#just another day in the ward
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love that u never know what the day will bring you when working in psychiatry. last week a patient almost beat me up. today a patient knocked on my door, peeked through the door, smiled, said 'you're so beautiful' and left. tomorrow? who knows
#and another patient during our interview smiled and said 'now you. youre a smart pretty lady'#which. im not a lady but i appreciate the sentiment lol#he then went 'your nails arent painted. good' (my nails r usually painted black lmao)#just another day in the ward#i started my day w the calmer patients and am working up my courage to see the more agressive ones orz#burrito talks#delete later
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it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now
#I think on another level he was sorta saying like ‘hey kiryu. you’re making it extremely clear that you don’t trust me and my intentions#and I’ve been trying to show you- over and over again- that I’d do just about anything for you and your safety#but I can’t just let my mask fall off in front of everyone- I need to keep up the unpredictable morally grey wildcard act for both my sake#AND yours. because disguising my helping you as crazy random violent outbursts and weird stalker behavior#is the only way I CAN help you. do you think it would go over well with shimano or literally anyone else if I was outright helping you out#of the kindness of my heart and fondness for you? stop being so fucking dense and look past the crazy wacky nonsense for a second and#maybe you’ll realize that all I do at the end of the day- really- is help you and put my own life and reputation on the line for you.#I am an honest guy when it comes to my real values and when I told you I wouldn’t let anyone kill you unelss it was myself- I meant it.#I’ve taken a knife and a bullet for you now. can you REALLY not see through the act yet? am I REALLY that unpredictable when you think about#it?’#that was a longer explanation than i intended but. it was difficult to put into words#I basically feel like it could be read as him implying kiryu shouldn’t backstab the people who put themselves on the line to help him#and/or pointing out that he’s never actually done kiryu dirty and has stuck to his word protecting him in the ways he can#trying to say yeah all this is a crazy act and all but when it comes down to it you Can trust me#it really makes sense when you think about it that he’d have to help kiryu/show affection towards kiryu in unpredictable convoluted ways#at that point in time because. I mean. there’s a reason he was the only person who showed up to welcome kiryu when he got out of prison#and that’s because A) he sticks to his word and his loyalty to people he cares about and B) no one else had the balls or the batshit insane#mask to wear to ward off anyone asking real questions like majima did. because ANYONE associating themselves with the supposed#patriarch-killer was a HUGE NO-NO at the time. someone important showing up for kiryu and welcoming him back outright could’ve caused#all-out warfare probably. except majima. because majima was dedicated and smart enough to use his widely-feared wildcard persona#(that everyone tended to view as incapable of having any Real agenda to worry about) to his And kiryu’s advantage#does that make sense??? I feel like it makes a lot of sense if you get it to click in your head#kazumaji#majima#kiryu#yakuza#kiwami 1#yk1#rambling
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Ryne and Gaia are like. Such good parallels and foils to each other it makes me just a little insane.
Like Ryne is sweet and caring and she always wants to help others and make them feel better even to the detriment of herself because she has seen and known suffering and doesn't want others to have to live like that too. If she can make someones life better, even if just a little bit, then she will. But she also puts everyone elses well-being and feelings so far above her own that she often ends up trying to help in a way that doesn't actually solve anything because it still ends up with someone hurt (such as trying to properly fuse with Minfilia knowing it might end up with herself disappearing). She's not a doormat, but she does have some people-pleasing tendencies.
Gaia, however, is the exact opposite. She's prickly and sarcastic and thinks of herself and her needs first and foremost, everyone else is secondary. It's not that she's cold or uncaring, she doesn't ignore people's problems, she just doesn't see them as her business most of the time (A product of being raised in Eulemore most likely). She doesn't consider the long-term outcome of what she does or says, she lives solely in the present and the future is a problem for when it happens.
These opposite traits also play into each other. Ryne inspires Gaia to care more about others and Gaia inspires Ryne to prioritize herself more. Gaia makes Ryne live more on the moment without thinking solely of what the future will bring, and Ryne makes Gaia think more on what her life will be going forward and to actually consider what she does and says and how that affects things. They feed into each others good traits (Ryne's caring nature and Gaia's sense of self) while also helping them deal with the bad traits (Ryne's people-pleasing and Gaia's aloofness).
Their pasts are good paralells too. Ryne was isolated and lonely until Thancred took her away but even then, he was distant and emotionally neglectful, so she ended up lonely in an entirely different way. Gaia had a family and caretakers that she wasn't particularly close to, but after the 'Fairy' started talking to her they got even further away until she couldn't even remember them, and the 'Fairy' was the closest thing she had to a friend even though it was what isolated her to begin with. Ryne had constant companionship but no support, and Gaia had 'support' but no companionship.
