#joong especially put in so much work

[nnnn99999]

'POCONG' a (mild in my opinion) horror short film written and directed by joong and acted by my beloved joongdunk. Here is the link to watch it. A kind fan put english subs on it here.

I have been waiting for this project ever since joongdunk started dropping hints for it. Partly because I missed them so terribly and partly because I wanted to see what joong would come up with this time. From the start, I knew this was a passion project by joong and dunk, as always, was there to support him wholeheartedly. So yeah I was pretty excited and even though I didn't want to, ended up having certain expectations for this project. But when I actually watched it, I was so surprised. Because it was so impressive even with all the expectations I had for it.

I love everything about it. The concept is good and very fresh, especially for joongdunk since they have never done anything horror before. Even the ghost 'pocong' is not very well known, so it was a very new to most people. 6 mins is a very short time to flesh out a coherent story, but it was done well anyway. It was done so well in fact that I had a great time watching it without understanding most of the dialogue. And yes, I could actually understand mostly what was going on despite this language barrier. The direction, the script, the coloring, everything is so pleasant to watch. Of course, I am very biased in my opinion considering my love for the people involved. But I truly believe anyone, whether they like joongdunk or not, can enjoy this short film for what it is. I love director joong so so much. I can see how much he has improved from his last twilight mv project.

Also, the acting is so so good. I feel like joongdunk have improved a lot as actors, both individually and as a pair. It was such a joy to watch. I enjoyed watching them act so much that I found myself replaying the video again and again and again. This made me so much more excited for thk (as if I was not excited enough already). Director joong is totally capable of showcasing their acting abilities. (He also has a way of making dunk look really pretty)

I need to mention that joongdunk filmed this on an off day while they were shooting thk, so they were really pressed for time. Joong came up with the concept by himself and wrote the script and storyboard. Joongdunk grabbed some of their friends and family, found a location, brought their own equipment, and filmed this thing. Just because they wanted to. And I respect that so so much. The fact that the end product turned out so well given the limited resources that went into it is so so impressive.

So yeah this post is me promoting the work of my beloved boys. I am so happy that it turned out so well. And I want to show my love for it, hoping maybe someone out there might appreciate it too.

[atinycafe]

so tiny [nsfw]

pairing: ot8!ateez x fem!reader warnings: use of pet names (tiny, sweetheart once), sex toy (joong), oral (joong, mingi), riding (hwa, woo), size kink (yun), daddy kink (san) degradation (woo, jjong), slight pain kink (woo), jjong's mean and woo's a brat, gn reader 4 everyone except 4 jjong author's note: just finished with my exams so this is a little present 4 everyone

"You're doin' so well for me tiny," murmurs Hongjoong, gently sliding the pale dildo into you, still unable to let you handle his own impressive size. "You're nearly there, almost ready to take the real shit." As he senses your climax, your legs trembling, your back arching on the bed, he withdraws it. Wordlessly, he moves closer, tenderly brushing your cheeks, wiping away your tears. "Open," he instructs softly, and you comply, eager to hear his praises. He guides the moist object into your mouth, urging you to taste yourself, pushing it deeper and deeper as he hums in his raspy voice. "Good. That's how you should use that tiny mouth of yours" he says, satisfaction evident in his tone, thumb gliding over the bulge in your throat.

Seonghwa's eyes are fixed on you, unyielding, as you try to settle his cock into the nooks of your heat. Your thighs tremble as you slowly perch on his lap. He doesn't utter a word or extend any aid, just gazes at you with those wide eyes that usually overflow with tenderness, now tinged with an air of superiority. "Come on, tiny, time's ticking," he murmurs, but you can only respond with incoherent murmurs about how you can't and how it's too big, the position proving too much to handle, especially after the endless orgasms he has bestowed upon you in the past half-hour. He clicks his tongue, a wave of disappointment washing over him. With an unexpectedly gentle gesture, he seizes your waist, compelling the inches of his dick to go deeper in you. Your eyes roll in response, and your body collapses against his exposed chest, allowing yourself to give into him completely, mixing the drool with the sweat of his chest.

"What's the matter, tiny?" you hear Yunho's mean smirk in his voice right behind you, and you can only let out a little whimper in response. His long fingers delving deep within you are soon replaced with a dick, his tip finding your g-spot in an instant. You let out a sudden cry, pleading for something, anything, not quite sure what you need, while he can only manage breathless chuckles. "Is it too much?" You murmur in a strained voice so many "yes's" that you've lost count. Your hand reaches to grasp his larger one spread over your stomach as he plants open-mouthed kisses on your neck, savoring the salty taste he caused. "Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about that, sweetheart." He places another hand on your throat, squeezing gently, momentarily quieting your whimpers. "I'll make it work."

Yeosang couldn't care less about your endless whining—especially not when you're making the most beautiful noises and looking even more pretty, tears streaming down your lash lines. He puts a hand on your mouth, muffling the pleas escaping your lips. "Hush, tiny, you'll wake the whole damn neighborhood." Pinned beneath him, you can only nod messily. He releases an incredulous scoff, "So eager to please, huh?" he chuckles, emphasizing each word with rough thrusts.

"Turn around, let me see how lovely you look," San says softly, his droopy eyes glistening as you reveal the delicate baby pink lingerie. You can't help but bite your lip, twirling around gently, basking in the warmth of his admiration. "Come here, tiny, let Daddy have a look," he murmurs, as you tiptoe over, finding yourself nestled between his thighs. San's large hands trace a path from behind your knees to your ass, squeezing the tender flesh. "Such a pretty little thing," he murmurs softly, his head dipping to your stomach as he peppers kisses over the delicate fabric. "I almost feel bad about how I'm gonna ruin you."

"Nngh, fuck tiny, I can't" he whines, clumsily grabbing the makeshift ponytail he fashioned out of your hair. "Keep going tiny I'm so close." His dick snug in your tight little throat, the bulbous tip brushing against the back, making your eyes well up with tears. He throbs in your warm mouth, saliva pooling at the base, dribbling down making a big mess. "You're so pretty fuck, don't look at me like that, I'll cum in your mouth." He cries as he makes eye contact with your pretty eyes, wet lashes fluttered with each bob of your head, cheeks already damp and stained by the rolling tears.

"What's wrong tiny, can't handle this dick?" He taunts with a cocky grin, peering up at you while you slow down atop of his dick. With a sharp slap on your thigh, he urges you to keep going. He bites back a moan as your nails dig into his chest, almost breaking the skin. You sense him twitch inside you as you display your frustration, and you can't help but scoff inwardly. "Come on tiny, ride it like the slut you are." he urges, his hands finding your waist, compelling you to bounce on his lap. Just as he prepares to speak again, you take action, slipping two manicured fingers into his mouth, hitting deep, done with his remarks. "Shut the fuck up Wooyoung."

“Don’t pretend like you don’t like it, you’re soaking wet” Jongho's deep voice resonates in your ears. He pinches one of your nipples, twirling the bud between his fingers, his gaze fixed on your face. His hand glides down, tracing a path to your clit. With practiced precision, he presses a finger onto it, observing your response with keen eyes, savoring the moment. "I can sense how close you are, tiny, and I didn't even do shit yet." a hint of a smile finally graces his features as he gathers the slick nestled between your folds. "It's fucking pathetic." You attempt to shield your face with your hands, but he swats them aside. He seizes your cheeks, squeezing them firmly. "Do that one more time and you don't get to cum tonight."

masterlist | requested | taglist in comments | feedback is appreciated :)

[tinybeetiny]

Priorities: K.H

Toxic!HongjoongXReader

I guess this can technically be toxic Hongjoong. As usually this is not I how I think he actually is. I literally love this man so freaking much 🥹 we’re both Scorpios ssoooo anyways enjoy the angst

If you would like to be a part of the taglist please fill out this form

Cw: Gaslighting,

Masterlist | Ateez Masterlist

They way he never put you first, ever. “Sorry love I can’t make tonight’s date. I have to finish a few songs but I’ll make it up to you next time” he says putting his phone on the desk turning his focus back on the screen of the laptop “you said that the past 8 times Joong” you sigh standing up from the table you’ve been sitting at for 45 minutes “I’m busy (Y/N) you know this. My job is really important and requires a lot of time” he said running hand through his hair “I’m important too you know. I can’t remember the last time I actually got to see you and not on the phone. I’m just getting tired” you say, your voice dropping at the end. It’s quiet for a couple minutes and you’re sure that he’s not even paying attention anymore “Hongjoong?” You hear him sigh “look (y/n) I’m sorry but I’m busy I can’t do this right now, we’ll talk later” he rushed out before hanging up leaving you to stare blankly at your phone.

A few days had passed since that night and you have yet to see Hongjoong let alone hear from him, not even a text. You debated on texted him knowing he’s busy and didn’t want to cause an argument. But he’s your boyfriend, you should be able to see and talk to him and not have to feel hesitant about it. You’re about to hit the call button when you hear a knock on the door. Through the peephole you see your very tired looking boyfriend standing on the other side on his phone. He looks up as he hears you opening the door. You give him a small smile as you step aside to let him in, he takes off his shoes and makes his way to your couch slumping down tiredly.

“So how are the songs coming along?” You ask as you sit next to him “it was tiring but I think I made good progress” he said turning his to look at you, his eyes looking empty. You missed the way he used to look at you. You missed when he treated you like someone he actually wanted to be around. You miss him. “That’s good! I’m sure the guys are going to be happy with it” you say trying to smile “they are, we started recording yesterday which surprisingly didn’t take long so we just hung around the dorm the rest of the day” he says sleepily while shutting his eyes. You felt a slight pang in your heart hearing that. He didn’t think to even send you little text any time after they got home “I figured you were busy the whole day since I didn’t hear from you” you watch him frown without opening his eyes “I just needed a break from screens and wanted to be alone for a little bit” he shrugs as if it were not big deal.

You really didn’t want to argue with him especially when he looked so tired but you didn’t know when you’d have another opportunity to be face to face with him like this. Taking a deep breath you just it all out “you know I haven’t seen you in almost a month. We haven’t had an actual engaging conversation in 2 weeks. I can’t even remember the last time we went on a date. It doesn’t even feel like a I have boyfriend. I understand you’re busy with work but I haven’t heard from you in THREE days Joong, I couldn’t even get a single text from you and to hear that you weren’t even busy the entire time feels like such a slap to the face. I don’t understand. If I did something to make you act like this towards me please let me know because I don’t know what to do anymore” you expressed crossing your arms and standing, waiting for his response

“I understand you’re upset but this is my work, what I do for a living, what I love, it’s a lot of hard work and time. I really don’t want to keep having these useless conversations over and over. Ateez is my priority and I have to focus on that above anything else” he says sitting up staring at you. You really don’t know what to say with what he just said, he basically said you’re not a priority to him and if that’s the case then what’s the point of this. Fight the tears that are building in your eyes you open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out.

You turn away from him so he doesn’t see the hot tears rolling down your cheeks “I don’t want to do this anymore” you sniffle, you hear him stand up and make his way to you “me neither. I don’t like these little confrontations” you feel him wrap his arms around you making your heart break even more. “No. I don’t want to do this relationship anymore” you cried as you pushed him away “It’s obvious I’m not important to you and it already feels like we aren’t together so why don’t we just end it here” he stares at your for a few seconds to see if you’re joking, waiting for the ‘just kidding babe, I love you so much’ but it doesn’t come. He stares at your tear stained face. He scoffs crossing his arms “you’re upset right now, why don’t we talk when you’ve had time to calm down and think” he says grabbing his things. He stops when he hears you laugh bitterly “that’s actually really funny because I have had more than enough to think about this and we should’ve broken up a while ago” he starts to panic once he realized you’re being 100000% serious “you can’t be serious. Look love I’m sorry okay, I know I’ve been busy and neglecting you but I’ll make it up to you I promise. Let’s go out now, I can take you wherever you want to go” he rushed back in front of you but you just shook your head tired of the circles “I can’t do this anymore Joong” you whispered “Please don’t this (y/n) please. I swear I will find more time for you” he begged feeling his own tears gathering “I’m sorry, I’ve made up my mind” you say turning away from him

“You’re really going to throw this all away? Just like that? I told you what you were getting into when we got together but you were so insistent on making it work” somehow he turned it on you making it your fault for not wanting to make this work or wanting to stay in a relationship you were no longer happy in. Anger bubbled inside of you because how dare he. How. Fucking. Dare. He. Taking a calming breath as you try not to explode you stare him dead in eyes and see nothing. No love. No adoration. No anger. No hurt

“I think it’s best if you leave Hongjoong” he does nothing but stare at you for a minute before making his way to the door, grabbing his shoes, not even bothering to put them on and walking out.

[bethelighthalazia]

ATEEZ and how they show their love <3

Summary:  ot 8 and how they show their love <3

Genre: fluff

Pairing: OT8 x reader (separate drabbles)

Word Count:  n/a

Warnings: none

[note: Okay, this was the fist time, that I did something like this and I have to admit, that it is only how I imagine the boys to be like. I do hope you enjoy reading them though! RE-UPLOAD from my old blog @/justsomedreaming, was requested there by @mitproblem]

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

SEONGHWA 

Seonghwa's love is quiet but visible to everyone.

He loves to pamper you, make sure you're fed and reminds you to take breaks and get enough rest and sleep. When you go out, he holds your hand, often wearing at least one matching item of clothing, no matter what it might be. He would also shower you with gifts, mostly little trinkets and not rarely matching things. 

When you smile or are happy, he always watches you with this dreamy, stupidly in love smile on his lips. When you're down, he doesn't need to be told, he notices and pulls you into comforting hugs.

He'll always tell you how much he loves you, but he prefers to Do so through his actions.

And he would cook for you, especially when he can sit and eat with you together.

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong's love is silent and invisible to everyone.

He loves when you join him in his studio, even if it is to nag him to take breaks. Whenever you bring him food, he'll eat it, asking you if you have eaten and slept. If you fall asleep in the studio, he'd make sure to cover you with a blanket and also make sure that you're comfortable while he keeps working. 

Joong can't but smile when he looks at you, often exchanging cute and hidden looks with you.

Even though he's not the type of person to show physical affection, he'd cuddle up with you, whispering love confession into your ear.

When you go out, he'd shy away from public displays of affection, but he'll always make sure to show you he's there, brushing his hand against yours or other small moments of skinship without others noticing.

YUNHO

Yunho's love is quiet but very visible to everyone.

Yunho loves to hold your hands or hug you. If you are cold, he'll offer you his scarf, jacket or gloves when outside, when at home, he'll always give you his hoodie or pull you against his chest. 

When he kisses you, he puts all his feelings for you into it, when it's in public, he'll get very flustered afterwards though. 

He will always make sure that you know how much he loves you, be it through his actions or words, he'll prove that his heart only belongs to you.

When in crowds, he'll always hold your hand or pull you against his side,so you won't get separated.

He WILL try to make you play videogames with him, but you often just end up watching him play.

YEOSANG

Yeosang's love is quiet and peaceful, visible to observant people.

You and Yeosang don't need many words. When you're reading, he'll take a book and sit with you silently, reading as well. When you are alone, he's talkative, always asks about yourself, your interests and how your day was. He'll always tell you that he loves you and he loves to give you affectionate nicknames whenever it's just you two. 

When others are around, he'll still be close to you, occasionally exchanging skinship, but not as obvious for other people.

He loves holding hands or cuddling, but this is also more for when you two are alone. He loves to give you flowers. He'll also pick up on things that you mention in conversations that seem not very important at the first glance, but he'll always remember those things.

SAN

San's love is loud and very visible to everyone.

