#just a mirror for the sun
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Now let us drink the stars, it's time to steal away Let's go get lost right here in the USA Let's go get lost, let's go get lost
#Blue you sit so pretty west of the one#Sparkles light with yellow icing#just a mirror for the sun#Just a mirror for the sun#Just a mirror for the sun..#These smiling eyes are just a mirror for...#🎶#I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR#i cant help but listen to Road Tripin' and think of them im sorry#cyberpunk#cyberpunk 2077#oc: mayumi ''blue'' kayoh#oc: Blue#johnnysilverhand#johnny silverhand#v cp2077#cp 77#cp 2077#cp77#cp2077#cp2077 photomode#cyberpunk77#johnny silverhand x v#silverhand
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(insp)
#lokius#mobius#loki#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#the way i paused a different lokius angst set to make this one after seeing the insp 😭😭#like they truly are every form of love tragedy and admiration just completely unable to look away from each other??#a captivation which frees them just long enough to realize everything they've ever wanted has somehow become centered in their lives#yet just that little bit too close to the sun to keep ;;;;;;;#tbh almost giffed the reverse pov with a different scene and might still because the mirroring of their connection drives me INSANE#as always i was following you no i was following you 😔#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs
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if i’m not drawing domestic timkon who am i…..
based on this piece by ernest chiriacka
#timkon#kon el#kon-el#conner kent#tim drake#bart (as in bug art)#i was originally gonna have they just switching who’s doing what in the og piece but i thought about it too hard :P#dc#dc comics#young justice#young just us#the lamp need to the mirror is a red sun lamp#next time i’m drawing them in costume 👍
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You guys seemed to really like the eclipse dude so I drew aum again [this time with colour]
#zoc scrambled#zoc artwork#zoc shack#rain world#rw oc#rw iterator#EGMSBUAME... Guy with ten million shorthand names#mirror pronouns :]#Eyes Gleaming of Midnight Sun // Born Under A Mesmerising Eclipse#First half is it's actual name second half is more like. A group name? But not really since they're not in a group? so it's just part of#It's name? Xey share that half of the name with someone#Looks at C
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Somebody remind me to blaze this on give Tumblr some money caturday
#cat#cat pic#caturday blazeathon#rainbow#not a filter or anything added to the pic#it was just the sun hitting a mirror the right way
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what draws you back to your country what draws you back to your land when i was a kid i told myself if i ever left iran i'd never go back 2 years into living in the UK i started looking at news on iran again 10 years in and i visited it for the first time again and today i heard an iranian mother talk in farsi to her child on the train to london the way my mother used to and i wanted to cry i wanted to ask her whether they're still cutting the mountaintops whether the lakes are still drying today i showed the person i was with pictures of waterfalls and palaces and forests and snow-white north something odd pulls me back with increasing force i can't ignore it ever again
#i just dont know how else to tell you everything !!! santoor from a different room the large family gathering the black tea with saffron#drank out of delicate glass and gold vessels cold marble on hot nights big stars big rivers big mountains#visible from busy tehran roads the ease of conversation tension eased by sarcasm tall tall cliffsides you drive by#rushing to put on headscarves before the head teacher comes in a rave by the base of damavand massive sun pastel purple skies#disjunct architecture trucks on road sides with fresh fruits pomegranates watermelons oranges everywhere#the smell of golpar on tangerines beautiful girls in tehran holding hands bautiful boys in kermanshah speaking kurdish the janky#cars on the verge of breakdown held together by love caspian sea lighting up in spring staying up into the morning on noruz#my friends uncle sang and played setar his son played the violin a little fear a lot of love remnants of something#grand carved into the cliffside everything feels bigger taller the landscape swallows you it smells like#illegally imported wine and orange blossoms and auntie's tahchin soaking your eyes in warm tea when youre sick#tomatoes and salt concrete and stone something mandmade and something raw new flag old resilience#the anger getting to us bruised eyes big grin all i know is the north i feel sorry my mother asks if id be okay#if they got a place in tajikistan we love each other enough dont we? when we look in the mirror we see each other. theres a love letter#across the border and it says I MISS YOU IM GLAD YOURE DOING BETTER itll never be the same im not okay with it at all there are no more#stars i miss jumping over big fires i miss our fireworks im sorry we cant be happy anymore everyone#leaves the mint and rosewater and sunlight for a reason.#it's not pride it's just generational regret
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Who is Sun's best friend? You are!
