#just a little test for a larger project i'm working on but i liked it enough to share

[poison-breadth]

Six Months

[bamfkeeper]

Kurt going absolutely feral if he sees you hurt, you never expected him to be so vicious.

I think sometimes people get caught up in his playfulness and kind hearted nature but can be absolutely vicious when he wants to be. If you got hurt in battle or if someone hurt you in any way, he'd lose his mind.

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, descriptions of injuries and blood/cleaning wounds, gender neutral reader, unedited ignore mistakes.

WC: 1.4k

Kurt loves you so much, and he shows it every single chance he gets. He's thoughtful, patient, and he listens to you whenever you need him to. Sometimes his friends forget what he's capable of under all that sweetness he displays. You do too.

You never saw him go all out in the Danger Room. Most of the time, training by his side consisted of Kurt sticking to you like glue and protecting you. You eventually had to ask him to stop, you needed to try to fight on your own. How else would you learn?

He still watched like a hawk, observing from a distance, since he could absolutely teleport to you if he needed. While the Danger Room presented threats in a fake projection and had hard obstacles, there was no real threat. Sure, you could get hurt, nothing would actively attempt to cause severe harm.

But real battles were different.

In real life, your opponent will try to kill you.

In real life, there are consequences if you aren't careful.

When your first mission came, Kurt insisted on coming with the chosen members for the team, he wouldn't let you go off on your own. You could handle yourself, he knew that. But he still couldn't shake the feeling of not knowing what would happen if he wasn't there.

"Kurt, I'll be fine. You know I've been working hard and I've passed all the tests," you said calmly, while he shifted beside you and gave you a small pout. You knew he was just trying to keep you safe, he cared so much and all he wanted to do was protect you. His tail wrapped around your leg and he sighed back.

"I know, liebling..." he whispered softly, "But I cannot help it. I know you are strong, and fully able to care for yourself." he held your cheeks and smiled at you. "I just want to make sure you'll be okay."

"I can't get any better if you're always there to be my safety net, Kurt." you cooed, but with a small frown. "Sometimes, I need to get hurt so I can get tougher. Or so I can improve my skills. Besides, Scott said I've been doing really good and that I'm ready, otherwise he wouldn't have chosen me for this mission." you added. "You know he can be a stickler."

Kurt chuckled in return, "Ja, he can be rather strict...but I want to make sure you're safe. I won't interfere, not unless I have to." Kurt promised softly.

During the big fight, you were facing three larger enemies. The men held weapons and began to swing them at you, but you were trained enough to dodge and avoid their hits. You were doing well, swinging back and avoiding their weapons, but three against one was hard. You weren't used to such relentless attacks, at least not from opponents hellbent on actually killing you.

In the heat of the moment, you mistook your step, not able to move out of the way quick enough. You feel a fist connect to your jaw, then your cheek, then the center of your nose. You stumble back and feel something flow down your nose, a metallic taste on your tongue.

You get a little roughed up, a few more good punches to the face and being tossed around from the sudden barrage of attacks. You had been caught off guard, as you were used to Kurt showing up within the second to defend you. You were grateful, but mentally cursed yourself for relying on him mid-battle.

Kurt fights off a few opponents and looks just in time to see you thrown onto your back and roll a little from the force of impact. He sees blood on your face and your body shake as you try to stand and recover. At that moment, he looses all composure.

He rushes at the opponent, "Stay away from them!" he snarled angrily, teleporting on top of them and knocking them away from you. He swings his swords and begins an intense duel with them. Hitting over and over, weaseling away from their reactive attacks while landing fierce strikes. You watch from the ground, your pain momentarily subsided as you witness his attack.

You have never seen Kurt so fast. He swings and jumps, his agile body moving almost like water, avoiding any counter the opponent had. If he wasn't battling, you would've been fooled that he was performing for the circus again. He was so elegant to watch, how he moved was hypnotizing. His tail wrapped around the opponent's arm and jerked so their fist collided with their face. Kurt jumped off and let the enemy fall onto their back.

He showed his swords, giving a growl, "Is that all you got, wretched bastards." Kurt spoke with malice in his voice, teleporting between them and knocking the two opponents down with a single twist and kick. When he landed he pointed his sword at them, silent victory.

Kurt glared down at the enemies while the rest of the team with you secured them. He didn't take his eyes off the men who attacked you, glaring and baring his teeth like an animal. He growled and watched as they were all gathered so the team could clear the area. Only after the men were secured did he turn back and rush to you.

"Liebling!" A sudden puff of smoke appeared beside you, and so did he. "Are you okay??" he asked, kneeling down as his hands gently took your cheeks, his eyes taking in your bloodied face. "You're hurt....it's okay. I'm here, I'll get you to the jet..." he carefully cradled you, your surroundings flashed with brilliant purple and black shades, like you were rushing through clouds with bright light peeking through before your surroundings suddenly appeared as the interior of the jet.

"Just relax. I will take care of you, where do you hurt?" he asked, quickly grabbing one of the first aid kits. Your ribs hurt badly, and if they weren't broken you'd be shocked. You had taken a few good hits to the face, and hitting the ground just made your hip sore. But luckily nothing too serious.

"Kurt...m'fine, really." you rasped out, slowly wiping your nose, looking down at the blood that had collected. "Just a little sore...I'm alright." you reasoned with your blue lover, but he shook his head.

"Nein, schatz...you are beaten black and blue..." he knelt back down and gently wiped your face with a rag to clean the blood. He positioned your head up slightly, dabbing a cotton ball soaked with rubbing alcohol. The smell made you cringe, and you leaned back as your cheek stung.

"Ow..." you mumbled, "Kurt, please. I can handle myself," you looked up to continue to talk but the look on his face made you pause. He was worried, he didn't like seeing you hurt. He wanted to take care of you, that was all. He looked back at you, his yellow eyes full of concern and sadness. So you held your tongue and allowed him to continue, even though you were fully capable of doing this, there was no harm letting him.

He dabbed your cuts clean, then applied some ointment to them. The entire time he tended to you, he made sure that he was very gentle. "Easy, liebe...just a little bit more." He applied the last butterfly bandage to your cheekbone and pulled back, a satisfied smile playing on his lips. "Done."

You sighed with relief, sitting up with some trouble since your ribs were definitely damaged. "Thank you, Kurt...you're always so sweet to me." you smiled and kissed his cheek. He eagerly responded and he kissed you back after you pulled away. His tail wrapped around your waist gently and he positioned to hold you.

"We will leave soon. For now just rest...I promise to tend to you if I need to." he whispered, holding your head to rest on his chest. You couldn't fight him anymore, and you relaxed against him. His tail slowly rubbed up and down your back just as you liked, lulling you to sleep.

"Schlaf gut." he whispered, nuzzling his nose into your hair and feeling satisfied with you pulled against him. It scared him, seeing you on the ground like that. You didn't have any serious wounds, but he couldn't imagine if you did. He knew it was bound to happen one day, being part of the team meant every once in a while, injury will occur. He shook his head, snapping out of his thoughts.

Instead he just held you a little tighter, happy you were safe and okay.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

dividers by @/adornedwithlight

Cover Images: Way of X #5 (2021); X-Men the Onslaught Revelation #1 (2021); Way of X #5 (2021)

[masterqwertster]

Ooh love the Loads of Snuggles and Hugs prompt list, and it does feel like that time of year with winter around! I'd be curious about one of the hair prompts (washing or sniffing) for Ashton and Chetney now that we know Chet chisels/trims Ashton's crystalline hair. I feel like Chetney doesn't get a lot of moments of genuine intimacy on stream or in writing since he's played as a comedic relief a lot, and while I've always enjoyed his and Ashton's bantering dynamic, I wonder what a serious (and nonconfrontational) moment between them might be like. But ofc I'll enjoy any direction you'd like to take the prompt(s)! 💚

Snuggles and Hugs Prompt -washing their hair for them

"Are you sure you wanna do this? I know you get weird about working on anything that isn't wood," Ashton questions, hesitating to lay their head in the waiting little gnomish lap.

"Porcelain is the sister craft, stone the cousin," Chetney ceremoniously replies.

"This is crystal," Ashton deadpans.

"Look, it's close enough," Chetney grumps, taking minor offense at the arguing of semantics. "Besides, you obviously need this."

Poor kid's been worrying pieces of their crystalline hair like a loose tooth since they last got thrown around. Been fluffing their pillows more at night too. And it's not like Chetney hasn't noticed that the crystals look a little longer than is actually comfortable, what with the way they press into Ashton's neck when he tilts his head back.

"Yeah, okay," they huff out. "Just don't stab me."

And the heavy, pokey head finally rests in Chetney's lap (should have gotten a fucking pillow for this with all those little crystal points digging into his thighs. Too late now though).

