#just a couple of neat drawings I made so I can have a proper visualization of the little guys🥺🥰🫶

[transformers-bold-bright-brisk]

Hey, hey, hey! Art coming your way!

If you’ve followed my other blog for a while you might recognize a couple of these characters. The height charts were mainly for helping me get the basic layout for each character’s design and I am absolutely proud about how each and every one of them turned out🥰🥰🥰

[gavin-plz-call-me]

i saw you did an nsfw alphabet for wannabe challenge so i was wondering if you could do one for tears of themis? i'd love to see one for artem

Hell yeah, alphabets are the only nsfw stuff I'm good at writing

AO3

Artem NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

-Stills inside/beside you for a moment while you both catch your breath, then he’s combing through your hair, peppering your body with loving kisses.

-Has wet wipes/tissues to help clean you up at arm's length, so if let’s be honest, when you whine about not wanting to leave his side just yet, he can help you clean up.

-If you’re still clingy after a while, this man will carry you to the bathroom to get the rest of the way cleaned up.

-If you find yourself in a more dominant role in the bedroom sub Artem? It’s more likely than you think be prepared to pepper that man with so much love and care.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

-His favorite body part of himself is his eyes. They’re a nice color, but I don’t think he thinks about his appearance too much.

-As for you, would it be cliche to say your brain?

-While your beauty was what attracted him first, your mind is what really sealed the deal.

-Your mouth is a close second, because it helps you voice your thoughts in that beautiful voice of yours and, I mean, if you wanted to give him a blow job too he wouldn’t be complaining…

-Is an ass man.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

-Is hesitant on deciding where to cum.

-He thinks cumming anywhere in/on you would not be a very pleasant experience for you.

-But in the heat of the moment, he’ll probably end up cumming inside you if he’s wearing protection, or on your thighs/ass if he’s not.

-When he cums, whether it be in you or on you, he’s grabbing you a tissue when he comes down from his high to clean you up.

-If you swallow his cum he’ll be a little disgusted, but a lot turned on.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

-Has masturbated in his office after you’ve left on multiple occasions.

-Sometimes the perfume you were wearing was extra enticing, sometimes what you were wearing made you look extra hot, and sometimes your presence alone is enough to get him hot and excited.

-Is mostly ashamed about the times he did it before you two were dating because it felt like an intrusion of your privacy.

-Once Celestine came to his office right after he finished and he was so mortified that she’d somehow be able to tell that he did something. She knew something was up because of how much he was blushing, but she didn’t know what exactly

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

-Big old virgin

-I’m not even saying that to be mean plus being a virgin isn’t bad it’s just true.

-Sure, his lack of experience may be a bit of a hindrance at first, but he’s a clean slate.

-He’s not gonna be doing some weird thing with your clit because a girl he was with before liked that.

-Train him to perfectly pleasure you, and, trust me, he’s a fast learner.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

-Your first few times together he only did missionary, because, while he knew there were other options, he didn’t know how to initiate them.

-As he got more experience, however, he grew to absolutely love doggy style.

-Loves your ass, so it’s an obvious choice. Plus, if he’s extra flustered, he can easily hide it.

-Grips your ass extra hard while kissing your neck and back. If he’s feeling extra brave, expect a few whispers about how good you feel.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

-He has his goofy moments, but most of the time he’s 100% serious.

-Whether it be because he’s concentrating on learning how to pleasure you correctly, or, when he’s gained a bit of experience, just concentrating on both of your pleasure.

-I feel like as you guys get closer, however, an awkward moment may turn into a brief bout of giggles shared between the two of you before continuing.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

-Shaved himself completely when you two started dating.

-Was convinced you’d be disgusted by any hair down there. My poor insecure baby

-When he gets more comfortable around you, he’ll let it grow out, but he still trims it to keep it neat.

-Carpets match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

-Is a whore for a sexy, romantic atmosphere.

-I’m talking rose petals, candles, and a couple of glasses of non-alcoholic wine.

-Wanna have the most romantic love-making session imaginable? Set all of that up for him instead of the other way around.

-He’ll be so in love with you at that moment he’ll have no choice but to give you the best orgasms you’ve ever had.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

-Before meeting you, he jacked off maybe once or twice a week, and it was more of something he had to do than something he wanted to do.

-When he met you, he thought you were the most attractive person he’d ever seen, so his sex drive and, naturally, his masturbation sessions increased.

-Increased to every other day, maybe every day. He tried to not think of you during these times as he felt it was an invasion of privacy emphasis on tried.

-After finally getting together with you, his sessions have decreased back down to once or twice a week.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

-Likes having sex in his office, but that’s the most public space he’ll do it in.

-Also loves it when you’re slightly dominant on him.

-Doesn’t want to do any of the more kinky stuff, tying him or you, depending on his mood with a tie is about as far as he’ll go.

-But just take charge, he loves it.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

-Can’t go wrong with the good old fucking in bed. It’s easy, comfortable, and you guys can take as long as you want.

-Get him riled up at work by wearing something that beautifully shows of your ass, or make sure he knows you’re wearing that pair of panties you know he loves or, fuck it, no panties at all he’ll polietly ask you into his office so he can fuck your brains out.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

-Loves when you assert yourself, especially at work.

-Get all confident during a trial because you know you’re going to win? That’s all the motivation he needs.

-Does not help his productivity at all, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

-Expect to fuck after a trial, extra hard if you won.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

-No threesomes/group sex.

-It’s not even because he’ll get jealous okay maybe a bit of that but you were his first and only. Everything he’s learned about sex has been about specifically pleasuring you, he wouldn’t know where to begin when having sex with other people.

-He’s more than content with you being his one and only.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

-Not skilled at the beginning like all things sexual, but he’s a fast learner.

-Good communication is key here, as it is in all aspects of sex with Artem. Guide him to where you want to be pleasured, praise him when you really like what he’s doing, and give him some delicious moans and he’ll be a pro at fucking you with his tounge alone in no time.

-Is too shy to ask for you to go down on him, and will insist you don’t have to when you try to initiate it.

-Ignore him and do it, the noises you draw from him are absolutely worth it.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

-Starts off at a weird middle ground sort of pace, not fast and not slow.

-Is fond of slow and sensual when he grows more experienced, but will occasionally get rough with you.

-That usually happens when he gets a bit too jealous of a guy who got a bit too close to you for your liking.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

- doesn’t really have a choice in the matter at the beginning, mr. 30 seconds (sorry Artem)

-For real, he prefers longer love-making sessions, but if you’re teasing him in the office a quickie will ensue.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

-Grows more confident the more the two of you have sex.

-He does like fucking in his office, so he likes a bit of risk, but there being too many people in the office, or the chance of Celestine walking in at anytime, Artem would much rather feign working on a case and take you home.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

-At first, like most virgin boys, his stamina is basically nonexistent.

-Let him take his time, he’ll get to fucking you until the sun rises in no time at all.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

-Has never thought about getting one for himself when his hand does the job well enough.

-Is very open to using toys on you in the bedroom, especially when he’s feeling insecure about his ability to please you which happens often, scream his name and make him forget those insecurities.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

-Not a teaser in the slightest.

-You want something specific in the bedroom? He’s already doing it, you barely have to ask.

-On the flip side, sort of loves it when you’re unfair to him.

-Just barely touch him and stop at the brink of his orgasm, he gets a sick sort of pleasure from that.

-It also helps him gain more control over himself in the bedroom, so it’s a win-win.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

-May try to stay quiet, after all, in all the porn he’s watched which isn’t a lot because I feel like watching it makes him feel uncomfortable the man is always basically silent.

-That does not work out for him, though. He gets so overwhelmed with pleasure that he can’t control what his vocal cords are doing.

-Gains a bit more control over it over time, but he realizes you like his moans, so he stops trying to keep them at bay.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

-Is a total switch.

-Can be pretty dominant at some times see his atmospheric card

-But I can totally see him wanting you to dom him sometimes. Loves seeing you dominate the court, if you bring that energy to bed, oh boy is he like putty in your hands.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

-He’s of average girth and slightly above average length. Has a nice, thick vein that runs the length of his penis.

-Uncut.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

-Has a very active imagination how else would he become such a great lawyer?

-And while that helps him out in his work, anything about you can really set him off.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

-Is out like a light

-Especially the first few times, his body doesn’t know what hit him.

