#june is ‘looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you’

[hellomehlo]

top of act 3! (new hair new hair!!)

ft. @togepies perfectly capturing the june/astarion dynamic in one sentence 😭

[akiartswithmemes]

I finally got em’ done!

The chaotic goofball themself

Ok so Janebug is the definition of “looks like who could kill you, is a cinnamon roll”. (But they can kill) Surprisingly both chill, but much like Junebug, REALLY chaotic. They are both kitchen-bangers (meaning they stay up till 3:00 AM to start randomly cooking and doing random things..) but they try to be quiet though..

All I’m bout to say is that Junebug is jealous that they don’t get stuck between shift and needing Health-o-lax to fix it. But that’s because June still can’t control it very well. (It will make more sense in the story. Trust me.😅)

Janebug also likes to prank folks. And the pranks ARE funny, but they also like to scare the crap outta people…

They can also shape shift into puppet versions of humans, but they don’t have eyes.. scared the hell out of Gordon one time, it was kind of funny cause Gordon actually screamed like a little girl. But it kind of pissed him off at the same time.

That’s all for now people.

I still need to draw Neko-ki cause I haven’t in a long time.

Next off is George.

[zenzerosstuff]

PT.3

---------------------------------------------

June: are you nervous?

Louise: yeah.

June: Is this you're first time?

Louise: no, i've been nervous many times.

---------------

Daisy: How do the boys get out of their messes?

Donald: they don't. they just create a bigger one which cancels the first one

--------------------

Huey: how long does it takes before you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?

Louie: i think-

Dewey: 72 hours.

Donald: how do you kn-

Dewey: there's a clown behind you

--------------------------------------------------------------

"I'd die for you"

Dewey: then perish

April:you will

Louie&June: please don't

Huey: cool

May: I'd die for you first

.............................................

Dewey, banging on the door:Huey! Open up!

Huey: its all started when...

Dewey: no, i didn't mean-

Louie: shhh- let him finish

------------------------

Louie&June: looks like a cinnamon roll, Is actually a cinnamon roll.

April: looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you

May: looks like she could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll

Huey&Dewey: looks like they could kill you, could actually kill you

--------------------------------------------------------------

[cepheusgalaxy]

The arcs I have planned for my ocs so far:

Roseanne (snow white):

Point A: Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you and is ashamed of that

Point B: Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you (in the most terrifying ways) and you're lucky she has Morals or else you'd be completely fucked up.

June (another snow white main character):

Point A: Looks like a cinnamon roll, IS a cinnamon roll, and tries to kill you anyways

Point B: Looks like could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll, but could also kill you

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

annnnnnnnnnnd we’re back!:

-somebody is having a really bad day

-measure for measure

-why does everyone love putting heads on pikes so much

-cocktail party time!

-mourning chic

-making sex jokes about your brother

-edward that is a TERRIBLE in

-this girl’s got good comebacks

-“the bluntest wooer in christendom” you got that right

-oh so he just straight up proposed to her lmao

-and there’s the richard we all know and love (to hate)

-i love the moody piano in the background

-audience: *laughs at richard talking about his looks*

richard: is that a fucking joke to you (not wrong, honestly)

-yeah i wish they would have cast a disabled actor but a) this was the 80s and people didn’t do that *sigh* and b) andrew jarvis continues to be great nonetheless

-“many lives stand between me and the crown” has anyone ever considered doing henry vi part 3 and richard iii in the style of a gentleman’s guide to love and murder (2014)?

-oh hey henry finally sort of became a monk! (i mean he has a wife and kid but yeah)

-awwwwwww precious baby

-margaret keeps fighting

-oh hey warwick what are you doing here

-edward is just like “i’d like to leaaaaaaaaave”

-this lady is just so confused

-if looks could kill

-ohhhhhhhh shit

-warwick: friendship ended with edward now henry is my best friend

-well at least she’s willing to forgive i guess

-oh so now we have the kingmaker and all of france on henry’s side

-messenger is like idk what the fuck just happened

-the line read on “his well-chosen briiiiiiiide” lmao

-well this wedding party is going splendidly

-he gave back the white rose lmao

-elizabeth: i’m sittin’ heeeeeeere cryin’ in my wedding dress

-so edward just got arrested

-i have conflicted feelings about this dress

-so henry’s free!

-making friends all around!

-adorable child is adorable

-uh oh!!!

-well that came out of nowhere

-henry: i’m here for peace! i’m unarmed!

edward: *snatches henry’s prayer book*

- poor henry does not deserve this

-okay so clarence just switched sides again

-that was actually pretty adorable

-did warwick just get straight up killed

-answer: no he didn’t

-correction: yes he did

-aww margaret and ned

-go maggie go

-well that went poorly

-TELL THEM OFF NED

-no but why does “i know my duty; you are all undutiful” go so hard

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-margaret’s SCREAMS oh my GOD

-“kill me too!” “marry, i shall” RICHARD OH MY GOD I’M DYING

-not richard spitting on margaret to revive her omg

-no but why is richard so funny in this scene this scene is SAD

-someone pls give margaret all the hugs

-“thou hast no children, butchers” 😭

-edward this is NOT FUCKING FUNNY

-they’re forcing her to live on…

-“i hope you die. i hope you ALL die.”

-anyway all hail june watson

-henry continues to be a nerdy cinnamon roll

-“ay, my good lord…my lord, i should say rather. ‘tis sin to flatter.” HAHAHAHA GET HIM

-oh he KNOWS

-he knows ned’s dead 😭

-henry’s going OFF but in his own quiet way

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-“for this, amongst the rest, was i ordained” is a baller line though

-and even at his death, he still believes in the best and prays for forgiveness, even for his murderer 😭

-truly a cinnamon roll

-okay but was that necessary richard

-wherever henry is going, it’s definitely not hell

-congrats on the baby!

-yeah i wouldn’t be so sure about that edward

-wait i thought this was from richard iii? (it is. more editorial changes)

-okay yeah that was really good. A Lot Happened, baby!

alright henry vi: house of york let’s get it

@shredsandpatches

[creoterative]

20 Incorrect Pokemon Quotes

Info: These are not mine, I just altered the characters in them, I got them from tumgir.com. Still, was a lot of fun making these, and especially because I could put a lot of Paul into it, am so hyped right now for 10th of June. Maybe I’ll even push myself to get the next chapter for the Lambda Core ready a little bit earlier.

Ash: I lost my girlfriend, Misty. Can you help me find them?

Random stranger: What do they look like?

Ash: bEAUTIFUL!?

---

Ash, Banging on the door: Paul, open up!

Paul: It all started when I was a little boy...

Ash: No, I meant-

Dawn: Let him finish.

---

Paul: I've never been in a snowball fight before.

Dawn: Really?

Paul: So is there a point system or is it to the death?

---

*Paul walks into the house, covered in mud and probably blood, has some small cuts and bruises on his body and face*

Maylene: *Stops talking with Reggie and looks at Paul* What did you do?

