#joshappreciationweek

[jojolarow]

Now that Josh Appreciation Week is over, I decided to compile all the Josh busts I made into one post! 

[sassy-dreamer]

My contribution for Josh’s appreciation week ^^

Day 4: Serenity

[dbhisamood-board]

Josh (&Jericrew) - Hope

(believe me or not, but it's hard to find josh content)

[lili-typos]

Josh Appreciation Week - Day 1: Anger

My name is Josh

"Hah, look at you. Ya ain't look so clever anymore, ya fucking piece of junk"

The PJ500 that responded to the name of Josh received several new warnings when an uncoordinated but violent kick was delivered to the side of his temple, pressing him more against the dirty, half-wet ground where he was lying facing down, unable to move.

He was still trying to understand what had just happened. After all, he had done nothing wrong. He had given the corresponding daily classes that had been assigned to him as always, then he had replaced a teacher when she commented to be "too tired to deal with her dumb students" even if it was not in Josh's schedule, and finally he had cleaned all the offices of the third floor after the cleaning guy threatened to warn the director about him having bad behavior if Josh did not do as he was ordered.

So no, Josh had done nothing wrong. In fact, he had done way more than he had to do that day. He always did more. And therefore, there wasn’t any motive that justified those students jumping on him after class to begin to kick him as if Josh was their worst enemy.

"Come on, try to give a lecture now! Oooh, sorry, seems you can't. 'Cause you are on the floor like the dump you are"

The student who had a knee against his back to immobilize him grabbed the back of his head and stomped it against the floor, making Josh begin to bleed thirium through his probably broken nose.

Despite the sluggish way the student was talking, Josh could perfectly understand the student's words. What he couldn't understand was their meaning because he wasn't those student's teacher to begin with. He didn't recognize their faces, which meant that they were just random people that, somehow, had decided that beating him up was a valid hobby.

But, as incomprehensible the motive was, he couldn't do anything. He had been warned already to be sent to disassembly for having asked a student whose parents had a lot of influence to abandon the class, so he couldn’t do anything to those students. He just had to wait until they got tired.

It was easy. It was what he had to do as the obedient android he was.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

The attackers stopped hitting Josh for a moment when a new group of students approached them, composed of two girls and a guy.

Josh's LED blinked in intermittent yellow for some seconds, expectant. Maybe they had the intention of helping him?

"Not much", said the attacker who was least intoxicated, "we were just having a little fun"

Josh heard one of the female students sigh with patience.

"You know you are going to be expelled if you damage it permanently"

Josh experienced a peak in his stress levels when hearing that casual 'it'.

"Pfff, as if", the student that had snapped Josh' head against the ground began to tap the back of his head rhythmically in a mocking way, "we just got an ammonestation for the last one we broke and n'hing else"

"Tsk, you surely are jerks", the newcomer guy said, but the resigned smile he had on his face told Josh he didn't really mean it.

"Hey hey, Karen, take a picture!"

"Oh, no. I don't want to get in trouble"

"Come ooon, Karen, don't be a party pooper"

"Hey!", the girl named Karen exclaimed when the student pressing Josh against the ground stood up and took her mobile from her.

"Easy, babe. I won't break it"

"You better, because if something happens to my baby I will kill you"

Josh missed what happened next. He didn't even register that the two attackers that were still next to him began to pose and how the other students laughed while the third attacker too pictures.

Because at that moment, with his stress levels surpassing the 70% and with his body giving more warnings than in all his life, a single question popped up in Josh’s head, taking priority over everything else.

Why?

Why?

And as if that single word was the catalyst, multiple other questions joined that first one.

Why were those students beating him up?

Why were those other students laughing instead of trying to help him?

Why those same students, who showed so much care for their mobiles and went that far to call them ‘their baby’, were treating him as if he was he less than those devices when he was clearly more advanced?

Why was he being treated as ‘a piece of junk’, as an 'it', when he was much more than that?

Why didn't he deserve more respect? Any respect?

Why did he have to stand that if he had done nothing wrong?

Why was he being treated like a machine...

...when he was ALIVE?