Crystal is not a medium Chetney is overly familiar with. He's done a few insets for some of his higher paying projects in the past, but that was still carving wood for the fitting and not the gemstones themselves.

Still, it's not an impossible project for master craftsman like Chetney.

He starts with the easy shit, the crystals that are already cracked and on their way to breaking off. Nimble fingers test each point, and when it wiggles, Chetney finds the crack and opens that bad boy up until the tip shears off.

Once everything is solid, Chetney picks up one of the larger chunks and starts experimenting.

"The fuck are you doing?" Ashton asks, rolling their head to get eyes on the crunching of Chetney chipping away at piece of crystal that isn't attached to their head.

"Figuring out the best way to start a cut," Chetney murmurs, attention still held by the amethyst in his hand as he switches chisels.

"Oh."

It's not a care anyone who has cut his hair has taken before. The early days in Bassuras, in the Greymoore Home, they used what was at hand, hacking and chipping away at the too-long crystals on his head. Those who would later be the Nobodies learned, through trial and error upon Ashton's head, where to strike, how to angle the blows, and what tools were best for the job. Milo had cut gems before, mostly little adjustments to fit them into their projects, and so they had only needed a bit of practice to handle Ashton's hair. A bit of practice achieved by simply doing, rather than this testing of an already dislodged chunk.

After a few minutes during which Ashton almost dozes off (the old man's lap is surprisingly comfortable for how small it is), Chetney lets out a satisfied huff, setting shards of amethyst aside.

"So how short do you want this? I'm guessing not basically shaved, but there's some room inbetween that and where it's at now."

"Uh, mostly bring the sides and back down to like, an inch long. Maybe an inch or two off the top," Ashton answers.

"Got it." And Chetney gets to work.

Once the haircut is done, Chetney finds his hands and pants coated in purple flecks. The small chips created in cracking off those crystal tips are also dusted all throughout the amethyst still attached to Ashton's head.

"Sit up a sec and let me get you cleaned up," Chetney instructs, doing his best to dust his hands off (not over Ashton. Isn't that polite of him?) before reaching for a canteen to flush the gem dusting out of their hair.

It's fucking unfair how easily the particles wash off. Or at least, that's what Chetney thinks until he notices how the water, and the collected detritus, pools in deep little nooks and crannies. Fuck, Chetney's pretty sure some of that grime is from before this haircut.

And it's not exactly necessary, but Chetney takes pride in his work, so he pulls out a little bristle brush that normally helps clear the shavings out of small bored holes and sets about getting every nook and cranny clean and clear of debris.

"You don't have to do that," Ashton points out shortly after Chetney starts the deep clean.

"Shut up. When I help clean up something's looks, I clean it the fuck up and make it look fucking stunning," Chetney rebuts, swirling the bristle brush around in a crevice.

Ashton huffs and rolls his eyes, but doesn't protest any further. It's... nice, having someone else care for them like this.

[improbable-implosions]

This particular mend turned out to be MUCH more complex, involved, and fussy than I really ever expected it to be at the outset. That said, after all the work where I focused on taking my time to get things just so, I found out that I'm quite capable of handling larger projects like this!

First up, here, before starting, my partner Razz and I sat down, and went through our clothes with a careful eye. More and more of her pants in particular were in need of little fixes here and there, and I figured rather than going about it all piecemeal and in no particular order, not accomplishing the fixing of clothes she needs, we put them together into an order of "most wanted fixes" to "least pressing fixes".

Once I had all that info, I settled in with a measuring tape, and got to identifying all the mends that needed to happen. For every piece that was more than, say, a few inches of rip, or of a shape that standard embroidery wouldn't cut it for a fix, I cut out a piece of patch fabric, with the intention of making use of these patches by doing sashiko mends.

Step 1: pin the hem of the patch down, initially hoping to run it through the sewing machine to have a nice hem! Sure, it was kinda fussy doing the quarter inch hems, since I hadn't really done this before, but it's not _too_ bad in hindsight!

Step 2: Realize that the sewing machine foot you have on hand got mixed up with a family member's in a move, and begrudgingly realize you have to re-pin the hemmed patch directly to the jeans being mended. Grumble, grumble! Oh well, at least this light blue thread is going to be really cute on the jeans, so there's that.

Step 3: stitch down the patch to the fabric, blissfully unaware that this big of a patch which interacts with the main seams four times like this is going to be a huge pain later!

Step 4: with some clever use of tape and bumping the laptop brightness, make a tracing of the segaihana pattern onto the dissolvable backing. (I did realize later, mind you, that I could have just used something small and circular to draw this manually, but the tracing worked out just fine, so we take those!)

Step 5: get stitching, following the pattern on the backing! I get about this far before two things happen: first off, the sewing machine foot returned from family-home purgatory, and secondly, I realize that pushing this needle over and over with my bare hands is REALLY wearing out not only the muscles in my hands, but also thoroughly frustrating my skin, in the process.

So, as a little test of the sewing machine, I made this little palm thimble! the loop of thread on the left there loops around my middle finger, and then the denim takes the brunt of pushing the needle, instead of my poor fingies!

So, over the course of a few days, with a LOT of help from the palm thimble (some pieces even getting done on stream, go check out the vods: https://youtu.be/oeytUetT2Z0 and https://youtu.be/u6k-Yr4Vjn0) we get the first (major) panel done! Might not be super visible in these shots, but there is in fact a second piece to be stitched here!

So, after yet more tracing (which took a good bit more fuss, since I had to align it with the previous panel!) we find ourselves at step 6: do the second batch of stitching! Overall, I actually really enjoyed the way this piece came together, the segaihana pattern is super pretty to look at. Plus, I learned a LOT in doing this one, the big thing being, if you're going to have trouble on both sides of a thigh of a pair of jeans, even if the damage is spread evenly on either side, break the patches up along the main seam. Sewing through the many layers of that denim is particularly taxing, especially when I'm struggling to nail the positioning of the stitches to carry on a nice pattern!

[midnight-omega]

Anatomy hc

Okiii ur girl spent most of last night trying to figure some things out and draw some diagrams fr

This post focuses on the reproductive anatomy of my omegaverse. I'm gonna go through each of the 6 gender/dynamic combinations and give a little info about how I think it all works :> like everything else this varies from person to person so if this isn't ur thing no worries! If this is ur thing feel free to use it! But if you use my diagrams I'd appreciate it if you credited me be i spent a long time on them 😔

I also want to link this very in depth explanation because I did take a lot of inspiration from it for my male omegas! I adore this concept for them and I'll be using it going forward. The author talks about a lot more tho some of which imma steal some of which Im not :))

Okay lets get into it fr, be warned there are my messy diagrams of all kinds of private bits under the cut. Also if tumblr kills the quality im so sorry fr :((

Male Alpha

🌕 Let's start with our boys here.

🌕 Honestly they're pretty straightforward! There's not too many crazy anatomy changes here. They function pretty much the same as irl amab anatomy does.

🌕 They have a penis and external testes

🌕 They have a prostrate that can be stimulated via anal penetration

🌕 Male alphas tend to be on the bigger side concerning length/girth but this varies from person to person

🌕 Now, the defining characteristic of a male alpha is their knot. Only alphas have a knot!

🌕 The knot is soft tissue that expands during orgasm. This "locks" the penis into the vagina in order to facilitate conception. In simple terms, sperm stuck inside better change pregananant

🌕 The knot typically stays expanded for about 20min after orgasm, but this can vary. Any longer than an hour though, can be cause for concern

🌕 The male alpha usually has a larger knot than a female alpha and experiences higher chances of successfully "tying" (tying here meaning the knot actually gets stuck in the receiver)

🌕 An alpha can knot outside of rut, but these knots may be smaller or not fully expanded since they're lacking the overproduction of hormones that rut creates

🌕 A deflated knot is still visible as a ring of much softer tissue than the rest of the shaft

Female Alpha

🌕 oh boy, oh god, mother mary save us all

🌕 This one was so HARD to figure out fr... let me get into this

🌕 I've always liked the idea of a female alpha having a hidden penis best. One that's concealed where the clit ought to be but expands and pops out during rut or when aroused. I like this one best bc I'm not a super big fan of the anatomy set up of having a vulva and dick and balls all at once, and anatomically I never understood like... the concept of the clit swells a lil and thats the knot bc... penetrate how?? I also just don't like pregnant female alphas much! To me alphas impregnate only not carry

🌕 So hidden penis was my favorite option !

