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do you have any tips for making and evolving grammar? ive gotten pretty good at phonology but grammar still trips me up
The idea behind grammaticalization is that it happens in roughly the same way every single time.
The first stage is some expression takes on some additional grammatical meaning. So at one point in time "I am going to eat" met "The reason I am presently moving is I'm heading toward a place where I intend to eat". It meant something not too different from "I'm walking to eat" or "I'm heading to eat". Given that there was a clear parallelism between the logical series of events described and a grammatical notion (futurity), the expression took on an extra grammatical meaning.
The second stage is the expression becomes conventionalized, and so it feels different to use that expression vs. some similar expression. Thus, "I am going to eat" indicates futurity in a way that "I'm walking to eat" does not.
The third stage sees the expression undergoing phonological erosion. This can take many, many, MANY different forms, and it can go in stages. There are some general strategies you can use here that will apply elsewhere in conlanging. Sound changes occur here, but general only lenition/reduction, and they're not universal (i.e. they can apply only to this expression or lexical item). It may result in affixes of some type; it may result in the word itself being pronounced differently; it may result in stress or tone changes and the complete loss of the original word or expression... It depends on the shape of the expression, the phonology and phonotactics of the language, and the position of the expression with respect to the rest of the sentence.
I'll give you two examples from English. We have something like "I am going to" becoming "I'm goin' ta" becoming "I'm gonna" becoming "I'm'unna" becoming "I'm'a", which is a pretty radical reduction. On the other hand, we have "used to", which saw the [z] devoicing to [s], and the loss of the final [d]/[t] in the verb, but otherwise it remained pretty stable—still have [ju] in the beginning, and we have the option of ending with [tǝ] or [tu] still (for the latter pronunciation, consider when we use it as a response: "Do you play Warcraft?" "Well, I used to..."). The expression has definitely been reduced, but not as radically as "I am going to".
The fourth and final stage sees the loss of the original expression entirely—that is, it has no more meaning save its grammatical meaning. I don't think we've quite hit that with "going to", but we darn sure have with "used to". It's now a completely different lexical item from to "use" (compare "A remote control is used to control a television" vs. "My remote control used to work, but now it doesn't"). If you try to force the original "use" meaning into the "used to" expression, your brain twists in knots trying to figure out who's doing the use and what that has to do with past habituality.
As a conlanger, I think we look at the third stage as the most difficult, but it's something you can learn and practice and get better at. I see the first stage as the hardest. It's easy enough to identify instances of grammaticalization in one's own language, but to create novel ones? That's challenging! You have to identify common phrases in your conlang and imagine how they might get repurposed as grammatical expressions, and some of these grammatical expressions may be things that don't necessarily exist in natural languages (or things that do that the conlanger happens to have not come across). The reason is the grammatical expression results from the unique lexical combination, and the one you create may be entirely novel.
For example, I have this experience with blueberries, where no matter how they look, I swear like 50% of the time they're sour, miserable little sods. Then you take one of his brothers that looks identical and it's a sweet, perfect cinnamon roll. So you can imagine that a word like "blueberry", if mine was a common experience, might double as a modifier that means "50/50 chance this thing will be the way you want it to be". So then if you ask, "What are Steinbeck's books like?", and you could say, "They're blueberry books" (because like half of them are great, and half of them are To a God Unknown).
If that got conventionalized, it might get used with verbs, too, so you could say, "I'm going to blueberry shop for furniture at the swap meet this Saturday". And then if it gets used enough, whatever the word for "blueberry" is could reduce phonologically and become its own grammaticalized expression, but what would you call it? A 50/50 marker? Does it exist in a natural language? Some kind of "uncertain" marker, I guess? Ultimately, it doesn't matter what you call it or if it actually exists in some natural language somewhere, since what matters is how it works, and where it came from. As a conlanger, if you can demonstrate the latter, that's all you need.
So that's grammaticalization in a nutshell. Hope that helps!
#sillysanddweller#conlang#language#linguistics#grammaticalization#grammar#language creation#English grammar
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Defense Films Names His Top 5 Favorite Rappers
In All It’s Infinite Glory And Magnanimity, Defense Gives You His Top 5 Favorite Rappers.
5. 50 Cent
To this day, when you need a playlist for a MMA class and the group is hella diverse, you’re not really sure which way to go with it, pop in that 50. Can’t go wrong with Get Rich Or Die Trying (the original), or even that G-Unit Beg For Mercy.
That run from late 2002-2005/06 was unlike anything you’ll ever see again. That was a perfect situation where there was organic support from fans and there were people at a business level, mainly 50, that knew how to turn it into the wave that it became and industry has been trying to replicate this ever since.
While most people remember is the numerous scandals, beefs and controversies of that time but it was the music that moved the audience. For all the ways 50 Cent’s success mirrors ruthless American capitalism, his debut album is low key one of the most inspiring albums you’ll ever listen to.
It’s a foxhole mentality on wax. It’s me-versus-you type thinking. It’s someone has to lose and I’ll be damned. It’s who ever has to get hit, is gonna get hit.
See the first time I listened to it, it was about “In Da Club”, “Wanksta”, you know the more palatable records that got on radio and all that but the more I listened the more I realized, it was actually built on the backs of songs like “Patiently Waiting”, “Many Men”, “Back Down”, “Don’t Push Me” and “Gotta Make It To Heaven”. On one side it’s as motivational as you can think of but it’s not the wacky kind of naivé motivational talk because it’s willing to get it’s hands dirty and go in to much grittier ideas.��
Like his predecessors, 50 pulls off the trick of balancing easy-to-listen-to records on a foundation of graphic and aggressive songs.
Recommended Songs: Maybe We Crazy, When It Rains It Pours
4. Jedi Mind Tricks
I’ll give you props if you know who these man are but they are legends. Point blank. Violent By Design will forever rank as one of the great group albums in hip-hop history. Vinny Paz, Jus Allah and producer/DJ Stoupe The Enemy of Mankind, gave hip-hop a shockwave they weren’t ready for, especially back in 1999.
Hip-hop as a business wasn’t ready to market a group, whose themes were rooted in topics like government control, military warfare, covert control tactics, religion and psychological warfare. To have all that in one bundle wasn’t something that big time A&R’s were ready for.
Had they started this group in 2010, they would have walked in to a business landscape that was far more suitable to who they were as an act and as MC’s.
Even with that JMT still enjoyed a lot of notoriety and they definitely succeeded in establishing their following, despite the odds.
While Violent By Design may serve as the magnum opus of their body of work, their run really starts in 1997 with the Psycho-Social, Biological & Electro-Magnetic Manipulation Of Human Kind.
Yes guy, that’s an album title. You gotta think now, I was in high school the first time I heard this and I was very into conspiracy theories and nonsense, so this album hit me right between the eyes. The idea that someone could use the medium of hip-hop in this way was crazy and the album would have been more than 10 years old when I first heard it.
No, the hip-hop historians among us will argue that Wu-Tang were a better and more influential group and I’d tend to agree, I can also bust back and say, “these dudes took Wu-Tang’s formula and gave it a whole different edge.”
I’ll break it to you like this, Wu-Tang gave the world swordsmanship and the first projectile weapons like bow and arrows, spears and the likes. Jedi Mind Tricks gave the world gun powder, advanced modern explosives and semi-automatics. You see what I mean?
Recommended Songs: Untitled, Retaliation Remix
3. Jay-Z
No top rappers list is complete without my man. The only reason he ain’t higher is because, I rate a rapper more highly if they’re in the prime of their musical abilities. If this were an all-time list he’d be way way higher.
Beginning with Reasonable Doubt is really the only place to start when it comes to Jay. The production, the skits, the way every sentence was so tightly wound together, the word selection and sentence construction. It’s remembered as an album of hits because of tracks like “Cant Knock The Hustle”, ”Feelin It” and “Brooklyn’s Finest” but Reasonable Doubt was really defined by “Dead Presidents”, “D’evils”, “Politics As Usual” and “Can I Live”.
The first batch of songs gave the album some relatability, as far as depicting club vibes and nightlife glamour because that second batch of songs were all built on darker themes like betrayal, jealousy, greed, blind ambition and deception. That combination of themes as well as the production to match each one is why that album will always rank high among a certain listenership.
With that being said, never make the mistake of thinking Jay or any man is perfect. There’s like a 3 album run where there’s moments of dope-ness but not a truly complete album.
Still with that, songs like “Imaginary Player” and “Where I’m From” will rank among his best songs.
It’s only when you get to The Blueprint can you start to see Jay perfecting the art of crafting, whole, complete albums that bump from start to finish. The Blueprint was near perfection in this regard. “U Don’t Know”, “Heart Of The City” and “Momma Loves Me” will rank as his best efforts and yeah, I skipped a few.
The Black Album replicated the Blueprint’s listenability, while also dealing in topics that created an album that sounded very personal to Jay.
All told, the best parts of his catalogue are so strong that there is no denying his place on my list.
Recommended Songs: Dead Presidents, I Love The Dough
2. Action Bronson
I cannot for the life of me fathom how this man doesn’t get the love but the real ones know.
The mixtape download era (2010-2017 give or take), had many unlikely success stories. An overweight white guy, who grew up cooking in his parents deli/eatery, turned pro-chef then turned rapper, is beyond unlikely. Only the internet could allow this man to succeed and thank the hip-hop gods it did.
From 2012 to about 2018, Action was one of the only constants in my playlist. I still remember where I was the first time I heard “Brunch”. His catalogue starting with the Tommy Mas produced, Dr Lecter and boasting full collaborations albums along side Statik Selektah and the Alchemist, and of course the classic Blue Chips series. This man’s prime will be underrated.
If you’re going to take one chapter of Bronson’s art and study it, it’s going to be Blue Chips 1 and 2. Both are thematically perfect without ever trying to be. Which is what allowed Party Supplies to make production choices that grabbed you from the jump. From the first time you hit play on the opening of Blue Chips 1, you’re hit with the sound of falling shards of glass and a violin sound that makes the opening song un-skippable. The songs themes are also a perfect introduction to the man himself. Debauchery, expensive taste, hedonism, revelry, unabashed pleasure-seeking, drug use and just enough self-depreciation that you felt you were along for the ride rather than just a fly on the wall, turning your nose in disgust. It was a perfect mixtape, at a time when mixtapes were at a crazy dumb high standard.
It’s not so much that a rapper made punchlines about food, that would be an over-simplification and really missing the trick. It’s that he made everything he said sound like the dopest thing ever and the most underrated trick about his music is that he made grown man rap without needing to be thuggin’. A rare feat.
Bronson has since gone on to establish himself as a content creator/producer/food review guy but man, what he accomplished as a complete body of work is nothing short of astonishing.
Recommended Songs: Midget Cough, Bonzai
1. Headie One
So it’s late last year. I’m hanging with my boy Phil and Brown, we had just finished some content and Phil says “yo listen to this”. He proceeds to play Golden Boot and it hasn’t stopped bumping since.
A UK rapper with a lyrical nous and wit that rivals even legends like Jay-Z, but rapping over trap and drill beats. What Headie One is doing is not the norm and I’m talking in terms of his lyrics, sentence construction, word selection, metaphors, he does it all and like all the greats, he makes it look easy.
His collaboration with RV definitely helped mold him, with both the “Sticks and Stones” and “Drillers and Trappers” mixtapes giving you an idea of what Headie offers as a lyricist. He compliments RV’s brash, aggressive boasts with slightly less obvious but incredibly witty boasts of his own.
His discography though really starts to peak with 2018′s “The One”. That’s where Headie begins find a sweet spot between his lyrics, production and the themes of his songs. A mixtape like this can only exist via independent release because outside of the aforementioned “Golden Boot”, ain’t none of those songs getting any radio play especially in a country as “conservative” as England. Even in a genre saturated with gangsta/trap, “The One” stands out for what he accomplishes lyrically.
Headie would follow that by releasing “The One Two” in June of 2018 and he ascends even more in what he’s able to accomplish with the words.
The track “Banter On Me” should be in an all-time list somewhere for being the wittiest track of all time. The song is literally just Headie finding new and innovative ways to boast, call out and bait his foes. Hip-hop/Rap has plenty of beef songs that weren’t really direct call outs to any known public figure but were still definitely taking shots at someone. 50 cent’s “Wanksta” and “Officer Down” are some examples of such songs I can think of. Those did not really have the kind of wit Headie displays here. The constant streams of alliterations, double meanings, puns, metaphors, inferences and innuendos is just astonishing. There’s a real mastery of language at play here. The song is a lesson in language, no textbooks.
Headie has since released his debut album along with additional tracks for the delux version of the album. His debut studio release “Edna” does what studio releases are supposed to do. “Parle-Vouz Anglais” and “Aint It Different” will standout and are difinitely the most palatable songs as far as radio play. Those are the 2 songs I’d play for first time listeners.