-But even after a while, he works so hard that the moment he has the chance to fall asleep, his body is taking that chance.

-Make sures to stay up long enough to get cleaned off and help you clean yourself up.

[wheres-sam]

I binge-watched the spn anime because of the brain rot

It’s bad except for the parts that are good, and it’s pretty to look at. Here’s a comprehensive list of pros and cons. Spoilers ahead!

Pros:

- more psychic kid backstories: Max (Nightmare), Lily (Darkness Calling), Jake (Loser)

- more psychic Sam

- more Azazel

- basically if you want more about the psychic/demon kids, watch the anime

- more young Winchesters

- the monsters, the superhuman abilities, the fight scenes, it all looks really cool animated. (But PSA it’s violent. It doesn’t shy away from blood and gore.)

- Sam and Jessica backstory

- more of the brothers being cute and funny together

- Missouri isn’t forgotten

- includes some Japanese legends/mythology

- the impala looks great in every scene. They did Baby good

- the “Supernatural” intro title

- the outro sketches of the boys hanging out with Baby

- Episodes adapted from the original show are different, but I like some of the changes? It’d be boring if it was an exact retelling and the visual medium wasn’t utilized. (I know I said spoilers before, but this is when they get detailed. If you wanna skip over, I’ll tell you where they STOP.)

Nightmare goes more into the abuse Max has suffered. Instead of locking Sam in a closet, Max sends Sam through the floor and covers the hole by breaking his bed in half, and it’s extremely sexy how Sam shoves the 2 halves apart with his mind. Later on Dean puts bandaids on Sam and they talk about demons loudly in front of a fast food intercom.

In My Time of Dying highlights the guilt Sam feels over Dean. In both the og and the anime John verbally blames Sam for not shooting Azazel, but where in the og Sam goes right on arguing, in the anime he reels back for a moment like he was slapped. Dean’s spirit touches Sam’s shoulder, and Sam knows immediately that it’s Dean. He doesn’t even question it. Instead of “Are you here?” it’s “I know you’re with me. I can feel it.” And I love that. Dean figures out right away he’s dealing with a reaper, and the reaper takes on the appearance of Mary to convince Dean to move on to the afterlife. Instead of a Ouija board, Sam uses a laptop to talk to Dean, and the first word Dean types is “Sammy!” Dean is so fond of his little brother and Sam is so baby.

Rising Son is an anime only episode, but it draws inspiration from John’s journal. Dean has a proper breakdown over his dad’s death and the possibility of having to kill Sam. Ms. Lyle, Sam’s favorite teacher who turns out to be possessed, is explored. John takes Dean hunting, and in the journal Dean hesitates to shoot a buck, and little Sam shoots it thinking it was endangering Dean. In the anime, Dean’s cornered by a moose and Sam makes it explode with his mind and it’s so !!! How little Sam’s first words are, “I’m glad you’re okay. It didn’t hurt you?” The boys are covered in blood and guts and Dean’s like 👁👄👁 “Why are you here? Did you do this?” And then Sam starts freaking out a little, the shock sets in. “I don’t know. I don’t know, honest.” And he’s staring at his hands, and I am a big fan of Sam showing superhuman signs as a kid. Like in the journal, Ms. Lyle tries to take Sam. She gives Sam the illusion of a choice to come with her or stay with Dean, and Sam chooses Dean. This ep is pretty much when John figures out Sam has demon blood. He kills another hunter that wants to kill Sam.

Crossroad is based on Crossroad Blues, and I love how the crossroads demon shows up. It’s hard to describe, but it’s so neat, like she’s walking underneath Dean in this mirror world, and then the mirror world takes over the regular world, so you really get this sense of otherworldly seclusion, existing outside of time.

What Is and Should Never Be shows Dean is a firefighter in his ‘Mary never died’ world, and Sam got to play soccer growing up like he wanted. The brothers hold each other after Dean is saved from the Djinn.

AHBL part 1. When Azazel shows Sam that he fed Sam his blood, Sam gags and slaps a hand over his mouth, and I like that reaction more than the live action. The psychic kids get to go more anime with their powers, and that’s a lot of fun. They don’t need weapons. Ava slams Sam into the brick side of a building and cuts him without touching him. Jake snaps Ava’s neck with one hand and then catches Sam in his arms. When Jake attacks Sam, there’s no gun or knife. He’s relying on his super strength, his fists. Sam throws his arms up to protect himself, and (accidentally?) pushes Jake back with his mind, and the collision creates a crater in the ground. Jake puts his fist through Sam’s chest to kill him. It’s brutal and it’s rad as fuck. These kids are terrifyingly powerful.

The Sam and Dean reunion before Sam is killed is not as emotional as the live action imo, but what the anime does intrigues me. Hurts in a different way. Because Sam is stunned after he uses telekinesis again, on Jake, and when he hears Dean behind him Sam freezes. He doesn’t look relieved to see Dean, but wary and weary. It’s Dean taking steps towards him, not the other way around, and it has to be because Sam doesn’t know if Dean saw him push Jake back. Sam doesn’t know how Dean’s going to respond to all this, to him, having powers that come from a demon, the demon, Azazel. Sam hasn’t had a chance to process anything. He’s scared. He’s tired. And the way the anime focuses on Sam’s eyes here. Gah. “Dean. Dean, I’m...” I’m sorry. I’m all right. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m a monster. There’s also this one shot between Sam and Azazel that sends me because of how anime it is.

AHBL part 2. I love how Sam brought back to life is animated, with all the color returning to his face and a light wind rustling his hair and his lips parting to indicate his soul returning to his body. Jake attacks Dean, and, a lot like how Sam activates telekinesis to save Dean from Max in Nightmare, Sam gets a burst of superhuman strength. He rips Jake’s arm off and tackles him to the ground and beats him to death, punches holes into his body, and it’s so savage and bloody and scary, and I love it. The Devil’s Gate opening looks so cool animated. Same goes for Dean shooting Azazel with the Colt.

Not to turn this into a meta post, but I also noticed how the last couple times Sam uses his powers they’re colored green-yellow, the same colors as Mary’s ghost when she reveals herself in the anime’s Home, and I don’t know if that’s intentional, but it’s neat how it draws a connection to Sam’s biological family instead of Azazel’s blood.

The Spirit of Vegas is like Bad Day at Black Rock, but Dean has all the bad luck instead, and it shows off the silly cartoony physics that make animation fun. The boys sleep outside and split a chunk of bread for dinner. Also this lil bit of Dean’s hair tied in a bow.

- (STOP) the brothers are pretty. I am not immune to animated Sam and Dean Winchester.

Cons:

- Jensen doesn’t voice Dean until the last 2 episodes

- The English dialogue is really bad sometimes. I wish I could’ve watched the sub, but I couldn’t figure out how to change the language

- Some character designs are really different from the live action, and maybe that’s petty, but if you’re gonna change the characters diversify them? Don’t just make them unrecognizable white people

- Missouri’s design as a stereotypical witch doctor is racist

- Gordon is replaced by some British guy named Jason?? Why

- There’s an LGBT character who is not accepted by her family and, while that bigotry is always shown to be negative and she dies the hero of the episode, she still dies ://

- In the English dub Lily’s gf is made into her roommate instead. Idk about the sub

- Bobby’s pretty much a totally different character

- Sam and Dean are OOC sometimes

- Dean’s hair usually looks darker than Sam’s and it drives me crazy

- The storytelling is, overall, not nearly as good as the live action

- The non-Japanese lore in some episodes makes no sense. Sometimes it’s just plain ridiculous?? Like there’s a giant robot made of cars and scrap metal controlled by a demon? ? I wish I was making this up

- Meg’s role is severely reduced

- No Harvelles or Roadhouse

- Shadows are overused, but maybe that’s because the og show is so dark?

- I don’t mind the art style. I like the aesthetic, but I wish it was a little more expressive. It doesn’t do Sam’s puppy eyes justice.

- AZAZEL’S SHADOW?? PROPORTIONS?? PEA SIZED HEAD

- Idk why they mashed season 1 and 2 together? The story feels rushed

- there’s not as much chemistry between Sam and Dean, but that’s a given without J2 on screen

- Nobody tells you!! That there’s scenes after the credits!! And some of them are important! Why are important scenes after the credits??