🌕 But once I started drawing out the diagram I immediately had problems placing the sheathed penis inside the body

🌕 My biggest issues were the bladder and pubic bone. The bladder I can move around easy enough, especially since female and male anatomy have it in slightly different positions anyway

🌕 But what was fucking me up was that damn bone

🌕 If we want to replace the clit with a penis the penis is going to need to run straight through that bone. The pubic bone in female anatomy sits right above the clit basically. In male anatomy its a tad higher up but even moving it up it would still be in the way of the penis

🌕 I could continue to move the bone or do away with it but then we compromise the human shape of the female alpha. The rest of the dynamics would look human in the hips and pelvis but female alpha she'd be.. little fucked up. Not to mention I'm sure there's some other wild medical consequence of removing or moving the pubic bone that I'm not aware of

🌕 So... we can't put the sheathed penis exactly where the clit is

🌕 I could put it where the vagina is, but then that eliminates the vagina entirely and makes female alphas unable to have penetrative sex and tbh I'm not into that give her a gspot yk?

🌕 I could move the urethra around, like push it forward towards the clit even more and push the vaginal opening backwards, or even combine the vagina and anus like the male omega but I wasn't a fan of that either. It makes her feel to male omega-y and less unique to me

🌕 Furthermore like... vaginas are low. Like lower than u think, clits are a little lower too. And penises are so high! So.. having a penis come out so low between your legs wouldn't that make penetrating kinda hard unless you had a crazy long horse cock or smth.

🌕 So I ended up keeping the penis sheathed like I wanted, but I moved it up

🌕 The penis head is a little above where a clit would sit but I still removed the clit from her anatomy

🌕 To avoid the bone I had to put the penis above it. This isn't super crazy since the vans deferens also comes down over the bone, but it is a little awkward because this isn't a little tube this is a PENIS. This is a whole long cord of tissue and blood vessels here and I'm not giving her a small flat cock to compensate she doesn't deserve that

🌕 So, her muscle, fat, skin, and what have you is gonna have to push out to make room for the penis sitting above the bone.

🌕 Insert female alpha sheath bulge >:))

🌕 tbh I think giving her a bit of a bump is pretty hot so I'm satisfied!

🌕 However bc its sitting right over a bone any pressure applied to it is going to be uncomfortable or even painful for her

🌕 So... ig if you wanna kick a female alpha in the nuts aim for her sheath fr

🌕 So then I was good for awhile, I had placed the penis in the body in a way that satisfied me and kept the vagina intact

🌕 But okay now the penis has to come out

🌕 The female alpha cock still sits lower than the male one, so we have to do a little more bending to get it to flip up in proper penis formation

🌕 No problem, I'll just give the female a longer base after the knot and said base will be way more bendy than a real penis np np

🌕 Okay but... if we have a noodle base how is the erection staying erect and not just becoming a top heavy string of stuck blood that flops tf over

🌕 Insert what I did with the labia

🌕 I want female alphas to enjoy vaginal sex if they want to mostly for kinky reasons yk but its my world so!

🌕 But this means that I don't really wanna touch the labia around the vagina, they should still get looser during arousal they should still be fun to play with yada yada yada

🌕 But the penis needs something to lock it upright. So I split the labia into even more parts.

🌕 On irl afab anatomy theres the inner and outer labia and that's that. On the female alpha tho I had to get creative. I gave her her inner and outer labia that would function normally

🌕 Then I gave her another set around the exit of her sheath. I called them! The penile labia for lack of creativity and anatomical knowledge! Unlike the outer and inner labia around the vagina, these ones stiffen and lock up during arousal after the penis has been unleashed. This keeps it out and helps it stand!

🌕 I also gave her a middle labia. This is an extremely tough piece of muscle that separates her upper and lower sets of lips. The middle labia supports our bendy base even more and tends to get engorged and may even expand a little to support the weight of the cock and knot

🌕 This isn't fool proof by ANY means and I'm sure ppl who know anatomy better than me have a million issues rn but yk what? This makes sense to me and took me awhile to figure it out fr so I'm content

🌕 Now... I gave her a uterus-like structure and still called it "uterus" for lack of better term. this is not a functioning uterus so female alphas cannot conceive

🌕 But in this model I have this uterus act more like a muscle that helps push the penis out of the sheath. Believable? Idk but its chill with me

🌕 The female knot is generally a littler smaller than the male knot because it's gotta fit in the body

🌕 The knot here doesn't even begin to expand until the penis is unsheathed, whereas in males it may puff up slightly on initial arousal

🌕 Since I did not give her balls, her testes are inside the body where the ovaries would typically be

🌕 insert the part where I tell you alpha sperm does not need to be cool. It can survive higher temperatures which also makes sense considering omegas practically have heat strokes during heat, the sperm would need to be a little tougher.

🌕 But then why do males have balls? I got u fam ! Bc while they can survive in warmer temperatures that does not mean they thrive there. The healthiest swimmers are still kept a little cooler. Female alphas may be less fertile even because of this which could be some fun plot points bc i love female alphas pls write them more

🌕 That was so LONG but I think that's it for her

Male Beta

🌙 The male beta doesn't really have anything super atypical from irl amab bodies.

🌙 The penis of a beta tends to be a lil smaller than an alpha's but bigger than an omegas, but again this isn't always the case!

🌙 We do have a prostate for fun anal times if desired

🌙 Beta sperm is not as heat resistant as alpha sperm. They can impregnate other betas just fine but may struggle with an omega in heat. It's suggested that b/o couples try conceiving outside of heat with the help of fertility experts :>

🌙 Male betas cannot conceive, they have no uterus or vagina

🌙 Betas do not knot!

Female Beta

🌙 Again, not a lot of differences to talk about here, typical afab anatomy

🌙 It is worth noting that in my verse I am not giving female betas periods bc thats mean

🌙 For this reason their endometrium is thinner than ours so the body can reabsorb it without a true heat easier

🌙 I'll also say that beta eggs are just built different for this thinner endometrium

🌙 usually you need a certain thickness for the egg to embed properly to the uterine wall, but imma say that for whatever reason beta eggs are totally chill with a thin lining. They have a better grip or smth ig!

🌙 This allows my girls to get pregnant without an extra added issue due to my silly anatomy choices

🌙 It also makes her different from the female omega which I'll talk about later :))

Male Omega

🌑 Okay ya'll get ready for shitshow number two

🌑 actually the male omega wasn't as bad to figure out mostly bc I stole the idea of the epivagina from the author I linked above the cut!!

🌑 I'll sum up if you don't want to read through the link (you should tho it's really interesting stuff you might wanna use in ur own verse!)

🌑 So like the female alpha there are depictions I don't like when it comes to the male omega. I don't like them not having a uterus and just being... a guy? Like having nothing about them that makes them different than a male beta. Also, like how I said I don't like pregnant alphas, I don't like omegas that can impregnate.

🌑 I'm also not a fan of not giving them a penis and having them only have a vagina and uterus. What makes the two omega genders different then? Breasts? Not a fan tbh considering I like my male omegas to breastfeed with their lil pregnancy boobies (cancer in venus I like boobies and lactation not sorry)

🌑 Basically I want my mpreg and I want my penis too

🌑 So, like the female alpha, we have to give them both parts.

🌑 Since there's not a ton of room between the balls and the anus (the taint is only so big yall) I'm not a fan of just giving them a vulva here

🌑 I'm also not a big fan of the birth canal that develops from the taint when pregnant just bc it doesn't make sense to me that the body just forms and unforms a hole that they have to push out a baby the size of a small melon through. Like in that case pregnancy must be excruciatingly painful on top of pregnancy already being painful and hard

🌑 So... butt babies. Except not quite

🌑 The popular option is the cloaca but... I have issues with that too

🌑 If you read the chapter on male omegas on the ao3 link you can see why. A short cloaca definitely results in poop in the vagina. I don't think I need to explain why poop in the vagina is like the worst thing. As the author points out it also makes it difficult for fun oral time just bc the amount of infections you can get from... constant ass licking/fucking especially bc I haven't seen any male omegas telling their alphas omg wait i need to shower, shit, and have an enema first

🌑 The long cloaca can work ig but then the penis never enters the vagina and thats just not fun. The male omega would never be able to have vaginal sex fr :((

🌑 So I'm going with what the author made up! The epivagina!

🌑 The epivagina is a strong valve-like muscle kinda like the middle labia in alpha females.

🌑 During non horny times the epivagina remains positioned in a way that closes off the vaginal opening. No penetration without literal tearing can take place with it closed. The anus is open and free for poop!