When you are not cuddling, he will make sure to pull you into his arms, no matter where you are. San is very vocal about how much he loves you, telling you at any time that you're his most loved treasure. He'll always ramble to his friends and family about you and the amount of love he has for you.

He takes any occasion to shower you with gifts, be it small trinkets, jewelry or huge presents. 

He'll also secretly buy an engagement ring very early in your relationship, because he WILL marry you one day.

When you're outside, he'll hold your hand, always sit close to you and never leave your side.

San can't hide when he's jealous, so he often pouts when he sees you talking or being friendly with other men.

MINGI

Mingi's love is loud and visible for everyone.

Mingi, where to start.

He is shy when it comes to voice out his love for you, it's not easy for him to say “I love you”, instead he will use other words or phrases. He'll give you affectionate nicknames and won't hesitate to use them in public. 

He LOVES to kiss your neck, whether it's in public or at home. Hugs and physical touch are a must, he loves to have you close to him, it grounds him. Mingi will always reach for your hand to hold it, making sure to not hurt you with his rings. 

Mingi also will care for you silently, putting food on your plate while eating, making sure you'll eat well and he'll make sure you take breaks from working and that you have a healthy sleep schedule.

He will physically drag you from your work (when you're overworking yourself in the home office) and make you lay down to cuddle and sleep in his arms!

He's easily jealous and he knows it, he'll always make sure people know you are his.

WOOYOUNG

Wooyoung’s love is very loud and very visible for everyone.

This guy is a dramatic, whiney and absolutely touchy person. He loves you with all his heart (and his body, believe me!).

There is no time that he will not cling to you. You're out with the boys? He'll hold your hand or just have his arms around you. You're visiting his parents? His hand on the small of your back or around your waist. You're at home with him and the boys? You're in his embrace all time, he'll make the others get up and get snacks or drinks for you, so he won't have to let go of you.

Woo is the first to say “I love you.”, probably shouting it at you in front of everyone. He'll tell you how much he loves you at any moment in the day. 

Woo will shower you with kisses,touch and presents. When he's on tour, he'll facetime you (if it was for him, he'd do so 24/7 because he misses you so much).

He'd panic and freak out if you don't say ”I love you” back or pull away from his touch, scared to possibly lose you. When you're down, he will do anything in his might to cheer you up somehow.

He's very jealous, getting whiney and clingy when he sees you talk or be friendly with other guys.

JONGHO

Jongho's love is loud but only visible to observant people.

Jongho, sweet, innocent Jongho.

He is not one to display his affection very openly, especially not in public. There will be physical touch, but small ones only. Fingers brushing against yours, his hand hovering on the small of your back, his leg touching yours when sitting next to each other. 

When the two of you are alone? He'll be very cuddly. He loves to rest his head on your chest to listen to your heartbeat. But cuddly Jongho is for you only, not for others to see or know (not even for his hyungs).

What he will do is tell everyone that you're his. He'll proudly tell you “I love you” as often as possible, no matter who is around. 

Jongho will also shower you with presents and flowers. He'll also make sure to care for you, make sure you eat well, sleep and take enough breaks to rest.

taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

[ja3hwa]

♡ 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝟏𝟖: 𝐓𝐨𝐲𝐬/𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐱 - 𝐊.𝐇𝐉 ♡

【sʏɴᴏᴘsɪs】 : Hongjoong couldn't decide what gift to buy you while he was travelling. So he bought them all and now wants you to try them out. Every. Single. One.

『ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ』 : 1.11k

-> ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: Pure Smut

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Idol!Hongjoong x F.Reader

[ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs] : Edging. Fingering. Dirty talk. Use of a dildo. Making out. Pet names. Swearing. Neck kisses.

Thank you, my darling, @nateezfics, for requesting Hongjoong for this day. I hope you enjoy, baby. ♡♡♡

Masterlist | Navigation | Kinktober List

You don’t know how you ended up in such a predicament. But here you were, sitting on several blankets on the floor with your back against the end of your bed frame with pillows supporting you. Hongjoong had gone on a shopping spree while he was in Paris, and at first, you thought he simply bought you a nice outfit or even some French snacks. But no, this was Hongjoong you were thinking about. The man who secretly has a dark spot. A dirty side and of course he had bought you an array of toys. Especially.. but plugs.

“I didn’t know which one would suit you, so I bought them all.” that was his excuse for the ten or so plugs lying hiding in a giant bag… among other things. He told you that about an hour ago now. Having set up a little spot for you to lay while he worked on you. He first took some attentiveness in stretching you. Lube was all over the blankets by the time he was done and you were shaking like a leaf at this point. His fingers switching between your pussy to your ass was making your head spin in the best way and the more he worked on you the more nervous you got with the idea of the new toys. He wouldn’t tell you what else was in the bag other than ‘it’s a surprise’ making your nerves even more on edge.

He sat behind you, letting you lay on your lower back, holding yourself with your elbows. He sat you in front of your large full-length mirror, letting you see exactly what the gems looked like when they were pushed into your puckered hole. First, it was a red gem, ruby, it was cute, simple and he always said red was your colour. But he kept going, pulling the toy out he pushed another one in. One after the other and at this point you didn’t care what the gem colour was, all that mattered was the feeling of it going in and out over and over again. He was edging you without even realizing and it made you all hot and bothered.

“J-Joong.” at this point he needed him to fuck you before you explode but he just chuckled putting the new on, a purple gem deep inside your ass. He twisted it slowly, pretending to make remarks such as ‘Such a pretty colour’, ‘You should wear purple more often’, ‘It’s got a bright shine than the other gems’ as if he was talking about clothing or some accessory, rather then a butt plug. He pulled it out still satisfied with it. No, there was a perfect one in here, he just needed to find it. Your hazy eyes looked around the room while he dug in the bag, you saw all the plugs lying randomly on the floor, lube dripping off all of them, some most likely smeared with your own juices, given you were practically leaking for Hongjoong to touch you.

“Ahh!” You suddenly look back at yourself in the mirror, seeing he placed a much thicker plug inside this time, but instead of a gem, it was a tail…. a bright red fox tail with a snow-white tip. It sat so beautifully on the floor making you shiver. His fingers rubbed against the fur, patting it while he groaned. This was the perfect piece. A tail that made you look like what he thought of you as…. Just a sweet little fox in a big bad wolfs trap.

“My pretty little fox…” He whispered in your ear making you whimper at his words. He picked up another object from the bag letting you see he got a tentacle dildo. A deep purple one. The one you saw online the other night. You thought you were alone while browsing for sex toys but Hongjoong must have noticed the cheeky shit. He held the toy in front of you giving you a good view of it. You bucked your hips, wiggling in anticipation while he spilled some lube on the object. “You want to be fucked by a tentacle baby? Dirty girl.”

“P-please Joongie.” You cried, feeling him rub the dildo up and down lightly pushing the tip of the tentacle against your clit and it started vibrating. “ffffuuucckk!!” You screamed out, trying to back away from the vibration but Hongjoong’s body caged you, his thighs either side of you. He played with the tail with his free hand, stroking the fur while lightly tugging on it. Everything was so sensitive and you felt like you were going to explode. He slipt the dildo inside your puffy cunt, fucking you harshly with it. Your eyes were glued to the mirror, watching the toy go in and out. In and out…

“Fuck, look at you. You’re enjoying this my little fox. Being fucked stupid on some toys.” His voice rang in your ears. Your head was spinning and your body was jerking in rhythm of his thrusts. You could feel you were close to your high but it felt different. Felt… faster, more intense.

“Hongjoong I-” Before you could say another word your body shook like crazy. Legs locking, hands gripping tight on Hongjoong’s thighs. You squirted all over the blankets, some of it managed to splatter across the mirror, making your lover chuckle in amusement. Once you slowly came down from your high, Joong switched off the toy before discarding it somewhere on the floor. His hand snaked along your wet body, squeezing your tit before gripping your chin, pulling your face upwards so his lips could capture yours.

“Hmm my baby.” he kissed you again “My pretty baby.” he kissed the corner of your mouth, "You enjoying yourself darling?” he licked your neck, sucking your skin. You just humped in response, feeling tired from the orgasm you had just felt. But Hongjoong didn’t give you time to relax in your bliss as he softly pushed you forward, making you fall onto your tummy, keeping your legs bent and ass in the air. Your face was smooshed against the mirror making you keep eye contact with yourself. But Hongjoong had the perfect view. Your ass wiggling in his face with a perfect tail swaying with it.

“You ready for around two…” He tugged harshly on your tail making your eyebrows knit tight together. “I have so many other toys to try on you.”

[captain-joongz]

You know how Hongjoong has those fucking gorgeous thick thighs? Yeah I wanna leave marks on them so bad. Fuck hickeys on the neck, I want to give him hickeys on his thighs grrrrr

(If you write anything sub hongjoong please, idc what type but I dont read dom member ever cus it gives me the ick)

oooh anon you don't even know how much i understand you. do you remember when Hongjoong wore that striped crop top and light blue jeans? those pictures had me going crazy for his thighs and ass for days. our captain is just so well built~

and i'm definitely not opposed to writing sub!idols, it's a nice change for me and i am a switch (tho i mostly lean towards sub, but sometimes i get dominant streaks - especially with joong, hwa and yoongi, those guys drive me insane)

warnings: subby joong, marking, edging, begging, riding, unprotected sex

i go absolutely crazy for marks, so i fully understand your plight, and joongie just has such beautiful thighs and stomach, made for you to mark up as you please. i know i wouldn't be able to help myself

and whether we're talking about idol!joong or any other au, we know that our captain is just a helpless workaholic that will spend entire days working, dragging himself home just to sleep a few hours and then go right back to his job, and that puts a lot of strain on his psyche, so every now and then he needs a good caring for, a reminder that he can let go and someone will give him everything that he needs

that's where you come in, always ready to indulge your boyfriend and help him destress - and one of your favourite ways to do this is to have him all marked up writhing in pleasure under you, begging you for more and crying with how good he feels

his thighs are so strong and beautiful, and the honey-toned skin bruises so prettily, darkens to deep purple, and he responds even better when you take your teeth to his skin, leaving bite marks nicely encircling the dark dark bruises. but what's even better is how he tenses and jerks and jumps with every sharp prick of pain at a new mark made, whines and whimpers slipping out of his lips effortlessly

you always love to see how his eyes grow more and more hazy as he surrenders himself completely to the pleasure, giving up the reins and letting himself be carried by the flow. when he's really tired he always turns so sweet and pliant, all needy and teary-eyed, whimpering anytime your travelling hands brush over his perked up sensitive nipples or when your mean fingers dig into the bruised skin to draw out the burn

and even with his pretty cock all hard and red, wet and smattered in precum, you ignore it in favour of sucking and biting more spots into his abs - you're never satisfied until he's all covered in your spit and love, until there are tear tracks on his cheeks and drool slipping out the corner of his mouth without you even touching him where he wants it the most, cause that's when he's begging for you the sweetest

he'd want to cum so bad, and he wouldn't be shy to ask for it, countless whiney "please, please, please!" spilling out of his mouth, hands gripping into the bedding because he wouldn't dare displease you by touching where he's not supposed to

and when he was desperate, teary and marked up enough, you'd finally relent. the moment you finally sunk down on his cock would have him choking on his spit and moans, body tensing as he fought not to cum - he knew you wouldn't be happy about it, he still needed to earn your permission

whether you'd ride him quick and rough or slow and sensual would probably be up to your mood, but if he was really tired and just needing a release, you'd find it in yourself to take it easy on him, languidly rolling your hips on him and clenching your cunt around him to drive him closer to that peak

and he'd look so fucking beautiful under you like that, pretty tears tracking down his face, eyes hazy and mouth slack in pleasure, head thrown back, tits all bitten up. he'd be a vision, your vision, and you'd want nothing more than finally give him what he so desperately needed

after all, he'd been such a good boy for you, begged so prettily for you and worked so hard so he could spoil you, he deserved everything - and you'd tell him as much, smothering him in praises that would make him cry and whimper even more - he wanted nothing more than to be your good boy

"please, please, let me cum, i've been so good" he'd cry endlessly, and finally when you were also close you'd let him, allowing him to spill himself into you while you rode both your orgasms out. he'd cum with the most melodious relieved moans and then ragdoll into the sheets, completely sated and spent

and after wiping him clean, watching him slip in and out of content sleep and whispering more praises about how he pleased you so well, you'd finally settle in, pulling Hongjoong into your chest and petting his hair as he slipped off into the most comfortable sleep he had in a while

he could always count on you to give him just what he needed

our second ask, phew this one was so fun to write! everybody needs a little subby joong in their life, god just how much i want to spoil him and pamper him <3

hard hours continue!! don't be shy and come submit your own fantasies!

divider from @cafekitsune

[hwalilac]

Waiting

⇴ pairing: kim hongjoong x f!reader

⇴ genre: smut

⇴ words: 1.2k

⇴ warnings: thigh grinding, unprotected, bratty reader

⇴ a/n: feedback is accepted and welcome, I’d love to hear your thoughts on my work! if you’d like to be on my taglist, lmk. if you’d like to see more of my work, check out my masterlist!

⇴ tags: @hyuckilstan @star1117-archives @whatudowhennooneseesyou @jwnghyuns @az-con @noonaishere

Hongjoong was so sick of your fooling around. He had to work. He was so busy preparing for the comeback. And you knew that. But honestly? It’s been about a month since you two had sex. You were quite desperate. Too many nights you’d spend with your old, trusty vibrating wand. But it couldn’t satisfy you forever. You had to do something about the constant need to fuck him.

So here you were yet again, sitting on the couch in his studio, watching him play around with the same track he’s been retouching for a week straight. You’ve already pushed once, and he brushed you off before continuing his work. It immediately put a frown on your face, but it made you want him even more. He’s so fucking rough with you when he’s 1. stressed, and 2. irritated. Nothing like a good fuck to lighten the mood.

After a good ten minutes passes, it’s finally time to push forward with your plan. You get off the couch and slowly slink towards him, like a predator with its prey. Honestly, he might as well be your prey. You softly wrap one arm around his neck, the other pulling one of his earbuds out of his ear. Immediately his attention is one you, though you can feel the irritation seeping from his entire being.

“Joongie,” you whine. It always works. Except, this time whining doesn’t get you anywhere. “Baby, please, just give me a few more minutes”, he says for the millionth time today. Which you happen to tell him that, only for him to repeat it, in a much more promising voice. You already know it’s BS. “Joong,” you say, walking to the side of him, “Can I at least just sit on your lap?”

You give your biggest puppy eyes, and you thank the gods it works. After a long sigh, he pushes his chair back and taps his thigh, signaling to sit. A quick giggle escapes you as you practically tackle him. He lets out a quiet “oof”, before making sure you’re situated. Your legs on either side of his thigh, you quickly realize that your core is sitting in the perfect position to get off on him. Looks like your plan would work out just fine.

You let him get back into work for a little while, trying not to make him suspicious of your motives. But after a while, you have to shuffle to get comfortable, and his jeans practically scrape against your clit. Thankfully, you chose a skirt for easy access. But once you’ve got a taste, you became insatiable. After checking to see if he’s paying attention, which of course he’s not, you start moving your hips.

The movement feels so good, especially wrapped up in his arms. It’s light, but good enough for the moment. You sigh, and push your head into his neck, taking the chance to enjoy yourself. But once you start doing it more and more, you look up and realize that he’s watching you. He apparently took his earbuds out already. His attention was solely on you. But you weren’t sure how this would pan out.

