#joker & kaidan

[chiefmysticmia]

if kaidan came out during ME1 it would’ve gone something like this

[clericofshadows]

MASS EFFECT 3 - CITADEL DLC RETAKING THE NORMANDY

[crispy0nion]

you know im enjoying something if i start making textposts about it

[sewermageboy]

Thinking about the relationship between Joker and Kaidan.

How they've both been there since the beginning, how their first scene is them sitting together in the cockpit of the Normandy, teasing each other. How Joker sticks by Shepard's side the entire time while Kaidan doesn't. How Joker judges Kaidan for not coming to fight the Collectors. How Kaidan blames Joker for causing Shepard's first death. How Joker knows Kaidan is right to blame him. How they're both back on the Normandy in the end, saving the galaxy. How they can both lose the person they love (Shepard and EDI) to save everyone else.

[lilmissnatcat24]

for no other reason than i worked at an ice cream shop for eight years, here's what ice cream the mass effect characters would eat

shepard: neapolitan, strawberry for their paragon side, chocolate for their renegade, vanilla to balance

garrus: moose tracks, but will pick it apart just for the peanut butter cups and give shepard the leftovers

tali: literally any booze flavored ice cream

liara: mint chocolate chip because she secretly kind've fucks with the taste of toothpaste but will never admit it out loud

kaidan: butter pecan. it's not everyone's favorite, but it's his, and he's totally cool with it

ashley: whatever the 2183 equivalent to the tonight dough. cookie dough chunks, brownie chunks, butterscotch, chocolate chips, malt chunks, everything

wrex: this man is old as balls!!!!!! rum raisin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joker: lemon sherbet. you cannot tell me that man is not lactose intolerant

miranda: cherries garcia, little bit sweet, little bit tart

jack: the most sickening sweet shit you can think of. cotton candy with marshmallow superman with a side of sugar

jacob: some sort of dark chocolate peanut butter ice cream that sounds good in theory but in reality you can only take like 3 bites of before you get a tummy ache

zaeed: banana splits that he likes to mash together with a spoon and eat like some deconstructed milkshake

kasumi: the weird avant gard shit you see in hipster vegan shops, like some bacon sweet potato rosebud ice cream

mordin: coffee ice cream, because he likes the taste of coffee but if he were to actually drink it he would spontaneously combust

grunt: those froyo shops that were everywhere in 2014 where you could make a bowl with like 5% froyo and 95% other toppings and it cost 14 dollars

thane: doesn't like ice cream because it reminds him of how he abandoned his child and how his wife is dead and he could never go back to the life he left behind, the life of stability, because his body is engineered for a deadly purpose and he can never atone for his sins rocky road

samara: this woman is old as balls!!!!!!!!!!!!! pistachio!!!!!!!!!!!

legion: tried vanilla ice cream. too sticky, got stuck in his wiring.

james: one of those brownie sundaes that weighs approximately 5 pounds and is majority whipped cream

steve: chocolate chip. classy, just like him ;)

traynor: something smooth and rich and velvety and inexplicably sexy, like raspberry chocolate chunk

edi: takes the idea of ice cream a little too literally and just has a bowl of heavy cream with ice cubes. is confused why everyone is disgusted.

javik: ice cream is for primitives (peaches and cream)

[sol-consort]

I've made mems

[dalekofchaos]

Update:I made a post on what a Virmire Sacrifice replacing Kai Leng could look like

[hextechmaturgy]

immortalizing ME1 in rainbow colors, as she deserves

[creaturefeaturecommando]

Mack Shepard: So that settles it, TIM is homophobic

Garrus: Homophobic ?

Mack: Out of all these people, he couldn’t have hired a hot gay man to give me a little incentive to fight for Cerberus ? Seems homophobic to me.

Garrus: Well there weren’t any gay men on the Normandy so I don’t know what you’re bitching about

Mack: I had Kaidan to look at. Seeing him bend over once was enough to get me through the day, I have absolutely nothing. What am I supposed to fantasize about ? You Garrus ? The one I have to remind constantly not to casually commit police brutality ?

