#josh barlowe oc

[bibaybe]

Teen Wolf OC Masterlist

Teen Wolf

Grayson Bishop

age: 17

character type: side character

appearances: season 5 (minor), season 6 (main)

gender and pronouns: cis man, he/him

sexuality: bisexual

love interest: josh diaz, theo raeken

faceclaim: anthony turpel

series: running with the wolves

summary: part of the moonwood pack, led by sullivan lahey. younger brother of sullivan's girlfriend(tba). only human allowed with the pack due to his sister's influence. turned into a chimera in season 5 and later resurrected by theo raeken.

links: playlist / tag

James Lahey

age: 41

character type: side character

appearances: season 4 (minor), season 5 (main)

gender and pronouns: cis man, he/him

sexuality: straight

love interest: genesis bishop

faceclaim: tom hardy

series: running with the wolves

summary:n/a

links: playlist / tag

Jayda Barlowe

age: 16-18

character type: side character

appearances: season 2-6 (minor)

gender and pronouns: cis woman, she/her

sexuality: straight

love interest: n/a

faceclaim: skai jackson

series: running with the wolves

summary: tba

links: playlist / tag/ fic- runaway

Jian Zhao

age: 16

character type: side character

appearances: season 2 (minor), season 3 (main), season 4 (main), season 5 (minor), season 6 (minor)

gender and pronouns: cis man, he/him

sexuality: gay

love interest: isaac lahey

faceclaim: wang zi yi

series: running with the wolves

summary: Jian had grown up on stories of special people with abilities far beyond normal humans. People who could run faster than Olympians, who were more agile than gymnasts, who were clairvoyant, though he wouldn’t know what that meant until he was older. The Zouyu had been his heroes since he was young, but they were nothing but daydreams to him, no matter how much his grandmother said that they were real. That is, until the day he looked at Scott McCall in the hallway and all he was red, screaming in his head.  The moment shook him. But when Scott came to school the next day, suddenly ripped and amazing at lacrosse, Jian shook it off. Obviously, Scott was fine, right? Whatever he saw, it must have been his imagination. Over time though, these moments began to happen more and more, and soon enough he came to realize that his grandmother was right - the Zouyu were real. And his family were part of them.  Suddenly able to relate to his grandmother on another level, he began working with her to understand his visions. His sister may not have gotten the gift of clairvoyance, but she was certainly agile and fast enough that they could spar against each other evenly matched. And things were fine, for a while. Suddenly being known as the weird kid who likes to pop his nose into others’ business with annoyingly good advice is certainly a plus. That is, until Jian’s at a lacrosse game and looks at new girl, Willow Lahey, and sees her chained to the floor, red tinting the vision. And suddenly, his gift is no longer something fun but something that can effect real life.

links: tag / fic - runaway

Lisha Zhao

age: 15

character type: side character

appearances: season 3 (minor), season 4 (main), season 5 (minor), season 6 (main)

gender and pronouns: cis woman, she/her

sexuality: lesbian

love interest: willow lahey, hayden romero

faceclaim: peyton elizabeth lee

series: running with the wolves

summary: N/A

links: playlist / tag

Willow Lahey

age: 16

character type: main character

appearances: season 2-6 (main)

gender and pronouns: cis woman, she/her

sexuality: bisexual

love interest: lisha zhao, stiles stilinski

faceclaim: kiernan shipka

series: running with the wolves

summary:Abandoned by her father to the foster care system, Willow has spent her life dreaming for a family who would love her for who she is. The next twelve years are hell. That is, until she sneaks into her social worker’s office and discovers that, after all this time, she’s had family just a bus ride away. Determined to get out of the precarious situation she’s in, Willow runs away to Beacon Hills, eager to convince her uncle to take her in. Instead, she discovers her uncle has just been murdered and her cousin, Isaac, is the prime suspect. Now the police are asking questions, two boys who claim to be Isaac’s friend are hovering around her, and weird things are happening all around her. It doesn’t help that her social worker is livid and determined to take her back to the orphanage, leaving Willow fighting to stay in Beacon Hills while also trying to discover the truth behind her cousin’s mysterious disappearance.

