#judas deserves better

[f0rgetf0rgetting]

day two: royalty / wedding

@hetalia-rarepairweek

the kingdom’s favorite baker and the princess :3

[cowboybrunch]

oc kiss picrew!

thank you for the tag @mrbexwrites! <3

let's make em smooch!!

picrew here

theodore/elias vs theodore/rosalie. for character growth purposes

leaving this tag open!!! if you see this, consider yourself tagged! lemme see those kisses!

[butchdykekondraki]

got called the worlds worst autistic guy today because i showed a friend a shitpost

[fated-normal-767]

when I’m trying to sleep and then the realisations.

[world0fmadness]

LOVELY VOICE

lando norris x voice actress! reader

faceclaim: assorted

୨୧ i know pride month has just passed but let me be! the timing for all of the games is completely wrong but once again, it’s fanfic, just let me be… i’m really just sticking with this short and sweet formula, i like short and sweet things, i no longer care about trying to stretch them to be as long as possible because longer ≠ better

reading music recommendations: in the flood by ariana gillis - blood upon the snow by hozier

ynln: had an incredible time at the game awards last night! met so many amazing people, the event had a great energy and oh! i won best voice actress for my role as aloy in horizon forbidden west! holy shit! thank you so much to everyone who voted for me and congratulations to the other winners ♥️

landonorris ✔️: there goes my girl!

❤️ liked by ynln

landonorris✔️: so so so proud of you love, your awards outshine mine ❤️

❤️ liked by ynln

> ynln ✔️: thank you lan but don’t make me laugh <3

> landonorris ✔️: what? i’m telling the truth

ynlovevoice: DESERVED! your voice acting in this game in particular was insane

lewishamilton ✔️: congratulations yn! was watching the event, your speech was great ❤️ here’s to many more wins, i’m sure! 🥂

❤️ liked by ynln and landonorris

> ynln ✔️: thanks lewis! means a lot coming from you ♥️

loveuyn: oh my god her and lando looked so good 🫣

> lanyn: hottest couple there and they knew it

oldf1lvr: when the camera panned over to her after she won, you could literally see lando cheering SO loud right in her ear 😭

> lanyn: i hope her hearing is okay lmao

> seyloy1: he was hyping his girl UP 💔 he had a facebook mom moment with his phone too, taking pictures of her on stage when there was literally like 10 professional cameras doing it for him 😭

oscarpiastri ✔️: you both looked terrible, truly… congratulations on the win yn!

> landonorris ✔️: i know you’re jealous oscar but there’s no reason to lie, is there?

❤️ liked by ynln

> ynln ✔️: because i’m feeling nice tonight, i’ll just ignore that first part! thank you oscar…

ynln: behind the scenes of my upcoming game, judas! i’ll be voicing a very different character to my usuals so stay tuned 👀

loveuyn: ANOTHER YN VOICED CHARACTER? she is spoiling us this year guys omg…

landonorris ✔️: can’t wait for this one, love ❤️

❤️ liked by ynln

> lanyn: he’s so supportive of her i can’t 😭

> iluvf1: supportive? he’s downright obsessed with her! he literally has every figurine ever released of all of her characters lmao

> ynln ✔️: can’t wait for you to play this one ♥️

> landonorris ✔️: …dotface 🙃

> ynln ✔️: i thought we were over this…

> landonorris ✔️: i can hear you laughing in the kitchen

❤️ liked by ynln

> oscarpiastri ✔️: why are you commenting back and forth when you’re in the same house? christ…

> landonorris ✔️: leave us alone oscar, we’re in looove, something you will unfortunately never experience

> oscarpiastri ✔️: whatever…

> landonorris ✔️: ohhh someone is salty 💔

> ynln ✔️: lando enough omg 😭

seyloy1: are we getting yn as a major antagonist for once? i’d dieee 🫣

> loveuyn: no but really… she’d make such a hot major antagonist… she already went crazy as bela in resident evil village and that was a minor antagonist…

ynlovevoice: she’s so cute oh my god…

> loveuyn: there really is two sides to yn fans, the people that find her cute and the people that find her hot… i’m the latter 🫢

landonorris: my girl has been working so hard for her next game! took her karting as a reward ❤️ check out the trailer here, i’ll be playing it on stream so tune in then!

ynln ✔️: ah yes, MY reward!

> landonorris ✔️: you loved it!

❤️ liked by ynln

> ynln ✔️: i guess i did, thank you lan ♥️

❤️ liked by landonorris

> oscarpiastri ✔️: you guess? you were bouncing off the walls begging to keep going even as the place was closing…

> ynln ✔️: this is why you’re always a third wheel and it’s never a double date, no one likes a sourpuss

❤️ liked by landonorris

lanyn: they’re so so cute together… when will it be my turn? 💔

oscarpiastri ✔️: never coming karting with you two again, she nearly took my leg off and you egged her on

> landonorris ✔️: sounds like you should’ve kept your legs inside the kart

> ynln ✔️: yeah, sounds like another you problem

> oscarpiastri ✔️: it’s always a me problem…

❤️ liked by landonorris and ynln

ynln: happy pride month! as a member of the lgbt+ community, the importance of genuine representation in media is something i hold dearly to my heart ♥️ here’s to all of the wonderful wlw characters i’ve voiced 🏳️‍🌈

oscarpiastri ✔️: happy pride, loser

> ynln ✔️: loser? well at least that means i’m still miles cooler than you oscar ❤️

> landonorris ✔️: ohhh burn, oscar, go cool off in a ice bath

> oscarpiastri ✔️: wasn’t even a good “burn”… i hate it here

loveuyn: i wouldn’t be surprised if they named their future child clementine, given how much that character means yn 🥹

> iluvf1: i’m not a gamer, can you explain why?

> loveuyn: it was the first character yn ever voiced at age 9, then 11, then 13 and finally 16! she basically grew alongside her character and has expressed how much she loves her

landonorris ✔️: happy pride, love! SEYLOY FOR LIFE ❤️

❤️ liked by ynln

> lanyn: lando being a #1 seyloy shipper will always be the absolute cutest thing to me 😭

> landonorizz: right? instead of being a weird ass bf that gets stupidly jealous, he ships her characters with other characters

lewishamilton ✔️: happy pride month yn, sending lots of love your way ❤️

❤️ liked by ynln and landonorris

> ynln ✔️: love from lewis, what everyone wants but only some can have, thanks lew!

