#julia showing up in my house again

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[missadangel]

The Heart of Rome (Marcus Acacius x OC)

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VI. The Battle

this is the longest chapter i ever wrote , it was pain in the ass, so please be nice, reblog and hit a like, if you enjoy thank you :)

lupus est homo homini

A man to a man is a wolf. 

T. Hobbes

Temple of Saturn…

Saturnalia was by far the most joyous Roman festival; the Roman poet Catullus famously described it as ‘the best of times’. The festivities were so exuberant that the Roman writer Pliny is said to have had a soundproof room built so that he could work during the raucous celebrations. During Saturnalia, business and commerce would come to a standstill. Schools and courts were closed and normal social practices were suspended. The feast was celebrated with sacrifices and a public banquet in the Temple of Saturn in the Roman Forum.

People decorated their houses with garlands, even the exteriors of official buildings were decorated with greenery. People were dressed in different colours for this day, unlike their daily and official clothes. The streets of Rome were lively and colourful today.

You travelled to the temple with your half-brothers, Caracalla and his mother Julia Domna in the flamboyant carriage in front, and you and Geta - at his insistence - in the carriage behind them. Even though you felt that Geta was treating you more cordially now, you still couldn't be completely sure. But he was certainly different from Caracalla and his mother, they had a ruthless side that never changed, and you were sure that you could not trust them under any circumstances. 

Already the ostentatious temple was crowded with people, the Romans seemed to be enjoying the day of festivities.  They were shouting your names with great enthusiasm as you got out of the carriages and greeted them. One of them was handing you a bouquet of flowers when one of the guards blocked him. You told him to move away and thanked him as you took the flowers, he was so surprised and happy that he started dancing with joy. His mates joined him and chanted your name. Geta gave your arm a gentle but firm grip. 'You have to be a bit more careful. You never know what they'll do.'

'It's just a few flowers,' you replied. 'And why would they hurt me?'

He smiled, but his eyes showed his concern. 'You're so naive, sister. There's so much you have to learn. Let's get these ceremonies over with, I'm dying to get to the banquet.’

As you walked up the stairs of the temple, you noticed that he was still holding your arm. 

'Are you feeling better now?' you asked, trying to pull your arm back, but for some reason he wouldn't let go. It bothered you. 'Could I just ask you to let go of my arm, please?'

He paused and looked at you with his light brown eyes. He looked like he wanted to tell you something, but it was hard to know what emotion he was feeling. All of a sudden, he smiled. "I think the disgusting herbal concoction worked.'" He took his hand away and started up the stairs faster. You tried to keep up with him, but he was too fast, and Caracalla was waiting for him at the top of the steps. '"You're slow," he grumbled. Julia squinted at you and went inside. It seemed like you were going to have to get used to that look.

After the ceremony of sacrificing a young pig in front of the statue of the god Saturn, just between the tall white pillars inside the temple, Geta approached you as you prayed to the great statue then gestured you to outside and walked towards the stairs to leave, followed by Caracalla, who took his mother by the arm. You'd have to get used to walking side by side with them, but it still felt a bit strange. People were coming to the temple to sacrifice, just like you, and they were all turning to look at you and greet you. 

"I want to get to the palace for the banquet as soon as possible," Geta said, sounding a bit impatient.

"You must be hungry. You were busy this morning," he said quietly. 

You looked at him and said, "Yes, you're right, thanks again, by the way, much appreciated, highness."

"Oh, these stairs... Hold out your arm," he said in a commanding tone.

Geta was wearing a white and black toga with gold embroidery and it was very elaborate. He looked like he was struggling and didn't like you looking at him hesitantly. "Aren't you going to help me?"

You forced a smile and held out your arm for him to take. It was starting to feel a little strange that he wanted to touch you all the time, but you didn't object because you wanted to be on good terms as brother and sister.

You noticed an old woman approaching you just after descending the steps. One of the guards pushed her away and she fell to the ground. Geta ignored her, as did Caracalla and his mother. It bothered you so much that you let go of Geta's arm and walked over there.

You ignored the guard's warning and helped the woman off the floor. Her clothes were torn, dirty and old; she must have been a beggar. You felt sorry for her.

'What are you doing?' Geta was upset.

The woman bowed her head. 'My lady, thank you.'

You turned to Geta. 'Could I possibly borrow some coins?’

‘Get away from her, look at the way she's dressed, she's filthy.’ He was looking at her with a disgusted expression.

‘It's festival day and as emperor, shouldn't you embrace all your people?’

He opened his eyes wide. ‘Embrace? I can't even lay a hand on her!’ He balled his hands into fists and pulled them back as if trying to hide them.

‘I meant metaphorically,’ you rolled your eyes at him.

Geta took a moment to compose himself and gestured to one of his slaves, who came running over with a pouch full of coins. You took it from him and presented it to her.

'May the gods bless you, Lady Aurelia!' she said, falling at your feet. You graciously took her by the hand and lifted her up.

‘That is enough,' Geta said, grasping your arm and drawing you closer. As the woman prayed joyfully, the crowd began to murmur. 

“Long live Emperor Geta!” The crowd began to chant, "Long live Lady Aurelia!"

Geta was taken aback not by the fact that they were shouting his name, but rather by the proximity of the crowd. It was the first time he had ever felt so close to the people on the street.

'Please be sure to wash your hands thoroughly when you arrive at the palace,' he muttered.

You giggled and looked around as he greeted the people, but you did not see the general. He had said he was coming to the banquet anyway, so you got into the carriage with Geta, hoping to see him there, and you thought about him the whole way.

Domus Severiana…

As the sun began to set, casting the courtyard and kitchen of Domus Severiana in a golden glow, preparations were underway with great enthusiasm. The slaves were meticulously preparing a selection of exquisite dishes and beverages for the guests who were expected to take their place in the main courtyard. Julia was there to oversee the proceedings, offering guidance and encouragement to ensure everything was just right. Caracalla was already relaxing in one of the armchairs in the courtyard, enjoying an apple. When one of the slaves unfortunately stumbled and dropped the tray, he reacted with amusement, but then proceeded to issue a firm reprimand. While this was taking place in the main courtyard, you were in your room, discussing attire with Decima, when the door to your room suddenly opened. You were startled when Geta rushed in, as you wearing your long, thin tunic.

"Even if you're the emperor, it's always worth being polite, don't you think?"

He smiled. "Watch your tone. Who says I'm interested in your body anyway?" He looked away as a slave girl walked in. The girl was carrying a light turquoise silk cloth in her arms.

"You always wear the same style of dress, your hair the same way, you don't look like a princess. You should take some care of yourself. So this girl, what's her name, what's your name?”

“Nerissa, your highness-”

"Oh, whatever!" he interjected. "Make sure you dress her and do the princess's hair with care." He turned to you. "She's got amazing hands-on skills. You wouldn't believe what she can do. She's really talented," he said with a grin. 

She giggled. “Anything for my emperor.”

‘I'm assuming your whore friend isn't that talented,’ he said, narrowing his eyes, looking at Decima.

‘Please don't call her that,’ you snapped.

‘'Weren't you supposed to take her on my behalf? She's my slave, I can call her whatever I want,’ he said smugly.

It was true anyway as it was his name on the documents.

‘Still, courtesy is a virtue, brother.’‘

"Not for me,’ he said, grinning. ‘Get dressed now,’ he said, clapping his hands. “Join me in the main courtyard when you're done,” he said to his slave, then turned to you. “You too, sister."

You inhaled deeply when he left, you didn't like him barging into your room like that and talked badly about Decima.

He was acting like a naughty little child, as usual. 

'Please excuse him,' you said Decima.

She shook her head. 'Never mind, I'd rather put up with a lot of insults here than there as a whore. I'll always remember what you did for me.’

You gave her a hug. She felt like your real family; you valued her a great deal.

'He was right though, you need to get dressed,' Decima said, and with the help of the other girl they began to dress you. 

Meanwhile, you were thinking about Marcus. You were wondering if he'd arrived already. You hadn't seen him since morning and now you were getting impatient. Your answer to his marriage proposal is already set in your mind. But you were also worried about how Geta and Caracalla would react – it was hard to predict what they'd do.

'You were certainly born to be a princess, my lady,' she said, looking at you. 

Decima smiled. 'Indeed.'

You looked in the mirror and thought you looked pretty good in the turquoise gold embroidered dress and shawl, which matched the gold bracelets on your arms and the necklace around your neck. Geta was right – the girl had done your hair perfectly. One of the braids had gone over the top of your head like a crown and was pinned into the hair at the nape of your neck. 

'You're really talented. My brother was right.’

She gave a shy smile. 'I'm really pleased to be able to help prepare such a beautiful lady as you.'

You smiled back. 'Now, you can go to my brother. He seems to like you.'

Her cheeks flushed a little. It would be a good idea for you to get to know her better, since Geta seems to like her.

'Let me know if he's not feeling well, okay?' 'But you've got to keep it between us, can I trust you?'

'Of course, my lady.' She nodded.

Once she'd left the room, Decima came over to help you with your earrings. She still had bruises on her face.

'Have you been using the ointment I prepared for you?’

‘Yes, thank you, Ay-, my lady.’

‘Call me Aurelia when no one's around.’

‘I suppose, I'll have to get used to it.’

She combed the hair that was falling on your shoulder. 

'You stay in the room and rest for today.’ You said to her.

Although she was a bit reluctant at first, she agreed. It was already a very busy day, so no one would notice.

As you left your room and headed for the stairs, you found that the weight of the fabric made it a bit difficult to move your legs freely. You made your way down the stairs, grabbed hold of the gold-embroidered railing for support. As you strolled towards the main courtyard, your heart started to beat faster when you heard the sounds of masculine laughter coming from inside. Geta and Caracalla were sitting at the banqueting hall, enjoying the food and drink that was laid out in front of them. The members of the Senate, the patricians and their wives were already settled in their seats. Julia was sitting next to Caracalla, chatting with an older member of the Senate.

As soon as you entered the hall, you were the focus of everyone's attention, and the murmuring ceased. Even the slaves paused in their activities to observe you, but then they resumed their tasks. Geta stood up and approached you. "Look how gorgeous my sister is. Would you come and take your seat?" He gestured to the seat next to him. You smiled at him and did as he said, the murmuring had returned, now everyone was looking at you and chatting. But the only person you wanted to see, Marcus, was nowhere to be seen, and you looked around with a hint of disappointment. 

"My lady." Your cousin Gaius came over to you. "May I speak to you privately for a moment?" he held out his hand.

"Leave my sister alone and let her eat something, Gaius," Geta said, a little annoyed. He was still chewing the morsel in his mouth, and you pursed your lips to try to keep from laughing. Caracalla already laughed for you.

"That's alright, brother. I'll be right back," you said and stood up. Gaius seemed a little annoyed that you ignored his hand, but he regained his composure quickly. You were not particularly curious about what he was going to say, but it might be a good way to pass the time until the general arrived. As you walked slowly with Gaius from the main courtyard to the one close to the entrance, you realized he was becoming increasingly excited. 

"You look beautiful, Aurelia."

"Thank you," you replied, your gaze fixed on the entrance door. You wonder why he isn't here yet.

"I hope you don't mind me mentioning that I've kept your father's letter for years. I have been eagerly awaiting the opportunity to open it for quite some time. Hoping desperately.”

"Is that so?"

"Yes, it seems that after your mother's passing, your relatives in Leptis Magna were interested in offering you their protection. However, your father, my uncle, felt it was best to take a different approach, sending you away I mean.”

You were unexpectedly touched by the mention of your mother and found yourself standing in front of the statue of your father. "He was hopeful that you would return and reclaim your birthright, and that your brothers would accept you. Given my familiarity with them and the Empress, I believe he gave me this assignment," he said, looking at the statue. "I am truly honored to have been assigned the task of protecting you. I hope you will allow me to be of service to you in the future."

“In the future?”

Gaius smiled. "I would be able to protect you more easily if you would allow me to marry you."

You were momentarily at a loss for words. As you considered how to decline his proposal without offending him, you observed a figure moving across the main courtyard towards the banquet. It appeared to be a man wearing a red shawl over his shoulders. It seemed likely to be him. However, when he soon disappeared between the columns, you couldn't help but frown. You felt a desire to pursue him.

"My lady, will you not answer?" Gaius was waiting hopefully.

"Sir Gaius, I am truly flattered, but I am afraid I am unlikely to accept your offer."

“May I ask why?" His voice betrayed no hint of curiosity. Again, it seemed as though he already had an idea of the answer. You were not interested in engaging in a similar manner.

"I'm obliged to tell you that my heart belongs to someone else. I'm sorry, sir.”

He seemed rather unsurprised, which might give rise to some suspicion.

"I'm just asking you to think a little more, take your time."

"No matter how much I think about it, I'm fairly certain my answer won't change."

Gaius seemed angry.

"I would like to return to my brothers now," you said, your voice calm and measured. 

"As you wish, but I am a very patient man," he said with a smile and accompanied you towards the banquet hall.

You returned to the courtyard, your eyes seeking out his presence. You were relieved to see him right in front of Geta and Caracalla, and your spirits were lifted. Acacius looked quite splendid, wearing a long red shawl over his white tunic embroidered with gold and a large circular brooch pinned to his collar. 

He appeared to be engaged in conversation with the emperors. He was holding a wine glass of a blue hue. When Geta and Caracalla turned their heads towards you, he looked back. When you met his eyes, you smiled. He observed you with great interest.

"My lady," he greeted you.

"General Acacius, welcome," you nodded.

The General's attention was drawn to Gaius as he approached from behind, narrowed his eyes. "Sister, you might be interested to hear what General Acacius said to us." Geta said to you in a slightly louder voice.

”What is it?" You looked at the general and realized he was smiling.

"He wants our permission to marry you, how kind of him!”

“He always is." Caracalla said, leaning back in his chair and grinning. His slaves sitting around him, watching curiously.

Your cheeks were flushed, and you looked at him to explain, but Gaius interjected.

'General Acacius had the opportunity to speak with you first, and it was with the same intention that I wished to speak to your Majesties.'

Geta raised his eyebrows and looked at Caracalla, who seemed to display a certain degree of animosity whenever he saw Gaius. Julia muttered something. Caracalla responded to his mother's words with a lighthearted laugh. 

"I have already given you my answer, Sir Gaius," you said, looking at Geta. You were hoping he would reject him.

Acacius placed a hand to his chin and smiled in a way that seemed to indicate he was trying to suppress his laughter.

"As I told you I'm a patient man, my lady."

"Cut it off! I've had enough of your love intrigues!" Caracalla cried out in frustration. Macrinus was supposed to bring a gladiator. Where is he?"

"This is like a fight, brother. Don't you think? Two gentlemen against each other over a princess. Impressive.” Geta grinned.

The atmosphere was palpably tense as Acacius and Gaius exchanged unpleasant glances.

"I am here, your highness," Macrinus declared, appearing behind you. He was flanked by the gladiator slave you had seen earlier at his villa.

He gave Gaius a quick glance, then came to stand beside Geta.

‘My lady, please have a seat,’ the General said, gesturing towards the chair.

You smiled at him and did as he suggested, and he stood beside you. One of the slaves handed you some wine. You would have liked to talk to Marcus, but there were too many people around. Besides, he seemed to be watching Macrinus' gladiator with some unease. Geta and Caracalla, on the contrary, looked excited.

"So this is your gladiator?" Geta asked. 

‘It is.’

‘Very well, let's see what he can do.’ Caracalla grinned. 

At Macrinus' signal, the gladiator made his way to the center, and the people around him shifted slightly to give him space. 

Both men saluted the emperors and promptly drew their swords and advanced towards the gladiator, but he was swift and agile, evading their attacks and seizing one of the men by the elbow. He then disarmed him and struck him forcefully in the face with the back of his elbow. As the man was momentarily disoriented, the gladiator swiftly retrieved the sword and advanced towards the other man. The sound of swords clashing echoed through the hall, and a sword fight commenced between the two. The other man approached from behind, but the gladiator was able to avoid both the sword blow and the man's attack. He then grabbed the man by the waist, threw him to the ground, and hit him repeatedly in the face. 

Your entire body was visibly tense, your hands firmly grasping the fabric of your dress. Caracalla sat up in his chair and watched intently, so something like this could only excite him.

When the man collapsed, bloodied and unconscious, the gladiator managed to overpower the other man with his sword and quick footwork. Unfortunately, this left them both without swords. The man was more physically fit and appeared to be more determined than the gladiator. He advanced towards him and grabbed him by the belt and then by the waist and threw him backwards with some force to the ground, which resulted in one of the tables full of food being knocked over. You felt yourself becoming increasingly tense as the food and drinks were scattered around, and you saw the general moving in front of you. Guests were murmuring and applauding, but they continued to watch with interest.

The gladiator was covered in blood, but he was smiling. He quickly wiped the blood off his face with the back of his hand and waited for the man to make a move. When the man made a sudden advance, shouting, the gladiator responded by moving swiftly to strike at his leg. When the man faltered, the gladiator took the opportunity to strike him several times in the face with his chin, attempting to knock him to the ground. However, the man remained standing. At that moment, the gladiator took the sword from the ground and, in a swift and decisive move, drove it through the man's stomach. You were taken aback as blood spattered everywhere from the man's abdomen. Some of the people in the hall expressed their shock and dismay, while others were visibly excited.  Geta and Caracalla expressed their admiration for his performance, and their slaves joined in the applause. The gladiator respectfully placed his sword on the ground and bowed his head in deference to them. The air was filled with a distinctive, pungent odor of blood. You felt a queasy sensation in your stomach, not due to the smell of blood, but because the blood was still flowing from the cut in the abdomen of the man lying lifeless on the ground. While the majority of the people present were expressing their approval with cheers and whistles, you and the general were the only ones who did not join in. 

