#just – i don't know. i think the format is dead. and that kind of causes me pain.

[sciderman]

Whew! I absolutely support you doing whatever is best for yourself and your art, but I was definitely gonna have some BIG feels about the blog going away. Now I’ll just continue to have big feels about the blog.

#I wasn’t gonna cry #you were gonna cry #it’s shark week for me so that’s not helping me control the feels #but still

haha... i mean, i kind of... i kind of have a soft-ending planned for the blog, actually. i'm going to end it, yeah. the story will probably continue in other formats. just – i kind of have to admit that the ask-blog format is kind of... extinct. i think i'll probably still make comics and write fic – but at some point, that ask-spiderpool inbox is going to close, yeah. so, uh. get your asks in, while you can, i guess.

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman Groupchat (Final Timeline)

Warnings: suggestive, dark humour, mentions of abuse (kazutora's dad) in a serious and non serious way

Desc: so uh, it's not exactly like this (the request), but this is the basic format of events. the founders know kind of but Smiley and Angry don't. 🍎anon, forgive me if you hate it 😓🙏

Side Note: all the dark topics i'm making fun of (homophobia, abuse etc) are things i've personally gone through! i'm not just an asshole who jokes about bad things✋️😪!

Angry: i'm beginning to think there is something wrong with our friend

Draken: be more specific

Baji: that's literally all of us

Baji: ESPECIALLY Mikey

Mikey: ?

Mikey: you can't prove that

Baji: there's a deep sadness in your eyes

Baji: *madness

Mitsuya: tbh, both work

Mitsuya: sorry

Mikey: what do you mean

Mikey: i'm perfectly fine

Mikey: everyone in my life is alive and no one is dead

Mikey: i haven't committed any unforgivable sins

Mikey: see? i'm fine

Mitsuya: what are you ever talking about dude

Baji: see? he's crazy

Baji: i'd say something's wrong with Takemitchy but he's just ugly. does that count

Takemitchy: my wife would think otherwise😒

Baji: idgaf

Mikey: i also think otherwise just btw

Draken: bro let it go

Mikey: let what go😁

Mikey: it should've been me walking down the isle fr but like, i don't mind

Takemitchy: Mikey-kun i can't tell if this is a joke 😂

Chifuyu: Mikey you're making him uncomfortable😒

Mikey: Chifuyu, did you know that in another universe, i shot you in the head?

Chifuyu: yeah i bet, fucking psycho

Takemitchy: Mikey-kun😐

Anrgy: i mean Kazutora

Angry: there's something wrong with Kazutora

Draken: can't argue with that

Mitsuya: yep

Mikey: oh yeah definitely, but we all knew this?

Chifuyu: he should be admitted to a psych ward, in my personal opinion

Smiley: he has a few screws loose, but that's what makes him funny

Smiley: he threatened to kill me the other day and i genuinely didn't know if he was joking or not. i love that guy😁

Takemitchy: i'm sure he was joking. we all joke like that🤣

Chifuyu: he probably wasn't and we all know it

Draken: why did he threaten to kill you

Draken: did you do that thing where you intentionaly trigger people to get a reaction out of them

Draken: cause then i can vouch for Kazutora and say that Smiley would deserve it

Smiley: i only do that with you, Draken. it's really easy

Smiley: you're hot when you're mad

Smiley: i love seeing that vein pop out of that big ass head of yours

Smiley: makes me wonder what else is veiny

Angry: ew😠👎

Mikey: do you mean his penis?

Mikey: cause yeah it has like one vein

Baji: how do you even know that

Mikey: Emma has pictures

Draken: i'm gonna hurt you, Smiley

Smiley: see?

Smiley: easy

Angry: can you please stay on topic😐

Smiley: fine

Smiley: he tried to kill me cause i beat him at UNO

Smiley: insisted i cheated🙄

Mikey: did you?

Smiley: yeah

Angry: you find new ways to disappoint me big bro😡

Smiley: it's just a game lil bro 😁

Draken: one day, i'll do something i can't take back

Smiley: what, you'll fuck me?

Draken: enough

Angry: before you hurt Smiley, can we please talk about Tora

Angry: since you guys are super close

Angry: i really am worried

Chifuyu: he's fine

Angry: how do you know

Chifuyu: i'm with him like 24/7?

Chifuyu: okay maybe he's not fine fine, but Baji-san and i are dealing with it

Baji: he's going to therapy, so it's not like he's not getting help

Takemitchy: but what's wrong with him?

Takemitchy: oh, nevermind, i remember

Baji: how would *you* know🧐?

Takemitchy: uh

Takemitchy: i don't

Takemitchy: i just didn't want to look stupid!! yeah, that's it haha😅

Mikey: dude, you're gonna blow our cover

Mikey: when you could be blowing me instead 🤣🤣😭💔😂🍆💦

Mikey: anyway

Takemitchy: i don't know what to say anymore 😄

Angry: GUYS

Angry: PLEASE

Draken: see, idk if we should be disclosing why Kazutora's the way he is

Draken: isn't it like, super personal?

Baji: his dad used to beat him, real bad

Baji: his mom too. they'd fight all the time and they'd make him pick sides and shit

Angry: his mom also used to beat him🙁?

Baji: no, his dad would beat Tora and his mom

Baji: i set his dad's car on fire once 🔥

Draken: ...😐

Baji: what? it's not like he keeps it private. if you ask him, he'll tell you

Draken: yeah, we should have asked *him*

Baji: you don't get him like i do fr

Chifuyu: wait 😌🤚

Chifuyu: they don't love you like i love you 🫵

Baji: ?

Baji: i love you too?

Chifuyu: it's... it's a trend

Chifuyu: yk, on tiktok

Chifuyu: nevermind

Mikey: you look so fucking stupid🫵😭

Draken: why do i ever bother

Draken: i'm gonna leave this group for good

Mikey: you've been saying that for the past 10 years 🥱

Angry: oh😕

Angry: is there any way we can help him?

Smiley: man i feel like we should have known this

Smiley: that's why he gets so mad at "yo mama" jokes

Smiley: i feel bad now 😬

Baji: just don't talk about dad's or mom's or families at all

Baji: he's not gonna do anything, but i'm sure it hurts him inside

Mikey: we should find his dad and kill him

Mikey: amiryt guys

Draken: why are you so casual about murder

Draken: but i agree, this once

Mitsuya: you literally always agree

Kazutora: who are we killing

Kazutora:

Draken: why does it look like that

Kazutora: hang on, let me catch up

Draken: don't do that. we weren't talking about anything

Baji: we were talking about your abusive parents

Draken: 😐

Kazutora: ...

Kazutora: i thought i was hiding it well

Smiley: hiding what?

Kazutora: mental illness

Smiley: oh

Smiley: you weren't

Mikey: dude

Angry: there's something wrong with all of us! so it's okay

Smiley: yeah but it's more obvious with Kazutora

Draken: are you good tho?

Kazutora: yeah i'm fine. my dad came to the pet shop the other day and i guess i've been freaked out

Kazutora: but i killed him👍

Angry: 😧

Takemitchy: SHIT

Mikey: oh god, please tell me you're joking

Baji: dude😐

Kazutora: i'm joking lol

Kazutora: i just hit him several times in the head with a crowbar

Draken: ...

Draken: so you, killed him?

Kazutora: he's in the hospital. he's fine

Kazutora: well, he's in a coma, but he's alive

Smiley: dude, you're gonna go to jail?????

Kazutora: nahhh

Baji: fym "nahhh" ???

Kazutora: no evidence

Kazutora: i followed him home and he didn't see me

Takemitchy: what about camera's??

Kazutora: i have an alibi

Draken: holy shit you're gonna go to jail man

Draken: ok we need to have a meeting or something. plan of action

Mitsuya: Kazutora why would you do that man

Mikey: Kazutora

Mikey: do you know the amount of work you just undid😟

Mikey: why do you like bashing people's skulls so much holy shit 😓

Angry: what do we do

Kazutora: guys it'll be fine

Kazutora: my dad has so many ops. he's the worst guy ever. people hate him

Kazutora: and i stole some stuff so they'll just rule it as a mugging

Draken: ...or as an attempted murder😐

Kazutora: you guys are bumming me out😒

Draken: us????

Takemitchy: ok you know what

Takemitchy: let's all meet at my place

Takemitchy: we'll eat and drink and uh, discuss the situation at hand

Takemitchy: in a normal, non bumming out way

Mikey: we're cooked

Baji: i'll take the fall, if necessary

Mikey: holy shit i'm going to kill myself

Draken: THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU

Mikey: YES IT IS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

Takemitchy: we're cooked

[nomsfaultau]

(Potentially) Daily ask №3

Technoblade and the Blood god edition!

I saw you mention an incident in which somebody got a -1 hand while playing a game of rock, paper scissors with him. How the heck did that happen? How do you piss a guy of in the game of rock, paper, scissors so badly that your arm gets disintegrated?

What college degree did he get? And how the heck? I mean college is already hard enough, how did he manage to get in without documents and while being a vessel for the Blood god?

What are the criteria of someone being an orphan? Like, I assume they'd have to have 0 parents. What if they live with their grandparents? What if they don't know that their parents are dead? Does found family work? What if the parents are in a coma? Just out of the picture? If a surrogate parent was involved do they count too? Adoption? Complicated definitions of being an orphan, dude.

So he just.. got spontaneously summoned by Tommy one day.. and was just fine with it?? I mean I assume that was before the foundation. So Techno could just be sitting in class and then go tear some dudes apart and then have to drive back to class? Unless they lived in the same city which would be more convenient.

How does he feel about being Tommy's tool, basically? Sure, everyone including Tommy care about him, but he is a self-defence tool for Tommy, isn't he? Doesn't it sting a little? Considering C! Techno's whole "I am a person" theme and monologue on dsmp, I assume there's something there, isn't there?

Does he have any opinions about being surrounded by 2 completely different gods? The Blood god and Phil. Because sure, Phil cares about him but he's still a god. And I assume he doesn't have the highest opinion on the Blood God (fear/disgust/spite, perhaps?), does that reflect on his opinion of Phil in any way? Phil does also go on bloody rampages, doesn't he? To protect the ones he cares about, sure, but so does the Blood god. Sounds like a great glass (angst) opportunity.

Uh-oh, I might've set complete chaos onto the foundation the last time around. So uh, I do despise it in this universe but also not having amnestics at all would indeed set the world on fire, I think. So, I have an idea. Amnestic brownies. There's just a room full of an infinite amount of amnestic brownies now. And the foundation is thoroughly convinced that they always used amnestic brownies. Oh also amnestic brownies don't work on the main crew. Just because.

Yes, I absolutely agree with the Blade demanding that he gets more cookies because of his size. So uh, a yellow truck just casually rides up to wherever they are camping. The truck is full of all different kinds of cookies. Here ya go. They also won't ever get moldy. Whatever flavour you want, it's there. Magic. Oh also the truck is invisible to everyone else besides the main crew so nope no risk of being discovered.

Boom the foundation mysteriously forgets about the main crew's existence amd all records of them dissapear. So they're not searched for. Under their respective scp numbers are now:

Phil - a chest that works like an infinite bag from dnd. But it only works on people. You throw people there and then you can call out their name and they return. Unchanged and with no memories of what happened there. (Haha get it, collected)

Wilbur - a shadow bunny. It's a bunny. Made out of shadow. Just a normal bunny. Likes carrots.

Tommy - an anime episode where the scenes play in a different order every time. Also there's occasionally a giant "fuck off" watermark on.

Blade - an axe but all blood that comes out of the wound made by that axe is censored, like in a children's game. The textures are randomly changed to one of definitely not blood.

Ranboo - as previously stated, amnestic brownies

Cheesus Crust, this is more me causing complete chaos in the fault world than an ask. I'm sorry? I can go back to a more ask and a shorter format if you prefer that

Get as silly with this as you want! I'm having a swell time with hypotheticals. Though it might be easier to send only a few questions at a time and save the rest for later, since tumblr formating is a pain. Answers below.