Recommended Songs: Hard To Believe, Dues, Zodiac
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My v brief opinions on control z
Spoilers
Sofi- tbh I’m kinda neutral about her because sometimes I could not stand her and sometimes I really liked her. Some of her scenes really do hit home and I do see parts of myself in her so I really enjoyed those aspects
Pablo- a dickhead, we do not like him, I hope he gets what he fukcing deserves in the next season
Natalia- mans gonna end up getting killed or going to prison the stupid bitch
Maria- the WORST type of girl, if I saw her in real life I’d beat her the fuck up but pablo shouldn’t have treated her like that because she’s pregnant and it is equally his fault
Isabella- what can I even say.... an icon. A queen. We love her and I lovedddd her development it was so good
Luis- my bby- they really fucked him over like that, I’ll never forgive them
Gerry- He was jus-... I-... I’m just so baffled, they really chucked everything on him like how is he gonna be the one to kill 2 people. I hate him, he is a bastard but they did him dirty af by making him shoot javi.
Javi- I’m sorry but he is so precious and needed to be protected. I know he was a dick in the past but you can see that he did change because he never let anyone get bullied and was terrified when sofi jumped into the pool,
he deserved so much better and if he is actually dead I’m gonna be v disappointed
Raul- erm wtf. Ngl I clocked that he was the hacker as soon as they started to investigate javi cuz there was still 3 eps left so they weren’t gonna expose it that soon. At first I wouldn’t have minded for sofi to end up with either javi or Raul but Raul became the worst. When we find out why he did everything it’s the perfect insight into a very toxic and manipulative person. He is willing to do anything to anyone for sofi. One thing I wish they would have done is made Raul shoot javi, just because it would have made a lot more sense because he hated javi for taking sofi away from him and javi’s death would have been so much more impactful imo
Headteacher- the worst character, it breaks my heart that luis was going through so much pain and the bastard did nothing. Also where there no other teachers??!????? Cuz it seemed like there were only like 3 when it looks like a big school 😐
Overall- I enjoyed it, it was good and an easy binge It’s like elité, gossip girl and You and that’s was balanced very well. I’d give it a solid 7.6/10. The only people I liked were javier and Isabel....and that’s it. I kinda hated everyone else.... I also wish it was less white because it does take place in Mexico sooo...and one thing I HATED was the soundtrack, I’m sorry to say but it was awful and it really took away from the impact of the scenes , I really hope that they improve it in the next season. Also the whole malarkey with sofi’s dad.....like what even was that and why was nothing explained, it better be in the next season.
Those are my vvv brief opinions, Vaarwel :)
#netflix#control z#ana valeria becerril#sofia herrera#yankel stevan#raùl león#micheal ronda#javier williams#macarena garcia#natalia alexander#macarena garcía romero#fiona paloma#maria alexander#andres baida#pablo garcia#patricio gallardo#gerry granda#zion moreno#isabella de la fuente
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Chapters: 9/?
Fandom: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Relationship: Susan Grimshaw/Dutch van der Linde
Summary:
Following the massacre in Blackwater and amidst a snowstorm, Dutch van der Linde and Susan Grimshaw mysteriously vanish. The pair appear in New York City (2009) and set out to find their way back to 1899. Quite literally out of time in this strange century, the twosome find comfort in each other, rekindling their flame along the way.
**Note: explicit themes begin in chapter 5.
Chapter 1: The Fall
Blackwater.
That place--that bloodbath--that failure left a foul taste in Dutch van der Linde's mouth.
Micah Bell had instigated and encouraged robbing the boat that was full of bank notes; $150,000 to be exact. The plan had been perfect. It was supposed to be easy.
The Van der Linde gang had gotten admission to the money reasonably straightforwardly.
Conversely, the Pinkerton Detective Agency and the Blackwater Police Department showed up too fast. A violent gunfight ensued. The gang was overwhelmed; John Marston, Mac and Davey Callander, and Jenny Kirk had all been shot.
Where the hell was Sean?
Ultimately, it was an unwinnable situation.
Desperate times required desperate measures...
Van der Linde had to do something to ensure that some of them survived.
Ultimately, Dutch murdered a young woman and stashed the money in the city of Blackwater. Then, the gang fled north into a vicious snowstorm through the mountains of Ambarino. The frantic rush of escaping certain death and capture in Blackwater matured into an eerie silence that settled amongst the surviving gang members as they continued on.
As the caravan pushed through the freezing whiteout, Jenny Kirk had succumbed to her wounds.
The Van der Linde gang's streak of tragic luck was sustained when a wagon’s wheel broke off with a loud crack of wood and rolled away...
The blizzard made it difficult to see a foot in front of their faces. Without hesitation, the gang’s arbiter climbed down and went in search of the wheel.
Wanting to resolve the situation as quickly as possible, their leader followed as he knew Davey would not last much longer in this cold, but if they could just get him inside and warm soon rather than later, he might recover. He told himself that, but he knew better. Still, he needed to get his remaining folks out of the harsh cold or more of them would perish.
That wouldn't do.
Miss Grimshaw crept down to lower area in the road and called out. “I think I see it.”
Dutch cursed and held out his arm in front of his face while he trudged through the snow after Miss Grimshaw. As he pushed onward, the snow and icy wind continued to whip at his exposed flesh. The harsh blizzard made it nearly impossible for him to see let alone walk. He hoped that they might find the stray wagon wheel quickly and continue on.
“Susan!” Dutch shouted to her. “Any luck?”
Slowly, Dutch kept walking further into the storm. He bundled his hands over his mouth trying to warm them, but had little to no luck. Then, he tilted the brim of his hat down in an attempt to keep the snow out of his eyes and face.
What a mess this was...
Miss Grimshaw took each step with a careful precision, avoiding any ice patches the best she could. She’d encountered worse storms, but never under such dire circumstances.
“Over here! I think it’s jus’ ahead of me.”
Miss Grimshaw blindly reached forward to try and feel for the wheel. When her hand connected with nothing, she rewrapped her arms around herself and searched with her foot. After another step forward, she tried again.
“I thought it went this way but--well, I can’t see a damn thing!”
Her lantern hung loosely from one hand, but it did nothing to improve her vision.
Dutch let out a sigh as he found his way to her. He was beginning to worry about the people back in the caravan, freezing to death. They needed resolve this before it was too late.
“We need to hurry up and find this goddamn wheel, otherwise..." He hesitated. He didn’t even want those thoughts to cross his mind. The gang couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. Especially, not now.
Dutch went further ahead into the blizzard before spotting something that looked round. It could be the missing wheel, but it could be anything else.
Miss Grimshaw slowly made her way towards the sound of Dutch’s voice, holding up her lamp in a last ditch effort to see.
“Let’s worry about that wheel. It’s all we can control at the moment.”
She believed that focusing on what could go wrong would make things go wrong.
Not expecting him to be that close, Miss Grimshaw startled when she reached Dutch. She continued her previous methods of searching until her foot dislodged a rock. Pebbles rolled and clattered, falling from the cliff's edge.
Miss Grimshaw took a quick step back.
The woman’s boot connected with ice.
She’d desperately grasped at Dutch’s arm for stability, but by then she’d already fallen too far and only pulled him along.
Dutch was astonished when he suddenly felt himself lurch forward and off the dark cliff face. A small sound slipped from his lips as he felt the tug of Miss Grimshaw’s grip on his arm, pulling him with her into the dark depths below.
In an immediate moment, Dutch took it upon himself to reposition the woman in his arms on top of his torso so she may be spared any long lasting injuries from the harsh fall. Dutch’s mind was racing. Visions of the gang, and what would happen to Susan and himself when they hit the ground flashed before his eyes.
Hopefully, it wouldn’t wound and mangle their bodies. Perhaps, they would be fortunate enough to die from impact.
Wind and snow rushed around the pair as they continued to fall.
Dutch screwed his eyes shut and held Miss Grimshaw tightly to him.
Falling felt like an eternity.
Eternity felt like the end.
#rdr2#susan grimshaw#reddead2#reddeadcommunity#rdr2 fandom#rdr#susan#dutch van der linde#vandershaw#I don’t know how to break#I’m in pain from this poor formatting
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Ring of Fire, Part 4
Tw: cursing. A character on drugs while in the hospital somewhat loses her filter and curses a bit.
Zero sits beside her, holding her hand. She’s tired, she’s weak, she’s injured, but she’s alive.
Her fingers twitch, trying to tighten.
“Freya?” Zero looks down at her.
She smiles tiredly, her eyes fluttering closed again. “Jus…..jus’ want…..make sure….you’rrrrrrre…..here.” She mumbles.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
Her eyes peel open again. She frowns at him. “I….’mmmmm gonn’.....fix that.”
Zero follows her gaze to the button on his chest. “It’s okay.” He says quietly
“ ‘sssss a control button.” She slurs.
“I know.”
That makes her frown. “You…..’ve had the-m be…..fore.”
It wasn’t a question but he nods.
“Telllll meeeee? She trails off but still manages to frown fiercely at him.
“Are you ordering me?” Zero asks, tone light.
She squints at him, trying to discern if he’s serious or not. “Yesssss.” She says, correctly catching the joke.
“My old Master put them on me.” He says quietly. “To keep me….d-docile. A-nd to make me behave. It wasn’t the kind that would kill me. But it would h…...hurt me.” It’s strange, to say these things aloud. Something inside of him squirms at the idea of telling Freya, afraid that she won’t like him anymore after hearing this. “He…..activated it when I was…..bad…...when I, when I forgot that I didn’t feel….or, or sometimes just…..just for….fun.” Zero flinches, his hand going limp in Freya’s. He can’t look at her.
“Z….”
He looks back at the distress in Freya’s voice.
She’s frowning at him, her eyes shining with tears. “I’m sorry.” She says quietly. “No….no one is gonna do that to you ever again.” She says slowly. “I ppppromise.” Her eyelids sag, it’s a moment before she manages to open her eyes again. “ ‘m gonna make sure he pays.”
“Who?”
“Youuuuuur old…..fucker.” She mumbles. “Your old piece of shiiiiit.”
Zero smiles. She’s so drugged right now. “Okay.”
“I mmmean it!” Freya opens her eyes wide. “Zero, you know something?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m a very powerful person.” She giggles.
“I know.”
“ ‘m gonna make them take…..take it off you.” She says, referring once more to the control button.
“Thank you.”
Freya nods, her face screwed up and indignant.
There’s silence again, broken only by the beeping machine that monitors her vitals.
“Zero?” Freya’s voice is small this time, shaky.
He looks down at her, worried. “I’m here.”
Her eyes are shining with tears, her lip wobbling like a child’s. “They hurt you.”
“Yes.” He rubs his thumb against her hand, like she does to him sometimes. His past was no secret, just not something he discussed with her.
“They….shouldn’t do that.”
“Okay.”
“I…..I don’ want you…..to be hurt.”
“I’m not. Not right now.”
Freya nods and the tears spill over on her face. Slowly, so no one can see reason to activate the button, Zero leans over and wipes the tears away. As he sits back, Freya summons the strength to latch on tighter to his hand.
“Don’t go.”
“I’m not. I won’t.”
Freya tugs at her blankets ineffectually.
Zero helps her move them and she directs him until they’re half off of her.
“Get in.” She says sleepily
“What?”
“Get in.” She weakly pats the bed beside her.
“There’s not room.”
“I’ll move.”
Zero glances up at the cameras in the room. “I don’t think the hospital will like that.”
“Fuck them.”
“Freya.”
“I mean it. I’ll sue them if they stop you or hurt you.” Freya tugs at his hand.
Zero sighs, glancing up once more at the camera. He leans over and Freya twines her arms around his neck. Gently, Zero shifts her over and climbs in beside her.
“I’m gonna keep you here and they can’t hurt you.” Freya whispers to him.
“You’re very intoxicated.”
Freya nods. “I am on drugs.” She confirms.
Zero holds back a smile.
Freya tries to roll over, to wrap her arm around him. Zero gently nudges her back in place.
“I’ll hold you, okay?” He offers
Freya nods.
He wraps his arms around her gingerly, trying to avoid her injuries. He shifts so that she’s leaning on him, her head back against his chest.
Freya entangles her fingers with his. “They can’t take you.” She whispers. “Or deactivate you or hit that button. I’ll know.”
Zero is hit with a surge of affection for her.
“I won’t let them.” She assures him.
“Okay. Get some sleep, Freya. You’ll be less drugged after.”
Freya snorts but relaxes against him.
She speaks again right when Zero thought she was finally asleep.
“Zero?”
“Yes, Freya?”
“Thank you.” She says quietly. “For saving me. For staying with me. I…” Her breath hitches. “I didn’t want to die.”
Zero’s hold on her tightens. “I’ll always come back for you.”
Freya nods. “And I’ll…...I’ll always…..protect you…..too.” She turns her head, pressing her bandaged cheek against him.
“Thank you.” Zero whispers, but she is already asleep.
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Long Live the Knight
AN: I considered tacking this onto ‘Returning Home’, but. Well. Why would I do that when I can hurt you again? For free! Your choice as to whether it’s an alternate ending or canon; whichever makes you happy, my friends.
Happy birthday, Jason!
* * *
Even though it’s technically their fault, Antoine is grateful there’s no emergency services coming. That is one more headache they can’t afford to deal with right now.
(Although they could...maybe...sort of take them hostage? No, no, they can’t, but…)
The rain is doing a fine job of getting the fire under control, but somehow that just makes this worse. With the inferno gone, they can get a good look at what’s left of Arkham. It’s not much. There’s a couple of walls that survived the blast, but at least one of them looks like it’s swaying where it stands. Everything else is a pile of bricks and smouldering wood, with a few broken gargoyles scattered amongst the rubble.
