#joking about the kms thing btw

[awstens-vagina]

being stefanie meyers in the 2000s mustve been crazy imagine being an mcr fan and writing an mcr-inspired vampire-themed series of novels that blows up and you invite mcr to put their music in the movies but they say no and write a whole song about how much they dont wanna be in your movies and gerard says he finds the main love interest you based on him to be creepy and insulting and also they star on yo gabba gabba instead. wouldve killed myself

[snixx]

honestly as a neurodivergent person it annoys me more when people say kms over the most insignificant things than when they use my disorder an a quirky expression to be dramatic. they're essentially the same thing to me

[suzakus-canon-wife]

Everyone is so fucking mean to Kabru, I’m gonna fucking kms

[castleofclouds]

ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ Nct Dream Alternative Universe OT7.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ pairings ; ot7 × reader (yn)

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ disclaimer ; fiction, cursing, 18+ content, kms joke and many more.

Story are by © castleofclouds, do not copy or repost without watermark!

‧₊˚ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ࣪﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪sumarry : your life was peaceful until your stupid friends start giving you ideas of making thread about ur exes, stirring a whole new problems for you, suddenly one by one of your past start running back to you and opening old books of you and them, how do you act in this situation?

genre : gotta be fluff! texts (sometimes smau) angsty, slowburn, romance, humor, mention of 18+ content.

tag : @bluedbliss @luvandletter @1daily2lele7

To All The Boys I've Dated : Jar Of Cookies

You felt like God was playing a a games on you, to see how you will react if suddenly people you have lost suddenly visit you again, this time for quite a long time.

There he was, standing on your door with a jar full of cookies on his hands, his blonde hair glowing under the lamp light, his eyes twinkle, catching your presence as he processed.

“Yn? You lived next door?” He repeats.

How can, one of your exes showed up again, he changed his hair but you knew that face, that smile lines, that crease on his eyes, everything, he looks astonishing especially under the basketball ring, you knew this scent. Your favorite scent.

Chenle, he is here.

“Oh.. Uh, hi? Umm.. Yeah, it's.. Uhh,” you stutter, how can you act on this situation? Your ex, one of from the many you wish you can just run back to, can you even look at him? See him? You both broke up quite long time ago, and the break up was different than Renjun, Chenle was nothing but sweet to you. No drama, no argument, just ended.

You swear you could see him smiling on the corner of your eyes, as he looks at you as if he is an angel.

“Btw, we are neighbors now. I hope we can get along pretty well from now on, please take care of me Yn.” He beamed, as he walked back to his unit like nothing happened.

How? How can he be here?

You fell down to your knees at your doorstep, today was really something you never expected in 30 years. How can today be this unpredictable?

You sigh, opening your phone you don't know who to reach, you can't believe you will do this but you open one of your friends chat box. Yangyang were never your first go to when in need of privacy talks, reason number one, he yapped too much, reason number two, he had a nosy attitude, number three, he is annoying.

But you need someone to calm you down, and yangyang was the only first person that came into your head as you start searching for his number.

You dialed him up, and thank God he is picking it up, he asked what happened and after a long yapped he didn't spend any minute and just went straight to your house, on this day you started to wonder if he is actually a good person that mistaken a lot or he is just a pervert that love to tease anybody around him.

He came knocking at your door, as soon as you saw him you hugged him tight and never let go.

Well despite his characters you tell almost every secret you own to yangyang, he yapped too much but hey the guy knows how to attend to your need, across from karina he knew different way to calm you down, he didn't asked you anything until you volunteers to do it yourself, and yangyang knew alot about Chenle case the most.

Chenle case was different than any exes you had throughout your life, he is the one you wished to back to you the most, you wish so many things for him, you manifested him a lot, and now he is here you are trembling and doesn't know how to act, is that even appropriate to do? What if he actually knows you as one of his exes, and that's it?

You think too much, as yangyang wrapped you in a blanket and let you take a nap, you fell asleep quickly due to the headache of crying.

As soon as you wake up you saw your phone were full of chat messages from your chat group you open to see yangyang take a picture of you sleeping and karina and winter was not having it.

They were cussing and shocked, that you laughed at it, you feel sad that you couldn't tell your friends karina and minmin (winter) about your problems, but you bet soon or later they will knew and understood why you called for yangyang here.

When yangyang found you already laughing and giggling at the phone he knew you saw his texts and get closer.

“Like what you see?” he teased. You giggled and throw the blanket at his face, “This is the time where you only look kind, tomorrow morning you will asking me to be your alpha mate.” you joked, he shrugged and laughed it away.

“Well I prefer to be an omega than an alpha, suck to be you ig?” he shake his head, after a few minutes the laughter finally stopped as you take a quick breath, he looks at you as he rubbed your back, helping you to calm down.

“Feel better now?” he asked with worries, you nodded away, “Yes, totally.” you answer he sighed.

“Then that's good, gosh how can suddenly Chenle just knocked on your door like that?” he bring the subject after making sure you didn't mind to talk about it, you think twice before answering, “I don't know how suddenly both of my exes showed up in my life again,” you respond his mouth wide open, “What do you mean by two?!” he gagged.

“Renjun showed up too, he is the guy that brings me to the hospital yesterday and paid for my medicine.” you explained, he shocked putting one hand on his mouth.

“That guy that broke up on you just because he is a jealous jerks?” he affirms, you shushed him down, “He isn't jealous, we just had an intense fight.” you claimed.

“Intense fight? Be for real right now, he is a jealous jerks, he always jealous by your first boyfriend, and always trauma dumping on you.” yangyang didn't hold back, but you held him down.

“Yang, he isn't that bad, he just had a rough relationship with his parents that he kinda become protective.. But yeah, otherwise he is still a jerks.” you continue nonetheless.

While both of you talks about how your exes were pain is the ass, you heard a knock on your door, you get on your feet and walk to the front door opening it to find karina and winter at your doorstep, they bring a lot of stuff.

“Oh my, what happened? I came as soon as I see those weird text from yangyang,” you could tell from karina sweat crop top and her messy hair, while winter on the other hand was taking a breathe as if she just finished a whole marathon.

“Oh my, my babiess! I'm fine babe, just had some talks with yangyang, wanna come in?” you open the door wide enough for the to join inside.

Yangyang smiles at them, “Yall were late to the party.” he teased Winter eyed him with distaste, “You didn't do weird things to my girl don't you?” yangyang put one hand on his chest and gasped.

“How can you think that lowly of me!” he gasped, being dramatic as usual, Winter sees him and decided to drop the case, she knew he would be unstoppable if she gives him stage, that man will make a musicals.

As you had fun on your chit chat, you didn't notice you had a text message from someone. Who could it be? It's seems like someone you knew?

Previous, Masterlist, Next.

A/N

Back againn after quite a time, actually kinda wanted to write the next part already but kinda stuck which scenarios I should make next, and stuff gosh, but because I'm in the good mood today so I think you deserve to read the next part for this story, how do we think? I don't know when will you read this post tbh, but I hope it's on the morning because that way I can cheer you to do your routine today ^^ btw next part gonna focus more on other ex so be sure to stay tuned!

[bayfuzzball7050]

SIEMPRE SE PUEDE PEDIR TRADUCCIÓN‼️‼️‼️

INTRODUCTION POST AND RULES 🔥🔥🦾🦾🦾🦈🦈

(Edit— 23/09/2024) I kinda got excited writing this ☠️

There’s like a worrying amount of text. I’m not sure everyone can gut how much I wrote 😭😭

But here are like the basics of my blog:

The name’s Andrés or Diego. Call me whatever ya want, idc

I’m a Trans Guy, he / him and if you don’t know me a they / them it’s ok I don’t mind that much. NO SHE HER IMMA BEAT UR ASS

☆ I got that dawg in me (asd) actually pls be patient im a little slow on some things

☆ Artist — I mostly make jjba fanart (currently insane about it)

☆ Art requests are currently open!!

I draw anything but nsfw/kinks, complex backgrounds, Steven universe art and proship stuff

☆ Writer (no fanfic here tho)

☆ don’t ask for pics you ain’t getting em

☆ if I use emojis, be aware that most of the time it’s ironic

☆ I make a lot of kys/kms jokes, if you’re not ok with this, please don’t follow

☆ i LOVE spammers, spam likes, reblogs, whatever as much as you like :3 (if ya want to like no pressure)

☆ if ya wanna be mutuals just ask I don’t mind I’ll just check yo vibe and that’s it

Art tag: #my art

Post tag/reblogs where I add something: #momazos diego

Quality posts tag (aka when I think): #chamber of reflection (reflexionando en la chamba)

oc masterpost

brushes I use

BY THE WAY!!

☆ I usually don’t add tw (tho I dont post stuff with heavy themes often if I’m honest like I rarely do it) But if anything, be wary

☆ I also always have my notifications off so please don’t feel bad if I don’t answer a dm or anything of the sort

☆ please excuse me if I reblog/like artists who are proshippers, I don’t tend to check blogs before interacting🧍🏽(I’ve gotten myself blocked many times because of this)

☆ also like if they problematic in general like idk if maybe someone I reblogged has been in a big ahh controversy or summ so uhhh forgive me

☆ dni and fandoms im in below the cut

☆ more info abt me and my blog under the cut :P ☆

So, I think imma make(try) a dni list but ik it’s ultimately useless cuz like I can’t force ya and im not your dad plus I’m too lazy to look through every blog that reblogs or likes but uh blocklist ig???

It’s just basic dni criteria, but like if ya wanna read ig?

SHIT THAT GETS YA BLOCKED ‼️‼️

(some of these are oddly specific)

☆ zionists, racists, homophobes, ace exclusionists/phobes, antisemits (guess that’s how you say it???), conservatives, Proshippers, Comshippers, anti-anti’s and profiction mfs, LOL1C0NS AND SHOTAC0NS (KYS…NOWW)Transphobes / TERFS, SWERFS, and radfems, Transmeds/Truscums/anti-MOGAI mfs, Transid, “Transabled”, "transracial", Radqueers in general, NSFW agere blogs (SFW agere it’s cool I don’t mind), pedos/MAPS (I want you hanging on the STREET), Paraphilics in general, Misgendering kink blogs, kink blogs in general actually ☠️, Pro-ANA or Pro-MIA

☆ swifties.

Exceptions and specifics:

☆ I think Selfshippers / yumeshippers are cool thus they aren’t hurting anyone most of the time AND ALSO! people tend to think that transid has therians in it and no, I think therians, kinnies and fictives are cool

To be honest I don’t check the blogs of most people who reblog or like but- Ricky…Ricky when I catch you Ricky-

(I mostly notice when I get followed but uh- anyway 😻)

THIN ICE:

☆ Giomis shippers

Why? Cuz not all of them are proshippers but a vast majority is and giomis kinda weirds me out💀ik the age gap small but still it’s kinda….

��� dsmp fans

As much as I enjoy the Fanart and maybe the roleplay was interesting I have like personal beef with the fanbase and creators

☆ Hannibal Fans

The franchise is fire but I also have beef with Hannibal fans cuz for some reason most of them proshippers

☆ MHA fans for the same reason as Hannibal fans

☆ Same with South Park

☆ Same goes for Homestuck fans

☆ Same goes for Steven Universe fans. It’s mid btw

☆ ONE PIECE fans, y’all didn’t do anything wrong it’s just that I haven’t caught up with the show 😭😭

☆ NSFW blogs (as in porn/smut)

ANYWAY

Languages I speak:

☆ Spanish (mother language)

☆ English

☆ A tiny bit of Italian

FANDOMS IM IN (but I forget sometimes 😿)

☆ JJBA (what I post about mostly (going insane over this))

☆ Yakuza (I haven’t finished 0 yet)

☆ Brawl Stars (slowly losing my mind over it)

☆ WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

☆ LOST MEDIA. (Believe it or not, im also going insane over this.)

☆ Berserk

☆ Mouthwashing

☆ Madoka Magica

☆ ikigusare (best virtual girl band ever fr fr)

☆ Gorillaz

☆ Good Omens

☆ Moral Orel

☆ Dorohedoro

☆ My Little Pony

☆ Sonic fandom

☆ Undertale / Deltarune

☆ Breaking Bad / Better Call Saul

☆ El Cuarteto De Nos

☆ Azumanga Dioh!

