#just because no one probably would have known otherwise lol

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

Merry Christmas, baby.

Pairing: Marcus Pike x f!reader Rating: just a little tiny bit of smut so still +18 but it’s mostly a huge pile of angst and fluff soooo Words Count: 10669 😵‍💫 Tags: POV second person, reader wears dresses, skirts, blouses and heels, she uses make up, she’s a journalist and a writer, no physical description of her is given besides having hair, angst, fluff, friends to lovers, slow burn, loss of a parent, infidelity, divorce, mention of food, alcohol consumption, both reader and Pike are bad at feelings, swearing, slurs, dirty talk, quarrels, reconciliations, funeral, sharing a bed, kissing, sad thoughts, casual encounters, mention of coffee, mention of spring break activities, geography probably a bit random (but I looked at the maps, don't jump down my throat, I did research and I've actually been to Boston many years ago, I tried my best lol), brief mention of Teresa. I hope I haven't forgotten anything, if so I'll add it immediately. A/N: Written for @pedrostories Secret Santa event, hello @letsgobarbs, I’m your Secret Santa! 🤶 Happy Christmas Eve, I hope you'll have a wonderful holiday season! 🎄 I hope you enjoy this story and I hope you find the angst, yearning and pining you wanted. Among the characters you had indicated as favorites there was Pike and I liked the idea of ​​trying to write him for the first time, he is so sweet and cute and he deserves to be happy, I hope I gave him an ending worthy of him 🥹 I apologize if you find any mistakes, English is not my first language and I don't have a beta so I did it all with just one pair of stupid and tired eyes 😵‍💫

A huge thanks goes to all the lovely people who supported me through the process while I was having a full crisis about everything in this fic 😂 @baronessvonglitter @almostempty @arcanefox207 @joelmillerisapunk I love you all, happy holidays 🥰

1990

“So what do you think?” 

“Um...you're good” You've just heard the ugliest Take on Me cover ever, but you can't tell the guy standing in front of you and looking at you with hopeful eyes. 

Marcus is your best friend, you've known him for a couple of years, since both of you were two dorky freshmen at your new school. You were looking for the literature room and wandering lost in the hallways when Marcus asked if you needed help. You bonded right away because you didn't know anyone else, you had just moved to Sacramento because of your father's job and he was from Texas, so it had seemed natural to lean on each other.

Over time you had become such good friends that he had met your parents, he would often stay for dinner, and your dad would let him use your garage to rehearse with his band. 

Marcus had put up flyers at school and enlisted two other boys, Timmy and Dave, who became the guitarist and keyboardist of Rocket Baby Doll. The name of the band was terrible, they were terrible, but you had never had the courage to tear them down in the face of Marcus's enthusiasm, he was sure that by continuing to rehearse they would make great progress. 

With his smooth talk, Marcus had managed to convince the committee to let them play at the freshmen's Christmas dance.

“You'll see that one day we'll be on the cover of Rolling Stone,” Marcus joked. Or at least you hoped he was joking because otherwise you wouldn't know how to talk him out of it. 

Marcus was a dreamer and he liked to do it big. He wanted to be a musician, or maybe an FBI agent, he told you. Two careers that had nothing to do with each other, but you knew that if anyone could afford to have ambitions it was him. Marcus was tenacious, persistent, dedicated, and never afraid to work hard to get what he wanted.  He certainly wasn't going to end up on the cover of Rolling Stone, but in your heart you were certain he was going to accomplish something important.

He was the kind of boy mothers liked, in fact yours loved him. When you needed math tutoring, he would come to your house totally for free and explain whatever you didn’t understand.

When Molly Preston wanted to exclude you from the winter dance because her ex-boyfriend, Ryder, had asked you out, he had been the one to give her a speech.

When you had a bad day Marcus would take you to get your favorite ice cream, you would talk for hours, and in the end he was the only one who could cheer you up.

Whatever problems you had, Marcus was there for you landing an helping hand. 

You knew your mother not too secretly hoped you would get together but it never happened, Marcus was your friend, just a great friend.

“Come on, my mom made cookies for everyone,” you told him as he continued to fantasize about what you might do. You would be their manager and you would both become rich and famous. He just couldn't keep his feet on the ground, even though he was a very good student and even had better grades than you.

You were 17 years old, your whole lives ahead of you, and you hoped that you will remain friends for many years to come.

_____________________________________________

1993

“What do you mean there is only one room available! We had booked two!” 

Marcus had yelled at the front desk of a motel where you stopped for the night. 

The owner, a rather creepy guy with a long scar on his right cheek, slumps in his shoulders, heedless “If you want number 12 is free, otherwise you can take your asses somewhere else for all I care.”

Marcus was fuming. 

It was spring break, any hotel was totally booked, and the possibilities were already significantly reduced given your pockets. 

You didn't even want to come; you had just broken up with Derek, your college boyfriend, and were back at your parents' house with the intention of spending your vacation there healing your wounds. Vegetating on the couch, reading books, watching movies, just relaxing. That was what you wanted to do. But Marcus had insisted, “Erik, Alice, Kate and Robert are in San Diego, let's join them!” 

You had shaken your head and declined “No way, I've seen enough wild college parties and besides, I'm not really in the mood.” 

“Oh come on, you don't want to spend Spring Break crying over that jerk,” he had said, shrugging and looking at you with his big brown puppy-dog eyes. 

“Marcus, I really don't feel like it.” 

“Come on, please do it for me! You'll see we'll have fun, they're nice!” Surrounding yourself with drunk and stoned 20-year-olds was the least of your desires. 

But on the other hand you felt you couldn't say no to him, it had been months since you had seen each other, your relationships had been reduced to long letters and phone calls telling each other about each other's schools.

You had chosen different colleges, Marcus had been accepted at Berkeley in California and you were at Boston University. You had changed coast, climate, everything. You were content but adjusting the first months had not been easy, you felt homesick and you missed your best friend. You were happy for him, you had known since your senior year that you were going to separate but that hadn't made it easy for you. 

You had only seen each other in person at Thanksgiving.

He had been forced to go to his relatives in Nevada for Christmas.

So you got dragged down to San Diego, because deep down Marcus was right, brooding all vacation about the relationship with Derek would not be good for you. You had had other guys before him but Derek had been special, until you found out he was cheating on you. You cried for hours on the phone with Marcus and he listened to you the whole time so maybe you owed him a little too.

After insisting on getting at least a room refund, Marcus had turned to you displeased “apparently we have no other choice.” 

“We'll adjust” you had smiled, but you couldn't deny that you were a little nervous. 

Once in the room he, too, seemed self-conscious. 

There was a double bed with a hideous floral bedspread in the middle of the room, brownish carpeting on the floor, dingy pictures hanging on the walls, and an old dresser on the opposite side of the bed with a rickety TV on it.

A smell of cheap deodorant with a musty undertone wafted around. It was the worst room I had ever set foot in, but at this point there was nothing you could do but make it okay. Sleeping in the car didn't seem so appealing.

You had set your bags down and looked at each other awkwardly “This room is awful,” Marcus had whispered, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand “I'm sorry, it didn't look that bad from the brochure.” 

“It's not your fault, I bet those pictures were taken at least 20 years ago” you had laughed ”it will do for one night” 

You had retrieved your pajamas from the suitcase and went to the bathroom. The light blue tiles made it look like a hospital, there was an old plastic curtain in the shower and the sink looked like it had been through a war but at least it looked clean. There was a strong smell of disinfectant that made you a little nauseous. You had changed quickly and returned to your room to Marcus who was sitting on the bed intent on calling his parents “Yes mom, everything is fine, we will be back tomorrow. Yes, sure, don't worry I'll definitely say hello to her, she's in her room now” You had noticed that he had not said anything about your misadventure, you had sat down smiling on the opposite side of the bed trying to be silent. 

Marcus had rolled his eyes closing the call “she is so old-fashioned.” 

You had laughed “I find her lovely” 

Marcus had chuckled “we'd better sleep, we have a lot of driving tomorrow. Are you okay with that side?”

“Yes, it’s fine” you had nodded ”however I'd rather get this bedspread out of the way, it gives me nightmares even when awake” 

Marcus had observed it agreeing that yes, it was rather eerie.

You had taken it off and laid it on the dresser before slipping under cold, scratchy and wrinkled sheets.

You looked at each other and burst out laughing, the situation was comical to say the least. “God, I think I won't forget this bed for a long time,” Marcus had said. 

“It feels like being in a burlap sack.” You had laughed.

“Could you not squirm like that?” 

“Sorry, I'm just looking for ways to be comfortable,” you had said, ”Mattress is lumpy.” 

You had laid on your side with your back to him and closed your eyes, trying to sleep. 

“So, did you have a good time?” you had heard Marcus whisper.

“Yes” you had replied “thank you” And it was true, his friends were really nice. You had bonded with the girls and exchanged addresses and phone numbers “you were right, I needed a vacation”

“I know, I'm always right” he had sentenced from the other end of the bed.  

You had turned to look at him "oh sure, like the other night when we ended up at that beach party and you said it was allowed and then we had to run away because the police were coming?”

“It was just a little misjudgment!” He retorted.

You had burst out laughing again “come on, sleep, Mr I know everything”

Marcus had turned off the lamp on the bedside table, next to the phone with which he had just called his mother “Hey...I need to tell you something” you had heard him say. 

“What?” the tone had suddenly changed and you felt confused, you looked over your shoulder at him in the dark. 

“I kissed Alice the other night” he seemed awkward in telling you and you didn't understand why.

“Oh. Well, good for you. She's a lovely girl” he was your friend, you were happy for him. 

If it weren't for the fact that you secretly hoped he would kiss you. You'd been thinking about it for a few days, ever since you'd seen him come out of the water while you were at the beach.

It had seemed to you that everything had started moving in slow motion, your eyes glued to his tanned skin, to his broad shoulders, to the way the water slid over his chest in little droplets that died on the waistband of his swimsuit. It was a feeling you had never experienced before in five years of knowing him. You had never seen Marcus as anything more than a friend, but in that moment, with his hair disheveled, his skin wet, a smile plastered on his face as he told you and the others that ocean was great, he had seemed like a vision, and you had felt your cheeks heat up. 

Where on earth that attraction came from you didn't know, but it had hit you hard and clear, like a bump on the head that had suddenly awakened you. You had convinced yourself that your brain was doing this to protect you from painful memories with Derek, lingering on your closest friend who had never let you down. Your trust in men was at its lowest, and Marcus had always reassured you, kept you out of trouble, and he was most reliable guy you had ever known.

He said he would do something and he always, unfailingly did it. You could not say the same about Derek or any other guy you had ever been with.

You had tried to chase that feeling away, burying it in the corner of your mind for all the following days; you didn't want to ruin the friendship between you, and you were pretty sure he didn't feel the same way about you.

Sure, you thought you kissed him on your 18s birthday while you were drunk, but the next morning you were so ashamed that you hadn't even told him about it, pretended you didn't remember anything and that it had never happened. Marcus had done the same, and everything had ended there. Two years had passed since that night, you had gone to college, you had both had more or less long relationships.

That one kiss was now so far away that you had listed it among “once-in-a-lifetime mistakes.”

"I wanted to tell you, that's it. Friends tell each other everything, right?"

“Yes, of course, you can tell me anything, I’m happy for you” you replied 

You had listened to Marcus talk about the girls he liked dozens of times and you had never cared, you would have certainly forgotten it, it was just a passing crush, you told yourself. That annoyance you felt, that bitter taste in your throat, would disappear after a night's sleep. Your friendship was more important, you wouldn't have ruined it just because your brain had thought it interesting to make it something more.

Yet when you had tried to sleep all you had seen was Marcus kissing Alice. You had not seen them, fortunately, but it was not a hard scene to imagine, and unfortunately it was now implanted in your brain. His strong arms holding her, his soft lips resting on hers, her surrounding his neck with her arms, her pelvis rubbing against his. Suddenly you couldn't stand it. You had narrowed your eyes, cursing your creative mind, grunting in frustration. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” had asked Marcus from the other side of the bed.

You had lied, of course, but you had kept brooding until you fell asleep exhausted by the workings of your brain.

In the morning you had woken up confused, not at all rested, and in his arms.

Your face was resting on his chest next to your hand. How had you ended up there like that? You didn't know. You felt like you didn't know anything anymore. 

He was blissfully asleep. He seemed unaware of anything as your throat was dry, your head ached, and your pussy throbbed. Yes, throbbing, desperately. The warmth of his body, the scent of his skin, that knowledge you felt inside that this was exactly what you wanted and you couldn't even quantify how long you had wanted it.

And the panic that had seized you immediately afterward. You were convinced it was a mistake, the most terrible mistake you could make. So why did it feel so right? Why did his body feel like it was made for you? Oh no, no you couldn't allow that. Certainly he had no idea whatsoever about the situation, there was no way he was aware and let you do it, it was all your fault. 

You were going to ruin everything, your friendship, your relationship with the one man who really seemed to understand and support you. And for what? To fuck him once? It wasn't going to work between you romantically. You were going to have to spend two more years away seeing each other only during the holidays to begin with, and then you were both stubborn, too proud...no, it was wrong, you didn't care what your body told you, you had to let your brain prevail.

You slowly slipped away, back to your side of the bed, practically holding your breath, cursing yourself and your heart that wouldn't stop hammering in the middle of your chest.

He had woken up shortly after, acted as usual, getting up, stretching in his T-shirt and basketball shorts, mumbled good morning to you and locked himself in the bathroom. 

Your eyes had slid lasciviously over his body, stealing glances of his exposed skin between his T-shirt and shorts, of his broad shoulders stretching the fabric, of his thighs...

All while you wanted to sink into a black hole and disappear forever. You sank your face into the pillow to keep yourself from screaming. 

And what was worse was that you had to carry the burden of what you felt alone because the person you would normally talk to about it was the one you were longing for. Wonderful, a wonderful situation. 

When he had come out of the bathroom, with his beautiful smile and that rough voice that he always had early in the morning you almost lost control. You were about to beg him to join you in bed. Ugh, your 20s, uncontrollable, stupid, senseless hormones.

“What are you waiting for? Come on, go get dressed, we have to leave,” he had told you, in the same friendly and vaguely mocking tone as always. 

“Oh. yes, thank you, I promise I will be quick.” You had stammered.

You got up, grabbed some random clothes from your suitcase, your beauty case and went to the bathroom to shower and change. He would be ready in 10 minutes at most so he would always let you go to the bathroom first, to give you time to do your makeup and fix your hair. Marcus knew that about you, too, and he was okay with that. 

You closed the door behind you, feeling the tears stinging your eyes. You had managed to hold them back until that moment, but in the shower, covered by his of the water, they had flowed copiously and salty down your cheeks. 

____________________________________________

2000

“Hey! How are you! My goodness, long time no see!” 

You had met him at the supermarket, as you were going around the shelves intent on shopping for your mother. 

You were back at your parents' house for Thanksgiving with your husband, John. 

The last person you thought you would see was him. 

“Marcus!” you had squeaked.

“I am fine! How are you? And Danielle?” 

Your mother had taken it upon herself to inform you that he had also married, had no children, and had become a detective. 

“Danielle is just fine, she is right there down the aisle picking potatoes according to my mother's exact instructions,” he had rolled his eyes, chuckling.

Damn, you had thought, he's breathtakingly handsome. 

You hoped that in all the years you had lost touch with each other he would have lost at least some of his hair like his father, but apparently he had not inherited that gene. His hair was thick and healthy as usual, he wore a gray T-shirt under a black leather jacket and a pair of dark blue jeans. You hated the way he could put on two random things and look so damn perfect while you felt like you had spent your whole life in front of your closet wondering what to wear. And even more you hated his smile, so friendly and sweet, that it hadn't changed at all. 

He seemed genuinely glad to see you. 

You had lost touch with each other after graduation, despite the advent of cell phones, computers, and email. Your friendship had survived handwritten letters, postcards, prepaid phone cards but still crumbled eventually. You were on the opposite coast, intent on your master's degree, dreaming of becoming a writer; he was hooked on a career in law enforcement. 

The letters had become fewer and fewer, as had the phone calls, and eventually what was there had simply slipped away as the months passed, the commitments increased, and each of you tried to become the adult you had dreamed of being.

You had thought it was much better this way, you had stifled your feelings for him for another four years before accepting that nothing would ever happen. You had dated other guys in the meantime, but Marcus had always remained in your mind as the perfect guy you could never have. It was only when you had met John that you had allowed yourself to think that maybe it could work with someone who was not your old friend. He was understanding, sweet, supportive, present and caring with you. John was a really good guy and so you had finally decided to marry him. He had asked you one spring day at the Public Garden, while you were eating a lobster sandwich under a tree in front of the pond, watching the swans. Your offices were close by, so you tried to spend your lunch break together as often as you could. You had gotten a job at the Boston Globe, were in charge of the wedding column, and wrote romance novels in your spare time, sending manuscripts left and right in the hope that some editor would notice them. John was a stockbroker, pragmatic, punctual and very thorough in his work as much as he was sweet and attentive with you. 

“How about we get married?” he simply had said to you, with his mouth full. You had laughed, thought he was joking, until you noticed his serious and hopeful look and exclaimed “oh my God, yes!” throwing your sandwich in the air and wrapping your arms around his neck. That was all you wished for. You had moved in together in a beautiful house downtown, not very big but lovely, you had fallen in love with it as soon as you saw it. It was bright and warm, the right place to start your life with John.

You had, of course, sent an invitation to Marcus as well, but he had declined, saying he was very busy with work. You had kind of tied it on your finger and so you had decided that he might as well get out of your life after all. Times change, people change, all I can do is move on and try to forget how I feel about him by devoting myself to my relationship with John, you thought.

Now that you had him in front of you again though, he looked the same as he always did, only grown. And your heart had skipped a beat the instant you recognized his voice greeting you.

“How long do you plan to stay?” you had asked out of pure courtesy. 

“About a week, we were able to take a few days to relax a bit. We're always working like crazy, you know, we both needed to get away for a while. How about you?” 

“Yes, us too, by the way if you remember Sunday is my father's birthday and my mother really wanted us to be there.” 

“I guess. By the way, I'm sorry. My mother told me when we arrived.” 

Your father had been ill for several months and unfortunately there was little left to do at that point. He was slowly fading away and it would probably be the last Thanksgiving you would spend together.

“I thank you. Oh here's John. John this is Marcus, an old friend of mine. Marcus, this is John, my husband.”

“Nice to meet you, Marcus,” John had said, shaking his hand. 

“Honey, I'm done, shall we go?” had chirped Danielle's voice as she approached you. 

“Yes love, but first let me introduce you to an old friend of mine and her husband” Marcus had told her softly. 

“Oh it's you! Marcus has told me several times about you! It's nice to finally meet you in person.”

Danielle was beautiful, dark hair, blue eyes and delicate features, a little nose that looked as if it had been drawn by an artist, full lips, high cheekbones and a well-proportioned chin. Her voice was melodious and sweet and she looked at you with an excited and surprised expression, " He didn't tell me you were so pretty!" 

“Oh, thank you, you are too,” you had said, slightly embarrassed by such kindness. At that point John had held you proudly, as if you were his greatest prize. His arm had wrapped around your waist, and his eyes looked at you lovingly "didn't she? I'm lucky that she married me." 

Danielle had laughed graciously and shook his hand introducing herself, while you and Marcus looked at each other almost studying each other, as if you were both trying to figure out how happy you actually were in your marriages.

That habit of worrying about each other had not gone away; after all, you had been close friends for quite a few years, and your friendship had faded not because of a quarrel, but because of distance and becoming busy adults. And because you had to get over the crush you had on him, of course, but you had never told him that. 

