor and learn about harmful brown/indigenous stereotypes. i get it he’s hot but if i have to scroll past one more dubcon fic or text post calling him a whore/slut for literally standing and talking im going to snap 😭

[wifeofnatasharomanoff]

Gone But Not Forgotten chapt. 1

Warnings: Angst, smut, cheating kinda?, break ups

Words: 2,622

Summary: it's a lot, so Nat and Bruce were together but then you come in, but then Nat leaves you, then Wanda comes in, she gets blipped, so does Bruce because I hate him. (Also Shuri didn't get snapped because why not and Clint doesn't become Ronan)

A/N: @scarlettsandmaroons idea!! hi athy bae

You were a new SHIELD agent, being brought in after the battle in Sokovia. Mr. Stark offered you a room to stay in while the base you stay in is being repaired.

You became friends with the Avengers team pretty quickly, except for Bruce. You don't like him, he doesn't like you. It's complicated. But here you are in the training room with his girlfriend.

“Y/n. You good?” she pulls you from your thoughts, you look up at her. “Uh.. yeah- I'm good I was gonna head out with Maria later maybe.” she stares at you for a couple more seconds.

“On second thought, how about we hang out today?” you turn to look at her, “Why would you wanna hang out with me.” you laugh, picking up your water bottle.

You don't know it but, Natasha's been watching your every move since you were let into the compound. Is it weird? Definitely.

“Because.. we're friends?” she quipped with confusion laced in her tone. “Ha. Friends. You're funny, bye.” you wave, leaving her alone in the empty room.

A few hours later, oddly enough the walls aren't soundproof. You could hear muffled yelling from the room next to yours, then a door slamming. “I wonder what that was.” you mutter to yourself, scrolling through Netflix deciding what show to watch.

A knock on your door breaks the silence.

“...Who is it?” you close your laptop, sighing. “Come in, the doors open.” you see wisps of flame-like red hair as she opens the door. “Natasha? Hey.. what's wrong?” you get up, walking up to her.

“Bruce and I broke up.” you look up at her, pulling her into a hug, rubbing her back. “Aw.. Nat it's okay.” “To be honest, we were falling apart months ago.” she admits, sighing into your shoulder.

“Because I– I don't love him anymore,” she breaks your embrace, looking into your eyes. You furrow your brows, clearly confused. “Y/n I.. would you wanna go out– sometime?” you look at her, laughing nervously.

“I— what?” “Would you.. wanna go out sometime?” she looks at you sternly. “I mean– yes! I'd love to, I honestly sorta' had a major crush on you when I first came here.” you feel heat creep it's way to your cheeks, tainting your face blush-pink.

“Okay. Good. I'm glad.” she cups your face in her hands. “Can I kiss you?” you nod, unable to form words from your mouth.

She presses her lips against yours, backing up to the edge of the bed. She shoves you onto the bed, you look up at her. “Nat–” she squeezes your ass before pulling down your panties.

“Fuck.. you're so wet detka.” you whimper, feeling her light motions on your clit. She pushes a finger into your pussy, making you arch your back.

Lewd noises escape from your mouth, she shoves a second finger in, slamming into your pussy. “Moan for me kotenok, let me hear you.” your moans continuously get louder.

You gasp, blinking slowly. “Natty I'm gonna—” “Do it, cum for me baby, all over my fingers. Just like that, good girl.” you scream, moaning out her name.

“You're doing so well baby..” she slowly pulls out of you. Smiling down at you, she kisses you softly. “That was..” you blush, laughing slightly.

“I'll.. see you later okay?” you inhale shakily, smiling at her. “Yeah! Yeah– I'll see you later.” she smiles, opening the door and leaving your room.

The next morning you wake up, getting out of bed and walking into the lounge room. Waving hi to everyone. You walk into the kitchen, “Hey Y/n.” she rasps out, casually winking at you as if she has no idea what you two did last night.

“Hey– hey Nat.” you grab a mandarin, peeling it as you go sit next to her on the couch. “Give me one,” she looks at you, you smile. “Tasha if you wanted one you could've taken it from the bowl–” she tackles you, getting on top of you.

She smirks, taking a mandarin slice from you. “You're too easy detka.” getting off of you, she sits back in her place. Completely ignoring Bruce's side eyes from across the room.

“I swear to god Romanoff, stop stealing my food.” “No but, I'll steal your heart.” she winks, you laugh. “That was really cheesy Nat.” you look up at her, handing her another slice.

“You could've just asked nicely Natty.” you shrug, putting a piece into your mouth. She looks at you, slightly blushing. “Yeah well, where's the fun in that?” she kisses your cheek, getting up from the couch.

“Trainings in 10. Don't be late.” you smile, waving as she leaves the lounge room. You plop the last piece in your mouth, getting up to leave as well.

You quietly made your way to the training rooms but you hear 2 people talking, walking closer you realize that it's Natasha and Bruce.

"Nat I'm sorry, I love you take me back." you watch them for a few minutes, "Bruce you know I can't.. I–" "What does Y/n have that I don't? Just take me back Natasha." he moves closer to her, they look at each other for some time.

You walk into the training room, faux coughing to show your presence. “Hey Y/n..” you look at the both of them. “Hey..” Bruce ends up leaving the room as soon as you enter.

“What was that?” Natasha looks at you, “What? What was what..?” you sigh, getting into position for training. “Nothing.”

After training Natasha notices you acting off, a bit different than your usual self. You glance at her from afar every few seconds. “What's wrong Y/n?” ... “I told you, nothing is wrong. I'm fine.”

A few weeks later, you're in your room. Natasha's doing mission report on bed, with her laptop at 1 AM. “Tasha go to sleep.” “No I'm not done yet—” she gets cut off with a knock on the door. You groan,

Who could be at the door at 1 AM?

“I'll get it.” she gets off of the bed, opening the door. You glance at the door to see who it is, Bruce? You watch her look up at him, leaving the room. “Nat—” she was already gone by then.

You sigh, getting up and following them. "Bruce I already told yo–" Natasha looks at him, "Nat we could leave the compound if you want,..." muffled words, you watch them. Gasping quietly, running back to your room.

A few minutes after you get to your room, you hear a knock. “Uh..c-come in.” you see her open the door. You clench your jaw, putting on an act. “Hey.. did– did you see what happened out there?”

“What, that you kissed Banner?” her eyes widen slightly, not knowing you caught them. “Kotenok I can explain–” “Don't. Nat, you kissed someone else and out of all the people, Bruce. If it was Wanda I wouldn't be as mad.” she rubs her temple, looking down at you.

“Baby please.” you get up from the bed, facing her. “I know you want to get back with him,” you went on, “And– I know that you don't love me.” you look away from her. She steps into your place, cupping your face.

“Y/n I do love you!” “But you love Bruce more. Admit it already.” she forces your face to look at hers. “..So I guess this is over?” you defeatedly nod. She sighs, “Detka are you being serious?” “Ye- yes.” you hesitate, forcing your gaze away from her.

“Y/n–” tears form in your eyes, “Natasha please. Leave me alone..” your voice cracks, words start to come out as sobs. She takes her hands off of your face, tears pooling in her eyes.

She goes to the door, looking back at you. “I love you, Y/n.” the tears that once sat in your eyes streamed down your face. “Natasha just go.” she leaves your room, you let out a choked sob.

Sitting on your bed, missing the strong arms wrapped around you. The flirty whispers during team meetings, training sessions, her. But she left you, for him. You should've never let her in your room that night.

You cry until you can't anymore, heavy tired eyes. Sleep slowly taking over your body, you pass out into a deep sleep.

The next day you wake up, Natasha and Bruce leave the compound. Was there anything that could've changed things? No. You believed that she would pick him everytime.

Three years later you find yourself in bed with your girlfriend. Who? Wanda Maximoff, the sweetest girl ever. You loved her and she loved you. This year was going so well until? Thanos and his freaky 'family', Children of Thanos or whatever had to fuck it up.

You were called back into the old Avengers tower that you all used to live in before recent events, splitting the team of one into two.

You spot Natasha and Bruce across the room, tearing your eyes from them, as Wanda whispers something to you. “Wanda!” you giggle, struggling to cover up your laugh. “Stop it.” “Whaat.. I didn't do anything..” she bends down to your ear again. “Yet.”

You blush profoundly, struggling to make up a response other than playfully hitting her arm. “Wanda.. we are in,” you poke her shoulder. “The middle of a very important meeting.”

“I would rather be in the middle of your legs maylsh.” you widen your eyes, “Wanda. Not here, no.” her eyes turn back to it's natural green state, smirking at you.

Little did you know Natasha was staring at the both at you. Bruce knew this of course, he always knew that she blames herself for your break up. Even when it was his fault. He never apologized, he couldn't care less.

Wanda planned to propose to you after the battle, the 'Infinity War'. After the meeting for the whole battle plan, you went back to your old room with Wanda.

“I remember this place, I used to force you to watch sitcoms with me here.” you smile at the memory, “Yeah.” you look around, seeing as the room is how you left it.

Looking down at the covers of the bed, noticing tear stains. “Y/n?” your gaze snaps back to hers, “Uh.. yeah?” she gets close to you, putting hands on your waist. “You seem distracted darling.” your breath hitches slightly, biting your lower lip.

“Mm.. mhm?” she takes one hand off of your waist, cupping your face with it. Pulling you in for a deep kiss. “Mhm.” you smile at her as she unclothes you, pulling you into bed.

A few hours later, everyone flies to Wakanda for the big fight. You quickly lose track of where Wanda went, fighting off some alien. You hear a scream on the distance, running off to where you think it may be.

Thanos snaps his fingers, Visions dead, a hole left in his forehead. You watch as the people around you start to decrease. Wanda. You spot her on the ground, “Y/n– what's happening I can't move..” you start to panic, tears welling in your eyes.

“Wanda, Wanda everything's alright. Okay? You're okay.. you–” you pull her into an embrace, praying. Wishing. That everything would turn out fine. Gasping as you see your lovers lower body turn to dust, her face contorting in pain.

“Hey.. Wands re- remember what we said? About getting married and– having a house in a little neighborhood? Hm?” You pull her closer to you, “Malysh I can't– I can't feel anything, am I dying? I–”

You widen your eyes, tears escaping them, and rolling down your face. “I love you so much Wanda please don't go, please not yet.” she finally figures it out, accepting her fate. Holding her fading body to yours, “I– I love you too Y/n.” she smiles, as she completely turns to dust.

You scream, completely breaking down into sobs. Chanting her name over and over again hoping she would just appear back. Knowing she won't.

You feel a hand grazing your back, you flinch. “Wanda?” you say, turning to look behind you. “Nat–” she pulls you into her arms, holding you tightly. “Shh.. detka everything is gonna be alright.”

Your muffled cries into her shoulder, “Nat she's not coming back– Wanda she's gone I–” she hesitates, bring a hand up to your back, rubbing it gently. “I know kotenok, I know.. it's okay, everything's gonna be okay.” you pull back at the nickname, her face surprised, slightly confused.

“Don't think that her being gone gives you any right to ever. Fool me again Romanoff I'm not falling for your lies twice.” she steps back slightly, shock displayed on her face. “Y/n I–” you weakly get up, walking away. “Save it Natasha.”

You eventually go back to Shuri's lab, having to get any injuries checked out. “Are you okay Y/n?” you send her a reasurring smile, “Yeah I didn't get stabbed, or..”

Turned to dust.

Shuri hands you some clean clothes, you thank her. “I know that we lost the fight but, I– I'm glad you're still here Shuri.” you hug her, telling her that everything's gonna be okay, knowing her brother got snapped too.

“I'm glad you're here too.” she broke the hug, “Now go get changed, you're getting dirt in my lab!” she joked, making you laugh on your way to the changing rooms.

Opening the door, leaving the changing rooms you see her. “Listen I'm sorry.” you nod, exiting the room. “Okay..?” you walk off to the lab again. “Bruce got snapped too.” you look up at her, “Am I supposed to cheer? Why would that matter to me?”

“You and I both know I never liked Bruce, before you and I had sex and after.” she furrows her brows, looking down at you. “Sex? Y/n–” you interrupt, “Nat you broke up with me 2 months after, we can hardly call that a relationship.”

She felt her heart shatter, the 2 months she's ever felt loved felt even farther after what you had said. All she did was nod as a response, “Yeah. I guess so.” Shuri calls out to you, “Well– I'm gonna go..” she mouthed a "Bye" and you waved goodbye, leaving her alone.

A couple weeks later, being brought back to the compound by Steve. You see her again, she looks terrible. Well, she looks beautiful as always but, tired.

“Hey Cap' what did you call me here for?” he sighs, bringing you to an empty room. “It's Natasha. She's my bestfriend, everyone can tell something is wrong with her. I'm just worried, maybe you could help us.”

You sigh, pondering whether or not you should help. “Fine. But if it doesn't help don't call me back here again.” you leave the room you were in, going back to the lounge room.

“Hey Nat..” she doesn't look your way. You sit next to her, “Natasha, everyones worried about you. Is it because of what I said?” she stays silent, her gaze flicking to the side of your face.

“Because if it is then forget it okay?” ... “But that's not what I want to do Y/n. I don't– want to forget it.” you furrow your brows in confusion, “Nat please–” she turns to look at you.

“I don't wanna forget Y/n.” She moves closer to you, “It's like you invaded my mind, I can't ever forget you. I never loved him, as much as I love you.” she slightly widens her eyes, hoping you didn't notice the accidental confession.

“Natasha you–” she quickly gets up, not sparing a glance at you. “I– I have to go.” she runs off somewhere, “Natasha wait!”

She didn't wait.

[cuddl3s4shur1]

Ur Bestfriend

Letitia Wright X Black Reader

Summary: After Enjoying time out with tish naven dosent feel to good about you and tishs relationship.

Authors Note: Thought about this during the making of the 200 follower

Timeline: After Wakanda Forever

Warning:Arguments

Inspired: A little bit by the music video 🤏🏾

Taglist: @tuesdaylovesu(wifey fr) @letitias-fav @writesbyriri @randomhoex @locoforshuri @womenlxver @lunax0654 @niaalove @atssukoo @adeola-the-explorer @shuriislut @ziayamikaelson @shuri-my-love @saintwrld @xxmilli @malltake12 @secretgyals @2k7-sparkles @yvxmpire

Taglist Form

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4: Jealousy

ㅤㅤ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ˖ ☞ ࣭ ࣪ ᩠ ֗ ✦ ࣭ ࣪ ˖

Y/n’s Pov

You and tish had just made it back to your apartment.She decided she wanted to treat you with taking you to the mall and some other stores . Even though you never wanted her to do it she insisted.You walked in your apartment and drop the bags in the living room. “Where were you” Naven asks you looking at the bags than you.”Tish took me to the mall” you say as you wipe your hands on your pants. “You been hanging out with tish a lot lately” naven says in a disgust “She just wanted to treat me and give me gifts” you knew overall she shouldn’t have to treat you but she wanted .”But I’m supposed to treat you “ you nod . “Okay I’ll just tell tish to stop” .

“Tell tish what” She says as she walks in from behind. You turn your head to see her coming in with the rest of your bags. “Well naven believes we have been spending to much time together “ you say looking at her . “Well you have been spending to much time together and tish I don’t need you trying to take care of my bitch “ naven says at the last part you give him the biggest death stare. “Well with all she’s telling me about you she sure does need me to treat her right “ She says getting defensive. “Listen I don’t need you getting defensive over MY BITCH I just want to know why you have been going out with her a lot “ You look at him with a side eye “bitch ?” You overall knew your self worth so him saying that he knew you where on his case “You know I didn’t mean it like that “ You look at him confused. “Woah im not going to let you call her a bitch” she says sticking up for you. “Aye your not apart of this conversation “ Naven says cutting tish out of the conversation. You look around to see who’s he calling bitch . “There’s only 1… 2… 3… people on this room which means it’s only 1 bitch and it’s sure not me, Tish isn’t a bitch I know that for a fact because she knows how to treat a lady right more than you,so that leaves one person YOU “ You say being serious . He knew he just fucked up so it would be a hard recovery. “Aye you know I’m not no bitch “ he says you roll your eyes . “Bro you do this all the timeee , You say some outa pocket shit but when I say the same you get all mad if you know you gon get mad don’t say the shit tf “ You say At this talking with your hands . “I do not” He say’s obviously lying .

Naven did this all the time he did it in your last argument. When he said something he knew was wrong you would say it back so he knew how it felt. He hated when you would do this but you felt like if he dosent want to get called that he shouldn’t say it to you. You would often express that to him but you knew he didn’t give a fuck.

“Mhm whatever you say” you say rolling your eyes.”Now look this only started because of tish so I’m going to let you guys talk that out because it’s like 6 and your party is at 10“ You say slowly making your way to the bedroom. You close the door and begin to breath . “Woah Me and Naven are definitely going to have a talk "

Letitia’s Pov

Y/n walks in the bedroom leaving Naven and I to be in the living room together. “Look I know you my homie but I don’t need you to take care because you know I don’t want her to think I can’t take her over” Naven says . “I get it but she’s my friend and you know I care for her” Naven Rolls his eyes and grunted . “What “ I ask him confused . “You know she’s mine right “ he says trying to check me .”Yeah I know that,what are you trying to say?” I question him . “Your jealous “ I look him crazy I guess he doesn’t know . “Jealouss me” I say being sarcastic . “Your jealous that me and y/n are together” he says . “Mhm “ I respond . “Tell y/n ima get going “ I was right now starting to get tired of him . “Wait can you take me to the store to get some party decorations for tonight”. With naven he never apologized he would just ask for a favor and say yes . “I guess”.

I turn on the radio for the car waiting for naven to get his wallet . I feel my phone and I check to see what it was . Naven opens the door and I open the message . To see a picture of y/n .

👜✨🤎Mini Me 🤎✨👜: Wishing you where here

I look at the pictures admiring her beauty . “You good “ naven says as he breaks the silence. “Yeah just looking at a message “ I respond and close my phone . I place my phone in the cup holder. Than I pull off .

Hopefully i can get over her at party .

[mickimomo]

Everyone's reaction when Shuri said she was sleeping with Namor:

Excerpt from Chapter 4 Storm (nsfw)

Book 3 of The Sun and The Sky

This is the link

“Are we going to act like you weren’t holding hands with someone when you came in.”

“Oh no. I held someone’s hand.” She mocked.

“Enough of this nonsense.” He kissed his teeth. “Are you fucking a fishman too?”

“When I want to.” She shrugged before grabbing a grape and popping it in her mouth.

M'Baku:

M'Baku was suspicious and needed a confirmation. Unfortunately, his suspicions were correct, and now he's livid.

Shuri:

Shuri came to the party for her best friend. Now, if you wanna f around and find out, she has no issue keeping it 110% real. M'Baku poked around and found out. 💀 And she does not care.

Namor:

K'uk'ulkan is impressed by Shuri's forwardness. Sure, it could have been worded better. But better out than in, am I right? 💀 But now he's gotta be cool, calm, and collected because M'Baku is pissed.

Attuma:

Attuma been knew and he does not care. He's just vibing with the woman he loves. 🤣😭

Okoye:

Okoye was the first Wakandan to know of their relationship, but she has to act like she wasn't to avoid getting pulled into the fire. She supports it, as long as Namor keeps it cute.

Ayo:

Ayo was suspicious from the jump, but didn't want to say anything. But now that she knows, she doesn't know what to say.

Everett & the Dora Milaje:

Everett is kinda shocked, but this ain't none of his business. So he's gonna mind it. And the Dora are on the same page with him. 🤣😭

Aneka:

Aneka is impressed, but low-key wants to know why she didn't get to know sooner.

Oni:

Oni is feeling a lot of emotions, but she refuses to act on them because this is only her second day back in Wakanda and maybe she's missing some context. Because why else would her best friend be messing around with the man that drowned the Queen of Wakanda? Welp. If Shuri likes it, she'll love it for her.

Namora:

Namora never really cared for Attuma's pursuit for Okoye or Namor's pursuit for Shuri. However, after throwing hands with a certain priestess two times, she may understand where they're coming from. While sitting next to, said priestess, she's not studying anyone else in the room but her while eating. But that doesn't mean she won't run her spear through anyone who dares to run at her cousin, so M'Baku better check himself before he gets wrecked. 👀

[myfancastings-blog]

The MCU still has a villain problem.

Are any of these villains going to come back stronger than ever, challenging the heroes into a bigger evolution of their character? No.

Either they’re never gonna come back ever or if they do they’re going to be somewhat antiheroes. Every rendition of a superhero franchise in Hollywood does not know how to write long-term villain characters.

Let’s look at dr. doom in the comics. Why do people like him? is it just because he’s a cool villain or a villain with misunderstood motives? That’s the surface level reason. It’s because every time he comes back and featured in a big way in the comics, The scheme or plot that he’s devising can very well be accomplished. Basically there’s a possibility that he’s going to win. No matter whether or not you agree with him, The fantastic four or whoever in the Marvel universe has a lot on their hands. He’s a villain that started out from ” I want to control the world“ to “I want to control the universe”.

He’s a villain that evolves that forces the hero to evolve. That’s good writing. Hollywood writers don’t know how to do that. Either they’ll kill them off after the first movie and will never see them again or we’ll never hear from them ever again unless some other writer decides to pick up where they left off. Turning them soft, into a somewhat misunderstood character. Look at what they did to the Abomination in she hulk. I mean look at Agatha, she’s coming back as an antihero in her own series. And Namor, most likely he’s gonna come back as a hero in the next installment of something. For example there’s going to be some type of next level avenger threat that’s going to happen. The heroes are going to need some extra help. Shuri it’s going to be like, I know a guy who could help us and then we’re going to have the Talocan people in the background fighting kang forces during the last epic fight scene.

Hollywood does not know how to write pure straight up villains. I mean look at Lucifer. They tried to make the fucking devil into an antihero.

I’m not saying the MCU villains are lame. They had their purpose and they were portrayed excellently by the actors. I’m just saying that we live in a world where we’re never going to get another Chris Evans Captain America movie where he fights the red skull again. Or Heath Ledger like joker returning to Challenge Batman again. I mean you at sabertooth in the comics versus him in any of the wolverine movies. Do you think the new MCU version is going to do half the stuff that Victor Creed did to Logan in the comics?

Loki was featured in 9 different projects, but he was only kind of a villain in two. Thanos was just a cameo until he became the big bad in two films.

Let’s look at Lex Luther, Wouldn’t it be interesting if we got a Superman trilogy, where he becomes more in hinged and a bigger threat to Superman with each installment. A type of trilogy where the hero becomes a better person with each movie meanwhile the villain becomes worse at the same time.

In film school, one of my screen writing teachers told us to never write a villain as a villain, but as a character that you want the audience to understand. That’s why we always refer to them as antagonist and not villains. They are somewhat an extension of the main characters story, And that works. But what if you need that antagonist for the next story. They did their job already in the previous story so what else can you do with them for the next. This is what every screenwriter in Hollywood is taught. Villains or antagonist are not being looked at as returning returning characters as antagonist to the story.

Namor and Talocan we’re definitely a major threat towards Wakanda. But are we ever going to get another story where Namor decides to wage war on the rest of the world anyway, without Wakanda help. A movie where Talocan decides to invade America. Where Sam Wilson’s Captain America teams up with Bucky and the rest of the thunderbolts to defend the United States? That sounds pretty cool but that’s never gonna happen, because Namor when featured again is going to be a hero.

A resolution is necessary. The audience wants to feel complete, Otherwise what’s the point. That’s why we always criticize Batman for throwing joker in prison. He’s gonna break out and do it again and again. But then what’s the point of the next Batman story. If Batman kills the joker then the joker has won. Every principle that Batman has for not killing his villains is thrown out the window.

You could still tell a finalize story and tell another one using the same characters. These are superheroes from comic books, ongoing stories similar to novela and soap operas. If the studios and the fans want franchises then it can’t just be one and done stories. It doesn’t work that way.

Even in real life, if all our problems are resolved in one day then what’s the point of getting up the next day. There’s always going to be threats caused by The same thing. 10 years ago America and Russia weren’t on good terms. Now guess what’s happening again. Back then Idiotic groups who called themselves superior are trying to harm and degrade people of color. Now we got other idiotic groups to call themselves white nationalist Who are trying to do the same within social media. The fight never ends, it’s how our heroes tackles each battle one by one that matters.