☆ Vocaloid

☆ Project Sekai

☆ D4DJ

☆ Food Fantasy

☆ FNAF (grrrr I love fnaf,,)

☆ Emo / Scene / Scemo (I just don’t have money for clothes nor the patience to make a blog only for that 😭😭)

☆ actually like another shit ton more but I can’t remember 😔

Socials:

☆ Reddit u/BayFuzzball7050 (old account, permanently banned)

☆ Reddit u/BayFuzzball404 (Current Account)

☆ ofc Tumblr

☆ Wattpad and AO3 but we ain’t talking about that 🤫🧏‍♂️

☆ @bayfuzzball7050-art is my art blog (reblogs from here)

☆ …

☆ also I might or might not have a questionable side art blog (collect my shitposts)

☆ ALSO! opened a Pixiv :3

☆ I HAVE AN ARTFIGHT!

☆ Bluesky

Dis me btw

[jaslan4f1]

Love at 300 km/h Part 3

Masterlist

Warnings: friends to lover kinda thing, fluff & angst

Notes: english is not my native language so this may contain consistency errors, i would really appreciate the corrections but please, be kind. feedback is also appreciated ♡

Summary: You and Lando are close but neither of you tried being more than friends. What happens when you both finally realize that love is right infront of you?

As the plane landed all Lando could think about was asking about the Pierre situation. He wanted to hear it from you. He wanted to know the truth. He took out his phone and started texting you.

Lando: Can I come over, just landed btw?

Y/N: Sure thing. See you soon :)

After 30 minutes you heard a knock on your apartment. You opened the door and saw an exhausted version of Lando. “Hey come on in“ you said and made space so that he could pass you. You closed the door and followed Lando into your tiny living room. You looked at him and saw that he wanted to say something. “Look Y/n I wanna be honest with you.“ Lando begin speaking and both of you said on your couch. “If we’re going to cross that line and risk our friendship I want that we know everything about each other. No secrets, okay?“ you looked at him and nod. “Okay, because I can’t lose you, you are to important for me. I need you in my life. And I need to know the truth about you and Pierre“ he breathed out. Your eyes grew wide and you stopped breathing. Pierre how the hell did he know about Pierre? “Lando how did you“ you started “Does it matter? Y/n my heart calls your name, if I’m not near you its hard for me to breath but for god sake I need to know what happened with him and you.“ he shouted.

> 4 month ago <

Lando, the F1 grid and you were in a club and celebrated the end of the weekend. Lando was djing and you were on the dance floor enjoying yourself. You danced with Daniel and joked with him about Lando. “Yeah I don’t know why he did it.“ you shouted in his ear because of the loud music. Suddenly you felt someone tap your shoulder. You turned around. “Piiiieeeerrrreee Gaaaaassssllllyyy“ you and Daniel screamed. Pierre laughed and leaned in “Can I get you a drink?“. You accepted Pierres offer and drank many shoots with him. All you could remember was waking up in his hotel room, in his bed, naked. “Fuck“ you commented. A voice from the bathroom ended your thoughts how you ended up here and with who. “That’s exactly what we did“ he laughed. You slept with Pierre Gasly, shit. You both agreed to pretend that it never happened. 1 month later you were at a club in Monaco and Lando couldn’t come and pick you up. So you called Pierre because no one else picked up. After he brought you home you invited him in and one thing lead to another. Pierre and you agreed to become friends with benefits because you actually enjoyed speaking with him and the sex with him was just a bonus. After a while you realised that your feelings for Lando were becoming stronger so you ended it. Both of you agreed that you were better of as friends and that you that there where no feelings involved. That’s what you thought because Pierre actually had involved feelings for you.

> back to present <

“Y/n did you fuck Pierre? Talk to me“ he whispered. Tears stared forming in your eyes. “Fuck yes I did. And I know that you both don’t get along that well and I know I probably ruined it between us. I am just a human I make mistakes to Lando ok! I ended it because…“ you stopped. “Because of what?“ You stood up and stopped looking into his eyes. “Because of what Y/N?“ He asked again. You turned to him and looked at him. You opened your mouth and closed it again. “Y/n I swear to god. Because of what“ he raised his voice. You remained silent. “If you don’t talk then I will walk out of that door“ he stood up and walked to your front door. Lando was just seconds away from opening the door. “Because I have hella feelings for you and I’m only a fool for you“ you cried out. Lando turned around, looked at you and then walked to you and crashed his lips on yours. The kiss was far away from what you imagined it to be, but in a positive way. Feeling his soft lips on your was magically. After a few seconds you stopped kissing him. “I will tell you everything but you must know that I never had feelings for him. You’re the one that my heart wants since it saw you.“ You whispered and laid your forehead on his. Lando had mixed feelings. Lando adored you, he loved kissing you. Of course he believed you but he didn’t trusted Pierre and his actions. What if he still wanted you, would you choose him? But at the same time Lando was sad that you weren’t honest with him.

[stolenslumber]

hang your head low in the glow (pjs)

In this moment, you’re glad that you’re anchored in his lap, because otherwise you think you might float away into the night sky, on your way to join the stars in the cosmos. Jay is so crushingly sweet; sometimes, you just don’t know what to do with the weight of all his sincerity. For now, you settle for a fervent, “I like you so much.”

OR: A selection of moments in between the parentheses at the end of devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (some things may not make sense without reading that first, but it's up to you!).

PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader GENRE: established relationship, fwp (fluff without plot), no like seriously this is just straight up fluff and romance and making out with scant narrative WARNINGS: swearing, kms/kys jokes, kissing and suggestive content/sexual themes WORD COUNT: 10k (derogatory)

to all the boys i’ve fake-dated before (you, jay, sunghoon, yeonjun, chan, vernon, mark, and 5 others)

jay: peace out losers (except for my REAL gf whom i adore and cherish)

*jay has left the chat*

sunghoon: omfg no way???? jay bitchless era no more?

you: are u calling me a bitch

sunghoon: NOOOO i would never haha btw do u still talk to my sister

you: yeah

sunghoon: right so i’m just ur humble liege

chan: congrats, you two! well i guess jay can’t see this

you: i will accept your congratulations on his behalf :DD i’m really happy you guys 

mark: stop i’ll cry

vernon: no rly i’m next to him rn and he’s tearing up

mark: they deserve it so much!!! after everything i put them through 

you: excuse me it was mostly me

you: all jay did was orchestrate an elaborate scheme to get you and mina together (okay so he did a lot)

you: but we ALL participated

you: and i had to pretend to DATE you

mark: only for like two hours!!!!

yeonjun: wait this reminds me i’ve always wanted to know what ur ranking of us as fake bfs would be

you: in first place: park jongseong

yeonjun: and then?

yeonjun: hello??????

“Can I ask you something?”

Jay turns his head to you. “Of course, baby.”

Baby. Hearing it still makes you all silly and giddy, though it’s been four days since you started dating him for real and hearing it all the time. Baby, doll, Cinderella, mine. He sure has a way with words. You clear your throat, hoping that your voice won’t crack when you say, “Why were you so weird about the fake-dating thing in the beginning?”

He makes a face at you. “What do you mean, weird? You’re telling me you thought I was weird about it, even after you had to endure Sunghoon?”

“Sunghoon was just awkward. Really awkward, but still. You stalked me to my front door—”

“Your front door is, like, 90 seconds from mine.”

“— and walked with me to Nat’s at a glacial pace, while not saying a word. And then we talked for an hour about random stuff before you promised to help Mark with Mina, even though you weren’t sure you wanted my help. Why were you so weird about it all?”

“Pretty girls make me nervous?” He offers you a winning smile.

“Flattery won’t get you everywhere, Park Jongseong.”

“Yeah, but it’s getting me somewhere, isn’t it?” He rolls all the way over to hover above you and then dips so low that the pendant on his necklace swings in front of your face. The two of you had escaped the party in the frat’s basement after it had gotten too hot down there; Jay said he “knew a spot”, which made you laugh when it turned out to just be his bedroom. But then he pushed open his window and coaxed you out onto the flat roof, and that’s where you had settled on your back, gazing up at a cloudless sky, scattershot through with faint stars. 

Well, you were gazing up at the stars— now, Jay occupies your line of sight, and he’s all smiles and hearts in his eyes. It’s not an unwelcome substitute.

Your hand slips between your bodies so you can rub your fingers over the pendant on his necklace; you laugh when you realize what it is. “J as in Jay? Like T as in Troy?” 

He huffs, rolling off of you to sit back on his heels. “No, J as in Jopping. Yes, J as in Jay!”

You hold your hands up, still laughing as you sit up to face him. “Okay, okay, sorry! Didn’t realize my boyfriend was also a preppy high school girl.”

He rolls his eyes even as he pulls you into his lap. These days, he’s hopelessly afflicted with must-be-close-to-my-girlfriend syndrome. “I have layers, Cinderella. Like an onion.”

“... Are you paraphrasing Shrek?”

Jay flicks at the tip of your nose. “You know, it reveals just as much about you as it does about me that you caught the reference.” 

“You’re not helping yourself in the high school girl category,” you tease, but it’s all syrupy sweet fondness, punctuated by a playful tug at his reddening ear. 

He turns his head to kiss the inside of your wrist. “Do you want to hear my answer or not?”

You nod and straighten your spine with your hands folded neatly against your chest; the picture of propriety, if it weren’t for your legs straddling his waist as he leans back on his hands. “Yes, please.”

“I was… sussing you out, I guess. You know why I wanted to bring someone to my parents, but I couldn’t just bring anyone. I wanted to get to know you a little better, to see if you were someone I could actually see myself wanting to be with, because anything less would be a disservice to my parents. I didn’t want your help if I couldn’t confirm that you were the real thing. And then I saw how patient but also no-nonsense you were with Mark, and how quickly you were willing to help with a frankly crazy plan, and you just… felt right. You felt right to me; you felt like the real thing.” Jay blushes, ducking his head to avoid your gaze. Everything he said is true, of course, and he doesn’t regret telling you any of it, but saying it out loud like this makes his heart feel like it’s going to fall out of his chest.

In this moment, you’re glad that you’re anchored in his lap, because otherwise you think you might float away into the night sky, on your way to join the stars in the cosmos. Jay is so crushingly sweet; sometimes, you just don’t know what to do with the weight of all his sincerity. For now, you settle for a fervent, “I like you so much.”

Jay’s confidence comes back like a boomerang. He leans up and catches your hands in his, draping your arms around his neck before gliding his hands up and down your back. “Who’s flattering who, now?” 

You shrug. “Where’s it gonna get me, gorgeous?”

“Well, only because you called me gorgeous.” And then he’s kissing you, lush and lovely. 

Fall trickles into winter, and there are final exams and goodbyes to your friends before you and Jake leave on a two-week trip to see your family in Australia. You and Jay FaceTime almost every day; he complains about getting pasty staying indoors in the cold while you’re out tanning on white sand beaches. 

“Should I fly out there?” he muses one day close to the end of your trip. “You could be, I dunno, in danger! Because of the sun. No one to help you put sunscreen on your back… or check that you’ve applied enough on your legs… or your chest… It’s really important, you know. Skin cancer awareness.”

You laugh. “Thanks for the PSA, baby. I’m coming back in a few days, though, so I think I’ll be okay.”

Jay sighs mournfully. “I’m not. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” you confess. Living across the street from each other at school and seeing him in person almost every day for the past few months has spoiled you. 

“I miss you, too,” Jake mimics beside you. You’re in an Uber on the way to dinner with your parents, so you can’t commit much physical violence against him, but you do punch his shoulder.

Jay pipes up with, “Was that Jake’s voice I heard?”

You glare at your twin before popping out your earbuds to put the call on speakerphone. “Unfortunately.”

“Yo, what’s up, my man!” Jake cheers, shoving his face into view of the camera.

Jay and Jake chatter about some game they started playing with Heeseung, and you have to admit that you’re really happy about how well you and Jay have integrated into each other’s lives and communities. Of course, Jake had never been a big concern; secretly, you think he loves that his best friend is dating his sister. You’re two of his favorite people in the world, though he’ll only admit it when he’s four shots in. 

Soon, you approach the restaurant, and you have to say goodbye to Jay. He encourages you to keep sending videos of Jake falling into the ocean while surfing, which prompts a loud bout of complaining from Jake.