Paul: Ok you have to promise me you won't get mad.

Reggie: Paul, what. Did. You. Do.

Paul: So I was minding my own business-

Reggie, Slams hands down onto the table: BULLSHIT!

Paul: I WAS!?

---

Barry: Hey did it hurt?

Dawn: ...? When I fell from heaven?

Barry: No, when you fell from the vending machine.

Dawn, Confused: ...

Barry: Cause you're a snacc~

---

Reggie: You're awfully quiet today.

Paul: No one plans a murder out loud.

---

Dawn, Eating a cinnamon roll: *Munch*

Conway: Cannibalism.

Dawn: *Confused chewing noises*

---

Paul: wHO AtE mY gODDaMN FrIeS?! You wanna go-

Dawn: I did.

Paul: -On a date with me? We can get more fries if you want?

---

Paul: Do you have the time?

Reggie: For you, Paul? Are you joking? Paul, I would always make time for you. My time is precious but you are more so. Paul, you... are a shining pearl in a sea of mediocrity. I would do anything for you. *Wipes tear*

Paul: Thanks, but like what time is it?

---

Paul: I'm really into dark humour.

Ash, Turning off the light: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?

---

Ash: *SLAPS the whiteboard*

Whiteboard: Cockle.

Ash: Cockle.

Paul: Mhm.

Paul: Gee, Ash, I wonder why that could possibly be your favourite word?

Gary: IT'S GOT 'COCK' RIGHT IN THE FRONT. RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING!

Ash: It means-

Barry: IT'S GOT COCK!

Barry: U do NOT care about the meaning. It's got cock in it.

Ash: IT MEANS!

Ash: ...

Ash: ...

Ash:'To bugle out in certain places'.

Paul: *Puts his head in his hands*

Barry: ...

Gary: ...

Gary: Like a COCK-

Ash: Like a COCK-

---

Ash: You think just because you ask for my attention that I'm going to give it to you?

Misty: Damn straight!

---

Ash: 'Sleepy' is so much better & cuter than 'Tired' everyone needs to stop using 'Tired' and start saying 'Sleepy' instead.

Paul: I'm sleepy of your shit.

---

Reggie: *Knock knock*

Maylene, sniffing: Who is it?

Reggie: Uh *Looks back at Paul* Who is it?

Paul: Say it's the tax people.

Reggie: The taxes.

Maylene: You can't come in.

Paul: Tell them we gonna fucking kill their entire family if they don't let us in!

Reggie: We have cookies~

---

Conway: What's the time?

Ash: Lemme check.

Ash: *Pulls out saxophone*

Ash: *REALLY LOUD SAXOPHONE NOISE*

Paul: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING A SAXOPHONE AT 2 IN THE MORNING!!??

Ash: It's 2!

Conway: Uhh... Thanks Ash!

Ash: No problem~

---

Reggie: Ask me why I love you.

Maylene: Why do you love me?

Reggie, Opening a 200 slide Powerpoint: I'm glad you asked.

---

Dawn: Is there a word that's a mix between sad and mad?

Ash: ...Smad?

Paul: Malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Brock: No, It's smad!?

---

Paul: I invited you back to the living world because I crave the deadliest game.

Ash: Knife monopoly?

Paul: I was actually gonna hunt you down for sport, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife monopoly is.

---

Reggie: Paul, I know you think you're helping but stop it.

Paul: I don't think I'm helping.

---

Barry: Rules are made to be broken.

Paul: Rules are made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Ash: Uh, pinatas?

Conway: Glow sticks.

Dawn: Karate boards!

Misty: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Barry: Rules!

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

June: looks like a cinnamon roll, actually is a cinnamon roll

Rose: looks like she could kill you, could actually kill you

Dave: looks like he could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll

Jade: looks like a cinnamon roll, actually could kill you

[fangirling-4-ever]

I posted 5,067 times in 2022

That's 4,956 more posts than 2021!

10 posts created (0%)

5,057 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hanaasbananas

@shenanigans-and-imagines

@wecouldwaitforthefireworks

@ali-r3n

@simplymakkari

I tagged 2,652 of my posts in 2022

Only 48% of my posts had no tags

#eddie munson - 1,196 posts

#eddie munson x reader - 994 posts

#eddie munson fanfic - 575 posts

#eddie munson smut - 198 posts

#jake seresin x reader - 165 posts

#joseph quinn - 159 posts

#jake hangman seresin - 149 posts

#drukkari - 121 posts

#stranger things - 113 posts

#nat's eddie fic recs - 82 posts

Longest Tag: 82 characters

#i read middle as kiddle and genuinely tried to remember where that was in prythian

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Visiting my uni for the first time since the quarantine is high key giving me anxiety. Thankfully havent run into anyone i know lol

0 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

#4

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the inbox of the last 10 people who reblogged something from you. Spread positivity. 🌈 💜 🍀

(Returning the favour but you were one of the last few to reblog me💕)

Thanks for the ask Eliie!! ❤

1. My cats 🐈‍⬛

2. Reading 📚

3. Music 🎵

4. Fashion 👗

5. Eddie ❤

1 note - Posted August 22, 2022

#3

Just found out that The Babysitters Club neflix show was cancelled. Im devastated, it was such a good show and I was so looking forward to season 3

2 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#2

Yall im devastated rn, not both my faves

3 notes - Posted July 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Druig and Makkari are the epitome of 'looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll' and 'looks like a cinnamon roll but would kill you'

115 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[firstprincesnowbaz]

Looks like a cinnamon roll, but could actually kill you: June, Bea

Looks like they could kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll: Alex

Looks like a cinnamon roll, and is actually a cinnamon roll: Henry

Looks like they could kill you, and will probably kill you: Nora, Zhara

[midnight-mama]

𝓓𝓮𝓬𝓮𝓶����𝓮𝓻

Tw: Mentions of murder/death

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

Name: Name: Melody Harper-Collins

Age: 29-33 years old

DOB: June 27th

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

POB: Brooklyn, NY

Height: 5'6

Occupation: Bakery Owner, Ghost Hunter

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

Overall, December is extremely antisocial due to trauma from her childhood and her ability to speak to spirits. She doesn't open up or even speak to people who are approved by the ghosts who follow her.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

The Character’s Abilities

Powers/Abilities: Can interact with and speak with spirits. Astral projection.

Fighting Style: Normally, she uses random objects as weapons. She has no intention of trying to seriously harm anyone but will if need be.

Preferred Weapon(s): None.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

Shipping notes:

December is very interested in more masculine men and women. She tends go vibe a lot with the hard on the outside and soft on the inside type.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

Looks like she could kill you, But is actually a Cinnamon Roll.....who can kill you.

