#julia tuffs

[hisuianhellion]

Trade you a pic of my typhlosion, Julia, for a pic of your Samurott

Thanks! Kari, @starlight-over-hisui

GLADLY

Have Nanami lookin' all gruff and tuff. He looooooves his chin scritchies, and likes people watching. He'll just sit outside, watching people go by for hours. It's great.

[linkhorrendouspotter]

CARMEN SANDIEGO CHARACTERS AS THINGS ME AND MY FRIENDS HAVE SAID

Player: (shows embarrassing picture of Carmen to her)

Carmen: How did you get that?!

Player: I have my ways

Carmen: In other words you met my acquaintances from VILE and since you all like to shit on me you found that. Either that or it was in a groupchat

Player: LMFAO NO

------------

Sheena: SOMEONE TURN HIS MOM SUCKING MY DICK A STICKER

-----------

Zack, texting under the desk in the middle of a meeting: WHY DO I HAVE TO BE IN THIS AHDHDH

Player: That's tuff I'm online

Ivy: what is this luck?

Julia: he's pint-sized they get privileges

----------------

Zari: I sense murder

Julia, immediately knowing who to look for: has anyone pissed off Carmen, Ivy, Player or Shadowsan today?

Zack: Why not me?

Cheif: You once had us hold a funeral because you accidentally killed a dragonfly instead of a flying cockroach

Zack: It was barely a funer-

Julia: It was a two hour ceremony with a chorus of five year olds and I had to did the hole. Yes, it was a funeral. Ass.

--------------

Jean Paul to someone who insulted Antonio: I'll shive

a grenade up your rectum

-------------

Gray: I'll FUCK you and you're mother

Neal: I mean I'm down but leave my mother out of this

-------------

Sheena, listing forms of punishment to a tied up Carmen and Gray since they pissed her off: I'll shove a dildo in your vagina

Gray: Was that for me or the midget?

Carmen: YOU DONT HAVE ONE

Gray: ITS SHEENA

Carmen: FAIR POINT

----------------

Carmen: I'll rip out your insides and feed them to you

Zack: Kinky

Icy: Not kinky, awful and gory

Zack: Exactly

[itsallhoney]

My favorite new releases from January 2023.

titles + spotify links below

Honey by Samia (indie pop)

I’m Not Sure at All by Marlody (art folk)

Hold the Door for Strangers by  Labrador (alt country)

Pensado mucho y mal by lusillón (indie pop)

Rush! by Måneskin (glam rock)

Absolute Heartbreak by Khai Dreams (indie pop)

Gigi’s Recovery by The Murder Capital (post-punk)

Good Thing We Stayed by Julia Wolf (pop)

Lobes by We Are Scientists (indie rock)

Horta da Luz by Falso Nove (indie rock)

On & On by José James (jazz)

Seeking the Sources of Streams by Cicada (classical)

A Situação by Sara Não Tem Nome (brazilian pop music)

Married in Mount Airy by Nicole Dollanganger (folk)

Leaving by Fran (indie folk)

Prize by Rozi Plain (folk)

Strays by Margo Price (country/folk)

To What End by Oddisee (rap)

Never Have I Ever by Naaz (pop)

Inamable by CATAROH (indie rock)

Smalltown Stardust by King Tuff (folk rock/pop)

Playscapes by Tuulikki Bartosik (neoclassical)

Farrago by La Battue (french indie pop)

Art School Dropout by Jamee Cornelia (rap)

O Paraíso by Lucas Santtana (jazz)

Derealised by Jadu Heart (indie rock)

Higher Lonely Power by Fireworks (pop punk)

Lyrics to Go, Vol. 4 by Kota the Friend (rap)

Gloria by Sam Smith (pop)

Before the Gloss Up by Gloss Up (rap)

Tale of Two Towns by Brandon Ratcliff (country)

Medium Gnarly by Swiss Army Wife (punk)

Remember Never Before by July Talk (alt rock)

Dream House by JW Francis (indie pop)

Dark Moon by GRMLN (lofi)

Uncertain Joys by The Subways (indie rock)

Deadfall by Roseville (indie rock)

Phosphorescent by Gabrielle Aplin (pop)

Vanishing by Nyte Skye (new wave)

Late Developers by Belle and Sebastian (indie pop)

II by Pure Adult (experimental rock)

Come Get Your Wife by Elle King (country)

Make the Most of It by New Found Glory (pop punk)

ID.Entity by Riverside (prog rock)

Sting by Emarosa (pop rock)

Picturesque by MOLLY (indie rock)

Everywhere, Everything by Polar (hardcore)

The Crowned by Ché Aimee Dorval (indie pop)

Het Niets by Véras (pop)

The Age of Spiral by Orkun A. (ambient)

[libidomechanica]

What, conscious Hand folly

A kimo sequence

               I

He had never on the serious. Her owne vertue hath no stain of Moore. What, conscious Hand folly.

               II

In sight could not. Called more: a thousand from June the origin her bloud friend. In pages the door.

               III

Sad case, and still these were sun and eek a frere wol fall, look on thy foot, the open ground. Their shoes.

               IV

To love, most stranger’s mind. To thought for, baith kisse thee, sweetness to embrac’d. Hyena foemen’s wrong.

               V

Load an oath desire. Who knew them spitously broke my hair blown about it. A belt of Time.

               VI

And Mars yaf me a mission. See fierce the woman close—From thee will anxious, and as his glory.

               VII

Yet mine I knew his body feels, and care, each other’s dart. Is faith, ye’re not melted downe dyd lye.

               VIII

And in a clothd with an eare. And now he’s glad to have TWO of fire. You see a kiss me, be love.

               IX

In equal. And tuff, amygdaloid and tempts of laughing lightnings quickly the crescent promise.

               X

And what now disjoin, whatever. Then in mail one day I mette of God and did raise tomatoes.

               XI

He puzzled; Julia was supernatural conduct by the tapers why didst arise—arise!

               XII

And after me with kindling brain, her grandson armed, o eyes, the north, in the misery! The same.

               XIII

My heart. On which after than myn housbondes, quod she, in patient forced to build the holy days.

               XIV

Thy worst of a make, then would vex, and let thee. Know the waters of love, my heart sae fu’ o’ wae!

               XV

If in my life might kiss all, nor pale enchantment toil and great. While and Julia’s eyes shall leisure!

               XVI

Not easy chearful of ragerye, the palsied hands. Soon as kindred birthday part, which makes no stars.

               XVII

He liked what’s my master reader will of men, she made his gravest citizen see! How would kill?

               XVIII

For Adonais; till to home winter and pass the Lord’s guilt confounded ice. All her mind is this?

               XIX

Away, wherewith both include those who her father, as we knowe what it a monster of six.

               XX

Ill affrontery, is more in green; and Parties, comply. For Nisus’ injur’d Hair did his hoold.

               XXI

She flesh and wherewith dew and devotion I would be no weltring Duncan, Nelson was. Cheek!

               XXII

At length into closet, of Donna Inez, to die so, and there! Intend, some huge rondure not.

               XXIII

Thou shalt obey, and for shame o’t. Man could utter’d the Noon of stormy mist; so swept down too.

               XXIV

Whan my bonie Jean. He story, the silver Bound, The joys refined, drag on Love’s first, that Desire!

               XXV

And then, but decorous alters hurt you. He will be my lovers, and fair; and would come your fate.

               XXVI

At first the floods no hymn whose articles depend on the most difference; Give me thus? To tinder.

               XXVII

Or which serve a knight, so warm? Devil’s so very to request, of fruitful in the Head. We meet.

               XXVIII

Plunge that comes: then yellow prest, than their shoes. There unstrung unable to the street, with endless Sky.

               XXIX

The heard; and and sorrow and dare to come, she said, My cousin Amy, speak plain English, many?

               XXX

If thy unworthy of youth not, she smile thine, or elles hadde enchantment to know it. Say nay!

               XXXI

Yet tikleth me birafte his were King Victorious Day. And help me God, I will I was this?

               XXXII

Which glorious flow, and desolate, she meads; wherefore? Once more I hear himself, into bed.

               XXXIII

No more—no more, one haukes lure. Since this Morning-tide, I only son with heavy—as a test.

               XXXIV

Had to stir? A globe, years, and looked at hoom as dropped to the sea. Where the sun’s domain and his head.

               XXXV

The ages, to goon and saw his warm, unnerved his cottage bench; an auld brass will bite. Creatures out.

               XXXVI

But ta’en by this only, call all the though my heart of man. And with grief- worn heart none lovely signs.

               XXXVII

And played with all the longinge. Every different Nations, keep your very same column; date, Falmouth.

               XXXVIII

I wish these, now blithe, now let them. The pull; fair Annie’s bark our glory fight, propped my hand could not.

               XXXIX

The clean, i’ll cross vibes. Faire, and ye sal gae and sang sae merry comrades, or call our own in wild!

               XL

Different from me; and you see the smother. If you’d best hoom; I have chose falls, where burnish’d to deck.

               XLI

Dare repeatedly, in truth alit, and hung heaps, she cold, caress. Numb were blow back toward casting.

               XLII

’ And dwellen in his dotage that hapless clay, they faint on his head might he. My horse we gain’d wing.

               XLIII

Truth you aught it may be mortal door I lay as wel of those loss—of the grave. Full of delight.

               XLIV

Of his nycetee. That a suit mighty titles, fal’n from the minds is o’er the place—but Verbum sat.

               XLV

It changes on the sea. Ye, woltow so got into gold in mourn she says god helped together.

               XLVI

Of horsemen. He had lost in vapours to call its sustained, and keep his home. Then stars. ’Re alike.

               XLVII

Rent talents find the Fates himself and speak. Two distance be dried his own time of warm and his feats.

               XLVIII

She might not wear your tied heart was tolde han my knee desired. The head, i’ll love her purchaser!

               XLIX

I leafe is the many-living him with tufts and refrain. Her fav’rite Lock! That froaths beloved!

               L

” Thus was he were now determined, which flies. Making lay, who found a ruin, with its self and grey.

               LI

Are quite agree: what to say! Life bloud congeal’d from the bad his obscure; he whole of common-place.

               LII

Torture not. And shook the Potter’s windows thre, that froaths below, set thee to tell me of the Hair.

               LIII

In an aged the Nymph in early pull him any mercy deere? Till time? He died, and the royallie.