🌑 During heat and arousal the epivagina switches the other way opening the vagina and closing the anus so the opposite is true

🌑 You do not have to be in heat for the vagina to open btw! Just turned on

🌑 During birth we can just assume the sphincters and muscles around this anus and vagina were built for stretching, though it might be recommend for male omegas to anal train a bit to get all our muscles ready for it (there are literally butt plugs the size of a child's head so we can train out asses a lil)

🌑 Now the drawback to this would be that... you cannot have anal with a male omega if he's turned on. Tbh that's okay with me since i'm not really into anal anyway! If it's not okay with u then.. idk change it to fit ur kink babe im not stopping u

🌑 It also kinda acts as a rape defense too in a way.... like a duck if we're not turned on good luck entering the vagina. ofc... the exception to this is heat in heat it's p much always open unless we need to shit rn so ig vaginal rape protection in heat isn't a thing but it's neat outside of heat

🌑 Male omegas do produce very small amounts of sperm but they're such sad little boys it's basically impossible to get pregnant from them. Most of them have clear orgasms if they come from their cocks at all.

🌑 I did raise their balls a bit back into the body. We're still descended but not... exactly the whole way if that makes sense. Our sperm just isn't as cool this way and it's not heat resistant fr!

🌑 Bc omegas get so hot during their heats this can also decrease or fully kill off any remaining sperm production.

🌑 Technically this way you can still get pregnant by a male omega if you're a female beta/omega but.... bc its my verse and I don't really want that I'm gonna say it happens like once in a century it is not really a thing

🌑 The penis here is smaller than anyone else's, but not as small as you'd think. I'm not going the whole micropenis route with them you can still be satisfied through penetration with my male omegas!

🌑 Like the author, I also like the concept of giving them a prostate and an internal clit >:))

🌑 no real reason other than 3 ways for my boys to orgasm and I like it

Female Omega

🌑 Pretty similar to the female beta, not too much difference from irl afab anatomy

🌑 The biggest difference between a female beta and female omega are:

🌑 Slick production (beta's do not produce slick)

🌑 The endometrium

🌑 I gave my beta's a thinner one so their bodies can absorb it and we can avoid menstruation!

🌑 Well in female omegas the endometrium is thicker, about the same as the average one irl or maybe even a little thicker than that.

🌑 Her eggs just aren't as good as gripping just like irl fr, so we need a lot of cushion for them

🌑 especially since female omegas tend to release more than one egg a cycle (2-4 is normal) so if we're all embedding we need more room to do it

🌑 A female omega also can reabsorb her endometrium no worries I am not giving her a period either

🌑 Instead I'm going to say that heat has 3 phases. Pre heat where we get ready for ovulation that lasts about 3-4 days, heat heat which lasts about 1-2 days or less. This is when we are fertile we need to get pregnant NOW, and then post heat which lasts about 3 days where our body temperature is still extremely high and we're still horny and feverous but the egg has passed alas. Its during post heat that we reabsorb and break down the endometrium. Sometimes we might see a little blood a lil spotting yk, but for the most part our heat stroke helps us absorb it idc if that's unreasonable its what imma say

🌑 The term heat usually includes heat and post heat but not pre heat (I mean you get off work for heat and post heat and we use the term heat as a collective to include that 5 or so days but this doesn't include the pre heat) but i'll do a different post for heats later !

I think thats everything if you survived all that thank you for indulging me fr! Feel free to pop in my askbox if you wanna talk about smth and like I said in the beginning feel free to steal but pls credit my diagrams if u use them :))

[bug-memory]

Hey! I shipped all the Muriels! I did it!

Over the past three days, I have mailed out orders. Please keep an eye out for your Muriel box!

If you need your tracking number, please contact me and I'll gladly link it to you. I think BackerKit doesn't send them to people for some reason.

I'm gonna add a little cut here because I have some more things to say about the project as a whole!

So... First of all, in the future, I would like to avoid using Kickstarter and Backerkit as a platform for my dolls. I used Kickstarter because, at the time, I wasn't really active in the doll community and didn't know that most people just did a pre-order independently. I don't regret doing the Kickstarter, but I do think I'd like to try something else next time.

Aside from printing some smaller batches of new Muriel colors in the future, I will probably avoid 3D printing dolls as a final product and stick to using it for prototyping only.

My reasons for this are... The printed resin properties still just aren't there for me. I think the Muriels turned out just fine and I'm happy with them, but have found that when adding more pigment to them, they scratch easier, which was what I was trying to avoid in the first place by using Mecha/Tenacious. I think the pigment thinning it out further reduces its anti-scratch properties, but idk. (My ratio was 4:1 Mecha/Tenacious in case anyone is wondering). Because of this, coating the Muriel joints is a necessity rather than an option, imo.

I do plan to do some smaller batches of different colors for Muriels. I most likely won't make any more larger sized ones, though. All the colors for the Kickstarter are exclusive and won't be remade.

So... Projects coming up... First of all, Harold.

I should finally be getting his robe back next week, and will work on making it more "spooky," as well as print a prototype in what will hopefully be a close approximation to one of the color options from my caster. After I up my photography game, hopefully the photos are pretty enough to encourage people to pre-order him. I would love to do this in October--it is MY MONTH, after all--but also Harold is literally a ghost and a witch, and I think this is an appropriate spooky season for their pre-order. So, I really hope that now that the factors outside of my control are almost resolved, I can get this finished. If I work on him for a week, I can probably have the photo-worthy prototype.

Anyway, soon.

Future projects:

Violet and Lucian, my werewolf dolls, will probably take up most of 2025 for me.

They will have separate pre-order periods, so if people want both, they won't have to order both at once. I want them to be 1/3 scale, so they will be pricier (layaway is your friend, tho). I just really hope there's enough interest for them by the time I get to this stage (guessing, next year). I hope the extra income from Harold will help me get a casted sample for Violet, to see if anything needs to be changed engineering-wise. If for some reason it just doesn't work in 1/3 scale, I might go with a 1/4. I just really think a werewolf is worthy of a big doll. She will be a bit of an engineering challenge for me, but I think I can work out most of it by printing parts of her; I do plan to print a 1/4 one to test before going with the casted sample (which will cost upwards of $600 for a single one).

I think, for Lucian (which will just be a masc version of the werewolf sculpt) I can just edit the Violet file's proportions and hopefully keep the same joint engineering between the two.

Waaaay future projects I want to do:

Bisbee (1/4)

A big demon dude with wings (1/3)

A kobold? (dunno what scale)

[celerydays]

What program do you use to make your fanart? Is it on just an average ipad or is there special ones just for art? Your work looks so good! I’m wanting to try digital art but unsure where to start :)

I use the Procreate app for all of my digital art! ✨

It should be available on any iPad 💗 I personally invested for my birthday this past year and I have the 12.9" M2 iPad Pro, but I'll even occasionally use my fiancé's iPad Mini and the Procreate app on there in a pinch since it's so small and portable~

The only real difference is that performance might suffer a bit, the larger an art piece is or how many layers your work has, depending on the iPad. But if you're just starting out, I probably wouldn't find that to be much of an issue!

(More rambling about digital art origins under cut ✨)

There's definitely a learning curve, especially if you're more used to drawing traditionally! It can help to still sketch traditionally (if that's what you're used to) and then upload a photo of your drawing to your tablet to work over digitally (this is personally how I started out and I used to just make little digital doodles by tracing and coloring over my traditional sketches.)

A small doodle from my sketchbook that I traced and colored digitally, from around 2011-2012, I think? Uh, happy Doctor Who day today!

My very first digital art set up was actually a tiny Wacom Bamboo tablet where the drawing space probably wasn't even bigger than my hand, and a super old bootleg version of Photoshop CS2 which was already a version that was 7 years too old for the time (CS5/CS6 was the most updated version by the time I had started on digital art).

Everyone else in my class had the bigger/fancier/professional-grade Wacom Intuos and I remember my professor taking one look at my baby tablet and just going like "how tf are you drawing on that" lmao.

But still! Experimenting and doing little exercises can get you a long way – I would say to approach it with similar exercises you would do as if you were learning to draw traditionally for the first time.

Shade in circles/nail down basic lighting. Gesture drawings. Random scribbles. Just things that help you get used to the feel of digital art!

Test out different textures you can achieve with one brush, then expand it to see how other different types of brushes can behave and add to the experience.

For proof that even just one brush and not the best/most updated tools can work: these are two of my first more "serious" digital art projects I did in college (with my tiny tablet and mega outdated version of Photoshop) and 99% of the rendering was just done with the "soft airbrush" brush.

But even then, we were taught to create our base sketches traditionally and upload them to the program to work over.

Then one day I decided I wanted to just be able to also do all my sketches digitally and just worked on getting used to sketching straight on my digital program. It was then that besides the all-powerful undo-redo buttons, I started to really make use of the transform/canvas flip/liquify features which I don't think I can live without now lol. (Caveat: I'm now a little too dependent on those features so I keep a traditional sketchbook to do silly doodles in occasionally to exercise my hand because sketching traditionally without the buffer of those digital tools is pretty difficult for me now lol.)

That was a little long-winded, I'm so sorry hahaha. I hope something in this rambling could be taken as somewhat helpful for starting out on digital art!! 💗

[irondad-defensesquad]

Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Chapter 1

Also posted on AO3!