> ynln ✔️: oh and happy pride right back at you

> oldf1lvr: omg 😭

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ୨୧ ˚ NEW ADDED BONUS ˚ ୨୧ ⋆｡˚ ⋆

lando has some trauma

[linkspooky]

It's not just the fact that Hori decided to kill a lifelong victim of grooming.

My two favorite comic book storylines are New Teen Titans Judas Contract, and Uncanny X Men's Inferno. They both feature villains / victims (Madelyne Pryor and Terra) that die at the end of the story. Terra is specifically fifteen years old and a victim of sexual grooming.

However, both of these stories are clearly written as tragedies. It's clear from the start that these are tragic stories not only meant to get us to sympathize with the victim turned villain but also the failure to save a clear victim is meant to make the heroes look bad.

Let me just list off all the shit Scott Summers put Madelyne Pryor through.

Fell in love with her only because she looked like his ex girlfriend Jean. Even though Madelyne specifically stated before getting into the relationship she didn't want to be jeans replacement.

Married her, and refuses to take time off to the point where he misses the birth of his own son leaving Madelyne at home to deliver her baby on the floor.

When he finally retires and they move to Alaska together he gets a phone call that Jean is still alive and abandons his wife and daughter for weeks to go back to his high school girlfriend.

Madelyne is attacked by a group of supervillains while Scott is away and just barely manages to escape but loses her baby.

She joins up with the x men to look for scott only to find out in the time she's been gone Scott had already gotten back together with Jean.

She is tricked into making a deal with a demon who wants to overthrow ilyanas control of limbo (she thought it was just a dream and the contract to sell her soul didn't matter).

She used her newfound power in order to find her child Nathan only to find Mr sinister there who reveals that Madelyne was a clone of Jean Grey, her entire life was a lie, she was made to breed with cyclops and produce a baby for sinister.

At which point madelyne snaps and decides to burn everything to the ground and kill her own child.

It's clearly telegraphed as a tragedy. The reference to Medea is pretty obvious. Madelyne had no chance from the beginning, however even in this tragedy Scott specifically forbid any of the heroes from using lethal force on her. Jean and Maddie mindmeld at one point and Jean literally begs for Maddie not to die and that she should live on to raise her son. They even throw a funeral for Maddie afterwards because be no one else would ever mourn her.

Not only do the heroes look bad, especially Scott for not being able to save her, they do at least try to talk with her, use non lethal force, and beg her at one point to let them help her.

On the other hand not only did Deku never engage Shigaraki Tomura once, just the vision of a crying child in front of him. Deku doesn't look like a failure for failing in his goal to save him he's still the greatest hero, they don't hold a funeral for Shigaraki, Dekus last words are about how he doesn't forgive Shigaraki (and therefore he deserves to die i guess because deku is the punisher now). Deku doesn't even give Shigaraki the respect of calling him by his preferred name he just calls him Tenko who was the only person Deku cared about saving.

It's not just about a victim dying it's about how the story promised us over and over again the kids were going to save the villains in the final act, that this was going to be an optimistic story about the new generation being better than the old.

Only for Horikoshi to deliver something entirely different. If I'm watching punisher I know what I'm getting into. I'm here to watch Frank Castle shoot mobsters. If Batman picks up a Tommy Gun and starts shooting mobsters that's bad because Batman wouldn't do that shit.

There's writing a story that's tonally inconsistent, or changing your plans for how a character is going to end late in the game and then there's this.

Which is basically narrative gaslighting. Where one thing is clearly happening onscreen but the narrative needs you to believe those gaslights clearly are not dimming.

I know Deku made no effort to save Shigaraki when he explicitly said they OFA is a power for saving but not killing, but don't worry Deku became the greatest hero anyway, and this is still a happy optimistic ending!

Horikoshi isn't looking for treasure in the house. Those gaslights aren't dimming. You're clearly being hysterical, woman.

[paleghostinthecorner02]

Because Gwen is a teenager who was betrayed by her father and taken in by adults who constantly filled her head with the idea that people, including her dad, had to die for millions to be saved. Because despite said adults knowing the bad situation she was in chose to treat her completely like an agent, a warrior, a soldier instead of a child that needed love and compassion. Because despite living in fear of Miguel sending her back home, she still chose to disobey him to see Miles when she had the chance because she loves him that much. Because she was in a lose/lose situation where telling Miles about his dad needing to die would inflict a pain she was experiencing and didn't want him to bear, but not telling him would run the risk of him finding out from someone else and making her look like she was being malicious. Because she was used as a scapegoat by Miguel when he was the main reason Miles was able to escape, and punished by him for it. Because she recognized the hurt she caused and took accountability, unlike any of the adults in her life including PETER B. PARKER. Because she is actively trying to make up for the mistakes she made while she was still under Miguel's influence.

None of you media illiterate dweebs who treat her like she's Judas Iscariot and the Whore of Babylon combined because she made some very understandable mistakes should continue to watch these children's movies because I'm afraid the writing for Gwen is too complicated for you to grasp. Gwen has actual, meaningful flaws than cause actual, meaningful conflict and lead her her having actual, meaningful character development. Even more pertinent, her failings aren't a result of any kind of malice, but rather a desire to not see the people she loves hurt, an understandable character trait that stems from the trauma of her accidentally killing someone close to her OH MY GOD DO YOU NOT WATCH THESE MOVIES?

Honestly Peter B is way more infuriating in this movie since he's an adult who doesn't view Miguel as an authority figure (if their comic relationship is the same in this movie then they're friends and Miguel has a lot of respect for Peter) and has nothing for Miguel to hold over his head like Gwen did. He should have known better, he should have been the one most defending Miles, he should have defended Gwen when Miguel was blaming her for something Peter knew wasn't her fault. He was RIGHT THERE next to Gwen on the train and saw Miguel fail to subdue Miles (despite the fact that he could have, you know, injected him with a powerful, non lethal paralytic that would have made it exceedingly easy to take Miles into custody and instead decided to monologue like a dipshit). Give me a reason other than abject misogyny why you think Gwen deserves to be hated in a way Peter doesn't, I dare you.