Ultimately what I’m trying to say in terms of MCU villains, they have a problem writing them for a long-term purpose. That doesn’t mean they’re written or acted badly. It Just that there are no longer viable characters after their first encounter as The main villain. They are used as extensions of the main character. Not as extensions of the shared universe that they’re trying to showcase.

That’s the problem that the MCU has with their villains.

[mypoisonedvine]

Can I request some vibranium arm action with bucky?👀👀

got a couple requests for this so, yes!  final one of the night!

“What can it do?” you asked, meaning it rather innocently at first, but the look in his eyes was a bit less than innocent.

“A lot more than it could before,” he explained as he opened and shut his fist, moving his fingers in a wave pattern.  “It can heat up and cool down pretty fast, handy for keeping drinks warm... and it can vibrate.”

“V-vibrate?” you repeated.  

“Yeah, not the whole thing... just the fingers...”

“Why...” you began to ask but trailed off.

“It was Shuri’s idea,” he shrugged.  “She figured somebody would appreciate it someday.”

“Has anybody?”

“Not yet,” he grinned, “so I haven’t really had a chance to test it... technically I don’t even know it works.”

There was a moment of silence as you both waited for the other to suggest it.

“Should we try it?” you both said at once.

You had meant, though, that you should go back to your room and try it.  He, however, ended up slipping his hand down the front of your pants right there in the kitchen.

“Bucky, what if someone--” you began, but then he found your clit and turned it on.  “Oh, fuck.”

“So it works?” he grinned, pressing down harder as you grabbed onto the arm for dear life and nodded quickly.

“Oh my god, please-- put a finger inside me,” you whimpered, having to bite down onto your lip to keep quiet when he one-upped you and pushed two inside, keeping the vibrating thumb trained on your clit while his pointer and middle fingers, vibrating even stronger, curled into your spot.

Your knees went weak and his free hand had to grip your arm to keep you upright.  “Does it really work or are you just sensitive?” he asked, voice rough and deep compared to normal.

“A bit of both,” you answered hoarsely.  “It’s been a while since somebody...”

“Since somebody made you come?” he finished for you, more blunt than you expected.

“Yep,” you agreed.

“Want me to break that dry spell?”

“Just keep going and it’s not gonna take you much longer,” you warned. 

“Good,” he encouraged, pressing his body closer to yours and putting his lips against your ear.  “I want you to come.  These fingers can feel, you know... I wanna feel you come around them.”

Well, you couldn’t exactly say no to that.

Either the vibrations were really getting stronger or you were just becoming more tender as your orgasm hit you like a train, a gasp tearing from your lips and your eyes shooting wide open as your channel trembled around the vibranium digits.

“Good girl, keep going,” he whispered, as if you could stop now when he just kept thrusting his fingers into you faster.  In fact, you actually had to push him away to make him stop when you thought the pleasure would become too painful, and the vibrations slowed to a stop before he pulled his hand out of your pants.  

The metal looked even shinier than usual with your come coating it, and he brought the fingers to his mouth to suck your arousal from them; looking right at you the whole time, too, which is actually considered attempted homicide in some countries because it made your heart stop.

“Can’t taste you well enough, just taste the metal,” he frowned.  “Guess I’m gonna have to get it straight from the source.”

[blackbat05]

I need a break

Shangqi x Reader (Platonic) 

A/N: I feel like I’m loosing steam towards the end of my placement and wow I have never needed a break this badly before. Perhaps a short Shangqi x Reader imagine where they are both University students. Seriously at this rate I’ll just be solely a Shangqi writer HAHAHA. Doing this on my phone because I don’t want to open my work computer. Let’s see where this impromptu idea takes me to. Hope you enjoy it and as always like and comment if you wish!

Genre: PG-13

Warnings: None really, just friends supporting each other! I guess there’s an inaccurate timeline if you look at the MCU but hey this is an imagine plus if you look at some of the wiki pages, Shangqi is actually born in 1998/1999. So appreciate if you’re kind enough to go with the flow to read this comfort fic! 

‘Y/N!’ Shangqi rushes to catch up with you after class. You made an effort to conceal your tiredness but he saw it right through. ‘Gosh…you alright?’

You think to yourself. Were you really alright? The answer was pretty obvious. You were ten weeks into your placement and your emotions were a jumbled up mess. Having to deal with work responsibilities was one problem, school assignments were another issue all together. At this point, you felt like you were just getting through each week for the sake of it.

At first, you believed that what you were going through was simply a transition to becoming an adult. You thought that naturally, you would be able to persevere through the stressful periods by yourself. But of course, it has been hard.

You were a social work intern at a neighborhood youth centre, thirty minutes away if you took the train and bus. The work was fulfilling in it’s own ways, but recently there were self-doubts filling your brain, if you were really cut out for the job in the future. If you weren’t, what else could you do?

As you sat with Shangqi in the school’s student-ran cafe, you found yourself pouring out the exact same concerns to him. Credit to him, Shangqi never interrupted your monologue, he just simply listened. That’s what best friends were for. That’s what you did for him to when he ran into issues with his family.

Even then, he couldn’t deny that hearing you doubt yourself broke his heart. He had known you since high school. You mostly kept to yourself and one or two close friends. Despite joining the school’s athletic team where you were one of the main athletes, you preferred to stay in the shadows unlike some of your teammates. That didn’t stop you from going out of your way to help other students in need; like helping the girl who was in an arm cast to copy the social studies notes, even if it meant you had to do it twice. Or maybe just talking to a friend who was stressed out about their results.

Basically, you had studied your ass off to get a secured spot at this university who were only one of the few that offered the degree. He remembers you telling him the moment you got your offer, ‘I’m finally good at something. I don’t have to worry anymore!’

Shangqi wasn’t stupid. The pandemic had done some crazy things. And by crazy, it affected the self-esteem that you had been working so hard on by participating in various projects and events, with you being in charge of a drama production that was promoting on mental health. That was a big deal considering that you were a major introvert.

Online engagement was never easy. In fact he has heard some of your struggles that you’ve shared with him regarding this and it only makes him admire you even more. For someone who preferred to keep to themselves, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, to take on a role that wasn’t just simply about helping people - that took guts.

‘I’m sorry I’m just loading you with all this. I just feel…’ You trailed off, suddenly becoming emotional again. Again, Shangqi does not pry. ‘That I can’t do anything right.’ You emphasize that you had ended the statement for you were unsure that you could keep your cool if you had tried to continue on.

‘If I hear you saying sorry another time,’ he chides, ‘you’re paying for our meal later.’ Your lips curved upwards slightly before returning to its somber position. Shangqi decides that a meal won’t cut it. He needs to deploy ‘Operation Y/N’. Standing up with your buzzer to collect the food, Shangqi whips out his phone. There will be a few changes for today.

Food was definitely a cure in this situation, but it was only a part of the solution. After inhaling your ramen at light speed, Shangqi tells you that today will be a different Friday. ‘And you can’t complain! It’ll be a weekend tmr,’ he tells you. So why not? You figured that even if you went back home early, your head wouldn’t be in the right place to complete the essay for your English module.

‘Hold up! The VR studio that Katy was talking about?’ You look at the tickets inside the taxi that was taking you and Shangqi to the location. ‘How did you even, it was so hard to get these tickets!’ From the time Shangqi met you outside the classroom, he had yet to see you so ecstatic. Until now.

‘Well,’ Shangqi gives his best shrug. ‘I called in a favor from a friend. Said that it was for emergency purposes.’ He raised his fingers to make connotations in the air much to your amusement.

‘Wow… just how much do I not know about you Mr Popular?’ You teased. Shangqi decides to leave the fact on him having to persuade the Wakandan Princess in giving him free tickets.

‘Please! I swear whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it! It’s for Y/N!’

‘Ey well why didn’t you say so? If it’s for that nice friend, of course!’ Shuri leaves the entrance of the compound, an exasperated Shangqi trailing behind.

Yeah, the VR studio that Katy told them about was also funded by King T’Challa himself. With stunning life like visuals thanks to Wakandan technology, the VR studio was located in a middle class neighborhood. T’Challa believed that no matter where kids came from, they should have the right to enjoy and to explore the world. For now, he wasn’t ready to share that he was on the way on becoming a full-fledged Avenger yet - you just had too much on your plate. He’ll just have to settle with this white lie.

‘Is Katy coming?’ You were on the verge of vibrating off your seat. ‘She would love this place!’ Even when you were struggling, Y/N still manages to think about other people. Today, Y/N will put her needs first.

As if to answer your previous question, you can see an equally excited Katy waiting for the two of you at the roundabout. ‘HEL-LO EVERYONE! LET’S GET OUR FRIDAY STARTED IN PROPER SHALL WE?’ Her loud voice had attracted stares, some very displeased looks too but at this point in time, you didn’t give a damn. Katy was right, it was time to enjoy!

You wished that you could slow down time, or even replay it continuously when you needed cheering up because the only thing you felt was pure happiness - euphoria even. Your stomach was in knots for laughing hysterically together with Katy when Shangqi jumped in shock from a surprise scare from a zombie. ‘I’m keeping that for leverage,’ she tells you, quietly slipping her phone into her fanny pack. 

The Wakandans had really outdone themselves this time. Your favorite VR was the paradise VR. Slipping the headgear, you say goodbye to the smiles of Katy and Shangqi, whisking away to a beach that oddly reminded you of your dream destination - Hawaii. From where you were standing, you were surrounded by green and majestic islands. Despite their sheer size, you weren’t intimidated. In fact, you were healing. 

Your mind was no longer in the room of the VR studio. How could it when the sun kissed your skin, giving you the much needed energy that you were lacking for so long? In the room, the two sees you kick your shoes to the side, going barefoot. It may have seem strange, but with the monitor beside you, your actions were perfectly logical. 

As a kid, you used to despise the prickly feeling of sand in between your toes. But now, you grew to love the sensation that each grain of sand had on your skin. It made you feel grounded, that everything was going to be ok. You raise your virtual hand to touch your face - were you crying? 

‘She must have been really stressed huh?’ Katy whispers to Shangqi who nods in return. How he hated the fact that you were giving so much to your work but still felt underappreciated. Forget the Avengers with superhuman abilities, you were the true MVP. The VR ends and you remove your headgear. ‘I’m ok,’ you automatically reassure them despite the dry tears left on both cheeks. You step down the platform slowly, trying to regain sense of the real world. 

What you didn’t expect was the two embracing you in a hug, squishing you in between them. Maybe that had set off the waterworks. For someone like Katy, she had sage advice.

‘Life can be pretty shitty right? But I’m so proud of you fighting it Y/N. Just remember that it’s ok to be weak. I mean, I’ve seen worse from Shangqi,’ she jabs her finger towards his direction, earning a glare from him. That’s Katy, always trying to add a bit of humor to this grey world. Calming down, you let go of the both of them. ‘Thanks guys, for everything.’ 

‘Hey,’ Shangqi responds, slinging his arm over your shoulder. ‘We’re friends, so we don’t leave each other behind.’ Phone beeping, he retrieves it to check the message. ‘And look at that, nice timing. Who wants Korean BBQ?’ 

Trailing behind them, you get an amusing view of Shangqi bickering with Katy on how many Soju bottles she’s allowed to order later. As San Francisco welcomed the night, you were just thankful that you had the two of them to walk through this crazy maze called life. 

‘Last one to the shop is paying!’ 

‘Oh you’re on Mister!’  

A/N: I really just think that this was also an imagine for me to cope too. So I can only hope to finish my placement/assignments/exams well! To anyone who does studies and work simultaneously, I fucking respect you (allow me to use expletives for now, these people deserve the respect). If you’re going through a stressful time, I hope this brings the slightest comfort for you and remember… YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Again, thank you for reading! 

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

After All

Character: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Just because Bucky pushed her away doesn’t mean he knows how to let go.

Word Count: 2,100 - One Shot

She looked beautiful. Too beautiful. Bucky didn’t know why she put in such an effort for this schmuck. She didn’t need to put in any effort at all to be beautiful. And if some guy didn’t know that, then he didn’t deserve her. 

The bar had giant windows with no curtains or treatments to hide its patrons from outside observation. They did it on purpose, to hypnotize the people walking by and pull them into the romantic and dark lighting…and overpriced cocktails. 

But Bucky didn’t just notice how beautiful Y/N looked. He could also see how bored she was. Her smile was forced. He could almost hear exactly what her voice sounded like as she talked to him. Bucky would tease her about it, always knowing when she was being polite but wanted to find an out from a conversation as soon as possible. She called it her “customer service voice.”

She was probably smarter than him, Bucky thought. She was smarter than most people – maybe not Stark or Shuri, but she had her own genius that neither of those two possessed.

The only thing that could possibly make the people on the street notice Bucky’s lingering was the white vapor that appeared from his mouth every time he sighed. Which he seemed to be doing every time he noticed another piece of body language from Y/N that further proved her disinterest in this man.

It was cold, making everyone hurry to their destination, not paying him any mind. But Bucky didn’t feel the weather’s coldness anymore. Once you spend a lifetime frozen, nothing really compares.

Bucky stood up straighter when the two started making their way out of the fancy bar.

Y/N shifted her weight, not sure what the man’s next move was going to be.

He awkwardly went in for a hug.

She gave another one of her fake smiles, said her goodbyes, and started walking away.

“Not even gonna get her a cab or walk her home, you bastard?” Bucky breathed with irritation.

Men these days. Him and Steve still didn’t get it.

But he figured Y/N was glad to be done with him.

Bucky walked in the shadows of night as he kept his distance behind her. They were only a few avenues away from her apartment.

But he swore she was walking slower than usual. Like she was trying to make the journey home longer.

When they finally reached the stoop of her building, she took the steps slowly. But instead of putting her keys into the lock, she just stared at the door for a moment.

What was she thinking about? Bucky wondered.

Then Y/N quickly turned around and skipped down the stairs. She hurried across the street and made her way into the park that was directly across from her building.

She walked with more purpose now. Which made Bucky realize what was happening.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

He took in a deep breath before he followed her into the park.

Y/N sat on a bench in almost total darkness, waiting. If it weren’t for Bucky’s super-soldier sight, she would be practically invisible to him.

Bucky rubbed his face and watched her for a few moments before he made his way over.

Without any warning, he slowly sat down on the other side of the bench.

She didn’t react, didn’t even act like someone had invaded her space.

She had been waiting for him.

“What did I tell you about going to parks at night?” Bucky finally asked.

She scoffed, but didn’t look at him. “Yeah…Well, putting myself into danger is always the quickest way to get you out of hiding.”

She wasn’t wrong.

“He seemed nice.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Oh, fuck off, James.”

She’d stopped calling him Bucky once he broke her heart.

“Is this the part where you try to lie and tell me you liked him?” Bucky challenged with a smirk, even though there was absolutely nothing funny about the situation.

Y/N finally turned and looked at him for the first time. “What exactly are you mad about, James? That I went on a date with him or that I just went on any date at all?”

He was silent for a second. “He’s not good enough for you.”

“You’d say that about every man,” she challenged.

“Yeah, and I’d be damn right.”

Y/N shot up from the bench and turned to face him. “I’m trying!” She snapped.

Then she paused, trying to get her emotions in control. But she wasn’t successful since her eyes glazed over with tears. She managed to hold them in. “I’m really trying.”

Bucky then stood up from the bench. His body always went into a panic when Y/N cried. He felt sick to the stomach when he was the reason for it. But these days, he was always the reason..

But he couldn’t comfort her like he used to. He wasn’t allowed to touch her anymore.

Y/N sniffed, trying to play it off as if it was due to the cold instead of her unshed tears.

“You have to stop following me,” she told him as sternly as she could.

Bucky shifted his weight, but stayed quiet.

“James, I’m gonna call Steve if you keep doing this.”

And he knew she would. What he didn’t know is what Steve would do to make sure Y/N’s commands were followed through.

And it wasn’t just Steve who sided with her after the breakup, the whole team did. Any of them would love a chance to return to Y/N’s life in some way and give Bucky a piece of their mind on her behalf.

Breakup. Is that even what it should be called?

They didn’t stop loving each other. Even though Y/N hid that with the hate she now held for Bucky.

He didn’t think it was possible for someone to hate a person as much as they loved them, but Y/N seemed to do it effortlessly with him.

“We can’t do this anymore, Y/N. I have to stay away from you.” 

The words still haunted Bucky’s nightmares. All it took was one stupid article. Her full name, where she was from, what she did for work – all accompanied by a photo of them together. If it had been paparazzi, Bucky would’ve clocked the camera. His training would’ve sensed it, noticed the signs. But it had just been some asshole and their iPhone.

“How did you figure out I was tailing you?” He asked, ignoring the threat of Steve.

“Following,” she corrected. “You look like the fucking unabomber, James. You’re trying so hard to hide that you stick out even more.” She looked him up and down, taking in his black leather jacket over his black hoodie that was pulled over his black, nondescript baseball hat.

But in reality, she knew that if Bucky wanted to be completely untraceable, he would be. Which meant that he wanted her to notice him.

He didn’t realize he was doing that.

Y/N stared at the ground, scared to look into his eyes now. “I always think that I feel you watching me.” Then she glanced up at him. “But then I realized that was just me missing you.” She shook her head, embarrassed to be admitting that to him. “It wasn’t that I could feel you watching over me, it was me hoping you’d come around the next corner.”

“I miss you, too.” He admitted without hesitation.

Y/N closed her eyes and winced. “Don’t say that to me.”

“But it is true.”

Her eyes remained closed, but not even that could stop the tears from falling this time.

“Why do you have to make this so hard, Bucky?” She whispered.

The use of that name knocked the air out of his lungs.

He took a step toward her.

But she immediately took a step back. “Don’t. Please don’t, Bucky.”

“Y/N…I’m…I’m so sorry,” he muttered.

“How does this make anything better for us?” She breathed.

“I just…I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Well, I’m not!” She bawled. “Is that what you want to hear? That I’m miserable without you? That during all of these dates, I’m just comparing them to you? Is that what you want to hear? Is it?”

“No! For Christ – no, Y/N.”

“Then what do you want me to say?” She demanded.

“Nothing. You don’t owe me anything, Y/N. I know that.”

He stepped forward, it was a risk and he knew it. But she didn’t cower from him this time. Bucky slowly reached forward and wiped the tears from her cheek gently.

“I’ll never stop worrying about you. I get anxious, thinking about what could happen.”

“Well, I stopped being your responsibility when you broke up with me.” She knew that was her broken heart speaking, but she had to give it at least one round.

Bucky nodded, knowing he deserved that.

Y/N looked around her. “It’s been almost a year, Bucky. We can’t keep doing this.”

“I know,” he mumbled as he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground.

“We need to move on…if that’s even possible. We have to try either way.”

“I know,” Bucky repeated.

But he also knew he could never replace her. However, she deserved to fill the bleeding hole he left after he broke her heart.

“Goodnight, James.” She told him coldly.

He just nodded.

But she hadn’t moved yet.

Before she could change her mind, she stepped into him and Bucky immediately opened his arms to her. She buried her face into his shoulder. Her senses took him in, memorizing every detail. His cologne. The feel of his leather jacket that he’d broken in to perfectly mold around his body. His inhuman body heat.

Bucky did the same.

When Y/N pulled away, her eyes locked to his like those blue irises were magnets.

“You should get home now, doll,” he whispered as his gaze flickered to her lips. His hands were caressing her face now.

She just nodded, feeling the new tension.

Bucky leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead.

It took every ounce of strength she had to walk away. She wouldn’t let herself turn around and look back once she started walking. But she felt his eyes on her, watching to make sure she made it to her front door safely.

She knew he wouldn’t leave until he saw the light turn on in her bedroom.

Y/N counted to 1,000 before she allowed her crying to start again.

-----

Bucky turned the light on in the kitchen.

“Bucky…”

He had been dreading this. “What? What do you want, Steve?”

The other super soldier leaned in the doorway with his arms crossed. He was giving Bucky the look that no one wanted to get from Captain America. It was the look of disappointment.

“Y/N called.”

That was all Steve needed to say.

Bucky ignored him and poured himself a drink – vodka on the rocks. It was Nat’s hidden stash. But he’d deal with that tomorrow.

“You can’t push her away and then shove yourself back into her life whenever you feel like it. That’s not fair to her and you know it,” Steve warned.

Bucky threw the vodka back before he countered with, “You said you understood why I did it.”

“Yes, I understood it. I didn’t agree with it. And I definitely don’t agree with you continuing to torture Y/N and yourself.”

Bucky tried to pour himself another glass of vodka, but Steve ripped the bottle from his grasp.

“Are you even listening to me?” Steve growled.

“I stand by what I did!” Bucky shouted. “I did what had to be done! And I did it so she could be safe, so she could have a fucking life!”

He caught his breath and his hand rubbed across his face. “I know I shouldn’t go see her. I know that. But…But I’m only human, Steve. I can’t help it.”

Steve sighed, his sympathy now outweighing his anger.

He gripped Bucky’s shoulder. “I know, Buck.”

“I’ll stop. I promise. I owe her that at least.” Bucky bowed his head in shame.

“I’ll check on her. We all will.” They would do it so Bucky didn’t have to.

“Thank you, Steve.”

“Just get some sleep. OK, Buck?”

He nodded, even though he stopped really sleeping when she was no longer in his bed.

------------

I wrote this about a month ago and obviously didn’t want to share it with how much everyone sucks on here. 

Figured I’d give this site a chance to redeem itself, but not getting my hopes up. 

I’m still on “hiatus” or whatever, and not really interacting with people on here. 

If you really miss me that much... One Shot – Masterlist

(Also, friendly reminder that just because a fic is old, doesn’t mean you can’t comment on it anymore.)

[wizardofrozz]

Echoes of the Past

Bucky Barnes x Super Soldier!Reader, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Clint Barton, Wanda Maximoff, Tony Stark, Scott Lang, mention of T’Challa and Shuri

Word Count: ~3.3k

Warnings: swearing, mention of violence, mention of past trauma

Chapter 7

The air was perpetually damp, leaving condensation on the walls and every piece of fabric that wasn’t their prison issues outfits, slightly sticky. (Y/N) laid on the floor of her cell, staring up at the ceiling, her hands folded over her stomach, listening to the buzz of electricity and Sam’s soft humming from the cell next to her, trying to keep her mind off Bucky.

           “Hey, (Y/N),” Sam called, his voice followed by a faint pounding.

           “You know I can hear your voice, right? You don’t have to knock to get my attention,” (Y/N) called back, rolling on her side to face where Sam should be.

           “Whatcha doing?” (Y/N) smiled despite the situation and shook her head, flipping onto her back again, resuming her staring contest with the ceiling.

           “Staring at the cracks in the ceiling,” (Y/N) replied, working her hands under her head this time.

           “That’s not a bad idea,” Sam confessed, and (Y/N) could imagine his brows lifting towards his hairline, making her smile grow.

           “How sad is it that staring at the ceiling sounds fun to you,” (Y/N) laughed, letting her eyes fall shut to focus on Sam’s voice.

           “It’s better than drowning in my thoughts,” Sam shot back, his tone light regardless of the dark meaning behind his words.

           “Well, wanna-“ (Y/N) was cut off by the loud groaning of metal, and she sat up, scrambling to her feet to press herself against the front of her cell. If she stood just right, she could see Sam and Clint standing at the front of their cells, too, staring at the door near Clint’s cell.

           “What the hell was that?” Clint yelled, turning his eyes towards Sam and (Y/N).

           “The doors are opening,” (Y/N) shouted back, wincing at the way her voice bounced off the walls of her cell. “I don’t know who the hell wants to visit this shithole, though.” The three hovered at the front of their cells, waiting to see who would walk through the door; after what seemed like hours, the door popped open, revealing the last person any of them expected to see.

           “The Futurist, ladies and gentlemen!” Clint shouted, his clapping echoing off the chamber walls. “The Futurist is here! He sees all! He knows what's best for you, whether you like it or not.”

           “Nope,” was all (Y/N) had to say before pacing back across her cell, lingering near the back. She mostly managed to ignore Tony’s voice until it was so close that he had to be standing at Sam’s cell; she wandered a bit closer, trying to avoid drawing his attention but wanting to eavesdrop.

           “How’s Rhodes?”