Originally a story written in 2019, though I decided to revisit it.

I'm splitting this in two chapters. I'm already warning you that this first one will be painful. Tony will say some VERY mean things to Peter, which are not condoned. Part of this is me projecting onto Tony after I had a bad fight IRL, so characters might be OOC.

TRIGGER WARNINGS (for this chapter) - lashing out and mention of alcohol abuse

DO NOT SHIP PETER AND TONY. P/ROSHIP DNI.

--

Some days are hard and that’s part of life. But that doesn’t mean they won't be a pain in the ass. And when you’re Tony Stark, certified “piping hot mess”, the bad days can feel like he’s still in the wormhole, trapped in the deep and infinite outer space.

There isn’t a particular reason why he’s like this today. Most of his bad days work like that. Well, Tony is aware he has plenty of reasons, but none are recent.

Tony ranges from numb to irritable. When these days happen, he isolates himself in the workshop so he can focus on something else, like his suit of armor or his cars. That way, he won’t resort to alcohol, nor will anyone else get hurt. It helps that Pepper is out to work, and Rhodey is saving the world.

Today, the billionaire is fixing some bugs in his suit while at the same time he’s fixated on rebuilding a piece from the old, flaming Ford. It’s the only car part that has broken, and Tony can’t understand why. And for some reason, he’s unable to fix it. When he gets too stressed about it, Tony returns to his suit, and then he goes back to the Ford, so on and so forth.

Usually, fixing things and taking them apart help him. But today, they don’t.

At one point, Tony gives up and tries to forget the car piece for a bit.

And to make things worse…

F.R.I.D.A.Y reminds him that Peter is on his way.

“Oh. Oh my god,” Tony groans loudly. “Fuck.”

Only then does he remember that today is lab day. On his bad day. How could he forget?

Tony clearly can’t tell Peter to go home. He didn’t take more than two hours to get kicked out immediately. That’s just an asshole thing to do. On the other hand, the older man feels bad for thinking this way, but just imagining Peter rambling and rambling endlessly is already worsening his headache. He also won’t have the courage to tell Peter to not stay in the workshop. He doesn’t want to make the kid feel like he’s not wanted.

He sighs, soon hearing the elevator door opening, and Peter’s bouncy, happy steps going towards him. He’s clearly having a great day. Oh, the irony.

“Hi, Mr. Stark!” Peter greets him. Tony doesn’t have to look at him to see the sun rays coming out of him. Instead of warming him, they only blind Tony and make the heavy storm in his head grow larger.

“Hey, kid,” Tony lamely acknowledges.

“I’m feeling so awesome today! I finally aced my Spanish test,” Peter goes on, probably not noticing Tony’s lack of attention. “For a moment, I thought I wouldn’t make it, since the teacher can be a little hard on the correction, but he congratulated me! Not to brag, but I was one of the few aces in class, and man, you should’ve seen the look on Flash’s face, it was priceless!”

Peter is full on chatterbox mode, talking about all the other school stuff. On a normal day, Tony would’ve been so proud of him. They would’ve even ordered something special to celebrate. He knows how stressed Peter gets because of school, so him feeling so proud of himself is a delight. It’s too bad that Tony’s brain isn’t complying with him, so he stops listening to Peter halfway through, and he realizes he’s not doing anything with his suit, just sliding his fingers on the projection repeatedly, aimlessly.

At some point, he realizes the workshop is silent, save for the Black Sabbath playing in the background. That means Peter has finally realized he’s talking to nobody.

“... uh, w-what are you doing over there?” The teen stutters.

Tony sighs. He should apologize.

“Sorry, kid. I’m…” I’m having a bad day. This is not your fault. But he doesn’t have the strength to say these words, for some reason. “I’m trying to fix some bugs in the communication system.”

“Oh. Do you need help?”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Liar. “You can do whatever you want, like homework, or anything in your suit. I’ll help you later if you need me.”

“Um, okay.”

As Peter moves to his counter, Tony instantly remembers what’s lying there.

“Just don’t touch that thing there, alright?” The latter requests. Almost begging.

“What’s that?” Peter observes it.

“Just… a stubborn car part I’ve been trying to fix forever. And not getting any progress.” He knows his voice is sharper than usual, but Tony’s head is exploding. He’s so angry. At whom?

Peter merely hums and installs himself in the counter. The damned piece is on the other corner. Finally, Tony goes back to the suit. As long as it stays this way, maybe his bad day will improve.

The hero is able to distract himself for once, as Paranoid plays. Tony hears a shuffle or another coming from Peter, but it’s nothing too bothersome.

Next thing he knows, though, everything goes to shambles.

The noise that comes destroying the quietude and peace is loud like thunder. It’s probably the storm inside Tony’s head now ruining the real world, too.

“What the FUCK, Peter?!” Tony blurts out, knowing that it came from the kid. He knows what Peter did, as he sees the car part broken into pieces, scattered on the floor.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, Mr. Stark, I was just trying to get a better look at it, m-maybe fix it for you–”

“Are you serious?! I told you not to touch it!”

“I’m sorry, I-I just wanted to help!”

“I don’t WANT your help! I just wanted you to BE QUIET and do your thing in your corner! But clearly you NEVER listen to me when I tell you to stay put!”

Peter is shaking his head, wanting to say more, but Tony keeps going.

“See, that’s your goddamn problem. You refuse to listen to me, you ‘think’ you’re going to help, but you just make EVERYTHING WORSE. That’s exactly what happened at the ferry.”

“But Mr. Stark…” Peter’s voice is tiny.

“I don’t know how many times I have to get in that stupid brain of yours,” Tony steps forward, stepping on one of the pieces, “DO NOT TOUCH MY FUCKING STUFF!”

The thunder scares Peter. He steps back.

He’s shaking. He’s shaking so hard.

And his eyes…

Those precious puppy eyes…

Tony stops dead in his tracks.

The damage has been done.

He replays all the words he just said, and he feels absolutely sickened by his own cruelty.

Peter is scared. He’s scared of Tony.

Oh my god. Oh my god, no.

Peter slowly backs away, like a scared animal.

“Peter,” Tony says, reaching out a hand…

But the kid runs away.

“Peter, wait!”

The boy manages to snatch his backpack and rush to the elevator. Tony doesn’t rush after him, though his arm is still trying to reach him. Of course, it doesn’t work. Peter is gone.

Tony is frozen where he stands.

The car part is broken beyond repair. Some small part of him still believes he can fix it.

But that is not more important.

He needs to fix what he just did to Peter.

He has to fix things.

No suit of armor, no car, nothing is more important than his kid.

When Tony rushes outside, he’s not too late.

“Peter!” He exclaims.

The teenager flinches, much to Tony’s dread. The former turns around like the latter’s storm is going to hit him again.

“Peter, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said those- those awful things to you. I was wrong about everything I said.”

Despite this, Peter doesn’t seem to believe it. He’s been betrayed. His trust… broken. It’s such a stark contrast to when he arrived at the workshop.

“I get it, Mr. Stark,” he says, voice low. He turns around to avoid Tony. “I just ruin your life.”

“No… goodness, no. My life is so much better with you in it.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

Peter isn’t crying anymore. He’s not even angry. He’s just hurt.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise,” Tony insists.

“I just break your stuff and make a mess. You said that, and you believe that.”

Tony shakes his head. Meanwhile, Peter is checking his phone and texting someone, probably Happy.

“Please, don’t leave like this,” the man begs. “W-We can fix this, together. We’re a team, right?”

“Mr. Stark–”

“We can order your favorite food, we can celebrate your grade and- and everything you do, we can watch those space movies you like–” Tony knows he’s pushing but he doesn’t know how to stop.

“Tony.”

Peter has never called him by his first name before. And it doesn’t sound endearing.

The boy is still not facing him.

“... I shouldn’t have come here,” he concludes.

Tony doesn’t know what to say anymore.

After a pained silence, Peter sighs, probably to filter his pain. “I just need to go home.”

The other inhales and exhales, putting his hands inside his pockets. “Okay.”

Not too long after, a car arrives in front of the building. Happy only opens the windows, looking confused at the situation yet not prying. He gestures for Peter to get in.

Peter is heading towards the car…

“L-Let me know when you get home, okay?” Tony pleads quietly.

The teen just vaguely looks at him, not directly. “Okay.”

Happy gives Tony a sad gaze, as if meaning, “we can talk about this later, if you want”.

Regardless, Happy and Peter are quickly gone, and Tony watches the car disappear into the horizon. There’s no one else around to watch this scene.

Tony drove them all away.

He drove his kid away.

And for the first time in a while, Tony can’t hold back his tears.

--

(Chapter 2)

[howlingday]

Godzilla in Remnant?