Rant over. TL:DR, Gwen doesn't deserve the hate she gets from idiots in the fandom who can't see past "Muh poor Miles got his feelings hurt."

[allwormdiet]

Parasite 10.1

Welcome back Taylor, missed you, glad we come back to immediately find you waist-deep in moral sketchiness.

Never let it be said that Wildbow doesn't know how to establish a scene. You can feel the desperation and despair in the mounting heat and filth of the city streets, and of course Taylor's power means she can clock that better than a lot of other parahumans.

There's something very sad about the fact that Angelica is the last dog standing from the original three, and that even then she's still fucked up from the damage Fog did.

And of course Rachel probably puts a lot of blame for that on having saved Taylor's scrawny ass at the cost of Brutus and Judas, plus the other six dogs. Even if she would've made that attack on Leviathan without Taylor there, I'd be shocked if that association wasn't there.

I swear to god the official word for this liveblog is "bleak," but I'll stop calling things bleak when they stop being bleak, how about that.

Siblings!

Yeah, what I said earlier.

The fact that Shadow Stalker actually seems to respect the Undersiders more for being hardcore as fuck is. A little funny. Like okay, I guess her worldview has some consistency.

Also yeah, gotta be weird to realize you were going to school with a murderous vigilante. Can only imagine how Winslow students would feel about realizing Taylor was goddamn Skitter.

I'll admit it, this feels bad. Sophia deserves comeuppance for being a violent murderer but what she's about to be put through is beyond the pale. Genuinely one of the most fucked up things that has happened in this story so far.

But we'll get to that later.

Siblings!

Tattletale managing to be the peacemaker for once, which is a little funny.

Grue being exasperated by Imp is funny, but then it gets sad again when he looks over at Skitter because. Yeah. They'd actually gotten along okay for the most part, until the kiss and the Nazi attack, and then Armsmaster tried to ruin the relationship further and mostly succeeded.

The fascinating thing with Taylor is that she's also pretty uncomfortable with the moral lines she's crossing and how fast she's crossing them, it's just that she's really good at not letting that discomfort slow her down.

Quick overview of the Undersiders' current states, courtesy of Taylor's goddamn panopticon abilities. Also: puppies!

This was scary as fuck on the first read-through, and this time it's more... I think Alec has a bad sense of humor. Again, raised in a cult, so it's hard to know what's appropriate for comedy and what's, uhh, using your bodyjacking victim to falsely threaten the life of a teammate, but still.

Freaky as hell.

Current Thoughts

Regent's "secret weapon" turns out to be the scariest goddamn power of any Undersider, so that's. Something.

The group's tension with Taylor is palpable, even if it's just Brian and Rachel who seem to be feeling it with any heat. I dunno if Alec is one to forgive things easily (doubtful) or if he's enough of a pragmatist to let Taylor back in with relatively little complaint. Maybe it's a mild thing compared to the trust and loyalty he's used to with Heartbreaker's kids. I'll be curious to see whether Brian or Rachel relent first, because I think it could go either way.

Hoo boy. This arc. Thiiiis arc. I can't believe I'm feeling bad for Sophia goddamn Hess, but we've found a way to do it.

[smilingformoney]

Apart from HP, what are your fav Rickman movies or characters? <3

Here is my top 10 ❤️ the order changes constantly but the top two are consistent

10. PL O’Hara (An Awfully Big Adventure)

Horny boy. Just wanted to get laid. He didn’t know she was his daughter…

09. Colonel Brandon (Sense & Sensibility)

Adorable sweetheart. Definitely Sinclair’s ancestor. Deserved better than being Marienne’s second choice 😠

08. George of Nottingham (Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves)

Another horny boy. FERAL. Book Snape in another universe.

07. Hans Gruber (Die Hard)

Did nothing wrong. Just wanted to go on holiday. Beard. Most iconic Alan character other than Snape.

06. David Friedman (Judas Kiss)

HIGHLY underappreciated Alan character. Daddy. Self-proclaimed switch. Divorced single dad mmmmm yummy

05. Eli Michaelson (Nobel Son)

Asshole. Horny. Probably the horniest Alan character. Ego the size of his dick. I could fix him etc

04. Lionel Shabandar (Gambit)

DADDY!!!

03. Judge Turpin (Sweeney Todd)

Definitely Alan’s sexiest character. Also very horny. Also Daddy. There is a theme here.

02. Sinclair Bryant (Close My Eyes)

Perfect golden sunshine boy. Golden retriever. Completely unlike any other Alan character, except maybe Brandon. Also like Brandon, deserved a better wife. Has ADHD. I love him your Honour.

01. Severus Snape (Harry Potter)

The GOAT. I will defend him with my life. My reason for living. The love of my life. Just needs a cuddle.

[thedevillionaire]

If I may be greedy, 3, 4, 6, 9 (yes I am 👀ing Cerb) & 11 for Cerberus and Kia?

Greedy is totally fine! This is a nice bunch, too. :D

3) What song describes your OC?

Cerberus has two main "theme songs": Dance With Fire by Operus, and The Cage by Attrition. He's had more than one Underworldian song written about him, too, though I don't have actual music for those, just lyrics, due to me being a craptacular singer. Only one of these is currently anywhere online: Green Fire

For Kia, Love An Adventure by Pseudo Echo.

4) What song describes your OC and their partner/love interest?

As a couple, they have a few, actually, but the main two are A Touch of Evil by Judas Priest, and Body and Soul by the Sisters of Mercy.❤️

6) If your OC is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?

Cut time!

This is really tricky for Cerberus, actually, and the only thing I'm confident of is that he'd be his own boss. Possibly the world's hottest occult bookstore owner/operator lol. But I can also see him not working a "regular" sort of job at all, and being the kind of super-successful investor that can live off passive income and do whatever he wants in his (significant) spare time, and that may not be a whole lot different - although with a "mortal plane" skew, of course - to what he does now.

lol maybe he'd be a cult leader. 🤣 He was mortally pyrokinetic, after all. Kia had all sorts of odd jobs when she was mortal. She's been a masseuse, a supermarket checkout chick, a fashion consultant/assistant, a pole dancer, a telemarketer, a typist... She'd probably settle into something customer-service focused that didn't require a degree/formal qualifications.

