#jokes please if 20 million people saw me ever I think I would die

[transgender-chiroptera]

This is pretty epic but we've got a long way to go guys

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 13/?

Word Count: 3.2k

Author’s Note: Part 13? The unlucky part??? I’m evil

Y/N - Your name, A/N - Any name ( your best friend’s name).

I don’t know when this will be posted because time is dumb! But I do think I’ll have something prepared for Jason’s birthday<3

Hope you’re all well!

Warnings: Swearing, Eludes to sex, Mentions of injuries, Mentions of underage drug use (Do Not Condone), Mentions of sexual assault, Eludes to trauma, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

The next morning, Jason and Y/N would wake up in the same bed. Y/N would get up and stumble her way into his ensuite, trying not to wake him as he was still injured. It had been 4 days since his injury, and he was hoping that the next day he’d get his stitches removed. She would grab the clothes she wore the day before and walk into the ensuite.

She would fumble with her makeup a bit, realizing it had run slightly from the night before. Before just realizing it would be a lot easier if she took it all off. She wasn’t wearing heavy makeup, but it was just enough to hide what she thought were imperfections.

She wasn’t wearing anything, so she just threw on all of her other clothes and threw her hair up.

When she exited the ensuite, he was still sleeping in the bed, but his clothes were strewn across the room. She paused her thoughts to clean up his clothes and put them in his laundry basket.

She touched her nose to test if it was still warm and painful, which brought all the pain to the forefront, and it was still warm to the touch, she knew it was inflamed from the head-butting incident and looking in the mirror.

She didn’t think it would hurt this much, and she winced at the pain.

Jason would start groaning in his sleep, she assumed it was because they didn’t close the blackout curtains before they had their fun the night before. So she went to go close them when he went and grabbed her thigh, she laughed quietly.

“Good morning, Jason,” she said as she closed the curtains before  leaning down to see his face, and what was obvious bedhead.

“Hi,” he whispered before pulling her back into his bed.

She laughed, “Sorry, baby. I had to get up and get dressed.”

“Lame,” he whispered and curled into her.

“Jay, you’re naked,” she said.

“Thank you Sherlock Holmes.”

“Oh shut it, you should get dressed,” she suggested.

“Yeah, I should,” he said as he left the bed, crawling over her and going to his dresser, thank God he didn’t have any IVs and blood bags anymore, so he could walk without having to drag those around anymore.

She didn’t stare at him, because he nose started pounding and she whimpered.

“You alright, Y/N?” Jason asked her.

“Yeah sorry, my nose is killing me.”

“Well that’s what happens when you head-butt someone.”

She laughed, “I’m sorry okay, I panicked.”

“That part’s obvious.”

“You could pretend to care that I’m hurt, Jay,” she joked.

He laughed as he put on his boxers and his pants, “I could, but I also think you were being reckless, I worry,” he searched for a shirt, “I worry that us being together is putting you in danger,” he said as he found a shirt.

“Well, I like the danger, if there is any.”

“I’m pretty sure there’s a danger,” he put on his shirt and fumbled with his hair, “It’s obviously because you’re attached to Bruce, you heard that man ‘I wonder what Bruce will give me for you’ he knew we had money. You need your car back.”

“I can’t afford the fees,” she sighed.

“Bruce can pay them, you know.”

“God no, I would feel so bad, I’ll just take the subway or something.”

He sighed and went back to her, cupping her face, “Please let my dad pay the fees, it’s dangerous out there,” he leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, “I can’t stand that you got hurt linked to your shenanigans with me,” he kissed her.

“I guess it’s me being protective,” he said, “But I think it’s a reasonable thing to be concerned about, Y/N.”

“I’ll figure it out, I swear.”

“You figuring this out involved you head-butting your attacker, I get it was quick thinking, but my god woman, that was dangerous,” he said.

“You literally got stabbed protecting your best friend,” she argued.

“Okay, good point, but I’m prettier than you so I win,” he joked.

“What kind of fucking logic is that you bastard!” she joked.

“The kind of star-crossed lovers or something, I don’t know, I don’t write, you do.”

“I’ll sell our story to Warner Brothers, we’ll make millions off of us.”

“Two lovers, harassed by the press in the media, spend most of their time hiding and protecting themselves from the disgusting eyes of the media and the man who attacked one of them,” he said in a news broadcaster voice, “Amazing, isn’t it?” he joked.

“The kind of story Artemis said Dick would eat up.”

“Oh, he would. Man’s a sucker for a romantic story.”

“Well, maybe he can sell his and Barbara’s romantic story to the Warner Brothers, he’d probably make millions too, if it’s worth anything.”

“Well, they’ve known each other for years, and when they finally started dating, myself, Steph, Cass, Tim and Damien all celebrated to an extent, we all saw it coming from all those years of them knowing each other,” he paused, “They actually fought a lot when they were younger before they dated, it would be normal to hear Dick and Barbs going at it about how they hated each other.”

“That’s such a meet-cute stone-cold-woman meets goofy guy story that I hate it.”

He laughed, “They’re so gooey, it’s so cute that I want to vomit.”

“That’s valid. We should be cuter so that they want to vomit.”

“I like your thinking, Y/N.”

“You always do, I have good ideas, Jason.”

“Only sometimes.”

She laughed. It was true, someone with always good ideas wouldn’t have head-butted her attacker, but it’s not like she carried knives or guns around to defend herself. She was considering getting a conceal-carry permit, just because she truly was shaken up by the event.

But a little trauma makes for good stories, and her story with Jason was just starting.

--------------------------------------

Dick decided he’d drive her to her class that day, she didn’t think it mattered that much, her attack, but she realized that a lot of them didn’t want to see her hurt, even if they barely knew her.

She figured it was a kindness that they all possessed. She heard stories of the Waynes paying off waitress’/waiters’ student debts. She heard stories of the Waynes being polite to their ‘lower’ counterparts of the world. She knew they wer kind people, so she wasn’t shocked when Dick insisted he drive her to her class.

“So, Y/N, what are your intentions with my brother?” Dick joked.

“Oh no, not this, I haven’t prepared my answerers for this exam,” she retorted.

“No, its a pop quiz, you have no chance to prepare.”

“Fuck. Can I drop out of this class?”

“How would you even accomplish that?”

“Tuck and roll out of the car, probably,” she joked.

“You ever done that before?”

“Nope, you?”

“Did it on a dare, Jase dared me.”

“And he calls me reckless,” she laughed.

“Well, we were still in high school at the time, we’re supposed to be reckless,” Dick said.

“You ever met a college kid? We’re supposed to be reckless too.”

“He’ll get over it in time, Y/N. I promise. He just needs time to accept that you’re going to be as reckless and opinionated as he is, no one really refuses each other like you two do, and I’m sure you don’t mean it to be like that.”

“I think you’re reading too far into it, Dick, we make compromises.”

“Then why is your car still an issue? Bruce can cover the cost no questions asked.”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Maybe it’s something to think about.”

“Are you always this brotherly? I need to know what I’m getting into here.”

He laughed, “You really do keep out of the press, don’t you?”

She took that as a yes, he is that brotherly and would continue to be. She didn’t mind, she never had a brother growing up so this would take some time to get used to, but she did not mind at all. She just figured she’d have to keep her partying ways even further down in the depths of her secrets.

They didn’t need to know what she did and what was done to her, she even ignored those problems herself. If they came out, then so be it, but if she could keep them hidden, she would.

“What were you like back in high school?” Dick asked, trying to fill the silence.

“Probably not the type of person that your dad would want Jason to be with,” she admitted.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Honestly? I don’t want to talk about it. You’d probably have to get me hammered to talk to you about it.”

“Well, maybe one day you’ll go to a gala. And after you’re wasted, I’ll ask you about it.”

“I’ll hold you to it.”

“I’m sure you will, Dick. I’m sure you will.”

“Well, we’re here,” he said, “You have my number right?” 

“I do, I do.”

“Good, call me if you need me to come get you and take you home, or to the Manor. Either or, no questions asked,” he laughed, “I expect the same when you have your car back, to be fair.”

“Consider it a deal, thanks Dick.”

“Anytime, really.”

She closed the door and waved him off, but when he pulled out of the lot, the press was at Y/N’s ass. She ran though, she ran far to get out of there.

Class was the usual. She wrote her normal psychology notes, sitting in her class, concentrating as she scribbled down the notes that she struggled to read.

When she was done and getting read to call Dick to come get her, her old friends from Metropolis showed up at her school.

“Hey! Y/N!” Christopher yelled when he saw her leave her class.

“Oh my god?” she said before running to hug him, “What the fuck are you doing here, dude?” she questioned, before looking at the rest of the car and seeing Justine, Kaitlin and Thomas, “What the fuck are all  of you doing here?”

“C’mon party girl, we’re taking you to your pale, you get dressed, and we’re going out,” Justine urged Y/N to join them, “Just like old times, man.”

“Yeah! We haven’t partied in weeks since you got your scholarship! We know you’re busy and trying to discipline yourself, but we can go party every once in a while, girl!” Kaitlin added.

“You know we miss you too,” Thomas finished.

“Alright, I need no more convincing, let’s get going,” she said as she hopped into the car and they went going to her house. She thought on the drive there, What if I fall back into old habits, and I’m doing so well, what if I fall off?

She couldn’t have more thoughts because before she knew it, she was in her house sending Jason a quick text,

Hey baby, I can’t come over tonight. Old friends came by.

Oh. I hope you have fun, I’ll probably be with my brothers. how did you even get home?

They drove me. I promise I’ll be over tomorrow and you’ll have me all day and night long, though.

That. That is exciting.

It should be.

She got dressed.

And she sent Jason a photo of what she was wearing (like the picture above) just to get him going. Before running out of her place and hopping back into the car.

“You always dress to impress, don’t you?” Thomas asked.

“I dress like I know what I’m doing,” Y/N joked.

“Never change, Y/N, never change,” Justine joked back.

------------------------ 

She walked into the club she frequented back when she was in high school, but the Gotham one. She had a fake ID, and she used it well and was in the club before the rest of her group knew it.

Justine would grab her hand and take her to the bar, Fuck, she thought, Here we go. And they ordered drinks. 

The rest of the night was a blur of people, drinks and her friends.

She knew she overdid it from the minute she woke up, in her bed, feeling around for her phone in her messed up and torn up sheets. Het body was covered in bruises, she noticed between harsh blinks from the pouding headache she was nursing. She remembered why she didn’t party as hard anymore. She didn’t even know how she got home that night. She found her phone and turned it on, 8:00am it read. She checked her messages, adn there was Jason, at 7:00am he said;

Are you awake yet? 

To which, she replied: I am, why?

How drunk were you last night?

I think blackout. I don’t remember much. 

I can tell.

Tell me I didn’t do anything stupid.

You did something stupid.

What did I do?

You called me at 3am and told me you loved me, followed by saying you threw up at one of your friends. I don’t even know how you got home.

Well that’s not that bad.

You told me about your past.

Oh.

When were you going to tell me you’re a recovering alcoholic?

I don’t know.

Come here. Come over. We need to discuss this.

Alright, alright. I’ll be there soon.

Dick will come get you in an hour, actually. Don’t leave the house without him.

I won’t.

She got up and looked at the mirror at herself. She was covered in bruises, her makeup was smudged, her eyes looked sunken in and her hair was a mess. She sighed, knowing she fucked up, and wiped off her makeup and got in the shower. She quickly showered and put on a turtleneck and a pair of jeans.

It was to hide the bruises from Jason. She assumed someone had physically assaulted her, possibly sexually. She only had that thought once before she pushed it very far down and swallowed it. She went to go make coffee, but her head was racing at the ideas of last night and what she said.

She was fucked up and she did fuck up. She knew she shouldn’t have drank. but she did. And she knew Jason was either really pissed or really sympathetic. She was scared at how much she might have discussed when Dick honked his horn and she left the house.

In the car, Dick tried to break the silence, “You should have told someone, anyone. We’re all really good at listening, Y/N.”

She wiped away a few tears that were pooling.

“You didn’t need to hide from us, Y/N.”

“I do.”

“No, Y/N, you don’t. Jason’s probably more mad that you didn’t tell him over you actually being a recovering alcoholic. You called him last night and let it all spill out. Everyone knows, you don't need to hide anymore.”

“Of course I did,” she said, swallowing more tears and her voice breaking.

She wanted her past as an alcoholic to die when she moved out of the city, because she didn’t want everyone to know how broken she was, fighting with addiction. A lot of her anxieties and treatments of people make sense with her past addictions, but that doesn’t mean she liked them.

She hated that girl, the wild party child who almost drank herself to death, her body was just recovering fully from her escapades when she went out clubbing. She knew this was going to be an issue, but she didn’t know how to fix it.

He looked over at her and caught eye at one of her bruises that was peaking over her turtleneck. He tried to not stare, but she noticed.

“Don’t ask about it, Dick. I don’t know what happened.”

“I think you two will get through this.”

“I hope we do, but realistically,” she paused.

“Don’t think like that.”

They pulled into the driveway and the minute Dick unlocked her door, she was out of there, speed walking to the door and then to Jason’s room.

She opened the door to find him reading a book, she would have smiled at this, had she not been certain that they were about to fight.

“Jason?”

“Oh. You’re here.”

“Yeah, I just-” 

He cut her off and got up from his bed, looking ever-so disappointed in her as he walked to the door of his room. She expected the fight to take place in the hall, so she tried to step back when he grabbed her forearm with one of his hands and yanked her into his room. She assumed maybe, just maybe his room was soundproof so his family wouldn't have to hear the yelling. He closed the door once she was in and stared at her.

She gulped, expecting him to let loose on the argument now about her drinking and her confessing she was a recovering alcoholic, but instead, he pulled her into a hug, which she yelped at.

“Jason?” she said, shocked.

“Shh,” he broke from the hug and cupped her face, “It’s okay, really.”

“But I hid it from you...”

“You know, we’ve only known each other two weeks or something, right? I get you hiding it, I just wish it didn’t come out like that,” he laughed and kissed her quickly, “Besides-” he noticed the bruise on her neck, “What’s that?” he asked, grabbing her hand and clutching it.

“There’s...”

“There’s more?” he asked.

“What, I mean, uh... uh... no?” she stuttered.

“Take your shirt off.”

“Jason...”

“Or tell me the truth.”

“Baby-”

“So there’s more, who hurt you? Did you fall?” he asked, getting a little bit heated, really squeezing her hand.

“I don’t know.”

He cupped her face, “That’s okay,” he leant his forehead against hers, “It’s okay, I promise, I do. I just really don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I don’t try to,” she said.

“Seems like trouble likes to follow you,” he said.

“Well, you found your way to me so I’d have to agree,” she joked.

“Ha ha. How’s your nose?” he said as he broke contact with her to go sit on his bed, she followed.

“It still hurts, but I can’t tell if that’s from last night or from my shenanigans with the attacker.”

“It could honestly be a combination of both, depending on what happened to you, have you asked your friends for the full story yet?”

“No. I’ve been scared to.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“I’m going to. Right now.”

“I support your decision on that,” he said as he turned on the TV in his room, but then Y/N paused.

“Y/N?”

“Reports are in of a group of friends, who all got arrested last night, for bodily harm of a man who attempted to rape their friend, Police say., the suspects in the attack are Christopher Green, Justine Wong, Kaitlin Benoit and Thomas Harthrew. More to be coming soon.”

“Thank god that girl had those friends.”

She turned to Jason, “So,” she paused, “I’m glad you think that, because, those are my friends.”

[justalokifanaccount]

Episode 2-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)

Ooooooh mysterious...

Oh so this variant can (at least briefly) cont people with a simple touch? No need for a scepter?

I NEED A HEROOO!

Oh this variant is taking that lady away? I wonder why

Miss Minutes is gonna move me to violence

Loki is me studying

Hahahahaha get her Loki!

Loki, leave Mobius’ magazines alone

Wow he got into the work force rather fast huh? Bit of a whiplash type scenario considering the end of episode one

No, YOU’RE a cosmic mistake! 😤 my boy looks hot regardless

Sooooo Loki is the most common variant? Why does this not surprise me?

Is... is he a football cup champion??? Omg 😂

Smart boy. Illusion projecting is different than duplication casting. Neato. LISTEN TO MY SMART BOY. RESPECT HIM.

Dude loves wheeling

Yea Loki. Work on getting to the time keepers. Overthrow the government.

Dude is smart with these questions.

Propaganda is INDEED exhausting so that’s fair

Fist hostage... maybe he’s (or she?) gonna use her as a body transfer like Loki in the comics with Sif?