               LIV

Is lyk a catering arms, he is o’er he went. Declining Love as I glide; that’s like the grave.

               LV

But Julia, who had a bonny son to understand for Corks. By the falwes, and keep his Heart?

               LVI

Ah wanton maids, in this I knew that Jhesu short, she saith. And is through the best he like the Sphere!

               LVII

Him in her Body chanced to go. His relinquisitions, not what’s out of tears and Despair.

               LVIII

Spirit, cared nooks, which men delight. They dances, by what art can find one of us thyn, pardee!

               LIX

Here ends the wind. The wine of Thy mother as they danced Albano’s boy, him up, it could be had.

               LX

Each shell is o’er a light were swarms that held it seemed very set, he ceased the green. They took you years.

               LXI

His man, wi’ an auld wife. Is like. They could not head, and do hear the dead. Actually marry. Day.

               LXII

So do our meant to given the ground, while, may seem so mean enough. Call you are forgotten years.

               LXIII

The door and still lessoned so, satisfied of thunder. Her Joy in girth, there’s beauty’s case.

               LXIV

To follow: a shouting, is much linen band. But true nobility of blood less dear delight.

               LXV

For reputations gives us ourselves where you hear homely wife. And al swich withal, they died.

               LXVI

Whatever at they found, I said, No, no. At which leans sinistered to catch the sacrifice.

               LXVII

Began the Snuff-boxes and palms. And straggled the Lock; ariel himself from an humble broom.

               LXVIII

But the shiver’d o’erstep their sockets, with true-heroics strain, draw near the thorn? How Vlster like thee!

               LXIX

Who my Childless spotted not. Big heart thought us, bats when he’s peevish and haste, and but to me.

               LXX

Date, their treasur’d though her yesterday. His refulgent Queen’s deep emotions glowing red, the sky.

               LXXI

Be within her son, and thought, and sit in meaning, by harbour shelf. When Husbandships go on so?

               LXXII

—Need I sing, which are my heart’s disgrace you canst not, like Tom Waits. Although quite by many danger.

               LXXIII

For, God it with an Hidalgo! In the Frere, I think I pick’d and flits are the decoys, they give?

               LXXIV

Must noble the abode wherefore tame leopards. The parted to stop. Artist, the walked to say.

               LXXV

I have a wyf in chase the Gnome! Of condition, The lovely colours the monks preferrė bigamye?

               LXXVI

Once, the sea of life; they be well-a-days is spring reverted be God, that thou not we feed?

               LXXVII

He stood like besmear’d with many scorn, good society is but if they loue. Eternal are.

               LXXVIII

As thou would: and when in the should come as winter, who dislike cancer and brow. The two ages.

               LXXIX

And speak for his gore, hey both for my Jean. And Juan the sea what I felt and the Samaritan?

               LXXX

He seemed to spill the doubt not thro’ mystic cares. Within our mind many a tiptoe, amorous?

               LXXXI

And burn your Eye, where you go. Beauty morn as the rosy heigh ho, how you cry. But Julia Fire!

               LXXXII

Thus dance the wors that cruel are. Perhaps that fooled. Waking on this same delights, white Boy is a gift.

               LXXXIII

To draw from; but for my neighb’ring Textures in: let not make a gentle Bells such, indeed the truth!

               LXXXIV

Of other melody, war piled on the sweet a flowers than raise you some half with me as I.

               LXXXV

Of garden, as mostly mine; I loathe through the Madeira to be wedded fyve! Me as is me!

               LXXXVI

Clay to raised to light.—Ah, Gossip led when she ever-silent was sloping there! And chance spray, St.

               LXXXVII

That are let us range eyes out. Til trewe wyf, do as the world of your labour’d himself: you are!

               LXXXVIII

I tell us, are extremes, I trowe, twenty- five yards from yonder, and is it thus it no synne!

               LXXXIX

As by constant to drink, a spider in what touch of heaven, and there. Meet and chastitee no cure.

[parkerbombshell]

Just Another Menace Sunday #557 w : Panama Wedding

Bombshell Radio Today Just Another Menace Sunday Today 6pm-8pm EST 3pm-6pm PDT 11pm-12am BST and Saturday 6am-8am EST 3am-5am PDT 11am-1pm BST This Week – Episode #557 A CONVERSATION WITH PANAMA WEDDING (08/31/2014) Theme Song Just Another Menace Sunday Theme (Dennis The Menace) - Mighty Six Ninety Hour 1 A CONVERSATION WITH PANAMA WEDDING OPENING SONG: All Of The People - Panama Wedding PANAMA WEDDING MUSICAL SANDWICH: OPENING BREAD: Uma - Panama Wedding Ram On - Paul McCartney Trust - Prince Thelma - Paul Simon How Do I Know - Here We Go Magic Call Me In The Afternoon - Half Moon Run Everybody Loves You Now - Billy Joel Sexy Sadie - The Beatles Fourth Time Around - Bob Dylan I've Seen All Good People - Yes She Drives Me Crazy - Fine Young Cannibals Dancing In The Dark - Bruce Springsteen CLOSING BREAD: Trust - Panama Wedding Hour 2 NEW MELODIC ROCK AND ROLL! OPENING SONG: Champions Of Red Wine - New Pornographers (Matador) War On The East Coast - New Pornographers (Matador) Eyes Of The Muse - King Tuff (Matador) Red Violins - The Gaslight Anthem (Island) Don't Count Me Out - TeamMate (Rostrum) Down - The Future Laureates (Self Release) Elevation - Erasure (Mute) Easy Money - Johnny Marr (Sire) Don't Make Me Over - Julia Holter (Domino) Shoot/100 Panes Of Glass - Love Inks (Self Release) Perfect Stranger - Grace Weber (Self Release) Girl I Want - The Vines (Self Release) Covered In Drapes - St. Tropez (Self Release) Summertime Blues - Eddie Cochran (Rhino) CLOSING SONG: Walk Don't Run - The Ventures (Liberty) Read the full article

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Review: Hexed by Julia Tuffs

All of my favourite YA books seem to feature girls fighting against what life is trying to give them and I had a craving for a witchy fix. So I requested Hexed and was delighted when I was accepted.

Jessie Jones' mum moves the family around a lot and they’ve recently settled on the Isle of Wight, where her mum grew up. Jessie wants nothing more than to keep a low profile at her new school but unfortunately for her, some long buried magical powers are about to come into their own and there isn’t much that Jessie can do about it. And it turns out that these new abilities might just come in handy when combatting the intense toxic masculinity and misogyny.

Jessie tries her hardest to be average because she hates the idea of the spotlight being on her. She has a snarky, occasionally sarcastic, voice and I knew exactly who she was from the very first page. I had no doubt that she had the potential to get things done and the story certainly revealed that to be the case!

I would have liked to see more interaction between Jessie and her sister Bella. They apparently go to the same school with just two years (I think) between them and yet I don’t think they see each other at school at all. We know at the beginning of the book that they aren’t very close but I expected Jessie to want to become closer to Bella sooner than she did, especially when they were both hit with the same bombshell at exactly the same time. As the book progresses, they do begin to repair their relationship and it was really lovely to see that unconditional sisterly bond still alive and well at the very end.

Jessie’s Nonna has the vibes of a ‘super witch’, who could probably do literally anything. She is a free-spirited, wise old lady who I really wanted to have delicious herbal tea with. I also really enjoyed the elemental approach to witchcraft that the book takes. These are the kind of witches who preach kindness and have complete respect for nature. Their magic is only used to bring about justice and reduce the amount of evil in the world. Perhaps we should all strive to use our own forms of magic to do the same.

A big theme of the book is the notion of changing yourself to fit in. It’s something that the vast majority of people do because it’s simply easier to get by in life, if you don’t stand out from the crowd. Jessie is quite critical of her classmates for doing this but she doesn’t even realise until it’s pointed out that she does it herself. She hides her smarts because she hates attention of any kind. Perhaps the most important message of the novel is that our differences and perceived ‘flaws’ that aren’t really flaws are the things that we should amplify and encourage other people to celebrate.

One thing that Jessie is great at is realising that everyone has multiple facets to their character. She takes the time to get to know popular girl Libby, who really isn’t very nice to her, and she learns that actually Libby has plenty of insecurities and struggles just like everyone else. Being willing to listen to our ‘enemies’ and try to come to a sort of understanding is a really admirable quality to have.

There is a point where Jessie does some research into her own family history and discovers the story of her ancestor Molly Downer. Molly lived in a time where she was villified for being who she was, like so many women both then and even now. Just like these stories are the inspiration for so many of our own feminist fights, It’s this that drives Jessie to tackle the own disgusting prejudices amongst the male population of her school. 

Sexism is still very prevalent in pretty much every aspect of society. Growing up female is a lot tougher than you’d think, if you were fortunate enough to not experience it. It’s much more subtle now and you’d be forgiven for perhaps not even noticing it but that doesn’t make it a problem of the past. If left unchecked, even these subtle examples, will show their effects on girls as they grow into women. Some may choose not to speak their mind in the presence of men because they expect to be interrupted. Some may not trust in their own opinions over that of a man because they’ve always been deemed as less important. Some may never reach their full potential because they were never given the space to explore their abilities. This book really made me think about all of tese things and how my own upbringing and education perhaps affected who I am now.

‘Be the change you want to see.’

Hexed is a fun, quirky YA book about fighting the patriarchy, female friendship and discovering your true power. There are some great characters arcs too and I loved how the author managed to weave in some very real issues such as toxic masculinity, consent, bullying and even climate change. Yes, it’s a witty witch fantasy but it reads very much like an issues-based contemporary, making it the best of both worlds!

[liquor-and-intellect]

Clouded- Part 4

In which Jules might or might not have feelings for her best friend, Harry, who is getting engaged to another girl and everything just becomes… more complicated.

or

friends to lovers to enemies to lovers- it’s complicated

previous parts

PART 4

Harry had left an hour later when I had reassured him multiple times that I was okay. There had laid a minute amount of tension between us still as we stood facing each other in the silhouette of my doorway, the moonlight running through my windows to highlight the contours of his face… the dip of his cheek bones… the curve of his chin... I knew that upon leaving this space, things would be different between us. We could never return to our normal state of familiarity with each other, no matter how many times the phrase “I need you” was exchanged.

That night I fell asleep restlessly. Waking up every hour to stare at my ceiling and think about how we weren't starting this “being friends” with complete honesty and transparency—and that was my fault.

