#johnny kavanagh x reader

[kavanaghdreams]

Invisible Cracks

A little blurb from Johnny's POV, for my n1 supporter @kassficlore !!

Part 1.5

Content warning: Adult language, thats all i think?

Johnny

I saw her before she saw me.

Not that she ever really saw me. Not properly.

She walked like a ghost through these halls, all quiet and careful, like she was afraid to take up space. And fuck me if that didn’t do something mad to my chest.

She had this way of slipping in and out of rooms like smoke. Head low, hair in her face, jumper always pulled past her wrists like she was hiding from the cold or something worse. I didn't bleeding know.

But I saw her. Always.

She looked different today. Quieter, somehow. Which was saying something.

The usual spark in her eyes, that shy glint that barely ever surfaced, was gone. Her skin was paler than usual, like the blood had been drained from her body, and there were dark shadows under her eyes, like she hadn’t slept.

Something was off.

Not that I could say anything. Not that I had any right to.

I was just Johnny. Gibsie’s best mate. Tommen’s rugby golden boy. The lad who had girls and teachers all over Cork, scratch that, all of Ireland, fawning over him.

And she was… her.

Y/N.

The girl who never laughed loudly. The one with eyes that stand out from her face, and lips she bit when she was nervous. The one who disappeared into herself so often, I half-wondered if she ever really felt here at all.

But she saw me today. Just for a second.

And Jesus Christ, I felt it like a punch to the chest.

[sockiess]

hiii!!! if your up for it could you write something for johnny kavanagh like maybe something fulffy? it’s totally okay if you dont want to though!!!

Anon you have no idea how much I love and appreciate you🙏🙏 I have been waiting for a request on Johnny🙏 #numberonebookboyfriend

Shannon doesn’t exist in this fic and the reader basically takes place of her (I love my girl shannon though don’t worry!)

Sick Day

Warnings: none besides mentions of feeling sick!

I laid in bed covered by blankets and yet I was still shivering. I felt horrible and haven’t slept a wink all night. I knew that I had to leave for school soon but I just couldn’t find the strength to get up.

I was about to cry from my headache and exhaustion I heard a soft knock on my door. “Baby you awake?” I hear Johnny’s voice softly ask behind the door. I found comfort in his voice and all I wanted to do was curl up into him. I heard my door softly open and close before feeling the bed dip down beside me. Johnny’s hands softly rubbed at my scalp before he leaned down and kissed the side of my head. “It’s time to get up baby” He softly whispered into my ear as he started to rub soothing circles on my arm. All I could do was groan. My whole body hurt and the thought of getting up made me want to cry. “Come on baby” Johnny whispered as he softly sat me up. “There’s my sleepy girl” Johnny smiled as he brushed my sweaty hair away from my face. I let my head fall into his chest as I breathed his comforting scent in.

“What’s wrong baby?” Johnny softly asked as he rubbed my back. He gently moved me away from his chest before kissing my forehead. He immediately pulled back and frowned and then moved the back of his hand to my forehead. “Jesus you’re burning up” Johnny said. “Stay right here” He instructed me as he quickly left my room. I would have gone down and eavesdropped to what he was talking about to doing but I just didn’t have the strength to.

about 5 minutes later Johnny came back in with his mom Edel this time. “Oh pet you don’t look like you’re feeling well” Edel’s soft voice said. “I’m not” I confessed. Both Johnny and Edel gave me a sympathetic look. “Well you just stay home and rest today” Edel said. “I’ll let Johnny stay home as well to take care of you.” Edel said smiling. That brought a smile to my face. “Now I know the rules I have set but I have faith that my son won’t get any notions while you’re in the condition you’re in” Edel said smiling and sending Johnny a look. “Jesus ma!” Jonny said while looking horrified. “Can we not talk about sex while my girlfriend is on the brink of death” Johnny said, the pitch in his voice getting higher. “I was just saying that I trusted you” Edel said defensively. “Well thank you Ma” Johnny grumbled.