           “They're flying him to Columbia Medical tomorrow. So... fingers cross,” Tony sighed, shifting his weight. “What do you need? They feed you yet?” (Y/N) jerked her head back but moved closer, just enough to see Tony’s face, assuming he had an angle he was playing.

           “You’re the good cop now?” Sam laughed bitterly.

           “I’m just the guy that needs to know where Steve went,” Tony admitted, taking a step closer to Sam’s cell.

           “Well, you better go get a bad cop because you're gonna have to go Mark Fuhrman on my ass to get information out of me,” Sam snapped and (Y/N) couldn’t stop her loud snort.

           “Eavesdropping isn’t polite,” Tony chided, leaning back to meet (Y/N)’s eyes.

           “Well, I’m a criminal, so what the fuck does it matter,” (Y/N) shot back, raising a challenging brow, and this time it was Sam’s turn to snort.

           “I still can’t believe you’re Steve’s bestie,” Tony mumbled, shaking his head. He stepped back enough so he could see both cells, tapping on his watch a few times before glancing between the two. “Oh, look at that, I just knocked the ‘A’ out of their ‘AV’. We got about 30 seconds before they realize it's not their equipment.”

           “Why would we tell you shit,” (Y/N) sneered.

           “Just look,” Tony sighed, holding up his phone, projecting a holographic image of an unfamiliar face. “Because that is the fellow who was supposed to interrogate Barnes.” Tony looked at (Y/N) one more time before turning his eyes on Sam again. “Clearly, I made a mistake. Sam, I was wrong.”

           “That’s a first,” Sam snorted, leaning against the front of his cell.

           “Cap is definitely off the reservation, but he's about to need all the help he can get. We don't know each other very well. You don't have to….” Tony trailed off, looking down at his shoes.

           “Sam,” (Y/N) drawled, not convinced Tony was going to be helpful.

           “It’s alright, (Y/N),” Sam sighed, still not making her feel any better. “Look, I'll tell you… but you have to go alone and as a friend.”

           “Easy,” Tony hummed, smiling at Sam.

           “Siberia,” Sam sighed, leaning against the glass of his cell.

           “Where exactly?”

           “Ask (Y/N),” Sam chuckled, wandering away from Tony. Tony glanced at her, pouting when he saw the devilish smirk plastered across her face, already anticipating how much this might cost him.

Time seemed to move differently in the Raft; without windows, they had no idea if it was morning or night unless they based it on their three meals a day. From what (Y/N) could tell, it had barely been two days since they were hauled in from the airport, but it felt more like two years. (Y/N) tried to keep her mind blank, not letting her thoughts wander to the brunette assassin hundreds of miles away. It hurt too much to think about what Bucky must be going through seeing Siberia again, so she focused on the buzzing of the radio beyond the door, ignoring the sting of tears threatening to fall.

           “Hey, (Y/N)?” Sam called, distracting her from listening to the guards' radio.

           “What’s up, Sam?”

           “Did you ever wonder what it’s like to travel in space?” Sam’s voice sounded close, like he was lying on the bed on the other side of the wall opposite where (Y/N) was sitting.

           “Not really. Why do you ask?” (Y/N) called, smiling at the wall, silently thanking Sam for a distraction.

           “Guess I was just thinking about where Thor is, which led to wondering what space must be like,” Sam replied, a sigh following.

           “I feel like it would be beautiful,” (Y/N) voiced her thoughts, imagining the boundless galaxies stretching on forever as a ship tore through space. “Imagine all the stars.”

           “I’m kind of regretting never asking Thor what it’s like,” Sam huffed. Something banged against the wall a few seconds later, making (Y/N) jump until she heard the muffled ow that followed. “Fucking tiny beds,” she barely heard Sam grumble.

           “How’d that feel?” (Y/N) laughed.

           “I wish you could see the finger I’m giving you through the wall,” Sam shot back, making (Y/N) laugh harder, doubling over and resting her head on her knees.

           “Hey! No fun allowed,” Clint yelled, his voice light and amused.

           “You’re just grumpy that we left you out,” Sam shouted.

           “Damn right,” Clint called. (Y/N) kept smiling at the spot she assumed Sam was, a few lingering giggles falling from her lips; when the room fell quiet again, (Y/N)’s face slowly fell, her eyebrows furrowing. If she focused hard enough, she could make out the faint shouts from somewhere above her; she looked up at the ceiling, jumping when she heard a thump muffled by layers on concrete.

           “Guys!” (Y/N) shouted, scrambling to her feet. She climbed onto her bed, trying to hear what was happening above them, but it seemed to fall quiet again.

           “What’s up?” Clint yelled.

           “You good?” Sam asked, his voice closer.

           “I think something’s going on above us,” (Y/N) called back, jumping down from her bed.

           “What is it?” (Y/N) paused at the sound of the other female voice, hurrying to the front of her cell to look out and, surprisingly, finding Wanda peering out into the open area.

           “Hi, Wanda,” (Y/N) yelled, grinning when the redhead looked over with a barely-there smile.

           “Back to the matter at hand,” Clint pressed, leaning his arms against the front of his cell. (Y/N) opened her mouth to answer when a much closer shout cut her off; Scott was the last to scramble to his feet, joining the others at the front of his cell.

           “I don’t like the sound of that,” Scott announced, his eyes darting around the room.

           “Everyone get back,” Sam ordered, waving them away from the glass. (Y/N) watched Wanda disappear first, followed by Scott and then Clint, waiting until Sam took a few steps back before she retreated too. The sounds of fighting and yelling was getting closer until the door near Clint’s cell was the only thing between them and whoever was here. (Y/N) heartrate skyrocketed when the lights outside their cells went dark, leaving only the faint glow from the interior lights to illuminate a foot in front of them.

(Y/N) backed away from the glass, her eyes darting around the shadows when her eyes locked on something moving. The figure leaned through the open door, pausing for a moment before fully stepping into the room, the darkness hiding any distinguishing features. She pressed herself against the wall, keeping her eyes on the shape as long as she could, but all the fight was ripped away, leaving her feeling exhausted as the light from Sam’s cell illuminated the figure’s face.

           “No fucking way,” Sam laughed, scaring (Y/N) out of her frozen state.

           “What? Did you really think I’d leave you here,” Steve chuckled. The sound of his voice snapped (Y/N) back to reality, and she stumbled closer, pinching herself to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

           “Steve,” she sighed, her muscles unclenching as she sagged against the glass.

           “Come on, I couldn’t leave you guys to rot,” Steve beamed, his eyes flickering between (Y/N) and Sam.

           “Where’s…” (Y/N) stopped when Steve raised a hand, shaking his head.

           “We’ll have time for questions once we’re anywhere but here,” Steve insisted. “Now sit tight while I run back and open the cells.” Steve smiled before jogging towards the door again, disappearing into another room.

           “Where did he expect us to go?” (Y/N) wondered, turning her palms towards the ceiling. Clint and Sam’s laughter echoed off the walls, making (Y/N) chuckle to herself, only for it to die in her throat when the metal bars started to hiss. It took a few seconds for the bars to retreat before the door popped open; (Y/N) hesitantly pushed on it, leaning out when it swung open. Scott, Clint, Wanda, and Sam were doing the same, hesitantly stepping out of their cells into the dark room.

           “You coming?” Steve called from the doorway, raising a brow.

           “Don’t have to ask me twice,” Wanda laughed, meeting Steve at the door.

           “Let’s get the hell outta here,” Sam agreed, waiting until (Y/N) was at his side. The remaining team members hurried from the room, jogging to catch up with Steve and Wanda; Steve led them through the dark hallways filled with unconscious US marshals, his lips turning down in a slight frown briefly.

           “Your chariot awaits!” Steve exclaimed as he got to the top of the steps leading to the landing pad. The stolen quinjet sat in the middle of the pad, the hatch already open, beckoning them in; Clint jogged towards the jet with Scott and Wanda on his heels. (Y/N) followed, raising a brow at Steve when he hung back with Sam, but he only smiled, shooing her towards the jet. The ocean spray beat against them from the open hatch, making the already cold breeze even worse.

           “Hurry it up, old man!” Clint yelled from his seat, his teeth chattering. When (Y/N) reached the top, Steve and Sam appeared at the bottom of the ramp, Sam failing to hide an excited grin that made (Y/N) suspicious. Once Sam and Steve were safely inside, the hatch started to close, but no one made any move to relax while they were still in the danger zone. Steve jogged to the front, leaning over the piolet seat to hit a few buttons and whispering something but the engines roaring to life drowned out whatever he said.

           “Buckle up; it’s gonna be a bumpy ride!” Steve yelled, dropping into the co-piolet chair. (Y/N) took the empty seat next to Wanda, barely managing to get herself strapped in before the quinjet was moving. The rain and the raging ocean beat against the side of the quinjet, rocking it side to side; once the jet was hovering just above the doors, Steve punched it, pressing everyone into their seats as they climbed higher. It took a few minutes for him to level it out, but the entire team seemed to let out a sigh once things were steady again.

           “We’re clear?” Sam called, leaning forward in his seat.

           “Yeah, sorry,” Steve started, spinning around in his chair, “we needed to get out before back up got there.”

           “We’re free!” Clint shouted, fighting his seat belt off, his smile lighting up his entire face.

           “C’mere (Y/N),” Steve called, glancing over at the piolet seat again.

           “I’m scared,” (Y/N) hummed, narrowing her eyes at her best friends but still unbuckling herself.

           “I have the answer to what I assume is your biggest question,” Steve chuckled, a goofy grin spreading across his face. Reality crashed down on (Y/N), her mind immediately going to Bucky, making her shoulders slump as she stood up, pulling a deep breath through her nose. Steve was practically vibrating in her seat as she moved closer, and she stopped in her tracks when the piolet seat swived around, revealing a smiling face. (Y/N)’s lungs felt too small, fighting to pull in enough air to keep her head from spinning, and she swayed on her feet.

           “Bucky,” she cried, desperate to close the space between them. Bucky had barely got to his feet before (Y/N) slammed into him, her arms circling his waist, almost knocking them back into his chair.

           “Hey, darlin’,” Bucky laughed, wrapping his right arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer. (Y/N)’s pulsed fluttered at the unmistakable hint of a Brooklyn accent laced through the words, bringing tears to her eyes.

           “Your accent,” (Y/N) breathed in awe, turning her head to rest her chin on his chest, “I thought you lost it.”

           “I guess not,” Bucky whispered, his smile softening.

           “Are you okay? After…you know,” (Y/N) asked, waving her hand at nothing in particular.

           “Not really,” Bucky confessed, his expression darkening as he absently rubbed her shoulder.

           “What do you need?”

           “Right now? This,” Bucky sighed contently, pressing a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering.

           “We should talk about it,” (Y/N) pointed out, leaning into him.

           “We will,” Bucky agreed, his eyes shifting to the huddle of people whispered at the back of the jet, “when we don’t have an audience.”

           “Fair enough,” (Y/N) chuckled, leaning back to meet his eyes. Bucky’s smile was laced with sadness but it slowly morphed into a thin line, an irritated sounding huff passing through his nose before he leaned forward, his lips brushing her forehead again. “What’s wrong?” she asked, her brows pulling together as she shifted back slightly.

           “I was trying to brush the hair out of your eyes,” Bucky grumbled, his shoulders slumping. (Y/N) wrinkled her nose, the furrow in her brow deepening, and she looked over at his left arm. (Y/N) reeled back, her eyes snapping open wider because she somehow overlooked the fact that there was nothing to see anymore. Her eyes followed the metal’s jagged edge, taking note of the half-destroyed plates and singed wires swinging freely.

           “What happened?” (Y/N) whispered, resting her hand on his shoulder, meeting his eyes.

           “Tony blew it off,” Bucky replied, shrugging his right shoulder.

           “Oh, that’s all,” (Y/N) sighed, rolling her eyes. “Well, are you okay at least?”

           “I’m fine, doll,” Bucky chuckled, removing his arm from around her shoulders to smooth back her hair, cupping the back of her head. “I can’t feel it.”

           “Oh, good,” (Y/N) hummed, proceeding to shove his left shoulder.

           “What was that for?” Bucky gasped, looking stricken, which only made her smirk.

           “I’d appreciate you not getting yourself killed,” she scoffed, her smirk growing despite the emotion behind her words.

           “Don’t worry,” Bucky assured, pulling her face closer, stopping just before their lips met, “I don’t plan on dying any time soon.”

           “Good,” (Y/N) hummed, sealing their lips together.

Wakanda was teeming with life, oblivious to (Y/N) standing hundreds of feet above, watching from T’Challa’s balcony. The evening was chilly, the air leaving goosebumps on her skin as she watched in silence, trying to keep her mind from wandering to Bucky. Shuri was in the process of removing the last pieces of metal from Bucky’s shoulder and placing the new anchor for a replacement in the future.

           “There you are,” Steve called, appearing at the entrance to the balcony.

           “How’s it going?” (Y/N) sighed, looking over her shoulder.

           “They’re done,” he admitted, leaning against the railing next to her.

           “Cryo next?” (Y/N) wiped a hand over her mouth, trying to control her disgusted shiver from just thinking about the cryo chamber.

           “Shuri’s confident that he won’t be under long,” Steve admitted, keeping his eyes on the civilians below.

           “When can I see him?”

           “Now, if you want.” (Y/N) turned her head, meeting his eyes, trying to return his smile, but she couldn’t fend off the empty feeling growing in her chest again.

Bucky was perched on an exam table, his legs swinging as he stared out the window of the lab, watching the dark trees sway in the moonlight. (Y/N) couldn’t help but think that he suddenly looked so young, resembling the early years of their relationship, and it made a warm feeling bloom in her chest. It didn’t last long when she noticed the left sleeve of his t-shirt was empty, and her heart felt a little heavier, but she tried not to stare.

           “Look who’s awake,” Steve called, flashing his friend a bright smile as they got closer. Bucky’s hair swayed around his face when his head snapped towards them, his blank expression lifting with a toothy, yet sleepy, grin.

           “Barely,” Bucky joked, shrugging his left shoulder, rubbing at his eye.

           “How’s it feel?” (Y/N) probed, leaning against the table next to Bucky.

           “Weird,” he laughed, leaning into her, resting his forehead against her hair. The trio fell quiet, the silence hanging thick around them as they avoided the touchy subject lingering.

           “You’re sure about this?” Steve asked, crossing his arms, looking down at his shoes.

           “I can't trust my own mind,” Bucky sighed, turning his head to rest his cheek against (Y/N) instead. “So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing” -Bucky leaned back, waiting until (Y/N) met his eyes- “for everybody.”

           “I know,” she breathed, blinking hard against the tears pooling in her eyes. Bucky shifted, so his right arm was free, reaching up to gently grip her chin between his thumb and pointer finger, angling her to look at him.

           “It won’t be long,” Bucky insisted, his piercing icy blue eyes holding hers, his pupils dilating. (Y/N) stood on her toes, pressing their lips together in a tender kiss, pouring every ounce of emotion into it she could.

           “I’ll see you soon,” she breathed against his lips, the corner of her mouth twitching up in a smile.

           “See you soon,” Bucky hummed, releasing her chin. Walking away from Bucky was by far the hardest thing (Y/N) had ever done, and she held his eyes until she had to pass through the doorway.

           “No ‘love you’ this time,” Steve wondered, raising a brow.

           “He already knows,” (Y/N) assured, meeting his gaze.

Chapter 8 | Masterlist

Taglist:

@itsafansworld07 @youracidqueenmina @witch-of-letters @spookyparadisesheep @blackbirddaredevil23 @ginger-swag-rapunzel 

[unwrittenlibrary]

Sole Survivor -> II

summary // days eight through eighteen; blindsides, chocolate rewards, immunity idols and cutthroat words.

words // 11.5k (wowza)

warnings // reality tv, typical survivor mentions (idols, tribal, council), cursing, introducing a nickname (sweets) & some allusion to horniness but no sexual scenes

notes // this chapter & the next will probably be the longest ones because they have the most days but!! so much more development and drama here i’m actually super happy with how this came out! i hope you enjoy it :) i did some editing but there still may be some minor spelling or grammar mistakes, i will go through again this weekend!

series masterlist here. [eighteen plus blog and this fic holding eventual eighteen plus scenes mean minors should not interact with this story]

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

PREVIOUS • Chapter II • OUTPLAY • NEXT

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

Day Eight

Bucky’s shocked with how well the villains have been playing throughout the first week. While there may be tensions running high at camp, whispers and secret alliances, they pull it together on challenge days. 

Except - well - Bucky’s cringing as he watches this challenge because the villains are just sucking. Apparently wrestling in the mud with padded duffle bags is their achilles heel, who would have fucking thought?

The heroes had gotten rid of Sharon at the last tribal council which made the most sense to Bucky. She had been good in her season, but challenges just weren’t her thing, social skills were and right now the heroes need challenge wins. 

And it’s worked. 

One by one the villains have been knocked off the platform, the heros have five points and first to six wins, Bucky doesn’t even want to go up. 

“You got this Bucky!” You cheer from your spot on the mat. You’re covered in mud from the last round. Bucky kind of wants to forfeit to avoid embarrassing himself in front of you. It’s raining now, the platform is slick with rain and mud so Bucky’s slipping before they even begin trying to knock each other off. 

“Villains need this point to stay in the game.” Jeff calls out - yeah thanks - “Ready? Go!” Bucky stumbles around as Steve, of all people, circles him. 

They’re the same height, but Steve is definitely a little broader. “Come on, Buck! Knock him down!” You scream.

“God, she’s annoying.” Steve murmurs in response and Bucky furrows his brows a little angrily. “Come on man, leave her alone.” He mumbles, trying to keep the words off camera. He doesn’t need the world to know he’s grown a little protective of you. 

Steve raises his brows. “She’s annoying.” He repeats and Bucky sighs. He didn’t want to make the first move, content to circle Steve until Jeff forced them to make contact, but for some reason he just can’t let that slide.

So, he steps forward and goes low, pushing his huge red duffel into Steve’s stomach. It makes him stumble, but not a lot, and Steve is quick to push back. 

Bucky stumbles more, his feet sliding around the mud until he tumbles to the ground and tries feebly to block Steve’s pushes towards the edge. How were the heroes so good at not slipping? Did they have glue on their feet?

There’s almost a sigh of relief when Bucky’s body hits the mud, like thank God this is over. He crawls out sadly and feels embarrassed as everyone pats his back reassuringly. 

“Heroes, for the first time in eight days, you’ve won immunity.” Jeff hands over the small statue. “Grab your stuff head out.” The heroes cheer as they happily march away. 

Jeff turns to the villains solemnly. “Villains, I got nothing but your first date at tribal council with me tonight. You have the afternoon to discuss. Grab your stuff, head out.” 

Steve Rogers - Hero Tribe

“We needed this win. And to be able to absolutely demolish the villains while getting it? It’s a boost to us and humbling to them. We could win this.” 

Loki Odinson - Villain Tribe

“We were just pathetic today. Absolutely awful. Not one point? You can’t even blame that on a weak player because we all sucked!” 

You’re in the water with Bucky and Natasha trying to wash all the mud off your body. “Who should we get rid of tonight?” You whisper as you dip your head back to try and get it out of your hair. 

Tony and Stephen were further down in the water. Loki was laying in the shelter with Clint. You knew Darcy was sitting by the fire. 

Natasha purses her lips. “I was thinking Strange.” She says with a quick glance over her shoulder. “I know they’re going to be saying your name, Y/N, so we need to get Darcy and Loki before they do.” 

Your mouth falls open in shock. “My name? Why?” 

“It’s too soon to get rid of physical competitors.” Bucky comments. He rests a reassuring hand on your back and you fight the urge to move closer to him. You weren’t sure what it was about Bucky, but he was so comforting, you always wanted to be around him. “Loki and Darcy know that.” 

“I’ll talk to Darcy, you two talk to Loki.” Natasha orders before swimming away. You and Bucky look at each other with a laugh. 

“She’s intimidating.” You admit. Neither of you move to go and talk to Loki, both content to relax in the water for a few more minutes.

“Not as intimidating as you.” Bucky splashes some water at you making you splutter. 

You splash him back with a laugh. “How so? I think I’m nicer.” 

Bucky shakes his head. He moves a little closer to you in the water and you smile when his leg brushes against yours. “You just have this stare.” Bucky smiles. “Makes everyone around you want to drop everything and do what you say.” 

“Does it make you feel like that?” You stare at him with a smirk. Bucky presses his tongue against his cheek and looks away for a moment. 

“Sometimes.” He admits as he stands in the water. Your eyes trail up from the waistband of his shorts to his collar. He’s already got a tan from the island sun and his body looks incredible dripping water off of it. You bite your lip when your eyes meet his and Bucky smiles before moving to make his way to shore.

Your hand darts out and wraps around his wrist. “I know we haven’t talked about it a lot.” You say quietly. “But you and me, Bucky Barnes. Final two. These other alliances are just a means to an end.” 

Bucky nods stiffly, but there’s a hint of a smile on his face. “I’ll talk to Loki.” He gently pulls his wrist away from your hand. You watch as he makes his way to shore and begins searching subtly for Loki. 

Clint Barton - Villain Tribe 

“I trust Nat. Nat and I are friends outside of this. She’s a part of my life, she knows my kids, my wife. I just hope she’s made a good choice in working with Bucky and Y/N because from what I’ve seen they’ll pick each other over any of us.” 

You - Villain Tribe 

“I don’t…” You laugh. “Bucky is handsome. That’s all I have to say.” 

“Can I talk to you, Loki?” Bucky asks politely. Loki stares at him for a moment before raising his eyebrows. “Come for a walk?” 

Loki heaves out a sigh before standing up to follow after Bucky. “I’m assuming you and the siren need a vote.” 

Bucky snorts. “She’ll love that. Black Widow. Villainess and now siren.” He sighs. “Where are you leaning on the vote?” Loki looks at Bucky from beside him. Social game wasn’t Bucky’s best aspect, he always struggled with the ability of persuasion, but he was better at this game now. Six years off of it, twelve seasons, he’s had time to study up. 

“Not sure. Today was a wake up call. Maybe we’re not as strong as we thought.” Loki admits. “Who are you leaning towards?”

“Strange.” Bucky answers quietly. “We’re all pretty strong, you know? But he and Stark are just stuck in the past and Survivor is a new game now.” 

“So why not get rid of Stark?” Loki just watches as Bucky picks up logs. Bucky supposes he can’t be too upset because Loki had agreed to talk and not gather. “Stark won. Strange didn’t.” 

Bucky can admit he has a point and Strange was far more tolerable to Bucky than Tony was. Strange was good at laying under the radar though, and while he was incredibly talented at puzzles, physical challenges seemed to be a weakness.

“You won.” Bucky purses his lips as Lokie shrugs. “Like you said, we need a strong team. We just came to the decision that Strange is weaker than Tony.” 

“What can you offer me?” Bucky is reminded of how Loki won. He was always so good at giving less than what he got in return. 

“I can promise you safety tonight.” Bucky narrows his eyes. “Then we’ll talk. You have to know your reputation, Loki.” 

“I do.” He smiles at Bucky. “But we all have one, don’t we? Who’s to say your girl won’t turn on you?” 

Bucky rolls his eyes, deciding to ignore the jab. “Can I count on you Loki?” 

“I’ll let you know.” Loki shrugs apathetically before walking away. Bucky scoffs. 

Was trusting you risky? Of course it was. If he fell out with you he was sure it would be his ticket home, but he had seen your loyalty in full play too. When the alliance had turned on Shuri your season, you had refused to write her name down and gave up your idol for her. 

He was playing smart, whether or not anybody else thought so. He could work with you, save you, get saved and then when it became necessary he could turn his back on you. 

This was a villain's game after all. 

Tony Stark - Villain Tribe 

“Something is brewing. I can feel it. We got too comfortable with winning. We never put a plan in place for if we lost and now I’m afraid I’ll be the target.” 

When you get the hour warning, you can tell something is wrong with Bucky. He’s shaking his leg and his eyes are shooting around the shelter like he’s an on duty security guard.

“Bucky.” You nudge his shoulder with yours as you sit next to him. “What’s up?” 

He looks around skeptically before leaning in towards you. His metal arm brushes your’s and makes you shiver, it’s coolness offers a much needed relief from the sun beating down on you everyday. “We should get rid of Loki.” 

