#jounarlism

[esteemedestbastard]

personal under the cut

Gotta get this off my chest. And rather than making some word document that’ll just end up in the sea of similar files, I’mma put it here. Cuz who can stop me?

o.O.o

I’m no stranger to mourning.

I’ve buried a LOT of people. Like, A LOT. And when you have death come around so frequent when you’re young, you tend to normalize that shit faster than your American peers, I can tell you that.

So I’m not scared of death - mine or loved ones. All life is change. Death is the biggest change of all. It’s not about non-existence, it’s about CHANGE. We want to think that we’re special individuals and not part of the cycle, but that’s just our egos wanting to personalize it. Death for us is no different than a tree stump turning into a bug and mushroom home.

Not to mention just how many near-death experiences I’ve had. It’s honestly a wonder how I survived a completely unsupervised childhood. *cue catra voice* “It’d be funny if it wasn’t such a terrible sentence.”

So when you grew up with those you were closest to dying frequently, had multiple near death experiences, as well as some other death shit that I’m not going to put on the internet... you develop a relationship with grief whether you care to or not.

And now, at 27, I’m am dealing with the first case of a person close to me dying while I am in possession of an adult brain. Sure, I’ve known multiple people that have died, but this is the first person I was close to.

It’s so DIFFERENT for me this time. In the past, I would get racked with guilt, shame, and anger. Things I should’ve said. Things I could’ve done better. All the little things that were my fault. All the ways I or the world mistreated them. The pain and frustration of being left behind to deal with this onslaught of feelings.

Blame it on my Healing Jounrey, multiple years of thearpy, years of jounarling and self reflection, or hell even just maturity, but I’m past that now. Any and all guilt or shame is just me wanting things to be my fault, and thusly in my control. Because if it’s in my control, it’s a lot less scary and it makes a lot more sense.

But the truth is more simple than that. I have no say in the actions of others - even if I wanted to, I don’t. People create their own narriatives and carve their own futures. I can be a light for someone. Or, more accurately (or perhaps just how I like to see it), I can show someone not to fear the dark. But I still can’t make them heal, make them grow, or even help them when they don’t want help.

So how the hell do people deal with grief like this?!?!

When there’s no obstacle to overcome. No anger to propell you forward. Nothing to direct yourself towards... you’re just sort of forced to sit with your saddness.

I’ve buried so many people. I can barely remember a time when I wasn’t aware of the pain of loss. And it never goes away, ya know? It eventually softens into somemore more sweet than bitter. Or the pain becomes so natural that it doesn’t even hurt.

You don’t move on from trauma, you grow around it. You don’t move on from loss, you grow through it.

I wonder what sort of person I’ll be when I’m down growing through this.

Until then. I guess I just sit with this. Sit with the saddness. Miss my friend and just sit with that.

[jessspeaks]

For the last two years fashion shows have been almost exclusively virtual events. In the fashion and entertainment industry the show must always go on. Designers, models, and other members of the industry have made many sacrifices and have had to adapt to strict COVID-19 policies to keep the beast of fashion fed.

This year, Governor Andrew M. Cuomo and the New York State Department of Health issued strict guidelines welcoming back New York Fashion Week (NYFW) for the Spring and Summer season for 2022, also referred to as SS22. According to governer.ny.gov all vendors must keep guest counts at or below 50 people and operate at 50 percent of the maximum capacity approved for the venue; social distancing must be observed by all participants, as well as temperature checks before entry. Anyone involved in NYFW must also keep to travel advisories, as well as regular diagnostic testing and screening showing negative COVID-19 results. Finally, face coverings must be worn at all times during events.

[glasscoloredeyes]

How Long Have I’ve been gone?