9) How does your OC handle their physical health? Do they take care of themselves?

Cerberus is excellent at this...until he gets sick. 😂😂 He's very physically fit, in great shape, looks after his physical needs overall extremely well. Eats well, exercises, is very hygiene-conscious. He's kind of a workaholic and should almost certainly take more time off for just relaxation, but that's about as lax as he gets about his general physical wellbeing. And he doesn't often get sick at all. BUT. Partly due to infrequency/unfamiliarity with getting ill, partly just that he's always so resentful that it even happened, how fucking dare this happen, and he's just...patently terrible at accepting his fate about it. 😅 So when the Healing meds don't instantly and completely cure things, he's prone to completely disregarding everything he's told to do, because it's already proved pointless again, as usual, so why not try [insert probably bad idea here] instead. Kia's made things way better for him in this regard, and he's the best of all possible selves with her around, but still. He's a notoriously dreadful patient and he deserves every bit of that reputation lol.

Kia is also very fit, although less hygiene-conscious, and also far more likely to socialise in large groups, etc. She gets sick a regular amount, and is much better at looking after herself when it happens, too. She gets a bit cranky about it at times, sure, but she's pretty accepting of it as just a part of life, and just...deals. Not to say she doesn't enjoy a good spoiling when she's unwell. Cerberus, for all his failings at being a good patient, actually makes a wonderful caretaker.

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

Cerberus was supposed to be a one-off serve-a-purpose temporary creation and problem-solver. I made too many OCs in early Underworld times and thought if I just had...like half of them killed off in one fell swoop, sort of thing, I could get back on track, haha. Anyway, so, he was meant to just come in, do damage, fuck off.

He...did not do that. 🤷‍♀️ I mean, he absolutely did do what I, um, brought him in for. He just also decided to stick around and take over the place afterwards.

IDEK. I'm just a dumb scribe lol. And I genuinely do not remember what/who inspired Kia, but she was also an unexpected "success story". She was an Incept, brought into the Underworld's Vampirism Caste by another OC pretty much nobody's met here - Vesuvius - and just...went about being Kia. And here we are. 🫠

[armoredsuperheavy]

MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: An Insufferably Queer Film Review

I rewatched MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (1987) for the first time since it came out last night and WOW I have some thots about this thing. We enjoyed roasting the living shit out of it but there's a few gold nuggets in there despite the brutal budget cuts that impacted the plot and what not.

Contains plenty of spoilers.

God bless Wardrobe

OK so … the film doesn't bother to set up any real motivations for the characters, and He-Man (an incredible looking Dolph Lundgren rrrowrrrr) has almost no dialogue which is such a fucking waste. But this complete lack of narrative framework means we can apply OUR OWN explanations to events.

From the very beginning Skeletor has this obsession with He-Man, which will simmer and then culminate in a final showdown. But before we get to that hot mess, we have to wade through the middle of the film.

He gets as much screen time as He-Man.

Meet the utterly repulsive dwarf scientist Gwildor played by Billy Barty, a rinse-and-repeat of his performance as an utterly repulsive magic troll in Legend (1986). This dwarf is the film's Jar Jar. His face is like a deep dish pizza after an acid attack. His real mouth is visible behind the immobile thick prosthetics and it makes for some truly disturbing close-up dialogue shots. Please, pan away from Pizza the Hutt and give us another shot of Lundgren's pecs please I am begging you, DP

We find ourselves in Gwildor's hobbit hole, and he's a magical inventor. So he has this cylindrical object, it's not clear whether it's a weapon or a teleporter but I'm calling it the Butt-Reamer 9000. Inexplicably, there are two of these things and Skeletor has the other one, and wants to collect both of them. So Skeletor has an excuse to go hunting He-Man as he's hunting his missing McGuffin, er I mean sex toy.

Features rotating ticklers, a big improvement over the Butt Reamer 8000.

The thing about the Butt-Reamer 9000 is its magical power to make even this promising setup devolve into a grind as it whisks the Eternians into the magical, enchanting world of a 1987 New Jersey parking lot. WHO WROTE THIS?

The entire middle of the movie is pretty much hot garbage and involves police detectives, arson, vandalism, high school prom, and other dumb bullshit. Aside from the distractingly naked He-Man, the good guys are an utter bore and include some Eternians, some regular Earth humans and their quotidian concerns which really brings down the fun of the movie. (No, baby Courtney Cox, I don't care about your imminent breakup with your mediocre boyfriend!)

The film owes a second mortgage to Star Wars and steals a lot of ideas from it, from bad guys in shiny black stormtrooper helmets, to heroes shooting blue lasers, baddies shooting red.

Let's turn from this depressing state of affairs and focus back on our cherished villain blorbos.

(L-R: Karg, Evil-Lyn our goddess, and Blade.)

Evil-Lyn is beautiful, evil, a cold bitch queen. Gurl you can do so much better than sticking with this loser Skeletor.

Dump! Him! He's gay anyway!

Skeletor is a shit lazy boss of Greyskull and makes Evil-Lyn run the goddamn place in general. He literally shoots the messenger at one point. Great for morale, there, Skel buddy.

Look closer. Fierce!

There's a number of budget rate henchmen on the job, including Karg, who used a whole can of aqua net this morning and is running around in a white fur capelet with a massive bouffant. He is just doing his best okay, really it's hard to look fabulous around these other bitches.

Blade definitely deserved more screen time

Also, Blade, who had a slutty costume of silvery scale maille or something, and was a bit like a sci-fi bondage Riff Raff / space Judas Priest. Best side character costume.

So, there we have it, the queer coded villain roster of the film.

This homemade collage is for sure taped inside Skeletor's locker at school

Note the gigantic brown eye.

Finally, thank Satan, we return to Castle Greyskull, though it's more like beige-and-brown-skull. But aside from the questionable use of faux marble finishes, this is a quality villain lair with hard points installed directly in the floor of the living room, convenient death pits, and an excellent throne setup that I'm pretty sure they recycled for The Fifth Element.