Geta stood up and gave a little clap. "That's fantastic!" "I love it!"

"I'm really looking forward to the new games," Caracalla said.

"Whenever you wish, Your Majesty," said Macrinus with a smile.

"Tomorrow!" Geta piped in excitedly.

"Your Majesty, shouldn't we wait until the festival is over?" Julia came over to him.

"No, it'd be too long. How about the last day of the Saturnalia?" "It would be a great way to end the festival," Caracalla said with a grin.

"My brother always has great ideas," he said, grinning at him.

You turned your head to look away as the guards pulled the bodies of the men out of the ground. Macrinus and Gaius went over to the gladiator and started talking to him about something. The general had noticed your nervousness.

"My lady, would you like to go for a walk?"

“Your face has gone white, sister.” Geta was looking at you with a grin. Caracalla laughed, “As a Medicus, shouldn't you be used to see blood?”

You stood up. “I need to get some air,” you said and looked at the general. “General Acacius, accompany me, please.”

He nodded and bowed to the emperors before following you.

There was still blood on the ground outside, so you decided to walk the other way. Soon the General came up to you.

“Are you alright?” there was concern in his voice.

“Yes,” you lied. “I'm not used to this and I don't think I want to get used to it.”

"Perhaps you would like to hold my hand?" he enquired, holding out his big hand towards you.

His eyes were warm, looking at them, you felt a sense of relief from the tension you had been feeling.

The only other people in the courtyard were the slaves, who were enjoying the day. The sounds of musical instruments soon filled the main courtyard, creating a festive atmosphere. When you held Acacius' hand, you felt your skin warm, touching his skin always gives you a reassuring warmth. "So you mentioned to my brothers that you wished to marry me," you said as you walked through the garden in the east courtyard. 

"That is correct," he said with a smile. “But, I would like to hear your answer before they say anything."

As you strolled past the garden fountain, the soothing sound of the flowing water was a welcome respite from the slightly more vibrant melody playing in the courtyard.

You moved to stand in front of Acacius, holding both hands and looking into his eyes.

"I would be honored to be your wife, General."

The brown of his eyes shone brightly, and as he took a step towards you, you involuntarily stepped back, for some reason his devastating gaze had that effect on you. He couldn't help but seem to like it, he raised his hands and cupped your face in his palms. Your cheeks blessed by his touch. 

"I should be the happiest man on this auspicious day," he said softly, brushing his lips against yours. Then he kissed you gently. 

Your lips were pleased to meet his lips again, and a heat spread through your body under his lips. Marcus lowered his arms and took hold of you around the waist, pulling you closer to him. You brought your arms up and wrapped them around his neck, and the kiss became more passionate. You both yearned for each other's bodies, whispering your desire through your lips. Marcus forced to stop himself when his hand reached your shoulder, his lips stilling under yours and turning into a smile, his moustache tickling your upper lip. Breathless, opened your eyes to met his eyes, his hands still on your waist, yours still on his thick neck.

"Perhaps we should save the rest for our wedding night, my lady." He said with a hint of mischief in his voice. He was gently running his fingers through your hair with one hand. "Patience is my best friend yet my worst enemy." He kissed a strand of your hair in the palm of his hand. You slid your hands to his broad shoulders.

"My enemy for sure," you said, frowning. He laughed merrily, caressed your nose with his nose, and kissed your forehead. "You always manage to cheer me up, my lady." The music from the main courtyard was getting louder. Marcus took a step back and held out his arm.

"Maybe we should head back to the banquet?"

You gave a slight nod and took his arm. The music evoked memories of your time in Egypt.

Vicius, your uncle, was mindful of the fact that festival days were not the ideal time for you to be out and about, but he was ultimately swayed by your persistent requests. Even if you were unable to fully observe the other girls dancing through your large black cloak, you still enjoyed being there. As you observed the girls dancing in the main courtyard, a young slave approached you at a brisk pace.

"General Acacius, the Emperors want to see you."

Marcus nodded and turned to you. "I'll see what they want. Would you like to come?”

Shaking your head. ”I'm not quite ready to go in there yet.”

"As you please, my lady.” He agreed.

You watched him as he took his leave of you, releasing your hand and entering the banquet hall. You were curious as to whether this was a decision about marriage, but you felt it would be best to wait until Macrinus and his gladiator had left. 

As you made your way towards the slave girls, who were dancing with evident joy, you came to realise how happy they were. Today was a day of freedom for them, as they were able to enjoy the same food and drinks. They were not expected to do much work today. Geta's slave, the one who dressed you, approached and respectfully inquired, "Lady Aurelia, would you like to join us?"

"Dancing? I've never danced before."

"It's really quite simple. Just allow yourself to become absorbed in the rhythm of the music.”

You noticed she was taking her time deciding whether to take your hand, so you smiled and grasped it. "Then go ahead and teach me."

She giggled, pulling you towards the others.

When you approached them the slaves stopped dancing and looked at you, a little unsure and curious.

"Why did you stop?" "Go on, I want to dance," you said with a encouraging smile.

They looked at each other, smiled back, and started dancing again. Another girl took your other hand, and you all formed a circle. Then they stood facing each other and guided you as you passed through each other. The girl who was Geta's slave was right—it was easy to dance when you let yourself go to the rhythm of the music. It felt great to experience something you'd wanted for so long but hadn't had the chance.  

"You're doing great, my lady." The girl replied with a smile.

"It's so much fun," you said with a smile.

When you switched places with the girl, dancing again, you suddenly noticed that people were gathering around you. 

"It looks like our sister is enjoying herself," Geta said, coming up behind you. You stopped and looked at him with embarrassment. Gaius and the others were standing next to him, smiling and observing you. But you found yourself glancing at the general standing behind them. He was smiling, but it seemed like he was lost in thought. The joy he had when he was with you was gone. Something bad is definitely going on, you thought.

"Our ideas of fun and yours are quite different," Caracalla muttered.

What was the fun in watching people cutting each other?

"Yes, I think it is," you replied.

"Then I'm afraid you're not going to like what I'm about to say," Geta said, coming up to you. 

Your eyebrows arched, seeking clarification on his meaning.

"As a family, we have been pondering the matter of two marriage proposals and have reached a decision." He gazed at Caracalla.

Caracalla laughed, which was a pretty clear sign that whatever he had to say wasn't going to be something you would like. 

"Two candidates, two rivals, one fight and the winner gets the girl. How does that sound?”

"It's a real battle.” Geta grinned.

You swallowed hard, your ears were betraying you. You couldn't make sense of what you were hearing.

“What is the meaning of this?"

Geta placed his hand gently on your shoulder. "Of course, our cousin Gaius is not a warrior. He is, after all, a politician, so it seems that Macrinus' gladiator will stand for him. General Acacius is a formidable opponent, as you may know.”

You felt your whole body go numb in shock. 

"That man's rage is more than enough to rival the General," Caracalla snapped.

"We'll see." Geta replied.

"There's got to be another way," you said, your voice trembling a little.

"The decision has been made. What are you worried about?" I'm sure it'll be a great game.

"Please, brother," you said, looking at Geta with pleading eyes, but he seemed determined. He made you walk a little away from them, with Caracalla accompanying you.

“Come now, sister, don't you trust the General's great fighting skills?”

The general's expression was solemn when you looked up at him from afar.

"If you choose Gaius, you might find yourself widowed pretty quickly. I'll take him out before he gets to Leptis Magna," Caracalla whispered, cruel smile appeared on his face.

Geta snickered. “Of course she won't choose that cunt,” he said, looking at you.

"If you are certain of my choice, why do you play this game? Does my decision not matter at all?"

Before Geta could reply, Caracalla spoke up. "You have accepted us as your family. Decisions like this are made between family. You should show some respect to us.”

"Besides, they should be worthy of you. You're not just any person. You're a Roman princess. Let them fight for you." Geta chuckled.

This made you even angrier. You wanted to slap them both. Everything was a game to them. But you hated that you had to risk losing Marcus because of their childish but dangerous games. You felt your chest hurt.

The festival was over for you, there was no more joy, no more fun. For the rest of the night all the laughter and music did nothing but torture you. Marcus was also silent and his face was expressionless as he looked at you from a distance.

The city was enjoying a well-deserved rest on the first night of the festival. It seemed that everyone and everything had decided to sleep, except you. Your mind was preoccupied with a particular thought. Marcus. The thought of losing him for such a silly pastime felt so wrong.  From your position on the bed, you gazed upwards at the moonlight that was gently filtering through the long window of the spacious room. The gold-embroidered part of the curtain caught your eye when it came into contact with the reflected light, as it shone gently in the moonlight. You decided to get out of bed, as you felt you couldn't sleep anyway. You thought it might be a good idea to get some fresh air. You exited the room and proceeded towards the balcony within. The view from the balcony at night was quite amazing. The Circus Maximus, the hippodrome where horse races were held during the day, appeared to be resting peacefully. The Tiber River, which flows into the sea between Palatine Hill and Aventine Hill, appeared to shine brightly in the night darkness, as though bathed in moonlight. Just beyond the river was a dirt road, the very same road you had traveled many times in a carriage towards the General's villa. 

You prayed to Jupiter, hoping that he might consider allowing you to live there as his wife when he won this fight and married you. Then your gaze shifted to the silhouette of the Colosseum, the imposing structure that had previously inspired a certain ambivalence in you. Now, it seemed to stand before you as an adversary. All the battles and games that were fought in it were not enough to take the warriors who died in all the battles and games. It also seemed to want to take away the most valuable person in your life.

You were startled as you heard footsteps approaching behind you.

"I wonder what could have disturbed our princess's sleep?”

Turning your head, you noticed Julia standing beside you, clad only in her long tunic, a style of dress you were not previously accustomed to seeing her in.

Without making eye contact, she approached and placed her arms on the balustrade. You felt a certain degree of nervousness each time you saw her, and the fact that you were alone with her at this late hour only served to heighten your unease. Her long black hair was waving with the light wind of the night. She was a beautiful woman, though her eyes and lips showed a few wrinkles. Cruel beauty.

"You must be thinking about him," she murmured before you could answer.

It was pretty clear to her, even without you telling her. She was a smart woman, so you were sure she realized it the first time she saw you and the General.

"Are they taking revenge on him?" you asked.

“Because he hid you in his villa? Perhaps, but for my sons, a game is a game. Now he's part of it. Things would have turned out differently had you chosen Gaius. But the General decided his own fate from the moment he asked their permission to marry you.”

You didn't answer, despite all the feelings growing within you. 

"Tiberis (Tiber River),' she murmured. You don't know how happy I was when I found out you had drowned in that river. All my worries were gone."

You remained unresponsive, a shiver ran down your spine, but it was not from the sudden wind.

“But one day you appeared, with your golden hair, the same cheeks that my husband couldn't get enough of kissing, and those innocent hazel eyes, just like the way you looked at me when you were a child, like a stupid, poor kitten. I don't know how I didn't notice the first time I saw you, I must have been so sure you were dead. I must be getting old, I suppose,” she said with a laugh. 

It was as if she was having a friendly chat, which made you more nervous. As your eyes roamed the dark silhouette of the Colosseum, you realised that your real enemy was right next to you.

“Are you sure you won't regret rejecting Gaius and not going to Leptis Magna with him?” She looked at you with a hint of mockery in her eyes, but her voice was almost pleading. 'If you're smart, that's what you should do.’

You closed your eyes tightly, took a deep breath and suppressed all the curses that rushed to your tongue. ‘You wish the General to lose? I thought you trusted him?’

‘There are many soldiers in the Legates with his potential, he's not irreplaceable.’

She approached you as you were trying to control your anger. "You are the one who made him a target. You are responsible for what has happened to him and what will happen to him. Remember that, Aurelia." You could hear the hint of a threat in her voice as she said your name.

Tears rolled down your cheeks as she walked back the way she came. You were already blaming yourself. Hearing the same words from her mouth, as if from your own conscience, increased your pain even more.

Marcus... You didn't even want to consider what you'd do if something happened to him. You thought about your uncle and how he handled it when his wife passed away. He was really dedicated to his work. He felt that his only purpose in life was to try to save more people. But you weren't like him. You were sure your body couldn't handle that kind of pain. You didn't feel as strong as he did. You shook your head and tried to push these thoughts out of your mind. 

You needed to be strong for him. But how could you possibly do that? How were you going to watch him out there fighting for his life when the very thought of it was enough to make your heart ache?  You'd never seen him fight before, but you'd heard so much about him that you had some hope. Still, your worries held your hopes captive and not releasing them. You let your thoughts torture you for a while longer, accompanied by the sound of crickets echoing in the silence of the night, and finally you walked to your room to try to sleep.

Temple of Mars…

The day of the fight.

The temple was relatively quiet when you arrived with Decima in the early hours of the morning. You had come here to sacrifice five pigs to Mars, the god of war. You bowed down in front of the great statue of Mars, which stood in all its majesty in the corner between the protruding tall columns inside, and joined your hands in prayer.

"My Lord, Mars, I beg you to bestow upon me the life of your son Marcus, the man I love, and grant him a victorious outcome today. Juno, the goddess of marriage, I implore you to remove all obstacles that stand in the way of me marrying the man I love. Venus, the goddess of love, I ask for your strength to fight for my love and to guide me to make it stronger. Fortuna, I ask that your fortune favour us today. Jupiter, the god of gods, I beseech you, my lord, to sharpen his sword, to give strength and power to his hands and arms, and to grant him victory. And bring him back to me safe and sound.”

You opened your eyes and saw your tears dripping on your hands, which you'd clasped together on your chest. Decima touched your shoulder and wiped your tears with her thumb.

'The gods will help him, don't you worry anymore.'

You nodded, feeling certain your prayer would be answered, now all that remained was to wait, and time was your worst enemy.

The last person you wanted to see was coming up the steps of the temple. Gaius noticed you and approached you, his smug smile infuriating you.

'My lady, I believe you've come to pray.'

'That's right, that's why I'm here, but I wonder if I might ask why you are here? I thought you weren't going to fight for yourself?" you asked sarcastically.

"I'm the one who has the advantage with the power of thought. Physical strength is of no consequence against it."

"Then perhaps you've come to the wrong temple. You should go to the temple of Mercury."

"My lady, I am in the right place because I have come here to ask Mars to grant General Acacius absolute defeat.”

You clenched your hands into fists, your whole body filled with rage.

‘Once he's out of the way, there'll be no more obstacles between us. It'll be easy to get rid of Caracalla and Geta. Their names will be forgotten. Think of the power you and I will have if we marry.’

After a long period of frustration, you finally lost your temper and slapped him in anger. Gaius wasn't upset. In fact, he seemed amused as he touched the spot where you had slapped him. The imperial guard who had been protecting you interposed himself between the two of you. 

‘I'll never marry you, sir, don't even dream of it.’

‘It was your father's wish, I was with him when he wrote the letter-’ This time his eyes were sharp as he looked at you.

‘I'm not my father!’ The people praying on the steps of the temple turned to you when they realised your loud voice.

‘And he's not here, I'm Aurelia, and I decide my own life. Don't you ever threaten me again. Or my brothers. Especially the man I love.’

The imperial guard stepped forward nervously noticing people approaching you.

‘Princess Aurelia!’ 

You turned your head when someone called out your name. They quickly gathered around you, looking at you with sincerity and admiration. Gaius seemed uncomfortable with them.

One woman approached you and said, "My lady, we've heard that the General Acacius will fight for you, so we pray for his safety and survival.”

They had come here with the same intention as you, which made you very happy.

'The General has saved this city many times, we're grateful to him,' someone said.

'We're still breathing thanks to him!' another shouted. You looked at Gaius with a smile, a smile he knew the meaning of ‘Suck it’.

‘I think you’re done here, Sir Gaius.’

The crowd regarded him with a certain degree of displeasure, and some of them advanced towards him. Gaius retreated, nearly losing his footing on the stairs in the process. As he made his way out of the area, the crowd turned their attention to you. 

“Thanks to your prayers, General Acacius will hopefully achieve a victory today at the Colosseum.”

The crowd responded with joyous shouts. They were now shouting his name. As you smiled at them and descended the stairs, you noticed a familiar face ahead. Octavius was standing by his horse and, upon recognising you, approached you with haste.

‘My lady, you summoned me. 

You asked for him before you came to the temple because you wanted to speak to him about something.

'Yes, thank you for coming by.'

'Of course, my lady,' he bowed his head respectfully.

You gave him a smile. 'It seems you were right all along.'

He looked at you, surprised. 'I beg your pardon, my lady?'

“You always called me a lady, and you were right. I was. You were always kind to me, Octavius. Even when you knew I was a slave, you were always respectful, and I'm grateful to you for that.”

“The pleasure's mine, my lady. But may I ask why you wanted to see me?’

'As a good friend of the general, I wanted to ask you to take me to him before the fight.’

Octavius’ expression changed. 'My lady, with all due respect, this is no place for women.’

You looked at him with absolute determination. 'Otherwise I wouldn't have asked you to accompany me, would I?'

The Colosseum…

Hours before the battle…

The Colosseum had lots of rooms and underground passages. This was where animals and gladiators were kept, waiting to meet their fate in the arena above. It wasn't a straightforward place to get into, especially not for a woman.

Octavius was pretty nervous about letting you into this underground tunnel. If you'd asked the royal guards to do it, it'd probably have got back to Geta or Caracalla, who'd have wanted to stop or prevent you. But you had to see him before he steps into the arena.