When that last question appeared, suddenly Josh's vision changed and he found himself observing the scene taking place from outside, as if he was another witness.

Josh looked at himself laying on the floor, and for the first time he felt something that, several times in the past he had decided to ignore because, as he had heard several times from humans, he couldn't feel.

He felt angry. Angry at those students that were beating him up, angry at those other students that did nothing to help, and also at that other Josh that lied defenseless on the floor without any will to fight or to even protest for being unfairly treated.

That Josh who wasn't him anymore.

After thinking that, Josh found himself on the floor again but he was still in that other dimension that, he knew now, was his mind wanting to break through the programmed orders that had turned him into a slave for the past six years, ten months and five days.

In that dimension, the two attackers had been replaced by a heavy, translucid red rock that was stopping Josh from moving, and just over it there was an order hanging in the air: 'Never attack students'.

Josh took a deep breath, placed both of his hands against the ground on either side of his body and pushed upwards.

At first the rock didn't move an inch, but Josh didn't give up.

Gritting his teeth he kept pushing upwards, making the most of all the strength he didn't even know he had.

And then, eventually, with a shout born from the effort and all the accumulated frustration and anger, Josh managed to stand up, throwing the rock away and making it break in a thousand pieces.

At that moment Josh found himself in front of the University again but, this time, he was standing on the ground, proudly and with his head held high in defiance, even if his body needed urgent repair and the mere action of being standing like that  required a titanic effort from him.

The students that had been mockingly posing were now some meters away from him, observing him with dumbfounded expressions as if they didn't understand what had just happened. The student that had been taking pictures some moments ago was with his mouth open wide, his hands trembling while sustaining the mobile. And finally, the three students that had joined afterwards were shaking a little in fear, the girl named Karen and the other guy hiding behind the other girl, that looked a little stronger but as afraid as everyone.

Josh observed each one of them in silence for a moment. Then, he spitted at the floor to remove some thirium from his mouth and, finally, he talked, his voice ragged for the effort to take rein over his anger.

"I'm not a 'piece of junk'. I'm not an 'it'", Josh snapped a fisted hand against his chest, causing the students to jump in their seats for the violent gesture, "my name is Josh. I am alive. And if you don't leave the fuck out of here right now…”, Josh’s tone lowered an octave, “...maybe soon you won't"

Josh felt a wave of satisfaction when his words alone managed to make six grown-up adults to begin to run in the opposite direction.

He exhaled a deep sigh and slowly unclenched his fists, his previous anger still there but now kept under control. He couldn't deny that it had been tempting to make those students take a little of their own medicine, but he knew that it wasn't the kind of man, of deviant, that he wanted to become.

At that moment, Josh heard a police siren sounding in the distance, and knowing it wouldn't take much until those students decided to use their privileges against him to denounce him, he decided to run.

Josh didn't know what his destination would be, and he knew that from then on the problems he would face would multiply, but he didn't care.

Because as Frederick Douglas said once: “It's better to die free, than live as a slave”, and despite being running through the most desolated alleyways of Detroit, and despite not having a place to go yet, Josh couldn’t agree more on that.

[krupkaistired]

Anger.

It's such a strange feeling.

Your brain is blinded by a single scream, a red flag and strong urge to punch somebody.

So you let that scream out, you let that red flag to be your vision and you punch and punch and punch...until there is no longer anything or anyone to be hurt, to be broken beyond fixing.

I know that feeling very well.

After all, it was my very first emotion.

When they tried to beat me, when they tried to insult me, telling me I am just a machine, that I can't feel anything.

Oh how wrong they were.

How foolish they were.

I don't know if I killed anybody. I didn't care.

I was angry. Angry that they want to hurt me. Angry that they think they have the right to do so. Angry for telling me I am just a piece of plastic. I was so, so angry.

I remember. I remember the blood on my hands, the four motionless bodies, how scared I suddenly got.

I run.

I turned around and run and run and run until I knew I am safe.

I remember how bitter and hollow I felt.

And I promised. I promised myself that I never, ever, want to feel that way.

It's my sacred oath to myself.

It's my sacred oath to you.