Day 1 of DCA Promptober - best friend
#loaf art#fnaf daycare attendant#fnaf sun#sundrop#y/n#dcatober24#yes y/n is wearing a paper plate mask because I couldn't figure out a design I was happy with given the limited time frame#though it fits with the arts and crafts aesthetic I like drawing#honestly my favorite part of this is the Roxy hand mirror - I thought of that on the fly once I determined I needed one for Sun to hold#Roxy branded beauty products make sense and could very well be in-universe merchandise sold by FazEnt at the 'plex#can’t believe I was able to draw this in a day after 1.5 months of inactivity!#after a shift at work even!#and I just barely got this out in time to get a posted date of Oct 1st
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🫐‧₊˚ ☁️⋅𓂃♡𓂃 ࣪🪻 ִֶָ☾.
#me <3#mirror selfie#todays outfit#outfit check#summer outfits#girlblogging#im just a girl#hell is a teenage girl#daddy issues#father issues#girlhood#older men do it better#this is a girlblog#older men younger women#girlblogger#girlblog#this is girlhood#just girly things#attention wh0r3#older men <3#lana del rey#me#girl stuff#girly outfit#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lizzy grant#lana del rey aesthetic#lana del ray#sun dress#lana del slay
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Two sides of the same coin!
#in stars and time#isat#isat game#in stars and time game#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#lego monkie kid#lmk#isat loop#isat siffrin#in stars and time loop#in stars and time siffrin#lego monkie kid macaque#lmk six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#lego monkie kid sun wukong#lmk fanart#lego monkie kid fanart#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#the bitter ocean arts#digital doodle#digital drawing#digital art#isat act 6 secret encounter spoilers#implied?? man okay like for the people who get the parallels you can understand why it’s tagged that way#idk man there’s something interesting about analyzing a character whose a mirror reflection of you#two halves of the same flawed whole. and you hate them just as much as you wish you could be them#that when you look at them you see this is what I could’ve been and yet a part of me remains in you still#etc etc. idk I like narrative foils and I like analyzing shadows/mirror reflections/ clones of characters reaching their own identity
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this isnt helping my obsession with biker!simon ‼️‼️‼️
#twinkie broke someones side mirror bc they kept cutting him off apparently!! i support his wrongs!!!!!#<- twinkie is his actual codename 😭 sorry just wanted to clarify#biker!simon#simon ghost riley#suns
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milex highlights from the studio brussel interview (x)
#just my favourite little deranged men being deranged#i feel like we don't talk about this interview enough#the wistful little stares#alex constantly reaching out to be in miles's space#the way they immediately look at at each other to share their laughter and amusement#alex caressing the back of miles's head in time to 'i'll follow the sun'#mirroring body language#alex looking down at miles and then reaching up for what appears to be his own nipple??? 😭#deranged#i love all these little micro moments so much#i love THEM so much#(but that's not really news is it lol)#milex#milex gifs#tlsp#the last shadow puppets#arctic monkeys#alex turner#miles kane#my gifs#lulu posts
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Part 4 of the short comic
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6
Moon is not really getting better at the whole being friendly to old ones thing but atleast he is calm now
#dca fnaf#fnaf moon#fnaf sb#moondrop#daycare attendant#daycare attendant x y/n#my art#automaton au#i realize now how moon centric this is#well next comic will have more sun in it i promise#but i am just a sucker for grumpy moon#also yes y/n has been the one tying all the ribbons into the old juniper#and they mirror it by putting flowers into y/n hair#cuties#also moon is slightly jealous of all the attention the old juniper is getting poor him
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So iconic of us butches that we have our own sun and moon lesbian flags.