Garrus: Technically it’s not police brutality it’s just regular brutality now

Mack: Or Jacob ? Mr Daddy Issues over there isn’t giving me anything to work with. Or how about the terminally ill Drell with a son ? Joker ? Or Mordin ? Oh sure, Zaeed is bisexual but he smells like old spice and an ash tray, Maybe if I squint hard enough I can pretend that Jack is a dude-

Garrus: Alright, I get it, you’re going through a dry spell-

Mack: Dry spell ? This is a DROUGHT ! Not a drink of water in sight ! Not a sip ! I’m dying Garrus ! I’m dying in this desert !

Garrus: …. If I ask Kasumi to hack into the alliance files to get you a picture of Kaidan and a dirty magazine to work with, will you leave me alone ?

Mack: …. Throw in some cocoa butter and you’ve got a deal.

[aestheticallygaming]

Companion stills from the ME interactive comic.

[fireflyecho]

idk how many joker fans there are but i love himmmmmm

[hanatsuki89]

One apartment on the Citadel, three couples. (Briar Jane Shepard and Joker, Christina and Zaeed, Adam and Kaidan)

[galaxbees]

i love bisexuals

[assmeffect]

Mass Effect Men, driving HCs

women here

Kaidan: listen, everyone who claims Canadians are so polite and demure has never seen one drive. years of pent up anger come out when Kaidan drives. no where near as bad as Zaeed, he still follows the rules and laws. extremely animated when raging, and comes up with the most creative insults.

Garrus: as much as garrus loves to rib Shepard about their driving, he's barely any better. his time at c-sec at least drilled basic rules of the road into him, but he's still an asshole who'll cut people off.

Thane: prefers to drive in complete silence, maybe plays some white noise while he drives. do not try talking to him he's not listening. very careful on the road, hasn't been in an accident once.

Jacob: generally a good driver, just doesn't use his turn signals. good at multitasking while driving, so talking, listening to the radio, eating, he can do it. will gladly take the role of designated driver

Mordin: I think he hates driving, he get too in his own thoughts and forgets he's driving. would rather let shepard drive than do the driving

Zaeed: worst driver here. worse than Shepard in that he doesn't even try to follow the rules of the road. his road rage is horrific, has fully gotten out of his car to fist fight someone. would drive a pickup with trucknuts.

Cortez: best driver here. very relaxed when driving, very in his element. this man is a Saint on the road, not an ounce of road rage in his body

Vega: it's a miracle he hasn't been killed, he never wears a seatbelt, never uses his turn signals, and pulls illegal turns all the time. drives with his windows open and radio absolutely blasting music.

Joker: would be the best driver if he wasn't such a jackass. regularly flips off other drivers he thinks are being stupid. thinks he's the best driver on the road, and he is, just don't tell him that

Jaal: has an angaran license, though I don't think he drives a traditional vehicle. more along the lines of some sort of atv or motorcycle type thing. a good driver, has definitely modified his vehicle.

Liam: I honestly don't think he has a license. he prefers public transit or to let other people drive. he's not that great of a driver when he does though.

Gil: has zooped up his car and treats it like his baby. will not let anyone else drive it, ESPECIALLY not Ryder. will fight someone if they hit his car. follows the rules of the road religiously.

Reyes: Street races, will try and goad other people into street racing. has lost his license multiple times. amazingly enough has never crashed.

[championsandheroes]

I would like to have a word with whoever decided that the correct way to deploy the mako was approximately eighty miles above the planet's atmosphere. And not just because I'm scared of heights.

Over at Patreon, society6, and redbubble we don’t throw you out of a moving vehicle at an alarming height, mako or no mako.

[mosscreeperarchived]

I just saw a post (https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL8hawtm/) about the general public in universe viewing the protagonist’s near suicidality as heroic.

I can’t stop thinking about Shepard in ME3. How every authority figure keeps asking them for more and more and more. How Anderson tells Joker to keep an eye on his kid. How their love interest begs Shepard to come back to them at multiple points, to please not throw away their life. How Shepard flat out calls Kaidan someone to live for.

Most of the galaxy and Shepard themself view that basically suicidal behavior as what makes them heroic while that kills the people who care about them.

Anyways, I’m addicted to when fics explore that and I can’t wait to do it in my own