He-Man is captured alive and brought before Skeletor. Blade does the honors with a 15 foot glowing red bullwhip to He-Man's naked and oiled back, much to the delight of dyed-in-the-wool sadist Evil-Lyn.

Movie is getting good now. Was the side quest to Jersey really necessary?

Skeletor, though, watches this action from the throne and has a lot of interesting responses. We had to conclude that Skeletor is a big old bottom but won't admit it. As a dom he is utterly ineffective. He's trying to make He-man kneel and all this shit but He-Man is not submissive at all. Skeletor is … lol. He really just wants to smell He-Man's dick.

The depths (heh) of his bottom nature will become apparent shortly. But first, a costume change.

Skeletor's glow up --- i'm every woman.

Honey we know you're just trying to impress He-man.

Werk tho.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Hole

The gigantic sky-sphincter directly behind the throne has slid open wide… "Begin! The Goatse Ritual! Join me, He-Man, as I become LORD OF THE GAPE" But He-Man's phallic symbol shines bright in defiance. In the end, Skeletor is vanquished symbolically by his own nature and instead of his hole swallowing He-Man, a gaping hole swallows Skeletor instead.

They don't really explain what happened to Evil-Lyn after He-Man's inevitable victory in final man to man combat but she was too smart to get caught sleeping in there and must have survived. What a hot evil competent BABE. After the events of the film end, I vote that Evil-Lyn seduces Teela (the good guy solder lady) and has a hot toxic lesbian affair with her.

Evil-Lyn serves cunt in hell 4 evar

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Want some more?

Nice fanart

Another breakdown on Buzzfeed if you enjoyed mine this is even more gay headcanon

The movie is free on Tubi if you want to subject yourself to it.

ArmoredSuperHeavy, 19 Aug 2023

[bogwitchlesbian]

Steddie exes but Eddie broke up with Steve

They dated throughout middle school until sophomore year of high school. They were childhood sweethearts and Eddie and Wayne were the only real people to show Steve love and kindness

Steve is all in, as we know, and is looking forward to the rest of his life with Eddie. He’s the only person that’s stuck around this long, and they’re in love. Even Wayne says he thinks they’ll beat the odds for teen romance. What could possibly happen to break them up?

Steve’s dad, that’s what. He comes home one day while Eddie is on the floor rambling about something to do with the new Judas Priest album, while Steve watches fondly from the couch. Nothing even remotely incriminating is going on. They’re 5 feet apart, and (for once) wearing their own clothes.

Steve’s dad flies off the handle anyway. Says some awful things about eddies family, his dad, the trailer park, and what does Steve think he’s doing, risking the family’s reputation hanging around with “a boy like that”

Naturally Eddie is swiftly kicked out, and Steve’s receives a backhand when he tries to defend Eddie.

Steve’s dad leaves again two days later, and Steve races down to eddies place to apologise, but Wayne answers the door instead.

Looks at Steve with sad eyes, inspects the bruise on Steve’s cheek, and hands him a bag of frozen peas and a letter. Tells him that Steve can always come to him if he needs anything, no matter what.

Steve reads the letter once he has trudged miserably back home. “I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore” is as far as he gets before he feels his heart shatter.

The letter is full of rubbish as far as Steve is concerned. He gets being discrete until he’s 18 and can legally leave his parents home, but Eddie is talking nonsense.

“You deserve better” and “I can’t give you a family like you want”. Lots of on-the-surface self sacrificing words that Steve realises a few years later, after the hurt has settled, were eddies way of protecting himself from what he saw as the inevitable, which was Steve leaving him for some upper class girl with a perfect perm and perfect lipstick.

after he had cried himself to sleep and took the long route to school to avoid going past forest hills, Steve decided in all his teenage wisdom to do what Eddie asked him to do, and forget he ever existed.

He pretended to like girls, and tommy hagan’s cruel laughter. Pretended to like Nancy wheeler, and still somehow got his heart broken, because damn, even if he wasn’t in love with her the way he wished he could be, hearing that someone considered the idea of being loved by you was “bullshit” fucking stings.

After Nancy he stops trying to pretend. Leans into his long suppressed instincts to protect people, and shows Dustin how to take care of his curls in a way he learned from Eddie when he had to dress up to go to a cousins wedding in Indianapolis when they were 14.

The stuff with the upside down honestly becomes routine faster than he’d like to admit. He falls into the swing of the bat with an easy grace that comes from years of suppressed protective instinct.

When Dustin starts attending hellfire is when Steve’s carefully constructed “new normal” starts to fall apart. His constant requests for Dustin to shut up about eddie Munson lead Dustin to the conclusion that Steve is still clinging to his old King Steve prejudices, because why on earth would he think Steve was in love with him? Which he was, by the way. Steve didn’t think he could ever truly stop at this point.

When Chrissy Cunningham dies, Steve’s world turns upside down (no pun intended). It’s why he throws himself so easily into looking for Eddie, despite his half hearted protests. Because what the fuck had even happened?? Eddie cried when Steve used to kill spiders, he could not stomach such a vicious murder.

Eddie throwing him up against the wall when they find him doesn’t scare Steve (it does something though), but the fear in his eyes does. It stings a little that he doesn’t trust him, but it’s been years, and Steve was kind of a jackass for most of them so he doesn’t altogether blame Eddie.

He does feel like running was a little dumb, but he knows all too well how much Eddie likes to run from things. He hates leaving Eddie in Rick’s boatshed, but he knows that even if he could stay without arousing suspicion, eddie would never let him.

The whole lovers lake debacle deeply confuses Steve. First Eddie almost dislocates his eyeballs staring at Steve’s bare chest, and looks like he’s going to pass out when Steve throws his shirt at him, jumps in after him, gives Steve his BATTLE VEST (the one Steve himself helped make, and fully knows the meaning of) then tries to convince Steve to get Nancy back????

Safe to say Steve’s brain feels a little scrambled.

He blames his whole ‘nuggets’ speech in the rv on that. Because honestly what the hell was he even thinking??