The Blade never. loses. It's impossible. The universe contorts itself to ensure this no matter the odds. Mind, this doesn't necessarily mean he wins. So theoretically if someone were to nuke him from the other side of the planet, The Blade would die but also an accident would occur (wire short circuits, random truck, etc) that would kill the person who slapped the nuke button. The Blood God answers anything that hurts or challenges his vessel, often against The Blade's will, so it's less that The Blade was mad enough to tear off someone's limb and more so that The Blood God chose to do so to guarantee victory in a game of chance. Is there a different way The Blood God could have won? Definitely. His strategy is unmatched, and he can almost sense an opponents move before they do it, giving him insane reflexes. However. He likes blood. So no arms for that poor D-class.

English major, folklore and mythology minor. He didn't go in person to college (aside from graduation, which was a very chaotic affair but he'd thought it'd be funny). Used a laptop and never once turned on his zoom camera since he gave a different excuse for it every time. He paid for it via online gambling since he never loses. As for ID, his college friends call him Dave so I presume he committed identity fraud at some point. Likely did something similar speedrunning K12 education since beforehand his main education source was the voices.

An orphan status is something The Blood God can sense via soul bonds, since Bonds are kinda his deal (usually of the enemy/challenger sort but still). Have to be a child. It counts things like adoption/found family, since Collection counts otherwise Wilbur would be deadzo. It relies on a person's attachments to a parental figure, so grandparents/believing their parents are alive/coma would work. In Tubbos' case, Jasmine (a member of the hive) has parents that are living, but she doesn't consider them parents because they shot Tubbo. Ergo, Jasmine is an orphan, and Tubbo is too even if other members are adults who have parents.

The first encounter between Tommy and The Blade is found in the short story What Happened in the Catalyst. The Blade had graduated by that point and was living with Wil and Phil. So luckily he lived on the same continent by that point lmao. The Blade was incredibly confused when first summoned but was being shot at and so dealt with that first, inadvertently rescuing Tommy who survived because of Red stopping The Blood God. After a very hilarious phone call where Philza thinks he's in a hostage negotiation, they sort everything out. The Blade doesn't really fit in a car and Tommy's parents don't own a horse trailer, and so I guess he stayed with the Simonses while Phil and Wil made their way to Nottingham, since they're less conspicuous. The Blade got tacos out of it, and Tommy utterly hero worshiped him, so he was more or less cool once he had a plan to reunite with his friends.

The basis of The Blade being summoned by Tommy has its roots in how Technoblade would show up when called for battle, specifically the Battle of the Lake or whatever it was. Complaining about being woken up and grumbling yet eager to help his friend. Tommy had a pattern of getting in over his head and relying on his friends to get him out, and so I made that his literal power (along side starting wars). In the DSMP it degraded into a feeling that Technoblade was just being used for his might to further Tommy's goals. However, in Fault the summoning isn't controlled by Tommy at all, so it's harder for it to resemble a pattern of being intentionally used by a friend since the guy bleeding out on the floor probably doesn't have much control in the matter. If anything, The Blade feels more like he's The Blood God's tool than Tommy's. Actually, summonings are one of the few times The Blade is slightly more willing to be overtaken by The Blood God since it's violence with a purpose (rescuing his friend) rather than just because The Blood God feels like it.

But he also DOES resent Tommy to some extent. Summoning to him is less being used as a tool and more a chain that the Foundation uses to deny his freedom, dragging him back every time he gets out. Logically he blames the Foundation for attacking his friend, and The Blade's justice tends to the straightforward murder of the people causing the problem...but that doesn't change the fact he'd be free if it weren't for Tommy. On bad days he almost views Tommy as a tool to force him into submission. But again, in the Foundation he mostly encounters Tommy when he's dying, and it feels bad to hate the kid sobbing into his lap and depending on him for salvation. And it's even harder to feel like a hero knowing his escape attempt is the reason Tommy was sacrificed in the first place.

6. The Blade has a very very poor opinion of The Blood God chiefly for the fact his bodily autonomy is violated every time he takes over. He views The Blood God as a parasite trying to invade his mind, body, and control exclusively for the purpose of senseless violence. Frankly...it's a very derogatory and one dimensional view of The Blood God, but The Blade shuts him out completely, and so proper communication there isn't going to happen until a lot of character development.

Philza on the other hand doesn't violate his bodily autonomy or take over his mind. In fact Philza was very instrumental in The Blade getting better control over The Blood God and coping techniques for his intrusive thoughts. He made The Blade feel like he had more control through their careful spars where he brushed against the boundaries where The Blood God would usually take over while still maintaining sovereignty of himself. (Which in the long run only further hurts the relationship between The Blade and Blood God but not like Phil knew that so eh). Philza actually does have a decent relationship with The Blood God, since they often fight side by side. The Blood loathes and loves him in equal measures for protecting The Blade but also making it easier for The Blade to suppress him.

But also The Blade's background taught him that violence is the best solution to most things, which unfortunately Philza probably encouraged. Because Philza uses his wrath in the service of his Collected, The Blade is more at peace using The Blood God to defend him and his friends whereas before he was alone and saw fighting more as interruptions. Probably why The Blade is more amenable to Tommy summonings tbh. Philza encourages him to be violent, but also controlled violence. Which sounds crazy since Phil is out doing massacres, but to him that's very intentional, purposeful violence.

To The Blade, Philza and The Blood God differ wildly in the why department. Philza does it out of love and makes him feel free. The Blood God does it out of love madness and makes him feel trapped. However, there will come a scene where Philza tries to seek his bloody vengeance through The Blood God, only for The Blade to refuse being used as the tool of Philza's wrath. Not that he uses The Blade to the extreme degree The Blood God does, but the comparison is rather apt.

7. Ah this takes me back to the fake pot brownie scene I wrote for Fault years back and lost...alas. Basic premise was a Real Estate walking in on them crashing in a for-sale house and then Tommy trying to convince her the courtesy brownies she brought for clients were laced with weed and she's high as a kite. So I suppose brownies that hide the existence of anomalies has precedent in Fault? Though for the most part amnestics are used on humans and Philza was an emergency case. I'd be slightly more worried about the friends, family, and allies of the crew!

8. I'm personally imagining a dump truck, which is conveniently about the size of vehicle they'd need to drive The Blade around! They're going to get to Chicago in no time with that thing. Philza is having a very hard time convincing his kids that they need a balanced diet that isn't just cookies. Wilbur realizes he doesn't have hobbies now that he doesn't have to worry about food. Tommy WILL try to claim all the cookies by marking them with Red.

9. I'm assuming this is now what the Foundation has? And bravo they're all crazy creative. Let's see how the Foundation reacts I suppose.

Phil Bag of Holding Children: I can honestly picture him being used as a MTF tool, though my Foundation doesn't tend to use anomalies. But the potential of moving an entire flank of soldiers around with ease, completely undetected, is too tempting. One guy gets the drop on an anomaly and then boom throw out their pokeball and the poor anomaly is utterly surrounded now by an MTF squad.

Wilbur Shadow bunny: honestly so adorable. I feel like Morgan (observer from small au with Doctor!Phil) would fantasize about rescuing it. Wouldn't cause they're an utter coward, but they'd be nice and bring extra carrots.

Tommy Disorientating anime: 1 it would have to say m̶̮̯̃ụ̶̤̀̕f̵̯̹̈́̇f̴̗́́į̴̲̃̈n̶͎̈́ off because of Halo. Nobody in Fault can swear. Well except The Blade but he doesn't know that yet. 2, Webb (Philza's handler) would watch in his down time trying to make sense of it because he's desperate to connect with his daughter and teenagers like anime right? He's so lost.

The Blade PG13 axe: Honestly Maureen (guard) deserves this. Classic axe lesbian.

Ranboo Amnestic brownies: I can just picture Dr. Blake (very evil doctor) slipping crumbs into people's food and then taking notes on what happens. She would offer the whole brownies, but I reckon no one would trust that since it's so out of character.

And technically I suppose Tubbo already is a box of pinned bees and assorted limbs in the Foundation.

[backgroundagent3]

hey!! hope you're doing well!!

i know you're reading funny story right now (ahhh) and probably have a long tbr so there's no pressure to read this but i just read the ex vows by jessica joyce and i think you might like it!!!

it reminded me a lot of happy place in that it focused on a found family of friends and how they changed over the years, and it was a second chance romance, and there's a wedding they're prepping for, but it also felt completely like its own new and different thing! i think it's one of the best non-emily henry romances i've ever read and it's the kind of romance that emily henry writes, where it's more emotional and focuses a lot on the character journey.

anyways, since happy place is your favorite emily henry i thought i'd let you know about it!!

Hii! I'm doing good! Thank you so much for the recommendation, I always struggle a lot finding new books to read. I've got a couple of books I'd like to read first, but it sounds so good, I'm so excited!! I just loved the whole vibe of Happy Place, and I love reading about found families, so I'll add it to my tbr.

I'm almost done with Funny Story and on the one hand I can't wait to finish it and tell you about it, but I also never want it to end!

Also I forgot to tell you I finally finished Daisy Jones & The Six!! It's the book that's taken me the longest to read, which is weird cause it's so good! I guess I was really busy but anyways. I loved the format so much, it's so unique, and it also makes it so easy to read! I have a really short attention span, so a book that's basically all dialogue is perfect for me. Some spoilers ahead!

The characters were so funny to me. I went in thinking it was gonna be a found family but then it turns out they all kind of hate each other. They're all so unique and fun to read about. Camila and Karen are so cool, and Warren's the comedic relief, and Pete's just some guy, and Billy's insufferable, and Daisy's also kind of insufferable, but I still loved her. I've seen a lot of people hating on Eddie, and I genuinely don't understand it?? Yes he had a short fuse, but also yes he was justified (at least in my opinion. I hated how Billy kept screwing him over).

I also loved the "where are they now bit", because here I am thinking Pete is dead throughout the whole book, and then it turns out he just had no interest in being part of the interview (which is very cool of him, I too would try to forget about my incredibly dysfunctional found family). The Julia plot twist was so cool, and I couldn't believe Camila was dead all along! I loved her so much. It was so satisfying seeing what their lives look like today, and every ending was very fitting for each character too.

Also loved reading about Karen and Graham, and even though I knew they wouldn't stay together, I was so invested, and I cried my eyes out at their ending. It's so heartbreaking, and you kind of see both POVs, which makes it even sadder.

I think it's just one of these books that leave you staring off into the distance for a while. Just seeing the lives they lead, and knowing that this is how rockstars' lives were actually like feels so special and sad and exciting, and I don't even know where I'm going with this but yeah. 10/10.

Thanks again for the recommendation, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this book! I'll try to finish Funny Story asap (I'm almost done, for real this time). <3

[thatpodcastkid]

Magnus Archives Relisten 5, MAG 5 Thrown Away

Trash apple teeth! Is this anything

Spoilers ahead!

Facts: Statement of Kieran Woodward, regarding items discovered in the refuse of 93 Lancaster Road, Walthamstow. Given February 23rd, 2009.

Statement Notes: There are so many posts out there comparing The Magnus Archives to the Twilight Zone because of Jon's narration and the serial creepy story format, but this episode really stands out in mind as Twilight Zone-esque. Like the Twilight Zone, some Magnus Archive episodes deal with things like childhood guilt and cult-behavior, like MAG 4. But other episodes just kind of say "Damn, isn't that fucked up? Anyway," like this one.

I do love Kieran as a character. He's just so weirdly chill and realistic about everything. There's are some statement givers who are still being tormented by the fears, some who cause fear, some who are reporting on things that happened to people they know, but there's also this interesting category of people who survived because they played the game right. When the audience says "don't go in the basement" or "call the cops," they listen. Woodward gets through this statement unscathed because he moves on from the creepy dolls heads and reports the teeth, then destroys the "gift" left for him and tries to move on. Alan can't let go, Alan doesn't know the rules of the genre, that's why he doesn't make it out.

My two new favorite characters in the series are "Matt, who was raised Catholic and never shut up about it," because he is me, and David who "broke the silence by vomiting loudly into a nearby drain," because he is the most realistic horror character of all time.

