#jokes aside we had a bucket for cleaning and also for vomit

[xadnem]

I was lucky enough to grow up in a house with indoor plumbing.

OK this question has been bugging me all morning so y'all please let me know

bc ours did nd I never thought much of it as a kid but know I'm thinking about it and it feels kinda gross? so pls tell me if this experience was universal or not it will haunt me forever otherwise

[themadauthorshatter]

It's been a while since we last checked on Flippy, so let's see how he's doing!

We start with Cuddles this time, who's sitting upside down on a bench when Petunia and Flaky approach him, asking if he's seen Flippy anywhere.

He has not, because he thought Flippy was with Petunia.

Petunia folds her arms and asks why Flippy would be with her for about a half to a week and a half, and Cuddles shrugs; maybe they got REALLY intimate and just needed all of that time together.

Flaky squeals, because it's dirty, and Petunia tells him to get his mind out of the gutter because this is crazy serious.

Cuddles gets up and relentls and asks if they stopped by his house.

They did, and he wasn't there.

Did they check the woods?

Not there either.

The GYM?

He doesn't even BELIEVE in going to the Gym, most days; why GO to a place to workout when you have the equipment at your house or just outside in general?

Cuddles finally realizes that Flippy's MISSING missing, and gets up, joining the girls with finding their friend.

Flaky hopes that Flippy's okay, but Cuddles assures her that he's smart, he wouldn't do anything stupid like run away.

Funny he say that because Flippy IS doing something stupid, staring at a projector that's showing a bunch of war footage, like pictures that NO AVERAGE PERSON should see.

Splendid cringes as turns a small dial on an IV line and watches Flippy struggle to both handle the medicine that's being pumped into him and not flip out.

Thankfully, all that happens is that he vomits in a bucket.

Splenedid stops the medicine and hands Flippy some water, asking if he's really okay with continuing; they've been at this for a while and they're making very debatable progress.

Flippy washes his mouth out and nods. He can keep going.

Splendid hestitately changes the image to a collage of very familiar faces:

Tiger General, Sneaky, and Mouse Ka-Boom.

Flippy gasps at seeing them and asks how the hell Splendid got these pictures.

Splendid admits it was a simple internet search, because people spread information around like it's a puff puff pass, especially if said information is a tragedy and a victory. He can give Flippy a few minutes, if he needs it.

Flippy only takes a few seconds seeing the faces of his dead partners and nods.

Splendid gets the IV and medicine going again and Flippy takes a few deep breaths as what I call the "Make Me Sick" medicine(MMS for short)(if MMS is a real thing, I deeply and sincerely apologize. I know there's a name for the drug/"medicine" used for aversion therapy, but I forgot it🙏🙏🙏) runs through his system. TV perspective, his eyes dart between Mouse Ka-Boom and Sneaky and he sees old memories of the three in training, i.e. standing still while a drill sergeant yells in their faces and/or tries to make them laugh, having a meal together, goofing around before bed, and even comforting each other after getting tased and pepper sprayed as a part of training.

Flippy's eyes go 'killer instinct-y' and he fights a gag as he remembers how they all promised to meet again once they were out of the army, and how both looked at him with shock, sorrow, and betrayal because of how he accidentally killed them.

The memories change to taking on Tiger General 1v1, how he had to fend for himself, got his hands removed, and was almost strangled to death until he ultimately came out on top amd took down the rest of the enemy base.

When I say he vomits, I mean he VOMITS until there's nothing left to get out of his system and he's dry heaving.

Splendid quickly turns off the projector and gets Flippy off the IV, though the veteran tells him he can take more, he just needs a few minutes.

Splendid, however, tells him to call it a day; they've been at this for hours and he's already making phenomenal progress; of course Splendid is not going to TEST it right now because his friend just threw up all of his digestive system.

Flippy sighs and agrees, relinquishing for the day.

Splendid helps him up and asks if he's okay to walk home and Flippy states he's fine; he just wants to go shower and clean himself up after throwing up so much.

The two bid their farewells and Flippy begins a very uneasy walk home.

A bit of context: it's been a week or so since the last part and they've been doing this all day everyday since then, from dawn to dusk, and today they started around MAYBE 4 am in the morning and it is now 12 or 1 pm in the afternoon, so yeah it's time for the Flipster to go home and rest.

Back on track, Flippy's not exactly the best because he needs to get the vomit taste out of his mouth and just feels like crap, so he takes a shortcut home.

He gets there relatively fast and flops onto the couch and falls asleep, exhausted.

He dreams he's with Sneaky and Mouse Ka-Boom, all three playing a mix of Spades and Poker, Sneaky and Flippy speaking in english before translating for Mouse Ka-Boom to understand them; yes, Mouse Ka-Boom speaks french. He understands English well enough, but isn't the best at speaking it, aside from, 'Sir, yes, sir,' 'Sir, no, sir,' and a few insults he picked up from Flippy on accident; he may or may not have gotten the three in trouble because he repeated one of these insults in front of a commanding officer.

Regardless, the three are having a good time before Sneaky asks Flippy a question: How did it feel to throw that knife at him rather than the General? Did he enjoy it? Did he hate Sneaky that much he had to throw a KNIFE through his chest?

Flippy deflates and clarifies that he did not mean to miss the General; it was a heat of the moment thing and he's, admittedly, not good under stress.

Mouse Ka-Boom lowers his cards and asks if cutting him in half was another 'heat of the moment thing,' along with getting them both blown to smithereens.

They change before Flippy's eyes, both mangles and burnt, and Flippy leaves the table, backing away from them.

That is until a hand claps on his shoulder and his own voice tells him to admit that he actually did enjoy killing his friends; it's what he's been trained to do, so what better way to see the reward of all that effort?

Flippy turns and sees himself, who demands he admit it, admit that he's never going to change, that he won't let himself because not only does he like it, he also wants to go back to fighting and wants out of Splendid's Aversion therapy.

Flippy barely gets a word out because his other self tackles him to the ground and starts to choke him, calling him weak, a liar, and a coward, saying he should've died on that mission, not Sneaky or Mouse Ka-Boom.

Speaking of which, the two appear and grab both of Flippy's arms, holding him while he's practically being strangled again.

It gets worse when his other self turns into Tiger General, who laughs that he wouldn't be surprised by such an admission because it took Flippy how many tries to kill him. Might as well return the favor.

Flippy, breathless and trying to break free screams out and wakes up on the floor, though he gets up and runs to the kitchen sink, where he dry heaves and coughs up spit.

He stops after a while and sits against the cabinets, having regrets about the choice to go along with Splendid's idea.

These regrets linger as he walks outside the next day, catching a toy Cub dropeed while and Pop are on a stroll, though Cub is in a wagon.

They walk off, Pop thanking Flippy, and Flippy gets a surprise attack hug from Flaky, who's close to tears because he's been missing.

Cuddles, Giggles, and Petunia also approach, asking where the hell he disappeared to, because they've been looking all over for him.

Flippy apologizes for worrying them and straight up lies, saying he just left town for a little bit to enjoy some quiet time; and to restock on his medicine as soon as he could because he ran out.

Cuddles still lightly punches Flippy on the arm and tells him not to scare them like that again, or they'll put him on a harness or walk around with him in a wagon.

With Flaky now piggybacking him, Flippy muses that it sounds tempting, because he could see everyone getting some excerise because of it.

The group laugh it off and start toward a diner, because they all skipped breakfast and lunch on accident.

Flippy decides to join them, having NOT skipped breakfast, and they head to the diner.

On his back, Flaky asks Flippy if he's okay, because he looks pale and feels tense.

He nods, claiming he's fine, just a little sore from a workout he did while he was away.

Flaky is suspicious, but drops it. FOR NOW.

Cut to them at the diner, all talking and looking over the menu to see what they want, and a visual gag of Cuddles and Giggles having a contest of who can spin longer in their chairs(they're all sitting at the bar).

Flippy is a little uneasy because ANYTHING can trigger his instincts and he doesn't know how well this aversion procedure is going to qork because neither he nor Splendid went out and actually saw if it was working.

Petunia sees his unease and asks if he needs to step outside for a second.

He shakes his head and admits he's just trying to figure out what to eat.

Good thing he's having a hard time, too, because Petunia is not in the mood for grease.

Flaky fakes a gag or an "Eugh," and jokes, "Ew, flirting."

While Flippy laughs, Petunia DARES Flaky to repeat that, because it was her that helped the two get closer.

His laughter dies when a kitchen fire starts on accident right in front if them.

TV/anime perspective, we see the reflection of the fire in Flippy's eyes as they widen and he gasps/whimpers. We don't see his flashback, but we hear about a bomb going off and people screaming in pain. Flippy clenches a fist on the countertop, silent as the fire is put out and everyone relaxes.

While everyone talks about how crazy that just was, Flippy spontaneouly gets sick to his stomach and gags, excusing himself really quick to go to the bathroom.

The group watch and are now very confused, because usually flame triggers him, but he did not go off on them.

Cuddles, being the only boy, follows Flippy, saying that he'll try not to die in the process.

He does not die, but he does see Flippy vomiting into one of the sinks, very violently, I must say.

Cuddles asks if everything's okay, which scares the crap out of Flippy, but the ex-soldier claims he's fine; the fire just got him scared.

Cuddles doesn't really buy it, and asks another question: Has he been eating, AT ALL? Because he looks like he lost a little bit of weight and sick as hell.

While he waters away his mess, washes out, and wipes off his mouth, Flippy admits he has been, as much as he can, at least.

Cuddles still doesn't buy it, asking WHAT he's eating and when.

Flippy leans over the now clean sink and measures his options.

If he tells the truth, there's a chance his friends are not going to take it well.

If he keeps them in the dark, they will be fine, even though he'll feel even more like garbage.

Flippy turns and holds up his hands in surrender. He's been eating venison to build immunity, and because it, honestly, tastes really good.

Cuddles reels on him, asking why he'd do that when he's almost deathly allergic to the stuff.

Flippy apologizes and admits that, yes, he knows it's stupid, but he's just trying to make himself better, in case they have a cookout and someone accidentally brings venison instead of steak.

Cuddles points out that's BS because NO ONE eats venison(whatever it is)(Flippy corrects him that it's deer), but still drops it because Flippy clearly doesn't want to talk about it; guy code.

