#Josh barlowe oc

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Honestly, I know Felix is crazy and like he’s definitely tormented Josh in the main series already but I didn’t know he could get that violent. The way Josh sounds like he looks is a serious beating, like something probably could’ve broke. Like damn Felix, do you love him? That drabble just made me realize what he’s willing to do and it’s scary.

And the worst thing is, I can promise you that he can get a lot worse. Felix is terrifying. Absolute whiplash whumper - he'll be doting and enamoured one minute and the next he's beating Josh to a bloody pulp. Josh was in a very bad shape in that drabble, Felix did not hold back, he just saw red and ravaged him. He sees himself as the victim in that scenario too. Afterall, Josh scratched him... so his reaction was 'warranted' according to him :/

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AHHHHHHHH I LOVE DESPERATE JOSH!!!!!!! (Make him submit more in the future 😉)

AHAHA YES! ME TOO!! I PROMISE, THERE IS A LOT OF DESPERATE, SUBMISSIVE JOSH TO COME 👀💕

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I really wanna see Joshy being forced to stay awake for days. He gets so desperate to sleep that he even sweet talks Felix, ya know, desperate times.

Exhaustion clings to Josh like a leech. It feeds off his vigour and drains away any remnant of lucidity. He teeters on the edge of collapse; his body totally spent and mind shrouded in fog. Just as his heavy eyelids flutter shut for what must be the millionth time, a shock of electricity winds around his throat like a serpent, jolting him awake with a warbled cry. Josh’s hands fly to his throat, tingling and near-numb fingers scratch and desperately rip at the collar strapped to his neck. He chokes on a silent scream as hot-pain streams through his veins. 

“Eyes on me,” Felix orders with a sickly-sweet grin, he fidgets with the shock collar remote in his palm before pocketing it. “Oh, am I boring you, darling?”

Josh can barely see Felix through the tears brimming his bloodshot eyes. His jittering body slumps and his head lolls against his chest, drool slipping from his lips.

“Please -” Josh croaks, his voice coarse like sandpaper. He gulps down a sob. “Please - I - I can’t-”

-can't stand to stay awake for a second longer. Countless days and sleepless nights have blurred and bled into one waking nightmare. Josh can't remember when he was last allowed to simply fall into the sweet surrender of sleep, nor can he remember how it feels to just let his eyes slip shut and his brain switch off - his only true escape from Felix.

It had never occurred to him that sleep was a luxury that he could have denied…

“You can. You will. Remember this is your choice, my sweet. Not mine.”

What’s left of Josh’s mind races. It doesn’t make a lick of sense. He isn’t afforded choice, that was a long-learned lesson, taught through blood, sweat and tears. If he had the freedom of choice, he wouldn’t be here, huddled in the corner - fatigue eating away at him. The other night, when Josh begged Felix through breathless, hiccupping sobs that he didn’t want to sleep with Felix, he couldn’t sleep with Felix, he was terrified of the thought of going to bed and what that would bring…did he have a choice then?

Josh’s eyes suddenly and uncontrollably roll into the back of his head, his body growing limp once again. Felix clicks his fingers against the bridge of Josh’s nose to snap him back. Josh groans in weary frustration. 

“If - If you… llloved me, you’d let me sl-sleep-” Josh mumbles without a thought to the words leaving his lips. He doesn’t clock the way Felix sees red in that moment, steam nearly blowing out his ears.

“Stop that,” Felix snarls. Fists clenched tight. “What have we talked about, Josh? About you manipulating me-”

How is it that Josh always winds up the villain and never the victim? His attempts at survival and bids for peace deemed calculated and cunning? If he had the wherewithal, maybe he’d think of his mum saying it’s like “the pot calling the kettle black” and snicker to himself… instead he blinks blankly and at a snail's pace.

“You know the deal,” Felix chastises, “It’s quite simple, really. Nearly as simple as you-”

That hits Josh like a blow. Like a sucker punch to the gut. He slumps further against the wall, his head rolling back as if his neck were made of lead.

“You sleep with me, or not at all. It’s your choice, baby. Deprive yourself into a slow madness… or just let me hold you through the night.”

Josh knows. He’s not the fucking idiot Felix makes him out to be. He knows deep down that he’ll never win the battle of the wills - not against Felix. He’s grasping onto consciousness by a string: his eyes feel like acid has been poured into them - his body feels like it might crumble to dust. Josh has to give Felix what he wants, to get what he needs. It’s a transaction. Nothing more. That’s what he’ll tell himself. 

A memory foam mattress. Warm blankets. A night’s sleep. Is it worth it?