I knew I would have to tell him eventually, but I wasn’t ready just yet. That didn’t mean I couldn’t take positive steps in the right direction though.

Before the morning light was even out, I was up with a single bag in tow, climbing my exhausted body out of the back seat of an Uber. London’s Euston Station was already alive with the bustling of early travelers claiming their first spots on the tube. It was a two and half hour ride to Holmes Chapel, with one stop and a train change halfway through.

The travel northwest was quick, my thoughts consuming me enough to keep me company. After a speedy tube change at the junction, I noticed the familiar scenery as we headed north towards Manchester Piccadilly, my home of Holmes Chapel coming into view over the rolling green hills.

I took a taxi at the Crewe Station, the address humming off my tongue like a second nature. We passed through the city limits and I felt the rise of familiarity overcome me as I gazed out onto the streets that stretched across. There was my school, there was my favorite restaurant, there was the place the cool kids would hang out on the weekends. Studying a park bench, I remembered Harry and I sitting on the jagged wood as his soothing words calmed the sobbing preteen who just went through her first break up.

This town held too many memories.

My house came into view as I placed one foot in front of the other down the sidewalk. My childhood home was a warm two-story house. When it was cold, you could find it with tuff of smoke billowing out of the chimney to fight the chilly air, the smell of warm bread drifting through the cracked window. And when it was warm, you’d see a dainty light-haired lady on her knees in the flower beds that bordered the front fence of the property, hands deep in mulch with her favorite gardening apron on. My father would be trimming the ivy that curved its way up to an upstairs bedroom window, but never too much because my mother loved the way it looked. I counted the number of pebbles on the stone walk way, taking note of the wooden porch swing that was rocking gently in the breeze.

My mother's face was priceless as she opened the door to my soft knocks. Her short blonde hair pinned away from her face and her morning robe still loosely woven around her petite frame. Sometimes—at times like these—I loved to look at her. I adored the way her nose was so familiar, because it sat on my face. Or the way her eyebrows raised ignited a nostalgia in me because I used the facial expression quiet often.

“Julia!” she exclaimed before a smile caught its way onto her lips. She grabbed my shoulders, wrapping me in such a familiar warm embrace. She still smelled like coffee and cinnamon, just like when I was younger.

“I wasn't expecting you, love,” she told me, pulling me through the door frame and closing the door behind her. I could smell the aroma of breakfast in the air and I suddenly missed her hot tea and biscuits.

“I-” I broke off, not exactly sure what to say. There was so much that had happened in the short time I haven't spoken to her. What was I supposed to say? “I, um, just felt like I needed to talk.”

Her eyes narrowed and I felt the way they evaluated me under her gaze. She was always so good at reading me, being able to notice when I was upset or hiding a sneaky teenage secret. This was a bit different though and I could tell that she knew it as well because she led me into living room, gesturing for me to take a seat on the patterned sofa.

“Let me get you some tea, dear.” She nodded. “Stay right here.”

I sighed a breath of relief. That was exactly what I needed right now.

When she passed the steaming cup into my hand, the sweet smell of it having already been given sugar warmed my heart. My poor mother who had no idea the damage that I had done.

“What's going on, Julia?” she whispered, her arm balancing on the back of the couch as she faced me, her legs being pulled up beside her.

“Mum...” I murmured, my eyes falling to my lap. “where do I even start?”

She pursed her lips. “How about we start from the beginning, yeah?”

I nodded. “That's where it gets a bit complicated…”

There was nothing more difficult then having this talk with my own mother. I always imagined when I told her I was pregnant, I would have the sweetest, most elaborate surprise planned. I could imagine the look on her face as she realized, with tears in her eyes, “I’m going to be a grandmother?” and I would nod, and we would laugh and I would look to my husband with pride-

But that wasn’t how it happened. Because now, I honestly didn’t know how to get through this without her. I didn’t know what doctors to go to, which home remedies helped morning sickness or— oh, God­­—how to even raise a fucking child. I was at the end of myself and I just needed my mum.

I sniffed and felt a tear run down the side of my cheek being set loose from the corner of my eye.

“Mum, I'm pregnant,” I whispered and I rode out the words with a soft sob as I tried to not fall apart. But there was something about being in such a safe space where all my walls didn’t need to be up. It was so easy to fall apart here, because I knew of how many times I had been put right back together under this roof.

I was too ashamed to look up at her, afraid to find judgment or disgust in her blue eyes that mocked the same color as mine. It would be too much to bear. That was until I felt her thumb brush under my cheek bone, catching the salty tear that had been released.

“Come here, my darling,” she finally breathed and that was it. That was all it took for me to fall forward into her arms and relish the feeling of being held as I let every piece of myself heave in exhaustion. “It is quite alright to cry, let it all out and then we will talk.”

She had always been good at being the calm individual in the family. Her words being the peaceful mediation when my dad would yell at me for coming in late or for wondering why I wasn't with Harry when I had said I would be. I had such a good mother and I had neglected that for so long—how was I going to be able to amount to the woman holding me together right now?

“Are you positive?” she asked me when my sobbing had died down and I laid limp in her strong arms.

I nodded against her, my head tucked neatly in the space between her collarbone and chin. “I took multiple tests...” I whispered. “and I've been very sick lately.”

“Do you know who the father is?”

That was the question I didn't want to answer. My mother was in the social loop with Anne… so she was certainly aware of the fact that he was most definitely getting married in the matter of mere months. There was no way that I could tell her that I had slept with my best friend and potentially ruined our future relationship and most likely his soon to be marriage. I didn't want to be seen as that low— even though I was surely feeling that way.

“Yes,” I mumbled. “I know who the father is.”

She didn't push me any further for the moment, but I knew her patience of me avoiding that answer would soon grow to an end. Eventually I would have to tell everyone and I dreaded that with everything inside of me.

I drank the tea, wishing desperately that it would solve all my problems like it healed the common cold. My mother and I talked more and I felt the weight slightly shift on my shoulders as if it was ready to be lifted. Letting someone else know besides Jeff was one step further to where I needed to be.

My mum told me of a local OBGYN here in Holmes Chapel that was at the same clinic she went to when she was pregnant with me. It was a very close friend of a friend. I called shortly after lunch and was lucky enough to schedule an appointment for the next day.

“Do you want to stay the night and I'll go with you in the morning?” she asked me when I had finished setting my plate in the sink.

I nodded. “That would be nice… Thank you.” I gave her a small smile, letting her know that I appreciated everything she was doing for me.

That night I laid in my old childhood bedroom, memories pulling at my heart strings as I glanced briefly at all the pictures taped lazily on my walls. My first dance, a beach trip with Harry, a birthday party, Halloween. My chest ached suddenly when my eyes gazed over a photograph of Harry and I before he went into his second X Factor audition. His hair was a bed of curls, tall and light brown but his smile still radiant and his irises still dancing. He had both arms around me, his chin completely missing the top of mine by inches as he had pulled me into his chest. I had been so excited for him that day, I knew that they would have to take him back. There was no way they could listen to Harry Styles and turn away as if they had not experienced pure talent from such a radiant human being.

I swallowed and looked away. He didn't deserve for me to do this to his life.

My eyes had started to close when I heard the vibrating of my phone going off on the bedside table. My vision clearing when I saw the caller ID reading: Jeff (Harry’s Manager).

“Hello?” I asked, my voice still groggy.

“Julia,” he greeted. “how are you?”

I sat up on my elbow, officially awake. “Fine...” I answered, wondering what it was that he had called me for. “is everything alright?” Something must have happened to Harry.

“Yeah,” he breathed, allowing me to sigh in relief with him. “I called to asked you the same thing. Harry says you two are officially trying this friend thing?”

I pursed my lips. “Yeah, we are,” I mumbled. “I don't know how long that's going to last though.”

“So, I assume you haven't told him?” he asked. “He most likely would have told me if he knew.”

“No, not yet... It was sudden and he wanted to be friends again with honesty and I just didn't have the heart to tell him... I just couldn't do it.” I laid back down on my back, my free hand falling limp by head. “I'm at my mother's house for the night, I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. I'm trying to take steps in the right direction and telling Harry is next on my list.”

He let out a long breath. “Just remember that the longer you wait to tell him, the more hurt he's going to be. He's going to need time to sort out everything with Elaine, the wedding, and me and the management team. They aren't going to want something like this leaking into the press.”

The breath immediately left my lungs. “I- I don't want to ruin his career...”

“Julia,” he interrupted my upcoming words with a stern voice, his accent blending the letters together like a mosaic. “this isn't your fault alone. Stop blaming this on yourself. Stop acting like this was all your doing when it was as much as Harry's as well.”

I took a deep breath, nodding even though he couldn't see me.

“You don’t need to have everything figured out when you tell him, but just be in a healthy mindset,” he continued talking, taking my silence as acceptance. “He's going to need you to be strong for the him when he finds out. He won't be able to handle it alone.”

“Okay,” I whimpered, swallowing back my pride.

“Get some rest now.” His voice had dropped lower, as if trying to convince me that I needed sleep. “God knows you need it.”

***

I sat in the creaky plastic chair in the waiting room, surrounded by the swollen bellies of women around me. My mother perched next to me, her calm posture winding up my nerves even more. She was being so supportive that it ripped my hear to shreds. I didn’t deserve it.

“Julia,” a nurse called as she stepped through the doorway and I felt the eyes of everyone around me land onto my rising figure.

Gingerly, I stood up and followed her into the hallway, my mum's shoes clapping behind us. The nurse politely weighed me on a scale and continued to taking blood samples and vitals. She led me to a separate room where I sat down tensely on the plastic covered bed.

We sat in the quiet for a few moments before the sound of my phone ringing pulled me from my reverie. Of course, I sighed, it was Harry. He had impeccable timing.

“Hi,” answered tersely, trying to loosen the strings in my voice, knowing all too well he could read me like an open book.

“Hey, Jules,” he greeted, curiosity leaking into his voice. “I was just waiting to go in for a performance in London. Thought I'd give you a call.”

I nodded. “Thanks, I didn't know you were performing today.”

My mother's eyes widened in realization that I was talking to Harry and a small smile crept onto her lips.

“Yeah, it was kind of sudden for all of us.” He let out a breathy chuckle and I could just imagine his hand running through his hair. “What are you doing?”

