#joshua is in grade school. grade 2

[junkissed]

leaning on the everlasting arms

member — childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader genre — angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au word count — 10.3k (my first fic over 10k wowie!!) synopsis — as kids growing up in the same church, you and joshua were inseperable, until you got to an age where it was considered immoral for girls and boys to be friends. when you find him again just before graduation, he's different than you remember; but so are you. content warnings — female reader, she/her, reader is implied to be smaller (i'm sorry), discussion of gender roles & religion, no religion is mentioned by name but it's heavily implied to be a form of christianity, reader & shua are both seniors in college, reader wears skirts/dresses but not really by choice, this whole thing is pretty blasphemous oops smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, virgin!joshua x virgin!reader, mutual masturbation, phone sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hints of a voice kink, size kink, praise, begging, really vanilla missionary but it's hot, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, angel) notes — although i am no longer religious, this is partially based off of my own experiences with the extremely traditional christian church i was raised in. however, please keep in mind that this is fiction and does not reflect my beliefs nor joshua's beliefs so don't take the plot too seriously. this piece is not meant to discuss whether certain religions are "right" or "wrong" so please do not comment/send me asks trying to start a debate! we're all just here for a little sexy time with shua it's not that deep note #2 — for those who aren't familiar, the title is the name of a hymn and i thought it was funny bc joshua big sexy arms hehehe

as far back as you could remember, joshua was your closest friend.

his father was the pastor of the church your family went to, and as luck would have it you were both in the same grade, so it wasn’t long before you became inseparable. you saw him at minimum three times a week: sunday morning, sunday evening, wednesday evening.

you spent most of your childhood together. sitting next to each other at every service, sharing your bibles with each other whenever one of you left them at home, sneaking donuts away from the box at the table outside the sermon hall that was supposed to only be for the adults.

you did everything together, and told each other everything. that is, until you reached middle school. boys and girls weren’t allowed to sit in the same services anymore, and you had to stay in separate buildings for every church camp and conference. 

the worst part was you didn’t even understand why. what did they think you were gonna do with him? kiss him? no amount of money in the world could get you to do that! joshua was your best friend. who else were you supposed to climb trees and build forts and sneak donuts with? kissing was stupid.

when you asked your mom about it, she told you the same thing everyone else did: about how men of god had a different path and needed to hear different messages in order to grow up to lead their own churches one day. you thought it was stupid. what if a woman wanted to lead a church, why are men the ones that have to do it? but she would just shake her head and tell you it's just the way things work in the church, you'll understand when you're older.

you were allowed near him less and less until the only time you were able to see him was at the after-service brunch with his family, and even then that began to happen less and less as the years went on.

and of course it was church rules, so there was no arguing with them because that would mean arguing with god, and who were you to question his authority? there would be no special exception for you, no matter how much you protested to your mom that you would never, ever think about joshua like that. in a fit of anger one day you blew up at her, shouting that she had had friends of the opposite gender when she was in high school, so why couldn’t you? it wasn’t fair. but she had just sighed and stared out the window, clearly ending the conversation. many years passed before she finally told you about her life before she came to church, recalling all the times she had been hurt by men she had loved and trusted. you understood then why she had wanted to keep you sheltered and safe, but you still didn’t agree. but then again, if you had been allowed to do what you wanted then maybe things would never have ended up the way they did. perhaps you have her to thank.

back then, all you could do was hold on to the little time you had with him until eventually you stopped seeing him altogether. 

more summers passed and you started spending all of your time memorizing bible verses with your fellow “women of christ”, missing the way you used to spend your time with your best friend.

but then you went off to bible college like had always been planned for you, and everything changed. instead of continuing to follow the strict schedule that was laid out for you, you finally got a little taste of freedom, and you realized what you’d been missing all this time. everything that you’d been taught was sinful, evil, wicked, was what brought you more pleasure than you’d ever known was possible.

you still had to pretend to be a good girl for the people around you, who, for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, were still dedicated to their life of purity. or at least they acted like it. maybe everyone was secretly just like you, hiding their sins behind a friendly smile and a firm handshake every sunday morning.

you weren’t hurting anyone with the things you did in private, and the feeling of rebellion was a kind of satisfaction you didn’t know you were allowed to feel. you were an adult, making your own choices now and facing whatever consequences that came with them.

there was only one consequence. for some reason, all the impure thoughts you had always centered around joshua. no matter what dirty books you read or videos you watched, the man you always pictured giving it to you was joshua.

you hated that after all these years, everything still came back to him. you fought it, tried imagining actors or celebrities in his place instead; characters from your books and movies and shows, anyone but him. you wanted to save whatever memories you had left of him, think of him in a good light like you used to when you were younger, but the way he plagued your mind was worse than the ones in the book of exodus.

but now, in your final year of college, you thought you had finally gotten yourself under control.

that is, until you were leaving one of your bible lectures and all the control you’d convinced yourself that you had crumbled away in mere seconds when you saw a startlingly familiar face standing by the door. a face you hadn’t seen in far too long. 

“joshua?”

“hey,” he says with a smile, like no time has passed at all. like it’s been hours since you’ve seen each other, not years. 

there are so many things you want to say, so many things you want to ask him, but you’re frozen in place. why is he here? where has he been? how did he find you again?

“it’s been a while,” he says with an awkward laugh when you don’t say anything.

you nod, still in a daze. “yeah. quite a while.”

he smiles. “well, anyway, i’ve got a meeting to go to in a bit, but… i just wanted to see you.”

“oh,” you say. what else is there to say? what can you say to make up for the years lost that you’ll never get back?

he looks at his watch, the conversation clearly coming to an end.

“can i give you my phone number?” he says. a deep shade of pink creeps into his cheeks but he either doesn’t notice or purposely doesn’t acknowledge it. “maybe we can talk sometime, catch up.”

“i– yeah,” you manage. god, it’s so good seeing him again. “yeah, that would be really nice.”

you’ve given up on homework for the night, spending your entire afternoon in a daze since you ran into joshua.

so many years, yet you still can’t get his smile out of your head.

you close your eyes, hand dipping below the waistband of your pajama pants automatically. it’s frightening how easily you’re able to bring up a picture of him in your mind, so much clearer than before now that you’ve seen what he looks like all grown up.

and grown up, he has. you had been too stunned to get a good look at him while he was in front of you, but the way he’d changed was immediately apparent and the image in your brain now feels almost unreal. 

his hair was a little longer and a little darker, and he was much taller, with broad shoulders that looked way too perfect in a suit jacket. but his face hadn’t changed a bit. maybe his jaw was a little bit sharper and his smile lines were a little bit deeper, but his eyes were the same ones you had always known. 

your hand slips lower and lower until you’re gently running the tips of your fingers over the panel of your underwear covering your pussy, moaning quietly when you feel how wet you are already.

no wonder it’s been so hard for you to focus all day. you’ve been too busy pushing away thoughts of joshua burying his fingers in your tight, wet cunt, cooing about how good you’re being for him and how long he’s waited for you.

automatically you feel your other hand grabbing for your phone, desperate to hear his voice again. you hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him earlier, but you feel like you’ll go crazy if you don’t hear him while you’re in this state. so needy for him and only him, and he doesn’t even know it.

your fingers shake as you press the buttons, knowing you’re about to get yourself into a whole world of trouble but not being able to stop yourself.

“hey.” he answers on the second ring. his tone is deep and husky, and your breath catches in your throat for a second, not used to hearing him talk like that; the last time you heard his voice was long before puberty, and you’re still navigating how to talk to this older, sexier joshua.

your first thought is to wonder if his morning voice sounds equally as sexy, but you’re immediately pushing it out of your head when you hear what sounds like him stifling a yawn.

“sorry, did i wake you? it– it’s not important,” you start, ashamed of how needy you are that you’d call him in the middle of the damn night, unprovoked, like some kind of bible group booty call.

the regret is already starting to set in. he probably hasn’t changed as much as you've built him up in your mind, probably still the obedient gentleman he was before. he’s probably already well on his way to being the head of a church, so of course he wouldn’t be thinking about you like that—

“no. it’s fine,” he says, interrupting your thoughts. “always have time for you, sweetheart. what’s up?”

you shove down the butterflies that flutter up in your stomach at the name he calls you, a nickname he always called you when you were kids because he was taught it was always polite to talk sweet to a lady. 

except it feels so much different now. talking sweet to a lady as kids was easy, innocent. but one wrong word now would completely change the meaning behind those pretty words of his, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it.

“i… just– it’s been so long, joshie,” you whisper, surprised at the sudden feeling of tears springing up behind your eyes. you didn’t mean for this to happen— you didn’t mean for any of it to happen. not back then, and certainly not now.

he lets the line go quiet, finally sighing into the phone after a long pause. “i missed you… so much.” he murmurs your name, and the way the rumble in his voice goes straight through you immediately reminds you why you called him in the first place.

your free hand toys with the hem of your underwear again, fighting to keep down the whimper that threatens to escape you. “missed you too,” you breathe out. god, you can’t believe you’re doing this. but for the first time in years, the man you’ve been picturing in your head is right here with you, fulfilling some of your fantasies that you never thought could ever come true.

somewhere deep in your stomach you feel guilty about it, getting off to the thought of him and he doesn’t even know it. would he want to know? would he be okay with it? would he hate you forever if he knew?

he clears his throat, snapping you back to attention and you realize you must’ve been silent for a while, thinking.

“um, so, what are you doing?” you ask, trying to seem casual, but it comes out as anything but. nobody calls anyone this late at night and asks what they’re doing without having a dirty reason for doing so. 

all you can do is hope he’s either too innocent to pick up on it, or that he doesn’t believe you’re the type of person who would call for something like that. you wonder if he still thinks of you as that perfect little obedient church girl he grew up with.

“nothing, just–working on… stuff,” he replies awkwardly. clearly he doesn’t want to go into detail about what he’s doing, and you’re already afraid you’ve interrupted his sleep; you’re mentally kicking yourself for all the blunders you’ve made, and you haven’t even been on the phone for five minutes.

“what are you doing?” he asks back, and you freeze, trying to come up with some excuse, anything. fuck, think of something!

“h-homework,” you sputter out, attempting to hide your unconfident answer with a cough.

apparently it works, because he hums in response, the line falling quiet. you hear the rustling of papers on his end, and you press your fingers harder against your cunt, heartbeat racing in your ears.

your fingers brush against your clit a little rougher than you intend, and a little whine escapes your lips, catching you off guard. you slap a hand over your mouth, hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear and he hadn’t been paying attention.

“are you…?” he asks suddenly, and your cheeks flush, caught red-handed in your sinful act.

you clear your throat, praying (both metaphorically and literally) that he doesn’t notice anything off about you. “am i what?”

his silence on the other end of the phone speaks volumes.

“joshua, oh my god, no, i–”

“what did you just say?”

you freeze. “what… did i say?”

when he speaks again, his tone is even. “don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

that nickname again, and now you know he’s doing it on purpose. innocent, pretty words, completely changed in a split second.

you let out a short laugh, scrambling to find a cover. “must’ve forgot then.”

he hums. “i remember you spent a whole month trying to memorize the ten commandments. we must’ve been what, eight or nine? you wouldn’t have forgotten. i may not have seen you since we were kids, but i’ve still known you most of my life.”

“it was an accident, you know how it is. just slips out. of course i remember them all.”

he tsks, and it feels like your heart stops. “did you forget that lying is a sin, too? you’re two for two now, wanna try for a third?”

damn him! damn his good memory and damn his stupid witty comebacks and damn the way he so quickly manages to unravel you.

you scowl and don’t respond to his question, your silence enough of an answer for joshua to know he’s right.

“why did you call me tonight?” he asks calmly.

you answer truthfully this time. “just wanted to hear your voice again. i really did miss you.”

the phone goes quiet again, and for a second you’re afraid he’s hung up, but then you hear him exhale. “it’s late. what are you doing?”

“i’m in bed, josh. don’t worry, father, i’m not staying up past my bedtime.”

he chooses to ignore your remark. “in bed doing what?”

you give him a half-suppressed laugh. “in bed laying down. what else would i be doing?”

“well, with the way you were trying to hide your moans earlier, i would’ve figured you were doing something more exciting. but if you’re just laying down, then i don't want to keep you long, might as well hang up…”

“no!” you squeak out, cutting him off. you swallow, trying to collect yourself as you repeat the word. “no. fine, whatever, you caught me. but– please, stay.” you can hear the plea in your voice and you know you should be embarrassed at how pathetic you sound, but you aren't. the only thing you can think about is joshua, joshua, joshua, and how good it feels to talk to him again.

“i’m here,” he says softly, and you let your eyes close with a sigh, relieved he’s not going to chastise you. but as much as you’ve both changed as you grew up, deep down you knew he wouldn’t. you figure you could do just about anything and he wouldn’t try to tell you what to do. he’d always been like that, and it’s what you’d loved about him; he never tried to control you or shame you for not acting like the perfect little angel everybody wanted you to be. 

you couldn’t say the same about others in the church. maybe that’s why you’d started to drift away from them and why joshua’s friendship coming to an end had left you so devastated. he had been the one and only person you could always count on, and they had not.

“are you still there?” he asks gently, and you realize you’ve been quiet for too long thinking.

“yeah,” you say finally.

“are you still touching yourself?”

you pause, stifling a gasp, taken aback by his forwardness. hearing him say it out loud made everything seem so real, the realization setting in about what you’re actually doing. “n– no.”

and it’s true. your hand has long since dropped away from your pajama pants, too nervous about being discovered to continue.

“well, why not?” he says. “don’t stop on my account.”

your mouth falls open. “i–”

“clearly you wanted something from me when you called. what is it, sweetheart? i can’t help you if i don’t know what it is you want.”

your brain practically short circuits at that, and it takes a very long minute for you to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence. you want a lot of things, but you don’t know what’s okay to say or not or if he even wants to keep going. which is a silly thought, because he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. it dawns on you that maybe… maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s thinking about you, too.

“what kind of help?” you ask, still testing the waters. you think you have an idea of what he means, but you ask anyway. you’ve never done anything like this with anyone else, only by yourself; not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t want it to be with someone who wasn’t joshua.

“you said you wanted to hear my voice,” he says, and you swear his tone has dropped an octave. “then let me talk to you.”

you whine a little, still holding back but not putting in as much effort to hide it. “m’kay.”

“would it make you feel better if i told you i’m hard right now?”

you suck in a breath. “yeah?”

“yeah,” he says. “just thinking about you.”

you feel a rush of emotion at his admittance. pride? satisfaction? whatever it is, it makes your cunt throb, knowing that just the thought of you can get him going.

finally you dare to slide your hand down your pants again, unsurprised when you find your underwear sticking to you with how wet you are. you’re soaking, and you haven’t even done anything yet.

“hold on,” you manage, putting the call on speaker as you set your phone on the table beside your bed, scrambling to shove your pants and ruined panties off and onto the floor.

once free, you pick up your phone and turn off the speaker, holding it to your ear with shaky hands.

“all ready now?” he asks softly, and it reminds you of what he used to say before you’d play pretend games together. always making sure you were ready. he was hot back then, too, and you mentally curse yourself for never realizing it sooner.

you hum. “mhm. comfortable.”

“good,” he says, and you can almost hear him smiling. “go ahead and do whatever you’d like. but i want you to tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”

you squirm a little on the bed as you start to circle your clit with your fingers. “thinking about you, joshua,” you sigh, finally beginning to feel relief.

“yeah?”

“yeah. you look even better than i thought you would,” you groan, picking up your pace a little as you slip your index finger inside your walls.

he chuckles. “oh, really?”

“mhm. god, i never thought i’d be doing this. especially not with you.”

“and why is that, baby?”

the name makes you shiver. you’d imagined him calling you it many times, but hearing him actually say it is completely different.

“because—” you whimper, losing your train of thought when your brain suddenly pictures his fingers inside you instead of your own. “i’m so close already, please—”

his tone is gentle but firm. “i want you to stop now.”

“but– ah, feels so good, shua,” you say, moans spilling out of you, finally letting him hear everything you’ve been holding back.

you hear him curse in that low voice through the phone, and your hand stills for a split second in shock, your eyes widening. as far as you knew, he never swore. but then again, there were a lot of things he never did that you're discovering about him now. looks like you weren’t the only one who changed over the years.

“that’s not my name.”

you sit up a little in confusion, pushing your phone closer to your ear to make sure you’re hearing him right. “huh?”

“my name is joshua. if you’re gonna moan like a sinner about how good it feels when i tell you how to touch yourself, you better use my name properly.” he sounds almost angry, but it only spurs you on even further.

you let his words sink for a second before responding. “yes, sir.”

“fuck,” he moans, he actually moans, and if you weren’t already so far gone you would’ve stopped to listen closer, to ingrain the noise in your brain so you never again forget how he sounds. “what did i just tell you?”

“what, you don’t like being called ‘sir’? thought you wanted to be a pastor, joshua,” you say with a smirk, and you know he hears the mischief in your voice, daring him to give you what you want.

it’s probably a good thing he’s not physically in the room with you, because there's no way you would have been able to muster up the courage to say something like that to his face. you wouldn’t have dared to even look him in the eyes, but being on the phone gives you a head rush. because with only his voice and not seeing his face, you can convince yourself that he still isn’t real, that this whole phone call and even your meeting earlier had just been an elaborate figment of your horny imagination, your denial being the only thing saving your last shred of dignity.

“didn’t realize you’d grow up to be even more of a brat than you were before,” he scoffs, and your cunt pulses. 

“what are you doing right now?” you say, a little desperately. the change of subject isn’t very subtle but you don’t care. you won’t lie, you’ve been curious since the start of what he’s doing but he’s been so focused on you he hasn’t said anything about himself. you want to know everything about him— how he’s moving his hands, where he puts pressure, what he thinks about to get himself closer and closer.

he grunts unceremoniously. “i’m fucking my hand and pretending it’s you.”

“me too,” you whimper, closing your eyes as you focus on the movement of your fingers.

after a while he stops responding, and you can hear his heavy breaths over the line matching with your own gasps for air as you curl your fingers inside of you. you figure he must be getting close, but you ask him anyway, because you want to hear him say it.

“yeah– fuck, so close,” he chokes out, and the way his voice gets higher as he lets out a whimper is what finally makes you come undone.

with a moan of his name—his full name—you cum, clenching around your fingers as you struggle to keep your hand moving. your wrist is starting to cramp up a little from the position you’ve been in, but the pleasure coursing through you is more than worth it. it’s almost dizzying, more powerful than any orgasm you’ve had before and when you finally remove your fingers from your aching cunt your head is spinning and your heart is pounding.

you can hear a muffled string of curses through the phone and you know he’s right behind you. thoughts of him sitting on his bed run rampant in your head, imagining his stomach covered in milky cum and his pretty, pretty lips parted as he catches his breath.

the silence is heavy as you feel yourself come back down from your high. you struggle to find something to say after… whatever that just was, so you say the only thing that’s on your mind.

“i really did miss you, joshua,” you say quietly. unlike before, there’s not a hint of teasing in the way you say his name now.

and he sighs contentedly, finally hearing his name on your lips like he always wanted to. “i know. i missed you too.”

you both say your goodbyes and good nights quickly, still basking in enough of the remnants of your orgasms to not be too awkward about it. but after you’re settled in bed (for real, this time) and about to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder if things between you and joshua will ever be anything but awkward.

a memory surfaces: you and joshua running around at the park behind the church after a sunday evening service, no older than kindergarteners, laughing and playing until you collapse on the grass. your mom called for you both to get ready to go home, and no you’re not allowed to have a sleepover because it’s a school night but maybe this weekend if his mom is okay with it. before you ran off, he thrust his pinky out towards you and you shook on it, making a pact to always be best friends, even when you can’t have sleepovers. it didn’t ever occur to either of you that there might come a day where you wouldn’t be best friends.

you don’t remember what prompted him to make the pinky promise, but you know he’s never broken it. and you can only hope that he hasn’t forgotten it.

it’s a few days later at one of your bible study groups when you see him next, and yet again you’re caught off-guard like a deer in headlights.

you’re sitting with a group of other ladies, annotating material for a test you couldn’t care less about when you hear your name called out– a familiar deep voice you can only pray doesn’t belong to who you think it belongs to.

oh, but it does belong to him, alright. it feels like you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you when you turn around and see joshua standing behind you, a warm smile on his face that makes you doubt anything ever happened. maybe it really was all just a delirious dream, too many years of yearning built up into one intense wet dream.

he puts a hand on your shoulder lightly, turning you away from the rest of the ladies. “hey, can we talk somewhere?”

and oh shit it was definitely not a dream.

your cheeks burn as you excuse yourself from the table, packing up your bible and pens and shoving everything in your bag as quickly as you can. you can almost hear the snickering already, the gossips whispering to each other that you must have done something unspeakable if the top-student, pastor’s son, joshua hong has to speak with you privately. ah, if only they knew.

you only wish you could go back there and wipe the smirks off of all their faces and tell them about what the perfect little gentlemen they all pretend they don’t have crushes on was doing on the phone with you last night. you wouldn’t do that, not in a million years, but just the thought of it is satisfaction enough. 

joshua leads you down the hall to a room that looks like an empty office. he opens the door for you, then closes it softly behind you.