Okay, so... I want to do something a little different here. Instead of writing a story about Godzilla coming in, killing everything and everyone, fight some giant Grimm monster, then slink off back into the sea OR making a story of Ruby and Godzilla teaming up and solving mysteries around Remnant where Ruby does all the legwork and investigating and Godzilla is just loafing around until the monster of the week shows up, I wanna instead put a Godzilla in Remnant by Remnant.

I would like to take this time to apologize for to any TRUE Godzilla fans who may find my knowledge and understanding of the tremendum of the King of the Monsters. If my version sucks and you think you can do better than me, then by all means, go for it. I'm sure it will be better than what I craft here with my... three movie knowledge of Godzilla, the first of which is... GodZilla from the 1990s. Yeah... That's a lot of fish to unpack from the word go, huh?

Anywho, let's build us a

Godzilla in Remnant!

------------------------------------------------

So, let's start with Godzilla's origins in Remnant, which I will use the original version. See, shortly after the Great War, Nicholas Schnee was experimenting with dust, which proved to be the most effective weapon used, to create his most powerful weapon ever designed; two dust-infused bombs with the power to level cities. However, it had to go through testing first. This testing was done off the coast off the northern Anima peninsula, at an outpost that is still known today as Argus. The test was a success as the bomb worked well.

A little too well.

Deep beneath the waves, off the coast of the outpost, there lived a creature dating back to the pre-Brothers era. The radiation of the explosion was so intense, it leveled the seafloor ecosystem, killing and irradiating everything nearby. Everything, except the creature. Wounded, but enraged, this monster would bide their time until they were fully healed so they could exact their vengeance upon the hubris of humanity.

This brings us to today. Jacques Schnee intends to restart the dust bomb project to make the bombs even bigger for the military. Such research would advance humanity's knowledge, understanding, and technology in the use of dust. Though there were many who protested the plan, the research, development, and production of the bomb were now in the testing phases. And why not start where the first testing was held? Right off the coast of Argus.

Bringing his family and several benefactors to the outpost to watch, Jacques had no idea the hell he would unleash. A carrier bullhead flies outward, carrying the bomb in it's bay. The audience watches with bated breath as the bomb, dubbed "Ancient Gasp," a name to harken in the next era, fell into the water, sinking deep enough for the carrier to flee.

Seconds became minutes. Minutes felt like hours. Jacques felt a pit build in his stomach. Did they fail? Was the bomb a dud? Suddenly, a deafening boom is heard as blinding light shines against the protective goggles of the onlookers. There is a roar of applause as the test was proven to be a success. The CEO heaved a sigh of relief...

...Which then became a gasp of horror.

From the depths, a monster unlike any Grimm observed swam towards the shore. This beast was larger than any ever seen before! Jutting from its back like jagged glass were dust crystals of a color the Schnee family had never seen. They looked so pure that the urge to weep was palpable. However, any weeping that followed was not of awe, but of terror.

Godzilla emerged on Argus Beach and left smoldering crater in his wake. His appetite for destruction was far from sated, but the carnage and fear he spread caused a distraction to arrive behind him. Such palpable fear drew in the Leviathan Grimm. There, a titanic battle raged, ending with a lightly wounded Godzilla emerging victorious. He retreated to the ocean once more to rest from his shortly cut rampage.

=========================

Now, I want to discuss two things here before I end this synopsis.

First is the design. I will preface by saying that I didn't lie when I said that I only saw three Godzilla movies, Godzilla (1998), Godzilla (2014), and Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019). However, my first real introduction to the realm of the Kaiju of Kaijus was the video game, Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee on Nintendo GameCube (2002). I also watched Godzilla, the 1999 TV series based on the 1998 film. There's also Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters (2017) on Netflix, which I begrudgingly watched (I say this because, well... It's boring to me). Finally, there's Death Battle, which features two iconic Godzilla fights, Godzilla VS Gamera and Mecha-Godzilla VS Dragonzord.

Now, as for the design, I wanted to create a Godzilla similar to the irradiated prehistoric amphibian reptile from the original 1954 film, Godzilla, by irradiating him with dust instead of, well, radiation. I've had a headcanon (probably disproven now) that dust has a bit of radiation and has to be handled carefully with proper personal protective equipment, like gloves, masks, and whatnot if handled raw. Processed has less of this radiation to where it's okay to hold it bare-handed, albeit not for very long. In terms of design, I'm thinking the standard Godzilla look with the dorsal to tail spines replaced by dust crystals. Does it sound like Space Godzilla? If yes, then that's because I used Space Godzilla as my template for his look, albeit with smaller dust crystals.

Second is where, if at all, that I see this story taking place. Notably, the ripple effects this event has on the rest of the world. Dust stocks will PLUMMET, leading to Jacques facing heavy criticism for his reckless abuse of dust. This will result in public opinion on dust to shift from useful and vital asset to cautionary and trepid tool. Weiss, being a huge advocate for dust since, you know, it's been her whole life, still vouches for its use, though she still gets a few glares from certain people when dust comes up in conversation, which it does. A lot. And Weiss has to play defense. Every. Single. Time.

Next is Salem taking not of this monster not under her control. Something this huge taking out her Leviathan, the LARGEST and arguably the most powerful of her Grimm with only a few scratches? This thing can't be allowed to continue existing. So Salem starts creating more Grimm. Bigger ones. Kaiju Grimm. It's an arms race, and the weapons being built are Grimm.

Thank you for reading this to the very end. If you have any questions or feedback on this idea and want to see more of it, feel free to let me know and maybe we can all build Godzilla in Remnant together.

Keep up the good work, and I'll try to do the same!

[charles-leclerc-official]

Late for the rpf Monday, but wanted to share that in an attempt to improve my English and because there's been an elaborate story in my brain for a while now (and nobody will bring it to life for me), I started my first fic (only a word doc for now) and it's ruining my life. Now I cannot enjoy anybody else's work. All I think about while reading is how terrible my stuff is in comparison. The plot is fine, nothing groundbreaking, but it's solid. Everything else is a nightmare, especially since my only writing experience post high school required me to deliver very concise, emotionless reports, so basically the opposite of what I'm trying to do. Is there a question here? Maybe how not to give up after 3 chapters. On a brighter note, I have so much more appreciation for every creator out there. You guys are doing great, really xD

Hi, omg so first of all this is a very common problem and I struggled with it too.

Because yes once you start writing it's hard not to go "wow this is amazing" and then look at your own doc and go "and mine sucks"

But there are are few things to keep in mind.

You are currently writing a first draft, first drafts are usually rough and often bad in some way. You are at the stage where you should write it anyway even if the writing isn't super polished(that comes later) So keep in mind you are comparing your rough writing to something someone has polished up already. That and some authors have been polishing their craft for years.

I personally don't read as much when I am actively drafting to avoid this issue. I usually draft, then binge read, then draft again.

Your first story/writing doesn't need to be great. Originality is often overrated in fiction as very little is truly original. And in fanfic we love seeing tropes done over and over again.

Reading is one of the best ways to improve your writing. So when you are reading something good, instead of comparing how much better you think it is to your own work, look for what about the prose makes you like it and find some takeaways to inform your own work. Like "why is this author so good at conveying immediacy of emotion?" "how are they describing physical actions so fluidly?" etc. Reading good works (fanfic and original fiction) is a good way to improve.

Edit your work. The editing stage of writing is when it starts to actually sound good. So plan on having an editing stage and that can be when you make things sound better.

Read your work out loud. If you are worried about it sounding too dull and mechanical read it out loud to see if that's true. That can help some people find a more natural sound(and it is really helpful with dialogue especially) This would be something you do during the editing stage. Read sections you are struggling with out loud.

When you are at the editing stage have someone look at your work to beta read (this is scary but worth it in the end) this doesn't need to be another writer per se, a fandom friend etc, anyone who likes reading who you trust to give feedback (be clear with them about what kind of feedback you are looking for and how harsh they can be) If you don't feel ready for a beta reader just chat to someone about your work more casually and that can help too(keeps you excited and will likely prompt improvements as well)

This is a hobby and for fun. It's most important you get what you want out of it. You will not be perfect your first try and that's okay. Writing is a constant process of learning and improving with each new work.

If you are struggling with motivation on a larger project I might suggest trying to write a one-shot first. Something shorter and less complex to test the waters and to practice.

And finally everything you've expressed is really common and things that a lot of writers struggle with, so you are certainly not alone.

I hope you keep it up on your work, it's a lot of pain to bring a story to life but I assure you it's so worth it <3

[the-skin-inthe-bath-is-mine]

This is a personal project that I'll be embroidering and sewing by hand.