“You better not have shown that to anyone else,” Jake grumbles.

“Yunjin loved it,” you remark casually, just so you can laugh loudly when he jolts in his seat and turns to you with panicked eyes.

He whisper-shouts, “Why would you say that word? And why the fuck would you send it to her?” 

“What word— love? Oh my god, grow up. And she asked for updates on you.” Your eyebrows furrow. “I think she missed you, or something.”

“She did?” Jake beams; he’s entirely a different man now. “What else did she say about me?”

You point at him accusingly. “You have a lot of questions for someone who claims that they’re just buddies with my girl Jen. Which, again— grow up. Anyways, Jay, we have to go, but we’ll see you soon! Love you!”

“Love you, baby. And you, too, Jake,” Jay adds, before Jake can whine. 

A few days later, you’re finally reunited with Jay at the big New Year’s Eve party his family throws every year. The Parks always get to host the last party of the holiday season; you’re excited to experience it with Jay for the first time. 

An hour before the party is set to start, you let yourself into the Park estate and make your way surreptitiously to Jay’s room. His back is turned to you when you open the door slowly, and you stop for a moment to just drink in the sight of him, comfy and cozy in a cable-knit quarter zip sweater— the definition of huggable. Quickly, you sneak in and wrap your arms around his waist. “Hey, handsome.”

Jay cranes his neck around to look at you. “Hey! You’re here early.” 

You let go of him so he can turn around and hug you back properly. “Couldn’t wait to see you,” you confess. 

“Thank god.” He drops his head into the crook of your neck and inhales deeply. “Mm, the world is finally rightside up again.”

You laugh softly. “We are so dramatic.”

“Unavoidable for hot people,” Jay reasons. He pulls back up to wink at you; it’s so cheesy that you have to hold your hands up to his face to avoid looking at him. He laughs outright, and the return of that sound so close to your ears— as opposed to through the phone across an ocean— makes you smile uncontrollably wide.

“I really missed you,” you murmur. Finally, finally, he leans in and kisses you. It starts as something innocent and comforting, then quickly gets subsumed into fire and passion. You fist your hands into the collar of his sweater, hauling him closer to you with an enthusiasm that makes his fingers dig into your waist.

“Missed you so much. Missed this so much,” he says, right before sliding his tongue against yours. Soon, he transitions to sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, breathing a litany of love you, love you, love yous into you. The kiss is so deep it makes you go lightheaded, and when you separate for air, the sound of your mouth parting from his elicits a faint pop that makes you shudder. He’s considerate enough to back off briefly for you to catch your breath, though he doesn’t make it easy. “Pretty, so pretty,” he whispers against your cheek.

You have to close your eyes to calm yourself down. Right now, you think you could power a whole city with the desire that vibrates underneath your skin. “As much as I want to keep going,” you begin, already doomed with how hoarse your voice is, “I think you have to start getting ready.” The way your fingers pull at the zipper of his sweater is wholly unconvincing. 

He sighs and straightens up to rest his chin on the top of your head. “I should really learn how to reconfigure the time-space continuum. Time needs to stop when I’ve got my girl with me.”

You hum in agreement, curving around him slightly to scrape your teeth over the birthmark on his neck and grinning when he hisses into your ear. “You’re a smart guy; I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” you offer, continuing to tug at his zipper until you’re met with the end of the quarter zip. A frustrated sound escapes your throat at the obstacle.

“What’s your new year’s resolution?” Jay asks suddenly.

“What?” You blink hazy eyes at him; he has to pinch his own wrist behind your back to fight the urge to kiss you again.

“Just trying to kill the mood so I don’t go out there with a hard-on,” he explains, half bashful and half serious. “I have to make a speech, you know.”

“Thanks for coming, everyone! Hope you had a great last year, and here’s to an even better new year. There, speech done.” You withdraw your hands from his sweater to make jazz hands at him. “Wow, I’m such a speedy speechwriter! With all this extra time, we should keep going.”

“Brilliant,” he says dryly. “But you were right before; I do have to get ready.”

You frown and rest your cheek against his chest. “Past me was such a cockblock.”

Jay chuckles. “So, tell me, what is your new year’s resolution?”

Your eyes drift to the offending sweater in your peripheral vision. “Throw out all of your sweaters.”

“Very noble of you.”

“And get into grad school,” you say, more serious now.

“They’d be crazy not to take you for the Rhodes, baby.” Jay presses a final kiss to the top of your head. “I, um. I already asked to start in the London office of the company.”

You whip your head up so fast you almost give yourself whiplash. “Really?”

“Really. I want to be wherever you are.” He smiles so tenderly at you that your heart breaks and then mends itself back together in an instant; shattered and restored all at once by the strength of his devotion.

Sadly, there’s only so much time you can spend swooning at your boyfriend (Jay’s right; you do have to learn how to reconfigure the time-space continuum). He truly does have to give a speech soon, so he starts getting changed, pulling his sweater over his head and swearing when it gets stuck on the wire frame of his glasses. 

You laugh a little breathlessly at him, distracted by the strip of toned stomach revealed by his current position with his arms stuck above his head in his sweater. “My last new year’s resolution is to close the gyms,” you announce, finally moving into action to help him unspool the yarn of his sweater from his glasses.

“All of them?” His voice comes out muffled from inside his sweater before it’s over his head at last, and he’s shirtless in front of you. 

You drag your fingertips from the top of his waistband to the warm skin of his sternum. “Especially the ones you go to. You’re too tempting like this.”

He shivers at your touch but still manages to smirk when he says, “Just for you, doll.”

You groan. “Seriously, don’t call me that if you want to make it out there in time for your speech.”

“We should get rid of speeches, too,” he declares. He eyes the top of your fingers against his chest forlornly. “But I guess I’ll have to give the last one. Now, for real, tell me something extremely unsexy.”

You quip, “To help you get flaccid?”

He wrinkles his nose. “Excellent work; we’re headed in the right direction.” 

Your phone vibrates with a barrage of texts at that moment, which you check as Jay disappears into his walk-in closet to get dressed. It looks like your friends have arrived, and they’ve brought your outfit with them (you had come straight from the airport, dressed in leggings and a sweatshirt from high school). You tell Jay just as much, raising your voice slightly to be heard in the other room. “I’m gonna go get my stuff and change!”

He sticks his thumb out the door of the walk-in closet, pointing it upwards in assent. He assumes you saw it when he hears the door close, and then his phone goes off as well, inundated with a flood of texts from his newly arrived friends. 

hsm 3’s most underrated song: the boys are back (heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, jungwon, and sunoo)

jake: alright i have to k*ll myself

sunoo: why r u censoring all of a sudden

jake: i don’t want my fbi agent to take that seriously. although i do wanna kms

jungwon: why what happened

sunghoon: oh it’s HILARIOUS

jake: stfu

jake: so there’s eggnog being passed around right? and i see yunjin so i go to hand her a cup to be nice

heeseung: ~to be nice~

jake: kys

jake: anyways then i realize that the cup was really hot so i go and blow on her drink, like a fucking weirdo, and then i blow on SUNGHOON’S drink to make it seem less weird, except he’s drinking a HIGH NOON like an absolute idiot

sunghoon: hey i got the bartender to put it into a nice glass at least

sunoo: that’s my big (derogatory)

jay: perpetual bachelors jake and sunghoon! who’s surprised

sunghoon: NOT true i’m pretty sure the student government’s social media chair was flirting with me in the library before finals

jungwon: ??? wonyoung is a lesbian

jungwon: and she was just asking u to get out of the way bc u were spacing out in front of the printer

heeseung: L + me personally i’d kms

sunghoon: oh i know YOU are not talking

sunghoon: lee “the only time i feel the touch of a woman is when i go to yoga class at the university gym once a week” heeseung

heeseung: THE WOMAN WHO TEACHES IT IS HOT OKAY

sunghoon: oh heeseung mommy kink era?

heeseung: SHE IS MY AGE

sunoo: shouldn’t u be more concerned about breaking ur back every time ur there, grandpa?

heeseung: uncalled for wtf

heeseung: also tbh i wish SHE would break my back

jake: okay i’ve recovered from my earlier embarrassment. upon seeing what heeseung is texting, i’m thinking what i did wasn’t that weird

sunoo: bffr

jungwon: jake why don’t u just ask her out? instead of being emotionally constipated

jake: ew why would i ask her out i don’t want to be in a relationship that’s for pussies (respectfully) (i love women)

jungwon: yeah that’s definitely super emotionally mature of u

sunghoon: it’s 2023 pussy is a gender-neutral term

jay: you rly just say whatever the hell you want don’t you

sunoo: oh hey i see felix flirting with yunjin

jake: WHAT

jake: suddenly i have to go

sunoo: u r literally so pathetic

jay: btw i’m coming down now but if any of you see my gf before i do can you tell her she can change in my room

jake: gross

jay: GROW UP + stay single + kys

heeseung: GET HIS ASS

Jay’s idiot friends aside (he loves them so much), he actually is looking forward to seeing a bunch of his classmates and their families at tonight’s holiday party. Senior year seems to have crept up on him unannounced, and now he’s feeling slightly (a lot) sentimental about the idea of not living down the hall or at most across the campus from all the people who have made the last few years so formative (and entertaining as hell). 

He’s still thinking about how much he’s going to miss that place and those people when he hears your voice floating down from the top of the staircase. It sounds like you’re arguing with Kazuha about how many jello shots is too many for the after-party of the next phase of new member initiation at your sorority, which makes him chuckle quietly to himself. With four humanities and fine arts majors between the two of you, neither of you sound like you have the correct math. 

He opens his mouth, ready to give his two cents, but then he freezes at the sight of you descending the stairs. Vaguely, he processes the fact that Kazuha seems to have stopped arguing and even stopped coming down the stairs herself, just so she can give you two this moment.

This moment, which is making his brain short-circuit, because you are incandescent in a slinky, silvery dress that reflects all the candles that he’s now glad his parents made him light around the place. Countless points of light impart an otherworldly glow upon you, and you’re smiling at him; Jay thinks he must have saved the country in a past life.

When you reach him at the bottom of the stairs and he still hasn’t said anything, you tilt your head quizzically. “Jay? Everything alright?”

“You look like you just stepped out of a fairytale,” he breathes out. He moves on autopilot, bending at the waist as he takes your hand and kisses the top of it before straightening up to simply look at you some more.

“And right into the arms of my Prince Charming,” you respond, only half-joking. Right now, the dreamy look in his eyes makes you want to believe in happily ever after, as if it’s something he could forge with his own two hands. You kind of think he could, with the force of all his ardor.

Multiple phone cameras going off breaks the two of you out of your spell; you turn towards your nosy friends, who hold up variations of thumbs-ups and finger hearts. 

“Sorry, you guys are just too cute,” Yunjin says, not sounding sorry at all.

“Your parents would never forgive me if I didn’t get that on camera,” Sunghoon insists.

“Speaking of, I gotta go find them to make sure everything’s set.” Jay kisses your cheek. “See you later, Cinderella.” His fingers hold onto yours until the last second; your arm and his stretch out absurdly, as if you were parting for years, not minutes. 

“So dramatic,” Kazuha teases, joining you at the bottom of the staircase. 

“Unavoidable for hot people,” you explain wryly. You turn your attention to your gathered friends next. “I’m so glad you’re all here!”

“In 50 years, you could be hosting this party,” Sakura quips. Secretly, you hope it’s a lot sooner than that. 

“New Year’s Eve on Mars?” Jake suggests. 

Heeseung groans. “I’m scared of heights; can we not?”

“How many times do I have to tell you, dude, that’s not how space works!”

Half an hour passes happily like that, chatting and joking with some of your favorite people in the massive foyer. You don’t know exactly where Jay went off to, but the answer to that becomes clear when the music goes low and Jay clears his throat into the microphone set up at the front of the foyer. 

“Thanks for coming, everyone! Hope you had a great last year, and here’s to an even better new year.” Jay pauses to chuckle. “My girlfriend and I were joking earlier about me just saying that and calling it a night, but unfortunately for all of you, I am much more verbose than that.” Another pause for a light round of laughter from the gathered crowd. 