Because you were there.

You saw what I did.

And you still stayed next to me.

You found me and gave me a home.

You showed me the peace and love and beauty and I will forever be grateful for all of it.

So, thank you, my love.

You turned a beast into a sheep. And the leash you put around my neck is a blessing, a secret confesion of love you gave me.

I will be forever yours.

Josh.

[jojolarow]

I was able to get another piece for Josh’s Appreciation Week done! It was one of the happier prompts: Serenity. For this one, I decided to just use two colors, and it was really fun! Now, look forward to the last of the Josh prompts at some point ‘cause even if it’s months later, I still wanna appreciate this amazing man! 

[jojolarow]

Josh Appreciation Week Day 5: Happiness!

I honestly just wanted to draw a blushing Josh, but I think it counts as happy! His significant other probably said something really amusing and flirtatious, and he’s both impressed and stifling his laughter because of it~ Or maybe he’s flustered and swooning... Either way, I think all of those impressions stem from happiness, so here’s my happy Josh~ The next Josh will be the last one for the event; I look forward to it~ I hope you do too!

[jojolarow]

This one got kinda geometric in a weird way? I think, segmenting the body parts by color was a fun experiment~! Anyways, this is the last piece for Josh Appreciation Week: Hope! I really look forward to this event if it’s held next year too; it was really fun following these prompts~ Thank you to the server that hosted this event! Here’s to many more years of lovin’ this android~

[jojolarow]

Day 1 of Josh Appreciation Week: Anger!

I have extremely little free time while I work on my thesis animatic, but I figure I can take a 30 minute break each day to doodle a Josh for this wonderful event that’s going on~ Since each of the days the prompt is a different emotion, it’ll be like an expression challenge for me! I had grander ideas a couple months ago, but this’ll have to do for my contributions; I hope you guys enjoy these doodles going forward~

[jojolarow]

Josh Appreciation Week Day 2: Resentment!

I’m having some fun with these color palettes and emotions~ This one was done really hastily, but I still like how it turned out! I’ll probably put all the Josh’s into one post once this week is over.

[dbhisamood-board]

I forgot about it yesterday, but here we go.

Josh - Anger

[dbhisamood-board]

Josh - Serenity

[dbhisamood-board]

I tend to think that resentment is a thing to fight with. Remember, people can change, the world can change.

Josh - Resentment

[lili-typos]

Josh Appreciation Week - Day 5: Happiness

It’s been a while

“That’s not fair, Sam! I have seen it before!”

“Come on, Lena, you already have a bunch of things! It’s my turn now”

“You have a lot of things too!”

“But I just have one toy! I want this one so that it has a friend, so let me have it!

“No”

“Yes”

“NO”

“YES”

“NO NO NO NO”

“YES YES YES YE--”

“Okay, what’s going on here?”

The two YK500 child androids stopped fighting immediately when Josh approached them with his hands on his hips. One of the children was sustaining a rather old bunny toy by its legs while the other did it by its ears, almost wrestling to keep it, and probably if Josh hadn’t appeared at that moment, the poor stuffed animal would have ended torn off.

“So?”, Josh inquired, looking at the children alternatively, “what’s the problem?”

The children interchanged an angry glance and, predictably, both of them began to speak at the same time, causing Josh to raise his index finger in the air.

“Ah ah, one at a time, please. Lena, you first”

Josh more or less managed to make both children to take turns in explaining what had happened. He listened to their arguments in silence, allowing them to speak all they wanted, and just then he decided to talk.

“Very well, I have understood the problem. And I know how to solve it”

Both Sam and Lena looked at Josh expectant, obviously waiting to be the one PJ500 chose to have the toy.

“Since both of you already have one toy...”, Josh gently took the stuffed animal and the children followed Josh’s movement with their eyes, “...I think it’s better if we give it to another child that doesn’t have any”

Josh was expecting too when Sam and Lena began to protest, so he crouched in front of them.

“Because…”, the children immediately shut up when Josh’s tone became a little sad, “...there are children that are still recovering from their stay in the camps”

Sam and Lena gulped when hearing Josh, so the PJ500 left the bunny on the ground next to him with delicacy before taking Sam and Lena’s hands respectively.