The anime would not be good on its own, without the heart and depth the live action brings, but it works as supplementary material you can cherry pick from. I would watch more if there were more episodes.

It hasn’t turned me off from wanting an spn anime. I’d like to see it continued or redone, with updated animation and better scripts. There’s a lot of potential in exploring more about the psychic kids and Sam’s powers, storylines that were cut short in the og show. Animation is a great medium for showing off the supernatural, getting creative and creepier with the designs, dramatic with the fight scenes, without having to worry about bad CGI. I don’t want a live action reboot, but I think a redone animated series could be a lot of fun! (As long as it’s not an excuse to make any romantic ships take over. SPN is a platonic love story, and I like it that way.)

If you made it to the end here and are interested in watching the spn anime, you can watch it for free on the CW Seed app! You can probably stream it elsewhere, but idk where!

[mst3kproject]

1013: Danger: Diabolik

 I haven’t seen this episode.  How could I possibly just sit down and watch what was, for years and years, the last ever episode of MST3K?  I’ve always felt there would be something symbolic about that, like it would somehow mean the show was ‘really’ over, and even though I know it’s irrational, that feeling is even stronger now that we’ve had two new seasons.  So here is the movie, but I won’t be discussing the episode at all.

Despite all the precautions attendant on a shipment of ten million dollars, master thief Diabolik and his girlfriend-slash-accomplice Eva still manage to get away with the loot.  While they head back to their extravagant underground lair to have sex in a big pile of money, the government tries to figure out what they’re going to do about this intolerable situation.  They grant emergency powers to the police.  They make deals with gangsters.  They even offer a one million dollar reward – nothing works!  When Diabolik blows up the tax offices, threatening the country with bankruptcy, it seems there’s only one thing left to do: protect the national treasury by pouring all its gold reserves into one giant, twenty-ton ingot. Surely, even Diabolik can’t steal that… can he?

Danger: Diabolik reminds me of several things.  The most obvious is the Adam West Batman show.  Part of this is just the colourful sixties milieu and the overblown, comic book feel of everything that happens – but Diabolik himself, with his fancy gadgets, his high-tech cave, and his apparently untold wealth, seems very much like a Batman of Crime. He’s even got things helpfully labeled like the ‘anti-exhilirating-gas pills’.  The only thing those are missing is the word bat.  But it also makes me think of First Spaceship on Venus, in that it’s a movie in which a lot happens, but it still feels weirdly unfocused because it has no interest in its people.

This begins with the writing.  Every scene in the movie is merely functional – it imparts information about what just happened, or what’s going to happen next, and then it’s done.  There’s very little that might be considered character development, and opportunities for it are almost always sidetracked into artistic nudity. The acting does nothing to save it, either. Not a single member of the cast ever tries to infuse their characters with any personality.  Diabolik himself is merely cackling evil, the gangsters are stock gangsters, the politicians are buffoons.  It’s not going to help that the whole movie is dubbed, but the physical performances aren’t any more interesting.

Diabolik and Eva pull off several heists, stealing money, jewels, and finally the enormous gold bar, always managing to escape right out from under the noses of the police.  The crimes themselves are fun to watch, as we are introduced to the various precautions taken and see how the criminals manage to outwit them, but we never get any idea of these two as human beings.  Thieving and sex are their entire lives, and we don’t even know why they do these things.  They don’t seem to use the items they steal.  The money just gets used as a mattress, the emeralds are thrown into a lake, and we have no idea what, if anything, they were going to do with the gold.  They seem to do this stuff just because they can.

Diabolik himself never even has a proper name.  The one person who might use it is Eva, but she never does, and the police are oddly unconcerned with his identity.  There’s a sequence in which they believe they have him dead on a table, but they make no effort to figure out who he is besides being Diabolik.  After he escapes, there are no wanted posters with his face on them.  This seems to reinforce that Diabolik is not really a person, he’s just Diabolik.  As Crow once said, who you are is irrelevant.

Of course, plenty of movies have a main villain who is nothing more than an evil force.  What keeps us interested in those is the good guys, with their relationships, personalities, and conflicts.  Danger: Diabolik doesn’t have any of that, either.  Opposing Diabolik are various government and police officials, who spend most of the movie shouting impotently and being made fools of.  We’re clearly not supposed to like or root for them, either.  The closest thing Diabolik has to a hero is Inspector Ginko, who sees Diabolik as a personal arch-nemesis.  He is competent and intelligent enough, but he’s not interesting.

What this means is that even as the crimes (and the attempts to prevent them) grow ever more outrageous, and the escapes ever more daring, nothing in Diabolik ever feels like it’s really at stake.  Since we don’t care about any of these people, we’re basically just watching to see what happens next.  It’s less like a story and more like some kind of Rube Goldberg machine. The inner workings are elaborate and it’s neat to see how all the pieces fit together, but the audience never gets involved.

Insofar as Danger: Diabolik has any kind of point to make, it’s pretty obviously about government incompetence, but it doesn’t have much to say about it.  The elected officials in the movie are unable to get anything done.  They shout a lot and hold press conferences, but none of it has an effect on the real world. The aristocrats, embodied in the British couple, are frivolous and out of touch with reality – Sir Harold is a senile old coot who plays with toy soldiers, and his wife thinks a crime spree is ‘frightfully romantic’.  Diabolik’s crimes show them to the people for the fools they are.

If this were intended as commentary, it’s strange that we are never shown how the common people react to Diabolik and what he does.  The only time we get a look at the man on the street is a brief glimpse of television viewers laughing about the destruction of the tax offices.  One may get the impression that while the government is panicking about Diabolik, ordinary people either don’t care, or indeed, think it’s all a big joke – and why shouldn’t they?  Their government are jackasses, and it’s the government that Diabolik is stealing from.  As long as his victims are not private citizens, it’s all in good fun.

Both the movie and the Diabolik comics are Italian, and Italy is of course a country with a notorious history of… let’s be nice and say ‘troubled government’.  We are never given a name for the country in which all this is supposed to be happening, but assuming it’s a stand-in for Italy seems reasonable enough. Perhaps an Italian audience would automatically assume the citizens are rooting for Diabolik, because the government are fools and deserve what they get.  The bit with the million dollar reward tends to support this, actually – as does Dr. Vernier’s warning to Eva.  Nobody wants to turn Diabolik in, not because they’re afraid of him, but because he’s something of a hero to them.

Even then, there’s still something missing, because Diabolik doesn’t care what anybody thinks of him.  He shows no interest in fame, never even bothering to say anything about it. He never leaves his hideout except to perform his next heist.  Sometimes he does seem to be doing things for political reasons, such as the laughing gas prank or his letter saying he’s blowing up the tax offices so that the government can’t waste any more public money on rewards.  Other crimes, such as the theft of the emeralds, seem to have no motive at all except perhaps to entertain Eva.  His inner life is a complete mystery to us.

While Diabolik is poorly-written and poorly-acted, I have to say it does look pretty good.  The elaborate sets and matte paintings that represent Diabolik’s lair are a lot of fun, and there’s some really well-set-up shots.  The whole movie is colourful and campy, but it often goes just a tiny bit too far with its visuals, veering off into weird, artsy asides.  The opening credits, over footage of unidentifiable stuff spinning around and around, made me feel a little ill.  The sequence of cartoon faces while the prostitute describes Eva to the sketch artist is just weird and unnecessary.  A lot of the stuff in Diabolik’s lair, intended to showcase the set design, goes on just a little too long, testing the audience’s patience and drawing attention to their careful staging.

I wonder if a lot of this stuff wasn’t based on things that worked perfectly well in the comics but didn’t translate to the screen.  That’s probably true of some of the artsy shots – you can have something like that in a comic and it won’t come across as contrived, but if you try to put it in a live-action movie the artifice of it is obvious.  The sketch artist sequence feels like a tribute of some sort to comic book art, but it’s intrusive and doesn’t do anything for the story.  Diabolik’s complete lack of identity outside his crimes would probably fare better in two dimensions than it does in three.

Or maybe it’s one of those adaptations that assumes you’re already familiar with the source material or you wouldn’t be watching it.  Maybe the comics did deal with things like Diabolik’s motivations and how people outside the government feel about him.  If so, the film has failed as an adaptation.  Moving into a new medium should bring more people into an audience, not shut them out.