#butchy babbles#butch#butch lesbian#butch dyke#sun lesbian#moon lesbian#lesbian#butch boy#butch gender#masc lesbian#trans masc butch#transmasc butch#trans butch thoughts#trans butch#also in case you don't know - this is a joke! these are both butch flags that were created independently of the sun/moon lesbian flag idea#i tend to prefer the left because it just feels so ... unique for butchhood. and symbolizes the kind of warm chivalrous masculinity i-#-want to have.#that and the right was designed to mirror the lipstick lesbian flag which feels a little weird.#but if you like it please! use it! by all means. queer flags are communal symbols and their creation usually doesn't hold much weight
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Well. hrm. the way they all connect to each other. like it’s all starting to look like a circle of some sort. jess as rory’s mirror/reflection/narrative foil but also jess as he pertains to luke and jess as he pertains to lorelai. luke breaking the church bells luke who says he was troubled but they gave him a chance and just bc a kid has issues doesnt mean they don’t deserve that. luke who is a figure placed against the rest of the town, just in the sense that he is not like them, he does not hold their values, he doesn’t even sound like them. which is of course a result of scott patterson’s new york accent, but adds to this theme anyway. and they use jess to build this picture, because they walk the same and talk the same and they’re stubborn—independent to a near self-endangering degree—and emotionally repressed in the same way and luke himself admits that he spent more time working at his dad’s shop than he did at school, which jess also does. but jess and luke are also. very very different when you get past these similar values that are maybe ingrained into them through different circumstances and same genetic makeup. and in their differences you get a lot of jess and lorelai’s similarities. when it comes to their family dynamics and how it’s affected them in particular. it’s made them independent yes, but it’s also made them hypervigilant, almost paranoid in the way they are allergic to accepting help and especially accepting help from the people who hurt them. jess only goes to his mother’s wedding because luke asks him to, lorelai only asks her parents for money because rory needs it for school. and they, and this is where they differ from luke, don’t know how to trust people and so they don’t know how to talk to people. where luke’s particular brand of emotional constipation comes from a general cluelessness as to how to do it—which is why the tapes helped him so much—lorelai and jess’ come from emotional responses to the situations they grew up in. while it was different—lorelai growing up rich, jess growing up poor—the effect it had on them still resulted in something similar. lorelai with her overbearing manipulative mother and (emotionally) absent father, and jess with his neglecting manipulative mother and (in all senses of the word) absent father. the ways that, despite their effort to distance themselves, they still end up with similar mannerisms to the parent they have the most conflict with (lorelai and her controlling nature + that scene where they have the same nighttime routine, jess and his love for books + tendency to run away). and of course, their romanticism. their big confessions and period drama-esque speeches and, yeah, i do think in a way jess was asking rory to marry him in 4x21. come with me. let’s get married. luke and rory both being the most important people in their lives. literati+javajunkie where they are all melding into each other, and luke is rory and lorelai is jess but on the surface level dynamic luke is jess and lorelai is rory and they are all each other. on accident. by sheer nature of making jess as a character for the sole purpose of interfering with luke and lorelai’s relationship (which means he is important narratively to them both) and by making him rory’s love interest/foil (because ASP casted him before she even had the idea for the character) you have now made an accidental blending of them all together. he is like a skeleton key of a character. Okay. okay.