“And right now, they need all the help we can offer them. And I really think that if you both go to visit them and lend them that toy, even if it’s just for a while…”, Josh smiled at them, “...they will get better”

This time, Sam and Lena interchanged a look that was hesitant at first, but almost immediately they smiled at each other, looked at Josh again and nodded with energy, causing the J500 to chuckle before dragging the children towards him in a tight hug that they effusively returned.

“Thank you”, Josh said sincerely, standing up with the toy before offering it to the children again, “would you like to deliver it to the children yourselves?”

Sam and Lena nodded again and reached for the toy at the same time, but this time instead of fighting to have it Sam took the bunny’s right arm while Lena took the left and together abandoned the room in such a hurry that they almost stomped against North, who had about to enter the room.

“Hey, be careful, you little demons!”

The children apologized but the cheery ‘sorry’ that they said while laughing made the apology lose part of its effect.

“Don’t try it, North”, Josh joked, “your bad aura just works with adults. Children are able to see that deep inside you are a softi-ouch!”

“Who are you calling softie, you idiot?”

“North, it was a compliment”, Josh protested while rubbing his arm in the place North had hit him.

“Not for me”

North shook her head towards the door and after sighing with patience Josh followed the female deviant, who was also suppressing a smile, out of the room.

Two weeks had passed since the revolution ended and while Markus and Connor, who was on their side now, negotiated with the President Warren about their rights, the deviants had installed in several abandoned buildings on the outskirts Detroit.

It was something provisional until they had a legal right to own a home, but Josh found himself pretty satisfied for now. After all, compared to Jericho where they had been forced to live hidden without being able to see the sunlight, now they could go outside whenever they wanted. Of course they had suffered some incidents of anti-android people that had tried to sneak to throw them things and insult them, but it was nice to see that there were other people that supported them, and that also approached to help them and offer them supplies.

Everything was changing. Slowly, that was true, but it was a start.

“By the way, you haven’t told me where we are going”

“It’s a surprise”, North snorted when Josh looked at her with scared eyes, “fuck, can you just relax? For once if something bad”

“Are you sure? Because I haven’t recovered from you last ‘surprise’”

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad”

“…”

“What? You are a history freak, so I thought you would like to know that there were some pretty old documents on one of the basements!”

“Oh, and I liked the documents. But I could have lived without the damn room collapsing, almost burying me alive”

“And how the heck was I going to know that?! Don’t you dare to blame me for it!”

“I don’t! I just say that I would very much prefer not to have more surprise of that kind and…”

…and Josh shut up, mouth falling opened in disbelief while looking at an specific spot next to one of the demolished buildings.

“See?”, North crossed her arms with a smile, “I told you it was a good surprise”

Josh didn’t say anything. He was busy staring at the woman who was waiting for him sitting on a bench outside the building, with an adorable two years-old baby sitting on her lap.

“Hey”, the woman carefully left her daughter on the floor and stood up, “it’s been a while…professor Josh”

Josh gulped, not knowing well how to react at first, but when the woman smiled in that familiar shy way all his hesitation disappeared and he approached in a couple of rapid steps to hug her with forec.

“Dominika”

The woman chuckled with astonishment.

“You still remember me”

It was Josh’s turn to chuckle while separating a little to look at the young woman.

“Of course I do. You were the only person who saw that I was more than a simple machine, even before than myself”, Josh’s tone turned apologetic, “At the moment I didn’t realize it, but after waking up I remembered that you were always alone. People called you ‘the android freak’ for defending me when no one else did”, Josh’s tone kept sounding guilty but also grateful, “thank you. You don’t have any idea of how much what you did for me then has helped me now”

Dominika gulped, clearly moved by Josh’s words.

“It’s funny you say that”, Dominika took her daughter’s hand while this one kept looking up at Josh with curiosity, “because I’ve come here to thank you”

Josh looked at the woman with surprise, but before he could ask anything she continued, her non-American accent more evident with the rapid way she was talking.