Your eyes widen and you look up at him shocked. “Wh...What? Why?” You whisper. 

“He wants too much from us. He wants to play that swing vote angle again. He’s dangerous, he’s won before.” He explains hastily. Tony and Stephen were whispering by the fire with Darcy. 

“I’ve won before.” You point out. Bucky shakes his head quickly, his hand lands on your kneecap reassuringly. 

“He’s not gonna help us, I’m telling you.” There’s a warning in his tone that makes your back straighten. “We should talk to them, he hasn’t made any friendships yet.” 

You nod slowly. “Okay… Okay.” You place your hand over Bucky’s. “I trust you.” He lets out a sigh of relief and you stand, holding a hand out to help him up. 

The three look up at you cautiously as you and Bucky take seats across from them. “Who are you guys thinking?” You ask gently. 

“You come to us less than an hour before we have to leave? Your plan not work out?” Tony scoffs with a defiant cross of his arms. 

You roll your eyes at his pride. It would be his downfall. “Our plan is Loki and we were hoping you could help.” You put on your sweetest smile and softest tone of voice.

Tony looks you up and down with a tense jaw. “How do I know you’re not trying to trick me?” 

“I wouldn’t have even come up to you if I wanted you gone, Tony.” You say with a smirk. “I would have just picked you off.” You stand quickly, over the conversation. You had given him your demand, there was no need to waste your last half hour before council. “I’m gonna rinse off. I’ll see you later.” 

Bucky watches you go. It’s hard not to. He doesn’t even care that the cameraman not even ten feet away captures his eyes moving over your body or how he adjusts his seat when he turns to face the two older men again. 

“We’ll vote with you tonight.” Tony says with a knowing look. “But, I’ve gotta warn you. I’ve watched her season. I’ve seen her. You, my friend, are falling right into the trap.” 

Bucky shrugs. “What if she’s falling into mine?” 

Natasha - Villain Tribe 

“We’re going to tribal tonight, which I’m sure will be a disaster. I know Jeff is gonna tear our performance to pieces and he’ll ask intrusive questions. All I can hope is that the plan works and Strange goes home.”

You - Villain Tribe 

“Bucky and I came up with Loki so last minute I didn’t have a chance to tell Nat or Clint. What’s the saying? I’d rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. I can only hope this doesn’t make an enemy out of her.” 

“Villains come on in. Grab a torch and light it up.” Jeff calls out as the eight of you walk in in single file. “Fire is your life in this game. When it’s extinguished, your time here is up.” Everybody takes a seat. You place yourself in front of Bucky and in between Loki and Darcy. 

“Wow. Villains. Not going to tribal for eight days is an impressive feat.” Jeff starts off his hands pressed against his legs as he looks over your group. “Do you think tonight will make you stronger? Or expose rifts? Natasha?”

You force yourself not to flinch as she begins speaking. Have to keep the guilt off your face as you think of how upset she’ll probably be when all is said and done. “Well, I think tonight will really strengthen us as a group. Sealing up any cracks.” 

You swallow and turn your head to look at her like you agree. You see Bucky out of the corner of your eye and really, really want to look at him for some comfort, but you knew Jeff would catch on. 

“Loki? You agree?” Jeff moves his eyes over you and onto the laid back man. Loki nods with a cocky smirk. “I do, Jeff. Tonight will be a clean slate.” 

You rub a finger under your noise nervously. You and Loli weren’t friends, but you did feel a little bad at the idea of this blindside. “Bucky, I mean, it seems like you guys have it all figured out? Is this a front or are you guys really at one?” 

Bucky’s knee grazes your lower back. “I mean… I feel like we’re working together well, but you never know. I mean, I could go home tonight. You really never know.” 

Jeff nods, looking a little put off by how little you’re all giving away. “Okay, well then, let’s get to the vote. Loki, you’re up first.” 

As Loki walks away you finally look back at Bucky. He nods as subtly as he can and while you’re sure it will be zoomed in on in the edit of the show, nobody sitting around you seems to notice and that’s what matters right now. 

One by one the eight of you make your way to the voting area. You write Loki’s name with a sad face in the O and fold it up. 

This was the best move for your game, you knew it was. Loki was too good and too smart to be kept for a possible vote. You knew if he made it to the merge he could make it all the way to the end again. 

And you just couldn’t let that happen. 

Bucky’s Vote - Loki

“Sorry, man.” Bucky shrugs holding the slip of paper up. “You came too hard. I need to protect myself in this game.” 

Tony’s Vote - Loki 

“If it’s not you, it’s me.” He shrugs. “Sorry, I really like me.” 

Natasha’s Vote - Strange

“Some OGs just don’t know how to adapt. I’m learning the new game while you’re stuck in the past.” 

Once you’re seated again, Jeff moves to grab the votes. “Person with the most votes will be the third person voted off the island and the first voted off the villain's tribe. I’ll read the votes.” 

He pulls a slip out. “Strange.” He marks. You hear Stephen’s sharp inhale. “Strange.” Jeff reads again. “That’s two for strange.” He pulls out another slip. “Strange. That’s three for strange. Five votes left.” 

You suck in a breath. This was the moment, either you and Bucky would be victorious or this would be an incredibly fast fall from grace. 

“Loki.” His head whips around to look at Bucky, who you know is staring straight af Jeff like you are. “Loki. That’s two votes Loki. Three votes Strange. Three votes left.” You tap your foot against the makeshift wood floor. “Loki.” Jeff reads. Natasha’s head turns to look at you with fierce eyes, but you don’t acknowledge her gaze. 

“Loki. That’s four for Loki. Three for Strange. One vote left.” Jeff pulls the last slip out. “Third person voted-“

“Fuck.” Loki hisses next to you as he stands. He doesn’t acknowledge any of you as he brings his torch to Jeff, only deigns to say something when it’s put out.

“I think you all know who’s running the show now and if you let her, she’ll go all the way again.” He warns before descending the steps. 

You roll your eyes before you turn to look at Bucky with a small smile. “Well, playing the game with vets obviously means playing the game. Villains starting off with a blindside, the only question is will it make you stronger? Grab your stuff, head out. See you at the next reward challenge.” 

Loki Odinson - Exit Interview 

“I was just too big of a threat to them. They new I would win it all again if I stayed, I can only hope they figure that out about that girl. She’ll go all the way again, she’d win.” 

Natasha - Villain Tribe

“I got played. That’s what happened. She took my trust and used it to her advantage and she played me. She’s going home next. Then her little boy toy.” 

Bucky trails behind you as Natasha stomps back into camp. “I just can’t believe this.” She hisses to the two of you as move to place your stuff back in the shelter. 

“It was last minute, Nat.” Bucky sits down next to you in the shelter. “We didn’t have time to talk to you before tribal.”

She scoffs. “Yeah. Yeah. Now I just look like the idiot who trusted you and who brought Clint down with her!” She waves her arm in Clint’s general direction and he looks away like he doesn’t really want to be a part of the conversation.

Bucky gives her a dramatic eye roll. “You don’t look dumb. It was last minute. Loki was too dangerous to keep in the game. He was going to play us all to make it to the merge.”

“The merge? Bucky! It’s not even day ten yet. We need a strong team.” Natasha hisses. Bucky feels your foot rub against his shin subtly as she yells at him. “Loki was strong!” 

“We all are! This isn’t the same survivor, Nat!” Bucky tries to keep his voice steady, but he’s getting tired of being yelled at. “If we lose again. If we somehow end up one more or one less than them, having Loki would be detrimental to numbers. Especially with Thor on the other side.” 

Bucky nudges his knee into your leg dangling off the makeshift bed of the shelter. “He’s right. You know it.” You defend him. 

“You two just made an enemy. Okay?” she crawls onto the opposite side of the shelter. 

Bucky scoffs, but doesn’t say or do anything else in response. It’s tense as some of your tribe members sit by the fire or crawl into the space to sleep. 

You fall onto your back and Bucky takes space beside you. “Did we make a stupid move?” He whispers. He can see one of the silhouettes of a cameraman near the shelter and he’s sure they’ll be trying to pick up this conversation, but he really just needs reassurance. 

You shake your head. “No.” You scoot closer to him. Bucky shuts his eyes, while laying like this during the day was a no-go, it was nice to be beside you at night. Where your heat offered some relief to cold. “And there’s no second guessing in Survivor, okay? We did what was best for us.” You whisper sternly. 

Bucky nods in response. He hesitates for a moment before reaching out and squeezing your hand. “Thank you.” 

Your eyes widen and he can see the shock reflected on your face even in the dark, but you squeeze back. “Final two.” You say so quietly Bucky can barely hear you. 

Day Ten

Bucky Barnes - Villain Tribe 

“Loki was the best move for us. I know and Y/N knows that. That’s all that matters right now. We have a challenge to win. Nat’s threats mean nothing right now.” He shrugs.

Thor Odinson - Hero Tribe 

“The villains walk in and my brother is gone! I just never expected him to go home so soon. We didn’t get to play together long on blood versus water, and I hoped that we would be able to here. If I had to guess I would say they just saw him as too big of a threat.” 

When Jeff reveals a set up of chocolate, your mouth waters. Sweets person or not after almost two weeks with nothing but water and rice, chocolate sounded like a five star meal at a Michelin star restaurant.

“You even get a little taste.” Jeff teases as he reveals a plate with small break away pieces of chocolate. Your entire tribe groans as he comes up to you with the plate. 

You turn to face Bucky as he takes his small piece. He smiles and offers it out. “Do you want it?” You shake your head quickly and he shrugs before popping it into his mouth.

You nudge him when you notice Steve handing the plate back without taking a piece. “What are they doing?” He asks amused as the entire tribe follows suit. You roll your eyes when Steve holds the plate, still filled with chocolate, out for Jeff to take. 

Jeff furrows his brows. “You don’t like chocolate, Steve?” He asks, bemused by the hero's actions. Your entire tribe turns to look at them to explain themselves. Steve shrugs. “We don’t need it, Jeff. We’re here to win.”

“So you don’t care about the reward? You just want to win to win?’ Jeff attempts to clarify. You laugh out loud. “We’ll take it, Jeff! Can we have their bites of chocolate?” You giggle as Bucky pinches your side. 

Jeff laughs and Steve shrugs apathetically. “We’re ready to win. Let’s play.”

“So you don-” 

“Let’s play.” Steve cuts Jeff’s question off, who looks at the man annoyed by the attitude. “We’ll play.” Jeff says sternly. “When I’m done.”  Steve looks away a little embarrassed which only makes your tribe laugh a little more as Jeff begins to explain the rules of the challenge. 

“It’s like basketball.” You murmur, recognizing the game from your own season. Two players from each team in the area and three on each platform. The two in the arena catch the balls and try to steal them for the contestants on the platform to shoot. You feel like your tribe has a really good shot to rebuild momentum again. “We got this.”

You end up in the arena with Clint while Bucky, Nat and Tony stand on the platform to shoot. You’ve forced Strange and Darcy to sit out, but neither of them seemed thrilled at the idea of basketball either. 

It’s a brutal match. The heroes are obviously desperate for another win, desperately trying to prove themselves to whoever watches this season at home.

Something about the villains just clicks though. It’s easy for your team to communicate and score; the closer and closer you get to five points the dirtier the heroes start to play. 

By the last round, you and Bucky are both in the arena while the other three attempt to shoot the winning score. 

With Steve. 

Who elbows you when you jump for a ball. “Shit!” The hit itself isn’t too hard, but it’s jarring enough that you fall to the ground in shock. 

“Are you fucking serious, dude?” Bucky shows up behind you with a glare directed towards Steve, who at least looks a little apologetic. Bucky’s fingers lift your chin so you look at him. 

“Are you okay? Do I need to call for medical?” Jeff calls from his spot near the benchwarmers.

Bucky’s fingers trace over what you’re sure will be a little bruise later or some minor swelling before he shakes his head. “You good?” He asks quietly, just for you. 

His eyes on you are intense as he traces his fingertips over your skin. It’s intimate, far too intimate for the amount of people watching hawkeyed and looking for reasons to vote you out.

You stand abruptly. “I’m good.” You dust the dirt off of your legs and turn to face Jeff without glancing back at Bucky. “No medical! I’m okay! Just an accidental bump.” Your eyes find Steve’s and he offers a semi-apologetic smile that you shrug at in return. 

The game is called back on. Steve seems a little shaken by his accidental brawl and it gives your team all the momentum they need to score the last basket. 

“Villains win reward!” Jeff’s arms shoot up and your team cheers. You squeeze Bucky’s bicep as Darcy rushes over to give you a hug. Thank you. You mouth, the cameras may have picked up on it, but nobody else has and that’s all that matters. 

Bucky Barnes - Villain Tribe

“I bet right now they’re wishing they had some of that chocolate.” His laughter rings out.

Peter Parker - Hero

“I really wish I had taken a bite of chocolate. It looked so good.”

There’s a large table set up buffet style with chocolate candies, cakes, milk and anything you can make chocolate, is chocolate. 

But there’s only one thing Bucky’s searching for, a clue. If there’s one thing he’s learned watching these more recent seasons, it’s that there’s always a clue hidden away on these reward trips and Bucky’s going to find it. 

For you and for him. 

“Oh my god.” You let out a moan at the bite of a chocolate cupcake you take. You hold it towards Bucky with a smirk. “Try it. I don’t think I’ve ever had a cupcake that tasted this good.” 

Bucky takes a small bite and lets out a pleased groan. He’s sure if he had been eating steadily for the past couple weeks the cupcake wouldn’t taste nearly as good, but to him it’s like heaven.

“We’re gonna go for a swim. Do you two wanna come?” Darcy offers as the rest of the team darts towards the clear water. You and Bucky shake your heads quickly. “I’m too attached to this chocolate.” You giggle as Darcy moves to follow the rest of your team. 

You move so you’re sitting beside Bucky and lean your head against his shoulder as you take bites of the chocolate treats. “Check this out.” You hold up your left hand and flash a small, white piece of paper. 

“Is that…” Bucky trails off as you stuff it into your bikini top with a smirk. “Where’d you find it?”

“The cookie platter.” You laugh softly. “It was hidden between the chocolate chip and oreos.” You tilt your head up to look at him. “That’s our safety procurement. They’re not getting rid of us anytime soon.” You smirk. 

“If we can find it.” Bucky noted, picking up another small cupcake. You grab a small, hershey kiss and pop it into your mouth. “I know where it is, Buck. I read the clue when I went to the bathroom. It’s back at camp.” 

Bucky nods and finally lets himself relax, his head resting over yours as the two of you eat in a comfortable silence.

“You and I, baby.” Bucky holds a piece of chocolate out which you meet halfway in a cheers. “Til the end!” You cheers with a soft laugh.

Natasha Romanoff - Villain Tribe

“Nobody is really worried about Bucky and Y/N because they just don’t have the numbers anymore. Clint and I aren’t going to help them and Tony and Darcy only promised one vote.” She shrugs. “If they want to sit off in their little bubble and just enjoy their last few days together until we vote them off, that’s fine! We’re not worried.”

Darcy Lewis - Villain Tribe

“I mean, she had to know nobody would want to bring her until the end. She’s a fan favorite. She plays well. It’s only a matter of time until she’s gone and Bucky following right after her.”

Day Twelve

The heroes just can’t win. Which you can tell is annoying your tribe. Immunity is nice when there are people you don’t want to get rid of before the merge. It was an issue when there was and they wanted to get rid of you.

“If we lose, we need to have a plan.” You whisper to Bucky as the two of you huddle by the fire. Your thighs are pressed against one another’s and it has warmth spreading through you. “They’re going to try and vote one of us out.”

Bucky’s fingers trace over your leg. “But we have this.” He taps the immunity idol you had stuffed into your shorts after finding it on the trek back to your camp. “We can use it against them.”

You lean your head against his shoulder. “If we play it right.” You glance over your shoulder. The rest of your tribe is floating in the water, washing off the dirt from today’s challenge. “If we play it wrong, we fuck everything up.”

You can feel Bucky nod against the top of your head. “How do we play it right? They’re not going to tell us their votes.”

“They’ll try.” You cross your arms over your chest. “They’ll whisper around us and try to make us think a certain way. We just have to play smarter.” You shrug.

You stand up suddenly, dusting off the sand and dirt stuck to your skin. “We’ll just play the defeated pair act and turn it around on them. We just have to find a weak link.”

Your eyes move back to the ocean, where Darcy floats away from the group, obviously ignored and outcasted.

“Then we have our in.” You smirk down at Bucky.

Bucky Barnes - Villain Tribe

“She’s so odd. I’m… I just find myself wanting to follow her everywhere though.” He shakes his head, like he can’t quite believe he’s saying all this. “I know how she won. She’s good. She makes it feel real.”

Day Fourteen

Things go well, but not as well as Bucky had hoped. With a double tribal council looming over them, individual immunity for you or him would have ideal, no matter who won the award. 

Natasha had won individual immunity and the reward, hot dogs and hamburgers while sitting in the opposite tribe’s council. It was good, but Bucky knew she would be power high for the rest of the afternoon. 

She had made it clear she would be coming for you and him. 

“Heroes can’t win, so they’re forcing us to go to tribal now.” You nudge Bucky with your elbow, but he can’t bring himself to laugh. He can’t understand how you’re so nonchalant as Natasha moves around camp with a vengeance, desperate to get back at you two for screwing her over. 

In the first vote, his mind tacks on. She shouldn’t be taking it too serious. 

“How are you not worried?” Bucky asks quietly as the two of you sit under the palm tree. You’re weaving ferns together for no reason other than it giving you something to do while Bucky uses a spare cloth to wipe dirt off of his arm. “She’s plotting our demise and we’re just sitting here.” 

You glance up at him with a smile. “You worry too much, Buck.” You shrug your shoulders. He watches as your eyes move over the beach and take in the groups spread out. “Have you noticed anything?” You ask quietly. 

Bucky splutters for a moment, completely shocked by your nonchalance. “Are you listening to me?” 

“Because I have.” You ignore him. Anybody else and Bucky would be furious. He thinks that may be a problem. You hand comes up to cup his chin and force his stare in the direction of the fire pit. His eyes land on Darcy, sitting alone as Tony, Stephen and Natasha chat in the shelter. “I’ve noticed how overlooked Darcy Lewis is. They don’t see her as a physical threat or social competitor.” 

Bucky nods slowly. “What makes you say that?” 

“They think she’ll fall into line because she owes them something for keeping her safe.” Your hand drops from Bucky’s face and he raises a fingertip to trace over where they had laid. You keep talking, “But she knows they’ll rid of her at the merge. She’s too smart individually to not.”

“And we get her to spill their secrets?” Bucky asks softly, catching on to your train of though. “Because they’re talking around her, but not to her right now.” You turn to look at him with a proud smile and short nod. 

“When she goes off on her own, we’ll make our move. There’s no need to stress, Buck.” You say softly. He looks down at you and almost melts at the reassuring smile on your face. 

Fourteen days and he felt something for that smile. Something like butterflies in the stomach and breath flowing easier. Was that too soon? He wasn’t sure. Time was different when you’re with people twenty-four seven. “Yeah.” He breathes out. “You’re right.” 

The cameras have no doubt caught this flickering of emotions on his face and maybe by the end of this he’ll be plastered across social media as a somehow worse victim to your Survivor game. He knows Steve had worshipped you, but it was never like this. You never smiled at him like this. 

Bucky swears it. 

Bucky Barnes - Villain Tribe 

“She’s good.” He laughs awkwardly. “We’ll see how this alliance plays out.” He looks away and watches as you get up and walks towards Darcy, who has finally drifted off to collect fire wood. “We’ll... We’ll see.” 

“Darcy? Can I come with you?” You’ve made sure the majority group has moved on to the water so they don’t see you talking with her and . “Maybe we could talk.” You shrug. 

She looks you over with wary eyes before sighing. “Yeah. Okay.” She nods for you to follow and you smile thankfully at her. Darcy was sweet, there really wasn’t any other word for her. 

Her confessionals had been hilarious; They were full of dry commentary and sarcastic quips that made her easily likable. She was a genius, in the literal sense, and forced her way to the end with puzzle wins. Her fatal flaw, and the ultimate nail in her coffin, had been her inability to make strong alliances. 

“You’re a threat.” You say easily as you both pause to pick up some fire wood. “It’s why you struggled on your first season and why you’ll struggle now.” 

She raises her eyebrows at you obviously unimpressed. “i made it to final tribal council. How is that struggling?” 

“You lost.” You shrug. She seems unphased by your bluntness and that makes you happy. “You know you lost because you didn’t forge bonds. You’re sweet. Funny. Smart and strong. People saw you as a threat from that first puzzle challenge on your season and they spent the end plotting your demise. You made it to final three because of your skills not because of your social presence. It’s incredibly impressive, but it might not help you as much in this game where people already know how truly good you are.” 

Darcy takes pause. An in. You think proudly, you knew you could crack her. “What exactly are you offering? You and Bucky have made it clear that’s final two.”

“So did Steve and I.” You give her a vicious smirk. “Darcy, thirty seasons and men always fall for the nails up their back and sunkissed legs.” You tilt your head with a cocky smile. “I want to create a more... Women led Survivor. So many men have won and used women to do it.” 

She releases a shocked laugh. “You know I could tell him all this? Just... Use it for my own good.” 

“You could.” You nod slowly. You pause, like you’re actually worried about the attempt of a threat. “You won’t though. Because you know as well as I do this information won’t get you far. Tell Bucky and I’ll just twist it so you’re gone next or tell the grandparents and they’ll try to get rid of me or Bucky, then you when your vote is no longer needed.” You give her a sarcastic pout. 

She shifts her eyes to the ground.  It’s a tell, flashes of her season play in your mind, she’s about to lie. “They’re talking about you tonight.” She finally says with a fake smile. 

Your eyes narrow before you nod slowly. Wrong choice. 

The two of your watch each other for a moment, a stock still staring match where you’re both attempting to gauge the other’s reaction. Then you smile, sweet and innocent. “It’s up to you. Vote for me or vote for Strange. I can’t force your hand.” 

You give her a wink before making your way back down the trail. She’s revealed more than she even knows and you’ve just figured out how to save your game.

Darcy Lewis - Villain Tribe

“Maybe she’s right. They’ll get rid of me when they don’t need me, but there’s days before that’s even an option. She’s trying to play me, I know. I’ve seen her and Bucky, she wouldn’t mess that up.” She lets out a defeated sigh. “We know she found the idol, Nat snooped through her bag. Now we just need her to flush it while we vote for Bucky tonight. Biggest blindside yet.”  

 “Villains, since you won reward you will have council and vote. After the vote, whoever is voted off will leave and the rest of you will move to the jury seats to enjoy your hot dogs, hamburgers and soft drinks while the heroes come in and have their council. You’ll leave before their vote and find out who’s gone at the next challenge.” Jeff sucks in a deep breath and smiles at the group. “Sound good?”

Bucky hadn’t gotten a chance to talk with you after you had followed Darcy into the trees for your talk, but you had traced a finger over his knee reassuringly when the two of you had sat down so he’s hoping for the best here. 

He knows it’s frowned upon, but he really tunes Jeff out as he begins talking to Natasha. Bucky’s eyes focus on you. The way the fire casts a glow over your skin and how you’re able to keep your face straight as Natasha accuses you of being a backstabbing alliance member.

“Do you feel like you guys made a mistake last tribal? Getting rid of Loki? Bucky.” Jeff’s voice cuts through the fog that’s in Bucky’s mind. 

His head snaps up to look at Jeff, who’s unable to hide his amusement, and Bucky quickly shakes his head. “I think we made the best choice for our game. It was never the intention to hurt Nat, but she is and I guess that’s something I’ll have to live with.” He gives Jeff a shrug. 

“We had a plan that you didn’t stick to. I think it’s perfectly reasonable for people to not trust you now.” Natasha doesn’t even look at him, she just keeps her eyes on Jeff. 

Jeff’s eyes bounce back and forth between the two like he knows he won’t even have to prompt Bucky for a response. “It was last minute.” His eyes move to Stephen and Tony sat behind her. “Stark was in on it too, but he’s trustworthy?” 

“Stark never promised me final four.” She finally turns to look at him with a smirk, like her airing that out will seal Bucky’s fate. “You did.” 