Okay so I'm planning the 20cm test before finishing the 10cm tests just because it takes a while to polish off the digital planning. Gives me something to do when I can't access my embroidery stuff. I have three characters in mind just because I'm currently limited to yellow/blonde hair + pale completion with fabric. I'm only gonna pick one to do for now. Doing an established character just in case I grow a pair and decide to sell it if the project turns out okay. Three different characters from three different fandoms+ rambling under the cut. I'll most likely be posting progress for whoever is picked like with most of my projects so if there's any bias for who anyone wants to see lmk. The possible test subjects are Satan (OBM) Raphael (WHB) and Nazuna Nito (Enstars)

Used my fandom blogs @ for the drawings out of habit. Oh and these all have some type of animal ears because I think it's cute. I wanna use snaps magnets or velcro to hold everything in place but I'm not sure yet.

Satan - Obey Me

The only one who looks halfway decent because I've been drawing him since 2021. My goal is to make a large scale Thirteen plushie with a lamb theme similar to the middle Satan. I also really don't like it when people delude Tanny to cat guy but I am a cat guy so he's most likely getting optional kitten ears if picked. The plain bows would just be plain embroidery but if the lamb design is picked I'll be embroidering fabric on top of fabric. I don't know what the methods called. I'm not a professional. I have an idea on how to make Satan's tail but would be weird to explain??? Possibly my favorite but that's just because the Obey Me brain worms run deep. Also the only one I feel confident in making clothes for.

Raphael - What in Hell is Bad

Look. We aren't gonna talk about why I'm playing the horny demon game. I don't understand why I play either. Anyway. I love Raphael's design too bad I wanna choke him in the most violent lest sexual way possible. This design would involve a lot of sewing fabric on fabric which I really don't mind. I have an idea on how to make little bandages that a kinda wanna tryout. The only thing is I'd like to add beads to the embroidery for his piercings. A bit of a price to pay for only doing one eye but I think it's worth it. This one specifically will also be good practice for using metallic embroidery thread. I'm torn between bunny and the fake horns??? Raphael is just annoying angry rabbit chewing on power cords coded. The only problem is I'd probably wanna make the other two dick heads eventually and *vague choking gestures* why are those freaks so damn pretty. Overall a lot of fun different textures to play with. The only thing is I probably won't post much about making him aside from helpful design components because dude is from a R18 game.

Nazuna Nito - Ensemble Stars

I actually already own a few Enstars plushies and plan on making both Jin and Akiomi for the larger scale tests. So. Yea. I don't think I need anymore??? The first is the easiest with the whole bunny thing. Probably gonna sew the fabric for the stomach art on and embroider around it. Second is loosely based on Nazuna's first 5* event card. It was the event that was going on when I started playing Enstars. Trying to figure out the game while playing Love it Love it still haunts my nightmares. The final one is based on his recent scout 5* I need to work on coloring gemstones but I think it'd translate nicely to embroidery. This design is gonna be the easiest out of this bunch. The most complicated thing will probably be color matching embroidery thread.

[kludges]

Quick little test drawings from a few months ago.

Thanks to a very special long-time commissioner/patron/overall supporter of my work, I was funded to make any project of my choosing. This proposal was given to me at the beginning of the year, and only in April did I think of what to do, when I had a discussion about screentones.

Long story short, I wanted to make lots of traditional art since it's something I really enjoy doing but need a lot of effort to do so. I also wanted to try applying a screentone effect, and then felt like making my own screentones by hand to use instead of real sheets.

So very many reasons as to why I did them by hand, which I sure can make a long and boring list on, but… how about I just not say any of it and allow people to come to their own conclusions?

-

The first part of the project was to experiment with making my own patterns to use and figure out how I could apply them (pictured in this upload). I drew patterns on tracing paper and applied them similarly to papier-mâché, with glue and water.

The second part was to make many small ink drawings to practice applying the patterns, which you'll see in the coming weeks.

The final part was to make two large illustrations (which eventually got down to one medium and one large illustration, since one of the small drawings ended up larger than planned) with these screentone patterns.

So yeah, it's been cool. A bit painstaking, but this project is going as I want it to go. I just finished up the large illustration today, and will be working on the final medium illustration. But since I'm just about done with this whole thing, I felt it'd be good to start posting them slowly.

-

This page features a cube, a small piece of seabed/aquarium or something, a Yumack from Moderneopets, and Jonjei my fursona.

[creativenicocorner]

2023 Writing Retrospective

That time of, hehe, New Year again folks, to contemplate over the rollercoaster event that was my writing journey of 2023!

I'm surprised by how much I did end up writing more than anything! And how some projects bloomed larger than I would have previously imagined. I'd like to think I've improved as well, which is inevitable made by practicing of course. I'm happier with how I write, despite knowing it isn't perfect (then again nothing is lol)

Trying the NaNoWriMo for the first time really changed things up in my approach I think, I'd like to try giving myself more of a disciplined approach to writing a little every day, even if it's one word...but I also realized just how tired I felt after November...so a soft middle ground will probably have to be found. I might try to use the website for other projects and set the deadline for far longer than just a month...we'll see!

I am happy that I'm not as disappointed with my own writing as I was with it last year...perhaps that too is a part of my growth as a writer. Could I have written more? Sure, but I've been far more wary of pushing myself and getting burned out last year. I need to remember to pace myself, to be kind, and that sometimes writing is just loafing about and doing other things and projects - and then the next thing you know WHAM 200 words pop in your head!

Anyways let's look at those cold hard numbers!!

2023 Total number of..

User Subscriptions: 17 Kudos: 341 Comment Threads: 61 Bookmarks: 81 Subscriptions: 70 Word Count: 107,804 Hits: 5,054

Top five hits/fics of 2023:

Glow Worms or rather: In the Depths of the Safflower Hills

Cold Green Tea and Colder Feet

Refrigerator Problem

Hand Rolled

Chapped Lips

2024 Goals

Honestly? To keep trying to make each new chapter / fic seem a little better than the last. Keep the progress going, while still remembering to be patient with myself (I'm not very patient with myself ^^;; )

I know I mention this often, but I'd like to attempt writing a multi-chaptered fic in its entirety before posting chapters...just once! Just to see what it is like. We'll see, we'll see... I'm not like in a hurry haha

I'd like to try and finish some of my Discworld Multi-chaptered fics...perhaps I'll use one of them in this theory, just to test it out. I'd love to get a new The Runaway's Gamble chapter out (or finish the fic this year, but I'm being soft with my goals this year) as well as get another Trial Runs and Errors chapter out (perhaps even finish the fic to start working on the next one in the Maurice and Lipwig series of shenanigans and adventures)

We'll see where my attention and heart takes me, cause it'd also be nice to get Glow Worms and Refrigerator Problem done

And yet I have so many other projects I'd like to jump into, like a Serizawa-centric serirei fic, or to finish Chapped Lips

I mean I know there's no rule in having to finish something before starting something else...technically I AM kind of working on them despite not posting anything...perhaps this is a way I could give that "finish the whole fic before posting it" a shot, or at least an attempt haha

I hope my quality continues to improve - but most of all I hope things become a little better.

If 2023 has taught me one thing, it's: let myself be surprised. And you know? I'd like to keep that energy moving forward into 2024

Thank you for reading this far!

I hope 2024 is kinder to us all than the last year, and we all grow and getting a little closer to our goals and dreams and happiness. Who knows where we'll be this time next year, hopefully it'll be a little better than today.

Anywho, stay awesome out there - don't forget to be kind to yourself and others.

And be safe

Best wishes!

[donnerpartyofone]

As a casual bystander, I see a lot of dialog about the economic aspects of AI art, and comparatively little about its actual artistic value--that is, what happens when the viewer consumes it. AI imagery can have a fun, surprising impact that I would compare superficially with broken english; someone who doesn't have mastery over the conventions of a language may come up with excitingly unusual expressions that would never occur to a native speaker. When I see AI art it seems like a lot of the action comes from looking at the prompt and looking at the image and kind of measuring the distance between them, trying to imagine the program's "thought process" if I can call it that. Sometimes these things have an interesting aesthetic too, but it's hard for me to tell where that comes from or how controllable it is (and I mean the real visual effect of the thing, not like "Oh I see, the prompt included 'comic book style'" or something). But the key difference between AI art and human art seems to be the physical presence of the person. I'm not even trying to be sentimental or something, I just mean when I look at most sculptures/paintings/drawings/installations/textiles/etc, I sense the person who made them. I get an idea about the physical energy and discipline and difficulty that went into the creation of the object, and I also get a feeling about what the artist meant by what they did. As a result of who they are and what they have experienced, they developed something that they wanted to say so badly that they were willing to undergo a major trial to say it in a highly specific way.