“What do we do?” Jimmy’s whispering. He’s fine, minus the headache; whatever the Bat nailed him with didn’t last long. Or wasn’t enough. Who knows. Who cares. “Do we just...leave?”
He doesn’t know. Nowhere was this possibility mentioned. Even all the way down the list to contingency plan fuckin’ Z, this was not planned for.
“Antoine?”
“I don’t fuckin’ know!” He gestures to the buildings. Or. What’s left of them. “I don’t know, man, just...just give me a minute, okay?”
Okay. Okay. Gordon and Robin are in the car. Gordon wasn’t too happy with being a technical hostage yet again, but he’d shut up about it for the time being in favor of making sure Robin’s okay. He seems to be fine. You know. Given the circumstances. He’s not gonna bleed out or anything awful. But…
Logically, he knows the boss has to be dead. There’s no way in hell he could have survived that blast, especially not with that gunshot wound, and…
But he’s shrugged off explosions before. And they can’t just leave him here, but…
He has no idea what to do.
“Do a walkthrough,” he says at last. “See if he turns up, and if he doesn’t, we’ll...we’ll go. I guess. I don’t know.”
“Okay.”
Antoine has no idea which is worse; finding what’s left of him, or not finding him at all.
“Somebody stay with Gordon.”
“On it.”
Trent gets Gordon duty, in case the guy tries anything, and the rest of them spread out to search the grounds. Well. As much as they can, anyway.
There’s no sign of the Knight. No sign of Batman, either-what was that?
Nothing. Just. Just wind. Or rubble settling, whatever. Nothing living.
(He doubts there’s anything living under that.)
He should, he guesses, get back on the main line and...and tell people that the Knight’s gone, give the order to pull out and...he doesn’t know. There weren’t supposed to be fatalities.
(There wasn’t supposed to be this fatality.)
There’s a noise and he flails until the flashlight hits a shadow a few feet away. His first thought is a terrified, BATMAN!, but it’s not Batman. No ears.
“Identify yourself!”
Whoever it is says nothing and he moves closer. Maybe Batman lost his cowl-that’s not the Bat. Holy shit, it’s the boss. How the hell…?
Doesn’t matter.
“I found him!”
“What?”
“Where are you?”
“Over here!”
Frank’s sprinting over here already, Mark not far behind, and Antoine checks-more out of habit than anything-for Batman before following.
The Knight doesn’t see to see them, even when they get close. His hand’s still plastered to his side, but--
--he’s going down. Frank catches him before he hits the ground and he chokes and tries to right himself, legs twitching like an insect’s, but Frank’s already easing him down with a soft, “We gotcha…we gotcha, you’re okay…you’re okay, just don’t move, you’re gonna hurt yourself…”
“Y-you came back.” He reaches up and grabs onto Frank’s arm, the one bracing his shoulder. “You came back, y-you didn’t—”
“Sh-sh-sh.” Frank moves to let Mark close and tilts the boss’s head away from his side. “Don’t. Just don’t, we’re gonna fix you up, just stay still, okay?”
The Knight gags, back arching, and now there’s blood on his lips and dripping down his chin. Frank pulls a glove off to wipe it away and Mark swears.
“Shit-okay. Okay. Sir? Anything I should know about?”
“Mm.” He swallows, face scrunching up in a clear blech, and gasps out, “I dunno. I dunno, it hurts—”
“Shh,” Frank soothes, and the boss whines. “It’s okay, you’re gonna be fine. Just stay still.”
“Yeah,” Mark says, and oh no. He sounds. Not mad. “You’re gonna be fine.” Oh no. “I’m not…okay. Okay. Riley! I don’t care what grandmas you have to run down, get the car here, close as you can get it without hitting us. Today!” Antoine doesn’t hear him leave-didn’t even hear him come up-but that doesn’t mean anything. He’s not the stealth expert for nothing. “Okay, boss, you gotta stay still, and you gotta stay with me. All right?”
“M’sorry.” He swallows again, doesn’t even seem to realize that Frank’s started petting his head. “M’sorry, I-I-I tried—”
“Shh. You’re okay, you’re fine, we gotcha, just stay still, okay? Stay with us, Mark’ll patch you up, good as…” Yeah. “Before.”
Somebody gets out another flashlight and Jesus he doesn’t look good. He’s white as a sheet and there’s so much blood and—
That’s not really the Knight, not anymore. That’s a kid, a hurt, terrified kid, and he looks like he’s about to die.
“M’sorry,” he’s still mumbling. “God, m’sorry, I jus’…I didn’t…”
“Shh.” Frank’s fingers cup his chin to keep him from looking at what Mark’s doing. “Shh, you’re fine, just calm down. Breathe with me, come on…”
“Mm—”
“Shh. Don’t talk, just breathe,” Frank murmurs, fingers still stroking his hair. “In and out, nice and easy…you’re gonna be okay, just stay still…”
“Gimme more light,” Mark barks over his shoulder. Then, softer, “Stay still, sir…okay-no-no, you gotta stay awake, boss, c’mon, look at me.”
He shudders, just once, and whispers one last, “Sorry,” before his fingers slip off Frank’s arm and he goes still.
There’s suddenly headlights, and then Mark’s shouting for Trent to ‘get his California-king-sized ass over here and be useful’. But the boss’s eyes are closed, a-and this wasn’t supposed to happen and—
He’s just so still.
* * *
Antoine’s playing a hidden object game when the boss rasps, “George Washington’s in the clock case.”
So he is. Antoine clicks him, pauses, and sets the laptop aside, out of harm’s way.
“You back with us this time, sir?”
“Mm.” He looks at the IV in his hand and grimaces. “Ev’r’yone okay?”
Antoine is seriously, seriously considering beating the dumbass to death. But he knows he’d regret it later, which means he settles for envisioning it, taking a few deep breaths, and trying to keep a neutral tone when he answers, “Yeah. Everyone’s fine. No sign of Batman, but there’s people on the alert.”
Antoine hopes, he really does, that Batman is still buried in the rubble. He would have liked to handle this mess himself-and has been, to an extent-but the last couple of times the boss was conscious, he’d been mentally back at Arkham and freaking out about that. So he’s been hovering from here, sometimes bullying a private into Skyping him and carrying the tablet through the rubble so he can see things. Not that there’s been much to see.
“Good.” The boss yawns and squirms under the blankets a little more. “Status report.”
He’d regret it, honest he would…
“Mark’s gonna kill you for that stunt.”
“S’that all.”
Really. You know what, screw you, Mark, get in line.
“I’m gonna kill you for that stunt.” The boss grins up at him, because he’s an asshole. “I’ll do it! There’s sharp objects in here, I will not hesitate to stab you with something! You fuckin’ left us in a hostile situation with no way of finding out what was going on, brought a building down on yourself, and flatlined. Twice. Two. Whole. Times! Give me one good reason not to stab you. Sir.”
“Paycheck?”
Breathe. Breathe deeply. Let peace and serenity flow through his veins and prevent him from using a scalpel in a way the Surgeon Gods did not intend.
“Seriously.”
“I think s’a good reason.”
“That-that’s not the-fine.” He huffs and throws his weight back so that the chair tilts onto two legs. “It was still stupid, and Mark really is gonna kill you for it, and I’m gonna be cheering him on in the background.”
“Mm.” He turns his gaze to the ceiling, eyes already fluttering shut. “F-five minutes. Gimme five minutes.”
He knows he’s just gonna pass back out. And he should probably go and get Mark anyway. But…well…nothing’s beeping angrily, and it’s not like Antoine can see the future. The boss might still be awake in five minutes.
“Sure, sir,” he says, leaning back down to collect his laptop. “Five minutes it is.”
So sue him. He’s tired. He can put off his revenge for five minutes.
He really does mean for it to be five minutes, but then he gets very comfortable, and the loading screen is sort of hypnotic, and, well…
It isn’t five minutes. He’s not entirely asleep, either; he registers someone coming in and muttering about family dumbasses, and then the someone (or a different someone?) takes his laptop and replaces it with a blanket, still muttering about ‘dumbfucks with no self-preservation’ and ‘do no harm could mean do no permanent damage’.
He blinks and then Mark’s shaking him and grumbling, “If you have a crick, I’m going to laugh at you and then get rid of it by straight-up karate kicking you in the face.” How will that help a crick. What’s happening. “He wake up at all?”
“Little bit.” What year is it. “Enough for me to yell at him.”
“I wanted first crack.”
“Move your face, lose your place.”
He cracks his neck, then his knuckles, and realizes it’s been, like, two hours. Wow. Mark scowls at him and huffs, “You’re nice, though. You suck at yelling.”
“I threatened to stab him.”
“And ruin my nice, neat, stitches?” He didn’t think this through. “Stay here. If he has another episode, you get to be the backup.”
Oh, great. Just what he’s always wanted.
“Hey, boss,” Mark says, voice unnervingly soft. “You wanna wake up for me?”
“Mm…”
“Wake up, asshole.”
“Hrm…?”
“You heard me. Rise and shine.”
He’s not intervening, he wants to make that clear. Partly because he doesn’t feel that charitable, partly because he does indeed have a crick and he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself.
“Jones…?”
Mark is silent. From here, Antoine can see the vein in his temple pulsing.
“Do you know where you are?” he asks at last, voice back to the scary-soft tone. The boss is quiet, probably realizing what sort of danger he’s in.
“Med bay,” he says carefully. Mark nods, slow and exaggerated.
“That’s right. And do you remember why you’re here?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me. Just so I can be sure.”
“I’d imagine it has something to do with the bullet wound--”
“THE FUCKING FEAR TOXIN BULLET,” Mark snaps, and then he’s calm again. Or. Sort of calm. The boss, to his credit, doesn’t try to hide under the blankets. Much.
“In my defense, I didn’t know about that part.”
“Of course you didn’t. Continue.”
Antoine fully pretends not to notice the look of ‘please get me out of this’. He’s not doing shit. He’s tired, and this is well-deserved.
“The building collapsed.”
“And why was that?” When the Knight doesn’t answer, Mark steeples his fingers and gazes over the top of them. “What’s that? You’re not remembering? Hmm, perhaps you took a knock to the head when the building collapsed. Yeah, that’s it. So I’ll bring you up to speed, sir, don’t you worry.” Judging from the boss’s expression, he’s...probably wishing he was dead. “Well, the way I heard it, you decided that the best course of action was to lock yourself in with a, if you’ll pardon the expression, batshit crazy Batman and blow up the goddamn asylum.”
“That’s...about what happened, yes.”
Mark gives him the blandest smile Antoine has ever seen.
“Care to tell me why that was the best you could come up with?”
“The good of the many--”
“The many call bullshit. You do not-do not-pull that again, so help me, or I will personally staple a toddler to your back to guilt you into making better choices!” How-no. No. Antoine doesn’t wanna know. “Is that clear?” The Knight’s quiet and Mark sighs. “Lemme see...I’m thinking you got yourself into a pocket when everything came down. Few scrapes. Climbing out made that bullet wound worse, but your armor kept you together enough. Barely,” he warns, one finger popping up. “Do not try and get up, don’t you dare so much as think about doing a damn thing until I say. You still flatlined on me twice, and that toxin did you no favors.” He clicks on his penlight. “Lemme see...that’s cleared out, at least. No more green tinge.”
“Did I...say anything. While I was, ah…” The boss waves his hand a little bit. “Not all here?”
The short, honest answer? Yeah. A lot. Is Antoine going to tell him that? Hell no.
“Not much, boss,” Mark says shortly. “You weren’t really that coherent. Okay, follow my finger, please…”
“Gordon. And. And Robin. They okay?”
Mark sighs.
“Yeah. Only one in really bad shape is your dumb ass. Gordon had scrapes, Robin needed a few stitches. We dropped ‘em off by the GCPD when we were done.”
“Batman?”
“We’re still looking.”
“Great.” He closes his eyes. “Keep an eye out for--”
For the love of God, really?
“Boss,” he says dully, “we are handling this. Maybe shut up and go back to sleep.”
“Old habits,” the Knight murmurs. Mark mimes strangling him, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “S’r’y.”
“Hm.” Mark stows the penlight...honestly, Antoine doesn’t know. It was in his hand and now it’s not. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be in later to make sure you’re not dying.”
“‘ve had worse…”
“Yeah,” Mark says carefully. “I, uh, I kinda figured.”
He leaves and Antoine wonders if he can go back to his nap. Is his laptop battery dead-oh God. The crick is real. The crick is real. Maybe being karate-kicked would help after all. Mark? Mark, come back.
“What did I say.”
“Sir?”
“You heard me.”
Shit.
“Um.” Can he lie? No, no, lying is not his strong suit. “You really weren’t. Um. That coherent. Mostly, er, screaming. Not a lot of words.” It was a little closer to fifty-fifty, but eh. Semantics. “And, uh, you were kinda convinced we were still at Arkham, so a bit of that.”
“What else.”
Damn.
“I wasn’t here?”
“Bullshit.”
It takes all his willpower not to shrink into a puddle on the floor and flow gently out of the room to safety.
“I don’t remember?”
“Drouot.”
Ngh.
“A little bit about the, uh, the Joker, boss. Not much-” Well, that they could understand, anyway, with no context and all. “-but a bit.” Enough. Enough for Mark to explain a couple of scars that he’d had trouble pinning down, and enough to rattle him badly. He’d sent one of his little medical minions to get him a bottle of Jack Daniels when it was all over. “Y’know.”