Happy New Year Everyone! Obviously Im hella late but that’s ok. I was going to go through my feed until the last post I could remember but it was taking so long that I completely felt like I wouldn't get t the end. Also Tumblr is a delicate bitch because unless it’s the only thing on my computer it freezes.  Today was a fucking conundrum. I interacted with more people today than I probably did all of 2020 minus my roommates. The person I visited I feel is in a emotional manipulative relationship to the point where they want to be around their abusers either than are they lack nuance.  I’m not in the right place emotional or financially to REALLY help her so I simply left her with a open invitation to reach out to me when she wanted. I hope that he doesn't stop her from doing such.  I also notice my teeth are incredibly bad. I just detected a horribly large cavity. I was told I had advance gingivitis and honestly if its not yellowing or the softening of the gumbs there full on cracks and it is very very concerning. Im hoping at can get a deep cleaning ad fillings especially for my front ones.  My teeth are a priority but I must save up and get a revenue and honestly ....that also another issuse. I have a clear idea of a profession that I want however  also not sure if i should used YouTube to do such. Like there just something about working with YouTube that seems fickle and agonizing because of its algorithm at the same ...I’ve ALWAYS said that i wanted to do my work in BULK and then not have to worry and just stretch what money I attain at least until I buy my way out of society. It’s ....definitely a problem...But lets hope i cant get my teeth fix at least. if i can do that i can handle my other issues lmao. Sorry this wasn't very witchy hopefully next time my post will be 

[dreamofjoys]

𝗔𝗕𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗠𝗘

♡ my name is rosaline! you may call me rosa for short

♡ im 21 years old (2003), my birthday is on 18 july (cancer), im an infp-t

♡ i actually started writing fanfics since 2015, but then stopped for a long time hehe but im back now! this blog started at 12 march 2022

♡ my english and vocab is kinda bad :( also im a dry texter, so i apologise in advance if i come off as rude or something! i don't have any ill intention towards anyone

♡ the reason why i started this blog is cause i love to fantasize and day dream! but im quite shy to openly share them to the people that i know personally so i hope to be able to share my ideas here and connect with people who have the same interest as me!

♡ i hope my readers + followers enjoy the content that i post. i may not be as good as others but i hope to improve and be better

♡ my hobbies?

playing games such as twisted wonderland, obey me, tears of themis, genshin impact, wuthering waves, honkai star rail, ikemen pri, ikemen villains and etc. watching animes such as spy x family, demon slayer, jujutsu kaisen. doing art and crafts such as jounarling! i used to do glass painting ~ ! .i love going to cafes just to sit and chill (i mostly write my fics there) im more of an indoor person but i still go out everyday, preferring to go calm and quiet places alone

[prettyvixenavenue]

hey, i always wanted to start a self care page like yours and even start some self care for myself because i really believe that it was something that I am living to do! but i just don't have what i need to do what I want yet or the confidence that it will take me somewhere! what would you do? I'm 15 btw!!

aw so young! but babes you have so much time to achieve everything you want to do for yourself, find yourself and your confidence! I say go for it with making that self care page, that could be your very first step to your self care journey. you have to believe that you can do anything, the hardest step is actually taking the first step in what you want to do. self care tips, i say start small and work you way up since you don’t have what you need but you will be able to get it for yourself eventually!

mini tips: 🦋

read self care books, books that can help you mentally, fun books—anything you find interesting and inspirational really.

do yoga, meditate, jounarling or a scrapbook: full of pictures of things you want to try, have, accomplishments, letter to yourself, feelings, and thoughts.

keep your nails and toes up even if you have to paint them yourself, keep your natural hair or styles on point, keep cute jewelry pieces (necklaces, hoops or shaply studs, anklets), lashes, gloss and shades. (all i wore at 15 was lashes, gloss, & eyeliner also only thing i was allowed to wear lol)

plan outtings with your friends, if not already-get into skincare: masks, scrubs, body butters, lip balms, sunscreen, girly perfumes! anything that works best.

drink teas, healthy juices, & lots of water!

do what you want not because you see others doing it too, take things day by day and don’t be hard on yourself.

[mychemicalficrecs]

please rec some omegaverse frerard with alpha frank and omega gee? :)

Hi Nonny!

I spend some time on the Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics tag for you and this is what I found!