[lo-and-behold-ocelittle]

“Horror Vacui” or the fear of the blank page [for amateur artists]

[A really long post]

If you fit this description, this post is for you:

I’m a hobby artist/writer/creator with a broad interest and I don’t have enough to time to practice any of my interests beyond the amateur level. Creating is something I commit to about 10 to 15 times a year - when I need help, I don’t want to take an online course, just give it to me quick and dirty and I’ll see to the turnover.

This post contains:

mandatory motivation delineation

step-by-step drawing guide for amateur artists by an amateur artist

all reference pictures for the above

tracing - a technique shunned by my Grade 8 art teacher and the last time I attended art class

cross-hatching and contours

a tiny bit of perspective

a bit of shading

tools

tips for shaky hands

Why this post, when the internet has countless of tips to overcoming writers’/artists’/creators’ block already? 

I mean, Google churns out some 20 million search results in under 0.55 seconds! That’s like 10 search results you are might look at tops - 20 if you’re desperate enough to go to page 2 - and realize most of the tips a lot of work, not worth the trouble, things you’ve tried before, or too abstract to be applicable to the thing.

One thing most of these guides get right: getting started is the most crippling step of the creative process.

The most common advice to overcoming your block - so I have read countless times - is establishing a routine until you “instinctively” know how to achieve your goal. Are they wrong? No, definitely not. Is it good advice though? Depends; at least not for me - and if you’ve read this far, then not for you either.

What are my other options?

Planning. And being aware of all the tools at your disposal. I documented the process of this drawing as an example. This process has limited applicability to paintings.

You will need:

an idea

drawing utensils

paper (some scraps to start with)

patience

Step 1: Rough Sketching

Take scrap paper. Unless your documenting this (hi, mom) you’ll throw this away asap. Get down the rough shape. This may a while and will involve you questioning your sanity - barge through the doubt, don’t erase what you’ve made, use the best parts and try again.

Example:

I would like to draw a cat. I take a pencil and...

Lol, no. Cats are not pizza with ears.

 Let’s try that again. Maybe a reference picture will help.

Much better. Start with some crude shapes but sketch out the entire body with shapes like they do in some drawing guides - only draw what you need. In this case about two and a half ovals are enough. Now make a better copy beside that initial sketch - I hate doing them on top of the first because that gets messy real quick. Draw some helping lines from the reference image. Don’t bother too much with proportions or posture, or going big; all these sketches are about 6 by 4 cm. 

I want to draw a companion for this steampunk cat, about the same shape and posture with a head tilted one way and the torso another. She’ll need a proper headdress too - I went through three options visually and added some notes for other ideas I had in case neither of these worked out.

Step 2: Break it down

Break down the drawing into smaller bits and pieces and look up reference images if you need them. 

I broke down my sketch into:

Head/Face

Torso/Clothes

Hat

Fan

The head

I want my cat to look slightly to the left and this is what I found online:

Not quite

Almost

Perfect

The torso

I found this image, which contained most of the parts I needed. I didn’t like the hat, head, fan, and all the mice scampering about ‘er so I just took the torso - the corset is really neat. Unfortunately, her posture is not quite what I need so that will be the biggest challenge for this body part.

The hat

I considered a few options such as this 1920s flapper’s headpiece and a couple of Victorian hats before settling on this one.

The fan

I own two so no reference image necessary.

You can keep a couple of tabs (or books, if you have some at hand) open in case you change your mind while drafting.

Step 3: Fine Sketching

This is the hardest part but if you’ve made it this far, you might as well go all the way, right? Understand how your brain operates and beat it at its own mind-game: create a sunk-cost-fallacy and drive yourself forward.

There three ways to get your fine sketch onto paper:

Cool, if you can pull it off go for it, usually takes the longest if you lack the practice (like I do)

Generally a good approach, especially when scaling up

Use a ruler to measure and plot key points of your outline

Print it and hold it against a window. 

If it’s dark outside unhinge that glass cabinet door, duct tape it between two tables and put a lamp beneath. 

Pull it up on your screen and adjust your zoom. Be careful with the pressure of your pen!

Use sticky tape to prevent it from slipping

(Below) Using a reference grid (the dots) on a canvas for another project.

(Below) Tracing the head. Slight rotation of the page to achieve the desired orientation of the head.

I also traced the torso and the head first. Then I added some rough shapes for the arms and the fan - this was also when I realized I can use the fan to hide parts of the face I don’t want to draw. Everything ended up a little twisted and short so I dashed lines where I want these limbs to go. The fabric of the corset also needs to be pulled up on the right and pushed down on the left, hence the arrow there. The neck is way too long too. Add some more notes of things you want to change - like adding a fuck-ton of flowers to the hat.

To judge whether the proportions make sense take a look at yourself in the mirror or ask random people in the hallway to pose for you - afterwards exchange a friendly, confused smile and move on.

(Below) First fine draft after about 5 hours of intermittent work - just take breaks when you’re bored, but leave it prominently lying in your way so you don’t forget about it. I reconstructed the arms’ outlines and added some bold comments.

Once you have everything you need, clean up your first draft as much as possible by erasing help lines and drawing strong borders. Next, open something bright on your screen (or whatever your tracing equipment happens to be), tape a blank paper to your first sketch and take down all the details you want to keep. You can move the paper around to shorten or elongate distances.

Add borders if you want to frame the drawing later.

Now change all the things you don’t like. I changed the cat lady’s hat to be less round because I didn’t want her to wear a wide-brimmed bowler and added a fuck-ton of flowers and - for good measure - a feather. If you can’t draw the feather flicking back up like me, hide it behind the brim of the hat.

Think about any fur you want interacting with the fabric (hat or collar). I added one curl to flow down the left side of her collar - didn’t really work out but A for effort.

Add any major decorative elements like the fish on her corset or the patterns on her fan.

Add major textures like the lines on the brim of her straw hat. The dotted texture on her sleeve was way too fine and didn’t carry over to the next tracing. The same goes for the shading from the last draft, which didn’t carry over well and I ended up bundling all the fur together in larger bundles.

Save the puffy shoulders for last (because I had no idea what to do there and eventually opted for “brains”).

(Below) About 90 minutes on the face to compartmentalize all strands of fur into proper bundles. Note six key bushels that define her expression: on both side of her nose, her “eyebrows” and the trailing of her eyes. Look up cartoon cats for help. 2 hours on her torso and another hour on her shoulders.

Clean it up again and judge your work. If you are still unhappy with the positioning, do another tracing. Don’t forget to embolden all important features

Step 4: Inking the outline!

You’re patience is paying off! Next up is inking! Inking is fun! 

Oh shit-

Don’t ink your final draft!

Step 4a: Screw up

I never get my inking right on the first try and it’s hard to hide mistakes you made with ink. I ran my draft through the photocopier once (because I didn’t want to trace it) so my mistake here wasn’t that big a deal - I lost five minutes and this paper went into the my scrap tray. Always start inking the most difficult part so you don’t regret screwing up after being almost done.

At this point I realized I couldn’t erase the pencil lines anymore and went back to tracing paper on paper on screen. Be aware of the ink you use and how thick your paper is or you might end up leaving marks on the draft below.

(Below) The pattern on her brow is off in two places.

Step 4b: Finish inking the outline

As before focus on borders and major textures; about now you’ll notice which parts of your draft are to fine to trace well and which ones need some extra weight. Drop any lines you don’t like.

By now you probably have a couple of pages with sketches and bad inkings lying around - make sure you label them or find some other method to remove them from your line of work (like throwing them in the bin).

(Below) About 45 minutes, 5 of which were spent on the feather, 5 on the flowers, 10 on the fan, 10 on the face, and 15 on the torso including arms.

At this point you could scan and stick it into a colouring book.

Step 5: Textures!

This is the best part. Texturing a drawing is so satisfying it makes up for all the hardship up to this point.

Make a couple of copies this time to practice your texturing. Afterwards, feel free to continue the page you traced or run it through the photocopier once again.

(Below) Two versions with different types of shading.

It’s very easy to get carried away when shading; always go for a little less than you think you need. You can always add more later, but you can’t take it away. 

Fur

Use lines that flow parallel to the outlines you’ve already drawn. Make the strands flow apart at the beginning and back together at the end. Try to keep the numbers of strands that begin and end constant. This will result in a larger spacing and thus a lighter centre of your bushel.