Entity Alignment: Whenever I think of this episode, I think of it as the "teeth in a bag" episode. I actually 100% forgot about the metal heart. Now, when you think of those things, it kind of sounds like a Flesh episode.

But, let's all remember our favorite bio majors and their special gift to their professor. The Stranger has a history with teeth. The description of the dolls heads is very "uncanny valley," which is the Stranger's real niche. The thing that really sells me though is Jon's last line in the statement, "All two thousand seven hundred and eighty of them were the exact same tooth." The exact same tooth, apparently from the exact same person, repeated over and over again to the point that the examiner can date them because of their differing stages of decay. You know what that sounds like to me? Someone has been practicing.

The metal heart also says Stranger to me. I know it has a little Flesh energy, but it really reminded me of the hospital episode from season 5. The way the character describes feeling like her body was not her own, that parts of her had been replaced, substituted. The metal heart as the only remanent of Alan feels like that same kind of fear. It's not his, it's not him, but it's all he's got.

Speaking of Alan, does his obsession with watching the house to the point he goes without sleep for days, isolates his friends, and is presumed dead remind you of anyone? He must be influenced by the Eye at least a little bit.

But ignoring entity alignment for a second, Jonny does consistently uses obsessive characters really well. There's a lot of horror media where, in real life, it would make more sense for the characters to give up on their investigations of the supernatural or to ignore it in entirely in the first place. The audience is usually (and rightfully) able to suspend reality for the sake of the story in these situations. But what's so interesting about Jonny's writing is that he explicitly states characters like Alan, like Amy Patel, like Jon, can't stop themselves. It's obsession, it's all consuming, they know it's bad for them, but they just can't stop. It really adds to the audience fear because you're not the only one telling them turn back, their mind is screaming it too, but they still won't listen.

Character Notes: The post-statement in this episode is just 90% Martin hate. Absolutely unhinged behavior. What if you worked at a restaurant at the end of receipts your boss just wrote "This waiter is a goddamn loser and I hate him." Wild man Jonathan Sims everybody.

[melishade]

I remember you said we'd see some of the trials Eren would have to endure at the hands of the Primes, but you wouldn't go into much depth on that. So will we see him in an OVA or as part of a series of Tumblr posts? If so, does that mean the last we saw of Eren in the main story was that scene in The Paths?

So personally, I don't have the energy to write a full OVA on Eren's trial. Not to mention, I'm not sure it would gain much traction considering his role in AOP is officially over. He won't appear in the finale other than by name. The trials will just be a series of Tumblr post at this point. If anyone wants to really tackle these ideas and write it in full, go for it. I will not stop you. Just say the idea came from me. That's all.

That being said, I will put the set up for the beginning of Eren's trials.

Eren wakes up and he doesn't know exactly where he is. He's in a foggy space, lying atop of a reflective floor. Someone calls his name, and he tenses at the sight of a white metal being looking down at him with contempt holding the Star Saber, which immediately scares Eren. Eren wants to know who he is, and he introduces himself as Prima: the First Prime.

Eren's fear turns into contempt himself, demanding to know where Primus is. Prima rolls his optics, stating that Eren feared Primus and that the deity not being here was a mercy to him. Eren demands to know where Primus is, but Prima replies that he's busy. Eren starts to get bold, demanding to know where the hell he is and why. Eren would probably say some kind of insult directed at Primus, causing Prima to stab the saber into the reflective floor, causing it to crack and Eren to step back.

Prima reminds Eren of his place and his crimes. How he tried to commit genocide, killed his friends and his people in his selfish desires. Many of the Primes wanted him dead, his soul destroyed forever, or hell, even give it to Unicron. But Primus' compassion is allowing him to stand here right now. Primus intends to grant him reincarnation, but it's the Primes that get to decide how Eren earns the chance to be reborn. So they've all agreed to give him trials.

The fog blows around Eren and Prima, and Eren is suddenly met with the rest of the Primes sitting on high rock formations behind him with all of their weapons intact. Eren is extremely fearful at how they are all looking at him, especially Onyx and Megatronus, who look ready to tear him to pieces.

Prima states Eren that if he wants to achieve reincarnation, then he is going to have to pass all 13 challenges each of the Primes have set up for his trial. Eren is thinking it being 13 trials is a twisted joke on the power of the titans. Eren demands to know what will happen if he refuses. Prima answers him by stating that his souls will not qualify for reincarnation and will be destroyed because of his actions. Eren knows that he has little to no choice in the matter, and the fact that Primus is allowing him a chance at a life of freedom at all is more mercy than he ever deserved. He knew that. And the only way to win and gain his freedom was to fight.

Eren accepts their challenge, and Eren can't help but feel unnerved as a few of the Primes smirk in delight at Eren's decision. Prima tells Eren the basics: if he fails a trial, he will be forced to repeat it over and over again until he makes the right choice and pass to the next trial. Eren will be given a general idea of what the trial is before he starts, but he must find out the answer on his own. Eren nods in understanding, and Prima orders Vector to send him to his first trial: Prima's trial.

Eren takes one more look at the Primes, and notices something. Prima said that each of the Primes would be giving him a trial, but there were only 12 primes. Where was the last Prime? Eren yelps as Vector opens a portal under him and he is dropped into his first trial.

Now the idea going forward is that Eren's trials by each Prime are how they are listed in the Covenant of Primus. So the order of the trials are created by:

Prima Vector Alpha Trion Solus Micronus Alchemist Nexus Onyx Amalgamous Quintus Liege Maximo Megatronus And The Thirteenth Prime

And the trials are supposed to challenge Eren's ideologies, actions, or just straight up torture him in order to get him to pass. The farther he goes, the more challenging it gets. In the beginning, it's supposed to be more generalized. Near the end, it's supposed to get more personal.

For example, Vector's trial, being the Prime of Time, would demand Eren to actually attempt any and all avenues of peace before coming to the decision of the Rumbling. Vector knows full well that the Rumbling is a fixed point in some cases, but it was Eren's lack of an attempt to really try and change those outcomes because he slowly began to desire it himself. So Vector really wants Eren to try and strive for peace, so when he gets to the point of the Rumbling, the decision would weigh heavily on his heart.

Meanwhile, Megatronus' trial, despite being a Prime known for his anger and also dubbed "The Fallen", would want Eren to confront Mikasa. It's a subversion of expectation. But in the Covenant of Primus, Megatronus feels extremely guilty about killing Solus, because he loved her, and thus exiles himself from the planet for his guilt. So Megatronus would force Eren to confront the person who loved him so much but disavowed him. He would force Eren to recognize her wants and needs if Eren claimed to have truly loved her, because it's something that I think Megatronus would feel guilty over not doing with Solus.

The final trial, is the Thirteenth Prime: Optimus Prime. Eren has to confront Optimus, the one who he considered a father, the one who he betrayed, and the one he forced to take his life. The Primes do this not just for Eren, but for Optimus to make peace with himself. Because eons might have passed, but he still feels guilty for ending Eren's life.

This portion of the story would probably be 13 or 14 chapters. One for each Prime, and then a final one to show the results of Eren completing his trials where Primus is waiting for him at the end of the road, wearing Optimus' holoform.

[violetjedisylveon]

Ahsoka Series, But Kaeden Is There, And She's Super Cryptic This Time

Spoilers for Ahsoka Episode 5

Hera, seeing Kaeden chilling in the middle of a weird rock formation chilling on her phone with the space birb Sabine drew on her armor once: What happened? What's going on? Where's Ahsoka? And where's Sabine?!

Kaeden, not even looking up: Jedi Force bullshit stuff happened, it'll all make sense in a bit.

Hera: Do you... Know what happened?

Kaeden: yeah but I'd rather explain it once and I don't know all the details.

Jacen: can I pet the bird?

...

Jacen: I hear someone fighting in the ocean! Maybe Ahsoka's out there!

Kaeden, still chilling: damn, sounds like a pretty intense therapy session.

Jacen: ???

...

*Hera ordering extra searches once Jacen tells her the stuff*

Carlson: what?

Kaeden: Jacen's a little Jedi, his dad was a Jedi too, just go with it.

...

*Ahsoka wakes up and sees Kaeden reading a book with two piles of books next to her*

Ahsoka, sighing: how many books have you read?

Kaeden: Four.

Ahsoka, flopping back down onto her bed: a whole twenty-four hours and I'm still exhausted.

Kaeden, smirking: Guess that's what you get when you avoid therapy or any kind of emotional healing for twenty something years.

Ahsoka: oh shut up

*then they kiss cause they love each other*

...

*Kaeden, explaining the situation*

Kaeden: okay, while Ahsoka was off getting some therapy and emotional healing slammed into her by the Force itself, Baylan manipulated Sabien into giving him the map and they got the coordinates and they took Sabine with them. I think she is coming back with a Jedi girlfriend.

Jacen, very excited: I get a new aunt?!

Kaeden: Yes, I like your attitude about this.

...

*Shin sees Sabine's sketch book open*

Shin: Why are you drawing me so much?

Sabine: 😳

...

*Ahsoka the white happens*

Kaeden: damn, you look good~😏

Ahsoka: not in front of Jacen, Kae😉

...

Carlson to New Republic people, reading from notes Kaeden gave him: so they are going to ride the purgil and find out what the Imperial remnants are up to out there, and Kaeden Larte says "Fuck the whole Senate except for Organa and kinda Mon Mothma but not entirely, get a better hold on your senate, the Empire isn't dead idiots"

NR Fleet: ...

*Ahsoka goes out to talk with the purgil*

Kaeden, to Morai: told you it'd be the whales, you owe me fifty credits

Morai: *annoyed divine birb sounds*

Bonus, Omega(from bad batch) x Miara Larte!:

Miara: I haven't heard from Kaeden in a while, you think she's okay?

Omega, doing some space magic practice: Probably? I can check real quick.

*does space magic*

Omega: Mia honey, your sister's in a purgil.

Miara, sighing: do we gotta get involved?

Omega: maybe? I kinda wanna ride a space whale.

Miara: alright let's go, I was getting a little bored anyway.

*Omega and Miara suit up in Mandalorian armor and call up a space whale with nightsister magic to take them to where the action is*

That's it. I enjoy a good cryptic slightly chaotic Kaeden, being married to Ahsoka comes with that.

Also Nightsister Omega is one of my favorite things so I shoved it in here.

Be back Wednesday for part 4!

[ex-textura]

Your post about your OCs quest names got me thinking...

If they were companions what would be their likes and dislikes, how would a player gain their approval? 💜

Okay I know I've been holding onto this for So Long but I've been Thinking™️ and that's not my forté.

Wall of text incoming because I've been writing this on my phone and. Formatting is a lot of work..

× Auric's approval would be difficult for a chaotic aligned character to get I think. He'd approve of kindness, following the rules, defending the weak. He'd love saving Mirkon and Arabella. He'd disapprove of taking the idol for Mol though. He'd probably also approve of you drinking Jaheira's truth wine. If you could recruit his sister, he'd approve of every kind action toward her, but he'd disapprove of flirting with her. Also letting Astarion bite you. He never could trust him. Also talking to him about music or poetry would get huge approval boosts. He's a big romantic.

× Naught's approval is a bit more all over the place and probably harder to get in general just because they don't really feel very strongly about anything until later in the game. But being kind to animals is a big approval, while doing the opposite is gonna make him hate you. Especially with birds. They'd approve of being outwardly flirtatious and forward with your intentions. They'd definitely approve of licking the damn spider. And throwing dung at the goblin outside the camp. Also, even though they can't read and aren't really inclined to, taking any opportunity to show off your smarts, teach him something new would be like a full +10. They like nerds. If you can be snarky with Nine-Fingers Keen, too, he'd approve of that.

× Ciaran approves of being nice. Helping the helpless. Saving people. All the big heroics. Play music with Alfira. Motivate the tiefling kids. Tell him you trust him.Do Not Do Not do the murder tribunal. Don't let Shadowheart kill Nightsong. Don't let Astarion ascend. Under no circumstances side with the goblins or he'll just leave. Generally everything Astarion dislikes in act 1 will be a Ciaran approval. He'd also approve of petting every single animal in the entire game. All of them. They're so soft please pet the babies.