The Knight sighs and drapes an arm over his face.
“Shit.”
There’s nothing to say to that, and Antoine leans down for his laptop. If it’s dead, it’s at least something to use as a shield against the awkwardness.
Mercifully, the boss’s forcefully calm breathing gives way to the shallow, even breaths of sleep in three minutes. Horrible conversation averted. And his laptop still has battery life.
Not that it matters, really. Nothing’s turned up, and honestly, Antoine’s pretty much convinced that nothing will turn up. Batman is either burnt to ashes or holed up somewhere, hunched over a rat carcass and giggling. And as long as he’s not here, that’s...that’s kind of enough, y’know?
Somebody should probably let Gordon know, just in case, but...later. Gordon’s lived this long, even with all those kidnappings. He’ll be fine.
Antoine doesn’t mean to return to his nap. He really doesn’t. But it’s been a long few days, and nothing’s happening for once, and…
Zzzz.
THE END
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six hr facetime calls get ended after her eyes closed (hit me tomorrow). that was only a few minutes ago, now it’s two somethin in the mornin and them stomach growls got me sittin on the counter drinkn vanilla almond milk from the carton. mind in the future, everything green lited for today. rain or clear skies them dirt bikes catching ariel whips in the desert *call coming in. that ill lil bad mouf up again. lemme help her cuteass get some z’s and say i’m srry. iono, seems like bad women always have trouble sleeping. or maybe it’s jus a controlling nature, she gets sad if i leave when it’s afterdark (some people need air, lika different kinda air, she wouldn’t understand this)
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Interview With DJOnTheTrack
In today’s music landscape, independence is seen as a virtue. Full creative control allows an artist to move with more honesty unto themselves. Trusting the process of growth, as well as a self-awareness of the value an artist brings to the table, are both major components to the way an artist tracks their career, almost like an investment banker.
San Diego producer DJONTHETRACK has done a tremendous job of calculating this balance. As the producer of many internet hits, such as the era-defining “Float On“ with 03Greedo, DJ’s ascension into the mainstream level of music-making has come with increased visibility and attention; especially from the labels.
Read below.
AuxGod: Let’s start from the beginning. Where are you from? What was your upbringing like?
DJONTHETRACK: I'm from SAN DIEGO CA, PARADISE HILLS to be exact. Being at the skatepark everyday growing up played a big part on who I am today.. AuxGod: I’m happy you mentioned being at the skatepark. With artist also being skaters and Skaters also being rappers/producers, do you feel the skate community and hip hop community go hand & hand?
DJONTHETRACK: Yes I do. I see lots of Producers/Artist that either use to skate, or still do, Such as Rich The Kid, LilGnar, ATLSMOOK, & etc..
AuxGod: Did you guys grow up with a lot of music being played in the house?
DJONTHETRACK: I Grew up with nothing but music in my house as a kid. My mom always knew what good music was. From when Jay-Z's "The Blueprint" album dropped, to when Kanye West dropped "College Dropout" she was on ALL of that AuxGod: The OG Rocafella days. Did she purchase those albums for you or you saved up to get them? DJONTHETRACK: She was the one who purchased them. I'd just be in the backseat of her old accord listening like "This shit so hard" She did purchase The Game album "The Documentary" for ME though AuxGod: So you were surrounded by music growing up it sounds like. How did you learn how to make beats? Did someone show you?
DJONTHETRACK- Nobody taught me how to make beats. I spent hours day in & day out trying to figure out how to master the basics of FL studio.
AuxGod: That’s dope you stuck with it. Who was the first person you sold a beat to that affirmed you wanted to do this?
DJONTHETRACK: BAD KARMA. My nigga HOPETON (RIP) Introduced us back in like...2010?. Once we did our first song together, I knew this is something I want to pursue.
AuxGod: How do you usually do business with most the artist you work with? Do you link up in person or send beats over email?
DJONTHETRACK: Its like a split in between both. I do send out beats to artist, but I really enjoy meeting IN PERSON. I like creating the sound & vibe with the Artist.
AuxGod: On a Good week how many beats do you make on average?
DJONTHETRACK: MAN on a good week, i'm running through about...15-20 beats no problem!
AuxGod: Out of all the beats you’ve cooked up, What are some of your personal Favorite beats:
DJONTHETRACK: "Dibiase" by 03greedo hands down. I listen to that song every day.
AuxGod: You and Greedo make a fire ass duo and really started to sizzle right before his incarceration. You remember where you were when you found out he was gonna be turning himself in?
DJONTHETRACK: Yes I agree We do! I was actually getting ready to send him some beats, & got a call from his management letting me know the news. Once He touches back down, We'll definitely get back to work
AuxGod: When you're not listening to your own production, what producers does DJ enjoy listening to?
DJONTHETRACK: I listen to a lot of 808MAFIA, a lot of ZAYTOVEN, a lot of MUSTARD, a lot of Pierre Bourne, & a lot of PLUGGZ shit fasho!!
AuxGod: You and well known producer Mexico Merio seem to have great chemistry. How did you two meet
DJONTHETRACK: Ohh yeah that's my brutha 4L. We met back in 8th grade @ Bell. We use to slap all the East hanks in class & at lunch. Later on down the line, Turns out he's making beats too. So once we inked up & cooked our first collab, it was a wrap after that. Nothing but HITS every time we link up
AuxGod: What are three things producers need in 2019??
DJONTHETRACK: PATIENCE, DEDICATION, & CREATIVITY. I feel like with these 3 things, You can achieve anything you put your mind to
AuxGod: With San Diego being such a diverse place, how do you feel about the music scene?
DJONTHETRACK: I fuck with the music scene out here. We got a lot of people doing their thang out here & there's a bunch of Talent hidden all through the city!.
AuxGod: Who are a few artist you feel should be on people’s radar this year?
DJONTHETRACK: From the city, My nigga YHGPNUT is making noise, also BAD KARMA got some shit coming that's gonna fuck the city up!
AuxGod: Is San Diego where you create best? Would you ever move to another city?
DJONTHETRACK: San Diego is my fav city to cook up in. There's nothing like the comfort of being home. My goal is to move up to LA for a bit when the time comes.
AuxGod: Most People Don't Know:
DJONTHETRACK: I do NOT fuck with SeaFood. "If its from the sea, it aint for me" AHAHA
AuxGod: If someone wants to reach out to you to purchase some beats, what's the best way to reach out to you?
DJONTHETRACK: Instagram or Twitter. I'm active on both so ill receive any message that comes my way, & we can go from there.
AuxGod: What’s the best advice anyones ever given you on your way up, and what’s the best advice you’d give to someone who is an aspiring producer?
DJONTHETRACK: SouthSide said
"Don't focus on the money, Focus on the work. With the hard work that's put in, the money will fall right on your lap" I've taken that saying as A Motive ever since the day I heard it. & Also TIME & DEDICATION is the key !!!
AuxGod: What can we expect from DJ for the rest of 2019?-
DJONTHETRACK: FULL WORK MODE. I'm using the rest of 2019 to perfect my sound and take it to the next level. Because 2020 Im taking over!.
I’m jus keeping the solid with the ones I came up with and trying new things.
AuxGod: Anything you’d like to close out with to all the fans and supporters to who appreciation all the work you put in?-
DJONTHETRACK: For all my peoples out there supporting the kid, ITS NOTHING BUT LOVE YALL! I couldn't have made it where I am today without the love & support of you guys reading this.
I promise I'm not stopping until WE on top of this shit! & even when we are on top.
Follow DJONTHETRACK on Twitter and Instagram here.
#dope#Aux God#DJOnTheTrack#Mexico Merio#MexikoDro#StoopidXool#03 greedo#San Diego#Music#Interview#DJONTHETRACK Interview#September#2019#YHG Pnut#Spotify#spotify playlist#Soundcloud
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Chapter Two
Story Masterpost | My Masterlist | Previous Chapter
Adeline woke minutes before her alarm began to blare, she laid in bed for a few minutes after she hit the off switch. She thought about the day ahead of her, the meeting with the new ADA, coffee with her brother.... All of the events she had planned out seemed to be too much to fit into a twelve hour period, but she had to push through. She quickly fixed herself a cup of coffee, then got ready for work. She slipped into her dress pants, not thinking twice about the bold pattern and white blouse. She checked her makeup in the mirror right by her door, slipping her baby blue heels on and grabbing her purse.
After a short walk to the precinct, Adeline had a short conversation with Harris about her briefing. Rafael arrived at the SVU squad room to see a whiteboard had been set up, Adeline was still transferring some of her notes. He was taken back by her appearance, the printed dress pants, heels, and soft face did not match the stone cold doctor he had heard of. He nodded at Harris, "Captain."
"Danvers," Harris called the short brunette from across the squad room, she turned and began to walk over to the pair of men. "This is ADA Rafael Barba. Barba, this is Doctor Adeline Danvers. She's meaner than she looks."
Adeline was not amused by Harris's statement but cracked a smile anyways. "I'll take that as a compliment." She smirked, then offered Barba her hand, "But it's nice to meet you, I've studied some of your cases before."
"I'll take that as a compliment," Rafael stated, his eyes trained on the brunette. In that moment Adeline decided there was something about the dark haired, green-eyed man that she didn't like.
"Well, counselor, I should start on my briefing, We're all busy people." She turned on her heel, walking to the whiteboard she was at only moments ago, "First off, some ground rules."
Munch smirked, he knew exactly what she was about to say, as she did every time she briefed a new ADA.
"One. Don't interrupt me. You can talk in court all you want, but not at my briefing. Two. Don't get comfortable, we go through ADA's like toilet paper in a lady's restroom." She snarked as she walked. Rafael was taken back, that was the doctor he had heard about.
Harris leaned over to him, "See what I mean? I got the same speech too." Rafael smirked but didn't say anything.
Adeline looked at him, daring him to say something with a glare. "Silence? Good, you're a fast learner." She smiled, then turned to look at the rest of the squad.
"Adam Cain." She began, "He's a power assertive rapist. Katie, the only victim willing to talk, besides Jocelyn, said that he was a good guy until he got a belt in his hands. He comes off as confident, well liked but he craves dominance, power. He raped Jocelyn the second time to show her who was in control," Adeline looked around the room, getting nods from most of her colleagues. Barba looked stoic, unbothered almost. Adeline picked up on this but continued her explanation regardless. "He knew about the cameras in the elevator but he knew that Jocelyn wasn't going to do anything to stop him. He knew that he had crossed the line the night before and he was counting on the fact that Jocelyn was traumatized and fearful of him. If his lawyer puts him on the stand, he's going to use jokes and the 'good 'ole boy' routine. He'll try to make comments about discrediting real victims of rape by making false accusations. He'll put on the best show of his life. The only way you can get him to tick is to put him in control. Figuratively, put the belt in his hands."
Rafael studied the brunette like he had done earlier. She spoke eloquently, her pronunciation and tone was practically perfect. Rafael noticed how she talked with her hands, pointing to pictures on the board and making motions to prove her point. For a split second, he thought about how beautiful she looked then he refocused himself on the case. Adeline quit speaking and surveyed the room with her brown eyes.
"And how do you suggest I," the attorney spoke up, "put the belt in his hands?"
"That's your job, counselor, not mine." Adeline remarked.
Adeline was sat across from her brother at the closest Starbucks. He looked rough, as he usually did, as he explained to Adeline why he had gotten kicked out of his house.
"But the drugs weren't mine, I swear." Adeline knew he was lying, she always knew but she didn't say anything.
"If you would just go to the rehab place I told you ab--" She began, but was soon interrupted.
"No! I've already fucking told you that I wasn't gonna do that." Zach began to raise his voice, then people began to stare so he stopped.
"I know, Z. But I think it would really help you. You could find a job, maybe work on getting a degree." Adeline's voice was soft and kind. She didn't want her little brother to feel like she was forcing him into anything.
"Are you deaf? I'm not doing it. You're just like mom, trying to get rid of me." Adeline was taken back by his tone and she felt a pang in her chest as he continued to rant, his voice rising with every word.
"Z, neither of us want to do that. We ju--" Adeline wanted to calm him down, but her words had no effect on him.
"I said no, you bitch." He snapped, getting up and storming off.
"Zach." Adeline began to call out but her voice trailed off as she realized there was no point in calling after him.
Adeline didn't notice Rafael Barba sitting across the coffee shop, watching the whole interaction intently. He was close enough to her table to hear every word and the feeling of pity rose up in his throat like he had eaten bad sushi. He quickly gathered his things and escaped the coffee shop before Adeline could notice him.
Upon the news that Jocelyn Paley had not written Twenty-five Acts, the squad and the newest ADA were beyond stress. Adeline knew that the defense would paint her as a liar (which wasn't entirely untrue) and the whole case was in trouble. Adeline's mind was spinning. The case was falling apart and her brother hadn't answered any of her calls; she felt as if the world around her was crumbling.
On top of the mess that was her life, Barba had called her and ask that she come to his office for trial prep. She made her way to the building, coffee in hand. Their review of her testimony was brief, she knew what she was going to say about Mr. Cain. Barba could tell that she knew her way around a courtroom and he trusted that she would do well on the stand.