Alpha Frank/Omega Gerard

Walk This World Alone by Razor_to_the_rosary, 4k [WIP], Mature. Gerard is an omega, and is naturally submissive. Sometimes it's a curse. In High school, he is vunrable as it is, but after shifting excetera, he finds his mate. However, Gerard does not feel ready to be with his mate, and after a ton of pain, confusion and hormones, he faces his mate. Frank Iero, an alpha.

A Cure For Everything by jet6black6feeling6, 2k, Explicit. Alpha Frank is a doctor at an omega heat clinic. PWP

Shape Shift With Me by jet6black6feeling6, 8k, Explicit. Gerard is an omega with something to prove. But it comes at a steep price. And Frank is the only one who is there to pull him out of trouble when his plans backfire.

I didn't want this... until I met you. by Nixy_x, 90k, Explicit. Gerard hated being the most wanted Omega at school, he was fed up with it all. There was nothing special about him he just wanted the Alphas to leave him alone. He didn't want this... But when a new Alpha starts school and turns his whole world upside down he starts thinking that maybe he does want it after all...

Assistance Required by X_WantedCriminal_X, 15k [WIP], Explicit. Frank Iero knew the struggles of being an Omega even though he wasn’t one himself.

The day that starts it all by DisenchantedHalo (Morgawse), 6k, Explicit. Gerard has been so caught in the midst of a break-up and the stress of wanting to please the new editor-in-chief of the magazine he works for that he forgot to renew his heat suppressants. When Mikey offers to set him up with one of the line of android alphas to help Gerard through the heat, he jumps at the chance. So when a strikingly handsome alpha who calls himself Frank turns up at Gerard's door, he assumes it the android alpha. But is it? Who cares? Not Gerard, until Ray turns up with a care package and asks why Gerard didn't let the android in. Then he's left wondering who Frank is.

Omegaverse Frerard by frnkxo, 26k, Explicit, Teen And Up Audiences. Gerard goes into heat, and despite being taught better, thinks it's a good idea to let Frank help him out. It won't mean anything other than a quick fuck to help relieve him of his heat. That is, until Frank accidentally knots and claims him.

Take a Bite of My Heart Tonight by BasementVampire, 1k, Explicit. "Make me yours, forever?" Or, Gerard and Frank finally bond.

We Came To Fuck by MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance, 5k, Not Rated. Frank is an Alpha and part of a very exclusive club designed for Alphas and Omegas to satisfy their basic instincts... and kinks are encouraged. Frank's tired of just playing around though, he's on the hunt for his very own Omega.

You're Not In This Alone by MyChemicalFallOutBoyRomance, 4k, Not Rated. Alpha Frank and Omega Gerard are best friends, living together while at college. Frank wakes up feeling rough and Gerard looks after him. It's just some fluff... Omegaverse fluff.

Forest Flowers by revengera, 18k [WIP], Explicit. Gerard had always loved flowers, the fascination of the meanings and the colours always bought him to peace with himself. Going out into the woods to see the flowers always kept him clam although he had made a mistake, being unable to go back into the forest during the day, instead he opted to go at night, hoping that the darkness would give him some form of cover from them.

Omega by momiji_neyuki, 36k, Explicit. ”This year is going to be hell Ray. I don’t even want to think about all the new Alphas that will be starting. Mikey used to protect me, but now even he joins them in abusing me.””Gee, stop calling it that. You’re an Omega…it’s just what you deal with.” ”Why did I even have to be born?”

Birthday suit by orphan_account, 2k, Explicit. It's Gerard's birthday and Frank wants to make things real special

Omegas Are Whores by frnkxo, 2k, Explicit. Frank confronts Gerard about his promiscuous behavior in the locker room after school.

Sign My Heart Away by loganmai, 65k [WIP], Explicit. When Frank, an alpha, agrees to sign the papers for his marriage to a stranger, he doesn't know quite what to expect. But when his new omega husband Gerard turns up on his doorstep with a walking stick and a whole truckload of baggage, Frank knows his life is about to get a whole lot more interesting.

All My Life by orphan_account, 6k, Explicit. Gerard and Frank have known each other their whole lives. Now they're starting a new one together

In the Heat of the Moment by FrankIeroAndTears, 2k, Explicit. It's not specifically said that they are werewolves, but this is an In Heat fic so it is implied! Gerard Way experiences his first heat, and sends his boss Mr. Iero into an early one.