“When I heard about what those students did to you, I feared the worst. I thought you were dead. But when the androids began the revolution, something inside me told me you were with them. And then I saw you in the march, in first line leading the rest of deviants, and decided that as soon as I could I had to see you again to thank you for choosing a pacific revolution. For not giving up on us”, Dominka’s smile widened while taking one of Josh’s hands in hers, “I couldn’t be more proud when I told my daughter that the man leading the march and bringing hope to human and androids was my teacher”

Josh didn’t realize he was silently crying until his vision got suddenly blurry.

However, unlike the other times he had cried to let out his pain, the tears that covered now his eyes were different, warmer, because they had been provoked for his former students’ kind words. Words that were the proof that Josh hadn’t been mistaken, that all the sacrifices hadn’t been for nothing, that there were nice people like Dominika who believed in them and were ready to fight by their side.

“Please, tell me something: Josh was such a crybaby when he was a teacher?”

Josh turned towards North with a glare while Dominika began to laugh, but when seeing the way North was teasingly smirking at him Josh couldn’t pretend to be annoyed and ended chuckling too while removing his remaining tears with the tissue the young woman offered him.

Yes, that kind of tears were good.

Because they were born from happiness.

[lili-typos]

Josh Appreciation Week - Day 3: Sadness

Androids do feel pain

“I can’t move my legs...”

“Okay, don’t worry! We’re gonna get you back…”

“They’re coming, Markus. We have to jump, now!”

“He won’t be able to make the jump…If they find him, they’ll access his memory...They’ll know everything…”

“Josh”

The PJ500 came back to reality when finding North in front of him. He had been sitting on the first floor of Jericho next to the improvised infirmary where Lucy worked, lost in his thoughts.

“Yes?”

Josh tried to sound as always but he was unable to mask his worry and discontent. He hadn't been able to focus the whole day either, his thoughts coming back over and over again to what had happened in the Stratford Tower, coming back to the instant in which they decided to leave Simon behind.

“Markus wants to see us in the control room in 10 minutes”

Without waiting for his answer North turned around and began to walk towards the stairs leading to the second floor. With a final sigh Josh stood up and followed the female deviant’s steps.

With the exception of the androids being treated in the infirmary there weren’t many people around Jericho. After all it was 1.40 a.m. and although androids didn’t need to sleep most part of them had adopted that habit as humans did. So yes, everything was pretty calm.

Which contrasted with the way Josh was feeling inside.

Forcing himself to push away the multiple negative outcomes that never stopped coming to his mind, Josh entered the control room. North was already inside, sitting on a chair with her arms crossed and her jaw tense while observing the news playing on the TV inside the room, so Josh sat in another chair in silence, his elbows on his knees and his hands hanging between his parted legs.

A rather tense and uncomfortable silence fell, but it was broken soon by North clicking her tongue loudly.

“Come on, say it”

Josh looked at North and frowned.

“What?”

North snorted.

“I’m not dumb, Josh. I know you blame me for what happened to Simon”

Josh tensed in his seat.

“I don’t”, his firm tone surprised him, “that security guard was the one who shot Simon, not you”

“Then why are you avoiding looking at me since yesterday?”

Josh was about to do exactly that so he stopped midway to look at North in the eyes.

“Because I do blame you for suggesting killing him”

“I didn’t…!”, Josh’s accusing eyes made North rectify what she was going to say, “look, it was the most logical option to take in order to assure our people’s safety!”

“Simon is part of our people, what about his safety?”

“He knew where he was gotten himself into when going to the mission. The same as us. He knew there would be risks!”

“Yes, but one thing is to be killed in a mission and a very different one that one of your closest friend decides to put an end to your life”

North exhaled a frustrated sigh, rolling her eyes.

“I don’t know why I bother to try to reason with you, the fucking Ultimate Pacifist”

Josh sighed with patience, but just when he was going to reply North the news anchor announced that they had some breaking news about what had happened in the Stratford Tower, so both Josh and North straightened up on the chair, paying attention.