links: playlist / tag / fic - runaway

Yùméi Zhao

age: 51

character type: side character

appearances: season 3-6 (minor)

gender and pronouns: cis woman, she/her

sexuality: lesbian

love interest: n/a

faceclaim: ming-na wen

series: running with the wolves

summary: Lisha and Jian's grandmother. A zouyu. Runs an antiques shop and employs Willow in later seasons.

links: playlist / tag

[oddsconvert]

I really wanna see Joshy being forced to stay awake for days. He gets so desperate to sleep that he even sweet talks Felix, ya know, desperate times.

Exhaustion clings to Josh like a leech. It feeds off his vigour and drains away any remnant of lucidity. He teeters on the edge of collapse; his body totally spent and mind shrouded in fog. Just as his heavy eyelids flutter shut for what must be the millionth time, a shock of electricity winds around his throat like a serpent, jolting him awake with a warbled cry. Josh’s hands fly to his throat, tingling and near-numb fingers scratch and desperately rip at the collar strapped to his neck. He chokes on a silent scream as hot-pain streams through his veins. 

“Eyes on me,” Felix orders with a sickly-sweet grin, he fidgets with the shock collar remote in his palm before pocketing it. “Oh, am I boring you, darling?”

Josh can barely see Felix through the tears brimming his bloodshot eyes. His jittering body slumps and his head lolls against his chest, drool slipping from his lips.

“Please -” Josh croaks, his voice coarse like sandpaper. He gulps down a sob. “Please - I - I can’t-”

-can't stand to stay awake for a second longer. Countless days and sleepless nights have blurred and bled into one waking nightmare. Josh can't remember when he was last allowed to simply fall into the sweet surrender of sleep, nor can he remember how it feels to just let his eyes slip shut and his brain switch off - his only true escape from Felix.

It had never occurred to him that sleep was a luxury that he could have denied…

“You can. You will. Remember this is your choice, my sweet. Not mine.”

What’s left of Josh’s mind races. It doesn’t make a lick of sense. He isn’t afforded choice, that was a long-learned lesson, taught through blood, sweat and tears. If he had the freedom of choice, he wouldn’t be here, huddled in the corner - fatigue eating away at him. The other night, when Josh begged Felix through breathless, hiccupping sobs that he didn’t want to sleep with Felix, he couldn’t sleep with Felix, he was terrified of the thought of going to bed and what that would bring…did he have a choice then?

Josh’s eyes suddenly and uncontrollably roll into the back of his head, his body growing limp once again. Felix clicks his fingers against the bridge of Josh’s nose to snap him back. Josh groans in weary frustration. 

“If - If you… llloved me, you’d let me sl-sleep-” Josh mumbles without a thought to the words leaving his lips. He doesn’t clock the way Felix sees red in that moment, steam nearly blowing out his ears.

“Stop that,” Felix snarls. Fists clenched tight. “What have we talked about, Josh? About you manipulating me-”

How is it that Josh always winds up the villain and never the victim? His attempts at survival and bids for peace deemed calculated and cunning? If he had the wherewithal, maybe he’d think of his mum saying it’s like “the pot calling the kettle black” and snicker to himself… instead he blinks blankly and at a snail's pace.

“You know the deal,” Felix chastises, “It’s quite simple, really. Nearly as simple as you-”

That hits Josh like a blow. Like a sucker punch to the gut. He slumps further against the wall, his head rolling back as if his neck were made of lead.

“You sleep with me, or not at all. It’s your choice, baby. Deprive yourself into a slow madness… or just let me hold you through the night.”

Josh knows. He’s not the fucking idiot Felix makes him out to be. He knows deep down that he’ll never win the battle of the wills - not against Felix. He’s grasping onto consciousness by a string: his eyes feel like acid has been poured into them - his body feels like it might crumble to dust. Josh has to give Felix what he wants, to get what he needs. It’s a transaction. Nothing more. That’s what he’ll tell himself. 