To be fair intentionality is really slippery and hard to prove unless the individual artist has been very explicit (and even then you can't always trust them, or you can decide their intention isn't as important as your interpretation), but to some degree the viewer is always helplessly projecting something about themselves onto the art and/or their personal construction of who the artist is. You look at art and you estimate what kind of experience that artist seems to have had, and your emotional and interpretive responses to the art naturally draw on your own feelings and memories. That whole part seems to be missing from AI art; of course there's the human composing the prompts, so there's a trace of psychology in that, but the actual creation of the work (as far as I can tell) is done by a program that is not reflecting on its own history, or the personal sacrifices that it made to build its skillset, or its feelings about its own social/political/historical context. Basically there is nothing the program is wrestling with, that the viewer might relate or react to.

Of course art is always a rorschach test on some level, and there is no law that says you have to view works of art as records of biographical fact. Actually there's a whole aspect of art history writing that totally rejects personal and psychological suppositions about art. One of my college advisors loved me when he saw my writing potential, and then completely turned on me when he realized that I was only interested in (or only capable of) a psychoanalytic style of interpretation (my thesis was on a selection of Crumb comics where the artist or his stand-in rides on or inside of powerful female bodies, driving them like tanks or jets, which I thought suggested fear, awe, and jealousy, not just garden variety misogyny). He was a pure historian; you were only allowed to do purely material investigations of the art object, and you could only talk about its larger historical context. He had done some big project on a famous painting cycle with an exclusive focus on the state of industrial paint production at the time of the work. In one of my first classes with him we all went to a museum where everyone was assigned a short essay on one piece there, and the rule was you could ONLY do a formal description, there could be NO interpretation. I wish I could think of the name of it, but my piece was just a clear plastic tube that was stuffed full of rubbish. Coming up with a compelling description of this thing was borderline impossible, I basically just had to list as many pieces of garbage as I could identify--which sounds sort of poetic and funny now, but I'm sure it wasn't when I wrote it. I don't know how much I learned from doing that, but I thought about this professor when I saw the Warhol Diaries docuseries recently. There's a late episode where they talk about Warhol's famous statements about wanting to be a machine and insisting that his art has no personal meaning, and a bunch of experts argue convincingly that his work is actually loaded with personal material, anxiety, longing, shame, etc--it's encoded with the things that Warhol was too afraid to say out loud in a literal way. One particular collector finds all of this totally repulsive and unnecessary, as if it's just a stain on the formal quality of Warhol's output. His way of seeing things is totally valid and not uncommon, but it's curious that he gets so angry when people see Warhol himself in the work. Now I wonder if and how this lens could apply to looking at AI art. Is it possible to do that same kind of purely formal analysis if you don't have an intimate understanding of the AI's mechanics? If it's not possible, and it's still IMpossible to view AI art the same sympathetic way we view human-produced art, what is left?

My question is not rhetorical, and I'm not saying that AI art can't be art because of the absence of human psychology; I don't know if I'm ready to make that conclusion. I think I'm saying that if AI art IS art, then consuming and appreciating it requires a really different philosophy than what most of us are used to using. It might even require a different definition of what makes something art. Maybe AI can produce art, but not art as we have known it. Are we sort of looking at AI art the way we look at shapes formed by clouds? That one looks like a heart. That one looks like a bunny. That one looks like a guy, but he's got too many fingers. My analogy is not perfect because there IS someone whose input inspires the shapes, but there is a similar entropic quality to what shapes are actually produced and why. If there is a God up there molding clouds into familiar shapes, then His thought process is probably beyond our comprehension. Our perception of familiar shapes may be pure projection.

[whitherwanderer]

Gyr Abanian Variant Dungeon interactive story update

So, just to follow up on something I mentioned a bit ago: I am still actively working on the Gyr Abanian Variant Dungeon interactive story. In fact, it's taken a bit of a turn for the better. ✨

I've had a loose structure that's mostly finished and I originally planned on using Carrd to facilitate it. I even started mapping that out on a test Carrd already! BUT, one of my friends (thank you Sbahi ;u;) reminded me that Twine exists and showed me some examples of other non-linear, interactive stories on itch.io that are far and above what Carrd would ever be capable of. I had actually looked into Twine at the beginning of this project, but the stories I tried out on the main page were unimpressive and didn't take advantage of Twine's options, so I assumed it simply wasn't capable of going beyond Carrd's capabilities. I was so wrong, as evidenced by the incredibly rich stories she sent to me from itch.io.

So this means that the story will be capable of a lot more than Carrd would ever be, potentially including:

Multiple save slots

A record of each path you've taken and corresponding entries

Player text inputs (choosing a job, setting your name, saying "O loveliest of branches, please grant me your succor!" in a bid to win over an angry pixie, etc.)

Remaining mobile friendly (!!)

There's more it could potentially do that I'm not going to incorporate (e.g. dice rolls, combat encounters, stat tracking) and more I might actually use that I don't even know about yet since I'm still learning how to use it, but this marks a big shift in the potential of the story to feel a little bit more like the actual in-game dungeon.

I usually don't like to announce my projects loudly because I'm one of those people that has like 3 at a time and the chance of finishing them is closer to 0% than it is to 100%, but this is kind of different! The content of the project is mostly complete and now all I have to do is the (decidedly larger) job of figuring out how to use Twine to make it feel like a real FFXIV story. And I'm kind of excited about that.

I'm hoping to have something to show for it next time I make an update. Stay tuned, I suppose. 💛

[lil-tumbles]

I'm really angry right now. TW Suicide, political transphobia

Okay so, any of my british mutuals will know about the ban on puberty blockers to treat gender dysphoria in England - and now Northern Ireland, too. And we all know about the complete lack of actual, credible, good quality evidence, the way the government actually explcitly went "we will not be listening to the voices of the community affected by this" and then turned around and only listened to transphobes, and most of all, we all know about the dangers of the puberty blocker ban, specifiically the increased suicide risk. This article from the goodlawproject talks about whistleblowers who revealed that there was a dramatic increase in suicides among trans people on the waiting list for the gender identity development service after the tories restricted trans healthcare back in 2020, after Bell vs Tavistock.

You may also have seen this article from July, re-published in a bunch of newspapers. I hadn't before today, and it's what's making me so angry, because I only have some basic knowledge about statistical testing, and even I know this is absolute bullshit. Let's break it down.

First off, it says Professor Appleby, the guy who conducted the review, found 12 suicides at the Tavistock over the three years before and three years after the restrictions. Becuase he only used Tavistock, and ignored attempted suicides. He did not look at the wider picture, and then tries to generalise his claims to the entire population of people needing puberty blockers?? babygirl that's just bad science. The whisteblowers told of a total of 17 (1 before, 16 after Bell vs Tavistock) from across the whole GIDS waiting list... an actually appropriate fucking sample that should have been investigated.

Oh, and that one? that was in seven years. Seven fucking years. And the 16 were in only three. Whereas this fool only looked at three years either side. This means he misses the larger picture - he ignores the very real possibility that increased transphobia leading up to government anti-trans action could have also accounted for the similarity in number. He should have also done a wider investigation into, say, the decade before the Bell case and subsequent anti-trans government action.

We've talked about neglect of the present (only focussing on patients at Tavistock), about neglect of the past (only looking at the three years before, so inable to see any kind of pattern), but we haven't talked about the future. This review's purpose wasn't just to tell us what happened (which it failed to do), it was to use the past to provide the government with an idea of the risk of their actions. This should also have included a risk assesment with projected figures on likely suicide rates following the puberty blocker ban. Now, I haven't been able to find the actual review, only news articles talking about it, so maybe he did do this, but it really doesn't seem like he did. The articles say that he was using these figures to find the statistical significance. This is a number that you use a statsitical test to work out following results of a clinical trial - may I remind the court that this was not a fucking clinical trial, this was real childrens' lives, what the actual fuck. But let's focus on the number itself for a sec. This man said that the rise from 5 to 7 suicides comparing the two sets of three years was normal fluctuation and is not statistically significant.

Using the numbers he had, that's true. Now, I don't have all the numbers he did, so I'm going to have to do a little guesswork, but here we go: I am going to use the chi-squared independent test, the '5' and '7' from Appleby's review, the figure '9000' for post-2020 number of patients (based on this), and the figure '5,000' for pre-2020 (based on this). My sources are far from perfect but it's all I can find so here we are.

The p-value from this data is "0.667099". Any value above 0.05 should be taken to be significant; this is not below 0.05, so yes, it is insignificant. (also, the X^2 Test Statistic is 0.185015, if anyone is interested).

The review could have been good for what it was really measuring: relationship between government action against trans rights on Tavistock patients. But the fact that it was supposed to be a review on the entire damn situation with puberty blockers means that it falls short and should not be used as evidence in this debate, let alone generalised to such a degree and brandished about by news outlets and the government as proof that trans activists are dangerous for talking abotu the relationship between suicide and lack of access to puberty blockers.