Flippy thanks him anyway and they rejoin the group, everyone keeping an eye on Flippy as he eats, Flaky especially, because, having known him the longest, she canntell he's both hiding something and isn't as good as he's pretending to be.

HMMMMMMMM????

[secretadventuresociety]

Episode 27 Recap

What’s up SASholes?! I’m Bren; resident SAStorian and note-taker extraordinaire. Welcome to Episode 27: Under New Management.

The Xarus Problem

We last left off with Kess staring down her jilted ‘lover’ (I mean, if you can call an arranged husband a lover), Xarus, who had just revealed he now owns her childhood home. Well, I say home. I guess childhood MANSION is technically more correct. Anyway, as this red-headed scum delights in Kess’ confusion, a flock of guards file in behind him all dressed in black; anticipating an attack. True to form, Pearce leans over to Kess and asks if he should shoot him, and she waves him away, blowing the whole thing off as a joke. Turns out that ole Xarus lost his humor in a tragic Born-Without-A-Soul accident, so he stares back flatly and invites the group to dinner; suggesting the trio clean up beforehand.

Kess loudly announces that her mother (Norse), Zev, Kü, and Pearce are going to… help… brush her hair? And Xarus just accepts it?? So the definitely-not-suspect group file up to Kess’ bedroom, led by Norse. The party takes in their spotless lavish surroundings in a mixture of disgust and disbelief-- and then they find their destination. The room might as well be adorned with a neon sign reading ���Messy Kessy’. The colors inside are dark and earthy, with flora and drawings of fauna littering the walls, lit by a majestic bay window. In an awkward silence, Kü compares the living space to the shit-covered walls of his cavern home, then switches gears to ask if all fathers come with so much tension.

Norse gently explains that Xarus isn’t Kess’ father, but was her husband-to-be, who recently took over the house and the super-secret ‘family business’. Surprise-- Kess’ family is a band of merry Robin Hoods who keep Mardosta eating with silver spoons. Despite being there the whole time— Norse doesn’t quite understand how the boring, ginger-haired square of a man grew the balls to overthrow their reign of thievery; but she momentarily morphs into fantasy Vin Diesel (not actually, I know it’s a little weird ‘cause technically she’s a changeling and very much COULD do that) and tells Kess they can handle it As A Family.

An Iris by Any Other Name

After assuring The Nobodies aren’t going to kill Xarus in his sleep, Mama Shadowmore pulls Kess aside and leads her to the family greenhouse. It smells overwhelmingly like smoke, and as they enter, Kess sees hundreds of her black and white flowers. You know the ones. Norse then tells her how they tried to cover Kess’ absence, the way she would go into the greenhouse to just sit somewhere that smelled like her daughter (OUCH, dude), and all about the first night she saw one of the Irises appear. From that night on, Norse and Kess’ father Arthur would sit and wait for a flower to bloom; knowing somehow it was connected to their daughter’s safety. Now, if you thought your teeth were rotting out from the sweetness already-- that’s when Kess hugs her mom for the first time in years, and sometime during the embrace, Norse drops her high elf facade and embraces her daughter in all her changeling glory before Kess grows a flower just for her. Touching stuff. You crying yet? No? Just me?

Dry those eyes, though, because now we’re on to some shenanigans. As Kess and her mom are off repairing their relationship, Pearce and Kü attempt to make themselves at home. After grabbing a drink with Zev, the pair stake out a guest bedroom with an adjoining bathroom. Pearce ushers Kü inside and offers to guard the door as he showers, which the kobold has CERTAINLY done before. Tons of times. In his underground home. Despite this setback, Kü figures out the tub quickly, but the challenge becomes when he needs to drain the water. He finds a bucket, remembers that the toilet gets rid of its own fluid, and scoops up the grimy bathwater like a scaly Mickey Mouse. But that’s not all. Getting to the bottom of the tub, he notices a chain floating in the dregs and hauls out a crowbar to liberate it.

Pearce, hearing a sudden thump and fearing a sneak attack, manhandles his way into the bathroom and finds a wet Kü who laments about the ‘necklace’ at the bottom of the tub. The gunslinger quickly realizes it’s a chain for the drain (heh, a rhyme) and shoves Kü out. He then takes a pile of Zev’s clothes he found and dresses, appalled at the deep-v tunic and skin tight leather pants he is now sporting. Being his only choice, he chastely covers his bare chest and spikes his hair, coming out of the bathroom to help Kü shine his helmet. Yes, that helmet. Pearce is making Mother’s skull GLEAM. Kess, after realizing she could just change her form in lieu of ACTUALLY bathing, brings Kü a long silk tunic to replace his dress and steals a white button-up from her dad for Pearce. Now they’re Awkward Dinner Party ready!

Evil Exes, Amirite?

In case you’ve forgotten, Kess has a Brady-Bunch-worthy family. She runs into her dad, and later all three of her brothers: Zev, his twin Voss, and Rook. However, these aren’t all of the introductions the party is subjected to. As they enter the dining room in what I can only imagine is Oh My God They’re So Hot Slow Motion (with Kess donning her owl, Tibbins, for intimidation), they lay eyes on an unfamiliar and unimpressed elven woman who Xarus introduces as Sienna-- his current fiance. Well, he sure did move on fast. Between Sienna’s eye rolls, Kü’s harried feasting, and EVERYONE’S overwhelming discomfort, Xarus describes how he grew suspicious when Kess disappeared. After a little digging, he found out about the family’s arrangement with the city’s mayor, Vendreth; how he caught her criminal parents and promised them protection if they used their forces to help his failing city thrive.

Kess doesn’t see any issue, but Xarus laments that the townspeople have no idea who is running the show. It’s a clear threat, as Kess realizes the denizens would run them out of Mardosta if they knew the truth. Happy with himself and his mind games, Xarus invites his elven mistress to retire to their chambers with him…. if you know what I mean. She emotionlessly agrees, and the two leave the family alone. The Nobodies excitedly chatter about their exploits; no adventure going untold. Kü even introduces his mother, Marrow, and spends a moment praising Norse for being a good mother too. Pearce changes the subject to their treasure map, showing it briefly to Voss. He has no idea what the X’s could mean, but implores them to keep him updated. Norse then asks how long the party is staying-- enticing them with an upcoming festival that is SURE to have stickmeat. Kess proposes they stay for a while, saying they could make use of the family library and also figure out what the X closest to Mardosta hides.

Pearce not-so-subtly asks about the family’s trading habits, mostly trying to gauge if they have any dealings with his absent father. Turns out this ain’t an arms race, it’s a goddamn scene, and with routes halted in Larsham and Evercrest, the business has slowed down to a trickle. Kess breaks the business talk with a proposal for her companions and her siblings to go out on the town, and so they all prepare for a night in Mardosta. Pearce grabs his gun, Kess raids Rook’s training room for daggers (noticing a hefty potion collection), and everyone bundles up for the biting weather as they walk to the docks.

The Return of Nice Ghost

Kü spots a stationary boat in the water, with a rumpled dragonborn climbing out of it. Sus. As they get closer, they notice that it’s not a boat at all, but a disguised opening to a meeting spot called ‘The Underfrost’. Kess leads them down the cavernous tunnel lined with torches until they reach the bottom. Once there, they feast their eyes on merchants, a bar, and an imposing fighting pit-- all teeming with figures of all races. Kü jumps on the chance to, as he so eloquently describes it, ‘fuck shit up’; racing off with Voss and Zev in tow to sign up to battle. Kess instructs Pearce to place bets for the both of them as she grabs drinks… which turns out to be a monumentally bad idea. Pearce throws down 500 gold on Kü for himself but-- without express instructions from the druid-- dumps out her bag and wagers all of her 1,275 pieces of gold.

It turns out Kü is the next challenger to face… get this… Dickius Muscular. Is it his fantasy God-given name or a stage moniker? The world may never know. In any case, fervent hands push him toward the pit-- one attempting to remove his helmet. In retribution, Kü bites the tip of the offending person’s pinkie off, keeping his adornment as he summons a flood of shadows from it to cover him in armor. Thus the fight begins, and the massive goliath Dick...ius attacks our boy Kücifer with a mace in a blinding rage. Kü retaliates with his Bonemerang-- and when that does less damage that he expected, he summons Nice Ghost to keep him company. The spectral being chases after the goliath relentlessly; booping him any time he can come close. Dickius flees from the spectre, pursuing Kü-- who wreaths himself in shadow and disappears. Out of the darkness comes two fireballs, liberated from the kobold’s dwindling necklace.

Amazingly, this blast does not take his opponent out-- so Kü chugs a health potion as his vision suddenly goes green. He smells smoke and hears Mother in his head, asking to take a turn. He can do nothing but stare at Dickius as the shadows leave Kü to snake around the goliath and squeeze. Though deeply in pain, Dickius breaks free and heaves one last attack at Kü-- rendering him unconscious and sending Nice Ghost back into oblivion. With that, Kess rushes in to heal her friend, momentarily pissed at Pearce for losing all her money. Back on his feet, Kü shakily requests to be taken to bed, and the gunslinger scoops him up like a child and carries him; only to be repaid with a flow of vomit down his back as the kobold recovers slowly from his trauma. Still, Pearce keeps his composure and reassures Kü that he fought well, but begs him to try to sleep.

The Scream Heard ‘Round the Mansion

The group groggily returns to the family home and branches off to their respective rooms. Pearce gently lays Kü down and tucks him into bed before searching for a piece of paper and a writing utensil to pen a short note. He slips 200 gold into it and scrawls ‘I’m sorry’ onto the page. He slips out of the guest room to try and find Kess’ door-- and the one he picks, unbeknownst to him, is her parents’. However, our boy tried his best, so he returns to Kü; watching him as he sleeps. This dad-like worry Pearce has got going on makes me SOFT, y’all. I need MORE.

Kess, however, forgoes sleep for a time and instead grabs a bottle of wine from the kitchen. She takes it to the greenhouse and attempts to grow her second flower of the day-- which she has never done before. It takes a little more effort, but it does sprout, and she pleadingly asks to speak with the friend she grows them for. She waits, but no answer comes. Kess finishes the wine and stumbles up to her room, leaving the window open for good measure. She and Kü are sleeping soundly while Pearce fitfully wakes up from his perch on the sleeper sofa every so often to watch Kü’s chest rise and fall (PASS ME THE TISSUES). During one of his half-awake moments, Pearce watches the candle in the room extinguish and simultaneously hears a scream coming from downstairs.