“whose is this?” you ask, glancing around the room. 

“it’s… mine,” he says almost shyly, gesturing idly to a little engraved nameplate on the desk. joshua hong, pastor’s assistant. because of fucking course he would be.

“oh.”

he clears his throat, and in that moment you realize he’s just as nervous as you are. “listen…” he starts, taking a pause. “about the other night–”

“are you gonna kick me out?” you interrupt.

his brows knit together in confusion. “what?”

“are you gonna expel me?”

“no?” he says, still looking at you, baffled. “why would i do that? i don’t even think i have the power to, even if i wanted. which, for the record, i don’t.”

you don’t reply, focusing your gaze on the carpet instead.

he frowns. “is that really how you think of me? that i just go around tattling to my dad? from that… conversation, i thought it was clear i’m not like that anymore.”

the tips of your ears are burning at the memory of all the things you said to each other over the phone. but it never occurred to you that maybe he was just as sinful as you had been.

you stay quiet, the silence stretching on as shame and embarrassment and a hundred other emotions swirl in your mind and you struggle to figure out what to say.

luckily for you he fills the silence himself. he exhales, looking down at a stack of papers on the desk. “god, you… you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought about you all the time.”

“so did i,” you manage to whisper. “in more ways than you know.”

he gives you a teasing smile. “oh, i have a feeling i do know.”

you hold back a cough and look away, focusing your attention on a painting of flowers on the wall. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“if that’s how you wanna play this, fine.”

your curiosity piques, and you look back at him. he motions to the seat in front of the desk, wordlessly asking you to sit. hesitantly you do, and he starts to sit down at the swivel chair behind the desk, but you clear your throat and he glances up.

“can– can you not sit over there?” you ask softly. “feels like i’m being scolded.”

his expression softens a little, and he rolls the chair back into place, opting to sit next to you instead. “of course.”

except maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to do that, because now he’s sitting toe to toe with you and the closeness is overwhelming. at least on the other side of the desk there was enough distance for you to shrink and hide behind, but here, sitting like this, he can see all of you. and you don’t particularly want to be seen right now.

the tension is palpable as he takes his seat, still watching you. you take the moment to study his features: the slope of his nose and the gentle curve of his lips, the way the light catches on his long eyelashes and the way his broad shoulders look in that perfectly tailored sunday morning service suit.

“i always liked you,” he starts, and your gaze shoots up to his eyes. you open your mouth to ask something, but he shakes his head and you immediately fall silent, letting him finish. “i was almost glad when they made us go to different sunday school classes, because i wouldn’t have to sit there and pretend i didn’t have the craziest crush on you.”

“joshua, i–” you trail off, not even knowing what to say.

he pauses, as if debating his next words. “and i know it’s wrong, but i couldn’t get you out of my head when i… y’know.” his cheeks are flushed but he doesn’t look away from you, eyes searching your own for any hesitance or any sign that you don’t want this.

it’s then that you realize that the boldness you had felt hiding behind your phone, he had felt it too. saying words alone in your room at night was easy. sitting in public, in the daylight, and saying those same words to his face was so much scarier. and knowing that you’re both feeling awkward and shy and a little uncertain of how to talk about it gives you the confidence to keep going.

“when you would what?” you pry. you already know the answer but you want to hear it come out of his mouth anyway. you’ve already heard him say it, but something about sitting in his office, in a church, speaking such filth ignites a spark in you that’s completely different from the spark you felt a few nights ago.

he clears his throat and looks you in the eye, maybe gaining a little bit of that confidence, too. “when i would jerk off i would always wish it was your sweet little mouth instead of my own hand.”

you inhale sharply, and that’s when he finally breaks eye contact, his guilt-ridden gaze shifting to the wall behind you as his cheeks burn redder. “i didn’t feel good about it. felt like i was doing it without your permission, and i didn’t want that. i–”

“yes,” you say hurriedly.

he stops short at your interruption, instantly looking back at you. “yes…?”

“yes, you have my permission. whatever you want, joshua, always.”

his eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, but you recognize it. even after all these years, after so much has changed, you still know his tells. you wonder if he still knows yours.

he murmurs your name in response, almost like a warning. “don’t say stuff like that,” he says, letting out a shaky breath.

“why not?” you ask, feigning innocence. but you know exactly what you’re doing, and you know exactly how you affect him: the same way he affects you.

he looks up at you. “you really are just as much of a brat as you were back then, aren’t you?” he says with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“why don’t you find out?”

he groans, leaning back in his chair. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to kiss you?” he says finally.

“probably just as long as i’ve wanted to kiss you,” you counter, and he raises an eyebrow.

you both stand up at the same moment, closing the distance in less than a second. 

you stare at his chest in front of you to avoid his eyes, until he brings up a hand and gently tilts your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“are– you gonna get in trouble?” you breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stare at his perfect, perfect lips.

he hums, and it sends a shiver down your spine at the close proximity. “are you still giving me permission?” he asks, and you quickly shake your head yes. 

“always.”

he smooths his thumb across your cheek. “then i won’t be in any trouble at all."

and then his hand moves to hold the back of your neck and he's tilting his head and bringing his lips towards yours and then finally, after years of dreaming about it and even more years of denying it, you're finally kissing joshua and there's so many things happening at once that you can't seem to focus on anything because your mind is so full of everything and nothing and joshua and it all just feels so right.

you’re melting in his arms and falling into his touch and enjoying every fucking second of it. your heart speeds up when his hands slide behind your back, wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him, pressed chest to chest.

he pulls away to kiss you again, and again, and again, and you decide you’d be content to be like this forever, standing in his office in the church building making out like you’re the only two people on earth. 

but finally his lips leave yours, and he takes a tiny step backwards, heaving out a shaky breath as he looks you in the eyes. “what are we gonna do now?”

your heart plummets, doubts racing through your mind. did he not like it? does he not like you? did you really just ruin everything? why did he stop? why did he ask that—

but all your questions are answered in an instant when he coughs and you look down, finally noticing the prominent bulge in his dress pants. oh. that.

when you look back up at him his cheeks are flushed bright red, and he immediately begins to apologize.

“shua,” you call out to him, repeating his name the way you know he likes. “joshua. don’t worry about it. it’s fine.”

in fact, you find it incredibly flattering, that just a few kisses and gentle touches could get him this worked up. maybe it really has been you all along.

with a surge of confidence, you step back towards him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning to kiss him. “are you busy today?” you murmur, your cheek brushing against his.

he shudders, hands automatically finding your waist and pushing your hips against his own. “no. are you?”

you sigh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “not anymore.”

“fuck,” he curses, his grip on your body tightening “you really want to…?” he asks, almost shyly, as if he’s in denial this is really happening.

“absolutely,” you say, and you’ve never meant anything more in your life.

in a second he’s got you shoved against his desk, sending papers flying to the floor as he lifts you by your ass to sit you down on top of it. your kisses turn rougher and needier, your hands grabbing at anything you can reach to ground yourself: his hair, his shoulders, his back.

finally he breaks free, dropping to his knees in front of the desk. “please, let me eat you out.”

you moan out loud, probably too loudly for the thin walls of the office. but the visual of him on his knees to do anything other than pray drives you mad, and you need more of him, desperately. “joshua, please.”

he pushes your skirt up your thighs, moving it out of his way so he can stare eye to eye with your pussy. you whimper and instinctively try to hide your face in embarrassment, but something tells you he wouldn’t like that, so you resist, keeping your hands firmly planted on the edge of the desk.

“fuck, you’re soaking,” he says, his voice broken. “you’re so perfect.”

his hands reach up to tug at the hem of your underwear, and he looks up at you, silently asking for permission to continue. you nod eagerly, lifting your hips off the desk so he can slide them off of you, revealing your glistening entrance.

he whines at the sight, pretty lips parted in shock? awe? as if he can’t wait to taste you. he pushes his face into your pussy, gently at first, but when you moan and bring your hand up to his hair he dives deeper.

the moment he attaches his mouth to your clit, you jump, gasping as you try to shut your legs around his head but his large hands keep you held open. his tongue explores every inch of you, moving back and forth, up and down, mapping out your cunt with his mouth. 

“fuck, never dreamed you’d taste so good,” he sighs against your pussy, leaning away to take a breath after what feels like forever.

your legs are shaking and your cunt is throbbing as you also try to catch your breath. you’re not used to being touched like this and you’re definitely not used to being touched by joshua. so many thoughts running through your head and not a single one of them coherent enough to put into words. all you can do is weakly whine out joshua’s name and tug on his hair, pleading for him to keep going. you need release, and you don’t want it from anyone but him.

he stands up, his pants wrinkled from kneeling on the floor but still tented with a bulge so uncomfortably large you feel dizzy just thinking about it. you don’t even know if he’s going to fuck you or even if he wants to, but god you want to see his cock so bad. too many restless nights spent thinking about it, and now you might finally have the chance to see it in front of your face.

your mouth waters at the thought, and you start to slide off the desk, but joshua stops you. “what are you…?”

you look up at him, eyes blown wide with lust and you don’t even attempt to hide your eagerness. “please let me suck your dick. joshua, please.”

he whines, running a hand through his hair. “god, i want that so bad, but… i don’t think i can last if you do, and i was really hoping to fuck you.”

you close your eyes and roll your head back, moaning at his vulgar confession. but he sighs, and he sounds almost defeated, and you look back at him quickly, afraid he’s suddenly changed his mind.

“i’m not—prepared,” he admits, and you tilt your head in confusion before it sinks in what he means.

“ah. don’t suppose you would have any condoms lying around, would you, mr. pastor’s assistant?” you ask playfully, and he shoots you a glare.

“brat,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it, and your walls clench in response. “no, i don’t have any. not interested in anybody else, so… no reason to.” he looks like he has more to say, more serious things to say, but he keeps his mouth shut, his eyes searching your face nervously.

your stomach flips at his words, feeling your cheeks heating up. you hadn’t thought you would ever get this far, and especially not with him. because of the kind of school you were at, it wasn’t like the people here were doing the kind of things you’ve been doing—at least not publicly. even if you’d wanted to hook up with somebody (which you didn’t), everyone in your vicinity would shame you for even bringing it up. you may have experience with yourself, but anything with anyone else is completely new territory for you.

you fall silent, not sure how to continue the conversation as all your newfound confidence begins to crumble. what were you thinking? caught up in the heat of the moment, saying things you weren’t sure you meant. you were in love with him: that much you were sure of. but everything that comes after that is too new, too scary, at least for right now. you can barely even comprehend that he just went down on you, but you know you enjoyed it and honestly, you’d give anything for him to do it again. but there’s too much going on inside your head for you to even begin to process that right now.

he calls your name and you blink, looking back at him anxiously. “we… don’t have to. right now, or even at all,” he says gently. the tips of his ears are burning red but his voice is calm and steady.

“joshua, i want to,” you start, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap to give you something to focus on other than the way he’s watching you so intently. “but i– don’t know how.”

“neither do i, baby,” he says. the nickname makes you shiver; even though it’s not the first time he’s called you that, especially after the other night, you’re still not used to it. but somehow it’s comforting, and it makes you relax knowing that he’s still the same person you grew up with, the same person that knows almost everything about you. you’ve both changed so much, but deep down you haven’t changed at all.

he pauses when you don’t say anything back. “we’ll wait, then,” he says and wraps his arms around you, lightly at first but then squeezing when you don’t try to pull away. “we have all the time in the world. no need to rush.”

“we… do?” your voice is laced with uncertainty.

he smiles. “of course. i let you go once already, i’m not letting it happen again. never again.”

you turn your head away from him and hide your face, flustered by how sincere he sounds. he hums, and you can hear the pout in his tone so you fight your embarrassment and turn back towards him to ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind since you first saw him days ago. “this is gonna sound so stupid, but… shua, what are we?”

first you were childhood friends, you were best friends, and then you were nothing. right place, wrong time? and then you were… doing something on the phone together, whatever you could call that. and now you were just sitting on top of his desk, sweating from having almost had sex. how do you even begin to put a label on this?

“well, i’d like to be yours,” he says shyly, and just like that all your questions are answered with six small words. you realize it doesn’t matter what label you have; as long as you have him, that’s all that matters.

“yes,” you breathe, lifting your eyes to finally meet his and you see all the love in his eyes threatening to spill over.

he reaches up to brush a piece of your hair out of your face. “i’m just glad i finally have you back,” he says with a soft smile as he watches you. “we’ll go slow, we’ll wait— whatever you want. whatever it takes not to lose you again.”

you bury your face in his chest with a whine. you’re hiding again, but even the uncomfortable scratchiness of his dress shirt can’t pull you away from him.

“besides, i don’t want our first time together to be in my stupid little office,” he chuckles and holds you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that makes your heart flutter. “you deserve better than that.”

you stay there for a long moment, hugging him like it's the last time you'll ever see him. but this time you know it won't be the last. it's the first, the first of hopefully many, many more.

when you feel like you've been standing there too long, you clear your throat and lean your head back to look at him. "so, um… now what?"

he pauses, those pretty lips turned up in a smile. "do you have plans for lunch?"

"no, i just had that study group you pulled me from. i'm free for the rest of the day."

his smile widens. "perfect. you still like grilled cheese, or did you grow out of that, too?"

you laugh, putting your chin on his shoulder as you hug him. "i haven't changed that much, shua."

after taking a while to collect yourselves (waiting for his erection to go back down so you can leave together without looking suspicious), you walk out of joshua’s office the happiest you've felt in years.

he'd wanted to hold your hand, too, but you were still anxious about anyone seeing you together that you'd refused him until you made it to his car. you were probably just being paranoid and no one would care about two responsible adults talking to each other, but all the time you'd spent hiding from your peers had put you on edge.

so, it wasn't until you were safely out of the church parking lot and in the driveway of his apartment complex that you let him touch you, kissing you over the cupholders with his hands gently holding your neck.

it took everything in you not to climb over the center console and sit on his lap in the driver's seat and kiss him as hard and as deeply as you really wanted, but you knew once you started you wouldn't be able to stop. and besides, he still didn't have any condoms. it didn't bother you either way, since you'd been taking birth control since high school to help with your periods, but if it was what he wanted you'd be more than fine with it.

you don't know what you'd been expecting the inside his apartment to look like; probably some tacky cross-stitch bible verses or a wooden cross hanging on the wall, but his apartment just looked like… a normal apartment. a very clean apartment, actually, though you weren't surprised. he'd always been a neat, organized kid, and it looked like that was one thing he hadn't grow out of.

you watch as he puts his keys on a hook by the door, following him into the kitchen and sitting at one of the chairs.

he grins at you as he opens his refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for your lunch before taking out a pan.

"shua…" you interrupt him, standing up and walking towards him slowly. "you're not— really thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches right now, are you?"

he hums, eyes following your every movement as the pan sits cold and abandoned on the stove. "there are… other things on my mind, yeah."

"so why are you still trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"

by now you're close enough to stand toe to toe with him, and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your body when he wraps his hands around your waist, backing you against the kitchen counter. "because i wanna make you lunch. maybe i just wanna spoil my girl a little bit."

a shiver runs down your spine at the new name he calls you. never in a million years did you think this is where you'd end up.

"i think you have all the time in the world to spoil me later, joshua," you mumble, leaning in closer and closer until your lips touch.

in a flash he's hoisting you up and sitting you on the counter. his mouth never leaves yours as you slide your legs around his hips to drag him closer, kisses growing deeper and more desperate now that you can finally be alone together.

his hands slide down your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt and only breaking apart for a second to slide it over your head before his lips are crashing against yours again. 

your hands find his hips, experimentally tugging on his belt to see his reaction. immediately he pulls away from you, 

cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. "sweetheart, i still don't have any condoms. if you really want to now, then we gotta run to the store first."

“i’m on the pill,” you burst out, hoping he gets the message. maybe he has some other reason for wanting to, but you're too impatient to wait for who knows how long it'll take to go to the store, and you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off him for that long. you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off of him for even a few seconds.

his face goes blank as he processes your words, struggling to understand if you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying. “you’d let me…?”

you grab onto his arms, a desperate attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. “raw, yes, joshua. just—please, i need you,” you beg him, cunt throbbing with neglect as you wait for him to answer. 

he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan, gripping his hands underneath your thighs and sliding you off the counter.

with a shriek you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he starts to walk out of the kitchen carrying you. "joshua! what the hell are you doing?"

his face is still pressed against your shoulder, and you can feel his lips tickling your bare skin as he speaks. "i'll fuck you on my kitchen counter any day of the week, baby, but i want to have you for the first time in my bed, please?"

his voice is low and whiny, just as desperate for you as you are for him and it makes you moan with excitement. 

he finds his way into his room, stumbling a little when he accidentally runs you into the wall instead of through the doorway, but you just giggle and kiss him harder until he finally drops you on his bed, immediately unbuttoning his shirt.

you run your hands along his chest as he leans over you, feeling the toned muscle that feels almost wrong to be seeing. his physical changes are much more obvious to you now that he's like this, and you know the image will fuel your fantasies for weeks.

your hands move to his belt again and this time he allows it, letting you unbuckle it and toss it away before slowly lowering the zipper. he's already hard again, and your heart races when you put a little bit of pressure on the seam and he lets out a guttural groan in response.

his arms flex as he reaches down to slide your skirt off, and you help him and kick the fabric away, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear.

joshua pauses, letting his gaze wander your body as you look away shyly. he hums and you look back at him in confusion. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, please," he says, but it comes out more like a whine; not like he's asking, but like he's begging. it's honestly the hottest thing you've ever heard, and even with your nerves he makes it hard to resist.

"dreamt about this for fucking years. years," he moans as he leans over to kiss your chest, reaching behind your body to undo your bra and let it fall away. you whimper when he brings his hands up to cup your breasts, wrapping his mouth around one of your nipples as he starts to slowly grind against your clothed pussy. you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, and you're sure he can feel it, too.

his hands are like nothing you've ever felt, and you roll your head back against his pillows, arching into him as he massages your breasts with his large hands. you'd noticed them before, but you hadn't realized just how big they were until they were on top of you and made your body seem almost tiny beneath his massive palms.

"shua…" you breathe, tentative hands reaching up to touch his shoulders.

he looks up at you, mouth covered in spit. "yes, angel?"

you whimper at the nickname. no angel you'd ever learned about in sunday school had acted like you are right now, begging a man to fuck you. and on top of that it was before marriage, too; surely if there was a god they would be extremely disappointed in you. but right now you didn't care if the entire universe was disappointed in you, as long as joshua hong wasn't.

it takes you a few more seconds to build up your courage, but finally you open your mouth and tell him, "joshua, please— fuck me."

he slides forward to kiss you again, before sitting back and repositioning himself between your legs. "anything you want, sweetheart."

he lines his cock up at your entrance, and just before you think he's about to push into you, he looks up at you instead. 

"i love you, so much," he says, and you have to fight the urge to hide your face as you grin and giggle like a fucking schoolgirl; like the past version of you would have, if she'd had any sense and figured everything out sooner.

and, like always, he asks, "ready?", and you nod, and it's better than you could've ever imagined.

the whines that leave his mouth drive you close to the edge already as he begins to thrust into you, slowly, gently, just a little bit at a time but it still leaves you gasping from his size.

he keeps moving at a snail's pace until you reach up, fumbling to grab at his bicep as tears nearly spill out of your eyes and beg him, "joshua, more, please."

he leans over you, pressing his body flat against yours as he starts to rock his hips faster, and you cry out from so much pleasure and so much emotion hitting all at once.