#clocking in for my shift at the pattern recognition factory#literati#javajunkie#gilmore girls#i was also going to talk about how rory is ALSO a skeleton key of a character similar to how jess is because.#well all the lines about how she is ‘just like her mother’ wrt stubbornness and defiancy and iron will. but it was already. very long. so.#i’ll save it for another post.#and in that post i’ll probably talk about rory and jess and their dads and luke also. bc that is also missing from this post.#sorry they are so mucu.#so much.#literatijavajunkie is the sun that this show revolves around.#also ties into how jess literally is the only side character that is also a Main Character. in this show.#like compared to rorys other boyfriends where their only importance is to rorys character. jess is like. essential to the narrative.#which is why he’s the one that almost got a spin-off show. he has the functions of a main character the exact same way rory does.#which is why the show would have been about him and HIS dad. literally a direct mirror to the concept of a show about a daughter and a mom.#whatever this is all going to be. in another post.#there are more screenshots to be gathered anyway.#ggwatch#gg meta
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I just want to say, as a certified monster fucker, I'm already in love with your story hahaaa <3 I'm glad we're getting more adult stories and the themes in this one are so intriguing, can't wait for the rest ! Alsooo, I really liked the way you describe things? I do not know how to explain it haha but I could easily visualize what was happening and the general atmosphere you're going for and I thought that was neat :^)
thank you so much for your kind words!! i truly appreciate them and i'm so glad the descriptions were to your liking! i have at least some level of aphantasia, so i'm always worried that i'm not describing things enough haha... glad that doesn't seem to be the case!
i was actually talking to my friends just yesterday about how there's relatively few Creacher-y ROs around... so for whatever reason, i guess because it's on my mind, i thought i'd take a bit of time/space here to mention all of the Monsterfucker Approved (TM) ROs that i could come up with, in case anyone else might be interested. this list isn't meant to be exhaustive (in case i miss anyone) as sadly i am yet to become all-seeing and all-knowing 😔
Creacher (Alien)
Rhaxa and Imxa from Project Hadea by my beloved @nyehilismwriting. spikey, scaley, bitey, etc. 👌i also love and appreciate the attention to detail put into worldbuilding for the different ways their species communicates and thinks and so on, showing the culture gaps between them and humans. quality buggies!
Creacher (Eldritch)
Roach from The Passenger... the mc is also an eldritch creacher in this one, which may add or subtract to the enjoyment for various different people lol
Sysba from Attollo; i also think this game in general is pretty monster friendly, with a bunch of monstrous side characters and so forth. the cool kind of neo-gothic vibes give it a feeling a bit akin to a cyberpunk Penny Dreadful... it's about as Monsterfucker as cyberpunk gets i think!
Beacon from Stygian: The Abyssal Lighthouse by my good friend @salty-stories. this one is probably the most Lovecraftian of the eldritch creachers i think, heavy Call of Cthulhu vibes. it's still in progress but i'm personally willing to wait haha
Creacher (Parahuman)
Lorelei and The Other from The Golden Harp; pirates and sirens and mermaids, oh my!
Danny and Isla from When It Hungers by the wonderful @roast-ifs ... the game is still on hiatus but it still lives rent-free in my head always... the monster mcs are So *chef's kiss*
Oisein from The Nameless; due to the sheevra mc there's a Lot of really cool exploration of the boundaries of humanity and stuff like that... we love a "nonhumans shouldn't be able to feel/do this" story... we love it a Normal amount for sure.
Creacher (Indefinable)
Trace from Greenwarden by @fiddles-ifs; an iconique creacher... the game itself also has excellent kind of Appalachian gothic/supernatural vibes and a dark undercurrent of Lurking Monster Foreboding.
Games with Applicably Creacher-esque Vibes
Virtue's End by my beloved friend dani... the ROs might be human, but the mc most certainly is not<3 dark fantasy and sumptuous Monster vibes, what more can you ask?
anything by the extremely talented @thirtybythirty (links to their games in their pinned post). everything they write has a compelling undercurrent of... eldritch existentialism. perhaps the creacher is in fact the Narrative... or maybe the humans were the creachers all along...