30 Minutes later I was in Johnny’s bed with a cold washcloth set on my forehead and a movie playing on his tv. “If you want to move somewhere else like the living room or back to room let me know” Johnny whispered as he kissed my forehead. I didn’t, I loved the comfort of his room and his bed that smelled like him.

“I’ll be right back” Johnny said before getting up. When he opened his door Sookie ran in and laid on the bed next to me. “Hi sookie” I smiled and petted her. “Keep her company Sookie” Johnny smiled down at the old sweet dog and give her a little pet before quickly kissing me on the forehead.

When Johnny came back he had some medicine in his hands and a bottle of water. “Here baby you have to take these” Johnny said. He handed me the water bottle and medicine and I took it, feeling grateful for the way the cool water soothed my sore throat. Sookie got up and went and laid down at the end of the bed so Johnny could sit down beside me. Before Johnny could sit down I softly grabbed his hand. He looked up at me “you ok?” He asked before moving hair away from my face. “Can I wear one of your t-shirts?” I asked softly. Johnny smiled before moving to his dresser and pulling out a T-shirt for me. “This one ok?” He asked me, holding up the shirt. I nodded softly. Johnny walked over and helped me out of the hoodie that I was wearing, and sweated through, before helping me put on his shirt.

Johnny sat back down beside me before he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and softly pulled me into his chest. “Johnny you’re going to get sick” I whispered. “Don’t care” he replied. As much as I didn’t want him to get sick I still nuzzled my face into his chest, I mean i’m sick so I should get a free pass on being a little selfish.

A wave of exhaustion hit me as I curled up into his warm chest some more. I felt Johnny dip his head down before placing a kiss at the top of my head and pulling the blanket up. Before I fully fell asleep I head Johnny’s voice whisper “goodnight my little darling sleep well” and pulled me closer into his chest. I finally let the sleep that i’ve been craving for so long finally take over.

I don’t know how long I was asleep for before I woke up but when I did Johnny wasn’t in bed with me. I frowned and searched his room for him. When I saw that the his bathroom door was open and he wasn’t in there I decided to get up and look for him. My whole body ached as I stepped out of his bed but I came to the realization that It didn’t ache as much as it did this morning and smiled at the thought that I was getting better. I softly went downstairs and headed towards the kitchen when I heard movement.

When I stepped into the kitchen Johnny was there making me soup. I softly smiled at the sight of him stirring the soup in the pot. I walked over and wrapped my arms around him. “You’re supposed to be in bed” Johnny said, though I could hear the smile in his voice. “You weren’t in bed with me when I woke up, wanted to see where you were” I whispered into his back. “I’m making you soup” he said with a big boyish smile on his face.

After a few hours and 3 bowls of soup later we all heard the chaos of my little brothers coming home from school. I smiled as you could hear Tadgh and Ollie arguing. After a few minutes there was a soft knock on the door and Edel came in, “How are you feeling pet?” She asked me, giving me a sympathetic look. “I’m feeling a lot better thanks to Johnny” I replied, smiling at the boy whose chest I was currently resting my head on. “Oh good!” Edel said smiling before leaving the room and closing the door.

“I love you” I told Johnny as I looked up at him and smiled. “I love you too” Johnny said before kissing the top of my head for the thousandth time today. “Thank you for taking care of me” I said. “I’ll always take care of you my little darling” Johnny said smiling. I nuzzled my face into his chest feeling tired once again and as i let sleep take over me I felt a feeling that I could never get sick of.

I felt safe.

i did not mean to make it this long but i’ve been wanting to write for Johnny since like August so I got a little carried away, oops😁

I didn’t know if you wanted Fem reader, gn reader, or Male reader so if you want me to change the pronouns or anything please let me know!!

as always thank you so much for your request 🙏 sorry it took a couple days I’ve actually been sick LMAO which is what inspired this story in the first place 😁 If you want me to add or change anything please let me know!! I appreciate you anon!!

[adrianvokov]

johnnyshannon headers, binding 13 and keeping 13.

like or reblog if you get any header.

[cherrreid]

I'M CAPTIVATED BY YOU, BABY, LIKE A FIREWORKS SHOW ! j. kavanagh x f! reader

𝓢ynopsis: baking gets messy▰icing, the kitchen, a cake & him.