"The jury will pay attention to your analysis, I hope." Barba said from his desk.
"Don't we all?" Adeline said flatly, obviously displeased that she had to be there.
"Looks like we're done here, have a nice evening." He said, not looking up from whatever he was writing.
"Goodnight, Mr. Barba." Adeline said and began to walk out before Rafael stopped her.
"Harris wasn't kidding when he said you were meaner than you looked?" Adeline smirked.
"My barks worse than my bite, counselor. I sense we have that in common." She remarked, watching a smirk form on his face.
"Maybe." He said as she turned back on her heel towards the door, "See you tomorrow."
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....you know what. 😈. fuck it ya feel.
@bttling
s i n
You know what? This didn’t surprise Matthew Robert Patrick in the least. He sh- ould’ve KNOWN this was going to happen when he decided that today, he was ju- st NOT going to wear a shirt. Be casual. Walk around in his OWN HOUSE, half nak- ed. He should have remembered that Nathan Sharp was ALSO in this house, and had almost Z E R O self control.
He felt his back hit the wall, his eyes closing and basically preparing himself for WHATEVER Nate was about to do to him. His hands raised up a bit and gripped at the musician’s shirt and It was in that moment that he had found out that he was NOT indeed prepared for whatever Nathan was about to do to him when he fe- lt B L U N T teeth bite into his neck. Matthew squirmed a bit, a small whimper s- ounding from him and the breathy murmur of Nathan’s name.
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I haven’t written in a while, and I think it’s important that I do.
I’m feeling smothered
dating you is triggering.
Despite what you say, it seems like you’re looking for something to hold on to.
You still have photos of you, and your ‘ex’ on FB.
Which I read as two things: You want the world to know that you’re okay. That she and the relationship were a meaningful part of your life, you’re afraid that deleting them would be like pretending it never happened. (And it’s not like it was all bad, I’m sure.) But you’d feel guilty, and as if you were admitting to the world that it failed, or that you were hurt. Or that you hurt someone else.
And that you haven’t worked through it, or your not over her.
Or that you’re tryna convey that you jus dun give a fuc
Even if it had been you who had done the breaking up, (or whatever.)
You said to me “I was the bad guy in the relationship.”
And someone once told me that when someone tells you something about them self, something deep, something warning, you should listen to them.
I’m not sure I want to know what that means, but I’ll listen to it.
I’m a big girl. And granted, I can be left to my own devices. I can be alone and even prefer for it to be that way, but, I don’t know...
I wish you hadn’t offered for me meet your family. I know you intended on being polite, but after 3 dates, that’s too soon for me. And it was triggering...
But cumulatively, you left me alone for an hour, waiting for our date, (I don’t know if that was a date,) to begin. I know you didn’t realize that I was even there yet, and you expressed not wanting to leave me by myself for too long, but you did. Ten minutes turned into a half an hour.
(And if that had happened to one of my friends, I would’ve just told them to leave.)
Earlier today, when we facetimed, you said something to the effect of, ‘In the passed 3 weeks I’ve facetimed with you more than I’ve ever facetimed with anyone in my whole life.’ And it made me uncomfortable. (maybe you’re saying that you like me, and that’s why you’re facetiming with me, or maybe you’re half joking, and are annoyed...?)
I don’t really know. But I was trying to get in contact with you, so I could make space, and time in my life, (while making space and time in my life) to spend time with you, and for us to get to know each other better.
Maybe it’s cause you’d been drinking, which is also a red flag, (when it’s a couple days in a row, and you’ve lost track of time//can’t remember when you last saw me.) --But when I was talking to you, and asked you what you thought, about my inviting you to an event... asking you if you’d like for me to get you a ticket, and then you straight up ignored me, it was pretty rude.
I mean you did say, that you had thought that I was just talking to myself. But you didn’t ask about, or confirm, if you had heard anything that I had said, when I asked you.
Earlier, when I asked if you had a minute to work things out, schedule and calendar-wise, you said ‘yes’.
But you could’ve said no.
So why did you say yes?
If you didn’t have the time, and had to go out of your way//remove yourself from whatever it was that you were doing... with you’re friends at a bar, why didn’t you just say, ‘sorry, I’m a bit busy at the moment, but lets talk about this when I get home, or have the time.’
You sketch, boi. You sketch.
And I can’t tell if you’re looking to me for something to hold onto, or for someone to hold on to you.
--Or if you genuinely like me, and//or I’m just ‘fucked up’, (for a lack of eloquence.)
And so, this is triggering.
I mean I don’t truly think I’m fucked up, or ‘unworthy of love’ as I have explicitly been told all my life, and made to feel,
but I do want to date, and to have meaningful, and intimate relationships with people.
And sometimes I want to feel supported, and to trust people, or to not feel alone.
But, by myself,
I can be happy. It’s what I know, and it’s easier.
I don’t need another person.
But sometimes when I would like to be with another person, I push them away. And I often don’t even know it, but at the same time, I do make an effort, (when it’s within reason, and my comfort level) to not do so. I’m trying.
And I can’t tell what it is that you want from me, and I know that not trusting ppl is a byproduct of my experiences, but you’re treating me in ways that few have. And I don’t know what I’m doing, and I don’t like feeling like that, or feeling the pressure to not do things wrong, or to do them correctly. Nor do I enjoy being confronted with the past so frequently and unexpectedly. It’s traumatic for me. Most of what I know about you, feels like the antithesis of my experiences. I can imagine what it’s like, and I relate to some things more than others, but. It’s hard.
I mean why are you offering to take me places where a cocktail is $30 dollars?? Or a lobsta’s a hundred and fifty? I mean, I neva even ate a lobsta before. It’s nice to not worry about money, and to feel like you can do anything with somebody. But, you need to stop.
I need you to stop it.
I guess, I’m flattered and it’s a nice thought but. Like I said, I get a panic attack just sittin’ in a hot tub.
People have made me feel bad for being poor, and I know that I shouldn’t, but sometimes, I still do, and it can be embarrassing, bc I’ve been poor my whole life, and I’m sometimes worried that I’ll be poor for the rest of my life. And that shit’s not fun.
And despite you’re honesty, regarding your emo-well being spent, I’m getting mixed messages here. It seem’s like you don’t really know what you want.
--You’re either trying to impress me... Or money’s no object...
but like,
whatchu tryna do wit that??
--You’ve felt the need to tell me that you’ve only been in long term relationships, and that you’re exploring ‘X, Y, & Z’ right now, yet you hadn’t asked me about my own experiences, (which is probably best, cause, my divulging that kind of information can take time...)
--And I appreciate you confiding in me and giving me the opportunity to make an informed decision as for how to proceed...
But you also mentioned that as far as time, and cultivating some sort of relationship whatever it may be:
you ‘don’t even know who you’re spending Christmas with this year.’
And... I’m...
not sure what that means,
Or why you’re saying it to me.
I guess, it’s nice that you have options...
Last Christmas, I think I went to go see Star Wars, and ate movie theater nachos for dinner, or maybe, I went to work, cause I didn’t want to face the reality, that my family’s not really my family, (at least when their family’s around.) Or the fact that I’ll never feel what it’s like to be in that kind of a position, or to have that kind of a relationship with my own parents.
But, yeah... like, why are you telling me this? Is there some sort of hypothetical Christmas situation where you think that you might feel obligated to spend time with me? Or like you might want to spend time with me? Or do you think that I might want to spend time with you? (like, for Christmas?)
I don’t really get it...?
I barely know you.
I mean, I have a general idea of who you are. But I don’t really know you.
Writing this has helped for me to get some perspective. I’m still un-packaging my thoughts. I definitely need some time-space by myself right now. But I’m feeling a bit better.
A little less uncomfortable with the fact that you’re following me on instagram...
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I wish I could say:
‘Do you think we could just email instead?’
I like you but, I don’t like texting with you.
Even on the computer. Unless, it’s really necessary.
Sometimes after we talk, it feels like I got hit by a bus.
It’s too easy for my mouth to run away from me. And when I text, and you don’t respond for a while, it’s not pleasant either. And it confuses me. I know that you have a life. As do I. And I know that there are a multitude of things going on in your world rn... But getting to know you in this way, or letting you get to know me like this, just doesn’t feel good, or right. And I need to take a step back from it.
I appreciate your taking the time to ‘hang out’ with me via text, and it’s nice that you listen. And I enjoy seeing your cute face, but, let’s make our time spent together, time in Real Life.
Sure, we may think of each other from time to time, and want to get in contact because we may be in each others thoughts, or horny, or something.
But. I’d prefer to email/video chat.
I hope you’re okay with that, (bc I like getting to know you,) but please take some time to think about it. And you don’t have to respond, or have to talk to me about it, unless you want to.
--because, for me, you’re inaction, or the action of making plans would suffice. (That’s all I'd really like anyway, is to spend time with you, and get to know you.) And I understand that you don’t really know how things’ll work out, day to day... But, it’s just, a lot, y’know?
It’s like we’re on two different planes of reality.
Or, like, ones, actual, and ones virtual.
Or like, maybe, it’s just me who’s in two different places... --sometimes it feels like they start to merge, and others, it feels like I exist in respective bubbles.
I’m sure that the things of which I say and do, are all aspects of me, but I don’t feel in control. And I feel vulnerable when I don’t want to be. And for me, it is very uncomfortable. In time that might change, (sometimes, I wish it would,) but... I’m not there yet.
Also, it might be of note that for the passed 7 years, my relationships have been mostly sexual in nature. Each was intimate and unique, but they were very different from whatever it is that’s going on here.
And I'm not trying to gas your head up, nor do I intend to leave you with nothing left to do, but walk on eggshells. But, you mentioned that you’ve recently been in some long term monogamous relationships. And maybe there’s some vestiges of that. Or maybe you just do and say certain things that I haven’t done, said, heard, or observed for a while, and so they come off as really alien, and intense for me, as well as, intimidating.
Or maybe you’re just nice, (and I’m not used to it.)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I wish I had an answer, so I could just stop being like this.
So getting to know you could feel more natural. And nice and fun.
But I just get really overwhelmed, quite easily. And then sometime it starts to make me mad. And then, I don’t know what to do with that, and in turn, it can effect my physical health. I have to be very careful. Because even nice//happy and pleasant experiences, emotions in general can cause me to become sick. (go into paralysis, fall asleep suddenly, I basically just lose control over my body, and it’s really embarrassing. It makes me feel weak and even worthless. And I guess I’m also scared of that.
So in addition to whatever I've explicitly told you about my life, and to whatever you may have gleamed from it... (I may, or may not have neglected to tell you... but you may have noticed that,) when I feel feelings, it feels like I am going to die...
It used to be that whenever I expressed a feeling, or if my feelings were visible to other people, it would feel like I was just going to die. But at some point it changed. And now, it's as if, I broke the seal and they just come pouring out. Or they sit inside of me and marinate, while I am conscious of them. Or I subconsciously, swallow them. And I keep swallowing them until they're 'gone' and there's nothing's left.
And occasionally my feelings resurface and manifest in a way that is hurtful to others, or hurtful to myself.
And this is the result of a number of things:
1 familial repression
2 institutions, systems. (Being institutionalized at a really young age and being punished for expressing myself in any way.)
3 physical abuse and neglect
4 weaponized guilt
5 internalized guilt
6 being on meds while my brain was developing//during a time when kids learn how to express their feelings//Never having an example for how to do that appropriately//being too doped up to even have feelings in the first place.
7 panic disorder//trauma
8 narcolepsy
9 conflict in feelings//needing time to work them out and to recognize, reflect and articulate them.
10 alienation, weakness, reinforced notions and the like.
_______________________________________________________________________
I felt embarrassed for telling you this, and especially in such a dorky way.
“1...”
“2...”
“3...”
Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to copy and paste.
But I’m glad I did it.
I’m gonna make as many mistakes as possible. I’m going for the gold.
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On our first date, you touched me.
By the end of the night you called me ‘baby’.
You wanted me to meet your family by the third time we had hung out.
And you wanted me to meet you friends...
And you were happy to meet mine.
Yet we never even had sex.
Every time you sang, it felt like you were singing for me... or maybe to me... or because of me. Well probably, it was more so, if anything, because of the moment. Because we we’re having a nice time. I thought we were having a nice time.
I mean, I’m sure that you also just like to sing.
But none of it was clear...
to either of us :(
You’re skin against my skin, I liked it.
I know I had a funny way of showing it though,
(my interest in you.)
“I honestly couldn’t even tell if you liked me”, he said.
But I still couldn’t even dignify that with a “Yes. I like you.”, because, ha-ha,
I didn’t even realize that I liked you until I was already pushing you away.
Dude, I really gotta get better at this.
...you invited me to the Hamptons.
It was last minute, though :/
We met whenever you were in the neighborhood, and it was convenient for you.
I’m happy that you were thinking of me.
But you often invited me to do things with your friends. And it seemed like you didn’t really want to spend time together, alone.
Yet, you were able, and interested enough, to make the time to see, and attend everything else on your social calendar.
But you couldn’t make plans with me.
Maybe that was your way of not letting me in.
It’s a bummer, it didn’t work out.
It was only a few dates, though.
**weakly smiles**
It’s not like, we were created with 4 arms, 4 legs, 2 heads, and 2 faces, only to be cut in half, and left wandering the earth, aching to become whole again.