Jay works the audience like a pro as you watch with unbridled pride. A few minutes later, he winds down to the end of his prepared remarks, which you only know because he has asked you to proofread the speech weeks ago. You’re expecting him to wrap up with a final Happy New Year!, so you’re surprised to hear him keep going. 

“A couple of last things. To my parents, and everyone at the company, thank you for putting your trust in me.” Jay bows deeply. “I won’t let you down next year.” He straightens and looks right at you. “This year has been nothing short of wonderful. I’ve been so lucky my whole life, but the last few months have been particularly special to me. I’ve gotten to know people who I want to continue knowing for the rest of my life, who make me feel like my heart is too big for me, because I couldn’t possibly fit all of the kindness and love they give to me in the confines of my chest. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but I do know that my life would be bereft without it.” Jay has to tear his eyes from yours because he knows he’s liable to cry if he sees you do so. “Bereft without you,” he continues, sweeping his gaze across the foyer. “All of you, who I’m so glad to call my friends and family. So, please stay healthy and happy this year, and I hope the new year treats you as well as this year has treated me. Happy New Year, everyone!”

Champagne glasses clink around you and people applaud, but all of it sounds far away. The only thing you can focus on is Jay, who’s making his way slowly through the throng of well-wishers to get to you.

When he’s finally in front of you, you have your misty eyes under control. He drops his hands to your waist and smiles gently. “Hi, pretty lady.”

“Hello, my favorite hopeless romantic.” Your palm goes to the sharp curve of his jaw. “You just had to go and say such sweet things. What’s gonna happen to my cool and unbothered reputation?”

“Right, your reputation.” He leans into your touch. “I can think of other ways to ruin your reputation,” he remarks, low and rough.

You roll your eyes, although you can’t stop your other hand from curling into the lapel of his suit jacket. “Romantic and horny! Duality of man.” 

“I meant what I said, you know.” His eyes soften at you. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me this year. Maybe ever. I have a lot of great people in my life, but only one you.”

“I know. You always mean what you say, and I love that about you.” You lean in to press a quick kiss to his mouth. He chases after you, tipping your chin up with his hand to kiss you deeper. Sadly, it doesn’t last for too long; you’re both aware that your friends and their parents are nearby.

But later, Jay makes sure to kiss you from this year into the next one, and you hope that you never forget what it feels like— fireworks exploding above your head and in your veins, lighting you up from within. Radiant, in the glow of someone who loves and is loved.

girlbossing soooooooo close to the sun (you, yunjin, chaewon, kazuha, and sakura)

yunjin: do u think it’d be weird if i got jake something for valentine’s day

you: yes extremely

sakura: don’t ask me i’m gay

yunjin: ???

yunjin: okay thx guys this was super helpful!

chaewon: i thought you weren’t dating?

yunjin: WE MIGHT AS WELL BE. i’m sick of waiting for him to actually ask me out

you: jokes aside, i think he’s really into you, like genuinely. but his head is so far up his ass he will never make the first move

sakura: boooooo emotionally repressed playboy how cliche

kazuha: omg u should try to do something romantic

yunjin: absolutely not i can’t be a SIMP

sakura: boooooo emotionally repressed maneater how cliche

yunjin: WHATEVER

yunjin: more importantly, what are we doing for galentine’s!!!!

kazuha: spa day i thought?

you: yes but i have to leave a little early :(( sorry ladies the community kitchen is doing a pre-valentine’s day dinner and jay and i are signed up to help

chaewon: i can’t even be mad at you that is SO CUTE

Jay gets sick in the week leading up to Valentine’s day, which puts a spanner in the works of his grand plans for your first Valentine’s together. You tell him that it’s not a big deal and he should just focus on resting and getting better, but that doesn’t stop him from moping about it. 

mother is mothering (you, niki, and jungwon)

you: can i just say that this gc name is not helping to put to rest the joke that jay and i are ur parents

you: also i Don’t think u guys know what this phrase means…

you: but anyways what’s up… children

niki: pleaseeeeee fix jay hyung

jungwon: fr we’re desperate

jungwon: he’s been playing sad john mayer songs for like three days straight I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE

niki: he called the coffee shop yesterday to see if we could set up a valentine’s day surprise for u

niki: we can’t, so i’m not ruining the surprise

niki: but he literally had such detailed plans for the surprise like WE R JUST PART-TIMERS

you: omg… my bf is so cute :(

jungwon: that is SO not the point actually that’s like the exact opposite of the point

you: dw i was gonna come over today after the community kitchen’s pre-valentine’s day dinner anyways

jungwon: THANK GOD

niki: YAY can u ask jay to help me with research material for my history paper btw

you: ask him urself?

niki: i’m scared he’s going to rope me into some other crazy plan to make it up to u for ruining ur valentine’s day plans

niki: which sounds like a HIM problem??? why is he getting ME, a CHILD, involved

you: oh so ur a child now but not when u want to sneak into frat parties

jungwon: omg SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK

you: jungwon i know ur the one who helps him sneak in

jungwon: haha. love u mom :)

you: IM NOT UR MOM

you: btw i’m bringing back extra vegetables from the community kitchen and i expect u to eat them! jay mentioned u were stressed lately and not eating well

jungwon: okay ty… not-mom

It’s almost 10pm by the time you get to the frat house, bundled in your winter coat and weighed down with containers of food. You leave one in the fridge, labeled with a note that says “for jungwon— eat this or niki will forever be taller than you”. You take everything else with you to Jay’s room, pausing at the door when you realize you don’t even know if he’ll be awake or if he’s still sleeping off his illness.

The door swings open before you have the chance to knock, and you’re met with the sight of Jay in a bathrobe, shower caddy in hand. “I must be hallucinating,” he mutters. 

You hold back a laugh. “Nope, you’re still in the land of the lucid. I brought you some food, and I figured we could watch something while we eat. Go shower; I’ll set up.” 

Jay blinks rapidly. “Oh my god, you’re really here?” He drops the shower caddy to the floor carelessly, moving forward to hug you before he halts abruptly, inches away from you. “Wait, no, you shouldn’t be here. I don’t want you to get sick, too.”

“It’s been, like, five days. I don’t think you’re contagious anymore,” you argue, sidling past him to drop your stuff into his room.

“Really?” The hopefulness in his voice makes your heart melt.

“Really. I’ll ask Heeseung to ask his special friend to confirm, if that will make you feel better,” you offer.

Jay's eyebrows furrow. “We should probably stop calling her that, but yes, that would make me feel better. Ask while I shower, but seriously, I’m not touching you if she says no.” 

You salute him. “On it, captain.” Heeseung’s special friend is the girl who teaches one of the yoga classes at the university gym, and she’s also a nursing student. She has a name, but Heeseung refuses to tell any of you what it is. Truthfully, it wouldn’t be hard to look her up, but you think it’s kind of cute how nervous Heeseung is about whatever liminal space he’s in with her.

you: hey can u ask the love of ur life if it’s okay for me to be with jay rn?

heeseung: first of all DONT CALL HER THAT second of all why tf would she have an opinion on that

you: i wouldn’t have to call her that if u would tell us HER NAME

you: and jay came down w/ that nasty virus like five days ago remember

heeseung: oh my goddddd yeah he wouldn’t stop whining about how his valentine’s day plans were ruined

you: ur special friend is in nursing right? so can u ask her

heeseung: i’m starting to think i should tell u her name just so u stop coming up with new ways to refer to her

you: that’s what I'M saying

heeseung: but yeah sure anything to get jay to stop being so annoying

you: thank uuuuu i’ll leave u some cookies in the kitchen so give some to her okay?

heeseung: omfg u made COOKIES i am so glad jay is dating u

Ten minutes later, Heeseung texts to let you know that you’re probably in the clear. More specifically, he says that his friend says it’s ultimately best practice to stay away from Jay for another couple of days, but she thinks the two of you are so cute and she gets why you’d want to be with him, and you’re outside of the most contagious window now, anyways. 

You figure that’s close enough to a yes, which is what you tell Jay when he returns from his shower. He’s at your side in an instant, hugging you like his life depends on it. “I’m sorry,” he whispers eventually.

“What on earth for?” 

“Our first Valentine’s is going to be so lame, just because I got sick.” He sighs deeply. “I wanted to make it special for you, especially because you’re always running around helping everyone, and instead you’re here, taking care of me.”

“Jay.” You pull back from his chest to look at him. “Nothing is lame, and nothing is ruined, okay? It’s literally just a day. And you always make me feel special. Being with you is like— ahem.” You cringe at the words that are about to come out of your mouth; Jay is always effusive and free-wheeling with his declarations of affection towards you, but it doesn’t come as easily to you. The way you feel about him makes you want to try, though. “Being with you is like Valentine’s Day every day.”

He smiles gently at you, one dimple carving a crescent into his left cheek. “You deserve it, baby. And even if you didn’t, I’d still want to give that to you.”

The two of you stand like that for a while, swaying underneath the unattractive lighting in Jay’s room. His hair starts to drip onto your shoulder, though, and you remember that you need to go back down to the kitchen to set aside the cookies you promised Heeseung.

“Why does Heeseung get to have some of the cookies you made for me?” Jay pouts.

“Troll bridge toll I felt compelled to pay, all because you wanted a second medical opinion,” you respond dryly.

“I’m supposed to believe you were the first? And I’m telling Heeseung you called him a troll.”

“Keep that up and you won’t be getting any cookies, Park.” 

Of course, you feed him a cookie as soon as you’re back in his room. Jay has changed into his pajamas while you were away, and he points to another set he’s laid out for you after he’s done eating the cookie. Once you get changed, you settle on the rug in front of Jay’s bed and start an obscure history documentary together while eating the food you brought him. You warn him that it won’t be as good as what he makes (you are a far better baker than you are a cook). Undeterred, he makes an exaggerated effort to fawn over every dish and praise your skills.

Afterwards, you sit on the edge of his bed and let him lean his head on your lap as you blow dry his hair. “I heard you were being a pain in the ass this week about Valentine’s Day,” you mention. 

“That… is a distinct possibility, for sure.”

“Seriously, I think you scared away all of Niki’s coworkers. He wants your help with research for his history paper, by the way. Oh, that reminds me— what’s the name of your group chat with Niki and Jungwon?”

Jay grimaces. “Glucose father slay.”

You suppress a snort. “That’s… creative, if unsubtle.”

He hums contentedly from the just-right warmth of the hairdryer and the just-right softness of your hands. “We’ll get to have lots of Valentine’s Days together, right?”

"Of course, baby."

When it hits midnight, you’re curled up together in his bed, with his laptop still playing the credits of the history documentary. You enter February 14th like that, tucked under his chin, exactly where you want to be.

On one of the first randomly hot days that pop up in late March before the weather actually gets warmer, you’re holed up in the library, eyes aching after staring at the tiny text in ancient manuscripts for too long and shivering in the temperature-controlled special collections section of the library. While the rest of your friends are out at the college’s golf course enjoying the warm weather at a joint charity tournament, you’re stuck here, beholden to the block in your calendar which says “manuscript time :/”. The rare manuscripts you need for your thesis are only available to be looked at during certain times, but today’s research session has proven to be less than fruitful, given how often your eyes wander to the door to the exit and how empty your notes are.

You can feel yourself dozing off for the umpteenth time when suddenly, warm hands land on top of your shoulders, and a smooth voice murmurs in your ear, “Working hard or hardly working, Cinderella?”

Jay. You turn your head to meet his gaze; crescents of affection reflect back at you. “How’d you get in here?” Appointments are usually required for the rare manuscripts room.

He flashes you a smirk. “Charmed the librarian.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you pulled with the 40-and-up demographic like that.”

“Yeah, I told her I missed my girlfriend so much I’d cry if I couldn’t see her today.” He drops a kiss to your cheek, then maneuvers the chair next to you sideways and backwards so he can sit as close to you as possible. He crosses his arms on top of the back of the chair and rests his chin against his arms to stare at you, soft and beckoning. “You look like you want to leave.”

You sigh and turn fully sideways towards him, letting his long legs bracket yours while your knees push up against the back of his chair. “You look like a reason to leave,” you admit. It comes out breathy in a way that you hadn’t intended, but who can blame you— Jay is dressed for the golf tournament in a navy blue polo and crisp white slacks, and as always, his clothes fit like they were made for him. 