Leaving the passed out kobold, Pearce takes off, only to be intercepted by Kess, who we all know has the passive perception of a dog waiting for you to drop that pepperoni on your pizza, Karen. She pulls him into the stairwell and they end up at the opening of Xarus’ chambers-- Sienna standing speechless in the doorway. When she ends up being less than helpful, the duo slip into the room, immediately laying eyes on the lifeless body of Kess’ failed groom. I wish I could say I was at all upset about this revelation, but I would be lying to you, dear readers. However, we now have a murder mystery on our hands! WHODUNNIT?!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

TL;DR

Our heroes attended a dinner party more uncomfortable than all of my family reunions put together. Talk about second-hand anxiety!

Kü is the Underfrost Fighting Pit Champion in my heart and I hope he gets a rematch against… *checks notes* the Goliath’s dick.

RIP, Xarus— ex-fiancé and stick in the mud. See you in hell.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kess’ed Be and catch the next session over at twitch.tv/lochness on July 21st at 7:30CST/8:30EST! AND if you’d like to watch THIS episode, you can find it at the link below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyi5JkW-SNY

[reddie-fangirl24]

Eddie, The Patient Chapter 5     (A Reddie Fanfiction)

NOTE: Here is the final chapter to Eddie, The Patient. I have enjoyed every moment of writing this story. Thank you so much for the kind feedback. I hope you all enjoyed this story. It is sad to end it, but I know there will be more stories in the future. I may write little in-between moments. If you have any suggestions, let me know. Enjoy the final chapter!

This was one of the worst nights Eddie, or even Richie could ever endure. It was after two in the morning when Eddie awoke, screaming from a nightmare followed by running into the bathroom, vomiting and painfully crying. Please, let this be the last time, Richie prayed to anyone who could hear him.

Practically carrying his husband back to bed, Richie wiped a cold washcloth over Eddie’s head. Eddie’s fever was climbing like an elevator. It was sad to see the normally energetic chatterbox be taken down by the flu. 

“You’re going to feel better in the morning, Eddie,” Richie whispered to him. The instant Richie pulled up the covers, Eddie’s eyes closed and he was sound asleep. It was much relief to Richie fearing that he was going to have to call an ambulance if Eddie didn’t stop throwing up. It was almost nonstop all day.

Richie sat in a chair close to the bed watching his husband sleep. He held his limp, damp hand, holding it gently so as not to wake him. So fragile. So pale. His patient.

His heart broke at the awful memory when Eddie’s symptoms came out from the other end earlier that day. That was when Eddie choked, unable to cough up what he needed to get out. Ashamed and embarrassed as Richie cleaned him up, Eddie cried thinking he had done something so awful. If Richie hadn’t been there, would Eddie have choked to death? 

As Richie watched Eddie sleep, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of courage fill his insides. Sure, he had taken care of Eddie plenty of times, but prior to having to go back to Derry, Richie never took care of anybody, except himself. And he accomplished just that. That made him feel... good.

And now, Richie never realized how torturing it was when a loved one was sick. About a year ago, Richie had a terrible cold that lasted a week. Eddie was still studying in school, but there were days when he’d take off to take care of Richie. And that wasn’t even when they were married yet. Given how much of an anxious germophobic worry-wort Eddie was, it pained him to see his husband sick.

“Guess this is what happens when you love someone so damn much, eh, Eds?” he whispered, his voice breaking.

Watching Eddie snooze a little longer, Richie crawled under the blankets, spooning Eddie close to him as he went to sleep.

--

The sun hit Eddie’s eyes. Eddie groaned. At least he had an easier time waking up than yesterday morning -- though his mouth was as dry as a desert and his body ached all over, especially his back. His eyes ventured the room spying the bright sun rays coming through the window. He felt warm, not hot or any of those annoying chills shivering up his spine. 

To Eddie’s side, on the nightstand, was a bowl of water, a damp rag, a cup of ginger ale, a bottle of Tylenol, and also a glass of water. The rag obscured half the clock. Something -25. 

Water. Eddie smacked his dry lips together. That fermenting taste was still present.

Pushing himself up was too much of an effort and he fell back into the pillows. His arm was still trying to reach for the glass like a little child trying to reach for the cookie jar on a kitchen counter. 

Just then, Richie walked into the room. Aside from the dark circles surrounding his eyes, Richie had this look of pure excitement overtake his whole face. “Well, there he is! Look who’s awake! I was beginning to think that you were going to sleep the whole day, sleeping beauty!”

“R-Richie...” Eddie’s voice croaked. His hand pointed towards the glass as he struggled to lift himself off his side. 

Helping him sit up, and putting an extra pillow behind his back, Richie handed him the glass of water, helping him hold it. “Small sips, now,” he instructed. 

Eddie more so guzzled down the needed liquid. The water was pure bliss against his haggard throat. It immediately made his insides feel cool. He also noticed how empty it was.

“What time is it?” Eddie asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes as he relaxed back into the pillows.

“Almost 11:30!” Richie answered going to grab the damp rag on the nightstand.

Immediate panic set into Eddie who leaped from the pillows. “11:30?! Fuck, I never sleep in that late! Did my boss call a substitute? I’m late for work! My students are probably acting like a pack of monkeys! I need to take a shower, brush my teeth, find my shoes-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa! Easy there, Mr. Flash!” Richie placed a hand against Eddie’s racing heart and making him sit back into the pillows. For a moment they went through the calming process making Eddie calm down and breathe normally. Slowly, his heart rate went back to normal.

“Thank God you’re back to you!” Richie exclaimed with this gigantic smile, still pressing a hand against Eddie’s heart. Eddie knew that grin. It was the same overjoyed face Richie made when Eddie showed up at his stage door, announcing that he divorced Myra and wanted to be with him. “I already called your school to tell them you’re bedridden today!”

Eddie blinked, somewhat disappointed, but then more relieved feeling the aching pain in his lower back. “Thanks, Richie. That was nice of you.”

Richie washed Eddie’s body with a sponge. “You sweat like a dog yesterday. Your pits even smell like one!” he teased as he helped slide Eddie’s nightshirt over his head. For a moment, Richie frowned, staring at the scar. To relieve the tension, Eddie stuck his tongue out at Richie. It was just like when they were kids. Richie rubbed the soft sponge all around his stomach and chest, and even his armpits. Richie was right. He did smell like a dog! He put on a fresh shirt. 

“How does your stomach feel?” Richie asked, giving his stomach a light pat. 

“Fine. Much better. Just achy.” Wondering if he should have mentioned that last part, Eddie masked a smile. Remembering yesterday’s events at school only made him feel worse. Why couldn’t that have been a blur like most of everything else? 

Turning to Richie who was lounging by his side on the bed, scrolling through the channels, Eddie asked, “Did you have any scheduled rehearsals or shows today?” He still didn’t have the energy to speak.

“No. Well, I was supposed to record the rest of that interview but I told Steve to reschedule it.”

Eddie touched Richie’s hand, getting his attention. “No, Rich, I don’t want to hold you up. Go tape the rest of that interview. It’s-it’s okay.”

Richie scoffed and wrapped an arm around Eddie’s shoulder. “No way, man, you’re way more important! ‘Sides when’s the last time we spent some hubby time together?” He teased poking Eddie in the nose.

Eddie wanted to argue but felt too weak to do so. Richie made him some toast and they sat in bed watching TV, laughing at episodes and making jokes. When was the last time he and Richie spent time together? Leaning against his husband’s shoulder as he was finally able to smell scents without gagging, Eddie basked in Richie’s cologne. He loved that smell. It was his husband’s scent. His husband. His best friend who would do anything for him.

His eyes grew heavy and Eddie fell asleep again for a short time. 

The phone ringing woke him up.

“Hello?” Richie answered. “Oh, hi, Mrs. Alliston. Ruth, sure... yeah, I got the secretary when I called this morning, but I don’t think Eddie will be in until Monday, he is definitely sick as a dog! ... Talk with him? No, he’s pretty tired, like a hibernating bear...”

Oh no... oh no... he knew it, he was going to get fired! Eddie’s heart broke, feeling tears in his eyes. He didn’t want to get fired! This was the first job that he ever loved! Now, what was he going to do? Probably no other school would hire him all because he threw up in front of students. How would this look for Richie? He was going to be disappointed in him. As Eddie hugged his pillow, rolling to the opposite side of the bed so Richie wouldn’t see him, a quiet sob escaped Eddie’s throat.

Right when Richie was nearing the bedroom, his cell phone rang. Slightly groaning when he saw that it was Steve, Richie reluctantly pressed the ‘talk’ button. “Hey, Steve, what’s up?”

“Rich, I got your voicemail this morning. Is it that serious?” Steve asked him, sounding a little stressed. Richie couldn’t blame him after all. Scheduling not just him, but a couple of other clients was not easy. 

“Well, yeah, Eddie was throwing up for most of the day and night. And he had a terrible fever, chills, and he was in pain. Could have filled a bucket with everything that came out!” Richie tried to joke. Ironically, Steve wasn’t so easy to joke around with when it came to situations like this. 

“Just give it to me straight, Rich, will you be able to come in at this weekend?” Steve asked. From the sound of it, he was trying not to sound disappointed. 

Eddie heard Richie sigh. He could just feel the stress and weight on his shoulders. Was he being sick stressing Richie out this much? Oh, he didn’t want to do that. He already put enough over Richie’s shoulders. 

“Look, Steve, I need to take care of everything here. I haven’t been able to spend time with him and I need that. If we could postpone the rest of the taping for the interview next week that would be great. And that show we were thinking about doing on Saturday, that can be postponed, right?”

There was a long pause. Not a good sign. Richie was anxiously digging into his hair waiting for him to say something. Anything. “Yes, Rich, it can,” he finally said.

That was a relief. “Oh, thanks! Listen, I owe it to you, Steve!” Richie said thankfully.

“I know, Richie. But, I just want to bring this up again, I have said it a lot, but you have canceled a number of your own performances in the last five years. I don’t want people to think that you don’t care about your work and that you don’t do it for the fans.”

“What?” Richie exclaimed. “That is so fucking stupid, Steve!” Richie’s loud tone startled Eddie who was beside himself with guilt, burying his face into the pillows.