“You actually thought I didn’t know what you were doing? Acting like a fucking brat, practically throwing yourself at me just for a good fuck. You’re such a slut.” His words, his tone, his dark eyes, everything makes you want him even more. You’re about to “explain” yourself, but he interrupts you, pushing you off him. For a second you think he’s actually mad, that you took it too far during a time when he was already stressed.

Just for a split second. Because after that second passes, he stands up, and turns you around to his desk. Thankfully there’s a clean spot on the desk, though you know he wouldn’t slam you down on his equipment regardless. For the sake of you, but also his bank account. But he does slam you down on the desk, pulling your hair into his hand before yanking your head back. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him next to your ear.

“You just couldn’t behave yourself, could you? You know what happens to brats, don’t you?” You did. You did know what happens to brats. And you want exactly that. But he already knows it. He lifts up your skirt, before his hand comes down to smack your ass. You jump slightly, surprised at the sensation. But then you wiggle your butt for more. “Of course you want more.” And of course he doesn’t give it to you.

Usually he stretches you out a little, but just by the large wet patch on your panties, he can tell you’re wet enough. The slight stretch always makes it better anyways. You hear the unbuckle of his belt, the clothes hit the floor. His cock lines up with your hole, him not even taking your underwear off. Then he just slams in. Your mouth gapes open at the sudden intrusion. You never get tired of the feeling.

His pace is brutal, hips smacking yours, making yours press into the wooden desk. You don’t mind though, too preoccupied with the fact that he’s touching your g-spot with every thrust. Somehow he just knows your body, like it came natural to him. “You just couldn’t wait, could you? Too much of a cock slut, the only thing on your mind is how much you wanna be fucked. So pathetic,” he chuckled, the same one he does in his songs.

Moans just spilling out of your mouth only spurred him to keep talking. There’s nothing that gets you more turned on that his voice and his dirtiest words. He always knew what to say to get you there. And you were already close. “Look at you, clenching on my dick. Even your cunt can’t get enough of me.” With every word you clench even harder. “Bet you could get off with just my voice.” And he’s correct.

His hand travels from your back, to your hip, down to your stomach, and further to your clit. Goosebumps follow his every movement. And then he does what he always does. He pushes you to the very edge. His middle finger lands on your bud, rubbing side to side, immediately sending you hurtling towards your orgasm. A long string of “Hongjoong” and “fuck” begin, before you finally collapse. Your legs shake and eyes flutter with pleasure.

Within seconds, he releases inside you, flooding your walls, milking every drop out of him. He shortly collapses on top of you, before flopping down in his chair. He drags you back into his lap, letting you curl up onto his chest. This is the best part of having intimacy with Hongjoong. He takes aftercare incredibly seriously. You just lie there for a while, letting the harsh breathing subside.

When everything goes silent, you finally come back to reality. His desk is a little messy, and you’re about to apologize when you spot a red light on his microphone. Then you realize… he was recording your moans. Your eyes move up to his face, to see his joker-like grin.

“Remember when you said it would be funny to include your moans in one of my songs?”

I do not give permission for anyone to repost my work

[makeitmingi]

Cause Baby You're My Muse [Chapter 43]

Genre: Romance, Idol!AU, Music, Slight angst

Pairing: Mingi x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Producer!Reader, IdolLyricist!Mingi, IdolProducer!Hongjoong, Idol!Seonghwa, Idol!Yunho, Idol!Wooyoung, Idol!San, Idol!Yeosang, Idol!Jongho, cameo(s) by other celebrities

Summary: You always preferred producing underground, having an unknown face and governed by your own rules. But when you start freelancing for idol groups, you say goodbye to your lone wolf lifestyle as you learn to work with idol producers and lyricists.

Word count: 3.2K

With a tray of iced coffees and multiple boxes of sports drinks in the boot, you stepped out of the van. Eden stood beside you, helping you carry the other tray of iced coffees.

"They're filming, I think." Eden whispered, judging by the absence of voices and the loud music that was playing throughout the entire film site. You nodded, the stomping of feet against the ground, indicated that the boys were probably dancing.

"I'll leave these in their dressing room then." You put the tray at their seating area in the air conditioned room.

"Careful, don't trip over the wires." He cautioned as he followed you. Once the trays of coffees were down, you went back to the van to get the sports drinks out.

"This should be enough right?" You scratched your head.

"It's more than enough, Indigo ah." Eden ruffled your hair with a chuckle. You bent down to open the boxes.

"Back in Korea, getting the small bottles of vitamins drinks was so much easier. They only seem to have the big bottles here." You sighed as you took out some bottles to put on the table.

"Nevertheless, I'm sure the crew will be appreciative of your efforts. It's the thought that counts." He laughed, sitting on the couch. After that, you went out to watch the shooting progress. You made sure to stay out of sight, creeping around, so you wouldn't distract any of the boys, especially Mingi.

"And.... cut! Good job, everyone! Take a 10 minute waterbreak and we'll go for a round of monitoring!" You heard the director yell.

"Thank you!" The Ateez boys straightened up and bowed. You clapped with the other staff that were around you. Instead of going to greet the boys, you gave out the sports drink.

"Thank you for having me." You repeatedly thanked people and bowed to them.

"Thank you." All the crew were so nice.

"Aww, no need to thank us. We were glad you could make it, Indigo! It's nice having you around." The stylist team squealed excitedly and pulled you into a group hug.

"You're all so warm and welcoming." You chuckled. You left them to have their break while you went back to the artist resting room.

"There's our familiar hooded figure." Seonghwa joked, wrapping an arm around you.

"Hi, Hwa. You look really good." You chuckled, patting his back. Seonghwa always looked good, especially in his stage outfits. He pulled off every look and concept that the stylists put him in. You went to greet the others.

"Oh yeah, I bought everyone their coffees. Hang on, they're labelled." You announced. The 8 swarmed you like bees around the queen, all waiting for their coffee orders.

"Here you go." You handed them out.

"Iced green tea latte." You gave Mingi his order. He seemed surprised that he was the only one that didn't get a coffee-based drink.

"You mentioned in passing how coffee can make you a little shaky so I got you a tea drink instead. If you want coffee, you can drink mine." You offered.

"No, it's all good. Thanks for remembering." He patted your head. Mingi was more surprised than anything that you even remembered something he casually mentioned in passing.

"Joong, don't stress. You'll get a wrinkly forehead with your frowning." You joked, sitting by the captain.

"I have to make sure things go smoothly." He sighed.

"Don't worry so much. Everything will be fine, the shooting will go smoothly. The more you stress, the more you'll feel that things are going wrong." You massaged his shoulders. Hongjoong let out another long sigh, picking up his drink cup and taking a sip. The others watched in amazement at how you soothed the captain.

"Thanks, Indi. The rest, when you're ready, let's go monitor. Don't keep the directors waiting." Hongjoong patted your hand with a small smile and left the room.

"Wow." Yeosang said, clapping his hands with a knowing smile.

"What?" You blinked in confusion, only then realising that all the attention on the room was on you and Hongjoong.

"No one has ever been able to soothe Hongjoong hyung before he becomes Pokjoong. Well, the only person who can do it is Seonghwa hyung but even he fails some times." Wooyoung said.

"Because you guys stress him." You rolled your eyes. That was when the shouts of protests started.

"Just don't add to his stress." You crossed your arms.

"We don't!" They protested. You waved them off to go monitor what they had filmed. Eden encouraged you to tag along with the group to see what they were doing. So while the boys sat together and monitored their video, you stood behind them to watch.

The boys all looked serious as they monitored the footage. You didn't expect Yunho to be the one to point out everyone's dance mistakes when he noticed them.

"Timing is off here then it made the chorus look out of sync." He pointed to the screen.

"The line is not straight here." Mingi echoed, using his hand to show how the standing alignment had caused the formation to be wonky.

"Let's run it verbally one time before filming it again." Seonghwa suggested. The boys stood up and went to standing in their formation for that part of the song.

"Are you one of the stylist?" An unfamiliar male came up to you.

"Uh, no. A producer." You replied, eyes not moving from the boys that were dancing in front of you.

"Oh! You're the one that bought the drinks? I didn't recognise you with the hoodie and mask. Thanks, by the way." He smiled, waving the glass bottle that was in his hand. You let out a short hum. Even if you weren't looking at him, you noticed that he didn't move, remaining in his spot beside you.

"I'm Sejoon, by the way. Part of the film team." He suddenly spoke again. From the corner of your eye, you saw that he had raised his hand to shake yours.

"...Indigo." You awkwardly shook his hand. The mask hid most of your emotions but you purposely tried to seem awkward, hoping that he would leave you alone. But he didn't seem to get the hint.

"The crew is going out for dinner after this, you should join us! The stylists and other teams are going too." He said.

"That's nice. I'll consider it. But thanks for the invite." You stiffly bowed your head.

"Ah, there's no need to be so formal!" He slapped your shoulder.

From where the Ateez boys were standing, they were all looking at the obviously one sided exchange between you and this strange boy. If looks could kill, Mingi would have that boy six feet under by now. But they all felt a little protective of you.

"Who is that? Acting so close with her... Can't he tell she's uncomfortable?" Wooyoung crossed his arm with a scoff. Mingi silently agreed, cheering Wooyoung on.

"Indigo! Can you give me my coffee?" San yelled out. Mingi observed how you relaxed in relief.

"Me too!" Jongho said.

"Sure!" You ran to the artists' breakroom to get San and Jongho's coffee. You jogged over to bring them their orders. San grinned and patted your head.

"You okay?" Yunho asked, barely audible but good enough for you to hear. You nodded your head, rubbing your shoulder.

"Just trying to be friends, I guess." You shrugged.

"You have us. That's enough friends. I don't like how he was being overly friendly." Hongjoong rolled his eyes, making you laugh. It warmed your heart knowing that the boys were protective over you. But you could handle it, it was just one boy that was trying to get too close to you.

"I'm fine. Focus on the music video filming." You assured them. Once the director called them back for another run, you wished them good luck and headed back to the side.

"Indigo." Eden called. You went over to where he was seated in front of the computer, sitting beside him.

"Help me listen to this track and see if there are any issues." He instructed.

"Yes, boss." You playfully saluted while Eden rolled his eyes. Pulling down your hoodie, you kept your mask on but wore the headphones that Eden handed to you.

"Wait, which version is this?" You opened your laptop that you thankfully brought along.

"Version 4.3. The other Edenary members just updated it an hour ago." Eden replied. Just like that, you and him began to work, creating your own little producers' bubble, not being distracted by the filming that was happening in front of you.

Although he did want you to see the filming process and see how cool he was being, Mingi was glad that Eden distracted you away from the male earlier.

Sure, call him jealous, but Mingi just didn't like the vibes from the exchange he observed between the two of you.

"And cut! Great job for today everyone!" The director called. You stood with Eden, clapping for everyone's hard work. The Ateez boys clapped as well, bowing gratefully to everyone there.

"Congrats! Day 1 of filming is done." You said to the 8 of them.

"We hoped that you had fun here too, Indigo." Yeosang smiled kindly. You nodded.

"Of course, I did. I learnt a lot about filming too. All of you were amazing, great performers." You gave them all a thumbs up. While the boys were changing out of their filming outfits and into regular clothes, you waited outside for them. You would just take the van back to the hotel with them.

"Hey, Indigo." Seyoon jogged up to you with a wave and a big smile. You blinked at him, giving one wave of a hand.

"So, will you be joining the rest of us?" He asked.

"Oh... right. I can't. I have to work." You tapped the laptop that was tucked under your arm. It was a lie, you didn't have to work. You just didn't want to go.

"Come on! It's just one night. I'm sure it's not that urgent, you can always work tomorrow." He chuckled.

"I have a deadline." You replied, not budging or wavering in the slightest bit. Seyoon seemed to falter, assuming that he was successful in getting you to go along for the dinner.

"But everyone else would be there. And the stylist team is expecting you. It's just a meal."

"They are? None of them mentioned it in my conversation with them earlier. Plus, not everyone will be there. Ateez isn't invited." You pointed out.

"No one ever asks the idols out. They're on an entirely different level than us." Seyoon reasoned. You just stared at him, still not moving or giving in. In fact, you were starting to get annoyed with his pushing. Until you felt arms wrap around your shoulders.

"Indigo. Ready to go? We were looking for you at the van." Mingi asked, standing on your left.

"Yeah, we're starving. Let's get dinner." Jongho replied from your right. The two of them stared stoically at Seyoon, raising a questioning eyebrow at the male who suddenly looked so small.

"Sorry to keep you guys waiting. We should get some food in you." You chuckled.

"Seonghwa hyung is going to complain that we're keeping him from his precious meal." Jongho clicked his tongue.

"Let's go already." Mingi said impatiently, turning around and leading you away. Seyoon stood there dumbfounded, not even exchanging a goodbye as the idols took you.

"Phew, life saver." You let out a sigh of relief as you climbed into the van.

"That guy bothering you? Who is he anyway?" Seonghwa asked worriedly, holding your hands.

"I'm fine, Hwa. Don't worry, he wouldn't try anything with so many people around. His name is Seyoon, says that he is part of the film crew. There was so many of them at the airport that I didn't even see him. He was trying to ask me to join the working crew and stylists for dinner tonight." You explained.

"You told him no, right?" Wooyoung raised an eyebrow.

"Of course I did. But he didn't want to take no for an answer. Luckily Mingi and Jongho came to save me." You rubbed your forehead.

"He has bad vibes." Yunho shook his head.

"Agree." Seonghwa nodded, the frown not leaving his face. You laughed, gently poking the space between his eyebrows to stop him from frowning.

"It's a small matter." You giggled. But the boys still weren't convinced. They hated that your first film site experience was like this.

After an entire day of filming, you all decided to order room service. You entered your room with Mingi in tow, of course. But the moment the room door closed, Mingi backed you against the door. His expression was unreadable, it was a mix of a lot of emotions.

"Mings?" You looked up at him in confusion.

"Are you okay?" He asked, worry all over his face as his hand came to affectionately stroke your cheek.

"Mmm, I'm fine." You leaned into his touch. Mingi still stared down at you, not moving from his position. He came down and pressed his forehead against yours.

"I hated how close he was getting to you and how he was treating you. You don't deserve that." He frowned.

"It's okay, Mingi. Nothing happened." You assured.

"I know but damn it. You're mine." He leaned forward, resting his forehead on your shoulder. Mingi's hand trailed to your hip, squeezing it lightly.

"If the maknae wasn't there, I would have punched him. Idol or not. You don't treat people like that. Especially when that person is my girl." Mingi growled. You patted his back before reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck. Mingi leaned down for you to hug him properly, both his hands resting on your waist.

"Mings, not once did I think I was in danger. Because I know you're there and the others are too." You said.

"Damn straight." He pressed you flush against him. He tapped your thigh and you raised your leg for him to lift you up. With you in his arms, Mingi sat on the bed, securing you in his lap.

"You're mine, got that?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I know." You giggled, bumping your forehead against his. The only other person you know Mingi is possessive of is Yunho.

"Tomorrow, you stay 30 feet away from that guy. The others don't get good vibes from him too and that says a lot when it's 8 people." Mingi commanded.

"Gladly. He talks too much." You rolled your eyes, making Mingi smile. He carded his hand through your hair.

"Gosh, I love you." His hand stopped at the base of your neck.

"I love you too." You playfully shoved him until he fell back onto the mattress with you over him. You snuggled into his chest, closing your eyes. It was hard to see your lover as an idol when you shared moment like these.

"Are you falling asleep on me?" Mingi suddenly asked, you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Do you not want me to?" You lifted your head to look at him.