"wanted you so fucking bad, for so long, and now you're finally here," he whispers, his thrusts never faltering despite how close in proximity he is to your face.

you whine as your hands claw at his back, digging in as you struggle to hold on and he curses again, pushing into you harder.

"you said i was better than you imagined," he groans, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. "but you're even better than i imagined. you're a fucking angel, so fucking beautiful."

you gasp his name, falling into your orgasm from his words alone as you clench impossibly tight around him. you always thought of him as the nice kid, the rule follower, but here he is, fucking you through the hardest orgasm of your life and saying such filthy things in between praises and compliments.

"jo-oshua, please!" is all you can manage, still struggling to recover before he crests into his own high with a whimper. his eyes scrunch up as he releases inside you, eyelashes fluttering and sweat dripping down his temples, and you think it's the most beautiful sight you've ever seen. 

a constant stream of curses fall from his lips and you swallow them with yours, kissing him as if you're afraid he might disappear into thin air if you don't hold onto him tight enough.

his breaths are shallow when his mouth falls away from you, resting his forehead on your shoulder with a long exhale.

"god…" he starts, then stops and laughs, and you have to tug on his hair to make him face you again.

"what are you laughing at?" you say, cheeks growing hot when he looks at you with droopy, hooded eyes and a lopsided smile.

"nothing," he laughs. "just god. what a funny word."

"and why is that, baby?" you say as you try to hold back a smile, testing out the nickname.

he grins. "because it gave me you. or maybe it didn't. who knows?"

you finally laugh along with him, remembering what he'd said to you on the phone that feels like years ago. "don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”

the church is humming with activity as you make your way to the front pew, carrying two donuts in your hand. people greet you as they mingle about the hall, talking and laughing. some wave excitedly when they see you, others simply smile and offer their hand for you to shake with a friendly “good morning and god bless!”

being a pastor’s wife isn’t something you ever imagined yourself doing, but then again, a lot of things in your life you never imagined doing. you never imagined seeing joshua again, and you never imagined marrying him, either. you certainly didn’t imagine taking over your father-in-law’s church when he retired and decided it was time for joshua to take his place as head of the church. you always knew he would someday, whether he wanted to or not, but you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life by his side no matter where he was or what job he had.

you’d been almost nervous when you decided it was finally time to tell your parents you had been seeing each other, but to your surprise they had been overjoyed at the news. both his family and yours were “just so glad when it happened to be you!”, saying things like “we’d always known it would happen, back since you were children!”, and “so when are we going to get some beautiful little grandchildren to take to sunday school!”

it had been five long and happy years since that very first phone call, and every minute you spend with joshua has been the best of your life.

you walk up the steps to the stage where your husband is waiting, flipping through his notes for the morning’s sermon. you hand him his donut with a grin, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. he smirks at you, imperceptible to everyone else but you can tell what it truly means.

everybody in the congregation always talks you’re the perfect example of a happy, god-loving couple. such nice looking people, so well put together. but behind closed doors, they’d be horrified by the things you say and do together. wolf in sheep’s clothing, as is your husband’s favorite parable to preach.

it’s not the life you imagined, but it’s perfect to you and him.

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[whatdoeseverybodywant]

All Falls Down - Chapter 11

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Present Day

“Joe imma need to you to get the fuck away from me… real talk.” Josh snarled, “You always wanna bring up some old shit. We graduated twenty-something years ago.” Joe rolled his eyes. 

“Does it really matter how long ago it was Joshua? Y’all were dating. You had her give up her dream school to go to Alabama with you, then left her in Alabama by herself when you couldn’t keep your grades up. You always fuck up when it comes to Kiyana.” 

Kofi Xavier and Sami shared a look, whatever was going on between Josh and Joe went back years and they weren’t sure if they wanted to get involved. 

“Yo” Josh laughed “You deadass obsessed with my wife.” Josh stood up from his chair, pushing Xavier’s hand out of his way when he went to stop him and walked up into Joe’s face. “She’ll always be mine, Uce, my wife, the mother of my kids. So whatever plan you got cooking, you minds well put a end to it. She ain’t leaving me” Josh glared before shouldering Joe out of his way and walking out of catering to find Kiyana. 

Kiyana had wound up back outside by the docks. She knew she should’ve stayed her ass in Florida. ‘You had planned to divorce KiKi and get with Shanté.’ Hearing Joe say that and then Josh not even attempting to deny it actually broke Kiyana to pieces. The affair was one thing that they maybe could have recovered from but this… there was no coming back, there was no fixing this marriage. It was over.  Tears were pouring down her face at the thought of not being married to Josh anymore. 

“I’m sorry.” She heard someone whisper from behind her. Kiyana wiped her tears and turned around, rolling her eyes at who was standing there. “Look, lets just go home aight and forget about all of this, aight?” Kiyana scoffed 

“Forget? Josh, you want me to forget that you told some bitch that you wanted to divorce me for her? You really got me fucked up Joshua.” 

“Kiyana, I never said that.” He tried to walk towards her but she held up her hand to stop him. “Come-on Key, I love you, you know that.” 

“No, I thought I did.” She let out a sarcastic laugh and wiped her tears. “I thought that you loved me but it’s so obvious that you don’t. If you loved me you would’ve told me what happened between you and that woman the first time but you didn’t.You continued your affair for four months.” 

“And I’m sorry for that Key. I’m gon fix this Kiyana. I have to fx this. You want me to quit? I’ll do it. It’s so many other wrestling promotions out there.” She shook her head. 

“It’s too late Joshua,” She whispered, her heart feeling heavy in her chest. “This can’t be fixed.” 

“What? No.” He said walking towards her, ignoring her warning of ‘stay away’ “I fuck up, that’s what I do and then I fix it. I always fix it.” 

“Not this time.” She grabbed her bag and walked off without giving Josh a second glance. It was nearing midnight and all she wanted to do was lay in bed and cry her eyes out. 

Josh blinked back tears as he watched his wife walk away from him. How could he fuck up this bad? He shoulda stopped the affair as soon as it happened but with Key in the hospital and worrying if she and Kairo were going to make it, Josh needed an outlet. He needed a way to vent and Shanté was there for him, no it should have never led to them having sex for four months, but he was a man with needs.

Ever since her father had died, Kiyana had pushed Josh away. Even him trying to rub her stomach to feel his son had her bitching and complaining and maybe that was the reason why he didn’t stop the affair. He just wished he could go back in time and walk away from Shanté when she asked him out for that drink. 

Joe walked out of the arena just as Kiyana walked away from Josh and he had to hide his smirk. ‘Not leaving you my ass’ Joe thought as he walked past Josh and in the direction Kiyana went. 

“KiKi!” Joe called out after her, breaking out into a light jog to catch up to her. “Hey, come on. I’ll take you back to my bus.” She shook her head, eyes still glued to her phone as she looked up flights to Pensacola. 

“No Joseph. I just wanna go home okay.” She said almost tempted to throw her phone as she only saw flight that left tomorrow afternoon. “I should have stayed home. Coming here was a bad idea and you were no help! Like why did you have to blurt that out!” 

“So what,  he’s the only one that gets to cheat? That’s not right Kiyana!” He sighed and took a deep breath trying to calm himself down. “You don’t deserve what he did to you Kiyana and he should feel all of the pain that he made you feel.” Kiyana rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I just want to go home.” She sighed, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Can you take me to a hotel?” 

“No, you can stay on my bus, I’ll stay out in the living room and you can stay in my room.” When she opened her mouth to decline, Joe shook his head and raised his voice, talking over her. “I’m not taking no for an answer Kiki.” 

“Fine,” She muttered. “Where’s your bus?"

Joe was jolted away when his driver hit a pothole. He sat up on the couch and stretched, frowning when he heard Kiyana sniffling in his room. Josh should pay for what he’s done to her. She didn’t deserve any of this. He stood up from the couch and stretched the muscles in his back before walking over to the closed door and knocking on it. 

“You alright in there Kiyana?” He asked softly, feeling his heart ache at the sound of her choked sobs. 

“Yeah, sorry if I woke you up.” She said softly, Joe having to strain his ears to hear her over the sound of the bus’s engine. 

“It’s all good Kiki.” He said and then after a moment of silence asked, “can I come in.” Kiyana didn’t say anything but he heard her feet pad across the floor then heard the lock clicking. “You wanna talk about it?” Joe asked once he walked into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed, his body half-way turned towards her. 

“Not really,” She said softly, shrugging and wiping her nose with some tissue. Joe nodded and laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “How could he do this to me Joey? After everything we've been through.” she whimpered, picking at stray strings in his blanket. 

“He’s a moron Kiyana.” Joe whispered back, turning his head to the side to look at her. Even with her puffy eyes and slightly snotty nose, she was the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. 

“What am I going to tell my kids?” She asked, looking up at him. Joe moved up the bed, resting his back against the headboard and pulled Kiyana into his arms.

“Don’t worry about that right now KiKi.” He muttered, stroking his hand up and down her arm. “You’re a good ass mom, you gon figure everything out for you and your kids.”

“Thank you,” Kiyana broke the silence after a while. “You’ve been a really great friend through all of this.” She whispered, looking up at him and he smiled down at her. 

“You know I'm always gon be here for you KiKi.” He whispered back, eyes jumping back and forth from the lips back up to her eyes. Fuck it. Joe and Kiyana thought simultaneously, both of their heads moving towards each other, their lips meeting in an passionate kiss. 

Kiyana moaned into his mouth as he pulled up on top of him. “Wait-Wait.” Joe said as he broke the kiss, throwing his head back and moaning when she started to place kisses up and down his neck. “You sure you wanna do this.” he moaned again when she started to suck on her earlobe. 

Kiyana moved away from his neck and cupped his jaw in her hands, staring deep into his eyes. “I want to do this Joe.” she affirmed, before reaching down and pulling her oversized shirt off of her, leaving her in her emerald green top and matching green and black lace panties.

“Goddamn baby girl” He said as she also took off her top, her nipple perking up from the coldness of the room. Josh is a fucking idiot. Joe thought as he slid his hands up from her wait to cup her breast.  She moaned and grinded her hips down on his lap as he swirled his tongue around her nipple, sucking on it before moving over to the other one.

Kiyana let out a loud laugh when Joe flipped them over so she was on her back looking up at him. She reached up and released his hair from the bun it was in. “One last chance to back out Kiki.”

Instead of answering him, she reached up and threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging him down so they were chest to chest and bit his bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth. “I want you Joe” Joe nodded and stood from the bed, eagerly taking his shirt off and pushing his shorts and briefs down his legs.

She hummed appreciatively as she eyed his growing erection. Joe smirked down at her and stroked his dick. Her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a moan as he leaned down and  placed open mouth kisses on her stomach leading to her sex. 

He let out a deep moan as he pushed her legs apart and draped them over his shoulders “Fuck, I made you this wet baby?” 

“Joe” She moaned as he took his thumb and ran it up and down her slit before circling her clit. “Fuck yes” She whispered as her back arched off the bed when his tongue replaced his thumb. He circled her clit with his tongue before closing his lips around it. One of her hands flew to his head,  gripping his hair and he moaned when she tugged on it. 

“You taste so fuckin’ good” Your husband is a dumbass he wanted to add but figured it would ruin the mood. “Hold them legs up for me.” He said ,then watched in awe as her toes damn near touched the bed by her ears. “Uh huh, just like that” he whispered before bringing his mouth back down to her pussy. 

She bit her bottom lip, soft moan escaping as she watched him basically devour her pussy. Her moans ,getting louder and louder when Joe circled his middle finger around her entrance  before pushing it inside of her. He let out a deep moan as her pussy clenched around his finger. 

“Mmmm.” She moaned, eyes rolling into the back of her head. “I’m boutta cum Joe.” 

“Go head baby, cum in my mouth.” He winked before wrapping his lips around her clit again and pumping his fingers in and out of her faster, moaning when her juices flooded his mouth. He placed a soft kiss on the inside of each thigh before scooting back up the bed, settling his lower body between her open legs. 

Both of them letting out moans once their lips met. Joe gripped his dick in his hands, sliding it up and down her slit before he pushed only the tip in. He pulled out, smearing her essence up and down her slit again, tapping her clit before, slowly pushing his length inside of her. 

“Mmm fuck” Kiyana gasped out against Joe’s lips and he started moving his length in and out of her. 

Josh woke up to his phone ringing, a special ringtone that he had set for Kiyana. He immediately answered it. 

“Jesus Key,you got me out here worried and shit , where are you?”  

“Oh, fuck Joe right there!” Josh blinked, still holding the phone to his ear as his wife’s moans and his cousin's groans came through his cell phone’s speaker. 

“Kiyana?” Josh whispered, bottom lip wobbling as his heart was literally being torn from his cheat. 

“Shit, Mmhm you grippin’ the fuck out my dick KiKi.” Josh dropped the phone like he had been burned by it, staring down at it in horror. 

🤣

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

[lonvely]

dominic muñoz for jackson roth's bachelor challenge ➴♡

⤷ @rainymoodlet !

⟢ about him.

adult (35) | he/him | cringe, perfectionist, loyal

dom & his 2 sisters were born in del sol valley, their immigrant parents are from selvadorada have instilled in them to have pride in their roots (mexican-american/chicano). dom's dream was to be a lawyer, but with his dad's arthritis rapidly getting worse during his high school years, & his mom's low-paying teaching job, dom decided to take care of his family & began working odd handyman jobs, until eventually landing a full-time gig at happy car mechanics, owned by eric lewis (they have a shrek-donkey kind of relationship). growing up, his peers always found him a bit cringe, but dom's enthusiasm for life have made him completely unaffected of how others perceive him. now 35, maybe he doesn't always know how to be completely serious, so he can come across immature. after his parents' struggles & him having to sacrifice his dreams, it really just is a front he puts to protect himself from difficult conversations. he takes his loved ones' problems very seriously, he just needs a little patience at first while developing a friendship/romance. now, at 35, he would like to have a family of his own. that is a dream he has not given up on.

⟢ fun facts.

⋆ he has been in 2 relationships, one with dina caliente during 7th - 12th grade but they agreed to break up & remain friends in order to explore their sexuality & individuality. the second was long-distance, his ex-boyfriend lived in tomarang, unfortunately their different schedules made them drift apart.

⋆ his family is very catholic, but when teenage dominic came out to them as bisexual, both of his parents started decorating the house with rainbows & his sisters took him to his first pride.

⋆ dominic loves oldies, jazz, blues, & latin music! top 3 songs:

jason joshua - la vida es fría

gary b.b. coleman - the sky is crying

nina simone - i put a spell on you

⋆ he got his first tattoo in his high school's bathroom (it's on his upper thigh). that friend became a really good tattoo artist & did the rest of dominic's tattoos for free for believing in him!

[junhui-png]

puppy love ⌦ .｡.:*♡

mingyu x reader x scoups? (Still figuring it out LOL)

pt. 2

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summary: first year of college, you literally knew no one and you planned for it to stay that way but damn were you wrong

notes: part 2!!! I hope y’all like this, I read back on pt 1 and realized I made some grammar errors and it was lowkey just ass in general…So I hope part 2 is a lot more enjoyable as I put a little more thought into it ! 💕

genre: seventeen college au, love triangle between scoups and Mingyu, Mingyu being on a football team, financial major scoups, angst??, fluff, cute friend ships, Hoshi, Joshua, Seungkwan, Minghao, and Wonwoo r your besties, Also besties with Yunjin (Le Sserafim) and Minnie (G-IDLE), other seventeen members are mentioned?? Childhood friends, cursing, drinking

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"its been awhile" the man chuckles. Choi Seungcheol. You're first every friend. You had met him on the first day of 2nd grade and had stayed friends till middle school until he moved away. You tried looking up his name on insta but nothing every came up, So you just gave up in finding him. "This is crazy" you let out an airy laugh "its been like what, 10 years?" Seungcheol asks, taking a seat next to you "Yea maybe" you felt awkward but so relieved at the same time, it really was nice seeing him after so long "sooo how do you to know each other again? Soonyoung ask "Childhood friends" Seungcheol responds, taking a bite from one of appetizers that were brought up "Wahh~ what a coincidence" Seungkwan says in awe and you both nod "Are you folks ready to order?" the waitress comes around "Yeah I think so?" Wonwoo tells the waiter.

Everyone's food had arrived and we were all eating peacfully, talking about school drama and whatever. But you were defiantly talking to Seungcheol the most, I mean how couldn't you? You had just met your childhood best friend after 10 years. Your phone lights up on your lap and you see a text message from Joshua "Don't you think Mingyu's been awfully quiet" read the text from Joshua. You shot your head up from your phone to look up at Mingyu, who was across from you. He was in fact a lot quieter than he normally is and he even looked a little pissed? You look over at Joshua and he simply gives you a shrug "He looks mad, right?" you whisper to Joshua "He does..." Joshua whispers back. "Can i get these plates out of your way?" the waiter asks and Soonyoung and Wonwoo help collect the plates to hand them over to the waiter "I'll be back with the bill" the waiter smiles before vanishing into the swarm of people.

"That was good, right nini?" Seungcheol pats his stomach a bit and you giggle. Nini was a random nickname Seungcheol had given you when you were both about 7. The whole backstory behind it was that, Seungcheol could never get your name right, but he did remember you by one of you favorite snacks, called "NINI" and eventually, even after he learned and memorized your name, he still preferred calling you nini “Nicknames? Really?” Mingyu scoffs, stuffing in hands into the pockets of this jeans “What’s up with him today?” Seungcheol asks but no one has the answer “maybe he didn’t like his food” Soonyoung suggests. You all stop once you’ve reached the parking lot of the restaurant “We’ll go first, see you guys tomorrow” Soonyoung and Seungkwan both bid there goodbyes, then shortly after Wonwoo and Joshua also left for there dorms, leaving you, Seungcheol, and Mingyu by yourselves. “Do you have a ride nini?” Seungcheol asks you and you shake your head “There’s probably no Ubers around at this time, it’s like a 10 minute walk anyways” you state “I can-“ before Seungcheol can finish his sentence he’s interrupted by Mingyu “I can walk her back to her dorm, you can go home it’s late anyways” Mingyu finishes Seungcheol’s sentence. “Alright if you say so, I’ll text you later y/n” The man scoffs before turning his attention to you “get home safely” he waves goodbye and both you and Mingyu begin to walk towards your dorm.

“I didn’t know you were so close to coups” Mingyu says, so quietly you can barley hear him “I mean I guess we’re good friends” you shrug “ just good friends?” Mingyu says, he’s tone filled with sarcasm. “Yes, just good friends” you say, returning the sarcastic tone. There’s awkward silence but the silence doesn’t last very long “ let’s play 20 questions” Mingyu says suddenly, breaking the silence “So suddenly?” You chuckle but he ignores you “I’ll go first. Favorite artist right now?” He asks “Wave to Earth” “ok ok, now you go” “uhm I don’t know.. favoritee~ video game?” “Call of duty” “cool cool” “Why does coups call you nini?”. You were taken aback just a bit by his question, you thought it was just some stupid Q&A game Mingyu wanted to play to pass the time “he also had trouble memorizing my name, so he started calling me “Nini” because I was always eating those Nini snacks at school” you still answer his question. Mingyu nods but doesn’t seem very satisfied by your question “how long have you been playing football?” “5 years” “dam ok” “What do you like about coups?. Once again, Mingyu brings up Seungcheol and you just didn’t understand why, I mean you didn’t really mind but it was just werid. “Uhm he’s nice??? And he really thoughtful and pays attention when I talk and is just really sweet” you answer Mingyu’s werid question anyways and yet he still looks unsatisfied “Favorite class your taking?” “Photography.” “I didn’t expect that from you” you mumble and Mingyu nods “ a lot of people say that”. “Do you not think I’m nice?” Mingyu suddenly stops in his track and turns to you “what??” You turn and stop to face him “I mean you said you liked coups because he’s nice right?? So am I not nice??” You couldn’t tell if this kid was pulling at your leg or was being dead serious “I mean I barley know you” you stutter out “I mean you said you hadn’t seen him in 10 years! How do you know he hasn’t changed?” Mingyu lowers his head slightly, watching his feet as he kicks a few tiny pebbles lying on the floor “Mingyu. You realized YOU are the one that invited him, I think you would know if he wasn’t a good person” you continue walking up the side walk and Mingyu follows you “so what do you think of me?” Mingyu asks “not your turn, it’s my turn to ask questions” you correct him “why are you asking so many questions about Seungcheol?” You ask “I’m just curious” he shrugs “about what?” You try and ask but Mingyu stops you “Not your turn” he smirks and you just scoff at him. At this point you were both in front of your dorm building complex “Do you think I’m hot?” Oh my god this kid and his fucking questions were gonna be the end of you “I mean.. yeah” you simply state, slowly going up the stairs with Mingyu trailing behind you “Your skincare routine?” “Don’t got one” he shrugs. You give him a dirty look because you know dam well there ain’t not way his skin that clear without at least a cleanser. You know we’re standing in front of your door “go out with me.” Your mind went completely blank “what.” “You heard me”. You did in fact hear him but the words definitely were not processing “you said it yourself, you said I’m nice and hot so why don’t we go on a date?” You were trying your best to avoid eye contact but that man was making it basically impossible, staring right at you without even blinking “well I mean I don’t know” you try and push him away, realizing he was basically pining you up against the wall because of how close you two were “text me then.” He said, backing up just the slightest so you would breathe “ok. I’m going now. Goodnight get back safely” you quickly enter your apartment before even letting the poor boy respond “what the actual fuck..” you mumbled to yourself. “DING” you phone screen lights up and you see a text message from the one and only Mingyu “postist art museum, 3:30 tomorrow” reads the text he sent you with a wink emoji “this kid” you sigh. Though you though he was ridiculous you caught yourself smiling at his text message.