In the back of your mind, you make a note to ask where he gets his tailoring done. In the front of your mind, your attention roams from the clean line of his shirt sleeves against his biceps, to the inviting curve of his mouth, to the planes of his chest that peek out behind the top two undone buttons of his shirt. All these months later, looking at him still hasn’t gotten old; truthfully, you don’t think it ever will.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Jay inquires, peering closer at you with a sly grin on his face.

“Like you have to ask,” you grumble, reaching out to pinch his cheek in retaliation for the teasing question.

He grabs your hand before it reaches him and gently bites the tip of your index finger, laughing when you make an offended face and pull your hand back. “C’mon, let’s get out of here, yeah? We should at least make an appearance at the tournament we organized.”

You glance back at the heavy tomes you’ve pulled out today— pages and pages of dense Middle English to get through. Then, you look at Jay, who has chosen that moment to skate his fingertips up and down the top of your right thigh. The decision is almost comically easy to make. “Yeah, fuck this. Let’s go.” 

You dutifully return your books and say a polite goodbye to the librarian, who coos at you both. Jay waves your joined hands at her. On your way out to the main section of the library, goosebumps form on your arms from the change in temperature: arctic vortex to plain old frigid, both of which are wholly inhospitable environments for the sleeveless golf dress you’d worn today in hopes of eventually getting to the tournament. 

“Cold?” Jay halts you both and sweeps his hands across your shoulders and down to your wrists, frowning at the chill he encounters on your skin. Normally, he’d offer you his jacket or sweater or something, but he just has the shirt on his back today. “This won’t do,” he murmurs, and then he’s pulling you in the direction of the secluded stacks.

It’s dark and shadowy there, with not a single soul occupying any of the carrel desks spaced in between the rows of books. Your heartbeat picks up despite yourself; you think you have a good idea of where this is going. This is also something that hasn’t gotten old yet and likely never will. “You know, I’ve always thought it would be kind of hot to hook up in a library,” you comment.

Jay trips over air, then quickly rights himself and shakes his head as if to clear it before looking at you again. “You would, you nerd,” he says, but it comes out low and contemplative. 

As soon as you reach the carrel desk located in the most isolated corner of the stacks, he brings his hands to your waist and lifts you up to sit on top of the desk. Happily, you hook your ankles behind his legs and draw him in to stand between yours. “You can’t tell me you weren’t thinking the same thing.”

“I just wanted to kiss you for a bit, so you could warm up,” Jay insists. He leans in closer, until your chests are pressed up against each other. “But now that we’re here…” 

“Now that we’re here,” you agree. Then you’re tilting forward to kiss him, and the tension in your body from a long morning at the library dissipates into the heat of his mouth and the softness of his hair.

Jay kisses you long and luxuriously, like he was born to do nothing but stand around and kiss you. “You did so well with planning the tournament,” he tells you in between kisses, smothering the words against your mouth. 

“You did, too,” you reply, dispensing the compliment in airy gasps against his ear as he moves down to your neck, feathering open-mouthed kisses against the skin there. A whimper escapes from your throat when he bites down at the juncture of your neck and your clavicle, transforming into a breathy moan as he soothes over the sting with his tongue. His name slips out of your mouth in a dragged-out whine: “Jongseong.” 

He shudders against you. “Warn a guy before you do that, will you? I don’t actually want to come in my pants in the library.”

You giggle, tugging his head back so you can look at him. You’re met with shiny lips, slow-blinking eyes that drag up and down your body, and tousled hair, messed up from Jay’s meticulous styling by your wandering hands. Temptation, personified. “Fuck,” you breathe out. “What if I do?”

“You’re not wearing pants,” Jay points out cheekily. His demeanor switches to sultry in an instant when he presses down on your bottom lip with his thumb, and he groans when your tongue darts out over it. “God, you’re so hot. C’mere, doll, let me sort you out.”

Twenty minutes later, you’re slipping out of the back door of the library and into the parking lot. You shoot off a quick text to Yunjin, asking her to hold down the fort for a little while longer at the tournament, and then Jay is tugging you into the backseat of his car with an urgency that makes your heart pound. Now, you get to sort him out, and it’s so much better than staring at old books.

yunjin: what is taking so long i sent jay to get u like 45 minutes ago

you: sorry be there in a bit love you babe!

yunjin: woooooooooow remember when i said i would never betray u for dick

yunjin: guess u DO NOT FEEL THE SAME

yunjin: ah well have fun don’t do anything i wouldn’t ;)

to all the boys i’ve fake-dated before (you, sunghoon, yeonjun, chan, vernon, mark, and 5 others)

you: were any of you fuckers going to tell me that jay’s birthday is TOMORROW?!

you: help!!!!! what do i get for him!!!!!

sunghoon: believe me that man wakes up every day thanking god that ur his gf. u don’t need to get him anything

you: as much as i appreciate the reporting of his simp behavior, i am IN A PANIC his birthday is in 12 hours why the fuck didn’t anyone say anything sooner?!?!

vernon: i’m gifting him a new speaker for the basement

chan: bro you’re getting that gift for ALL of us bc you BROKE the speaker in the basement

vernon: and jay is one of the many recipients of that gift!

you: FOCUS on me and MY problem please

mark: yooooo u could write him a song? i still owe u a favor so i’d be down to help

you: and make him listen to me perform it? i’m trying to keep this relationship going, not obliterate it

yeonjun: mans has one single move in his arsenal

mark: HEY it worked out pretty well for me

yeonjun: only bc u had like a million ppl helping u

sunghoon: i got jay tickets to that japanese singer he likes

you: FUCK that’s such a good idea why didn’t i think of that

sunghoon: bc u didn’t know his birthday was coming up

you: thanks genius

sunghoon: but anyways jay never makes a big deal out of his birthday

sunghoon: it’s mostly like a sentimental thing for his parents bc they tried for so long to have him

vernon: strictly speaking, they were trying to have ANY of the sperm inseminate ANY of the eggs so like it didn’t have to be him specifically

mark: dude wtf

chan: i’m sure jay will love whatever you get for him! maybe you could paint or draw something for him?

you: okay yes yes i can bang something out real quick in the studio 

vernon: that’s what she said

yeonjun: this is why ur still single

you: the sperm and egg comment didn’t give it away?

vernon: guys stop ganging up on me wtf

you: okay thank you ONLY to chan the rest of you were useless

you: chan u could start a business. like a gift-giving idea business

mark: like santa claus but without the actual gifts?

yeonjun: ghost santa claus

chan: none of you should ever be allowed to start a business

It’s 5am by the time you’re finished in the studio, and you know your sleep cycle is going to be all sorts of messed up for the next few days, but it’s a small price to pay so you can slide into Jay’s bed and mold yourself against his body, knowing that your painting of the scene of your first date is leaning safely against the wall across from you. 

Unfortunately, the swift arrival of sunrise and birds chirping outside of Jay’s window leave you unable to fall asleep (not to mention the energy drink you’d chugged at 2am). You give up on it quickly, comforted by the fact that you don’t have any classes today and can afford to sleep in when your body eventually gives out on you. 

Staring at Jay is not an unenjoyable way to pass the time, so that’s what you do. Sleep smoothes out all the muscles in his face, but the sharp angles of the underlying bone structure turn him into marble; idly, you wonder how many sculptors would kill to be able to craft something this beautiful, this timeless and exquisite. You’ve tried to sketch or paint Jay multiple times yourself, and you’re still trying (that senior portfolio is going to be the death of you), but to date, you’ve been left unsatisfied. Something about Jay is just too expressive, too lively, too attentive; you haven’t been able to nail down the exact way he moves through the world, much less the way he looks at you like nothing else exists. There’s so much love to give in those steady hands, and so many meanings to divine in those familiar eyes—

Oh.

Jay’s eyes have flipped open, displaying his least endearing habit: sleeping with his eyes open. It unnerves you to no end, even though it makes him look kind of silly, so you have to flip around with a small grin on your face. “You’re lucky I love you so much,” you whisper, mostly to yourself.

His arm tightens around your waist. “Tell me something I don’t know.” The words come out slightly slurred, and the movement of his lips against the back of your neck makes you shiver. 

You flip back around to meet his now closed eyes. “You’re awake?” Jay usually sleeps like the dead.

“I’m trying really hard not to be,” he drawls. Eyes still closed, he tugs you closer to press his lips to your forehead. “Go to sleep, doll.”

You hum tunelessly and fidget with the pendant of his necklace. “Happy birthday, Jongseong.” You can feel his lips curve into a smile against your skin, but you’re quick to nip that in the bud. “Or should I say… traitor? Why didn’t you tell me your birthday was coming up? I had to find out from Jungwon.”

“Typical mama’s boy.”

You giggle, even as you admonish him with: “Seriously, that joke needs to die. One of Riki’s coworkers actually thinks I’m his mom, and I just have a really good Botox supplier.”

Jay’s chest rumbles in amusement underneath your ear. Afterwards, it’s quiet for a long moment before he finally opens his eyes to peer blearily at you. “Are you upset I didn’t tell you about my birthday?”

You give him a tiny shrug. “Just curious, I guess. Plenty of people don’t like to celebrate their birthdays. Sunghoon said it’s usually more of a thing for your parents than it is for you.”

“Yeah, that’s about right.” Jay rubs his thumb over your cheek. “I’m spending the day with them, actually. We go to the same place for brunch every year, and then we just kind of walk around until dinner, which I’ve been cooking for the past couple of years.”

You smile automatically at the thought of his parents. They adore you, and the feeling is mutual— how could it not be? 

Jay’s thumb halts its movements as something occurs to him. “Well, hey, do you wanna come with us?” 

Quickly, you shake your head. You can spot Jay’s Mr. Nice Guy gestures from a mile away. “Nah, you should keep up your tradition with your parents. We’re still getting lunch with them this weekend, right? So I’ll get to see them soon, anyways.”

“My mom said she loves the insoles you sent her, by the way.”

“Right? Super comfortable. I can stay on my feet in the studio all day in those.” Just then, you’re hit by a yawn. “I guess I did the equivalent of a full day last night.”

Suddenly, Jay sits up straight, making you whine about the loss of coziness. “Wait, yeah, why are you here so early? Not that I don’t love waking up next to you, because I really do, but you weren’t here last night, and… oh my god.” He cuts himself off when he spots the painting against his wall.

You sit up as well. “Don’t freak out,” you begin. “I had fun making it, okay? And I don’t have class today so I can sleep alllllll day and if you’re not tired after dinner we can hang out afterwards, and seriously, Jay, light of my life, apple of my eye, etcetera, etcetera— let me do something nice for you without you feeling guilty about it, okay?” You draw in a deep breath. “I know I’m, like, afflicted with a chronic need to be helpful, but c’mon. Pot, kettle.” You point to yourself and then to him. “I love that you’re humble and kind and you know how lucky you are, but there’s nothing… to prove. You hear me? Just because you’ve had a good life doesn’t mean you have to give 110% of yourself to everyone else to deserve it. Please don’t make yourself feel bad because you get to take something from me for once instead of giving.” At the end of your rant, you blink in surprise at yourself. “Sorry, I don’t know when that turned into a lecture. All I’m saying is that you told me once that you’d want to give me Valentine’s Day every day, even if I didn’t deserve it, and I want to give that to you, too.”

Jay’s eyes flick between you and the painting and back to you, staring at you like he’s never seen you before. He’s speechless for so long that you count to 33 in your head in Mississippis that are definitely longer than one second. Finally, he crushes you to his chest in a hug that has your arms flailing around him with the force of it. “I feel like you just crawled into my head,” he says against your ear.

You make a face that he can’t see. “Didn’t need that visual in my head, but okay, baby.”

“I mean… I’m just feeling very perceived; that’s all. And I don’t really have anything else to say except that I love you so much, and thank you, and you’re my favorite person in the world.” He sniffles, and then preempts you with a, “Shut up.”