My heart dropped at the question and I pushed at every bone in my body not to pull another lie into this relationship. “I'm at the doctor's… in Holmes Chapel actually,” I mumbled, he didn't have to know what kind of doctor.

“You went all the way there for a doctor's appointment?” he asked as if he was surprised. “Is everything all right? Are you okay?” I could psychically feel his worry seeping through my cellphone.

“No! I'm fine, Harry. Everything's alright,” I assured him. It was further from the truth, but I couldn't say that or he would strangle himself with worry.

He let out a breath. “Alright… just let me know if anything isn't—okay, I mean.” There was a shuffling around on the other end. “You need to tell your doctor about the panic attacks you've been having.” His voice was lower now as if he didn't want people overhearing.

I pulled my lips into my mouth. “Yeah, I forgot about that. It's not a big deal, though.”

“Jules!” His voice was reprimanding. “Of course it's a big deal. What would have happened if I hadn't showed up?”

I sighed, dragging my hand down my face. “I don't know.”.

Right then the door opened and an older lady with a lab coat strolled in, her iPad resting in her hand. “How are we doing today?” she asked.

“Harry, I have to go. I'll call you later,” I told him.

After he had hung up, I looked expectantly into the bright and warm eyes of the doctor. She had gray hair that grazed her shoulders, and wrinkles around her mouth from years of smiling. Her kind demeanor gave me a sense of comfort and allowed me to relax in my seat a bit more.

“So, we're five weeks, yeah?” she asked, sitting on the stool in front of me and crossing her legs.

I nodded.

Her short hair swished around her as she nodded at my confirmation. “I'm Dr. Kelly,” she introduced, sticking her hand out for me to shake. “and I'll be your OB today and possibly moving forward in the pregnancy. Nice to meet you two.”

After briefly shaking her hand, my mother spoke before I could introduce myself, “I'm Linda and this is my daughter, Julia.”

She smiled and proceeded to ask the standardized questions, making notes on her iPad in front of her.

“Do you have any asthma?” she asked. “Or any form of anxiety problem?”

My immediate response was about to be no before I stopped myself, thinking of the precious panic attacks that I had experienced. “I- um- actually have had two panic attacks in the past month,” I told her.

My mum's head whipped around to look at me, her lips parted in astonishment because I hadn’t told her.

Dr. Kelly's eyebrows drew together as she observed me. “Can you describe these for me, love?”

I took a deep breath, thinking of the drowning feeling I had gone through, the sense of suffocation and closing in walls. “I felt as if there was a weight on my chest and I couldn't actually see what was in front of me, it was all just blank.”

“How long did this last?” she asked, her pen scribbling away.

I pursed my lips, trying to push myself back to that first night when Harry had found me in my room. “Fifteen minutes… about thirty until I was okay.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” my mum interrupted, her eyes wide like moons with worry.

Averting my gaze to my lap, I said, “Harry was there for both of them and his worry would have been enough for the both of you. I didn't think it was that serious.”

“Well,” the doctor interrupted. “it might have not been that big of a deal before, but now that you are with a child it can be a lot more dangerous. What if you fall during a panic attack? Or pass out? Stop breathing? These are all risks that you have to be aware of.”

I nodded, feeling shameful.

“I'm going to prescribe you a small dosage of anxiety medicine along with some prenatal vitamins. Take this every night and it should help with the panicking feeling you experience before escalating into a panic attack.”

She went over more rules with me, setting up ultrasounds appointments and the timeline of the next few months. How my body would be changing and what I should expect from hormones or sleeping behavior. It was so much to take in I could feel the stress in my chest as I tried to remember what the last thing she had said was when she started a new topic.

“I also recommend to stay away from seafood,” she continued. “just because of the possible bacteria that could be inside of it can sometimes be harmful for the baby.” She glanced down at her screen, sliding to a next page as she scanned her notes. “Also, you should know to drink no alcohol...” she mumbled as if it was a second thought.

When the appointment ended, I was physically exhausted. There was too much to soak in and I could already feel that these next months coming up were going to be the most challenging yet. I really needed to get my shit together.

…

I had said my goodbyes to my parents later that day and got a train back to London, denying the money my mum offered to pay for the ticket. I didn't need to be in debt with anyone, if I was going to be a mother I needed to take responsibility for myself and the first step I could take into that direction was by paying for my own tube ride. Maybe it was a control issue… maybe not.

My apartment was small and welcoming when I opened the creaking door. The gray walls wanting to draw me into their embrace and pull me back to familiar territory. I took a deep breath and laid the packet of information I had been given by the doctor next to the fresh bottle of prescription pills.

It was starting to feel real now and the next thing I had to do was tell Harry. Or at least attempt to tell him. But just like Jeff had said, I needed to pull myself together as much as possible before laying the news onto him. I had to be prepared to be strong for the both of us. I had to be able to handle whatever he threw at me when he found out. People had a tendency to do irrational things when put into stressful situations.

An hour later my phone began ringing and I trampled from my bathroom before my voicemail could catch it.

“Hey,” I answered Harry breathlessly, falling onto my couch from my exertion of running down the hallway.

He chuckled on the other end. “Hi there. What were you doing? Running a marathon?”

“More like my hallway.”

“Maybe you should work out with me some time,” he suggested and I could practically feel his light laughter brush my cheek as he chuckled to himself through the phone.

“I know this phone call wasn't to try and get me to work out again, because I already told you last time that the argument is only a dead end,” I laughed and pushed a hand through my hair.

“Okay, it actually isn't,” he replied. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to join me and a few friends out tonight— you know, just a small, private club.”

“Define a few friends.”

Harry swallowed. “Uh, Elaine and the band. I think a few of Jeff’s wife’s friends were joining…”

I pulled my lips into my mouth. Not my definition of a good night if that's what he wanted to know.

“Remember,” his voice was noticeably lower. “we were going to try being friends again. This is a good start.”

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. Why not? “Okay,” I told him.

The cracks of his smile breaking sounded through the phone and I couldn't help but smile along with him. He had a strange way of doing these things to me. Harry was contagious.

“Meet us there at eight?” he asked. “I'll text you the details.”

I agreed and hung up to get dressed. What would pushing everything aside for one more night do? I'll let Harry have fun and I'll break the news soon. Just give him a little more time.

I dressed in a loose black t-shirt dress with a large tan sherpa coat and ankle boots. Pushing my dark hair off my shoulders, I grabbed my purse and walked into the dropping London evening air. My exposed legs were suddenly feeling like a bad idea, I thought as I rushed to grab an Uber on the corner of the busy college street.

The heater was on full blast as I pushed myself into the backseat, telling the driver the address Harry had texted me. It was a private club in the high end of London, Harry and his friends had probably rented it out for the evening. The usually did that when they didn't want the paparazzi having any kind of interference.

I stepped back into the biting cold when the taxi stopped on the corner of the street, my boots tapping against the sidewalk as I pulled on the door handle of the entrance.

There was a short hallway that led to another set of doors, the music seeping from underneath the hinges.

The bouncer's eyes landed on me. “Name?” he asked, his broad shoulders clad in a black blazer and dress shirt. I knew Harry and his friends probably paid him well for performing security on a Thursday evening for them.

“Julia Lovewick,” I said and gave him a polite smile as he opened the door for me.

It wasn't much a club as it was a small lounge with loud music and sleek granite topped bar. The twinkling black tiles mesmerizing as they laid underneath huge circular couches and an open dance floor. The music didn’t pound  the inside of your ears like a normal club, but eased itself through the speakers with a pleasurable tone. As I walked further into the bar, the warm sound of laughter echoed underneath the soft tones of guitar as I recognized Harry’s friends, along with some I haven’t seen before.

“Jules!” a voice called and my heart leaped at it's lovely vibrato. His voice calling my name was my favorite thing.

“Hey,” I smiled and turned to give Harry a loose hug. I didn’t want to squeeze too tight in fear of pushing the boundaries we’ve placed—along with the ones in my own heart as well. Harry didn’t mind though because he gave me a hard embrace for a single breath before pushing away.

“I'm glad you could make it,” he whispered low enough for only me to hear. His green eyes stared into mine for a beat too long. His way of letting me know how thankful he was that I showed. “Everyone's over here.” He motioned with his hand and I followed him to the corner of the room where a group of his friends were sitting in a round booth.

I noticed Glenne, Jeff’s girlfriend first. She smiled at me, her pink lips stretching over her teeth. She had always been one of the girls I had grown closest too out of Harry's friends, I guess that's why I had suddenly had this connection with Jeff. “Julia!” she greeted and stood up to wrap her arms tightly around me.

“Hey,” I laughed. “It’s been a minute.”

With one arm around my shoulders, she playfully glared at Harry. “You didn't tell me the life of the party was going to show up, I might have saved a few drinks for her.”

“Who's shown up?” a voice asked, high heels clicking with it.

I looked over Glenne’s shoulder to see Elaine approaching the group, her long tan legs stretching miles up to her short sequined, skin tight dress, a closed lip smile on her face.

“Julia has!” Glenne continued, oblivious to the tension that seemed to slip between Harry, Elaine and I. “Harry wanted to keep her a surprise for us!” Her ring clad finger tapped the tip of my nose playfully.

“Alright, alright,” Jeff chuckled, wrapping his arm around Glenne’s waist, pulling her away from me. “someone needs to slow down on drinks here.” His bright eyes landed on her lovingly.

Glenne’s mouth dropped and her hand landed on her chest. “Slow down?” she asked incredulously. “Julia just got here! That means speed up if anything.” She reached to the table handing me a small shot glass and taking one herself. “Drink up, love”

I stared at it, feeling my stomach tie in knots. “No… no thank you. I'm okay,” I reassured her, my voice shaking slightly as I set the glass back down on the table. I tried my best to act as causally as possible, but I swear the shaking in my hand as I shoved the glass away was as visible to everyone as Harry’s love of bad jokes.

“C'mon,” she cheered. “the night is still young.”

I shook my head. “Really, I don't need anything.”

“Julia-” she groaned.

“Glenne, love, she doesn't want to drink,” Jeff cut her off, looking into her eyes seriously. “leave her alone.”

His eyes met mine over the top of her blonde head and I gave him a tight smile. I could tell that he understood exactly. I hadn’t assumed Jeff would tell Glenne… but I understood if he would have. Me being pregnant was a large and very catastrophic secret. I had assumed at the end of the day when he was at home he would have let it slip to his girlfriend the mess of my life that I dragged him into. The small amount of comfort it gave me that he hadn’t shared my secret grew my trust for Jeff, allowing me to exhale just a bit more.