He forces himself onto all fours, even as his muscles scream and throb in protest. He crawls across the filthy floor until he reaches Felix and crumbles at Felix’s feet. His pounding head rests against Felix’s leg and he dares to close his eyes. A chesty sigh stretches into a yawn.

“I-I’m sorry…for-for playing up…” Josh mutters miserably. “I-I don’t know what came over me - I don’t know why I do this, I just -....take me to bed? Please?” He blinks up at Felix, batting his long but tear-drenched lashes.

Felix hums, carding his hand through Josh’s locks of hair, “Change of heart, my beautiful boy?”

Josh nods, but it just makes his nausea increase ten-fold. “I - I want to sleep…with you. In our bed. I wa-want you to hold me…through the night.”

For a second, Josh thinks that maybe Felix is right - he might be manipulative. He’ll say whatever he has to, to get whatever he wants. He’s playing Felix like a fiddle and he prays it’s working. Josh pulls himself to his knees, his eyes shining at Felix and his hands together in supplication.

“I’ll make it up to you. I promise. I’ll be so good. I’ll be…complaisant-”

“Complaisant?” Felix purrs, and he palms himself through his trousers. Josh has to fight back bile. But this is the price he has to pay. “You better not be teasing me, baby.”

“You’re too good to me,” Josh sniffles, “Too patient. I don’t deserve it-”

“No. You do not.”

Felix scoops Josh up into a bridal carry, as though he’s as light as a feather. It makes him feel so impossibly small and frail. The sudden swooping motion makes his stomach churn and the world twist. 

“And I’ll make sure you never forget it.”

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Lmao I was shocked tbh... I really thought Alec was a bald man in his 30s, y'know a bit like Mr Clean

I wonder where this association comes from

Not the Mr Clean! 🤣 Ahahaha but honestly, feel free to headcanon him as that if you'd like! 😭🤣

But yeah, Josh and Alec are the same age (23 y/o), they went to school together!

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What was Alec’s job before he dropped everything to try and find Josh?

- @another-whump-sideblog

He worked as a financial manager for a tech company! Not too exciting but I'm sure his life is about to get a hell of a lot more interesting 😅😉

Alec actually used to live where Josh does. They'd spend a large portion of their free time together. They'd go on dog walks together all the time too (hence why he's familiar to Milo!). Alec was offered a promotion in his job, but with the caveat that he'd have to relocate and move for the position. Unfortunately for Josh, Alec took the opportunity 😔

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I know I've said it before, but damn I love Alec in Play Pretend 😭 so much. And I'm glad that even though Josh doesn't know it - even whilst he's going through hell - he has someone who really does love him and thinks the world of him, and would do anything to find him and bring him home 🥺

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what does felix have as his phone lock screen/home screen? is he the type of person who would have photos of his bf on it? maybe of them cuddling in bed while josh was sleeping or a photo of josh in the cafe from before their relationship started? how romantic, felix would say!

and what if josh caught a glimpse of felix's phone by accident one day and saw the photos of himself? would he agree with felix about how romantic it was?? 🫣

Early days, it would 100% be a candid photo of Josh! I definitely do picture it being a cute, sneaky snapped pic of Josh in the cafe. (bent over a table cleaning? 🤪) Or maybe one of Josh's profile pictures off social media that he's screenshotted 👀

I'd say as Felix works more at breaking Josh down and making him the sweet and complaint boy he wants, it would definitely be a couples selfie of them both cuddling in bed, or out in the field - Josh with the most obviously forced smile that doesn't meet his eyes and Felix like 😄😍😆 or one of those couples backgrounds where they're both kissing and not looking at the camera 🫣

Josh would NOT agree that it's romantic ahahaha. Maybe he'd lie and say that it was to Felix and that the photos are cute, but he would hate hate HATE seeing his background as them. He hates it when it all feels normal and he feels insane - when Felix does normal relationship things and Josh can't help but question himself.

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what other kind of things are josh not allowed to have? like what random objects would felix consider "contraband" and take away?

Josh has A LOT of rules and restrictions. This is just a little list of some of the things he's not allowed, things that are kept from him, and some other rules.

He isn't allowed razors. If Felix decides Josh's face is getting too stubbly for his liking? Felix will restrain him and shave Josh's face himself. (Yep. He's really that much of a control freak. Same with haircuts.)

None of the mirrors are glass. All it would take is for Josh to punch one out of anger and oh look, he's got a neat little shard of glass as a weapon. Big no no.

Felix has a games console (I'm thinking PlayStation). Josh is not allowed to play on it, despite how much he begs and pleads to be able play a game to relieve his boredom. It's a no, in case there's online multiplayer or communication features.