The blaring sound of you alarm pierced through the morning silence of your dorm. You let at a groan as you shifted around in your bed before grabbing your phone "2:01" read the time on your phone "SHIT" you immediately rise from your bed and rush towards the bathroom where you brush your teeth and wash your face. Even though your "Date" with Mingyu was at 3:30, you normally took 2 hours to get ready. As you rummaged through your closet, trying to settle on an outfit to wear, Minnie strolls in "You got a date?" Minnie smirks "Actually, yes I do" you dont bother to look up at Minnie but you have already pictured her shocked face "Damn really? Who?" Minnie leans on the door frame, getting comfortable as you begin to speak "Remember that guy that dropped me off when I was drunk?" You stop looking through your closet and take a seat on your bed "The super hot one?" Minnie asks and you nod "Well, last night he asked me out on a date and I dont even know what I was thinking but I said yes" You sigh, getting back up to continue looking for an outfit "When'd ya'll meet" Minnie asks "Soonyoung's party, so like almost a week ago?" You shrug "You just met this guy and your about to spend a whole day with him?" Minnie questions. I mean she was right, you'd only known this man for less than a week "He wouldn't hurt a fly, I think" You pull out a pair of washed jeans and throw them on the bed "Great! just dont let him kidnap you" Minnie says, sarcastically "Thanks for being such a protective roommate" You give her a fake smile before turning back to look for a top "When are you leaving?" Minnie asks picking up her phone "I wanna get out at 3:00 so id better hurry" you pull out a white square neckline top with a cute lace bow on the neckline "you got like 45 minutes you better hurry" Minnie taps at your door frame, signaling shes going back to her room "have funn!" she calls out "thanks!" You reply, wasting no time to quickly change, put your shoes on and run out of the house.

You do your makeup on the way there and you reach the art museum at exactly 3:30. As you walk off the bus, you almost immediately spotted Mingyu. He was sitting down on the staircase leading up to the museum with a small pink bouquet in his hands. He was wearing a button down loosely with a pair of grey washed jeans and a black leather jacket. You couldn't deny that man was fine, and looked even finer today, especially in that outfit. "Mingyu!" Mingyu shots his head up and looks around before finally locking eyes on your figure. He starts to stand up as you approach him "You look beautiful" He smiles, handing you the pink bouquet "Thank you, you looks nice as well" you take the flowers, examining them carefully "Just nice?" Mingyu cocks his eyebrow up and you scoff at his sarcasms "What did you want me to say?" you and Mingyu start to walk up the stairs, leading to the art museum "I dont know maybe, breath-taking? Ravishing? Stunning? Out of this world?" Mingyu shrugs, you roll your eyes in response "Thats too much" You chuckle.

You and Mingyu begin to walk around the art museum, admiring the art hanged along the walls. "You know, a lot of girls at campus would be jealous of you right now, Going on a date with Mr. Campus crush" Mingyu teases, his lips forming into a cheeky smirk "Dont let you ego get the best of you, Kim Mingyu" You teased back. As the two of you strolled through the museum, admiring the beautiful pieces of art on the wall, Mingyu unexpectedly shifted from his usual playful banter to a more serious note. With a curious glint in his eyes, he turned around to face you and asks "So, what exactly are you looking for in a guy?" The question catches you off guard in the mist of you admiring one of the paintings on the wall, and after a brief pause you begin to state some "Someone who's genuine, I guess? Who's nice, good sense of humor, respects himself and others, and can cook" Mingyu, with a sly smirk, retorted "So basically me?" His comment sent you into laughter, though you weren't necessarily laughing because you thought what he had said was funny, but to try and hide you face that had probably turned as bright as a tomato and heart that was going at 200 BPM. "Well," you replied, finally calming your heart beat down by the slightest bit "Maybe minus the cockiness" You chuckle.

As you and Mingyu continue to walk around, making small comments about some to the paintings on display, you had noticed that Mingyu's banter had changed once again to quite a tense one, almost like he was dying to ask you somthing "You and Coups. You two seem basically inseparable" He asks, his casual tone barely concealing an undercurrent of tension. Suprised by the sudden focus of you childhood friend once again, you nodded "Yeah, Seungcheol. We're close. Why?" Mingyu's gaze lingered on a painting, his questions become more pointed. "What makes him you like him so much? I mean, did you guys share secrets and stuff when you were little or was it just the usual camaraderie?" Mingyu's eyes glancing towards you but stay glued on the painting in front of the two of you "We had a crazy strong bond when we were little, shared a lot of memories. Why are you suddenly curious about him anyways? You were like this yesterday." Mingyu was the one who invited him, he probably knew Seungcheol better than you and longer than you, so you were confused at the mans sudden interrogation. Mingyu's respone was a vague shrug, which left you in an even more confused state "Wanna get out of here?" Mingyu slightly signals towards the door and you nod "Sure, I'm hungry anyways" You both start to walk towards the exit, Mingyu looking through his phone looking for a place to grab dinner at.

You guys walk down the street to a nearby Italian restaurant that Mingyu said he's been wanting to try "I'll trust you judgment" You laugh, walking into the restaurant. You two are seated and begin to pick up you conversation. As Mingyu took a sip from the glass of water left on the table for the two of you, he turns to you with a sudden hopeful gleam in his eyes, almost like a puppy. "You know, you should come to my football games. Its a blast, and I think I'd really love to have you there cheering for me." You chuckle, "Im not really a sports person. The only thing I'd cheer for is not spilling my popcorn all over the bleachers." He grinned, undeterred, "Come on, Its not about the game. Its about the experience. You might enjoy it, I mean who wouldnt if I'm playing in it" You raised an eyebrow "First of all, not everyone goes to watch you" "And second are you trying to recruit me for the team or something?" Mingyu grinned "Well, maybe. But mostly, I just think you'd enjoy it, Plus, you'd get to witness my incredible skill firsthand." Before you could come up with a comeback, the waitress arrived to take our orders, in which we gave and the waitress simply nodded before taking the menus from in front of us.

"Like i was saying" Mingyu begins but realizes your not fully paying attention, but the person to your left. You Ex. There he was sitting right across from you on his friend "Do you know him" Mingyu speaks up, knocking you out of your trances "Yeah, sorry what were you saying?" You tried to get back on track "Who is that?" Mingyu asks "My Ex." "Oh. sorry." "Its fine, it sure is a small world" You chuckle, trying to lighten the mood "We can go somewhere else if you want" Mingyu suggests but you turn the offer down "its fine, we already ordered, and he hasn't even noticed me anyways" Well he didnt notice you 10 seconds ago but he defiantly has now. "Y/N" The family voice sends chills down you spine. Mingyu watches you, waiting for your response but you dont move. Your ex-boyfriend, Jaemin, seized the opportunity while there was silence to approach your table. "Hey" he greeted, a unreadable look in his eyes "Its been a while. I've missed you" Before you could come up with a response, Mingyu, sensing the discomfort, stepped in "We're having a private dinner here. I think its best you leave us be," he states, a subtle intensity in his tone.

Jaemin, now growing upset "I just wanted to talk, catch up. Is that too much to ask?" You look up at him in disgust. How can you try and "catch up" after what he had done to you. he cheated. gaslight you. and now he wants to "talk?". Mingyu catches the look you gave him and returns to Jaemin, his gaze hardening. "Look, she's moved on. Maybe you should to instead of being a dick. Respect her boundaries" Mingyu spits and you can see Jaemin getting progressively angrier. The tension escalated quickly, creating an uncomfortable silence. You apperciated Mingyu stepping in, but it might have made the conflict worst. "Jaemin. Just go." You try and say sternly but you end up sounding like a 6 year old "Why? I know you miss me" you scoff "Me? Miss you? Never. Nobody wants you here so leave." You say sternly, keeping eye contact with him "Whatever, you're gonna come back crawling in a month anyways" Jaemin rushes out of the restaurant leaving you and Mingyu together once again "Sorry.." you mumble "Dont be. He's the one who should apologize for causing such a scene" Mingyu tsks, leaning back in his seat.

The waiter brings you your food, which you both enjoy while talking about all sorts of thinks, and at the end of the day you ended up agreeing to going to Mingyu's next football game "I'll save you the best seats, where you'll get to see the best view of me" Mingyu smirks "Thanks, want me to bring anything?" you walk up the stair of your dorm "Like?" Mingyu asks and you shrug "flowers? somthing to celebrate your win?" You suggest and Mingyu lets out a little laugh "What?" You turn to face him now that you've reached your door "You're so sure I'm gonna win, huh?" Mingyu teases and your face gets a little hot "What? are you not gonna win for me" You tease back "Oh trust me I'll make sure I win" You'd never truly noticed how amazing Mingyu was. Spending the whole day with him really changed how you saw him, he was caring, protective, defiantly a flirt, but you knew that even before you got to know each other, and funny. "Thanks for today, really" Mingyu smiles warmly "Me too, How about we plan something again sooner?" he asks "I'd like that" You smile up at him. "Get some sleep, i'll see you tomorrow" Mingyu backs away from the door and begins going down the stairs "Goodnight" you call out "goodnight, my love". You're left standing there, feeling all warm and fluffy on the inside because of this new nickname. You quietly enter your dorm, removing your shoes and going to get read for bed. Once you had changed into you pajama's you flopped onto the bed and opened your phone to see your lockscreen full of notifications from one person "Na Jaemin." The warmth Mingyu had left you with suddenly disappeared as you read the texts he had left you "Baby, I'm sorry I got mad." "How are you feeling? Do you want me to drop off some food for you?" "Who was that guy you were with?" "Baby??" "Honey?" "answer me" The text trail went on and on "I still have your stuff, you should come by and get it" "I miss you baby please dont be stubborn with me" This man had the audacity to text you such things and try and call you. You take a deep breath, now frustrated by the whole situation "I'll just deal with this tomorrow" You mumble, pushing away your problems like you normally do. You take one more deep sigh before turning off your lights and going to sleep. You thought you ex was just acting up. Kind of just stuck in his feels or whatever, but you had no idea the lengths this man would do to get you back.

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previous / next

next chapter coming out 2/3/24 or 2/4/24 😸😸

[bitchlessdino]

Our Bitchless Masterlist VOLUME II

Favorites (���) Popular (🍭) Porn W/O Plot (😈)

Seventeen

scream your heart out (m) 🍬

[fem!reader x seventeen (???)] you and your friends get caught up in a classic horror slasher movie, only it's in real life. Now you're off to fend for yourselves in Seungcheol's million dollar home. The question is, did you keep them out, or did you just lock them in?

SEUNGCHEOL

nobody's home (m)

(neighbor male nanny!seungcheol x afab maid!reader)Seungcheol and you have never crossed paths for long, but boy have you imagined it. Too preoccupied with your jobs working for some of the richest families in the city, you've sacrificed your grueling hours when you could've been fucked your brains out all this time. However, big risks come with big rewards when the holidays arrive. Then there's nobody home to stop you.

JEONGHAN

JOSHUA

JUNHUI

Would you like a receipt? Pt. 1 Pt. 2

(Childhood bf!junhui x working class gn!reader) Coming across a grade school ex-boyfriend while you worked a shitty seasonal job around Valentines was not in your 2024 bingo card.

SOONYOUNG

WONWOO

JIHOON

SEOKMIN

Civil Affairs (m)

(husband of mistress!seokmin x fem married!reader) With the mutual understanding being cheated on, Seokmin finds solace in you, the beautiful stranger with ties to man that ruined his marriaged, Fortunately, light peeks out of the most inconvenient of circumstance.

MINGYU

reckless (m)

(Adult actor!mingyu x pervert afab!reader) Mingyu is a camboy and proud of it, as he should. Finally, he's getting the applause he deserves for his work and will be attending one of the biggest adult industry events to date. He just needs you to watch over while his house while he's gone. Easy enough, right? Unbeknownst to him, you happened to be a fan. A big one. One so big that you cant help but take advantage what Mingyu fans have only ever dreamed of.

MINGHAO

SEUNGKWAN

VERNON

CHAN

Like I can (m)

(Older woman!reader x ex’s younger brother!chan)

[study-with-aura]

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Today was a much better day! Also, I was very excited because for the first time since I first learned it a year or two ago, completing the square finally made sense to me. I have no idea how I never understood it until now. All I had to do was divide the x factor by 2 then square it and add that square to both sides of the equation. It's so simple! In other words, I had a lot of fun working on Geometry today because I was thrilled that it finally made sense.

In other news, I accidentally wrote my Biology assignment in my World History notebook. I am not sure how since my Biology notebook is larger than my World History notebook, but it happened. It was three full pages worth of writing, so that is not getting copied over. When I realized what I did, I laughed it off because I was shocked and amused that I had done that.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed completing the square + learned about general equations of circles + practice + honors work

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 19 Vocabulary + read chapter 29 of Emma by Jane Austen + reviewed figurative language terms + sentence types quiz (non-graded) + read through my next project (due next Tuesday)

Spanish 2 - Learned about passive voice + completed passive voice assignment

Bible I - Read Joshua 22

World History - Looked at a map of the Western Front + read about trench warfare + read a couple of articles (Angels of Mons and Chlorine Gas)

Biology with Lab - Completed global trends quiz + wrote a paragraph about what I would do to help solve one of the world's problems

Foundations - Read the definition of responsibility + completed Lumosity daily brain workout + completed identifying fact from opinion in advertising activity

Piano - Practiced for one hour

Khan Academy - Completed High School Geometry Unit 7: Lesson 3 (already assigned) + completed World History Unit 6: Lesson 3 (part 1)

CLEP - None today

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Completed Heartstopper: Volume 1

Chores - None today

Activities of the Day:

Extracurricular robotics course

Personal Bible Study (Genesis 31)

Ballet

Variations

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful to live somewhere where I have access to clean water, fresh, local foods, and low air pollution.

Quote of the Day:

We can’t know what’s going to happen. We can just try to figure it out as we go along.

-Amy and Roger’s Epic Detour, Morgan Matson

🎧Ballade No.1 in G minor, Op.23 - Frédéric Chopin

[danceworshipper]

Alexis Hornstagle - HPHL Character Profile

Alexis exists in a universe with 3 other ocs: Esme, Joshua, and Lukas

profile template is my own

Appearance Settings: Face 14, Skin tone 11, Hair/eyebrow color 5, Eye color 22, Complexion 4, Freckles 1, Scars 4, Hair style 12, Eyebrow shape 13, Voice 2

Personal

Backstory: Alexis was a normal muggle until the Incident - a werewolf found its way to her family gardens and attacked her soon after her 15th birthday, leaving her to die all alone. Luckily she was found by her poodle, who alerted the entire neighborhood. Alexis was treated by the family doctor, though how she survived is anyone's guess - perhaps the doctor knew something others didn't. Her first transformation the next month caused a violent magical outburst, after which she was taken away by the Ministry and experimented on, then later enslaved. She was allowed to return home shortly before her admittance to Hogwarts

Full Name: Alexis Gertrude Hornstagle

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Birthday: October 16th, 1874

Birthstone: Opal

Zodiac Sign: Libra

Blood Status: "Awakened" Muggle, werewolf

3 Positive Traits:

- Quick learner

- Ride or die loyalty

- Charming

3 Negative Traits:

- Self-obsessed

- Hot headed

- Materialistic

Appearance

Voice: Deep, clear

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Dark brown

Hair Style: Sleek bob with slight waves, left parted

Skin Tone: Tan, ruddy

Freckles/Spots: None

Scars: Scratches and bites all over. Very obvious scratch across left side of face

Piercings/Tattoos: None

Height: 5'3"

Physique: Long torso, just on the other side of thin, strong

Clothing Style: Regal, expensive, flattering, imposing. The only plain items in her wardrobe are the black gloves she wears at all times, with a rune stamped into the leather [blue riding clothes, dark arts gloves, legendary cape]

Magic

Wand: Hawthorn, 12.5", supple, dragon heartstring [spiral, ash brown, pink swirl arrow handle]

Broom: Wind Whisp

Boggart Form: A terrible, vicious werewolf with no full moon in sight

Amortentia (to others): Pine trees, soft blankets, and oranges

Amortentia (to her): Currently fire, hair product, and wildflowers. Later expensive cologne, dusty carpet, and melon

Patronus: Raven

Mirror of Erised: Her innocent eleven year old self smiling up at her, donned in Hogwarts Robes. This girl never had to be turned into a Dark Creature to awaken her magic

Werewolf Capabilities:

- Full wolf transformation during a full moon. Will attack anyone in sight if not properly restrained

- Enhanced hearing and sense of smell, more so around a full moon

- Night vision

- Sharp teeth

- Increased stamina

Inherent Magic:

- Ancient Magic capabilities

Extra Talents:

- Can cast nonverbally

- Can cast wandlessly if she removes her gloves, which is only allowed in emergencies

- Strong affinity for the Dark Arts

- Healing magic on others requires no spells/potions

Hogwarts

House: Hufflepuff

Quidditch: She's a decent enough flier and her heightened senses would give her an advantage, but her assignments and the full moon make being on a team impossible

Grades: Average. She's struggling to catch up

Favorite Class: History of Magic (she manages to find it fascinating, even if she reads the books on her own time and pays no attention in class like everyone else)

Least Favorite Class: Charms (as sweet as he is, Professor Ronen's lessons tend to give her pounding headaches due to the noise level)

Favorite Professor: Eleazar Fig (her mentor, and someone who always spoke out against how she was treated both in school and out)

Least Favorite Professor: Bai Howin (is not very subtle about wanting to study Alexis and almost accidentally reveals the secret many times)

Family

Mother: Laura Hornstagle, née Thompson, a woman who is sweet as can be to her family but suspicious and distrusting of everyone else

Father: Deacon Hornstagle, a well known lord with high public opinion whose work pulls him from his children far too often

Siblings: (all muggles)

- Prudence, 13, an outgoing sweetheart who is perfectly content to spend her days wandering the towns and gossiping

- Samantha, 10, a know-it-all bookworm who can't believe how lucky her sister is to get to study magic in a castle

- Augustus, 5, a sneaky troublemaker who always shares his loot amongst his sisters in exchange for their silence

- Olivia, 4, a somehow even sneakier little thing who can do absolutely no wrong in her parents' eyes

"Father" Figure: Faris Spavin, Minister of Magic, the man who owns Alexis and could at any moment call for her execution. Over the years he ends up fond of her, becoming kinder and granting her more freedoms - though she's still his soldier, and will never be released while he's in charge. Throughout her life as a soldier, Alexis is taught magic so dark that most people aren't even aware it exists. She is forced to do dirty work and put herself into situations where she's highly unlikely to survive. She's treated as subhuman because in the Ministry's eye, she is. Most dehumanizing, however, is how Alexis is forced to take sterilization potions from the moment she is "recruited" - though as she grows older, she comes to be very, very grateful for those potions. A werewolf could never carry a pregnancy to term, and she would never want to pass the curse on anyway

Pets: Creatures tend to be afraid of Alexis. The ones in the Vivariums grow used to her, but the only animal who truly likes her is her poodle, Lady, who she got just before the Incident. Lady found Alexis bleeding out on the ground and attempted to lick her wounds, accidentally forming a blood connection and becoming her familiar - this extends Lady's lifespan considerably, and allows them to communicate instinctually. This connection allowed Alexis to send Lady for help

Family Dynamic: The Hornstagles are beloved members of their community because of how in touch with the commoners they are. There are no hidden dark secrets - they truly are a lovely, close knit family that Alexis wishes she didn't put in danger by existing

Friendships

Introverted or Extroverted: Extroverted

Best Friend: Adelaide Oakes

- The first to introduce herself to the new girl and take a chance on her. Adelaide is sweet and doesn't pry, which is something Alexis appreciates immensely. They take care of each other and help each other with both personal issues and schoolwork. Adelaide and Alexis have 'sleepovers' often, which really just means sharing a bed and eating candy together while giggling

Frenemy: Natsai Onai

- Natty and Alexis get along well, they really do. It's just that Natty thinks Alexis is a coward for not fighting back against the Minister's orders, and Alexis thinks Natty is remarkably naive for someone who has seen the types of horrors that come with situations like the ones they all face. They can't seem to get past this

Friend She Didn't Expect: Is "any of them" a cop out answer?