“You know I am just thinking about probabilities,” Steve said to him apologetically. 

“Well, here’s the truth, you need to consider me! Look, I am going to talk to you later. Just get all the re-scheduling shit together!” With that Richie hung up and slammed his phone on a nearby table, fuming to himself. 

Eddie let out a sob, clutching his pillow. Oh, this was awful! First, he went to school sick, he was getting fired, and now he was keeping Richie from doing any of his shows!

“Eddie?” Richie worriedly asked when he stepped into the room. Guilt swarmed his mind. He was so mad that he forgot about Eddie who was trying to sleep. 

Climbing into the bed, Richie pulled Eddie’s shaking back to his stomach, hugging him close, and kissing his neck. “Shh, it’s okay. I wasn’t yelling at you. None of this is your fault,” Richie soothed. 

“They’re going to fire me!” Eddie cried, clinging to Richie’s arms.

“Fire you? Who, your school?” Richie asked, nuzzling against Eddie.

“Oh, Rich, I did the worst thing yesterday!” Eddie hiccuped.

“What happened?” Richie asked, growing alarmed. 

“I fuckin’ threw up in front of my students! They were so disgusted! Teachers never get sick! They never come to school, that’s why? Now the students told their parents who want me gone! I feel so stupid! Now, Mrs. Alliston is going to fire me and what am I going to do now?”

Eddie sobbed into the pillow, his entire body shaking. Richie held him tightly, tearing up himself. 

“Your boss wasn’t calling to fire you,” Richie whispered into Eddie’s ear.

Relief ran through Eddie’s body. “What? S-She’s not firing me?”

“No, she was just calling to see how you were and wanted to tell you that your first-period class made you a get well card!” Richie explained to him.

Eddie turned around, finally facing Richie. “Really? She’s not firing me?” 

“No! You really think you could get fired for puking in class?” Richie asked not sure whether to laugh or be more concerned. 

“Well, I’m a first-year teacher and...”

Now Richie laughed. “What does that have to do with anything?” 

“I don’t know,” Eddie shook his head, downcast. He sat up on the bed, grimacing slightly. “It was so embarrassing, Richie. I-I don’t think I can ever show my face there again.”

Richie groaned rolling his eyes. “Don’t you think you’re being too dramatic on this, man? You’re not the only first-year teacher to get sick. It happens to everyone. Remember that one teacher who was out once every week because she hated her job? She was sick that one time. It’s normal. And look at me. I barfed in front of the class when I gave that report, remember?”

Eddie sighed, his emotions weighing him down. Richie did make a fair point. All teachers got sick. It was good that his class didn’t resent him for the scene that he caused. Still, that didn’t mean everyone would forget about it though.

Richie got his attention, putting his hand on his face and wiping away stray tears. “Still, you should have gotten my attention yesterday morning. I know I was busy, too, but you should have said something.”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

Richie looked into his eyes again. His love’s energetic enthusiasm still wasn’t there. Just a sad, forlorn expression. “Is there something else that’s bothering you?” Richie asked him. “How is your job going? Do you like it?”

And just like that, Eddie’s eyes beamed. “Oh, Rich, I love being a teacher! The kids, my boss, assignments, everything is great about it.”

Richie smiled. “That’s great. I’m happy.”

“I just wish you were here more so I could tell you,” Eddie told him, frowning.

His face falling, Richie touched Eddie’s hand. “I know. It’s tough trying to juggle our schedules together,” his lip quivered, but he held it together, holding everything inside. Richie was not one to show his emotions. That was tough for him. “I feel like a failed you yesterday.”

Eddie’s heart cracked, squeezing Richie’s hand tighter. “What? No way, Rich! You were busy! It’s my fault.”

“No, it’s mine!”

“I take more fault!”

“Yeah, well I take fault for not paying attention to you!” Richie yelled, his voice breaking. Eddie could just feel Richie shaking underneath his touch. It was heartbreaking to see him this way. “Eddie, you’re my husband. I-I’ve never been in an awesome position like that! I don’t want... to let you down.”

Fresh tears fell from Eddie’s eyes. “Oh Rich, I just don’t want to get in the way of everything.”

“Are you fuckin’ crazy? No way! Don’t you ever think that! You could never get in the way of anything!”

Cuddling together, the couple stayed in their warm embrace for the longest time, taking in one another’s scent. Eddie felt his nerves calm, all the aches and pains disappearing. This was the medicine that he needed. This. He never felt happier. A bliss. That overwhelming feeling he craved. 

Parting, Eddie noticed Richie staring at him. Not in his eyes. He was looking at the spot where he had been impaled. The scar. Doctors were surprised to see him wake up and recover. They were right in the prognosis that Eddie would be affected for the rest of his life. And for Richie, that didn’t make it easier for him.

“Rich, are you okay?” Eddie asked touching his love’s face.

In seconds, the tears and agony came spilling out. “You looked dead every time I looked at you! And-and when you were choking I thought I was going to lose you! I can’t get that fucking image of you bleeding out right in front of me out of my head! I-I thought...” Richie grasped Eddie’s hands, staring into his eyes. “I can’t lose you, Eddie! So many times I felt like I wasn’t doing anything to help you! I would never have let you go to school if I was paying attention. God, I’m sorry!”

Eddie gathered his husband in his arms, patting his withered hair. He let him cry. “Richie, s’okay, I’m right here. I’m getting better, all because of you.”

“I felt so scared,” Richie leaned into his shoulder.

Eddie smiled. “I felt safe when I was with you.”

Parting, they looked into one another’s eyes, touching their foreheads together. “I can’t lose you.”

“And I... can’t lose you,” Eddie admitted. “I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t get me out of that lair, right? Richie, I love you, man!”

A big smile appeared on Richie’s face as the tears fell. “I love you, Eddie,” he held him tightly. “Hey, you want to know something?”

“What?”

“July marks our one-year anniversary. Can you believe it?”

Eddie grunted, amused. “Feels like we’ve been married our whole lives. You annoy me!”

“Hey, don’t get personal or I won’t tell you the good news!” Richie giggled. 

“Okay, just tell me already!” 

“So, you’re finally out for the summer and you will be off for three months, right?” Richie giddily asked him.

“Yeah.”

“I have an offer to make you. I’m touring Nevada for a week at the end of June. And then, get this, I have two weeks off! Let’s go away for our anniversary. Hawaii, Ireland, or learn how to french kiss in Paris!”

“Oh, Richie!” And Eddie kissed Richie on the lips, a long, deep kiss. “That sounds great! Wait, how long have you been planning on this? You know we have to make bookings ahead of time, right? Because we can’t just go someplace without a reservation at a hotel. And we need to plan this together.”

Richie wrapped his arms around his love, smiling endearingly. “It’s great to have you back, Eds. Except you should really brush your teeth!” he grimaced but smiled.

Eddie slugged his husband in his arm. Staring into each other’s eyes, a magnetic force pulled them towards one another. That didn’t stop the couple from fervently kissing, holding one another, moaning as they kissed.

“Wait, Rich!” Eddie reluctantly stopped. “You’re going to get sick.”

“Don’t care, so worth it!” Richie covered Eddie’s chin with kisses. Oh, how they missed this. Eddie’s hands traveled down Richie’s chest until Richie could feel them at his stomach until prodding at his belt.

“Hey, hey!” Richie held Eddie’s hands in his, staring into the man’s wanting eyes. At least he recognized him. “When you’re better.”

Eddie pouted. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too, man, but hey, I got the entire weekend free.”

“I love you, trashmouth.”

“I love you, asshole.”

The couple cuddled together and sat back into the pillows feeling relief and absolute bliss.

[blissfullylostinarabbithole]

Outsider Pt. 16

Pairing: Step Dad!Tony Stark x Teen!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Summary: Reader learns a bit about the man holding her captive.

Warnings: Force feeding, mentions of vom, unwanted advances, general creepiness. S1 spoiler for GoT.

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When you woke, your head felt foggy and your eyelids heavy. When you finally opened them, you saw a man sleeping beside you, and you began to remember what had happened the last time you woke.

You tried to sit up slowly hoping the creaking bed frame wouldn’t wake him, and had to bite down on your fist to keep from crying out at the blinding pain on your side. Making sure he was still asleep, you lifted your shirt and bandage and found the stitches had been redone. Though it was no longer bleeding, the spot was red and swollen, and it was starting to give off an unpleasant odor.

Looking around the large room again, you could feel the walls closing in on you. You couldn’t tell if it was day or night, nor had any idea how long you’ve been there. Eyeing the door, you weighed your chances of getting off the bed and making a run for it before he woke, but the bed was loud and you weren’t even sure you could run. Plus, you couldn’t take the chance only to find the door might be locked. You turned back to the sleeping man, hoping you could try to find the key and slip it from him, but found him wide awake and staring.

“Hi,” you gasped.

“Hello.” A smile began to creep on his face. “How do you feel?”

Your hand fell from its place on your side. “I need a doctor. I think I’m getting an infection.”

He rolled his eyes and propped himself on an elbow. “You’re just not giving it time to heal. Do you remember yet?”

His annoyance at your insistence for medical attention only confused you as to why he took care to stitch you up in the first place. Still, you had to try to find out whatever you could; stall until you could either get away or be found.

He frowned as you shook your head. “What happened to m-,” you stopped yourself, noting his own bruises, “us? Why are we hurt?”

He sat up, scooting closer to you. If he felt you stiffen when he buried his face into your hair, he didn’t comment. “You didn’t come to me,” he breathed in your ear. “Your daddy tried to tear us apart. I showed him.”

He began to laugh as your blood ran cold. What had he done to Tony? What had he to the others, to-

“Sam,” you whispered. The man gripped your arm hard, turning you roughly to face him. You grimaced at the pain, but kept from screaming.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing,” you rushed as his face contorted with anger. You watched it turn into rage as you studied his familiar features. Nat’s mocking laughter flashed through your mind, and it clicked into place. “Cletus?”

Like the flip of a light switch, his scowl became a beaming grin. “You remember.”

“It’s coming back to me,” you lied, relieved you were on the right track. “It’s slow going, though.” His eyes trailed down to your lips, and you had to swallow the vomit that raced up your throat. “Bathroom,” you blurted just as he was leaning in. “I need a bathroom.”