“Well, we have to go now, anyway come and see us if you can. My mother would love to see you again,” Marcus had said before offering to push the cart full of food that his wife had left beside you and start toward the checkouts. 

“We'll try, thank you,” you had nodded. You definitely should have helped your mother, tried to soothe her at least a little from the strain of caring for your father 24/7; you didn't know how much more time would be left for other things. 

You had watched them walk off together from behind, down the canned food aisle where you had retrieved the ready-made cranberry sauce you would never have time to prepare. 

They were a good-looking couple, really, attractive, well-dressed, Danielle looking impeccable in a pair of jeans that bandaged her while highlighting her curves, a red blouse that matched her complexion, and a pair of vertiginous heels on which you didn't even know how to walk. She seemed to do it without any problem. 

“We should go too, honey” John's voice had brought you back down to earth. 

_________________________________________

Once home John had announced to your mother that you had met your old friend at the supermarket, and of course she was thrilled, “Oh, he's such a nice guy, I saw him and his wife the other day walking downtown, they are such a nice couple, aren't they?” 

John had agreed, taking a beer from the fridge “really” 

“Well, like you, of course” your mother had added, looking at you softly. 

And it was true, you were fine with John, he was a good person, a hard worker, he treated you like a princess. What more could you want? 

Yet since you had seen him again, Marcus's face had made room in your mind. The intrigued way he had looked at you, as if trying to understand everything that had happened to you in the years you had not been in touch, the way his arms were reaching out to embrace you when John had arrived, a barely imperceptible movement that only you had noticed because you knew him better than the palm of your hand, the dimple that had popped up on his cheek as he smiled at you, the usual one you had grown to love so much.

You had pinched the bridge of your nose as you tried to drive it from your mind “Are you okay love?” had asked John immediately. 

“Yes, I just have a little headache, I'll get something later,” you had lied, hurrying to put away the rest of the groceries. 

What annoyed you the most was that it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in your twenties and you had woken up hugging him in the bed of that dingy motel. It was absurd. You had worked so hard to move on and now it felt like you were back where you started. 

You couldn't let that happen, you wouldn't let your marriage be disrupted by a casual 10-minute meeting with him. 

You would not have gone to his house, no matter how much you would have liked to see his mother who had always been so kind to you. 

You had other things to think about anyway; your father was stuck in a hospital bed that you had managed to get him to be more comfortable. He had been put in the guest room on the ground floor, next to the bathroom, he couldn't do the stairs, and it was also easier for your mother to accompany him. The strong and generous man he had been was wearing out before your eyes, and it was a terribly painful image. You knew he had little time left, and you didn't want to waste it chasing the ghosts of the past when you had a husband who was helping you and hugging you every night trying to lessen your pain. 

Your Thanksgiving dinner had been unique to say the least, each of you shuttling from the dining room to your father's to spend some time with him, making sure he had everything he needed, helping him eat and drink. You had marveled at how gentle and patient John was with your dad, the big man you had married, one with two shoulders like a football player, feeding your father fruit jelly almost more gracefully than you. 

You knew how fond he was of your dad, they had hit it off right away, but you didn't know how much he was willing to sacrifice for him. You were moved.

___________________________________________

Your father was gone four days later. You and John were supposed to leave for Boston the next morning instead you had to call in to work, cancel your flight, call your trusty neighbor Marge to ask her to look at your house, pick up your mail, and water your plants. 

You were crushed and at the same time overwhelmed with bureaucracy so you couldn't stop. You had forgotten to eat breakfast that morning, got dressed in a hurry to go to the funeral home to deliver the suit with which you had decided to bury your father, then went to do some paperwork with the insurance company and finally to the church to arrange with the pastor the time of the service and the proceedings. When you left the church you felt an emptiness in your stomach, your head was spinning, you had eaten barely a sandwich in the last two days. 

You knew you were about to collapse, saw a café across the street from the church, and went inside to get a croissant and cappuccino to go. 

When you came out you found yourself in front of Danielle. She was so sorry, of course your mother had informed Marcus's mother and they would be attending the funeral. Danielle hugged you as if you were her sister, telling you that she understood you because she too had lost her father a few years earlier and even though you didn't know each other well you could have called her if you needed anything. 

You had thanked her and headed for the car, locked yourself in and took a couple of minutes to chug your croissant and drink your cappuccino. At least partially regenerated from the late breakfast you had headed back home, where John and your mother were waiting for you.

In the car you had been thinking about how kind Danielle had been and how lucky Marcus was to be with her.

The next day you had put on a sober black suit that you used for the office and probably wouldn't be able to wear again after that day, put on just enough makeup, helped John put on his tie, and headed for church with him and your mom. 

All three of you were exhausted, grieving, trying to hold the pieces together as best you could with each other's help but your dad's absence was hard to bear. You wished you could have woken up and found it had been just a nightmare, you wished you could have hugged him and talked to him and he, as he had always done, would have found the words you needed most.

There was only one other person who could soothe your worries in the same way your dad could, and that person was Marcus. 

John had been able to be there for you anyway, with actions more than words, taking tasks to take away from you, relieving you of burdens you could not carry alone, and for that you were infinitely grateful. He was a good husband. 

After the service, under his arm, you left the church behind your mother. You had lost count of the number of people who had come to hug you, faces you had never seen, work colleagues of your father's whom you had never met, old childhood friends, the church was full of people who had come to remember him fondly. This pleased you, but it was strange to you at the same time. You wished you had some time to yourself, alone, to try to catch your breath and rationalize at least some of what had happened, that blender of emotions that had shaken and sucked you in. 

You had made your way to the cemetery, walking along the path that led to the family grave where your grandparents were buried you had felt like you were in a muffled bubble where everything moved in slow motion, barely sensing John's presence beside you. 

When you had arrived, you had looked up for only a moment and before you had seen Marcus's. You had not noticed his presence in the church, busy as you were with hugging and greeting, you had seen only his mother but he had remained in the background, respecting your grief. Just as you wished others had done. There was nothing more to be said, he always knew what you needed, no matter how many years had passed, he could still read you like an open book just like when at 18 he had realized that your highest aspiration was to become a writer without even the need to make it explicit in words. 

His eyes were swollen and reddened; it was obvious that he was moved. Beside him was Danielle with a pair of dark glasses covering her face, clutching his arm elegantly and dignifiedly. 

You had smiled weakly at him, thanking him with your eyes, and he had smiled back, looking at you with the sweetest, sorriest eyes I had seen that day. 

___________________________________________

You had stayed behind to watch the final burial operations, while John had driven your mother back to the car, who had burst into convulsive tears, crushed by the realization that she had lost forever the man she had loved most in the world. 

You had felt a hand barely graze your shoulder, you had turned around and saw Marcus standing there on the grass “hey” As soon as you had seen him the impulse to hug him had come to you spontaneously, he had welcomed you into his arms, stroking your head, wrapping you against his chest, trying to comfort you. 

Being close to him still felt like home, his warmth immediately made you feel calmer, less alone, and not that John couldn't do that but with Marcus it was different. He had always been different in a way that was impossible to explain but that you felt hammering hard in your heart.

“Thank you,” you had whispered, with the tears you had finally allowed yourself to shed wetting your cheeks and his shirt. 

“Don't mention it,” he had whispered, continuing to hold you close. 

You had lingered a little longer in his embrace before pulling away and asking where Danielle was. 

"She went home with my mom. I stayed in case you needed anything.” 

“It's okay, thank you, there was no need,” you stammered lyingly. Yes you needed him, now more than ever, and he knew it well. 

“Your mother and John?” 

“Aunt Maggie drove them home, they left my mom's car with me.”

“Do you want me to drive?” she had asked and all you could do was nod ”please. But then how are you going to get back?” 

“I'll call Danielle, don't worry” she had encircled your waist with an arm as she walked you to the car. She had opened the door and helped you get in, even buckled your seat belt no matter how hard you had tried to insist you could do it yourself. 

Marcus did not spare himself when it came to caring for others. 

He had climbed up on the driver's side and in a rush had hugged you back, there, inside the car, whispering, “You don't know how sorry I am, baby. Your father was a great man.” 

You had looked at him gratefully, amid tears that had begun to flow profusely again "thank you" 

He had kissed you, right after that. And the instant his lips had rested on yours, you had felt that you could not help yourself no matter how hard you had tried to bury your feelings all those years. There was something inexplicable that united you, a way of understanding each other that needed no words, as if you were made to recognize each other, to see inside each other's souls. You had read in his eyes that day in the supermarket how much he had missed you, and he had read the same in yours, and just before that you had felt the same need to have him near, in spite of John, Danielle, and anything else that told you it was wrong. Deep inside you had always known it was right, you had felt it from the moment you first met him. You had been crowing for years about people talking about soul mates, meetings of destiny, and things like that. But now you knew you had felt it. His soft lips on yours were like honey to your soul, you wished you could sink into that feeling, drown in that sea and never rise again.

You couldn't leave John though. Not after you had built a life together in Boston, not after he had supported and cared for you all those days. Not after all he had done for you. 

As much as it hurt to do so, you pulled away from his lips. “I’ve always thought about you, all these years,” he said. “I’m sorry, you know, I didn’t realize it before, that maybe we could be something more. I never told you, but I remembered that kiss we shared when we were 18 very well.” Marcus was a torrent of words and was saying everything you’d always wanted to hear. “And I remember the night in that motel, too, how you held me in your sleep. I…” You knew he was about to say something like “I love you” “I’ve always loved you,” and so you cut him off. “Marcus.” He paused, his mouth half open as he looked at you in shock. “It’s too late. We can’t. Maybe there was a chance a few years ago, but now? We’re both married, we have responsibilities, we have to be realistic. It’s not fair to Danielle and John. And I have a job and a life in Boston, I can’t just leave everything all of a sudden.”

“But I…” and you knew he was about to say those words again. “Please don’t say that. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

Marcus had fallen silent, looking down at his hands draped over his lap, and then said sadly, “I understand.”

You had just lost your father and now you were losing him too. It wasn’t fair, but it was the only thing to do. “Take me home, please.” He would have started the car without saying anything, driving to your house without looking at you again, perhaps afraid that he wouldn’t be able to let you go if he ever laid eyes on you again. 

You got out of the car just saying thank you, without hugging him because you knew it would have hurt even more.

____________________________________

2008

When John had told you that you should move to Washington DC, you had not taken it well. You did not want to leave Boston, the bright home where you had begun to build your new life, that city that had welcomed you. Starting all over again somewhere else, in a city you had never been to, seemed too much. 

In the end, however, you had accepted it; leaving John seemed even worse. And he had continued to be a good husband, so you saw no reason to part with him.

After all, he had received a good promotion, he had rented a house where you had found a familiar light again, it had big windows, high ceilings, big rooms. John made good money and had tried to accommodate you in everything. 

He had made it worth it all the way.

You had been struggling a bit to fit into the editorial staff of the new newspaper you had found work for. You were aiming for the Washington Post, but they had totally bounced you, which had been no small disappointment to digest. 

However, after all, your life had regained some meaning. 

It was now six months since you had moved, you hadn't heard from Marcus in eight years. And this time it was not because of distance, but because it had really hurt you to find out that he felt something too but it never seemed to be the right time for you. It would have been in 1993 perhaps, if you had had courage, if you had taken the risk of exploring your feelings together. He hadn't had the guts to tell you anything, you were too afraid, and when you had found common ground it had immediately collapsed. 

John had noticed that something was wrong, even he knew you well enough to know that it pained you not to hear from your friend again, and at times he had even urged you to call him. You had told him that he had said something unpleasant about Danielle while you were in the car and you had felt sorry for her, from there you had started to argue. It was a really boorish excuse and you were pretty sure John hadn't bought it but had played it off for the sake of quiet life. 

“Can you stop by the bank to deposit this check this morning?” he had told you that morning before leaving the house. You were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and enjoying your day off. 

“Sure,” you had answered him, ”I'll go there before I go to the laundry to pick up my dress for tonight.” 

“Mmm the burgundy dress with that dizzying neckline?” he had told you as he leaned over to give you a kiss 

“Just that one” you had smiled as you returned the kiss and caressed his cheek ”you like it huh?”

“I'm looking forward to tonight” he had chuckled before leaving the house with his briefcase ”I'll be home at 7 o'clock okay?”

“Perfect, I'll be ready” you had thrown him a kiss and then curled up in your chair, finishing your coffee and admiring the view of the waking city outside. 

It was your anniversary, and he was going to take you to dinner at a French restaurant you had heard about in enthusiastic tones from your discerning colleague who was a food and wine critic. 

You had dressed quietly, gone out to do your chores, had a manicure appointment, then gone to pick up your dress at the dry cleaners and finally to the bank. 

As soon as you had left the bank you had bumped into a guy. 

You had looked up and been stunned. 

Marcus.

How was that possible? 

“Oh shit,” he had exclaimed.

His hair was slightly longer, he had grown a mustache and a beard but it was him, there was no doubt about it, you would have recognized him in a thousand. 

"What are you doing here?" you had asked him, widening your eyes, without a hello or how are you or anything else, you were too shocked. 

He was the last person you expected to see on your anniversary. 

Marcus had brushed his hand behind his neck, the gesture he always made when he was embarrassed “I got a big promotion” in a tone as if to apologize for existing in the same state as you, in the same city as you, for coexisting in the same environment as you.

“Whatever...I have to go, anyway, have a nice life,” you had tried to say quickly, to disengage yourself from that surreal situation. 

You had already turned your back on him when you heard him say “no wait...please...would you like to have a cup of coffee?”

You had turned silently to look at him. He couldn't have been serious. Yet he was.

And looking into those big brown pleading eyes, for some reason you had not been able to say no.

“All right,” you had replied with a shrug, ”I'll give you half an hour, then I'll have to go home.”

You went to sit in a café around the corner and ordered a cappuccino.

"So how are you?" you asked absentmindedly. 

“Danielle and I broke up last spring.” 

“Oh. I'm sorry.” It was like a blade through the chest to hear his voice again, to hear him say that he was single again and that his marriage was over. Somehow it made you feel guilty even though after eight years it was unlikely that the main reason for their breakup was you. 

“Yeah...she wanted children and for a while we tried but...” 

“Marcus please, I don't care, it's your business because it's over,” you cut off. 

You didn't have to get involved again. When you had thought back to your father's death and how he had confessed right afterwards you had been angry with him. Why had he done it at that time when you were so particularly vulnerable? It wasn't fair. 

"Sorry I-" he had babbled.  

“Never mind, never mind,” you had interrupted him again with a hand gesture. “Look, let's talk straight once and for all” you didn't know where all that aggression was coming from but it was growing inside you inexorably, like an infection ”why the hell are we here?” 

He had lowered his gaze to his cappuccino, then brought it back to you and stared at you in a way that made you feel naked and helpless. He still had an effect on you, and it pissed you off. “I miss you,” he had admitted under his breath, ”I miss talking to you and I miss having you around. I miss everything about you. When I saw you I couldn't believe it. But I know I can't let you leave without clearing things up.” 

“There's nothing left to clear up. It's over Marcus, can't you see that? There was never a right time for us.” 

“That's not true, I-” 

“Stop it! Look, I'm trying to live my life, you do it too,” you had screeched

“But-” 

“No 'buts'... Marcus, I'm tired. I'm tired of this running into each other and don't tell me it's fate because it's just pure randomness. John was transferred for work, now we live here, end of story. I'm still with him, okay? And I'm happy, so please leave me alone.” 

You could see his clenched fist on the coffee table, his eyes glazed with tears, his Adam's apple jumping as you mentioned John. He looked devastated. It was no longer your business anyway, so you had gotten up and made to leave, leaving a bill on the coffee table. “Don't look for me anymore.” 

Marcus had jumped up, his chair had fallen back crashing onto the pavement, and he didn't even seem to notice as he tried to stop you.

“Please” he had grabbed you by the sleeve of his jacket ”please.” 

You had turned back to him and looking into his eyes you had seen the little boy who asked you if he would ever be famous, the one who helped you with your homework, the 20-year-old who had involved you in the craziest vacation of your life, and then the adult who had broken your heart. 

“No.” you had whispered, ”no fucking way.” 

Marcus' face was a grimace of pain, as if in physical pain from your rejection, his shoulders hunched and his hand not letting go of you. He was pathetic and sweet at the same time.

His eyes were fixed in yours as he told you loud and clear, “I love you.”

I love you. 

You had longed to hear it come from his lips for so long that now it was like a lash that burned against your skin. You had stopped feeling like you were glued to the sidewalk, unable to take a step forward “What the hell! Did you have to tell me that? Was it necessary after I told you that I am still with my husband? Fuck, your timing is the worst thing ever. Do you know what day it is today? My wedding anniversary.” you had thrown up words at him angrily, feeling a knot in your stomach that nauseated you. 

“I don't want anything from you,” he had replied, his voice trembling, ”I just wanted you to know.”

“And now that I know according to you what have we solved? What have we gained? I'll tell you, absolutely nothing Marcus.” 

You had turned around and left, yelling at him, “I'll tell you again, don't ever look for me.” 

You had come home and taken a long hot bath, cried your last tears for him, and then decided it was John you had to think about, your special day. Marcus wasn't going to ruin it for you. You had prepared yourself carefully, put on the dress he liked so much, your favorite perfume, and waited for John. When he had come home you had driven out to a restaurant, had had a delicious dinner, sex as soon as you got home, and fallen asleep in his arms feeling that it was right. 

___________________________________

2010

“Love don't wait up for me, I'll be back late. I am so sorry, I love you.” 

It was already the fourth time in a week that he sent you such a message, by now John spent more time in the office than anywhere else. He had been given another promotion and was now mainly in charge of foreign exchanges, so he went to the office at impossible hours, came back later and later, and you barely saw him in the morning getting out of bed to jump in the shower. You hadn't had sex for at least a month, in those days you had talked more often with the mailman than with your husband.” 

Finally a publishing house had noticed you and they had published your book, you had gotten a chance to continue working for the newspaper by writing your articles from home so you could work on your second novel. 

You had huffed, looking at the screen, by now you were going to your friends' dinners alone, in those two years you had bonded with some couples in your neighborhood, and with a colleague from the newspaper and her husband. Every time you had been invited in the last three months John had declined, saying he had to work. 

You were beginning to feel really alone in your marriage, but you knew you had to try something. You still cared about John; you didn't want everything you had built together to be ruined. Sure, since he was earning more money he was showering you with unexpected and expensive gifts that certainly didn't make up for his absence, though. You had never been a materialistic person, no matter how beautiful the diamond bracelets and pearl necklaces and expensive shoes were, you missed falling asleep cuddled with your husband, feeling his caresses, having breakfast with him in the morning, spending a weekend together on the couch watching TV cuddling, simply spending time with him. For the past few weeks you had failed to write a word, you had hastily completed articles for the newspaper just to meet deadlines but your novel had stalled. You were busy cleaning to take your mind off things, you had joined the gym to force yourself to leave the house but then you would go back and find yourself spending entire evenings lounging around, not knowing what else to do. 

You had decided that night that you had to take matters into your own hands, put on a pretty dress, fixed your hair and make-up thoroughly, and then went out with the intention of surprising him. You were going to bring him his favorite dishes from your favorite Chinese restaurant to the office. 

When you had arrived at his workplace, you had looked up from the car window and seen the light on in his office. 

You had come down loaded with Chinese noodles and dumplings, and as you walked toward the entrance you had noticed his car parked not far away. 

You had taken the elevator with your heart in your throat, looking forward to seeing his happy face as he enjoyed a hot meal. The elevator had opened on the floor and you had started down the hallway leading to his office. There was no one there, everything was quiet and still, but the closer you got to his office the more you heard strange noises. Bellowing, hushed voices. 

The door was pulled over, you had pushed it slightly, and the scene that unfolded before your eyes was unsettling. 