I like shading an entire area, in this case the entire head uniformly but very lightly, then I start thinking about accents and where light could come from. Wherever fur bundles together (usually at the end of a bushel) I add some more of the same texture to make it darker. You can lift some of the shading from your reference pictures and just copy it. But don’t limit yourself to what your references provide.

To be honest, I only roughly take notice of where I place my imaginary source of light and just emphasize parts of a bushel that were darker to begin with. Usually turns out okay.

Fabric

Generally, keep your texturing parallel, perpendicular or at a fixed angle to the next leading edge. The lines don’t have to be - and most of the time shouldn’t be - straight. Allow them to trace out wrinkles in your fabric or reinforce the fabric’s rigidity by copying the leading edge at short intervals.

The same formula of repeat the leading edge applies to other parts of the clothing - just vary the line separation and how strictly you follow the leading edges.

In other places lines placed at constant angles make a good texture.

Know your tools: my pens stop drawing at an angle of about 30-45° and drawing lines at this angle will make them lighter and discontinuous. This is a good approach to lightly shading a large area like most of the corset.

Cross-hatching gives the sleeve a wrinkle and two light-spots. Two layers at roughly 70-90° gives a good hatch, only add a third layer if you need it really dark - careful: this will make any contours established with two layers disappear.

Shadows

Some places just ought to be darker though, like the spot I marked behind the ear or below the chin. This gives your drawing some depth. Just reiterate the same local texture over and over again until it’s dark enough.

Without my annoying comments, the final result will look like this:

Is it perfect? Fuck no. Is it pretty good? Aye, meets my standards.

By the way, this is what we started with:

Tips for shaky hands

Sugar, caffeine, medical condition? Hands come in all degrees of shaky but don’t let that discourage you. Here’s how I approach the most important elements in my art.

Long lines

Long lines are hard to draw, if you don’t have practice sliding your hand across the page. I can do it sometimes but not reliably. Instead I place my wrist firmly on the page and draw the part of the line that is within my mobile range. The more of my wrist rests on the page, the less I shake. Then I lift my pen and move on to the next bit - sounds trivial?

Wrong.

Whenever you start or end a line you go from rest to drawing speed or vice versa. During these moments the constant flow of ink is spread over a shorter distance, resulting in a thicker line. Appending a new segment causes a brief overlap and results in a blotch, especially when you need longer than an instant to correctly put down your pen.

Coming in at an angle prevents the ink from flowing prematurely and gives you more control of your line.

Curved lines

Place your wrist on the inside of the curve (segment) - drawing towards yourself is easier than away. Rotate the page to make it happen or rotate yourself if the page is stationary (like a large canvas). Additionally, I like to keep my fingers stiff and only rotate around my wrist.

Textures

For very fine textures I keep the tip of my pen above the page and start repeating the pattern. About two thirds of the strokes will go into thin air but the shaking will make one third hit the page - a statistical approach to texturing.

Conclusion

My longest post so far - I starting making this almost 8 hours ago. A blank page is a scary thing, so many possibilities, so many ways to screw up. The most important advice to take from this post is plan, save, trace, repeat. You don’t have to be ashamed for tracing art; just don’t parade an exact copy as your own work and always keep your references at hand.

Why does this feel like academic writing 101...

I invite anyone to contribute their own quick and dirty drawing tips for amateurs to this post. DM me, if you have any questions or would like to use this a last-minute-Christmas gift - I’ll send you a free high-res. I don’t judge, not this year nor any other.

Best, Ocelittle

[clarencenicholsonata]

6 Super Easy Ways to Use Reddit for Lead Generation

Reddit is one of the most intimidating social platforms in today’s digitalized world.

With its pages looking similar to the traditional messaging board, it consists of a large number of controversial communities and Redditors (or Reddit users).

Regardless of the harsh reputation, this American social media is considered the front page of the internet.

With 430 million active users each month, it offers a great business opportunity, if you never knew! Reddit is a fantastic source of lead generation. If its total monthly users don’t blow your mind, check the below numbers.

Reddit is one of the top 3 sites in the United States and top 7 globally.

It has more than 46.7 million daily searches.

Users submit ten million-plus posts every month.

It gets 2.8 million comments and 58 million votes daily.

The above statistics indicate the importance of Reddit for marketers. However, too many of them overlook this platform because of several reasons.

For instance, those who aren’t familiar with how it works may find this site disjointed with loads of content scattered everywhere. It is made more confusing with upvotes and downvotes, alongside random pictures and ramblings.

Nonetheless, underneath the facade, Reddit is a highly engaging platform powered by a smart bunch of community. Sure, learning and succeeding in this site may require a little effort. But those who learn to be a part of this community can reap the following benefits:

Drive massive traffic and quality leads to the website

Reach out to the audience with the right content

Test new products and gain real-time reviews

Sell products online to the interested troop

Consistent branding across various channels

So, start using Reddit for real. Join some productive discussions on this site and create authority over your brand. While bringing your top marketing game, you may make some mistakes along the way.

Fret not! It will help you hone your marketing skills like nothing else.

We have listed some crucial points to help you become a valued contributor on Reddit and generate high-quality leads.

1. Learn the Basics of Reddit

Before beginning with the Reddit lead generation strategy, let us learn how Reddit works and its most active users.

Reddit is a platform where people share things they find interesting on the web. This site showcases popular links and information.

The information shared by the user will be upvoted or downvoted by Redditors. If it gets a lot of upvotes, it will be moved into the hot page and attracts massive traffic.

On the contrary, if you don’t do the things right, your post might pose a risk to your business. You may get banned and lose reputation.

Therefore, it’s incredibly crucial to understand the working of this platform before diving in with the marketing tactics.

Likewise, before considering Reddit as a potential marketing channel, businesses need to understand the Reddit user base who corresponds to the target audience.

A recent study has unveiled some exciting facts about Reddit users:

22% of Reddit users are aged between 18 and 29 years

14% of internet users aged 30 to 49 years use Reddit

71% of Reddit users are men

49.91% of them come from the United States

47% of users identify as liberal with 13% conservative, and 39% moderate

47% of Reddit users are online almost every time

If this is the user group you are targeting for lead generation, read on to find the ways to generate leads using Reddit.

2. Create a Natural Looking Profile

Before building a community or posting on Reddit, you need to have a genuine profile that feels like a real person. As I said earlier, Reddit comprises a clever troop of individuals.

They visit your profile to ensure you are not a spammer! Therefore, it is of utmost importance to create a decent, natural-looking Reddit profile for your business.

To do so, you have to follow a couple of things mentioned below:

Submit to various sites that link to great content

Make insightful comments on other posts

Gain a few hundred karma points

Check the Reddit profile pages of brands like Nintendo to learn how a genuine profile looks like.

Also, go through the Reddit profile pages of other top brands like Audi, Time Magazine, and Washington Post.

3. Find an Appropriate Subreddit to Join

Now you know the basics of Reddit, let us develop a lead generation campaign by identifying the relevant subreddits to join.

A subreddit is a board primarily dedicated to a specific topic or information. Each subreddit begins with reddit.com/r, such as:

reddit.com/r/DataIsBeautiful dedicated to data visualization

reddit.com/r/Futurology discusses new research and information science

reddit.com/r/LifeHacks consists of shortcuts that make day-to-day life simple

With this approach, you can quickly find engaging users who are easy to convert. While choosing the subreddit, you can either go for the highly specific niche with fewer subscribers or big and general subreddits consisting of hundreds of thousands of followers.

The big subreddit generates a lot of traffic; however, the conversion is trickier here.

Therefore, the best option is to mix it up and find out what works well for your businesses. Whatever subreddit you pick, make sure you follow its posting rules.

4. Create a Multireddit

Multireddit is a custom list of subreddits or subjects you want to gain quick access to. For instance, if you have subscribed to five subreddits on the same topic, you can simply group them and see all the five subs at once.

By creating this multireddit, you can easily track and find the conversations.

Instead of visiting every subreddit while searching any keyword, you can simply go through your multireddit to check every mention of that keyword.

A multireddit is essential for businesses as it helps them structure their activity on Reddit by targeting various keywords and establishing several objectives.