Even just. Regarding the whole identities thing they are just. Perfect. Ryne has lived with Minfilia's shadow on her shoulder her entire life and never got to learn who she actually is. She thought that she had to become Minfilia for her life to be worth anything, that it's the only way her existance is justified. The person closest to both her and Minfilia(Thancred) indicated(in her mind at least) that he wanted Minfilia to be here in Ryne's stead(which wasn't really the case but she didn't know that). The only way to get her out of that shadow was to remove her from the identity of Minfilia, hence why her new name is so important(as well as the hair and eyes being her natural colors instead of Minfilia's all too recognizable ones).
But Gaia didn't even know about Mitron or Loghrif until Eden. She had the 'Fairy', but to her it was just some voice in her head which was nice enough to her. To her, Loghrif is just some lady Mitron loved, she has no real connection to her. She has a connection to Mitron, both as the 'Fairy' and as remnant feelings from Loghrif, but none to Loghrif herself(aside from the obvious reincarnation stuff). Gaia has always been her name. It may have been Loghrif's originally, but she is so far removed from that identity that even for all of Mitron's effort to 'return' her to Loghrif, it'd never work. Loghrif is Gaia, but Gaia is not Loghrif. Simple as that.
Eden's story works so well because Ryne and Gaia are opposites in that specific way that compliments each other, rather than pits them against each other.
#idk if this is articulated properly i just have a lot of feelings about everything all the time#yes yes its another ryne post by yours truly. i am insane about her okay#ALSO this isnt even touching on the parallels between the resolution with the unhealthy dynamic between their 'guardian's#like ryne & thancred managed to confront the source of their issues regarding each other and move past it#they had the ability to create a healthier dynamic and by god they would work to make that happrn#and they did#whereas gaia & mitron seperated and let go of each other because it was the only positice outcome they could get#gaia couldnt let mitron hang on to a dead womans ghost and mitron cant make gaia into loghrif#but unlike with thancred & ryne theres no moving past loghrifs existance and effect on their dynamic#so the only option is to let go#(mitron was also MUCH further gone in grief and longing than thancred but the point still stands)#(even if mitron had the state of mind to be like. reasonable. i dont think he & gaia shouldve stayed around each other)#anyway. eden rules i love my little lesbians thats all good day/night/whatever time it is for u everyone#ryne waters#gaia#thancred waters#minfilia warde#mitron#loghrif#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#xander being insane about ryne
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do NOT give him the aux. or. anything else for that matter. (2/?)
@intertexts
#HI ROS. I DID IT. IVE BEEN THINKING ABT THIS LITERALLY ALL FUCKING DAY#same w mal.. colors r NOT final i was just being kind of lazy <3 but it still looks ok <3#but . hey! a new mask for him :]#this is based on one i saw that was supposed to look like it was made of leather. but i didnt feel like doing the details on it hsbdfskd#problem for another time !!!!!!!!!!#new haven wards#nhw sillies#digital art#sketch#ghostiezone#nhw trickster#jrwi pd
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Let me bitch and moan before posting positivity for a sec because Derek DLC doesn't make you feel like you're cheating on Cove if you're dating him because Derek is actually yours and Cove's friend so spending time with him and crashing to his place doesn't feel weird if you do a platonic route. Which is not the same for Baxter DLC because WDYM I CRASH TO BAXTER'S PLACE AFTER INTERACTING WITH HIM FOR 3 DAYS AFTER 5 YEARS HE GHOSTED ME WHAT THE FUCK-
#misty talks our life#our life#olba#derek suarez#misty talks baxter#baxter ward#BAXTER DLC SUCKS IF YOU GO ON PLATONIC ROUTE AND YES IT'S AN ISSUE BECAUSE THE GAME ADVERTISE ITSELF TO HAVE PLATONIC ROUTES#AND THAT IS JUST...WEIRD#idk man personally i wont be crashing to my ex friend house after we didnt see each other for 5 years??#like can we all agree that baxter dlc suck if you do the platonic route#and yes i should be to do the platonic route BECAUSE IS IN THE GAME ADVERTISEMENT#edit: HOUSE HOUSE I MEANT HOUSE#someone said to read my tags and then i realized my mistake#to make it clear going into the house of someone to stya for the night after youve seen each other for3 days is still bad#especially if youre dating cove bc why the fuck arent u going to your boyfriend/husband/fiance hotel?? like i get that is last minute and#the hotel didnt count for another guest but if not im sure jude and scott wouldnt mind if you and cove shared the guest room#BUT NO LET'S GO TO BAXTER'S GUEST ROOM IG???#IM JUST#AND AGAIN#YOUVE SEEN BAXTER AFTER 5 YEARS THAT HE GHOSTED YOU AND YOUVE SEEN EACH OTHER FOR A WEEK AT BEST#IS STILL WEIRD I ACCIDENTALLY MADE IT WORSE LMAO#misty spreading misinfo on the internet#oh and mind you cove stays at the hotel while you alone go to baxters apartment#this sounds more and more like a potentional thriller i wont lie
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Day 4 - AU - pokemon!