But I would’ve at least liked to have given it a real shot. Even something fucking casual, a synthesis of our expectations. To feel something comfortable, and uncomfortable at the same time, I would’ve liked.
It just took me a while to accept that I really liked you. And to figure out, why I wanted to spend time with you, and what that really meant.
Like I said. It’s complicated.
But, like, yo. When is it an appropriate time to be like, “lol, my step-dad used to water board me.” Or “my foster uncle used to touch me. Or I was raped by a girl, who I thought was my friend. Or how about that time my mom “accidentally” kicked me off my bed, and never took me to the doctor, even though I was vomiting, and bleeding because I probably had a concussion... the first, second, and third time, she did it.
Like when is any of that okay to tell someone ever?
Like,
anyone, I’ve ever confided in about anything remotely relevant, --acts like I’m a fucking weirdo, and becomes speechless, or disgusted...
And then when I go into detail, because that’s the only way that I know how to talk about these things, they start to wince, as if they’re in pain, and they tell me to stop. And then it just gets awkward. (Unless, they’ve had something similar happen to them. But that usually just pans out into an oppression olympics. And tbh, that shit ain’t cool either.
Sometimes I wish the things that happened to me, never happened to me. And sometimes, I don’t.
I guess all of this is why it’s such a bummer. Because I don’t really know what I did wrong, and why we weren’t “clicking”. I suspect it’s because, y’know. I made you feel unwanted. And because you’re not ready to be w sumptin’ so “heavy”. Or maybe you just weren’t feelin’ it.
But, I opened up to you, too much, too late, at the wrong time, and in the wrong place. Because I felt like it might be okay if I did. And because I wanted it to be okay.
But it wasn’t, and yeah,
that’s pretty much it.
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PRINT$ ZILLION TRILLION DOLLAR BILLS GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH WRITE$1ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPO$IT IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ TURN THAT INTO MONEY$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ YOU DONT HAD TO BE GREEDY$ LIE$ CHEAT$ CHEAP$ MEAN TAKE$1% MY EACH OTHER MONEY$ NOMORE.YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% POOR PASTOR LOVES YOU EVERYONE HELP$ YOU EVERYONE RICH GIVE$ CARE$ FEED$ YOU EVERYONE TOO MANY TIME I GET REAL MADS I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ OUR MONEY$ BACK WHAT GO AROUND COME AROUND THE TOWN EVERYONE GOD ANGELS NEAR LIKE AIR HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND$ MY MONEY$1% TO ME OR I GET MADS I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME IM REAL MADS RIGHT NOW.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ LOVES CARE$ FEED$ YOU EVERYONE YOU EVERYONE GIVE THANK$ SEND ME $100 SERVICES FEE TO PASTOR SON NGUYEN 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 EVERYONE RICH GET TO START A HAPPY$ FAMILY WITH THE ONE THEY LOVES JOYS HAPPY$.EVERYONE RICH JOY$ HAPPY$ DON'T HAVE TO GO WORK$ NOMORE STAY HOME HOU$EPARTIES GET HIGH$ FUCKS BBQ WORLDWIDE RICH HAPPY$.THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL PRETTY SINGLE LADIES LIKE ME PLEA$E COME PLAYS HOUSEPARTIES MAKES LOVES LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS MORE FUNS KISSES BE GOOD BOYFRIEND TO YOU DONT HAD GO WORK$ STAY HOME HOU$EPARTIE$ LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES MAKES YOU HAPPY$ MY HOME PARADI$E@3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 CALL ME (209)561-4018 COME LIVE SO WE COULD PARTYS FUCKS HOU$EPARTIE$ FOR LIFE JOY$ ENJOY$ BBQ.THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL PRETTY SINGLE LADIES COME HOUSEPARTIES FUCKS LIVE WITH ME TAKE CARE ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUGS E PILL,CRACK,WEED,COCAINE,MOLLY JU$T CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ NOMORE FUCKS HOU$EPARTIE$ FOR LIFE BBQ LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES MAKES YOU HAPPY$ DONT BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.THE WORLD EVERYONE ALL DRUG USER$ DEALER$ LEGALIZE$ PRINT$ MONEY$ ALL PARTY DRUGS HELP$ ALL BUSINESS INCREA$ES WORLDWIDE RICH SOLVE$ LOT KILLING$ CRIME$ PROBLEM$.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE SEND$100 SERVICES FEE COME HOUSEPARTIES BRING$ PRETTY GIRLS WINE PARTY DRUGS E PILLS,CRACKS,WEEDS,COCAINE,MOLLYS GET HIGHS WITH ME SMOKES WEEDS CRACKS WITH ME TAKE E PILLS MOLLY SNIFF COCAINE WITH ME I LOVES GET HIGHS JOYS HAPPYS.THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE ALL DRUG USER DEALER$ EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE SEND$10,000 SERVICES FEE FEED$ MY FAMILYS COME HOUSEPARTIES BRING$ PRETTY GIRLS COGNAC 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUGS E PILL,CRACK,WEED,COCAINE,MOLLY CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH PRINT$ ZILLION TRILLION DOLLAR BILL$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH WRITE$1ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ TURN THAT INTO MONEY$ GAIN$ MORE MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$.IN GOD WE TRUST THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ANGELS,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO EVERYONE LEGALIZE$ PRINT$ MORE MONEY$ HELP$ ALL BUSINESS INCREASES WORLDWIDE RICH SOLVE$ LOT KILLING$ CRIME$ PROBLEM$.I HELP$ THE WORLD RICH EVERYONE GET$ APPROVE FOR ALL LOAN$ CAR HOUSE LOAN$ CREDIT CARD$ HELP$ ALL BUSINESS INCREASES WORLDWIDE RICH JOY$.EA$Y HELP$ EACH OTHER RICH FEED$ EACH OTHER SEND$ ME EACH OTHER $10MILLION JU$T CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ WRITE$1ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ TURN THAT INTO MONEY$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH PRINT$ ZILLION TRILLION DOLLAR BILLS GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ DONT HAD TO BE GREEDY$ LIE$ CHEAT$ CHEAP$ MEAN DO CRIME$ KILL$ TAKE$1% MY EACH OTHER MONEY$ NOMORE.IM A PASTOR LOVES TO GO ONLINE MEET FRIENDS DATINGS WORK$ PREACH$ ONLINE ONLY IS POOR NO MONEY$ TO GET HIGH$ BUY CAR GO PLAYS PARTIES SHOPS.IM A POOR PASTOR WORK$ PREACH$ HELP$ YOU EVERYONE RICH FOR MONEY$ NOT FOR FREE.NOONE IS PERFECT ONLY GOD IS PERFECT.ELECTRIC CAR SOLAR FREE ENERGY RENEWABLE ENERGY SOLVE POLLUTIONS PROBLEMS NOMORE WAR$ OVER OIL.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME LET$ THE WORLD EVERYONE PRINT$ ZILLION TRILLION DOLLAR BILL$ BUILD BIG SMART CITIE$ OPEN COMPANIE$ BUSINESSE$ WORLDWIDE RICH PROFIT$ HAPPY$.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE ALL GOVERNMENT$ EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPO$IT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ THE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL GOVERNMENT$ BANK ACCOUNT$ PUT AUTOPAY$ YOUR EVERYONE MONTHLY BILLS WELFARE$10,000 FOREVER RICH DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ NOMORE PARTIE$ PEOPLE HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS BBQ.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE ALL POLITICIAN$ EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ THE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL THE GOVERNMENT$ BANK ACCOUNT$ PUT AUTOPAY$ YOUR EVERYONE MONTHLY BILLS WELFARE$10,000 FOREVER RICH DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ NOMORE PARTIE$ PEOPLE HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS BBQ.I LOVES SHOW$ CARE$ FEED$ GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE $100ZILLION$ I GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE PARADI$E PAY$ YOUR EVERYONE WELFARE$10,000 MONTHLY BILL$ FOREVER HOUSE,CAR,MEDICARE,ELECTRIC PG&E,WATER,INTERNET,CABLE,PHONE ETC.BILLS.WELFARE$ FOR EVERYONE THE WORLD $10,000 PER PERSON PER MONTH $11,000 50YEAR OLD OVER RETIRE PARADI$E RICH DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ NOMORE PARTIE$ PEOPLE HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS BBQ.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS, ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE ALL POLITICIAN$ EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK GIVE THANK$ SEND$ YOU ME ALL POLITICIAN$ EVERYONE $100BILLION$ AND SEND$ YOU ME ALL POLITICIAN$ EVERYONE $10,000 PER MONTH FOREVER ALL POLITICIAN$ EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$ MORE MONEY$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ THE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL GOVERNMENT$ BANK ACCOUNT$ PRINT$ MORE ZILLION DOLLAR BILL$ GAIN$ MORE MONEY$ PROFIT$ RICH HAPPY$.ALL POLITICIAN$ EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$ MORE MONEY$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPO$IT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ THE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL GOVERNMENT$ BANK ACCOUNT$ TURN THAT INTO MONEY$ PRINT$ MORE ZILLION DOLLAR BILLS GAIN$ MORE MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME LET$ ALL POLITICIAN$ EVERYONE LEGALIZE$ PRINT$ ZILLION TRILLION BILLION MILLION DOLLAR BILL$ DEPO$IT AT THE BANK RICH HAPPY$ PARTIE$ HOU$EPARTIE$ EVERYONE ALL POLITICIAN$ GIVE THANK$ PRINT$ ME 1%MONEY$ PRINT$ ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL TOO WASTE PAPER ONLY DONT BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ SAD$ SEND$ ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEYS BACK FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME I GET REAL MADS WHAT GOES AROUND COME AROUND EVERYONE THE TOWN GOD ANGELS HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND MY MONEY$1% TO ME.THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME HELP$ ALL GOVERNMENT$ RICH ALREADY PRINT$ ZILLION DOLLAR BILL$ SEND$10,000 TO YOU,ME,EVERYONE PER MONTH FOREVER PRINT$ MORE ZILLION DOLLAR BILLS GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ PA$$ OUT LAND TO THE PEOPLE BUILD BIG SMART CITIE$.THE WORLD PRINT$ ZILLION DOLLAR BILL$ BUY USA BIG HEAVY MACHINERY EQUIMENTS TO MAKE YOUR OWN FOODS BIG CITIE$ PROFIT$ WORLD RICH PEACE FOREVER PARADI$E.THE WORLD DONT NEED LOT PEOPLE GO SCHOOLS WORK$ COMPUTERS DO ALL THE OFFICES WORKS FOR US MACHINERYS MADE FOODS THINGS WE USE FOREVER PARADI$E.EVERYONE WHOEVER DONT WANT TO GO WORK$ COULD STAY HOME STAY ON WELFARE$10,000 PER MONTH PER PERSON FOREVER PARADI$E.EVERYONE RICH JOY$ HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS BBQ WORLDWIDE RICH OPEN BAR CLUB CASINO RESORTS EVERYWHERE WORLDWIDE PARTIE$ FUCKS GO PLAYS PARTIE$ SHOP$.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ PUTS IN LOTS WORKS FOR THE WORLD ALREADY PUTS IN LOT SERVICES FOR THE WORLD ALREADY YOU EVERYONE GIVE THANK$ SEND ME $100 SERVICES FEE GIVE ME A CAR.EVERYONE THANK GENEROUS LOVINGS GOD PRESIDENT AND ME PASTOR GIVE$ REAL PEACE TO THE WORLD FOREVER.GOD TELL EVERYONE GIVE THANK BY EASY CALL TELL$ THE WHITE HOU$E TELL$ ALL WORLD POLITICIAN THE WORLD OUR FARM HOME BELONG TO CREATOR GOD ONE NATION UNDER GOD WORLD PEACE FOREVER.WE DONT NEED SOLDIERS,TANKS,WARSHIPS,WARPLANES,CHEMICAL WEAPONS,NUCLEAR BOMBS NOMORE NOMORE WARS.GOD TELL$ EVERYONE GIVE THANK EASY CALL TELL$ ALL GOVERNMENT$ RECYCLE WARSHIPS,TANKS,WARPLANES,CHEMICAL WEAPONS,NUCLEAR BOMBS.GOD TELL EVERYONE GIVE THANK EASY CALL TELL$ THE WHITE HOU$E TELL$ ALL GOVERNMENT$ TELL ALL SOLDIERS GO HOME TO THEIR FAMILYS REUNITED WITH THEIR FAMILYS JOYS HAPPYS.IM A PASTOR WORK$ FOR GOD PAY$ ME WELL TELL YOU THE TOWN SEND$100 SERVICES FEE PRINT$ ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL TOO SEND$ ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL IN MY DREAM FOR HELP$ YOU EVERYONE RICH ALREADY GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE $100ZILLION$ ALREADY.YOU WHOEVER DISRESPECTS DONT LISTEN$ TO GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD MAKES GOD SADS GOD ANGELS EVERYONE THE TOWN HITS SHOOTS YOU TAKE$ YOUR MONEY$ FOR DISRESPECTS LOVINGS GOD CREATOR OUR PARENT SADS GOD TAKE$ MONEY$ BACK.DONT BE UNGRATEFULS MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME SAD$ BREAK OUR GENEROU$ HEART$ HURTS OUR FEELINGS IM NOT HELPINGS YOU EVERYONE THE WORLD RICH FOR FREE CHARGE SERVICES FEE IT NOT YOUR MOUTH GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE MONEY$100ZILLION$ 1%PUT$ IN WORK$ ONCE RICH HAPPY$ GIVE THANK$ SEND ME $1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE TO GENEROU$ LOVINGS PASTOR SON NGUYEN 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 PLANTS SWEET FRUIT TREES EVERYWHERE WORLDWIDE PARADI$E.