He threw himself on his back, laughing away the tension. “You’re shy,” he teased. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

It’s nothing you haven’t heard before, but usually a threatening undertone was nonexistent.

He nodded toward the corner where the bucket was, and you couldn’t help scrunching your nose in disgust. “I need to wash. At least I need to try to clean my cuts so they don’t get worse.”

To your horror, he got up to leave. He didn’t ask you to follow, or say a word about an available restroom. He walked out, and you heard him lock the door behind him.

A sob escaped you once you were confident he wouldn’t hear it. You tried to hold your tears back, but it was impossible. Deciding to take advantage of his absence, you climbed off the bed to test your strength. The walk to the bucket was slow, but you were able to stay on your feet until you were halfway back to the bed.

When you heard the door unlock, you wiped at your eyes and tried to free your face of any expression. He entered holding a pack of baby wipes, but your gaze followed the key in his hand as he slipped it into his pocket.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tony stared at the ground, his cheek stinging from the slap your mother landed as soon as she stepped off the plane.

She'd said nothing when he told her what had happened over the phone, and even now she seemed at a loss for words. The ride back to the tower was tense, neither Happy nor Tony dared to even breathe louder than necessary.

At the tower, he led her to the conference room where all your gifts were laid out on the table.

“Where’s Barnes,” she asked, coldness in her voice.

“Honey…”

“All this evidence and he never said a word. To anyone.”

“It’s not his fault.” He chuckled humorlessly at the incredulous look she shot him. “I know I’m not his number one fan, but I looked through all this, we all did, multiple times. Aside from the book, there’s nothing here that points to anything of significance.”

“He still should’ve said something. He felt something was off, and he thought keeping it to himself was the right choice.”

“You’ll have to wait if you want to talk to him. He’s only been back once since she’s been gone, and that’s because Cap dragged him in for a shower and some shut eye.”

“Fine,” she huffed, dropping her things into an empty chair. “Where do we search next?”

“I’m sorry, what?” He saw the determination in her eyes, and knew he had to talk her down. “It’s dangerous, you can’t-”

“Anthony, if you’re about to tell me to stay here and just wait for you, the man who lost MY daughter, to find her, then I will grab her and take her home and have this marriage annulled before the police are even finished writing the reports!”

“I tried to protect her!”

“If you’d have been honest with her she might still be here!”

“I know,” he collapsed into the nearest chair, suddenly unable to look his wife in the eye. “I know I messed up. I keep messing everything up.”

“So make it up to me. Make it up to her. Find. Her.” She stormed out of the room, leaving Tony to gather himself while she prepared to take to the streets herself.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

You pushed the slop around the paper bowl, hoping he wouldn’t notice you weren’t eating it. It was disgusting, but it was also getting harder to refuse food and water. Though you were dehydrated, you were afraid it was laced with something to knock you out or worse. Sometimes he would leave you for a moment and you’d be able to dump what he’d given you in the bucket, and sometimes you’d even been able to get him to share his own once you’ve seen him consume some of it. This time, however, you were hoping to switch your bowl with his, and prayed that it would do something, anything, to disorient him enough for you to get the key and leave.

“Tell me how we met.” He stopped mid bite and glanced at you curiously. “I mean, maybe it’ll help me remember faster.”

He set his bowl down, and you took care to set yours right beside it.

“You were out with your mom, so so annoyed with mommy,” his eyes glazed over as he giggled at the memory, and you took the chance to grab his bowl. “You turned back and smiled at me, and when our eyes connected, our souls connected.” He picked your bowl up, and you smiled as he shoveled a spoonful into his mouth. “We knew from just that one look we were meant to be.”

“That’s,” horseshit, “wonderful.” You ate from the bowl, making his smile grow wider.

“You couldn’t keep away. When I got up, you followed and pretended to bump into me. You couldn’t wait to feeeeeel meeee,” he sang.

You began coughing, choking on the nasty sludge he insisted was food. This was him? The random guy you bumped into on your first few days in the city, the one who you thought looked familiar in the news article about the robbery? And he thought you made heart eyes at him or something?

He shoved your cup of water into your hands, but you tried to refuse it, much to his annoyance. He grabbed your chin and brought the cup to your lips, ordering you to drink. Thankfully, you ended up spilling most of it, and he reached for his own to also force into you. You drank it, and your coughing mostly stopped.

“There,” he smiled. “Feel better?”

You nodded. “Thank you.”

“Can’t have you dying on me now can I? Not when it’s not on my terms.” He began to laugh like he’d just told the funniest joke, oblivious to look of horror on your face.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Peter hadn't been able to sleep, and it was starting to show. Ned was exhausted, too, but never complained. They'd put up missing person posters on every shop window they came across before Tony had tasked the job to Happy and told the boys to return to school.

They stood at the entrance, trying to give a flyer to every student who passed. Some ignored them, only pushing past to get to class. Most those who took one, promptly dropped it in the trash without so much as a glance.

Peter was getting angry, his eyes beginning to water in frustration. He noticed Michelle approach, and dried his eyes before offering her one.

She took it, recognizing you immediately. Her body gave an involuntary shiver when she glossed over the suspect's info.

“Who's Cletus Kasady?” she asked, getting both boys’ attention.

“He's that psycho killer who murdered all those people last week.”

Her brow furrowed, and she turned back toward Peter. “He's the one who took her?”

“Yeah,” Peter nodded, drying his eyes again.

Behind him, she could see the garbage can filled with flyers and sighed. “Gimme some.” She grabbed half of Peter's stack and turned toward the approaching students.

One girl scoffed and tried to side step her, but she blocked her path and practically shoved the paper in her face.

“Have you seen either of these people?” she demanded. The girl was taken aback, but took it and scanned it before shaking her head. “If you do see them, or even think you see them, call the number at the bottom. It's important.”

Peter and Ned watched the girl walk away, her eyes still on the flyer as Michelle forced another one into the face of another student.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

You’d pulled the old switcheroo a few times now, and nothing ever happened. You’d watch with bated breath as he ate what was meant for you, but grew discouraged when every minute passed as he kept talking about himself.

The more he told you, the more desperate you became of getting away from him. He’d often lose his train of thought, or expected you to make connections between things that made no sense. When he told you he was the one who had murdered the Carrs, and everyone who was in their establishment, you broke down. He tried to comfort you, and you fought the urge to shove him away, even when he whispered in your ear that it was your fault for not doing as he’d instructed. You didn’t know what he’d meant by that, but it seemed the wrong time to ask since he’d been losing patience with your ‘amnesia’.

When your cries were reduced to sniffles, he tilted your chin towards him and began to lean in. He’d caught you off guard, and you turned away from him before realizing it’d been safer to let him, just for a moment.

He growled and grabbed your throat, pulling you toward him.

“I’m growing tired of this little game of yours,” he hissed in your ear as you clawed at his hands, struggling for air. “There was another before you, you know? She refused me, too. Do you know what happened? I pushed her away from me, and in front of an oncoming bus.” He shoved you away, watching you try to regain your composure. He shoved your takeout box back into your hands, and ordered you to eat.

You took it with shaky hands, digging up a fry from the bottom of the stack and nibbling on it. “It’s good,” you offered gratefully, trying to calm him.

“It’d better be. I risked going to that stupid diner in Brooklyn to get it.”

You paused, still only halfway done with that first fry. He’d avoided telling you anything about where you were, and now he’d just let it slip that you were still in New York. You tried to feel hopeful that you’d be found, though it only made it seem worse that he’d made it clear he had no qualms about killing you if he had to. The thought that you could die so close to freedom was enough to make you despair.

The box was snatched from your hands, and a handful of fries were being rammed onto your lips.

“Eat!” he snarled, using one hand to pry your mouth open.

The harder you fought, the more forceful he became, and he didn’t stop until you’d eaten every last crumb.

You cried yourself to sleep that ‘night’, and not able to take the sound of your weeping, he’d left you alone. It would’ve been a nice reprieve had it not been for your inability to keep much of anything down when you were stressed, making you spend half the night on the floor next to the bucket.

When you awoke, you were back on the bed, though he was nowhere to be found. There was a small table beside the bed now, and on it was a vase with a bouquet of flowers that looked all too familiar. On his side of the bed, there was the usual bowl of goo along with a note.

I forgive you

It was signed with a ‘CK’ and a heart.

You grabbed the bowl and dumped its contents into the bucket. You began to ‘wash’, using the used wipes to cover the food. You checked your bandage, and cringed at how nasty it was turning.

“Fuck,” you sighed. “I’m gonna go out like Drogo if I don’t get out of here.”

But you had no idea how. He wasn’t a deep enough sleeper for you to try to sneak out, and giving him what you thought might be drugged food and drink wasn’t working. You weren’t strong enough to remove the mattress from the frame, let alone one of the metal bars, and nothing in the room seemed to be loose enough for you to yank to use as a weapon.

Unused to having the table there, you bumped into it and luckily caught the vase before it fell. As you lifted it back onto the table, you noticed its weight. The ceramic wasn’t very thick, but it was quite heavy. Heavy enough, you hoped, to give you enough time to get the key and out the door.

Permanent -  @melconnor2007 @ria132love @psychicwitchphilosopher @sireennotsiren @silence--in--the--library @thefridgeismybestie@hymnofthevalkyrie@abbybills22@mvasquez492@ek823@nicky10876@sophiealiice @madeof-ink@dugan365 @magnitude101999 @way-ward-whale @i-am-the-fandom-warrior @seabasstiantrash

Marvel/Avengers -@majd943@coolblueintrovert@danijimenezv@prancingdestiel@galacticalstarcat@beautifulbows924@lionheo04@dyanlzbb@pennywisethedancingclown13  @ludwigvonbaethoven @alilianamendez@cravingmustard

Outsider -  @whovianayesha @alicethecactus @writings-of-a-girl @problematicpastry @tienna-laufeyson16@sexysamsungl @purplekitten30 @xotaku-baekx @lexie-mo @buckybear97 @cookies186 @let-me-try-mom @captainmoon46 @snapdragonqueen @mjlo0305 @thatcrazybookwormgeek @nerdy-sherlock-fan-191 @stubbornwhale @hellomydearfriends @rainbow-anon @look-to-the-stars-and-wish @amnahs9695

If I missed you in the tags, let me know!

A/N: So, a fair few of you figured out it was Kasady :D I know erotomania isn’t his type of psychosis, but hey, it’s fanfic!