Veronica, a married colleague of him whom you had met at the firm's Christmas party a few months earlier, was bent over John's desk, her skirt up, her panties down, her long legs covered by black hold-ups, her stilettos sinking into the Persian carpet under John's desk. And your husband holding her hips and sinking into her from behind. 

His shirt was hanging off his shoulders, his hair was disheveled, his neck tense and sweaty, as he stood there with his cool wool pants down, fucking his colleague. 

He grunted some words that you had never heard him say when you were having sex “Yeah, bitch, you like that huh? You like getting pounded by my cock huh? You're such a dirty slut, do you feel how wet you are for me?" 

You couldn't believe your eyes. Your sweet husband, the one who had stood by you so devotedly…where had that man gone? 

You dropped the bag with the Chinese dinner on the floor, the boxes had opened, and the noodles had spread all over the hardwood floor. “What the fuck?!”

John had turned around shocked, still with his cock inside his coworker “Oh shit. No, wait, honey I-” he had stepped out of her and tried to pull up his pants awkwardly ”please-fuck-I can explain.” 

“There's nothing to explain, you piece of shit!” you had yelled at him as he approached trying to stammer out some stupid excuse and had slapped him open-handed across the face as soon as he got in front of you ‘don't bother coming home’ you had added contemptuously.

“But love I-” he had pranced rubbing his cheek ”please-” 

“NO!” You had yelled “No, I don't want to hear your bullshit excuses, I don't want anything more to do with you, you disgust me!”

Veronica was standing in the corner buttoning her blouse and pulling down her skirt without meeting your gaze, her face hot and guilty.

Everything that you had sacrificed for that relationship, how you had followed him and reinvented your life for him, adapting to his needs, trying to build a happy nest for the two of you in Washington, all had been swept away. He had stomped on your marriage, your trust, your heart. 

You had driven home crying, risking missing a red light, had nailed down at the last moment with your heart bouncing inside your chest like a jackhammer. You had walked into the house throwing your purse and coat on the floor, throwing your shoes in the middle of the hallway and throwing yourself on the bed, hiding your face in the pillow with your head bursting, a sense of helplessness and defeat enveloping your temples, your chest, your stomach. 

It was over.

John had never come home, you had learned through his lawyer that he had rented an apartment near his office, and a week later he sent three big guys from a moving company to pick up his things.

You couldn't stay in that house anymore. Everything reminded you of him, the lies he had been telling you for months and what was even worse, all the happy moments you had lived in there in spite of yourself. 

You were dragging yourself from room to room without strength, you hadn't written anything anymore, you had told the editor of the newspaper that you were sick to have an excuse to delay the deadlines for your articles. 

You were tired, you were angry, you lacked the will to do anything, after three days without seeing you leave the house your friend Denise, who lived across the street had called you alarmed to see if you were all right, and hearing your dejected, fading voice had decided to use the keys you had given her in case of an emergency to come and check on you in person. 

You had not been able to lie to her; you had burst into tears and told her everything as soon as she asked you where John was. 

From that day she had been by every day bringing you dinner, making sure you ate, forcing you to shower, tidying up. You didn't know what you had done to deserve Denise in your life but you were incredibly grateful that she was there. 

Gradually you had forced yourself to take charge of your life again, started going out again pushed by your friends and even moved house, encouraged by them. You couldn't turn over a new leaf without getting out of there. 

And you had especially realized that you could walk with your head held high; you were not the one who had to be ashamed. 

And looking back on it, you had really overcome a lot in the last few years. The loss of your father, Marcus, your husband. All the men who had meant something to you in your life. 

You could have been proud that you did your best to stay on your feet. 

________________________________________________________

2011 

It had been a year since you had discovered John screwing his colleague.

You had tried dating men, without success, but things were going very well professionally. You had finally managed to finish your second book, and the publisher had been extremely pleased, so much so that he had arranged a series of meetings for you at bookstores around the country.  You had just returned from Ohio when you got a call from your mother inviting you for Christmas.

You had no desire to return to Sacramento, but how could you say no to your mom? She was left alone and it had not been easy for her. Your aunt and uncle lived nearby and took care of her but she had said she missed you a lot.

And she was so proud of you, she had asked you for copies of your books to give to all her friends, she was your biggest fan. You were happy to see her and spend time with her. 

And so, there you were at the airport, with a big suitcase, ready to get on yet another plane and fly across the country. 

You had just gotten an upgrade to business class and were in the private lounge of the area airline ordering yourself a martini when you heard a familiar voice behind you calling your name. 

Marcus. Again. 

“I swear I'm not following you,” he had raised his hands in surrender. 

“I know. I haven't seen you in three years, and we live in the same town.”

You had smiled; it wasn't bad to see his face again after all. 

“Martini?” He had asked pointing to your glass 

“Yeah. Can you please make another one?” You had said turning toward the bartender. 

You had sat at a small table with your cocktails “Are you going to see your mother?”

You had nodded, “You too?” 

“Yes, my parents were very insistent. Where is John?” 

“I have no idea,” you had squeezed into your shoulders taking a sip of your martini. 

“Oh, did you break up? I'm sorry, he seemed like a good man,” he had said.

“Apparently he wasn't since he was cheating on me with one of his colleagues.” 

“You should have better judgment anyway, aren't you a detective?” you had asked, raising an eyebrow and looking at him wryly 

Marcus had burst out laughing, “You're right, I should.”

And he had told you about the time he had fallen in love with someone named Teresa, a colleague of his, and had been left like a poor idiot the previous year, without realizing that she was in love with someone else. 

“It wasn't your fault, you know,” you told him sweetly, ”I know how you get when you have a crush.” 

“How do I become?” he had asked you with a sigh.

And you had replied with a smirk “Well, if you must know...naive, head in the clouds, like you live in a world of unicorns and fairies” 

“Really? A ridiculous clown? Is that what I become?” he had chuckled and then turned serious again ”Not with you, I hope”

You had laughed, you could have laughed at that point. Or maybe it was just the martini clouding your mind. 

“Whatever,” you had rolled your eyes. 

“Well, I'm sorry,” he had muttered.

“It's okay” you had smiled ”Really.”

At that moment they had announced boarding for your flight, so you had hurried to the gate together. 

You were both in business, so eventually you had sat next to each other and continued chatting. 

And it was nice, really nice. You were both single, more aware, you had reached an age where you could be honest with yourselves and you could joke about your dramas. 

“So you had noticed that I had hugged you that night huh?” 

“Sure. You pounced on me in my sleep and woke me up. I didn't want to embarrass you so I played it cool” she had smiled ”I thought you were sleepwalking and dreaming of hugging Keanu Reeves or whatever.” 

You had burst out in the loudest laugh you had had in years and then covered your mouth embarrassed that you had disturbed the other passengers. Fortunately those in your vicinity all had headphones on and were watching a movie. 

“Oh, come on” you had tapped his shoulder and then taken by you don't know what courage-probably the second martini you were downing-you had said ”the only one I dreamed of hugging was you.” 

“I didn't realize this until later...Now is there anyone you would like to hug by any chance?” he had whispered in your ear.

“Actually...yes” 

And there, in that plane, you kissed. For the first time without hindrance, without remorse, without drama, without fear. “I love you” he had whispered on your lips, and you had responded, finally free to say it ”I love you too.”

“So we'll try this time?” he had caressed your cheek, sliding his hand down your neck. 

“Yes” You had said ”definitely yes.”

“Your mother will be delighted” he had smiled, kissing you again “it's going to be a great Christmas.”

“Well, Merry Christman then” you whispered as your mouth moved down his neck.

“Merry Christmas, baby”

[astrologuzzy]

★ MY ASTRO OBSERVASHUNS ★

Disclaimer before I start: I’m no professional astrologer so don’t come for me, mkayyy? MWAH 💋

♡ 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒, more specifically those with Gemini placements in their personal planets loveeeee playing around with their voice a lot. Just utilizing their voice to be a silly goobert. Like making voice impressions or funny sound effects is very natural for them. Which is why I think so many Geminis are comedians, artists and actors. Whenever I see someone who makes goofy sounds or is very into voice acting I instantly know they must be a Gemini/have heavy Mercury placements and up until now i was 100% correct each time lmao. (As someone who has Gemini placements myself: I love to make funny voices or impressions, sometimes I do it without realizing lol)

♥︎ Which actually brings my to my second point on 𝐆𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐈 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 but those that are musicians; I noticed they frequently love to play around with different genres of music and different styles of singing/rapping in general, even all in one song simultaneously. Good example would probably be Kanye West or Kendrick Lamar. Their music and style tends to be very versatile and they tend to incorporate even very random notes/effects/sounds to it as well.

♡ Oh my goodness, all the 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒 I’ve ever known have this damn thing where if you don’t ask them specifically for what you wanna know, they’ll never even tell you it. I had a friend with a full blown Libra stellium that I finally caught up with after months of no contact and this girl only told me about her having a girlfriend and getting into a car accident only 3 days later!? That was thanks to me for randomly mentioning romance and cars, otherwise she wouldn’t have even shared it. So if you wanna hear a Libra disclose something specific with you, just be direct with it.

♥︎ I haven’t met an 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 that wasn’t impulsive and would jump from one relationship/project into another and then complain about how everything turns out a mess (but then get back up and repeat the cycle again smh).

♡ 𝟏𝟐 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐒 and their hidden enemies is actually very fukkin real. I got to witness it closely for the first time and oh boi am I shook lol. My boyfriend has a 12H moon and I’ve witness multiple times strangers come up to us, start a conversation and then just become insanely rude to him outta absolutely nowhere as if they been having beef with him since kindergarten?! Randoms tend to get mad or hostile so easily at him even if he doesn’t say anything bad... it’s so weird.

♥︎ Every person with an 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 in their big 3 has this feistiness to them. Even when they’re super sweet and chill type of Aries I still notice that they have moments where they’re quite direct or don’t really care about what you think. They’re gonna say what they wanna say one way or another and it’s honestly so natural to them, I don’t think they even notice. Even the quiet Aries in my life have this demeanor to them that you just don’t fuck with because they’ll bite back at some point.

♡ In my experience, every 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒 that I’ve ever known always expressed their appreciation and affection in letters/poems/metaphors very frequently. Very romantic, very abstract, Shakespeare who? Every time they’d send a whole ass paragraph like 🥀”you are like a rose that fell in this chaotic ocean and turned it into a tranquil lake” 🍂 just to describe my eyes or something. I don’t think my Aquarius moon is cut for such stuff lmao, it makes me cringe a bit but I do appreciate it! Although every Pisces mars guy I ever knew had additional water placements in their big 3 (like Cancer sun or a Pisces moon) which probably only doubled that sentimentality they had.

♥︎ 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 and their anger issues is something and that something is very real... That’s it, that’s the Tweet lol

♡ Idk what it is about 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 men but they always make me wanna take care of them and like baby them when they’re in their feels and retract and act like they aren’t on the verge of tears... Make me wanna go and cuddle them lol. Especially Cancer moons for wtv reason really soften my Aqua moon when I’m around without them even doing/saying anything.

♥︎ Also 𝐋𝐈𝐁𝐑𝐀 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒 are insanely great at faking their true state of being. I’ve met so many Libras that on the outside look like they’re having a blast but when you actually get to know them you see that their house burned down, their granny died, they almost choked to death twice last week and their partner broke up with them for 15th time that day and now they’re homeless... And you’re like damn bro, I’d literally never guess. They really know how to mask everything, put up a great front for others and do it insanely convincingly. You literally would never guess what that Libra is actually going thru, it’s probably worse than you can image. Please check up on your Libra friends and Libras - it’s ok to ask for helpppp. You guys deserve it <3

♡ 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐔𝐒 𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 are one of the funniest mothafukers everrrrr, they always make me laugh so much! Double points if they have Gemini or other Fire placements with it. Just hilarious individuals.

♥︎ 𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐈𝐎 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐒 are actually pretty chill people, you won’t see them angry often (but they make sure you know when they do). Usually our anger and passion is more so hidden and works backstage. Compared to 𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐒 that are loud with it and don’t hold back.

That’s it for todayyyy ☀︎

[avocado-writing]

Okay, I've had this idea bouncing around in my head, waiting for you to reopen suggestions, haha. How do you think the Origins Companions + Halsin, Rolan, Dammon, and Zevlor would react if they found out that Tav had been hiding a very serious injury from them? The kind of injury where Tav is convinced that they're fine and they don't want to worry anyone with something they can handle on their own, especially the people they care most for, but as they try to ignore the injury it only gets worse until it's potentially life threatening and they can't keep up the facade anymore. I will leave it up to you whether or not Tav and the other individual are in a romantic relationship. I think both ways have potential for wonderful angst 😆

ooohhh noooooo! but also oh yes, LOVE this sort of angst lol. written as if you have had an infection come on from an injury. this is gonna be a long list so let's buckle up...

Astarion

really tries to hide his panic but fails miserably.

can't help but start snapping - how could you keep something like this from him?

you try to give your excuses but he waves them away, angry, but mostly because he's terrified that he might have lost you.

if he has any healing potions he helps you take them, if he doesn't he immediately... sources some from somewhere.

holds you as tight as he dares, worried that he will aggravate the injury otherwise.

as you begin to heal and drift off to sleep he spends the whole night watching you rest, making sure that you're still breathing, still safe. doesn't mind when you cuddle up to him in the night, sleepily.

Gale

curses himself for not noticing your condition. he's a wizard, damn it! he's meant to be bloody perceptive.

wishes for the first time ever that he didn't just know wizard spells. wishes he knew how to heal, too.

makes you as comfortable as he can while he finds a book about what he can do for an infected wound, probably swallowing his pride and going to Shadowheart if it's bad enough.

you manage a weak, "Gale, you don't have to--", and he cuts you off, "if you're going to insist that I don't have to look after you, I'm telling you that I do."

fixes you something to help with the pain and infection, makes sure you drink it all despite the horrid taste, then tucks you into his bedroll to let you rest.

when you go to reach out and cuddle him he slips into your arms, presses his lips to your hair, and whispers as you fall asleep about how much you scared him. about how he'd never be able to lose you.

Lae'zel

only realises how unwell you are when you fall over mid-journey.

"tsk'va! why did you hide the extent of your injuries from me?"

hauls you onto her back and carries you back to camp, muttering about your foolishness the whole time.

makes you comfortable in her tent and uses her knowledge of githyanki medicine to help start healing you.

it isn't comfortable as she works on your infection but for the first time you feel her hands being soft rather than vicious.

"you should not have kept this from me." "I know. I'm sorry." "hm. ridiculous thing. zhak vo'n'fynh duj."

goes and intimidates the camp into being quiet so you can rest. it works. this is the nicest she's ever been to you. you could get used to it.

Shadowheart

obviously this is not a huge problem for her, but she is still worried that it got so far without her noticing.

immediately heals you, pouring far too many spell slots into your body in order to get it up and running again.

it helps, immediately breaking the fever you've been nursing, and the touch of Shadowheart's hand to your face is cooling and reassuring.

"lady shar teaches us to embrace our pain... but not like this. you should have known better. you could have died."

her hand slips down to cup your cheek, you cover it with one of your own. she's telling you off but you can tell it's because she cares.

"I'm sorry that I scared you." "I know. don't do it again."

she smiles and the ache in your heart is lifted, too.

Wyll

panics.

you collapse on day in camp and he immediately calls on the others for help, not so proud as to be unable to admit when something is out of his knowledge. he is not a healer. he needs help.

he manages to catch you in his arms as you tumble, hugging you close to his chest while magic is worked or a healer checks you over.

lets out a breath he didn't realise he was holding when you begin to stabilise.

helps you back to your tent to rest, gently chiding you but letting you know that he's glad you're alright.

when your hand weakly comes up to touch him, he indulges you in a kiss to let you know how relieved he is.

constantly watching you on the battlefield from that moment on. if he can help it, you'll never be hurt again.

Karlach

another panicker.

scoops you up in her arms and holds you to her chest, running to the tent of the nearest healer in camp - or, if you're in the city, kicking down the door of a local doctor.

begging the healer to check you over, but is reluctant to let you go. if she stops holding you it's like she's relinquishing control and that scares the life out of her.

you're healed and she feels you start to stir in her arms, peppering you with kisses of relief, choking through her tears that you're never to scare her like that again.

carries you back home, even if you're totally capable of walking. she just wants to make sure you're okay.

Halsin

sternly disappointed that you didn't tell him, but more annoyed that he didn't notice something was wrong himself. how could he not see how out of balance with nature you were?

squirrels you away to his tent to heal you, make you soothing and medicinal teas, his big hands over the source of the infection.

you burrow into his touch, into his chest, and you end up sitting in his lap as he heals you.

he wants to tell you off a little, but is more relieved that you're alright. encourages you to share all your burdens with him.

kisses you on the forehead, then on the mouth when he's sure you're strong enough for it not to knock you flat.

Dammon

my poor boy is just a blacksmith, so though he doesn't exactly panic, he does scoop you up and try to find a healer as soon as he can.

waits quietly and nervously as you are examined, silently cursing himself for being too busy to see how you were hurt. he's meant to be better than this. he's meant to love you, how didn't he notice?

when you come to he can't stop apologising, and it takes several of your kisses to soothe him and tell him it was not his fault but yours.

he makes you promise that you'll always tell him when you're hurt. has you look into his eyes and swear it.

he can't do much on the battlefield but he can protect you where he can.

Rolan

another one cursing that he doesn't know healing spells.

"you aren't meant to die, gods damn it! you're meant to be strong... what good am I if I can't keep you safe..."

rushes you to the best doctor in Baldur's Gate. pays for all the treatment that you could need. holds your hand at your bedside for your entire recovery... until you come back to consciousness, of course, at which point he just starts telling you off for being stupid enough to get into his mess in the first place.

you grab him by the collar and drag him down for a kiss. that finally shuts him up. but he never lets you forget how foolish you were.

Zevlor

practical but still worried about you.

you collapse in the field and he finds a safe place to hide the both of you from dangerous eyes, using his Lay on Hands ability to channel his magic into healing.

you try to apologise but a finger to your lips silences you, and all you can do is watch in quiet wonder as he burns the infection out with his Paladin's light.

when you're better he gently chides you. tells you that you have people relying on your leadership, and that a problem shared means there are more heads working on how to fix it.

when he sees how sorry you are lets you cuddle into him. when you say you'll repay him, he insists your happiness and well-being is enough for an old warrior like him.

does take the kiss you offer, though. he's been wanting to do that for a while...

[helslastangel]

Mars in 1H & 7H Synastry: From My Experiences 🔞

Minors, do not interact. This one's not for you.

I know this is widely known with 1H Mars synastry, but it bears repeating: this is such an electric and sexy aspect to have!

...IF you like each other. But if you don't?

Especially if the attraction is one-sided? It is SO cringe. One of you could end up hating the other easily.

In fact, let me tell you two stories that show just how differently things can go with this aspect.

Positive 1H Mars Synastry

Guy A: Leo Sun, Virgo Moon, Cancer Rising & Venus

I have my Mars in his 1H and his Venus is in my 1H.

This a VERY physical aspect, so if you're the type who loves long hugs, hugs from behind, poking, nibbling, cuddling, kissing and a LOT of sex, even after YEARS together, then keep an eye out for this aspect.

Guy A was my boyfriend of 4 years and we broke up right around the time we would have been talking engagement and such. He was also my best friend for 8 years (which would be 15 years now if we hadn't stopped talking a year after the break up).

I was wildly attracted to this guy from day one. And vice versa! And when we finally got together? Literally could not stop touching each other. It was so funny at times. You know those annoying couples trying to hold hands, steer the cart, and pick stuff up all at once in the grocery store? Yeah, we were that couple. Typically, if I wasn't literally on his lap, I'd be under his arm or pretty much pressed up beside him somehow-and vice versa. Watching TV? Someone's head would be in the other's lap, someone's hands would be in the other's hair, or rubbing their arm or belly.