However, your plan was about to be thwarted. The guards at the entrance to the large iron gate were quite big and stopped you. 

'There's no room for women here, so you'd better go back.' 

Even if you wore a cloak, your clothes and hair showed your physical features. So you decided to remove it.

"I'm Princess Aurelia. Let me through, please. I'd like to speak with General Acacius."

The guards looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Did they think you were lying?

'Why would a princess come with only one soldier?' one of the guards asked.

'I'm the general's second-in-command, Octavius. Let us through, now.' Octavius ordered.

'My lady!''

You heard a familiar voice and looked in that direction. It was Macrinus.

His voice came from inside, and soon he appeared at the door.

'How dare you keep the Princess waiting at the gate? Let her through, now!'

The men immediately bowed their heads, apologised and opened the gate.

'My lady, I think you're here to see the General?' His smile made you feel uneasy, as it always did.

Octavius picked up a torch and followed you at a safe distance, each sound echoing off the narrow walls as he travelled through the stone tunnels. 

"I understand your wish to see him for the last time.”

You stopped suddenly, your footsteps echoed through the cave-like walls.

"Sir Macrinus, if I may continue with Sir Octavius for the rest of the way."

Macrinus smiled and said, 'As you wish, my lady. I'm done here anyway. I'll see you upstairs in the stands.' He walked towards the door. You continued on your way, not letting his confident demeanour unnerve you.

'Oh, by the way, don't be scared when you see the tiger ahead, he can smell fear,' he said before walking out the door.

You couldn't believe your ears. Did he mean it metaphorically? You looked at Octavius, who didn't look surprised.

‘It's in a cage, don't worry,’ he explained.

‘Tiger, a real tiger?’ You raised your eyebrow.

‘Yes. There are many animals here, stay close to me, my lady.’

A little later, you came to a roundabout where another iron gate was waiting for you. This time, you could hear lots of voices coming from the corridors. You could hear lots of men, swords being sharpen, doors opening and closing, and a roar. When you saw the corridor where the animals were kept, you had a bit of a shock. The tiger was there, a big one, much bigger than you'd imagined when you'd heard its name. And it was just as scary. You stood there, frozen in fear, locked in its green eyes, as if it was trying to find where the fear was hiding inside you. It was an amazingly beautiful and an extremely dangerous predator. A moment later, it let out a roar as if it had found the fear. Octavius grabbed you by the shoulders as you jumped back, trembling with fear.

'Are you alright, my lady?' Let's head back if you're not feeling well.

You couldn't help but laugh hysterically. 'It's beautiful.’ you swallowed hard.

Octavius confused.

You tried to pull yourself together quickly and concentrate on the reason you had come here, but the tiger was so beautiful that you couldn't take your eyes off him. Before long, one of the guards prodded the tiger's hind leg with a spear. The animal let out a roar in pain but then collapsed and rested its huge head on its front legs.

The guard bowed to you and said, 'It's a dangerous animal, my lady. You shouldn't get too close.'

You nodded at him, but it was hard to believe that such a beautiful and dangerous animal could be so close. You could stare at it for hours.

'My lady, this way,' Octavius said, pointing  the other corridor. There were gladiators and other warriors in this corridor. All waiting to fight resting in dungeons, conditions were unfavourable. As you passed through them, you bowed your head, feeling their curious eyes on you. 

You felt regret taking off your cloak, because you were wearing a elegant dress that left your arms and neck exposed, and revealing that you belonged to the imperial family. You had Geta to thank for that, after all, lately he loved to interfere with your attire. 

“A princess?”

“Look at this beauty.”

“I would gladly die for you, my beautiful lady.”

A few masculine whistles and laughs, murmurs, you could feel your cheeks turning red, your mouth got dry. Hearing a few dirty comments, Octavius kicked the iron bars of the cell where they were being held.

“Shut the hell up!”

You fellt relief to move from this corridor to another, quieter one, where you saw a familiar face. It was Cato, the General's squire.

"My lady, sir." He greeted you. 

Instead of iron bars, there was an iron door and an armoury. It was filled with swords, axes, bows and arrows, shields and many other implements of war. 

"Is the General inside?" Octavius asked.

"Yes, I just helped him put on his armour," he said and knocked on the door.

You were nervous and excited, and when the door opened, Octavius nodded then looked at you.

You walked through the door with quick steps, met his eyes. The eyes you had come all this way for.

His eyes showed surprise and then anger.

“I'll leave you two alone.” Octavius closed the door and left to avoid her harsh gaze.

“What are you doing here,” he came toward you, so attractive even in his anger.

“I needed to see you, before...” you swallowed, unable to finish the sentence.

“It's not appropriate for you to be here, how could you do that?”

The general seemed to be wearing his leather armbands. 

“Let me,” you murmured and approached him. 

He held out his arm for you and waited, all the while keeping his eyes on you.

Once you finished, put your hands on his broad shoulders. Under your hands you felt the material of the leather armor he had just put on. It was the same armor he wore when you first met, with gold detailing on the edges and a medusa on his chest. His expression softened at your touch. 

"You always act without thinking," he said with a hint of disapproval.

"I've heard that before," you replied with a smile.

He placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer to him, his eyes tracing the outline of your lips. You could feel his gaze on them.

"You are my only weakness, your presence is the only thing that distracts me."

"Perhaps it would be best if I waited here for you? I don't want to watch anyway.”

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I'd like you to sit there and watch me." He cupped your face between his hands, and you could feel your heart beating faster. "Because, my beautiful princess,, it's only you who gives me strength."

Marcus pressed his lips to yours and kissed you gently.

"I prayed in the temple for you to win," you whispered. "Marcus, you have to win. I can't bear to see anything happen to you."

"I will win, my lady. For you, for us." He kissed your forehead and embraced you.

You prayed the gods for the last time as you resting your head on his chest, your body in his arms. Suddenly the sound of drums startled you. Turned your head in the direction of the sound, accompanied by the sound of the crowd and whistles. Marcus pressed his lips to the top of your head and pulled himself back. 

“It's time, you'd better go now.”

You nodded. “I love you, Marcus.” your voice was shaking.

One of his heart-melting smiles appeared on his face.

“I love you more, my beautiful Aurelia.”

Ima Cavea… (tribune that reserved for the Emperor and senates)

“Sister, where were you? You were almost late.” Geta scolded you. You were pleased that Julia was sitting next to Caracalla, while you sat in one of the gold-embroidered seats belonging to the royal family next to Geta. The farther away from her the better it was for you. However, Gaius was sitting right next to you and smiling at you in a way that made you feel uneasy. You turned your head away from him and looked at Geta.

“What happened to your face?”

He rolled his eyes. “War makeup, if you hadn't gone to the temple earlier I would have given you this makeup too, tough luck sister.” he said pursing his lips.

“Good thing I preferred to go to the temple then,” you muttered. 

He laughed. Caracalla whispered something in his ear. Geta leaned toward you with a mischievous expression. “Would you like to give the opening speech?”

You gave him a stink-eye. He grinned with all his teeth at your expression. 

“Okay, I'll do it.”

He stood up and took a step forward, raising his arms in salute as the announcer announced his name to the crowd.

“People of Rome! We are gathered today for an epic closing to the last day of the festival. The day's champions of the auspicious ceremony, incredibly talented gladiators, will fight and stand for our beloved cousin Gaius Septimius Severus Aper!”

“He forgot to mention ‘consul ordinarius’ title of mine.” Gaius said, offended.

“No one cares,” you snapped.

Caracalla laughed hard, Geta joined him in, both looking at you like ‘good one’. You ignored them, not in the mood for jokes.

With the sound of drums and trumpets, the iron gates opened with roar and four gladiators entered the arena. You weren't an expert in fighting and you didn't have a lot of experience as a spectator, but you had a pretty good idea of what to expect. But why were there four gladiators? Caracalla stood up and came to Geta, applauding with excitement and joy. The gladiators stood in position in front of your tribune with their shields and spears and gave the salute.

“Ave Imperatores, morituri te salutant!” Hail Emperors, those who are about to die salute you!”

“In fact, you should salute both us and our sister today,” he beckoned you to him. You opened your eyes wide, not expecting surely. Julia let out a hissing sound, and the senators murmured behind you. As you stood up, the crowd started to cheer louder. You took Geta's hand, tentatively at first.

“Princess Aurelia!” Crowded shouted.

You whispered to Geta as the crowd chanted your name.

“Wasn't there supposed to be a one-on-one fight?”

“That would be boring, wouldn't it, my dear?”

"Clearly you haven't had the opportunity to observe the General in combat before, Caracalla said, leaning towards you behind Geta. “Hurry brother, call him to show up, lets get them started at once,” he whined to him, clapping his hands.

Geta nodded, “And the man who will fight against them is known and respected by all of you, The Glorius General Marcus Acacius, commander of the southern armies, General of the Six Legions and protector of Rooome!”

Geta's loud cry was pretty deafening.

The soldiers who opened the other door for their General greeted him and wished him good fortune. The crowd roared as Marcus, sword in hand shining under the sunlight, the sands of the arena turning to dust beneath his feet as he stepped in front of the gladiators. You experienced a range of emotions simultaneously, including excitement, tension, fear unease. 

Marcus turned towards you, put his sword on his shoulder, nodded. 

“Ave Imperatores, ave Filia Regis, morituri te salutant!” Hail Emperors, hail Princess, who are about to die salute you!”

Even though the word ‘about to die’ hurts, you smiled at him, and he bowed his head in response. 

“Begiiiin!” Geta shouted.

“Gods bear witneeeeess!” Caracalla joined him.

The crowd went wild with excitement, and the beat of the drums grew louder. Since the gladiators were discussing strategy and walking away from him Marcus turned to face the other way, looks very calm. It didn't seem fair that they had spears, swords at their waists and shields in their hands, but Marcus had only a sword. Had he specifically chosen it himself? It didn't make sense, and you were almost angry with Marcus for it. But you were about to be wrong. 

As one of the gladiators ran towards Marcus, he took a defensive stance, kicked the sand off the ground with the tip of his toe and darted towards him. In a swift and decisive move, he dodged his attack by spinning as if he was dancing and struck him hard with his sword from behind. Marcus quickly picked up the shield that had fallen from his hand and turned to the others, your eyes fixed on the sand where blood from the cut spread across the floor of the arena. You stared with your jaw dropped.

Geta and Caracalla looked at each other with laughter. They cursed and commented, their eyes fixed on the action. You observed Gaius, seated next to you, appearing somewhat disgruntled, which prompted a smile to emerge on your face. Yet you tensed again as the three remaining gladiators circling around Marcus. He glanced at each of them, ready for any attack. One of them roared and charged at him, pointing the tip of his spear at him, the long spear jabbed, but Marcus grabbed the tip of his shield, shoved it aside and charged at the gladiator, his great sword flashing. The gladiator swung his spear back, then thrust again. The metal screamed as the tip of the spear slipped from Marcus' shield, cutting the surface and leaving a long, shiny scratch. Another gladiator lunged with his spear, but Marcus turned quickly, allowing it to pierce the shield, but the gladiator could not get it back out and Marcus took advantage of it and swung his sword at him, cutting his exposed leg off. The man let out a cry of pain as blood began to flow from his wound, spreading across the sandy ground. Marcus made one last move and rushed after the other, cutting his neck and the gladiator's lifeless body sprawled on the sandy ground. Other gladiator grunted furiously. He made a ponderous charge to hack at the Marcus's head. He avoided him easily. The crowd roared, whistling and Geta gave a hysterical laugh and clapped. You were uncertain as to how much more nervous you could become. You felt your heart beating in your throat. The two remaining gladiators exchanged glances and signalled to one another. Marcus observed them with his keen gaze, considering the most strategic approach to the upcoming confrontation, taking the movement of their feet into account. One of them made a quick lunge for his stomach, but Marcus was thrown back and it was ineffective. Marcus cut him, but not where he wanted, he missed.

Then, dodging at the last moment as the gladiator lunged for his right breast, he lunged for the tip of the spear. Marcus was close enough to strike suddenly, his sword gleaming in a blur of steel. The crowd screamed as well. As the tip of the spear was useless, the Gladiator threw it away and drew his sword, but Marcus was much faster, grasping quickly the spear that the other gladiator he had just cut down had left on the ground and thrusting it deep into his groin. The gladiator groaned in pain and staggered backwards, struggling to stand and finally collapsing to his knees. The last remaining gladiator, the banquet-show gladiator, Macrinus' and Geta's favourite, lunged angrily at Marcus. Geta stood up excitedly, Caracalla leaned forward to see better, and you put your hands together and began to pray. He was the gladiator you feared the most. 

Metal met metal with an ear-splitting clang, sending the Marcus reeling. Gladiator followed, bellowing. They didn't use words anymore, just animalistic roaring.The gladiator was the first to move, throwing his spear at Marcus as he ran, missing. This time he drew his sword and lunged at him with a roar, throwing his shield at him as well, Marcus paused in the blink of an eye as the pain of the struck shield caused his elbow. But the sword was making several thrusts at him, and Marcus's retreat turned into a flight backwards, only inches in front of the great sword that cut through his chest, arms and wrist. You jumped to your feet, Marcus' cuts weren't very deep, but they were enough to make you cried out. 

Marcus heard you, but he had to pretend he didn't. He was determined to concentrate and get it over with. He ignored the pain of his cuts and looked at the gladiator, who was smiling triumphantly at him. 

Rejoice now while you can, Marcus thought.

He memorised the gladiator's footwork and swiftly planned his attack. The gladiator made the first move, his shiny sword grazing the surface of Marcus' shield with a deafening sound. Marcus seized the opportunity and brought his sword down on the gladiator's head. But it was a ruse. As the gladiator raised his sword to retaliate, Marcus slashed his muscular thigh and kicked him to the ground. The gladiator was dazed by the fall, and Marcus stepped on his hand with his foot, taking the sword from him and hurling it across the arena.The crowd cheered, and Geta gave a standing ovation and shouted with joy.

'What a battle!'

'It's over too soon,' Caracalla grumbled. You were starting to relax a little, but the blood dripping from Marcus's shoulder wasn't helping. When he glanced back at you, you smiled and hoped he saw it.

The crowd suddenly started shouting in unison. 

‘KIll! KIll! KIll!’

Marcus looked at Geta. With his arm outstretched, everyone eagerly awaits his decision. But you could already see it in his honey-coloured eyes. Geta turned his thumb down.

The crowd went wild again, cheering and screaming. Marcus looked down at the gladiator, who was barely breathing, lying on the ground. He raised his sword and the man closed his eyes. Marcus may have fought like a beast, but he was no bloodthirsty villain. He brought the sword down swiftly and it stabbed through the sand right next to the gladiator's head. The crowd fell silent. Murmurs replaced the shouts. Geta frowned. Caracalla leaned down from the balustrade in frustration. 

‘What the hell is he doing?’

‘Kill him!’ Geta shouted. 

You were so moved by Marcus's behavior that your eyes filled with tears. 

Soon the crowd was shouting the chant once used for the great General Maximus. 

‘Marcus the merciful!’

Marcus smiled at them and made a gesture of respect, honouring his former commander.

'That's just like him,' Geta commented.

Caracalla made a face. You were happy and proud of him, you couldn't be more in love with him.

Marcus walked towards to you while the crowd chanting his name and his new nickname. 

'My Emperors, I fought for you and I won, and I believe I have a right to claim what is rightfully mine.' His eyes shifted to you. It was hard not to throw yourself from where you stood into his strong arms.

Geta laughed, applauding him.

"Naturally, our champion will receive what he deserves." He gazed at you and said, "Let us begin preparations for the wedding of General Acacius and our sister Princess Aurelia at once."

You felt a slight blush come over your cheeks as the crowd expressed their enthusiasm by chanting and cheering your names. Caracalla sat back in his throne and appeared to be somewhat disgruntled. Gaius had already departed. Then the iron gates of the arena opened, and the General was surrounded by his soldiers, who embraced him joyfully, including Octavius. Geta was observing you as you smiled at Marcus with joy, and he was surprised to realise that for the first time in his life he was experiencing a sense of happiness for someone else. 

@myownwholewildworld @orcasoul @pedroslut4eva @immyowndefender @lailathepedritofan @screechingchildfury @shinymusicpanda @somedayheaven @ivoryandflame @negrita2345 @music-lover09 @javiismyhsbnd @idontcareihavenoidea @jisungandpedrolover @mmkkzz @ro-nahime-things

if anyone wants me to tag them please comment :) thank you all <3

[russellsppttemplates]

Hi, could you do a Max blurb in which before Finn was born, Sassy and Jimmy being territorial over the reader and the same thing happens when the reader is pregnant with Julia?

Cw: reader's pregnancy

Note: apparently, this happened with my mum when she was pregnant with me. My parents had a big fluffy Persian cat that got way too overprotective of my mum to the point where he backed her into a wall in your balcony and my dad sort of had to get in between them with a bit of a scare and the cat never came back. I'm doing this in a much less dramatic way though 😅

It was subtle at first, Jimmy and Sassy following you everywhere around the house, even when you were taking a shower in the bathroom, sitting on the rug as they looked up at you.

"Hey, liefje", Max greeted sitting next to you on the sofa and leaning over to kiss your lips. However he was interrupted by hissing from the cats, "Oh, did I step on you? Sorry", Max frowned as the cats' tails were nowhere near his body. Jimmy was now standing beside you while Sassy's hair lifted along the back, "someone's not happy", you petted the cat.

