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luci-in-trenchcoats · 1 year ago

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Rainbow Bridge

Summary: The reader is incredibly confused when in heaven one day, a dog she's never met before appears by her side...

Pairing: Dean x reader (in heaven)

Word Count: 1,800ish

Warnings: language, mention of pet death/human death

A/N: I wrote this for my fellow pet owners (and myself). Hopefully those little dudes over the rainbow bridge have their own kinds of adventures like these pups while they wait! (and all the chicken nuggies they can eat 😉)

_______

The air shifted, a warm and joyful presence filling the air. You glanced down in your kitchen, an adorable dog with long fur and pointy ears staring up at you with a wagging tail.

“Well good morning to you, cutie,” you laughed, bending down in your pajamas with your cup of coffee, giving the dog a few pets. “Who might you be?”

The dog woofed and the thought Miracle sprang into your head. That wasn’t entirely uncommon. Animals in the afterlife were able to communicate a bit better than they had when you were alive.

One of your own dogs you’d had when you were alive, your first dog ever, bounded upstairs from the playroom on the lower level that was for them to use as a way station. Sometimes they liked to stick around home, sometimes by your side and others they’d go off and visit their own animal friends they’d made. But generally they kept to themselves first thing in the day.

“This a friend of yours, baby?” you asked your little dog. He ran over to Miracle, sniffing intensely before he snorted. “No huh. Did you just die, Miracle? I know sometimes dogs are a little confused when they get here and you got your young, healthy bodies back.”

Miracle woofed with a slight head shake, your lips pursing. Your own dog pawed at you, resting a little foot on your arm. You hummed at him, the little guy sending you some positive feelings, sensing you were worried.

“Alright. I’ve never heard of a random dog appearing in heaven unless you request one. You show Miracle around the house and where he can do his business while I get ready. Then we’ll try to figure out who your owner is, okay?” Both dogs yelped happily and took off downstairs, a loud crash at the bottom as they slammed into your boot tray. “Careful! Just cause you can’t get hurt doesn’t mean you can be reckless!”

More than one dog barked back in response and you rolled your eyes, heading for your bedroom.

“At least I don’t have to pay vet bills for you guys anymore. Five dogs is only kind of a lot for one eternity.” You heard more barking and groaned. “I wasn’t complaining you mongrels! I was quite pleased to see your little faces when I died. I could have done with a little less face licking though.”

You swore you could hear the faint echo of laughter in their barks as you got ready for the day.

“If I’m not back by supper make sure you boys get some dinner,” you called, heading outside with Miracle. You loaded into your car and headed down the road, thinking you had a problem. Soon you were taking an off ramp you’d not seen before. You wound up in a mostly empty parking lot, Miracle following you out and into the lone building around.

“Take an issue form and fill out everything before returning it to the counter,” grumbled the guy behind the desk, shoving a clipboard towards you. You stepped through the empty waiting room, picking up the board. You opened your mouth to speak when he sighed. ��The form is a requirement by the big man. I’m just doing my job.”

“How do you have a job which is arguably the equivalent of working at the DMV, but in heaven? Like, we don’t have jobs.” He flickered his eyes up at you, making you jump back when they flashed black.

“Demon, sweetie. It’s part of my rehab program so I can someday be like you. By then, some other schmuck in the program will have my job. No more questions.”

“Okay…” you said, grabbing a pen and taking a seat, Miracle laying down on the floor beside you. You stared at the form, frowning when you didn’t see your particular issue listed.

“Um, excuse me, Mr. Demon,” you said, approaching the counter again, the guy rolling his eyes at you. “My problem doesn’t appear on the form?”

“That’s impossible. Those are the only issues possible of occurring in heaven.” You pointed at Miracle beside you, the guy standing to look down at him.

“I have no clue who this dog is and it’s not my dog’s friend. He just appeared next to me in my kitchen this morning,” you said. The demon stared at you, rubbing his temples.

“Remember your steps, remember your steps,” he muttered to himself before forcing a smile. “Listen. Dogs don’t get lost in heaven. Either you know his owner-”

“Nope. My dogs don’t recognize him.”

“Fine,” gritted out the demon. “Then you and the owner of this dog are soulmates in some way.”

You blinked at him, the man angrily typing on his keyboard.

“This dog belongs to a man named Dean Winchester. You and Dean Winchester were alive, somewhat, during the same time. He died a lot younger than you did. You two are…romantic soulmates,” he said, a fax machine going in the back. He got up and ripped off a sheet of paper, handing it to you. “Here’s his address. Now please go bother him instead of me.”

You rolled your eyes, ready to leave when you stopped, glancing down at Miracle. “Do you like, want to pet the dog?”

“Excuse me?” You turned around, the demon still on his feet.

“Well I mean, it’s probably been awhile since you’ve seen a dog or gotten to pet one. You can’t be that horrible if they’re letting you up here with the rest of us. So do you want to pet him?”

It was shocking how quickly the demon hopped over the counter and knelt down next to the dog, giving him a few pats and then a belly rub.

“I had a dog when I was a kid. I can’t wait to see her again once I get out of here,” he said, glancing up at you, seeming to forget he was a demon for a moment. “That was weird.”

“Dogs are kinda perpetually happy here and give off good energy. I’m sure your dog is looking forward to seeing you too,” you said as Miracle sat up and headed for the door. “Apparently I’m on the move. See ya around someday.”

“Yeah. Someday,” he said as you left. Five seconds later, now that you knew where you were going, you popped yourself over to this Dean Winchester’s place. You were standing outside a beautiful two story cabin on a lake, Miracle taking off in a sprint down a dock to where someone was sitting in a chair fishing.

Your heart felt funny as the man on the dock stood and turned around, cocking his head at you. He gave Miracle a good ruffle before he approached, meeting you halfway across his backyard.

“Hi,” he said with a smile, shaking his head. “I uh-”

You both jumped when your five dogs appeared, running and chasing around a ball in the yard, Miracle joining in after them.

“Your dog popped into my kitchen this morning. I’m pretty sure we’re soulmates. At least that’s what this paper says,” you said, the pack of dogs sprinting around the corner of the house. “I’ve had a few pups in my life.”

“Miracle could do with some siblings,” he said, smirking as you felt a cozy peace inside you. “I was wondering where he ran off to. He normally doesn’t stray far from home. Looks like he was off finding his mom.”

“I thought soulmates were supposed to like…snap together when they’re both in heaven,” you said. He smirked, pursing his lips. “What?”

“I probably wasn’t in heaven when you died. I was jumping around alternate worlds and you look very confused all of a sudden.” You nodded, staring at him wide eyed. “I’m a smidge of a rule breaker…and I kinda know Jack…and took down the old god.”

Your first instinct was to call him crazy but he had no reason to lie. Besides, something ached in his soul, like it had a little bruise on it. This man had known serious pain and then some when he was alive.