Your voice cuts Bucky off before he can even speak. “We both knew that final four promise was bogus. You were never gonna turn your back on Clint and Bucky and I weren’t gonna turn on each other. Stop pretending it was your plan to bring us to the end. Lying isn’t all that becoming of you, Nat.” You lean towards her with a pretty smirk. 

Bucky looks you over slowly and swallows thickly. He needed to get this attraction to you under check before he ended up in an embarrassing situation on national television. 

“Shut up.” Nat says just as fiercely. Really, Bucky thinks, the two of you would have worked so well together. He doesn’t understand why you had chosen him. “Let’s vote, Jeff. Can we vote?” She looks away from you with an eyeroll.

Jeff’s eyes widen before he nods. “Sure. Yeah. Let’s vote.” 

Natasha’s Vote - Bucky 

“Next time, hide the idol better.” She laughs. “We need it flushed so we can get rid of your girlfriend next week, sorry Bucky.” 

Darcy’s Vote - Bucky

“I almost took the offer, but numbers are just safer right now. Sorry.” 

Tony’s Vote - Bucky 

“Last week was a one time deal, bud. These old-timers still know how to play the game.” 

“You know the deal. I will read the votes, person with the most votes gets sent home. If anybody has a hidden immunity idol and wants to play it, now would be the time to do so.” Jeff’s hands clutch the urn as his eyes trail over the group. He pauses, waiting for somebody to speak up and Bucky’s heart races for the first time all night. He’s nervous.

“Jeff.” You speak up softly. You smile at group, who all look far too pleased to see you reach into the bag at your feet, before standing up the idol clutched in-between your hands. You walk up to him him slowly with calculating eyes. 

“You know, I’ve had a target on my back since day one. No matter what these villains want to say, they would never have actually worked with me past the merge.” You hold the idol tightly as everyone watches you completely intrigued. You hand the idol over the Jeff. “I would like to play this for Bucky tonight.” 

Bucky’s eyes widen and he can practically feel his heart stop. Natasha’s tongue presses against her cheek as she looks down at the ground with a shake of her head. Clint looks between you and Bucky in disbelief and Darcy flushes bright red. 

Even Jeff looks surprised as you make your way back to your seat in front of Bucky. He’s speechless as Jeff holds the idol up. It’s like water has rushed through his ears as he sees his name pulled out one after the other. 

One. Two. Three. Four. 

“Strange.” Jeff reads out. “That’s one for Strange. Four for Bucky that do not count.” Jeff says pointedly. Jeff pulls out another vote, the one in Bucky’s handwriting. “Strange. That’s two votes and tonight,” he pauses, “that’s enough.”

Bucky lets out a shocked laugh as Stephen Strange slowly moves to pick up the unpacked bag at his feet. Most of his stuff was back at camp, like the rest of their makeshift alliance. The man moves in a shocked daze similar to what Bucky feels himself. He honestly can’t even hear Jeff’s goodbye speech to Stephen over the pounding of his heart.

There’s a moment of shocked silence as the group looks around trying to come to terms with what had just transpired. In that moment, you turn to look at Bucky with a proud smile. “Told you, Buck. Needn’t worry.” 

Bucky lets out another laugh and holds his pinky out to you. “You and me all the way to the end, sweets.” Your eyes sparkle at the nickname and Bucky doesn’t let himself feel embarrassed over it slipping out. He’s far too happy with what just happened to worry about anything. 

Your pinky links with his and Bucky yanks you towards him to press a sloppy kiss to your cheek. You laugh unabashedly as he does so and the rest of the tribe stares in annoyance. 

It’s blatant show of loyalty. One that Bucky knows could hurt them in the end, but you don’t seem to mind and he can’t bring himself to care. 

Stephen Strange - Exit Interview

“I uh, I feel stupid.” He lets out a dazed laugh. “We didn’t split the vote. You always split the vote. Nat and Tony were sure Y/N would use it on herself though and Darcy reassured us she had told the girl we were writing her name down. We got too comfortable. It just sucks it ended up being my neck on the line but that’s the game. That’s Survivor and that was one hell of an impressive play.”

Your tribe won’t look at you. Natasha sits with Tony and Clint as they whisper and eat the hamburgers placed out for everyone. 

Darcy sits in between the two groups as you and Bucky watch the heroes trail into the tribal council chambers. “Heroes. Strange voted out at the villains tribal council tonight.” He gives the heroes a moment to whisper amongst one another as each of their eyes takes in the new villains tribe. 

“Is this a surprise, heroes? I mean did it seem like Strange would be the one to go home after today’s challenge?” Jeff asks as the tribe settles into their seats. 

The group looks at one another hesitantly before Peter speaks up. “I mean, we weren’t sure with Loki. Maybe he came on too strong... Seeing Strange go? Someone who knows the game so well? It makes us think there’s another all female alliance brewing.” 

Bucky looks at you over his sip of generic soda and you suppress a smile as you bite into your hot dog. How wrong they were. You almost want to laugh. Of course they assumed it was an all female alliance again. You had seen it time and time again, long before you came on and long after, men can’t seem to comprehend why other men go home early unless it’s a woman who plans it. 

It’s almost sad how predictable the heroes are in their thought process and game play. You and Bucky steal glances over food as they drone on about working together through honor and loyalty.

What does catch your eye though, is the obvious divide. You can only hope Bucky sees it too so you can discuss it back at camp in preparation for the future merge. 

It’s easy to tell Steve, Wanda and Scott were alone. They sat huddled together on the end while the other’s spoke. None of them piped up to support the claims of unity or strength. You wish you could speak up and urge Jeff to point it out because it was killing you not knowing. 

He was good at his job though. “Steve. Scott. Wanda. You three are so quiet, do you agree with what Thor is saying? That you’re all happy go lucky at camp?” He smiles at the blonde man who shrugs.

“I think we’re all nice to each other back at camp, but I wouldn’t say we’re united.” At this, Wanda and Scott perk up. They both nod and Wanda sits up a little straighter. “It’s Thor’s camp right now, he makes the decisions. The only reason the three of us were spared last week is because he knew we’re strong and we’ve been losing like it’s our job.” Wanda tacks on. 

You smirk. Thor was leading the charge? His first season had been nothing short of disastrous. After being kept on as his original tribes muscle, he failed to make a strong alliance post-merge. Even having his brother back by his side couldn’t save him and the end he was voted out as the second jury member. He learned. You glance over at Darcy. Not everyone could.  

Quickly after Steve’s comment, tribal council descends into chaos. Thor disagrees and the men begin talking over one another until Jeff steps in to begin the vote. “I honestly have no idea how this vote will go tonight, but I can’t wait to see. Villains, we’ll see you for the next challenge soon. Where you’ll see the new hero tribe for the first time.” 

Your group is ushered away quickly, forced to leave any half finished drinks or food sitting on your seats. “How they get to see ours but we don’t get to see theirs?” You call out. 

Your question goes ignored by Jeff and the cameramen following behind you. “Whatever.” You shrug hastily before moving to catch up with Bucky.

“Villains aren’t losing. We’re set until the merge, baby.” You wink at him, thrilled at the red you can see dusting his cheeks. 

After all, who said you couldn’t have fun on Survivor?

Natasha Romanoff - Villain Tribe

“I have no words.” She sits on the sand illuminated by nothing but the moon and camera lights. “I’m... I’m speechless.” 

Day Sixteen 

The idol is back in play. And winning reward is necessary for you and Bucky. You couldn’t care less about the rest of your tribe getting to swim in a fresh waterfall or eating a feast, all you cared about was the clue that was no doubt going to be hidden among the food. 

Last tribal had been a guessing game and a whole lot of luck. The numbers were still against you and Bucky, that hadn’t changed. 

“We need a better strategy.” You shake off what you can of the rain pounding against your skin. It’s getting into your eyes and messing with your vision. “They’re destroying us.” You look at Natasha, who stands beside you and Bucky as the rest of your tribe tries desperately to reattain control of the ball. 

Her lips are pursed together, but you can tell she knows you’re right. In the game of ocean basketball, where three points gets you the win, the heroes already had one to your big fat zero and they held the ball. 

“Next round, Bucky and you go out and keep Clint. That way there’s a strong player in each heat. Focus on shaking their-” You’re cut off when the hero team begins to cheer excitedly and Jeff announces their second point. “-Confidence.” You say defeatedly. 

You pucker your lips in annoyance as Darcy and Tony struggle through the water to the sidelines, both heaving out breaths. “We can try.” Natasha sighs going out to meet Clint and presumably explaining the new strategy to him. 

“I hate to be a debbie downer, sweets.” Bucky looks down at you with an apologetic look. “I don’t think we got this.” You don’t have a chance to respond as Bucky is forced onto the makeshift oceanic basketball court. 

You watch with bated breath as both teams struggle to maintain control of the ball. Shuri pulls Natasha underwater and away from Peter when he finally gets ahold of the ball. 

Wanda wraps her arms around to Clint to stop him from catching the ball if Peter passes, it’s an even fight if you’ve ever seen one. And Peter looks terrified to go head to head with Bucky, who’s waiting for him by the floating baskets. 

“C’mon, Bucky.” You mumble to yourself. Darcy and Tony watch in silence. “C’mon. C’mon. C’mon.” You repeat hopefully. 

Bucky’s hands shoot up as Peter makes a hail Mary shot from feet away, not wanting to go head to head with Bucky. The cheers of the heroes side are deafening as it goes in. 

You can only laugh as Peter gets tackled into the water by his tribe. Your eyes find Bucky, who won’t look up from the water lapping around his hips and you frown. 

You guess they were bound to win something eventually. 

Peter Parker - Hero Tribe 

“We won! Our second win in almost twenty days. I never thought I’d be so happy to sit out here and play ocean basketball in the pouring rain.” He laughs ecstatically. “We won! We won! We won!” 

Bucky Barnes - Villain Tribe 

“Shit.” 

Bucky can’t even look you in the eye. He’s so upset with his performance and his inability to stop Parker from that winning shot. The entire tribe is silent as they make the freezing walk in the pouring rain back to camp. 

Nobody wants to say it, but losing momentum like this is only bad news. He knows every single person here is now afraid their winning streak is officially done and with no merge in sigh that means battling it out for votes. 

He feels something brush against his hand and he looks up at your, shivering beside him in the shelter. “It’s not your fault.” You say quietly. You scoot closer. He can see the whites of your eyes and a vague outline of your face as the two of you lay looking at each other. 

“I let him get that shot.” Bucky whispers back sullenly. He can feel you hesitate before moving until you’re pressed against him, chest to chest, and wrap an arm around his waist. It’s a welcome relief, the warmth that comes with being wrapped up with you, but it makes Bucky’s entire body flush and his heart race. “I’m like, double his size, I could’ve gotten him down easily.”

Bucky’s arm comes up to wrap around your waist as the two of you whisper. “They destroyed all of us, Buck. We didn’t score one point. You can’t blame that all on you. It was a team effort.” 

Bucky doesn’t respond, his mind drifting to what will happen now. He can swallow losing a reward challenge, it just meant one more night of rice and dirty hair. He signed up for thirty-nine of those. Bucky was more worried about what happens now that momentum was gone.

Could the tribe pull it together for the next immunity challenge, or is this the end of their reign? And if it was, what would the two of you do? Numbers were numbers, and one long shot plan working doesn’t magically mean you and Bucky are safe. 

Your thumbs press over Bucky’s eyebrows effectively smoothing the wrinkles that had formed while overthinking. “Get out of that head.” You smile up at him. “There’s nothing we can do now but try to stay warm and get some sleep before tomorrow’s challenge. Okay?”

“Okay.” Bucky swallows as your wrap yourself tighter around him. If anyone asks in the morning, you’ll both say it was for warmth. Sleeping apart just wouldn’t make sense in this storm. 

Day Seventeen 

When the show airs and your friends ask why your tribe lost this immunity challenge you’ll blame the rain again. The torrential downpour has caused the small cracks in your tribe’s foundation to widen and left you all struggling to work together. 

While you and Darcy argued over puzzle pieces, Peter and Shuri flourished. They saw the same thing at the same time and barely needed to speak as pieces were handed off between them. If it hadn’t been you losing to them, you would’ve loved watching it happen. 

You’ll blame the rain for ruining your sleep and making your hands shrivel up and so cold they shake. You’ll come up with every excuse in the book except for what everyone else knows to be true; The heroes were the better team in that challenge. 

You can’t worry about it right now though. Right now you have to figure out a way to get anybody but you or Bucky off the tribe tonight without any numbers or idols to help you. 

“What would you think about voting for Tony or Darcy tonight?” Clint has huddled up with you and Bucky on one side of the shelter with one of your tribe’s two comforters while the other three members do the same. 

You make sure to keep your voice barely a whisper and turn your head so your lips can’t be read by anybody but Clint and Bucky. His eyes cut to Natasha over your shoulder before back to you. “You joking?” He asks just as quiet. 

You and Bucky look at each other before shrugging in sync. “The merge is awhile away. We’re gonna be stuck in these tribes for a long time, you know it. You need Bucky and I if you want to keep your name off the chopping block.” 

“Why? Darcy would be on the chopping block before me.” Clint shrugs. You look over your shoulder again and watch as Tony and Natasha talk to one another as Darcy tries to nap. None of them pay any mind to the group of you. You’re sure it’s because they assume nothing would happen with Clint here to watch you and Bucky.  

Obviously they underestimated you. “Maybe. Or maybe whichever person is left between Bucky and I would team up with Tony and Darcy to take one of the troublesome two out.” You smirk, Bucky smiles and Clint just blinks. “Because if I were smart, like Tony Stark, I’d agree that keeping two of the greatest to ever play together was dumb.” 

There’s a breath of silence, where all you can hear is the rain still pounding against the makeshift roof of your shelter before Clint finally nods. “If I can get a second alone with Nat I’ll try to talk to her, but I don’t see Tony moving from this shelter before tribal tonight.” 

You - Villain Tribe 

“It’s a gamble. Trying to turn Clint in the middle of this storm that has no end in sight.” You look up as the rain continues to pour down. “If anyone can convince Natasha to give us a few more days, it’s him though. They’re family.” 

Clint Barton - Villain Tribe 

“Is it risky considering her past? One hundred percent. It’s smart though. Tony could easily team up with Bucky and Darcy next tribal to break up Nat and I and make himself stronger. It’s a no-brainer. Keep the person without an ally over the person who does.” 

“Villains, almost three weeks and this is only the third challenge your tribe has lost. Is that something you’re proud of?” Jeff is bone dry as everyone sits in front of the fire and ignores the pouring rain.

It’s the warmest Bucky has been all day. If his fate in the game wasn’t looming over him, he might even be glad to arrive at tribal council and huddle beside this huge fire. 

“I think we’re proud of how far we’ve come and we understand every good thing comes to an end.” Tony answers for the group. Bucky can barely resist rolling his eyes. “It’s time to trim some fat.” 

That gets a reaction out of Bucky as his eyebrows shoot up and he can only assume you look the same in front of him because Jeff’s eyes shoot the two of you and he smirks. “You disagree, Bucky?” 

“I just want to know what fat he wants to trim.” Bucky looks down the line at Tony. “Who here is the weak link?” 

“I don’t want to call anybody out and make them feel bad, but every team has fat. It only makes sense to get rid of it for the sake of the team.” He won’t look at you or Bucky as he speaks. 

It has Bucky’s blood pressure rising as he stares at the man in anger. “You don’t want to name names because you know you’re wrong.” There’s no question in Bucky’s tone. “Because you know Y/N and I aren’t really fat, you’re just terrified of going against one of us.”

“Just admit it, Tony.” You chime in. “This week it’s me. Next week it’s Nat. Then it’s Darcy. You don’t want strong women in this final with you because you’ve seen what we can do.” 

Bucky’s eyes find Clint’s and they stare at each other for a moment before Clint moves his stare to red head beside him. Bucky can only hope she votes for Tony tonight too. That they’ve somehow pulled this miracle out. 

“it has nothing to do with women and everything. to do with how strong you are you. You’ve won. Why would I want that?” Tony narrows his eyes.

Jeff laughs. “Woah. Woah. Woah. So, Tony, she’s right? You’re admitting she’s not the weak link, but you do want to get rid of her?” Jeff attempts to clarify. “You’re really voting for you tonight, not the team.” 

There’s a tense silence after Jeff finishes his sentence. “That sounds right to me. Nat?” Your voice cuts through the air. “Sounds like Tony wants to get rid of strong people. You playing Tony’s game?”

“How did this get turned around on me?” Tony’s voice is shocked. “Only an idiot would keep a winner in this game.” 

Bucky can’t even see your face, but he knows there’s a smirk there as you nod in agreement. “Only an idiot would keep a winner. And there are three of them to choose from tonight, let’s just make the right choice guys.” 

“Let’s vote then!” Jeff claps. “Bucky, go ahead and take the urn to place the first vote.”

Bucky’s Vote - Tony 

“I’ve got to win this time. You got that check and that title. It’s my turn.” 

Clint’s Vote - Tony 

“I hope Nat heard what they were saying tonight, and that she understands ’m doing this for both of us.” 

Your Vote - Tony 

“There can only be one and it will be me.” 

You can’t stop your leg from shaking as Jeff retrieves the urn of votes to read out. Tony had said a few things tonight, but that didn’t mean it was enough to turn the tribe on him. 

It could be you, you think as Jeff recites his hidden immunity idol speech. You swallow thickly at the silence that occurs when nobody steps forward with one. This was it. 

“I’ll read the votes.” Jeff takes off the lid and reaches in for the first piece of paper. It’s almost slow motion when he unfolds it and reads of your name. When the paper is flipped you recognize Darcy’s handwriting and scrunch your nose up at the small frown drawn in the corner. 

You turn to look at Bucky as your own vote with Tony’s name comes out. ‘Breathe.’ He mouths to you with a reassuring hand on your back. Jeff reads your name two more times. 

“That’s three votes for Y/N and one for Tony.” He pulls out another piece of paper. “Tony. That’s two for Tony. One vote left.” 

You almost cry when Jeff doesn’t begin his voted out speech. “Tony. That means we have a tie.” Your head whips around to look at Bucky again who smiles. “Here’s what is going to happen. You’re going to vote again, you can only vote for Tony or Y/N. They will not vote. The person with the most votes will go home. Got it? Good. Darcy, you’ll vote first.” 

Darcy’s Vote - You

“I... I’ve just got to go with my original vote. I don’t know what happened here.” 

Bucky’s Vote - Tony 

“Please, Nat. Please. Please. Please.”

Waiting for these votes are worse than the first round of votes. You can’t even look at Clint and Natasha, completely unsure of which of two would end up switching their vote. Your hopes were set on Nat recognizing Clint’s handwriting and understanding that’s where he wanted to go, but it’s just not a for sure thing and your heart is beating fast. 

Your foot is tapping incessantly on the ground. Bucky’s hand is resting on your lower back as Jeff begins to read the votes. Neither of you can imagine the other going home right now, not with this much game left to play. 

Jeff says your name. Then Tony’s. Then his again. You almost scream when his name comes out a third time. You look over to Nat and Clint. ‘Thank you.’ You mouth as Tony’s torch is extinguished. 

They nod subtly before turning to look at Jeff again. “Villains, you once again have proven that nobody is safe in this game. Especially those who think they are. Head back to camp, I’ll see you at the next challenge.” 

Natasha Romanoff - Villain Tribe 

“I don’t know why Clint switched his vote, but he told me he would explain it to me tomorrow. I’m just hoping he didn’t screw us over royally.” 

Day Eighteen 

The rain has finally taken a break and the clouds have parted to reveal the sun. Bucky can’t stop staring at your legs as the sun hits them just right. You’re glowing. 

You’ve lost weight, everybody does on this show, but it hasn’t changed much about you. He still finds his eyes trailing over your body and getting caught on your neck and hands and legs. Imagining them wrapped around him - sue him - he’s young and been stuck on an island with nothing more than some cuddles. 

He finds himself wanting to kiss you more and more everyday and that kind of scares him. He’s hoping for the merge for individual rewards he might get to take you on more than he is for finally being off this tribe. 

“Earth to Bucky.” Sand hits his chest and Bucky straightens out his back as you stand above him giggling. “Where’s your head at, handsome?” 

There’s already red on his cheeks from the sun and despite the feint burning sensation it leaves, he’s thankful for it covering up his blush. “Just thinking about the merge. What our plan will be.” 

“If we can get ourselves to the merge, I think we’re set.” You drop to sit beside him on the sand. “Besides, we have a whole day off. No challenge or anything, just enjoy us still being here. You worry too much.”

Bucky shakes his head with a laugh. “You don’t worry enough.” He nudges your foot with his own. “We’re hanging on by a thread here, sweets.” 

“We’ve flipped the vote twice now. I think we have a fighting chance here, Buck.” You giggle softly. Your hands dig into the sand as you lean back on them and lift your chin. 

Bucky swallows as his eyes trail down your neck and chest. “You’re right.” He pushes the words out. “Humor me, though? What our plan for the merge is?”

“If we lose again, hopefully we can convince Nat and Clint to get rid of Darcy. That should bring us right into the merge where we can break them up by working with Shuri and Wanda.” You explain quietly. 

Bucky’s eyes narrow. “Shuri and Wanda were on opposite sides in that tribal we saw. Then they voted off Scott, what makes you think Wanda will be safe until the merge?” 

“I don’t, I’m just going off of what ifs here. I just know that I know Wanda and Shuri, I’m hoping they’ll trust me and work together. We’ll need numbers and they’ll have them. There’s no way Steve will listen to my opinion, but he’ll listen to Wanda’s.” You turn your head to look at Bucky and let out a sigh. “It’s just an idea. We have to see what happens at the next challenge, okay? I can’t plan everything out.” 

Bucky shakes his head. “I wasn’t trying to have you plan everything out. I just wanted to know where your head was at. Not all of us have won this game, some of us want to make it far.” He regrets the words right away. Bucky knows good and well that you were taking this game just a serious, he doesn’t really know why he even implied that you weren’t. “Lis-”

“Obviously, you’re stressed.” You cut him off as you stand up. “I’ll let you take a breather. Cool off. But don’t snap at me because you’re anxious. It’s not my fault we’re here. We’ve been working together, if we go down it’s because of both of us. Not just one.” 

Bucky almost cowers back. He’s put off by your intent gaze and harsh tone. He’s never been on the receiving end of it and he had underestimated how small it could make someone feel. 

You dust the sand off of your thighs. “I’ve done a lot for us. I’ve been the brains behind a lot of these votes, Bucky. Don’t ever try and diminish that because I don’t go around talking to everyone or because I don’t perform as well as you in competitions. It’s disrespectful and a good way to get voted off.” You hiss before stomping down the beach. 

Bucky can only watch as you go, guilt squeezing his chest and consuming his mind. 

You - Villain Tribe 

“I trust him. I know he’s just anxious about what could happen, but he needs to understand I’m just as good at this game. That I know how to play.” You let out a deep sigh. “I don’t think I would actually vote him out, but I need him to know we’re equal partners. I have just as much power as he does.” 

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

notes // omgomgomg hi! this took a little longer than i thought just because i’m on vacation and haven’t had time to write until tonight! i hope you enjoyed this, a lot more content and some more changes in the game! i’m so excited for how this is coming together and it’s been so fun to writer! 

thank you so much for reading & i hope you enjoyed this part. i write for free, if you can please consider donating to my ko-fi! if you can’t, please reblog/reply, comments mean a lot to writers!

[mcustorm]

In Defense of a Black Cyclops

In case my username didn’t make it clear, the single most anticipated visual project for me is the MCU’s interpretation of the X-Men, which hasn’t even been announced yet [officially]. And ladies and gents, I have found your Cyclops:

Good ol’ Alfred Enoch, who we all know from Harry Potter and How to Get Away With Murder. If you’re not familiar with HTGAWM, know that his character goes from the de facto leader of the ragtag (murderers) and most cherished protege of Viola Davis’ Professor X to taking more of a grimdark turn after his girlfriend’s death. Sound at least somewhat familiar?

Enoch also embodies the physicality of the character well, seeing as to how he’s “slim”, 6′4(!!), black, and notoriously lanky. Wait, one of these isn’t like the others.