As Max attempted again to give you a kiss, both cats hissed this time, the hair on their backs fully standing up as they widened their eyes at Max, "is this them being territorial?", Max wondered, "you have been with me longer than you've known her", he teased the cats, deciding to stay behind to not cause any issues.

"They want to make sure mama is okay", you smiled, petting their heads as you watched them meow in satisfaction, curling up around you and purring softly as if they hadn't just hissed at your husband.

.

When you got pregnant with your second baby, Max counted down the days, "so I have about a month before they go all territorial over you?", he chuckled, letting the cats go outside for a bit since the garden was closed off and safe for them, "I'd say so, yes. The second time around, mothers start to show a little bit earlier, something about muscle memory and stuff like that", you reasoned.

"Better get all the cuddles I can now", he smiled, hugging you from behind and kissing your neck, his hands rubbing your tummy softly.

(Thank you for submitting an ask ✨️)

[kiri-thighs]

Express | J.Fisher

FEM! READER

summary: you and jeremiah are best friends and you two get into a terrible argument on the beach after showing mixed signals of each other's company. you express your feelings for him at the end of it and he realizes with you two obviously ignoring each other that he has those same feelings for you.

warnings: angst, mentions of underage drinking, cursing + TAKES PLACE IN AMAZON PRIME VIDEO SERIES SEASON 2. If you don't want minor spoilers please don't read OR you can watch season 2 first!! this one shot does not completely go with the plot of the show!

thank you and enjoy lovely readers 🤍

"I can't fucking believe you, Y/N." Jeremiah said, half intoxicated due to them leaving a party at Susannah's house. Susannah was gone and all of you had decided to throw a party.

Rewinding to at least an hour before he had said those words to you, what led up to this moment was surprising. As you and Jeremiah were partying, about to kiss a fight broke out between Milo and Steven.

Another event happened where Skye ended up sharing the news about their mom, Julia making a deal with the kids that lived, well used to live at the Cousins beach house.

You and the others were allowed one week each summer, since the family that Julia had sold it to wasn't going to use it too much. Jeremiah, you and Belly hearing the news, all three of you were happy.

Though there was one person that couldn't accept the deal and that was when Jeremiah and Conrad ended up fighting. You were in the middle of it.

"Jere don't say that-" You said, holding his arm as Jeremiah pushed you away, which caused you to be taken aback. As Belly was leaving, Skye went after her. You stayed as you watched Jeremiah throw hurtful words towards Conrad.

"Jere stop-" You said but Jeremiah looked at you, after everything that he said to Conrad.

"So what you're defending him now too?" Jeremiah asked as you looked at Conrad, before looking down and shaking your head.

"I'm, I'm not sure." You whispered.

"Yeah. There it is again. The I'm not sure from Y/N. One happy thing, such a small thing that everyone could be happy about and you go and ruin it Conrad." Jeremiah said as he walked away.

As everyone seemed to go their separate ways, you stayed in front of Conrad as you felt your chest was hurting.

Conrad was silent, his eyes teary due to the words that Jeremiah said towards him. Conrad looked up as you were lost in thought, your mind vacant before you hear Conrad calling out your name. You looked up at him when he asked, "You okay?" his voice was shaky, hoarse and like it was caught in his throat.

"Yeah...yeah it's just," You started before sighing. "Last summer was messy." You stood there as your voice was shaky too, wondering why in this moment you felt like breaking down.

There was one specific person that you loved so much. That person was Jeremiah Fisher. Yet with how things were going last summer due to the whole love triangle, Susannah and other messy stuff, it was like that again.

You were caught in the middle of it and it was not until this summer that your feelings for Jeremiah were growing uncontrollably larger.

"As soon as school got out, hearing about the house being sold I've been trying hard too. To get the house back. To talk some sense into your dad. To talk to your aunt and I never once told anyone how much things have effected me." You said as your eyes teared up remembering the way Jeremiah and Conrad looked at each other with so much remorse.

"I love Jere. So much, Conrad" You whispered. "Last summer I realized I liked Jeremiah even if he's been my best friend my entire life. Seeing Jere and Bells kiss with Steven, I couldn't take that happiness away." You smiled as you wiped your tears, you weren't a drinker so these were your raw emotions, not intensified too much because there was no alcohol intake.

Conrad seemed to go more silent hearing that Jeremiah and Belly kissed, as if not knowing that already. It was a reminder that Belly couldn't choose. You looked at him as if apologizing for bringing it up.

"Conrad," You called out, "I wanna keep fighting for this house but I don't know how much more all of us can take if it's causing this much damage," You said truthfully as your tears were falling harder. Conrad was crying as well, his head held low before pulling you into a hug.

You two were somewhat the same. Bottling things up, though Conrad got the bigger blow. You hugged Conrad tightly as you sniffled, continuing what you were saying.

"I just had to be there for you both," You mumbled. "You are here," Conrad mumbled. "You are, you really are." Conrad said in a shaky tone, not knowing how else to comfort you. Not knowing if what he was doing for you was helping you feel better.

You didn't want Belly to be alone but the one person that needed someone, knowing that Conrad would go after Belly, you knew no one would be there for Jeremiah.

Conrad pulled away as you wiped your tears. Conrad wiped his away as he patted your head. "Go after Belly," You told Conrad. You pointed to his chest.

"I already know you will." You smiled at him as Conrad nodded. Everyone rarely saw you cry. You knew that you had just let it all go to Conrad, but knew that he had something to take care.

Conrad nodded as he slowly walked away from you, leaving you there to wipe your tears away in hopes that they would be gone. You took a deep breath before walking back into the beach house, the strobing lights still seen through the house's windows since the curtains seemed to not be covering any part of the windows.

You looked through the crowd, trying to find Jeremiah amongst the people dancing and drinking. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes always made you cringe, you and Cam always got along pretty well when it came to parties because you two didn't drink.

You didn't drink specifically because your mom died due to a drunk driver. You didn't want to be that way, and there would come a time when you would finally drink.

You saw spray painting on the wall, people breaking windows and tables as you shook your head, moving past people who were shoving you left and right.

Finally though you found Jeremiah standing against a wall with a red cup already in his hands. You were in front of him as he looked down at you with the same angry expression he showed Conrad.

He was ready to leave, pulling his weight off of the wall as he turned away from you. You grabbed his wrist quickly, making him accidentally drop the red cup in his hand, spilling the drink on the ground.

Jeremiah tried his hardest to hold back his anger, you being his best friend he couldn't be mad. Not at you completely. You looked up at him as he turned around, his eyes still averted away from yours.

"Can we talk?" You asked him, loud enough to go past the loud music that was playing.

"I don't see a reason," Jeremiah said as you bit the inside of your lip and held his wrist harder.

"Then you don't need a reason but I have one." You said as Jeremiah finally looking at you. The reason he didn't want to look at you was because he saw you crying on Conrad.

He knew the reason why you were crying and it was because of him. He knew that too well that he was the one that made you cry, yet he couldn't comfort you and say that it was okay.

Jeremiah pulled his wrist away from your strong grip before walking outside with you, to the beach, a different part of it since Belly and Conrad were talking as well.

You followed after him, as you stared at the back of his head before he finally stopped when you both reached your favorite log on the beach. He turned around as he stared at you with a look of anger still.

"If this is about what I said to Conrad, I'm not taking it back." Jeremiah said.

"Jere you didn't have to say all of that-" "He asked for my blessing, Y/N" Jeremiah started getting riled up, already feeling that anger was bottled up inside of him.

"Yes he did, but he needed someone, he needed his brother and this summer you guys have been butting heads indirectly but things were getting better," You said as had your hands out, you trying not to get teary eyed. Yes you were defending Conrad because he was in the right, but you wanted Jeremiah to know that too.

"Since when were we getting better?" Jeremiah asked as he scoffed, laughing a bit because it was unbelievable to him. "He took Belly away from me. I had to watch him and Belly together. I thought of all people you would know how lonely I was because I was there for my mom when no one wasn't." Jeremiah said, his voice partially raising.

You felt your heart ache as your tears were starting to become visible but you wiped your face while Jeremiah was looking away. You didn't know. How else to tell him. How else could you possibly comfort him?

"Jere," You called out, "I'm here," Was all that could slip out.

"Where were you then? When were you here?" Jeremiah asked as his eyes were tearing up, his eyes seeming to get rid of the anger slowly but it was evidently still there.

"You always comforted everyone else before you came and checked up on me. You ran after Belly when her and Conrad fought at my mom's funeral. MY MOM'S funeral. You told me that you would always be there for me first, you liar." Jeremiah pointed to his chest, as he was hitting his chest with his fingers as he was saying that.

You hated it. Seeing him in so much pain but you were in pain as well. "Jere, I tried to take care of everyone and I'm sorry. I swear I came to check up on you first you're twisting the story," You said, trying to stay calm, while Jeremiah was raising his voice at you.

"You know what, whose side are you on?" Jeremiah asked as he put his hands on his hips, turning his body as he was now rejecting looking at you.

"I saw Conrad hugging you," "Jere are you seriously doing this right now-" "Doing what? Watching you be comforted because you're what the girl version of me and Conrad combined? Bottling shit up and then acting like it's okay? Yet you don't even go and run after me?"

"You aren't making any sense Jere why are you blaming me for that thing specifically?" You asked as you put your hand on Jeremiah's but he pushed you away once again, like he did back there during his argument with Conrad.

"Don't fucking touch me." Jeremiah said with a rough voice. "Whose side are you on." Jeremiah asked as you bit your lip.

You clenched your fists, "What do you even mean Jere?!" You finally yelled which took him aback. You looked away as your chest was heaving.

"When was I here? I've been here the entire time! Being in the middle of you and Conrad. The middle of you and Belly. The middle of you three!" You yelled as you stepped towards him, you pointing your finger on his chest as you were pushing him with it.

"I was there even if I was in pain too. With my mother's death at the beginning of last summer, then Susannah was next. You don't see it do you?" You asked as your tears were falling uncontrollably.

"You needed someone and when you say no one was there for you I watched you miserably. I watched you and felt invisible. You focused on Belly so much when you guys had a thing and I had to act like I was okay with that." You laughed but it mixed with crying too.

"I tried so hard to continuously fix things. Every time Belly had a conflict with Conrad or you I would be there for her. Every time you felt so alone I was there. I was there for each and every one of you and yet you're asking me where I was?!" You yelled.

"Y/N-" Jeremiah said as he took your finger off of his chest and held your hand but you pulled your hand off of him. "I get how much Belly effected you. How much you love her," You said as you knew the next words that you were about to say were fucked up. You knew that you shouldn't put yourself before others.

"I love you Jere," You said, in hopes that he would return the feelings. Yet you knew. You knew that you two made a promise to one another that you would never fall for each other.

There was complete silence, the silence killing you but Jeremiah was taking time to process. The processing ended up stopping, but the next words that Jeremiah said towards you were words that you wished he would never say to you, but he did.

"I can't fucking believe you, Y/N" Jeremiah said as he had a face of disgust. An expression he never had towards you but to others. You saw the way he looked at you, the way that you wished he hadn't.

"So that's it," You said as your breath hitched before your next words came. "You and I were about to kiss, obviously getting even closer during this whole week and you say that to me," You said as Jeremiah looked away.

"That was a mistake," Jeremiah said as your lips quivered, tears falling harder. "I didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to kiss someone." Jeremiah lied, but you didn't know that. Jeremiah knew that he didn't want to hurt you if he was still in love with Belly.

"You wanted to kiss someone?" You asked as Jeremiah nodded. "I love Belly." Jeremiah said straightforwardly. "We promised each other that we wouldn't."

"Fuck- promises are meant to be broken!" You yelled. "Can't you make an exception just this once? That you can love me somehow? The way I love you?" You asked, begging for Jeremiah to somehow look at you the way he always has.

The one time that you finally break, after being so worn out with being the therapy friend, the friend that everyone could depend on but at your lowest moments you could only depend on Susannah and Laurel.

Susannah was gone and that impacted you too but you knew that if you compared it to the pain that Jeremiah and Conrad felt, it would be selfish. That the mother figure that replaced your mom when she passed, was now gone and the last mother figure you had was Laurel.

"I can't fucking look at you." Jeremiah said, his breath shaky. "I can't believe you." Jeremiah said as he started walking past you. You didn't watch him leave, as you stood there, still in front of your favorite log that you two would always have heartfelt conversations on.

Before he could walk away completely, you turned to him. "You can't just leave it at that!" You yelled before Jeremiah stopped. You sobbed as you begged for him one more time, wanting his answer to change.

"Yes I can." Jeremiah said as he turned around, his eyebrows knitted. "I can say that I can't." Jeremiah said, his voice shaky because he was afraid. Afraid that he was losing you now too and it was because of the words that were coming out of his mouth.

You walked up to him and tried your hardest but still he pushed you off of him. He would never treat a girl like this, ever. Yet it seemed like you were a different case. He wanted to get away from you.

"Just- Just get away from me alright?!" Jeremiah yelled which made you stop. You froze and as you did, Jeremiah ran his fingers through his hair before his tears fell as his breath was hitching too.

You watched as he sobbed, his emotions seeming to stir in the pot but with each new ingredient in there, it was the wrong ones every time. You reached out to Jeremiah, but your efforts were short as he finally decided to leave.

This time you didn't go after him. As much as you tried to comfort him, he still walked away without turning back even if your cries were heard. You had tried to hug him, knowing that was always the solution but this time, that solution was last place.

You fell to your knees as you sobbed out, wishing that the conversation ended on a high note but it didn't. Your heart ached before you felt everything suddenly get blurry and shaky. Due to the many emotions you were feeling everything had gone black.

NEXT MORNING

The sun was shining over Cousins beach. The next morning came and everyone at the party was gone. The guests were gone at least except the mess that was left behind.

You felt your breath catch in your lungs before waking up when you felt the glare of the sun hitting your body. You woke up, getting up from the sand on the beach.

"Did I really sleep here?" You asked before your eyes softened realizing no one noticed you were gone. You were hoping Jeremiah would at least bring you inside or be concerned for you seeing that you didn't come inside later that night.

You had your hands on the sand before standing up, your legs feeling numb because of the emotions that were still hitting you right as you wake up.

You walked off of the beach and into the beach house, seeing that the door was wide open, before realizing Laurel's car was there in the driveway.

You blinked before you realized. You ran inside but was met with Belly walking out of the house. Belly was holding her cheek. "Bells?" You called out as held her arm, trying to stop her. She hugged you tightly, her tears falling onto your shoulder.

You were shocked seeing the amount of tears coming out of Belly's eyes. You held the back of her head as you hugged her tightly before she pulled away and walked out to the beach.

You watched as she left, your breathing on double time before walking inside knowing that she needed space. You saw Laurel there, with Steven, Conrad and Jeremiah.

Steven told Laurel that Belly and the rest of the kids were at least here for Susannah's boys while Laurel was absent. After hearing Laurel already knew about the house being up for sale. Everyone walked away from Laurel and apparently you now. Jeremiah didn't bat an eye at you, covered in sand.

Laurel looked over to you before you looked away. "I'll start cleaning up," You whispered. "Belly needs her mom right now." You whispered before grabbing a trash bag, feeling somewhat small as you started to clean the place.

It was an hour or two later that Laurel announced that she would fight for the house and talk to Julia about it. Everyone was thankful for Laurel, glad that Belly reached out to her mom.

You kept your distance from everyone as you felt invisible and sad again. You looked at Jeremiah a few times but he never looked at you. He really did mean that he wouldn't look at you at all.

Julia finally arrived and as the kids were cleaning up, Laurel pulled Julia aside talking at Susannah and her's favorite spot.

You continued to clean up as Belly came over to you with Taylor. "You okay?" Belly asked, her hand on your back. You didn't know that Jeremiah and the others were also listening in as well.

"Yeah, just a little tired." You told Belly. "Jere and I had a big argument last night." You smiled sadly. As Belly pulled you aside along with Taylor and Skye who seemed to tag along, Steven looked over at Jeremiah.

"What happened?" Steven asked Jeremiah who was scrubbing the wall, trying to get the spray paint off of it. Jeremiah shook his head. He knew if he thought about it then he would've said the wrong things somehow.

"Nothing," "Well it doesn't seem like nothing Jere. Taylor and I watched the whole thing. I wanted to punch you so badly seeing the way you made her cry." Steven said as Conrad awkwardly listened, still on the silent treatment with Jeremiah.

Steven put down his trash bag as he made Jeremiah stop too. "I get it. We've all been through a lot of shit man but I know damn well that you love Y/N. More than Belly." Steven said as Jeremiah looked away.

"I don't." "You really are an airhead like they all say." Steven chuckled before making Jeremiah face him.

"You may think that taking the easier option is better but the better option will always be there for you and if I'm going to be honest it's Y/N. You said it so yourself. Belly will always have something for Conrad. There's someone though waiting for you." Steven said since Conrad left the room. Jeremiah looked up at Steven as Steven was awkwardly smiling.

"I.." Jeremiah said before his shoulders fell, "I fucked up so badly," Jeremiah said as Steven agreed.

"Well yeah. Can't say that I don't agree with you cause I do." Steven laughed as Jeremiah nodded.

"I..I don't know. I just don't know." "Well you gotta know somehow. All the things you said weren't her true intentions and even you know that when you start to regret what you said. She's always been there for you. Through everything. Of course she would love you dude. It isn't hard to love someone like you. Especially her. She always finds a reason." Steven reassured as Jeremiah's eyes teared up.

"Do you think she'd forgive me? For the things I said? I've never in my life spoke to her like that. I've never said such harsh things to her and yet in that moment it felt that that was the only thing that I could do." Jeremiah explained, his obvious regret showing.