𝓦arnings: suggestive???? making out. reader is shorter than johnny (dude's 6'5,,,,,,,). nicknames.(love, princess, sweetheart.). ooc(?)

𝓝ote

001. first johnny kavanagah work, yay!!

002. m. townsend & j. todd r prolly mad at me.

003. i LOVE this man oh my gods

004. i ws rwading a children's stroybooks smth to my brother earlier & i,,,,,,,,,,,,,, might've used ghosme ofthose words here

005. i honestly love this blurb

006. real ones KNOW this,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,uh cake baking scenario was inspired by an old j. todd fic of mine

007. will start reading k13 next week🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼(hopefully)

you should have known better than this. a bloody, idiotic plan. because baking with johnny fucking kavanagh? no way will it go smoothly.

you grab for the sugar, but johnny's too quick, holding it out of your reach with a smug smile. "say please," he says, steel blue eyes sparkling with amusement.

"johnny, give me the sugar." you huff, stretching up onto your toes, but he's 6'5", & you're in a losing battle.

"not very polite, love."

"you're the worst."

"nah," he thinks, finally handing it over, his fingers brushing against yours intentionally. "i'm the best. the best at rugby, the best at charming the pants off you▰"

"we are baking," you remind him, but he's already moving in behind you, his chest warm against your back.

"mhmm." he hums, laying his chin on your shoulder, arms pinning you in as he observes you scooping out the sugar. "but you're so cute doing it. distracting, honestly."

you roll your eyes, pushing him off with your elbow. "concentrate, kavanagh. we still need to make the icing."

"oh, i'm concentrating," he says, resting against the counter as you mix the frosting, eyes heavy on your face. "just not on the cake."

you brush him off. kind of.

but then he goes & does something dumb.

he sticks a finger in the icing bowl▰your icing bowl▰& slaps it right across your cheek, laughing when you gasp.

"johnny!"

"what?" he smirks, licking the remainder off his finger like a stupid villain. "figured you could use a little sweetening up."

you don't blink. you scoop up a glob of icing & slap it squarely onto his face, observing with pleasure as his jaw falls.

"oh, you're in for it now, princess."

war broke. icing ends up everywhere. on your arms, your hoodie, his jaw, his damn hair. he catches your wrist to prevent another attack, but you both stagger, & the next thing you know, you're trapped against the counter, chest heaving, too close.

johnny's smirking again, but it's slower. lazier. "look at you," he says softly, thumb tracing the icing on your jaw. "all messy."

"whose fault is that?" you catch your breath, but your voice is a little quieter now, because he's standing right there, eyes darting to your mouth like he's already decided.

"mine," he confesses. "but i kinda like you like this."

you don't have time to fling a snarky response, because his mouth is on yours suddenly. it's not desperate, not rushed, just deep, warm, lingering. like he's savoring it. like he's savoring you.

when he draws back, you're panting, fingers knotted in his hoodie.

"tastes like sugar," he says softly, lips grazing yours as he smiles. "but i think you'd be sweeter without the icing."

you swallow hard. that doesn't even make sense. "johnny."

"yeah?" he grins, cocking his head. "feelin' something, sweetheart?"

you push him. hard. "shut up, we have a cake to finish baking.”

he just laughs, planting one more annoyingly slow kiss on your cheek before taking the bowl.

"whatever you say, princess."

© minorlyatfault, 2025

[bloodwrittenletters]

hi lovies, long time no seeeee, anyways, I'm not sick anymore!!! and currently working on a third part of the percy x mortal!reader fic which I desperately need to find a name for and while I cook that up i thought of showing y'all my drafts and you guys can pick which one will be getting published first (between today and tomorrow deepening on how this goes) there's a couple i don't have on tumblr (they were hand written) so I'll name them and you people let me know if you want it 💕💕 im also working on a request sooooo yeah! just thought this would be good to hold you guys over as I work my mastermind privately ^.^

1. kiss me harder — as you can seeeee, some percy loving a hades girl, this is kinda "but daddy I love him!" vibes???? like a tiny bit of that and some forbidden trope sort of thing it, ALSO it's very fluffy even with the slight nsfw (the making out part basically lolsies) like it's just percy jackson being himself (a lover boy 100% NAWT fake) 😋😋

2. fall in love — michael townsend the absolute lover of lovers and my babyyyyy, if you don't know who he is he's from The Naturals series and he's basically the best ever, this fic has a lot of humor (because he's funny as frick 😋😋😋) and it's very fluffy too (ps: where the michael lovers at?????)