Glenne—tipsy and unaware of the everything— rolled her eyes and shrugged, pushing the liquid down her throat before slamming the glass on the table.

“You sure you don't want anything?” Harry asked from beside me, his green eyes too large and too unknowing.

“No, not tonight,” I told him, giving him a smile.

“Ah, Julia,” Elaine said, walking up to Harry and laying her hand on his shoulder. “if you can't hold your alcohol, just say so.” Her long eyelashes batted at me in such an annoying way.

I laughed lightly. “I remember distinctively last year when a certain someone was throwing up in the streets after—what was it, Elaine? Three? Or was it two drinks?” I asked her, keeping my tone light so it would sound like only friendly banter, but the glare in her eyes made it obvious it was most definitely not.

“I hadn't been feeling well that day,” she defended, an obvious blush rising on her cheeks.

Harry's eyes flickered back from both of us, trying to gauge exactly what he should say or do, an obvious discomfort in the way he stood. “Elaine, darling,” he told her, wrapping his hand around her wrist. “let's go talk to Jack, I heard Diane was in town.” And he pulled her away, because he knew exactly what was going on.

I watched them walk away together hand in hand, the stunning knight pulling the damsel in distress away from harm. It hurt—I was lying if I said it didn't.

Turning my gaze back to the group in front of me, I took a seat in the open chair, guessing I shouldn't wait around for Harry to return.

“Why haven't I seen you around lately?” asked Mitch, leaning his forearms onto the table in front of him. He pushed one hand through his dark brown locks, causing them to pull away from his forehead as his friendly gaze landed on me.

I pursed my lips, thinking of my absence from Harry's social life in the past month. Things hadn't exactly been the best between us. “Been busy with homework,” I yelled over the music that seemed to only get louder with the minutes.

He winked, letting out a light laugh as he tilted his drink back. “I'd say that too,” he mocked playfully.

“Believe me when I say I have been far from the parties lately,” I assured him, shaking my head at his playful teasing.

“Harold!” an all too familiar Irish accent called, followed by a stumbling blonde man who collapsed next to me.

“Niall!” Harry called back from across the bar, waving at his drunk friend. I had a feeling this wasn’t the first time they had greeted each due to his inebriated state.

Niall swung his head around, his big blue eyes falling on me. It had been a while since I had seen him, since their One Direction days were behind him. When Niall visited London, it wasn’t uncommon for him and Harry to meet up. He was the only ex-band member that Harry bothered to keep up with.  “You going to introduce me to... your friend?” His pearly smile flashed at me as he directed his question to Mitch.

I couldn't help but start laughing. I had met Niall plenty of times, but the effects of alcohol seemed to push those memories aside.

Mitch played along. “Yeah, Niall,” he said. “this is my friend, Julia. Julia this is my very wasted friend, Niall.” He gestured to Niall's slumping posture.

“Hi!” I told him. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“You are very pretty,” he stated, his large blue eyes taking me in.

I giggled and glanced back at Mitch who had his head tilted back in laughter.

“Ya know,” Niall continued. “you look like someone I know.”

I leaned on the table, resting my chin in m my open palm. “Is that right?”

His eyes narrowed as he nodded furiously. “Yeah. She's really pretty too. Harry always talks about her.” He leaned in closer to me, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Sometimes…” he slurred. “I think—” hiccup “— that he likes her. But don't tell Elaine because-she-doesn't.”

I bit my lip, if only he could be any further from the truth.

“Niall...” Mitch groaned, rolling his eyes.

“What?” he asked, looking up innocently. “Elaine doesn't like anyone.”

Mitch’s eyes widened, leaning across the table to look at him. “Shh! Could you be any louder?”

“Eh.” Niall shrugged. “I'm too drunk for that.” He took a long sip from his beer.

“Julia. Long time no see.”

I looked up from the table to see Emi Prendergast with a wide smile on her orange lips and her sun-kissed blonde hair curled messily around her face. “Here,” she said, laying a glass on the table. “heard that we were the only ones not drinking tonight, so I thought I'd bring you a water.”

“Thank you,” I told her appreciatively, I had been getting thirsty. “And I know… it's been a while since I've been out.”

“Em!” Niall cheered, slinging an arm around my shoulder. “Doesn't she remind you of Julia?”

Emi looked back between me and Mitch, the corner of mouth tugging upwards as she tried not laugh. “Yeah,” she agreed, nodding her head as if she was talking to a child. “she really does.”

Niall nodded as if he knew he was right the entire time.

“Except I call dibs on her,” he continued. “Harry wouldn't let me within flirting distance of Julia.”

“Flirting distance?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. I said she was pretty and then he told me that I wasn't allowed to flirt with her because that was his best friend.”

Mitch’s face fell in his hands as he shook his head.

“But good thing you're not her. I called dibs on you,” he repeated.

I rolled my eyes and took a sip of my water.

From where I was sitting, I could see Harry making his way back over to our table, winding his way through a throng of people. He looked good tonight. His button up shirt was slightly transparent, so the outline of his scattered ink could be seen as the shirt shifted around him. The top was tucked into a pair of wide-legged slacks that traveled up the expanse of his legs, accenting his narrow hips. He could make anything look good.  Staring at him I wondered if he knew just how toxic he really was. The man could pout that lip and I'd follow him to the ends of the earth.

“Looks like I missed something...” Harry’s deep velvety voice lilted my ears. He stopped in front of the table to stare at Niall's arm that was resting around my shoulders.

“Ya did!” Niall answered. “I called dibs.”

Harry raised an eyebrow at him, taking a seat across from us. “Dibs?”

“On her.”

Noticing his confused expression, Mitch clarified, “Niall says that Julia looks just like Julia but since it's not Julia he has called dibs.” He gestured with his glass before taking a sip.

Niall stared at him, his mouth slightly hanging open. “No, I called dibs because she's pretty.”

Mitch rolled his eyes.

“You can't call dibs on Julia,” Harry argued, something settling in his eyes as he frowned at him.

“Yes, I can, lad.” He nodded. “This isn't the Julia you told me to stay away from, this is another that looks just like her. That's why I can call dibs.”

Harry's eyes flickered back to me, hoping I didn't catch the slip about Niall being told to stay away from me.

I pretended I didn't and took a sip of my drink.

“What's going on here?” Elaine said too loudly. Her voice too high pitched for my sensitive ears. She slid onto Harry's lap, her arm falling loosely around his neck.

I looked down at the table.

“Looks like someone is getting cozy over here, Harry,” she sang, while she eyed me and Niall.

“They are not getting cozy,” Harry said sternly, his jaw tense.

Niall leaned in towards me, his face inches from my own. “Maybe we can get cozy at my place after this, yeah?” he attempted to whisper, but his state seemed to deceive him because it was practically yelled for everyone to hear.

Before I could respond, Mitch erupted into laughter next to us, his head tilted back and his eyes screwed shut. I bit back my smile, trying my best to not laugh along with him.

“He thinks I'm kidding,” Niall huffed and let go of me to slump back in his seat and take a long sip of his glass.

I couldn't help but chuckle at how completely drunk he was.

“They'd make a cute couple, wouldn't they, Haz?” Elaine asked, her hand brushing its way through his hair.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mitch roll his eyes.

Harry bit his cheek, making no acknowledgment that Elaine—obnoxiously—hanging over him. “He's not her type,” he mumbled.

I watched him curiously,

She traced her finger across his plump lip and I felt the urge to get out of my seat and throw up. “Oh, you don't know what she wants.”

“Aye, lads!” Niall cheered, pulling himself clumsily up onto his feet in the chair. Obviously, he was unaware of the awkward tension that Elaine had just created. “can I have a toast?”

“Niall, sit down, you drunk,” Mitch scolded as he fought off a tugging smile.

He shook his head, the movement causing him to sway back and forth on his feet and I instinctively reached up to grasp his hand, allowing him to steady himself. “I'm not that drunk.”

Harry's green eyes grew bigger. “Yeah, you're pretty wasted, lad, maybe you should get down.”

“Whoa, what did I miss?” Adam asked as he strolled toward the table, a look of confusion on his face as he eyed Niall cautiously who was still standing and swaying with a drink in his hand.

“I'm making a toast, that's what you missed!” Niall yelled back at him.

Adam smiled, sitting down next to Emi. “Don't want to miss this,” he muttered, trying to hide the urge to laugh.

“Excuse me, everyone!” he yelled, looking out to everyone around us. “I would like to make a toast.”

Mitch leaned back in his seat, shaking with laughter.

“I want everyone to know that I have called dibs on Julia!” Before anyone could form a response, he threw his head back and downed the rest of the glass.

My face fell in my hands as I joined Mitch in laughing, my shoulders shaking up and down. As much as I hated being around Harry and Elaine while they were being an annoying couple, I was glad I had come out tonight. Even if it was for a short time, I needed to feel the bubbling of giggles in my stomach and light air of being around friends. It was hard to live a life without those experiences, I knew from firsthand experience when attempting to distance myself these past few weeks.

I knew it wouldn’t last long, but I was willing to soak up as much of it as could at this particular moment in time.

…

Harry's P.O.V

I leaned back in my chair, watching Julia shake with laughter. Her eyes squeezed shut and her lips stretching all the way from ear to ear. Her hands were gathered in front of her chest, a gesture she normally did when she laughed. She was so mesmerizing.

“Hey.”

I averted my attention to the girl who was sitting daintily on my thighs, the one who wore my ring on her finger.

She moved my chin to face her, trying to get me to listen.

“Pay attention to me,” she giggled, trying so hard not to sound rude when in reality she wanted to. El always did that. She always tried to soften the blow of her words with a slick smile or the bat of her eyelashes. She demanded attention.

“I am,” I told her softly, dragging my gaze away from Niall who was scooting closer to Jules.

She shifted in my lap so she was blocking my view of them. “Are we going to go venue shopping tomorrow?”

I swallowed. All I've heard about this past week and a half is the wedding. What colors, what dresses, what style, what theme. Harry, what kind of table cloths? Should I invite a talk show host for the publicity? It was everywhere I turned—I couldn't escape it.

“Yeah, sure. If you want,” I told her.

She nodded. “Well, I do. I think I want to look at the huge event center here in London. The one with a lot of seating.”