(hosted by @minthe-drawings !)
Do I really love something if I don't draw a pokemon au for it? Galar linoone is an obvious choice but purrloin (and liepard) seemed fitting cause he's definitely a pokemon contest boy.
I ended up being late cause it's past midnight again but 🥲
#baxter ward#baxtermcweek#another red hair memi since its step 3 baxter and she hadn't dyed it pink yet :)#their height difference looks different in every picture im just gonna pretend shes wearing different sized heels/platforms whatever#did you know if youre someone that draws at most once a month#trying to draw something each day will burn you out pretty damn quick? woops#i might rly take a break for day 5 but at the same time i wanna see it through 🥲#man ive been so busy trying to catch up i havent had time to go thru the tag and see everyone's submissions and follow other peeps......
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There are now 2 blue-haired Christian anime girls out there
#Luce#Tearmoon Empire#Tearmoon Teikoku Monogatari#Rafina Orca Belluga#Christianity#The Holy Principality of Belluga does borrow a lot of inspiration from the Vatican#But the author did explain why the in-universe reason why its governance is completely different#And semantics-wise the religion in Tearmoon Empire is called the Central Orthodox Church#So it didn't exactly sit right to just label it as Roman Catholicism#On another note#Hello I just came back from a double shift on my first day as a regular on a geriatrics ward
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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still can’t believe they won’t let you have stuffed animals in mental hospitals
#Like you’d think they’d let an emotionally distressed suicidal child have a comfort object but NOPE#According to my mom it’s because they’re worried you’ll hide drugs or razors or some shit.#How would I even open up my fucking plushie if I don’t have any sharp objects???#Getting drugged was also not fun#Seriously mental health care is fucked up in the US#I only spent ten days in a psych ward and I got ptsd from it#Not even joking#Yet another time when Spencer vents about their mental hospital stay#Seriously if I have to repeat it again because a certain someone harasses me I will just cry#I’m honestly too afraid to ever get a vaccine or shots or anything because I’m afraid it will trigger me#Fucked up 0/10 would no t recommend
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whoever told me that abjuration wizards suck were lying to my faceeee see this subclass is so cool. i guess if someone likes playing glass cannon wizards it's a shit class but this girl i've got is. well she is tormenting my dm is what she's doing. good class
#what you're gonna do is hit level six okay and you're gonna#cast mage armor on yourself and in addition to that since it's an abjuration spell you're gonna add arcane ward (temp hp)#and at lvl6 you can use a reaction to direct any damage an ally takes within 30 feet of you onto your arcane ward and you're gonna#cast shield when you need to (Careful tho. only one reaction per round. redirect damage Or shield) and since shield is also an abjuration#spell you're gonna take the level you cast it at and double it. and put that into your arcane ward's hp. any abjuration spell puts hp#back into the ward. MEANWHILE you're concentrating on witch bolt. and you're not even risking con saves because you Aren't Getting Hit#so you are essentially nullifying damage that others take (if your ward hp depletes you take the remaining damage and can't cast it again)#while frying people alive every turn forever and ever until they die or go out of range. bless this bizarre combat medic wizard build#i don't have the numbers but i know a'velle took a good half of the fight's damage on her own and only lost 2hp in the fight#one day i decided that i wanted to play a combat medic wizard. and then i was like. wow this is not useful. and then level 6 hit#miss girl was standing there crit-frying a crocodile alive while waiving damage over to her ward and boosting its hp with bonus actions#gotta say. the fight was two crocs and a couple of little guys. miss girl dropped both of the crocs#NOO WAIT THE WARD DOESN'T DROP AT 0HP I JUST HAVE TO CAST ANOTHER ABJURATION SPELL. WOAG
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My january work schedule is literally just nighshifts with 2 mornings between them, they sniffed out the insomniac
#nursing#HELL YEAAAAA#i am a nightshifter thru and thru#only problem is that i can't sleep the next day so i get home at 7am and just live in a limbo#the head nurse gave me one nighsift at another ward as a test and ever since the nurse iw orked with said i was perfect for that#i started getting so many nighshifts since no one normal wants them lol#but i have one morning shift after a nightshift that one will kill me 100%#and we are so understaffed and there are 3 vacations and 2 sick leaves
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mmaster hcief
#personal! ok idk why but i am in such a bad fucking mood after realizing that yet another year has passed where my father hasnt like.#really ??? cared ??? i dont know man my parents are taking me out to eat but i didnt get a text or a call or anything#like man i know im not the one thats ur blood child but come on i remember yours and wish you every year :(#my mom only really remembered when i showed up and jokingly was like “ey next time you see me ill be a whole year older”#this week has sucked so bad brother i hope it wont set the tone for the next year LKHL:D:FLGHK#happy birthday more like KILL YOURSELF INSTANTLY POTION#god only like my friends and two family members remembered im realizing. fuuuuuuuuuck. not even the people i live with minus my fiance#i only exist to these people when its time to talk behind somebodys back brother#maybe i drive my car into a tree tomorrow ^_^ in theory itd be good for me but at the end of the day if these people didnt care when i went#to the fucking mental ward for plotting to kill myself i doubt theyd care if i bled out in a ditch either#they never called or visited they just picked me up and told me to never do that shit again#maybe i should have Not been born...............!#ermmm#personal#vent#i guess. idk. just so if people have those tags blocked itll get filtered or whatever#i probably shouldnt just throw this out into the wild but i dont want to directly bother anybody i know rn idk.
