#joythoughthepain

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Day 11: Christmas Sweater Countdown— Surviving Your Trials Is Magic 

India.Aire hit the nail on the head when she sang I am not my hair. I am not my skin. I am not your expectations. I AM the soul that lives within. And so are you.  It’s by god’s grace or magic that I’ve overcome the health obstacles in my life: two strokes, two stomach repair surgeries, three lymph node removal surgeries due to a cancer scare, dozens of procedures, miscarriages, back pain, foot…

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What You Think You Become

I wrapped my arms around myself as I went to bed last night. It was my small way of quieting the thoughts that were bombarding me like, “what do I have to do tomorrow? When am I going to my knee replacement and foot and spine injections done? What are the holidays going to look like now that my immediate family is so tiny?” I thought about a video clip from “the Boondocks” a friend of mine sent…

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Don’t Piss Away Your Life

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Air Your Grievances And Move On

#HappyFestivus. For people who weren’t Seinfeld fans, this was a holiday celebrated by the Costanza family on the show. But, it’s origins stem from a holiday Dan O’Keefe’s family observed and it was hardly funny (please read his book). Nonetheless, others have embraced Festivus,including congressman Rand Paul. I unknowingly have practiced some of its elements for years, like the airing of…

[mcbeamon]

Air Your Grievances And Move On

#HappyFestivus. For people who weren’t Seinfeld fans, this was a holiday celebrated by the Costanza family on the show. But, it’s origins stem from a holiday Dan O’Keefe’s family observed and it was hardly funny (please read his book). Nonetheless, others have embraced Festivus,including congressman Rand Paul. I unknowingly have practiced some of its elements for years, like the airing of…

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Lean In To Living A Jolly Life

Are you living a jolly life? That’s what I wonder every time I look at this sweater. It’s my pick for day 21 of my ugly Christmas sweater countdown. The fact that Santa has tattoos doesn’t hurt because I still love mine 25 years later. I wasn’t sure when I got it how a black panther clawing its way out of flames truly represented me. Now I know I can make my way through the bonfires in life and…

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You’ll Pay The Price for Being Naughty

I’m calling myself out for naughty behavior this weekend. You see, I was moving stuff back to its proper place after eating market carpets cleaned for my birthday Andy back didn’t like that. I should know better. I’ve had more than a dozen procedures to burn the nerves in my back so I can walk with limited pain. Anyway, I rested immediately after it happened but I had dinner plans for my…

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Be Authentic and Loving

She never used the word naughty but every time she saw me my aunt “Lola,” Rubelle Johnson, always checked to see if I was behaving. She would say, “you acting right? Doing right? If not, I’ll box you in the mouth.” Of course, being my mother’s child I’d answer sarcastically with, “what are you really going to do old lady? You’ve been threatening that since I was born.” She’d reply, “mind now! I…

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Forget The Superficial

What are you asking Santa for or praying for this year? I chose this shirt for day 15 of my ugly Christmas  sweater countdown after spending the day reflecting on my final hours with my mother. As she lay, waiting to get transferred to hospice, I asked my mother if there was anything she wanted at this point to make her life complete. She said no. She said she’d done and accomplished nearly…

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Recognize The Gifts In Your Life Before They’re Gone

Whenever I’d ask you if you were going to meet me somewhere or do something, you’d often respond, “god willing and the creek don’t rise.” 15 months ago, I left your side expecting to talk to you the next day, but God’s will was done and you left this world. Some days it feels like no time has passed. My mind processes your absence like your on a trip or something. Other days it seems like it…

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Everything That’s Necessary Isn’t Comfortable

No one ever told me that everything in life that’s necessary won’t always be comfortable. I heard, “life isn’t fair,” but thats a slightly different notion than the previous. The older I get the more I realize there are some things I just don’t feel like doing or aren’t comfortable doing like planning a funeral, informing someone of a death, going to work when I’m not 100 percent, attending an…

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Cling To Memories That Paint A Happy Picture

“I can’t stay in this house one more minute,” I said to my mother while wearing a neck brace after a procedure on the nerves in the surgical region of my spine in January 2016. “Where do you want to go?” My mother asked. “We’ve been saying for a while that we wanted to try one of those sip and paint events,” I replied. I searched Groupon and found one in Manhattan that night and we were…

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Push Yourself Until You Can Ride Off Into The Sunset

#FridayFreeling… that’s what I thought when I rummaged through my ugly Christmas sweater collection and stopped on this one. I may not exclaim, “ho, ho, ho,” like Santa, I thought, but I’ll definitely say thank God it’s Friday. I can’t wait to get this work day started so it can hopefully be over quickly. There is a huge part of me that loves what I do. I write every day and my words convey…

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Keep On Keeping On

Who couldn’t use a vacation right now or at least some kind of break to get away from it all? As a chronically ill person taking immunosuppressants daily, I’ve hesitated to get on a plane to go anywhere. I’ve actually avoided places with a lot of people too despite having received three Covid vaccine shots. But, let’s face it, Covid and it’s many variants maybe here to stay. This means I, and…

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If You Believe It, You Can Do It

I’ve always found it easy to believe in God; that there is something greater than myself and a guide for living a fulfilling and purposeful life. This has gotten me through some of the darkest and most difficult times in my life. I believe that my parents passing along the legend of Santa was also gift. It taught me to give freely, do what I can to brighten someone else’s day, that charity can…

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A Youthful Heart Makes Aging Easier

I’m a kid at heart, which I suppose is one of the keys to enjoying the aging process, which sometimes isn’t fun. I still like to laugh, try new things and explore. I was wandering around looking for unique decorations for my Christmas tree this weekend and I chuckled when I saw a squirrel ornament. It reminded me of a character from the cartoon,”SpongeBob SquarePants.” I first got turned on to…