Oh please let this be a genuine smart Loki moment and not just setting him up as a joke and embarrassment...

“Where there are wolf’s ears, wolf’s teeth are near.” Good to know basic mammalian anatomy is still applicable to Asgardian wolves...

Cmon Loki do something cool. Please. Please Loki. Please.

Preach my man, but please, do something cool. My anxiety that you’ll be turned into a joke is spiking.

Is he actually waiting outside or is Loki really just trying to mess with them and throw them off? Or is he just being too cocky for his own good and it’s gonna mess him up? Please please please don’t disappoint me. I have merch for this show already that I can’t return

Bargain baby, bar again. Do it.

Is he actually concerned for the time keepers orrrrrr

Dangit Mobius

Does... being reset... hurt?

Bye C-20 I guess... for now? We’ll see

Of course it’s a friggin theremin that’s playing

Mobius x Judge Renslayer? Oooooooh. Tsundere Renslayer.

Use a coaster my man

Oh her first name is Ravonna

Controversy is the best thing though

You can never understand this Loki. As soon as you begin to understand, he changes. He’s unpredictable.

“I know you have a soft spot for broken things.” Ah, so this entire fandom then?

“But Loki is an evil, lying scourge.” YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU WENCH!

“That is the part he plays in the sacred timeline.” Well you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention to the files then, hm? Here, let me redirect you to one of the many character analyses I’ve written. Now if you read here........

He doesn’t need to change. He’s already not evil

I don’t trust Renslayer or the time keepers... or Renslayer WITH the time keepers... I think she plays a bigger, antagonistic role than I thought.

You just TRY and delete him Mobius... just... TRY... I will find a way to break the fourth wall and no time keepers can keep you safe from the rage of a million fan girls. Nothing... we don’t need magic...

Omg Loki just sitting there in a chair outside the office like a kid while their parent is talking with the teacher about their “recent behavior”.

Cmon Loki, you don’t need to make excuses or impress him.

My poor boy is SOOO out of his zone.

Tbf mobius, you ASKED. You asked what makes him tick.

Hey hey hey, let’s not gaslight my boy...

The Loki is... uhhh something... gotta keep my hopes up. Trust in Tom Hiddleston...

Mobius showing his true colors...

Please Loki... be badass... not just a joke... please please please... PLEASE!

Mobius, play nice.

I hope this “superior” Loki thing, if it is a female, isn’t a desperate attempt at feminism pandering, chocking up her “superiority” to being female. Please give the characters real stories. Flesh them out.

Juice box time?

No?

More homework?

Bugger...

The sass is off the charts

Librarian lady gonna get killed

Oh boy

Pffffft—

I miss Casey.

Hey don’t ignore Loki. That’s rude.

Bell is the answer?

Poor Loki. Stop trying to fit in. You are best when you are genuinely yourself.

What’s to stop Loki from grabbing the other files?

Homework... I thought I escaped this when I graduated...

Whatcha seeing there?

Oh...

Bye bye Asgard...

Cmon... not more feels.

AGGHHHHHHHH

Please allow him confirmation of Thor’s survival and beating of Thanos!!! He needs that confirmation! He needs that reassurance.

Hear him out Mobius.

“He’s hiding in apocalypses.” Sooooo is that why they go to presumably Mount Vesuvius? I assume?

Mobius, let Loki have your salad.

Rip salad

CASEY

Casey’s juice box

Poor Casey and mobius salad...

Loki, your logic astounds me.

Well, pushing Hulk off of the bridge WOULD have an effect...

VESUVIUS HERE WE COME

He hasn’t really stabbed anyone in the back... except Thor... but not 50 times

Pompeii, here we come!

Ooooooh we gonna see Loki dance with a lady? 😏 get ittttt

Well, if you do cause a branch, can’t you just reset the timeline?

CAUSE SOME CHAOS MY LOVELY MAN

OMG IM HEARING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SPEAK ITALIAN

I can die happy now

Loki... you look insane.

Uhhh run

Okay you’re good

Sleepy Loki

Let him sleep!

Soooo, I mean, technically, Loki’s actions would still cause the timeline to change, but said change wouldn’t have an impact on the future, just the current moment... so shouldn’t it still be detected by the TVA? At least as a little fleck?

Jet skis?

Omg I just snorted at Loki begrudgingly agreeing with Mobius that jet skis are awesome

Mobius offending my History Teachers for 50 minutes straight... that’s it. That’s the episode.

Mobius really in love with jet skis for some reason

We better get to see Mobius on a jet ski

Fighting for jet skis?

Lol mobius has a point about the magical Asgardians and Jötunns

Glorious purpose

Cmon Loki, destroy this man’s beliefs.

OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT

DO IT

TEAM UP AND THROW THE TIMELINE INTO CHAOS

How would you know what the time keepers are doing when you’ve never met them?

How can you meet in peace at the end of time with no chaos?

“You see, I know something children don’t. That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.”

Mobius, don’t patronize my boy. Go jet skiing.

“I know.” Oh good, that point in the trailer was edited.

No candy on Asgard? Poor Loki.

May the best man win? Well that automatically means Loki.

Getting National Treasure vibes

Love you

Alabama will still exist in 2050? That’s disappointing.

Roxxcart.

Loki is very smart. Thank you show.

Renslayer, if you claim Mobius is your friend, trust him.

Kachow!

“For all time.” “Always.” TVA is definitely a cult.

Weapon?

WEAPON!

...weapon???

no weapon...

Meanie...

Are we gonna see what this Loki variant looks like?

I have a feeling this variant is gonna be the female, blonde (I’m so sorry, at the moment I forget her name) in those pictures we saw. Guessing because 1) she was wearing a Loki outfit. 2) her and tom Hiddleston were wet in that picture as if rained on 3) the scene when they enter Roxxcart occurs when it starts to rain due to the upcoming massive storm. So I’m placing all of my money on the table the Loki variant is Lady Loki. Blonde, for some reason. (Or maybe she just didn’t have a wig on in the picture of her we saw?)

Yea please don’t prune this Loki.

Storms a brewing

Good to know Alabama, at some point, does get destroyed. That’s comforting. (Btw this is a joke. I have nothing against Alabama lol. Idk why my brain thought this was funny lol.)

All wet and rainy.

HAHAHAHA USE THAT MAGIC BABY

LET MOBIUS STICK WITH LOKI

Ooh ooh! Is Loki gonna use powers to yoink the roomba here?

Uh oh. Forgot to take into consideration that most big businesses, especially stores, have security cameras, huh?

Times ticking...

Wait was that a reset charge?

Awkward silence

Spookyyyy

Poor dude lol

Or not

Hmmm

Oh???

I RECOGNIZE THAT MAGIC!!! ITS HER!!!

HUNTER (forget her number) IS THE LOKI VARIANT!!! When was she replaced? Or was she always the variant?

That or the other Loki is projecting herself into the hunter? Maybe used the shopping dude as a conduit?

Moment of realization

Smiling contest

No no, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki is superior. I don’t care who else tries to play Loki, Tom IS Loki.

Oh no

Baby crying?

These poor people...

No need to be rough

Is Mobius genuinely caring

Oh... poor C-20

Team up please? Please?

Ah so they really can just send themself into any body they wish, huh? Just by touch?

Loki, learn that trick please.

Sooo, is the other variant Loki’s body tangible? Do they project their conscience into other bodies via touch, or do they not have a corporeal body and rely on others to exist?

Doctor Who vibes

TEAM UP PLEASE

YES

Please

Please?

Offended by Loki name?

Haha sympathy for Thor

Go randy.

Soooo what are you interested in if not ruling the TVA?

Who’s that planting charges? The real body of the other variant Loki?

You okay C-20? (Off topic her actress reminds me of the actress who played Ava Star aka Ghost in Ant-Man and the Wasp) what is real and what about it is so mind capturing for you?

Oh no

Poor girl

Cmon B-15

Hello?

Reset charge

Oh? Bye bye?

HEY!

That’s rude

I miss Randy too

Cmon Loki fight like the badass I know you are

Please

HAHA! TELEKINESIS

Cartwheel WEEEEE

Oooh he swore

Lokis have a pattern of swearing only while taking other peoples forms

Cmon Loki. Go back to mobius. Help them. Prove your goodness. Please.

Poor trucker man

Hello?

Hello!

Fave reveal?

I KNEW IT

Oh????

Flashlights?

RUN!

Is this actually a Loki variant or just sylvie? Or Amora?

Uh oh...

What’s happening

Is she absolutely destroying the timeline?

Poor Doctor Strange. I wonder if he knows about the TVA?

Loki is all alone? Why is he standing still?

Where is she going?

Cmon Loki... help them please...

Loki...

CLIFF HANGER

NOOOOO I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGHHHHHHHH

Are they gonna be okay?

How is the variant traveling?

What is her goal?

Why is Loki going after her?

Why is Loki leaning towards the apparent evil side?

Is this actually lady Loki or sylvie or amora since her hair is blonde?

WHAT IS HAPPENING???

So much just happened in so little time. It’s like Marvel wants to slowly spoon feed us with the first 3/4 of the episode and then in the last 1/4, they waterboard us.

Why is this female Loki variant so much more powerful?

So Loki DID know what was going on at the Renaissance fair and was intentionally stalling for her... why?

Her horned helmet is similar to the one kid(?) Loki wears in the comics. One horn broken. How did that happen? Why does she still wear it, especially if she doesn’t want to be called Loki?

No end credit scene yet.

[this-is-quite-homoerotic]

Another Janto AU idea I’ll probably never write

Okay, this one’s a bit weird. TRUST ME THOUGH, I WON’T LET YOU DOWN!

(Warning: there is no underage, I swear. In case it looks like that’s where I’m heading, I promise I’m not.)

I’ve been thinking about the Jack&Owen father/son dynamic and the Owen&Ianto brothers dynamic and.

No-aliens Modern day AU where a young Jack marries Owen’s mum after a short and tumultuous love affair when Owen’s a kid. The marriage doesn’t last, Jack starts growing out of love with her when he sees how she treats little Owen, who at this point would be 7 or so, and soon other flaws he’d been too enamoured to notice start becoming more and bigger issues until the couple breaks up.

Jack is in his early 20s, and if you’d ask him before he married he’d have told you he wasn’t anywhere near ready to be a father. That doesn’t stop him from imprinting on Owen within minutes of meeting him, however, and with the way Owen’s mother treats him, he actually ends up taking him in the divorce, after many rows and a few teary discussions, because he loves the kid, and he can see that she was not actually in the position to raise anyone, for a variety of reasons that I won’t elaborate on here. She does visit him, Jack is always happy to facilitate her visits with Owen, but not terribly often.

It takes a few years, but Jack eventually adopts him legally, with his mother’s blessings. He talks to Owen every step of the way, always listens to what he has to say, always respecting (within reason) what he wants. Through mutual agreement, they never change Owen’s last name.

Jack isn’t the best father ever, by any stretch. It’s a learning curve, and there’s a few big stumbles. But he loves that kid so much, and for the first time in his life Owen has an adult and parental figure who listens attentively to what he has to say, who always asks for his opinion before making any choices that affect him, who would kill and die for him, who loves him, unconditionally, and it makes a difference.

So Owen grows up with love and support, and once he hits puberty he’s only a tiny bit nervous to tell his father he’s bi since Jack has been dating people of all genders on and off since he divorced his mother. Owen was consistently suspicious of all of them, and privately thought none of them was good enough for his father, but he never said it. He did want Jack to be happy, after all. None of them last too long, and in the end it’s always just the two of them. Jack seems happy enough with it, so Owen doesn’t worry.

Anyway, his coming out goes great; Jack is so proud he cries a little and he insists on hugging him even longer than usual. (Jack is a hugger, Owen has resigned himself to it.) Owen huffs and doles out the eye-rolls and the ‘it’s-not-a-big-deal’s and ‘oh my god, dad, you’re so embarrassing’ but he’s secretly very pleased. Jack takes him to pride for the first time that very year, and it becomes a yearly tradition.

Owen befriends Ianto Jones by proxy at first: Ianto was in his group of friends and they ended up hanging out together a lot, first in a group and later more one-on-one. He’s alright, even if he is two whole years younger than him and a bit of a nerd. There is one (1) instance when Owen almost got mad at him, when Ianto asked if he’d been adopted (after another mate of his mentioned something about it). But after he’d replied defensively, he realised Ianto wasn’t trying to be mean about it. At all. 

“That must be great, though. You know for sure that your dad wanted you, was willing to fight to keep you.” That’s how Owen found out about Ianto’s not so great home situation.

So they became mates, and soon Owen starts inviting Ianto over.

Now, the problem with being raised by a young, stunningly attractive single parent, of course, is that all his friends are more likely to have a crush on his father than they are to like him that way. Not that Owen fancies Ianto or anything. But it’s weird, Jack is old.

Ianto, like most of Owen’s female friends and some of his guy friends, develops a crush on his father. Fucking hell. The little shit keeps sneaking furtive little glances Jack’s way, and whenever Jack actually addresses him, he smiles beatifically and pretends he’s not the acerbic juvenile delinquent he really is (as if Owen would hang out with him if he was that boring). He perks up whenever Jack is around; smiles all the time. It’s bizarre.

Jack doesn’t notice. Once the initial weirdness wears off, Owen thinks it’s hilarious that his father can’t see through Ianto’s polite, helpful little boy facade. So he doesn’t say anything. He just enjoys the show. It goes like this: Ianto comes over, they hang out for a while. Jack gets home from work, Ianto gets starry eyed and promptly becomes this alien perfectly-behaved A-student right in front of Owen’s very amused eyes. Ianto’s crush goes right over Jack’s head the entire time. Owen gets to laugh at Ianto being flustered and/or pretending to have perfect manners, and Ianto gets whatever dopamine rush he gets from staring at Jack. Win-win.

They keep in touch when Owen goes to uni and later when Ianto goes to a different one, but they don’t see each other very often and eventually grow distant. Yadda yadda, life happens and eventually they re-connect.

Ianto introduces Owen to a friend of his, Katie, obnoxiously telling her that while he isn’t as hot as his father, he’ll do. (Katie fully believes he’s joking until Owen brings her home to meet Jack. She still thinks Owen is hotter, but she can see what Ianto meant, certainly. “That’s love for you,” Ianto laments. “It blinds you.” Owen pretends to be offended.)

The thing is, Owen falls head-over-heels with Katie. He’s absolutely gone on her, and after discussing it a little to make sure she’s on the same page as him, he pops the question. Ianto is, of course, invited to the wedding.

So that’s how we get to 25-year-old Ianto seeing early-to-mid 40s Jack again for the first time in almost a decade. For the first time ever, Jack sees him right back.

Understandably, Jack feels a little guilty about noticing how nicely his son’s younger friend looks in a suit, but there’s no harm in looking, right? The ceremony is lovely, Jack cries (and so does Owen, though he glares when anyone mentions it), after which they swiftly move on to the party.

Deep into the night, late enough that the bride and groom have retired to start their honeymoon, Jack is having one more drink as he watches the mostly drunk guests dance and toast to the happy couple. He’s feeling old and maudlin and so happy for his son that his chest could burst, when Ianto makes his move.

Talking leads to snogging leads Ianto pushing Jack up against an out-of the-way wall and whispering all the dirty things he’d like to do to him in that sinful Welsh accent leads to them falling in bed together at Jack’s hotel room and staying there for the next several hours (not all of them spent awake).

Jack, having had no clue that Ianto had harbored an intense teenage crush on him and had been dreaming about this for literal years, figured it was just a one-night-thing brought about by loneliness or boredom.

The morning after, however, Ianto formally asks him out.

Jack protests (only a little, and with no real force behind it) that he’s almost twice Ianto’s age, surely he can’t mean to actually date him. Ianto assures him that he does.

They go out to have a very late brunch. It’s their first official date, and Jack has more fun than he’s had in years. Ianto, who’d only thought of Jack infrequently if still fondly during the years he hadn’t seen him, is positively giddy. Turns out seeing Jack again was all it took for the attraction to come roaring back. But now he can really get to know Jack as an adult, beyond the fantasies he made up as a hormonal teen. The real man holds up surprisingly well against the fantasy. 

Ianto confesses his teenage crush, confesses that he wondered what Jack might look like after all these years when he realised he’d be seeing him again at the wedding, but he never in a million years had expected Jack to somehow look even more delectable than he had back then. (Jack doesn’t blush, but he wants to. They end up right back in his hotel bed once they’re done with brunch.)