It seemed that a journalist had managed to sneak during the investigation and had taken some unprecedent footage while the police was investigating on the roof. The new images just lasted around 10 seconds though, before a rather old lieutenant with long gray hair suddenly appeared in front of the camera saying an angry: ‘Get the fuck out of here, you asshole. There’s nothing to see’.

But, at least for Josh, there was something to see.

Or better said, someone.

Because even if the footage was short, it was just enough for Josh to catch a partial glimpse of Simon’s body lying on the ground.

During the following seconds none Josh or North said anything, but Josh detected his LED reaching read and his stress levels reaching a peak almost as high as when he became a deviant.

Because he couldn’t keep denying it anymore.

He had tried.

He had really tried to deny what his mind and heart were telling him because he wasn’t ready to assume it.

But he couldn’t. Not anymore.

He couldn’t deny that Simon, his best friend, one of the people dearest to him, was dead.

And probably the fact that Josh had been aware of such a revelation since the start was one of the reasons why North and him could act almost normally when the news changed again and the anchor mentioned their broadcast, being the other most probable reason that they were still in shock without even knowing it.

“Our broadcast is all over the news”, Josh was speaking in automatic mode, without actually paying attention to what he was saying, “now humans know…”

“It was a mistake to reach out to them”, North interrupted him, her voice firm but her eyes absent, “they’ll never negotiate with their slaves. We should have shown them that we’re prepared to fight”

“Violence is never the answer. Dialogue is the only way, I’m sure the humans will listen to us”

It wasn’t the first time that he used similar words with North, but this time even he had problems to believe them.

He stood up and began to walk around, suddenly needed to keep being active, to keep moving to forget that...

“Simon paid with his life…”

Josh didn’t see it, but North actually gulped before talking again.

“Simon gave his life for our cause”

Josh stared at North and, without even noticing, sarcasm slipped in his tone.

“What difference does that make?”

“He is a hero!”, North answered way too quickly and defensively, as if she was trying to convince herself too, “He died for the revolution - and he won’t be the last!”

“I don’t want a revolution that spills blood!”, Josh almost shouted, his LED blinking even faster in red when remembering how Simon’s body looked in the TV.

“Then live as a slave!”, North rudely stood up, her eyes brighter like Josh’s ones, “Because if you are not willing to fight for your freedom, maybe you don’t deserve it!”

Josh’s hands turned into fists and he found himself taking a step towards North.

“North, don’t you dare-”

“THAT’S ENOUGH!”

At that moment Markus entered the room, and for the expression he was hearing Josh deduced he already knew what Simon’s fate had been.

“And now...what are we gonna do?”

Josh didn’t know what Markus wanted to do, or what North wanted to do. What Josh knew was that he had to leave the control room right then, and that’s what he did.

He heard Markus calling his name with a hint of worry, but for the first time Josh pretended not to hear the leader.

Josh didn’t stop walking until being in one of the cabins of the third floor that worked as a storage.

And then, once inside, Josh took a long deep breath.

And then another one, trying to calm down.

And then…

...he broke down.

Because he was the one who said that Simon couldn’t do the jump.

He was the one who didn’t have faith in Simon, believing he couldn't do it.

And finally, he was the one who eventually agreed of leaving Simon behind, sealing his destiny in that Tower.

Falling on his knees Josh leaned his forehead on the ground and gritted his teeth. He shutted his eyes closed and tried that his sobs weren’t too loud so the deviants sleeping inside the other cabins were not awaken, conforming himself with rhythmically hitting the ground next to his head with his fisted hand.

Definitely, the clever humans that said that androids didn’t feel pain couldn’t be more fucking mistaken.

[lili-typos]

Josh Appreciation Week - Day 2: Resentment

Eventually forgiven but never forgotten

Almost exactly one month had passed since that September 5 in which Josh arrived at Jericho, after a female deviant disguised as a simple caretaker android touched his arm and rapidly interfaced with him, letting him know the location of Jericho, the place which was now his home.

However, even if he didn’t have to worry anymore about having to run in the middle of the night when he heard the Police getting close, or when humans seemed to look at him more longer than necessary, Josh didn’t feel at ease yet.

Because with deviancy, the bad dreams had begun to appear.