[alltheloveinthegalaxy]

Beast of Burden Chapter 3

Ch. 3 Momentary Peace

Hey y’all. We out here. This one is explicit, so younglings, be warned...er go away. Hope ya enjoy! Please leave a comment if you have any suggestions or requests for the story even. I love feedback :) 

Rey breathed Ben’s air as she rocked against him, controlling the rhythm of his hips with hers as she moved on top of him. Guiding her hips with his large hands, he gazed up at her. 

His breath was ragged as he sputtered grunts of effort for her. He reached up to take her enticingly enlarged breasts in his hands, her nipples swollen and pink. 

“Ah!” She winced. 

“Sorry!” He was horrified, releasing her. 

“No, no, it’s okay,” she whispered, lowering herself to his face to brush her lips against his.

“I keep hurting you,” he murmured against her lips as they maintained a steady rhythm. Sweating and merging together. Rey’s belly was now an obvious spectacle without her cloak and tunic on to hide it and even that barely did the job. 

“No, it feels so good Ben, please don’t stop,” she whisper-moaned into his ear. He marveled at her, admiring each and every new change in her body. He loved the sight of her slightly protruding belly rubbing against him as she received him.

“Oh Ben, yes!” Rey screeched. “Oh stars Ben, right there!” 

She rolled onto her back after they shared an orgasm that shook them both to the core as they prayed with the Force to never end. 

Her head spinning, she basked in the feeling. Ben rolled over and kissed her stomach. 

Rey and Ben had not seen each other for over a month as both of them had to return to the opposite sides of the war to act as if nothing was going on — as if Rey wasn’t carrying Ben Solo’s child. 

But here they lay, in their secret hiding flat on Takodana — a secluded structure in the woods where Maz had promised their privacy and safety. Beams of sunlight streaked their bed. It was 3 in the afternoon and they had been at it since, well, probably around 7 am. 

Rey’s libito had transformed into a beast of its own — but Ben didn’t seem to mind. Although he was starting to grow tired. His eyelids began to flutter open and closed as he drifted off in exhaustion. 

“You can’t go to sleep!” Rey said, playfully hitting him with her pillow.

“Ugh,” Ben sighed, turning away from her on his side. “You’ve worn me out. I can’t anymore today....And are you sure all of this activity is good for the- the-”

“Baby?”

“...Yeah.”

“Ben you’ve got to learn how to say that word. You’re going to be holding one in 5 months,” she chuckled. “Holding our baby.” 

“Okay, well whatever, you didn’t answer my question.”

“Maz said it’s perfectly fine,” Rey grinned, proudly. 

Ben covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. 

“You asked Maz?” He groaned. 

“Of course! Who else was I supposed to ask? Your mother?” She teased.

Ben rolled over onto his stomach and pulled the pillow over his head. Now she’d done it. 

“She took the news well...” Rey said softly, standing up to pull her robe over her shoulders. 

“What?” Ben pulled the pillow down slowly, to reveal his eyes. “What the kriff do you mean?” 

“Don’t swear at me Solo,” Rey mused, tying the robe closed and walking out of the room. 

Ben tossed the bedding aside and stood to follow her, still completely naked. 

Rey strode into the kitchen to boil water as Ben trailed after her. 

“Rey, what did you do?” Ben said, leaning against the cooler, towering over her and blocking her from opening it.

“Move please, I’m going to fix breakfast.” She smiled.  

“You don’t know how to cook and besides it’s 3 o’clock in the afternoon,” He pointed to a ticking wall clock. 

Rey folded her arms. 

“Okay, I told your mother that I’m pregnant.” 

Ben’s jaw dropped as he raised his hands up to gesture a “what the kriff” at her, although the words never left his lips. 

“She knows it’s yours, I told her everything.”

“Everything?” 

“Everything.” 

Ben swallowed and moved out of the way of the cooler, raising his arms in the air in surrender. 

“Don’t worry Ben, everything will be kept secret, for now. It’s going to be fine. We’ll sort out the details later.”  

He stormed out of the kitchen, trying to contain his anger and shock. He needed a moment to process this — or forget about it if that was possible. 

She chuckled, watching his naked backside stride out of the room, clenching his fists as he left.

When he reemerged 30 minutes later he wasn’t dressed his typical astringent First Order attire. Although his new garb wasn’t far off. He wore a jet black jedi - resembling tunic. Loosely fitted with long sleeves, the robe reaching his mid thigh was cinched with a tight thick belt at the waist. 

Rey’s eyes were on him, he had her attention. 

He wore his usual tall, tight fitting black boots with black loser fitting pants. Her lightsaber dangled from his belt as he walked passed her to pour himself a cup of caf from the pot she’d just made. His hair was still slightly wet from the fresher and his skin smelt of minty soap.

As she followed him with her eyes, Rey dropped the ceramic bowl of food she was attempting to prepare. It shattered on the tile floor, splattering a mismatched concoction of ingredients all over the ground. 

“Rey!” Ben reacted, spitting hot coffee back into his mug. 

“I’m sorry, you startled me,” she reasoned, kneeling down to clean up the mess. 

“How so? By the way this coffee is very burnt. Don’t worry about this, I’ll clean it up, go sit down.” He shooed her away with a flick of his wrist. 

“Where did you get those clothes?” Rey said, standing up with pieces of the broken bowl in her hands. Ben grabbed a broom to sweep up the food off the ground. 

“Maz left them here,” Ben said, unaffected. 

“They look like Jedi robes,” she pointed at him. “They’re nice...you look so...you look like a Skywalker...you look like a Solo.” 

He flushed with hues of red all over his face, neck and hands as he tried to ignore her. She walked away from him to place the broken pieces of the bowl in the garbage shoot. 

The open windows let the light of sunshine fill the tiny kitchen as the trees sang in the wind outside. Rey was happy to be back the midst of a lush forest — this time she wasn’t running away from Kylo Ren. She was defeating him, one day at a time, breaking down his walls to reveal a man who acted and looked more and more like Ben Solo with each passing day.

She sat down, gazing at him lovingly. 

“What are you doing with my lightsaber?” She asked.

“It’s technically mine.” He said, pouring her pot of caf down the sink and lighting the stove on to brew a new one. 

“It called to me,” she insisted. 

“I’m just borrowing it,” he said. “You can’t share?” 

Rey smiled sheepishly. 

“Are you going to make me breakfast?” She changed the subject, still admiring his new look. 

“Sure,” he said. “Whatever would you like, princess?” He asked sarcastically, still cleaning up debris from her spill. 

The word sort of slipped out of his mouth. It was something his father used to say to his mother when he was annoyed with her or teasing. 

Ben gritted his teeth, regretting his Freudian slip. Shit. What the kriff is happening to me? He winced, shaming himself and rolling his eyes as he turned his back to her to grab an arm full of vegetables out of the cooler.

Rey sort cocked an eyebrow at him, also taking note of the out of character remark.

“Princess?” Rey laughed. “Are you joking?”

“Yes,” Ben blushed. 

“Since Leia is technically a princess, would that make you a prince?” She blurted clumsily after skimming through his thoughts. She took a sip of caf. 

“No.” he shot. “Get out of my head.” 

“A prince,” she trailed off. “I never thought about that before...”

“Stop it.” 

“You started it.” 

“What do you want to eat, Rey?”

“I would like three eggs, rye toast, hashbrowns, pancakes from that Takodana mix, crispy potatoes and ooh there was some left over beef from last night’s stew and—”

“Yes, I got it, you’re hungry.” Ben almost argued with her, to insist that she eat something a little more nutritious but buttoned his lip as he remembered her her life as a starved scavenger. 

He’d make her whatever her heart desires. And he’d dressed in those ridiculous Jedi robes just to make her smile — and also because they were clean. 

Rey drew a luxurious breath, finally washing her partner’s sweat off of her under the warm pressure of the stone fresher. She could see Ben outside through a tiny window as she peeked at him on her tip-toes. 

He was aggressively slicing wood with the blue blade of her repaired saber for the old wood burning stove that would keep them warm tonight. Perhaps he was training simultaneously. 

She felt her stomach twist. Oh maker, not again. She hoped she wouldn’t vomit. As her pregnancy advanced, so did her nausea, which seemed to be getting worse by the day. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe deeply, as Maz had recommended.  

As she turned the shower off and reached for her towel to wrap around her, she felt the ground rumble beneath her feet. 

Woah...now I’m really going to be sick.

Ben’s senses kicked into high alert after a ripple in the ground knocked the pile of wood he was so carefully stacking, to the ground. 

That was no earthquake. That was a ship landing. 

The all too familiar sounds of TIE fighters zoomed above the trees. First, panic set in and then, an eery calm. 

They were here. The First Order. Whether or not they knew he was there was not apparent but he didn’t have time to sit around and wait for them to find him. 

Jumping over the pile of logs, he sprang toward the cabin, throwing the door open and hurrying to their sleeping quarter. 

“Ben, they’re here-” 

“I know!” Ben said. “Where are my clothes?” 

“They’re in that wash bucket over there, I figured they needed to be cleaned,” she said, biting her nails. 

“Kriff,” he muttered, digging his lightsaber out of a black box. 

“What are we going to do? Do you think they could find us out here?”

“Yes,” he said. “Get dressed now. Take this, you’ve got to get far away from here,” he said, handing her the lightsaber as he clipped his own to his belt. Rey tugged on her usual clothing as quickly as she could, her hair still wet.

“Do you think Hux suspects—” 

“I don’t know.” 

An explosion sounded outside, shaking the cabin and knocking Rey into him as as she tried to contain a scream.

“Rey,” he grabbed her hands, bringing them to his chest. “You’re going to have to run. On foot.” 

It wasn’t the prospect of running that scared her but the worry that the First Order may have figured their scheme out — that she might never see Ben again. 

“What about you?”

“it’s better if they don’t see us together,” he insisted. “You’re going to have to trust me.”

She swallowed hard, staring into his eyes. But her confidence in herself did not waiver. 

“Okay,” she said, determined. 

“I’ll come back for you, sweetheart,” he said, clipping her lightsaber to her belt for her and kissing her forehead. “I promise.” 

And with that, she ran out of the cabin and into the woods. She ran as far as her legs would take her through the Takodana forest. 

To be continued...