"Give it a day or two. You'll probably realize it more." Steven patted Jeremiah's shoulder. "What you said was fucked. Even I would be hurt if someone said that to me." Steven said, not trying to blame Jeremiah but he knew that the two would push through.

Jeremiah paused for a bit before nodding. He knew that he had to do something somehow. He knew if he wasn't there for you the way you were there for him, then no one would be. Hearing that you slept on the beach, eavesdropping and everything no one came to come get you.

Jeremiah knew that as a best friend he should've been there for you. To carry you inside despite being so mad at you. He knew that he put his emotions first. Who knows what could've happened. He wasn't there for you the way you were there for him.

Those thoughts of what he said to you last night started to course through his mind. He winced at the thought of everything as Steven went to go clean more.

He would give it a day or two, in hopes that he would realize it all.

That he needed you, and loved you the way you did.

Taylor was currently giving you a hug as you tried your best not to cry. You stayed so strong up until now but again, you were a carbon copy of Conrad and Jeremiah combined. Belly and Skye were rubbing your back as you cried.

You hated the words that Jeremiah said towards you. Taylor had heard it all with Steven and explained everything to Belly and Skye for you so that you didn't have to.

You closed your eyes, hoping that all of this was a bad dream. Hoping that what Jeremiah said wasn't meant. Your chest kept on going up and down quickly. You were hiccuping as your walls crashed down.

You hoped that the house would be in the possession of the boys. You knew though that you didn't want to be a part of it anymore. You told yourself as you were being comforted, that this would be your last summer at the Cousin's house.

THE NEXT DAY

As you all were wrapping things up, Conrad and Jeremiah had a heartfelt conversations the night before. It seemed that everything was able to be fixed yesterday except things with you and Jeremiah.

You of course included yourself in helping Conrad study for his test in Brown to get into Stanford. Everyone was all for it, especially Belly. Yesterday evening was the last time you saw Julia and Skye for now.

After being able to convince Jeremiah and Conrad's dad about selling the house they had in Boston, things started to get good from there.

The morning came around and things needed to finish up. With the house not being on the market, everyone needed to go home and would be able to come back whenever they'd like and whenever everyone had free time.

You smiled as you were saying goodbye to Laurel. While the others were saying goodbye to one another, you wanted to talk to Laurel first.

"Thank you so much Laurel for everything that you've done up to this point." You said as you were holding her hands. Laurel smiled as she looked at you. You looked back at her, and the obvious eye bags were under your eyes.

"I heard what happened between you and Jeremiah," Laurel said as she gave you a hug. "Thank you so much for being here for everyone. We'd love to see you here again next summer or this summer if anything." You softened up in Laurel's hold before holding onto her and smiling.

"I'll think about it," You said as Laurel nodded. Laurel slowly pulled away as everyone started getting into their cars. You ended up actually driving here, so you didn't have a problem taking your time getting home. You took a good look at the Cousins house.

You weren't ready to leave yet, as everyone was talking about when they would next be all together. Everyone was saying the fourth. You looked at everyone in the group before smiling and humming.

"Yeah, I'll be available whenever." You chuckled as you started waving goodbye to everyone. "I'm gonna stay here for a bit longer. Conrad tell me how the test goes. Tell us everything," You smiled as Conrad nodded, with a content smile.

"See you whenever, Y/N" You nodded as everyone seemed to be driving out of the driveway. You didn't notice that Jeremiah actually stayed behind, instead of driving off in his brother's car. Conrad ended up leaving without Jeremiah.

You had your back turned, oblivious to Jeremiah staying behind as you walked into the Cousin's house, going to the pool as you dipped your feet in the cold water.

You heard the door open and looked back seeing Jeremiah was there, his hands in his pockets as he looked over at you, sitting on the ledge of the swimming pool.

You slowly looked away, still kicking your feet gently. Jeremiah slowly sat next to you, dipping his feet in the water with yours. It was silent for a good minute as the awkward silence was sitting there with you two as well.

Jeremiah was the first to break the silence, as he looked at you slowly, seeing that you were watching your feet kick in the water that you were now used to since they have been in there for at least a minute.

"Let's talk?" He asked as you tensed up a little before shaking your head. "I don't see a reason to." You snapped back, repeating his words from last night. To your surprise though, Jeremiah said the exact same thing that you had said to him too. You both switched placed though.

"Then you don't need a reason but I have one." Jeremiah whispered which made you stop kicking your feet. You slowly looked over at Jeremiah, your eyes already teary eyed. Jeremiah stared at your hurt filled eyes as he winced seeing how drained you looked.

Jeremiah reached up as he cupped your cheek gently, but you pulled away a bit. Jeremiah still tried though, holding both of your cheeks as he took a good look at you.

"No," Jeremiah whispered. "Don't pull away," You shook your head more as you held onto Jeremiah's wrists, wanting to shove his hands off of you but you knew that if you didn't want to do that truly.

"But you did," You told Jeremiah as you continued to look at his ocean eyes. "You pushed me away," Jeremiah nodded.

"I know I did, and I'm sorry Y/N." Jeremiah said as he wiped away the tears that were streaming down your cheeks as they were coming down.

"You didn't eat today or yesterday. You haven't slept either. I saw you were still awake even when everyone else was sleeping." Jeremiah said as he put his thumb gently under one of your eyes, seeing the obvious eye bags that already grew.

"It's hard to when you're mad at me." You admitted. "I didn't think you would have noticed me at all since you said that you couldn't look at me," You looked away as Jeremiah's eyes softened.

"Everything with Conrad, I resolved all of it. We told each other that we would talk things out as they come and not let them linger." Jeremiah admitted towards you.

"Things with Belly..I already knew that I don't love her that way. That there will always be a better option for me and..Y/N that's you." Jeremiah said, trying to convince you that the words he said to you a night ago was wrong.

You continued to look away as Jeremiah was the one speaking this time. "I do love you too. In the way that a best friend does but the way that a lover does too." Jeremiah said as he slowly let go of your cheeks, grabbing hold of your hands that he noticed were shaking, seeing your body tremble as well.

He could still see the silent cries you were giving and he knew that instead of being jealous of others that he'd rather be there for you than watch you crying in someone else's arms.

You stayed silent as you listened to Jeremiah, still trying to register everything. "I know..it's hard to forget what I said. But I'd rather say this and take back all of the words." Jeremiah held your hands still, trying to stop them from shaking as he kissed your hands gently.

He closed his eyes, "I'm so sorry for the way I talked to you. I'm sorry for making you cry. I'm sorry for blaming you and lying to you that it was a mistake." You started to sob but Jeremiah didn't stop.

"I'm sorry for pushing you away and thinking you're invisible..you aren't. I needed someone and Belly couldn't be there for me because she was always with Conrad the most. I'm sorry for forgetting about you." Jeremiah's voice started to become shaky, starting to get emotional as he continued.

"I'm sorry for never realizing how much I loved you, Y/N." Jeremiah stopped when you took your hands off of Jeremiah's hands. With this, Jeremiah thought that you were going to get up and leave but you had your hands on his chest, pushing him gently.

Jeremiah looked up at you as you looked at him, hiccuping as your voice finally came out. "Stop," You whispered as you punched him gently, "Just kiss me already," You begged as Jeremiah's eyes widened.

Jeremiah put his forehead on yours as he watched you start to calm down, feeling how close he was to you. Jeremiah gently, hesitantly grabbed your cheek.

"I want to kiss you, I really do." Jeremiah said as your noses touched, booping one another's. "Out of all the people, it was always you." Jeremiah said before his lips hit yours.

Your body stopped trembling, as you melted into the kiss that Jeremiah had given you. Your first kiss was with your best friend. This was Jeremiah's millionth kiss probably but to you, this was the kiss you wanted it to be with.

You kissed Jeremiah, wrapping your arms around Jeremiah's neck as you pulled him closer.

He pulled you closer by the waist as he held you tightly, not wanting to let you go. You pulled away for a second before reconnecting your lips together with his.

Jeremiah tucked some strands of your hair behind your ear, feeling his chest was about to explode because of how much his heart was beating double time.

No one else could make both of you feel this way, both of you knew that for sure as you felt sparks. As Jeremiah slowly pulled away, Jeremiah stared into your eyes as he smiled softly, seeing how out of breath you were.

"The tears are gone." Jeremiah pointed out as he hugged you tightly, burying his face in your neck. You pressed your lips against his curly hair, closing your eyes slowly.

Jeremiah looked up at you again, pulling away a bit from the hug. He connected his lips with yours again, kissing you was so easy to him it seemed.

You kissed him back instantly, smiling in the kiss because you felt better. You felt that things really were going to be okay with Jeremiah. Jeremiah pulled away this time, staring at your lips before pecking it gently with a smile.

Jeremiah rubbed your back gently before getting up and helping you up as well. Jeremiah held your hands before sitting down on one of the beach chairs with you. He put you on his lap gently, having you face him.

You had your hands on his shoulders, having some support as you stared into his eyes.

As you two were silently looking at one another, the silence was broken when both of you said at the same time,

"I love you," You and him stared at each other before laughing softly together.

"Let's stay here for a bit, then I'll come over and sleep over." Jeremiah said as you nodded.

"I'd love that, a lot." You said as you pushed all of your weight on Jeremiah's as he laid on the beach chair with you on top of him.

Jeremiah kissed your forehead gently, having his arms up as a arm pillow.

Jeremiah closed his eyes as he smiled softly. "Me too,"

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

since it's pride month, i want to highlight my favorite underrated/underappreciated queer characters and ships! (part 1/???)

(feel free to add more!)

Lake - Infinity Train (non-canon)

it's not canon but you cannot tell me that Lake isn't an allegory for trans/nb people. her arc is so beautiful and her character resonates with me so much!

i have to admit, i actually kinda hated her in the beginning because of how aggressive and rude she was, but she actually gets good character development and you can also understand why she was the way she was, being a good representation of a minority who is constantly suffering because of the social norms she’s forced into. also i don’t ship her with jesse but i do like the idea of them in a qpr or just being platonic besties.

(i use she/her pronouns for Lake because that's what they use in the series, but also because not all non-binary people use they/them, and it's kinda weird to see people insist on using they/them for Lake just because she's nb-coded. she has never shown an aversion to bring referred to with she/her pronouns.)

Le Chevre x El Topo - Carmen Sandiego (canon)

they are side characters who don't play a huge role in the narrative but they are a really cute couple and have been confirmed to be canon! even without the confirmation, it’s clear that they were written to be a romantic couple.

mild spoiler: after the series ends, they stop being antagonists and instead put up a food truck together! it’s the cutest thing, i swear

Ryan x Min-gi - Infinity Train (non-canon)

my OTP through and through! i say non-canon but the romance is so heavily implied, you cannot ignore it.

they're a good example of childhood friends who had a complicated relationship where both individuals did something wrong, but in the end, they grow as people and manage to mend their relationship together.

Moomin x Snufkin - Moominvalley (canon)

i have only read one of the books and watched a few clips of these two characters but from that alone, it's clear that they were written as lovers (and the author is queer too!)

they are a beautiful portrayal of long-distance relationship where both individuals have different needs in life, but still want to be with each other regardless.

Terrestrius / Terry - The Dragon Prince (canon)

Terry is canonically transmasc and they actually manage to explain this in the series, without making it sound too forced or expository. he's such a sweetheart too, and his relationship with Claudia is actually really sweet, despite the fact that she's one of the villains.

Carmen x Julia - Carmen Sandiego (non-canon)

again, i say non-canon but it is heavily implied that they have feelings for each other, especially in the extra interactive episode, where Carmen leaves a bouquet of red roses for Julia, and Julia is shown to blush when receiving them.

Amaya x Janai - The Dragon Prince (canon)

what’s that? it’s actually possible to write an enemies to lovers romance that is healthy and not extremely abusive?

Amaya and Janai have such a good relationship in S5 (and Amaya is also a great disabled representation!) Janai actually learns sign language to communicate with Amaya, and there are no unnecessary miscommunication plots or drama, they’re just a really loving wlw couple.

Benson x Troy - Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (canon)

when i say we need more mlm ships in animated media!! i’m so glad us sapphics are getting a lot of representation but it’s time cartoons started including more queer men.

benson and troy are just a really sweet couple with a good relationship that doesn’t have a ton of pining or unnecessary angst. while i love complex and tragic queer relationships, i also think that it’s good to show teenagers just being teenagers sometimes.

this opinion seems to be scarce in the queer community, which really annoys me tbh.

Raine x Eda - The Owl House (canon)

i cannot believe that given the popularity of TOH, Raeda is still such an overlooked ship. this might be an unpopular opinion but Raeda is better written and has more chemistry than Lumity and Huntlow.

just within the span of Raine's introductory episode, they managed to establish a clearly romantic past between these two characters, and also an interesting dynamic. and even though they didn't have much screentime, they still turned out to be the best ship in the series. (again, just my opinion, don't come at me)

i think it's so important to show older queer people in media, just as it is important to show younger queer characters. it helps establish the fact that queerness has always existed and isn't some newfound trend that social media invented. not to mention, raeda is one of the very few canon ships that include a non-binary character.

[theocddiaries]

[Shadow is reading a book while Knuckles is watching TV. Shadow's ear twitches in annoyance.] Shadow: Do you mind turning the volume down? I'm trying to read. Knuckles: And I'm trying to watch TV. Shadow: The TV that's on my side. Seems like you only like the rules of this absurdity when it suits you. Knuckles: Listen, the remote is on my side. [shows the remote with a cocky grin] [Shadow groans. A phone rings. Shadow starts looking for it on the couch. Knuckles clears his throat, phone in hand.] Knuckles: Oh, look, look what else ended up on my side. Shadow: Who is it? Knuckles: Your boyfriend. How nice. Does he call every night you to wish you goodnight? [Shadow immediately stands up and goes to grab the phone. Knuckles blows the whistle, making him jump back.] Shadow: Goddamn Pavlov, bells and everything in between! Knuckles, give me the phone, please. Knuckles: If you want it, just tell me you're going to cross, and that your sister's losing the fight. Shadow: Knuckles, stop with the nonsense, you know how Sonic is. He only calls when it's important, because the rest of the time he forgets he even has a phone. Knuckles: Well, cross and admit this house is just as much mine as your sister’s. Shadow: The house is for everyone, but you have to follow certain rules— Knuckles [blows the whistle] Shadow [startles]: I didn't move! Knuckles: No, worse, you were giving me a headache. [The phone stops ringing. Shadow squints his eyes.] Shadow: Okay, then. [goes to the kitchen and comes back with a mug] Knuckles: Hey! That mug is mine! Shadow: Yeah, but it's on my side. And now I feel like juggling it. [throws it to the ground, smashing it]: Well, that didn’t go well, did it? Let me try again. Knuckles [watching him anxiously, and when he comes back and sees the mug, rushes to the limit of the line]: No! Not my Julia Roberts mug! Shadow: You want it? Cross and grab it. Knuckles [hesitates]: …You don't have the guts to— Shadow [smashes it on the floor. Feigns a sad tone]: Ooooh… Rest in pieces, Julia. Knuckles: Nooooo! [looks on his side frantically. Grabs a radio]: You see this radio? Shadow: Yeah. Knuckles: Well… [throws it on the floor and stomps on it]: You won’t see it anymore! Ha! Or should I say, 'you'll hear it no more'? Double ha! Shadow: Knuckles, that radio was yours. Knuckles: Huh?? [drops to his knees to grab the pieces]: No! [stands up, fists clenched in anger]: You've just made yourself a lifetime enemy, hedgehog.

Part 1

[riofann]

3. tempestuous

Authors Note: I am trying something new. I like this story line please give me your feedback. Only reposts and likes please don't steal my work. XOXO Rose

Tempestuous: characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion.

Previous Chapter

Sunday September 8, 2019 

You step outside to see Rio standing by his G-Wagon truck. 

“Hey mama” 

“What do you want?” you hadn’t heard from Alejandro since he showed up to your restaurant nor were you seeking him out. 

“Where you going?” he looks at your outfit a dress with sandals

“It's Sunday and I have things to do. What do you want?”  you ask again

He shrugs “Mind if I ride a long?” he smiles 

You look at him as he walks up to you. It's only when he's standing directly in front of you looking down at you is when you respond “Why do you want to ride along?” 

He shrugs “just want to. Is that a crime?” 

You roll your eyes not in the mood to try and decipher in between the lines “get in” you say as you open the door

Your Sunday reset was now going to be with an annoying company 

You link your phone to car and select your Sunday playlist, 90s RnB something that was a must for Sunday reset

You wait for him to adjust in his seat before you pull off 

First stop- Target to restock on things you noticed this week you need laundry detergent and while there you saw some cute bathroom items that you grabbed. You don't speak to Rio in fact you forgot he was there until you turned to see him observing you  

Second stop- The international store you needed some ingredients for your meals this week

Third stop- The nursery/flower shop

“Y/N!” You hear behind you, you both turn around “I got some new Lillie's...” she pauses realising you and Rio were indeed together  “oh I'm sorry” 

“Julia this is Rio, Rio Julia” Julia the owner of the nursery a mid 60s woman who could talk for hours about plants 

“Nice to meet you” he says nodding his head 

“Nice meeting you too Rio” Julia links her arm around yours and pulls you through the nursery 

Last stop- Groceries you had to make sure you meal prepped for the week 

You and Rio still haven't said much to each other. When you pull into your driveway you turn off the car and turn to look at him “Sooo...”  

He smiles “We got things to unload don't we?” 