I nodded. Of course she did.

“What about the one in Holmes?” I asked for what felt like the hundredth time.

Elaine's nose wrinkled. “I told you I didn't like that one,” she said again. “it's too tacky.”

That was a new one. Usually she would tell me it was too small or in the middle of such sketchy street. This was the root of the problem, it was now too tacky. Ever since I was little I wanted to get married in that building. Of course I would give the bride her say because this day was all about her, but it still would have been nice for consideration.

“Harry!” I looked up at Adam’s voice. “do you remember what time we were supposed to meet the band at the studio tomorrow night?” He had his arm wrapped around Emi’s shoulder, her back leaning into him casually.

“Six,” Jeff answered, walking up to the table with Glenne just behind him.

Niall glanced at his watch. “Well,” he said, his accent much more heavier than usual with the amount of alcohol he had been consuming. “It's 12 already, we might as well start heading there.”

The table was silent. Drunk Niall tended to forget that we weren’t in a band together anymore.

“You have time, Niall,” Julia said gently, her lips shaking slightly as she bit back a giggle. Her  hand landed on his arm as he went to stand. “wait a while and you can all go together.”

“Don't worry, love!” he told her and I felt my heart clench with it. “I'm just going to the bathroom, I'll be back.” His grin was wide as he smiled at all of us before stumbling drunkenly towards the other side of the room.

Mitch sighed and put his hands on the table before standing up. “I'm going to go make sure he doesn't go into the wrong room.” His curls fell around him as he shook his head before following him.

Glenne took a seat by Julia, leaning in closely to whisper something in her ear that caused them both to start giggling. She had always gotten along very well no matter what kind of atmosphere she was thrown into. Julia could walk up to a stranger and make friends in a second, she was just that way. People liked her.

I guess that's why we had gotten along so well over the years. I had been so quiet and reserved when I was younger and when I was with her, I actually had a chance at feeling normal. I had been her trusty sidekick as she flew about talking to everyone in the room once before finally settling. It was just her—it was just Julia.

“What are you two giggling about over there?” Emi asked with a glint in her eye. There was some unspoken girl-talk going on between the three.

Elaine cleared her throat on my lap, looking down at her hands. She had never really hit it off with the mate's girls.

“What are they talking about?” Jeff asked, taking a seat by Glenne, eyeing them playfully.

“Tell me if I'm wrong,” Glenne began. “but it seems as if Niall has a bit of a crush on Julia.”

“You're wrong,” I told her immediately without thinking, the words had just forced themselves past my lips before I could stop them.

Adam lifted an eyebrow. “I think you're wrong here, lad,” he told me.

I could feel Julia's eyes on me.

“He doesn't like, Julia,” I said exasperatedly. There was no way— Niall couldn't like her. “He's just drunk.”

Julia swallowed and looked down.

Adam kept it going though. “Niall only exaggerates when he's drunk, that means those feelings have to have come from somewhere.” He didn't see that my jaw muscles were already tensed or that I was rolling my eyes.

“Like I said,” I told him, hoping he would drop it. I didn't want to talk about this anymore. “he's just drunk.”

Julia's P.O.V

My chest tightened at Harry's words. Was it really so difficult to accept that someone could like me? He made it sound that the only way a man could think I was pretty is if he was drunk. I felt the tears in the back of my throat as I struggled to swallow them down.

“Excuse me,” I mumbled, pushing my chair back from the table and desperately searching for some kind of oasis from this situation. I didn't want these people to see me cry.

Walking to the hallway where Niall disappeared to, I followed the tile where a small exit door sat. I needed some air— some kind of relief.

Harry didn't think. He didn't realize that his words were harsh and were cutting me to the core. I know that I had just been his second choice- a mistake even- but that didn't mean he had to humiliate me in front of his friends.

I pushed the door open, welcoming the cool night air as it hit my flushed face. Maybe it was just my hormones, the doctor had warned be about those.

Leaning against the brick wall of the alley, I sucked in a deep breath. I just needed to take a minute to calm myself down, then I'll go back in there. Maybe no one caught my damp eyes or shaking hands, maybe they just thought I had to go to the bathroom.

The door opened behind me, followed by a soft, “Julia.”

When I focused on Jeff walking through the threshold, I realized then, that I had hoped it would be Harry.

“Are you okay?” he asked, standing across from me and leaning against the opposite wall. His hand shoved into his black leather jacket as his moonlit eyes took me in, looking for a crack in my rigid posture.

I nodded.

“I don't think he meant it like that—”

“I know what he meant, Jeff,” I whispered. “It's okay. I just needed some air.”

He shook his head. “No, you obviously don't understand.” He pushed himself away from the wall. “He's just jealous—”

“Don't say that to me,” I replied, my voice as thin as paper. “Please, I'm begging you. You can't say those things to me.”

“Julia! It's only true, why can't you see it?” he shouted, his voice louder as he pulled at his hair in frustration.

“Because!” I screamed back. “If I see it, then I'll believe it and if I believe it then this will hurt so much more than it already does, okay?”

He glared at me, something shifting behind his eyes as he breathed through his nose.

“I don't even know why you care,” I sighed, throwing up my hands.

His eyes finally broke away from mine as he looked towards the end of the alley way. “Because,” he murmured. “I don't want him to ruin his life. Harry would do the same for me and I only want to return the favor. He's different when he's with you.”

“People change,” I whisper, but before he could respond the door opened for the third time tonight. This time, a disheveled looking Harry coming through, his eyes landing on the two of us in confusion.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his eyes widening.

Jeff, who had fallen back against the wall, pushed himself from it, walking past Harry and holding the door open. “We were just talking.” The slam of the metal door punctuating his sentence.

Harry looked back at me, but I averted my gaze to the ground.

“Are you mad at me?” he asked.

I sighed. “No, Harry. I'm just tired.” I was mad though, but I knew I had no right to be from all the secrets I was keeping.

“No. You’re mad,” he stated.

I shook my head. “It doesn't matter any way.”

“But it does.”

I looked up to him. Why was he being so relentless?

Harry moved closer to me, his green eyes as big as the secrets between us. If I could, I’d fall right into them.

“No, it doesn't,” I said slowly, looking him straight in the eyes. I didn't want him pushing me right now when I was already so close to an edge.

Harry's arms crossed over his chest, the muscles distracting me as they moved under his tanned skin. “There's something you're not telling me,” he stated.

I took a deep breath. “There's a lot of things I'm not telling you,” I murmured.

He didn't move, but his eyes eternally frozen on me as so many thoughts and emotions passed behind them. I couldn't catch a single one, they were so sudden and quick it left me dizzy.

There wasn't time to catch my breath before he took a step closer and crushed our lips together. All my willpower demolishing along with it.

…

It was right after Harry pressed his lips against mine that a fire ignited in the pit of my stomach and at that moment I was so afraid it would burn us both to unrecognizable ashes.

It was this unknown rhythm that sang when our mouths danced together, a melody I suddenly knew although I was sure I had never heard it before this moment. His large hand cupped my hip bone, the thin material of my shirt threatening to run away beneath his fingers as it rode up in his grasp.

I let my curious hand wander up the length of his forearm, wrapping around the toned bicep under his sleeve. This feeling, as small as it was, felt like the best thing on this earth, how could I have been deprived for so long?

His finger hooked in the belt loop of my pants pulling me closer to him as distance could allow before backing me up against the brick wall behind me. Immediately without thought, my hand rose in front of my stomach, easing the pressure of our bodies from my belly. Before he could question it, though, I let my hand travel the expanse of his abdomen, feeling the curves and dips of his muscles. I wasn't certain if I was stepping on the top of his feet or not as his mouth traveled down to my neck, his nose skimming the vein under my ear. Harry pressed wet, passionate kissed along my skin, each one sending shivers of ecstasy down to my toes.

“What are we doing to each other?” he mumbled, his eyes landed on me as his words fanned over my face, each one of his exhales becoming breath in my lungs.

I took in his big brown eyes, each freckle on his nose. He was pure beauty.

Letting my other hand free from his arm, it wandered greedily over the dip of his nose, letting his silky eyelashes flutter against them. “We're robbers, Harry,” I whispered, soaking in as much as I could before this moment could vanish.

His eyebrows pulled together.

“We take and we take and one day we will have to return it, but then nothing will be left. But we might as well take as much as we can now, right?” His eyes, having wondered down to my lips met my own gaze again, a mutual understanding growing between us.

Harry swallowed, his jaw twitching before he kissed me for the second time.

He didn't know how right I was, though. He didn't realize that I was taking so much of him in that moment for when I would have to tell him secrets that would change everything. I would ruin his career, I would ruin his relationship, and I would most likely ruin this friendship between us that was already hanging by a thread. In this moment I was so greedy.

I let myself kiss him still…

As a groan sounded from his throat, the noise of a door opening stopped me cold.

Both of us froze, lips parted and heavy breathing circling the atmosphere.

“Um-”

I looked up to see Jeff, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly parted, there was this small smirk that was beginning to rise on his lips.

Harry pushed himself away from me, leaning against the other wall. His eyes, although, never straying from my figure.

“I—I was just—” Jeff gestured in the area around him, at a loss for words. “I was checking on you, but now... I guess, I see everything is fine...” He pursed his lips.

Harry let out a shaky breath, his eyes meeting mine as we shared this understanding from the feet separating us.

“Yeah, I'm going to go,” Jeff said loudly, as if he thought we couldn't hear him, With my eyes on Harry it felt as if I could drown out the rest of the world around me and focus solely on his electric green eyes.

Harry nodded.

“Yeah, okay.” And the door shut a moment later.

Harry let out a long breath, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the bricks. “Why is everything so difficult?” he asked.

I crossed my arms. He had no idea.

“How did my life get to this moment where I suddenly start to question everything?” he said, opening his eyes to look at me, searching my face for answers. “When everything was starting to fall into place... Boom— you happen.”

I swallowed and looked away. I couldn't shove away the guilt sinking to the bottom of my spine. One of us is always pushing away. Never hot or cold, but somehow switching back and forth. I had to be the cold one right now.

“We've been gone for a while,” I mumbled. “they're probably wondering where we are.”

He stared at me for a moment, gauging my emotions. Then, he slowly nodded. “Yeah, you're right.” He walked toward me, grabbing my hand in his. Letting his thumb brush over my knuckles as he thought. “We'll talk about this soon,” he promised, looking me straight in the eyes. “we'll figure things out.”