A memory foam mattress. Warm blankets. A night’s sleep. Is it worth it?

He forces himself onto all fours, even as his muscles scream and throb in protest. He crawls across the filthy floor until he reaches Felix and crumbles at Felix’s feet. His pounding head rests against Felix’s leg and he dares to close his eyes. A chesty sigh stretches into a yawn.

“I-I’m sorry…for-for playing up…” Josh mutters miserably. “I-I don’t know what came over me - I don’t know why I do this, I just -....take me to bed? Please?” He blinks up at Felix, batting his long but tear-drenched lashes.

Felix hums, carding his hand through Josh’s locks of hair, “Change of heart, my beautiful boy?”

Josh nods, but it just makes his nausea increase ten-fold. “I - I want to sleep…with you. In our bed. I wa-want you to hold me…through the night.”

For a second, Josh thinks that maybe Felix is right - he might be manipulative. He’ll say whatever he has to, to get whatever he wants. He’s playing Felix like a fiddle and he prays it’s working. Josh pulls himself to his knees, his eyes shining at Felix and his hands together in supplication.

“I’ll make it up to you. I promise. I’ll be so good. I’ll be…complaisant-”

“Complaisant?” Felix purrs, and he palms himself through his trousers. Josh has to fight back bile. But this is the price he has to pay. “You better not be teasing me, baby.”

“You’re too good to me,” Josh sniffles, “Too patient. I don’t deserve it-”

“No. You do not.”

Felix scoops Josh up into a bridal carry, as though he’s as light as a feather. It makes him feel so impossibly small and frail. The sudden swooping motion makes his stomach churn and the world twist. 

“And I’ll make sure you never forget it.”

[oddsconvert]

OH.MY.GOD I AM SPEECHLESSSSSSS!!! THIS IS PHENOMENAL, I AM DYINGGG BAHAHAHAHGA!!! A THOUSAND GOLD STARS AND ALL THE LOVE TO YOU!!! ❤️⭐❤️⭐❤️⭐❤️⭐ I LOVE THIS SO MUCH, I HAVEN'T STOPPED CACKLING! THE THOUGHT OF JOSH SAYING BROTHER EUGH TO FELIX 💀💀💀💀 OH HE WOULD BE SO SO IN FOR IT!

Thank you so so much!!! 😭😍 This is INCREDIBLE - I love the tears in his eyes as he's being dragged back to the basement too 😋😉

So, there’s a trend on tik tok for a song and it’s basically the words you see here. I thought it fit these two perfectly, so here’s a little comic for shits and giggles.

Presenting Josh and Felix from @oddsconvert Play Pretend.

And here’s a little aftermath too.

Poor baby blue 😅 sorry not sorry.

- 🪻

[oddsconvert]

I need everyone to look at this HILARIOUS and super yummy art that the amazingly talented and brilliant @sorrowful-hyacinth made based off some of my recent anon asks!!!! 🤣😍💖

I laughed way too hard at this omg - I CHERISH IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART!!! THANK YOU! ❤️❤️❤️ I have the bestest anons hehehe, they're always gunning for my boysss 😌🤭

[oddsconvert]

what other kind of things are josh not allowed to have? like what random objects would felix consider "contraband" and take away?

Josh has A LOT of rules and restrictions. This is just a little list of some of the things he's not allowed, things that are kept from him, and some other rules.

He isn't allowed razors. If Felix decides Josh's face is getting too stubbly for his liking? Felix will restrain him and shave Josh's face himself. (Yep. He's really that much of a control freak. Same with haircuts.)

None of the mirrors are glass. All it would take is for Josh to punch one out of anger and oh look, he's got a neat little shard of glass as a weapon. Big no no.