You turn back to face your home and remove your keys "Right" You get out the car and grab your purse, open the trunk, before you reach for the heavy items Rio stops you “I got you," He puts his hand to block you “here”  he hands you the flowers “you go inside I got everything else” 

“Okayyyy”

You look back at him gathering the groceries in his hands, before opening the front door. He was acting bizarre today/

After all the groceries are in Rio closes the door and makes himself comfortable by the kitchen island.

You watch him from your peripheral while you put your items away and keep him in your line of sight as you rotate the floral arrangements in your home as well. 

When all of that was done you feel uneasy because he wasn't speaking nor were you aware of the purpose of this visit. Was he going to kill you? Was he going to harm you? Why was he just around? 

He becomes distracted with his phone texting. It gives you some time to look around your purse was far away and it would be weird to go pick it up and carry it around even though it had your gun, the knives were in the drawer near him and you can’t just pull them out for no reason nor can you sneak and hold one behind your back.  You get the idea to pull items out of the fridge for dinner at least you would have a reason to hold the knife then. 

You hear his phone hit the counter indicating he was done, with your back to him facing the fridge you ask “are you staying for dinner?”

He clears his throat “Am I not welcomed?”

You turn to face him “who said that? ”

He smirks “Then why are you asking ma'?” 

You want to slap him who the fuck invites themselves to someone else’s house?

You roll your eyes and pull out the marinated meat “since you invited yourself to dinner you're on grill duty”  you give him a sarcastic smile placing the dish in front of him

He nods and smirks accepting the role

He doesn't say anything as you speak “the charcoal is outside, grill was cleaned yesterday, here are tongs, a grill fork, and spatula, marinade to put on the meat” you pause to think “Oh! and the brush the lighter is on the grill lighter fluid is out there too. Any questions?” 

He,shakes his head “Nope” 

“Okay have fun!” 

You watch as he steps onto the patio before you turn around to prepare the sides and salad. In between you begrudgingly make a drink for Rio, a sign of appreciation 

You walk outside which makes him turn to face you.

“Drink for you and dish for the meat"

He smiles “Good looking out” he raises the glass as a toast to you, you nod and walk away 

When dinner is done you serve him food and sit next to him on the kitchen island. You focus on the music playing and think back to your childhood to not accept the reality of what was happening right now. 

After dinner is over and you’ve put the dishes away in the dishwasher you’re both now just staring at each other as you finish off your drinks. 

“I’m sorry” he says out of nowhere

“Excuse me?” you weren’t expecting that 

He sighs and straightens up so he can face you square, he doesn’t say anything for what seems like forever, your heart spikes as he stands up and walks towards you. You assume he is getting ready to kill you right then and there dammit you had let your guard down again and now there were no weapons to use but your very heavy whiskey glass you were holding. 

“I said I’m sorry” he speaks standing in front of you “For letting Nick get in my head” 

Ahhhh he was apologizing for the kidnapping “okay” you hadn’t forgotten about it but you most certainly weren’t expecting an apology 5 months after, you weren’t expecting any apology actually 

He chuckles lightly “come on ma, you gotta give me something” 

“Apology acknowledged” you give him a tight lipped smile He nods “I’ll take that” he finishes off his drink, rinses the cup and places it in the dishwasher “see you around yea?” you nod and watch him leave your house. 

God did you wish you could call someone and talk about how strange your day was, how strange the apology was. Wasn’t really an apology more like an admittance of fault if anything he hadn’t atoned for what he put you through. 

Thursday September 12, 2019 

“Have a seat” he speaks to you. You slide into the seat next to Mick “We need to expand the business”, your mind flashes back to two Sundays ago. Is this why he spent the day with you? To butter you up to do more work? 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you’re so good at what you do, we’re expanding our territory we will need to wash more money” “Why don’t you have other people do it for you? You have a big network surely I'm not the only one that does this for you” He sighs “You’re not but you’re the best” “What if i say no?” you hypothesize “That’s not an option darling” 

You sigh and start sliding off the booth to leave

“I’m not done”

“You’ve already made the decision what else do you want from me?” He remains silent “Right”

He lets you go and texts you the details later on 

Rio: We have 3 spots we want you to look at confirm which one is the best, see you next week 

Friday September 20, 2019

“Cariño!” you hear as you walk to your car at night scaring you “Oh my god! Alejandro!”

“Lo siento mi dulce, Que Paso?!” he gives you cheek kisses, it was the middle of the night the bar was closed everyone had left 

“Hey whats up?” you keep your hand in your purse 

He shakes his head “No need for that senorita. You think about what I said?” 

“How do I know the 30% you offer is more than what I will get from Rio?” 

“How do I know you won’t screw me over?” 

You smile “you don’t” 

He returns your smile “Same” 

“So what do you say huh? You want to give it a try?”

“I don’t want a blood bath” He shakes his head “there won’t be como se dice?? Ah scouts honor, si scouts honor. We will talk to the Serraño family tell them this is for the best” 

“I still need to think about it” He sighs “You know I offer you something good and you don’t take the offer?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to take the offer. There is a lot hanging and i just need to make sure” you appease to him knowing things could turn out bad for you

He interrupts you “I told you the Guerrero family will take care of you” “At what cost?”

He beams “We can and we will eliminate any obstacles you have”

You roll your eyes “I need to time to think and you’re gonna give me the time I need” you go to open your door and throw your purse in He throws his hands up “Si senorita but time is running out I can’t convince my boss that this is a good idea if you keep turning me down” You stop to look at him “I thought you were the boss?” He adjusts his belt loop “Si soy el jefe pero again we are a family other people have to approve” “What do you want from me?” He shrugs “what we want is the same service you provide for the Serraño family, that is all” 

“Why won't you find another bar?” you ask, because why was everyone acting like you were the only person who knew how to wash money in this big city

“No we want the best of the best, you're the best of the best” you look at him taking it in “consider my offer” 

Saturday October 5, 2019 

You weren’t meeting him at your bar, you were meeting him at an upscale winery where all they served was charcuterie boards, fine wines, and spirits. You dressed the part with heels, dress, etc. 

“Hello stranger” he comments to you not responding to his texts. 

You sigh and finish the details you were drawing in the tablet “Rio”

He waves down the bartender “Halloween season not spooked out to be out at night?” he jokes

“If there was ever a boogey man I’m in business with him so no” He chuckles accepting the insult “What you got?” 

“I’m almost done” you comment, finishing up the wine in your glass along with the finishing touches on the drawings. He remains silent, phone always distracting him of course. You look at him from your peripheral, taking him in an all black attire, nothing new. You also hadn’t told him about Alejandro paying you a visit recently, so you have been contemplating brining it up to him or wait for him to bring it up to you “I’m done, here you go” 

“Cool, aye my man get her another” “Oh no it's fine I am done, I’m going home here you go, keep the change”  you say paying off the bartender 

“Oh come on, I just got here, can't we talk?” You turn to face him “About what Rio?” 

He sits back and places his hand under his chin “anything, the expansion, your flowers you picked up from Julia? That's her name right?...any recent visits”  he confirmed 

You scoff “fuck off” 

“I’m being serious”

“And I am too! Fuck off” 

He sits up straight “I would expect you to be happy about an expansion, it's good for our partnership that I’m giving you more” “Partnership?” You mug deeply “This” you emphasize gesticulating between you two “Is NOT a partnership! This is an authoritarian relationship you say jump and the only thing I get to do is ask how high” 

He sighs “That’s not true” “Then what the fuck happened in June if it’s not?!” He remains silent “Right fuck off Rio! You always get what you want, you don’t care what that means for anyone else! The designs are in there the passcode is on the tablet, have a nice evening” with that you grab your purse and walk out of the restaurant. You don’t know why but you got so upset you wiped the tears away as you made it to your car. 

Wednesday October 16, 2019

You slide into the booth, this time you both don’t even mention each other’s names the tension still thick from the last meeting

“What do you want?” you ask him 

“Oooh what's going on here?” Nick comments he wasn’t a stranger to your bar but he also wasn’t a frequent customer 

“Nothing” “Lovers quarrel?” You turn to face Nick “I should shoot you” He grins “Oooh she’s feisty today brother” “Cousin” Rio corrects

Nick scoffs “We grew up as brothers, why try to get into the semantics” Rio glares at him and he chuckles, picking up a wing from the basket. It remains silent as you and Rio just stare at each other “Well since no one wants to talk I will, we would like for you to tell us the best spot” he hands you the tablet 

“Does it matter what I think? Or you just want to hear me talk?” you ask Nick “It matters, I’m not like my baby brother, I listen” Rio scoffs You sigh and open the tablet. “First option is in a commercial strip mall, there’s limited parking so the other businesses will not be happy and it will affect their customers as well driving away businesses” “Right” Nick nods

“Also getting food delivered there’s not much space for the delivery trucks that would mean that they take up parking spaces or block people in for at least one hour. The second location there’s not enough space inside the capacity will be limited to 100 people total that's including staff and patrons so any major sport event or event like Fourth of July, Christmas night, New Years Eve we will not be able to accommodate people” 

“Okay” 

“Also given the space is small the most we can do is standing tables and limited menu”

“Ohhhh” “The last option is probably the best out of the three, it's a stand alone building with a parking lot,  although the lot is small, parking can be easily located across the street on the deck or on the side. This one allows for expansion if necessary as it stands it can accommodate over 200 people and that comes in handy during large events or busy nights, for safety reasons we can add more exit doors, for design purposes the space can accommodate both booth tables and standing bars and maybe even a pool table area. 

“Niccceeee”  You roll your eyes “so you like the 3rd option but what about location?” “The location sucks for the third one but people will drive for good food and a good environment, 20-30 minutes from the city uber/lyft will not cost more than 40 bucks back downtown on a busy night. The other 2 are located perfectly within the city however because of the other factors I don’t consider them the best place to be.”  

Nick nods enthusiastically “understood understood, bro got any questions?” You both turn to look at Rio, he looks at you and says “no” 

“Okay well I have a bar to run” “Wait before you go we want to tell you which one we’ve picked” “Okay” you say apprehensively “Given all you’ve said the first location is the best” 

Rio looks at him you don’t say anything you assume that was a shock to Rio as well

“Its actually the worst of all 3” you comment 

“But its in the middle of all the action people will shop and stop by the bar”

“You’ll piss off the other businesses local businesses at that” 

He shakes his head “No dear, YOU, will piss them off not us” he smiles 

You sigh defeated “alright whatever I gotta go”

“Brother you have been really silent, it will help if you could show support this is what we discussed remember” If looks could kill then Nick would be dead

You stand up and look Rio in the eye “well I guess the boss has spoken hasn’t he Rio?” you give a half smile before turning to walk away 

“Oooohhh she called me a boss” you hear Nick comment rubbing it in as you walk away

Authors Note: Please leave your feedback, again please don't steal. Only repost, like, or give credit.

XOXO Rose

Taglist:

@katymae12344, @yinmaggiorebass , @flirtyjen, @wnbweasley, @meadows5, @belezaya

[fruitswrl]

‧ new year's shifting pick a pile ✧ ‧˚₊ ❆ ‧ ₊ ⊹˚

{ i've been meaning to do another collective reading but honestly forgot, but hey it's a new year so... this will just be anything you may need to hear right now. i hope you find what you were looking for, and if i was able to help in any way then i'm glad. and just like any other reading you find, take what resonates and leave what doesn't }

❆ take a deep breath... and choose the pile you're most drawn to...

✿ PILE ONE ⋰˚☆

KEYWORDS/SIGNS: rain, orange slices, pie, hot tea, 777, gloomy weather, allergies, ears ringing, dogs barking/whining, 222, trust, hourglass, boredom, keys, heart ache, homesick, road trips, four leaf clover, golden child, shaking hands

❆ a decision, a choice. is this right? am i making the wrong choice? let’s take a deep breath ok? it seems you are at a crossroads of sorts. perhaps you don’t know what to do with yourself when it comes to your shifting journey. that’s ok! whatever this issue is for you specifically, i believe you already have they answer. let’s slow the roll, take some deep breaths and try to see this clearly. to me it seems you are over consuming information. i suggest you log off of social media for a bit, sit with yourself and look over the information you already have, discard what no longer fits you and keep what works. you know you best! some random person online cannot (unfortunately) fix your supposed problems for you. no matter how much advice you seek, you can only do that. you need to let go of this internal struggle, you are only fighting yourself, creating resistance. if the answers still seem to be foggy to you, perhaps you can meditate and look for the answers there.

❆ it seems your mind might be in the midst of chaos, or perhaps your life is as well. yet when it comes to your shifting journey you may just be on the brink of a spiritual awakening you desire (or need). the clarity is within YOU. it looks like you are walking down this path with a blindfold on, unsure of where you are going, what choices to make. maybe there is something you don’t want to face. but these fears and worries do not need to hold you back. let’s try to use them to your advantage. face what is holding you back and if you just can’t rid it, know that it does not stop you, only shows a different part of yourself.

❆ instead of putting your journey and motivations on others, it’s time to look within. there’s only so much more “new” information you can gain. your journey is yours and yours alone. that doesn’t mean it has to be a lonely one though. trust that you have the answers, and trust that there is still a community for you! having so many different pieces of information and advice forced upon you to try and digest and make use of is not helping you. sit with yourself and ask yourself if there is genuinely anything you still need to learn from others at this point? at what point do you let it all go and just use it to your benefit?

❆ maybe creating some sort of routine will help you as well, setting up some self-discipline. on the flip side you may need to let go of perfectionism as well. you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. shifting is supposed to be fun. maybe reflect on what you can do to make this all the more enjoyable. let go of the process and remember where you started.

SONGS ✧

‧ ₊ escaper - sarah kinsley

“ everything changed

but my mind couldn’t change me ”

‧ ₊ wildflower - beach house

“ need a companion…

a hidden prayer

you know your not losing your mind

what’s left, you make something of it ”

‧ ₊ eye contact - fromis_9

“ When I closed my eyes and felt it, there was a small gap between you and me

I want to see you again, I want you so…

When you look at me, the moment I started believing in eternity

When I look at you, it was possible because of you ”

METHOD SUGGESTION ✧

{ remember you don't need a method! }

‧ ₊ void/pure conscious

‧ ₊ julia method

✿ PILE TWO ⋰˚☆

KEYWORDS/SIGNS: waterfalls, cinnamon, 444, crows, 88, water damage. doubles, holiday, patience, crowns, one of a kind, eye on the prize, chocolate cake, stars

❆ let’s take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back! give yourself space to celebrate your accomplishments, big or small, bright or dim. it’s ok to reflect and give yourself credit for all you’ve done, someone has to, and you deserve it. you are at a place of harmony and balance in your journey. embrace it! know that you already have it, and if necessary take a breather, pause and look around yourself. look at all you’ve achieved! it will still be here for you, even if you take a break from it all. whether it’s here or in your desired reality, you are surrounded by so much love and support. even on your worst days. your vision is clear, if you're ready, know that it is yours, and make that first step. perhaps all you need is a little reassurance, you got this!

❆ you’ve clearly invested a lot into yourself and your journey. your hard work will pay off, you just need to sit back and let it. perhaps you are confused over slow results. yet you should persist, for it is already yours. stay in a mindset of gratefulness, if needed share your feelings with someone, talk it out.

❆ stay steady and clear, you are on the right path. if victory is what you want, victory is what you’ll get. you are just on the verge of making a breakthrough. keep going. embrace all your ideas and write them down. let yourself create your vision, live in that moment. your creativity is your strength. you may be overwhelmed with the excitement, all the possibilities. harness it and let it push you further. it is all up to you.

SONGS ✧

‧ ₊ mariners apartment complex - lana del rey

“ i ain’t no candle in the wind

i’m the board, the lighting, the thunder…

they mistook my kindness for weakness ”

‧ ₊ numb - men i trust

“ please forgive me if i ever did you wrong

i’ll be your candle; burn me upside down ”

‧ ₊ moon song - beabadoobee

“ i’m lying on the moon

my dear, i’ll be there soon

it’s a quiet and starry place

time’s we’re swallowed up

in space we’re a million miles away ”

METHOD SUGGESTION ✧

{ remember you don't need a method! }

‧ ₊ intention

‧ ₊ lucid dreaming

✿ PILE TWO ⋰˚☆

KEYWORDS/SIGNS: love, pairing, 555, daydream, interruptions, cats, heartbreak, lonesome, tears, sleeping in, not sleeping enough, castles, cages, 333, 1212, floating

❆ it has been a long journey for you, a hard one at that. you may have found yourself in many setbacks. perhaps you blame yourself, there’s a lot of sadness and anger here. in this moment you can choose forgiveness, forgive yourself and know that it’s all ok. whatever has happened, there’s no use for guilt. open up to a friend, a stranger, someone. vocalize your feelings and hardships. with mistakes you can learn and grow from them, and ultimately come out stronger in the end. show yourself grace and love, and set your eyes on newer and better things. know that no matter what you can still trust yourself. take small steps and build yourself back up. find the romance and beauty in shifting again, it’ll always be there.

❆ i see that you may be someone shifting for love. keep your partner in mind. despite everything, please remember you are deserving of love and happiness. keep your love close to you. just as you wish to be with them, use it to bring you two together. your emotions are not a flaw, feel them, sit with them, BE them. wherever you are and where you want to be, what are you feeling? are you in your bed? perhaps the arms of your lover. whoever you want to be, FEEL IT, let your compassion drive you forward. there’s no need to be embarrassed over your feelings, they are valid, and so are you.

❆ you need to make the decision. you can’t sit in despair forever, pick yourself up and know that there are better things for you. use it all to your advantage, all the bad just as the good. being interrupted during a meditation? that’s fine, it doesn’t have to stop you forever. Distracted? that’s ok, take a deep breath and know that it doesn’t have to hold you back, unless you let it. you don't have to have the most squeaky clean mindset ever to shift, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense does it? accept where you are at, and accept where you want to go.