Truth is, Jack hadn’t expected it to last, not really. He’d hoped to have some fun with a gorgeous young man before said man got bored and moved on without him. He didn’t expect to fall in love. He certainly didn’t expect, wouldn’t have believed that sleepy morning when he’d woken up in the arms of a warm, sleep-soft Welshman who asked to take him out on a proper date, that a man young enough to be his son and handsome enough to have his choice of partner would be falling in love with him.

Owen choked on his own laughter when Jack told him Ianto had taken him out on that first date. “I cannot believe it. He did it. He actually did it. The absolute mad lad. It only took him a decade, but he did it. That crazy motherfucker. Fatherfucker. Oh my god, fatherfucker.” Then he started cackling again. Jack was too relieved he wasn’t upset about it to be offended. Despite Ianto’s reassurances that there had never been anything other than strictly platonic friendship between him and Owen, Jack still had the tiniest of worries that Owen might have harbored a crush on Ianto back in his teens. He’d invited Ianto more often than any of his other friends, and the atmosphere had always been different with him, though Jack had never managed to put his finger on how, back then.

Owen laughed even harder when Jack carefully broached the subject. “Are you kidding me? He was too busy ogling you to ever notice me, thank Christ. Would have been awkward if he did, I always saw him more as a little brother, really.” Well, didn’t that make Jack feel supremely awkward. His son saw his latest lover as a little brother. Weird, even by Jack’s standards. At least Ianto’s teenage crush confession was true. Still a bit weird, but flattering, now that that kid had grown into a gorgeous young man who still found Jack 'disarmingly attractive’ (his words).

“Of course you have my blessings,” Owen griped good-naturedly when Ianto called to ask. In retrospect, calling him during his honeymoon with the woman he loved who he’d only met because Ianto had introduced them had been a good tactical decision. He was feeling charitable towards him, and he was too high on love and sex to begrudge Ianto this.

“Thank you. You can call me ‘Tad’ if you want,” Ianto countered, because he was still a little shit with a sarcastic streak a mile wide and a penchant for annoying Owen even when he was technically begging for his blessing to date Owen’s father.

“Fuck off,” Owen told him, but there was no bite to it, he sounded amused if anything, and Ianto knew then that Owen had meant it.

“Of course. I won’t rush you. I can wait until it feels organic, son.”

Owen hung up on him. Less than a minute later, Ianto got a text message that said. ‘If you break his heart, I’ll kick your arse xoxo’. He sent back a string of heart emojis.

A year and a half later, Ianto called Owen to tell him he was planning to propose. Owen demanded to be his best man.

The year Owen turned thirty-one, Jack and Ianto adopted two siblings (a little boy and a baby girl). They named Owen their godfather (yes, both of them).

That day, as Owen was asked to sign the papers that would legally make him the children’s guardian in case anything happened to their fathers, he remembered the day he met Jack, when his mother had brought him over for the first time. He remembered, a bit blurry due to time, the talks Jack and his mother had had with him when they were in the process of splitting up, how Jack had fought to convince them both that he should be the one to raise Owen. He recalled, like a much-beloved photograph he took out to stare at when he needed it, the well-worn memory of walking into their new house for the first time, and realising that it was real, that Jack really did mean to adopt him, that he’d really be living with him from then on; that Jack really wanted him. He remembered all the times Jack had told him that family wasn’t blood, family was love, and trust, and commitment. And he remembered, with perfect, stunning clarity, a 15-year-old Ianto telling him he’d like to adopt when he was older, even if he ended up with someone who could get pregnant.

He also remembered a 15-year-old Ianto making heart eyes at his father in their living-room while Owen struggled not to laugh at him, and really, one had to respect a man who stuck to his convictions. Ianto certainly knew what he wanted and put in the work to get it.

At least he was pretty sure he could trust Ianto with Jack’s heart.

(Epilogue:

Because Ianto has a terrible sense of humour, he spends an entire summer calling Owen ‘son’ and ‘kid’ and ‘sport’. Owen makes a face the first couple of times, but he’s brought around pretty quickly between 1) the way Katie laughs whenever Ianto does this, and 2) the bewildered looks it gets them whenever someone hears it, because not only is Ianto younger than Owen, he also looks it. It makes for interesting situations.

So rather than be annoyed, Owen starts to enjoy it. He decides to lean into it, starts calling Ianto ‘tad’ and ‘dad’ and ‘father’, and one memorable time ‘the man who literally birthed me’. Katie chokes on her drink and laughs so hard her abdomen hurts for the next day. Jack actually falls off his chair laughing. Ianto looks like butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, the little shit.

And they were a loving family who were disgustingly happy for the rest of their lives and never had tragedy befall them, not even once, the end.)

[kayliemusing]

42: top 3s

1: Top 3 ice cream flavors - classic vanilla, birthday cake/birthday batter, bubblegum

2: Top 3 Disney Movies - Mulan, Onward, Soul (but this changes frequently lol)

3: Top 3 vacation destinations - I've never been outside of my home country so I'll say my top 3 DREAM destinations: NYC, Hawaii, a random countryside in either France or the UK

4: Top 3 places to shop - Dynamite, Sephora, Winners/Homesense

5: Top 3 subjects of study/classes to take - English/anything creative writing related, Interior Decorating/Design, Communications?

6: Top 3 make up products - YSL Touche Eclat Foundation, literally any Mac Lipstick but it has to be matte, & Fenty Beauty contour stick

7: Top 3 music artists - Taylor Swift - Of Monsters and Men - The Lumineers

8: Top 3 spices/herbs - Cinnamon - Nutmeg (literally tastes like autumn) - Paprika

9: Top 3 drinks - Diet Coke - Hot Chocolate - Vanilla Bean Frappe

10: Top 3 apps to use - Instagram - Pinterest -iBooks

11: Top 3 months of the year - May, October, December

12: Top 3 clothing items - My black/white turtle neck, high waisted jeans, plaid blazer

13: Top 3 binge perfect tv shows - Bones, Supernatural, Brooklyn Nine Nine

14: Top 3 romantic dates - (I've never been on a date but if I had, it would be this) Evening walk, late night drive, late night coffee date (tbh anything at night feels romantic)

15: Top 3 kinds of flower - Water lilies, cherry blossoms, roses

16: Top 3 christmas movies - A Christmas Carol (2009), Home Alone, The Polar Express

17: Top 3 OTPs - Nesta and Cassian from ACOTAR series by SJM, Manon and Dorian from Throne of Glass series by SJM, Casteel and Poppy from From Blood and Ash series by JLM.

18: Top 3 quotes to describe your life - "I write not to find, but to leave" by Scherezade Siobhan - "I want to be myself again. I want to be six. I want to stop knowing everything I know" by Catherynne M. Valente - "The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get" by Joanna Hoffman.

19: Top 3 characteristics you love about yourself - my kindness bc it's not surface level kindness, but actually something deeply rooted within me - my resilience even tho sometimes it doesn't feel like resilience - my loyalty bc it is a hard as steel kind of loyalty

20: Top 3 kinds of candy - Maltesers, Kit kats, smarties

21: Top 3 ways to exercise/ be active - Walking, dancing, mowing the lawn/shoveling the sidewalk

22: Top 3 spirit animals - wolf, hummingbird, tiger (i googled it bc i didn't know and i was scared it was a joke but)

23: Top 3 petnames - I like 'lovebug', 'love', 'sweetheart'

24: Top 3 books read outside of school - The Hating Game by Sally Thorne, A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas but viewers discretion is advised, Crush by Richard Siken

25: Top 3 most used websites - Youtube, Tumblr, Pinterest

26: Top 3 people you last texted - my mom, my bestie megan, and my sister bc they're the only people i text...

27: Top 3 hashtags you use - the only time i use hashtags is if i'm trying to promote some of my writing so I'll usually use writingcommunity, writersonig, poetryonig lol

28: Top 3 instagram accounts you follow - Trista Mateer, Griefmother, obviously taylor swift

29: Top 3 guilty pleasures - buzzfeed quizzes, early 2000s music, romance novels

30: Top 3 summer activities - Going to the zoo, long evening walks, campfires and s'mores

31: Top 3 things to draw/doodle - hearts, flowers, random swirls bc it's the only thing i can doodle...

32: Top 3 aesthetics - cityscape aesthetic, autumn aesthetic, rustic aesthetic

33: Top 3 things you'd buy if you gained three million dollars - a new car, a condo, another cat

34: Top 3 ways to treat yourself - facial, a large bag of maltesers, buying the makeup i really want but have been putting off

35: Top 3 celebrity crushes - Evan Peters, Matthew Daddario, henry cavill

36: Top 3 books from your childhood - Love You Forever by Robert Munsch, The Big Friendly Giant by Roald Dahl, and Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmens

37: Top 3 accents to hear - Australian, super poshy british accent, new zealand accent

38: Top 3 scents - Fresh rain, vanilla, sweet cinnamon pumpkin from bath and body works

39: Top 3 "Friends" quotes - "WE WERE ON A BREAK" -Ross, "Guess things were just going too well for me" -also ross, and "it's so exhausting waiting for death" - phoebe

40: Top 3 cupcake flavors - tbh I haven't tried that many cupcakes so your typical vanilla, chocolate, and Pink Lady Cupcake from Babycakes Cupcakery

41: Top 3 fruits - Pomegranates, Strawberries, Raspberries

42: Top 3 places you've had amazing pizza from - Pizzahut, Dominos, Pizza73

43: Top 3 sports teams to watch - i don't

44: Top 3 crayola colors - uh, i guess red, purple, and pink??

45: Top 3 things you hope to accomplish in college - Certificates/Degrees in Copyediting and Creative Writing, and I think simply just deeper critical thinking skills when it comes to writing and books

46: Top 3 fanfictions you've read - I read more books than fanfics, I've read a couple on tumblr but don't remember the names sorry :/

47: Top 3 people you miss right now - my dad, my best friend bc she's in vancouver, taylor swift bc she's not on tumblr anymore rip

48: Top 3 fears - Failure, Loss, not achieving anything in life/not reaching my full potential

49: Top 3 favorite literary devices - Foreshadowing is always god tier, cliffhangers although evil i love those too, symbolism

50: Top 3 pet peeves - People dragging their shoes on the floor when they walk, when you tell someone your fav hobby/music artist/interest and they immediately go 'oh I hate X!', and people who go 'you're so quiet!!!' but in a way that draws in more attention and/or makes me feel more uncomfortable like i would literally rather die

51: Top 3 physical things you find attractive - Hands, nice hair, defined jawlines

52: Top 3 bad habits - Nailbiting, picking at my blemishes oops, lip biting

53: Top 3 pets you've had/wish to have - Cats bc they complete me, I've always wanted a Samoyed, and I've always wanted a turtle

54: Top 3 types of foreign food - Chicken Chow Mein, deep fried shrimp, japanese chicken wings

55: Top 3 things you want to say to someone in your lifetime - 'I quit', 'I love you', 'you changed my life'

56: Top 3 dog breeds - Samoyed, german shepherds, collies

57: Top 3 cheesy romance movies - You've Got Mail, How To Lose a Guy In 10 Days, 10 Things I Hate About You

58: Top 3 languages you speak/wish to speak - French, Sign, and maybe Japanese?

59: Top 3 series (book, movie, television) - The Cruel Prince series by Holly Black, A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas (but literally only for Cassian and Nesta), From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout

60: Top 3 pizza toppings - Mushrooms, alfredo sauce, pineapple

61: Top 3 youtubers you're subscribed to - Game Grumps, Charlotte Dobre, Megan Batoon

62: Top 3 tattoo / piercing ideas - I want to get a tattoo on my wrist of the last thing my dad ever wrote me, a hummingbird tattoo right next to it, and then a cross on my index finger

63: Top 3 awards you want to win - National Book Awards, Nobel Prize, and maybe even Goodreads Choice Awards lol

64: Top 3 emojis - Laugh/Crying emoji, the please sir emoji that kinda gives off those puss n boots eyes, and the stars emoji

65: Top 3 cars you dream of owning - 1970s Chev Impala, tbh a cute little Hyundai Venue, and maaaaybe the 1964 ferarri 250 gt luso (idk if that name was totally right but i had to do tons of googling to find it. i don't know a lot about cars and i don't really have a top 3 lol)

66: Top 3 authors - Right now I'm really into Sarah J Maas, Sally Thorne, and Holly Black maybe?

67: Top 3 historical figures - Jesus, Anne Frank, Vincent Van Gogh

68: Top 3 baby names - Ryder, Leila, Gracie

69: Top 3 DIYs - Candles, refurnishing old furniture (i.e. my mom and i painted our wooden garbage can), and really just any type of autumn diy

70: Top 3 smoothie combos/flavors - Strawberry/Banana, Mango, Strawberry-Mango

71: Top 3 songs of this month - Happier Than Ever by Billie Eilish, Biblical by Calum Scott, and Visiting Hours by Ed Sheeran

72: Top 3 questions of this post you want to be asked - I did them all bc I made it a survey instead of an ask meme ;)

73: Top 3 villains - Regina/The Evil Queen from Once Upon a Time, Cruella De Vil, and Moriarty from Sherlock

74: Top 3 Cities you want to see - Montreal, NYC, Vancouver (honorable mention: LA)

75: Top 3 recipes you want to try - different kind of salad and/or burger bowls, Stuffed bell peppers, and homemade lemon loaf

76: Top 3 dream jobs - Bestselling author, the person who runs a companies social media accounts, youtuber/blogger

77: Top 3 lucky items - tbh don't have one

78: Top 3 traditions you have - Christmas Eve Service and if I don't go to that at least incorporating reading the christmas story on christmas day or eve, idk if this counts as tradition but going to the corn maze every fall, and whenever it's easter/christmas/thanksgiving we always have a big meal w/ family

79: Top 3 things you miss about being a kid - reckless abandon, dreaming about growing up with hopefulness and no dashed hopes, experiencing holidays like halloween and christmas as a kid

80: Top 3 harry potter characters - I've never read or watched Harry Potter rip (ok well i saw the first and second (and maybe third?) movie in the sixth grade I think) but I think I really liked Hermoine, Harry obviously and Dobby

81: Top 3 lies you were told - i don't have 3, but this one has a story but basically when my sister and i were in elementary school my sister got hit by a car and so the insurance thing was that she would recieve 10k when she was 18 and as a child i thought that was unfair so my dad told me that my sister had to split it with me when we were 18 lmao obviously that didn't happen (i think i realized that wasn't true in middle school)

82: Top 3 pictures in your camera roll right now - Pictures of my cat, one of my sister in a hilarious filter, and a picture of my rocking my TS merch

83: Top 3 turn ons - Kindness, defined jawline, easy going

84: Top 3 turn offs - arrogance, unkempt, super loud and obnoxious

85: Top 3 magazines/news papers/ journals to read - I don't read much of those so I'll tell you some sites I love for writing purpose's: there's Wellstoried, justwriterlythings, springhole.net (which is filled with generators if you're stuck and also tons of infomation and advice)

86: Top 3 things you wish you had known earlier - that toad in Mario Party was wearing a mushroom hat and that it is actually not his head, that immaculate means 'clean' before i misused that word like several times over the years, and that the one turn i always take on my way to work where i thought everyone didn't know how to drive was actually bc i didn't have the right of way rip me

87: Top 3 spongebob episodes - the one episode where spongebob and patrick find a ghost ship, that one episode where they form a bikini bottom band and perform it at a football game in a little fish tank, and the one episode where squidward has his first snowball fight

88: Top 3 places to be in the world - I'd love to be in NYC, Montreal, or Hawaii

89: Top 3 things you'd do differently - I would not have applied for RDC, similarly I should have just paid the 500 dollars to the one certificate program I wanted to do instead of overthinking it, and I wish I wouldn't have ended a friendship the way I did

90: Top 3 TV shows from your childhood - Spongebob Squarepants, That's So Raven, and Hannah Montana

91: Top 3 meals you love - Turkey Burgers, Chilli, and Instant Pot Chicken Tortilla Soup

92: Top 3 kinds of tea - i don't drink tea

93: Top 3 embarrassing moments - one time in sixth grade I tripped and fell right on my face in front of my crush, this other time like a couple years ago i opened the door to my car and only realized much too late while i was staring at this random family that it was not my car, and when i went to the gas station to get gas and couldn't get my gas lid on my car opened and this guy had to help me which was already embarrassing enough but then the gas pump wouldn't work so i had to go inside to pay just to realize i forgot my wallet and had to shamefully walk back to my car and then run back inside the convenience store and then pay and then walk back to my car and finally fill my tank.