"I do, trust me. But I'd like to feed you and take a shower first. I've been sweating and filming the whole day, I don't want to get you dirty." He chuckled.

"Okay, I'll order the room service, you go shower first." You got off him. Mingi nodded, holding your chin and guiding your face to his.

"Kiss first." He murmured before pressing his lips to yours. After that, Mingi went to shower.

"Wait, Mings! You didn't tell me what you wanted to eat yet!" You said, knocking on the bathroom door with the room service menu in your hands.

"Meat!" He yelled out. You sighed, that wasn't very helpful. You ordered a few dishes, guessing that he must be quite hungry after all the hard work of filming from today. For the mains, you ordered him a steak frites, which you know he likes, and a mini pizza for yourself, knowing Mingi would steal some.

"Oh, and two colas, please." You ordered on the phone. Just as you hung up, Mingi came out of the bathroom.

"Mings, dry your hair properly!" You scolded. But he came closer to you, shaking his head like a dog after a shower. You squealed, shielding your face.

"You're gonna shower anyway, baby." He wrapped his arms around you playfully.

"Put on a shirt before you get a cold." You slapped his chest and went to grab your clothes from your suitcase.

"Answer the room service when it comes." You reminded him. Mingi, already settled in bed and on his phone, shot you a thumbs up. You entered the bathroom and took a much needed shower.

DING DONG

You hoped Mingi heard the doorbell too. Thankfully, you heard his footsteps head for the door. But the chaotic noises and Mingi's outraged yelling told you that it wasn't just the room service that came. With a chuckle, you dried yourself and changed.

"Umm, Mings...? Can you come?" You poked your head out of the bathroom door. You saw a few legs dangling from the edge of the bed, confirming your suspicions.

"Yeah, baby?" Mingi came to you.

"I need pants..." You mumbled shyly. For a second, Mingi frowned in confusion but realisation dawned on him.

"Oh, right. Be right back." He went to your suitcase to grab you a pair of sweat pants. Mingi forgot that you were usually pantless around him. But you couldn't be now with others in the room.

"Who is here?" You asked as you slipped on the pants.

"Wooyoung and Yunho." Mingi replied. You hummed and dried your hair with a small towel before stepping out.

"Finally, you're done!" Wooyoung hugged you. He smelled of fresh soap, evident of his recent shower. Looking at the food, there probably wasn't enough now.

"Order more food." Yunho told Mingi, who sighed. He was definitely not pleased at the sudden appearance of the two guests. He wanted to enjoy a meal with just you since he hasn't been able to even sit with you for meal times. There was always someone else around and you separated yourself from Mingi.

"Here, Yuyu." You handed him one of the coke cans that came. He smiled gratefully and patted your head.

While Mingi ordered the food, you chatted with Yunho and Wooyoung on how they felt the music video shoot went today. Along with Mingi, they were in charge of dance and performance.

"It went smoothly actually. We ended on schedule, we usually end late on the first day." Wooyoung shrugged.

"Maybe because Indigo is there. Our lucky star." Yunho cooed, pinching your cheek.

"Ahem." From his end of the room, Mingi cleared his throat, evident that he saw Yunho's actions. You giggled and watched Mingi quickly hang up, coming to sit beside you.

"Mmmm. These are good." Wooyoung stole a fry from Mingi's steak frites plate, offering one to Yunho and you.

"Just start eating since there's more coming. Share what we have now." You handed out the plates to everyone. They picked from the sharing plates you ordered, eating hungrily, while Mingi ate the steak that you ordered for him.

~

Series Masterlist

[thru-the-grapevine]

It Takes Two

Hongjoong x Fem!Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff

Warnings: unprotected sex, pregnancy, dirty talk, slight bondage

Word Count: 2006

A/N: I'm normal and don't have a breeding kink I swear

You had talked about having a baby a few times. Especially once you made the decision to come off your birth control for health reasons. Of course, Hongjoong had no issues wearing a condom. To him sex was a way to show you how much he loved you by making you feel incredible. And you happily returned the favor.

But right now, with your hands tied to the headboard of your bed, your pussy glistening in front of him, Hongjoong felt his resolve weakening. He would never betray your trust in actuality, but the urge to fuck you raw until you cried was always in the back of his mind.

A needy whimper from you brought him back to earth. He smirked at you, knowing how much you wanted him. So he knelt between your legs, brushing his fingers over your clit. You whined at the lack of proper friction, pulling on your restraints.

“Shhh pretty girl, you’re going to bruise your wrists,” Hongjoong said with a slightly mocking tone. Then he dove between your legs and began eating you out like a man starved. You moaned with pleasure and relief as his tongue lapped eagerly over your cunt, a finger slipping inside you with ease.

Hongjoong began pumping the finger, relishing in the little noises you made each time he hit that spot deep inside you. He missed the feeling of his dick hitting you there, the way your eyes would roll back in your head, your nails digging into his skin.

He added a second finger, smirking without breaking contact with you when your thighs tried to squeeze shut. He pushed them back open with his free hand, breaking off your cunt to say, “So eager, sweetheart. Soon you’ll have what you want, don’t worry,” he cooed.

You moaned at his promise. “P-please, Joong. Need more. Need you,” you whined. Hongjoong felt his cock twitch at your pleading. God, he wanted to give you everything you wanted. But the reward of working you up was too good to pass up. So he added a third finger, doubling down on his licking and sucking, paying close attention to the noises you made and the way you writhed.

“Joong, m’gonna- I- gonna cum,” you panted, feeling that knot in your stomach.

“Such a good girl,” Joong sighed. “Cum for me, sweetheart.”

With his permission, the knot released and you screamed out as white-hot pleasure overtook your body. Trembling, you were vaguely aware of Hongjoong helping you ride out your orgasm.

When you came down from your high, chest rising and falling as you blinked back to reality, Hongjoong removed his fingers from your pussy, licking your release from them. Your breath hitched as you watched him run his tongue over them. Shit you wanted him.

Hongjoong reached to the bedside table where a condom lay waiting. But you didn’t want that. You wanted him. “Joong, wait,” you said.

Hongjoong froze, brows furrowing. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” he asked, glancing at your restraints, wondering if he made them too tight.

“I’m okay, I just-“ you hesitated. What if he didn’t want what you did? What if he balked at the idea and walked away?

Hongjoong sat on the bed next to you, gently pushing your hair off your forehead. “Sweetheart, please tell me what’s on your mind.”

You took a deep breath. He loved you. He would never leave you over something like this. “I, um, I don’t want you to use the condom,” you confessed.

He was silent, and you panicked.

“Unless you prefer that! Which is okay! I don’t mind!” you said, face flushing.

Hongjoong grabbed your cheek and turned your head so you were forced to meet his eyes. “You understand what you’re asking for, right? I know your cycle. You and I both know what could come from this,” he said.

“I know,” you mumbled. “I want it anyway. I want your baby, Hongjoong. I want you to put your baby in me,” you said.

Hongjoong felt himself go hot all over. “How could I ever say no to that? You’ll make the perfect mother to my baby,” he kissed your mouth, deepening it quickly as he moved into position.

When he slipped inside you, you moaned into his kiss. Hongjoong couldn’t believe how good you felt. “God, you’re so fucking tight, sweetheart,” he groaned.

Then he snapped his hips into you, expertly hitting your sweet spot on the first try. You gasped, pleasure filling you with each thrust of his hips.

Call you sappy, but you kept your eyes on Hongjoong’s feeling the love, the lust, the desire, the pleasure shared between you two. The sounds of your moans and gasps only punctuated by the lewd sounds of his hips slamming into yours.

Soon enough, the pleasure began to build up. Your whining grew higher pitched, your eyes watering as you begged him. “Please, Joong, I’m gonna cum again! Fuck- you- ah! Fuck, you feel so good,” you babbled.

“Go ahead, sweetheart,” Joong gasped in your ear. “Cum on my dick, pretty girl. Then I’ll give you what you want.”

Again, with his promise, you felt your release overtake you. Hongjoong felt your walls clench around him as you came, shaking under him as his cock helped you ride out your second orgasm for the night.

In your pleasure, you babbled out, “Fuck, Joong, fuck, you, oh my God, please, Joong, put a baby in me.”

And how could he deny you? With a shuddering gasp, Hongjoong pushed himself deep inside your pussy, and you felt his cum fill you up. When he finished, Hongjoong pulled out, watching as a little of his cum spilled out of you.

He undid the restraints, massaging your wrists as you both came down from your highs. “I love you,” he mumbled as he bent down to kiss you once more, “so fucking much.”

You smiled into the kiss. “I love you, too.”

---

It had been a couple weeks since that night. You were feeling funny. Nausea had plagued you all morning, and you were worried you might be coming down with something. Only once you vomited violently into the toilet at work did you decide to call the doctor.

She was able to squeeze you in that day, so you packed up your things and drove to the doctor’s office, fighting off nausea the entire time.

Once there, they ran a few tests, but all came back normal until the nurse asked, “Are you sexually active?”

When you responded in the affirmative, she nodded and handed you a cup. “We need a urine sample to do a pregnancy test,” she explained.

Your eyes widened. Oh shit.

You complied and waited nervously in the examination room. The doctor came back in a little while later, a smile on her face. You looked at her with nervousness, expectancy, and a little fear. “Congratulations, you’re pregnant,” she announced.

Your mind went blank. Yes you’d consented to this, but hearing the news was still shocking. So many thoughts went through your mind at once that you began to feel the nausea building back up.

The doctor sat in a chair next to you, gently putting a hand on your shoulder. “I know this is a lot to take in, so try to take a few deep breaths for me.”

Once your breathing slowed again, she nodded happily. “Good. I assume the father is still in the picture?” she asked.

You nodded, “Yes, he is.”

“Excellent!” the doctor said. “Then I think the first thing you need to do is tell him. That way, all the following decisions that need to be made can be done together. Don’t go through this alone. After all, he had a part in it too,” she winked, and you blushed.

---

But the doctor was right. Hongjoong needed to know. So, you waited anxiously for his return that night. When he entered, ever attuned to your emotions, Hongjoong immediately sensed something was up.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, dropping his back immediately and hurrying to your side.

“I’m okay, Joong,” you assured him, a loving smile on your face as you looked at your handsome partner. “I just have some news for you.”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

You took a deep breath. No point in beating around the bush. “I’m pregnant,” you announced.

Hongjoong stared at you. “You- you’re- Are you sure?” he stuttered.

“Yeah, I was throwing up half the morning, so I went to the doctor. She confirmed it,” you said.

“Holy shit,” Hongjoong whispered. “I’m gonna be a dad?”

“You’re gonna be a dad,” you said, trying your best not to giggle.

“I actually put a baby in you,” Hongjoong whispered, awe creeping into his voice. He glanced down at your stomach, placing a hand gently on it. “Our baby is in here,” he said, looking back up at you. Tears were forming in the corners of his eyes.

“Yeah, our baby is in there,” you whispered back.

“Oh my god, we have to move. There’s no way this neighborhood will do for a kid! And you, you have to take it easy from now on. Can your boss let you work from home? Better yet, quit that shitty job I make enough money, you can live comfortably at home. Oh man, we have to buy a crib and tell my mom! And I need to do some research on the best hospitals, I’m not trusting you and my baby to just anyone. And also-“

“Joong!” you cried, laughing now. “One thing at a time! After all, we have nine months to plan. Let’s just… enjoy this moment?”

Hongjoong took a deep breath, running his hand through his hair. “We’re gonna be parents!” he said, sweeping you up to kiss you deeply. You giggled into his kiss, your heart full.

---

Pregnancy was by no means easy. Between the swelling, the reflux, the morning sickness, and the hormones making you insane, Hongjoong was there through it all. He never once complained, instead complying to your every strange dinner request as the cravings hit and making sure you had your favorite tea at all times.

When it came time for the ultrasound to determine the baby’s gender, he specifically took the day off to come with you. You would find out together, of that he was determined. The rest of Ateez made him promise that he’d tell them first.

You swear Hongjoong was more nervous than you. He paced half the morning and nearly ran three red lights when driving to the gynecologist. It was only when you placed a gentle hand on his that he calmed down. “The baby’s gender doesn’t change that this is the same baby we already love,” you said, patting the little bump on your stomach.

Hongjoong stared at your bump with stars in his eyes. “You’re right, as usual,” he sighed. “I guess I’m just excited to know.”

“Me too,” you smiled at him.

Once inside the exam room, you and Hongjoong held hands as the nurse performed the ultrasound. It was hard for you to tell any distinguishing features besides the head and arms and legs, but the nurse was making little notes as she looked. “Aha! There we go!” she exclaimed.

You and Hongjoong looked at her in anticipation. He squeezed your hand.

“Congratulations, you two! You’re having a little boy,” the nurse beamed at you.

Hongjoong couldn’t help it. Tears leaked from his eyes as he turned to you. “A son. We’re gonna have a son!”

You couldn’t help the tears that sprang to your eyes at his emotion. “Yes! And he’ll be the most wonderful little boy,” you smiled.

Hongjoong kissed your forehead. “I love you both so much,” he murmured.

Despite being with him all this time, your heart still fluttered. “We love you too,” you sighed happily. Soon your little family would welcome the baby boy that you swore to love and protect and adore for the rest of his life.

[breakyourrxles]

『paradise lost』 ; 08

❝ annihilation ❞

↳ and so, here you are: the consequences of your actions. the unraveling of a man that you love, and the dissolution of everything that the two of you had been so carelessly working towards.

⎯ ୨previous୧ ⎯  ○  ⎯ ୨series mlist୧ ⎯ ○ ⎯ ୨next୧ ⎯

『 pairing 』 : kim hongjoong x fem!reader

『 genre 』 : romance, angst, explicit sexual content.

『 rating 』 : mature

『 word count 』 : 8k

『 warnings 』 : hatefuck and all of the horrors that come along with that. it’s like watching a trainwreck in slow motion tbh. extreme carelessness emotionally, mean things are said, name calling, slut shaming, etc.

Arriving much quicker than Hongjoong had ever anticipated, made evident to you by the drop of his features upon opening the door to his loft, you don't bother to give him the time to protest, pushing past him with little effort to stop you on his end.

Seonghwa's place wasn't that far out, anyways.

Hair now black and slicked back up and off his forehead, perfectly done and obviously dressed with somewhere to be that evening; all black everything, actually. Pressed slacks and immaculately fitted suit jacket — Hongjoong looks a bit more put together than typical of him, less 'alternative art guy' and more 'business professional,' or rather even—

—dressed for going out somewhere, with someone.

Your face drops even more, and you know now more than ever, you have no business feeling the way that you do at the mere implications that you've fabricated in your mind. The idea that Hongjoong could be planning to spend the evening with someone else, a date. Really now, more than ever before, it's none of your fucking business.

He has every right, and had it been his intent, he certainly would have earned it.

Selfish as ever, you can't help yourself, though. Even after everything else that just took place — Seonghwa, the video, the phone call — you just can't help yourself, being anything but who and what you are. Selfish.

“Wh—where are you going?” you manage to stutter out, features laced with what could only be described as disgust at the mere sight of him. A man that's done nothing wrong, and nothing deserving of them.

A man who under normal circumstances; accepting of your faults, of the way that you're quick to jealousy, who coddles and loves you in spite of it all. Hongjoong laughs at the question, turning his gaze from you. The audacity.

“That's rich, really,” he says, eyes glancing up towards you again as the both of you still in the doorway, but only momentarily, before he begins reaching down for a pair of freshly cleaned and shined dress shoes. “You're really something else, you know that?”