In general I hate fancasting. Everyone generally picks from the same pool of about 30 actors (Peeps, neither Taron nor Daniel is a good Wolverine choice. Argue with your mother!), and most all of it is based on physicality, except when it absolutely should be (like say, choosing a ~5′10 dark-skinned black woman for Storm).

And I think there’s some malarkey afoot. I think there needs to be some serious consideration on part of fancasters and actual casting agents alike to rethink race when it comes to the [white] X-Men, especially since they’re the X-Men of all teams. So I’ll make the case for a black Cyclops: 

1. There is no quota on Black X-Men: There’s a bug in your ear that’s been whispering lies to you for years, it says something to the effect of “We need a black person on the team for diversity. How bout Storm?” And you’ve gotten complacent. Storm does not have to be the only black person on your X-Men roster.

2. The X-Men represent diversity: Iceman is gay, Cyclops and Prof. X are disabled (sorta), there are plenty of women, oh and everybody except Storm is white. Of the A-List X-Men, there is only *one* POC character. I’d argue that an MCU X-Men needs to champion diversity like never before.

3. The X-Men represent minority struggle while being mostly white: There’s a cognitive dissonance in the metaphor that has always been there, and for the most part, nobody cares. To appeal to the white readers of the 60′s, the X-Men were all initially white. That way, the message of the mutants could be related to the audience with a familiar face. We don’t need to approach the problem that way in 202?

4. Just because that’s the way it’s always been, doesn’t mean that’s the way it should be: The first line of defense. Sorry, that will never be a good justification for literally any idea. It’s time for some more critical thinking.

5. We don’t all want to be Bishop: So say you’re white and you have a kid who for his birthday having a costume party. You’ve bought some X-Men costumes and you want each kid to pick one. 9 white kids and one black kid show up to your house. As the kids deliberate who gets what costume, be it Cyke or Wolvie or whatever, you yell at everybody to “STOP!”, point to the one black kid and tell him “You’re gonna be Bishop. That’s it, end of story!” 

We don’t all want to be Bishop. The black child could have the best Cyclops interpretation within him, but you’ll never know if you don’t let him try. And that’s no different from the Black actors of Hollywood. There’s no reason why all of the black talent should *have* to compete for the role of Bishop or Storm, which I’ve discussed, while Joe Schmo can walk up and audition for literally anybody he wants.          

Jharrel Jerome is 23 and has an Emmy to his name. He needs to be in the MCU in some capacity, period. Stephan James is another. How bout Damson Idris. Ashton Sanders. But no, no, let’s fancast Dacre Montgomery or Ansel or Joe Keery again as [Human Torch, Wolverine, Iceman, Angel, I’ve literally seen it all.]

6. Nobody wants to see the B-team if it comes down to it. The next line of defense from your racebending naysayers after “That’s the way it’s always been!” is “Well, what about Psylocke, Bishop, Forge and Jubilee?” who are otherwise known as B-tier X-Men. The problem is, we’ve got limited time and limited spots.

So since the X-Men is all about wonky metaphors that make half sense, let me give you another: Let’s say somebody approaches you and says “Hey buddy, I got two free concert tickets for ya! You can either see Michael Jackson Sings the Blues, or you can go see Justin Timberlake. Free of charge!”

Now, are you used to MJ singing the blues? No! Do you have a problem with going to see Justin Timberlake? No, he’s fine on a Wednesday! He had that one little diddy we liked that one time. We’d love to see him eventually! But are you gonna say, “fuck that, I’m going to see MJ Sings the Blues” regardless? Hell yes, because that’s still Michael Jackson. He’s gonna give the same amazing performance he always does, it’s just gonna be the blues. And speaking of blues...

7. Black is not Blue, Brown is not Blue: Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard this one: “I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or green, I’m going to treat you all the same!” I will not say all have this intention, but some fancasters have noticed that the racial diversity is kinda low within the A-List X-Men, so they oh-so-generously give the following roles to a black or brown person: Iceman, Nightcrawler, Beast. 

Notice the pattern? It’s a microaggression, and it’s bullshit. What these fancasters are implicitly telling you is that, yes the actors will be black or brown, but when the action starts we can ignore that. They’ll be blue by then. In other words, you in fact do care if they’re purple or green. Nobody will cry foul if Dev Patel gets to play Nightcrawler (because that’s a common one I see), but should Anna Diop be Starfire or Michael B. Jordan be Human Torch, I bet there’d be backlash. Oh wait. If that’s you, please stop acting like you actually value diversity. You don’t want to see black or brown skin, period. Unless of course, it’s Storm (refer to point #1).

But wait, there’s more! When brown characters get whitewashed in these movies, it’s crickets! So eventually it’s revealed implicitly that proclaimers of point #4 only care about it one way.

8. Professor X should not be black if you’re not willing to change anyone else: The next line of defense is that some people say the professor should be black, if anybody HAS to be racebent. Something something MLK Jr., Civil Rights or some shit. Number one, I’m not reducing Professor X to being a magical negro for 9 white people (and Storm!) who for all intents and purposes get to have all the action. Number 2, the Professor X/MLK/Magneto/Malcolm X comparison is an oversimplifying disservice to ALL FOUR of those people. I hate that line whenever I see it, please watch a documentary my friends. 

9. The Candidates for Racebending: For me, the A-List X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Beast, Wolverine, Storm, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Kitty Pryde. Now, who should be exempt from the racebending? Storm, she’s our designated minority. Gambit, he’s Cajun and they’re white (generally speaking, that’s a fun bit of research). Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler, because their nationality/ethnicity was the whole point of the Giant-Size premise in the first place. Angel, because his character embodies a privileged white male. Beast and Iceman, I don’t care one way or another (Point #7).

That leaves Cyclops, Rogue, Jean Grey, and Kitty Pryde. Now Jean Grey is a redhead, and we all know that every time a redhead is racebent people sharpen their pitchforks (Mary Jane, Wally West, Iris West), so I will cede the ground on Jean if only so that my ginger friends can get their rep. Kitty Pryde is Jewish, but Jews of color exist. Rogue is from the South. And Cyclops is, well, just Cyclops. That makes those three characters good options for more diversity. But allow me to make the case for Cyclops, specifically.

10. It’s not just diversity for diversity’s sake: If you had to pick who the main character of the X-Men is supposed to be, most would say Cyclops. And so in a series that highlights racial discrimination in society, it makes sense that our main character be black. While changing Cyclops’ skin color should not change who he is as a character, it *should* recontextualize it. Now, as an eventual increasingly radical leader of the X-Men, Cyclops would evoke real life figures such as Colin Kaepernick or, shall I say, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not that most X-Men fans and writers truly think about what it means to be black anyways. Storm’s minority status is almost always put through the lens of her being a mutant and not her being a black woman. In other words, you can’t argue that making a character black will fundamentally change his or her character when you haven’t even analyzed the racial context of the black character(s) you already have. Another concept that the MCU X-Men should tackle: intersectionality.

11. Representation matters: I have to say it: Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther hit different. And now he is tragically gone. At the end of the day, the MCU moving forward is down its most prominent black male superhero. Which has implications beyond just the movies themselves.

The women are in good hands. Shuri, Okoye, and Nakia are badasses in Wakanda, Valkyrie is ruling Asgard, Storm is almost assuredly on the way, RiRi Williams has already been cast, and Monica Rambeau is here and she’s not even at her most glorious yet. That doesn’t even include variable Δ, or the number of characters who can and will be racebent. And I’ll note again that to me, Gamora doesn’t count, because she’s green (#7 really pisses me off because it’s so blatant. I hate it). Of course from a behind the camera perspective we love black women getting work.

The men are a completely different story. Imma just go out and say it, I can’t stand Falcon and War Machine [in the MCU] because they’re not characters, they’re just two of a slew of MCU minority sidekicks who have essentially been at the beck and call of Captain America and Iron Man, respectively. You cannot tell Falcon’s story without mentioning Cap. The reverse is not true. There’s a whole essay that could be and have been written on “Minorities in the MCU, pre-Black Panther”. Remember, there’s a reason BP made so much noise in the first place.

So excluding those two we have, let’s see, M’Baku, Blade, and Fury who aren’t exactly the most superheroic superheroes, Eli Bradley is proooobably coming, I doubt Miles Morales is coming (because he’s just Peter Parker in the MCU), Luke Cage(?) Bishop(??), Sunspot(???), Blue Marvel(????). Not only are they not A-List, I would not put money on any of them being in the MCU any time soon.

Cyclops is thee Captain America of the X-Men. He’s the frontman. He’s the poster boy. He’s the “boy scout”, which in other words means he’s the hero, if there has to be one. It would mean a lot right now, and specifically *right now*, if he were to be black. The MCU needs it. It NEEDS it.

12. The X-Men is the Summers Story: I’ll even make the case that if just one character needs to racebent, then it should be Cyclops, because that of course implies that other related characters need to be black because half of the X-Men universe is in fact a part of the Summers family. 

So now Cable is black. Corsair is black. Havok is black. And one of the most central stories in the X-Men mythos, the Summers family drama, is now a black family drama set in space or the future or where the fuck ever. The concept is boundary pushing. When white families have drama in the media, it gets to be Game of Thrones or Star Wars, while when black families have drama in the media, it has to be black people arguing in a kitchen or living room about their various earthly traumas (I’m @’ing you, Mr. Perry). I mean, that’s all fine and good often times, but I want my black family drama in space, dammit.

And again, this is the X-Men, the series that’s all about *minorities* and their struggle, so again, why not?

Oh, and I’ll even throw out a Havok fancast for you: How bout Jharrel Jerome?

[achubbydumpling]

Form your previous tags: "Nomad Steve fucks you from behind with his belly brushing the small of your back" 👀🥴

I feel like Bucky would love this increasingly chubby Steve visiting him in Wakanda and doing exactly that.

aww you actually read what I ramble about in the tags (on this post) 🥺

also I think I should rename my chubtober to "catching up with asks"-tober because that's like all I've been doing 😂 anyway I'm using a wild card prompt for this one even though I have ideas for the actual prompt of Goosebumps and Chills, (I'm just too tired to write anything new right now 😅)

Oct 4: Bulging Bellies and Love Handles

so, yess absolutely Bucky would love it

"I thought you were smaller," Bucky says when he sees Steve for the first time after cryo

Steve has filled out a bit, his waist was visibly thicker, he looks sturdy in his suit, strong, robust, grounded in a way despite the uncertainty radiating off him

Steve had spent the last few weeks in Wakanda after Shuri told him, she had a plan on how to undo the trigger words

but the Wakandan food was not entirely to blame for his weight gain

Steve has one vice: he has a massive sweet tooth

pre-serum he'd never been able to indulge in it the way he wanted because too much sugar made him sick

but then while worrying about Bucky and if Shuri's plan would work he'd eaten every sugary thing in sight

milk puddings and fried dough, hard candies, toasted waffles for breakfast, lunch and dinner when he first discovered them, full-sized candy bars hidden in all his pockets, even though they're always slightly melted from a combination of his increased body temperature and the hot weather

so yes Bucky can tell that Steve gained a bit of weight when he sees him again

the first time Bucky sees Steve he's wearing the nomad suit and it does a pretty good job of hiding the way his belly is puffing up and starting to actually curve out even when he isn't full from a day of eating

Steve gets to stay with Bucky in Wakanda for a week before an emergency means he has to leave for a few days, which turns into a few weeks

when Steve comes back after three weeks the suit is struggling a bit more to hide the new chub he's accumulated

the mission turned out way less physically demanding than expected and Steve had spent most of his days eating while listening to the bugs they'd planted on the target

the bit of softness around his middle has turned into an actual belly when Steve returns to Wakanda

his gut is still contained pretty well by his suit, even though it had been harder and harder to put on with every new pound

Bucky isn't sure if it's just a trick of the light though, the material seems to be straining more to contain Steve, but Bucky isn't sure if that's actually the case or if it's just wishful thinking

the only way to know is to get Steve out of that suit

Bucky wants to take his time, but when he goes to unbuckle Steve's belt he can't help, but notice that it's on its last notch

and once he's unbuckled the belt, he can see the buttons on Steve's trousers straining to stay closed and the fabric pulled tight over his thighs

excitemet bubbles up in Bucky's chest like a kid on Christmas he's unwrapping his present without any care for the wrapping paper

when Bucky pulls the trousers over Steve's thick thighs he can hear the seams creaking in protest

but it doesn't matter when Steve is just as eager to get out of his clothes

he kicks his boots off while Bucky works on removing the armour on Steve's upper body

when he finally finds the zipper, Bucky can't help but trace his fingers over it, the zipper is absolutely straining to stay closed

Bucky barely touches the zipper and it starts opening on it's own, Steve's gut surges forward

how did Steve even manage to close the zipper this morning? how did it stay closed the entire day?

(haha I'm just picturing this fanart, chunky hunk Steve :D)

Bucky goes absolutely wild for the belly, he's been imagining for weeks what Steve will look like after gaining more weight

he did not anticipate an actual belly that's already starting to get a bit of an overhang, the soft underside in contrast with his rounder and more firm upper belly

and normally when they haven't seen eachother for some time, they're all sweet with eachother the first time back, lots of eye contact and whispered confessions of how much they missed each other

but this time Bucky is on the bed presenting his ass like a bitch in heat before Steve can even ask what's gotten into him because Bucky is that feral for Steve right now

Steve quickly gets with the program, he's barely a knuckle deep in Bucky before he can't help himself but tease a bit about Bucky's eagerness

"What's got you going like this? Hm, the beard?"

Steve is draped Bucky's back, practically rubbing his face all over the back of Bucky's neck with his belly resting on his lower back

"The hair?" Steve asks and grinds against Bucky, pressing his middle even harder against his back

Bucky pushes himself back against Steve, he shakes his head, but instead of an actual answer Steve forces a low groan out of him when he pushes another lubed up finger inside him

"What is it then?" Steve asks, almost casually dragging his dick between Bucky's cheeks and over his own fingers, buried in Bucky's hole, like he's not just as desperate to fill Bucky up

"Need you," is all Bucky can say, he adds a breathy, "please"

Bucky doesn't have to ask twice, Steve pulls his fingers out slowly and before Bucky can whine about the loss, Steve pushes right back in with his dick

the stretch sets nerve endings on fire all the way up his body and Bucky collapses forward from leaning on his elbow to his chest being flush with the bed, his hand is fisted into the sheets

Steve goes slow, but Bucky keeps slightly circling his hips, not pushing back, but moving just enough that Steve wants to grab his hips and pull Bucky onto his dick

when he finally bottoms out, Steve sits up from where he had been leaning on Bucky

but even with his back straight Bucky can still feel the ghost of Steve's belly on his his lower back

Bucky is about to tell Steve just that when he starts moving

he pulls out slightly and the movement send tiny sparks of pleasure flying, that turn any current sentence into an appreciative groan

he doesn't think he'll last very long tonight, but he isn't too worried about it because Steve is on the same page as him

his fingers are doing into Bucky's hips and he pulls Bucky back as much as he drives his hips forward

and every time Steve buries himself in Bucky, he can feel Steve's belly on his lower back, just barely there, but definitely brushing over his skin there

Bucky can't take it much longer, he's half lying on his chest and shoulder, his neck is at a slightly awkward angle as he snakes his hand down his front and wraps it tightly around his own cock

he intends to hold himself off from coming right away, but as soon as he gets his hand on himself, Bucky starts fucking into it with the same rhythm Steve is setting

"Steve," he mewls and of course Steve understands right away

"Just a bit longer, baby." He picks up his pace and really starts slamming into Bucky, the filthy noise of Steve's hips slapping against Bucky's ass make him moan with every thrust

"'m so close, a little longer, Buck" Steve keeps repeating the last part

and hearing his name in Steve's lips as he falls apart, just drives Bucky closer to the edge

Bucky meets Steve's next thrust and instead of pulling back again Steve falls forward and drives himself as deeply into Bucky as he can

his entire weight is resting on Bucky's back and his soft belly is pressed against Bucky's back

Steve comes with a shout and Bucky actively starts jerking himself off to follow over that edge just a few moments later

they stay like that for a minute, just coming back to themselves and enjoying the closeness before they become aware of the sticky sweat on their bodies drying

Steve drags his face over the back of Bucky's neck like a cat and purrs into his ear, "so, it is the belly"

[stony-barnes]

TFAWS Spoilers

Am I the only one not taking sides with the Ayo and Bucky scene? Like I understand why she did what she did but that doesn't mean it's justifiable. Just like I understand why he busted Zemo out of prison and didn't notify them but that doesn't make it justifiable either.

Yes, she gave him a deadline and then said they were coming for Zemo and Bucky understood that. They came and then Walker fucked it up by displaying some Alpha bullshit. They were fighting and Bucky stepped in because he realised Sam didn't want any blood on their hands anymore. So Ayo used what she knew about the fail safe and disarmed him (literally) in order to get the upper hand. You can see the small amount of regret in her eyes (even though she covered it up quickly) because she knows that Bucky now realises that no one in Wakanda truly trusted him and that a very important piece of information was kept from him. You don't see fear in his eyes, you see sadness and the realisation dawn on him that people still associate him with what Hydra forced him to become.

If you noticed, he only used his metal arm once; and that was to stop Ayo from shiskabbing Walker. Then from there he uses his right arm and was just trying to deflect her hits while simultaneously trying to negotiate/calm her down. A lot of people are mad, not at Ayo specifically, but are mad because of what her actions mean.

1. She took a prosthetic off of a man who is considered an army veteran by a lot of folks (rightfully so).

2. She took advantage of the knowledge she had and disarmed him with out permission, (he didn't even know the fail safe existed until that point) and that is what people find disrespectful. Also, people are mad because it can be assumed that the people in Wakanda (specifically the Dora Milaje and Shuri and T’Chala) didn't trust him enough to not go back to the Winter Soldier. Even after they realised he was finally "free" they still didn't trust him or tell him about the fail safe.

Now on to Bucky

It can also be assumed that Bucky and Ayo had a strong bond and connection during his time in Wakanda. She was the one who helped him get "free" of the triggers that plagued him. She was also joyous when she realised that he was “free”. Ayo was there with and for Bucky. So it's understandable why she feels betrayed and hurt by him. Zemo was the man who killed King T'Chaka. Ayo was the woman who was chosen to protect him and essentially failed at the one job she had. Even though she is second in command, the royals of Wakanda trusted her with their lives and she couldn't live up to that trust. For such a long time they tried to hunt Zemo down and bring justice to their country.

Just to find out that the very man they helped, broke the very man, who is responsible for the death of their king, out of prison and never notified them or even gave a quick heads up. Instead of reacting violently, Ayo left a couple of signs for him to meet her and explained her frustrations. Bucky never argued with that, never tried to provide an excuse for his actions either but he still broke Zemo out of prison (even if he is a means to an end). Instead of getting the Dora Milaje to take Zemo then and there, she gives him 8 hours. This shows that no matter what he's done she still gives him the respect that he deserves and lets him gather whatever he needed (whether it was enough time or not is debatable). Ayo could have done so much in so little time but she wanted to give Bucky a chance (and in my opinion the benefit of the doubt). Ayo let it play out and when the time was up she made good on what she told him. Here she is, finally about to bring justice to her people when the fight scene happens. She sees he's not going to let her hurt/slash kill Walker so she does what she felt she needed to do in order to capture Zemo (who escaped anyway).

In conclusion they are both human and just want to do right by people. They never tried to justify what they’ve done so let’s do the same. They deserve love and appreciation and not this bs hate that they're getting.

STAN THE BOTH OF THEM

[astarryon]

Another Lifetime: Shouldn’t Have Gotten Shot

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Description of war and battle injuries, mentions of blood, gunshots, language, etc.

Summary: Bucky doesn’t like talking about her, but Dr. Raynor isn’t an easy person to argue with. And now that it’s summer –– now that he’s living through the months they’d shared together all over again, only without her by his side –– fighting the memories becomes all the more difficult.

A/N: Listen, I really don’t know what’s gotten into me but ever since tfatws started I have been INSPIRED! Hoping to update this fic sem regularly, but we’ll see where the new school term takes us. As always, I hope you enjoy, and feel free to let me know what you think!

Bucky Barnes has never been overly fond of the summer.

One aspect was the fact that he could remember what it was like to be a miserable kid living in a cramped Brooklyn apartment with no air conditioning and three baby sisters who never stopped whining about the heat. Of all the jumbled, foggy memories bouncing around the confines of his skull, that one is clearer than most. And though he still finds it difficult to picture the faces of his little sisters –– can’t hardly remember arcs of their noses, much less the colors of each of their eyes –– a nostalgic, brotherly feeling washes over him all the same.

There’s also the little detail that he’d received his draft notice in the summer months. That Bucky remembers perfectly, one of the few memories strong enough to remain unmuddied by all those years of shitbag scientists rooting around his head and picking his brain apart. The heat that year had been sweltering, and once his mother found him in her kitchen with that damned letter clutched between his fingers, he felt it burn right through the strings of his heart. 

The first week of July delivered the news. The last saw him shipping out to bootcamp. 

He guessed he didn’t mind the sunshine. That part had always been nice, and it helped to calm him on occasion these days, to remember that the golden rays licking comforting heat up his skin were the same ones which had shone down on him back in the 40s, before and during the war.

Before Hydra had condemned him to seventy long years of dark and cold.

To that end, logic said the season he really should hate was winter, but he’d never felt any ill will toward the colder months, and found now, in the present, that he’d only grown fonder of them. When the rain came down from the sky in sheets, or when snow fell so thick it resembled white, puffy clouds blanketing the ground, he took walks. Partly because no other soul would be idiotic enough to trudge through a borderline natural disaster at three in the morning, meaning he wouldn’t have to put up with prying eyes and conspicuously pointing fingers, and partly because experiencing said natural disasters in solitude did wonders for the soul.

Steve thought it was strange. Hated that Bucky did it, kept insisting that he at least take a goddamn jacket, there isn’t any actual proof he can’t get pneumonia. But Bucky always shook his head and declined, rolling his eyes and muttering beneath his breath about how apparently the tables have fucking turned.

But, no. The winter, the rain, the cold –– none of that could ever draw half as much ire from him as did the gentle beginnings of June, the scorching heat of July, the fading light of August. Because those weren’t the things which served as reminders from before.

Reminders of her.

“James. Did you hear me?”

Bucky blinks hard, freeing his gaze from the wall calendar tacked up and viewable just over his doctor’s shoulder. Glancing down, he sees the familiar green of the velvet armchair –– one of three options for patients to choose from in her office, and Bucky’s personal favorite on account of the way its textures did something to sooth him as he gripped its arm anxiously with his flesh hand –– and the worn, fraying knees of his black jeans against it. He doesn’t bother meeting his therapist’s gaze. He already knows which of her expressions he’ll find her leveling at him, if he does.

“Sorry,” Bucky mutters, sucking his teeth. He hopes his voice isn’t quite as strained as it sounds –– though, judging by the way Dr. Raynor clucks her tongue as her fingers twitch toward her pen, it definitely is. “Guess I’m a little scattered today.”

The sardonic hum Raynor gives in response as she knowingly tilts her head nearly makes him open his mouth to finish the silent argument she’d started, but Bucky knows better than that. The moment he starts up, she’ll feign innocence and inquire as to why he feels the need to defend himself when no verbal accusation has been made. God damn, it would be just his luck to end up with the one government assigned therapist actually capable at her job.

“That’s what you said yesterday,” Dr. Raynor offers. “And the two days before, if memory serves me right.”

Bucky shakes his head and tsks, tapping a metal finger against his temple. “Not a funny joke, doc. Remember the audience you’re dealing with here.”

“‘Deflecting.’”

The word drops from Raynor’s mouth with a simpleness that puzzles him.

“‘Scuse me?” he prompts when she only goes on to stare at him owlishly.

“Oh, that’s what I’d be writing in my notebook,” she explains simply, folding her hands together in her lap and leaning back in her chair. “If we were using it right now, that is.”

Again, Bucky rolls his eyes, and has to make an active attempt not to cross his arms like a forlorn child. The threat in her words is easily recognizable, not that she’d really bothered trying to conceal it. She knows that damn notebook irritates him more than any other aspect of their current arrangement, and he knows she’s not bluffing. If he doesn’t start talking, Raynor starts writing –– and if Raynor starts writing, he gets tailed by government watchdogs to ensure there are no imminent incidents lurking in the near future.

He sighs dejectedly and meets her gaze. “What was it you asked me?”