Steve doesn’t think about what happens next.

Doesn’t think about desperately wanting to kiss Eddie when he stops him outside the trailer.

Doesn’t think about the fact that he wasted might be his last moments with him to tell Eddie that he never stopped loving him. That he wants to forget the last few years and just pick back up where they left off.

Doesn’t think about how worried he is leaving him and Dustin there alone.

Doesn’t think about how fucking cool Eddie is now, when he hears master of puppets blasting across the upside down.

Doesn’t think about how much he regrets not saying anything when the vines have him in the creel house.

Definitely doesn’t think about hearing dustins heartbroken wails as they reach the trailer park.

Doesn’t think about the love of his life, lying broken in a pool of his own blood in a nightmare dimension.

Doesn’t think about touching him for the first time in years to lift his dead body and heft it through the portal.

He goes home. And in the shower, he thinks far too much. Stays sat on the shower floor so long that the water would have ran cold, were he in eddies cozy trailer rather than his big tomb of a house with its endless supply of hot water.

He thinks, and thinks, and thinks. Thinks until robin finds him, waterlogged yet dehydrated from crying in his en suite. She has no idea what’s going on, but lifts him out and gets him dry and dressed.

He finally explains everything to her. She cries but he’s out of tears.

Steve doesn’t think he’ll cry again for a long, long time.

[frizzle-mcshizzle]

Hey I just want to say thank you for your kind words on Katie’s blog you and her are proof to me of how kind and forgiving good Christians are -Judas

oh of course!! honestly my intention is to show that Christians are actually capable of being loving people (“ain’t no hate like Christian love” exists for a reason and i’ve experienced it first hand more times than i can count)

i believe everyone is capable of changing and deserves a chance to show that they be a better person, i can tell you’re probably a young teen, and everyone and i mean everyone makes mistakes especially at that age, you deserve a chance to grow and you saw an opportunity and are taking it in stride. i am honored to see you grow like that because it’s something i never thought i would get to see in the way i did.

[bludpudding]

thoughts on corinthiel?

yowza. well. to put it simply it’s the equivalent of telling me to fuck a version of jesus christ that was also once a child I treated as my own son. so. gonna go ahead and give that one a hard pass

all that aside, I reject the symbolism of kneeling to an entity that claims they know you better than you know yourself with every fiber of my being. both iterations of dream have torn corinthian apart for showing any sign of searching for a happier life. he deserves a better ending than to lose the freedom and sense of self worth he’s been fighting for.

he’s been brainwashed beyond belief and doesn’t have the energy to run anymore, even if there’s still a part of him deep down that wishes for something better. begging your god to free you from the sin he placed you into at birth will be a life spent dreaming without result. the corinthian is the antithesis to this concept. he walks his own path, searching for joy in the only way he knows how, and because of that he is shunned by his own creator.

the story of judas iscariot is a good example of how easy it is to be painted as a villain for reasons out of your control.

[the-chosen-fanfiction]

Tamar | Like We Used To | Romantic [Male Reader]

Dialogue prompt: "You're a remarkable person."

Upon purchasing an olive grove that turns out to be less fruitful than what you had bargained for, you and Tamar rekindle the business you used to have when you were younger.

Requested by J Bart

“I’m telling you, we have been cheated out of our money! We made a grave error in our judgement, and now we must live with these consequences!” 

You know that voice and tone better than anyone else. Looking up from your writing, you see your childhood friend Tamar stomp into the room with a sour look on her face. Behind her enters Mary Magdalene with a frown knitting together her brow, her attempts to comfort Tamar’s obvious irritation in vain.

Tamar haphazardly tosses a basket of freshly picked olives on the table, her features twisted into sheer displeasure.A few fruits roll out upon impact.

“What’s going on?” you ask, reaching out to take an olive, but Tamar pushes away your hand before she even realises she is doing so. Her fingers linger on yours and she needs a second to gather her thoughts. 

“Don’t,” she commands, removing her hand, “It would be a disgrace to have you eat from these.” 

Sudden embarrassment grows within her dark eyes. You’re uncertain as to why she feels that way, but before you can open your mouth to inquire about it, she huffs and leaves the room in a hurry. 

You turn to Mary, who gives you an apologetic smile. “What happened?” There is no judgement in your voice. 

“We bought an olive grove.” Mary starts, causing a smile to tug at your lips. 

“Oh, an olive grove? My late father used to own one back at home, before it was destroyed by a forest fire. We used to make such refined oils. It’s how I met Tamar.”

Mary nods, smiling a little. “I know. She told me all about it while we were discussing whether to buy it or not.” Your heart skips a beat at the idea of your childhood friend talking about you in that way - a fond memory of the past, a strong foundation of your friendship - but Mary’s smile falls and you cannot ask further. “However, it turns out that we’ve been swindled.”

“Swindled?”

“Have a taste.” She gestures at the basket of olives Tamar has thrown onto the table.

You raise an eyebrow. “But Tamar just said not to.”

Mary shrugs. “I think she’s just a little embarrassed. She feels like we’ve made ourselves a bad deal, and since we are women, we’ve been under more scrutiny regarding how we spend our time and money in the ministry than the others.”

You want to open your mouth to protest that, but the words die in your throat. After all, there is some truth to her words, as much as you’d like to be able to contest them.

“I don’t blame either of you. It’s not like you could have known. Besides, Judas is the keeper of the purse, right?” You smile reassuringly and take an olive, rolling it around between your thumb and forefinger. It feels a bit mushy, but it isn’t as bad as the worst harvest your father once had after poor weather. “So trust me, I will not be the one calling judgement over that.”

With bated breath, Mary watches as you pop the green drupe into your mouth and chew down. 

In your entire life, you’ve eaten all kinds of olives. Fresh from the vine, straight from a festering pile at the local market, from everywhere between Ethiopia to Egypt to here in Judea. You’ve consumed green ones, black ones, even ones that didn’t seem right in colour. Sweet olives, bitter olives, sour olives in all shapes and sizes.

These, however, deserve a place in your top five least favourite olives you’ve ever eaten. You have to resist the urge to gag the second you bite into it and feel the tears spring into your eyes. Grabbing a handkerchief from your pocket, you spit into it, wrapping it up to throw out later. 