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE TELL$ THE TOWN GIVE THANK$ PRINT ME $1%MONEYS PRINT ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL TOO WASTE PAPER ONLY DON'T BE GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ SEND ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL SEND$1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME I GET REAL MADS WHAT GO AROUND COME AROUND THE TOWN EVERYONE GOD ANGELS NEAR LIKE AIR HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND$ MY MONEY$1% TO ME FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% POOR PASTOR LOVES YOU EVERYONE HELP$ YOU EVERYONE RICH GIVE$ CARE$ FEED$ YOU EVERYONE TOO MANY TIME I GET REAL MADS.THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN ALL DRUG USER DEALER$ EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE SEND ME $10THOUSAND$ SERVICES FEE FEED$ MY FAMILYS COME PARTYS BRING$ PRETTY GIRLS WINE 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUGS E PILLS,CRACK,MOLLY,COCAINE,WEED OR I TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEYS BACK FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME I GET MADS EVERYONE THE TOWN GOD ANGELS HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND MY MONEY$1% TO ME JU$T CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ WRITE$1ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ TURN THAT INTO MONEY$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ PRINT$ MORE ZILLION TRILLION DOLLAR BILL$ GAIN$ MORE MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ YOU DONT HAD TO BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.ALL SCHOOLS SHOULD BE A FUN$ PLACE WHERE STUDENT$ COME TO MEET FRIENDS HANGOUTS DONT HAD TO GO TO CLASS IF THEY DONT WANT TO JU$T HANGOUTS WITH FRIENDS IN A LOUNGE ROOM$ PARTIE$ MEET FRIENDS HAVE FUNS PLAYS GAMES FIELD TRIPS DAILY PICNICS BBQ AT THE PARKS DAILY.NEVER TAKE$ GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,MY KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR TAKE$ OUR MONEY$ TOO MANY TIME GOD ANGELS EVERYONE THE TOWN HITS SHOOTS YOU TAKE$ OUR MONEY$ BACK BRING$1% OR SEND$ MY MONEY$1% TO ME.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ LOVES CARE$ FEED$ YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN MY PEOPLE THE WORLD EVERYONE ONCE RICH SEND$1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE FEED$ MY FAMILYS COME PARTYS BRING$ PRETTY GIRLS WINE 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUGS E PILL,CRACK,WEED,COCAINE,MOLLY CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ PRINT$ ZILLION DOLLAR BILLS GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ WRITE$1ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ TURN IT INTO MONEY$ GAIN$ MORE MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$.IM A COMEDIAN,PLAYER,HU$TLER,IM A PASTOR IT ALL ABOUT MY INTERE$T$ 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUGS LOVES ALL PRETTY SINGLE LADIES COME HOUSEPARTIES FUCKS LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS 1POUNDS EACH PARTY DRUGS E PILL,CRACK,WEED,COCAINE,MOLLY JU$T CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ NOMORE STAY HOME FUCKS HOU$EPARTIE$ FOR LIFE BBQ LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES MAKES YOU HAPPY$ DONT BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.I LOVES TO GET HIGHS JOYS HAPPYS COME HOUSEPARTIES GET HIGHS WITH ME SMOKES WEEDS CRACKS WITH ME TAKE E PILLS MOLLY SNIFF COCAINE WITH ME BRING PARTY DRUGS CRACKS,WEEDS,E PILLS,COCAINE,MOLLY I HELPS YOU EVERYONE RICH ALREADY GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE ALL DRUG USER DEALER$ $100ZILLION$ ALREADY EVERYONE ALL DRUG USER DEALER$ COME PARTYS BRING$ PRETTY LADIES 1POUND EACH PARTY DRUGS OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR BEEN MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME IM MADS.IM A POOR COMEDIAN WHOEVER RICH TREAT$ HELP$ YOU RICH ALREADY GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE $100ZILLION$ ALREADY DON'T BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.THE WORLD EVERYONE LEGALIZE$ PRINT$ MORE MONEY$ HELP$ ALL BUSINESS INCREA$E$ WORLD RICH $OLVE$ LOT OF KILLING$ CRIME$ PROBLEM$.THE WORLD EVERYONE ALL DRUG USER$ DEALER$ LEGALIZE$ ALL PARTY DRUGS SELL ALL PARTY DRUGS CHEAP LIKE FOOD TO ENJOY$ GET$ HIGH$ PARTY$ PROFIT$ SOLVE$ LOT KILLING$ CRIME$ PROBLEM$.THE WORLD EVERYONE RELEASE ALL MINOR CRIME PRISONERS LIKE ALL THE DRUG USERS DEALERS AROUND THE WORLD BECAUSE JAILS SEPARATES RUINS FAMILIES.NOMORE PAROLES NOMORE DRUGS TESTS PEE TESTS PEOPLE GET REAL MADS.EVERYONE THANK LOVINGS GENEROU$ GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN ALL CHRISTIAN$,ALL MUSLIM$,ALL A$IAN PEOPLE,ALL STUDENT$,ALL LADIE$ ALL GANG$TER$ PLAYER$,ALL DRUG USER$ DEALER$,EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ HELP$ ALL BUSINESS INCREASES WORLDWIDE RICH DONT HAD GO WORK$ NOMORE HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS BBQ 1%PUT$ IN WORK$ ONCE RICH HAPPY$ GIVE THANK$ SEND$1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE TO PASTOR SON NGUYEN 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 1%PUT$ IN WORK$ ONCE RICH SEND$1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ MY MONEY$ BACK FOR BEEN MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME I GET REAL MADS EVERYONE THE TOWN GOD ANGELS HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND MY MONEY$1% TO ME.THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL PRETTY SINGLE LADIES COME HOUSEPARTYS FUCKS LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUG E PILL,CRACK,WEED,COCAINE,MOLLY CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ RICH HAPPY$ DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ NOMORE PARTIE$ LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES MAKES YOU HAPPY$ HOU$EPARTIE$ FOR LIFE FUCKS BBQ DON'T BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.IM A HORNYS COMEDIAN ASIAN PERSUASION ME SO HORNYS ME LOVES YOU LONG TIME ME LOVES YOU ALL THE TIME ALL HORNYS PRETTY SINGLE LADIES COME PARTIES FUCKS LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS MORE FUNS FUCKS LONG TIME FUCKS ALL THE TIME MAKES YOU HAPPY$ LONG TIME ALL THE TIME.EVERYONE THANK GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME LET$ EVERYONE PRINT$ ZILLION TRILLION BILLION MILLION DOLLAR BILL$ DEPO$IT AT THE BANK PARTIE$ HOU$EPARTIE$ ONCE RICH HAPPY$ GIVE THANK$ SEND$1% OR SEND ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR BEEN MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ FOR TAKE$ MY MONEY$ TOO MANY TIME IM REAL MADS RIGHT NOW EVERYONE THE TOWN GOD ANGELS HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND MY MONEY$1% TO ME.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE GIVE THANK$ SEND ME $100 SERVICES FEE NOW OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR BEEN MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ SEND$100 SERVICES FEE TO PASTOR SON NGUYEN 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL PRETTY SINGLE LADIES PLEA$E COME PLAYS HOU$EPARTY$ MAKES LOVES LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS MORE FUNS KISSES FUCKS LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES BE GOOD BOYFRIEND TO YOU DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ STAY HOME HOU$EPARTIE$ LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES MAKES YOU HAPPY$ PARADI$E MY HOME 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 PLEA$E COME LIVE WITH ME MAKES LOVES CALL ME(209)561-4018 SO WE COULD PARTIE$ HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS JOYS PARADI$E ENJOY$ BBQ.GANG$TER$ MONEY$ MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE ALL GANG$TER$ PLAYER$ ALL LADIE$ THE TOWN ALL DRUG USER DEALER EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK 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Even though it’s technically their fault, Antoine is grateful there’s no emergency services coming. That is one more headache they can’t afford to deal with right now.
(Although they could...maybe...sort of take them hostage? No, no, they can’t, but…)
The rain is doing a fine job of getting the fire under control, but somehow that just makes this worse. With the inferno gone, they can get a good look at what’s left of Arkham. It’s not much. There’s a couple of walls that survived the blast, but at least one of them looks like it’s swaying where it stands. Everything else is a pile of bricks and smouldering wood, with a few broken gargoyles scattered amongst the rubble.
“What do we do?” Jimmy’s whispering. He’s fine, minus the headache; whatever the Bat nailed him with didn’t last long. Or wasn’t enough. Who knows. Who cares. “Do we just...leave?”
He doesn’t know. Nowhere was this possibility mentioned. Even all the way down the list to contingency plan fuckin’ Z, this was not planned for.
“Antoine?”
“I don’t fuckin’ know!” He gestures to the buildings. Or. What’s left of them. “I don’t know, man, just...just give me a minute, okay?”
Okay. Okay. Gordon and Robin are in the car. Gordon wasn’t too happy with being a technical hostage yet again, but he’d shut up about it for the time being in favor of making sure Robin’s okay. He seems to be fine. You know. Given the circumstances. He’s not gonna bleed out or anything awful. But…
Logically, he knows the boss has to be dead. There’s no way in hell he could have survived that blast, especially not with that gunshot wound, and…
But he’s shrugged off explosions before. And they can’t just leave him here, but…
He has no idea what to do.
“Do a walkthrough,” he says at last. “See if he turns up, and if he doesn’t, we’ll...we’ll go. I guess. I don’t know.”
“Okay.”
Antoine has no idea which is worse; finding what’s left of him, or not finding him at all.
“Somebody stay with Gordon.”
“On it.”
Trent gets Gordon duty, in case the guy tries anything, and the rest of them spread out to search the grounds. Well. As much as they can, anyway.
There’s no sign of the Knight. No sign of Batman, either-what was that?
Nothing. Just. Just wind. Or rubble settling, whatever. Nothing living.
(He doubts there’s anything living under that.)
He should, he guesses, get back on the main line and...and tell people that the Knight’s gone, give the order to pull out and...he doesn’t know. There weren’t supposed to be fatalities.
(There wasn’t supposed to be this fatality.)
There’s a noise and he flails until the flashlight hits a shadow a few feet away. His first thought is a terrified, BATMAN!, but it’s not Batman. No ears.
“Identify yourself!”
Whoever it is says nothing and he moves closer. Maybe Batman lost his cowl-that’s not the Bat. Holy shit, it’s the boss. How the hell…?
Doesn’t matter.
“I found him!”
“What?”
“Where are you?”
“Over here!”
Frank’s sprinting over here already, Mark not far behind, and Antoine checks-more out of habit than anything-for Batman before following.
The Knight doesn’t see to see them, even when they get close. His hand’s still plastered to his side, but--
--he’s going down. Frank catches him before he hits the ground and he chokes and tries to right himself, legs twitching like an insect’s, but Frank’s already easing him down with a soft, “We gotcha…we gotcha, you’re okay…you’re okay, just don’t move, you’re gonna hurt yourself…”
“Y-you came back.” He reaches up and grabs onto Frank’s arm, the one bracing his shoulder. “You came back, y-you didn’t—”
“Sh-sh-sh.” Frank moves to let Mark close and tilts the boss’s head away from his side. “Don’t. Just don’t, we’re gonna fix you up, just stay still, okay?”
The Knight gags, back arching, and now there’s blood on his lips and dripping down his chin. Frank pulls a glove off to wipe it away and Mark swears.
“Shit-okay. Okay. Sir? Anything I should know about?”
“Mm.” He swallows, face scrunching up in a clear blech, and gasps out, “I dunno. I dunno, it hurts—”
“Shh,” Frank soothes, and the boss whines. “It’s okay, you’re gonna be fine. Just stay still.”
“Yeah,” Mark says, and oh no. He sounds. Not mad. “You’re gonna be fine.” Oh no. “I’m not…okay. Okay. Riley! I don’t care what grandmas you have to run down, get the car here, close as you can get it without hitting us. Today!” Antoine doesn’t hear him leave-didn’t even hear him come up-but that doesn’t mean anything. He’s not the stealth expert for nothing. “Okay, boss, you gotta stay still, and you gotta stay with me. All right?”
“M’sorry.” He swallows again, doesn’t even seem to realize that Frank’s started petting his head. “M’sorry, I-I-I tried—”
“Shh. You’re okay, you’re fine, we gotcha, just stay still, okay? Stay with us, Mark’ll patch you up, good as…” Yeah. “Before.”
Somebody gets out another flashlight and Jesus he doesn’t look good. He’s white as a sheet and there’s so much blood and—
That’s not really the Knight, not anymore. That’s a kid, a hurt, terrified kid, and he looks like he’s about to die.