the fabulous OFNA: Birds of a Feather - it has the perfect combination of things Not Quite Human and Not Quite Right to create a rich and ominous atmosphere, well-worth playing even though everyone is Technically human lmfao
anyway sorry for rambling on and i'm sure there's a bunch i have missed but. i do feel like it's worth giving praise where it's due for games and writers that we appreciate! thank you again for your kind message (and for giving me a chance to talk about this a bit lol)
#what does the chaos mirror see#glucosify#long post.#passing these notes out at the monthly monsterfucker conference#sorry to put trace in their own category but. also i feel like they'd have it no other way lmfao#avoiding putting my games on here like a good boi... especially the ones i haven't written yet#there's also sort of monster-adjacent things like leftski-if's orcs and werewolves but#there sort of opens up a rabbithole once you get into. Nontypical Humanoids#like i had this problem with a lot of demon!ROs as well they're kind of. Mostly Human#like don't get me wrong i enjoyed keeper of the sun and moon for example but the cambions and nephilim are not. Particularly Inhuman#however obviously my categorisations are very arbitrary and i'm not. gatekeeping monsters XD just for the sake of this post not being longe
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BE A MIRROR [3]
An Au when Sun is dead (by Nexus), Dark Sun pretends to be Sun while trying to find some way to revive him in secret. Nexus is having a mental breakdown, maybe get some redemption later. Everyone is not having a good time except Sun, that poor boy only when he is dead (temporarily) can get some rest.
Summary: In this AU, This is the time when Sun and Dark Sun start gradually becoming quite closer. They were still very wary of each other, but more or less, it was less tense than before.
What is the value of a life? If a human life is priceless, then how much pain and suffering does Sun have to pay for his sins so he can wash all the blood off his hands?
Technically, he has never killed anyone. It's always Moon, or Eclipse, or Bloodmoon or someone else. Sun was always the 'innocent' one in everything.
And isn't it ironic that Sun, after everything, is still at the center of all the destruction, like a curse that brings death?
The reason why he used so much detergent to clean himself and everything in daycare. Or how sometimes Sun would see a red color at the edges of his eyes that wasn't there, or feel a sickly dirt like mud stuck to his metal shell.
It feels like a sign that his subconscious is trying to say something is wrong that Sun actively ignores.
"Are you always this dazed when playing games or do I myself always have a special honor to experience it?"
An annoying voice rang in Sun's ear, something Sun had been trying to ignore for the past 15 minutes or so but failing miserably.
Sun never thought hearing his own voice could be so unpleasant. He always felt a little bit self conscious about his voice because his voice was quite high, but being the one to hear it directly, made him feel sorry for his listeners because he used to speak very loudly in the past.
A face identical to his, with a bland smile that never reached the bottom of their eyes and empty red eyes that seemed to have given up on the world, this annoying visitor often appeared at random times and only left when they wanted.
"Why did you keep breaking into my house here? Do you have anything to do? Moon is busy in his lab, just go and put your cryptid show on him." Sun asked weakly. He didn't really expect an answer, knowing that it would only lead to a metaphorical can of worms that he never wanted to open.
After the appearance of M–Nexus… Dark Sun became Moon's lower threat enemy. The priority one is Nexus. His brother was busy in the lab with Ruin and Puppet, tracking Nexus's whereabouts.
Moon invited him to go, but honestly, he couldn't help, with all the complicated AI and quantum physics theories that both Ruin and Moon knew so well… It would be better for Sun if he just stayed home. And practice magic.
It is really weird that both Moon and Puppet's machines can rarely see the Dark Sun. He is like a ghost in the eyes of the “All-Seeing One” and these geniuses. And everytime, Dark Sun shows up, there is something troubling, again.
"Can't I come see what I'm doing?" Dark Sun hummed, he looked at Sun and up at the television screen playing "Cult of the Lamb" in what, if Sun didn't know better, he would have considered a look of disgust but nostalgia.
"Don't make me laugh, you always want something, mister 'I don't care about anything unless it benefits me somehow'.”
Sun focused on the final boss, his hoarse voice box echoing a dull rhythm. There was no response, just a slight movement that shook the soft sofa he was sitting on. A bright yellow body chose a comfortable position right in the center of the chair, blatantly, something Sun himself would never be comfortable enough to do so. Too much open space, too few grip points. There is a feeling of being exposed and naked shaking Sun’s inexistent skin, causing Sun's system to always flash an unpleasant red warning.