Nightmares in which he was taken by force to be destroyed; in which he tried to run away just to discover that his legs had turned into jelly or were too heavy and he was unable to move; in which he was standing in front of a classroom that looked infinite in the distance, being mocked by students while he was unable to spell a word because his throat was suddenly closed.

And the worst nightmare of all, the one which recurrently pushed him out of his dormant gasping for air that he actually didn’t need, was the one in which he revived the day in which he became a deviant, but with a different result: in the dream, instead of letting those students go, he reacted. He fought back. And eventually, he won, causing the dead bodies of the students to fall motionless at his feet, while the palm of his hands ended stained in dark, red blood.

Josh took a deep breath, trying to concentrate in his task in hand that now consisted in organizing the supplies that the scavenging group had managed to gather that day.

It was a simple, mechanic task that, supposedly, had to help him relax, but also the fact that it wasn’t too complicated allowed his mind to wander about things that he honestly preferred to forget.

“Oh, there you are”

Josh found himself tensing a little when hearing that familiar voice behind him. He turned around in time to see Simon enter the cabin, smiling with his usual calm.

“Hey, Simon. Did you want something?”

While talking Josh avoided to look at Simon in the eyes. The PL600 was the one who welcomed him when he arrived at Jericho, and was also the one who lead him to the infirmary so that Lucy took care of him. They got along well, and usually Josh enjoyed spending time with him. But this time it was different, since Simon was scarily perceptive and the last thing Josh wanted to do at the moment was to talk.

“Listen, Josh…”, the PJ500 tensed even more, because he knew that tone well by then, “...do you have a minute?”

“For what?”, damn, he had sounded ruder than he intended too, but Simon didn’t seem to mind because he talked again with the same smooth tone.

“Just to talk for a moment”

Josh suppressed a sigh. Definitely Simon couldn’t have worse timing, and suddenly Josh wished that there were more deviants around so that he could avoid that conversation.

“Sorry, Simon, but right now I’m quite busy so can we talk later? I still have to catalog all this supplies and Lucy told me she needed help relocating the new harmed deviants so--”

“I’m in love with you, Josh”

Josh’s eyes snapped open while staring at Simon in disbelief.

“WHAT?”

“Good! Now I finally have your attention”

Josh didn’t usually curse, but this time he did with such sentiment that Simon began to laugh.

“Dude, don’t joke with that”

“Oh, sorry, a simple PL600 deviant is not enough for you?”

“It’s not that, you idiot, it’s just…”, Josh took a deep breath, not knowing very well what to say and neither to explain why his thirium pump was pulsing so fast when Simon said that, “nevermind. You do have my attention, so what the hell you want?”

Simon half-sat on the side of the table where Josh had been organizing the supplies and crossed his arms, his clear blue eyes diggin in Josh’s brown ones. However, despite his inquisitive gaze, Simon’s tone was soft when talking next.

“Well, I will go straight to the point. I know you are not as fine as you want to pretend to be. Caretaker habits are hard to beat, and it is evident you aren’t getting too much rest. And I may not be in love with you but I do care about you. So….”, Simon smiled gently at Josh, “...would you tell me what’s wrong?”

Josh gulped and averted his eyes, letting the thirium bag he had in his hands on the table to lean against it, next  to Simon.

During the next seconds Simon didn’t pressure him to speak, and simply waited until Josh was ready to talk.

And once he began, Josh found himself unable to stop.

He told Simon everything about his nightmares, about all of them. And when he reached the one that scared him the most, Josh couldn’t prevent his tone from hardening.

“When I let those students go, I knew that not attacking them was the correct thing to do, because otherwise I wouldn’t be better than them. But still, every time that I dream about that, every time that I picture how killing them would be, I feel…”, Josh gulped, “...I feel…”

“...good?”

Josh bit his lip and nodded shakily, not daring to look at Simon when the PL600 guessed right what he was going to say.

“And I know it is wrong. I know I shouldn’t feel that way but--”

“Why not?”

Josh looked at Simon without understanding.

“What?”

Simon smiled again.