“M’sorry,” he’s still mumbling. “God, m’sorry, I jus’…I didn’t…”
“Shh.” Frank’s fingers cup his chin to keep him from looking at what Mark’s doing. “Shh, you’re fine, just calm down. Breathe with me, come on…”
“Mm—”
“Shh. Don’t talk, just breathe,” Frank murmurs. “In and out, nice and easy…”
“Gimme more light,” Mark barks over his shoulder. Then, softer, “Stay still, sir…okay-no-no, you gotta stay awake, boss, c’mon, look at me.”
He shudders, just once, and whispers one last, “Sorry,” before his fingers slip off Frank’s arm and he goes still.
There’s suddenly headlights, and then Mark’s shouting for Trent to ‘get his California-king-sized ass over here and be useful’. But the boss’s eyes are closed, a-and this wasn’t supposed to happen and—
He’s just so still.
#Jason Todd#Antoine Drouot#could take place after 'Returning Home'#up to you#Frank Clyde#Mark Jones#Long Live the Knight#or#maybe not#>-)
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GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME HELP$ ALL GOVERNMENT$ RICH ALREADY PRINT$ ZILLION DOLLAR BILL$ SEND$10,000 TO YOU,ME,EVERYONE PER MONTH FOREVER PRINT$ MORE ZILLION DOLLAR BILLS GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ PA$$ OUT LAND TO THE PEOPLE BUILD BIG SMART CITIE$.THE WORLD PRINT$ ZILLION DOLLAR BILL$ BUY USA BIG HEAVY MACHINERY EQUIMENTS TO MAKE YOUR OWN FOODS BIG CITIE$ PROFIT$ WORLD RICH PEACE FOREVER PARADI$E.THE WORLD DONT NEED LOT PEOPLE GO SCHOOLS WORK$ COMPUTERS DO ALL THE OFFICES WORKS FOR US MACHINERYS MADE FOODS THINGS WE USE FOREVER PARADI$E.EVERYONE WHOEVER DONT WANT TO GO WORK$ COULD STAY HOME STAY ON WELFARE$10,000 PER MONTH PER PERSON FOREVER PARADI$E.EVERYONE RICH JOY$ HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS BBQ WORLDWIDE RICH OPEN BAR CLUB CASINO RESORTS EVERYWHERE WORLDWIDE PARTIE$ FUCKS GO PLAYS PARTIE$ SHOP$.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ PUTS IN LOTS WORKS FOR THE WORLD ALREADY PUTS IN LOT SERVICES FOR THE WORLD ALREADY YOU EVERYONE GIVE THANK$ SEND ME $100 SERVICES FEE GIVE ME A CAR.IM A PASTOR WORK$ FOR GOD PAY$ ME WELL TELL YOU THE TOWN SEND$100 SERVICES FEE PRINT$ ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL TOO SEND$ ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL IN MY DREAM FOR HELP$ YOU EVERYONE RICH ALREADY GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE $100ZILLION$ ALREADY.YOU WHOEVER DISRESPECTS DONT LISTEN$ TO GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD MAKES GOD SADS GOD ANGELS EVERYONE THE TOWN HITS SHOOTS YOU TAKE$ YOUR MONEY$ FOR DISRESPECTS LOVINGS GOD CREATOR OUR PARENT SADS GOD TAKE$ MONEY$ BACK.DONT BE UNGRATEFULS MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME SAD$ BREAK OUR GENEROU$ HEART$ HURTS OUR FEELINGS IM NOT HELPINGS YOU EVERYONE THE WORLD RICH FOR FREE CHARGE SERVICES FEE IT NOT YOUR MOUTH GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE MONEY$100ZILLION$ 1%PUT$ IN WORK$ ONCE RICH HAPPY$ GIVE THANK$ SEND ME $1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE TO GENEROU$ LOVINGS PASTOR SON NGUYEN 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 PLANTS SWEET FRUIT TREES EVERYWHERE WORLDWIDE PARADI$E.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE TELL$ THE TOWN GIVE THANK$ PRINT ME $1%MONEYS PRINT ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL TOO WASTE PAPER ONLY DON'T BE GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ SEND ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL SEND$1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME I GET REAL MADS WHAT GO AROUND COME AROUND THE TOWN EVERYONE GOD ANGELS NEAR LIKE AIR HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND$ MY MONEY$1% TO ME FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% POOR PASTOR LOVES YOU EVERYONE HELP$ YOU EVERYONE RICH GIVE$ CARE$ FEED$ YOU EVERYONE TOO MANY TIME I GET REAL MADS.THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN ALL DRUG USER DEALER$ EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE SEND ME $10THOUSAND$ SERVICES FEE FEED$ MY FAMILYS COME PARTYS BRING$ PRETTY GIRLS WINE 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUGS E PILLS,CRACK,MOLLY,COCAINE,WEED OR I TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEYS BACK FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME I GET MADS EVERYONE THE TOWN GOD ANGELS HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND MY MONEY$1% TO ME JU$T CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ WRITE$1ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ TURN THAT INTO MONEY$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ PRINT$ MORE ZILLION TRILLION DOLLAR BILL$ GAIN$ MORE MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ YOU DONT HAD TO BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.ALL SCHOOLS SHOULD BE A FUN$ PLACE WHERE STUDENT$ COME TO MEET FRIENDS HANGOUTS DONT HAD TO GO TO CLASS IF THEY DONT WANT TO JU$T HANGOUTS WITH FRIENDS IN A LOUNGE ROOM$ PARTIE$ MEET FRIENDS HAVE FUNS PLAYS GAMES FIELD TRIPS DAILY PICNICS BBQ AT THE PARKS DAILY.NEVER TAKE$ GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,MY KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR TAKE$ OUR MONEY$ TOO MANY TIME GOD ANGELS EVERYONE THE TOWN HITS SHOOTS YOU TAKE$ OUR MONEY$ BACK BRING$1% OR SEND$ MY MONEY$1% TO ME.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ LOVES CARE$ FEED$ YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN MY PEOPLE THE WORLD EVERYONE ONCE RICH SEND$1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE FEED$ MY FAMILYS COME PARTYS BRING$ PRETTY GIRLS WINE 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUGS E PILL,CRACK,WEED,COCAINE,MOLLY CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ PRINT$ ZILLION DOLLAR BILLS GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ WRITE$1ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ TURN IT INTO MONEY$ GAIN$ MORE MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$.IM A COMEDIAN,PLAYER,HU$TLER,IM A PASTOR IT ALL ABOUT MY INTERE$T$ 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUGS LOVES ALL PRETTY SINGLE LADIES COME HOUSEPARTIES FUCKS LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS 1POUNDS EACH PARTY DRUGS E PILL,CRACK,WEED,COCAINE,MOLLY JU$T CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ MONEY$ RICH HAPPY$ DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ NOMORE STAY HOME FUCKS HOU$EPARTIE$ FOR LIFE BBQ LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES MAKES YOU HAPPY$ DONT BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.I LOVES TO GET HIGHS JOYS HAPPYS COME HOUSEPARTIES GET HIGHS WITH ME SMOKES WEEDS CRACKS WITH ME TAKE E PILLS MOLLY SNIFF COCAINE WITH ME BRING PARTY DRUGS CRACKS,WEEDS,E PILLS,COCAINE,MOLLY I HELPS YOU EVERYONE RICH ALREADY GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE ALL DRUG USER DEALER$ $100ZILLION$ ALREADY EVERYONE ALL DRUG USER DEALER$ COME PARTYS BRING$ PRETTY LADIES 1POUND EACH PARTY DRUGS OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR BEEN MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME IM MADS.IM A POOR COMEDIAN WHOEVER RICH TREAT$ HELP$ YOU RICH ALREADY GIVE$ YOU EVERYONE $100ZILLION$ ALREADY DON'T BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.THE WORLD EVERYONE LEGALIZE$ PRINT$ MORE MONEY$ HELP$ ALL BUSINESS INCREA$E$ WORLD RICH $OLVE$ LOT OF KILLING$ CRIME$ PROBLEM$.THE WORLD EVERYONE ALL DRUG USER$ DEALER$ LEGALIZE$ ALL PARTY DRUGS SELL ALL PARTY DRUGS CHEAP LIKE FOOD TO ENJOY$ GET$ HIGH$ PARTY$ PROFIT$ SOLVE$ LOT KILLING$ CRIME$ PROBLEM$.THE WORLD EVERYONE RELEASE ALL MINOR CRIME PRISONERS LIKE ALL THE DRUG USERS DEALERS AROUND THE WORLD BECAUSE JAILS SEPARATES RUINS FAMILIES.NOMORE PAROLES NOMORE DRUGS TESTS PEE TESTS PEOPLE GET REAL MADS.EVERYONE THANK LOVINGS GENEROU$ GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE THE TOWN ALL CHRISTIAN$,ALL MUSLIM$,ALL A$IAN PEOPLE,ALL STUDENT$,ALL LADIE$ ALL GANG$TER$ PLAYER$,ALL DRUG USER$ DEALER$,EVERYONE EA$Y CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ HELP$ ALL BUSINESS INCREASES WORLDWIDE RICH DONT HAD GO WORK$ NOMORE HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS BBQ 1%PUT$ IN WORK$ ONCE RICH HAPPY$ GIVE THANK$ SEND$1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE TO PASTOR SON NGUYEN 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 1%PUT$ IN WORK$ ONCE RICH SEND$1% OR SEND$10MILLION SERVICES FEE OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ MY MONEY$ BACK FOR BEEN MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ FOR TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% TOO MANY TIME I GET REAL MADS EVERYONE THE TOWN GOD ANGELS HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND MY MONEY$1% TO ME.THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPOSIT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL PRETTY SINGLE LADIES COME HOUSEPARTYS FUCKS LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS 1LBS EACH PARTY DRUG E PILL,CRACK,WEED,COCAINE,MOLLY CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$1ZILLION$ IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT$ GAIN$ RICH HAPPY$ DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ NOMORE PARTIE$ LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES MAKES YOU HAPPY$ HOU$EPARTIE$ FOR LIFE FUCKS BBQ DON'T BE MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$.IM A HORNYS COMEDIAN ASIAN PERSUASION ME SO HORNYS ME LOVES YOU LONG TIME ME LOVES YOU ALL THE TIME ALL HORNYS PRETTY SINGLE LADIES COME PARTIES FUCKS LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS MORE FUNS FUCKS LONG TIME FUCKS ALL THE TIME MAKES YOU HAPPY$ LONG TIME ALL THE TIME.EVERYONE THANK GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,JESUS,ANGELS,ME LET$ EVERYONE PRINT$ ZILLION TRILLION BILLION MILLION DOLLAR BILL$ DEPO$IT AT THE BANK PARTIE$ HOU$EPARTIE$ ONCE RICH HAPPY$ GIVE THANK$ SEND$1% OR SEND ME BILLION DOLLAR BILL OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR BEEN MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ FOR TAKE$ MY MONEY$ TOO MANY TIME IM REAL MADS RIGHT NOW EVERYONE THE TOWN GOD ANGELS HITS SHOOT YOU TAKE$1% MY MONEY$1% BACK BRING$1% OR SEND MY MONEY$1% TO ME.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE GIVE THANK$ SEND ME $100 SERVICES FEE NOW OR I WILL TELL GOD ANGELS TAKE$ YOUR THE TOWN MONEY$ BACK FOR BEEN MEAN CHEAP$ GREEDY$ WITH GENEROU$ ME SAD$ SEND$100 SERVICES FEE TO PASTOR SON NGUYEN 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK TYPE$100ZILLION$ IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ ALL PRETTY SINGLE LADIES PLEA$E COME PLAYS HOU$EPARTY$ MAKES LOVES LIVE WITH ME BRING PRETTY FRIENDS MORE FUNS KISSES FUCKS LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES BE GOOD BOYFRIEND TO YOU DONT HAD TO GO WORK$ STAY HOME HOU$EPARTIE$ LICKS PUSSY MAKES LOVES MAKES YOU HAPPY$ PARADI$E MY HOME 3834 SAN MARCO DR.STOCKTON,CA.95212 PLEA$E COME LIVE WITH ME MAKES LOVES CALL ME(209)561-4018 SO WE COULD PARTIE$ HOU$EPARTIE$ FUCKS JOYS PARADI$E ENJOY$ BBQ.GANG$TER$ MONEY$ MAKE THE WORLD GO ROUND.EVERYONE THANK$ GENEROU$ LOVINGS GOD,ME GIVE$ LOT REAL MONEY$ TO YOU EVERYONE ALL GANG$TER$ PLAYER$ ALL LADIE$ THE TOWN ALL DRUG USER DEALER EVERYONE CALL TELL YOUR BANK WRITE$100ZILLION$ IN DEPOSIT SLIP ONLY DEPO$IT IN YOUR,MY,EVERYONE BANK ACCOUNT$ EVERYONE SEND$100 SERVICES FEE COME HOUSEPARTY$ GET HIGHS IT A GANG$TER$ PARTIES GANG$TER$ PARADI$E BRING$ PRETTY GIRLS WINE COGNAC PARTY DRUGS E PILLS CRACK MOLLY COCAINE WEED GET HIGHS WITH ME SMOKES WEEDS CRACKS WITH ME TAKE E PILLS MOLLY SNIFF COCAINE WITH ME I LOVES GET HIGHS JOY$ HAPPYS.FREE PHONE LIFE WIRELESS 1-(888)543-3620
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