Why even though the Creator hates them so much, he's still so invested in a delicate area like emotions?
What does a robot need emotions for?
Just to feel dead in the feet and hope tomorrow will not be worse than today?
There was a brief moment of depression as he thought about his hated father, before hearing a solid sound with a slight accent, almost like that British Ruin loved to show off himself with.
Is it self-awareness because Dark Sun feels like he shouldn't be too similar to Sun so he behaves more like Ruin?
Sun's AI brain weaves its way through logical thoughts, morphing and dancing in the form of 1s and 0s.
The bright light on the screen was almost a hypnotic drug, making Sun reduce the stress he felt that had been present since Dark Sun arrived.
“I've played this game before too… Too much management and responsibility, not really my taste.”
Sun suppressed his bites. 'If that's the case, why don't you just leave me alone?', but he was too tired, he no longer had the strength to care or even respond.
The space sank into silence again, with bustling electronic noise, almost like white noise, lulling Sun into a feeling of sleepiness.
“Orange juice?”
"Right?" Sun nodded confusedly. On the table top of them are just a glass of orange juice, and it's always been orange juice for the past few weeks, nothing has changed. Why does Dark Sun act like it's odd?
“Hmm.” Dark Sun hummed. “No more wine?”
"I do not drink alcohol anymore." Sun replied defensively, feeling as if he was ruffling feathers. He was so tired of these jokes from Monty and Puppet or those concerns from Earth that he is drinking too much or he is an alcoholic, he didn't need any more words from that guy.
“The other day it seemed like it was a lie.”
Things start to become awkward.
No one said anything next, neither Sun nor Dark Sun wanted to rekindle the event that caused the annual stormy evenings where Dark Sun appeared unusually with lies like this, just to hang out with Sun.
Something about Dark Sun always comes on cloudy days.
It wasn't exactly raining, as it seemed stormy and the water here almost never reached the island.
No, it was the kind of weather where the stifling oppressive heat of the sun turned everything gray, of the wind being quiet and the sunset melting on the edge of sand crumbs torn apart by the tide.
Perhaps it was dramatic, as the nature of every Sun and Moon had always been inherited from their 'dear father' in every line of code. To choose to always appear in those moments when gray shards as smooth as egg whites are whipped to the edge of the sky, like a novice chef's masterpiece blend with a child trying to beat the paper with paint. Sun just hides it better than Moon, and at the same time he has too much anxiety and lacks energy to be able to continue that ‘dramatic role’ for long.
Dark Sun appears, it's almost like looking into a distorted mirror, that never allows you to see your true self form but always in some deformed variation.
Sun's stupid thought was that Dark Sun always appeared at this time because he wanted to match the name they gave him.
“I don't really care if you drink or not.” Dark Sun hummed, stood up and casually walked into the kitchen as if he owned the place, taking out two shiny bottles of wine. Dark Sun's rays of light twisted and moved with each step of Dark Sun like the way a cat wags its tail when something stimulates its curiosity.
“Isn't it tiring trying to please everyone?”
The reddish brown color ripples in the glass bottle, like the enticement of the snake in the Garden of Eden. Annoyed at the way he was being read so clearly, Sun grabbed the bottle from Dark Sun's hand and gulped it down.
Then one sip.
One more sip.
Another sip…
One more… and one more…
The smell of alcohol spread in the air and rippled in Sun's hands. The bell clanged against the side of the jar, perhaps a few drops of wine got on the red cloth wrapped around Sun's wrist.
“Hmm… How long has it been since you drank? And I'm not talking about 'last time'.” Dark Sun took a sip.
The person in front of him was indifferent, calmly took the controller in Sun's hand and chose to sacrifice instead of killing the boss like Sun was trying to do. That fucker even killed Sun's first apostle without hesitation.
“Weeks… Months? Before that Moo–n… Nexus… They, Earth didn't like me doing this very much. So I switched to soda.”
“But soda is horrible.”
“Yeah… It tastes really bad.” The alcohol made Sun chuckles.