× Jinx. Likes. Chaos. Steal the idol, why not. Throw some dung around. Play music with Alfira. Tease Mattis with the ring trick. Drink the truth wine and play truth or dare. Let the weird ox do its thing. Send him up on stage at the circus. Mess with Akabi and cheat at the wheel game. Pet the animals. Lick the spider. Get sent to jail. Break out of jail. Let Volo pick your brain. Any opportunity to say something weird or off-putting will probably get an approval, if only cause he'd think it's funny. But also talking about magic, poking at magic, anything that involves appreciating the gift that is magic - for good or ill. Jinx is also kind so not necessarily self-sacrificing acts of kindness but helping people, doing the right thing, general Good Boy approvals. Disapprovals are less common but outright cruelty is generally where he draws the line.

× Amaris approves of knowledge, and follows the tenets of their goddess. Read the book of dead gods, the necromancy of thay (sure it's evil but think of the knowledge contained within!), anything you can get your hands on. Open the chest at the Selûne shrine in the owlbear cave. Protect Isobel. Let Astarion feed on you (vampires may be undead but they are still children of Selûne's light and deserve protection if they seek it, and do no harm. And Astarion is trying okay? Kinda. It's enough.) Ask questions always, exhaust that dialogue tree! Agree to save the tieflings and the gnomes over and over again. And Barcus. Do Not let Shadowheart kill the Nightsong. Do not convince the nurses and Malus to kill themselves, do that with your own hands. Don't try to convince them to use the tadpoles. Don't speak ill of the gods. Except Shar. Speaking against Shar will always net big approvals. And again, the usual "Karlach/Wyll/Gale approves" from helping people apply to them as well. Let them talk about Selûne, and home, and their best friend Morridah. Take them to Sorcerous Sundries. Be a little kinky.

[myauditionfordrphil]

Do you think the BCCI should ask Rohit to retire gracefully (as in not sack/drop him) at the end of this the WTC cycle? in any other situation this kind of a series loss would have called for sacking of the captain and coach.

Is Bumrah ready to captain ICT full term? That includes him staying fit for almost all matches of a series.

And I agree with you statements on Gambhir. Now he's going to realise how hard it is to coach a cricket team. Every time that mf opened his mouth it was to spew nonsense about Dhoni, Kohli, Shastri, etc. Karma is just coming back for that man.

Thank you for the ask!!! Already apologizing because I have a lot to say on this matter and this will get very looonggg, you've been warned.

See I believe that ICT will undergo a transitional phase very soon. The seniors will hang up their boots soon after the finals (if we reach there) or in the midst of the next cycle cz I definitely don't think most of them will play another full cycle. As much I hate to see them go, it's kind of inevitable though about Rohit (and by extension Kohli) retiring, I think it's still too early to make statements like this before BGT because that will be their last chance to step up otherwise I think some harsh calls need to be made. I desperately hope that they get their form back because Jaddu and Ash are doing well tbh, they won't be dropped or asked to retire because of their performance.

And I also agree that Dhoni or Kohli would have been publicly slandered after this kind of loss but Rohit did come forward and took responsibility (atleast after the 3rd test) although the interviewers should've been sterner rather than asking about the positives and feelings (I remember clips of Atherton properly grilling MS in 2011 after 3-0 loss in England). But we also have to keep in mind that a huge series is coming up and we can't afford captaincy changes now considering Rohit is actually a good captain in most situations. Though I do think that a transition should be placed into effect with Bumrah playing a bigger role in leadership and daresay even captaining dead rubber matches. His availability will be an issue taking in point that he's India's main bowler in all formats but his fitness won't cause problems imo if he doesn't play pointless bilaterals.

Lastly on Gambhir, what do I even say? I grudgingly respect him as a player but his constant credit narrative and baseless statements do bother me a lot. I don't know about limited overs but his position as a coach in red ball cricket should be reviewed and, same as the seniors of the team, BGT should be the stage for him to perform. His performance (mind you as a mentor, Chandrakant Pandit was the actual coach who literally built the side) in IPL got him the position but he will have to prove himself.

I may be criticizing them right now but I'll definitely be the happiest if they perform well (yes even GG) and chahe jitna bhi gussa karlu at the end of the day sabse ladkar inhi ko support karungi. So to all the people sending me asks calling players names and all, pls stop. Even if they're going through a bad patch, they're still national players who have done more for India than all of you combined. Learn the difference between criticism and hate.

[stuffedsand]

Wahey milgram oc time my silly guya

013 - Shiratori Masaki

My boy

- 20

- prisoner number 013 (I slapped them into base milgram cuz I don't wanna make a whole new cast)

- to quote my own character notes: cringefail specimen of a man.

-- fun name thing! His first name means "true, hope" hehe

UNDERCOVER

"Under, oh so aware of all that you say

This makes me sick, so please, go away"

Votes (fabricated lmao)

T1 - INNOCENT

T2 - GUILTY

Songs of Prisoners

+T1 – what…what are you talking about?

+T2 – no…you-you’re lying!

Voice trailer (t1)

Oh uh… Shiratori Masaki, that's my name. 20, uni student. Uhh what else … oh, sorry if I forget anything, i, ah, my memory has never been any good

If I'm being honest…I don't know what the hell you're talking about! No one around me has died recently. At least…not as far as I can recall…

*Takai? Takai! Wake up! This isn't funny..!*

Voice trailer (t2)

Hi, Es-kun, how have you been? Ah, Shiratori Masaki. You didn't forget our deal, right?

*Shut up! I don't want to listen to you and your stupid problems anymore!*

Personality

-- a timid yet stubborn man. It is very difficult to change his opinions on things. Polite, but very quick to turn defensive if blame is turned on him.

He can be a prick at times.

Extra notes

-- a man with really bad memory loss. During T1 interro, he makes a deal that he'll take MILGRAM seriously if Es can tell him who his victim is. And he has to believe it

-- not mentioned but his memory loss is a trauma response. Dead bodies are traumatic I don't think that's a contraversial take

-- the indirect murderer of the pair

Full body:

Please note -- his ugly fucking shoes were not an accident he has a horrible fashion sense

014 - Akabane Kazuko

The She

-23

-prisoner number 014

-based off one of my multifandom ocs (and my favourite of the 2)

--fun name thing! Her name means "gentle/kind/harmonious child". 子 is also(apparantly) male specific. I have fun reasons for that

UNDERCOVER

(pardon the artstyle change this was done on my tablet instead of my computer and was. Rushed💀)

Under, I don't care if I'm in the right or wrong

Songs of prisoners

Full of malice, we will waltz to our doom

Votes (edit)

T1 - guilty

T2 - (?)

+t1 – let's get on with it, shall we?

+T2 – ...you're not very good at this.

T1 – voice trailer

Hello. I am Akabane Kazuko. 24. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Warden.

I am interested in how all this will play out. But nothing will really change the impact of our actions. Remember that, Warden

* My final act… will take your breath away! *

T2 – voice trailer

Good day, Warden. Kazuko, you remember, yes? Seems your choices have caused quite the ruckus.

* You…You know what you've done! I'll make you pay for it!*

Personality

-- a calm and gentle woman. A showman at heart, she is elegant and loves performing magic tricks.

-- some are unsettled by her, but she does her best to be kind and friendly to those she speaks to

Extra notes:

-- Magician coded :)

-- because I can fabricate fan theories, es assumed they killed 2 people in trial one. They have only killed one.

-- the direct murderer of the pair

Full body: (outdated a lil, I changed her vibe. Design still stands)

Please note -- bowling alley socks

Interro qns (please give me some interro questions tho I'm very bad at thinking any up)

Also note: interros are formatted as

--

Question

Kazuko

Masaki

--

Cuz I wrote this when I labelled Kazuko as 001 and Masaki as 002. I'm changing it to reflect their new numbers but editing on Tumblr mobile sucks so I'm not changing the order </3

Q)Tell us your family structure

014 — mother, self, brother,

...it's just me now

013 — parents, me and my twin, Shiratori Takai.

Q)Is there people you hate?

014 — hypocrites.

Don't become one, warden

013 — people who always depend on you

Q)Which prisoner is the most similar to you?

014 – yuzuriha kotoko.

013 – hm...

Probably kayano. He looks like he doesn't know why he's here, too

Q)What was your murder weapon?

014 — what a bold question

It was a bottle.

013 — haha, I'll humour you for this one

Hmmmm...... My words, maybe? I've been told i have quite a sharp tongue

Q)What was your family like?

014 — kind, resilient. They were wonderful. I

loved them

013 — they're ok.

Which prisoner do you get along with the least?

014 — mr mukuhara. Nothing against him, he just reminds me of someone.

013 — …Kusunoki. No reason, but I do wish she'd stop trying to talk to me. It's annoying.

Q)How has your experience been within MILGRAM ?

014 — quite good, considering we're all in here for murder.

013 — uh… good? I still don't believe you saying we're all murderers.

Q)Do you have regrets?

014 — yes. I should have done something sooner

013 — no? I did argue with my brother recently, but it was nothing, really. I'll apologize and everything will be fine

Q)Is there a verdict you hope for?

014) all I hope for is your honest judgement. I want to see how you choose to judge

013) Well, since I don't think I've done anything… I'd hope to be forgiven, of course.

Who was your victim to you?

014) nothing.

013) eh? Warden, I don't know. We made a deal remember? You tell me!

What is your father like?

014) i dont consider him my father.

013) uh…he’s my dad. What more do you want me to say, really...

What do you think of the prisoner paired with you?

014) Shiratori? Not much opinion. I do wonder what he's done to be here, though.

013) Ms Kazuko..? Shes intimidating, if I'm being honest. Not scary, just...intimidating

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s4 ep23: Living Witness

This one is kind of weird actually. Like I get that they were trying to experiment with a different format, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense in the end.

It opens with a dark alternate version of Voyager, with Captain Janeway as a black glove wearing villain, and the crew are all violent thugs. Back in the day when this first aired, trying to figure out what was really going on gave it some suspense on the first viewing, but once you know the twist, it's just kind of boring. We eventually learn it's a simulation in a museum on an alien planet 700 years in the future, and they're recounting their version of Voyager's role in their historical war.

Eventually the museum guide finds a way to activate the Doctor's back-up program that had been stolen in an attack on Voyager, and he asks the Doctor for more details about what happened, since he was there. The Doctor is horrified when the museum guide shows him the simulation, and tells him he got everything wrong, which the guy doesn't want to believe. Eventually though, the museum guy comes around and allows the Doctor to create a simulation of what actually happened. He's horrified to learn that his own people started the war, not Voyager, and it causes chaos on his planet as the two races there start riots and ransack the museum. The Doctor wants to deactivate himself because his presence and his knowledge of the truth is wreaking havoc on this society, but the curator convinces him not to, because finding and facing the truth is the only way the two races on his planet can reconcile.

It ends with another simulation within a simulation, as everything we've just seen is revealed to be another historical simulation in the same museum even farther in the future, where a new curator tells a group about the Doctor and the former curator's work, which finally led to harmony in their society. She notes that the Doctor eventually took off in a ship to find his way back to Earth, and that's the end. And I'm left scratching my head to figure out how this possibly works in continuity.

The Doctor absolutely was on Voyager for the rest of the series, so how in heck he could also be on this planet, I have no idea! Is this an alternate universe with no connection to the main canon?? Or are they meaning to say that there are actually two separate versions of the Doctor on Voyager, who somehow magically have the exact same memories and experiences, even though the version in the back up module was never activated before?? Idk, but either possibility is weird! It's just a little too out there for me to go with, and morever, it's not very interesting.