- Alexis was pretty damn sure that someone like her - covered in scars, a mysterious past, a tangible dark aura, constant absences that no one will explain - would never have any friends in a place like Hogwarts. She's proven wrong

List of Good Friends:

- Lukas Froll

- Ominis Gaunt

- Joshua Jimmensong

- Sirona Ryan

- Sebastian Sallow

- Esme Taelceon

- Helen Thistlewood

- Sacharissa Tugwood

Romance

Past Partners: A couple of innocent young loves that simply weren't meant to be

Current Status: Single, crushing hard on Sebastian Sallow

Future Partner: Ominis Gaunt

Her Type: Someone who values their chosen family above all else and will do anything for them

Future

On July 4th, 1893, Alexis and Ominis are married. Ominis' parents, shockingly, approved the match themselves, though not for any noble reason; it was purely for the personal gain promised by the Minister. The two are married in a muggle ceremony as well to appease Alexis' parents a few days later (and Ominis' never find out, despite both of his siblings attending)

In 1895, Alexis grows bold enough to waltz into Azkaban and free Sebastian. Supposedly, the Minister ordered for his release. He did no such thing, though he agrees to let Alexis owe him a rather large favor when he discovers what she's done. Sebastian is a broken man now, and doesn't leave the room he's given in Alexis and Ominis' home for over a year other than occasionally stepping out to gaze at the stars

In 1903, Minister Spavin steps down and Venusia Crickerly is voted into office. The new Minister releases Alexis' contract, though keeps her under employment as an Unspeakable. The job is the same but she is allowed much more freedom

In 1906, Alexis and Ominis flee the country with their nieces after Ominis' sister Lilith is killed. They set up in America with very minimal contact to anyone back home - Alexis is now considered feral and Aurors are authorized to kill on sight, and Ominis has been disowned, not to mention the technical kidnapping. Either of them could be killed if the wrong people find out where they are, especially Ominis' brother Marvolo

[thislovintime]

Peter Tork with his brothers, Chris and Nick.

(Photo 1) “It shows Peter, when he was 14, with his arms around his brothers Chris (four years) and Nick (twelve), in the living room of Wynward Hill Farm in Williamantic, Conn. ('The Thread Capitol of America'!). Peter was a freshman at Wyndham High School when this picture was taken.” - Catherine McGuire Straus, 16 Magazine, December 1967

(Photo 2) Taken by their sister, Anne.

(Photo 3) Peter’s yearbook photo, E.O. Smith School, Class of 1959

“When I was in junior high school, I was a punk. I wanted people to love and admire me for my gentle wit, my talented music-making and my beauty of personality. Instead I was loathsome and irritating and quarrelsome and I didn’t know why people didn’t like me. But I began to think and meditate on it. Meditation is the only way the personality can be improved, and gradually I began to work things out and better myself. I like to give someone as many ‘different sheets of music paper’ as I can — behave differently toward him each time I see him. That is the only way someone can know what the real me is like. You can’t know the real me by only talking to me. I believe that you can tell more about people by the way they looking walking away from you than you can by what they say. In the highest sense, I think a human life is art, that art includes all expression. The way I play a guitar expresses something, and the way I scratch my thigh expresses something. I think my guitar music is good; that is where I haven’t made any compromises. I think it really expresses me. And it’s going to be better. Our new Colgems album is a terrific thing. Everything you do is an accumulation of everything you have done in your life. If each action could be fully understood, it would explain everything about you. That is the ideal. In everything is its opposite. If you curse with great violence, there’s a tiny spot in which your gentleness appears, and if you say, ‘I love you,’ with great tenderness and passion, there is also an indication of hostility and anger.” - Peter Tork, Seventeen, August 1967

“Windham resident Terry LaVoie said she and Tork went to Windham High School together and were, eventually, members of the first graduating class at E.O. Smith High School in 1959. She said she has known him since seventh-grade. ‘He was a lot of fun,’ LaVoie said, referring to him as a ‘class clown’ who loved to do small pranks. She recalled attending Tork’s 13th birthday party and she was the only girl there, other than his sister, Anne Thorkelson. LaVoie said his mother gave her a potholder to embroider as a party favor and she had it for many years, though it eventually wore out. She saw him perform at the old Shaboo Inn in Mansfield, which John co-owned with David Foster and others, as well as at The Monkees 30th reunion show at the Oakdale Theatre in Wallingford. ‘To me, he was still just a person,’ LaVoie said, noting she got a VIP pass and talked to him backstage at the Oakdale show. Tork gave back to various local charities over the years, including performing in a Battle of the Bands benefit show for E.O. Smith, a benefit for Joshua’s Trust in Ashford in October 2010 and a fundraiser at the Willimantic Elks Club in April 2010 for Bailey’s Garden in Lebanon.” - The Chronicle, February 22, 2019

In connection with this topic, Peter's advice to a high school student in 1969.

[dadbodbobby]

RBALC Dreamshow Challenge 2023!

Show Name: It Takes A (Working) Village

Assigned Cast:

1. 9-1-1 - Angela Bassett (64)

2. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters - Jeremy Renner (52)

3. Gilmore Girls - Keiko Agena (49)

4. Family Matters - Jaleel White (46)

5. Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - Chris Pine (42)

6. Star Trek Beyond - Zoe Saldaña (45)

7. Baby Daddy - Melissa Peterman (51)

Added Cast:

1. One Day at a Time (2017) - Justina Machado (50)

Show Bible:

A neighborhood full of hard working people and their families from different walks of life have become unlikely friends. It’s these friendships that help everyone get through the triumphs and tribulations of life.

The main focus is on mixed race Latino parents, played by Jeremy Renner and Justina Machado, as they try and navigate their biracial family in tough times.

Character Description:

Jeremy Renner-Joshua Prescott, husband of Pepa Sarto-Prescott, is a 9-1-1 dispatcher who comes from a very loving but broken family. He must readjust to life after a horrible accident nearly killed him. He juggles this with raising his kids, supporting his wife in her endeavors, and dealing with past traumas in therapy. Joshua is biracial, primarily German, but has Irish and Panamanian on his mother’s side. He speaks fluent Spanish, and happens to be Hard of Hearing.

Justina Machado-Josephina (Pepa) Sarto-Prescott. A seamstress and Joshua’s wife, who is his number #1 supporter in his recovery. She juggles this with running her sewing business, raising her kids, and her life outside of work and family. She’s a first generation Puerto Rican-American, and speaks Spanish fluently as well.

Angela Bassett-Lenora Wilde. Pepa’s closest friend and confidant, who reminds Pepa of Clairee from Steel Magnolias. Charming, intelligent, loving, yet almost high with how she acts. She has no children, but it’s by choice. They go to the same support group for women (particularly women of color), and bond over their experiences. She is also a seamstress, working at Pepa’s boutique.

Zoe Saldaña-Megan Perez-Carter. George’s wife. She is a proud Afro-Latina woman, who passes on her Dominican traditions to her kids. She’s a pharmacist.

Jaleel White-George Carter. Megan’s husband. He is an ER nurse at the local hospital.

Keiko Agena-Violet Matsuda-Waller. Wife of Jesse. Japanese American. She and her husband helped the Prescott family a lot in the time after Joshua’s accident. She’s Joshua’s boss, and an experienced 9-1-1 dispatcher. Godmother to the Prescott children.

Chris Pine-Jesse Waller. He is Agnostic Jewish. Husband of Violet. He and his wife helped the Prescott family a lot in the time after Joshua’s accident. He is a chef at the town diner. Usually the mastermind behind neighborhood potlucks. Godfather to the Prescott children.

Melissa Peterman-Betty Geller. Kooky single lady who is man crazy, and knows she’s quote unquote “hot stuff.” Best friends with Pepa and Angela Bassett’s character. She works as Pepa’s assistant, but mostly cleans. She loves to gossip.

The Prescott Family:

Rory Joshua Prescott-14, eighth grade, the oldest son of Joshua and Pepa. He’s a talented soccer player who has a budding interest in journalism. He’s the spitting image of Joshua, including being left handed and needing reading glasses. Rory might not have the most common sense, but he does alright in school. However he’s painfully shy, and ends up getting diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.

Marisol Josephina Prescott-13, seventh grade, the oldest daughter of Joshua and Pepa. She is in the process of converting to Judaism, and an excellent dancer. She sometimes struggles with her school work, but nothing a little tutoring won’t help. Definitely more street smart than her brother. She’s her daddy’s girl all the way. Dreams of becoming a professional mermaid.

Boy-6 Shares Joshua’s childhood passion for astrology.

Boy-4 Typical adorable four year old. Innocently says “Hi,” whenever he enters a room.

Girl-6 months. Traumatic birth because she was an unknown pregnancy.

Series Opening Theme: https://youtu.be/15gT9HByEN4

Season One: 25 Episodes

Pilot: “Starting In 5, 4, 3,…”: Rory joins the school paper and Marisol is accepted to the varsity dance team. Joshua and Violet deal with a batch of new recruits at work.

Of Dresses and Lunches: Pepa and Lenore take on a wedding party. Jesse decides to open a part time catering business.

Working Man: Joshua and Pepa must work overtime to pay for higher expenses. George must deal with racism from a transfer doctor at the hospital. *Features “Working Man” by Imagine Dragons. https://youtu.be/vi2vBDVEYyY

Megan’s Choice: Megan must choose between the rules and her morals when a disabled woman is unable to receive insurance help on her medication. Features “Dreams” by The Cranberries. https://youtu.be/Yam5uK6e-bQ

Watch Your Words: Betty creates quite the ruckus when she spreads a rumor about Pepa’s father and the mayor. Lenora and Jesse try pot brownies.

Notable Scene: {Opening of the pilot: Shot of the exterior of the Prescott house, sunrise. Cut to the master bedroom, where Joshua and Pepa are in bed, asleep. The alarm goes off, earning groans from both. Pepa rolls over to shut off the alarm, and they both sit up. They take a moment, then stand up to start the day. Pepa goes to wake the kids and Joshua starts his morning PT. This segment is set to XTC’s “Work Enough for Us.” https://youtu.be/QeDDQqO9kWo}

Costumes:

Character Pictures:

Sets:

[fairytalesandfandoms]

anyway, some backstory for recent posts

Surpising emotions about rediscovering an old interest

under a cut because 1) length 2) Homestuck is mentioned and I get the impression some people don’t like it very much.

Let us turn back the clock to spring 2008. I was in high school and my Standard Grade exams were just a couple of months away. I had a lot of favourite media, but relevant to this story are examples such as: Treasure Planet, Dan Brown books (which I have definitely left behind in that era, but for a while they were definitely A Thing in my brain), Operation Red Jericho by Joshua Mowll, The Mummy, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Pirates of the Caribbean and Indiana Jones. Hopefully you’re sensing a theme here: I would absolutely devour anything with an adventure/mystery combo, especially if it involved codes, maps, riddles, secret organisations etc. And one day, probably a weekend afternoon, we switched on the TV to find this film was on.

And that film... was National Treasure. And surpise surprise, during the scene inside the Charlotte (and over the course of the rest of the film) I got attached to Ben Gates like a limpet.

Things then followed a pattern which had already become very predictable in my life. I liked a character, which then quickly merged into liking an actor (in this case, Nicolas Cage) and of course then Special Interest Brain dictated that I then had to watch as many of his films as I could. Over the next few years I saw... pitifully few of them, now I’ve finally got up the nerve to look on IMDb, but enough to make it a thing (6 before I went off to uni). Unfortunately, because I am notoriously bad at keeping my interests to myself whether I want to or not, my family inevitably finds out within, like, a week of any new obsession, which as a teenager embarrassed me very greatly (and still does a bit). My mum did try to relate to me with such things (she even got my dad to watch one of the National Treasure movies but I don’t think he was that bothered about it tbh), but that usually only made me awkward because I was watching things with my mum and it was embarrassing.

My Nicolas Cage-watching would get one last hurrah in 2010, when I went to see the university film society’s screening of Kick-Ass in freshers’ week. Again, obsessed. Obsessed enough to go as Hit Girl for Halloween that year, but we all know the drill by now - the highkey messed-up (but my kind of messed-up character, with a tragic backstory, incredible combat skills and a cardigan) Damon Macready was really the blorbo of choice.

But what happened then? Why did I go from this high point to trying to avoid mentioning Nicolas Cage as much as possible? Two words: ‘the’ and ‘internet’.

I was already aware that some of Cage’s films were, to put it bluntly. not great. I had felt the cringe a bit even as a teenager, but I soldiered on. However, when I discovered social media and other similar websites, all the memes and jokes and so on made me even more embarrassed about it, and I felt like no one should ever know because I was worried that then even people whose opinions I respected would just laugh at me and tell me I had no taste, and other things of that nature. Some of those jokes were probably exaggerated for comic effect, but I’m really bad at judging tone and to me they read as straightforward mockery or dislike.

Fast-forward to 2023, a week or two ago. I have just moved to a new flat and have no wifi yet. But clever me thinks “ah, but I have the Unofficial Homestuck Collection saved to my laptop, which requires no internet, and the whole new-job-new-flat hassle means I did get behind on my routine catch-up reading. Let’s do that.”

Those of you who are familiar with Homestuck probably knew where this was going as soon as you read the word in this post. For those of you who don’t know, one of the main characters in Homestuck loves the movie Con Air. It’s referenced at least a few times (I’ve just started Act 5, so there may be more to come). There’s one scene (pp. 1660-1666, CW for some ableist language on the last page) that just really made me emotional because it connected this film with the friendship of two of the characters, and it was like a switch was flipped back on in my brain. Or more like pulling down one of those giant switches they pull down to give electricity to Frankenstein. I felt like I had gone through the cringe and come out the other side. I had to watch Kick-Ass and I had to watch it now. Or at least as soon as I got a free two-hour block of time. 

And then after a few days of reliving autumn 2010 (complete with Lady Gaga songs), I had to watch National Treasure. And I vowed that as soon as I got wifi I would watch The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, which I had made myself avoid when it was first out. And now I have. I’m not quite on Javi’s level, because 1) I don’t have Javi’s budget and 2) I would have drawn the line at the sequinned cushion. But let me tell you, teenage me would have gone absolutely feral at that movie. I probably would’ve felt like I shouldn’t be allowed to watch the sauna and pool scenes, for a start. (Thankfully, I’ve become more chill and less wound-up about that sort of thing, relatively speaking.) But god, I had to really get up my nerve to make that ‘what is the internet’s opinion’ post. Now I’ve done that, and gone to the tags in a roundabout way by searching for related movies first and then tag-hopping, it’s a lot less scary. I even managed to look up IMDb, and ignore my brain shouting ‘THE SEARCH ENGINE WILL JUDGE YOU’.

So, my Nic Cage obsession is back “not that [it] went anywhere” (yes, that’s a reference to The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent). More to come, if I can find good content. Unless he gets overtaken by Good Omens

And in the spirit of the aforementioned Homestuck character, I leave you with Rosie, referencing a story I haven’t finished reading and a film I have never seen (YET. BUT SOON).

[octobersbookblog]

Book List

Pre-K through 6th Grade

• Graphic Novel – Snapdragon by Kat Leyh • Bluebonnet – Roller Girl by Victoria Jamieson • Texas 2×2 – Solitary Animals: Introverts of the Wild, illustrated by Dominique Ramsey, written by Joshua David Stein • Coretta Scott King winner – The Talk, illustrated by Briana Mukodiri Uchendu, written by Alicia D. Williams • Pura Belpre winner – They Call Me Güero: A Border Kid’s Poems by David Bowles • Caldecott Medal book – We Are Water Protectors, illustrated by Michaela Goade, written by Carole Lindstrom • Informational or Biography – Radiant Child: The Story of Young Artist Jean-Michel Basquiat by Javaka Steptoe • Disability or Differences – I Am Not a Label: 34 Disabled Artists, Thinkers, Athletes and Activists from Past and Present by Cerrie Burnell • Poetry or Novel in Verse – Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodson • LGBTQ+ – Melissa by Alex Gino

7th through 12th Grade

• Printz winner or Printz Honor book – The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas • Banned or Challenged book – All Boys Aren’t Blue by George M. Johnson • LGBTQ+ – The Lesbiana’s Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes • Romance – Flip the Script by Lyla Lee • Graphic Novel – Komi Can’t Communicate, Volume 1 by Tomohito Oda

[glitxhwayventeen]

The Taken One

Kun

Characters: Kun x female reader

Warnings: mentions of childhood abuse, hints at past sexual assault by a family member, mentions of cheating, mentions of hunger and food, mentions of women not being allowed to do much because the governments shit, mentions of war, mentions of running away, mentions of an animal attack on a human (though not super graphic), mentions of passive suicidal ideations, mentions of parental death, dark humor about it tbh, sort of cheating but also not?, I think that’s all but let me know if i missed anything!

Author’s Note: This pairs with Joshua’s The Taken One as well, with Joshua’s first part going first then Kun’s. Then the same goes for part two. Prepare to be sad. She’s a long one folks.

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Watch It All Burn Masterlist

The Taken One: Part 2

Joshua’s The Taken One: Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3

Mostly 🥀

Bold= Korean Dialogue Italics= Thoughts Pink= Cantonese Red=Mandarin Green=English

Tag List-

You had known Kun a long time. Everyone said you were the power couple. The ‘it’ couple. The couple that couldn’t be broken no matter what obstacles tried to throw themselves in your way. Who could’ve known that they could all have been so wrong?

You first met him when you were in school. Well, when you were sort of in school. You had known of him for most of your life since he was all anyone at your school had ever wanted to talk about. But he wasn’t in your grade. You were one grade below him and, even though you took advanced classes for your age, your paths never really crossed until one faithful day when he caught you walking through the woods with your backpack on.

Normally, Kun wouldn’t have thought twice about seeing a girl walking around with her backpack on her back out of the corner of his eye while he was playing a ball game in his schoolyard with some of his friends.

But because of the growing war tensions, many laws had recently changed. One of such laws made it to where women weren’t allowed to learn in a public setting anymore. Nothing specifically said they couldn’t learn, but the new conservative policies definitely put severe and direct restrictions over what women could and couldn’t do.

When Kun saw a small girl struggling to carry her school bag after the law was put in place, his first instinct wasn’t to run and tell a teacher that there was a girl breaking policy, it was to run and hide the girl out of sight so she wouldn’t get caught.

He and his family thought the law was stupid and should’ve never been implemented. He grew up with a sympathetic father who was saddened by the struggles of others and a strong willed ‘do it yourself’ mother who didn’t like when bad things happened to others. In turn, they taught their son to always protect and care for others even if his own life could’ve been put at risk, just as they themselves would.

So he knew immediately that he had to help her. He quickly dismissed himself from his game on the premise of having a leg cramp and bolted to the edge of the woods as soon as no one was looking.