3. puppy eyes — i don't know if y'all know but ive been recently getting into boys of tommen and i loveeeeeee joey, and gerard (aka gibsie) and johnny obvsss, im about 8 chapters deep with binding 13 butttttttt i just needed to do this, also because like Michael there's not a lot of content of this man in tumblr so i decided i would make it myself 😽😽 it's reader being captivated by Johnny's precious eyes and him being flustered about it (he loves his girl sooooo muchhhh)

4. heaven in your lips — my OLDEST fic. literally, it has been sitting in my drafts since I started on tumblr. it has percy and fem!reader being bestie with TONS of tension, percy smokes (which idk how I feel about bc i know in my soul he wouldn't do that but it's for the fic sooo..) and he blows cherry flavored smoke in reader's mouth 😛😛😛 very wes bennett of him ifykwim and if you guys do think this would be something you wanna read i had an idea of making a part two where percy and reader confess and all, also fyi this needs A LOT of fixing, like as you can tell it doesn't have my usual format because it IS ACCIENT

5. i heard you calling, i see you walking — jason todd x fem!reader headcanons, like the most adorable childhood friends to lovers and i might make this a blurb??? dunno yet

6. i wolf you — jason grace x fem!reader au where they are married and jason goes out to get groceries and comes back to their new Rome apartment with a baby wolf, and he says "he followed me here and then he got tired so he just looked at me and I picked him up and came here... he's basically my son!!!!!!!!! can we keep him?" and.... i haven't decided if reader caves in but it's a cute blurb

7. picking daisies — wes bennet x fem!reader woooooo!!! wes takes reader to a picnic date and starts making her crown flowers and just kisses her and kisses her and kisses her and then tells her something like "i love you more than the flowers love the soil" or something like that so cutesy and poetic in a silly way

y'all let me know which one you would rather have first!!!!

[allisluv]

this is gonna hit a very niche target audience BUT i’m re-reading binding 13 rn and i’m begging for requests for the boys of tommen characters, specifically joey, johnny, shannon, gibsie, katie or aoife!! requests are open! 💌

[sockiess]

someone please request me to write something about him PLEASE😔😔😔😔

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 johnny kavanagh, the bulldozer

[whousestypewriters]

| ⁞ johnny kavanagh ⭑.ᐟ

key: ಇ fluff | ⟡ angst | ✰ suggestive

nothing here yet!

[slt4kavanagh]

nsfw alphabet

pairing: johnny kavanagh x fem!reader

tw! suggestive/sexual content && thoughts .

masterlist !

ᯓ★ aftercare

he’s all warm hands and soft whispers. wipes you down, kisses your hair, pulls you against his chest like you might disappear if he lets go. “you alright, baby?”—he won’t sleep till you say yes.

ᯓ★ body part

he’s obsessed with your thighs. grips them, spreads them, rests his head there like it’s home. but your neck? it’s game over. he bites it like he can’t help himself.

ᯓ★ cum

he likes cumming inside, if you let him. something about knowing he’s in you drives him wild. but he’s also down to finish on your stomach, your chest—anywhere he can see it.

ᯓ★ dirty secret

he’s into control. not loud, not aggressive—just quiet, firm dominance. holding your wrists, whispering “be good for me” while he fucks you slow and deep.

ᯓ★ experience

he’s had a few partners, but it’s never been like this. you make him feel things he’s never felt. and when he’s with you, it’s not just sex—it’s everything.