Felix has a games console (I'm thinking PlayStation). Josh is not allowed to play on it, despite how much he begs and pleads to be able play a game to relieve his boredom. It's a no, in case there's online multiplayer or communication features.

Josh isn't allowed deodorant. Felix is sure it would make a pretty good mock mace/pepper spray, but doesn't plan on testing that theory.

Quite obvious one - no belts, no strings: Felix will remove the strings from hoodies/joggers.

Josh isn't allowed any clocks/calendars down in the basement. In the house is fine, but especially later on in the story, the basement becomes a place of punishment. Felix wants Josh to be disorientated and have no concept of time down there, to be reliant on Felix. Has he been locked down there for hours or days?

Josh isn't allowed to take baths/showers alone (the showers rule changes as their 'relationship' develops). Felix must always help him. Whether that's because Felix doesn't trust Josh not to do something stupid, or because he's just a nasty piece of work who wants to take advantage of the opportunity - I'll leave that to you to decide!

I'm SURE there's so many mundane household objects that Felix has banned that aren't coming to mind right now. Felix is an utter control freak.

[oddsconvert]

Forgive me for reblogging off your post but I really really wanted to write a Play Pretend snippet with this 🥺👉👈 I love this prompt A LOT.

---

"It’s over now. Everyone tells me it’s over. I’m supposed to believe them. So why can’t I let go of this?"

Josh's voice cracks into a choked sob. Alec rushes up from his seat at the dining table, speeding over to Josh and placing a gentle, reassuring hand on his shoulder. But Josh jumps out of his damn skin with a cry, quickly shoving him away. His eyes blown wide and dilated in fear, before he realises...

See. Even still. He can't help but see pain with every touch. It's not fair on Alec, he deserves better, too. He deserves more than someone fearing him, rejecting his love and affection. Alec has never put a foot wrong, not once given Josh a reason to be scared.

It's all Felix's doing. A year down the line, and Felix still has him trained.

"I still wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in cold sweat. My hands crossed behind my back, screaming Felix's name until my throat burns raw. Why do I still see his face in every stranger I meet on the street?"

Alec listens intently with a heavy sigh. Slowly reaching for Josh's hands and holding them in his own, caressing with his thumb.

"He's gone. And I know he's gone. And yet I still feel trapped. I feel suffocated, worse than when I had a fucking shock collar around my neck. This is the part where I'm supposed to be free and live my life, and somehow...beyond the grave, he's still got his hands around my throat. He's still got his hands on me, claws in me."

A lone tear trickles down his cheeks, Alec quickly wipes it away.

"I don't think he'll ever let go."

It’s over now. Everyone tells me it’s over. I’m supposed to believe them. So why can’t I let go of this?

[oddsconvert]

Honestly, I know Felix is crazy and like he’s definitely tormented Josh in the main series already but I didn’t know he could get that violent. The way Josh sounds like he looks is a serious beating, like something probably could’ve broke. Like damn Felix, do you love him? That drabble just made me realize what he’s willing to do and it’s scary.

And the worst thing is, I can promise you that he can get a lot worse. Felix is terrifying. Absolute whiplash whumper - he'll be doting and enamoured one minute and the next he's beating Josh to a bloody pulp. Josh was in a very bad shape in that drabble, Felix did not hold back, he just saw red and ravaged him. He sees himself as the victim in that scenario too. Afterall, Josh scratched him... so his reaction was 'warranted' according to him :/

[oddsconvert]

"Open it." For my boy Josh (prompt for the five sentence fic!)

"Open it."

It isn't a request.

It's a dare. An ice-cold threat that freezes Josh to the spot. He stands paralyzed, his clammy palm welded to the doorknob. Josh's sorry life flashes before his bloodshot eyes, and his freedom taunts him from the other side of the unlocked door. It calls him, it pulls him like a magnet.

Josh wants to live, and not just survive. He wants his life back. His simple, mundane life. He'd give anything and everything to blend back into the world and fade into the background.