94: Top 3 holidays to celebrate - Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving

95: Top 3 things to do in the rain - have an existential crisis, pretend you're in a music video, walk through puddles like you're six again

96: Top 3 things to do in the snow - Sledding, Build a snowman, shovel it even tho you don't want to

97: Top 3 items you can't leave the house w/o - phone, keys, wallet

98: Top 3 movies you'd like to see - Jurassic World 3, Hotel Transylvania: Transformania bc i'm a child, and the animation of the addams family

99: Top 3 art mediums - Writing fiction/poetry, painting, music

100: Top 3 museums you've been to - Royal Tyrell Museum, Canadian History one in edmonton lol, and heritage park in calgary

101: Top 3 school memories - Middle school dances when the popular kids would grind to the song "Low" which was always an interesting experience, in the twelfth grade at winter formal when we all shouted "SHUT UP AND DANCE!" at the same time when they played Shut Up and Dance, and the day i left

102: Top 3 things you don't/Won't miss - School, my sisters ex, 2016 bc she was a rough year yikes

103: Top 3 pick up lines - "My name is Will. God's Will.", "I'd like to take you to the movies but they don't like you bring your own snacks", "are you from tennessee bc you're the only 10 i see"

104: Top 3 sports to watch - none of them

105: Top 3 taylor swift songs - all too well - exile - coney island

[sitorrothekitsune]

For everyone #18,#29,#37 and number 45 please, but if I can only have 1 question answered by everyone number 18 thanks!

Oh uhh- I honestly didn’t read these before reblogging and uhh- oki...

That said... the question is asking about our most traumatic experience.

Oh?? Well then I’ll have to sit this one out.

Why’s that?

Well honey, try and think of anything that I would find traumatic.

Oh uhh...-

That’s right. Nothing. So, there’s nothing for me to answer.

Okaaayyy moving on then...

Oh- uhh... For me... probably the dreams I make for myself, some of which are truly terrifying.

Dreams? How can you be sure that they’re dreams?

Because I’ve seen people die in these dreams that I talked to the next day.

Hmm; okay ;)

Uhh... Sitorro?

Sitorro?

Huh? Oh- for me it’s when I saw my father put in the coma...

Are you ok, Si...?

Yeah. I’m fine. Nothing wrong here.

O... K...?

Moe?

I will agree with Sitorro. I hadn’t thought it possible; and I didn’t know what to do next... it’s one of those things where you ask yourself “how am I going to take your place? Even if it’s temporary?” I didn’t know the first thing about how to keep someone alive, let alone the trillions of creatures that my brother created. Even my sister- who has two children of her own- was confused how to take care of species she’d never even heard of. I’m slowly getting the hang of it. But there’s way too many things to think about. The universe my brother left us with is vast, and I will never know everything. But I’m learning, and that’s why I’m here.

That was well put... I- never knew... thank you, Moe...

My pleasure.

Hunter, what about you?

Well, you and I have talked about this before, but I don’t really remember much... I’d say the most traumatic feeling I remember is regret though. I’m not sure why my body feels this regret, but it does. And so I’m doing what I can to minimize the things I could regret later...

Huh. On to the next question... let’s see here... describe a reason you lied to your friends... well for me it’s usually something as simple as “this story sounds better/is funnier one way, rather than another.” So instead of “the dumpster rolled, on it’s own, down the street on a super windy day.” We have “the dumpster zoomed past me at 20 miles an hour, making a dent into the convertible it crashed into.” Sorry, not sorry. To me it just sounds better.

Jeff- do you realize how petty that is?

Yeah. I do.

You don’t think that hurts people?

I’m not sure. I hope not; I’m just trying to breathe life into what I see as a mundane situation.

I see... well I just want to point out what Moe said earlier.

...

I’ve lied before, but I rarely do it, and only to keep the peace. I’ve found that being as blunt as Jeff isn’t all too useful.

Hey- yes it is!!

Try saying that to your ex girlfriend.

I mean-

I have a point; I know. I wouldn’t say it otherwise.

Heyyyyy... don’t put words in my mouth I didn’t say. It’s not very kind of you. :)

Alright, children. I think we should stop now.

I haven’t started anything yet. :3

Ugh... do you listen?

Stop means stop even if you don’t think you started anything.

What can I stop if there’s no start?

Pushing the issue. Besides, you don’t just bring up a guys Ex girlfriend and use it as leverage.

Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I could hurt your self esteem so easily.

Okay... evidently you’re just frustrated with something, and probably need to eat. Moving on.

Well none of this would’ve-

I’ve never had enough friends where lying to one because an issue. I’ve lied to slaves before, but that’s all. And before you say anything about “slaves are illegal” remember that the rest of the universe doesn’t exactly share your purist views, and that 33% of all creatures to ever exist are slaves, serfs, or clones of some sort.

Wow, really?

Well... I guess I should specify- as a total of the planets I’ve visited before. But that data set is out of millions, so it’s a fairly accurate trend.

Shiro...? I regret to ask, but I’m genuinely curious...

Huh? Oh. Yeah. I’ve lied.

Exactly how much-

It depends. Don’t count on the truth from me though.

O.. k... uhmmm.... next... Hunter-!

I don’t have enough memories to say for sure, but I would like to say I’ve never lied...

Oh- yeah... kinda forgot about the whole memory issue we have...

I’d rather not talk about it. How about the next question? List one insecurity.

*all look at Shiro and say “you” in unison.*

Jokes aside, mine is of being alone... thanks to you guys, hopefully I never have to experience it again.

Oh uh, I think I just don’t want to lose everything... again... Sitorro?

I’m- honestly afraid all of my work will be wasted. I have to rely so much on other people, that I don’t have enough control over my work to do it myself.

I’m going to eat. Can we take a break for a bit?

Oh, sure? That might be good...?

—————————————————

(A couple hours later)

Hunter, what was that question again?

List one insecurity.

Hmm... I guess my main insecurity is something I mentioned earlier. Neither me, nor my sister, has the power to carry out the responsibility we’ve been given, and we’re just trying to do the best we can. But unlike my brother, we cannot do everything.

Didn’t you say that earlier?

Yeah. Traumatic experiences are traumatic because they hit things you’re insecure about.

Hmm. I guess that’s true.

Sh- never mind I won’t bother.

Hehe...

On to the next question?

Oh uhh... it says 45, but there is no 45. Should we do 44 instead?

Sure, I guess.

Okay. Hmm... in the timeline I come from, polygamy isn’t just only legal in certain countries. Having only one spouse was quite rare; even in the “collective nations” which was the equivalent of the US, polygamy was encouraged, not frowned upon.

Really? That’s weird.

Y- YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, THINK THATS WEIRD?

Naturally. It really is quite unusual among planets.

I’m going to agree with Jeff here. You’ve shown yourself to be a very kinky woman, and I’m sure you wouldn’t object to an orgy.

Excuse me? I’m not thirsty. I’m utilitarian.

Uti- DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

Of course. Using your resources or whatever. I don’t care- English is not my strongsuit.

Tf umm we’re going to move on from that one. Shiro you’re being skipped here.

What- h- hey what’s your pro-

Shut up. Seriously. You’re not even ahead and you’re just making it worse.

I- okay. Fine. I’m going to bed then.

Goodnight. Have a nice rest.

Goodnight. :’T

Did you know I actually show up several places in Japanese lore? I won’t specify when, but a good portion of you will be able to tell. I still need to go back there aaaaaaaa...

Interesting. Uhh, how about this? Uhh if you divide a 4/4 measure in music into 256 equal parts, the resulting note will be the Demisemihemidemisemiquaver.

O- kay...? Well, I’m here to tell you that the human brain, using some basic modifications, has the ability for telepathy.

Wait- is that everything?

Yup.

Should we shorten the transcription?

I wouldn’t bother.

Okay well then uhh... whew. Give me a couple minutes.

———

P.S. it took me two days to find enough time to write everything we said >.> holy shit. Uhh... next time maybe send these as separate asks...? Please...? Thank you...?

Love you anon! We had to scold Shiro, but this was quite fun! OwO

[mintytrifecta]

Black Sun

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21965020

Buzz looked up to the endless night sky. He feels his eyes sting. If he looks close enough and squints his eyes, he can see his home. From the electric and bustling Capital Planet it's hard to see the frontier.

It's been over 20 years since he last saw his home, the last time he saw it he had to say an unfortunate goodbye.

It's been over 20 years since he saw his parent's life fade out of their eyes. The blood spilling out of his dad's mouth, the sick irony of the hospital's building crashing down on his mom. It was a cruel joke.

The day his planet died started out peaceful. He woke up early in the morning and went around looking for small parts to build weapons with. It was his little hobby. He said hello to all of his friends and smiled as he walked down the street.

He was inside of his hideout, a small warehouse when the first explosion was heard. Buzz lifted his head in alarm as the screams started and opened the door, his face twisted into a mixture of alarm and horror as he looked out at his people.

The buildings were all on fire as smoke and ash entered his lungs. Ships and Battalions decorated the sky, flashing purple and yellow. He lifted his hands to his neck in an effort to stop the toxins from entering his gills. He could barely breathe. His eyes stung with tears as he tried to blink away the sand blowing in his face.

Buzz ran towards his house as fast as he could, buildings falling down around him, people screaming and breathing their last. His only thought was to get to his family. Make sure they aren't hurt. Try to get them to safety.

Once it all ended, only Buzz, his grandmother and his brother survived.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buzz put Natron in the ship's transport prison and looked at him with a scowl. Natron turned his head up at him and smiled with glee as he spoke slowly.

"No matter what you do. No matter how hard you might try. You'll always have cursed blood. It's only a matter of time before they find out."

Buzz's face turned to shock for just a split second before he regained himself.

"The day they find out is the day I die."

Natron chuckled.

"I'll be waiting."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Team Lightyear was in a dangerous part of Capital Planet, going after Evil Buzz again.

This couldn't have happened on a worse day.

Black Sun was approaching. Fast. And Buzz was doing everything in his power to not transform.

He couldn't bear being out in the open on a day like this but the commander insisted that they catch him now.

As Buzz was chasing Evilyear down an alley, he bitterly wanted to curse at the commander for making him do this.

After a few minutes of a wild goose chase, Buzz lost Evilyear and found himself standing on top of a building alone.

Then a person lunched at him from behind. Buzz barely had any time to react as his eyes changed to black, his tail emerging from his lower back, his fingers tearing through his ranger suit and turning into blue and black claws. His teeth became jagged and his fangs grew by two sizes.

The scales under his skin rose up and appeared in a pattern speckled over his face and his gills opened up, constricted by his thermal hood.

Buzz couldn't breathe. He was back in the fire. Ash and smoke came from all directions. People were dying around him. Blood splattered across his face his mom crushed his dad impaled no nononononono

A fist to the face made him snap back. He could see Evilyear smirking at him, his black eyes soulless. He wanted vengeance. He wanted to see Buzz suffer.

He ran forward at Buzz. Attacking him from all angles. No plan no thought, Evilyear was unhinged.

Buzz had no way of predicting what he was going to do next. Hell, he was still choking. His gills blocked off by his hood, his nose broken from a previous punch.

So he didn’t fight. He didn’t swing back. He took every hit and every kick that was thrown at him and went down. Just before blacking out, he heard Evilyear speak.

“Tell me Buzz, why do you hide?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The team found a slave ring run by Zurg.

Creatures, species and robots all taken from their original lives and led to serve Zurg.

Buzz could feel bile come up in his throat just thinking about it.

Once they busted through the wall they found the captors cowering near the wall, tears sliding down their faces.

Mira and Booster explained the situation while Buzz and XR got the shackles off of their wrists.

Once they cleared out the place and took all of the captors back to 42, Buzz went in for a last look.

The planet they were keeping the slaves was close to the illusionist sector of the squadron.

Illusionist species could shapeshift.

Buzz was closer to his home than he had been in years and he can’t handle it.

‘Come on, Ranger it’s not time to get stuck in the past. What happened happened and there’s nothing you can do about it.’ Buzz thought to himself.

There was a shift in the room.

Buzz whipped his head around the room.

"Hello? Who's there?"

Nobody to be seen.

Unless of course, you're an illusionist.

Buzz shifted his eyes to their original form.

Thermal vision is always a plus to have.

In the corner of the room, a small girl was camouflaged and shivering.

On her arms, he could see scales glistening and shifting.

She was a morphian.

She was a morphian.

Buzz felt a shiver go down his spine.

He slowly stepped forward to her, kneeling down to her level.

With a slow, clear voice he spoke.

"Can you please come out? I know you're there. I don't want to hurt you, I promise."

He could see her flinch and look at him with tears sliding down her face.

"Please come out from there. I just want to get you to safety."

She slowly looked at his eyes, searching for a lie or malice.

She found nothing.

Buzz extended out his arm for her to hold.

With hesitancy, she crawled towards him and gave him her hand.

It was dirty and bloody, filled with cuts.

Buzz blinked his tears away, shifting his eyes back to their casual look.

She took the hint and shifted into her human form.

He led her back out to the ship.

Buzz never thought there were other survivors, let alone children! The implication that a child was there means she must have parents. There are others out there.

Buzz couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

----------------------------------

Evilyear sat at the back of the room, back to the wall. He held his head down and sat with his knees up. Nonchalant. Apathetic.

Buzz entered the room and stood in front of the wall. Glaring at him, yet his eyes held almost a sympathetic expression in them.

"So goody two shoes came back to interrogate the devil? Well throw it at me! I don't care anymore." Evilyear mumbled.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone. I know it must've been hard to suffer through that with no one else to comfort you."

Evilyear chuckled darkly, refusing to meet Buzz's eyes.

"So he got you too huh? Should've known it wouldn't stop at my own universe…"

Buzz frowned.

"I'm sorry for what happened, but that doesn't excuse what you did."

"Oh what do you know-"

Buzz cut in.

"What do I know? What do I know?! I know that you commited genocide and enslaved millions of different races under your rule! And for what?!"

Evilyear's head shot up and he stared at Buzz with a scowl.

"I lost everything and everyone that ever knew me. Every aspect of my life, of my culture was feared by the rest of the galaxy. The universe hated us for existing. The attack just proved it. The only way for us to stay alive was to attack."

"But now you're just filling the stereotype of what they all think we are.”

Evilyear cackled and rolled his eyes.

“Well, if you can’t beat ‘em you might as well join ‘em.”

Buzz’s eye twitched.

“This is exactly why we went into hiding. Natron gave us such a bad name we couldn't go anywhere without being shot or imprisoned for crimes we didn’t do.”

“And yet which one of us is more successful huh? I took over the galaxy while you’re here slaving your life away trying to achieve an impossible goal.”

Buzz flinched back.

“What exactly do you mean by impossible goal.”

“Well, which one of us took down Zurg?”

Buz stared at Evilyear, speechless and dumbfounded.

“Was it good? Or was it evil?”

Buzz said nothing.

Evilyear slacked back against the wall.

“That’s what I thought.”

They sat in a tense silence, Buzz frozen standing up and Evilyear looked pensively at the wall, his posture and eyes showing tiredness.

“I waited for years to see if anyone would come back. The planet was in ruins and I was the only one alive. I had to live in a corpse-ridden land for years with nobody around except the rats and rotting people.

When I finally escaped on a ship I’ve been working on for years I reached Capital Planet. Everyone was smiling and laughing. Enjoying life with their families. Blissfully unaware of anything that goes on outside of their own system.

I hated it. I hated them. How dare they live a life like this when the people who deserve it so much more than them get nothing. How dare they do nothing to help the poor and lonely. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to smile. I wanted to feel worth something.

All I could do was cry. “

Buzz looked at Evilyear with sympathy. He could see tears in his eyes.

“I tried turning myself around, Y’know. I joined the academy. I tried doing good. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't stay away from the darkness.

"I lived in constant fear that someone will kill me or harm me. It got so bad and I couldn't take it anymore. I knew the only way to stop living in fear was to ride up.

And if that meant I had to be evil then so be it."

Buzz didn't say anything else.

-----------------------------------------------

As he walked down the halls of Star Command, he felt his heart beat faster with every step. He kept findling with his arms inside his hoodie, a comfort item for him. He knew that after this nothing will be the same between him and his team. He only hoped that they wouldn't take it too hard.

Buzz had requested a meeting between his team, commander and him. He didn't want to hide anymore.

Once he reached the door to the mission room, he hesitated and stood still.

Was this a good idea? Did he really want to do this?

The door opened and the commander stepped out. "Lightyear! There ya are come in. What did you want to talk about, son?"

Well no turning back now.

Once inside, he sat down at the chair nearest to the commander's, his usual spot.

His team looked at him in concern and worry.

Buzz almost wanted to laugh, they'd never look at him like this after they finish talking.

Buzz cleared his throat in a bout of nervousness before he began talking.