ᯓ★ favourite position

your legs over his shoulders in missionary. lets him get deep, lets him look in your eyes. but if he’s feeling soft? spooning. slow strokes, hand on your stomach, kisses on your shoulder.

ᯓ★ goofy

not during—he’s serious, focused, intense. but after? you’ll get the softest smirk, a teasing little “tired already?” and a lazy hand tracing shapes on your skin.

ᯓ★ hair

he keeps it trimmed. natural, nothing fancy. never fully shaves — says it feels too weird, too bare. just neat enough not to be a mess. clean, soft, smells like his body wash. it’s low effort but still thoughtful, like everything he does when he really cares.

ᯓ★ intimacy

johnny doesn’t say much, but when he touches you, it’s all there. slow kisses, forehead pressed to yours, that look like he’s falling for you a little more every time.

ᯓ★ jerking off

he does. usually thinking about you. he’s lowkey needy, hand wrapped around himself in the shower, whispering your name like a prayer.

ᯓ★ kink

praise. soft dominance. light choking if you’re into it. he wants to ruin you slowly while telling you how good you are, how tight, how sweet. “just like that, angel.”

ᯓ★ location

his room is his sanctuary, but if you’re in his car, in the locker room, wherever—if you want him? he’s got you.

ᯓ★ motivation

you wearing his hoodie. the way you say his name. a soft moan, a bitten lip, the look in your eyes when you want him. it doesn’t take much—he’s always ready for you.

ᯓ★ no

he has hard limits around disrespect or anything that would hurt you. if you’re not 100% into something, he won’t touch it. full consent, always.

ᯓ★ oral

giving? he lives for it. takes his time, holds your thighs down while you squirm. receiving? loves it when you get needy, hands in his hair, choking on him. he’ll try not to come too fast, but it’s hard.

ᯓ★ pace

slow, deep, intense. but if you beg? if you’re already shaking? he’ll snap his hips and fuck you hard, one hand gripping your throat while he groans in your ear.

ᯓ★ quickie

he prefers taking his time, but a rushed, desperate fuck before practice? or in the backseat of his car when you can’t wait? yeah, he’s in.

ᯓ★ risk

he’s careful, but the thrill of almost getting caught does something to him. he’ll press you up against a wall, hand over your mouth, whisper “stay quiet for me.”

ᯓ★ stamina

rugby captain. strong. driven. he can go for hours if you want. round two? round three? he’ll keep going until you’re wrecked and breathless under him.

ᯓ★ toys

not for him, but he’ll use them on you if you’re into it. loves watching you fall apart from a vibrator on your clit, eyes locked with his while he holds it there.

ᯓ★ unfair

he teases in that calm, dangerous way. slow fingers, warm breath on your neck, “you want it? then ask.” he’ll make you beg, but he never leaves you hanging.

ᯓ★ volume

low groans, heavy breathing, your name falling from his lips like he’s not even aware he’s saying it. not loud, but every sound he makes is filthy.

ᯓ★ wild card

he fantasises about taking you in the locker room showers after a match, sweat still on his skin, adrenaline running high, fucking you hard while trying not to get caught.

ᯓ★ x-ray

he’s big. thick, long, but not in a scary way—he knows how to use it, knows how to stretch you slowly, kiss you through every inch.

ᯓ★ yearning

he aches for you. all the time. late nights, long days, every second he’s not with you. and when he’s finally got you beneath him? he fucks like he missed you for a lifetime.

ᯓ★ zzz

he sleeps best with you in his arms. pulls you in, face buried in your neck, one hand still holding your thigh like he’s scared you’ll slip away.

[leona-hawthorne]

「 rules .ᐟ 」

blog rules

𐙚 | do not copy, translate, or repost any of my works to any website. i do not consent to this.

𐙚 | minors and ageless blogs, do not follow or interact; you will be blocked.

𐙚 | read the warnings at the top of my fics. if you skip the warning and end up feeling uncomfortable or triggered, that is not my fault, nor is it my problem. either block me or scroll.

𐙚 | all characters i write are aged up in all my works (20+).