Josh isn't allowed deodorant. Felix is sure it would make a pretty good mock mace/pepper spray, but doesn't plan on testing that theory.

Quite obvious one - no belts, no strings: Felix will remove the strings from hoodies/joggers.

Josh isn't allowed any clocks/calendars down in the basement. In the house is fine, but especially later on in the story, the basement becomes a place of punishment. Felix wants Josh to be disorientated and have no concept of time down there, to be reliant on Felix. Has he been locked down there for hours or days?

Josh isn't allowed to take baths/showers alone (the showers rule changes as their 'relationship' develops). Felix must always help him. Whether that's because Felix doesn't trust Josh not to do something stupid, or because he's just a nasty piece of work who wants to take advantage of the opportunity - I'll leave that to you to decide!

I'm SURE there's so many mundane household objects that Felix has banned that aren't coming to mind right now. Felix is an utter control freak.

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Josh only needs that plastic cutlery, a lighter, and a bit of imagination to melt the blunt knife into something that can actually shank tf out of Felix. I believe in you, buddy <3

GET HIM, JOSH! CHEF HIM UP 🗡️

But if Josh is getting hold of a lighter... 🙈

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Is joshy gay?

Yep! He even has an actual male love interest in the pipeline! 👀

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If he were to kidnap someone to be their child, would Felix want a boy or a girl?

Ooo good question! I think if it were to happen (it's not going to but in our hypothetical land), Felix would want a boy. That's purely based on Chapter Four, where Josh had his little meltdown and let slip that he 'likes the name Alfie for a boy' 😖 Felix remembers things.

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Felix + kuntri

forget Josh he doesn’t matter anymore

NOOOOO ASDFGHJKL NOT MY POOR JOSHY!

I feel like we need a ship name though.....Funtri. Kuntrix.

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Does Josh ever learn ab Felix upbringing n stuff, if so s it through Felix telling him or does Josh put together what happened on his own…

The puzzle pieces kind of come together a few different ways.

Felix tells Josh a few stories and memories from his upbringing that gives Josh a little insight. Felix also grew up with Kurtis (the friend from Chapter Five!), so Kurtis clues Josh in on a lot. Other than that, Josh puts the rest together himself or snoops around for photo albums, documents, etc.

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“No. I want you to make me a love heart,” Felix grins. Of course he does.

This made me giggle out loud XD

hehehehehe, Felix is the most spoiled little lovesick baby 🤣 I can see Josh's eye roll in my mind, he's so sick of it bahaha

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"Open it." For my boy Josh (prompt for the five sentence fic!)

"Open it."

It isn't a request.

It's a dare. An ice-cold threat that freezes Josh to the spot. He stands paralyzed, his clammy palm welded to the doorknob. Josh's sorry life flashes before his bloodshot eyes, and his freedom taunts him from the other side of the unlocked door. It calls him, it pulls him like a magnet.

Josh wants to live, and not just survive. He wants his life back. His simple, mundane life. He'd give anything and everything to blend back into the world and fade into the background.

"Go on, Joshy. See what happens the second you open that door." Felix stalks closer but Josh doesn't face him. He can't face him. With his puffy, tear-stained cheeks and deer-in-headlight eyes. Josh's ears prick up at the sound of slow footsteps coming to a stop just over his shoulder.

"You know I'd catch you, don't you, honey?" Felix half purrs, half growls. Josh's thumping heart falls to the pit of his stomach. "God have mercy on you, I'd hunt you down like a wild animal. And when I finally find you...?"

Josh physically cringes and shrivels up as Felix nibbles at Josh's neck and kisses the dip of his collarbone. Felix slowly reaches around to place his hand on top of Josh's shaking one, on the door handle, and pulls it away.

"I'd snap your legs like twigs," Felix whispers in Josh's ear. "I would just love you bed-bound. It would be my dream come true, baby... the things I'd do to you..."

Josh hears Felix actually lick his lips and his gut suddenly twists. Josh thought his life was already a fate worse than death...somehow, it can get worse. He spins around to face Felix, eyes blown wide and sparkling - his lip wobbling like a small child.

It's a risk he's not willing to take. Any foolish bravery suddenly dissolves and his fight or flight suddenly switches off. Josh just feels empty.

He collapses into Felix's arms in a slump. His body rockets with sobs as Felix cradles him and smoothes the jet-black hair over his scalp.

"Sweet boy," Felix mumurs dotingly, "sweet, confused little boy. You know you belong with me, don't you?"

Josh nods miserably into Felix's chest.

"I'm the only one who knows you inside and out, who will take care of your every want and need. You'll never leave me, baby-blue."