"Well, I haven't been entirely truthful with all of you… About myself."

Confused looks were all shared across the room. Oh boy was Buzz not excited for this.

"You see, I'm not exactly…. Human. I never was."

A tense silence filled the room with suspense. Buzz shifted into his original form and felt more alien than ever before.

"I'm a Morphian."

There. It was done. He said it. He expected a weight to be lifted off of his shoulders but it was a tense as before.

Until he heard the scraping of a chair moving back and the pulsing of a Star Command laser.

Buzz opened his eyes and saw the commander and his team holding their guns towards him, scowling faces and hesitant, almost shaking hands were present all around.

Buzz widened his eyes in fear and tried to take a step back, but the commander brought him to his knees with his hands behind his back before he could do anything.

And then Nebula spoke. With a colder voice than Buzz had ever heard the commander speak with.

Buzz had to blink back his eyes and tail from trying to attack him.

"How dare you. How dare you lie to us. Do you think this is funny? To invade star command property under the guise of a human? Is it a game to you? We trusted you!"

"W-wait sir please I-"

"Don't talk back to me! Under the name of Star Command, you, Buzz Lightyear are under arrest!"

Buzz elbowed Nebula in the stomach and ran before he could get back up.

He knew when a battle didn't have a chance to be won.

Buzz bolted out of the room as fast as he could, despite his team's shouting. As he ran down the corridors of Star Command he heard the speaker shout,

"All units after Buzz Lightyear"

Well this isn't how he envisioned his Saturday going.

Behind him he heard the shouts of other cadets calling at him, ordering him to stop. He only ran faster.

Taking a turn behind one of the corners Buzz tried to catch his breath, well as much as he could with his gills being blocked.

Once he heard the footsteps fade away, he got back up and started heading for the spaceship port. Hopefully an escape pod will be ready for him to take.

Unfortunately on the run, he ran into a team in front of him, battle-ready and rearing for a fight. They were level 4 cadets by the look of it. Experienced, yet still new.

Buzz could go up and try to take them down, or he could make a turn and head for the port around the back.

The latter sounded like a plan.

Buzz took a step back and ran into someone. Hopefully it wasn't anyone too experi- oh darn it it's Rocket Crockett.

Looks like he'll have to fight his way to the vents.

Buzz took a stance and hoped that his physical strength and abilities as a morphian will be of assistance in this.

The closest vent was about fifteen feet away in front of him so he'll have to fight the rookie cadets and make sure that Rockett's team doesn't try to get him.

Buzz took a deep breath and turned invisible, keeping his footing light and went in to knock out the leader of the rookie's team. He succeeded, of course but got elbowed.

Buzz bit his tongue in an effort to stay quiet. He quickly tried to release some venom in the air in an attempt to knock everyone out. Thank the world's it worked.

Slowly, he slipped into the vents and crawled into the port.

Getting into an escape pod he entered the coordinates to head into Trade a world. Nobody will find him there.

Not on his dead body.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S2 Ep 6: Blind Sister Saga Continues

It’s tourney season, and wisely, Kaiba decided that just one human catastrophe from the Yugi crew would be plenty enough for gambling the lives of everyone on Earth with. Long story short, Joey awoke that morning and saw no invite on his doorstep.

Really wish we got to see what those invites looked like. Did Kaiba write them on creative stationary that folds into a weird shape? Did he have little stickers? Did he employ Jelly pens? Were they the type of jelly pen where you have to erase it to make a two-toned silver/purple ink pattern? Confetti? He’s definitely the type of Chaotic Neutral that would mail confetti.

There’s some timeline issues here--Mai and everyone else was there for the announcement in Domino’s Time Square because they got an invite to this tourney, but Yugi didn’t have one yet? Yugi, the only person Kaiba truly wants to compete with? Yugi learned about this tourney from a psychic who just spends her day spooking people who visit her museum?

Maybe Grandpa just forgot to check the mail that day? Or maybe...just maybe Grandpa is a little freaked out by mail these days and just never checks it at all?

Seeing that Yugi’s going to throw himself at the wolves again, Joey decides to enlist anyway, since Yugi will actually very seriously surely die without his friend’s constant attention.

So, they march down to the nearest “I Swear This is Not a Weapon” card-rig dispensary to get their paperwork filled out. Considering how quickly and how forcefully these things just shoot out holographic cameras at head-height, you’d think you’d need to register for it and get a special license like you would a sidearm.

(read more under the cut)

They talk so casually about this and it’s like...ok are we going somewhere?

Nope. Whenever the slightest guise of romance enters the scene, cards are here to slap that right off that plate that we never actually ordered. Even cards are there to cock block this 3 way the writers just have no idea what to do with.

Anyway, this outfit lives here.

Turns out that in the week or so that Kaiba spent putting this all together, he did some digging and made profiles for everyone already. Kinda what happened to me with Myspace, just being honest. I was just trying to get Boba one day when this one girl I distantly knew from High School was like “Why aren’t we friends on Myspace.” and I told her “because I have Facebook” and then before, my drink even got into my hands I had a profile. I only became friends with Tom, her, and this one guy from college I was in love with who’s Myspace played the anchorman version of “Afternoon delight” really loudly and you could not turn it off because it was hidden somewhere on the page. I look back on it now and realized just him having a Myspace years after Facebook existed was a red flag in itself, but hindsight’s 20/20. Anyway, back to Yugioh:

And so, bam, They toss a box at Yugi that is about 3/4 the size of Yugi himself. Kaiba didn’t make an XS version for the only person in this tourney he actually wants to fight?

Kaiba decides, when making Joey’s profile, to give him a 1-star rating, which kicked him out of the competition. But, this guy in the butcher outfit, the glasses, and the...bandana...sees Joey’s red-black dragon or whatever it’s called and decides it’s rare enough to Rare Hunt.

They legit say “My hard drive malfunctioned” PS. Lol what???

Why does he need to duel Joey? I mean I guess Joey is kinda strong and hard to take 1-on-1? Anyways, so despite Kaiba’s good intentions to get Joey out of this competition so Joey can spend some much needed time with his sister he hasn’t seen in 7 years, Joey gets in anyway.

I forget sometimes that Joey has this long sprawling teen soap opera story that just clashes so much with the magical altered history apocalypse story, it’s hard to believe it’s in the same show--and not just that--but that it’s a side-story in the same show that we hear about but don’t actually get to see.

This was just so funny to me, that he’s like “I will be there for my sister’s surgery!” and then--immediately--out of no where these three guys in robes pop out and it’s like lol, why would you need 3 grown men on one kid!? This ridiculous show.

And not just that, but they beat him with the card that Yugi used in Episode 1 that was so OP that Weevil tossed it into the ocean. And not just that but this guy has like 3 versions of it. Freakin Exodia is more than half of his deck.

I mean Episode 1 was a long time ago but Kaiba sure made a big fuss about how no one has ever played an Exodia ever in the history of mankind but here we are.

Anyway, the soap continues and we actually get to see Serenity. Y’all I was serious when I said I didn’t think this girl was real but, man--she exists and also is...kind of weird. Because her brother doesn’t show, she’s locked herself in a hospital room--a hospital that has locks on the rooms? I mean, girl your brother paid for this 3 million dollar surgery, what are you on about him not being there for you?

First off--Nice job forgetting she’s not a Wheeler anymore, Yugi, it’s not like she’s had a very rocky divorce of the past 7 years or anything.

Second off--Does anyone in this universe call the police!?

TRISTAN CAN DRIVE!?

So I guess these kids are 16 now?

I’m not even joking--it was at the abandoned warehouses, that Tristan drives by going “I FOUND HIM” and then drags Joey to the hospital looking like this.

This story line is so Daytime Kid’s TV One Tree Hill I’m expecting a golden retriever to run up and just devour one of Serenity’s eye transplants.

Anyway, so Serenity is so mad at her brother she won’t come out until he makes this big old speech for her--and it’s a fine speech and all--but like...girl he was left out to die last night??? Can a doctor please get his hands on Joey.

Ah, it’s been a full season, but it looks like Serenity is finally going to get those eyes.

I think. Maybe the rest of this season will be side-plots of Serenity just postponing her surgery over and over again.

Anyway, Next week, on Yugioh:

So does Tristan just bring that motorcycle with him everywhere now? Will we ever see Joey’s Mom ever again? (I’m guessing no because that hair is too normal) And does this dueling disk even fit Yugi or does he have to put it on his leg?

[spnimagine-s-blog]

Maple syrup

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 1040

Request: “Hey! Can you do a thing where the reader is a hunter from Canada, could be just working with the boys on a case or has been with them for a while, and they always tease her about being Canadian? You can pic a pairing if you want :) thanks <3”

A/N: This is pretty sucky I’m so sorry! I just really didn’t know how to go about writing this one, but I hope it turned out somewhat how you wanted it. 

Btw guys requests are open!!! So please send me like tons!!

You were working on another case with Sam and Dean, only this time the case was all the way in Canada, Great.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like it there, definitely not. In fact, you happened to be from there. One night, a few years ago at a bar you ran into fellow hunters Sam and Dean who happened to be there working on a case. The three of you somehow got to talking about being in the same business and from then on it was history. You began hunting with them, eventually growing closer to both of the boys. You saw Sam more as a brother and as for Dean.. well that was another story. 

The two of you always had a sort of unspoken thing, he liked you and you liked him but neither one of you were really sure how the other felt, so you both kept it to yourselves.

So here you all were years later, back in the same place you had met. Staying in a small hotel while you took care of some vampires. You knew this trip would be interesting to say the least. Sam and Dean had always teased you about being Canadian, from the jokes about how Canadians supposedly spoke, to the maple syrup and the moose that were apparently just running all over Canada.

It all started to die down after awhile when you moved into the bunker with them but now that you were back in Canada you assumed the jokes would start up again.  And you were right.

“Hey Y/n, you happy to be back in the ole homeland”  Dean spoke while smirking as he helped you carry your things into the hotel room.

“Oh yeah, I’m thrilled Dean”

“Hey why so unenthusiastic? Do you want us to go run down to the store and get ya some maple syrup? It might cheer you up”  

Sam spoke while chuckling.

“Yeah we can pay for it with the Monopoly money they have here”        

Said Dean as he glanced over to you with a big grin on his face while he placed the bags on the floor.

“Oh you guys are so hilarious”

“No you know what is hilarious? the fact that you’re Canadian!”

“Dean, c’mon how is that funny?”

“I don’t know something about it just kills me, I mean the way they talk here is priceless! All the Eh’s and the way people here say about, like how is aboot the way to say it. Oh! and ya hear sorry every five minutes when you’re talking to someone!” Dean mentioned as he and Sam started laughing.

“When have you heard me say Eh, huh? Or Aboot? When have I ever said that Dean?  And honestly I don’t think anyone here ever says any of that!”

“Ok so you don’t say that, but you sure do say sorry a hell of a lot more than most people.”  Said Sam

“Hey Sammy you know that vamp nest we’re gonna check out tonight? Do you think they’ll say sorry while we kill em since they’re Canadian vampires?” Dean spoke as he laughed.

“Ya know what Dean, they just might.”  Sam laughed.

“My god you guys are ridiculous, I’m gonna go get something for dinner, I’m taking the impala.”  You shouted as you walked out the door.

“HEY! HEY! YOU BE CAREFUL WITH BABY, I DON’T WANT A MOOSE RUNNING INTO HER”  Dean yelled as you closed the door.                                 

While you were out Sam and Dean stayed in the hotel room and after awhile Sam began to question Dean. He’d always known that the two of you had feelings for each other, it was obvious to everyone except you and Dean, so Sam decided he needed to do something about it.

“So when are you gonna ask her?” Spoke Sam                              

“What’re you talking about?”

“Well one day you’re gonna ask her out right? I mean it’s clear the both of you are basically in love with each other.”

“And how the hell do you know that?”  Said Dean while raising his eyebrow to his younger brother.

“Dude, seriously it’s obvious just ask her out, she’ll say yes.”

“I’m not doing it Sam.”

“Yeah alright, I knew you couldn’t do it anyway you’re too scared.”

“I am not scared” Said Dean in an aggravated tone.

“Well prove it then, ask her out once she comes back.” suggested Sam

“Fine I will, but I know how this is gonna go, she’ll say no Sam.”

Around 20 minutes later you arrived back at the hotel and made your way upstairs with the food. As you walked in you saw Sam and Dean sat on the couch, Sam reading and Dean watching some old movie with his feet placed on top of the coffee table.

“Hey guys, I just got burgers and fries if that’s okay?” You said while placing the bags of food on the table.

“Yeah y/n that’s fine.” Sam said while smiling as he and Dean got up and sat at the table, Dean immediately grabbing his food and digging in.

“So what did you guys do while I was gone?”  You said while getting your food out from the bag.

“Oh not much just talked about some things” Sam said while glancing over to Dean, suggesting that he should ask you like he said he would.

“Eh Y/n” Dean said while looking over at you

“Oh god what now Dean?”

you said with a small chuckle

“Actually no jokes, I was just wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me sometime?”  Dean said with the most confidence he could.

Sam’s eyes widened, not believing his brother actually went through with asking you.

You sat there for a moment, slightly in shock with what he had asked you. You’ve liked dean for a long time but never in a million years would you have thought he would feel the same way about you, so the whole thing was sort of surprising.

“Wait… what? Are you actually being serious?” You spoke

“The most serious I’ve ever been.”

Dean said with a small grin on his face.

“Okay then Dean Winchester I will go out with you.”

[sherriarty]

Meeting Andrew Scott (WCC2017)

I know I’ve mentioned wiriting a short report after returning from Wales (and then I just kept quiet). So here you go! :) If you’re interested in the parts we finally meet Andrew, skip to the bold parts. I am including the Loo parts in italics. :)

The 2nd of December. THE DAY. Day fricking D. Me and @sherlocked-for-a-lifetime set the alarm for 6am (we were supposed to leave the house at 9:20, but because of all the cosplay preparations, we decided to get up bright and early). We were really anxious, being like ‘’no, we’re not going, let’s skip it’’ and even though we were joking, we also were half serious. So much nerves.

At 9:50 we finally got to leave (whoops) and went straight to the university, where the Con was taking place. It was cold and slightly raining but I wasn’t bothered because my hair were slicked back anyway because *winkwink* fem!Moriarty. After finding the correct queue (on the 3rd try) and waiting patiently, we finally, finally got in. 

Since it was around 11:10 and the Sherlock panel was scheduled to start at 11:30, we rushed straight into the Hall A, worried the seats will be already taken by people who had VIP access and got in an hour earlier than the rest of us. Turns out we don’t need to be worried since the hall is half empty. 

And finally Andrew and Louise arrive (and you have no clue how much I’ve started to shake right then), apologizing for the delay because of VIRGIN TRAINS. Lol.

The panel was amazing and you can watch it online, so I’m not going  to go into details here - other than I was freaking panicking in my seat, realizing that I’m going to be talking to both of them in less than 15 minutes. 

After the panel we rushed outside, searching for the Photo Op halls. We were supposed to be having photo ops with Andrew AND Louise first, right after that photo op only with Louise and then finally only with Andrew. I was scared so much and inside of the hall we’ve met one of my friends I didn’t expect to see - I know her from this very same convention, from April. She must have picked up I am stressing out because she immediately started giving me hugs and taking selfies. Bless her, she managed to calm my nerves a little bit. For maybe two minutes, but still!

AND FINALLY ANDREW AND LOUISE APPEAR IN THE ROOM and I I’m ready to die. I’m in the queue, clutching my Sheriarty plushies to make myself calm. And the queue is moving so fast, suddenly I’m expected to go there! What the fuck. So I go. After awkward ‘’Hi, good’’ reply for ‘’Hi, how are you?’’ (I’m an idiot shhh) I’m actually taking a breath and blurt out a question if they could hold my Jim and Sherlock plushies. And that they can choose. Andrew was reaching for the Sherlock one, but Louise was faster, saying ‘’I’ll take Sherlock’’. Andrew gave her his ‘’tssss’’ look and grabbed small Jim. Then we took the photo and i was still so shaken, thanking them both and rushing away, my friend again giving me a calming hug.

The friend from last con left after, saying she only has booked the photo op with both Louise and Andrew, so we stayed with my dear @sherlocked-for-a-lifetime alone. To be quite fair, we both were really nervous and it was hard to calm down. And we’re suddenly in a queue for Louise and before I know it, I’m in front of Louise, again. I even manage to tell her I love her dress, she calls me lovely!