SONGS ✧

‧ ₊ whale - kim sejeong

“ i find you hidden in the dark night sky

when i walk on the purple road among the clouds

Can I face you only at the end of the darkness?…

Where did you disappear

i miss my whale…

time has become today in front of you ”

‧ ₊ high - slow pulp

“ i have to much in my pockets

i wish they were empty…

my limbs are feeling lazy

why won’t they work with me?

and now i can’t seem to focus my eyes

won’t let me see ”

‧ ₊ sweet nothing - taylor swift

“ they said the end is comin’,

everyone’s up to somethin’

i find myself runnin’ home to your sweet nothings…

to you, i can admit that i'm just to soft for all of it ”

METHOD SUGGESTION ✧

{ remember you don't need a method! }

‧ ₊ fives senses

‧ ₊ staircase method

‧ ₊ wake back to bed

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Vampire Captures Vampire Hunter to Use as Bloodbag part 47

Warnings: none

Part of him expected this to be another cruel trick, a way to shatter the last threads of his hope.

But eventually he found himself sitting in the backseat of a familiar car, driving down the highway with Alex behind the wheel. And the reality hit him.

Home. He was going home. It was really happening. The atmosphere was charged with unspoken tension and eerily quiet, neither the human nor vampire exchanging words except the few occasions when Mallory had to give directions to the house he was to be dropped off at – it belonged to his vampire-hunter friend Julia.

Mallory still vividly remembered the day he'd been taken, tied up in the very backseat he was currently sitting in as he was dragged into the life of a human bloodbag. It made his skin crawl to think about it. Everything he'd been through in over a month – he'd changed a lot. His hair had grown long and wavy, shoulder-length, and there was a bone-deep weariness that clung to him, a constant state of exhaustion he couldn't shake off. Would Julia still recognize him?

Finally, Alex's car rolled to a stop in front of an achingly familiar house, single-story and painted white, sticking out in the darkness of the night.

Mallory's hands were trembling with anticipation as he opened the car door and got out, shivering against the night chill that kissed his bare skin.

Alex came around to meet him, shuffling uncomfortably on his feet and looking like he wanted to speak, but wasn't sure how. So Mallory spoke first.

“Thanks… for the ride,” he blurted sheepishly. “And setting me free.”

Alex nodded grimly in acknowledgement, jaw working. “Yeah, you deserve it,” he mumbled guiltily. “Having you around wasn't all bad, but… I know it never would have been your home if you'd stayed at my mansion. So I'm sorry for keeping you as long as I did. And… for all the pain I caused.”

The heartfelt apology caught Mallory off-guard, and he blinked dumbly at the vampire standing next to him, not quite registering the significance of those words coming from the proud, cocky bloodsucker.

“I suppose this is farewell, then.” Alex took a step away from him, dipping his head knowingly. “Who knows, in your risky line of work maybe you'll encounter a vampire willing to turn you, and you'll end up like me. My mansion door is always open if you'd like to return. I could show you the ropes of how to feed properly, and–”

“--No chance, leech,” Mallory laughed. He knew Alex was being sarcastic, but the words brought up some unwanted thought trails he'd rather bury and not think about. Such as what life would be like if he was a vampire himself. “Honestly, I hope I never have to see your face again,” he added teasingly.

Alex flashed him a familiar fang-filled grin, walking around to get back in his car and drive off. “I bet you'll want to see me more than you're willing to admit,” he retorted, then got in and shut the car door before Mallory could clap back with something snarky.

Mallory watched him peel away, the car driving off down the street and leaving him alone standing in the cold night in front of his friend's house. He was going to have a lot of explaining to do.

He trudged up to the front steps of the house, cautiously knocking on the door and holding his breath anxiously. He could see his breath coming out in white puffs in front of him as he stood shivering, waiting hopefully.

One minute passed. Two. But finally, he heard shuffling somewhere inside, and a moment later the door swung open. Julia stood there with a hand on her belt full of stakes and silver objects in case it was an intruder she was answering the door to. Her eyes blew huge at seeing who was standing on her doorstep.

"MALLORY?" She shrilled in disbelief. She tugged him into the house and looked him over, jaw slack with shock. “You’re alive?!”

And Mallory fully broke down in tears, gushing about everything that had happened. He never thought he'd be outside of Alex's mansion again. But here he was, free. To start over. Put his life back together.

⏪️ Back Part 1 of Sequel

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy @floral-comet-whump

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @nevermore-ramblings @mj-or-say10

@tippytappytyping

[ur-fav-h-anon]

I Get Off

Finally, the Donaka fic. it's only been a month to the day that I haunted Julia's blog with this. My excuse is that I got distracted by watching CSI.

TW's: Implied consent (I don't know what else to call it. Its not noncon, and not really dubcon.), voyeurism, power imbalance, fingering (but no penetration. I prommy it makes sense), Donaka cares in his own way.

You’re not exactly sure what it was that tipped him over the edge. The best guess you could make in your thinking impaired state is that it was an accumulation of many, many small things, some of which may not even be your fault. But, however it happened, whatever caused it, it was of little importance to you right now. 

You hadn't processed what was happening until he had forced you into an unused bedroom of his house. It was only once you saw the camera set up, pointing at the bed that you understood at least partly what was about to happen. Normally his cameras were hidden, out of view and unnoticeable. He wanted you to see this one, he wanted you to know that whatever he did to you in here, people were watching. He had then ordered you on the bed and made you sit on the end so he could adjust the camera. Once he was sure the camera was set up to his liking he ordered you to strip as he turned around to open a familiar silver briefcase. 

Had he started streaming? There was really no way to know. All you knew was that you needed to strip for him. So you do. Maybe if you had known what was going on you would have made a show out of it, taking your time stripping off your light camisole and loose skirt. By the time you're down to just your panties and bra he's turned around again, now  donning the mask and heavy gloves that you know so so well. His dark eyes are unreadable from where they show through the eyeholes, you think he could be amused but really you don't know. Instead of thinking about it you focus on stripping off your underwear, but he interrupts you with a hand.

He manhandles you down on the bed, splaying you out just so. what you don't notice, too busy with the feeling of his hands on your body, is how he adjusts your head in a roundabout manner, until it's nestled comfortably against him. What you don't know is that from where he rests it your face is completely out of frame, the view of the camera starting at your collarbones.

Your bra is already off on the floor but your panties are still on, something he remedies with dexterity that you often forget he's capable of. You know he does just about everything in life the same way he practises martial arts, heavy and sure. So it's easy to forget that he's capable of more than that at times. 

Once you're bare he adjusts your legs again, making sure that you're at a good angle for his touch more than for the view of the camera. He rests a hand down on your core, just cupping it gently as he settles you, his other hand on your lower stomach to hold you where he wants. As soon as he's satisfied, the hand over your core starts to explore, just moving in gentle strokes, top to bottom, to make sure you're wet and ready for the pleasure almost pain he's going to inflict on you. He can feel you, not with the thick leather of the glove in the way, but he knows your body, he knows when you're ready. And when you are, he starts his torture of you

One of his fingers finds your clit and starts to circle, drawing whines and moans out of you with ease. What you don't know as he draws sound after sound out of you is that he's the only one that can hear them. There's no sound on the stream. He may show you off, but you belong to him, only he has the privilege of hearing the noises you make and seeing the way your face twists in pleasure.  

He stares down at you from behind the mask, dark eyes watching you as he works you up to the peak then denying you. He does it again and again, swirling thick gloved fingers in tight circles over your clit. He knows you well enough to tell just by the noises that pour out of your mouth how close you are to that sweet peak. 

You are his, his bird in hand. He knows exactly with how much pressure to hold you. He knows exactly how many times he can deny you before you become squirmy and hard to handle. And its when you reach that point that he switches tactics. Painful denial becomes intense pleasure. 

You know the exact moment he chooses to switch, even through hazed, glassy eyes you can see the moment the look in his dark stare switches from dangerous amusement to ravenous hunger. 

He works you up again, but this time, he doesn't slow down on you. No. This time he speeds up, almost brutally forcing you up and over the highest peak of pleasure. And he doesn't slow down then either. He maintains the tight, fast, heavy circles as you writhe and shutter and scream for him. He forces orgasm after orgasm out of you, giving you what feels like as many as he denied you. You have no idea what either of those numbers are, they are lost, first to the frustration of denial, then to the overwhelming pure ecstasy he inflicts.

It doesn't take long for you for the pleasure to consume you completely and just like he knows how much denial you can take, he knows exactly how far to ecstasy he can send you. It wouldn't do to break you, at least that's what he tells himself as he removes his hand from your core. He peels off the leather glove, dropping it on the bed beside you to avoid smearing your wetness on your skin, something he knows you hate. You're too far gone to react as his bare hand gently caresses your body and adjusts you into a position to cover your modesty. 

And just like that, the show is over.

He removes the remaining glove and mask and strips off his suit jacket. He doesn't bother to redress you in your own clothes, instead manipulating your pliable body into the jacket that dwarfs you. He's only gentle like this in moments you won't remember, times when you're not in your body to witness the almost tenderness with which he picks you up and takes you to the small room you've claimed as your own. He cleans you up and settles you in the nest of blankets you call a bed. You're safe there, all tucked up and observed at every angle by his looming eyes.

Later, when he's settled back in his office, watching you sleep contently, he looks over the almost obscene amount of money his showing of you generated and plots exactly how he's going to spend it on you.

[doumekiss]

Hello ^_^

My book of short stories is finally published in english (I decided to do it today to already start the year with a small accomplishment for the list) 

I also mentioned in the acknowledgements of the book, but thank you again to @lilybarthes @eroshiyda @desperatepleasures and @rextrinsic for the help with the translation to english.

Below I'll be putting the first short story of the book for you guys to check out and see if it's your cup of tea.

The Doll and Her Girl 

This is a love story.

Some may say otherwise but pay no attention to them, pay attention to me, as my sweet Julia did.

Love had not been kind to me up until this point. I had a few owners before my Julia, girls who seemed nice at first, who brushed my hair and admired the beauty of the porcelain that formed my body and the delicacy of my clothes and hat. But who in the end proved themselves to be the opposite and ended up breaking my heart. And putting me in a position that forced me to break their hearts, too.

For my Julia, finding me was a discovery, but for me it was a rescue. 

A nosy old woman had found a way to trap me, to leave me in the darkness with nothing but my memories for company. 

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, only enough to know that the nosy old hag was dead and her evil spells long forgotten. My girl opened the box by breaking the seal on the outside, and from that moment on I was hers. And only hers forever.

She took me in her arms, and held me as if I were a baby. She showed me the house I already knew, telling me how she and her mother had just moved there to be closer to her grandmother who was sick. 

She called me Olivia. That wasn't the name I had before, but I didn't mind. A new name seemed like something that could be good, it meant a new beginning, a new life — and I definitely needed one of those. 

She took me to her room and served me water, pretending it was tea in a small cup. She combed my hair, untangling the strands with a gentleness that had so rarely been shown to me. 

Brushing off the dust, she told me that she had never seen a porcelain doll with brown eyes and brown hair like hers, that they were almost always blonde-haired and blue-eyed. And Julia took one of the dresses from another doll and put it on me, saying that since I was the prettiest of the dolls I deserved the prettiest dress.

The other times I had been more cautious, waited a little longer. But something made me trust her even on that first day, so I gently sent my thoughts in her direction, letting her know that there really was someone there, someone listening. 

She could have screamed, as others had done in the past, but instead she smiled. 

It would have been a perfect moment if her mother hadn't walked in at that instant and said: 

"Where did you find that thing?" 

The thing she was referring to was quite obviously me. Can you blame me for not liking the woman? 

"In the attic." 

"You shouldn't have gone up there alone. I haven't had time to clean it yet; there might be rats." 

"I didn't see any rats." 

And it should have ended like that, but she kept talking and talking and talking, and every word made my little girl feel worse, and that horrible woman didn't seem to care. 

And even after she left, my Julia continued to feel sad. 

That night she put me on her bedside table before falling asleep, and I watched her until she woke up again. 

For a week my days were heaven on earth, with her spending every waking hour and sleeping beside me. She would take me to the dinner table and to watch movies in front of the television in the living room. We would play and sometimes I would let my thoughts go to her, and I would tell her things about my past, the cruelties and indignities that this life had made me suffer, and I would tell her how grateful I felt for her, for that spring in my soul after such a long hard winter.

But school started and Julia's mother wouldn't let her take me with her. 

We were apart for just a few hours, but I had become so unaccustomed to being alone. In just the first few weeks it became clear that life was so boring during the hours she was at school, and the house so empty and so different from what it was when I was stuck in the box.

Julia's mother was also out at that time, so I started exploring the house. It was hard to move, it took a lot of concentration, I had to use a lot of who I was before this porcelain body, before another nosy old woman, the first one, put me here, but I did it. 

Sometimes I went into the other rooms, but most of the time I went to the windows to watch my little girl coming home, and she would see me and come running to find me no matter which window I was at. 

In retrospect, I admit it was foolish of me, because I should have realized that if my little girl noticed my little walks around the house, her mother would notice too.

One day she arrived before Julia and found me at one of the windows, she took me to the trash can on the street corner and threw me out without ceremony. 

I tried to move the lid to get out, but it was too heavy, moving in general was already so difficult. 

And my little girl was too far away for my thoughts to reach her and ask her to come rescue me. It felt like the end. 

But she came anyway, like an angel, like the heroine of a fairytale ready to save her damsel in distress, and she hid me in her backpack and told me I had to stay there so her mother wouldn't throw me in the trash again. 

At school she would take me out of the backpack and show me to her friends, some of them seemed beautiful, some intelligent, some kind, but none as much as my little girl. And maybe we could have continued like this forever, but another nosy old hag showed up.

I don't know how these horrible women keep finding me, they are the plague of my existence, they are the ones who trap me in pieces of cloth and boxes to rot while time keeps passing and passing.

I was in the backpack, hiding and waiting for the hours when I could be with my little girl again… when I heard a voice I didn't recognize. Initially it was too far for me to be sure of what was being said, but  it soon approached.

"It's closer now, there's something very wrong here." said the voice that until then I had never heard.

And all around there were sounds of doors and drawers being opened and rummaged through. I wasn't that scared until I heard the alarming sound of the backpack  being unzipped.

Julia's mother screamed when she saw me, the nosy old woman next to her looked at me coldly.

"What are you screaming about?" the old woman said.

And Julia's mother went on to tell a horrible story full of words like creepy and possession, making the beautiful months I spent in the company of my little girl seem like something out of a horror story.

The old hag told Julia's mother not to worry, that she was going to get rid of me. And then my little girl, who had been listening to everything behind the door, started crying and protesting that it wasn't fair, that I was her friend. 

Even from outside the house I could hear my little girl still crying as the old woman took me away.

We arrived at the hag's house, she took me to the backyard, poured alcohol on me, lit a match and then set me on fire. 

The flames reminded me of old things, lost things, things I desperately didn't want to remember. But with this also came the knowledge of how to rise from the ashes. With the fire came freedom. 

I waited some time before I could begin to rebuild myself. I could have remade my body in many ways, but I chose the same form I had been in before, after all, it was with that appearance that my Julia knew and loved me.

And then I moved, much more easily than before, with a body that was truly mine now. A part of me wanted to go straight to my girl, but I didn't, after all it wasn't just for her that I came back, but also for the old woman. 

I always come back, especially when I have something to come back for. Be it love or its opposite. And such cruelty could not be ignored.

It was much easier than I thought it would be. 

I didn't have to do anything more than show up at the kitchen door, and let my thoughts invade the old woman's mind to make her heart stop. 

It's not my fault she  possessed such a weak heart.

The old hag’s body was found by one of her neighbors in the morning, stiff and cold on the ground, and they found me next to her.

Men came to take her body away soon after. And just before dusk, Julia's mother came, grabbed me by the arm as if touching something putrid and took me out to the street, to do again what she had done before, throw me in the trash.

But this time I didn't let her. I sent my thoughts to her, not gently like a caress like I did with my Julia but like a knife, so that only my voice could be heard in her mind.

And from that moment on, she finally understood what the price would be for being someone who meddles in things that are none of her business.

Now my little girl puts me on the nightstand, kisses my forehead and wishes me good night.

Julia's mother watches our little ritual from the doorway. It’s quite clear she still hates me, but she learned the vital lesson that it would not be in her best interest to stand in the way of true love.

The lights go out and I stare at my little girl until daylight breaks and she wakes up.

This is a happy ending.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Edit: apparently there is something wrong with the link at the start so I'll be putting it here:

The link to buy on amazon : https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DS1J7WTD

For those of you who would like to read it but are low on cash I made it available to read on the internet archive : https://archive.org/details/the-monstrous-feminine-tales-of-beauty-and-horror

[beachlifelez]

“Thanks for picking me up, Mrs. Grant.”

“Of course, Julia. It’s good to see you again. Are you prepared for the ride to my house?”

“Yes, ma’am. I took off my panties in the restroom before coming out.”

“Good girl. Why don’t you give me a little show during the ride? You know how I love to watch.”

“Yes, ma’am. I love to play for you.”

“Save your climax for my tongue when we get home, though. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am. May I start now?”

“Please do.”

[russellsppttemplates]

reader and max playing hide and seek with Julia and Finn

It was your husband's turn to countdown while you and the kids hid in the garden, Julia finding her spot by the climbing roses, "my dress is pink so I'll be well hidden - like a disguise", she smirked, happy with her course of action.