"Go on, Joshy. See what happens the second you open that door." Felix stalks closer but Josh doesn't face him. He can't face him. With his puffy, tear-stained cheeks and deer-in-headlight eyes. Josh's ears prick up at the sound of slow footsteps coming to a stop just over his shoulder.

"You know I'd catch you, don't you, honey?" Felix half purrs, half growls. Josh's thumping heart falls to the pit of his stomach. "God have mercy on you, I'd hunt you down like a wild animal. And when I finally find you...?"

Josh physically cringes and shrivels up as Felix nibbles at Josh's neck and kisses the dip of his collarbone. Felix slowly reaches around to place his hand on top of Josh's shaking one, on the door handle, and pulls it away.

"I'd snap your legs like twigs," Felix whispers in Josh's ear. "I would just love you bed-bound. It would be my dream come true, baby... the things I'd do to you..."

Josh hears Felix actually lick his lips and his gut suddenly twists. Josh thought his life was already a fate worse than death...somehow, it can get worse. He spins around to face Felix, eyes blown wide and sparkling - his lip wobbling like a small child.

It's a risk he's not willing to take. Any foolish bravery suddenly dissolves and his fight or flight suddenly switches off. Josh just feels empty.

He collapses into Felix's arms in a slump. His body rockets with sobs as Felix cradles him and smoothes the jet-black hair over his scalp.

"Sweet boy," Felix mumurs dotingly, "sweet, confused little boy. You know you belong with me, don't you?"

Josh nods miserably into Felix's chest.

"I'm the only one who knows you inside and out, who will take care of your every want and need. You'll never leave me, baby-blue."

[oddsconvert]

...Say I were to, mayhaps, write a cage whump drabble...who would you want to see in a cage? 👀

[oddsconvert]

OHMYYYGODDDDDDDD THEYRE SO DAMN CUTE WTHH 😍🤩 (mainly you Josh, Felix is a horrible bastard man-)

THANK YOU THANK YOU 🥹🥰🫶 YOURE SO KINDDD WTH, THIS IS AWESOME

@oddsconvert Felix and josh play pretend <3

kurtis kuntri is the one taking the photo (whether Felix asked for it or not)

there is more art, but this just had to be done

[oddsconvert]

Joshy playing Mario kart with his boyfriend and him always choosing yoshi because it sounds like his name

Anon. ANON! I love you SO MUCH for this!!! This is such a cute prompt, giggling and kicking my feeties!

This is post-captivity Josh and his boyfriend, Alec! <3

- “UNSELECT YOSHI RIGHT NOW!” Alec’s voice booms loud enough to trigger a magnitude seven earthquake. With lightning speed, Alec's red controller flies across the room, landing with a clatter as he lunges for Josh's blue one. He pounces on Josh’s lap, straddling him, their bodies intertwining in a tangle of wriggling limbs. 

“Nuh-uh!” Josh giggles infectiously until he’s red in the face. He holds his switch controller high in the air, out of reach, and wrestles Alec with his free hand. “Snooze you lose! I got to him first!”

“But I’m Yoshi!” Alec exclaims, his arms shooting up and swatting at the controller like a playful cat.

“Since when were you Yoshi?” Josh challenges.

“Uhm, I don’t know… since like - FOREVER-” 

Josh's laughter explodes into a full-blown cackle as Alec's attempts to steal the controller grow increasingly desperate. His legs kick wildly, trying to gain leverage, while his hands flail like a windmill.  

“Can’t you just be dry bones or something?!” Josh huffs, with a cheeky roll of his eyes. 

Alec freezes, his eyes widening in mock horror. He holds his palm flat against his chest, like an old lady clutching her pearls. “...You did not just suggest dry bones to me, Joshua!” he gasps, “Never have I ever been so offended in my life!”

“Why the hell do you want to be Yoshi so bad?!”

"He's my good luck charm, I always win when I play as him," Alec boasts, a smug grin spreading across his face. His eyes narrow. "Why do YOU want to be Yoshi so bad?" he demands, crossing his arms.

