#jude my baby

[moonriver0312]

"But instead he finds Harold wrapping him in his arms, and he tries to push him away, but Julia is holding him too, leaning over the carapace of his wheelchair, and he is trapped between them."

A Little Life, Part VI, Chapter 3, pg. 792-793, written by Hanya Yanagihara

[moonriver0312]

- Arnold Lobel, "The Story" from "Frog and Toad Are Friends"

― Fyodor Dostoevsky, White Nights

[starrynightsxo]

"Cardan looks taken aback. Or possibly I spoke so fast he's not even sure what I said. 'You need not say it out of pity,' he says finally, with great deliberateness. 'Or because I was under a curse. I have asked you to lie to me in the past, in this very room, but I would beg you not to lie now.'"

- Cardan Greenbriar, The Queen of Nothing

[bukayo-saka]

this should be illegal actually

[monjude]

💔💔💔💔

[shizzlesisntevenaword]

no cause it just occurred to me that even when cardan thought hoped jude might like him back, might feel even a morsel of what he felt for her, he still didn’t think she would ever choose him. Over her ambitions, her other loves, anything. Even if she desired him - and he’d known himself how desires could be so frustrating and, well, undesirable - surely she desired other things more.

And it’s just so in-character of him i want to cry. of course he thinks he’s expendable. no one had ever loved him unconditionally. his parents barely spared him a single glance, his siblings only took notice when it aligned with their interests (and often clashed with his), his only serious lover left him for a passing fancy, and then he was forced into a situation in which people had to swear to love him. Of course he didn’t trust jude’s affections. Of course he thought she probably just found something better to occupy herself with. Of course he didn’t believe he could actually mean something to her.

[trentione]

funny how different their emotions are on the pic

[xcruelprincessx]

Cardan's childhood would never fail to make me cry my eyes out 😭

[your-hologram]

Cardan's letters to Jude will always be one of my favourites pieces of literature. The yearning, the tension, the desperation COME BE ANGRY AT A NEARER DISTANCE??? IN MY MOST WRETCHED HOURS I BELIEVE YOU WILL NEVER COME BACK??? They are THE fantasy couple

[rebouks]

Robin’s first day at school after the winter holidays was just like any other; painful, overwhelming, and slightly boring.

There was a myriad of reasons he didn’t want to be here, but Oscar and Courtney were adamant it was somehow important-.. and mandatory, so Robin didn’t have a choice. They’d become immune to his avoidant shenanigans over time too, no longer were they so easily fooled, even when he’d made himself sick on purpose.

 He’d given up eventually, the worried glances they’d exchange each morning proving to be as tiresome as school itself. Pretending to be fine was better than being shipped off to some snooty shrink again; one who wouldn’t believe him anyway, who couldn’t even imagine the nonsense he was subject to on a daily basis, despite their fancy certificates hanging behind their fancy desks.

Robin was completely mute whilst at school, save for the odd whisper to Jude or sometimes Jacob, if necessary-.. but never Juniper. She was too condescending with her concern and far too obvious. He wanted to fade into obscurity, not be thrust into the limelight by an overzealous cousin trying to do the “right” thing by speaking on his behalf.

He’d resorted to telling her off in the end, her lip quivering as he explained how she was only making things worse. Robin wasn’t sure what had surprised her more, the fact that he was so vehemently opposed to being defended, or that he’d spoken to her at all. She’d acquiesced though, so that was something.

The only person he spoke to properly was nurse Wiles, or Silvia, as she insisted at this point. The cacophony of voices and Robin’s general disdain for being trapped in this hellish building for six hours a day usually resulted in a pounding headache and a disgusting, dissolvable aspirin; he was her most frequent visitor, discounting the child that was practically allergic to everything in sight.

He kept to himself as much as he could, scrawling out enough work to avoid being pulled up and listening to music wherever he could. He had a solid collection of tiny I-pod shuffles and headphones by now, enough to rotate between classes as they inevitably wound up being seized by exasperated adults.

His favourite deception were the decoy headphones, their obnoxious size drawing immediate attention and victorious confiscation. He’d huff and hand them over in defeat, only to thread a smaller more inconspicuous pair beneath his shirt and tuck them under his thick, curly mop as soon as their backs were turned; they were none the wiser, content with their perceived punishment. Robin thought teachers were supposed to be smart…

Though Robin’s long tangle of curls were useful in some ways, they also drew their fair share of unwanted attention. As if being provoked, shoved, tripped, and called “Mutey” wasn’t enough, he was often referred to as a girl, particularly by the other boys.

He wasn’t entirely sure why it was so hilarious, or why it never got old, especially since it was painfully obvious by now that he didn’t give a shit. He was used to being the proverbial punching bag. Being as different as he was obviously made him an easy target, almost as though he had a bullseye permanently woven into the fabric of his jumper.

He’d surmised that they had their reasons for picking on him though; some had parents who were just as cruel, some had none at all, some were desperate to fit in, and some were just too stupid to know any better.

Either way, Robin had decided a long time ago that he’d rather they mithered him with their so-called bullying than risk upsetting some poor schmuck who wasn’t privy to the concealed insecurities that diluted their venomous words and wicked laughter.

Most of Robin’s classes were raucous, yet dull. He could barely hear himself think over the combined clamour of diligent workers and class clowns, and since he could usually glean the answers to any questions from his classmates or the teachers themselves, he never saw much point in trying.

He knew it probably wasn’t great to miss out on the “working out” part of the work, but it was too hard to concentrate even if he’d wanted to. Oscar always helped him with his homework after dinner anyway, so a least he wasn’t going to end up completely lacking in the brain cell department-.. hopefully.

Swimming lessons and PE weren’t so bad, but art was his favourite class of all. Most people got too caught up in what they were doing to daydream noisily or obsess over potentially incorrect answers. There was no right or wrong when it came to creation, and Robin was actually good at drawing, painting, or whatever else his sticky fingers fancied throwing together.

His art teacher even let him wear his headphones during class too, so he’d get to sit at the back of the room in a blissful cocoon of loud music and pencil shavings, wishing every period were this laid back.

All in all, school was utter shite; and at the end of each terrible day when the bell finally rang, Robin was beyond glad that it was over.

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[naughtnixnothing]

actual canon events to show how dense jude is when it comes to cardan

cardan: you seem to have cut yourself jude: maybe he was looking at the tower waiting for me to jump to my death

cardan when valerian was stabbed: it was no more than u deserved jude: valerian must have misunderstood. cardan must have been mocking him for letting me under his guard.

cardan: you’re mortal. it’s not safe for you here. especially if you go around stabbing everyone. jude: i try to remind myself he must be in shock and grieving, and that might make him behave strangely.

[melissa-leaf]

Carlos, you're making it very hard to... not to.

[starrynightsxo]

people that are obsessed with jurdan are so weird and need to get a life 🙄🙄 (it's me. I'm people.)

[bukayo-saka]

dorks and losers and cuties and and and and

[dear-mrs-otome]

It's me screeching about Jude's epilogue again guys but if this level of cuteness, the fun bickering, the back and forth teasing, the playful horsing around all wrapped up in 'i just wanna hold your hand and idk why' carries over into the route I will be absolutely obliterated. That is all.

[itsfootballbih]

Trent and Joey have had enough.