Will follow what the spirits say, and if not, she will keep note of their words

Went to college and got an Arts degree

Extremely patient 

She eats a lot of vegetarian food but isn't actually a vegetarian or vegan

Really wants a pet chinchilla but can't afford it

Always looses her car keys

Can and will forget to eat

Dates around but most always fail

The ghosts that follow her are named Linda and Victor. According to them, Linda is her Aunt on her mother's side. While Victor is her grandfather on her father's side

When she was a child, she befriended a child ghost who gave her the nickname December

She continued to go by that ever since

Her parents died when she was only about Seven years old. According to the police it was a Murder-suicide

December has openly disagreed with this but was told she was misremembering

December gained the ability to speak to ghosts after her parents died

[periperi-winkle]

Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: Alex

Looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: June

Looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll: Henry

Looks like they could kill you and could actually kill you: Nora

Tired of cinnamon rolls: Zahra

[notveryglittery]

birthday prince (2)

summary: roman had no idea it was possible to die from too much love but logan sure is trying. words: 2,000 / ship: logince (logan/roman) author’s note: this is part two of my Giving The Gay Anything He Wants series for roman’s birthday (june 4)! all ships are written implied romantic but i’m not stopping you from interpreting it otherwise. check the end notes on ao3 for credit on these gifts (bc i don’t know where to put them in this post)! i hope you enjoy!!

part 1 (roceit) | part 2 (logince) | part 3 (prinxiety)  part 4 (royality) | part 5 (dlampts) read on ao3

— — —

Roman woke to the smell of bacon. And eggs. And hash browns. … Cinnamon rolls too, maybe? He groaned, rolling over onto his back. Kicking his legs up, he used the following momentum to swing himself into a sitting position. There was a little bit of vertigo at moving so quickly, but this was how he always got himself out of bed since it usually provided him a sudden surge of energy. He squinted, looking towards the door, and trying to decide how badly he actually wanted to get out of bed in order to have breakfast. On the one hand, it all smelled absolutely mouthwatering. On the other hand, he was very warm and comfortable.

Three precise knocks made the decision for him.

"Roman, are you awake?"

At the sound of Logan's voice, a smile lit up Roman's face. "Yes! Come in!"

The scents of all the tempting foods were much stronger now and, as Logan entered carrying a tray in one hand, it became clear as to why. Logan was still wearing an apron and there was a smidge of flour on his forehead. He moved carefully so as not to spill or drop anything. Roman hoped the mug was filled with coffee made with too much cream and sugar. Before he could offer any help, Logan gestured at him to sit back; in the same moment, he flipped the legs of the tray open. Once Roman was settled, Logan set the stand down over his lap. His nose had been right in picking out eggs, bacon, and hash browns. There was a small bowl of fruit (with green grapes, his favorite!) and yes, the coffee was the exact color as he liked it.

"There are cinnamon rolls baking still," Logan said, sitting down on the mattress and reaching forward to brush Roman's hair back from his eyes. His smile was so soft and fond, Roman thought he might melt if it were directed at him for too much longer. "Did you sleep well?"

Catching Logan's hand before he could pull away completely, Roman pressed a kiss to the bottom of his palm. "I did, thank you. So, what's this for, then?"

Logan shook his head, as if he didn't understand the question. "I'm sure you'll figure it out. Eat. I'll return momentarily."

He was up and gone by the time Roman remembered that his birthday was later that week. He laughed a little, burying his face in his hands. The food was delectable, all of it still hot and fresh. Somehow, the coffee was even better than usual; perhaps because it had been made and served by someone he cared for so dearly. He scrolled through social media as he ate, feeling happy and relaxed. It was an exceedingly nice way to start his morning, especially knowing that he had plenty of things to deal with later on.

True to his word, Logan was back in roughly twenty minutes. He had a plate and two glasses of milk. He seemed satisfied that Roman had finished all his food and, with a snap of his fingers, removed the breakfast tray. He left his things on the bedside table and pulled a notebook from thin air. Roman recognized it as one of his many planners. He sat down again, posture slightly stiff, but Roman could tell it was because he was resisting joining Roman in bed. He wondered how he could convince him…

Flipping through the pages, Logan adjusted his glasses before beginning. “As far as I’m aware, the tasks you had scheduled for today were the following: selecting the name and song for Shoutout Sunday, washing the linens, preparing April’s shorts for compiling, and… corralling Remy to ensure Thomas sleeps well tonight.”

Roman snorted at Logan’s choice of words. “That’s all of it. Thank you for breakfast, darling. I’ve got plenty of energy to get started now!”

Logan tutted and held up a hand to stop Roman from getting up any further. “It is taken care of.”

Roman frowned. “... Pardon?”

“Your chores. The last load of laundry is in the dryer now. I’ve spoken with Thomas regarding Sunday’s video. Bargaining with Remy did take some time. However— Are you crying?” Logan’s voice hitched in sudden concern and he reached over to cradle Roman’s cheek in his hand.

Roman sniffled. “It’s okay, Lo. I’m happy… Just a little overwhelmed.” He pressed his own hand against Logan’s and gave him a shaky smile. “Why did you do all of this?”

Logan shifted so that he was better facing Roman. “You deserve to be taken care of. That is a constant, of course. In particular, this is in celebration of your birthday. I am well aware of the shenanigans made for the day itself so I thought I would ‘jump the gun,’ so to speak.”

Roman didn’t want to be dramatic or anything (hah) but he was pretty sure Logan was trying to kill him. “I haven’t the faintest idea how I could begin to thank you.”

“That’s just fine,” Logan reassured him. “I wouldn’t want you to, anyway.”

Roman laughed under his breath and gently moved away from Logan’s hold. He wiped at the tears that lingered on his eyelashes. “Well, it seems I have more free time than I thought I would. Have you got anything else up your sleeves?”

“Seeing as this garment lacks the necessary amount of fabric to do so, no. However, I did have something in mind that I believe you would enjoy participating in?”

“Lead the way, my star.”

After giving Roman some time to freshen up and change, they left his room, snacking on their cinnamon rolls and milk as they walked. It was still early, not yet noon, and Roman appreciated the peaceful atmosphere more than he thought he would. Normally, there would be music playing, or the television on as background noise in the living room, or the kitchen full of clanging utensils. This was pleasant. Having Logan with him made it all the better.

Eventually, Logan paused at the door between his and Patton's rooms. It was decorated with stickers, paint, glitter, buttons — any and all crafts that would fit basically, for that's exactly what was on the other side. Simply called the Crafts room, it was a creative space available for anyone to use however they pleased. Roman most often honed his vocal talents but he knew that Virgil liked to paint murals on the walls. When Logan led the way inside, the room transformed to match his vision. Warm sunlight spilled in from multiple windows. There was a rolling cart filled with every color of paint Roman could ever think of and more. There were a handful of easels, all holding various sizes of canvases. On the table in the center of the room was a stack of paper bound by ribbon, numerous pens, and a platter of snacks. Speakers set up in the corners of the room were already playing music.

"Will this suffice?" Logan asked, breaking Roman out of his daze.

"Suffice… Moonbeam, this is wonderful! And that smell… Is it—?"

"Jasmine to produce feelings of confidence and Eucalyptus to boost creativity."