“You know, I killed vampires when I was alive. What’s something you did for fun?” he asked. Your jaw dropped, Dean chuckling. “Oh boy. Sweetheart, you and I have some catching up to do.”

“Hi baby,” you said that night as you and Dean laid on a blanket in the yard, your little guy crawling up on the blanket and settling in beside Dean. “Aw, he likes you.”

“He’s protective of you. I can feel it,” he said with a hum. “He hung out with your grandparents a lot after he died. Apparently while you were crying over him on earth, he was chowing down on some of your grandpa’s maple syrup bacon thinking mom’s being overdramatic, I’m gonna see her again. She worries too much.”

You sat up, raising an eyebrow. “How do you know that? My grandparents told me they were with him until my parents got here and he stayed with them a while but dogs can’t talk to us like that here. We can sense them and stuff but we can’t know complete thoughts.”

Dean smiled, scratching behind the dogs ears.

“Well, I’m a little special. I worked a case where I could communicate with dogs once. It came back up here. This little guy adores the fuck out of you and wishes you hadn’t been so sad back then but he understands. He is pretty awesome,” laughed Dean.

“And he’s a little shit,” you giggled. “What else does he say?”

“He’s glad you got more dogs over your life and he’s glad you found me finally. Also if we don’t stop talking soon he’s going to go inside and sleep on our bed,” chuckled Dean. “Cranky baby, aren’t you?”

The dog snorted, stood up, licked your nose and trotted off inside with his chin turned up.

“Like I said, he’s a sassy little shit,” you chuckled, Dean pulling you closer. “So Dean. What do you got planned for the afterlife?”

“A bit of fishing here and there. Working on my car. Going out for a drink at the roadhouse. Hanging with my brother. Sneak out of heaven to get up to shit every once in a while, hopefully with you. How’s that sound?” he asked. You leaned over and kissed him slowly, rolling back with a smile.

“Sounds like a plan, Winchester. Time to start having some fun in eternity.”

___________

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #winchester #dean spn #dean x #dean winchester one shot

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nycky-b · 13 days ago

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Beneath the Stars

Warnings: jealous harry, fred being a flirt, slow burn romance, enemies to lovers, Christmas!

Paring: Harry Potter x Reader

Wordcount: 2.769

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Chapter 3

The Burrow hummed with the joyful chaos of Christmas Eve, a home so full of life it seemed to pulse with its own heartbeat. The warm, comforting smell of freshly baked mince tarts drifted from the kitchen, where Molly Weasley, her sleeves rolled up, was orchestrating her usual culinary masterpieces.

“Now really, boys, was this entirely necessary?”

The faint sound of Mr. Weasley’s voice carried through the window as you stirred in bed. Curiosity piqued, you got up and leaned against the windowsill, your breath misting the cold glass as you watched the scene below.

“It’s a Christmas miracle, Dad!” Fred’s voice rang out, full of mischief. He gestured dramatically at the two snowmen he and George had enchanted to duel with tiny broomsticks in the garden. One of the snowmen had just lost an arm, and George was doubled over with laughter. “We’ve been improving the neighborhood decorations,” Fred added with a grin.

“Improving! They’ve already chased the gnomes into the kitchen,” Mr. Weasley shot back, exasperated but clearly amused.

Behind you, the rustling of sheets drew your attention. Hermione sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes as she mumbled, “What’s going on out there?”

“Fred and George,” you replied, your eyes still fixed on the garden spectacle. “They’ve enchanted snowmen to duel in the garden.”

Hermione sighed, her lips curving into a small, tired smile. “I am not surprised. Are you always this nosy?”

You turned to face her, matching her smile with a wide grin of your own. “Only when there’s a Weasley twin involved.”

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Hermione sat cross-legged on the overstuffed armchair in the corner of Ginny’s room, her copy of Hogwarts: A History resting forgotten on her lap as she watched you rummage through a tin of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans on the bed.

“Honestly, Y/N, how can you eat those without fear?” Hermione asked, wrinkling her nose as you popped a green bean into your mouth, promptly wincing.

“Grass,” you said, sticking out your tongue in exaggerated disgust to annoy her. “Not the worst, but not exactly Christmas pudding either.” You leaned back on your elbows, sighing. “This place is incredible, isn’t it?”

Hermione nodded, her expression softening. “It’s nice to have a proper family Christmas. Even if Ron and Harry spend time arguing over who enchants the tree better.”

You gave her a knowing look. “Speaking of Ron…”

Hermione immediately turned a shade of pink that matched the baubles on the tree downstairs. “I saw the way you looked at him during dinner yesterday when he was trying to wrestle the last roast potato from Harry. It’s like you were watching a noble knight preparing for battle.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hermione said, though her voice lacked conviction. “He’s… infuriating! Half the time, he doesn’t even notice when—”

“When you’re staring at him with those heart-eyes?” You interjected, laughing harder as Hermione threw a pillow in your direction.

Hermione smirked brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “What about Harry?”

You continued carefully sorting the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans into neat little piles. “What about him?”

Hermione perched on the bed. “Oh, you know, when you and Harry were outside last night.”

You froze mid-motion. “We were just talking. That’s all.”

“Talking?” Hermione teased, her smile growing wider. “You two? Can you even go a single conversation without arguing about something?”

Your eyes narrowed, but a nervous flicker crossed your face. “Oh, please,” you said, rolling her eyes and trying to sound nonchalant. “You’re imagining things, it was nothing much.”

Hermione tilted her head, studying you with a knowing look. “Really?” she pressed, her tone light but playful. “Because from where I was standing, it seemed like there might be something–”

A knock interrupted them, you exchanged a glance with Hermione and Fred's voice rang out from behind the door. “Ladies, open up! Come see our gifts of holiday cheer.”

You swung ithe door open, revealing the twins standing there, with a mischievous grin across their faces.

George bowed dramatically. “Ladies, your presence is requested downstairs for a demonstration of pure genius.”

Hermione led the way on the stairs, George following closely behind. You and Fred exchanged glances and fell into step behind them.

You turned slightly “What’s the grand idea this time?”

Fred leaned in, lowering his voice. "We’ve enchanted the mistletoe so it follows people around the house. And when you least expect it, bam—you’ve got a kiss landing on your cheek."

“You’re trying to get your parents to kill you today, aren’t you?”

Fred grinned. "Not at all. Just a little holiday cheer."

The group reached the living room, where Ron, Harry, and Ginny was chatting. Harry’s gaze lifted instinctively, his eyes meeting yours, his breath caught, his chest tightening. He couldn’t look away. But you did, turning your head as a subtle flush crept up your neck.

"Right, everyone!" Fred called to the room. "Gather round! Today, we’re giving the Burrow a little festive upgrade."

"Fred, not more of your nonsense," Ron groaned. "Mum will have our heads if we get her in trouble again."

"Oh, relax, Ron," George replied with a smirk. "This is just the perfect gift for everyone."