I remember the first time Guy A and I went on a cute lunch date, before we officially got together. Everyone was pointing and giggling at us because it was sooooo obvious we both couldn't keep our hands off each other at all. 😂

To this day, neither his parents nor mine can believe we didn't get married. We probably should have, tbh. Lol.

Negative 1H Mars Synastry:

Guy B: Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon & Rising, Aries Venus.

I also have my Mars in his 1H. (His moon is in my 1H).

Mars in 1st synastry in one-sided connections is the absolute worst because one of you is madly (VERY madly) in lust confused for love, and the other is perpetually annoyed but attached to the adrenaline rush from all the static, especially if life isn't otherwise exciting at the time.

Guy B was long-term frenemy who I did NOT like romantically and barely liked platonically. We met on a dating site and the conversation was great but from the 1st date in person, I was instantly turned off. All his mannerisms annoyed me, I wasn't attracted to him, and I didn't want him to touch me at all. My reflex was to pull away when he tried. He was extremely attracted to me for some reason despite this, and never let it go. Not even years later. He begged to stay friends when I declined a 2nd date and I was too nice back then so I reluctantly agreed.

Every time he touched me, I wanted to backflip into a volcano. A simple hug made me irrationally angry if he tried to linger half a second too long. It didn't help that he'd always complain about me giving "church hugs."

And before the men start carrying on about how he must have been short, yada yada yada... no, lol he's 6' 5" and fairly good-looking. Just didn't like him then and still don't now.

Our dynamic was always very aggressive, especially from my end. Even our mutual friends noticed that I seemed like a different person specifically around him and not in a good way. I was verbally combative and physically tense around him, even my voice sounded less soft and I was extremely sarcastic. I don't know if he's into girls who are normally like that or if his Aries Venus just liked the challenge, but that annoyed me even more. My dad met him once and immediately acted like he wasn't even there and my mom was like "Yeah, no, don't ever date each other because one of you won't make it out of that alive, it's very obvious."

She's definitely not wrong, our entire "friendship" was a strange anomaly defined around me being perpetually annoyed that he existed but also finding entertainment in all the toxicity and him pretending not to notice that Id happily sell him to the devil for a bag of chips and continuously convincing himself that I secretly liked him.

I told him multiple times he was free to react like a normal human being and not talk to me and his response was, "Eh, I know but somehow even though I hate arguing, I don't really mind arguing with you. Like I hate it but at the same time, it's you. I'm used to it now."

Idk to say about that but yeah, there you have it folks. The moral of the story is: there are always two sides to a coin 😂

Synastry is something that can go two (if not more) ways. No placement or aspect is ever guaranteed to be positive or negative, though some skew one way or the other. If they were, we could all find our perfect matches just by picking birth charts out of a jar and studying them. Be mindful and listen to what your heart and gut tell you and then use your head.

All that being said though, can I talk about 7H Mars synastry for a sec? GOSH I LOVE when someone's Mars is in my 7H.

Mars in 7H Synastry (Positive)

Guy C: Aries Sun, Scorpio Moon, Scorpio Rising, Aries Venus

He has Capricorn Mars in my 7H and my gawd. So intentional. This was eons ago. Technically my second boyfriend, but this was the first serious boyfriend who I had all my first times with. The moment my very own McSteamy decided he wanted to date me, there was no long drawn out "should I, shouldn't I, she loves me, she loves me not" - none of that wishy-washy shit. He strolled right up to me and said, "Look, you're allowed to say yes, no, or "get lost, fool" -whatever you want. And I know this may seem a bit soon, and to be honest when I first met you, I didn't know what to think, you kinda seemed like a miss-goody-two-shoes type. But getting to know you for a couple months? I realize you're actually quite a rebel and adventurous like me, but also smart and know how to lay low and play a character when you need to. Anyway, I'd really like to kiss you, but I'm gonna ask you to be my girlfriend first, so let me know."

Well, hell I said yes before he was even done talking and he picked me right up and kissed me against the wall. That was my first kiss too, and a great memory. I love direct people who know what they want, aren't scared to take a risk and are comfortable taking the lead, especially when it's a relationship. That's a Capricorn Mars right there. With Capricorn moon in my 7H that was literally like hitting the jackpot- except I was so young. He was 8 years older than me and ready to settle down. I was just about to fly the nest and see the world and he was kind enough to realize this and not hold me back when I decided to leave.

I will say this placement is excellent if you're sure about wanting a family, kids, and the whole white picket fence thing. I made the right choice as I'm still childfree by choice now and would rather live a semi-nomadic life, working and traveling the world with someone who is the same kind of crazy as me.

I'm not sure if I've experienced any negative Mars 7H house synastry. There are so people I've connected with whose birthdays I've either forgotten or didn't ask for, so I don't have their charts. Of the charts I do have, Guy C is the only one I have this aspect with. I haven't quite felt the same 100% confident, 'all-in' relationship energy from anyone else.

I am curious about how the negative side of this would go, so if any of you have had bad experiences with Mars 7H synastry and want to share, let's meet in the comments 😹

[sillygoofyqueer]

Either before or after would be delightful, though I was thinking it was after Bing-ge became emperor.

I was imagining the situation with Shen Yuan being a transmigrator forced to steal stuff from Bing-ge because that was his character’s original role in the plot. He wants to be inconspicuous about it so as not to get murdered (like canon… also murder of crows, lol) but shiny qi rich things are just too tempting!!! Stupid crow brain won’t let him steal things that are less obvious. ;_;

And yay! You know about the crow tendency to make friends with people then be “helpful” with gifts or savage in their defense. That’s why I like crow-Shen Yuan so much. I can totally see him getting help from his full-crow demon family members (or regular crows if he can control them like ZZL can snakes) to harass assholes by dropping rocks, pooping on them and such while in their full crow forms. 😂

He absolutely feels bad about stealing stuff from people he likes (especially Bing-ge) so of course he always offers payments in exchange. Rare plants, animal parts, non-shiny artifacts, etc. all suspiciously selected to be super useful in upcoming plot events, to Bing-ge’s bafflement. Probably doesn’t help the obsession. How TF does this thief know what he’s going to need soon???

AAAGGGHHHH, THIS IS SO FUN!! I love this idea that Shen Yuan either has like, demon family members that he can relax with (oh em gosh, seeing his original family in these demons?) or just hangs out with like, a murder of crows and is like "aight, get these fuckers" and they just swarm whoever irritated him that day. He definitely has a nest in a mountain somewhere, just filled with these shiny things that he steals from people, and oh my god can he just be like a safe haven for other crows (demon or otherwise) and have little perches that he makes for them and helps the ones that are too injured to hunt for themselves. He's like a master of crows and (despite being just a thorn in the side of the demon emperor) he is known to be terrifying lest these crows get hurt (I'm picturing half human Shen Yuan standing in the shadows of a forest with wings outstretched and just staring down at the culprit) BACK TO BING-GE, I'd find it really funny if Shen Yuan first steals shiny and qi rich things that are small and he can just take in full crow form because they aren't really heavy, leaving Bing-ge like "no fucking way a literal crow has been stealing from me. This feels humiliating what the hell". Later on, he sets a trap for Shen Yuan to steal this big trinket (a statue or something that radiates qi) because he knows it would be too heavy for the crow to take and he can grab it! He waits, then watches as Shen Yuan observes the statue a little bit, before shifting into his half-crow form and just scooping it up into his arms, scowling at the weight before flying out again. Bing-ge is sat there for a while like "what the fuck just happened" and then he watches as Shen Yuan returns a few minutes later with a herb that is supposed to be extremely useful for a poison or something, drops it where the statue was, and darts away again. After that, it's like the only thing on Bing-ge's mind is "how can I get this pretty demon to come back?" and he doesn't even think about his harem (if he has one in this), leaving them all around his palace absolutely confused and questioning what has happened to their emperor. {part two! Part one, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven!!}

[simpingforheros]

Lover Man

Pairing: Roy Harper X Single Mom! Female! Reader

Summary: Roy Harper gave up on love after his relationship with Cheshire never went anywhere other than creating his bundle of joy that was Lian Harper. That was until she came knocking on his door.

Warnings: 18+, Minors Do Not Interact, Female Reader/Female Pronouns/ Female Anatomy, Fluff eventually turning into Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Close Proximity, Mentions of Drug Addiction, Implied Abuse, Heavy Make-Out Session, Dry Humping, Implied Breeding Kink, Roy Harper being our Gentle King ((only this time)).

A/N: Soooo I had another Roy fanfic written completely in the drafts…and I hated it 💀. So I rewrote it and here it is. It’s a wee bit longer than my normal fanfics and I wanted to add more fluff and more descriptive detail instead of just smut. Please leave me some comments if you like this or if you don’t lol. Thank you.

A/N: I got my own ginger so it makes me wanna write about my second favorite ginger since I hardly see writing for him outside of him being a throuple with Jason. Roy Harper is just as hot as Jason because man’s literally got himself out of a bad place just for his daughter 😭🥹. Our responsibility king. Also Lian is aged up to 7 years old in this.

Dividers >>>> @cafekitsune

Roy Harper was a hardworking man. He slaves over his small mercenary missions with the occasional events of saving the city in the mix of raising a 4 foot ball of energy all on his own. He felt exhausted most the time, but that exhaustion keeps him out of trouble. It also gets him out of any venture for a personal life.

Sure, Roy had the Outlaws who would swing by after missions just to hangout and drink, and the Titans make a rare appearance to visit their favorite niece. Even Ollie and Dinah would occasionally come by to visit. But, after Jade came and left him high and dry, his heart was hollow…

Lian was his whole world and stars. He never thought he could love someone as much as he loved his little girl. He dragged himself out of his drug addiction just so he can take care of her, and she should be enough to make the backbreaking labor enough.

However, he notices how the doodled Mother’s Day cards that used to litter the fridge for Jade began to dwindle as her eyes began to look longingly at the other parents who had two parents and a pair or two of siblings. Lian says she’s happy to live with her Dad, who was her bestest friend in the world, but the occasional crayon drawings say otherwise.

The stick figures of Lian and Roy with a faceless woman and another stick figure child making it very clear that Lian wanted a mother figure, or at least a sibling.

Maybe one day Roy can give it to her…but right now he was too tired.

“What do you mean you forgot??” Roy yells into the phone as he speed walks back to his apartment complex.

He should have known better than to ask Garfield to wait at his apartment for Lian to come home and babysit for a couple of hours while he went grocery shopping. This week has been hell on him. He’s been dealing with some of Black Mask’s crew trying to expand to Star City and when he would try to get some sleep, the noise of some new neighbors moving in woke him up constantly. This was really his only chance to go do anything and Beast Boy forgot to come.

“I asked you to do one thing, Gar! Be here and watch Lian until I got back. How can forget to watch a 7 year old girl?” Roy seethes as he walks into the main lobby and bolting up the stairs.

His heart was pounding with all the possible scenarios. He knows he’s overreacting, that she was just probably sitting by the locked door either entertaining herself or crying. But he also couldn’t help but be paranoid that she strayed off to go find him or someone snatched her up.

His worst fear coming to reality as he walks onto his floor and sees no one. He quickly gets to his door and jiggles the nob, feeling the secured lock.

Just as Roy was about to scream at Garfield again to relieve the unrelenting anxiety, the sound of a door opening behind him catches his attention as a familiar ring fills the static.

“Daddy!” Lian yells as Roy turns around, relief filling his body as he kneels down to greet the girl.

“Oh fuck, you scared me.” He says, as he sighs in relief. His strong arms holding the small girl tight to his chest.

“I’m sorry,” the girl mumbles with sympathy pooling in her dark eyes. “I was walking Wren and she wanted me to see her new room.”

‘Wren? Who’s Wren?’ Roy thought as he quirks his eyebrow just as movement catches his eyes again to the door.

Another little girl was standing in the door way to the apartment. She looked the same age as Lian with colorful ribbons in her hair and the matching Star Academy uniform on as Lian.

‘Another Star Academy student? There isn’t any other student living here…’

Then the realization that this was one of the new neighbors hits him as a taller figure appears behind Wren. Her voice throwing Roy in a trance as she scolds the girl.

“Wren, I told you to not stare. Especially at strangers.” Her voice gently but protective as she kept her eyes on Roy. Her hand already on her daughter’s shoulder as her daughter apologizes.

“I’m sorry, Mama. I wanted to see Lian’s Dad and see if I can come over…”

The woman was the same age as him from what he can tell. Healthy, glowing skin despite the dark bags under her eyes. Her hair glowed like a halo in the fluorescent light of the hallway despite the messy frizz of what he thought used to be a protective hairstyle that her work day destroyed. Her boxy scrubs doing noting to hide her figure as the familiar logo of Star City General Hospital shined brightly.

“Dad.” Lian’s inpatient voice cuts through his daze as he looks to his daughter.

“Huh?” He says as his daughter giggles.

“I said, can I show Wren my room? I wanna show her all my Bluey toys.” She says excitedly.

His eyes briefly flickering over to the other excited little girl before stating gently, “I have no problem with it, but did you ask Wren’s mom if she can.”

“Yea! Miss (L/N) said it was alright.” She says happily.

‘Miss? I guess she’s not married…’ he thought as he handed Lian his keys with a joking quip, “Don’r throw a party while I’m over here talking to Miss (L/N).”

The girls giggle before running over to Roy’s apartment and entering. Roy stands up to his full height as he gives the mother a smile. She returns it with her own as she says,

“Normally Wren is pretty shy, so I was happy to see she made friends with a good kid.” She says as she pushes some stray hair out of her face before offering him her hand. “I’m (Y/N) by the way.”

“Roy. Roy Harper.” He introduces himself as he shakes her hand. He couldn’t help but smile brighter as they pulled their hands away, proud that his daughter helped out a new kid.

“Lian doesn’t have much of a shy side to her. I blame it on her mom’s genetics.” He jokes with a soft chuckle.

“You and your wife must be proud.” She says softly as she props her hip against the doorframe.

“Oh no, I’m not married.” He corrects her as he nervously stuffs his hands in his pocket as he felt a pang of gloom over his heart. “It’s just me and Lian.”

Her eyes dropped as she crosses her arms over her chest as she mumbles, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to assume…”

“No, youre alright.” He assures her with a shrug. “Honestly, I should be apologizing for your first impression of me being my kid locked out of my apartment.”

She giggles as she waves him off as she says, “Lian told me that her normal babysitters weren’t in town and that ‘Uncle Gar’ was suppose to be here.”

“Yeaaa.” He groans as he defends himself. “I promise that i’m normally on top of the babysitting situation since I normally work nights.”

She nods as she says, “I understand. I have to find my own babysitter now that I moved across the country. I work days at the hospital.”

The idea seeming to strike them at the same time as both their little girls scream in delight as they play in the apartment over.

A compromise between two single parents.

The deal was easy and benefited both of them. Since she had to work 12 hour shifts on a 3 on, two off basis, (Y/N) would drop the girls off at school on her way to work, and Roy adjusted his “work” time so he can be home when they come home from school and babysit until Wren’s mom gets off from work.

When (Y/N) was off and Roy is working, She will keep both girls at her apartment and gets them ready for school in the mornings before they tag off.

During the rare occurrence that Roy had to go away on a “business trip”, the girls would just be with (Y/N) full time with Roy’s promise that it will only be a week and he will watch them when the weekend comes so she can rest.

This has been the routine for three months, and Roy enjoyed it more than he should. It felt great knowing that Lian was in capable, non vigilante hands when he was away and she had a female role model to who doesn’t fight crime in spandex.

Roy also adored Wren. She took a minute to break out of her shell, but she reminded him a lot of Jason. A quiet type who surprised him with her temper and mischief. He can see why (Y/N) is the kind of parent she is and how she easily keeps Wren and Lian in line.

Over the weeks, Wren and Lian became the dynamic duo of Star Academy. They did everything together and would cry if they couldn’t. The two even begged their respective parents for matching Bluey backpacks and sparkly shoes so they can match all the time. They even developed a cute habit of leaving colored drawings under the apartment doors for the other to find. The friendship was very heart warming and helped form the bond between their parents.

The two had a lot in common too. More than they expected.

“Wanna beer?” Roy offered as he stood up from the couch.

“No thank you.” She answers as she focuses on wrapping the present infront of her.

Tomorrow was Wren’s birthday, and while the girls are having a sleep over in Lian’s room, Roy and (Y/N) prepped for her birthday party.

“You sure, doll?” He says as he grabs a couple beers. He sits beside her and holds his open bottle near her as he jokes. “You gonna let me drink alone, and make me look depressed?”

Her eyes darken as she scoots away from him. The air turning cold as she snaps on him. “I said No, Roy.”

Roy immediately freezes before frowning in concern. He puts the beer on the coffee table as he whispers to her. “Hey, I’m sorry…”

Her eyes relax as her shoulders slump. She sighs softly as she mumbles. “No, I’m sorry…”

She reaches into her pocket a pulls out a familiar looking token and hands it to him. A 5 year sobriety coin. His brows shoot up as he looks at her in shock.

She giggles somberly as she says, “it’s not mine. It’s my Dad’s.”

She pulls her knees to her chest as she looks to the wall around the muted tv. Pictures lining the wall of Lian and Roy with some of just them or with friends. She smiles softly as she recounts.

“My dad was a bad alcoholic, but a good dad. He would take me with him everywhere he could and it would be like everyday was a good day. I was too young to realize he drank too much or he yelled at my mom a little too harshly.” She says as she picks at the material of her socked covered feet.

“It wasn’t until I got pregnant with Wren that he realized he had to sober up. He managed to stay clean for almost 6 years until a drunk driver hit him.” She chuckles sadly as she sees the irony in her dad’s death. “He even help me leave my ex who was also a bad drinker. I guess seeing my dad doing it my whole life, I thought it was normal…”

Her arms wrapping around herself before finally looking back at Roy. Her eyes meeting his green ones, her gaze watery as she wipes the tears away.

“I’m sorry, that was too much to put on you..” she said as her voice wavers a bit. “You can drink though I don’t-“

Roy gets up and takes his beers to the kitchen. Confused by his abruptness, she follows him, only to see him dumping out his open beer and starting to dump out the other one. She looks at him confused as he finishes dumping the liquid out before he pulls out his wallet and pulls out a coin.

He hands both coins to her as she reads the one he pulled out of his wallet. 7 years sobriety.

“You were…?” She mumbles is disbelief before he answers.

“Yep, former heroine addict…” he says as he leans back against the counter. His arms flexing as he crosses his arms over his chest. His eyes shining with seriousness as he says,

“I understand why your dad got help. I did the same thing when I found out about Lian, and I don’t ever wanna do anything that can jeopardize giving her a better life than I had…”

An emotion crosses his face that makes her nervous but excited as he admits.

“And I don’t want to do anything that would drive you out of mine.”

“Please, (Y/N)!” Lian begs as Wren stands behind her with her puppy dog eyes shining behind her.

Those were the famous last words that were said when Lian and Wren convinced her to allow them to go to a slumber party while Roy was out of town. (Y/N) didn’t see the harm since it was Friday night and the girls had been good. Besides, Roy was supposed to be home late tonight so he can enjoy his Saturday morning resting.

It was a good idea. Or at least that’s what she thought before she got mugged on her way home from dropping off the girls.

The woman didn’t see it coming when she was snatched off the street and pinned to an alley wall as a disgust voice coos at her.

“Easy, Babygirl.” The masked man purrs as his dirty finger nails digged into her arms. “Just give me your purse and we can both walk away happy.”

“Fuck off!” She says as she tries to yank away from him .