Multireddits can be easily created by clicking the ‘create’ button and entering subreddits of your choice. Once created, it appears as an expandable sidebar on the website.

Users can also view public multireddits and create a copy of it (if they like the topics) on their sidebar.

5. Create Your First Link Submission

Now it’s time to submit a link to your site. Before beginning, decide if you will submit the link directly or link to your site in a post.

You can follow any of these methods on different subreddits. Depending on which one you choose, it is essential to make your submission as visible as possible.

The submission procedure starts with a great title. That is, you have to optimize your title to ensure your post gets seen.

Since each subreddit comes with 25 submissions per page, you need to stand out from the rest of the other posts to generate quality leads. However, it’s difficult if your title isn’t good enough to attract the leads.

Here are a couple of tips to craft a compelling title:

Capitalize your Submission: Capital letters will help your post draw maximum attention; however, not all capitalized titles produce equivalent results.

For instance, if you are posting any product or services guide, capitalize only the essential words. If you are posting a link or starting a discussion, capitalize on the first word and proper nouns.

Make Use of Tags: Tags help the users identify the kind of post they are looking at. They keep Reddit neat by organizing different posts into segments.

But how will it help your business achieve targeted leads? It is pretty simple.

Tags are the words that you can see in boxes like this:

Browse different subreddits to identify the tags people are using. If any of the tags apply to your post, don’t hesitate to use it in your submission title.

This approach helps you draw the attention of interested users who are most likely to buy from you.

6. Utilize the Power of AMA

Use AMA or ‘Ask me anything’ feature of Reddit to naturally mention your business. Redditors love AMAs that consist of exciting information.

No matter how small or giant your business is, your audience will ask questions about you and your products. People always have something to ask.

AMA offers the right opportunity to connect you directly with such an audience and influence them to buy your product. So, don’t ever forget to host an AMA on Reddit.

Top business professionals like Elon Musk and John Malkovich have also participated in AMAs to engage their audience.

Wrapping Up

We know that Reddit is not just a social network where businesses post generic ads and blend some promotional mix.

It is a place where marketers can learn from a community and draft actionable ideas to generate leads and revenue.

Therefore, without delay, take some time to research this site and monitor subreddits to find the relevant business opportunities.

Author Bio Angelina Smith is a marketing consultant with 15 years of experience in the execution of marketing strategies. Currently, she heads the marketing department at eSalesData LLC, a renowned database company based out of Fremont, CA which offers customized and pre-built email marketing solutions to improve b2b sales leads for enterprises.

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[the-l0st-reploid]

“Heyyyyyy. Pass it over here!”

Damian’s earfins perked up, and he turned his head to see Lance waving to him from the beanbag chair he was currently half-buried in. The Navigation unit weaved between the other ten or so beanbags and lowered the tray he’d been carrying, Lance and Fintan grabbing the bottles of ‘hellbrew’ off it. “...And...where again did you say you found all of these?”

“They were on sale. Maddie ‘n’ Benny insisted on it.” Fintan replied, taking a swig from his bottle as something exploded on screen. “RUN PRESIDENT SCHWARZENEGGER! RUN!”

Lance started cracking up as Damian seated himself behind them, watching the screen without focusing. It was a bizarre habit he’d only recently started having, but Ben had been right to suggest it when his brother complained about the movies the LSNs would watch from time to time.

“Mmm, trashy movies and hellbrew, nothing better huh?” Lance sighed as he leaned back, a weirdly human sense of delight sparking in him at the cushy crunching of the beanbag’s filling.

Damian hummed in reply, imitating Lance’s posture as he let the abnormal air of his normal life wash over him.

“Hmm...Now, the filling needs to be piped in-”

Ben was explaining to Helen, the two at the counter with the makings of dinner strewn across it. “-And smothered in sauce!” She said with glee, tapping the marinara covered spoon against the inside of the pot the red sauce was in.

“I hope you’ll be a little more neat making dinner than our son was with his snack, Dearest.” Joseph teased as he mopped off Kelvin’s mash-covered cheeks, rolling his eyes in a humored way as Kelvin tried to ‘buzzbuzz’ the napkin away.

His spouse grinned at him. “Kelbee loves making artwork for his Daddy, especially with food.”

“I appreciate his drawings on paper, not my shirt.” Joseph chuckled, kissing Kelvin’s cheek as their son laughed and snuggled into his father’s arms.

Helen was eagerly waiting for Ben to fill the pasta tubes awaiting in the dish, cannelloni that would be filled with a cheese and spinach mix and coated in sauce, more filled pasta, and finally cheese to be baked in the oven. “Garlic bread! Don’t forget the garlic bread Mama!” She helpfully reminded.

“Ah! Yes, of course~! Can’t have a pasta night without the best part.” Ben giggled at their daughter’s excitement.

Maddie poked her head in, holding several leashes. “I’ll be back in a bit. I think the Pokemon want to go outside for a bit.” Her beautiful Furfrou strode in to brace against her leg and whine at her for attention.

“Be careful, alright? It’s really hot still.” Ben forewarned. “Almost couldn’t garden today, it was so hot.”

Helen nodded in agreement. Only her precious Dawn and Fintan’s Talos hadn’t been affected by the heat, but the rest of the Pokemon including dear little Aiden were sluggish and bothered. The Audino could walk, certainly, but he preferred to let Damian carry him about when they were together. At the moment, the Pokemon sans Fifi were splashing in one of the kiddie pools meant for Kelvin and Helen, Talos the Beldum hovering out of reach of the water as Tesla the Shinx cooled off by sitting on a bag of ice cubes, seeing as he’d electrocute the water if he got in.

“I will be, don’t worry~!” Maddie chirped happily, her sundress swishing as she turned about. “I hope Aiden won’t starting crying again, though. He fusses so much when he’s too far from Damy.”

Ben sighed. “Did you forget how clingy Fifi was when you’ leave the room without? She’d howl until you came back and picked her up.”

“But she’s my baby.” Maddie scooped her puppy Pokemon up, Fifi licking her face happily and wagging her bow-covered tail as Maddie smothered her dark furred face with kisses.

Helen giggled as Ben turned back to dinner, grabbing the bowl that had the filling ready in a piping bag. “And dessert shall be that tasty gelato we made, and yes Saver you have to try it, I made a coffee section just for yo-ARRRRGH!” The bowl clanged on the floor as Ben clutched his head, static flying off his antenna.

“Dearest!” Joseph set Kelvin down in his seat, Helen as alarmed as her father and aunt as she hacked into Ben and found an outside source attempting to get in. She immediately tried to boot it out and cover the corner of the Network her mother had claim of - but found as soon as she turned to the second task, the signal was back!

Helen’s expression in the physical world was unnatural for a child’s face, teeth gritted like a dog ready to snarl. NO ONE hurt her Mama and got away with it. She hopped off the stool she’d been standing on and ran to her parents, Ben’s body limp in Joseph’s arms, and she withdrew a cord from her earcone and connected it to Ben’s, giving her a more direct and much stronger chance at defending him.

“What the he-” Lance’s cuss was cut short as he and Fintan dragged in an unconscious Damian. “They’re both under attack?!”

Maddie set Fifi down and helped to get Damian’s body into a chair, the Furfrou dancing about and whining loudly. “Helen, what’s wrong?!” Joseph asked as he watched his daughter flinch.

“They keep trying to get back in! I throw them out but they keep coming back!”

Ben and Damian were both twitching now, their headfins alight with static. “Oh, Benny, Damy!” Maddie had her hands over her mouth in horror. Helen normally was their best defense against anything trying to get at the Network.

“Sweetheart, pull away.”

Helen’s face contorted with horror as her optics moved to stare at her father’s grim expression. “But-! Mama-!”

“It won’t do either of them any good if you get hurt.” Joseph’s look softened as her own stare trembled. “And it would sadden your mother if you were hurt protecting him.”

Their daughter gazed at him for a moment before reluctantly withdrawing from Ben’s corner as well as Damian’s, noting that the signal latched on and began to stream data. Oh, if only she could just, just SLAP it away! Smack that awful signal away from her mother and uncle!