“Joong—“

Hongjoong stands suddenly at the name, a pet name of sorts; a precious shortening that you had fallen into over time and that he once especially loved to hear fall from your lips in the throes of passion, when he knew he was being so good to you that you couldn't utter the entirety of it.

And for what?

“What's really sick about it is that I still want to tell you. I still want to ease your worries, quell your fears of where I am or who I might be with or what I might be doing,” he finally answers, voice louder and pointed, the hurt still horrifically evident in the way that it courses through his body.

“Because the idea that something I do might hurt you literally fucking kills me, even now.”

Eyebrows pressed as closely together as possible, lips pursed, you watch him. The man that you love, the man that you've torn apart.

“Do you know what that feels like? Or do you just ignore the texts and pretend it's not happening?”

Never laid a hand on you with ill intent, the words feel like a punch to the chest all the same.

Hongjoong bends down for his shoes again, beginning to slip them on. “Friend has a gallery opening tonight that I said I’d go to, that's where I'm going.”

“Can I stay here?”

You fumble the words out, just barely. Voice shaken and knowing his whereabouts offering little solace given everything else going on around them. It's barely a logical question, anyway. Stay for what? Until he returns? For when he returns? You practically live there, after all. But it's not something you put any deep insight into before tossing them out there.

Typically the way that you move throughout the world, it seems.

He sighs, shrugging his shoulders. “I guess. Do whatever you want. That's what you do, anyways.”

“Can we please just talk?”

Eyes locked on the man bent before you, you watch as he slowly stands again, a roll of the eyes as he sighs as if entirely fed up with the topic at hand already. Fed up with you. With this.

“I tried to talk,” he begins, raise of the eyebrows and cock of the head that tells you he's doing his best to keep his anger under control. Kim Hongjoong, never raised his voice with you, never loud, never aggressive.

You were testing him, though. Your mere presence was a test.

“But you were busy. Not much to say, now.”

The both of you pause, looking at each other, faces full of twisted emotions bit back in an attempt to remain calm and assert the existence of upper hand in the scenario — you less so, fully willing and able to acquiesce this fight. You lost. You fucked up. You know.

So how can we fix it, can it even be fixed?

It's wrong, and you know it, but it's the only thing you feel as though you have, now. An aggressive approach to appeal to the broken part of him that reluctantly still cares for you, still wants you — still loves you.

“Hongjoong, I lov—“

“Don't.”

Cutting you off, he steps forward suddenly with palms clasping around your face — it's not violent, or with any intent to hurt you — the way that a lover would grasp their partner with intent to kiss them passionately, lovingly.

“Don't do that, you can't do that, you're so fucking—“

Hongjoong pauses, gazing deeply into your eyes with only a few inches off from you — holding you firmly in his hands, in place, you could escape from him but you wish not to. Unsure of his intentions but feeling as though whatever they may be, you would willingly accept them now more than ever.

He never finishes the thought, though, lips harshly crashing onto your own — full of teeth and tongue in an instant — it feels wrong, in some way. A kiss that drips with hurt; a man that knows nothing else in that moment beyond the fact that he wants and loves you even in spite of everything. Everything that you've done, everything that you've put him through.

It feels wrong, and you know that it is, but the warmth of feeling him with you again proving to be far too strong for you to muster up the courage to break away from. Maybe now, more than ever before, the two of you just need one another.

Logically, you know that whatever this is won't fix it, but you need him, and evidently, he needs you, as well.

Needs to have you back, reclaim you, undo whatever it was that Seonghwa did an hour ago.

Hongjoong drops his hands from your face to shrug his jacket off and to the floor, pushing you back and towards the couch that the two of you are no stranger to experiencing one another on — but the thought of a couch so soon after your romp with Seonghwa — bringing back the memories of such a thing, proves to be too much for you to overcome so soon. Back of your thighs hitting the armrest, mouths still sloppy, toothy kisses — the strong taste of tequila on his tongue from what you could only imagine to be a shot or two he downed after the phone call — you pull back briefly to speak, to protest only slightly.

The words catch in your throat as you take his features into your vision — the glistening of particularly moist eyes as Hongjoong's meet your own.

It kills him, being with you now, yet it's still the only thing he wants — even at his own self-destruction.

But Hongjoong doesn't bother pulling his face from yours to hide the evidence of his emotions, instead, he allows you to take it in. 'This is what you do to me, maybe you can finally feel it, too.'

And so, you do. You deserve it, after all. The way your chest feels as though it's caving in on itself as you look into his slightly bloodshot eyes — and the juxtaposition of his fingers making quick work of the button on the front of your pants, then zipper, then thumbs hooked into the sides before he spins you by the hips again. It's happening so fast and with such little thought put into it.

And not a word spoken, either.

This isn't him. Normally such a caring, considerate, gentle and attentive lover — but the haste in which he's now trying to take you is foreign. The man standing behind you now, feeling like a stranger.

It certainly does feel familiar, and in all of the wrong ways. You finally remember what it was that you wanted to say to begin with.

“Not here, Joong—“ you breathe out just as his hand meets the small of your back and you begin to hear the sound of his belt buckle.

He pauses, because of course he does.

And then you hear him continue with his belt.

“Why? Why not here?”

You think it's the first time he's ever met your reluctance with questioning of the reason behind it, and you don't particularly want to detail it, either.

“Just—“

“Remember the safe word, right?”

“Yes!” you bite back, getting somewhat annoyed at the way that he won't let you speak, at the way that he's being.

You feel him shuffle his slacks down around his thighs a bit from behind you, gritting your teeth and fingernails digging into the red cushion of the couch that you'd grown to love. So many memories of the both of you smiling and laughing and loving on it.

Only to be dwindled down to this. Whatever this even is.

“Why?” he asks again, this time louder, but before you get a chance to reply, it becomes evident that the reasoning dawns on him, having seen the video, after all. “Oh, is it because he just fucked you like this? Is that it? Guilty?”

You don't answer, thoughts being brought to the way his hand slides down from the small of your back to your panties — no doubt still bearing evidence of your deeds just earlier in the night, you can't see Hongjoong's face, and for once, you're thankful for it.

You think to yourself now, that you're pretty sure you know precisely what he thinks of you, anyways.

Hongjoong shakes his head, biting the inside of his cheek as if contemplating precisely the way to move forward with this particular endeavor, fingers curling around the fabric of worn and used panties that he now wants nothing to do with and pulling them off towards the side as much as he can manage — the sound of tearing elastic ripping through the otherwise quiet apartment, and you grimace at the sound, at the feeling.

At him.

Feeling the tip of his cock against you from behind, threatening to enter you, your heartbeat increases all that much more. You want him, you want him desperately, now more than ever before, and even in spite of how terribly wrong it feels in this moment. In this way. The unignorable feeling that you two should not be engaging in this right now, how it won't fix anything — the carnal desire that Hongjoong has for you, to have you, physically, mentally, emotionally, and the same for you to be had by him — overwhelming all logic and sense.

It's something the two of you can figure out, later. You're not happy with the way that it's going down, but you're not going to stop him either, because you need him to need you, and if this is how he has to do it — punishing, thoughtless, hurtful — then so be it.

You earned it.

“Did you think of me?” he finally says, normally talkative and bright during sexual endeavors, now cold and quiet — and this, this not what you had been hoping for, either. “When he fucked you, did you think of me even a little bit?”

“God, Hongjoong, what the fuck?” you spit, craning your head back from your bent position in an attempt to look at him. Furrowed eyebrows. Truly a stranger to you, now.

“Just curious if I even crossed your mind,” he says as his hips slowly press forward, your body taking his length as you groan out at the intrusion.

Hips snapping forward suddenly to push the rest of himself into you in an instant, you grit your teeth and screw your eyes shut.

“Did he at least wear a condom? Or have you just that little care for me now, too?”

You wonder if he's genuinely asking or not, considering he's already buried inside of you — perhaps simply a risk he's willing to take in an attempt to reclaim what he believes to be his in the best way he knows how.

“Yes, he wore a condom, Jesus Christ,” you answer with a hiss, but the man behind you only chuckles. 

“Can't know with you anymore, don't know if I ever really did.”

Like a knife twisting in your chest, the words tumbling from his mouth. A man who once loved to shower you with praise and words of adoration as he made love to you, now a second and a third harsh snap of his hips against you — nearly painful at the drive — and nothing kind to say at all.

You sort of hate the fact that he feels heavenly inside of you, the harshness behind the otherwise perfect fit of him. Would it be so wrong to enjoy it? To come?

Quickly settling into a steady, fast rhythm, Hongjoong doesn't bother reaching down to rub you through what he may hope to eventually be your orgasm, one hand instead opting to reach up and into your hair as the other settles on the small of your back again to keep you settled there. “This what you need from me?” he grunts out between thrusts, voice broken — unsure if it's the act or the emotions behind it.

“Need me to fuck you like a whore? Is that it?”

It's not dirty talk, you know that. Trying to ignore the way your arousal reacts to it as if it is, you clench your eyes shut again, hating the way that even this, in this moment, is making him feel. The desperate need for one another in any way, however the two of you may achieve it, yet manifesting in the most ugly way imaginable.

He's never said that word to you before.

“Hongjoong, please—“ you whine, partially from the words and how much they hurt, and partially from the exquisite drag of his cock against your walls.

But before you can finish the sentence, Hongjoong has you up and off of your chest, hand still in your hair as he pulls you around and to the wall just on the opposite side. Only a few footsteps away until you're back against it, grip of his fingers into the strands so much tighter than before and offering almost no mobility to your head, his mouth meets your own again as he nips and bites at your bottom lip, dragging down your jaw and to your neck to suck marks into the skin — barely faded marks made by him not even a week ago still — as if a caveman's attempt at reclaiming what's his.

“I miss you so much, every time you're gone,” he whispers into your neck, a sudden and unexpected admission of himself, his feelings. The Hongjoong that you truly know and love slipping through the cracks of a worn down, bitter man otherwise before you this evening. It feels comforting, to hear him again, to know that he's still down in there somewhere.

The guilt bubbles up all over again on the other side of the coin, knowing that he's still in there. After everything that you have put him through, and even through this, he's still there.

“I really, really—“

The words are so soft as they spill out in breaths on your hot skin, Hongjoong's hand hiking your leg up to grant himself access to you again as he slides back inside with ease. Bringing his mouth up just in time for the both of you to groan against each other's lips at the feeling — for the first time in the night, it feels right, it feels reminiscent of him.

“—fucking hate you. I hate what you've done to me.”

It catches you off guard, then another sharp snap of his cock into you has you reeling all over again, a moan reluctantly falling from your mouth and into his due to his proximity, you look into his eyes in an attempt to parse through the situation — the thoughts, the feelings he's experiencing.

Slightly hooded eyes filled with lust, desperation, anger stare back at you, as if enjoying watching the way you fall apart for him all the same as before, but for what reason you aren't quite sure.

Is this make up sex, or something entirely different?

But everything aside, the long, quick drags of his cock inside of you, hard against all of the places he knows you love, sends you quickly towards your own orgasm — not sure if it's his intention or not to let you come, you whine out his name as your hands come up and around his neck, clenching hard into the black shirt he currently adorn — nails sinking into bare skin at areas where the shirt moves out of place, and Hongjoong hisses at the feeling of the contact, head thrown back briefly as his eyes roll only to then kiss you hard again.

“Gonna come for me, baby?” he asks, lips pressed into your own as he does and eyes never breaking contact with your own. “Like when I treat you poorly? Don't give a fuck about you?—“

A few harder drives into you. “Gonna take my cum, slut?”

Slut. So that's what he thinks of you.

Who could blame him, really.

And it's the first time that Hongjoong says something nasty to you that takes you out of it a little bit. Heart sinking, your mind comes back to you at the utterance of the words against your mouth — as if you're supposed to love it, but truthfully, knowing that he's past the point of caring whether you do or not.

Hongjoong's painted fingernails curling harder into your hair again as his thrusts become faster, more erratic in an effort to chase his orgasm, you find that yours has seemingly been lost to the drop of one single word.

And he doesn't seem to care in the slightest.

Hissing at the pain to your scalp, you wince slightly. “Hongjoong, it hurts—“

“Now you know how I feel.”

A thoughtless reply from him in a way you never could have anticipated, and before you have a chance to think through it, you feel the pulsating of his cock as he buries deep into you, releasing hard and heavy and with a bit back groan against the shell of your ear.

Immediately upon finishing, the man relinquishes his hold onto you, hands opting instead to splay against the wall on either side of you as you remain propped up against it, watching the way he attempts to catch his breath again quickly and regain composure — stuffing himself back into his pants almost as quickly as he had finished off, as well — as if now fully present and completely aware of all of the ways that this is so astonishingly fucked up.

Pulling back from you, you take note of the light sheen of sweat on his forehead, then beautifully long lashes as his eyes make their way back up to meet yours for the first time since finishing the endeavor.

What you don't expect to find, is the tears brimming his eyes, however.

Slamming a fist against the wall, you realize that it's coming back to him far quicker than you had expected — the events that had just transpired. Words said, feelings ignored.

Choking back the sob that threatens to escape him, Hongjoong instead opts to pull away from you completely, settling back against the arm of the couch that had started this whole thing to watch you from a distance — you can only assume that he thinks you want it, from him. After whatever it was that that was.

“I hate this. I'm not—“

Bringing his palms up to his face, you can hear the horror laden in his voice, at himself.

“Hongjoong, it's okay,” you offer, but he just as quickly shakes his head in dismissal.

“I love you, you know that, right? Why are you fucking doing this to me?”

Slowly picking your jeans back up and settling them into place again as you watch the man before you come undone emotionally once again, for the first time ever in regards to him, you don't know what to do. You don't know what's right, or what he needs.

But one thing is for sure, you didn't want his confession to be off of the back of this.

The word still ringing loud and clear through your mind, the ease in which it tumbled from his lips as if he hadn't even thought twice about it — or rather, he had thought it numerous times before, in actuality. Almost certainly not the first time the word had come up in regards to you, and perhaps he had never said it, and almost certainly told himself that he never would, and that it was wrong, and fucked up, and not okay.

He still did.

But even off of the back of the man that you love effectively using you physically with little regard — a result of so much pent up pain and suffering and not knowing anything else — it's not the sex that upsets you, because the sex is what you also wanted. You don't care that he didn't try to get you off, or that he was rougher than usual, and even a little distracted from being entirely present and in the moment with you. You knew the safe word, and chose never to use it.

It's the word. The words that he said. That you know he meant with every fiber of his being, only then able to finally say them to your face, tell you how he really feels about you, with the guise of dirty talk and another guilty fuck for the night.

This one feels far worse, however.

You did this. You did this to him, and you did it to the concept of 'us.'

And it's true that we are only ever responsible for our own actions, that at the end of the day, Hongjoong has to deal with his own demons in relation to the night, and the words and actions displayed going forward. Watching as he sobs into his palms, and finally stepping forward to take him into your arms, to tell him that it's okay, that you're okay, that it doesn't matter and we can finally just move on from this and do better, be better together and for each other — Hongjoong abruptly springs up and away from your touch, wiping smudged eye makeup from his under eyes with the knuckle of his thumbs gently as he sniffles and shakes his head sharply.

“No,” he says, matter of fact and through a hoarse throat. “No, no more.”

You don't know what he means, but the sinking in your chest gives you an idea.

“We're not doing this anymore, I'm not doing this anymore,” he continues on, bending down towards his coat and slinging it on once again — motions hurried and as if he's quick to exit the apartment all of a sudden. It's such a fast switch from how he was only moments ago — hunched over and in on himself, crying into his hands at himself, at this.