“Well, they certainly are doing the trick!” Roman exclaimed, skipping fully into the room. He darted for the nearest easel, grabbing the handle on the cart as he did and pulling it over with him. His head was already full of ideas, sprawling landscapes and detailed portraits and, and, and!

The next hour passed in comfortable silence. They did, occasionally, duet along to various Broadway or Disney love songs that came through on their playlist. Sometimes, they dissolved into giggles afterwards, or they’d pause in their work to send each other sappy smiles. Sure, Roman was immensely curious about what Logan was working on, but he knew best what an awful thing it was to be interrupted while spending time with one's muse and motivation. Besides, he wasn't sure he could find a moment to pause in his own projects even if he wanted to. He moved from canvas to canvas smoothly, a new creation springing to mind the second he finished the last. There was an open expanse of night sky, stars dotted in yellow, blue, and red; a portrait of the lovely Valerie, dressed up and imagined as one of Roman's fellow knights; some abstract thing that was only recognizable from upside down and depended on the viewer having seen Parks and Rec at least two and a half times.

Eventually, though, his energy waned, and he set down his paintbrushes to take a break. He dropped a kiss to the top of Logan's head as he stepped by before taking a seat at the table, and reaching for the snacks. He went for a bagel but appreciated the variety of fruits and veggies, too. A few minutes later, Logan looked up from his work. He looked satisfied.

“All done?” Roman asked, interest piqued once more.

“Yes. Thank you for your patience.”

“Oh. Lo, that’s nothing you need to thank me for. This was really nice. Honestly, I didn’t realize how badly I needed it.”

Logan leaned closer, startling Roman when he kissed him quickly on the nose. Logan licked his lips after, smirking. “You had a bit of cream cheese…”

Roman made a sound akin to a tea kettle whistling.

Wasting no time, Logan stood and positioned himself in front of one of the windows. He looked as handsome as ever, silhouetted by the sunlight. He seemed relaxed and confident and Roman quite suddenly began to worry about his well being again.

He squinted at the brightest star in his sky. “... What are you up to?”

Logan cleared his throat. And began to sing.

It felt like the floor gave out underneath Roman. He might as well have no longer been tethered to his body. It was a miracle he stayed present enough to continue listening; he assumed it had something to do with knowing that missing even a millisecond of this would be the biggest regret he could make. Not only was Logan singing, completely of his own volition, he was singing about Roman. Lines about his bravery and his recklessness, his confidence and his ego, his creations and his work ethic. It was balanced, neither too praising nor too harsh. There was mention of how much love he carried, of how he deserved to receive as much as he gave, of how there was magic at his fingertips.

By the time Logan finished, Roman was outright sobbing. It wasn’t fair, how someone he loved so much, so so much, could make something so beautiful and heartfelt for him. How was he ever supposed to return the favor? When Logan pulled him up and out of the chair, he fell easily into his arms and tried to quiet his weeping.

“I would apologize for making you cry but that would be apologizing for the things I said, which I cannot do. I mean every word. My life is better with you in it. You inspire us all to be our very best and that is so admirable. Happy birthday, your highness.”

“Stop, stop,” Roman argued weakly, pouting up at Logan. “You’re killing me. You’re so cruel.”

Logan smiled down at him. He took a handkerchief from his breast pocket and patted Roman’s face dry. “I suppose you’ll do something about it?”

“Yes,” Roman answered vehemently. “Your punishment is to be trapped in a pillow prison. A blanket barricade. Confined by cuddles.”

“Oh no. That final one might be the worst sentence of them all.”

Roman pressed a kiss to Logan’s jawline before firmly grabbing his hands. “I’ll have to stay and make sure you don’t escape, of course.” He began to pull Logan out of the room, cheeks starting to hurt from his wide smile.

“Of course,” Logan agreed, in a tone so gentle, it should have been impossible.

Perhaps Roman kept this thief of his heart wrapped up extra tight and snug in his arms, but that wasn’t really anybody else’s business, now was it?

[gxdlyprxde]

( lily james, cisfemale, she/her, 31 ) ** ♔ announcing HANNA HABSBURG,  the PRINCESS OF AUSTRIA ! in a recent portrait they seem to resemble LILY JAMES. it is a miracle that SHE survived the last five years, considering they are FIERCE, BOLD, and INTELLIGENT. i hope the plague has not changed them. they are FOR working together with the other kingdoms (gigi, she/her, 22, cst)

hi friends! gigi here with my first babe!

basic info:  name/title: princess hanna luisa habsburg of austria  age: thirty-one  birthday: june 3rd sexuality: bisexual  gender/pronouns: cisfemale, she/her

personality: hanna here is the definition of ‘looks like a cinnamon roll, but could kill you’. not in the literal sense yet, but in the political sense. i mean, the gif above says it all. hanna will play nice as long as she has to but when the time comes for her to make her move, she’ll take it no hesitation. she know’s what she wants and she knows how to get it. she’s fierce, bold, and incredibly smart, and isn’t afraid to manipulate others to get to the top. 

background:  - hanna is the eldest daughter of the habsburg family. the title doesn’t mean much considering she’ll never be the crown princess and never rule. however, that doesn’t stop her from wanting to do so.  - she knows, and has come to terms with, that she’ll never rule austria. it was the source of a lot of tantrums when she was younger, but she’s found her other outlets.  - her relationship with her siblings is... complicated and she’s fairly certain they would say the same about her. (leaving this vague for plotting!)  - when her father died, it was a true shock. she hadn’t expected it and that’s what made it worse. hanna is a planner in every sense of the word and the fact that she wasn’t three steps ahead of this particular situation drove her mad.  - however, her need to plan and be ahead has truly come to a halt. she thought she could marry a dumb crown prince and live happily ever after ruling a country of her own, but things aren’t coming up hanna right now. 

connections (please feel free to reach me on discord or im!): - siblings - potential betrothed/suitors: hanna’s understanding of politics is immense. she knows that from her birth order and her status that she’ll never rule on her own, so her intention is to marry for power. love is non-existent as far as she’s concerned. (...for now. I’m obviously up for actual love if the situation arises)  - friends/allies  - handmaidens/ladies in waiting - enemies

[silentfcknhill]

AtLA + LoK Villains Evilness Rating

(For this I took into account aggravating factors such as scale/severity of evil actions committed, scary vibes, level of sadism/psychopathy, and also mitigating factors such as well-meaning if misguided motivations, eventual redemptions and/or traumatic backstories. If you wanna dispute my ratings I’ll be happy to tell you why.)

ATLA:

Uncle Iroh- 0.5/10

Actual angel but could still open up a can of whoop-ass if necessary. Too supportive and forgiving. Loves tea, sitting around, speaking in proverbs and leading by example. Probably considers you a friend. Surprisingly powerful but mostly peaceful. Hard to provoke but if you do, just run. Fear the nice ones. 