“What it is about the month of June that makes you so uncomfortable.”

Bucky blinks, red alarm bells shrieking in his head. Fuck, he can’t help but think. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Caught red handed.

“June’s fine,” he tries, but even to his own ears the assurance sounds weak. To think, he’d once been the most prolific tool of espionage around –– now he can hardly deliver a lie with a straight face. “Don’t have any feelings toward it one way or the other.”

“Strike two,” Raynor quips, glancing one again toward her pen.

Fuck!

Exhaling sharply through his nose, Bucky sits a little straighter in his seat, searching for any semblance of comfort to be found while already knowing he was bound to come up short. Damn it all. She wasn’t going to let him out of this one.

“Alright, hold your horses,” he sighs, waving a halting hand. Raynor’s expression doesn’t shift. She simply continues peering at him with her dark eyes, waiting patiently for his next few words to come. “Why do you assume I’ve got a problem with June?”

“Because you didn’t start staring at that calendar until it switched over from May,” Raynor supplies. “Like I mentioned, today isn’t the only day you’ve been scattered. Seems like something we should consider talking about.”

“No,” Bucky answers quickly. Too quickly. Shit. If she thought he’d been deflecting before, he didn’t even want to know the words running through her mind in regards to his behavior now. “I mean–– well, no. I don’t think it’s that important.”

Raynor arches a brow. “Funny,” she tells him, “the way your eyes keep drifting back to the word ‘June’ tells me otherwise.”

He sighs, worrying the inside of his cheek with his teeth. Caught between a rock and an even bigger, weightier rock. The universe really wasn’t one to take his side often.

Bucky knows there really isn’t any choice here. Either he does what Raynor asks and elaborates on his suspicious behavior, or he risks facing the repercussions of those notes she’ll be jotting down in her notebook. Which of the two evils is more definitively the lesser, he can’t rightly say, but he knows which of the consequences he’d prefer to suffer through. And they’re certainly not the ones which see him robbed of the ability to walk freely down the street without a detail of armed babysitters.

So he figures that, maybe for once, being honest can’t be the worst decision to make.

“A few years ago, back before the blip,” Bucky tries, “I spent a summer in Wakanda.”

“Housed by the royal family,” Raynor nods, tone soft. “We’ve spoken about that before. You said you found it peaceful there. That you liked it.”

He did, and still does. On the nights when his mind isn’t quiet enough to let him find sleep but his heart feels light enough to forego the slideshow of horrors he’d been made to suffer throughout the years, Bucky’s thoughts often return to the bliss which life in Wakanda had offered him. He’d remember the farm he kept there, the little children who would come to sing and play and dance in trees to keep him company in the afternoons. He’d remember Princess Shuri –– Just Shuri, James, come now –– and the kindness she’d displayed in deactivating the deeper, most concerning parts of his programming. The day she’d told him it was done, turned off, that he’d never be forced to revert back to the Soldier against his will again, he’d rushed her and caught her up in a bearhug so relieved and forceful that her Dora Milaje detail had actually pointed their spears at him. He’d remember the tranquility of it all, the simpleness.

The peace.

There’s no hope of him being able to return to that place any time soon, much as he’d like to, but the memories sit resolutely concrete in his mind. The first of a new set which he’d never have to worry about being stolen away from him by the currents of an electric shock.

“It’s a nice place,” Bucky affirms, sighing wistfully at the thoughts swirling up in his head. “I bring it up because back then, that summer… I started remembering a few things. From before.”

Raynor keeps her face smooth and composed, but Bucky notices the twitch in her cheek that says she’s got a question. “When you say before,” she asks, voice gentle, “do you mean your time as the Winter Soldier?”

He shakes his head, swallowing thickly. Ironically, things would be easier, were that the case. He might not be so miserable in the present, seeing the month of June start all over again. The melancholy might not be so strong. “No, not then. I mean from before. From the 40s, during the war. I don’t know if it was Wakanda’s heat that did it, or that my programming was officially deactivated. But one night I went to sleep in my hut like normal, and then the next morning I woke up, and… and I remembered.”

Raynor clasps her hand together in her lap, the pen, the notebook, the hesitation all forgotten. Bucky sees it in her expression, the shock at the fact that he’s speaking, that she’s actually making progress in getting him to talk about things so painful he often wonders if they aren’t better left in the past. He’s still trying to figure that one out. Miserable as he’s been for the first four days of June, he figures nothing good or relieving or positive can come from retelling this particular tale. It’s all behind him now, and there isn’t anything to be done to change the ending in any significant way.

But… but he figures he owes it to her. As painful as the memories are, they can’t be anything in comparison to what she must have gone through in the aftermath of it all.

Slowly, Raynor crosses one ankle over the other. “What was it that you remembered, James?”

Bucky sighs, closing his eyes and inhaling as deep a breath as he can pull. He lets it loose after counting to six, then opens his eyes again and crosses his arms over his chest. “It started back in June of 1944. I got shot.”

––

June 1st, 1944

It was damn lucky you weren’t sleeping much these days.

A funny thought, really. One which brings a sarcastic, bitter smile to your lips as you bend your neck to get a closer look at your handiwork. Wasn’t it just two nights ago that you’d been laying in your cot, staring up at the moon through the flap of your tent and counting all the reasons it wasn't fair that the bliss of unconsciousness evaded you? Wasn’t it three that you’d considered sneaking into the med tent and downing a few of the sleeping pills meant for the soldiers? You hadn’t, of course –– god only knew the sort of trouble you’d get in if it came to pass that you were caught –– but the consideration had been there all the same.

“Fuckin’ shit!”

The foul language, mixed with the rough jerk of the body beneath your dexterous hands, was enough to steal your attention back from your jaded inner monologue. Nearly two years back, when you’d first signed on to work as a field nurse, the pained outburst would have sent you flinching. Now, the swearing isn’t anything new, and thankfully for the soldier whose leg you were currently stitching up, it was no longer anywhere near enough to give you pause.

“You better hold still unless you want this to scar even worse than it's already going to,” you tell him matter of factly, gently tugging the thread the rest of the way through your current stitch.

The soldier –– Matthews? Moore? You can hardly remember the name he’d gasped at you in pain, but you’re sure it started with an ‘M’ –– rakes his dirty hands over his even dirtier face, brown eyes squeezing themselves shut as his fingers quake with agony. “Sorry,” he rasps, skin paling. “Just… Jesus, shit hurts so bad!”

You cluck your tongue, guilt racking your heart as you push the needle through his skin once more. “Shouldn’t have gotten shot then, genius,” you murmur, shaking your head disapprovingly.

It works. For a moment the soldier’s face twists in disbelief, and in the next, a shuddering, wheezing gasp of laughter expels itself from his throat. The sight is bleak, but it’s enough to twist your heart with warmth as you once again pull the thread through the stitch. You’d learned in the first few months of working as a nurse on the frontlines that the last thing these men wanted or needed was to be coddled along over their injuries, especially by a woman. Vulnerability was more averse to them now than ever before.

Personally, you don’t much understand it –– but your work isn’t, and has never been, about yourself. 

“Look, why don’t you tell me something,” you start, glancing up to… Morrison’s…? face in apology before sticking him with the needle yet again. He jerks, but not quite so violently this time. Another one down. Only about a thousand more to go tonight. “How’d all this happen? I thought you boys weren’t meant to scope the new territory until tomorrow afternoon. Y’know, in the daylight? When you can actually see whether or not someone in the distance is pointing a gun at you?”

“Unit leader was gettin’ jumpy,” the soldier coughs out, groaning against the pain. Guilt stabs your heart like a knife. You’d have given him something for the pain if you had it, something to numb the wound. But shipments of med supplies were behind, and it would be at least a week before you got your hands on anything like that again. “Said going at night would be better, that we could get the drop on them before they even knew we were coming.”

“Yeah,” you scoff, rolling your eyes. “Never mind the fact that their soldiers know the land better than ours do.”

So, the unit leader had jumped the gun. You’d figured as much, when two of your nurses had run into your tent with messy hair and sleep addled expressions, panicking about the oncoming slew of injured soldiers who needed immediate medical attention. That had been two hours, six patients, and about one hundred and ninety seven stitches ago.

Again. It was lucky you weren’t sleeping much these days.

The soldier whose leg you were currently stitching up opened his mouth to speak –– whether to snark along with you at the poor choice made by the unit’s leadership or to blindly defend his superior’s decision, you couldn’t be altogether sure –– but before he could even fix his mouth to properly shape the words, a sudden roar of someone else’s agony effectively cut him off.

Steadying your hands, you carefully turn to peer over your shoulder, searching for the source of the commotion. All night, you’d been surrounded by a cacophony of screaming soldiers, but that yell of pain is one you’re certain hasn’t yet met your ears. And, as you watch the flap of the med tent swing back before admitting entry to three people –– one of your nurses and two soldiers, one leaning bodily against the other –– you discover that your assumption is correct.

“We got a bad one,” the nurse –– Sally, curly haired, nearing twenty four and a bit more capable than the other girls when met with the sight of blood –– shouts. Her eyes scan the tent, searching and searching until her gaze finally lands on you. She pauses only a moment to turn and direct the uninjured soldier to drag the one he’s supporting over to an empty cot before barrelling in your direction. “Gunshot wound to the abdomen. I haven’t really had the chance to get a good look at it, but he’s–– well, to be frank, that man has lost a shit ton of blood.”

A gutshot. Poor guy would either go through a sickening amount of pain just to die, or he’d survive, and end up having to endure even more pain. Either way, in light of your depleted supply of painkillers, ‘excruciating’ didn’t even begin to describe it.

Oh, damn it all.

“Take over here for me,” you command, gesturing with your chin to the needle perched between your fingers. Sally’s already moving to pluck it from your hand before you’ve even finished speaking. “He’s got about fifteen to go before we even think about sending him back to his tent. Don’t let him convince you otherwise.”

“You don’t think I know better?” Sally remarks drily, but you don’t have the time to come up with a witty comeback. You’re already on your feet and rushing toward the soldier writhing in pain across the tent, reflexively grabbing a collection of gauze, thread, tweezers, and rubbing alcohol along the way.

This isn’t going to be much fun for either of you.

The first thing you do is excuse the uninjured soldier, the one who’d carried him in. For one, there isn’t any need to keep him witness, and for another, you work better when an addition of unnecessary eyes aren’t tracking your every move. Besides. You doubt the poor soul laying on your med cot is at all interested in one of his peers –– one not sick or out of his mind due to his own pain, that is –– see him in this state. So, you simply thank the young man for his assistance and shoo him back in the direction from which he’d come, waiting until he’s passed the tent’s entrance before turning your full, undivided attention to your newest patient.

He’s got his eyes screwed shut tight in pain. You can hardly blame him. Of all the wounds to suffer through, a gutshot has the potential to win least desirable. It’s easy enough to see why, as the young man’s handsome features carve themselves into an expression of despair. A slick sheen of sweat coats his pale forehead, dampening his dark hair and sticking it to his skin. He’s biting down so hard on his bottom lip in effort to swallow his screams that you’re genuinely shocked he hasn’t drawn blood.

Though, part of you wonders if there’s even enough blood left in his body for his lip to bleed. Deep scarlet blooms stain his green shirt, so thoroughly soaked through that the fabric has turned almost black. Swathes of red cover his torso, his pants, the pale skin of his arms. It’s everywhere, already leaking onto the white sheets of the cot.

Sally wasn’t kidding. He really has lost a shit ton of blood.

“Hey there, soldier,” you start up, setting your collection of medical supplies down before taking a closer look at his torso. Shirt sticking to his skin the way it is, you aren’t going to be able to get much done until it’s out of the way. And, given that this man is certainly in no state to shrug it off himself, you’ve got no choice but to cut it. Lucky that you’d thought to grab a pair of scissors too, you suppose. “Don’t suppose you might be able to help a girl out by telling her what year it is?”

His jaw works for a few moments, teeth grinding together so forcefully the sound is audible. You think he might be gearing up to let loose another scream before he shakes his head a single time. “I got–– got shot,” he wheezes, whole body shaking, “not concussed. Don’t–– ah, don’t really… get how the year’s relevant.”

You exhale a bemused scoff through your nose, considering your response as your scissors work their way through the bloody fabric concealing his wound. You’re working as gently as you can, and so far it seems to be doing the trick. The soldier hasn’t flinched once since you started, though it’s hard to tell if that’s more due to the fact that he hadn’t noticed any difference one way or the other, or if it’s because he’s dedicating what strength he has left to keeping his head screwed onto his shoulders.

“Fair point,” you reply, still carefully cutting through his shirt. “How about a name, then? Little more relevant to the conversation, I’d say.”

It takes a few moments of silence for him to respond –– almost as if he’s trying to remember that he’s got a name –– but eventually, it comes.

“James,” he tells you, the single syllable leaving his mouth in a pained grunt.

You nod, cutting away the last of the fabric. “Nice to meet you, James,” you tell him, carefully peeling the tatters of his ruined shirt from his abdomen. “You just hold tight a little longer for me, alright? We’ll fix you up good as new.”

It isn’t a pretty sight, what you find beneath. Under all that red is a nasty wound, jagged and swollen at the edges, punched into the flesh just beneath the southmost edge of his ribcage. Thankfully, no bones have been hit –– a shattered rib would be immediately evident, both in the pitch of his screams and the deformed shape of his chest –– but the wound is more than a little inflated. There’s a puffiness to it that you can’t comprehend, a stiffness to its perimeter that doesn’t click in your mind, until––

Until you see the small, dark center, and suddenly it does.

You swear beneath your breath, a filthy, ugly word that you’d picked up a few weeks back from one of your patients. You don’t even know what it means, not really, but speaking it feels cathartic enough that you don’t altogether care.

Oh, sweet, holy hell.

James cracks an eye open, muttering, “Darlin’, you rea–– you really gotta work on your bedside manner.”

“Alright, listen to me, James,” you tell him, forgoing a witty response. You don’t have the time, not considering what you’re now dealing with, and you figure James will appreciate your working hands more than he’ll appreciate your shitty attempts at banter. “There’s… there’s something I need to do for you, before I can start patching you up. Now, normally I could give you something for the pain, but we’re out of the anesthetic I need. So this isn’t gonna… it’s not gonna feel very good.”

James looses a labored sigh, oddly calm for the clear anguish marring his face. “Shit, well good news,” he mutters, swallowing thickly, “it already doesn’t.”

His lashes flutter in a telltale manner, one which lets you know he’s getting closer to the brink and you’re running short on time. It’s easy enough, not to give in to the panic this incites in your chest. You’ve been doing this job a long time now, know that what James needs is your calm, your level-headedness. Those things have a higher chance of keeping him alive, of seeing to it that he comes out of this on the other side. Scarred up, maybe, and without the ability to breathe as deep as he once could, but still alive.

You shake your head, grabbing the tweezers from where you’d set them down before planting your forearm against an uninjured section of James’ bare chest for leverage. “Alright, big breaths, James. You scream as loud as you want or need to, but just… try and stay as still as you can, okay? I won’t be able to stop until it’s done.”

The only answer he gives in response is a shaky nod, the thick black fringe of his lashes brushing his cheekbones as his lips begin to move at a speed with which your eyes can hardly track. A prayer, you figure, or a plea for a quick end. Whichever it is, it helps him to relax just the tiniest bit more, slightly smooths out the lines of pain and suffering etched into his face.

Until you start digging with the tweezers, that is.

Then it’s all white hot screams of pain.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper beneath his cries, words drowned out by the sheer volume of the howls ripping out of his throat. But you don’t stop working, don’t withdraw the tweezers from his bloody wound. You hadn’t been joking when you told him starting meant you couldn’t stop until you finished. Abandoning the task now meant leaving James to bleed out in a matter of seconds. “I know it hurts, I’m sorry. You’re doing good, though, alright? You’re doing amazing. I’m sorry.”

It takes a moment for the tweezers’ edges to find the metal bullet lodged in his skin. At first, all you can feel is a mess of flesh and muscle, shredded and frayed from the impact of the gunshot. For a few short seconds, you wonder if your eyes hadn’t been playing tricks on you, if it would have been more wise to search for an exit wound on his back than to simply jump straight in without taking the time to stop and think.

But your worries are unfounded –– proven two seconds later when your tweezers make contact with the tiny, foreign object threatening James’ life. Carefully, you maneuver the tweezers into the correct position to properly take hold of the bullet. Then, with one last whispered apology, you slowly and carefully begin to pull.

James’ legs buck hard against the cot, arms straining at his sides where he’s got both his hands fisted into the sheets in an attempt to hold on for dear life. His teeth chatter against each other, knocking and clacking as he tries to get ahold of the screams pouring freely from him, and that thin sheen of sweat coating his skin has turned into a full on tidal wave.

But his torso doesn’t move –– not a single inch.

“We’re almost done,” you assure him, keeping your hand steady as you continue gently easing the bullet up, and up, and up. You can just make out the silver edges of it now, slick with blood and dented. It won’t be long now, before it’s out and you can start working on staunching the blood leaking from his body. Maybe you can lift his spirits with a joke or two then, a witty comment to ease some of the pain. Maybe––

The bullet slips from the tweezers, catching you off guard and jerking your hand to the left. It’s only by a centimeter, not a huge distance, but given that you’ve got edges of metal inserted into this man’s wound, to him, it makes all the difference in the world.

James throws his head back and screams, loud enough that you can instantly hear his vocal cords go raw beneath the strain of the volume. A single word leaves his lips; it sounds like Ma, only it’s warped, strangled. Much as you detest the fact, you know the sound well. A soldier crying out for his mother while under the thrall of delirium and pain isn’t exactly a rarity around these parts.

Guilt twists your heart with the razor sharpness of a cruel knife.

“Stop,” he gasps, voice hoarse. “P-please–– please stop!”

“I can’t,” you tell him, already repositioning your tweezers and going back in. Luckily, the bullet is much closer to the surface of his wound now. It only takes a second before you find another grip on it, instantly deciding to forego gentleness in favor of speed. “But the good news is––” With a slight bend of your wrist and a soft, wet pop, the bullet comes loose from his wound. “––we’re done with the shitty part.”

James’ eyes, glassy with pain and pupils blown wide, fall first to the bullet you hold up for his perusal, set against a backdrop of lowlight and your blood covered hand, before wandering their way up to your face. It’s then that you notice his irises are water blue and clear as crystal. You’re not sure why, but their color fascinates you.

“I wanna keep that,” he mutters weakly.

Then, his lashes flutter rapidly and his head lolls to the side, his lungs expelling a great, big breath before shuddering to a halt.

Your heart lurches at the sight. For one, awful moment, you think you’ve just put the poor man through all of that pain and agony only to end up somehow killing him in the process –– never mind the fact that this isn’t the first time you’ve extracted a bullet from a soldier’s abdomen, and certainly isn’t likely to be the last. But then his chest starts up moving again, at a much less worrisome pace. It’s slow, and his breaths are shallow, but they’re still breaths.

Unconscious –– not dead.

The realization is enough to make you send a mental note of thanks to whichever being was kind enough to have shown James mercy.

You allow yourself the shortest of moments to bask in the relief –– that you’d successfully extracted the bullet, that James hadn’t died during or after your attempts to do so, that you aren’t now left to set in motion the process of another condolence letter being shipped across seas to his family.

And once it passes, once you’ve inhaled and exhaled and wiped your hands on a cloth, you grab a cloth and press it to James’ wound, setting to work on stopping his bleeding –– but not before wrapping the bullet you’d just dislodged from his body in a pad of gauze and tucking it into the breast pocket of your uniform.

––

Chapter Two: Someone Good

[tchallasbabymama]

All For Us Chapter 5

Hey y’all, hope you enjoy the chapter a day early! Check out my masterlist to catch up on this story or read my other ones. And, as always, reblogs and comments are more than welcome 🥰

Word Count: 5,471

CW: Mention of self-harm

Erik fidgeted in his chair as he waited for his family to walk through the door. He had seen each of them individually at least once, Shuri being the only one who never came back, but something about seeing them all together had him on edge. His right leg couldn’t stop bouncing, and he tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair impatiently. 

“Don’t worry, the Udakus are never on time,” Naomi reassured him as he looked to the clock for the second time in the last minute. Their appointment started five minutes ago.

“They run on CP time, huh?” he joked, trying to distract himself from his nerves. 

“CP time?”

“Colored people time...the name’s dated as hell, but basically Black people ain’t ever on time.”

“That is true of Wakanda as well,” she laughed. “Time is more of a suggestion here.”

“I can fuck with it,” he chuckled but was cut short by the thumping in his chest as the door opened, and T’Challa walked in, holding the door for the rest of the family.

“Your highnesses,” Naomi saluted them. “Please, come in and make yourselves comfortable.”

Naomi had arranged the chairs in her office so that the six of them sat in a circle. Mira sat between Erik and Ramonda, and Shuri chose the seat closest to Naomi. T’Challa sat between his mother and sister and threw a smile Erik’s way.

“Thank you all for coming here today. It is imperative that Erik has a healthy support system when he leaves here, and I just wanted to make sure we are all on the same page. I know you have each met with him individually, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to get it all out there and move forward as a unit. Now, I know we all want what’s best for Erik-”

Shuri scoffed, and Naomi turned to her.

“Princess, I heard you still have some reservations about him. Why?”

“He killed my brother,” she seethed.

“Shuri, I am right here,” T’Challa said, exasperated at her unwillingness to see past her anger.

“By the grace of Bast!”

“Shuri,” Ramonda chided.

“Queen Mother, if you don’t mind, I think this is a conversation that needs to happen between these two.”

Ramonda nodded and gestured for Shuri to continue.

“You’re only here because Nakia snatched a heart-shaped herb before he burnt the rest of them to the ground. It’s taken this long for them to even start growing again. All he does is destroy, and I don’t want him here. It’s bad enough you made me heal him, but now I have to look at him every day and pretend to like him, too?”

“You don’t have to like him, Shuri, but he is family-”

“That didn’t mean anything when he threw you over the falls or when he almost killed me, so why should it matter now?”

“Because I’m not that same person anymore,” Erik jumped in.

“Oh, sure. You’re just magically better all of a sudden,” she rolled her eyes and turned back to her brother. “How am I supposed to sleep at night knowing he’s in the palace?”

“Princess Shuri, Erik has been working very hard to overcome his anger and his past traumas. So much so that I see no need to extend his stay past what we originally agreed on.”

“Wait, really?” Erik’s face brightened, and he turned in his seat to look at Naomi.

“Yes. You have shown remarkable improvement, Erik.”

“You mean he can come home soon?” Queen Mother asked, prompting Erik and Shuri to feel very different ways about her use of the word “home.” Erik missed having one, and Shuri hated having him in hers.

“Yes, ma’am, he’ll be out of here in two weeks.”

Mira couldn’t contain her smile as she reached for his hand. They locked eyes, and yet again, the look in his eyes needed no words. They were glassy as they swelled with tears, and a couple fell while Naomi handed him the tissue box.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Ramonda asked.

“My bad,” he sniffled as he dried his tears. “I just really want to see Cupcake.”

“She wants to see you, too. I told her you were sick and had to get better before she could, but she’s been asking me about you damn near every second.”

“And me, as well. She is excited to meet you, cousin,” T’Challa chimed in. “‘Do you think daddy will like this?’, ‘When is he coming home?’, ‘Is daddy still sick?’, ‘Can you tell daddy I love him?’”

“Or my personal favorite, ‘Can we bring some to daddy?’ after dinner last night,” Ramonda added.

“She’s still a daddy’s girl, through and through,” Mira said with a sarcastic eye-roll, making Naomi chuckle.

“Yes, mine is the same way. It is quite frustrating,” she joked. “Now, I think it would be beneficial for us to go around the room and get it all out on the table. Princess Shuri already went, unless you have more to say…”

“No.”

“Ok, then King T’Challa, how about you go next?”

He nodded and looked to his cousin.

“I do not think I have said this to you yet, but I am genuinely sorry, Erik-”

“Stop, you didn’t do anything.”

“I know, but I needed to say it. I am also sorry I disobeyed your wishes; that was something I should not have done.”

“I’ll say,” Shuri mumbled under her breath.

“But I am glad that I did. Otherwise, we would not get to see this other side of you.”