“Noooooo, I made you cry,” you coo at him, leaning back in his hold to swipe under his eyes with your thumbs. As you continue to fuss over him and he pretends to bite at your fingers, he hopes you know just how much he’s affected by your words and just how much you mean to him. Golden boy Park Jongseong, the prodigal son, the miracle child— he doesn’t think it could fairly be called a burden, because how could it be a burden to be so lucky, to be so loved, to have never truly suffered? But somehow, you get it. Maybe because you’re cut from the same self-sacrificing cloth, or maybe because you just understand him at an atomic level, but you get it. You get that he has dedicated his life to deserving his life in the first place; you get that he tries so hard, all the time, because he wants to be worthy of what he’s been given; you get that he gives, and gives, and gives, and he never wants to take, because he feels like he hasn’t done enough to pay back the gifts with which he was born, let alone take anything else from this world. And here you are, giving him your heart on his birthday— a day he doesn't think is anything special except for the joy it gives his parents— because you love him. Because you're just glad that you were born in the same timeline. He has never dared to ask for a gift like this.

Pathetically, all that he can get out is a simple, “I love the painting, by the way.” He nudges your nose with his. “I’m going to have it framed for our place after we graduate.”

“Our place?”

“Oh, yeah.” He clears his throat awkwardly. “I guess this is me asking. Do you want to live with me next year? Wherever it is that we end up. It would be, you know, economical.”

“Right, because we totally didn’t just have a conversation about your hang-ups with being born with a silver spoon in your mouth. And mine, too, I guess.”

Jay tsks at you. “Okay, or maybe I just want to wake up next to you every day. And make you food when you forget to eat, and listen to your horrible true crime podcasts while we clean up around the place, and hold your hair when you get sick because you forgot to take your Lactaid, and make sweet, sweet love to you every night—”

“Okay, okay, stop!” You’re laughing uncontrollably now, putting your hands up to stop Jay and the obnoxious kissy-face he’s making from coming any closer to you. “I didn’t need that much convincing, although I’m not sure how effective your convincing is when you’re just listing my bad habits, Mr. I-Sleep-With-My-Eyes-Open.”

“Yeah, but aren’t I lucky that you love me so much?” Jay smirks at you before tackling you down into his bed.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” you repeat to him. Sunlight slants in through the window behind his head, haloing him in a light so ethereal that you could be convinced the sun shines just for him. Like this, your words fade away from you, until all you’re left with is a quiet, heartfelt, “Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll live with you after we graduate.” Softly, you stroke through the hair at his nape. “Stop wondering, by the way.”

Jay’s eyebrows furrow. “Wondering what?”

You reach up to smooth away the crease in his brow. “Wondering if you’re allowed to be this happy. I just told you, like, a million times. You are. The heavens have decreed that Park Jongseong shall be happy for as long as he lives, and a long time after that.” Dramatically, you tap each of his shoulders, as if you’re knighting him. “It is thus decided.”

Jay swoops down and plants a chaste peck on your lips. “Well, since it’s thus decided. Let me add something to that decree, though: I’m going to make you happy for as long as I live, and a long time after that,” he promises. 

And you know he will.

(London is overcast and dreary when you touch down at Heathrow; typical, for a mid-September day. You and Jay still carry tans from a summer of island-hopping around Asia and the Mediterranean, but you’re sure those will fade soon. Still, there’s nothing you can complain about when Jay’s arm is snug around your waist and he looks like a dream in a light wool coat and admittedly unnecessary sunglasses.

You tease him about the sunglasses all the way to the doorstep of your new, shared apartment. But then he kisses you across the threshold and whispers about how much he loves you and how excited he is to be with you for the rest of his life, and you are so, so happy. Unbelievably happy. Beautifully happy. 

Happy, forevermore. This, the heavens have decreed.)

[blueskiesfillmymind]

what’s your opinion on each Blue version ? 👁️👁️

I was waiting for another ask!! Oh my god you're gonna be here for a while!! Cuz I'm gonna gush so much!!

Btw im gonna use acronyms for most of the titles of the animations and such so incase u need context.

KM - Kiss Me

LDT - Look Dont Touch

LF - Love Fool

SUASWM - Shut Up And Sleep With Me

BBYHL - Baby Hotline

WIW - wutiwant [one and two]

OTF - On The Floor

KMY - Kuruoze Miy

BMTHD - Bring Me The Horizon / Drown

LTH - Let It Happen

OL - Ordinary Life

So with that out of the way, Here. We. Go!

Kid blue [PRE-TRAUMA]

Blue's baby photos are just adorable!! Makes me wanna give his cheeks a small squishy squish,, I also wanna just- take him to an arcade,, he feels like such an arcade lover,, I wish to pamper him and treat him so much better, I remember when we were kids, we made mud pies and played in the rain together, and honestly those childhood memories makes me all the more happy that we've come so far,, I dont have much else to say other than he's a cutie patootie :3

Adult Blue [PRE-TRAUMA | KM - LDT -SUASWM]

My oh my,, he's such a flirt! His warm soft smug smile, his smaller more awkward moments when i flirt back with him are pure bliss,, the way he peppers me with kisses and always leans on me whenever he needs breaks from his work,, he's my handsy handsome boy!! And he loves me sosomuch,,, The way he'd give me sly glances whenever possible,, and his lovely tooth gap- Have I ever said how much I love his tooth gap? God he's seriously so lovely,, hearing him whistle simple tunes while we walk side by side,, hhrrgsggs

Mild Blue [SLBB - WIW1]

He has such a wounded heart,, it makes me wanna bitch slap pink even more whenever I think of this version of blue, even without his mouth he's quite kissable, he's more quiet than most of the other versions, yet all I can do is softly caress his cheeks, and passionately kiss him, mouth or not,, the way we'd lay together in comfortable silence as he boops his no-mouth against my own mouth, he actually loves doing that with me, kissing my cheeks even though he has no mouth, aside for his devilish smile ofc,, it's like he kisses me through a face mask,,

Heart Blue [BBYHL]

Sly,, Playboy,,, Bnuy,, BLU- no joke he's such a slut for pampering me,, and I mean that in the most loving way ever. I mean cmon, he wears a light pink sweater layered over a button up shirt, his sleazy black pants and lastly his lovely fluffy hair,, his heart glasses adorning his framed face as he looks at me with his tinted glasses,, gosh I'd be here for Years just to gush about his eyes,, The way he sometimes slips his hand near my waist to pull me closer sometimes,, gives me butterflies everytime!!

Hypersexual Blue [KMY]

The fact that when I've fallen for blue,, he was my first taste of- HOLY FUCK HIS TONGUE- May I say that his tongue knows how to knot cherry stems,, his tongue dancing along mine whenever we make out is pure bliss,, sure his mouth tastes like alcohol and booze,, but my god it makes me want to get drunk by his sensual touches,, and whenever we have that special moment,, its all like a wet dream,, his tongue is not only talented but he's surprisingly flexible, in a way he is a little stiff in some places, but he's still flexy,,

Cyan Blue [BMTHD]

Fire, Pain, just his pure denial ignites his rage, the way he sees himself is such a sad feeling, aswell as the way he's stuck in this episode of denying his entire abuse just pains me so so so badly,, During it all, he was so afraid of touching me.. almost isolating himself from me and other awful things, we ended up taking a small healthy break from one another.. but then after he healed,, he apologized for his manic behavior,, and I accepted him in a heartbeat,, having to finally feel his face again was such a blessing,, and I could tell he missed my touch aswell,,

White blue [WIW2]

All I'm going to say,, is I'm proud of him atleast,, finding his scars all over his body made me feel so sorry for him,, and when I watched the video, I felt so hurt.. the way he was silenced for being a man? I'd say that's rlly sexist. but that's not what I'm gonna touch on. I've had to comfort blue, we ended up cuddling when he got back,, I sang the two of us to sleep, and when he woke up, he kissed my cheek softly and mumbled a soft "Thank you",, aaughhh,,,

[Side note 4 paranoid: Whenever blue had those paranoid episodes, I've found another way of comforting them with my voice,, and now whenever he goes through those episodes, he'll either stand there frozen or just get to me for my comfort]

Grey Blue [LTH]

He was in such a spiral,, I felt super super awful for how the aftermath definitely made a number on him, every night he'd cling on me, to which I'd always nuzzle him to remind him how much he means to me,, every night he tears up and cried, whenever I'd see his dried tears, I'd clean them up for him,, aswell as brushing his hair that he was growing out, ngl I missed his mullet,, but hey, I'll love him no matter what <3

End Blue [OL]

... i felt so awful, and absolutely depressed when he began thinking of the things he's always been comparing himself to,, "My existence makes everyone uncomfortable, I'm a peice of shit!" Yet here I am. Thinkin the polar opposite, we both have had therapy times and during the end of it, I'd always ask for a hug, if he accepts, I'd rock him back and forth and hum a soft comforting tune,, if he dosnt want a hug, I'd ask for an alternative, and usually most time we'd always end up cuddling afterwards, I'm apart of his healing, I never want him to go through that ever again,

I'm not gonna talk about the abuser version of blue, he's nothing but a figure of his imagination, he isnt real. Not to me, and never will be real to blue,,

Anyways!!! Yeah,,, as you can tell i love blue :3

[akaakeis]

hello hello sav <3 how are you doing?

im attempting a yap ask but i dont know how much time i have on my hands so if i need to go i'll just press send and you'll have an awkward cutoff. also, it will probably be mildly ominous lolol

anyways !

i got my period for the first time since like ,, july ? i think ? which is insane the stress has been crazy

also like.. wdym september is almost over WDYM. october, november, december then ??? new year ????? ur birthday ?????????

speaking of which i've been brainstorming ideas for an (online, not money costing) present and it's like. "write something. okay, what. okay, got it. wait no that's cringe nvm." even though it's probably not cringe 😒😒

a pinterest board sounds sillyfunny hmm

okay next topic pretend you didn't read the last part because i am HORRIBLE at hiding surprises like it just makes me so happy when other people are happy and like arghhh #girlproblems

i dreamt up a new smau yesterday and ill dm u about it tmr <- hasn't finished the first one yet, hasnt even STARTED it

OH OH OH I MISS YOU SM theres nothing more to that bit i kept thinking i have to add it in somewhere and also kept forgetting but like yes. um. imy baby ily 🫶

anyways SCHOOL right. today i caught my super awesome studious top grades role model student bunking class with the school's head girl. that was crazy. and i was going to bunk english (bc the teacher SUX see next para.) but i was so surprised at seeing her sneak off school bag n all during break that i accidentally bumped into said english teacher and she smiled and said hru LIKEEE KMS NO.

i spent a good 15 minutes hiding in the bathroom from her tho. okay so lemme describe our uniforms for u. so first we have like an erm. top thingy. google "female kurta" and you'll see like this thing w/ slits at the sides etc etc. it's usually shorter than the ones shown bc. uniform. and then we also have like loose fitting pants, and uhh. imagine a doctor's white coat thingy over all that which buttons up. and then a headscarf. ANYWAYS THIS IS RELEVANT BC. theres a girl in our class, the youngest & she's 15 in october. BUT wtv uh her apron (coat thingy is called that) buttons are loose and they keep opening. so obviously the teacher had to help.

"boys rn think many things they will stare at u and then in the future u will not get married" — mrs j 2024 😻 LIKE GIRL WHAT. and then she fatshamed a girl WHO ISN'T EVEN FAT BTW SHE'S LIKE. HEALTHY. AND HEALTHIER THAN MOST OF US SHE'S PHYSICALLY ACTIVE WORKS OUT AND EATS FRUITS AND STUFF um oops gtg i think.. and oh also she like ,, has hormone stuff but wtf woman. u dont even know proper english anyways gtg TELL ME AB UR HOMECOMING (?) and school is so stressful rn dont get stressed ily sav! <3

um so im gonna bawl my eyes out i was in the middle of typing out my reply AND IT DELETED ITSELF!! this is a cruel, cruel joke! ANYWAY HI LINA!! im doing good, hope you're doing well!!!!! <3

I MISSED YOUR YAP ASKS SM so happy to be receiving this 🙂‍↕️ have an amazing day at school!!