Ty Lee - 1/10

Cinnamon roll. Too pure for this world. Naïve and will put her faith in you 100%. Kind of ditzy but can take you down with no hard feelings. Needs to be liked by everyone. Is very flexible. Can strangle you with her legs and giggle while doing it. Chooses scary friends. Has frustratingly good luck. 

Prince Zuko- 2/10

Conflicted, violent and angsty but mostly needs a lot of reassurance. Has a major boner for his honor. Will freak out over nothing. Has been through a lot and will not be underestimated. Grumpy and willful af and won't listen to you until it's too late. Even before his redemption he would not sacrifice innocent troops.

Master Yu- 2.5/10

Not really evil, just self-motivated and greedy. Basically the only braincell in the village once Toph leaves. Has common sense but is too naive for his own good. Technically only ever tried to bring a child back home to her parents. Has a price. Believed in Toph and defended her to her parents.

June- 3/10 

Might beat you up or kidnap you for money but it's nothing personal. Might insult you as a way of flirting. Looks pretty and delicate but don't be fooled. Can beat you up in a split second and not break a sweat. Will probably take all your stuff and never give it back. Lives for the tough girl aesthetic. 

Xin-Fu- 4.5/10

The more sggressive and impulsive of the Toph-hunting duo, definitely gets a thrill out of antagonizing people. So defensive he might as well be a safe. Money over bitches. Never disrespect him. Thinks everything is disrespect. Would attack god unarmed. Bullies children. Capitalizes on violence.

Jet- 4.5/10

Misguided and extreme but also traumatized. Don't get in his way. Kind of twisted and obsessive af. Ends justify the means, until they don't. Needs a proper role model and has potential. Can be unreasonable and is still kind of a jerk. Will gaslight you. Redeemed but was willing to kill innocent children/flood the town.

Mai- 5/10

Is just bored and over it all. Throwing knives is something to do. Apathetic and will probably just follow along with whatever including murder but will complain the entire time. Emo af. Would risk it all for a quick nap. Prone to bite your head off. Too smart for you and will let you know. 

Wan Shi Tong- 6.5/10

A total dick. Tired of your shit and is judging you. Thinks humans are garbage and won't get involved with them until it suits him. Don't touch his books or he will literally eat you. Nerdiest bastard. Doesn't trust you so don't try any shit with him. Sees through your pathetic lies. Kind of an elitist.

Hama- 7/10

Traumatized old hag. Created bloodbending but too crazy to do much with it now. May kidnap you and keep you in a dank hole forever. Seems sweet at first but is hiding a lot of secrets. Don't eat her cooking. Thinks sitting at home scheming is a job. Hates you for whatever small thing you did to her 57 years ago. Forgets nothing. 

Long Feng- 7.5/10

Conniving af. Will brainwash you, lie to your face and maybe make you disappear. Wants everything and will plot to take it all. Perfectionist and control freak, will stab you in the back and you won't see it coming. Is tired of taking everyone's shit. Thinks he deserves better but he doesn't. Kills children. 

Combustion Man- 8/10 

Thinks blowing shit up is a form of art. Doesn't believe in communication. Very serious and focused. Do not fight him. Probably gets crapped on more than he deserves. A mystery wrapped in a bald head. Probably has a tattoo of the names of all the people he's killed and he's ready to add yours. It's not personal though.

Koh the Face-Stealer- 8/10 

Terrifying and will probably steal your face. Do not approach. Too indifferent to chase you but can be sneaky af so watch your back. Doesn't handle emotions well. A total loner. The guy who knows everything but nobody wants to talk to. Fear him. To know him is to hate him. Makes you question everything. 

Admiral Zhao- 8.5/10 

Explosive temper. Huge egomaniac and narcissist. Hates the moon. Has probably killed a lot of people and fish and you're next. Will do whatever it takes. Won't listen to anything you say. Punch first, ask questions never. Jumps to a lot of conclusions, is usually wrong. Frequently embarrasses self. 

Firelord Azulon- 8.5/10 

Will order your execution on a whim and maybe a relative or two first for the appetizer. Do not question him. Will play favorites and call you out on things that are his fault. Overreacts and you should probably not be around when it happens. Disapproves of all your choices and is very vocal about this fact. Forces parents to kill their children. 

Princess Azula- 9/10 

Unstable and manipulative. Sadist who thrives off of your fear and suffering. Will hurt you badly in all the ways. Avoid at all costs. Acts cold and calculating but really has no chill. Demands your respect but won't earn it. Trolling you gives her pleasure. The spawn of satan and loving it. Mommy issues to infinity. 

Firelord Sozin- 9/10

Will commit genocide and take over the world while yelling at you for minor shit. Kind of a petty and jealous asshole. Even if you think he is your friend he isn't and is going to attack you. A big old bully with a wonky beard. The original starter of all drama and certified instigator shitlord. 

Firelord Ozai- 9.5/10

Second worst dad ever. No soul. Will burn every tree and face to a crisp. Child abuse for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Actual sociopath. Will kill someone and banish you for it. Goatee comes first. Will project all his insecurities on you. Will tell everyone your secrets. World's biggest megalomaniac. 

LOK: 

Varrick- 2/10

Will probably lie, try to con you out of money, order you to do things for him and tell bad jokes but that's as far as it's gonna go. Eccentric and annoying af. Doesn't know when to shut up. Needs to learn some lessons in life. Attracts more trouble than he's worth. Has all the good gossip somehow. 

Tahno- 2/10 

A total prick. Has nicer hair than you and won't let you forget it. Very flamboyant and arrogant. Will gloat over being better than you at everything even though he cheated every time. Talks mad shit but can't walk the walk. Ultimately a big baby. Lowkey protect him. Wants to be the cool kid but isn't cool. 

Police Chief Saikhan- 2.5/10 

Will do anything you say for a price, except give a fuck. Doesn't really care about anything. Might arrest you just because he doesn't like you. The type to pretend he didn't hear you just to avoid responsibility. Likes to yell into things. Hates helping people. Is actually a giant rock in disguise. 

Desna- 3/10

Couldn't care less. Actual inanimate object. Lurks around for no reason. Hates everything and that includes you. Listens to his elders and would probably leave you for dead. Just wants to sleep. Actually goth. Might actually be two small robots in a trenchcoat pretending to be human. 

Councilman Tarrlok- 4/10

Attention whore with a savior complex. Smol bean who wants approval. Acts arrogant but is secretly depressed and self-loathing af. Stubborn and clingy emotional wreck with impulse control issues. Needs a hug. Will probably manipulate you through guilt or charisma. Wants to be Lucius Malfoy, but cries at night. 

Bataar Jr.- 4/10

The guy that nobody likes because he tries too hard and ends up ruining everything. Enjoys being a bitch. Wants to rebel but is bad at it. Do you love me now father? Tries to act like he doesn't care what you think but cares way too much. Will not kill you unprovoked but might get engaged to your ex to spite you. Gets redeemed.

Hiroshi Sato- 4.5/10

Has lost sight of what's important. Total extremist. Will get revenge on you for something you didn't even do. Well respected and seems innocent but is plotting your downfall. Can build a whole army and take you down. Kind of a traitor. Loyalty is volatile. Thinks he always knows what's best for you but doesn't know shit. Does get redeemed.