And now the real fun begins. Queue for photo with Andrew. I’m crying inside again and I’m convinced I can’t possibly make it. How could I? He’s right there in this room, the queue is moving and we’re getting close. I’m not sure if I hate or love my life at that moment. And again, way too quickly it’s my turn and I go to Andrew. He asks how my day was and how I am doing. In the meantime, the photo is being taken. After that, I simply answer with ‘’It’s good... I’m nervous, sorry’’ (GIVE YOURSELF A SLAP, GIRL). He gives me a million dollar smile and puts his hand on my upper back and strokes it briefly with ‘’Don’t be nervous sweetheart’’. I think I died and went to heaven. He’s the cutest to ever cute.

After that, we leave the photo room and get our printed photos. Once we’re done, we move to the Signing hall. Andrew and Louise are still in the Photo rooms, so we have time to find their tables and find out what the story is. 

We are being told that Andrew’s queue is really too huge so there’s an alternatiive solution - we all get a ticket with number and then we’re being called by numbers. Well, it’s not that bad, at least we can go to the Louise’s queue in the meantime and we’re fairly in the front. 

When Louise arrives and I got to her table, I’m fairly nervous again, Louise calming me with ‘’we’ve already met twice, it’s okay’’. BLESS HER. She was actually really nice and chatty, asking me where I’m from, where do I work, also told me she loves Cork city (ha! ♥). Then she asked me if I have any questions for her and I did. I am only going to tell you I asked her about her opinion on Jim’s feelings towards Molly and if she thinks that the final scene in season 4 indicates that Sherlock and Molly ended up together. I’m not going to publicly mention her response in this report since I don’t want to start ‘shit’ between Sherlolly and Molliarty shippers. If anyone’s interested, please, DM me off anon.

When she signs my photo, I ask her if she’s doing selfies, since there is literally no sign above her head. Other actors have either a price for the selfie or ‘’NO SELFIES’’ sign. She starts talking to one of the crew members and they tell her that it’s not a good idea since everyone else would be wanting a selfie with Andrew, too, if they saw her taking selfies. And, with the queue Andrew has, it would not be wise. 

So Louise agrees to a ‘’No selfies’’ sign, but tells me to take a selfie with her since there was no sign before I asked. BLESS HER. I’m not including the selfie because I look really horrible in that one, but I’m still loving Louise in it. ♥

After some chilling out around the hall and meeting two LOVELY and amazing Sheriarty fans - Jim and @selfmadeseb, our numbers are finally called out and we go to the physical queue, which is really short, since the numbers procedure. I am starting to panick again, this time really panicking. I should probably mention that I’m a bit asthmatic person and when it’s almost my turn, I start caughing and have a problem to breathe. Well, good timing, right? :D Jim gives me a tight hug and tells me it’s going to be okay, but lets me go almost immediately because it’s my turn and I’m slowing down the fricking queue.

Andrew was the absolute sweetheart. He must have easily picked up I’m really fucked up, and he was talking so gently and slowly, telling me not to be nervous. Again. Then he told me that I look amazing and my cosplay is amazing (HELP) and before I got to ask him if he would mind to sign some more things for me, he literally just takes them out of my shaking hands and giggles. When he finishes, I am realizing it’s now or never. So I start thanking him for including asexuals while talking about sexualities. He is smiling and nodding the whole time and answers with ‘’I represent everybody’’ and he’s so so lovely! I tell him it really means so much to me and he raises his hand for a high five

but then does this

I’m still crying when I remember this.

Since there’s ‘’No selfies’’ sign, I am not bothered with asking for a selfie at this point. I’m saying goodbye and leaving.

By leaving I actually mean sitting with my friends in the corner next to Andrew’s seat, watching him signing the photos. Then I remember that we forgot to give him a chocolate and I almost start crying. When my friends ask me what’s going on, I manage to tell them about the chocolate and my dear @sherlocked-for-a-lifetime grabs me and we go to Andrew, waiting for a small time before anyone else gets to the front of the queue. We quickly give him the chocolate, apologizing and saying that it slipped our mind earlier. Andrew smiles widely, thanks us and unwraps the chocolate straight away, eating it. Adorable.

Then we chill around some more, I’ve been talking to John Noble (Fringe, The Lord of the Rings), Tom Hopper (Merlin, Game of thrones - who remembered me from April!!!!! And actually calling out my cosplay from the last time haha) and Mark Addy (Atlantis, Game of Thrones, The Knight’s Tale), all of them pretty nice and chill. 

It was before six in the evening and we went back to our spot in the corner, when we noticed that there was NO queue for Andrew anymore. Literally no one. So we risked our chance. We went to Andrew, buying another singature first (so it’s not that bad lol) and then blurted out if there would be any chance to get a selfie with him. I was prepared for a ‘no’ because of the ‘’No Selfies’’ sign, but no one was there anymore, so it was worth a try.

And, well, yah, this happened at first (No way I am deleting Andrew attempting to take a photo on my phone):

But of course, happy ending ♥♥♥♥♥:

And this is the story how I died, basically. Conclusion? I love this man so much. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[thegreatestofheck]

Old Things Come

“Father, I won’t leave you.” Those were the last words Anakin Skywalker heard. They were, of all the words and combinations of words in all the galaxies, the only words he needed to hear. 

He regretted doing many things, saying many words, thinking many thoughts, feeling many emotions. But now, looking at the innocent face before him, his son’s face, there were only two things he regretted. The first being not spending the time he should have with Luke. The second being unable to see his daughter before he had to go. He looked into his son’s eyes, one last time, and smiled. At least, he tried. 

And the world became dark. His last sight in the cruel, dark world that consumed his soul was the goodness of his son. Then he faded into the unknown, falling into deep, endless slumber. 

Anakin awoke, the sun shining on his face. It was a strange thing. He hadn’t felt the sun in so many years. He hadn’t felt the sun since before the Empire. It was a wonderful thing. And when he opened his eyes, they began to water. He was on Naboo, that was evident. The rolling green hills, the running waters, the large trees. He hardly realized using his arms to sit up until he’d done it. He looked down and found no burned flesh, no robotic arms, nothing out of the ordinary, just hands. It was almost enough to make him smile. His legs were there too. And his hair. Everything about him was the way it was supposed to be. 

“Ani?” His heart leapt in his chest. Anakin scrambled to his feet, water returning to his eyes. Standing behind him, hand over her stomach, clinging to a tree as if her life depended on it, wearing the same blue smock she always wore, was Shmi Skywalker. Anakin saw her and his heart fell. Shame ate at him. What would she think of him? Did she know what he’d done? 

“Anakin.” She said his name with a smile. It was the same smile she used to smile when he was younger. She had the same eyes, smoldering, beautiful, compassionate. Anakin’s knees felt weak, his legs wobbling beneath him. He fell to his knees, tears rolling down his face. Shmi ran towards her son as fast as her legs could carry her. She slid to the ground, not caring how dirty her smock would get. She wrapped her arms around her sobbing son, holding him as close to her as she possibly could. 

“I’m sorry, Mom,” he sobbed. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Shh, shh. It’s alright, Love. You did well,” she whispered, kissing his head. Her heart broke with every body shaking sob that came from his mouth. Finally, she pealed him off of her and lifted his tear-stained face to look at hers. 

“Ani, stop your crying,” she cooed, wiping the stray tears from his cheeks. “You have done so much good. So much good. And you’re here now, with me. With us.”

He wanted to ask her who the ‘us’ was, but that became clear seconds later. Over the hill came a crowd of people. In the front was Qui-Gon Jin, an old friend who had died when he was young. He looked no different than Anakin remembered him. Mace Windu stood behind him, arms crossed as they usually were, but he wore a proud smile. Yoda was there as well, green and wrinkled as ever. Ashoka, his padawan stood with tears in her large eyes. He had hoped she survived Order 66. Behind them all was his best friend, his mentor, his brother. 

“Obi-wan.” Anakin stood. He and his friend met with a loving embrace. “Brother. I’m sorry I killed you.” 

Obi-wan laughed, pulling away from his friend and putting his hand on his shoulder. 

“You only killed me because I let you,” he said. It felt strange to laugh, but somehow, Anakin managed it. Obi-wan looked both old and young at the same time. He looked like the old man Anakin as Darth Vader had fought and killed, but he looked like the young Knight who had called him brother. 

The long awaited greetings continued. He apologized to Windu (more than once). Qui-gon cracked a few sarcastic jokes. Anakin was amazed to see Shmi and Qui-gon standing rather close, smiling at each other in a way that he had never seen his mother smile at anyone. 

Yoda hit Anakin in the shins with his walking stick. Yoda looked older than when Anakin knew him. That made sense. Anankin hadn’t seen him for 20 years. 

“Thank you for looking out for my son,” Anakin told him, after they laughed off the stick-to-shin greeting. Yoda grumbled and nodded, as he usually did. Then he did something Anakin had never seen. Yoda smiled. It wasn’t anything flashy or beautiful, but it was a smile. 

“Good, in the end, you did. Please, I am. Wrong about, was I.” 

Anakin nodded in gratitude. He was pleased to see Ashoka. Before he could even apologize she told him all was forgiven. 

“I’m just glad to see you.” 

Surrounded by so many people, Anakin’s heart leapt with joy. He was here and they were here. His friends, his family. They weren’t angry. They still cared for him. But there was someone missing, someone Anakin wanted to see, far more than he wanted to see anyone else. He couldn’t help but look around, past those greeting him, past the long dead inside jokes, past the loving eyes of those he lost. Where was she? If anyone deserved to live in this Naboo-like afterlife, it was Padmé Amidala. 

Obi-Wan managed to catch Anakin alone for a few seconds. 

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered. “She’s here.” 

That didn’t calm Anakin’s nerves any. He didn’t see her. She didn’t look like she was here. 

He gazed across the grassy hills, seeing the lake off in the distance, the mountains beyond the hills. Giving up hope that she was truly there, Anakin turned back to his friends. He was disappointed in her absence, but the rest of his friends and family were there and that was beyond important to him. 

And then, as if in a dream, her voice drifted out over the valley, through the grass like wind, through the air like song. As soon as he heard her voice, every weight was lifted from his chest, every fear disappearing from his body.  

“Ani!” 

He was afraid, at first, when he saw her. She was standing by a tree, dress and hair blowing in the breeze. The talking among his friends ceased and they stepped away from him. Anakin locked eyes with the woman he loved so dearly. She was unreadable, like she always was, like she had to be. She was just as beautiful as she had always been, just as regal. 

“Pamdé.” Her name came out as a whisper, but the wind carried it all the way to her ears. And she was running, as fast as her legs could go. By the stars, she looked so beautiful. He must look hideous. 

Anakin was afraid, far more so than he had been when it was his mother running to him. He wanted to be run because, force be with him, everything he had done to her and her children. Padmé would hate him. Padmé would reach him and slap him across the face. She would kill him and hit him and scream at him because he had ruined their lives. He had hurt so many people. He had-

But when she reached him, he could see tears running down her face. She launched herself off the ground, throwing her arms around his neck. Anakin caught her and held her in his arms. She held him closer, closer, closer. 

Anakin buried his face in her neck, inhaling her scent. 20 years and she still smelled the same. 

Nothing else matters, not now, not ever, because he has her, because she’s there with him. They’re together. She curled her fingers in his hair. Anakin lowered them both to the ground, unable to stand on his own feet any longer. She pulled away from the hug and pressed her lips against his. They had spent years apart, years alone. Every kiss they should have shared in that time, was fulfilled in this one, this one single kiss. It was heaven. 

“You still love me?” He whispered in her ear. She held his face in her hands. 

“I never stopped.” 

He hugged her again, not wanting to let her go. He started to cry again because this woman was so much more than he had ever thought. He had killed thousands of people and assisted in the deaths of millions. He had tortured her children and made their life hell. He had done so much wrong, but she still loved him. She forgave him. 

Holding her husband as close as she could, Padmé stifled sobs. He didn’t deserve to die, not yet. He had just met her son. He had just shown Luke his true colors. Her daughter had never met her father. It wasn’t fair, none of it. With her and Anakin gone, her children now have to face the cruel and awful world alone. Anakin knows his children have to live with his misdeeds and he feels like a failure. 

“I’m sorry,” he told her quietly. “I failed them.” 

She pulled away from the hug again because now she had to make him understand. 

“Our children are strong, like their father,” she said. “They are compassionate and they are willing to throw everything to hell for the ones they love.” 

“Like their mother,” he added with a smile. She brushed his hair from his eyes. 

“Yes. They are like their mother and they are like their father. They will survive. And they will join us soon. Until then....”

It’s peace and bliss. 

Anakin holds his wife close to him every chance he gets. He doesn’t ever want to let her go because he’s afraid of what will happen when he does. He waits with her and with his friends and with his family. He waits for his kids to join them so he could make up for everything he’d done. 

Until then, he kisses his wife and laughs with his friends. 

And for the first time in what seems like forever, he breathes a sigh of joy. 

[widowed-mistress]

Voltron season 4 Review:

Spoilers ahead:

Ok, before we get started I just want to get my opinion on it straight, before people start assuming. I loved season 4. It was really good plot wise and we got some new characters. I feel like most people in the fandom need to calm down.

It had 6 episode and each was around 20 minutes. That is two hours. If you think thats enough well the other season have TWICE as much. So they were not able to fit in as much as usuall. Also I should mention, season 4 is basically part 2 for season 3.

The reason I'm bringing this up is for the klance shippers out there. Look klance is my otp when it comes to Voltron, but the way some of you acted was horrible. Saying the season was bad because they never said a word to each other. I'm pretty bumed out too, but that small factor does not have the right to call it horrible. So many thing of the season was wonderdul some perhaps not as much. Now we start with the review

*cons*

1. We din't really din't get much backstory or any of the sort. However it was 6 episodes long and stuff like that takes time.

2. Hunk and Lance where made a joke during the shows. They have grown so much and are much more than just the flirt or they comic relieaze. I hope they have better story element the next season. However this does not mean they were a joke the hole time. They had there moments to shine and help the team. So thats why this one isn't that bad. Because it was more focesed during the shows not the overall plot.

3. This one isn't really a con just a part that pissed me off. "Shiro" piloting black. As much as I was in suprised. As the black lion, did not take him in season 3 it help the plot and was conviniet. I belive however black just let him in so that they could form Voltron. That is NOT my Shiro. I just hope this does not jave to do with more fighting for the black paliden spot again. That was a CATastraphi. Sorry sorry. Anyways, it help with making sure they din't die, but it has raised suspicios if we are wrong and that really is Shiro. We will just have to wait and see.

Well to be honest thats about it. Everything else was plot wise sad parts. Three people dying. why???? No. Why as much as that was sad it helped move the plot foward. It was not really a con in the season more or less just something sad that made me mad.

*pro*

1. MATT AND PIDGE. This was beutiful the episode deticated towards it; it was beyon magnificant. This boy is everything we have ever hoped for. I love him. Both of them are now my children just as Keith is.

2. BOM Keith. It was awesome to see how he worked with them. Yet it was sad seeying him go. I've sen people talk about this. However must of them just talk about Lance being sad seeying him go. I do agree with that, but can we have a moment to talkabout Keith's feelings.

He got atached to them. We see he almost died in an explotion to save one; only for that same person to die in an explotion. That soldier is most likely not the only one Keith feel atached to. The poor boy has to see them get hurt or die. These are a part of the group of people that actually accept him. It must be so devestating. Imagen loosing a family member each day. My poor son.

He also left the team. The first group of people that he ever thought of as family. He left for many reasons. He was willing to SACRIFICE himself. Is that how much he thinks he means to the team. He is better of dead than alive??? There is just to much to say. To the people who complained he din't get anough screen time. There is some heavy lood right there in plain sight. You just wanted it to be said.

3. Filler episode. Some people said it was unessesary and horrible. I will agree that seeying Hunk as "comic relieaze" was insulting to his character arc. At the same time howvwr we saw much more character development in Coran. We saw how despret he was to prove the team he able to help. He did, but I'm not sure if he is 100% ok still. That must have been hard. He was put down when the shows failed. He lony wants to help them.

4. We saw a new light of the generals. We saw how the loked up to him, but when they're own was killed becuase she was infected by Haggar. They took action. This is intresting as it made him come to Voltron. I winder what will happen to them.

5. Lotor's switch. When bieng betrayed by his owngeneralls he went to Voltron the only people that would be able to help him. I'm not sure what DreamWorks is planning to do with him. I do know however seeying his character grow, change, or see he is faking this act will be fun and intresting.