You don’t even have to say anything when you look up at Mary, who gives you an apologetic look. “We are fully aware.” she says, even though you weren’t planning on making a remark about it anyway.

Taking a few deep breaths, you nod to yourself. “Okay. This is nothing we can’t fix. I’m certain we can make this work. I’ve got the expertise we need.”

Mary smiles and nods. “I don’t doubt that, (Y/n). Now, I suggest you’d go and find her.”

You immediately stand, abandoning your previous task for the sake of a more important one. 

“Alright. Thank you, Mary. I’ll go and find her.”

Mary Magdalene smiles knowingly. “You’re welcome.”

You head further into Matthew’s former residence by entering through the doors and heading up the stairs when you find the finely decorated space to be empty. 

It never ceases to amaze you just how much this house must cost compared to what the average Judean was used to, but you decide to not think about it too much. After all, Matthew has given all of this up for the ministry, making sacrifices, too.

You try a few rooms, and in the third one you open the door of, you find Tamar sitting with her back towards you, obviously upset.

“Tamar?” 

Her shoulders tense upon hearing you call her name, no matter how gentle the tone of your voice.

“Mary told me about the olive grove.”

She shrinks in embarrassment. “Go on, then.” You frown in puzzlement, and when you don’t reply to her comment, she adds: “Laugh at me.”

“Why would I do that?” you genuinely ask.

“Because I failed. I was so certain of this and now… Now I just… This was a mistake an experienced woman like myself shouldn’t have made.”

You give a small shake of your head. “Tamar, you—”

“No, (Y/n), I’ve made a grave error in my judge–”

“–Tamar.” When you speak her name with the same familiar emphasis you’ve used on her while you were children whenever she was rambling, her gaze instantly meets yours, her lips slightly askew as she looks at you. 

“It’s okay.” you whisper. “Everything will be okay. We can work something out. We’re experts, aren’t we? And now, we can use that expertise to serve the ministry.”

She gulps and bites her bottom lip. “You think so?” She sounds so uncertain and you wish you could take all of that away from her so she’d be her confident self again in this situation.

“Of course,” you reassure her, ”I’ve got enough expertise to help out. I could take a look at the treatment the trees might need. We could find a farmer who knows the soil around here and ask him about it, too. This isn’t a bad deal, Tamar. It’s an opportunity to transform this into something lasting.”

Her lips curve upwards into a small smile, but she remains silent. That same flicker of uncharacteristic self-consciousness flickers in her eyes. You take it as a sign to keep on talking.

“I know you drive an immaculate bargain, Tamar. I don’t blame you, nor do I think you’re inept because of this singular mishap. We’ll figure it out, alright? We’ve always done so.” A blush tinges your cheeks as you form the next words. “I think you’re a remarkable person. I’ve always thought so.”

“Really?” Tamar whispers, her gaze meeting yours as a soft smile graces her lips. She seems youthful as she does so, and you feel your heart skip several beats at the way her eyes light up. 

You nod, mirroring her fond expression. “Really.”

Her usual confidence is back.

“There you are again.” you comment kindly, “That self-assuredness of yours always looks so good on you.”

Tamar gives you a shiver of a smile, a faint shyness on her features. “Honestly, I just felt embarrassed because… Well, because I want to impress you. Because I really like you, (Y/n). I always have.”

The confession is sudden. Now it’s your turn to turn abashed. Your heart hammers inside your chest at the way she’s looking at you with a mixture of hope and embarrassment. You aim to take away the latter. With her words, there is no need for you to beat around the bush anymore, either.

“Oh? You don’t need to impress me, you know. You already do so. I’ve always liked you. As in, more than a friend.”.

She squirms at the sudden admission and you swear her eyes sparkle brighter than you’ve ever seen them do before. “Me, too.” she declares, leaning closer to you. “Since we were very young.”

For a long moment, the two of you look at one another, trying to process the sudden shift in your conversation.

“So… Now what?” Tamar says with a small hint of a giggle in her voice, and you chuckle.

“I don’t know. I… We can’t exactly do things the way our culture commands us to do.”

“We’re Gentiles following a Jewish Preacher.” Tamar comments. The pair of you laugh for a brief second. “I don’t think it really matters if we follow our own culture anymore at this point.”

Your smile turns slightly solemn in remembrance. “It would have been nice, though.”

Tamar’s expression changes as well at the sudden memory of how much both of you lost. But what you had gained in the end… 

“I suggest we go to our Teacher,” you start, “And ask Him what He thinks we should do. I do have every intention of marrying you, Tamar.”

Once again, she lets out a bashful sound. “You want to marry me?” 

“Yes! Are you surprised after I just confessed how I feel about you?” You let out a light laugh.

She gives you a playful look. “I suppose I am not.”

“Good.” you whisper, “Good.”

Tamar beams at you, leaning closer to press a soft kiss against your cheek, and you happily sigh, inhaling deeply to speak. “You know,” you pipe up, “To be honest, I am really glad that you purchased that olive grove and that it turned out to be bad business.”

Almost offended, Tamar gasps. “Hey, you just said it wasn’t bad–”

“–Otherwise we wouldn’t have come together to create a plan to fix all of this, and otherwise I don’t think I’d ever have found the right opportunity to confess what I feel for you.” you cut her off, taking her hand in yours, stroking the back of it with your thumb.

She exhales and gazes at you fondly. “Maybe something good came out of it, then.”

“And more good will come of it.” you reassure her. “We can fix this. It’s good to be back in business with you.”

“It really is.” Tamar muses.

As the two of you sit in pleasant silence, the realisation starts to settle. You squeeze her hand and she squeezes back with equal force.

You silently thank the former owner of the olive grove for the poor maintenance of his trees. 