George handed you a small jar of glittering mistletoe. "Here, Y/N, go on and try it out on someone. Ron looks like he’s about to pass out from the idea already."

“This will be fun,” she muttered. It wasn’t long before you spotted your first victim: Fred. With a mischievous grin, you slipped the enchanted mistletoe into position just above his head.

“Hey, Fred!” you called out sweetly, a hint of mischief in your voice.

“Well, well, what’s this? Can’t resist my charm after all, Y/N?” Fred teased, winking at you with exaggerated flair.

Harry, perched on the arm of the couch, went still. His eyes flicked toward you, his grip tightening on the cushion beneath his hand. He told himself it didn’t matter—Fred was always a flirt, and you were… well, you.

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t stop the smile tugging at your lips. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you retorted, playful but dismissive.

Above Fred, the enchanted mistletoe twinkled before dropping into place, hanging over his head. Fred let out a surprised laugh, and you couldn’t help but join in, the sound bubbling out of you.

Harry’s stomach churned. That laughter of yours—bright and unrestrained—felt like it was aimed directly at him. He clenched his jaw, trying to look indifferent, but he couldn’t stop his gaze from trailing back to you, absorbing every detail.

The firelight danced across the golden tones in your hair as you tilted your head back to laugh, the sight twisting something deep inside him. Then Fred, ever cheeky, leaned in and planted a quick kiss on your cheek.

“Lucky I’m feeling generous today,” Fred said with another wink, clearly enjoying the attention.

You wiped your cheek in mock exasperation, shaking your head. “You’re impossible,” you muttered, though your voice betrayed your amusement.

From across the room, Harry’s expression darkened. His hand dropped from the cushion to rest on his knee, his fingers drumming in an uneven rhythm. He told himself again it didn’t matter—it was Fred, just Fred. But the knot in his stomach stubbornly refused to loosen.

Determined not to let Fred have all the fun, you turned your attention toward Ron, a devilish grin spreading across your face. Hermione deserved a kiss, after all.

“Oi, Ron!” you called out, your voice dripping with mock innocence.

Ron’s eyes widened in horror. “Not again! Get that thing away from me!” he shouted, twisting and ducking as the mistletoe homed in on him.

The twins doubled over with laughter, and you joined in, your cheeks flushed with the thrill of the moment. But even as you laughed, you felt a strange prickle of awareness, like being caught under a spotlight.

The relentless mistletoe cornered Ron near Hermione, and the chants began. “Kiss her, Ron! Kiss Hermione!” Fred and George shouted in unison.

Hermione’s face turned crimson as she squealed, “Ron! Don’t you dare!”

Ron groaned, a look of sheer defeat crossing his face, before leaning in to press a quick, awkward peck to Hermione’s cheek. The room exploded with cheers and howls of laughter.

Fred and George collapsed against each other, gasping for breath, while Hermione clutched her cheek in horror. “Oh my—Ron!”

Ron, bright red, grumbled under his breath, “You two are the worst.”

You shook your head, still grinning as you joined in the laughter. But as the room’s chaos carried on, you couldn’t shake an odd feeling—an awareness that someone’s attention lingered on you.

Almost instinctively, your gaze shifted, seeking the source, and your eyes met Harry’s. He wasn’t laughing. His green eyes were fixed on you, his expression unreadable, but his intensity made the air around you feel heavier.

The moment stretched, and you felt a sudden shiver run through you, a warmth spreading through your chest even as your smile faltered.

Harry quickly turned away, his shoulders stiff as though he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t. He stood abruptly, pretending to fuss with the decorations on the mantel.

The laughter around you carried on, but you couldn’t fully join in anymore. The room felt just a little too loud, a little too chaotic. Your heart thudded unevenly in your chest, no matter how much you tried to focus on the twins’ antics.

But in the back of your mind, you couldn’t forget the way Harry had looked at you—or the warmth that lingered in its wake, unsettling and undeniable.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Night had fallen. The garden lay quiet, with the soft glow of the Burrow's windows casting long shadows across the snow-dusted ground. You leaned casually against the low wall, a grin spreading across your face as you remembered Hermione’s awkward attempt to downplay Ron’s kiss. The way she stumbled over her words, her cheeks flushed a deep red, was pure entertainment. You and Ginny had laughed together, teasing her until her irritation bubbled over. It was all in good fun, but eventually, you’d slipped away, seeking a brief moment of silence.

Your gloved fingers traced patterns in the frost as your gaze wandered to Harry, standing a few feet away with his hands buried deep in his pockets.

“You’re awfully quiet tonight, Potter,” you said, your voice lilting with mock concern. “Brooding again? Or did Fred steal the last of your self-righteousness along with your dignity?”

His lips twitched, but he didn’t rise to the bait right away. Instead, he tilted his head, narrowing his eyes slightly as he studied you. “Is that supposed to be funny?”

You grinned, a mischievous glint in your eye. “It’s a little funny. You’ve been sulking all night like someone stole your favorite broomstick. Or maybe you’re just jealous Fred is better company than you.”

The words were meant to tease, to provoke, but they landed differently. Harry straightened, his stance shifting, and when he turned to look at you fully, there was something in his expression that made the air between you feel suddenly charged.

“Jealous?” he echoed, his voice low and edged with challenge. “You think I’m jealous?”

You blinked, caught off guard by the intensity in his tone, but you recovered quickly, leaning into the moment with a smirk. “Aren’t you? You’ve been glaring at me all morning like I’ve committed some grave sin by laughing with Fred. It’s written all over your face.”

He took a step closer, his boots crunching against the snow, his eyes never leaving yours. “Is that what you think?”

There was a shift in his voice, almost dangerous, that made your breath hitch. Still, you refused to back down, raising your chin in defiance. “It’s what I know.”

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice dropping even lower as he took another step toward you.

The space between you shrank, the crisp winter air around you charged with tension. You found yourself holding your breath as he closed the gap, his presence suddenly overwhelming.

“You want to know what I think?” Harry murmured, his words deliberate, his eyes locked on yours.

The teasing smile faltered on your lips as your pulse quickened. “Enlighten me,” you managed, though your voice was quieter now, uncertain.

“I think,” Harry said, his face now inches from yours, “you enjoy getting under my skin.”

His words were soft, almost a whisper, but the intensity in his gaze made your heart race. You could feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek, the tension between you so thick it was almost tangible.

“And I think,” he continued, his voice barely audible now, “you’re just as infuriating as you are—”

He stopped abruptly, the words hanging in the air as his gaze dropped to your lips for the briefest of moments. Your breath caught, your heart pounding in your chest as the silence stretched between you, heavy and electric.

Neither of you moved, neither dared to speak. The world around you seemed to fade, leaving only the quiet rhythm of your breathing and the unspoken weight of everything left unsaid.

Harry’s gaze, intense and unrelenting, stayed locked on yours, and for a moment, you thought he might actually say something profound. Your heart pounded in anticipation, a mix of defiance and something much more vulnerable swirling in your chest.