“Now don’t be such a-!” His growl interrupted as the swoop of air shoots between them. She looks to where it lands and sees a red arrow buried into the wall behind them. The mugger was the first to look back to where it came from before gasping,

“Arsenal? What’s he doing here?” He curses as he pulls (Y/N) in front of him, making the struggling woman a human shield. “I’m armed, and I’m not afraid to hurt the bitch!” He says as he pulls out a knife and holds it to her neck.

(Y/N) only heard about the vigilante through the news. Apparently he used to be Green Arrow’s sidekick before he went solo for some reason and he was a rough guy. He works with the Red Hood who was known for killing criminals so she understood why the man was scared as a figure dropped down from a rooftop with his bow ready to shoot.

Her panic setting in as the bite of the blade was pressed hard to her neck, the anxious blade knicking her. Her panic eyes were set on the archer as she watches him slowly approach.

He looked…familiar. His height and built was impressive despite him being more on the leaner side and his features not obstructed by his sunglasses and hat reminded her of Roy…

“Let the girl go.” Arsenal warns the burglar. His voice was deep, but it didn’t sound natural. It was like he was trying to make his voice sound different. “You’re just pissing me off more and I’m gonna end up breaking your eye socket in.”

The criminal trembles before deciding the best escape plan. He grabs ahold of her purse before throwing her in Arsenal’s direction. Unprepared to the violent shove, (Y/N) falls to the ground before the vigilante can catch her. Her yelp filling space as the hero kneels down beside her to make sure she wasn’t stabbed.

“Hey, you alright?” He says as he scans her body for any serious injury.

She pushes herself up, cringes as her wrist throbs. His large gloved hands on her back and shoulder as he helps her stand when she notices his exposed arm. A familiar faded green tattoo visible on his bicep as the pieces fall together.

“Roy?…” She asks as she looks up Arsenal. Despite his eyes being covered, she can tell he was looking at her in a panic that she figured him out.

“Yea…” He confirms before looking behind her as he realizes the motherfucker stole her purse. He pulls his aviators down to the bridge of his nose, his eyes shining in concern as he mumbles to her.

“Go home. I’ll meet you there so we can talk about it.”

The look in his eyes and the pounding adrenaline makes her fear melt away as she nods her head.

“Okay.”

The throbbing pain in her wrist didn’t stop when she finally made it back to her apartment building, acting as her anchor as the revelation that Roy’s secret night job was him being a Robin Hood copycat.

Thinking back on it, she should have figured he wasn’t a normal guy. Constant bruises, noticeable limps, and stolen ibuprofen were a routine in their life.

The thought made her stop for a second in the stair way.

Their life. The one they shared for months basically together. At first it was just two single parents helping each other out while their daughters bonded. Then her and Roy began to get close, close enough to where they were constant in each other’s apartments as the other child was.

Now he saved her life…maybe he already did that the first day in the city and she babysat a kid she didn’t know…

As she reaches the arch way between the two apartments, her hands searches her pockets for her keys when disappointment answers her.

The keys were in her purse.

With a sigh, she decides to sit on the ground besides Roy’s door as she waits. (Y/N) curls herself into a ball with her knees to her chest as she felt the familiar feeling of exhaustion nipping her eyelashes.

(Y/N) was a hard working woman. When she wasn’t working herself like a dog in the Emergency Room, she was handling a 4 foot ball of attitude. She didn’t have time for any ventures outside of that. She loves Wren with all her heart, but that doesn’t help the hollow part of her heart from throbbing…maybe someday she can give Wren a father who’s worth something. But right now, she was too damn tired.

The door opens behind her as she jumps awake. The woman didn’t even realize she almost fell asleep, but a warm hand opens in front of her as she looks up.

Roy was standing in front of her now. A grey zip up was pulled over his shoulders to cover his costume as her purse hanged on his arm. His soft smile made her stomach flutter as he breaks the silence.

“I guess I got some explaining to do…”

She doesn’t respond right away. Instead she gives him her hand and stands up with his help. Her injured wrist cradled to her chest as they enter the apartment. The movement still felt natural despite the circumstances. Roy didn’t even have to ask about her arm to know she needed first aid on her wrist.

He tended to her sprained wrist as he tells her his life story. She already knew about the general events of his childhood and his life with Oliver Queen, but didn’t know he was a sidekick turned mercenary. The whole story made her head spin as she thought about the man tending to her as a boy wearing yellow and red spandex and managing to attract a female assassin who was Lian’s actual mother…

“So…” Roy says as he expects some sort of reaction out of her.

“So… You are a vigilante…Ollie and Dinah are too.” She recounts as she rubs her bandaged wrists. “And your ex is an assassin…”

(Y/N) sighs before looking at the nervous ginger fidgeting in his seat. His nerves were haywire.

‘What if she leaves?’

‘What if she doesn’t want anything to do with me or Lian anymore?”

‘Is she gonna keep Wren from Lian and Me?’

“Okay”

The phrase makes Roy’s neck snap was he blinks wildly at her. His heart pounding as he scans her completely calm face with a soft smile on her face as she giggles at his baffled expression.

“Okay? That’s all you gotta say?”

“I mean sure I’m not a fan of the whole putting yourself in danger shtick, but if that’s the only downside to you, then I’m okay with it.” She says calmly before giving him a serious glare. “Just as long as the girls are never endangered.”

Roy couldn’t help but fall out of his chair and on his knees infront of her as he laughs. His hands pulling her into his lap as he enjoys the chill of relief as his body yearns for the reassurance of her touch. It wasn’t until he cupped her face that he realized just how intimate their position was.

Definitely not something friends should be doing….

But are they just friends?

“Roy…” She mumbles. Her eyes speaking to his soul as the exhaustion and months of connecting and yearning reach the apex. Or maybe it was the reflection of his own feelings bubbling up as he moves her hair away from her face.

“I promise I’ll never let anything happen to you or our girls…I can’t afford to lose them…or us.”

The first move wasn’t clear. The blur of teeth and tongue distracting him as their hands held the pair close. His hands adjusting her to straddle his lap as hers ran through his hair and over his strong shoulders. His mouth trailing down her jawline and caresses her throat as her hips began to grind into his.

“Aw, poor thing…” Roy coos as his hips rolled to meet hers. His eyes shining with adoration as he marks her smooth skin. “How long has it been since anyone took care of you?”

She rolls her eyes at his teasing before pulling his head back by his hair. “When was the last time you got took care of, Red?”

He glares playfully with a smirk as he says, “Don’t call me Red.”

She giggles as she presses a soft kiss to his cheek before trailing along his jawline. Her breath burning his soul as she whispers, “Then how about…baby?”

He rips her back away by her nape before crashing his lips onto hers. The desperation dewing the walls around them as their soft moans and movement of clothes made their company.

His hands hungry as he finally pulls away from her long enough to push off her sweatshirt. A groan of appreciation fills the space as he admires her body. Every visible scar, freckle, mole, stretch mark, and roll made him want to explore every story that lead her to his arms. But that’s for another time.

His mouth watered as he looks back up at her.

“So pretty, Ma…”

His prayer is followed by his mouth devouring her skin as he kisses her collarbone. Her feathery moans filling the space while his hands caresses her exposed torso. He trails down to the valley of her breasts before pushing the offending bra up so they spill out. Roy couldn’t resist kissing around her sensitive skin, teasing her as her hands tangle in the mess of ginger on his head.

“Baby please…” she whines as her hips roll impulsively on his.

Her underwear was impossibly uncomfortable. Her body burning like iron as her intimate parts tried to cool down. The friction of her jean covered core against the rough tackle gear of his suit did not help as his hand began to grope her other breast.

His chuckle vibrates against the globe of fat as his fingers pinch the stiffening nub.

“Can’t wait to get me in bed? My, you certainly are a romantic.”

Before she can shoot back at him, he withdraws completely from her chest and his hands roughly cup her thighs. In a swift motion, Roy picks her up as he stands up from the floor. The pair share a soft laugh as her brief shock and his amusement leads them to his bedroom.

Once he places her on the bed, (Y/N) sheds off her sweatshirt and bra as Roy whistles in appreciation.

“I love when you strip for me.” He jokes as lust clouded his vision. “Can you do that again but slower?”

She glares at him as she leans back onto her hands as she tilts her head. Mischief fills her eyes as she examines him up and down with her lip between her teeth.

“Then how about you put a show on for me since you want one?” She teases.

His smirk widens as he decides to follow her suggestion. Roy rolls his shoulders back before reaching to slowly unzip the jacket covering his suit. Making a show of pulling it off his arms before twirling it over his head and tossing it.

Laughing follows his movements as he slowly strips off his gear as her hungry and amused eyes followed every rolling muscle exposed to her.

“Damn…” She whispers as a nearly nude Roy begins to crawl on the bed towards her. His prominent bones straining against his boxers as she continues. “And I wondered why you didn’t have a girlfriend…”

He laughs as he cages her in his arms. His ginger hair acting as a curtain over his forehead as he shrugs above her. “Maybe I was waiting on the right one.”

Their lips meet again as their hands began to map out each other. Soon all the rest of the clothes joined the floor.

His erection bobbing between them as his eyes remains trained on hers. His fingers trailing down to her exposed sex, groaning as he runs a finger between her folds.

“Already wet? And without foreplay?” He asks as faux sympathy plays on his face. “My darling clearly neglected that she gets wet from a few kisses…”

“I’m not neglected…” She protests before she whimpers as the bite from his finger entering her unused cunt hits her.

“I wasn’t talking body you directly, baby.” He corrects as his finger thrusts softly along her fleshy walls. The lewd sounds of her moans mixed with her wet sex made him melt as she begs,

“Fuck…quit teasing already, you bastard…”

He decides to oblige by adding another finger to speed up his pace. The thumb on the other hand joining the fun as it rubbed patterns into her puffy clit.

“I got get you all nice and ready..” Roy mumbles as he leans down to press soft kisses on her stomach up to her breasts. The mixture of gentle pecks mixed with the harsh stimulation below driving his lover insane as her hips arched to meet his hands.

“You deserve all that I can give for being such a good mom .” He praises her as he feels her walls clench around his knuckles when he finds the spongy mass he was searching for.

He contradicts himself by abusing that with archer like precision as the coil roughly tightens in her gut. (Y/N)’s gasps and cries desperate for the climax as she grips the hard flesh of his back. Just as she was reaching the peak, he stops.

“Asshole!” She curses at him as he pulls out of her. He chuckles before licking the tip of his soiled finger. Her eyes burning onto his mouth as he groans at the taste.

“Sweet as I thought..” he praises as he uses the hand to pump his cock. He climbs on top of her as he continues. “I’m gonna have to have a better taste next time, but I need you too bad right now…”

She calms her raging breaths as she smiles softly. “Next time?”

Roy pulls her legs up to her chest as he hooks her ankles on his shoulders. His red hot tip played with her clit as he rubs it through her soaked folds. He chuckles at her hopeful voice as he leans down to press a soft peck to her lips.

“Of course,” Roy whispers as his tip catches the entrance. “I don’t think I can go back to being friends after this..”

He slowly pushes into her as her hands shoot onto him as best she could. With her legs pinned to her chest, she can only grasp his bicep and his lower back as she is forced to endure the painful stretch of her neglected cunt welcoming him.

A groan ripping in his throat as he finally seats himself fully into her before peppering kisses on her face.

“Was gonna ask you out on a nice date without the kids around…gonna see if we would be a good fit.” He mutters as his mind seems to run on blanks. His hips rolling to gain some friction in the tight confines of her walls.

Her little breathless moans encouraging him as Roy begins to thrust shallowly to work her open before he pulls out almost completely. He slams back into her befor continuing his non coherent comment.

“But fuck…I don’t regret this. God, if I knew you would look so fucking hot in my bed…” He groans as his head dips to bite along her neck. “And your pussy is so tight…It’s driving me crazy. I wonder how a sweet thing like you could like me…”

His cock messaging all the right nerves in her as (Y/N)’s nails clawed into him. Her moans turning to incoherent shrieks as his tip abuses her spot, remembering exactly where it was when he found it earlier. Her guts twisting at both the words and his abusing pace. The denied orgasm from earlier building back up as her desperation grew wilder.

“God, Roy…So full…so good.”

Fuck she looked pretty. Her lips wet with tears and sip as she cries. Her eyes blown out in addictive lust and watery tears. Roy couldn’t help but cup her jaw in his hand and kisses her. The now familiar taste of mint and nicotine making her more addicted as his tongue claimed every inch of hers. He pulls away as his groans start matching her whines as his hand snakes between them to rub her clit.

“Honey, I may have to fuck a baby into you…” He mumbles as he buries his face in her neck. Her walls responding in a vice grip as he roughens his pace to meet their impending climax. “You like that, pretty girl? Want me to knock you up and give Wren and Lian a little sibling? Give you a nice big family with a white picket fence? God, you’re such a sweet thing that I wouldn’t mind keeping you as my pretty little girlfriend…”

“Roy!” She whines as her body shakes. Her walls closing in on him as she finally reaches her peak. Her eyes rolling back as stars cross her vision before Roy slams into her one more time as his hot cum fills her welcoming womb.

The pair remain still for a moment as soft pecks were exchange. Roy gently pulls out before he helps his love stretch back out. His hands massaging her thighs before grabbing his abandoned jacket to wipe her thighs and himself clean.

“You wanna go out tomorrow?” Her cracked voice catching the archer off guard before he smiles.

“With or without children?”

“Without. They are at a sleep over and gonna go to the zoo tomorrow with their friends.”

“Then it’s a date.”

A/N: Okay I didn’t know how to end this because Ngl I was tired on working on this tbh. I hope y’all enjoyed reading this and let me know what you think. Comments and reblogs are encouraged.

@simpingforheros fanfic. I DO NOT CONDONE MY WORKS TO BE STOLEN, PLAGIARIZED, COPIED, REPOSTED, OR TRANSFERRED ONTO OTHER BLOGS, ACCOUNTS, AND WEBSITES.

[allastoredeer]

Hello I had this dream last night and I need to share it with you!!!

We know the whole crew is invited to the Cannibal Cookout for the weekend.

So I imagine Al is gonna let cameras take pictures of him and Lucifer, that way the headline of his relationship with the king of hell will reach the seven pentagram faster(it was showed that he can take pictures when he wants to, since vox kept one). But that also mean he is gonna be exposed for the first time in probably forever. Like he is known for his terrifying radio podcast, which means that not many ppl know about his true form, especially new born sinners. So I can only imagine the surprise of those people to see the radio demon , the scariest overlord of them all, being a cute deer with a a fluffy tail and all the package that comes with it. Also Alastor mentioned to Lucy to ‘Wear your Sunday best.”, which might imply that he is gonna wear something nice as well…

It would be hilarious if Half of hell will start simping for Alastor and downright ignoring Lucifer.

I can imagine the internet exploding with Alastor pictures and people going like 'aww his ears are moving’ or something, sinners go as far as make fan club about him, meanwhile a certain picture box is having a mental breakdown…

~Valentino: “u know u can just say it that u want him”

~Vox: “Alright alright fuck yea I do and so Does half of hell. God damn it”

Meanwhile Angel reading through the chaos Alastor just unleashed

“oh he is so stealing my job already”

Lmao

OFC In all of this Al is completely oblivious about the situation he caused, so the crew tries to keep him out the flow, to not freak him out, which it’s not hard at all, since the dude doesn’t have a phone, but he does get a bit suspicious when Lucifer makes him wear something to cover his upper body, almost as far as making him wear an hat and glasses lol(I don’t see Lucifer as being who enjoys losing himself on new trends and gossip on the internet, so Angel probably showed him a innocent picture of them, but Lucy made the bad choice to go read through the comments. Nonetheless to say he was scarred for life, and decided to take it upon himself to protect Alastor’s privacy)

Also Alastor can probably sense when someone takes pictures of him, twitching his eyes and tail but otherwise leaves it be for the sake of maintaining the charade.

This was it ehehe, I kinda felt bad I woke up from that dream, I honestly wanted to know how it ended.

Either way I can’t wait to see how u are planning to go with it. Cause I just know u are gonna make me love every second of it😆👌

thank you for listening

Ps I wrote this at 5 in the morning a week ago, and I am not sure if I already sent it to u or my mind is playing tricks to me…so I am sorry if u already got the message.

Heheheheh I love this! You have the BEST dreams. I'm so in love with most of Hell not knowing Alastor, or not really remembering what he looked like, since he's been gone (and Hell is expanding by the thousands every day, so of course there would be people who don't know him).

And so they see him for the first time and it's such a stark difference to what they were expecting XD He's developing a fan-base and Lucifer has to scare them all of (otherwise Alastor WILL murder. He will).

And no worries! I did get the ask from earlier! Sometimes, if it takes me a long time to get to an ask, that's because I want to draw some doodles for it like the pics above ^.^

[megzscribbleznwordz]

hihi!! dating hcs with the main metalocalypse guys plss?

Hell yeah dude! I love how different each of them are, it makes for some very interesting dynamics. I'm gonna put this one under a 'read more' because I kinda went off a bit lol

William Murderface

Murderface is definitely the type to be very tsundere. Like, kind of an asshole in an oddly endearing way to anybody he’s interested in. It takes a while of knowing the person he’s got a crush on before he feels comfortable enough to say something about it

He’s very insecure in most every relationship he has, be it platonic or otherwise. This leads to him being very emotionally closed off early into any relationship. 

Once Murderface is comfortable? Oh boy, they’re stuck with him. He’s only able to feel like his true, authentic self with his partner. He’s a big, touch-starved softie deep down (which he probably only discovers thanks to his partner)

It takes him probably years before he’s comfortable with being public and letting their relationship be known to the fans. Treat him with patience; he’s probably got the least relationship experience of the boys.

Nathan Explosion

Probably way stronger than his partner, which strikes a chord in his heart. Very protective of his love interest, be it still in the crushing phase or actively in a relationship.

He loves when his partner brushes his hair. A bit awkward about asking them to, but god does he just m e l t s whenever they do. 

One of the most common dates is a motorcycle ride. His partner’s arms wrapped securely around his chest, the wind in their hair as they cruise down the road, just him and them... He feels he has no better way to spend his time

Nathan is surprisingly tender with his lover, secretly being a bit of the traditional romantic at heart. Buying them flowers, cutely and awkwardly complimenting them, helping them with pretty much anything he can

Of the boys, he’s one of the first to tell the fans of his relationship. This is most likely to give his lover security in the relationship, not particularly having an opinion on the fan’s reaction to his relationship

Toki Wartooth

The sweetest boy ever! Definitely tells his lover about his crush on them very soon after he realizes it. He just... takes a while to realize it. Probably has to be told by one of the other’s that what he’s experiencing is a crush. 

The most down bad, down atrocious for his partner. Showering them in compliments, covering their face in kisses any chance he gets, suffocating them in hugs...

Loves planning dates so so much. Build-a-bear dates are very frequent, along with any sort of class or outing. He loves the kinds of dates where you do activities rather than just  go somewhere to be there

He’s a terrible shopper for gifts, but he’s fantastic at making things for his partner. Homemade birthday cards, jewelry, and even writing songs for them!

He’s one of the boys who introduces his partner to the fans first, too excited to contain himself for too long. Definitely happens by accident; he’s addressing the crowd at a show last night and opens with “Last night, when I was with my babies...”

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

Very flirty just as base; once he’s in a relationship that doesn’t change, he merely gets entirely focused in on his partner. He‘s very smudged if they’re easily flustered, showering them in compliments and flirtations as their cheeks grow redder and redder

He’s the type to take a long time to trust himself to be emotionally intimate with his partner. There’s a small part of him that believes his partner is only with him for his fame, and should that end so would his relationship. It takes a while to convince him out of this.