A Whimper by GrandHighPriestess, 2k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank loved Gerard’s imagination, his spirit, and… his scent? He definitely loved that

Under Your Spell by bellachanmustdie, 6k, Explicit. Frank accidentally gave Gerard a mating bite and now the young alpha is in trouble.

The Click by orphan_account, 2k, Explicit. Gerard was avoiding Frank, that he knew. Why, however, is the question.

Face the Fire by bellachanmustdie, 1k, General Audiences. Five times that alpha Frank almost figured out Gerard is his destined omega and one time he finally found out.

With Words I Thought I'd Never Speak by thePetetoherPatrick, 3k, Explicit. Something about Gerard just sets him off, brings out that Alpha mentality of wanting to claim him. There were several problems with that though. Firstly, Frank was so far in the closet he was having tea with Mr. Tumnus on a daily basis.

you have to take me right now by orphan_account, 844 words, Teen And Up Audiences. The first time Frank and Gerard have sex they're both seventeen and they're supposed to be studying for the math test that's next week. Or the one where Frank is aromantic and Gerard is gray aromantic and they make it work.

Omegaverse by Pretty_Odd, 10k, Not Rated, Teen And Up Audiences. It wasn’t Gerard’s fault that he had been born as an omega. It certainly wasn’t his fault that his little brother Mikey was the head alpha of the pack, but it was Mikey’s fault that he had been given the lowest ranking in the pack.

eyes like glowing embers by bellachanmustdie, 9k, Explicit. The young alpha swore not to find his omega. It turns out it is harder to keep his promise not when his destined omega is working inside the company that he owns…

Omegaverse by lukesdaydreams, 6k [WIP], Explicit. a series of various frerard fic taking place in omegaverse (werewolf au)

omegaverse frerard by fsalisbb, 4k, Not Rated, Explicit. It’s Gerard’s first time going into a heat, and Frank is the only one there to help.

Familiar Scent by creakybones, 7k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank is on his way to his friend Mikey's house, when he's suddenly struck with a captivating scent. One that also smells a little familiar...

Day Four; Masturbation - Frerard by LeatherlipsIero, 617 words, Mature. Gerard's finally finished with heat after days of being fucked by his mate, alpha Frank, and as good as it has been, he's glad it's over- he thought.

My Werewolf Life (Or Stupid Therapist Gave Me This Jounarl To Write In) By Gerard Way by orphan_account, 8k [WIP], Mature. So me and the crazy plot bunnies thought: What if Gerard was a teenage werewolf and was given a journal to write in about his life, everything. Well this was born.: Gerard doesn't really have it easy growing up as a secret gay werewolf and being in love with your straight friend who is a vampire/demon. Which is frown on as you will see with Gerard's adventures. So sit back and enjoy the ride of Gerard's life and him trying to deal with everything he faces.

Half the Battle by mwestbelle, 2k, Explicit. People tend to assume Gerard is an alpha. Frank knows better.

[xaiofan-blog]

The Music of the Shroud

⠠⠮⠀⠍⠥⠎⠊⠉⠀⠷⠀⠠⠮⠀⠠⠩⠗|⠙

*Raised dots are pushed through thick paper. Her journals are written in Braille. Scattered thoughts, sometimes disjointed*

Sometimes I wonder what people see. If their vision of the world is somehow fuller and more honest than the blankness of my own? I have a vague memory what summer looks like in a wash of sunlight with colors blurred. A memory that is no longer a point of reference to my world, merely an echo that now laces into what I see now. Then I wonder if they can ever see what I see? Can they hear what I hear? I am starting to think not.

Here in the Shroud, I hear many people talking about their adventures in the forest. I admit I enjoy it a lot. People talking about hunting animals. Others talking about the elements dancing that day. Many people talk about Ul’dah, a city that you can get to if you travel south enough, or take an airship.

Airships..