But then, just as the moment teetered on the edge, his lips curved into a slow, deliberate smirk. The sharp shift in his expression sent a jolt through you, scattering the fragile tension in a way that left you reeling.

“You know,” he murmured, his voice low and maddeningly casual, “you’re not as clever as you think you are.”

Before you could respond, he stepped back, his smirk widening as he shoved his hands into his pockets and turned toward the house. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he called over his shoulder, his tone almost lazy, but the sensation lingered.

You remained where you were, your breath shallow, your mind racing as you tried to process what had just happened. The cold bit at your cheeks, but it was nothing compared to the warmth that had surged through you when he’d been so close.

You let out a shaky breath, muttering under your breath, “Unbelievable.”

But even as you tried to steady yourself, you couldn’t shake the way his smirk had made your stomach flip or the lingering sensation of how he’d looked at you—like he could see everything.

And you hated that part of you wished he hadn’t walked away.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

As the morning light streams through the windows, the Weasley’s home bursts alive with the excitement of Christmas Day. But you find yourself lost in the quiet aftermath of the night before. The lingering sensation of Harry’s closeness, and the strange, electric tension between you, still clings to your thoughts.

You blink away the memory, forcing yourself to focus on the cheerful chaos around you. Everyone is exchanging presents, their laughter filling the air.

Nearby, you spot Ron handing Hermione a beautifully wrapped gift. She unwraps it carefully, revealing a small charm bracelet with a tiny golden book dangling from it. Her cheeks flush a brilliant shade of pink as she glances up at him.

“It’s beautiful,” Hermione says softly, her fingers brushing the charm.

Ron shrugs, though his ears are as red as his hair. “Yeah, well… you like books, don’t you?”

Hermione smiles shyly, fastening the bracelet around her wrist. “Thank you, Ron. I love it.”

You watch their exchange with a knowing smile before your gaze shifts toward Harry. Your stomach twists at the way Ginny hovers near him, her bright smile aimed his way.

Your thoughts are interrupted when Molly approaches, carrying a small package. “Y/N, dear, this one’s for you—from Harry.”

You blink in surprise, your gaze snapping to Harry. “From Harry?”

Harry straightens. “Er, yeah. Just something small.”

Carefully, you tear open the paper, revealing a leather-bound notebook with your initials embossed in silver on the cover. Your fingers trace the smooth surface, your expression softening.

“It’s beautiful,” you say, looking up at him. “Thank you.”

Harry shrugs awkwardly. “You mentioned once you liked to write, so… I thought you might use it.”

You stare at him for a moment, your usual teasing demeanor replaced by something quieter, more surprised. “I will. Thank you.”

The room seems to hum with a strange energy as your eyes meet his, neither of you quite sure what to say next.

Mrs. Weasley’s voice cuts through the moment, “Alright, who’s next?” She beams at the group and waves a hand to usher the gift exchange along.

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skylarmoon71 · 2 years ago

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Timeless Wells- Extra 2 (Flash)

“(Y/N)!! Good morning?”

You can’t help but smile.

After that very interesting encounter, you’d become somewhat friends with the billionaire genius. At first the relationship was more to give him a piece of mind. But now, these meetings and talks have become a blessing on both sides.

Harrison was not at all what the magazines made him out to be. You’d always assumed men like him would be prideful and self-centered. But he was humble, focused, fair and considerate. He knew how you felt about his abilities. So he was always careful. Not to mention every time you meet up, he always seems to light up like an excited puppy.You took a seat across from him, picking up the coffee with thanks.

“Have you installed the system I suggested in your labs? With such a high tech facility you would think there would be more urgency on security.” Harrison chuckles as you take a sip of your coffee.

“I have. We want to avoid situations like Mr. Davies happening in the future. I appreciate the concern.”

“Mhmm. The same goes for your powers. I saw what you did last week.”

He stammers.

“I-I don’t know what you mean.”

You roll your eyes.

“There was a kitten stuck in the tree and you particles your way up there. I pay attention Harrison. You’re lucky no one else saw you.”

He rubs his neck.

“What was I supposed to do, it was a kitten.” He mumbles cutely.

It’s really adorable that he’s using his sentinel powers for something so cute, but you are worried.

“I just want you to be careful Harrison. “

Your tone catches his attention. He gives a warm smile.

“I appreciate it. I’ll be careful from now on. The next time it happens I’ll be sure to call the professionals. “ You know he’s teasing, so you just sip at your tea with a little grin. One that Harriosn mirrors.

At the start, you were the one who was so guarded, but now it feels like your day is incomplete if you don’t see the joyful scientist. The way he beams. His kindness. Intelligence and those abilities that he possessed that gave him the power to do just about anything he pleased. Yet here he was. Working in a laboratory to solve world problems. It was remarkable. Admirable. Maybe that’s why your feelings had taken such a drastic change.

The both of you have fallen into a little rhythm.

Sometimes he’ll stop by the precinct, other times you’d stop by his office. You figured the only reason no one was suspicious was due to the fact that you were the detective that worked on his case. As you enter Star Labs, the woman at the reception desk sends you a smile.

“Good day Detective Morgan. I’ll go grab you your visitors card, please excuse me.” You nod.

As you wait by the desk for the visitor's card, you can’t help but hear the chatter behind you.

“I can’t believe how close they are. I heard that he’s dating her.”

“That’s ridiculous. If Dr. Wells and Ms. Daniels were dating it would be all over the paper. They are like the ultimate power couple. “ You glance at the two women conversing.

“Here you go Ms. Morgan.” You turn back quickly, taking the card from the receptionist with a smile.

“Thank you.” Excusing yourself, you head for the elevator.

“Dating?”

Harrison hadn’t told you anything about seeing anyone. Then again, was that really any of your business. Your current relationship was a bit hard to define. When the doors ding, you exit. You move to enter his office. Usually that’s where he is, but you hear a familiar laugh ahead. Heading to the direction of the kitchen, your steps slow when you hear the female voice.

“You really are a miracle worker. Thank you Harrison.”