The only actual member of the Voyager crew we get to see in this episode is the Doctor. While I thought he had a great moment of grief and loss when he realized the rest of the crew was dead now, it was undercut by having him go right back to taking cheap potshots at them a scene or two later, which kind of makes you question how much he actually even cares about any of them. I really hate how the Voyager writers seem to think it's cute to have him constantly put down people who are supposed to be his friends to make himself feel smarter or better or more important. This is no where near the worst example, but every single time they do it adds up, and leaves a bad taste in my mouth that makes it really hard for me to like the Doctor.

We don't get to see any of the rest of actual Voyager crew even once in the whole episode- it's all simulations, and mostly of the evil versions which are nothing like them. I'm sure it must have been fun for the cast to play evil versions of their characters, but it was dull to watch because we as the audience know it isn't real, so ultimately, who cares? The alien society's problems didn't really move me either because we don't know enough about their culture or their history to understand the situation. Everything about them is painted in pretty broad strokes, including their ultimate reconciliation, which happens off screen. I get what it was going for, the message was obviously supposed to be that reconciliation can only come when a society faces it's past head on, which is great, but I just don't feel like this episode told that story in a meaningful or compelling way.

Tl;dr: A boring episode that largely glosses over the nuances in the point it's trying to make, and leaves you wondering how it even fits into Voyager canon.

[practically-an-x-man]

2, 18, 22, and/or 26 for the injury prompts (no pressure)

Oooh alright, let's see what we're working with...

2. “Someone get the medic. Get the medic!” 18. "Stop. No. Wake up. Wake up! I said wake up!" 22. “Shit. Shit, that’s a lot of blood.” 26. "[name]? [name], this isn't funny. Stop... please..."

(Injury prompts)

I'm actually thinking I want to try something for Eris this time around. We'll see how that goes, this is my first time writing a piece for them.

____ Battle Wounds

Word Count: 1.9k Content Warnings: depictions of war/fighting, graphic injuries ____

They said war was Hell.

If so, Hell was a very fun place to be.

Eris tore through the battlefield like a hurricane, all whirling blades and animalistic snarls. He was a force of nature, a force of terror, violence and discord incarnate. He carved his name in the battle lines, slashed through his enemies with a grin on his face, ripped through their formations like a bullet. He wreaked havoc.

She'd never claimed to be a good person. She hardly counted as a person at all.

"You countin', Flag?" she taunting, startling him by kicking off his shoulder and leaping forward to slice down the next adversary in her path. They didn't know which side they were fighting for - only that it was Rick's side.

"You're kind of terrifying, you know that?" he remarked, ducking back as a bullet whizzed past his ear. Eris grimaced. Guns. She hated guns.

"Yeah, cause you've got such a problem with a little blood." they fired back, plucking a throwing knife from their belt and promptly burying it in the heart of the shooter. "I think that one makes ninety-six. What're you up to?"

"You know I don't count. Those are people's lives."

Eris shrugged.

"You'd be on someone else's count if I didn't kill that guy," he pointed out. He opened his hand, and the bloodstained knife whistled back into his hand. It was out of her fingers in another moment, buried in the skull of another soldier. "Or that one."

"Truly the pinnacle of morality." Rick drawled, though he lifted his semi-automatic back up to his shoulder.

"Right, 'cause you're going for only nonlethal shots." Eris fired right back, twirling their spear in a lazy circle, "They'll all get a purple heart and walk away just fine, because that's how war works. We'll all play soccer at Christmastime and send each other gift baskets."

As he spoke, he darted out with his spear and slashed down another adversary.

"Ninety-eight."

"Metahuman!" someone shouted from across the battlefield. Eris winced.

"And thus signals my exit." he said, dropping into a theatrical bow, "Since your frail human body is a lot less resistant to bullets than mine."

"Frail?" Rick echoed, sounding half-amused even as Eris sprinted to put distance between them. Gunfire followed her, the surrounding fighters all finding a unified target as she bobbed and weaved across the uneven earth. She cut down any soldier who stood in her way, then plucked a semi-automatic from a dead man's hands and turned it against the array of shooters behind her.

The gun kicked against their shoulder as they fired. They were sure they'd find bruises from its relentless jackhammering. They hated guns. It pulled all the grace out of war, made things too unpredictable. Survival and victory became less the mark of a skilled fighter and more just a deep stroke of luck. There was far more blood and far less honor in a death like that.

He spent the cartridge and tossed the gun aside, then kept moving. His spear was back in his hand in a heartbeat, and he almost smiled at the comfort of a more familiar weapon. Eris turned, weapon in hand, and prepared to face his next opponent.

Something struck her shoulder hard enough to make her stagger back. Then came another- two, three, six, barreling into their chest and stomach. Eris stumbled, the spear falling from their hands.

Another bullet whizzed past their ear, missing by an inch. Another caught his thigh, making him drop to a knee. It was the sound of fireworks and rainfall, explosions and impact. Her body felt like a live wire, buzzing with adrenaline and pain. It hurt.

That was new.

Fresh gunfire rained down, and bodies dropped around him. Somehow Eris was still upright - mostly, though his entire body was screaming for mercy.

At least his spear granted mercy. It was a quick death. This, being pumped full of lead from these humans and their machines, would be anything but.

"Eris!" There was Rick's voice, and a clatter as he cast his gun aside. Her mind felt slow, sluggish, hardly processing the sight as he ran up to her. His hands fell to their shoulders, those amber eyes of his passing over their body in a cursory, worried glance. He had such pretty eyes...

"Shit. Shit, that's a lot of blood." he muttered, enough to make Eris glance down.

"Blood? My blood?" they echoed, dazedly, "That's not..."

Rick's rough fingers caught his jaw, keeping him from catching a look at the wounds. Strangely, Eris found himself grateful. It felt... bad. He was in pain, and felt strangely hollow, and cold...

In a heartbeat, Rick had scooped her into his arms and was sprinting across the battlefield. At least she wasn't so cold, being wrapped in his arms like this. It was almost nice. If they weren't in so much pain.

"Someone get the medic!" Flag shouted, his voice oddly hoarse. Normally he was so much more composed out on the battlefield. It was part of why she liked him. "Get the medic!"

"I don't need a.... need a medic," Eris mumbled, shifting a little in his arms, "M'a fuckin'... metahuman.... m'fine."

"You're not fine. You need a doctor." he muttered, "Who's frail now, huh?"

"Lemme go, I'll get back out there."

"Not a chance in hell."

"Rick."

He didn't respond- or if he did, it came out muffled and warped. The world was starting to blur around her now, everything going hazy at the edges. At least the pain had eased some. They couldn't feel their wounds- or anything else. Rick's face above her was hidden in a cloud of fog.

And then she was jarred, dropped onto a table, and the pain was back. Eris groaned, wanting to crawl out of his traitorous skin. Pain like this didn't happen to him. He was so careful, so skilled. He'd been shot before, but this was something new entirely.

Something bit into their skin, teeth and claws ripping into their flesh. They might have screamed.

"....sealed over... healing... have to..." Words drifted through the fog of pain. They caught glimpses here and there - a nurse in fatigues, a gleaming scalpel, scarlet and crimson on every surface. Then the pain was back, a leech burrowing in deep.

Then... gentler fingers, rough and callused, tracing down his face and over his collarbone. That was nicer. Easier. Not so bad. A distraction from the knifelike agony tunneling into him.

And then he could feel himself sinking lower. The pain, the soft touch, faded away around him. The fog deepened, welcoming and blanketing him. She wanted... she wanted to sleep...

Sleep was good. Sleep meant... no more of this. No more bullets. No more guns. No more blood or knives or pain. It was only fun when it was his to dish out. This was horrible. He wanted it to end.

"Eris- stop. No. Wake up-" Rick's voice, through the fog. And then- something sharp and bright across his face, enough to make him groan. "Wake up! I said wake up!"

"Fuckin'... slap me?" she muttered, dazed and squinting through the fog.

"You're not leavin' us just yet," His voice, his drawl, that Southern twang. So different from Eris' own voice, an accent preserved for centuries. Rick's voice was so... gentle, but frightened, a strange combination. His fingers were wrapped around Eris' own, his grip tight but the sensation oddly muddled.

"Hate guns." he mumbled, his body tensing as another wash of agony rippled through him. He'd never felt this cloudy before. He wondered for a moment if he was dying. She thought she might've been. It wasn't as frightening as she imagined. She'd been alive so long already.

"Yeah, I'm startin' to hate 'em too." Rick agreed, squeezing their hand as he spoke, "Hang in there, darlin', we're almost done."

"Done with...?"

"Gettin' the bullets out," he answered, his voice trembling but oddly patient with her, "You started healing around 'em. They've got... three left, I think."

She only made sense of about half the words. Pain stole the rest from her. There was only one real thing in all the world, and that was Rick's hand in hers. Everything else had dissolved into smoke.

"Hang on, hon... almost there."

"Almost gone."

"What?" His voice had spiked with panic, bright and hot like fire, and only then did Eris realize what they'd said. Rick's hand tightened around their own. "Eris, hang on- what do you mean by that? Talk to me."

They opened their mouth to respond, but no sound escaped. The cold had returned, the fog settling deep into their bones. Hundreds of years, dozens of wars, and here they were... pulled from the battlefield for the last time.

At least Rick was here. That made things a little easier. He was the one bright spot, the one flicker of sunlight through the clouds.

"What did you mean by that? Eris?" His voice again, rough with pain and fear, "Eris, this isn't funny."

No, it wasn't funny. But it was nice enough. He couldn't feel the pain anymore, the knives and needles digging into his abdomen. He couldn't hear the sounds of the battlefield, the beeps and groans of the infirmary. Her heart began to stutter and slow, taking the chill and ache with it. The last thing was Rick's voice, all fuzz and warmth, and that was... that was a good way to go out. She was past due.

"Eris, stop... Please..."

That much shook her from the fog. Rick Flag did not plead. He didn't have that... that wavery, crying sound to his voice. Rick was strong, he was sturdy, he was reliable. He was steady, an anchor in the chaos. He didn't get rattled like this.

Were things really so serious?

It made her pause.

Just a little.

Just enough.

"Got a heartbeat!" A woman's voice. They didn't recognize it. "You're lucky they're so regenerative, or they'd have been gone by now."

"There you go, darlin', come on," There was Rick, a little less panicked. His rough fingers stroked their cheek, the touch a blazing fire against her frigid skin. Her other hand was gripped tight in his. They could feel it. Real. Tangible. Alive.

The pain in his chest had dulled to a fuzzy ache, tingling as his skin began to knit itself back together. Eris blinked, watching the world come back into clarity before him. He turned his head and found Rick's worried face, streaked with blood and dirt.

"Told'ja, Flag, m'a fucking metahuman." Eris croaked, smiling through cracked lips, "Don't look so scared."

"I hate you." he muttered- though his grip on her hand never softened.

"You don't. Couldn't if you tried."

"Watch me. You keep pulling stunts like this, and I'll..."

"You'll what, cowboy?" he taunted, that smile widening to a grin. He was feeling a little stronger now - not quite enough to sit up, but at least the fog had lifted from his mind. He caught a few glances at the nurses and found them all wearing the same interesting expression: relief and confusion in equal measure.

"Well, I..." Rick trailed off, shaking his head with a low sigh. He squeezed Eris' hand, clasping it tight between both of his own. "I don't know. But don't do that again."

[moonpetrichors-blog]

Songs That Remind Me Of Attack On Titan

Tags: Headcanons (Formatting), Eremika

Warnings: Season 4 Spoilers

Songs that remind me of Attack On Titan or that I associate with the overall series.

* ˚ ✦ Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [06/11/23] ❞  

This Could Build Us a Home - The Garden

Cell door slams Right into my face

Immediately, these lyrics remind me of when Eren was imprisoned in Season 4.

Actually, there were a lot of times that Eren was behind bars I think 💀 jailbird fr HAHAHAHAH

I've gotta beat time We're running out of time

Now this one is a bit tricky to explain.

While Eren can't physically time travel, I find that these lyrics can relate to how he kind of knows what's going to happen and despite trying to change his fate, or at least trying to make choices to lead to something different, he can't.

(I'm assuming that was how it worked anyway.)

But you can't outrun the preordained. You can only act with the hand you've been dealt.