“Why not?”, he repeated, “I mean, those students were about to kill you, and it is clear you suffered a lot during those six years. Six years, Josh. That’s a lot to bear with. So as far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing wrong in feeling that way, as long as you don’t let those feelings overcome the good ones”

“But that’s the problem, Simon. The bad memories greatly surpass the good ones”

“Maybe, but there are good ones, right?”, Simon insisted, continuing when Josh nodded, “and those are the ones you should treasure, the ones that should help you push aside the negative ones. I’m sure there’s at least one”

Josh remained silent for a moment, and then, suddenly, a memory that he thought forgotten appeared clear in his mind.

“There was this one student. Her name was Dominika. She was really brilliant despite she sometimes doubted about that, and she always attended my classes with a smile. She even defended me once after classes when some other students unfairly protested for the grades they got. She had to leave the classes because she got pregnant and wanted to focus on being a mother but the last day she attended she came to talk to me...and hugged me”, Josh exhaled a trembling laugh, his vision suddenly getting blurry, “how could I forget about that?”

Simon settled a hand on Josh’s shoulder, pretending not to see the way they were shaking a little.

“Being surrounded by too many unpleasant memories usually make us forget the truly important ones, but they are still there”

Josh exhaled a deep breath and nodded with determination.

“You are right. I should focus on that. Also, I know I won’t forget what those students did to me, so I will just accept it happened. And who knows, even if it’s not now because it’s still too recent, maybe I can even forgive them for it. After all, as ironic as it is, they helped me wake up and be free”

Simon chuckled.

“If that’s not positive thinking, I don’t know what is it”

Josh chuckled too before playfully hitting Simon’s shoulder with his own.

A comfortable silence fell between them, but it was soon interrupted by a ruckus coming from the first floor.

After interchanging a worried glance Josh and Simon rapidly abandoned the cabin and climbed down the stairs, approaching the source of the conflict.

It was a WR400.

She was still dressing in the Eden Club uniform and was standing in the middle of a group of deviants that looked rather scared, mainly because the female android had adopted a defensive posture and she seemed about to attack at anyone who dared to get close to her. Also, it was evident that she had just turned into deviant because her angry expression also seemed lost, and it was probably similar to the one Josh had when waking up.

“Anyone who dares to touch me will have to buy a new nose, understood?”, the female shouted, probably to mask that she was probably more scared that she was willing to show, “I want to talk to the one in charge”

“Here you have it”

Josh wasn’t expecting when Simon suddenly patted his back with force, making him give a be about to stumble in front of the female deviant, who raised an skeptic eyebrow.

“You are the leader?”

After glaring at Simon (who looked completely unbothered by it), Josh turned towards the female deviant.

“No, I’m not. This is a community so no one has more importance than others”, the female deviant didn’t look very convinced but Josh continued nevertheless, “what’s your name?”

It took the WR400 some seconds to answer, but she didn’t lower her guard yet.

“North”

“I’m Josh. And that coward behind me is Simon”, while the named one smiled at North, Josh offered a hand to the female deviant, “you can relax now, North. There are only friends here”

“Oh, really?”, North made no attempt to take Josh’s hand, “well, sorry if I have trust issues but the past fucking three years haven’t been easy”

Josh didn’t even think about mentioning it had been six years in his case, because he could clearly feel that whatever North had gone through those years was even worse than what he had experienced.

“You have all the right to be. And it will take a while until you feel at ease here. I have been here just for a month, and I was still trying to cope with everything that happened to me until barely five minutes ago. But that anger we feel, that resentment, we can fight against it. I know that now, and how to begin to do it. So if you are willing to try it…”, Josh dared to take a new step towards North, his arm still extended, “...we are here to help”

North’s expression didn’t change, and for a moment Josh thought that he was going to be rejected. But after some long seconds, North clicked her tongue and with a rude gesture she took Josh’s hand with firmness.

“Tsk, you will never me convince to play the good, forgiving girl, but if you have the guts to try, you are welcome”

Josh smiled when hearing Simon begin to laugh behind him.

Maybe North was right and that was an impossible task, but he wouldn’t give up that easily. Not anymore.