“Of course. Anything for my favorite scientist. “

The laughter continues, and you stay hidden, glimpsing the interaction. Those gossiping women were right. They do look like a strong power couple. Your fist tightens, and you turn around, heading back to your precinct.

~~~

It’s foolish to think he wouldn’t notice your strange behavior.

You attended your morning meetings as per usual, but you were quiet. Distance. He noticed. But he felt as if it were wrong for him to pry. If you didn’t want to discuss it, then bringing it up would only annoy you. It’s not like the both of you were dating. He didn’t have that title.

It didn’t stop him from having the wildest theories in his head. Two weeks of the strange behavior, and he couldn’t stand it. He had every intention to confront that night when you got off your shift. But it seems you beat him to the punch.

“We should talk. Can I meet at your place tonight?”

His response was immediate. For a moment he cheered, because it seems you were finally comfortable enough to address the matter.

Then those treacherous thoughts returned.

He was relieved, but also a bit frightened. This was all still new territory. He understood. That’s why the minute you stepped into his home, he offered every apology he could think of.

“I’m sorry!” You turned to him, sliding your coat off, a bit confused.

“I know that this scares you. That I scare you sometimes. But if you want space then I’ll give it to you.”

“Harrison.”

It would be difficult, but he could compromise. Because truthfully you were the one in a tough situation.

“I understand, trust me I do.”

He just kept rambling.

“Harrison.”

Had he been in your situation, he probably would have ran for the hills. The fact that you stayed showed that on some level you trusted him. He would never risk that.

“This situation isn’t ideal but I’m will-”

“Harrison!!”

He finally stopped.

“My behavior lately has nothing to do with whatever you think you did.” He visibly deflates. You smile. He’s so childish sometimes.

“I have feelings for you Harrison.”

For a moment he just stares. Because he’s sure he misheard.

“Come again?”

“I..” you take a step closer. When you’re both just a breath away, he swallows.

“I have feelings for you Dr. Harrison Wells.”

His eyes reflect that adoration you’d seen from the first day he saw you. It’s then you realize how immature you were being. You take his hand softly on your own.

“That day when I came to the office I saw you with Ms. Daniels. She’s beautiful, smart and successful. Just like you. I heard some of your employees talking about how compatible you both were and when I saw you together it just felt real. You looked like a happy couple and it made me a bit jealous. I realized then that I was the one being unfair. I forced you into a friendship knowing how you felt. You just accepted it. You never pushed me for more or used it as leverage. It was sweet. But..when I saw you with her a part of me thought that you’d moved on and it hurt..”

“I’d never do that!” He says urgently. He subconsciously takes a step forward and you look up. When he catches how loud that statement came out, he clears his throat and tries to pull away. But you place your hands around his neck, pulling him close. His hands raise in surprise, and you giggle. He’s acting like a school boy.

“I’d like a chance to see what this is, where it goes. If that’s what you still want.” You can see the clear disbelief in his eyes. He’s still moving cautiously.

“Are..you sure that’s what you want?”

“I’m positive.” You clarify. Your eyes move to his lips. Harrison’s hands finally lowered. He still doesn’t completely make contact.

“Is it alright for me to touch you..kiss you?”

You nod, blissfully flushed.

He keeps checking, as if with one word this might all be gone. When you nod, it’s like the last of his restraint snaps. His hands find your waist and he pulls you in. His lips convey urgency when they finally meet your own. His body is so warm, taunt. You're presently surprised how well those suits hide muscles. He picks you, and you smile into the kiss. It seems there were still a few things you didn’t truly know about Harrison Wells.

After what feels like an eternity of desperate kisses, he pulls away. Your thumb traces his lower lip, and you remove his glasses. His breath is a bit labored. Those eyes glimmer.

“Would you..like to go on a date?”

This man is so helplessly adorable.

“Maybe later.” You whisper. Your fingers slip into his dark locs, and you pull him back in for a kiss.

#time travel #timelesswells #care #fluff #acceptance #understanding #trust #friends #lovers #new relationship #new beginnings #ccpd #powers #humor #admitting feelings #harrisonxreader #harrison wells #starlabs #foolsinlove

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archived-junkissed · 2 years ago

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for the made up fic title thing: what about…. “such haunted halls we walk” 👀

or if you want something silly: “i put the ‘ass’ in ‘astrophysics’” ddssfhhgdhjfh

HELPMNKJDFSN 😭 i'll put this under a cut bc both of them got kinda long hehe

also fair warning the first one is soo sad pure angst there is not a hint of happiness skdgjfs skip to the second divider if you don't want to read it

send me a title and i'll tell you what i would write for it!

ooh i really like the first one!! i'm thinking a historical au. some kind of period piece a la jane austen featuring vernon as mr. darcy and it's super angsty, kinda like a cautionary tale about life and love and loss. it's told in a series of flashbacks as he walks down a hallway in a house; even though it's daytime outside, the curtains are drawn and it's just dark and dreary, reflecting his mood as he looks at each portrait hung on the wall and thinks about the memories that should be good and happy, but they're tainted as he looks back on them and remembers all the bad things that came afterwards instead. i'm thinking at the very end there's a reveal that's like, you ended up parting ways, not for some big, dramatic reason, but you just fell out of love with him and you didn't want him to feel like his love for you wasn't reciprocated and that he deserved someone who would give back to him all the love he has to give. it was such a clean break that he shouldn't have any reason to be so melancholy (it's not like you cheated on him or ran away with his brother), but it's such an unsatisfying end that he almost wishes you'd had a huge argument and blown up at him; he wishes he would have some reason to be mad at you, to hate you, but you did nothing wrong but give him a chance to experience what it feels like to be loved, because that's something you knew you wouldn't be able give him. so like a theme throughout this one is that in each painting and each memory he looks back on, he's remembering it and wondering when exactly you stopped loving him and why didn't he realize it sooner. ooh actually adding on, maybe he used to be a semi-successful painter and people would hire him to paint their portraits, but after you left he hasn't been able to pick up a brush since, and everything he tries to create comes out dark and tangled and choppy, nothing like the beautiful, bright, joyful paintings he used to make. so not only does he lose someone who brought love and joy into his life, he lost the ability to create art that captures that love and joy. so for the rest of his days all he can do is walk that hallway, staring at the portraits that remind him of better days and wishing he would've known some way to make you love him back.