I also think of the titan shifter's lifespan and how they don't live forever, despite being so powerful.

Promise me That this can build a home

Promise me That we will not get old

Oof...

This part of the song is definitely a little heartbreaking, knowing that Eren dies and he can't grow old with Mikasa.

Despite that, everyone moves on and builds new lives for themselves with the temporary peace they've been given.

Eren is the only one who doesn't grow old - but it's because of this fact that the others could finally settle down and build a proper home for themselves.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈  

My Kind Of Woman - Mac DeMarco

I'm feelin' so tired Really fallin' apart And it just don't make sense to me I really don't know Why you stick right next to me Wherever I go

Relating to the line where Eren talks about his head is all messed up to Armin.

His mental state has kind of reached a point where it's a little fucked up, and he's done fucked up things.

Despite it all, Mikasa sticks by his side because her love and devotion to Eren keeps her loyal to him, even if at times she's a slave to that love.

You're my, my, my, my kind of woman

Is there anything that really needs to be said about this line?

Eren Yeagar, everybody. The man that taught us what not to do when you have a fine ass girl by your side.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈  

I Love You So - The Walters

I just need someone in my life to give it structure To handle all the selfish ways I'd spend my time without her

Eren's life has inevitably become a mess.

Frankly, everyone in the AOT universe lacks structure in their lives. They all have had to constantly adapt to change.

Mikasa is a constant in Eren's life, but he isn't one in hers. The second line can be attributed to when Eren says that truly, he doesn't want Mikasa to forget about him.

That he wants to be on the forefront of her mind for at least another ten years, despite being dead.

It's a selfish desire, despite the fact that he won't be able to spend time with her. And yet, Mikasa is still the one thing Eren can count on to still be there for him, waiting.

After all, she did say see you later, Eren.

I'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind This feeling's old and I know that I've made up my mind I hope you feel what I felt when you shattered my soul 'Cause you were cruel and I'm a fool So, please let me go

Definitely much heavier meaning to this part of the song.

Of course, Eren leaving Mikasa and Armin behind. He's known for a long time what it is that he has to do and nothing can change that.

It's a cruel fate for them, honestly.

Eren makes stupid decisions all the time, but at the root of it all he doesn't want his friends to suffer, even if some of his actions still caused that suffering.

Think of when he told Mikasa that he hated her.

But at the end of those lyrics, you can feel that sense of sadness where he tells Mikasa to forget him and throw the scarf away.

To let him go.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈  

Moon River - Frank Ocean

My heart (you heart) breaker Wherever you're goin' I'm goin' that way (the same, the same)

Jesus a lot of these songs can be Eremika based 😭

Once again, Mikasa being a devoted and loyal to Eren, even if he has left her heartbroken.

I think at the end of the episode when we see that she grew old and passed away, we also see that she's holding the same flowers that were on Eren's gravestone.

I think this may be why she said see you later, because she would reunite with him in the afterlife. The last two lines of this song remind me of that.

Two drifters off to see the world There's such a crazy world to see We're all chasin' after all the same Chasing after our ends

Obviously this song is in the perspective of a couple but I think you can be a bit imaginative and include Armin in part, regarding how he desperately wanted to see the outside world.

There was so much they hadn't seen or explored yet, and that was one of their original ambitions/goals. They used to be so bright-eyed.

At the end of the day, though, everyone knows that with being a scout comes inevitable death, pains, and losses.

While chasing for that freedom and exploration, everyone drew closer to their own demise - some just luckier than others.

Also, the title? Moon - when it was a full moon when Eren asked Mikasa what he was to her, and river - the ocean and how it was always Armin's dream to go there.

… … … … … . . ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ,,  ⌲˘͈ᵕ˘͈  

I Bet On Losing Dogs - Mitski

I bet on losing dogs I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place By the ring Where I'll be looking in their eyes when they're down I'll be there on their side I'm losing by their side

When you think about this song as a standalone, it is clear that the overall message is about trying so hard to make something work when it just can't.

And you know it can't.

But knowing this impossibility, everyone's beliefs, choices, and devotion are unshakeable.

Even if they're losing, or if they can't change their fates, whether or not this is a never-ending loop they'll keep their place and pay for it.

Because at the end of the day, these characters wouldn't be who they are or do what they need to do without betting on something to lose.

Just as Armin said, you can't change anything if you aren't ready to abandon something. Is it love? Giving your heart to the cause? Your own freedom?

It changes depending on the perspective of who you're looking at this song from.

Whoever it is, they all stick by each other, knowing that there is one losing dog they bet on: Eren.

But not just them, so does humanity. He was humanities last hope in the beginning.

He doesn't get his happy ending, but Mikasa looks into his eyes before he goes "down".

Figuratively and literally.

How you'd be over me looking in my eyes when I come Someone to watch me die

SOBBING.

ENOUGH SAID.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Portrait of a Dead Girl

Summary:

Alina Starkov was given to Duke Aleksander Morozova of Os Alta in marriage when she was fifteen years old. Within a year, she was dead. The official cause of Alina's death was marked as putrid fever, but many at the time believed, and many in the future will go on to believe, that she was poisoned by her husband.

-

This fic is completely inspired by The Marriage Portrait by Maggie O'Farrel, which is a work of historical fiction based on the real lives of Duchess Lucrezia d'Este (née de' Medici) and Duke Alfonso ii d'Este of Ferrara. You don't need any prior knowledge of The Marriage Portrait or history to read and enjoy this fic, but know that my writing is very much going to mimic that of O'Farrel in format and although I'm hoping to write the story in my personal usual writing style I will definitely be borrowing a lot of my descriptors, symbols, and so on and so forth from O'Farrel - there will be some of mine too though :)

Warnings for this chapter: Briefly mentioned violence and child abuse

If anyone would like to be tagged in future chapters let me know :)

AO3 link

Chapter 3 - A Peculiar Fancy

Os Kervo, nine years ago

The Starkov children did not have free run of their father’s dvorets but were, until they were grown, enclosed to their nursery chambers and the adjoining classrooms, the covered walkway where they could take air, and - very occasionally - the tall battlements that surrounded it like the brim of a hat. Ana Kuya, who claimed to have been all over the dvorets and to have seen every room, would tell them that there was an entire chamber just for weapons, filled with swords and suits of armour lined up like soldiers waiting along the walls, and another filled with books.

“Book after book after book,” she said, helping seven year old Alina with a tricky button on her smock, “on shelves that reach higher than your head, or mine,”

“Higher than your head?” asked Alina, in astonishment, because other than her father Ana was the tallest person that she knew, “Are they taller than Papa?”

“They are,” she said, nodding wisely, “They are even taller than your papa. It would take more than a whole lifetime to read them all,”

There was another salon that showed maps of every country in the world and of all the stars in the sky. There was a vault lined with iron and lead, with the heaviest door they could imagine and lined with more locks than they could picture, where their mama’s jewels - especially the ones she brought with her from Shu Han - were kept safe, although Ana had to admit that this one she had not seen with her own eyes. No-one had; no-one could unlock it but their papa. 

“And there is a great long room,” Ana said, as she rubbed Alina’s cheeks with a damp cloth, “With the ceiling all so beautifully decorated,”

“Decorated with what?” Alina asked, trying and failing to lean away from the washcloth. 

“Oh, with angels, and Saints, and great warriors fighting battles,” Ana placed her hand on top of Alina’s head to hold her still, “That kind of thing,”

When Alina lay awake at night, trying to sleep, she would often think about these rooms, try to picture them and imagine walking amongst them all. Her sister Eva said her favourite to see would be the jewels; Zoya said she’d like to see the painted ceiling; Vadim, who would be Duke one day, told them all very loftily that he had actually already seen them all, some more than once. Alexei rolled his eyes at that, and Vadim kicked him in the shin. Nobody asked Alina which room she would like to see and she did not announce it, but if questioned she would have said the menagerie beneath the floors of the dvorets , where she’d heard their father kept two lions. The lions that he would show to honoured guests and would sometimes even pit against other animals for sport but that Alina and her siblings had never been permitted to see, she was sure, must be an incredible sight to behold. She was desperately excited to see them - though in the end it wasn’t the lions that ended up luring Alina downstairs like a siren call, but the new animal that arrived that year.

Some months ago, a foreign dignitary had arrived to present Gregor Starkov with a grand oil painting of a tiger, and though Alina had not seen the piece herself she had heard that it was bigger and taller than three men standing next to each other, and that it was most wonderfully beautiful. 

“A DeKappel original,” the dignitary had said, with a hint of what was presumably pride but was difficult to discern beneath the Kerch accent that so thickly coated his words, “One of a kind,”

“And he has seen one of these creatures first hand?” asked Gregor, his mind already turning. 

A tiger, he thought, would make an excellent addition to his collection.

“Of course, Your Grace,” the dignitary told him, “Such a piece could never have been completed without a study of the creature itself; he took a grand expedition through Shu Han to produce it,”

Yes, yes… he wanted one. He wanted one badly. 

Keeping the heavy sigh he heaved at this announcement private, the Duke’s advisor - an unsmiling man whose surname was Perlich and whose first name Alina never learned, because everyone only ever called him Perlich - made the appropriate notes even as he desperately hoped that Gregor would be persuaded against the plan. Perhaps he would even forget that he had conceived of it in the first place, he was, after all, rather fickle and apt to many a sudden affectation that would dissipate just as quickly as it had arrived, and they were already occupied by public unrest near Novokribirsk. But the Grand Duke could not be convinced of anything, and even before Perlich had managed to make a start on the order the enclosure had been entirely prepared; the floors swept clean, the bars reinforced. 

The peculiar fancy took a long time to travel in its course and a longer time to complete its execution, but eventually a tiger was captured in Southern Shu Han and dragged the long journey up to Western Ravka, and finally into Os Kervo itself. It was brought into the city overnight, caged and lashed to a cart to be pulled by six terrified mules, so that no-one would see its entry in daylight. No-one would see them, no-one hear them. No-one would ever find out. 

No-one, that is, except for little Alina Starkov. 

She lay on her back, tucked into a bed with her sisters and staring at the distant ceiling of the nursery in the dark. Alina always had trouble sleeping, not just because she was small for her age and Zoya, who always slept in the centre of the bed, had a habit of stretching out and almost shoving her right off the mattress, but because her mind whirred too quickly and she didn’t know how to slow it down, how to tell it that it was time to rest. It was Alina alone who lay awake in the nursery that night, Alina alone who heard a strange, distant cry as a cart trundled through the dvorets gates, Alina alone who slipped from the bed and tiptoed to the window to peer out and try to find a source of the sound. It was a low, hollow call that severed the night mournfully before dying away, and although Alina could see nothing in the impenetrable darkness beyond the glass and it would have been easy enough to convince herself that her imagination, which so often she was told was too wild, too much, too unruly, had played a trick on her, she knew that she had heard something. The dvorets was a place of strange acoustics; even at the age of seven Alina had noticed this, and she had found that if she pressed her ear against the right folds of a wall panelling, or the frame of a door, it was possible to discover all kinds of intriguing things. She had heard the ordinations of cardinals, the announcements of new siblings soon arriving, the rumoured warnings of an army gathering on the Eastern side of the Unsea, and even that there was a tiger coming from Shu Han, due to arrive any day. Conversations she wasn’t supposed to hear were always the most interesting ones, she had discovered. 

The cry sounded again; a desperate yearning, a lonely sob. Alina would have expected a tiger to roar, but as soon as she’d made the connection between her eavesdropped conversation and this sound it made more than perfect sense to her. It was the sound of a creature captured against its will, a creature whose desires have all been disregarded. 

Alina turned away from the window and studied the door on the other side of the nursery. She knew which floorboards creaked and which did not, which of her siblings were the lighter sleepers - though none quite so light as her - and for all the clumsiness she had so often been chastised for, particularly in the dance classes for which she had no real gift, she knew very easily how to glide noiselessly across this room, across the next, and out into the corridor. She crept away from her sisters, past her brothers heaped together in their bed, past the cot where baby Petro slept, past the two nurses sleeping near the door, and eased back the bolts. After a brief pause, to listen for Ana Kuya’s breathing past the next wall to be sure she was asleep, she ran her hand along the correct panel opposite the door to the nursery until she found the little brass catch. The panel swung inwards, and Alina vanished. 