𐙚 | be kind to each other, to yourselves, and to me ♡

request rules

REQUESTS ; open only for thoughts, not full fics/drabbles.

CHARACTERS I WRITE FOR ATM ; mattheo riddle, theodore nott, lorenzo berkshire, johnny kavanagh, gerard gibson.

𐙚 | i will not write: incest, self-harm/suicide, sexual assault, domestic violence, specific body types, large age gaps, pet play, teacher/professor x student, mental illnesses, religion, age play, age regression, male!reader, childish!reader — i think anything else is fair game, but if something makes me uncomfortable or i simply don’t think i can write it, i won’t.

𐙚 | do not send me a request and then send the same request to another writer. it’s inconsiderate and disrespectful to us both.

𐙚 | i write exclusively for fem!reader as it is what i am most comfortable with, so my work will include female pronouns and anatomy.

𐙚 | be kind and respectful when requesting; i’m a person too, not a robot.

if you’re not an anon, please write a little comment once your request has been completed :)

thank you for reading !!

navigation

[kavanaghdreams]

Invisible Cracks

She is invisible to everyone but him..

Part 1

Content warning: adult language, body dysmorphia, talks about self-harm and eating disorders. If this is triggering please go get a snack, drink water, and remember my dms are always open!

The hallways of Tommen College were as chaotic as ever—students shoving past each other, shouting over the din, the scent of expensive perfume mixing with damp jerseys filling the air. Rugby lads swaggered down the corridors like they owned the place, their presence impossible to ignore.

I walked through it unnoticed.

Not that I minded.

I kept my head down, hair falling like a curtain around my face, shielding me from the world. My bracelets clinked softly as I pulled the sleeves of my jumper down further, a nervous habit I hadn’t been able to shake. The weight of my schoolbag dragged on my shoulder, but I barely felt it. Compared to the weight pressing down on my chest, it was nothing.

"Oi, Y/N!"

I turned just in time for Claire Biggs to throw an arm around my shoulders. She smelled like strawberry lip gloss and coconut shampoo, the familiar scent comforting my nerves.

"Why do you always look like you're tryna disappear?" she asked, giving my shoulder squeeze.

I forced a small smile. "Maybe I'm just good at it."

Claire rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, not while I'm around."

Beside her, Shannon Lynch gave me a shy smile, her small frame practically swallowed by her uniform jumper. She was a master at making herself look small like she wanted to blend into the wall. A skill I was intimately familiar with. Despite that, her midnight blue eyes and plump lips kept all the boys' eyes on her, something I could never do.

"Come on," Lizzie Young piped up from my other side, her hair a mess like she just got out of bed, twirling a pen between her ring-covered fingers. "Gibsie’s waiting for us. Probably annoying the life out of Johnny."

I nodded, letting them pull me along through the crowd. It was easy to follow, easier than speaking up.

We reached the cafeteria, where the usual chaos reigned—lads throwing food, girls huddled in groups, whispering behind their hands. And in the middle of it all, Gerard “Gibsie” Gibson stood on a chair, dramatically reciting what sounded like a rugby commentary.

Johnny Kavanagh sat beside him, looking unimpressed, arms crossed over his broad chest.

"Jesus wept, would you sit down you bleedin' eejit?" Johnny muttered, grabbing Gibsie’s sleeve and yanking him down.

Gibsie flopped into his seat with a dramatic sigh. "You're such a killjoy."

His eyes lit up when he saw me. I was Gibsies favorite person to tease, well second, Claire had first place but that's because he's in love with her. I never knew why he spoke to me, I guess I've grown to deal with it, even enjoying it. "Ah, there's my favorite mystery girl! Come, sit, tell me about your day."

I slid into the seat beside him, grateful for the warmth of familiarity.

Johnny’s gaze flickered over to me for a fraction of a second, his sharp blue eyes meeting mine, before he returned to whatever he was eating.

He never looked at me for long. None of them did.

And maybe that was for the best.

Because if they looked too closely, they might see the cracks beneath the surface.

[sockiess]

Characters I write for :)!