The Lieutenant- 4.5/10

In way over his head. Wants to make a difference but has let bitterness take over. Will probably electrocute you. Puts his faith in the wrong people. Kind of snobby and will hold a grudge. 99 problems and benders are about 98 of them. Tired of being pushed around but still lets himself be pushed around. FLOPPY MUSTACHE. 

Aiwei- 5/10 

Thinks he's better than you and probably isn't. Wants to be sneaky but really is just too predictable. Boring af and tries to be unique but fails miserably. Lets everyone take advantage of him. Don't lie to him. Will harbor resentment and take it out on you at a random point in time. Discount Long Feng but not as smart or ambitious. 

Eska- 5.5/10

Will stalk you aggressively. Thinks slavery is a relationship. Eyeliner sharp enough to kill. Never betray her or she will destroy you. Might use you as a footstool. Seems emotionally dead inside, but don't test her dormant waters. Uses everyone and feels no guilt. Hipster trash. No concept of boundaries or social interaction. 

Zaheer- 6/10

A wannabe hippie but will still fight the system and you too. Don't try to control him. Gets annoyed when people breathe too loud. Is kind of a contradiction. Will literally blow you away. Anarchy equals freedom. Fuck the police. Can sit in the same spot for a really long time. Probably a flat earther. Gets sort of redeemed.

Ghazan- 6/10

Sarcasm game strong enough to fatally wound you. Doesn't say much. Has tree trunks for limbs and will probably use them to throw lava and rocks at you. Lowkey protective af. Don't get on his bad side. You can't get on his good side. Would rather kill everyone including himself than let you win an argument. 

Shady Shin- 6.5/10

Slimy piece of shit but really doesn't do much damage on a larger scale. Terrorizes citizens and extorts everyone. Pretty much just overcompensating for losing his bending at thia point. Never trust him. Kind of an idiot. Actually pretty weaksauce. Will follow any order no matter how twisted.

Lightning Bolt Zolt- 6.5/10

Essentially just Shady shin but 50% dumber and with 38% more blind confidence and 60% less impulse control. Essentially the Godfather of Republic City. Gives all the orders, is responsible for pretty much every single organized crime fiasco. Had enough self-preservation to quit his job.

P'Li- 7/10

Can explode you with her mind. Her gaze will pierce you to the core. Strong independent and violent woman who don't need a man but chooses to have one anyway. Will shave you off just like the sides of her hair. Has no problem fucking shit up. Boss bitch. Loyal to only a select few, so too bad for you. Violent for the hell of it.

Ming-Hua- 7/10

Has a significant disability but can still easily slaughter you. Innovative and sneaky af. As fast and agile as an actual lemur. A natural disaster wherever she goes. Doesn't listen to your advice. Overcompensates a lot. Probably her own worst enemy. Is quiet and likes to eavesdrop on your business. Sadistic af.

Kuvira- 7.5/10 

Wants to control everything. Who invited her to poop the party? Highkey evil and just plain mean. Will use your corpse as a decoration if you get in her way. Secretly petty and superficial af. Thinks social bonding is trying to seduce you in order to take charge of your life. Individuality punishable by death. Even other villains hate her. Does get redeemed.

Earth Queen Hou-Ting- 8/10 

Threatens to eat your pets for supper. Her yelling is the #1 cause of deafness worldwide. Will keep you prisoner and then have you killed for looking at her. The bossiest Drama Queen ever. Will be the cause of all your misery and will be proud of it. Bark is worse than her bite. Lots of daddy issues. 

Amon- 8.5/10

Charismatic but scary and mysterious af. Huge hypocrite. Will silently judge you. Powerful, selfish and cruel. Manipulative as hell and uses intimidation to get you to comply. Pretends to have empathy but really just wants control. Will cripple you physically and emotionally without warning. Knows all of your weaknesses but none of his own. 

Yakone- 9/10

Worst dad ever. Will either bloodbend you, try to live vicariously through you or both. Absolutely no redeeming traits except for being physically human. Abuse equals tough love. Might beat your ass for no good reason and expect your gratitude for it. Criminal mastermind with no conscience and all of the entitlement. 

Chief Unalaq- 9.5/10 

Religious extremist. Actually batshit insane. Wants to destroy the entire world. Has ascended from this pathetic plane of human existence. Loner whose only friends are invisible. Wants you to think he's just shy and misunderstood but NOPE. Knows what you want to hear and lies like its breathing. Will sell you to satan for one cornchip. 

Vaatu- 10/10

Actually the devil. Literal incarnation of darkness and chaos. Ultimate troll and force of disaster in the world. Doesn't know any better, but still an asshole by choice. Will use you until you're no longer of value. Has a hard-on for destruction. Likes to play the victim. Will consume your soul and burp loudly.

[charmingpplincardigans]

January Kitchen Sink Check In

This is mostly for me, because I’m trying to become a better person this year, for varying definitions of the term ‘better’, and I like to see my progress laid out all organized like. It helps me move forward. So I’m gonna go through my Body/Mind/Money goals for January and note how I did and what I’m going to do moving forward!

BODY

Working Out: 

My two work out goals for the end of the year are to 1) be doing yoga semi-regularly and 2) be working out four days a week reliably, including the yoga. I’m working on easing myself into these (and all) habits, because I don’t want to overwhelm myself and give up on everything, so my goal for January was to work out one day a week. And I worked out *drumroooooooll* NONE! NOT A ONCE. I don’t have an excuse for this. Part of it was stress, part of it was depression, part of it was sheer laziness. I promise myself I’m gonna work out at least once a week in February, but also shoot for the two times a week that is the February Goal. 

Food: 

I have several overall food goals for the year. One is to give up soda near completely, or at least to break my addiction to it. The others are to start planning meals and eat less meat. For January I wanted to drink only two sodas a day (20oz max). I managed that 23 days out of 31. In looking at the calendar you can reliably match the days I failed to the days that were extremely stressful or anxiety ridden. I have a very bad habit in those moments of throwing up my hands and deciding that I’m a failure anyway so nothing matters. That’s definitely a mental tick to keep an eye on over the next few months as my job no doubt just gets more and more stressful. The other goals I did okay with. I decided to plan one meatless meal a week. New recipes I made in January were: 

Black bean soup

Moroccan sweet potatoes

Spinach lasagna

Black bean & sweet potato enchiladas

Do recommend most of them. The lasagna had way too much cinnamon in it, which was kind of weird. If I make that recipe again I’m gonna quarter the amount. But I might just find a different veggie lasagna to make. 

For February I want to drop the soda to one a day (12oz max), and start to plan to make two meals a week. I’m doing okay with meat, but I could for sure do better. It helps that I have started making THE WORLD’S BEST SANDWICHES for lunch. Probably just gonna eat those forever instead of ordering out Huey Magoo’s or whatever. (The sandwich is hummus, cucumber, and feta on toasted Good Seed bread. Try it!)