6. How can I NOT talk about Allura's character. We can see she ia more accepting to Keith and has grown so much. She can't do things on her own she will need the paladins to help her out. Thats were we see her growth more;when Lance gave her those words of encouragment. That helped them in that situation, but it also helped her grow. I'm sorry I just- I just love this godess😭😭😭

7. Some people say we got a season 1 type of Lance this season. All the progres he made was destroyed. However I would like to disagree with that. It's clear by the way he acts he hides his inccecurities by bieng flirty and whity. A flerting Lance is what we got, but by looking at him in the background we can see his true feelings. The reason we think they just obliteraited his development was because he never talked about it. Think about it the only time we have ever seen him open up to people is when the two are having a one on one conversation. With everything in this season not only is he bussy with the fight against the galra, but the plot is always moving. We only had 6 episodes. So we din't exacly get to see him open up.

Welp thats all I have to say over all I loved this season. I hope people soon start to see what was good in it. Can we please get together again for one day and not be at each other????? Like when Keiths vlog came out. Is that so much to ask????? Anyways thanks foe listening to me ramble on. Even though you have probably read millions of these. I'm sure someone has said this better already but still.

Have a sweel night everyone!!!

[sabrinaacarpenters]

What’s your number?

Read on AO3 / chapter 2 

Eva woke up to the sound of someone snoring loudly next to her ear. She silently got out of bed, tip toed all the way to the bathroom and stared at her reflection. There were massive bags under her eyes, her hair was flat and tangled up in pieces. She sighed, brushed her teeth, put on some mascara and concealer, brushed her hair and snuck back to the bedroom and slipped into the bed.

His boyfriend, Adrian woke up after she settled back and she pretended that she just woke up as well; this was her everyday morning routine: get out of bed before him, make herself look presentable then lie and say she woke up like this.

He never noticed any of it, but then again, he still hasn’t noticed Noora’s wedding invite which she put next to his bagel every morning.

“Soo” Eva sat down next to him and looked at him hopefully “Noora’s wedding is coming up and I was wondering if you were free then” she smiled at him “There’s a vegetarian option on the menu”

“Ohm .. I don’t know baby, that sounds kind of serious” was he serious? They’ve been together for 3 months now and he was practically living off of her.

“I thought it was serious, you know, since I pay your phone bill” Eva faked a smile. She was furious; she let an another asshole into her life once again, who wouldn’t even go with her to a wedding. He didn’t answer, he just tried to reach for her hand but she pulled it away. “Pack your stuff and leave” she remained calm and went to the bathroom to take a cold shower. She didn’t cry; she was relieved. She had to take so much shit from him in the past 3 months. Her only problem was that she alone once again for the wedding, and she couldn’t really go alone; she was the maid of honour. By the time she was done in the shower, he had packed up his stuff and stood in the door. Was he trying to say goodbye? Eva could care less; she was actually hoping that he would leave by the time she came out the bathroom.

“Bye Adrian” She opened the door for him and tapped on it, she hoped he would notice that she really doesn’t want to see him anymore.

“You know if you ever want to do anything” he wiggled his brows suggestively. Ew. “Just give me a call”

“I’d love to, but I don’t know if you’ll find another idiot in this city who will pay your phone bills now that I won’t” she smirked at him and waved him off. She was about to shut the door when she heard chuckling from the opposite door. Great. The last person she wanted to see this morning. Chris.

Chris was the asshole who lived in the flat across hers; she wouldn’t really have any problem with him if he wasn’t a sexist dick, who fucks a different girl every night, making them believe that he’s actually interested in them. Oh, and let’s not forget about the fact, that because he’s William’s best friend, she’ll have to spend days with him when the destination wedding happens.

He was standing in front of his leaning down for the newspaper, like a normal person, except he was completely naked. Thankfully he had the decency to hold a small towel in front of his dick.

“Please don’t even start” Eva begged him. She already had a shit day, she didn’t his sick jokes too.

“Mohn, I was just about to compliment you, that was a nice comeback” he winked at her and opened his arms, so Eva could see him in all his glory. She obviously had to check him out. Impressive. He noticed and smirked at her and she smirked back and held eye contact. However, when a blonde, certainly not dressed enough girl appeared behind his back, whining his name, she quickly looked away. He rolled his eyes and pushed the girl back and closed the door. Eva shut her own as well.

  “Can you believe that? ‘that sounds kind of serious’” Eva mimicked Adrian’s voice and Noora chuckled on the other end of the line.

“Actually I can” she laughed “I don’t even know why you dated him in the first place. He is a freaky hippie vegetarian who justifies not showering for 3 days with ‘I’m protecting mother nature’” Noora deepened her voice as well and they both laughed.

“I guess you’re right, I do love meat” Eva was on her way to the studio where she taught kids contemporary dance. “But it just sucks that I’m without a partner again and the wedding is in 2 months”

“You know you don’t have to bring a significant other right? Chris is William’s best man and he’s coming alone” Noora tried to reason with her.

“Noora, if you’re trying to convince me that going alone is a good idea, because that pig is going alone, you’re just making me want to get a boyfriend more. The only reason he doesn’t take anyone is because this way he has a better chance at fucking your bridesmaids” Eva scoffed. While she was ranting, she arrived to the studio, quickly said goodbye to Noora and started working.

 On her way home, she started reading Cosmopolitan on the subway; she knew it is just a stupid magazine to make girls feel insecure, but she had nothing better to do since she left her earpods at home. As she flipped through the pages an article caught her eye: What’s your number? It was an article about the number of women’s sex partners throughout their lives. Deep down she knew that a number doesn’t define a person, but she was also curious.

“The average woman has 10.5 partners in her lifetime.”

“What the fuck?” she blurted out loudly. The lady sitting next to her frowned at her “I’m sorry, it’s just this article says that the average woman has 10.5 partners in her lifetime” Eva looks at the lady with a shocked expression.

“Yeah, that’s way too much” the lady nods.

“What?” Eva is surprised “No, that is a way too low number” she feels really offended. She’s sure she’s over the 10 mark now, maybe even above 20. She can’t stop thinking about it, so when she gets home she starts making a list.

Jonas Vasquez, Vilde, Alexander Williamson, Matthias Pettersen, Peter from public relations class, Theodor Larsen, Thomas Berg, Julian Dahl, Mikael Boukhal, Oliver Lund, Konrad from the 2th floor, Agnes Svendsen, Else Mathisen.

13. She knew there were more but she couldn’t remember any more names. She knew she shouldn’t be but she felt more embarrassed than ever in her life before.

 Noora decided that they could all use a girl’s night out, so they went out to their favourite bar. In the meantime, Eva came up with 3 new names and Noora helped her remember 3 more. She was at 19. It was all she thought; she didn’t remember anyone else. As they drank more and more Eva cried about her new discovery in Cosmo to the girls. Sana took the rumpled magazine out of her hand and quickly read through it.

“According to a study, 70% of women who have been with more than 20 partners will never marry” Sana read out loud. Eva’s last pieces of self-esteem were crushed. She was one new sex partner away from never getting married and dying alone.

After what seemed like a million shots, she made an announcement “The next person I fuck I will fucking marry” she shouted and almost fell off her chair because she was so drunk.

 That was her last memory from the previous night as started opening her eyes, but she quickly shut them again because of the sudden brightness. She heard a loud snort. Please let it be Vilde, please, please, please. She chanted to herself. She slowly turned her head and saw a naked butt, which certainly didn’t belong to Vilde. She peeked under her covers with a withering expression: yep. She was naked.

She ran to the bathroom and called Noora. The guy was still fast asleep in her bed. “Pick up, pick up, pick up” she said it like a mantra, as if Noora would answer sooner because of it.

“Eva, it is 7 am and I came home at 2 am. It better be important” Judging by her voice, Noora woke up to her phone’s ringing.

“There is a naked guy in my bed and I have no idea who it is or how he got here for that matter” Eva sputtered. She was freaking out.

“Well, then congrats” Eva didn’t understand what there was to congratulate to, what the heck did she do last night? “He’s going to be your husband, remember?” Noora laughed.

“Noora, there is nothing remotely funny about this. I’m going to fucking die alone” Eva almost started crying, she was so devastated.

“Hey, it might turn out to be a good thing. Positive attitude” she could hear Noora was smiling and she decided to be more optimistic. She peeked into her bedroom and noticed that Mysterious Guy woke up. And he scratched his junk and smelled his fingers. Nope, back to being Negative Nancy.

“No way he will be my husband” she ended the call without saying goodbye – she would call her back after she kicks this disgusting person out. She took all her courage and went back into her bedroom. He was putting his pants on – thank god – she coughed and he looked up.

“Good morning” she tried to smile at him but it probably looked more like she drank half a litre lemon juice “The thing is you should probably go” he looked at her questioningly. Come on Eva, come up with something “My roommate can be home any minute and he hates when people stay over for the night. So yeah- Could you leave, like now?” She basically ran out of her room to the kitchen. These past days have been more embarrassing than the previous 26 years she lived on this earth. There was a loud knock on the door. As she unlocked it, the person on the other side opened it and walked in like he owned the place.

“Morning” Chris dropped himself on the couch only in his grey sweatpants. Did he not own any shirts? Eva wouldn’t have had a problem with his lack of clothing, if it wasn’t Chris. She didn’t want him to think (to know) that she was attracted to him, at least to the way he looked so she looked at his face instead of his toned abs and muscular arms.

“What are you doing here?” Eva was about to bite his head off, when Mysterious Guy came out of her bedroom thankfully now fully clothed. Chris’s head snapped at him.

“Hi you’re the roommate?” the guy asked from Chris.

“No I’m the boyfriend” Chris answered him threateningly and guy literally ran out the door. Chris started laughing “Well that was fun. Who was that loser anyway?”

“I have no idea” Eva subsided into the couch and buried her face in her hands.

“Eva, Eva, Eva. I’m beginning to think that we’re alike more than I thought”

“If that is true, then there is no other way out. Excuse me while I go jump out from my window” Chris laughed and grabbed Eva’s arm as she tried to stand up.

“Come on I can’t be that bad” he winked at her and she raised her eyebrows.

“Why are you here anyways?” Eva tried to change the subject.

“I was kind of in the same situation as you. Last night’s girl is a bit clingy, and doesn’t really get that the point of a one-night stand is that she leaves in the morning” Chris shrugged.

“Chis” Eva looked at her meaningfully “You’re in this situation every other day” he laughed.

“You’d be surprised but most of them actually leave without making a deal about it”

Eva was thinking for a while and she realized that the longer the girl is in Chris’s apartment, the longer he will be in hers, so she came up with a plan.

“What I’m about to do will never happen again, you get it?” she jumped up from the couch, went out the door, straight across the hall and opened up Chris’s door. He watched her from her doorway, he had no idea what she was doing. “Hey babe I’m home” Eva shouted, looking around as if she was looking for him. A tall, blonde girl only in her panties and Chris’ shirt stood in the kitchen. Eva eyed her from head to toe disdainfully. “Who the fuck are you?” she yelled at her. The girl wasn’t the brightest, she still didn’t realize she just fucked somebody’s boyfriend (or at least, that was what she should’ve realized) so she just looked at Eva dumbfounded. “Get the fuck out of my apartment you fucking slut. He has a girlfriend you know, maybe you should ask next time you open your legs to a stranger” Eva screamed hysterically; she was surprisingly enjoying herself, and the girl’s facial expression was priceless. The blonde ran out of the apartment without a word.

As Eva walked backed to her apartment Chris was waiting for her in the doorway, clapping “You continue to surprise me” he chuckled and leaned close to her ear. Too close. “And here I thought you were finally going to kiss me” he pushed her hair behind her ear and was about to kiss her neck when she hit his chest and pushed him away.

“Fuck off” she walked into her kitchen and started making coffee. “You know you can leave now; your apartment is free again” she gestured towards the door.

“Thank you” he walked over to the kitchen and stood on the opposite side of the island. “You were really good in that you know. For a second even I believed that you’re my girlfriend” he chuckled, but he seemed genuinely amazed.

“You wish” she smirked at him.

Chris looked down. Yeah, he does.

[surveystodestressme]

15.

A – Accidents

01. Have you ever been in a car accident? i've been in three actually lol

02. Do you have a lot of scars? kind of..

03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? no

04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? not like physically

05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? not that i know of

B – Beauty

06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? yeah, i think i am

07. Are you self conscious of how you look? not at all.

08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? i only put makeup on occasionally and when i do it's only lipstick or eyeliner

09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? nah

10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? their personality and how they treat others.

C – Consequences

11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? not very long. my parents never stuck to it

12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? i really want to say that i'd do the right thing and have the baby then just give it up for adoption... but at this point in my life, i really can't have a child so i honestly don't know

13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? sometimes i do.

14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? taking my loved ones away from me

15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? i'm not for sure

D – Dealing

16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? i'll usually say really passive aggressive things or just say that i want to be left alone

17. Name a time when you had to be strong. when i was giving up on hurting myself. i mean, i guess i shouldn't say it like that. when i decided to get help and stop hurting myself. it was hard to get help and it was a hard thing to stop.

18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? my parents have fought before but nothing serious

19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? well, when i went to school, i just ignored them. i was so used to getting picked on that i just figured it was always gonna happen, ya know?

20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Explain how you got through it. honestly, the most traumatizing death i've ever gone through was my cat, lilly. she was 16 years old. she was a part of my life since i was 3 years old. she was so important to me. she slept with me every single night, under the cover and cuddled up next to me. she was so lovable. i saw her deteriorate over her last year of life. it was so hard because i saw her become really lazy, she lost half of her body weight, she stopped eating, she stopped sleeping with me, she even cried whenever people tried to pet her. it was so hard to get over her death because she was everything to me. she was the best cat ever. i will never forget her

E – Experience

21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? i've had several

22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? i mean, i think i'm pretty experienced.

23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? i've been through a lot in the past.

24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? i will be once i finish college

25. How old do you act? i think i act my age

F – Family

26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? nah

27. If you had to choose, family or friends? family probably

28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? yeah, i think so

29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? two. i used to get jealous of my sister all the time because all the people that i had crushes on always had a thing for her and it annoyed me lol

30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? at least once a week if not more

G – Growing

31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were? i'm 4'11" and i wish i was at least 5 foot lol

32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? lol no

33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? i think i'm pretty mature

34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? nahh i have no reason to be scared. i'm actually excited for the future

35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? absolutely

H – Hope

36. Love – real or not? real

37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? optimist

38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? i think actions lead the way definitely

39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? i don't think so

40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? i have people who love and care about me who are always here for me

I – Issues

41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? i used to, but i've got it under control now

42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? nope

43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? nada

44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? absolutely not

45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? not anymore at all.

J – Jokes

46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & one of your friends (an inside joke) darude sandstorm

47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? i make people laugh a lot

48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? sometimes i do, but it's not super common

49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! i can't think of anything right now

50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? lol yes, honestly. in high school they used to move me to sit by other people and then i'd just talk to them too.

K – Knowledge

51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? to learn

52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? smart.

53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? i finished high school and am currently attending college

54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? i have no idea, i usually get between A's or B's

55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? science

L – Love

56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? yes i am!

57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? i think so

58. Is love worth it? i believe so

59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? it used to bother me, but honestly some people just fall really fast and that's okay. i told jack i loved him after only dating for 3 months so i definitely believe someone can honestly just fall in love quickly and that's perfectly normal.

60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? i only tell people i love them if they mean a lot to me

M – Money

61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? yeah

62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? probably just slightly below average

63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? i'm in college now

64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? well, i've already found the perfect person so i'd rather win the millions

65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 8

N – Naughty

66. Are you a virgin? nope

67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? i don't judge people that do it, it doesn't bother me any

68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? nah, i don't judge people based on how much sex they do or don't have

69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? nahhh

70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! nice i guess lol

O – Openness

71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? it usually takes some time

72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? it takes some time for me because i've been screwed over before.

73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? ^^^^

74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? i don't know, when i trust them fully, i guess??

75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? i tell my parents anything if they ask, and same goes for friends.

P – Positive

76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? i mean, yeah i've had bad experiences with people but those experiences have made me who i am today and i wouldn't be me without experiencing those things

77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? yes and no. i'd rather to have loved and continue to be loved and love in return lol

78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? optimistic

79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? sure

80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because of it? If so, please explain what it was: i'm sure i have but i can't think of anything

Q – Questions

81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? i try to figure it out myself before asking for help

82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? i don’t question it at all.

83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? let’s be real, probably not.