(tagging @duhnova for this one i want u to suffer cheol thots) okay ass-trophysics is about economics major seungcheol who has to fulfill his lab credits and of course he waited until the last possible second and every other class was waitlisted so the only class available is an analytical physics class. by some miracle the prerequisites for that class are ones he's already taken for his degree and his schedule lines up perfectly for him to take this class. reader is a physics major or something so this class is required for them. you show up bright and early on the first day of the semester and you're getting out your notebook and laptop and stuff and in walks this insanely built frat-looking dude with the fattest juiciest ass you've ever seen in your entire goddamn life, and he plops down in the seat next to you and introduces himself like he isn't the most gorgeous man you've ever seen walk into a math classroom. and the semester goes on and you kinda become friends but not really friends more like classroom friends yk? and you know cheol is smart as hell but for some reason he just doesn't understand this one concept and it sucks because the entire course is pretty much built around understanding this concept. and so you try to help him pass the class and you start becoming closer, and maybe you have a crush on him but you really definitely don't btw. later maybe there's an angsty run-in with an ex girlfriend who makes all these crazy threats and tells you to stay away from him because she knows he'll come back to her, he always does, and you're like "girl i'm literally just helping him learn physics wtf do you want from me please" and she's like "i know what you're REALLY doing... back off" and so you're like. jesus okay fine whatever. so you start making excuses for not being able to help him on the weekends and evenings and days off anymore and he gets pouty and sulky like :( my bffp (best friend from physics) what did i do? and one day he's had enough and he finally manages to corner you at your favorite place to eat on campus and he's like. tell me why you're avoiding me. and you're like "well tell your dumbass girlfriend to stop sending me death threats and i'll help you with your hw again" and he's like "??? what girlfriend i haven't dated anyone since i met you at the beginning of the semester" and so you describe her and cheol lets out the biggest longest most aggravated sigh and he explains that she is his ex but she's literally insane and he has no intention of getting back with her ever and then more drama etc etc but then FINALLY they get things figured out, there's a big moment where he passes his final and you go to hug him but he goes in to kiss you and it's 🧍‍♀️ Awkward and he gets all shy and pouty again and your face is so damn hot and you're like "why did you just try to kiss me" and he has this whole speech about how he really appreciated your help over the semester but he was hoping you would go out with him because he thinks you're really smart and pretty and he just goes on and on about what he likes about you and you're just standing there shocked thinking. this man with the ass of a kardashian is professing his love to me in the middle of a starbucks and a barista is definitely giving me the side eye but oh my god yeah i kinda really do wanna kiss him and then 🫶 kissing happy ending etc etc

#🌃 : june.writes #🌠 : ask games #savventeen #im sorry the vernon one is so angsty PLS i dont know where that came from but i love the concept of an austen vernon #i would never write it bc i cannot do angst ksjdhfsj but i feel like it would be fun to play around with perspective and-#-narration and motifs and the symbolism of color and things like that yk?#also for cheol im an english major skhdgsh i hope its not obvious i have zero understanding of math and science 💀#fun fact ! the bffp thing is a real thing my high school physics teacher used to tell us 😭 mr. berg i miss u dearly #also also if u would like an emoji just lmk!! i see u around occasionally <3 hi i'm june btw

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deadcactuswalking · 2 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 08/04/2023 (Tyler the Creator’s ‘CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST: THE ESTATE SALE’, Jisoo)

We see a third #1 in three weeks, as for the first week, Calvin Harris and Ellie Goulding take the throne on the UK Singles Chart with “Miracle”, becoming Harris’ 11th #1 track and Goulding’s fourth (excluding charity singles). The duo finally reaches the #1 spot after years of top 10 collaborations like “I Need Your Love” and “Outside”, and it’s a damn great song, probably my favourite #1 of the year so far, so I’m far from complaining. With that out of the way, welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

Enough about the #1, let’s get to the real star of the show as we start, as always, with the notable dropouts: songs exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. This was one of those mildly dull and less busy weeks, so there’s not much going on in the dropouts, but we do say farewell to all of Lana Del Rey’s tracks as well as “Love Again” by The Kid LAROI and “LET GO” by Central Cee, neither of which I care about too much.

As for what’s filling in the gaps, well, we have “Lavender Haze” by Taylor Swift returning to #70 and as for our notable gains, we see boosts for “Afraid to Feel” by LF SYSTEM for whatever reason at #64, “Last Night” by Morgan Wallen at #59, “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers because of course at #58, Luke Combs’ cover of “Fast Car” up big off of the debut at #54, “Oh Baby” by Nathan Dawe and Bru-C featuring bshp and Issey Cross at #36, “Here” by Tom Grennan at #31, “Hell n Back” by Bakar at #28, “Can’t Tame Her” by Zara Larsson at #27, “Mother” by Meghan Trainor at #22 (Augh), and some big gains within the top 20, those being “REACT” by Switch Disco featuring Ella Henderson and the late Robert Miles at #15 and “Whistle” by Jax Jones featuring Calum Scott at #14.

This week’s top five on the UK Singles Chart consists of “Calm Down” by Rema at #5, “People” by Libianca reaching a new peak of #4, last week’s chart-topper, “Eyes Closed” by Ed Sheeran, falling down to #3, “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus at #2 and of course, “Miracle” at #1. Now for our batch of new arrivals, which evidences a slightly slower week but still with some songs of interest as we actually span four continents, starting of course with Europe... if we still count as part of that.

NEW ARRIVALS

#75 – “Make Me” – Borai & Denham Audio

Produced by Borai & Denham Audio

I’ll bite: who are Borai & Denham Audio? Well, Borai is a Bristol producer whose real name is the... oddly funny “Boris English” and Denham Audio is a group out of Sheffield, and they both make breakbeat so naturally my ears perked up immediately when I saw this charting, even though it’s a song from 2019 by two seemingly unknown artists. Hell, it did get a 2023 reissue and we’re probably getting more quality from the unknown guys than the A-listers so, is it any good? Well, obviously, I’m going to approve of it in some regard – it samples one of the best dance-pop songs of all time, “U Sure Do” by Strike which in itself is a fascinating mish-mash of samples that already charted. Strike took the vocal from singer Donna Allen’s debut single “Serious”, which hit #8 here in 1986, and the synth from Belgian duo Cubic 22’s 1991 hit “Night in Motion”, which peaked at #15. What was created was a song of childlike euphoria, which used its sparse production to great effect by only choosing what was necessary for the track to go off. It’s an adorable dancefloor filler that ended up out-peaking its source material at #4 in 1995. Strike didn’t last long afterwards but “U Sure Do” is immense, with one of its less regarded aspects perhaps being its more confused verses, with the corny “Let’s do it” vocal, echoing delivery and hypnotic bass. Whilst “Make Me” doesn’t make use of the verses necessarily, it does emulate the deliriousness by placing Allen’s vocal onto a joyful loop not dissimilar to the original before picking it apart in a muddy, treadmill break with racketing drums and the leads playing second-fiddle to a warping bass, whilst that mesmerising loop professing love plays just on top. It takes a song that was pure joy and makes it feel kind of cosmic and alienating, which is an interesting and kind of fitting take for post-pandemic EDM. It’s not the most intricate breakbeat I’ve ever heard, but it matches its thesis pretty excellently and I’m a sucker for pretty much anything that sounds like this so I hope the sample is enough to help this stick around past a couple weeks. It’s pretty solid.

#63 – “SORRY NOT SORRY” – Tyler, the Creator

Produced by Tyler, the Creator