Boys Of Tommen Series by Chloe Walsh:

Johnny Kavanagh

Joey Lynch

Gerard “Gibsie” Gibson

Criminal Minds:

Spencer reid

Dawsons Creek:

Pacey Witter

Outerbanks

JJ Maybank

Hayden Christensen Characters (on occasion)

Scott Barringer

Sam Monroe

Anakin Skywalker

[adrianvokov]

headers shannon lynch

[allisluv]

alright i am finally home after a week at my nanny's and i'm finally on my writing grind again, so as per usual, to get me back into the mood of writing things, let's have a thoughts night!! feel free to let me know what's been going on in your life or send in headcanons/blurbs etc!! i am also soo open to talking about my readersonas too so pop in any questions you may have for them. i have missed you all so much and thank you for all your patience <3333

[slt4kavanagh]

lacy pt2

pairing: johnny kavanagh x fem! reader

tw: none !

a/n: finished this in the car coming home from a birthday dinner, sry if it’s shit. creds to claire for helping me with this one .

masterlist ! pt1

“Do you really think you need anymore?” A strong Dublin accent spoke from behind me.

I didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was. Johnny Kavanagh’s presence was already a constant in my life to the point where I was automated to know when he was there.

“Fuck off, eejit. I’m fucking starving.” I responded tiredly.

“Course you are after all those drinks you downed. Don’t know how to ever slow down, do ya?” Johnny retaliated teasingly.

“What’s your fucking problem? It’s a party, only here for one purpose and that’s to get wasted. Besides, no need to act like you care when you’ve been hanging round Lynch all night long, not even batting an eyelash to the rest of us.” I spoke angrily, feeling myself get worked up at his constant lectures.

“What’s my problem? What’s your problem, I’ve never seen you this bad. This isn’t like you, Y/N. This isn’t the best mate I’m used to.”

“Save your sob story for the pillow, Kavanagh. I’m not in the mood for this best mate shit tonight”

“Fuck’s that supposed to mean?” He snapped at me.

“It means stop wasting your time, I’m tired of going round in circles with ya. Just fuck back off to Lynch and leave me alone. Matter of fact, keep Lynch as far the fuck away from me as possible.” I slurred as my head hit the wall.

“You’re fucking intoxicated, eejit. I’m taking ya home.” He replied as he steadied me.

I felt his large hands wrap around my waist, trying to escort me out of the kitchen.

“Get off me, cunt.” I spoke, trying to release myself from his grip, but he wouldn’t budge.

A few moments later, I found myself in the passenger seat on his car, my attempts of pushing him away clearly failing. I felt him strap me in, sitting me upright to make sure I wouldn’t fall or hit my head.

“Christ Y/N,” he hollered at me, “you need to get your shit together. You wouldn’t be doing this if you were sober. I really expected better from you.”

“I don’t need a lecture tonight, and besides- what’s your expectation of better. Lynch?” I added with a roll of my eyes.

I could sense the anger rushing through his body after I said that. I knew I was crossing the line, but I was fed up with the topic of conversation always being her. His grip tightened on the steering wheel as he turned the engine on.

“What’s the issue with Shan? Because it seems every fucking time something goes wrong her name is brought up.” Johnny replied.

“I didn’t say anything was wrong with her, but it’s kind of irritating how you never seem to shut up about her. Her fucking hair, the mixtape you’re making her, or some fucking book she’s reading- if she can even read. And by god, if you mention how she’s like the fucking Shannon river one more time, I’ll have your head on a platter.”

“Jesus Christ”, he mumbled under his breath. “You’re being fucking jealous right now! You’re my best mate Y/N, you’re supposed to be supportive of me. That’s how it’s been since we were kids.”

“Yeah well, a lot has changed since then. I’m not a little girl anymore. And for the record, to you I might be your best mate, but to me you’ve always been more than that.” I slurred, the words leaving my mouth before my brain could fully comprehend what I was saying.

That was the moment October 31st had one of the biggest fuck-ups of my life. The moment that Johnny Kavanagh, my forever best friend just found out the one secret I had always vowed to myself to keep a secret.