“Thanks, man. I was in a bad place, obviously, and, uh...I don’t know, I just felt like a failure...I felt like I had nothing to live for anymore...my pride was hurt.”

Mira slowly pulled her hand back and placed it in her lap, and Erik could feel the tension brewing beneath the surface.

“Anything else, my king?”

“Just that I hope we can move past all of this and build a relationship. You are my cousin, and I am determined to love you whether you want me to or not.”

Erik and Mira both smirked at the king. They were thankful for the kindhearted man and his insistence on cleaning up the bad blood in his family. 

“Queen Mother, do you have anything you would like to share?”

“Yes, actually,” she reached into her bag and pulled out something that had been gift-wrapped. She handed it to Erik, and he looked at her in confusion. “Go ahead, open it.”

Everyone looked on with intrigue as he ripped at the paper, revealing a gold picture frame. Erik flipped the frame over and a lump formed in his throat.

“This is from a gala for the Pan African Council in 1991. It was one of the two times I met him.”

Drops of water splashed on the picture of N’Jobu, and Erik looked up for a leak in the ceiling before he realized the tears were flowing from his eyes. He grabbed another tissue and passed the box around when he realized the others were getting misty-eyed as well. Even Shuri. 

“I, uh...I don’t know what to say...thank you, Auntie,” he croaked as he got up and pulled her into a hug. Mira took the opportunity to take a look at the picture. They had the same look in their eyes, but feature-wise, Erik had to have taken after his mother. There was no doubt about it though, those deep brown puppy dog Udaku eyes were front and center.

Erik sat down, and she handed the photo back to him.

“May I see?” T’Challa asked, and Erik passed it to him, watching as Shuri took a look over his shoulder to see it too. Her face softened a little more, and Erik could swear she saw a hint of sadness there. He passed it back, and Erik simply stared at the photo, fingers lightly caressing the fame.

“Alright, lastly, we have Mira. Anything to add?”

“Not really,” she shook her head.

“Well, then may I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Earlier, you seemed upset when Erik mentioned not having anything to live for. Care to expand on that?”

“Not really.”

“Mira...you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it, Erik? You said you have nothing to live for, yet your daughter and I were sitting at home waiting for you.”

“I wasn’t in my right mind, Mira. All that mattered was the mission. I lost myself to it. Actually, I lost myself a long time ago, but at the time, nothing could’ve pulled me back...not even you or Imani.”

“What if it happens again. Not for this, but for something else? What if you start working again and go back to your old ways? What then?”

“I won’t.”

“How am I supposed to trust that, Erik?”

“Mira, I’d like to jump in if you don’t mind.”

Mira shook her head and gestured for Naomi to continue.

“I understand your hesitance, but I assure you, I have the utmost faith that Erik has changed. His behaviors were tied to his trauma, and we have been able to work through his feelings of grief, anger, guilt, and self-loathing.”

“Self-loathing?” Queen Mother asked.

“Erik, would you care to…”

“Yeah, sure,” he cleared his throat. “I, uh, sort of hated myself for a long time. Everybody I loved died, and I had some sort of...what did you call it?”

“Survivor’s remorse.”

“Yeah, survivor’s remorse. I felt guilty for not dying.”

Mira looked up at him and her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to keep the tears at bay.

“Then I felt guilty for all the shit I did to survive, and how violent I became...then the self-hate kicked in when I realized how good I was at it.” His fingers ran over the scars on his forearm, and he took a deep breath. “These aren’t trophies. They’re my sins.”

The room fell silent.

“How many?” Shuri asked tentatively.

“You don’t wanna know.”

“I do,” Mira chimed in. “I’ve tried counting them, but you’re such a light sleeper it’s impossible. I can guess though...I got to five hundred once before you woke up one morning.”

“I don’t want you to look at me differently-”

“Erik, you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to, but nobody here will look at you any differently if you do. Right?”

Everyone agreed, even Shuri. 

Erik took a deep breath and hung his head before speaking, “Three thousand and nine scars...three thousand and nine people are dead because of me.”

“You’re not that person anymore, Erik,” Naomi reminded him.

“Yeah, but what if I am?”

“You’re not,” Mira reached for his hand again.

“How do you know?”

“Cousin, I can guarantee you that even in the short time we have known each other, you have changed.”

“Erik, you should trust yourself more. You’ve been given the tools you need; you just have to use them.”

He nodded slowly, taking in Naomi’s wise words.

“It also helps if you’re surrounded by people who love and support you.” She turned to Shuri, “Princess, let us work through your feelings.”

“I already said what I needed to say. I don’t trust him...but I’m not saying it’ll be like that forever. Just for now, I still don’t.”

“And why is that?”

“Have you ever had someone try to kill you?”

“No, I can’t say that I have.”

“You never forget the look in their eyes.”

“I understand you, sister. It is not an easy thing to get past...however, it is possible. Look at him now. Do you see those same eyes?”

Erik looked at Shuri, and her stone face softened a little but still stayed pretty wooden.

“No.”

“Look, I get it...I’m your T’Chaka, but I don’t wanna be that person anymore. Not to Mira, not to Imani, not to y’all-”

“Don’t forget yourself. You’re doing this for you, too,” Mira chimed in, and Erik nodded.

“We are still working on self-love, but I feel that the next two weeks will be fruitful,” Naomi said, closing her notebook. “Is there anything else you all need to get off your chests?”

“I have one more thing,” Mira said as she sat up in her chair and turned her body to face Erik.

“I never told you what happened after you left,” she said, trying to keep it together. “I, um...I got depressed again, like when Imani was born. It wasn’t pretty, but I made sure she was good. I couldn’t eat. All I wanted to do was sleep. It got so bad I had to quit my job and go live with Stefan and Havana. I know that’s what you suggested in the first place, but I thought I could handle it on my own. I’m basically a stay-at-home mom now; I take care of the kids while Stef and Ana are at work...cooking and cleaning, and all that jazz. I never thought I would like that life, but it’s nice, and it’s a good way to repay them for letting us stay there. You wouldn’t believe how big SJ is now, and they have a new baby Daveed...things are different now, but it’s nice.”

“Have you...are you seeing anybody?”

“No, but I tried dating...didn’t work out.”

Erik tried and failed to hide the smirk on his face.

“I can’t say I’m sorry about that, but I am sorry about what I put you through, Mira. I shouldn’t have left you two.”

“I know you know that now; I just wish you knew it then.”

He pulled her hand to his lips for a kiss, and she let him.

“Are we still separated?”

Both Ramonda and T’Challa’s eyebrows raised. Neither of them was aware that the two had been having marital problems. T’Challa never even thought to ask.

“Erik, I need to tell you something…”

His breath hitched in his throat.

“I’m not saying it’s what I want now...but I was going to serve you with divorce papers. I had them drawn up and everything. They just needed your signature, but I couldn’t bring myself to give them to you. I was going to give them to you when you came back...if you came back.”

“And now?”

“Now...I don’t know, Erik. I think I have to get to know this new you to decide.”

“That’s fair.” He said to the ground before lifting his head and looking Mira in her eyes. “I’m gonna make you want to marry me all over again, though. Watch.”

--------

“If you don’t sit still, you’re going just like this,” Mira fussed as she tried to braid Imani’s hair. 

“No, I’ll stop!” Imani tried her best not to move, but the pillow she was sitting on was starting to get uncomfortable, and she was getting antsy. Every second that passed brought her one step closer to meeting her daddy, and she couldn’t wait. All she had to do was get through the school day. 

Mira smirked and tilted Imani’s head to the side to start on the last braid right as Shuri walked into the living room and plopped in the chair across from them. 

“Rough night?”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

Over the past two weeks, Shuri had been slowly opening up to the idea of Erik living in the palace, but when she closed her eyes at night, she just kept seeing him lurking over her bed, ready to strike. 

“Something on your mind?” Mira asked through gritted teeth that held a tiny black rubber band.

“No, just...apprehensive.”

“About Erik?” Mira mouthed to her so Imani couldn’t hear. Shuri nodded and sunk deeper into the chair with a sigh. Mira finished up Imani’s last braid and put a couple of beads on the end before kissing the top of her head. “Ok, you’re done. Can you go get dressed?”

“Ok, mommy!” Imani took off, but before Mira could tell her to slow down, T’Challa came around the corner and scooped her up, planting a kiss on her cheek. Imani’s giggles erupted throughout the expansive living area and forced Shuri to crack a smile.

“Why are you running in my palace?” he playfully chastised her.

“I’m happy I get to meet my daddy. If I put my school clothes on fast, it’ll happen faster!”

“Well, let’s make it even faster then!” T’Challa took off with her down the hall, leaving Shuri and Mira in the living room laughing at his shenanigans.

“When is he gonna have one of his own?”

Shuri’s eyes rolled all the way to the back of her head. “As soon as he stops chasing after a woman who wants to live on the other side of the planet.”

“Nakia still giving him the runaround?”

“Girl, you don’t know the half of it,” Shuri complained. “Maybe you or Erik can talk some sense into him.”

“Maybe...you seem to be warming up to the idea of him lately. How are you feeling?”

Shuri sighed and sat forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her thighs. “I won’t lie and say I’m thrilled, but I understand him better now, and I trust my brother’s judgment. And mama’s. And yours...I want him to be in Imani’s life, but it is just hard to forget his face in that moment, you know?”

Mira nodded, “I don’t, but I do.”

“Maybe seeing him in a new light with you and Imani will help,” Shuri shrugged.

“I hope so.”

“Me, too.” 

Just then, T’Challa re-entered the room, “The princess is having trouble deciding which outfit to wear.”

“That’s my queue,” Mira got up from the couch and washed off her greasy hands before strolling down the hallway to help out her little fashionista. She and T’Challa had already laid out three outfit choices, so it just came down to which one she thought her daddy would like best.

“I want to look nice to meet him, but I don’t know which one looks better.”

“Can I give a suggestion?”

“Mhm,” Imani nodded with her brows creased as she thought really hard over which outfit to pick.

“How about the gold sandals from Lala with this two-piece? Yellow looks good on you, and the sandals match your backpack. You’ll look like a little ray of sunshine.”

“Hmmm...Ok!”

“Glad I could help,” Mira chuckled.

“I’ll wear my yellow outfit if you wear your blue one just like it.”

“It’s a deal,” Mira threw over her shoulder as she left the room to go change. When she entered the living room, her cousins and Auntie all smiled at the two of them. Imani’s yellow Ankara print tube top and harem pants matched perfectly with Mira’s blue ones. The only difference was Mira had on some crisp white sneakers and big gold Fulani earrings. 

Mira walked Imani to school the same way she did every day, but this time her head was in the clouds. Even Imani was quiet on the way, the butterflies in both of their stomachs working overtime. When they reached the classroom, Imani turned to her mom, looking at her face that surprised Mira.

“What’s wrong, baby?” She crouched down to her level.

“What if daddy doesn’t like me?” she poked her lip out, and Mira knew she had to act fast before it started quivering, and the tears started falling.

“Like you? He loves you more than anything in this world!” she said excitedly while tickling Imani’s ribs and making her laugh. “He loves you just as much as I do, baby girl.”

“He does?”

“Of course, you’re his Cupcake.”

“Cupcake?”

“Mhm, that’s what he used to call you because you’re so sweet.” Mira pretended to gobble up Imani’s fingers, making her giggles chase away any doubts she had about her father. “Now, you  ready for school?”

“Yes, ma’am,” she said excitedly.

“Alright, I’ll see you at 2. Be good.” Mira kissed Imani’s cheek and stood back up to her full height.

“I will, mommy. Sala kakuhle!” she waved goodbye and ran to go play with her friends while Mira sent the teacher a smile before heading back to the palace. 

When Mira was nervous, she liked to busy her hands with something, so she took some time to anxiously clean and organize her already clean quarters. She would have to sit in on another council meeting shortly, and although she wasn’t looking forward to having all that attention on her again, she was determined to go in there with her head held high.

Just as she started scrubbing the sink, her alarm went off telling her it was time for the meeting. She washed her hands and squeezed lemon juice on them to get rid of the bleach smell before leaving her quarters and traveling to the business side of the palace. When Mira entered the throne room, she slid into the empty seat between Ramonda and Shuri just as T’Challa started speaking.

“As you all know, Erik will be discharged from Ithemba Center today at noon, and we have the press conference scheduled at five. He has already been briefed on it, and while he is still apprehensive about addressing the nation, I have worked with him over the last week and it seems as though he will be fine. Any questions regarding the press conference?” The council members shook their heads and T’Challa continued, “Now, I have spoken to each of you about his community service, and have finally decided on the order. I would like him to start with the Jabari as a member of their fire and rescue team, then transfer to mining vibranium before moving to border patrols. Then he will work at the River tribe’s animal sanctuary, and he’ll end his service by working as janitorial staff in the market. The order is subject to change if necessary.”

“My king, are we sure we can trust him in the Mining and Border provinces?” Tendayi, the River tribe elder spoke out, making Dama and W’Dani nod along.

“Yes, I have faith in him. Any other questions?”

Mira tentatively raised her hand, not sure if she was allowed to talk or not. T’Challa nodded her way, and she cleared her throat before speaking, “I was wondering if we could move with him? He’s been away from Imani so long and once he comes back, I don’t want to disrupt her life any more than it’s already been disrupted.”

“That is understandable. Housing for the three of you will be provided in each province.”

“Thank you,” she turned to the elders, “and I don’t want to be a freeloader, so if there’s anywhere I can help out just let me know.”

“Mira, of course you and Imani are welcome to stay with us, but if you really want something to do we can find a job for you, too.” Ife stated as the other council members nodded along in agreement. 

“I’d like that. I need something to do,” she chuckled. “Thank you.”

“We will work something out,” Dama winked her way.

“We will miss the two of you around the palace, but I think that is a great idea. You will be provided with transportation to get Imani to school.”

“Thank you,” Mira smiled.

“You are welcome. Now, is there anything else?” T’Challa was met with silence as he checked the time on his beads and looked back at Mira. “Good, it is about time we go bring him home.”

Mira’s heart thumped in her chest as she nodded.

“Meeting adjourned.”

The council members filed out of the room, sending well-wishes to Mira as they went. 

--------

Erik happily signed his discharge paperwork, but his internal celebration was cut short by a knock at his door. He half expected it to be Mira, but he looked up and saw Naomi in his doorway. 

“How are you feeling today?”

“Excited and nervous.”

“I bet,” she chuckled. “Remember what we talked about, and you will be fine.”

Erik nodded and took a deep breath.

“Ready to go? I will walk you out.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Erik took a deep breath and they walked through the facility in silence before they reached the lobby. There stood T’Challa and Mira with huge smiles on their faces that infected Erik as soon as he saw them. Mira pulled him into a hug and held him tight as she rocked him from side to side.

“I’m so proud of you, Erik.”

“As am I, cousin.”

Mira let Erik go and he dapped T’Challa up, pulling him into a hug next.

“Thanks. Both of you...I couldn’t have done all this without you.”

Mira wiped a stray tear from her eye and looped her arm around his. “Let’s go home.”

“Home, huh? I like the sound of that,” he mused.

The three of them made their way back to the palace where they were greeted by a tearful Ramonda and a still apprehensive Shuri. She sent him a small smile, though, and that was enough for him. The family sat around the kitchen table talking and laughing as if it had always been that way, and Erik found their familiarity to be a comfort he hadn’t felt in a long time. Ramonda constantly pushed food in Erik’s direction, and even though he had a late breakfast he just couldn’t say no. He stuffed his face full of eggah and freshly squeezed mango juice until he had his fill and sat back in his chair with his hands resting on his full stomach.

“I’m ready for a nap. Where am I staying?”

“This week you will be in the palace, as well as during your time working for the Merchant tribe-”

“You’re gonna hate it…” Mira sang under her breath with a wry laugh, making T’Challa smirk.

“But, other than that, you will be staying with the various tribes during your volunteer time.”

“What exactly am I supposed to be doing?” he sent a suspicious look Mira’s way.

“We can discuss that later. For now, let us get you settled in.”

Erik nodded and followed behind Mira and T’Challa as they walked through the winding palace hallways. They took him to his living quarters, and he was pleasantly surprised to see that he would still be living with Mira and Imani.

“I didn’t know if you’d want me with you or not.”

“Oh, you’re sleeping in the guest room...but I wanted you close for Imani.”

“Fair enough,” Erik nodded and walked around the space, checking it out.

“I will leave you two alone to get settled in,” T’Challa turned and left the space.

Mira looked at her beads. “You might want to go ahead and get ready, we’ll be leaving in thirty minutes.

“Leaving?”

“Mhm, we have to pick up Imani from school.”

“W-we do?”

“Yeah...are you ok?”

“Nah. What if she doesn’t like me?”

Mira bursted out laughing and caught him off-guard. “She asked me the same thing this morning.”

Erik just smiled and shook his head. He had nothing to worry about.

“Just like her daddy, huh?”

“Just like him,” she smiled back.

“I guess I should get ready, then. I want to make a good first impression.”

“Erik, you’ll be fine…I promise. She already loves you.”

He stood and kissed her forehead before turning and walking towards the bathroom, pulling his shirt over his head. Mira tried to avert her eyes, but his rippling back muscles called to her. Her face felt hot, and she bolted out of the room, hoping he didn’t notice how flustered he made her.

He did.

A little while later, Erik emerged from the bathroom very well moisturized and followed by a cloud of steam. He stood there for a few minutes in his towel, staring at the clothes in his huge closet, not knowing what to put on his body.

“Mira!” he called to her in the other room. She playfully rolled her eyes and headed his way, already knowing what he wanted. Like father, like daughter.

“You rang?” she stood in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, trying like hell to keep her eyes above his collarbone. 

“I don’t know what to wear.”

“Wakandan or American?”

“Uh, American, I guess.”

“Do you want to match Imani?”

His face lit up, and she took it for a yes, pulling out a pastel yellow t-shirt and a pair of jeans with matching sneakers. 

“This outfit with gold accessories.”

“Thanks,” he grinned at her, and Mira tried not to get lost in his dimples. She was failing miserably, so she left him to his own devices. She missed the satisfied smirk on his face.

--------

Erik could feel the eyes on him as he walked through the city with Mira and T’Challa. Some were cold, but most were simply confused by his presence. 

“Ignore them,” Mira whispered up to him, and he nodded, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t going to let anything ruin this moment. 

They arrived at the elementary school and Mira went in to get Imani while the two men waited outside. As soon as Imani saw her mother, she jumped down and ran over to her.

“Hey baby girl, how was your day?”

“Good! I made a new friend,” she said proudly.

“You did? I’ll have to meet them sometime soon. Right now we have to go see daddy,” Mira’s eyes flashed with mischief and Imani’s joy radiated throughout the room. “Ready?”

Imani was so happy she could barely speak, so she just nodded her head. Mira waved goodbye to the teacher, and the two of them traveled back down the hallway hand in hand.

Erik’s fingers tapped his thigh in rapid succession and he chewed on his bottom lip.

“I can hear you overthinking, cousin.”

Erik started pacing back and forth and was about to open his mouth to say something when the doors to the school swished open. T’Challa held his hand up and started recording with his beads.

“Daddy!” Imani saw Erik and dropped her backpack as she ran to him. For a moment, he was frozen in time, but as she got closer he snapped out of it and crouched down for her to run into his arms.

“Hey, Cupcake,” his voice cracked as he held her tight. Her little arms wrapped around his neck like she never wanted to let him go, and he couldn’t help the tears that streamed from his eyes. Mira and T’Challa tried their best to hold it together, but neither could blink the tears away.

“What’s wrong?” Imani heard him sniffle and pulled back to look at his face.

“Nothing, baby, I’m just happy to see you.” He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer to Bast to thank her for letting him live another day to see his daughter once more.

The four of them walked back to the palace with Imani talking Erik’s ear off the whole way as he carried her on his hip. The first thing she did when they got there was to show him her dolls, all of which were fully decked out in the most beautiful doll-sized finery T’Challa could get his hands on. Erik took in the sparkly purple walls and the finger paints by an easel in the corner of the room. Her canopy bed was the main attraction, though, and made her feel the princess she was.

“Damn, T did all this?” Erik asked as Mira entered the room behind him.

“Yep,” she laughed. “He’d do anything for that little girl.”

“Remind me to thank him later…” he trailed off as his eyes caught sight of an enormous, stuffed jaguar by the window seat. A goofy smile took over his face, and Mira couldn’t help but swoon. Over the past few weeks of her getting to see Erik at Ithemba, she could tell his spirit was lighter. However, it wasn’t until the three of them were sitting in Imani’s room playing with her dolls that she thought Erik actually looked happy. And not just happy, but happier than she had ever seen him. His smiles actually reached his eyes for the first time since before he left for Wakanda, and she loved to watch the two of them interact with each other. Erik was a gentle giant when it came to his baby girl, and all his fierceness flew out the window when Imani started popping butterfly clips in his locs. 

Erik noticed Mira was lost in her thoughts, so he reached over and grabbed her hand. He squeezed it and looked into her eyes, once again conveying his soul with a single look. 

He was home for good this time. Next Chapter

Taglist: @ladymac82​, @kitesatforestp​, @harleycativy​, @raysunshine78​, @maddeningmayhem​, @theblulife​, @motheroffae​, @love-mesome-me​, @toni9​

[moontheoretist]

What If...? started so many cool side stories and then closed them with "you were chosen" montage. Like... we didn't even SEE how Shuri and Pepper got to the point where they are shown storming the Wakandan Palace to attack Erick! THAT IS SO DISAPPOINTING!

Not to mention that Erik the liar and murderer was chosen, but Tony was not. I don't mind Gamora being chosen, but I RESENT the idea that Tony's first idea after defeating Thanos in that universe was to create a suit of armor around the Galaxy, because of the possible next big bad. I dunno what happened in that universe, but Tony only wanted to do that under extreme duress due to Wanda trigerring his PTSD in the original timeline. He once had a project like Ultron but scrapped it and only came back to it after he was triggered and was in no shape to make that decision. Not to mention that Ultron was always in the Sceptre, just saying, but MCU and What If...? both are too scared to pursue a sentient rock hypothesis, because Mind Stone HAVING A BRAIN is not important apparently!

I am just angry, because that one scene treats Tony as if his paranoia was a default, while in fact the person who has paranoia in the MCU is actually Happy fucking Hogan.

Tony is paranoid ONCE and FOR A GOOD REASON, but also because of being trigerred by an outside force. Wanda's illusions are INCREDIBLY real. To the point that Thor was sure it was a vision of the future. HELL, even Tony was sure it was a vision of the future, despite Nick Fury telling him to his face that it was just Wanda messing with him. He was SO SURE that this thing he saw is the future, his legacy if he doesn't do something to stop it, because he has a very large and crippling fear of not being enough. For some people, him failing to save the Avengers in that scene says "arrogant", but in truth it is a picture of his insecurities.

By the way, what even was that universe with Tony and Gamora?

1. Captain Carter 2. T'Challa 3. Wasn't this episode about SHIELD killing Tony, ah wait, HANK PYM, killing the Avengers (I still think, SHIELD accidentally killing Tony would be a cooler universe lol simply because we would then see all the batshit awful things they did “for the greater good”, but nooo, SHIELD good, SHIELD not bad bleh) 4. Dr Strange 5. Zombie Apocalypse 6. Killmonger 7. Thor 8. Ultron

WHICH universe is GAMORA from? WHY IT DIDN'T HAVE AN EPISODE?! Because WHAT? Because TONY doesn't die in that one? That's why you ripped Gamora off of her glorious moment of fucking up Thanos? REALLY, DISNEY? REALLY? HOW. DARE. YOU.

But you know what pisses me off the most? THIS WHOLE LAST EPISODE was some weird ODE to Peggy x Natasha and then at the end they hinted Steve somehow got to the future and Peggy can get together with him or smth! MY GAY LOVE RUINED, DISNEY!

AGAIN!

BONUS:

Guardian's of the Galaxy was already corny, but Guardians of the Multiverse is cornier... someone needs to work on naming shit, because Uatu is definitely not good at it.

BTW Does the Infinity Crusher destroy the stones or does what Thanos did with them in the Infinity War, meaning he "destroyed them" into tiny particles, so nobody can use them?

BTW BTW I don't believe that Dr Strange threw Zombie Rain at Ultron and one of the was Wanda. Fateful meeting of the lovers and all that.