“I don't understand why they are so worried. Aren't we all robots?”
“That's exactly what I said, and the bottle, it's just this small…”
“It's not enough to make me dizzy…”
Sun's voice sounded like he was shouting, he leaned back in his chair, wondering why everything seemed so normal.
Why did he let Dark Sun in, why did he only warn Moon about Dark Sun's appearance, but never about the moments when they sat down to play games and drink together.
A song and dance Sun and Dark Sun, forcefully have played with each other so damn countless times, with Dark Sun’s words always lurking menace behind them, and his clichés about tentative plans for an uncertain future, entangled in the webs of lies like the strings of a puppeteer, that Sun cannot understand and does not want to understand.
As always, Dark Sun will appear suddenly when Sun is alone, asking random questions about someone who is not there as if hoping that Sun has the answer before they both sit down and play games or just drink together.
How did their relationship become like this? Sun really didn't know.
About how it started or why it continued, even though he knew Dark Sun had a hidden agenda and was only taking advantage of him, even though both of them know they can never be friends, when Dark Sun is still actively a threat to Sun's family.
Perhaps it was the feeling of being understood without being wanted that drew them together. Both are like two sides of the same coin, over time they have been destroyed in different ways that cannot be repaired or came back.
Like trying to pour water into a broken vase, a meaningless action that only crazy people and idiots would continue to do.
If Sun fills that void in his chest with family, with cleaning, with giving himself a purpose to live for. Then Dark Sun just tries to destroy everything by himself to escape from reality. He surrounds himself with a layer of armor full of spikes, blocking anyone who wants to enter, numbing all his feelings until the days they become too hard to crack.
It was a strange thing that Sun wanted to say he understood that feeling, and sometimes, sometimes, he longed for it.
Not like M-New Old Moon, Nexus tearing down and throwing away everything, heading down a path of destruction without even caring how much it affects everyone. A liar, a liar, a liar. Words mumbling in Sun’s head like there is still someone in there. A bitter and sick to his stomach whenever Sun thinks about this... brother.
No, what Sun wants to talk about here is about just being alone and normal, where you just live and don’t have to care or need to care about anyone.
Why did Sun say that? Such ungrateful things about his family, who care deeply about him?
Maybe because that love and care that his family gave Sun sometimes felt like a burning fire, that made him burn when he touched.
Maybe because he just wants to look and care from afar, but doesn't want to touch or be close to them?
Sun loved Earth, she was the best sister he could ask for.
Sun also cherishes Lunar, his mischievous, sometimes crazy younger brother, who acts innocent and childish but actually a stone cold brat from the inside due to the trauma and manipulation that Eclipse caused, sometimes make Sun feels like looking at a twisted combination of him and Moon with sharp words and intelligence hidden in Lunar’s starry eyes.
Despite all the miserable things his brothers put him through and even now, despite the smoldering bitterness still gnawing at his heart, Sun also loves Moon with all his heart, both old and new.
But sometimes, Sun just wants to stay away. It's confusing to say, but Sun is fine with the occasional game together and these terrible jokes, but when stepping into the boundary of care and love, Sun just wants to stay away or cower like a maggot.
It is not worth it.
Sun is not worth it.
Sun doesn't deserve that love and attention.
Why are people always so close, so demanding, so caring to him?
Why does the way Moon tries to make amends, or Earth visits him more and more often, or Lunar gives him a touch or a knowing look, make him sicker than this evil version of himself sitting here? .
Dark Sun doesn't care. Dark Sun never cared. He was just using Sun as a distraction. Or a backup of a backup of a backup of some… he doesn't know, maybe some of his evil plans.
But strangely, Sun feels so comfortable. It's like breathing fresh air. A collar that has been taken out, making Sun easy to breathe. They are not even the same, with totally completely different personalities and intelligence. Heck, even Dark Sun doesn't like “Cult of the Lamb” or he is being too manipulative and indifferent to Sun's liking.