SINCE JULY??? i hate my period but i think i would lose it if i didnt have my period for a month cause i would convince myself i have conceived jesus in my uterus and am going to be a teen mother... SO ITS GOOD YOU GOT IT BUT I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER PERIODS SUCK SO BAD 💔

god it's so weird that september is ending... SPEAKING OF WHICH I HAVE AN ARTICLE DUE TO MY MAGAZINE ON OCT 1 I FORGOT today im locking in so hard on my school work and job... im also starting babysitting the side hustles are going crazy rn...but the thing is time is passing so funkily?? idk but it feels so slow during the day but before yk it you've been in the cycle for a rly long time and its the end of the month!!! i rmbr asking my friends this week if it still felt like it was the beginning of the month for them and they were like "no...?" LIKE OKAY THEN just slap me in the face and call me a freak at that point goodness 😞 but timeline 4 me we have october + halloween, november + thanksgiving, december + christmas, january + new year + BDAY!!!!, february + valentines day, THEN march + your bday <333 

im gonna act like i didnt see that one! im 45% blind in my right eye and fully blind in my left... matter of fact i cant see much of nothing 🫡

NEW SMAU WEEEEEEE im so excited to hear about it!!!!! ga(c)r is heavily staring at u from the corner of the room BUT SHE CAN WAIT

BRO I MISS YOU SO BADDD ilysm imysm chronically online era come back to us this summer PLEASE 

YES SCHOOL‼️ HELLO NOT THE ACADEMIC WEAPON I WOULD BE SO RATTLED IF I WITNESSED THAT? your teacher freaks me out i think id cry if i bumped into them LIKE I WOULD GENUINELY TWEAK!! especially the smile i can only imagine it looking creepy tbh

15 minutes in the bathroom u are so valid lina 😞 ALSO FEMALE KURTAS ARE SO CUTE THEY LOOK SO COMFY?? YOUR WHOLE UNIFORM SOUNDS SO COMFORTABLE 💔 i remember when i went to priv school i had to wear fitted polos and skorts CAUSE THEY WOULDNT LET GIRLS WEAR PANTS UNLESS IT WAS WINTER THAT WAS RIDICULOUS anyway back on topic that girl is pretty young for your class 🧍‍♀️ what r the age cutoffs like there?? cause usually the youngest ppl in my grade are both late august/early september idk

"boys rn think many things they will stare at u and then in the future u will not get married" GIRLL SHUT UP 😭 whos gonna tell her! FATSHAMED??? there is no way.... THATS ACTUALLY INSANE I BET THAT GIRL IS MORE ACTIVE THAN HER SHE NEEDS TO SHUT UP ⁉️ just messed up to do that in general like keep it to yourself ffs 😞 "u dont even know proper english" CLOCKED HER SO HARD i fear u are correct 

ILL TELL YOU ABOUT HOMECOMING NOW ILL GIVE U THE RUNDOWN OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED 🗣️

so like around 2:30 a bunch of my friends met up at one girl's house and we all got dressed and did makeup together!! my friend kaila did my makeup and i also did my friend jaslene's makeup THEN i had to book it and get to a hair appointment i had at a salon to get my hair done for the dance 💔 

after i finished getting my hair done i met with my friends at a restaurant and we all had dinner!! we took some photos outside while we were there and while we were taking photos my foot WAS DEMOLISHED by jaslene's boot heel thing anyway my foot was stepped on and it hurt cause i had open toe heels it was so bad hhhh BUT IM FINE NOW I THINK ‼️‼️

after dinner we all drove to the dance in one car and we were vibing out to baby + hot to go during the drive I COOKED UP THE RAP IN BABY SO HARD im famous amongst my friend group for the rap i always get the mic for that part 🫡 

when we got to the dance it was 7:00 and we just had a bunch of fun until 10:00 😭 hugged literally everyone that i knew i love seeing people at dances cause they always look so gorgeous!!!! lots of jumping around in the crowd and scream-shouting lyrics to songs that played... tons of fun 🙂‍↕️ my voice is practically gone now and my feet hurt since i was jumping around in heels the entire night BUT WE ARE SO CHILL it was really enjoyable!!

i agree school is super stressful rn... ill try not to!! you too <3 take care + have an amazing day at school!! ily lina <3 xx

[scaryfaggot]

Well, no-one has to read this feel free to just scroll past But BTW ive had an awful few days and it got a bit real but ill try really hard to be normal tomorrow. i dont like being even a little Bit serious when im making suicide jokes it takes away from the amusingness of killing yourself over random inconsequential things like Oh i just tripped on the sidewalk,im going to kill myself ha ha ha! , being even A tiny bit serious when making suicide jokes is how the real suicidal thoughts get you Atleast for me anyway. so in my serious moments i shant say it.this is My declaration. for ive gotten too, lax with this personal rule Of mine &i need to shape up and not be casually suicidal.because im not suicidal. i wont kill myself. But when i say stuff about killing myself in such serious horrible Moments of mine , i fear it just makes every-one worry about me.i love everyone And why would i want to make people worry over me........well i know people will worry over me in my moments of sadness anyway. i appreciate that.....lately i have felt like i am of no consequence to people around me And im not very important to any-body, but my friends have trully been there for me And guys i dont Even talk to that much have been there for me,&while i fear ive rather taciturn in my responses it does help and i truly appreciate it,and i love all of you. even if i still feel like im nobodys person.i am sorry ive been such an awful presence on the dash.not very becoming. i regret it a bit. Anyway i love you all thanks for being there for me and i will stop being casually suicidal. kms jokes are reserved only for when im feeling normal. thank you if you read all that I love you goodnight And sleep well,Or maybe if its daytime for you have a good day

[upperranktwo]

Top 5 characters of all time

Douma - my actual soulmate btw like it's not even a joke how much I love and adore him!!! He is SO important to me and I am so not delusional about him and I definitely do not think about him as soon as I wake up and as I'm falling asleep and any time in between! No definitely not!

Bulbasaur - my longest fave character!!! Been with that lil cabbage for the majority of my life!!! I've loved it longer than I've known 2 of my sisters! I have a section of my gaming area which is just bulbasaur!!!

Shadow the hedgehog (up until 2006) ahhhh one of my OG faves! I say up until 2006 because that was the last time he was written well 🫣 I don't read comics for it so I'm going off the games. Also I think his voice has been a bit naff over the last 10 years but this isn't a thing to rag on him!!! I loved him a lot as a kid and his aesthetic pretty much helped shape the one I have today! Also he invented black and red as a combination to me!!!!! Also the OST for his game was 👍 if I do say so myself

Optimus Prime - THE ICON OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!

Akaza - please!!! My bestie!!! I WILL kms when his backstory is animated tho! Just a warning

Ask me my top 5 anything ♡

[butterflywonz]

I miss you

And john is hot😔

I screamed so loud when they asked him to help me out of the rock pool... He was already keeping my fking crutch istg I wanted to cry in the water...

Nathan look like 🥢, I'm fr so mad at Rebecca for doing that bro... LIKE HIS EAR PHONES WEEE OUT AND EVERYTHING, but I could here him humming behind me which was cute, I mean I kinda have to be friends with Rebecca, cuz I'm nice 🙂 ( and she has a fucking Voodoo doll and I'm not risking shit) sooo yeah... Tortoise looks like he spells special in a specific way..(spechal) I have to stay at school till 5:30 Tommorow 😱 cuz MOS kpop society and also wp, so I might kms soon 😙...

So yeahhhh, also ,lamo is our thing, so is cumpy, so is 1bedroomapartmentguy, so is 🫡👀(Justin), so is " this one Mwah Mwah" so is Bessie chasing us, so is deep throating popsicles (Wtf was wrong with us…??) So is speaking made up languages at night *click click*, so is making fun of me stander 🏍️⚰️, so is thinking we're going to get raped by Justin Truscott, so is Mr kolesky saying penis infront of us, so is the fact that we've never kissed before ( we haven't?) So is the shirtless pics we got from Zachary (she's beautiful but she not my type), so is Abraham as a hole (wait no not like 🕳️, so whole?) So is his nipple tbh, so is going home late afterschool, so is that crazy looking girly telling you not to take pics of her man even though we were taking pics of Kakas, so is me accidentally walking into the unisex bathroom and getting the biggest shock of my life seeing Joshua (gr 11) and thinking I was in the wrong bathroom... And then having a conversation with bradlen... So is when we went on that ride at play land, so is when we thought they were playing FEVER at a children's birthday, so is when we got into the car ready to go home from said children's birthday party actual attractive people arrive, so is us randomly saying cum, so is that guy face timing us to jerk off, so is Chris's cock (I'm sorry) so is monkey as a app, so is Eric from Portugal ( more like Thabo from Nigeria) so is us being racist towards each other(and Fatima) so is the fact that zaarah gives off lesbian vibes, so is the fact that Willow makes me wanna actually rip out my intestines and shove them down her throat to make her stfu, so brownwon..., so is randomly doing antifragile in the middle of BayWest, so is shit talking nirvana cuz we just don't like her, so is randomly "AHHHHHHHH" when we see someone moderately attractive, so is pretending my knee is choking, so is the dislocation of my knee, so are these 2 year old bad boys, so are those yellow and blue woosan birds, so is pause games, so is convincing jaylin soobin died, so is me crying because.. "what If heeseung kills himself" , so is Daniel making me cry 3 times..., so is making jokes about making Jason more handicap, so is reading ff's together, so is the fact that this is so fucking long..., so is us shit talking your mother... With your father, so is lukho flashing us, so is us learning a dance and forgetting it, so is us disliking some idols... Just because, so is you making me come home crying in grade 5, so is us being not even being friends..., so is the fact that I would do anything for you... And also so is the fact that we PLANNED YOU RUN AWAY!?!?!?!?! love you babes, I miss you too.... Theres loads more but like....

ALSO ASBLF I UNDERSTAND IF YOU DIDN'T READ ALL OF THIS...

Im anonymous so like... I could be Anyone ...

So like leaked intak 😻 pics?!?!

PLEASE TELL ME NOWW RAAAAHHHHH okay bye ml

OH MY WORD WIFEY I MISS YOU SO SO SO MUCHHHH!!!

im so sick RN so I can't come to but pls tell the kpop club ppl that I wna join but I'm DYING WOOHOO

dude Nathan is hot

ALSO I'M NOT ALLOWED TO USE THIS PHONE ANYMORE THIS IS ME BEING SHNEECCEE AT MIDNIGHT

I love you sosoosososososososososo much and I appreciate the long ask (I read it all btw) I ALSO DON'T LIKE WILLOW<3

Wtf is ety coz Ik what what wp is and stuff but ETY? WHAT'S YOUR ETY WHATS YOUR ETY.

apparently the kpop club does BEAT stuff during the year too🐢

Ha yeah tortoise us hot:)

Love you babes I miss you<3

Btw "MY KNEE IS CHOKING, SOMEONE WITH BRACES, CURLY HAIR AND LOTS OF BADGES PLEASE HELP!!!!"

[zoyangi]

W𝒆𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒚 𝒑𝒂𝒈𝒆!

Hi-hello! It’s Zoya. you can call me by Zee or Zoi whichever floats your boat. I go by she/her pronouns and I’m okay with any gendered terms 👍 I’m of legal age (21+) also I’m a big tree lover so you might see me yapping about it a lot

What do you have to know before you follow me?

First of all, I tend to ramble a lot and make kms jokes so please do tell me if you’re uncomfy with it, I’ll try my best not to use it around you. Most of what I say is lighthearted so don’t take them seriously ‹3 And if I do something wrong please kindly tell me through dm. And btw I’m delusional but not in oppa is mine way but in a silly goofy way.. Ps. I’m active in rp, if you’re wondering who I am, just check my twitter list! 💗

Unfortunately, I don’t follow those who..

Fits basic dfi criteria, under 16 :c, on edtwt, have nothing in common with me/don’t share mutuals :c

Things that spark my interest! ♡

• Music: I listen to anything as long as they’re good but I specifically like andteam, tbz, katseye, iiso, anything ggs really • Hobbies: drawing and.... (still searching) • Games: Cookie Run Kingdom, Honkai Starrail (on hiatus) • Manhwa/manga/manhua/webcomic: ORV, The Broken Ring, The Novel’s Extra, Loving Yamada-kun At lvl 999, Secret Lady, Fantasie of A Stepmother, Jjk, 19 days, other isekai manhwas • Books: tgcf, 2ha, mdzs, svsss (anything danmei) • Shows: Mamma Mia, Twinkling Watermelon, While You Were Sleeping, Criminal Minds, Ghibli movies, gokusen, Pride And Prejudice, Moving, Chinese dramas, etc

[castleofclouds]

ᴛᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴅᴀᴛᴇᴅ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ Nct Dream Alternative Universe OT7.