He ran for what seemed like forever until he stumbled upon a very sad, very distressed smaller girl: you.

You were quietly sobbing into your hands while you sat on a tree stump with a bag stuffed so full of stuff, he was worried it would burst with any sudden movement from you.

“H-Hello, are-are you okay?” Kun practically whispered, trying to keep his tone down not just to not worry you but also so he wouldn’t raise any nearby alarms about a girl so close to school grounds.

You immediately darted up from your sitting position with wide eyes, allowing him to see the cuts and bruises on your face, and ducked behind the back of the stump, knowing full well that being caught would mean certain death for you.

Though you weren’t sure if at 12 years old you even cared at that point about whether you lived or died, you did know you didn’t want to die as vicious a means to an end as death by firing squad. You had already been through and gone through so much unnecessary and painful abuse and trauma. You weren’t sure if you could handle such a violent death too.

“It’s- It’s okay. I won’t hurt you or turn you in.” The boy promised, causing you to peak up from your hiding place just enough to see if you could tell if he was being honest or not.

You were met with a handsome boy in a slightly crouched, less menacing position. But based on his height and demeanor you figured he was probably a year or two older than you. You thought you vaguely recognized him but you couldn’t place a name to his face.

You did note, however, that his deep dimples and starry eyes held nothing but earnesty and compassion in them, “I don’t know if you know me or not, but my name’s Kun. Qian Kun.”

Oh. You definitely knew his name alright. Everybody knew him. He was a goody goody teacher's pet that did whatever he could to get ahead to some. To others, he was just a kind and thoughtful misunderstood boy who’d do anything for anyone and not ask for anything in return. But how could you know which version you’d heard about him was the truth?

Kun understood your hesitation and reluctance. Not only did he not recognize you, meaning you had most likely never met, but you probably didn’t know what to think of him.

He knew the stories surrounding him and you were probably trying to decipher which were true and which weren’t. Because being wrong could’ve meant being executed for you.

He could practically see you shaking with fear. It made his heart twist in his chest uncomfortably. He’d never felt such… sorrow for someone else before. You were trembling in fear and looked like you lost to someone in a fighting match even though you were so young. It didn’t seem fair to him that you were put in the position you were in, whatever that position was.

But because it was only a matter of time before someone noticed he was missing himself, he decided to play his odds and be direct with you, “Look, i know you must be scared. But why would I have told you my name if I was gonna turn you in? Even if you believe everything people say about me, you must know that even the informers can get in trouble sometimes too.”

You couldn’t deny that he had a point. Some people would go out of their way to find citizens who were breaking the law to turn them in for the reward money.

But you always thought it was stupid of them. Everyone had heard the countless stories of all parties involved going missing or being murdered simply because they stood next to someone who broke a law or because the government wanted to keep the whole thing quiet so they could pretend everything was just peachy throughout your country. But how could you be sure the boy was actually there to help you?

There were just as many cases of the informer being awarded money or much needed ration cards for turning people in after tricking them into thinking they would help harbor them. He could’ve easily just been trying to gain your trust so he could do the same, you didn’t know. So you opted to stay silent.

“I’m just trying to help you. I swear! You shouldn’t be around here. They’re patrolling more and more. You need to get out of here!” He pleaded quietly with you, but you couldn’t help but still worried.

You were always taught men were bad. You were shown that men were bad. That’s why you were out in the first place. And even if you did believe the boy, you didn’t have anywhere else to go.

You didn’t want to go back home. You wouldn’t go back home. You couldn’t go back home. After this last time, you promised yourself you’d break free and that’s exactly what you did. You threw your most important and necessary items in your old school bag and ran for it. You figured you could run away to a new country. Somewhere where people wouldn’t hurt you for sport. Somewhere where women and children had a say and were protected. Somewhere better.

Kun had just caught you in the middle of some much needed rest from your night of running and crying. Now, you faced each other as he tried to convince you trust him.

But before either of you could make any move at all, you both heard tire tracks hitting the dirt road not too far from where you were. And they were getting closer. Much closer.

Out of desperation, Kun ran and jumped over the tree stump. He crouched over you so his chest hit your back (which was of course covered by your backpack), wrapped his arms around you and threw you both into a rather large bush with him landing on the ground first before you could try anything that would’ve no doubt gotten you both killed.

Once you were both settled in the bush, you were practically in his lap with how you landed, he trapped his hand over your mouth and whispered for you to be quiet.

Almost as if on cue, you heard a car stop not too far from the bush you found yourself in and listened as soldiers got out. Though you could hear a group of them talking in mandarin. But, as you weren’t as fluent in mandarin as you were in your mother tongue of cantonese, you didn’t really understand what they were saying.

The voices were using a very formal way of speaking and a much more developed vocabulary than you had learned. Mandarin itself was already very hard for you as the language was very differently set up than your own. But you had only just begun taking lessons in it a year ago, when it had been mandated by the state that every Chinese citizen be required to speak it in public at all times in yet another new law.

Since you stopped going to school so early on in your teachings, your progress in the language all but stopped. So you hadn’t become proficient enough in it to be confident you understood what even fellow young students said, let alone what a bunch of adult soldiers said.

But as his arm tightened around you and his legs moved to cover your balled up body, part of you knew he could and realized he was doing his best to shield you from whatever could’ve been coming by using his body as some sort of a chrysalis around you. The move probably would’ve made your heart beat a little faster had it not already been pumping like crazy from terror.

Neither of moved. You were both hardly even breathing. As you heard the footsteps and their shoe crunching getting closer and closer, you were worried you’d freak out just from the sheer horrifying thought of the soldiers catching you and you didn’t want to risk potentially exposing the both of you when you could’ve still had a chance to get away.

So you decided to find something, anything, to focus on that wasn’t them. You landed on Kun’s rapid heart beating behind you, something you could still somehow hear despite your bag creating what almost certainly was at minimum six inches between your back and his chest.

Even though the both of you were the most scared you had ever been in your young lives, for some reason being in the situation with him made you feel less worried. Hearing his heartbeat so close to your own gave you a sense of comfort and security you had never had before that moment.

Sure you were downright terrified that the soldiers were gonna come and shoot you both. But for some weird reason, some part of you thought you wouldn’t have minded if the both of you met your end there so long as you had each other.

It was quite a while before the shoe crunching and footsteps went away. It seemed like hours till you heard their car turn back on and drive off. At least, that’s what it felt like. But once the elder of you deemed it save, he slowly uncoiled himself from around you and checked to see if the coast was clear. Once he realized it was, he fully got out of it and then turned his attention to helping you get back out as well.

Which itself proved a challenge as the near brush with danger left young you feeling as though your legs were jello and made your body feel faint. After a try or two he managed to sit you back down on the stump you had previously used to hide from him with so you could try and calm down.

While you were trying to steady your breathing again, he finally was able to get a real look at you. Sure he caught a small glimpse in the .03 seconds he had before you went straight to panicking at the site of him, but it didn’t give him enough time to realize you were actually kinda… cute.

Your long jet black hair now had little twigs and even a small leaf in it, your what he could tell were naturally large amber colored eyes were now widened even further from the shock of the military men trying to catch you, and the scarlet lips he had previously held behind his palm to keep you from giving away your location were now protruded into a child like pout.

He realized you probably weren’t much younger than him, or at least would probably be considered taller than most girls your age based on the fact that you weren’t really super short.

But something he definitely couldn’t help but notice was that you smelt amazing, like fresh linens with a hint of daisies, even though the both of you had literally spent the past hour hiding to save your lives. He figured his 13 year old self must’ve smelt nowhere near as good as you from the sweat that had formed due to the stress of him trying to keep you both alive.

“H-hello…?” You gently spoke to gain his attention in the sweetest little voice he had ever heard in his life.

Once he realized that you must’ve been trying to get his attention and that he had more than likely zoned out while staring at you, he jumped out of his trance, “uh- um sorry. W-What did you say?”

“I said: you should probably go. They’ll… probably come back and uh… I’m sure you don’t want to be here when they do.” You suggested, refusing to look him in the eye and instead determined to keep your eyes on your now cut up legs.

They were pretty banged up from the long walking and the suddenness of being thrown into hiding. And that’s not all. You had small cuts and bruises everywhere, you tights were snagged, the arm of your dress shirt was ripped, and you could’ve sworn you had some sort of new rather large cut on your forehead based on the dripping stinging feeling you were feeling.

Though, you weren’t trying to seem ungrateful for him saving you. Far from it, you were trying to thank him for saving your life by saving his life.

They’d probably come back again since they were cracking down on people even harder now. You didn’t want him around again for that since he still had a chance.

And the more you though about it, the more you realized you definitely couldn’t go home and really only had two options: let the soldiers find you and hopefully give you a quick death with a bunch of guns or starve to death slowly on the streets. You opted for the first of the two so you’d have less of a chance of suffering.

Kun moved around uncomfortably in his spot, “Oh… right. Yeah they’ll- they’ll probably be back soon. We should go.” He agreed, putting his hand out to help you off the stump like the gentlemen he was raised to be.

But instead of grabbing it to get up, you kindly pushed it down and shook your head, “No,” You simply stated, “You… You should go. I’m staying here.”

“What do you mean you’re staying here? You know what just happened. It’s not safe! We need to go!” He insisted in a haste, trying to pull you up from the stump using the closest arm of yours he could grab.

But you refused to leave your spot and grabbed onto the top of the tree stump with your free arm, so his efforts were much to no avail.

“Stop it,” you hissed through thickly accented mandarin, “I-I can’t go anywhere.”

“And why on earth not?” Kun questioned, still using as much strength as his tired body would let him in his current state to get you up out of your seat.

“Because- I… I have no where else to go okay?” You tried to pull your arm from his grasp but you soon realized he was too strong, so you instead settled for giving him the evil eye.

With your new statement though, he dropped your arm in shock anyways, “W-What do you mean you have nowhere else to go…?” He asked softly, now with saddened eyes.

He didn’t know you, but something about him already had him having a small crush on you. Which was stupid considering neither of you were really in a position to be making google eyes at each other, but he figured it was his teenage hormones. Either way, that same part of him didn’t like the way you said what you said and gave him a bad feeling in his gut.

“I… I won’t go home,” You spoke slowly as you tried to think of the correct words to say in mandarin, “It’s… not safe there.” You answered, once again refusing to look the strange boy in the eyes, “And since I’d just… go hungry living on the street, I’d… rather go down by the- oh what’s the word? The firing squad.”

Kun didn’t understand. Why were those what you saw as your only two options? Why did you choose those as your two options? Why would you choose to die? Didn’t you realize your parents were probably scared out of their minds looking for you?

“Why the firing squad?” He asked.

He was honestly just trying to scare you into backing down and going back home. He didn’t think you had thought out what you were saying properly and that bringing the idea back up may shock you into rethinking your whole statement. He didn’t think you thought any of of what you said through.

“At least it’s quick.”

Kun was in absolute disbelief. And if he hadn’t been in disbelief from your actual words, the look of pure acceptance on your face was enough to leave him completely dumbfounded.

Because he realized you had actually really thought it through. But what could’ve been so awful at your home that made you want to commit second hand suicide than to return? What in the world could’ve made you think that that was a better alternative than living at home with your parents.

“You’d prefer to be shot than to just go back home to your loving parents?” He asked a question, again just more trying to scare you than anything.

You nodded and answered in a tiny, “Yes.”

Kun was borderline in tears at that point. How could you in all your childishness think dying was better than going home to your family? He could never leave his parents. He loved them. And he knew they loved him. So how could you just get up and leave people who loved you so much?

“But… Why?” He quizzed quietly.

“Because my father he… he loves me too much…” you quivered barely above a whisper.

Part of you wasn’t even sure if the older boy heard what you said. Part of you hoped that he hadn’t so you didn’t have to live through the shame of telling your story out loud. But it just… slipped out.

He wasn’t sure what you meant by your statement at the time. He wasn’t even sure why you were crying as you said it or why you brought your legs up to your chest and began rocking back and forth. But it gave him an ominous feeling he had never quite felt before.

He didn’t know who you were, and he still wasn’t really sure of why you didn’t want to go home. But if you didn’t want to go to your home, surely he couldn’t just leave you out in the open to be found by soldiers by yourself.

So the older boy thought for a moment as he watched you, trying to decide what to do.

But in the end, he could only think of one option, “Well if you won’t go back to your home, why don’t you come back to mine?”

You quickly stopped your mini breakdown at the boys suggestion, wiped your tears, and sniffled to clear your throat, “W-what?”

“If you won’t go back to your home, why don’t you come back to mine? At least for the night. That way you’ll at least get some food and a warm bed to think on it for a little while.”

And that was how you found yourself at Kun’s house sitting in his room while him and his parents spoke in the living room without him having even known your name or where you came from.

——

You honestly only agreed to go with him because you figured best case scenario: you’d get a warm meal and bed for the night, Worst case scenario: they’d tell you to leave immediately at their son’s crazy idea. At that point you really had nothing to lose. It wasn’t like Kun was gonna take no for an answer and chances were that his parents would just throw you out and you’d be on your own anyways. What was the harm?

But to your ultimate shock though, even though they were fairly hesitant at first, after their little family talk they let you stay with them. Kun’s mom made dinner and you were able to have some like he said you’d be able to.

Had you’ve actually eaten that week, you’d have been slower eating and been more careful with your manners like you’d been taught. But the smell of an actual home cooked meal coupled with the grumbling knife feeling in your belly practically made you a wild animal at their dinner table.

You were sure after that little stunt they’d have kicked you out because of your unintended disrespect. But they didn’t.

They let you stay the night in Kun’s room and he instead took the couch in the living room. It was strange, having an actual bed to sleep in. It was soft and cloud like. The blankets were warm and inviting. And the pillow they gave you was calling your name. It made it easy to fall asleep.

But then you woke up screaming from another one of your nightmares. You’d had nightmares nearly every night of your short life back then, that night was no exception. And that’s when you were positive your luck had ran out and you’d be back on the streets in an hour.

Though instead of being angry at you for disturbing their sleep, the Qians were nothing but concerned for you. Kun’s mom even cradled you and sang old Hokkien songs from her childhood to get you to go back to sleep.

When morning came, you fully prepared yourself for them to throw you out as soon as daylight hit. You got all of your things repacked in your bag and got dressed for the long journey ahead of you before the Qian’s had even woken up themselves. You ended up falling back asleep waiting for them to come and tell you to leave.

But they never did. In fact, you didn’t wake up from the exhausting night before until Kun had already been in school for three hours and Mr. Qian had already gone to work.

Ms. Qian said that they figured it was best to just let you stay asleep after the day you’d had and she made you some eggs. She asked you a lot of questions about you and your life. She didn’t push you to answer them, but she was too welcoming a person to ever deny her answers. So you told her the truth. The whole truth, which was something you hadn’t ever done before with anyone.

When you were done you were a bawling whining mess and told her you’d understand if they wanted you gone as soon as possible. You told her you wouldn’t blame them in the slightest if she decided to throw you and your things to the curb the very next second.

But instead, she pulled you in for the most loving hug you’d ever had, possibly the only real hug you even remembered at the time, and told you you were welcome to stay for as long as you’d liked.

It wasn’t something that was uncommon. During the war, no one really cared about kids so they could do basically whatever they wanted as long as they didn’t break any laws. Millions went missing. Thousands got jobs or left schools. Hundreds moved to new families. Somehow, you happened to be all three.

Your father reported you missing of course because he was a twisted controlling man, but since the cops didn’t care about even their own kids, they didn’t care about his. You had to leave school because the government said the only role women had during the war was to bare children, to become housewives, or to prepare for their future duty to do both. And you became part of the Qian family.

And it was a good family. Mr. And Mrs. Qian loved each other just as much as they doted and loved their son. Their happy family environment took you a long time to get used to since you’d never had one like it before. But once you did, you were glad you got to witness it. Eventually when you were comfortable enough just seeing them be the sweet family they were, they also had you really become a apart of it.

They began treating you like the daughter they never had but always secretly wanted.

Mr. Qian was quiet and reserved but always had some stupid dad joke ready that seemed to make all the worried of the day all better and helped to tutor you for the subjects you’d missed in school so that you’d be able to continue whenever the war was over and the stupid law was reversed.

Mrs. Qian showed you how to cook, play musical instruments, and taught you all about herbal Chinese medicine and supposed potions to pass the time. They acted like you had been born into the family, something you’d never expected because they already had their own son. But they always told you that their son saw you as his family, and being his family meant you were their family.

Whenever you asked Kun what they’d meant by that or why he considered you his family when you were going through his homework for the day, he just shrugged and told you it was just a feeling he had. And for some reason that answer made you feel incredibly loved and cared for, you weren’t sure why either.

——

About a year into your staying with them, you and the Qian’s went to the park to get some fresh air, something that was only permitted on weekends by the new government as during the week it could’ve been considered a distraction. It was rare that Mr. Qian could get time off work for family time, so everyone was pretty excited.

You and Kun decided to go down by the Min River just off the park to skip rocks, something he was shocked to hear you’d never done before. He had only just finished helping you glide a small stone through the water successfully when you started hearing noises from behind a tree.

At first, you thought nothing of it. But then you notice that Kun was standing straighter and more rigid than usual. Even then, you didn’t think much of it. You figured maybe he was starting to get tired or maybe he had something on his mind.

It wasn’t until the hairs on his arms began to stand up and a growl like sound emitted past his chest that you really noticed something serious was going on with him.

Just as you were going to ask him what was wrong with him, you heard a voice you had prayed to a higher power you didn’t even believe in that you’d never have to hear again.

“So this is what you’ve been doing all this time my little ________?”

Immediately you turned on your heels, hoping the voice you heard hadn’t actually materialized into existence behind you.

But it did. He did. And once your fears were confirmed with your very eyes, you thought you’d pass out from the sheer anxiety and terror that suddenly started to radiate through your body.

“F-father I-” You couldn’t help but stutter in your native language out of habit, you didn’t seem to have control over your words, or your legs based on the buckling state of your knees for that matter.

“You ran away from home-” your father seethed as he started coming closer to you.

Which was something that had you attempting to walk backwards to gain some distance. But the previously peaceful scenery around you betrayed you once your feet soon stumbled upon the river’s dirt edge. You had no where to go.

“You worried your mother and I sick-” the closer he got to you, the more you’d wished you’d never had gone with Kun that day.

You wished you could’ve taken back the whole year of happiness and love because now you had to deal with a year of your father’s repressed rage and abuse. You suddenly wished you’d never ran away and that you just stayed back in your old home. You wanted to die everyday your father came near you, but at least you knew what you could expect of his treatment of you.

“Made us file a police report-” His everyday fury was enough to cripple the strongest man.

You didn’t want to even think of what he’d do to do now that he’d found you. Would he force you home? Would he hit you in public? Would he just kill you already and get it over with? Part of you already knew he’d never let you go, but part of you also hoped he’d just put you out of your misery before it started.

“All to be goofing off with some boy? Are you kidding me ________?! What’s our rule about men huh?! Huh!?” You debated whether or not jumping into the seemingly never ending river to end it all would be an option.

You knew he could swim and you couldn’t. And you also knew your father was definitely the type of man that would save you only so he could continue to torture you for the rest of your life. So it seemed like a pointless move. You’d never be free of him. He’d never let you go.

As he got within a five foot radius of you, you looked around for Kun so you could at least get one last glance of the boy that had given you the best year of your life, so you could say goodbye to the boy who had kindly taken you in when you had no where to go. You wanted to catch a glimpse of him for the last time to let your eyes express to him the words you had never gotten to say to him: i love you.

But you soon realized he was nowhere to be found. As much as you wanted to whine out loud at the thought of not getting a chance to see him before your fate was sealed, you knew it was for the best. You didn’t want him to see what would happen to you, whatever it was.

You gulped once you could perfectly see your father’s nostrils flaring, “I- I-” you tried to answer in the hopes of lessening the anger he felt towards you, but your words and voice still failed you.

You hoped Kun got to his parents. That he ran to them as soon as he realized it was your father who had interrupted your private moment together.

“Well ________?!?” Your father exploded, getting so close to your face you could feel his breath hit your face, the scent of vodka filling your nostrils as he tried to intimidate an answer out of you like he had done so many times before.