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ofc on my final day at this workplace we r understaffed, im the only resident at work and the ward is full 🤡
#im just running through patient history and examination#so i can start their treatments on time bc its scheduled txs#and then ill do another ward round from the top to recheck everyone#and ofc my attending this final day is the one guy that never comes to the ward 🤡#back to work aaa#burrito talks#not fandom related#delete later
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"You're going to need a compelling reason to gain entry to Inazuma..."
My compelling reason is I need wood from there to make a purple bed for my teapot house.
#ghostprince posts#Genshin Impact#videogames#Very behind on story stuff obviously but after several days of avoiding it I finally finished the Dainslief quest (by using Amber to solo a#Ruin Hunter. Took forever but I'm proud of her) saw the Lumine reveal and now we're finally on our way to the next region!#Gonna be 2024 by the time I get to Sumeru since I still want to 100% Mondstat and Liyue + I don't wanna do the regions out of order/go to#Sumeru without it being time for it in the story. I've already technically done some stuff out of order since I did the Chasm before#Dainslief's quest and event cutscenes + character stories have been on a timeline thats innacurate to me + assumed knowledge of events/#characters/regions/etc that I don't (/canonically) have.#We're sort of getting on track though!#Glad I stopped playing this game when I did since it was causing problems for me. But also wish I'd started again sooner cuz I've missed so#much. But also glad I started again now since it gave me another chance to pick up where I left off in getting my favourite character and#being able to play as him has made this a lot of fun for me outside of the story elements. So... one step at a time in trying to just#enjoy myself at my own pace and hopefully ward off the stress of missing out on various limited-time events/rewards/characters.#+ I'm maybe in a bit of a better position to self-regulate what the problem was in the first place now? Let's assume I'm 'more mature'?#I have a lot of issues but I'm... maybe not working on them but I guess trying to not be overcome by some specific ones? And also trying to#stop spamming the discord server with updates about my every move in this game or go off about it to anyone who's willing to pretend they'r#listening ahaha. Trying to be less annoying basically. Might start talking outloud to the cat again. But! For now: New region that I#actually haven't seen any of the gameplay or visuals of (I don't think) so this should be interesting!#And purple :)#This has been my videogame update on Tumblr.com
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#spent a few hours with mom at the hospital#the doctors and nurses are saying she’s made good progress#and that she’ll be fine#it’ll just take a few days for recovery#it was just so hard seeing her like that#like she’s better than yesterday apparently (I didn’t see her)#and I’m glad that I didn’t because if I was crying today I wouldn’t have been able to handle seeing the state she was in yday#dad cried when he saw her yday#so I laid in bed with her today#held her hand#we listened to some worship music together#and I prayed for her#I genuinely believe she’ll be fine but it’s just a matter of getting through the recovery stage#think they’re gonna move her out of icu to another ward tmr morning
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i wanna run with the wolves and pull the pin on control
#helloooo#so anyway#i have decided like.. i HAVE to get better i CANNOT kee living the way i have been#like there have been multiple days this months i thought i was gonna die. for real#and for some reason god won’t let me#i CANNOT afford another psych ward visit. like financially and my mom would kill me#like i just can’t. i cannot handle this. but i will out of spite#i think.. ive been doing ok for a couple days. for the first time in a while.#a lot i can’t process myself but it will be Vaulted until i can get a therapist or something#0.png#emocore#gothcore#trans#emo boy#goth boy#goth makeup
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