Ana Kuya and the other nurses were all from Keramzin on the other side of the Unsea, Ana claimed because the best nursemaids were found only here and refused to hire from anywhere else but Alina suspected that the real reason was so they could converse in the local dialect of Keramzin without the rest of the household knowing what they’d said. What Ana Kuya did not know, however, was that Alina had a very keen ear for figuring out a good portion of what they said, something she would only get better at, and only continue to keep secret, as she grew, and it was from the nurses’ conversations that she had learned about the warren of secret passageways within the dvorets , as well as their intended purpose - for the Duke and his family to escape if the palace were attacked. 

Alina had found many of them, though she was sure not all. This particular passage was a shortcut that carried her down to the larger courtyard on a set of winding, narrow, spiral steps with no bannister, the stone cold and slick beneath her feet, the air around her impossibly dark, and Alina had to bunch the hem of her shift into one hand so she would not trip on it, her other she set flat against the wall for balance. How long would it take for someone to find her if she fell and injured herself here? Closeted between the very walls as she was, who would ever hear her shout or cry? She swallowed tightly. She was not afraid. Besides, the thought of the creature waiting for her below spurred her on. She would see the tiger. She had to. 

The small space the stairs emptied out into led her on to another corridor that, in turn, gifted her with a window through which the courtyard was made visible. She checked more than twice even though she could see no-one, but the corridor was empty of guards or servants now, neatly tucked beneath the velvet blanket of black sky as the city was. Alina took a breath before she stepped out to enter it, like she was crossing a threshold, like this was a promise - though she did not know if she was making one, or breaking it. Her fingertips pressed against the cold sill as she leaned onto tiptoes to see out of the window, having to pause and wipe away a cloud that her breath formed across the glass.

She saw the mules and the cart, a crowd of her father’s men in golden crested livery, and then - just for the briefest, flashing second, she saw it. A lithe shape that did not so much pace as pour itself from place to another, as though its entire form was molten and simmering. It was difficult to distinguish the dark bars of the cage from the dark stripes patterning the tiger’s side; the creature carried the marks of her prison on her body, as though she had always been branded for exactly this purpose, as if captivity had been her destiny all along.

And then the mules jerked forwards, the cart disappeared through a stone archway with the men following after it, and Alina was left staring at the empty cobblestones beneath the flickering braziers of the courtyard. It was as if nothing had ever been there in the first place. 

*

When Alina woke the morning after the tiger had arrived, it took her a moment to realise that the bedroom was quite so quiet because she was the last of her siblings to rise. Her face was buried deeply into her pillow and when she lifted her head she realised she was in the centre of the bed, she was alone, she was not entangled in Zoya’s arm or squished neatly between her and Eva like the filling of a sandwich. Usually Alina slept on the edge and usually the other two seemed to like it that way, but on the occasion that Alina might wake up from a nightmare and neither of them were in too sour a mood about it they would pull her in between them to be cocooned by the heat of the duvet and themselves. But they weren’t here now, and had been absent long enough for the sheets next to where Alina lay to feel cold. She peeled herself off the mattress and got to her feet, listening to the sounds of her siblings at breakfast through the open door. She stretched her arms and legs and wondered briefly if she should just flop back into the quilt until she remembered the image of the tiger and was possessed by one thought, one goal: she had to see that creature up close. She had to. 

Could she sneak down to the menagerie? She knew of no passageway that would get her there and someone would surely apprehended her if she just wandered to it out in the open, so how… she would have to be smart about this. She dressed hastily and shoved her feet into her little shoes, then slipped through the door. 

Along one side of the table sat her four elder siblings, a neat little cascade of height like a little staircase as they sat in age order. They were all exactly one year apart - Zoya was twelve, Vadim was eleven, Eva was ten, Alexei was nine. On the other side the three baby boys were sitting with their nurses and arranged in the same fashion; Artur was three, Ivo almost two, baby Petro not yet a year. There was a baffling vacancy around little Alina, a gap of more than two years wide either side of her. No children occupied those spaces, between her and Alexei or her and Artur. She’d once asked Ana why this was, why she had no siblings closer to her in age like all the rest. 

“Maybe your poor mother needed a rest,” was all Ana had said, exasperatedly, because Alina had been particularly difficult that day. 

Now she approached the table slowly, not sure where to go as her usual chair was currently occupied by the wetnurse and it seemed no other place had been set for her. She just stood there, between the wall and the table, watching her siblings take their meal like she was an interloper, like they were a scene that she was studying, or like she was a portrait on the wall behind them and none of them were interested enough to look back into her painted eyes. Then she stepped forwards, leant over the table, and snatched a hunk of bread from one of the centre plates to rip apart, still standing, with her teeth before she shoved it down her throat. 

“Alina!” snapped Ana Kuya, releasing the wriggling Artur from her lap to stand up, “Where on earth are your manners?”

Alina looked up from the bread, almost surprised to have been noticed, and watched Artur run straight across the room to use his new found freedom for the grand purpose of playing with some wooden blocks. Ana Kuya was frowning as she marched across her, taking the bread straight from her hands and setting it onto a clean plate. 

“What has happened to your hair? You look like you’ve been out in a storm - and why is your smock on backwards?”

Alina opened her mouth to reply, closed it again. 

“This child,” Ana muttered, presumably to the other nurses or just herself, motioning for Alina to raise her arms so she could swiftly yank the smock up over her head and bring it back down again the right way, “will be the death of me,”

Alina stood very still and let Ana move around her, fixing her clothes and combing the knots out of her hair, as though she were simply a statue to be perfected before display. This was the only way to be; Ana Kuya did not truck with disobedience or fidgeting or wriggling. This was her nursery, she would remind them, and things would be done her way. Eva had once, shocking them all not only in her words but in how her punishment was carried out, earned herself a swift lashing with a switch and bed with no supper when she’d muttered it’s my mother’s nursery, you old cow. But Ana Kuya did not hold grudges - and neither, it seemed, did Eva. 

Alina’s ear was burning hot under Ana’s grip, where she was holding her to keep her still as she brushed, and she tried not to wince as the comb caught a heavy knot in her hair. If you cried out Ana Kuya would probably take the brush out and wrap it against your legs before she continued. Alina closed her eyes and took herself away from the moment, picturing the menagerie far below her feet. She imagined pacing across the floor towards the bars of the tiger’s cage, hand held aloft for the creature to see as they approached each other. The tiger would not be afraid or angry, she would be calm and comforted, she would recognise something in Alina that she knew was in herself and - 

“What are you doing ?” 

Zoya’s voice brought her back to the nursery, as did a sharp tug on her ear from Ana Kuya. Eva was in fits of giggles, as were Vadim and Alexei, but Zoya looked downright disturbed as she surveyed Alina, as though simultaneously concerned for her sister and quite entirely put off by her presence. 

“What?”

Eva covered her mouth, bent double with mirth, as Alexei pulled some stupid face to mock Alina. 

“You-” Eva barely managed to say between her breathy laughs, “You were-”

“I was what ?” Alina cried, cheeks flooding with colour.

When all she got was further laughter, she turned and flung her arms around Ana Kuya, burying her face in her familiar middle. Ana stroked the back of her head, about the closest she was going to get to returning the hug. 

“You were growling ,” Zoya’s icy voice cut through the laughter in a factual, disapproving tone. 

That was how Zoya said most things, but Alina welcomed it - at least now, anyway. She wasn’t laughing at her. 

“You are so funny, ‘Lina,” Eva continued, her voice still high and musical with laughter, “Do you think you are a bear?”

Ana’s hand moved down Alina’s back in repetitive, firm, slow movements between her shoulder blades as the girl burrowed closer to her, inhaling her familiar, comforting scent and refusing to peel herself out from the folds of her dress. 

“Come along now,” Ana told her, gently but with insistence, “Let go. It’s time for lessons,”

Alina released her unhappily, and followed her still-giggling siblings into the classroom.

[forabeatofadrum]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Hi Dre!

I'm switching it up, cause I think my fave fics that I've written are known to be my favourite (recap: yada yada my big five All the pretty things that we could be, Myosotis series, Mendacious, I’d cry a river just for you, Paradiso) but YOU KNOW WHAT DRE, I have written more stuff that makes me go "aye, that actually slapped" so self-love time to fics that don't make that list!

In no order, sorted by fandom:

Just Some Guy (Carry On, Snowbaz, sorta (and Matt/Leslie??))

THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND HIMSELF. No, I'm not talking about Simon "Chosen One" Snow, but about our boi Matty Chris D. He is just some guy. It's Simon and Baz's canon 7.25 years at Watford from a perspective of an OC who couldn't care less about them, which led to some humourous situations. Dre, you actually motivated me to finish this story by giving me ideas for certain situations. I think this is one of the funniest ideas I've ever had and I'm glad with how it ended up.

Time After Time (Carry On, Snowbaz)

Time to go to the other MCD: Major Character Death. This idea had been in the back of my mind ever since Wayward Son got released and we didn't know whether Bazzy was immortal, so I played with it. Simon dies in the White Chapel and is Capital D Dead. No magic can bring him back kind of dead. He and Baz meet every 20 years when the Veil lifts. I think this fic was really challenging, because I had no idea how to end it, but I am glad that it kind of got 2 endings and it works. fatalfangirl on AO3 called this "upsettingly romantic" and I am inclined to agree. There's just this ache of looming heartbreak over the entire fic.

make a fire out of this flame (Carry On, Snowbaz)

Step aside MCD (Matt Christopher Davis), because I think this is the funniest thing I've written. It's a non-magickal textfic. I am a sucker for textfics/epistolary fics so it's wack I've never tried one myself. It's, uh, filled with Little Numbers references because I can. I just loved writing the gang (Penny, Shep, Niall, Dev) being batshit insane at times and I loved adding ridiculous memes and lines to this. Even coming up with groupchat names was a hoot. AND since it's a textfic, I didn't have to worry about typos! Formatting was hell, though, but it was so worth it. Also, Simon/Fish OTP.

All shall know the wonder (Check, Please!; Zimbits)

This is actually, probably, my favourite Zimbits fic that I've written. It's the oldest on this list. I published it in 2020, but I think I started on it in 2019. I had a huge interest in Deaf culture in the late 2010s (I hate writing it like that) and that led to this fic. Jack is Deaf, so never joined the SMH. He still likes to play, though, and he and Bitty, who is on the team, meet at Faber at 4am on a Sunday. I loved writing this fic and I am glad that other people who know more about Deaf culture and ASL (yes, Jack is Canadian, but it's explained why he also uses ASL) also liked it. Oh, and I am a bitch for Camilla Collins, so I am glad I was able to give her a role in this fic. Camilla/Shruti is probably my Check, Please! crack ship.

Ljubim te (Glee, Klaine)

I genuinely love this fic, which is why I am so bummed about the fact that the sequel isn't going as swimmingly. Kurt and Blaine meet in Ljubljana, since I used to live there for 6 months, so it's a great way for me to reminisce over my time there. The story is mostly about comphet and the idea of exploring comphet actually came from Simon/Agatha. In this fic, Blaine and Quinn totally believe they're straight and into each other, ignoring the signs that *narrator voice* they are, in fact, not straight. I loved writing Blaine/Quinn (AS FRIENDS!).

Thanks!

[just-here-for-iolaus]

Hercules in the Underworld

The great HTLJ/XWP/YH (re)watch continues!

I actually watched this AGES ago and took notes but am only now formatting this blog post.

First scene, I got overly excited, and my notes literally read "Iolaus!? But not, sadly." because our boy Michael Hurst shows up with black hair, and idec what's going on at this point because I just want to stare at him for the rest of the movie.

But the ground opens up and it's this whole thing and these two die. Boo.

The next thing I freaked out about was Timothy Balme in the credits!! I hadn't thought about it at all going into it, so I didn't know he was in the movie. (I know him mostly from Almighty Johnsons, as Mike Johnson, and for writing things I liked.)