You hoped the Qian’s left already. You hoped they were gone and that they stayed gone. You hoped they’d forgotten about you the second Kun got to them to save themselves and that they realized trying to help you anymore than they already had was futile.

Your father would no doubt try to find the family that sheltered and cared for you. He’d make them regret ever crossing paths with you like he’d done to anyone else in the past that tried to show you even an announce of kindness. If they left, they’d at least get a head start. They’d at least have a chance to save themselves.

Tilting your head down to look at your feet, you tried one last time to give him acknowledgement, “T-They-” Your voice started to fail you once more, causing more anger to erupt from your father’s throat.

You wished you could have thanked the Qian’s. You wished you could have told them how grateful you were for their kindness and generosity towards you. You wished you could have thanked them for treating you like you were their own flesh and blood when you were just some strange girl Kun had picked up from school. You wished you could have told them that their help in your time of need meant everything to you and that you wished you could have repaid them somehow.

You wished you could’ve had one last day with them to memorize the warm feeling that hit you the second you’d walked through their front door to keep the cold abyss that would soon be your prison once more from getting to you.

You wished you could’ve sat down with the respectful Mr. Qian once more before you’d be stuck with your pig of a father for the rest of your life. You wished you could’ve cooked with the joyful Mrs. Qian as you chatted about your day one last time before you got stuck with your silent and resentful mother. You wished you could’ve sat at the dining room table while a happy Kun tried to explain his homework to you for the hundredth with his beautiful dimples flashing at you as he smiled before you lost the ability to see his smile forever.

“Look at me when you’re speaking! Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your manners ________!!” Your father shouted in your face, quickly bringing his hand to grab you by the jaw to force you to look at him. It wasn’t until his rough hand squeezed your face that you realized the tears you had been holding back were now sliding down your cheeks.

But mostly, you wished you would’ve had the courage to tell Kun you loved him. Even if someone as kind and caring as him could’ve and should’ve never loved someone like you back, you wished you could’ve told him how much he meant to you before you never saw the light of day again.

Waking up to him and his lovely family everyday made you have hope that the world wasn’t such a bad place afterall. In that moment, all the hope you had left was praying he’d be able to quickly forget you and realize what he’d meant to you.

“I’m-” Just as you attempted to apologize in the hopes of softening the blow you knew was no doubt going to be making contact with your face soon, you heard a loud deep growl of what you could only assume was a wolf animal come from the trees.

Your father moved his attention to the sound as well, signaling that he too had heard it and was wondering what was going on. But instead of seeing a bear or some other creature, you saw Kun standing by the trees while tightening his fists so hard you could’ve sworn he would’ve broken his fingers.

“Let go of her. Now.” He sneered with a stone cold face, pushing himself out of the tree line and out into the daylight to be better seen.

You weren’t sure what but something seemed… different about him. Sure he had changed quite a bit since you had first met him, but you chalked that up to puberty. This however, was new. Something you hadn’t experienced before yet. Something strange.

Your father let out a dry chuckle, “Oh if i were you boy i would be running as far away as possible because you’re next on my list.”

But despite your father’s warning and your eyes widening to tell him to run, Kun just kept his same emotionless face, “How about we just put me at the top of your list now so we can get it out of the way then old man?” He suggested, not even seeming worried over the fact that your father was a grown adult and he was just a young teenage boy a little over half his size.

Your father let his grip on your face go and you fell to the ground, apparently your legs had finally given up what little strength they had and could no longer keep themselves upright.

“Fine kid. It’s your funeral.” Your father shrugged, turning around in his place so he could start to walk over to your beloved savior and probably off him.

You couldn’t let that happen. Even though your voice failed you, you refused to let it give up on the first person who showed you even a hint of kindness, “K- Kun, don’t!” You cried out.

This only caused your father to swing back around and kick you straight in your rib cage, making you go from your kneeling position to fall straight on your side.

“That’s enough out of you!” He spit at you as you desperately gasped for the air your lungs lost.

But this time when your father tried to turn around, he wasn’t met with Kun. He was met with the biggest wolf you’d ever seen lunging straight at him.

In second your father was on the ground being ripped apart by the beast’s long sharp teeth and claws as he cried out in agony.

As much as you should’ve been scared of the wolf because it would’ve most likely have come for you next, you weren’t. You were much more concerned for your friend and started scanning your surroundings to make sure he knew to run. But he was no where to be seen.

You went from being concerned to confused as you were sure that just before you hit the ground you saw a very worried Kun watching you fall to the ground out of the corner of your eye. You wondered where he could’ve possibly gone in the small amount of time.

Your thoughts were soon interrupted when you realized your father’s pained yelps and screams had ceased and you saw that the wolf was headed straight for you. You couldn’t move your legs still, your arms couldn’t even lift you from the ground if you tried, and you were still struggling to catch your breath. You had no hope of getting out of the situation you found yourself in. So instead of even trying to get away, you just laid there and let it zero in on you.

Except when you closed your eyes so you didn’t have to actually see the wolf charge at you and began mentally preparing yourself for the attack, you soon realized it never came.

When you opened your eyes you could see the wolf clear as day with its muzzle in front of your face. But instead of the ferociousness you caught a glimpse of on its face just as it jumped on your father, you were met with a sweet almost puppy like face that began licking your face.

It quickly stopped licking you once it realized your eyes opened and that’s when you noticed it’s own big yellow ones staring at you.

You should’ve been afraid. You should’ve ran away screaming. You should’ve at very least been trying to push it away from you. But you weren’t. You actually felt… relieved that the giant animal was in front of you.

Which was again something that confused you, but it wasn’t until it laid down in front of you and emitted a small whine from its body that it clicked in your brain. It made sense why you weren’t afraid. There was no reason for you to run away screaming. You didn’t need to push the thing away from you.

You weren’t in any real danger. It didn’t want to see you get hurt. It was protecting you. It wanted to keep you safe. And now that it saw you were preparing for it to hurt you, it calmed down because it didn’t want you to be scared of it.

When you pushed yourself up on your forearms and watched the animals strange behavior, you felt a tugging flutter in your heart you’d only gotten from one other person before.

You didn’t understand what was happening. You didn’t understand why a wolf animal would suddenly come to a girl’s aid in the middle of the day where visitors wondered about frequently. Shouldn’t it be in the woods looking for food or something? More importantly, shouldn’t it want to hurt you for being foreign to it’s natural habitat?

Before you could personally seek any answers out yourself, someone came in and have them to you in a haste. And that someone was Mr. Qian.

“Kids!” He darted to you in a rush, eyes noticeably a similar color to the animal in front of you, “Kids are you ok-” Mr. Qian stopped dead in his tracks and sentence to take in the scene in front of him.

As he slowly got closer to you, both you and the wolf lifted your heads to turn in his direction completely.

Mr. Qian cleared his throat to regain some semblance of composure, “___, w-what happened here?”

That’s when you finally spoke up and explained what went on, at least, what events you knew for sure took place. You described to him the moments of you and Kun skipping stones, the fact that a man came out of no where to try to hurt you, and that Kun had disappeared.

“Okay that’s- that’s extremely worrying. First things first: The man,” Mr. Qian quizzed, seemingly trying to wrap his head around the situation at hand himself, “The man who tried to hurt you, where is he now?”

You pointed to the newly formed mangled corpse on the ground and told him it was your father and that the wolf came out of no where to protect you. You just weren’t sure why.

You also weren’t sure if he was truly just as shocked by the whole ordeal as you were or not. His facial expression showed nothing but concern, confusion, and worry. But his eyes gave off nothing but acceptance and compliance.

It wasn’t until he sighed heavily and bend down to the wolf’s level that you realized he probably wasn’t in awe of the whole scene for the same reason you were.

“Son, you’ve gotten us into quite the mess here you know that?” Mr. Qian shook his head with a slight airy laugh, something that caused the wolf to lay it’s head on the ground in a huff, “___, mama is back at the picnic blanket. I want you to go find her and tell her to bring me the supplies she always brings in cases of an emergency. Then i want you to stay at the blanket until we return, okay?” He tilted his head to look at you as he spoke as gently and as simply as he could to not scare you any further.

You vigorously shone your head after taking a moment to process his request, “N-No i can’t. What- what about Kun? We have to find him!” You insisted, unwilling to leave your dear friend behind.

Mr. Qian gave you a kind smile and nodded, “Don’t worry about my son. I’ll make sure he comes back with us i promise. But it’s not safe for you here and i know that he wouldn’t want you in any sort of danger because of him, alright?”

You were going to refuse again and push that you needed to help find him. But before you could protest again, the animal in front of you let out a small whine directed towards you that made your heart ache. And, though you still weren’t exactly sure why you felt the need to care about such a weird feeling, so you finally nodded in agreement and went to find Mrs. Qian to do as you were told.

——

It took a little while for them to get back to your meet up spot. You had already packed up the lunch you and Mrs. Qian prepared, folded the blanket that was brought to sit on into it’s large designated bag per your foster mother’s request, and began pacing in place before the small family came back.

Seeing Mr and Mrs Qian made you feel better, but seeing a very tired looking Kun nervously walking behind them put you at ease. You didn’t care that your father had came back and hurt you. You didn’t even care that your father was killed by the giant wolf thing. At that point, all you cared about was Kun’s safety.

So you ran to him the second he got close enough and wrapped your arms around his broad figure, “You’re okay!” You whimpered into his chest happily, tears threatening to spill from your eyes as Kun returned your embrace.

“Of course I’m okay ___. Are you?” He pulled you out of your hug and held either side of your face to no doubt check for bruises and injuries, his eyes being a very familiar but different color than you could’ve sworn they used to be.

But truthfully, even if you had any visible wounds, it didn’t matter to you. Those would heal. You were just mentally thanking every god that there ever was that he didn’t get caught in the cross fire of everything that happened.

You quickly nodded your head to confirm that you were, in fact, okay as you brought your own hand up to hold one of his that he had cupped around your face and squeezed it.

“Yes, yes. Everyone’s alright. But we really do need to be going. We can’t take any risks being out and about right now,” Mr. Qian smiled reassuringly.

“Wait!” You halted everyone from beginning the journey back to the house, “Don’t we need to talk about what happe-” You tried but you were quickly put at ease with Mrs. Qian putting her arm around your waist to usher you to follow them.

“Yes dear. We will. Just… not here. In fact, wait until we get back home to even think about it, okay? Let’s just be glad everyone’s okay, okay?” Her warm tone rhetorically questioned you, letting Kun and his father lead you to the car with a fair bit of distance between your two pairs.

——

Once you got back to the house, Mrs. Qian told you go up to Kun’s room to get cleaned up so she could refix the lunch you had all missed. You offered to help her as you usually did, but she insisted she had it covered and that you had been through enough for one day.

You did note that she didn’t have Kun go get changed the same way you had to. He stayed downstairs to speak with his parents.

As ashamed as you were to say, you did try to listen in to what they were saying as you had a feeling they were trying to get rid of you so they could speak to one another freely. But you recognized that they were speaking Hokkien, a language that, while you understood some due to living with the Qian’s for so long, you weren’t even conversational in. So it all sounded like a load of gibberish to you. At least you knew your hunch about them not wanting you to be around so they could speak was correct.

After you changed and made yourself presentable, you finally made your way back downstairs and found all three of them already sitting and mumbling to one another at the dining room table, no lunch in sight.

“___!” Mrs. Qian chirped to get the boys attention, causing them to cease their muffled talk and turn their attention to you.

Mr. Qian simply chuckled at you and made a silly comment about you taking a long time to get ready that you knew was just him teasing you, before he went to help his wife grab all the lunch supplies out of the fridge.

Kun on the other hand, immediately had his eyes locked on you and didn’t move an inch.

Not that it was an issue. It never bothered you when the elder boy gave you his undivided attention. You actually rather liked it when he did which, while not necessarily rare, definitely didnt happen every single day as he was generally too busy with school stuff and chores.

This time however, it was almost as if he refused to take his gaze away from you. Even when you pulled your chair out to sit down and cleared your throughly out of nervous habit, he didn’t budge. You weren’t even sure if he was blinking, not that you knew if he was or wasn’t.

You didnt dare to look at him back for more than half a second. Your teeny tiny crush on him plus your naturally introverted personality making such a task far too nerve wrecking for you.

Though even throughout eating lunch and you making small talk with his parents, you still felt his eyes on you. It wasn’t a creepy feeling you got when you noticed him staring. It was more of a… longing feeling maybe? You weren’t too sure if that was the right word you would place it as or not but it was the closest you could get to the right one.

Whatever it was, you just knew it made your stomach do cartwheels and made your cheeks feel as though they were on fire. Almost like your body was embarrassed that he was so openly observed you. In fact, him watching you so intensely had begun to make you a bit self conscious of how messy you could’ve looked eating.

Which was ridiculous. You had lived with the Qian’s for a year at that point. He had shown no sign of attraction to you that you recognized. As far as you knew, he just saw you as a little sister he never got growing up or as a close friend that just happened to live with him and his family. You, being the young girl you were, were just probably reading far too into what he was doing because you secretly wanted him to like you back.

He was probably just worried about you after everything that had happened throughout the day. He was probably just trying to look for any hint of discomfort or sadness by watching you closely. He was just being the good boy his parents raised him to be by looking out for his friend.

So you just had to slap away the butterflies in your belly, cool down the fire against your cheeks, and pretend everything was fine with you as you kept eating your food.

——

“Are we gonna talk about it now auntie?” You asked Mrs. Qian as you helped her clean the dishes from lunch.

Her eyes ever so slightly widened at your question and you saw a small panic wash over them, almost as if she had been hoping you’ve forgotten what happened earlier in the day.

She cleared her throat at turned to look at Kun, who was on her other side putting the dishes away in the cabinets after you washed and she dried them.

Kun was still acting weird. He wasn’t staring you down as he had been earlier, but he definitely wasn’t his usual self.

Normal Kun was always joking and laughing with his parents. The Kun you were dealing with was withdrawn and quiet. Normal Kun wouldn’t think twice about eating as much dessert as his parents would allow him to. The Kun before you barely even touched his lunch.

You would have understood if he had seen all you had at the park and was just in shock. But he didn’t see any of what you saw. He completely disappeared for that matter so you were really confused by his strange behavior.

He deeply sighed while running a shakey hand through his hair before nodding to his mother, who in turn turned to you with a smile, turning off the faucet in front of you and gesturing for you to sit at the table while she went and got Mr. Qian so you could all talk.

Truthfully, you weren’t even sure what there was to talk about because you had assumed they knew just as much about what happened as you did. But it just felt… odd to have witnessed your own father be killed by a wild animal and not discuss their ideas about what happened. Or at least acknowledge what you saw and potentially go to the authorities. You figured they left his body where it was, not that you cared too much about his final resting place after everything. You just didn’t want the Qian’s or yourself to get into trouble for not reporting it.

“Okay ___,” Mr. Qian puffed as he sat in the chair next to you and across from his wife, “What do you want to talk about?”

You tilted your head at the older man in confusion, “O-Oh. I- um- i dont know. It just… feels weird not to at least say something about it. It’s weird to like- i dont know- pretend it didn’t just happen,” you shrugged, biting the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from rambling anymore while waiting for one of the other three at the table to say something.

Mr. Qian nodded solemnly in understanding before letting out a long breath, “I see. Today’s been a very eventful day for everyone.”

Mrs. Qian smiles and shook her head in amusement at her husband’s obviousness but said nothing. Kun just stared straight at the center of the table, no emotion visible on his face.

“Well, Yeah. I- I mean giant dogs don’t just come out of nowhere and maul my dad to death after he also attempted to kill me everyday. So I’d say it’s been a pretty eventful day,” you tried to semi joke with a side smile, but instead of receiving a similar reaction from the others, you watched as Kun, who sat across from you at the square table, brought his head down almost shamefully to stare at his lap.

The confusion and hurt must’ve been written on your face at the idea of potentially having upset the older boy as Mrs. Qian grabbed and squeezed your hand under the table to comfort you.

At your word choices, Mr. Qian thought it was best for everybody involved that he just lay it all out on the table to prevent you from accidentally saying anything more to upset his son, “___, about the giant dog-” He uncomfortably shifted in his chair, “It… well you see, it wasn’t exactly a dog.”

“It wasn’t?” You innocently asked, completely dumbfounded that the large animal you’d met earlier wasn’t actually a canine.

“No sweetheart,” Mrs. Qian answered for her husband, who was looking increasingly distressed by the second, “It was- well still is that is- a human.”

After Mrs. Qian’s statement, the entire table went completely silent as they all watched you nervously and waited for your reaction. But really, you didn’t know how exactly to react.

The thing that stopped your father earlier surely looked like a dog to you. A very very large, very very bizarre dog, but a dog nonetheless. Granted you had never been allowed to own one before, but you still knew what they looked like. You weren’t an idiot. It was furry and it had four legs and a muzzle. How could it have been human?

“But Mr. Qian, you saw it. It was walking on all four legs and it had fluffy fur. Humans don’t do that and they don’t have fur they have hair!” You reasoned out loud, trying to get the room full of older people to see sanity.

And why wouldn’t you have? You didn’t know what they knew. You hadn’t seen what they had seen. You had no way of knowing that, while they knew you were telling the truth, they were telling you the truth too.

Mr. Qian broke out of his anxiety ridden state once he realized you would probably only listen to him on the matter. You trusted Mrs. Qian and Kun, but as far as you knew, he was the only other one at the table that had even seen the big dog, “Yes ________, you’re right. Humans don’t have fur. But what you saw, who you saw, wasn’t exactly human either,” he clarified, “It was, well, he is a werewolf.”

You were crazy, that’s what you decided. You were all crazy. You’d lost it at seeing the traumatic events you’d seen.

“…what…?” You spine just above a whisper, not even sure they had heard you.

But you weren’t aware that two out of the three people at the table would’ve definitely heard you yet.

“The animal that saved you,” Mrs. Qian reaffirmed her husband’s statement, “Wasn’t an animal. Not really. It was a werewolf. A human who can turn into a wolf.”

You were sure they could see the disbelief on your face, or at least they could see if in your eyes, “But werewolves, guys- werewolves don’t exist. That’s make believe stuff.”

Everyone had their own set of beliefs and morals, you knew that. But they were speaking of fairytales and nonexistent creatures parents told to their children at night to scare them.

You heard Mr. Qian let out an exhausted sigh before you watched him stand up from his chair and gestured for you all to follow him into the living room.

He then said something to Mrs. Qian in Hokkien and she rushed around the room quickly to close all the blinds and curtains.

“Dad,” Kun finally spoke fearfully around you for the first time since you’d gotten back from the park, “Are you sure this is a good idea? Isn’t there any other way?”

The elder man let out a dry laugh to his son, “Xiaodan, she’s been here for a year now. I think we all know her well enough to know that the only way she’ll believe us is if she sees it.”

And just like that, you watched as Mr. Qian began to grow his nails into what you could only call claws. You could only stare in shock as his usual perfectly squared smiled transformed into elongated fangs and black fur began to emit itself from his skin. You listened as you heard what you could only assume was bones breaking and moving inside his body. You witnessed the usually rather average size, meek Mr. Qian turn into a creature similar looking to the one that protected you earlier in the day.

For a moment, you thought you were going to pass out and fall over from the flush of color suddenly draining from your face. But before your buckling knees could drop you to the ground, Kun caught you with ease and held you against his strong body to compensate for yohr weakened one.

——

“So you do like him then?” Mrs. Qian asked you as you helped her make dinner.

With a darkening blush on your face you squealed, “Aiya auntie! Don’t put words in my mouth!” You giggled continuing to finely dice the onion as you were told.

After they told you, more like showed you, that werewolves existed, it took you a while to swallow the new truth you had been given. Once the Qian’s deemed you had accepted the idea as reality, they began to tell you more about them.

Between the knowledge that Mr and Mrs Qian and Kun had collectively given you, you thought it was safe to say you were an expert. At least, as much of an expert as one who didn’t actually turn into a werewolf could be on werewolves.

You’d learned all about how werewolves are genetically produced and not created by bites like some movies suggested. You learned that the fact that they traveled and found their own packs was true, but that they didn’t actually have to have a full moon to shift. You learned about alphas, something that apparently Mr. Qian, and eventually Kun when he matured enough, were and that they were the leaders of said packs.