)-...Testing...Testing...Huh. This is a wider broadcast, why are- WHY THE HELL ARE THERE SO MANY UNITS?!-(

Joseph’s jaw dropped as a feminine voice suddenly broadcasted into the Network, Benedict and Damian coming back online simultaneously with convulsions. /-/Ma’am, whomever you are, language! There are little ones about!/-/

/-/Joey did you really just scold somebody who hacked into your wife about bad words./-/ Fintan’s physical face gave his brother a deadpan stare.

)-At least he’s got his priorities stra- THE HELL?! MY BENEMI’S MARRIED?!-(

Ben jumped. -/-Uhm...Yes?-/-

)-MY BABIES RAN OFF AND GOT MARRIED WITHOUT ME OH I DIDN’T GET TO GIVE MY CREATIONS AWAY PROPERLY-(

Damian’s jaw had dropped a bit. -/-...I’m...not married?-/-

)-I’LL MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A PROPER ONE SWEETIE-(

Joseph sighed. /-/Ma’am, you don’t need to type in all capitals we are reading you clearly./-/

)-Oh no, it’s speech-to-text.-(

On the Network, the data reformed into a visual of a screen, a woman’s face depicted on it.

“...M-MAMA?!” Helen gaped, looking from Ben and Damian’s shocked faces to the woman calmly shoving a huge lock of fluffy blue hair from her face, the rest cascading down from the back of her head from a ponytail.

The woman smirked, her doe brown eyes crinkling with glee. “And you even gave me grandchildren. Oh B-3, you were always my favorite~!”

“HOLD UP WHAT?!” Fintan yelled, flailing his arm.

The woman blinked, then threw back her head and laughed jovially. “Oh, where are my thoughts? Anodi Lemestra, nice to meet you all~!”

“And you are...Ben and Damian's creator?” Joseph asked cautiously; while she didn’t quite seem like a technician capable of creating a reploid...she certainly had some of Ben’s mannerisms.

Anodi pursed her lips. “Well, sort of?” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I designed their physical bodies, systems 'n' all!”

“...I can believe it.” Ben deadpanned.

Damian looked to Lance for some sort of grounding in his confusion. “Is this really happening or am I still unconscious?”

“And your reason for contacting us in this manner?” Joseph asked Anodi as Lance only shrugged with his hands in the air, clearly already tired by the situation.

Anodi covered part of her face with her hand, half hiding a sheepish grin. “Okay so believe me, a call over the phone would've been my ideal way, but well, can't exactly use a payphone when you're not sure if your creations are safe to be contacted.”

"...Safe?” Ben echoed with a raised eyebrow.

The human gave him a concerned frown. “Sweetie, the project was /shut down/. The fact that Marcus managed to convince me and a couple others to help smuggle you out and reprogram you as civilian units was a miracle.”

“Marcus???” Ben bleated.

Anodi facepalmed. “Christ how much did he friggen’ wipe?! He was only supposed to wipe the failed programming, not the memory files!”

As she agonized abut how ‘those guys were so useless!’ Joseph isolated his Corner while directing his brothers to do the same. /-/...We need more data./-/

 /-/What program was shut down? We need to do some research into it./-/ Lance raised immediately.

Fintan’s contribution was flat. /-/Eh, bring them both in./-/

/-/WHAT?!/-/ Both Joseph and Lance gaped at their brother like he was crazy.

Fintan put up his hands to calm them. /-/Hear me out!  If we keep them in a wireless blackhole, with no communications to the outside, we can isolate them and go over whatever information they have./-/

/-/...We have an isolate computer system that they can use as well.../-/ Joseph conceded.

Lance made a punching motion. /-/And we can handle the physical aspects of security with our drones./-/

Anodi had noticed Maddie and was grinning at her. “So they got smart and made a nurse model eh? About bloody time! You’re a pretty design too~ So who gets to boast about you, hm? What’re your areas of expertise?”

“Oh I wasn’t made like my brothers, I was made by magic!” Maddie responded chipperly, clearly won over by the praise.

Anodi gave her a bemused smile. “C’mon, for real, you can let me know. I was against that dumb order they gave, I always had a fondness for the Lifesaver series y’know. And you’re fam, if you’re the one my B3′s married to.”

“SAVER IS MY HUSBAND, MADDIE IS MY SISTER!” Ben yelped, pointing at Joseph.

The human chortled. “So lively~! Alright alright, well.” Anodi blinked. “...THAT MEANS I HAVE OTHER KIDS TO SPOIL TOO!” As she resumed gushing, Damian staggered a little, ‘sitting down’ with a weary look.

"Before this spirals completely out of control, proper introductions are in order.” Joseph said when he saw the Benemi’s energy level. Damian was definitely an introvert compared to his brother, something that gave Joseph a sympathetic connection to the other Navigator.

Ben called for their son. “Kelbee! C'mere~!” The youngest Caduceus popped into view, having been hid behind his sister’s Corner, and ‘ran’ over to them to latch onto his sister.

Anodi was holding her own face with a dropped jaw, eyes sparkling as Joseph picked up the children. “This is our son, Kelvin.  You've met our little girl, Helen.”

“The one who kept launching me out? She's a good hacker~” Anodi praised with a grin that reminded Helen exactly of Ben’s roguish smile, her eyes getting wide with the epiphany.

Ben rubbed the back of his head as Joseph placed Kelvin in his arm. “Well, uh, she kinda gets triggered when I get hacked.” The Navigation unit uttered uneasily as he avoided Anodi’s horrified gaze.

“...When you 'GET hacked'?! Are you saying you've been hacked before?!”

Ben ducked his head, face beet colored as he continued avoiding looking at anyone in embarrassment. “Uhm...acoupletimesyeah.” He bleated out as she facepalmed.

“Sweetie this is why you use protection.”

Ben proceeded to choke in horror. “MOTHER!” He yelled in a scandalized voice, Lance and Fintan sniggering.

“Ah-! Did you notice that Kelvin and Helen are both bioroids?” Joseph brought up, rescuing his wife in distress much to Ben’s relief.

Anodi grinned again. “I was just about to bring it up! Who designed them?”

"ER...” Joseph floundered for a moment. “Well, Helen's body was crafted myself with assistance from my brothers...”

Anodi’s eyes went wide with surprise. “You? You did that work?! How'd you get that level of skill?!” She asked, doing the same bouncing motion with her shoulders that Ben did when he was excited, and just wasn’t that so odd, to look at his wife’s human creator and see so much in common?

"I've been doing a /lot/ of research.” Joseph replied with a chuckle, put more at ease now.

She nodded with a serious frown, and her lips twisted at the left corner, Ben smiling a bit as he knew he’d made that face a lot. “I'll bring my files over. We MUST share.”

“Creator Lemestra, if I may ask-” Damian began to speak, halting as she chimed in ’Just 'Anodi' or 'Mum's fin, sweetling’, to which he gained a disturbed look that clearly depicted his feelings about that. “...Miss Anodi, where is this other creator you mentioned?”

The human woman shrugged. “Marcus? Eh, who knows?” She made a vague gesture with her hand.

"That's a /pretty important/ detail.” Lance stated flatly.

She sighed. “No, really. Who knows? I don't.” Anodi switched her posture to lean on her elbow. "After we managed to get the boys fixed up for civilian life, we all went our separate ways and lost contact in case the idiots in power looked into our neck of the woods too deeply." She waved her hand towards Ben and Damian, who was starting to recover with Maddie standing next to him and helping him with some positive pulses. “I returned to one of our testing sites to make sure the data was all gone when I found B3 and B2's signals online.”

“Hmm, well, if you found this data, then maybe he'll get curious as well.” Fintan brought up.

Anodi hummed in thought. “It's possible, but I was shocked to see their signals since B1's went offline a long time ago.” Ben suddenly gulped audibly, wearing an uneasy and upset look that made Damian frown and move to be by his brother’s side.

“...Dearest?” Joseph ventured as he placed his hand on Ben’s shoulder. He knew that look. That look meant bad things were going on in his wife’s head.

Ben’s look of unease only deepened as he lowered his gaze to his feet. “...I thought that Damian was offline too...but he wasn't after all.” He leaned into Joseph’s hand for comfort.

“Huh?” Anodi blinked.

Ben was quiet a moment, before his voice came out as softly as Damian tended to speak. “I was aware of B1 going offline.” Anodi blanched, wearing an expression that perfectly conveyed the utterance ‘ohshit’. “Damian's signal had faded off my radar, so I thought he was gone too.” The B3 unit added, Damian going to hug his brother to reassure Ben.