Josh’s face flushes a deep red as he ducks his head, trying to hide his embarrassment. “He…His name sounds like my name… Yoshi… Joshy -”

Alec's stern expression melts into a tender smile. His heart skips a beat. A small, involuntary and smitten smile creeps in. “...Aww -  dammit … that’s… kind of adorable,” he murmurs, “Okay, okay! I’ll guess I’ll let you have your way, my love. Just this once!”

“You say that,” Josh teases, his arms wrapping around Alec’s waist, “but you know I always get my way.”

Alec's lips curve into a knowing smile. Leaning in, he captures Josh's gaze but nearly gets lost in those eyes. He shakes free of Josh’s alluring spell. "Oh, do you?" His voice a low, husky promise. Before Josh could respond, Alec gently closes the distance between them, their lips meeting in a soft, sweet kiss. 

Josh's breath caught in his throat as Alec's lips touches his. His eyelashes flutter closed as he surrenders to the moment. It’s a sensation Josh fears may always feel foreign to him. The freedom of choice, the safety of another’s embrace, the tenderness. For so long, touch had been a weapon, a tool of coercion. The idea of touch would make Josh break out in hives. Now, it was his language of love - a silent declaration of trust and affection. 

With Alec, there’s never fear, or dread. Only peace. 

When they finally pull apart, eternities later, his heart was racing and Alec’s eyes were sparkling. 

"Didn't say I'd let you win though, did I?" Alec purrs.

Josh chuckles softly. "You're so mean to me," he replies, feigning hurt, before pulling Alec back in for another kiss.

[oddsconvert]

I have wrote/answered an ask for a drabble with Josh where Felix is depriving him of sleep but I can't decided whether it's hot garbage or not, do I just say screw it and post it anyway??

[oddsconvert]

i remember felix said he watched josh for a year before starting their relationship together... is there anything that felix has incorporated into their lives from that time of surveillance? that maybe josh notices a few small things like always having his favorite dessert and/or wine, playing his favorite musician/songs, full stocked on his favorite hair products, etc and maybe after a while josh puts two and two together that it's not just coincidence, but that felix knows all of this from stalking him?

and how would that make josh feel?? 🫠🫠🫠

DINGDINGDING! YES YOU ARE EXACTLY RIGHT AND THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE DETAILS ABOUT PLAY PRETEND THAT I HAVEN'T GOT TO TALK ABOUT MUCH!!

Felix knows so much about Josh, he probably knows things that Josh didn't even realise about himself! He knows all that and more. And he'll definitely try and win Josh over with all he learnt 😌 with his favourite music, favourite food, favourite films - hell, Felix knows what schools Josh went to, that he's a night owl and never an early bird, the street he grew up on, how Josh's dad died-

I'm not sure I've mentioned this but Felix would BREAK into Josh's apartment. He wouldn't just linger in shadowed streets. He would rifle through all of Josh's belongings and steal from him. Any photographs, hairbrushes, underwear, his aftershave, his mail - literally anything and everything that caught his eye that he could get his hands on. And Felix would hide in the apartment and watch him - he'd even watch him having sex... 🤢 Felix has a wholeeee load of photos and videos that he took of Josh during that year of stalking him, along with his little trinket box of stolen goods.

And obviously, Josh is MORTIFIED to find this out. Sick to his stomach. Things start making sense. Things that went missing, when he thought he'd heard a creak in his flat. As if he couldn't feel any more violated, and any less in control 🥲

[oddsconvert]

(to Felix) "It's ok that Josh doesn't love you... you deserve to be loved, maybe one day you'll find someone who loves you like you love him. *Exactly* how you love him. Someone who'll drug you and drag you into a shitty basement, beat you up and yell at you, brand you like cattle, and say it's because they LOVE you! And if you don't like it, if you don't love that person... all the better, so you can learn, learn that they want the best for you... it's what love is, and you deserve it, right?