California rapper Tyler, the Rapper released a deluxe version of his 2021 album CALL ME IF YOU GET LOST subtitled THE ESTATE SALE, and honestly, a lot of the tracks should have been on the standard version – if you take six of the best tracks from the standard and six of the bonus tracks, you get a great, mostly concise bombastic and thoughtful rap album, but alas, this isn’t a perfect world so there’s a lot of filler in the standard album that honestly makes the deluxe tracks sound a lot more refreshing, especially this one, which acts as the closer and probably should have always acted as the closer to the album as it sums up a lot of the general mood and thesis of all versions of the album: an unapologetic retrospective on his career thus far that he’s not afraid to brag about but also try and understand in greater context of his progression as a human. It would be pointless to sit here and pick apart this one three-minute verse because all of the sarcasm is balanced with sincerity and whilst it may make him seem unlikeable at times when he talks about social issues, that is a result of a lot of overthinking, which I can be guilty of with Tyler’s music before. Ultimately, the lyrics here are a genuine stream-of-consciousness that finds itself trickling into many different aspects of his life and career, whether it be his relationships, his mother, Odd Future or his signature McLarens, and the most it could ever feel is honest. It can be very difficult as a celebrity to separate those who have your best interests in mind to simply haters in it for self-gain, especially when confronted with the two on a daily basis, and people often being one of the two depending on the day, and “SORRY NOT SORRY” is a deeply personal song for sure, but on a grander scale, feels like an examination of that. It helps that this is a drumless track – not the lack of percussion, but rather the genre – wherein Tyler is rambling over a beautiful, lo-fi sample, with an occasional ramping up of tensions that allows DJ Drama to go really over-the-top in his ad-libbing, which sounds oddly emotive and vulnerable this time around. Fittingly for its subject matter, it’s a warm sample layered with backing vocals and those moments of intensity that push you further from reaching Tyler as a human before you can come back and try and understand... yet the song ends with him blocking you out once again. The way this is accentuated with DJ Drama saying “we really mean it this time” is the cherry on top of this nuanced, complex and openly hypocritical narrative that is compelling throughout and absolutely one of Tyler’s best songs. It’s one verse, with barely any drums and a whole lot of flow switches, so I very much doubt it’ll last past this one week, but it’s an excellent track nonetheless.

#61 – “Cupid” – FIFTY FIFTY

Produced by Sung Il Ahn, Adam von Mentzer, Mac Fellander-Tsai and Louise Udin

K-pop girl group FIFTY FIFTY have had their breakout in the western world with this new single “Cupid”, and it seems to be a more natural streaming push rather than any sales nonsense. If that’s where K-pop is going, then I suppose I’ll have to learn these girls’ names like I did for BLACKPINK – more on them later – but I honestly think don’t think this single will go anywhere far, at least for now. It was brought to my attention before it charted and whilst I prefer it to a lot of K-pop, I still can’t fully enjoy it. This is mostly because of how there are so many nu-disco songs that sound like this out there, and maybe outside of the sound being oversaturated, I’d enjoy this a bit more... but this is potentially too clean and cutesy, even if the harmonies are pretty gorgeous in that chorus. The maturity with this lighter, more relaxed disco sound kind of flies out of the window with the rap verse, so we end up with a song that in either its Korean or English version doesn’t really bring anything interesting to the table despite its competency. I can’t say it’s bubblegum because it’s not all that optimistic about love, but it definitely feels like it’s lacking – it’s kind of like a lounge track, but if it went further into that relaxed route, maybe slowing the tempo, getting rid of the stupid rap verse, we could have something pretty good here but, as is, it’s silently competent.

#60 - “UNAVAILABLE” – Davido featuring Musa Keys

Produced by Magicsticks

Nigerian singer Davido released his newest album Timeless last week, which hit #10 on the albums chart, and the breakout hit from it in the UK seems to be this track featuring South African musician Musa Keys, and surprisingly enough, not the track with Skepta. Did the UK make a good choice with this one? Well, I like the groovy Afrobeats rhythm that picks the pace up a bit as well as the lo-fi samples added in the intro, which I kind of wish continued instead of just acting as producer tags as they would definitely fit amidst the distant group vocals and oddly rubbery, squibby bass – almost reminding me of dubstep – that sounds really interesting and I actually love it given how bass-heavy and rhythm-focused this song is. The hook is a basic call-and-response melody about being unavailable and emotionally stoic, and whilst I wished there was more detail – maybe there is further into the album – it sounds genuine and honestly purposefully isolating with Davido’s Auto-Tune-drenched frustration in the verse transcending language in a really instinctual, guttural way and knowing what Davido’s been through recently with the death of his son, it hits pretty hard, even if I’m not personally a fan. I might be if I check out more after this as I’m really impressed by this. Even our guest, Musa Keys, brings their flailing falsetto harmonies to both a smooth verse and an outro that sounds like hyperventilating. I’m surprised by how much I like this but please do check it out if you haven’t: it’s a vulnerable and infectious track that I’d really like to hear more of – if anyone is willing to lead me towards Davido tracks or Afrobeats songs in general that sound this cold and lonely, it’d be greatly appreciated.

#44 – “VOID” – Melanie Martinez

Produced by Melanie Martinez

Sigh, I’m posting this on Tumblr, Melanie Martinez’s breeding ground, so pray for me, but I still don’t like Melanie at all. I found the focus on childhood trauma remarkably uncomfortable and feigned for her first couple years in music, and the step beyond that with this third record, whilst appreciated, has not led to any more substance in the music, or at least not in the singles as I have yet to hear Martinez’s #2 album PORTALS and I’m honestly not sure if I’ll ever want to. This second single doesn’t change my mind either, with its staccato, doomer indie rock bassline and drums that feel just void – no pun intended – of any emotion or passion. You’d think a song that starts with a verse about panicking, spinning and being controlled by society injecting ideas into you would be less dull and unconcerned with its own plodding rhythm. The inner turmoil in the overlong chorus is interesting to hear considering... well, pretty much everything that regards Melanie Martinez, but it’s not delivered in a way that feels all that interesting or impassioned to me. Out of all things that Melanie has been – uncomfortable, awkward, long-winded and practically comical – boring was not one of them, but I guess that’s now checked off of the list. Again, I’m not a fan – much like “DEATH”, if I were into the lore, I think I’d understand and vibe with this a bit more, but to an outsider, and I understand I very much am on the outside looking in with Melanie, it’s not that worthwhile of a listen. Sorry.

#39 – “DOGTOOTH” – Tyler, the Creator

Produced by Tyler, the Creator

The lead single from Tyler’s deluxe album is much simpler in comparison to “SORRY NOT SORRY”, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worthwhile. The vintage keys sound great under the dirty South beat, especially with those signature semi-spacey synths Tyler adds to a lot of his production, and his delivery is some of his most confident and straightforward, as he inseminates his relationship problems into a lot of careless flexing in a way that’s honestly just fun, as he tells women never to follow advice from anyone with a lean gut. Each drop goes hard, and it’s pretty fun to hear Tyler (and DJ Drama) balance the celebration with Tyler’s confusion regarding his love life and trust issues that may undercut the verses but make the chorus a lot more instinctual and accessible than if it were also fully in flex mode. It’s nothing all that special for Tyler but with the smooth backing vocals, great unique mixing, it’s a type of banger that he doesn’t often deliver and I appreciate it as a lead single, since it’s a more well-constructed throwaway flex than a lot of the standard album, including its own lead single “LUMBERJACK”. Again, I would have loved for these deluxe tracks to end up on the original but alas, we don’t live in a perfect world, and this song is absolutely solid enough.

#38 – “FLOWER” – Jisoo

Produced by 24