"Please come here with your information. We need to discuss this, and this should be discussed in person.” Joseph nodded to Anodi.

The human ruffled her hair with a sigh. “I'll be able to get there in a week or so. Gotta destroy this place after I've got all the data and I'm still rusty at making a decent bomb.”

“You're blowing it up?!” Ben gawked, no longer troubled by his mental worries since now he could be troubled by his apparently mental mother.

Anodi grinned. “Well I've set it up to delete everything after the download but it's better to be safe than sorry~!” She flashed a V-sign at them as if they were discussing a picnic.

“We also need to discuss some ground rules for our home.” Joseph deadpanned with an incredibly dry tone.

Anodi bit her lips and inflated her cheeks, pouting the same manner Ben did which was insanely odd for them to see. “Hey! I don't go blowing up EVERY supercomputer containing highly classified documents on illegal projects!”

“...The idea that she's our creator is starting to sink in and I want to reject it.” Damian finally spoke.

[bubble-tea-rex]

You just gotta fill it with things you like! My room is filled with art supplies, teacups, pillows and stuffies, and plants. I have a dedicated goblin shelf too, where I put bits and bobs that I've found and really like

Something for the walls I did when I was younger was put scrapbook paper up so I could draw on it when I felt like it, or because it was just pretty. I also had a couple dictionary pages up with words I liked circled in fun colors. I would stick up all sorts of things too, like little butterflies I made, or fake flowers, or I'd hang string between two thumbtacks and dry flowers like that. I usually left them up until I rearranged my room though, because I think they look neat.

Right now, I have some long black tulle hanging from my celing around my bed, so it kinda looks like those curtained beds, just without the proper curtains.

It's pretty easy to make your room feel more cozy. Like I said, just gotta put things that you like in there! If you're going for cozy, my brain goes to warm colors, fuzzy blankets, lots of stuffies, and tons of stuff on the walls. If you can't paint your walls, scrapbook paper works GREAT for this! You can put up patterns and colors that you like, and you could do a neat pattern with the paper too!

Something else I did/do is go thrift shopping for scarves. The normal sized ones, the reeeeeally long ones, the square ones, anything you can get, as long as you like it! I put them up on my walls and ceiling. Walls to cover more space so it feels like an art piece of some kind, and ceiling to act like a fancy bed accent and to visually cut it off from the rest of the room. This stuff also works with blankets, but they need to be lightweight, or you'll have to nail them to the wall/ceiling.

Something else to help the cozy vibe is storage, to keep things out of sight, but still in your room. I have a chest where I put most of my art stuff and fabric (I also sew). I was going to put this chest by the foot of my bed, but I didn't like it there. So I moved it to the open part of my room, and now it's a table too! You just have to see what works for your space.

I hope this helps you out @liquidstar!

How does everyone else I know have cute or cozy rooms. Mines so bland...

[windycityparrot]

Bird Food Confusion - Seeds, Pellets, Organic - What's Best?

Today's science lesson: because birds are small and have a high need for energy they can digest food rapidly. This is one reason young birds mature quickly and migrating birds are able to store fat which enables long flights. There are species of birds that are known to increase their weight 40% in 10 days.   Birds may break up their food or crush it with their bill, they don't chew it. Parrots, birds of prey, and finches have short, thick, fleshy tongues which allow them to manipulate their food. Where humans swallow with our soft palates, birds have to tilt their heads back to get the food from inside their mouth (buccal cavity) to the first part of their throat (Oesophagus). The oesophagus continues to draw the bird's food down into it's body - where it stands at the Crop. Parrots use their crop to store food eaten in a hurry so they don't get caught by predators. From the crop food goes into the stomach where it finally begins to get digested. The stomach has two sections one of which produces the necessary digestive juices and enzymes which soak the food which is then passed to the gizzard. The gizzard has a lot of muscles that grind up the food - what we do with our teeth.    Digested food now moves to the first part of the small intestine which is divided into two parts and where most of the digestion and absorption of the food now occurs in the parrot's gut. A bird's pancreas is actually better developed than a mammal's pancreas. This is probably to compensate for a lack of some saliva and chewing. It produces proteins, digesting enzymes, carbohydrates and fat which are delivered into the small intestine.  

  The food then moves into the large intestine which is really small compared to mammals and doesn't really have a lot to do with digestion and birds. The food journey ends at the cloaca (which also serves as a reproductive organ) where waste materials are collected and expelled.   Soft billed birds like Finches and Canaries swallow their seeds whole. Parrots are able to remove the hulls from the seeds with their beaks. Now that we know about the gizzard, we should note that the soft billed birds could use a little help grinding down these whole seeds. This is why we introduce small amounts of grit they can swallow which will help grind up the seeds while in the gizzard. That said a seed diet is okay, just be mindful that you need to supplement with some vitamins, minerals and amino acids. You can do this by supplementing with fresh fruits (no citrus) and vegetables. Halved walnuts for larger birds. Cracked walnuts and slivered almonds for smaller birds are good source of omega-3 fatty acids. You can also simply add a commercial supplement like Prime. Adding a powdered supplement to your bird's food can be a challenge so here's a couple of tips   And then there are all the brands. Why do we carry so many brands? We offer everything we can based upon what you, our customer asks for. Which brand is better, that's up to you and your bird(s). To further complicate the issue, there are brands within brands Hagen offers Living World seed blends, Tropimix is an enrichment blend of hulled seeds fruits and nuts and other nutritious items, and Tropican their pellet blend. Higgins offers seven lines of food including Mayan Harvest, a natural gourmet blend of seeds fruits and legumes and exotic spices, Higgins Vita Seed, an economy seed mixture and Worldly Cuisines cooked bird food.   Volkman is a very popular and very clean bird seed coming in a variety of species specific blends. They even offer an Eclectus food (which can be eaten by other species) which is not vitamin fortified in accordance with the most recent avian nutritional research. Volkman has no chemical preservatives or artificial flavors if you're looking to steer clear of them. Dr. Harvey's bird food is an all-natural blend containing only human grade ingredients too, you may want some of it yourself.   Birds in the wild are scavengers, they have to be in order to survive. Mark Hagen says it well "Wild animals and birds are shown by their parents the right combination of sometimes very limited types of foods to meet their requirements for flight, growth, reproduction and living! These wild food items have been selected through thousands of years of evolution. In captivity they are under different conditions and eating different foods and we expect them to select the best combination immediately.   But it is not necessarily better to feed what birds eat in the wild to those in captivity. Many plants in the wild contain secondary plant compounds or are very low in many essential nutrients. Some Breeders have a romantic notion that captive diets which are complicated, labor intensive, using expensive ingredients are the most nutritious. Yet it is possible to feed easy to prepare, cost efficient diets which do not compromise proper levels of essential nutrients".   This is one of the reasons that pellets were developed. Pellets combined all the "good stuff " into one relatively neat package. We know parrots can be picky so a dish of food where everything looks the same offers less visual temptation to remove the contents. Zupreem makes pellets with colors and without. If your bird likes colorful food Zupreem Fruit Blend or Pretty Bird Daily Select offer colorful pellets that many birds find attractive.   LaFeber's Nutriberries although considered just a bird treat offer a comprehensive nutritionally balanced diet for your bird consisting lots of human grade ingredients like pineapple, papaya, carrots and raisins all rolled up in neat balls. The ball design provides your bird with a variety of beak and tongue sensations while enabling foraging activities.   Harrison's and TOPS offer organic bird food pellets. Goldenfeast bird food has no dyes or preservatives. There can be benefits to these organic bird foods but just like in the grocery stores you'll find the cost of organic bird foods higher.   Scenic bird food although not as well-known as the others has been around for more than 25 years and is popular in zoos and animal themed parks as a daily diet. Their pellets are unique in that when wet they still hold their shape and can be held for ease of manipulation, and low waste. Roudybush offers pellets in several sizes and uses different fruits like dried peaches, apricots, plums, bell peppers and carrots in their California Blend as an example.   I do hope we made some headway in clarifying the options you have to feed your bird. Feel free to contact us with specific nutrition questions. Squawk at you next week Thank you for being a subscriber written by Mitch Rezman CMO Windy City Parrot, Inc Simply Everything for Exotic Birds - Since 1993   Click to Post