Felix holds Josh closer. Tighter. His lover squirms in his drugged sleep, soft breaths whistle through his nostrils. Felix's heart throbs and swells to a size that threatens to crack his ribcage. He feels like he could never love Josh anymore than he does in this second - but he knows that's impossible. Every minute, every hour, every day - for all their life they'll spend together - Josh will find new ways to make Felix fall deeper in love him.

"I could never expect you to understand." Felix begins to answer you, but he doesn't take his hungry eyes off his sleeping beauty for a fraction of a second. "You, or anyone else, for that matter. What we have... it transcends love. We live and breathe each other. We better each other. He makes me the very best version of myself, and I him."

Felix swipes the sweat-slicked hair from Josh's buttoned-shut eyes, tucking it behind his ears. Josh weakly moans as Felix presses a kiss on his lips, as though he might wake his prince from the sleeping curse.

"The universe conspired for him to fall into my arms. It was always meant to be me and him. We deserve each other, we make each other happy. I love him more than he's ever been loved. What else would you want?"

[oddsconvert]

I'm so so sorry to hear you've had a shit day and that you're struggling, friend. I am sending you all the air hugs. You deserve a break and I hope you take care of yourself extra hard the next couple of days!

Ok questions you asked for, and you shall receive!

(trigger warning: potential self harm mention)

Does Josh have a mantra or something to remind himself not to give in/give up while he's playing into Felix's whims?? I know you've said he has to play pretend to survive, but how does he keep himself sane? Or maybe he finds/makes a secret artifact to give him comfort? I'm imagining him being so lonely and dejected after giving into Felix after awhile and I don't want him to get too depressed :(

Would Josh ever hurt himself to try to get away from Felix?

Does Felix find anything else "incriminating" or suspicious to him on Josh's phone?

Does Felix have any other friends besides Kurtis?

Would Felix ever video record Josh?

Obviously please only answer what you have capacity for and ignore anything you'd like! I am definitely a rambler. I am here for you friend and I appreciate you and think you are very cool! 🤗

Thank you so so much 💞😭🫂 all the love to you!!! ❤️

I'll answer in bulletpoints!

Josh always tells himself that Felix may have his body but never his mind - he fights so hard to play along and pretend to keep his mind intact, and to never let himself slip into the delusion. His survival instincts are so strong - he doesn't want to give up, he doesn't want to die (he's scared of dying). He wants to live and not just survive - he tells himself when he goes home, he will make something of his life and break the cycle he was living in.

- in terms of a secret artifact to give him comfort, I've yet to show this in the story - but when Felix raided Josh's apartment and picked up his clothes, he also took a knitted blanket that Josh's mother made for him that he's had since he was born... Felix gives him that. Josh is over the moon to have his comfort item, and he uses it as his motivation and reminder too. (of course Felix always uses it against Josh and threatens to confiscate it/burn it if he's naughty.)

Josh would try and hurt himself to get away from Felix - desperate times call for desperate measures. Definitely when he gets tunnel vision and reaches low points. It would be hard to do so - with the constant restraints, sedation and cameras (Felix won't let him out of sight, not after what happened with Aaron). But if Josh can do something to land him in hospital 👀 he will. Without hesitation.

Felix never turns Josh's phone on ever again. It's switched off and locked away in his desk drawer in his study. He has, however, downloaded all he needs to onto his laptop. Messages, photos, even his music. He does find photos/texts/videos of Josh and Alec that flares Felix's jealousy and he's enraged when he reads messages between Josh and his previous hookups 😬

Felix DOES have other friends beside Kurtis! Only a handful, and a select, trusted few know about Josh. Two others we'll get very acquanited with, one of them coming soon in the storyline 👀

Yes, omg, Felix definitely DOES video record Josh! At all his worst and vulnerable moments, I can assure you. Felix has a whole harddrive dedicated to his pictures of videos of Josh. I love the image of my poor boy just so hurt and out of it - tears streaming and suddenly a flashlight blinds his eyes as Felix films him 🤌