The drive home after the party felt suffocating. Johnny didn’t say a word, and I didn’t dare look at him. The alcohol swirled in my system, but it wasn’t enough to dull the sharp edge of what I’d just confessed.

The car screeched to a halt outside my house. I fumbled for the door handle, desperate to escape, but his voice stopped me cold.

“Y/N, don’t.”

I froze, my hand still gripping the handle.

“What do you want me to say, Johnny?” My voice cracked, barely above a whisper. “You heard me. I can’t take it back.”

He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what? That I’ve been in love with you since we were kids? That I’ve been dying inside every time you looked at her like she’s the fucking sun, and I’m just the shadow you forget exists?” My voice rose, trembling with years of repressed pain. “What good would it have done, Johnny? You’re in love with Shannon.”

“I’m not—”

“Don’t you dare lie to me,” I snapped, finally turning to face him. “You don’t see the way you look at her, but I do. God, I’ve memorized it, Johnny. The way your whole face lights up when she walks into the room. You don’t look at me like that. You never have.”

The silence was deafening, his mouth opening and closing as if searching for the right words, but nothing came.

“That’s what I thought.” I laughed bitterly, wiping at the tears streaming down my face. “So don’t sit here and act like this is news. I knew where I stood from the start. I just—I couldn’t keep pretending anymore.”

His voice broke the silence, low and raw. “You think I don’t care about you?”

“You care,” I spat. “But not in the way I wanted you to. Not in the way I need you to.”

Johnny slammed his hands against the steering wheel, the sharp sound cutting through the tension. “You’re wrong,” he said, his voice shaking. “You think I haven’t noticed the way you laugh when you’re trying to hide how you feel? Or the way you avoid looking at me whenever I talk about Shannon? You think I haven’t felt it too?”

I blinked, the weight of his words hanging in the air between us. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I’ve been an idiot,” he said, turning to face me fully. “I didn’t know how to handle it—how to handle us. So I ran. I told myself I couldn’t ruin what we had, that it was better this way. But you’re right. I did look at her like she was the sun, but only because I was too scared to admit that you were my whole damn sky.”

His confession hit me like a freight train. I stared at him, the raw emotion in his eyes threatening to undo me.

“But you still didn’t choose me,” I whispered, the words tasting like ash. “You chose her.”

He reached for my hand, his touch tentative, as though afraid I might break. “I didn’t choose her, Y/N. I just didn’t know how to choose you without risking everything.”

Tears streamed down my face, my chest aching as the weight of years of unspoken words crushed me. “You’ve already risked everything,” I said, my voice trembling. “You’ve broken me into so many pieces, Johnny, I don’t even know how to put myself back together.”

His grip tightened on my hand. “Then let me help you,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Let me try to make it right.”

I shook my head, my tears blurring his face. “You can’t, Johnny. Because no matter what you say now, I’ll always feel like I was second best. And I can’t live like that anymore.”

His jaw clenched, and for a moment, I thought he was going to let me go. But then he leaned forward, his hand cupping my cheek, forcing me to meet his gaze. His voice broke as he whispered, “You were never second best, Y/N. You were always the only one.”

Before I could respond, his lips crashed into mine, desperate and raw, like he was pouring every unsaid word into that one kiss. My breath caught, the pain in my chest giving way to something entirely different—something electric, something that felt like it could fix the cracks I thought were irreparable.

I melted into him, my hands gripping his shirt as if letting go would shatter me all over again. His hand tangled in my hair, holding me like he was afraid I’d slip away.

When we finally pulled apart, both of us breathless, he pressed his forehead to mine.

“I’m sorry it took me this long,” he said, his voice breaking. “But I’m here now, and I’m not letting you go.”

Tears fell freely down my cheeks, but for the first time in what felt like forever, they weren’t from heartbreak. I nodded, my voice barely above a whisper. “You’d better not.”

And for the first time, I let myself believe that maybe, just maybe, we could be whole again.

[kavanaghdreams]

I'm finally writing!

so is there anyone who would read a Johnny Kavanagh fan fic? I just finished reading the book series and I am obsessed!! I could also write about any of the other boys.