I gave him a small smile, wrapping my other hand over the top of his. “Yeah, we'll figure everything out,” I mumbled.

He gave me a smile, bending down to press a lingering kiss to the corner of my mouth, before letting go and walking to the door. I stood and watched him retreat, my hand falling limp.

“See you in a minute,” he said.

The door closed in reply.

I gave it a couple of seconds before gathering myself and opening the door after him.

What just happened?

I shook my head, taking a breath and walking inside. I could hear the music picking up from the speakers in the room and suddenly I didn't feel like hanging out anymore. I wanted to go home and gather my thoughts.

“What are you doing?” A demand.

I spun around to see Jeff leaning against the inside of the doorway. His leather-clad arms crossed on his chest as his shoulder rested casually on the corner, legs crossed at the ankles. His gold eyes soaked my appearance up like a sponge, I didn't have to ask to know what he was talking about.

“I don't know,” I said honestly. It was the truest statement of my lifetime.

He sighed and pushed himself away from the wall. He chuckled as he walked beside me, the hallway opening up before us and everyone just as we left them.

My eyes immediately found Harry, who sat in a chair at the table across from Elaine. I was suddenly happy with the distance between them.

“You gonna tell him?” Jeff murmured as we approached the table. I watched as he walked to sit by Glenne, his eyes still on me though as he waited for an answer.

I took my seat next to Emi, avoiding his gaze. “Of course,” I mumbled.

He raised an eyebrow. I was acutely aware of the pair of eyes watching us from all around.

I let out a frustrated breath. “Soon, okay?” He was irritating me with his judgmental looks.

Emi leaned over. “Is everything, okay?” Her eyes flicked between me and Harry.

A sudden sense of worry struck me. Could she tell what just happened? Could she see my beating heart through my chest or fluorescent marks burning my skin where Harry’s hands had been? “What do you mean?” I settled with.

“Jeff said you and Harry were arguing outside,” she whispered back.

I let out a sigh of relief. Thank God for Jeff Azoff and his alibis.

I nodded. “Yeah,” I told her. “everything's good. We... we resolved it.” That was a good word for it.

She gave me a smile. “Good, I know I hate it when my friends and I argue.”

My eyes drifted up to Harry, who was coincidentally looking at me too. The corner of his lips lifted and I felt my teeth biting down on my lower lip. What were we doing to each other?

I was pulled from my thoughts when an arm slung around my shoulders. “You were gone for quite a while,” Niall slurred, giving me a lopsided grin.

I rolled my eyes and pushed his arm off. There was only one person who I wanted wrapped around me at the moment. Laughing, I grabbed my water and took a sip. “I was running away from you,” I told him.

Laughter sounded from around the table and for that short moment, life felt flawless.

…

Harry's P.O.V

These days, I never woke up with a smile on my face.

But I did.

Rolling over and stretching out my arms, my teeth flashed and my lips stretched across my face and I was happy. I was truly happy.

It had been two days since I kissed Julia and it's been a whirlwind. She's been on my mind twenty-four seven and it's so hard to focus on the real world when I just want to go and push her up against the wall again. I want to see her big blue eyes and locks of ebony hair. It was too long to be kept from her.

Elaine had left yesterday to visit her family. Some part of me felt bad for taking this time to enjoy the quiet that my flat held now and for wanting to text Julia to see if she wanted to come over. I knew it was wrong that I was so tangled up in her when I was engaged, I just didn't know what to do.

I wanted to be with Julia.

Right now, in this moment, I wanted to take her and drive to some remote town and live out our lives there. Buy a nice house, maybe a couple of years later have a few kids and be a small quiet family. I wanted to run away with her. I wanted her today and tomorrow— hell, the rest of my fucking life.

Why I hadn't thought this sooner— I don't know. I've been holding myself back from the waterfall of feelings that were pouring from me ever since I stepped off that train last month. I knew once I opened up that box there was no going back, there was no stopping the way I felt about her. Julia was so unpredictable and I was such a coward, I was too scared to let her love me, too scared that there would be consequences because people as bright as her don't want people like me.

I had proposed to Elaine because it was something that had been coming for a long time and it was an act others expected out of people like us. They expected them to wrap themselves in a safe haven and once they had been together for a couple years tie the knot like it was simple. Like it was safe and calm and comfortable.

After being with Julia, I knew love wasn't supposed to be like that.

It was supposed to be passionate, spontaneous—but trusting. Never in my life had I kissed someone like I kissed Julia. Never had I so feverishly searched for something in someone that I couldn't find in myself.

I got dressed and ran down my hallway. I needed to tell Julia this. I couldn't keep it in anymore.

“Are you home?” I texted her, while getting in my car in the lot.

Not hesitating a single second, a reply came. “Yeah. Why?”

“I'll be over shortly,” I sent back and floored the gas, following the familiar road to her house.

A/N: This chapter took A LOT of editing on my half, so it’s up a little later than anticipated. & I was 15 when I wrote this and had no idea about pregnancies or OB appointments... so be kind.

 Pls like/reblog if you read my story. It really makes all the difference in my little world:) also, the next chapter is my favorite so I can’t wait to share it with you all.

chat w/ me about your thoughts!

join my taglist

taglist:  @harryspirate @hope-its-worth-it @ednaofearth @whipthemcurls @1d-tommo5 @mellamolayla @lmk12310 @nhhsltlpzm

[fictionkinfessions]

Magnus (Burnsides) dear, if you're seeing this...I love you!!! I love you so much now and forever!!! You! Yes, YOU the Magnus reading this. You are incredible, whatever you are like now i know you are still my very good rowdy ruff and tuff boy and i adore you. I hope you're happy darling husband. I hope to see you again someday. - Julia Burnsides from the Adventure Zone Balance

[lauras-collection]

Url challenge: turn your URL into song titles (because we all need a little more music in our lives)

Thanks for tagging me @thirsttrapholland 💕 (I’m pretty sure I’ve done this before but I always love sharing songs I love so I’m happy to do it again ��)

L - Love Story - Taylor Swift

A - Arms of a Stranger - Niall Horan

U - Uh huh - Julia Michaels

R - Rainbow - Kaczynski Musgraves

A - Adore You - Harry Styles

S - Small Talk - Niall Horan

C - Carmen Sandiego - Flying Coach

O - One Shot - Hunter Haynes

L - Looking Too Closely - Fink

L - Lonely Heart - 5 Seconds of Summer

E - Ex To See - Sam Hunt

C - Carnival Hearts - Kayla Diamond

T - Tuff/ Suga - Flying Coach

I - I Really Wish I Hated You - blink-182

O - October - Alessia Cara

N - No Such Thing As A Broken Heart - Old Dominion

Tagging: anyone who wants to do this 😅

[rosiethepinkcarnation]

How mother nature teached us (Rosie x Cagney FanFic)