Doctor Things:

Uff. I need to figure out the CPAP issues and the chest pain issues. I absolutely despised the first mask they sent me for the CPAP. It gave me panic episodes and I was ripping it off IN MY SLEEP. Insurance refused me a new mask until April, but my doctor came in like an angel with a sample version of a different type of mask to try. This one is...better. I’m still not comfortable in it and it’s not appreciably helping my sleep. People keep telling me it’s going to change my life, but that has not happened yet. On the other hand I have friends who’ve tried to make them work for YEARS and never did, so I’m wary of this whole process, but still trying. 

I had a sort of fraught meeting with my cardiologist last week. My chest pain symptoms had been getting better as of October, but with the change in my job I’ve back slid almost entirely. I had a 36 hour period of chest pain two weeks ago. I go whole nights having every heart attack symptom in slow motion, but doing nothing about it because I can’t afford for the ER to tell me I’m fine five times a month. I cried when she asked me why I didn’t go to a hospital when that happened. I feel so helpless all of the time and I’m certain I’m going to die any day now, even though my heart is technically physically fine. Can you anxiety yourself into a heart attack? I THINK YOU CAN. She did tell me to try to speak to the psychiatrist again about anxiety medication. The last time I tried the woman I saw didn’t want to prescribe me anything. She told me to work on my sleep and come back. Welp! The cardiologist said that if that happens this time she’ll write a note telling her to prescribe me something. We’ll see. I need to try to make that appt this month. 

MIND

Therapy:

My therapist thinks I’ve done really well over the last year with working on myself and said out loud that she thinks I’m better at dealing with some things and am in a good position to move forward. But I’m so stressed right now that I just feel like I’ve fallen apart again. We’re meant to start on EMDR this week, but I’m going to have to put a pause on it so I can talk about how I’m at like, the lowest point of my life, which she will be very supportive of and then probably remind me that if we could just get to the EMDR and work with the older traumas this might not feel so dire. I’m just, on the struggle bus and too tired to do anything but freak out about that. 

Writing: 

I have so may creative goals this year! Too many probably! I should put some back! My creative goals for the year are:

Complete a rough draft of AMLD (10,000 words a month)

Complete and mail out the Girls Who Date the Universe chapbook

Complete and mail out any remaining art for people who helped me with the car fund

Work on poetry and short fictions (Monster Story?)

Actually check in to @gywo every month (10 days a month goal)

My creative goals for January were to write 10,000 words on AMLD, work on the extra poems for GWDTU, and send the remaining postcards from the car fund. And uh...look. I did work on writing. I worked on the chapbook layout and editing pieces that needed to be edited/replaced, because there are several. I did also work on the outline for AMLD, but didn’t write new words on it. Not anywhere 10,000 of them at any rate. 

The owing people art thing is just...it fucks me up, man. I have learned a huge lesson between the car fund and the patreon. I get so in my head about how these people deserve beautiful things and then I tell myself I’m not capable of making things worthy of them and then I put off doing the thing because I want to put off letting them down and then it just spirals from there. ALL THE WHILE I AM FOR SURE LETTING THEM DOWN. I realize this is both unhealthy and unprofessional. It’s why one of my goals this year is to clear all of this once and for all so that I can square myself away with everyone and try not to end up here in the future. 

So, the January Goals now get rolled up into the February Goals, which leaves the new list for the month at: 

10,000 words AMLD

Complete extra poems for GWDTU

Send postcards from car fund

Complete layout for Boston chapbook for car fund

I did check in for GYWO. 

Future Plans:

Part of letting off the pressure for the now for me is always about planning for the future. Not like, the actual future, I’m not starting a 401k, let’s not go nuts. But for something that is one step forward. In my notes for my year goals this is all about moving back to Boston. I need to set a date for it. I need to save money for it. I need to keep my job until after I’ve done it. But now I think this part needs to include notes about my job itself and the ways I can either move forward with it or move away from it once and for all. 

I talked to Lisa and Kait at the beginning of the year about the moving plan, and now I just need to talk to my apartment complex to see if it would be feasible to extend the lease to December or February without paying an exorbitant amount in rent each month. If rent ends up being more than $2k/mo for the extension then I’m just going to have to have to wait until June 2022. This frustrates me, because I hate not being able to just follow through with decisions once I’ve made them, but patience is another thing I’m working on eternally. My goal for February is figure out money stuff well enough and talk to complex and set a timeline. 

Work is. Wow. It’s awful right now. I still have my job, which takes up much of my days, but because of re-org I’m also having to learn a whole new job which would also take up much of my day. I can’t not learn this job, because the person who used to do it is in another department now too, so there’s no one to get the work done if I don’t learn to do it. But I also can’t do both. I CAN’T DO BOTH. An issue popped up last week with my job that literally brought my ulcer back. I asked my boss for help with it and she sent me a message at one point saying she wanted to cry about it. So like. She knows now, right? She knows I can’t do both jobs?? BUT THERE’S NO ONE ELSE TO DO IT SO I GUESS I JUST GET TO SLOWLY KILL MYSELF. I’m just so frustrated, and angry that these decisions get made without taking the people in them into account, and of course anxious and miserable. I’m currently dreading work in a way I haven’t since I was in text perms. It’s real bad. So I have to find a way to make it work or find a way out. 

My February approach to that is to finish this Love It or Leave It book and see if I can’t divine where my true motivation lies, and also to research library school. I kind of would rather not go back to school. Not because I wouldn’t spend my entirely life in school if I could. I WOULD. But because it’s expensive and time intensive and there’s no promise my life will be better after it’s over. But every job I think I want pretty much requires that masters, so. We’ll look into it at least. 

MONEY

Eating Out:

During the pandemic, one of my money sinks became DoorDash. I never used it before, because it costs literally twice as much as just going to get the food. (Also because I kind of like eating in restaurants alone. Ah, one day again I hope!) But the more afraid I became of the outside world, the less inclined I was to go into a restaurant to pick up take out, so I’ve had it brought to me. And I need to cut that shit out! I have food at home! My goal for January was to order out only 4 times a week. I managed this for three of the weeks, but when I blew it it was definitely those weeks at the very beginning and very end of the month where I was super stressed. The goal in February is to only order out 3 times a month.

Savings:

I need to open a high yield savings account. I’ve had the starting money for the move just sitting in my bank account making me no extra money for like, four months. The latest reason I haven’t moved it over is that I’m worried I’m going to owe a lot in taxes this year because of the partial unemployment I got. Hopes are that since it was a work share the taxes were taken out ahead of time, but I do not trust the government with my money as far as I can throw them, so. I’ll do my taxes this month and finally know for sure. And then I WILL move the rest of the money into a high yield savings account. I WILL. 

Also, every time my credit union savings hits a grand, I’ll move $500 of that over into the high yield account to put toward moving expenses. 