Once he’s comfortable and secure, he’s very casual with affection, commonly seen handing around with an arm draped lazily around his partner, pulling them into his lap or to rest against him

He’s very pensive and thoughtful, which leads to him being a very good gift giver. He tends to go for romantic items of use (perfume in a scent his lover likes, jewelry if they’re the type, clothes in their style and sizes.) when gifting.

It’s a fight between him and Murderface over who would take longer to tell the fans about their relationship—but with the number of groupies Skwis has, it’d probably be him first just to give his partner a bit more confidence in the relationship.

Pickles

Pickles never really saw himself as the type who’d end up in a relationship. Perhaps due to his tendency to grow irate easily, perhaps due to his reservations regarding his family and background. When he has a crush on someone,he does his best to control his temper if they’re around or could potentially hear of it

Once in a relationship, he commonly goes to his significant other when frustrated by this or that. He feels like they’re genuinely the only one who could understand and help him feel better; even something as simple as a tight hug helps ground him

When he grows more secure in the relationship, he gets a bit of a teasing streak. His favorite past times are poking at his partner, going in for hugs only to rub his goatee against his partner’s neck/cheek/shoulder

He loves when his partner plays with his hair, scratches his head, anything like that. He refuses to admit it until later in the relationship, his hair and balding being one of his more notable points of insecurity

He probably doesn’t make a huge deal of telling the fans about his partner, like if they find out they find out but a comfortable relationship with Pickles is a very relaxed, low-key one

[m1kad00]

How it would be like to be in a relationship with them (Cyberpunk 2077 Characters)

Characters included: Judy Álvarez, Young!Viktor Vektor, Muamar Reyes, Misty Olszewski

Reader: fem. reader for Judy, otherwise no pronouns mentioned :)

Judy Álvarez (fem. reader)

-Judy is a really REALLY good girlfriend

-literally the best romance option in the game

-she was probably a bit nervous to actually tell you she had feelings for you, because of her last relationships/crushes

-but after you assured her that you indeed loved her back she was over the moon!!

-date nights include going to her lake house and having a good time

-she wouldn't care for "fancy" dates, just you and her sitting on the roof of a house and just talking for hours

-she'd also invite you to go diving with her to show you her old hometown ("I'm picky about my girls" JAZGHDZABJSIGIB)

-Judy loves gifting you stuff and hanging out with you!

-she would gift you a BD she made of her favorite moments together (probably copied it too, because she also wanted to look at it

-she's a messy girl, won't put anything where it belongs

-but she's not lazy, she'll clean eventually (probably)

-she's the big spoon

Young!Viktor Vektor (gn reader)

-you first met him when you went to watch a boxing competition

-then you saw that GORGEOUS boxer with ENORMOUS talent

-he won the fight (pretty easily, even tho he doesn't even have any chrome)

-you went over to congratulate him and he was super friendly

-of course you went to his next competition, and to the one after that, and so on

-it got so bad (or good) that Vik was even expecting you

-he began to look forward to seeing you in the crowd

-it even felt like he was fighting just for your entertainment

-at some point he just asked you out, it was obvious you'd say yes

-you went on a few dates and eventually got together

-anyone from miles away could tell he was down BAD

-when he eventually got second place on one of his competitions he found the courage to tell you he'd stop boxing

-you were fine with it of course, it's his life after all

(Ripperdoc husband is better anyways lol)

Muamar Reyes (gn reader)

-let's be real, you were one of many

-he is a FINE man, had a lot of money and he was one of NC's well known fixers

-what more could a person want?

-he really thought he wasn't the one to settle down, until you entered his life

-normaly you wouldv'e just been another merc

-but there was something about you..

-he probably confessed to you, and you returned his feelings

-after you started dating you guys spent more and more time together

-you watching him fix cars, driving around NC or just chilling together at his place

-he's a cocky bastard, so you would have a few arguments over little simple things, but you would eventually forgive him because he's just an sarcastic ass most of the time

-but when you both are overlooking Santo Domingo, without anyone disturbing you two he'd eventually talk about his feelings and how much he loves you

-also he would tell you about his life growing up in Santo, becoming a corpo and then eventually turning into his now-self

-he also would like to have kids at some point, but if you don't want any he's also okay with that (he'd also be fine with adopting)

Misty Olszewski (gn reader)

-she's a super sweet girl!!

-she met you months after Jackies death

-Misty never would have thought she'd get over what happened to him

-but there you were, listening to her problems and taking things slowly

-so after a while, you two fell in love

-you guys could talk for hours on end about the most random things

-also random tarot-board dates and doing silly stuff!

-she'd also read your futures and would teach you to read hers

-she's SUCH an artsy girl (trust me)

-you two would upsycle thrifted chlothes and do random Trends, like the one where you make bracelets based on the others eye color or the Trend where you paint eachother

-she has a thing for plants and candles

-your shared apartment is FULL of them (also those Fragance sticks)

-it constantly smells like a perfume shop

-she's a cat person, you guys would have a black cat 100% (if they'd still exist)

[shadowqueenjude]

Didn't Rhys only kiss Feyre to protect her from Amarantha utm? I have only read the books once, so I could be wrong

OK so this is going to be a deep dive into all of Rhysand’s violations of Feyre specifically in book 1. Keep reading but be aware it’s long.

The first time Rhysand invades her mind is not even UTM but well before.

It is very clear that Feyre neither asked for it and enjoyed it, and before people say Rhysand was “playing a role,” this was completely unnecessary. He didn’t have to visit the Spring Court. Tamlin already thought he was the villain. And if Amarantha had ordered him to do so, he could’ve said some mean words to Tamlin and Lucien and been done with it. There is absolutely no reason to invade Feyre’s mind other than to delight in her terror.

Now let’s go to UTM.

Ok so basically if Feyre had given Rhysand her true name she would be dead at this point. And people argue “he was playing a role!” like…how? He could’ve just said her mind was like iron and impossible to penetrate. “Oh he was protecting her and knew she gave a false name!” no…he…didn’t? How tf would he know? And even if he somehow did know, he still gave that name to Amarantha knowing that it might be somebody close to Feyre and her family and got her ruthlessly tortured and killed.

Ok so why is he forcibly grabbing her arm and hurting her here? There’s no one here but them two. If Rhysand wanted to help Feyre, he could’ve revealed himself to Feyre here. Do you really think that Feyre would give away his double-agentry if it benefitted her? There. Was. No. Need. For. A. Fucking. Mask. HE LAUGHED.

Now another argument that I often see for twisting her arm is that it convinced her to agree to the healing that ultimately saved her life. But that is also wrong. Here it is pretty fucking obvious that Feyre was able to reason that for herself. Besides, it clearly wasn’t premeditated. He “lashed out,” meaning it was done in a moment of rage.

Also, he didn’t heal her out of the goodness of his heart or even to save himself from Amarantha. No, he wanted her, demanded her for two weeks out of every month. Why? To spite Tamlin, probably. He is OBSESSED with Tamlin. Look that in comparison to Lucien.

There was no reason to add that second screenshot that’s just me fangirling over Lucien (again). But the point is he healed her without asking for anything. Maybe you could argue he did for Tamlin, for himself, for Prythian, but he’s still miles ahead of Rhysand sooooooo… Ok the worst part...

Do you know what this means? That means the situation with the kiss only happened because RHYSAND sexually harassed Feyre by forcing her to wear extremely revealing clothes and coating her in this magic body paint. Otherwise how tf would Amarantha know that they kissed?????

Also Rhysand calling her his “belongings.” Uhhhhhh so what is that about hm?

“He was doing it to perform for Amarantha” bro not even Amarantha liked it💀💀💀 This was for him and him alone. He gained some sick pleasure from this.

Wow he's so bad at his role...Amarantha is sus

Now is this or is this not Rhysand invading Feyre’s mind and forcing her to drink the wine? Drug induced sexual assault.

My pookie bear Lulu checking on Feyre after she was SAed🥺👉👈

Ok anyway this is so unserious LOL. It’s so fucking obvious that SJM hastily went and edited this part when she decided that she wanted Rhysand to be endgame instead of Tamlin because she wanted it known that “Rhysand only touched her waist uwu!” Even if that was true, idc. He still violated her in countless ways.

If you want a plausible canon explanation, well Rhysand probably decided to manipulate her memory so that he said that it would smear if anybody touched it, including himself. Probably bc he realized it would be useful to have her on his side rather than otherwise (but he still wanted to have fun with her). Which offers the even more sinister idea that somebody besides Rhysand also touched her…

Also dude, why do you wanna rile Tamlin up so bad? Gay.

The fact that the sexual assault was supposed to be a clear contrast to the joy she felt with Tamlin and then SJM retconned it all and made it into a repetitive sexy moment in later books pisses me off.

LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY LULU BABY

THE FACT THAT HE RISKED HIS LIFE FOR FEYRE AND GOT BEATEN FOR IT AND COULDN’T WALK FOR DAYS AND THEN AS SOON AS HE CAN EVEN THOUGH HE’S IN SO MUCH PAIN HE CRAWLS TO FEYRE’S CELL, STEALS A COAT FROM A GUARD TO GIVE TO HER, AND COMFORTS HER AFTER HER SEXUAL ASSAULT IS JUST SOOOOO AHHHHH HE’S MY LOYAL KING THIS FANDOM DOESN’T DESERVE YOU MY LOVE. RHYSAND COULD NEVER.

...ok this hurts.

WHY??? BECAUSE HE'S GAY, GIRL.

“He kept her from breaking entirely 🥺” ok he could’ve done that without forcing himself on her again. If you suggest that he had to “make her disgusted to keep her together” or some twisted bullshit I will jump you.

Ok maybe here he kissed her to “protect her,” but he already had her forcibly pinned to the wall, flirting with her when she obviously did not want him, and was actively violating her for weeks by dressing her up like a whore and forcing her to give him lap dances. So this situation is entirely his fault and I will not give him any mercy here.

Anyway I believe that’s the end of Rhysand’s violations of Feyre specifically for this book. But yeah. He only gets worse from book 2 onward.

[gvcci-bxby]

the arrangement (mini series) - chapter 2: lucky

neteyam sully x omatikaya reader

word count: 5.2k

warnings: light angst, mostly fluff, probably misspellings lol

author's note: hello, everyone. this is the second chapter of 'the arrangement' series. As I continue to write this mini series, I become more and more excited... I hope everyone enjoys it!

Other chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

taglist: @bakugouswaif

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

As Neteyam walked away from your door, he shook his head at himself. He hurried himself down the roots of the tree, making his way down to the village again. Why did he have to play childish games on you throughout your childhood? At first, he thought it was funny, his friends always encouraging him on. It was amusing to see your tail twitch with aggravation, your ears pinned back in frustration. It was always just simple games, harmless pranks, and teasing. Now he’s frustrated with himself seeing how his games have come back to bite him. 

In Neteyam’s mind, he had to marry you. For a long time, he had convinced himself that one day you’d come around to the idea of mating with him and being the Tsahìk for the clan. Now, he twinged at your tone when you said you’d never mate with him, and he worried he would have to convince you otherwise. Neteyam clearly misinterpreted the way you perceived his games, and he has only realized it now that it’s too late. He never wanted a sour arranged marriage, one that he couldn’t look at his wife or she couldn’t look at him. His tail flicked imagining endless days of sitting on opposite sides of the home or silent, awkward dinners. He didn’t want that. 

Neteyam made his way back to his home, his parents waiting for him in their sitting room. In unison, his parents sat up straight, perking up at his presence entering through the doorway. 

“So,” Jake said, standing up. “How’d it go?”

Neteyam shook his head, “She hates me.” 

Jake put a hand to his forehead, while Neytiri hissed in frustration. “Son, did you really think it was a good idea to endlessly harass your future mate for years?” Jake said, looking towards his son. 

Clearly, he did and now that’s his current problem. Did he want to marry you? Not particularly. He disliked the way you were good at everything, making it look so easy during training. He was irritated by the way you hated him, always making his jokes a bigger deal then he meant them to be. He shook his head to himself, thinking how he hated the way he couldn’t help but watch your body move to the rhythm of the music at countless village festivals. 

“I wasn’t thinking about the future, sir. I’m sorry.” Neteyam said, looking at his father. 

“You never do, none of you do. This relationship is the foundation for the future of this clan. I’m hard on you because you have great responsibilities coming up.” Jake says, stepping closer to Neteyam. Neteyam was a tall, strong Na’vi yet his father still towered over him. “And all I ask is for you to create a model relationship for the rest of your peers and the clan. A relationship they feel like they can believe in and trust to lead them.” 

Neteyam breathed in, simmering his heated emotions. He hated being reprimanded by his father, especially because of you. 

“I will try.” Neteyam said, displaying that he was listening. 

“No trying, you will do. You’re dismissed.” Jake said, stepping back to let Neteyam by. 

Neteyam moved quickly, making his way to his room. As he walked by, his mother grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. 

“I see the way you look at her, Neteyam.” Neytiri said, her gaze boring a hole into her son. “Ask y/n for forgiveness for your past actions and show her your gentle side, the side the rest of us know as the true Neteyam.” Neytiri let go of her son’s arm, encouraging him to continue on. 

It was barely the afternoon and Neteyam was already exhausted. He didn’t feel like talking to anyone, not his siblings or friends that he had made plans with. Neteyam had known this moment was coming but he never thought how stressful it might be. Mateship should be exciting and warm but this entire thing, to Neteyam, felt cold and lonely. 

Neteyam plunked down on his bed, arms folding underneath his head, staring up at the ceiling. His mind fixated on you, all your interactions leaving his memory and rushing to his thoughts. Maybe his games were too harsh on you, you never did seem to like them. The truth is, Neteyam never understood why you never got along with each other. 

You avoided him at all times, making sure to have a friend group that hardly interacted with his. Occasionally you had to interact, small meetups with the young Na’vi when you were teenagers or sneaking out as a group to go to the lake after curfew. All those times he had noticed you and the way your tahini glowed in the darkness but never understood why you didn’t look in his direction. Had he really messed up that bad? Maybe, he supposes, he should have left you alone and let your eventual mateship be what brought you together. Neteyam had always know, as far back as he could remember, that you would be his mate. Perhaps his games were a way he could get you to notice him outside of being forced to mate with him. 

Neteyam, deep in his thoughts, only noticed that Lo’ak and Kiri had entered his room when they shook him back into consciousness. 

“Look at him, Kiri.” Lo’ak said, poking Neteyam’s arm. “He’s really torn up about this y/n thing.” 

Neteyam turned, scowling at Lo’ak. “I can hear you, bro.” 

Kiri sat down on the side of her brother’s bed, pulling Lo’ak with her. They sat, legs crossed, their tails curled with curiosity. “How are you feeling, brother?” Kiri said, turning her head to the side. 

Neteyam sighed, covering his eyes with the crook of his arm. “Everything is all messed up.” 

Kiri cooed, petting Neteyam’s arm. “Everything can be fixed, brother. I like y/n, she’s a nice girl. She’ll come around.” 

Lo’ak snorted, “Yeah, if she can get over all the pranks Neteyam has played on her.” 

Kiri shot Lo’ak a look and Neteyam groaned. “Were they really that bad?” 

Lo’ak opened his mouth to speak but Kiri pushed him in the chest causing him to fall backwards. Lo’ak hissed, rubbing his chest where Kiri shoved him. 

“The point is, brother, you have to apologize.” Kiri said, refocusing her attention on Neteyam. “It would probably help to have an honest conversation with her about the mateship too.”

Neteyam sighed, uncovering his eyes. “What do you mean?” 

“Well,” Kiri started, “You’ve told me that you just want to be a good leader for the clan even if that means being forced to mate with someone. You should at least communicate that to her, see if that’s a place where you can find common ground. To just make it work.” 

Neteyam shook his head, “Thank you, sister but you should have heard her today. She’s set on breaking the arrangement.” 

Kiri smiled, waving her hand. “Nonsense, I will help you with y/n. We’re friends, I know what she likes. Do you have plans to meet her soon?”

Neteyam nodded. 

“Good, you’ll take her for a picnic. Come, we’ll make the basket now.” Kiri said, standing up and pulling her brother’s arm. 

For the afternoon, Neteyam and Kiri worked together to roam around the territory of the village to collect and create a basket filled with the ripest fruits. Neteyam couldn’t help but build hope inside of him looking at what he and his sister were creating. Neteyam lost track of time and suddenly he found himself under a sunset, gold, and pink mixing together to stretch across the never-ending sky. 

Before they went home, Kiri snuck into the kitchen and swiped two slices of the cake that would be served tonight. “They won’t miss these,” Kiri had said, her eyes wide as she tucked the prizes in the basket Neteyam held. 

A pit in his stomach formed in Neteyam’s stomach. Neteyam felt so confused, unsure of how he felt about it all. He knew, no matter what, that his father would not let him, or you, out of this mateship. You had been chosen; a perfect match made by Eywa. It had been Neteyam’s fault for having a rough start with you, always teasing and making you look foolish in front of others in the clan. Truly, he had never meant any harm. 

“You really think y/n will like this, Kiri?” Neteyam asked as the siblings walked home. 

Kiri nodded, “No doubt. Remember to apologize, Neteyam. Eywa didn’t put you together for you two to hate each other.” 

Before Neteyam could process, he was standing at your doorstep, at noon the next day, the large and heavy basket in his hand. He knocked lightly and stepped back to allow you to respond. 

After only a moment, the door opened, and you stood in the doorway. Neteyam was taken aback when his breathed hitched at the sight of you. You were wearing a beaded outfit, one that looked brand new. It fit you perfectly, your top and bottom hugging you in all the right places, the beads covering your sensitive parts. The top half of your hair was up, tied back with a ribbon. Your face had touches of makeup; you had darkened your lips with juices of red berries. “Hello,” you said simply.

Neteyam coughed, tearing his gaze from you. “Hi, y/n. Are you ready?” 

You nodded, peering over your shoulder. “Yeah but I didn’t actually think you were coming, and I made the mistake of telling my mother and she forced me to pull all this shit on my face.” 

Neteyam smiled, amused. “It looks nice. Follow me.” 

You rolled your eyes, following him. Your eyes look at the full basket in his hand and you figured he was taking you for a picnic. The idea eased your mind, knowing that it would be a low-risk activity. 

Still, a day later, you didn’t know how you felt about going out with Neteyam. You had thought about it all night, unable to think of anything else. You tried to calm your emotions, thinking about how Eywa wouldn’t make a mistake by putting you and Neteyam together, right? Still, you couldn’t see it working out. 

You follow Neteyam, through the forest and away from the busy village. Your skin tingles, recognizing that you were alone with Neteyam. 

You watch as Neteyam sets the basket down, unfolding a weaved mat that had been tucked in beside the fruit and food. Neteyam stood back, gesturing for you to sit down. You did so, crossing your legs. You hadn’t eaten all day and your stomach growled at the sight of your favorite fruits. ‘How did he know what I like?’ You thought to yourself. 

Neteyam followed, sitting beside you. He was quick in dividing the food equally between the two of you. It was silent in the beginning, neither of you unsure of what to say. 

“I feel like we should talk,” Neteyam said, glancing at you.

You inhale, preparing yourself for the conversation. “You’re right,” you said, turning to Neteyam. 

“First, I want to apologize for my pranks over the years. I never thought about how you could be feeling being at the end of every joke.” Neteyam said, making eye contact with you.

Your heart weakened, frustrated that it took so long to hear an apology. You didn’t think Neteyam was a mean-spirited person, you had always seen him being kind and caring towards the elders in the village and his siblings. 

“We’ve been put in an odd position, having our relationship planned for us when you we were born. I guess I never knew how to deal with that, and I took it out on you. My parents, and I’m sure yours, have made it clear that we aren’t getting out of this so I feel like we should at least try to make us work. We have an entire clan to lead and that’s a lot of pressure. On top of all the expectations we have placed on us, I don’t want you to be miserable, y/n, I want you to be happy with me.” Neteyam huffed, using his last breath to squeeze out his statement.