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ pairings ; ot7 × reader (yn)

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ disclaimer ; fiction, cursing, 18+ content, kms joke and many more.

Story are by © castleofclouds, do not copy or repost without watermark!

‧₊˚ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖‧₊˚ ࣪﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪sumarry : your life was peaceful until your stupid friends start giving you ideas of making thread about ur exes, stirring a whole new problems for you, suddenly one by one of your past start running back to you and opening old books of you and them, how do you act in this situation?

genre : gotta be fluff! texts (sometimes smau) angsty, slowburn, romance, humor, mention of 18+ content.

tag : @bluedbliss, @luvandletter, @1daily2lele7,

To All The Boys I've Dated Before : Read The Room

The discussion continued smoothly, even with the tension that are clear to eyes between you and mark, there's clearly something on the air, but nobody dared to asked, karina keep checking you out, making sure nothing get messy from the both of you, you glared at mark like there's no tommorow, well he left you. How can you pretend to be fine?

“So Mark, now that we already had the discussion from moment on we are going to work together to make the script, hmm.. How about yn and mark doing it together?” Kai exclaimed, well. Turn out not everybody got the hints, Sunghoon slap his arms causing him to wince in pain. “Ouch, is that necessary?” he whined.

“Sorry yn, Kai doesn't drink his espresso today, he kinda buffering out there..” Sunghoon assured you, Mark eyeing you before voicing his own opinions.

“I would love too, besides yn is the best at writings script for a movie, she knew a lot of movies that we can used as references.” Mark stated oblivious to your feelings. “Yn doesn't know how to write for shits.” Karina tried to help you, but Kai clap in excitement.

“Then we had a deal? Btw how do you know yn watch a lot of movies? She never even tell us that even though we both are classmates?”

Kai and his big mouth, you want to just shove a paper inside it and never let him talk again.

You sighed, and look at Karina, she worries a lot, as your childhood friends she knew how much Mark hurted you back then, she doesn't want you go through the same thing again now that the culprits are here across you. “Okay, I'll try my best.” you agreed quickly didn't want to add fuel to the flames, well you could. And that would be okay, but you didn't want to tell everybody that Mark actually are your exes, first ex to be exact and he abandoned you years ago.

After the group added Mark, discussion ended smoothly, when everybody start packing Mark notice you and asked for a private talk. You agreed.

Both of you stand silently at the corner, he looks at you with his twinkle eyes, “What is it Mark?” he open his mouth but close it again, doing it for a while now and that really pisses you off.

“What is it? If you didn't have anything to say I'll go.” you proceeded to walk away but he stopped you, he doesn't look at you yet but he didn't let go of your arms either. “I.. I'm sorry.” he stuttered, he said it again, another sorry came out of his mouth, it's not a suprise, you are so used of this behavior he always said sorry, without giving any meaning to that. Some sort of blabbering.

“Hear me out first, I knew we had an history but I hope you would be fine working with me for the next 1 month, trust me after this I'll be gone and never talk to you ever again, I need this project for my grades, you know how me and grades are like.” he explained. You sighed.

“Yeah, grades, and achievement, isn't that you? You only thing about yourself first, never others, just like how you abandoned me back then.” those words feels like some sorts of curse, it flows so flawlessly as if you had been waiting to said all those words since years ago.

“I see your tweet.. About me.” both of you went silent, you are. You want to bashing your head against the kitchen tops, you forgot that tweet exist for shits. “I was drunk at that times, just because I said nice things about you doesn't mean I forgave you.” you tried to defend yourself.

“I know, but whatever it is i'm thankful, Johnny is the one that shared that to me, so.. I found it by suprise.” Mark continues, you shut him off by put your hands in front of his face.

“Whatever it is, we are done talking and I need to go, we had another class this afternoon, I don't want to be late for that class.” you dipped left him alone at the corner, he sighed, he already predicted this, but at least Mark wanted to give you reason to not hate him too much.

After visiting Mark's dorm, the five of you back to the class, a very important class, and somehow the most hated ones. It's one of those essential Math Class. Why do filmography students even needs math or psychics class? Apparently it's one of the essential in order to make a good film production, especially geometry, algebra and more. You hated this class. Math were never your favorite, just like how Math never favored you too.

Class were painfully boring, the lectures brought horor when he spoke there's going to be a test in three month, and you didn't prepare nothing, and this test are important to keep your grades, not like you care, but your math grades were already failing, so this test might save you from not getting your ass kicked out from the class.

You asked around to see if anybody knew someone who can help you with maths, Jay, the guys that had been sitting next to you in algebra class recommend you one of his mentor that specializes in math and psychics that had 100% chance of changing that C- to A- in just months.

This seems like such a really good ideas, you never agreed to fast than a bolt of lighting, he gives you number and you make the deals, this is going to be easy! As you thought.

Well that was three hours ago, well now where is that spirit? You look at the guy that are going to be your mentor, you want to throw rocks at your head for believing today isn't going to be bad as the other days previously if anything today was worsened than any day you ever had in your entire life.

You thought meeting, Renjun and Mark were already bad because they caused chaos in your life, or how you want to just cried on Chenle shoulder when you first saw him, now this guy?

He glared at you, yeah, you clearly are going to have a very tough time with this one ex of yours, you started to wonder if your life is one book where the author hated your character that they just make your character met these exes of yours at the worst time in your life.

Well you aren't wrong.

Jisung, he had been giving you those nasty glares, if looks could kill, you probably are murdered and torn limps by limps.

You know why, you hurted him too much so many times even if you pray to God, do good deeds, your sins to him will never be payed enough, and you wanted to kill yourself for it too, how can you hurted the most pure hearted person, betrayed him, lied to him, left him, and now you asked for his help? Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Well. You are.

“Uhmm.. I'm here for mentoring?” you started conversation, he looks at you up and down. “After thinking about it i'm not that desperate for money, asked someone else to mentor you, I'm full.” as he ready to left the warm library.

Previous, Masterlist, Next.

A/N

How is itt?? Did y'all like it?? I hope soo, I'm actually missing writing about TBDE more than i think I were, gonna write more if you would like it, leave any notes or traces so I knew who's watchin~ anyway how's your Wednesday going? It's morning in here rn soo yeah, btw there's going to be a spinoff from this TBDE series do yall want me to post the first chapter of that spin off first or continue this story first and later post it? Just let me know!

[toehwa6]

You wanna know some fucking bullshit.

Listen to this dumb fucking shit.

So to the puzzle gang out there you know that og plastic 2x2’s are literally the craziest puzzles you can get like crazy collectors shit

I currently have two a stickerless and a white one. I need a fucking black one to complete the collection.

I’ve been looking for these stupid fucking things for years.

Well low and fucking behold some rando fuck shows up on Reddit going

oG pLaStIc 2x2’s for sale I got a bunch I’m ready to get rid of them blah blah blah

So I hit this dumb motherfucker up and I’m like

Hello please let me purchase your one black og plastic Dayan 2x2

He’s super cool shows me the puzzle blah blah blah

I pay him and he says he’s sending it out tomorrow

Doesn’t hit me up

I go, hey buddy! Did you send it?

He goes

Oh yeah, sorry I don’t check Reddit much! Yes I sent it out

I ask, when’s it gonna be here, tracking, how’d you send it blah blah blah

Doesn’t hit me up

I go, boi you fucking there?

He goes

Oh yeah, sorry I don’t check Reddit much!

This stupid motherfucker made a post on Reddit the day after I sent a message so he’s fucking ducking me

He goes. They said it’ll be there on the 18th

And then he fucking ghosts me again when I ask for tracking

At this point I’m losing my fucking mind

Eventually he gets back to me and calls me a fucking weirdo, saying he’s never had someone yell at him like this before

Like listen dumb fuck, you’re shipping one of the rarest fucking puzzles there are and you don’t give a fuck

That’s fucking weird

You literally don’t reply AT ALL, let alone with any tracking or a “hey I sent your package out”

He literally goes

Idk it sounds like YOURE the scammer trying to get a free puzzle from me!

Bro! You’re fucking r-ed!

I already paid you and I’m screaming for tracking to make sure you actually fucking sent it.

I’m losing my mind at this point.

This stupid motherfucker hits me with a “you’re*” joke

I want to fucking kms

He then makes some dumb fuck comment about how I didn’t pay him PayPal did

Like, are you actually r-ed?

You’re so fucking stupid Jesus fucking Christ

Anyway. I argue with this dumb motherfucker for a bit until he’s like alright jeez I’ll get you tracking jeez leave me alone

He gets me tracking, we say sorry. I wait for this stupid fucking puzzle to get here.

IT GETS HERE OMG

guess what

It’s not a fucking 50mm puzzle

You know, like the actual rare one? The one people actually use? The one people make a big deal out of?

Btw, forgot to mention

I call this guy out for not giving a fuck and he goes

Gosh it’s just a puzzle, “it’s not a million dollars”

No shit you fucking idiot

But you know what the fuck it is

The minute I hit this motherfucker with

Hey! I didn’t even know 46mm was a thing! I don’t want this! Give me a refund!

He goes

Oh, yeah, sorry forgot to mention the size

It’s still the og plastic and the same mechanism

I shit you not

“Still very sought after”

Like no it’s fucking not you fucking ape

And boom

That when he stops messaging me

Actually

He fucking blocked me

I find this out by(after the reason I’m furious which I’m going to explain) going on a fucking alt because Reddit said his account was gone

Nope!

Just fucking blocked me!

I write up this long as fucking chargeback on PayPal and absolute goddamn motherfucker the fucking page fucking takes me back to the fucking log in screen after I hit submit and everything I typed up for 30 fucking minutes is fucking GONE

I’m losing my mind and can no longer fucking REWRITE anything because I’m just FUCKED

I’m FUCKED

So I go to message this stupid fucker and say

Hey bud, refund me before I smack you with this chargeback

Btw I’m saying that you purposefully left out important info in order to mislead people

That’s when it hit me

His account is gone

And he blocked me on PayPal cause I can’t fucking message him there??

So I go on one of my many fucking alts

And look this motherfucker up

And write on one of his stupid fucking comments

Hey guy, message me back on my main before I smack you with this chargeback tomorrow. Thanks bye.

FUCK. YOU.

And that’s where the fuck I’m at now.

Bitching on a stupid fucking TUMBLR POST BECAUSE IM FUCKING MAD AT FUCKING NOTHING

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF

IM MISERABLE

MY LIFE CANT GET ANY WORSE

But holy fuck

I’m going to get my fucking money back before I blow my fucking brains out

Fuck this mother fucker

Fuck these stupid puzzles

Fuck Reddit

Fuck everyone online

Fuck the puzzle community

Fuck talking to people

I fucking hate myself

I fucking hate being alive

I hope I fucking die soon

I don’t fucking care anymore

FUCK

If you’re reading this fuck you too

Fuck me??

Fuck you!!

FUCK YOU

FUCKING. DIE.

Can’t wait til I charge back this motherfucker and keep his motherfucking puzzle

I’m literally going to spit on garbage and mail that to him

FUCK. YOU.

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE I CANT GET OUT

I CANT GET OUT

I CANT GET OUT

FUCKING HELP ME PLEASE

HELP

FUCK

I fucking hate this shit

Don’t fucking read this too late go fuck yourself cya

[domesticateddog]

it is so so so hard to be vulnerable with people especially about something like that and i think thats really trusting and impressive that you opened up like that and I also think you should be proud of yourself as well for doing so. its great that you addressed something that was hurting you

thank you 🥹 <3333 you are so kind for sending this, i appreciate it so much. i really do trust him. and it’s weird bc i never used to think i’d have such a problem being so… open with people. i always felt like i was an open book but it turns out i’ve closed myself off and put up a LOT of walls and he’s helping me break them down. i know he can’t fix me and i can’t fix him but i think we’re VERY good for each other and im just so glad to have him in my life, i can’t even explain. it’s so bizarre but in a good way. i’ve been alone my whole life and suddenly one (giant) mental health crisis turns into this wonderful, healing and loving relationship. it’s only been 3 months since we met but it’s STILL crazy to me.

sorry if this doesn’t make sense btw im just…… yeah. it’s such an odd feeling putting your trust in another person like that and i can’t get over how this is really happening to me. like he’s real and genuinely cares about me like whaaattt how?? he doesn’t think im hideous?? fr??? crazy….