[toxickimi]

FO4 AU Ch 6 Until next time

The chefs and servants were rushing around in the castle preparing a feast for the visiting group. Kimikyo walked past the rushing staff as she made her way to the bath house. She dropped the clothes in a cleaning basket before putting on the tunic to cover her body. She climbed in the water, not noticing the Kigra and Piper were there. "You look blue..." Kimikyo looked over staring at Piper for a minute before jolting. "How-" "Best left unanswered. She's always like this. Guessing you didn't sleep little pest?" Kimikyo nodded before swimming around. "You smell like snake." Piper looked between the two princess before climbing out. "I think I'm done for the day. Your mother wanted to meet all of us today anyways." She smiled nervously before going to the girls changing room to notice Maxson's coat. She noticed the layer of slime like liquid before wiping it off on her towel. Kigra waited a moment before swimming over to Kimikyo. "Turn around..." Kimikyo turned her back to Kigra who began helping her clean her hair. "Honestly Kimikyo, you could have said you were going to the barn. Everyone was looking for you. Azumiral was panicking because you hadn't picked a fabric yet." Kimikyo remained silent as Kigra scolded her. "What? Iza took your tongue?" "Iza ate Elder Maxson and I couldn't save him." Kigra stopped for a moment before sighing. "Iza did not eat Maxson. I just saw him on the way to the bath house." "But Iza had his coat!" Kigra gently chopped at Kimikyo's head. "You idiot. Maxson probably left his coat on you at the barn and Iza was just being an ass taking it away from you. Is that why you smell like snake?" Kimikyo looked away, pushing her index fingers together. "I...I made Iza vomit in hopes to save him...b-but it's not like it was because I like that brute! It's because mama would have been angry that Iza ate him!" Kigra stared at her before taking a bucket to dump water on Kimikyo's head. "What ever you say. Anyways, I can assure you he's not dead."

Kimikyo and Kigra finished their bath before getting out. The maids had already gathered the clothing from the basket to clean, leaving fresh outfits for the two princesses. The two helped each get dressed before walking the castle. "Mother has asked me to oversee the preparations for the feast tonight. Would you like to join me?" "I should get back to my studies. Azumiral might loose her mind." "She can't loose what she's already lost. Come with me, let's spend time together again." Kigra offered her hand to Kimikyo who took it in hers without hesitation. The two went to the kitchen, sampling some of the foods then to the dining hall to see the decorations. "Why is mama doing this anyways?" Kigra hesitated before speaking. "Kimikyo...there is a chance they might not be able to come back. The mages noticed a rift in the portal. They believe it's why the time acts so differently between the two realms. Mother has made a peace treaty for them to sign in the event the portal remains open but they are able to leave tomorrow." Kimikyo remained silent as she nodded. The two finished their walk with Kimikyo returning to her room. Kimikyo went through the fabrics that were awaiting in her room. She finally decided on dark blues, blacks, and a shear fabric that looked as if it had stars on it. She then began reading more of the books that awaited her. A maid walked in returning the clothing that was left at the bath house. "Princess, there was this coat in there. Might you know who it belongs to?" Kimikyo looked up to see Maxson's coat. "Oh. That belongs to Elder Maxson. You may leave it here. I will return it to him later on." The maid bowed, leaving the coat on Kimikyo's bed. "Would you like me to bring anything?" Kimikyo stood, stretching her self. "No thank you but could you have someone check on Iza?" The maid nodded before leaving. Kimikyo paced her room, reading the books. There was a light knock on the door before Danse walked in. Kimikyo looked over at him before putting her book down. "Hello Danse, what brings you here?" "I just visited your mother. She

told us-" "That you might not come back." Kimikyo went silent before looking back at him. "Did you want to take the cub with you? I can give you a training book and animal medicines." Kimikyo walked over to a book shelf, looking through the books. "That won't be necessary. I wanted to ask if you'd take care of her. Elder Maxson won't allow the cub on the Prydwen." Kimikyo stopped searching before pulling out a book. "Then please...spend what time you may have left with your cub." She smiled over at him, shooing him away. Danse had left and soon she gathered Maxson's coat then left her room. She walked the halls until she ran into Maxson. "There you are." She looked up at him, handing his coat back. "Thank you for lending me your coat. I don't think I have ever seen you with it off since you arrived." She looked at him, actually looked at him for the first time before clearing her throat. "I-I...apologize for it's late return...Iza...Iza uhm...he puked on it but don't worry! It has been cleaned." Maxson looked at her before handing her sheets of paper. "Here. This is the training my soldiers go through. While I'm aware, try to keep up with it." Kimikyo looked at the packet he gave her. "You made it sound like you're going to be back." The two went silent before Maxson walked away. The night fell with the feast beginning. Kigra, Piper, Preston, and a few others were drinking and having a good old time, laughing and joking around. Kimikyo was sat in her spot, reading and going over key points that would happen during the ceremony. "Do you always have your nose in a book?" Kimikyo glanced up to see Piper, grinning. "No. Not always." Kigra pulled Piper away towards the bards that were playing music. "Kimikyo, really now you can put the books down and enjoy yourself." Aiko smiled at her. Kimikyo sighed as she put her book down. "Mama, the last time I enjoyed myself turned out to be the last time. Excuse me." Kimikyo stood from the table, gathering her books before leaving. Aiko pinched the bridge of her nose. Preston and Azumiral watched for a moment before Azumiral excused herself. "I will...go check on her." "I'll come too if that's alright?" Azumiral nodded to Preston as the two left to room. "Kimikyo. Please slow down." Azumiral hastily walked after Kimikyo who stopped and stood in place. "Kimikyo..."Azumiral reached for her sister who was shaking. Preston stood back as he watched Kimikyo drop her books and fall to her knees. She was hunched over, hugging herself as she silently sobbed. Azumiral wrapped her arms around her crying sister. "Shh....it's alright moon beam." Preston gathered the books as Azumiral helped Kimikyo to her feet. The three quietly walked the castle, not going any place in particular. "Can I ask something?" Preston spoke up, breaking the silence. "What is it?" Azumiral spoke gently to Preston though he hesitated. "Was...just going to ask where we're heading." "We're just walking. Sometimes it's better to walk then go anywhere." Azumiral took the books from Preston, dismissing him. The two sisters walked the castle and its grounds until morning. "Let's go back....they'll be leaving soon..." Kimikyo spoke up with a croaky voice. She had quietly cried through the night, thinking back to that faithful day. Azumiral led her sister to her room to freshen up before the two went to meet with everyone. Aiko stood at the portal with the head mage to ensure nothing went wrong as the group passed through. Kimikyo lingered behind Azumiral though she was looking up at Maxson. Azumiral had moved, walking over to Preston who she gave a hug to, then a hug to Piper. "Goodbye, you two. My the winds guide you through your travels in life." Kigra and Aiko both bowed before the group. "Farewell." Kimikyo stepped forwards. She had her hands balled up into fists. "G-Goodbye...Paladin Danse, Piper, General Preston..." She looked up with tears in her eyes. "And good riddance to you Elder Maxson! Now I don't have to do your crazy training." Maxson looked down at her, placing his hand on her head. "Arthur. My name is Arthur

Maxson." Kimikyo flinched at not only his touch but his words. "I also gave that list to your guards, they'll make sure you train." Aiko cleared her throat at the group. "If you are ready." She held her hand out to the portal. "We're ready." First Danse walked through, then Preston and Piper. Aiko nodded her head to Maxson who slowly stepped through. The air was silent as everyone watched the portal. It began to ripple and change color. Kimikyo had clenched her eyes shut for what felt like an eternity. "Kimikyo." Azumiral placed her hand on Kimikyo's shoulder. Kimikyo opened her eyes to see the portal still there. "Well then, I suppose we will be seeing out friends again. Now dears, I'm afraid since that place is so...dirty with radiation I don't want you going there." Aiko walked away from the portal with the three daughters following after. "Kimikyo please meet with me later on." "Yes, mama." At her mother's request Kimikyo met with Aiko in her mother's room. "Are you alright? I heard that you had fallen asleep in the barn, and then just last night you didn't sleep." "I am alright mama." "Promise?" Kimikyo looked away from Aiko. "I will try." At that Kimikyo left the room, going to her own. "Ah there you are dear sister." Azumiral and Kigra were stood in Kimikyo's room, Kigra holding the wolf plush. "How adorable. Wittle Kimikyo had a wolf." Kimikyo walked past Kigra, sitting at her table. "Hope you don't mind, but he'll look just precious in my room!" Kimikyo bit her lip before looking at Kigra. "It is mine." "What are you going to do about fish girl?" "Enough Kigra. Put her wolf down." Azumiral looked at Kigra, who tossed the wolf aside. "Fiiine." Kigra walked out of the room with Azumiral following behind. Kimikyo walked over to the plush, picking him up slowly. "Funny...I named you after him without even knowing his name." Kimikyo stared at the plush, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm...glad he's gone. Just one more person bound to leave me...so...why do I feel lost..." Kimikyo shook her head before putting the plush on her shelf next to the griffon.

[its8simplejulesblog]

So I’m Supposed To Be Studying For An Econ Exam Right Now

But I just had to write this. Sometimes I feel like things that would normally be a priority to someone else should take the back burner when I feel like there is an important social issue that needs to be addressed. Today’s topic is a little bit sensitive. It’s a little bit scary and I don’t think this will be too detailed or graphic but I want to issue a trigger warning anyway because you just never know.

I want to talk about harassment.

I contemplated writing this post for a little while now just because I didn’t think it necessarily applied to me. We live in a man’s world. Everyone knows it. You’re taught it in school and it’s reinforced and confirmed in your everyday and social lives. I publicly say “I hate men” about at least 7 times a day just because I don’t know what else to say at this point (but I don’t truly mean it). Life is a game of power and men have it. It’s one of those things that is so deeply ingrained in universal society that there is no hope in it changing anytime soon (just being honest). However, as I grow up and look more inquisitively on the world I see this power play out in so many different ways and if we were to brush all of my jokes and nagging comments and eyerolls aside I have to say, quite frankly, that it’s scary. 

I am very much a feminist (in the traditional sense of equality, not the modern sense of putting men down). If you had asked me if I was about a year ago I would have also said yes, but I would have added a “but....” as to alleviate the implications that I was crazy and aggressive and trying to assert my female dominance and grind all men to a ridiculous pulp. It sounds stupid, but every time the word was introduced in a conversation all of the guys in the room would crack jokes or talk shit and if anyone knows me at all, the unfortunate truth is I’m constantly trying not to be the negative talk of anyone’s conversation, even if that means silencing myself. 