Budget:

I keep meaning to sit down and work out my new budget for 2021. I’m bringing home a little bit less in my paycheck because I changed my health insurance, and I’m also, of course, trying to save as much as I can ahead of moving so I don’t put anything on credit cards. (I’m doing so well paying those down!) This means I need to save everything I can and not spend money on stupid frivolous stuff. I’m not buying clothing like I did in the before times, but I AM spending too much money at Target still, because the app lets me just peruse any dumb idea I have and then pick it up that day! What a disaster! So, I really need to work something out. Or at least, I need to check my bank accounts more often and keep tabs on how much is actually going out. I have a bad out-of-sight-out-of-mind habit when it comes to bank accounts. Just another piece of me to try to cure this year.

And that’s it for January. I’m now late to bed because I’ve been working on this post for an hour and a half. Working on my sleep is also a goal, but we’ll see how exercise and the cpap handle that. Til next month!

[fymagnificentwomcn]

Hello, we all liked Handan here. I suppose Halime turned out to be simply the more interesting character for more people & it’s not surprising because she seems more to be the type to gather bigger fanbases, while I suppose in real life most people would prefer to be friends with Handan. I have to say I actually liked how they bounced each off, and how Handan was the sinnammon roll to Halime’s cinnamon roll as our dearly missed Ksenia showed in gifset here.

Handan truly just wanted her son to be safe and sound first and foremost. Of course, she enjoyed being Valide and wanted to enjoy privileges connected with her new station, but you could see Ahmed was most important for her, she truly just wanted to be loved and have her family safe and sound.

However, you could also see that she pretty much had anxiety problems & was usually reacting to stuff very emotionally, more so than even other “emotional” women on show.

I think her gentler constitution made living in this system a constant stress and frustration for her, she couldn’t adapt.

And it’s actually interesting to see this sort of woman on show – I cannot believe each and everyone of these women functioned pretty normally… like Mahidevran could be emotional for example but she still managed pretty well.

Handan didn’t get much in life – she wasn’t important to Mehmed, she was sidelined by both Safiye and Halime, and while she was lucky to have a son, it was clearly also very stressful for her as she stated multiple times how hard it was to be a mother in that palace; the whole situation truly gave her more anxiety than thinking about any ambitions. Her son wasn’t the eldest and Mahmud was very popular, and after Mahmud’s death she was scared Mehmed III might kill Ahmed.

Dervis’ love was truly the only thing she had left after Ahmed distanced himself from her.

And she was not only grieving Derviş, but scared that Ahmed might reject her even more when he learns about their forbidden love.

Even look at Ahmed’s reaction to what Dilruba told him – he immediately went “so my mum had to help me with killing my father!!!!!” and we know she didn’t & didn’t even know Derviş’ secret until after Ahmed’s accession to throne.

Ahmed was truly the only thing that kept Handan standing in that palace for all these years.

Kösem, who was back then a raising star with padisah’s love and high position for favourite/gözde, just completely didn’t understand her mother-in-law (I mentioned it a bit in post here).

It was only later that she understood Handan, even despite the fact that she was stronger person and far more powerful. It’s that while they were different people in various aspects, Kösem and Handan also had some similarities, which shows how multi-faceted Nurgül!Kösem was.

I’m actually happy they kinda subverted our expectations in MYK S2 & didn’t pull standard MY/K melodrama with Kösem&Kemankeş despite all the stressing about how Haci was worried she might end up like Handan & Kösem going on how she wouldn’t survivie Kemankeş’ death multiple times & being all stressed out and worried when something could be happening to him (they couldn’t have her commit suicide of course, but they could go with some spiritual death or final breaking point, for which nota bene Ibrahim’s death served better, it would have been even too early) & instead she saved her man from her sons’ wrath two times because yes she’s more powerful than Handan & is lucky to have more options than to watch and cry, feeling powerless ☹ It was truly something fresh and while it was totally historically false because truly Kemankeş got executed then and it’s hard to imagine any other scenario, especially since in the show he later walked everywhere with Kösem and lived in palace (so let’s be real it wasn’t a secret he survived later on show-wise) but I don’t mind it here. Much better than another teary melodrama with woman being powerless and just having to watch her loved one die.

Putting history aside, it was also meaningful ending for them from narrative perspective – they used the trope of forbidden lovers dying together and thus being finally able to be together in death – making Kösem lose will to live after seeing dead Kemankes & stop fighting for her life even once they stopped holding her thinking she was dead was a new twist on the formula (and to answer one of my recent asks - I love K&K, they are my OTP for MYK and IMO the most epic and well-written love story of the show 😊, but I will elaborate later, since you all know I usually try to wrtie exhaustive answers and as such can be slow in replying, as the asker of this question on Handan may surely ascertain lmao)

And maybe some bit of trivia about historical Handan, who actually wasn’t such an innocent angel (and frankly, she wasn’t one in the show as well, even though she wasn’t as cruel as some people around her, like Safiye or Halime, and it was mentioned she and Safiye had some understanding when the Mahmud matter was happening). There are some indications that Handan helped Safiye against Halime to remove Prince Mahmud. Quotes under the cut are taken from Günhan Borekçi’s Factions and Favourites at the Court of Sultan Ahmed I and his Immediate Predecessors.

Against this backdrop, Halime Sultan tried to persuade her husband to single out their eldest son Mahmud as his heir and send him to a province, just as Mahmud himself had wished. Clearly, the favorite concubine and her son had their supporters among the viziers and soldiers. Meanwhile, Handan Sultan, as the mother of the only other viable candidate for the throne, must have been alarmed by Halime’s actions and would have sided with Queen Mother Safiye Sultan in order to protect her own son, Prince Ahmed, if not to promote him for the throne instead of his elder brother. Handan may well have been the source of the rumor about Prince Mahmud’s infertility, since she had every reason to undermine him before the sultan decided on a successor. Mehmed III’s response to these machinations remains unclear.

And:

It was indeed a clash between Safiye Sultan and Halime Sultan that led to execution of Prince Mahmud, but this conflict also drew in Halime’s rival Handan Sultan, the mother of Prince Ahmed. Furthermore, it occurred in the absence of Gazanfer Agha, the powerful chief eunuch of the palace. The conflict among the three royal women was not unrelated to the soldiery revolts described earlier.

And:

Indeed, the English ambassador Lello and the Venetian bailo Contarini both indicate that Safiye Sultan was the mastermind behind the execution of Prince Mahmud, a solution which she apparently put forward in order not only to relieve the sultan of deposition anxiety but also to eliminate Halime Sultan, ofwhom she was reportedly “very jealous” (read threatened). According to Contarini, the queen mother had the open support of Handan Sultan in this scheme.

Gazanfer Agha’s execution not only altered the balance of power at the rebellion-weary imperial center but also changed the factional equation within the royal family. In the absence of Gazanfer Agha’s balancing authority, the rivalry between the party of Safiye Sultan and Handan Sultan, and that of Halime Sultan, spun out of control, resulting in the execution of the eldest prince of the dynastic family in mid-June 1603.

- Joanna