84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? i will probably confront them

85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? the kennedy assassination or the moon landing

R – Respect

86. How do you show respect? manners

87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? be disrespectful, hurt someone on purpose, do something completely wrong or illegal

88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? yeah

89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? they just yell at me or send me to my room

90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? it depends on the person/situation

S – School

91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into? junior yr of college

92. When will you graduate high school/college? a couple years still

93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? i took a year off from school then i went to the junior college by my house

94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? i love it

95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? nah

T – Temptation

96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? several times

97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? yeah, that's how i got into smoking cigarettes. but i drank all on my own.

98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? nah

99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? What did you end up doing? i wanted to. i knew him but we were just friends, i almost had a threesome with him and my best friend when i was really drunk

100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? independent

U – Unique

102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? i used to be like that but no more

103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? i wear what i want

104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? not usually

105. What makes you different from people your age? i don't really know lol

V – Value

106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? my computer

107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? my loved ones are more important, i would sacrifice myself for them in a heartbeat

108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? my baby blanket

109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? my cat!!

110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? they’re about the same.

W – Wishes

111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? happiness and a sense of accomplishment

112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? my loved ones.

113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? nah

114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? not that i can think of

115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? kind of

Y – You

121. Are you more independent or social? independent

122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? crime, rape, abuse

123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? absolutely

124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? nurture over nature.

125. Do you think people are generally good? everyone can be good

Z – Zest

126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? yes i am happy with my life

127. Do you go on FacebookCraze.com to get facebook survey’s and quizzes like this one? nope i get them from tumblr

128. When change occurs, do you get scared or are you excited for it? depends on if it's change that's going to benefit my life or not

129. Do you like to try new things, meet new people? yes i do

130. What is the most motivational thing in the world? idk.

[prettyflyforacyguy]

all

rlord christ uh okay

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

kitchen Table. ;3

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

good!!!!! it was early morning and aiden was off work so we decided to mess around and it was just v low stress and nice

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

hm uh. who;s that one tiger from zootopia? shit dice drew a commission of him a while back. the sexy one. he’d treat me right.

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

there are like a million dumb fucking things aiden does that makes me lose my gdamn mind!!!!!! like, when he loosens his tie and gives me The Sex Look or kisses my neck in a certain spot... luv that husband

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

somewhere kids could see :/

6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when ______________

one time admittedly when i was new to anal i had the inevitable ShitDick scenario bc i didn’t know how to prep myself properly........im so fucking sorry, trey, im so sorry

7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

this petsmart flyer came in the mail once. that was a weird jerkoff. made me realize im deep in petplay pff

8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: Handcuffs, Rope, or Other [if other please explain]:

aiden;s been practicing shibari and it’s pretty fun! i’d say its my fav way to be restrained rn 

9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:

it aint hard idk

10: Top or bottom?

this bitch be bottomin, my ass is Ready

11: We were about to ____________ but then ______________ [example: we were about to have sex but then his mom walked in]

12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary?

it depends on how much stamina u have or if you’re in the mood for more? that time waiting for the refractory period tho suuuuuuuucks, im so jealous of dfab ppl that can come multiple times :/

13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

a valentine’s present for aiden, shhh

14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

sometimes aiden fuckign. does French Shit and i dont know what he’s saying until after but it’s kind of become a joke because we’ll be having a really nice moment and he’ll lean in and like, whisper some bullshit like “my little lima bean” or “my sweet polished fork” and i fuckignt rftg,,, IT STILL SOUNDS HOT, WHY IS HE LIKE THIS 

15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex:

that “pop” noise when ur mouth comes off the dick. also, when he like, holds your head with his fingers tangled in your hair and bobs your head down on his cock g gg go gogfdoood thats so hot i love it when he does that to me its nice

16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:

welcome 2 Trauma Land next question

17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]

yeah. it’s a pretty slutty thing to do, it’s not great tasting if u don’t like, pineapple and shit but it’s a pretty good way to get your partner turned on more

18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

if u and ur partner get tested together and r clean and not seeing anyone else

19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had?

my sophomore year humanities teacher in my study abroad program....holy Fuck. hooooly fuck. mr. nakamura still gets me going to this day. he has a wife tho :(

20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:

whipped creaaaam!

21: How big is too big:

some bad dragons are really intimidating. christ.

22: One sexual thing you would never do:

let ppl use me as an object again :/

23: Biggest turn on:

humiliation is pretty good

24: Three spots that drive you insane:

my neck

my back

my pussy, and my crack.

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

driving is pretty rough.

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

ch r is  t  y es

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

define “worst,” anon.

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

who fucking calls it “fapping” still

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

Yikes^TM

30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji:

is this like, a lesbian thing? i dont get it

31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut:

YA GATTA NUT!

32: Fill in the blank: "If they ____________, we are fuckin"

IF THEY TRUCKIN WE ARE FUCKIN!

33: What your favorite part of your body:

my belly........? idk i used to Hate My Mcfuckin Self but aiden blows raspberries on me and its fkin cute holy hell

34: Favorite foreplay activities:

if i suck on aiden’s fingers he basically fucking Dies on the spot, so that’s fun to use. for myself, uhh. thigh kisses are hot. so hot.

35: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]

there was a a time when i wouldve said sex is bnetter but no, it’s Lov....i Love Husband

36: What do you wear to bed?

boxers, and my husband

37: When was the first time you masturbated:

probably when i was like nine or ten? in the “i dont know this is masturbating but it kinda feels nice” way

38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

there’s a lot floating around there but most of it is during The Bad Time

39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?

uhhh shit its been a while i can’t really remember?

40: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

mhm. it’s not my fav tho

41: Have/would you ever had a threesome?

i;ve had more than a threesome, buddy

42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?

when i was young and desperate and trying anal for the first time i used a vibrating toothbrush but no one told me you’re supposed to not use the brush end. the bristles were rough. 

43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school?

yes to both?? im a tiny troglodyte man what do u expect

44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

maybe? this is a very specific situation, i know aiden would rather die than do anything on a plane tho

45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

i feel it coming - daft punk

46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny?

literally like anything can make me hard im fucking easy

47: Most attractive celebrity?

my husband....he’s a star, to Me...

48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?

yes. source: am gay

49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now?

Unborn.

50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

yes. i dont particularly like to think abt it but there’s a. big fan community wanting me to “come back” and it makes me super uncomfortable.

51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny?

girls :/

52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?)

i have a couple on my thighs and my belly from some healthy weight gain, but aiden doesn’t mind. he likes em

53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not)

dick....me Sucky Cock...nya

54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

i dont rlly care

55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?

i was a few people’s first lay and it was uh. difficult. they think they can just pound a man’s ass like their fleshlight and it’s rough when you’re like, laying there and your ass is on fire while you remind them to use more lube and also fucking go slower to start

56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?

sticky rice. good fucking lord, do not use sticky rice.

57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see?

not really? we don’t hide things from each other

58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

we own a Shit ton. i’ve had some since i was like, a teenager but i’ve been collectin some over the years

59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day?

oh god no. aiden barely knows what memes are

60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

no, me and aiden have already discussed like, scar reduction shit. i have a few nasty keloids :/

61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

neither?? i mean, i was both for a while but *SLAMS TRAUMA BUTTON*

62: Do you watch porn?

duh

63: How small is too small?

all dick is good dick!!!!

64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?

continues to Slam the Trauma Button

65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day?

probably not because aiden’s in a group chat with his work buddies and they’re all middle aged or young mom nurses. im a fish out of water.

67: Do you feel comfortable going "commando"?

sure, as long as its not like skinny jeans or something

68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn't shaved their pubic hair?

not rlly. good dick is good dick

69: If you could give yourself head, would you?

im p sure everyone tries but usually i get my husband to B)

70: Booty or Boobs?

ass. please god, i’m all about ass

71: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

Ass Blaster 69

72: Have you ever been on an official date?

yes? like a movie and restraunt thing?

73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

not that i know of, but there was a point when i was pretty low in life that i hopped around w/ partners and one night stands.

74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be?

the Pole Faller. i have no body strength and im named that bc i’d fall off the pole

75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?)

no??????????? nO??

76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed?

what...what kind of question even is this

77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina

“god i wanna put my mouth all over that”

78: If you had a penis/vagina for a day, what are five things you would do?

DOUBLE PENETRATION!!!!!! DOUBLE PENETRATION!!!!!

[spiceukonline]

Georgia Meets "Dark Pop" Duo City Conga

THE first thing I notice about City Conga before the interview has even started is how accommodating they are.

A few days before the interview is due to take place, I confess to one-half of the music duo that as hard as I may try, I am not a London girl and cannot think of a “cool” enough interview location. Taking pity on my country ways, they email me a location and we sit down to chat in The Troubadour in Earls Court, which is possibly the most indie bar I’ve ever stepped foot in.

In typical “me” fashion, I walk straight past them to the other end of the bar, looking hopelessly lost, until one of them taps me on the shoulder. This is 22-year-old James-Eden Hutchinson, who I will come to learn likes to refer to himself in the third person. He’s dressed like an advert for Urban Outfitters, and I will spend the whole interview trying to match up his aesthetic against his well-spoken demeanour.

He embraces me and tells me it’s “lovely” to see me again, and introduces himself to my photographer, before pointing over to where his other half, 23-year-old Dan Choppen, is sitting. Dan does not get up when we approach him and watches us cautiously, and I instantly notice he appears a lot more reserved than James, who seems eager to please. Dan’s aesthetic is what I call “effortless,” dressed in a simple T-shirt featuring a scene from a movie I am nowhere near cool enough to have seen.

By this point, I’m confused about a lot of things. I’m confused about how these two found each other, confused about what genre of music they belong to and furthermore, still confused about how to operate the Circle and District line.

Firstly though, I want to address where in the world they got the name “City Conga,” and whether they are aware it has the potential to sound like the next dance craze or a strip club in Soho.

James (left) and Dan (right).

Dan admits that they went through a lot of potential names, but the penny finally dropped for him after spending a weekend back home. ‘I thought about the massive contradiction between the city, the business people doing the 9-5 type thing, and students like us stressing about not having a job after uni,’ says Dan, ‘and then I just got this image of all the business boys in like a conga dancing to work. I came back and said to James and he was like “that sounds cool.”’

Cool indeed, and that’s the vibe they seem so keen to give off, so much so that I feel artsier just breathing the same air as them.

James and Dan met when they were both students at The University of Westminster, studying mixed media arts. I nod when they mention this last part, even though I have no idea what such a degree entails. Initially working on their own “soundscapes,” they eventually “jumped in” on each other’s solo work and began writing together. Not only are they now one another’s bandmate, but they also live together and are best friends.  How do they work together when they’re always in each other’s space?

Dan explains the creative collaboration process in possibly one of the best-worst analogy I’ve ever heard. ‘It’s kind of like that game you played as a kid called “hot potato,”’ he says, (it should be noted that I never played this game as a child), ‘I’ll have the potato and then I’ll chuck it on to James, and then he’ll add something and then I’ll add something and then the potato is perfectly cooked at the end.’

They admit that their “sound” is difficult to describe, and having seen them perform live, I would also agree. Experimental, angsty and synth heavy, their vibe is reminiscent of The 1975 or The Neighbourhood, without the poppy overtones and the floppy-haired poster boy. I recall being at a recent gig of theirs not being sure whether to sway thoughtfully, whoop like a teenage girl or start forming a mosh pit.

So how would they describe their sound to someone who was approaching it for the first time?

They look at each other as if they’re sharing some kind of inside joke that I’m not allowed to be privy to.

‘We’ve come up with a one liner,’ says Dan finally.

After a prolonged and slightly awkward hesitation, James pipes up: ‘I want to say Dark Renaissance.’

‘Dark Renaissance?’ I repeat uneasily, which perhaps gives the impression that I’m challenging his creative authority because in a moment of insecurity he backpedals and says “I’m not quite sure that fits.

Dan tries to save James from the hole he has dug himself, but that doesn’t go to plan either. “We say dark pop duo because influences range from…it’s weird really because one minute we’re listening to the Clash and the next minute we’re listening to Biggie.”

Biggie? I didn’t see that one coming.

“Yeah, I guess I’m slightly more hip-hop, broken beat more like actually DJing and producing music,” says James.

Who would be their dream collaboration?

‘I mean Kanye West would be class,’ James declares. I didn’t see that one coming either.

‘I just find him so intriguing and interesting,’ he elaborates, ‘and even if you try not to like him, I think his ability to instigate and play around with his image and music and everything that he’s pioneered is just very, very interesting. I’d just love to see how his brain works.’

“Dark pop” aside, they seem to be quite positive individuals. There is a sense of charming awkwardness about Dan and a sense that he would happily give you his undivided attention for hours on end. James is careful with his words and avoids eye contact, so much so that multiple times I wasn’t sure if he was talking to himself or not.

But they are fun and interesting, and to all intents and purposes, just like us regular young folk. They enjoy nights out (Peckham’s infamous “Soultrain” is a joint favourite night of theirs), are partial to a bit of laddish debauchery and despite seeming to have it all figured out, come across as being a bit lost post-graduation.

  “Having a diverse range of musical influences is really important. There’s so much stuff out there now.”

  Listening to the one song available on their Soundcloud called “Family Feud,” I’m surprised such dark lyrics could’ve been created inside the minds of the two charismatic lads in front of me. Are their lyrics always so dark and damning?

Dan laughs, aware that they’re never going to be asked to debut on a Disney soundtrack anytime soon. ‘I think our lyrics do often take quite dark turns, maybe because of our course. The lecturers were always like “you’re never going to be able to buy your own house,” “you’re always going to be struggling for money,” “you’re going to die alone,” and we’re like “fucking hell.” And then as the course developed, we realised that there’s a lot of shit wrong with the media industry, and I think that’s where a lot of dystopian or apocalyptic blues all stems from.’

The mood shifts and I suddenly want to order an entire bottle of wine to myself. ‘I mean, “Family Feud” is probably the most depressing song we’ve got,’ Dan clarifies.

What’s so wrong with the media industry then, I ask, aware that the answer is most likely “everything.” 

‘Fake news’ says Dan, and I subconsciously clutch my notebook tighter to my chest, aware that as a journalist, I’m the creative industry’s public enemy #1.

‘The thing that really winds me up, I see it on my Facebook all the time, is that people believe anything they’re given. People say “oh my God, so-and-so did this,” but I’m like yeah but where did that come from? Billybob’snews.org.biz.za or something saying shit and everyone’s like “oh, it must be real.”’

This is the most animated I’ve seen Dan thus far, and I’m slightly taken aback but also want to hear more of what he has to say about the very industry he’s trying to break into.

James fails to outdo Dan on this one, telling me that we’ve “slightly been sold a lie” by the media, and I think reading too much George Orwell can sometimes be a bad thing in situations such as these.

Despite their differences in just about everything, it is that difference, at its very core, that seems to make City Conga what it is and has acted as a help, rather than a hindrance to their collective project.

‘I’d never think to do some of the stuff [Dan] says,’ James confesses, ‘but then [he] does it and I’m like “wow, I was wrong, that was quite good!” And same with me, I’ll be like what about some bongos here and he’s like “really?” and then we do it. Diversity is important, there’s so much stuff out there now.’

They both seem to realise that they have chosen an ever-saturated market to break into. Are they worried that they’ll never “make it?”

James disappears off into his own world again and seems hopeful. ‘ I guess sometimes it’s a challenge to make any noise at all because so many people are doing it,’ he ponders, ‘it’s wicked now that with like £20 you can buy a little sim thing and you can write an album on it and upload it and two million people can hear it. But I guess sometimes it’s like, you wonder…’

Dan finishes his sentence as it becomes clear James is about to venture off into his own personal monologue. ‘How are we going to get ourselves heard?’

On Saturday night, where they play a live set at The Water Rats in King’s Cross, they appear to answer their own question. Playing to a larger audience and their sound significantly more fine-tuned than the last time I saw them, they seem to be actually enjoying themselves this time, even if James’s interpretation of dancing was a bit dodgy, but 10/10 for comedic value.

Dan clocks me after the gig and admires my “dedication” since I have to make it back home to Kent from here. I joke about being eligible for a free T-shirt, and he says I’m like their “no. 1 fan,” by which he means to say “crazed groupie.” I’m not sure whether now is the appropriate time to tell him that my attendance was a personal challenge to see how much I would need to drink to approach edgy indie boys who play the guitar. I wouldn’t say no to a free T-shirt, though.

Nonetheless, with promises of “plenty” more music and a lit music video to come, the conga line is only just getting started.

 City Conga’s EP “For Our Friends” is available on Soundcloud and Spotify 

You can also stay updated on all things City Conga via their Facebook, Instagram and YouTube (yay, new fans) 

WORDS by Georgia Chambers (@Just_GeorgiaSD)

PHOTOS by Robert Bruce (@RobBruceK)