And now, one can only assume, that he had taken the time to mourn the loss of you, and of what had been and could have been in the future.

Remaining silent, you don't even want to press him for more, horror splitting through your body, through your veins and bones and the tears welling up in your eyes faster than you can even follow as your throat dries. Please not this, please don't be what you think it is.

Please don't give up on this, on us. I love you. You love me.

“I don't want to see you anymore.”

I don't love you anymore, goodbye.

“Hongjoong—“

Finally able to muster up the courage, the words, with his already out and on the table, it's all you have, you have to do and say something — you can't let it end like this.

Watching Hongjoong quickly slip his shoes on, so rushed and desperately attempting to make his way out of the shared room, he looks back to you only briefly, for a split second — obviously intent on not making or keeping eye contact with you. It makes him feel like a stranger.

So many new sides of him, tonight. All manifested by your wrongdoings.

“Don't,” he chokes out, rummaging through some items on the table near the door, it takes him a hasty moment to finally find his keys, then eyes quickly darting about to locate his phone.

You hate the way he so badly wishes to not be in your presence, when not long ago, your presence was the only thing he wished to have.

“Please,” he says, finally finding his phone and swiping it off of a table across the room before jogging back to the front door and pulling the door slightly ajar. Hongjoong looks back at your eyes again, both glistening with the suffering befallen the situation.

Mourning it. Mourning a love that crashed before it ever really even took off.

“I love you,” Hongjoong finally admits, and it's the strongest his voice has sounded since you arrived there. Gazing upon him as he stands tall, firm in the doorway with keys and door knob in hand — his expression just as equally pained as the first time he had laid eyes on you that evening.

An expression that is so desperate for an alternate ending to this, for a different possibility, for something else that doesn't have to be this.

“—but I can't say it. Not really. Not outside of this. For as fucked up as you are, so am I,” he says, voice now giving way ever so slightly, it's such a pained admission of self-understanding in a way that you feel as though you've never heard from him.

Hongjoong can tell you that he loves you now, only because he hates you equally as much.

“I don't want to lie, and I can't tell you the truth—“ he stutters out again, fingers gripping tightly into the metal keys in his fist as he allows the words out of his mouth.

He can't say the words. The actual words he means. Not past the initial admittance of not wanting to see you anymore, he can't say that the relationship is over — because he doesn't want it to be, and because he knows that he can't adhere to it with the slightest protest. The biggest reason for his needing to escape the fire now — not that you disgust him, or that he feels vile in your presence, but rather still entirely the opposite — an unending, inextinguishable love for you, a desire to have you and be with you that above all else, trumps all else.

You're destroying me, and yet I want nothing more than to be destroyed by you.

“I won't come back tomorrow so please just...have your stuff out in two days, please.”

He's begging you, now. Begging you to stop hurting him, begging you to let him heal and move on from this, from the damage you have inflicted upon him.

And choking out an “okay,” you watch him turn and leave the apartment, the sound of the large, front door slamming and echoing through the empty loft apartment that you had grown so fond of.

That you may never find yourself inside of again.

And with Hongjoong gone, you allow yourself to have it finally — the sob you bit back all this time now ripping through your chest and echoing through just as the door had.

How did we get here? How did it come to this?

“Hello?”

Beyond your initial response to the sound — heart thumping hard in your chest as you sit up straight from bed, automatic physical response one of high alert, because you know you shouldn't be hearing another person — a man, at that — in the apartment.

But you want to, you were hoping to, and as you laid your head down on the pillow that Hongjoong had once bought specifically for you to sleep beside him on, the last time that you likely ever would, you may have sent something of a prayer out into the ether — to someone, and to nothing all at once, that he might come back, have a change of heart and mind.

Find it in himself to forgive you.

And as your heart slows with each seconds passing, you come to realize that while the voice a familiar one — not the one you had been wishing for as sleep had taken you hours prior.

“I'm—“ you quiet after beginning the sentence, realizing that you had taken one of his shirts from the floor of the upstairs loft next to the bed and adorned it to sleep in, not expecting anyone to be finding you in such a way.

But given the circumstances, and the visitor in question, suppose it doesn't matter.

“—upstairs, give me a second,” you finish, voice small and ashamed of having been found like this. Less about the shirt, more about everything else surrounding it.

You wish not to be seen, and to be swallowed up by the ground itself, instead.

Slipping a pair of sweatpants on, you lazily head down to greet the visitor, already well aware of the face that would find you but none happier about it all the same. Barely able to make eye contact with the man as he tosses his keys onto the table, shoes already kicked off in the entrance — you can't help but chuckle to yourself internally about the last time the two of you met and what that looked like.

Hair blonde and fluffy just the same as that night, over sized, gray sweatshirt gracing his torso, it makes him look small, approachable. You aren't used to seeing him like this, but you aren't really used to seeing him at all, you suppose.

“Hey.”

“Hey, you. How are you?”

You watch Wooyoung's features sort of shift, as if realizing the stupidity of the question too long after the fact. He instead opts to pick up a white, plastic bag from the floor carrying what appears to be styrofoam take out containers, and with a small smile, holds it up to you. “Brought you food, let's have breakfast.”

“Um,” you muster out, hating the way you have to say the words and all of the implications behind them, but Wooyoung pauses at the sound, eyes shifting towards you again on the journey to the kitchen. “Hongjoong...isn't here.”

He sighs with a gentle smile. “I know. Let's eat.”

It's quiet over pancakes, even more so with the memories of the last time you sat at this dining room table. Thoughts mixing together of the conversation you had had with Hongjoong here, paired with everything else, you make an attempt to put something in your stomach with Wooyoung there — now obviously sent over by the man you've done so much wrong to in order to look after you — now caring for you the best way he knows how: entirely in his own absence. You can feel the heavy gaze of brown eyes on you occasionally, as if a father watching over his child and making sure they're getting their meals in.

There's kindness there, even love. Even now. Maybe hope.

Wooyoung finishes the last bite of his strawberry before taking a sip of water and leaning back in his chair. You can tell that he doesn't want to be the first one to ask about it — likely not wanting to pry, and all things considered, he's Hongjoong's friend, not yours.

But he's still here. For you. In spite of that.

“Do you know where Hongjoong is?”

It's simple, and you feel guilty for asking. It's really none of your business where he is, now more than ever, but still — the question weighs heavily on your mind.

Wooyoung clears his throat, crossing his arms over his chest and glancing away briefly before meeting your eyes again. “I shouldn't tell you this, he's my friend, after all—“

“I know.”

“—But, he's at my place.”

It's a relief. You don't expect that Hongjoong went to Wooyoung for another guilty, miserable round even with having a little bit of knowledge of their history together, and figure it far too evil on Hongjoong's end to fuck, or be fucked by, the man and then send him over the next morning to do...whatever it is that Wooyoung is here to do, anyway.

“He had a thing and then he came by late.”

“That's good.”

“It wasn't like that, don't worry.” The man placates the little bit of curiosity regardless, and with a slightly shit-eating grin as if trying to lighten the mood with a joke. You meet him halfway with a perked up corner of your mouth as well.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

The words slice through your ears like glass — the idea of reliving the events of last night all over again, as if talking about it were to bring any solace or comfort in the aftermath of the destruction you had caused in only an hour or two.

Fiddling with the hem of Hongjoong's t-shirt as the fabric sits pooled in your lap, you stare down at your busy fingers. “I mean, suppose he told you already.”

“He did,” Wooyoung says, nodding once in affirmation of the fact. “He's...not proud. It's sort of why I'm here — well, that, and to help you move.”

Help you move.

There's a lot to take in in such a short sentence you find, but Hongjoong standing firm in his resolve to not do this anymore, not have you anymore being the one that weighs the most heavily at first. Truthfully, you had hoped that Wooyoung had come in an effort to help the both of you work through it.

But, apparently that is not so.

“Not...proud?” you question, looking up and across the table at the man.

He leans forward, elbows pressed against the wood — earnest and serious but gentle all at the same time — such a far cry from the way in which you had met him before.

“You know as well as I do that Hongjoong is a good man. Kind, delicate — he's an art school kid, you know how they are,” he chuckles, waving a hand about in the air. “He's not at all happy with the way that things went down last night between the two of you.”

“Well, that makes two of us.”

“I don't really know all of the details, I don't need to,” Wooyoung starts again. “But he didn't apologize, he wants to apologize, he just can't.”

“And why can't he?” you question, voice small and throat dry, the conversation already beginning to bubble up again the feelings from before.

You don't want to cry in front of this man, but he's making it so hard.

“He can't...see you. Talk to you.”

“So he sent you to do it for him.”

Wooyoung frowns at the words — the way that it sounds so pathetic and cowardly, and perhaps that's not even false, but sometimes we have to be so in an effort to protect ourselves from further suffering. “Sort of, yeah.”

The two of you silence, Wooyoung sitting back again and chewing at the inside of his lip as he contemplates the best way to handle the situation going forward. For you, it's the stifling of the burning pain felt deeply in your chest — a kind of pain only expelled by the feeling of one's feelings, and for that, the man sent to help you needs to not be here.

Crying in front of him does neither of you any good. What's the point. It won't bring Hongjoong back here before you're gone.

“I know he's a good man, I...neither of us were in great form last night,” you say, finally acknowledging the words that Wooyoung had delivered.

Wooyoung nods, pushing his chair back from the table and moving to pick up the dishes from it, and just as quickly as the thought comes to you, the tears prick at the corners of your eyes all over again. Wooyoung is all you have, he's your one chance at undoing this, at trying to make it right for the two of you again. Looking up at him, eyes bloodshot and glistening with furrowed brows, you gently take his wrist to stop his movement towards the sink.

“I love him, Wooyoung. He loves me.”

Deeply inhaling, he frowns slightly but nods to you all the same — acknowledging the words in a silent plea to allow him to set the dishes in the sink and that he would then return to you. He does, quickly, taking you by the hand and bringing you to the open living area where the both of you sit on the couch together.

A man with many good qualities, the best being his kindness. Knowing well enough the torment you've put his friend through, and still here, by your side, in the aftermath of it all.

Inhaling heavily again, Wooyoung takes both of your hands into his lap and cradling them within his own as he looks you in your eyes. Delicacy but seriousness in his own simultaneously.

“Sometimes...even when we love someone, and they love us, too much damage has been done, and it's not fixable.”

Your heart drops in an instant, the tears welling up just as fast and all over again.

“I'm not here to advise you one way or another, just like I wouldn't advise him one way or another, either. Truthfully, I adore both of you — individually, and together—“

He pauses, thinking. “—but there's been a lot of hurt. On both sides.”

“You're saying I should move on, give up—“ you choke out, squeezing your fists still harbored under his own.

“I'm saying that you shouldn't wait.”

Waiting for Hongjoong to come around again, the thought that had been bouncing around in your skull from the moment he said the words — that if you simply waited long enough, he would come around. The hurt would eventually subside, and he could and would remember all of the ways in which the two of you made each other so unfathomably happy. That if you just waited, he could heal, love you again like he once did — without the hate lacing the word and making it easy for him to give to you.

And now, Wooyoung is telling you not to, in the nicest way possible. Parsing through the language, the meaning behind it ringing loud and clear to you: for you, he will never recover. The damage you have caused him is irreversible, as far as your relationship to him. He is traumatized by you, and your presence in his life will halt his healing.

Don't wait, he will never come around.

You don't give a response, eyes pulling away from the man and instead looking up to the ceiling, the tears too strong to fight now, and it's just as quickly that Wooyoung slings an arm around your shoulder and pulls you tightly against him in a hug.

You break down into the contact, chest heaving and pained as you sob into his sweater.

Hours later and boxes packed a few minutes before four in the afternoon, Wooyoung comes back inside the apartment after having carried the last to his car to take to your own place. Looking around slowly at your surroundings — the apartment feeling so large and empty despite the fact that you didn't have so many things there to begin with and it still full of all of Hongjoong's things, you sigh — sad, and heavy — Wooyoung slipping his fingers in between your own on one hand as if to offer you more comfort. The two of you meet eyes, and he smiles ever so gently at you.

You wonder if this is the last time you will ever see the man again, and how painful of a loss that is, as well.

“Can I ask you something?” you say, boldly. “Like, not as my friend, or his friend, or even as a therapist just...I don't know, as a person.”

He laughs at the question, snorting through his nose as he nods. “Sure, I'll try.”

“What would you do, if you were me?”

Wooyoung squeezes your hand ever so slightly before pulling from you entirely, and you think in the moment that you've gone too far — pressed your relationship with the man too much and out of his comfort zone with the man that you love to extend you any more kindness, but instead, he shuffles a hand through messy, blonde hair and chuckles again.

“Don't know,” he starts, shaking his head slightly. “Suppose it is the only way to leave, though, isn't it?”

You know he's referring to the way that Hongjoong has — abruptly, suddenly, painfully.

“Suppose you still love them?” you answer back, quiet and almost a whisper as you gaze up at him through somewhat expectant eyes. You know that Wooyoung won't simply say things to make it easier on you, especially not after having just told you not to wait for the man that you want nothing more than to wait for, but still...you can only hope.

And he takes silence for far too long for your liking as he mulls over the question in his mind — perhaps not a scenario in which Wooyoung has ever had to experience himself, and you're happy for the fact, be it on either end of the situation. A man that deals more in quick thrills and fun rather than attempting to dabble in the sides of love, much less forever.

Eyes meeting yours again, he bumps his own shoulder into yours — a sort of playfulness that has no business being in the conversation, in the situation at all, but given the man that you're dealing with, you're unsurprised.

“Suppose you still love them,” he repeats again and to himself, before answering with finality.

“Then you don't leave.”

After dropping you back to your own place of residence and helping you bring your belongings back inside, Wooyoung bids you a pleasant farewell. You're thankful for Hongjoong's kindness — be it out of his love for you or guilt for what he's done to you, now well past five you realize that beyond the pancakes that Wooyoung had brought you much earlier in the morning, you had not eaten.

Not up for cooking, and barely up for eating at all, anyways, you decide on a small café only recently opened up down the block from you. It's nothing special, and no reviews to show for itself given its newness — but with less than an ample appetite, no reason not to give them a chance.

How hard could it be to make a BLT and a coffee, anyways?

Stepping inside with the ringing of a bell on the top of the door, you're actually pleasantly surprised to find other people already seated inside and from what you can tell, happily enjoying their items at their tables. You step forward and towards the counter, out of the way in case someone else were to come through with their mind already made up as you gaze upon the menu — taking in the scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked bread items that line up the back wall on the other side of the register side.

Coming from the back room, a woman greets you happily. “Hello! Welcome to Mountain Breeze Café! Take your time.”

You thank her, turning your attention back up and towards the menu before feeling the presence of another person slinking up and next to you. Assumed to be another patron waiting, you turn to look at him as he, too, looks upon the menu.

“I'm not ready, you can go ahead of me.”

He turns his head to meet your eyes, an ever so slight grin forming on his lips that take form at the ends as dimples — you're a little taken aback by his striking features — sharp and cat-like, with medium-long black hair and a carefully placed slit cut out of his eyebrow.

Honestly, he looks sort of terrifying, but the childish smile dulling his otherwise serious face.

“May I recommend something?” he says, eyes widening and bright. You're now completely taken by the way he softens in an instant. What an intriguing, somewhat bizarre, man.

“Sure...” you reluctantly allow, supposing you're thankful for it given the fact that you've never been before, but all the same alarmed by the outward friendliness of the strange man in the new café.

“I think the melted ham and cheese is best,” he says with a nod. “As for drinks, you can get anything really, they're all good. I like smoothies, though.”