Back to Korea we go with Jisoo, the fourth and final member of the K-pop quartet BLACKPINK to release a solo debut single, so maybe it was worth it learning everyone’s names. I’ve liked the solo efforts much more than the group work, mostly because they can be more focused, so I was kind of optimistic with this one and hey, it’s not half-bad. It’s a somewhat childish song in its minimal rhythm and staccato, literal “do-re-mi” verses (she actually says “ABC, do-re-mi”), but I feel like that works best for the pettiness of her shaming her partner for being the reason why their relationship fell apart. It’s the initial bitterness which she brings to an almost condescending pluck and snap beat with those stabs of synth feeling like exposés of this person, even if she’s not particularly biting unless the English translation isn’t doing it any wonders. The harmonies in the build-up are pretty sweet before leading to a vocaloid drop that is very 2017 but in a rather cute, inoffensive way. Most of my issues with the song are also elements of praise, in all honesty, but the conceit of nature that follows Jisoo throughout the track works pretty well, with the line “there was nothing left but the scent of a flower” being a pretty good pre-drop wham line. It’s a bit under-produced, sure, and Jisoo performs well but not uniquely... yet it’s catchy enough and it’s got a good rhythm and lyrical motif so I’m fine with this sticking around (if it does; this is K-pop we’re talking about), even if I’m not quite as impressed as I was with her bandmate ROSÉ.

Conclusion

Honestly, this was a pretty good week, though also one that had a strange fixation on all-caps titles. Even the worst songs were pretty inoffensive and there is some shockingly good stuff here too – Tyler, the Creator obviously runs away with Best of the Week for “SORRY NOT SORRY” and he was close to snabbing the Honourable Mention but I’ll actually make it a tie between “DOGTOOTH” and “UNAVAILABLE” by Davido featuring Musa Keys, which was a pleasant surprise. As for the worst, it should be obvious, with Worst of the Week going to Melanie Martinez for “VOID” even though that’s far from her worst track. It would feel pretty insincere giving a Dishonourable Mention given that these are otherwise decent songs, so I suppose that’s it for our week. Buckle up: Drake’s coming next. Joy. Just delightful. Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week!

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aestheticvoyage2024 · 16 days ago

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Day 360: Wednesday December 25, 2024 - "rest in the arms of love at last, must rest in the arms of love."

Of course it wasn't at all as I would have designed it, and I just let it happen and experienced, fully, the best Christmas of my life. The stuff they write books about.

It started early, when I got maybe the best Christmas present ever to start this magical day. I was awake just before William and without realizing it, that was such a lucky thing. Because moments later, as he stretched his tiny toes down in under my warm leg, he let out a little quiet excited gasp. I got to hear the moment he realized it was Christmas morning. What a fun memory that I'll have for the rest of my life. What a special start to the day. His natural next reaction was to wake up Audrie and start her day the way so many have for the past two weeks - "Mama, is it Christmas?!" I smiled and just soaked that magic in, and reached over and pinched her butt, as she confirmed his hope - it was Christmas. Moments later we were checking the reindeer food, and their little eyes were seeing Santa's gifts for the first time. Free of all my expectations for how that should go, I found a comfy spot on the couch next to Jose and Christmas started to unfold. I reached over and banged him on the back with my paw and said "we should be doing this every year." And we all just kept saying that all day.

We paused for the Christmas treat that I wanted to unwrap - every Christmas Eve Mama Audrie puts in over time and makes special gluten free Cinnamon Rolls for all of us with special Mrs. Clause frosting. And I can attest that when I went to bed after 2 again this Christmas, she was still up working on it in the kitchen. I fell asleep thinking about those cinammon rolls and how good they were going to be and how fun it was going to be with all the Cordovas here too. And I called all that love forward, and those cinnamon rolls were even better than I imagined. What a special part of Christmas these will always be for William. I felt Audrie's love in every bite. And she sat across from me back in the Great Room, right in the middle of the train track all morning and I was just in so much love with her. What a special Christmas and I was feeling all of that finally, when she had me unwrap a present "from William." After I had already decided that I had gotten the greatest present of my entire life, I peeled open that Mixtiles box, to find pictures of our beautiful family and I wept. I let it get and I wept. I let that love in, and I wept. Ive surely never cried opening a present before - and if I had, it wasn't like that. In front of everyone because I was surrounded by people who loved me that would understand and Audrie helped me see, how we'd get those on the wall, and I wept. I felt a lot of love. And it was so overwhelming. That was a really beautiful of my heart busting open that Audrie caught on camera. A very healing Christmas, finally.

The rest of the day passed slowly, with time spent connecting with the girls, and enjoying Aria's snow Cones, seeing William open all his planes, and getting his outdoor jeep charged up. Such a fun morning. I was starving for a good meal as Violet and Audrie clammored away in the kitchen making hollandaise sauce and eggs and the whole bit, just like my first Christmas here, the year Aria was born. Finally Violet's Diner was open for business and I filled my plate with a mash of things covered in the special sauce and took my place at our family's table finally as we sang a really special round of Simple Gifts that touched me so deeply that it almost brought me be to tears and I was so aware of my connection to every other person around that table and I felt all the love and the peace in our home and it was the best Christmas ever. The food was overwhelmingly good. Like it was the first time Id ever eaten. My heart was wide open. I loved the food. I even felt and had a magical healing loving moment with the dog. I learned to lean in, withouth masking and pulled myself back together for another round of gift opening with Audrie's Dad and that felt so freeing and powerful. Then I went to bed, early - before the kids even. And had one final powerful loving moment there on Christmas Day, introducing myself for the first time to Luke. It was great place to finally bring all this and leave it. I went to bed on that powerful note telling myself - "it hurts now, but you'll love this memory" - the best Christmas of my life. I felt all of it. From William's first magical gasp, to now going to bed having experienced Christmas Day in my own skin and I leaned into and felt nothing but love.

My peace begins with me.

I can heal. It won't happen over night - it will happen every day.

And I will never have another lonely holiday.

The best Christmas of my life.

Song: Amos Lee - Holiday Song

Quote:

“The weight of the world is love. Under the burden of solitude, under the burden of dissatisfaction the weight, the weight we carry is love. Who can deny? In dreams it touches the body, in thought constructs a miracle, in imagination anguishes till born in human— looks out of the heart burning with purity— for the burden of life is love, but we carry the weight wearily, and so must rest in the arms of love at last, must rest in the arms of love. No rest without love, no sleep without dreams of love— be mad or chill obsessed with angels or machines, the final wish is love —cannot be bitter, cannot deny, cannot withhold if denied: the weight is too heavy —must give for no return as thought is given in solitude in all the excellence of its excess. The warm bodies shine together in the darkness, the hand moves to the center of the flesh, the skin trembles in happiness and the soul comes joyful to the eye— yes, yes, that's what I wanted, I always wanted, I always wanted, to return to the body where I was born.”

― Allen Ginsberg

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