So, for the longest time I kind of stayed away from that word. That is, until my parent’s anniversary. On April 9th, 2020 my mom and dad and I sat down and watched their wedding video. We talked about all of the cute things my dad did for my mom and eventually my mom told me that instead of a bouquet she threw a remote to the women and my dad threw an apron to the men to just highlight how bullshit they thought gender roles were. I fell in love with the concept, and ever since then have been thinking more and more about how I should just say what I feel without the fear of being ridiculed by anyone. 

A woman’s role in society, the cooking and cleaning I get it..in fact, I really do enjoy doing those things. However, that fact is one small drop in the bucket when I consider what those implications mean. The women that fought for the right to vote, the women that are publicly shamed for speaking up about being raped by anyone let alone our fucking president. I know this blog was supposed to be a friendly and welcoming place but let me just say that it makes me shake with rage when I think about how frequently women are disrespected. 

I would be lying if I said this didn’t apply to me, so that’s why I needed to write this. I want to preface this part by saying that I have been so so so SO lucky to have been surrounded by so many amazing men my whole life. I’ve learned so much from them and some of them have turned into my best friends and I trust my dad and uncles and grandfather with my life. However, it has to be addressed that virtually every female in the world has been harassed or treated as less than in one way or another. I know that I’m not typically one for making vague claims like that, and I would rather whip out statistics, but I think that’s a claim I can make with absolute certainty. 

There’s a certain point where it’s not a joke anymore. I understand that miscommunication and misinterpretations are a thing. I understand that a lot of guys have good intentions that are incorrectly viewed, I get it. But a lot of the times...it’s not. I remember when the Me Too movement was at its peak and there were still men making jokes and not taking it seriously and I wanted to vomit. These are people’s sisters, daughters, friends. People that I’ve known since middle school that could do no wrong, people that are sweet and want nothing else than to see the good in everyone get taken advantage of all the time. I have not been raped, but everyday I live in fear that it could be me. 

The concept is unconditional. You don’t have to be conventionally pretty to be taken advantage of. It doesn’t matter what you’re wearing at the time it doesn’t matter where you are it doesn’t matter if you think you know someone or not NO ONE deserves to be violated like that. I understand that harassment and sexual assault is not limited to women, but I feel the need to speak mainly on what I am familiar with. 

I was in New York with my family. We were walking through the streets of Manhattan and we walked through a group of men hanging out and they all whistled at me. My mom threatened to hit them with a flyswatter. 

I had a teacher in highschool who was particularly interested in our adherence to the dress code. In the middle of class he would make us stand up and touch our toes so he could measure if our skirts were too short. There were times when he called me out specifically and I was mortified. There was one day when I was sick and he called and asked to speak to me personally. He asked me if I was okay and taking care of myself and he made sure that if there was anything he could do that I should let him know. He asked me to be his TA the next school year, but before that could happen he was arrested. 

I dated a guy in highschool that cursed me out profusely when we broke up. He told me that I thought I was better than him and that I was trash and a loser. He couldn’t fathom the idea that I was capable of making my own choices.

The male mentors on my robotics team always talked over me. It was a miracle if I got a word in. Towards the end, I could finally hold my own, but it was a process. There were days when I would cry to my dad because I was trying so hard to prove myself. I told myself every day that the next day I wouldn’t cry in front of them because if I did they wouldn’t take me seriously. 

In Disney World I had a guy run up to me and ask for my snapchat because he thought I was pretty. I had never met him, we knew nothing about each other. It was supposed to be a compliment, but I felt objectified. 

I was at a frat party at UD. I was hanging out with my friends when a guy tapped me from behind and we started a conversation. He was a really nice guy, very sweet, but when my friends came back and told me they were about to leave I felt very trapped. The guy I was talking to seemed sad and he told them that they could leave and he would watch out for me. I thanked him, but went with my friends anyway and a few days later he stopped talking to me. 

I got cheated on because my ex was bored and had other options

I’ve now blocked 3+ guys on social media for constantly asking to hang out because I’m scared of how they’ll react if I say no. God forbid you reject a man. The second you do you’re called a fraud and told you’re not that pretty anyway and you’re selfish and not actually that great and are a waste of time. 

So no, no I wasn’t raped, but I have every reason to write this post. Fuck Brock Turner. Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck Bill Cosby. I could go on and on and on. This is not just a race war, this is people standing up to what they never could. Is the country in disarray? Yes, but I say, bring it on. I’m sick and tired of people making jokes about things that are serious problems. I’m sick and tired of men thinking they’re entitled to me. I don’t owe men SHIT. I shouldn’t be surprised when someone treats me right or opens a door for me or asks for my consent. How messed up is that that the bare minimum seems like a reward. 

So to the guys reading this: when I say, “I hate men” don’t get defensive, don’t say “not me though,” don’t make jokes. When I say I hate men I mean I hate the system that degrades me to nothing in their presence. I’m tired of feeling like a hero in my econ class because I’m the only girl speaking up. I’m tired of people assuming that I only work out cause I’m trying to impress someone. I’m tired of feeling like a failure because I feel uncomfortable and disrespected sending certain pictures fuck that. 

I know there are good guys out there, I do. I just wish there were more because there’s nothing quite like feeling constantly used. It really puts a damper on your image of yourself. 

I am not here to please anyone. I am not here for you, I’m here for me, and if I recognize that someone in my life is good for me then they will stay, otherwise, you can snip snip yourself out of my life. I’m not a piece of meat. I have thoughts and feelings and I can have intellectual conversations and I can use power tools and solve math equations and I’m not an idiot and I’m not a toy so I refuse to be treated like that ever again. 

I used to be afraid to say that I was a feminist, but now I can say so with absolute confidence and if you’re a male that’s uncomfortable with that then good, think about what that means. Men ARE smarter and more capable after all, right? 

[mummysspace]

Is 3 Really the Magic Number?

I have three kids, two of which are three year old twins, and I often find myself wondering whether there is any truth to the whole "3 is the magic number" thing. Don't get me wrong, I love my three kids to the moon and back again and I wouldn't change a thing, but three, well it has its challenges.

The 3 Kids, 2 Hands Dilemma

For starters, I only have two hands so instead of choosing between which two little hands to hold when crossing the road, I often find myself resorting to holding two in one hand and one in the other. That gets tricky though when it is the nursery and school run and I have to carry backpacks, lunch bag, book bag and more as well as juggling the kids. If you are struggling to picture it, just think "walking circus" with me as the demented ringmaster or perhaps crazy clown is more accurate, ushering my three little darlings who want to walk or run at varying paces, sometimes balancing on curbs, picking up sticks, pretending to be zombies, hiding and so on. Put it this way I am looking forward to the week off from the school run during half term.

Car Logistics

Now lets move on to car seats and trying to fit three of them across the back of the car. Your choice of "nice cars" is seriously limited, unless of course you live in the States where there seems to be a lot more choice in spacious family cars, the rental cars we have had while visiting over the past two years have been brilliant, I wish they were sold here. In the U.K. we don't have as many options so you may have to even consider looking at *shock horror* mini vans.

If you do manage to squeeze three in a row in the back, the child in the middle will never be happy and someone will always be getting elbowed or screaming and shouting about their sibling's hand/foot/ear/hair/toe (the list goes on..) edging too close to them for comfort. The only time it is quiet back there is when they all fall asleep, or at least two out of three do.

Why has someone not invented little transparent capsules or bubble like pods you could just safely surround each child with to help confine them in their space and lessen the sibling car moaning and bickering?

Family Unit Quantified

You are also not considered a "family" when it comes to any type of tickets or bookings, be that cinema, hotel accommodation, amusement park rides etc unless you are 2 adults plus 2 children. The minute you add that extra child, everything starts to get a whole lot more complicated and you have to come up with clever ways to get around the restrictions that three kids pose. Your choices are limited, things like the special "Gruffalo" room at Chessington World of Adventure your child has seen on TV and is desperate to stay in, unfortunately only sleeps four, and you can forget trying to use the last minute or discount sites to try and book a family hotel room or package holiday as you will inevitably have to call to sort it all out. A Family these days is apparently a unit of four, not five or more and if you exceed that number then suddenly things don't compute.

Bugs Bedlam

Illnesses are also fun, I will never forget when all three kids got the dreaded norovirus. The horror of the endless emptying of sick bowls, dashing to get a bucket to the right child on time, and dealing with all three vomiting at once, not to mention all the changing of clothes, washing and cleaning. Exhausting is not the word...

Threenagers

Forgetting all that about numbers of children, let's talk about the age 3. You have probably heard of "Threenagers" before and yes, it is true - they exist. My 3 year old twins are teaching me all about this magic age. Put it this way, I hope the Threenagers stage trumps the Teenager one. At 3, they can throw tantrums of epic proportions and for some reason love kicking off in public, often at the same time, it is not pleasant and hard to control and contain. .

Three year old are not just bigger in stature, but super strong midst tantrum and have by now learned ninja kicking and hitting skills not to mention the shrieking blood curdling screams. 

Three year olds no longer like strollers, they have two speeds, high speed running and what seems to be almost walking backwards, but is actually barely moving at a snails pace. I miss the days (pre 3 years) when I could scoop both twins up in my arms and carry them together, life was easier then.

So is 3 the Magic Number?

All jokes aside and despite the logistic nightmares and hurdles you are forced to jump as a parent with three kids in tow, it does mean that any day, any time you choose, you can declare it's party time, turn the music up and you will always have your own little crew ready to join in and dance with you but the best bit has to be the hugs, monster family hugs with three kids, well they are awesome.

These three are a little force to be reckoned with and have an amazing bond. They may bicker and fight at times like all siblings do, but they stick together and have each other's backs even at this young age. I saw this happen yesterday when some kids started teasing Ben and calling him names as we left the playground. The twins were having none of it and before I could say anything, Zoey, using all of her 3 year old mite marched up to the boys with Zachary by her side, declared they were idiots and to leave Ben alone. No one is going to mess with these three, there's definitely magic in their number. 

The force is strong with these 3

from Mummy's Space http://ift.tt/2kRuuGO