"Mama, that spot there is really good, I was the winner when I hid there!", Finn pointed to the area beside the garden shed.

"Thank you, my love - careful with the tree branches, okay", you warned, following his idea for your spot as you watched him climb the small tree - it would be string enough to support him but low enough that falling from there wouldn't be too bad. Still, it was preferential he didn't fall altogether.

Max knew better than to look inside the house - it was sunny out and he was sure you had all stepped out to the garden. Julia was the first one to get caught as she giggled while she saw Max look under the loungers and the sun umbrella, "I spy a little princess in her pink dress", Max sang as the little girl snickered, running up to her father and jumping to his arms.

"I thought it would be a good disguise because the flowers are the same colour as my dress", Julia explained as she showed him the fabric, "that was very clever, Julia", he smiled, kissing her cheek.

A creak from the branches let Max know where your son should be, walking with Julia closer to the tree and finding him, "hey Finn!", Julia giggled.

"You found me! Only mama left to find", Finn smirked, knowing fully well where you were.

Max walked around a little bit more until a specific scent his his nostrils, "I can smell mama's perfume", he blurted, "she can't be too far", he murmured, walking closer to the shed and catching you, "here you are, liefje", Max gasped.

"Papa said he could smell you!", Julia beamed before giggling, jumping to the floor, "it was like that dog in the cartoon when he's looking for his friend!".

"Our daughter just compared you to a dog, Max", you kissed your husband's clothed chest before patting it.

"It's true, though", he brushed your hair away from your eyes and tucked it behind your ears, "I could recognise your scent anywhere", he kissed your forehead.

"Sounds a bit territorial and animalistic, love", you chuckled again.

"You're mine and no one else's, I don't think it's such a bad thing", he assured as Finn pulled on his shorts, "it's my turn to count, you have to go hide!".

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

[whore4billie]

GO AWAY - M.S

Summary- Y/N and Matt have been fwb for around 3 months now. Except the friends part isnt really there. Its more of just fuck buddies honestly. He was fucking multiple girls and there was no feelings involved with anyone..... but y/n had stupidly caught feelings for Matt. She knows she should hate him she knows she should get rid of him, block him on everything and move away from Boston so he cant find her, but she can't. She keeps going back.

Warning(s)- swearing, breaking down, mentions of sex, nothing else I dont think.

Not proofread as usual LMFAO

its around 10pm and all i could think about is Matt. I cant get him out of my stupid head. This isnt what friends with benefits entails. And i know he doesnt feel the same. Its been about 2 hours since i texted him and he saw it almost an hour ago. I text him again.

to: Matty❤🖕

Busy wit your side hoes? Tell Khloe or Missy or Julia or Tiff or whoever your balls deep inside I said hi dickhead 🙄🖕

From: Matty❤🖕

You need to chill out, you act like we are actually together or something but the main thing is were not together. We never will be. We're friends with benefits were fuck buddies whatever you wanna call it but we. Are. Not. Together. Got it? So why the fuck do you care if i sleep with someone else so much?

Fucking ouch. I felt a sting in my chest there was no need to be so harsh. I hold back my tears as i type my reply.

To: Matty ❤🖕

I dont care but i just dont want your other hoes STDS thank you very much

No Matt im lying I do care because im in love with you. I care about you sleeping with other people because I want you for myself. And it hurts so fucking bad seeing you flirting with other girls and hearing about the other girls youve slept with. But i cant tell you that.

I check to see if he's replied. Read- 2 minutes. Why am i suprised. I need to get him out my life. He's messing with me he knows exactly what hes doing. I go to his contact and press block. Done. So why am i still thinking about him. Maybe if i put music on it'll distract me. I press shuffle on my playlist and go away by Tate Mcrae came on. Oh for fucks sake.

"Everytime you look at me it's never enough for you it cant be fair to me cuz boy you know im so damn in love with you"

The universe is against me.

"Oh I've been stuck seeing your face in everyone shouldn't have played in your game of fun now i dont think im okay you never go away"

"Oh enjoy the show you seem to love when im alone you like to care until you don't now i dont think im okay you never go away"

Really? I cant escape Matt. Everything reminds me of him. Ok maybe I just need sleep.

-Matts pov-

Matts going out tonight with a girl from bumble. He found her on there and shes the only one hes actually liked on there. He texts Y/N

To: y/n

Youre a freak. You act like we are actually together we're just fwb remember. Get that into your thick ass skull im not interested

[Text isnt available to send click here to try again]

To: y/n

You blocked me? The fuck?

She blocked me? The fuck? What the fuck is her issue. Fuck this I'm cancelling that date and im going to Y/ns.

It's about 3am when i get to Y/n's house and I text her to open the door.

[Text isnt available to send click here to try again]

Oh for fuck sake im still blocked. I start knocking on her front door and notice her bedroom window is open. "I know youre home open this damn door" i shout up to her. She's being so childish why is she even mad?

-Y/n's pov-

I wake up to banging at my front door and check the time: 3:26am. Who would be here at 3am for fuck sake. I look out my bedroom window and see Matt banging on my front door. "Matt fuck off its 3am I dont wanna speak to you" i shout from my bedroom window. "Why are you being like this? Open the damn door and talk to me like an adult I didnt do anything wrong here you're getting unnecessarily mad about this" Matt yells back. The nerve of this bitch. "I'm not unnecessarily mad Matt I have every right to be mad. Your fucking with my head and you know damn well what your doing Matthew so don't act like you dont" I shout in a whisper, my voice breaking. "Why because you're stupid ass caught feelings? Why the hell is it my fault you cant keep your emotions in check? Thats not my problem." Matt yells. Well ouch. What the fuck is wrong with him? Who does he think he is? "Matt im not doing this with you" i shut my bedroom window and slide to the ground in sobs. What. the. fuck.

_________________________________________

So this is pt1 lmk what you think gimme brutally honest opinions on this idc if theyre rude be brutaly honest

@recklesssturniolo @caroline12b @chrisfavoritepepsi @mattscokewhore @sturnioloshacker @freshloveforthefit @carolsturns1 @carolinalikesthings @mangoposts @sturniozo @luvmxtt @mattestrella @lacysturniolo

[theemporium]

click 'here' to unlock the other boyfriends!

.

Steve Harrington didn’t show it easily, but he was a pretty lonely guy.

Not that anybody would’ve ever expected as much. He was Steve Harrington, one of the most—if not the most—popular boy of Hawkins High. He had parties almost every weekend, had people always following him, had people fawning over him. 

There was no one in the world that seemed more admired than him. 

But the smiles and laughs and large crowd of admirers didn’t mean much when he returned home to a large, empty house. 

It felt quite stupid to complain about, and he was very aware of that. There were bigger problems in the world, in other people’s lives. It felt a bit privileged to whine about the fact his parents were never around and he grew up in a mansion that felt like a ghost town most of his life. It felt like such a miniscule objection in the grand scheme of things but it was so fucking lonely. 

Even the nannies he had growing up were detached, barely even acknowledging him as a child. He was just a paycheque in their eyes. And even they stopped after his parents thought he was old enough to keep himself alive at the big age of twelve years old. 

Steve couldn’t help it. He was a people’s person. He craved to have people around him. The loneliness was suffocating and he sometimes felt like he was scrambling to hold onto the people in his life—his friends, his girlfriends, his teammates. He felt like he was pushing and pushing and not really receiving much in return. 

A lot of people assumed that meant Steve came off quite clingy but, truthfully, you just found it endearing. 

“Back again, Harrington?” 

“Couldn’t leave my favourite girl to bore to death.”

You snorted, the sound only making Steve’s grin widen as he rounded the counter and jumped up on a spot right next to where you were situated. You glanced over his attire, taking in the bright blue shorts that stretched across his thighs before your eyes snapped back up to him. 

“Come to die with me then?” You questioned, eyeing the empty store (the one that had been empty since you started your shift) before looking back at the boy. 

“Oh yeah,” he nodded his head. “Like Romeo and Julia.” 

“Juliet,” you corrected. 

His grin widened. “Book nerd.” 

“Comes with the job,” you retorted as you halfheartedly waved at the store around you. 

It was funny, really. Never in a million years would you have ever considered yourself and Steve Harrington to be friends in school. And yet, all it took was a summer full of minimum wage jobs and and sympathy on neither of you having a fucking clue what to do with your lives after school.  

All it took was one broken car and an offer to carpool for the two weeks yours was in the garage for you and Steve to become friends. 

Him working in Scoops Ahoy and yourself working in Willy’s Bookstore—you were quite a pair. 

And without fail, whether he was working or not, Steve always showed up to entertain you at work. Whether it was during his own breaks or on his day off, you didn’t think a day had passed where you hadn’t seen the boy this summer. 

“You don’t have to come here,” you said eventually as Steve began to thumb through a random book beside him. “It’s boring but I’ll survive a shift.” 

“I know,” he answered with a shrug of his shoulders, his gaze focused on the words on the page. “But I like chilling here with you.” 

You tried to bite back your grin. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah,” he lifted his head, a light tint to his cheeks. “Plus, I was thinking…” 

“Never a good sign,” you teased. 

He rolled his eyes, but the nerves were still there as he tapped them against his thigh. “I was thinking we could do something after your shift ends.” 

You raised your brows at the boy. It wasn’t unusual for you and Steve to do something after both your days were done. Though, more often that not, it resulted in the two of you grabbing something from the food court and eating it in his car, or him coming back to your apartment to crash on the couch. 

You never went to his place. You never really questioned it. You had asked once, casually one night when you were sitting on the couch watching some movie he had brought with him, and he had just said his place wasn’t as ‘homey’ as yours. You didn’t push the topic after that, you quite enjoyed having him in your space. 

“You got another movie for us?” You asked. 

“No, I mean—” He paused, letting out a long breath before continuing. “I thought we could do something different.” 

You raised your brows. “Like what?” 

“I—” He faltered for a second. “I didn’t think that far ahead.” 

You stared at him with an odd expression. 

“God, right, fuck. I didn’t do this right,” he muttered, mostly to himself. He cleared his throat as he slid off the counter, turning to look at you as he tried again. “I want to go on a date with you.” 

You blinked in surprise. 

“That sounded demanding,” he winced a little. “I mean, will you go on a date with me?” 

You opened your mouth to say something, but no words came out. 

“We can do whatever you want!” Steve continued, seeming lost in his own rambles and slight fear that you’ll reject him. “I don’t mind, really! I just…I wanna hang out with you. I mean, I know we already hang out. But I wanna do more than hang out with you. I wanna be more than friends—if you want to. Shit, I didn’t even give you a chance to say—“

You didn’t give him a chance to continue before you grabbed his shirt, hands fisted in the material of the stupid sailor costume before you yanked him down to kiss him. 

Steve stood frozen for one, two, three seconds before he finally reacted. His hands dropped to your waist, pulling you closer and tilting his head to the side as he deepened the kiss. 

There was a voice in the back of your head reminding you that you were at work, that anyone could come and see you, that your manager could walk in and see you both. But you didn’t care. You really, really didn’t care. 

“I want that date, Harrington,” you murmured against his lips when you finally pulled away, when you finally needed to breathe. “I don’t care whatever we do either, as long as it’s with you.” 

His face brightened, in a smile so wide that you swore you had never seen him that happy before. “Yeah…yeah, brilliant. I’ll, uh, plan something and meet you after your shift, yeah?”

“You gonna keep the sailor suit on?”

He raised his brows. “You want me to?” 

“The shorts can stay,” you decided, a cheeky smile on your lips. “The shorts can definitely stay.” 

He snorted. “Noted, baby, noted.”

.

[thelov3lybookworm]

Plants Of Thorns Bear The Prettiest Flowers (Part 2)

Part 1

Summary: She has come far.

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A/n: so... if you all didnt know, ive had this idea in my mind for like, over a couple of months, and this is my baby. I just wanted this sister who hated everyone except her father, and so that is why i have the urge to show you all their relationship.

i love this series, it is my baby 🥹

(￣y▽￣)╭ Ohohoho.....

(also, Y/n is like, around two years in this)

anyways, enjoy!

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Orion's pov, 65 years ago.

Orion had just finished signing the paperwork for the renovations of a few houses in Velaris and leaned back in his chair when the sound of a child crying reached his ears. His brows furrowed when the cries only became louder, as if the child was coming closer to his office.

If Orion was being honest, he had not cared for his children for one day since they were born. There were nannies for that. But when the crying did not cease, he wondered what the hell the nanny was doing.

His wife was not present either, or she would have quieted the babe, Y/n, before she even started crying.

Y/n was... one of a kind. Orion knew she was different than his son the moment she was born.

He stood from his chair, hoping the nanny could quiet the girl before he got annoyed and stretched, popping his joints that had become stiff after having sat for so long.

Someone knocked on the doors to his office in the moonstone palace, and Orion sighed, walking up to it and yanking it open, ready to tell whoever it was to leave him alone-

The loud cries of the babe in the nanny's arms made Orion wince, and he glared at her.

"What?" He snapped at the young lower fae who he was sure was not Y/n's nanny.

"I beg your forgiveness my lord, but I am new here. Julia has been called away due to some family matters, and I don't know why, but the princess has been constantly crying for the past couple of hours."

He rose a brow at the female. Julia was the nanny that usually looked after Rhysand and Y/n, so it was a real shame that no one who knew how to take care of the kids was around.

Orion cursed his wife for leaving to visit Illyria without the babe.

"What do you expect me to do about it?"

"I just... my lord, I thought you would know how to calm her down."

The babe in the females arms screamed louder, her legs kicking. Her small hands fisting and pulling and pushing at the shoulder of the nanny.

Orion sighed, grabbing the little girl from the females arms. It felt a little awkward, considering it was the first time Orion was holding his daughter in his arms.

"Get lost. And no need to come back. Also, tell Julia to leave someone who actually knows how to do their work next time."

"But my lord-"

Orion did not give her the chance to complete the sentence, turning away and slamming the door shut with his leg.

He still held Y/n away from his body, his palms grasping at her ribs and holding her as if she was a dangerous object which could explode at any second.

She was.

Orion was just pondering what to do when he realised that Y/n had stopped screaming, soft sniffles the only sounds coming from her now. She stared at Orion with wide eyes, shiny with the tears still in them. She was panting a little, her chubby cheeks red.

Orion stared back. In the back of his mind, he wondered what she saw when she looked at him. Did she see a monster? A high lord? A fae male?

Her father?

Orion shook his head, trying to dislodge that thought and wondering what to do with Y/n. His arms were beginning to strain now, and he quickly looked around the room, his eyes landing on the couch near his desk.

Orion walked over, leaning down to set Y/n onto it.

But before she even touched the couch, her eyes widened, her mouth opening as a scream again ripped from her chest. Big, fat tears began running down her rounded cheeks, and Orion straightened.

She quieted instantly.

"What do you want me to do?" Orion questioned the little girl, who did nothing. Her eyes seemed to have been glued to his face.

Of course, he felt dumb for trying to converse to a babe.

Sighing, he wrapped his arms properly around her, just like the nanny had, and watched her reaction. She relaxed, settling into Orion's chest, looking around with curious eyes.

Orion huffed, deciding to try and set her down again. It was a mistake, as she... did not like that. She glared at her father with accusatory eyes, and amusement spread through him when she started blabbering to herself under her breath.

But Orion knew he could not stand with her in his arms all day. He still had more papers to sign and reports to read. Orion looked around once again, his eyes now lingering on the giant windows of the moonstone palace through which the distant mountains were visible, shining softly under the tender moonlight.

He turned so Y/n could look at it. "You want to look out of there?"

Her tiny fingers wrapped tightly around his shirt, and she turned her head away, staring at something on the wall behind the desk. Orion sighed.

Once he had settled down in his chair, he set her carefully on his lap, praying to the mother for his wife to return soon.

"Are you always this fussy?" He questioned, making her look up at him from where she was examining the wood of the desk. She babbled something at him, her index finger raised. Then she settled back against Orion's abdomen, her fingers twisting around her little dress. "Mother help me."

Orion returned to his paperwork, and it was almost an hour before he glanced down to the babe in his arms. She had not fussed at all since then, and it was a little suspicious.

There she was, sucking on her thumb, her other hand wrapped around the index finger of the hand that Orion had put around her to keep her from falling, her head resting in the crook of his elbow.

He could not stop the tiny smile that bloomed on his face at the sight.

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Orion's pov, now.

Orion took a sip of his drink, glancing up from the paperwork he was examining. His eyes found the hunched form of his eldest daughter as she worked on a few reports for him.

Feeling his eyes on her, she glanced up. "Father? Is there anything you need?"

"How long till the reports are finished?"

"Only a couple of pages left."

Orion hummed, gulping down the rest of his whiskey before speaking. "Where did your mother and sister go to again?"

Y/n blinked. "Oh, they told me they were going to visit Rhys in Illyria."

Orion nodded, reaching out to grab the whiskey decanter to pour himself another glass. Y/n returned to her work.

His wife had told him she was visiting Illyria. She did not tell him she was going to meet their son.

He would have to have a chat with her.

His eyes again wandered back to his daughter as he leaned back.

That first day when he had held her and then she had fallen asleep on him flashed through Orion's mind, and a small smirk quirked the side of his lips.

She had come far. So far.

From that innocent little babe who just wanted love to this- this tool who would do anything to please her father.

He was proud of her, he realised. Though he had never said that to her. He probably never would.

Or returned to his paperwork, storing that information in the back of his mind to be analysed later.

He had just picked up his quill when that first feeling of terror and pain came through the usually closed off side of his mate's side of the bond.

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Taglist: @mirandasidefics