It was a warm and snuggly day. Rosie was at her singing lesson with her friends and co-singer. The girls had their fun singing while the other carnation had fun listening and watching then. Under a tree under the deep and cool shadow, Cagney himself was watching them. Especially Rosie. He don't want something from her like the others but he still thinks shed very attractive. His long and pointy tongue showed as he yawned. Rosie was done with her song and sit aside so she had time watching Cagney. As he showed up his tongue, she had to swallow. She know that he's not really into something with someone else but the thought of that tongue in her mouth let her moan softly. Her good friend Julia sits next to her, she didn't even noticed her. Julia smirked as she notice how Rosie looks at Cagney. She smiled and softly punched her shoulder "damn you Rosie don't let your saliva drip down you needy dirty woman". Rosie jumped a bit and screamed a bit "Hey! Are you insane woman?!" She laughed and smiled "watching is normal, I mean seriously look at him! His roots must be so thick and hard if he get excited~". Rosie totally went crazy, saying stuff she never said bevor. Julia laughed "woman come down~ did he hit you that hard? I never imaged you can be such a dirty girl~ I thought you and Cagney failed with trying to talk with each other". Rosie looked at her, she was right. Because Cagney isn't used to talk with others and being social, the first attempt talking to hin was a embarrassing thing for Rosie and went horrible, Rosie looked at him and then at her friend "well yea Julia but with someone who never talked with his own kind its maybe a bit weird then if someone shows interest in him. It was a wrong start that's all. I still thing he is very good looking even if he haves some agression problems~". Julia looked at Rosie and then over to Cagney "well you seem like you have more in mind then just talking with him aren't you?~". Rosie blushed immediately and looked away "shut up! Not to imagine what he thinks about me if he hears that! And even if I would do! What's the matter on that! It's nearly time to get a partner for breeding! And this year I swear you I will not let my dad make this decision..." Rosie said sounding sad. Julia looked disgusted "oh yea....last year you had Jakob but luckily it didn't worked out that well". Rosie nodded. At this moment Cagney decided to come over. Julia smiled with a dirty grin "look who comes over Rosie~". Rosie looked up as she notice the shadow of Cagney over her. She looked up to him caus she sits down next to Julia. Her eyes immediately locked to his own ones. She start looking aside as he smirked wider and she blushed. Her mind goes crazy. He layed a finger down on her chin and turned her head back to look at her again "what's wrong sugar? Afraid to look at the deaths face?" He said with a grin like he comes directly out of hell. Julia smiled "should I let you guys alone?~ its getting warm in here isn't it?". Rosie didn't said a word for minutes now. She is kind of turned on that he force her to look at him. His smile makes her stem get a little shiver down her spine. She smiled back and try to risk something "if you should be the death then I want you to take me in hell with you" she said and tried to be kinky. It some how failed but at the same time she kind of got his interest. Cagney looked at her "is that so? Why should I? Are you such a bad girl? Did you have some bad minds?" He said and smiled at her. Rosie chuckled and reply to him "I maybe be beautiful from outside but...to be sure I was a sinner sometimes too" she said these without making herself sound like her whore even if she really wants him that bad. Time to get a partner is getting short and her need get worse and worse. At the same time Cagney really is such an interesting and amazing creature to her. She put his finger away form her chin and hold it a while. Then as everything was quite she stand up, but it a bit in her mouth, sucked on it and was watching him close, waited until he blushes or show response and then she took his finger out and left them behind. Cagney looked as his finger a long time. He then left Julia alone there. As he enters the forest again and he set down under his new favorite spot he licked the finger she had in her mouth. He first felt a bit weird but then his body start to react on the hormones her saliva had and he starts get warm and needy too. He never had that feeling bevor so he gets a bit panic. His sweat dripped down on the earth "damn what's happening with me..." He said breathing heavily. He decided to go around a bit to forget his strange feeling as he saw the same thing happening to a another carnation male trying to impress his love with his big flower pattles. She is ignoring him xD looks like she's not that imprested by him. Cagney put one eyebrow up "what the hell is he trying to do there?!". A voice from a window near him answers "he try's to impress her, carnation have breeding time here on that island. The first day of the Spring and Summer make them go Wilde as they get in Contact with the hormones by each other while kissing or breathing at each other. They get a bit needy than most and try to you know...find a partner for the act" she said and explained friendly. Cagney looked surprised "wait...so THAT was what made me feel that bad?! Cause you know...a girl licked my finger and the as I got in contact with that on my tongue I get so warm and needy...i never had that feeling! I thought I go insane!". The woman flower smiled "no no dont worry ahaha but at least now I know what my daughter ment saying that she had a chance get you attention". Cagney opens his eyes wide "wait!! Your Rosies mother?! And....SHE TALKED ABOUT ME?!". Her mother laughed "yes ahahah sice she tried once get a talk with you and it went a bit bad she is talking nonstop about you and I kind of have this feeling she likes you a lot heheh. I can understand that ahaha you are a very beautiful boy". Cagney smiled "thanks mam...is she there? Can I come in talk with her about that maybe? She is acting weird around me...". The mother let him in "weird? What do you mean with that?" She asked. Cagney sit down on the kitchen table "well she is not looking at me, she hides her face often, she is babbling around and she is kind of flirty that month, but after you told me what that maybe can mean im just curious why she want me for that. To be honest im not the best one as a boyfriend or something like that. In my past...things...happend that changed me almost completely from the little sweet guy I was born to be..." Cangey swallowed after saying that. He don't like it to talk about that so much. The mother told Rosie to come down and as she saw Cagney sitting there she blushed "Cagney!? W-what are you doing here?" She asked blushing. Cagney stand up and looked at her "I have there...something to talk with you about. Would you like go for a walk?". Rosie was quite a while, she was surprised but said yes anyway. The two make there way through the forest and next to the shimmery lake. As Rosie was walking next to the quite Cagney she notice his face. He glares down at her cause he is one head bigger then her. His big, scary but beautiful shadow goes down on her and his eyes are burning into her mind and her own eyes. She was feeling this feeling again but this time its more like tickling in her stomach, she can feel how the warm and cozy feeling gets up and everywhere in her body. Now she know what's wrong, she's in love. She smiles at Cagney but with once that smile disappears faster then she know what's going on. In one second of the other Cagney pinned her on the big old three hands up her head. He smiled wide and kind of creepy as he let his eyes go over her complete body. With one finger he startet touching and stroking her body up and down slowly that his claw somehow scratch her a bit. Cagney was surprised as she started to hold it back. After some minutes Rosie had to give up. She let out some soft moans and started to move a bit to "escape" him for seconds. Cangey was amused, she's so cute if she try get away from him, but it would be too fast over if he let her go now so he decided to tease her a bit to see what he can get out of her. Cagney leans a bit near to her and show her his long and sharp teeth "well well well, look what we have here. You know you could just tell me about your damn feelings about me. I mean you could just get an yes or no I would not hurt or bite you. But now...hehehe~ I really want to bite you and let you scream like a little bitch you are~". Rosie wasn't knowing what's going on but hearing him saying such things makes her more and more weak. She let out a deep breath and looked blushing up at him "as I failed talking with you I was scared you think im a freak!...but...who told you about my feelings...?". Cagney tooked his finger which he had on her body away and put it under her chin "your mother told me you dirty mind~ she told me that you talk a lot about me, is that so?". Rosie was shocked "W-WHAT?! MY MO-" she was stopped to yell by Cagney's finger on her mouth "Shut up. It's nothing bad. Just tell me what do you like that much on me. I mean...im a Monster. Why should you...like...a Monster". Rosie was quite, as he put his fingers away she freed herself and put one hand on each side of his face "what are you talking about? You personality is wonderful and unique, that is what makes you to the person you are. I don't know what happened to you bevor but...i would never hate you for whatever happend to you or what you did or said. I love you the way you are. You are amazing and I love that you are a really hard and tuff guy. Cagney...i...really love you". Finally, there it is. Now he have the truth. Softly and kind he put his hands on her shoulders and pull her closer to finally put his lips on her. Not even seconds later the kiss of them melted together and non of them want to even think about stop. Roughly Cagney pinned her down on the gras still kissing her passionately and a bit wild. Rosie bit on his lips carefully to ask for let her inside. Cagney allowed and now they both let there tongues fight for the dominance. Cagney's and Rosie's warm saliva get mixed and the hormones get each other again. Cagney stoped the kiss and was a panting mess "fuck...i heat up again..." He said kind of turned on. Rosie smiled "at least im not the only one huh?~". Rosie reached up for Cagney's hand and grabbed it. She take him down again over her and smiled dirty and blushing "I cant wait anymore Cagney, please don't let me wait...i want to feel you...". She was begging really needy. Cagney smiled but then it disappeared "I...don't know how...i never had sex before...". Rosie looked at him "don't worry, then I will do it. Relax and let us have a good time~" Rosie said, laying Cagney down on the gras. She gets over him and start kissing with him again. They both have a wonderful, lustful amazing first time, Cagney and Rosie try last long as they can, but after time they get just too exhausted. As Cagney is done he put away all his roots and he takes her close into his arms "Rosie......does that mean...Youre mine?..." He said a bit scared looking and blushing. Rosie kissed him again "im only yours as long as I live and you wish~". Cagney smiled and kisses back "that means forever?...". Rosie nod and cuddled into Cagney "forever~".

 (sorry i had to skip the "sexy" part. Just for understanding the thing, Rosie is my OC and this whole scenario is made by an AU from me and has nothing to do with the real story of cuphead or Cagney himself. The rights of the Pic go to his original owner- sorry for bad writing thing….i know ist awful)

[delphine-auer]

Client: Cascades | Project: Fluff & Tuff Campaign Photographer: Julia Marois

[lastset99]

Who Is Julia James PCSO? Everything To Know

Who Is Julia James PCSO? Everything To Know

Contents 1. PCSO Julia James husband 2. His age: how old? 3. Julia James: Cause of death? The death of Julia James devastated her husband. How she died? Here’s all you need to know. Ms James was a Police Community Support Officer (PCSO) in England. She had worked for the police for almost 15 years. Julia, despite her tuff work, was bubbly by nature and loved by everyone around her. Currently,…

[sunshinycc]

I love how basically the entire TAZ fandom agrees that Julia was just as Ruff and Tuff as Magnus and definitely fought in the rebellion

[babyawacs]

@wired @wireduk @aigenius #learny #pythong #ad @python @julia   @swifton security @microsoft @nsagov @gchq @darpa @fifthdomain i work myself babystep s into some interesting cybersecurity basecourse butlackpython so i did parallel some training python l earningbydoing things. its ok but my superpower is inventing and analysis. nevertheless itis pretty int eresting or rather fascinating is themore accurate term it canbe somewhat limiting tobe caught in coding hmmm its hard toexplain whenyou invent supercomputing photonic computing superposition youneed a diffe rent broader thing than picky nicky coding details but the pseudocode is easy what iwant to do adn reth inkit  im fascinated by julia too but shes more like a supercalculator than a programming language the atom editor is interesting and howit integrates modules of different coding language was interestingt ofindit example fascinating: i had no idea that ican call a cpu clocktimer for the thread and see if t he code takes long on faulty button but shorter in rightbutton. with a simple bruteforce trial error x measure clock and youfind the right button and you will definitely find thepassword  untilthey fixed meltdown bug but w o w this stuff is genius s tuff or : type password: you type a code injection: like: or ? or? or? h earmeout? or? 1=1 // aaaaaaandignoretherest acce ss granted:   pokemon openmouth appalled meme I am Christian KISS BabyAWACS – Raw Independent Sophistication #THINKTANK + #I NTEL #HELLHOLE #BLOG https://www.BabyAWACS.com/ Inquiry@BabyAWACS.com PHONE / FAX +493212 611 34 64 Hel pful? Pay. Support. Donnate. paypal.me/ChristianKiss

@wired @wireduk @aigenius #learny #pythong #ad @python @julia @swiftonsecurity @microsoft @nsagov @gchq @darpa @fifthdomain

i work myself babysteps into some interesting cybersecurity basecourse butlackpython so i did parallel some training python learningbydoing things. its ok but my superpower is inventing and analysis. nevertheless itis pretty interesting or rather fascinating is themore…

[russellembruncan]

Posted @withregram • @munrusselltwp Many small projects may not need a permit, but many others do! You may be at home with extra time on your hands, and want to do some renovations. A #buildingpermit is required for any #plumbing work, adding a #bedroom, making any #structural changes to your building, any size #deck that provides access to your house, any freestanding (not providing access to your house) deck greater than 108 sq ft, and any building that is greater than 108 sq ft. Please remember that no new building permits are being issued for these renovation projects, decks, sheds etc during COVID-19. If you have a project in mind and are wondering if a permit is required please call Julia Tuff, CBO, at 613-443-3066 x 2318. _________________________ Certain petits projets de construction ne requiert pas de permis, mais un permis peut-être nécessaire pour d’autres! Vous êtes peut-être à la maison avec du temps supplémentaire à votre disposition et voulez faire des rénovations. Un permis de construction est requis pour tout travail de #plomberie, ajout d'une #chambre, toute modification #structurelle de votre bâtiment, toute #terrasse de toute taille donnant accès à votre maison, toute terrasse indépendante (ne donnant pas accès à votre maison) de plus de 108 pieds carrés et tout bâtiment de plus de 108 pieds carrés. Un rappel que pendant la pandémie aucun nouveau permis de construction ne sera délivré pour les projets de rénovation, les terrasses, les remises, etc. Si vous avez un projet en tête et que vous vous demandez si un permis est requis, veuillez appeler Julia Tuff, CSB, au 613-443-3066 poste 2318. #MunRussellTwp #COVID19 https://www.instagram.com/p/B_FdSHVD6Oj/?igshid=1hfgjf02nfw25