You considered this. You didn’t want to have your relationship arranged, wanting the freedom to be a part of choosing your own mate and decide when you consummate your relationship. But you didn’t have that option and you had always known that. You decided to agree to Neteyam’s apology and put that in your past. You didn’t want to have a turbulent marriage, always admiring your parents peaceful and equal relationship. You had to accept his apology in order to make this work and have a relationship like your parents. You had to in order to be the leader you were born to be. 

Neteyam moved himself closer to you, his arm brushing yours. “I know this is all fast, just yesterday we were arguing and avoiding each other but us mating is getting closer, and we must prepare ourselves.”  

You nodded slowly, biting your lip as you listened. “I know Neteyam, it’s a lot. Let’s try though, I’ll try” 

You felt Neteyam’s shoulders go down beside you, his angst seemingly leaving his body. “Okay, where should we start?” 

You scrunched your nose. “Right here is a good start.” You said, gesturing towards the picnic around you. “It’s lovely, thank you for planning this.” 

Neteyam shrugged, “I’d like to say this was all me, but Kiri helped me out a lot.” 

You laughed, “I was wondering how you knew all my favorite foods.” 

You and Neteyam spent a few more hours together, conversing lightly. You both filled in the pieces of information that were missing from each of your understanding of each other. You couldn’t deny, it felt nice to not be at each other’s throat. You sat together in peace, laughing occasionally. It had been 20 years of constant strife between you and Neteyam, always a bitter exchange. Now, you were surprised by the quick turn-around between you and him, thankful for the mutual agreement to try and make a complicated situation simple. 

You eventually stood up, swiping the dirt off your legs. You noticed the sky dimming around you, the bio-luminous plants lighting up beside you. “I should probably get back home,” You said.

Neteyam nodded, standing up as well.  “You’re probably right,” he said, starting to pick scraps of food up, “I’ll walk you home.” 

Neteyam did so, replicating the short walk back to your home. You stood on your doorstep, facing Neteyam. “Thank you again, Neteyam. I appreciate the effort.” 

Neteyam smiled, making eye contact with you. “It was my pleasure. It comforts me to know that we will try our best to make our mateship work, y/n. I want to show you how good our relationship can be. An arranged relationship doesn’t have to be bad.” 

You nod, thinking his comments over. “You’re right. It doesn’t have to be bad. It’s actually kind of nice, not having to date a bunch of people to find the one.” 

Neteyam laughed, “Yeah, it is.” 

Silence laid between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The torches that were lit across the village illuminated the space around your hope. The shadows of the flames flickered across Neteyam faces, brightening his yellow eyes even brighter. Your breath hitched, studying his face closely. Neteyam was good looking, his features defined beautifully. All the rumors about Neteyam flooded to you at once, heating your neck and cheeks up. 

You tried to shake the images out of your head, but they stuck. You had heard from multiple girls that he was a good kisser, his large hands roaming in the right places. Multiple girls in the Omatikaya clan, Roya, Nalu and Leyra all had told you stories about their late nights spent with Neteyam. The way his fingers intertwined in their hair, the way his tongue flicked in rhythm, the way he made their back arch with ease. Your jaw clenched, causing your eyebrows to furrow. Why did the image of Neteyam sleeping with others cause you to feel.. jealousy? 

“Are you okay, y/n?” Neteyam said, noticing your face change from happy to concerned. Neteyam stepped closer, surprising himself when he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear. 

“Yes, I’m fine, I should go inside.” You step back, stumbling into your home. “Thanks again for today, Neteyam.” And you disappeared into your home, leaving Neteyam on your doorstep. 

Now Neteyam frowned, wondering what had just happened. It was going so well and then you frowned, seemingly thinking about something sour, then shrinking into your home. Neteyam stepped back, moving away from your home. 

Neteyam shifted the basket in his hands, walking towards his home. He thought about you, happy that you agreed to give the relationship a chance. Eywa had put you both in a beautifully complicated position, giving you the honor of leading a clan but putting you together unwillingly. 

Neteyam had been surprised at how smoothly the conversation went over the picnic, how easy it was to laugh and share stories. The image of the way you’d bite your lip, head leaned back as you laughed rolled around in his mind. Or the way the sun made your eyes twinkle, sparking Neteyam’s temptations to get closer to you. Already, Neteyam was in a trance around you.

-----

If someone had told you a few weeks ago that you and Neteyam would be getting along, going on several dates, you would have laughed in their face. The picnic with Neteyam was the first of many instances where you and he spent time together alone. 

The past several weeks it had become clear to you that Neteyam was putting in effort, attempting to show that he is no longer the boy that plays childish pranks on you but is the boy who you are set to marry shortly. Each visit with Neteyam leaves your head spinning trying to figure out how you feel about the entire situation. You appreciate having the ability to learn more about Neteyam and allow yourself to open up to him before you become an officially mated pair. The visits with Neteyam encourage you to think about him as your future mate, no longer your enemy. You even find yourself looking forward to seeing him, catching glimpses of him around the village send goosebumps your arms and heat your cheeks. 

Neteyam often sits next to you at the weekly clan dinners, showing you, his parents, and himself that he is attempting to find peace with the arrangement. You appreciate the public gestures, noticing that others in the clan are starting to acknowledge you and Neteyam’s future together. When you hang around your friends, when you aren’t with Neteyam or doing chores, they fill you in on the gossip and whispers that circulate about you and Neteyam’s relationship. You blush, diverting your gaze away from your friends, when they tell you how lucky you are. 

Jake and Neytiri, notice their son’s absence in their home, but pleased that all his spare time is being spent with you. Neteyam has noticed also that he hasn’t spent time with his friends, or siblings, in a few weeks. Neteyam has been pleasantly surprised that he has been wrapped up in the time that is spent with you and the time it takes to make each date a special one. 

You and Neteyam have both been taken by surprise by the progress that’s been made together, completely forgetting the complicated, messy history you had at one point. You’ve both bonded, in a way, in only a short couple of weeks. You and Neteyam relate deeply, in a way nobody else can understand, both equally feeling the pressures of being chosen to be future leaders. In a way, that bonds you together deeply and for forever.

-----

You stand outside your home, clipping one of your tops to a string that connects to a tree by your home. Your mother put you on laundry duty and you’ve been tied to your home all day. You hum, taking in the pleasant weather and warm sunshine that is beginning to set itself away for night. You catch yourself thinking about Neteyam, wondering what he’s doing right now. 

You scrunch your nose at the realization, shaking your head at yourself. You can’t believe you think of Neteyam in such a way, considering how you felt about him only a few weeks ago. You look off into the distance, listening to the chatter of the wildlife that lives around you in Pandora. You curse your mother, wishing she hadn’t given you a chore that chained you to your home for the entire day. 

Later that evening, you lay in your bed, your body tired from doing laundry all day. The sun had set several hours ago, and village life had winded down to a quiet hum. You lay on your back, staring up at the ceiling. You feel yourself drifting off into sleep when you feel something ping off your leg. You frowned, reaching down to rub where you felt something tap you. There was nothing on your bed or around you. 

You laid back down, trying to fall back asleep when you felt another object ping your leg. You laid still, waiting to feel it again. Your eyes watched as a small pebble flew into your room through your window. 

You stood up, standing on your bed to be able to look at the window. When you peaked out, you saw Neteyam standing outside your window, a goofy grin on his face. 

“Neteyam?” You whispered, “What are you doing throwing pebbles in my room?” You couldn’t help but laugh as you asked the question. 

“I thought it was better than knocking on your door considering the time,” Neteyam said, throwing a small pebble towards you, which ended up pinging off the side of your home. “Come out and take a walk through the forest with me, I have something to show you.” 

“You want me to come out now?” You asked. “It’s past curfew already.” 

Neteyam shrugged, “So? Come out.” 

You sighed, weighing the possibility of being caught by your parents or other Na’vi elders. You glanced at Neteyam who stood below your window, willing you to sneak out of your home. Your eyes caught Neteyam’s and he smiled, his tail flicking behind him in anticipation. You huffed, stepping off your bed. Neteyam frowned then, fully expecting you to have joined him. He stood in his position, hoping that you would change your mind. 

“Psst,” you said, now standing outside your home. You noticed Neteyam waiting, seemingly thinking you had turned his proposition down. “Are you coming or not?” you said, a playful smile across your lips.

Neteyam laughed, realizing that you had snuck out to join him, catching him by surprise. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.” 

Neteyam caught up to you, walking at the same pace as you. It had been a full day since you last saw him, but it wasn’t like you were counting or anything… 

You made your way through the edge of the forest, Neteyam telling you when to turn. You turned off the beaten down path, turning into a thick part of the forest. You chatted lightly with your future mate, exchanging pleasantries. Neteyam informed you about his training he had participated in earlier in the day, shaking his head while he told you how Lo’ak had embarrassed himself. You laughed, imaging the scene in your mind as Neteyam told you. 

After a while of walking, you had given up on guessing where Neteyam was taking you. “Where are we going, Neteyam?” You asked, glancing up at him. 

Neteyam put his arm out, pushing several large branches out of the way to reveal a pretty sight. “We are going right here.” 

Before you, a river extended itself down for miles. The water, which was bio-luminous, moved slowly, making it the perfect place to swim. The water was illuminated, a beautiful deep blue, lighting up the surrounding area. The river’s edge was lined with beautiful plants and flowers, bio-luminous too, making it a mysterious sight. You inhaled sharply, glancing at Neteyam. 

Neteyam noticed your eyes sparkle, your facial features expressing awe of the sight he brought you too. He felt pleased, watching your reaction. Neteyam took your hand in his, guiding your from behind the bushes to the water’s edge. “I found it a couple of weeks ago and it’s been my go-to place to decompress after trainings. I thought you’d like it.” 

You nodded, crouching down, still holding Neteyam’s hand. You dipped your fingertips into the water, the warm water rushing between your fingers. “It’s beautiful.” 

You stood up, having the urge to feel the water all over your body. It had been months since you last swam, chores and duties claiming all your free time. “Come on,” you said, tugging Neteyam. You walked into the water until you were up to your thighs. Neteyam followed, amused by your urges. 

You sighed in relief; you always loved the feelings of water. You dipped down, submerging your torso underwater. You laughed, tipping your head back. “This is so much fun, Neteyam. I haven’t been swimming in forever!” 

Neteyam laughed too, his eyes gazing at you. His heart fluttered at the sound of your laugh, the way you expressed your pleasure of being in the water. 

Neteyam crouched down too, his face at your level. You turned your gaze to him, noticing his close proximity to you. Neteyam was a beautiful Na’vi and you knew it. His boyish features were turning into grown up features before your eyes, the anticipation of being introduced as the future Olo’eyktan aging him. You didn’t even notice Neteyam was taking you in at the same time, his eyes taking in your face. Within him, Neteyam felt a hunger to be close to you.

Underneath the water, you felt Neteyam’s hands wrap around your waist, bringing your body closer to his. You both stayed still, unmoving, embracing the moment and being alone together. 

Swiftly, the moment was broken by Neteyam cupping your face with one of his large hands, guiding your face to his, your lips crashing together with his. 

You were caught by surprise, once again, but your skin crawled with excitement. You took in Neteyam’s taste, your lips moving in synch with each other’s. You sighed softly, wishing the action of kissing Neteyam would never end. Neteyam’s arm wrapped around your waist firmly, your fronts pressing against each other. 

Neteyam pulled away, moving his hand that cupped your face to brushing a lock of your hair away from your face. Again, he took in your beauty, cursing himself for breaking the kiss. His lips already missed yours. 

You covered your mouth, stifling a laugh. ‘I kissed Neteyam!’ you thought to yourself ‘Who would have thought I would say that?’

Neteyam noticed your attempt to cover-up your laugh and he laughed too. It felt natural to kiss you, to have your body close to his. 

“Come on,” Neteyam said, pulling you. “Let’s swim for a while.”

You and Neteyam swam up the river, fooling around as you splashed water at each other or simply floated as you took in the quiet of the forest around you. After what must have been an hour or two, you both decided you should get home before anyone noticed you were missing. 

Once you stood back on land, attempting to dry yourselves off, you thanked Neteyam. “Thank you for getting me to sneak out and showing me your secret place. I really needed the break.” 

Neteyam glanced at you smiling, “I’m glad to share my secret place with you,” Neteyam said, pulling his wet braids back. “It can be our place from now on.” 

You smiled, diverting your eyes to the ground, feeling your cheeks heat up with a blush. 

You and Neteyam worked your way back to the Omaticaya village. In between conversations with Neteyam, you thought about how you felt happy with him, wishing you and Neteyam could have sorted out your issues sooner so you could have felt this joy years earlier. Everything happens when it needs to, you supposed. 

You were pleased with the way you and Neteyam’s relationship had matured and progressed that last few weeks. You felt hope that you could be a mated pair that got along, able to lead the Omaticaya people together. For the first time, you agreed with your friends; you were indeed lucky. 

Once you reached your home, located on the west edge of the village, you stopped to face Neteyam. “I guess this is good night.” You said, wishing you didn’t have to part with him. Neteyam smiled again, nodding. “I guess so,” Neteyam said, seemingly disappointed as well. 

Neteyam bent down, placing a kiss on your cheek. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

You smiled, stepping back from Neteyam. You gave him a little wave, walking up the steps to your front door. Without turning around, you opened your door slowly, hoping your parents weren’t awake. 

Neteyam watched as you go, wishing he could follow you into your home, into your room, into your bed. Once your front door closed, Neteyam turned, heading back towards his home. 

Neteyam was only a few feet away from his home when a figure appeared next to him. “Neteyam,” the voice, who Neteyam recognized as Korra, said. “Where have you been all day? I haven’t been able to find you.”

Neteyam’s stomach dropped, forgetting about Korra while he was with you. Korra was a Na’vi in the clan who had made it very clear that she had her sights set on Neteyam. It was known that Neteyam had been seen with other girls in the clan but most of what had circulated around the village was misunderstood. For a moment, Neteyam wondered if you heard and believed the rumors. Neteyam had always known he was promised to you, and although it was a complicated matter until now, he had never strayed away from the expectation to mate with you one day so he, mostly, stayed away from girls until the day to be with you arrived. 

“Korra, now isn’t a great time.” Neteyam said, moving around her. 

“Neteyam, now is always a great time. Some of us are hanging out tonight, you should come.” 

Neteyam shook his head, “No, Korra, I don’t think so.” 

Korra frowned, “Oh, okay. Well, can I see you soon?”

Neteyam tried his hardest to refrain from grimacing. “No, not like that. As friends, sure, but I don’t think you understand that Y/n and I are to be mated soon and I don’t want to offend her by being around girls without her. Maybe we can hang out as a group sometime.” 

Korra raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms. She tried her best to submerge her frustrated feelings to a place where they didn’t show. “You both should come tonight then. You’re always the life of the party, we just miss you around us. You’ve been so preoccupied lately.” 

Neteyam shrugged thinking about it. Would it be weird to go back and invite you? Maybe hanging out with his friends would help acquaint you with his life. Plus, Neteyam just wanted to see you again, taking any opportunity to spend time with you. “I’ll ask.” Neteyam said, moving away from Korra to finish his walk into his home. Little did he know, he left Korra standing outside his home, her emotions flaming with jealousy, and rejection. 

[catboymoments]

Before Hyacinth learns about being a Grimwalker does he think that they were adopted? Like how Mittens was but at a younger age? Or do they think they’re Hunter and Willow’s biological child? Or something else? And if they were told to be adopted did they wonder about their origins, whether in an analytical curious way or a “I wonder if my bio parents loved me” way? Sorry a lot of questions haha

I think they would do what any good parent would and give him the age appropriate truth- since he’s pretty observant he’d probably ask like… “why don’t I look like mama at all? Bronnie looks like both her mom and her renny, but I just kinda look like dad…” (Mittens wouldn’t have been in the picture yet if Hyacinth is pretty young here.)

n Willow and Hunter would be like. Nervous glance. Ok let’s do this. We prepared for this a little.

Cont. Under the cut to save space lol

“Well, you know how most witches and demons look a little like their parents, right? Like how Bronnie has green hair like Mx Raine, or how your mama looks a little like both grandpa and pop?”

“mhm!”

“Well, that’s because- um. Usually-“

“Most witchlings and demon kits are made by different… parts of their parents! Like how a seed can grow into a tree or a Biting Nettle after it’s pollinated, yeah?“

“Right! like- remember how when Aunt Luz had Azura in her tummy because she still had to grow?”

“Uh huh…”

“It’s sort of like that. But… you didn’t grow in my tummy. And your dad-“

“I uh- my body is… different.”

“Like mine?”

“Yes!! Exactly! That’s because you and I share a lot of things, bud. Like how I had eyes like yours in that picture, the one from before Flapjack helped me? A-And we have the same big ears and that one lock of hair that never stays straight no matter how we style it?” (He softly flicks Hyacinth’s hair noodle with a smile, and Hyacinth giggles, so unlike the past.)

“You and I are related by our biology, what makes our bodies up as… witches. You’re not related that way to your mom, but you are still, absolutely, without a doubt her child, and she is still your mama. The love is there and she’s known you since the day you were born, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I love your mom, and we both love you, which makes us family.”

“Exactly. You’re our baby- my baby, even if I didn’t help to bring you here. Okay?”

“Oh… okay! So it’s like how Uncle Gus is my uncle but you guys and him don’t have the same dads?”

“…”

“Y-yeah that’s a much simpler way to put it!”

[samcrosfaith]

COOKIE DISASTER

Happy Lowman x random fem!oc because I suck at writing character x reader, sorry!

a/n; please feel free to leave requests in my ask box for Halloween and Christmas One Shots. Happy and Jax only please because I'm not good at writing the other characters lol. If you have a specific wish/look/backstory for your OC, please let me know— otherwise I'll come up with something.🎄❤️

If you wanna get tagged in these, just let me know in the comments and I'll add you to the tag list!

this one was requested by @marleyelona

tag list; @ravennaortiz

word count; 1379

Happy's cursing echoed through the house as he pulled the baking tray of burnt cookies out of the oven, burning himself when one of the towels slipped aside, adding to the chaos. Had he known that baking cookies would end in this disaster, he probably wouldn't have done it.

Okay, no, he would have. He woul've done it anyway for his wife's sake, because he would do anything for her. Even baking cookies.

Grunting, he shook his head, sighing and looking down at the many dark cookies, his hands resting on the countertop. How could he mess up such a simple task?

These were Isabella's favorite cookies, a reminder of her recently deceased mother. Isabella was still grieving, unable to imagine life without her mother since the women had an unbreakable bond. And every year, a few days before Christmas so that the cookies were fresh, his mother-in-law would bake an extra tray fo Isabella and himᅳ for her daughter with an extra dash of cinnamon.

His head whipped around when he suddenly heard footsteps behind him. With all the chaos, he hadn't even noticed that his wife had come home from work early.

"Want to tell me what you're doing?" Her eyebrow raised and a hint of amusement in her Spanish accent, she approached, curiosity flashing in her brown eyes. "You baked? Are you sick or something?"

But Happy just grumbled as she put her hand teasingly against his forehead, turning around to grab a beer from the fridge. "Was going to make something for you. Didn't work", he muttered, his mood at its lowest.

"Hey, what's up?" Isabella frowned, then her eyes widened with a small gasp, her chest swelling with love as she realized, despite the burnt smell and cookies, what his plan had been. "You made Mama's cookies. Hap..that's so sweet."