“It's cold outside,” you say to the smoothie comment.

“Goes well with hot food!”

“You're a little weird, huh?” you finally say to him, but he only laughs at the statement as you nod towards the woman waiting to receive your order that you will, in fact, be allowing him to hijack your dining experience.

“Not weird,” he amends, nodding gently and with a slow blink, really almost cat-like even in mannerisms. “It's my café, I own the place.”

Startled at the admission, you stumble over your words a bit, attempting to recall the entirety of a conversation in passing that meant almost nothing to you and hoping that you hadn't said anything rude, or hurtful — you know, just in case the food is good.

“God, I'm sorry,” you start, exhaling heavily. “It's been...a long twenty-four hours. I've had better days.”

“I'm sorry to hear that,” he says, and he sounds empathetic, although you can't tell if he's simply putting on a show because it's what he should do in the moment. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Your immediate response is to chuckle at the thought, having just spent all afternoon talking about it with Wooyoung, but it's past that that the fact that you don't even know this man dawns on you. How you feel so comfortable with him already that this wasn't the first thought that comes to mind, you may never know.

“With all due respect,” you laugh, turning towards a small, empty table and sitting down at one of the two chairs perched just beside it. “I don't know you, why would I?”

Standing before you, the man looks as though he's thinking for a moment, before the logic of the situation dawns on him in real time. You can't help but feel a sort of child-like innocence from him, as if simple, everyday, real world concepts are still something he's attempting to grapple with each passing moment — as if he's not twenty-however old and a business owner.

“True, in that case—“ he responds, pulling the other chair out and seating himself down into it before finishing the thought.

“—I'm Choi San, and now you do.”

♡ send me your thoughts and feelings in my ask.

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[scrumptiousstuffs]

Hiii I want to talk a little bit about something that bothers me about the "fanservice" FK do.

I don't believe at all that their relationship is fake, there's not a doubt in my mind they love each other dearly and while they might have to exaggerate sometimes or create moments in order to sell their ship (especially when doing promo for a new series) I don't think you can fake the comfort they feel around each other and the literal heart eyes.

But there is just one thing that bothers me so much 😭 Their manager is ALWAYS with them. Anytime there's a cute picture of them who posted it? P'Som🙄 whose job is exactly that, to sell their ship. I distinctly remember that picture of khao putting on a necklace on first backstage (I don't remember which show it was sorry), and everyone going crazy over it, how intimate!! So domestic of them! And I just couldn't stop thinking like......that's fake. It's cute I love the picture but it's clearly staged and I can almost picture them standing still in the position so that she could take the photo 😭 same with the pic first posted of khao before the award show in Busan, as soon as she posted the bts of that photo the intimacy of it was gone, destroyed

That's why those moments previous to them being an official ship are so precious to me, or anytime we get to see them hanging out with each other just for the sake of being with each other, like khao driving first to see his birthday project, or their little concert date recently.

Now I hope this doesn't come across as negative or hate towards P'Som, that's not my intention at all, it's just this is something I think about so much and I never see anyone mention it, and maybe I can find someone here who thinks like me? It's like this kind of fanservice has the completely opposite effect on me lol anyways love your blog!! 🥰

Firstly, a disclaimer - I won’t pretend I understand much about CP culture or even how the idol/actors/actress modus operandi works.

Secondly, we are both in agreement most of what we normally see of them are just their genuine, dorky sweet self (and I mentioned in previous asks, you can't fake the off-screen antics!). Beside, we always know when FK are doing "extra" fanservice; they break out into giggles or goosebumps straight after that.

But even with my limited knowledge of fanservice, here’s the thing about our boys - they are otherwise terrible at selling themselves on social media (for lack of better terms). If I have to give them a grade, it's a C+ (or at best, B-).

Let me see if I can explain it better. Like all the posts we see on IG? It’s all just promo of their upcoming events/series or artistic, blurry shots lovestagram (these are slowly getting better) or more recently, the deforming filters First like to use. Even their presence of TikTok? - it’s only been recently they started to post cute silly videos (which I suspect is partly helped by Joong finally pulling our boys into the 21st century). Twitter? - they come and dropped flirtatious videos/tweet (and we go wild!), but then disappears for days sometimes without posting anything 😅. Now, I personally don’t mind what they do cause our boys are kooky and offbeat (and well, I choose to follow them) 🤣.

However, when you compare to other GMMTV CPs like JoongDunk, ForceBook, PondPhuwin or our most certainly married/dating EarthMix?...FK presence on social media is a small footprint. Even EarthMix (who we can all agree are super domestic), beyond posting about their fur babies, post thirst trap pictures - we have EM in 🛀 with bubbles, we see Mix shirtless showing his 6-packs or Earth intricate back tattoos! Joong is on another level of unhinged (I'll give him A+ for his fanservice) with whatever he is posting on IG/Twitter but we love him for that…😆

So, I genuinely think, in a way, P'Som is trying to help our boys. She is their work-mom and manager. Either way, it is her job to post BTS photos of our boys during formal events/photoshoots/filming.

The 2 moments you mentioned specifically -

Khaotung putting on the necklace for First? (that's during the FK Rome fanmeet, early 2024). Fans went berserk (not only because it was a cute moment) but because during ArmShare First's bday special episode, Khaotung gifted him that necklace (among many other things) - Fans asked First why he didn't wear the necklace during his 25th bday gathering. He explained the clasp is difficult to put on his own, and he promised he will wear it next time during the fanmeet with the help of Khaotung. Thus, while it might have been "staged" in that sense, it was also a promise by FK to the fans (personally, I have a feeling the boys probably won't care if they show the moment to the fans per se. However, P'Som being a good work-mom will capitalise on it to promote our boys - cause that's her job, yeah?)

As for the Busan trip, I have no doubt it was still First who took Khaotung photo + posted it on his IG. The picture he posted is actually slightly different from the BTS shot photo we got from P'Som. Likely First took countless of photos (the boys just doing their usual thing of taking boyfriend-coded photos). It is also likely our boys never asked for the moment itself to be captured. However, Busan was a work event. And so, she was again doing her job by taking some BTS photos. If you ask me whether it was staged or not? - My answer will be Yes & No - Yes, because P'Som would have probably told the boys something on the line of "hey, I'm going to take photo of the 2 of you", where the boys may subconsciously stiffened/act up. But also No, because they were already doing the photo session themselves (am I making sense? 🤣)

Like even the “sharing a bed moment”? - that’s half stage - P’Som probably saw the boys just lounging/resting on the bed and thought - “Good moment! The fans going to love it!!” But our boys probably never really thought about sharing this kind of moment 🙂‍↕️ (while we see other CPs teasing their fans doing exactly that!)

However, moments like below? - I can't see it being stage per se. It's too candid for anything else.

But you are right - the best moments between the boys are when they are together (outside of work schedule), just enjoying each other company and then voluntarily sharing their moments with us 😉 (or when the other friends share it on behalf of them cause our boys are a pair of introvert 😩. Like even their personal trainer is better at updating what our boys are doing??? 😭)

[inventedfangirling]

BEST of BL's in 2023 [Thai edition]

(more accurately my favourites from 2023, so that i have something to show for the 100s of hours i spent watching them lmao)

I Feel You Linger In The Air - Head & Shoulders above (almost) every single piece of queer media i've ever watched. Khun Yai and Jom will be forever icons. That drunk poem confession will NEVER be topped. Also LESBIANS AHHHHHH also the way the show explored intimacy AHHH just end meeee

2. Moonlight Chicken - Aof strikes again. Gave me Uncle Jim, Heart, Li Ming and my baby boy Gaipa- the music, the cinematography, the writing, the found fckin family - i will recommend it to EVERY one on the planet if i could.

3. Be My Favourite- I did not expect to enjoy this show as much as i did. I loved what they were tryna say. I LOVED the queer undertones in EVERYTHING. if not for the asexual erasure and Not being an absolute asshole this would have been quite the perfect show. And man is Gawin so darn sculpted perfection, LOOK AT THAT FACE, how to not admire!? Also Pearmai my beloved. AND THAT POEM in episode 11 ARGHHH

4. Bed Friend - I know this was a polarizing series in a lot of ways and I agree to some of the complaints raised BUTTTTTT NET MY FRENZ NET! How am i supposed to not melt into a complete puddle watching King pretend to not be absolutely in love with Uea, and treating him like the babygirl he is, when he looks like THAT. I'm but a mere mortal.

5. La Pluie - I kinda liked the show and disliked it in equal amounts. Saengtai annoyed me quite a LOT towards the end BUT his brother Sangtien - Suar Kritsanaphong had me in the palm of his hand. Him and his kiss with Lomfon is etched firmly in my brain. It HAD to be on this list.

6. Only Friends - Gawd. The Promise. The Promise of it all. Thats what maddens me THE MOST. There was just SO MUCH that they could have done. Even if they stuck with a lot of their similar choices i would have still put it higher up on the list if they hadn't undone all the good work they did in the final episode. I couldnt even bring myself to rewatch anything from this one cos of how disappointingly it ended. That being said - FirstKhao KILLED it as usual, i CANNOT wait for their next one, BOSTON deserved better and my MVP- Mark Pakin AHHH i NEED him on EVERY SHOW EVER but also in ways concerning to me GAWD WHAT A TALENT AND WHAT A FACE.

7. Laws of Attraction - Charn you guys. Charn and his utterly deranged expressions and his even more deranged ex. And ofc everything else the show offered. The drama. The mystery. The family. The romance. THE LESBIANS!!!!? Few things not to love. Especially the finale with all the domestic husbanding going on. Precious af.

8. Hidden Agenda - Far too much nonsensical plotlessness going on here for this to claim this position BUT i'm just a girl watching Joong swoon over his man and losing it in the corridor and proceeding to do that myself cos man he's so damn good in these kinda scenes. I think he'd be good in more serious ones too but I would much prefer it if it was with somebody who could offer more than Dunk (no shade he very cute himself)

POTENTIAL FAVS

The following is a list of shows i loved/liked it a LOT but still watching/running so I can't fully judge

(in no particular order except the first one cos who am i to put an aof show not at the top of any list)

Last Twilight [BEST THING EVER I AM WHOLLY AND IRRETRIEVABLY IN LOVE IM GONNA REWATCH IT LIKE ITS MY JOB PLS I NEED IT TO STICK THE LANDING SO BAD]

Love in Translation - episode 4 what a beauty, one of my fav episodes of any BL in 2023 ever- just LOVED the whole fake date thing - it was EVERYTHING

Wedding Plan - Leads are cute. Lesbians are cuter. Made me laugh. Also CUTENESS hello

Night Dream - Who doesn't love a long unrequited but actually totally requited love story?

The Sign - nothing i can ever say is gonna be enough to encompass just how mind-blowing this series is from concept to execution to CGI to costumes to the gorgeous leads with fckin electric chemistry AND the PINING and the will they won't they arhhhh- TOP TIER STUFF

Cooking Crush - i went into this with minimal expectations, the trailer didnt do much for me BUT oh my gawd i had SO MUCH FUN with each episode, i laughed SO much and i am very much looking forward to the rest of it

Cherry Magic - TayNew back again together. Karan and his gorgeous existence. Loved the og. The trope where one believes they are hard to love & someone who loves them like it’s breathing- its literally made for this show and i am SUPER excited where it goes. PLS PLS PLS let them keep the aroace character aroace PLEASE!?!?!?

[lazzarella]

Going to try to start posting more of my thoughts on shows as I watch or re-watch them because it's my blog and no one can stop me. Anyway! Starting with Hidden Agenda because that's the most recent one I've finished

My expectations were tempered going in—not because most other people said it was terrible, because I've learnt not to put much stock in others' opinions on media as they often don't line up with mine, but because I didn't care much for JoongDunk's scenes in Sky in My Heart. (Tbf, there weren’t that many.) But I liked the premise (it very vaguely made me think of one of my favourite movies, Plan B, even though it's actually nothing like it—just a connection my brain made) and I saw that AouBoom were the side pairing, so I figured I'd give it a go! Not like I'm marrying it, you know?

Anyway, I ended up having a blast! 

Look, did I sometimes wonder if I'd blacked out for a minute or two and missed some important scene or piece of exposition because I was lost about how we got somewhere? A few times, for sure. And could some of the acting have been stronger? Probably, but I've seen way worse acting. Like way worse. Way. Worse. Plus it was never unwatchable for me? And my secondhand embarrassment threshold is pretty low. And did it just pile on a bunch of drama (especially toward the end) that sometimes got resolved super quickly even though it probably should have taken longer? Again, yes. But, somehow, it all worked for me?? It did a lot of things that usually bug me, but there was *something* about this show that kept me hooked.

Like I said, I had a blast! I enjoyed pretty much every minute of it, and I was never bored. I thought Joong and Dunk were super cute together and definitely not shy about the kissing, Aou and Boom may not have had many scenes but I just love them together, I was impressed by both the level and variety of drama they managed to pack in (there's a stalker and both mommy and daddy issues and homophobia, just for starters), and it has some incredibly pretty cinematography! And lots of really good hugs!

I know this is a not a very insightful ‘review’, but I'm a little rusty! But, yeah, genuinely had a great time with this show, it's a solid 8/10 for me! 

[airenyah]

Your essay on Joong's underrated acting skills deepened my Joong appreciation so much, that I watched Mafia the Series, I'm watching Ploy's Yearbook (even though there is a serious lack of Joong so far), and I'm planning on watching The Warp Effect too. I haven't watched het shows in over ten years, so this is a big deal! 😂 I really liked him with Dunk in their shows, but MTS gave me another facet of him, because he's so timid in it, unlike in SIMM and HA, where he's (seemingly) very cool and in control. So thank you for making me a full time Joong (and Dunk) girl 💜

i saw this message first thing in the morning when i woke up yesterday and it instantly put me in a good mood!!! <3

YESSSSSS I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT

mafia the series might actually be my absolute fave thai het-show, it's just SO funny!!!! and the entire cast is so great, like, not just joong but the entire cast plays off each other SO well. and don't even get me started on gina virahya and her portrayal of anna kondra!!!!

you know, when i went into mafia the series i saw the poster and was like "ughh i really am gonna have to sit through this standard (overly) dramatic mafia show just for joong, huh. the things i do for my boy..." and then. AND THEN. you can imagine my surprise. i was crying tears of laughter throughout the show and i was actually laughing so hard that my mom made a comment about how she could hear my laugh in my room

beam is my loser boy and joong portrays him in such an adorably awkward way, i love it <333

and yes there IS a serious lack of joong in ploy's yearbook so far :((((

it was quite funny tho bc in the one scene where joong does show up i immediately recognized him by the back of his head, like!! i saw this:

and instantly went "OH there's my boy!!!!!" 😂😂😂

and i can't wait to see him with film bc film did extremely well with gun in not me and i feel like film and joong will also work together really well

you know, i'm always happy to turn people into full time joong (and dunk) girls!!!!!!

i've adored them ever since simm which i watched live from ep2 onwards. fun fact, actually: when i started simm i actually had no idea who they were (even though technically i'd seen dunk in bad buddy already, except i wasn't paying attention to the random high school bandmates and so i didn't actually recognize dunk and only realized later on ahahah)

aaaanyway, i had no idea who they were, right? and so in 2022 my mom and i spent two nights in prague during easter and in the evening we were in our hotel room and we were kinda looking for something to watch. and i was like "hey look, gmmtv has a new bl out and it looks kinda cute and fluffy judging by the thumbnails?? and like something that doesn't require too much brain power?? plus, there's also only two eps out so far, so we'll be caught up right away" and so we watched the first two episodes and then the two of us ended up watching every new ep together every week hahaha

i actually didn't really talk about it on tumblr back then and when you go back on my blog you'll see that there are hardly any simm post. but really, with every new simm episode that aired i liked joongdunk more and more. and especially once the characters started dating i was actually so in awe about just how comfortable joong and dunk were with each other and how they absolutely weren't afraid to touch? like, their physical affection was just so casual, like it was the most natural thing in the world to them in an "i'm-not-even-thinking-about-it-bc-it's-so-normal" kind of way and that was just soooo refreshing to watch?? i was (and still am) truly amazed

and when just a couple of months later, at the end of 2022 gmmtv announced joongdunk were gonna get another show together i got SO excited!! and also when it was revealed that simm was included in our skyy 2!!!!

and then hidden agenda started airing and then i was tagged in that tag game and then i went to watch joong's entire filmography and then i ended up falling into a joongdunk rabbit hole and here we are...

anyway, i have multiple agendas and one of them is turning people into joong fans and dunk fans and joongdunk fans sllksdfd

and my other agenda is getting people to watch mafia the series, bc it's truly a gem of a show!!!!