But their essence was still Sun, and even though Sun was stupid, he could still see the core features still there, behind the worn and distorted exterior of a person named Dark Sun. And isn't it disgusting, to feel more comfortable with a version so different and so similar to yourself than with your loved one?
Self-destruction is a curse. A realization lit up in Sun's head, realizing how in the way Eclipses all hated Moon but still wanted his approval, how Solar was scared of Moon but still supported him like a workaholic, how Ruin hated Moon’s guts so much but he still appreciated Moon’s intelligence.
Something about them all have things in common. They all hate, if not hate, then blatantly looking down at Sun, or consider Sun to be too dumb to consist as a threat.
Once may be a coincidence, but two or three people agree on the same opinion, then it’s not their fault, but him. Perhaps, it's just the truth that Sun hates himself so much that his code is passed on to others that are embedded in their subconscious hatred for Sun.
That's the hard truth. Sun just despises himself.
And Dark Sun even hated Sun, and his hatred and critics caused Sun more discomfort than others.
But surprisingly, it's also more comfortable…
Maybe it's because Dark Sun hates him, not because he's stupid or helpless.
Dark Sun hates him because he was once Sun, because he knows Sun can do better...
And because this hate is as familiar as an old blanket. A phantom pain, like the way his body twitched slightly and his fan ran a little too fast when he was in a closed space or he saw something red in the corner of Sun’s eyes.
Though, this hatred goes both in the same places.
Sun hates how Dark Sun can look straight in Sun’s soul to determine how much he is worth. He also hates how Dark Sun shows how bad Sun can become.
He also hated Dark Sun because actually he was just Sun, it was just circumstances that made that person change, that makes Dark Sun different.
This is sick, disgusting even..
There must be something wrong that happened with Sun, which could cause Sun to have thoughts of sympathizing with this person's actions and thoughts, like Dark Sun deserves sympathy.
Their hate draws each other closer like a fragile chain, an unhealthy relationship, a deceitful friendship of one side covering their eyes and the other covering their ears.
“I wish if you hated me so much, you could just kill me instead of approaching me like this.”
It was dark outside. With only the buzzing sound of the game console and his cats in the basement.
“You… You guys… are all the same… Why can't I have a normal day…”
Sun didn't know if it was him talking or the bottle of wine talking. That's strange... Sun shouldn't be drunk, the bottle is really too small.
“Maybe if I close my eyes and then open them again, all this… crazy stuff will go away… I'll just be me, a regular Sun…”
“And you would accept that? Instead of taking charge of your own destiny, you just want to lie there like a snail waiting to die, right?”
A silence responded. Sun raised his eyes... Red electronic light flashed behind the milky white shell seemingly annoyed.
“Just keep chewing like that day after day. Crying and moaning like that, Sun, do you think it would solve anything?"
“I just don't know what to do…” Sun mumbled, his hand wrapped tightly around the bottle of wine, hugging it to his chest as if he wanted it to protect him.
“You will die soon in the future if you stay like this.”
The words were indifferent and cold, as if reflecting a truth, a truth that Sun had witnessed many times in different dimensions, and in the dimensions that Dark Sun showed Sun.
“ Like I don't know. ” Sun's shadow shines in front of the piece of glass, revealing a sad and exhausted face. The eyes, once bright blue, had turned white since the day Sun used magic to expel Eclipse from Sun's head.
A silence, nearly peaceful silence, between their two, like hands in hand in the drawing sea.
“Oh… Hmm… By the way, I accidentally killed Narinder.”
There was silence. And then the scream that followed almost alarmed the other side of the island.
“YOU SON OF B%TCH!!! WHY DID YOU KILL MY WIFE!!!”
#i hate that i dont know enough of word to write about they two#they are not friends#they never can be friends#they are not acquainted#it complicated#they just know eachother and doesn't care enough to judge#strangely Sun's self esteem has been upgraded#sun and moon show#tsams#the sun and moon show#sams#tsams sun#sams sun#tsams moon#tsams dark sun#to be a mirror au
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