I would love to take an airship someday. They sound pretty interesting. The grind of metal, flapping of canvas, ropes humming in the wind. To soar in the clouds, high above everything. What an adventure that must be! Someday,  maybe.

For now, I sit here, at the base of the bridge, carving out a new flute, and listening. Which brings me back to my question and that answer. If these people could hear what I hear, how could the say the things they say? Especially when they think no one is listening? I suppose that is one flaw of speaking around me. I am always listening. What I hear though, seems to be a very different song than they do. It’s why my flutes do so well I suppose. Each one of them made with a song in mind. My flute, for instance, is made from the music of The Shroud.

The sound of sunlight hitting the leaves as they turn to meet it. The drops of dew sliding down the tall grass to fall into the streams below.The ripple of water as it must flow over pebbles and around stones. The squeak of marmots waking up and the chatter of birds as they begin to sing. One of the reasons I know people don’t hear it like me is because on the off chance someone does see me, they usually ask the same questions.

How do you know when its night time?

How are you wearing matching clothes?

How come your eyes aren’t pale if you’re blind?

I don’t mind answering them, people are curious. Even I am curious. Maybe more so than they are. I have more questions about -everything- then I think I will ever get answers for. So I don’t mind. I do, however, feel bad for them.

I wonder.

Is the song different in Ul’dah?

[soundtrack-for-lovers]

Your Arthur jounarl looks really good!

Thank you!! Pleasantly surprised with how well it's coming along!

[sulpher]

I need to stop stealing the down report

It's a very important report (like a written catalogue of system we work on but if the system completely went down ).

It's about 300 pages . And we print it out every shift so that's 900 pages a day or 6200 pages a week and at the end of our shift .....we throw it out. Yup. We print for "precautions " but theow it out and it makes me absolutely livid -So I steal.

My shift manager and assistant manager have a really bad tendency of following me in the small work room. When they notice i was taking the report and putting it on the back table they confronted me so i told them I take it home and recycled it into jounarls

"Well don't do that you don't want any trouble " ........mmmhhmm nah. Unless confronted by the hotel owner imma keep at it . It's not worth losing my job over but really ....i don't care enough about the numbers of this business I just dont think it's fair to waste that much paper

[glamoroussource]

cobie smulders for sbjct jounarl by christian hogstedt

[netcomsn]

Trafic de migrants à l'AIBD: 102 faux passeports saisis, un policier et un agent d'Air Sénégal arrêtés

Trafic de migrants à l’AIBD: 102 faux passeports saisis, un policier et un agent d’Air Sénégal arrêtés

Gros coup de filet de la gendarmerie. Ce week-end, une opération d’envergure a permis de démanteler un vaste réseau de trafic de migrants à l’Aéroport International Blaise Diagne de Dakar. Un contrôleur d’Air Sénégal et un policier sont au cœur du scandale.  Selon le Jounarl Libération qui livre cette information,  Antoine Khouma Diène, Isaac Thomas Ndiaye, contrôleur à Air Sénégal, et le…

[felipealls]

Cadernos pautado com ou sem espiral, Sketchbook liso com ou sem espiral, Bullet Jounarl, Agenda Diária, Planner Semanal e Planner Mensal... nossos cadernos em todos os formatos possíveis... disponíveis na loja (link na bio ou aqui: https://www.colab55.com/@joaobruxao/sketchbooks)

[glasscoloredeyes]