(speaking of agendas: the only thing that's missing in your message is you telling me that you approve of my fight for a sexy joongdunk vampire bl, like... that would have made the message and the influence of my joong/dunk/joongdunk blogging complete 😂😂😂)

[readingadream]

Be The Light

Chapter 6

wc: 2340

5 | 6 | 7

Master

San POV

Watching Wooyoung learn to fight was how I spent most of my days lately, or he and I would train together. Honestly he was improving fast, learning the ropes rather quick. Seonghwa had learned the president would be making an appearance at a local homeless shelter so Hongjoong, Mingi and Seonghwa had been making plans, wanting to keep Wooyoung out of most of this due to him quickly becoming known to the public eye. In 3 weeks he’d already been contacted by multiple companies to model for, and of course I was with him doing everything so even I couldn’t do anything crazy.

The plan for Wooyoung and I was rather easy, we had to make a statement without bringing the attention fully to us. Wooyoung had the idea of our outfits being customized, writing ‘New World’ and ‘It’s time to wake up’ Something that would mock the president who was running for a second trimester. President Park was always mentioning how he’d change so much but in the years that have passed there hasn’t been any good outcomes. Homeless citizens had increased by about 32%, female workers were taking a loss at how much they earned. People with money were getting away with so much, police accepting bribes, so was the court and even government officials. Everything was corrupt.

Seonghwa and Joong liked the idea, especially because the younger generation would most likely focus on us even being there. According to Seonghwa it wasn’t unusual for those with media fame to attend these types of events because often they’d be paid by the president for the exposure. Though due to the fact Wooyoung and I were new to this we wouldn’t have an opportunity like that. Explaining that we would just need to go and pretend we were there in support of President Park.

Hongjoong was secretly crazy good at creating outfits, so he quickly went to work measuring us both before disappearing for a few days to work at his studio. For me the vision was a simple black blazer with inner red lining that would show the slogans Wooyoung had suggested. The outside would be simple besides a red embroidered red symbol that was seen as a sign of the ‘Rebels’ or as the President put ‘Resistence’ We used the hourglass as our signature usually.

No one knew the idea for Wooyoung yet though, Hongjoong said we would have to wait until the day of the event. Which was now 6 days away.

“I hope this goes smoothly Sannie, I’m so nervous about this. Sure we aren’t doing much but what if they try to arrest us for even having the symbol? The others are throwing fliers out with the propaganda from the roof right? What if they get caught too?” Wooyoung being so worried wasn’t that shocking to me, I’d wondered similar things when I first joined the group.

Running my fingers through his hair I let out a small hum, “Trust me, everything will be okay. Plus we probably wont be the only group there doing something. A group called Stray Kids also are against president Park, though neither groups get along. We might believe in change for the greater good but honestly we’ve all been against each other for so long. Something had happened when the group was first forming but honestly Joong won't tell us anything.”

The fight between us was stupid, and had left a few people seriously hurt but for some damn reason Hongjoong and their leader Chan were always at each other's necks. The two were stupid, if we could work together as one then most likely things would have gone so much smoother.

Sitting up on the couch, Wooyoung looked at me with a small smile, “How about you and I go out? We’ve been stuck here for the last 2 weeks due to my training and the captain's planning. I think we should go get our hair done, maybe go eat chicken from the place you and I found when we got so drunk the first week I was here. Plus Hwa said we should post on social media more often, and do everything we can to get attention.”

“We should just date at that point instead of gay baiting to get all the attention.” I mumbled under my breath, but I think he had heard me cause I faintly heard the boy gasp. Was he against the idea? Or was it the fact I said it so bluntly? Who knew because he seemed to just pretend nothing was said. “Sure, let's get our jacket and shoes on. I’ll let Mingi know we are going out, he’s the only one home at the moment anyways besides us two.”

Seeing how happy Wooyoung was about going out made me realize just how often we rarely get to just do stuff outside of the group. His bright gummy like smile, the squinty eyes but there was so much happiness behind them. Grabbing the keys to my car, I reached to grab his hand and lead him outside.

Since we first met, and started to do photoshoots together our bond had gotten a lot closer. Mingi and Yunho would give us shit, teasing that we were dating or that us two were soulmates. Woo would always blush and flip them off, telling them that they were just as bad as a married couple. Which wasn’t wrong. Those two really do bicker that bad.

“So food first? Then we can see if the Salon has any openings. Probably should have made an appointment though. Though if they are booked I know one more place, they usually only do idols, actors/actresses and models so they shouldn't be as busy.”

“Yeah I’m hungry so that sounds good. Hwa had me studying some random crap this morning so I skipped eating. I hate maps, yet he and Hongjoon have been up my ass to memorize how to get around the event in 2 days. I don’t understand, if I wont be in danger then why do they want me knowing everything? Wouldn’t it be better to know nothing so no one would suspect that I’m involved with the rebellion?”

“To be honest it would be best to know everything Woo, mostly because we never know when or if something goes wrong. There have been times… things went wrong and a few of us got hurt. Joong won’t talk about it though so don’t ask about what happened. As for Hwa, I’ll see if he will give you a break.” Glancing over to the other I noticed how he picked at his fingernails, definitely nervous about the next few days coming up.

“I should try to convince Hongjoong to let us leave more often to do things besides work.” I finally spoke again after a few minutes of awkward silence.

“That would be nice, I miss going out and Changbin has been asking me to meet up with him, I’ve been lying to him but now he knows I’m modeling. Yesterday he told me that he was half tempted to show up to one of the photoshoots if I keep blowing him off.” Of course he would be giving Wooyoung such a hard time about them not talking much. Those two were basically inseparable for so long that being apart longer than a month probably felt like decades.

Changbin wasn’t a bad guy, most of the time that is. Changbin was always the caring one that acted tough, but just by looking at the dude it was easy to tell that no matter what he'd risk everything for ones he cared for most.

The drive went smooth, we sat there in comfortable silence and just enjoyed the music playing. I’d look over to see Wooyoung doing small dances while the song was playing. There was still so much we didn’t know about each other but yet at times I knew too much because I was always watching over him, basically acting like his shadow. Pukking into the parking lot of my favorite chicken place I glanced over at him to see more of a confused expression, looking over I noticed why, there was Changbin and it looked like Chris as well as Han.

“Who is that with Changbin?” I pretended that I didn’t know who they were for the sake of Wooyoung not knowing we all knew each other.

Tilting his head to the side he scrunched his eyebrows together. “I think that is Han and Bangchan? Well he goes by Chris usually according to Binnie. I’ve never personally met them but he talks about them often. Apparently they work together at Bhang Entertainment which is owned by Chris. Though the 3 all produce together which is pretty cool.”

Getting out of the car I was quick to notice them looking back at us, Han leaning over to Changbin whispering something into his ear and watching as he nodded his head at whatever was said. I watched as the 3 boys smiled, Changbin waving at Wooyoung shouting for him to come over to meet his friends. Completely ignoring the fact I’d been standing right next to him. What an asshole.

Following Woo, I noticed his smile and relaxed as he hugged his best friend. Completely unaware of the fact Han and Chris were both glaring at me. God, I wish I could have just punched them right there. “My baby Wooyoungie! Finally I get to see that handsome face of yours! This is Bangchan also known as Chris, and Jisung but we all just call him Han. I work with them-“

”I remember Binnie, you talk about them so much that I wonder if you 3 are just all dating each other.” I noticed how he rolled his eyes towards his friend before turning his attention to the others. “Nice to finally meet you, this is San. Him and I work together… plus he’s my boyfriend.” I nearly choked on air at the last part. The fuck was Wooyoung up to? Did he want my ass to get beat by his best friend? Cause I promise if looks could kill Changbin would of killed me 100 different ways. Well guess I need to play along right?

Wrapping my arm around his waist I pulled the male closer, giving a fake smile towards the 3 of them. “Nice to meet you, especially Changbin. My sweet Wooyoung has mentioned a lot about you, how you two lived together, how you made him cry when he moved in with my friends and I… Guess you can be a real asshole to those you care about?”

“San-“

”Funny, Wooyoung never mentioned you to me-“

”Changbin, stop lying cause we both know I have. I mentioned him often… just not that we were dating since that happened a few days ago.” Watching as Wooyoung stepped in front of us both. Though Changbin wasn’t done with me yet and that was clear just. Looking at his face.

”I’m surprised Wooyoung would date the perso-“ I quickly cut him off.

“Shut up, he doesn’t know or need to know.” Saying this made Wooyoung quickly turn his head to look at me with clean confusion. Fuck what do I do or say. Looking at the 3 behind him I knew Changbin wanted to finish what he wanted to say but I wasn’t about to let that happen.

Clearing his throat I looked to Wooyoung, “What do I not know about San?”

Fuck. Come on San think. “Oh, well, I’ve actually met Changbin but it was rather brief. Back in the days we ran into each other sometimes at the gym. He almost died when a weight fell on him but I believe Han was there to save him? Apologies I don’t remember clearly.”

“Liar. Wooyoung, remember the day I came home? That night that I was covered in blood? That was because of him and his friends Woo. They aren’t good people at all, fuck that’s why I was so mad at you when you first told me. Though it seems Ateez wanted to protect their precious treasure that would help them move forward to success.” Changbin's evil smile made my blood boil. Why would he ruin this for me? Besides the fact I nearly killed him.

Wooyoung blinked for a moment, looking between us all. Wooyoung was smart, so there was no doubt that he finally was connecting the dots. “You… you knew him the whole time?! All of them knew?! Yet you all lied to my face?” Shoving me away I noticed him shaking and trying to hold back his tears. “I trusted you! I trusted all of you.” Looking at Changbin he pointed his finger towards him. “You too! You fucking liar! Why didn’t you tell me the night I told you Changbin?! Huh?! WHY! Don’t trust your best fucking friend? Or have I been replaced by the members of Stray Kids? Yeah I know all about the fucking group because Hongjoong made me learn. Though they always kept your name out of it.”

Changbin winced, the look of regret clear as day displayed on his face. “Woo, I didn’t want you involved with what we do… It’s why I never said anything until now.”

”I hate you both! Both of you just leave me alone. I never want to see either of you again.” Fuck, this isn’t what I wanted to happen. I reach out to grab his shoulder but he quickly moved from me.

Wooyoung looked me in the eyes before he spoke one last thing before running off. “To think I was actually falling for you. Apparently I shouldn’t trust someone who treats me nice. We are done San, I’m done with the group too. Keep my shit, just stay out of my life.”

I could never stay away from him. There was more he didn’t know. He could hate me all he wanted, but I’d always be near to protect him from harm's way.

[avorbl]

Avor's Watchlist for weeks 46 + 47

Winter seemingly started early around here. So I need these shows to brighten up fast because freezing temperatures and late fall darkness are depressing enough on their own.

Currently Airing

Jack & Joker: U Steal My Heart! 11/12 There are some good parts in every episode so I still put them on but most of the episode gets skipped

Love is Like a Poison 10/10

Love Sick 2024 11/15 The series has arrived at the couple era for the main and secondary couples and is moving into the struggles before the end. As was to be expected with such a big cast not all of the stories get the consistent attention to make it a wholly satisfying watch.

Fourever You 8/16 The Bas Maxky story is not working for me and if it wasnt for Ngern Pond and Earth Cooheart I would have dropped this already.

Usotoki Rhetoric 6/10 I love this exploration of what a lie is. Especially since the parameters for the poor gentleman detective comedy have become more established

Light of my Lion 6/11 Its getting deeper and deeper into the definition of family

See Your Love 6/13 The mutual appreciation and the resulting motivation make this a standout feel good show.

Blue Canvas of Youthful Days 10/12 Gettingthe promise of a separation and the finalisation for Tan and Liu makes a heartbreaking last act for Xiao and Lu more likely. All being made easier by the youthfullness and care that they show in their interactions.

Bad to Bed 4/10 The weekly look at queer life or queer issues makes this a community building project. I am not sure if it has an overarching narrative.

Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan 4/10

Our Youth / Miseinen 3/11 Technically and storywise the most enganging right now.

The Nipple Talk 6/10 A more story focused look at queer life and the biases we all carry aound

Fragrance you inherit 3/8 This is building up some layers. I am interested to see how they going to contrast mother and son finding themselves

Caged Again 3/10 This is fun it gives child detective/adventure novel vibes although the rating seems to say there is a bit more in store here

Your Sky 2/12 I am enjoying the dynamic but I am not sure its enough setup to last twelve episodes

The Heart Killers 1/12 There is an excuse of a plot but most of it seems to be situational. Expressionless Joong doesnt do it for me though.

What I am catching up on

Unstoppable High Kick 28/167

The Princess Royal 27/40

Word of Honor 23/36

Fight for My Way 10/16

Playboyy 2/14

Kiss x Kiss x Kiss: Love ii Shower 1/

Still on my watch list

Sell Your Haunted House 5/16

I Feel You Linger in the Air 1/12

She and Her Perfect Husband 20/40

Fermat no Ryori 3/10

Blue Complex 10/?

Tengu no Daidokoro Season 2 2/10

Even if it's just a dream that I'll forget when I wake up 5/8

Stealing from My CEO 16/61

Buddy Boy 5/?

Finished in the last two weeks

Love in the Big City 13.11.24 10/10 A wonderful adaptation that while close to the book in its tweaks seems so much more hopeful and life-affirming.

Smells Like Green Spirit 14.11.24 9/10 Queer coming of age the decisions we make and how they affect us.

Eccentric Romance 14.11.24 6/10 Relies on the murder for the plot but doesnt take it seriously. Which means that it is easy to watch but lacks any kind of impact.

My Best Boyfriend 15.11.24 6/10 They have good chemistry and a good story could have been built on that but it got bogged down by side plots presumably to keep the supporting cast engaged which means that this cliffhanger ending leaves a bad taste and does not really encourage the support the creator is asking for.

My Damn Business 16.11.24 8/10 Entertaining small production. Realising a office fantasy.

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave 21.11.24 8/10 Professionally done Surprisingly sweet Not much substance

Every You, Every Me 24.11.24 8,5/10 Having them go from shorter to longer series showing the progression of their careers and then going into them losing themselves in the job whilst maturing. I wish they would have gone for a more obvious overarching throughline I had fun in the different worlds though.

Dropped in the last two weeks

Kidnap 11/12 eps 15.11.24 5,5/10 I got too bored and barely made though episode 11. And when I tried the last episode it just seemed like a continuation.