They told you about werewolf hunters and how they tried to kill as many werewolves as possible with silver, but that if they’re wounded by something not made of silver they can usually regenerate and heal themselves pretty quickly. They told you that, while they had potions or contacts to conceal their real eye color, getting highly emotional could easily burn through either and show their true colors.

And thanks to Mr. Qian’s meticulously ‘no filter’ way of teaching, during one of his lessons you learned about rut, which happens once a season for males, and heat, which happens one week every month for females. It was during the very same lesson that you learned about mates and imprinting.

Which were, in Mrs. Qian’s words, essentially soul mates werewolves got instantly by looking at someone fate decided they needed to stay with forever. Apparently every werewolf had one, some unlucky werewolves even imprinted on the same person. But each wolf only had one themselves unless something happened to their mate. Then fate would do another lottery guessing game and let them have another one.

Mr. Qian made mates seem so scientifically simple. Mrs. Qian always made it sound much more serious and heartfelt. She insisted that, while her husband was right for the most part, he neglected to emphasize just how strong the feelings could be and that nothing else in the world could ever compare. According to her, everyone and everything practically falls off the face of the earth to a werewolf once he or she meets this mate and no one else will ever matter romantically to them again.

While you enjoyed the sentiment, you also wished Mr. Qian’s calmer version was more true than Mrs. Qian’s Romeo and Juliet version. You were glad that werewolves got to have the same happily ever after that everyone deserved. You were just sad that you would never get yours.

Werewolves apparently instantly fall in love with their mate and imprint at first sight. If it doesn’t happen then, it won’t happen later. Meaning Kun would get a happily ever after without you in it.

That sad reality hit your fragile little teenage heart more than you had ever meant for it to, and it must’ve been pretty obvious too. Because Mrs. Qian couldn’t seem to stop teasing you for your little crush on him ever since.

Mrs. Qian scoffed, “I’m not putting words in your mouth. I’m just asking a question i already know the answer to.”

“And how do you KNOW the answer already huh auntie?” You raised your eyebrow at her.

Because she had caught you crying over your pathetic teenage feeling for him a few days prior. You hadn’t told her that was why you were crying of course, she just… knew.

“Because a mother always knows ___.” She proudly smiled, taking your finished onions pieces and adding them to her pan.

Mrs. Qian treated you like the daughter she never had. And anytime she implied or referred to you as her daughter, it made you unbelievably happy. But when she brought the topic up when she had also been trying to get you to admit your unrequited love for her son, you couldn’t help but let the cosmic knife that hit your heart force you to miss a breath.

You didn’t know why she had insisted on bringing the topic up over and over again or why she wouldn’t just lay it to rest already. You both knew your feelings for him would amount to nothing even if you had told the truth.

Because Kun had already shifted. In fact, the first time he had was when he protected you from your father, which was a detail he was too ashamed to admit to you for the first couple months after it happened. You weren’t even sure why he felt that way. Your father was a monster in your book and, in your eyes, Kun had saved your life.

But it was because he had already shifted to protect you that you knew your feelings for him were nothing more than a school girl crush that never meant to be spoken about in the light of day. He would’ve imprinted on you that day if you were his mate and since he hadn’t told you he had when he told you he was a werewolf too, you knew he didn’t.

“Knowing stuff is overrated sometimes though auntie,” you sadly shrugged because you had started to think about how you and Kun weren’t meant to be, “Sometimes knowing stuff is a lot more painful than not knowing stuff.”

It was soon after this sentence that you began to feel burning tears brimming your waterlines and you had to excuse yourself so that you didn’t end up crying over everyone’s dinner, much to your foster mother’s dismay. But you knew in the end your decision to stop making dinner was what was best for everyone.

What you didn’t know however, was that when Kun got home from school Mrs. Qian was waiting for him. She told him how she thought you ran out on making that nights dinner with her because she had made you upset in her efforts to get you to admit your feelings for him.

Kun had been careful. He had been really really careful on how he interacted with you since he shifted. He never got too close to you, made sure to keep contact minimal, kept conversation light and simple, and refused to be left alone with you. He didn’t want to scare you away.

You had been so initially hesitant about werewolves and everything having to do with them, which was something that wasn’t helped by him attacking your father to keep him from laying his hands on you. He didn’t want to overburden you with more stuff that could cause you to have an emotional breakdown.

He didn’t want to tell you that even though you were already struggling with the idea of werewolves existing, he had imprinted on you which meant you were his mate.

But when his mother sat him down and told him he needed to be 100% honest with you because you were breaking down thinking he didn’t love you the way you loved him, he raced up the stairs to tell you the truth.

And that’s where he found you crying in his bedroom under his old comforter. He couldn’t help the small whine that escaped his lungs at seeing you so sad and hurt because of something he unintentionally caused. He pulled you onto his lap and let you cry for as long as you needed to before he told you you were his mate.

He actually practically got on his hands and knees so he could beg you to get you to forgive him for making you question his love for you. But you weren’t mad at him, you were just happy he told you because it meant that no one could take him away from you. Then Kun got happy because you accepting him mesnt no one could take you away from him. And everything seemed like it was gonna be okay.

Even after the both of you and your newly formed pack had to flee your home country so you wouldn’t get killed like some of your friends and their families had, you still didn’t really care all that much about the dangers and the hardships. When other packs came and tried to hurt yours you were never worried. When you had no money and no possessions but the clothes on your backs, you never once batted an eye. Because at the end of the day, you always had Kun by your side.

That’s how you and Qian Kun became the power couple. That’s why everyone knew you as the ‘it’ couple. That’s why some of the other couples even in your own pack envied what you both had.

No matter how stressful your respective college majors got, you never took it out on each other. No matter how limited your time got with each other due to crazy schedules, you never have up on making time with one another. No matter what life threw at either of you, you never once fought. No matter how hard the universe tried to break you down, you never once let the other break apart. No matter how tall the waves of misery and sorrow got, you never let the other drown. You were unbreakable together.

He was the love of your life. He was your other half. He was your soul mate. He was your world. But as you stood in the kitchen of your student Genji’s boyfriend’s home, you soon realized that those titles now also applied to a boy named Joshua Hong.

(Last Updated: 3/17/2023)

[londonfoginacup]

I was tagged by @ladyaj-13!

Rules: List ten books that have stayed with you in some way, don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.

The Dalemark Quartet by Diana Wynne Jones

This is technically four books together, but the copy I got was a library bound copy that my mom picked up at the university book sale when I was in 6th grade. It took me three years to read the whole thing because I was so annoyed that each book would end on a cliffhanger and then start with another whole cast of characters. But truly my favourite fantasy book, and my favourite author of all time

2. How to Hide and Empire by Daniel Immerwahl

One of my fav nonfiction books of all time, full of fascinating trivia and connections that all of my friends inwardly roll their eyes at me for repeating in nearly every conversation

3. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller

I had to read this for class in high school and I definitely was the only person who found it fucking hilarious. Nobody else that I talk to ever likes this book. Also I lent my copy full of pages and pages of notes to somebody and now it's LOST

4. Love You Bye by Scott Mills

Scott Mills the platonic love of my life. This is such an easy read and so clearly heavily ghost written but I love it so much because I am maybe perhaps Scott's number one fan.

5. Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

I read this last year and it's the first fiction book I have read in... maybe three years? I'm obsessed. I find fiction to be very boring right now but this series is DIFFERENT.

6. Love Thy Body by Nancy Pearcey

The rules said books that have "stayed with you in some way". There's no book that has made me more viscerally angry to read than this one. I hated it. She drew the most outlandish conclusions and made ridiculous leaps. 0/10 the only worse book is probably the one she just published.

7. Death to Deconstruction by Joshua Porter

A theology book that doesn't suck. My roommate bought this for me for Christmas and she got it SIGNED (Joshua Porter aka Josh Dies aka the lead singer of Showbread and the band I stanned before 1D). I read this over a series of weeks at Ikea over swedish meatballs.

8. Catch and Kill by Ronan Farrow

I keep saying that if there's one book I'd rec to Louis it would be this one. Goddamn Ronan is a good writer and it's so good to watch bad men go down.

9. The Black Tattoo by Sam Enthoven

I'm not actually sure this book is good? I tried rereading it a few years ago and I couldn't get through the first few chapters. But I read it for the first time around like 2012 and at the time it was everything to me. I drew weird black tattoos on everything for years.

10. Soft Lad by Nick Grimshaw

Another one I read over a progression of Saturdays at Ikea eating lunch. Both Scott and Nick were part of my foray into finding myself as an adult, choosing what I like and what I want to pursue. Unlike Scott's autobography (as Chris Stark pronounced it), this one definitely felt like it came straight from Grimmy's lips.

Man I dunno who would like to do this! I tag @lululawrence @becomeawendybird @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf

[study-with-aura]

Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Geometry was a problem today. I do not know what was going on as sometimes my answers would be correct and then somehow on the next question, my answers were wrong. Ratios have never been my favorite to begin with, but I know that I will have to review this lesson and maybe check different resources to see if they help me understand the formula for solving better because I am doing something wrong. I only wish I knew what it was.

Maybe I should start using pencil for my geometry practice, but then it would not stand out as well. I like color coding. It helps. Or perhaps use scratch paper and then once I have it figured out, I can copy it back into my notebook so I don't have to waste my wite-out. I was so frustrated that I nearly ruined the tape on the wite-out! I fixed it, but frustration was so real today!

I wish Julien were here. He could explain it easily to me. He's very good at math. It's days like this that I miss the ease of simply going over to his study space and asking for help.

Tasks Completed:

Geometry - Reviewed distance and midpoint formulas + learned to partition line segments + practice

Lit and Comp II - Reviewed Unit 16-18 vocabulary + read chapter 25 of Emma by Jane Austen + read the news + copied examples of poetic devices in use

Spanish 2 - Read answers from yesterday out loud to my dad and submitted the assignment for grading (30/30) + practice quiz body and face terms

Bible I - Read Joshua 13-14

World History - Read timeline for the final four days before the start of WWI

Biology with Lab - Read about human impact + read about human impact on wildlife + watched a lecture video on human impact

Foundations - Read more about punctuality + completed Lumosity daily brain workout + learned about Texas sharp shooter and middle ground fallacies + reviewed all fallacies learned

Piano - Practiced for one hour

Khan Academy - Completed High School Biology Unit 9: Lesson 7 (parts 5-8) + Completed High School Geometry Unit 6: Lesson 2 (parts 1-3) (assigned)

CLEP - None today

Duolingo - Studied for 15 minutes (Spanish, French, Chinese) + completed daily quests

Reading - Read pages 137-174 of My Dear Henry: A Jekyll & Hyde Remix by Kalynn Bayron

Chores - None today

Activities of the Day:

Extracurricular robotics course

Personal Bible Study (Romans 8)

Ballet

Variations

Journal/Mindfulness

-

What I’m Grateful for Today:

I am grateful to have made it through geometry today!

Quote of the Day:

I don't have a feeling of inferiority. Never had. I'm as good as anybody, but no better."

-Katherine Johnson

🎧Symphony No. 1 in E Minor - I. Allegro ma non troppo - Florence Price

[butterflywonz]

I miss you

And john is hot😔

I screamed so loud when they asked him to help me out of the rock pool... He was already keeping my fking crutch istg I wanted to cry in the water...

Nathan look like 🥢, I'm fr so mad at Rebecca for doing that bro... LIKE HIS EAR PHONES WEEE OUT AND EVERYTHING, but I could here him humming behind me which was cute, I mean I kinda have to be friends with Rebecca, cuz I'm nice 🙂 ( and she has a fucking Voodoo doll and I'm not risking shit) sooo yeah... Tortoise looks like he spells special in a specific way..(spechal) I have to stay at school till 5:30 Tommorow 😱 cuz MOS kpop society and also wp, so I might kms soon 😙...

So yeahhhh, also ,lamo is our thing, so is cumpy, so is 1bedroomapartmentguy, so is 🫡👀(Justin), so is " this one Mwah Mwah" so is Bessie chasing us, so is deep throating popsicles (Wtf was wrong with us…??) So is speaking made up languages at night *click click*, so is making fun of me stander 🏍️⚰️, so is thinking we're going to get raped by Justin Truscott, so is Mr kolesky saying penis infront of us, so is the fact that we've never kissed before ( we haven't?) So is the shirtless pics we got from Zachary (she's beautiful but she not my type), so is Abraham as a hole (wait no not like 🕳️, so whole?) So is his nipple tbh, so is going home late afterschool, so is that crazy looking girly telling you not to take pics of her man even though we were taking pics of Kakas, so is me accidentally walking into the unisex bathroom and getting the biggest shock of my life seeing Joshua (gr 11) and thinking I was in the wrong bathroom... And then having a conversation with bradlen... So is when we went on that ride at play land, so is when we thought they were playing FEVER at a children's birthday, so is when we got into the car ready to go home from said children's birthday party actual attractive people arrive, so is us randomly saying cum, so is that guy face timing us to jerk off, so is Chris's cock (I'm sorry) so is monkey as a app, so is Eric from Portugal ( more like Thabo from Nigeria) so is us being racist towards each other(and Fatima) so is the fact that zaarah gives off lesbian vibes, so is the fact that Willow makes me wanna actually rip out my intestines and shove them down her throat to make her stfu, so brownwon..., so is randomly doing antifragile in the middle of BayWest, so is shit talking nirvana cuz we just don't like her, so is randomly "AHHHHHHHH" when we see someone moderately attractive, so is pretending my knee is choking, so is the dislocation of my knee, so are these 2 year old bad boys, so are those yellow and blue woosan birds, so is pause games, so is convincing jaylin soobin died, so is me crying because.. "what If heeseung kills himself" , so is Daniel making me cry 3 times..., so is making jokes about making Jason more handicap, so is reading ff's together, so is the fact that this is so fucking long..., so is us shit talking your mother... With your father, so is lukho flashing us, so is us learning a dance and forgetting it, so is us disliking some idols... Just because, so is you making me come home crying in grade 5, so is us being not even being friends..., so is the fact that I would do anything for you... And also so is the fact that we PLANNED YOU RUN AWAY!?!?!?!?! love you babes, I miss you too.... Theres loads more but like....

ALSO ASBLF I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DIDN'T READ ALL OF THIS...

Im anonymous so like... I could be Anyone ...

So like leaked intak 😻 pics?!?!

PLEASE TELL ME NOWW RAAAAHHHHH okay bye ml

OH MY WORD WIFEY I MISS YOU SO SO SO MUCHHHH!!!

im so sick RN so I can't come to but pls tell the kpop club ppl that I wna join but I'm DYING WOOHOO

dude Nathan is hot

ALSO I'M NOT ALLOWED TO USE THIS PHONE ANYMORE THIS IS ME BEING SHNEECCEE AT MIDNIGHT

I love you sosoosososososososososo much and I appreciate the long ask (I read it all btw) I ALSO DON'T LIKE WILLOW<3

Wtf is ety coz Ik what what wp is and stuff but ETY? WHAT'S YOUR ETY WHATS YOUR ETY.

apparently the kpop club does BEAT stuff during the year too🐢

Ha yeah tortoise us hot:)

Love you babes I miss you<3

Btw "MY KNEE IS CHOKING, SOMEONE WITH BRACES, CURLY HAIR AND LOTS OF BADGES PLEASE HELP!!!!"

[words-read-words-unsaid]

Multicultural Children's Book Day Part 2

This year, I was also gifted The Jake Show by Joshua Levy! The book was published by Katherine Tegen Books, an imprint of Harper Collins Publishing (harpercollins.com). Joshua is Jewish Florida native who has written several middle grade books. Jake is a TV-loving kid who is being pulled between two different worlds: The devout "yiddishkeit" of living with his mother and the secular, STEM encouraging of living with his father. Shuffled from school to school and between these two worlds, Jake has mastered the art of masking, but with the guidance of some excellent friends (and a few close-calls along the way), learns that he can't be both the person his mom wants him to be and the person his dad wants him to be at the same time (let alone himself). I really connected with Jake and the need to perform differently for different groups of people. I also remembered the feeling of starting in a new school and feeling like it would only be temporary. While adjusting to the Jewish vocabulary in the beginning was a little difficult for me (Jake did a great job at providing subtitles for things a few chapters in), this book was a great read! Jake's story will resonate with readers trying to parse out who they are/who they want to be. I'm so excited to add this book to the shelves in my library! Multicultural Children’s Book Day 2024 (1/25/24) is in its 11th year! Valarie Budayr and Mia Wenjen founded this non-profit children’s literacy initiative; they are two diverse book-loving moms who saw a need to shine the spotlight on all of the multicultural diverse books and authors on the market while also working to get those books into the hands of young readers and educators.

Read Your World’s mission is to raise awareness of the need to include kids’ books celebrating diversity in homes and school bookshelves. Read about our Mission and history HERE.

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Read Your World celebrates Multicultural Children’s Book Day and is honored to be Supported by these Medallion and Ruby Sponsors!

FOUNDER’S CIRCLE: Mia Wenjen (Pragmaticmom) and Valarie Budayr (Audreypress.com)

🏅 Super Platinum Sponsor: Author Deedee Cummings and Make A Way Media

🏅 Platinum Sponsors: Publisher Spotlight, Language Lizard Bilingual Books in 50+ Languages, Lerner Publishing Group, Children’s Book Council

🏅 Gold Sponsors:  Barefoot Books, Astra Books for Young Readers

🏅 Silver Sponsors: Red Comet Press, Eerdmans Books for Young Readers, Valerie Williams-Sanchez and Valorena Publishing, Lee and Low Books, Cardinal Rule Press

🏅 Bronze Sponsors: CK Malone, Tonya Duncan Ellis, Anita Crawford Clark, Star Bright Books, Blue Dot Kids Press, Brunella Costagliola, Red Fin, Fabled Films 

Ruby Sponsor: Crayola 

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Poster Artist:  Rebecca Burgess 

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Classroom Kit Poster: Barefoot Books 

MCBD 2024 is honored to be Supported by these Author Sponsors!

Authors: Gwen Jackson, Josh Funk, Eugenia Chu, Sivan Hong, Marta Magellan, Kathleen Burkinshaw, Angela H. Dale, Maritza M Mejia, Authors J.C. Kato and J.C.², Charnaie Gordon,  Alva Sachs, Amanda Hsiung-Blodgett, Lisa Chong, Diana Huang, Martha Seif Simpson, DARIA (WORLD MUSIC WITH DARIA) Daria Marmaluk-Hajioannou, Gea Meijering, Stephanie M. Wildman, Tracey Kyle, Afsaneh Moradian, Kim C. Lee, Rochelle Melander, Beth Ruffin, Shifa Saltagi Safadi, Alina Chau, Michael Genhart, Sally J. Pla, Ajuan Mance, Kimberly Marcus, Lindsey Rowe Parker

MCBD 2024 is Honored to be Supported by our CoHosts and Global CoHosts!

MCBD 2023 is Honored to be Supported by our Partner Organizations! 

Check out MCBD's Multicultural Books for Kids Pinterest Board!

📌 FREE RESOURCES from Multicultural Children’s Book Day

MCBD 2024 Poster

Mental Health Support for Stressful Times Classroom Kit

Diversity Book Lists & Activities for Teachers and Parents

Homeschool Diverse Kidlit Booklist & Activity Kit

FREE Teacher Classroom Activism and Activists Kit

FREE Teacher Classroom Empathy Kit

FREE Teacher Classroom Kindness Kit

FREE Teacher Classroom Physical and Developmental Challenges Kit

FREE Teacher Classroom Poverty Kit

Gallery of Our Free Posters

FREE Diversity Book for Classrooms Program

📌 Register for the MCBD Read Your World Virtual Party

Join us on Thursday, January 25, 2024, at 9 pm EST celebrating more than 10 years of  Multicultural Children's Book Day Read Your World Virtual Party! Register here. 

This epically fun and fast-paced hour includes multicultural book discussions, addressing timely issues, diverse book recommendations, & reading ideas.

We will be giving away a 10-Book Bundle during the virtual party plus Bonus Prizes as well! *** US and Global participants welcome. **

Follow the hashtag #ReadYourWorld to join the conversation, and connect with like-minded parts, authors, publishers, educators, organizations, and librarians. We look forward to seeing you all on January 25, 2024, at our virtual party!

InLinkz - Linkups & Link Parties for Bloggers

Create link-ups, link parties and blog hops. Run challenges and engage your followers with Inlinkz.

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