Journal Entry: A lesson paid and not the same

I slept all day again. Partly from my own incompetence to get off tumblr and because my neighbor below me start their usual romping with loud music around 3 am. I had somewhere to go but to no one surprise i was to exhausted and at   to no one surprise i didn't wake up until like ....6 pm  I was suppose to be meeting family and when I didn't show it up a woman individual they just assume the worst and contact everyone including my exboyfriend. But I'm awake and  in the dark because something about writing against dim light with the rest of your world cover in darkness unaware of the problems and dangers...is really fucking comforting but thats not what this post is about. also  im trying my VERY hardest to not bounce between webpages especially because although i blocked YouTube on my phone is not block on this computer  i paid 600 to end a friendship today. it went a little something like this . an much older man someone who i only know because we share a particular hobby and had the pleasure to work with comes out of no where and ask me for 200 he promises he will return it in 24 hours with more and i’m like i get 300 in unemployment a week. so for a friend i thought i could do this because  i would want someone to do this for me. so i do it and i think everything is ok but immediately he ask for more and i think maybe its an emergency even though my gut reaction said fuck this man dont do it after some more confusing banter i sent an additional 400 dollars and i thought everything was cool speed forward to me passing out for 4 to 5 hours and i get i think 3 to 6 missed called asking for money. at this point i am livid . there no way you magically mess up the price of whatever youre doing twice. if you're child and god forbid was kidnapped call the police because therye messy ass kidnappers and its really fuck up to expect one person to have money i even told him i didnt even have more money and he was like “ just send more just send more “ eventually told him to never contact me again because again its not about the money its about the respect and he could NEVER give me back the respect i had for him. its lost. he had the audacity to eb like thank you sweetie because again fuck the fact im angry and exhausted  and you literally demanded as much money out of me.  i wanted to unblock it just so i could tell him to fuck off but if i ever have to used it i know for a fact that will ne my undoing. because men can do whatever they want to you as a women body individual but you have to be the bigger person even tho you ALWAYS will be consider lesser than  its not about the money...its about the respect and now that he given me a full recipt to never respect him again i can get my moeny in 2 weeks and never have to deal with him.  i hope whatever he was doing was worth the blackmail the other part of this jounarl entry was apparently some skinny genderfluid individual telling woman that mansplaining is inherently sexist because its based off of gender. no its something that only men can do and when a women say that a man is mansplaining when he not that women is simply lying. telling me i cant tell you that what you did i was think less of me or over talk me becuase of my presenting gender - is sexist. if i say something that you didnt do and you can prove it and i say it doesnt matter becuase youre  a man is sexist but telling you you are mansplaining - is not sexist this same person then preceeded to say something misogynist and misandrist are the same...and they're just not. theyre are equally horrible but they hit in COMPLETELY different ways. the hatred of men usually ends with women ignorging excluding and living without men. the hatresd of woman usually result in the punishment death and beratement of women. yes are thier people out thier that hate men so much that it could also escalated to death and torture of men absolutely but that is not common. its horrible but its not common and it not the same.  whenever i hear someone saying this is sounds like teh alm of sexism and its just gross  well whatever. my mange arrived today and i feel alot better. ive now had 3 men steal alrge amounts of money and claim to care or berated me for it. i cant wait til i leave. now im off  to craigslist list to look for some fashion lamp so i can actually work in warm lighting instead of ....nah poshmark

[veganramengirleli]

Tmm makes 21 days of me jounarling 🥳

[circle-and-line]

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[its-anamoss-blog]

RIS Mastery Jounarl

My three goals for RIS were: to learn how to research and use data in my articles, learn how to conduct better interviews, and learn how to create purposeful infographics.  I didn’t know what to expect from reading the class description but I was excited to learn how to research. I feel like that was a skill that I needed to brush up on.

 I believe that learning how to create infographics will help with my career. This class gave me an outline of how to create certain infographics for my data. With creating infographics, I can keep my audience attention and still present insightful information that is needed. I learned little things like making sure I had a headline for my infographic or making sure I had a credit under the graphics. I believe learning how to properly create infographics will help my articles in the future.  

 The next skill that I learned that would help with my career is how to use public records and how to identify what is a public record and what isn’t. I really enjoyed looking up court cases for one of my articles. I believe that using public records can present an unbiased view of information because I am just reporting the facts rather than emotion.

 The last thing I learned in this class that will help me in the future was to read all the instructions. I know that sounds silly, but I have the habit of skim reading. Just trying to find the information I need without paying attention. I found myself doing this with our tutorials and weekly class session. I would skip ahead to the information I needed and realized that I missed some information that I could have used in the middle. In our instructions every week, I would only read the bullet points instead of reading the whole document. I would miss points on silly things because I didn’t read everything. Learning how to slow down and make sure I went over everything will help in my career and impress a future employer.