Those credits were over a scene where a young woman was being bathed and groomed etc. It's kinda sus but we don't know what's up yet.

Then we get what is actually kind of an upsetting scene? This wrestler comes to town and the hype man is taking bet money from anyone who wants to challenge the wrestler... who then just immediately kills the first man. And his friend realllly flatly complains about it because that was his friend. Yeah, you sound heart-broken... but for some reason friend dude challenges the 'wrestler' who just literally killed someone, and he has no shot.

Then we get a really adorable reveal of Hercules with his kids and it made me happy to see him after that awful scene. He's asked to come deal with the killer in town, and so he arrives to challenge him. There's a long fight, bla bla, Hercules wins. Then it's revealed that this whole thing was Hera just causing problems to annoy Hercules and WOW is that awful.

Several men are dead because Hera blames Hercules for Zeus's infidelity... what else is new?

Hercules quite reasonably destroys the shrine to Hera outside the town.

Then Zeus comes and complaings to Herc about how he should complain less about Hera's bs? And be more grateful for how great his life is, because he has a wife and kids/happy home life and that's "more than [Zeus] ever had" which is like... confusing?? He's the king of the gods? Surely he could have had a nice wife if he'd wanted one? IDK. I don't get Zeus. And I get him less the more I see.

Herc rightfully points out that he's worked very hard to get this nice life, and I feel much more annoyed at Zeus on Herc's behalf than he is. Hercules has grown on me so much haha.

My notes: "I kept waiting for Hercules to come home to his wife and kids dead. XD" "How do we still have a wife and kids and no Iolaus???"

Luckily Herc goes home and there's a cute scene of him and his wife that shows their chemistry quite well. I liked Dei a lot here. Herc then goes and does chores but gets distracted by how much he loves his family and my FUCKING HEART. I love Hercules so much in this scene.

And he's hanging out with this centaur guy who, initially, excited me!

"A centaur! Not as well done visuals as they end up having for Cheiron in YH but fair enough."

Then this girl shows up and says she needs Herc's help in her town. We find out that the centaur doesn't like Hercules and worships Hera (even tho he works for Hercules?). He goes back to the house and gets into a confrontation with Dei where he implies that Hercules won't be faithful to her and then - (and this part makes my skin crawl) says that he can think of something else he can do better than Hercules, coming on to her. I thought this scene was unfortunately believable, both on how creepy he was and how Dei reacted.

"Die-a-nah-rah"? "Day-a-nee-rah"? Well the characters can't agree on how to say her name, so...

Dei encounters a lady who says the girl who came looking for help is trying to trick Hercules, so she goes to try to warn him. She leaves her kids with their aunt.

I got really excited, because the aunt's name is Althea (which is the name of my Young Hercules OC hahahahaha).

On the subject of names, the woman Herc is helping is named "Iole" but I definitely thought her name was "ailoli" at some point. But also why is Iole's name so similar to their daughter's name (Ilea)? WHAT IS WITH NAMES IN THESE MOVIES?? Just pick names that are more different PLEASE. Iole, Ilea, Iolaus, whyyyyy.

Anyway, off Dei goes to warn Herc but SURPRISE, Herc already knew all about it and he's convinced he'll never get seduced by anyone because the only person he loves enough to die for is Dei (sorry kids), so he sends her home with the centaur (Nessus) that tried it on the night before.

Disappointingly, Nessus tries to assault Dei, who yells for help, and Herc... Shoots a single arrow. From a huge distance. To kill Nessus without visual. She didn't say "Hercules, help, Nessus is attacking me" she just yelled for help and... I can suspend my disbelief for a lot in these movies but this was just ridiculous. He could have easily killed his wife here. JFC.

Anyway Nessus is dying and whines to Hera about it, but then tells Dei his blood is magic and if she puts her cloak (which absorbed his blood) on Herc, he'll always be loyal to her. Even in the scene this doesn't make a lot of sense, but he claims it's because he loves Dei.

Herc (to his credit) does come to Dei. He blames himself for what's happened and offers to go home, but Dei... tells him not to? Urges him to help Iole? It's a bit odd. But she says she has to help those people and she gives him the cloak and tells him to use it at night when he's cold and think only of her.

Herc and Iole get to some town where a man is just going apeshit destroying a pub or whatever, and Iole uses her special virgin powers to calm him down and figure out that he burned his tongue on soup and would have explained but couldn't talk because he was in too much pain, and he just needs a drink of water... and the guy is immediately calm. Like a toddler or animal. Except that he's a grown man, so this whole scene makes no sense whatsoever. I assumed this was some sort of like "oh, see, Iole argued with Herc that they should try talking" callback to Dei previously or something, but it's actually a set up for something else.

WE SEE TIM. He's clearly watching Iole.

But I just got so excited because I love familiar faces.

There's a scene where Iole and Herc are camping out and she tells him a story about two lovers in the stars who are destined never to reach each other... And I was like WHY AREN'T YOU USING YOUR WIFE'S CLOAK? Guess it was a balmy night.

A Tim Balme-y night.

Creeper character that he is, he's stalking Iole and we get a scene which is basically just more fanservice where Iole swims around naked (save for all her jewelry) and Lycastus (we don't know his name yet, but I feel bad calling him Tim here) watches her the whole time making wanton faces. It drags on a bit, and Iole thinks it's Herc watching her so she's playing it up... Yikes.

Lycastus attacks Hercules, and Herc is like "I'm not gonna dirty my hands on you" or something but then when Lycastus attacks again he's like "the next thing to break is your neck" which is sort of the opposite of what he just said, but okay.

Anyway Herc knocks him out instead of killing him, Iole explains that she and Lycastus are in love, but that it doesn't matter because the only thing that does matter is saving her village. And off they go, leaving poor Lycastus alone and knocked out in the wilds.

They get to town and everyone's happy cuz Herc is there to save them. At this point I was still very confused why anyone thought Herc could help, because, I mean... it's a big hole with green shit coming out of it. Hercules can't exactly beat it into submission, you know?

Zeus shows up and tells Herc not to go down there because the only thing down there is death.

From my notes: "Hercules doesnt know if he’s mortal or not… and apparently neither does Zeus…??? Even though in the last movie they were like ZOMG IF YOU GO IN THE CIRCLE YOULL BE MORTAL. Guess that doesnt matter now?"

Seriously what is or isn't canon in this universe? XD

Anyway, Lycastus tries to tell Iole not to seduce Hercules, she's like "no, I love you, but I have to do this" but then these two start making out!! She's like "no, I can't (bone you right here right now)" but he argues that she wants to, and she's just like "yeah, but I can't" and Herc shows up right then to tell her that he just can't bring himself to go in that hole (in the ground).

Iole then strips and tries to convince Herc to do it for her, but he's like "nah, this is really uncomfortable, sorry" and isn't interested at all and honestly... his face when she starts dropping her dress? He seems so like "what is she doing?".

This is not a man who was ever going to cheat on his wife.

I'm still wondering if maybe he's kinda demisexual? Like he needs to form a certain kind of bond with someone before he considers them sexually attractive? Not important, just a thought.

HILARIOUSLY, on his way out of the tent he's like "Hey Lycastus, take care of her" which makes me wonder if he knew Lycastus was there the whole time, and chose to cockblock him when he entered, or...? XD

And it's only now, when Herc is deciding to go home, that he puts on Dei's cloak for the first time. It starts beating him up (really, just, watch the scene, there's no other way to describe it?) and when he finally gets it off, it turns into a peacock (for Hera) before disappearing entirely.

This drives him to throw himself into the hole because... he's mad at the gods?

Unfortunately someone runs and tells Dei that Herc is dead because there was a cloak that drove him mad. She believes he's dead and that it's her fault.

Then we get treated to more Michael Hurst (as Charon the Boatman, so a little less photogenic than usual), who informs Hercules that he's still alive. I thought it was kinda rude Herc stole his lantern (especially after getting a free boat ride) but I suppose even heroes can have flaws. (I say, knowing full well I will never blame Iolaus for stealing anything ever.)

Dei then, uh... walks to a cliff, thinking about Hercules, I think with the intention of killing herself already, but then it's implied that Hera gives her a vision of Herc reaching out to her, and she walks off trying to reach back to him? I'm not sure if Hera's involvement was needed, but maybe they wanted to soften the suicide angle a bit. But like, why would she have even been there otherwise, dressed like that and having flashbacks of him... ANYWAY.

There's a really weird scene where these three "women" come to Hercules in the underworld and start like, seducing him, I guess? And he keeps picturing sexy times with his wife (clips from earlier) and repeating her name... until he snaps out of it and kills(?) them.

Basically the dead are all after Hercules. Especially the villains he killed. Herc pits the villains against each other to get away. Honestly the fighting gets boring.

Nessus reveals himself to Herc and explains how he betrayed him. He reveals that Dei killed herself because she blamed herself for his death. Herc tricks Nessus into opening the portal to where Dei is (to "show" her to Herc) and Herc jumps through it. (Suck it, Nessus.)

Herc finds Dei, but she doesn't remember him. Hades shows up and (I actually thought quite reasonably) explained that he had erased the pain that brought her there, and that she was dead but basically happy. It's a reward for her good life. Herc says he's gonna take her home and Hades tries to explain that that's just, not really how death works.

He also claims that her memory can't be restored. But the moment Herc kisses her, she gets her memories back, so... that was incorrect.

Fortunately for Herc, Hades is dealing with a problem right now. Hercules offers to catch Cerberus for Hades in exchange for Dei leaving with Herc. They make the deal, even tho Hades is doubtful it will happen. And for some reason tries to raise the stakes on the bet by saying if Herc fails then she's Hades's forever?

From my notes: "I kind of loved Hades? He was actually being pretty kind to Deianeira etc. and it was reasonable for him to make a deal with Hercules. Eventually Dei will die though so like… IDK that was kind of a weird like IF YOU FAIL SHE IS MINE FOREVER like yeah I guess if you die, you're dead forever? IDK."

How does death normally work in this world??

The underworld guards were actually so funny. Some really interesting/fun costume stuff and fake limbs, etc. But clearly they were limited with the budget/technology of the time.

To quote my notes: "Speaking of visuals, Cerberus is… rough…" (Not even so much the practical props, but the CGI.. yikes)

But Hercules manages to not only find, but corner Cerberus, and, remembering the TONGUE BURNING SCENE FROM EARLIER, is able to calm him down and get him back to his post instead of killing him. That's great and all, but I think the whole thing would have been better if that first scene had been about a child or animal and not a grown man.

To their credit, the guards seemed quite satisfied with the whole thing. I liked these guys haha.

Getting Hades back to normal saves the village, as the hole closes up. Iole apologizes to Herc and Dei, then announces that she's gonna start a family with Lycastus. Herc and Dei have some PDA in the town which makes me wanna gag just a little bit.

Zeus then comes to visit his family and he and Herc chat about whether or not Hercules is immortal, and apparently Herc doesn't care either way.

The movie ends on Herc being asked to help someone again (almost played for laughs? But not by the characters, at least).

Final thoughts:

Overall, a pretty solid plot.

I can't get over how stupid the soup scene is. Literally just needed it to be a kid or an animal in a similar scenario to solve that issue. It was great that it came back when dealing with Cerberus, but the initial scene itself was a mess.

I wanted to see more of Lycastus, not because his plot felt unfinished, but just because I actually really liked the character and it was Tim haha.

Once again I ask: How do we still have a wife and kids and no Iolaus???

I was not surprised that Dei died. But BOY was I surprised that Dei didn't stay dead. WTF.

On that note, I really like Dei. I liked how certain she was initially of her bond with Herc and that it was only after she was convinced that there was treachery afoot that she went to warn him (and I love that she was trying to WARN him, not be all jealous - she was told he would die, so of course she'd want to warn him)!

I also really liked Hercules's loyalty and the love he showed throughout the movie for his wife and kids. It's very endearing.

WHERE IS THIS GOING? How does this become the TV show?? XD