"More like fucked 'em up", he huffed as he sipped his beer. Happy picked up one of the rock-hard cookies, tapping it against the counter. "Hear that? Can't even give them to the birds anymore."

They had been together for over a decade and she had never seen him bake. The fact that he made the effort was something she appreciated.

So instead of letting his frustration drive her away, her lips curled into a smile. "Now you're exaggerating, they're not that bad", she insisted eagerly as she gently brushed some flour off his shirt with the palm of her hand. "Have you ever seen me make these cookies in all these years?"

"No, but why would you? Your mom always made them", he grumbled, not quite following her. His features softened a little though as Isabella wrapped her arms around his waist. "Sorry I messed them up. I know how much you miss your mom and this is the first Christmas without her. Just wanted to give you something from her."

"Right. But the real reason I've never made them is because I messed them up the first time I triedᅳ me,a professional baker", she said with an amused glint in her eyes as Happy's eyes narrowed a little, just a little. "So you did pretty well considering you have no experience."

She placed a hand on his cheek, smiling gently as she ran her thumb over his stubble. "See, that's why I fell in love with you back then. You've always been so attentive, even if you don't look like it. Thanks for trying, baby, it means a lot to me."

Happy just grunted, instinctively pulling her closer after seeing a spark of sadness flash in her eyes. Putting his bee aside, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.

He wasn't going to give up that easily, after all, he still had five days until Christmas.

ᅳ

The next day, Happy was standing in the kitchen again, his brow furrowed in thought. This time it had to work, if only to see the sparkle in Isabella's eyes again.

The kitchen was just as much of a mess as yesterday, the dough looked no different and the SAA was on the verge of despair. As if that wasn't enough, the container with the baking powder fell over, the white powder landing on the work surface.

"Really?!" Grunting, he ran a hand over his face, whirling around when he suddenly felt something on his shoulder, as if a hand was resting on it. "The fuck..", he muttered under his breath when no one was there.

Who else could be there? Isabella was at work. Was he losing his mind now? Great.

His features sharp and his ears pricked, he looked around the kitchen again. And there it was again, the feeling on his shoulder. This time firmer, like an encouraging squeeze. It wasn't necessarily a bad, uncomfortable feelingᅳ in fact, the opposite.

As strange as it was, Happy's muscles relaxed and something inside him told him to look at the recipe againᅳ which he did. And that was the moment when he really thought he was losing his mind. The baking powder was the ingredient he hadn't put in the dough yet and had already forgotten it yesterday.

There was a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, even a shiver ran up his spine after he added the baking powder and the pressure on his shoulder suddenly subsided and for a moment he even thought he heard a satisfied hum.

Being Happy, he tried to find a logical explanation for it, he was probably just tired and overwhelmed. But deep down he knew that what was happening hadn't been a coincidence.

In the end, the cookies turned out perfect. The smell of cinnamon, apple and other Christmas spices wafted through the kitchen while Happy waited for his wife, the incident from this morning still in his bones.

But when Isabella finally came home, he met her halfway in the hallway and smiled slightly as she slipped out of her high heels with a contented sigh and walked towards him with a perfect swing of her hips.

"Hi baby", she chirped against his lips before stealing a kiss from them, the kiss deepening for a moment as Happy pulled her closer. "Mh...what did I do to deserve this?", she asked as his arm wrapped around her waits.

"Can't I greet my Old Lady properly anymore?", he asked with a grin, rubbing the pad of his thumb against the thin fabric of her black dress.

"Hey, I wasn't complaining", she said, her eyes shining with mischief. "We might as well move this whole thing to our bedroom", she whispered as she ran the tip of her long fingernail over his chest.

"I gotta show you something first", he croaked against the corner of her mouth before placing a few kisses along her jawline, feeling himself getting hard. But that would have to wait. "Kitchen. After that I'm going to fuck my wife."

Isabella cleared her throat, her cheeks flushed and her teeth sinking into her lower lip as a pleasant heat rose between her legs. "You better hurry up."

"So needy, huh?" Chuckling, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen. "Try it. I have no idea how, but it worked."

"You tried it again?" Like a child at Christmas, a smile spread from ear to ear when Isabella saw the full plate of cookies and they really did look almost exactly like her mother's. "It even smells the same as hers always did", she remarked, perplexed.

Happy watched closely as she took one and tasted it, the soft smile with the wistful look in her eyes showing that she immediately remembered her mother. That was all he had wanted.

"That's.." Isabella shook her head, laughing in disbelief. "They're perfect, almost like you had help from my mom."

This time, when it happened again and Happy felt a weird feeling on his shoulder, he remained calm, although he was now sure that things were happening here that definitely couldn't be explained.

"Something like that", he shrugged with the slightest of smiles, relieved to see Isabella happy about his gesture.

And his wife had made sure to show him how grateful she was too. Let's just say, the night was short.

[ebonysplendor]

Screen Shrink (#1?): Milo Change

**This was written for funsies, strictly for funsies, and only for funsies. This is not meant to be taken seriously or as fact**

Okay, so...changing gears a little bit here from my typical game schpiels, but it's like, we've been hanging out together for a few months now, yeah? Yeah, so it only makes sense that I can share some of these little weird quips of mine.

So, fun fact, I am a mental health therapist~! So that means that I make money by listening to people vent to me about their problems, concerns, traumas, and all of that and helping them work through it. Another thing that I do for money is diagnose them. Kinda cool, huh?

Now, the reason why I shared that with you is because, I involuntarily start diagnosing characters when I watch TV and movies, or read a story or news article, or play video games...or visual novels lol. Anyways, the sole reason of this post being created was because I've been plagued with these thoughts for a while, and no one I know IRL either play or will admit that they play visual novels, so I have no one to share these specific thoughts with.

I may or may not make this a thing on my blog but meh. I just have to get this one in particular out. All of that being said...tell me that (OG) Milo Change doesn't meet the criteria for Adjustment Disorder with Mixed Anxiety and Depressed Mood.

Please let me explain, because this has been burning me for months.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Okay, so listen... Actually, let me preface this first.

People are very unique and very odd, and because of that, people don't always fit cleanly into a diagnosis. Why did I mention that? Because, sometimes, based on what a client is describing, it can fit the criteria of a certain condition but not meet the exact requirements. It's like when doctors diagnose an illness; you don't have the exact 3 symptoms for the flu, but you have 2 of them, so they diagnose and treat it like the flu until proven otherwise, hence why they say "flu-like" symptoms versus just "the flu".

Okay, so anyways, I said that, because some of you are probably like "Nah, Milo definitely has anxiety", and you wouldn't be wrong! Milo absolutely fits the criteria for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but remember that thing I mentioned about the "flu-like" symptoms? Therapists do the same thing. We either give a broad/general diagnosis (because we've gotta bill them under something, even if it's just very mild depression, so we can keep seeing them) or we give an extremely specific one; Milo's is -- or appears to be, because again, people are unique and odd, and what I see another therapist may not -- an extremely specific one, which is Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Depressed Mood.

In order to meet the criteria of Adjustment Disorder, you pretty much would have had to undergo a big change within the last 3 months, like a divorce, getting out of jail, having people move in, or something of the sort. Now, the "mixed anxiety and depressed mood" are what are known to be "specifiers" and those are pretty much exactly what they sound like -- they make the diagnosis more specific or explain it a bit more.

All that being said, it appears that Milo meets the criteria for Adjustment Disorder with Anxiety and Depressed Mood because:

- He had a major change in scenery from a small town to a bustling, city-based campus (adjustment) - Technically, we could include that he's getting used to being this psycho's someone's significant other...yeah, let's add that as an extra layer (adjustment) - He also has very low self-esteem and self-worth, so that very likely means he struggles with feelings of worthlessness (depression) - He be a touch starved boy (depression) - He has a pretty shitty set of "friends" that frequently mistreat him (depression), and this poor kid is probably trying to do everything in his power not to piss them off, but it's a constant guessing game (anxiety) - But he also opts to have them versus no one at all because it's hard enough putting yourself out there to meet new people to start with. Still though, it's like...damn, to be mistreated or to be lonely (depression and anxiety) - He's pretty jumpy when you speak to him, stutters a lot, (it looks like) he fidgets with his clothing, he's a nail biter, and frequently avoids eye contact (anxiety) - Not to mention that this poor baby has a general mistrust of new people being nice to him since he immediately thinks that they want something from him or playing a joke on him (anxiety)

Like, come on. You cannot TELL ME that that isn't -- likely -- adjustment disorder with anxiety and depressed mood. The man is 100% an anxious wreck, but like, shit, I would be, too, if I left my familiar shitty environment to a totally new shitty environment; I knew what to expect at home, not so much here, ya get me?

Now, would I change this diagnosis down the line? Absolutely, because, if he's still an anxious wreck 6 months down the line, clearly it wasn't the change in environment that had him on edge like that, or rather that's not the thing that's continued to have him on edge like that. Initial visit, though? This is 100% what I would've given him if I did his assessment.

I just had to get this off my chest. I've kept this to myself for MONTHS now, and I just couldn't anymore man! But what do you think? You think another diagnosis would've fit him better? Meh, probably.

Anyways, thanks for letting me share that. I have a lot more characters I have diagnosis for that I'd love to share one day. That honestly may be sooner rather than later since I've broken the seal lol.

Welp, I've met my yap quota for the day...at about 2 in the morning (as of writing this) lmao. Big preesh for getting this far. Remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

**This was written for funsies, strictly for funsies, and only for funsies. This is not meant to be taken seriously or as fact**

[ravenlly]

TSAMS, LAES, and EAPS Celestials As Pokemon Types

I got the idea to post this OVER A MONTH AGO but was too lazy. Anyway I thought it would be fun to go over what Pokemon types I think the TSBS celestials would be if they were Pokemon. I’ll explain my points! I’m thinking of making another about what existing Pokemon species they’d be, what teams they’d have in their party, or what training type they’d specialize in! Anyway, enough yapping, enjoy!

Sun: Normal/Fire- I chose normal for Sun because he isn't someone who wants to be powerful and is one of the more down-to-earth characters who doesn't see himself as ultra-powerful. However, he does mess with magic and he has the ability to use it to shoot fireballs so I decided to give him fire typing as well. Plus that also suits him considering he is an animatronic sun.

Moon: Dark- I just think the dark-type suits him due to him being a night-themed animatronic. Plus he is intelligent and perceptive and dark-type Pokemon are also often perceptive.

Lunar: Electric/Fairy- Fairy because of how he looks and his innocent appearance and electric due to his abilities. He has the ability to control all weather but obviously lightning is the one he chooses to use the most. I was considering adding dark due to him due to him recently acquiring negative star power but I decided to keep it as electric/fairy instead.

Earth: Grass/Fairy- Grass because of her being a nature-themed animatronic who also loves nature. You would think I'd choose water given that part of her planet design has water but I chose fairy because of her pretty appearance and kind personality. Plus she likes fairies and stuff like that so it really does suit her.

Solar: Normal- I decided to put normal since he's one of the characters who is the most sane and levelheaded out of the entire shows. I was considering making him a ghost type or adding that to him since he did die but this makes more sense to me. I also briefly considered fire due to him being sun-themed and orange and because of his canon arm but that didn't make sense to me since I don't want to base it off appearance for the most part and he no longer has the canon arm.

Nexus: Dark/Poison- Another one that's pretty obvious. Dark due to his personality, his usage of dark star power, and because he is a night-themed animatronic. Poison also because of negative star power essentially being a poisonous substance.

Eclipse: Dark/Ghost- Pretty straightforward. Dark due to his grouchy, lonesome personality and ghost because he has died and come back to life so many times.

Ruin: Psychic- This was a tough one. I didn't know whether to make him dark or psychic and I thought combining the two wasn't probably the best idea. I would've chosen dark due to all the trauma he has gone through and the dark things he's done for the greater good but I decided to go with psychic instead! He's extremely intelligent and aware of what's going on around him a lot of the time. He is also perceptive of emotions and he seems to know how things are going to go a lot of the time. I thought psychic was suitable for him! Plus we already have so many dark types here lol.

Jack: Fighting/Steel- I chose fighting for him because he is super protective, loves to fight, loves weapons, and was ultimately made to be a weapon. I chose steel because he has steel claws and other steel body parts that count as weapons.

Dazzle: Ghost/Fairy- Dazzle's is pretty straightforward as well! Ghost because she is a dead child. Fairy because she is a very adorable little thing and fairy Pokemon are known for being the most cutesy type.

Bloodmoon: Dark/Fighting- This one is pretty straightforward. Dark because his interest is very dark and evil. Fighting because he loves to fight everything. It was pretty easy to choose a type for them.

Dark Sun: Dark/Dragon- Even though he sees himself as a normal Sun, his interests and personality say otherwise. I chose dark because his thoughts and the things he has done are very, very dark. Dragon because he has a big wither dragon he seems to have control over (it's obvious what trainer type I'll assign to him when I post that lol).

Solar Flare: Fire/Steel- I wasn't going to make any based on their looks alone, I swear, but Solar Flare's "rays" look more like fire. It looks more like a hairstyle than the rays actual Daycare Attendant models have (sorry, Sun). But yeah it looks so much like fire I can't ignore it. As for the steel type, I basically gave him this type because he is one of the most robotic characters in the series since he didn't get to grow and develop much before his death so I thought that type fits him.

Killcode: Dark/Grass- I think KC would be a dark-type because he was originally made to, you know, kill things which is a pretty dark thing to do and makes him fit right into that category. I think post-death-loving KC would be a grass type as well because of how connected he was to nature and kindness (which go hand-in-hand a lot in stories if you think about it).

Lord Eclipse: Psychic- This is an Eclipse that got a star that gave him the ability to do anything and see everything in his universe. It only makes sense for him to be a psychic-type!

Servant Sun: Ghost- I bet I surprised you with this one, didn’t I? It's basically because Lord Eclipse had the habit of killing him and bringing him back to life over and over again. He's much different than normal (our canon) Sun is at the moment so that's why he isn't a normal-type. He is a shell of his former self and he's been killed and brought back to life a lot so that's my reasoning for him being a ghost-type!

[slayerkitty]

Let's Talk About Trust, Baby

I've seen a lot of posts where people are really confused about Mew and where his head might be at with regard to his relationship with Top. Why he hasn't given Top the boyfriend title back, why they haven't had sex yet, etc. That led me down a rabbit hole of thinking about the relationships between the characters and the one thing all relationships need to function - TRUST. If you don't trust your significant other or your friends/family, etc, what kind of relationship can you even have? I tried to break this down in groups/pairs and some of it might not be as thought out, so there may be more on this as the show goes on but here we go.

The Fab Four

So there's a lot of context we're missing about the relationships between our core four dysfunctional besties (Note: So far, Cheum doesn't seem that dysfunctional, you're doing amazing sweetie!) such as how they met, how long have they been friends (what the hell Ray and Mew got up to that one night... *ahem* I digress). Now, we don't have any real answers to these questions (yet) so I'm taking some educated guesses based on my own college experiences and what I've generally picked up from other university BLs typical story telling.

I feel like the four of them met during orientation (except maybe Ray and Mew, I'm waffling on thoughts that they've known each other since high school). Most university BLs set it up that the mains meet during orientation, bond during whatever torture the seniors are putting the freshman through and kind of build their friend groups based on that.

I also feel like they may have gravitated toward each other or remained a group because they're all queer. BLs can go either way on whether or not homophobia exists in their narrative and I think that Only Friends is going the more realistic route (and it's Jojo) so I think that I can definitely see them bonding over being queer. They find an LGBTQ bar and it becomes their thing to do together. Most friendship groups form because people just sort of fall in together due to circumstance and they seem no different.

But do they trust each other? Signs point to yes. (I was shocked too, lol)

Mew and Cheum: We haven't had much focus on her, but he seems to value her opinion and listen to her advice. (We also know that April likes him from the time they've spent together and he likes April, so I would say he and Cheum probably have pretty good trust built up.)

Mew and Boston: He believed without a single doubt when Boston said that Top had never had a lover longer than 3 months and that Top would probably, as Ray put it "nail and bail" once Mew and Top have sex. Cheum also believed Boston. Do I think Boston was lying here? No. But neither do they and that's important. Does Boston trust Mew? I think he does. His issues with Mew are not about trust.

Mew and Ray: These two vibe a little different than the rest of the group. They seem closer; they seem like they've talked about "the deep stuff" (vs maybe superficial topics with their other friends). Their first one on one scene has them talking about Ray's alcoholism seriously (even though Mew doesn't push about it as much as I would have liked) and you can tell there's an intimacy there that the other group members don't share. Whether that stems from whatever it is that happened that night in the video (I am salivating about this, it's delicious, I need more info) or because they've been friends for longer, I don't know.

Let's move on to the pairs:

Cheum and April: Do they trust each other? I assume so? Cheum goes out drinking with the boys at least once a week and April seems okay with that (we haven't heard otherwise), so I'll say yes? (Jojo, I NEED MORE OF THEM. I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO EVEN ANALYZE. GIVE US MORE.)

Sand and Ray: I'm gonna call this one as Sand does not trust Ray, but Ray trusts Sand. Sand knows that Ray is a walking red flag and he's trying to resist but Ray is making it really hard. *ahem* Ray bailing mid-make out is not helping Sand's trust issue. If you look at how Sand has cared for Ray since episode one, however, Ray most likely trusts Sand. I mean, Ray talked about his mom to Sand. I think that's a biiiig deal.

Mew and Top: Thanks to Boston, neither of them trusts the other. And this, right here, is why Mew has not moved the relationship forward. HE DOESN'T TRUST TOP. He's still worried that Top will "nail and bail". Remember Mew's checklist from episode two? He only checks off "gets along with my friends" (HAH!) and "respects me" but not "doesn't lie to me". We can infer this means it hasn't been marked off since he doesn't mention it to anyone in this episode. Given that a lot of us clocked Mew potentially spotting Boston's trunks on the floor in the shower, along with him questioning if Top was telling the truth about the fire, it's clear this is the one thing holding him back.

If Mew agrees to be Top's boyfriend, then the expectation of sex becomes a lot higher (it shouldn't but that's a different discussion to be had). It's also implied in the narrative (and from Jojo) that Mew is a very structured person and he doesn't like to lose control (re-watch the counter scene from episode one. You know you want to. I'll wait). The moment that Mew realizes that he is way too into what they're doing, he panics because he doesn't have control over the situation.

Up until episode three, Top did trust Mew. He trusted him enough to get vulnerable and then Boston blew it up by fabricating a narrative backed with evidence of...something between Ray and Mew (I'm seriously dying for this scene, I need it).

Another thing I am having thoughts about is that in this episode, Top referred to himself as Mew's boyfriend and so did Cheum and Mew didn't deny it like he did in episode two. When Top's *ahem* "buddy" approached them at the silent disco, it was very clear that Mew expected Top to introduce Mew as his boyfriend and was visibly (if momentarily) upset that he didn't.

Boston and Nick: Yes and no, but also no and no, respectively. So Boston trusts Nick with some things but not everything which leads to him lying, gaslighting and manipulating (he's a triple threat). In turn, Nick lies right back, because what else can he do? (a lot of things actually, oh Nick, you are starting to spiral hard.) This leads Nick to rigging the CCTV video to show on his phone and to wiretap Boston's car, which just shows you his trust in Boston is non-existent.

In conclusion: Trust is another theme the show seems to be exploring: earning it, keeping it, and what you do after trust is broken. I think it can tie back into the ongoing ephemerality discussion as well: trust isn't permanent. You have to earn it, maintain it, and once broken, it's gone (and seldom can be repaired).

Also, everyone needs therapy.

Tagging the Ephemerality Squad: @waitmyturtles, @chickenstrangers, @lurkingshan, @twig-tea, @ranchthoughts, @clara-maybe-ontheroad

Hope I didn't forget anyone!