[arizonaaaaaa]

Glee cast sings Born This Way by Lady Gaga

Marry the Night sung by Elliot ‘Starchild’ Gilbert in “A Katy or a Gaga”

-I’ll say it right away, I think this cover is better than the original, I’m not ashamed to say it, maybe just a bit, Elliot’s version of the song is just so good you can’t love, would be better if he was in drag but that was too woke for Ryan Murphy

Born This Way sung by Kurt, Mercedes and Tina in “Born This Way”

-this is one isn’t better than the original but it’s also very good, I couldn’t imagine someone other than Kurt to say the little monologue at the start, Mercedes and Tina also kill in this song, however I’m still pissed they cut the “no matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgender life” from the episode when Kurt just came back and Santana is dealing with her sexuality, it just fits so much, I also don’t like the shirts, I’d do something like Wanna be Startin’ Something and have all of them dance while wearing a Gaga outfit

Government Hooker sung by Puck and Rachel in “The First Time”

-I imagine this as Rachel trying to prove to Artie that she can be sexy while being a virgin, she would ask Puck to help, and while he does great with his bad boy charm she would once again rock the “sad clown hooker” look, I’m not sure if Puck could do a Dutch accent but it’s worth to try

Judas sung by Joe Hart in season 4

-two words, Kitty Wilde, Joe had no storylines this season, and if I’m being honest I think they were trying to push a romance between these two before deciding to create that random romance between Kitty and Artie, either way it could be interesting seeing Joe singing this, as if “Judas” was tempting him into sinning, and I mean, what is Kitty if not a little satanic version of Quinn Fabray?

Americano sung by Cassandra July in “The New Rachel”

-I don’t like this mash-up🫣, I would either stick with Americano or Dance Again, since this is a Gaga post that’s what I’m sticking with, it’s not all that spectacular but it gets the job done, Santana could do the song justice but I rather not have the only Latina sing this

Hair sung by Quinn Fabray in “The Purple Piano Project”

-Skank!Quinn deserved a song! This song feels almost like a coming out scene, making a connection between hair and freedom, since it’s the only body part we can change without judgment, guess what happens with Quinn’s hair this season

Scheiße sung by Brittany, Quinn and Santana

-honestly I just want Quinn and Santana singing a feminist anthem, their voices would work a lot, and it kind of matches their season 4 selves, just throw Brittany singing the “German” parts and there, you have an amazing trio

Bloody Mary sung by Tina Cohen-Chang in “The Sue Sylvester Shuffle”

-this would be PEAK goth Tina, she and the girls would be in their zombie make up on stage teaching the glee guys and the football players how to be scary and zombie-y, Mr Schue and the gluys would hype them up while the football guys would be confused and a little scared, Tina was really robbed of solos on the show and I think she deserved this one since her only actual solo in season 2 was cut less than halfway through

Black Jesus † Amen Fashion sung by Mercedes and Quinn

-this was hard to choose, but after analyzing the lyrics as well as the background of the song I think these two would fit quite well, Black Jesus represent a different view on both religion and life in general, which for me fits Quinn’s character, while Amen Fashion represent how easy it is to change just like your fashion, which after thinking really represents Mercedes personality change from season 3 to 4, she obviously became more mature and a better friend for me, they’re also Christian which was another reason to assign them this song

Bad Kids sung by Noah ‘Puck’ Puckerman in season 3

-this song is very Puck coded, especially his “Lima loser era”, the song starts with a heavy guitar solo but the guitar is barely used after that, if Puck would sing it, I would make the song way more rock n’ roll to fit his vibe during the end of the season, also the song is about embracing yourself for however you are, and I guess Puck would embrace his bad kid side

Fashion of His Love sung by Mercedes Jones in season 5

-this song was made for Mercedes Jones in her adult phase, being a tribute to Alexander McQueen and Whitney Houston, it fuses elements from McQueen’s fashion, Whitney’s inspired beats and several references to religion and god, this had so much potential on being a church choir song

Highway Unicorn (Road to Love) sung by Brittany and Kurt in “I am Unicorn”

-I was actually dumbfounded when this song wasn’t featured at all in the episode, like, the episode is named after unicorns what do you mean, this could be one instance where a character just starts singing, which would be Brittany and another one joins in after being confused with the sudden singing, which would be Kurt

Heavy Metal Lover sung by Kitty Wilde in season 4

-this would be the song Kitty would choose to confess her love for Ryder, which would be actually very funny since this song is so kinky and bdsm-y and Ryder is objectively the most vanilla guy ever, I can totally picture him being all 😃 during the whole song, sadly for Kitty, Ryder doesn’t reciprocate her feelings

Electric Chapel sung by Elliot and Santana

-I actually don’t have idea for an episode or season where this song would fit, the only reason I chose this two is because I think their voices would fit the song, also because this is my favorite song from Gaga ever, and I think they would do it’s justice

The Queen sung by Marley Rose in “Diva”

-Marley doesn’t sing in the episode at all, she could sing this to show that despite being shy and sweet and kind she can still be a diva, or in this case a queen, also this song may be a tribute to Freddie Mercury and it’s kind of a coincidence since Blaine sings a song by him on the episode

Yoü and I sung by Shelby and Will in “Mash Off”

-I’m not a hater or this mash-up but I am a fan of this song, so no mash-up, Will does sound really good but he sings more of the other You and I so I’d distribute the lines a little more equally between the two, Shelby does a decent job, the song originally talks about a past relationship of Gaga, but I guess lyrics wise it can also be a song of Will wishing the New Directions could be together again, it was never shown but I know he was sad over the girls leaving, they were kind of his daughters, Shelby is just giving support, hate this woman

The Edge of Glory sung by Mercedes, Quinn, Santana and Tina with the Trouble Tones in “Nationals”

-this song was done great, I have no complaints, Santana sing in the start is the best part for me, Quinntina slay their verse and Mercedes does excellent as usual

Bonus: songs that aren’t from the album but are from the same era

Stuck on Fuckin’ You sung by April Rhodes

-this song was written for April omg, that’s literally a song about her admitting her attraction to Will while saying how he is her alcohol and her addiction, and while I’m not a fan of April or her situationship with Will she’s pretty much the only woman that can sing country so she’s an obvious choice, let’s see how many times she appears in Joanne

And that’s it, this was really fun to write, I absolutely love this album, it’s by far my favorite, the next one is ARTPOP, and I’ll admit I didn’t like this album at first, but upon re-listening to it opened my eyes to its perfection, see you next week or so :)